#also they replaced minor characters and made the more important ones do their tasks instead

[beardedhandstoadshark]

We‘re all Disney haters here but with Dracula daily going on I desperately need tumblr to know the existence of this comic adaptation of Dracula that exists within a series of monthly published comic books and looks like this:

Please look at this effort - they really went all out on these, NONE of the other comics look anything close to these. It’s just this one randomly sitting between normal Mickey and Donald comics about going to space or smth

Aside from the lack of prominent character death and replacement by transformation into beetroots it seems surprisingly accurate so far

(Also Disney has like. Nothing to do with these books aside from owning the copyright to the characters, so it’s cool. Pretty sure they don’t even really know these exist lol.)

[onlinelava]

Xce dawnguard

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Fangs and Eyes - A Vampire Appearance Mod.

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[all-seeing-ifer]

Greek mythology references in Ulysses Dies at Dawn masterpost

I saw a post a while back by @spacetrashpile analysing all the arthurian references in High Noon Over Camelot, and since I know quite a bit about Greek mythology I figured “hey! I should do something like that for Ulysses Dies at Dawn!” I’m just going to go through each of the songs in order and analyse/explain the references in them - hopefully other people will find it interesting!

“The City”

Starting with the title - Ulysses is the Latin name of Odysseus, legendary king of Ithaca and hero of the epic poem The Odyssey. Interestingly, Ulysses is the only character in UDAD who is given a Latin name instead of a Greek one. There’s a couple of potential reasons for this but the most convincing to me is it’s meant to reflect Ulysses’ opposition to the Olympians, who are all based on the Greek gods.

Jonny calls the story a “labyrinthine task of a twisted tale”, referencing the Greek myth of the Minotaur, which was kept in a labyrinth to hide it from the world. This reference becomes even clearer when we later learn the City’s original name.

This one’s less a reference to Greek mythology and more to like, actual history, but the description of the City expanding to cover the whole planet is reminiscent of Greek expansion in ancient times. Ancient Greece was made up of many city-states, or poleis, which established colonies or “daughter-cities”, mostly in western Asia, or “Asia Minor” as the Greeks and Romans called it.

The story opens at a “run-down gin join” called Calypso’s - Calypso is a sea nymph who plays a fairly major role in The Odyssey, keeping Odysseus/Ulysses trapped on her island for seven years.

Fittingly enough, Calypso’s apparently pays money to Dionysus, whose mythological namesake is the Greek god of wine.

Broken Horses

Ilium is the Ancient Greek name for Troy, the city that Greece went to war against, according to myth,. Part of this war is described in the epic poem The Iliad, in which Odysseus is one of the soldiers laying siege to Troy.

Much like the Trojan War of Greek myth, the siege of Ilium is said to have lasted a decade.

Ulysses’ gambit with the horse statue sending out a signal driving the people of Ilium mad is pretty obviously a reference to the Trojan Horse - the wooden horse the Greeks built as a “peace offering” to the Trojans that they used to sneak their soldiers into the City and that brought them victory in the war. Like in the UDAD version, Odysseus/Ulysses was apparently responsible for coming up with this plan.

“Olympians”

Ulysses’ wife is named Penelope, same as Odysseus’ wife in the myths

The Acheron is the name of one of the five rivers of Hades, along with Styx, Cocytus, Lethe, and Phlegethon

As a sidenote, in Greek mythology Hades is the name of the underworld as well as the name of the God of the dead - fittingly enough reimagined in UDAD as the controller of a vast network of half-dead minds (and also Ashes)

The most powerful families in the City are called the Olympians - the name given to the twelve most important deities in the Greek pantheon

Poseidon Industries is named for Poseidon, Greek god of the sea and one of the twelve Olympians. Jonny calls them “one of the architects of the Ilium War”, which seems like an odd reference since iirc Poseidon doesn’t have a whole lot to do with the Trojan War. I guess that’s just there to give Ulysses a reason to want to rob Poseidon Industries.

In the Odyssey, Poseidon hates Odysseus/Ulysses for attacking his son, a cyclops called Polyphemus. In UDAD this is changed to Ulysses stealing the diamond from Poseidon Industries’ laser, which is also called The Cyclops.

My Name is No One

The song’s title and chorus is a reference to Odysseus’ famous trick for escaping the Polyphemus’ cave. He tells the Polyphemus his name is “no one/nobody” (depending on the translation) so that when he attacks Polyphemus and the cyclops tries to call for help, he calls out “No one is attacking me” which obviously none of the other cyclopes take seriously. (There’s also a great pun in the original Greek based on the Greek words for “no one” and “cunning” being very similar, but it loses a lot in translation)

However, just like in UDAD, Odysseus messes up this plan badly by calling out his real name when he’s still too close to the island of the cyclops. (although in the Odyssey it’s motivated by him wanting Polyphemus to know his name so he can get glory, rather than just being drunk)

Odysseus bests the cyclops by taking out his eye (there’s debate around it but cyclopes are generally depicted as having only one eye). Obviously in UDAD the cyclops is a machine not a monster, so this is replaced with the diamond at the heart of the laser being called its “eye”.

Also, I’m not sure if this is an intentional reference, but there is a fun irony to the fact that in the Odyssey, Odysseus tricks Polyphemus by getting him drunk so he can then blind him, while in UDAD Ulysses steals the eye of the Cyclops while drunk themself.

“Trial By Wits”

As well as My Name is No One, the whole concept of no one knowing anything about Ulysses’ appearance, gender etc. could also be seen as a reference to the “My name is nobody” trick, or possibly just a spin on Odysseus being a kind of “archetypal hero” - they could be anyone!

Heracles is better known by his Latin name, Hercules (son of Zeus, demigod, inhumanly strong and all that jazz)!

Ariadne is the name of the Cretan princess who helped Theseus slay the minotaur

Orpheus is another of the most well-known Greek mythological figures - the main myth surrounding him says he went into the underworld to rescue his dead wife Eurydice

Oedipus is most famous as the main character of a famous tragedy. His parents are given a prophecy that he would kill his father and have sex with his mother, and so decided to abandon him. As is so often the case with Greek oracles, he ended up doing both things anyway, seeing as how he, y’know, didn’t know who his parents were. The mechs apparently chose to reference this in the most mature of ways by having Jonny call Oedipus a motherfucker. Kind of a lot.

Aside from committing both patricide and incest, Oedipus’ other achievements in myth included winning a battle of wits against the Sphinx, a monster that was killing anyone who couldn’t solve its riddle. This monster is reimagined in UDAD as a disease that Oedipus finds a cure for.

Riddle of the Sphinx

The chorus of the song is taken almost word-for-word from the riddle asked of Oedipus by the Sphinx: “What goes on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?” The answer to the riddle is “man” - crawls on all fours as a baby, walks on two legs as an adult, and walks with a cane (third leg) in old age. The Mechs being the Mechs, this is made completely literal in the world of UDAD.

“Ulysses’ Will”

Like the Oedipus of myth, UDAD Oedipus also ends up killing his father and marrying his mother without knowing. Since he’s replaced his eyes with data sockets by the time he helps kidnap Ulysses, it’s pretty strongly implied that he blinded himself like mythological Oedipus as well.

The “twenty years of sirens” could be a reference to the twenty years Odysseus spends away from Ithaca in the Iliad and Odyssey

Sirens

The sirens were half-bird half-human creatures that Odysseus encountered as part of the Odyssey and that tried to lure him to his death with promises of knowledge.

As well as referencing this story, the line “let the lotus set you free” references another episode of the Odyssey, where Odysseus and his crew arrive on the island of the Lotus-Eaters. Anyone who eats the Lotus fruits falls into a state of apathy and will never want to leave the island, so it’s a fitting episode to reference in a song about Ulysses drugging themself to escape their memories of war.

“Trial By Strength”

Heracles’ backstory is essentially the same in UDAD as in the original myths: one of the many children of Zeus’ many affairs, except in UDAD Zeus has affairs with women from “the lower levels”, instead of just mortal women.

Favoured Son

The tasks Heracles performs for Zeus are a reference to the most famous myth about Heracles - the twelve labours he performs to atone for killing his family.

The song references “the ferryman” who takes people into the Underworld. In Greek mythology the dead travel to the Underworld in a boat rowed by the ferryman Charon.

In both the myth and in UDAD there are...what you might you might call “extenuating circumstances” for Heracles killing his family - in the myth he’s driven mad by Zeus’ wife Hera (bc she’s very angy about Zeus having all those bastard children with mortal women) but since Hera doesn’t play a role in UDAD this is changed to him being framed by Zeus himself.

In addition to being king of the gods, Zeus is also the god of thunder - which is where Heracles’ nickname “The Thunderbolt of Zeus” comes from

“Loose Threads”

Heracles and Orpheus “Backing up Jason on the fleece job” is a reference to the myth of Jason’s quest for the Golden Fleece along with his crew (the Argonauts), which included Heracles and Orpheus.

Hylas was Heracles’ servant and another member of the Argonauts. While on the quest he was kidnapped by nymphs, and depending on which version of the myth you’re looking at, either fell in love with them and stayed there forever, or was murdered by them (Hylas is also the only character referenced I had to google to even know who they were lol)

Heracles telling Ariadne that “Your dad helped me out once” is presumably a reference to the seventh labour of Heracles: capturing the Cretan bull. Now the story of the Cretan bull is actually really long and ties into a bunch of other myths but essentially it was sent to Ariadne’s father, King Minos, as proof that he was the rightful ruler of Crete. However, Minos ended up helping Heracles by letting him take the bull with him to prove that he’d successfully caught it (which seeing as the bull was destroying Crete at that point doesn’t seem like a huge favour on Minos’ part, but ok)

Trial By Song

UDAD Orpheus shares the mythical Orpheus’ main defining trait: his skill at singing that he used to help him on his journey to the underworld.

Trial By Song is a lot more metaphorical than all the others so there’s not that many direct references to the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice in the lyrics - probably the most direct one is “But all the landmarks moved as I walked past/Now I can’t look back”, which references Orpheus’ deal with Hades that he can take Eurydice back to the world of the living as long as he doesn’t look back at her.

“The viper town that bled me dry” could also be a reference to Eurydice’s death from a snake bite.

“Hades”

UDAD Orpheus’ motivation is the same as mythical Orpheus - wanting to bring back their dead lover from Hades.

Ulysses, Heracles, and Orpheus all visiting the “underworld” is taken directly from mythology (although unlike in UDAD, Ulysses/Odysseus never actually speaks to Hades).

Underworld Blues

In Heracles’ confrontation with Hades, he says that “I was sent here your dog to seize/Of my tasks, of my tasks/This was to be the last”. There’s a couple of points here - the mythology reference is to the last of the twelve labours of Hercules: capturing Hades’ guard dog Cerberus. However, I do wonder whether this is meant to be literal (in which case guys, why are we not talking about the fact that Ashes obtained a pet dog while in The City?), or if this is a similar case to all the mentions of ‘horses’ in High Noon Over Camelot actually being about motorbikes.

Orpheus singing to Hades and trying to convince them to release Eurydice is also taken directly from Greek myth, except instead of being moved by Orpheus’ song and agreeing to release his love like in the myth, Ashes just tells him he’s poor for a bit and then says he should go commit some crimes.

“Trial By Love”:

The general concept of Ariadne’s backstory - her helping Theseus fight the minotaur only for him to abandon her - is the same basic idea as the myth of Ariadne and Theseus. Although UDAD Ariadne is at least a bit more fortunate in the sense that she wasn’t truly in love with her Theseus, and he also doesn’t straight up leave her on a deserted island.

Ariadne’s family creating the minotaur is also part of her character in the myth. The difference is that in UDAD the minotaur was created intentionally, while the mythological minotaur was the result of Poseidon making Ariadne’s mother fall in love with the Cretan Bull as punishment for King Minos not sacrificing it to him (I said the Cretan Bull story tied into a bunch of other myths!)

The presence of the minotaur in the City is yet another thing that makes even more sense when we learn about the City originally being called Labyrinth!

Ties That Bind

Ariadne’s family name is Minos, same as the name of her mythical father King Minos.

Ariadne describes her family’s actions as casting a “dark horned shadow” over her, which references the typical depiction of the minotaur as a man with a bull’s head and horns.

In the myth of the Minotaur, Ariadne helps Theseus by giving him a ball of string that he then unwinds as he walks through the Labyrinth, letting him find his way out again. In UDAD this is changed to “strings of code”, that shut down the minotaurs programming. (And if you think that pun’s bad, just wait until we get to Torn Suits!)

The song’s title also brings to mind string or thread, so it can be seen as a subtler reference to Ariadne’s gift to Theseus. Same for Ariadne’s line about “heartstrings long since cut”.

“The Daidala”

Daedalus, the leader of the Suits, shares a name with the mythical craftsman and father of Icarus

He is rumoured to “trade as an Olympian under the name Hephaestus” - a fitting alias as Hephaestus was the god of craftsmen and artisans like Daedalus

The rumour that he killed his son for “getting too ambitious” references the myth of Icarus, who famously died after literally flying too close to the sun using wings held together with wax. The heat of the sun caused the wax to melt and Icarus to fall into the sea. The story is often interpreted as a warning about the dangers of ambition.

Interestingly, it could also reference another myth surrounding Daedalus - one in which Daedalus kills his nephew Talos because he was jealous of his achievements.

Daedalus is also apparently the architect of The City, which was originally known as Labyrinth. This once again references the labyrinth which held the minotaur, and which Minos forced Daedalus to design. Considering the labyrinth’s purpose in myth, it seems like an appropriate name for a city that keeps all its inhabitants trapped with no way out.

Presumably the Daidala in the title refers to the City: Daedalus’ finest creation. In Homeric Greek, daidala is a word that refers to finely crafted objects such as armour.

This track also has another reference to the Orpheus and Eurydice myth when Orpehus offers to sacrifice himself to open the vault - “But he can’t see it through can he? Flinches, looks back. And it doesn’t work.”

Torn Suits

This song is notable for having quite possibly the worst pun in Mechanisms history - “Ulysses pulls out their snub-nosed laser and fires the last shot, splitting the beam across twelve axes”. This references one of the climactic scenes of the Odyssey, where Ulysses/Odysseus wins an archery competition against his wife’s suitors by shooting an arrow through twelve axe heads. (get it, axes as in the weapons becomes axes as in the plural of axis do you get it?????)

Another, marginally less bad pun is Heracles getting “the lion’s share” of the beams, referencing the popular image of Heracles wearing the skin of a lion he killed as one of his labours.

“Sunrise”

The code to Ulysses’ vault: Elysium, is another word for the Elysian Fields. In certain Greek religions, this was an afterlife separate from Hades’ world where heroes and those chosen by the gods would go after they died.

Ulysses’ vault is revealed to contain the “sole surviving oak tree”, under which Penelope is buried. While it’s not as direct a reference as some of the others, this is pretty clearly inspired by the way Odysseus proves his true identity to Penelope at the end of the Odyssey - by telling her that he carved their bed from a tree still rooted to the ground, something only the two of them know.

The track ends with an homage to Homer’s use of similes in the Odyssey: “And as the weary hound, once more at its master’s feet after so long, lays down with the sunlight warming its fur, breathing its last – even so did the eyes of Ulysses close forever.” Not only is this stylistically identical to Homer’s similes, it also doubles as a reference to Odysseus’ dog Argos, who waited for him for twenty years and finally died when he saw Odysseus again.

Elysian Fields

This is possibly a bit of a stretch but the image of Ulysses lying beneath the last tree, next to where Penelope is buried, especially with how they say they’re “with my beloved” and “beside my wife” really brings to mind the scene in the Odyssey where Odysseus and Penelope lie in their tree-bed together for the first time since Odysseus’ return. Which, incidentally, is theorised by some to be the “real” final scene of the Odyssey and everything after that was added on later, but that’s another story.

That’s everything I’ve picked up on but it’s possible there’s more I’ve missed so let me know if there’s any more! I’d like to thank the Mechs for giving me an opportunity to put my useless and extremely niche knowledge to good use!

[skull001]

Many years ago, a group of Japanese employees at Sega created a videogame franchise about a blue hedgehog named Sonic, who runs super fast and fights a very persistent and handsome supervillain called Dr. Eggman.

Like many game companies, they wanted to share their creation with the west, being the USA who would take on the task of localizing the franchise.

However, and for whatever reason, sega of Americ thought that Sonic was not “wester enough” and decided to make changes as they saw fit, essentially creating their very own lore.

Among these pieces of merchandise was a couple of cartoons by DIC: AoStH and SatAM. The first was more faithful to the core of the franchise in those early days (Sonic and Tails fighting Eggman, whose name got changed to Robotnik). The secod cartoon though was very different, as it centered around Sonic and a group of characters known as the Freedom Fighter’s led by a Sally Acorn, This character also happened to be Sonic’s love interest, despite Sega of Japan and Sonic Team already having created their own some time before in the form of Amy Rose.

Fast Forward and the SatAM cartoon is cancelled. 1998 comes and Sega releases Sonic Adventure, which is a sort of reboot that not only updates many aspects of the franchise and sets the identity for the next 22 years, but also becomes THE global identity for Sonic.

By this point, the American take on Sonic is pretty much done for... except for one last bastion: the Archie Sonic comic. However, rather than being a product that pays respect to what came before and what the franchise became, it was clear that mixing both sides was a bad idea that only led to conflict.

Where the Japanese did their very own thing and at no moment ever displayed any hate or resentment towards the western Sonic characters (note: the Japanese are very polite people who will never speak ill of the things they do not like or agree out of spite), the comic on the other hand did everything it could to make THEIR characters look better and more important than the game cast, sometimes to the point of mocking, undermining and even humilliating them. Any game characters who represented a threat/competition to the SatAM/comic characters were not treated very kindly. Amy is the most prominent example as she was seen by many as this “home wrecker” who Japan created to destroy poor prescious Sonally.

Again let’s compare: the Japanese did not mind the American shenanigans since they were more focused on the products that really mattered... and even had they known, they could always choose to be the better people and ignore them instead of lowering to the same level as Archie Sonic. The Americans on the other hand, wanted to use the book to try and influence fans with the idea that not only their universe and characters were better, but even that they could do better than the very creators of Sonic themselves. Case in point: Ken Penders, who claimed to have given “value” to the Sonic brand and wanted to impose HIS vision alone onto someone else’s work.

So, with all that in mind, I will say that Sega of Japan and Sonic Team not being interested nor wanting to use American characters, even if they too are owned by Sega as a whole, is something they are perfectly within their rights to chose. 

I too would not appreciate if someone took my creation, altered it, made up new characters, some of which replace the ones I made as well as their roles (like love interest) and then some people came to tell me that I HAVE TO use them.

That is exactly what a very loud and obnoxious minority among the western Sonic fandom has done, does and will continue to do for years to come.

How in Blaze’s are the people at Sonic Team the bad guys here?

I’ve see certain “fans” on twitter calling them all kind of things, such as racists or bigots because they do not use the characters that ST didn’t create.

IMO, these people are like the orcs from Mordor: it wasn’t their fault that they liked the characters of SatAM and Archie, just like it was not the fault of the elves who fell into the claws of Morgoth, who fuck’em up so badly that they only know how to hate what is true and fair... just like these radicalized fans who feel cheated/betrayed by Sega of Japan. A things that is a absurd as the orcs blaming Eru illuvatar for what Morgoth did. Yeah, I just compared SoA to Morgoth. XD

Then again, Archie was ran by SatAM fanboys. They hada chance to transition in 1998 and adapt, but instead they were like “No! this is the Sonic we like and this is the hill we choose to die for!” and act in the mosy stubborn manner.

For all the crap they say about how Amy wants to hold back Sonic, little do they realize that they were doing the very thing they have accused this character of for over 20 years.

The demand from Sega and ST that which they have no right to... just like a bunch of petulant, entitled Karens.

[midnightseabeach]

His Dark Materials ended and now it can be said with certainty that producers totally ruined the original book. People who praise this series either didn’t read the original, or prefer to simply ignore numerous retarded discrepancies from the book. It’s very stupid to just disregard how they misrepresented and twisted the original story and characters. Because in some cases, like with Coulter, it became so OOC you can say they created a completely new characters which have nothing to do with originals. They randomly cut some important plot lines, like showing how Lyra was training to read alethiometer. Instead they added what wasn’t in the book, like the whole Will story, while the MC of the first book must be only Lyra. Btw Will’s storyline was the most boring and irrelevant to other events. What was especially exasperating and annoying is that almost all of their plot changes had literally no reason. It didn’t make plot more understandable, neither it improved anything. On the contrary the story became more incoherent and motivations of the characters were distorted. It shows complete lack of respect from the series producers for the book they based the series upon. They brushed away the book canon like it’s nothing and replaced it with their tasteless and absolutely unneeded ideas.

The biggest misrepresentation and distortion from the book was Coulter’s character. The actress’ appearance was a total miscast (as almost everyone else) she looks too old. But they also butchered her personality. Maybe it was Ruth Wilson initiative in performing this role or the director told her to play it this way. But she was presented like some wild psycho which is complete contradiction to the books. Apparently they wanted to show her more beastly, to make her similar to her monkey daemon. But why though? People don’t need to act like their daemons at all. And her daemon was actually much calmer than Coulter herself. She grimaced, grinned, acted like hysteric, threw tantrums and almost tried to jump off the building. Compare it to aristocratic and dignified Nicole Kidman in this role in the movie, they are like heaven and earth. It’s hard to believe that this Coulter from the series was actually smart enough for her schemes, she was just freaking out constantly. They even added a scene when she was trying to strangle a nurse, which is another bullshit. All in all they created a new character which has nothing to do with the original Coulter. Moreover they implied that she might have gotten her power and influence in the Magisterium through sleeping with men which is absolutely disgusting and misogynistic. It’s like the authors are saying that woman can’t build a career with her own talents. But Coulter achieved everything with her own charisma and through her willpower, intimidation and talent to control people. She is not a pleasant character, but it was repulsive how they twisted her nevertheless.

One of the most irritating ‘innovations’ from the producers was of course change of race for some characters. There were no blacks in the book, deal with it. Not every book or movie must have black characters. Especially if it takes place in Victorian setting, even a fantasy one. Because European culture is inherently white. It was horrible idea to blackwash initially white characters. Changing the race of a character for political correctness is racist itself and shows contempt to the original source material. Those black actors got roles only to fill quotas for mandatory race ‘diversity’, it must be offensive for them too. And it looked beyond ridiculous to suddenly have a black college headmaster. Like it or not, but he simply didn’t fit into the setting. Also series’ authors were hugely racist towards the gyptians. They made gyptians black and white, while they are mostly brown and have their own nationality. But producers just erased their nationality for more racial quotas. It looked so fucking strange and out of place to have black gyptians, actually white woman as Ma Costa looked like a total miscast too. And they didn’t stop at that and even added a token black male/white female pairings which of course weren’t in the books. There was no reason for these changes except for their retarded virtue signalling. Also Boreal's plotline was super forced and unneeded. He is such a minor character in the books but they pushed him into viewers' throats like if he was another main character. It's absolutely dumb and pathetic.

Just a reminder that another series with forced diversity ‘Troy: Fall of a City’ massively flopped in ratings. They made Achilles and Zeus black there, and it ruined the series to the point where nobody watched it. Not even blacks themselves too. Because it was simply ridiculous and looked inappropriate to the original - just like blacks in HDM too. And apparently HDM followed the same fate. It hugely dropped in ratings after the seemingly successful start. By the final episodes only a half of the initial audience was still watching. That’s what you got when you choose actors based on their race and not on their canonical depiction. At this point it’s surprising that they didn’t make some racial diversity among the polar bears too. They could have colored some of them black, the bears are definitely too white for those sjw-ish authors.

The main character Lyra was changed and distorted too. They obviously tried to show her as more active and strong girl to please sjw, but she turned out to be simply rude, annoying and impudent brat. She was disrespectful to everyone, from the king of gyptians to Iorek who became the king of polar bears. She was always tampering in others business, like when she suddenly interfered gyptians meeting with her ‘inspiring’ speech and convinced everyone. It made her into irritating and boorish mary sue. While in the book Lyra actually had some respect for Lord Faa and Iorek and even felt a bit shy around them. Also the actress simply looks ugly and repulsive. She looks like a relative of some shitty refugee and not like a girl from noble English family.

The result was predictable - the series had comparatively poor ratings and didn’t become another big fantasy hit. Even though they had wonderful original books which could have been turned into an interesting and colorful story. All they had to do was simply to follow the canon text and they failed even at that simple task. When will studios learn that nobody cares for their shitty vision and true fans want to see the most accurate adaptation.

[the-kiwi-is-not-a-pewee]

Every Single Grievance I have with Fable 3

I don’t hate Fable 3.

I swear I don’t, especially after a second playthrough that helped me get over the jarring change of mechanics from Fable 2. Heck, I don’t even think it’s a bad game. But I have a lot of problems with it.

Like, quite a few. And I did say I was never gonna stop ragging on it, so this list of grievances is the result. It’s not comprehensive, it’s going off of pure memory so YES I will get details wrong but this wasn’t made with perfect accuracy in mind.

It’s a lot of minor things and if anyone can explain why some of these things are like this, please tell me.

Enjoy my complaining.

1. Where the Fuck Am I?

Sanctuary map oh Sanctuary map, where the fuck am I???

I actually have a couple problems with the Sanctuary map, one of which being that it is a terrible map. Oh, it does decently well in places that don’t have many multi-level areas like Brightwall, but in places like Mistpeak? Where the terrain can range from very high to low? 

Navigating with the map is an absolute nightmare.

And I say this after trying to find the Mistpeak Demon Door using just the Sanctuary map. The result of that adventure was me looking up a YouTube video instead.

Nothing is where you think it is, areas are hard to pinpoint in relation to each other because you either can’t see them or there are other obstacles in the way. And the map doesn’t show you where YOU are so you have to either rely on the golden trail or do guesswork.

Not that the golden trail is reliable because the thing fizzles like a candle in the wind and it can’t lead you to locations that are not quests or fast-travel locations.

And... oh boy. Fast travel.

How the fuck does this game determine where you end up when you fast-travel to a location? Fast-travelling to Brightwall especially is a gamble, you either end up all the way outside the gates where you enter from Mistpeak Valley or you end up in the square. Why is it not always the square? Why can you end up outside the village? There’s nothing interesting there that would warrant it.

2. Dying in Slow-Motion

This isn’t about the hidden health bar. I’ll get to that later. This is about the gratuitous amount of slow-motion shots you get while fighting.

It’s... frankly a little absurd, like someone really REALLY liked that mechanic in Fable 2 and decided to crank it up to 11.

I get it, some nice slow-motion so we, the players, can appreciate the flourishes. But sometimes I don’t even hit anything so I’ve just wasted a few seconds watching my character miss, and sometimes if you’re swarmed you get a lovely slow-mo shot of your character about to get bodied.

It’s not as annoying as some other things, but I have to ask. Why??

3. Skill Tree Nuance

Fable 3 absolutely stripped any nuance of upgrading the Heroic disciplines. Fable and Fable 2 at least had you choose what ASPECT of each of the disciplines you wanted to level up, so you had to at least make a decision of what you valued most of each one. Was Accuracy more important to you because of the type of gun you were using or perhaps you liked shooting things more? Did you prefer a bigger health bar at this point in time over hitting harder? Did you want the greater power of Shock over the ability to hit more targets with Inferno? (These examples are all from Fable 2 because I’m not familiar enough with Fable to pull from that.)

In Fable 3 your hardest decision leveling up in skills is merely deciding if you like melee, shooting, or magic better. With a side of selecting what spells you want.

Nice.

And no, having the Guild Seals act as your experience and unlockables currency does not make the choice much more complex. You’re still choosing to upgrade the entire skill and not upgrade choice aspects of it.

4. Why is My Health Bar the Entire Screen

Listen. I meant it when I said I don’t hate Fable 3, and a big reason is because I can play around most of the stuff that is annoying or unfamiliar to me.

Except.

The.

Health.

Bar.

For those who don’t know, Fable 3 does not have a health bar. Or, rather, it does, but you, the player, are not privy to it. Instead, the entire screen turns gray and the edges turn red like it’s a fucking FPS shooter. Fable 3 is not an FPS shooter. Fable as a SERIES is not an FPS shooter.

It is not the type of game where you should have to guess EXACTLY how low your health is, because while the screen change gives you an approximation, it’s absolute garbage for making a quick estimate of how many hits you can take before you’re knocked out.

You also can’t even increase the health bar on the Road to Rule. At least, not as far as I’m aware because I CAN’T FUCKING SEE IT. Speaking of the Road to Rule...

5. Road to Rule is Not Terrible, But Half of it is Unnecessary

I get that the Road to Rule is supposed to be a replacement for the menu level-up systems in the other two games but the thing is, since leveling up was dumbed down the Road to Rule doesn’t have much going for it aside from being Theresa’s pocket dimension where she can talk to the Hero of Brightwall. But even then it’s unnecessary because, as seen in the last part of the game when she shows up for the last time, she can apparently stop time itself.

The thing is, half the shit in the Road Rule makes no sense to be locked behind progression. Sure, dyes maybe I can get (even though they’re superficial), but expression packs? I need to progress to even gain the ability to make friends with someone? I have to wait and shell out Guild Seals just to buy property?

Why? Because of the second half of the game? 

Wasn’t the point of that being the gold amount was set so ridiculously high you still have to put in time or job grinding so regardless you have to invest something? Being able to buy property earlier in the game isn’t going to impact it that much, which just makes it being barred in the Road to Rule very... unnecessary. Like the job level ups being in the Road to Rule instead of leveling up in the job itself and thus breaking any impression that your character was getting better at the task by doing it instead of just suddenly shooting up in skill.

6. Why is the Guild Seal so Fucking Huge and Logan’s “Enough!”

Nothing major here, just like... why is the guild seal so huge? It requires like 2 hands to pick up. Sparrow traveled with that thing for like, gods know how many years as well as the Heroes from ages past. Why is the damn thing so big, it’d be so inconvenient to carry.

Also in the cutscene where Walter confronts Logan and the Hero of Brightwall tries to stop him, there’s this moment where Walter tries to protest and Logan goes “Enough!”. But the thing is, he says it in the same tone you’d take if you were cutting someone off, and Walter stops speaking before Logan says it. It���s just a little awkward.

7. Side Cast

I really actually have only one issue with the side cast. Other than that, I think Fable 3 has a very well-developed side cast. Walter is really cool, Jasper is amusing, and Page and Ben are enjoyable and mark their personalities out starkly. I could go on, but you get the idea. I feel like I know these characters as people, much better than I do in Fable 2.

But the thing is, while that is true, some relationships are straight-up neglected. For example: any sort of dynamic between the Hero of Brightwall and Logan and the relationship between the Hero and their dog. Fable and Fable 2 at least gave their characters if not equal time, at least SOME time. The dog gets a few cute tidbits and honestly I didn’t expect a retread of the connection from Fable 2, but half the time I forget the dog is even there. The relationship between the dog and Hero does not impact anything unless you count Traitor’s Keep, but we’re not since it’s DLC. Nothing impactful is really connected to the dog.

Logan. Oh, Logan. You got did so dirty by this game. Fable 3 had the opportunity to do something with the player choosing to spare Logan, but it goes nowhere. It doesn’t offset your new money goal or increase it if you choose to execute Logan because of his soldiers leaving or staying depending on the choice, the Hero and Logan basically never talk in the second half of the game, heck, you don’t even see him again until he’s all “Imma just go” at the end. I’m not asking for a lot here, just something. I get that forcing your sibling to choose between the life of their childhood friend/lover and the lives of protesters will damage any semblance of a sibling bond they would have, but it would’ve been a wonderful opportunity to delve even deeper into why Logan made the choices he did and how they affected him. Does he feel remorse for what he did now that he’s off the throne? Would he do it all again? We’ll never know, because he vanishes off the face of Albion until the end where he says he’s leaving.

8. Some Plot Holes and Other Plot Issues

As much as I like Logan and believe he’s easily the most complex major antagonist the Fable series has had, uh... as much of the Fable community has pointed out, his secrecy makes no sense. At first I thought maybe he kept quiet because he thought no one would believe him when he said the Darkness was coming and Walter and the Hero of Brightwall only believed him because they experienced it for themselves. And that’d be a perfectly plausible explanation.

If the entirety of Aurora couldn’t back up his statement.

Seriously, it wouldn’t be just Logan’s word, he has the remnants of an entire nation to back him up. He already made a promise to Kalin and she’s been portrayed as a perfectly reasonable leader, I can’t see why she’d not help Logan convince Albion of the danger. It’d be in her best interests as well because it would increase the likelihood that Aurora would get aid from Albion.

Logan also doesn’t look great or even effective as a leader. Theresa tells you that he can’t defeat the darkness because... reasons, and I actually believe her. Because this guy has apparently been taking what was essentially the evil path to getting gold and only raised... 400,000 gold in 4 years. And you can piss that all away in one of your first choices as ruler. That’s like... really pathetic and unbelievable, because the evil choices are supposed to give more gold. That’s the whole reason why Logan decided heinous actions were okay in the first place! 400,000 gold doesn’t convince me of that!

Also, the second half of the game really suffers because of the Good/Bad duality choice system. It gives you little room for compromise. Why can’t I tell Samuel to wait one more fricken year before Brightwall Academy is reopened? Why does the orphanage have to be torn down to make room for a brothel, was there no other buildings or empty space?

See what I mean here?

9. Gamebreaking Glitch I Encountered And Am Still Salty About

Apparently, there’s a gamebreaking glitch in Fable 3 where you load the game up... and you never leave the loading screen. Yeah. That’s a thing. And I know, because I got it. The only way you can re-enter the game is by deleting your save file, because Fable 3 is so allergic to menus that you can’t even switch Heroes in the Sanctuary since that requires you to enter the game first. Yes, I am still salty about this.

10. This Is Just Here Because I Don’t Like The Number 9

Elise/Elliot don’t have a lot of emotional impact on me. You don’t really spend a lot of time with them like you do with Rose or even see them killed in front of you like with Rose OR Scarlet Robe. Like, you meet them in the garden then you get pulled away for a swordfighting tutorial lesson and then there’s a cutscene and you make a choice and they’re either dead or not. Aside from their unique presence in the kidnapped quest, they’re kinda just... there, especially if you choose to save them.

11. I Forgot This When I was Originally Writing the Post

Interacting with NPCs outside of the story-relevant ones in Fable 3 is... awkward. You are forced to interact with them one-on-one and do quests just to get them to like you. And I get the quest part, for it to force some personalized connection between the two of you, but the quests are all the same! Fetch this, deliver that, dig up this. You don’t even get to choose what expression you can do to them because the game only lets you see three options at a time.

Fable 2′s NPCs were not exactly deep and complex either, but they had personality! They had likes and dislikes and favorite places and shit. AND you could choose exactly what expression to do. Stores are not great either, the wares are so limited and unreliable its difficult to find anything specific.

Some Good Points About Fable 3 Because This was Too Much Negativity

Walter, as a final boss, is foreshadowed and built up much better than the Great Shard in Fable 2. While I do love the Perfect World section of Fable 2, it works better narratively than it does gameplay-wise. Lucien is built up to be Sparrow’s ultimate confrontation and he just... falls and dies after you suck the power out of him. Not exactly riveting.

The Hero of Brightwall follows the trend of having a semblance of personality and not being an entirely blank slate mouthpiece for the player. Fable’s Heroes have always been slightly more than just player avatars, to me at least. There are these little moments where they act like their own person. Like the Hero of Oakvale having a PTSD flashback of his village being burned down, or Hammer commenting on how quiet Sparrow is, or the Hero of Brightwall being a bit cheeky at times like giving Saker a playful punch before pulling him to his feet or saying “This is the last party I’m taking you to” (or something of the like) to Page at Reaver’s mansion. I dunno, it’s just this tiny detail I always liked about Fable.

THE FASHION IS SO MUCH BETTER IN FABLE 3. Gods I don’t know why I get so hung up on this but every dress and most of the shoes in Fable 2 look TERRIBLE. Fable 2 just doesn’t have a lot of appealing clothing options for me, thus why I dress mostly the same in a lot of my playthroughs of Fable 2. But Fable 3 has much nicer looking clothing. I only lament that I can’t snag something like Page’s masquerade dress, that thing was gorgeous.

I spent way too much time on this.

[the-fault-in-our-iman]

Assalamualaikum, what do you think about listening music? Lots of preacher out there telling us not to. But what if the context of the music is good, motivational, (there's no sexual and dirty things etc).

Wa Alaikumus Salam,

I’m so glad you asked and am happy to see you searching for knowledge!

I’m not a scholar or somebody appropriately qualified to input my opinions. This answer is from my own research and what my teachers have taught me. 

As far as the four imams, all 4 of them agree that music is haram. There is a small, small minority that hold  the view that it is permissible and even that is with many conditions.

The ruling for music comes from many hadiths as well as incidents from the life of the Prophet pbuh that talk about the impermissibility of instruments. Even if songs are about good things and the lyrics are clean, music is music.

The first thing I would say is to understand that when something is made haram for us, it is done so by the wisdom of Allah SWT and for our benefit. There can be no good that comes from such a thing and it is in our best interest of this life and the next to leave it.

Second, Allah SWT recognizes that this is a test and it is tempting but there is great reward in leaving it. Abu Qatadah reported: "The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, you will never leave anything for the sake of Allah Almighty but that Allah will replace it with something better.” This hadith was graded as Sahih by Sh. Albani.

I have given a more in depth answer to this type of question before which I will copy paste below. I’m also going to link another answer by a fellow Tumblr blog relating to the issue of music at the end of the post.

Previous Answer:

Living in a time and place like today, music is always promoted and hard to get away from. Even those who do not wish to hear it do end up listening to it. 

Amir ul-Mu’minīn ‘Ali (a.s.) says,“Angels do not even enter a house that has wine, drum, tambourine or a flute. Even the prayers of the inhabitants of this house are unacceptable. They are deprived of Barakat.”

It is important to understand that either listening to or making music is a huge sin in Islam. It is reported by Fazl ibn Shazaan from Imam Ali ar-reza (a.s): “And to be engrossed in musical instruments is also a Greater Sin”

“The Sixth Imam (a.s.) has also stated, “The playing of violin promotes the growth of hypocrisy in the heart like water assists the growth of vegetation (algae).”

Sometimes some of us do not completely feel the feeling in Salah, or do not like to hear Qur’an, it is because our minds and hearts have been corrupted by listening to other useless songs etc.

In the Qur’an it states: “Surely, the hearing and the sight and the heart, all of these shall be questioned about that?” (Surah al-‘Isrā’, 17:36) This ayah warns us that we will be questioned about all we hear, every word heard and every song on replay.  By listening to music we are only making it more difficult on ourselves. Below are some tips to help us all, In Shaa Allah. 

1)   Listen to acapella

Acapella are songs without instruments. It is considered as the lesser of the two evils. It can help you gradually stay away from music until you completely forget it. Although listening to acapella may not be such a grand deed because you are still listening to something not necessary, it can help you get farther away from instruments. It can be considered a first step, not a solution. 

2)   Replace with Qur’an

Qur’an Alhumdulillah, is such a blessing from Allah SWT, it heals hearts that have hardened and is so beautiful. There are so many reciters from which you can choose. Once you find a reciter that appeals to you, just plug in your headphones and enjoy. One will see a big difference in character and Iman. We also get blessings for every word we listen to.

3)   Replace with Nasheed

There are a variety of nasheed artists who sing about the Prophet (SAW) and messages of Islam. Although do be careful because some nasheeds also have music in them. Some great artists are Dawud Wharsnby, Native Deen, Kamal uddin, Maher Zain, Zain Bikha. Their nasheeds have non-instrumental versions. 

4)   Delete all the songs on your device

Deleting the songs from your phone or computer or whichever device you use will make it easier for you to stay away from because music will be less convenient. 

5)   Surround yourself with good friends

Being around people that listen to music will tempt you so much. It will make you want to listen to music and be able to join in on conversations about who’s music video sucked and who’s new songs just came out. Instead, surround yourself with people who encourage you and have the same goals in mind. 

6) Make Duaa

This is perhaps the most important step of all because duaa really does wonders. Ask Allah SWT for the love of the actions which He loves and He is pleased with. and hatred for the things which He SWT is displeased with. Allah SWT listens and hears and for sure assists the sincere and genuine caller.

It may seem like such an impossible task but its possible. Restricting yourself from something that you love just because it is displeasing to your Creator and his Messenger (SAW), is also a form of jihad. May Allah swt guide us and keep us strong, Ameen.

I also encourage you to talk to a local imam or research what other known scholars have said on this topic so everything is accurate and clarified In Shaa Allah.

Lastly, this is the link for the other answer: http://the-fault-in-our-iman.tumblr.com/post/168062303513/thoughts-on-music

[realsmileyclown]

Will Clowns Ever be viewed Favorably again?

I should start off by saying this is only regarding how clowns are viewed by the public in the United States as in other countries the art may/is viewed differently. I have experience where I live so that will be the focus here. Now I know there are lots of people who like clowns but anyone here can tell you those people are the minority and vocal minority as well. Thats not to say the majority dislike clowns but the vocal majority definitly does. Id rather say the actual majority kind of avoids clowns and only if it gets brought up usually just say they dont really like them. This wasn’t always the case though as back when circuses were very popular and a part of american entertainment, nearly on par with sports like baseball, clowns had to be at least in the positive view of the people. This is because clowns have always been the mascot of these circuses from the height of popularity until the recent closing of ringling. We can see both old and modern examples or clowns always being used in PR stunts or on advertisements.

Here we see and old style poster advertising the circus and we see Julia who has ben in many pictures promoting Ringling Brothers. We see that both use clowns. These are important details because if people viewed clowns how they do now back then we wouldn’t expect to see much interest in the circus with those types of promotions. Clearly the circus kept trying to use clowns for PR even after the clowns decline but that clearly didnt work anymore as circus attendance lowered and other reasons led to closings.

There are lots of reasons why clown popularity decreased and i dont want to make this post about that but in short basically media depictions of clowns started to use them as horror symbols to play off the fact that a few people actually had phobias of them.

The point here though is do I think clowns will ever be back to their status of public favor when the circuses were in their prime as well as how could they get there.

First off I do think they have a chance to get back to their old level. I think this because I dont think there is really that much standing in their way. The main difference I see is that back then clowns were part of the circus package and people thought their job was to look weird and act silly to make people laugh. People didnt necessarily like clowns but didnt dislike them. Probably if you asked someone at the circus if they liked them they’d just say yeah are funny but thats it. Now people think they are people whose job is to look strange and act stupid to try and get people to laugh. The difference may seem small but essentially im claiming that the experiences that caused clowns to be viewed unfavorably shifted the people’s perspective to go from thinking clowns had a weird look which made them look funny to instead a strange bizarre look which makes them look off putting or creepy. The same is true for their actions. We know that this is a subtle difference but explains the shift from a slight positive to a slightly more negative view. We also know that this is only a shift in how they view clowns and not the clowns faults due to the fact that clowns havent changed those two things about themselves. If anything on average their makeup got less weird. See the pictures below with an old clown and a new clown and try to tell me the new one looks more creepy than the old one.

Clearly it had everything to do with public perception and not to do with them. Now public views constantly change so i see no reason they cant change back to how they were but it will take the work of lots of clowns to make it happen. This time clowns will also have to work harder as they no longer have ringling brothers to help keep them working and in the public eye.

One of my first suggestions is to stop worrying and complaining about scary media depictions worsening the image and instead focus on ways to improve the image of clowns. Everytime people who like those movies hear clowns complain about movies like “It” they just think worse about clowns and wonder why they cant just let them enjoy their movie. Clowns should take hollywood using their image as a compliment and find a way to make it positive. Clowns should do what they do best and laugh when they see those movies because it really is funny that someone thought they’d take a clown, which is funny and makes people laugh in real life, and make a movie where they are scary instead. Its quite a funny contrast to be scared of something that is funny. Having a positive attitude like this instantly changes its dynamic and now whenever a thing like this comes out clowns can claim it as part of their culture so all the people looking into it are reminded that real clowns are the opposite instead of sore losers who cant have any fun. Clowns have to take jokes not just dish them out. For one i love the joker and harley quinn. I dont think they are bad for clowning as i appreciate seeing clowns become such iconic comic and movie characters.

Now im not saying just let the media get filled with scary clowns. We need to let them have their fun and make fools out of us cause clowns are fools. But we need to make sure for every 1 scary clown picture there are 10 nice ones to counter it. Currently the internet  probably has got as much creepy clowns as it has real clowns. Even just typing clown gets mostly scary results it seems. We need people to see a higher ratio of good clowns to bad ones. This is why I like sharing pictures and why i like taking more of me to help contribute to these numbers. I am waiting to get a nice set up ready for the next time I’m in full makeup so I can do a photoshoot and get tons of pictures to spread of myself to help but for now heres another of me.

Thats only the easy fixes we can make but even with those fixes I feel a significant improvement could be accomplished. The real task now is to get people watching clown performances and laughing. If they enjoy watching clowns then they enjoy clowns. Without the circus we need a new avenue for this as I personally dont think Birthday parties are reliable and parades dont allow for real performances. I dont know who or how this part will be improved but I can almost garentee it will be on the internet. Over the last 2 decades we saw the internet grow from almost nothing into the powerhouse of entertainment. Things like netflix have almost replaced cable. Youtube created whole new careers for film with categories never possible on tv or in theatres. As far as I have seen no clown has truly utilized the internet yet. Most either just make a post on their regular socials of them in makeup, others use it to promote their in person business for parties, or others sell their costumes to other clowns. These are great but what we need is someone to figure out how to revolutionize clowning online as so many other markets did. Using the internet to boost offline business is great but true progress is when the business is online as well.

I wish I knew what it will be that revolutionizes clowning online so I could share it with you. Mainly I wish I knew what it will be so I could do it, ha ha! Until that day comes however we can keep spreading positivity, nice images and trying new things online.

Keep on smiling and keep on clowning!

[wisdomfish]

5 Most Ridiculous Books to Ever Become Christian Best Sellers

If you were to scan the lists of the best selling Christian books of all time you’d see some truly amazing books there. You’d see some books that have helped us better understand who God is and books that have instructed us. and how we as Christians can live lives of obedience to Him, and like you, I’m genuinely thankful for these books. Sadly though, you’d also see some truly flat-out awful books. Today I’ve narrowed down that list to the five most ridiculous books to ever become Christian bestsellers.

Let’s begin with The Prayer of Jabez by Bruce Wilkinson.

This book was released in 2000 and it just absolutely exploded. It quickly became one of the best selling Christian books of all time. Only a couple have ever out-sold it. And this whole book was premised on just two little verses in 1st Chronicles, chapter four, where we come across this guy named Jabez, and he asked the Lord to bless him. And God blessed him. That’s all we know about Jabez and his situation. But Wilkinson turned this into a kind of global instruction for all Christians to go to God and get from Him whatever they want. Here’s what he said. In his book he said, I want to teach you how to pray a daring prayer that God always answers. It’s brief. Only one sentence, with four parts, and tucked away in the Bible. But I believe it contains the key to a life of extraordinary favor with God. Long story short, if you pray this prayer, as part of your daily life, God will give you what you want. That book went on to sell more than 10 million copies.

Now, what was the problem with The Prayer of Jabez? Well, there’s too many to list in just a short format like this, but perhaps the greatest one is this. It takes a tiny and descriptive passage, and it makes it a major and prescriptive instruction. We believe, of course, the scripture is breathed out by God. All of it breathed out by God. All of it, profitable to us. But that doesn’t mean that all scripture weighs equally heavy when it comes to what is true—when it comes to instruction—on how we ought to live. The Prayer of Jabez missed the entire thrust of scripture to deliver this ridiculous, ridiculous message. All Wilkinson really did at the end, was he took advantage of the innate greed within the human heart. To do that he overpromised and he underdelivered.

Bonus fact. Did you know that Derek Webb’s song Wedding Dress from the album, She Must and Shall Go Free, is all about the prayer of Jabez? If you give it a quick listen, just pull it up on Youtube, give it a quick listen, in light of the book, and in no time you’ll see how he absolutely savages it.

Book number two is The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson. Now, if Bruce Wilkinson, he went to a minor passage to gain his inspiration, Batterson did him one better. He went outside the Bible altogether. He went all the way to the Talmud. And there he found a character named Honi. And this man lived in ancient Israel and at one occasion the region in Israel was experiencing this great time of drought, and so this guy, he drew a circle in the dust and he stood inside that circle and he informed God, I will not move until it rains. Well then it began to drizzle and he told God I expect more rain than that, and it began to pour. And he told God, you know what, make it a calm rain, and the rain calmed down.

Well, of course, Batterson makes this into something all Christians can do, all Christians should do. He tells us the purpose of the book is to draw circles or walk circles or imagine circles around anything that we want. And then because we’ve done that, God gives them to us. These circles, he says, are the key to effective prayer. What’s the problem with this? Well first, the whole thing comes from outside the Bible. That alone should be a big source of concern. Second, within the Bible, God gives us all sorts of instruction on prayer, but He never says a single thing about drawing circles, about making circles. And then third, what Batterson teaches, it’s completely indistinguishable from the whole name it and claim it of the prosperity gospel. Just like Wilkinson, he’s taking advantage of our greed and perhaps our lack of understanding about prayer, and he’s offering what appears to be an easier and more satisfying, a more immediate answer. And yet his book, and all the various books that came from it, they sold more than a million copies.

Next up we get to Your Best Life Now by Joel Osteen. This is one of a bunch of books by Osteen that have sold in the millions of copies. They’ve been on the list of best-sellers, but this was his first and still his best known. The premise of the book is that God wants our lives to be easy and comfortable. God wants to bless us in such a way that we experience all the finest things that this life has to offer. We can, we should expect that God doles out this kind of preferential treatment to His people. So what Osteen does is he lays out the seven-step plan to experience your best life now. And what he lays out is basically just a mash-up of the gospel of self-esteem, or the gospel of self-empowerment, combined with the prosperity gospel. It’s basically just Norman Vincent Peale meets Oral Roberts.

So what’s the problem with it? Well, basically the problem is all in the title. That we can and should expect to live our best lives now. Osteen’s version of the good news that Christianity brings the world is that we can have all we want, we can have all we desire in this life. Really when you look at it, his gospel is nothing to do with Jesus Christ, nothing to do with the forgiveness of our sins, nothing to do with life eternal. His gospel is that we can measure our lives, and we can measure our spirituality by the pleasures we experience in this world.

Bonus fact. Did you know that there was a board game edition of Your Best Life Now? The game actually made no sense. It was completely unplayable. It’s regarded as one of the worst board games in history. Believe it or not, one of the tasks you actually had to complete in this game was to look into a mirror and to say affirming things about yourself and I don’t think it sold nearly as well as the book.

And now we move to that heaven tourism genre. And you knew it had to get to this at some point, right? This whole genre began with Don Piper’s book, 90 Minutes in Heaven, where he claimed that he had died and he had gone to heaven and then he had returned.

Well, that book just absolutely took off, and wouldn’t you know it soon, everyone and their brother was dying and going to heaven and coming back of course. Or even better, people were remembering, oh yeah, I went to heaven too. So suddenly there was this entire genre of books that were all about sharing stories of going to heaven. Except for that one poor guy who spent 23 minutes in hell instead, but anyways.

Of all these books, and there were so many of them, the one that sold best was Heaven is for Real by Todd Burpo. And it told the story of his little boy Colton who survived this bout with appendicitis. But who after he recovered from surgery, began to tell his parents about some experiences he had had there in the surgery. Well he apparently died and he went to heaven and he met Jesus and he encountered angels and even met his sister who had died before he was born. That book also sold more than 10 million copies and it got turned into a movie.

Well, what’s the problem with Heaven is for Real and really what was the problem with all of these heaven tourism books? Well, first they all contradict one another in the details of heaven. Nobody seemed to notice this. Every single book speaks authoritatively of what heaven is about, but they all contradict one another. I mean that alone should make us doubt the whole genre, right?

But even more seriously, what they do, is they attempt to give us confidence in the existence of heaven when God tells us that confidence in the Bible, confidence in the resurrection of Jesus Christ is how we gain confidence in heaven. So these books then essentially nudge out our confidence in God and in His Word, and they replace it with confidence in the tales of little children. And even of people who clearly have no real understanding of the Bible. People who are heavily involved in the new age even.

Bonus fact. Did you know that one of these best-selling authors has completely revoked his story? The Boy Who Came Back from Heaven had sold more than a million copies before that boy admitted, he didn’t really come back from heaven at all. He had never been there. In fact, he and his father had fabricated the entire story. It was, in fact, a bunch of malarkey.

Finally, we come to Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. This is another book that sold well over 10 million copies and its sequels have accumulated millions and millions more. To understand that book, we need to be sure we go to the first edition and that’s kind of hard to find today. It’s in that very first edition that Young really tells us what her book is all about. Most of that introduction was scrubbed in every later edition.

But in the very first one, she tells about finding the book called God Calling. This book, God Calling, had been published in the 1930’s and it was this book that introduced her to the idea of Listeners, with a capital L, Listeners. These are people who would hear directly from God and then convey messages from God to other people. She was attracted to this. She decided to try it. So here’s what she said in her own words. She said, I knew that God communicated with me through the Bible, but I yearned for more. Increasingly, I wanted to hear what God had to say to me personally on a given day. I decided to listen to God with pen in hand, writing down whatever I believe He was saying.

Well, she did this, and she said that that became her most important spiritual discipline. It was that listening that helped her soar to this whole new level of spirituality. Now she was finally experiencing this higher kind of life. Those messages she received, that became Jesus Calling. And that became all her other books.

So what’s the problem with this? Well first, Young, she directly undermines the Bible in saying that the Bible’s not enough for her. Christians have long held that God’s Word is the final and perfect and sufficient revelation of God, yet she says, that wasn’t enough for me. She says, I longed for more. She wanted more than God has graciously given us. Well, that’s a problem. Not only that, but her messages from Jesus sound so, so different from His voice in the Bible. A sceptic might even say, you know, he sounds a whole lot less like a first-century Jewish man. He sounds a whole lot more like a 21st-century western woman.

As I said at the beginning, we’ve been blessed with some truly wonderful books in the Christian market, and I am very, very thankful, as are you, I know. Unfortunately, we’ve also been cursed with some truly awful ones. And so the point of this video is to encourage us all to exercise discernment, even when reading Christian books, and perhaps especially when reading Christian books. You know just because it’s published by a Christian publisher, just because it’s sold in a Christian book store, that does not mean that it’s good or that it’s reliable or that it’s consistent with scripture.

Christian, we need to know the Bible. We need to so know the truth of the Bible. We need to carefully evaluate every book we read, in light of its perfect and unchanging truths. A book is good only to the degree that it aligns with the perfect, infallible, inerrant, sufficient Word of God, the Bible.

[whetstonefires]

d gray man liveblog part 5! (part 1)(part 2)(part 3)(part 4)

Love the amount of personality Allen conveys by code-switching into different formality levels. the translators here are doing an excellent job conveying that, though i suspect the foul language there could have been legitimately punched up.

asserting that his oath to mana and the love that underlies it are his even though he can’t know that is...what makes Allen main character material i guess.

XD I want to ask when ‘being a total maniac with a personality whose internal contradictions are never entirely resolved’ became the shounen protagonist standard but i’m paging through mentally and it basically goes all the way back.

Ashita no Joe was like this. it’s always been like this. only the details change.

I will give Cross Marian .3 points for the possibility he predicted that offering Allen no mercy would inspire him to pull out his hardshell rage against the whole situation rather than crumpling under the weight.

stg allen walker is composed of 93% layered trauma like fine lacquerware and 4% mental invasion. the remaining 3% of his personality is what’s subject to contest. when XIV exceeds 7% encroachment is when shit is going to get real.

oh woo there is Politics afoot and Bookman is...actually intimidated by them, that scares me.

also he and Lavi keep conversing through thought bubbles and i can’t tell if we’re meant to understand they have a telepathic link or this is just an idiosyncratic method of indicating whispers.

lavaliere thinks allen is funny. or that komui’s attempts to reframe shit in allen’s favor are funny.

he’s not actually wrong that the XIVth can’t be trusted, but you want to insist he is wrong somehow because he’s already demonstrated that his standards for treatment of people who even might be compromised are inhumane as fuck.

i want to keep making Pope jokes but the recurring phrase ‘the central government’ just. it really does emphasize how much this organization is modeled on a modern Japanese concept of hierarchy rather than an early-modern European one.

...i am reminded that early European accounts of Tokugawa Japan recorded the shogun as the Emperor and the Emperor as the Pope.

labubibir just smirks when komui asks if his unilateral ‘we’ll tell everyone all about this in the morning’ decision has the pope’s imprimatur behind it.

srsly if we get to a twist that the current Pope is like. an animated corpse or a stuffed bear or a wooden statue or something run by a committee, i’m not even going to be shocked.

oh look it’s Link in that outrageous papal magic ninja getup. XD the role of Timcampi in this story is so weird. and great. he’s like. magic floating R2D2 stg, only if Luke threw R2 at Yoda’s head at some point.

...the point would be when Yoda actually explained about Vader before Vader could, but did it in the most assholish and unhelpful way possible

which you know i would believe would have happened.

Cross Marian it is so completely in character for you to turn up dead and thus useless at such a politically vital moment i almost don’t believe you’ve actually been killed.

only the fact that you actually shared significant information last night makes it seem reasonably likely this is not a fake death.

the disappearing body is a good trick. the guards sleeping and not dead is suggestive either way.

i like the juxtaposition that made it look link Link was blowing shit up by playing chess. (instead it is the marginally less ridiculous ‘playing chess at the site of a battle while ignoring the fighting’)

are those things even akuma? they’re fighting them in a graveyard and either the fight is non-serious enough or the chess is important enough that Miranda’s multi-tasking...

if she needs to use reverse on the board then presumably it...got spilled? but then they could just memorize the positions and let her let it go...

lol yeah okay allen scold the monster for its lack of manners toward a lady.

lmaoooo okay the chess was to win an Innocence-infused ring back from the ghost of its chess-master previous owner! normal duties have resumed in spite of the massive loss of personnel and allen’s identity issues, and apparently Link is now contributing to team efforts. this won’t divide his loyalties at all of course.

the chessboard didn’t decay with the ghost, so i still don’t know what Miranda was reversing time on it for.

+1 sassy old lady.

wow they’re actually building Order operations around use of the Ark, which only Allen can pilot. i guess anyone can use the doors he’s established so once he’s got a solid network running they can axe him but....

...Miranda it is rude to crush on a priest, though he has very pretty hair. (i mean, i’m assuming he’s catholic, since he’s with the Order, which works for the Pope. all indications really are that England is a catholic country in this universe.)

...it’s also a country where the Noahs are installed at high levels of government I don’t understand how no one in the Order has noticed that.

‘even if only for the moment’ ffffffffs link shut the fuck up.

...if anyone is inexplicably reading this without familiarity with the media property involved and picturing the hero from Legend of Zelda when i yell at link, please continue doing that, it’s basically correct except for being wrong in almost every particular.

oh good grief. So, they actually agreed with me about ‘can’t get rid of Allen’ for all the reasons i stated! they just announced to everyone he knows that they have an ongoing mission to kill him if he goes rogue.

that’s entirely reasonable, really, though depressing, but they had to be so viciously dehumanizing about getting there! wtf. “our very own pet noah” imma wring your throat.

...ten years has made Miranda Lott so much more relatable but never more than in this moment where she’s reminding herself she’s the only actual adult in this group.

also really feeling Allen’s “I don’t understand anything, but time keeps moving on.”

Holy shit the guy who knew Kanda when he was a small person now counts as foreshadowing of horrible things to come.

...how long have they left the bloodstained shattered window unrepaired so Rebeliel can sit here staring at it?

i don’t know whether i’m more focused on how absurd it is that this man does fancy baking (19th century! powerful! man!) or how terrifying it is that he’s offering Allen a slice of cake.

lmao apparently Reever is not a typical example of his role, probably because Komui isn’t. in fact, i don’t think i previously realized the ‘section’ he’s ‘chief’ of is the hq science section, because Komui acts like he’s Head of Mad Science and leaves Reever to be his chief minion.

also, this poor woman. her brother got horribly murdered working with these people and it traumatized them and now they’re treating her as a replacement goldfish because she looks just like him. that’s messed up on so many levels, though presumably she’s at least moderately okay with being misgendered or she’d dress differently. it being the 19th century and all.

...also i can’t tell if she’s meant to be a very pale black woman or if hoshino just did a ‘fat person’ character design around racist caricature visual tropes, but she’s got the blackface lip outline and a dreadlock ponytail, so welp.

wow Cross’ disappearance just gets more mysterious even as the evidence of his death mounts.

oh never mind Lebubble says it was definitely his bosses but he’s concerned because he was left out of the loop.

hmm okay that’s two women getting instant crushes on pretty boys and two relatively minor cases of sexual harassment in three chapters, all four times intended as humor, do not like this trend.

hmm now a trans woman being used as a visual gag. i’ve seen worse uses of this trope, but ugh.

the Ganimard expy is funny, tho. the amount of personality conveyed in a few pages is reliably high.

...i feel like he’s pointedly not given his prisoners any changes of clothes in order to maintain the illusion that it makes some kind of sense for there to be an entire gang of phantom thief that gets caught every single time.

that doesn’t actually explain why they’re all still wearing the outrageous hat.

aaaaand back to allen’s identity crisis.

wow, on the one hand cross is pressuring him from beyond the grave not to rely on Mana’s memory because that’s not his real self, but on the other hand he has to seriously consider that his recent lapses in the formality adopted in imitation of Mana were even less himself and in fact the result of a hostile alien consciousness breaking through.

haha this heist scenario is so exactly like a Magic Kaito one I’m guessing that’s a deliberate allusion and not just shared Phantom Thief tropes. (Though how do you tell in a genre like this, Ganimard-Nakamori-Galmar lmao.)

...the thematic element of speech-mode equating identity is really nicely used but lmao sticking out the tongue has sufficiently different connotation in Japan to make this possession sequence weirder than intended. which was already pretty weird.

daaaaamn link’s papal ninja moves are finally seeing some use. also way to signal your real identity bodysnatcher kid, allen’s like sixteen, an adult would definitely not call him niichan.

wow you can even use his papal ninja paper magic! somehow! that is a really high-tier bodysnatching skill. also lol of course kanda can recognize a papal ninja crow by skillset.

i am a huge fan of allen’s capacity for headgames.

oh my goodness is he seriously donating all the money from his thefts to an orphanage? specifically the orphanage where he lives?

and again with the boob grab.

...allen walker weeping that he’s bleeding is quite the hilarious sight but come to think of it if he can’t hold off one random crybaby bodysnatching kid his odds against XIV don’t look that hot, eh?

oh no evil undead nun.

oh that’s a great idea, ask komui for advice about what to do in the situation that an exorcist and his guardians are rejecting summary kidnapping. it’s not like he devoted his entire life to regaining contact with his sister after the Order kidnapped her.

oh no it’s another hideous potbellied angel monster and they’ve figured out how to jam allen’s curse radar. that curse was a present from his dad you bastards!

...mana was a really weird person.

you know link, i’m pretty sure from you that was protectiveness.

oh! a twist! the nun is evil without being an undead monster!

meanwhile the nice nun and all the orphans have been turned into puppets.

daaaaamn the Papal Ninja Paper Magic is good stuff! why don’t they teach it to more of their staff, maybe they wouldn’t have such high turnover.

...Kanda just referred to Noise Marie as ‘she’ but I’m pretty sure that’s a translation error based on the fact that his surname is ‘Marie’ and ‘Noise’ sounds like a descriptor based on his hearing-based power rather than a first name.

it would frankly be awesome if Noise Marie were a woman, but considering the only two not-conventionally-boobalicious and also not elderly female characters we’ve had were minor visual gags (plus i guess Miranda during her initial nervous breakdown), and that hoshino was genuinely startled people thought Jasdero was a woman, presumably because of the lack of visible breasts, i reallllllllly think she would be unlikely to design a huge bald muscle woman, let alone treat her with this much casual respect, let alone while writing her as gay.

regardless, if Noise Marie actually dies imma be so mad. not that me being mad has had a perceptible affect on the death rate--though Kanda and Krory did survive the Ark Battle Arc so maybe i do have power. or rather we collectively as readers do.

hah he cut his own fingers off with wire, badass.

allen’s talent for inspiring compassion claims another victim in Bodysnatcher Timothy and holy cow Emilia The Nice Middle Class Girl is here with a handgun to menace the giant monsters, nice.

i mean, they’re not very menaced, but she’s shooting them anyway, because fuck you.

...holy shit that’s a powerful ability. the fact that it leaves his real body vulnerable is kind of a major drawback even with good teammates, but wow. also for some reason his Innocence has its own consciousness???

which can pilot his body for him while he’s walkabout, how helpful!

Bonne the the translady prison boss has joined the count of girls who see a cute guy and get an instant crush recently, but for some reason she’s really into Reever? I mean, he’s good-looking, sure, but he’s not one of The Pretty Boys.

Just realized that part of what’s vibing so weird is, this is a shounen series, but the specific way it juxtaposes elements of extreme shittiness with elements of brilliant concept and execution is more shoujo in style.

sameface isn’t normally a big issue in this series but Link-with-his-bangs-blown-back looks confusingly similar to Timothy’s Innocence Spirit, whom Timothy identified as his adult self with startling ease.

kneeling there out of options thinking you’re going to die and you dedicate your last thought to revellier, link? really??? that’s extremely sad. did he actually do anything to earn your loyalty or is this just brainwashing?

I feel like last time through I failed to absorb the political implications of the Order having managed to put together agents who can stop a Level 3 akuma with their hands and then eat it. with their hands. i think they’ve been spliced with akuma, because ‘nothing human can get through this barrier.’

Lenalee going one-v-one on a Level 3 was a nigh-self-destruct big deal a couple of months ago. This isn’t just sloppily managed shounen power creep this is the obsolescence of the excorcists.

which in theory would be a good thing, but the way these guys are made has to be awful and our main characters were already disposable enough in the eyes of their masters.

At least Allen’s getting Power Creep too! New tactic: drop sword. Stab enemy in the back with it while standing in front of them because it’s still part of your body somehow.

oh good grief allen you saw what happened to tiki myk! how did you not see this coming. ughhhhhhh. i know why. your current life plan is to Denial so damn hard the universe breaks your way. this is your god letting you know she’s not going to indulge that touching optimism.

i think it shocked me the first time, but i’m not sure anymore.

yeah, deeply counter-productive course of action.

...i’m now used to the way XIV uses Allen’s face but the akuma seeing him as a flaming skeleton monster i had forgotten about. wut?

with kanda it’s not a question of did he count on allen being able to dodge or did he not care if he stabbed him too, it’s both.

the cognitive dissonance of the story trying to treat Timothy joining the Order as a Good End to this episode, the same way it did back in early days when they recruited Miranda, when the prevailing atmosphere of the story has become one of institutional cruelty and corruption wherein the Order is a hellish slave-taking death trap that eats its people alive is just...fucking me up big time.

am i actually expected to accept the content here at face value?

...i mean, it’s a good end in that our heroes are spared having to forcibly kidnap him into indenture, but Emilia joining to look after him is just. It’s not funny or heartwarming or empowering.

we’ve recently gone over how komui doesn’t want lenalee to see his joining the Order for her as self-sacrifice even though it was, and also how much it fucks him up being accountable for how evil this organization is.

and not to be awful but lenalee’s his actual family and actually sweet, whereas timothy is a horrid brat with a habit of sexually harassing Emilia.

And that was before the war reached a point where we’re seeing 90% mortality.

don’t do this emilia. nooooooope.

on the upside, the nice nun and all the children survived somehow!

allen’s relationship with Link is weird.

i wonder if i was meant to be disturbed by how similar Mana’s body language was to the Earl’s for a second there?

okay so can we talk about how in this moment of extreme drama where Allen has sat up in bed possessed by evil, timcampi (who never communicates except via body language and is a floating orb) gets a speech bubble containing a picture of a toilet?

because it was really important to let the readers know that the little golem theorized that Allen needed to have a pee, in between cutting from the unsettling Symbolic Dream to the terrifying murder face.

and the thing is, it even kind of was! it contributes to the pace of the whole scene, it reminds us that timcampi is a conscious being with opinions even if he can’t communicate much, and is witnessing this incident. and yet. toilet.

the entire storytelling style of D. Gray Man revolves around creating cognitive dissonance and it does not suit my brain.

...i honestly don’t know what to think about Link being uncomfortable sharing a room with Lenalee flashing that much thigh, but i know i like him better for the fact that he let her drive him out of his own room by falling asleep on his bed, and just stood around in the hall like a chump waiting for her to finish her nap.

and he escalates from threatening allen with a formal complaint to threatening to tell komui he’s alone in a room with lenalee lmao.

he really is fitting right in.

oh hey. it wasn’t just timcampi who saw.

yes okay thanks for the tyki myk update good to know there are long-term consequences for running a noah through with Crown Clown.

aaaand North American Boobs Lady didn’t seem half this menacing last time she came up, but now she’s flanked by Hungry Hands Dude and his partner and komui is looking freaked out.

he does that a lot lately.

[zippdementia]

Part 89 Alignment May Vary: The Coming of the Three

The creature that leans forward to stare at you, Milosh, in the confines of your cell at first glance appears to be a skeletal Dragonborn, wearing tattered robes the color of midnight over blood red armor. But the more you stare the more you find you can only barely make sense of its visage, for the bleached skull of the Dragonborn is erupting from the frame of a young woman, her own body and face pushed aside by the much bulkier skeletal shape bursting from it. Yet even so, her flesh is still intact and she is still somehow alive. Her one remaining eye, pushed up high on the Dragonborn's right cheek, swivels in its swollen socket to stare at you, and when the creature speaks, it is with two voices...

The speech can be heard here. Too scared to listen? Basically, Nazragul reveals that he planned for a massive attack against Vraath Keep, to force Karina to flee to Waterdeep, to seek help from the Alliance. But Nazragul had his agents in Waterdeep to change the destination of her teleport to reroute anyone who attempts to use it to head to Maakengorge instead, to end up in these containers, just as Milosh has. He is full of ideas of grandeur and ruling the world... and it seems like he might actually achieve this. The Yuan Ti are on his side, led by Imoaza’s son, Xaxus (who she is shocked to hear is still alive), as their supreme ruler, and taking the epithet “The Serpent Who Will Devour the World.” Yuan Ti swarm the Maakengorge, checking the odd machines here, somewhat reminiscent of those the Surveyor used to keep his body in hibernation beneath the Yuan Ti temple at the Fane, which the players encountered during the end of the Red Hand campaign.

Imoaza, Milosh, and Ruz are in a bad spot. Trapped by Nazragul, they spend days here, having their essence drained slowly to feed some unknown beast. It is a nightmare spent adrift in a fever like state, the players aware but not able to form thoughts or conclusions about their predicament, just an awareness and a dread and a growing exhaustion. After an unknown amount of time later spent in this state, they realize that the containers around them are filling up rapidly and a dim realization dawns that Nazragul’s plan must be in full effect: the siege of Vraath Keep is underway and the fleeing survivors are ending up not safe in Waterdeep as they planned but here, to be trapped and drained.

Milosh is the only one with a plan during this time. He forces his systems to shut down, seeming to put him in a state of death. Several times he does this, to try and trick his handlers into releasing him, but each time, they send a magical surge into him, reviving him painfully. Eventually, they stop caring. However, this does have one effect. It causes some discussion among the Yuan Ti fanatics serving here, and through their discussion one in particular finds them, the Yuan Ti named Hecate.

For those who do not recall, for it has been a little bit since she has made an appearance, Hecate is Imoaza’s daughter, a Yuan Ti tasked with finding her and killing her, but who died during her mission and refound the party when they visited Hell. Since then, she resumed her mission, but ultimately declared that her mother was stronger than her and joined her side, to support her however Imoaza decided. The party lost her after returning to Faerun, and there was evidence she had been taken (or possibly rejoined) the Yuan TI. Now, she makes an appearance here, in the Maakengorge, tending to the trapped “guests.” When she finds Milosh, she tries to tell him something, something about escape, and then she announces that “this one is dead,” and releases him, emptying his tank so that the floor is dropped out beneath him and he falls into darkness.

Slide

For a long time, Milosh falls. When he lands, he has fallen so far that he expects to be broken, shattered, ground to pulp by the combined forces of gravity and an unyielding floor. But instead he strikes something that is wet and almost soft. It isn’t water: he doesn’t penetrate its surface. He bounces once and then hits again and sinks slightly. He is just regaining his footing when there is a shout and a sound of something else striking the odd ground not far off. Milosh activates his system’s darkvision, burning through a spell slot to do so, and spots the crumpled form of Ruz, her current female form pushing herself up with an appreciative utterance of “ick” as she notes the strange, gooey floor. Then she gasps, as she sees something dark and huge move underneath the floor’s partially opaque surface. 

This scene is played partially for horror and partially for difficulty. Basically, the floor is a massive living slime, which is used to dispose of the dead bodies that have been fully drained in the tanks above, a living trash compactor. It has shark like forms inside of it, which attack by emerging from the ooze and trying to bite the players. It also can wrap pseudopods around a player and try to pull them under. Actually, the combat begins with Imoaza already submerged and suffocating, taking acid damage each round as she is slowly digested alive.

Meanwhile, adding to the disturbing nature of the scene, bodies continue to fall from high in the ceiling, landing to splatter in front of the players and then be absorbed by the ooze. Some they recognize: the smith from Vraath keep who was crafting Milosh a new face to replace his dragon-fire scarred one; a changeling Ruz befriended; a cook who made Imoaza sugar cookies at Vraath Keep; an ice barbarian who drank with Imoaza by the fire the night after their success in the iceberg,

Adding to the difficulty here is two key factors: one, magic is restricted. Much of it is still available for use, but spells that would get them away from the floor, like fly and misty step, seem to be barred. Secondly, there is no way out of this room. They must fight. The more they do, the more the gigantic slime begins to morph its attacks, creating craters underneath the PC’s feet to try and drop them prone inside of it, then close over the top of them to trap them. Ruz ends up fighting some minor simulacrums the ooze creates, which oddly resemble characters our players know from the past: a female Tiefling, a winged man, a halfling with a lute. The more they fight back and gain ground, the more the floor begins to recede, diminishing every 40 hit points or so until the stone floor beneath it is actually visible. Probably the most dire moment comes when Imoaza is recaptured by the Ooze and cannot manage to succeed on any break out attempt. She comes very close to being disintegrated when Ruz powers up a Chromatic Orb using a high level spell slot and finally finishes off the ooze.

As the slime finally whittles away to nothing, its last bit of essence draining down a small grate in the floor, a deep rumbling voice echoes out across the now empty room:

“I just wanted to sliiiiiiiide...”

This is actually a big moment for two of our players, who played Karina and Abenthy respectively back during our Haggemoth campaign, when they met a joke character, a little talking slime ball named “Lee.” Lee became a group favorite, a bit of a mascot for the adventure, though he was only in the game shortly. Abenthy’s player in particular gets emotional when he realizes this is the fate of that slime, to have been transformed by Nazragul’s magic and now defeated by the later party. We actually have to take a small break for him to collect himself and for the group to process this twist. Which is awesome! As a DM, you try your best to create characters that are memorable and beloved, but it requires the PCs to buy in to that and to latch onto the hooks set out for them. I think it is a testament to the power of tabletop RPGs that groups can imagine and fall in love with characters without ever needing to see them or hear them, without the assistance of visuals or special effects or even painstakingly planned out words in a novel, they can mourn the loss of such characters. That says something about the power of imagination and the importance of fostering that imagination. Play RPGS. They are good for the brain; for the soul.

The Coming of the One

The players find a small tunnel, little more than a ventilation passage, that they follow out of the slime room and, after a time, up into a massive corridor that leads to a truly gigantic pair of doors. Beyond giant sized, the doors stand 60 feet tall, behemoths blocking sight of what lay beyond. Leading up to them is a hallway from the ceiling of which hangs strange devices filled with a greenish liquid, tubes snaking out of the ceiling to feed the devices, and then more tubes leading away to syphon the liquid through holes in the stone walls, past the doors.

“It’s the Weave,” Imoaza says. “It’s siphoning the Weave out of the living creatures in the tanks above us.”

“For what purpose?” Ruz asks.

“Nothing good,” says Milosh. “Come, let us finish this.”

And in answer, a voice rumbles through the hallway, a familiar, awful voice. The voice of Nazragul: “Yes... come! It is time for you to witness the beginning of a new world.”

And with this pronouncement, the doors begin to open...

Beyond the doors lies a room that is disturbingly familiar to the players of Imoaza and Milosh, though not to their characters. It is a huge stone balcony which overlooks the Maakengorge, opening out onto empty air. The players have been here before, back when they tried to stop Lady Dagger during the Red Hand Quest, a mission that ended with them possessed with the power of Nazragul. Some things are different. Rising out of the Maakengorge is a gigantic beast which seems to be asleep, and in some stage of fetal growth, with its skin still forming over bulging, pulsating muscles. It stirs in its sleep, its closed eyes (the size of horses), stirring under its scaly lids. The beast is wrapped up in, and suspended by, the many tubes from the prior hallway. Otherwise, most of it still hangs into the Maakengorge, beyond their sight.

Also here is an altar and, before it, a throne made of stone. On the throne sits the Jade/Nazragul hybrid, the powerful Lich leader of the undead and Yuan Ti forces attacking Vraath Keep. And on the altar, tied to it, lies Karina.

Of course, Nazragul isn’t going to hand over Karina. S/he puts up a barrier over the entrance to the altar balcony, a prismatic wall. And emerging from the shadows of the pillars in the hallway strides the black armored Death Knight that they faced in the woods, briefly. The figure strides forward and attacks the party viciously. They know they cannot probably defeat him conventionally, especially with Nazragul interfering with counterspells to block their most powerful magics, but then this is a party built on non-conventional methods of fighting. This is showcased when Ruze uses Telekinesis to lift the Death Knight and slam him into the prismatic wall, driving him against it like holding a blade to a grindstone. His armor slowly begins to heat with the burn of magic and his helmet cracks and falls away from his face revealing...

No, Karina said softly from the altar, tears in her eyes. Nazragul simply laughed as the visage of a Tiefling was revealed from beneath the helmet. A strange, four eyed face, stared balefully out at them all, his eyes distant and cloudy. “Rise, Verrick,” Nazragul said. “Finish them, or let them finish you. It makes no difference to me. Either will break this woman’s heart and her hopes.”  

Indeed, we now know what became of the last member of the adventuring party sent out to this valley so long ago. Verrick has spent his time in thrall to the power of Nazragul, an unwilling slave to Nazragul’s will. And now he gets up, badly damaged from his run in with the prismatic wall, and with the last of his energy, throws his blade like a meteor at Ruze, blasting the changeling backwards and knocking her out. The explosion ripples through the hallway, also catching Imoaza and Milosh in its blast. Imoaza enters her Icy Tomb of Leviticus, an icy shield that surrounds her when she takes massive damage, protecting her. Milosh, given no such protection, runs and hides amidst the pillars, considering his next move. Verrick’s laboured breathing belies how close he is to falling, but before any further actions can be taken, Nazragul speaks:

"Enough. It is time.”

Nazragul stands, then, and holds his hands out. “He is coming.”  He points at the altar. “He is coming for you.”

Milosh watches from the shadows as the air splits in front of Nazragul, like skin splitting. Imoaza’s icy tomb breaks and shatters and she stumbles out to see a familiar black blade pushing through the split.

“Heya kids,” the original Blackrazor says in its gruff voice. “Didja miss me?”

Imoaza knows the blade. Nazragul grabs it and uses it to slice open the air again, this time cutting into another realm, another space. Imoaza knows the blade, she knows its powers, but she does not know the white man who reaches a hand out from this new rift to grip it. He emerges from the rift in time and space and stands in front of them all, his visage haughty and proud, his eyes full of judgement. Two wings he has: one white, and one black. Otherwise, he is beautiful, angelic even. He radiates power and purpose. From her place on the altar, Karina whispers his name: “Abenthy.”

“Yes,” Nazragul says. “The three are gathered now. You will join us, sister, and we shall rule as three!”

“Not three,” Abenthy says, his voice calm as a lake without wind. “One.”

And with that, he drives Blackrazor, who laughs, into the chest of Nazragul.

Nazragul writhes on the end of Abenthy’s blade but for a moment, before the dragonborn lich seems to be pulled from Jade’s body like the tearing of a scab, leaving the young woman’s body to fall, seemingly lifeless, to the ground. Then many things happen at once.

First, Daymos appears, in his Quasit form, hovering above the party where he’s been lurking for some time, invisible. He cries out in anguish and dives towards Jade’s body, calling out for his sister to come back from the brink of death. She does not respond.

Abenthy breahes heavily as Nazragul’s essence is pulled through Blackrazor into him, the soul of the ancient lich infusing his angelic body with phenomenal power. Then Abenthy turns his gaze to Karina. Verrick abandons the fight with Imoaza and Milosh and runs towards the altar, yelling at Abenthy to stop, knowing what he is about to do.

Karina stares up at her old comrade, Abenthy, and whispers to him: “There is still time. You can still choose a different path.”

“No,” Abenthy says. “That time passed, long ago.”

Then he drives Blackrazor into Karina’s heart.

The coming of Abenthy signifies the beginning of the end of our long campaign. The final chapter begins with his arrival. He had long ago decided that he needed to reshape the world to make it a better place, and now he has the power to do so. Within him, three souls reside: his own, that of Karina, and that of Nazragul. This gives him incredible power, the power to use Blackrazor at its highest level to summon the Abyss itself. But the first thing he does is use his power to awaken the massive beast hanging above him, the world ending Tarasque, who raises the lid of one insanely huge eye and then roars a challenge to the world itself.

When the Tarasque tears itself free of the tubes holding it, it also rips out the foundations of the Maakengorge temple and the whole thing begins to collapse around the PCs. Rushing towards them out of the temple’s recesses comes a tall, shapely human who transforms as he runs into their dragon friend, Argent. However, before he can reach them, the Tarasque stretches out a long arm and seizes the dragon in a mighty fist.

The Wish

Ruze was having a dream, a dream of Esheballa. It was oddly pleasant. The demon goddess was not a creature of power toying with him in this dream, but rather a young girl: innocent, lovely, and uncharacteristically bashful. Together they lay upon a bed of soft grass, half naked, and Esheballa reached out a hand to caress Ruze’s cheek and smiled at her. “Care for our daughter,” she said. 

And then Ruze took a sudden gasping breath and felt pain all throughout her body. Not enough that she could not stand, but enough to remind her where she was and what had happened. Worse seemed to have happened in the brief time she’d been unconscious. The temple was falling apart around them, the great beast had awoken, and it had Argent in its grip. There was no escape. Unless... 

Ruze thought back on a promise she had made to herself when she escaped the Abyss. Never again would she place herself in danger for another. Never again would she care about another. She would survive at all costs. She looked around now, saw Verrick clutching himself and sobbing, the Death Knight oddly disturbing in his show of grief. Imoaza was staring blankly at the altar where an angelic  figure was cutting through the air with a black sword, then disappearing into the rift it made. MIlosh was rushing towards Argent, powering up his gun arm, but it was a futile effort. He could not move that great beast that held the dragon.

Ruze saw all this and thought as well on the things he did not see: the people coming awake in the containers high above them. Orcaheart and the natives, who had followed them unwittingly to this doom. Refugees from Vraath Keep, caught by Nazragul’s trick and used to feed the beast in front of them. And his own people: changelings who had been caught up in a war between other creatures, their rare race already facing extinction, now about to be demolished in the dozens under the weight of all this stone. And with them, his daughter, Hazelwood.

And Ruze made her decision.

Ruze casts Wish. She casts it at its greatest capacity, wishing for all the people trapped here, including Verrick, Argent, and his companions, to be brought somewhere safe. The incredible range and breadth of the spell is far too powerful for Ruze to use safely. It demolishes her. But she knew it would. She gives herself as a sacrifice so that the others can live. It is an incredible end to her arc, a final piece of character growth in which she finally resolves the fears and paranoia that were left on her by her many years in the Abyss.

The party appears in Waterdeep, along with all the survivors of the tribal village and Vraath Keep. Daymos is there, cradling Jade’s body in his tiny form. Verrick is there, still sobbing. Imoaza is there, processing silently what she has witnessed. Argent is there, snapping his jaws at the Tarasque’s claws... but the Tarasque is no longer there. He was left behind in the temple. Hazelwood is there, not knowing how she was saved. Milosh is there... and he knows. He cries out a wailing keen to the skies and curses as his breath runs out. Inconsolable, he pounds his fist again and again into the stone pavement with such force that it eventually shatters. Then he simply kneels, overwhelmed by the sacrifice of Ruze, lost in his own failure to do what he literally waited milenia to do: stop the prophecy from coming true. He is literally and figuratively, a broken man now, with no purpose and nothing except the depths of his failure left to him.

Until next time...

[tdrcharmschool4]

Charm School Homework #5: Mama Always Said I was Original… - Critiques

Kushboo, Luna, Marina, Nikita, and Ophelia are nowhere to be found, but we’ve found some new characters asking for critiques. Let’s see how they did!

Kushboo

Hi! My name is Granny Panny and at 85 years, I’m Delhi’s oldest MILF. I think that means I am modern, incredible-looking & fabulous. I support LGBVAUD rights also. Now I want to share my beauty and happiness with the world so I’m looking for friends on The Facebook , Instant gram as well as Grinder. Please be my friend ? I will teach you how to do yoga and bake you cakes for being my friend. If you will be my friend we will be soo happy and I will never ever leave you. Il love you for ever and ever and ever don’t worry. Here are some photos of me to keep in your heart. I can send you many many more. Can I have your number ? I love you. 

Analyse: KUSH. BOO. STOP SNATCHING ME BALD LIKE THIS. THIS is a character, and there are so many directions I can see this going for the test, so I really look forward to see what you do with that! The age makeup reads well, and I think the accessories really help to play up the “old person who thinks she’s cool” kind of vibe (aka Toni). I wouldn’t be mad at the hair being even rattier, but all in all, I really like what you have here. The fact that you’ve already got the humor of the character down in writing bodes well for the acting in the test. I can’t wait to see the full look and how this character is realized for the acting challenge!

Harper: I think you’ve got a really good start here! I got a sense of who your character was from your picture and bio, but I wish you had taken it to a draggier place. While I liked your aging effects, this is still a drag assignment! Sometimes you will be tasked with impersonating someone who doesn’t wear much makeup, and it’s important to adjust the drag makeup to fit the character (neutral shades, softer blends, etc) rather than to eliminate it entirely. So instead of doing regular old lady makeup, try using neutral colors, playing around with a more droopy cut crease, and adding sagging lashes to give off an older vibe while still maintaining a drag aesthetic. I would also like to see you refine the character a bit more, because right now there’s nothing separating her from a standard grandma stereotype. What makes her unique? You have all the materials you need here to put together a great character, and I’m looking forward to seeing your submission!

Luna

Latoya Toyota, formerly known as MariCruz Dominguez, is your every day girl from the hood. Her favorite activities include having herpes and being disowned by her mom. She’s single and is not ready to mingle because because “ese puto vato  El Cris” cheated and she doesn’t fucking play all that, cris why’d you do that Rebeca is a worthless piece of shit I’m the better sister. But, the thing that makes Latoya different, isn’t her personality, or her good heart; it’s that she’s been dead for 15 years. She died in 2002 when she finally caught on with the whole chokers trend, expect she wasn’t the smartest so she didn’t really grasp the whole “it’s not supposed to choke you” thing. But this minor detail doesn’t stop Latoya; after Hell FINALLY got service, she now is a devoted YouTuber that focuses on vlogging, lifestyle, and creamy beauty. She says “ Ey putas we didn’t have no beauty shit in the 90’s I had my Tia Cruz teaching me how to do a smoky eye so don’t fuken come for me cause love trumps hate” hell doesn’t bother either, as she’s had “a burn” since 1996 from Raul so the burn doesn’t really matter at all. Her hobbies now include, cutting a bitch for fun, looking for famous people in hell to get a pic, and living in eternal damnation. You can find a link to her patron below because fuck dude like she JUST started YouTube and it’s already ad hell like what the fuck also lol ad hell get it cause she’s in um. Anyway SUSCRIBE and SMASH that like button down below putas

Analyse: The first few sentences of your description, I was like “OH NO DON’T PLAY THAT CARD,” but then we got to the “she’s been dead the whole time” twist, and I was drawn in. I think makeup-wise, you can do more to show that part of the character and make it ooky-spooky, but right now, if I didn’t have your description, the pictures would just read very “stereotypical chola character.” I think the YouTuber character is going to be great to take into the challenge, because it immediately conjures up a very specific kind of image and personality. Really my biggest critiques going forward for the acting are to make sure that the look itself reads what you want it to and to make sure the humor doesn’t rely solely on stereotypes. Latoya might be a character, but we want to see Luna’s sense of humor shine through. Good luck on the test!

Harper: Hi Adore Delano Latoya! So first off, I liked how much detail you put into your bio. Even though your slutty chola ghost character was a bit all over the place, I still understood who this character was and where she was coming from, and I think she’ll give you a lot of options to be entertaining in the test. I will encourage you to make sure that your jokes are not getting repetitive, though… try to find ways to make her funny on multiple levels. Being a ghost leaves a lot of room for real subtle humor (can’t pick stuff up, pop culture references from 2002, etc), and I hope you will capitalize on that! I would like you to kick the look up a few notches, including brow coverage. I think you were probably barely alive during 2002, and so I really hope you’ll do some research into the fashion trends because I am an old bitch who remembers Y2K! It’s such a fun era of horrible fashion so I really hope you will take advantage of that. Nice work!

Marina

This is Susan Johnson-Johnson. Her mother and father had the same last name, but her mother insisted on hyphenating it. She also claims that her father is related to Dwayne the Rock Johnson, which is a bald headed lie as her bloodline is whiter than cottage cheese. Susan claims a lot of outrageous things and most of these tall tales are meth and tobacco induced. Being an ex prostitute due to her failing business, she is no stranger to a good drug. However, she’s very connected to spirituality and has a dream of running a successful tarot card business, which is why she wears her headwraps. I hope you enjoy my original character!

Analyse: Hi, Marina! I see some of the makeup critiques you’ve gotten being applied here, so it’s great to see that growth. The headwrap and fan add to the look and give it a level of interest, but I think my main probably with this submission is that this story is just all over the place in no sort of cohesive way. I think part of your challenge going forward into the test for this week is to make sure that you have a fully thought out and realized character, because right now, I’m not entirely sure who she is. When you only have a few minutes of video for the challenge, you don’t have a lot of time to spend introducing the audience to your character, so we want to be able to get that right away from the look, mannerisms, and personality of the character. I think you’re headed in a good direction, but for the test, I want to see you kind of clean up those loose ends and really give us a fully thought-out character in your submission. Good luck!

Harper: Alright, so I really enjoyed your biography, but I think there was a bit of a mismatch between your character’s description and her appearance. Before I read your bio, I assume that you were a part of a royal Court or a princess or something. From your description I would almost imagine some kind of hippie druggie chic (side note: tobacco does not get you high so I don’t know if that part makes sense), an ornate fan and sequins doesn’t really read meth-head to me. I do like the headwrap, but I’d like to see you wear a wig with it rather than use it as a wig replacement. Lashes and nails always, even for homework assignments.  I think you have a good head start for a character, but really make sure that you are putting the details in place. As always, the deans are here to give you feedback as your brainstorm if you need it. 

Nikita

Ophelia

I may look scary but I’m really nice, I promise!!! Hi new friends, my name is Misery but everyone just calls me ‘Chip’! For the most part, I like to spend my time helping as many individuals as I possibly can and adventuring!! Believe it or not through, I wasn’t always the happy go-lucky creature you see today though :( My ancestors originally descended from a demon many eons ago. Based on this, for generations, my tribe was subject to ridicule and fear from people on the surface, just based on our appearance! Can you believe that?!?! Eventually, they took their society underground, taking to steal from and enslave denizens of the surface world. I grew up experiencing and witnessing so much pain and misery but I always thought 'things could be different than this!’ Eventually, because of the horrible atrocities they committed, I saw my friends and family BANISHED by an unforgiving god, while they gave me a second chance if you will at life by being made to live on the surface! I wandered for a years trying to fit in with society and find my purpose, until one day I encountered a group of adventurers said to have been passing from village to village, helping people wherever they went and from there, I knew that was my call-….. Whoops! Sorry, I saw a butterfly with a broken wing and I wanted to heal it!!! :D ANYWAY! From then on, I’ve just been travelling from town to town, spreading good cheer and helping people!!! Whenever, I get sad or upset, I just think of the second chance that my friends and family didn’t get… :) Byeeeeee!

Analyse: Remember when I said I was excited to see where your creativity led you in this week’s challenges??? Because THIS is why I was excited! I think you’ve got a super creative concept here with the demons-for-an-ancestor-but-I’m-not-mean-I’m-nice character, and there’s definitely some storyline and drama that can come from just that. I think part of the challenge for you will be making sure that the character doesn’t read as very one-note in the video challenge, and make sure that we’re not just getting the same joke or idea over and over. For the look, I would love to see it feminized a little more. I know your art is a lot more blurred in the expression of gender and you’re not going for female impersonation or hyperfemininity as much, but the issue I’m seeing with submissions is that they can often read more “man with face paint” than drag, and while TDR is very much a place to explore and grow in that, The Real World™ isn’t always so open, and so before you have people coming for you and saying “that’s not drag,” you want to shut their mouths with your polish, execution, and creativity. Good luck on the test, and I can’t wait to see what you do with this character!

Harper: I appreciate you for trying something ambitious, but I think you missed the mark of the assignment here. I warned you about relying too heavily on a visual character, and I think you feel into that trap this week. The look of the character is not the important part of this assignment, having a well developed character that you will be able to act with in the test is. Almost all of your biography is background information on your character’s family history rather than telling me who your character actually is. I think it’s great that you are putting thought into that stuff, but it’s all extraneous when I still don’t really get a sense of your character on a complex level. Since you decided to go down this road, I will really want you to drag it up and not rely on body paint to be your makeup. Right now the prosthetics are a bit sloppy, and if you are giong to wear them I’d really like to see them refined. You can use hot glue to change the texture, or even adding painted effects. You’ve got your work cutout for you this week, make it work!

[grayimperialcommander]

★RAVUS NOX FLEURET★ ☆→HC←☆ sleep, relationships (fluff), music, work, personality, sexuality, smell, fears, feelings on his arm, and past of waking realizing he has a magitek arm

(So I made this very ravus x reader but can imply with cannon characters too)

(Just admin thoughts at least..?) (..Tried to name as much as I can..)

•••••same height as gladiolus at the regalia scene. 6ft 6

•••••use to being alone romantically, not accustomed to courting since before annexation. Being a teenager the last time he ever courted. Has ALOT on his plate as a high commander.

••••••clueless (almost innocent) (very tsundere though as well as proper and noble)

•••••••"organized mess" ravus hires maids since he is a high commander, (married to his work, cant be bothered to clean) work consisting of: traveling to other niflheim nations that was conquered, staying up all hours of the night reading classified documents of warfare that he would test out by fighting (training)/ classified information on citizens or whatever it may be, documents on citizens; crime; missions; disappearances; whatever else minor things he is tasked by iodolas himself, and recruit training/sparing with other high ranking niffs in the army (aranea, loqui, versatile etc) doesn’t hardly eat as he gets quite lost in his work (forgets to eat), sometimes not aware he is spoken to even. Easily lost in his own thoughts. Sometimes if a flashback comes to his mind in those moments his face may show a hint of his feelings at that moment, whether good or quite saddening, if he notices snapping back to harsh reality he returns to stoic

••••••he often smirks or half smirks, a rare smile on occasion even

••••••would be rude at first, you have to establish yourself as a equal rather him being above you for him to accept you. He would want someone who is capable of handling themselves as well as him and his attitude. However, he won’t be extremely mean because he is no “monster,” rather a gentleman, you would only assume him to hate you at first meet by his stares or sighs or abrubtly walking away. He WON’T make you cry.

••••••you may have to be able to laugh at yourself at times if he playfully (yet serious faced) teases you. As he is able to as well handle being teased about himself.

You: “You are so hot headed ravus..”

Him: “and you are almost as dense as you are beautiful” (“I’m in love with someone as utterly insane yet gorgeous as you!” “IM NOT INSANE” “I said I’m in love with you as well as gorgeous and you ignored such except insane,”- I got that from a movie 😅) ~of course he wouldn’t mean any of the insults, often a compliment is within his statements and flash a small smirk at you as well, playfully yet evily. Dont mean any harm.

•••••if he likes someone he would ignore the feelings themselves, possibly not understanding them (most likely clueless), although would wish to talk with you about anything but if he has nothing to say he would be silent, becoming increasingly annoyed and stressed out (possibly angry at himself) but is so much happier in your company (you might misunderstand his facial expressions)

••••••he wouldn’t initiate first (kisses, the relationship, etc) unless you say you like him.. But he must feel its for the correct reasons. Being a prince 12 years ago, rising to his rank today, he needs to feel you are genuine about himself. Most being unkind the past 12 years, trust is hard to be gained. After being told he is liked by someone so dear to him, he would stiffen and stare in thoughtful silence, not realizing he is even staring and once he notices, he shakes his head abruptly breaking eye contact. Which often his actions are misunderstood, thus this may start a fight, you feeling as if he dont want you at all. But in all truth, he would destroy himself to protect you at all costs with every breath he takes.

••••••if chased for wrong reasons he might coldly walk around you with a annoyed sigh mumbling ‘he has no time for this’

••••••he might be pansexual, finding himself attracted to someone’s mind rather looks

••••••smells of sylleblossoms and some sort of a expensive cologne

••••••he is agressive and passionate (he been in niflheim for 12 years.. this man is filled with hatred HE WILL BE ROUGH) yet he tries hard to be soft for your sake.. Making many small efforts at first to let you know he truly genuinely cares. Asking if “he may” before any kiss, or abruptly pushing you against a wall kissing deeply yet softly. Yet… Hesitantly…Slowly becoming more aggressive and passionate. Perhaps hungry for good, VERY loving, attention..but he would never say so, he may not have realized how alone he was. Or even what happiness even was anymore till around you.

••••••ravus may not have any sort of normal idea on dates (awkward ravus), but he DAMN SURE WON’T ASK ARDYN, LOQUI, ARANEA, OR LUNA ON WHAT TO DO. He is very private, and as well independent. Expect him to dress up (much like ignis) taking you to a fancy restaurant, somewhere with fire works his hand ALWAYS placed between your lower shoulder blades ever so softly. Possibly a ball just so he may dance. Perhaps a walk. He would not settle for less. You are that important.

••••••enjoys his space

••••••he is afraid of fire.. After the events of tenebrae and lucii (he also somewhat fears the ring of the lucii when luna asked him to take it on her behalf abruptly declining)

•••••• loves fruits, deserts of any sorts, drinks too if he wished to replace tea. And enjoys wine or a rum of some sort but not too particular on drinks as long as its not a beer or something atrocious. Mixed drinks do quite fine.

••••••huge fan of classical because it calms him. The sounds so beautiful to him.

••••••loves the smell of coffee but rather not drink TOO MUCH

••••••fears loosing ones deemed important

••••••possesive

•••••• extravagant

••••••hard to know how he feels

••••••(My step dad fell years ago and has a bar plate in his wrist, no longer able to use his wrist he feels its robotic, with this in consideration.. And insight.. I’ll make random head cannons)

-is in never ending pain.. But hates to be looked as weak and doesn’t take anything for it in fear to depend on something (that was kind of two because he wouldn’t want to depend on people either…)

-wishes niflheim scientists never existed/just cut off his arm instead

-having magitek whole LEFT side outside screwed to his bone and within his body, magitek weapons used with deamons is why only half was deamonised and has super strength

-high pain tolerance level. Would never wish it on others the pain he endures.. As a war commander he may get harmed..but has no care if so..

-has nightmares about sylva’s death and death of the people in tenebrae

-talks in his sleep about things that concern him

-hard to sleep with the metal has to sleep on the right, wake up often if his right side goes numb..

••••••Ravus was operated on. Niflheim wanted a human expierament. What better than a soldier of theirs in the highest rank, a commander. They made weapons out of the deamons…

Ravus was their test subject for a few months.. His hair grew out.. Coming to.. he saw he looked different. A gauze in his mouth so he didnt bite his tongue while he was out, he knew it was him, but he looked different, his once blue eyes now heterchromia, one eye was now purple. His left side blackened vains from the tubes injected in him with deamons and scars from the burn.. Scars of past wounds on his back and torso being in the army since 16. Ravus then saw he had metal and his skin irritated a screw placed to his shoulder bones which rubbed as he moved. He winced, narrowing his eyes disgusted. ‘What have they done to ME’ now realizing that his hopes to be king and destroy niflheim are lost.. He yelled but his good arm locked behind him to the wall all he was able to do was look in the mirror at the weapon he became for niflheim his mothers murderer. Soon to be his last family relative, lunafreya..niflheim will want her dead.. He has to get out…. Ravus fought the nurses but often they sedated him with other soldiers aid to hold him down. He then knew he had to accept his change if he hoped to keep luna safe… his changes a reminder of the rejection causing more anger.. he thought possibly he could bring niflheims fall when the time is right, the ashes permienting the air. Only then he would rest in peace.

[comm4000]

Ransom, Rugs, and Rules: How Bowling in The Big Lebowski Embodies Social Issues and Perpetuates Gender Roles

By Emmie Madison

9 April 2017

“It’s a foot foul, Larry! Mark an X on it!” Arguably one of the most quoted and quotable movies of all time, The Big Lebowski was released in 1998 by Joel and Ethan Coen, the directing duo of brothers commonly referred to as the Coen Brothers. Now highly regarded as a cult classic that has experienced lasting success well into the twenty-first century, the Coen Brother’s film experienced little initial success in the theaters due to an elaborate plot that is not easy to follow and an ambiguous and often varying genre throughout. This could also be due to the astounding success of the Coen Brother’s previous film, Fargo, that earned seven Academy Award nominations and won two. Following the life of main character Jeffrey Lebowski, who is referred to exclusively as The Dude, Jeff Bridges brings to life a White Russian drinking, laidback bowler who quickly becomes entangled in a dramatic, twisted plot of bowling, rugs, and missing toes.

Set during the presidency of George H. W. Bush, the plot of the movie takes many twists and turns that are difficult to comprehend on the first viewing. At its base, the movie portrays a case of mistaken identity, when The Dude’s most prized possession, a rug that really tied the room together, gets peed on and must be replaced. The culprits were initially trying to extort The Big Lebowski, a pseudo rich businessman also by the name Jeffrey Lebowski. The Dude finds his namesake and, after a rude encounter, helps himself to one of the many rugs decorating The Big Lebowski’s mansion. From there, the plot escalates quickly as The Big Lebowski is forced into delivering the ransom to the alleged kidnappers until Walter interferes with a briefcase full of dirty underwear. The kidnappers do not take this lightly and set The Dude’s car on fire. The Dude and Walter’s friend Donny has a heart attack and they go to spread his ashes on the Pacific Coast, most of which end up on The Dude in a well-timed bout of physical comedy. Ultimately, the movie concludes with Bunny not kidnapped but on vacations with her friends and stating she simply “forgot” to tell anyone, The Big Lebowski confessing he did not even want Bunny back and just wanted the ransom money for himself as he is broke, and The Dude chatting with the cowboy narrator at the bowling alley bar.

While there is a clear lack of a cohesive plot, one element remains constant throughout the movie: Bowling. For the main characters, the bowling alley and the game of bowling are the largest, most important part of their lives. The Dude allows for most of his life to have little structure, caring not for money, love, or work, but always returning to the bowling alley as his arena to work out and discuss the larger issues in his life. Ultimately, the bowling alley is the one place in the movie that sees death, giving it an ominous power within the movie over life, death, and society. Many of the characters latch onto bowling as something that provides meaning to their otherwise meaningless lives, such as Walter (a crazed Vietnam veteran) and Jesus (the bowling pedophile). Additionally, throughout the movie, viewers are presented with only men in the bowling alley and on the bowling teams. Women are not portrayed in the sporting aspect of the movie and instead are portrayed in stereotypical gender roles: they are weak (able to be kidnapped) and free spirits focused on having children. Overall, bowling in The Big Lebowski represents the notion that sports in America are rarely just sports; they are often a representation for larger social issues. Bowling also portrays a clear lack of women within the world of sports, opting instead to portray the female characters in traditional gender roles.

While the plot presents itself as largely whimsical, there are two strong themes that deal with larger social issues and substantial ties can be made to the topics discussed in class. The first theme, as mentioned in the previous paragraph, connections to the idea presented by Jay (2004) that “sports are far more than just a game” (p. 1). This is shown in the movie through the use of bowling as the area in which the ideologies of the different characters are explained. More than half of the scenes are shot in the local bowling alley and often occur after a substantial event in the plot. Characters are quick to compare the game of bowling to larger issues, such as Vietnam veteran Walter who yells out “this [is not] Vietnam, there are rules!” For Walter, it is clear that bowling is a way of applying rules back to his life and dealing with the lasting effects of a war without rules or reason. Walter’s character is most concerned about the following of the rules of bowling, as it is his coping method to deal with Vietnam and the horrors he experienced there due to the lack of rules. For other characters, such as Jesus who is often referred to as the bowling pedophile, bowling is his escape from the horrors of his life. While his aggressive behavior remains apparent within his play (he threatens to kill The Dude upon learning they had made it to the semifinals), he is able to be the version of himself that he wants to be in the bowling alley.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjN5q9Ixen4 

Second, The Big Lebowski falls short in its representation of women, not just women in sports; there are no women in the bowling alley or on any of the bowling teams at any point within the movie (while Walter does once bring his ex-wife’s small dog to the bowling alley but even it is not allowed to bowl). Instead, the two predominate female characters that we are presented with are Maude and Bunny. Maude is presented as a free spirited, often naked artist who wants to have a child with The Dude but does not want him to be involved. While Maude’s scene does involve bowling, it is present in a dreamlike, unrealistic state of bowling with The Dude and is a clear metaphor for sexual encounter they are having. While the athletic prowess (or lack thereof) of the male characters is portrayed within the bowling alley, we are offered a “hypersexualized [image] of their female counterparts” (Kane, p. 2). Throughout the movie, the idea of women in sports is “almost nonexistent” similar to the coverage of women’s sports as a whole (Messner, p. 119).

While the redeeming quality of Maude’s portrayal is that she is actively wanting to break gender roles and have a child with no involvement from the father, worse yet is the hypersexualized portrayal of Bunny, The Big Lebowski’s much younger wife. The character of Bunny plays into all stereotypical gender roles of the younger wife who has married an older man for his money. She even offers to suck The Dude’s cock for money at one point during the movie, as she is sitting out by her pool in a skimpy swimsuit while painting her nails and drinking a beverage. Bunny’s character is the embodiment of the “sex sells” notion that Kane (2011) found to be counterproductive when attempting to sell women’s sports. It is important here to take into consideration that she is not an athlete but the Coen Brother’s still play her in this overdone and over sexual female stereotype. As one of just two female main characters we are presented with, both of their roles are problematic for audience, in particular a female audience trying to find parts of the movie with which to identify.

Minor other connections to in class themes presented themselves at times throughout the movie. There is a clear connection to the ideology of sport fan cultures shown through the varying interactions and level of seriousness found by the regulars at the bowling alley. These “sport fan cultures are likely to evolve and develop dependent on the sport type and level at which it is played” (Billings, Butterworth, & Turman, p. 68). While it is clear that the characters are bowling for fun, the sports fan culture is so deeply ingrained in their minds that they have a hard time not taking it so seriously, even to the point where guns are pulled, people are threatened, and Donny has a heart attack. Additionally, the majority of the bowlers are white males, leaving the representation of minority players to be presented as Jesus, the bowling pedophile. Minorities are left out of what is already a marginalized, less popular sport in a fictional world with fictional characters. 

The lack of representation of both minorities and females throughout the movie presents a one-sided view of the world of bowling and bowling as representative of a larger culture or larger social issue. While the idea that bowling can be a representation of individuals’ ideologies, in particular Walter, is a shining positive throughout the movie, the lack of representation for new, different, or less popular ideologies dealing with women and minorities is a large pitfall for The Big Lebowski. At the bowling alley, the women (such as Walter’s ex-wife) and the minorities (such as Jesus, the pedophile) are often mocked and degraded. The movie makes clear that there is no room for women in the bowling alley and although we are presented with just one minority bowler, the minority population is segregated from the rest and belittled. 

As someone who has seen The Big Lebowski many times, it was a new challenge and enjoyment to watch it again through a critical lens. I was six years old when the movie was released to theaters and therefore did not see it until after I had graduated high school. To come back and look for themes relating to sports and American culture presented was not an easy task, as there are many working elements to the plot and structure of the movie. As a whole, The Big Lebowski is an entertaining movie but looking for a deeper meaning was no easy feat. While there are dozens and dozens of quotes that I laugh at each viewing and utilize in my own conversations and life, I felt disconnected as someone who is not really into bowling and as someone who views bowling as more of a leisurely activity rather than a competitive sport or an expression of my own ideology. By looking at what bowling meant to the characters instead of looking at what it means to me and my enjoyment of bowling, I was able to shed light on the notion of sports as always being more than just sports. The lines of different characters, in particular Walter who often likened bowling to different war experiences of his own and of the current political climate during the time of the movie, stood out in a new way as I looked for deeper meaning rather than just funny one-liners.

My relationship with the movie as a woman has now also been complicated as I dove deeper into its portrayals of women. While the character of Maude is a clear attempt at a representation of modern women and femininity, from a gendered sports view she falls short as she is placed into the hypersexualized notion of women in athletics. She challenges The Dude and the audience to view her and the form of the woman body in a new way but ultimately only has a sexual relationship with bowling. She pushes the audience to become accepting of words like vagina and the female form, but her motives are undermined by the hypersexualized portrayal of her “bowling” which is just a large rouse for sex. Previously, I have been able to view Bunny as the innocent yet opportunistic young woman in the movie, but it is hard to view her the same when compared to a female athlete placed on the front of a Sports Illustrated cover. She may not be a female athlete, but she is definitely portrayed in the same light.

While The Big Lebowski may be a cult classic, its representation of women (both in sports or otherwise) is problematic and a perpetuation of traditional gender roles. The two dominant female characters are overly sexualized, similar to women in sports magazines, and any additional positive qualities about them are all together left out. It also presents a negative view of minorities, presenting us only with one minority athlete and referring to other minorities as “Chinamen.” While the largest theme seems to be that sports are always more than just sports, the pitfalls of the negative representations of women and minorities taint the positive message that is apparent. The Dude and the other bowlers use bowling to represent their ideologies about life, war, and marriage but fall short in their stereotypical views of women, minorities, and any other category of other. But, as the Dude famously says, that’s just, you know, my opinion, man.  

Billings A. C., Butterworth, M. L., & Turman, P. D. (2017). Communication and Sport. Sage Publications. Jay, K. (2004). More than just a game: Sports in American life since 1945. Columbia University Press. Kane, M. J. (2011) Sex sells, not women’s sports. The Nation. Messner, M. (2012). Reflections on communication and sport: On men and masculinities. Communication & Sport, 1, 113-124. doi:10.1177/2167479512467977

[furederiko]

We'll be heralding the arrival of the Space Rebellions tomorrow morning. But before we do that, here's a quick review of Doubutsu Sentai Zyuohger as whole...

Yeah, this was supposed to go up not long after the final episode's weekly review, but well... I got a little sidetracked by my health *sigh*. It's basically under the weather (which has been unexplainably REALLY cold recently), that's why it took me a while to finish one. Don't worry though, because this post will be brief. Okay it's not.... Ahahaha. XD

Let's just get one thing out of the way: Zyuohger is just another good example, of the flaws of a long running show. The downside of having a whole-year worth of air time. The need to explore stories in around 50 episodes is indeed a challenge on its own. And frankly, I don't think the writers of this show succeeded in their task. There were great stories that focused on wonderful morale messages, but there were also episodes that felt like merely repeating the annual tropes, and even went below average standards. To put it simple, it's an uneven show. The beginning of the episode wasn't as memorable and a little on-the-nose. Which was the reason why I only gave it a 7,2. That's a stark difference to the 8,4 score of the finale. But the contrast also proved something! The show gradually built itself to become something interesting. Offering a vast amount of potentials, especially due to the cultural, and racial differences of its members. The main reason why I've decided to continue watching, despite my initial reluctance.

It's quite unfortunate, that this positive progression began to falter again halfway through. I believe this show lost its momentum when the writers decided to axe Bunglay, who was easily the most interesting and challenging antagonist the show had. If it's up to me, I think this character should've stayed to the end. I've said that I appreciate the surprise they wrote to Dethgaliens Master Genis in the end, but in many ways, Bunglay was indeed a much worthy and better 'scumbag' than Genis to be called a final boss. His obsession to Yamato Kazakiri would've worked better to explore our Red's damaged relationship with his father. Not to mention, his quest for Cube Whale, could've been linked nicely to the reveal of Immortal Azald. Instead, the show ditched him, and went even south when they gave Kubar a demise that was too early and underwhelming. Yes, the cunning and treachearous antagonist who initially rose up to be an excellent replacement to Bunglay. A villain that hid his own agenda, and never hesitated to use sleazy tricks to meet his goal, wo went off in a very unceremonious way. Thus all the build-ups, those numerous episodes spent to explore him, suddenly became pointless. No matter how praiseworthy her devotion for Genis, Naria suffered from weak writing as well. She's a character who showed promise, the potential to be deliver the 'surprise' that audience needed. But the show just treated her poorly and made her a one dimensional blank character instead. As for why Genis failed as a strong big boss? That's due to the show's habit to tell, and not show. Many times we only heard how scary Genis was, particularly from the Team Players. But it wasn't until the finale that we saw first hand how evil he could be. Something that should've been done much early on, and even better, throughout the whole run. Yeah, I get that everything was meant to lead to that big surprise in the end. But at least, audience needed actual proof that he's a sinister being instead of the overly optimistic boss depicted all the time.

The core storyline about connection between people, particularly those who are different, was admirable. It touched upon issues of discrimination, equality, and many sensitive ones that resonated strongly to the real life current condition of the world. I also appreciated how pieces of the puzzle that were seeded from very early on, became connected, and (mostly) paid off in the third arc. Problem is, even if it's a strong and delicate one, this main plot was considerably thin. And worse, the show loved to drag audience from one plot point to another, without utilizing it to explore minor subplots. The result? The Zyumans practically didn't have any significant character developments. At least, not that I could remember. This mirrored the similar negative trait of "Shuriken Sentai Ninninger", because the writings never fully explored these character's potentials. Which was too bad, since each one of them were completely different races that easily shouted 'blank canvas'. Each species could've played out more distinctly with one another, and that weren't even touched. In general, their presence felt like nothing but supporting characters for Yamato, because from start to finish, they remained who they were. And speaking of Yamato, while he did have one, it was somewhat rushed as the show's approaching the end game. A fact that annoyed me, because of how ill-timed it was. The only one who had clear character growth, was none other than Misao Mondo. This additional character grew from an awkward and meek guy, to a more confident, mature, and stronger in the end. Even moreso than Yamato, and he's not even the core cast!

This was quite disappointing, because if there's one thing that the season definitely shine, it's in the cast. Eventhough they were NOT perfect, everyone's easily likeable. Despite his 'blandness', Yamato was one of the better Reds we have in the recent years. Sure, many people were calling him the 'Jesus of the Group'. But when compared to the lousy and gratingly annoying Takaharu of previous season, the mature and nurturing Yamato obviously came on top. The other members in Ninninger were better than its Red, but I'd gladly choose the other Zyuohgers in their place. Amu was a character with the strongest and most interesting personality. Her presence was important because she's crucial to drive Yamato's plot. With that reason, I think she was the best character we got in the show. Even when he seemed standoff-ish, Tusk was the likeable smart one. His story with Misao was a great touch, and a pairing I didn't expect would be a gem. Sela was the tough girl of the group, but she's also the one who was sensitive and caring. If there's one member that I found to be annoying, it's Leo. But even I have to admit that he used to be my favorite character early on. Right until the writers dumped some bad traits on him. Seriously, he morphed from super fun, to super annoying, so it was nice that he got a little redemption near the end. These characters were not only easy on the eyes, they were fun to be with. That includes Yamato's uncle Mario Mori, Bard who became the seventh member albeit too briefly, and also the wise gorilla zyuman Larry. All three who were severely underused. My point is, what a waste of potentials indeed.

In general, it became obvious and clear that the show just didn't reach nor exercise its full potential. This somehow felt like a deliberate decision from the writers too, as many of the episodes felt more like... intended fillers. It's a good proof that the number of episodes was simply too long for the core plot. I honestly can't help but wonder, if this show would've been much stronger as a 25 episodes series? I mean, this flaw was even more apparent during the third arc. Aside from Yamato, whose substory came out way too late, the show suddenly pushed aside other character's development and focused more on action, and became a by-the-number trope showcase. If it's up to me, the whole plot from episode 1-48 that involved Genis would've been concised into the first half, while the second half would fully focus on repairing the rift between Earth and Zyuland. Dealing with discrimination and injustice that's happening in both world, while introducing a whole new enemy. A stronger and more powerful threat that threatened both worlds!

Of course, that doesn't mean that I dislike the ending that we got. I wouldn't give it a high score if I do, right? Yes, I know I did whine a lot during the final 5 episodes. But I don't regret that, because it made me appreciate the ending even more. Albeit somehow feeling like a cheat, it was still a brilliant conclusion. It caught me off guard, because I was completely ready to see a 'bad ending'. What kind? One that ended with goodbyes. Where the show's dream to create a unity between Earth and Zyuland, remained just the way it was. A dream. That the 'happy' ending would still be miles away from happening, since our heroes never actually accomplished this goal. Thankfully, we all know that's not the case, as we get a truly sweet, joyful, and satisfying closure instead. In fact, I personally think that the epilogue accomplished much more than what the entire 3rd arc offered! For real.

In the end, despite leaning to 'good', my response to Zyuohger is mixed at best. There's a massive potential and promise the show could've explored, but opted not to. The show is plagued by occasional weak writing, weird decisions, and more importantly, bad timings. There's a shadow of a much better and stronger show that could've been, but in the end, that's not the case. Not saying that it's a bad season, because many times it was plain fun and entertaining. Particularly that 2-episodes crossover with "Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger" that helped established both teams to exist in the same continuity. Zyuohger just didn't feel as 'complete' as it could've been, unlike several previous seasons that managed to successfully nailed their story elements with wonders. Interestingly, at the same time, thanks to being somewhat underdeveloped, I certainly want to see these guys again. You know why? Because the way the show ended just opened up an entire possibility for a whole new season! Where humans and zyumans struggle to coexist in the same universe. One which unfortunately, we won't be seeing. At least not until these character 'return'...

Yep, of course we haven't seen the last of this team. Customary to their tradition, TOEI has already announced a special V-Cinema that will be released on June 28. Jugding from the official plot of "Kaettekita Doubutsu Sentai Zyuohger O-inochi Choudai! Chikyuu Ouja Ketteisen", I'm crossing my fingers that this IS the continuity I want to see. The show wasted the chance to explore the barriers between different races, and moreso, skipped the actual daily lives of the four Zyuman Zyuohgers in Zyuland with their family. So I hope this special sequel will deal with that unused plot. It won't be their Swan Song though. Some, if not all members would undoubtedly participate in the upcoming "Kamen Rider x Super Sentai: Chou Super Hero Taisen" movie. And just like last month, they most definitely will have a crossover movie too early next year. That Versus movie will be their final official (as in, not in guest-star capacity) foray in the Super Sentai franchise. And it might be an interesting one, since the next season takes place in a distant future. That's like, a completely different world and timeline, right? Here's hoping that means we'll be getting bigger and better adventures for the Zyuohgers soon!

Overall Score: 7,84 out of 10 NOTE: Overall score was accumulated from my Weekly Review scores. You can view a graph of those reviews to find out which episodes were the highlights and also the series lows.

[sciencespies]

What the 2010s taught us about women in space 

https://sciencespies.com/space/what-the-2010s-taught-us-about-women-in-space/

What the 2010s taught us about women in space 

Is the future of spaceflight female? 

Astronauts Christina Koch and Jessica Meir captured the world’s attention with their historic all-woman spacewalk at the end of 2019. The 2020s is beginning with the duo scheduled to repeat their historic first twice more by the end of January. Is the future of spaceflight female?

If popular culture mirrors society, it is clear society craves more women in science, engineering, and space — not in skimpy skirts and silent roles, but as central characters that drive the story. Hidden Figures, a 2016 movie based on the book by the same name, told us the forgotten story of three African American women who helped launch John Glenn into orbit during America’s Jim Crow era.

Half a century later, their contributions finally got the recognition they deserve: the movie was nominated for three Oscar awards in 2017, the street in front of NASA’s headquarters in Washington was renamed Hidden Figures Way last summer, and Katherine Johnson, Dorothy Vaughan and Mary Jackson received Congressional Gold Medals last fall.

During the 2010s, the Hollywood blockbusters Interstellar, Gravity, and Arrival all featured women in leading roles as scientists and astronauts. For All Mankind, an Apple TV+ show that debuted last fall, and the Lady Astronaut book series imagine alternate historical timelines where women astronauts were on board from the start.

The real world has also moved away from the notion that women are unfit for spaceflight. The ratio of women among new astronaut trainees doubled from 20 percent in the 2000s (nine out of 46) to 47 percent in the 2010s (nine out of 19). Commercial astronaut instructor Beth Moses became the first woman on a commercial spaceflight aboard Virgin Galactic’s SpaceShipTwo last February. In October, NASA astronauts Meir and Koch replaced a broken battery charger outside of the International Space Station during the first all-woman spacewalk. Two more such spacewalks are scheduled before Koch, who has been on ISS since March, returns to Earth in February.

The progress NASA has made during the last decade has not been without hiccups. The first all-woman spacewalk was originally supposed to happen last March with Koch joined by Anne McClain instead of Meir. However, the all-female EVA was canceled due to a shortage of spacewalk suits in the needed size at the ISS. Only one medium-sized upper body torso was readily available on the ISS. McClain had worn a large torso on a previous spacewalk, but sizing up would have impacted McClain’s arms reach needed for the scheduled task. She decided to let her colleague, Nick Hague, take the large suit — and her place in the scheduled spacewalk. McClain returned to Earth last June.

In early 2018, Jeannette Epps was was slated to become the first African American ISS crew member. However, she was removed from the mission still  unexplained reasons several months prior to the scheduled launch. Serena Aunon-Chancellor, who was originally scheduled for a later ISS rotation, took Epps’ place.

During the 2010s, NASA was often in the spotlight — either as a diversity pioneer, or as a hindrance. Some were not too happy about this. Marsha Ivins, a retired astronaut who flew five space missions between 1990 and 2001, spoke against what she called “the obsession with gender-diverse space crews.” She argued that NASA had  long since moved away from outright sexism or complete inability to accommodate women (for example, by not knowing enough about female hygiene products). “We’ve been sending gender-diverse crews to space since 1983. We’ve had women do every job a man does in space,” she wrote in Time Magazine last summer.

Ivins is correct that women have had the same roles as men during spaceflights. Nevertheless, women are still highly underrepresented in space. There has been essentially no change in the gender ratio at the International Space Station in its nearly 20 years of continuous occupation: women comprised 12 percent of the International Space Station population over the course of the 2000s, and 11 percent in the 2010s. Even if women had the spotlight and the same roles as men, they remained a minority in orbit.

Astronauts are the face of the space program, but NASA has been doing diversity work behind the scenes as well. Senior officials publicly supported the U.S. Supreme Court’s 2015 ruling that legalized same-sex marriage. In 2014, NASA instituted guidelines to accommodate employees undergoing gender transition, and LGBTQ individuals have been included in their nondiscrimination policy since 2016.

NASA has been voted as the best place to work eight years in a row, and is leading other big federal employers in its support for diversity. However, it is still a relatively homogeneous workplace. The majority of NASA employees, as in all federal STEM jobs, are white (72 percent) and male (66 percent). Women and ethnic and racial minorities, except Asian Americans, are underrepresented at NASA in comparison to the general population; the biggest gaps are among women (34 percent at NASA vs 51 percent in the population) and Hispanic Americans (8 percent vs.16 percent). There is even less diversity at the top: 86 percent of senior employees are men, and 84 percent are white, while women and minorities are more likely to have lower-level administrative positions.

This lack of diversity, especially among leadership, leads to decisions that are more likely to reflect the lived experiences and perspectives of white men than of underrepresented populations. The spacesuit mishap that delayed the first all-women spacewalk is an example of this unintentional bias. Female astronauts are smaller on average, and thus more likely to use the medium-size torso unit, the smallest size that NASA currently offers. Male astronauts are more likely to use bigger sizes; the International Space Station had two large, but not two medium-size, torso units ready to go. NASA has already learned its lesson — the next generation of highly customizable spacesuits, able to accommodate anyone from “the first percentile female to the 99th percentile male,” will replace those designed with the average man in mind.

A need for a spacesuit that fits is just one example of how women are overlooked in an environment designed for men. In addition, the waste disposal system on the International Space Station is ill-suited to handle menstrual blood and waste; most astronauts opt for contraception to skip periods altogether. Ironically, the sample of female astronauts is too small for a robust clinical trial of hormonal contraception and its effects in a space environment.

Female and male bodies differ in many ways, and so does their physiological adaptation to radiation, microgravity, and other space perils. We know a lot about how space affects males, but not females. This is one of the areas where the space program should focus. The call to study sex differences in orbit might make progressive readers skeptical: we are still far from undoing the damages done by popular psychology’s claims that women and men differ in math or verbal skills. There is no direct link between gender and math skills, but this stereotype remains one of the challenges faced by women in STEM.

In the 2020s, NASA should build on the progress it has made on diversity and inclusion by redoubling efforts to understand its women astronauts and why men still outnumber them nine to one on ISS crew logs. More attention should be paid to how women respond to the rigors of spaceflight and experience the agency’s institutional culture.

Space systems designers should abandon one-size-fits-most approach, where females are seen as a deviation from the male standard. Physiological sex differences should instead be treated as important variables.

Simultaneously, NASA should listen to the experiences of women and minority employees, and work toward becoming truly inclusive, from its astronauts to its engineers and executives. Making space for everyone takes time, but it is worth the effort.

And it is about more than just fair representation: women might be better suited for a long-term spaceflight than men. Women are generally smaller and need fewer calories, they are socialized to be more interpersonal, and suffer less from some spaceflight effects. While flying all-women crews is unlikely — NASA briefly considered it in 1999 — having more women is certainly beneficial for the U.S. space program.

Inga Popovaite is a sociology Ph.D. candidate at the University of Iowa. She studies group interactions in space analog environments with a focus on emotions, status hierarchy, and gender. Follow her on Twitter: @inga_pop. 

#Space