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rivalsforlife · 3 years

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Phoenix Wright: The Truth Reborn: Oh No We’re Doing This Again

hi.

Nearly two months ago, I wrote an essay summarizing and making very wild conclusions about the second Takarazuka Musical. I did this about two and a half years after watching the first Takarazuka musical. As such I did not have the full context for many things from the musical and was relying mostly on my memory, which blocked many things from this musical for my own safety. However, just this week, I decided to rewatch it, because I enjoy tormenting myself. I said I wouldn’t write anything on it. Here I am writing something on it.

Here’s the youtube thumbnail so that you know what you’re getting yourself into. And here, of course, is the link. This is the HD version which may be slightly more pleasant to watch. Maybe.

It was not quite as cringe in a funny way as the second musical to me, and therefore this essay may be less funny, but I feel like I’m doing a disservice to people by providing a summary of the second musical while completely neglecting the first. Quite possibly doing this is even more of a disservice. I just eagerly await the day that the third musical is translated because *that* will be the day that I finally shuffle off this mortal coil. Either way, I want to write this stuff down so that I never have to watch the musical again out of curiosity.

The following essay will contain major spoilers for both the first and second Phoenix Wright Takarazuka musicals, as I will be using many points from this musical to argue my thesis of the second musical. ... like you were going to watch them anyways.

This one broke 8k. I’m dead inside.

Introducing The Director

Again another disclaimer that I don’t have anything against the actresses or the theatre troupe. I DO have something against Suzuki Kei, who I recently learned is the writer and director of all three of the Ace Attorney Takarazuka musicals, and is quite possibly my mortal nemesis.

This man is the one who brought this monstrosity into the world.

This man, allegedly, cleared the first four ace attorney games *seven times* before sitting down to write these musicals. He played these goddamn games seven times and did not take in a single word. The man clicked through them mindlessly while watching a badly written legal romance drama in the background and got them completely confused. I genuinely have no idea how this man could have played these games more times than even me and yet managed to get so many characters (MAYA!!!!) completely and utterly wrong. This haunts me every day, truly.

This man played Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Justice for All, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Trials and Tribulations, and Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney seven times. SEVEN TIMES EACH!! and was told to create a musical based on the series. He played these games seven times each and you know what he said?? You know what he said?? “This sucks, I’m getting rid of all of Phoenix’s backstory, butchering half the characters, and writing Phoenix/Lana fanfiction, but also rewriting all of Lana’s backstory so that she was Phoenix’s childhood friend, and you know what, I’m changing her name for good measure.”

I think this man played the games seven times each and then hated it so much and was so sick of it he tried to write something that destroyed as much of the series as possible while still being vaguely recognizable. And then somehow it became a massive hit because people like me see this and go “what the actual hell” and watch it, or people who haven’t played the games see this and go “wow what a great musical!” and then he wrote TWO MORE, destroying EVEN MORE every time in his wake, until finally, finally, he stopped after making Edgeworth straight and time traveling into the past to face off against a corrupt Gregory. I guess that was the last straw.

I have to issue a disclaimer here that for legal reasons this is a joke. I don’t actually hate this man and would not punch him in the face if I met him because that would be rude, and he is entitled to his wrong interpretation of the games. I don’t know what his thought process was. But allegedly he did play the games seven times according to the wiki. This whole essay here is satire and not slander and I don’t want to offend this guy if he somehow stumbles across my nonsense tumblr post. At the same time: Suzuki Kei blink twice if you need help.

Anyways half the reason that I’m making this essay is because I want to share my fake ao3 page for this musical. The other half will become apparent later.

Sorry if that’s illegible because of tumblr quality it’s not really important. All you really need to know is that it’s a fake ao3 screenshot for the musical. Also in the author’s note I said he played the games four times but it was actually seven I just remembered wrong because I didn’t want to believe it.

at this point you may be like “Grace shut up and get to the actual musical” and okay, fine, let’s start this nonsense. Also note that I may be referencing things from my essay on the second musical very frequently; I’m not going to force you to go read that though because the fact that you’re reading this is enough of a torment already.

The Musical Begins

Unlike the second musical, this one opens with some narration from Phoenix.

Transcript:

Phoenix: I’m reviewing a particular case at the moment. To me, this case... is one I’ll never forget.

Immediately I think this is important because it establishes that this whole musical takes place in a flashback that Phoenix is reflecting on. Why is this important? Because we know, by the time of the second musical which takes place three years later, Leona is dead.

Knowing that Leona is inherently doomed to die of her Sad Woman Disease paints this whole musical in a different light. It’s not Phoenix reflecting on how he got back together with his lover; it’s Phoenix dwelling on their past together, and the opportunities they had, before her life was so cruelly and inexplicably taken away. We don’t know if Phoenix’s reminiscing takes place before or after Leona’s death... but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was after.

Phoenix, still in the present, starts to sing. “A wave appears on the horizon like a mirage, it trembles, then vanishes. Your voice, carried upon the waves, fades upon the shore, erasing the splendor of the past.”

This line actually shows up in the second musical, sung by Lucia about her imprisoned fiance quite possibly. It’s kind of hard to tell what the meaning of these songs even are. They’re too abstract for me I think. But this line appears very frequently in the first musical when Phoenix is thinking about Leona.

Then we enter the flashback time.

Phoenix inexplicably yells at a newspaper saleswoman. This is not relevant to anything whatsoever. Then Larry barges in to the office, looking for Maya. Phoenix describes him as “A real trouble maker, but you just can’t hate the guy”, the latter part of which I think many people would disagree with.

Well, afterwards, Maya comes in. Phoenix describes her like this while making exaggerated “can you believe this shit” gestures.

Transcript:

Phoenix: She’s as ditzy as they come. Oh, and about the outfit... Apparently she comes from a family of spirit mediums. Try not to make fun of her, okay?

Suzuki Kei personally has it out for Maya and I can never forgive him for it. Maya in these musicals is here for pure comedic relief but it’s not even comedic because I just get so angry. How can you play the trilogy seven times and think this about her?? The girl who figured out DL-6?? The girl who told Phoenix to sacrifice her life in order to find the truth?? The girl who put on a brave smile in order to try and cheer up her younger cousin even after she saw her own mother murdered right in front of her eyes?? That Maya Fey?? Ditzy as they come??????

Ugh. Moving on.

Maya and Larry run off, leaving Phoenix to watch the American Broadcast.

Important things to note here are the Godot mug, the little line up of what I think are the messed up little ace attorney figurines beneath the screen, and the fact that while this broadcast is supposedly from and to America the screen is actually not at all showing America. Like literally almost everywhere in the world except North and South America.

The broadcast says that Leona Clyde, age 24, was arrested for murdering the senator Robert Cole! Leona Clyde -- that’s Phoenix’s ex-girlfriend! He runs off to the detention center.

She is not happy to see him.

Leona: Mr. Wright... I’m not the woman you once knew.

Let’s Play A Matching Game

Sorry for the abundance of screenshots that are going to be throughout this section. Phoenix convinces Leona to let him defend her. Some of the conversation seems... familiar.

Leona: No one would defend someone who admits to killing a senator. I’m waiting for a court-appointed attorney.

Edgeworth: Every defense attorney I’ve talked to has turned me down.

Phoenix: In that case, let me defend you.

Game Phoenix: Let me defend you.

Leona: Don’t be ridiculous!

Edgeworth: Don’t be ridiculous.

Phoenix: I’ll never accept that you’re a murderer. Let me prove your innocence!

Game Phoenix: Huh? Isn’t it obvious? I’m going to prove that Miles Edgeworth is innocent.

Leona: I’ve already confessed my guilt.

Gumshoe: He confessed that he did it! In court!

Leona: It’s foolish to think you can win this case.

Edgeworth: My case is near hopeless, Wright.

Leona: (in response to phoenix offering to defend her) No you won’t! Don’t ever come here again.

Edgeworth: Look, just go away, and leave me alone!

Phoenix: You of all people should know. Once I decide to do something, I see it through to the end.

Edgeworth: Once you start on something, you always see it through, don’t you?

Leona: I never thought that you’d be representing me.

Phoenix: Ah, who could have guessed this day would come?

Edgeworth: Not me.

Phoenix: You believed in me. You saved me. And this time, I swear... I swear I’ll save you!

Game Phoenix: Edgeworth believed in me, and I believe in him. I’m the only one who knows the real Edgeworth. I’m the only one who can help him.

I could’ve done a few more, but tumblr is already threatening to murder my laptop.

So long story short, Phoenix manages to convince his lover to let him be the defense on the case. Then immediately after swearing to save Leona, he starts singing a song, which I’m not screencapping because this is enough:

“As long as there are people in this world, there’s only one path I will follow! As long as there is love in this world, there’s only one path I will believe in!”

Edgeworth sings this in the second musical after saying that he returned to California because of Phoenix. Phoenix sings it now after swearing to defend Leona. You draw your own conclusions.

And then we finally get the opening credits. Eleven minutes in.

Just Pretend This Is Narumitsu Fanfiction

Following the credits, we see a beautiful beach. Couples (exclusively heterosexual, of course,) dance and embrace in the background for some time, before revealing Phoenix and Leona, in the Even Further Past, before the LSATs or whatever the ace attorney universe’s excuse for law school exams are.

Phoenix establishes his absolute hatred of change, an important characterization moment.

Phoenix: The view here never changes, huh?

Phoenix reminisces on when they were kids. Leona’s parents were both lawyers (they’re both lawyers) and sometimes they would be like lawyers with her when she was a kid. This inspired her to also become a lawyer after their tragic death of Sickness. They never specify what the sickness is that caused two people who must be relatively young to die while Leona was in her early twenties at the latest. It may be whatever sickness claimed Leona’s life later. Sad Woman Disease. (Sad Man Disease for her father, I guess?)

Phoenix also talks about why he’s becoming a lawyer.

Phoenix: Watching you chase your dream inspired me to become a lawyer too.

So, it’s not “my childhood friend looked sad in a newspaper” because I guess that makes no sense or is too gay or something. But this is another important piece of Phoenix characterization. His entire life so far has been focused around Leona. They’ve been friends since they were kids, and then Phoenix decided to become a lawyer solely because Leona was becoming a lawyer. Not even to try and get back into contact with her after she moved away or anything; just because he’s so obsessed with her that he wants to have the same career as her, then they can run a Mom & Pop Law Firm or something, years in the future, after years of happy marriage and a few children or like whatever the hell.

Well, there’s a few steps they’ll need to get to that. At this point Phoenix still hasn’t confessed his feelings for Leona. He does so here, on this beach.

Leona tries to protest.

Leona: But I’m pushy, selfish, and only care about my goals... You’d get fed up with me.

Phoenix: That’s what I’ve always admired about you. That’s who I’ve been chasing all these years. That’s the only person... I love.

Sooo, Phoenix, your type is pushy selfish people who only care about their goals...? In the first, older lower-quality video translation it was “only care about my work”, too. Hm. Things to think about.

They sing a little duet together. Then we go back to present-day of what’s technically still a flashback. Whatever. Murder is happening.

Back To The Murder

So some plot things to establish: Leona is the legal counsel of Governor Miller, who is running for president in the AMERICAN PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION. After the flashback so that Phoenix has some time to change clothes, they show an interview of him talking about the murder.

Governor Miller: I vow to forge a peaceful country with my own two hands, and to prepare myself for whatever may lie ahead.

Reporters: Through thick and thin, he’s a friend of the people!

The Takarazuka musicals are not very good at hiding their killers.

Phoenix: Oh yeah... It’s almost time for the presidential election, isn’t it?

NEVER FORGET, WRIGHT. THIS IS AMERICA. LAND OF THE FREE! god what even was that line.

Anyways, we meet Gumshoe, who is incompetent once again. Maya runs around the crime scene, picks up the murder weapon, puts her fingerprints all over everything, moves things around, all while Phoenix is like “lol get a load of the world’s stupidest girl” or whatever. But who cares about that.

It’s time to get to the only valid part of this musical.

Edgeworth’s Gay Little Villain Solo

You may have seen this one before.

Edgeworth arrives, but not really. It’s like Phoenix heard Edgeworth was prosecuting and immediately entered a dream-like state, where Edgeworth is heralded by the sound of trumpets in Great Revival. He’s played by a different actress than in the other two musicals, since I think she retired in between the six or so months from this musical to the second. She still plays the role well, though, or as well as can be when you’re written in an ace attorney Takarazuka musical.

Shrouded in scarlet solitude... it’s Edgeworth.

Yes, those are six Edgeworths. Yes, they pick Phoenix up and carry him around and dance with him. Yes, it was probably not meant to be at all homoerotic.

He sings a song that’s called “My rule”. I only figured this out later, but it’s loosely based on a “catchphrase” of his in the Japanese version - in game 1 he says something along the lines of “All I can do is get every defendant declared guilty! So I make that my policy.” In DD in his dramatic anime introduction before the trial, he says “I intend to question the defendant with all I have. For that is a part of my creed.” “So I make that my policy” and “For that is a part of my creed”, to my understanding, are both translated from the same line, which I think is like, “sore ga watashi no ruru”, “That is my rule.” (If I’m wrong, please correct me.) In this song he sings about how he’ll reduce all criminals to ash and such, basically talks about his game 1 prosecuting strategy as “my rule”.

It’s very fun and probably if you want to only watch one number of this musical, it can be this one. It starts about 26:10 in the video I linked.

Once the musical number is done, Phoenix and Edgeworth stare at each other, and the background fades into the courtroom, so court begins. I feel like I should note that Phoenix has not picked up any evidence or talked to any witnesses in this investigation except for Gumshoe, since Maya just moved some things around and then Phoenix had some weird fever dream about Edgeworth which presumably took up the rest of the day.

The Trial, Day 1

Edgeworth: Consider it a prelude to the poignant Greek tragedy that’s about to unfold.

Maya: The real tragedy’s your pompous attitude!

Those are the only screenshots I took of this trial day. Here’s a summary, though:

The trial starts off with Leona confessing, Phoenix says “no I think she’s innocent”, and since ace attorney doesn’t care about the defendant’s wishes he’s allowed to proceed. For some reason Leona lets him do this without complaint.

Gumshoe is the first witness, he claims to have caught Leona red-handed at the scene of the crime, standing over the corpse. Phoenix tries to claim that since Gumshoe didn’t see Leona committing the crime, he didn’t actually catch her red-handed, to which Edgeworth responds “What do you think being caught red-handed means?”

Once Gumshoe is dismissed, Lotta takes the stand. She has a photo of the actual moment of the crime, where Leona is holding a knife in the air in front of the victim.

The Takarazuka musicals like to do this thing where the image is blurry and zoomed out, but then Phoenix will go “I’VE NOTICED A CONTRADICTION” and it zooms in really far as the resolution increases drastically in order to show you the contradiction that is impossible to spot for yourself, because they don’t want people figuring out the mystery in this musical based off of a video game where you have to solve the mystery yourself. Anyways Phoenix zooms in on this photo and sees that there’s blood on Leona’s hand, presumably before she stabbed the victim. How did it get there?

Edgeworth suggests the victim was stabbed multiple times. Phoenix says the autopsy report contradicts that. Edgeworth, uncharacteristically, does not update it to suit his argument.

Phoenix concludes that this photo is not showing the moment Leona stabbed the victim, but the moment Leona removed the knife! ... Which somehow casts doubt on her having been the one to stab the victim. Because as everyone knows, anyone wanting to kill someone would never remove a knife, it’s not like they’d bleed out faster that way, or anything.

And this whole contradiction is confusing because presumably if the victim was stabbed and then the knife was removed, they’d know that happened, because then the knife would not be found stuck in the victim’s body, since the victim was only stabbed once. So this shouldn’t be news to the prosecution that someone removed the knife after stabbing. But the investigation was headed by the most incompetent version of Gumshoe ever, so. sure. I guess no one knew.

That at least manages to extend the trial another day.

This Totally Has To Be Illegal

After the trial, Phoenix goes to talk to Governor Miller, aka Mr. Totally The Real Killer. Phoenix asks him why he decided to hire Leona as his legal advisor.

Basically, it’s because her parents were both renowned lawyers. Her father was a Chief Prosecutor, and her mother was a defense attorney. ... a prosecutor and a defense attorney couple... who does that remind us of...

Phoenix points out that just because her parents were good lawyers, it doesn’t mean she’d necessarily be one. Miller says that, sure, but she is actually really talented, and her law school marks were spectacular. Phoenix says “WHY WERE YOU LOOKING AT HER LAW SCHOOL MARKS”, like it’s somehow? suspicious? for a government official hiring legal counsel to look at their law school marks?

Apparently it IS suspicious because Governor Miller freaks out and asks if this is an interrogation. Before Phoenix can press much further, he gets a phone call, and leaves Phoenix alone in a big room.

So naturally Phoenix behaves like a fully grown adult running a law firm.

If all he did was sit in the chair, lift up a desk lamp, and poke his finger on a pen, that’s one thing. But then he leans over, OPENS THE GOVERNOR’S DESK DRAWER, and finds a knife that’s just sitting there casually. It looks like a butter knife. It’s not anything major. Maybe the dude just wanted to butter his toast?

I mean I know Phoenix will dig around in stuff whenever in the games, but he has no reason to suspect Governor Miller at all, much less dig through his drawer probably full of confidential government documents to lift up a knife that he thinks is suspicious. It’s not even covered in blood or anything?

Naturally Governor Miller’s assistant comes in just then, and Phoenix puts the knife. in his breast pocket.

bud. It may look like a butter knife, but putting knives up against your chest is not a great idea. Much less stealing a knife from a governor?

Well, in his panic, he accidentally knocks over a bunch of books on the desk. The governor’s assistant helps him pick them up, and they find a photo. Look a little familiar?

The photo has the assistant, the victim Robert Cole, Governor Miller, and the victim’s brother who died in an incident two years ago. He’s the “Neil Marshall” of this musical, and he died in what was essentially the SL-9 incident. Same general premise, except it occurred in the courthouse, and the names are different.

AND FINALLY WE REACH THE END OF ACT 1. They do a musical number here which is a weird sort of mashup of the main opening credits song, Edgeworth’s Villain Solo, and the love duet between Phoenix and Leona. They are all such different songs that it sounds a little weird.

ACT 2, FINALLY

The act begins on a sour note with Maya playing with the knife and showing off her characterization, which is one of the most infuriating Maya characterizations you’ll sometimes see around the fandom by people who don’t like Maya.

Maya: Let me whip up my special spirit channeler hamburgers!

sigh.

But then we’re saved (?) by the arrival of EDGEWORTH, who is presumably just here to chat. He asks Phoenix if he’s defending Leona in hopes of winning her back, then says to keep out of it, since it’s a very important case and he can’t understand the gravity of it.

Then Phoenix says this.

Phoenix: Would you be saying that if you were the one on trial? The defendant is in a dark prison, reaching out for hope... Can you imagine the loneliness and sorrow of being ostracized?

CAN YOU IMAGINE IT, EDGEWORTH? CAN YOU IMAGINE IF YOU WERE ON TRIAL AND I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO WOULD DEFEND YOU AND BELIEVED IN YOUR INNOCENCE??

Edgeworth responds to this by essentially rehashing his speech in Turnabout Sisters about how he needs to find all defendants guilty because he can’t guarantee their innocence and all that. Maya gets upset and leaves so that Phoenix and Edgeworth can talk about their childhood in private.

Phoenix once again complains about how people change since nine years old.

Phoenix then says that he has something Edgeworth doesn’t: the POWER TO BELIEVE! Then Maya comes in and tries to spike Edgeworth’s coffee, so he leaves.

The Class Trial

Phoenix explains a bit about Edgeworth and his backstory to Maya. Namely, the class trial. Phoenix was accused of stealing lunch money, Edgeworth stood up for him, but instead of Larry, Leona stood up for him. I guess Suzuki Kei thought “oh the class trial, if Leona stood up for him, it would be so romantic, because she’s a woman, and he’s a man”, or something like that.

Edgeworth wanted to become a Great Lawyer Like His Father! But then he turned cold as ice.

Phoenix: His father got too deeply involved in a case... and paid for it with his life. Edgeworth saw him murdered. He was never the same again. I bet he couldn’t forgive the criminal.

Yeah I bet he couldn’t ever forgive the person he thought killed his father all these years, Phoenix. I bet he really hates that person, Phoenix. I bet he has nightmares about that person killing his father or something, Phoenix.

Phoenix: He vanished, then returned without his mercy or compassion. He had become a monster. When he lost his father, he also lost the ability to believe in others.

So like... one of the most chilling things about this musical is that they never actually solve DL-6. This probably roughly takes place 15 years after DL-6, since they were about the same age when the class trial started, and at least Leona is 24 now. The next musical takes place three years from now, and in it, Edgeworth refers to von Karma as his mentor, implying he’s still around and doing things.

So, in addition to everything else going wrong with this musical, DL-6 still happens, but von Karma never frames Edgeworth for it fifteen years later. The statute of limitations runs out, and von Karma forever gets away with his crime. And Edgeworth has no idea.

What changes did they make to DL-6, though, you may ask? I’m desperate to know as well. In the third musical, which I’ve watched because I hate myself but am unable to fully understand because I don’t know much Japanese, there is a scene where Miles flashbacks to DL-6. It’s abstract, but he makes gun-throwing motions at Gregory, followed by a gunshot sound.

Therefore, in this musical’s internal canon, either Miles Edgeworth shot his father, or he believes he did for the rest of his life.

... moving on.

Phoenix: But he still has his humanity. It’s still there, deep down inside!

At least, if nothing else, Phoenix still believes in him. Even this Takarazuka Musical couldn’t touch that.

The Feenie Sweater

Right after this, Larry barges in, and Phoenix leaves him alone with Maya. The musical tries teasing Larry/Maya, but fortunately, Maya’s having none of it.

Maya: You’re barking up the wrong tree.

Props to this musical for not being as bad as it could have been.

After this, the two sit down on the couch, and Maya asks for more gossip on Phoenix and Leona. Larry launches into a story, which turns into a flashback that ends up being narrated by Phoenix halfway through. This one’s about Phoenix and Leona’s relationship.

This is an interesting line in here, “I’ll guide you to the future”, for it loosely referencing the sort of love ballad Phoenix sings with Lucia in the second musical which is about “I’ll take you to that radiant future”, and he later sings to the memory of Leona right around the time of his big spiral into despair.

I’m sorry if you haven’t read my other essay and just said “wait what” to what I just typed.

Leona was getting ready to move to New York to defend the weak “in the big city”. This is rather strange wording because it implies that California does not in fact have a big city. She says some things in her conversation with Phoenix that probably plant some of his later issues.

Leona: This is the first time we’ll be apart since we were kids.

Leona: We promised we’d always be together.

Leona: I’ll be waiting. Waiting for you to come to me.

Haha. Sure would be a shame... if something were to happen... and they wouldn’t be able to be together anymore...

So some dancers wearing black come in and take off their outer jackets, to symbolize the passage of time. They circle around Phoenix and Leona. In this, you can just barely see, Phoenix is wearing a pink sweater beneath his jacket.

“Oh,” I think to myself, “Is that the Feenie sweater? Are they including it here as a reference to the games?”

Then the dancers keep moving.

THAT IS NOT THE FEENIE SWEATER. That is a pink sweater with a sexily drawn woman on it.

This is the other half of the reason why I decided to go through with making this essay.

This is so incredibly funny to me. Suzuki Kei Who Has Played The Games Seven Times has seen the hand-knit bright pink sweater with a giant red heart on it seven times. The sweater Iris, Phoenix’s girlfriend, lovingly knit for him that he wears all the time even though it is one of the tackiest, cheesiest items of clothing to ever exist. And so, when the costume designers were designing the clothes for College Phoenix Wright, they asked themselves: “Should we include the Feenie sweater?”

and “NO,” someone must have shouted, “NO, we can NOT include the Feenie sweater, it is PINK and it has a HEART on it and it’s TOO GIRLY. Phoenix Wright is a MANLY MAN. He would not EVER wear something PINK with a HEART on it.”

“BUT,” someone else said, “it’s a REFERENCE to the original games, where he DID wear a pink sweater with a heart on it! We MUST include it to pander to the fans!”

“WAIT,” a third person interjected. “I have a BRILLIANT IDEA. We can keep the pink... But to make it VERY CLEAR he is a heterosexual, masculine male... we put a sexy woman on it.”

And Person Three Got A Raise.

Thank god we’re finally halfway done this musical.

We Just Have To Go On With Our Lives Now

There’s plot or something happening. Leona breaks up with Phoenix inexplicably over the phone. Probably because of that freaking sweater. Imagine wearing that. God.

Eventually we go back to Phoenix talking to Leona, and he asks about the Jack Lyon case, which is the rip-off version of the Joe Darke case. Leona is pretty cagey about it, but Phoenix proves that she was there in the gallery that day. Leona refuses to answer, claims again that she killed the victim in her case, and leaves.

This makes Phoenix sad, so he starts singing.

Phoenix: I want to bring you back! I believe in you.

If this sounds familiar, it’s the part where I started absolutely losing my mind in the second musical because this line had never shown up before then, I’d forgotten it was in this musical, and Phoenix was screaming it alone in a red room, so I thought he was like desperately resorting to a necromancy ritual in hopes of bringing Leona back to life.

Instead, this line actually has CONTEXT, though it does just end up enforcing my theory. This is Phoenix mourning what he used to have with Leona, wanting to bring the “old her” back, because he’s devastated that people sometimes change. There are several flashbacks of their college days where he’s wearing his Sexy Woman Sweater. He does succeed in winning her back at the end of this musical. Before she dies, of course.

Phoenix in musical 2 still believes that he can bring back what he used to have with Leona... even beyond death. That’s something affirmed by this musical. I’m very grateful to it for somehow managing to enforce my nonsensical theory.

Doctor Ema

After this, Phoenix returns to his office, and meets with someone new.

That’s right! Only now, halfway through the musical, do we actually get to meet the Ema-equivalent to Leona’s Lana-equivalent. Her name is Monica Clyde. She has little rainbow heart stickers on her briefcase, which is the closest thing this musical has to acknowledging that gay people exist.

But what does this little briefcase contain, you may ask? Scientific investigation tools? No.

A full surgical toolset. Because you never know when someone’ll get sick, or when someone will need an entire operation in front of you. I guess.

So yes, Monica Clyde is not a forensic scientist in training, but a doctor! She decided to become a doctor because of her parents, who passed away of The Sickness, and so became a doctor in order to save lives like theirs.

Once more this has much darker and deeper implications than the musical is even aware of, because Monica is so anxious about treating sick people that she carries a full surgical toolset around with her at all times, scared to lose someone like she lost her parents... and then sometime in the next three years, Leona, her big sister, is going to die.

Of what? The strange Sickness that claimed her parents? A car accident? A botched spur-of-the-moment surgery? Whatever it is, Monica was unable to save her, even when she’d been training her entire life for it.

Monica is not mentioned at all throughout the second musical. It’s as if she does not exist.

Because unlike Ema of Rise From The Ashes, Monica is not at the heart of this story. She is, primarily, a plot device here to make Leona not trust Phoenix so that he can angst about their relationship.

What a mess this world is.

The Trial, Part 2

Rather than try to prove Leona’s innocence, Phoenix wants to link the current case to not-SL-9, the Jack Lyon case. He does this by showing this picture.

Senator Cole, the victim, is in this picture. His younger brother whose name I’ve forgotten, the victim of not-SL-9, is also in this picture. They are brothers. It is apparently novel that they are in the same picture, and somehow makes their cases linked.

As well, Governor Miller is in the picture. I guess you could say like... Governor Miller’s legal counsel is the defendant, so that’s another link? Even though the Governor would presumably know a Senator, so this isn’t an unusual group. Right now Phoenix has absolutely nothing to prove that these two cases are linked other than “hey, these two victims are brothers”, but apparently it works. So they spend a lot of time talking about not-SL-9, since Leona has confessed to the murder on day 1 and there is absolutely nothing indicating that she can’t be immediately declared guilty.

They hid the fact that Monica was a hostage in this not-SL-9, meaning that some of the case records were forged. Here’s Edgeworth’s reaction when this comes out.

Edgeworth: This is an outrage! I’m the most influential prosecutor in America! There’s nothing I don’t know!

In RFTA, when Edgeworth learns he’d been using forged evidence to give a man the death penalty, he is devastated, his entire worldview is shaken, he sees himself as a monster who could end up becoming horribly corrupt if he isn’t stopped.

Musical Edgeworth goes “I DIDN’T KNOW SOMETHING???”

It’s certainly strange characterization, but I guess Edgeworth is further behind in his character arc than in RFTA, so... ugh. Fine.

Phoenix calls Monica out as a witness to prove she was involved in the case. This causes Leona to panic, and try to dismiss Phoenix as her attorney, like Lana in RFTA, but Edgeworth interjects to call Monica in anyways. He and Phoenix have a little moment.

Edgeworth: You said to believe in others. I suppose I’ll try believing in you. Try to keep up.

Phoenix: Edgeworth!

So Monica comes to the stand to testify. We get to see this picture of Monica being held hostage, and not-Joe-Darke’s incredible eyeliner.

Lots of it is very similar to the actual RFTA, except instead of the victim being stabbed on the knight with the giant knife, he’s instead stabbed with a regular old knife. Leona still refuses to admit to what really happened, until Edgeworth convinces her to believe in Phoenix.

Edgeworth: Your attorney is a runaway train with a one-track mind. Yet he placed all of his faith in you. Believe in him. You owe him that much.

Leona testifies, and says that when she found the victim, he was stabbed with a scalpel.

Here is where things get weird.

Scalpels Can’t Kill People

So basically earlier in this trial, they talk about how Leona knew that the knife that stabbed the victim was double-edged despite being buried in his chest. The judge questions if this means Leona killed him, but Phoenix is quick to say no, she was searched when she entered the courthouse and couldn’t have concealed a knife.

Yet, Monica was able to bring in her surgical toolkit which contains several sharp knives, scalpels, scissors, etc.

This is the first major contradiction.

Leona continues to say that when she found Monica, and the scalpel stabbed in the victim, she also ran into Governor Miller, who if you haven’t been able to tell yet is the Gant-equivalent of this musical. He offered to help her with the cover-up, etc.

The next bit goes a lot like RFTA. Phoenix accuses Governor Miller, who barges in, says Phoenix has the decisive evidence in his pocket. This is the “butter knife” that Phoenix took from his office when he dug around in confidential documents and stole it for no particular reason. It has Monica’s fingerprints on it! ... And Phoenix’s and Maya’s too probably because they were handling it without gloves, but they don’t mention that part.

Leona cries about how she shouldn’t have trusted Phoenix because he was apparently now blaming Monica, Monica looks terrified, she and Leona have some good sister moments but it’s not as good as it could be if the story was actually about Leona and Monica like how RFTA was about Lana and Ema. But Phoenix has the decisive piece of evidence that can turn this around.

It is this:

Phoenix: Scalpels are made for medical incisions, not stabbings. So how did it stab the victim?

...

... What?

So like. Yes, scalpels are made for medical incisions. Medical incisions often involve cutting through flesh, very easily. As a result, they are sharp. Extremely sharp. As in: their purpose is literally to stab people, very specifically.

Yes, they’re easier to control, so that surgeons don’t regularly stab people how they’re not supposed to be stabbed, but it’s not like, impossible to stab someone in a killing way with a scalpel? Admittedly, I have never tried to kill someone using a scalpel. And I do not have experience using a scalpel for surgeries because I am not a surgeon. But I’m pretty sure, if you take a sharp scalpel, and you stab someone in the chest with it with a reasonable amount of force... they die.

Like, is this a particular kind of scalpel that is not very sharp? Is the problem that the blade doesn’t match up with the initial wound? But even then, we don’t have the original unforged autopsy report or even a picture, so how would Phoenix know what the original wound looked like to say it didn’t match up? And even then why wouldn’t Phoenix say that instead of SCALPELS CAN’T STAB PEOPLE???

This is his decisive contradiction and it makes ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE TO ME!!!

Well Darn I Guess Scalpels Can’t Kill People

This is such a decisive piece of evidence, that scalpels can’t kill people, coming from the man who thought “caught red-handed” does not involve being caught standing over a corpse with blood on your hands, that it causes Governor Miller to confess.

Unlike Gant, who created the murder with Neil Marshall both to ensure that there was decisive evidence to convict Joe Darke, a serial killer who had not left any decisive evidence behind, and gain control over the prosecutor’s office in order to pull similar stunts to get criminals convicted using false evidence, Governor Miller does not have that as his motive. After all, he’s not a police officer. Instead, he ended up accidentally killing not-Joe-Darke, and then set up the incident in order to get Leona on his side. As her parents were both influential lawyers and very respectable, having her and her parents’ reputation on his side could help him become President of America Where This Takes Place.

So, let’s just take a moment to run over some of the things that made the original Rise From The Ashes great, in my opinion. Just for fun.

1 - The heart of the story between the Skye sisters. Lana closing off to protect Ema, Ema wanting to get through to her sister and get back to the way things used to be. Phoenix, in this story, is more of a bystander to this plotline rather than in the heart of it himself.

2 - Edgeworth’s Character Development. Basically RFTA creates an interesting transition between Turnabout Goodbyes and JFA. It causes Edgeworth to re-evaluate everything he knows about being a prosecutor. So quickly on the heels of Turnabout Goodbyes, it crushes the last bit of hope in him. It compares him to Gant, who also hates criminals, and forces him to wonder if his hatred of crime will one day lead to him being a criminal himself. He’s already convicted one person on forged evidence; how many others could there be?

3 - The Ends Justify The Means. ... wait come back, don’t leave. What I found neat about this case was also Gant’s motive. At one point he was presumably an honest person who hated crime and wanted to stop criminals. But over time in the police force, he became corrupted. He wanted to have all criminals convicted. So what do you do when you don’t have the evidence to convict them? Joe Darke was a serial killer who has killed several people and may have killed more if he’d gone free. The only way to stop and convict him was by using forged evidence. Other criminals could hide evidence to get away with their crimes, so people like Gant would make it up to catch them; but then when do you stop? What happens if there’s no evidence because someone is truly innocent? When does the line between “this person is a criminal and I want to stop them” and “I just want to convict everyone I’m dealing with” become blurred? This is also something he shares with Edgeworth and helps to advance his character.

All three of these things are either lessened or outright ignored in this musical. Leona and Monica’s story takes a backseat to Phoenix and Leona’s Love Story, with Monica only showing up halfway through, and mainly as an excuse as to why Leona is withdrawn. Edgeworth doesn’t seem to blame himself for the forged evidence he used, and doesn’t have a crisis questioning his morality over it. And Governor Miller’s motive is purely power. Unlike Gant, who would have become Chief of Police whether he solved SL-9 or not, Miller needed Leona to win the presidency. And instead of asking her to help him with his campaign like a normal person, he just blackmailed her instead.

... How do you play the games seven times and miss this much?

The Case Finally Ends

god. we’re almost there.

The case ends, Leona is declared not guilty but will still face trial for covering up murders and such. Probably less of a sentence than Lana because she was not involved in ongoing police corruption? Either way she’s dead in three years, so she’s got something a bit more concerning coming up.

She’s led away. Phoenix sings a bit about Leona before being interrupted by Edgeworth... who has something important to tell him.

Edgeworth: You awakened within me those once-cherished emotions I had discarded. I see visions of a distant, nostalgic past.

So basically this is the unnecessary feelings of the musical. Something along the lines of “seeing you again and fighting for my former ideals is making me question many things about myself.”

How does Phoenix respond?

Phoenix: Edgeworth... Try talking normally for a chance.

Sure, we were all thinking it, but that’s a little cold, Phoenix.

Edgeworth tries a smooth recovery.

Edgeworth: I don’t do... idle chit-chat.

This doesn’t accomplish much. So he leaves to allow Leona to visit with Phoenix alone. He’s got to go change for something more important coming up.

Leona and Phoenix decide that they’re going to get back together once Leona is done her sentence! They make a promise that is very funny if you know she’ll be dead in three years.

Phoenix: I’ll be waiting. For you.

There are a lot of hugs here, I’m not screencapping them all. There are also several moments where their faces get very close together and like, their nose brushes the other’s cheek or something, but they never actually kiss. Is it because the actresses weren’t comfortable with it (valid), or they thought kissing would be too much for the musical (sure, whatever), or since both characters are played by women the show staff did not want two women kissing on stage (probably the real answer)? I don’t like watching kisses, but I kept bracing myself for one and then it never happened, so.

Phoenix ends the main part of the musical with one last musical number starring my personal favourite piece:

Phoenix: I want to bring you back! I believe in you.

I like to think that at this point, this is present-day Phoenix, after finishing his reminiscing, still desperately wishing he could bring Leona back from death.

But alas, he cannot. And so, after one last daydream of them dancing together on the beaches of California, singing about their love, the musical ends.

Dance Time!

This starts at exactly the two hour mark, if you’re interested in watching what is, once again, one of the only fun parts of this musical.

Seriously, Edgeworth’s actress kills it here, when I first saw this I went “oh, this is why I saw so many people being gay for her on twitter.”

Edgeworth’s song is an encore of “My Rule”, so it’s lots of fun. Afterwards Phoenix gets another fun piece.

Then we get to the love ballad part, which I can probably overanalyze, I feel like I haven’t done enough ridiculous over-analyzing in this essay in comparison to the other.

Uhhh so the fog represents how Phoenix feels lost in this world without Leona. You can see it in the second screenshot separating the two of them, representing the barrier of death between the two of them. Idk it’s midnight I’m getting worn out from having to think about this musical for so long.

But his mourning over Leona’s death becomes even more apparent in the credits, where Phoenix sings that one line again:

Phoenix: I want to bring you back! I believe in you.

I’m not fixing that screenshot, I think it’s oddly fitting, in a way. That’s me right now.

Then at the very end, he sings this song.

Phoenix: I’ll spend... this eternal life... soaring through... the heavens!

Technically, this refers to his name Phoenix, but let’s dig a little deeper. He spends the rest of his life soaring through the heavens... the heavens that Leona went to after her untimely death, perhaps?

Overall, the musical becomes much more interesting when you just see it as a prequel to the second musical. This musical establishes many core concepts of Phoenix’s character: his refusal to believe in the concept of things changing, for one, and also his extreme dependency on Leona who he was never separated from since they were kids and where he based his entire life around her dreams and ideals. All he can think about is her. And in the end, he promises to wait for her in California.

Yet, to paraphrase Miles Edgeworth, all that is waiting for him is her death. Their dream of opening up a Mom & Pop Law Firm will never come true.

Thanks again for bearing with me even though this wasn’t as funny!

#ace attorney #phoenix wright the truth reborn #idk maybe someone wanted to know what the first musical was like without actually watching it?#my essays #my posts #i'm TIRED i'm going to BED goodNIGHT #this is less funny jokes and more actually criticizing the musical #because so much of this is like. wow. you really thought that was a good idea huh #just skip to the feenie sweater part honestly that's the funniest part of this musical

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innuendostudios · 3 years

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Thoughts on: Criterion's Neo-Noir Collection

I have written up all 26 films* in the Criterion Channel's Neo-Noir Collection.

Legend: rw - rewatch; a movie I had seen before going through the collection dnrw - did not rewatch; if a movie met two criteria (a. I had seen it within the last 18 months, b. I actively dislike it) I wrote it up from memory.

* in September, Brick leaves the Criterion Channel and is replaced in the collection with Michael Mann's Thief. May add it to the list when that happens.

Note: These are very "what was on my mind after watching." No effort has been made to avoid spoilers, nor to make the plot clear for anyone who hasn't seen the movies in question. Decide for yourself if that's interesting to you.

Cotton Comes to Harlem I feel utterly unequipped to asses this movie. This and Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song the following year are regularly cited as the progenitors of the blaxploitation genre. (This is arguably unfair, since both were made by Black men and dealt much more substantively with race than the white-directed films that followed them.) Its heroes are a couple of Black cops who are treated with suspicion both by their white colleagues and by the Black community they're meant to police. I'm not 100% clear on whether they're the good guys? I mean, I think they are. But the community's suspicion of them seems, I dunno... well-founded? They are working for The Man. And there's interesting discussion to the had there - is the the problem that the law is carried out by racists, or is the law itself racist? Can Black cops make anything better? But it feels like the film stacks the deck in Gravedigger and Coffin Ed's favor; the local Black church is run by a conman, the Back-to-Africa movement is, itself, a con, and the local Black Power movement is treated as an obstacle. Black cops really are the only force for justice here. Movie portrays Harlem itself as a warm, thriving, cultured community, but the people that make up that community are disloyal and easily fooled. Felt, to me, like the message was "just because they're cops doesn't mean they don't have Black soul," which, nowadays, we would call copaganda. But, then, do I know what I'm talking about? Do I know how much this played into or off of or against stereotypes from 1970? Was this a radical departure I don't have the context to appreciate? Is there substance I'm too white and too many decades removed to pick up on? Am I wildly overthinking this? I dunno. Seems like everyone involved was having a lot of fun, at least. That bit is contagious.

Across 110th Street And here's the other side of the "race film" equation. Another movie set in Harlem with a Black cop pulled between the police, the criminals, and the public, but this time the film is made by white people. I like it both more and less. Pro: this time the difficult position of Black cop who's treated with suspicion by both white cops and Black Harlemites is interrogated. Con: the Black cop has basically no personality other than "honest cop." Pro: the racism of the police force is explicit and systemic, as opposed to comically ineffectual. Con: the movie is shaped around a racist white cop who beats the shit out of Black people but slowly forms a bond with his Black partner. Pro: the Black criminal at the heart of the movie talks openly about how the white world has stacked the deck against him, and he's soulful and relateable. Con: so of course he dies in the end, because the only way privileged people know to sympathetize with minorities is to make them tragic (see also: The Boys in the Band, Philadelphia, and Brokeback Mountain for gay men). Additional con: this time Harlem is portrayed as a hellhole. Barely any of the community is even seen. At least the shot at the end, where the criminal realizes he's going to die and throws the bag of money off a roof and into a playground so the Black kids can pick it up before the cops reclaim it was powerful. But overall... yech. Cotton Comes to Harlem felt like it wasn't for me; this feels like it was 100% for me and I respect it less for that.

The Long Goodbye (rw) The shaggiest dog. Like much Altman, more compelling than good, but very compelling. Raymond Chandler's story is now set in the 1970's, but Philip Marlowe is the same Philip Marlowe of the 1930's. I get the sense there was always something inherently sad about Marlowe. Classic noir always portrayed its detectives as strong-willed men living on the border between the straightlaced world and its seedy underbelly, crossing back and forth freely but belonging to neither. But Chandler stresses the loneliness of it - or, at least, the people who've adapted Chandler do. Marlowe is a decent man in an indecent world, sorting things out, refusing to profit from misery, but unable to set anything truly right. Being a man out of step is here literalized by putting him forty years from the era where he belongs. His hardboiled internal monologue is now the incessant mutterings of the weird guy across the street who never stops smoking. Like I said: compelling! Kael's observation was spot on: everyone in the movie knows more about the mystery than he does, but he's the only one who cares. The mystery is pretty threadbare - Marlowe doesn't detect so much as end up in places and have people explain things to him. But I've seen it two or three times now, and it does linger.

Chinatown (rw) I confess I've always been impressed by Chinatown more than I've liked it. Its story structure is impeccable, its atmosphere is gorgeous, its noirish fatalism is raw and real, its deconstruction of the noir hero is well-observed, and it's full of clever detective tricks (the pocket watches, the tail light, the ruler). I've just never connected with it. Maybe it's a little too perfectly crafted. (I feel similar about Miller's Crossing.) And I've always been ambivalent about the ending. In Towne's original ending, Evelyn shoots Noah Cross dead and get arrested, and neither she nor Jake can tell the truth of why she did it, so she goes to jail for murder and her daughter is in the wind. Polansky proposed the ending that exists now, where Evelyn just dies, Cross wins, and Jake walks away devastated. It communicates the same thing: Jake's attempt to get smart and play all the sides off each other instead of just helping Evelyn escape blows up in his face at the expense of the woman he cares about and any sense of real justice. And it does this more dramatically and efficiently than Towne's original ending. But it also treats Evelyn as narratively disposable, and hands the daughter over to the man who raped Evelyn and murdered her husband. It makes the women suffer more to punch up the ending. But can I honestly say that Towne's ending is the better one? It is thematically equal, dramatically inferior, but would distract me less. Not sure what the calculus comes out to there. Maybe there should be a third option. Anyway! A perfect little contraption. Belongs under a glass dome.

Night Moves (rw) Ah yeah, the good shit. This is my quintessential 70's noir. This is three movies in a row about detectives. Thing is, the classic era wasn't as chockablock with hardboiled detectives as we think; most of those movies starred criminals, cops, and boring dudes seduced to the darkness by a pair of legs. Gumshoes just left the strongest impressions. (The genre is said to begin with Maltese Falcon and end with Touch of Evil, after all.) So when the post-Code 70's decided to pick the genre back up while picking it apart, it makes sense that they went for the 'tecs first. The Long Goodbye dragged the 30's detective into the 70's, and Chinatown went back to the 30's with a 70's sensibility. But Night Moves was about detecting in the Watergate era, and how that changed the archetype. Harry Moseby is the detective so obsessed with finding the truth that he might just ruin his life looking for it, like the straight story will somehow fix everything that's broken, like it'll bring back a murdered teenager and repair his marriage and give him a reason to forgive the woman who fucked him just to distract him from some smuggling. When he's got time to kill, he takes out a little, magnetic chess set and recreates a famous old game, where three knight moves (get it?) would have led to a beautiful checkmate had the player just seen it. He keeps going, self-destructing, because he can't stand the idea that the perfect move is there if he can just find it. And, no matter how much we see it destroy him, we, the audience, want him to keep going; we expect a satisfying resolution to the mystery. That's what we need from a detective picture; one character flat-out compares Harry to Sam Spade. But what if the truth is just... Watergate? Just some prick ruining things for selfish reasons? Nothing grand, nothing satisfying. Nothing could be more noir, or more neo-, than that.

Farewell, My Lovely Sometimes the only thing that makes a noir neo- is that it's in color and all the blood, tits, and racism from the books they're based on get put back in. This second stab at Chandler is competant but not much more than that. Mitchum works as Philip Marlowe, but Chandler's dialogue feels off here, like lines that worked on the page don't work aloud, even though they did when Bogie said them. I'll chalk it up to workmanlike but uninspired direction. (Dang this looks bland so soon after Chinatown.) Moose Malloy is a great character, and perfectly cast. (Wasn't sure at first, but it's true.) Some other interesting cats show up and vanish - the tough brothel madam based on Brenda Allen comes to mind, though she's treated with oddly more disdain than most of the other hoods and is dispatched quicker. In general, the more overt racism and misogyny doesn't seem to do anything except make the movie "edgier" than earlier attempts at the same material, and it reads kinda try-hard. But it mostly holds together. *shrug*

The Killing of a Chinese Bookie (dnrw) Didn't care for this at all. Can't tell if the script was treated as a jumping-off point or if the dialogue is 100% improvised, but it just drags on forever and is never that interesting. Keeps treating us to scenes from the strip club like they're the opera scenes in Amadeus, and, whatever, I don't expect burlesque to be Mozart, but Cosmo keeps saying they're an artful, classy joint, and I keep waiting for the show to be more than cheap, lazy camp. How do you make gratuitious nudity boring? Mind you, none of this is bad as a rule - I love digressions and can enjoy good sleaze, and it's clear the filmmakers care about what they're making. They just did not sell it in a way I wanted to buy. Can't remember what edit I watched; I hope it was the 135 minute one, because I cannot imagine there being a longer edit out there.

The American Friend (dnrw) It's weird that this is Patricia Highsmith, right? That Dennis Hopper is playing Tom Ripley? In a cowboy hat? I gather that Minghella's version wasn't true to the source, but I do love that movie, and this is a long, long way from that. This Mr. Ripley isn't even particularly talented! Anyway, this has one really great sequence, where a regular guy has been coerced by crooks into murdering someone on a train platform, and, when the moment comes to shoot, he doesn't. And what follows is a prolonged sequence of an amateur trying to surreptitiously tail a guy across a train station and onto another train, and all the while you're not sure... is he going to do it? is he going to chicken out? is he going to do it so badly he gets caught? It's hard not to put yourself in the protagonist's shoes, wondering how you would handle the situation, whether you could do it, whether you could act on impulse before your conscience could catch up with you. It drags on a long while and this time it's a good thing. Didn't much like the rest of the movie, it's shapeless and often kind of corny, and the central plot hook is contrived. (It's also very weird that this is the only Wim Wenders I've seen.) But, hey, I got one excellent sequence, not gonna complain.

The Big Sleep Unlike the 1946 film, I can follow the plot of this Big Sleep. But, also unlike the 1946 version, this one isn't any damn fun. Mitchum is back as Marlowe (this is three Marlowes in five years, btw), and this time it's set in the 70's and in England, for some reason. I don't find this offensive, but neither do I see what it accomplishes? Most of the cast is still American. (Hi Jimmy!) Still holds together, but even less well than Farewell, My Lovely. But I do find it interesting that the neo-noir era keeps returning to Chandler while it's pretty much left Hammet behind (inasmuch as someone whose genes are spread wide through the whole genre can be left behind). Spade and the Continental Op, straightshooting tough guys who come out on top in the end, seem antiquated in the (post-)modern era. But Marlowe's goodness being out of sync with the world around him only seems more poignant the further you take him from his own time. Nowadays you can really only do Hammett as pastiche, but I sense that you could still play Chandler straight.

Eyes of Laura Mars The most De Palma movie I've seen not made by De Palma, complete with POV shots, paranormal hoodoo, and fixation with sex, death, and whether images of such are art or exploitation (or both). Laura Mars takes photographs of naked women in violent tableux, and has gotten quite famous doing so, but is it damaging to women? The movie has more than a superficial engagement with this topic, but only slightly more than superficial. Kept imagining a movie that is about 30% less serial killer story and 30% more art conversations. (But, then, I have an art degree and have never murdered anyone, so.) Like, museums are full of Biblical paintings full of nude women and slaughter, sometimes both at once, and they're called masterpieces. Most all of them were painted by men on commission from other men. Now Laura Mars makes similar images in modern trappings, and has models made of flesh and blood rather than paint, and it's scandalous? Why is it only controversial once women are getting paid for it? On the other hand, is this just the master's tools? Is she subverting or challenging the male gaze, or just profiting off of it? Or is a woman profiting off of it, itself, a subversion? Is it subversive enough to account for how it commodifies female bodies? These questions are pretty clearly relevant to the movie itself, and the movies in general, especially after the fall of the Hays Code when people were really unrestrained with the blood and boobies. And, heck, the lead is played by the star of Bonnie and Clyde! All this is to say: I wish the movie were as interested in these questions as I am. What's there is a mildly diverting B-picture. There's one great bit where Laura's seeing through the killer's eyes (that's the hook, she gets visions from the murderer's POV; no, this is never explained) and he's RIGHT BEHIND HER, so there's a chase where she charges across an empty room only able to see her own fleeing self from ten feet behind. That was pretty great! And her first kiss with the detective (because you could see a mile away that the detective and the woman he's supposed to protect are gonna fall in love) is immediately followed by the two freaking out about how nonsensical it is for them to fall in love with each other, because she's literally mourning multiple deaths and he's being wildly unprofessional, and then they go back to making out. That bit was great, too. The rest... enh.

The Onion Field What starts off as a seemingly not-that-noirish cops-vs-crooks procedural turns into an agonizingly protracted look at the legal system, with the ultimate argument that the very idea of the law ever resulting in justice is a lie. Hoo! I have to say, I'm impressed. There's a scene where a lawyer - whom I'm not sure is even named, he's like the seventh of thirteen we've met - literally quits the law over how long this court case about two guys shooting a cop has taken. He says the cop who was murdered has been forgotten, his partner has never gotten to move on because the case has lasted eight years, nothing has been accomplished, and they should let the two criminals walk and jail all the judges and lawyers instead. It's awesome! The script is loaded with digressions and unnecessary details, just the way I like it. Can't say I'm impressed with the execution. Nothing is wrong, exactly, but the performances all seem a tad melodramatic or a tad uninspired. Camerawork is, again, purely functional. It's no masterpiece. But that second half worked for me. (And it's Ted Danson's first movie! He did great.)

Body Heat (rw) Let's say up front that this is a handsomely-made movie. Probably the best looking thing on the list since Night Moves. Nothing I've seen better captures the swelter of an East Coast heatwave, or the lusty feeling of being too hot to bang and going at it regardless. Kathleen Turner sells the hell out of a femme fatale. There are a lot of good lines and good performances (Ted Danson is back and having the time of his life). I want to get all that out of the way, because this is a movie heavily modeled after Double Indemnity, and I wanted to discuss its merits before I get into why inviting that comparison doesn't help the movie out. In a lot of ways, it's the same rules as the Robert Mitchum Marlowe movies - do Double Indemnity but amp up the sex and violence. And, to a degree it works. (At least, the sex does, dunno that Double Indemnity was crying out for explosions.) But the plot is amped as well, and gets downright silly. Yeah, Mrs. Dietrichson seduces Walter Neff so he'll off her husband, but Neff clocks that pretty early and goes along with it anyway. Everything beyond that is two people keeping too big a secret and slowly turning on each other. But here? For the twists to work Matty has to be, from frame one, playing four-dimensional chess on the order of Senator Palpatine, and its about as plausible. (Exactly how did she know, after she rebuffed Ned, he would figure out her local bar and go looking for her at the exact hour she was there?) It's already kind of weird to be using the spider woman trope in 1981, but to make her MORE sexually conniving and mercenary than she was in the 40's is... not great. As lurid trash, it's pretty fun for a while, but some noir stuff can't just be updated, it needs to be subverted or it doesn't justify its existence.

Blow Out Brian De Palma has two categories of movie: he's got his mainstream, director-for-hire fare, where his voice is either reigned in or indulged in isolated sequences that don't always jive with the rest fo the film, and then there's his Brian De Palma movies. My mistake, it seems, is having seen several for-hires from throughout his career - The Untouchables (fine enough), Carlito's Way (ditto, but less), Mission: Impossible (enh) - but had only seen De Palma-ass movies from his late period (Femme Fatale and The Black Dahlia, both of which I think are garbage). All this to say: Blow Out was my first classic-era De Palma, and holy fucking shit dudes. This was (with caveats) my absolute and entire jam. I said I could enjoy good sleaze, and this is good friggin' sleaze. (Though far short of De Palma at his sleaziest, mercifully.) The splitscreens, the diopter shots, the canted angles, how does he make so many shlocky things work?! John Travolta's sound tech goes out to get fresh wind fx for the movie he's working on, and we get this wonderful sequence of visuals following sounds as he turns his attention and his microphone to various noises - a couple on a walk, a frog, an owl, a buzzing street lamp. Later, as he listens back to the footage, the same sequence plays again, but this time from his POV; we're seeing his memory as guided by the same sequence of sounds, now recreated with different shots, as he moves his pencil in the air mimicking the microphone. When he mixes and edits sounds, we hear the literal soundtrack of the movie we are watching get mixed and edited by the person on screen. And as he tries to unravel a murder mystery, he uses what's at hand: magnetic tape, flatbed editors, an animation camera to turn still photos from the crime scene into a film and sync it with the audio he recorded; it's forensics using only the tools of the editing room. As someone who's spent some time in college editing rooms, this is a hoot and a half. Loses a bit of steam as it goes on and the film nerd stuff gives way to a more traditional thriller, but rallies for a sound-tech-centered final setpiece, which steadily builds to such madcap heights you can feel the air thinning, before oddly cutting its own tension and then trying to build it back up again. It doesn't work as well the second time. But then, that shot right after the climax? Damn. Conflicted on how the movie treats the female lead. I get why feminist film theorists are so divided on De Palma. His stuff is full of things feminists (rightly) criticize, full of women getting naked when they're not getting stabbed, but he also clearly finds women fascinating and has them do empowered and unexpected things, and there are many feminist reads of his movies. Call it a mixed bag. But even when he's doing tropey shit, he explores the tropes in unexpected ways. Definitely the best movie so far that I hadn't already seen.

Cutter's Way (rw) Alex Cutter is pitched to us as an obnoxious-but-sympathetic son of a bitch, and, you know, two out of three ain't bad. Watched this during my 2020 neo-noir kick and considered skipping it this time because I really didn't enjoy it. Found it a little more compelling this go around, while being reminded of why my feelings were room temp before. Thematically, I'm onboard: it's about a guy, Cutter, getting it in his head that he's found a murderer and needs to bring him to justice, and his friend, Bone, who intermittently helps him because he feels bad that Cutter lost his arm, leg, and eye in Nam and he also feels guilty for being in love with Cutter's wife. The question of whether the guy they're trying to bring down actually did it is intentionally undefined, and arguably unimportant; they've got personal reasons to see this through. Postmodern and noirish, fixated with the inability to ever fully know the truth of anything, but starring people so broken by society that they're desperate for certainty. (Pretty obvious parallels to Vietnam.) Cutter's a drunk and kind of an asshole, but understandably so. Bone's shiftlessness is the other response to a lack of meaning in the world, to the point where making a decision, any decision, feels like character growth, even if it's maybe killing a guy whose guilt is entirely theoretical. So, yeah, I'm down with all of this! A- in outline form. It's just that Cutter is so uninterestingly unpleasant and no one else on screen is compelling enough to make up for it. His drunken windups are tedious and his sanctimonious speeches about what the war was like are, well, true and accurate but also obviously manipulative. It's two hours with two miserable people, and I think Cutter's constant chatter is supposed to be the comic relief but it's a little too accurate to drunken rambling, which isn't funny if you're not also drunk. He's just tedious, irritating, and periodically racist. Pass.

Blood Simple (rw) I'm pretty cool on the Coens - there are things I've liked, even loved, in every Coen film I've seen, but I always come away dissatisfied. For a while, I kept going to their movies because I was sure eventually I'd love one without qualification. No Country for Old Men came close, the first two acts being master classes in sustained tension. But then the third act is all about denying closure: the protagonist is murdered offscreen, the villain's motives are never explained, and it ends with an existentialist speech about the unfathomable cruelty of the world. And it just doesn't land for me. The archness of the Coen's dialogue, the fussiness of their set design, the kinda-intimate, kinda-awkward, kinda-funny closeness of the camera's singles, it cannot sell me on a devastating meditation about meaninglessness. It's only ever sold me on the Coens' own cleverness. And that archness, that distancing, has typified every one of their movies I've come close to loving. Which is a long-ass preamble to saying, holy heck, I was not prepared for their very first movie to be the one I'd been looking for! I watched it last year and it remains true on rewatch: Blood Simple works like gangbusters. It's kind of Double Indemnity (again) but played as a comedy of errors, minus the comedy: two people romantically involved feeling their trust unravel after a murder. And I think the first thing that works for me is that utter lack of comedy. It's loaded with the Coens' trademark ironies - mostly dramatic in this case - but it's all played straight. Unlike the usual lead/femme fatale relationship, where distrust brews as the movie goes on, the audience knows the two main characters can trust each other. There are no secret duplicitous motives waiting to be revealed. The audience also know why they don't trust each other. (And it's all communicated wordlessly, btw: a character enters a scene and we know, based on the information that character has, how it looks to them and what suspicions it would arouse, even as we know the truth of it). The second thing that works is, weirdly, that the characters aren't very interesting?! Ray and Abby have almost no characterization. Outside of a general likability, they are blank slates. This is a weakness in most films, but, given the agonizingly long, wordless sequences where they dispose of bodies or hide from gunfire, you're left thinking not "what will Ray/Abby do in this scenario," because Ray and Abby are relatively elemental and undefined, but "what would I do in this scenario?" Which creates an exquisite tension but also, weirdly, creates more empathy than I feel for the Coens' usual cast of personalities. It's supposed to work the other way around! Truly enjoyable throughout but absolutely wonderful in the suspenseful-as-hell climax. Good shit right here.

Body Double The thing about erotic thrillers is everything that matters is in the name. Is it thrilling? Is it erotic? Good; all else is secondary. De Palma set out to make the most lurid, voyeuristic, horny, violent, shocking, steamy movie he could come up with, and its success was not strictly dependent on the lead's acting ability or the verisimilitude of the plot. But what are we, the modern audience, to make of it once 37 years have passed and, by today's standards, the eroticism is quite tame and the twists are no longer shocking? Then we're left with a nonsensical riff on Vertigo, a specularization of women that is very hard to justify, and lead actor made of pulped wood. De Palma's obsessions don't cohere into anything more this time; the bits stolen from Hitchcock aren't repurposed to new ends, it really is just Hitch with more tits and less brains. (I mean, I still haven't seen Vertigo, but I feel 100% confident in that statement.) The diopter shots and rear-projections this time look cheap (literally so, apparently; this had 1/3 the budget of Blow Out). There are some mildly interesting setpieces, but nothing compared to Travolta's auditory reconstructions or car chase where he tries to tail a subway train from street level even if it means driving through a frickin parade like an inverted French Connection, goddamn Blow Out was a good movie! Anyway. Melanie Griffith seems to be having fun, at least. I guess I had a little as well, but it was, at best, diverting, and a real letdown.

The Hit Surprised by how much I enjoyed this one. Terrance Stamp flips on the mob and spends ten years living a life of ease in Spain, waiting for the day they find and kill him. Movie kicks off when they do find him, and what follows is a ramshackle road movie as John Hurt and a young Tim Roth attempt to drive him to Paris so they can shoot him in front of his old boss. Stamp is magnetic. He's spent a decade reading philosophy and seems utterly prepared for death, so he spends the trip humming, philosophizing, and being friendly with his captors when he's not winding them up. It remains unclear to the end whether the discord he sews between Roth and Hurt is part of some larger plan of escape or just for shits and giggles. There's also a decent amount of plot for a movie that's not terribly plot-driven - just about every part of the kidnapping has tiny hitches the kidnappers aren't prepared for, and each has film-long repercussions, drawing the cops closer and somehow sticking Laura del Sol in their backseat. The ongoing questions are when Stamp will die, whether del Sol will die, and whether Roth will be able to pull the trigger. In the end, it's actually a meditation on ethics and mortality, but in a quiet and often funny way. It's not going to go down as one of my new favs, but it was a nice way to spend a couple hours.

Trouble in Mind (dnrw) I fucking hated this movie. It's been many months since I watched it, do I remember what I hated most? Was it the bit where a couple of country bumpkins who've come to the city walk into a diner and Mr. Bumpkin clocks that the one Black guy in the back as obviously a criminal despite never having seen him before? Was it the part where Kris Kristofferson won't stop hounding Mrs. Bumpkin no matter how many times she demands to be left alone, and it's played as romantic because obviously he knows what she needs better than she does? Or is it the part where Mr. Bumpkin reluctantly takes a job from the Obvious Criminal (who is, in fact, a criminal, and the only named Black character in the movie if I remember correctly, draw your own conclusions) and, within a week, has become a full-blown hood, which is exemplified by a lot, like, a lot of queer-coding? The answer to all three questions is yes. It's also fucking boring. Even out-of-drag Divine's performance as the villain can't save it.

Manhunter 'sfine? I've still never seen Silence of the Lambs, nor any of the Hopkins Lecter movies, nor, indeed, any full episode of the show. So the unheimlich others get seeing Brian Cox play Hannibal didn't come into play. Cox does a good job with him, but he's barely there. Shame, cuz he's the most interesting part of the movie. Honestly, there's a lot of interesting stuff that's barely there. Will Graham being a guy who gets into the heads of serial killers is explored well enough, and Mann knows how to direct a police procedural such that it's both contemplative and propulsive. But all the other themes it points at? Will's fear that he understands murderers a little too well? Hannibal trying to nudge him towards becoming one? Whatever dance Hannibal and Tooth Fairy are doing? What Tooth Fairy's deal is, anyway? (Why does he wear fake teeth and bite things? Why is he fixated on the red dragon? Does the bit where he says "Francis is gone forever" mean he has DID?) None of it goes anywhere or amounts to anything. I mean, it's certainly more interesting with this stuff than without, but it has that feel of a book that's been pared of its interesting bits to fit the runtime (or, alternately, pulp that's been sloppily elevated). I still haven't made my mind up on Mann's cold, precise camera work, but at least it gives me something to look at. It's fine! This is fine.

Mona Lisa (rw) Gave this one another shot. Bob Hoskins is wonderful as a hood out of his depth in classy places, quick to anger but just as quick to let anger go (the opening sequence where he's screaming on his ex-wife's doorstep, hurling trash cans at her house, and one minute later thrilled to see his old car, is pretty nice). And Cathy Tyson's working girl is a subtler kind of fascinating, exuding a mixture of coldness and kindness. It's just... this is ultimately a story about how heartbreaking it is when the girl you like is gay, right? It's Weezer's Pink Triangle: The Movie. It's not homophobic, exactly - Simone isn't demonized for being a lesbian - but it's still, like, "man, this straight white guy's pain is so much more interesting than the Black queer sex worker's." And when he's yelling "you woulda done it!" at the end, I can't tell if we're supposed to agree with him. Seems pretty clear that she wouldn'ta done it, at least not without there being some reveal about her character that doesn't happen, but I don't think the ending works if we don't agree with him, so... I'm like 70% sure the movie does Simone dirty there. For the first half, their growing relationship feels genuine and natural, and, honestly, the story being about a real bond that unfortunately means different things to each party could work if it didn't end with a gun and a sock in the jaw. Shape feels jagged as well; what feels like the end of the second act or so turns out to be the climax. And some of the symbolism is... well, ok, Simone gives George money to buy more appropriate clothes for hanging out in high end hotels, and he gets a tan leather jacket and a Hawaiian shirt, and their first proper bonding moment is when she takes him out for actual clothes. For the rest of the movie he is rocking double-breasted suits (not sure I agree with the striped tie, but it was the eighties, whaddya gonna do?). Then, in the second half, she sends him off looking for her old streetwalker friend, and now he looks completely out of place in the strip clubs and bordellos. So far so good. But then they have this run-in where her old pimp pulls a knife and cuts George's arm, so, with his nice shirt torn and it not safe going home (I guess?) he starts wearing the Hawaiian shirt again. So around the time he's starting to realize he doesn't really belong in Simone's world or the lowlife world he came from anymore, he's running around with the classy double-breasted suit jacket over the garish Hawaiian shirt, and, yeah, bit on the nose guys. Anyway, it has good bits, I just feel like a movie that asks me to feel for the guy punching a gay, Black woman in the face needs to work harder to earn it. Bit of wasted talent.

The Bedroom Window Starts well. Man starts an affair with his boss' wife, their first night together she witnesses an attempted murder from his window, she worries going to the police will reveal the affair to her husband, so the man reports her testimony to the cops claiming he's the one who saw it. Young Isabelle Huppert is the perfect woman for a guy to risk his career on a crush over, and Young Steve Guttenberg is the perfect balance of affability and amorality. And it flows great - picks just the right media to res. So then he's talking to the cops, telling them what she told him, and they ask questions he forgot to ask her - was the perp's jacket a blazer or a windbreaker? - and he has to guess. Then he gets called into the police lineup, and one guy matches her description really well, but is it just because he's wearing his red hair the way she described it? He can't be sure, doesn't finger any of them. He finds out the cops were pretty certain about one of the guys, so he follows the one he thinks it was around, looking for more evidence, and another girl is attacked right outside a bar he knows the redhead was at. Now he's certain! But he shows the boss' wife the guy and she's not certain, and she reminds him they don't even know if the guy he followed is the same guy the police suspected! And as he feeds more evidence to the cops, he has to lie more, because he can't exactly say he was tailing the guy around the city. So, I'm all in now. Maybe it's because I'd so recently rewatched Night Moves and Cutter's Way, but this seems like another story about uncertainty. He's really certain about the guy because it fits narratively, and we, the audience, feel the same. But he's not actually a witness, he doesn't have actual evidence, he's fitting bits and pieces together like a conspiracy theorist. He's fixating on what he wants to be true. Sign me up! But then it turns out he's 100% correct about who the killer is but his lies are found out and now the cops think he's the killer and I realize, oh, no, this movie isn't nearly as smart as I thought it was. Egg on my face! What transpires for the remaining half of the runtime is goofy as hell, and someone with shlockier sensibilities could have made a meal of it, but Hanson, despite being a Corman protege, takes this silliness seriously in the all wrong ways. Next!

Homicide (rw? I think I saw most of this on TV one time) Homicide centers around the conflicted loyalties of a Jewish cop. It opens with the Jewish cop and his white gentile partner taking over a case with a Black perp from some Black FBI agents. The media is making a big thing about the racial implications of the mostly white cops chasing down a Black man in a Black neighborhood. And inside of 15 minutes the FBI agent is calling the lead a k*ke and the gentile cop is calling the FBI agent a f****t and there's all kinds of invective for Black people. The film is announcing its intentions out the gate: this movie is about race. But the issue here is David Mamet doesn't care about race as anything other than a dramatic device. He's the Ubisoft of filmmakers, having no coherent perspective on social issues but expecting accolades for even bringing them up. Mamet is Jewish (though lead actor Joe Mantegna definitely is not) but what is his position on the Jewish diaspora? The whole deal is Mantegna gets stuck with a petty homicide case instead of the big one they just pinched from the Feds, where a Jewish candy shop owner gets shot in what looks like a stickup. Her family tries to appeal to his Jewishness to get him to take the case seriously, and, after giving them the brush-off for a long time, finally starts following through out of guilt, finding bits and pieces of what may or may not be a conspiracy, with Zionist gun runners and underground neo-Nazis. But, again: all of these are just dramatic devices. Mantegna's Jewishness (those words will never not sound ridiculous together) has always been a liability for him as a cop (we are told, not shown), and taking the case seriously is a reclamation of identity. The Jews he finds community with sold tommyguns to revolutionaries during the founding of Israel. These Jews end up blackmailing him to get a document from the evidence room. So: what is the film's position on placing stock in one's Jewish identity? What is its position on Israel? What is its opinion on Palestine? Because all three come up! And the answer is: Mamet doesn't care. You can read it a lot of different ways. Someone with more context and more patience than me could probably deduce what the de facto message is, the way Chris Franklin deduced the de facto message of Far Cry V despite the game's efforts not to have one, but I'm not going to. Mantegna's attempt to reconnect with his Jewishness gets his partner killed, gets the guy he was supposed to bring in alive shot dead, gets him possibly permanent injuries, gets him on camera blowing up a store that's a front for white nationalists, and all for nothing because the "clues" he found (pretty much exclusively by coincidence) were unconnected nothings. The problem is either his Jewishness, or his lifelong failure to connect with his Jewishness until late in life. Mamet doesn't give a shit. (Like, Mamet canonically doesn't give a shit: he is on record saying social context is meaningless, characters only exist to serve the plot, and there are no deeper meanings in fiction.) Mamet's ping-pong dialogue is fun, as always, and there are some neat ideas and characters, but it's all in service of a big nothing that needed to be a something to work.

Swoon So much I could talk about, let's keep it to the most interesting bits. Hommes Fatales: a thing about classic noir that it was fascinated by the marginal but had to keep it in the margins. Liberated women, queer-coded killers, Black jazz players, broke thieves; they were the main event, they were what audiences wanted to see, they were what made the movies fun. But the ending always had to reassert straightlaced straight, white, middle-class male society as unshakeable. White supremacist capitalist patriarchy demanded, both ideologically and via the Hays Code, that anyone outside these norms be punished, reformed, or dead by the movie's end. The only way to make them the heroes was to play their deaths for tragedy. It is unsurprising that neo-noir would take the queer-coded villains and make them the protagonists. Implicature: This is the story of Leopold and Loeb, murderers famous for being queer, and what's interesting is how the queerness in the first half exists entirely outside of language. Like, it's kind of amazing for a movie from 1992 to be this gay - we watch Nathan and Dickie kiss, undress, masturbate, fuck; hell, they wear wedding rings when they're alone together. But it's never verbalized. Sex is referred to as "your reward" or "what you wanted" or "best time." Dickie says he's going to have "the girls over," and it turns out "the girls" are a bunch of drag queens, but this is never acknowledged. Nathan at one point lists off a bunch of famous men - Oscar Wild, E.M. Forster, Frederick the Great - but, though the commonality between them is obvious (they were all gay), it's left the the audience to recognize it. When their queerness is finally verbalized in the second half, it's first in the language of pathology - a psychiatrist describing their "perversions" and "misuse" of their "organs" before the court, which has to be cleared of women because it's so inappropriate - and then with slurs from the man who murders Dickie in jail (a murder which is written off with no investigation because the victim is a gay prisoner instead of a L&L's victim, a child of a wealthy family). I don't know if I'd have noticed this if I hadn't read Chip Delany describing his experience as a gay man in the 50's existing almost entirely outside of language, the only language at the time being that of heteronormativity. Murder as Love Story: L&L exchange sex as payment for the other commiting crimes; it's foreplay. Their statements to the police where they disagree over who's to blame is a lover's quarrel. Their sentencing is a marriage. Nathan performs his own funeral rites over Dickie's body after he dies on the operating table. They are, in their way, together til death did they part. This is the relationship they can have. That it does all this without romanticizing the murder itself or valorizing L&L as humans is frankly incredible.

Suture (rw) The pitch: at the funeral for his father, wealthy Vincent Towers meets his long lost half brother Clay Arlington. It is implied Clay is a child from out of wedlock, possibly an affair; no one knows Vincent has a half-brother but him and Clay. Vincent invites Clay out to his fancy-ass home in Arizona. Thing is, Vincent is suspected (correctly) by the police of having murdered his father, and, due to a striking family resemblence, he's brought Clay to his home to fake his own death. He finagles Clay into wearing his clothes and driving his car, and then blows the car up and flees the state, leaving the cops to think him dead. Thing is, Clay survives, but with amnesia. The doctors tell him he's Vincent, and he has no reason to disagree. Any discrepancy in the way he looks is dismissed as the result of reconstructive surgery after the explosion. So Clay Arlington resumes Vincent Towers' life, without knowing Clay Arlington even exists. The twist: Clay and Vincent are both white, but Vincent is played by Michael Harris, a white actor, and Clay is played by Dennis Haysbert, a Black actor. "Ian, if there's just the two of them, how do you know it's not Harris playing a Black character?" Glad you asked! It is most explicitly obvious during a scene where Vincent/Clay's surgeon-cum-girlfriend essentially bringing up phrenology to explain how Vincent/Clay couldn't possibly have murdered his father, describing straight hair, thin lips, and a Greco-Roman nose Haysbert very clearly doesn't have. But, let's be honest: we knew well beforehand that the rich-as-fuck asshole living in a huge, modern house and living it up in Arizona high society was white. Though Clay is, canonically, white, he lives an poor and underprivileged life common to Black men in America. Though the film's title officially refers to the many stitches holding Vincent/Clay's face together after the accident, "suture" is a film theory term, referring to the way a film audience gets wrapped up - sutured - in the world of the movie, choosing to forget the outside world and pretend the story is real. The usage is ironic, because the audience cannot be sutured in; we cannot, and are not expected to, suspend our disbelief that Clay is white. We are deliberately distanced. Consequently this is a movie to be thought about, not to to be felt. It has the shape of a Hitchcockian thriller but it can't evoke the emotions of one. You can see the scaffolding - "ah, yes, this is the part of a thriller where one man hides while another stalks him with a gun, clever." I feel ill-suited to comment on what the filmmakers are saying about race. I could venture a guess about the ending, where the psychiatrist, the only one who knows the truth about Clay, says he can never truly be happy living the lie of being Vincent Towers, while we see photographs of Clay/Vincent seemingly living an extremely happy life: society says white men simply belong at the top more than Black men do, but, if the roles could be reversed, the latter would slot in seamlessly. Maybe??? Of all the movies in this collection, this is the one I'd most want to read an essay on (followed by Swoon).

The Last Seduction (dnrw) No, no, no, I am not rewataching this piece of shit movie.

Brick (rw) Here's my weird contention: Brick is in color and in widescreen, but, besides that? There's nothing neo- about this noir. There's no swearing except "hell." (I always thought Tug said "goddamn" at one point but, no, he's calling The Pin "gothed-up.") There's a lot of discussion of sex, but always through implication, and the only deleted scene is the one that removed ambiguity about what Brendan and Laura get up to after kissing. There's nothing postmodern or subversive - yes, the hook is it's set in high school, but the big twist is that it takes this very seriously. It mines it for jokes, yes, but the drama is authentic. In fact, making the gumshoe a high school student, his jadedness an obvious front, still too young to be as hard as he tries to be, just makes the drama hit harder. Sam Spade if Sam Spade were allowed to cry. I've always found it an interesting counterpoint to The Good German, a movie that fastidiously mimics the aesthetics of classic noir - down to even using period-appropriate sound recording - but is wholly neo- in construction. Brick could get approved by the Hays Code. Its vibe, its plot about a detective playing a bunch of criminals against each other, even its slang ("bulls," "yegg," "flopped") are all taken directly from Hammett. It's not even stealing from noir, it's stealing from what noir stole from! It's a perfect curtain call for the collection: the final film is both the most contemporary and the most classic. It's also - but for the strong case you could make for Night Moves - the best movie on the list. It's even more appropriate for me, personally: this was where it all started for me and noir. I saw this in theaters when it came out and loved it. It was probably my favorite movie for some time. It gave me a taste for pulpy crime movies which I only, years later, realized were neo-noir. This is why I looked into Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang and In Bruges. I've seen it more times than any film on this list, by a factor of at least 3. It's why I will always adore Rian Johnson and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. It's the best-looking half-million-dollar movie I've ever seen. (Indie filmmakers, take fucking notes.) I even did a script analysis of this, and, yes, it follows the formula, but so tightly and with so much style. Did you notice that he says several of the sequence tensions out loud? ("I just want to find her." "Show of hands.") I notice new things each time I see it - this time it was how "brushing Brendan's hair out of his face" is Em's move, making him look more like he does in the flashback, and how Laura does the same to him as she's seducing him, in the moment when he misses Em the hardest. It isn't perfect. It's recreated noir so faithfully that the Innocent Girl dies, the Femme Fatale uses intimacy as a weapon, and none of the women ever appear in a scene together. 1940's gender politics maybe don't need to be revisited. They say be critical of the media you love, and it applies here most of all: it is a real criticism of something I love immensely.

#film noir #neo-noir #criterion channel

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daddywright · 3 years

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I have only recently got into the ace attorney fandom, and this story was the first story I read, and I feel spoiled! I absolutely loved every chapter, so I'm gonna word vomit here and tell you everything I love about this!

"She offers him a smile. It’s small, tentative, but it possesses a strength that makes a hidden part of him twist and burn with quiet envy." the first time we see nick's wish to be as strong as mia!

Considering the fact that nick didn't have any prominent figure in his life, it makes sense that he would look up to gregory so much

"Phoenix looks up, and starts walking towards Mia Fey

He doesn't stop for two years."

THE RELATIONSHIP THAT MIA AND NICK HAD WAS PRECIOUS AND DESERVES MORE THAN WHAT THE FANDOM GIVES THEM

"Larry’s arms wrap around him, squeezing almost too tight" People forget that Larry and Phoenix were good friends too, and Larry would help his best friend

"Nobody believed him, nobody but Mia" Maya is what Phoenix is to Mia and I adore that

"He wishes, desperately, that he’d said it while she was still alive. I loved you. For everything you did." Not you absolutely breaking my fucking heart

Also the first AA game felt unnatural in the sense of how seemingly unaffected Phoenix seemed at Mia's murder so I'm really glad you wrote it this way

"Expensive. Thoughtful. Too much." SHUT UP NICK YOU DESERVE ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING

Also quick break to mention how I absolutely fucking love your writing style and i wish I was literally half as talented as you cuz the last time I read something that made me feel this multitude of emotions was ocean vuong. And I practically worship Ocean Vuong. So now I worship you too

"You're a stranger to me // When will I stop hoping?" I never really realised just how badly nick musta been hurt by good ol' bratworth before this fic, but now that I have read it, it would have hurt him so bad

"Is this why you never answered my letters? Because I was a reminder? Because it hurt too much?" Honestly what happened to miles and phoenix's friendship hurts so much because it should have never happened, and miles didn't deserve that.

"Maybe Miles Edgeworth is not the man he thought he’d be, either." yo when I tell you this hurt I mean this huRT

Fun fact! My birthday is on the same day as DL-6 anniversary. Gregory Edgeworth died on my birthday. I feel horrible now

"monster. You were nine years old and he's a monster. " No one has made me feel this much emotion for what happened to Miles in a single sentence other than you. I commend you for that

"I love you," he says quietly. He has never said those words to anyone, except for Dahlia Hawthorne.

Maya sniffs in his ear, crushing him tight. "I love you, too."

He has never heard them back.

PHOENIX HAS NEVER HEARD THE WORDS " I LOVE YOU" COME BACK TO HIM ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME WHY NOW I'M SAD

"Tell me everything. Every detail—" Miles is worried bout nick and why wouldn't he? gods you're so gay miles but tbf if I knew someone like nick irl i'd go ballistic too

"He determined the motive for his own assault...with amnesia. Naturally." My man's smart af and he is king

"Is that what she thinks of me? That I'm like that? That I don't care about who the bad guys really are?" Gumshoe noooo you're hella precious! Also this particular chapter was so well written! loved this soo much!

Also taking a minute to appreciate the pacing! Rarely do I ever come across an author who just hits that sweet spot of perfect pacing and you did! so thank you!

Alright so here are a few thoughts that I felt capcom needed to do which you did for us!

no. 1 - Address the trauma phoenix faced with not only dahlia but also with mia's death

no. 2 - Actually fucking flesh out a good relationship dynamic between larry and phoenix

no. 3 - actually! have! phoenix! be hurt! in bridge to turnabout! istg my man would not have dropped from a burning bridge to a freezing river only to have a cold

AUNT FRANZY AND PEARLS MAN!

THEY CUTE

ok so I have a LOT of feelings for bridge to turnabout and HOO BOY BUCKLE UP

So I always thought that in this fic, miles must have felt fucking awful! I mean he very clearly hates who he was and what that has led to but that must have been doubled over with this case! Phoenix would have died if not for mia and it would have been indirectly miles's fault. I think about that alot

Like he said that he very much regrets whatever he did as bratworth in the phone call with gumshoe but i don't think he anticipated this. poor edgeworth

Also I think this was the final nail in the coffin for miles. Phoenix forgave him, after all the fucked up shit miles did, and that made that man go "how is this guy so fucking compassionate awwwww shit I'm in fucking love with this idiotic brave man".

my main thoughts were "holy shit phoenix must have been feeling awful." like to learn that you were in love with a person who turned out to be a murderer but then not a murderer cuz everything you felt about that was real and just...... it must have hurt. He never fell in love with dahlia. it was iris, always. and WHAT ABOUT MILES DURING THIS!!! Like to learn that the man you love was falsely led to believe that he was in love with a person he rarely met and then learn that his ex who is not murderous might still be in love with him because "that was real. that part was real." like damn. people just gloss over this

also I feel terrible for iris F in the chat for iris lads.

Dahlia literally haunting that courtroom scene. I felt mia's power. I felt her desperation. I felt everything and I am once again in awe of the absolute power your writing holds.

also godsdamn pearls had to go through all that shit huh. also FRANMAYAAAAAA THANK YOUUUU

I too, am a hoe confused as to what I should feel towards diego.

Ok anyways we jump to disbarment now

"He just winks at her and says Maya has other talents, and if Mystic Maya overhears, she puffs up at him like the fish from the aquarium she saw once, the one with all the spikes and silly eyes."

you know what constantly amazes me? your ability to change tones so effortlessly. When writing from edgey's pov, the language is sophisticated. precise. when writing from pearly's pov your language is simplistic, child-like. from phoenix's pov it's natural. grounded

"She never knew anybody who made faces like him, growing up in Kurain, and it’s one of the things that makes him special." Yo phoenix is the most amazing uncle ever and we all know it ok he's brilliant

I'M RUNNING OUT OF CHARACTER LIMITS

PEARLY CALLING EDGEY AT FIRST SIGN OF TROUBLE I'M SOFFFFTTTT

“I think I did something really bad." trucy baby no it's not your fault

pearl and trucy bonding supremacy. my girls would fuck shit up

"She’d meant to do this properly, one day." Thank you for giving importance to maya's feelings. thank you for treating her like a real human being. thank you

“Everything that happened...for what? It’s only gotten people hurt. Pearly. Our mother.” Me. Me." I felt so bad for maya here. I wish I could tell you in precise words about how this exact framing of the sentence is what broke me. "me. me" maya deserved more, but mia did all she could

"What do scared kids need? ...Food." not you breaking my godsdamn heart again. phoenix just knows what's it like being a helpless child, and he'll be damned if he ever lets anyone face that again

“‘Course, Pearls,” he says reflexively, before frowning. “What for?” reflexively. if every man in the world could be like phoenix wright then the world would be worthy of the gods

"Another one?" give it 2 years edgey she'll be your daughter too

"after countless hours creating the man’s living space in his mind from the background snatches he’d seen in the man’s ridiculous video calls." NOT ONLY DO THEY VC FOR NO PARTICULAR REASON BUT ALSO MILES ACTUALLY SPENDS TIME TRYING TO RECREATE HIS ROOM?? BECAUSE HE WOULD ONE DAY LIKE TO BE IN IT??? good gods these bitches gay. good for them

"because just as day is light and night is dark, Phoenix Wright is an honorable man." damn straight. you love to see it (it being a 27+ year old man pining for another 27+ year old man)

also hey miles! how do you feel about the fact that the man you love changed his fucking major and degrees halfway through college just so he could see you again only for you to be incredibly rude to him and make him end up in jail! (i bully edgeworth cuz i love him)

"Wright finishes, shrugging like it’s nothing, like his commitment and belief isn’t the most extraordinary thing that Miles has ever faced." it's more than pining at this point. it's incredible faith and trust. Miles had someone who cared about him even after all those years despite him having changed so drastically, ofc he would be surprised. Miles loves phoenix and so do i.

also HOT DAMN YOU WRITING IS JUST * MWAH *

Also the whole segment where they kiss is just !!!!! miles wants! it's beautiful! THEY'RE IN LOVEEE

receiving poisonous bottles which your ex tried to kill you with. My man can't get a break huh

Miles being chivalrous and protective and absolutely stealing my godsdamn heart (and phoenix's too)!

Klavier being the absolute king that he is we stan

The hostage situation section? gods miles must have been terrified.

Phoenix not being able to promise pearly that he'd always come back home and miles hearing it and like... ouch. my heart. you didn't need to do that (but i love your for it)

GODS THE CLIMAX WITH KRISTOPH WAS SOOO SATISFYING AND LIKE MY MAN PHOENIX REALLY PUNCHED THAT BITCH HUH

klavier baby I am so sorry

ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL!

and thus my comment ends. I believe I have almost used up all of my commenting limits and i leave with these few parting words : HOLY SHIT YOUR AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU!

also I made a playlist on spotify for this fic! here's the link : https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3k8lRHiO8ZXQDLpiTUL7SN?si=fc3b35b4ab064867

gods this was long huh

GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY....WHERE DO I BEGIN...THE FACT THAT YOU BROKE THE CHARACTER LIMIT ON AO3 AND MADE A PLAYLIST? WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?

thank you so much for all the amazing things you said....i am crying on a Wednesday morning knowing my writing was appreciated this much. thank you!

#ask tag #long post #my fic #nymphietonkslupin

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yesterdoesart · 4 years

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⚖️ Saiban Superheroes AU ⚡️

(Updated Feb. 10, 2021) I'm RIDICULOUSLY excited to bring you all this AU, which both golden.ghostie and naribug (@zelandiangelo) of instagram helped on. Presenting Turnabout Heroes: An Ace Attorney Superhero AU!

Basically, this is an AU where basically everything is the same except some of the characters are superheroes/villains on the sides. I plan on writing a bit about how this affects the cases!

If you want to see more of this (or if you want to make content for this; I'd love to see it) I'm using #saiban superheroes to keep track of everything!

Singular references are below the cut because Tumblr keeps ruining my formatting. You can also find more info on the characters and designs under the cut bc I like symbolism :) There ARE spoilers for the trilogy and minor AAI/AAI2 spoilers though.

Each hero here has three powers: Two that they can do easily anytime, anywhere - a go-to. The third is what I'm calling a Trump Card. Trump Cards are powers that require a lot of energy and only work for short ammounts of time in one go. Think of it as a last resort that can change the course of a fight.

Phoenix Wright → Turnabout Terror

Powers: Super Strength & High Constitution. His super strength is inspired by the number of un-open-able doors Phoenix has barreled his way through. His high constitution is based on the sheer number of times Phoenix should have died, but did not. Trump Card: Negation. Turnabout Terror can briefly cancel out another person’s superpower. His Trump Card is based on how underestimated Phoenix is as a lawyer. Power negation felt like a neat way to characterize the way he’s able to get past his opponents tricks and catch them off their guard. Character Notes: Phoenix gained his powers after he ate the necklace during the trial of State v. Wright (2014). Contrary to the court’s belief, there was enough poison in Dahlia’s necklace remaining to theoretically kill Phoenix. Instead of this, though, the poison caused his powers to develop. Turnabout Terror’s name comes from the fact that he’s very good at saving the day when things seem like they’re at a loss. The design for his costume is based on Signal Blue from the Signal Samurai! I took a bit of inspiration from Power Rangers for his sleeves, as Signal Samurai give me that vibe, and I think that it gave the costume a cool modern twist. The emblems on the top are, of course, based on the Attorney Badge! I felt like adding the scale was too obvious though.

Maya Fey → Mystic

Powers: Perception Alteration & Fighting Skill. Perception alteration is inspired by the Magatama, which changes the way the user sees things - Granted, this is less in a literal sense, but I still found it fitting. Fighting skill is something I added that the Fey family would practice. They’d likely practice jujutsu - This is a Japanese martial art with a long history, and it is based on disarming & pinning, which I feel fits with the Fey family - You’d need to pin a medium without hurting them to conduct spirit severing. Trump Card: Channeling. Mystic is able to channel spirits and borrow their energy to unleash. This is almost directly from canon, but I added the part about harnessing energy. I felt that this fit best as a trump card as Maya usually channels Mia when the going gets rough. Character Notes: Mystic is a mantle that has been passed down generation to generation in the Fey Family, similar to how the title “Master of Kurain” is. Before Maya became Mystic, her sister Mia held the title. Before she became Mystic, Maya used the mantle “Fuji Senshi”, meaning “Wisteria Warrior” - This is a nod to her love of the Steel Samurai and Pink Princess. Speaking of Pink Princess, Mystic’s costume is based on the Pink Princess - I gave the design furisode and a side-part opening, like her. It’s also based on the Kurain and Hazakura training robes. Since the mantle is passed down, I imagine that while Pink Princess-esque is Maya’s special spin, all heroes who take the mantle of Mystic draw from Kurain tradition in their costume.

Miles Edgeworth → Glacieus

Powers: Ice & Impossible Mobility. Ice was the perfect power choice for Edgeworth, who’s noted for his cold stares and chilly demeanor. He can both create ice and freeze surfaces. Impossible mobility was chosen for his ability to roll with the punches in the courtroom - Even after he’s thrown completely off guard, he’s able to quickly recover and keep fighting. Trump Card: Checkmate. Glacieus can create a trap covering a square area. When his enemy falls or steps into it, it temporarily paralyzes them, rendering them unable to make any moves. This is based on his Logic Chess from Ace Attorney Investigations II, as this is his way of cornering people and getting them to give him the information and opportunities he needs. Notes: Miles’ powers were passed down to him by his father. In his family, powers are either passed down to the next generation as a right of passage or upon the death of the previous wielder. This factors in to Miles’ fears that he accidentally killed his father in the DL-6 incident. “Glacieus” is based off the word “Glacier” - An icy name for an icy hero. His design is based off of kamishimo, which is a type of Samurai formal wear. This is both a nod to the Steel Samurai and to his eloquence and formality. While most of the masks I created are blindfold-esque, this was a conscious decision for Glacieus, based on the concept of “Blind Justice”.

Franziska von Karma → Zenit

Powers: Weapon summoning & tracking. Franziska’s already a powerhouse in game with her whip, so it made sense to base her power on this. While she can summon other weapons, such as swords or knives, her whip is still her weapon of choice. Her tracking ability is based on the way she tracks Gumshoe in “Justice for All” - She can track people she’s met in person. Trump Card: Impossible Stamina. Zenit has the ability to push herself past her limit, unleashing extra power in a fight. This felt like an ideal Trump Card for her because Franziska is stubborn to a fault and refuses to give up - She always works extra hard to meet her own (and her family's) high standards. Notes: Zenit is German for “Zenith”, which refers to the time where something is most successful. Franziska strives for perfection, trying to prove her worthiness to her father and to herself, so it makes sense that her mantle would also boast this perfection. Her costume is based on Medieval German knights - Franziska is very much a fighter, so this felt fitting for her. It also fits because she, like Miles, is very tied to her honor, so I like the motif of a noble knight for her.

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youngbounty · 4 years

Text

So, I just found out that I was blocked from @awardsaa. I can only guess it was because of my Gumshoe campaign poster that called Franziska a “bitch.”

I will still hold my ground, especially since I was blocked before I made the reblog stating that I would. The word “bitch” is not sexist by itself. It still astounds me that it became a sexist word two days ago, because of some Franziska hate mob I never heard of or saw. I made it clear when posting the campaign poster that I LOVE Franziska. I used the word for fun and no one should preach to me, a 29 year old woman, on how I should speak the word or what is considered “sexist.” That is downright censorship, if I cannot be allowed to use a word on the opposing character. I think this whole thing with the Anti “Don’t call Franziska a bitch” got way overblown. @awardsaa never contacted me personally about it and even reblogged my campaign poster on their post. There was literally no problem before this whole thing blew up and I’m very disappointed. If they wanted me to take it down, they just had to message me. I would’ve taken it down. I did have a disagreement with two other users on how I presented the word “bitch,” but only one got heated and we stopped immediately. I honestly cannot find a reason for why I was blocked other than the stupid poster they never discussed with me about.

I’m going to still submit campaign posters for the rest of you that want to vote. I wish people here warn me before blocking or banning me from commenting. I’m even finding users that have blocked me that I’ve never met before. The whole “block someone without telling them or discussing” was once considered a very shitting thing to do only several years ago and I still consider it shitty. You don’t block people unless they are harassing you. I’ve never harassed anyone. If they wanted me to stop commenting, I’d stop. I’m a human being, not a program you can delete. This goes for everyone else that has blocked me. If I critique your post and you don’t like it, just tell me to stop or warn me, if I’m going too far. I will stop.

Honestly, I shouldn’t have to say this. You don’t block people, unless they are harassing you. I feel like Tumblr still suffers from the same gatekeeping mentality. So, it’s okay to call Godot “sexist” for calling out Franziska, but heaven forbid you call Franziska a “bitch,” you’re the sexist? Even though she has called many characters out for shit they didn’t even do? Whipping them even? I love Franziska and always will, but I am smelling hypocracy and this is getting rediulous. Let’s love and hate what we want to love and hate. This also includes having the right to call your beloved characters a bitch, asshole or other general insults. There isn’t and should be nothing wrong with it. What is the issue, if you both love the same character?

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turnaboutimagines · 5 years

Note

Hello! This is kinda spoilery but could you please do some headcanons for Wright and Edgeworth’s SO (you can pick whether it’s poly or separate) getting kidnapped and will only be set free if a client gets a Not Guilty verdict? Like what happened to Maya in Farewell, My Turnabout. Also, I love your writing!

Thank you very much for the kind words, pal! And for sending in such an interesting request, too! 💚 I had a lot of fun thinking about how they’d handle a second instance of a loved one getting kidnapped. Since you gave me the choice, I went ahead and did poly since I had yet to write for that on this blog! ^^ Because you didn’t specify I went ahead and did a triad style polycule (i.e., all members are in romantic relationships w/ each other!) and set it after Phoenix gets his attorney’s badge back since that’s just where my mind immediately went!Feat. Wrightworth/Narumitsu x Reader

You’re targeted because of Miles’s position as Chief Prosecutor. It’s a direct attack on his attempt at reforming Los Angeles’s justice system, trying to turn Edgeworth’s blade of fighting corruption against him. Likely in an attempt to cause him to lose his position.

Of course, he does not stand for this foolishness for one moment. He’s bound and determined to get you back, while also insuring that such corrupt individuals get their due punishment by standing beside the bench again, himself. This isn’t going to be a repeat of De Killer…

However, he plays along with the kidnapper’s orders for the time being and manages to convince them to allow Phoenix Wright as the defense attorney.

After all, that’s the easiest way to insure that the correct verdict is given and they can get their partner back, is it not?

Besides, they’d be hard-pressed to find a better defense attorney than the legendary Phoenix Wright… even if Engarde did get the Guilty verdict all those years ago. This time would be different.

It’s not technically a lie, because Miles is involved in it from the start this time. The verdict itself won’t be different, however. But they don’t need to know that.

There’s only one defense attorney he trusts with his entire heart and soul…and he just so happens to have very similar stakes in this matter as far as you’re concerned.

He calls Phoenix about an emergency and heads home immediately after, white knuckling it through traffic as he figures out how to break this news to his partner.

He ends up being straight forward, not softening any of it as he recounts the call nearly verbatim to him. There’s a light tremor to his voice, half of worry for your well-being and half from rage… and perhaps some frustration with himself at the fact that you’d gotten kidnapped from right under their noses.

Phoenix blanches, but he listens to everything as best as he can.

The idea of defending another person like Engarde doesn’t sit well at all with Phoenix and… neither does the fact that they have you.

Just how unlucky is he for his best friend and, now, one of his partners to be kidnapped like this?

However, he knows that he has to do this. For Miles, for you… and for Trucy, too.

But he pulls him into an embrace and gives him that reassuring smile of his, gently cupping the sides of his face with his hands as he gently bumps their foreheads together.

Quietly reminding him that it’s in times like this that they need to smile the most. There’s a light tremor in his voice too, though.

Miles leans into the touch and presses a kiss to one of his wrists, reassuring and grateful, before pressing a proper kiss to his lips.

When Trucy comes home from school, she finds her fathers talking over hushed whispers.

Phoenix is the one to tell her that her third parent is currently kidnapped, but that they’re going to get you back. No matter what.

Believing that she’s lost both of her biological parents, the news hits too close to home and her smile falters.

They’re both quick to pull her into a tight hug between them. Phoenix leans down to place a kiss on her temple, murmuring words of comfort, while Miles silently rubs her back.

They share a look, resolve only strengthened to bring you back home safe and sound.

Things are tense in the courtroom, Miles is reliant upon Gumshoe to keep his investigation into your whereabouts covert. It’s hard to navigate and the defendant and kidnapper catch on as the trial drags on… and tensions rise between Miles and Phoenix as the risk to your well-being intensifies.

This is stressful on them both, arguments occur behind closed doors and they briefly slip back into referring to each other on a last name basis when alone.

Edgeworth is irritable and guilt laden, while Phoenix is anxious and frustrated. Trucy withdraws, throwing herself into practicing her act until you come back home.

But, like with Maya, you’re recovered just in the nick of time. Exhausted, starving, traumatized, and a bit bruised… but alive and the Guilty verdict is handed down and all is mended between your partners.

Once they’re able to see you again in person, you’re immediately brought into a huge group hug with both of your significant others and daughter. Everyone’s crying at the reunion, all glad to be reunited and that the worst is over.

You stay at the hospital for a couple of nights after and they take turns spending it with you, neither wanting you to be left alone after everything.

Trucy spends as much time as she can with you, too, doing magic tricks with you in the hospital to cheer you up.

After you’re back from the hospital, they both manage to take time off of work to help you recover and feel safe in your own home again. You are thoroughly spoiled by the both of them, to say the least.

Miles brews you your favorite tea and will read to you as much as you like, treating you to as many kisses on the forehead and knuckles as he possibly can.

All while hovering around you like a mother hen to make sure all your needs are being met.

Is it too hot in here? Do you have enough pillows? Are you hungry or thirsty?

Phoenix makes it his personal mission to get you to smile and laugh as much as he can while giving you all the cuddles and kisses—he’s practically always got at least one arm around you.

Dorking around and making teasing remarks at Miles when he’s being a bit too smothering with his concerns (even if Phoenix can be just as bad).

Miles is not amused, of course, but his reactions often are what make you laugh the most.

If you enjoy card games, he’ll play games against you during the day and manage to bribe Miles into joining you with some kisses.

Trucy will insert herself whenever she’s home and you play them. She’ll bust out UNO, specifically, and wreck her papa’s hand with it every single time, much to Edgeworth’s chagrin and yours and Phoenix’s amusement.

At night, you get the coveted position of middle spoon with their arms wrapped securely around you and kisses pressed to your face and neck.

And best of all… family cuddles!!! When Trucy gets home from school, the four of you group up on the couch and watch some Steel Samurai all together.

You’re in the middle with Miles’s and Phoenix’s arms around you with Trucy seated in your lap (sure she’s not as small as she used to be, but she won’t settle for anything else!).

After a few days, they return to work and life in the Wright and Edgeworth household settles back into a relative state of normalcy.

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mrslittletall · 4 years

Text

Now that I played through the Phoenix Wright Trilogy, it is time to rate it! Graphics The graphics are painted backgrounds as well as hand drawn character models with different expressions/tiny animations. They are pleasing to look at and never feel out of place. For a game that released first on the GBA, they are surprisingly clean. I have no qualms with the graphics whatsoever. I love that, to this day, the character animations from the courtroom are used in animations where stuff gets debated. Sound and Music The music is fantastic, though I have to say, the one of the first title is the best and feels like the most iconic, especially the Objection theme, which is even used as part of the main menu theme for the trilogy. The first title has a lot of songs that are so nice to listen too, the court theme, the objection theme, the cornered theme is godlike and even the music outside of the court is fun, especially the theme song for the easy go lucky characters, like Lotta Hart. The other titles declined a bit, I think the music is a bit too somber and sounds too serious and the objection theme, while still remixing the first one, just doesn’t have the same impact. The second title has a fantastic new theme for the Search Core situation, used for a villainous reveal, but the third title kinda ruined it by using it EVERYWHERE. I kid you not, that theme played like... a 50 times or so, while it only was used for a certain character in the second one. The sound effects are fine. The blips of the text aren’t annoying and the way the text is sometimes written faster or slower got a good impression how fast or slow a person was talking. I liked that some of the sound effects from court were sometimes used in the dialogues to convey certain emotions also. Gameplay The game is a mix of a visual novel and an adventure game, so prepare to do LOTS of reading. You basically go to an area, then murder happens and then you have to find your defendant and proof their innocent. There are two kinds of gameplay, the first is the investigation, where you go around and look at stuff and talk with witnesses and the police and such. That is the most classical for an adventure game. The second one are the trials, where you have to proof your client’s innocence. It generally is by getting a witness on the stand and having to find the contradictions in their testimony. You can press them to get more information or present evidence once you spotted a contradiction. That is like a really nice puzzle and it could be pretty hard to find a contradiction, but it was all the more satisfying, when you found it and the testimony crumbled in itself and the prosecutor had their damaged portray after a good counter. I have a bit of problems with it though, because sometimes you are obliged to show a certain piece of evidence. Most of the time, several are allowed, but I had one case, where a crime photo very much proofed what I wanted to say, namely that the victim used his left hand to hold his coffee cup, but for some reason, the lip stain on the coffee cup was the only valid evidence. Huh... In the second and third title, the investigation part actually got spiced up by making Phoenix able to see when people hide secrets from him and then we need to gather evidence and get them to spill their secrets. It is similar to the court room, but with only two parties. I really liked that parts. The gameplay was pretty fun, for me at least, but it has a few weaknesses of course, which are the usual adventure game weaknesses. Once you know the solution to the puzzle, the replayability is gone. Story and Characters That is where the game shines. Like I said, the game is basically a visual novel. It has its own individual stories for each case as well as some over arching storyline, mostly centered around a certain case, the DL-6 in the first title and then about the Fey Family in the second and third title. The cases are sometimes a bit crazy, but that is too expected, the whole series is very whacky and filled with jokes and humours, sometimes good and sometimes bad jokes. The stories are interesting to follow and I often wanted to find out the truth myself, see if my suspicisions were correct and if we could get the real murdered on the stand to make a confession. It is the most interesting when the overall storylines are getting involved, like in the first title, the DL6-Incident was both for the fourth and the fifth case and seeing how it all came together and got solved completely, was amazing. The characters are a bunch of regulars and a bunch of case specific. Our main characters are clearly Phoenix Wright, the defense attorney, we play as and Maya Fey, a spirit medium. We also get a few regular prosecutors, with Miles Edgeworth for the first title, Franziska von Karma for the second and Godot for the third title. They could be considered the “villains”, but in a sense, they only try to serve justice, even though all of them have pretty nasty personalities at first. We also have Detective Gumshoe, a very unlucky homicide detective, Larry Butz, Phoenix’ creepy friend and Lotta Hart, a woman who can’t decide on a career, but loves making photos, and Pearl Fey, the little cousin of Maya. We also have Mia Fey, Maya’s big sister and Phoenix’ mentor, but she tragically died... but that isn’t too much of a problem, because Maya is a spirit medium and can channel her, so that she often helps Phoenix out. All of them, besides Larry, who I have some troubles with, are absolutely adorable, they are quirky, they have moments, they have character growth, they have certain speech patterns and I love them. What I especially like, Maya is kind of Phoenix’ assistant and in pretty much every other story, I would have expected for them to go the shipping route, but Maya and Phoenix, despite being shipped heavily by Pearl, never show any romantic energy in my book. They are more platonic, more like little sister and big brother. It may come from the fact, that Maya is the little sister of Mia Fey, Phoenix’ mentor, and he views her more as a little sister, but their platonic relationship truly touched me. When it comes to shipping, Phoenix and Miles have more erotic energy between them that Phoenix and Maya could ever have! Especially in the first title! It doesn’t surprise me that they are a popular ship. Pet Peeves Ok, some gripes I have with this game are the ages of the characters! Like, we had a case where a 14 year old girl planned a fake kidnapping, good, everyone was super stoked about that, but then it turned out, her 18 year old sister was a police woman at that time. And at age 23, she was considered a police veteran. What?! We also had a doctor who was said to be 31 years old... he looked like he was 55! Franziska is another offender... one of these japanese tropes of the “child genius”. She became a prosecutor at age 13 and only was 18 when Phoenix first met her. She is from germany and I am pretty sure it is downright illegal to be a legal prosecutor there when you are not of age, so... Then... we have the fact that this game so OBVIOUSLY is set in Japan, but the localization acts like it is set in America... Yes, America has a super traditional japanese village, Maya Fey is wearing traditional japanese clothing, we have a case centered around the Steel Samurai, typical japanese kids TV where an actor is wearing a full body suit and masks himself. I am actually surprised that when they were in super obvious japanese settings, that they actually talked about everything like it was japanese, and not made onigiri into donuts. But ok, I can forgive this, because it is so dumb and the original setting is more than obvious. Larry! The guy turned out to be creepy! He first got introduced as Phoenix’ idiot friend with a weakness for hot woman, but getting used by them a whole lot, ok, that is still fine. But with each entry, guy turned more and more creepy, until he tried to hit on a married woman and said that he wanted to date Pearl. Pearl is a nine year old child, wtf, Larry?! He had some moments, but even the game acknowledged what a waste of space he is and made him the butt monkey. Which I can fully and totally understand. Ok, that has been it! Overall, I enjoyed these games a lot! I would like to try and find the others in the series, but I don’t think I will be able to find them...

#phoenix wright #phoenix wright trilogy #phoenix wright spoilers #review

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that-fannerd-with-the-glasses · 4 years

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Huhh so, here’s some general characterization/fun fact things for Incredibles AU!! I usually don’t post this kinda stuff but since I’m still working on chapter three, figured I might as well!

Phoenix (36), Mr. Incredible/Bob Parr counterpart

Superpower is super strength

Superhero name is Captain Indestructible.

Didn’t really start to realize his powers until late in high school, though he didn’t actually begin superhero work until he was in college. Mia was one of his professors and she ended up eventually catching on to his abilities and offered to be his mentor (as she’s also a super). They worked as a team together up until the point Mia was killed in a severe incident, from that point on Phoenix ended up working alone. He did end up taking Maya under his wing since she was supposed to train with Mia before she died, though she eventually branched out on her own as well.

Was an art major, and had plans of mainly working from home as a freelance artist.

He really does try to be a good dad, okay, and he fucking loves his kids. It’s not his fault that every job the government’s placed him sucks the life and willpower out of him. He studied art dammit, being stuck at a desk job selling insurance was his worst nightmare come true.

Was in peak shape during his hero days, but years of being hunched over at a desk and little to no exercise--not to mention poor eating habits ended up developing into a soft dad bod that he’s a tad insecure about.

Meets up with Maya once or twice during the week, they usually end up getting burgers and reminiscing about the old days together.

Tried so hard to forget about hero work and live a normal steady life with his family, but that’s easier said than done. His entire den at home is decorated with all sorts of posters and articles and lately, he’s been spending just a bit too much time in it.

He’s already blown cover on their family twice, and he’s so torn between wanting to stay put and wanting to resume hero work.

Miles (36), Elastigirl/Helen Parr counterpart

Superpower is elasticity.

Superhero name is Flexuous.

Has been dealing with his powers pretty much since childhood. After his parents died, he was taken in by Manfred Von Karma and trained to be his prodigy.

He ended up breaking away from Von Karma’s teachings sometime later and tried to do hero work on his own, his first instance of this being when he and Phoenix met for the first time. For a while they actually were rivals, before becoming friends and eventually dating, and were far too amused by the media’s obsession with their supposed rivalry.

Was studying to obtain a law degree and had hopes of becoming a lawyer, but when the lawsuits started happening and superheros were all uprooted, he ended up having to abandon any hopes of having any sort of high profile career.

Sometimes works as a legal mediator just to make a bit of extra money/put his law knowledge to good use.

He is the true backbone of the Edgeworth-Wright household. It would be in shambles if he weren’t in charge of it, as hair pulling as such a task is. For some years he and Phoenix co-parented without a problem, but with middle age starting to settle and Phoenix delving into a midlife crisis, he’s more or less been having to manage things on his own.

Phoenix and Miles -

They formally met through a foreign language course they were both taking, though officially had actually met several times under their super personas. It didn’t take long for either of them to figure each other’s identities out, however.

By the media’s standards, Captain Indestructible and Flexuous were rivals to one another, which up until a point was true. When they started dating, however, the rivalry all became a pretense just for the public’s entertainment. Though that wasn’t to say their butting heads and bickering outside of their super suits wasn’t all real, because it very much was.

They dated for about two years before they were engaged, but their wedding had to be put on hold due to all the lawsuits and Super-related scandals going on.

Miles pretty much planned his and Phoenix’s wedding up to a T, which didn’t matter in the end since they couldn’t afford the venue they’d wanted. They tried to wait a while, so they could save up enough money but that didn’t work out, and thus they decided to just go ahead and have a small private ceremony at the local courthouse.

Phoenix knows Miles will never admit it, but he’s heartbroken that they didn’t get to have the wedding they wanted, especially after all the effort he put into it. That and the venue they’d booked was where his parents had gotten married, it’d meant so much to him to have their wedding there and they didn’t get to do that.

They made the promise to each other that someday, when they were more financially stable, that they’d renew their vows and have the ceremony they’d always wanted, however that’s easier said than done when you’re trying to pay off bills and raise three kids.

Adopted Apollo two years into their marriage, then Athena a few years after that, and just recently have adopted Trucy.

Apollo (14), Violet Parr counterpart

Superpower is invisibility/force fields.

The oldest child of the Edgeworth-Wright family.

Has a crush on Klavier, who’s one of the more popular students in school because of course he is.

Struggles with having to keep his powers a secret, which in-turn causes a great deal of self doubt.

Enjoys classic literature and music.

Is stressed 24/7. His family is weird and he just wants to be normal, please help him.

Athena (10), Dash Parr counterpart

Superpower is super speed.

The middle child of the Edgeworth-Wright family.

Her biological mother was also a super, who was killed by an ex-villain. Something similar happened to Miles when he was young, so of course he was all for adopting her.

She has way too much energy for her own good, and has trouble focusing on one thing at a time. Her parents have tried time and time again to find a proper outlet for her to take her energy out on, but nothing’s worked so far and has only resulted in multiple visits to the principal’s office.

She wants so badly to play sports and has begged her parents time and time again to let her try out for one of the teams, though this usually ends in disagreement. Miles will put his foot down over the fear of her having an unfair advantage due to her powers, while Phoenix wants nothing more than to let her go ahead and do it.

She very much loves and cares for her siblings, even if she does tend to pick on Apollo sometimes.

Trucy (11 months old), Jack Jack Parr counterpart

Superpower is transformation, but the rest of her family doesn’t know this yet shhhh.

The youngest child of the Edgeworth-Wright family.

She was an urgent emergency adoption, as well as being a closed one, so not much is known about her birth family.

Maya (30), Frozone/Lucius Best counterpart

Superpower is telepathy/telekinesis.

Every woman in her family ended up developing these sorts of powers one way or another, so when hers started to get out of control she confided in Mia and was promised help in the matter. When she did finally arrive in the city though, Mia was dead so Phoenix took over the whole mentor thing, even if admittedly he wasn’t very good at it.

Despite everything, with Phoenix knowing next to nothing about Maya’s sort of power, he really tried his best to be of help to her and they ended up becoming close friends, even when she went off to do hero work on her own.

After the superhero relocation program went into effect, she started work as a medium as a low key means of using her powers without giving herself away. She now owns her own small “mystic elements” type of shop where she does palm readings and the like, though nothing too drastic since a full display of her powers would give her away and have her relocated.

Has never once been relocated come to think of it, and Phoenix is kind of jealous. It helps that she can be more subdued about her powers, while he doesn’t really have that option.

Pearl lives with her and works in the shop as well. She ran away from home several years ago after a fight with her mother and Maya’s been looking after her ever since.

Is the cool, eccentric aunt to Phoenix and Miles’ kids. She or Pearl are their go-to whenever they need a babysitter (since they can’t actually afford one lmao).

Franziska (33), Edna Mode counterpart

Has no superpowers.

Works in the fashion industry, used to be responsible for a lot of super’s suits before the whole lawsuits and relocation shit went down.

The adoptive sister of Miles, who at one point was incredibly resentful towards him due to their father paying him more attention than her due to his having powers. They’ve both made peace since then, on the account that their father sucks.

Before Phoenix had met her, he was wearing his own homemade suit which she absolutely tore to shreds upon seeing. Ever since that day, he’s been low key terrified of her.

Is essentially that wealthy lesbian aunt who likes to show off around Christmas and dump expensive presents on her nieces and nephew.

Travels around a lot due to her job, so she’s not around often.

Dick Gumshoe (45), Rick Dicker counterpart

Has no superpowers.

Works with the whole Agency that regulates supers and what not, personally made sure that he’d be both Phoenix and Miles’ assigned case worker since he’d already known them a while.

Is doing his best in a crappy situation. Personally if you asked him, he’d be fine with supers coming out of their forced retirement but he’s not able to do much about it in his position. Regardless, he’s still a valued family friend and the kids love it when he visits.

Is married to Maggey Byrde because its what he deserves.

Dahlia Hawthorne (32), Syndrome counterpart

Has no superpowers so to speak, but instead relies on technology invented by her family’s company.

She and Phoenix crossed paths during a supers convention, where she tried to convince him to train her as well, going on and on about how she wanted to be a hero too. But seeing as she didn’t actually have powers and wasn’t a hero herself, he turned her down.

The first attempt wasn’t the last, as she tried time and time again to get his attention and get her to train him, and each time he would refuse. He admired her efforts but the fact was, she was a civilian and even with her technology, she could be seriously hurt.

Inadvertently foiled his attempts to sabotage a villain that ended up causing a railway explosion. She was arrested afterwards for interference with hero work, and Phoenix didn’t see her again for a long time.

Took Phoenix’s rejection very personally, and holds her public humiliation towards her arrest as his fault.

Moved away to the island after she got out of jail and spent the next several years building up a brand new company from the ground up as part of her revenge plot.

Iris Hawthorne (32), Mirage counterpart

Has no superpowers.

Is the twin sister of Dahlia.

She took on many of the company responsibilities until Dahlia was released from jail, then was forced into being her assistant for the new company.

#a lot of this stuff may be subject to change since #y'know #this fic IS a wip and all #but uhhhh #yeah idk #ace attorney #incredibles au

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spam-monster · 4 years

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helsa week 2020 day - modern

Objection! Hold it! Wait, what?

I was going to write a nice story about Elsa bumping into her sister’s asshole ex at Disney World but he’s carting around a bunch of kids (his nieces and nephews) and is clearly exhausted and terrible at this so she ends up tagging along just to make sure one of the kids doesn’t end up falling over a railing or something when he’s not paying attention and they end up bonding…how the heck did I end up writing an ACE ATTORNEY AU?!?!

(still might write the theme park au at some point, but not today apparently)

(warning: this will probably make zero sense if you aren’t familiar with the plot of the first Ace Attorney game.)

---

Lobby 2, before the trial of Olaf Oaken

Prosecutor: Elsa Arendelle. Defending Attorney: Anna Arendelle.

“Quite melodramatic, isn’t it? Avoiding your little sister for years, only to end up facing off with her in court?”

“Are you doubting my abilities, Prosecutor Westergard? Sister or not, I can assure you it will not make a difference to me. I shall get the criminal declared guilty, as always.”

“Just checking. Wouldn’t want my big brother’s favorite protégé getting distracted and making a mistake.”

The blonde woman turned to glare at the smirking red-head next to her.

“Ah, yes. There’s the famous ice queen-glare that makes witnesses shake in their boots!”

“Would that it worked on fellow irritating prosecutors as well.”

The door to the lobby slammed open as a large mousey-blond man fell through followed by a large brown dog barking excitedly, interrupting the two. “Oof – I have the reports you wanted, ma’am!” He motioned excitedly as he looked up, then stopped as he saw the other man. “Ugh, what’s he doing here?”

“Detective Kristoff, you’re late.” She said. Then “Hello, Sven” as she turned to greet the dog warmly. “Hans was just leaving.”

Hans sighed. “Fine, I guess I am. Good luck out there, Elsa.”

“That’s Prosceutor Arendelle to you-“

“Yeah, yeah.” he waved, already out the door.

---

Lobby 1, after the trial

“Anna…I hadn’t expected to see you again after all these years…in retrospect, it would have been better that we not have met.”

---

Police Department, a few cases later, the day before Elsa Arendelle’s trial…

“You’re really taking Elsa’s case?”

“Of course I am! I know she didn’t kill that guy! And why are you prosecuting her, aren’t you guys supposed to be buddies or something?”

“Buddies? Hah! Just because Mister Westergard’s big brother is her mentor doesn’t mean they’re buddies! Guy doesn’t even have buddies, he’s just a big jerk-“

“That’s Prosecutor Westergard to you, Detective Kristoff. And although we are…acquaintances, I have been assigned to prosecute Miss. Arendelle’s case, and that is what I intend to do. If you truly believe her to still be innocent after hearing all the facts tomorrow in court, then I expect you to prove it.”

“…You think I’m foolish for believing in her, don’t you?”

“I think you’re so desperate to believe that the sister you remember still exists somewhere inside her that you would defend her from anything, even if she stabbed you through the heart herself.”

“Well, you’re wrong, mister! Anna’s gonna kick your butt in court tomorrow, and then you’ll be sorry, you big meanie…meanie!”

“It’s okay, Olaf. Prosecutor Westergard…I am going to finish my investigation. I will see you tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow then, Miss Anna.”

---

Detention Center, Visitor’s Room, Two days later…

“…What are you doing here, Westergard?”

“Prosecutor…no, Elsa. Did you do it?”

“…Does it matter to you what my answer is? You’re still going to try to get me declared guilty tomorrow; I’m sure your brother is already upset that Anna’s been able to drag out the trial for this long.”

“Elsa…”

“…Don’t look at me like that. Like you’re having second thoughts.”

“What if I am?”

“You’re not. I know you too well. You love lulling people into a false sense of security and then betraying their trust and turning everything against them.”

“…Well, I wouldn’t say I love it…”

“…”

“…Alright, maybe I do enjoy it a teeny bit too much. But only when I’m actually sure they’re guilty.”

“You’re always sure everyone you prosecute is guilty. You have no reason to believe any differently of me.”

“…Just…just please. Answer me, and I’ll leave you alone.”

“…No.”

“No?”

“I didn’t kill him.”

“…Okay…Goodnight, Elsa.”

---

Next day, in court, just before the verdict is declared…

“That time in the elevator, seven years ago…I still have nightmares…your honor, that man did not kill my parents! …I did.”

“Elsa, no!”

---

Lobby 2, a few minutes later…

“Ha! Finally, a chance to redeem yourself, little brother! Let us see that foolish girl try to defend her sister from this!”

“…”

“…Why so glum, Hans? This is your chance. Haven’t you been waiting for an opportunity to finally defeat Elsa Arendelle and take her title as King of Prosecutors?”

“Yes, but…not like this. And isn’t she your protégé as well? Why are you so eager to have her declared guilty?”

“Are you…questioning me, little brother?”

“I…no. Of course not. I’ll…go start preparing my case.”

---

An hour later, Lobby 1

“Wooo! Did you see that! You verbally kicked his butt, Anna!”

“Yeah, pal! That was great!”

“Thanks Olaf, Detective Kristoff! At this rate we - …Elsa? What’s wrong?”

“It’s Hans. Why…would he be trying to make himself look this bad?”

“…You think he’s doing it on purpose?”

“Anna, I’ve known him for years. Even when he first started taking cases, Hans was never this clumsy and unprepared.”

“Maybe…is it possible he’s…trying to help you, somehow? I mean, I know it sounds ridiculous, it’s Hans after all, but…Kristoff?”

“…The bailiff just told me…apparently Prosecutor Westergard isn’t feeling well. Chief Prosecutor Westergard will be taking over for him.”

“His big brother? The guy who was Elsa’s mentor? But why…Elsa, do you know?”

“…Hans…he got himself kicked out on purpose. He acted so incompetent that the Chief Prosecutor had no choice but to step in. Anna…he was there that day, wasn’t he? Maybe…maybe Hans thinks he know something we don’t, and this was the only way to get him into court.”

“…Right. Well, we’ve gotten this far. Let’s do this.”

“Be careful, Anna. If Hans is ten times more ruthless than I am, his brother is ten time more ruthless than that…”

“It’s okay, Elsa. I’ve got you. I won’t let you down!”

---

The next day

Headlines: CHIEF PROSECUTOR WESTERGARD FOUND GUILTY OF MURDER

The Chief Prosecutor, known for being undefeated, has been found guilty of the murders of the late defense attorney Iduna Arendelle and Detective Agnarr Arendelle. It was said to be a crime of passion, revenge against them for tarnishing his almost-perfect record in court. It seems he tried to frame their eldest daughter Elsa, who was trapped in the elevator with them at the time, for the crime; but their younger daughter and Elsa’s sister was able to reveal the truth about his heinous schemes…

-----

So yeah. Basically Anna = Phoenix, Elsa = Edgeworth, Kristoff = Gumshoe, Hans = like a weird mix of Franziska and Klavier, Olaf = Maya (and Larry?(I mean as in person Anna and Elsa both knew when they were kids)), Sven = Missile the police dog

I was going to do Elsa as the defense attorney and Hans as the rival prosecutor at first, because if you’ve ever played an Ace Attorney game you know of the…”tension” between these characters, but “believing in a person so much even though you haven’t seen them in years that you defend them on blind faith against all odds” is just so Anna that I had to do it this way.

Maybe after Elsa gets her name cleared she ends up becoming a defense attorney and redeems Hans in the same way? Who knows. Also, I seem to have a running theme of “Hans’ asshole big brother is the real big bad” going here.

...Maybe the quarantine has got me a bit loopy, and that’s why I keep coming up with all these ridiculous au’s this year lol.

#helsa #helsaweek #helsa au #helsaweek2020 #ace attorney #frozen #frozen au

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wardencommanderrodimiss · 5 years

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Witches, Chapter 21: post-trial wrap-up. No, seriously, finally, it’s over. It’s been....3000 years....

[Seelie of Kurain Chapter Masterlist] [ao3]

[Witches Chapter Masterlist] [ao3]

----

It’s all there, on the record, to end the case, to make the next trial go smoother: the victim, Jack Shipley, slipped and fell and Rimes couldn’t pull him back to safety; Orla and Sasha did nothing wrong, and neither did Ora, a year ago. Azura Summers’ death was a heart attack. Two accidental deaths, and Rimes trying to get revenge on the wrong orca for something that never needed to be avenged. All this pain and agony, all because the victim wanted to keep it a secret that there were two orcas.

It never needed to happen this way.

Sometimes Phoenix thinks it’s easier to deal with cases where one of the parties involved was actively a malicious murderer. Because it hurts, god does it hurt, if the victim or killer is someone that they knew, loved, trusted, and Phoenix has both been the one in pain and the one trying to console his clients, but at least there’s a feeling that justice was served. Someone got what they deserved, in the end.

No one deserved this nightmare.

The court officers don’t escort Rimes out right away; Sasha, out of the defendant’s chair, out of suspicion, hurries forward to speak with him. He doesn’t even seem to notice her approaching. He might not have blinked since Phoenix told him about Azura’s heart condition, since Rimes himself realized that everything he did just hurt innocent people, and demanded to know why Phoenix couldn’t just let him be called a murderer and punished as such. Yeah, he’s criminally liable for a lot, and everyone here knows it, the judge has even said it, but - he did not want to kill Jack Shipley, and that still means something. Rimes doesn’t deserve a death penalty like Rimes seems to think he deserves.

“Hey, Marlon,” Sasha says. He jumps, slamming his shin into the witness stand. He really didn’t notice her. “When this is all done, y’know - served out your sentence and rehabilitation - you’d better come back to the aquarium, you hear?”

“But…” He doesn’t even say anything else. He lets everything that’s happened in the past half an hour stand for itself.

“We’re pirates, remember? Cap’n Orla’s Swashbucklers! A pirate crew’s not gonna care about criminal records in hiring!” She seems to be deliberately missing the point. Rimes doesn’t say anything else. “Hey. Marlon. That whole, um, hulking out thing - you didn’t - that wasn’t some kind of catastrophic deal, right? You - you okay?”

And of course he isn’t, not in the broad scheme of things, and of course Sasha isn’t okay in that sense either, but she only means one thing and that’s the thing that Phoenix has been wondering, and Blackquill has already been escorted out of the courtroom but Taka is perched just off to the side, listening in too. What did he bargain away, thinking he’d gained something useful?

Rimes slumps until his forehead hits the witness stand. “Had’ta give up being a vegetarian,” he mumbles.

“Wait,” Athena says, “do you mean you had to give up meat or you had to—”

“I was a vegetarian.” Rimes doesn’t lift his head. The way he’s doubled over hurts Phoenix’s back and neck by proxy. “But I have to eat meat now.”

Whether he was a vegetarian for personal or religious reasons, or health reasons, or something as simple as he thought raw meat was gross to look at and hated cooking with it and had to functionally become a vegetarian (like Phoenix his first year having a kitchen except takeout sushi isn’t vegetarian and ramen and pizza aren’t a healthy vegetarian diet) - whatever it was, going back to meat in the diet is some sort of sacrifice. And that so often is the cornerstone of a deal: a sacrifice. Giving something up. A name, a soul, a skill, a principle, some cash for an all-you-can-eat buffet—

And it could’ve been so, so much worse for Rimes. He’s lucky.

“I made the deal for strength,” he adds, still hunched over, like his spine has been wrenched out of him and replaced with jelly. “I thought - I thought I could be strong enough then to help. But I wasn’t strong enough to hang onto the captain, and all the rest - physical strength didn’t matter. Didn’t help me at all.”

Which, Phoenix wouldn’t be surprised if whichever fae gave him the magatama knew that it wouldn’t. It’s a human thing - and a fae thing, it’s a people thing, to not know what would actually help. What they really need, versus what they think they need.

Sasha steps around the witness stand and pulls Rimes around into a hug, his head slumped down onto her shoulder instead of the stand now. Phoenix hears, and thinks he isn’t supposed to, Rimes’ ragged repeated “I’m sorry”s and “It’s my fault”s.

“Yeah and you’re still my friend, y’know that,” Sasha says.

The magatama slips from Rimes’ hand and hits the floor, shattering with a sound like it’s made of glass. Rimes shudders and trembles and his whole body shrinks, back down to the man he was before.

“You never cease to surprise me.”

Down the hall, at the top of the stairs, Athena is excitedly introducing Sasha to Trucy, and re-introducing Sasha and Apollo. Taka is long gone. And Edgeworth stands next to Phoenix, arms folded, drumming his fingers, and Phoenix can’t tell if he’s angry or begrudgingly impressed or wholeheartedly impressed. “So when Blackquill came to you to tell you that he was going to prosecute an orca, did you regret lengthening his leash at that point?”

Edgeworth shakes his head. “Prosecutor Blackquill was with me at the time. We were discussing - a case.” If it was Blackquill’s case specifically, Phoenix thinks he would have said that, but this just sounds like there’s even more, other cases, behind the scenes, above the security clearance of absolutely anyone. “And then I have a call from Detective Fulbright that he has a case that may be able to go to trial, and Prosecutor Blackquill is of course interested in that.” He shakes his head a second time. “If you think Blackquill is a thorn in your side in court, believe me, he is just as much of one to be outside of it.”

“That sounds consistent with what I’ve seen.” Phoenix glances around again to be sure that the hawk isn’t anywhere around. “Wait, you met with him - at your office? One-on-one? Without Fulbright around?”

“Yes, I have. Several armed officers on the other side of the door, of course - Detective Gumshoe stringently insists—”

“Good,” Phoenix interrupts. He should buy Gumshoe dinner for that. Someone has to keep Edgeworth’s dumb ass in one piece. “And Blackquill knows he’d still be rotting only in prison if not for you, right? And that if he—”

Edgeworth’s pale eyes flicker sideways at Phoenix. “Your concern is appreciated and entirely unwarranted and unnecessary. Prosecutor Blackquill, assuredly, has nothing against me, unlike certain others who you spent significant one-on-one time with.”

Oh. There it is. That gulf always between them, sometimes near closed and then it yawns, and they are here and here is further apart. “Good,” Phoenix repeats, more faintly than before. “Is there anything new you can tell me about him that would help?”

“Unfortunately not. He’s very stubborn in regards to his own murder case - as I said, a thorn in my side.”

“And maybe an ache in your head and a pain in your ass, too?”

Even if Edgeworth is, maybe not mad at him, but frustrated enough with him to bring up Kristoph, Phoenix is pleased to know that he can still make him snort in amusement. “I’m in particular agreement with His Honor about your need to watch your language.”

“Just in court though, right?”

“No.” Edgeworth turns his head to fully affix a glare on him, and Phoenix wilts. “In general. I can only imagine that good things would come of you choosing to fully speak and act like the lawyer that you are.”

The lawyer that he hasn’t been for eight years. The lawyer that Edgeworth pushed him to be, again. “All else aside,” Edgeworth adds, “such as and especially the orca, and that you are an utterly ridiculous man lacking a modicum of good sense and decorum—”

“That’s a lot to throw aside.”

Edgeworth ignores him. “—I am happy to see you standing in court again. You deserve this.”

“I—?” Are you sure? Do I really? After everything I’ve done? Everything that you know I am?

“You do,” Edgeworth says. “And I look forward to seeing what you do next, so long as you do not decide that you will - try and outdo yourself in finding a more outlandish defendant.”

“Hey, if they show up at my office, who am I to turn away clients? It’s not like I’ve ever had enough work to really be choosy with it. You’d said that yourself plenty of times.”

“Though I can’t say I expected an orca to be the logical conclusion of your manner of conducting business.”

They’re an Anything Agency. This was the place they were going to end up. “Would you think better or worse of me if I tell you I didn’t know the client was an orca at first, until we got to the aquarium and Ms Buckler introduced us to said orca?”

“You went all the way out to meet the client without having asked such basic information as name or species - yes, that does sound exactly like you.” He doesn’t answer whether that’s better or worse, just makes it clear that he knows Phoenix well enough to not be surprised. The more Phoenix thinks about it, the more he’s surprised that he didn’t ever get himself into a situation like this before. Maybe it could be said that there’s a lesson here, but he thinks he’s going to deliberately not learn it. “And the fact that from that, you pulled two victories, and cleared up the truth of a guilty man who was nevertheless not guilty of murder - also, very much like you.”

“You don’t need to flatter me,” Phoenix says. “I’m already on board to help you out with whatever, remember?”

He knows it isn’t flattery - or if it is, it isn’t hollow, because Edgeworth doesn’t say anything he doesn’t mean - but he’s still locked into deflect, deflect. Edgeworth knows how much Phoenix feels he doesn’t belong here. He’s not going to address it straight-out - that’s not his style, that’s not their styles, but he knows, and he still thinks that this is exactly where Phoenix does belong.

The one word he wants to say, thanks, sticks his throat shut, but he hopes Edgeworth knows anyway.

“Hey, Boss! Hi, Mr Edgeworth!” Athena waves them over. “Boss, Sasha wants us to come back to the aquarium one last time so Orla can thank us in person, too! And we should probably pick up Pearly, right?”

Not that Pearl is limited in her movements in a way that necessitates them picking her up in a car, but if she’s still hanging around the aquarium, she’d probably be happy to see them and come back to the office with them. “Sounds like a plan,” he says. “Catch up with you later, Edgeworth.” He gives his friend a solid thwack on the shoulder.

“I can give Trucy and Mr Justice a lift back to your office, then,” Edgeworth says. Trucy beams; Apollo, terror-stricken, glances between Edgeworth and Trucy and seems to resign himself to whatever this fate is. Phoenix would like for Apollo to get to know Edgeworth better, but can’t blame him for the fear. Edgeworth’s scary even before he got the title Chief Prosecutor to cement it.

“Oh, Prosecutor Edgeworth,” Athena says. “There’s something I wanted to ask you - can I email you later?”

“Ah - of course.” Edgeworth still glances at Phoenix, raising an eyebrow, doubtlessly wondering what question she has that she isn’t going to the nearest adult in her life, the one right next to her. Probably something about cars or Europe or any of the other gaps in Phoenix’s life experience, something that she figures he’s too much of a mess to have an answer to. Maybe it’s something about Phoenix’s badge, the losing of it, that she wants to know without tipping Phoenix to the fact that she’s digging into his ugly past like this. Or maybe it’s the what the hell about Blackquill she wants to know. There are lots of questions it could be.

Phoenix shrugs back at Edgeworth. It’s sort of like they’re co-parenting another daughter. No real way around that now, and Phoenix follows her out of the courthouse as she hurtles herself down the stairs.

They arrive back in the orca pool room in time to catch the middle-end of a lecture Dr Crab is giving Sasha about taking her health seriously and taking it easy until her condition is fully, properly managed. She sits at the edge of the pool, patting Orla’s nose, her hair soaking wet, like she just jumped straight into the pool upon her return. “I was thinking Orla and I would put on a mini show for you when you got here,” Sasha says to Athena, “but that’s obviously not happening.”

“I’m inclined to agree with the doctor,” Phoenix says.

“He’s a vet, not a people-doctor!” Sasha protests. Jokingly? It sounds like a joke.

“And you, Miss Selkie, are as much seal as you are human.”

“Not at the same time!” She stands up, careful with her footing, no doubt thinking about the victim slipping and falling to his death. “But, really. Phoenix, Athena, I cannot ever thank you enough, and your office, and Pearl, too.” Sasha waves at Pearl, who is sitting with Rifle and the penguin chick, Sniper, over by the wall. “All of you! Thank you, thank you, for what you did for me, and Orla, and the aquarium, for everyone. You found us the truth, you got us closure - made me realize this guy isn’t so bad after all!” She elbows Dr Crab.

“Not sure I’m happy about that one.” Crab steps away from her second nudge.

“You really helped us out a ton, Pearls,” Phoenix says. “Definitely couldn’t have done this all without you.”

“Oh, it was nothing!” She starts to cover her face with her hands and decides to duck behind Rifle instead. “I’m sure you could have won without me, Mr Nick!”

He could have, yes - but not to this same end. He couldn’t have proven Rimes was trying to save Shipley in the end; he wouldn’t have had the time or patience to plaster fingerprinting powder over everything. But he’s not one to look a gift debt-forgiveness in the mouth, either, so he doesn’t point that out. Dr Crab’s eyes narrow, wondering, no doubt, how Phoenix got such a tricky, powerful faery to like him so much that she writes off all this investigation and assistance as nothing. What he had to lose to gain that. Phoenix shrugs back at him, and they watch Sasha and Athena head over to Pearl, Sasha animatedly explaining something to Athena and half holding her back from charging down Rifle.

“And thanks for spilling almost all of the aquarium’s secrets like that,” Dr Crab adds dryly.

“I’m only a little sorry,” Phoenix says. Better to be honest.

Dr Crab waves dismissively. “You said you would, and I was prepared for that. I’m almost glad I’ve got less to hide now. That writer lady, now that she’s not crusading after Orla anymore, said to me that she thinks that the aquarium’s in the right with the TORPEDO, and the law’s wrong, and she’d take up our case to advocate for its legality.” He grins, just slightly. “So we might be able to wiggle free of any serious consequences.”

“That’s—” Phoenix pauses to think over what he was about to say. “Speaking as a lawyer, I shouldn’t say that’s good, but I’m glad to hear that anyway.”

“I’m pretty good at keeping secrets, so don’t worry, I won’t go blabbing on you.” Phoenix laughs awkwardly, while Dr Crab’s face doesn’t twitch. He seems very serious. “Though, speaking of secrets, buddy, if you can keep your mouth shut when you don’t have a case hinging on it, I’ve got to tell you, there’s one thing you didn’t get quite right, back in that courtroom, and I wasn’t about to go correcting you on it.”

There’s a tanuki standing in front of Apollo, saying very similar words, and the blood left both Apollo and Athena’s faces, and if Apollo had vomited right in Filch’s face it wouldn’t have been much of a surprise. But Phoenix - Phoenix doesn’t know what he feels. Not this time. Dr Crab, unlike Filch, didn’t perjure himself willy-nilly all through this trial. If he held something back—

“Go on,” Phoenix says. His voice is strangled even to his own ears. Crab gives him a curious and suspicious once-over.

“The calendar with the meeting with Jack, seven am at the orca pool - that’s mine, yeah, and I did go to that meeting to wait for him, yeah. But.” His silence might be dramatic, or a last assessment of whether Phoenix is trustworthy, and he adds, “That meant the orca pool at Supermarine Aquarium, not here.”

“The Supermarine Aquarium?” Phoenix repeats. “That’s the dolphin therapy place, right?” Athena explained animal-assisted therapy, and that aquarium across town in particular, sometime last evening, while they compiled their last investigatory information, but Phoenix checked out mentally in the middle of it. And something about an open-ocean marine sanctuary too, for whales that had been rescued from bad conditions at other institutions but couldn’t live fully on their own in the wild. He has no idea what relevance Athena thought that had. She just likes to talk about whales. “I didn’t even know they had an orca.”

“They don’t,” Dr Crab says. “They’re just harboring her for us.” It doesn’t click right away. Crab goes on. “When I told you about how I’d fake Orla’s death if I had to - I have full confidence I’d be able to, because Jack and I already did it once. Ora’s been living there the last year - we tried to send her into the wild, but she didn’t want to leave Orla, and Orla didn’t want to leave us, and we couldn’t exactly just have an orca hanging out around in the harbor for everyone to keep running into.”

“And that’s why you and the owner were making those mysterious payments,” Phoenix says faintly. DePlume had some wild ideas about conspiracy involving that, but she couldn’t dream this up.

“Yep. Couldn’t exactly force that on the Supermarine’s budget, since she’s our orca, so we’ve been paying them for all her food and care. And orcas eat a lot.”

“I’d believe it,” Phoenix says, still thinking of someone else, someone who eats a lot and puts a serious strain on his wallet when she does.

“Since you’ve proven now that Ora was innocent all along, I figure we’ll bring her back here sooner rather than later,” Dr Crab says. “Not that I know how to budget and run an aquarium, and Sasha doesn’t, either. It’ll be a hell of a learning curve with Jack gone, but I don’t plan on going anywhere - but for now, I think it’d be better if you didn’t go saying anything about what I just told you.”

“Don’t worry,” Phoenix says. “I’ve been told I’m very good at keeping secrets.”

The bitter bend to the words would be hard to miss, but Dr Crab doesn’t move a muscle in his face. “Good. Hey, Sasha,” he calls over to her. “I’ve got my rounds to make and check in on the rest of the animals. Don’t do anything crazy as soon as I turn my back.” To Phoenix, he adds, “You seem to garner some sort of respect among young women in their early twenties, apparently, so I’m tasking you with making sure Sasha doesn’t start trying to show off.”

The average age is more like late teens, and the amount of actual “respect” he gets is up for strenuous debate. “Guess you have to be some sort of a crazy show-off to go get a job working with orcas when you’re a selkie.”

Dr Crab huffs. “Azura wasn’t like that. And I think your one in yellow is contributing to the feedback loop.”

“Athena’s got a - competitive spirit, yeah.”

“I don’t suppose I’ll be lucky enough that this is the last I see of you,” Dr Crab says. “Sasha’s keen on giving all your crew lifetime tickets, if we don’t run our place into the ground figuring out the management side.”

“I learned to run a law office on the fly,” Phoenix says. “Not really the same, but best of luck to you. And thanks for all your help, Dr Crab. I appreciate you being mostly honest.”

Dr Crab snorts, casting one glance back at Sasha and Orla, and he leaves.

Hell of a fortuitous thing, the doctor’s name. Herman Crab, marine veterinarian, weirdly cool with sea witches and selkies and fae. Phoenix doesn’t think names as given determine a trajectory in life, but the fae pick them deliberately. Courtney comes to mind. Or humans who escape the Twilight Realm and aren’t sure how they’re supposed to call themselves other than after what they are or what they do. Eldoon’s father comes to mind. (He wonders how Thalassa got her name.)

But like hell he’d ever ask. Azura‘s story was something Sasha asked, something relevant to all their questions. Case closed. Phoenix isn’t going to cast around trying to find someone with a more fucked-up story than his own. No one wins in that kind of game.

“Hey, Boss!” Athena calls. “Come feed Orla with us!” She and Pearl and Sasha take turns grabbing a fish from a bucket and tossing it to the orca. Phoenix watches her snap her jaws, full of bright white sharp teeth she doesn’t need to use because she just swallows these little fish whole. Thinks of someone else with a mouth full of teeth, not taking the time to chew. Wants to say no thanks. He could tell his girls it’s time to leave and head back to the office.

“All right, fine,” he says, and Sasha springs up with a fish ready to drop in his hands. “What do I do?”

Trucy is very quiet after Prosecutor Edgeworth leaves them back at the office. Apollo asks her if she’s okay and when she says “yeah” she doesn’t even manage to infuse it with her usual mask of cheer, and her fingers twitch red when she says it, her hand flitting up toward her diamond brooch and stopping. It would be easy to call her on it and she knows it, but there’s an unspoken social contract that has slowly coalesced between them all to let little things slide. Athena going quiet and staring off into space or furiously dragging legal textbooks off the shelves and paging through them; Trucy staring at the portrait of her father above the piano or at Phoenix’s desk and the bottom drawer there; Phoenix poking his head into whatever room the rest of them are gathered in if there’s a sudden silence like he’s afraid something happened, or several moments Apollo watched him studying for the Bar where he’d put his head in his hands and dig his hands through his hair about to pull it out. Apollo doesn’t know what makes Athena tick but the others he knows too well, and they let each other have breathing room.

Close to an hour later - it’s past five but Apollo doesn’t want to leave until Trucy has some company - she comes back and hops up onto Phoenix’s desk. “This is the first time Daddy’s been a lawyer since he’s been my daddy,” she says. “It’s his first trial that I’ve ever seen.” She unclips her cape from around her shoulders and tosses it into what looks like empty air, but it falls draped solidly over a wisp. “I was there for his - his last one, but he wasn’t my daddy then, and I was only paying attention to my other daddy to make a diversion for him to escape if he needed it.”

Apollo nods, silently.

“You know something, now, Apollo? I’ve been here half my life now. I’ve been Trucy Wright just a bit longer than I was Trucy Enigmar, and I’m gonna be Trucy Wright for the rest of my life and it’s only gonna be longer and longer now. And I love Daddy and I don’t want to be anywhere else but it’s…”

“Still weird?” Apollo asks. She nods. “I get that.” When he was sixteen it would’ve been about half his life away from Khura’in, except he didn’t have another loving father to ease the sting. Trucy was luckier.

“Did you ever have somewhere you stayed enough to miss it?” she asks. And then hastily she adds, “Never mind, you don’t have to talk if you don’t wanna.” He must have shown panic on his face, panic or pain, but those don’t narrow the answer to her question down. Panic and pain are responses that fit either meaning, that he spent his whole life never setting roots down to have a home, or he’ll spend the rest of his life aching for somewhere long gone. “You’re welcome to stay here forever, you know! You’re like family now!”

It’s a weird sentiment, all considered, that Apollo knows all about the Gramaryes and absolutely does not want to be a part of that, and he also knows that Phoenix is a mess masquerading as a person, and - and yet. It’s not about Apollo, and what he thinks, so much as it is something for Trucy, figuring out how to build a new family out of the ashes her old one left. The Gramaryes brought Apollo to this law office in some roundabout way, like they sent Trucy to Phoenix. Like Apollo can sometimes manage to think that if Dhurke hadn’t sent him away, he wouldn’t have been there for Clay. Or Trucy. Or anyone else.

“Um, thanks,” he says, and she beams, and though it had already been slipping away, he pushes further aside, for some other far future time, the thought of finding another law office to work at. This one case is not enough to expect he’s being pushed aside. And it would break Trucy’s heart and he doesn’t have enough friends that he can afford to do that.

“Here, come look at this,” she says, waving him over conspiratorially, the moment passed. “Daddy left this picture out on his desk. He must’ve been thinking about old times, too.”

Apollo joins her at Phoenix’s desk. “What am I looking at?”

“Uncle Larry argues a lot with Daddy and Uncle Miles about whether they look any older than they did back then,” Trucy says, holding out to him a photograph that she brought in earlier. “You can be the impartial judge!”

The three of them still wear the same colors, whenever this photo was taken. Larry shoved off behind the other two - did Apollo know that Phoenix’s flighty artist friend knew Edgeworth? - wearing an orange suit jacket thrown over what might be a t-shirt. Edgeworth, smiling, and Phoenix, with a golden badge tiny on his lapel. At least eight years ago. Then there’s a taller man in a dark green overcoat off to the right, and to the left, in front of Phoenix and Larry, a girl with long black hair and big, dark eyes, wearing robes almost identical to Pearl’s. “Who’s this?” Apollo asks.

“That’s Detective Gumshoe,” Trucy says. “He’s one of Uncle Miles’ best friends. They’ve worked together since ever. And that’s Maya, one of Daddy’s friends.”

“Is she—?”

“Yeah.” It’s easy to know the question. “I didn’t know that for a while about her, though. He didn’t say. And she didn’t come around enough for me to notice. Not like Pearly visits us.”

“No?”

Trucy shakes her head. “I met her the day I came to live with him and maybe one or two other times and then - Uncle Miles says she used to be here at the office all the time, helping Daddy with his cases and stuff.”

A fae mentor and why not a fae co-counsel too. “Maybe she got bored after he was disbarred,” Apollo suggests. That sounds fickle enough to be fae rationale.

“Pearly said they had a huge fight about him being disbarred and stopped talking so much to each other. About how he was handling it or something. I don’t know. I think Pearly said that Maya wanted to help.”

“I don’t think I’d be brave enough to give one of the - the Fair Folk, the silent treatment,” Apollo says. But he’s not sure he could brace himself well enough for the repercussions of accepting their help either, and thinking about all of those leaves him to trip and land on a euphemism for their name instead. Only some days is he brave enough to call them what they are.

“I’m not sure I would either,” Trucy admits. “But Uncle Miles talks like he and Maya got along well enough and he liked her well enough and he never sounds like he’s afraid of her when he’s always very weird about magic stuff and all of Daddy’s… everything.”

Apollo looks back down at the picture, into the face of the fae girl, her smile that looks like a human smile. “Do you think she still looks this age?” he asks. “Do the fae age like people do?” Or is their development slow the way humans growing up in their realm are?

Trucy shrugs. “Pearly seems to age the same as me, but I don’t know if she does that because she has me as a model for how people grow up, or if she actually would like that.”

There in the photo, behind the fae girl, Phoenix isn’t quite as gaunt and hollow in the face, and next to him Edgeworth isn’t wearing glasses, but though Edgeworth is smiling they both look exhausted, like they haven’t slept well in days, like they’ve been ground down to ashes. “I don’t think they look that much older,” Apollo says, tapping the picture, bringing them back to Trucy’s original question. “I mean, they look really tired there, and that’s about the same.”

“Is that what being old means?” she asks, eyes downcast, twisting her fingers together. “Perpetual tiredness?”

“Oh yeah. Once you turn twenty it’s over. It’s just wanting to constantly go back to bed.” Trucy whimpers. “Enjoy the next four years because that’s all you’ve got.”

“Nooo.”

“Oi! Apollo!” He didn’t hear the door open but there’s Athena appearing in the doorway, hollering at him. “Are you being mean to Trucy?”

“She’s always being mean to me!”

Trucy exaggerates her pout even further, fishing for sympathy, but when Phoenix follows Athena in he bursts out laughing. “Mr Nick!” Pearl scolds, and Phoenix jumps, literally jumps, away from her, avoiding her smack on the arm and knocking Athena into her desk. “You can’t be so mean to your own daughter!”

Trucy breaks into a fit of giggles. “Hey, so, Trucy, Apollo,” Athena says, hoisting herself up on her desk and dropping down behind it out of the way of Phoenix and Apollo. “Guess who’s got free lifetime admission to the shipshape aquarium now, and for friends, too!”

“Ooh, I know who you should invite.” Trucy kicks Apollo in the shin. He knows exactly the answer she has in mind.

“Vera,” he says.

“Oh you know I bet that would be fun,” Trucy says. “That’s not what I was going to say, also.”

“I know you weren’t.” He can’t really leverage himself to kick her back, so he knocks his shoulder into hers. Phoenix is giving them a weird look - not like he’s mad that Apollo is beating up on Trucy in turn. There’s nothing angry at all. Just kind of fond and kind of sad, and when he notices Apollo’s puzzled expression, his face immediately snaps back to lazy-eyed and closed off, a look Apollo’s seen less and less of in the past few months, but it’s always still there, the poker face underneath everything.

“So the answer is you and Mr Wright,” Apollo says to Athena, “because you’re the ones who defended her, right?”

“Ugh, nein, non, no, no,” Athena says. “I wouldn’t be bragging about it if you weren’t included! Sasha says everyone at the agency, and Pearly too! And whatever friends you want to bring, because I also specifically asked that too!”

Trucy kicks Apollo again. Apollo shakes his head.

“We’ll all go together sometime!” Athena says brightly. “And I was thinking, y’know, Mr Wright, I’m really glad you let me come on board here. I love working with all of you!”

“I - uh, yeah, of course.” Phoenix definitely was not prepared for that. There’s another weird look on his face, hesitation, and again he smooths it away with a bit of deliberate effort. “Glad to have you.”

“Good not to be the new kid anymore,” Apollo says with a grin, and Athena sticks her tongue out at him. “And Trucy’s probably glad to have two new kids to heckle.”

Trucy kicks him again.

“Really, anyone? Just - whenever I want to come back, I can bring anyone with me?”

“Of course! I don’t know when the Swashbuckler Spectacular will come back, with my health, or anything like that, but you all will be the first ones to know! And your whole office is welcome and anyone you want to bring along, I’ll hold the front row just for you! Because any friend of yours is a friend of mine, Athena.”

“I - yeah, of course. But - thanks. When this is all sorted out, for you guys here and me with - and everything, there’s someone who I always wanted to visit with and never got a chance.”

“Then c’mon! I’ll look forward to meeting them.”

“Y-yeah, heh, I - yeah.”

#roddy fanfics #fic: the witches of los angeles

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