#also the fact that this is a anon the quotes sounds so mean I’m sorry ily 😭 HFJSBJDBD | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dreamerstreamer · 4 years

Text

Speak Your Mind

Pairing: GeorgeNotFound / George x f!reader

Summary: Usually, you left George feeling tongue-tied, but apparently not today.

Word Count: 3.8k

A/N: requested by an anon who wanted a cute, clumsy george story! another anon wanted something similar, so i hope you both and all enjoy <3 this was inspired by this quote by lemony snicket :)

George slipped into his chair with a slight groan, nudging his mouse with his elbow as he took a sip of water. He watched as his screen came to life, glancing over at the time. It was still kind of early, and he had a few hours to himself before his scheduled stream.

I could probably just play by myself for a while, he thought to himself, setting his glass down to his left as he opened up Minecraft. He reached across his desk, grabbing his headphones and settling them over his head. It’s been a while since I’ve played in a hardcore survival world.

But then his gaze flickered down to a particular server, and he found his cursor automatically clicking on it, almost like clockwork. In an instant, his avatar was standing on the Prime Path, the blocky world rendering into view around him. Shifting his mouse a few times, George smiled and opened up his inventory.

He spent a few moments sorting everything out, quietly humming to himself. A few seconds later, something popped up on the bottom left of his screen, his gaze darting over to catch it.

[y/n]: hi george!

[y/n]: how are you doing?

George’s heart almost immediately stuttered in his chest, and he spent a moment or two simply staring at the two lines of text.

He couldn’t believe just how much power you had over him.

The two of you had been friends for a long time now—nearly as long as he had been friends with Dream, even. The two of you had met almost entirely by accident, having simply been jokingly trapped together on a random server by one of the admins for a few hours. Under any other circumstances, George probably would have felt awkward to hell and back, but the two of you had just instantly hit it off together.

You were kind and cheerful, while he was practical and goofy. He loved your optimistic innocence, and you lived for his sarcastic quips. While the two of you had never met in person, both of you had most definitely seen each other’s faces before, and George would never forget the first thing he said when he saw your face.

“Woah. You’re really pretty.”

He had blurted it without warning, surprising even himself at his own words. Your face had flushed while you immediately turned off your face cam, letting out a quiet whine. “George, you can’t just say that!”

He remembered sputtering in his chair, then sending an earnest smile at his monitor. “But it’s true!”

“George!”

The image of your cheeks plastered with an embarrassed, sheepish grin and your wide, shining eyes would forever be ingrained in his mind.

Years later, that picture hadn’t changed a bit, still as clear as ever in his head, but the feelings he held for you had transformed. It didn’t happen quickly, nor did he ever want to admit it, but he was incredibly aware of it—almost too aware of it.

You made his cheeks hurt from how much he smiled around him. You filled his stomach with butterflies just with a single giggle. You made his ears turn bright red whenever you made a sly joke.

The three little words sat at the back of his head at nearly every hour of the day, and he just knew that one of these days, he was going to tell you what they were.

Hopefully.

With a smile on his face and a million thoughts swirling around his head, all of them beginning and ending with you, he closed his inventory and began to type back a response.

GeorgeNotFound: i’m doing good haha

[y/n]: i’m happy to hear that! <3

His breath caught in his throat. A heart—you had sent back a heart. He could feel his own heart seize in his chest at the sight of two simple symbols on his monitor screen.

Oh god, he was so screwed.

He walked forward a bit, his head still spinning with thoughts of you and that stupid heart as he contemplated what he should do next. An idea popped up just then, a small wave of anxiety creating over his head. With shaky hands, he began to type.

GeorgeNotFound: wanna join vc 2?

A moment ticked by, and George chewed on the side of his cheek. Then, your username appeared in the corner of his screen.

[y/n]: okay! i’ll be there in a sec :)

A smiley face. His own lips curled upwards to match the smile emoticon as he entered the voice channel, patiently waiting. A few moments later, something caught his attention from the corner of his monitor. Turning, he flinched as your avatar jumped down and landed in front of him, briefly turning red from the fall damage. A split second later, he heard a familiar ping.

“Boo!” you chirped, your voice echoing in his ear as bright as day. He felt warmth blossom in his chest just at the sound of a single syllable spoken in your voice.

“What a grand entrance,” he said teasingly, unable to hide the fact that he was grinning while he spoke.

“You know me,” you said, giggling, “I always have to make a big show of things.”

“I sure do,” he said, secretly thinking to himself.

But I wish I knew you better.

“Woah,” you suddenly breathed, something like awe seeping in your voice as your character stepped forward. “I feel like we haven’t talked in, like... forever.”

He blinked, shifting his mouse slightly toward you. “We talked yesterday.”

“No,” you said quickly, your pitch raising, “I mean like, talk talked. You know, over call or something?” Your voice grew quiet. “I missed hearing your voice.”

George wanted to throw a pillow across his room. Cute. “Well, I’m here now,” he said softly, chuckling, “so you get to hear it all you want.”

He heard you cough, but it was slightly muffled. He wondered what you looked like right now, and he half-wished that you two had your face-cams on. “Now that you’re on the sever,” you prompted a second later, suddenly sounding normal again. “what do you wanna do?”

He thought for a moment, the wheels in his head turning. “Well, I kind of wanted to work a bit more on my house.”

“Oh, you mean your new house? The one you were building during the, uh—” You paused, searching for the right words. “—big battle?”

He could imagine you making fake air quotes with your fingers, and he laughed, thinking of your scrunched up face. “Pfft, yeah. That’s the one.”

“I haven’t seen it yet,” you admitted, some rustling coming through his headphones. “Do... do you mind showing me it?”

He smiled sheepishly. “No, not at all. But I’m not a very good builder, I hope you know.”

You let out a brief shout, and he jumped in his chair. “Nope! Illegal!”

His eyebrows knit together. “‘Illegal’?” he parroted.

“Illegal,” you said in an affirmative tone. “It’s illegal to be mean to GeorgeNotFound. Even by GeorgeNotFound himself. Sorry I don’t make the rules.” Before he could even think of a response, your character began jumping up and down on his screen. “Now, show me the goods! I’m sure it looks great.”

He was pretty sure he was just a puddle in his chair, now. You were just far too much for his poor heart. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could take of this before he lost his mind.

Shaking his head free of thoughts of you, he pressed the W key and watched as he moved forward down the Prime Path and over a hill. “Here, follow me. It’s a bit far from the rest of the server’s homes, but I kind of like it.”

You hummed, thoughtful and soft as the two of you jumped your way over a few hills. “I get you. I mean, we all need our space. I think having your home being more far away is just cozy. Quaint. Probably not going to get robbed by Tommy. It’s a win-win situation!”

He snorted at your words. Probably not going to get robbed by Tommy was a positive he would never pass up. “I’m glad it’s not just me who thinks that.”

It was then that a splash of red among a horizon full of browns and greens came into view. You let out a soft gasp as his hobbit-hole house came into view. “Sooo,” he began, clicking his mouse, “ta-da! Here it is! I know it’s not much, but it’s pretty okay, I think?”

A cry of awe flew from your lips. “Are you kidding me? Your house is so pretty!” You ran forward, your eyes wide as you gazed at the hobbit-style home. “It’s so round and cozy and—oh, the mushrooms!” Your avatar jumped up and down, punching at the air towards his house. “You even added a little moat with a bridge!”

A certain sincerity flooded your voice as you added, “George, don’t lie to me and tell me you suck at building. I love your house.”

He felt his heart melt at your eager tone. Just how endearing could one person be?

“Can we go inside, can we go inside?” you asked, your voice growing bolder as you turned to look at him expectantly.

A bashful smile shot across his face, even though he knew you couldn’t see him. “I—ah, I haven’t actually built the inside yet,” he admitted shyly.

You let out a soft squeal, your avatar running around the screen with a hop. “If you want, we can build it together!” you offered. “I know you’re not super confident in your building skills, but I’m more than happy to help out!”

His heart melted. You were so kind. Too kind, really. How could he say no?

“I would love that,” he said. He moved inside the house, revealing the hollowed out, blank space that would serve as the interior of his house. “So, as you can see, it’s still a work in progress.” He glanced back at you. “Where should we start?

There was a slight pause. “Hmmm.” He could imagine the way you scrunched your nose as you thought, your fingers tapping against the nearest flat surface as you did so. “We could make most of the inside out of birch planks,” you began, “and have some dark oak details. You know, so there’s some really neat contrast between the light and dark parts of your house.”

He could hear you growing giddier and giddier with each passing second. “And we can also add some red and white carpet to match the mushroom aesthetic! Oh, that would look so good! “Your character turned to look at him, a block of birch wood already in hand. “What do you think?”

His heart beat a little faster. I like you, he thought, clear as a bell. I really, really like you, that’s what I think.

“You what?”

He froze.

Oh my god. Did I just say that out loud?

Your voice filled his ears, quiet and shaky. “Um. Yeah.”

A second passed in awkward silence. Then another.

If a Minecraft skin could blush, George’s face would be a tomato.

“I, um,” he stammered, his eyes darting every which way in search of an excuse to leave the call. Just then, his gaze caught on the glass of water he had set to his left. He barely gave himself even a second to think about what to say before he started rambling, speaking in a single, blurted breath.

“I just um spilled water all over myself and wow it’s about to get all over my set-up and that would be really bad so I’m just uh gonna go now okay great bye—”

Before he could embarrass himself anymore, he found himself pressing the ‘end call’ button and closing the window, hanging his head in his hands as he let out a long groan of despair.

Why did he do that? How did he do that?

Groaning again, he slammed his head into his desk, turning to press his cheek into the wood as he stared at his keyboard.

He was an idiot—a big, fat idiot.

In the corner of his eye, he watched as his phone screen lit up. It‘s probably a message from [Y/N], his brain helpfully supplied. She’s probably confused as hell.

“Not helping,” he muttered to himself, sitting up once more.

Well, there was really only one thing he could do now, and that was to get help. Fortunately for him, he knew two people he could definitely ask for advice. Unfortunately, he had a feeling he knew how this conversation was going to go.

Sighing, he opened up Discord again on his monitor.

He was sure things could only go downhill from here.

“You what?!”

George grimaced. He was right. This was a terrible idea. “You don’t have to rub it in my face,” he grumbled.

“I’m—” Wheeze. “I’m not rubbing it in,” Dream explained between gasps for air, “it’s... it’s just that it’s funny.”

George pursed his lips. “I don’t know about you, but that sounds like you’re rubbing it in.”

Sapnap’s voice cut through Dream’s laughter. “Okay, okay, Dream, you’re not helping. Gogy here is having, as Tommy would put it, ‘women problems’, and he needs some help.”

All of a sudden, Dream’s laughter stopped. “If I’m being totally honest,” he said, “I’m not really seeing the problem here.”

There was a beat of silence. “How are you not seeing the problem?” Sapnap said. You could hear the frown in his voice. “George just prematurely confessed his feelings to [Y/N].”

“Yeah, and?”

Another beat of silence.

“What the heck do you mean, ‘and’? That’s the problem!”

George sighed, sinking down in his desk chair. “Dream,” he muttered into his headset, rubbing at his temples, “just spit it out.”

“Look,” he began, “I’m just saying that here’s no advice we could possibly give you, because there’s only one solution.”

“Which is?” Sapnap prompted.

“You just have to tell her outright how you feel.”

George’s jaw dropped and he scrambled to sit up. “No way I’m doing that. Nuh-uh, no thanks.”

Sapnap made a noise of approval. “No, wait—Dream does have a point.”

George felt a stone of uneasiness drop into his stomach. “You’re just saying that because you want to see me make a fool of myself.”

“No, no, nonono, I’m telling the truth!” Dream cried. “Seriously, what other options do you really have? Pretend that you never said anything and just act like nothing happened to confuse her and hope that she forgets?”

“Pretty sure that’s called gaslighting,” Sapnap mumbled.

George glared at his monitor, knowing full well no one could see him. “Not helping.”

“Ignore her for the rest of eternity?” Dream continued. “You’ve already declined six of her calls!” There was a pause, then he carried on. “George, seriously. I want the best for you, and I’m not kidding when I say this is the only viable option, really.”

He stared down at his lap, his hands shaking where they lay. “What if,” he began, “she doesn’t feel the same?”

“Well, tough luck then, Gogy,” Sapnap said bluntly, “You’re just gonna have to suck it up and move on like the rest of us.”

George pressed his lips into a thin line. While it wasn’t exactly the nicest way to put it, he supposed Sapnap was right. “What if...” He swallowed. “What if I’m not ready?”

A soft sigh came from the other end. “George,” Dream said, his voice sincere, “believe it or not, but no one’s ever ready, really. But if we all waited until we were ready, then we’d be waiting for the rest of our lives.”

George fell quiet. A strange sense of comfort fell over him as he let Dream’s words soak in. Mustering up a deep breath, he smiled.

“Okay. I’ll call her back tonight, alright?”

Sapnap let out a hoot, the sound of clapping filling his headphones. “Let’s go! Get ‘em, Gogy!”

“You really need to stop calling me that.”

“Nah. It’s funny.”

Before George could retort, Dream stepped in. “Remember buddy, no matter what happens, we’ll be here for you, okay? Don’t let your fear hold you back. Hell, you know what? Don’t let your—” Dream suddenly cackled, his voice wheezing into his mic as he sputtered, “Don’t let your dreams be dreams, George!”

George let out a groan, barely able to hear himself over the deafening sound of Dream’s wheezing. “Oh my god, I’m hanging up.”

“Good luck, Gog—”

It was at that moment that he clicked the ‘end call’ button, the sweet sound of silence washing over him. Leaning back in his chair, he stared up at the ceiling, the tiniest of smiles gracing his lips.

Maybe calling his friends wasn’t such a bad idea, after all.

George stared at his monitor, the dark screen reflecting a mirrored image of himself. His hand opened and closed on his lap, itching to hold onto the mouse.

It had been two days since he’d blurted the words he’d been procrastinating saying for the last god knows how long.

Every time he closed his eyes, he could only see fluttering shots of you. You, with your mouth agape, staring at your screen with your headphones sliding down your neck. You, frantically texting on your phone about everything that had just slipped out of his mouth. You, with your face inevitably twisting in disgust at the thought of someone like him liking someone like you.

I’m not ready, he thought, his reflection blinking back at him.

That’s exactly why you’re going to do this, his reflection said back as his hand moved to his mouse, hovering over it.

You suck, he thought.

The monitor smiled back at him as he moved his cursor. I know.

His screen burst to life, Discord already open and waiting for him. George moved his cursor to hover over your username, his palm starting to sweat. Clicking, he reached over to his keyboard and began to type.

GeorgeNotFound: hey! did you wanna video call?

The moment he hit enter, he ripped his hands away from the keyboard like it was made of hot coals, wiping his hands on his pants. With bated breath, he waited, staring at the green circle accompanying your profile picture. Suddenly, his screen moved.

[y/n] is typing...

His heart leapt into his throat.

[y/n]: okay!

He exhaled a sigh of relief through his nose, his mouse moving to press the hit ‘video call’ button. A few seconds passed with the ringtone echoing through his headphones. A moment later, the ringing stopped and your face filled his screen, the familiar set-up of your room fading in at the corners. His heart swelled at the sight—both with affection and anxiety.

“Um, hi!” you said with a shy smile, your gaze darting away from the screen as you waved at the camera. Despite your bright demeanour and cheery tone, he could practically feel the tension in your shoulders the moment he laid eyes on you.

“H-Hi,” he said back, swallowing as he mustered up a shaky smile. Your gaze flickered to his for a brief second, and in that moment, it almost felt like you two were actually looking at each other in real life. Then you looked away again and something in his chest cracked.

“How are you doing?” he asked slowly, trying to prompt a conversation. “It feels like we haven’t talked in forever.”

Your lips quirked as you tilted your head at him. “We talked, um, two days ago.”

He ignored the embarrassment flaring up on his cheeks. “I mean like, see-each-other-talk talked.” He paused, then adding in a near-whisper. “I missed seeing your face.”

Your rosy lips parted in awe, and he was almost certain that he was never, ever going to forget that expression of yours.

“And, um, h-how—how are you, George?” you stammered out with a shaky voice, curling up a little in your chair. “Are you doing okay?”

George opened his mouth, then shut it. Whenever people asked him if he was okay, his mouth always defaulted to “fine” or “good” or “okay”. Rarely did he ever find himself telling the truth. But now, as he looked at your shy, bashful face, he knew what he had to do. Straightening up, he looked his webcam dead in the eyes.

“I,” he said, “am really, really nervous right now. Like, nervous out of my mind.”

You blinked, finally turning to face him directly at last. “Really?”

He nodded, his anxiety slowly falling away. “Yeah. Do you know why?”

Recognition flickered through your eyes, and your cheeks grew hot once more. “Why, George?”

He took a deep breath, steeling himself, and smiled.

It’s now or never.

“I like you, [Y/N]. A lot. What I said earlier was true. It wasn’t some bit, and it wasn’t just some spur of the moment thing. I really do like you a lot, and I would like it if you would be my g—”

He almost choked on his own words, oh-so very aware of just how hot his face was. “And I,” he began again, squeezing his eyes shut, “would love it if you would be my girlfriend.”

He couldn’t look—he couldn’t. He missed seeing your face, he really did, but he knew that if he looked now, he would only be met with disappointment. You, with a frown on your face, only deepening with each passing second. You, with guilt in your eyes for not reciprocating his feelings. You, with your soft lips mouthing four words he wish he didn’t have to hear.

I’m so sorry, George. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so—

“I like you, too.”

His eyes flew open, his mouth agape.

Those were not the four words he was expecting to hear.

He lifted his head, his gaze taking in every inch of his screen. A bright, glowing smile was plastered across your face, your eyes crinkling at the corners.

“For real?” he breathed, disbelief wracking every inch of his being.

You nodded, a laugh tumbling from your lips and lighting up his insides. “Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes.”

George felt a smile of his own creep across his face as he ran a hand through his hand, something happier than joy rushing through his veins.

Oh god, he thought, wanting to scream it from the top of the nearest building. I like you, I like you, I like you. I like you a lot lot.

“I like you a lot lot, too.”

He froze. Did I say that out loud, again?

Your grin widened. “Yes.”

For a second, he almost shriveled up in shame. But then he shook his head and laughed, basking in the warmth of your smile.

A few days ago, he might have been embarrassed. But now?

Well, if it was with you, he supposed he wouldn’t mind speaking his mind more often.

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fantastic-bby · 3 years

Text

Pairing: Reader x Changkyun

Word count: 1.4k

Genre: Mild angst | Fluff-ish end

Summary: Changkyun's absence at home as well as his bluntness may just be your limit

Warnings: Mentions of being controlling

Prompts:

#12. "Don't touch me. Your skin is poisonous"

#11. "All my soul yearns for is your presence."

A/n: I was actually thinking about starting to write for Monsta X, so thank you anon for helping me decide! ^-^

Masterlist

[02:56]

Maybe he should’ve thought it through. The fight was stupid and it has also been a few hours since Changkyun’s last seen you. He’s a blunt person, everyone knows that. He knows that. As much as he tries to at least be more careful of what he’s saying, he also knows that you usually take his comments with a grain of salt because Changkyun only says those kinds of things whenever he feels like he needs to. Thus, leading to your fight, a.k.a what led you into storming out of your shared home, leaving him to stare at the front door on his own.

“I get that you’re a blunt person, but god, can’t you at least be a bit nicer about it?!” you yelled.

“You know I’m like this, why is it pissing you off this bad?! I just said that you needed to calm down,” he groaned. Your eyes narrowed into slits as you crossed your arms over your chest. “It’s not even that serious, (Y/n). It’s not like I’m working myself to death.”

“That’s exactly it!” you argued with your arms flailing around the place. “You’re overworking yourself, Changkyun! You come home at three a.m., sleep for barely three hours before you’re heading back out for work! I know that the comeback is approaching, but I also know that your schedule is supposed to be free for the next few weeks to give you guys time to rest before you need to start practicing again!” In truth, you hadn’t seen Changkyun properly in quite a while. He had been so busy that you’d go to sleep and wake up without him there only for him to return barely in time for dinner on some days.

“You make it sound like I’m not resting at all,” Changkyun shook his head stubbornly. If your looks could kill, he’s pretty sure that he wouldn’t have seen the next day from how hard you were glaring at him. “Don’t look at me like that. You can’t expect me to not think that you’re being this controlling. It’s ridiculous.” That was it. His eyes squeezed shut at the realisation and he let out a sigh. He pushed a button that he knew he wasn’t supposed to and when he opened his eyes to look at you, your glare had impossibly hardened. “(Y/n), you know I didn’t mean that.”

“Oh yeah?” you breathed out a laugh. “Do I really, Changkyun? Then what was the point of it? You don’t say shit you don’t mean,” you spit as you turn on your heel and grab your purse off of the counter.

“Where are you going?” Changkyun’s eyebrows furrowed when he saw you storming towards the front door.

“Out,” you stated. “Wouldn’t want to be so controlling around you, now would I?”

“No, wait.” He quickly made his way over to you and grabbed onto your wrist to stop you from opening the door but you whipped around and raised your finger right in front of his face.

“Don’t touch me,” you snapped. “Your skin is poisonous. You think I’m being ridiculous and controlling for wanting you to take a break, then so be it.” You turned on your heel and left the house with a slam. In truth, Changkyun had never seen you so angry before; which only made it more difficult for him to think about how he would even apologise since he didn’t know if you would even accept his apology. He tried calling you, but you weren’t picking up nor were you answering his texts.

“Fuck,” he sighed as he stared at the delivered messages in his phone. Changkyun couldn’t sleep that night. He needed to get you to talk to him, but if you weren’t even going to answer him, how was he supposed to tell you that he was basically talking out of his ass? Wait, no, that would only make you even more upset.

Naturally, Changkyun would figure out your fights on his own, but he felt so lost that he felt like he needed an adult to tell him what to do. What if he had just chased you away forever? What if this was the tiebreaker for you and you decided that he was too much? Changkyun stayed in your shared home for a few more hours before deciding he needed more help, which led him to Jooheon’s apartment.

“You’re a dumbass,” the older man stated as he smacked the upside of Changkyun’s head. “Why would you say that?!”

“I don’t know! It slipped out!” Changkyun exclaimed while rubbing his now aching head.

“The fact that it ‘slipped out’,” he quoted with his fingers, “means that you were already thinking about it. You’re not the kind of person who would just say things they don’t mean.” Jooheon was already slightly upset from having been rudely awoken by Changkyun’s call, it’s no wonder that he was even more frustrated that the younger male just wouldn’t understand that his bluntness was sometimes just too... blunt. “You only say things when they’re important or whenever you feel like your opinion is important. If you go ahead and tell (Y/n) that you think them worrying about you is ridiculous, of course they’ll think you actually think they’re controlling!”

Changkyun stood in Jooheon with his lips pursed. “How am I supposed to get them to call me back?” He turned up to look at Jooheon who squinted his eyes.

“You’re the one who’s dated them for the past four years, think of something that they’d appreciate.” When Changkyun looked away, Jooheon sighed, “I’m sorry, Changkyun, but you can’t expect me to know how to fix your relationships. Just do something that they’ll think is sweet or something that’ll actually show them how much you care about them.” The younger man kept his gaze on the carpeted floor before he shut his eyes.

“You know I don’t do those kinds of gestures,” he sighed.

“It doesn’t have to be a giant romantic gesture,” he countered while rolling his eyes. “It can just be something small that makes them know that you’re sorry.” The doorbell rang and it tears the two out of the conversation. “Just think about it, okay?” Jooheon doesn’t even bother to wonder who would be ringing his doorbell at three a.m. and swung the door open. He almost choked on air when he saw you standing there with bloodshot eyes, arms wrapped around yourself.

“I didn’t wake you, did I?” You had a guilty look on your face because you couldn’t help but feel guilty for disturbing Jooheon at such a late hour.

“No, you actually didn’t,” he said while moving aside. You looked straight ahead and froze when you saw Changkyun’s back facing you. He turned around at the sound of your voice and just as you were about to turn around, he raced over to grab onto your wrist.

“(Y/n), please, just give me a moment,” he pleaded. You kept your head turned away, but your heart was begging you to stay. When you showed no signs of trying to run, Changkyun took a step closer to you. “I’m sorry. I’m genuinely so sorry.” He took another step closer before he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into him as you felt your eyes stinging with tears once again.

“I-I just wanted to say that I missed you,” you admitted softly. “I wanted to tell you that all my soul yearned for was your presence, but you were so busy.”

“I’m sorry, baby.” Changkyun’s heart felt heavy in his chest as he held you. How could he have missed the fact that him busying himself with work meant that you would wake up, go to work, come back, and go to sleep all alone? “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said that to you. I promise that you’re not controlling at all—I was just riled up and it slipped out. I didn’t mean it. I promise.” Your grip around him tightened. Changkyun pulled away from you to look you in the eye, his hands cupping your face gently, “how about we just spend the whole of tomorrow together? I don’t have anything going on, so we can watch a movie or have a picnic somewhere. How does that sound?” he asked with a soft glint in his eyes as he let his thumb graze over your cheekbone gently. “Sounds good?” When you nodded, Changkyun smiled. “Let’s head home.”

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aboveallarescuer · 3 years

Note

#that happens even when the person isnt trying to argue that shes a mad queen/villain but that she has both 'good' and 'evil' in her#and is meant to fail#(e.g. that meta about how dany is a tragic shakespearean hero; which annoys me more bc it sounds convincing when you don't remember what#happened in the books very well...

Can you talk more about your problems with that essay? I thought that it sounded plausible... I don't want those things to happen to Daenerys, but I don't trust GRRM either.

Anon, thank you for this ask and sorry for the delayed answer. I was already planning to write several posts as a response to the arguments of “Daughter of Death: A Song of Ice and Fire’s Shakespearean Tragic Hero” (which you can read here), but I couldn't find the time or motivation for that lately, so thanks for giving me the opportunity to counter-argue it in a single answer. I tried to be brief by summarizing some of my notes and by linking to a lot of metas instead of repeating all of their points, but the response unfortunately ended up becoming long anyway.

In the context of that essay, Dany is considered a Shakespearean tragic hero because the writer thinks she fits five requirements: 1) Dany’s chapters contain supposedly deliberate references to Shakespearean plays; 2) Dany is “torn by an internal struggle”, namely peace versus violence or companionship versus rulership or home versus the Iron Throne, all of which also drive the external conflicts. Choosing the second options will lead to her demise; 3) prophecies and “influential accidents” - that is, events that “have roots in a character’s motivation”, as well as “the sense of ‘if only this had not happened’” - will “heighten and exaggerate [tragic flaws that] already [exist]” in Dany; 4) Dany will (according to the essayist’s speculations) take actions that produce “exceptional calamity” and her demise will be “her own choice and doing”; 5) Dany “[rose] high in position” and is “an exceptional being”, which sets her apart as a character that fits the mold of the Shakespearean tragedy because her reversal of fortune will highlight “the greatness and piteousness of humanity”.

I would argue that the points that the essayist made to justify how Dany supposedly fits these five requirements are all very skewed.

1) When it comes to requirement 1 (Dany’s chapters contain supposedly deliberate references to Shakespearean plays), the essayist is conveniently cherry-picking (as they often do throughout the meta). Bran Stark wants a dreamless sleep just like Dany: “Sweet, dreamless sleep, Bran thought.” (ACOK Bran I); “That night Bran prayed to his father’s gods for dreamless sleep.” (ACOK Bran II). Indeed, @marinabridgerton argues that that’s most likely tied to the fact that they’re the two characters most heavily associated with prophecies. Even Sansa is said to have a dreamless sleep: “Sometimes her sleep was leaden and dreamless, and she woke from it more tired than when she had closed her eyes” (AGOT Sansa VI). And yet, where are the essays about how these quotes are teaching the readership to interpret Bran’s and Sansa’s characters, storylines and trajectories based on Shakespearean tragedies?

2) When it comes to requirement 2 (Dany is “torn by an internal struggle”, namely peace versus violence or companionship versus rulership or home versus the Iron Throne, all of which also drive the external conflicts. Choosing the second options will lead to her demise), the essayist is right to point out that those dilemmas exist. However, they portray Dany’s struggles in a way that makes it seem that 1) there are “good” options (peace/companionship/home) and “bad” options (violence/rulership/Iron Throne) for Dany to take and that 2) choosing the latter ones will lead to Dany’s downfall. There is a lot to question about these assumptions.

2.1) When it comes to Dany’s conflict between peace versus violence, the essayist takes everything that Adam Feldman’s series of essays “Untangling the Meereenese Knot” says for granted when it shouldn’t be. I’m not going to delve into all the problems/inaccuracies/double standards with those essays. For our purposes here, it’s enough to say that they: 1) dichotomize Dany’s identity into mhysa and mother of dragons to argue that the former represents her desire for peace and the latter her violent impulses; 2) assert that the peace was real; 3) conclude that, by rejecting the peace, the Dany of ASOS is gone and from now on she’s going to be a very different person because she will have chosen to follow her violent impulses.

As already argued before, though, 1) Dany’s character can’t be dichotomized in that way because these facets - mhysa and mother of dragons - actually complement each other (as @yendany made clear in her most recent meta). Because Dany was the mother of dragons, she was able to act as mhysa way before she was hailed as such, which we see, for instance, when she kills the Astapori slave masters to free the Unsullied. Both of these identities manifest Dany’s fierceness when faced with great injustices. This is why, in ADWD, locking her dragon children prevented Dany from properly defending her human children… She needs to integrate both parts of her identity to be able to protect them. But Feldman couldn’t recognize that because 2) he accepts the peace deal that Dany made with the slavers as valid. Doing so would mean, however, ignoring the re-enslavement and suffering of thousands of marginalized people, which GRRM continually emphasizes in Dany's and Tyrion’s final ADWD chapters (read more about this here and here) to hammer home that the peace is false for prioritizing the slavers over them. Finally, 3) Dany is not a violent person nor does she have violent impulses. Feldman decontextualized the moments in which Dany uses violence from the standards of her time and place (read more about this here and here and here and here) to portray them in a more negative light than how they are actually meant to be viewed. Additionally, he conveniently left out all the moments in which Dany chooses to be merciful, from when she spares Yunkai and most of the Meereenese slavers (she didn’t do the same in Astapor because she was outnumbered and needed to protect her retinue) to when she doesn’t punish people who threaten or disrespect her to her face (such an envoy who spits at her face, a boy who tries to attack her, Xaro after he says he wishes he’d killed her), to give a few examples (read more about this in @rainhadaenerys's comprehensive meta). I would argue that Dany’s conflict is less about peace versus violence and more accurately about her tendency to be merciful versus her desire for justice (which, especially in the particular context she finds herself in, is unattainable without violence). In fact, I would go further and say that it’s distasteful to characterize Dany as someone “violent” or with “violent impulses” when, so far, she’s only used violence to a) defend and protect victims of (physical and systemic) violence and/or b) in circumstances in which her actions are no more problematic than those of any other leader of her world. And yet, the essayist portrays them as if they were (“To choose indiscriminate destruction over peace tends toward the evil”).

It’s also convenient that the essayist only talks about fire negatively (“Dany wields unmatched power that can “make or unmake at a word”—Dracarys—villages, armies and kingdoms”, “in the words of Maester Aemon, “Fire consumes.””) when it's also connected to life, rebirth, healing and enlightenment. And dracarys in particular is explicitly associated with freedom by the narrative while Dany frees the Unsullied (her decision, in turn, is associated with her future actions in the War for the Dawn). But acknowledging these things would make it harder to portray Dany as a Shakespearean tragic hero.

2.2) When it comes to Dany’s conflict between companionship and rulership … Again, the dilemma exists, but not in the way that the essayist presents it. What I mean is that they go out of their way to make it seem that Dany’s loneliness was the main factor driving her decisions, such as the liberation of the Unsullied (“She feels for the forced loneliness of the Unsullied, and it is loneliness that convinces her to commit violence in the plaza to free the slaves—just as it is in loneliness she chooses violence amidst the Dothraki Sea.”)... And not, y’know, her compassion and sense of justice (“Why do the gods make kings and queens, if not to protect the ones who can’t protect themselves?”), which are rarely acknowledged in this essay even though it’s arguably the main aspect of Dany's characterization. Why does the essayist do that? Because, since they are arguing that Dany is a tragic hero, they need to present Dany’s loneliness both as the reason why she achieved greatness and as the reason that will lead to her demise when she (supposedly) starts distrusting people, closing herself off and choosing violence (“the moral conviction she feels for her abolitionist crusade is part of the greatness that is also her tragic trait [...] She feels for the forced loneliness of the Unsullied, and it is loneliness that convinces her to commit violence in the plaza to free the slaves—just as it is in loneliness she chooses violence amidst the Dothraki Sea.”). As I said, however, doing so requires downplaying Dany’s compassion, as well as ignoring the fact that she does not close herself off to people in ADWD, nor is there any sign that this was seeded as a serious issue for her in future books (especially considering that her governance is meant to be contrasted with Cersei, the character who actually does close herself off to people. But more on that below when I talk about why Dany doesn’t fit the essayist’s third requirement).

Also, singling out rulership in particular as a reason for Dany to feel alone is conveniently selective (“Returning to Westeros means ruling Westeros - and ruling means loneliness”). All the major characters have reasons to feel lonely and isolated in their society because GRRM chose to focus on the underdogs. Their social standings are already enough to make all of them feel alone. As he said, “Tyrion of course is a dwarf which has its own challenges. Dany is an exile, powerless, penniless, at the mercy of other people, and Jon is a bastard”. You can also throw in Arya for being a young girl struggling to adhere to gender norms and Bran for being a disabled child. And that is just one example… There are a myriad of reasons and situations for various characters to feel lonely and isolated, but the essayist specifically chose to talk about how rulership causes that for Dany. And, considering that the essayist thinks that Dany’s rulership -> growing isolation and loneliness -> her ultimate downfall, it really feels like they’re punishing Dany narratively for acquiring and wielding power. Which leads me to the next point...

2.3) When it comes to Dany’s conflict between home and the Iron Throne, I would argue that that’s not really a conflict. Dany (like any feudal leader) believes she needs to retake the Iron Throne to stay in her homeland just like the Starks believe they need to retake Winterfell to stay in their homeland. Whether Dany finds herself at home in Westeros or not is irrelevant to that fact. And yet, the essayist only presents the former as being in the wrong for fighting for her birthright. However, as it's been already explained before, the Starks’ claim to the North isn’t morally righteous. They only have dominance over the North because, for thousands of years, their ancestors fought against, drove away and killed most of its indigenous population (the Children of the Forest), as well as multiple families who were also vying for control over the region. With that in mind, Dany fighting for her birthright isn’t any more problematic than the Starks enjoying the lands and privileges obtained with conquest and bloodshed, as well as the labor of peasants. One could argue that GRRM may have a double standard against Dany in this case (though it's been argued before that he doesn't intend to present the Iron Throne as a source of greed and evil like how fandom presents it) because of the order of the events and depending on whether he holds Dany accountable for more problems for waging her war than the Starks for having done/doing essentially the same thing, but that’s not what the essayist is doing. Instead, they a) take for granted that Dany is doing the wrong thing for fighting for the Iron Throne ("To delay the call of the North and continue to divide an already weakened realm is to give into dark desires.") and b) center all their speculations about her eventual demise based on that belief.

Ultimately, I would argue that none of these three dilemmas - peace versus violence, companionship versus rulership, home versus the Iron Throne - come with easy answers. When it comes to the first conflict, it’s important that Dany prioritizes the lives of the slaves over the privileges of the masters, but that causes more war and bloodshed. When it comes to the second and the third conflicts, it’s worth noting that the first options (which the essayist presents as the “good” ones) are actually the selfish paths for Dany to take. After all, she would rather live a normal life with a husband (companionship) in the house with the red door (home) - “She would rather have drifted in the fragrant pool all day, eating iced fruit off silver trays and dreaming of a house with a red door, but a queen belongs to her people, not to herself”. But, as the quote shows, instead of choosing these selfish goals, Dany accepts the burden of rulership and the fight for the Iron Throne because of her duty towards her people and ancestors. And, while this path leads to war (either in Meereen or in Westeros, though the former is morally righteous and the latter, while not inherently justified, is not any more problematic than Robb fighting for Northern independence), power is also the means through which Dany can make changes that benefit the common people.

With all that said, it’s ironic that Dany fans are often accused of flattening her character or her choices when it’s actually her detractors or “neutrals” (like the essayist) who do so - they are dead set on portraying Dany’s available options as either “good” or “bad” and on speculating that choosing the latter ones will lead to her downfall, but the text actually gives her conflicts in which all the options have their pros and cons.

The essayist also makes a mistake that isn’t really up to interpretation or difference in opinions. They say that, in AGOT Daenerys III, “after admitting this difficult truth [that Viserys will never take back the Seven Kingdoms], Dany assumes the goal for herself (and at the time, her son)”. That is incorrect. In AGOT Daenerys V, moments before Viserys’s death, Dany says she would have allowed him to have the dragon eggs because “he is my brother … and my true king”. Jorah doesn’t think she should still acknowledge him as such, but she tells him that “he is all I have”. So no, Dany hadn’t assumed the goal for herself at that point, she only took over his campaign in her son's name (not hers) after Viserys's death. But the essayist needs to exaggerate Dany's ambition to justify her demise, since they speculate that “in that hurt and betrayal, all that will be left - she will think - is the crown”.

3) When it comes to requirement 3 (prophecies and “influential accidents” - that is, events that “have roots in a character’s motivation”, as well as “the sense of ‘if only this had not happened’” - will “heighten and exaggerate [tragic flaws that] already [exist]” in Dany), the problem is not in cherry-picking or in double standards against Dany, but rather in the essayist’s lack of knowledge about Dany’s characterization. It’s simply not true that Dany’s distrust of people grows to the point that she closes herself off to them. Instead, I would argue that Dany is actually portrayed as someone with a healthy distrust of people. We know from the books (1, 2, 3, 4) that she finds it unlikely that Barristan, Grey Worm or Missandei would ever betray her, but that she doesn’t think she can rely entirely upon Reznak, the Green Grace, the Shavepate, Hizdahr and Daario. Do Dany’s doubts about these people’s intentions lead her to, as the essayist says, “push people away”? No. Through almost all of ADWD, she (wrongly, though understandably) believes that "until [freedmen and former masters stand together, Meereen will know no peace". Accordingly, Dany is willing to listen to the counsel of all of her advisors (both the ones she trusts and the ones she distrusts) to ensure that she makes informed decisions. To give some examples:

Dany allows “well spoken and gently born” people (i.e., not the typical condition of most former slaves, who are glad that Dany freed them) to sell themselves into slavery and imposes a tax each time men chose to do so like how it happened in Astapor (ASOS Daenerys VI). By making this decision, she agreed with both Missandei and Daario.

Dany employs the Unsullied to ask the Blue Graces if someone showed up with a sword wound and to ask butchers and herdsmen who’s been gelding goats (ADWD Daenerys I). By making this decision, she disagreed with Barristan.

Dany chooses not to punish any noble in response to the murder of Stalwart Shield and only increases the amount of gold for whoever gives information about the Sons of the Harpy (ADWD Daenerys I). By making this decision, she agreed with Reznak and disagreed with the Shavepate.

Dany gives up on banning the tokar and wears it herself (ADWD Daenerys I). By making this decision, she agreed with the Green Grace.

Dany (rightly) refuses to reopen the fighting pits for a while until she later relents in the name of the peace with the Meereenese nobles (ADWD Daenerys I, II, III, VI). By making this decision, she disagreed with Hizdahr, Reznak, the Green Grace and the Shavepate and agreed with Missandei.

Dany delays the choice of a husband until it becomes necessary later (ADWD Daenerys I). By making this decision, she disagreed with Reznak, the Shavepate and the Green Grace.

Dany chooses to pay the shepherds for the animals that they say their dragons ate (ADWD Daenerys I). By making this decision, she disagreed with Reznak.

Dany pays Hazzea’s father the blood price (i.e., one hundred times the worth of a lamb) for her death, lays her bones to rest in the Temple of the Graces and promises to pay for his children each year so they shall not want (ADWD Daenerys II). By making this decision, she disagreed with the Shavepate.

Dany allows the Shavepate to torture the wineseller and his daughters for information about the Sons (ADWD Daenerys II). By making this decision, she agreed with the Shavepate.

Dany imposes a blood tax on the noble families to pay for a new watch led by the Shavepate, takes the gold and the stores of food of any nobleman who wishes to leave the city and keeps two children from each pyramid as hostages instead of letting the nobles go unpunished after nine freedmen were killed by the Sons (ADWD Daenerys II). By making this decision, she agreed with the Shavepate and disagreed with Reznak.

Dany has Barristan and Groleo and his captains and sailors to inspect Xaro’s ships (ADWD Daenerys III). By making this decision, she agreed with Barristan.

Dany chooses not to go to Westeros despite being offered ships to do so (ADWD Daenerys III). By making this decision, she disagreed with Barristan.

Dany doesn’t kill her child hostages despite the Sons’ ongoing attacks (ADWD Daenerys IV). By making this decision, she agreed with the Green Grace and disagreed with the Shavepate.

Dany agrees to marry Hizdahr if he’s able to give her ninety days of peace in Meereen (ADWD Daenerys IV). By making this decision, she agreed with Hizdahr, the Green Grace and Reznak and disagreed with the Shavepate, Barristan, Missandei and Daario.

Dany refuses to gather the masters and kill them indiscriminately (ADWD Daenerys IV). By making this decision, she disagreed with Daario.

Dany doesn’t allow the Shavepate to continue his tortures due to their unreliable results (ADWD Daenerys V). By making this decision, she agreed with Hizdahr and disagreed with the Shavepate.

Dany refuses to use her dragons in battle (ADWD Daenerys V). By making this decision, she agreed with Reznak.

Dany decides not to take the field against Yunkai (ADWD Daenerys V). By making this decision, she agreed with the Shavepate and disagreed with Barristan.

Dany brings the food to the Astapori refugees instead of sending someone else to do it (ADWD Daenerys VI). By making this decision, she disagreed with Reznak, the Shavepate and Barristan.

Dany burns the dead among the Astapori refugees, bathes an old man and shames her men into helping her (ADWD Daenerys VI). By making this decision, she disagreed with Barristan.

Dany refuses to allow Hizdahr’s mother and sisters to inspect her womb and to wash Hizdahr’s feet before he washes hers (ADWD Daeneerys VI). By making this decision, she disagreed with the Green Grace and Reznak.

Dany decides to marry Hizdahr by Ghiscari rites and to wear a white tokar fringed with pearls (ADWD Daenerys VI). By making this decision, she agreed with the Green Grace and Reznak.

Dany allows Hizdahr to reopen the fighting pits (ADWD Daenerys VI). By making this decision, she agreed with Hizdahr, the Green Grace and Reznak.

Dany goes along with a peace agreement with the Yunkish slavers in which she’ll let Yunkai and Astapor reinstall slavery if they leave Meereen intact (ADWD Daenerys VI). By making this decision, she agreed with Hizdahr.

Dany holds court in order to, among other reasons, meet the Westerosi men that came over from the Windblown (ADWD Daenerys VII). By making this decision, she agreed with Daario.

Dany doesn’t accept Quentyn’s marriage proposal because she doesn’t want to abandon her people (ADWD Daenerys VII). By making this decision, she disagreed with Barristan.

Dany doesn’t ride a horse in a tokar to meet Hizdahr (ADWD Daenerys VII). By making this decision, she agreed with Missandei.

Dany decides not to sound out the Company of the Cats (even though she wanted to) because Barristan says he's untrustworthy (ADWD Daenerys VIII). By making this decision, she agreed with Barristan.

Dany attends the reopening of the pits (ADWD Daenerys IX). By making this decision, she disagreed with Missandei.

Dany allows the Brazen Beasts to guard her because she wants to show that she trusts them so that her people can trust them as well (ADWD Daenerys IX). By making this decision, she disagreed with Barristan.

Dany prevents Tyrion and Penny from fighting against lions with wooden swords. By making this decision, she disagreed with Hizdahr.

I didn’t include all of Dany’s decisions because she makes many of them on her own and/or without someone explicitly supporting them or opposing them (in fact, many of the ones above were made without any advisor giving her their feedback, but I listed them if they’re seen agreeing or disagreeing with her onpage anyway). That being said, note that Reznak is the one that Dany is most suspicious of (because he perfectly fits the description of one of the treasoners), but that five of her decisions follow his recommendations, in contrast to Barristan (the knight who she actually trusts and who keeps all her secrets) only having his advice followed twice. Also note that Dany “trusted Skahaz more than she trusted Hizdahr”, but she agreed with the former three times and disagreed with him eight times, in contrast to having agreed with the latter four times and disagreed with him twice. The list clearly shows that Dany listens to everyone’s feedback (including from people she distrusts), considers it carefully, makes her own decisions and handles dissent extremely well. Her actions reflect her own words (“A queen must listen to all. [...] One voice may speak you false, but in many there is always truth to be found”, “It seems to me that a queen who trusts no one is as foolish as a queen who trusts everyone”).

There is, however, one character who is seen only listening to people who agree with her and who distrusts and closes herself off to almost everyone - Cersei Lannister. And it’s especially worth noting that Cersei is meant to be “directly contrasted” with Dany, that the author was “doing point and counterpoint” with them and that each of them is meant to show “a different approach to how a woman would rule in a male dominated, medieval-inspired fantasy world”. In other words, Dany and Cersei are narrative foils, but Cersei’s traits are being transferred to Dany in this essay.

Also, I could just as easily create an entire narrative about how Sansa will end up closing herself off to people based on what we see on canon. She thought she could trust Joffrey, but she ultimately couldn’t. She thought she could trust Cersei, but she ultimately couldn’t. She trusted Sandor, but he left her. She tried to trust the Tyrells, but they ultimately disposed of her after she was no longer necessary. She tried to rely on Dontos, but he was a disappointment and was ultimately murdered. She doesn’t trust Littlefinger, but she needs to stick to his side because she has no better option. She considered telling the Vale lords her identity, but she doesn’t trust them. All of this feeds into Sansa’s distrust of others and will lead to tragic consequences. Indeed, as Sansa herself says, "In life, the monsters win". I bet that the essayist would find this whole speculation biased considering that they favor Sansa's character. But then, why is only Dany singled out as the one who is going to meet her demise even though it’s made clear that she continues to trust people through and through?

The essayist needs to say that Dany starts distrusting people to an unhealthy degree (“As Dany gains more power, [...] her focus on the treasons causes her to push people away, widening the gap between rulership and companionship”; ”The more power she gains, the greater her isolation and likely her fear of betrayal. The fear of betrayal is, of course, human. But GRRM has stated that he likes to turn dramatic situations up to 11, which is necessary to create the Shakespearean tragic hero. Dany’s fear must be larger than life.”), as well as to judge her campaign to take back the Seven Kingdoms based on double standards (“Dany’s great sin within the story’s moral order will have been focusing on the war for Westeros against Aegon VI before she turns to the enemy of the North”) compared to the Starks. If they didn’t do so, there wouldn’t be a reason to justify Dany’s demise. If they didn’t do so, the entire speculation that she’s a Shakespearean tragic hero falls apart. But saying that something is true doesn’t necessarily make it true, you need to provide the textual evidence (which they barely do … They assume that the reader will take almost everything they say for granted. After all, since there’s a prophecy foretelling that Dany will be betrayed three times, of course she’s going to distrust people way too much from now on).

There’s also another aspect of Dany’s relationship with prophecies that the essayist portrays inaccurately. They say that “the effect of this prophecy on Daenerys is multifaceted” for “[promising] greatness” (which, along with the also inaccurate statement that “part of Dany’s pursuit of the Iron Throne is born from a sense of destiny”, implies that Dany wants to be great or that she thinks of herself as great, none of which are true) and pushing her “further from the people who surround her”. I already questioned the latter statement, and the former is inaccurate too. After all, Dany has doubts that there are men in Westeros waiting for the Targaryens to return. The birth of the dragons has to do with the fact that Dany was able to put two and two together with clues from dragon dreams and Mirri's words, not because she thinks she's exceptional. Dany is not really sure that the red comet was meant for her. She followed its direction because the other paths weren't reliable and, even in Qarth, she's unsure that it was meant to guide her to success. Then she never thinks about it again. I'd expect otherwise from someone who thinks they're exceptional. Dany is surprised when told by Quaithe that she's the reason why magic is increasing in the world and never thinks or brags about it after their interaction. I'd expect otherwise from someone who thinks they're exceptional. Dany doesn't think she won any victories in the House of the Undying, she credits Drogon for burning the Undying Ones. She only allows Jhiqui to add a bell to the end of her braid because "the Dothraki would esteem her all the more for a few bells in her hair". Dany refuses to sit on the throne inside the Great Pyramid's audience chamber and chooses to sit on a simple ebony bench that the Meereenese think does "not befit a queen". Dany refuses the offer to have a statue in her image to replace the bronze harpy in the Plaza of Purification. I'd expect otherwise from someone who thinks they're exceptional. Dany is highly self-critical and, later in ADWD, thinks that she "was as clean as she was ever going to be" after taking a bath because she holds herself accountable for the upcoming slaughter in the opening of the fighting pits. I'd expect different from someone that thinks they're exceptional. Dany doesn’t think that the people who came to the reopening of the pits wanted to see her - “it was my floppy ears they cheered, not me”. I'd expect different from someone that thinks they're exceptional. Most of Dany's titles (the Unburnt, Mother of Dragons, Mhysa, Azor Ahai, etc) are given to her by other people, they're not self-proclaimed (not that there's a problem if they were, I'm only saying it to reiterate that Dany doesn't think she's exceptional). The ones that she assumes on her own are the ones that anyone who believes in birthright (i.e., everyone in her time and place, regardless of family, regardless of whether they're Targaryens) would assume.

4) When it comes to requirement 4 (Dany will (according to the essayist’s speculations) take actions that produce “exceptional calamity” and her demise will be “her own choice and doing”) … Well, we now enter the realm of speculation. It’s not impossible that Dany “will feel like a villain to the Westerosi, as she burns their villages and crops ahead of a hard winter” in the future. The problem here, once again, is in the double standards. Look at the way the essayist describes the likely reascendance of the Starks in the upcoming books - “With the death of “good” characters like Ned, the injury of innocents and moments such as the Red Wedding, ASOIAF as a story is not concerned with justice. But as the story progresses, we see that the way Ned ruled his people and raised his children contrasts with characters like Tywin and his methods. Much of the North seems to continue to rally behind the idea of the Starks, some with less “honorable” methods than others, while Tywin’s legacy begins to fall apart. Like in Shakespeare’s tragic world, there appears to be an order that arcs towards a higher idea of goodness that instills a dramatic satisfaction”. Like I said above when I questioned requirement 2, the Starks’ claim to the North is no more justified than Dany’s to the Seven Kingdoms. They have the advantage of having had their rule normalized throughout the thousands of years they ruled the North, but it doesn’t change the fact that, because they’re feudal lords, they still maintain a system rigged in favor of the nobles that promotes social inequality and extreme lack of social mobility. It doesn’t change the fact that there's no righteous form of feudalism. But only Dany is criticized in that sense by the essayist - “By nature, power breeds inequality, when one party has the ability to decide the fate of another. That inequality creates distance. As a queen Dany wields absolute power over the rest of her subjects and her court”. Which is pretty infuriating not only because the Starks are also morally grey in the sense that the essayist describes, but also because GRRM specifically mentioned that Daenerys is the ruler "who wants equality for everyone, she wants to be at the same level as her people". Additionally, if Ned left a legacy that motivated his people to fight against his enemies, so did Dany with the former slaves. But the essayist needs to ignore all of that to paint Dany as a Shakespearean tragic hero.

Even if we don’t take into account what TWOIAF reveals about the Starks’ ancestors, the main story itself often paints House Stark’s actions in a negative light. We see a peasant spitting at the mention of the Starks and saying that things were better with King Aerys II in power. We're told that Northmen looking for Jaime on Edmure’s orders burned a village called Sallydance and were guilty of rape and murder. It’s no wonder that the High Sparrow mentions the wolves along with the lions as threats to the septas. Also, thousands of soldiers died indirectly because of Robb’s decisions, as well as lots of people who remained north and became vulnerable to raping and pillaging due to his inability to hold Winterfell. And finally, when winter comes, the smallfolk will be affected by the actions of the northmen, who (like Dany might do in the future) already helped to disrupt the harvest and to leave the continent short on food. And yet, why is their future success framed as “an order that arcs towards a higher idea of goodness”? Why is Dany the only one who is said to be “giv[ing] into dark desires” by “divid[ing] an already weakened realm” when the Starks (framed as the heroes in the essay) did the same thing? This double standard gets infuriating when one remembers that Dany is the one fighting a war in the name of the disenfranchised (even though she is not connected to them by blood or lands or oath of fealty and doesn’t gain anything by helping them), while the Starks are (and will be, if they want to retake Winterfell) fighting a war because of personal injury (which, sympathetic as it may be, doesn’t justify the damage that they caused to the smallfolk). It gets even more infuriating when, as @rakharo pointed out to me, one remembers that, while Dany is trying to right the wrongs of the Valyrians by ending slavery in Slaver’s Bay, none of the Starks have acknowledged, much less tried to make amends for injustices perpetrated by the First Men against the Children of the Forest. It gets even more infuriating when one remembers that Aegon the Conqueror united Westeros in preparation for the War for the Dawn (something that GRRM himself confirmed), while the Starks’ ancestors conquered the North solely because of their greed. That's why Dany’s story can’t be effective as a tragedy: she’d be punished for starting to do what everyone else was doing after doing more than almost everyone else was doing.

5) When it comes to requirement 5 (Dany “[rose] high in position” and is “an exceptional being”, which sets her apart as a character that fits the mold of the Shakespearean tragedy because her reversal of fortune will highlight “the greatness and piteousness of humanity”), again, we’re in the realm of speculation. But there are some things to question as well. First, the essayist validates the criticisms that Dany “too easily ascends to a position of power” by using them as proof that she’s a tragic character. But that’s not really true, which becomes clear with a few comparisons: the Starks lost their father, mother and older brother throughout the story because of the Lannisters, which Dany also did; but her losses go beyond them: she also lost another brother, her first husband and her first child. The Starks had their direwolves given to them, Dany had to use her intuition and then literally walk into a fire to birth her dragons. Aegon the Conqueror used dragons to take Westeros, Dany conquered three cities without barely using hers. Jon Snow’s conflict in ADWD involves conciliating the Free Folk and the Night’s Watch after he makes decisions favoring the former group, while Dany’s involves conciliating the freedmen and the slavers after she makes decisions favoring the former group, which has a worldwide impact; Jon’s conflict has relatively low stakes (because it hasn’t involved the Others so far), Dany’s conflict leads to “half the world” wanting her dead. As these examples show, Dany suffered more losses than the Starks. Dany had to do a lot more than the Starks to find her animal companions. Dany became a conqueror primarily because of her military strategies and resourcefulness without relying on dragonfire like her ancestor. Dany faced greater opposition than her male counterpart Jon so far. As we can see, gaining power and retaining it has not been easy for Dany at all. Every single one of her accomplishments has been earned. But it sure is interesting that Dany’s supposed future tragedies must stem from her actions, but that her victories aren’t given the proper credit and acknowledged as being a result of what she also did as well.

And then the essayist declares something even more inaccurate: that Dany “overcame each obstacle that came her way” and that “Robb and Jon paid for their mistakes while Dany did not” (which, to the essayist, is evidence that “Dany’s fall is meant to stand in contrast as something grander than just one slip-up”).

First of all, Dany clearly did not overcome every obstacle that came her way. Saying so means ignoring all of her ADWD storyline (and it’s funny how Dany's detractors go from saying that she’s overpowered and hasn’t suffered consequences to accusing her of being a bad ruler precisely because she dealt with the negative consequences of her choices, lol). To recap, Dany had an indirect part in the wars outside Meereen because she left the Yunkish slavers’ wealth intact, which leads to terrible consequences - multiple city-states and sellsword companies joining forces against her, Astapor’s fall, the pale mare’s outbreak, the emergence of refugees from Astapor outside her city and the upcoming Battle of Fire. Dany had an indirect role in the wars inside Meereen because she left most of the Meereenese slavers alive with most of their wealth intact, which leads to terrible consequences - the Sons of the Harpy’s attacks and dozens of freedmen’s deaths. Additionally, Dany had an indirect role in Hazzea’s death because Drogon was allowed to roam freely and she had no way to train him or her brothers. All these problems culminate in Dany agreeing with a peace deal that, as already explained here, was inherently unjust for prioritizing the slavers over the freedmen. Dany had to learn that, as much as she wants peace and to plant trees, there are situations in which she can’t be merciful because violence really is the only way to achieve justice for the disenfranchised. (On the flip side, that’s one of the reasons why I’m critical of the theory that Dany accidentally burns King’s Landing. When she was merciful, as I just listed, great tragedies occurred (which is fine, it was a realistic exploration of what happens when you abolish slavery and try to do good). When she used fire and blood, great tragedies will occur too? Even though she would be acting just like the Starks or any other feudal lord by fighting for her birthright? The theory narratively punishes Dany in a way that it doesn't do with the Starks, which is why it's no wonder that it was created by someone with Stark/Stannis biases. Additionally, it validates the common belief that Dany is only meant to be a wartime queen, even though she’s already showed that she’s a good peacetime ruler.)

Second, is dying the only way to pay for one’s mistakes (considering that only Robb and Jon are listed as examples of characters who did)? I don’t think so. Consider Sansa. Didn’t she pay for the mistake of going to Cersei to tell her of Ned’s plan? I would say she did. I would say the author agrees - “Sansa was the least sympathetic of the Starks in the first book; she has become more sympathetic, partly because she comes to accept responsibility for her part in her father's death”. Similarly, Dany had to accept her indirect responsibility for the tragedies that I just listed (Hazzea, forgive me; No marriage would ever bring them back to life, but if a husband could help end the slaughter, then she owed it to her dead to marry.; “I should’ve gone to Astapor. [...] I am the queen. It was my place to know.”; “What kind of mother has no milk to feed her children?”). I would argue that Dany and Sansa both paid for her mistakes, which were acknowledged, made them suffer and influenced their character developments. But the essayist needs to say that Dany didn’t pay for them (or that she had an easy rise to power) to help to paint her as a Shakespearean tragic hero.

6) Now that the essayist’s five requirements have all been questioned, I would also like to mention positive prophecies and speculations related to Dany that are never brought up in this essay.

First, Dany is AA/PTWP/SWMTW. That was heavily foreshadowed (read more about it here) and built up to and, if it doesn’t happen, it frankly would be bad writing. After all, haven’t readers praised GRRM for the foreshadowing of Ned’s death (e.g., a stag having killed the mother direwolf in the beginning of AGOT)? Haven’t readers praised GRRM for the foreshadowing of the Red Wedding (which we see from Tyrion’s to Theon’s to Dany’s chapters)? And yet, the essayist thinks that Dany’s death will cause “the forces [to] become more even, making victory less sure, or the Others surpass the side of the living in strength” and that “the White Walkers gain Drogon, becoming one-on-one but with the White Walkers having the larger dragon.”

Second, Dany and Bran both have dreams in AGOT leading up to their magical awakening. Bran needs to fly to escape from the “cold” of the darkness below, while Dany needs to run from the “icy breath behind”. Both of these dreams culminate with Bran and Dany learning to fly and accepting their magical destinies, which will be important in the War for the Dawn. And yet, the essayist thinks that “by understanding that the concept of warmth is tied to companionship, we can understand that the cold, “icy breath” must represent the opposite: loneliness” to justify Dany’s demise. Instead, it's clear (especially considering the parallels with Bran) that "icy breath" is an allusion to the Others. But they can't acknowledge that Dany will have a crucial role in the War for the Dawn, otherwise their entire speculation falls apart.

Third, Quaithe was presented as the third of the three Qartheen envoys (after Pyat Pree and Xaro) that came to find Dany in Vaes Tolorro, which heavily implies that she breaks the norm and is the one person that Dany can trust. And yet, the essayist takes for granted that Quaithe’s “narrative connection to betrayal is already established”.

Fourth, Dany might as well be the prophesied betrayer, not the one who’s betrayed by three people (after all, she’s already been betrayed by more than three people - Jorah, Mirri, Pyat Pree, Xaro, Brown Ben, the person that gave her the poisoned locusts, etc). It would fit with the pattern of Dany being an active participant in the prophecies rather than a passive one (e.g. Dany is AA/PTWP, not the one who gives birth to the AA/PTWP or the one who dies as a sacrifice to AA/PTWP) even though, at first, the readership is expected to think otherwise. And yet, the essayist takes for granted that Dany will be betrayed because otherwise their entire speculation falls apart.

Fifth, Dany is foreshadowed to have a positive relationship with Jon because “the blue flower” from the “wall of ice” filled the air with “sweetness”. And yet, the essayist needs to say that Dany "[will push] Jon away [...] from fear of betrayal and hurt” and from worries that he might be a “usurper” (nevermind that they are mischaracterizing Dany as someone overfocused on retaking the Iron Throne and who closes herself off due to prophecies, none of which are not true, as I already showed above) because otherwise their entire speculation falls apart.

7) Finally, I would also like to ask: what’s the point of giving Dany a storyline like this? Not only because it would be unearned due to the double standards and the changes that would have to occur in her characterization, but also because Dany has a special place in the narrative. She is 1) one of the two women (along with Asha) claiming power in her own right and the only one that we actually got to see rule, 2) one of three Chosen Ones (along with Bran and Jon) and the only female one, 3) one of two POV revolutionaries (along with Jon) and the only female one (and the one whose storyline arguably has the most political messages since she’s fighting against human slavery), 4) one of two POV female rulers (along with Cersei) and the only one who’s been depicted as competent (because she subverts the Good Princess Evil Queen dichotomy), 5) one of two Targaryen conquerors (three, if Young Griff does indeed take Westeros) and the only female one - “Aegon the Conqueror with teats”, 6) the only major mother who isn’t sure to be doomed and/or hasn’t gone mad, 7) one of two Targaryen queens regnant (along with Rhaenyra) and the only remaining Targaryen woman who gets to have power after a long line of Targaryen women - Rhaenyra herself, but also Rhaena, Aerea, Rhaella, Daenerys (Alysanne’s daughter), Rhaenys the Queen Who Never Was, Baela, Rhaena of Pentos, Daena - who were disempowered. GRRM already has a terrible history with female leaders in particular. If he causes the downfall of another one (especially one who is also one of the five main protagonists) for such unearned reasons like the ones that the essayist laid out, there would also be sexist implications. It would make the only she-king that we saw wielding power onpage overly defined by violence and destruction in a way kings don't have to be depending on their actions, it makes the only competent POV female ruler look incompetent in comparison to the other POV male rulers and it makes her conquest a disaster while the other male Targaryen conqueror (two, if Young Griff takes Westeros) gets to succeed. And yet, death by childbirth is the only speculation that the essayist calls out as problematic (“death by childbirth is a uniquely biologically female phenomenon and would be punishing Daenerys for her sexuality”).

8) What I find insidious about essays like this one is that they pretend to be unbiased (I do not argue for the death of Daenerys as a judgement on her ethical/moral goodness as a character nor of the world she inhabits. I argue it on the strength of her characterization and story, that she should be able to encompass such intensity and greatness as to be considered as complex as all these other single-name headliners in literature.) even though they really aren't. To recap, the essayist portrays Dany as someone with "violent" impulses even though she's a merciful person in general, accepts the peace deal with the slavers as valid even though it prioritizes the slavers' privileges over the lives of marginalized people, only talks about the negative connotations of fire, downplays Dany's compassion and sense of justice, argues that Dany is losing her ability to trust others even though she isn't, says that Dany is negatively affected by promises of greatness even though she isn't, argues that Dany had an easy rise to power and didn't pay for her mistakes even though she did, paints Dany's campaign to take the Iron Throne in a negative light without doing the same with the Starks having dominance over the North and ignores Dany's foreshadowing as AA/PTWP, as well as her special place in the narrative. So it’s not that Dany stans are unable to accept Dany’s mistakes and flaws, it’s that people who dislike her can’t understand her characterization or acknowledge the double standards against her or accept her particular place in the story. At the end of the day, an essay like this one is no better than jonsa metas mindlessly hating on Dany because, just like them, as @semperty and @niniane17 made clear, it also creates speculations with the intent of making Dany self-destruct and become irrelevant to pave the way for their preferred characters. The only difference is that it's more successful at appearing "neutral" to someone who doesn't remember what happened in the books very well, especially because Dany has become a polarizing character for a variety of reasons and it's easy to buy into the Appeal to Moderation fallacy.

Also, as I said before, the fact that these Twitter 'neutrals' all misunderstand Dany's characterization, downplay her struggles and judge her by different standards actually makes me somewhat hopeful that she's getting a better ending, because how can their speculations come true if they don't know Dany at all? But then, it's hard to trust GRRM.

#daenerys targaryen #asoiaf meta #answered

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bonesbuckleup · 4 years

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Lord, this answer got long. I’m a little embarrassed about it, but I wrote it, so it’s getting posted. It’s a literal essay. Sorry but also not?

TLDR: Yes, the show is arguably unfair to Sokka about Kya, but it also follows a pattern where Sokka stays quiet about Bad Feelings and plays by the rules established for his character. Katara, meanwhile, grieves loudly and often, and appears to be under the impression that because Sokka’s grief is silent it doesn’t exist, which also fits her character/interactions completely. Neither of them are right or wrong, but it sets them up on inevitable collisions.

Now. If you want to join me on a cactus-juice fueled descent into madness, proceed below the cut.

Number one. We’re referring to this exchange in “The Southern Raiders,” where the Gaang is talking about Zuko and Katara going after the man who killed Kya, which is vicious and brutal and never reflected on:

Aang: You sound like Jet. Katara: It's not the same! Jet attacked the innocent. This man, he's a monster. Sokka: Katara, she was my mother, too, but I think Aang might be right. Katara (angry, yelling): Then you didn't love her the way I did! Sokka (visibly hurt, softly): Katara.

And that’s it. Upon returning, Katara apologizes to Aang and not, as Anon is absolutely correct in pointing out, to Sokka, who is 100% the more injured party. Now. Is it possible this is one of the rare missteps from the atla writers? Yes. Absolutely. Is that the answer I’m about to write a literal fucking essay about? No. Because it’s more painful fun to take it as face value and talk subtext.

First, a reminder that this show is fucking good at what it does. It teaches you how each character grieves as we go: Aang explodes, often triggering the Avatar state, usually crying or angry, and when he does try to repress his Bad Feelings it rarely lasts longer than a day; Toph either shuts down or gets mad, but either way she doesn’t like people seeing her having Bad Feelings and often storms away, knowing that she can’t control it no matter how much she might want to; Zuko yells at the sky in a rainstorm or yells at his dad in an underground tunnel or challenges Zhao to an Agni Kai or yells at his uncle in a jail cell and generally is an emotive nuclear bomb because the boy has feelings and if he keeps them inside for more than three seconds he might explode okay.

Then we have Katara and Sokka.

Let’s start with Katara, since she has the most textual and straightforward displays of grief. She’s really the only one to talk about Kya’s death in Book 1. If Sokka mentions it, it’s barely in passing. I don’t think we hear Hakoda address her death at all (which I’ll return to in a moment.) Katara’s grief is loud. It’s angry. It’s still very much a living thing for her. She thinks she sees Kya in the swamp and breaks down crying, and tells Aang and Sokka about it with no hesitation. When she’s angry and sad at Hakoda for leaving, she acts out and is visibly upset with him, yells at him, cries at him. She out-loud hates Zuko when she comes to the conclusion that he told her about Ursa and got her to talk about Kya to manipulate her. It isn’t that her grief is performative, because it’s a very real and terrible thing, but it’s a grief that’s to be witnessed.

Then, Sokka. Sokka’s grief is more complicated because it exists almost entirely in subtext, especially in regard to Kya. We really only hear him talk about Kya twice, both in Book 3. First, to Toph, when he tells her that he can’t remember what Kya looks like. Worth noting, however, that even though it is Sokka talking, this is still centered on Katara and Katara’s grief. The next time is when Zuko asks what happened to Kya, and Sokka tells the story that leads into the initial flashback. Sokka doesn’t talk about his mom. This is a fact of the show. It’s such a fact of the show that, in “Southern Raiders,” after the exchange at the start of this post, while Katara and Zuko are on the hunt, Sokka doesn’t bring up Kya again and is messing around with Aang. Like nothing has happened or is currently happening--which I’ll come back to in a moment.

So while we can use Kya as a perfect example of how Katara grieves, we can’t really use her for Sokka. So let’s use Yue instead. Moments we see (or don’t see) Sokka grieving Yue:

In the opening to Book 2, we briefly have a shot of Sokka with the moon imposed behind him.

“The Swamp,” where Sokka’s vision is of Yue accusing him of not protecting her. This one is one of the more textual moments of grief--”I think about Yue all the time”--but what’s awful great about it is how Sokka tells Aang and Katara. Aang, obviously, has no qualms about sharing his vision. Katara openly talks about seeing Kya. Sokka only tells them about Yue when explicitly asked. Even then, he doesn’t mention what she said to him. From this, we can assume that Sokka is still holding onto a lot of guilt over her death--guilt that he won’t let Aang and Katara see. Anyway. Moving on.

“The Serpent’s Pass.” After spending all day panic protecting Suki, he tells her that he lost someone, but doesn’t go much further into detail, just saying that he can’t when she tries to kiss him. Of course, this is all happening in front of the moon. Again, though, Sokka stays vague. He doesn’t tell her any details.

“The Puppetmaster,” Toph posits that maybe the moon spirit has gone mean and is kidnapping people. Sokka snaps at her, in a moment definitely meant for laughs, saying, “The Moon Spirit is a gentle, loving lady. She rules the sky with compassion and ... lunar goodness!” It is a funny moment, but here’s what we can take from it: Toph doesn’t know about Yue. Toph is a Feral Bastard a lot of the time, but she also knows where the line is, and I don’t think she’d’ve said that if she’d known.

“Boiling Rock,” in arguably the most quoted (and well deservedly so!) line in the entire show. “My first girlfriend turned into the moon.” “...that’s rough, buddy.” COMEDIC GOLD. Also, weirdly, the literal only time that Sokka explicitly tells someone about Yue in the course of the show.

“Ember Island Players” which I haven’t hit in my rewatch yet, but I definitely remember a moment where Suki asks Sokka when he was gonna tell her he made out with the moon, and he tearfully shushes her. Again, played for laughs, but the implication is that he still hasn’t told Suki about what happened.

This plays perfectly into the same way that Sokka (doesn’t) talks about his mom. When the Bad Feelings come, Sokka either avoids them and finds a distraction (Goofs with Aang--see, told ya we’d come back to that) or stays silent. When someone explicitly asks him about the Bad Feelings--what he saw in the swamp, what’s eating at him in “Sokka’s Master,” why he’s panic-protecting Suki--he’ll answer, but often talks around the actual issue. (Interestingly, it’s in regard to Suki we see the most explicit manifestation of Sokka grieving as Azula taunts him during the invasion: he cries, he attacks Azula, he yells and questions her despite the fact he knows she’s wasting their time. I think this one hits him because, as this beautiful post points out, Suki’s the protector in the relationship, and Sokka can actually chill out for 2 seconds. But he let his guard down, and Azula got Suki. Anyway. That’s probably a different essay: back to the matter at hand.) We even see this in “Boiling Rock.” There’s a moment where they think Hakoda is not with the other political prisoners. Sokka’s tense, drawn tight, but the only thing he says is, “No.”

Basically, we’ve got Katara, who grieves loudly and rages and is kinda like white-water rapids that churn and churn and churn. And we’ve got Sokka, who, to quote John Mulaney, looks at his grief and says, “I’ll just keep all my emotions right here and then one day I’ll die.” Iceberg grief, to keep the water metaphor going.

And where did these come from? Yup! Water Tribe gender roles! What we know from the show is that, while the South is typically more progressive (women can train as benders and marry who they want, at least) than the North, it’s still very rigid: the men are warriors/hunters/protectors, the women stay home to cook/clean/child-rear.

Now: subtext! And why I think they are this way!

We’ll start with Katara. The last waterbender in the South Pole. She no doubt grew up doted on. If I say she’s most likely a little spoiled, I don’t mean it in a bad way--I mean it in a she’s the last living remnant of this aspect of their culture kind of way. When raiders come, she’s probably the first priority to protect. Kya dies to keep her safe. Her needs are generally put before the community as a whole. (This isn’t to say that Katara doesn’t contribute or care about her community, because she 100% does). But! Especially in Book 1, we see Katara often considering her opinions as facts (trusting Jet, the waterbending scroll) and doesn’t always pause to consider the larger impact that her actions will have (scroll and Jet again, challenging Pakku, dressing up as the Painted Lady despite the fact the factory will hold the village responsible). And many of these actions are good! But we see a lot of Katara being pretty self-centered--what can I do, how does this impact me, how do I feel about this? And this isn’t a bad thing! This aspect of her character makes her complicated and complex! Katara loves her family and protecting people and caring for them! She’s extremely empathetic! But she also struggles to meet people where they’re at when they emote in a different way than she does (see: her clashes with Toph, her initial problems with Zuko joining the group, the above interaction with Sokka). It’s also worth talking about how Katara witnessed her mother’s death, which no doubt makes her grief about it a sharper thing.

Then, again, Sokka. Also loved in his community! But a normal kind of love, I’d assume. He probably was raised on stories of the Fire Nation dragging waterbenders away. No one exemplifies the Water Tribe ride-or-die mentality quite as well as Sokka, or the gender roles of the man as the warrior/protector, so you gotta believe Hakoda raised that kid to look after his sister at all costs, which we see throughout the show (already preparing to go after Aang in the South Pole because he know Katara’s going anyway, “You burned my sister!”) And he isn’t there when his mom dies. He finds out later. He goes from feeling like a victor who helped chased the raiders away to the worst realization of his life. I have to imagine he’s ashamed by the fact that he thought everything was going to be okay, which leads into his worldview of assuming that nothing is okay ever in any circumstance.

Finally, Hakoda. Who never, unless I’ve forgotten something, talks about Kya. All we know is that their family fell apart after her death (per Sokka in “The Runaway,” learning how Katara stepped up to hold everything together) and sometime after he took the warriors and straight up left. He apologizes for leaving but doesn’t address the fact that he left Katara and Sokka with no parents at all, only the war. This is, uh, not exactly echoing a healthy coping mechanism?

My theory: Kya dies. Since the Water Tribe is so embedded in gender roles, Hakoda probably shut down and/or checked out emotionally for a while. This leaves his kids on their own to deal with their shit, and we learn Katara does everything she can to keep her family going. As the most protected individual in the South, Katara’s probably been taught that emotions equal attention, and uses her temper/caring/sadness to help bring her community closer. Meanwhile, Sokka, who hero worships his dad, watches Hakoda go stoic and learns that “real men” shove their shit down. Additionally, Katara’s grief is deafeningly loud, and Sokka’s number 1 role is to keep Katara safe. He’s taught that the Bad Feelings only get in the way and make things worse, and so he learns to be fine no matter what kind of terrible is going down around him. Basically, Katara learns to use grief as a needle and thread, and Sokka learns to bury it as deep as he can and avoid it at all costs. Opposite reactions to the same trauma. Katara gets mad and demands to be heard and listened to and seen, and Sokka gets sarcastic and prepares himself for the day the Fire Nation ships come back for his sister.

So. Back to those above lines from “Southern Raiders.”

From a writing standpoint, I do wish the final moment was between Katara and Sokka versus Katara and Aang. They could’ve had an almost identical interaction, but it would’ve been more nuanced. I don’t think that Katara needed to apologize, but I think we needed some acknowledgement from both of them: Katara continuing the lesson she’s learned about how her pain doesn’t entitle her to hurt other people (including Sokka, who is there no matter what she says or does), and Sokka that Katara’s process of grieving had to involve this catharsis.

Or. Maybe not. Because again--subtext. Their grief works in such different ways that I have to imagine this isn’t a new fight. It was probably brutal and vicious for a very long time. Maybe that’s part of what made Sokka try and go with the warriors. Maybe that’s part of why Katara gets mad so quickly in the first episode of the show. But eventually, unable to find an answer, they just...stop talking about it. Because the two of them don’t talk about it. Katara only talks about her mom with people who aren’t Sokka, and Sokka does exclusively to Toph and Zuko.

The only time I can think of Katara and Sokka talking about it together is the exchange at the top of this post, and it gets ugly fast, and it isn’t brought up again. It’s a fight that will never be resolved, because they fundamentally can’t react to one another in a way that can be universally understood.

“You didn’t love her the way I did!” Katara yells, loudly, because if Sokka loved her then why isn’t he raging? Why isn’t he getting his sword and coming to help her? Why doesn’t Sokka want to burn this firebender to the ground and make him see and hear and look at what he’s done to the world? To their family? He must not understand. He must not care as much or he’d be screaming with her.

“Katara,” Sokka says, much quieter, and adds nothing else. Not because there isn’t anything else to say, but because Sokka can’t talk about this kind of thing. Not doesn’t want to, but can’t, because it’s his job to protect people, protect Katara, and if he lets all those old hurts come boiling up he can’t do that, because that ends with losing focus and losing control and people getting hurt or going away. Why can’t she understand that?

And then they do what they always do. They don’t bring it up again.

#LITERAL ESSAY BY TUMBLR USER BONESBUCKLEUP #Sokka #Katara #atla #this is what isolation has done to me #this is the nerdiest bullshit that I've spewed in a while #felt good though #writing's been hard recently #I'm working myself back into it through atla shitposts and meta #long post #If I could harness this energy into something other than fandom I might rule a small country by now?#oh well

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miraculouscontent · 4 years

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The fact that Alya AGREED to lock Mari and Adrien in a room with a SUPERVILLAIN and make them believe no one loves them just made me LOSE any positive opinion of Alya I could've had. Same with Nino. Also, can this girl get ANY privacy. But no, Alya and Nino just HAD to spy on them while making all those rude remarks? And why is it THEIR duty to get the love square together? I'm kinda getting sick of the "Black Best Friend" trope, can't these two ever do their own thing?

Yeah, even if though was a fake supervillain, I can’t believe that Nino was okay with just--luring his best friend into this whole scheme that said best friend knows nothing about.

There are also so many red flags here.

A direct quote from Marinette to Alya: “I might need more training to be just his friend after all.”

Alya proceeds to tell her that there’s still time to get off the plane, which sounds fine at first, but then she goes go on and on about how romantic New York is, causing Marinette to fall deeper and deeper into a state of discomfort/horror/disgust until she screams that she has to “get out of here.”

Ms. Mendeleiev then asks what’s wrong and Alya does not actually help Marinette get off the plane (despite saying that Marinette could and just hearing Marinette say that she has to get out of there), instead asking for Marinette’s seat to be moved.

Then, again, after Marinette told her to her face that she needs help seeing Adrien as “just a friend,” Alya spends basically the entire rest of the special teasing/mocking Marinette by asking about anything remotely “romantic” they did and just generally trying to force Marinette together with Adrien.

(also, as the anon said, spying on Adrien and Marinette with Nino and making comments+scheming about it instead of just talking with said friends about their problems, because no, teasing Marinette does not count because it doesn’t look genuine and I can’t believe I have to grill Alya for this again after “Desperada”).

And when the scheme goes bad? When Alya and Nino had sent Adrien and Marinette away to the room that the supervillain ends up stealing from and then don’t hear from them until nighttime?

No mention of it, nor apology. They see Marinette and Adrien through a window, they run outside, then they just stand there at the top of the staircase with everyone else instead of rushing down to exclaim how glad they are that Adrien and Marinette are okay. Then the car pulls up to take Adrien back and Nino’s all, “No, dude, stay!” which is something but not enough, especially since Adrien ignores it and chooses to fish for Marinette to say it instead.

And Alya? She’s not even close to the bare minimum level of friendship that Nino gave to Adrien. After the car starts driving away, she snaps at Marinette, asking “What is WRONG with you, Marinette?!” and talking about how Adrien was just waiting for her to tell him to stay, then pressuring her to make a choice about her feelings on Adrien after both Marinette and Adrien had just returned from being missing.

(you know, as if whether Marinette loves Adrien should impact her wanting him to stay, or whether she wants him to stay should impact Gabriel’s decision in any way, shape, or form)

Alya then lets Marinette run after a car, in the rain, while there’s a supervillain on the loose and the news has told everyone to stay safe. About fifteen seconds after Marinette left Alya’s side to start running after Adrien (picking up a bike in the process), the bike she’s riding on slips out from under her due to the rain and Marinette is left lying face-down on the pavement.

Had Alya just walked towards the scene a little (Marinette had barely turned a single corner before the bike slipped) or cared enough to go check and see if Marinette had caught up with a freaking car, she would’ve seen Marinette there, but she didn’t because the next scene we see Marinette in is her all alone in an empty intersection.

And there’s no mention of it from Alya afterward. No worry, no concern, nothing. The next time they’re seen together, Alya brings up Adrien (stressing the “friend” thing again even though, according to Alya’s logic, Marinette chasing after Adrien must mean that she’s acknowledging that she feels more for him than “just a friend” now) and Marinette nervously mutters, “Oh, Alya I don’t know,” which you think would prompt Alya to apologize for all the pressure she put Marinette under, or ask why Marinette is so determined to see Adrien as a friend, or say that she was sorry that things didn’t work out, or at least wonder to herself if trying to force her best friend to be with someone when she said she didn’t want that was a terrible idea that only made her feelings/confusion worse in the worst way.

But, no. Alya just tells Marinette not to think about it right now and grabs both of Marinette’s hand to pull her off to the surprise they planned for Adrien.

Keep in mind that, in episodes like “Catalyst,” Alya was all, “oh Marinette, you’re just jealous of Lila because she hit on Adrien!” and constantly questioning Marinette’s behavior around Alya because of Adrien, so Alya clearly sees this as an issue.

Yet now, when Marinette is like, “okay, I’m going to start trying to see him as a friend,” Alya steps in to put Marinette in her place and force her to get together with Adrien whether she consented or not.

Even beyond all of that, what Alya and Nino trying to achieve is so baffling when put together. Like, okay--Alya want Marinette to be clear about her feelings - basically, she wants Marinette to confess to Adrien - while Nino wants Adrien to come out of his shell. I think it is absolutely wrong for both of them to try and make plans about it behind their friends’ backs, but that’s not the important part.

The important part is that their plan assumes Adrien’s feelings, because imagine if the plan had succeeded and Marinette had confessed to Adrien... and then Adrien turned her down.

Not only would things immediately get awkward between Adrien and Marinette, but I don’t think for a second that Adrien would be inclined to “come out of his shell” again after his attempt to do so here ended in having to turn down Marinette, which caused her to feel terrible.

And just as a reminder, this was the last scene in the show where Alya and Nino were anywhere near Adrien:

They were literally right next to Adrien and Kagami, with Adrien having his hand on Kagami’s cheek.

Alya and Nino’s plan was doomed to fail from the start, and Alya has officially crossed the line where I had any hope of believing in Marinette’s friendship with her.

#((Alya in ''Animan'': Alya: He doesn't know who it is! Pinky swear! Cause... cause I don't go and make decisions for other people!))#((Also Alya: *this entire freaking special*))#category: salt #special: Miraculous New York #other: ask and answer #other: ml spoilers

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a-froger-epic · 3 years

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It was Brian and Roger who stated that Hot Space sounded too much like a gay disco which they didn't like and something about feeling like it wasn't inclusive/ relatable for the hetero sector of their audience which is stupid imo. John hated Hot Space, he liked funky music but hated the end result of the album. Also, the fact that Freddie didn't want to be out to the world doesn't mean in any way that he wasn't out and proud with his friends. (1/2)

Hey anon, could you share with me the source where Brian and Roger say, in those words, that Hot Space sounded too much like a gay disco? I don't think I've come across that one. I do vaguely recall something about Brian saying one thing or the other wasn't as relatable, I just can't remember the details at all - anybody know the quote or got it handy?

Here are some things Brian did have to say about Hot Space, in retrospect:

"Hot Space was a mistake, if only timing wise," May reflected in 2014. He declined to label this Queen's worst album, but added: "We got heavily into funk and it was quite similar to what Michael Jackson did on Thriller. But the timing was wrong. Disco was a dirty word."

For context, some of Queen's staunch fans started coming to concerts with placards reading "DISCO SUCKS". It isn't gay discos Brian is talking about, at the very least not here. He's acknowledging that the disco flavour of the album was too much a departure from rock for some of their long-standing fans.

“There are some things on the album which I felt came out too light, that's all. Like 'Body Language'. There's a lot of things where I felt that we became so obsessed with the rhythm side that we were afraid to turn up the guitars. Afraid to use the guitar as a force." - also Brian. Lol, he would say that about the guitars.

Here is something Roger had to say:

(thanks to @just-a-poor-boy-queen for looking up two of these real quick)

As for John, yes, that's right. He wasn't happy with how the album came out in the end. I'm sorry if I misunderstood your previous ask, it seemed to suggest to me that Freddie had insisted on making this really gay album none of them wanted to make, and that just wasn't the case. All of them were invested in the album, it was only when it was very poorly received that they started picking it apart and musing on what had been wrong with it, as is natural, I think. One of the things that happened, was that usually Queen were heavily involved in the mixing process, but with Hot Space Mack was actually very heavily involved, more than previous sound engineers had been. Mack and Freddie were very much on the same wavelength, so I can imagine that maybe the direction in which Mack took it during mixing gelled better with Freddie than it did with the others. That would also explain Mack's sentiment that the rest of the band weren't as supportive of Freddie, perhaps. Just speculation.

I didn't say Freddie wasn't out and proud with his friends. Of course he was. Very much so, he formed a lovely circle of gay friends where he could fully flaunt that side of himself. But I don't think he was more at ease with his gay friends than with the band. Those were entirely different relationships, and we are all different people depending on situations and context. Given how well especially Freddie, Brian and Roger knew each other, and John too later, how often they had shared rooms, probably even beds sometimes and vans, how much time they had spent together - and how they continued to hang out. There is an audio recording of Brian hanging out at Garden Lodge in the mid 80s, surrounded by Freddie's gay friends. Jim noted Freddie and Roger were soul mates who used to sit on the sofa giggling together. None of this gives me the impression that Freddie wasn't at ease with his band mates.

Of course he didn't want to throw his sexuality in their faces. At first. The man suffered from immense internalised homophobia and was terrified to come out. But once he did start having boyfriends, the more time went on, the more his boyfriends were also consistently around Queen. Even Bill Reid, who the entire band hated (and frankly, with good reason) spent time with Queen, it wasn't as though Freddie was hiding his life away from them once he'd come out to them in not quite so many words. And yeah, I think that is telling. It tells me Freddie felt accepted by his bandmates.

But, yes, he did go out to different places and he had separate circles of friends because those two worlds were much further apart back then, then they are now. And it was difficult to bridge them. Freddie couldn't go out in a straight club, after all, and be romantic with his boyfriend, just for example.

I'm sure they all realised that not being known as the gay band was good for their career, but - to say that they wouldn't have supported Freddie if he had decided to be more public about it, which (please forgive me if I'm wrong) I feel that you are suggesting, is speculation. That's impossible to know, and therefor irrelevant.

Yes, they were 100% accepting of Freddie in my opinion. That doesn't mean, also imo, that none of them had any homophobic views. It just means that they took Freddie for who he was and stood by him, and looking at his stage costumes, some of the videos, some of his songs... at least to me it very much looks as though that was the case.

#Long post #ask response #Queen band

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infinites-chaser · 4 years

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Librarian! PH. 52 MLQC MC / Victor :)

HELLO ANON U WERE ONE OF THE FIRST PEOPLE TO RESPOND TO MY LIBRARIAN ASK GAME I’M SO SORRY IT’S TAKEN SO LONG,,, victor is just. hard to write. aLSO I'm doubly sorry since i’ll be combining this with the Victor ask from @truth-be-told-im-lying hope neither of you mind T-T i don’t think my mind could do two victor ficlets akwlfjsdkls

ANyway I love you both LOTS AND LOTS hopefully this attempt at Victor isn’t extremely out of character;;; it’s a lowkey soulmates AU if that counts for anything :> aND this fic gets the special treatment of an actual Title bc True was wonderful enough to help me by typing Victor as an Enneagram Type One

okaaay and without further ado,

49, 52 + Victor/MC

‘[He] wakes up in [his] bed, determined to begin again.’- These Ghosts Are Family, Maisy Card. (pg. 49)

‘As [he] pushes through the onlookers to meet [her], he is certain he is the only person moving.’- These Ghosts Are Family, Maisy Card. (pg. 52)

((pronoun changes in both quotes to better fit the ficlet))

spoilers for Victor/MC’s childhood!

spend my whole life searching

Victor doesn’t believe in soulmates. (After half a lifetime of searching turning up nothing, he doesn’t believe in much.)

Once upon a time, he might’ve. (He wanted to). His heart rate doubled and sped up to match hers— a carefree little girl skipping across the road, too far away to hear his nerves cry danger, too caught up in dreams and fantasies to hear his warning shout. Time slowed down so he could save her, and on that afternoon on the crosswalk, drops of rain suspended in the air, he did.

At that age, he hadn’t had the sense to wonder why a young girl like her had been crossing the street without supervision. Why her smiles had come freely, but had always looked a little sad, a little wistful. Why she’d been so eager to accept his baked treats. Why she’d been at the playground without a parent. Why she’d always been alone.

Now, seventeen years later, he wishes he did. Wishes he’d known something as simple as her last name.

He dreams of her. Of finding her again: the girl whose heartbeat matched his. The girl whose smile had slowed down time itself for him, as if short moments with her could’ve each stretched into a gentle eternity. He’d wanted them to. He’d wanted to capture every moment spent with her, to make them last, to savor them, so they’d pass slow and sweet like honey on the tongue.

Time had passed slow when he’d wanted it to. Those sunlit afternoons had been sweet, they’d been happy.

Only, time is a fickle thing. When he takes his eye off it, it races away, too fast for him to keep up.

The kidnapping. The experiments. The torture.

The escape.

She saves him. He’s too slow to save her.

And even if he can stop time, here’s the thing: he can never turn the clock back.

Still, he wakes up. Every morning, he gets out of bed. Gets dressed and goes to work. The world around him moves on, and demands he does, too, even if his heart’s still eleven years old and clutching her motionless body, eleven years old, the only sound in his ears his pounding pulse, the absence of the accompaniment of hers an accusation more painful than any hateful words.

It’s a recurring theme in his life, time. It’s ironic, really, when he thinks about it. That he can stop time without lifting a finger, and yet, when it comes to things he cares about, people he loves most, he’s always eleven years old again, always too late.

(His Evol’s time control, but perhaps, all this time, he hasn’t been controlling time, it’s been controlling him. He’s imprisoned by a single moment, a memory, a regret. A past that can never be undone.)

Whenever he has spare time, he devotes himself to searching. Resigns himself to the fact he’ll probably never find her, if all he has to go off of is a child’s face, once preserved in his memory, now fading. Hair color. Eye color. Age. A name. Nothing more.

The searches turn up nothing.

He spends late nights in the office to distract himself, builds up a capitalist kingdom of a company, if only to put off for a few hours more the prospect of returning home to face his nightmares alone.

His father praises him for LFG’s growth over dinners filled with awkward silences. The name Victor Li appears more and more often in business newspapers. Investors approach him. He gets interviews. Gets offers for TV appearances, for sponsorships.

He takes them, these material successes. Wonders if any amount of them could ever make up for the failure from his childhood. If they could bring her back. He tells himself if he finds her, when he finds her, when he brings her back, it’ll be to a more perfect world. One in which he’ll never fail her again. It’s a foolish thought, but it keeps him going. With it in mind, he proceeds to work twice as hard.

Souvenir is what saves him. A small allowance, a self-indulgence, a seed of hope planted in what he thinks is his darkest time.

It’s for her, more than any of his frantic searching ever was. A dream, a foolish one, that one day she’ll step through his memories and through the restaurant’s door, that one day they’ll share a pudding together again, their hearts beating as one.

He doesn’t get to open Souvenir often; his job doesn't let him. He made sure of that, long ago. But when he does, after the last customer’s left, and he’s put up the closed sign, he cooks for two.

(The first time, Mr. Mills had taken a single look at his silent, still face, and his expression must've spoken volumes. The older man hadn't said a word, only helped clean the kitchen after, the normally gentle lines around his mouth pulled taut in a worried frown.)

He sets the second place at the table himself: carefully places fork, knife and spoon beside lukewarm appetizers, tucks a napkin under soup bowls going cold. Watches the empty seat and the untouched meal for an eternity before finally eating his own. His technique's impeccable. It has been ever since he'd aced his culinary lessons, since he'd bought out the school. He'd used the finest ingredients. He always does.

The food still crumbles like ash in his mouth. (It always does.)

Mr. Mills will find him there, nursing a glass of wine long into the night. He knows better not to question it, but sometimes he'll pull up a chair, drink a glass, too. talk of everything and nothing, talk of his parents, his sister's family, of times gone by.

Victor will never admit it, but the older man's presence makes those nights less hard. his stories, his memories — they keep the ice in his heart from spreading any further when it feels like nothing else will.

Ten years stretch into thirteen, into fourteen, into fifteen, into a broken clock, time stopped because does the passage of time mean anything if he measures it, measured it in time with her? If she's gone?

The meals shrink. First appetizers vanish, then entrees too, until all that's left are desserts, puddings that he stares at all evening, puddings a girl had loved once, that he can almost imagine her sitting there eating, her noticing him watching her and her answering blush and smile. His smile back.

Almost, because after all these years without her, he can’t quite imagine her face. Not as she would look now. Not even as she was, seventeen years back.

(He dreams and finds he doesn’t remember what her smile looked like, exactly. Doesn’t remember the sound of her heartbeat mingling with the sound of his.

Memory is cruel. Memory is imperfect. No matter if you can stop time, no matter how hard you try to memorize a moment, when you revisit it, it’ll never be the same as when you lived it the first time.)

Then:

The day starts like any other. He wakes up, gets out of bed, gets ready for another day of work, another night of searching. He scrolls emails while waiting for his espresso machine to heat, then puts his tablet aside when the coffee's done. He eats in silence. As always, he's done five minutes before he needs to leave for the company, the perfect amount of time for him to do a last-minute check in the mirror— his tie's straight, his shirt unwrinkled, not a hair on his head out of place. The reflection that stares back at him is unchanging; these days it barely shows even the passage of time.

He sighs. Shakes the thought off like the piece of lint it is on his otherwise immaculate state of being, and heads for the door, the lock automatically clicking behind him at eight o'clock am, exactly on schedule, exactly as planned.

He's about to take a seat in his car when an inexplicable urge to walk to work takes hold of him. He pauses. Calculates and re-calculates the time it would take (fifteen minutes, not accounting for rush hour traffic making crosswalks slow), and he's about to decide it's not worth it, it's a silly thought, but the urge intensifies.

Do it, the eleven-year-old in his heart seems to be telling him. You won't regret it.

He frowns and rubs his forehead— for a moment, he wonders if all his searching, all his foolish hopes are finally getting to his brain.

He decides to take the walk, anyway.

He regrets it, not nine minutes later, when despite the sun's light shining strong through the clouds, a light rain begins to fall.

Worse still, the traffic lights haven't changed once in the past ninety seconds. He won't be late, he'd accounted for this, but he's stuck in a crowd of pedestrians, and their chatter's beginning to grate on his nerves. He's considering calling the mayor about it after exactly one hundred seconds have passed— clearly, the light's broken, this is far too long for commuters to wait— but then, finally the walk sign flicks on.

He's already across the street when it happens:

First, a phone rings.

Then, the loud honking of a car.

Tires screech.

Time slows. Time stops.

He's back on the crosswalk in a matter of heartbeats, the inattentive idiot in his arms (it's a girl, it's always a girl, hair dark, eyes wide, expression shocked).

"You..." She says, blinking up at him with those wide, almost-familiar eyes. Distantly, he registers the echo of a heartbeat overlapping with his.

"Who are you?"

Who are you? His mind asks, but deep in his heart, he already knows the answer. It can't be.

"Evolver?" He says instead, shoving down memories that threaten to surface: another rainy day, another crosswalk, another heart that had seemed matched to his. He tells himself he's being delusional, that he thinks he can hear her heartbeat because she's in his arms, wide-eyed and fragile, her heartrate skittering back and forth like a fool— this isn't like his careful, methodical searching, this is a fluke beyond flukes, it means nothing, it'll lead to nothing in the end.

But she's in his arms, warm and soft against his protective embrace, she's in his arms and it feels so right it's almost painful, his pulse pulled into a panicked pace to match hers.

He sets her down abruptly, as if burned, and turns to go.

"Someone can't come to your rescue every time."

Around them, suspended raindrops begin to fall. The world, resumed. The world, once again predictable and mundane. Except for her.

He knows, without looking back, she's staring after him, her heart, his heart, still racing.

He allows himself a smile.

He allows himself some small sliver of hope.

(His frozen time starts moving again.)

#mlqc #mlqc victor #mlqc fanfic #val writes #hNnghghg this took so Long and writing vic gives me so much stress BUT HOPE Y'ALL ENJOY #u didnt hear it from me but it was actually really interesting to explore his character like this and. i've definitely developed more of an #appreciation :> of sorts #victor is an enneagram one and rly that's all that matters thats all u need to learn from this fic #also sOULmate AUs i love them that's it does this mean i think vic is MC's soulmate;;; maybe in this universe but not generally ailsjkfd #JUST FOR THE RECORD. i am not a vic stan so it must be said #TIL that mr mills does not have a wife/family and that makes me rly sad

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because-of-a-friend · 4 years

Text

Boyfriend!Dino Fluff

MASTERLIST

Hey anon! Thanks for the request and the kind words about my writing! I hope this is what you wanted! Feel free to request more! This is a series I do by request so if I’m missing someone you want, you have to request it!

Dino and you meet at a coffee shop

He’s rushing to grab a drink before he has a meeting with the other members and some of their managers

Which is why he’s not paying a whole lot of attention to the orders being called out as he reads the texts Coups is sending him to hurry up

So when he hears an order that sounds close to his but not exactly

He just grabs it thinking they must have messed it up and he doesn’t have the time to deal with it

And he’s already gulping it down when he turns to leave and sees you!!!

And you were coming up to grab your drink

AKA the drink he is currently downing

When he realizes what is happening he turns so red

And starts stuttering

“I just- I was in a rush so- It was so similar to mine- I thought”

You just laugh

“Hey honestly it’s fine, if you’re in a rush, go ahead and take it”

“Oh wow, honestly you’re too kind, I don’t know how to make it up to you”

“I can just take your drink! And... you can give me your number”

Dino.exe has stopped working

“Right... right! My number!”

He grabs your phone and types it in

You take your phone back and look up

He’s just sitting there staring at you

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?”

“Oh right!” he panics and starts heading for the door. “Text me soon! I’ll buy you a replacement coffee!”

The whole time he’s in the meeting

He’s in a daze

Just like trying not to grin as he thinks about you being so forward and catching him off guard and making his heart beat like crazy

It doesn’t actually take you long at all to text him

“Hey coffee boy, when am I getting my replacement drink?”

He reads the text twenty times in a row and every time he jumps back onto his bed and kicks his feet into the air

Hoshi walks into his room and walks back out immediately

“Umm guys, I think Dino is broken”

Dino realizes he actually has to reply and asks if you’re free to meet that weekend

You are!!!

When you get to the cafe, Dino is already there with both of your drinks

“You remembered my order?”

“Well it’s so close to mine”

He’s already red

There’s a moment of silence

“So, coffee boy, do you have a name?”

“Oh! It’s Chan, Lee Chan”

“Hello Lee Chan, I’m [Y/N]”

After finally introducing yourselves, you get to know each other

Dino really really really really likes talking to you so he asks you every little question he can think to

And he commits it all to memory

It doesn’t take him long to realize you are his ideal type that he didn’t even know he had

Like your humor, your interests, the way you speak

Every little gesture makes him feel comfortable and happy

You two talk for hours without even realizing it

He doesn’t even know how late it is until Mingyu is calling him to ask why he’s not at practice

“Oh! I have to go!”

“Haha, you’re always in a rush, aren’t you Lee Chan”

He scratches the back of his head and blushes a bit

“I don’t want you to think I’m just running off, I really enjoyed spending time with you and-”

You grab his hand to stop his rambling

“We’ll do this again” you affirm before sending him off

And you do

You and Dino meet up for little dates more and more often

The other boys are having a heyday when they realize what’s happening

“[Y/N] and Dino sittin in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G”

“Guys pls this is the third time you’ve sung that today”

“First comes love then comes marriage-”

“This is why I’m never introducing them to any of you”

But he still shyly asks them to help him come up with date ideas and how to dress when he meets up with you

Your whole relationship is so exciting for him bc honestly he had never really thought about dating until he met you so he’s feeling all this stuff for the first time and it’s just a great time for him tbh

Meaning he absolutely adores you

Get ready for random moments where you look up and he’s just looking at you like

* * * * * * * * * * * * Heart Eyes * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

He’s also gonna get shy and giggly any time he initiates physical contact

But he’s like obsessed with hugging you, cuddling, holding your hand, kissing you

His love for you is always overflowing so it’s evident in everything he does

He’s always being affectionate, making time to see you, buying you thoughtful gifts, listens to you intently

But he acts like it’s such a big deal when you do the same????

Like one time you came to bring him lunch on a busy day

He looks like he’s gonna explode with joy

But then the other boys appear and he’s like

“You gotta leave”

“Are you ashamed of me coffee boy?”

“No I just don’t want them to scare you away”

Too late

Mingyu has spotted you and now all twelve of them are introducing themselves simultaneously and asking you a billion questions

And Dino’s like “pls leave them alone”

But you think it’s so funny and you’re having the time of your life talking to them

And it’s really fun to see how much Dino takes after them

But he’s also a nervous wreck, hoping that no one says anything to offend anyone else

But of course that doesn’t happen

They all like you and you like all of them

So Dino starts inviting you over more often bc you knowing the other boys and getting along with them and feeling comfortable spending time with them is really important to him

But he also somewhat regrets it when you and Seungkwan occasionally gang up on him to tease him (harmlessly, of course)

But the fact that you get along with them so well still makes him so so happy

Then one day Coups gets you a ticket to their concert

And of course Dino wants you to be interested in what he does and get to see it

But he’s never been so nervous for a show before

What if you don’t like it?

What if you think he’s no good?

He puts his whole heart and soul into his performance that night

When they exit the dressing rooms he’s a nervous wreck

He sees you standing down the hall, lightstick hanging from your wrist, looking worn out from attending the concert

As soon as you see him you rush to greet him and jump into his arms

“Did you like it?” he whispers quietly into your ear

“Channie are you kidding me??? I loved it!!!”

He squeezes you so tight you think you’re gonna pop

And as if your words didn’t make him happy enough, he can hear that your voice is scratchy so you must’ve been cheering pretty loud

“C’mon babe, let’s get you a warm drink”

“But I’m already so hoooooot”

“Yeah but you’ll thank me tomorrow when you actually have your voice”

After that you attend your concerts all the time

Dino is beaming whenever you come

Accept that one time Seungkwan paid you to hold a sign with his name on it just to see Dino’s reaction

And he’s so excited whenever you ask him about his career and his dancing and music

He rambles on and on and on and on about it

He’s just so excited to get to share that part of his life with you

And you love seeing how passionate he is about it

Another thing tho

You like never call him Dino

Since he introduced himself as Chan and that’s what you called him before you knew his stage name

And he’s fine with it

But it’s also weird bc sometimes he’s so used to everyone calling him Dino 24/7

Sometimes you’ll be like “Chan, baby, can you pass me the salt?”

*no response*

“Hey Chan?”

*still no response*

“Hey! Lee Chan, I’m talking to you”

“Oh sorry, I forgot that was my name for a second”

You start quoting Seventeen’s song lyrics to him to embarrass him sometimes

But he gets to turn around and make fun of you bc

“Last time I checked, [Y/N], you asked me to sing you to sleep with those same lyrics just last night”

There’s definitely a very fun, teasing aspect to your relationship bc Chan doesn’t like to take things too seriously and wants you two to have a lot of fun

But he doesn’t shy away from the more serious parts of being in a relationship and is actually incredibly mature and responsible in facing any issues you two have head on and solving it all in the best way possible

Dino is generally a really level headed person so he always tries to look at things from your perspective and is really great at coming up with solutions and compromises that satisfy you both

He buys y’all matching stuffed animals so that you both have something to cuddle when he’s away on tour

Such a softie honestly

But seriously

He’s just a great bf who is gonna treat you right and be incredibly cute and cheesy while he does it

#dino #dino imagines #chan #chan imagines #lee chan #lee chan imagines #seventeen #svt #seventeen texts #seventeen snaps #seventeen reactions #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #svt texts #svt snaps #svt reactions #svt imagines #svt scenarios

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hmslusitania · 3 years

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I love fandom’s takes on the whole horse metaphor, but these posts also reminded me of how little sense Ana’s use of it makes. (This is going to get incredibly long, i’m so sorry)

Now, i’m far from an expert in linguistics, in fact i’m not even a native English speaker. But this metaphor exists in my native tongue as well, and if i’m not mistaken it says:” Get back on the horse that bucked you” in it’s entirety. Now that’s not some hustling quote, that’s referring to the fact that people tend to develop an irrational fear of getting back in the saddle after a horse threw them off, unless they try again fast enough. It’s saying that you shouldn’t shy away from facing a challenge again, even if you failed the first time, so you don’t get stuck on the ground indefinitely.

Ana’s addition about “not liking horses” is, at best, making a point about how one should sort out their priorities, decide if a certain challenge is worth it and at worst it’s telling them to take the coward’s way out, to quit before they even got started. ( Also, “oh, I dON’t eVen LIke xy” is what a child says when they’re throwing a temper tantrum after something didn’t work the way the wanted it to, just saying)

But also…Chris DOES like skateboarding. Chris WANTS to skateboard. That’s not up for debate! Ana doesn’t want to make sure that Chris only invests strength and time in things he actually wants/likes, she just thinks that he isn’t capable of taking on this specific challenge and therefore shouldn’t even try. But saying it like this just wouldn’t have sounded as inspirational and sage as misusing that pretty little metaphor, right?

Hey, Anon!

I mean, yeah. Your interpretation of the metaphor is exactly as I've understood it. One is encouraged to get back on the horse because if one does not immediately try to get back on the horse from which one has fallen, one may develop a fear response to that precise thing. It would be one thing to get back on the metaphorical horse and therefore curb one's fear of it, and then decide that, yeah, no, horses aren't for you, but skipping the "get back on" step seems to encourage maintaining that fear response which is less than ideal in a majority of situations.

And yeah, the first time I watched Fools, and she made her pretty little metaphor about it, I had a moment of "...wait. What?" because as you point out in your last paragraph: Chris did not learn that he doesn't like "horses."

I honestly don't have anything to add, I just really appreciate the way the rest of the episode went out of its way to prove her use of the metaphor wrong.

#the ghost ship answers questions #anti ana

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theinconveniencing · 4 years

Text

we all knew this was coming and I’m a sentimental bitch. I just wanted to write all my mutuals some little messages about how much I love you. you guys have changed my life and I am so grateful for each and every one of you!!!💕💞💓💗💖💘 anygays have fun searching for yourself in this mess and I’m sorry for any typos, I’m illiterate (and if i forgot you it’s because i lost my brain in 1912)

@cr1spyy fernanda, my first ever mutual. who would have thought that your 5th wave posts would have brought one of the most amazing people in my life to me. your posts always make me laugh and your dedication to the good morning asks is admirable (fr I could never have that much consistency) you’re so kind to everybody and you’re absolutely beautiful and incredible and I fucking love you so much. I honestly don’t even want to think about what my life would be like if I had never met you, MWAH💕🤍

@sundaymorninghangover I remember you being my first ever note!! you liked this post I made that was a reblog of a “uquiz” that was actually a rickroll lmao. you didn’t even follow me back then but whatever. Then I remember waking up one day to see that you had tagged me in a bingo ask game and I was like “ummm tf is an ask game” but I do still have a bingo card for it that I never used ekenksjs. anygays, you have good opinions on everything and you’re absolutely fucking hilarious. If you told me back in may that I would be friends with you I wouldn’t believe it bc you intimidated me but regardless I’m glad to be an arson gang member with you. your memes are god tier and so is your music taste. I love you whore!!!!!🖤💜

@sound-and-colors ma’am you’re so nice and for what??? the aesthetic stuff that you reblog is *chef’s kiss* and nobody else is out there doing it like you. we’ve never talked but I just know that you are absolutely incredible mwah❤️💛

@embeddedinmybrain tasfia you are the nicest person on his hellsite and you know it (I hope). It was so much fun being your secret admirer anon while it lasted, like fr I loved it. Your art is beautiful just like your heart and i honestly don’t know what I did to deserve such a kind soul like you in my life. You’re always there to hype me up and ily (also just cut your own hair already I believe in you)🤍💙

@gumptin you hooked me with your suus icon and reeled me in by being the coolest and funniest person ever. your posts are consistently hilarious, accurate, or relatable and I admire that. I mean it when I say you’re one of the coolest people on here. idk what I did to have you think I’m cool but I’m honored nonetheless. also you have really awesome style and hair jdnjdjdjd mwah💚💛

@nori-in-pink first and foremost, your blog always has a very nice aesthetic and I feel like I need to acknowledge that. anyway, you are so kind and supportive and you don’t take any bullshit and that is absolutely amazing. you are absolutely iconic and always reblog the best stuff so I know I can count on your blog to be fantastic. you used to scare me (idk why don’t ask) but now I know that you’re just a big teddy bear ily💗💜

@matteohnora my slurpee queen and my mememate!! you always send me the funniest shit and it doesn’t go unappreciated. You’re always there for me with a silly meme or emotional support and I don’t think I’ve ever told you how grateful I am for that. whenever you stalk my blog it makes my heart go whooosh and I feel so special. Ily and I am so glad to have met you💜❤️

@lieverobbe ah yes, the girl with the impeccable music taste. that’s what I know you as, oh well. you are more talented and kind than you could ever believe and your edits are amazing!!! whenever I see you on my dash I get all happy bc I’m like “em’s here!!!” I love all your lil posts and I am so glad that you are my mutual ilyyyyy💙🤍

@ironymane you’ve watched limitless which automatically makes you amazing. you’re an absolutely incredible and amazing person and even tho you aren’t on here as much anymore, I still love youre lil posts. And one time you kept me entertained on a 6hr car ride so you deserve some kind of award for that. ly🧡💛

@kingarthurpendragons okay the obvious thing to talk about here is your incredible talent when it comes to gif making. Like how in the hell- but you are also so kind and loving and it doesn’t go unnoticed. You don’t have to send nice asks but you do and ily for it mwah!!❤️💗

@engelkeijsers the skam nl stan that we all deserve to have in our lives. you are so fucking hilarious and relatable and all around amazing and for what? your posts always put a smile on my face and it is so much fun to clown with you. ilyyyy💚💛

@happiness-isin-you let’s ignore the fact that it took me forever to realize that this was your main lmao. your art is some of the most beautiful shit I’ve ever seen. like your style is so cool???? I could literally go on about this for hours don’t test me. the cute animal pictures are the absolute best and you’re always there for emotional support. Ilyyyyyyy💛❤️

@isakyaqi fiz you are so kind and talented and cool and I really do mean all that. You reblog always the best of content so I know I can trust it. you always put nice tags in the things you reblog things and it’s fun to read what you write because it’s almost always you hyping up the creator or the thing itself. you are awesome jdjdjdndjjd mwah🖤🤎

@cash-queens sam oh sam. Idek where to start with how much ily. You’re my famous mutual which is very iconic of you and you put up with my cat pictures and my silly antics and my riverdale posts. You’re so kind to me and everybody and whenever I make a post when I’m having a mental breakdown you’re always there to make sure that I’m doing okay. That def doesn’t go unappreciated. You’re legitimately one of the kindest and most amazing people I’ve ever known and I love you so much, more than you could ever know💛🤍

@welcometo-saturn çağrı you’re so cool. end of statement. that’s all I have to say about it. your gifs are so beautiful and you don’t take shit from anybody. you’re so down to earth that it makes it seem like you’re somebody who I’ve just always known (even tho we’ve never talked sjdjdjdjdj) so yeah anyway, you’re are a really awesome person with really good opinions and I am so glad that we are mutuals🧡❤️

@amifeelingokay it’s difficult not to start with your url bc it’s amazing and I love it. your skam posts are always so nice and cute and positive (just like you!!) and I love them. the content you reblog is always aesthetic or a nice text post and I just love your blog okay. ily💜🖤

@isthatelpome you’re so nice that I’m willing to overlook your opinion on salt and vinegar chips (they’re not good I’ll fight you on that) your dani icon is beautiful just as you are, mwahhhh🧡❤️

@earthling-isa babe you are so cute with your lil edits and your clowning. the near constant black and white aesthetic is very iconic and i love it. you’re a suus stan so I have no choice but to love you for it. i absolutely adore your gifs, especially the ones with the lil squares in the middle fygzbgut. you are absolutely beautiful and incredible and kind and I love you MWAHHHH🖤💙

@grey-mist-exist okay we’ve never talked but you seem like such a rad person. not cool but like rad (there are are subtle differences) your art is beautiful even tho idk the quotes (go off smarty pants) and overall you are just really rad, idk how else to say it mwah!!!🤍🖤<pretend it’s a grey heart

@fatoudixon hey look it’s one of the most talented people here!!! You’ve always been so kind and supportive of me and I really really do appreciate it. you have good opinions on everything and did I mention that you’re talented?? cause you are, very. Your reaction videos are amazing and not to mention iconic, just like your hair. anyway, ily and I am so glad that I have somebody as amazing as you as my mutual💙💛

@sander-klaas you are so kind and and you have so much passion. I can always trust you reblog only the best of wtfock and sobbe content which I am very grateful for. you literally just started making gifs and they are so beautiful (okay it was like months ago but whatever dkdjdjjdjdj) anyway, thank you so much for being my mutual mwah❤️💛

@jusdekiwi okay we’ve never talked but you genuinely seem like such a sweet person??? I love the stuff you reblog, it’s always the best gif sets. idk I can just tell you have good taste. I hope to get to know you better in the future, but for now I am very grateful to have you💚💙

@kritiquer my twin!!! you and I have a lot in common so ofc I love you. I’m joking obviously.... anygays you are always so supportive of everybody and you are so sweet. I love all of your personal posts, it always makes me really happy to see what you’re up to and how you’re feeling. I also like the aesthetic stuff you reblog, I have bad taste in all that, clearly you don’t. I am so glad that we started talking and I hope that we continue! ily kit!!!!💜🤍

@bleachblondebitches you aren’t on here that much, but whenever you are I get so happy! Your gifs are beautiful and I think about your sobbe and booksmart parallels gifset every day. you have amazing taste in movies and I love you!💜💙

@lesbeanfatou clara!!! bitch!!!! You already know how much I love you but I guess I’ll reiterate. I honestly don’t know what I did before I knew you. I always remember looking at the no idea blog with the Nora icons like “who is this?” Little did I know back then that you would be one of my closest friends. your support of me means the world and I am so grateful for you. I’m so glad that I have somebody in my life like you to talk to and be friends with. you are one of the funniest people in and I just love you so much I could burst mwah❤️🧡

@gucciboner okay hiii ypu are literally so fucking kind and funny, i admire your sense of humor sm. your art is so beautiful and you are so goddamn talented, it never ceases to amaze me. I also love all the little funny posts you make and reblog!! ily💙💗

@helmtaryn even though you put supernatural on my dash, I am willing to forgive you bc I love you so much. your gifs are so beautiful like ma’am didn’t you just start?? icon shit. your hate for photoshop is iconic and you are awesome. you’re always sending me asks and responding to my posts and you’re so nice and it makes my heart go whooosh. anygays you’re cool and ily💙🧡

@starmansander nina when I tell you that you give off the best vibes- okay sorry I had to start with that. I love how you are so nice and supportive of me, it really means a lot. I really like the stuff you reblog like,,, cool art? pretty women? those hopeful little posts? iconic. also youre a noor stan which is a sign of good taste. love you🤎❤️

@ijzermanora daniiiiiii madam you are so epic and iconic and I really could go on about that forever. you are so kind and you’re following all my joke sideblogs (even the ch*cken l*ttle hate blog??? why???) which is very brave of you. I love reading all of your lil wholesome posts and hearing about school and how much you hate chemistry (even tho you like sushi???) anygays we were already sending memes 10 hours into our mutualship so I think we were soulmates from the very beginning. I love you so much and I have no idea what I did before i knew you💜💗

@alwaysin-myhead okay, you give off cool person vibes and I had to acknowledge that. your art is so beautiful and you are so incredibly talented!!! I hope to get to know you in the future🧡💛

@alexiaugustin here she is!!! the queen of good opinions!!! you are such a smart cookie and you use that power to make long paragraph posts that I can actually read without falling asleep. which is impressive honestly. never has a person been so kind and funny and genius in such a well rounded way (that makes no sense) I’m so happy that I have you in my life ilyyy💚💗

@ijntba hihi you’re such a sweet person and I literally love your skam blog sm. I am so honored that you’re using one of my icons you have no idea. even though I’m confused when you post about anime, I still appreciate your passion lmao. mwah💛🧡

@hidden-joy liz!! you are such a kind soul and I absolutely love looking at the things you reblog and reading all the nice things that you put in the tags, it’s always so sweet and supportive!!! we’re relatively new mutuals, but I do hope to get to know you better in the future!!!💚💛

okay sorry to group y’all together but @fudgetunblr and @alexiswoke I like just became mutuals with y’all but I do love you and I’m glad you’re here and I hope 2021 treats you well and that i get to know you better!!❤️❤️

aaand one last final message for max and sarah, i know yall wont see this but ily🧡 💜

okay yeah I know I already said this but I really do love each and every one of you so much and I am so lucky to have so many amazing people in my life💕💕💓💕💖💖💕💘💕💗💞💓💕💖💖💘💕💓

#MWAH💕#my mutuals are pretty fuckin rad #also don’t tell anyone but the hearts at the end are the colors I associate you with #or they’re as close as I could get #*makes this post*#*goes back to sleep*

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talkfantasytome · 3 years

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Part of my attempt to re-post answers I've given, without the context of specific links to posts based on this feedback and advice.

Anon Ask: Linked me to a few posts about E\ain, her possible story, and the Fourth item of the Dread Trove. My thoughts on that item possibly being "unmade" and E\ain being able to "remade" them. Thought on how Koschei was preparing for Az, and how the item being cloaked in shadow could be a link to Az and the item. And how E\ain relates to the hounds of the Night Court, which were used by the Daglan. How the greeting the Book of Breathings gave Feyre in ACOMAF is actually foreshadowing E\ain and her connection there.

If I may, my first suggestion would be to block certain tags. That might help calm you. <3 I tend to avoid E\ain-Azriel theories, because they anger me at times. Especially ones like these where they try to take what some other character has and give it to E\ain. I'm seeing it all over the place and it's infuriating me. Not because I hate E\ain. No.

Because I actually want E\ain to be a good character.

And, I'm sorry, but giving E\ain other people's stories, powers, etc. that we've already seen is not making her a good character. It's making her a repeat.

So, let me start with this:

Nesta wasn't able to "unmade" Briallyn because she was made by the Cauldron. Nesta didn't create those made weapons because she was made by the Cauldron.

Those came from the power she TORE from the Cauldron, literally. Nesta had this "made" power because she TOOK it. E\ain did not take that power. E\ain was gifted the power to be a Seer because the Cauldron found her so lovely. And the Cauldron still found her lovely after it made her, which means she didn't steal anything from it at all.

So, any theory that has anything to do with E\ain having powers like what Nesta displayed are completely inaccurate and ignore the fact that Nesta's powers did not come from her being made but from what she took from the Cauldron.

Yes, E\ain might have a connection with made objects, she might be able to find them as Nesta did. But she would not be able to create them herself. Or "unmade" someone. (I really don't know if I can use the term unmake here. 😂) She may be able to wield the Dread Trove, but that's also a big MAYBE. And I say that not because I think E\ain isn't powerful or strong enough, but because no one really thought or talked about E\ain being able to wield them as Nesta did. Maybe it's because they just forget about her, or maybe it's because they're not sure she'd be able to considering her power is different.

IDK.

Basically, I don't believe that first concept can be right, because while maybe E\ain can wield the Dread Trove, she wouldn't be able to "made" or "unmade" objects. That, to the best of our knowledge, is a power that Nesta got in her blessed thievery.

And no, that's not a power the Cauldron would have just given E\ain, because that power was part of the essence of the Cauldron. In stealing that power, Nesta broke it a bit. So the Cauldron would have had to break itself to give that power to E\ain...which means Nesta would not have become Fae the way she did.

Also, for the record, Nesta didn't "unmade" Briallyn and then kill her. She killed her by "unmading" her. Because Nesta's power was DEATH. And that sure as hell ain't E\ain's.

That second argument, on the other hand, was just incredibly focused on Azriel incorrectly. I talked about that earlier. Because Koschei wasn't preparing for Az. They were laying the trap for Cassian. Why do you think Briallyn had been so silent for those months between Solstice and then? And even before then. Emerie's cousin was influenced by Briallyn by the second time Nesta met Emerie. They were laying that trap for well over half a year. THAT's what Koschei was talking about.

You can tell he was preparing for Cassian, because Cassian's the one he froze. It's not about Az. It just feels that way if you're so focused on one character you don't take the time to actually read and see what's happening in the book. While I'm all about critical reading, that also means taking the time to see if those questions are actually already answered in the book, and they are. But if you're only thinking about Az, you might miss the answers placed at your feet about Cassian and Nesta - the main characters of the book.

It is absolutely possible that Az has a tie in to the fourth item, some way. I think in one they suggested that maybe it was hidden by a shadowshinger, so a shadowsinger must find it. I could see it potentially happening. It could be how they tie the next book into the larger, Koschei plot, which is going to be an overarching plot in books 4 and 5 before becoming the main plot in book 6. Since we will be seeing more Valkyrie stuff, and likely more Illyrian stuff too. So, like, this could happen, but that would likely bring more Nesta in. She's the one that noticed there might be a fourth Trove item. Why would that plot point then go to E\ain? Other than to give E\ain another character's plot points and journey? And SJM's not going to do that. She's going to give E\ain her own arc, her own powers and plot.

As for using what the Book of Breathings said to Feyre as a foreshadowing of E\ain being able to become a fanged beast, that's almost going way too far with that stuff, considering the fact that I doubt Sarah had planned that far ahead with that much detail these later books when she was writing ACOMAF. I don't mean that in a way to degrade Sarah. It's just that she was focused on the original trilogy, and while she likely had ideas and thoughts about everyone's journeys, she did have to first and foremost focus on the books she was actually contracted for. She didn't have the contract for the next three yet when she was writing ACOMAF (I think?).

Also, and I've said this before, anything in ACOMAF that people claim is foreshadowing for Azriel and E\ain, isn't. When Sarah was writing ACOMAF she was still planning on Mor and Azriel being endgame. She made that change when she was writing ACOWAR. So, literally, nothing in ACOMAF foreshadows E\ain and Azriel, not purposefully. And, if it's not purposeful, it's not actually foreshadowing.

That being said, that's also not how I would interpret that message and, not going to lie, I could interpret it in a way that's likely a better prediction of E\ain and Az, not that I believe it is one because, again, it was done in ACOMAF. But, let me show you anyway:

“Life and death and rebirth. Sun and moon and dark. Rot and bloom and bones. Hello, sweet thing. Hello, lady of night, princess of decay. Hello, fanged beast and trembling fawn. Love me, touch me, sing me.” (ACOMAF - Chapter 57)

So, first of all, this is in Chapter 57. That's well before Nesta and E\ain became Fae. So, the book was only talking to Feyre. HOWEVER, you could argue that this line is actually foreshadowing what will happen to Nesta and E\ain:

Hello, lady of night, princess of decay. Hello, fanged beast and trembling fawn.

Think about it. Feyre is "Lady of night, princess of decay." That's clearly one person, as there's just a comma. In the next line it says "hello, fanged beast and trembling fawn". That could easily mean Nesta and E\ain. Fanged beast = Nesta. Trembling fawn = E\ain. It may not. BUT IT COULD. So this line literally could be foreshadowing that they are about the be made.

Now, IF I didn't know that SJM at that point was planning on Mor an Az to be endgame, I'd be more worried about the next line.

Love me, touch me, sing me.

Mind you, I don't think that the Book's words would be foreshadowing for endgame couples, either. But, if it was - love me = Feyre & Rhys. Touch me = Nesta & Cassian - I mean, think about how important touch is to both of them and in their relationship. Sing me, then, could mean E\ain's love interest, and obvs that would sound like Az.

Now, as I said, we know this isn't the case, cause at that point, Moriel was the plan. Also, more than that, the Book of Breathings is heavily linked to the Cauldron. So, even if it was doing that, it would be foreshadowing mates, not endgame (if there's a difference), because mates are determined by the Cauldron.

So, yeah, it's not doing that. But, like, is that not a fairly decent argument? (This is why my dad wanted me to be a lawyer. I'm pretty good at debating from either side. 😂)

And, even if no one fully believes me about any of that, then tell me this - how is it that multiple lines refer to E\ain, but nothing is referring to Nesta in that? This argument basically says that this greeting from the Book of Breathings is entirely E\ain foreshadowing. Before E\ain was even made Fae.

That doesn't make sense. Why would there be so much focus on E\ain at that point that it's foreshadowing stuff that Sarah may or may not have known yet, but none about Nesta? When both were turned Fae at the same time, and we ended up with Nesta's book first.

For now, I'm going to guess that, IF that quote was foreshadowing anything about the sisters, it was that they were going to be Made into Fae. But, in the end, that quote is focused on Feyre first. So the foreshadowing of them turning Fae makes sense. But that paragraph is not E\ain-centric, it's Feyre-centric.

Don't get me wrong. I do think the fact that E\ain is Made is important. And maybe she will end up being the one to find the fourth Trove item, but I'm not yet convinced. And I don't think the fact that it's in shadow means it has something to do with Az as much as, like Nesta suggested, it's just that it's been glamoured like the others.

One other thing, but I noticed there's also an argument that E\ain is obvious for book five because of her vision about Koschei's box. But, we know that Koschei, being the large, overarching plot, is going to come to a head in book 6. So why would that make E\ain book 5?

These arguments align E\ain so much with Koschei, and then say it means she's got book 5, but Koschei's end is book 6. Book 5, like with ACOSF, is going to have it's own plot, and Koschei is going to be tied into it as the larger, overarching plot. But there's nothing about what the main plot for an Az-E\ain book would be. Because, for E\ain, her plot will be heavily linked with Koschei.

We have to remember that Sarah has said all three books are "standalone" books. What that means is that, while there is an overarching plot (Koschei), each book will also have it's own plot, with a climax surrounding that plot. For Nesta, it was the Dread Trove and Briallyn. And Koschei was tied into it, to show he was pulling strings. That's what's going to happen with book 5. And then book 6, it'll be more of a Koschei centered plot.

If E\ain is book 5, then that's two Koschei centered plots, and book 5 and book 6 are not standalones. They are a duology.

Lastly, to talk about chapter 20 from ACOSF, which was briefly mentioned - the one where E\ain says she'll find the Trove. Some believe that scene was foreshadowing E\ain and Az. It wasn't. It may have been foreshadowing some involvement E\ain will have with the Trove. But that doesn't automatically mean it'll be E\ain and Az. It literally just means she could have involvement with it.

However, considering the timing of that scene, being the literal day after that fight E\ain and Nesta had, where Nesta basically pointed out how E\ain dos nothing, I think that that scene was also a sign of who E\ain truly is.

Because E\ain didn't do shit about the Trove. She offered and then did nothing. My guess: because she didn't actually want to do something. All she wanted to do was prove Nesta wrong. Be like "look, see, I'm doing more, I'm better than you". E\ain started to show some true colors in ACOSF, and they're not all sunshine and flowers and rainbows.

However, in the end, I'm not saying anyone is wrong about E\ain and the fourth Dread Trove object. I hope they are, because I truly hope that E\ain will get her own stuff and her own plot. But E\ain and Nesta are not the same, and that's VERY important to remember. E\ain cannot create Made objects, she can not "Unmade" someone or something. Because that's something that came from Nesta stealing the Cauldron's power. And, on top of that, even if E\ain does get the fourth Dread Trove item, that doesn't automatically mean it's an Az-E\ain book. There's actually no reason to believe that. And, remember, any time you see an argument that there's Az-E\ain foreshadowing in ACOMAF, you'll know they're wrong, because at that point Sarah had a different endgame in mind, and she had that endgame in mind until after she finished writing that book. :)

That being said, I'm still thinking that E\ain is getting Swan Lake/Vasilisa the Beautiful.

I very much hope that calmed you. Sorry it's long. I'm glad to hear you consider me not in the middle of the ship war. I very much try not to be, though I'm sure these posts may not fully be helping. LOL. But I do stay out of other people's posts, and I try to consider everything outside of the relationships as well.

#ask box #acotar thoughts #antielriel #anti elriel #elain archeron

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severetimetravelnerd · 4 years

Text

Let’s go home (ft. Hanbin)

When Hanbin makes both his and your worst fears come true.

(I don’t own any of the images used. All credit goes to the original owners.)

Taglist:

@unabashedturkeytreeslime

@happiestgirlontheeastcoast

@kwonnansi

Word count : 2931

If there is anyone else who would like to be tagged, you can comment or leave me a message :))

I only write on this blog on tumblr, so if you see my work on any other platform, please let me know immediately.

Hey guys, I know I haven’t been writing much and I ‘m sorry :(( I just have a lot on my plate right now. But thank you to the anon who sent me that message asking whether I was okay cause I think that motivated me to write this :) I hope I’ll be able to write more soon, so yeah :) Enjoy!

Warnings: Angst, cursing.

————————————————————————–

You hugged yourself a little tighter, grateful for the warmth of Hanbin’s sweater. You had just stepped out of your apartment to go drop off some food for him. Hanbin was working on an album, and had basically locked himself up in the studio. You only saw these glimpses of him whenever you went to drop off stuff for him, and although you really missed him, it was okay. You knew how important the album was to him. You knew that he cared about you and once the album was out, things would go back to normal again. And so, although you missed him, you made do with wearing his clothes and looking through old pictures instead of interrupting his work. Today was just one of those days you had decided to give in to your cravings and go see him, even if it was just for ten minutes.

You reached the building, and as you made your way down the hallways to his studio, you let your mind wander into thinking about your relationship. You were happy. The two of you had only been dating six months, but Hanbin made you feel so comfortable and secure that it felt like much more. You trusted him with your all. You loved him and you were so grateful that he was in your life. Lost in thought, you didn’t realise you were standing in front of the door to his studio. You only snapped out of it when you heard Jinhwan’s teasing voice.

“So Hanbin, how are things going with Y/N? Any plans on moving in?”

You smiled, a little nervous for his answer, because you were planning on talking to him about him living with you. Hanbin remained silent. You knew how awkward he could be and your heart swelled at the thought of Hanbin going adorably red, but just when you were about to walk in, you heard Hanbin start to talk. In the most detached, bored tone you had ever heard him speak in, he began.

“Hyung, that’s not how things are between us. We’ll probably end up breaking up soon.”

You felt your heart stop. Were the two of you on different pages about the relationship right from the start? You were thinking of moving in together while he was thinking of breaking up. But why? You thought he was happy with you. Things just weren’t making sense. He continued and you listened to him, heart sinking further with every word.

“I’m just dating her for the sake of dating someone, not because I genuinely like her. It just doesn’t feel right.”

His voice had a weird quality to it you didn’t recognise, but then again, that wasn’t surprising. This entire side of Hanbin wasn’t something you recognised. Jinhwan sounded unsure about things.

“Hanbin? Are you sure? The two of you seemed so happy.”

With that same weird quality in his voice, Hanbin responded.

“That’s how it was in the beginning hyung. Things have changed.”

And with that, you were done. You didn’t want to hear anymore. Every single bit of trust, comfort and security you had in your relationship was gone; completely shattered. You couldn’t believe Hanbin would lie to you like that. You hated how foolish he made you feel. You were in love with him and he didn’t even like you. You hated how you didn’t notice any signs of this earlier. You hated how happy you were in the relationship while he must have been looking at you like you were a fool. But most of all, you hated the fact that the Hanbin you knew and fell in love with was gone. You felt so desperately alone. All you wanted was to crawl into his arms and cuddle until things got better, but you couldn’t stand the sight of him. You walked back home in a daze, trying to wrap your head around everything you heard Hanbin say.

Curled up in bed, you stared down at your phone, wondering whether to call Hanbin. You needed to end things. You couldn’t put up with this farce anymore. But you were also angry. Extremely angry at the way he lied to you and made a mockery of your relationship. You threw your phone aside, deciding that you wanted to hear him say those things to your face. You deserved an explanation.

That same night, Hanbin pushed his chair back and stared at his phone, willing for you to text him. You usually checked in on him every evening to see whether he was okay or he needed something. He needed to talk to you. The guilt of having said all those terrible things was eating away at him. Hanbin never wanted to break up, and he loved you from the bottom of his heart, not simply dating you for the sake of dating someone, but the boys had been teasing him a lot, and when Jinhwan hyung teased him, it was the final straw. In that irritation, he said a whole lot of stuff he didn’t mean, and broke down the moment Jinhwan left the studio. God, how could he say those things? He had no idea you heard him, but the guilt was eating him alive. He was just nervously waiting for you to text him first, as usual, so that he could call and apologise. But your text never came.

Hanbin waited, jumping to check his phone with every notification, but it was never you. He had a bad feeling about it, but he didn’t have it in him to text you first so, he comforted himself by thinking that you must be busy. He was sure you’d text the next day. You didn’t. And no matter how much he waited, you didn’t text him for the following days either. Hanbin knew something was wrong, and he was worried sick about you, he never imagined that you heard his horrible words. Every time he tried calling, it just felt wrong to explain that over the phone, and so, Hanbin waited desperately until he was done with his studio work to head to your apartment.

You were done. You didn’t want to have anything of his in your apartment. Your happy space was filled with pictures of the two of you. In a day’s time, it all changed. You took down all the photos and threw them into a box. He had left a lot of his clothes at your apartment. All of those went into the box as well. You stared down at your phone. It needed to change too, and so, although it broke your heart to do so, you changed your wallpaper and lockscreen to random quotes instead of the pictures you had taken with him when you went camping. The only thing you couldn’t bring yourself to change was his contact details. It was a simple ‘Hanbin♥️’, but somehow, you couldn’t remove that. It would really be over then.

When you heard the doorbell ring, you didn’t think much of it. It must have been the pizza you ordered. Which is why you were shocked to see a very sad looking Hanbin standing outside your door. He didn’t know what to do, so he tried to keep up the semblance of normality. Struggling to put a light smile on his face, he asked,

“When did you change the passcode?”

You just shrugged. You had changed it that very day. It used to be his birthday. Now, it was your sister’s.

He looked around once he sat down on the couch with you. Something was definitely wrong. And he couldn’t quite put his finger on why the apartment looked different. He turned to look at you, sitting at the other end of the couch, keeping a solid distance from him, refusing to even look at his face. Still desperately trying to cling on to the semblance of normalcy, he smiled and said,

“Come a little closer Y/N. Why so far away?”

You didn’t respond. You were beginning to fume thinking about how he dared to ask you that. Choosing not to address you ignoring him, he continued.

“Y/N, have you done something with your place? Things look a little different now.”

You turned to stare at him incredulously. He didn’t even realise that you removed all pictures with him? You couldn’t help the scoff that left your mouth. Watching you, Hanbin grew increasingly nervous. He didn’t know what went wrong, but it was as though the world was punishing him for saying that crap in the first place. Sounding nervous, he said,

“Y/N, is everything okay?”

You ignored him. Hanbin felt a sort of panic building up in him. He was about to ask you again when your phone buzzed from a notification. You simply picked it up and typed out your response, but Hanbin was left shaking. When he saw your new lockscreen, all of a sudden, he realised what was different in your apartment. You had changed your lockscreen. It wasn’t that picture with him anymore. He looked around. All the pictures the two of you had so happily put up were gone. Hanbin couldn’t take it anymore.

It was also tougher for you to take it, because you could see Hanbin slowly realise what had changed. You knew he didn’t know why, and you didn’t regret your decision or the way you were feeling at all, but you did feel pain at seeing him so hurt and confused. You turned away, not wanting to risk changing your mind about Hanbin, when you felt him get up from the couch. You still refused to turn. You only looked back at him in surprise when you felt his wet cheeks on your lap. Out of pure shock, you spoke.

“What are you doing Hanbin?”

“Y/N, are you breaking up with me?”

You looked down at the sobbing man in your lap, your gut wrenching a little before tightening your lips.

“Yes, I am.”

Hanbin looked up at you, confused and hurt, and something in you just snapped. You turned away, your voice sounding like a whip.

“You don’t fucking get to look at me like that.”

The look of confusion on his face just hurt you even more. How dare he try and act confused after everything? He, poor soul, had no idea why you wanted to break up with him. He sobbed even harder and wrapped his arms around your waist, crying into your lap.

“No, Y/N, please. I love you.”

You couldn’t keep the bitterness from your voice when you scoffed and said,

“I thought this is what you wanted Hanbin. Why’re you so upset now?”

Hanbin froze, slowly letting everything click in his head. Still crying, albeit silently, he got up from his knees and sat beside you. Trying desperately to keep his voice calm, he said,

“Y/N, look at me.”

You refused to, knowing that your strong façade would just crumble.

“Y/N, please!”

His voice had an urgent, desperate quality to it that made you turn towards him. He looked broken, so utterly lost and devastated. His voice was soft when he spoke.

“Y/N, I’m sorry. Look at me. Do I look like I want to break up? I didn’t mean a thing I said that day, and I am so sorry for saying it. I was sorry for saying it before I knew you heard me, and I’m still sorry for that. I’m sorry for putting you through this kind of pain. You don’t deserve it. I’m so sorry, and I hate myself for saying what I said.”

He paused, voice shaky. He looked at your face with the tears streaming down and felt even worse.

��Y/N, I love you. I love the way your nose scrunches up when you’re confused. I love the way your eyes crinkle when you smile. I love the way you think and always challenge yourself. I love every part of you, and I hate myself for saying that I didn’t actually like you. I hate myself for saying that we were going to break up because even as I said it, I realised that was my greatest fear. Y/N, I know I’m a flawed man. I know that you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I should never have treated our relationship and you like that.”

Your voice was a faint, hoarse whisper when you said,

“Why? Why’d you say it Hanbin?”

He couldn’t look you in the eye when he replied.

“I said it because I was upset with hyung for teasing me about you.”

You just looked very drained when you responded.

“So, you jeopardised our relationship and hurt me because of that?”

Hanbin didn’t have an answer to that. You sighed, gently wiping away your tears with the back of your hand.

“Hanbin, it’s nice to know I wasn’t the only one invested in this relationship, but clearly, I am more invested. You risked our relationship over something like this. I don’t think I can take that again.”

Hanbin’s heart dropped when he saw you turn towards him and say,

“Let’s break up.”

Hanbin couldn’t comprehend it. He held your hand, begging you.

“Y/N please. I promise that you will never have to take something like this again. I will never, ever do something like this. Just please, don’t do this. We both love each other!”

This time, it was your turn as you refused to look at him when you said,

“Hanbin, all your things are in the box over there.”

His hand went slack. He slowly got up to go get it, but he paused before leaving. His voice was weak but determined.

“Y/N, I’m sorry. And I will keep trying to get us back.”

And he left, leaving you to break down after he was gone.

One month later, and things weren’t any easier for you. God, you hated to admit it but you missed him. So much. He called everyday for the first two weeks, and texted too, but after that, it died down. Like you knew it would. If he was serious about the relationship, he would never have said something like that in the first place. You refused to give in and call him, no matter how lonely you were, opting instead to just cry yourself to sleep. Which is why you were surprised when he called you after having said nothing for a month. And you were even more surprised by how you answered it. Maybe it was a moment of weakness. Maybe it was because you missed him. Or maybe because it was three in the morning and you were worried about him. Hesitant, you answered.

“Hello?”

You never felt more worried than when you heard a strange man’s voice reply. What happened to Hanbin? You felt your heart quicken. God, please let him be okay. Before you could say anything, the man on the phone began speaking.

“Excuse me Ms, you’re listed as his emergency contact, which is why I called you. This is Ms. Y/N, right?”

Emergency contact? No. Fuck no. You closed your eyes, praying as you replied,

“Yes, that’s me. Is Hanbin okay?”

The guy must have heard the panic in your voice because he suddenly seemed very flustered.

“Yes, he’s fine. Man, I’m an idiot. I shouldn’t have led with emergency contact. He’s fine, he’s just passed out from drinking too much.”

You felt like you were able to breathe again.

“Yes, please lead with that next time!!”

The bartender gave you his address and you left to go pick up Hanbin.

It was a long drive and it gave you time with your thoughts. It had been nearly two months. And you still worried about him like this. You still texted Jinhwan weekly to check in on Hanbin. And you were worried with good reason. Hanbin never used to drink this much. Was it worth it? Was staying away from Hanbin worth it? Would Hanbin hurt you again? You thought about things for a while. You didn’t know what you were going to do, but you knew you had to get Hanbin home. You finally reached the obscure bar he was drinking at and walked in. It was closed and one harassed looking bartender was cleaning up the bar when he saw you and suddenly looked visibly relieved.

“Oh Y/N! Good that you’re here. He’s been crying in his sleep, and I don’t know what to do about that.”

Your worry skyrocketed. He was crying in his sleep? You hated that thought. You let the bartender point you towards the bundled heap in the corner that was Hanbin, shaking from the occasional sob. As you got closer, you realised he was saying something.

“Y/N, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please come back.”

You melted. You never wanted him to get to this stage. You thought he would move on. You heard Leo, the bartender remark,

“You know, he’s been doing that everyday for a while now.”

And with that, you were gone. You had both missed each other enough. You went up to him, gently brushing the hair off his face. He stirred.

“Y/N? Please be Y/N.”

And he whimpered.

“Oh Hanbin.”

His eyes scrunched before moving towards you.

“Y/N, can we go home now? I miss you.”

You teared up a little, placing a light kiss against his forehead before saying,

“Yes, Hanbin. Let’s go home.”

Leo locked the door after the two of you left, jokingly muttering to himself.

“I’m the real hero here, just saying.”

#kpop scenarios #hanbin scenarios #kpop angst #hanbin angst #ikon scenarios #hanbin #kpop #angst #scenarios #when he hurts your feelings

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