#also split dyed hair is Real and True btw

[beegswaz]

I FINALLY THINK I HAVE A GOOD GASLIGHT GATEKEEP GIRLBOSS FUSION DESIGN RAHH

[bthump]

i was wondering and am curious about your opinion - we know guts is important enough for griffith to risk his life for repeatedly, made him forget his dream etc. etc. but do you think (pre-eclipse, pre-torture, pre- guts leaving ofc) griffith would *give* his life for him?

*risking* it still gives at least some chance of survival, but in a hypothetical gun-to-the-head situation where his own death for the price of guts's life would be certain, a situation that would allow him a little time to really consider it, not just an impulsive decision in the heat of the battle etc. - would he choose himself and his dream over guts, or would the guarantee of his own death, and thus no soul-shattering concept of continuing to live the rest of his life without the slightest chance of achieving the dream, be enough to for him to take that 'risking his life' a step further and fully sacrifice himself for guts's sake?

alternatively, if guts offered his own life for griffith's (i believe he would, but maybe you have a different opinion?), would griffith accept it?

lol this was a lot of fun to think about, ty!

Honestly I think my opinion is that Griffith wouldn't trade his life for Guts' if he had a chance to really consider it (and couldn't impulsively change his mind at the last second.) I think during the Golden Age, like before Guts leaves, Griffith's feelings for him are more subconscious - he knows he likes him and wants him to stay by his side, but he doesn't know that Guts is more important to him than his dream, and I think he'd consider that a personal failing if he did. I mean he kind of does in canon, imo.

And imo Griffith meant it when he said he has no friends among the Hawks - not because it's true, but because it's his way of trying to keep himself emotionally distanced. So he doesn't consciously think of Guts as his bff.

I also think that Griffith, when he's not actively deluding himself about the philosophical importance of having a dream lol, sees pursuing the dream as like, a duty he owes to everyone who died for it. In addition, he also feels like there's no point to living if he's not pursuing his dream. This is pretty headcanon-y, but I think it makes sense for Griffith to lowkey have some like, suicidal ideation going on. Dying would almost be a relief from the pressure of his dream, but it would also be a failure. Not to detract from the significance of Griffith sacrifcing himself for Guts - imo the fact that he's risking his dream for him in those moments makes it even more significant than just risking his life.

So like basically if someone had a sword to Guts' throat and said 'you or him' I think Griffith would want to give his life for Guts, both because he loves him and can't stand to see him die and because it would be an escape from his dream, but he wouldn't allow himself to, basically. He would tell himself that as a Hawk Guts is supposed to die for him and it's just a pebble on the path yadda yadda yadda and then he'd never be happy again lol.

On the other hand, if Guts offered his own life for Griffith's (I also believe he would btw), I don't think Griffith would accept. To me this falls more in line with impulsive decisions, without a real chance to think about it, and Guts wins those. If Griffith had a sword to his throat, and Guts was like 'nooo kill me instead' (in a scenario where this somehow makes sense) Griffith's automatic response would be 'absolutely not' and he'd probably slit his own throat.

Plus choosing to trade Guts' life for his own is more active a choice than simply not chosing to save Guts by stepping in and sacrificing himself, and the more active a role he has to play in Guts' death, the less he's able to do it. He can sacrifice him during the Eclipse in that moment of true despair, but even as Femto he can't actually kill him himself. I can't really imagine human Griffith choosing to let Guts die in his place.

I'm glad your question split that particular hair between Griffith sacrificing himself and Guts sacrificing himself lol because yeah I do think there's a difference.

[agentrouka-blog]

Tyrion and Tysha murder mystery hints - first mention in the text

This thing just keeps tugging at me, and this recent thread made me ambitious to examine it in more detail. So I’ll look at hints for an even darker edge to the story of Tyrion and Tysha in the parts of the text that actually mention her.

Since I have limited time, I’ll do several posts. This one is about how we learn about Tysha in A Game of Thrones.

We head into AGOT, Tyrion VI via a chapter transition from AGOT, Jon V, where Jon talks Maester Aemon into choosing Samwell as his assistant. In the presence of his current assistant Chett, who - it is revealed later in the ASOS Prologue - murdered a girl he liked for rejecting him.

Chett gave a nasty laugh. “I’ve seen what happens to soft lordlings when they’re put to work. Set them to churning butter and their hands blister and bleed. Give them an axe to split logs, and they cut off their own foot.”

“I know one thing Sam could do better than anyone.”

“Yes?” Maester Aemon prompted.

Jon glanced warily at Chett, standing beside the door, his boils red and angry. “He could help you,” he said quickly. “He can do sums, and he knows how to read and write. I know Chett can’t read, and Clydas has weak eyes. Sam read every book in his father’s library. He’d be good with the ravens too. Animals seem to like him. Ghost took to him straight off. There’s a lot he could do, besides fighting. The Night’s Watch needs every man. Why kill one, to no end? Make use of him instead.”

Maester Aemon closed his eyes, and for a brief moment Jon was afraid that he had gone to sleep. Finally he said, “Maester Luwin taught you well, Jon Snow. Your mind is as deft as your blade, it would seem.”

“Does that mean …?”

“It means I shall think on what you have said,” the maester told him firmly. “And now, I believe I am ready to sleep. Chett, show our young brother to the door.”

(AGOT, Jon V)

The chapter is followed by AGOT, Tyrion VI, where Tyrion and Bronn rest on the high road after being kicked out of the Gates of the Moon, after he won his trial by combat:

They had taken shelter beneath a copse of aspens just off the high road. Tyrion was gathering dead-wood while their horses took water from a mountain stream. He stooped to pick up a splintered branch and examined it critically. “Will this do? I am not practiced at starting fires. Morrec did that for me.” 

The entire conversation between Jon, Aemon and Chett sets up Tyrion. A lordling, bad with manual labor, but smart and a reader. Yet we know he is no Samwell Tarly in his sensibilities, and the last sentence is dedicated to Chett.

Chett...

The only women Chett had ever known were the whores he’d bought in Mole’s Town. When he’d been younger, the village girls took one look at his face, with its boils and its wen, and turned away sickened. The worst was that slattern Bessa. She’d spread her legs for every boy in Hag’s Mire so he’d figured why not him too? He even spent a morning picking wildflowers when he heard she liked them, but she’d just laughed in his face and told him she’d crawl in a bed with his father’s leeches before she’d crawl in one with him. She stopped laughing when he put his knife in her. That was sweet, the look on her face, so he pulled the knife out and put it in her again. When they caught him down near Sevenstreams, old Lord Walder Frey hadn’t even bothered to come himself to do the judging. He’d sent one of his bastards, that Walder Rivers, and the next thing Chett had known he was walking to the Wall with that foul-smelling black devil Yoren. To pay for his one sweet moment, they took his whole life.

But now he meant to take it back, and Craster’s women too. That twisted old wildling has the right of it. If you want a woman to wife you take her, and none of this giving her flowers so that maybe she don’t notice your bloody boils. Chett didn’t mean to make that mistake again.

Like Tyrion, Chett is rejected by others for his appearance, has a violent father and a lot of resentment that comes out in the shape of murdering “slatterns”. He also mixes it up with the idea of marriage. Like Tyrion, the cold night reminds Chett of the girl in his past.

He could see Bessa’s face floating before him. It wasn’t the knife I wanted to put in you, he wanted to tell her. I picked you flowers, wild roses and tansy and goldencups, it took me all morning. His heart was thumping like a drum, so loud he feared it might wake the camp. Ice caked his beard all around his mouth. Where did that come from, with Bessa? Whenever he’d thought of her before, it had only been to remember the way she’d looked, dying. What was wrong with him?

Chett killed her in a rage, but the truth is layered and haunts him.

But back to Tyrion.

Tyrion VI emphasizes Tyrion’s cleverness as he converses with Bronn, explaining his strategy in the Vale for how to steal Bronn from Cat’s service and make use of his practical talents, and his strategy for their travels in the Mountains of the Moon. Tyrion talks, Bronn listens and agrees to serve him.

The point is, Tyrion is very observant and smart. Reader, trust Tyrion’s judgent and words, is the message. Then we get more personal.

As they light a fire and eat a goat, Tyrion remembers his goaler Mord who treated him cruelly in the sky cells.

(Mord, btw, translates to murder in many a germanic/Scandinvian language.)

“And yet you gave the turnkey a purse of gold,” Bronn said.

“A Lannister always pays his debts.”

Even Mord had scarcely believed it when Tyrion tossed him the leather purse. The gaoler’s eyes had gone big as boiled eggs as he yanked open the drawstring and beheld the glint of gold. “I kept the silver,” Tyrion had told him with a crooked smile, “but you were promised the gold, and there it is.” It was more than a man like Mord could hope to earn in a lifetime of abusing prisoners. “And remember what I said, this is only a taste. If you ever grow tired of Lady Arryn’s service, present yourself at Casterly Rock, and I’ll pay you the rest of what I owe you.” With golden dragons spilling out of both hands, Mord had fallen to his knees and promised that he would do just that.

The image of coins spilling from hands is picked up later.

Tyrion was hoping to lure in the mountain clans, but they take their time showing up, so he tries to be even more conspicuous.

Tyrion chuckled. “Then we ought to sing and send them fleeing in terror.” He began to whistle a tune.

He chooses the “terrible” tune himself. It leads straight to his memory:

“Myrish. ‘The Seasons of My Love.’ Sweet and sad, if you understand the words. The first girl I ever bedded used to sing it, and I’ve never been able to put it out of my head.” Tyrion gazed up at the sky. It was a clear cold night and the stars shone down upon the mountains as bright and merciless as truth. “I met her on a night like this,” he heard himself saying. “Jaime and I were riding back from Lannisport when we heard a scream, and she came running out into the road with two men dogging her heels, shouting threats.

Myrish, as in the Myrish lens. The object Lysa sends Catelyn, which has a false bottom hiding the real message in a secret language, a message of murder and conspiracy. A secret language, a foreign language, like Mord.

"A lens is an instrument to help us see."     (AGOT, Catelyn II)

Bright and merciless as truth.

My brother unsheathed his sword and went after them, while I dismounted to protect the girl. She was scarcely a year older than I was, dark-haired, slender, with a face that would break your heart. It certainly broke mine. Lowborn, half-starved, unwashed … yet lovely. They’d torn the rags she was wearing half off her back, so I wrapped her in my cloak while Jaime chased the men into the woods. By the time he came trotting back, I’d gotten a name out of her, and a story. She was a crofter’s child, orphaned when her father died of fever, on her way to … well, nowhere, really.

Where Tysha went will become a theme. @une-nuit-pour-se-souvenir examines that beautifully here.

But even right here, the tone is ominous, and GRRM goes out of his way to emphasize it with the ellipses.

We get the story of Jaime chasing after the outlaws and Tyrion and Tysha falling into bed at an inn after drinking, eating and talking, and the story of their marriage, and its end.

Tyrion was surprised at how desolate it made him feel to say it, even after all these years. Perhaps he was just tired. “That was the end of my marriage.” He sat up and stared at the dying fire, blinking at the light.

“He sent the girl away?”

“He did better than that,” Tyrion said. “First he made my brother tell me the truth. The girl was a whore, you see. Jaime arranged the whole affair, the road, the outlaws, all of it. He thought it was time I had a woman. He paid double for a maiden, knowing it would be my first time.

NOTHING about this makes sense, which is ridiculous when you consider we were just hammered over the head with how smart Tyrion is supposed to be.

Since when is Jaime prone to setting up complex schemes? Why would feel the need to push Tyrion to have sex at thirteen, and why would be ever do it this way? Why would be hire him a virgin for his first time? We don’t question it because GRRM has told us not to question the smartiepants. But as we later learn, that was all. not. true. So maybe other things aren’t true, either.

“After Jaime had made his confession, to drive home the lesson, Lord Tywin brought my wife in and gave her to his guards. They paid her fair enough. A silver for each man, how many whores command that high a price? He sat me down in the corner of the barracks and bade me watch, and at the end she had so many silvers the coins were slipping through her fingers and rolling on the floor, she …” The smoke was stinging his eyes. Tyrion cleared his throat and turned away from the fire, to gaze out into darkness. “Lord Tywin had me go last,” he said in a quiet voice. “And he gave me a gold coin to pay her, because I was a Lannister, and worth more.”

The parallels to his memory of Mord are striking. Silver and gold, coins spilling from hands, a “price” beyond expectation... and a promise of something very sinister at the next meeting.

After a time he heard the noise again, the rasp of steel on stone as Bronn sharpened his sword. “Thirteen or thirty or three, I would have killed the man who did that to me.”

1) Nice how Bronn makes it about Tyrion’s pain. Tysha’s pain does not exist to them. And so the reader is also drawn away from it. Poor Tyrion.

2) Another reference to killing. It foreshadows Tyrion’s murder of Tywin over this very matter, of course, but at the same time...

Tyrion gestured impatiently with the bow. “Tysha. What did you do with her, after my little lesson?”

“I don’t recall.”

“Try harder. Did you have her killed?”

His father pursed his lips. “There was no reason for that, she’d learned her place … and had been well paid for her day’s work, I seem to recall. I suppose the steward sent her on her way. I never thought to inquire.”

“On her way where?”

“Wherever whores go.”

Tyrion’s finger clenched.  (ASOS, Tyrion XI)

I don’t think it can be emphasized enough that this happens right after he murders Shae. Shae the whore.

“Did you ever like it?” He cupped her cheek, remembering all the times he had done this before. All the times he’d slid his hands around her waist, squeezed her small firm breasts, stroked her short dark hair, touched her lips, her cheeks, her ears. All the times he had opened her with a finger to probe her secret sweetness and make her moan. “Did you ever like my touch?”

“More than anything,” she said, “my giant of Lannister.”

That was the worst thing you could have said, sweetling.

Tyrion slid a hand under his father’s chain, and twisted. The links tightened, digging into her neck. “For hands of gold are always cold, but a woman’s hands are warm,” he said. He gave cold hands another twist as the warm ones beat away his tears.

And just before he asks him about Tysha, Tywin assures him he was meant to be sent to the Wall. Whether or not that’s a lie, we’re looking at another Chett parallel. Murdering a “slattern”, facing life at the Wall.

We close Tyrion’s memory of Tysha:

Tyrion swung around to face him. “You may get that chance one day.  Remember what I told you. A Lannister always pays his debts.” He yawned. “I think I will try and sleep. Wake me if we’re about to die.”

He rolled himself up in the shadowskin and shut his eyes. The ground was stony and cold, but after a time Tyrion Lannister did sleep. He dreamt of the sky cell. This time he was the gaoler, not the prisoner, big, with a strap in his hand, and he was hitting his father, driving him back, toward the abyss …

Like Chett, his thoughts return to the girl. He turns into the goaler, Mord, his rage comes through, his capability of great violence. In ASOS, his lashing out at Tywin is preceeded by directing his violence toward the “whore” who allegedly betrayed him. Which is preceeded by a truth about Tysha.

“Thank you?” Tyrion’s voice was choked. “He gave her to his guards. A barracks full of guards. He made me … watch.” Aye, and more than watch. I took her too … my wife …

“I never knew he would do that. You must believe me.”

“Oh, must I?” Tyrion snarled. “Why should I believe you about anything, ever? She was my wife!”

“Tyrion—”

He hit him. It was a slap, backhanded, but he put all his strength into it, all his fear, all his rage, all his pain. Jaime was squatting, unbalanced. The blow sent him tumbling backward to the floor. “I … I suppose I earned that.”

“Oh, you’ve earned more than that, Jaime. You and my sweet sister and our loving father, yes, I can’t begin to tell you what you’ve earned. But you’ll have it, that I swear to you. A Lannister always pays his debts.” Tyrion waddled away, almost stumbling over the turnkey again in his haste. Before he had gone a dozen yards, he bumped up against an iron gate that closed the passage. Oh, gods. It was all he could do not to scream.

(ASOS, Tyrion XI)

The turnkey here is interesting. Once again, Tysha’s memory is associated with a cell and the presence of a turnkey. In his anguished memory, Tyrion almost stumbles over him. The last turnkey was Mord.

So, just looking at Tysha’s first mention, there are so many ominous connections. Murder murder murder.

The chapter ends with Tyrion meeting and “hiring” the mountain clans. How? To avenge himself on Lysa Arryn, he promises them the entire Vale. Really driving home that “a Lannister pays his debts” is all about disproportionate retribution.

A few chapter later, to create some distance to this dark tale, Tyrion meets Shae and sets up to re-create his entire Tysha trauma. The two are intertwined, so why should their ends not be?

That’s fodder for a different post, though.

[skiittles]

bullshit

i am really thankful for this site. i know there are other places i could spill my shit but here we are. i feel like i’m not going to get back into writing my feelings so why not blog into a void i’ve gone thru alot in the passed few years between an abusive relationship, sexual assault, and pediatric cancer. fuck. who would’ve thought THAT would happen to my family?? you never think it’s gonna be you. not me sounding like a young adult novel...but its true. the movies lowkey do a good job at describing how it feels to get news about cancer. it’s devastating. it makes your ears ring and your vision go blurry. especially when it’s a child, like who deserves that?? i was 18 when my 12 yr old sister was diagnosed with medulloma blastoma...i dont care if the spelling is right but thats how it sounds. it has no relation to genetic cancer, roughly 8 kids in every state get it and it almost ruined my family. sometimes i hate talking about it but most of the time it feels good. it is constantly on my chest so when i talk about it, it’s like a mini vacation because someone else gets to feel a glimpse of the pain i felt when we were told. it’s not about attention, it’s not about the spotlight on me. its please someone else feel this pain while i’m talking up a storm so i can stop feeling it for a split second. thats selfish but sometimes, most times, i don’t care. heart shattering isn’t even close to what i felt the first time i saw her after everything happened.   and let me be clear, i didn’t have the best relationship with my sister prior to...we were really far apart in age and i found both my younger sisters annoying. so when she ended up almost dying in the hospital i realized how detached i was from her life..and it shouldnt have taken that much for me to realize it and i will feel guilty about that for a long time. i wish it would stop, honestly. thankfully, we have a great relationship now and i miss her all the time.  the hospital was horrible. she had brain surgery because one of her tumors, the biggest one, caused her to stop responding and that’s the only reason anyone believed she had cancer. every doctor before then said she just had horrible vertigo and that it would never go away. wrong dickfuck it was 6 fucking brain tumors. i mean why did you even go to school you fucking idiot. k i l l  y o u r s e l f. i watched my mom deteriorate in real time and i have to say that is not something i wish on anyone. if there’s anything worse than watching your baby sister have a fucking brain tumor (or 6) it’s watching your mother fall apart because there’s nothing she can do.  i found out thru facebook that she had cancer. i rushed to the hospital expecting another answer, as if that were true. mom told me she didn’t even deserve the 12 years she got with her. i probably will never forget the look in her eyes when she said that. she meant it. i told her she was being too hard on herself. it breaks my heart she would even say that. i know most kids say they have the best mom, but i have never seen a mother love her own kids like my mom. it’s fierce and unapologetic. it’s like lightning. she’s the strongest woman i know, and i’m grateful Jesus gave me to her. my sister is alive btw. she’s my age now when i found out, and she’s beautiful. the cancer took her hair forever but she doesn’t even need it, and she has plenty of wigs. i’m so proud of her. i tear up sometimes when i see her because she has been through so much that she didn’t deserve. harsh realities and so much nausea. hair loss, hearing loss, sense of smell loss, cataracts in her eyes, weight loss, chemo...being ripped from everything she knew at 12...i can’t imagine. and she still loves Jesus. she’s so much stronger than me. the wisdom she already has is inspiring. and she’s so kind, the kind that would make shitty people mad and i love it about her, she shines. i want the world for my sisters my youngest sister is a completely different kind of strong. she overcame having to possibly bury her sister at the ripe old age of 10. she went thru and watched her sister wither away from chemo and cancer and endured being neglected unintentionally bc bailey needed so much attention...she was also ripped away from everything she knew at an even younger age.  she was too young to go in the hospital room bailey almost died in so my mom literally recorded a video of her on her phone of jamie saying goodbye to bailey and how much she loves her and that she will miss her. i....have never forgotten that. she was crying in the video. she was so little. she didnt deserve that. shes 16 now and she is a girl on fire. so incredibly kind and sweet but if you cross her she will absolutely call you out. i admire both of these girls, i love them

i dont have time for therapy so this is what ive decided will be my therapy!

[simsstuffmarie]

100 Questions To Invade My Personal Life

I haven’t been tagged by anyone but I just thought I’d give it a go as I’m bored! Found this on @angelisims Simblr 😁

1. What's your middle name, and do you like it? My middle name is Marie and I do quite like it actually...it's pretty common lol

2. Are you artistic? Yeah I love doodling and just drawing random things occasionally

3. Have you had your first kiss? Duhhhhhh! I have a boyfriend!

4. What is your life goal? To be successful in my personal goals

5. Do you have any experiences with a famous person? I met Princess Diana when I was little, and a few years ago when I was doing my family tree I found out that my 5th cousin is Michael Douglas lol

6. Do you play any sports? Only if sleeping is classed as a sport?!?!

7. What's your worst fear? Being unhappy and unsuccessful....oh and spiders and heights

8. Who's your biggest inspiration? Myself....never aspire to be anybody else because it will never make you happy

9. Do you have any cool talents? Not really....I can fit my fist in my mouth! Does that count?

10. are you a morning person? HELL NO!!!

11. How do you feel about pet names? Me and Will have them....so I don’t really care. I never really call people by their proper names anyway 12. Do you like to read? Yes. But I rarely get time to sit down with a good book without being interrupted by someone 13. Name a list of shows that have changed your life. Grey's Anatomy - I’ve loved that show since episode one Band Of Brothers/ The Pacific - Just amazing True Blood - Yeassss Vampire Diaries - Ermmmmm....is their one member of that cast who isn’t hot?!

14. Do you care about your follower count?

I’m not overly obsessed with it, but it gives me a warm fuzzy feeling when I see I’ve got a new follower (love you all btw!!)

15. What's the best dream you've had?

I can’t really remember my dreams

16. Have you ever kissed someone of your same gender?

I always kiss my girlfriends....not in a passionate way, just a little peck! Especially when we’ve been out for the night haha

17. Do you have any pets?

Not personally, but I treat my boyfriends' dog like he is mine

18. Are you religious?

Nope

19. Are you a people person?

I get a bit anxious and stressed out/ short tempered if there is a lot of people around in large crowds

20. Are you considered popular?

I don't think so..............

21. What is one of your bad habits?

Self-doubt

22. What's something that makes you feel vulnerable

Being around people who “look better” and are in better physical shape than me

23. What would you name your children?

Girl - Raynor Boy - Finn

24. Who's your celebrity crush?

Tom Hardy, Kellan Lutz, Charlie Hunnam, Shemar Moore, Jamie Dornan, Henry Cavill, Tyson Beckford.....I could actually go on forever!! 

25. What's your best subject?

Human Biology, physiology and anatomy

26. Dogs or cats?

Both

27. Most-used social media besides Tumblr?

Facebook

28. Best friends name

Vikki, Hayley and Nikki

29. Who does your main family consist of?

Me, my mum and my older brother

30. Chocolate or sugar

Chocolate

31. Have you ever been on a date?

Several

32. Do you like rollercoasters?

Only if they have over-the-head supports....not just the lap bars

33. Can you swim?

Yes, but not very well

34. What would you do in the event of an apocalypse?

My boyfriend and me actually always have this discussion and have it all worked out! There's an old prison near where we live and an abandoned army base just up the hill - and the town centre is only 10min walk away! Perfect!

35. Have you struggled with any kind of mental disorder

Anxiety - increasing at the moment.

36. Are your parents together?

Nope - divorced when I was really little

37. What's your favourite colour?

Any warm colour

38. What country are you from/do you live in?

ENGLAND!!! 

39. Favourite singer?

P!NK, Adele, James Arthur

40. Do you see yourself being famous some day?

Nope

41. Do you like dresses?

Yeah, as long as it isn't too tight

42. Favourite song right now?

Thunder - Imagine Dragons Skin - Rag’n’Bone Man

43. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

No, if you’re old enough to do it, you should be mature enough to talk about it.

44. How old were you when you first got your period?

I was quite late starting. I was 15.

45. Have you ever shot a gun?

Yeah

46. Have you ever done yoga?

Yep

47. Are you a horror girl?

I don’t mind them, but they can all be quite similar

48. Are you good at giving advice?

Great at giving it. Crap at taking it!

49. Tell us a story about your childhood.

My dad used to be in the army and we lived several places. When we lived in Cyprus we used to visit the old ruins and amphitheatre and there were loads of lizards that used to hide in the cracks of the old buildings. I decided I wanted one of them to take home so I grabbed hold of its tail, but it was stuck and I kept pulling and pulling and eventually the tail actually came off of the lizard! Immediately I started crying.

One Christmas 9also when we lived in Cyprus actually) I wanted snow on the Christmas tree, but we didn't have fake snow, so I decided to use my mum's expensive face cream and smothered the tree in cream. 

The same Christmas, me and my brother woke up before my mum and dad and decided to “sneak” into the front room to open the presents. When we got to the front room door, the handle had been taken off the door and closed, so we decided to go around the back door, which was also locked. Then tried looking through the windows but they had put bin bags all over the windows and drawn the curtains. We went back in and decided to sit my the front room door until they woke up, but we fell asleep and they found us asleep by the door on the floor.

50. How are you doing today?

Yeah, I’m OK. Thanks for asking

51. Were you a cute kid?

Newborn - yea I think I was Toddler - I was cheeky Child - Scrawny Teen - awkward

52. Can you dance?

When I’ve had a drink

53. Is there anything you do that you can't remember ever not doing?

Breathing? Eating? Drinking?

54. Have you ever dyed your hair?

Yeah quite a few times actually, just not for a long long time now

55. What colour are your eyes?

They change depending on my mood - green/blue/hazel/grey

56. What's your favourite animal?

Hedgehogs - I want one

57. Have you ever made a huge fool of yourself?

All the time!!!

58. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

My mum and I are close (even though she annoys the hell out of me) But me and my dad not really because he left when I was young. We still always saw him, but it sometimes feels like I don't know him properly...IDK....

59. Do you have good friends?

The most amazing friends....

60. Are you close with anyone of the lgbtq+ group?

I know loads of different people...I don’t really label anyone. If you’re decent to me then I’m cool with you...

61. What's your favourite class?

I don’t really have class at university....

62. List all the tv shows you are watching.

Love Island, Big Brother, OITNB, Sons Of Anarchy, Prison Break, Benidorm, Grey’s Anatomy

63. Are you organised?

I try to be

64. What was the last movie you saw? Opinion?

Split....it was actually quite good

67. Which tv character do you relate to most?

I have no clue

68. What are some things that stand between you and complete happiness?

Finances

69. If you received enough money to never need to work again, what would you spend your time doing?

Travelling the world

70. What would you change about your life if you knew you would never die?

Nothing....because every decision I made before has made me who I am now

71. What would you do differently if you knew that no one was judging you?

I don’t care if nobody judges me

72. If you could start over, what would you do differently?

Nothing

73. Would you break the law to save a loved one?

Definitely

74. When was the last time you travelled somewhere new?

Today

75. When you think of your home, what immediately comes to mind?

My bed

76. What have you done to pursue your dreams lately? How about today?

I got off my arse and got myself into university

77. What did you want to be when you were a kid?

Everything! Nurse, Air Hostess, Vet, Super Model, Ballerina, Solider, Farmer, Roman, Pop Star, Barbie, Nightclub Owner, Architect, Interior Designer..... 

78. If you dropped everything to pursue your dreams, what would you be risking?

Nothing...because real friends and family support you no matter what.

79.When did you not speak up, when you know you really should have?

That's really personal and I don’t wanna talk about it.....sorry.....

80. Describe the next five years of your life, and your plans, in a single sentence

Finish my degree, get a job, buy my own house, get married and have children

81. What would happen if you never wasted another minute of your life, what would that look like?

Skinny

82. If you could live forever, how would you spend eternity?

Seeing new things, trying new food, living!

83. How would you spend a billion dollars?

Same as above - maybe invest half of it and buy a new house and treats for my closest

84. If you could time travel, would you go to the past or the future?

Future - there is no point in trying to change the past as it got you to the place you are now....Live and Learn

85. What motivates you to succeed?

My family, friends and boyfriend

86. What dream that you’ve had has resonated with you the most?

It was an awful nightmare - about my brother and mum being murdered in front of me

87. Would you rather live in the city or the woods? Why?

The woods - because it's peaceful

88. Do you believe in life after death

Yes

89. What teacher inspired you the most? How did they?

They all thought I’d fail. Love proving people wrong. It makes me fight for everything

90. What’s your fondest childhood memory?

Living in Cyprus

91. If you could have dinner with any one person, living or dead, who would they be and why?

My Grandad - I miss the old grumps

92. What would you have to see to cry tears of joy?

Some of these really beautiful videos about people helping in the time of need, really romantic marriage proposals, and probably my first ultrasound scan if I was pregnant

93. What is the hardest lesson you had to learn in life?

You need to make a decision for yourself. Never be pressurised into it. It may be a tough one to start with and it will probably make you cry for years and years to come. But somewhere it was the right decision for you. 

94. What do you think happens after we die?

Life carries on....

95. What would you do if you could be invisible?

Sneak into loads of celebrities houses because I’m nosey

96. What's something you can't do no matter how hard you try?

Roll my tongue and roll my R’s

97. Would you want to choose the sex and appearance of your offspring?

Nope - they'd be perfect no matter what

98. How did your first crush develop?

Not very well lol

99. Is there a feeling you are trying to ignore? What is it?

Anxiousness and regret

100. Do you live or do you just exist?

At the moment I just exist - but I’m trying to live

I’d like to nominate people, but it is actually really long, and took me forever to do. So if you fancy doing it, just tag me because I’d love to read them all.

[mydreamosphere]

Annabelle me Herman kicked me to the curb he was Batman I was John Doe

Jeremy a rich ghost boy tried to take over my life, but we bonded in the end

Andi Mack was pregnant with Jonah’s child but they weren’t dating and Cyrus was jealous and tried to run away but andi told him it’s okay and to finally confess to Jonah/ Stewie was dating Brian and Brian was a bum ass nigga and an apocalypse happened and Brian proposed to stewie and became a better man, well dog, dog man? Man dog ?/ I was Geralt of rivia and went to a store with vesmer, and we laughed a lot, then I turned into a woman and my husband and his alternate universe selves fought and died and I became an alcoholic and ended up with another alternate in the end/ I was a power ranger, red one, trained a new ranger, all rangers came together after years and the we sang.

A vampire werewolf hybrid boy( he was born a vamp but made into a werewolf) was my friend but my bully and crush and turned me into a werewolf too and we had to do battle at the end and I’m sad cause he had to die but I loved him but I only just realized 😪

Magic world And human one, kinda hidden but not really. / Had massive amount of drugs, was in a true blood esque enviroment.

Club, took mad pills, nick was there, caught up and went on a date. We weren’t compatible, but we Rekindled friendship, I still loved him.

Extremely vivid dreams, lucid ones, feel so real, almost can’t tell I’m dreaming. Had powers and twin, dating same boy, interrogated ninjA turtles human versions, so hot. Fought giant troll beast creatures, killed one but he was cute.

Was in love with king of Spain even tho he’s married, I was his mistress and Assassin, we we’re sharing a cigarette and flirting, then he needed help with his sons’, Avalon, murder. Alex Lilly was there for some reason, all my old friends were Assassins with me actually. We last left off going through old castle ruins, but a spider got in the way, which the king found amusing XP

We were on water and ships and this guy didn’t want this little boy to be gay, so RuPaul raised him but he has to go away, and he cane back to visit with his boyfriend and it was so emotional and happy, then he went back to land and opened a matchmaker cafe and he had powers of love.

A movie about the apocalypse, people were turning into demons and the only way to avoid them was to remain absolutely still, I mean like the slightest movement and you were dead, it was one of the scariest dreams I’ve had. I turned into one and so did my friends, but we could retain our humanity, and we fought and found a way to the heavens and started to live in peace but god was trying to kill us all./ I found a man who could fly, and he lent me the power to do it, but I ended up being a natural with it and didn’t need his power, so he tried to get rid of me but I busted out of there and flew away.

An apocalypse and we had different groups trying to all meet up. I had oral sex with Mikey. Thanos came down and was looking for gamora, we got the help of the astrals from ffxv, but it didn’t work, and then went to destroy half the world. I killed a werewolf, but he had a boyfriend, they were werewolf priests ? It was weird, but I felt terrible and buried him. Then I was a surviver mountain-y guy with a pet bear, zombies were coming so I tried to find a place inside. I was gohan and was trying to steal moonshine from the Archean from ffxv with my friends that had a crush on me ?

My mom was giant, and kissed Eb. Eb cheated on Marcus. I was a white gay married to a bisexual gay that cheated with his old ex gf, we had kids, 4, and I loved them all. I went to a party and made friends except one of them thought I liked him cause I kept accidentally falling into.

Apocalypse I was Bayek of Siwa and then he died and then I was his eagle and it was sad and sweet. Years after apocalypse things are returning to normal in a pair of twins and they’re in love and yeah it was odd and animals evolved and adapted and were dangerous.

We were doing a play in front of the classical and in the basement was a monster witch, she tried to kill us all, even children, we ended up in a castle and the royals had powers too, come to find out she stole her powers from the old king and his magician, and they were the only ones able to get rid of her. I hitch hiked after leaving my brother, fought a bear, then I was at witch school and helping the head master defeat the evil assistant. I gave him head too.

This bitch was fucking with my friends so I destroyed her shit dumb Bitch, and we had a party to go to and she had no clothes

Freaky nightmare ghost

Murders and gore, a haunted house and a rabid buster.

Monsters and werewolves. Rival and me were wolves. In the end I rewrote history to fall in love with him.

Time hopped again, everyone was happy and alive. The best time so far, everyone was alive and I was in love with Anthony(tony).

Saw amazing band, on the ceiling, climbed and crawled around the ceiling and it was amazing. Jen turned a men tried to kill me and the bad mates got really violent, I turned out to be an old girlfriend turned into a man.

Kinda of a vuugle set up but at a restaurant setting but also a daycare. I was magic and he was a vamp and he confessed his love for me.

De-mitri was mad at me, and was my pimp, I lost my virginity. Madelane moved into my house, and Jonah from Andi Mack did too, was in love with Jonah. Stole my dad medicine.

Got shoot at, turned evil and ate my mother, wasn’t my fault, ghost friend made me evil but I got fixed. Joined a team, demitri was there, and healed people of nature, mall setting, couldn’t walk again. Turned out to be a past life. Witches tried to stop me from healing. Had sex with an evil henchmen and I was the top.

Dyed hair but eyebrows got dyed too, Luis cane down and I cleaned myself out for him, gross btw, and then turned into another cute boy who lied to me. So I stole his drugs and money with my mom.

Herman and me, sleep over. Love and stuff and sadness.

Was dating Sharon but he looked like fleury, he died, so I went to a witch, so remade him from clay and his hair took a year of baking and constant streams of my love and own power.

Sea monster, demonic, kidnapped women, criminal minds girls. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Reunion, fleury and me flirted and yeah.

An old entity split into 6 people, and they kept meeting throughout history. They didn’t remember past lives, only one did at a time, and the one who did remember got taken over. Found out that it’s bad side also broke away and was trying to take over the 6 one by one. The only way to stop it was to dispel the negativity they felt.

Boyfriend was demon, loved him. Marcus had a son.

Mona demon, fought him, tried to win.

Boyfriend and Melissa, had sex with him, was too tight for penetration so I fingered him, I had to be the top. I miss him.

Friends stay at cabin, werewolf bites girl. Head werewolf was hot

Witch and powers, haunted house. Huey Dewey and Louie, I was Donald but we were all human ?

Madelane and me were friends again ?

I was getting bullied by a boy from Michigan, but then I fell for him, Jackson, then had to leave, I texted but he didn’t respond, I felt terrible but something happened to his family and he had written me letters, come to find out he was the reason I survived a tragic fall, ended up costing him his football career. We reunited in the end. Also ran into Raymond outside of ronzios. Worked at rack room, but spent a lot of time in game stop which was also a psychiatric place ? And I made friends there, karina especially, but went by rina, and was looking for Skyrim switch but bought Pokémon emerald cards instead.

Was going to classical even tho I graduated and bunked and mr bar found me and I told him off. Then I got an uber in this cool as trolley thing and fell in love with the rider alexgoober?, something Dutch like, and we did it and then he broke up with me but we were looking for each other again.

I was a drug dealer trying to avoid getting arrested. I was looking for Reid, and we found him.

Girl fights off monster bird, after trying to set it free, and then demons. Loses memory, and her amphos weapon. but is saved by mysterious power, fast forward to now she’s living with a new family in the city. Demons exist and the only thing that hurts them is amphos, a plant that contains light. There’s a church that exists dedicated to amphos, a d fighting the demons. There are hunters who have weapons that can’t meld with the amphos, and they’re are nuns that use them too and speak a language to fight the demons off. You can speak the language and you have a necklace that wards off the demons.

Buff boyfriend had sex and I love him. Ticks, cause of rain, one crawled into my thumb.

Demons and It, uncle fester but didn’t want to be called that. I was two brothers and they had a falling out after receiving superpowers cause one received better powers, and it went to his head, and the other felt left out and unimportant and unloved by his brother, and went to demon world and got back together.

I was me, and I was babysitting ravens baby, and Melissa was Chelsea, and Corey was there and victor, but Corey still looked the same, raven had a Disney thing to go to, and when she left an apocalypse type thing happened, sully was there too. I traveled to Spain I guess and was trying to learn more Spanish.

Girl, powers from a alien ai robot, meets other like her, gives some to her best friend.

Boyfriend, first date, cooked for me, lived in veazie, had a cat, six sinks, need him back.

Cameron Boyce moist, went back in time and changed things for the better. Jenny and me. Me and a girl and this gon like boy, loved each other, he could control weather, he got hurt when we were kids, and it was our fault and it changed him and he became possessive as obsessive. We had to kill him but we loved him.

Serial killer brothers, believed they were predators and everyone else was prey. Until they met me, another predator. I got to know and connect with one of the brothers and I knew if things had been different we would’ve been something. We convinced them to have a shoot out, and I won, I shoot him in the throat, but I felt bad, and he seemed so heart broken that I killed him. I held him while he bleed to death in my arms.

Madelane back in life a bit, dating a boy, in love, was Luis at first then it wasn’t m then dating luis gets involved and boy stays instead of leaving for school.

Older robin, killed people, protected best friend Isabel, killed her abusive bf. Then younger robin, flashback to how he became robin and met Isabel at smart school and wanted to date a cute nerd boy.

Are you afraid of the dark/goosebumps. Kids set of nuclear bomb, had powers, before that, main girl (wind/air powers), was dating boy (flame powers), but he was angry, third girl was younger (powers of light and flight). Horror characters like Chucky/slappy tried to kill original victims, plus the new kids. They defeated them and helped past victims. I ended up dating angry boy instead.

Melissa and me in Japan kids, someone has to stay behind in the past She does, her ring breaks like it did before and she finally realizes why, this time our friend stays behind with the ring

Toys could come alive, and wanted freedom to be, but mainly they just wanted to be with loving kids. We fought, and I killed a few. After understanding them, and realizing they just wanted to be loved, I befriended them, and reunited with mine. After everything was said and done, my old friend turned bully, who was trying to help the toys in their rebellion rekindled with me, for some reason he ended up being homeless and moved in with me and family, we fought once more and kissed and lived in love with my toys and each other. My toys lived in the basement floorboards, like the borrowers, and every night and morning I’d knock on them to let them know I still loved them.