#also the scale of how “romantic” any of these ships/artworks will be is probably going to be rather nebulous.

[starflungwaddledee]

I have a feeling Starstruck Dee (and perhaps you lol) are gonna go all out in February, pinks and reds, decorating and covering Dreamland with hearts

absolutely!

perhaps in all honestly more likely me than her, but if valentine's day exists she would be SUPER into it for sure, whether she understood it or not. i think she and kirby could be team Friend Hearts Everywhere and every year everybody else just wakes up February 1 to find that even their locked rooms were decorated in the night.

fwiw, i decided that i'll be celebrating this month by posting answers to various starstruck 'ship' prompts i've received! there'll be some comics, some single images, and so on!

i by no means have enough to fill the entire month yet, so i'm still taking suggestions, and i'll attempt to do as many as i can! i'm not sure if i can feasibly maintain One A Day but i'll do my best!

[aroworlds]

Aro-Spec Artist Profile: Luthyx

Our next aro-spec creator is @luthyx​, who also goes by Petrichlorine and MUSE-42. They’re better known on this blog for sharing snippets from an in-progress work called Sanction the Skies, celebrating all things a-spec and dragon!

Luthyx is a transmasculine, agender aro-ace creative with mental illnesses, specialising in speculative fiction and digital art, the latter both original and fancontent (primarily for How to Train Your Dragon). You can find their gorgeous art on their DeviantArt account and their writing at @sanctiontheskies​, currently featuring artwork, maps and a wealth of worldbuilding and characterisation teasers. Lastly, if you enjoy Flight Rising, you can check out their dragons under the name Luthyx!

With us Luthyx talks their confidence in their aromanticism, the need to live an authentic life on their terms, the way their characters and worlds become part of them, and writing spec fic as an aro. Their determination to craft and make as they need sparkles in every word and dragon scale, so please let’s give them all our love, encouragement, gratitude, kudos and follows for taking the time to explore what it is to be aromantic and creative.

Can you share with us your story in being aro-spec?

My tale is a fairly straightforward one. By the time I was of the age that most people started experiencing their first crushes, I’d moved to a different state and begun taking an online school, free of the peer pressure that lies ever-present in most traditional classrooms.

Even then, as I began to develop my skills and passion for writing, I’d already begun to see the influence of the omnipresent Romantic Subplot. It was everywhere: books, film, music, poems. I couldn’t so much as flip on the radio without hearing a disillusioned, autotuned cry for help healing a broken heart. I hated it. I still do.

It quickly became apparent to me that I wasn’t like the others. Every once and a while, my mom would drag me to her church, where I’d be forced to endure the company of undisciplined tween boys and catty, Twilight-obsessed girls. It was the girls especially that caught my attention: the sheer passion and fervency with which they discussed who they found hot, what Hogwarts house they were in, and their critiques and praise of The Hunger Games. I found it absurd to objectify people, fantasy or real, like that.

I think this was probably about the time I began to realize that I was agender, too, but that’s a story for another day. Thankfully, I’d already become a headstrong, independent teenager, and I was proud to say that I was different, that my interests were in something that, in my head, was much more important and much more intense than those of others my age.

I can’t recall the first time I heard the term aromantic or the first day that I applied it to myself. I think, deep down, I always knew, and I’ve always been astoundingly proud of it. To me, romance isn’t the be-all-and-end-all of things, but just another life experience I haven’t had, like owning fourteen chihuahuas or going on a warm summer vacation to the Middle East. Not everybody wants to experience those things, and society is completely fine with it - I see no reason as to why they should feel differently about romantic relationships, but I suppose they do. Dealing with the fallout of that bias is their problem.

I am me, and the me I know will not be held down by stereotypes, will not conform to any sort of life script I am handed, will not feel sorrow or remorse for a single experience lost. I’m here for a good time, and my idea of a good time involves doing what I love. Romance is not on that list.

Can you share with us the story behind your creativity?

My creative streak started young. For as long as I’ve known it, I’ve been drawing characters and writing stories. Mind you, the first stories were about Littlest Pet Shop figures and were written with the help of my parents, but it was a start nonetheless. Art, in its many different forms, has always been my form of self-expression. I often wandered off into my imaginary world when I got bored, and when I went to sleep every night, I’d often spend hours just imagining characters doing as they do before drifting off to sleep. I still do that every night - like clockwork.

I think it was when I was in my early teens - thirteen or fourteen, maybe - that I decided I wanted to be a writer. I recall turning to my mother one night and saying, “I wish I could write a book,” still believing that I was too young to attempt such a thing yet. “Nobody says you can’t do it right now!” were the words she gave back to me, and then off I started.

The project I started then is one that’s still ongoing now - a series of books I call Sanction the Skies, featuring dragons, wars, and a good hunk of divine intervention. I’ve worked and reworked it ever since that fateful day, improving the lore, changing the characters, watching my perspective of them evolve and change alongside me. They are a part of me, through and through.

It hasn’t been the easiest journey, but I’m still chipping away at it, ever-determined. It’s been doubly hard to follow my dream because of all of the messages about how impossible it is to be a writer in this day and age, and that you can’t do it without a well-paying side job. My stubborn self says, “To hell with you!” and works on it anyway. I want to write, to draw, to forge, to craft, and the world be damned if it tries to stand in my way.

Are there any particular ways your aro-spec experience is expressed in your art?

The only way it’s expressed is in my writing, where almost all of my characters are explicitly aro. The Romantic Subplot is a tiresome, often badly-done trope, and I’d like to steer away from it altogether. I want to show that a friendship is not worth less than a romance, and that a good story can still be told without the boy getting the girl - or the girl getting the girl for the sake of progressiveness.

What challenges do you face as an aro-spec artist?

Honestly? Not much, at least not yet. I think I may face a bit of pushback in the future because my novel features no romance, but overall, I’ll probably be fine in that regard.

How do you connect to the aro-spec and a-spec communities as an aro-spec person?

I rarely connect with them at all, honestly. Most of the discussion I see is either people screaming about amatonormativity or people asking, “Am I asexual/aromantic if…?” Alternatively, there’s people discussing their experience being partially a-spec or aro-spec, none of which I can relate to. All I want is a place to revel in my identity, to be able to talk about anything BUT romance, to form strong friendships.

Sometimes it hurts me to think that the friends I have now will soon find romantic partners, and I’ll be left behind in the dust as a third wheel. I hope my friends won’t do that, that perhaps I can still make myself heard - but who knows? I’ve had no luck with finding any other aro-spec people in my region at all, unfortunately, so the internet is all I’ve got in that regard. I’ll just have to wait and see what the future holds!

How do you connect to your creative community as an aro-spec person?

I find I connect somewhat decently. I write fantasy and sci-fi, which generally seem to be more acceptable genres to have a lack of romance, especially when a pair of dragons are the main characters. It is alienating from many fandoms, though, because they often focus so much on the romantic partnerships and shipping. Almost every blocked tag in my dash concerns ships, kissing, hugging, romance, children, and anything related to those.

Can you share with us something about your current project?

Ohoho, this is a fun one! Well, right now, I’m working on re-writing Chapter One for the trillionth time after giving the town it takes place in a complete and utter overhaul. I’m also working on making a short comic that takes place in the universe of the book but is unrelated to the main plot, though it features characters and locations that may be explored in future books. I want to do the comic in the hopes of gaining some traction and interest in the books, since I’m rather horrible at advertising at the moment.

Have you any forthcoming works we should look forward to?

Again, the comic! It’s about a con artist who incurs the wrath of the demigodess of misfortune after a con resulted in the death of a sick hatchling. There’s also some stuff with an ancient, precursor species of dragons and one of their final remaining sanctuaries.

[mild-lunacy]

Fan Writing and the Fix It Principle

I really resonate with this comic about creativity and people's happiness a lot. It's important to make people happy with art; that's one of art's oldest and most important functions. Happy endings and comedies in general can ultimately help people heal, and that's what I want too, although I've never actually set out to make my audience happy or sad with my work. My rather frequently humorous work is only funny because it makes *me* laugh. I've written many comedies, and it's mostly because I love wit and can't make myself be sour and dour 24/7. To me, that's just a waste of my good mood, my intelligence, not to mention my time. But neither do I generally care to make my favorite characters happy, except for a very few exceptions. Even then (in the case of my one exception, ie Harry Potter), I would never alter what I consider to be a natural or believable progression of someone's life, or 'fix' things that aren't broken, even if they're painful sometimes.

Happy endings and humor aren't things that exist apart from painful realities. My favorite thing about humor is how it helps us heal and find joy in life, and this is meaningful because life often sucks. If life didn't suck and people weren't frequently assholes, humor wouldn't mean much or matter that much, either. Happy endings in fiction are powerful because they give us hope and make suffering feel worthwhile, not because it's commonplace in reality or conversely simply a part of some genre. There's an interdependence between angst and humor, gritty realism and fairy-tale idealism. These things draw their power from the other end of the scale.

Anyway, I suppose this all sounds super abstract and rather inoffensive, except I'm writing in response to some Johnlock shippers wanting to 'fix' Sherlock Series 4 by making Sherlock happy with someone other than John. And it's not like I aim to actually stop people from writing or reading what they like, obviously, but the underlying approach to fiction, relationships, and the characters of Sherlock and John (even aside from the obvious disagreement we have over the quality of Series 4) is something that makes it difficult for me to participate in fandom. That is, like I described, this is the opposite of what I value and I care about with fanfic in general and about these characters in particular.

I'm always someone who very emphatically doesn't multi-ship, of course. I may dip my toe in (particularly in writing fics myself) as an experiment or a challenge, but I've never actually read non-OTP fanfic in my life, and I've read a whole metric ton of fanfic through the years. So I know I'm an outlier even among shippers. I can at least *understand* multi-shipping, though, even if not in Sherlock or The Raven Cycle. Sometimes a character does have delicious, fascinating chemistry and potential with more than one person in a given canon. I'd never argue against it unless a particular ship or character was being misunderstood or misrepresented in this process (one obvious example is of a gay character shipped with someone of the opposite sex).

The idea of simply making Sherlock happy with someone (anyone!) other than John is something else, though. It's misrepresenting and misunderstanding both John and Sherlock, and his needs and personality on a fundamental level, but it's also something I disagree with philosophically. It's taking sex and/or romance to be a 'reward' for the handsome male hero, which is particularly unfortunate to apply to Sherlock Holmes, of all characters. Of course, that's always been a broad social trend across all types of media. More specifically, that's also a really common thing in and out of fandom (see all the Irene Adler romances in most modern adaptations), but that doesn't mean I'm any more open to the impulse than I was the first time I saw it.

I guess my point is, neither people nor fictional characters are paper dolls, and their happiness and fulfillment are themselves complex and individual phenomena. Humor is individual too, in that people have different senses of humor: what makes one person laugh wouldn't work on another. Similarly, what makes one person (say, John) happy wouldn't necessarily work for Sherlock. And of course, being married to Mary didn't make John happy anyway; he was fundamentally wrong about what he wanted because he was in denial about himself and wanted to perform a persona, but couldn't quite inhabit it the way Sherlock inhabited his own. Their mutual happiness is a long, drawn out process that's been ongoing since ASiP (and finally culminated in their conversation in TLD), and it's actually silly to think some random person or a convenient former romantic interest from Sherlock's past could waltz in and finish what John started: making Sherlock personally fulfilled and fully human.

Not to belabor the obvious, but people aren't replaceable, and fictional characters even moreso. There's usually an underlying reason some characters have the canon interactions or reactions that they do. This reason is what you have to understand to change those reactions or relationships believably. And I'm assuming believability is desirable if the goal is to 'fix' something about canon in the first place.

For me, it always comes down to believability, even aside from my extreme mono-shipper nature, which I've never denied. It can be hard to untangle the threads of my defensiveness about my OTP (being the only Light and the Way, etc) and my more rational disagreement with the characterization shortcuts fans can take to force certain non-canon pairings to happen at all, let alone to make it so the character's focus and happiness are transferred to this new person. This actually happens whether or not I myself ship the non-canon pairing or want it to happen; I'm always concerned that all romances and happy endings are truly justified and believable, even though I think sometimes most shippers give up and believe the only way is the OOC highway. This is probably why canonical female love interests are so often discounted, dismissed, and written as harpies (or just lesbians) in slash fic. Same thing happens to central canon male friendships (like John and Sherlock, naturally) in het fanon romances, too. People think that to make a favorite character happy *their* way, the only way forward is through, so to speak.

I guess my underlying belief is that you can only take the characters so far in order to fix things for them, and no further, at least if you want them to be themselves (outside a total AU, I mean). Given the canon set of circumstances and events, the options for resolution narrow as time goes on. Some options will fall away with time. Some things may happen, but would wreak severe havoc (for Sherlock to have John die would leave him free, but he wouldn't be happy, for example). It's an underlying fact of the narrative that John and Sherlock need each other to be happy, and it doesn't require me to be a Johnlock shipper to say so. Any fic or meta or artwork that contradicts this basic fact ceases to be a genuinely canon-compliant fanwork and loses any chance of really making Sherlock happy, because (of course) that's no longer Sherlock. Fundamentally, a fan writer can't reject the narrative and simultaneously fix its issues, because in order to make significant changes, deep understanding is necessary.

Like I said, I do think that the *drive* towards characters being happy and fulfilled, and the desire to inject humor and love into bleak or depressing stories is natural and good. This is what stories are for. Further, the urge to fix broken stories and make them our own is deeply natural, meaningful and healing as well. I just strongly think that stories being meaningful also requires being deeply honest, to the characters and their canon as well as to the process of how feelings in general operate. There's going to be inevitable, inherent and even necessary darkness in any honest narrative of that nature, like there was in Series 4. But that doesn't mean there's no path to the light, at that point. To the contrary: it's in the darkness that the light truly shines brightest, as that comic showed so beautifully in the first place.

[hkvoyage]

Fic: Butterfly Wings - Chapter 30

Story summary A fashion blog started at University launched Blaine Anderson’s fortune and fame. As Vogue’s new editor-in-chief, he is struggling to find an original angle for an upcoming issue. Kurt Hummel has recently arrived in New York City after finishing high school, and is having no luck building a musical theater career, so he decides to explore another passion of his: fashion. He applies for an internship at Vogue, and Isabelle sees in him the perfect fresh face to liven up the magazine, and convinces him to try out as a model. Kurt meets Blaine, and in spite of their 10-year age difference, sparks fly. Can they overcome misunderstandings and sabotage to find their happily-ever-after? Klaine model AU. Rating for this chapter: General (overall story is mature) Word count for this chapter: 6,140 Can also be read on A03 / FF Masterpost is here. The fantastic artwork produced by Cassie at CC-Graphics can be here.   Thank you to the amazing @lilyvandersteen for the beta work and support. ***** Surprise! I want Kurt and Blaine back together in this story as much as you do! Therefore, you’ll be getting two updates a week until they reunite. 

***** “As a kid I quite fancied the romantic, Bohemian idea of being an artist. I expect I thought I could escape from the difficulties of maths and spelling. Maybe I thought I would avoid the judgment of the establishment.” - Peter Wright February “I can’t believe I already have 1,850 followers for Surf’s Up! and every day I get more. I only posted a couple of comics on Tumblr a week ago.”

“I told you the webcomic would be a hit. I’m sure it helped that we blogged about it on our Krian accounts,” Blaine replies. “I have a few ideas for the story, but nothing has prepared me for the comments. I’m not sure what to do, because everyone wants Biffy and Jamie to get together.” “It’s way too early, Sam. The guys haven’t even come out of the closet! Don’t you know that the ship gets together at the end?” “Will readers really want to wait until the end? How do I keep the plot going?” “Sam, it’s pretty basic. Use the OMENS plan - Obliviousness, Missed chances, External factors beyond their control, No effective communication, and Smut in small doses. That usually works.” “Cool. I guess it’s the same formula for most Krian fics. It takes a while to create the comics, so I won’t post anything new for another month. Will people wait that long for an update?” Sam asks. Blaine thinks this question over carefully. He really wants Sam to succeed with his Surfs Up! webcomic. “It’s hard to say with only a couple of comics posted, but I have an idea. Why don’t you set up some dummy Twitter accounts for the main characters and get them chatting to each other? It would be an easy way of filling people in on their backgrounds and how they think about things. Give links to the Twitter accounts on your Tumblr master post and people will flock over to see what it’s about. You can even have a few scheduled Twitter Q&A sessions to answer questions about ‘Jiffy’.” “Hey, man. That’s a cool idea. I need to find something to do now that I can’t read KrianFeel’s fics.” “Did I hear you right?! You’re no longer reading KrianFeel’s fics? I never thought this day would come!” “Mercedes has banned me from reading them during her pregnancy. Something about not wanting to deal with so much kinky action in the bedroom.” “Then I’m not going to tell you about yesterday’s update...” “What happened, Blaine? I need all the deets!” Blaine laughs at Sam’s commitment to the story. “The chapter starts with Kevin and Brian doing homework together at their apartment in New York City. They both look up at the same time and realize that all their roommates are out… And they are alone for once. Brian waggles his eyebrows and Kevin gives him that smile – the one he uses when he understands what’s going to happen. The next thing you know, Kevin has Brian spread out on the couch, slowly stripping him of his clothes. Kevin starts to blow Brian, but then at the critical moment – at least from Brian’s point of view because he’s about to climax - Stan returns home. What a cock-block! It ends with a scene where Kevin tells Brian that Stan’s got to find his own place to live.” “Sounds like a filler chapter, so I didn’t miss much,” Sam replies with a deep sigh. So, how’s Mercedes doing? Is the pregnancy coming along nicely?” “That’s why I called you, dude. We went to the doctor’s this morning and Mercedes had a sonogram. I could see the baby! She’s about six inches long, and I could see her head. I could even hear her heartbeat!” “You know the sex of the baby? I thought that wasn’t possible for another month or so,” Blaine asks. “Nope, we don’t know for sure, but I’m certain it’s a girl. I want the baby to be a girl like Mercedes.” “Awww…” Blaine coos. “So dude, I wanted to ask you something important. Will you be baby Evans’ godfather?” “Oh my god! Absolutely! I’m so honored that you asked me.” “Of course I’m asking you. You’re my best bro. Mercedes definitely wants the baby baptized, and I’ll let you know the deets closer to the time. It will probably be after Mercedes’ national tour.” “Count me in. So how is the country and western singing going? Have you found any regular gigs?” “It’s hard to get into the country music scene in LA. I’d be much better off in Nashville, but that isn’t going to happen any time soon. Not with Mercedes recording and going on tour so soon after the baby is born. I’ll need to take care of my baby girl then.” There’s a pause in the conversation and Blaine can tell that Sam is thinking about how to break into the country music business. However, he waits patiently, because Sam will confide in him when he’s ready. “So what’s up with you, Blaine? I saw some pictures of you on Instagram with some tall hot dude.” “Oh… I went out a couple of times with a lawyer I met when I was signing the paperwork for the Westerville Monarch House. Connor is a really great guy, but I’m not sure if I’m going to see him again.” “Why the hell not?” “I like Connor a lot, but he’s never going to be the special one in my life, because he’s not…” “Kurt. Blaine, I know it’s tough but you’ve got to move on. Maybe Connor is your rebound guy.” “Connor doesn’t deserve to be somebody’s rebound guy. I really don’t feel ready to move on. I don’t think I ever will.” “Promise me that you’ll give Connor a chance and go on a few more dates. It’s not like you’re doing anything else and it beats staying home by yourself.” “Maybe,” Blaine sighs. He knows he should give Connor more time to see if things will develop. “Maybe what you need is a change in scenery. Come visit me in LA. It will be totally awesome! I can teach you how to surf and you can hook up with some of the dudes. They’re pretty buff and I’m sure they wouldn’t mind being your holiday rebound guy.” “Thanks for the offer, but I don’t want a holiday rebound guy either. I’d love to hang out with you, but I just took some time off in India and went home for Christmas. I’m saving all my vacation time this year for when the Monarch House in Westerville opens.” “Just remember, you’re always welcome to stay.” ***** “Did you see the photos I sent you?” Michael asks. “Yeah, Dad. Monarch House really looks like a construction site now. I can’t believe the renovations already started this week.” “Believe it, son. I’ve gone every day after work to see how it’s progressing. Meagan is handling everything well. I think she’s going to make a brilliant director of the Monarch House. She might not have any experience with a project of this scale, but she’s smart, super organized and really committed.” “I have you and Mom to thank for getting everything sorted out. I could never have done it without you… Both of you. I can’t believe that you got the planning permission through so fast.” “You can thank Burt Hummel for that. It’s amazing what a call from a Congressman can do.” “You know Burt Hummel? Do you know he’s my Kurt’s father?” “I didn’t know Burt before this project. When the press release went out for the purchase of Monarch House, Burt called me. He said he was 100% behind the concept and would help in any way he could. When I mentioned we were waiting for the city council to approve all the plans, Burt said he knew the Westerville mayor very well - something about helping out his teenage daughter when her car broke down one snowy night in Lima. The very next day, the mayor called me and said the plans had been approved.” “Wow, I guess it does pay to have friends in high places. You didn’t… umm… discuss us as well?” “Of course we did, Blaine. How could we not? It was mostly pleasantries about how Kurt is doing in Paris and how you’re doing in New York City. One thing I’ll say is that if Kurt is anything like Burt, you know how to pick them. Burt seems like a decent and honest man.” “Well, don’t leave me hanging, Dad! What is the news on Kurt?” “Kurt is settling in nicely and boarding at an old lady’s house in Central Paris. He’s about to start his first modeling job with Dior. I think it’s a perfume ad. He also has a job for the Paris Fashion Week. Kurt is making friends and exploring the city.” “I wish I was doing that with him.” “All in good time, Blaine. Don’t lose hope. Kurt is so young. You have to give him some breathing space to experience Paris on his own. But make sure he knows that he’s still very much in your thoughts and heart.” “I’m not sure how to do that, Dad. Kurt is living on another continent.” “Tweet him, send him something that has a special meaning for the two of you. You’re a smart man, Blaine. You’ll think of something. Andersons are like the Canadian Mounties – we always get our man. Ha! I never thought I would be using that expression to describe one of our love lives.” Blaine rolls his eyes as he chuckles. That sounded a bit awkward, but he knows that his father means well. ***** Blaine has been feeling out of sorts all day. It’s been exactly one year since Isabelle brought one Kurt Hummel to his office as Vogue’s ‘fresh face’. At the time, Blaine had never suspected that his life would be both shaken and stirred. However, life hasn’t been the same since that fateful day. Until September, Blaine has spent most his free time with Kurt and has fallen deeply and irrevocably in love. Blaine has mixed feelings about the fateful night of the diva-off. He was so happy when Kurt finally kissed him. Sure, things went a little too far, but he was so lost in his emotions that there was no way he could pull back. When they left the theater, Blaine felt optimistic about his and Kurt’s future together. Then the ‘Klainegate’ video hit the Internet the next day, and nothing has been the same since. In hindsight, Blaine thinks that he should have gone after Kurt as soon as he left Vogue – when he was at Elle and still in New York City. However, at the time, Blaine felt hurt that Kurt had cut him off so completely by accepting the Elle job, moving and changing phone numbers. When Blaine finally decided to seek out Kurt in Ohio and see if things could be mended, he discovered that Kurt had moved to Paris. So exactly one year later, Blaine is just where he was this time last year. Alone. Blaine reflects on the telephone conversation he had with his dad a few days ago. As much as he wants to book a ticket on the next flight to Paris, his dad is right. Kurt is young and should experience Paris on his own for a while. But that doesn’t mean that he can’t let Kurt know that he’s thinking of him… missing him… wanting him. Blaine just needs to find subtle ways of getting that message across. Thinking that there’s no time like the present, Blaine tweets A year ago today, @KurtHummel walked into my office and life hasn’t been the same since. #InstantConnection, #FriendsForever Connor invited him out to the Comedy Cellar to see Ben Bailey do his standup show, but Blaine declined the invitation, knowing he would be poor company tonight. No-one wants to be with someone feeling blue in a place that’s supposed to make you happy. He had promised Amy he wouldn’t stay home by himself tonight – she emphasized that it wasn’t productive to drown in his sorrow. Blaine knows of only one place where he wouldn’t feel out of place this Saturday night, so he gets ready for a night out. ***** Blaine enters the Treble Club Jazz Club and takes a seat at the far end of the bar. It’s the perfect place to sit on such a busy night, hidden in the corner, but still able to see the stage. “Hey, Blaine. What will you have tonight?” the bartender asks, placing a coaster on the bar in front of him. “Not sure. I’m not in a bourbon and soda mood. Any suggestions?” The bartender nods and spends a minute or two mixing a cocktail. When he slides the tall glass towards Blaine, he merely says, “The Never-Ending Story.” Blaine sees a shimmer in the drink and gives the bartender a quizzical look. “It’s basically a Long Island Iced Tea but with Unicorn Tears gin instead of… well, gin. Blaine slowly nods, because whoever knew there would be a gin liqueur called Unicorn Tears. However, his attention is soon on Marley Rose, who steps onto the stage. She sings a long set - a mixture of soulful slow love songs and more upbeat country blues ones. Once the set is over and the encore performance has been sung, Marley Rose slowly makes her way over to the corner of the bar. “Blaine, what are the chances of you coming here three Saturday nights in a row? You’d think that you didn’t have half of New York’s eligible bachelors knocking at your door.” ‘New York Fashion Week is starting soon and so I’ll be out every night. Today’s a special day, and I didn’t want to be with anybody. Besides, I like it here - I like listening to you sing.” Marley Rose smiles at Blaine and takes a sip from her drink. Blaine is relieved that she gets it – she knows that he’s thinking about Kurt but doesn’t want to talk about him. “How’s the song-writing coming along? I was so excited when you told me before Christmas that you were playing the piano and composing again.” Blaine bows his head and places his two palms on his forehead. “I’m enjoying playing the piano, but the song-writing is another matter altogether. I actually composed a song called ‘I'm Never Saying Goodbye to You’. It is so melancholy that I had even considered submitting it to Adele. Song-writing is unleashing emotions that feel too personal and raw. I’ve got to figure a way out of this funk.” Marley Rose squeezes his shoulder and gives him an encouraging smile. “Maybe we can both do each other a favor. I’ve written the lyrics to a song called ‘All or Nothing’. I’m thinking that it needs upbeat music to accompany it, but I can’t figure out for the life of me a single musical note. Perhaps you could help me?” “Why not? E-mail me the lyrics and I’ll see what I can do.” ***** Blaine wakes up early Sunday morning, thankful that he had only one ‘Never-Ending Story’ drink last night. After a run in Central Park and a shower, he opens his e-mail and notices a new message from Marley Rose. True to her promise, she has sent him the lyrics to her new song. Blaine pours over the lyrics as he eats his breakfast. Then, with a newfound energy, he sits down at the piano. After doing his usual warmup exercises, he starts to compose the music. I can't stay here I am not the girl Who runs and hides Afraid of what could be And I will go there I need time, but know That things are always closer Than they seem Now I'll do more than dream yeah! The lyrics resonate with him, and he can’t help but wonder if the full story with Kurt has been told, or if there’s a new chapter waiting in the future. He hums out possible music to go with the rest of the song. Once he has an idea of where the composition is going, he switches on the mic and starts recording.

That it's All or nothing All or nothing Cause this is my life I'm not gonna live it twice There's no in-between Take it too extreme Blaine spends the rest of the day making minor adjustments and re-recording. When he’s satisfied with the end result, he sends Marley a text. Got my muse back and composed the music for the song. Want to meet tomorrow night to hear it? B 

Gathering all his courage, Blaine attaches the audio file to an e-mail for Wes with the following message: I’ve been working on my music again. Marley Rose wrote the lyrics and I’ve composed the music. It’s something that I want Kurt to hear. Could you please forward this to him? Thanks – B. ***** “Prêt sur le plateau,” the photographer calls out when the lighting is ready. “Ready on set,” Louis, his Parisian agent, whispers to Kurt. “Don’t worry, there are only a dozen or so things that you’ll need to learn in French. You’ll pick those up quickly today.” Louis and Kurt step out onto the rooftop of a skyscraper, with the cityscape of Paris in the background. Kurt is freezing, as the sun is weak on this winter’s day, but he’s thankful that the wind is blowing only softly. Kurt is wearing a charcoal-gray suit with a simple white shirt. Instead of a tie, the first three buttons are undone, exposing his neck and his upper chest. Fortunately, it’s slightly warmer with the photography lights beaming at him. Kurt is surprised at the traditional poses he’s asked to take – standing near the guard rail, adjusting his shirt cuffs, lifting up the jacket lapels, and stuff like that. It all seems so easy after posing for Elle on the dance pole. “I want the faraway look. Like you are thinking about a beautiful femme, or homme. And face the city.” Kurt turns and leans his upper half on the guard rail, taking in the mix of historic and modern buildings of Paris. There is only one person to think of to give him ‘the faraway look’ – Blaine. He calculates the time in New York City and wonders if Blaine is awake yet. Is he alone in his penthouse or waking up with the new man in his life? Kurt has seen photos on Instagram and Twitter of Blaine out and about with a tall and good-looking man. They weren’t taken at high-profile events, but rather at coffee shops, the theater and local restaurants. Blaine looks comfortable around this new man, but something’s missing. There’s no hand-holding or shared smiles – nothing to indicate they are lovers… yet. Kurt had zoomed one of the photos and stared at Blaine’s eyes, for they are always so expressive. Blaine’s eyes look warm, but they lack the sparkle – the way they used to sparkle when Kurt and Blaine were together. “Cut. We’ll take a 30-minute break to warm up. The look was parfait, Kurt.” Kurt dashes inside and goes down one flight of stairs, where the model prep area has been set up. Louis immediately comes over and throws a wool blanket around his shoulders. “Kurt, don’t look sad. You were magnificent on set. The Dior manager is very pleased with the shoot,” Louis says. “I’m not sad about the photo shoot. I was thinking about someone towards the end of the session, and I miss him.” “The world is a small place. Why don’t you invite him to Paris to visit you? After this photo shoot, you have two weeks before you’re needed for the next job. Paris can be very romantic, even in the winter.” “I wish that it was that easy, Louis. But the man that I miss has found another.” “Impossible! There is no such thing as finding another after you.” “That’s not what the photos on Instagram and Twitter say.” Louis goes off to get Kurt a hot drink from the canteen. Kurt desperately wishes that Blaine was here in Paris - but Blaine isn’t, and no amount of wishing is going to change that. Kurt finds his phone and opens Twitter. He’s surprised when he reads the tweet from Blaine, reminding him that they met exactly a year ago. Has it really been that long? Blaine’s message has been retweeted thousands of times, with #klaine tagged. Kurt tosses his phone aside when he reads the retweet, Why aren’t my babies together? Before reading the tweet, Kurt thought that Blaine had moved on with his life, with brand-new projects and a brand-new man. But maybe the tweet means that Blaine misses him? He picks up his phone and retweets Blaine’s message, And what an amazing year it’s been. #InstantConnection, #BucketLists, #GoodTimes, #FriendsForever ***** “How did the photo shoot go, Kurt?” “It went really well, Dad, although it was shot outside and it’s cold here. The ad is going to hit the March issue of the magazines.” “Let me know which ones so I can go out and buy ‘em.” “The ad will definitely be in the American issues of Vogue and Elle.” “Then I’ll buy Vogue next month.” Kurt laughs when he notices his dad’s earnest expression, obvious even through Skype. “You’re probably Blaine’s number one fan.” “Of course I am. I really respect what he’s doing in Westerville with that Monarch House project. We had a long chat about it, and I think I might be able to convince him to open the next one in Lima.” “Wait a minute, when did you have a long chat with Blaine?” Kurt can see his dad take off his cap and rub his head nervously. “I wasn’t supposed to tell you about that.” Kurt wraps his arms around his waist and arches one eyebrow. “About what, Dad?” “After I dropped you off at the airport last month, Blaine came to the house looking for you. When I said that you were on your way to Paris, he looked as if his world was ending. Blaine was a mess. A snow storm started and I couldn’t send him back to Westerville in that state, so he spent the night.” Kurt shakes his head. He wishes that his dad had told him about this earlier. “And you just talked about his Monarch House project?” “No, of course not. It was all I could do to convince him not to jump on the first plane to Paris.” “Blaine wanted to come to Paris?” “Of course he did. Blaine is crazy about you. However, I convinced him that you need this time to figure out things for yourself.” Kurt rushes through the rest of the conversation because he wants some time on his own to think about this. When he gets off Skype with his dad, he heads down a floor and runs himself a hot bath. Once he’s soaking in a tub filled with his favorite lavender-scented bath oil, he thinks about what his dad told him. Kurt wonders what his reaction would have been if his dad had told him that Blaine came over when he had first arrived in Paris. He probably would have taken the first plane back. But his dad was right… He does need this time to experience new things and to gain a perspective on his relationship with Blaine. Kurt steps out of the tub and gets into his nightwear. After doing the long version of his nightly moisturizing routine, he heads back upstairs and crawls under the warm down duvet on his bed. Not everything his dad said made sense though. If Blaine is so gutted about Kurt moving to Paris, why is he dating another man? Why is it only now that Blaine is tweeting him? Kurt knows that Blaine is sentimental, so he must still like Kurt to remember the day they first met. But does Blaine like him just as a friend or could there be more between them? ***** “Café au lait et un petit pain au chocolat, s'il vous plaît (A coffee with milk and a chocolate-filled bun, please),” Kurt requests, sitting at the famous Café de Flore on Paris’ Left Bank. Kurt has switched his usual grande non-fat mocha order to something he feels sounds more adult. Besides, the flaky croissant pastry with fine dark chocolate chunks on the inside satisfies his sweet tooth. “Mon chouchou, I’m sorry I’m late. I was painting François and lost track of time,” Antoine apologizes as he slides into the seat across from Kurt. He snaps his fingers to grab the attention of the garçon and orders a double expresso. “Of course, I would prefer to paint a portrait of you,” Antoine adds with a wink. Kurt gives Antoine a tight-lipped smile. This isn’t the first-time Antoine has asked him to pose for one of his paintings. However, Kurt feels uncomfortable posing in the nude. Although Antoine promises he can cover up his ‘bits’, it doesn’t feel right that the first man to see him naked would be like this. Antoine hints at it, but never pushes, and Kurt is grateful for that. Kurt has met up with Antoine a dozen times since they properly met at the afternoon tea with Emmeline. They’ve played the tourist on the Left Bank and visited the Pantheon, the Sorbonne University and The Invalids. They’ve strolled through the Jardin des Plantes (“we must return in the spring when the first flowers blossom”). They’ve also explored the little shops and boutiques in hidden streets that Antoine knows so well. They have gone to clubs and bars and met up with Antoine’s friends. Wherever they go, Kurt notices that Antoine always attracts a crowd. His easy-going nature, good looks, and natural charm draw everyone to him like a magnet, women and men alike. Antoine has always been a perfect gentleman towards Kurt and makes sure that he’s included in the conversations, introducing him to his friends, who are artists, writers, musicians, chefs, and professional students. Kurt always enjoys himself with Antoine’s friends and is curious about their lifestyle. They seem to live in the moment, without thinking about the future. This isn’t a bit like he was raised in Lima, Ohio – where commitment and family are what really matter. “Mon chouchou, I have an idée magnifique (magnificent idea) for next Saturday if the weather is beautiful. Everyone must experience the Château de Versailles.” “I’d love to visit the palace where Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette were married. It’s on my bucket list of places to visit in Paris.” Kurt bites his lip and wishes he’d never mentioned his bucket list – that’s something special between Blaine and himself. However, remembering the photos of Blaine with the new man in his life, Kurt is determined to get past Blaine and his feelings towards him. ***** Kurt is glad that he downloaded the audio guide app of the Versailles Palace the previous night. Kurt and Antoine have toured all the impressive areas inside the palace - the King’s Apartments, the Hall of Mirrors, the Queen’s Apartments, and the Chapel, but also lesser known areas such as the Gallery of Battles, and the apartments of Louis XV’s daughters. “This palace is so ornate and over the top. I can’t believe the royal family could live like this for a hundred years.” “Now you know why the French Revolution happened. Come with me, mon chouchou. We now need to explore les jardins (the gardens). If Kurt thought the palace itself was over the top and impressive, nothing has prepared him for the gardens. There are meticulous manicured lawns with paved paths creating intricate designs. The flower beds are mainly empty on this winter’s weekend, but the shrubs provide sufficient greenery. There are statues in small pools of water dotted throughout the gardens. “And I thought the palace was the main attraction. These gardens are something else altogether,” Kurt observes. “We’ve only seen a small portion of the gardens. There are almost 2,000 acres at the Château de Versailles. We’ve visited the most famous parts.” Antoine checks his watch and then adds, “Come with me. Let’s grab some lunch.” They stop in a small café, get ham and cheese baguettes and mineral water to go, and return to the gardens. They sit on a wrought iron bench, which is cold. However, Antoine soon has Kurt laughing with jokes and trivia about Marie Antoinette. “I had absolutely no idea that the children’s song ‘Jack and Jill’ was about Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette getting beheaded. It certainly puts a different slant to ‘and Jill came tumbling after’.” Suddenly, classical music is heard from speakers throughout the gardens and the swishing sound of water starts. Kurt looks up and sees the fountains come to life with spouting water. “You are in luck, mon chouchou. Usually the fountains aren’t switched on until spring.” Kurt puts the remainder of his baguette into his messenger bag and rushes from fountain to fountain to see the spectacular water shows. He makes sure to see the Latone, Saturn, Apollo and Neptune fountains. Antoine remains on the bench and laughs at Kurt’s enthusiasm as he takes photo after photo. The train journey back to Paris takes just over an hour and they arrive at the Left Bank in the late afternoon. “The day is still young. Come to my studio, Kurt. I’ll cook dinner and show you my artwork.” Kurt agrees and they wander back to Antoine’s place. After climbing the stairs up to the fourth floor, Antoine quickly opens the door and leads Kurt in. It is a large studio apartment. Half the space is taken by canvases, easels, and paints. The wooden floors are old and unrestored, with oil paint splatters making interesting patterns. There’s an old upholstered couch and a large king-sized bed, which are surrounded by studio lights – Kurt guesses this is also used for the models. There is a small kitchenette along one side and a door leading to the bathroom. “It’s modest, but it works for me. When I get inspired, I can paint right away. I’m planning to make a cassoulet for dinner. Have you eaten this before? “No, what is it?” “I think you Americans would say pork and beans, but it’s a lot more than this. It takes a while to cook, so let me get the casserole prepared and then we can relax.” Kurt helps Antoine with the prep work by chopping onions, carrots, tomatoes, and garlic. Antoine combines this with cubes of pork, ham, beans, and fresh herbs into a cast iron casserole dish and slides it into the oven. He then pours Campari and mineral water in two glasses to create an aperitif. “Santé, mon chouchou,” Antoine toasts as he clinks their glasses together. Antoine takes Kurt by the hand and leads him to the coach. Antoine then heads to the studio’s corner, where there are at least a dozen oil paintings leaning on the wall in the corner. One by one, he takes a painting and places it on the easel for Kurt to view. The first ones are landscapes of the French countryside – mainly fields of poppies and wheat. The next few paintings are classic stills of fruit and flowers. The last ones are portraits of young men in the nude. “You certainly cover the full range of subjects for your art. Which do you enjoy painting the most?” Kurt asks. “The landscapes are the best sellers and help pay the rent. I paint the others when I feel inspired, and currently I enjoy painting the portraits. I do charcoal sketches at first and then the oil painting later.” Kurt can see that Antoine is passionate about his art, as he rants on about the meaning of each painting, with hands waving everywhere and the same look in his eyes as Rachel gets when talking about Broadway. Antoine puts ‘Lucie’ by Pascal Obispo on the sound system and soon they are discussing other things they plan to do in Paris together. The meal starts with a terrine de campagne (country terrine or pate), served with crusty baguette and red wine. Kurt only nibbles at it because he can smell the rich cassoulet cooking in the oven. The main course is soon served with a simple side salad. “I can see why this is a popular dinner in France. The tastes go together so well and it’s hearty for a cold winter’s night.” “I’m glad you like it, mon chouchou. This recipe is from mami Emmeline. Apparently, she got the recipe from the executive chef at the La Fontaine de Mars restaurant decades ago. God knows how she pried it out of Jean-Guy Loustau.” After the dinner dishes have been cleared, Antoine places an artesian cheese platter and baguette on the coffee table and they relax on the couch. “I’m afraid that I can’t eat too much cheese if I want to be able to get into the suits that I model. I already broke my diet with the ham and cheese baguette at lunchtime.” Kurt’s cheeks flush when he sees Antoine’s glance move from his head to his toes. “I really don’t think you have anything to worry about. You are parfait (perfect) in my eyes. I’ll put this away, but I insist you join me for a digestif. Would you prefer cognac, armagnac or calvados?” Kurt has never tasted any liquors before, so he asks for the only one he recognizes. “Cognac, s'il te plaît.” After the drinks have been poured, Kurt takes a sip and finds he can’t stand the taste of cognac. He thinks about how he could get rid of the drink without Antoine noticing. He doesn’t want to appear unsophisticated, but there’s no way he’s finishing this drink. “So tell me about your life in New York City?” Antoine asks. Kurt talks about working at the Spotlight Diner and auditioning for roles in the theater without ever getting call-backs. He then goes on to relate the story of his Vogue internship interview and how he became a model that very same day. “What an incredible story, Kurt. What do you hope for in the future?” “I’m not entirely sure. I want to continue modeling until I get bored with it or people stop paying me lots of money. I’m thinking of studying musical theater and taking another stab at Broadway. I’m also thinking about studying fashion and get into the designing end of things. But for now, I’m enjoying Paris.” “Exactement, mon chouchou. You are young and don’t need to weigh yourself down with plans. This is the time you should live for the moment.” “What do you hope for in the future, Antoine?” “I hope that I continue to be inspired to paint, and people are inspired to buy my artwork. I want a place to live, good friends, and the freedom to do what I want. Une vie simple (a simple life).” When Antoine puts it that way, a life free of commitments and society’s pressures sounds ideal. However, Kurt does want to put down roots eventually, and get married and have kids. “There is one more thing I hope for, and as luck has it, you are here tonight.” Antoine slowly leans towards Kurt and presses their lips together. Kurt can feel the sensation of Antoine’s soft warm lips and it feels nice and comfortable. Kurt is pleased that he’s wanted by such an attractive and nice guy. But there aren’t any fireworks or butterflies in his stomach like he felt with his first real kiss. Kurt doesn’t think anything can compare to kissing Blaine. However, for now, it’s a welcome feeling. “Stay the night, mon chouchou,” Antoine whispers. Kurt jerks away quickly as if he has been burnt by fire. “I’m not ready for that… for things.” “Kurt, look at me. I’m not expecting anything. Okay, maybe more of the kissing. We can take this at any speed that you’re comfortable with. I’m very interested in you and enjoy your company. To see Paris through Kurt Hummel’s eyes is quite magical. So please, spend the night. I can always sleep on the couch if you want.” Kurt likes Antoine. He’s fun to be with, and this would take their relationship - can he call it that? – one step further. Kurt knows Antoine well enough to know he’s not a predator and will honor his word. But something holds him back. He can’t get Blaine out of his mind, and isn’t ready to take things further with Antoine yet. Kurt slowly shakes his head. “I think I better call it a night.” Author’s notes Song Marley Rose writes the lyrics and Blaine composes – “All or Nothing” performed by the Glee cast. Next up: Kurt models at the Paris Fashion Week opens and the Westerville Monarch House opens. It will be posted on Saturday.