#also recently realised just how much my friends and I baby eachother

[daffodilsfortomorrow]

.....

[littlexscarletxwitch]

Hiiii i have a request, but dont know if you want to do it.

Flo X reader

Flo and reader have been dating for a while. They have a happy healthy relationship. Reader is getting more famous (dj, traveling the world) and thats hard on their relationship. Flo gets jealous because reader gets alot of female attention and don’t know how to tell reader this bothers her. Also because they dont gave the time for eachother. This takes a toll on their relationship. After some time they decide to break up because they feel like they don’t give each other the time they deserve.

Maybe a year after they “move on” but after seeing each other again, feelings resurface. You can decide the ending

── ༊*·˚⋆ 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸

paring: florence pugh x fem!reader

tag(s): a bit of fluff, mostly angst, flo and r break up, i almost made myself cry, a little bit of possessive flo but we love her

warning(s): grammatical errors, unedited, not proofread

word count: 2.9k

note: I looooove how this one turned out, I had so much writing this nonnie. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it and I hope you like it, I tried my best lol. Also, she's looong, I love that xd. Also just as I was finishing it I realised you said a year later, well oops, but sometimes 6 months can feel like a whole year. Lots of love M <3

requests are open! + check my rules + masterlist <3

“Guess what?” you popped your head into your and Florence’s shared bedroom.

“What’s up?” she asked, her eyes not leaving the script she was reading. 

“I’ve got you tickets for tonight’s show. VIP for you, Ashley, Toby, Theo, whoever you want,” you said, smiling. 

She finally looked up at you, she saw the brightness in your eyes that she just couldn’t say no nor she wanted to. “That’s great, baby! Thank you,” she said, blowing you a kiss. 

“Yeah, I thought you would like to come since it’s my last show here and then the tour starts,” you said, making your way to the bed and lying next to her.

Florence mentally cursed herself, she was so caught up with her work that she had totally forgotten that you would be touring for the next six months. She felt sick to her stomach knowing you would be that long away from her, but it was your job after all. Being the most recent popular DJ opened up more doors to you, and that included a full world tour. She couldn't be prouder for you, but she also hated to be so far away from you for so long. Still, she plastered a smile on her face for your sake.

“Yeah, I would love nothing more. We will be there, of course,” she said as she pecked your lips.

[...]

With a drink on her hand, Florence was swaying her hips to the rhythm, her eyes fixed on you even from the VIP sector. She had a smile on her face until a girl showed up next to you, and she couldn't help the smile turning into a frown. 

She was well aware of the attention sometimes you would get, especially from other girls, it was no news to her. But that brunette smiling at you was getting on her last nerve.

“Come on, Flo! You love this song,” Theo, Florence’s friend, tried to get her to dance again.

As she looked back at her friend she realised you had played her favourite song, well it was actually a remix of it, a remix you had made specifically for her. She smiled at the thought of you thinking of her, so her eyes settled back on you and much to her annoyance that brunette was still there, now practically grinding on you. She wasn’t having anymore of that

Florence drank the last bit of the glass before muttering ‘I’ll be right back’ to her friends. She made her way toward you, determination written all over her face. 

“Oh, hey!” you said as you watched her from the corner of your eyes. Florence could tell you were having fun playing your songs but she could also see how tense up your shoulders were, how awkward the brunette was making you. 

“Hi,” she said in a low voice as she grabbed your chin, making you face her and smashed her lips against yours. 

You smiled through the kiss as you heard the crowd in front of you cheering, but unaware that Florence sent a death glare to the brunette while roughly and possessively kissing you. She pushed her tongue inside of your mouth, her eyes glued to the brunette as she watched her face shift into awkwardness. 

You backed away from her, pecking her lips one more time before getting back to your console to keep the party going. Florence decided to not leave your side for the rest of the night, she had to make sure to keep what was her untouched from other people. So she spent the rest of the night grinding on you, stealing kisses from time to time and sending death glare to whoever girl got too close to you.

As she swayed her hips, the thought of you alone in different parts of the world unprotected from other prying eyes upset her, she tried her best to push those thoughts away. She had tonight to make sure everyone knew you were taken and she was going to make sure of it. 

[...]

You felt on the top of the highest mountain, three shows in a week, twice a month all over Europe, Asia, and America. You felt like it couldn't get any better, but night after night the people attending would prove you wrong, making each night unique and memorable.

One of the best parts of your job was that you got to party as much as the people in your shows, you had fun along with them, a dream come true really.

After every show you would call Florence and tell her all about it, the atmosphere, the loud cheering, the dancing, the people you met. The first few weeks she had a smile on her face as she listened to you over the phone, but her smile got bitter as she would see the pictures you would post the next day. 

At first she was happy that you were having the time of your life, but that happiness turned into a dark feeling once she saw all the girls all over you. She tried her best to ignore it, expecting you to ease her mind but you never brought the topic up, not even just to reassure her that those girls were nothing.

Truth be told, you didn’t even realise they were hanging out too close to you night after night as you were too caught in doing your job. It was nothing to you, they weren't Florence. You didn’t even look at them, just when your agent would show you the pictures that were going to be posted. 

But Florence couldn’t take it anymore as she saw the last picture you posted and a girl was kissing your cheek, that was the last straw.

“Hi, baby,” you yawned as you picked up her call, too tired after another successful show. “I was just about to call you.”

“Hey,” she could hear the smile on your face and she instantly felt guilty for having thought to scream at you. 

“I just wrapped up in Spain, Barcelona was epic really, we should come here sometime.”

“Yeah?” she sniffed, her emotions being all over the place. Not just jealousy and the anger toward those women, but missing you was taking a toll on her. “If you think so, then we must,” she felt tears burning her eyes. 

“Flor, are you okay?” she heard as you shifted on the other side of the phone, worried in your tone. “You sound upset.”

“I just—,” she sniffed again, she was about to tell you everything, how she felt, the doubt going through her mind. But she just couldn’t. “When are you coming back?” she cleared her throat. 

“Well, it’s been three months, so three months left,” you chuckled, trying to ease the tension. “We are wrapping up in Europe, five more shows I believe and then—.”

“Y/n, I don’t think I can do this,” she cut you off abruptly. 

Your heart dropped, she didn’t mean that, right?

“Do what, my love?” you played dumb, not wanting to hear her next words. 

“Whatever this is,” tears were rolling down her cheeks, but her voice didn’t tremble.

“‘Whatever this is?’ You think this is whatever?” you wanted to be angry at her, but really all you felt was sadness and rejection. You loved her, she loved you. This was not whatever. 

“Long distance just isn't doing it for me,” she just replied, as if you and her hadn’t been dating for almost two and a half years.

“Isn’t doing it for you,” you scoffed. “Really? I’m working, Florence. This is my job. I’m not on sabbatical, okay? I thought you were proud… I thought you were happy about me, world touring is a big thing.”

“I know, Y/n. I–.” 

What am I doing? Florence thought. 

“No,” you cut her off. “You’re not being fair, you are—.”

“I’m not being fair?” you could sense the anger in her voice now. “You left, okay? What did you expect me to do? That I was just going to wait for you at the front door like a puppy?” she finally snapped.

“Not like a puppy, but I thought I meant more… I thought you…” you sniffed. “I guess I was just wrong.”

“I guess we both were,” she said, then silence followed. 

You took a deep breath, pushing back the tears and swallowing the lump on your throat. 

“So this is it,” you waited for her to deny your words, you wanted her to. 

“Yeah, this is it,” she said instead, her angry and irrational self talking. 

You bit down your bottom lip as hard as you could to stop the whimper that threatened to escape your lips. 

“Okay, I… um,” you sniffed. “I’ll text someone to go pick up my things. Not that I have much there anyway…

“Y/n—” she tried, but the damage was already done. 

“Goodbye, Flor,” you said, the nickname finally shattering Florence’s heart into a million pieces.

“Y/n?” she tried again, sobbing, but all she heard was the dead line on the other side. 

[...]

Was it masochist of you to watch your ex’s new movie after having broken up six months ago? Yes, most likely yes.

You told yourself that it was just a coincidence, but you won’t lie to yourself, you knew exactly what you were doing when you decided to play that film.

You weren’t sure how you felt about her, you thought you had moved on from your relationship, that you grieved it and now you were at peace with it. But watching her on the screen, watching her smile, laugh, sure she was playing a character but the resemblance to the real Florence, the Florence you knew was there. 

You huffed in annoyance at yourself as the credits played on the screen. It was enough self pity for a day, you decided to go out and have a coffee, trying your best to get your mind off of your ex and her pretty smile. 

Your legs took you to your usual coffee place without much thought. It was a route you knew by heart, it was the coffee place that was closest to your apartment, and it was also the one you and Florence would usually go to. You dryly laughed at yourself as you opened up the door, could you be any more masochist?

You took your time looking at the menu, even though it was pointless since you always order the same thing. 

“Hello, what can I get for you?” the cute waitress smiled at you. 

“Hi, can I get a black coffee and an avocado toast to go please?” you returned the smile. 

“Sure thing!” Wendy, as it read on her tag name, said. 

You moved aside, waiting for your order as Wendy took new orders from the other clients. “Hi! Can I get a black tea with oat milk and two chocolate cookies to go, please?” you heard someone say to Wendy. 

A sad smile formed on your lips as you remembered that was Florence’s order. But it was silly really to think about her, most brits order tea and you were living in London after all.

“There you go,” the person said once again, probably handling Wendy the money. 

A shiver went up your spine as the stranger’s voice echoed in your mind. That raspy low voice, it sounded so similar to one you used to hear every morning, the one that sent shivers down your spine and caused butterflies in your stomach when it whispered in your ear. You shook your head, pushing away all thoughts related to Florence. 

It cannot be her, Y/n. You told yourself. She is not fucking here. Florence is…

“Y/n?” that sweet raspy low voice asked. 

Painfully slowly you turned around to face her, afraid and excited to meet her eyes. Those soft green eyes you so loved, those gentle green eyes that used to look at you with adoration, those green eyes whose owner broke your heart.

“Hi,” you almost whispered. 

“Hey,” you noticed the corner of her lips slightly pulling upwards.

You weren’t sure what to do next and neither did Florence since her lips gaped like a fish out of water. 

“I… I have to go,” you mumbled quickly, nodding to yourself. “Yeah, I have to—.”

“Y/n, you didn’t even get your order yet,” she sweetly muttered.

“Right,” you cursed yourself mentally. “Yeah, I’ll get my coffee and then I do have to go.”

As if on cue, you heard your name being called. Unlucky for you, so was Florence’s. 

“Sit with me,” she pleaded as you grabbed your coffee and avocado toast. Before you could deny her once again, she said, “Please, Y/n.”

She sounded so sweet, so gentle, so broken and wounded. She sounded nothing like the woman who broke up with you during a phone call. 

You made the mistake to look at her pickle green eyes and there was no way you could say no. 

“Five minutes,” you muttered, making your way to a free table, sure she was following behind you.

“Fifteen tops.”

“Ten,” you countered back.

She cleared her throat as the two of you took a seat opposite of eachother. “How… um.. How have you been?” she stared.

“Busy, really busy,” you took a sip of your coffee, buying yourself some time. A half lie, the tour ended 3 months ago so you weren’t that busy.

“I know it’s been a while and I just…” Florence couldn’t find the right words to say.

She had been waiting for this opportunity ever since you hung up the phone, she wanted to explain herself to you, she wanted to tell you what was going through her mind when she ended the most beautiful relationship she had ever had. She wanted to call you so many times after breaking up, but never found the courage to do so. She knew this was her only chance, she knew she couldn’t mess up. 

“That night…” you felt tears burning in the corner of your eyes, but you refused to let them roll down your cheeks.  “Before you called I was looking at some pictures you posted, and I just couldn’t stop myself from thinking how much fun you were having without me,” she cleared her throat. “And all I could see was all those women around you, touching you, smiling at you,” she humorlessly chuckled. “Fuck, I even remeber one was kissing your cheek or something.”

Your eyes winded as the memory came back, you wanted to tell her what happened: that the girl was beyond drunk, that you were just being polite, that your photographer took the picture without you noticing but you pushed off the girl as soon as her lips touched your cheek. You wanted to tell her when she called you, but she never let you explain it.

“And I just got so jealous and mad… and sad because I missed you,” she sniffed. “My emotions were all over the place and I just didn’t handle the situation how I would have wanted to.”

“That night I was going to tell you. I felt so guilty about that stupid kiss. Nothing happened, she was just really drunk and somehow they snapped a quick picture,” you explained to her nonetheless. “I didn’t want to post that picture, I wanted to delete it, but they thought it was a good picture so I couldn’t have a say in the matter,” you forced yourself to meet her gaze. “I want you to know that nothing ever happened.” 

A weight lifted off of both yours and Florence’s shoulders.

“I should have talked to you about my feelings.”

“I should have forced them out of you,” you chuckled.

“Yeah, maybe…” she said, lost in her own thoughts while a thin smile formed on her lips. “Are you… are you seeing someone?” she cofed, trying to act nonchalant.

You bite your bottom lip, trying to hold back the grin. “I am not,” you licked your lips, suddenly feeling them dry. “Are you?” you almost whispered. 

“No,” she quickly shook her head. “I am not.”

Silence embraced the two of you as yours and Florence’s heart started quickly and loudly beating. 

“So, I…”

“Maybe we…”

You both giggled as you both wanted to speak at the same time.

“You first,” you smiled at her.

“Have dinner with me,” she simply said. 

Once again you took your bottom lip in between your teeth. “Florence, I don’t know if…”

“Please, Billie misses you,” your stomach shrunk at her comment.

“Fuck,” you mumbled under your breath but she still heard you which made her smile. “Just Billie?” you asked teasingly and with a bit of hope. 

“No, not just Billie. I miss you too,” she slowly reached for your hand across the table, scared you were going to pull it away from hers. She let out the breath she was holding when you squeezed her hand, that was progress. “Just the three of us, dinner at mine, please?”

From the moment you saw her at the cafe you knew you were back at her mercy, who were you trying to fool? 

“Fine,” you pretend to sound annoyed, but she knew you were only messing with her since you flashed her a smile. 

You would always come back to her, you knew it and you were sure she knew it as well.

Likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated! <3

-M

[whoregaylorenzo]

DANORGE

this is from the ship ask game but I decided to make this it's own post bc danorge is special okay? okay.

first of all, an ideal daniel ship for me is always him being a perfect babygirl and being treated accordingly. just like I would. he's my country wife, my baby boy, my hot piece of ass and he needs to know is. now, george is the perfect man for this.

the dynamic

I'm gonna be honest, this ship sort of snuck up on me, I didn't expect it to take off quite as much? like, I know Daniel likes the young guys, bc he likes fucking around and fucking with them bc they think he's fun and look up to him you know? he likes the peer pressure. and george didn't seem the kind of guy to be that subjectible to this bc he's always been very focused, correct, driven, etc. although as I got to know him a bit better I realised he does like some shenanigans (eurotruck with charles you will always be famous.).

anyway, I think one of the reasons why their friendship grew so well is that george is so incredibly earnest in his admiration of the people around him, and fiercely loyal. I think george would never be that guy who has to act cool around his friends. he's the type of guy to hype his friends up to others, and that's what he does with Daniel. like that post that goes sth like hyping my boyfriend up before he enters a room like you better clap for my specialest little boy. that's literally george with daniel. that's his babygirl, his country wife.

now, I think that perhaps daniel liked the way george engaged with his banter from early on, like when he asked for his merch, I mean that was still fanboy ish behaviour, but more recently, when Dan struggled, he was so so loyal and always defending Daniel to the press, I think he really did become a close friend. emotional support brit. like I said, george is really really loyal, you can see that in his other relationships with drivers (alex and lewis mainly) and it seems like he's really a safe person for daniel. I mean look how danny clings to him. adorable. (sth sth the child in me is safe with you etc). I just love seeing how genuinely at ease dan seems in every interaction with george..

important moments

I already put in some links up there but doing a collection of some more here.

all the media pen interactions are gold: x / x / x / x / x / x / x

hyping his boy up: x / x / x / x / x / (also remember the time he said to Lando 'if you're curious about winning just ask Danny' bc I still think he deserves a good * for that. lova ya georgie)

btw here's a good danorge post of some moments as well

the helmet swap....tears man, tears....

just general cuteness and shenanigans: x / x (recent addition) / x / x / x / x / x / x / x / x / x / x / x / x / x / x / x / x / x

rpf pairing

okay soo actually AGES ago, me and jay @dnfstrategist used to talk about this danorge au that was like, george being a business/law student with daniel as his silly, artsy/sporty boyfriend (I don't quite remember, we definitely need to revisit that) and I am still gagging for an AU like that. like them as a couple? so so loyal to eachother, enjoying all the shenanigans, george the strong dependable one wanting to praise and spoil his bf always, daniel so fond and happy and at ease with george...bragging about his smart successful husband...they are marriage for life material fr

they have SO much potential it makes me sad that there is so little danorge writers out there.... there's mainly a few little smutty fics (which is great ofc!) and then one longfic which....oh boy I tell you, def a big big rec for this but be careful it absolutely destroyed me but such amazing writing fr fr.

and I think that's all for now! if I think of more stuff I'll add it later but I think this is it...if u made it all the way here thank u for ur attention! and anon I hope this makes up for the wait <3

[khaleesiofalicante]

Hello Dani. How are you doing? I hope your infection has gotten better and that you're doing well.

This is a life update bc I feel like I haven't been here for a while even though I've been keeping up with LBAF. It's been VERY interesting to see just how different this new gen is and also a little sad about how they're not that close. But it makes sense especially since their parents aren't that close anymore either. It's very relatable since my cousins and I don't hang out as much either since we're all busy with uni and other stuff now. I find comfort in the fact that they all still love eachothe and will show up for one another.

Anyway, I'm doing really great. I'm very surprised by the way my life is going right now. I has my exams in December and I did REALLY FUCKING WELL. Like I actually passed with one of the highest marks (which was very surprising). I also became the head of the Debate Club, which I'm very happy about (a little disappointed too because now I can't try out for Literature Club head but it's okay).

This is probably the first time in my life where I'm content with who I am because I'm having fun, learning new things and being active in uni and I've found a great group of friends. Back in high school I used to feel the need to have something romantic in my life, but I don't feel that way anymore because I'm very content with myself at the moment.

My family and I recently went for a much needed weekend getaway and that place had really bad service so it was a very peaceful holiday where we just relaxed and spent time together. There was also this really beautiful butterfly garden and I never wanted to leave that place. Here are some pics for you.

Anyway, I hope you're doing really well and taking care of yourself. Your dedication for LBAF and being so consistent with your writing is incredibly inspiring. Thankyou for being so amazing.

Love, Yana

YANA BABY HELLO.

First of all, thank you for the flower pics. I looooooove them. I'm glad you got to have a nice getaway with your family. Getaways are important. Keep prioritising them. They're important.

SECONDLY. CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR EXAM RESULT. Very proud of you!

I'm so happy to see you doing well and being a bad bitch ( and captain of debate club??? how very rosewood of you ma'am)

Self-contentment is a beautiful, beautiful thing and I'm so glad that you are realising it and experiencing it so early on. Keep doing things that make you feel good, Yana, that's what life is all about.

Sending you more love and good vibes. Thank you for sharing your serotonin with me 💙

[itsana004]

ANA I AM CURIOUS ABOUT HOW YOU THINK OF GUACHE/NISTRO I know you greatly appreciate droite but what about her partner in crime? 👁️

Omg I did realise at one point that I almost never talk about that guy as much as I should, so here lays my truest thoughts on Gauche/Nistro

•How do I feel about this character

I ABSOLUTELY ADORE HIS CHARACTER! He's so fun to watch and I feel deeply ashamed I used to feel differently about him at the beginning because of a stupid ship and that was such an embarrassing phase (I didn't engage in any ship drama thank god about that but my notp clouded my judgement AGHRHHH) but my taste improved luckily overtime and better late than never to make amends of my past mistakes

His upbeat personality is fun and all but SERIOUSLY GET A MAN LIKE HIM WHO CAN DO BOTH! This man can be a dork, high spirited, an idiot and be a hilarious character giving this big dumb energy muscular man while also being super skilled, intelligent in his own way and writers bothered to give a little bit of backstory and NOT be this one dimensional comic relief character like I thought he would be at the beginning??? LIKE?? I LOVE THAT??? AND FROM THE RECENT POLL HE'S A CERTIFIED MALEWIFE SO THERE'S THAT

And his interactions with Droite omg (I LOVE MY BABIES SO MUCH MUST PROTECT THEM AT ALL COSTS) WE. NEEDED. MORE. BANTER AND MORE SCENES OF THEM DOING THEIR JOB WHERE THEY JUST SQUABBLE (please why they never showed at least one frame of Droite and Gauche dueling tf, I'm not satisfied by that mind controlled Gauche tag duel only).

His design is so cool as well! I love he just discarded his work outfit as soon as he quit, like finally a character that proves me wrong about Zexal characters not having a wardrobe with the same smelly outfit in their home other than Kotori and few others (I'M LOOKING AT YOU CASWELL).

Also the Starmann costume...sorry but I can't take it seriously 😂 but I love the message behind it and how it is tied to his childhood where he and Droite lived in the streets and dueling became their star of hope.

•All the people I ship romantically with this character

Sorry but I don't ship him romantically with anyone, not even Droite and I'll explain why in a bit. For the other characters he has interactions and chemistry with they are all minors so nope.

•My non-romantic OTP for this character

This has to be Droite and Gauche. I can't see them in a romantic lens, to me they share more of a familial bond/sibling relationship more than anything, and the fact Droite found love in someone else kind of furthers my case.

The thought of Droite being the only family he ever had in a world where he was born with none feels more meaningful to me than any common romantic tropes. It also means they share a stronger bond as in family always comes first and would be there for eachother no matter what. The media lacks this kind of friendship and bond between a man and a woman who aren't related and seeing them in this light feels like a breath of fresh air and I'm here for it! Also did you guys notice the matching bracelet they share?? I would love to know the canon meaning behind it, but for now I interpret it as a symbol of their relationship which I interpret it as familial, just like Shark and Rio's rings.

•My unpopular opinion about this character

Honestly I'm not sure... I don't think I have any other than the fact I don't ship him with Droite romantically?

•One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon

Oh hohoho, I guess I have only a few things to say

I just think ending up liking a side character in Zexal is just hell, period, but goodness

Umm, Zexal, when were you planning to ever show, or rather, why hide, the fact GAUCHE HAS HIS OWN NUMBER CARD???

HMMM???

Also I would have loved to see more interactions between Gauche and Alito. Despite their rocky start it is clearly shown they would make good friends. There were even drawn parallels between them where past Alito was a lot like Gauche, and they share the same fighting spirit. Anyway they would be good friends... too bad them being in good terms was never shown...

Also this is not a criticism but more of a wish where they expanded more in his and Droite's past and how they became elite and how he got that scar in his face. They never explained it or even shown a flashback of it. And because of how underdeveloped and mysterious they left it out to be I'm really having a confusing time understanding the true nature of his relationship with people in the Tower - they showed him having this big rivalry with Kaito and them being pissed around each other but in Spartan City, once Kaito saw him and Droite, he was smiling to the point his eyebrows became straight?? I want to know the lore stuff basically that I'll never get to knoww

Sorry if I missed anything but here is my answer!

[iwadori]

hii i saw ur taking requests and I wanted to ask if you could do a fic with the miya twins,suna and iwa comforting their s/o after they have a dream of them cheating on her? tysm!

Cheating Misunderstandings with the haikyu boys (Osamu,Atsumu)

Word Count:1.8K

Genre:angst,fluff

masterlist

AN: This was kind of on the lines of what you wanted, but I hope you enjoy it. Also you guys will see an ‘Empress appearance’ in this work....so don’t kill me.

Osamu:

You were walking to miya onigiri ready to pick up Samu to go home

But when you got to the front door you see Osamu in the shop winding touching another girl

You couldn’t see the girl or Osamu properly because of the angle you were at

But you wouldn��t say your eyes were decieving you, so you did what you should do turn on your heel and get out of there.

You were back at your apartment and you were fuming, you were at your desk and decided that distracting yourself with your mountainous amount of paperwork that you had for your job would be better than sitting down and stewing over watching your boyfriend cheat on you.

‘How long has this been going on,’ you thought to yourself ‘Who even is she? She can’t be a worker’ since you knew everyone that worked there and the manager Empress would definitely not let a worker get with Osamu since you were besties after all.

Distracting yourself, obviously didn’t work and you sent yourself into a spiral of social stalking, trying to find this girl. Which didn’t work, as you only saw her hair and her height which was around a foot shorter than Osamu’s. ‘Stupid Osamu’ you thought, how could he do this? Why would you do this?

You wanted to cry, you were going to cry. Outside you heard a car door shut, and looking out your window you saw Osamu walking out the car with his keys in his mouth and bags (presumably food) in his hand.  

You heard some knocking, well kicking at your front door and a light shout of “Babe, can you open the door my arms our pretty full here.” You didn’t answer, you didn’t even move cause you knew if you saw his face it’ll most likely be him saying ‘Y/N im sorry, but theres someone else’ the thought alone made you cringe. You were knocked out of your thoughts with again the kicking of the door and Osamu saying with a laugh “C’mon babe all you really gonna leave a guy stranded out here, ive got your favourite too and its going to get cold”

You reluctantly opened the door, not actually greeting Osamu and just going back to your room to pack away your paper work and close your laptop. To your surprise Osamu was behind you and gave you a quick kiss to your cheek, which you would usually smile and ease into but today you cringed and quickly moved. Making Osamu look at you with a side eye.

By time he was setteled in you were sitting down at the dinner table eating, with the sound of Gordon Ramsey’s Hell Kitchen filling your awkward silence. Osamu did try to speak to you but you always just responded with “yeah,” “sure,” or “maybe.” Short simple answers that Osamu definitely didn’t like.

When dinner was over and it was the time when you two usually watched a shitty reality tv show together, you decided to go to bed early to avoid any more awkward conversation with Osamu. But before you could clamber into bed, Osamu grabs your arm saying “Y/N, what’s wrong with you?”

“What do you mean Samu?” you say with a forced smile on your face even though he couldn’t see it, you just did so he didn’t see you start to tear up “nothing’s wrong with me.”

“Are you Y/N?”

“mhm” you murmured trying to shrug off his hold, you sniffled a bit (attempting to do it quietly) but he heard it.

“No y/n, what’s wrong can’t you just turn around.” The force of you pulling away and he pulling you close, left you falling onto your bed and the tears just started to fall. Osamu immediately crouched down to your eye line “whats wrong love?” he said with a tender voice.

You shook your head in response, “what’s wrong?? Please tell me Y/N.”

“Why would you do that to me?” you say your voice breaking as the tears streamed your face. Osamu started to panick seeing you cry.

“Do what Y/N, what do you mean?”

“You cheated on me? Was I not enough for you? Don’t you love me anymore.”

“Who Y/N!Who.?”

“You touched her, I saw you. I can’t believe you would do that. In public as well” you accused “How could you do that to me.”

“Y/N, baby listen I don’t know what you mean?”

“Don’t call me that Miya, you’re such a fucking liar oh my god.”

“Can you please explain to me what you’re talking about?”

“You. In the shop. I saw you, touching her” you say scowling saying the last line as if It was poisonous.

“In the shop? What do you-” a spark flashed in Osamus eyes before he stood up and started pulling you out the room “You need to come with me.”

“Miya, what are you doing? I’m not going anywhere with you.” you groaned

“Yes you are, and stopped calling me that.”  

He dragged you outside to his car and opened the door for you, standing expectedly waiting for you to get in. “Im not getting in,” you say folding your arms

“Oh yes you are. Just get in the car.”

“But im in my roblox pyjamas” you groaned again feeling like a child.

“And you still hot babe don’t worry” he said winking at you ushering you into the car “Just get in it’ll be a quick ride anyways.”

You pulled outside of onigiri miya and Osamu begin to drag you out again taken you to the office where the security cameras are. He did something on the community and pulled up a date and time which was the time you were at the store earlier.

Playing on the screen was the recording and the incident which you saw before, but this one was a differnet angle. You saw a girl walking one way and Osamu walking the over with a drink in his hand, him spilling the drink on her and cleaning her off with a paper towel. Which you thought was him groping and touching her.

Your cheeks heated up hard in embarrasment, as you realised how you acted and how you got it all wrong. You saw Osamu with a glint in his eye and smirk on his face and before he could say anything you said “Dont. Let’s get back to the car.”  

All was forgotten on your car ride home and you decided to discuss eachothers days (skipping out the ‘cheating’ part.) However after you watched you shows and finally gotten into bed, when Osamu was holding you right against his chest (so close where you could hear his heartbeat) he said, “Y/N, although we agreed to not talk about this incident...even though I will definitely be telling Empress, I just want to let you know that I will never even think about cheating on you let alone actually doing it, I love you so much that the idea of cheating is so uncomprehendable I don’t even want to think about it.”

“Love you ‘Samu, and I'm sorry for making this into a big old thing when I could’ve just asked you about it.” you say in response

“It’s okay babe,” he said kissing your forehead “It’s okay.”

Atsumu

You and Atsumu have been dating fairly recently meeting in your through your friend Empress who was the manager at Atsumu’s brother Osamu’s shop Onigiri Miya.

You’ve only been together 6 months and you’re ready to tell him that you love him

However you being the perfectionist that you are, wanted it to be perfect so of course you had to practice on friend, Empress’ boyfriend Hajime.

“Okay so go.”

“Atsumu, I think you’re a stand-up guy and you’re pretty cute can I love ya.” you said punching Iwa on the arm.

“Y/N, you can’t say that.” Empress said face palming.

“Okay, Atsumu I’ve fallen for you and I can’t get up?”

“No dad jokes Y/N.” Hajime said shaking his head

“Why theyre soo funny, what about Atsumu you’re a pain in my ass.” you said winking at Empress.

“Gosh Y/N! Take this seriously for once.” Hajime said blushing at your obvious innuendo.

“Well how did you two confess you undying love to eachother?” you asked and smiled at both their reactions, knowing that they definitely haven’t done that.

“Just say your confession Y/N,” Empress said rolling her eyes

“Okay Atsumu,” you said taking a deep breath “Ever since I met you after your brother spilt a drink on me at his shop and you tried to cheer me up with your terrible jokes I knew that you were the one for me. I love your passion, your drive your determination to make me feel better all the time even when I don’t need you too. I love being with you and I...”

Hajime looked at you expectedly, “I love you,” you said smiling “There I said it I love you!”

“Oh my gosh Y/N! That was so cute you should definitely sa-”

“What the fuck Y/N!” exclaimed a voice next to you “You love this clown.”

“Who are you calling a clown,” said Iwa squaring up to Atsumu making both you and Empress roll your eyes at the heeping testoterone filling the area.  

“Haji let’s go,” said Empress dragging her boyfriend away “and Y/N I'm pretty sure you two need to talk.”

When Hajime and Empress were an ear shot away, Atsumu looked at you with a glare. “So Y/N, is this what you’re doing now slu-”

“Don’t even go there ‘tsumu, you’re such an ass sometimes.” You say walking away “And by the way I was practicing with Iwa to say I fucking love you, you asshole.”

You already stormed off before Atsumu yelled, “Wait! You love me?”

“Of course I do you ass.” you say scowling.

Atsumu jogs over to you and says, “I love you too Y/N” he picks you up and tosses you about in the air, practically doing sommersaults, “Im so happy! Wait till I tell Osamu bout this he’s probably hasn’t told his girlfriend about this.”

“Babe, they’ve been dating for years” You said with a laugh “But go ahead ‘tsumu tell the world.”

“I’m sorry for misunderstanding things.”

“And...?”

“And I'm sorry for calling Iwa a clown, knowing he would definitely beat my ass.”

“And..?”

“And I'm sorry for being an ass.” he said with his head down.

“You are an ass Atsumu,” you said with a smile “But you’re my favourite pain in the ass.” You said winking at him making him burst out with laughter at your stupid innuedo.

Whenever Atsumu sees Osamu he tells him about how much you both love eachother, which always leads them into an argument about who has the better girlfriend and who loves their girlfriend more which always has you laughing.

AN: do you guys see the connection between the two?? Cause if you see the connection I’LL LOVE YOU FOREVER :3 Hope you guys enjoyed it, what do you guys think?

[daverygalskisbff]

Pidge & Lance friendship/sibling dynamic headcanons?

hi! thank you sm for asking this!! i didn't think I'd be able to come up with anything but it was surprisingly super fun to do, I really liked writing this. I'm sorry it took so long to get out tho, I've had to spend like 90% of my time on the yearbook recently and i couldnt really do much else :/. but the yearbook is now finished and so is this hc list! i hope you enjoy it :)

let us begin 

Lance and Pidge! 

they didn't actually become friends until after the whole voltron debacle started 

we saw that lance had tried to befriend pidge back at the garrison, but (obviously) she had never been interested

like, at all 

so lance just kind of assumed she didn't like him and gave up after a while 

they're mostly, like, acquaintances, for the first few weeks of joining voltron - it takes pidge a little while to warm up to lance bc she thinks he's just an annoying party-boy, and lance thinks pidge is kind of full of herself

once they realise how much they have in common, though… 

all hell breaks loose. more or less. 

they play a lot of video games together

at first they only have killbot phantasm one, so they give themselves new rules and "multitask levels" to make it more interesting after they both inevitably master the game 

this usually involves having to defeat levels by themselves while the other person throws things at them 

the two of them also make sure to spend at least an hour every space mall-visit searching for new games, and pidge likes to code things for them to play when they run out  

lance has a list of nicknames for all of their teammates, but he makes a point to have some variety in his pidge names for the different occasions that he uses them in 

this list includes but is not limited to: pidgey/pidgeon (self explanatory), pea (short joke and green joke wrapped in one), birdie (for when he's trying to be nice), and stripe (after the evil gremlin in the movie gremlins)

pidge isn't a big fan of music, but she hates to work in silence, so lance will come hang out with her while she works and just talk about whatever

she doesn't fully listen most of the time, but lance doesn't mind because he never really talks about anything important 

their other teammates aren't exactly used to this dynamic, tho 

keith, staring at lance as he explains in detail the "sith lord jar jar binks" theory: how do you… focus? with him doing this? 

pidge: it's kinda like a white noise machine. I just tune him out

lance: first of all, racist, second of all- 

pidge also uses lance as her main source of ideas for low-stakes projects to work on on the side 

she even lets him help her make them, a privilege gifted to absolutely no one else (except hunk, but lance maintains that he doesn't count bc he's an engineer and makes stuff anyways) 

so far, they have made a (semi) functioning hoverboard, lightsabers (they can't hurt people, tho, much to pidge's disappointment), and a grappling hook

their most recent project is trying to figure out how to recreate spider-man's web shooters 

lance: i need to be spider-man, pidge. i was born to be spider-man. i can feel it. 

pidge: y'know lance that's actually super interesting, because I distinctly remember that spider-man actually made his own web shooters, he didn't just sit on the counter and watch as his friend did all the work 

lance: …

pidge's laptop has a bunch of kinds of entertainment downloaded onto it - music, movies, like three tv shows - and once lance learns this he refuses to let it go until he gets her to agree to watch something with him

one of the shows she has just so happens to be criminal minds. lance clings to this like his life depends on it 

lance, over comms: hey baby girl i need you to work me some magic 

pidge, trying to hack into a galra base: leandro martin mcclain I swear to god I am going to release your location to every sentry on this ship and I am going to watch them kill you over these security cameras and I am going to laugh 

needless to say, they make fun of eachother a lot 

every day. about everything. 

lance, dropping a spoon on the floor at breakfast: :/

pidge: lmao look at you. outstanding coordination. they really should've taught you how to juggle at clown school 

lance: first of all fuck you, second of all it was called performer's camp and i bet they wouldn't even let you in

in true sibling fashion, they never let eachother forget anything embarrassing. no matter what. 

pidge: (is quiet for more than three minutes) 

lance: hey remember that time at the garrison when a pretty girl asked if she could borrow a pencil and you panicked and said you didn't have any because you can't spell

pidge: I'm telling shiro on you that was one time- 

however, despite all of their teasing, they really do care about each other a lot

pidge is the first to hug lance when he steps out of the healing pods, and lance will bend over backwards to cheer pidge up on a bad day 

sometimes literally. never tell your found family siblings that you're a trained acrobat, kids.

lance organises little sleepovers with allura for days when pidge is feeling particularly dysphoric, so they can do traditionally "girly" things like paint their nails and put on makeup 

pidge doesn't usually do that sort of thing on a regular day, so it's kind of like a nice reminder that she's allowed to be feminine if she wants to be

originally a rule of these sleepovers was that everyone had to do one thing that pidge asked for before the night ended, but they had to scrap that rule after… complications, in one of lance's dares 

(in defense of allura, it had been over 10,000 years since she had her ears pierced, and it's not like she could see what the (professional) beautician was doing at the time, so really the fact lance ended up in a healing pod with an ear infection wasn't even her fault. the piercings do suit him, tho, so she maintains she did a very good job regardless)

the three of them usually end up cuddling in a little pile when they finally go to sleep 

lance has a sixth sense about knowing which bodily function pidge is neglecting at any given time 

he calls it his Big Brother Eye, and only realised he had inadvertently made a book reference when shiro praised him for his culture 

lance: big brother sees everything, pidgeon

shiro: oh, you've read 1984, lance? 

lance: um. is that like an album or something. 

anyways, lance tends to make frequent stops to pidge's room and/or lab to remind her to eat, drink, sleep, etc. sometimes all three at once but only in emergencies. 

pidge rarely actually wants to take a break, tho, so lance channels his best "my sister had kids when i was ten and i have been bargaining with small children for almost a decade" voice to convince her to leave 

lance: okay birdie, i know the coffee tastes good, but y'know what would taste even better? a sandwich. maybe even some ice cream. you feel like ice cream today kiddo? 

pidge, hopped up on three days of no sleep and expired space coffee coran thought it would be safe to give her: (stares directly into lance's eyes) where are you

lance and pidge both get the most homesick out of the team, so sometimes they'll just chill together in silence for a while. lance reminds pidge of her brother, and pidge reminds lance of one of his sisters, so their company is like an extra bit of comfort. they help each other a lot when it gets really difficult 

my askbox is still very much open for requests, btw, so if anyone has any ideas feel free to send them in!

[atla-hcs-and-bakoda]

Bato’s Backstory

ok so this is gonna be long, buckle up. This is my personal interpretation of bato’s backstory, it likely makes no canonical or reasonable sense, but canon does not exist and i make the rules. this is purely self-indulgent crack-treated-seriously. This is what all the other hcs, unless stated otherwise, will be set in.

Note about Bato: in my interpretation of him, he has teal/cyan eyes and darker brown hair than in the show, his skin tone has not changed.

(unfortunately this is not a zukka au, just a bakoda one. bato’s backstory is kind of an au in my mind, so when i do ship zukka, its not in this au)

(the bold letters at the beginning of the paragraphs are for accessibility)

‘Present’ (only a few months after zuko’s coronation) ages: Hakoda & Bato - 41 Kya - 42 Iroh - 65 Ozai - 47

under the cut because oh boy this is long, sorry asdfghfd

So, our story begins in the fire nation, about 59 AG, Iroh is the 25 year old crown prince, and recently had a child with his wife, Minami, on the coldest day of winter. They named him Shui, and they, quite frankly, spoilt him with their love. Minami stayed in the castle while Iroh was at war, and always sang to Shui while putting his hair up or putting him to bed.

One day, when Shui was 9, Azulon decided to take his family to Ember Islands on vacation, like the royal family has been doing for generations. However, there was a bad storm, and the ship got thrown near the south. Little Shui followed Iroh onto the deck, and fell overboard when a big wave hit the other side of the boat, rocking it and making him fall.

The royal family and crew tried to save him, but the waves dragged him under, and once the storm cleared, he was presumed dead. Iroh and Minami mourned the loss of their first son, who died so young that he hardly got to live life at all. Ozai mourned to a minor extent, as he was 15 at the time and wasn’t as bad as he is in the present, but not for as long as Shui’s parents, or grandfather, did.

Meanwhile, in the southern water tribe, little 9 year old Hakoda was wandering down at the seaside with his father when he came across a young boy unconscious in the snow, the cold water nearly freezing him to death. His father hurried him back to the tribe with the young boy’s body. For days, Hakoda sat beside the bed, rarely moving from the spot, keeping watch on the mystery boy. And eventually, he woke up.

Hakoda introduced himself once the boy was fully awake, but when asked his name, the boy said “i...i don’t remember...” So, instead, Hakoda decided to pick a name for him; Bato. The boy agreed to the name, and after a week, got adopted by one of the tribesmen, a close friend of Hakoda’s father. After that, the two children were an unstoppable duo, they did many successful pranks on everyone, including Hakoda’s mother, Kanna.

However, every once in a while, Bato would blurt out something without thinking, and when questioned, wouldn’t be able to remember it at all. For instance, Bato and Hakoda were once watching the stars late at night, when Bato pointed at a constellation and called it Druk. Hakoda laughed, but Bato insisted that was its name. Hakoda asked where Bato learned that, since thats not what their tribe calls it, and Bato had no recollection of learning it.

(This continued well into teenagehood, when Bato realised at the ripe old age of 14 that he was, in fact, in love with his best friend. He didn’t come out for a long time, in fear of his tribe’s reaction. Deep down he knew they’d accept him with open arms, but his anxiety said otherwise.)

At 12, there was a fire nation raid while Bato was at the seaside, and he recognised both the ship and flag instantly despite not being told prior about the Southern Raiders. He ran to tell the chief, and thanks to his quick reaction, saved the tribe to a degree. Many waterbenders still died, however.

At 15, Bato and Hakoda went ice-dodging with their respective fathers- and eachother. Hakoda recieved the mark of the wise, and Bato recieved the mark of the brave.

One night at 15, they were cuddling in Hakoda’s bed (because thats what best friends do, of course. its cold, no other reason, totally not) when Hakoda noticed Bato’s eye color; Teal. not the regular water tribe blue, not a dark blue, or even a light blue, but pure Teal. Although hakoda would still argue to this day that bato’s eyes are cyan. When questioned about his eye color, Bato shrugged and brushed it off as an uncommon trait. But Hakoda realised nobody else in the tribe had cyan eyes, just blue.

Then, at 16, the boys got into a bad avalanche that resulted in Hakoda getting knocked out. Bato woke up hours later, and pulled his best friend out of the snow. He realised Hakoda wasnt breathing, and started to cry, taking his gloves off to cling to Hakoda and try feel the warmth of his pulse, to no avail. He closed his eyes and cried, when his hands lit on fire. When he realised what he just did, he put the flame out and made a plan, carrying Hakoda to the dog sled quite a bit from the avalanche, and set them on course for the tribe while he carefully lit his hands back on fire after a few attempts, and kept Hakoda warm. 

Just before they got to the tribe, Hakoda started breathing again, shallowly, and his father quickly took both of them to the healer when they arrived back. This time, it was Bato who sat beside the bed and waited for Hakoda to wake up, refusing to eat much until his friend woke up.

He never told anyone about his bending.

A few months later, Hakoda met and started dating Kya, and Bato’s heart broke. he was happy for hakoda, he really was, but deep down it still hurt him to see him with someone else.

At 20, Hakoda’s father went off to war.  At 22, Hakoda became Chief, and Bato became the second-in-command.

At 23, Hakoda proposed to Kya after like 20 failed attempts at carving a betrothal necklace. Bato’s heart broke a tiny bit more, but he ignored it to be happy for his friend. Bato had to sleep alone for the first time since he joined the southern water tribe, he didn’t sleep much when alone.

2 years later, at 25, Sokka was born, and Bato babysat him a lot when Hakoda and Kya were busy. Bato admittedly vented to baby sokka quite a bit, and showed him very minor firebending tricks he practiced during sleepless nights, which was most nights.

At 26, Katara was born, and Bato now babysat two little children, both of which he adored with all his heart. He himself is infertile, so Katara and Sokka were the closest thing he had to his own children.

Things went mostly peacefully for years, until 34, when Kya got killed. After the raid, Hakoda wouldnt eat for days at a time, completely depressed and exhausted. Bato would offer him small plates of food and sit with him, letting him vent or cry or whatever Hakoda needed to do to get the stress and pain out. He also looked after Sokka and Katara while Hakoda couldn’t, and usually slept next to Hakoda’s bed, watching over the chief, along with his kids, as both children were terrified to sleep by themselves, Hakoda was scared of losing them, and Bato couldn’t bare the thought of not keeping them safe.

After years of recovering, Hakoda eventually had to head out to war with the men of the tribe, Bato included. Bato’s heart broke watching Sokka beg to come with them, but he knew it was for the best.

3 months after leaving, Bato came out to Hakoda in the Chieftan’s private room in the boat, and Hakoda accepted him with open arms, and promised to not tell anyone until Bato was ready. Bato fell a lot more in love.

At 5 months, he started very carefully dropping hints to Hakoda that he likes him, slightly-too-friendly-to-be-platonic compliments, cuddling him in hakoda’s room “because its cold” (they were nowhere near cold climates), and other vaugely homoerotic stuff like that. All of it went over Hakoda’s head.

(At 6 months he straight up told Hakoda at night on the deck “Your my stars, Hakoda. Whenever i’m lost, you always bring me home.”, and Hakoda responded “Thanks Bato, I’m happy your my friend too.”, Bato stayed awake all night in utter disbelief. He still teases Hakoda about it.)

1 year after leaving, Bato realised he might not be as much of a guy as he thought he was. He silently decided to put that train of thoughts on hold until the war was over. (In his heart he knew the war would never be over until the fire nation won. especially with sozin’s comet only a year away and- he doesnt remember what sozin’s comet is.)

When his arm got burned, he burned the soldier right back with his good arm out of sight of everyone else, and managed to shove them overboard before the pain hit him. He’s always had a high pain tolerance.  After the fight ended, Hakoda carried Bato to the abbey, and they had a tearful goodbye, where Bato quietly confessed his love as Hakoda walked out the room. Hakoda thought about it until he saw Bato again.

When they reunited, Hakoda confessed his love back to Bato, and they kissed right in the open, it took a lot of self control for the other tribesmen to not cheer, they had known for literally forever, the only person in the tribe who didnt know bato was in love with hakoda was hakoda.

Somehow, it took until the war was over for Sokka and Katara to find out they had a step-dad. They already considered Bato to be their second dad, so not much exactly changed.

The day of Zuko’s coronation, Bato got talking with Iroh, and when the topic came to children, Iroh explained how both his sons were dead, one dying at 9 from a storm, and the other dying at 20 from war. When Iroh says his youngest (eldest?) son’s name, Shui, Bato remembers the storm, and Iroh notices Bato’s rare cyan eyes.

They have a nice reunion, although Bato has to sit down for a while to process all this and figure out his family tree. He decides not to tell Hakoda yet, but he does spend a while walking through the palace with Iroh and remembering parts of his early childhood. He cant bring himself to go into the room of firelord portraits.

A month after zuko’s coronation, he sits Hakoda down and explains that he’s a bender, and he’s apparently fire nation royalty. Hakoda gets temporarily mad, but eventually calms down and hugs Bato when his friend told him that his firebending saved both himself and hakoda, and that he would never be like his forefathers or uncle. Hakoda takes a while to fully accept it, but eventually warms up (heh) to the concept, and continues to use Bato as a personal space heater.

Two months after zuko’s coronation, he finally decides to tackle the “i’m not as much as a guy as i thought” issue, and he decides to go to Iroh and Toph for advice over tea, where Iroh suggests some wise stuff, but Toph simply explains what non-binary is, and suggests Bato may be Demiboy. (Although Bato prefers to call himself Demiguy, he doesnt like being called a boy) The Gender Crisis continues for about another week, and takes another half a month for him to come out to Hakoda. Bato was somewhat internally afraid he wouldnt be counted as one of the men, but Hakoda was overwhelmingly supportive, and admitted that he knew Bato wasn’t exactly cis, he just never knew the words to use.

Bato spends a while at the palace after the coronation to get his bearings on being half fire nation and a prince, he learns purple is a very good color on him.(Hakoda later jokes that it was foreshadowing for Bato realising he was enby, as he wasnt blue or red)

He bonds quite a bit with Zuko, Iroh, and Toph during his stay, but eventually goes back to the southern water tribe, the place he truly considers home. Although, he does go and visit the fire nation every once in a while. He even goes to Ember Islands and has a vacation day with both of his families.

After about two years, He finally makes a betrothal necklace for Hakoda, with the symbol of the water tribe on it and flames coming up from the waves, both of them totally cry happy tears when he proposes privately under the light of the aurora.

[herestheteaig]

What should I do??

Hi, I don’t really know if anyone will see this but I'm gonna try, just incase. If you do choose to respond, you can be as brutally honest & unbiased as you’d like, I’m not easily offended.

I am f19, and have been in a relationship with m18 for almost 6 years. For the sake of his privacy lets call him Joe.

lets call me Mina.

Backstory:

- Joe & I have been together since we were 13, we went to the same secondary school & college (for Americans, same middle school & high school)

- we had been close friends since we were like 11, very visibly super close friends in school.

- when we started dating at the end of our second year, we spent the entire summer together.

- when we got back he just... pretended I didn't exist????

- like tf?

- anyway, we were still hanging out outside of school, but my school separate the year based on grades in third year, so I was placed in X and he was placed in Y, therefore we had 0 classes together

- though, in the corridors, at lunch, at break, etc, he’d pretend I didn't exist???

- he also told me not to tell anyone we were dating???

- this lasted maybe 2 years? until I got really mad and he started acknowledging me in our final year of secondary school & people knew we were dating.

- his mum ended up convincing me to apply to the same college as him, we did different courses so rarely saw each other, but occasionally took the train together on one of our mutual starting times.

- now, I go to university about 2 hours away from our hometown and live there, he doesn’t go to university at all.

the catfish:

- of course the initial: “don’t tell anyone we’re dating”

- when I was still 13, I did something SUPER childish, though no regrets and made a fake iMessage account so he’d think someone was texting him.

- I used Loren Gray’s picture because this boy had NO social medias, he was SO anti it.

- anyway, pretended I had gotten his number on Facebook, and that I had seen him at athletics (he’s an athlete) and I thought he was attractive and asked if he had a girlfriend

- then we went through this long “no I don't” “jk I do” back and forth bullshit. 

- oh he also didn't tell me about her until I said she had messaged me, but whatever idc but that's the first piece of info. 

Sabrina:

- next, I must've been 15?? idk exactly how old I am

- I do not and have NEVER cared who my boyfriend talks to, girl, boy, non-binary, whatever, I don't give a shit. 

- so I'm on his phone, taking snapchats to save to his memories and I kept seeing this girls name pop up. 

- let’s call her Sabrina.

- I had noticed he talks to her a LOT, but he never had mentioned her, but eh its whatever... probably just one of his friends, right?

- I used to just message his friends on his phone so I went onto her chat intending to be like “heyyyy bro, nice to meet you my name is Mina, do you wanna be friends?”

- but I'm seeing messages talking about: “what age would you have sex?”

- side note: he and I both lost our virginities when we were 15, later this year but at this point we had both been “handsy” down there??? 

- anyway she says “18″, he says “you know its legal at 16 tho right?

- “yeah, but still 18″

- “why not 16″

- whatever I don't remember the entire convo.

- so I was like hmm this is a bit sus and scrolled up to see their messages. 

- “do you have a girlfriend” “no” “actually yes” “im joking, no.”

- so im like wait what???

- anyway, I don't mention it for like 7 months? he denies it before saying what he said was innocent and he was just curious in a friendly way. 

- I let it go.

Kendall:

- I was probably 16 or almost 17 at this point 

- again, for privacy, we’ll call this girl Kendall.

- Kendall and I have a mutual friend, we’ll call her Tiana.

- Tiana and I were best friends.

- One day, Tiana messaged me and said hey, my friend Kendall was speaking to  Joe & realised wait isn't that Mina’s boyfriend and sent me these screenshots as soon as she realised.

- I had probably seen her name in his recent chats but didn't care enough to ask about it.

- anyway, the screenshots were just him being super flirty with emojis? like sounds childish but you know what I mean.

- and he was joking about “go to bed its past your bed time” and she was like “no why are you chatting, you’re up too”

- then. THEN. THIS BOI HAS THE AUDACITY.

- “shush and listen to your daddy”

- wHAT.

- I immediately confront him and he denies knowing anyone of that name at first, before saying oh I didn't mean it like that, it was like a mum/ dad joke we have

- so again, I let it go

Adrien:

- back in school, my maths teacher sent myself and this boy to the study area which is an open space in the school, visible from all levels.

- lets call him Adrien.

- note: adrien and I were both quite smart and in top set for most classes, our surnames are next to eachother on the register so were often seated beside each other. 

- we were very very close FRIENDS

- so we’re doing work, chatting a bit- whatever

- at some point, he jokingly pushes my head away, idk what I said, I do not remember. 

- note: the entire school is IN CLASS.

- a few seconds later, I feel my phone vibrate, sneak it out of my pocket to see a text from Joe: “why is Adrien touching your face?”

- I look around and no ones there, anyway he still gets mad about it now.

Other stuff:

- he used to threaten to kill himself if i broke up with him

- or if we were arguing he’d say he can do this anymore, imply suicide, the leave his phone for ages and get super mad if I contacted his sister or mum to find out if he was safe.

- sometimes i’d see him joking around on his sisters snapchat story when I'm panicking because he said he’d kill himself.

- I'm not materialistic, but the fact that he rarely would get me bday/xmas presents was kinda upsetting. (he has a lot of money, my family is broke but I make the BIGGEST deal out of xmas and his bday and everything)

- would work extra hours so he’d feel so so spoiled on xmas and his bday. 

- once he got me just a xmas themed toilet roll on Christmas, last year he gave me a small jar of vegan candies.

- I think he acknowledged valentines day twice in our relationship? 

- which was sad because pre-relationship, valentines was my fave day of the year & I'd hand out heart shaped chocolates to everyone at school.

- often blames his mental health on me.

- will cut me off and then act like I'm the one not listening to HIS problems. 

- if another guy has a crush on ME, then he gets mad at me?

- every boy in my college class admitted to having a crush on me at some point, awkward but my course was reliant on group projects so I couldn't just block them??? they all knew I had a bf

Extra:

- I have never orgasmed ONCE in my entire life... rip

- when I say he is ACTUALLY jealous, I mean like ACTUALLY jealous of me having a crush on like... cartoon characters?? (& also anime characters)

- has said sexist and transphobic things, that I DRAGGED him for.

- I think he's very manipulative and also immature. 

- hates that I'm smart

- HATES that my love language is acts of service. like HATES it.

- there's more but I won't bore you.

mini story:

- we went to Paris for my 18th birthday. 

- he tried to break up with me right before because “he feels like shit compared to other guys”

- I was crying down the phone (I never ever cry) begging him to reconsider

- we went to Paris, it was nice. 

- note: we also had sex there

- and then we get back and he says: “I hated you the entire time” and other stuff but I don't remember

this is according to him:

- I think I'm right all the time and think im little miss perfect

- I put in no effort

- I do not listen

- I just need to realise that all my male friends are only my friends because they want to fuck me.

- I do not care about anything

- I assume things 

- I compare him to other guys????

- I make him feel like shit 

(his words, though I disagree)

- we have been in a relationship for almost 6 years

- he’s my friend

- I love his family so much, I've watched his nephew grow up and I text his sister and I just love them.

- though he isn’t my type on paper, I do find him attractive 

- we have somewhat similar kinks

- my family seem to like him

- not gonna lie, we’d make cute babies.

- we both enjoy sports and also he sometimes plays video games with me (I'm an avid gamer, I twitch stream and play PC, PS4 & Switch, he sometimes will play fortnite or Mario kart with me)

- we have this cute cheerleader/ athlete thing which I like

- oh, right, pls don't judge this but its important to me to raise my children plant-based until they're old enough to decide for themselves- he isn't plant-based but is 100% onboard which is very important to me.

- has done cute things for me before like turn up at my house with my fave candy or buy an extra pack of gum/ drink for me.

- this sounds irrelevant, but I DO love to party/rave but I do not drink alcohol, I actually have a weird phobia of it, though I would 100% get high

- Joe and I both do not drink and although that's not something id look for in a s/o, it made me feel like I wasn't the only one lmao. 

- my first & only relationship

ANWYAY, we’ve been arguing for months, if you see this what do you think I should do? would it be overreacting to break up? I would still wanna be his friend because I care but I dunno what to do

[daveywankenobie]

OK

I will get the obvious out of the way.

I’m NOT feeling down.

There’s not a single fibre of my being that’s blue, malcontent, irritable, sad, annoyed, dissatisfied or irascible.

I have my mojo back and I’m workin it baby!

Part of my mood is (as always) attributable to a calming (and creative) nearby presence, who – while I write – is creating her own unique little pieces of art and beavering away with pliers and metal next to me.

It’s not at all unusual to see these little ‘jump rings’ floating around the house (occasionally the hoover finds more than it’s fair share) and in a radical departure from how things used to be I now find that I live in a world where (for the very first time in my life) I’m considering and appreciating the aesthetic merits of all kinds of jewellery.

This used to be something I wasn’t particularly keen on.

I have always viewed people (male or female) that were dripping in jewellery as materialistic. I didn’t understand why they needed such (usually golden) things, and for the longest time (mostly because I wanted simplicity but also because I had fat sweaty wrists) I never even wore a watch.

When I make the first tentative attempts to connect with my other half and we began to learn more about eachother I shared my thoughts on such matters.

She replied outright that she had a weakness for jewellery.

My honest thought at the time was ‘uh-oh… I hope she’s not high maintenance…’ but it turned out that nothing could be further from the truth – unless that is you count the endless cups of tea required to keep her running smoothly.

What I didn’t realise at the time was that she made a large amount of the jewellery that she wore herself – and what she didn’t construct with her numerous tools and materials was usually purchased frugally from very individual and bespoke suppliers.

I realised very quickly when we became closer that the items she owned were pretty much never made of precious metals or set with rare stones (many are constructed with  things like Lego!) but each and every item reflected her unique personality and tastes.

Tonight, while I’ve been creating this post she created this chain mail bracelet – and it just blows me away that I have such a quirky and inventive little soul next to me whenever I need cheering up.

I can’t just expect her to deliver my good mood whilst I give nothing in return though.

At times this can be hard and I feel like I’ve struggled a bit in the last few weeks. I’ve had to lean into my partner and other people more than I normally would (which is a natural part of life) but this week I finally feel like I’m making headway again.

As I’ve mentioned in my last few blogs my mindset recently has been a carefully cultivated one that’s taken a lot of effort to turn into something that is once again positive.

After burying my head in the metaphorical sand for a while and packing a good few pounds back on in the process I decided that the only way to tackle the issue I’d created was head on.

I needed to work hard, try at all times to be a ‘can do’ person and follow the Slimming World plan, which for me means no longer giving myself free reign to eat like an idiot.

It also means moving my arse more because not doing so has been a big contributor to my weight gain recently.

So in an effort to change I’ve explored all around Warwickshire this week, and in doing so discovered that despite the cold and grim weather there are still many flashes of colour or interest to be found when you’re out and about.

For a start there are mushroom rings everywhere!

I love that there’s always something new to find when you’re out walking. The natural world changes all the time – and the only thing I never seem to find when I’m outside in it is boredom.

It’s not just the natural world that holds joy and interest mind you.

Getting out and about regardless of where you go is good for the soul because there’s life of many different kinds of life to be found everywhere and lots of people to talk to or just watch as they pass by.

On Friday I walked into Coventry Market with a friend and we spent a while combing through the fruit and veg stalls where the variety and quality of produce puts most supermarkets to shame.

Around one third of these items are completely alien to me. I’ve never cooked with them, and I wouldn’t know where to begin in some cases (particularly with the bitter melon) but I love that we live in such a culturally diverse society that all of the Chinese, Indian and English sellers that were in the market have space for their wares and ALL of them seemed to have a bustling, diverse and above all engaged clientele.

There’s life inside that run down looking building that you can’t find in a supermarket.

Within its walls you can interact with, touch, smell, feel and examine items that aren’t everyday objects – or at least they aren’t to me.

In this environment my childhood returns to me – because a greengrocer was (back then) a daily reality in which potatoes were covered in dirt, cucumbers curled like springs and apples were different shapes colours, tastes and sizes.

Fruits and vegetables had bumps, knobbles and imperfections which I loved and shopping back then didn’t require removal of leaves and mud.

You got to see the way that items looked when they’d been pulled out of the ground – without them being sanitised and shoved in clear plastic to put under 24×7 spotlights.

I absolutely love the naturalness of this scruffy little place – and I can’t believe that until six months ago I’d never ever been there before.

If you haven’t visited yourself then leave your car (or bus) at War Memorial Park and take a walk into town (it’s only a mile away – you can do it!). If you have an Ikea Family card then you can also get a free tea or coffee in their nearby cafe.

If you don’t purchase anything you still get a cheap day out and some exercise – which I’ll admit was the main reason for this discovery in the first place.

This brings me neatly onto my next topic – because If you’re not in calorie deficit and moving about as much as possible then you won’t lose weight.

In my Apple Watch stats I haven’t failed to hit all of my daily exercise goals for over two years – but during the last few months I’ve gradually done a little less every day and eaten either the same amount or more.

My life is a pretty fine balance due to my reliance on rather large portion sizes, and I’ve had to accept recently that I simply cannot get away with eating huge volumes of (very good non processed and natural) free food without then immediately burning it off.

The truth is that although my stats look good they have to be viewed with a bit more of an inquisitive eye.

My walking distance is great – and it’s remained constant throughout the year (now I swim as well) at about eight miles a day.

My average swimming distance shows that I do around 50 continuous lengths of the pool each time I swim, meaning I have great stamina. However what it doesn’t show in this average is that last month I went swimming less times in October than since I started in November 2018.

Bad Davey.

The stats that really can’t lie – and highlight the dip in the number of times I’ve swum are my active energy ones (kcal expended through movement above normal ‘just living and breathing’ levels) and my exercise minutes.

Whilst they’re probably higher than a lot of people’s daily burn they have (by my standards) tailed off lately, and in August (shortly after I handed over to the new MOTY) they pretty much said ‘enough of this sh*t – I’m staying on the sofa.’

As you can see in November I’ve begun to address this – and after a slow start to the month I’m once again cooking on gas. Since weighing in last Saturday I’ve managed to walk 80+ miles and swum 7.5km.

After taking a 12lb gain on the chin last weekend I had two choices – sort it out with activity and a positive mindset or deal with it by burying my face in the fridge.

I’ve therefore been very active and very outdoorsy.

I’ve also cooked every large, hearty meal from scratch and prepared the breakfasts, lunches and dinners for myself and my other half each day (I just love cooking for us both) with feeling satisfied and full in mind.

There have been no complaints from her – and looking back at some of the week’s pictures I think you’ll agree we’ve not gone hungry!

It’s fair to say though that in between these shots an awful lot of plums and carrots also died to service our needs to snack between meals.

There were also some more serious transgressions involved though – and on Thursday I hoovered up 200g of sweet popcorn in one very flexible evening that equalled 44 syns. I refuse to feel guily though. I really enjoyed it – and after some epic exercise genuinely felt I deserved a treat.

I felt absolutely zero guilt.

Neither of us has.

We’ve instead had a pact that’s revolved around promising eacother that we’d focus on our individual sabotaging behaviours and do our level best to support eachothers’ success – which we have.

My partner’s weaknesses and mine are quite different – but we’re the same in that (like most people) we fall down in times of stress or worry. Although it’s been tough for both of us to turn things around it’s also been really empowering to take our bulls by their horns and wrestle them to the floor.

This week – thanks to our individual commitments (and efforts with walking and swimming which have been mutually engaged in as much as possible) this has resulted in huge strides.

We both had big losses on the scales this morning and for the first time in a while since I got my new Slimming World book (which frankly looks like a complete mess to me with its gains and losses) I feel really proud of myself.

This morning I smashed out a 9.5lb loss!

Now – I don’t for a minute think that this is sustainable and I’m sure that at least half of this is fluid rather than fat. I know this because I can feel the bloat and swell when I’m not eating right.

If I change my habits then I pee like a racehorse for a day or two and then I’m magically a few pounds lighter. It’s only after the first couple of days that the real weight loss starts. With this in mind I’ve probably lost about 4-5lbs in real terms.

This is still a fabulous weight loss – but I’m not naive enough to think I’ll get this figure regularly.

I’ve been doing this too long now and I know my body.

When Angie asked my how much I wanted to lose by next week my reply was simply ‘a loss’, because to lose lose two weeks in a row with an initial spurt like that is no easy task and I don’t want to set myself up for a fall.

I don’t want to put anything on or maintain – just a loss is enough for me.

So that’s it.

The result of hard work.

Now to do it over and over again every week until I get back to target!!!!

Davey

Got my mojo back baby! OK I will get the obvious out of the way. I'm NOT feeling down. There's not a single fibre of my being that's blue, malcontent, irritable, sad, annoyed, dissatisfied or irascible.

[bumcheeks94]

So feeling a bit shitty at the moment so though I’d do another post and kick off where I finished.

So yes, i have a lot of self esteem and trust issues because of my ex partner. A lot of people don’t know this or understand this because I’m a young(ish) male who is not unattractive.. I’m not the hottest person in the world but I don’t know how else to paint the picture.

I appear to have a lot of confidence which is why people don’t see the... real me, if that’s what you wish to call it.

Anyway, after I caught my ex wanking to porn and me starting to go down hill from there. We kept spiralling and heading down hill so I started to seek counselling because I thought the reason he didn’t love me or have sex with me was all my fault and I blamed myself for everything. My counsellor told me point blank. “You need to leave him” I didn’t like that the counsellor advises me to do that so I fakes that our problems and my problems had gone away so I didn’t have to see them again.

We eventually lead to breaking up which after being together for two years I was obviously upset which only lasted a few weeks and then I was back to my normal self since the person I am is one to wrap things in a box, chain them and lock them and never open them again so I was over it quick smart.

I then explored the gay scene and have been doing so since we broke up. It’s now been 2.5 years of me being single.

This is the part where things get to where I am today.

I met a boy. He was married, to a woman and they had recently gotten married when we started seeing eachother. The first time we ever met, there was this instant connection I felt - I couldn’t explain what it was but I just wanted more more more. He did lie to me at the start and tell me that he was single, then he later told me he had a gf then we went for lunch during work hours and he told me he was recently married. I was clearly a bit shocked and I wa snore upset as to the fact that he’s done what he perceived to be (normal) marry the girl, have children and a house with a picket fence. People need to get that idea out of their head and be themselves and it will all work out in the end.

Anyways! He then not long after we met, went on his honeymoon with his new wife. We talked throughout the whole time he was gone (6 weeks) and it was about his feelings and coming out one day and if he wanted to be with his wife then when he came back we met up for a lunch in the city again. I just really liked to spend time with this guy because if he asked me why I was sad. I’d tell him and I wouldn’t lie. I felt like I could be 100% honest with him and it felt good to be able to... breath in a sense...

His wife had found out that he’d been speaking to guys and that when they got home from the honeymoon he’d be able to move out for a month and “find himself” I offered him my place to stay since I didn’t want him staying at a random guys house every night so he lived with me for this month.

During that month, we went on dates, dinners, lunches, days off work, sleeping side by side every night it was amazing and I wouldn’t trade that for the world. He also smelt amazing which was a big plus. It was however, an emotional roller coaster. At the end of the month he decided that he wanted to give his marriage one last shot before giving up and I had stated that if he’s to do that then we can’t be friends anymore because of our history and that we can’t even text at all.

Him leaving that day was one of the most emotional days I’ve ever had in my life, we cried to eachother before he left because he gave me this amazing card which started me off and because I alwayyys raves about his smell, he bought me the cologne as a thank you present.

Then I had to put him in his car and put it in reverse. He didn’t want to drive away because he was crying so much and I was holding back as much as I could but some tears cane out. It really felt like something had died in my life. With that last kiss through the driver window I told him he had to leave and try give this marriage a shot. As he was driving away I watched him till he turned the corner at the end of the street.

I was sobbing in the middle of the road because I didn’t think I’d ever see him again. I ran straight to my room and cried and cried into my pillow. I was an emotional wreck and I’ve never cried so much..

A couple of hours went on and i couldn’t stop thinking about how he was and making sure that he was safe and okay. We ended up messaging eachother to check in and all was still shit to be honest. We lasted 4 days I think until we met up again to see eachother. On that day, we again had sex. He decided then and there that his marriage wasn’t going to work out and he had to leave. I offered him a place but he didn’t want to make it emotionally painful for me anymore than it was. He then moved in with family and started to come out to them and his friends too.

I like to think I was there every step of the way helping him through that part of his life. We kept a sewing eachother and it was all going alright. I didn’t think this at the time but I fell in love head over heels with this boy without even realising. Because he knew my feelings toward him, he decided to back off romantically to try make it easier for me but I wanted him bad and I would always be waiting for his call, his text, his Snapchat. Another hard day was when he went back on Grindr. This broke my heart and made me feel like a piece of shit.

The whole time we were seeing eachother he always said he didn’t want a boyfriend and that he wasn’t ready so I knew he had to explore his gay side without having the guilty conscience with him because he was now single. I’d always be asking him how his night was, what he was doing, who he was with, if hes had sex with anyone else, if he’s met anyone else.

Every time without fail when he responded with a yes or that he was with someone, I’d go into a state of jealousy, unhappiness and anger too. These are not nice feelings and it makes your life miserable. This was happening for a month or two over and over and over because I knew that there was guys out there sleeping with him and having sex with him and having that connection with him that I want.

After this happening, it was Easter weekend on the Saturday night. My housemate, her boyfriend and their baby were all home in the lounge room and I was in my room watching tv. I, without even thinking. Decided then and there that I again was going to harm myself, I got the razor. Took out the blade and just cut, I didn’t even have a second thought about this and I was relieved that I had done it again and I felt like I could again take a breath because things emotionally were over..

The thing with self harm is that, the goal isn’t suicide. The goal is to just feel something other than the anger, jealousness, and hurt that you’ve been feeling for whatever reasons you have.

I didn’t want to tell anyone and I didn’t until I saw my GP. I had told him over the phone (as per COVID) what I done and he asked me to come in and see him each fortnight in person. This GP has been the best support I’ve had from a THP so far and I can not be more grateful to have him there for when I need.

After the self harm, I woke up one day and asked him to call me when his ‘friend’ left his house. When he called me I broke down and told him that I can’t do it anymore, I can’t be the person who is okay with him sleeping with other people. I didn’t want to tell him that I loved him but i blurted it out. I told him that for me to move on I can’t see him, speak to him or text him. I just needed to, let. Go. 

This was another extremely hard day, because all I wanted to do was call and text and snap but I couldn’t and I knew that if I wanted to move on I had to cut alllll ties with this guy.

It’s now been about a month and a half and I am still laying in bed, wanting him to cuddle me and tell me things will be alright. Or just call me and say, “hey beautiful boy, hows your day?” I still lay in bed sometimes and just cry to myself wondering what he’s doing and where he is and why I’m not good enough.

I’ve never, ever felt this way about someone, I had my first partner who was the love of my life for 4.5 years, I then had my other partner for 2 years and I wasn’t that sad about those breakups.

This was a total of 5 months, and I am still crying about him after not speaking for a month and a half. I don’t know what it is with this guy, I don’t know what he’s done to me and my feelings, I don’t know why my head just won’t stop thinking about him or dreaming about him or just generally being sad all day because he’s not here and I can’t talk to him.

I have had sex since he’s left with another man obviously and It’s so frustrating because I close my eyes during the sex and imagine that it’s him and I picture his face, eyes, smile looking at me. I imagine his soft hands touching my body or sometimes slapping it and I just wonder why I’m still this way when i should be over it by now.

I can not fully give my self and my all to anyone because I can’t get this guy out of my head. I will be honest, I have recently though more about self harm and I really want to do it but I don’t want those scars on my body since I still have the ones from when I was 15 there too.

I’m now seeing my GP and a psychologist but I don’t think anything is working. I don’t know what to do anymore and I don’t know how to breath, eat, walk, talk, act, do, say, blink because my concentration is stuck on this person.

I just don’t know how to help myself anymore..

[weannoyingbouquetgalaxy-blog1]

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How can I find out the cheapest rate?

CAR INSURANCE rip off - I was involved in a car accident that wasnt my fault?

Insurance co.deducted $334 from my settlement so the policy is paid in full till July 2010.If I buy another car the policy doesnt transfer to the new car!They have robbed me $334 ? Wont mention the insurance co.(RACV) ooops!

Will my home owner insurance go up if I make a claim? How much?

I live in Massachusetts. Let's say a homeowner has a flood, and claims a $3000 loss, minus a $500 deductible. Will they be punished severely with increased rates? What will it cost them? Will it make a difference if the damage was someone else's fault (e.g. in a condo where a first floor unit could be flooded by a broken water heater on the second floor, or by a fault in the building's plumbing which is owned by the association?) Will the insurance company send their lawyers after the party at fault, and in that case would they not raise the rates on the claimant? People tell horror stories, usually about car insurance, where the rates go up so much you pay the insurance company back for the whole claim. But I pay all of $220 per year for $30,000 in personal property coverage. If I claimed a loss of a few thousand dollars, how much could they really raise my $220 premium?""

Is car insurance cheaper with a new vehicle or old vehicle?

I am 21 and married and we are trying to buy a car. we don't care if its new or used but we are wondering if the car insurance quote will be cheaper with a new or old car.

1997 camaro insurance?

Hey , wuts a ballpark answer 4 how much the insurance for a 97 camaro z28 would cost for a 17 year old ? Also, are they pretty good cars and reliable? I alresy got an online quote , but I want answers from ppl who've owned a camaro from 1993-97.""

Car insurance for a 17 year old boy?

Hello Yesterday, I passed my driving test and am, of course, really looking forward to driving. I spotted a Renault Clio I liked with a 1.1 litre engine. It's nothing special, just a first car (which would mean the world to me) I was always aware insurance was going to be a struggle. I insured myself with Provisional Marmalade while I was still learning, so I could drive my mum and dad's car as additional practice. Prov. Marm. have another part to their company, Young Marmalade for newly passed drivers, apparently giving you the best quotes, however I couldn't find anything under 3000! I am a 17 year old boy living in the Northeast of Scotland, one of the most common places for a collision in the whole of the UK. However, I am not in anyway a dangerous driver. My dad has been driving for 50 years and told me he feels very safe while driving with me as a learner, and I always stay within the speed limit, with the exception of if I don't realise I'm doing over the limit. My mum and dad have been saving some money for me for about 10 years, but it's only about 1300, and I don't have any more money apart from that. It's not going to be enough and I have really been let down by the insurance, because that Clio I saw was 600. The lowest quote I managed to find was 1634.70 a year from the Co-Operative Young Driver insurance, and with that you get a device fitted in your car to monitor how you drive, and if you drive within speed limits, and safely, I guess your monthly cost comes down a little bit. Anyway, I'm waffling on here. My question was, does anybody know of a REALLY good insurer for 17 year old boys who would: -take their price down for one of thse devices being fitted -offer decent discounts for Pass Plus or an Advanced Driving course? A car and amazingly cheap insurance would mean the world to me at the moment, because there's nothing worse than the feeling of only getting 1 minor fault on your test then realising you can't drive due to the greedy bastard insurance companies. Thanks for all the help.""

What would be the average cost on home insurance?

just an estimate, i have no clue is it 30$ a month, 100, 200, 300, 500?""

Can I get a dealer service department to cash out a check that was written from my insurance company?

I know I can get a repair done cheaper elsewhere. But my insurance company has already left a check at the dealer that is made out to me and the dealer so I have to sign it over to them. The dealer will not have the part in until Tuesday. So can I go to the dealer and just take the part and ask them to cash out the labor to me and I will go elsewhere for the actual repair?

Dose a sports car make your insurance go up

iam 15 and i want a mustang and my mother said that a sports car make your insurance go up is that true

Can I keep the check from the insurance, and don't repair my car?

Can I keep the check from the insurance, and don't repair my car?

Does anyone who is under 18 and doesn't have health coverage automatically qualify for MassHealth?

We live in Massachusetts and I previously heard that ANYONE who is under 18 and does not have health insurance will automatically qualify for the free state insurance, MassHealth. Does anyone know if this is true because it doesn't really specify online.""

Why is Travelers increasing my insurance rates?

I bought my house 3 years and insured the house with Travelers homeowners insurance. The rate started at $843.00 per year and the insured value of the house was $183,000. The rate ...show more""

MINI One for first car? Insurance?

Desperately want a mini for my first car but they're quite expensive - especially insurance! Was wondering the approx cost of insurance on a mini one for a 17 year old after passing, I haven't passed yet so can't get a quote :/ Also, are 2003-4 reg minis more prone to problems & break downs? Loads of people I know have minis so can't be that bad? Or their just wealthy haha""

Renters insurance company?

what insurance company covers property damage i want to get a dog but my landlord wants us to get renters insurance before we do please someone help

I want to start a health insurance company how would I go about doing that?

I want to provide people with an affordable insurance that will also pay fair rates to the pharmacies and hospitals. I used to work for a pharmacy and saw how if the customer got a good price on a drug then the pharmacy got screwed over and vice versa. This needs to change, please help me make that change.""

How much is insurance for an 18 year old?

i just turned 18 and am getting off my parents plan and getting my own insurance, i have 2 points on my license at the moment for an improper passing ticket. Thats the only ticket ive gotten. My car is a 2013 Volkswagen Jetta SEL I know i can get insurance quotes, just looking for a ballpark estimate right now....thanks!""

Insurance for new baby/family?

I'm newly pregnant - 6weeks. The boyfriend - of 5 yrs - & I were talking yesterday at my prenatal appt & he brought up insurance. The baby's due in early july 2009. He has Blue Cross Blue Shield. I have Aetna. I know that, over here in Virginia, Medicaid is completely free & they will automatically give a pregnant woman insurance thru them. I'm not sure where to go w/ insurance as far as our first baby goes. Do we keep our separate insurances & just add each other & the baby? Do we drop both & get Medicaid? Well, that would only cover me & the baby, I believe. What to do? THANKS!""

What is the cheapest online moped insurance for a 16 year old?

im going to be 16 in october and im getting a moped , the bike will be kept in a secure brick building , i wish to have fire and theft , the moped is a direct bikes sports 50cc , has any one got a good estimate or a recommendation website for me? i would like to be able to get insured as soon as ive passed my cbt, and also could i get it online taxed the same day? thank you ;)""

Should I include collision on my car insurance?

I have a 2002 Honda Civic sedan with 99,000+ miles on it. In shopping around for better car insurance (my old policy expires next month), most agents I interacted with included collision for around a $300 annual premium. Some people I told about my insurance shopping said that to carry collision on such an old car is not necessary. I'm seeking an unbiased opinion as to what are the advantages, if any, about including collision, or any other info on what to look for in a good policy. Thanks.""

I want to buy a Mazda RX8 with 69xxxx miles. is it a good car and how much does insurance cost for these cars?

How come i don't see many of these cars around?

Where can I get an insurance quote?

I want to get an insurance quote on my car but every site I go to asks me for a lot of information such as address, name and other personal things. Is this how you have to do it? Or is there a site where you just type in your birthday and info about your car? I just want an approximate quote. I'm only 16 and would be insuring a 1974 Ford Mustang II with a v6. How much do you think that would be? Whats the best site for quotes?""

I am 18 and need car insurance?

i am moving out of my moms house, me and her havent been getting along at all lately. she isnt letting me take my car so i need to buy my own car and get my own insurance. is it possible for an 18 year old to get their own car insurance policy ? i was told you had to be 25. and if i do buy my own policy, about how much will it be? i have no tickets or violations and it will be an older car, but it will run! and advice at all on moving out and making it work would be much appreciated.""

Motor trade insurance?

I am looking for motor trade insurance that will insure a 19 year old as a named driver, my father has 6 years commercial no claims discount, he will be the proposer and i will be a named driver. has anyone recently been insured or knows a insurance company that will insure a 19 year old please let me know, much appreciated thank you. I have been quoted 2995 with motrade, but i am restricted to 1600cc engines with (no turbo with petrol) but i need to be able to drive bmw 320d. so a minium of 2000cc.""

Bussiness insurance?

need to know what type of insurance i need to open a carpet cleaning and window cleaning service.

What happens if u get caught driving a car without insurance?

what fines or punishments do u get driving a car without insurance or registration in ontario? Also, what happens if you get caught driving with a g1? and both?""

""I don't have car insurance, is it illegal to drive someone else's cars which has car insurance?""

My dad lets my use his car which has car insurance, i just want to know if its illegal to drive without insurance in california because i don't have insurance.""

Who thinks GEICO is a great insurance company?

I think their ads on TV are so right - they have not only the lowest rates (at least for me), but the best customer service too. I have never filed a claim, but recently requested some insurance record from them. Even though I am not their customer anymore (currently do not own a car), they still were very helpful on the phone, sent me the requested letter immediately and even did a follow up on it. I think they are awesome. Who had similar experience with them or any other company? PS - I am not a GEICO employer :))""

How much will a suzuki vitara jlx 1999 cost for a 17 year old to insure in the UK?

Hi there i am 16, almost 17 and i own a suzuki vitara, it has previously been used as a field car but sailed through its MOT... i am looking to use this as my first road car. I can't seem to find anything at all on the internet without having to make an account.. someone please help, I simply need to know how much it will cost me to insure in the UK as my first car at 17 years old. it has no modifications, a 1.6 petrol engine, convertible and a jlx model.. someone please help if you can?""

What is the cheapest online car insurance for an 18 yr old male?

My stepson needs to get some online insurance today............dont have alot of time to research. What would you say is the cheapest car insurance available on line........monthly payments?

""How much, on average, would car insurance be raised if I added a 16 1/2 year old driver?

The vehicle would be an onld 1996 minivan.

I need to buy a car cheap on gas/insurance. i have 2 boys and they need car seats..?

The car seats can be the smaller skinnier type. I am debating with a nissan sentra and maybe a mitsubishi lancer. I need something basic with a great warranty and still a little room. What do you think? Anyone own a lancer or sentra with pointers on if its a good car for a couple carseats?

""If you crashed your car into someones, how much would insurance pay out?""

Assuming the cost is 18,000, most of it being for injuries the other party claims to have (<1000 bucks in damage). How much would insurance pay and how much would i have to pay? No damage to my own car. No need for insurance after this because I dont think im going to drive again after hearing the cost. I cant call the insurance company unforunately. Do you think I would have to pay all of it? I had full coverage.""

How much does it estimately cost for a car insurance?

Please don't give any stupid answers. All I want is to get an estimate because I have not got ANY ANY clue about it. You can just give a range like 100-200 pounds per [unit time]. Hint: I will get my car when I am 17 so roughly how much will it be annually/monthly? The most sensible and reliable answer gets 10 points for best answer.

Can anybody give a good estimate on how much my insurance would be for me driving a 2002 ford mustang?

Im 16 years old and i'm a girl if that matters. My mom will not let me get one but I really want that to be my first car. Also can you give me some ideas to convince her to let me get it. I really need the actual price of how much the insurance would be.

Would insurance on a 79 Buick Skyhawk be expensive?

My husband and I found one extremely cheap, and I desperately need a car. Our worry is the monthly insurance rate. Would the age make it cheaper, or is it so old that it would begin to go back up?""

Can I keep the check from the insurance, and don't repair my car?

Can I keep the check from the insurance, and don't repair my car?

Could anyone recommend a decent car insurer for a 17yr old female in the UK???

I am looking for cheap car insurance, the cheapest I have found is 860 fully comp for a Fiat Punto. I would like to find cheaper, could anyone recommed an insurer??? Thanks, Jay""

No health insurance...

I don't have health insurance but have started to worry about needing to get a mammogram because I have a spot that worries me. Is there anything I can do to have it checked out?

My insurance is like $300 a month...help?

I just got a free quote from whipers.com but my insurance is still a little high...what can I do to lower it to like $75 a month or is that not realistic?

""Car for 17 year old? easy on gas , cheap to insure?""

i am a 17 year old girl who lives in ontario and would like to purchase a used car for $1500. it needs to be cheap to insure and really good on gas. i do not know much about cars but im hoping someone will help me. also, i do not want a car that will break down and cost me lots of money to fix. any suggestions with what car i should buy? basically i just need a good student car because it will only be driving me to school and thats it. safety isnt a huge issue for me more like the pricing and maintenance. any suggestions willl do ! please help . thanks:)""

Do you have health insurance?

if so, how much is it per month? how old are you? what kind of deductable do you have? feel free to answer also if you do not have insurance?""

Where can i get cheap Car Insurance?

here you go a website that can help you find the best auto insurance in your area http://is.gs/7xg

Best insurance companies for 21 year old passed my test.?

ok ive pased my test a month on friday and i gettin a car this week and i need some insurance on the car obviiously lol, well basically whats the cheapest car insurance all you 21 year old have and who is it with, please :)""

Can I get life insurance on a family member without their consent?

I'm interested in getting a life insurance policy on my mother because unfortunately she will not be around forever and I want to make sure my sister and I are able to take care of financial obligations that would have to be resolved including funeral expenses. Obviously this is a very difficult situation, no one wants to have to plan for a loved one's passing. Anyone know if this is possible? thanks.""

Car insurance went DOWN after accident?

I was involved in a one vehicle accident and had a failure to control and hit a guardrail. I called today to get my insurance back and its lower ?? I thought it would go up? Also I ...show more

Teenage Car Insurance Question?

I am a new teenage driver about to go for his license in a few weeks. Before I do I have to be on one of my parents insurance plans. My mom says that adding me to hers would be about $1800 yearly and my dad just says that that is ridiculously high. I don't know which one of them to believe on this issue so: How much is average teenage car Insurance

About how much more would insurance be on this car?

i want to get a chrysler sebring convertible. i tried calculating insurance but it didnt ask if it was a convertible or not. Im just trying to see how much more the insurance would be since its a convertible.SO! how much more would insurance be on a 99 sebring coupe than a 99 sebring convertible. it would have 46000 miles.

Help with car Insurance? Insurance broker claims cheap insurance?

Hi, I'm 17 and I just recently passed my test, so I'm planning of getting a car soon, maybe even next year, but the point is - I have seen this guy on facebook claiming to be working with an insurance broker that's why he can get cheap insurance... My question is not if he is a scammer or not, my question is, do insurance brokers have the right to give cheap insurance? And approximately how much off? (note i'm 17 and i'm thinking of getting a golf or a astra and i live in east london)""

How much will previous drink driving ban cost company insurance?

Hi, hope someone can help. I had a drink driving ban about 2 years ago. I am now applying for a job which would like a clean driving license (dont they all). What i want to know is how much extra money would it cost the company insurance to put someone on their books with a previous d/d ban. The job im applying for would require me to drive their vehicles, would it cost the company alot ? Thanks for any answers""

How does car insurance really work for new drivers?

I passed my road test with flying colors last Friday, but my parents refuse to either get me a car, or allow me to drive theirs by myself. They quote insurance as the main problem - new drivers who are male and under 25 typically get insurance rates that are like 200% plus the normal rate. Now if that were the way it really worked for everyone, I wouldn't say anything, considering that I know it's not my car I'd be driving. However, I have plenty of friends who use their parents insurance, but don't pay a penny extra. I'm wondering how exactly that is done, because if my parents had their way, I'd be driving with them sitting in the side seat until the age of 25 - not happening.""

How much would insurance cost?

I am a 16 year old female who just got my license in January. I get good grades, but just a few days ago rear-ended the car in front of me. I totaled my car, and caused minimal damage to the one in front of me. How much should my insurance be on a monthly basis?""

Car Insurance help please?

Hello, I am a 22 year old female who lives in California, I was wonderinf what would be the best/cheap car insurance please... Thank you""

What is the best car insurance?

im 18 i just bought my car and now i need insurance what is the cheapest insurance out there for a guy of my age?

Insurance on Giving Birth?

Me and my husband don't have any insurance and we want to have a baby, what is the average monthly payment for insurance that will cover everything from the ultra violet sound to the monthly check-ups to the auctual giving birth in the hospital.""

Where can i get car insurance for 20.00?

i'm going to ask this question until i get the correct answer ok listen closely i'm not selling my car i'm not catching a cab i paid 10.000.00 for my car it is my car i worked for it i dont joy ride i drive about 1 mile a month i'm disabled i go to the grocery store credit union auto zone my car is parked about about 99 % of the time i dont need that much car insurance. liability is all i need i keep hearing about this car insurance program 15 dollars a month. if you qualify is it the government that has this program has anyone heard of this?

How much is insurance on a Chevy Camaro?

I'm 16, ill be on the car by myself. the camaro is a 1998, and in great condition. i have state farm along with my family so ill be on their plan, ive done the steer clear program and have good grades which both give me a discount! does anyone have an estimate of what is might be per month????""

Will my car insurance go up after this accident happened(Story included)?

Ok so my brother was driving on the highway and another car hit him but left the scene. It was the other cars fault not my brothers. A cop passed by and ask what happened. My brother didn't have license so I told them I was the one who was driving and explain everything. I was 18/17 at that time. The cop did take my license and gave it back after making a report. I am safe or will my insurance rate be high because of this??? The car and the insurance was under my brothers name. But I took the blame. The car didnt have any major damage. just the front got damage I am also afraid he could tell his insurance it was my fault so his insurance doesn't go up. Could he do that?

Pulled over with no insurance in my friends car?

last night i got pulled over in my friends car and i got citation for having expired insurance since he hadnt payed it how do i pay this off?

How can I get affordable Medical Insurance for my family?

My wife and I are hoping to have another child soon. Were getting alot of our debt paid off since I am working overtime. However our current Insurance doesn't offer maternity ...show more

""How do I get the best deal on a rental car, and what about insurance?""

I am going to Orlando for 4 days/3nights, and want to rent a car while I am there, but I want to get the best price I can. What is the best way to do that...tips/suggestions? I'm also a bit confused about the whole insurance issue, since this is my first time renting a car. I really don't want to have to pay double just to get insurance if I don't actually need it. Please explain. Thanks!""

What happens if you got into a accident and have no insurance?

I was driving my girlfriends truck and got into an accident.. I didnt know she has no inaurance. The officer made an accident report then let us go. What happens next does she eventually get a ticket oe me. and is it criminal offense she ia crying cause she feels so bad. Does she lose her license or me cause i was driving? And who will get sued? Please answer all questions. If i had known she didnt pay her insurance i would have paid it for her.she is mainly worried she will go to jail

Can I keep the check from the insurance, and don't repair my car?

Can I keep the check from the insurance, and don't repair my car?

Car insurance question (just turned 16)?

So I just turned 16, and am about to purchase a car after saving up for the past year or so. I just have 2 questions. 1- Im planning to get a 1991 Nissan 300zx, there's a 2 seater-2door and a 4 seater- 2 door version of this car. Planning to get the 4 seater, and from what I've heard, insurance will be a tad bit cheaper with the 4 seater, is this true ? And for the more important question - Im underage obviously, so I have to go under my parents for insurance. Thing is, my dad has a HORRIBLE driving record, 1 accident that was his fault and a heaping amount of tickets. And my parents' insurance has gone up from that.. But is his driving record going to affect my insurance? Like will I have to pay more than expected due to his bad record ? Sorry for such the long question..""

Car Insurance?

I drove my friends car he has liability insurance. I have full coverage insurance on my car. I got hit by a guy without insurance. Will my insurance cover my friends car I was driving because the other guys car is not going to be paying for anything. Thanks.

Can other people drive my car with my insurance?

I am going on a road trip with a friend but I don't want to drive the whole way. I have AAA insurance, will it cover my friend if she drives my car part of the way? She has state farm insurance if that makes any difference.""

Cheap car insurance UK?

I'm a young driver 17 I have no provisional experience or pass plus Im a girl and I'm hopefully getting a ford Ka 2002-2003 Do you know what the cheapest place to get insurance is? I've looked everywhere! Any help appreciated :)

Life insurance at 25 years of age.?

I am twenty five and would like to put my mom in life insurance. Is this possible and what would I have to do to put her in life insurance?

I double paid home insurance?

I just found out that I paid my homeowners insurance seperate and my morgage is paying for it as well. Its been 2 years....should I ask for a refund or what?

What would the cost of insurance be for a 16 year old driving a 1994 3000GT Mitsubishi?

What would the cost of insurance be for a 16 year old driving a 1994 3000GT Mitsubishi?

How much would auto insurance cost for a 1996 dodge viper?

I just need some sort of estimate.

Car insurance for 17 year old?

im 17 and have looked nearly all the comparison sites for car insurance and theyre all coming with prices like 3000-6000. and the car is just a fiat punto a 1242cc.i know it was going to be expensive but i have been reading that people have been getting insures for like 1200 who are 17 aswell. could it be the car make or should i look for a really small car like a vauxhall corsa.

Getting homeowners insurance in florida?

I'm considering a move to Florida sooner or later, but I wanted to ask a quick question about insurance. I'm in Mobile, Al., and it seems the region has had some skyrocketing insurance costs, both premiums and deductables. A major factor in this is the hurricanes we've had in the past six years, give or take (Yes, i know there are more factors involving costs, the overall economy being no small part). In fact, many areas can't even get insurance in the first place, because no company will write a new policy. Does Florida have the same problem? In the past decade, the state has seen much more of its share of natural disasters than my home (my city hasn't had a direct hit from any of the major storms)""

CAR INSURANCE - how can I insure my car in a California so my son can drive it even though I live in Florida ?

PROBLEM I own a car that my son drives. He lives in California and will have a California drivers liscense there. I live in Florida. what do I do. The car obviouslyt is in California as well.

How can I get discounts on auto insurance?

I want to know more about auto insurance discounts. I would like to reduce costs so a discount will be nice.

How much will my car insurance cost?

I'm planning to get a car this September. - The car will have a maximum of 1.4L engine and will probably be a VW Golf/Polo, Ford Focus or a Vauxhall Corsa. - I will be 20 years old and will have been holding a driving license for 1.5 years. - I am planning to use the car at University (Nottingham) and have off road parking space. I am a medical student. - I have not been insured on any car before, hence don't have any no claims, but parents have loads and I'll be getting them as first driver. So, how much would I be expecting to pay for a year? Please don't suggest comparison sites.""

How I get discount on car insurance?

I am from Liverpool and wanted to have good discounts on Car Insurance.. Can someone please suggest.

I am looking for a name for my insurance agency I deal in Life Insurance and Health Ins.&annuities?

We deal with all ages and alot with seniors We do not deal with home or auto insurance

Should I get health insurance?

I am an overall healthy guy, but I do spend $30 a month on a prescription for my disorder and I visit my doctor every 3 months for $60. Is there a health insurance that will reduce my cost or is it not worth it?""

Insurance for a 17 year old girl?

Can anyone please give me an estimate on how much insurance might cost me for one year? I'm 17.. did Drivers Training.. and would get my own car.. I think it's a 1992 Aurora. Thanks!

Do car insurance rates increase because of family visiting?

Hello there. I was wondering if anybody ever heard about car insurance rates increasing because of extra people in the house. My wife and I will be staying at my in-laws house for a few months and we have our own vehicles with insurance so therefore we will not be driving my in-laws car. HIs brother was told that his rate insurance will increase because of the extra people in the house. Does any of this sound right to you? Thanks. We ilve in florida.

What is the estimate car insurance cost for me?

Hello~ I'm a 16 year old female who is looking into cars and insurance. I've made a deal with my parents, so I believe that I am getting a 2013 Kia Rio. My question is...What is a rough estimate for the insurance cost that my parents will have to pay?  16 years old  Female  2013 Kia Rio  I have a 3.5 - 3.8 ish GPA (Can't remember exactly)  If I have to, I'll probably take a drivers ed class (Although I'd love to avoid that)  I believe my family is with State Farm  We live in Gilbert AZ Thank you in advance! <3""

""Just had a car crash, but worried insurance won't pay out..?""

Just had a car crash on the 02/03/2014 at 8:20am crashing into a central reservoir fence accidentally, judging by the aftermath of the accident it's definitely an insurance write off. A week before this incident I had recently got my rear windows tinted (only light smoke) plus got alloy wheels put on but i didn't let my insurance aware of this (i planned on letting them know eventually but i didn't know i was going to crash so soon) Apart from this everything else is legit.. I am currently insured with Zurich just wondering will Zurich insurance still pay me out the value of my car or will I not get a penny ?""

Motorcycle insurance prices in uk at 17-19?

Hello, I really want to get a motorcycle at the age of between 17 to 20 (preferably 17-18) but I was wondering how much it would cost for the insurance of a brand new Yamaha r125 and a Kawasaki Ninja 300 at each age between 17 to 20, thanks guys and it would clear some thoughts on how much it would be, what age seems good. I really want to get a bike before uni.""

Car released to my insurance company?

my car has been released to my insurance company, for them to ascertain whether my car is repairable or is a write off, the car an MGTF Convertible was burnt to dust at the week-end and no courtesy car has been provided, making my journey to Edinburgh from Glasgow and back again every workday a bit of a nightmare, has anyone any idea how long this process of making me an offer will take, as it is costing me a fortune in rail fares""

Is there some kind of insurance I can buy for my pit bull while renting a home/apt?

I'm not looking for housing, but I know how difficult it is to get while owning a dog over 25 lbs and a pit bull mix to boot! Is there a type of insurance that I can get that will over-ride or cover whatever it is in the commerical insurance that makes people reject me for my dog breed? I have read somewhere there might be, but I don't know what it is and what was the experience with using it? I'm wondering if it's something I should get now and have a history of having or just get when I need it.""

Insurance Prices please help?

I want to know how much insurance will be. I need auto, health, life, and renters insurance. What prices do the top insurance companies promise for auto, health, life and renters?""

I need insurance for my car for cheap i'm 21 i had my license for 8 months?

i just bought my car and i need insurance my parents cannot help me . i was thinking about getting insurance out of state .

Can I keep the check from the insurance, and don't repair my car?

Can I keep the check from the insurance, and don't repair my car?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/maryland-insurance-license-search-noah-daniels/"

[jmd303]

Ive decided to write this blog. Not because I want to be heard but because all i want is a release. A healthy release. To be happy. To feel something again and all my heart wants is to never feel alone.

Ill tell my story first. Over 3 months ago my life was perfect. Or in my opinion it was to me. I was powering through my second year of my building design course and had been dating a kind, gentle guy for the last 18 months. He was like no other guy I had dated before and he made me a better woman. More considerate and I stressed less with him. We loved eachother or atleast I thought we did. We never pushed anything on eachother and barely had fights and when we did disagree, the fights never lasted long because we both knew that loving eachother was more of a mission than fighting with eachother.

It was long distance relationship about 1 and a half hours from the CBD of town or 2 hours if from my house. And although it was tough, we made it work. We would drive to one another. Him more so than I because I was contracted to work alot of weekends although, i was determined to make time for him because he was so important to me. His flaws were that of mild selfishness and being a little bit of a know it all. And although those traits are annoying they were always masked beautifully with his charm and large vocabulary that would be able to manipulate any insult or fight in his favor or to be seen as the more mature person in the relationship. He was far from mature and although he was charming…. I always saw through it. That was both a skill and curse of mine. Sometimes I wish I just believed it all and didnt see any of his flaws but we are after all only human. Despite these mild flaws I still loved him no matter what. My heart raced when he looked at me and when he put his arms around me I felt safe and warm.

For a little while I noticed he was having a hard time at work and at home with his family. Mostly because they had made him feel bad for leaving to see me all the time and his sister had not developed a proper healthy social life that she became dependant on him which is understandable as thats what siblings are for. His job also was very demanding and long as he was a draftee for a large design production company. Pushing out floor plans was a mission to managers whereas my ex partner valued quality in work and wanted to ensure a better deal for his clients and for the designs to be structurally sound and worth the money spent. He was a hard worker and that was another trait I loved about him and boasted about with anyone when he was not in my presence. I could see he struggled to keep everyone happy and it put a weight on him but he powered on and all we spoke about was looking forward to everything being simple and being able to come home and kiss eachother and be there for one another. Although we never pushed any ideas of family and living arrangements we gradually fell into the arrangements of house inspections. It was so natural and not pushed and I was feeling more and more content with life.

Approximately 3 weeks before my schooling was coming to an end for the year my ex rang me after work. I was surprised he rang and thought it was gonna be another lovely phone call full of “i miss you” and “cant wait for the school holidays. Finally get more time and family events together”. He told me he was down. Struggling and didnt know what he wanted to do. I was very thrown and said ask over and over what he wanted and how I could help make his situation better. I started shaking when I realised he was leading up to a break up.. I asked him outright if he was breaking up with me…and to my surprise, he was.. He was very apologetic and felt the need to explain that he thought I was the perfect girl just a bad time scenario.. the moment I heard that I felt like such a sad cliche… Like in really bad movies with b grade actors that cried ugly. My heart was absolutely broken and he could not tell me or did not know why he needed to break up.. he just knew he needed time or change and was unsure if the issue was me, him or his current situation with everything else in life. I knew in my heart he just decided I wasnt worth it. I was the girl that just filled his emptyness that had been around since he graduated high school. Struggling to find a girl and then building his ego up when he got what he wanted… or atleast thats how I feel and felt as i heard his empty and unsure excuses.

Although I was angry. I was so soo angry at him part of me still felt so very much in love with him. And still do.. he was and still is not a bad guy deep down… Thats the hardest part of watching someone you love move on. Being inlove with them but, not being with them. You lurk his facebook and hope to get a text message begging to take you back and it never happens. It got to a point where I decided that I had to move on because my heart could not take anymore. 1 month passes and although I had high hopes he still did not want me back but, i maintained busy and looked forward to the future and that was when it happened…

To my shock I learned I fell pregnant to my ex boyfriend. It was not a recent pregnancy. It had already matured to 10 weeks in my belly by this point. The day I used the at home pregnancy test my heart dropped again for the second time. I had cried and screamed, yelling out for my mum and sister in hopes that I was dreaming and that my nightmare hadnt become true. The lonely pregnant spinster that was unloved and depressed. I cried alot and then got mad and I remember clearly thinking “that asshole led me on in our relationship, got me pregnant and left me to pick up the pieces”.

I laid in my bed, tossing and turning deciding what my next step would be. I read up on articles and went to my closest family members for advice and spoke to a counselor within the 24hrs of knowing. All were supportive on either end of the spectrum. Little did alot of people know I had a chemical abortion not long after high school with another ex boyfriend of mine with no other reason other than I was too young and had so much to live for, i gave up my first possible child. And had also gone through a miscarriage but had not known until after I had lost the baby. These life experiences played with my mind alot and I did the math and learned that I would be 6 months off 24 when this baby arrives. So many reasons for and against having this child came to play. Most of the ‘against’ reasons were that of me looking out for my ex boyfriends feelings and future. Funny how he treated me and I still felt like protecting him more than myself and more than my oncoming child. The fact that I still loved him clouded my decision that would be best for my conscious, heart and possibly future. How wrong is that!?

I decided enough was enough. I went to the 10 week ultrasound and there it was. A perfect little baby with a head, two hands and two legs. The baby was actively moving around, sucking its thumb and the moment I saw it I knew to my core I couldn’t give he or she up. I loved it and I didnt even think it was possible as I saw those types of woman as crazy nutjobs just wanting to have babies. I never understood why women could not give up something they had not yet physically seen or kissed goodnight or even built a relationship with…. until now. I knew with some health concerns that I would struggle to carry a child had I continued to delay it as I approached 30 years of age or longer (although it was never a serious concern of mine). The chemical abortion also did a little number on my uterus and if i did another one now  at 10 weeks it would be a more messy abortion and would result in scarring of my uterus tissue which is what the doctor warned me about… I then started to consider other life aspects as I was nearing the end of my design course with 6 months left. My car was large enough and other materialistic objects were not a worry with things like baby showers and government funding. Support was immense from family, friends and even work colleagues. Now the real question. Was I ready? Was i ready to tackle such a massive change in my life? Was I ready to tackle on my career and a child. Knowing full well that it was going to be absolutely hard in life. I wasnt sugar coating anything my head knew it was going to be the biggest game changer in my life. Being a single mum and trying to put my foot in the door in the workplace.

My dad reminded me of something and did not tell me in anyway what he wanted me to do nor did he help me make my mind up. All he did was sit with me and explain that all the women in our family, the mothers and mothers before them were all very strong women. Even the daughters were ones that would never show weakness and were the most hard working and made the most of any situation. Life has always thrown its darts my families way and we always seem to make it through because we are strong people and a strong family unit.

So despite my age, my marital status, life experience and readiness. I made the decision to keep the baby. Not based on those factors specifically but, based on my heart. It had gone through so much thus far that I could not for the life of me get rid of another child and feel later the guilt that is destroying life and apart of myself. The health of my uterus and the risk that I may not have many or no childen later on in life hit me hard. My decision was made up from many factors but ones things for sure, I did it with no one elses heart or future in mind other than my childs and mine. My ex had become a distant thought in my mind it was tough but, it had to be done.

After a couple of days I contacted my ex partner and told him the news. He took it well but, the moment I told him I was keeping it he went into a small panic and kept asking me “why”?!. Why?!.. I was so overwhelmed that I knew my reasons wouldn’t be understood by a man and especially not at that stage as I only just told him what I had planned on doing. Time was the key but, time was something he didnt want to wait for with knowing my reasoning.. Although it clicked in my head, I honestly did not need to explain myself to him. I mean why would I?, it was a decision I made when I was left on my own… looking back, when he was overwhelmed and felt bad for leaving me he too could not tell me his honest to heart reasons except for that he didnt know why and need to figure himself out. I just expected him to respect my decision as I did his when he chose to leave me. I was no crazy ex girlfriend. I was a respectful ex girlfriend and only wanted whats best for him. I figured he would have the decency to do the same. He could not.. It upset him and angered him, naturally. I honestly expected nothing less as it was a huge deal but, he behaved like someone i had never met before. He was no longer the guy I loved. He changed for the worse and became a real jerk. His selfishness amplified and I was made out to be selfish for the making this decision that I felt was important to my heart and body. Apparently that was a selfish thing to do in his eyes.. Its as if he didnt want me to have my health and happiness, he wanted me to do what was best for him despite the fact that I said he didnt need to be physically involved in the childs life. I was in no way tieing him down because I wanted him to be with the baby knowing he loved it and be with me because he knew he loved me. But that was all a dream and a hope at this stage. For now all I wanted was to take care of my child and myself. To be happy and healthy!

His indicated he wants nothing to do with our litte one and wants to travel the world and do things that make him happy. He claims being selfish is not a bad thing but to what extent is that not a bad thing?. With little to no communication efforts from him or his family and I feel as though he will forever regret this decision in life because I plan on raising the best damn kid in the world. I will be there for every Birthday, Christmas , Easter and family holiday. Im gonna show mini me the world and empower this little person so that he or she does not get treated poorly, is respectful and keeps its head held high. ❤

[daveywankenobie]

My last post was deep and reflective. It was an effort to deal with some very deep feelings, and it did.

I felt somehow purged after writing it – and the feedback both publicly and privately was both humbling and heartfelt. I can’t thank those who took the time to reach out enough. Your words (and sometimes tears) meant everything to me.

In a very buoyant frame of mind I’ve taken some time today to look through the photos that I FORCED myself to take and keep – regardless of how they made me feel at the time. Many of them I felt showed me in a poor light and I was intensely embarrassed when I looked at my own image.

However I don’t regret taking a single one because today I’ve been able to look back over the feelings and thoughts that I experienced on my journey and milestones so far and see the progression thats happened over the last year – starting on the 26th January 2016.

However from my blog’s perspective it really started on the 10th February when I began writing and shortly after tried to walk somewhere and use my exercise bike.

The walking distance I was capable of (which at the time tore both my calf muscles and the plantar tendon in the base of my right foot) was roughly the end of my street or just past the beer garden at a local pub (the Saxon Mill). On my bike I managed around 0.4 miles before I was in agony and couldn’t breathe.

However I’d stopped drinking and was beginning to think about improving my health. It took a while though as I’d decided that I needed to be certain that was a thing of the past before I tried to diet.

My brother took a sneaky photo following this in mid March – which (if you take into account the picture above my head) says much about our mutual tendency to take the mickey out of eachother, but even more about how far I’d fallen health wise. My face, arms and stomach are swollen and bloated – just like the rest of me.

However, quietly sitting on my wrist (although I didn’t know at the time) was my new best friend.

On the 14th April I finished an intensive four week recovery programme which used Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and mindfulness to help me explore my relationship with alcohol, food, and the recent death of my mother.

I’d promised myself that As soon as this was complete I’d start a diet plan of some kind – so I did. On the 16th of April I joined Slimming World.

This was a truly terrifying and horrible day – but also the start of something wonderful. I was 34st 8.5lbs when I stepped on the scales, and could hardly fit on the little red chairs in the school hall.

I cried myself to a standstill writing my blog later that evening.

Two weeks after starting I’d lost eight pounds. In many ways I was still a little in denial about the task at hand – but feeling more positive. In early May I tried to walk small distances again – and found that I couldn’t do even 1/3 of a lap of the park near to where I worked (Arrow Valley in Redditch) but persisted and also started trying to walk around St Nicholas Park in Warwick.

This started twin addictions – one for walking in the park, and the other related to a group of cygnets that I spotted. Ultimately only one of them survived – and that day (forgetting what a baby swan was called) I christened it ‘The Swanling‘ – but please don’t ask me which one is which!.

I’d also started collecting certificates and stickers. This too would become something of an addiction…

However I was initially struggling to understand the SW plan. I’d begun to eat things in the wrong quantities and had my first blip quite early on – which knocked my confidence. For the first (and last) time I stomped out of the group without staying for the talk. It was a big mistake.

I spent the week hating myself needlessly.

At this point I started realising that the Apple Watch on my arm might be more than just a toy – and began (hamfistedly) trying to track my walking progress. I still couldn’t walk far – but by the 3rd of June I was able to do a single lap of Arrow Valley or St Nicholas.

The crappy app I used gave continually unreliable stats – but I was (with a LOT of sitting) beginning to gradually improve.

Sometimes I found the whole process really demoralising though and at times was in near constant pain – tearing muscle after muscle as well as still suffering badly with plantar heel and tendon problems.

Slimming World however seemed to know just when I needed picking up, and around this time I quite unexpectedly got an award. On the 18th June I was voted my group’s man of the year – and also picked up my 2 stone award.

At this point I was still taking 5 pills a day for my type 2 diabetes – but for the first time on the 12th of July I had become fit enough to walk down the hill near my house to a diabetic retinopathy screening and back up again.

It was a massive milestone for me, but also an annoying reminder that chairs with arms were still my natural predator.

On the plus side all the extra activity meant the certificates kept rolling in during July and by the end of it I was 3.5 stone lighter. This was a much needed morale boost, because by then I’d also been made redundant…

However, despite no small degree of sadness I tried to see it as an opportunity and a new beginning rather than an end. The weather was good in August and I was loving my walking!

It was around this time that a chance photo with a friend who was exhibiting at the Leamington Art in the Park festival (she’s very talented) made me realise just how far I’d come. All of the extra notches that I’d had to make in my belt suddenly became really apparent when it slipped out of it’s loop.

At the time I realised I’d lost around 8 inches from my waist.

This REALLY spurred me on – and I began to test myself more and more.

In August I returned to Aberystwyth (my university town – and somewhere I love) and climbed constitution hill which was followed by a bath for the first time in around a decade. On the way home the next day I then walked around the medium difficulty trail at Nant Yr Arian’s forestry commission which was something I never thought I’d be able to manage.

Until I did.

I finally rounded off the month by conquering a fear that had been with me for ages. I caught the train to Birmingham and left my car behind. I had to make my way under my own steam – and there was no backup plan.

My trip was enjoyable, but also a mixed bag, and my shirt was embarrassingly soaked with sweat from the heat in the museum that I had wanted to visit. Although I’d done it I still felt like I stood out in a crowd and was very self conscious.

However I did do it – and a friend pointed out to me around this time that I had (in a week) walked the length of the English Channel. Filled with enthusiasm from this I rather whimsically set myself the goal of walking the slightly longer channel tunnel length (31.5 miles) the following week.

August also heralded more certificate successes and by the end of the month I’d lost over four and a half stone…

In September the idea of walking virtual geographical distances mushroomed a little when a lady at Slimming World casually suggested that I expand my horizons and track my progress across the globe on a larger scale.

I decided to run with this idea and plot my walking progress from the moment I joined SW – mapping it onto a virtual walk from Lands end to John o Groats (847 miles). I realised that (thanks to the friend on my wrist tracking everything that I’d done since buying it) that I was already a good way toward my goal and that I now walking around 134 miles a month!!!

I also tried to conquer my (still) nagging negative feelings about travelling to Birmingham under my own steam and not long after made a trip to the Electric cinema (something I’d wanted to do for many years but couldn’t) which was still a squeeze – even with their front row premium seats.

Thanks to around another stone being gone, September heralded a noticeable increase in mobility and I found myself exploring all over the place – often with four legged companions!

Unusually the English summer just kept on going in 2016 and October was also a great month. I spent some time exploring Hay Wood locally, got re-acquainted with canal walking, took home my six and a half stone certificate – and also managed to make it around the whole of Cardiff Bay!

To put a cherry on October’s cake I also managed to get the group’s ‘Mr Sleek’ award (and a fetching tie) as well as a seven stone award – which happens to be THE WEIGHT OF A FRIDGE FREEZER!!!

  November started to get a little chillier – and since I’m getting thin on top I embarked upon a new relationship to keep me warm in the cold winter evenings. Me and peaky are still very happy together and have yet to fall out!

Peaky kept my head warm as the leaves fell from the trees and winter drew nearer and (despite a pretty epic episode of shin splints in my left leg which is frikkin painful!!!) I managed to get some more bling, walk across the completely unmanaged and overgrown Ryton Woods (making my leg waaaaay worse like an idiot) play with a cute puppy in group and take a small fortune’s worth of huge clothes to charity.

By the time December arrived I was still motivated – but probably somewhat unsurprisingly given the time of year things slowed down – both mentally and physically. I became obsessed with the idea of reaching a ‘plateau’ and that somehow I would fail.

In reality (looking back) I was always moving forward – and just occasionally admiring the view.

Thanks to my Slimming World group and friends I stayed largely on plan throughout Christmas – even walking six miles to my brother’s house for and back for dinner on Xmas day (with an epic blister all taped up) just to ensure I wasn’t naughty.

Christmas had no bottles of Southern Comfort as was traditional for me for many years past and was powered only by the magic of weaponised caffeine.

And so we come to January.

It’s not over yet – but by the end of it I’m hoping that I’ll have my ten stone certificate. 

So far this month has seen me hit my target of walking from Land’s end to John O Groats, have my first (unsuccessful) job interview in a decade and a half, meet more dogs, start to massively increase my cardio based exercise and walk the length of the Stratford Greenway.

To make me even happier, the swanling in St Nicholas park has survived, and is flourishing. It gets a bit more beautiful every day.

So – that’s my year, and you know what? For the very first time in nearly a decade I can look back on the last twelve months of my life and feel a sense of pride.

Furthermore I feel something else to. Hope.

I no longer take medication for my diabetes (which appears to be in full retreat) and I’m far less likely to die a really early death. I’m fitter than I think I’ve ever been at any time I can remember.

I love life at the moment internet – and I can’t wait to see what the next year has in store. I hope you’re here to find out with me!

Davey

    Year one retrospective My last post was deep and reflective. It was an effort to deal with some very deep feelings, …