#also this shit is making me look like a REAL theater kid

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

Besties I got tagged in some ask games, which are murder on my social anxiety. I love being asked but I hate tagging people lol, I have some in my drafts from 2018 just percolating because I was scared to actually tag. BUT I’M DETERMINED. I know there were others I was tagged in earlier so I am v sorry if you tagged me in one and I never responded know I was very touched and I loved it and now I’ll do it lol. So anyways here:

I was tagged by @today-or-tumble and @mars1z

Relationship status: Single

Favorite color: teal

Song stuck in my head: I Could Have Danced All Night from My Fair Lady lol, I just got back from the musical an hour ago. I know I’m gonna schedule this but KNOW when I wrote this it was an hour ago.

Favorite food: Pesto tortellini 

Last song I played: Chronically Cautious by Braden Bales (listen this is my Spider vibe lately)

Dream trip: It’s dumb but if I was rich I’d pay for me and all my friends to do Semester at Sea so we could all learn and go cool places all over the world.

Last thing I googled: Lucky Seat, I always get hyped after I see a musical, I hope you fuckers in Cincinnati are having fun with Hadestown that shit rocked,  All I’ve Ever Known and Wait For Me?? I’ll die. 

We are brave so we tag: @mochalottie @dinas-bracelet @spicymiilk @theoriginaljordge @tuberculosis-chic @residenthottiesamwilson @peachycrime @buzzing-honeybee (i will never forget u og spider bestie)

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

After Starcourt, Steve finally managed to get a date. He actually liked her, too. She was nice, smart, and completely smitten over the fact that he was fond of the kids he babysat. Apparently, she didn't take it too well that Dustin followed him onto his date. She left before Dustin came back from the bathroom.

"Hey, where's Lydia?" Dustin asked.

"Oh, her parents called the theater. Apparently, there was a family emergency," Steve shrugged.

"Oh, that sucks. You were really looking forward to it," Dustin frowned. "More popcorn for us."

He made his way over to the concession stand. Steve didn't have the heart to tell him the real reason why she left. Dustin's had a hard time lately since the mall, and from what Claudia told him, he's been having nightmares lately. He didn't have to say anything, but Steve figured the reason why Dustin's been clinging to both him and Robin lately was because he felt guilty about them getting hurt. Robin had agreed with him on that theory. He didn't mind it much. He loved spending time with Dustin, someone he thought of like a little brother, and he knew Robin had come to think of him like that, along with Erica. It was where Robin was currently at "babysitting" for the Sinclairs while they had their own date night. As much as she complained, Erica had wormed her way into Robin's heart. Once they got their drinks and popcorn, they found a couple of seats up front.

"Excuse me, is this seat taken?" A voice asked.

"No," Steve replied with looking, and he almost did when he felt leather brush up against his arm.

"Steve?" Dustin asked.

"Yeah?"

"Your date stood you up because of me, didn't she?" Dustin asked.

"What? No!" Steve said quickly.

"You're a terrible liar, Steve," Dustin whispered. "But that's okay, Steve, I still think you're my brother."

"Well, you know, if she doesn't understand that my little brother is important to me, then she's not worth my time," Steve whispered.

"You guys are terrible whisperers," a voice from Steve’s other side said. "Also, totally adorable."

Steve turned and found that Eddie Munson was sitting on his other side.

"Do you know this guy, Steve?" Dustin asked.

"Eddie Munson," the man himself introduced. "Didn't know Steve Harrington had a nerdy little brother."

"I adopted him," Dustin replied. "Besides, Steve’s not just a jock. He's a nerd, too."

"No, I'm not," Steve scoffed.

"Please, I found the comic books under your bed," Dustin hissed.

"What the hell did I tell you about going through my stuff, you little shit?" Steve hissed back.

"You really are brothers," Eddie grinned.

"Hey, Eddie, you're a guy," Dustin said suddenly.

"That's what it says on my birth certificate," Eddie replied.

"Do you know why a guy would keep his muscle magazines with his playboys? Do you think it's a jock thing?" Dustin asked.

"Oh my god!" Steve exclaimed, mortified.

Steve could feel Eddie watching him with curious eyes, and he waited for his reaction.

"You know, it must be a jock thing," Eddie said. "I think if I were your brother, I'd give you hell for digging through his private things."

Dustin sighed and rolled his eyes, but Steve took this as a sign that he's thinking about how wrong he was. The movie was about to start. Suddenly, Eddie leaned so close to him that Steve could feel his hair tickling his cheek, his breath in his ear.

"It's not just jocks who put their muscle magazines with their playboys," Eddie whispered and paused briefly, moving in closer until his lips were brushing up light against his ear. "Big boy."

Eddie sat back in his seat, leaving Steve flushed. His heart was pounding in his ears, and suddenly, his crush on Eddie came roaring back. Steve cursed mentally as he tried to focus on the movie and not on the fact that Eddie was leaning more heavily against his arm. His pinky was brushing up against his. At some point, Eddie started running over his hand, drawing circles into his skin. His touch was setting him on edge, and it was making his brain go all fuzzy.

"Bathroom," Steve said gruffly and stood up quickly.

He was grateful that there wasn't anyone in the bathroom when he went it. It allowed him to catch his breath. It was crazy how one single moment could bring out all of the feelings that he shoved inside of him when he was just a freshman, a freshman who has seen the most beautiful boy ever. He honestly hadn't felt this way since Nancy, and honestly, it was baffling. Just one little moment, and he was crazy about him again. Suddenly, the door opened, and Steve looked through the mirror as Eddie walked into the restroom. They made eye contact, and he raised a questioning eyebrow at him as he locked the door. Suddenly, Steve was moving and pressing Eddie up against the door as he kissed him. Eddie pulled him closer by his hips as he kissed him back. Of course, it didn't last long before someone wanted in. They broke the kiss, and Eddie quickly disappeared into a stall before Steve could unlock. The man walked in and frowned at him.

"Uh, the door got stuck," Steve said.

"I heard the lock, young man," he said.

Steve slipped by him and hurried back to his seat. Eddie soon came back, a grin on his face. He pulled a pen out of his pocket and started writing his number on Steve’s hand.

"Call me when you're ready to have a date without your brother," Eddie whispered. "I really do appreciate people who collect lost sheep."

Steve grinned. Things were looking up. Suddenly, he was very grateful that Lydia stood him up.

[gallusrostromegalus]

So, I am begging you here, pls tell me that Ikkaku and Yumichika are still bffs on this AU. I need the violent miss- and yet perfectly matched bastards to still be forever ride-and-die with each other.

Also, all the dropped tidbits relating to Yumichika are gold and I am hoarding them like a squirrel hoards his nuts for winter.

They are actually, for real, legally married.

Ikkaku was 500% ready to fight the entire Gotei-13 when he took the 628-year old marriage certificate he and Yumichika had gotten in 72 North to the Seireitei Records Office to be honored.

Instead, the sole hiccup in the process was the young lady behind the counter asking him to spell Yumichika's surname for her as this document seems to have been... stained, at some point.

"-That's not... Blood, is it?" She asks, concerned.

"Uh. It's actually. Um. Soy Sauce." Ikkaku mumbles.

It would have been less embarrassing if it had been blood.

Turns out, Gay marriage- and indeed, divorce, or changing your name, or gender, or becoming the third, fourth or seventeenth parent/legal guardian to a kid is a nonissue in soul society, because someone complained *once* and Yamamoto declared that, one, he didn't care, and two, the rest of the military commanders were hired off death row, and *this* is what you're complaining about? Fuck off.

But here are some Yumichika Fun Facts:

Everyone in the 11th division has really, really good personal hygiene and well-cared for hands, feet and nails because Yumichika's mother was a doctor at a rural hospital and put the fear of dysentery, cholera, pneumonia, tetanus, sepsis, trench rot and necrosis into him even more than fear of the gods, and he very much continued this sanitary evangelism.

Yumichika's other mother was a drag queen at the brothel that adjoined the hospital and taught him all about hair, makeup, poisons, manners, alley fights, how to play the shamisen, how to make a knife out of anything, flower arrangement and how to curse the hell out of a motherfucker of it comes to that.

Kubo was wrong Yumichika looks out for all his sisters not just his cis-ters.

Kenpachi was friends with Yumichika before either of the ever knew Ikkaku. He met Yumichika shortly after adopting Yachiru when Yumichika saved him from drowning in the river that ran through his home village.

Kenpachi asked Yumichika what he could do in gratitude for saving his life, and Yumichika, seeing his sword, asked if Kenpachi could "give him a real fight, for once"

They had a jolly little scrap that left Yumichika in the hospital for three months, an almost insatiable lust for battle, and a permanent bald scar on the edge of his eyebrow, which is where he glues the decorative feathers he wears.

It also got him (lovingly) told to move out and make his way in the world.

Yumichika met Ikkaku some years after that, when the theater/brothel he was working at hired Ikkaku on as an Emcee and a comedy act in his own right.

Ikkaku loves making people laugh and is damn good at it.

Yumichika was already considering making a move on him when a heckler pulled a sword on Yumichika during his act and Ikkaku beat the shit out of him with a chair without a second thought, and Yumichika decided he was going to seduce and marry this bald little maniac then and there.

It still took the better part of six months, because Ikkaku was convinced that Yumichika was "Way out of his league" and "He's just being friendly to a coworker!".

Things finally became clear when, having reached a boiling point of sexual frustration, Yumichika challenged Ikkaku to a duel, beat the hell out of Ikkaku with Kujaku, and screamed his feelings directly into Ikkaku's face.

"Oh." Said Ikkaku. "Why didn't you say something?"

"I'VE BEEN SAYING THINGS AND SHOWING YOU THINGS AND SITTING IN YOUR LAP AND KISSING YOU FOR SIX MONTHS YOU FUCKING MORON."

"...I may be stupid."

"At least you're also cute. C'mere you sexy cueball."

-and they have been blissfully if dramatically wedded since.

It was many years after that that they had moved on to a different brothel as a duo floor show act, when they got to talking to some of the other working girls about their travels and Yumichika tells the story of how he got his eyebrow scar saving a real freak of a guy from drowning after he got stabbed by a river stingray, but then he challenged him to a fight because- well, he was young and cocky and a small fish, but in a tiny pond- and promptly got his ass beat.

"That's wild!" Says Ikkaku. "I also challenged a random freak with a stingray scar on his leg to a fight because I was bored and- all due respect to you and Kujaku, my beloved - but he gave me a thrashing the likes of which I'd never had before or since. He had his daughter with him was the weird part- he was a real big bastard, face like a cliff, but his girl was this adorable little pink thing."

Yumichika sits up, frowning. "-seven feet tall in socks, big vertical scar on the right side of his face?" He asked, gesturing to his own.

Ikkaku put his drink down and pointed at Yumichika "-and bells in his hair! You fought Zaraki Kenpachi too??"

"Yes! What the hell?" Yumichika laughed. "I wonder where he is now..."

"Oh Gods, he had the WORST sense of direction! He's probably managed to walk in and back out of the Soul King's palace on accident!" Ikkaku giggled

"Well, if he's the same seven foot tall sword bastard with the scarred face and pink little girl on his shoulder as the seven foot tall sword bastard with the scarred face and the pink little girl on his shoulder standing out in the street looking lost as hell, you can go ask him." Said their coworker Sachiko, pointing to the giant standing not a dozen feet away.

"Look Ken-chan! It's YuYu and Baldy!" Yachiru giggled.

"Yachiru!" Yumichika gasped, delighted.

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT!" bellowed Ikkaku.

"YOU AGAIN!" Zaraki bellowed, ecstatic. " BEEN A FEW YEARS, LET'S SEE HOW MUCH YOU LEARNED!!"

Ten minutes of incredible violence, twelve minutes of evading the police and twenty-one minutes of getting lost on the way back to the brothel, a bloodied but still standing Yumichika was explaining to the Madame that the giant bastard carrying the unconscious half of her prized floor show duo behind him was, in fact, an old friend of theirs whom she should absolutely hire as a bouncer, you can see how effective he is!

Madame Tsubaki, who recognizes incredible spiritual power and fighting potential when she sees it, and who is still very petty about the divorce from her husband the Shinigami Captain-General, allows herself to be persuaded.

[cursedkeyboard]

Babies shouldn't grow up ☆ Jason Todd & GN!Reader (PT.2)

What does Jason do after stealing a kid from Gotham's slums? Feed and give the little brat a home, of course. [PART ONE ♤ PART TWO ♤ PART THREE ♤ PART FOUR ♤ PART FIVE ♤ PART SIX]

pairings: Platonic Jason Todd & Child GN!Reader

To be completely honest, when Jason reached his apartment, he was panicking a little

The drive had been enough to clear his mind and he realized how impulsive he'd been

He is a damn vigilante, one with a hell of a reputation, and who's always messing with the baddest assholes of this city

Fuck, he's got guns and explosives in his house

But even with all the panic and rationality, Jason wasn't going to abandon you somewhere else

Orphanages were great places for villains to hit, the foster system might as well have been created by the joker, and no way in hell was he going to drop you at Bruce's

Anything but that

So he sucked it up and focused on your small voice full of wonder as you two drove through the city

"I didn't know there was so many tall buildings in Gotham!"

"That church is huge!"

"Holy shit is that a theater?! I only saw them in movies!"

At a certain point he was close to biting his fists in pure cuteness aggression

He knew exactly what you were feeling, could even picture your eyes glittering full of wonder behind the helmet

It didn't help his heart that your helmet also had comms, which were connected to his, so every single one of your little comments meant for yourself only were accidentally shared

Your Gotham accent was so thick too, born and raised in an area were the elite never tried to "cleanse"

Fuking adorable

Oh, also, he'd need to teach you not to follow strangers even if they were famous vigilantes

Because he realized how fucking dangerous it was that you just up and agreed to be taken by a random masked man

Sure, he knew he also did the same with Bruce, but hey, look at where that got him

When Jason finally brought you up to his apartment, still carrying you, he knew he'd have to immediately go out to buy some things

His fridge wasn't stocked with what kids need

Like... apple juice and cereal

Or any kind of vegetables

And, he definitely needed some kid safety stuff, even if he knew you wouldn't try opening the dangerous cabinets

... probably

Opening his door, he took you to the bathroom

Look, as cute as you were, you were also as filthy as a drenched sewer rat

He told you as much when he set you down

Your glare was worth the slap on the arm (it didn't even hurt)

"Can I assume you know how to take a shower?"

"I'm nine, not three, Red Hood."

"Not my fault you look like you're five."

He chuckled as you huffed and puffed

"Jason Todd."

"What?"

"My name is Jason Todd. Can't have you calling me Red Hood if you're gonna live with me, right?"

You gaped, big eyes going wide

He told you his name! And showed you his face! Why did this man trust you so much?

It... it made you real warm inside

You were quiet for a moment before quietly telling you your name, shyly, like you hadn't done that in a long time

"Hm, I think I prefer 'squirt', tho."

Okay, warm moment over, the guy is insufferable

Hissing and pushing him out of the bathroom with all of your strength, you hesitantly took your first real shower since... since you don't even know when

The water was black

You realized your skin could feel soft instead of oily

And your nails finally didn't look like you dug through dirt

Meanwhile, Jason was running around the apartment like a crazed man

Shoving his guns inside high drawers you wouldn't be able to reach

Trashing the cigs he had bought out of curiosity

And making sure any items for... his intimate partners were completely hidden away

He'd found those in Bruce's room one time as a kid and, needless to say, Jason still felt traumatized to this day

After making his apartment slightly less deadly and ordering food, Jason knocked on the door to let you know he'd left a change of clothes for you in front of the bathroom

Damian's clothes the brat left behind once he had stayed over when he was rebelling

they'd be a little too big for you but nothing like what his would look like

Once you came out, looking fresh and clean, Jason immediately carried you to the couch

Biting his tongue because the demon brat's clothes were actually so big on you he could cry

He ignored your complaints again, he knew your little feet were all scratched and they must have hurt like a bitch

Once you finally settled and didn't try to scratch his eyeballs out, Jason started to patch you up

Such careful, gentle touches for rough hands like his

He handled your injuries like you were made of glass

And despite your childish pride... you kind of loved it

It made you feel all tingly and cozy inside, like you were precious

Like you were deserving of kindness

As you started fidgeting with all the bubbling emotions inside of you, Jason tried to calm you down by talking

He learned your mother died from a drive-by shooting and your father was an alcoholic with a taste for physical abuse

"It only got bad bad a year or so ago, I think he blamed me for us being poor."

"And you know that's bull, right?"

You shrugged as he finished treating your injuries and started to dry your damp hair, a little awkwardly but attentive

"He left a month ago–or died, I don't know–so it doesn't matter either way."

Well, that was a healthy mindset for a child!

He had to breathe through his mouth to not get up and go put three little bullets in your piece of shit father's head

or his body, if the bastard was already dead

Jason definitely had a lot of work to do, but for now, ding-dong, he was going to focus on feeding you

And, no, he was never going to delete the photo he took of your face when he opened the huge takeout orders

Nor would he forget the way you cried silently as you ate

That was your first real meal in months

Your first real meal, washed and clothed, in a safe apartment that didn't smell of roaches nor booze, with an adult who looked at you fondly

Jason promised, to himself and God, that he'd make sure you'd never cry over something like food ever again

When you giggled at a joke he made and didn't flinch when he gently wiped a bit of sauce from your cheek, he knew he had made the correct decision

He'd keep you safe

To be continued...

[x0llaz]

Ten Things I Hate About you

Jung Sungchan

Chapter 1) first impressions

WC~300

Masterlist. Next.

It was Sohee’s first day at his new school, he had spent his morning talking to counselors, teachers, and the principal. He was finally assigned a buddy to show him around for the rest of the day. He walked into the hallway and saw a taller boy waiting across the hall.

“Sohee?” The other guy called.

“That’s me,” Sohee said meekly.

“Great,” the taller approached. “I’m seunghan, I’ll be showing you around.

Sohee was used to the routine, get paired with a buddy who felt pressured to sticking with him until he switched schools again. Make in-genuine friendships that could last just until he was on the road.

But as he walked with seunghan, who took time to not only show him around, but made an effort to fill him in on anything he should know, he felt more at ease. It felt like seunghan was having more of a genuine conversation- though it was mostly one sided.

“Ready for the fun part?” Seunghan asked with a smirk.

“What’s that?”

“The cliques,” Seunghan gestured to the courtyard full of diverse groups of friends. “We have your usual preppies, jocks, nerds,” he lazily directed Sohee’s attention across the area. “But we also got theater kids, IB candidates, and plenty of other genres of douchebags,”

“Riveting,” sohee sighed. It was going to be a long year.

“Tell me about it,” seunghan laughed to himself. “There’s a rumor that the band kids suck each other’s dicks at contest,” seunghan cracked a bright smile that made sohee laugh in shock.

“How would you know that?” He asked.

“Word gets around,” The older shrugged. “Anyways, we can go-“

“Holy shit!” Sohee interrupted as his eyes caught on someone’s figure.

She was slim, with long hair, a pretty outfit, and big eyes that made his heart pound. “Who’s she?” Sohee asked breathlessly.

“Her? That’s Yuna,” Seunghan sighed. “Take a good look, that’s as far as you’ll ever get,”

“What group is she in?” Sohee finally turned his gaze away.

“She’s not just in the group, she is the group. They all revolve around her. She’s the queen bee in her class, even upperclassmen know about her,” seunghan explained in admiration. “But shes kinda off limits so,”

“What? Why?” Sohee furrowed his brows.

“Her dad’s a real nut job about dating and stuff. He hates the existence of teen pregnancy,” seunghan told the younger.

Sohee just frowned. “Okay… what about… that guy,” he gestured to the group of guys by the wall. The guys were all huddled around each other, checking out girls as they passed by.

“That’s jeno and his little dream team,” seunghan mocked. “Ridiculously handsome, but there’s nothing going on in their heads,”

“Huh,” sohee shifted his gaze to a girl who was sitting at a table by herself, earbuds plugged in, drawing on a sketch pad. “What about her?”

Seunghan looked over at her. “Oh man, don’t,” he shook his head. “That’s YN, Yuna’s older sister,” they watched as she continued drawing. “She’s a nice girl deep down, but man can she be a bitch,” they watched as some of her friends joined her. “Her friends are the only people she talks to, other than Yuna, or Jeno when she wants to rip him a new one,”

“Sounds intense,” Sohee felt tense as he heard about her.

“Yeah, but she’s nice when you get her talking,” seunghan said, when a group of guys passed by them. Sohee noticed how other students looked up to stare.

“Them?”

“They don’t have a name. They’re just kind of insane.“ seunghan faked a shiver and sohee huffed out a breath. It was going to be a long year.

First chapter is kinda just a silly little intro! Next chapter will be a full smau and we’ll get into more stuff >:)

Taglist: @allyoops , @snowyseungs , @seobstarr , @hollxe1 , @Mmmewxgthn, @haeeeeefer , @dinosluver , @sseastar-main , @st4rryhae , @m1ng1swife , @hisrkive , @user7520, @nattys-girl , @papichulomacy , @so-lychee , @nicholasluvbot, @onebnis,

[youling-the-ghost]

sfth incorrect quotes pt.10 because school's kicking my ass and I need my daily dose of brainrot to survive

AJ: Go fuck yourself. Sam, smugly: Sure, but only if you watch Tom: It doesn’t have a bone. Sam: Then why is it called a boner? Luke: Look, do I consider myself attractive? Yes. But would I have sex with my clone? Also yes.

AJ: Is the plural of milf/dilf milfs/dilfs or milves/dilves? Sam: Milfs. Tom: Milf/dilf is an acronym, you can't change the spelling to milves/dilves. AJ: Wait, they're acronyms? What do they stand for??? Luke: Mom in late forties, dad in late fourties. Luke: I learned that from the movie called M.I.L.F that I saw the trailer of in theaters probably 5 to 7 years ago. Tom: Mom/dad I'd Love to Fuck. AJ: WAIT, WHAT THE FUCK— AJ: I NEVER REALIZED IT WAS ACTUALLY HORNY! Luke: Oh, is it not mom in late fouries? Sam: What? No! It isn't! Luke: THE MOVIE TRAILER LIED TO ME! Tom: Luke... Luke: THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T THINK CALLING PEOPLE MILFS WAS ALL THAT BAD BECAUSE IT STOOD FOR SOMETHING HARMLESS IT JUST HAD A SLIGHTLY SEXUAL CONNOTATION! Tom: I am entirely unsurprised that this is coming from you. Luke: AJ, DOES IT MAKE SENSE WHY I CALLED THE DIARY OF A WIMPY KID MOM A MILF NOW BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS LITERALLY JUST A DESCRIPTOR WITH FUNNY CONNOTATION! AJ: The word milf has been ruined for me. Sam: THAT'S ITS DEFINITION, IT CAN'T BE RUINED THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS! Tom: Y'all are dumbasses. Tom: I am the left brain, I am the left brain. "I work really hard until my inevitable death" brain. You've got a job to do, you better do it right and the right way is with the left brain's might. AJ: I LIKE OREOS AND PUSSY- Sam: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming? Tom: Can everyone in this godforsaken group please learn the skill called "Think Before You Speak"? Luke: Ya know...it might be. Sam: How do you tell someone that you wanna have sex with them in a polite way? Tom: Excuse me Mx. Would you give me the honours of indulging in sexual activities with you? Luke: What the fuck is wrong with you two? at the supermarket Sam: All right, the last item on the list is "virgin oil." Sam: Sam: Wow. Imagine being an item and still being called a virgin. Tom: Capitalisation is the difference between "I had to help my uncle Jack off a horse.." and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse.." (It was then that Junyu realised...he accidentally turned on NSFW only and that's why the quotes have been so horny.) Sam: Hey! Wanna hear a joke? Tom: Sure. Sam: Your life! Tom: Actually, my life isn’t a joke, jokes have meaning. Sam: Tom, no. AJ: Can you recommend a book that'll make me cry? Tom: General Mathematics 8th Grade Edition. (in reference to that one guessing game where AJ forgot how math worked) Luke: It's locked. You got a lock pick? Tom: Yeah- Sam: *kicks down the door* Luke: They can't make me admit France exists, right? Legally, that's not allowed. Luke: Sure, if France was REAL I'd say I liked it. Luke: But who's to say. AJ: I think France isn't real. Tom: AJ, you used to live in France. AJ: And??? AJ: You gave me up, you let me down, you turned around, and deserted me. Sam: But did I make you cry? AJ: *cries on the spot* Sam: ...Shit. AJ: Why's it called an oven when you of in the cold food and you of out hot eat the food? Tom: ...What??? AJ: What’s your biggest fear? Luke: I am incredibly arachnophobic. AJ, under his breath: You don’t want spiders to get married? Tom: Luke, I think we have a problem. Luke: What, the fire? Tom: No, the- wait, what fire? Luke: Oh forget about it, this sounds more interesting. Sam: Hey Luke, can you give me the opposite of these words? Sam: Always, Coming, From, Take, Me, Down. Luke: Never, Going, To, Give, You- Luke: The fucking satisfaction. Luke: Inside you, there are two kidneys. Luke: I’m gonna steal them. Tom: So my therapist was talking to me and she said that I really just need to break down my walls and let people in. Tom: So I’ve decided to break the fourth wall. Tom: *looks at camera* Hi there. I use humor as a coping mechanism.

[b4mpyre-k1zz3s]

HEYY girl 💗 could I req a bam x fem reader where they’re enemies to lovers becuase y/n is just as reckless as he is?? Thank you 🫶

The Stuntgirl Rule

Bam breaks the one rule the crew all agreed on when they first added a girl to the group, which wouldn’t be as big of a deal if they didn’t hate each other. All this animosity builds and builds until Y/N finally figures out how to knock Bam down a peg.

Bam Margera X Fem!Reader

(Fluff, Angst)

3.8k Words

Warnings: Extremely suggestive content, enemies to lovers, crude language, blood, snakes, misogyny, Madonna-Whore complex, injuries, hospitals, flirting, slut shaming, situationships

An: Thank you so much for the request!! I’ve come to find out I really do love writing for enemies to lovers pairings :) More than that, I got to do a lot of research for this fic with psychological complexes, especially (as the tags indicate) the Madonna-Whore complex!! If you can’t tell by now, I’m a bit of a nerd when it comes to writing XD I also experimented with making Bam a bit of an unreliable narrator in this one to wort of show his thought process better. I’ve been told my writing takes the asshole out of him but I’m pretty sure this fic put it right back in, so be warned! If you want an idea of the dynamic I was going for, the dynamic betwen Bam and Y/N reminded me a lot of this clip from the 2016 revival of the musical, Falsettos! Ah, my theater kid past…But thank you for the request and please keep sending more!!

Kneeling on the grass, you sat eye to eye with the King Cobra you somehow got a permit to film with. The whole “Kiss of Death” stunt got shuffled around to a couple of the other guys before it landed on you but hell, you couldn’t complain- dangerous shit was kinda your thing, and otherwise the next person in line would’ve been Bam and you knew exactly how that would turn out- the yelling, the laughing, the storming off set. All the guys stood around, looming over you with bated breaths as you slowly leaned over the snake, the hot Florida sun beating down on your skin as the air swam with anticipation. But as you were creeping in, right before your lips made contact with the Cobra’s forehead, the thing lunged at your neck. Everybody hooted and hollered as you grabbed the snake and lurched back in an act of quick reflexes, chuckling in surprise, but before you could crack some wise ass joke, your cockiness betrayed you and that smug grin on your face was wiped right off your face when you felt a pair of fangs sink into your wrist. “Agh! Fuck…” Yanking your hand back, you shook out the sting as you stumbled to your feet. Steve, who was serving as impromptu cameraman after Rick ‘refused any part in your dangerous bullshit’, focused the lense in on the blood that was tricking from your arm, “Shit…that’s gnarly, dude.” Though you probably should have been concerned for yourself, you couldn’t stop thinking about how awesome it looked as Johnny patted you on the back appreciatively, “That was great, Y/N!”

As you were getting walked to the medic tent, the only one who didn’t want any part in your little victory parade was Bam, still sitting half slumped back on set, glaring at you as you walked away. Big whoop, girl gets bit by snake. Last week he got on a teeter totter in the bullpen and you don’t see that on any headlines. Maybe he hated the way the guys talked and joked with you like you were one of them even though you joined the Jackass cast less than a month ago. On the other hand, maybe he was still pissed off by the very real but entirely unspoken ‘Don’t Fuck the Stuntgirl’ rule. Of course Bam brought that sorta thing up when you first joined because he’ll there’s a lot you can do once you’ve got a chick in your group, but Johnny quickly shut the idea now by saying since they wouldn’t screw any of the other guys in the crew, they’d be keeping their hands off of you. Keeps things from getting awkward when you gotta see eachother on Monday, you know? But since Bam’s running theory of you only having gotten on set after getting into Knoxville’s pants hadn’t been disproven, he wrote it off as him making the whole thing up to keep the pretty girl all to himself. Greedy asshole. Who was he to say what he could and couldn’t stick his dick into? God, he bet the whole crew was passing you around- behind trailers, in empty hotel rooms, or what about those porta-potties on set…Bam decided to stop thinking about that once some things got stirred in his mind he didn’t really want to think about too long.

Getting bandaged up in the medic tent, you hardly noticed when Bam walked in after everybody left, watching quietly and scanning you up and down from where he stood. He looked from the bruises on your knees Bam was sure he knew the source of, to your baggy clothes that always made you look like a guy with the way they sat on your body, to your hair that was unkempt and showed just how little you cared about your appearance in his eyes. You were the exact opposite of Bam’s type in women- that dark lipstick tight bootcut fantasy goth chick with a great ass that also wasn’t a bitch. Looking up from where you were bleeding through your gauze, you made eye contact with him nonchalantly, “What is it?” Bam’s eye twitched at the disinterested tone in your voice but he kept up the whole smug thing, “You cryin’?” The medic had to scoot out of the way as you leaned in towards him and squinted at the realization that Bam was getting that whole ‘hating you’ stick up his ass again. “Does it look like I’m crying?” Part of him wanted to see you cry. Bam’s eyes drifted back to your hair, thinking about how satisfying it would be to grab a handful of it and yank you to your feet with his lips pressed tight against your ear as he said every awful word he was too nice to say to your face- that he knew everything about nasty hoes like you worked, and while it was cute how quickly the guys took to you, he was getting pretty damn sick of it so it was time for you to get the hint and hit the road. But he didn’t.

The medic passed you a container of pills that you palmed and that’s when Bam got an idea, “That snake oughta be on antibiotics instead’a you.” Scoffing at his unoriginal joke, you cocked your head to the side, “Really? You think a little blood’s that nasty? Y’damn baby…” Outside the tent, there was no doubt amongst the guys that another one of your petty fights were starting and nobody was looking forward to it. Well, except you. You found the little bickering thing you had with him fun, especially with all the weak ass insults Bam threw at you. “I mean, anything that comes outta you’s nastier than whatever Steve-O’s got goin’ on in him- that guy’s a disease nest.” This was too easy. “Yeah, says the guy who let him tongue his ass wound...” Wait, you were at that party too- the one where Steve popped ecstasy and went around kissing everyone cause he ‘felt good’? Bam’s jaw clenched at the way you always had an answer to him- how dare you one up him. He jabbed a finger at your chest, “Oh, don’t talk that shit. You wouldn’t even have the balls to get branded in the first place!” Unable to help yourself from cracking a smile, your giddiness was apparent in your voice, “I got more balls than you do.” As much as you hated how much of a little bitch he could be, you always thought the back and forth thing you had between him wasn't ever that serious (a contrast to the way Bam viewed it). Delight filled you as he stormed out of the flap of the white medical tent, blushing and emasculated and- while he would never admit this, kind of turned on by the angry banter like it was some kinda foreplay.

You needed soap. That’s how it started- after shooting one day, you went back to the hotel and noticed halfway through your shower that the room service lady forgot to leave any of those tiny complimentary soaps. Groaning, you got out of the comfortable, warm, sorely needed shower and put on a towel, thinking you could go next door and get some from the guys. It’s not like you hadn’t seen them naked before, so them seeing you in a towel was no big deal. Water dripped off of your legs as you walked out into the hallway, pushing open the door to their room which was left unlocked. From what you could tell, they had gone to the hotel bar promptly after filming, so you didn’t bother to announce your presence as you walked in. However, you had one major oversight in this- Bam, who you didn’t notice from where he was sitting on one of the beds on the near side of the room. Now, you and him could have gone on just hating and fucking with each other and everything would’ve been fine, but this one incident would change it.

From where he sat on the bed, Bam silently watched as you walked around like you owned the place, softly humming to yourself as you rummaged through their shower- through his shower, the towel you wore riding up dangerously high on the backs of your thighs, skin still glistening wet as you bent over, nabbing a few little bottles of shampoo and conditioner. He glared at you with contempt through your reflection in the mirror. You’d probably do this even if the whole crew was here, wouldn’t you? Just stroll on in, nearly naked, parading yourself around in front of all those dudes like it was nothing. Shameless. He knew better than anything what that kinda porno logic setup would devolve into. Wait- christ, was he…? Oh, oh yeah. Yep. Bam couldn’t believe himself- he was actually getting hard. More than that, you had no clue he was there in the first place even as you turned to leave, and you wouldn’t have noticed him at all if he didn’t stand up to catch your attention. “What’re you doin’?” Turning around, you met Bam’s gaze, maybe six inches away from his body as you held up your towel with one hand and presented him your spoils in the other, “I’m getting soap…?” Unceremoniously plucking one of the bottles from your hands, he squinted at you like he was accusing you of something, “So you think y’can just waltz on in here and take my shit whenever you feel like it?”

Looking around at the empty room, you got an idea to really get under his skin. You know how Bam uses his little rich boy MTV paycheck to get whatever he wants? Well your pockets may not be lined as generously but you still found a way. Taking a step forward, you pressed your body right up against his, the same way you saw all those flirty girls do to him at the bar, letting your towel slip down a little as your voice dropped into a teasing coo, trying to provoke him, “Aww, what’s the matter? You don’t like sharing?” While you were referring to the soap, Bam took it as a double entendre and thought there was no way you didn’t mean it in the way he was thinking- what with the way your chest was squished tight against his torso or how you were practically straddling his thigh in, and this is important here, only a towel. In your eyes, this was the same as any other day you were going back and forth on set, but Bam, oh. He could feel the surge of hormones in his bloodstream as his breath caught in his throat, Adam’s apple bobbing slightly. The way your body was curving against his nearly made him forget about why he hated you so much. Snapping back to reality, he couldn't tell if this was anger or lust that made him speechless, but it was probably a mix of the two. Leaning in closer, you pressed your lips close to your ear, his very obvious state of arousal only fueling your teasing as you words fell slow, melodically from your lips as you enunciated, trying to keep yourself from laughing and fucking it all up. “I’m gonna take this soap back to my room, and I am going to rub it over every inch of my wet. Naked. Body- and you are gonna do nothing about it. So, uh…” Reaching out with a grin, you grabbed the bottle back from Bam’s frozen hand. Now, logic would dictate that this is right about when the two of you would say fuck it and start going at eachother, but that’s not what you had in mind. “Thanks!” Slipping out the door and shutting it loudly, you left him standing there- unable to respond, entirely conflicted, and hard. Fuck.

Why was this happening? He was Bam Margera- Bam fucking Margera- he could have hordes of playboy bunnies folowing him arround wherever he want and fawning over him like their lives depended on it, but noooo. He had to fall for the gross chick he worked with. Perfectly fine, well-adjusted (debatable) women literally threw themselves at his feet on a day to day basis, and the one he’s got his eye set on? Yeah, last week she was doing lines of Tabasco sauce with Steve-O off the table at Denny’s cause they got bored waiting for their food. What a catch. He didn’t even want to meet up with the guys to go pick up chicks at the bar anymore- you know, the civilized kind that wore makeup and shoes you couldn’t skateboard in. And you didn’t even want him the way those girls wanted him- you were messing with his head like some succubus. Very quietly, he sat back down in the bed and thought about some things.

Bam was having a hard time letting everything that was happening with you go- that’s not the kind of guy he is, you know? Too many big feelings in a small package gotta go somewhere. So when he showed up on set the next day, hyped up to do that stunt where he was set to get shot by a riot control shotgun wearing nothing but a leather jacket for protection, his emotions were not in any way subdued when he caught word that Knoxville gave the stunt to you. “Dude!” Storming up to confront him, Bam pulled the asshole away from whatever conversation he was having with Jeff, “I mean, seriously? You got Y/N to do the stunt and not me?” Sticking his hands up in a mercy gesture, Johnny stammered but managed to explain himself, “I’m just sayin, man- It’d work better for her! You know- you have your skating stuff, she’s got the dangerous stuff! You could always watch from the sidelines…” Yeah, real nice save there, Knoxville. Bam hated whenever you did stunts- not because he didn’t like that you were equally as reckless as him, no way- it’s just that he thought chicks shouldn’t be doing dangerous shit, and you were always there to throw yourself in harm's way, and that annoyed him. You were standing off to the side, joking around with Chris and Steve when you felt someone suddenly grab your shoulder from behind and roughly spin you around to face him, “You know, I had some fuckin’ ideas about you, Y/N, but this really takes the cake.” Grimacing, you stood eye to eye with Bam, a little too close to his body to be comfortable. “What the hell are you talking about?” Bam took a step back, eyeing you up and down as he got ready to say what had been eating away at him for weeks. His voice was tense as he nearly growled, “You’re fuckin’ Knoxville.” What?

“Wait, I’m fucking Knoxville?” You certainly were not, but your mind put two and two together lightning fast, tracing his train of thought. It was like a switch flipped in you as rage curled up in your stomach, springing out of your mouth in words that dripped with venom, “Oh, please! You’re probably takin’ it up the ass from all of ‘em!” It was only natural that you would deny it- I mean, it’s kinda taboo for people to admit that they’re sleeping with their boss. But Bam couldn’t summon the words he needed to use to defend himself from what you claimed, so he said the only words his anger-fried brain could come up with, “Fuck you!” Flashing a grin, you got all in his personal space as your voice went from anger to condescension, “Oh, you wish.” Back to the snarky shit with this woman. Okay, maybe he did, but that was none of your business. Bam pressed his lips together as he could feel the tips of his ears heating up, and he couldn’t tell if he was getting flustered from the way you were challenging him or how correct what you were insinuating was. The fact that your lips were nearly touching his wasn't helping either. Taking advantage of your close proximity, Bam quickly reached out and snatched the shotgun from where you were gripping it and dashed off.

Oh, you said Bam had no balls? Yeah, he’s got more balls than the tri-state lottery, bitch. Shoving the gun into Ryan’s hands, he didn’t even notice when Rick started filming from where he was setting up the camera for the stunt you were supposed to do. Stepping back, Bam smacked his own chest twice in a challenging gesture, looking at his best friend but saying words he wanted to say to you, “C’mon, man. Hit me. Do it!” Knowing better than anyone the way he could get into these kinds of moods, Ryan knew the only way to talk him down was to go along with whatever stupid plan he had in mind. Groaning, he steadied the sight on where Bam was standing, aiming for his stomach where it would result in the least damage, and pressed his finger against the trigger. This loud, sickening whip cracking sound made everyone on set jump. The man on the other end of the barrel doubled over with this noise you only hear out of dying animals, falling to the ground with a thump as every ounce of air wooshed out of his lungs in a second. It was the way Bam looked like roadkill with how he curled up on the ground, not making a sound or movement, that made you feel a shred bad for him for the very first time. Looking around, you were the first person to call out, “…Medic?”

Internal bleeding they said. Three broken ribs on account of Dunn’s stellar marksmanship and a gnarly bruise, or so you heard from when the guys gathered around his bedside and were all gasps and oohs after Bam pulled down the sheets in when Steve asked to take a look at it. But after everyone was done grimacing and telling him how awesome the footage would turn out, they flooded out the door and the only person who remained was you, smugly sitting in one of those stiff hospital chairs as Bam lay across from you in his bed, hooked up to electrodes and shit like they do in movies. But there was something different in your eyes as you got up to his bedside- not so much your usual loathing towards him, but more so fascination. Bam got knocked down a peg, and you were satisfied knowing his ego was bruised alongside those abs of his he so loved to flaunt.

Bam’s words came out in a weak mumble as he looked up at you, “What d’you want?” As much as he tried to appear all tough and be a big angry man, you couldn’t help but find the sight of him laying back with his hair a little messy and that glossy look in his eyes from the epidural kinda cute with how vulnerable he was. He couldn’t make fun of you when he was at your mercy like this, what with not being able to even sit up on his own, much less fight or come up with any worthwhile insults. With one finger, you pointed down to the swollen, dark purple mark on Bam’s pale skin, lit up from the light flooding in the window. You nearly snickered, “I wanna touch it.” Crossing his arms over his chest, Bam scoffed at your suggestion, “Fine, whatever….It doesn’t even hurt- oh, fuck!“ Recoiling when you poked the tender bruise, Bam nearly let out a whimper as he winced, pain shooting through his chest. Letting out a breathy groan, he muttered, his head falling back against the pillow, “Don’t- don’t do that…” Part of you wanted to laugh at him, call him a pussy, and go find out wherever the other guys were headed, but another part of you, maybe one you went too eager to own up to, couldn’t deny that he looked kind of pretty when he got fucked up, all fragile and defeated. Like it activated something primal in you, this unconscious attraction towards broken things. You came to the realization that, when that mouth and that attitude of his wasn’t fucking it up, he was pretty hot.

The thing is, both of you liked each other, but neither were too eager to jump at that whole romcom style ‘confessing your feelings’ thing, so for the next few weeks, you tried to keep up the whole hating each other charade. Like when you and him were on the mini-ramp Chris hauled to set with his truck to give you something to do in between filming, and Bam just kept messing up whatever trick he was intent on doing that day. Up he’d go, then down to the plywood with a slam that left him a shiny new bruise- back and forth. “Y’know, it’s a lot easier to do tricks once you’ve learned to stay on your board.” You taunted, kicking up your board to stand on the one side of the ramp. But as he was about to reply with some smart ass response, Bam nailed whatever stupidly over complicated thing he was attempting. “Hahaha! Yes!” Popping his board up with one foot and, turning to you with a triumphant grin, he did one of those victory crotch grabs. “Suck it!” Ignoring the fact that, given the right circumstances, you probably would’ve taken him up on that offer, you rolled your eyes, looking him up and down in a way you hoped looked sarcastic as you spat, “Yeah, in your dreams.” Still, while the venom in your words was still there, it was dulled in a way, like a swallowing a spoonful of sugar after bitter medicine. “Oh, I’d rather rip my dick off and shove it up my ass before I let you suck it!” Bam had the same shitty comebacks as ever.

And the fact that you two were phoning it in wasn’t lost in the slightest on the rest of the guys. They’d try to drop hints to Bam and say that if he’s got the hots for you that it’d be a good idea to try not being an asshole for once, but he’d just laugh them off and tell them that that’s what chicks like nowadays- assholes. But they had no clue. All anyone else knew was that the seemingly boiling hatred you had for each other had melted into a mere simmer, practically friendly banter. Maybe Bam didn’t hit the mark when he said you were fucking the whole crew, but was right about you being shameless, as he would come to find out a few weeks into whatver the two of you had going on. But now, he wasn't one to complain when you pulled him behind a trailer on set, or into an empty hotel room- hell, even into one of those porta-potties on set. Honestly, it was just like how he imagined.

[scarlet-moonlight]

I know this is a league of legends blog but I WATCHED GOT AROUND TO WATCHING ULTRAMAN RISING ON A PLANE FLIGHT because I got obsessed with Ken Sato and the tiktok edits got to me

Like I’ve been reading x reader fanfics about him before I actually watched the movie, and then downloaded the movie so I can watch it on my flight, and now I have THOUGHTS (because its interesting reading the x reader fanfics that people have made about him vs what was actually in the movie)

-Ken Sato is still hot, but also like adorable like that scene where he’s looking at the old video of him and his mom?? He gives me german shepherd vibes I love him and I would give him big smooch

-That scene of him in the bath with the beer can thats EVERYWHERE in the edits and what I thought is like some super serious/hot scene is actually just his mental breakdown lmao

-Wakita’s words about raising her child and how that connected with him and Emi was so sweet. It felt like it was a reoccuring theme throughout the movie, all the way through the end where her saying that “one day the kids will outgrow their toys” felt like a metaphor for Emi finding her real mom in Gigantron

-SPEAKING OF EMI, one thing I loved about the movie/what I think is underrated is how Ken utilizes both Ultraman and Ken’s forms to take care of her. And how there’s little significance in the moments they share. How Ultraman is the one swimming underwater to catch her fish, but Ken is the one teaching her how to play baseball. That kinda stiff. It makes it more personal in that way.

-Also THEY NAMED NAMED AFTER KENS MOM THATS SO SWEET I DIDNT KNOW

-Holy SHIT this movie is gorgeous that is all

-The ending is a bit rushed I think, I was expecting one more wrap up scene after they bring Gigantron and Emi to Kaiju Island, but then the credits rolled and I deadass said “Wait? That’s it?”

-Sequel please where they look for Ken’s mom and Emi being even more of a menance to society then she already is thank you (This movie would’ve been awesome been in theaters, I think that would’ve helped it but its doing great on netflix)

-Also the voice actors and creators know of how thirsty we are of Ken and I am terrified

[pjsk-headcanons]

breaks knuckles we're doing akinene ( •̀ ^ •́ )✧

Context for later stuff: In my mind, WxS have a game where they yell out random parts at each other and do their best to play it for the next five minutes. Mizuki is fully in on this and even participates. (Mizuki theater kid canon TO ME)

Akito didn't realise he was into Nene before she got all confident, and now he's just down bad. Unforch for her, Nene has a thing for Loser Boyfails, now that she is no longer a Loser Girlfail. (To the same extent, at least...) She takes one look at this guy, sighs very heavily, and starts taking notes on how to become his friend. (In a very neurotypical fashion.)

They're bi4bi but lean in opposite directions and are so used to being percived as gay that all of their friends are Very Confused when the resident lesbian and chronically gay guy start making out holding hands - and I say holding hands because they are both embarrased to hell and back. This does not mean they're going to lay off the PDA though. Making your partner embarrassed is the highest form of love.

Before they got together, Nene attempted to act (Y'know. given she's an actress.) like Akito's friends to try and win him over, which means being bubbly and listening to the entirety of both RADder and GLaP days' catalouge trying to figure out how to start a conversation. Eventually she gives up and tries talking about her intrests, specifically a game she knows Toya also likes (Slime Rancher). This is exactly what she needed to do from the beginign because, as stated, Akito is down bad and will just sit there staring in awe while she infodumps.

Nene shows up to a VBS performance in full theatre kid attire and Akito proceeds to buy her an entirely new wardrobe.

Akito is forced to go to WxS performances. Nene begs him not to but Kohane and Toya had already bought tickets and An cant make it so he kinda has to. Half the performances are Nene doing the stupidest shit imaginable (She fills in for Tsukasa on the human canon one time and now Rui thinks it's acceptable to do literally anything to her-) or she's playing the villan and holy shit is he gay straight bi.

Nene unironically says "unforch" and it's begun rubbing off on Akito. Which means Kohane and Toya and Kotaro too. An is sobbing in a corner.

Ena is the last person to find out about this. She thinks Akito just has some random girl on his arm or whatever but she goes to the Shinonome Household one time and Ena's impression shoots up instantly when she finds out Nene is not just a girl, but a Gamer Girl (who listens to n25).

Mizuki jokingly threatens to kick them out of Kamikou's Pride Club for being too straight. An actually threatens to kick them out but bc of the aformentioned WxS game - Rui keeps giving her slutty parts intentionally and boy howdy does Akito fall for it.

Rui: Nene! Kinky assassin! Nene: What gender? Rui: A guy. Nene: On it. (To Akito) Wow I've, um. Dropped my assassin killing gun. Into your dick. D'ya mind if I fish it out? Akito: (Spluttering) An: (Groaning) Toya: (Chuckling) Everyone Else: (Roaring Laughter) Mizuki: Okay, now do it for real. That means not on your boyfriend. Nene: Sure. (Walking over to Rui and holding a Finger Gun below his neck) Wow... Sure would be a shame if I had to feel up your insides, removing any trace of life, raw and bleeding, so all that was left was a variety of products to be sold... (Shrugs) Too bad you wont be awake to feel it. (Shoots Finger Gun) Akito: (Has not said anything and we're not sure he can.) An: (Bemused Laughter) Everyone Else: (A Light Smattering of Applause) Nene: (Mimicking Tsukasa) Now back to talking about that policy that wants to make our existence illegal. Tsukasa: How dare you mock me, a future world star??!! Nene: Yeah, you can't be a star if you get hatecrimed, dude.

They stay up all night playing Splatoon! <3 I love me some gamer gays. They did almost break up over Mario Kart, though...

formatting this on my phone was a mistake... but yah i think thats it for now!! i'll probably think of something else in ten minutes though... from 🎲 anon!! (˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧

.

[drhenryblack]

Finally got some fucking motivation

So, finally, I'm explaining the "Human AU" cause I'm happy my post got attention. And, please, I don't wanna sound cringe or anything but seriously, thank you for the amount of attention I've gotten over my posts, I really appreciate it. Now, time to get going! This story follows our soppy wet cat, dear darling Pomni, who's on a hunt for a part-time job because her job at C&A is not getting her enough money and she can't live on ramen and tap water forever. So, she gets a job at "The Amazing Digital Circus", a circus that uses modern-day technology like holograms and sound effects in its weekly shows. She joins and meets her now co-workers. There's Gangle, your classic introverted theater kid. Zooble, the puzzle master who despite her "I am done with your shit" behavior, is surprisingly good at entertaining kids. Kinger is a magician but also helps in the accounts. Ragatha, the human pincushion, and finally, Jax and Kaufmo, the brother comedians. She, at first, joins as a temporary employee, just ment to help before performance and all that, until she meets...him. Caine, the ringmaster. But what's worse, is that she's seen him, the REAL him. That look haunts her. Those unusually perfect teeth, that cracked skin that haunting feeling of seeing his jaw open abnormally wide. But what's worse is that somehow, he wants to promote her to be a permanent employee, mostly ever since he heard that she worked for C&A...weird... But shit gets a lot worse when one day, she has to stay after hours and sees some shit she dosen't want to. There he was, Caine, surrounded by nearly 50 men, guns, armor, what not. But it didn't last long. She covered her mouth, breath hitching in her throat as he ripped of his skin. 'one...two...three' He grabbed them, and slowly, it all went down... blood...scream...yell...help...muscle...intestine...stomach...teeth...sharp...gun...monster...tears...help...help...help She couldn't move, not one bit. Her body frozen as if ice. Each one of them, each one of them...each one those men...ripped, killed, shredded, broken, yelling. Yes, her life was gonna go to shit. Now she's wondering how the hell she's ever gonna face her boss, who apparently is an AI experiment who escaped C&A, the very place she currently worked for. No wonder he wanted to make her a permanent employee! I mean she knew her jokes were so bad that people laughed at them, but not that much! She doesn't know what to do, but then it hit her... When he got to know she was a C&A employe, why didn't he fire her at that moment? ... ... shit... she's in love with her boss... her life really was going to shit... So know were left with a traumatized Human-AI who's pretending he's not a fucking monster and another traumatized little wet cat wondering how the hell she even fell for him in the first place. And that's as far as I've fucking gotten. Working on a fic and a lot of art. Just waiting to get back home so I can post them. See ya'll, and the next time you'll see me, is with food.

[mayabunny23]

Cringe ass Headcanons about the Don't Starve Together Gang's gender and sexuality

Wilson - Aroace He cares more about science and being a smart ass than he does romance or sex.

Willow - Lesbian She seems like the type of girl that scares men away on purpose... Gremlin woman.

Wolfgang - Aroace He would rather settle down with a friend than a lover. The man also sees most of the people in the group as friends.

Wendy - Aroace She is a kid but even if she was an adult, her grief for her sister is stronger than any love for someone (be is romantic or what not)

WX-78 - Non-binary & Aroace They are canonically non-binary so the obvious is obvious. They don't feel romantic feelings but they can feel many other forms of love... they are not truly emotionless.

Wickerbottom - Asexual Biromantic She wouldn't mind a partner to help her at her library but she might not go with any of the people here... except maybe Wanda.

Woodie - Pansexual More like axe-sexual... Wait wouldn't that make every ship with him a polycule? He loves Lucy but if he was to love someone that wasn't a talking axe, he wouldn't care what gender they are.

Wes - Demiboy & Asexual Wes feels like the type to be referred to with he / them... Be it because of the character he plays or because that's what they refers to themself as.

Maxwell - Bisexual "I miss my wife, Wilson... I miss her a lot... I'll be back." he swings both ways but uh... who wants this pathetic man outside of Charlie?

Wigfrid - Demigirl & Bisexual This queen of theater (Sorry Charlie) uses she / them much the same way Wes does... that and she is just cool like that. Oh and she likes people.

Webber - Demiboy & Aroace His reasoning for being demiboy is because he is literally two beings and the spider is a they / it... also same thing as Wendy, his fixation on bugs and critters is stronger than dumb romantic love. (If he was like an adult)

Winona - Butch [Lesbian] Obvious thing is obvious, she has a girlfriend back on Earth that thinks she's dead. Also like look at her, she is straight up very butch leaning.

Warly - Gay The other side of the spectrum, Warly is probably gay... Totally not because Waokevale and another person influenced me with Warly x Woodie...

Wortox - Aroace Mortal concepts as "love" and "sex" doesn't interest this imp, he is only after chaos and fun.... Also Wortox gives zero DAMNs what pronouns you use on Wortox.

Wormwood - Non-Binary & Aroace The lad doesn't know or really feel that type of stuff [And it's not because he is a "kid", he is an adult.], Wormwood only uses he / him pronouns on himself because they sound nice but he doesn't mind any pronouns really.

Wurt - Aroace Wurt is a kid and she's more focus on creating a merm kingdom and learning to really care.

Walter - Aroace Kid doesn't care about romance but probably had a crush at some point.

Wanda - Asexual Lesbian Wanda doesn't have time to have sex with your mother, she is trying not to turn into dust.

Wonkey - Literally not even a real character.

If you scrolled down this far or read this, thanks! this is probably hell to read for people with like... reading issues (I have some form of it, don't worry)

I might do the DLC characters from Don't Starve next but uh... maybe never, just need to remember they exist.

ALSO!!!!!!! If none of the headcanons suit you then be happy knowing they are HEADcanons and are not real...

ALSO Also... sorry for no art bros, been doodling ocs shit for discord server and no one would be interested in that.

[barrenclan]

RAAINHAAZEE ISSSUEEE

the issue starting with deepdark just going to his murderous colleagues and saying “wanna act with me”… deepdark theater kid is not something i expected for patfw but makes sense.

CUPID RETURN!!! rainhaze and him having a little fun banter… aaaa. i don’t wanna get attached to cupid because what if cupid is also using him but-… silly raccoon guy. the fox also once being one of rainhaze sit buddies hurts :(((

HERE IS THE PAGE!!!! THE BEAST!!! its so fun how many defiancesonas/ocs u fit in here, it’s such a treat to be on patfwcord!!!

DEEPLINGS REAL!!! hyssop looks like such a little shit i love him.. AND DEEPDARK!!!!!!!! him calling them his friends and wishing him warm welcomes.. i’m sure i’m not the only one who didn’t expect him to present himself so.. friendly? but he’s a theater kid so it makes sense, yeah. it being referred to as a family tho… cult red flag?

THEY DISRESPECT FANG?? IN FRONT OF ME?? MY FAMILY??? SHAME!!! JAIL FOR A HUNDRED YEARS!!

BEAR WAS LONGEST CLAWS!!!! thank u patfw discord my ass could have never theorized that hard. i can’t really tell if deepdark just wanted to be dramatic and cool or if he just wanted to spar with his buddies and trashtalk longest claws.. perhaps both..

and especially with the story changing ever so slightly, at first deepdark calling himself his current name and then prowl acting proud of deepdark when in reality he wanted vengeance… history is really what the victor makes of it, isn’t it? and prowl and spike so easily going along.. deepdark really changed them too.

THE QUOTE!! ATE OF HIS FLESH!! DRANK OF HIS BLOOD!!!! HE EATA THE HEARTA!!!! IM SOOOOO EXCITED THIS IS THE TIME THIS IS THE MOMENT AAAAAAAA

yes the rainhaze trauma- love the connections between deepdark’s story and the truth and what rainhaze’s imaginations are and the truth, him imagining dustfeather happily taking a nap instead of bleeding out and him being happy instead of terrified of himself.. and i know it’s meant to be sad for him but honestly.. get her ass rainhaze

i love this page and much like deepdark eats the flesh i shall eat this art and it tastes good. keep up the great work o777

Deepdark is a dramatic king through and through.

God, man, the big cameo panel on page 2 took me so long to finish. But I liked getting to draw all the animal species.

Deepdark is very performative, and with such a violent group, he has to make sure they all feel welcome, and more importantly loyal to him. His lieutenants help enforce that.

All the theorizing about Longest-Claws was so so fun for me. And they caught on so fast! Very nice. Actually, we will in fact learn why Deepdark chose to talk about Longest-Claws and the origins of Defiance in an upcoming issue!

Getting to that quote I thought up all those months ago was a real treat. Here's the original art that accompanied it, for anyone who didn't see it:

[xob1tchs]

hiii i have a request

so its ghostface ethan x reader, but he realizes his friends (the reader, chad, even mindy) are more so family than his real family so he helps them escape his dad and sister

maybe also some smut after they escape idk💀

talk 2 me

fem!reader x ethan landry

warnings; ethan kills no1, fight fight fight!, stabbing, crying, kiss kiss 😘, unedited so spelling and grammar errors

a/n; title inspo :p and i hope u like this bae xx sorry it’s so short…I’m supposed to be sleeping ⚰️

You’re breathing has ceased, maybe your heart has even stopped. Maybe you are dead.

That thought becomes only a dream, something you long for right now – staring at your boyfriend as he waves the mask, and the cloak, and the knife, you’re all to familiar with; in his fists, words an echo, tear soaked face a blur. You can hear your own heartbeat, every inhale an exhale, the clicking of the clock to your left — just not what he’s confessing to. You’re blocking it, mind spinning in an unstoppable circle, thoughts ceasing to process. This can’t be.

“i-im not what you think! ive not hurt anyone, please im not like them”

Chad scoffs to your right, hand wrapped firmly around mindys wrist, who clutches onto Anika in fear “are you fucking kidding me” he protests, nose scrunching in mock disgust, but you know he’s facing the same internal conflict as you. Ethan had become his best friend, and here he was, confessing to the greatest sin.

“w-who’s them” you manage, eyes watering as you look to ethan, but you find yourself unable to maintain the stare.

ethan drops the costume and weapon to the ground, reaching round to grad his phone from his pocket when it pings, a look of fear overtaking his features as he reads over his screen “we have to leave now — they’re almost here” he sniffles, kicking the knife away, taking a weary step forward, palm extending, waiting for you to take his hand.

your throat closes up, watering eyes glancing from his hand to the faces of your friends, contemplating your choices — if his intentions are malicious, you’ll likely die even if you don’t trust him but if you do trust him and he does lead you away, well the chance of living is greater.

so one last look at Mindy, and Anika, and you’re slipping your fingers between his, motioning for them to follow when he begins to tug you away.

your hand is shaking in his grasp, and your body has become grimey, skin coated in thin layer of sweat, and dried blood from a wound that’s been covered now, you’re head is light. you don’t really know what’s happening as you weave through the halls of the old theater, shocked when you bust through an entrance you’d never seen, out into an ally of New York, but Ethan doesn’t stop his mission in leading you away from danger.

As if on cue, you round a corner, ready to be protected by the prying eyes of New York goers, only for your tracks to be halted by a ghost face — two ghost faces.

“oh shit oh shit” Anika squeals, spinning on her heel already, her and Mindy sledding back down the alley, followed closely by chad who turns around to shout for you.

Just as you and Ethan begin to make a run for it, one of the masked killers catches Ethan by the sleeve of his jacket, yanking him away from your grip, slamming him into the alley wall, prompting a shout of distress from you. Your feet move by themselves, launching forward to wrap your hands around the neck of the ghost face, knee meeting their gut. They groan, the sound distorted by the voice modifier and stumble backwards, knocking into the other ghostface.

Your fingers wrap around Ethan’s arm, tugging him up, but you’re quickly ripped away by the hair at your scalp, body hitting the hard and damp cement ground, knocking the breath from your lungs. Your vision is blurry as the ghost face swing at Ethan, knife plunging into his side, prompting a scream that has your eyes widening in horror. They quickly yank the knife out, rising it above their head, preparing to strike again, but they’re cut short when a flying brick smacks into the side of their head, knocking them flat out, their body hitting the ground with a thud.

You crawl forward on your hands and knees, rolling the unconscious body out of the way, coming to slip between Ethan’s spread legs, pressing your palm flat to his wound with a sob, your fingers are shaking when they tap against Ethan’s cheek, prompting him to open his eyes.

His blood seeps through the cracks in your fingers, and you press your other palm on top, chocking on cries as you plead to stop the bleeding “Ethan! ethan please don’t die, please please!” you cry, shaking your head, leaning forward to press your forehead to his when he groans.

“I- I’m so sorry” he mumbles, eye lids fighting to urge to droop closed, voice breathy and shaking “I promise im sorry” his words slurr, breath heavy against your lips, and you coo, shushing him, pressing a gentle peck to his mouth.

“Everything is going to be alright”

[a-narcissists-warren]

haio still on a little anonvoid hiatus ^_^

i'mma just be posting screenshots of all the asks i got so i can clean my inbox and both have them like. go somewhere instead of losing them forever

post is long!!! so click keep reading if you wanna see all the silly stuff ^_^ starting from oldest to newest!

[5th July | </3 okay- like i'm never deleting this from my inbox ever]

[9th July | I'VE WANTED TO LIKE SIT DOWN AND ACTUALLY WRITE A COHERENT TIMELINE OF EVENTS FOR THIS ohuhghr maybe some day......]

[9th July | hhrggrhghrghrghjfdgfhjdbhgjrkhgkjrhgkrjhgkfdjuigj sorgy eye mod i love eye anon but i ain't drawin allat right now]

[10th July | OKAY THIS IS ACTUALLY SO WEIRD WITHOUT CONTEXT.... it was a whole thing from the discord server i don't even know how to begin to explain it. but it was all shits and giggles and i like to think my little self-insert keeps these asks under the bed to look at when feeling down ^_^]

[15th July | secret........ oOOoOoOo i actually don't know if i still wanna do this silly thing... gang should i make this the first magic anon when i get back?]

[18th July | oh shit ummmehhh urmmm also this is old their new anon sign off is a pineapple instead of a lemon because...proshitters be taking emoji combos for some reason. anyways you probably already made the design by now BUUUT.....]

[i wanna have some fun........oohh girrlss just wannna haaaveee fuuunn /lyr ............i still can't believe an anon gave birth canonically]

[20th July | i need to interact with badger more.. <3 warrior cats are literally real bro... vro.... vroanonvodi warrior cats au when]

[26th July | ouh pickly.......... save them. gang look over pickly while i go smoke a pack of cigarettes /silly /ref (i don't smoke) ]

[27th July | aw yeah we're going back to short sleeve tee and baggy pants!!!!!!!!]

[28th July | i think i forgot to reply... sorry aliem mod.........]

[28th July | BRO LITERALLY PREDICTED THE ICE ANON- but really </3 wanted to give him a blanket......ouh i'm sorry princess anon........]

[28th July | girl (gender neutral), i had no idea how to reply, i was not gonna draw myself holding onto a baby or whatever cat breed that is /silly..... so so cute art.........]

[28th July | i would've dropped it, screamed and ran away.... scary bugs]

[30th July | ,,very interesting ask i censored just in case i wanna actually reply to it when i'm back,,,,,, didn't reply at the time cuz it was getting close to august and i didn't feel like i should start something that would've probably taken me a week to complete]

[30th July | thisis part of the convo cupid and sleepy were having........ hgjhggfi]

[31st July | I GENUINELY FORGOT TO REPLY TO THIS ASK.]

[31st July | mermaid anon... no one could make me hate you mermaid anon.... i know a theater kid when i see one and i bow to you to continue the show one day..... sorgy for not replying you're so cool]

[31st July | dear GOD. (eye strain... image darkened.... giggles)]

[31st July | my mf doesn't know how to sew for SHIITT, ily cupid anon mwa mwa /p]

[31st July | licks da rock..........]

[31st July | i don't like bacon surprisingly! i don't like a lot of stuff, you'd be surprised]

[1st August | THIS ISN'T EVEN ANONVOID RELATED GANG??? STOP LOOKING AT MY OLD POSTS THEY'RE UGLY!!!]

[1st August | Dean, i can't believe you still ask]

[1st August | SATURN PIANO...... WAAHHH]

[1st August | SIGH.......................... anonvoid server inside joke]

[1st August | this is based off notepad's portal to earth!! if you guys wanna interact with that go to notepads blog since my self-insert is taking a nap]

[1st August | little do they know..........]

[1st August | they're together in this screenshot cuz i got nothing to say,,,, i'm tired]

[charlottesuzee]

Favorite Animated Film To Watch With You (Modern One Piece X Black Reader)

Monkey D Luffy

- This boy loves The Lion King

- He's watched it at least a million times

- He knows all the words to the songs

- His favorite song is I Just Can't Wait To Be King and trust me, he will scream that shit at the top of his lungs randomly. Your neighbors absolutely hate you and people stare at you two in public but he obviously doesn't care

- He loves watching it with you, and one time, during the Can You Feel the Love Tonight scene, he started play fighting with you line Simba and Nala were doing on screen but when he pinned you to the bed and looked into your eyes, something more escalated.

- Let's just say, he always looks forward to watching it with you again, especially in bed.

Roronoa Zoro

- Luffy dragged him to see Kubo and The Two Strings and he honestly thought it was going to be boring and that he'd fall asleep

- Instead, he left the theater with tears in his eyes and a new favorite movie.

- He was embarrassed to introduce you to it though, when you asked what was his favorite movie. He didn't want you to make fun of him for enjoying something that was considered a kids film

- But when you watched it with him and he saw that your eyes were fixated on the screen in amazement and wonder, he became more at ease and was open to talking about it more and how the movie made him feel like he could be connected to his feelings and realize that he doesn't have to go through grief alone and it helped him deal with losing Kuina.

- Because of this movie, if he ever has a kid with you, especially a son, he wants to name him Kubo.

- He's also trying to learn how to play the shamisen in secret.

Blackleg Sanji

- Most people assume that his favorite movie is Ratatouille but that's just in his top five. His real favorite movie is Lupin the Third: Castle of Cagliostro.

- He sees himself in both Lupin and Clarisse, with him wanting to save a lady in need and he himself wanting to be rescued from his terrible home life.

- No matter how many times he's seen this movie, it still leaves him bawling. He tears up in the opening when he hears the films theme Fire Treasure, he cries when Clarisse is being mistreated by the Count, he cries when Lupin finally saves Clarisse and he absolutely sobs at the end, when Lupin says goodbye to Clarisse.

- Doesn't like to admit it, but he loves watching The Count's demise because the Count looks like and acts like his father.

- If you ever marry him, he'll insist on you wearing a wedding dress that resembles Clarisse's and will want Fire Treasure as your dance song for your wedding.

Charlotte Katakuri

- His favorite film is A Monster in Paris. Something gets accused and judged of being a horrifying monster because of how they look ? That's him to a T.

- He found this movie when he was younger, by accident. It was family movie night and he and his siblings were trying to figure out what to watch when Daifuku suggested that they watch something new and unheard of and Perospero decided to pick A Monster in Paris because it sounded like it was interested.

- Most of his siblings walked away from the movie uninterested and unaffected, but not him. The movie touched his soul and became his instant favorite.

- He used to like watching the movie when eating donuts, alone, wondering if anyone could ever love him like Lucille loved Francoeur.

- Then he met you. He was hesitant to watch the movie with you at first, because he thought you'd judge him for loving a kids film but when he saw that you actually enjoyed the film, he felt his heart swell.

- Shortly after watching the movie, he removed his scarf to show you his face for the first time and was overcome with joy and relief when you accepted him. Him watching the movie with you gave him the confidence he needed to move forward with you.

- He'll shyly ask you to do a couples cosplay with him as Lucille and Francoeur for Halloween and even has a pretty, custom blue scarf made for the costume that he wears sometimes.

Eustass Kid

- He just saw it on Netflix one day and watched it because he was intrigued by the animation style. After watching it, he quickly called you over to watch it for a second time. You were confused when he asked you to come over and watch a movie called Mutafukaz.

- Kid is a sucker for movies with unique styles. He'll deadass grab you by the shoulders and explain to you why a gang leader who speaks in Shakespeare quotes is one of the coolest things he's ever seen.

- Vinz and Angelino also remind him of him and Killer, with the way the two are ride or die for each other.

- He will fight people online for saying that this movie is a bad movie and will also buy the comics the movie is based off of. He might also try to get you to dress like the main characters love interest, Luna, since he thinks you'd look good in a gothic Bratz doll type style.

- He's mostly into the movie because of the animation style and the creative choices of writing and characterization, because deep down, Eustass Kid is a creative type at heart.

Killer

- Heavy Metal is one of his all time favorite films, mostly because of how well the music went with the animation on the screen.

- A majority of his playlist comes from this movie. When you asked him why his playlist is full of old school rock songs, he grabbed your hand, took you to his room, sat you down, and without another word, turned on Heavy Metal.

- His favorite songs from the movie comes from his favorite scene. Queen Bee by Grand Funk Railroad and I Must Be Dreamin by Cheap Trick in the segment So Beautiful & So Dangerous, when the aliens abduct a female stenographer from the Pentagon and she falls in love with a robot while the alien pilots do space cocaine. He thinks it's the funniest thing ever and even though he's insecure about his laugh, he'll still burst into chuckles during the scene.

- Kid was actually the one who showed him this movie when they were teens. Let's just say that the introduction to heavy metal rock music and women drawn in such detailed ways awakened something in them at a young age. You don't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing, but it gave you the Killer you know and love today.

Law

- You actually picked this movie out to watch for a date night and he ended up loving it.

- At first, he thought that it was just going to be some silly kids film but was quickly captivated by the metaphors, the character designs, the symbolism, the music.... and he related to Jack more than anything.

- When Jack's heart started burning at the sight of Miss Acacia, he realized that's how he felt when he met you. When Jack started tearing out the screws of his heart out of anguish, that's how he felt when he lost Rosiante.

- Law would never admit it, but he actually teared up at the end of the movie. He was grateful it was dark, because he didn't want you seeing him cry over a movie with a boy with a clock for a heart.

- The movie made him realize some things about himself and learn how to just let go of all of his pain and hurt, instead of clinging to it and letting it fester and realize that he can start a new, and let himself be happy, with you.

[tobiasdrake]

Most Harem anime present everyone as an option for the protagonist, though sometimes there is preferred option or head girl.

In Ranma 1/2, as you said, the harem is generally there for the sake of antagonizing Ranma and Akane's relationship like the rivals. Infact even the fathers tend to get in the their children's relationship.

The Ranma/Nabiki engagement plot was in both the manga and anime. In the manga, Nabiki had even more outrageous behavior such as trying to pimp out Ranma to Shampoo, Ukyo and Kodachi. The anime version removed/replced this scene, in line with Nabiki being generally nicer in the anime like Shampoo and several others.

Both the manga and anime reveal that Nabiki was not actually interested in being Ranma's fiance and her plan was Akane would buy him back from her, she actually thinks she went too far when it seems she broke them up for good.

Yeah, I remember Nabiki pimping Ranma out to the other suitors. Again, something that didn't really bother me as a kid because I didn't really understand it, but looking back as an adult it's like "Wow, that's super gross."

As I recall, Ranma 1/2 was kind of just. Like that. It's kinda like 8-Bit Theater. Nearly every character is an extreme over-the-top caricature of an asshole in one way or another, and the comedy is driven by the wild antics these characters inflict on each other with their behavior.

The main male protagonist is a guy whose dad absconded with him when he was little and promised his mom that he'd chisel him into a REAL MAN, and if Ranma fails to meet a certain threshold of masculinity then they'll both commit ritual seppuku. His mother even carries the seppuku blade with her whenever she comes to visit.

His father's method of teaching him masculinity is by training him in esoteric martial arts, such as tying a bunch of fish to him as a child and then throwing him in a pit full of cats - An unconventional form of training, to be sure, but one that successfully awoke in Ranma a deep and profound... uh... fear of cats.

The main female protagonist is a bitter misandrist who hates men because one day an unwanted harasser at school made a declaration that any man who wants to date her must first defeat her in a fight. Naturally, all the boys listened to him rather than, like, asking her opinion.

So now every time she goes to school, she has to physically fight off assaults from harassers trying to beat the shit out of her and declare their love. Consequently, she has a deep and frothing hatred for the entire male gender. But also, like, you get where that's coming from. I'd probably hate all men too.

And those are the two most sympathetic characters. It's a rabbit hole of broken people expressing themselves by trying to murder each other by way of mystical arts where you blast your foe with weaponized self-pity or erasing each other's memories with amnesia shampoo. One time Ryoga tried to cast a love spell on Akane that would make her fall for him but then accidentally hit Ranma instead. Genma created two entirely separate Forbidden Arts for breaking into people's homes and stealing all of their shit. There's an entire set of cursed springs all in one location carrying various curses based on whatever drowned in them in ancient fable, including a pig, a cat, a duck, a statue, an octopus (!?), and a yeti riding a bull while carrying a crane and eel.

Ranma 1/2 was a fucking trip. XD