#also the lady at barnes and noble was so sweet and treated me like a kid when I look older than my age!

[dark-twist-fairytales]

I'm being so serious right now: I own all of the ninjago ninja minfigs and Kai's head is the largest-

[morwensteelsheen]

so @tinacharles and I have sort of been having this conversation about the varying levels of culpability of all the men in Éowyn’s life re: her abject fucking misery, which got me to thinking about how that discussion would play out in-universe.

I know it’s pretty popular (and not incorrectly so, imo!) to have Éomer being fairly distrustful of Faramir, but I think it's underplayed just how much ammunition Faramir has to be out-and-out fucked off with Éomer on Éowyn's behalf.

Part of that understatement is a desire, I reckon, to see all the named Rohirrim as basically innocents, manipulated beyond aid by Wormtongue, and functionally helpless until Gandalf and the Three Hunters show up, but that's a take that is, imo, too reliant upon what we get in the movie canon and not reliant enough on what's actually written in the text! The point of Théoden's downfall is that it is his pride and his hubris (and not any magic!) that is his undoing, and it is Gandalf's reminders that his responsibilities are greater than the weight of the injuries to his pride that "brings him back" so to speak. The ability to stop fucking around exists at all moments within Théoden, there is no magic, no great battles, not valiant rescues involved, it's just about him putting his big girl panties on and dealing with his own life. But because there's a tendency to see too much of the movie canon in these characters, their relative culpability in Éowyn's immiseration is largely erased, which is incredibly unfair both in terms of treating these characters with the nuance they deserve, but also in terms of treating Éowyn's misery with the seriousness it deserves!

And a key element of this is Éomer's complacency/culpability in all of this. I often quote the conversation between Gandalf, Aragorn, and Éomer after the Pelennor about Éowyn's ~fundamental unknowability~, but I think it is, uhhh, pretty fucked up that Aragorn, Faramir, and Gandalf are all able to spot out Éowyn's deeply destroyed mental health within minutes of coming into contact with her (and yes, it is true enough that they're all powered-up slightly by magic-ish things) while Éomer, who has spent literally his entire life around her, doesn't really have an inkling of what's actually going on in her interior life. That's really upsetting to me, and is no doubt deeply upsetting and isolating for Éowyn, who has basically no other people in her life until Faramir shows up (you know, after she literally tries to kill herself!).

More than that, when Gandalf and the Three Hunters show up and immediately break Théoden free of his pity party, we don't get a sense that undermining Wormtongue has any actual political repercussions—Hama (👑) immediately names Éowyn as the favoured heir to the throne, which says that she's got a substantial amount of organic support where and when it matters. Yes, it's true they immediately have to go fight Saruman's forces in Helm's Deep, but Helm's Deep is a pretty unique battle in the books for how "small" it is in terms of coalitions: the Rohirrim fight that sucker almost entirely unaided! So if a consequence of unseating Wormtongue had been facing down Saruman's lot on the battlefield (assuming that he would have been prepared to do so at any point before the canonical Battle of the Hornburg), we know that the Rohirrim could have handled it, and what's more, they might have been in an even better position to have handled it, because Théodred would have likely still been alive, alongside however many men they lost at the Battle of the Fords of Isen. A lot of words to say: there's really no indication that there was a danger, per se, to beating Wormtongue's ass down; but we do know that there was some obstacle. Tolkien goes pretty far out of his way to hint that it's a lack of will that's doing most of the work there. As readers, I think we're all mostly content to ignore this element of Éomer's complacency because we do largely see Éomer at his best and most noble, but I think we do a real disservice to both his and Éowyn's characters for not dealing with that more intimately.

Anyways, my original point is that I think Faramir has really good reason to be quite grumpy with Éomer and I think he'd actually probably be supported in that frustration by Éowyn, who would almost certainly be pretty chuffed to finally have someone fighting her corner after so many years. I don't know exactly how Faramir's frustration would manifest—almost certainly not with the level of vitriol and overtness that his frustration with his father manifested itself, but I do think he would be very good at making sure that Éomer is keenly aware that Faramir is Unhappy about his actions/lack thereof. That, I think, adds a really interesting dynamic not just to Éowyn and Faramir's personal life, particularly as they're off starting their lives together, but also their political life, given that Éomer is the new King of the Riddermark, shown to be exceptionally close with both Aragorn and Imrahil, and, of course, is later married to Faramir's cousin—some of Faramir's last living family.

Edit: just picked up the books to double check some stuff so adding cites beneath the cut

On Théoden's 'malady':

"the influence over him that Gríma gained when the King's health began to fail. This occurred early in the year 3014, when Théoden was sixty-six; his malady may thus have been due to natural causes, though the Rohirrim commonly lived till near or beyond their eightieth year. But it may well have been induced or increased by subtle poisons, administered by Gríma. In any case Théoden's sense of weakness and dependence on Gríma was largely due to the cunning and skills of this evil counsellor's suggestions."

From Unfinished Tales, V. The Battles of the Fords of Isen.

On Éomer Missing The Fucking Point:

"But Aragorn came to Éowyn, and he said: ‘Here there is a grievous hurt and a heavy blow. The arm that was broken has been tended with due skill, and it will mend in time, if she has the strength to live: It is the shield-arm that is maimed; but the chief evil comes through the sword-arm. In that there now seems no life, although it is unbroken.

‘Alas! For she was pitted against a foe beyond the strength of her mind or body. And those who will take a weapon to such an enemy must be sterner than steel, if the very shock shall not destroy them. It was an evil doom that set her in his path. For she is a fair maiden, fairest lady of a house of queens. And yet I know not how I should speak of her. When I first looked on her and perceived her unhappiness, it seemed to me that I saw a white flower standing straight and proud, shapely as a lily, and yet knew that it was hard, as if wrought by elf-wrights out of steel. Or was it, maybe, a frost that had turned its sap to ice, and so it stood, bitter-sweet, still fair to see, but stricken, soon to fall and die? Her malady begins far back before this day, does it not, Éomer?’

‘I marvel that you should ask me, lord,’ he answered. ‘For I hold you blameless in this matter, as in all else; yet I knew not that Éowyn, my sister, was touched by any frost, until she first looked on you. Care and dread she had, and shared with me, in the days of Wormtongue and the king’s bewitchment; and she tended the king in growing fear. But that did not bring her to this pass!’

‘My friend,’ said Gandalf, ‘you had horses, and deeds of arms, and the free fields; but she, born in the body of a maid, had a spirit and courage at least the match of yours. Yet she was doomed to wait upon an old man, whom she loved as a father, and watch him falling into a mean dishonoured dotage; and her part seemed to her more ignoble than that of the staff he leaned on.

‘Think you that Wormtongue had poison only for Théoden’s ears? Dotard! What is the house of Eorl but a thatched barn where brigands drink in the reek, and their brats roll on the floor among their dogs? Have you not heard those words before? Saruman spoke them, the teacher of Wormtongue. Though I do not doubt that Wormtongue at home wrapped their meaning in terms more cunning. My lord, if your sister’s love for you, and her will still bent to her duty, had not restrained her lips; you might have heard even such things as these escape them. But who knows what she spoke to the darkness, alone, in the bitter watches of the night, when all her life seemed shrinking, and the walls of her bower closing in about her, a hutch to trammel some wild thing in?’

Then Éomer was silent, and looked on his sister, as if pondering anew all the days of their past life together."

From Return of the King, VIII The House of Healing

[plus-size-reader]

Lightweight

Natasha Romanoff x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 1475 words

Warnings: alcohol?

Summary: Natasha has the sweetest, most lightweight gf who gets a little too enthusiastic about Thor's liquor

I really love the HC where Bucky and Nat are really close, and used that a lot in this one. It just makes me happy. 

——————————————————————————————————

To say that you weren’t what people expected when they thought about Natasha’s partner was an understatement.

The two of you couldn't have been more different, but she always said that was why you worked so well together. Where she was a bit rough around the edges and aggressive, you couldn't have been softer. While she was a literal assassin, you taught kindergarten in a small school downtown.

Really, there was no reason for anyone to think the two of you would have ever crossed paths.

...and maybe they wouldn't have, if it hadn't been for the party.

It was no secret that Natasha wasn’t super vocal about her private life, and that didn’t really change much when it came to you. While she didn’t hide you away, or pretend that you weren’t part of her life, she just didn’t believe in oversharing in the way certain other avengers did.

She was private.

She always had been, and it seemed easier to keep those sorts of things to herself, even when they made her as happy as you did. Maybe it was because she was paranoid, and worried for your safety, or being selfish and keeping you to yourself.

In any case, it was fine for a while, but over several months, you two got more and more close, and keeping you away from the Avengers wasn’t an option.

They were her family, and she wanted you to feel close to them. She wanted you to be able to get to know them and vise versa, that way maybe Steve would stop trying to set her up with all kinds of random people.

Admittedly though, this wasn't what Nat had in mind when she suggested that you come with her to the party Tony was throwing.

Speaking of, at the moment, you were standing on the table in Tony Stark’s apartment, surrounded by all her friends, dancing like a maniac and carrying on. It was quite a scene, but no one was really surprised.

If there was one thing that they had picked up on in the last few hours of the event, it was that you were very clearly a lightweight.

From the moment you walked in the door, they all knew that you had no place in this world, in Natasha’s world. You had sensible shoes on, and not a hair was out of place. As far as the Avengers were concerned, you'd wandered in from the street, searching for the Barnes and Noble.

Anything would have made more sense than you actually showing up here on purpose.

Though, when you walked through the door hand-in-hand shortly after a very dolled up Natasha, everything sort of snapped into place for them. She had been talking cryptically about a new partner she was seeing for quite some time.

The pieces fell into place organically from there.

You entered slowly, surveying the place with quick eyes darting back and forth. It was like you were going to miss something if you weren't careful. It wasn't until you laid eyes on Clint that you visibly relaxed.

A second friendly face made it a little easier to not have to cling to your girlfriend all night long.

Luckily, the cocktails came pretty quickly after you did and that helped you loosen up even more. "Who's carrying Y/N to the car tonight?" Clint laughed, tossing an arm around your shoulder, making it clear he was joking with you.

The others laughed as well, though they didn't know that the man was drawing from personal experience. The first time you three got together and had dinner, you drank a glass of wine and nearly had to be carried out to the car.

It was funny looking back, though in the moment, you had been so sick that you slightly winced at the memory.

He often joked that getting you drunk was like giving a baby a lemon for the first time, except there was no limit to how many times they could get a laugh out of it. That was about the time that Thor brought out a special treat, something he had been waiting to share for quite some time in hopes that it would provide some much needed entertainment.

Though, this was much better than he could have even expected.

Somewhere along the line, the music had gotten turned all the way up and was blaring through the speakers while you danced, without a care in the world.

You couldn’t even handle regular beer and wine, with hard liquor being out of the question. It only followed that something out of this realm was going to be much harder to handle.

“You-” you slurred, somehow trying to scream over the music. Everyone else was remaining rather calm, all things considered, just watching the situation unfold. Steve and Bucky were still as sober as can be, with Thor, Banner, and Tony hardly feeling anything.

They didn't seem to even bat an eye as you made a fool out of yourself, finding the entire exchange endearing if nothing else.

However, Nat, who you were now pointing out, was anything but calm. All she could think about was you tripping and falling off that table, or getting hurt in some other way. Even if you didn’t somehow break your neck, she knew you would have a killer hangover tomorrow.

“You, are so beautiful” you stammered, finishing your sentence which was a miracle at this point. Your had been stuttering and blanking through several songs that she knew you knew by heart, which was usually when she cut you off.

It was sweet, sure, but she could hardly even react before the laughs set in.

“Awe, you hear that ‘tasha” Barton grinned, gesturing up at you with the tail end of his beer, which he had been nursing for the last hour. He had never been much of a drinker, especially not since having kids.

He was just soaking it all in.

"You hush, I love her so much" you tutted, earning another gaggle of laughs from the surrounding group. You didn’t care that she was a killer, or that she had a past more blood soaked than anyone else's you'd ever known.

All you cared about was her, and the way that she made you feel. You knew that she was no threat to you, or anyone else, as far as you were concerned.

Natasha couldn't hurt a fly, at least when you were in her presence. You really thought that she was a good person, and knowing that made her feel like less of the monster she'd come to believe she was in recent years.

You believed in her, and that was enough for her.

Still, that sort of loving, reassuring was hard to focus on while you were fighting with the buttons of your blouse. "Okay sweetheart, let's get you down" Bucky suggested, shooting the redhead a glance for permission which she gave gratefully before he helped you down from the table.

He never would have touched you without some kind of allowance but he had been around enough intoxicated young ladies to know that nothing good ever came after they started stripping.

The large man lifted you from the table without any problem at all, making you gasp before erupting into a fit of giggles. "Hey, get your hands off me you big teddy bear, I'm taken" you grinned, clearly amused with yourself.

Bucky said nothing, only setting you down on the couch where he'd been sitting a few seconds ago. Perhaps out of second nature, he headed toward the front door to get your shoes, just like he'd done for Steve all those years ago.

Believe it or not, he had never been able to hold his liquor either, and Buck had spent a number of nights scooping his little buddy up of the floor and cleaning vomit out of his car. Seeing you in a similar state just triggered some old instinct in him.

"You need help getting her home?" Tony asked finally, talking to Natasha. Even if he had asked you, you weren't paying him any mind. You were too busy admiring Steve's blue eyes for anything like that.

The redhead only smiled in thanks before shaking her head. "No, I've got this." she smiled, making it clear to the rest of the group that this also wasn't her first time dealing with this from you.

"Let me know when you get home, and don't forget the water and aspirin" Bucky suggested, giving Nat a sideways hug before handing her your shoes. She smiled in thanks again, gathering herself while you muttered your goodbyes to all your new 'best friends'.

"Good to meet you sweetheart" Bucky hummed, helping you into your shoes while Natasha said goodbye to Clint and the others, thanking them for a great evening. Right now, you were on cloud nine with no signs of ever coming down, but they all knew you would be in a world of hurt in the morning.

[camillemontespan]

suitor no. 6 [interview with camille montespan]

@moonlightgem7 @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore​ @burnsoslow​ @pug-bitch​ @jovialyouthmusic​ @ibldw-main​ @emichelle​ @sirbeepsalot​ @saivilo​ @notoriouscs​ @katedrakeohd​ @mskaneko​ @gardeningourmet​  @dcbbw​ @of-course-i-went-to-hartfeld​ @sawyeroakleyscowboyhat​

 Knot Magazine has launched its series to shadow each of the suitors competing for the Prince's hand in marriage. Last week, we followed Lady Hana who showed us how to master embroidery and play the piano. The week before, we were taught basic French, Italian and Spanish by Lady Kiara.

Which brings me to ask what our last suitor can teach us. For this issue, we introduce Camille Montespan.

Miss Camille Montespan. Not a Lady. Not a Countess. Just Miss.

In case you have been living under a rock this past month, Camille Montespan was found in New York and brought back to Cordonia to compete against the best of Cordonia's noble ladies for Prince Liam's hand in marriage. She is being sponsored by House Beaumont, which in itself is a huge deal and shows that of Bertrand Beaumont has faith in Camille, then surely she is the true winner.

Camille bursts out laughing at this assumption. 'Oh honey,' she says, wiping tears away. 'Bertrand Beaumont has no faith in me at all.'

... If this was a documentary, the sound of crickets would be played right now. 

                                                ********

Camille is 27 years old and a native New Yorker. She was raised by her grandmother and was a waitress before she came to Cordonia. 'I didn't go to college,' she tells me as we sit down for coffee. 'We couldn't afford it. My grandma always felt really guilty about that but honestly, I didn't mind in the slightest. I preferred working.'

Working as a waitress.

She blinks at me. 'Yeah, it's actually not as easy as it looks. You got to keep customers happy, keep service flowing, prioritise your workload, stand on your feet for 12 hours and all with a smile on your face.'

Potential Queen right here, clearly.

Look, I like the girl so far. She's polite and friendly, quite warm actually. I want to get to know her. But surely she finds it crazy that she is in this competition?

'Oh, 100%,' she tells me. 'I know it's insane. It laughs in the face of Cordonian traditions. But you know what? Sometimes, change is a good thing. It means you're evolving.'

I'll admit she's quite wise.

                                                 **********

For our first night together, we are attending a ball at the palace. Having lived in the palace for a month now, I wonder if Camille has become adjusted to her new environment.

She rifles through dresses in the boutique as she considers my question.

'Kind of but in a weird way,' she replies. 'I still find it strange having a maid come to clean my room and everything. I tried to help her tidy once and she told me off, apparently I should let her do her job..'

I ask if she is quite self sufficient. Camille nods enthusiastically. 'Definitely. Always have been. I do things myself and just get on with it.'

This is a far cry to the other suitors who have staff on call. Countess Madeleine has someone who's only job is to sort out her wardrobe. As in, keep it tidy. Picking clothes up off the floor. Glamorous, right?

'I always think the best way to judge a person is how they treat service staff,' Camille divulges. 'Basically, if you're rude to a waiter, maid, cleaner, whatever, you're a dick.'

She is also the only suitor to use.. colourful language.

She draws out a gold silk dress. 'Ooh I like this.. What do you think?'

I look at the dress and can't deny it's beautiful. I tell her it would suit her colouring. She has the most luminous, caramel skin. Camille blushes and hugs the dress to her body. 'This is the chosen one!'

She is like a little girl playing dress up. Camille may have gotten used to the palace but clearly, having a boutique is still a novelty.

'When all I wear are jeans and oversized sweaters, sometimes it's fun to act out a fashion montage in here,' she whispers conspiratorially. She throws a feather boa around my neck and cries, 'Fashion montage!'

She stops when she notes my confusion. 'Oh god,' she says, a look of horror etched on her face. 'I've been hanging out with Maxwell Beaumont too much..'

                                             *********

Despite being a commoner, Camille manages to look regal once she is ready for the ball. Her dark hair is pulled up into a chignon, her eye makeup is smokey and she wears a delicate gold arm cuff.

I tell her she looks really pretty and a bright smile spreads on her face. 'Thank you so much!'

We meet with Bertrand Beaumont, the Duke of Ramsford, and his brother Maxwell, before we traipse down to the ballroom. As we walk down the corridors, I hear Bertrand whispering rules to Camille. 'Dance with Prince Liam, smile always, don't drink too much, always be on your guard.'

I ask Maxwell what he thinks of Camille. He flashes me a smile. 'She's awesome,' he says. 'Really nice and she isn't like the other ladies in the competition. Like, I can actually talk to her without feeling judged. She's become my friend.'

She is actually the most relatable suitor in the competition which gives her an edge over the other ladies. But relatable isn't the only thing a queen should be.

When we enter the ballroom and greet the Prince, Camille dips into a curtsey and addresses him properly. She acts like she is in control. When he takes her by the hand and guides her to the middle of the room to begin the Cordonian Waltz, everyone watches.

She moves fluidly. It's clear she's been practicing. I look around the room and see the other suitors watching her with distaste, except for Lady Hana who is smiling.

I spot a dark haired man wearing a denim shirt in the corner. He is nursing a glass of whiskey, the only person in the room who has rejected champagne. He is also the only one not dressed in formal wear which is unusual. His eyes are fixed on Camille.

I find myself unable to stop watching him watching her. His eyes never leave.

It is only when the dance finishes and Camille and Prince Liam break apart that the man averts his eyes. The journalist in me knows there is a story here.

I join Camille who invites me to sit beside her. We are joined by Lady Hana and Maxwell, who is carrying a bottle of champagne.

'Drake, come join us!' Maxwell calls out.

The man in the denim shirt comes over and sits on the other side of Camille.

I decide to ask what he thinks of my interview subject. Does he think she is up to the job of becoming queen?

He looks surprised to be asked. 'Uh yeah, I guess so..' he answers.

Camille rolls her eyes. 'Such glowing feedback!' she teases.

Drake smirks and tosses back his whiskey. 'That's the best you're gonna get out of me, Montespan.'

Camille nudges his shoulder with her own and he smiles softly.

There is DEFINITELY a story here.

                                                    ************

The next day, we are going to a barn raising. I don't know why but it seems to be an event to show that the suitors can get down and dirty.

Countess Madeleine feigns a headache. Duchess Olivia is keen to use an axe to chop wood -she told me in her own interview that she happiest when weilding a weapon.

Camille opts to wear denim shorts and a black vest with converse. 'I've never built a barn before but hey, first time for everything,' she tells me, pulling her hair into a ponytail.

I ask her what she thinks of her fellow suitors. She chews her lip thoughtfully. 'Hana is really kind,' she tells me. 'We got on instantly which is really nice. I was worried I wouldn't make any friends here but she and Maxwell have proved me wrong.'

I ask if Drake is a friend. She shrugs. 'I think so? It's hard to tell with him..'

I push on, saying they looked friendly at the ball last night. Camille quickly picks up her rucksack. 'Enough talking, let's build barns.'

                                                     *********

The sun is boiling and everyone is sweating. Camille takes out a bottle of water and hands me it, which is actually quite sweet. 'I've got one for myself,' she says.

We join the group. Prince Liam greets her enthusiastically. 'Are you ready to build a barn?' he asks.

'Let's give it a shot,' Camille answers. 'I've not been to the gym in forever though so maybe don't count on me for heavy lifting..'

'Don't worry, I got your back, Montespan.'

Ah, it's Drake. Or, Denim Boy who is Hopelessly In Love with Camille as I like to call him. I called it first folks.

Denim Boy is not wearing his denim shirt. In fact, dear reader, Denim Boy is shirtless.

Camille looks at him. Her face turns red and she looks away to speak to Maxwell but her eyes keep looking at Drake and his lack of a shirt.

Nobody else notices except me and him. I know he has noticed because he is starting to look distinctly proud of himself. He occasionally looks over at her with a smirk on his face.

Is this going to be an issue, I wonder? Camille is in the competition to marry Prince Liam and right now, she looks like she has forgotten Liam even exists. And he's trying to engage her in conversation right now!

Oh this is awkward. So awkward. I've never written a love triangle before.

Okay maybe I'm overthinking. Maybe this is not a love triangle. Maybe this is just me trying to find a twist for this article. Maybe I'm seeing things that aren't there.

'So, who wants to join Drake to help him pull beams?' Liam asks.

Remember how Camille mentioned she hadn't been to the gym in a while so she can't be counted on for heavy lifting?

Remember?

She volunteered to help Drake.

                                                  *********

I am umming and ahhing over whether to include this next part. If I don't include this, I am failing at my job. So, I will write this next part and you will keep an open mind about our last suitor.

Camille breaks rules.

Suitors are to be chaperoned at all times by their sponsor. It keeps them on the straight and narrow and their reputation intact.

But this suitor is different.

I heard her door shut at 11pm. We are staying next door to each other while I shadow her and I hear everything.

Naturally, I open my door quietly to see what is happening and sure enough, Camille has snuck out. I would like to say that she maybe left her room for a midnight snack but she is wearing a coat and is walking quietly.

At the end of the corridor, Drake appears.

It is my job as a journalist to report on what I see. And what I see is Camille sneaking out of her bedroom to go gallivanting with Denim Boy!

I suppose I was half right though. She is going for a midnight snack.

                                                  **********

I ask her the following morning if she slept well. She nods and pours me a cup of coffee. 'I did, did you?'

Oh I bet she did.

Reader, I am caught up in this drama! Oh its delicious!

'Did I hear you leave your room last night?' I ask casually.

She keeps a straight face. 'I didn't leave my room last night.'

I like to think we are becoming friendly but clearly, Camille is sticking to at least one of her chaperone's rules. She is on her guard.

We are due to attend afternoon tea with the suitors and Prince Liam. Camille admits to me that she has never been to an afternoon tea in her life. She looks embarrassed by this admission. My heart tugs for her.

If there is one thing that's obvious about this suitor competition, it's that it's each woman for herself. Backstabbing and bitching comes as a side dish to our macaroons and cakes, but Camille stays out of it, instead choosing to socialise with the more friendly suitors such as Hana and Penelope.

I see Lady Kiara is talking to Denim Boy who looks like he would rather be somewhere else. I notice that Camille keeps her eyes away from Drake and instead engages in conversation with Penelope about poodles.

It is interesting to be here. I am an outsider looking in. Prince Liam always speaks to Madeleine and Olivia, however whenever he gets a free moment, he manages to speak to Camille.

I watch as he takes his chance and slides his chair over to Camille and Penelope, greeting them both with smiles.

Penelope soon leaves the two of them, which only prompts Liam to lean in closer to Camille. He is looking at her like she is only girl in the world. He pours her another cup of tea and hands her the cup; their fingers brush. Camille quickly draws away and sips her tea. 

She is his favourite. I can see that now; everyone can. I look around and see Madeleine primed to leave her conversation with her mother so she can pounce on the prince. I see Olivia settled back in her chair, a glass of champagne held to her lips - Olivia told me she can’t stand tea- and her eyes are fixed on Camille and Liam. 

Liam calls over Drake who joins the two of them, his jaw set. He stands behind Camille’s chair so he is facing Liam head on. Only I see his fingers brush the top of Camille’s shoulders, touching her bare skin. 

Camille soon stands up and I see her make her way to the restroom. Liam looks after her. I seize my chance to steal a moment with the prince and Denim Boy. 

I take Camille’s seat, introduce myself and Liam says hello to me with a warm smile on his face. He is a kind man, as everyone knows. He has laughter lines and his lips are always upturned in the corners so it looks like he is always smiling. 

‘What do you think of Camille Montespan as your potential wife?’ I ask. I see Drake look away and he clears his throat, making an excuse that he needs to speak to Maxwell about something. 

‘I think she’s got a very good chance,’ Liam says coyly. ‘From what I’ve seen, she’s conducted herself with grace and she is kind to everyone she meets. If I’m honest, I am actually in awe of her.’

I ask him to explain. He grins. ‘Well, she’s not a noble. She’s been thrown in the deep end, having to learn about Cordonia, our traditions, etiquette, royalty.. I imagine it hasn’t been easy for her and I think it’s a true testament to her character that she has managed to excel at everything she has been presented with. Clearly, she is a dedicated and intelligent woman.’ 

I wonder how often he gets to spend time with her. If she’s a favourite, surely Liam sees her all the time?

He laughs. ‘Hardly. To be honest, whenever I ask her to meet me in the evenings, she is always busy or tired.’

My mind flicks back to when she snuck out of her bedroom but I don’t say anything. Do I feel a sense of loyalty to this woman? 

I am about to ask for more of his thoughts but I’m interrupted by Madeleine who has approached him. I take my leave and go up to my room to take notes. 

                                        ************************

That evening, I am sat with Camille at the window of her room. She is dressed in silk pyjamas and has her legs tucked up underneath her. Her hair is pulled into a messy bun and her face is free of makeup. She looks youthful but also quite tired. Clearly, this past month has been exhausting for her but she takes it all in her stride. 

I ask what kind of princess she would like to be. Camille exhales. ‘That’s a loaded question..’ she says quietly. ‘God, I feel like I’m a child again, you know how some kids want to be princesses when they grow up? Um, I guess I want to be fair. Fair and kind. I also want to make a difference.’ 

Her voice sounds off. 

Is she counting down to the ball when Liam makes his decision?

‘My whole life will change if he picks me,’ she tells me. ‘I’m actually really nervous. Is that silly? I just keep thinking, here is this man who could pick you, who has told you that he can offer you the world, but then you catch yourself wondering if you really want it.’

She breaks off, knowing she has said too much. I ask if she is having doubts because she isn’t a noble and this is a completely different world.  A fairytale. 

Camille nods, looking away from me to look out the window. ‘Yeah. That’s it,’ she whispers. ‘It’s because I’m not noble.’ 

She doesn’t sound convinced. 

                               *****************************************

Camille turns out to be really good at sailing boats. She also rides horses well and can dance like she’s been waltzing since a young age. In this short space of time, Camille has learned how to excel at every task she’s presented with and Bertrand Beaumont is starting to be more complimentary about her whenever I see him. 

‘At first, she was like unformed clay,’ he tells me seriously as we watch her ride one of the palace horses. ‘But I have moulded her to be good at everything. She is challenging ideas that commoners can’t do what we do. She is a wild card. A dark horse.’ 

He sounds like he likes her now. Bertrand chuckles. ‘I do, actually. She is good friends with my brother now and I always admire people who are keen to learn. At first, she was a little flippant but I think she decided to just buckle down and get on with it.’ 

I ask if he thinks she will win the competition. He shrugs and flashes me a wide smile. ‘I have no idea,’ he answers. ‘But that is a stark contrast to when I first met her and I thought, ‘oh dear god no.’ 

                                         *******************************

Camille dances beautifully tonight. She is wearing a green silk dress and her hair is tousled around her shoulders. I watched her get ready and she spritzed her hair with coconut spray that smelled delicious. For fun, she spritzed my hair too, and joked, ‘Don’t give away my hair secret!’ 

She danced with Maxwell, who twirled her around and they laughed constantly. I am aware of her secret shadow who is sitting in a corner, his eyes on her  the whole time. I decide to join him. 

Drake is wearing a suit. For once, he is dressed up which makes a nice change. He looks good. Really good. He is still drinking whiskey though, but hey, baby steps. 

I ask why he doesn’t ask Camille to dance. He reddens and tosses back his whiskey. ‘I can’t dance,’ he tells me bluntly. ‘Plus she would only say no.’

Camille wouldn’t say no. Not because she likes him but because she isn’t rude. Of course she would say yes. 

I tell him so and he smirks. ‘Trust me, it’s better this way.’

Liam soon interrupts Camille and Maxwell. Camille is handed to Liam and the two of them waltz around the room. I see Drake clench his glass. This whole tortured romantic persona is starting to grate. I want to tell him to just ask her to dance. But to do so would ruin this article. I am here to profile Camille and her efforts to win Liam’s affections, which she is doing. I am not here to encourage a love triangle, no matter how much I see this being the situation. 

Camille bursts out laughing at something that Liam says. It’s a real throaty laugh and it makes some courtiers turn to look at her. Even when she isn’t meaning to, Camille commands attention. 

That is what a princess and future queen needs to do. 

Drake stands up and leaves the table without saying goodbye. He leaves the ballroom. His whiskey glass is still half full; I pick it up and sniff. It’s incredibly strong. 

                                                   *************

The following night, we are staying over at Applewood. The day was pleasant and Camille helped plant an apple tree at the orchard, flashing a warm smile to the cameras.  The public are there and applaud. Out of all the suitors, she is the only one to crouch down and give the children cuddles. 

I can see her winning this competition. 

I was later back to my room as I was enjoying a drink at the hotel bar with Bertrand. He is actually quite fun once you get to know him. I now have an invitation to the next Beaumont Bash in my pocket and I will be sure to report on everything I see. 

As I walk back to my room, I see a man I haven’t seen before running towards me, a look of sheer terror on his face. He has a black eye. I try to stop him but he ignores me.  

I get to my room and hear crying from next door. 

Concerned, I am about to knock on Camille’s door, but I’m stopped by the sound of a male voice inside, murmuring. I don’t knock. I can’t ruin her privacy. 

This is when this article gets complicated. I want to report on everything I come across but to do so is an extreme violation of Camille. The woman agreed to meet me so I can profile her, not to air her dirty laundry. 

Which is why I didn’t listen to the conversation next door. But I will phone my editor tomorrow and speak to her, telling her about my dilemma. 

                                      ******************************

My editor wants me to report on everything. She wants my honest opinion  If I don’t, I am lying to Cordonia who should know the type of woman Camille is. 

This is what I think about Camille.

She is kind. She is warm and has no hidden agenda; what you see is what you get with her. She will happily chat to you and is interested in what you have to say. She cares about Cordonia already and wants to make a difference. She is intelligent and hasn’t been swept up in this grand lifestyle. Her feet remain firmly on the ground. 

The next morning, we leave Applewood. Camille’s eyes are red rimmed and she looks exhausted, choosing to look out of the window of the car as we drive back to the palace. When we arrive back, she turns to me and apologises. 

‘I’m sorry for being quiet,’ she says. ‘I just had a hard night last night. Someone got into my room and tried… well, it wasn’t nice. But it’s been dealt with.’

I’m alarmed to hear that someone got into her room but she waves away my concern. ‘It’s fine. I got help. But anyway, I’m sorry for being so boring today. I’m going to have a rest and we can meet in an hour? Palace bar? We can have wine, my treat.’

Am I about to have girly chats with Camille? Is it weird that I’m excited?

                                                     **************

She looks refreshed when we meet at the palace bar. She has ordered a bottle of wine and pours me a large glass. ‘How long have you been a journalist?’ she asks. 

I’m surprised that she is the one asking the questions. I tell her and she asks more about me, which is quite nice actually. We talk like girlfriends sharing wine after a day at work, not like a journalist and her interview subject. 

‘Thank you for profiling me,’ she says, smiling. ‘It’s been great to get to know you.’ 

I am about to say the same but we’re interrupted by Denim Boy, who has entered the bar. He gives me a nod and he nudges Camille on the arm. ‘Can we talk?’ he asks. 

She nods and throws me an apologetic smile. 

I watch them both leave and I see Drake place his hand on her lower back as he guides her away. 

They look like a couple. They look more like a couple than Camille and Liam ever have and that is one thing I need to be really honest about. 

                                           *******************

As this article went to press, Camille was told to leave Cordonia. 

Pictures came out of her and the man I saw running down the corridor at Applewood in her room. Camille was clad in her underwear while he had her in an embrace. The pictures were broadcasted around Cordonia and Camille left the palace in humiliation.

I’m confused about this. It doesn’t make sense to me. I had never seen Camille ever speak to the man before and she never mentioned him.  

The photo was taken from outside so clearly, someone was installed outside the palace and spied on her. That reeks of suspicion.  Who would want to spy on Camille?

I wonder what this means for her and Drake. 

Not Liam, no. Because I genuinely feel, now that the competition is over and Camille is no longer at the palace, I feel that she never had feelings for him. I think she liked him, of course she did, but there was no spark.   It doesn’t matter now anyway; he is now engaged to Madeline.

But there was spark with her and Drake, who I lovingly named Denim Boy. 

What will become of the two of them? Camille will no doubt go back to New York and Drake will remain in the shadows of the ballroom. Shame. I found myself rooting for them.

And that is my honest opinion.

[avengerscompound]

Finding Home - Chapter 15

Finding Home: A Captain America Fanfic

Masterlist Previous //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers x OFC (Daisy Adams)

Word Count:  2007

Warnings:  Angst, mentions of torture, violence, major character death, mentions of sexual abuse/rape, pregnancy, smut (vaginal sex, oral sex, pregnancy sex, Bisexual MMF threesome)

Synopsis:  Daisy Adams has abilities. She can read minds. Force her thoughts onto others. As a child, she is taken by Hydra and raised as a weapon. Daisy finds another and speaks to him in his dreams. He has been taken too. He wants to return to the man he loves. Can she get them back together? Will she even want to once she realizes that she’s falling in love?

Chapter 15

The four of us flew straight to Bucharest. I scanned the city. I could feel how close he was, and I touched on everyone’s mind looking for evidence they’d seen him. It took longer than it would have in the past because when I focused too hard my nose bled. If my nose bled, Steve made me stop.

Finally, I touched on the mind of an old lady heading home to her apartment. She was thinking of the sweet boy who lived next door. She was going to make Lángos and take it to him. She worried about him eating enough. The boy was not a boy. He was a man. A man with a metal arm.

“Steve! I’ve got him!” I squealed, opening my eyes.

“What where?” Steve said jumping to his feet. “Sam! Suit up.”

I followed him into the bedroom of the shitty little apartment we were holed up in and watched as he stripped off the sweats he’d been wearing and started pulling on his uniform.

“He’s in an apartment block, it’s probably twenty minutes northeast of where we are now. Top floor. Apartment on the left when you take the Eastern stairwell. I can show you.”

Sam appeared in the doorway. “I was just monitoring the military channels. Bad news. Daze wasn’t the first one to find him. A swat team is on their way.”

“Damn it!” Steve snapped. “Daisy, do you think you can pinpoint it on a map?”

I shook my head. “I don’t know. I don’t exactly have an address.”

“If they’re sending in the authorities the risk is too high for you to come. Particularly not with Jamie. Do your best. See if you can find it while we get ready.” Steve said. He was in totally Captain America mode. I wouldn’t be able to talk my way into this fight.

I headed back into the living room and using Google maps of all things I somehow managed to find the building. Sam entered the details in his equipment.

“Daisy,” Steve said coming up behind me, he was putting his helmet on, fastening the strap on his chin. James was walking along beside him, holding on to one of the pockets on his pants. “This might get ugly. Wait here. If we don’t come back call Nat. Please, don’t use your abilities to find us.” Steve picked James up and kissed him. I stood and Steve passed him to me.

“You have people to live for. Don’t forget.” I said running my finger down his nose. “And bring him home.”

“I’ll do my best.” He kissed me and left without looking back.

“Don’t get killed,” I said to Sam as he passed me.

“Who me? I’m always safe.” Sam laughed as he followed Steve out the door.

So just like always I waited. I spent the rest of the day keeping James distracted and trying not to worry. When the sun set I turned on the TV to see if there was anything on the news. I flicked through stations until I found footage of Steve being muscled into a car.

I picked up the phone and called Nat.

Natasha had Rhodey came and collected me. He was not happy about it.

“What do you think you’re playing at, Daisy?” He snapped at me, barging straight into the apartment.

I glared at him. He was still in his War Machine armor and quite obviously treating me as hostile. “I’m playing at trying to protect an innocent man. Who you might also recall is the father of my child. What are you playing at?”

“I’m just trying to uphold the law.” He answered.

I rolled my eyes. “Well, aren’t you noble?”

I started grabbing my things. “Rhodey, you aren’t here to arrest me. I have Jamie with me. What are you doing?”

“I just came from arresting your boyfriend. You think I had time to change?” He said defensively.

“Well, I’ve seen Tony get in and out of the Iron suit in three seconds flat. So I’m going to go with: Yes.” I said. “Did you think it would protect you from me?” I scooped Jamie up and headed out the door.

“No. Yet I still felt the need to wear it. What does that tell you?” Rhodey asked.

I turned and looked at him. “It tells me that whatever you think is happening here, you’re calling it a war.”

“That’s not what it is?”

“I was under the impression it was people disagreeing about signing away their decision-making process or not. But what do I know? I also thought we were family. Yet here you are aiming a pulse rifle at a one-year-old.”

I was taken back to Berlin, but not in the convey with the others. James and I were flown on the Quinjet. When I got there the first thing I realized was that they were not only not going to let me see Steve and absolutely not see Bucky, but they hadn’t even told Steve I was there. I was taken to an office and told to wait. I was told I wasn’t under arrest, yet I was still kind of under arrest as far as everyone who came near me was concerned.

Natasha came to see me. She felt such hurt and fear. I immediately stood when she came into the room and hugged her. I didn’t even care that she thought I was wrong and that Bucky was a dangerous criminal, I just needed to hug her.

“Why couldn’t you both just leave it alone?” She asked as we clung to each other.

“You know why,” I answered.

James toddled over and pulled on her jacket. She crouched down and picked him up.

Tony stormed into the room. “You are going back to the compound right now.” He barked.

“How about you go fuck yourself?” I seethed at him.

“Do you kiss Cap with that mouth?” Tony asked, sitting down and putting his legs up on the desk.

Natasha handed James to me “I’m just going to let you both talk. Play nice children.”

I grabbed her hand. “Tell him I’m here and I’m safe.”

She shook her head. “You know I can’t do that.”

“Either tell him I’m here and safe, or I will.” I tapped my head.

“Don’t do it, Romanoff.” Tony snapped. Nat smiled at me sadly and left the room.

“Sit down, Adams,” Tony said.

“Don’t fucking tell me what to do. This is your fault.” I yelled. Jamie pushed how upset he was that I was yelling into my head and covered my mouth with his hand. “Sorry, Bubba,” I said, looking down at him and kissing his hands. He started to squirm and I put him down. He waddled over to Tony and gestured to be lifted. Tony picked him up and hugged him. I sat down opposite him.

“I didn’t write the accords, Daisy. I just support them. What Steve has done … he interfered with the capture of a murderer.” Tony said. He was talking to me like I was a child that wouldn’t understand properly.

“He didn’t murder anyone,” I said interrupting him.

“Daisy. He was a tool of Hydra. He murdered people.” Tony reasoned.

“So was I, Tony,” I said. “You gonna lock me up? Leave Jamie with no parents?”

“Daisy …” He said sadly.

“Stop saying my name like you’re the principal at my school and you think I’m going off the rails.” I snapped. “You know I’m pregnant right?”

He did not. He looked up at me stunned. At a loss for words for what was probably the first time in his actual life. “It’s Cap’s?”

“Uh … yes.”

“When are you due?”

“In six months,” I answered. “So you see; I’m not going back to the fucking compound. I’m not going anywhere without my family. And I will be walking out here with them, even if it means I wipe every single person’s mind of any trace of Captain America, Falcon or the fucking Winter Soldier. And when I say every single person. I mean; every. Single. Person. Every person in this building. Every person in the UN. Every person on the fucking planet if I have to. Do I make myself clear?” I spoke calmly but with venom. I never raised my voice, but my anger dripped from every word.

“He’s not under arrest. He can go. You can both go.” Tony said quietly.

“And Bucky?” I asked.

“Daisy …”

“He didn’t do this, Tony. I can fix him. You know I can.” I pleaded with him.

“I don’t have that kind of power. I just don’t.”

I started to cry. “I need him, Tony. Steve needs him.”

Tony got up, putting James back on his feet. He walked around the desk and put his hand on my shoulder. “Stay here. I’ll send Cap up. You can talk to him about what you want to do.” He shook his head and laughed. “You’re both so god damned stubborn. No wonder you like each other so much.”

“You can talk.” I sniffed.

He laughed and left the room. I sat and waited. I started to wonder if Tony had lied to me. That he never went to tell Steve I was here. That maybe he was under arrest. I tried the door and it was locked. I slid down the wall and sat on the floor. James was pushing the chair on the far side of the desk back and forth he looked over at me and toddled over.

“Hey, buddy,” I said, hugging him when he fell into my arms. “I wonder where your daddy is.”

I received a clear impression of Steve in a glass room with Sam and Sharon. He was watching a screen. Bucky was in this Glass box, strapped down like he was back in Hydra when they wiped him. I started to tremble. He must be terrified. He wasn’t even resisting either. He could get out of that fucking box. Why were they doing this?

“Your daddy is in big trouble, Jamie,” I said, squeezing him against me. “And you are kind of scary, little one. How am I going to teach you how to control those powers when they’re so strong?”

The lights suddenly went out. It was almost pitch black in the room except for a flashing red light. I scrambled to my feet holding Jamie close to me. He pushed fear onto me.

“It’s okay, little one,” I said, pressing my lips to his head. I tried the door again. It was just as locked now as it had been with the lights out. “Can you find daddy again?”

An image of Steve and Sam running down some stairs filled my head. “That’s pretty good, bud. What about this one.” I projected an image of Bucky into his mind. There was a pause and then my head was filled with Bucky. He was panicking. Someone was reading out his trigger words.

“Oh no, no, no, no!” I chanted. I put James on the ground and started thumping on the door. James started crying. I was going to have to try and put in his barriers or we might lose him.

I ran to the corner of the room and sat down propping myself in the corner. “Jamie. I’m going to be okay, baby. Just be good for, mommy.” I said. He crawled over and curled up in my lap. I closed my eyes and sent myself to Bucky. He was fighting, and I started sifting through his mind.

- HELP ME, DAISY! - He cried out in his own mind.

- I’M TRYING! - I pushed back, as I put wall after wall up around the core of what made him, him. Things happened so fast. I was just attempting to write in something to undo it. Something I was sure Steve would say when the Soldier took over and pushed me out so hard it felt like I’d been physically thrown.

Everything went black.

// NEXT

[the-canary]

A Million Stars - B.B (6/8)

Summary: It’s a whisper in the night, a promise to disappear forever. Don’t trust the Goblin King – it’s just that some princesses never learn. (Labyrinth/Royalty AU!Reader/Bucky Barnes).

Prompt: “The kind of smile that would be cruel not to kiss.”  

A/N: This is for @sweetboybucky 1k writing challenge. i hope i can do this scene some justice in my version of it. please enjoy! we are so close to the end too <3 also i couldn’t choose one dress, so make up your own with the refer or think of Sarah’s!

Feedback is always appreciated.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 

There is a sword near Sam’s neck. Gold eyes meet brown eyes as Sam isn’t sure how he is supposed to get out of this situation. The large teddy bear looks at him from his noble steed -- a dark, large cat with sharp eyes, though it is a curious little thing to see three mice-like creatures behind it.

“The princess, where is she?” he ask once again, voice darker and more threatening than before. The hunkering green creature wailing at the loss and confusion he is also feeling over the loss of his new and only friend.

“The Goblin King has her in a dream,” Sam states, “He has taken a particular interest in that young lady.”

Sam barely ducks in time to stop his head and stuffing from being sliced off completely.

It takes a while to realize that you aren’t within the labyrinth. You wonder in confusion and a light concussion for what seems like an eternity, as you come to that large, marble floor once again. The piano isn’t playing this time, but rather a classical grouping that you had seen once or twice in important events at castle -- like your father’s wedding. However, this time they were wearing bright and colorful masks, you turned around once, then twice to see a mist of people dancing around you in elegant gowns and suits with masks on. They gave you pointed smiles and nods, but never touched you

It’s then you feel it, the spark once again as it runs down your veins and through your body -- connecting and webbing together to form a a light but tight silver-blue dress around your form.  The lighter details of the dress are white, as they seem to form a story of a forest and dark sky that just can’t seem to reach other. A thinner wed is laid over your shoulder and the top of the dress as a sort of a cape you push back. Your hair is looser and fluffier than before, as you feel something heavy upon it -- maybe a crown.

You glance around in confusion, as the rest of the guests murmur in awe.

“A princess, of fae blood,” they whisper as you feel cold at the lie -- you couldn’t have that awful thing running through your veins, but they keep on reminding you, “The god of thunder’s blood.”

You let out a tiny yelp, as you almost feel their hands coming closer, as you turn and take off into the dark parts of the mist, but that energy doesn’t leave you -- doesn’t rub off. In your immediate fear, you don’t notice the figure that appears before you.  

“You don’t feel, do you?” the man asks as you see glance to finally see him -- the Goblin King. He’s dressed fancier than before with a long, dark-colored jack who entrails reach behind his knees,  white shirt and pants with dark boots that reach his knees. His hair slicked back and his own mask is black with gemstones that only make his blue eyes pop out even more, “That lovely power coursing through you.”

The music plays softer than before, as he puts out his hand for permission to dance. You should deny him, say no and run away, but his declaration (and his eyes) have your complete attention. You place your hand on top of his and he gives you a crooked ring that send a shiver down your spine.

“Tell me what you know,” you pause, as if testing out the waters before adding softly, “Please, James.”

His eyes flash something darker for a moment, as he wraps a the other arm around your waist and begins to sway you back and forth before talking once more: “Curious little thing, they hid so much from you.”

“And you know everything in the world?”

“More than you, princess,” he spat the last word out --your human title-- like it doesn’t mean anything to him, as you grab his hand a bit tighter than before.  

“Tell me, your majesty,” you say in a honey sweet tone, though there is pointed edge that makes him smile even more.

“You are part fae,” he twirls you around before pulling you back into his charm and gravity, “You are meant for something else completely, princess.”

“And what would you want from me, oh Great Goblin King?” you answer back annoyed that he is teasing you with all the knowledge he is hiding from you, all the things you don’t know about yourself that he does.

“I could teach you our history,” he states, somewhere between desperation and something else you can’t quite pinpoint, though you feel his own magic --darker and heavier than your own-- as the music seems to stops and the shadows gather around you once more, “Teach how to control your powers and so much more.”

You stay quiet, waiting for hum to state what he wanted in exchange as all men in power did -- you just didn’t expect the lovesick tone over his next words, as he grabs your cheek softly with his gloved hand. Blue eyes looking at you like you’re the only thing in the world.

“Just. Be. My. Queen,” he emphasizes every word, as you just stand there in momentary shock. He gives you a heartbreaking smile, like you’re going to deny him but you can’t find the words too, as your wisps of light reach out to him for a moment.

Would it really be so bad?

You knew what awaited you at home -- a horrible marriage, a father that had sold you and forgotten about you, a stepmother that only really cared about her own child who was still just a baby. Nobody is missing you now, nobody would care if you left -- you would end up a story just like mother. However, this would be under your terms should it happen and maybe James knew that, as he watches you lean a little closer and pull his chin so that your forehead is touching his mask.

“And if I say yes, would you treat me as your equal?” you whisper harshly as he gives you a bright smile, like a child that has found his way home, “I will not have any less from you and in exchange, you would have all of me. Will you give me that?”

“Everything, I’ll give you the world and the stars because you deserve all that and more,” he states with a giddy laugh that you can’t help but return, but before you can say anything else -- the roof shatters into a million pieces of glass and bubbles.

Everything fall into the silence as you lose all closeness and tenderness you had with the Goblin King. You scream his name, but hear nothing back. The piano keeps playing softly in the chaos as you and all the guests, tables, decoration, and flooring keep falling into the endless darkness.

Would you have said yes?

A lonely and haunted voice whispers in your ear as your clothes turn back to normal and the lightning wraps around you in a cocoon.

Yes, I would have.

It takes you a moment to realize that you aren’t where you once were anymore, wherever that was. You get up slowly to see several pairs of eyes overlooking at you in worry as an awful smell is far but still prominent in your nostrils, as you wonder what poor Sam and Hulk went through. You give both of them a smile before turning to look at the bear on the familiar cat like creature that it makes you want to cry.

“Heimdall!” you yell out and grab at the bear, who seems to stiffen at the contact, as Sam frowns, “You found me.”

“Anything for you, princess,” the bear states with complete calmness as Sam rolls his eyes.

“Wait, wait. You know this bear,” Sam questions as Hulk groans in confusion, clearly remembering that it hadn’t been easy getting out of the Land of Eternal Stench due to the constant bickering between the two stuffed bears. The Warriors Three and Sif can’t help but agree silently.

“Heimdall has been with me since I was a baby,” you explain, letting him go and letting the others animals introduce themselves. You smile and welcome them eagerly. Sam tells you what they had been through after you disappeared, though you tell them that you don’t remember where you went.

An aftereffect of the peach, Sam thinks to himself as everyone starts moving forward.  

“We should head to the castle and find baby Marcus, princess,” Heimdall declares, as you nod though all the while still feeling about fuzzy about what you couldn’t put together.

“You are right,” you state before starting to get up and walk with Hulk’s help, taking the lead as the row of animals walk behind. There is nothing exchanged between the group, almost as if going over what is going to happen when you reach the Goblin City before having a team talkout. However, thinking about the Goblin City leads to a soft echo in your mind -- like someone is longing for you in a way they never had before.

You freeze in shock for a moment at the reminder, as you turn around and look at the teddy bear that you have had nearly all your life. Gold eyes stare back, as if prepared over what comes out of your mouth next.

“Heimdall,” you state, “Did you know I was connected to the fae? That I have the blood of a god running through all this time and none told me.”

Gold eyes share nothing with you, but there is a subtle change to his demeanor, as you swear you hear a mischievous laugh in your head that you can’t help but smile just a bit at, though completely serious as the bear looks at you.

The clock strikes three hours left, as the tale begins.

Part 7 

[no-sleep-infinite-energy]

2021.03.11

I would be lying if I said I'm not slightly disappointed or mildly hurt that the friends I have known since 2015 and have spent everyday in a discord call with since last June all forgot my birthday. It's not like I didn't mention it or haven't celebrated it with them before. Albeit the last time I did celebrate it with them was also pretty fucking awful. I don't need or want a party or cake or presents but just a simple reminder that they thought about me would have been nice. I don't know why I care. Was it wrong of me to have this expectation to be the bare minimum of the friendship I have with the very few handful of people I acknowledge as my closest and most treasured friends? They aren't bad friends, and I don't hold anything against any of them. If anything I'm so grateful to have them support and celebrate my life wins when I have them. but I guess I'm just a little sad only 3 of my friends outside of my mom/dad/brother and the starbucks lady went out of their way to remember the only day i feel like i'm allowed to have a little bit of attention and be a little selfish. what does this even say about me right? maybe it's just me being mopey about feeling lonely and like i don't matter at all again.

whatever, i guess i sound super dramatic and depressed but i don't think i get overly upset at insignificant things like i did when I was still in high school or college.

here are good things that happened to me today:

1. I got a free drink at Starbucks, their iced brown sugar oatmilk shaken espresso is really good, not syrupy or overly sweet and oatmilk > milk for the lactose-intolerance

2. I had Dumpling House for lunch!!!

3. I got a Strawberry Cream cake from Mozart

4. I took a nap

5. I put this Shiba shell on my Switch!!! isn't it so cute :D

6. I got my 20th Fall Guys win (and finally unlocked an achievement)

7. I didn't have to work

8. j texted me which was really cool because we totally haven't kept in touch since like 10th grade (2010 holy shit) except like once when we got dinner at densetsu but it definitely made me smile at how simple our friendship was back then

9. I got FengCha bc fuckit if i don't have boba for my treat myself day

10. My mom and dad and I ate kbbq at home with our pancake griddle and my brother video called me!!! i'm happy anytime i feel like i get a little closer to my brother. we've never been super close and it makes me a little sad that he's barely home anymore. hopefully next year he gets to be back here?

11. I got my Voluspa reed diffusers and matcha tea set

12. I'm rewatching Lovely Complex (which holy the plot/the progression/the pacing/the jokes are actually super well written for the time and it's aged pretty well too imo)

13. I have plans to clean my room eheh..

14. I spent time at a Barnes&Noble and got myself a few books this week c:

15. a lot of good things happened today

[empathdespoina]

Who am I?

Unfortunately I was not able to put a title on my first post; since I was using the app on my iphone, late at night on composing that first post.

In this area, I’m going by the name Despoina.

Why that name you ask? 

Well one, I like that name being one of the few daughters of Poseidon and use it for my video games characters. But mostly it’s so no one sees my real name and try to search for me. I’ve seen enough crazy things in this world, to know smart people who are good at internet tracing on finding people. To give examples you don’t have to look to far for a few “Karens” who were caught on social media being racists as fuck and found their job and where they live; causing them to lose their job. Which is good social justice; but even in the same breath people who are doing good could be found by the wrong people...for example a Judge, that this person didn’t like her and was hoping to kill her before the upcoming case, in regards to him or someone else close to him... instead the crazy killed her son, who was trying to protect his father and she wasn’t home; and this was found out due to her address being public knowledge as a Judge, now think how dangerous that is for those who don’t want to go to jail and figure they can get away, killing the Judge to not have a court case (which is stupid, due to the fact that person would get a different Judge assigned to the case). And more recently what could have happened with the Montana Governor. So pardon me if I prefer to be called by this.

Also to be honest my photo image is probably in my mid 20s... I’m 34yrs old as this is being composed. I thought this photo of me in a bath tub under water... seem best to symbolize my account. And the fact most Empaths are comfortable around water.

When did I learn I was and Empath and fully commit to it? 

Well I oddly found out when I was briefly living in Las Vegas for a few short years and I found my path along the lines of practicing Wicca; which I felt a better connection to, compared to the religions I was brought up on. So one store I went to called the “Psychic Eye” was having a psych class lesson that was a mix of different things to learn about different psychic gift abilities. The person who was running the class, a nice old lady; who could hold her own authority, and be sweet too. I forget how exactly it started...but one day I was last to leave this short weekly session and we were talking. She asked me a few questions and one that stuck to me was “Do you feel comfortable around water?” I told her yes. She informed me that I was an empath and I could feel other people’s feelings. Now some might think...that this woman was leading me on...but the minute she told me Empath... its as if something click in my mind from my subconscious to my conscious, saying this is the piece I’m missing to better understanding myself.

Heh after that I found a meetup group for those learning about Wicca... and wasn’t necessarily working towards controlling my abilities as an empath. Since around that time... I had got rid of the toxic people around me...who wanted to draw off my energy. Yet it was this one night at a Denny’s...where the group met up, every so often. That I felt my chakra points, which I had already learned about those points and did brief reading of books about empaths; that my Heart and Solar Plexus Chakra points were being hit hard as fuck. It felt as if someone speed up my heart out of nowhere and making me feel sick to my stomach...after I had just finish eating my food, ten minutes prior. There was also someone else in that group getting hit by it too. And unfortunately for me...I didn’t have any of my stones with me to help me focus, nor be able to shield myself or be able push out this person’s energy that LITTERLY was consuming me... almost like when Venom engulfs Spider-man or any other Marvel Hero. Someone let me grab onto a stone that was a keychain on their bag.. and I was looking around as if I was in high tide with ripe tide added into it find where in the hell this was coming from. I was able to zone in on the person, almost like a radar single but in a different way. It was a young woman with a man and judging by her body expressions she was breaking up with him.... now I wasn’t that far away from them; nor was she shouting loud to draw attention to her from the restaurant.

Later in my life I would have two other moments my chakra points were taking me over... but that be a story for another time...because the experiences were way way different; especially my second experience...compared to the Denny’s one.

Later on in my life, I would on and off read e-book on amazon about empaths and surprisingly enough; there seems to be a higher level of this genre as e-books. It’s only recently during COVID, and me still without a job and having to deal with my mom doing a close fracture (meaning bone didn’t break through the skin) on her right ankle and I had to be downstairs every single day since September 9. Which wasn’t that great because my mother and I are not close (another story about that and my empath abilities being taken advantage of); so I decided to start reading books and worked on focusing again about being an Empath and controlling my abilities. I did buy four small books from Barnes and Nobles...where mostly were really really small. Majority were good and some I question the author or author pissed me off on their school of thought process on being an Empath.

At this point I would say, I am having a better grasp at shielding myself.. which took a bit to figure out; since there is NO real way on how to do it. There’s constant talk in the many books I’ve read about shielding yourself and keeping it up; to ward off the negative energy and only get a taste of the emotions to know what’s going on with the person. Yet sadly I couldn’t due that, until I asked one of the owners at “Amityville Apothecary”, who gave me pointers on a way to do it and it worked.  I will share that in another blog, down the road...I have a few points or a process on how I want to put these posts out. Kinda like teaching a lesson (was an art teacher, briefly)...in hopes of making it easier for others.

Why did you want to start this blog?

Why is because I’m starting to notice a few more people close to me and some people I interact with don’t know that they’re empaths... and unfortunately with these past four years under Trump and his encouragement to do negative things to others. Interesting enough I did a search to see what the professionals would psychoanalyze him as (which is not an official diagnosis, but based on past experience with other patients and/or studies on mental health) and he would be considered a Narcissi Personality Border. Pretty much he was obsess as a child to please his sociopathy father that showed no emotions and how he had Daddy issues and clung to Putain and North Korea’s Great Leader (yes as bad as this was to see this dictator of North Korea, I am still impress another nation’s governing person was able to talk to him; besides South Korea always trying. Hey it’s not the best thing, but I give credit on that...knowing how North Korea keeps others out so much); so these two had similarities to how his daddy was; when Trump’s father was alive. It’s like Daddy issues mixed with the crazy thought process of the main character in Talladega Nights movie on having to be the best and a person with God-like complex or spoiled child on getting their way...seeing how people are afraid to say NO to him and him getting away with a lot of things. It seriously makes me question his mental state of mind and even more once he’s out of office.

Sorry I got a bit off topic...but due to Trump being this crazy and erratic and not being punish; including those around him were afraid to say no to literally a crazy man...and to be honest seeing some people not as bad as Trump; is pretty fucken scary. Well it encourage other people who were secret assholes and sociopaths and everything else mentally wrong in the brain...to disregard society’s standard of right and wrong...just let their evil side out and more people were getting killed by others; you had people who were not white, being trailed by crazy white people. And all those people who are Trump supporters and not right in the head. All this chaos this president has created and made it even worst this year with COVID...proving he didn’t care about others and just wanted people to fight each other...so no one would care about what was happening in the world and not pay attention to the fact, he wasn’t doing his job properly as a President. Which some of us in this world were wiser to know; especially how he treated the virus, even after getting it.

So of course there’s going to be a heavier rise of negative energy, compared to the past years; and love ones around you and friends believing all the social media garbage from the republicans. And no matter what, you can’t have a healthy mind conversation about who would become President...where for example my mom thought Biden’s campaign design symbolized China...which I know she’s been using Facebook a lot lately and see all those false information and not cross checking the information to be true and her friend who survived cancer...also on facebook; and I know this friend is going through chemical brain...because I’ve seen it before in others and how it changes the person completely.

And I have been hearing, from those I play dungeons and dragons; and them feeling things much harder. And then recently talking to the vet, due taking the older family dog, Buddy for a visit, and for me to realize that she was an animal empath; based on the comments at this animal hospital she works for on being nicknamed “Dr. Death” due to how gentle she is on putting the animal down; and she feels the animals’ pain...and yet she doesn’t know how to control it and she’s got to be in her late 50s. Then there is the Vet’s daughter, who feels people’s energies far much harder than me...that she’s thought of suicide a few times, visiting the hospitals due to that and putting her on psych meds...when the case is; is that if her daughter was taken to a positive area, she be alright. No psych meds required or being in a psych ward.

So honestly I want this blog to help other people, to make them feel less crazy about themselves and not give into negativity on being told how different you as a person reacts with your feelings, compared to others. And lastly, I think there’s a higher need of people learning about empaths and knowing if they are full blown or have some abilities; because we need to find a way to control the raging storm in the USA. Plus it helps bring you to a better understanding of yourself; since we are such complex people. So come along this journey with me as I teach you about Empaths and the abilities associated with this gift.

So blessed be and may the sun give you the strength to rise for the day; as the moon soothes you at night and your troubles away.

[lizzybeth1986]

“I’ve never met a problem a proper cupcake couldn’t fix” - Bittersweet, by Sarah Okler.

Hana’s connection with food has been a constant since Book 1. She is the first to comment on how delicious the cronuts are (and the only one to describe how they taste in detail). She proves herself an excellent baker at Applewood. She drowns her sorrows in comfort food and champagne when she recieves the news that she is to leave Cordonia immediately. Her (supposed) last tryst with the MC takes places while they have armfuls of dessert. Her first act of solidarity for the MC in Book 2 is to prepare hot chocolate for her, and her activity for Madeleine’s bachelorette is a chocolate fondue party.

As you can see, Hana is constant associated with desserts and sweet treats. Not only because she is, as the MC claims, “too sweet to be anything else”, but because the best desserts are those that have layers of flavour that go beyond merely sweet: sour, spiced, lightly salted. Ever heard of salted caramel? Chili chocolate truffles? Orange zest in a fruit pie? The contrasting flavours offset the sweetness to create an explosive dessert. So though Hana is sweet, there is so much to her left to be explored. We must remember that, above everything, Hana’s main character arc involves discovering who she is and what she wants. And that’s exactly what the MC aims to do. Using dessert.

On A Mission

As I have mentioned in previous essays, there are a number of sequences (Cordonian Waltz, Moonflower) that involve a heavy dose of both helping the MC out in achieving a goal and background information on Hana. Here, the MC and Hana, on learning that the former queen Regina was disappointed at the lack of religieuse at the tea party, figure that having one in hand could give the MC an edge in her mission. Hana, who has been to Paris often enough to understand where they can get the best pastry, is the perfect person to help the MC out.

Lavander Macarons

Besides being perfect for their mission, the pattiserie that Hana chooses is important for its nostalgic value as well. She shares memories of happier times with her mother, shopping in Paris, relaxing, learning to make baked goods so fluffy and delicious they would - as her mother out it - “win a man’s heart”. This shows us a glimpse of Hana’s childhood, and gives us an alternative glimpse of what her family is like when they aren’t pressuring her into being the perfect wife and hostess.

This part of the sequence is also important because it touches on the root of Hana’s confusions. We know that Hana is at a crossroads in her life, that she isn’t sure about what she wants. But up until this point we weren’t always sure about what she had expected her life to look like before the MC came along and changed everything.

Hana tells us that she had always imagined being happy in a life of cosy domesticity. It seemed simpler: her world would revolve around this one person, and her energies would be focused on making them happy than on delving into more complicated, frightening questions about herself.

The MC, however, having being brought up in a completely different environment, finds this disturbing.

Part of this is because this is the only life Hana has seen happen around her, and if it has made people around her happy, how would she be any different? That is why her coming to Cordonia involves such a change. Not because of the country itself - it is, after all, a society that operates on similar principles - but because of her involvement with the MC.

The Suitors

Because Rashad and Neville have already set their sights on wooing Hana, the MC doesn’t get to see them the way Hana does. The MC is, after all, outside of the social juggling game that the other nobles and ladies-in-waiting have to play, and therefore has no obligation towards getting a suitor the way Penelope, Kiara and Hana are. On the outset we don’t get very clear ideas of Rashad and Neville as people, but Hana - as someone who is compelled to choose someone if she has to solidify her already-tenuous position in Madeleine’s court - has to deal with them on a more regular basis.

Hana tells us that Rashad shows more involvement in his work with Sloan Enterprises than in either the court or in her (is it just me, or is Rashad repeating the mistakes that drove away his first fiancee, as he described in RoE Book 2?), and that Neville is self-absorbed and doesn’t seem to have any concern for the woman he should be spending his life with.

These are things that may not have bothered Hana earlier. But having experienced love, and (if she is the MC’s LI) having learned what it is like to have some who truly cares about you by your side, Hana has now grown to expect more out of her relationships. The major question that remains for her, however, is who she is, and what she wants from her life.

“I Want You”

What amazes me about this sequence is that Hana’s admission of her need for the MC is part of her default dialogue. Whether or not the MC chooses Hana as her LI, the truth stands that she is the sole reason Hana is here, and that Hana’s desire for her is a very tangible, very real thing - something that doesn’t disappear if the MC doesn’t return those feelings.

It is further complicated by her need to still do right by her parents, who do not understand her but cannot imagine their lives without her either. Whatever steps she can take at this point are baby steps, because she still cannot truly imagine a future that doesn’t involve them, nor can her parents truly imagine a future where the rules they have learned to live by do not apply.

Personality Test

The highlight of this sequence is the MC’s “personality test”, where she presents Hana three pastries and asks her to describe them, based on which the MC will highlight what aspect of Hana’s personality her response shows.

Hana’s experience in baking allows her to pick up on subtleties in what she tastes, and she clearly shows her knowledge in the way she describes each dessert given to her (“fluffy and indulgent” for the religieuse, “light and delicate” for the macarons and “classic, rich comfort food” for the chocolate cake). This also makes the MC’s job easier, because it allows her to develop a clearer idea of personality traits that the dessert could possibly reflect. The fact that Hana likes aspects of all the desserts tells us something very important about her journey at present: that her life could go in a million different directions, each more exciting than the last, and there will come a day when the myriad complexities in Hana’s personality will no longer confuse, but excite her instead. She is right about finding something good in all the desserts, because we find aspects of all these personality traits scattered throughout the books:

Religieuse

The MC classifies this dessert as a “girly girl’s dessert”, prim and proper and well-fitted for high society. Hana has been taught to be the perfect hostess and the perfect courtier, and this has been her life long enough for her to find comfort in it. At the Derby in Book 1, Hana speaks of enjoying tea parties alone with imaginary friends. Her dance moves (especially during the Finale dance-off) epitomizes grace, in clear contrast to Maxwell’s fierce energy. She still struggles with more rugged work (as shown at the barn raising) even though she does enjoy it, because she is not used to doing such things. She has learned to be artfully clumsy, because it makes men protective of her (as her mother had stated once. The choking incident at the tea party is one such occurance, where Neville and Rashad immediately come to her aid). While they are things that have been taught and instilled in her, delicacy and feminine grace have grown to be a part of who she is now.

Macarons

While described as “light and delicate”, Hana also makes an interesting observation about the variety of flavours in the macarons, thereby highlighting her interest in new things. We see this manifested in different ways in the books. At the American bar, she seems reluctant to try freestyle dancing at first, but shimmies like nobody’s business moments later. She researches dance styles for the dance-off with Maxwell, and watches The Bachelorette in preparation for her part in Madeleine’s bachelorette celebrations. At the barn raising, she is a quick study in learning how to use a hammer, and in the camping trip this chapter, she declines taking Liam’s help in favour of figuring out how to build the tent herself. Hana, whose life has been structured and planned for a long time, now embraces these little things as adventures she can learn from.

Chocolate Cake

The cake is simple and homey, but Hana points out that it also has hidden depths that many do not always notice at first taste. Much of Hana’s background, her motivations, her confusions, lie in what she tells us in many of her background diamond scenes. Without these, she seems little more than a shy young woman who is still learning her place in the world. It’s only when our MC gets closer to her that we see her conflicts and desires beyond her parents’ expectations. This ties in perfectly with her description of the cake as “rich” and “layered”. At the same time, it also allows us to reflect on Hana’s role as a nurturer to those she cares for: passing on wisdom and simple home truths to people who need it (on multiple occasions to the MC, and occasionally in Book 2 to Penelope). Hana is at heart also a person who loves to look after those she cares for, and to pamper them as best she can.

Hana’s future has clear potential, and there are a million directions her life can go. But the fact remains that she is also someone who doubts herself and her abilities, and doesn’t know if she is capable of making an identity independent of her parents.

In the end, she leaves us with a very poignant, very penetrating question:

[lynccycling]

Humpday got you feeling down? In an uninspired funk and can’t get out? Not feeling motivated to chase your goals? We feel you, it happens. Which is why each LYNC instructor has tools to stay focused & on their game. Take a scroll down motivation lane and maybe pick up a tip or two to get you back on track.

Becca

I loooovvvvveeee taking Teddy on a walk or run (whatever Ted is feeling that day) and leaving my phone at home to be in my own headspace and one with nature if we go through Arbor Hills! I also love to listen to one of my new fav podcast “The Last Podcast on the Left” which is about anything from conspiracy theories to true crime or historical facts (history has ALWAYS been my fav subject) while cooking or cleaning around the house! Maybe its the Mexi in me but cleaning is a huge reliever for me! Clean house = happy lil becky!

Our favorite cleaning products? Mrs. Meyers infused with essential oils.

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Grace

I LOVE getting in my kitchen and cooking a yummy meal. I always start with a trip to the grocery store (probs Trader Joes) to pick up the ingredients.. I'm one of those weird humans that find grocery shopping SO therapeutic. I am currently OBSESSED with Alex from the Defined Dish, who just so happens to be a Dallas gal!  One of my favorites right now is her Shrimp Remoulade Lettuce Cups recipe! Of course, finishing it off with some healthy sweet treats, like this Banana Bread! 

This all happens while I'm listening to one of my favorite light hearted podcasts,  The Lady Gang.  When things get off track, a good belly laugh and a great healthy meal is always a great reset!

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Avery

I start my day with quiet time every morning accompanied by my devotional (@jesuscalling) and podcasts The Porch.

After quiet time, I take about 5-10 minutes every hour at work to listen to a few songs that make me happy (no shocker that Jess Glynne and Betty Who are at the top for me rn)

After work, I love walks on the Katy Trail or White Rock Lake, wine bars (leelas always) and cooking meals with my friends (favorite food blogger is definitely skinny taste). At night I try my hardest to unplug and focus on friends/family as much as possible.

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Andrew

This music definitely isn’t everyone’s thing, but the band August Burns Red has picked me up when I’m down, pushed my butt through tough workouts, gotten me focused at work, you name it, more times than I can count. Their lyrics are really powerful, and they wrote one of my all time favorites:

“Don’t excuse yourself from life today on the pretense of your past.” Let that sink in.

Alt response: I pet my dog or take him for a walk if he’s nearby, or just look at pictures of him on my phone because he’s stinking cute and it’s a good reminder that I need to keep it together for the people who love me and doggos that depend on me.

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Ashleigh

One of my favorite things to do (other than a good sweat sesh on the bike) is surfing. I used to go out to California and surf at San Clemente beach all the time when I was younger. It was a great way to slow down my mind and be focused on the present moment. HOWEVER there aren’t many beaches in d-town so I usually hop into a pool and swim it out or roll out my yoga mat at Hot Body Yoga. It’s a great way to control my breathing and something about being under water is relaxing to me.

When I need to get sh!t done, one of My favorite coffee shops is Global Peace. You can usually find me there writing or emailing with a cappuccino in hand. Also I LOVE coffee. Oh did I say love, I meant I’m addicted. Same thing right?

I’m also a BIG fan of live music and on the weekend if anyone is in town playing I try to make an effort to go out and support. It helps me get out of my head and is a good excuse to just sit back and enjoy some of my favorite tunes. My must see bands are: night riots, jet black alley cat, band Camino, State champs, Greta Van Fleet and Marianas Trench.

Look up concerts near you. One of our favorite venues? Granada theater!

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Liz

I love, and wish I did it more, putting my phone away when I’m home and being in the moment with my family (but of course grabbing it to document Noah dance parties and special memories). Five minutes with my son (if he is napped and fed 🙈) can cure five bad days. 

Between teaching/training clients/and all the hustle I also really enjoy silence. I rarely listen to music while driving nowadays because I’ve found that my mind tries to start programming and/or choreographing whenever a song is playing- so having quiet time to disconnect is important. I also love to jump in a class and go into student mode.

Check out 10 apps to help you put down your phone and get back to the moment.

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Jaz

When the weather is nice, I love doing outdoor activities and being near water! Paddle boarding, swimming, and BBQing are my go-to day-off favs. I also enjoy a homemade coffee in the morning to kick start my day and going out back to wake up and check on my pepper plants and succulents. Planting is very peaceful to me. I love watching things grow.

Check out this 101 on starting your own herb garden.

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Sydney

Outside of teaching, I love group fitness and enjoy taking classes at LYNC and around Dallas to let out nervous energy. I like to decompress by reading, listening to podcasts, and listening to LANY and John Mayer.

I listen to The Morning Toast and The Lady Gang - totally light hearted, but makes me bust out laughing in the car and puts me in a good mood before teaching.

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Kayla

To stay motivated, I read... a lot. I read everything from nonfiction true crime stories and self development books to fiction novels to self-published articles on Medium. You can catch me searching my inbox at the Barnes & Noble check-out line for a coupon for a new book or sitting at Mudleaf Coffee shop (a super cool space in Plano) with headphones in listening to Audible.

My go-to read is anything by Brené Brown (Daring Greatly is my fave). She is a vulnerability researcher, specializing in shame. (wow, couldn’t we all dive a little deeper into that?) 

I also love to listen to Gary Vee’s Podcast to keep me focused in the business world. He touches on marketing tactics, struggles in business and life, leadership development and more–and TBH he’s just brutally honest and sometimes I just need a good kick in the ass and for someone to tell it to me straight.

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Shannon

I like to take 10-15 minutes out of my morning to meditate to help level set me at the beginning of my day. My favorite app is “10% Happier” because it has courses, guided and unguided meditations and you can customize the time to whatever fits your schedule!

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Kelsey

I love a good story. I’m old school and really enjoy going to the bookstore and getting a physical copy. Lately my favorites have been ‘This Is How It Always Is’ and ‘Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine’. Put it with quiet time outside in the sun or snuggled with coffee and my puppy in the morning - foolproof feel good.

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Olivia

I love going to Title Boxing to punch out all of my feelings. Whether I need a release or am excited and want to celebrate an hour of hard work–gallons of sweat at Title is always the move for me. 

I also love to take long walks on the weekends with my fave gal pals, Allison, Leina, Izzy, and Madeline to La La Land Kind Cafe or Bird Bakery. We almost always indulge in a sweet treat which for me is the perfect way to celebrate a week well done.

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Izzy

The main thing I do at the moment to recharge is get a good nights sleep. Being in bed by 9pm really excites me, haha!

Also, getting some vitamin D and tanning by the pool on the weekends always puts me in a good mood. I usually end up falling asleep there too lol.

Catch this guided sleep meditation for a little shut eye to keep your mind right and our favorite SPF to lay out in the sun.

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Lindsey

I’d say personal time is the best way to recharge for me! I love walking the Katy Trail while getting out for some sunshine or hot yoga. Hot yoga is such a release for me because It not only calms the mind but gives me a good stretch! My favorite hot Yoga is at Core Power.

I’ve recently been loving EVERY recipe from The Defined Dish who makes clean/easy/whole30 approved meals. Her meals are so tasty and simple to make! Feel good guilty treat that is guaranteed to make any day better is ice cream!

Calling my family always lifts me up and keeps me rooted!  I also really try to put my phone down while at home for 30 minutes at the end of the day and engage in something other than scrolling mindlessly on social media which helps me reconnect with myself and surroundings.\

[snark-notes]

Book Review: Warrior of the Wild by Tricia Levenseller

Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Book site

I received an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Rasmira has trained her entire life to become a warrior and to one day take over leading her village. Yet when foul play ruins her warrior trial, she’s banished from the village, and can only return if she completes an impossible quest. This quest? To kill the god who comes each year to demand tribute from the surrounding villages. It’s absolutely impossible, but Rasmira vows to finish her trial, even if it means she must lose her life trying.

I picked up this book from Netgalley because I am a big fan of Levenseller’s work in Daughter of the Pirate King and Daughter of the Siren Queen. So a standalone fantasy novel about a badass warrior lady? How could I resist?

And I’m so glad that I didn’t. Warrior of the Wild has everything that’s charming about Levenseller’s writing but packed into one book. Since there are no (currently planned) sequels, our protagonist and her supporting cast are all allowed to grow, learn, change, and fall in love without too many of the typical hurdles that one needs in a series. Rasmira does go through trials, but seeing how she grows and deals with them is immensely satisfying.

Like Levenseller’s previous works, the pacing of this book is excellent. Action is well-timed and balanced with speaking, plot devices pay off without being ridiculous, and the love stories are sweet and sincere. I particularly liked how Levenseller wrote Rasmira’s love story because it had a believable arc to it.

Also great? The LGBTQ love story between supporting characters that is not treated as bizarre AT ALL. I’m delighted that Levenseller has written a world where love can exist openly in all forms and that there was no “we have to hide this” plot. It’s refreshing and honestly, a choice that I hope fantasy writers pick. I’ve seen increasingly more of this in fantasy lately, but I’d love to see it be the rule and not an exception.

Warrior of the Wild has cemented me as a fan of Levenseller’s work for as long as she writes.

I would recommend this book to YA fantasy fans, and those who may just like YA or fantasy to branch out with this one. If you like a good quest with an accessible fantasy world, this is definitely up your alley.

I gave it a 5/5 on my Goodreads account which translates to “It was amazing.”