#also the trend of having the authors name cover half the cover

[criptochecca]

Can’t begin to explain how much i hate the late trend of mondadori with the graphic work of scifi classics. i dont hate minimalism per se but i definitely hate these

[luvkaulitz]

🐍 BITE ME

pairing : tom x fem! reader

summary : tom finds himself head over heels after seeing you with your new piercings, except the only way he found out was through an interview.

author's note : this isn't proofread cause I'm just too lazy also I WANT SNAKE BITE PIERCINGS SOOOOO BAD.

"Everyone give it up for Tokio Hotel!" The interviewer clapped as the crowd cheered and clapped as the band smiled and waved. Tokio Hotel was currently at New York, Usa for a tour and got invited to do an interview for a really popular tv show. Unfortunately you got stuck back in LA for your own tour, as you were also in a band.

The cheering died down and the interviewer let the band mates introduce themselves before going to ask the questions that were submitted by their fans.

"Bill do you have a girlfriend?"

Bill laughed with a slight blush on his cheeks and shook his head as a way of saying ‘no’

"Oh no I want to find the right girl to spend the rest of my life with" Bill's answer made the other bandmates nod in agreement, but of course Tom loved teasing his little twin brother.

"Yes Bill is single so ladies hit him up" Tom pointed to the crowd and made a phone sign with his free hand. This made the crowd cheer and laugh out loud while Bill was there with a hand covering his mouth, holding in his own laugh.

The interviewer laughed and flipped his flash cards for the next question. "This question is for Tom." The interviewer announced and the crowed ooed in intussusception. Tom prepared himself for whatever question would be shot at him.

"You're in an official relationship with Y/N L/N, aka the lead singer from [band-name] correct?"

Tom's band members looked at him with smug looks on their faces, they knew you were Tom's weak spot. Maybe this was karma for teasing Bill.

Tom held his hands together and smiled. "Yes, she's been my girl for 2 years now. Our anniversary is soon actually."

The crowd clapped as a congratulations for Tokio Hotel's guitarist. Tom was known to be a playboy and they were happy that he'd found a girl to stay with instead of in Tom's own words before he met you. ”Love for one night”

The interviewer also clapped. "Congratulations you both deserve eachother."

Tom thanked the interviewer thinking his turn was over but to his surprised the interviewer announced some news he had not known about.

"So I think the audience knows this by now but Y/N and her new piercings have been trending all over social media. How do you feel about her new appearance?"

Tom raised an eyebrow. He hadn't talked to you for atleast a couple hours at most, how'd he not know about this?

"Oh? I didn't know about that." Tom and the others nodded, they had no idea about this.

"This happened just a few hours ago. Infact here's a clip from Y/N's live revealing the piercings."

The interviewer pointed towards the big tv that pointed straight towards the crowd as a video started playing.

You were on the screen with only the upper half of your face showing. Tom watched with a smile, waiting for you to talk.

"Guys I did something." You backed up from the camera showing your whole face, revealing the two silver rings on your glossy lips. You smiled showing your pearly white teeth.

Tom's eyes widened. You looked even more stunning with the new snake bite.

Your eyes scanned the comments before replying to one.

"When did you get this? Oh I got this just this morning, Tom doesn't even know about it I wanted to surprise him." You laughed at the camera before the video clip ended leaving Tom's lovestruck face stuck in the tv.

The audience awed at the sight before Tom turned his head. Like always Tom's mouth got the best of him as he spoke out loud before thinking about it.

"Damn she's hot."

[prokopetz]

hey! I'm getting back into Tumblr and I only remember your Tumbls and one other so I'm interested to hear who you would suggest following for fun content. Nerdy, funny, any one you like seeing on your dashboard!

Sure thing. I actually don’t follow that many blogs on Tumblr – there’s usually fewer than a hundred active entries on my “Following” list at any given time – and a lot of them are people who wouldn’t appreciate the extra attention, but I have a few I can plug.

Tabletop RPG creators

There are surprisingly few RPG creators on Tumblr, at least openly – though I'm sure there are many more who prefer to keep their Tumblr identities separate from their work! Those whom I follow include:

@jennamoran – Dr. Moran likely needs little introduction for most who follow this blog; creator of Nobilis, Glitch, and Chuubo’s Marvelous Wish-Granting Engine.

@jdragsky – Founder of Possum Creek Games, and creator of Sleepaway, Wanderhome, and the forthcoming Yazeba’s Bed and Breakfast.

@nekoewen – Creator of a truly vast number of smaller games, most notably the West End Games Ghostbusters retroclone Spooktacular, and also 100% to blame for my obsession with d66 tables.

@open-sketchbook – Author of many of my favourite games, including Double or Nothing, Unbelievable Macho Bullshit, and their current magnum opus, Flying Circus.

@orbitaldropkick – Putting them under tabletop RPGs may be burying the lede, as they’re also the author of Kill Six Billion Demons, but we know what we’re here for. Lead designer of Lancer.

Artists

These are mostly (but not exclusively) folks I’ve worked with in the past on my own tabletop RPG projects; many currently accept commissions if you’ve got a project of your own the works:

@artbyprophet – Contributing artist for Costume Fairy Adventures.

@artkaninchenbau – Contributor to Cerebos: The Crystal City and cover artist for Gaming with Godot.

@catbatart – A frequent contributor to various tabletop RPGs, including a forthcoming project under my own banner that I’m not ready to discuss just yet.

@dizzimitzi – Contributing artist for Costume Fairy Adventures.

@fungii – Contributing artist for Costume Fairy Adventures.

@mimimariet – Contributing artist for Costume Fairy Adventures.

@mooncalfe-art – If you’re into older tabletop RPGs, you may know her as one of the original artists for Exalted; otherwise, her graphic novels like Shadoweyes and Wet Moon are probably more familiar.

@pencilbrony – Cover artist and graphic designer for the forthcoming Space Gerbils [working title].

@theshitpostcalligrapher – Their main thing on Tumblr is (as the name suggests) calligraphic renderings of trending shitposts, though their full repertoire is much broader. Cover artist for To Serve.

@tredlocity – Creator of the webcomic Val and Isaac and occasional tabletop RPG artist, though I haven’t worked with them personally.

Video Games

Some video game creator blogs, some blogs about video games:

@hollowtones – A streamer who’s participated in several popular projects, including Half-Life VR but the AI Is Self-Aware, though on Tumblr she’s probably better known for a certain post about frogs.

@orteil42 – Creator of Cookie Clicker. If you’re familiar with that game’s sense of humour, you know what to expect here.

@ponett – Creator of the forthcoming Super Lesbian Animal RPG.

@snapscube – A voice actor best known for “abridged” versions of popular video game cutscenes. You know the “Dr. Eggman pissing on the moon” meme? That’s from their podcast.

@suppermariobroth – Oddball and often deeply obscure trivia about Super Mario games, as well as related franchises.

Other

@seatsafetyswitch – Frequently surrealist microfiction, with a strange preoccupation with shitty old cars.

[inkyami]

Do you have any tips for book cover designing?

Some are general, some are self-explanatory but still good to remember:

The cover is both the essence of the content inside and a big selling point. "Don't judge the book by it's cover" and all that but people DO judge, big time. So, it's great to try to put some thought into it and to try to reflect the story. My favorite covers are always the ones that have a nod at the mood and therefore are seen as a part of the story. It doesn't have to be "cram all the plot into the cover". A beautiful elaborate design/drawing pretty much stands by itself, but Penguin book's edition of Clockwork Orange with a glass of milk photo? Iconic. Timeless. Simple.

It’s always great to study the current trends in the genre to see what is popular AND what is clearly becoming over-used. The target audience is also important. You typically wouldn’t do a super-minimalist cover for a YA book where you see thousands of readers in the blogs asking for a pretty picture. Or a pretty not-unlike anime hero for a nuclear physicist’s memoir that is read mostly by his friends and peers. (I mean you absolutely can, of course, I’m not gonna stop anyone XD Subversion of expectations is great at times, too.)

The book cover 9/10 implies that there is text too, so you need to keep in mind free space in your composition for the title, author’s name, annotation/blurbs and technical info (ISBN & QR codes etc).

Also, from a technical side — the book is a Shape (duh), so while you draw/design the spread of the cover keep in mind that it will be perceived from the three sides.

I've mentioned the cover reflecting the story, and for illustrated covers it also might mean evoking the needed atmosphere/aesthetic through style. You don't have to (but can) go full on stylized in-the-period mode, but it's always great to research art and book design that could relate to your text and leave some nods to it — it sets the mood and gives a certain expectation to the reader.

Obviously, I ramble from the commercial point of view a lot; designing a book cover for portfolio or just for the love of it would free you of half of these concerns.

[everestica]

nightcord girls when reader talks about them in their sleep next to them. male reader, please and thank you!

Nightcord X Male!Reader: Sleep Talking

Writing Type: Headcannons Into Small Story

Request: Yes

Author’s Note: AHHH I love writing for Nightcord! Thank you for requesting and as always, if you don’t like it or it wasn’t what you wanted then just let me know if you want it rewritten!

-Girl was probably working on a song so you were sleeping in her bed

-And her desk is right next to her bed so she definitely heard your sleep muttering and she just so happened to pick up one word that really stuck out

-“Kanade”

She then looked up and over to where you were on the bed, you started shifting around. She then turned off her computer promising to herself that she would work on it tomorrow, got up, and started to quietly walk over to where you were now peacefully sleeping. She wasn’t to sure if the reason you had said her name was because you wanted her to come to bed with you or what it was, but she didn’t mind, she was just happy that her boyfriend always had her on his mind<3

-She was probably right next to you just scrolling on her phone checking up on the latest trends and stuff

-That’s when you are started talking in your sleep

-She didn’t really mind, as she was already awake and even if she was asleep it would have not woke her anyway, also you were a hella good boyfriend she didn’t mind if you said a couple words here and there, but while she was on that train if thought a word came out she didn’t expect

-“Ena..”

She was already starting to fall asleep by that point but as soon as she heard that girl was awake! She couldn’t help but “aww” at the fact that you were still thinking about her even when you were asleep, she thought it was the most adorable thing freaking ever.<3

-Girl was probably still up on discord to Kanade about the song that they were working on cuz yeah

-But that’s when you started shifting from beside her on the bed

-She didn’t think to much of it and continued to work, she knew that you had been asleep so she tried to maybe change how hard she was clicking her keys

-But then that’s when you started to talk

-It was nothing to crazy half of it wasn’t even actually words, she just let you continue but that’s when a word came out that was clear as day

-“M-Mafuyu..”

She quickly turned around and realized that you were still asleep, she had a quick sigh of relief knowing that you were still asleep. She turned back to the keyboard and said that she would finish tomorrow and that something needed her attention. She quickly turned off the computer, and came over to you and settled down into bed with you. She cuddled into you and soon fell asleep with you also on her mind<3

-They we’re looking online for a specific fabric for Nightcord’s upcoming music video

-You, Their Lovely boyfriend was in the background sleeping

-They were still looking and making a bit too much noise when they thought that they had found something and it really turned out to be a dud.

-You started to shift around and they immediately shut up and looked back at you to make sure that your were still asleep

-But upon their looking they found out that you were like mouthing words for some reason

-They didn’t think to much of it and turned back around

-That is until a sound actually did come out in the for of a word

-“Mizuki…”

They turned around to see that you were still asleep, sighing they got up and decided that they could just drag you to the store and shop there. So instead she tiptoed to the bed and got under the cover with you and decided that they would rather be with you then looking up fabrics online, and they couldn’t be more happy that you were there with them.<3

[youngestrunningleek]

The Coming of the Rats

Content warning: the book I'm reviewing today has a lot of sexual content.

Today I am reviewing The Coming of the Rats, by George H. Smith, published in 1961. It's a science fiction novel about a man surviving nuclear apocalypse.

Image description: The book's cover. It has a skinny blonde woman with her clothes being ripped off by hordes of red-eyed rats. It is 50 cents.

Before I go further, I will say that this book has a lot of sexual violence in it. It is treated badly. That's all I'll say in this review. Also, I'll be spoiling the end, but it's a bad book so don't feel too bad.

So, when I picked the book up (just the title was enough to get me excited) I knew what I was getting into. It was really funny. If you like this sort of thing, then this is the sort of thing you will like. I could write a thousand words taking down this long-dead author's sexism, but I'm not going to waste anyone's time.

Something that surprised me was that it's a near-future book. It takes place in 1963, and was published in 1961. I think of near futures as being a modern trend. Today, technology feels like it's advancing by leaps and bounds. It's easy to set science fiction just a few years from now. But Smith was doing this in the sixties. Early on, his protagonist explains why the year has to be 1963. I can't vouch for the accuracy of his calculations about the Russians' nuclear arsenal, but he clearly put some thought into it.

I find it kind of reassuring to read accounts from the Cold War. (It feels funny to use that name since it wasn't cold at all, for so many people.) I don't think people were wrong to be worried about the end of humanity, back then. But the world didn't burn. We live in scary times now. It's nice to know people were afraid the world would end, and it didn't happen.

One piece of evidence the book cites is that 90% of humans will die if exposed to 400-600 roentgens, and only 50% of rats will die if exposed to 825 roentgens. Again, citation is needed. In the text, it quickly becomes "rats can survive twice as much radiation as humans and live".

In reality, most of the book is set before the bombs fall, and very little of it is about rats. The protagonist spends the first part preparing and trying to convince Bettirose, his coworker, to go with him to his cave in the mountains. Once the bombs do fall,  he has some incidents with other survivors and prepares for the rat invasion. He sees the occasional rat and worries about them, but there's no horde until the last chapter. The vast majority is not really about rats. I guess that's a hazard of an older book. I'm used to covers talking about the first 10-20% of a book. But in this one, the rats are less of the premise and more like the climax.

Speaking of the climax, it was just fine. I'm obsessed with rats, and I was happy they finally showed up... but it was an awfully long wait for an average action scene. Something I would have liked to see is more description of the cats, dogs, and weasels the protagonist stores. Throughout the book he collects as many of them as he can, and they're useful in the end because they kill rats. But, compared to the detail given to farming and other preparations, there's never any description of the animals. They say the animals are taking up food, but how much? Dozens of animals are a lot of mouths to feed. And he never mentions taking the dogs for walks, or waste disposal. I'm not talking about animal welfare, I'm talking about them literally being able to survive. If you're going to have tens upon tens of weasels, dogs, and cats, you need to spend most of your time maintaining them. And there's never any description of that. Are they plants?

Also, the very ending is especially bad. It's hard to end a post-nuclear apocalypse story, but this is not the way. After waves upon waves of rats, there's a king rat. The protagonist kills it, and the rest scatter. Eyeroll. Then, there's a few paragraphs, maybe a page and a half, of thinking about the future. He knows the rats will come again, but he'll breed dogs, and make more preparations. That's the end. "I'm confident we'll be ready". Very weak.

If I was hard on this book, well, it's because it's bad. The sexism was really funny, until it stopped being funny. You don't need to read this one. My personal rating: 2.5 / 5 My overall rating: 1.5 / 5

[shakil244]

Douyin takeout, faster or slower

Have you ever ordered takeout on the Douyin platform? How is the experience? After Douyin matured in the short video track, it also began to get involved in the HE Tuber food delivery field. Can it develop in the long term? Let’s see how the author analyzes it.

Douyin’s food delivery business is still accelerating.

According to the news, since July, Douyin Takeaway has entered 100 cities, including first-tier cities such as Shenzhen, Hangzhou, Wuhan, and Nanjing, as well as second-tier cities such as Wuxi and Ningbo, and even third- and fourth-tier cities. Cities Ma'anshan and Anyang.

Judging from the current actions, although Douyin has previously given up on reaching 100 billion yuan in GMV (total transaction volume) this year and adjusted its goal to 5 billion yuan, which has shrunk by 20 times, Douyin has not been discouraged by the lack of significant improvement in its food delivery business. Give up this "treasure land".

At the same time, Douyin Waimai is still trying to use more methods to streamline the business process. At the same time, it is cooperating with real-time delivery platforms such as Dada, Shanshuo, SF Express, and UU Errand to open "group purchase delivery" in pilot cities such as Beijing, Shanghai, and Chengdu. "On the other hand, some merchants are invited to carry out self-delivery, but this requires the merchants' self-delivery system to be mature.

While Douyin Waimai is working hard to speed up delivery, some merchants have "retreated." According to Sohu Finance, Beijing’s Jindingxuan and Hu Da were among the first to test Douyin’s “delivery to home” service, but have now withdrawn.

So, since the market performance is not as good as expected and the food delivery market is so difficult, why is Douyin still determined to be in the food delivery market?

1. Takeaway, a “strategic location” that must be conquered

As we all know, Douyin is not only the most mature product developed by Bytedance in the short video field, but also the engine of Bytedance’s entire business system, playing a key driving role in traffic, users, content, and commercialization. .

For such an important Douyin, how to open up a broader business space is the core task.

Previously, Douyin had three main revenue businesses, namely platform advertising, live broadcast reward sharing and live broadcast e-commerce commissions. Although advertising is Douyin's "cash cow", Douyin cannot be willing to use its huge traffic just to serve advertising and be a "tool" for content marketing, not to mention that Internet advertising has begun to decline.

QuestMobile data shows that advertising in the Internet industry will generally decline in 2022, with online shopping falling by nearly 50%. In the first half of 2022, the scale of China's Internet advertising market fell by 2.3% year-on-year, which was the first year-on-year decline in the history of China's Internet advertising market.

Not only domestic platforms such as Baidu, Zhihu, and Kuaishou that account for a large proportion of advertising are affected, but globally, giants such as Meta, Google, and Amazon still cannot escape the general trend of declining Internet advertising business.

Under such circumstances, short video platforms Douyin and Kuaishou must diversify their own traffic monetization channels. Therefore, Douyin is bound to put heavy pressure on the live broadcast e-commerce and life service tracks.

But looking further, if Douyin wants to "include" daily life services, food delivery is still the key to its success. Data shows that Douyin’s life service business currently covers more than 370 cities, with more than 2 million cooperative stores; as of the first quarter of this year, the monthly GMV of Douyin’s life service has exceeded 10 billion.

Judging from the data performance, Douyin has achieved initial success in entering into daily life services and is gradually approaching the "Meituan home base". However, if the "strategic location" of food delivery is not captured, the fundamentals of daily life services will still be very unstable.

There have been doubts in the industry before, believing that group buying on short video platforms is interest-based consumption rather than purpose-based consumption. For example, users who purchase group purchases on Meituan-Dianping are offset by purchasing in-store. However, users on Douyin who purchase coupons for a group purchase will face refunds due to unlucky timing or lack of willingness to go to the store.

Therefore, Douyin must open up food delivery and form a full-process service for group purchase and distribution, so that the most critical part of life services - catering business, can have a complete business chain to compete with Meituan.

At the same time, food delivery itself is also the core money-making segment of life services. According to Meituan’s financial report, Meituan’s core local business revenue reached 42.9 billion yuan in the first quarter of this year, a year-on-year increase of 25.5%; the core local business achieved operating profits of 9.4 billion yuan. This is a synchronous increase of 100.7% compared with 4.7 billion yuan in the same period in 2022.

Meituan’s core local business businesses mainly include catering takeout and in-store services, hotels and tourism, Meituan flash sales, B&B and transportation ticketing, etc. The most important of which are obviously catering, wine and travel, and Douyin’s life services, too. "Eager to make money" from catering takeout and in-store dining, they regard this as a top priority.

2. Self-built distribution is a gap that needs to be crossed

However, although Douyin's takeout attack is fierce, Meituan is "sit tight on Diaoyutai."

When talking about the competition with Douyin, Meituan’s management once said: “On the short video platform, many businesses place advertisements due to traffic costs and other reasons, but Meituan’s vast network can meet greater demand, especially for Food delivery demand at peak times. Meituan’s operating network will be more reliable and efficient in the future, so the food delivery business has the potential for further growth, and Meituan is also confident in its leading position.”

This reply has a meaning of "Douyin says I have traffic, Meituan says I have strength", and Meituan's "confidence" is indeed not without reason. According to the "2022 China Online Takeaway Market Research Report" released by iiMedia Consulting, in the fourth quarter of 2022, Meituan Takeout's share of China's online takeout market was 65.2%, and Ele.me and Koubei combined for 33.6%.

Not only is it an absolute leader in market share, but the "contract fulfillment and delivery capabilities" emphasized by Meituan are indeed something that Douyin Waimai currently does not possess.

As Meituan mentioned in its financial report, the delivery network is the core of catering takeout and Meituan’s flash sales business, and has always been Meituan’s competitive advantage; data shows that Meituan’s instant delivery orders have reached 17.7 billion, and its single-day orders for catering takeout The peak volume exceeded 60 million orders.

For Douyin Waimai, delivery is undoubtedly its biggest problem. Some media reports even believe that Douyin Waimai had to lower its target because the delivery could not keep up.

At the same time, the transportation capacity is insufficient. In the early stage, the main problems are slow delivery and lack of delivery network. Therefore, Douyin Takeout chooses to promote self-delivery by merchants to solve the urgent need; but if long-term competition involves building a self-built delivery network, Douyin will It's even more difficult to say.

As a content platform, Douyin itself is an "asset-light" operation. If it builds its own distribution network for takeout business, it will need to transport a lot of manpower and costs, which will become an "asset-heavy" investment. Doing so will undoubtedly bring harm to the platform. Brings great risks.

This can be seen from Meituan’s investment. For the whole of 2022, Meituan’s distribution costs will be as high as 80.19 billion yuan, accounting for 61% of the total sales and operating costs.

Therefore, whether Douyin can burn money for the food delivery business needs to be considered, and whether it can win if it burns money is more worthy of consideration.

After Alibaba successfully completed the wholly-owned acquisition of Ele.me for US$9.5 billion in 2018, it spent huge costs to support the "battle" between Ele.me and Meituan. At that time, there were reports that Ele.me would spend 3 billion yuan to engage in a price war with Meituan. Ele.me CEO Wang Lei even told Reuters that Alibaba is expected to continue to support Ele.me’s development and make investments. $1 billion.

In the following years, with the support of the two giants Alibaba and Tencent, Ele.me and Meituan invested huge costs to compete for a share of the food delivery market, only to "burn out" their current number one or two position.

According to statistics, as of 2022, there are 6.24 million Meituan riders and 1.14 million Ele.me riders. The total number of riders has reached 7.38 million. The actual number may be higher than this. As a "latecomer", Douyin Waimai not only lost the market opportunity, but also found it difficult to catch up with the delivery advantages of its leading rivals.

3. Douyin takeout, no need to be aggressive

In addition to the "difficulty" caused by the weak delivery side, the reasons for the recent departure of Douyin's takeaway merchants have also begun to arouse discussion.

According to calculations by industry insiders, the cost for Douyin takeaway merchants is as high as 25%-30%. Although in order to attract merchants to settle in, Douyin’s takeout only requires 2.5% of the platform’s points, but if delivery, service providers, traffic costs, etc. are included, the investment for merchants to do takeout on Douyin is even higher than that on Meituan and Hungry. It's even higher.

A Zhihu blogger calculated this using a takeout with a unit price of 60 yuan as an example. Within three kilometers, the platform commission for Douyin’s takeout is 1.5 yuan and the platform commission for Meituan’s takeout is 3.6 yuan; the delivery fees for both are 8 yuan; but Douyin Waimai has an additional expert commission fee of 6 yuan compared to Meituan Waimai.

Based on this comprehensive comparison, the total cost incurred by merchants on Douyin Takeaway reached 25.8%, while the corresponding figure for Meituan Takeout was 19.3%.

For Douyin takeout merchants, paying Douyin takeout delivery partners’ delivery fees starting at RMB 78 to 80 is only one aspect. The biggest headache is that due to the nature of the platform, short videos and live broadcasts are required to promote “sales.” Because videos themselves have a higher production threshold than graphics and texts, the operation difficulty will be higher than other food delivery platforms.

At the same time, if it is just taking pictures, many small businesses can still do it by themselves. However, if it is shooting videos or live broadcasts, most small and medium-sized businesses may not have the equipment or time at all. They need to hire an external production team and have to pay for the shooting costs. These barriers will cause the merchants to Enthusiasm for Douyin Takeout has declined.

Now, Meituan, which was only on the defensive before, has finally launched a counterattack. On July 11, according to Sina Technology, a fixed entrance for "Meituan Live" appeared in the recommendation section on the homepage of the Meituan App. Entering the live broadcast aggregation page, there are the "gods" of takea

[poniatowskaja]

From Household Rags to Grey-Flannel Stitches

“Dress for the job you want to have,” Mademoiselle told readers in its September 1977 issue. “There’s a clothing hierarchy paralleling the job hierarchy.” Its September 1979 cover story offered a “Dress for Success Guide,” promoting gray flannel suits and fitted tweed jackets for “the woman who is doing something with her life.” The well-tailored suit, the late-’70s fashion press had uniformly decreed, was the ideal expression of women’s rising economic and political aspirations. The fashion press inherited these ideas not from the women’s movement but from the writings of a male fashion consultant. John T. Molloy’s The Woman’s Dress for Success Book became an instant hit in 1977, remaining on the New York Times best-seller list for more than five months. The book offered simple tips on professional dressing for aspiring businesswomen, just as his first work, Dress for Success, dispensed clothing advice to men. That earlier book, published in 1975, was hugely popular, too. But when the fashion media turned against “dress for success” a decade later, they directed their verbal assault solely on the women’s edition. A former prep school English teacher, Molloy turned to the study of women’s business dressing in the mid-’70s for the money. Corporations like AT&T and U.S. Steel, under federal pressure to hire women, were funding research and seminars that made them look like good equal opportunity employers. Unlike the High Femininity merchants, who determined fashion trends based on “feelings,” Molloy actually surveyed hundreds of people in the work force. He even dispatched research assistants to spy on the dressing habits of corporate men and women and, in a four-year study, enlisted several hundred businesswomen to track changes in their dress and their career. Based on his survey results, Molloy calculated that women who wore business suits were one and a half times more likely to feel they were being treated as executives—and a third less likely to have their authority challenged by men. Clothing that called attention to sexuality, on the other hand—women’s or men’s—lowered one’s status at the office. “Dressing to succeed in business and dressing to be sexually attractive are almost mutually exclusive.” Molloy’s motives were primarily commercial, but his book had a political subtext, as a primer for people disadvantaged by class and sex. A child of the lower middle class himself, Molloy addressed similarly situated readers, the “American bootstrap types,” as he called them, “whose parents never went to college” and who were struggling to “overcome socioeconomic barriers when they choose their clothes.” The author was also an advocate for women’s rising expectations—and urged them to rely on their brains rather than their bodies to improve their station. “Many women,” he wrote, “still cling to the conscious or unconscious belief that the only feminine way of competing is to compete as a sex object and that following fashion trends is one of the best ways to win. It’s not.” When Molloy’s book for women became a best-seller in the ’70s, publishers immediately rushed three knockoffs into print. Retailers began invoking Molloy’s name and even claiming, most times falsely, that the clothing guru had personally selected their line of women’s business wear. Newsweek declared dress-for-success a trend. And for the next three years, women’s magazines recycled scores of fashion stories that endorsed not only the suits but the ambitions they represented— with headlines like YOUR GET-AHEAD WARDROBE, POWER! and WHAT TO WEAR WHEN YOU’RE DOING THE TALKING. At first fashion makers welcomed dress-for-success, too. They issued new ads offering paeans to working women’s aspirations— with, of course, the caveat that women could realize these objectives only in a suit. Apparel manufacturers had visions of exploiting a new and untapped market. “The success of suits has made the fashion industry ecstatic,” Newsweek observed in 1979. They had good reason to feel that way: women’s suit sales had more than doubled that year. But in their enthusiasm, fashion merchants overlooked the bottom line of Molloy’s book: dress-for-success could save women money and liberate them from fashion-victim status. Business suits weren’t subject to wild swings in fashion and women could get away (as men always have) with wearing the same suit for several days and just varying the blouse and accessories—more economical than buying a dress for every day of the week. Once women made the initial investment in a set of suits, they could even take a breather from shopping. Between 1980 and 1987, annual sales of suits rose by almost 6 million units, while dresses declined by 29 million units. The $600 million gain in suit sales in these years was nice—but it couldn’t make up for the billions of dollars the fashion industry could have been getting in dress sales. Matters worsened when manufacturers raised their suit prices to make up for the shortfall—and women just started buying cheaper suits from foreign manufacturers. Between 1981 and 1986, imports of women’s suits nearly tripled. “When this uniform is accepted by large numbers of businesswomen,” Molloy’s book predicted, “. . . it will be attacked ferociously.” The fashion industry, the clothing consultant warned, may even yank the suits off the racks: “They will see it as a threat to their domination over women. And they will be right.”

Susan Faludi, Backlash: The Undeclared War against Women

[hadeskitchen]

Character Profiles

Hey everybody! After much editing and pinterest scrolling, here are the complete character profiles for the main characters. If you have any questions or comments let me know, I'd be happy to talk to you about them. Hope you enjoy! :)

Full Name: Kenji Ishida

Nicknames: Ken, Ishi, Farmer Ken

Gender: Cisgender Male

Pronouns: He/Him

Species: Shade (former human)

HK Role: Contestant

Former Occupation: Farmer and shelter volunteer

Personality: Compassionate, goofy, thoughtful, easy-going

MBTI: ENFJ-T (The Protagonist)

Zodiac: Pisces

Birthday: March 3rd

Apparent Age: Late 20s - Early 30s

Appearance: Ken is over 194 cm tall (6’4”) and has a muscular build with broad shoulders, strong arms and legs, washboard abs, and a thin waist. He has warm beige skin that’s dotted with moles. His chin-length, straight, black hair is constantly falling in front of his brown eyes so he's often seen pushing it back out of his face. When he doesn’t shave, a shadow of stubble grows in along his strong jawline and above his full lips. On his left shoulder blade, he has a large tattoo of a moth crossing in front of a full moon, and across his chest are a series of long, claw-like scars.

Likes: Camping, live theater, breakfast food, herb gardens

Dislikes: Show-offs, fancy cocktails, social media, cheaters

Fears: Regret, disappointing people, bugs

Religion: Devotee of Demeter (The Harvest)

Favorite Tastes: Spicy and umami

Favorite Meal: Chicken Katsu

Kenji is gender selectable and can be cisgender male (Kenji/Ken, he/him), transgender female (Kairi/Kai, she/her), or x-gender neutral (Kira/K, they/them).

Inspiration | Tag | Short Story: 1

Full Name: Thema Sarpong

Nicknames: T, Queen

Gender: Cisgender Female

Pronouns: She/Her

Species: Shade (former human)

HK Role: Contestant

Former Occupation: Private chef and social media influencer

Personality: Charismatic, passionate, chaotic, secretive

MBTI: ENTP-A (The Debater)

Zodiac: Leo

Birthday: August 16th

Apparent Age: Late 20s

Appearance: Thema is 170 cm tall (5’7”) with a curvy, athletic build. Her voluptuous, hourglass figure is accented with the kind of relaxed muscle tone you'd expect from someone who promoted healthy living as part of her career. She has radiant, warm brown skin decorated with many tattoos including a seven-pointed sunburst on the left side of her neck and what looks like a large bullseye (three concentric circles) on her upper back. Though she styles her dark brown, tightly curled hair in a variety of ways, waist-length box braids are her signature look. Below arched brows, her smiling brown eyes sparkle with light. Her jawline is square and her lips are full.

Likes: Stand-up comedy, trends, red wine, general mischief

Dislikes: Baking, schedules, enclosed spaces, birds and reptiles

Fears: Trust, silence, boredom

Religion: Former maenad/companion of Dionysus (The Outcast)

Favorite Tastes: Bitter and sweet

Favorite Meal: Jollof Rice with Tilapia

Thema is gender selectable and can be cisgender female (Thema, she/her), cisgender male (Tano, he/him), or pangender (Tawiah, they/xe/she/ey/he).

Inspiration | Tag

Full Name: Cecil Lysias Gray

Nicknames: Gray, Light

Gender: Transgender Nonbinary (Neutrois)

Pronouns: They/Them

Species: Shade (former human)

HK Role: Contestant

Former Occupation: Celebrity chef, restaurateur, and cookbook author

Personality: Arrogant, sarcastic, hot-tempered, clever

MBTI: ESTP-A (The Entrepreneur)

Zodiac: Aries

Birthday: April 1st

Apparent Age: Mid-Late 20s

Appearance: Cecil is 178 cm tall (5’10”) with a toned build. Their shoulders are broad, their waist is narrow, and they have long legs. They have light brown skin covered with tattoos including a full chest piece, a full sleeve on their right arm, and an unfinished half-sleeve on their left arm. On their forearm, they also have an old burn scar. Their curly, shoulder-length hair is a sun-warmed brown color and it's either worn loose or in a low bun. They have hazel eyes, thick brows, and a tall, aquiline nose. Their cheekbones are high and sharp, In general, their attractive facial features are angular and androgynous.

Likes: Sleight of hand, lightcycles, adrenaline highs, gardening

Dislikes: Restrictions, being ignored, bowling, pity

Fears: Intimacy, weakness, being unable to move

Religion: Passionate atheist

Favorite Tastes: Sour and spicy

Favorite Meal: Salt-Baked Fish

Cecil is gender selectable (though their name remains the same). They can be transgender nonbinary (they/them), transgender male (he/him), or cisgender female (she/they).

Inspiration | Tag | Short Story 1

Full Name: Sharvari Patil

Nicknames: Shar, Shy

Gender: Cisgender Female

Pronouns: She/Her

Species: Shade (former human)

HK Role: Contestant

Former Occupation: Executive chef and restaurateur

Personality: Reserved, serene, brilliant, playful

MBTI: ISTJ-A (The Logistician)

Zodiac: Kumbha

Birthday: February 5th

Apparent Age: Mid 20s

Appearance: Shar is 158 cm tall (5’2”) with a skinny build. She has a small waist, thin but somewhat muscular arms and legs, and narrow hips. Her skin is a cool brown and she has several surgical scars on her torso. Her very dark, ash brown hair is barely wavy and typically worn down. When cooking her long locks are woven into a loose braid. Her large, dark brown eyes are rimmed with thick lashes. She has a heart-shaped face and straight brows.

Likes: Art museums, long baths, old books, horse-back riding

Dislikes: Cilantro, insects, extreme temperatures, lack of control

Fears: Germs, failure, abandonment

Religion: Casual follower of Hephaestus (The Forge)

Favorite Tastes: Salty and sweet

Favorite Meal: Beef Pho and Ginger Rice

Shar is gender selectable and can be either cisgender female (Sharvari, she/her), cisgender male (Sharvin, he/him), or agender (Sharva, xe/xem/xyr).

Inspiration | Tag | Short Story 1

Full Name: Hero of Thebes

Nickname: Horns, SK

Gender: Fluid

Pronouns: They/She/He

Species: Shade (former satyr)

HK Role: 2nd AD (assistant director) for Hades’ Kitchen

Former Occupation: Freelance artist and barista

Personality: Empathetic, timid, insightful, creative

MBTI: ISFP-T (The Adventurer)

Zodiac: Cancer

Birthday: July 9th

Apparent Age: Early-Mid 20s

Appearance: Hero is 165 cm tall (5’5”) with a chubby build. Their weight is concentrated more on the lower half of their body with wider hips and a soft stomach. They have rosy, pale beige skin that’s absolutely covered in freckles, and a long scar from a spinal surgery runs vertically down their back. Their wavy blonde hair has thick bangs and falls just past their shoulders. The hair that covers their goat legs is also wavy, but slightly darker in color. Their bright green, downturned eyes are their most prominent facial feature; well, aside from their drooping, pointed ears and the large pair of horns sprouting from their temples. Their rough horns, which curl outward like a ram's, are decorated with petals, vines, and delicate jewelry. Both their horns and their ears have a collection of piercings.

Likes: Detailed plans, flowers, junk food, knitting/knitwear

Dislikes: Satyr stereotypes, unexpected attention, hard floors, swimming

Fears: Rejection, awkward conversations, dark water

Religion: Devotee of Athena (The Scholar)

Favorite Tastes: Salty and umami

Favorite Meal: Baked Pasta

Hero is gender selectable (though their name remains the same) and can be genderfluid (they/she/he), genderqueer (they/them), cisgender female (she/her), or cisgender male (he/him)

Inspiration | Tag

Full Name: Prince Adonis, Lord of Elysium

Nicknames: Don, Donnie, Princeling

Gender: Cisgender Male

Pronouns: He/Him

Species: Minor god

Domains: Masculinity and beauty

HK Role: Executive Producer and Host

Occupation: Ruler of Elysium, member of the chthonic court, plant dad monster dad

Personality: Idealistic, caring, driven, selfless

MBTI: INFJ-T (The Advocate)

Zodiac: Libra

Birthday: September 27th

Apparent Age: Mid-Late 20s

Appearance: Adonis is 184 cm tall (6’0”) and has a buff build with massive arms, a brawny chest, thick thighs, and a soft stomach. He has deep black skin unmarked by scars or tattoos. His coiled, black hair is shaved into a well-groomed, tight fade and his sharp jawline is always clean-shaven. His round brown eyes shimmer with gold flecks and the strong brows which frame them are gently arched. His nose is wide and he has an easy, infectious smile that shows off perfect teeth.

Likes: Monsters, reality dating shows, fashion, mortal culture

Dislikes: Giving criticism, court politics, monotony, scary movies

Fears: Death, being misunderstood, eternal loneliness

Religion: Is a god

Favorite Tastes: Sweet and spicy

Favorite Meal: Mushroom Stew and Fresh Bread

Adonis is gender-locked as a cisgender male (he/him).

Inspiration | Tag

-- thanks for reading! you can find the ROs sexual/romantic identities and two more non-romanceable characters below the cut --

Welcome to below the cut!

Before we move on, I want to reaffirm that romance/sexuality are both optional in this game. MC can pursue either one, both, or neither.

ROs Sexual/Romantic Identities:

Shar: demisexual panromantic monoamorous

Kenji: pansexual panromantic polyamorous

Thema: pansexual demiromantic polyamorous

Cecil: pansexual panromantic monoamorous

Hero: asexual panromantic monoamorous

Adonis: demisexual panromantic monoamorous

Thema and Kenji have a variety of polyamorous routes involving the two of them.

There is no option to develop a sexual relationship with Hero but MC can engage in sexual relationships with other characters while engaged in a romantic relationship with Hero (something which Hero actively supports if that's what MC desires).

There are other characters you can have sexual relationships with besides the five remaining ROs...

Now, feel free to treat yourself to the judges' character profiles:

Full Name: Maria-Alessia de Rossi

Nicknames: Alex, Chef Alex, Ali, Rose

Gender: Genderqueer (Nonbinary Butch)

Pronouns: She/They

Species: Ascended shade (former human)

HK Role: Executive chef of Hades’ court and judge on Hades’ Kitchen

Former Occupation: Private chef for the Olympian court, inventor, author, and academic scholar

Personality: Intelligent, passionate, perceptive, mercurial

MBTI: INTJ-A (The Architect)

Zodiac: Scorpio

Birthday: Nov 7th

Apparent Age: Late 20s - Early 30s

Appearance: Alex is 180 cm tall (5’11”) with a toned build and broad shoulders. She's surprisingly muscular, but her slim frame makes her appear more lean than built. She also has a small chest, so it's hard to tell when she's wearing her binder. She has pale olive-toned skin that's covered in small moles and various scars - most notably a jagged line running across her tall nose and under her left eye. She has wavy, dark brown hair cut just below her chin which she styles in an intentionally messy way. Her lashes are long, her cheekbones are high, and her gray, upturned eyes are as sharp as her personality.

Likes: Experimentation, fencing, intellectual debate, literally any animal

Dislikes: Arrogance, sunlight, pickles, humorless people

Fears: Relapsing, being unworthy, losing her mind

Religion: Atheist

Favorite Tastes: Umami and sour

Favorite Meal: Pappardelle al Ragù di Cinghiale

Inspiration | Tag

Full Name: Julio Zamora

Nicknames: Chef Julio, Lio, Jazz, Julie

Gender: Cisgender Male

Pronouns: He/Him

Species: Ascended shade (former human)

HK Role: Head chef at Hades’ court and judge on Hades’ Kitchen

Former Occupation: Executive chef, TV personality, cookbook author, and cultural icon

Personality: Approachable, good-humored, altruistic, visionary

MBTI: ENFP-T (The Campaigner)

Zodiac: Virgo

Birthday: September 15th

Apparent Age: Mid 40s

Appearance: Julio is 173 cm tall (5’8”) with a slightly muscular build. His skin is a little looser and he has a thick stomach, but overall, for a middle-aged man, he's kept things pretty tight. Julio has warm, light brown skin that’s lightly wrinkled, particularly around the corners of his sparkling, dark brown eyes. His hair was once black but is now mostly gray. His thick curls are left longer on top than they are on the sides. His well-groomed, full beard, also streaked with gray, highlights his strong jaw and chiseled cheekbones.

Likes: Puns, board games, going for walks, mystery books

Dislikes: Conflict, cacti, beaches, e-readers

Fears: Needles, letting others down, failing to notice people in pain

Religion: Agnostic

Favorite Tastes: Salty and spicy

Favorite Meal: Cochinita Pibil

Inspiration | Tag

[jiminsfault]

Gamin’ for love 0.2 | jjk

— pairing: gamer!Jungkook x escort!reader

— genre: 18+ / smut, angst, fluff

— word count: 13.5k

— summary: if love was a game, even Jungkook wouldn’t know how to win. Ordering an escort might help.

— warnings: sex work, oral (m & f receiving), daddy!kink, awkward tension, emo!jungkook, pining, verbal and physical abuse, threats, manipulating and controlling behavior, harassment, implications of taehyung x reader, mentions of smoking, angst (like a lot), tears, jungkook and y/n are idiots in love, fighting (not fists, just words), implied panic attack(?), implied physical abuse, language, lots of love, soft!Jungkook, degradation, spit kink, name calling, slight spanking, tiny bit of aftercare, lOVe

— thank you so much for beta reading this! @shadowsremedy​ @meowxyoong​ you guys really pulled through and saved my ass!! Also @interludemoonchild​ thank you for helping me decide stuff!

— A/N: I’m really sorry it took me half a year to finish this fic!! I’m a clown but I finally got it done and I’m so happy and proud of it, gfl really is my whole heart so I hope you’ll enjoy reading it!!

moodboard | part one | part two | masterlist

When you rang the door to Jungkook’s apartment it wasn’t long until the door swung open, in front of you Jungkook, wet with only a towel around his hips. His eyes were big and his breath a little rushed. 

“You’re earlier than expected.” Is what he greeted you with. It wasn’t unfriendly, just surprised, a smile gracing his face full of cheeks and teeth.

“Yeah, Bunny gave me a ride,” you explained, “she’s a colleague.” Jungkook nodded in understanding and made an overdramatic move to beckon you in, that made you grin widely.

As you walked through the door, you see the living room again, this time in the light of the day. The setting sun shined through the slightly closed blinds that were covering his windows.  

“It’s pretty in here... really simple and minimalistic,” you throw into the quiet. You could see Jungkook fidgeting, scratching his neck. 

“Yeah, it’s…” he thought about his words a little. “An interior designer told me it’s the latest trend...so...” he trailed off. The atmosphere was awkward, the air tense and heavy around both of you. Jungkook moved around in the background, the black TV screen showing you a blurry image of his silhouette when you sat down on the couch.

He moved around the room and clicked things on his computer, when he cautiously tried to start a conversation. “You want to watch TV? Eat something? I only have instant noodles though…” you let out a breathy giggle, as he trailed off and turned around to face him over the couch. 

“Some dick would be fine too, don’t you think?” Your response made him laugh and he nodded. “Right. Hold on, just gotta do something. I didn’t think you’d be over this quick, so I didn’t get a chance to, you know...prepare,” he chuckled. 

The clicking stopped and he walked over to the couch, still in his towel, hair slightly dried, but overall wet. As he sat down you didn’t have it within you to not stare at his body, muscles well toned and broad. His thighs, that so deliciously spread open, are big and you’d gladly suffocate between them. He noticed your ogling and blushed slightly. When he went to say something, his voice got stuck in his throat. 

You groaned. “Why are we so awkward?” Laughing it off seemed right and Jungkook joined you. 

“Ah...I’ve just never done it like this...usually I’d never have sex outside of a relationship and we don’t know each other well yet, so...” trailing off once again, he shrugged his shoulders. 

You nodded and scooted closer to him, deciding to defuse the awkwardness. You put your hand on his knee, you trailed your hands all over his muscles, higher towards his towel. “Can I take this off?” You asked with a glint in your eyes.

Jungkook wasn’t good at hiding his nervousness, that was for sure. His Adam's apple bobbed with a big swallow and quickly he whispered a shy, “yes, please.”

His hands were clammy as he fiddled around with the cushion of his soft couch. You’ll never be able to not coo at him. Even when he sat here, in all his golden glory, he was able to make you smile with his hesitation. 

Slowly you went on your knees, between his legs and you slid your hands up his well built stomach to touch his cute, dark nipples. You pinched each, Jungkook gasping with a high pitch and clenching his hands laying next to him. 

Letting your hands roam around his body, he leaned back into the pillows and breathed out, finally relaxing a little. Smiling, you smoothed your fingers over his pecks, down his body again and curled them into his towel teasingly. Moving the soft fabric down just a little, more skin revealed itself to you. 

You licked your lips in anticipation, remembering how his dick stretched you out just last week, ruined you for all the other customers. You weren’t able to walk properly for three days, still felt him inside of you. You couldn’t wait until he would thrust inside of your mouth and throb on your tongue. 

He raised his hips to make you hurry up and take off his towel. His eyes pleading as he laid a hand on your soft cheek. “Just suck me off already, baby...” he almost let out a low whine, barely catching himself. 

You hesitated, this seemed somehow off. The dominant Jungkook from last week nowhere in sight and his soft touch on your cheek had you anticipating what he was going to do next.

His eyes hardened as he lifted his hand and let it collide with your face, just softly enough to make a clap, not hard enough to sting. He was testing your waters, seeing how far he could go with you. A smile sneaked itself on his face, not the cute toothy grin, just a dangerous smirk. 

“A week is kind of a long time, huh? Do I need to remind you who’s in charge here?” He snarled. His dominance appeared out of nowhere and almost gave you whiplash. Of course, it made sense. He made it seem like you could be in charge and quickly changed his mind when you didn’t comply. Through the harsh demeanor, you could still tell that he wanted your consent for this, not sure if he could just suddenly slip into this dominant act. 

“Hmm, maybe you need to put me in my place, Daddy.” You purred. A low growl was building up in Jungkook’s chest, he pursed his lips a little and clicked his tongue. 

“Such a fucking slut,” he groaned and pulled his towel completely off, his dick already hard and standing. Precum was oozing out of its slit and slowly trickling its way down his head. Your pussy clenched at the sight of it, felt the phantom pressure of his shaft inside your walls. “Come suck me off, now.” 

The authority radiating off of him turned you on beyond belief and without hesitation you moved forward, closing your hand around his length. He breathed out, moving his hips around to get comfortable and laid his hand on top of your head. You were able to tell that he wanted you to just take him in already, putting a little pressure on and pushing you forward. Never too much, though. He still respected you too much to mistreat you.

You went down and took him in, licking along his shaft and paying attention to the grunts he made. When you suckled around his tip and flicked your tongue across his slit, he tugged at your hair particularly hard.

It felt good, he liked it when girls went down on him, but at the same time, it didn’t feel right. Jungkook would’ve hoped for you to maybe just watch a movie and eat with him. He wasn’t really up for sex, but he couldn’t take head from you and then bail. The thoughts made his dick deflate a little due to his growing discomfort. You assumed you were doing something wrong, given his reaction, and tried harder to get him up again.

But Jungkook only went softer. “Babe, this isn’t working today. I’m sorry,” he said, sounding off and stressed about something.

Curiously, you looked up at him and decided to sit back on the couch. “What’s got you thinking so much, handsome?”

Your question made him flush a faint pink, averting his eyes down. “I just...my mind’s not there. Sorry.” He threw his head against the back of the couch and grabbed his towel to cover his now limp dick.

“You don’t have to apologize, Jungkook. It’s fine, I’ll just take a cab ba-,” he scrambled up and interrupted you with his hands on your shoulders. Your mouth stood open and you leaned your head to the side in question.

“You don’t have to leave, we can just talk for a bit. I’ll pay you for the full time,” he hushed. A little confused, you raised your eyebrows and rose up from your knees to sit next to his side.

“Jungkook, I’m not here to be your friend, you know that.” Your statement was clear and he stilled, gnawing on his bottom lip.

“Please, I really want some company. I could eat you out?” He suggested. You felt bad for him, he seemed troubled and you wouldn’t be able to leave him alone like this. Your soft spot for him was already too present.

Breathing out heavy, you nodded, slapping your hand on his biceps. “Alright, get dressed and I’ll stay for a bit. Only an hour though, and you have to pay me, still. This is work time I’ll be spending with you.”

So that’s what you did, cuddling into his couch and selecting a nice series to watch when he came back with sweatpants and an oversized shirt. The TV noise started to blend into the background, neither of you paying attention to the screen and rather talking to one another.

Jungkook caved in to tell you what was bugging his mind, after long convincing of him. He revealed that his ex girlfriend contacted him again, not in a good way at all. She talked down on him in a way he didn’t specify, but you could already imagine enough. The poor boy seemed like a little puddle of sadness, talking about the rude girl and how she broke his heart three years ago.

He told you about how he only concentrated on video games to start his career and didn’t prioritize her, which made her seek the attention elsewhere. His voice cracked at a point and he stood up to get water. It was obvious that it still hurt him. 

He mentioned, once his voice was smooth again, that that was the reason why he seeked out an escort. Not wanting to risk getting hurt again, he settled for an unavoidable way to not catch feelings. Through his story, you could still tell that he was seeking company, clear to see in the way he asked you to stay, willing to pay without using your services.

Once he exhaled, done with his narrative, he went quiet. “Please tell me something about you, otherwise I’ll panic about how much I just overshared and embarrassed myself.”

You chuckled airly, nodding and preparing yourself to spill your own story. He didn’t expect to hear about your manipulative ex, who you still lived with. It made him livid — to hear about the restrictions and daily struggles your ex was causing you. 

He was expressing how much he desired to kick his ass, before he calmed down and carried a more sincere expression. “You need to get out of there, Y/N. You can’t possibly consider staying with that prick!” His voice was now collected, not laced with the irritation that he felt just a moment ago. It showed how much he considered your feelings, knowing that good advice was better instead of pointless anger.

Even though you knew he was right, you couldn’t just decide to leave, without considering all the different aspects that would come with leaving your job.

Realizing how much time went by, you straightened up. “Uh, I really have to go back now. If you won’t fuck me, I’ll leave,” you murmured. If your boss would find out about how you spent your time chatting with a customer, instead of doing your job, you couldn’t imagine what the consequences would be.

You felt awkward, mentioning your profession in a heartfelt conversation. The atmosphere was broken and he rasped his throat, sitting up as well. “Yeah, right. I’ll…let me get my wallet.”

Motioning for him to stop, you shook your hands in front of you. “No, no. Not necessary. I...really enjoyed spending time with you, Jungkook. Let’s not change the memories of today. This was just us, hanging out. Alright?”

He looked you in the eyes, seeing if you were sure of it. “Let me at least give you money for a cab?”

Biting your lip, you nodded hesitantly. “Yeah, alright,” you breathed. His gaze went down to your lips, he exhaled shakily. Reaching his hand up to your cheek, he pulled your lip from between your teeth with his thumb.

He leaned in, holding eye contact and flicking down to your lips again. Clammy hands, you waited for him to meet you, leaning in yourself. It was a soft kiss, he barely put any pressure in it. You could still taste the faint strawberry flavor of his lip balm and felt the softness of his lips.

Surprisingly, it didn’t make it awkward. You smiled at him, stood up and went to get your shoes while he got his wallet. 

“Hey, uhm...before you leave, can I maybe have your number?” He suddenly asked, collecting all his bravery and holding his breath.

With a cheeky smile, you asked, “private or work reasons? Because I’m not allowed to give clients my private information.” He grinned, scratching his nape.

“Private,” he said shyly. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to see you again...not during working hours.” You giggled, nodding and holding your hand out for his phone. After tapping in your phone number, you saved yourself with a yellow heart and told him to call you. He assured you that he would very soon.

Before turning around to open the door, he handed you the money for your ride back and after thanking him for it, you took your leave with a smile on your face. With a weird, giddy feeling in your tummy, you went and waved a cab over, driving back to the club.

Over the next few weeks your phone had your constant attention, at home, on breaks and sometimes when you hid in the back of the club ‘to prepare drinks’.

Jungkook had the best humour and sent you the greatest memes, you had no idea where he got them from, but they always made you giggle. Sometimes he tried to flirt with you, but in a gentle, undemanding way, which made it cute and your stomach felt tingly. You’ve never had this, a guy showing interest in you for more than just your body.

You lost hours of sleep, texting him at night and once you asked why he was so active this late, he revealed that he was a professional gamer. He told you all about how he used to upload YouTube videos of him playing video games with friends. Always just for fun, until people started watching and his follower count rose through the roof.

Now he was mainly streaming on Twitch, even though he still uploaded the streams to the other platform. He stayed up late at night to cut the streams and edit them a bit, revealing his passion for video editing and photography while he was at it.

Sometimes you guys would have late night calls, you would listen to his voice and his tales about the latest games he reviewed. Once you told him about how much you loved to play video games yourself, it was a constant topic of your conversations.

At the beginning, he held back, not wanting to bore you with this kind of thing. The memory of his girlfriend and her hatred towards all video games flashing his mind. But with you shyly admitting that you always wanted to learn how to be really good at gaming, he couldn’t stop himself.

“You have to come over sometime, I’ll teach you how to get the best aim!” He exclaimed one time. You mentioned that you couldn’t play any video games at home, your boss didn’t want you to use his console and you didn’t have the money to buy one yourself.

Some nights you both fell into deep conversation about less fun matters, Jungkook insisting for you to find a job elsewhere and get out of your ex's apartment. You could only agree, but didn’t want to kill his hopes and tell him that nobody wanted to hire somebody with your history.

It wasn’t like you hadn’t tried before.

When the mood went more down the gutter, with time you started to reciprocate his flirting. Even sending one or two risky pictures of yourself, barely wearing anything. Jungkook could only groan when he looked at your body, looking gorgeous even just on screen. He’d prefer having the real version in front of him, but the pictures did what they were intended to do just fine.

He’d grip his half erect cock over his sweatpants and send it to you, telling you to finish what you started. You declined most of the time, giggling at home in front of your screen. Teasing was still the best weapon against a horny guy in his twenties, it always proved itself to be effective.

Only once did you give in, replying to him with all the things you wanted him to do to you. With the image of you, naked in his bed and moaning wantonly like you previously did that one night, he jerked himself off, sweaty and moaning your name. 

But the sudden attention towards your phone didn’t go unnoticed by your ex. He side eyed you when you giggled at the screen, tapping away with a grin on your face.

“What’s got you all giggly, huh?” He asked, forgetting about the dinner that was in front of him on the table. His tone wasn’t teasing, not even happy the slightest. It was controlling and insistent, not giving you space to deny his question.

“Uhm…,” you fumbled. You couldn’t tell him that you were chatting with a client, but he wouldn’t allow you to have a relationship outside of your job, either.

“It’s just a friend,” you tried to lie. You looked at him with a careful expression to see if he believed you, but his scowl proved contrary.

“You don’t have friends, who are you talking to? Should I remind you of your place, whore?” His voice raised with the words and he ended it with the screaming insult. You ducked your head in, shying away from him and locking your phone. “Give me your fucking phone, right now, if you want to live to see the next day.”

His hand reached out for the phone, but when you tucked it back to retreat from the table, he stood up and grabbed your upper arm. “Who do you think you are, disobeying me in my own house like this?”

His grip on you was hard and he squeezed until you dropped the device and he finally let go, letting you pull away. With slow steps he walked around the table like a predator, eyes still on your shocked face and snatched the phone away, looking at the display to see Jungkook’s last message. 

Gukkie [7.36 PM]: are you gonna come over tonight? Missing you.

“Do you really have to prove what a slut you are? Like I don’t already know?” He growled. Your crying blurred your sight so you only heard the slam of your phone on the table, looking up at him when he continued, “If you don’t want to end up on the street without a job, I’d suggest you to not test my limits.”

The words were final. He left the kitchen with a smirk on his face, proud that he put you back in your place. After he completely dismissed your crying figure, you could only hold your shaking figure as you sat in your chair, dinner getting cold in front of you.

You were splayed across Taehyung’s lap, bored from the conversation he and his company were having. Business usually wouldn’t be discussed in a club such as this, but Taehyung doesn’t realize these limits like others, uncaring about the location.

He pulled at his cigar and blew it away from your face, knowing how much you hate the smoke. He patted your thigh when you started to get squirmish, urging you to sit still.

Obediently, you straightened up, sighing. He gave your temple a barely there kiss, whispering into your ear, “getting impatient? Want me to fuck you tired and compliant?”

You whined, looking for his eyes, but he still had his gaze set on the man sitting on the couch across from him. The past few weeks, Taehyung was the only man accompanying you, so you had to keep him close. If he’d seek out another girl, you wouldn’t earn enough money to stay at your ex’s place. So it was natural for you to use your weapons, grinding on Taehyung’s lap until his sharp look made you whimper.

He noticed your advances and grinned, apologizing to his business partner, “I have to attend other matters now.”

Grinning, you stood up and dragged Taehyung up to the rooms. Usually, he wouldn’t put up with your behavior, hadn’t he told you before the conversation started, that he wanted you to give him a reason for an early leave.

This was going to be an extra big tip. Literally.

Before you could disappear up the stairs, your colleague called after you. “A client called and asked for you. Jungkook? He said you’d know who he was?”

She waited for your answer while you looked back at Taehyung. You really needed the money from him and your boss told you to separate private and work life, after he found out that you were conversing with a client.

“Uhm...I’m kind of not free right now?” You said sheepishly. Eying the man who walked a few stairs up, you bit your lip. You missed Jungkook, but you couldn’t risk your job. “Can you send someone else?”

“Oh yeah, I’ll just go myself? If you’re fine with me taking your customer?”

You nodded with half a mind, pushing the ugly thoughts to the back of your mind and rushed to catch up to Taehyung.

Jungkook wasn’t sure about any of this. When he called an escort and you came, he started to genuinely like you. Calling another girl over felt wrong, but he was lonely and didn’t know what to do when you disappeared. Not even ramen noodles, cheap beer and video games helped that.

His best friend was busy with deadlines and other friends weren’t in Jungkook's vocabulary. When you didn’t reply to his texts, he called the club, but you were busy. What was he supposed to do?

He would have to get the best out of this.

So he opened the door when the bell rang and let the woman inside. “I’m Candy, and you must be Jungkook?” The prostitute said with a wink and allowed herself to stride through his apartment. He swallowed the dread down and nodded, following her movements with his eyes.

“Come here,” she purred, patting the back of the couch and striding around it to sit down. He gulped loudly this time and touched his ears slightly, before walking towards her.

When he sat down, she caressed his thigh, scooting closer and putting her right hand into his hair. “What are you into, cutie?” She giggled.

What was with escorts thinking he would be submissive just because he was shy?

“A bunch of things, actually.” His tone was cold and distant, it surprised him. She didn’t seem to care or notice much, humming and moving in to kiss his jawline.

With a hurried move she pulled his face close and placed her lips onto his, starting to bite his lip and lick into his mouth. Candy overly exaggerated her moaning and moved her hand up to his crotch.

Before she could start to rub over the fabric of his jeans, Jungkook’s hand flew to hers and held it away from him. Pulling back, he removed her hand from his hair and looked like a deer caught in the headlight.

“I-...I can’t do this, I’m really sorry,” he whispered, his eyes filling with tears and his bottom lip wobbling. 

She was taken aback, trying to read the situation, but staying clueless. “What do you mean?” She asked in panic, “what’s going on?”

“I just-,” he stopped, looking down at his hands laying in his lap. “I really like someone else and this feels...wrong. I’m really sorry.” His words shocked himself as well as her, trying to cope with the realisation.

She sat there, looking at him with a blank expression on her face. But Jungkook really couldn’t care about what she thought, he had just realized his feelings for a woman who was now ignoring him after seeming to be interested. He didn’t know what to do, he was lost and sad about liking you.

A tear slipped past his eyes and across his cheek, dropping onto his hand. He wiped it away quickly, moving to stand up. “I didn’t want to waste your time, I’ll still pay for the full hour. Let me get my wallet and then you can go back to actually work.”

He sounded heartbroken and even though she was only here for the money, Candy couldn’t leave him to be on his own, not like this. So she let the words slip, curiosity getting the better of her, “Do you like who I think it is? Because I noticed that she started texting someone and it was after she came back from yours last time, that she started to seem happier.”

Her words made him only feel worse, couldn’t believe how he made you happy, but you still decided to ditch him.

It made him legitimately start to sob.

He sat back down again with his hands over his eyes and shaking shoulders. “Ohh no! Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I really didn’t want to make you upset I-...” she trailed off, patting Jungkook’s shoulder.

“This is ridiculous!” He exclaimed, roughly wiping his tears. “I’m an idiot! I fell in love with someone who only saw me as a client and I took it too far!”

She kept moving her hand up and down his back and tried to calm him down.

In the end, after he collected himself again, Jungkook apologized for his breakdown. When he wanted to pay her extra, she waved him off, “you had to deal with my mess, it’s only fair!” he said.

But she insisted that she did it because she wanted to, she could’ve just left after he didn’t want to have sex. “You’re really sweet and I hope you’ll find a girl who appreciates it, but stop trying to get Y/N out of this. It won’t work,” she said, smiling sadly and turning to the door.

Jungkook sat down on his couch again, leaning back and looking at the ceiling. “I wish I could stop.”

Gukkie [10.28 PM]: Y/N please let me talk to you :(

Gukkie [11.57 PM]: Is it me? Did I do something wrong?

Seeing Jungkook’s messages hurt your soul, but you couldn’t respond. And you didn’t even want to. You couldn’t mean this much to him if he just went ahead and ordered another girl home.

You knew that he was just another client, but you still thought it meant more than just sex to him. Why did he even bother putting in the effort? If he wanted your body, he could have it for the money. He proved that when he went and fucked your colleague the moment you didn’t come around.

But you did ignore him for a few weeks now...and the fact that he still tried to reach you?

Maybe Jungkook wasn’t the bad guy you thought him to be. Maybe you were just doing this to get over the little tug your heart felt every time you thought of him. To make living here easier, get that bullseye off of your head, that your ex saw ever since he knew of Jungkook.

He had made it his mission to make your home a living hell and to keep you away from Jungkook. You didn’t know why you couldn’t just leave.

Maybe you were waiting for someone to save you. But that someone was buzzing your phone and you didn’t let him in.

You were too afraid.

A week passed with a lot of things on your mind. You were constantly thinking about Jungkook, how he still tried to reach out to you. You couldn’t understand his motives behind that, did he not realize that you knew of the other escort? If he thought you’d just forget about how he replaced you this quickly, he was wrong. Even though this was just work, it really did hurt you.

For most of the time, Taehyung had been visiting the club more frequently. He was still very keen on you and payed you extra most of the time, ‘for good company and good character’.

Everytime he left, your ex looked at you proudly. It made things easier for you at home. He let you eat in peace, sometimes even allowed you to sit and watch TV instead of growling at you to move to your room. When you thought you could live like this, Jungkook’s words sneaked into your head. Were you just trying to adjust to the situation or did it really get better?

Jungkook was right about telling you that you had to get out of this. Feeling yourself adjusting to living with your manipulative ex and selling your body wasn’t enjoyable, but inevitable if you were going to stay.

But how would you even manage to get away? Right now, you didn’t have any qualifications for a good job. And not much savings to even get a hotel room for a bit until you had an income and would get your own place.

“What’s taking you this long? It’s just a few drinks.” A voice boomed through the backroom you were standing in, facing the wall. It was Namjoon, one of Taehyung’s business partners, you could tell them apart by their voice easily. You didn’t bother with turning around when you heard steps and Bunny appeared as well.

“Y/N? Let me do this, there’s someone outside waiting for you.” Her tone was too happy for it to be a customer and you looked at her cheeky smile, once she arrived at the bar you were standing at.

She hurried you out of the back, alongside the tall man who complained. On your way to the entrance you walked past the booth Taehyung was sitting in, eyeing you with a questioning look.

Making an apologetic face, you shrugged and walked past, your heels clicking on the dark hardwood floor. Once out of the main area, you saw a man standing with his back to you, waiting. While he was obviously the one who asked of you, you couldn’t exactly tell if you knew him.

He was wearing a black hat, leather jacket and blue jeans. You couldn’t help the little spark of hope when you asked, “Jungkook?” Into the almost empty hall.

He turned around, dismissing the greek paintings hung onto the wall in favor of Aphrodite’s Erotes’ theme. Not knowing what to feel when you faced the man who’d been trying to reach you for weeks now, you reeled back a bit.

He hurt you, but you still missed him so much. Was this a pattern of yours? Falling for the men who hurt you the most?

“What are you doing here?” Your question made his little smile fall, his eyes growing when he saw your hesitant posture, ready to turn around and leave him there.

“I came here to see you, Y/N. You weren’t answering my calls or messages, I needed to see you.” His voice was soft, but still reverberated in the entrance hall. 

“Well, I’m busy. You can fuck one of the other girls though, right?” You spoke sarcastically, your tone full of anger and demand. You crossed your arms in front of your chest and furrowed your brows. Jungkook opened his mouth to reply but his voice got stuck in his throat. 

Trying to figure out why you were this angry at him turned out to be harder than he expected. “I’m not here for sex, Y/N. I really needed to-“

“This is a bordello, Jungkook. If you’re not here for sex, then leave.” He fished for words, taking a step towards you with worry in his eyes.

“This is his fault, am I right? He must’ve done something to you, you wouldn’t push me away like this on your own. I didn’t just imagine the way you looked at me.”

“Stop trying to solve me like I’m a puzzle! Stop contacting me and stop trying to act like you’re the innocent one here! You’re just the same as him, you lied to me and still act like you’d do everything for me! Go fuck someone else over, Jungkook.” Your voice became hoarse through half of your outburst and his eyes only grew, his mouth open because he couldn’t believe what you were saying.

“Y/N, I’m not trying to solve you, I’m trying to help and understand you. Please just talk to me! What did I do for you to bring me on one level with your asshole of an ex-boyfriend? When did I ever do any harm to you?” He gestured wildly with his hands in the air and walked closer to you, desperation in his eyes clear and he sounded really clueless.

“You fucked my coworker! Just because I wasn’t free for you to fuck! If you just wanted my body like everyone else, then why did you feel the need to go overboard and make me fall for you, Jungkook? Why do you have to hurt me when I’m already down?” Tears started to collect and you tried to fight them off. He gasped, quickly rushing over to your side and standing in front of you. You were holding yourself, trying to contain your shaking and felt small against his tall, broad frame.

“No, Y/N. I didn’t sleep with Candy, or anyone else beside you for the matter. I called her over, yes. But I just couldn’t do it. I tried to get over you, tried to make me realize that I’m just a customer for you. As soon as I hung up, I regretted it. We kissed, but I stopped her and...fuck. Y/N I fucking sobbed in front of her.” He laid his hands on your cheeks and looked you in the eye, “I never thought that I’d be able to fall for someone else after my ex hurt me. But you were there for me when you could’ve just left like everyone else did.”

He looked at you like he was searching for something inside of your eyes. “I never wanted to hurt you. I just want you next to me, smiling and safe. Can you believe me?”

Your bottom lip wobbled and you reached up to lay your hand on top of his. “Jungkook, why can’t you make me hate you? It would be so much easier…” you muttered. Before you could say any more, steps could be heard. They were quick and when they came to a stop, you realized in what compromising position you were in.

“Y/N, did you forget where you are?” Bunny said with panic in her voice. “Taehyung is looking for you, please just get back in.”

You looked at her, seeing her big eyes. She was ready to walk back and you nodded, sending her an assuring smile. After Bunny left, you turned back to Jungkook. With much hesitation, you searched for words. “I’ll text you, once I’m not working.”

He searched for the lie in your eyes, you could tell he was unsure about leaving. “But do you accept my apology? Will you come over soon?” He asked hastily, knowing you had to get back to work. “I really want to help you, please let me,” he whispered, staring into your eyes a final time. When you nodded slowly, you took his hands off of your face.

“I know you want to, but my boss was really angry at me when he saw me texting a customer. I shouldn’t be privately affiliated with you,” you confessed.

Jungkook was biting his lip, looking down at his feet. “I’m sorry if you got in trouble over me,” he murmured. “I won’t be a customer, Y/N. I’m in this for you, not for sex.”

You looked at his face for a short, quiet moment. The pause made Jungkook reach for more words. “Come over tonight, after your work.”

His request seemed innocent, but your need to clarify took over, “but no sex! And it’ll be late until I get out.” You just had to make sure Jungkook really meant what he was saying.

He breathily chuckled at the finger that you poked in his chest, nodding as he engulfed your hand in his. You smiled at each other for the shortest moment before he whispered that ‘you should go, he’ll wait for you’.

Going back in, Bunny visibly relaxed next to her own customer, looking at you intensely. You put your index finger in front of your mouth, motioning to keep quiet about your visitor.

After your shift at the club was over, you packed your things in the changing room for all the girls that work at Aphrodite’s Erotes. Just when you were done with brushing your hair out, Candy stepped in through the door. The air immediately felt tense, the both of you meeting eyes but not saying a word.

You couldn’t explain why you felt the way you did towards her, when you were the one who told Candy to take Jungkook’s call. Now that you knew they didn’t have sex, you felt bad. It wasn’t right to be jealous when Jungkook was supposed to be a customer, it didn’t matter that he wasn’t anymore. This is after all still your job, you couldn’t start a war with your coworker.

Wetting your lips, you checked if she was occupied, seeing her apply her lipstick. “I heard that you and Jungkook didn’t fuck. So I’m sorry for being weird to you,” you said, looking at her with a sincere expression. You weren’t closer than colleagues usually are, so an apology felt out of place, but you knew it was necessary.

“You know, Jungkook is a really nice guy. But he just won’t accept that you’re in this life, you know?” Candy trailed while she still touched up parts of her makeup, leaning over the sink to get close to the mirror. “He seemed like he was forreal about you. But in a different way than Taehyung. He likes you too, as his bitch.”

You thought about her words, knowing that she was right. For Taehyung the lines between work and privacy were set in stone, you belong into his work life. It was a business deal, to be with you for his money. He didn’t have the time to go out and occupy himself with girls who try to trick him for his money, so he’d rather go out and instantly pay. This way you both knew where you were for each other.

It was like this for Jungkook, at the beginning at least. But he started to like you, ultimately not his goal when he decided to order an escort. Still, you could tell that he meant his words, you believe that he’s in it for you. Nodding, you turn away from Candy to pick up your bag.

“I’m not sure if I can do this for much longer. I’m not made to be in this life, Candy.” She looked at you through the reflection, standing behind her. “I did this because I loved someone who isn’t here for me anymore. I really want to get out of this.”

Your words made her smile in a pitying way. “Baby, if you wanna get out, try it. But where are you supposed to go?” Her question made sense, you’d been asking yourself this ever since you got dragged into this life.

Without responding to her question, maybe because you didn’t know the answer yet, you left the changing room and the whole building after saying goodbye to Bunny. Exiting the club and walking onto the streets, you grabbed your phone, checking your messages.

Gukkie [9.26 PM]: Are you already on your way? Do I need to pick you up?

You [9.34 PM]: I’m out now. I’ll get an uber, be there in 15.

When you were just about to close the messenger app to call yourself a car, the bubble meaning Jungkook was typing, popped up.

Gukkie [9.35]: I’m waiting in the parking lot actually, I knew you wouldn’t ask me for a ride ;)

Exhaling a breath that was visible because of the cold air, you chuckled quietly to yourself.

“You cooked? I thought you survived on ramen,” you said, surprise evident in your tone. Jungkook grinned proudly and pointed to the plates full of pasta, cheese on top and even real forks and spoons laid out.

As he walked towards his couch table, because that’s the only surface besides the kitchen counter in this apartment apparently, Jungkook explained the reason for his efforts. “I thought I should let us get a bit of a reset. I want to get to know you, without your work between us.” 

His words could’ve made you tear up, if you weren’t so hungry. You supposed emotions could come after your hunger has been stilled and the pasta has been consumed, it really did look delicious.

“Noodles are my forte, as ramen and pasta are in the same family, it has to be good. Don’t tell me otherwise, my feelings will get hurt.” He sniffed, playing up the act and pressing his hand where his heart sits in his chest. Laughing at his antics, you sat down next to him, grabbing your plate. “Please have a taste,” he wrapped up his speech.

It didn’t take much more than the first bite to realize, Jungkook really was talented with noodles. Moaning at the taste, you munched on the pasta and creamy sauce, turning over to the waiting man. With big eyes, he’d been watching you, waiting for your final conclusion. “It’s delicious! The best pasta I’ve probably ever had!”

This left him in delight, finally taking his own bite and throwing his body back against the couch. When he swallowed the food down, he groaned in satisfaction, “I’m such a good cook, my god.”

The rest of the meal was spent mostly in the quiet, Jungkook turned a playlist on to play for background noise. From time to time you complimented him again, making a blush slowly fade onto his protruding cheeks, eyes smiling too.

After the plates were almost licked off, you sat back into the couch pillows and watched Jungkook as he walked to his kitchen, used dishes clinking when he put them into the sink to let them soak.

Jungkook went to get into a bit more comfortable clothes than the jeans he was wearing, he offered you to change as well. You declined the offer, thanking him but thinking it wouldn’t be appropriate to wear his clothes.

Deciding that you should watch a movie, you tried to pick up a bit of small talk, to fill the quietness while Jungkook was searching through his movie collection. “That really was one of the greatest pasta I’ve ever eaten, Jungkook.” The compliment made him turn around with a big smile from where he was sitting on the floor, so you continued, “what’s your secret?”

“If I tell you, I have nothing to bribe you with to come over again,” he joked. Having the movie on start, ready to play, you completely missed what he picked out before sitting back down next to you. “It’s just adding the pasta water, is all.”

He still wore the gentle smile and his lips wouldn’t falter, leaning back into his couch and pressing play. The movie blasted through the sound system in his living room, giving a better experience.

The experience was great until about half an hour into the movie, when you accidentally looked down to the side and saw how Jungkook’s legs were spread open, innocently enough. The short sweatpants he was wearing were up until his knees but bunched together from sitting, so his thighs were on show and you remembered how good they felt underneath your fingertips. Just rippling muscles and golden skin, deliciously broad and full on display for your hungry eyes.

Jungkook and you hadn’t had any physical interaction past a few gentle touches ever since you were at his place weeks ago, so you were deprived of the feelings of his rough hands on your skin. They’d glide across your back, holding you up on his lap, looking up at your lust filled eyes. The way he would guide your movements to rub your cunt across his meaty legs, whisper encouraging words and filthy names. You could feel yourself getting hotter, pressing your own thighs against each other to create some sort of friction but suddenly, the very man of your heated daydream interrupted your fantasies.

“Y/N, are you even watching the movie?” He asked, looking at you, now sitting cross legged and turned to you on the couch. Realizing how long you’ve probably stared at his crotch and thighs, you turned red almost immediately. You felt your face heating up and could imagine very well what you’d look like, eyes opened wide as you felt like you’d been caught in the act.

“No,” you admitted honestly. Gulping, you scooted closer to Jungkook and tried reaching in to his frame but he raised one eyebrow sceptically.

He leaned back a little and took a hold of your wrist, looking in your eyes to regard you with a concerned expression. “You know that’s not what I invited you here for. No sex,” he said sternly, of course he saw where you were looking and after weeks of calls and text messages, he knew many of your thoughts. Including how much self respect is missing from you. “You’re here for a date, Y/N. I’m not expecting anything from this other than some quality time with the girl I have an embarrassingly huge crush on.”

Jungkook’s voice was laced with humor but his sincerity never wavered. He truly meant it and it made you feel horrible. “But that’s what I’m always there for, Jungkook. How do you not want to fuck me right now, I don’t understand it.”

After you spoke those words, you looked up from your hands in your lap to see his eyes full of regret. “You shouldn’t ever reduce yourself to a body. Baby, you’re a person, with valid feelings. You’re so much more worth than just sex,” he said, fully loaded with all his feelings.

“Just because I want to see you, doesn’t mean I need sex. And just because I say ‘let’s not have sex’, doesn’t mean you’re not desirable. You’re still the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen, but I want this to be more than pleasure.”

His rant, words spoken with a soft tone, made your bottom lip wobble a bit, not being able to contain your feelings. Never has anyone ever told you that you’d be worth more than the price your body costs, that you’re deserving of just enjoying time with somebody. It shook you up, to see how much you mean to him, he would’ve just given up on you long ago if you wouldn’t be special to him.

Trying to wipe your tears away from your cheeks before they could roll down to your chin, you nodded, showing Jungkook that you understood what he had said. You understood that he wasn’t rejecting you, but that he just wanted to have a nice evening with you.

When you looked up at him again, eyes a little red and watery, he took your face in his hands. Wiping the tears off with his thumbs, he smiled at you. “You’re so beautiful, I can’t believe I’m lucky enough to look at you right now. I’m undeserving of such a wonderful girl right in front of me.”

You exhaled a laugh, still sounding like you were crying but he could tell he made you feel better. “Can I kiss it better?” He whispered, inching closer.

Nodding, you held eye contact and sniffled a bit, waiting to meet his lips. When they finally clashed, it was soft, sensual. Full of emotions and you could feel how much he tried to hold you with care. He didn’t move his tongue onto your lips, just pressed his soft kiss and poured his heart out. After you parted, his hands still on each side of your face, he pressed his forehead against yours and closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again to look at you, his teeth were on display, his lips parting to show you his widest smile.

“I’m in this with you, if you let me. I won’t give you up.”

When you came home that night, you were determined. Before opening the door, you rid yourself of the playful smile, dreaming about the way Jungkook held your hand during the drive to your place. He insisted on bringing you home, wanting to spend as much time with you as he could. When your hand was already resting on the door, he reached in and kissed your cheek, wishing you a good night. Jungkook had no clue that you already decided to leave as soon as you would be alone at home tomorrow. Once your ex will go to work, as late as ever, you’ll pack your things and get out of your own personal hell.

That was at least the plan. Until you got called in because the club was low on girls, rushing into work even though you should’ve been on your way out of the apartment with your luggage. But now it was sitting in your room, only half packed and waiting for you to get it.

Your nerves were at an all time high, not being able to concentrate on anything other than ‘how is your plan going to work out now?’

“Are you okay?” The sudden noise from behind your back made you flinch, turning around with your eyes opened wide in shock. Bunny stood in the doorway, looking at you questioningly. “You seem out of your mind today. Maybe you should go home,” she suggested.

You considered it. If you’d leave now, you could still make it before your ex will come home. But you felt bad leaving your friend almost alone on a semi busy night in the club. She saw your worry, smiling at you. “I’m telling you to leave, no buts! Get some rest and be better on your next shift.”

“Thank you, Bunny. I love you, I’ll text you as soon as I can,” you hushed with hurry. Her confused face was expected, you never once told her that you don’t want to be in this life. “I’m so sorry, I’ll go now.”

She must think you would go down with a fever, the way she looked at you seemed to speak her mind, you must be going crazy. None of it made sense to her, but you knew she’d get it once the employees had to carry out the hell that you built them tonight. Your ex was furious and he wouldn’t hold back to take it out on the other girls.

The rest of your bags were packed quickly. You never had a lot of things so you ended up with one backpack on top of your suitcase, a duffel bag slung over your back already.

Right when you closed the door to your cleaned out room, turning to the hallway, that would lead to your freedom — a key turned in the lock of the front door. You could feel the fear and tears building up in you, only imagining what was going to happen now.

And your ex, your personal devil, went beyond all you could’ve had imagined. Once he saw you, he let loose, screaming and throwing things. You flinched, curling into your frame and crying, sobbing. “What do you think you’re doing? Where do you think you’re going?” He furiously asked, burning eyes held on your shaking body. “You have nowhere to go! Except for back into that goddamn room of yours.”

Your sobs turned high in pitch, breathless and panic cursed through your veins. You knew, this couldn’t continue on like it was. But your nerves were failing you.

It started becoming a challenge to get air into your lungs and when you looked up with panicked eyes, you saw your ex coming closer, raising his hands, reaching to you. The stress made itself more present by raising a high pitched noise in your ears, blending out all noise and the voice of the man coming closer blurred out. Everything felt far away and when he finally grabbed your arm and yanked you to your right, you yelped. Seeing his hand raise to impact with your face, you clicked into autopilot.

In seconds, you renewed your hold on your baggage and you made a run to the door. It wasn’t far away, not even closed yet. Without looking back, still fighting the blurred out noises, you ran as quickly down the few stairs, out on the street and meters along the sidewalk.

Once you breathlessly stopped, collapsed down on the pathway, you looked back. He hadn’t followed you. Pitiful sobs escaped your throat once more, shaking with the adrenaline of finally escaping. You couldn’t stay there, the risk of him following you wasn’t out of the picture yet and you needed to call someone.

Like a punch into your gut, you realized that you just gave up everything. But the thought of Jungkook made everything seem like an easy battle. You’ll get through this.

That is what you repeated in your head as you started walking along the streets in the dark, dialling the saved number and sobbing into the speaker once he groaned a greeting.

“What happened, why are you crying?” He asked, suddenly sounding alert. “I’m sorry, Baby. I was asleep, I just — he what?”

At your slow explanation, disturbed by hiccups and sniffles, he put down his phone and slipped into his clothes. “Share your location with me, I’ll be right there. Don’t talk to anyone, okay? I’ll be quick!”

He hung up and you sat down on the curb after you did as he asked, shaky hands making it harder to press and your tears blurred your vision. You held your knees to your chest, laying your head down on them and breathing out heavily. It felt like no time passed when suddenly, the familiarity of Jungkook’s arms was around you, hugging you close to his body.

“Come on up, let me help you.” He guided you into the backseat, came around and sat down himself. With a short look at him, you started crying all over again. “Hey, stop crying. Please, I’ll cry too.”

He was gentle with the way he talked to you, trying to calm you down and make you look at him. “It’s fine, you’re fine.” His whispered words made you relax a little bit into the seat and to his orders you reached back to find the seatbelt, pulling it only for Jungkook to take it from you and securing it. He reached his hands up and wiped your cheek a bit with the back of his fingers, cooing at your pitiful sniffles.

On the drive to Jungkook’s place, after he went back out to get your luggage, he played calming music and you curled into yourself, lone tears still straying, shock still evident. Your ex was going to hit you, he never went that far before. He would’ve pushed you or gripped your arm harshly but he never once hit you in the face. If you wouldn’t have ran away, he would have beat you to a pulp and you shuddered at the thought.

The gentle touch of Jungkook’s hand on your shoulder shook the images out of your mind and made you look at him. Once you nodded that you were fine, he turned off the car and stepped out, retrieving your bags and making sure your steps were secure enough so you could walk on your own. They were shaky but still grounded, so you staggered in front of him through the parking lot and into the building.

Once in his apartment, Jungkook made you sit down on the couch and murmured that he was going to brew some tea, it was going to calm you down. And it did, you curled up into Jungkook’s side as he let you ramble your thoughts about the day and he just listened. Brushing up and down your back to soothe you when you started crying again, he took the half empty cup away from your hands and held you with both arms close to his chest. Jungkook turned his head to kiss the top of your head and whispered, “you did it, Y/N. You’re so strong.”

Somewhere along the way you fell asleep, causing Jungkook to carry you into his bed, unmade from how he sprung up when you called. He tucked you in, making sure the blanket covered you and put a glass of water on his nightstand in case you’d wake up thirsty. Out of respect and self restraint, he decided to grab a blanket and crash on the couch.

Jungkook’s couch was comfortable, the blanket was soft and the pillow just right. Still, sleep wasn’t welcoming him. He closed his eyes and tried his best to drift off, the hour of sleep he got before you called him wasn’t blessing him right now. He’s awake, so he sat up again. If he couldn’t sleep, he could at least work.

Work, as in start filming a video of him playing his newest game, a completely new and never seen before first person shooter. It was clearly a rip off but he had to review it since they sent him the game for free and will get extra pay if people use his code to buy the game. Giving it his all, headphones on and trying to keep it quiet because you were in his bedroom sleeping, he laid down an awesome game and just started to sum up his opinions of it, when he saw the light in the hallway flicker on.

Sucking air through his teeth, he knew you must’ve woken up and probably came to complain. When he turned his head around the back of the chair, his heart turned liquid. You came out barefoot and wearing his sweater, which was out because he was wearing it to sleep earlier and pulled it off when he left the house. It was an old, worn sweater but you still looked precious in it, no pants and ruffled hair. Your face was puffy from all the crying and your eyes were swollen and red as well.

“Hey,” he greeted you, voice just above a whisper and full of worry. “Did I wake you? I’m sorry, Baby.” Jungkook turned his chair around to look at you fully.

You shook your head slowly and walked closer, looking at his screen. “Are you making a video?” Your voice was sleep drunken and he had to pull himself together to not coo at you.

Instead, he hummed and pulled you towards him with a hand on your hip. “Wanna see?” You nodded and sat down on his lap, surprising him but ultimately Jungkook decided to just quietly thank God for his blessings. Turning now both of you around again, he pulled up the already saved file of the screen recording and the separate one of his face. “I have to edit my face camera onto the game so it fits and then I have to edit out unnecessary time or lame moments.” He explained.

You leaned back into his chest, resting your head in his nape and watching him cut scenes out or edit them so that they fit, adding music and doing all kinds of other things that you were too tired to pay attention to. When he whispered that he now only has to film his review and add it onto the file, you glanced at the clock on his screen, gasping when you realized how much time went by. “Do you always spend so much time on just one video?”

“Yeah, it has to be perfect. I have a lot of followers, they won’t accept an uncut video with no background music and a fancy intro anymore. Quality is important, you know?” The nerd started to show and Jungkook couldn’t stop himself from explaining more, “when I play a game and the match doesn’t turn out good enough, I have to refilm everything.”

Stunned at the work he puts into his gaming career, but also extremely worn out from the day, you yawned and stretched with a squeaky noise.

“Can I watch you play sometime?” You asked after you sat up straighter on his lap, turning your face towards his own.

He smiled at you, turning away to close the tabs on his computer before he layed back in his chair, “Hell yeah you can, or you could just join me for a match?”

Surprisingly, your Ex hadn’t bothered to find you. He had everything needed to seek out Jungkook’s place; the most obvious person for you to escape to. But instead, Bunny called you a few times over the last week that you’ve been out of the club.

She told you about the morning after you ran away, how confused all the girls were. Your ex-boyfriend and now ex-boss let her know about you leaving and showed no anger towards anyone but you. He’d clearly displayed the displeasure whenever your name fell but unexpectedly didn’t leave it out on one of the other girls.

“He announced just tonight that he found a new one, you’re being replaced by a complete rookie!” Bunny said, full of drama. “And Taehyung, I feel so bad for him. Maybe he really cared for you, Y/N.”

That did leave you with a bit of guilt, you disappeared for everyone else and didn’t ever thank Taehyung for how well he treated you, given the circumstances. He was your best customer at the club and was almost always respectful towards you and whether or not you’d be in the mood. “But he already found a liking to another girl, at a different club!” Bunny announced just before you could really think about it.

“So many people are disappointed about you leaving, it’s insane! One of my main customers told me about how a lot of people only stayed for you, our Boss is fuming with the loss of clients!”

That did soothe your soul a tiny bit, made your chest swell with pride. Even though you never wanted this life, proven by the lack of pseud and different identity. Bunny, Candy, all the other girls at the club — they enjoy being a different person, different name and completely new life. You never did that, your Ex being completely apathetic towards your comfort in the club.

Sure, it was a risk to go by your real name. At least you never lost track of who you are this way. Talking to Bunny was fun for a bit, but after three calls in one week you had to break it to her. “You know that I’m never coming back, right? And I can’t keep in contact with you much longer. I have to leave all this behind me, Bunny.”

She sighed, agreed with you and wished you the best for your life from now on. With mischief in her voice, she’d also voiced her congratulations towards a certain young man who stood in the kitchen, cooking dinner for you both. “I love you, Bunny. I’ll never forget how great of a friend you were to me.”

Before the tears that were building up could fall, you hung up. Exhaling a big breath, you stood up and joined Jungkook behind the kitchen counters, hugging him from behind.

“Are you okay, Angel?” He murmured, noticing the tension in your movements. You hummed, nodding sideways against his shoulders and kissing the fabric that laid over his back.

“I’m fine, I know I’m doing the right thing. It was good to hear about all that I’ve left behind, even hearing about my clients felt kind of reassuring.”

Jungkook fumbled around with the pots and pans on the stove before he turned around quickly. An obviously overplayed expression of shock laced over his face, he exclaimed, “I just realized that I have to prove myself against all these men! I have to be the best man who you’ve ever laid with!” He put his hand on his heart with momentum, resulting in a thumb and an almost unnoticed wrinkle of his eyebrow.

You laughed at the display of drama, invading Jungkook’s space and laying one hand on his chest, the other on his cheek. You caressed his cheek and drove back to get a gentle grip in his hair. “You already are, Jungkook. Don’t worry about that,” you breathed against his lips, pulling him closer and feeling the corners of his mouth raise into a smile. 

With heat in your stomach, you leaned in to give him a passionate kiss, slowly licking against his bottom lip and when Jungkook opened his mouth to align it with yours, he sucked on your tongue and pulled you close to his frame with both of his hands on your hips. One of them slid down to your bottom, gently rubbing the skin, still covered by your shorts, before he moaned into the kiss and grabbed a handful of your plump asscheek.

Reluctantly, you parted yourself from his kiss, already missing the press of his lips against yours and looked into his eyes with a glare full of desire. “But you can always prove it again,” you purred suggestively before completely parting yourself from his hold and walking out of the kitchen. “Make sure the food isn’t burning!”

Living with Jungkook had a lot of perks, besides his large movie collection, the delicious food and the regular cuddles he provided for you. For example, the way that you laid down for a good night's rest in his bed before you heard slow tapping on the floor. The shadow in the doorway was predictable, Jungkook standing there and seeing if you were still awake, before he walked closer and put his one knee down on the mattress.

“You know, I’m still hungry.” He said, a playful glint in his eyes as he threw his other leg over your body, covered by the blanket. “How about dessert?” He wiggled his brows, crawling over you to be directly above your face.

“I’m kind of full, though. You can have some yourself,” before you could roll to the side with a giggle, he planted his hand down on the pillow right next to your face.

“Or,” his voice dropped an octave lower, “you could sit on my face, Baby.” Unwillingly, a whimper left your mouth and you scanned his face for any sign he was just trying to make a joke. You hadn’t gotten a hand on this godly man right in front of you for weeks and for him to so casually offer his tongue, the one that curled together so well with your own, was cruel. “Seems like you’d want that?” 

His cocky tone made the pull towards him even stronger and without much more thinking, you hissed out a curse before you threw your arms around his neck and pulled Jungkook close to your body, moaning deeply into the kiss. He slotted against you perfectly, moving around to remove the blanket from your body and with a strong grip on your waist, he almost ripped your shorts, including your panties, down your legs.

“Fuck,” he groaned, moving his hand up and down your thigh before he slid to the inner leg and hesitantly brushed across your lips. “Are you sure you’re ready for this, Baby? You don’t have to,” he hushed once he lifted himself up on one hand.

“Yes, I really want it. Please, Jungkook. Please make me cum.” He moaned loudly and closed his eyes forcefully, seemingly collecting himself. His chest filled with air quickly and moved with it, the friction moving against you.

“Okay, let’s switch places,” he said, hurrying the both of you around so that he was laying down on the pillow. You sat across his lap with no clue how to go about this, before Jungkook saw your obvious struggle and pulled your hips towards him. “C’mon, really wanna taste you.”

With his help, you comfortably settled down with your knees next to Jungkook’s ears and your legs opened up so he could easily have access to your glistening cunt.

Still hovering in the air, you weren’t sure what to do, you couldn’t just sit on him, right? In all the years of having sex for money, you never once experienced this.

You felt his breath on your lips, warm and tickling. “God, you’re so fucking wet already. I missed this pussy so much,” he murmured senselessly, brushing a finger through your slit and making you jump. With more determination, he parted your lips and rubbed his thumb across your wetness, collecting your juices before he circled your clit. You moaned out breathlessly, sinking a bit down towards the pleasure, towards Jungkook’s face. 

“Don’t be shy, Princess. Sit on my face, I won’t die ‘cause of a little bit of pussy, huh?” He groaned when you followed, moving your hips downwards and scooting around to fit your lips onto his mouth. His nose was brushing against the hood of your clit and you gasped, moving forward but his hands reached up to hold your cheeks. You moaned at the subtle display of dominance, the way he was controlling you when he used his hold on you to move your hips against him. At the same time, he moved up to lick a long stripe across your cunt and sucked your clit into his mouth. Gently, he took the bundle of nerves between his teeth and graced them across, making you mewl and shudder.

You needed to hold onto something, desperately gripping the head of his bed before your hand slid down your body and buried itself into Jungkook’s hair. Tugging, you ripped a moan from his chest. The sound almost vibrated against you, losing the last control you had over your hips and completely pushing onto Jungkook’s face.

“Fuck,” he muttered into your folds, licking along your entrance and moving his face with his tongue pressed against you. One of his hands moved up your front, groping your breasts and twisting your nipples. Your senses were overwhelmed, moving against his tongue and holding his hand close to you. The hand in his hair kept tugging, gracing his scalp and the moans slipped out of you like you were in a trance.

“Jungkook, I can’t I- ah!” you interrupted yourself with a high pitched noise when he slapped your ass where he was holding you. The sudden movement made you press against him after you coiled forwards, he moaned from being soaked with pussy and his nose kept a delicious pressure on your clit. “I’m cumming, please don’t stop, I’m,” he nibbled on your clit and that was the last kick over the edge, you almost screamed and wantonly moaned out his name, folding into yourself when he continued to lap up your juices. 

“You’re so hot when you cum, fuck,” he groaned with a gravelly voice and kissed your clit, smacking your butt lightly again before he used both of his hands to help you be stable. He slid from beneath you and sat down on his knees, ready to let you sink into his frame. You were sweaty, breath heavy and eyes struggling to keep open, laying on his lap.

“I’ll never get enough of your fucking cunt,” he gritted, taking your jaw in between his fingers and opening your mouth with them. If you were more concentrated on him than on calming your breathing, you would’ve clearly noticed his tongue swirling around his mouth before he pursed his lips, bowing down closer to you and spitting onto your tongue. Realizing it, you moaned before you looked into his eyes and obviously swallowed the glob of spit down, tasting a sheen of yourself in it. “Such a good slut, moaning so loud when she gets her tiny pussy eaten, hm?”

His words made your head spin, eyes rolling for a second before he manhandled you towards the pillow again, face down and legs opened. “Stay here, I’ll clean you up.” He whispered, his voice back to the familiar, soft melody.

When he came back with a warm, wet rag, he wiped your thighs up and carefully over your lips, making sure the cum wasn’t going to flake on your skin. Jungkook brought the rag back into his bathroom before he removed his pants and shirt, climbing back into the bed. 

“C’mere, Princess,” he pulled you close to his chest and put one arm underneath your neck. Leaning over you, he removed your hair from your face and stroked over it, smiling at your flatted out form. He kissed your temple and got comfortable behind you, holding your body close and feeling warm.

“Jungkook,” you whispered into the sudden dark room, not remembering it to be this dark when he walked through the door. He hummed in recognition, breathing out a sigh into your nape, ready to knock out. “I feel like I could be in love with you.”

He grunted, raising his head to look into your face. “Then let me work towards that,” he smiled, dropping an overly loud kiss onto your cheek. With a chuckle, he laid back and whispered, “you don’t need to be afraid of love. It can be a good thing.” 

It felt like he didn’t only say that to you, but also for himself. With a smile on your lips, you turned around to face his chest, putting your head onto his pecks.

Falling asleep next to him, you knew you were, where you were supposed to be.

The next morning you not only woke up to the delicious smell of pancakes but also to the loud sound system in the living room. Jungkook was playing a shooter game, yelling profanities once in a while and monotonously announcing his position on the map.

Not thinking much of it, he was a gamer after all, you slid into a sweater of his and tapped with bare feet towards the noise. First, you saw the strawberry pancakes sitting on the kitchen counter, visibly still warm. After that, you looked at Jungkook, or more like his chair. The big backrest covered his frame almost completely and you only saw his arms that were reaching towards the keyboard and mouse.

Still full of sleep, you walked towards the food. Jungkook wouldn’t be able to give you attention anyway, so food was clearly the bigger priority. After munching on one, Jungkook removed his headset and turned towards you, a grin on his face. “Slept well?” You nodded, stuffing your cheeks with more of the delicious breakfast.

Jungkook chuckled and turned back around, putting his headset on and being sucked into the game again. Mischievously, you walked around the kitchen and towards Jungkook, moving his arm from his mouse and slipping underneath to sit on his lap. “Baby, this is live-” he gasped, his eyes wide.

“Oh,” you pondered, “hello!” With a wave, you grinned into the web camera and looked down onto the screen, seeing the small window in the corner where you and Jungkook were visible. He broke into a short laugh, teeth on show and took his hands off of the keys to reposition you. Pulling up the chat of his stream, you could barely read what was commented, people spamming multiple messages in only short moments.

Jungkook’s game didn’t seem to be of interest anymore, considering how he hadn’t removed his hand off of your stomach to hold you. “What are they saying?” You curiously asked and tried to read the messages. Jungkook scrolled up in the chat to let you read a few comments and you grinned. “They all wanna know who I am.”

While you giggled because of how Jungkook rolled his eyes, he concentrated back on his game, with you on his lap this time. Absentmindedly, he muttered, “I guess you could say that she’s my gamer girlfriend.”

You looked to the side and took in his profile with wide eyes. “Heart eyes, or something,” he added, the viewers only being able to hear him because of the microphone that stood directly in front of you on the desk. The rest of the game Jungkook’s subscribers calmed a bit down from your guest appearance and enjoyed how you watched him play and started to feed him a pancake after some time passed.

Once the stream ended, with both of you waving towards the camera and Jungkook disconnecting the live broadcast, you turned towards him. He removed his headset again and lifted you, making you turn around and straddle him. “So,” you trailed. “Gamer girlfriend, huh?”

His eyes widened for a split second before he smirked. “Ah, well. I guess I said that, hm?” You smiled at his try hard, cocky expression and lifted your hands to his cheeks.

“I like the sound of that,” you whispered as you leaned in towards his face, holding eye contact.

“Yeah?” He asked, nudging your nose with his and keeping only a hair's width apart from your lips. “Guess it’s official then.”

With a chuckle, he pulled you closer to his chest and closed the distance, kissing you. He bit into your bottom lip before he licked over it, holding it between his own and moving your head to the other side, deepening the kiss.

“Then let’s play a round? You know, for the title,” you suggested, pulling away and wiggling your brows. Laughing breathily, he nodded. With an applause, you jumped from his lap and threw yourself onto the couch, waiting for Jungkook to get the controllers and starting a game for you two.

Only a few days after, Jungkook asked you to move in with him, officially. He led with the obvious argument, that you just got out of living with your ex and that moving in with Jungkook would be so fast. But he also pointed out how he was willing to help you find a job and a place to stay would definitely lift one of your worries. He insisted that you were free to leave his place whenever you wanted, just as you were free to come back anytime.

He gave you a key, shy smile on his face and his cheeks reddened a little bit. So of course you agreed. He was right when he said that you should accept the offer without thinking about the future of their relationship. In a regular time schedule, moving in together would be much after the first year.

It should be considered that your relationship wasn’t regular at all. Staying would hurt and once you found a job as a waitress in a bar Jungkook’s best friend worked at, you stopped feeling bad about constantly being at home.

Finally you were able to actually contribute to living with someone in a healthy relationship and you were overly excited for every day of coming home to Jungkook.

At home he was more of a roommate than anything, with the occasional kisses sneaked in between video game wars.

“No! Jungkook you’re going to kill me again!” You screeched, moving the joystick on your controller aggressively to make your character run away from Jungkook’s.

“Noo don’t die, you’re so sexy aha,” Jungkook quoted, pushing his shoulder into your frame to distract you. With success, the move got him the opportunity to attack your character and end the game with a win for him.

You pouted, slumping into the couch. With a pout equally deep, Jungkook turned around and cooed at your pitiful state. “I’m sorry, Baby. Let me make it up to you.”

“You said you were with me in this! Not fair! How do you play like this with your girlfriend? A little love here, sir!!”

Your tantrum made him giggle and he leaned over you. “This isn’t a love game, Baby. Winner’s losers.” 

The pout was glued onto your face from this point forward and Jungkook wasn’t able to shake it until he made a peace offering. “Let me win your heart back, Angel. I’ll let you win every round until you bully me for being a loser.”

Springing up with a gleaming face, you took the controller back into your hands. “Deal!”

© 2020 @jiminsfault. All rights reserved.

[sylvies-chen]

Director's cut for the insanely adorable Brettsey fic 'Sofia'

Imagining a little girl that's half Sylvie and half Matt just makes me melt

Aww yes! That whole fic was based off of this little trend on tik tok of a guy singing along to Sofia by Clairo and people would say that if you closed your eyes it sounded like your fav character singing it. So of course when I pictured Matt singing it I was like “ok yes, this needs to be written”. A little Brettsey girl was just too irresistible to write!! Also I was thinking of cute pet names and landed on them calling her “little duckling” because baby ducks have those tufts of yellow hair sticking out similar to how I imagine a Brettsey baby would look like as a newborn with tiny blonde hairs 🥺 It’s also worth mentioning that Robert Munsch is an iconic children’s author so when I remembered he had a book with a firefighter on the cover— one that a little kid would probably say looked a little like Matt— I knew I had to add that in somehow!

For reference, the firefighter is the farthesr one on the left in both pictures:

Send me an ask for a director’s cut commentary on any one of my fics!

[demi-shoggoth]

COVID-19 Reading Log, pt 18

Man, this past month has been a heck of a year, hasn’t it? I’ve still been reading books, but my pace has ebbed and flowed, and I forgot to update this for a while. So here’s my thoughts on ten of the most recent books I’ve read.

91. The League of Regrettable Sidekicks by Jon Morris. I had no idea this book existed until I was doing image searches for this project for the other “League of Regrettable X” books. This one covers the sidekicks, minions and goons of comic history. Unlike the other books by Jon Morris, the spread is more even of Gold/Silver/other ages of comic books. After all, the 70s is when Jaxxon the green rabbit appeared in Star Wars, and the 80s had a shape-shifting penguin named Frobisher in the Doctor Who comics. It also feels like it’s a little looser about what makes a character “regrettable”. Some of the sidekicks in its pages, like Woozy Winks and Volstagg the Voluminous, are legit great characters.

92. Encyclopedia of Things That Never Were by Michael Page and Robert Ingpen. I wanted to like this book; I really did. For one thing, it was recommended to me by @listmaker-lastcity​, who I was working with on commissions. For another thing, it was fairly pricy used. Thirdly, to its merit, it is gorgeous. Michael Page, the illustrator, is credited first, and rightly so. But for an “encyclopedia”, it makes up a lot of stuff. It opens with a disclaimer that “the creators of this book have… unlocked their own fantasies”, which means that it invents Arthuriana and Greek myths wholeheartedly. Several of the entries do not exist outside this book, and others are so distorted that their actual folkloric origins have been clouded and obscured by people using this as a source. For material I’m not familiar with the primary sources of, like Gulliver’s Travels, I have no idea if it’s reflecting the source material accurately, or making things up whole cloth. As a fantasy, it’s intermittently fun; some rather nasty misogyny does sneak in and the book is wildly anti-science. As a reference work, it’s useless to the point of actively harmful.

93. Solutions and Other Problems by Allie Brosh. I was a huge fan of the “Hyperbole and a Half” blog back in the day, and knowing Allie Brosh’s history of mental health problems, I was worried when she seemingly dropped off the face of the earth. Her release of a second book was a pleasant surprise, but also showed that some worry was appropriate. This collection of essays, cartoons and heavily-cartooned essays is sadder than the first collection, as it was written during and after a series of family tragedies. It is still very funny in parts, however, and has an overall message of self-care and love that turned out to be extra relevant in the nightmare year that is 2020. It’s the only book for this project that I read in a single sitting. Highly recommended.

94. Mozart’s Starling by Lyanda Lynn Haupt. This book is half memoir, half biography. The composer Mozart owned a starling during some of his most productive years as a composer, and even wrote an elegy to it when it died. The author used this as a launching point to adopt her own starling, and to examine how this invasive species is seen in American birding culture. The writing is humanistic and charming, and very self-aware (the author worries that her starling is going to die, because that’s what always happens in “this animal changed my life” books). The message is one of respecting all other creatures and of valuing the lives of animals, which is not much of a surprise from the author’s other books (I covered The Urban Bestiary earlier in this project.

95. The Butchering Art: Joseph Lister’s Quest to Transform the Grisly World of Victorian Medicine by Lindsey Fitzharris. The subtitle says it all; this is a biography of Joseph Lister, focusing on his research into antisepsis and promotion of sterile technique in surgery. It takes ample digressions to talk about other major surgeons of the time, the state of hygiene and disease theory in Victorian England, France and the United States, as well as things like labor conditions and women’s rights. These bits and pieces are woven in successfully, so they feel like appropriate context setting. Fitzharris is empathetic despite the often grisly subject matter, but readers with a sensitive stomach and a low tolerance for gore might want to skip this one.

96. Twice the Thrills! Twice the Chills! by Bryan Senn. This is a big book, 400 pages in full sized paper. It is an overview of the horror/SF double feature, covering every movie released initially in that format between 1955 and 1974 in the United States. As such, it reviews more than 200 movies, with behind-the-scenes anecdotes, critical opinion and box office, and general coverage of trends and themes in genre cinema at the time. I enjoyed this book greatly, especially since it covered some movies I’d never even heard of. The timing is perfect, too, as I read this book just before @screamscenepodcast​ covered the first entries in it, Revenge of the Creature/Cult of the Cobra. My one complaint is that the author seems biased against Japanese films. He discredits the special effects and monster suits in kaiju movies compared to even movies like Attack of the Giant Leeches and The Killer Shrews, and complains about acting and scripts in Japanese films much more than he does for other dubbed films. He also consistently refers to Ishiro Honda as “Inoshiro Honda”, which is how his name was misspelled in the 60s. That level of disrespect for some of my favorite genre pictures is a constant low-level irritation in what is otherwise a fine resource.

97. Cursed Objects by J. W. Ocker. This is a fun catalog of objects said to be cursed, including the whys, supposed effects and current locations of these artifacts. The book is sorted into categories, like “cursed objects in museums”, “cursed furniture”, “technological cursed objects”. It takes a skeptical, folkloric look at the topic, being more interested in the stories than in any legit supernatural powers. It even talks about things that “should” be cursed because of their odd appearances or eerie provenances, but aren’t, like the Crystal Skull forgeries. The book is a pleasant and breezy read, and the author has a good sense of humor on the topic. He curses the book itself with an epigram against thieves, and buys a cursed dog statue on eBay that sat on his desk throughout the writing process.

98. Death in the Garden by Michael Brown. This book is wildly misnamed, being light on both the “garden” and the “death”. It’s supposedly a social history of poisonous plants, but is more interested in English herbals specifically. It refers to the authors by name extensively as if we should have all of these memorized, and the only place where the prose has any energy is in the biographical section for these herbalists. There’s very little information about the actual plants and their poisons. I would use the word “doddering” to describe the prose style, which is simultaneously rambling and boring. The photography is pretty, though.

99. Ripley’s Believe it Or Not! 1929-1930 by Robert Ripley. IDW puts out lovely volumes of vintage American comics, and this is no exception. Being a kid into weird facts and trivia, and an adult who is still into them, the Ripley franchise was a major part of my childhood. This is the first modern collection organized chronologically, covering the first two years the strip was in national syndication. The strips cover the typical Ripley mix of sports trivia, weird facts, word riddles and puzzles, misleading statements and the occasional outright lie. The book has a warning about the racial attitudes of the time, which is fair, but it’s not nearly as bad as I feared. Ripley’s habit of drawing from photographic references means that people in ethnic minorities look like real people. But the language is decidedly “of its time”, with slurs used to identify foreign ethnicities (particularly Asian ones). So be warned.

100. Unlucky Stiffs: New Tales of the Weirdly Departed by Cynthia Ceilan. I’m ordering material to pick up from my local library again, which is great! This book was actually recommended by the library website based on the morbid slant of some of the other books I was putting on hold. Unfortunately, this book sucks. It’s pitched as a “weird deaths” book, something like a more literary version of the Darwin Awards. But the deaths are often not all that bizarre, instead being typically sad accidents or murders. It just comes off as mean spirited and misanthropic. Not recommended.

[lorei-writes]

How To: Comments

A brief guide to commenting under the fics by Lorei.

As some of you may know, I am a court overthinker. I know that human interactions can be scary - and honestly, sometimes so is commenting. However... I wish that anxiety did not stand in way of interactions between readers and the author. So, to cut this introduction short: from me, an anxious writer-overthinker, to you, any person who may need it.

Contents:

Few general truths.

Do’s.

Don’ts. 

All things I will talk about stem from my personal experience and observations. It may vary to some extent between writers, although I did my best to stick to the general trends and to mark where something is more of my personal opinion.

EDIT: As per usual, this is just the general “this will be most likely okay”. If you are doing things differently and it works out for you - great! No need to change that. This was written with people who may be anxious and/or overthinking the matter in particular. I also tried to remove myself from this as much as possible.

Few general truths.

Does my comment even matter?

Yes, it does, especially for longer series. It may be one of the few things pulling the writer through a crisis. 

Your comment notifies the writer that they are indeed seen, that their words reached somebody. If the story resonated with you in any way, letting the writer know that it did may boost their self-confidence, and perhaps even motivate them to keep on writing. 

The writer didn’t reply to my comment. Did I do something wrong?

No! In plenty cases, the writer may not know how to reply, simply as that. They may not have enough time, they may be too tired - just the ordinary, mundane life stuff can cause such a thing too. 

An important thing to remember here is that they still appreciate it, even if they don’t have enough resources to reply to every single person - or even any of them.

How do I know the writer even welcomes comments?

Unless it is specified they do not want comments (or a certain type of comments), assume those are always welcome. 

Do’s

Good will and courage is one thing, but... What could a comment even include?What things are appropriate? Ahhh, no, this is too hard...!

*catches your hand and pulls you back* No, no, no, don’t run, I’ve got you covered! 

First, remember that it is way more likely that what you want to say is okay than for it to be inappropriate. Worst case scenario, the writer will tell you that well, you missed the mark - but! Then you will have the knowledge on what to avoid doing. Your potential to cause plenty good is still way greater than that to cause harm. Not only that! You can apologize! We are humans. We all make errors. Never doing a thing in fear of messing up never leads anywhere. 

So, what things are generally okay*?

If the story made you feel something, say so! For example:  “This made me feel happy!” “I smiled too much because of this story!” “I’m crying, nooo.” “This is so sad!” “My heart has melted.” “This made my day!” “I love it!”

If you can’t find words for your state, emojis work too!  For example:   😭 ❤️ ❤️ 😳 💖 🥺 🥺 🥺 😍 💯✨

Of course, mixing up emojis with text is a great idea! The only thing you may want to be mindful of is that screen-readers do interpret emojis too - so you perhaps want to avoid emoji-[word]-emoji combinations (which overall, applies to the internet in general, btw). 

The story made you think about something? Elaborate! The tricky part here is that yes, you are sharing your thoughts, but you should also tell the writer something nice about their work. The rule of thumb seems to be that it is the story that is in the spotlight, not your experience - or, in other words, you are speaking of the experience in relation to the work, not the work in relation to the experience. For example: “I love your OC, they are so relatable! I don’t think I have ever seen a character which spoke to me so much. I struggle with XYZ too, so I’m feeling for them, I know it’s hard :(” “AAAAAA. The theme of red string reminds me a little of a certain superstition. Some people here think red bows are a good-luck charms. This is wonderful, I love it. 😭💖”

Now, this may seem a little self-centered. Allow me to explain why I insist the story is kept in the spotlight.  Imagine that you’ve spent your time on writing a story, however much of it. Let’s assume it’s about missing a long-deceased pet. Then, you get this comment:

“Nooo, this is so sad, I used to have a dog like that too 😭 His name was Teddy and we were best friends. We’d oftentimes sit together and sometimes I’d throw him a stick. Whenever I would cry, he’d come snuggle up with me, and he wouldn’t leave me until HOURS after I’ve calmed down. I miss him so much, I wish dogs could live forever 😭 “

Now, this makes the situation uncomfortable. You must remember that well, sometimes you may still be almost complete strangers to one another, and this much information puts a great emotional load on the writer. Is it still the writer’s space after such comment, or...? Yeah. It is a bit of a lapse in regards to well, knowing a person.

You are simply thankful and don’t know what to say? Express gratitude!  For example: “Thanks for writing <3 “ “I really needed to read this story.” “Thank you!”

Other things which generally are okay to include:

key smashes (as part of the comment, so that the author knows what you mean) For example:  “I’m wheezing ghesgeskgess” “ghoeigjeshes THANK YOU”

quoting the part of the work you especially liked + adding emoji at the end/commenting something under it

listing the things you enjoyed about the work

Of course, you can do some of those, you can do all of those, you can do just one - whichever suits you!

Don’ts

Okay, we know what is going to be fine. Now, what things to avoid? 

Do not give critique unless the writer clearly asked for it.

Critique must be consensual. Unsolicited advice is not. Sure, your intention may be good, but it leads to backhanded compliments and nobody likes those.

Example of what not to do:

“I enjoyed it, tho it was rater boring at first and it took me several tries to even get to the half of it.  Like, some things were confusing? [Explanation].  Overall, yeah, hard to understand and boring at first, but I liked it.”

Now you may ask - is the writer exempt from feedback?! And the answer is... Yes, honestly, yes. Unless they ask for it, yes. As long as they don’t hurt anybody - yes. Although then I suggest blocking instead of going on a crusade. 

FanFiction isn’t the same as published books. We don’t get paid for it. It is simply an act of sharing what you enjoy with the world, like a sort of perpetuum-mobile. FanFiction propels the reader, the reader comments and thus puts the writer in motion.

Now, you can say that something made you sad. You can say that something made you angry, or that it wasn’t what you were expecting. BUT. Make sure you aren’t demanding the writer changes those things. 

This stretches also to typos, grammar errors, etc. - unless you are absolutely sure the writer asks for this sort of feedback, assume it is unwelcome.

Also, from my personal experience: it happened to me once. I did not know what to reply and went on with my standard apologetic... Ekhem. I regret it. The person who commented knew less about the issue than I did.

EDIT: There is also another reason for this - most often, if a person wants to get feedback, they look for a beta-reader. Beta-reader is a person who reads the work before it is posted. Generally, they point out errors and inaccuracies. However, for it to work well, you need a certain sort of fit, both in how the message is delivered (some people do well with harsher criticism, some need to be more gentle with them), in the writing style, and so on. Another thing when looking for a beta-reader is that, well, you generally look for a person that knows more than you do, or is at a similar level. This isn’t to say that we know more than every single person out there - only that it’s hard to ascertain it at first glance and it’s generally better to talk about it before any critique is delivered. Communication is the key.

Do not ask when the next part will be posted/when your request will be completed unless you are sure the writer is okay with such questions. 

When this happens, many writers feel as if they were being pressured into working harder.

Do not write fleshed out paragraphs of what you think should have happened.

If you have an idea for a story - write it. Again, we write in our free time and do it for fun. This feels like being pressured or told what to do.

What may be more grey in regards to whether it is okay or not is theorising about what happens next. To me, personally, that would be okay, but you may want to ask your writer whether they are okay with this sort of things - for example, by writing a comment with a short theory and then asking whether it’s okay to do so? However, be mindful not to tap into suggesting or putting too much pressure on what must happen.

Do not write “Imagine that... [fleshed out scenario]” type comments.

Those are basically requests hidden as comments.

Do not compare writers to other writers (You are so much better than XYZ/ You wrote trope X so much better than XYZ).

This is pretty self-explanatory. We want to lift each other up, not feel better about ourselves because of putting others down.

Another slippery situation here: some people may mind being compared to published authors. Some may not. It is hard to tell, there is no strict rule here.

Hmm... I think it’s about it? ^^” I hope it was helpful ^^” Overall, if you avoid those major Don’ts, you should be good ^^”

[uwua3]

Um hi! I was wondering if I could get headcanons on kazunari spending time with an old friend after being separated for a long time? Thank you so much! 🌸

of course! i’m sososo happy for this request :O it allowed me to get closure for a similar experience i’ve had, so this was healing ♡ thank you so much, i love you!!! (^з^)-☆

summary: sometimes, friends aren’t forever. nevertheless, friendship break ups were definitely more painful than romantic ones

warnings: angst, breakdowns, closure, crying, friendship break ups, hitting (jokingly), insecurities

author’s note: as seen in the title, this contains lots of social media (especially tik tok) references! please read this and understand, it’s okay to not be friends with someone anymore—not everyone is meant to be your bff, and that’s okay ! you’re okay ♡ (reminder: this is a platonic writing! no romantic feelings whatsoever)

word count: 5,267

music: electric love – børns

tik tok famous

🌻🎨 miyoshi kazunari

the kazunari you were best friends with was gone—instead, it was someone you didn’t recognize

you scrolled through the account tagged in an ad promoting a play in your area, the stranger familiar in a painful way. why you had clicked, you had no idea, but here you were: stalking your ex best friend’s instablam profile

it felt like high school again. laying in bed between four pitch black walls, with nothing but your phone illuminated by kazunari’s smiling face in a trending post. nights spent thinking about the artistic popular boy in your grade caught up to you even in university

swipe. another selfie of kazunari grinning with his friends. swipe. a group photo with his cast members, apparently. swipe. the same promotional poster for his company’s play that was just advertised to you not too long ago

you stared at the screen, mindlessly scrolling through each and every single post just to see his face again and again. there was no reason to, you hadn’t thought of him in years

but... why couldn’t you look away?

before you could end up years in advance of his perfectly structured feed, a notification appeared at the top of your screen

kazu-PIKO started a live video! watch it before it ends!

your finger hovered over the rainbow circle now around kazunari’s icon, hesitating due to the countless worries in your head. what if he remembered who you were? though, with a followers count like his, he was maybe too famous to even notice

when you decided to leave his life for good and ended the friendship before senior year, you never expected to find him again. you had moved on and treasured the good memories before everything became a mess, but now, all you wanted to do was see your best friend again

sighing, you decided it wasn’t worth it. there was no point bringing up the past, it was a process but it was time to keep letting go. you were about to exit his profile but you must’ve misclicked, because suddenly you were brought to kazunari’s slightly sweaty but energized grin on the screen

you could’ve left the live any time. pretended like none of this happened and you could never see kazunari again in your entire life

but... no, you stayed and settled back into your bed, watching the screen as kazunari talked on and on

he was wearing an elaborate costume you were sure he just finished performing in, his cast members bustling around him excitedly in what seemed like a dressing room. it must’ve been closing night, considering the bouquets of flowers all around them from adoring fans and more

“what’s up, what’s up~?” kazunari yelled out, a chorus of shushes in the background apparent even as he laughed. taking a quick gulp of water, kazunari said something to a person behind the camera with a wink and promise of hanging out post after–party. you followed the comments, all of them congratulating kazunari on his final show of the season

he was always the more popular, friendly, and extroverted one. of course he had a fanbase, he was meant to be in the spotlight. and, you... weren’t

“kazu here! wanted to see how everyone liked summer troupe’s newest play~ how’d i do? super good?” kazunari giggled, resting in a director’s chair as the mirror behind him reflected four other people trying their best to avoid the camera (wait... was that famous child actor tenma sumeragi—?!)

“you know... we’ve been thinking—” kazunari started, stopping with a loud protest when a towel hit his face. “stop thinking, you only get bad ideas.” a rough voice complained, the tone harsh but quickly turned into an accidental yelp when kazunari panned the camera to reveal a young green–haired boy who moved to the side to hide

laughing again, kazunari said something about how yukki–chan was too cute for his own good before continuing his statement, using the towel to wipe his forehead

“anyways~ isn’t it time for a mankai instablam?!” kazunari exclaimed, the chat matching his vibe by keyboard smashing to express their support. you wondered why that name rang a bell, but ultimately became distracted by kazunari’s effortless sunshine disposition

“frooch—” a quick side eye glance to his left with a nervous laugh, “sakyo–san! definitely meant that... i love you, sakyo~” a kiss was blown in the same direction and a defeated sigh of “kazunari...” was heard

“sakyo finally let us kids have some fun and get instablam for the theatre company! run by yours truly, but posted by everyone~ check it out!”

you noticed he dropped the username in the comments and when you looked back up, it felt like he was looking into your eyes again. you missed him, a lot

you followed the mankai profile, watching the count rise up as you got lost in the numbers. he wouldn’t notice, he couldn’t have, he would never

when the live ended, it felt like the room was suddenly too quiet. like you were missing your other half... you ignored it and went to bed, tired from social media

(hours later, kazunari let out a sigh of relief, closing the door to his dorm gently as his back slid against the surface. he hit the floor softly, his mood ruined once he pulled out his phone and scrolled through the recent followers again. he never thought he’d see you again, but here you were, following his company’s instagram)

(it had been a long time since he missed you like this. kazunari turned in from the party uncharacteristically early, just to stare at your profile. if only he could follow back)

you didn’t know when it became a habit, but the first thing you did when you woke up was check the mankai instablam. one thing led to another, and you’d find yourself continuining your day but with the casual obsession of seeing if it was kazunari who posted

over time, you learned the company members’ names just from the sheer content twenty (20) boys could produce. from following the profile to catching up on the blogs to every livestream in between, it was an understatement to say you were a fan

you never did follow kazunari’s personal blog, but he would always be your favorite. something about his acting and friendliness drew you in all over again, fighting to be the first to like his new update

sure, at first, you didn’t physically recognize him. he had dyed his hair now, a much more vibrant blonde with stylish and trendy fashion to make him stand out. his black hair and basic school uniform days were gone and only in your memories

but, throughout the years apart, he had remained the same. once a people pleaser, always a people pleaser, you suppose. you could never keep up with his intense energy and rambunctious vibes, he was a force on his own

mankai_company just posted a photo!

you subconsciously smiled when you saw kazunari posted again, this time a selfie instead of the usual group hang out photo. he seemed to be in a track suit inside the practice room, his reflection showing it was just misumi making a triangle with his hands behind the phone

(some part inside you wished you could’ve taken cute bonding pictures together with kazunari... but that time was gone now)

you were about to scroll through the rapid comments before you noticed the caption with the typical kazu stars and emoticons

“heya mankai fam~! ^_−☆ check out our newest tik tok account! @ mankai_company ~ see ya there!!! – kazuuu ✨”

you weren’t exactly shocked to see sakyo finally let the gen z kids of the ensemble finally get their hands on a shared tik tok account. switching to the other app, you followed and put on notifications like always

maybe it was following mankai that changed the algorithim, but suddenly your feed on tik tok was... different, to say the least

kazunari’s rising popularity wasn’t just from his theatre gig, but also his own individual account. of course he had his own content, you should’ve known

kazunari was becoming a well known tik toker who often posted anything under the sun. dance videos, funny pranks on his troupe members, and acting povs that were way too professional

you didn’t think anything of it until you had swiped through your “for you” page, liking anything that made you laugh and find momentary serotonin in the humor. as you were about to skip past one, you noticed the username

kaz-PIKO: like this and i’ll message them~ ☆

message who? you restarted the tik tok only to see kazunari was in his usual training outfit, the yellow and black tracksuit and gold headband as he sat in front of the practice room mirror with his phone recording his reflection

(you noticed it matched the outfit in his instablam post that advertised the mankai tik tok account a week ago)

reading the text that occassionally came in on screen, you held your breath as you made the connections

kazunari pointed to a corner where the colored text appeared: “i have this best friend i lost contact with...” next, a cut to black when he covered the camera with his hand. then, a quick transition of all the photos you had ever taken with him with your face covered with a sticker

(you didn’t think he’d keep them in his phone after what had happened)

“i miss them, they were everything to me.”

(he was everything to you before, too)

“i noticed they followed me recently, should i dm them?” the video cut back to kazunari who shrugged and it ended there

you released a deep breath, pausing your daily afternoon scroll to fully comprehend the situation

of course kazunari noticed. he was too perceptive for his own good, he could never forget a face, or username, for the life of him

but was this... a sign? a call out from the universe to have closure from such a long friendship that defined your youth?

you didn’t bother opening the comments, you didn’t need anything convincing you otherwise. you moved on, ignoring kazunari’s latest tik tok even though it stayed on your mind all day. you couldn’t think of anything else

never in a million years did you expect to find yourself back as your high school self, hopelessly wishing you could be worthy of your childhood best friend. this time, you were just a little bit older

kazunari took his ten minute break after helping summer troupe with moving stage props, sighing as he refreshed his tik tok account again. the views kept going up, yet, no like from your account

all he needed was a like from you, some signal you were ready to talk again, and he’d message you right away

but until then, kazunari pocketed his phone and distracted himself with a loud cheer for the snacks director brought to the stage. he would have to patiently wait for you to see

another few days pass before kazunari is doing the same exact thing as you—scrolling through tik tok and sending them to active groupchats and other friends

then, it happened

going viral online wasn’t anything new, but not to this level

thousands of comments made kazunari’s phone ping like crazy, everyone insisting on knowing who the person was in his latest tik tok. it seemed like the algorithim grabbed his video and sent it to every person’s fyp, because suddenly all the spotlight was on him to go send a message

at first, kazunari was overjoyed with this new level of attention. how cool! that just meant more instablam likes~ he hoped his art posts would receive the same recognition, so he scrolled through his comments only to see the most liked comment

wait, isn’t this [insert your @] from high school?

oh my god

your phone was going off consistently, the tik tok notification soind buzzing on your bed. you sleepily woke up from a short nap to hundreds of people mentioning you. oh no... what had you done now?

you opened the tag. it was the same kazunari tik tok you made a point to avoid before. but now, it came back, louder than ever

kazunari was generally tik tik popular, but not this famous! you checked the comments and noticed your friend had started this chain of tagging. of course they did, you rolled over to try your best and muffle your scream in your pillow

if you didn’t like his post now... there would be no more chances to ever speak to him again

lifting your head to stare at the screen in front of you, you had never thrown your phone at the end of your bed so fast after double tapping

(kazunari almost missed it, but when your username flashed across the top of his screen, he simply switched apps to go into his finsta to scream)

(whoiskazu: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH THEY LIKED MY TIK TOK I HAVE TO DM THEM WHAT DO I SAY JSJFJSJCJD HELP?!?!@!:!,!,’&@:@;’???)

(nottenma: please be a normal human ,,,)

(princemukkun: you got this, kazu! i support you!)

(misankaku: 🔺🔺🔺 say that)

(yukiruri: SHUT UP I CAN HEAR YOU FROM ACROSS THE DORMS)

(whoiskazu: no ❤️)

after lots of encouragement from the only two summer troupe members who supported him, misumi & muku, kazunari calmed down to stare at the open chat log. all he had to do was say something, anything, and things would go from there

but sometimes, a picture spoke a thousand words

ping! kaz–PIKO followed you!

kaz–PIKO sent you a message:

when you opened the dm after pacing nervously in your room for a good minute or so, you subconsciously let out a sigh of relief and couldn’t help but laugh

of course, only kazunari would send you a meme of a bunch of pink hearts

it was like time never passed between you two. one meme led to another anecdote of gen z humor and before you knew it, it was like you guys were friends again

things were always easier over text, however, so when kazunari suggested you both meet up, you stopped typing and reread the text over again

kaz–PIKO: i’d love to hang out with you!!! ☆ when are you free~? :D

your anxieties were relieved for a moment once he double–texted a cute pleading sticker. it was so like him that you actually considered seeing him even if it had been years since the last time you both parted ways

it was too late to back out now, you both knew you missed each other and were better people now. university maturity was just a simply different time and place in a teen’s life compared to figuring everything out in high school

on the other side of the screen, kazunari couldn’t help but feel a little nervous on what he said. he was always too forward in wanting to interact with people, but maybe this was pushing it

he didn’t exactly forget you were the one who ended the friendship. but, so much time had passed it was better left unsaid. he forgave you a long time ago; you both had emotionally become new people with healthier habits and more refined personalities. what was there to hold a grudge about? (or at least, so he thought)

kazunari was just worried you didn’t feel the same way and he was opening an opportunity for you to hurt him again

“this is so not cool!” kazunari huffed, having a pillow thrown at his head after he stumbled back. it felt like deja vu, why was he always the victim of yuki’s aim?!

“yo, friendly mcextrovert, you forget we actually have work?” yuki rudely reminded him, but had a hint of concern in his narrowed eyes. the two creative geniuses of mankai were huddled around kazunari’s laptop to finish designing the posters. obviously, with fashion extroidinaire yuki’s input on color (yet, kazunari was most definitely focused on other things besides digital editing)

“ah, sorry~” kazunari weakly laughed, the look in his eyes not quite right. yuki hummed, unconvinced, before turning back to the screen with spare glances at kazunari’s slouched frame. the two of them continued to work in uncomfortable silence before yuki sighed, pushing the laptop further away while rubbing his forehead

“ok, ok, i give in. what’s got you so down?”

kazunari raised his eyebrows in surprise before quickly putting on his usual front, grinning as he flashed a cute peace sign. “nothing~ you’re seeing things, yukki–chan!”

yuki smacked his hand down with a very obvious eye roll, ignoring kazunari’s dramatic complaints about his unnecessary use of force (“ow! so not nice, yukki–chan!” “can you shut up for one second?!” “no, i cannot~”)

“i’m seeing you’re stressing about something and it’s interfering with our work. so, spill.” yuki pretended like the facade was all for work, but when he completely turned his body so he was facing kazunari, closing the laptop in the process and making sure there were no distractions in the process, kazunari genuinely smiled

“awww, is yukki–chan worried about his bff~? you love me—” “i’ll end you right here and now if you don’t start talking.”

silence, then the realization, oh, he wasn’t joking. so, kazunari rubbed the back of his neck with an awkward attempt at a laugh as he glazed over the details of his latest problem. yuki listened attentively, not making a single sound as he decided to rest his hands in his lap

“okay.” yuki finally said and kazunari did a double take. “okay?” kazunari almost couldn’t believe it. it literally took all his strength to be emotionally vulnerable for once, and this was the response? kazunari blinked before yuki patted his shoulder, though he moved exactly like a robot who never functioned around humans before

“how do you feel now?”

kazunari thought about it some more, reaching out for his sketchbook before yuki blocked his hand. “you know, you can’t keep distracting yourself from your feelings. it’s okay to be, not happy, all the time.”

kazunari stopped and slouched further into his frame, trying his best to avoid the effect of the call out. ouch, by the way

it’s not that big of a deal, kazunari thought as he fidgeted with the zipper of his jacket. the sound was very prominent in the quiet room now, but yuki patiently waited for an answer

“i’m... scared, i guess? people, people always leave me. i couldn’t be the right person for them last time, what if i’m not a good friend?” kazunari rambled for once, a weight getting lifted off his shoulders when he verbally expressed the number one fear haunting him. yuki nodded, clearly about to disagree before he sympathetically pulled kazunari into an one–armed hug. kazunari returned it, avoiding eye contact as he stared at paint stains on his shoes

“it’s okay to be your true self. mankai likes you for who you are, right? especially, summer. we’re friends.” yuki explained, and kazunari let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in. maybe that’s all he needed to hear, because he leaned his head on yuki’s with a desperate attempt to not cry all over his friend

“you can cry.”

and kazunari finally faced the pain and trauma that came with a best friend leaving, closing his eyes and trying to stifle his own cries. yuki didn’t say anything again, just rubbed kazunari’s back as consolation as kazunari hid his face away from sight

“i, i just wanted to know what i did wrong. why am i never good enough? why can’t anyone ever stay? why is it my fault?” kazunari sobbed, curling into himself as he failed to maintain his usual composure. yuki continued offering silent motivation, knowing all kazunari needed was someone who listened and understood

“i... i will never be better. i’ll never be someone’s first choice, my efforts will never be enough. i want to be worthy of love.” kazunari mumbled, settling down as he realized the severity of the situation. it was the first time he cried so honestly to someone, he was about to pull away before yuki looked into his eyes with a soft smile

“you are, very much so. you deserve validation, happiness, and anything in between. your past isn’t your fault, kazu. what someone did to you was out of your control, it’s not an indication of what you’re worth.”

kazunari nodded, finding comfort in the words since they came from yuki. yuki stood up after a while and offered his hand, to which kazunari accepted and mumbled an embarrassed apology for being so out of character. yuki just lightly punched his arm, a new understanding between them

“i like you for who you are, never change, kazunari.”

(a hour later, you got a notification kazunari posted a new tik tok. it was with mankai’s fashion designer, yuki, this time, who were both wearing cat ears. it must’ve been an old costume as they did a “fit check”. yuki never looked amused in kazunari’s videos, but he seemed closer to him this time around. you wondered why. at least, they were both happy)

(when you agreed to meet up, kazunari exhaled and dropped back into bed. holding the phone above his face, kazunari rapidly typed back an adorable sticker before throwing his phone aside)

(muku picked his head up from a manga, coming over to snuggle into kazunari’s side without another word. kazunari hugged him back, burying his face in muku’s chest with a smile. he loved his friends so much)

(ping! another tik tok, this time kazunari and muku were reenacting a manga scene from some popular series with the audio from the actual anime)

“are you okay?” tenma’s protective leadership qualities kicked in, moving to stand beside his troupe member with a concerned expression. kazunari nodded, but his hands were shaking in his jean pockets and he kept scuffing the heel of his shoes against the pavement

today was the day. you and kazunari were reuniting after an especially messy friendship break up. the last time he ever saw you was when you walked the stage at his high school graduation, now, here he was, craning his head to look for your familiar face

the rest of summer troupe came for moral support, because that’s just who they were. kazunari let yuki explain the predicament when they all found kazunari pacing the main living room earlier, and they were certain the power of friendship would save the day

(maybe, coming in with very exaggerated disguises were a bit too overboard, though. seriously? a group of four wearing tinted sunglasses and all black in the summer caught more attention than necessary)

nevertheless, you and kazunari agreed on a local café nearby. he wondered if you remembered you two frequented this joint all the time in high school, for everything from late night cram sessions to needing a pick me up for working hard on extracurricular activities. he hadn’t gone in a long, long time. everything reminded kazunari of you, causing him to order your usual impulsively without thinking if it—you, changed

sliding into a free table by the window, kazunari held up a small wave to the highly suspicious group at the opposite end of the café as they all finger–gunned back. really... anyone could recognize their unusual bright hair from a mile away

(tenma didn’t even change it, he had the iconic sumeragi orange on full display and attracted hushed whispers immediately)

kazunari perked his head up if the door bell rang but fell dejectedly whenever it wasn’t you. anxiously tapping his foot, kazunari fiddled with his stud earring as he barely drank his over the top coffee. it had too much sugar, maybe that’s why he’s so jumpy

checking his phone, kazunari frowned. you were a bit late... though, you always did that back then. relieved, kazunari thought, maybe you didn’t change that much

missing the bell by the entrance, kazunari was too busy scrolling through his feed before he felt a tap on his shoulder. assuming it was a barista, kazunari lifted his head with a bright smile before it morphed into an expression of shock

it was you

and, you were barely recognizable

it shouldn’t have hurted him as much as it did, but kazunari stood up and opened his arms with a big smile. “hey~! thanks for coming, missed ya!” was his voice too high? too excited? he always worried about those types of things around you, but he just realized that now

(he was so caught up in meeting you again, he missed the mutters of summer. they were looking you up and down, already getting a bad feeling as they devised a plan to get kazunari out whenever it seemed uncomfortable)

“hi, kazunari.” you said, awkwardly going in for a hug before settling across from him. kazunari sat back down and pushed a cup towards you, smiling to the point where his cheeks hurt

“you still like this, right?” kazunari laughed but he felt like there were no air in his lungs. a part of him accepted a long time ago he’d never see you again, so this felt like reopening old wounds he neglected to care for

“ahaha... no, not really. don’t worry, it’s still decent!” you fumbled on your words, taking a sip of the drink only to reveal a slight grimance. kazunari nodded, a flustered blush across his face as he swore within his head. you didn’t like that order anymore? you loved it back in high school...

“haha... cool...” kazunari trailed off and it was uncomfortably silent despite the lively atmostphere of the popular café. it had definitely become busier since both your high school days, that’s for sure. maybe, that was a blessing and curse at the same time

tenma was about to stand up and pull kazunari aside, acting like it was an emergency, before misumi grabbed him with surprising strength. about to retaliate, tenma just fell silent when muku shook his head with a pointed look towards your table

kazunari swirled the metal straw in his order, watching the movement of the foam with unnatural quietness. it bothered him, not being able to talk comfortably as an extrovert, so he started speaking when he noticed you wouldn’t start the conversation

“so... how have you been?”

“good, good. you?”

“great! thanks for asking.”

“yeah...”

silence, again. this was becoming unbearable. kazunari sharply exhaled through his nose before pushing aside his drink, sitting up to cross his arms on the table with a serious look

“talk to me. we haven’t seen each other in years, but we are—were best friends. what’s up?” kazunari stated, hurriedly correcting himself when he caught your wide eyes. you seemed to contemplate it for a moment before agreeing, mimicking his posture with new confidence

“it’s... strange, seeing you again. i feel like i barely know who you are now.” you explained slowly and kazunari nodded, also feeling the same way as he rested his cheek against his palm. this was going to be a hard, but long overdue, conversation

who knows? maybe, it’d heal that dramatic part of your coming of age childhoods that you both needed

“same. so much has changed ever since we, you know.” kazunari replied and it was about to be awkward again before you responded, scratching your head with a distant look

“yeah... i’m sorry, for leaving you.”

“why did you?”

kazunari’s words were automatic, coming from a part of him that always wondered this when things got rough. when it was too quiet at night and he laid awake staring at his bedroom ceiling, he questioned why he wasn’t the best friend you wanted. or, when he drove by your old school, he often thought why weren’t all the good memories enough to make you stay?

whoever said friendship break ups were more painful than romantic ones, was right

(being abandoned by someone who knew him more than kazunari knew himself was... a turning point in his life)

you reeled back from the surprise, spluttering as you tried to form a coherent sentence. kazunari passed you a napkin, to which you took gratefully. it was supposed to be natural, everyone said that, but this conversation took effort to maintain

“you’re right, i owe you an explanation.” you mumbled, the question catching you off guard. kazunari waited, like he always did, before you continued, your voice clear despite the busy ambience. all noise faded into the background as kazunari listened to the words he wished high school him could’ve heard before

“we... we just were in different parts of our life. you are, to this day, the life of the party. the bold, loud, energetic student who’s outgoing, charismatic, and always saying something. i’m... not.”

(when kazunari was about to interrupt, you held up your hand and he sat back, realizing yeah—he did like talking way too much)

“it was hard... being known as ‘kazunari’s best friend’ and nothing more. you’re bigger than life, kazunari, i’m not like that. and, that’s okay, at least for me.”

“i just... i had to be my own person. spread my wings, be independent, you know? you didn’t hold me back, but i needed time to be myself and stand alone.”

you looked relieved, like this was something you held back for years. kazunari was floored, he honestly didn’t expect this. he truly wasn’t aware you felt overshadowed since he took all the attention away from you. a deep sense of shame washed over kazunari when he realized how lonely it must’ve felt

“when you left, i questioned everything. whether the friendship was real or not... or what i did wrong. i wish you told me before, but i, i understand.” kazunari forced out and it wasn’t a lie. he did understand, the fear of being forgotten and mislabeled. your reasoning was completely valid, it was for self growth and confidence (something he still needed to work on)

“i’m sorry for doing that to you. i never intended to, but i know impact matters most. i’m sorry you felt overshadowed, you were always my number one.” kazunari said and you reached over to take his hand, albeit awkwardly. it was comforting as you smiled with tears in your eyes

“i know, you were my first choice, too. i’m glad i was your best friend, i miss you and i love you so much.”

“i miss and love you, too, bff.”

(it was something both of you needed to hear, and the childhood versions of yourselves felt like they could move on. this, this was closure)

when you two catched up on university and everything else, kazunari pulled out his phone (which he hadn’t checked in hours after texting summer to go back to the dorms). holding it up in the air with a mischevious wink, you and kazunari both knew where this was going

“wanna make a tik tok?”

kaz–PIKO: always friends ♡

(it was labeled as a part two to his original post about missing his best friend. you and kazunari pretended to do the ‘electric love kissing’ challenge, before the audio cut to ‘sike!’. kazunari ran over to his phone to end the video, both your laughing faces in the last frame)

(it blew up, again. as expected of popular tik tok king kazunari)

regardless of the comments and likes, kazunari was right—you two would always be friends. it didn’t have to be more than that, this was for the best, and that’s okay

[jonathanrook]

legally i have to give you intern 2

em you have awoken an ungodly beast inside me so i need to warn everyone that this post is. incomprehensible. but so is mymusic so i guess we're all used to it.

How I feel about this character:

i watched mymusic as it was airing/running/coming out specifically bc i'm a jack stannie, and as a kid melvin was my second favorite character (w scene being in first, obvs) for mostly that reason. he basically hovered around this ranking until my most recent rewatch in the summer of 2020, which was actually spurred by some events in my personal life that vaguely reminded me of scene's season two arc w jeff, and i thought it'd been a funny/nostalgic way to get my mind off things.

(i want to side note here that -- i know you didn't ask, but -- i love jeff. i have since i was a kid. like, obviously not as a person but i think he's honestly the best written character in the series, w indie close in second. idk what it says about the f*nes that their most interesting and well rounded characters are the villains, but i digress. to this day i'm salty that jeff never got added to the theme song and wasn't really included in promotional merch.)

however, in said rewatch, certain things about how he was written started to really get under my skin, and certain moments in particular have really stuck out to me in a negative way. like, for the entirety of season one and a good chunk of season two he's one person, and then he leaves mymusic and we have an entirely different person, but not in a nuanced character building sort of way.

i've said a few of these points before but i'll repeat them here regardless. at the risk of sounding like i've put on a tin-foil hat, it's my sneaking suspicion that scindie was supposed to be endgame, but since fan reception to it was pretty neutral, and scenechart stans were, at the very least, more vocal, changes were made to the intended finale, which is why in the last scene he's basically just. indie. like, if everything about the show was exactly the same but indie was the one who had ended up w scene in the end that would have made so much more sense since a) scene had a crush on indie that he/everyone knew about and b) indie was kind of a dick despite the half-assed attempts at redemption, so both combined make it slightly less weird/out-of-nowhere that he kisses her w/o her consent (since, even though like. implied consent is not real at worst and a fuzzy subject at best but you could argue that scene would want indie to kiss her); and this isn't even taking into consideration that c) melvin is heavily queer-coded in both seasons, with his friendship with nerdcore being, dare i say, homoerotic at times, and his arc about leaving the company and changing his name mirroring nerdcore's almost perfectly (with nerdcore being a character who b*nny [at least] has all but confirmed is actually gay).

i've also been on the fence about melvin's behavior in that final scene making more sense for indie's character being an intentional decision as a way of shoe-horning in a theme about the lasting effects of abuse/cycles of abuse/the corruption of power but i also don't think the f*nes are smart enough for that. however, for the sake of defending my straw theory, i also point to the scene where indie comes to visit the acid factory after melvin told him to shut up, and we see melvin use reggie as a foot-stool, going as far as to say that it feels good to do so (which, in all honesty, i think is a bit that was entirely improvised, since the f*nes were "notorious for never saying cut" [paraphrased from a bts video], but work w me here). he's also given a seltzer mug that perfectly resembles indie's kombucha mug. in these moment melvin is directly emulating the behavior of his previous abuser, purposefully or not, literal moments after being promoted to an equal position of authority, which was totally just included as a joke, but could also be argued is meant to show that he's becoming indie; or, if we acknowledge that the f*nes have no fucking clue what they're doing and were just directing like chickens with their heads cut off, it at least shows that melvin's new position of power is leading him to understand where indie was coming from, which is supported by their conversation in the finale.

the following contains a couple brief mentions of irl sexual assault so if that's something you'd like to avoid skip to the next section!

HOWEVER, that alone isn't what i have a problem with, since i think melvin is completely justified in being a dick to indie (and also reggie enthusiastically consents to being used as an ottoman so good for him i guess). the issue comes completely in how he treats scene in the scenes where the f*nes clearly thought what they were writing was super romantic. like, the fact that the only thing he's got hung on his cubicle wall is a single picture of scene taken from the fucking opening credits (like. how hard would it have been to have. literally any other photo[s] esp since there's an abundance of cute bts pics of the cast in costume that could have been put there) and him scrolling through her twitter at work really creep me out (and at the risk of oversharing the weird, like, social media stalking angle really fucks w me bc that may or may not have been the exact fucking thing i was trying to escape in rewatching mymusic in the first place). also, having him sexually assault scene as a means of comforting her after she had just been sexually assaulted in the same way by someone else was... a choice (which is also, uh, personally familiar).

again, i recognize that demonizing melvin wasn't what the f*nes were trying to do here, and i perhaps seem hypocritical for opening liking jeff, but what makes jeff work is he's intentionally "the bad guy." having melvin do the same things as indie and jeff uncritically only proves further that the f*nes can't write for shit, and ruins his character which had, up until he quit mymusic, been unironically good. like, it's obviously not beneficial that the exact asshole things he does are personally triggering, but the character would still be a mess and i would still dislike him regardless.

i want to say though that jack delivers a surprisingly great performance despite how shoddily his character is constructed and how little experience he has as an actor. like, it's clear he was having a lot of fun on set and i would love to see him in something, like, good; i think he could pull off even like, guest television roles, which is a lot more than can be said for other youtubers.

-----

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

nerdchart should have been canon i'm sorry. i know that close, nonromantic male friendships are valuable, esp between queer men, but also gd wouldn't it have been baller to have a canon interracial mlm ship. like. c'mon. and they could have been such a good friends to lovers story! we already got to see how melvin was the only person nerdcore could really be himself around so it would have been so cool if melvin's self-advocacy arc/flowchart arc had revolved more around nerdcore with a little role-reversal! and then they kiss! like god intended!

also i ship him and indie bc i'm a grubby little gremlin man ohoho. enemies w weird sexual tension? sign me up. not even enemies to lovers i'm not saying this one should have been canon i just love the vibes. do you think melvin and indie ever explored each other's bod-- *gunshot*

-----

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

i wish him and scene had just been bros. god remember in season one when they were just bros that was the life.

alternatively, i wish we'd seen more bonding w him and metal, as a means of reconciling that. uh. moment from season one. along similar lines i would have loved to see him get closer w rayna in a similar way to how she bonded w nerdcore in season two. i think that could have also worked to show how she'd grown between the two seasons.

-----

My unpopular opinion about this character:

HIM. AND. SCENE. SHOULD. HAVE. JUST. BEEN. BROS. (though i think my general dislike of him is pretty unpopular, lmao).

when the show was coming out i don't think it's unfair to say that scenechart/scenetern 2 was the most popular ship (aside from potentially techstep whatever) but luckily we're all gay and have better taste now. unfortunately i totally fell into this camp and scenechart was even my otp for years (until it was arguably more unfortunately usurped by reddie in 2019) and i didn't even realise that it's a hot mess until, again, the summer of 2020.

when actually watching the show the choices the f*nes made in regards to how the ship actually became canon are so odd and out of place, too? okay, so, on one hand everyone just shipped scenechart bc it was the whitest hettiest ship in the show (esp in season two when idol left) aside from scindie (and we already discussed what's wrong w that). but, on the other hand, lainey and jack clearly also just got along? and i suspect that lainey probably also admired jack's work and was happy to be working with him bc we have so many shots throughout even the first season when the ship wasn't the intended endgame of lainey scene looking really fondly at jack melvin at times when it doesn't make much sense at all, esp since she's smitten w indie? this trend continues into the second season which arguably works but it still seems really out of place for him to be the one to ultimately make the first move on her since it's clear she was the one crushing this whole time and also he's gay! this bitch is gay what the fuck!!

-----

One thing I wish had happened with this character in canon:

at this point i'm struggling to think of anything i haven't covered yet. oops.

i've talked at length before about how he should have been a woman/lesbian, but the tl;dr is that it would have solved a lot of the queer-coding "problems" that just didn't get resolved in the show. if he'd been a lesbian then not only would the friendship w nerdcore still made sense, but scenechart would have as well (not even mentioning that both of scene's other relationships w men make a lot of sense as comphet anyway).

[an-ambivalent]

Uchiha Therapist: Part I

Synopsis: Yandere! Madara x Reader x Yandere! Sasuke 

 [Name] is a struggling post graduate psychology student who has more on her plate than she can handle. Between her practicums to gain work experience and writing reports, to trying to maintain a decent lifestyle and look after her own mental health, there is little to no time left to work an actual paying job. Yet, money is essential for survival. So,  she does the next best thing that has been trending recently to assure a good paycheck; she becomes a sugar baby. The only thing is, [Name] is unaware that she’s become sugar baby of the Madara Uchiha, the notorious CEO of Uchiha Corporation. She is also unaware of the fact that she’s the therapist of his nephew Sasuke Uchiha, who has begun treading over the professional boundary of a patient, and has started developing an abnormal fixation for his therapist since she seems to be the only one who actually understands him.

Warning: Although this story will come to contain yandere themes that can be triggering or uncomfortable to read, there are no yandere themes present  in this chapter. It does have mentions of negative and tiring thoughts that may be triggering. Read at your own risk. This work is purely fictional and any yandere or other toxic behaviours that may be present in the future, know that I do not condone such behaviour. 

Word Count: 4K 

--

Story start; A day in the life of [Name] 

On the night that started it all, when [Name] was feeling particularly disheartened and dissatisfied with her life, she had vented her frustrations and sorrow to her good friend Ino Yamanaka. Although many things in her life were going right, and she was privileged enough to have the chance to pursue her wanted career, it came at a cost. Her entire life schedule was fixed around her post graduation studies, other little spared time was for cooking and doing chores, and the rest was for sleeping. [Name] lacked the time for earning money, and doing things that were higher on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs — dating to find someone to create a meaningful connection with, or working on her previous hobbies. 

The two friends had been consuming enough booze to be a little more than tipsy but not enough to be drunk. Some words were slurred, the fine motor control had decreased a bit, and with their faces slightly flushed, Ino was convinced that she had the best idea to [Name]’s problems. 

Giggling at her own idea, Ino had snatched [Name]’s laptop from in front of them, and tapped various keyboard keys for joogle to search up. Once she saw the results, she clicked on one of the many websites shown as a result, and after a few more minutes of more clicks and keyboard taps, she had turned the laptop towards [Name] to see, with a triumph grin on her face. 

“A sugar daddy,” Ino claimed proudly. 

[Name] raised an eyebrow. “What?” 

“A sugar daddy — it’s the perfect solution for your troubles. Not only will you get to earn more than enough, it covers the dating aspect too! Someone to spend your time with, to sleep over with — just without getting too attached. You’ll have a social life once again that doesn’t consist of you drinking booze with me or our other friends and you can finally afford to look decent again,” Ino explained straightforwardly. 

[Name]’s eye twitched. “What do you mean finally afford to look decent again?” she inquired in a low voice, and glared at Ino, who smiled sheepishly at her. 

“Well you’ve been a fashion disaster for sometime now—“

“Sorry I don’t have rich parents like the rest of you to buy me extravagant brands,” [Name] retorted, and a tick mark of anger bulged on Ino’s head. 

“Well Sakura is a commoner like you too and even when she was a starving student, she still had a fashion sense. You don’t need to buy something expensive like jucci to look decent!” Ino snapped, and [Name] scowled at her. 

“Whatever. This discussion is pointless anyway since I’m not going to become a sugar baby,” [Name] responded, and went to grab a bottle to consume more alcohol.  However, the uneasy and anxious expression that Ino wore made her halt amidst her movements. All of a sudden, a cold shiver ran down [Name]’s back, and she felt a sense of dread building up in her gut. 

“Please tell me you didn’t,” [Name] pleaded and Ino winced inwardly, before she turned the laptop around to show [Name]. 

“I did… I already signed you up. You have a date with him this Friday night.” 

“INO!” 

That was the gist of how [Name] had become entangled in her predicament with Madara Uchiha, and what was meant to be nights for [Name] giving her daddy some casual sugar, turned into an diabetic sugar addiction. 

It was baffling really, how as children, people can be better in following orders than they can be as adults. And for someone like [Name], who had been studying psychology for years now, and began to work with the theories, one would think that practicing what she preached would be easier; she was great at helping her clients, but not much at helping herself. 

“Make sure you don’t go with strangers” — a lesson that had been engraved in children at school and from their parents for their own safety. It was one of the most basic rules of common sense to evade danger; however, it was the rule [Name] failed to follow. Instead of not going through with her fixed date with a sugar daddy, who was a complete stranger and who knows pose what danger, she had gone through with it. And she had not even taken any caution to have their first meeting in a public place, no. She had gone to his home, which was the only place he accepted for their meeting, because she was too anxious to say no or not go through with it. 

She really wondered how she was able to help her clients so well when she could not even manage her own anxiety. 

So, now, here she sat. Since by Ino’s definition, [Name] was a walking fashion disaster, the blonde had refused to let her go without her help. Their tastes differed, but even [Name] had to admit that Ino had done an incredible job in helping her choose an outfit that was suited to her tastes. Granted, it was skimpier than what she usually wore and more figure defining, but it did make her look really nice. She did not look like a savage mess with evident dark eyebags who appeared to have just gotten out of bed and went to work straightaway like she did on a daily basis. But she felt exposed and uncomfortable in the setting she was not accustomed to.

The penthouse she had been invited to was extravagantly luxurious; the small dining for the two of them (her and soon to be her sugar daddy) was right next to the giant window in the living room that showed a beautiful night view of the Konoha city. Lighting in the room was ambient and romantic, and there was a small pizza, that looked ridiculously expensive for what it's worth, and red wine settled before her. While she did not want to indulge in such luxury, feeling on the edge of the seat because of how her sugar daddy to be was scrutinizing her with calculating onyx eyes, and never being the one to refuse free food, she mindlessly ate it, refusing to meet his eyes. 

“You know, usually you’re supposed to make conversation and sell yourself to try and convince me of why I should stick with you rather than someone else,” Madara spoke, and this was so abrupt and unanticipated on [Name]’s part that she froze half way through biting her food. Her cheeks felt hot in embarrassment, and she awkwardly coughed loudly before looking up at Madara. Although he found her antics to be somewhat adorable, he kept a straight face. After all, to gain the attention of a man of his status, there were many who did the strangest things to appease him. Madara was not a man to be tricked so foolishly. 

“Why should I sell myself when you haven’t convinced me to why I should be your….uh, sugar b-baby rather than s-someone else’s?” [Name] responded. She had started off strongly, but near the end when it came to referring to herself as a sugar baby and realisation of the situation sunk in, she felt herself become more flustered. 

Now, it was not odd for people to be intimidated by Madara. However, acting in confidence at the same time, and to question his authority, that was new. The corner of his lips twitched upwards in amusement. He leaned back in his chair and raised a fine black eyebrow at [Name]. 

“And why should I have to sell myself to you? I’m the one who, essentially, is paying for everything,” he challenged, and [Name] scoffed at him. 

“Yeah, I’m sure that’s really costing you,” she mumbled under her breath, before clearing her throat. “Someone else can pay me too.” 

“You had no reviews on your profile, you’re lucky that I even chose to click on it. Usually, it’s hard to get started since no one bothers with anyone with no reviews.” 

[Name] shrugged. “That was your own choice, don’t shift the situation onto me. And besides, how do you know it's only reviews that count online? I might know a lot of other sugar daddies I had in my past that desperately want me but it's lucky that I chose to give you, a stranger, the chance.” 

Madara was amused by the fact that [Name] had used his own logic against him, and could not help but smirk. Even though it was more than obvious through her behaviour that she was an absolute newbie to this, he decided to humour her. 

"Well, I am an Uchiha," Madara said simply, as if that sole reason explained everything. 

[Name] blinked in confusion. "Uhhh, okay…? Well, I'm [Surname]. That explains why you should choose me.” 

This time, her response really did leave Madara confused. His eyebrows were furrowed and there was clear confusion written on his face. 

“You don’t know the Uchiha?” he asked incredulously. The urge to sigh in an exaggerated manner and snap at him was strong, but [Name] decided against it. With the way he spoke in that condescending tone, and expected [Name] to treat him as if he was of utmost importance, made it more than obvious to her that he was used to being treated as the highest authority. Perhaps he was of importance and not watching herself around him could lead her into a huge mess. But [Name] did not particularly care about his status or whatever he had going on that made him expect her to seemingly kiss the floor he walked on. If she cared about authorities and sucking up to people, then she would not be training to be a therapist in the first place. There were going to be times when she would have to fight authorities and regulations with her sweat and blood for the sake of her clients. And really, if [Name] did care, she would not have been here in the first place -- having dinner with a complete stranger. 

“Uh I do?” she said, but it sounded more like a question. Madara opened his mouth to respond to her, but he shifted the focus of the conversation to another topic. He felt even more perplexed by [Name] now because how could she not know the Uchiha? 

“Nevermind, it’s not of importance. Tell me, why are you in this line of business? You don’t seem,” fit for it, he wanted to say, but chose his words carefully. “The type to want to do this.” 

In response, [Name] felt flustered. She wondered if it was really that obvious that she was not used to it and Madara was simply humouring her. She could very well tell him the truth that it was because Ino had tricked her into it. However, that would make her seem gullible. Now that she may be committing to this, she knew she needed to build a good reputation for herself. She decided to tell the half-truth. 

“I need the money,” she answered in a murmur, before she brought the glass of wine to her lips, and took a huge drink from it. 

Madara watched her with analytical eyes as she downed her alcohol, taking no moment to savour the taste. He had also noticed how she was on her third plate of their dinner and wondered if she had any decency and how she was capable of eating so much. 

“Your job doesn’t pay you enough?” he asked in a genuinely concerned tone, before he followed [Name]’s example and downed his remaining wine in one go too. He had never done that before, and after finishing it, he had to admit there was an odd sense of satisfaction of not savouring its every taste and drinking it all together at once. 

Madara was staring at her with anticipation and worry embedded deep in his ebony coloured irides. Frankly speaking, [Name] had not have someone look at her with such concern in a long time. Generally, on the rare occasions she did speak freely about her worries, whoever she shared her problems with would give her their own input rather than simply listening to her and asking her the right questions that would help her discuss or figure out her own problem. The sight of it made her heart beat faster, and she unknowingly found herself talking before she even what she was doing.

“It’s not that… Well, actually I don’t even work. I barely have time to breath, working is my last priority right now,” she murmured, nervously fiddling with her fingers, as she observed Madara from the corner of her eye.

“While I cannot relate to your financial struggles, I understand the situation you’re in. Becoming so busy because of a goal you once had, that you question whether it’s even worth pursuing it anymore. You lose sight of who used to be and the things that brought you pleasure. There’s always something to do that you can’t even remember the last time you truly felt alive,” Madara said thoughtfully, and his words caused [Name]’s eyes to widen. 

“And no matter how much you want to try and change things, it just feels like you’ve been stuck in the same cycle and it keeps repeating over and over and over again,” [Name] murmured, sighing dejectedly. “I really hate the world.” 

Madara chuckled at her declaration as he lifted another bottle of wine that was on their table. 

“Me too. Why don’t we discuss more things we hate about the world and learn about what we in common over more wine?” he suggested. The edge of suspicion and tenseness he held before was no longer present. Instead, he was now feeling much more relaxed than he had in awhile, and felt intrigued about [Name]. The twinkle in his eyes in hopes to talk to her more caused her lips to stretch into a cute flustered smile. 

“Sure.” 

____________________

It was the week which was like the last and there was no change but stress levels felt higher. Even after a decent ten hours sleep, [Name] felt exhaustion crawling like bugs underneath the epidermis layer of her skin. Dark bags were swelled prominently underneath her eyes. Her hair was tied carelessly in a messy bun that fell to one side; it wasn’t pretty like the one’s beauty gurus showed. It was loose but the knot was tight enough to make the weight of the hair feel too evident with each passing moment. Taking a quick sip from her steaming mocha, she greeted the administrators on the front desk that were the first point of contact between clients and the therapists who worked further back in the office. This office was where [Name] was presently working to gain practice experience in her second practicum. Generally, students in training were simply meant to observe and learn. If permission given by their supervisor, they could step in. But in [Name]’s case, for the sake of the story’s plot, the office she had chosen this time were understaffed. And since she already had finished one practicum and had quite a lot of other experiences from volunteering under her belt, she was trusted to work independently with whatever clients may be assigned to her. 

“Good morning Moegi and Konohamaru,” [Name] greeted, and the two looked up from their screens. When they noticed it was [Name], they beamed at her and returned her greeting in response. 

“How was your weekend [Name]?” Konohamaru asked, as he handed her the appointment schedule of everyone she would seeing today. 

[Name] was ready to give her autopilot response of it being "okay" and then quickly shooting a "how about you" like she usually did. However, before those words left her mouth she paused to ponder: truly, how had her weekend been? 

It was okay. Actually, it had been more than okay.

It had surprisingly been a lot of fun. When she had went through with her sugar daddy date, she had somewhat expected that she may end up having sex with a rich man she would not have been attracted to and receive compensation for sleeping with him. But that had not been the case. Madara was quite attractive, and although the dinner date had begun with a few subtle jeers thrown at each other, she had ended up having a good time with him. The fact that she felt safe enough to be vulnerable with him in the way she didn't even feel that level of comfort with her friends, and shared things she hadn't even known she was bottling up - - it was such a profound experience. To go from discussing their hatred for many things, to confessing secrets and feelings they weren't judged for, but rather, listened to, to getting so drunk that they sang cheesy songs and ended the date with their own unplanned karaoke night, it left an odd feeling of satisfaction and joy in [Name]'s chest that she had not felt in a while. The knowledge of knowing that she would be seeing Madara again soon left her feeling embarrassed. 

"It was," she began, and she covered her face with one hand to hide her embarrassment. "Really nice and fun. I had a good time," she murmured somewhat quietly. Then, right away, she scurried off towards her office before they could question her further or talk about their own weekends.

[Name] had left Moegi and Konohamaru surprised with her response, and the two turned to each other wondering if they had heard right. 

It was after lunch when [Name] was indulging in some [favourite fruit] iced tea, hoping some sugar would help her stay awake when she had an appointment with a client she would be seeing for the first time. She had settled her drink on the table beside her, walked through the hallway, and into the main office with reception and waiting area for clients. 

It was there she saw a young man not much older than herself. He had warm ivory skin and black hair bangs that framed his face. The back of his head looked like a duck’s butt. He must have heard her footsteps because before she even called out his name, he had looked up. When her eyes met his, she took a sharp intake of breath because he looked oddly similar to Madara. The way his obsidian eyes scrutinised her made her feel uneasy. Nonetheless, she gave him, what she hoped appeared to be a welcoming and reassuring smile. 

“You are Sasuke?” she assumed, and he stood up. 

“Hn,” Sasuke responded simply, and at the lack of any greeting or even a facial expression caused [Name] to sweatdrop. But nonetheless, she carried on like she did with all of her patients. 

“Before we start your session, did you want anything? A hot chocolate, coffee, water?” 

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at this before he replied nonchalantly. “A black coffee.” 

[Name] nodded and just before she could speak once more, a head of messy black curls invaded her vision and she was greeted with a smile that was almost too falsely cheerie for her taste. 

“Hello! I’m Shisui, Sasuke’s cousin. And stoic face over there is Itachi, Sasuke’s brother. You forgot about us Miss. Therapist,” Shisui greeted brightly. At his exuberant persona, Sasuke glared at him. The one who he had introduced as Itachi, sighed, and [Name] looked at them apologetically. 

“Oh sorry, I didn’t notice you. Can I get anything for you as well? If you’ve been with Sasuke until this point, I can assume you’ll be staying with him.” 

Itachi nodded and stepped up front and held out his hand for [Name] to shake, which she obliged to almost instantly. 

“Yes. We are here to oversee my little brother’s recovery at my Father’s orders and make sure there is progress,” he explained simply. His words were harsh. It was evident in the way Shisui had become tight lipped, and how Sasuke had now averted his glare onto Itachi. [Name]’s eyes shifted to observe their reaction and then returned to Itachi who was looking at her stoically. It wasn’t too obvious. However, she noticed with the way Itachi’s jaw was clenched more tightly than it had been before. This change in his body language clearly indicated that he had not wanted to say what he did and he did not want to be here. And from the intense glare Sasuke regarded him with, [Name] safely assumed that whatever was going on with Sasuke, Itachi seemed to be a part of it. Underneath Itachi’s pretty eyes, she noticed a sense of tiredness that was all — physical, mental, emotional and more. She saw that same sense of exhaustion on her own face each day. 

The session had not even started and this was already turning out to become so complicated. [Name] hoped she would still have her sanity by the time she graduated and came to do this full-time. There were some of her colleagues who never bothered with rules or following basic procedures to assure their clients comfort and wellbeing. Lucky for her clients, she did. And when she needed to, she would bend over backwards and willingly go beyond her capabilities for them. 

She knew from the way they all held themselves, and particularly with how Itachi had spoken that they were of important status. Their ‘father asked [them] to be here’ was a subtle way of implying that she could get in huge trouble if she did not comply with them. But [Name] just didn’t care. 

She turned to Sasuke with a stern look on her face and motioned towards Shisui and Itachi. 

“Do you want them there to support you or would you feel more comfortable with just you? Either way is fine. It’s your decision,” [Name] said smiling at him. 

The three raven-haired males that had been introducing themselves moments ago stilled and their eyes widened in shock. Shisui was the first one to snap out of it. 

“Uh, Miss. Therapist, I don’t think you know—“ 

“I know what I’m doing. Please refrain from implying such things and let my client decide for himself,” she retorted, narrowing her eyes. Shisui went to warn once more, but he was stopped by Itachi, who shook his head. 

Itachi’s gaze went to Sasuke, and then back to [Name] as he spoke. 

“I’m sure she knows what she is doing. We all wish for Sasuke’s wellbeing. We won’t intrude if he doesn’t want us to,” he proclaimed. That was his way of hinting for Shisui to drop the subject, and reassuring both Sasuke and [Name] that he was on their side, particularly with Sasuke, letting him know that he would not let their father find this out. 

“Aniki,” Sasuke murmured in disbelief, staring at his brother for a few moments. Then, he looked back at [Name] to see she was still giving him the same sweet and gentle smile she had greeted him with. 

Maybe, perhaps, this time, signing up for therapy would be worth it. Maybe he could allow himself to talk to her and not fear judgement and consequences like he had with his previous therapists. 

“I’d like it to be by myself,” he murmured, looking away from her with slight pink cheeks. As his eyes had drifted away from hers and met Shisui’s, who gave him a warning look, his shoulders tensed and his eyes snapped back to [Name] right away. “P-Please and t-thank you.” 

He did not need to glance at Shisui again to know the oldest male was now grinning at him. 

Seemingly, his politeness seemed to be unexpected and Sasuke wanted to scoff at how [Name]’s eyes had lit up in pride. It almost annoyed him because did they really think he was that dimwitted? 

“You’re welcome. Now, follow me please. Shisui and Itachi, our session will be around an hour so you can come to pick him up in that time,” [Name] said. The two of them nodded and waved the two goodbye as Sasuke followed after [Name] to her office. 

-------

A/N:  (tbh, uhhh, I plan for this to be a yandere story [whispers: eventually] but this chapter is fluffy. I honestly don’t know where I’m going with this or if I’ll add more Uchihas as love interests and turn into a reverse harem for [Name], I’m gonna make shit up as I go along and hope it turns into something decent lol gang gang. I just need to write a story I can write without worries and just enjoy the process of it rather than caring about where it leads. So yeet. I hope you join me on this journey <3)