#also tho why did the bads not take the gun off him as soon as he shot himself

[amyispxnk]

I'd do whatever I could do

Summary - you're staying with Joel now, trying to figure yourself out and leaving the QZ to visit some of his friends

A/N: oh my god, I finally did it y'all - finally made the part two for this 👏 Also, I was going through the lyrics of this song and I kind of realised just how daddy issues Joel it is. I'm not gonna list them, but there are definitely a good few lines that stuck out to me. A part 3 might be simmering. We'll see.

Pairing: platonic/father figure!Joel Miller x f!reader (could probably be read as GN tho?)

Word count: 1.8k

Warnings: violence, mentions of past abuse, PTSD, alcohol mention, language, angst, pet names, comfort, paternal issues, very brief mention of a gun

DO NOT COPY THIS FIC IN ANY WAY PLS AND TY.

Part 1 here

You reckoned you had stopped really taking the words in a few seconds after he slammed the door behind him, immediately shrinking back into the couch where you'd previously been sat staring into space, whilst he told you things about his day.

Your eyes darted up at him quickly, lip quivering already. You still didn't know exactly why. Why small things like him touching you too abruptly, raising his voice (never at you, but for some reason it still affected you), loud noises like a door slamming, affected you. But they really did, and he'd come to notice it after only a few days of you staying with him.

--

He came back home after a long, difficult, tiring deal. Since your arrival and staying at his place had been so recent, his old habits remained. One of them was to practically shout and stomp his foot in anger as soon as he got back from a trade went south, a bad day out.

"Fuck!" He had gritted through clenched teeth as he threw his bag on the floor, deadset on getting into the kitchen to his whisky to muffle the frustration of the day.

You froze in complete fear and horror as he rounded the corner, his eyes immediately falling onto your trembling figure, clutching the little food packet in one of your hands as your own eyes stared back at him, bulging out of their sockets.

"Shit." He muttered to himself, taking a few steps towards you - not expecting you to immediately drop the packet and raise your hands in front of you, almost cowering before him.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry Joel p-please, I don't-" You stuttered, eyes welling up with tears as you flinched when he took another, more careful, step towards you, already apologising even though you didn't know what you had done.

"Hey, hey, hey. 's okay," he soothed. "C'mere sweetheart. It's okay." And somehow the sound of his voice, so gentle just for you, comforted you immediately.

You stepped into his open arms, body shaking hard with sobs as you choked on your own tears. "I'm sorry." You said, muffled into the fabric of his flannel.

"I told you it's okay. What happened, sweet girl?" He hugged you tight, right hand coming up to rub soothing circles into your back.

"I don't know." You murmured, unsure of what set you off so badly.

"It's okay baby, we'll figure it out. You're okay now."

--

That was the first time it had happened, now you were here again. He'd slammed the door, although he wasn't angry. It was just something he did out of habit to ensure it closed properly, but after he saw you shaking like before on the couch, his brows knitted in worry.

"What's wrong?" He asked, a hand coming to rest on your shoulder as you turned to face him slightly, jolting - not as aggressively as you used to - at the touch.

"Nothing. Just- you slammed the door. I think it's one of those.. trigger things you were talking about."

Naturally, Joel had racked his mind and scoured the dozen odd books he had in his apartment to try remember anything about this kind of mental health issue and the things you'd gone through, finally landing on some sort of PTSD. He'd explained it as best he could to you, telling you that the things like someone raising their voice at you and loud noises were 'triggers', things that reminded you of the times with your dad and made you feel that same fear you'd feel with him all over again.

"Right." He nodded, brushing your hair back and out of your eyes a bit. "'m sorry, sweetheart. I'll try not to do it again, yeah?"

You hummed a noise of agreement, making a space beside you for him to sit down on the couch.

He did so and cleared his throat. "Got some news," he began "'s nothin' big, really. Just thought you oughta have a bit of notice."

You turned to face him a little more as he looked up and met your eyes. "I have this deal, with a guy in Lincoln, and I'm due to go see him next week." He told you.

"So.. you're leaving?" You questioned, trying not to seem too hurt by it.

"No, no. I mean- if you don't want to come with me, then yeah, but I'll be back within the month. I just.. don't feel too safe leavin' you here." He explained, and you nodded.

"I don't want you to go. I'll- I'll come with you." You mumbled, and he gently tilted your head up to face him again.

"You're gonna be okay out there? Y'ever been out of the QZ before?" He asked. If you hadn't ever been outside then things could be quite difficult. It would be scary for a young thing like you. Not only that, but you had your triggers, and the gunfire paired with the infected would surely set one of them off - that's why he'd tried putting the entire trip off, but he had to go. That was how he made his living around here, he needed those supplies.

"Mmhm. I've also killed a few infected before, if you're worried about that. Not gonna be completely useless, I'd say." You said with a small chuckle, leaning into his touch subconsciously.

"Okay." He nodded, stroking your cheek gently before standing up and going over to the kitchen to make something for dinner. "And you're not useless, sweetheart, not at all."

-----

Bill and Frank. That's who they were. Bill was the guy he actually had the deal with, Frank was the one who'd convinced Bill to go along with it in the first place. Frank was the nice one, Joel had told you.

He'd explained a bit before you'd left and more when it came up in conversation as the two of you walked. In and out of forests, weaving between trees, trudging down dirt roads and kicking rocks, on your journey to Lincoln.

A journey that you still would've been able to complete within a day on foot, but that was before the apocalypse. Now there were buildings falling over eachother, and guards near your place of departure which slowed you down, and clickers and the likes which ensured you had to be completely silent in your movements, extending the time of your journey by at least 50%.

You watched as he slaughtered them all though. It should have scared you, at least a little, but it just amazed you. Admittedly, it had shaken you when you saw him completely beat one of the FEDRA guards to death when you were making your way out of Boston. You'd been caught, a guard that wasn't supposed to be there was there and Joel wasn't careful enough.

Things were almost okay, you probably could have haggled your way out of that situation, but when the soldier made a comment about you, a comment about what they might do to a 'bad girl' like you for sneaking out of the QZ, he had simply seen red. He didn't even know he had lunged for the man until he was on top of him, the crunch of the soldier's jaw and Joel's fist coming down on his face bringing him back to reality.

He was protective of you, and rightfully so, and you didn't even care how aggressive he could get with it. He wanted to keep you safe, and would go that far for it, therefore he cared about you. Someone actually cared about you.

"Okay, I think we're gonna stay here for the night." He said, pulling you out of your thoughts as you gave him a small smile.

"Okay."

You both set up a makeshift camp, eating whatever you could spare from your stash of food before getting ready to go to sleep - him denying your offer to take watch like he did before and he'd do everytime.

You sighed, walking off and quickly settling into the sleeping bag, melting into it and relishing the warmth it offered you as you hugged yourself to sleep, body heat almost suffocating you but in a comforting way.

--

When you woke up, you thought you actually were suffocating, throwing the cover off of you and crying out his name, the only person you could think of to save you. He was going to get you, he was back, he was coming for you and he'd never leave you alone, he'd take you from Joel and then he'd k-

"Hey, hey. That's not gonna happen, sweetheart, come on, come over here." You didn't realise you were saying those things out loud but it didn't matter as you crawled out of your sleeping bag, letting him pull you into his lap as he cradled you, rocking you back and forth as he kissed your head.

"It's okay, it's okay. Did ya have another nightmare?" He asked, voice calm and low as he tried to comfort you and calm you down.

You nodded quickly, sniffing and breathing erratically as you did.

"Sweet girl. It's okay now, it's okay." He reassured you, hugging you tight and pressing more kisses into your hair. "I won't let anything happen to you, you know that."

"I know." You said quietly, voice cracking as you wiped at your tears. "I'm sorry." You said, somehow in a voice even quieter than before.

He sighed, breathing slowly and deeply - something he knew helped, as he noticed you'd start breathing in time with him to ground yourself, regulate your own breathing during these situations. "Don't go and apologise when you haven't even done anything wrong, sweetheart. You're going through a lot and you're probably still processing everything that happened, it wasn't that long ago when you were still.." he didn't want to remind you of anything too sensitive, trailing off slightly. "Point is, it's all fairly fresh, and it's natural things like these nightmares are gonna be happenin', so don't apologise, okay?" He said, looking into your glossy eyes and brushing your tears away.

"Yeah. I'm-" You were already going to apologise again, making him frown slightly. "Thank you, Joel."

"It's okay. You try get some more sleep now, okay?" He gently helped you off his lap and pulled the sleeping bag back on top of your body, knees cracking as he got back up to walk away to where he was taking watch - when your voice called out for him again.

"Can you stay with me? Please, Joel? I'm just- I'm scared." You mumbled, face growing hot with embarrassment at how pathetic the question felt now you were speaking it aloud.

He pressed his lips together, turning his head to check the area once more before getting his own sleeping bag, placing it by yours, and resting his arm behind your head as you tucked your face into his chest.

"Goodnight." He said softly, stroking your hair slowly.

"Night, Joel." You mumbled into the soft fabric of his shirt, before passing out again, leaving him to lay alone with his thoughts in the cool night.

Thank you sm for reading, I hope you enjoyed! Likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated and requests are open! 💞

Tags - @rosierogie @jjlevin

[mistypsych]

ANATOMY OF A CRIMINAL - CHAPTER 4

/ yoongi / suga / agust d /

summary: as a doctor you never expected to be dragged into “the criminal life”, nothing and no one seems to be true anymore, your whole world turns upside down after you save him.

pairings: yoongi mob boss x f.reader x non idol bts members.

warnings: smut, guns, knives, stabbings, blood, gore, murders, drugs, criminals, gang life, medical emergency, illness, abuse, swearing, angst, dubcon, gang violence, corruption, manipulation, lies, cheating - 18+ minors dni.

Note: Hi! This is an attempt of writing a fanfic long after writing anything at all. Please also keep in mind English is no longer my first language and it might be a bit rusty and odd at times but I try my best. As promised slowly we have reached the chapters where Suga will be usually taking the main lead! Sorry it took me a while and this chapter might be a bit rough but work has been hectic. If you enjoy the story please leave a comment. They are very motivating.

Blood pulsed in your temples, feeling it flow mercilessly threw your veins, you threw the brunette a annoyed look. Knowing that there was seemingly no backing out, you sighed, picked up the medical bag and tossed on the banged up table.

“If you want proper care so badly I would recommend investing in some decent furniture at least. Everything here in general screams sepsis guaranteed…” you muttered shaking your head. The whole place was creepy as if someone took it out of a horror movie. Surely not a great environment for any kind of medical procedures. But why did you care? Maybe this was the way to get rid of the viper himself? A infection? Everyone knows those could turn out to be deadly.

Shaking off the intrusive thoughts you started to prep. After disinfecting your hands and tossing on some sterile gloves you looked at the man standing next to you, and wordlessly pointed your hand to the wonky table. Your face was written with disgust and discomfort. This was not a way to treat patients and it made your skin crawl. If you were at a war zone it would be a totally different scenario. But you weren’t, were you? And a big shot, bad, gang boss has you work on him here instead in some fancy spot? Unbelievable.

When he laid down on the table, you could see a small grimace show on his face. Of course he made sure it was gone right away. There was no way he would let himself show any weakness. It made the end of your lips curl into a smirk. It never stopped to amaze you how men usually had the need to seem unfazed by pain.

“Lift your back up for me a bit…” you said calmly. When he did as you asked, you rolled up his slightly blood soaked t-shirt, uncovering the source of the red stains. A couple of stitches have came undone. Surely he was not resting much since you sutured his wounds. You weren’t able to contain the annoyed sigh that slipped out of your mouth. Such a nerve wrecking, masterpiece of a job ruined because this asshole had to mess about.

“Well… now you will end up with bigger scars. I can’t stitch it as tightly as before. Surely it got dirtied up in the process of whatever you were doing… so I need to have the sutures looser in case of any infection. It will need to have space to come out. Also looking at the fact that you ripped these… you will be better off with looser ones…” you mumbled unpleased. You prided yourself in swift work and minimal scaring, but of course this individual had to fuck up things up.

“Just make sure it holds. I need to be… mobile… and as much as I enjoy looking at your pretty face, I’d rather not have this sort of meeting anytime soon.” after these words he smiled at you. Clearly he was enjoying getting under your skin. You helplessly clenched your fists to the point your gloves let out a squeaky sound. He had a sort of effect on you and you did not like it one bit. You worked with pain in the ass clientele before, but normally you were able to completely contain yourself.

Agust-D tho… he irritated you on whole new level. He was a smart ass, full of confidence, who clearly knew how to poke people to get a reaction. Letting a breath out threw your nostrils, you braved yourself as much as possible. You could not let him take control over the situation. Turning to your bag, you shook your shoulders a bit. Focus is what you needed. Taking the vial of local anesthesia, you pulled the needed amount into a small syringe.

You looked at his toned stomach. Even with the wounds, it was clear he was in shape. Blinking your eyes, you pulled yourself back into reality. You stabbed the needle into him, a bit harder than you needed to. He let out a quiet groan and shot an icy stare at you. He was well aware, you were purposefully hurting him more than the process required. “Bit rough hands eh?” he seethed threw his teeth.

Sitting yourself down on the rusted stool, you gave him the sweetest of smiles, as you chimed “Feel free to change to a different doctor. Would you like me to get you some recommendations?”. Lifting a brow, he let out a low chuckle while shaking his head slightly in amusement.

“Now. Don’t move.” you ordered him coldly. Pinching hard on his skin, you checked if the injected spots were completely numbed out. Not earning any reaction from his side, you hummed quietly. Truth be told you were a little bit disappointed that the meds worked so quickly, you kind of hoped that pinch would’ve hurt at least a little.

As your skilled fingers were slowly working on each suture, you could feel his stare roam over you. Beads of sweat started to creep down the nape of your neck. His whole persona made you nervous. You could not put a finger on it but something about him felt off. Yes, he gave that criminal vibe, but also there was a weird feeling of calm surrounding him. Some things just did not seem to go together.

You were carefully tying up the last stitch “Last one…” you said quietly, still focusing yourself on the task. “Quite skilled hands you have doc. No wonder you managed to bring me back from the dead that night” his voice was gravely and echoed around the room. It made a shiver crawl up your spine. You shook it off with a shrug of your shoulders. You were not about to let some strange gangster have any sort of control over you. This whole situation and your bodies uncontrolled reactions, were starting to get on your nerves.

Pushing yourself away from the table, you winced at the screeching sound of the chairs legs, rubbing on the concrete floor. It slipped your mind that you weren’t sitting on one of your comfortable stools, that actually had wheels on them and made moving around way easier. “Done…” you took off your gloves and started to collect all the articles and tools you used.

Yoongi lifted himself up slowly and pushed his shirt down. Not turning your head towards him, you stated “Would be wise to change…” your sentence got interrupted by his rustling around. Allowing yourself to peek, you saw his shirtless back. It was pale but carved with subtle muscles. He wasn’t ripped like a gym fanatic but his body seemed naturally slim and toned. “Just like Hoseok…” you commented in your mind and quickly shook your head disapproving your own thoughts. Why would that even pop up in your brain?

“Well we need to manage a check up visit…” his silky voice ripped you out of the whirl of anxiety that was starting to form in you. Furrowing your brows and wiping off your hands with disinfectant, you give him a stern look “Plan on blasting up my stitching again?” he grinned at you while buttoning up his Hawaiian styled shirt. You felt relieved you didn’t have to stare at his bare chest and abs.

“Nah, but usually these things get checked up no? Also I’d rather not remove the sutures myself so…” you glared at him and shot out “Have Kook do it… I am a too busy for this…”. He stared straight at you, tilting his head to the side and running a finger over the table while moving your way. “I thought we discussed this… do we really need to push back to square one?”

There was seemingly no way this guy was giving up. You looked up a bit at the dark, tall ceiling. The big spiderwebs around the corners made the place even more gloomy. A breath loudly came out of your lips. You grabbed and squeezed the bridge of your nose, trying to compose the annoyance that was threatening to creep from within your whole being.

As if reading you, he huffed a bit and ran his fingers threw the thick lock of his hair. “I am being considerate and letting you chose the time. You should know by now, I can simply have someone escort you from the hospital…” you were clearly testing his patience at this point, you could not help but get defensive in this whole fucked up situation. Gritting your teeth and stuffing forcefully things back to the bag, you replied “Wooow how thoughtful of you! How did I get so lucky to run into such a compassionate human being like you?”.

His already black eyes seemed to get even darker, as he stood so closely that he towered over you and said slowly “As much as I enjoy when people are capable of using sarcasm, you are starting to get on my bad side doc…” rolling your eyes you mumbled quietly under your breath “So there is a good one?” and of course it came out louder then intended. A chuckle filled the room “Stick around for longer and you just might find out” he winked with a sheepish smile on his face “But going back to our discussion… check your little calendar and let me know…”

As you were about to make another comment, he grabbed your bag and started walking towards the exit “Come. We should get you back home…” he threw over his shoulder. Your feet helplessly followed behind him. The effect this creep was holding over you, started to freak you the fuck out. Reality of how utterly screwed your life will be in the nearest future hit you like a bag of bricks. What the hell did your friend drag you into? But most importantly what could you do to get out of this?

A slam of a car door, woke you from the badgering thoughts. You had no recollection of how you got outside already. You were really losing focus and spacing out due to all the shit that was thrown your way. To your surprise the raven haired mobster was climbing into a black Hyundai Palisade from the drivers side while telling you to get in.

“You’ve just been stitched back up again and you plan to drive?” you asked, a bit taken aback. He gave you a look that made you finish the discussion and climb in the passenger seat. Your bag was tossed on the back. This whole predicament was getting absurd. Never in a million years would you have thought, you’d find yourself in a car with a mafia boss. Clearly the world was putting you threw some sort of messed up test.

Yoongi drove the car smoothly out of the alley. While on the main street, he opened the window slightly and pulled out a cigarette. Seeing that made your blood boil, so without thinking you ripped it out of his mouth and tossed it passed his face. Your action clearly shocking him. Giving you a side eye he commented “you’re a piece of work, aren’t you?”.

Realizing what you did, you bit your lower lip and looked forward. You decided no answer was the best answer. Feeling his eyes on you made your skin prickle, so finally you decided to speak “Eyes on the road! I simply don’t like being locked up in a small space, while someone smokes. You can poison yourself without dragging my lungs in the process…”.

He smiled lightly “Always speaking your mind hm? Quite refreshing. Most people don’t speak much around me”. You arched your brows in a way of asking, if he was trying to insinuate you better shut your mouth. “As I said… it is refreshing. Besides I like ladies that have fire in them” he chimed. “Whatever…” you sighed, deciding to keep quiet the rest of the way.

*** *** *** *** *** ***

Half of a block before your building you asked him to pull over. When he gave you a questioning look, you explained you’d rather your fiancé not see you getting out of some suspicious looking car. Your response made him laugh as he leaned an arm over your seat giving you a mischievous glare “Scared your little Hoseok might think you got yourself some sugar daddy to spoil you?”. Without thinking you grabbed your bag and simply stated “Next Friday I can do your check-up”. Without waiting for his answer, you jumped out of the SUV.

You could feel his gaze before you were able to disappear at the corner. Letting out a breath you had no idea you were keeping in for such a long while, you felt a bit relieved. That was until you got inside your apartment to be ambushed with a “Where the hell were you Y/N?” Hobi was standing in the hallway shooting daggers at you, his slim arms crossed over his chest. You could see he was greatly upset.

You looked at the clock on top of the entrance to the kitchen. Of course it was fucking late. “I asked where were you? Do you know what time it is?! I was worried!” his tone was full of irritation and that was the moment something in you snapped. How dare he stand there and get on your ass while he was the one to be meddling with this forsaken gang himself. Just thinking about his lies made you lose it and get ready for the fight of your life “I WAS WITH YOUR BEST BUDDY AUGUST-D!” as the words hit him, his face dropped but you continued your attack “RING A BELL DON’T IT MR DETECTIVE HUH?!”.

Hoseok’s face turned pale as all the blood flew to his brain. How the fuck did you know? Did you just say that? Did you actually throw Augst-D’s name out there? Did you fucking find out and how? All these questions ambushed him at once, so all he could let out was a quiet and completely confused “What… what did you just say Y/N…?”

@wobblewobble822 @nansasa @nochook @kootieful @kooslilhoe @yoongisducky @xjiminsthighsx @danielle143 @llallaaa @idkjustlovingbts @darcyw16

[engagemythrusters]

Okay ep4 time to roll my eyes

Hhh

Okay I’m bored already. Sabine is saving grace of the show. This is boring

Awww she’s calling for her mom 🥺

God I like this planet but. Overall for this show I hate it. Because the LACK OF COLOUR IS BAD

UM EXCUSE ME?!

You are NOT leaving ezra behind

You can explode thrawn if he gets back. BUT YOU WILL NOT FUCKING ABANDON EZRA.

I miss clone wars Huyang. When ahsoka rebooted him she took all his personality out and trashed it.

Shin Hati ur sooo cute.

Reeeeally hate shins hair tho. So 2020s.That won’t age. That’s going to stay 2020s and when people watch this in 20 years they will rightfully make fun of costuming.

Disney pay people to give a shit about this please

I’m so sick of Ahsoka’s shitty ass lekku and montrals

“Relax” YOU JIST TOLD HER TO ABANDON HER BROTHER

Jumpsca—yep. Knew it. Disney cares about nothing except shock value

SABINE N HER GUNS in her ARMOUR

THIS IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR

THIS JS WHAT I WANTED

AAAAAH

okay bored again now.

“Stay together” lines sooo stupid. Rolling my eyes.

I could write better in my sleep.

JACEN MY BABY BOY

Ghost?!

GHOST?!

Rip that guy he doesn’t get paid enough

GHOST

He’s sitting where his brother used to sit where his father used to sit. I’m not okay. I’m truly not.

Where… is the ghosts colour.

Where’s the yellow.

Also why… is that guy around again. Do we NEED mando refs.

AW JACEN PULLED IT

Bored again.

Baylon is interesting tho. I want to know more about him and Shin.

Kay stupid action scene. Bored. Zoning out.

I love cranberries tho I’m having a cranberri orange scone that I made from scratch. So tasty. Burned at the bottom bc my oven doesn’t work right (the airflow is very poor). But the orange glaze j made mostly covers it.

Ooo tree destruction

Okay all that twirly for nothing is so stupid

Oop so Marrok was just. Nightsister magic. I figured as much.

Buff Santa will protect the map

Oh this bitch knew anakin?

Ofc everyone knew anakin he was a bitch that never followed protocol

Buff Santa Baylon is very interesting

WHY DOES SHE HOLD THEM FORWARD

AHSOKA *DOES NOT HOLD HER LIGHTSABERS FORWARD*

IM SO MAD EVERY TIME SHE FIGHTS BC THEY DO IT *WRONG*

If they can’t do it right. DONT DO IT AT ALL.

This should have been animated. This should not have Filoni. This shouldnt be set so far back in the timeline.

Hhh when do we see ezra.

I don’t care about this I want exra

OH FINALLY BACKWARD HOLSING

Nope

Spoke too soon

Sabine putcher helmet back on

Hehe

Kanan and Fenn Rau taught her that 🥰

OH RIP SHIN

Oop buff Santa big mad

Don’t destroy take it

Take it YOU NEED EZRA

is shin really dead tho that would be bad and make the show boring

She’s not like Ahsoka. She’s like Hera. She’s like Kanan. She’s like Ezra. She’s like her family.

Oh no… clan wren…

Oh no…

Tristan…

Oh my god hera and Jacen and chopper and zeb are all she has left. All. No wonder she wants ezra back so so much. Even much more than before.

Stab his hand STAB HIS HAND

nooo sabine WOULDNT

No she would NOT

Oh butt

Sabine wouldn’t do that.

Ghost

Where’s the yellow for the ghost?

Oh my god

Sabine wouldn’t have done that

Well now she’ll be inside the ship tho

She’ll go to ezra

Ezra I miss you so much. I hope we see you soon <3

Gonna run right thru em all except hera bc she’s in the middle

Interesting. But predictable. Did we all expect that? Yes we did!

Crunchy.

Jacen baby you shouldn’t be here

IF THEY END UP NOT OKAH ILL BE SO SAD

Okay good good

“I’ve got a bad feeling” oh he’s like his brother he’s like his father I’m going to cry. I don’t… I can’t…

Wow great shot of Bad Lekku And Montrals

Sparkle water

WORLD BETWEEN WORLDS

Is she dead?!

SHE CAN WALK TO EZRA

..: she man save Kanan…

HELLO SNIPS

How is he full body tho he’s dead

Where’s his scar?

DID THEH CGI HUM UOUNGER

I HATE THAT SO MUCH

OH

The MUSIC

Wow and ofc they cut it off right as it gets interesting

Kay. Bored now.

[barkjunhee]

2 minutes in and i’m already crying... this is going to be a wild ride

[24hlevi]

Hello! Can you please do the "reacting to you dying" but with Mikey and the others? I love your writing<3 take care!

i miss writing for tokyorev tbh send more

also here's shinichiro and izana bc why not i like them its a lil family

also its long oops but heres a post tho after like 3 months 🙌

— Tokyorev Boys Reaction To You Dying Pt. 3

Tokyo Revengers Boys (Mikey, Shinichiro, & Izana) X Gn!Reader

Warnings: Language, Suicide in Shinichiro's, Murder

Sano "Mikey" Manjiro:

mikey had lost too many people already, from shinichiro, to baji, to emma, it never seemed to end

that's why when kisaki killed you at the tenjiku battle, mikey fully succumbed to darkness

"y/n, don't come with us," takemichi warned you, but you didn't listen, you had to be there in case mikey or draken lost it and did something unthinkable that you could prevent, but you never thought you would be killed on the battlefield that was for toman and tenjiku

you knew who izana was, of course you did, having known mikey for years, he told you about him, but you never thought he'd be as bad as everyone else told you he was

you had showed up at the same time as mikey, draken, and hina despite the arguing that occurred beforehand and was on the sidelines while watching the two gangs fight it out

you were the only thing keeping mikey sane and from fully falling into the deep rabbit hole that darkness awaited for him, and he was the best thing that happened to you, leaving you no option but to help him when it got too much

"mikey!" you yelled, running up to him only for draken to stop you and hold you back from running into the line of fire of the gun izana was now holding at your boyfriend

everything happened so fast after that, all you remembered was kisaki shooting kakucho and izana and soon enough, you

you don't even know how it happened, but when you came back to your senses, you were on the ground with mikey and draken looking down at you and yelling

"just hold on, y/n! you're going to be fine!" draken told you before mikey picked you up and carried you over to his motorcycle and setting you on it and getting on after

"takemichi! get on!" mikey yelled to the blonde boy, "hold onto y/n so they don't fall off."

it was obvious when to takemichi that mikey was about to lose it just by the look he had in his eyes, and takemichi knew he should've tried to save you too but he couldn't

"manjiro?" you said weakly, your arms secured around his waist, opening your eyes to see a worried expression on your boyfriend's face, "what's wrong?"

"nothing, baby. everything is okay, just like always. i'll always be here with you, y/n," mikey responded as he drove faster

you felt someone's grip around you tighten causing you to turn your head only to see takemichi with tears in his eyes, "takemichi?"

takemichi didn't respond, his grip only tightening more which made you wince in pain before looking down and seeing the crimson red color soaking your shirt "m-mikey?"

everything was starting to get darker, and mikey could feel your grip on him loosening which only made him go faster "don't worry, you're gonna be fine, i promise"

"i'm so tired," you mumbled, leaning your head on mikey's shoulder and closing your eyes "no, no, no don't close your eyes, y/n," mikey shook around to try and keep you awake without crashing

soon enough, your eyes ended up closing and takemichi started to freak out "mikey! they're eyes are closed! what do i do?! mikey!" before he pulled you closer to him and tried to open your eyes before suddenly going eerily quiet

"takemichi? what's wrong?" mikey questioned, glancing back for a split second before back at the road "y/n isn't waking up. m-mikey they won't open their eyes" takemichi started to cry making mikey make a harsh left turn and stopping immediately

"y/n?" mikey got up and looked at you in takemichi's arms, "y/n, baby. baby, please open your eyes," he gently takes you from takemichi and opens your eyelids with his fingers only to see no response in them "y/n?"

after a few seconds of looking at you not move, both boys realized you were gone, and both felt equally as guilty. mikey for causing all of this and takemichi for not being able to save you or stop you from showing up

the funeral was only your family and the highest ranked toman members, including takemichi who could tell there was something wrong with mikey now, he had changed before, but he knew this was the final straw

after you died, mikey disbanded toman and disappeared for a while before coming back to tear apart his once friends, and he succumbed fully into the darkness that was waiting for him, after losing so many, and you, he couldn't do it anymore

mikey ended up creating bonten, and soon enough was one of the most popular gangs in japan for their time, and he was worse than ever, killing anyone who betrayed him or disagreed with his actions with no hesitation

mikey ended up dying because of his actions, getting killed in a gang fight but only because he couldn't keep on living anymore, not without you in his life

Sano Shinichiro:

shinichiro loved you so dearly, and so much that he gave up his gang life just so you wouldn't get involved or possibly killed because of him, he would even kill for you if you asked

he thought you would never leave him because he showed so much love for you, which was why he was utterly heartbroken when he found you on the bathroom floor with blood pooled around you

shinichiro had seen his fair share of extreme beatings and occasionally death with his time in the black dragons, but never in a million years did he think he would lose you to yourself, not him, or anyone else, but your own doings

had he not shown enough love? did he not notice something was wrong with you all this time? how could he be so stupid to let this happen? there were so many thoughts running through his head that the male immediately started crying when he saw your lifeless body

sobs were wracking through shinichiro as he slid on the ground, his blue jeans getting splotches of red on them from the blood on the white tile in the bathroom as he pulled you into his lap "y/n? y/n look at me. please, look at me, please"

a young mikey heard shinichiro crying and peeked through the doorway, his eyes widening when he saw the two of you "sh-shinichiro?"

shinichiro quickly turned his head, his eyes already turning red from crying as he looked at mikey "mikey! c-call an ambulance! quickly!" he yelled to his brother before looking back down at you "c'mon honey, just stay with me please, please i can't lose you"

mikey quickly ran to the phone and called the police, saying that there was blood and they needed an ambulance ASAP or else you would die from blood loss if not dead already while shinichiro was trying to wake you up

shinichiro was trying everything possible from shaking you, one slap, and even cpr but nothing was working, he was going to lose you, and that was his worst fear since he had met you, he left the gang so this wouldn't happen only for you to do it to yourself and he started to cry even more

he didn't know what else to do so he picked you up and walked you to the bathtub before setting you down in it, the blood sticking to his clothes and leaving red stains on his arms as he looked at you with tears still falling down his face

by the time the paramedics and police showed up, you were already long gone, and shinichiro knew it, he had done cpr for as long as he could, but there was nothing more he was able to do and he regretted everything

for being dense enough to not realize you were feeling like this, for not being a good enough boyfriend to ask how you were feeling, for everything possible he had done wrong to cause this

at first the police questioned shinichiro of killing you but when him, and mikey and emma said that you had done it to yourself, the police ruled it as a suicide and left it at that

shinichiro went to your family and gave them the news, handing them a letter you had written for them before doing it and much to his surprise, they didn't blame him, in fact, no one did, no one except himself

the funeral was strictly your family and the sano family along with wakasa and benki having known you as well from when shinichiro was in the black dragons with them

shinichiro fell into a depressive state after you died, not even working on bikes to try and distract himself, he would just sit on his bed, staring at the empty spot you used to lay in beside him and cry more and more each day

he could barely wrap his head around it all, he thought leaving the black dragons would make everything better for the two of you and his siblings, but even though he did, it changed nothing, all that changed is who it was that had done it

it wasn't until one night that shinichiro was working on one of the bikes that two kids, baji and kazutora ended up breaking into the place and accidentally killing him without realizing he was mikey's older brother

but shinichiro wasn't afraid of death, not after you died, he figured it was just his time to go, to return back to you and be happy again, not filled with dread and sadness for the rest of his life

to him, he was okay with dying, because it meant shinichiro could see you again, and that's all he wanted more than anything, was to be able to see you one last time

Kurokawa Izana:

you were the only one izana loved, genuinely loved, more than anything else in the world and no one was going to change that, not on his watch

but of course, not all things go according to plan when he was such a popular gang leader for tenjiku, it was only bound to happen that you would get hit in the crossfire of the gang wars

you knew how much izana hated mikey and emma, but you never thought he would go to such extents and try to kill them both, and succeed in one of them, and truthfully, it scared you a little

the fact that he was willing to kill those who he used to love all because of one fuck up, it worried you that maybe one day izana would kill you too, but he always assured you that he wouldn't

but in the end, he was the one who killed you

during the tenjiku-toman battle, izana pulled a gun on mikey and you tried to stop him, attempting to grab the gun only to end up getting shot from him

the moment the gun went off and you dropped to the ground is the moment everyone stopped and stared at the scene that had just unfolded and izana dropped the gun immediately after he saw you drop and the blood pouring from your chest

"y/n?" izana said barely audible, looking down at you with wide eyes before dropping to his knees when he heard you try and talk but only came out as gurgling due to him hitting your lung

"i-i jus-just wanted y-you to st-stop," you were hardly able to get out, tears welling up in your eyes once realizing you were probably going to die here all because you were stupid enough to try and stop him "i'm s-sorry"

izana pulled you into his lap while shushing you to not talk, holding your head up to look at him "no, don't apologize. this, it was all my fault. i was so stupid" there were tears starting to fill his own eyes as he looked down at you "i'm sorry, baby, i shouldn't have brought you into this"

you just shook your head, raising your bloodied hand up to izana's face and wiping the tears that had begun to fall "it's o-okay, izana"

by now izana didn't care if he was crying in front of not only tenjiku but also toman, he had just accidentally shot and most likely killed you, the only person he actually loved more than himself, and he fucked it all up on his own because of his actions

he knew you were dying and that there was no point in calling for help when he shot you in the lung and you were already struggling to breathe while he kept muttering out apologies and how much he loves you more than anything and anyone else

by the time you had died in izana's arms, he was full on sobbing and holding onto your lifeless body tightly as everyone watched the strong tenjiku leader break down for the first time

slowly, izana reached for the gun he had dropped beside him and looked down at you "don't worry, baby. i'll be with you soon," and raising the gun beneath his chin with his head looking up, he shot the gun and his body dropped beside you, with one of his arms still secured around you

he knew how badly he had fucked up to cause this, for his own actions to kill his lover, which was the only reason he gave up immediately after losing you, because he knew he would never be the same and would end up worse

you were the only thing keeping izana together and somewhat sane still, and without you, he knew what would happen to him, so he decided to leave the world alongside with you so that he wouldn't have to suffer for another moment

izana did love you, even if he showed it in weird ways that weren't normal to everyone else, which was why he killed himself, because he loved you so much he couldn't bare to be without you

so he would do anything to make sure he was back with you, somewhere safe and sound where no one would be able to tear the two of you apart, not even him

[haitaniplug]

Ran & reader and married, but he fell out of love, but can't leave you since you're pregnant? i need some angst in my life :(

i gotchuuuu! ♥ decided to change it up tho cuz yn deserved better 😕☹️

ran x fem!reader

genre: angst

Ran had done a lot of fucked up shit in his life. His first murder was when he was 13. We all know how that story went, yet he didn't feel an ounce of remorse. Not even a drop.

He spent his teenage years doing fucked up shit, yet still hasn't felt bad for a single thing. He was starting to think that there was something seriously wrong with him.

How could one be capable of committing such violent acts with such a neutral face? He would use the same face to bash someone's skull in whilst also casually asking someone for the time. It never occurred to him why he was so emotionless.

Even on your wedding day, he had to fake a few smiles. He truly was happy when he married you, but he just couldn't show it. Even now as he's currently fucking some random cheap whore that was dancing too close to him in the club, still emotionless.

You were asleep in your house, pregnant with HIS baby, whilst he's out having the time of his life. But why? Why can't he bring himself to show just a pinch of remorse or guilt.

His friends had told him to either divorce you and fuck around all you like, or just stop fucking around as a whole cause it wasn't fair to you. You weren't close with his friends at all, Rindou being some sort of an exception, but it was still awkward.

A bunch of criminals who just so casually hurt and torment other people were feeling guilty for your sake of Ran's wrongdoings, yet Ran couldn't feel a thing.

He did love you at first. He truly did. You spent your last summer together at 18 years old before you became full time adults. It was probably the best time of his life. He would do anything to go back to it.

So why? Why did he fall out of love so easily. HE was the one that suggested the two of you should get married. HE was the one that suggested you try for a baby. HE was the one that asked you out back when you were both 18.

So why is he wasting your time?

All these thoughts raced through his head at night and he glanced next to you as you were casually scrolling on your phone before feeling his gaze and giving him a small smile.

He cherished that smile, yet didn't feel any guilt for cheating on you.

It was getting out of hand, you were bound to find out one day, he knew it. Yet he couldn't bring himself to care.

Not until it actually happened.

He came home to an empty house. Assuming you had just went to take the bins out or something, he waited on the couch. 5 minutes had passed, you didn't come back. 10 minutes had passed, he was starting to worry.

He reached out to his phone and dialled your number- straight to voicemail. What the-?

He ran inside your shared bedroom, the sheets were gone. He opened your drawers, the clothes were gone. He entered your shared bathroom, your toothbrush, sponge, everything was gone.

He fucked up.

Ringing up Rindou, he asked if he had heard from you. To which Rindou said no he hadn't.

Where did you go?

He spent the next few days waiting for you to come back, but you didn't. Like you disappeared off the face of the earth.

The day he returned back to Bonten's base, they all looked at him weirdly. Like they were secretly judging him. Guess they found out hm?

When Ran sat down, all eyes were on him. "Knock it off. I'm not in the mood." He said putting his face into his hands, exhaling before reaching across the table and grabbing a cup of whatever the fuck was inside there.

"Y'know where she is?" Mikey asked suddenly, causing Ran to freeze for a moment before shaking his head. "No. I don't."

"I took care of her." Mikey responded. Not even a second later, Ran had his hands around Mikey's shirt, lifting him off the ground, "You did what?" His voice was sharp.

Mikey maintained a calm look before gesturing to Sanzu to put the gun down. As soon as Ran moved, Sanzu already grabbed his gun and placed it on the side of Ran's head.

"Watch yourself." Sanzu said gruffly before spinning the gun back into his side, taking his seat once again.

"I'll repeat myself." Ran spoke again, more calmly. "You did what?"

"I took care of her. Something you failed to do." Mikey's tone was nonchalant. "She's back at my place for now. Poor girl ran up to me crying last week saying she had nowhere to go." Mikey kept talking down to Ran despite the insane height difference.

"Did you guys know she's pregnant?" He spoke to the rest and they all gasped. "With Ran's child?" Koko asked and Ran paused before nodding.

"That's fucked up." Kakucho stated and the others agreeing with him.

"Can I talk to her?" Ran said with a sigh and Mikey scoffed. "No. There's no point anyways. I bought her tickets to USA. She's leaving tonight."

"She's what?" For the first time in ages, Ran felt his heart stop.

"She doesn't want to see you ever again. She said living in Japan was too risky, she could run into you anywhere. She wants to be far far away from you and her child."

"Our child." Ran cut him off, eyes narrowing sharply.

"Nah," Mikey spoke out again, "Her child. She said that baby has nothing to do with you."

"Can I at least say goodbye?" Ran asked Mikey with desperation in his voice and Mikey shook his head, "Sorry, just following her orders. You'll be okay though, you have plenty other whores you can use." He pat him on the back before leaving the room, Sanzu following behind not long after.

part two here

[orange-waterfalls]

I Call This One: Bold & Brash!

The egos x artist! gn! reader

ty @pokemonpunqueen for the request!

A/N: I’ve decided that I’m gonna write for the egos when I can’t think of anything else or I need practice writing lmao. I mean I was doing that before? But I didn’t know it? listen it’s fine it’ll be fine but FOR NOW I thiiiink I’m gonna take requests. Just a few. I’ll stop when I think it gets too much. This is exactly what it says. I focused on like drawing/painting for “artist”, with some references to animation thrown in there. I did Darkiplier, Wilford, Yancy, Illinois, Google, Eric, and a Host thrown in there bc I love him and I miss him

Word count is 1.5k

Enjoy

Egos x artist!reader

Darkiplier

He’ll want to commission art from you

He makes comments about how Mark is a narcissist but also he’s a narcissist.

Oh look, Dark’s asking you for another picture. What does he want? He wants you to draw him? Again? For the fifth time this fucking month? Wonderful.

He likes looking at how you make art of him, be it stylistic or realistic

He will hang them up all over the fucking house so pace yourself

He’s fine if you draw anybody else

Except Mark. Never Mark. How can he tell, you ask? No fucking clue, but he does

Gets a bit worried that you won’t make enough money to live comfortably

Just because not everyone needs a fucking MANSION-

Will always buy things for you if you ask

Likes to be able to support your job or hobby

Sugar daddy? I mean maybe

Makes sure you eat, sleep, drink water, survive--

Leaves snacks for you at your desk for when you don’t want a meal.

Carries you to bed if you fall asleep at a desk

Recommends you wear comfy clothes at all times so you can fall asleep wherever

A bit of an enabler, he’s doing his best tho

If you take commissions don’t be surprised if he threatens to kill someone when they don’t pay or are rude to you

He loves you, that’s all

Wilford

Fucking elated

Draw him!!! Please!!!! Please draw him!!!!! He has coin!!!!! He can pay!!!!!

Ecstatic if you actually draw him like he’ll giggle for an hour straight just looking

Secretly commissions more art from you

So also sugar daddy

It’s always something so obvious so you know it’s him anyways

He likes bright colors and eyestrain for some reason

If you make that, he just. Stares at it. Unblinking. You have to snap him out of it (im not projecting what do you mean)

Gets extremely worried about you not taking care of yourself

Gets someone to fucking babysit you when he’s gone so you take care of yourself

When you get greatly offended by this he settles for texting you reminders

And when you ignore those he texts more

Don’t be surprised if you get spammed by several people and an alarm starts to play from somewhere in the house

You’re gonna be healthy whether you like it or not, asshole

Drags you to bed aggressively

He WILL NOT drug your food with melatonin because that’s illegal. B U T-

He’s a little confused, but he got the spirit

Will advertise your art to anyone and everyone and also on his show and threatens the audience with a gun

AGAIN, a little confused. he just wuvs u so much 

Yancy

I mean technically he’s kind of an artist too so he appreciates your skill and creativity

He’s very nosy and likes to look over your shoulder while you work

If you don’t like him doing that, he still does it, just more secretively

Likes to work in the same room as you. 

That is if you don’t mind constant singing or tap dancing in the background

He shows off your art to anyone and everyone and gets mad if they don’t immediately say it’s fantastic

May or may not have stabbed someone over it, you’ll never know

If you show him something you’re working on, he’ll show you something he’s working on in return

The law of equivalent exchange

You tell him you can make MONEY from things like art and dancing and he goes apeshit he gets so fucking excited

If you’re like an animator and offer to animate his dancing he might actually cry

He’ll deny it constantly every day until he dies

If you make things traditionally he hangs them on the wall Everywhere

You might run out of room

By which i mean you will run out of room as soon as possible

Will never tell you a drawing is bad ever unless it’s like Really Bad which it never will be in his eyes

He loves anything and everything you do u are so precious

You have a permanent support system within the man

Google

Used to see art as pointless

Then comprehended the chemical release it causes in the brain and thought that was fine

Then saw you get really mad with something you were working on and got confused again?

If art no make good chemical, why art?

He still doesn’t understand, but that’s ok

You tried to get him to make something once

He just. Kinda. Made a buncha ones and zeroes

You still framed it and hung in on the wall and he got embarrassed

If he could blush, he would

If you draw him he looks like he doesn’t care but it’s at that point he decides he would die for you

Primary objective: answer questions as quickly as possible. Secondary objective: make u happy. Tertiary objective is to destroy mankind

If you draw bing that will disappear IMMEDIATELY you have BETRAYED him

If you ask for a color palette recommendation he Always says the google colors. Always.

You might’ve thought he was going for an rgby type of thing. But then you realize.

He is in charge of your financing. He will tell you the most efficient ways to make money as an artist and you follow then

He is also in charge of making sure you FUCKING EAT A MEAL

“But isn’t an objective to destroy mankind?” shut up he’s not happy about it either

Despite his best efforts he loves you and that ain’t gonna change

Illinois

Doesn’t fully understand

He needs to be outside at all times and cannot stay in one place

And you’re like??? Required to stay still???? For prolonged amounts of time????? Disgusting. Anyway, whatcha workin’ on?

He might ask you to try and teach him

If you do try he gives up almost immediately

Sometimes you just get so into it that you forget to do basic things and he gets upset

(i.e. eating, sleeping, living, etc.)

He gets worried about you

He is a hypocrite bc he does the same

He will drag you to bed, motherfucker

Honestly he might lock your shit somewhere until you fucking take care of yourself. it’s like a hostage situation god

“Where the fuck did you put it” “I have no clue what you mean. I might know if you eat your dinner, though”

Asshole (affectionate)

Sometimes you like make faces when you try to draw a person and it’s hilarious and cute to him

He looks at your drawings the moment you walk away but acts like he doesn’t care

He cares a lot

Will support you no matter what but will also tell you without hesitation if he thinks something looks shit

Listen he’s out of line but he’s right

Eric

Loves you a lot and will support anything and everything you choose to do or make

Drawing? Awesome! Painting? Wonderful! Animation? Superb!

He often wants to buy you supplies or something but he does not know what anything is

Fuck is a chalk pencil???? What are gel pens vs normal pens?????? Watercolor????? What the fuck are you saying??????????

Will subtly drop hints that you could,,,, draw him,,,,, maybe,,,,, if u wanna 

And by subtly I mean he starts to ask and then starts crying

If you draw him he will cry again he loves u so much 

If he ever were to get a tattoo it’d be something u drew. Nothing else is as important to him at the moment

He enjoys photography and film, and likes to try and bond with you over artistic things

I mean. Some things overlap.

You could talk about a single drawing for hours and he’d listen intently the whole time

Don’t ask him for feedback, it’s always some version of “it’s perfect and I love you”

Even if he hates it

Which,,,,, he might hate it sometimes

He’s not a good reviewer. 2/10, very biased

He likes to take photos when you’re in the zone

If you tell him to delete them he will

While secretly making one his home screen

Host

Hey, he gets it

He writes, he understands the hyperfocus

Sometimes he wouldn’t move from his chair for a day because he was busy writing a script

That being said, you probably have to be the one to get him to take care of himself

Or you have to take turns

Otherwise you’re both gonna fucking die

He asks you to describe your art to him and tries to picture it.

He’ll tell you if he thinks it probably looks good or bad

You shouldn’t take it to heart because he can’t see it

He is a bastard sometimes

“Well, what do you think?” “I think it looks fantastic” “Thanks, babe” “...” “... you think you’re fucking funny, don’t you”

He asks if you can draw him sometimes

No, he won’t see it, but he’ll appreciate the sentiment if you do

He will ask for your opinion on his scripts sometimes

If you say it’s bad he gets really defensive

You work in the same room a lot of the time and forget the other is there

One of you has to preemptively order food or like set a timer so you can goddamn Survive

You’ll be fine

[quackisinnit]

Men in Black au! with Dream, George, Sapnap, Karl, Quackity, c!Technoblade, and Wilbur

Notes: this is for 900 clebration:)) THIS IS SO LONG DKSHS. also i wrote this cause i watched men in black:international the other day

Genre: fluff, romantic, they/them

Warnings: mentions of guns, bombs

Dream

when you first started working with him, he was very friendly and would teach you anything you needed to know

like where the guns are, etc

but from time to time he would be unintentionally flirty

or just make flirtatious comments (sometimes intentional)

"you look good in a suit y/n😌"

"i always wear a suit but thank you"

everytime you hugged or shaked hands after a succesful mission, his touch would always linger

like he would hug you for much longer than anticipated

it would make you flustered but you just brushed it off

soon dream made flirty comments all the time

like all the time

you both layed down on the ground and took deep breaths, that alien was terrifying. "you know, you looked good whole fighting that thing earlier."

"what?"

"nothing."

this kept on going until you (sorta) catched on to what he was doing

"clay, do you like me?" you said out of the blue. "what? no- our relationship is strictly professional and platonic."

yeah you didn't believe him

and he didn't himself

but then again, he said it himself,

he doesn't like you, right?

okay maybe a little bit

he finally confessed when he thought it the was the end for both of you

the alien threw you against the wall, roaring loudly. it ringed through your ears, causing you to yelp. the alien grabbes clay with its other hand and raised him above its mouth.

"y/n since this is the end," clay yelled, "i want you to know that i like you! a lot!"

you looked at him shocked, you opened your mouth to say something but the creature's scream of pain cut you off. your other colleagues had come to save the both of you.

you both watched as they brought the alien back to where it came from.

"so, you like me?"

"uh, yeah. i really, really do."

"good, cause i feel the same." you smile and kiss clay's cheek.

George

he would act very prim and proper

and he'd want you to act the same

he would do little things like fixing your tie, fixing your hair, etc

but on missions he would be very rowdy and make bad decisions from time to time but still calm

"y/n, let's drink with them!"

"but what if the-"

"i heard a yes, let's go."

but then the bad guys showed up

"i told you they'd come!" you said with a slightly panicky voice.

"don't worry, the alien is safe and we just need to get out of here. let me think of a plan."

and boom with george's calmness and smartness you survived😎

but you both got a warning cause you drank on the job-

anyways,

he started acting strange after a few months of working with you

for example, everytime you passed him a weapon his hand would rouch yours

and he would just blush and continue what he was doing

you wouldn't really notice tho since he was subtle with it

george finally confessed after a mission

"get yourselves cleaned up at the headquarters."

"yes ma'am." you both said synchronously. once you were both back at the headquarters, george tapped your shoulder. "uh- so i really like you, can we go on a date?"

you just looked at him, not saying a word. george started to feel more nervous, thinking he did something wrong. "it's fine if you don't want to, i understa-"

"no no no no george, i wanna go on a date with you." george just smiles and grabs your hand, caressing it.

Sapnap

as soon as you became partners, you both got really close a your personalities just matched

anyways, every mission crazy and very chaotic

sapnap cracks jokes all the time

"oh my god, is this alien pussy??"

"sapnap... I THINK SO!!"

its so fun working with him

at the start of your relationship, he made flirty comments here and there

but the longer you both knew eachother, he made flirty comments all the time, like dream

"sooooooo has anyone told you how hot you were earlier?"

"i mean- no? we literally almost got eaten alive"

"well since no one's said it, you looked pretty hot earlier"

for some reason he likes saying those comments everytime your both about to die

or when the situation is just bad

"hey you look pretty attractive right now..."

"SAPNAP SHUT UP AND GIVE ME THE GUN, WE'RE GONNA DIE??!??!?!"

"WHY ARE YOU SAYING THIS NOW SAPNAP"

but when he confessed it was during a normal time

you were both talking about a mission you had to do in a few days

and sapnap just blurted it out

"okay so we have to be in paris next week. i think we should ask-"

"i like you y/n. a lot, with my whole heart" you smiled, "i like you too." sapnap smiled and and leaned in, "can i kiss you?" you just nod and bring him closer to your chest.

Karl

people called you and karl childish and immature during work

but in reality he just made lots of jokes and you both laughed easily💀💀

missions with karl are very fun

fun but at the same time serious

like he thinks very quickly

so if your ever in danger, karl will be there to help

but after you both make jokes directed at each other

"you were the one that dropped the bomb"

"you would've died if i didn't save you🙄"

but its all light hearted and you care for each other

anyways he started to act more serious and calm around you

sometimes nervous

like after every mission you hug

and everytime you both do it you could just feel karl's heart beating so fast

"karl are you alright? you're heart is beating really fast"

"oh uh- yeah. just shocked from the mission and all"

he would also ask you if you're hurt/okay way more

"oh god y/n, are you alright?"

"yeah it's just a scratch"

"okay, if you're hurt just tell me"

he confessed while you were both undercover during a mission

you both sat in the cafe, eyeing the alien that disguised itself as a human. "psst, y/n."

"what is it?" you say, not taking your eyes off the creature. "i like you." karl says quietly. as if he was a kid whispering a secret. for the first time, you take your eyes off the alien.

you look at him, mouth agape. you smirk and chuckle, "so do i." karl smiles and starts giggling, you reciprocate this. "now let's go back to- WAIT WHERE ARE THEY?"

Quackity

chaotic but at the same time quiet duo

during missions its crazy and some times gets out of hand

but at the headquarters/office, you're both very proper and organized

its just so that you both get assigned into more missions together tbh KSHSJ

missions with him is just

*chefs kiss*

one time you were both fighting the alien and somehow he convinced them for a break?????

"HEY WAIT WAIT. i have to piss, let's take a break"

alien: "piss? break?"

"i have to pee."

and the alien just agreed!?!??????!?!

SO YOU JUST STOOD THERE, WAITING FOR HIM TO COME BACK

AND THE ALIEN JUST SAT ON THE GROUND

fortunately, he came back quickly

"okay, i'm back, let's do this😎"

in the end you both won

cause he's alex quackity, what do you expect?

soon he started to act very nervous at random occasions

like you were both just talking about a recent mission you both just done

and you complimented him on defeating the alien

"that was so cool alex!!"

and he just stands there like 🧍‍♂️ "thank you y/n"

HE'S JUST SO FLUSTERED KSJSK

and it's not like your first time complimenting him

he just started acting like this out of nowhere

he confessed while you were doing a mission

you were in the passenger's seat, holding onto dear life. "alex, slow down!" he just glances at you in disbelief. "slow down? we're gonna die if i do slow down!"

after a few turns, you reached a long road with a fiver at the end. alex looked aroud to find another road for you to go on to avoid drowning. unfortunately, there was none.

the buttons that cotrolled the car currently weren't working. so you kept on pushing them. "y/n, before we die, i wanna say something!"

"we're not gonna di- oh nevermind, what is it?" you yelled. "i like you!"

all you could do was to push the buttons more aggresively, hoping to get out alive. to your surprise, the car started to float of the ground.

once you had both reached the sky, you both started clapping and cheering. "lets go!"

"we did it y/n holy shit"

"so... you like me?"

"what? no, i didn't say that. what do you me-"

"its fine alex. i like you too"

Technoblade

he would be quiet and professional

also a little intimidating

like on your first mission he did almost all the work

and in a way you were kinda his assistant

at first you thought this was how missions worked

1 leader and 1 follower/assistant

but then you talked to your colleagues about your missions with him and they told you it was meant to be 2 partners, not leader and assistant

so you confronted techno about this

which left him a little surprised

cause he was the one supposed to confront people, not the other way around

this made him intrigued about you

so techno spent more time with you to learn more about you

which caused the both of you to get closer

when people saw this, they were really confused

cause he was so soft, caring, and nice around but around them he was cold and intimidating

but then techno started to act very flustered and nervous around you

he tried to hide it, but failed

like you would just be talking to him and he would just randomly act flustered

"okay so since he's in [street name], we should turn left to catch up." you said while holding onto the steering wheel. "uh huh..." techno just looked at you, not saying a word.

"techno? are you listening?"

"oh- uhm. yeah, sorry." he said as he opened the sunroof and got out his gun.

this kept happening so you decided to confront him about it

(the same way you first confronted him)

"techno, are you alright? everytime we're in a mission or just talking you seem really out of it"

"i'm fine, just tired."

which isnt true?? his whole brand was like staying up and still having enough energy for a mission

so you were suspicious but didnt think much of it

he confessed while you were at a diner talking about an upcoming mission

you drank some water and cleared your throat. "do you think we need a disguise?"

"uhm, i think we need to..."

"need to?" you waited for his answer. "i like you." he blurted out, looking down at the ground tp avoideye contact. all you could was smile, "i like you too techno, a lot."

technoblade looked back up to you slowly with a small smile but with a shocked expression. you cup his cheek from across the table and caress it, smiling.

Wilbur

he would be a combination of george and dream

prim, proper, and friendly

missions with him would be fun but still professional

he'd crack jokes all the time but at the same time he can finish the mission

idk why but for some reason he loves timing himself during missions

"aye y/n, we got 3 days and 7 hours! not as good as last time but still alright"

"wilbur why do you even keep track-"

anyways

all of a sudden, he started to be more messy during missions out of nowhere

like instead of having everything in control, everything would be out of place

one time you both almost let the alien escape

"wil are you alright? you've been a little off lately." he rubbed the back of his neck, "yeah, i'm fine, completely fine."

you were worried so from time to time you would ask him if he was alright

and he would always answer with the same thing

"i'm fine, y/n. don't worry about me"

or something along those lines

he confessed during an argument

"wil we could've died! we and many people could've died." wilbur paced around the room, rubbing his neck and running his hand through his hair from time to time.

"i know, i know."

"if you know then why did you do that?" you said, raising your voice. "because-"

"beacuse what wilbur? you're feeling a little tired but you're fine? wil please tell me what's goin-" you were yelling and your eyes started to become moist. "because i like you, y/n. so so much."

he cupped your face with both of his hands as his eyes began to moist as well. "i-i like you too wilbur." was all you managed to choke out. "but please be more careful. you promise?" wilbur placed his forehead on yours, "i promise."

[marvel-fanfic-writer-8675]

can u do a steve enemies to lovers but we’re in a fight against a monster and i almost died and then he yells at me and tell me he loves me and he can’t loose me then yeah please 

I Just Can’t Lose You

Pairing: Steve x reader

Warnings: cursing, reader almost dies, fluffy ending tho

Summary: read the request

Eek! I loved writing this! I hope you enjoy @eddiemunsonwifesblog

It all started the first day you arrived. Steve hated you from the start. The second he saw you and heard you say hello, he was cold. He was never mean or cold to anyone else in the tower so it confused you at first, then you just accepted he didn’t like you. The cold shoulder turned into bickering and arguments. It was something that was certain to happen to the people in the tower. The sun rose, and Steve and Y/N hated each other.

“Steven Grant Rogers! You did this on purpose didn’t you!” You and Steve were both currently stuck in the elevator. “You think I would WANT to be stuck with your annoying ass?” “Ooh, Cap, that’s a no no word,” you teased. “See, proving my point!” You pulled out your phone and put a movie on, you chose the original Wizard of Oz. Steve heard the familiar opening and looked over, “well at least you have good taste in movies,” he mumbled and sat down next to you, you moved the screen where he could see better. You two stayed there watching it until the elevator started moving again, once it did, the truce like state you were in also stopped.

“Wait! Was it you that ate my leftovers that were in the fridge?” Steve accused right as the door opened, “umm….” You started running, Steve right on your heels. He of course caught up to you and tackled you to the ground. “How dare you!” He exclaimed, then took in the position you were both in, he had you pinned to the ground, straddling you, it definitely looked sexual. His face went red and he quickly moved off, both of you embarrassed even though no one saw you, “just uh, don’t do it again…” Steve quickly scattered off to go do whatever he originally planned on doing, you stood there grinning. He was kinda cute when he was nervous you thought. Wait! No! You don’t like him like that, you hate each other! Ugh, why did he have to be so cute. A few hours later, Steve saw a box appear in the fridge with his name on it, opening it he saw it was the exact order of food you had eaten, except there was a note, “see, I didn’t eat it,” and a winky face drawn after that. It was definitely more than he originally had and he soon realized, you had gone out and bought him a new order. He smiled to himself before Bucky and Sam interrupted his train of thought.

The day it happened was a particularly bad day for you and Steve. The whole day had been full of argument after argument. First it was Steve stealing your favorite treadmill, then it was you taking his spot on the couch and more. You were both in your rooms when the emergency alarm sounded. The whole team quickly suited up and ran to where the aliens were attacking. Luckily it was pretty close by so it didn’t take much time.

“Cap, Y/N I better not hear any arguing over comms got it?” Nat said. “Yeah, yeah whatever,” you shrugged, slicing one of the aliens in half. “Ew these things have purple blood, it’s all in my hair!”

It was a few minutes of fighting for your lives later that you saw it. You saw Steve fighting 2 aliens from his front and one sneaking up behind him, the alien’s gun aimed right at him. Steve didn’t see it, and that shot would kill him. You had a chance to make a split second decision, and you did. You jumped and pushed Steve out of the way and took the shot. The aliens in front of him stabbing you in the process. Steve saw red. He quickly killed all three aliens, anger coursing through his veins. “I need evac, Y/N’s down, needs medical help asap,” Steve reported to the team. “We’ve got it from here Cap, go ahead and take her back to medical,” Tony responded. Steve gave an affirmative and gently picked you up, wincing at the groan you made from being moved.

“Come on, stay with me doll, you can do it, stay with me.” “Steve,” you croaked out, “I’m sorry for all the arguing.” Steve cut your apology off, “no, no apologizing, you can apologize when you’re better, cause you aren’t dying. You, you can’t die. I just, I just can’t loose you, I can’t Y/N, I love you, and I can’t loose you so you can’t die. Stay alive, for me, please,” he begged as it seemed you were about to pass out on him. With all the strength left in you, you leaned up and kissed him, “love ya too ya big jerk.” You slowly faded out of consciousness right as Steve made it to medical. You were still alive but barely.

Steve handed you off to the doctors, who had to physically force him out of the room into the waiting area. That’s where the team found him about an hour later when they returned. “Steve, hey, it wasn’t your fault, she’s gonna be alright, she’ll pull through,” Wanda comforted, she knew Steve loved you, having caught it once when she accidentally read his mind. “I- she-, she loves me back,” was all he said, stunning most of the rest of the team. Nat of course knew because she was Nat, and Bucky had a suspicion. “Hey, go get a shower punk, you don’t want her to wake up and see you covered in her blood mixed with alien blood, plus, you smell terrible,” Bucky told his friend. “She, she pushed me out of the way, took the shot for me,” was all he responded, still in shock and worry for you. A few tears began to roll down his face.

“Hey, pal, she’s gonna be alright, she’s strong, she’ll pull through. Look, go get a shower, get changed, you’ll feel better once you do. I’ll stay here and have Friday tell ya if something happens. Now go.” Steve thankfully listened to his best friend and dragged himself to his room for a shower. It was one of the quickest post-mission showers he’s ever taken but he wanted to get back to you as soon as he could.

When he got back you were still in surgery, and they still wouldn’t let him in. He sat in the uncomfortable chairs for 2 more hours before the doctor let him know you were okay, and though there was a long road to recovery, you’d survive. They let him in and he rushed to your side. You had just woken up, but that didn’t stop the smiled from forming when you saw Steve enter the room. “Oh my god you’re okay! Don’t ever do that again! You scared the shit out of me!” You chuckled slightly, “love you too you jerk.” You pulled him in for a hug, not too tight because of your injuries but a hug none the less.

Steve’s face turned a little red as he shyly asked, “can I, maybe, kiss you?” You smiled at his shyness, “always.” Steve leaned over and kissed you with all the passion in the world, using all the emotions from when he feared your life was over.

While you two weren’t the picture perfect couple, you loved each other at all times, even in the midst of an argument. Most of said arguments were little bickerings, like an old married couple. You guys had the rule to never go to bed angry, though there were a few nights Steve was forced to sleep on the couch when he was being incredibly stupid, such as the time he said you shouldn’t go on a mission because it was ‘too dangerous for you’ but wanted to go on it himself. Still, you knew it came from a place of love, and only subjected him to one night on the couch without cuddles. The next night he clung to you like a koala to a tree, but he was your koala, and a very handsome one at that.

A/N: Yay! The first of the many requests I received! I can’t wait to write more for my 400 follower celebration! If you didn’t see that post but see this one, please request any marvel fic you’d like to see and I’ll write it in celebration for me reaching 400 followers!

Taglist: @peaches1958 , @glxwingrxse

[blxetsi]

armin arlert, mikasa ackerman, and eren jaeger polyamorous headcanons (modern au)

armin arlert x gn!reader, mikasa ackerman x gn!reader, eren jaeger x gn!reader, mikasa x armin x eren x gn!reader

warnings: uhh fluff, this is very long, reader has a gf b4 getting w ema,

this is like my first post since feb that isnt a request 😍😍😍 how did i pull this out of my ass

- obv eren, mikasa, and armin have been besties since childhood so its no wonder they all got together first 🤩🙏

- and theyre all hot so why wouldnt they wanna date each other

- i think armin and eren wouldve gotten together first, and then invited mikasa into their relationship

- the three of them have been officially going steady for like over a year now, and its going really well

- they didnt really expect you to drop into their lives tho

- youre an old friend of historia's and you two reconnected after you moved to the city, securing yourself a decent paying job working as a writer for the city paper

- you usually get the boring stuff, never able to get a good story to write about, focusing your time on heartwarming stories in the community or the sports column

- its boring but it pays the bills

- you were thankful when historia called you during your lunch and asked if you wanted to get drinks at a bar with her and a couple of other friends

- of course you said yes

- so historia and her girlfriend ymir picked you up after work, having dinner with them after a long week was the best, but you were a bit nervous to meet all of their friends

- thats how you met eren, mikasa and armin

- at first you were sure that mikasa and eren were dating, seeing as mikasa had her head on the taller man's shoulder, while his arm was wrapped around her

- but when armin leaned down to give mikasa a kiss before heading off to the bar you werent so sure

- ymir pulled you away to get more drinks and explained to you what the situation was, while commenting on the way you gawked at the three of them before

- you were embarassed to say the least but they didnt bring it up that night so you hoped the throuple didnt notice (they did)

- you really hit it off with all of them though, especially sasha and jean, and were constantly talked about among the friend group

- because of your demanding job dealing with writers block and deadlines you couldnt really meet up with all of them often, usually just having sleepovers at ymir and historia's apartment, the three of you drinking while you wrote on your laptop

- after a couple months of casual hangouts with historia and ymir and their friends, you kinda became one of them too which was nice

- you were added to the groupchat, you all followed each other on social media, and a certain brunet had taken a liking to you

- eren didnt know why exactly he was so attracted to you but he was, maybe it was your hair, or how pretty your skin looked even when oily or with breakouts, maybe it was your smile or your body or your sense of humor or you kindness or maybe it was all of it

- eren jaeger would always stay faithful to his boyfriend and girlfriend, but maybe they could add another person into the mix, more to love right ?

- he had only known you for a couple of months though, he didnt want to jump the gun and bring this up with his partners so soon, especially if they didnt feel the same way he did

- and it would be a bummer if you turned out to be a bad person or smth

- so summer rolls around with lots of memories being made with your new friends, as well as friends from work, and you get a girlfriend ??

- shes not really your girlfriend you two have only been out on a couple of dates and she kisses you a lot but, you havent talked about labels

- one night you, along with your friends are back at the same bar where you first met them

"so, tell us about the girl youre seeing." ymir says, smirking over her beer.

eren's ears perked up at the mention of you seeing someone. "girl ?"

historia nodded. "mhm ! y/n's been talking to someone recently, they've gone on dates and kissed and stuff."

"and stuff, jesus tori you make it sound like we've had sex." you sighed.

the blonde just laughed, leaning her body onto her freckled companion.

"well ? what about her ?" eren asks. armin slapped him on the arm, already having suspicions about eren's interest in you.

your shoulders sagged. "well, she's great and everything, truly..."

"but ? is there a but in this ?" connie asked. sasha started laughing at connie's use of the word but, while jean slapped the girl on the arm because of her reaction.

you shrugged, swirling what was left of your fruity cocktail in your glass. "well, i'm not sure. she's very lively, and sweet. but i don't know, i just don't see myself being able to be in a steady relationship with her."

"so you're gonna end it ?" eren asked. you thought he seemed a bit too eager about your failure in the love department.

"why do you care so much ? you like the thought of me being lonely ?" you shot back, before downing the rest of your drink.

"no i just-"

"i think what eren means is," mikasa intervened, her smooth voice calming you as she looked at you with a smile on her face. "is that there's no point in staying with her if you can't see yourself with her. don't lead her on."

you nodded. "you're exactly right my friend. which is the plan for tonight because i," you quickly checked the time on your phone. 8:17. "have a date with miss molly at nine, so i will be taking my leave."

the group engaged in a chorus of boos for leaving so early, while you chuckled and took the lighthearted insults thrown at you by sasha and connie with ease. grabbing all of your things you put down two twenties onto the table. "i'll see you guys later, have a goodnight." as you walked off you heard jean yell "have a good time you heartbreaker !" making you shake your head

- the date with molly went less then well. she yelled, and cried, and even tried hitting you at one point. your walk back from the park was spent blocking her on every form of social media you followed her on, and when you got back to your apartment you spent the night in a hot bath before retiring to bed

- meanwhile, armin and mikasa were trying to pry the truth out of eren, who was constantly denying his attraction to you

- finally mikasa took one for the team "eren, you aren't alone with the way you feel, i do too." this made eren more willing to open up to his partners

- armin doesnt say anything about you, only saying how youre kind. he doesnt feel the way that his girlfriend and boyfriend do, but he knows that may change

- soon enough, more time flies and christmas rolls around, with you all deciding to have a secret santa get together.

- historia invites everyone to her home on christmas eve, with ymir begrudgingly allowing it

- bertholdt and annie come too, reiner not being able to make it due to going home for christmas, while everyone else decided to stay in the city

- you picked out your secret santas at the beginning of november so you would all have enough time to find something for each other, you hoped whoever picked your name gave you something good

- after hours of games and karaoke and drinking you all decided it was time to open the presents

- ymir got socks from bertholdt, connie got an ugly beanie from ymir, historia got new pens from mikasa, mikasa got knitting needles from annie, annie got a dumbell from eren, jean got a not so appropriate t shirt from connie, jean gave sasha more comic books, armin gave new stationary paper to bertholdt, sasha gifted you that new biography you've been wanting to read and you gave armin your old copy of frankenstein by mary shelley

- he was surprised but very thankful, "how did you know i needed a new copy ?" "well i remember you said eren spilt water on your old one, and the pages just stuck together so i thought you might as well have mine"

- it warmed armin's heart that you remembered something so insignificant, and opened him up to the thought of being with you

- the rest of the night was spent with hugs and thankfulness, cheering when the clock struck 12 and it became christmas day

- after getting things cleaned up everyone decided it was time to leave, with armin, eren and mikasa offering to give you a ride home

- a ride where armin straight up kissed you in the backseat

- you stopped him of course, thinking that it was weird he would cheat on his partners right in front of them, while they were shocked all on their own for different reasons, armin who didnt have feelings for you KISSED you

- and surprisingly armin took the lead in explaining how he felt, why he kissed you, an apology for doing so, and an offer to start dating all three of them

- your heart was pounding in your ears and your entire face felt hot, it was probably the alcohol, or the way his lips felt so soft when they touched yours, so you said yes.

- its not smooth sailing from there

- youre kind of awkward

- this is your first relationship where you really feel like you could love these guys (you already do) but its also your first relationship with multiple people

- the trio start inviting you over more often, soon for sleepovers, and start inviting themselves over at your own place, mainly eren

- he just comes at random times, sometimes when youre not even there and waits for you, or stays and cleans up a bit before leaving

- armin and you share a deep love of literature, and you often find yourselves in hot debates about whatever youve read (mikasa and eren have to pry you two away before things get physical)

- mikasa likes to cook with you, she shares recipes that her mom taught her, and her and armin love to cook dinner together whereas eren is the breakfast maker of the household

- the first time you slept in the same bed as them you were so nervous your whole body thumped to the tune of your heartbeat, you were convinced armin could even hear it as he was laying beside you, but eren wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you into his large chest before whispering "youre as stiff as a board, relax honey"

- eren snores, mikasa drools, armin has those dreams where you fall and then violently wake up before you hit the ground

- slowly but surely you stop thinking about your relationship as the trio and you, but as all of you together, and that really helps you come out of your shell a bit

- you may still be in the honeymoon phase, and there may be bumps along the way, but you like being with armin, eren, and mikasa. they make you so happy, it feels like the happiest youve been in a long time

- you like watching eren and armin dance in the living room while you and mikasa cuddle on the couch, before the boys pull you two up as well

- you like when armin reads to you, his soft voice reciting the words of the great gatsby

- you like it when eren can just tell youve had a rough day, and pulls you into a hug like hes protecting you from all the bad things in the world

- you love being with them. you love them. and you think that theyre it for you

i rushed the ending bc im fucking tired but i kinda wanna do a poly!series with like sasha, connie and jean, or annie, bertholdt and reiner, or any other poly ships u guys may request !

so yeah pls give me feedback it rlly helps me figure out whether you want a polyamorous series (or just like what i write in general), and it would be my first series ever which would be super cool anyways

yeah requests open for poly!ships anyways

[fawnhunter]

Lincoln Clay SFW A-Z

- written with a chubby reader in mind, but that’s not the main focus at all.

!: possible suggestive themes. nothing too serious tho

A= activites- what do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

When Lincoln does have time to spend with you [ Aside from any missions he takes you on] he likes to take you out to do things. He will take you to areas and districts he has already claimed so that it’s safe for the two of you. And then he leaves it up to you. You want dinner? You got it. You wanna go to a show? You got it. You wanna have a night in with just you and him? You can have that too. But he wants to show you off.

B=beauty- what do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

Lincoln enjoys his s/o’s shoulders/chest. He thinks that your collar bones are beautiful, and he enjoys a sweetheart neckline. When he sees you during the day, his arms always find their way around your shoulders. And at night in the bed, he wraps his arms around your shoulders and crushes you against his side. His face finds its way to your neck and chest by the end of the night

C=comfort- How would they help their s/o during hard times or when they need it most?

When you come to him with an issue, and it so happens that you ended up getting hurt or threatened. Then he handles the issue right away, he may have other things to do but you are at the top of his list. He will make sure you never have to deal with this issue again. If the issue happened to be more emotional, he may not be as much help. But he will hold you until you pull yourself together and assure you that he has your back.

D= dreams- how do they picture their future with their s/o?

All Lincoln knows is that he wants you for as long as he can keep you. He will continue to fight to keep you, but he knows some day soon his story will come to an end. The thought that his life is not guaranteed is the only reason why your future is iffy.

E= equal- are they the dominant one or are they more passive in your relationship?

As much as my switch ass hates to admit it, he ends up being the more dominant one in the relationship. He leads the way day in and out. Let you know when to go and where. Stands in front of you when you go places, and nudges you behind him a little for most conversations. Checks in on you all the damn time, and does most of the stuff for you when at home, even when you insist you can handle it.

F= Flirting- how often do they flirt or tease their s/o? How smooth are they?

He is flirting with you every chance he gets. Sly little things whisper into your ear when you try making breakfast. Lingering touches when you begin getting dressed for the day. Filthy things said over the dinner table, just to startle you a little. Smoother than he should be. Every move he makes has the ability to lead into a quickie somewhere. A dangerous man indeed.

G= Gratitude- How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o does for them?

Lincoln is very grateful for you. He knows he can be considered scary, he hears it enough from the people on the street. But his heart swells every time he returns to your shared Apartment and all of you are still there. He Doesn't know how he would patch himself up if you were there as well, you keep him clean and healthy after a long day.

H=Honesty- do they have any secret that they keep from their s/o or do they share everything

Lincoln doesn’t talk about the things he did during the war, he will talk about his time, and about the activities he did with donovan. But he leaves out the gross gorey details, he doesn't want to come off as a monster

I=Inspiration- did their s/o change something about them or is it the other way around? (it could be personal issues or just trying new day to day things)

You have reminded him that there is still a little heart within him. When he comes home, he tries to remind himself that this is you. And that you love him. And he tries to put that hardcore, Sal killing mindset away, and just tries to relax

J=jealousy- do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

I don't think that he is given many chances to get jealous. I think he knows that the two of you are in a relationship, and I think that he would have trust for you. If he ever does get jealous, he will bring it up and maybe ask a question. But he really just wants peace of mind not to create problems for the two of you.

K=kiss- how do they kiss? What was the first kiss like?

Well for starters Lincoln alway kisses you when he sees you, and when he's saying goodbye. These kisses are short and chaste, just enough to give a taste of you for good measure. His other kisses are always more intense, his hand squeezing your waist or thread through the hair on the back of your neck, just to hold you in place while he kisses you. Breathes in the scent of you deeply and doesn't let you go until he’s done kissing you

L=Love confession- How did it go down?

He was hurt pretty badly after a mission. It seems like all the adrenaline shots in the world couldn't help his case. He was hurting real bad, but all he could think about was coming to you, and making you the last thing he sees, before his time is up. But your home appeared closer than he thought it would, and before collapsing on your doorstep he knocked on the door. [Ever the gentleman] And After hearing your concerned gaps and the watering of your eyes and felt safe enough to sleep. And when he woke up, the first thing he saw was your form right next to him. He had to let you know how felt, before he never got the chance again

M=Marriage- do they want to get married? How do they propose? Wedding day description?

Marriage may seem like a far off dream for Lincoln. The only thing he sees set in stone for his future is Sal Marcono’s death. I think Under different circumstances, with Sammy still alive, he would be a married man for sure.

N=nicknames- what do they call their s/o?

Puddin

Peaches

Darlin

Honey

O=Obsessed- how protective are they of their s/o? How much are they worried about them?

Lincoln is as protective as one can be. When at your home, he is alway in the same room as you. He may be doing something like reading a file, or fixing his guns but his glance always finds its way back to you. When he is out with you he is your shadow, right behind you or almost flanking you. He worries about you sometimes, when he has to leave the area of your home, he finds himself calling you, or asking Donovan to check up on you.

P=PDA- are they obvious about the relationship? Do they talk a lot about his s/o? Are they okay with affection in front of others?

Lincoln does not just go running around yelling about you. That being said his immediate crew does know about you, sometimes with you coming with him on missions you run into them. Cassandra and Vito are favorable to you, And Burke is.. well.. Burke. PDA in front of the other is rare as when you two are out together there is rarely time for that.

Q= Quirk- some random ability they have in a relationship

Lincoln is just a little touch starved, the human contact he receives is associated with pain and lies. So i think he won't ever need any space, sit next him, on his lap, look over his shoulder when he reads. Just touch him he loves it

R=Romance- how romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o smile? Are their ideas rather original or creative?

Lincoln takes any chance he has to be romantic.When he isn’t trying to get things done, he likes to spend his time with you. Dates outside of your home are not a common occurrence, he just doesn’t feel like he can really keep you safe. His romance has more of a catering feel. He shadows you a lot so you find yourself not needing to grab things or reach on your own, he’s already one step ahead of you. He likes to make you laugh by being his cute butterbean self.

S=support- do they push their s/o to do better? Do they believe in them?

lincoln isn't the type of person to get to involved in his S/o’s personal life, i mean we all know he is a busy man. If he does push his S/o to do better it's because he knows it's something his S/o is passionate about. He wants the best for you and believes in you as well, he just isn't overbearing about it and may need to be reminded to express that verbally sometimes.

T=thrill- are they okay with a certain routine or do they need some spice every once in a while?

Lincoln needs routine in his life. He has spent most of it away at war where nothing is ever the same. And when he attempted to rebuild his life the first time, everything went sideways. Knowing exactly what going to happen when he comes to see you is something that make him feel stable, and it is something that he craves

Understanding- how well do they know you? Are they sensitive to your emotions?

If Lincoln has committed to being your S/o then he knows you like the back of his hand. He knows when you have good days and bad ones and is always ready to step in and lend a hand

V=Value- how important is your relationship compared to other things in their life?

This question is a little tricky for Lincoln because he has a job to do . He loves you but he also knows that this is a thing he needs to get done. And in order to do that sometimes his job may have to come before you. In the names of people on his list, you are at the top. If you are not his first thought then you are the second.

W=Wild card-Random Fluff bomb!!

Lincoln finds great pleasure in being helpful towards you any time he can get involved in something you’re doing, he wants to be the one who helped you finish.

X=XOXO- how affectionate are they? Are they a cuddle bug or do they like their space?

Because he can always see you, he tends to be very affectionate with you. In his day to day life he doesn't get much healthy skin to skin contact, so any chance he has to get some love from you he takes it. He is a cuddle bug, when you take a seat on the couch he sits next to you but much closer than he should be. When out in public his arm finds its way around your waist and shoulders on its own.

Yearning- what happenes when they miss you

When he misses you he finds anyway he can to reach out to you and tell you that he loves you. He most likely has a memento that you've given him in the past that he keeps on him for moments like this. Other than that he gets really solemn, he punches a little harder so he can have a reason for you to clean him up.

Zzz- how do you both fall asleep/nap

When sleeping you both are engulfed in each other. His arms wrapped around you pressing you to him as tight a possible. One leg thrown over his side and your arms around his neck keeping him close to your chest. ITs hot and sticky and gross but you can hear his heartbeat and the sound of his breathing and decide that it's worth it.

[batarangsoundsdumb]

yet another ask dump yeehaw!

do you ever think that jay's mother was one of those bitch who believes in horoscope and tarots and things like that and so he believes in these things too, or it is just me projecting?

sheila haywood took one look at jason's birthchart said 'nah this won't do' and left.

Wait, but what happens when the justice league does find out that Bruce and John fucked? Lmao it sounds like it would be hilarious, really, I don’t want a justice league that doesn’t make fun of Bruce for like his entire life.

barry runs out of the meeting immediately and comes back with an entire sti testing kit. diana fully seriously wants bruce to get tested while bruce is sitting there like 'come on guys, you're being ridiculous, i already checked twice'

john is standing in the corner clearly offended while bruce is just like 'don't even say anything, constantine, you fucked a shark'

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

on the one hand, good for him, on the other hand, bro, how do you still have a secret identity when your superhero name is just your last name,,,,

Your fic on ao3 was GOLD PLEASE CONTINUE I loved Dinah's cameo btw ( @purple-vixen

thanks so much! i already continued but this ask is like 10 years old because i'm a notorious procrastinator (also yes! i love dinah so much aahhhhhhhhhhhh)

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

bruce internally: holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit bruce externally: get out of my city, alien

AHHH ur multimedia fic is the only thing that brings me happiness anymore continue it forever pls

uhh thanks, but can't continue it forever because my attention span is that of a toddler on crack on a good day and i can't function without at least 10 things going on at the same time and music in the background

Oi, so I'm getting into dc and watching batman the animated series, and they use fruitcake a lot. Which I thought was very funny and wanted to share w you - Denilla

wait like fruitcake (food) or fruitcake (derogatory) ?

young justice 🤝 teen titans slut shaming batman

tim drake and dick grayson to their respective teams 'you guys stop it, that's my dad'

Happyhoganon: If an eighty year old Batman had fought crime in Gotham City for decades and the only threats to him and the city lately are a wheel chair bounded Penguin, your usual purse snatchers and a few con artists popping up every now and then, how well could the Dark Knight do in maintaining the peace in Gotham despite him being just somewhat fit to do that as an elderly man (which says A LOT given how old he is)

uhh he'll probably do what my grandpa does and that is ruthlessly prank them until they die of shame.

in the death in the family interactive movie there's an ending where Jason is tasked with raising Damian and he decides he's gonna raise Damian to take down the waynes and al ghuls which uh maybe isn't great BUT the idea of Jason raising Damian... PRICELESS. CHAOTIC. I just need more people to know about this :)

yes i saw that wow holy shit but jason would accidentally drop damian on his head one (1) hour in and jason just yeets him into the lazarus pit.

Headcanon: The Penguin has a really hard time fighting any of the Robins because of his avian obsession means there's always a small part of his mind that's like "Birb. Child. Protect" ( @subspacecadet )

as soon as dick becomes nightwing the penguin is like 'you know what, fuck this dude' and shoots at him.

Y'all talking about King Shark dating Constantine, let's not forget about John literally hooking up with Satan

listen there's a clear difference between monsterfucker and satanfucker in that king shark is literally a shark and satan still looks like a normal dude

Does everyone in Gotham think Batman is a teen dad?

everyone in gotham thinks batman has been around since gotham was founded, but they do think that bruce wayne is actually a teen father and dick grayson's biological dad.

why. why would you do that fancast when you know it will only hurt people

what? i loved my fancast it was really well done. i did it with good representation in mind and i really managed that with alfred pennyworth being ✨italian✨

Seeing james charles a jason gave me psychic damage how dare you i need to wash my eyes

well that's a you problem isn't it?

do you think dick grayson thirst tweets about nightwing just to annoy his family/cause problems on purpose in general?

he thinks nightwing is hot, next question.

holy jiminy cricket batman, its as cold as the good lords ass crack in here!!

i- what? this is why i don't fuck with english expressions it's way too goddamn weird

Brooooooo, your teen dad!Bruce au is soooo good. I've got brainrot.

Honestly if you ever write anymore, I'd read that shit twice. Sign me the fuck up. Good stuff, Good Stuff.

uh yeah i'm thinking about writing a fic, but i have exams coming up and i don't wanna fail because that would suck. but after i'll certainly be writing more tho

your teen dad AU is so great! bruce acting like a big brother for all of like a week before he's telling everyone about his son. what if in the AU dick meets the JL because they need to rescue him? maybe he's in trouble/kidnapped at a gala and bruce starts calling for JL. clark finds him and has to fly with dick to bring him home - that's how dick and clark meet and superman becomes dick's fave hero. he goes around the manor thinking he can fly with a red blanket draped around him like a cape.

actually- if you want a young dad! bruce fic with like that kinda stuff(just with damian) go check uhh- in for a penny by cdelphiki. it's really good and bruce is like 24/25-ish. (and dick's there!!!)

This account has solely convinced me that Tim is a trash goblin ( @hamilcat-and-magic-turtle )

because he is. that boy has slept in dumpsters on multiple occasions even if he is the son of a billionaire.

Okay but when you said victory dance I did think of the whole justice league defeating the big bad and then they all start flossing

well that's exactly what hal jordan does and that's why batman uses a gun now. no but the victory dance in my opinion is like the 'we're all in this together' dance from high school musical.

The horrors in Invincible s1 was nothing compared to the comics, I cant wait for s2

oh well okay, i mean i personally react to horror and violence by laughing awkwardly so i can't wait to be called a monster for accidentally laughing at a mass murder.

I'm currently watching Batman: The Brave and The Bold and- Bruce is just talking about Oliver like he's an old love (@nightwings-kid)

okay im going to watch that lmao that's totally and completely in character for him tho.

The invincible comic is like super gratuitous with its violence so much so I'm shocked the show was able to adapt it in a faithful way! Anyway had the show been live action it absolutely wouldn't have the same impact as it does as an animated show and I'm so glad so many people agree with me on that

also because a live action casting would've been like uhh amanda stenberg for amber, the dude- the guy from the supernatural but with a mustache for omni-man, and scarlet johanssen for debbie grayson

Debbie grayson is a milf, yes. You're welcome for the invincible propoganda, now you can questions your life. Bruce def seems like the perfect father next to Omni-man. Like they really took a rip off justice league and I was like well, now I'm attached even tho I was like hah I know who they're supposed to be. And then bam- death gore death gore gore gore sad Mark grayson just had to have daddy issues. Why does every character have daddy issues. I'm sick of the attacks

because daddy issues make a person arguably funnier, that's why i'm not even remotely funny (haha good dad flex). i liked that it was dark contextually, but not in the colouring, bc i hate when it's like 'uh yeah graphic murder and now a shot so dark you have to sit in a dark room and squint at the screen to faintly see the characters. (like dcau ugh)

About the Wayne insurance, for a moment I thought you would put the video with moans over the waves.

i mean- i could've done that, but rick rolling seemed more family friendly.

Its the first time in forever that im surpise rickrolled, i usually expect it. Congratulations (i really should know better this is tumblr)

i get rickrolled so often but i actually like the song so i dont really give a fuck

Actually, my information about Damian and John's kids is outdated because it was revealed that the old men telling the kids stories about the Supersons were actually Jon and Damian the whole time. I was blinded by my thirst for Grandpa!Bruce Wayne but I was wrong... I liked my version better, tbh (@artemisa97)

fair enough. but i'd honestly like to see damian and jon getting together, just because it's a really fun dynamic and their friendship was really cute when they were kids. (also idk maybe it would be nice to have one (1) main batfam/superfam character that's not cishet)

How am i JUST finding your blog skdskfkd you're so fucking funny and ur takes are hot

i thought u were calling me hot :( but youre not :( crime detected (but lmao thanks)

So I have depression and I swear that your memes are one of the few things that have made me laugh so thank you 💛🥺 (@katekanebadass)

aw you're welcome, and i hope you're doing okay!

The metropolis memes are so funny, I love them 💀😌

i think metropolis is also so fucking funny it deserves more attention imagine having your entire police force being upstaged by an alien from kansas and his kids

as an american i feel your complete lack of knowledge of us geography is just so sexy (platonic) ❤️

thanks so much (i also don't know any other geography, i'm not kidding, like you can tell me you're from hungary and it will just blank, there will be nothing that comes to mind)

In the DC universe they don't say "Can't have shit in Detroit" they say "Can't have shit in Gotham"

this just reminds me of that guy whose porch got stolen like the steps to his door, and i'm thinking of people living in gotham and waking up without a front door and going "can't have shit in gotham"

honestly all i know about chicago is the bean, so. what would gotham's famous sculpture be?

gigantic gargoyle statue in front of one of the police precincts because a villain thought it was a smart way to keep the police inside, but it's too heavy to move.

why tf do people go on about how batman "works alone" or how he's the "lone wolf" when he like 38290202 members in his family

bc people think it's cool that a grown man in his 30s has no friends or family instead of calling it what it is (sad)

Bruce is gotham's sugar daddy

why would say something so controversial yet so brave.

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

dick: gerard way are you in position, gerard way are you in position

tim: for the last fucking time, my codename is 'totally not count olaf' this week, abbafan 3000

dick: shut up my codename isn't 'abbafan 3000'

dick: it's 'abbafan number 1' and you know it

I have a feeling Tim drake is ur favourite batfamily member but okay u don't have favs if u say so ok

i mean he is, i won't deny it. but i love each and every one of the batfam just the same, i just have a weak spot for short dumbass nerds, because i'm a short dumbass nerd.

Omg i fuckin love boy meets world too fam shsjkfk

bro boy meets world was the shit!!! it was just fire and awesome and so fucking great like bro. it was so good im not even going to be accepting criticism

you know I find the whole "joker completes batman" thing a bit disgusting considering the horrendous stuff the batfamily went through because of the joker and let's not get started on the "joker has a point" thing like yeah he's this cool complex villain but he's absolutely batshit crazy

like yes! i get what you mean the joker just fucking sucks man he doesn't do shit for batman's character or the batfam he's literally just annoying as fuck. like the joker has a point' shit is so stupid. i will accept 'magneto was right' because he fucking was and i think he didn't do anything wrong, but joker? he's just like that. he's not even cool and complex he's just a weirdo with a bleach kink at this point.

ALSO YOUR RACISM POST- SO TRUE BESTIE

thanks bestie, i'm glad you agree.

in today's essay of why I think cass should become batman- I was thinking Tim would probably be the most efficient batman in many ways but I also think he wouldn't want to be batman tbh none of the batfamily members would want to be batman because they're trying to outgrow him but cass is the one who wants to represent the symbol that is batman

absofuckinglutely i will say it again and again that cass represents the batsymbol more than anyone in the batfam, in batgirl (2000) she literally didn't care about anything else than bruce's oath to not kill, she thought the batsymbol was more important than anything in gotham. she's just an excellent character because her motivation to not kill is not 'i'm scared i can't come back from it' or 'well my dad says no murder so i'll go along with it' but that she's killed somebody as a young child and she never wants to kill a human ever again and that's so fucking beautiful for a new batman like yes.

need more cass, duke and tim inclusion in gothamite memes

yes yes, a tall order of cass, duke and tim coming up in 1-14 business days

oldest to youngest batfam members cus I'm confused as shit

okay order of being taken in: dick, jason, tim, cass, damian, duke order of age: alfred, bruce, dick, cass, jason, tim, duke, damian (though cass and jason are around the same age general consensus is that cass is a little older)

I'm so confused Steph is a redhead?? like how was it that hard to get this right? the source material is literally right there and free

cw is jared, 19

do you receive anon hate? if so, how do you deal with it

uh no, i'm not remotely popular enough to get anon hate and i also don't say a lot of things that would attract anon hate, but i do send anon hate to @the-real-peter-parker because he forgot about the specialists from winx club

Wait how many languages do you speak??

uhh- 5 if you include latin, but that's a dead language and i'm really bad at it. but english, my native language, german, and french also, tho german and french not fluently.

You can mix aguaepanela with aguardiente 😈 and is tasty

okay but now i'm curious if the liquor deserves the 😈 emoji or if that's a you problem. but i googled it and it looks like something you'd take one sip of and then not remember the rest of your evening.

[obaby-obeyme]

LET’S GET IT

❗LESSON 56 SPOILERS❗

STRAP IN EVERYONE! IT’S THE MOMENT A LOT OF US HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR.

Previously in chapter 55: Diavolo disappears and you and Belphie go look for him.

_

Belphie tells you a little bit about Raphael

HmmMmmm, demon in disguise eh??

You recieve a note to meet in the circus tent. Someone has taken Diavolo hostage and is demanding money.

All this is happening and the two demons literally do not give a shit 😂

Belphie to bad guy:

Ohhh yes it’s been a while since we’ve seen this side of the boys

Anyways, the bad guy (kidnapper?) fires the gun at Belphie but you chant a spell to protect him. He states that a bullet wouldn’t hurt him and thanks you anyways.(So we now know demons are bulletproof apparently)

YES GET HIM DADDY! (Bad guy takes off and Lord Diavolo was really gonna get the Royal Army to catch him)

After that fiasco, you 3 watch and enjoy the circus together and this part was really cute.

He’s so lonely 😭😭😭😭😭😭

SKIPPING A FEW IN BETWEEN BANTERS AND WHOLESOME SCENES TO GET TO THE GOOD PART OF THIS LESSON

WE FINALLY GET SOME DIAVOLO BACKGROUND! YESSS YES YESSS!

BABY DIAVOLO CONFIRMED

Omg this makes me so sad 😭😭

Note: Remember, Barbatos was never a child. Can you imagine and smol little Diavolo asking Barbatos a bunch of questions and just being really curious about everything (much like how he is currently).

😂😂😂 Now we know why Barb stayed. (I’m sure there is a deeper reason to why Barb stayed) (I still want to know about Barb’s past before he met Diavolo tho)

He also asks you random questions like, what your favorite food is...and something else I forgot (lol) BUT THE SMALL THINGS

Of course anything for you bby

*gasp* Is he finally gonna get to say it? (He’s always been interrupted before)

*INCOHERENT SCREECHING*

AHHHHHHH YA’LL HAVE NO IDEA HOW HARD I HAD TO CONTROL MYSELF MY HOUSEHOLD IS SLEEPING.

PLS-

AHHHHHHHH

*DIES*

End lesson

_

Thoughts:

Okay for some reason, personally, I always felt sorta sympathetic when it comes to Diavolo. Maybe it’s because he always seem so lonely? Idk but this lesson made me very happy for him. He was finally able to confess his love for MC. BUT what now? In one of the previous lessons, when Diavolo was close to confessing to MC (and Lucifer was kinda eavesdropping), Lucifer didn’t seem too happy about it. I wonder why? Also, Barbatos is such a wing man. I didn’t SS it but he purposely left Dia and MC alone so they can have their moment. Side thought on Barb: I wonder if in the future further lessons, Barb will fall in love with MC too because he’s so committed to Diavolo, it seems like he wouldn’t betray him. We did get a look at MC/Barb relationship but it hasn’t developed romantically (imo) yet since we really don’t get a lot of interaction with Barb (in main story). But we’ll save that for later. Also, Belphie and Diavolo finally come to a mutual understanding, let’s hope we don’t have anymore of that mess in the future.

4 more lessons to go! Im pretty sure the rest of the lessons will wrap up with MC getting their sorcerer’s license ofc. And we still have to find out who Simeon went to meet secretly (pretty sure it’s Michael or Raphael).

In conclusion, MC has 7 powerful demons, an Angel, A Human Wizard, and now a Demon prince wrapped around their finger. (WE’RE COMING FOR YOU SOON BUTLER).

[sholiofic]

(can't send you an ask from my sideblog) I would love something where Sam and Bucky both have nightmares, like, both noticing it with the other (Gen, if that's okay) and whatever angst and/or comfort that entails. Totally fine if the prompt wont be filled tho :) Like your writing, sending good vibes! - anxiouswhumpyescapism

Also on AO3: Mediocre Waffles

--

When Bucky wakes up to a muffled yell, he's halfway out of bed and reaching for the gun tucked between the bedframe and the thin hotel mattress before he grasps that the only person in the room is Sam, the only person making noise is Sam, and Sam is tangled in scratchy motel bedsheets and definitely not being attacked by HYDRA or enemy agents crashing through the neon glow of the windows or anything else.

Sam sits up and they look at each other for a minute by the hazy neon light, and then Sam muzzily grumbles, "Fuck," and gets up and goes off to the bathroom.

Bucky flops back down on the thin, scratchy pillow in the slightly too-hot bed. There's the sound of splashing water from the bathroom; the light flicks on and off. Sam comes back out and rattles around a little, and then the door leading out to the motel stairs opens and closes.

Bucky lies there for a moment or two, then sighs and rolls his legs off the bed. He is, as usual on the road, sleeping in a T-shirt and jeans in case he has to get up in a hurry. He follows Sam outside.

It's a two-story roadside motel with an upstairs balcony, stairs leading down to street level and a row of cars in the parking lot. Sam is leaning on the railing. The acrid smell of cigarette smoke hits Bucky's hindbrain like a direct punch to the memories, the way smell sometimes can.

"I didn't even know people smoked these days," he says, and Sam looks around with a faint smile.

"Only sometimes," he says, and holds out the pack of cigarettes. "Bad habit from my military days. Did they really smoke all the time in the '40s?"

"Only when we could afford 'em." Bucky takes one and holds it between his fingers rather than asking for a light. He doesn't know whether it's the serum or that entire hazy seventy-plus years of his life, but he doesn't actually want them, these days. But holding it is familiar. Comfortable.

"You should go back to bed," Sam says. "Long day tomorrow." He's just holding his cigarette, too, though smoke curls up from the tip. It's mostly unsmoked. Like an echo of a time gone by, the same way it is for Bucky.

"I know," Bucky says. He transfers the cigarette to his metal hand and rubs his eyes with his fingertips. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Sam says, and then, with a short laugh, "Not really. Didn't mean to wake you up."

"I know." Bucky runs his fingertips lightly over the splintery, badly painted wood of the railing. Somehow it's occasionally comforting, or at least satisfying, to find things that are broken and badly repaired in the future. He says in a careful tone, "Turnabout is fair play. I wake you up sometimes?"

"Sometimes," Sam says neutrally.

Bucky was actually sort of hoping the answer would be no, but he was afraid it wouldn't be. He makes a neutral, acknowledging sound.

"You're pretty quiet," Sam says.

"Mmmm." He hadn't realized the habit of not screaming was that ingrained. Well, it explained why the neighbors back in his thin-walled New York apartment hadn't complained.

"I didn't ask any questions because I figured it was your thing to talk about."

"Mmm-hmm."

Sam glances back at the half-open door of their apartment and then he stubs out the cigarette, mostly unsmoked, on the railing. "You know what? It's gonna be dawn soon. What say we both put on some clothes—"

"I'm wearing pants," Bucky says with a judging look at Sam's boxers.

"—shut up, and find an all-night diner. I don't know about you, but I could really use a shitty 3 a.m. omelet right now."

"We're not exactly in a metropolis," Bucky says, casting a glance across the horizon of roofs and water towers before he follows Sam back into their room. "I don't know how many all-night diners there are at a freeway exit in Indiana."

"Every freeway exit has a Denny's or a Waffle House. It's a law."

It is in fact a Waffle House, and they take a corner booth and order breakfast food. Bucky rests his chin on his metal fist.

"You could actually be sleeping, you know," Sam says, sounding faintly guilty.

"Not really." He wouldn't fall back asleep after an adrenaline jolt like that, but he doesn't want Sam to feel bad about it. "You want to talk about it?" he asks after a moment.

"Fuck no. You?" Sam asks, in something that is less sympathy and more a kind of parrying response.

"No."

The waitress comes by with a warm-up on their coffee. After she's gone, Sam says, "You know, if you ever get the urge—you know, insomnia being what it is, to go out and get mediocre waffles at two in the morning—"

"You don't mind if I do? Thanks, Sam."

"I'll go with you," Sam says, glaring at him. "Asshole. Just give me a kick or something."

And Bucky doesn't say anything for a moment, because he's thinking of nights lying awake in motels like the one they just came from, staring at the slow cycling of the neon sign outside the window and waiting for dawn, trying not to wake up Sam.

Except Sam is way too perceptive not to be aware of at least some of that.

He's not used to people getting him. That, more than anything else, is what makes him draw a quick, shaking breath, and wish he had something to do with his hands. Luckily he still has the unlit cigarette from the balcony, and he just holds it, moves it between his fingers.

"No smoking in here," the waitress says, coming by, in a "what kind of idiot ARE you actually" sort of tone.

Sam laughs at the look on Bucky's face. "World's changed a little bit, huh?"

"You don't know the half of it," and before he knows it, they're swapping stories of late-night diners in Brooklyn and cheap breakfast cafés in Delacroix, and Sam is laughing and Bucky is feeling the tension in his shoulders unwind and thinks Sam might be feeling the same way.

Maybe he will wake Sam up next time, after all. He thinks Sam really wouldn't mind.

[sarahjtv]

BNHA Chapter 310 Spoiler Thoughts: “The First and Second Holders”

Some fan translations are out and it’s time to flex some thoughts out again!  I couldn’t do them last night because I didn’t have all the scan images with me and I didn’t want to jump the gun with only text descriptions.  Anyway, this was mainly an exposition chapter that properly introduces us to the second and third OFA Holders, especially the 2nd and what his relationship to the 1st is.  This might not be as long as others “Spoiler Thoughts” I’ve written, but let’s see:

First off, we have a colored cover page by Horikoshi-sensei himself!  It’s a solo page featuring Vigilante Deku and he looks badass!  Deku looks ready to kick ass and take names.  And, his Mid-Gauntlet is colored red like a lot of us thought and it adds to the theory that Melissa Shield did create it like she did with Deku’s Full-Gauntlet back in Two Heroes.

The chapter starts in a dark and rainy night.  A large woman (she’s like maybe 10ft tall; she’s taller than All Might who I think is 7ft) with a mutant-type quirk who’s getting attacked by some civilians because they think she’s a villain.  Deku jumps in to stop the attacks and the woman explains that she was just trying to go to one of the evacuation centers at a hero school.  Deku is kind enough to give her her umbrella back and reassure her that things will be ok.  

I gotta say that this whole situation is scarily close to real life right now.  I don’t like getting too political, but we live in a scary world where discrimination is, unfortunately, alive and well...  If you are a POC, you can be attacked from anywhere with the only reason being that “you’re a danger because of the skin you were born with”. It’s horrific, it’s disgusting, and it’s been around for a long time.  Even in the BNHA universe, there used to be cults solely dedicated to discriminating against mutant-type people (we learned this back in the My Villain Academia Arc).  So, like in the real world, this problem has risen again.  Thankfully, there are people like Deku and All Might who are more than willing to help someone in need regardless of who they are.  BNHA hits too close to home sometimes.  

Anyway, going back to the BNHA story.  Before All Might leaves to help the woman in his Batmobile, he hands Deku some Pork Katsu in a cute bento box wrapped in a bunny cloth!  Deku is visibly happy and thanks All Might for the meal.  This is so cute!  I’m so glad to see that All Might is making sure that Deku is being properly taken care of.  Boy needs to eat if he’s going to save the world.  I’m also glad that Deku can still show signs of happiness despite, well, everything.  I swear, if All Might doesn’t legally adopt Deku as his son by the time this series is over, I’m going to jump into this manga and force him to sign those documents myself. 

The next panel shows Deku standing on what looks like Tokyo’s famous Sky Tree (or Sky Egg if we’re going off what Vigilantes showed us).  He’s back to talking to the OFA Holders like they’re angels on his shoulders.  Banjo talks about how it’s like the world’s reverted back in time when things were worse and Deku responds that if he doesn’t use all of OFA’s power, he’ll never be able to defeat Shigaraki and AFO.  I know we’re in the final act, so Deku’s gotta get to 100% fast if he wants to win this war.  Last we checked, he was at 45%, but he might be at a higher percentage now since he’s unlocked En’s Smokescreen.  Also, Deku’s looking more and more like Batman each chapter and I gotta say that it really suits him.

Back to the Vestige Dream back when Deku was still in a coma after the war.  The 1st Holder begs the 2nd and 3rd to corporate with him so that they can provide their power to Deku.  The 1st calls the 2nd and 3rd “My Heroes” which causes some awkward silence lol.  Neither one is responding, so Banjo breaks the silence by suggesting that Deku learn everyone’s Quirks so that he’ll get used to them once he starts using them.  We learn why the 2nd and 3rd are the 1st’s heroes soon, but it’s actually a good idea for Deku to learn about all these different Quirks while he’s sleeping so that he’ll get a good idea on how to execute them when he wakes up.  It’s kind of a way of training for Deku just without actually using the Quirks themselves.  

The 3rd Holder (the one with the spiky ponytail and headband) starts to talk.  He says that the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd came from the “Harshest era of history”.  It was a time where AFO ruled all and peaked in power and control.  He was going to take over the whole world if the first 3 Holders didn’t step in to stop him.  My guess is that after AFO was defeated for the first time, society started to calm down and become more or less the world we knew before the War Arc.  So, things weren’t as bad during the 4th Holder’s era and so forth.  This would explain why Shinomori was able to hide in the forest for so long without being detected.  

And now the big part of the chapter: the 2nd Holder.  Who does in fact look A LOT like Bakugo.  Big difference is that he has a massive scar across his face.  I am aware of the whole “time travel” theory that people have going on with Bakugo and this dude, but I’m not on that train.  Instead, I think that the 2nd Holder is one of Bakugo’s ancestors.  Like, a really, really-great-grandfather.  Horikoshi doesn’t just design his characters for no reason.  The fact that the 2nd user looks so much like Bakugo, has a costume similar to Bakugo’s, and that future panels in this chapter straight up parallel that iconic scene with young Bakugo and Deku in the river only add fuel to this fire.  Unless Horikoshi says otherwise, this is the theory I’m sticking to: this “Ancestor” theory.

And we know of the 1st user’s real name now too, which is Yoichi!  If Horikoshi is keeping up with the “numbers in names” theme, then I’m positive that Yochi has the kanji for “One” somewhere in it.  And, if we’re going to believe AFO at all, then that means that the 1st user’s full name is Yoichi Shigaraki.  We don’t know AFO’s full name yet.  But, again, AFO could be lying with his last name, so I’m taking this one with a grain of salt.

Back to the 2nd Holder, he tells Yoichi that a lot of lives were sacrificed in order to stop AFO back then.  He believes that there is only victory or defeat in battle; that there’s no hope of saving their archenemy.  He has doubt about putting his faith in Deku because of this.  Given how the 3rd Holder still has his back turned too, I’m lead to believe that he also thinks Deku is crazy for wanting to save Shigaraki.  I don’t exactly blame them.  Really, none of us know if Deku will be successful in saving Shigaraki.  He might have to kill him in the end.  I think they should offer Deku help, but I don’t blame them for being at least a little skeptical.  

But, Yoichi reminds the 2nd and 3rd users that they saved Yoichi back when AFO locked him up to die.  They found Yoichi with the intention to kill him it seems, but the 2nd Holder showed sympathy for Yoichi and lent him a helping hand despite Yoichi being AFO’s little brother.  This is the parallel panel I was talking about.  Yoichi is kneeling down on the floor and the 2nd user is standing up extending his hand to help Yoichi.  I don’t even need to look back in the manga to know what inspired this.  Hell, I don’t even need to tell you!  We all know what Horikoshi was doing when he drew and wrote this.

Yoichi convinces him that he should believe in Deku as Yoichi does think Deku will save the day.  If the 2nd user didn’t extend his hand to help Yoichi, OFA wouldn’t have begun.  I think that the trust between these two is ultimately the reason why the 2nd user finally agreed to help Deku; the same with the 3rd user too.  And, kind of a tangent, but I really like how Horikoshi draws Yoichi and the 2nd user’s hands as they’re reaching for each other.  Horikoshi has always been really good with drawing hands like they’re facial expressions (something my ass could never do 😭) and this one shows kindness and empathy.  It’s almost like what would’ve happened if Bakugo accepted Deku’s hand for help when they were young instead of letting his pride and ego get in the way.  Oh, the parallels! 

Finally, the 2nd user speaks in present day telling Deku that they’re going full speed ahead now.  My guess is that Deku’s going to have to improve on OFA and the rest of his Quirks quickly in order to find and beat the LoV.  We are in the Final Act after all.  The chapter ends at a good place if we want to switch to the UA kids, which is honestly what I’m hoping for.  Again, I love Deku and his Vigilante adventures, but I miss the rest of the kids.  The new BNHA Exhibition in Japan apparently has a giant drawing of the main class, All Might, Aizawa, and Shinso in his new hero costume!  Which tells me that 1. Shinso probably took Deku’s place in the class for the time being, and 2. We’re definitely going to see the other kids again.  I’m hoping soon.  But, I wouldn’t be surprised if Horikoshi decided to continue focusing on Deku’s Vigilanteism and have him practice with he 2nd and 3rd Holder’s Quirks now that they’re working with him.  We’ll just have to see.

So, that’s it!  Solid chapter overall.  I’m glad we finally got to see the 3rd and 2nd Holder’s faces.  I think the “Kirishima is the 3rd Holder” theroy has been debunked at this point, but I’m still on the “2nd Holder is Bakugo’s ancestor” train.  The similarities and parallels are too strong for me to deny it.  Horikoshi-sensei, please confirm or deny soon 🙏.  We are getting break next week for Golden Week BTW!  All of Shonen Jump is actually, so no One Piece or JJK either (I’m not sure about Jump+, so we might still be getting some Spy X Family for example).  So, basically all our favorite mangakas are getting a well-deserved break as they should!  I hope they enjoy their vacation!  Waiting’s going to suck tho, I’m ngl about that...  Oh well, I’m willing to take the sacrifice if it means having healthy mangka.  Thankfully, we still have the anime and the new exhibition to tide us over until then.

Edit: OR NOT SINCE THE EXHIBITION IS TEMPORARILY CLOSED BECAUSE OF A CERTAIN PANDEMIC GOING NUTS IN JAPAN AFTER ONLY BEING OPEN FOR 2 DAYS 😭 

Edit: I went back to re-read the chapter and I completely missed the date for the next chapter (chapter 311) which is set to release on May 9th!  So, we’re actually getting a 2 week break instead.  Damn...  Sucks for us, but it’s good for mangaka to get breaks when they can especially considering their absolutely insane schedule.

Me reading this chapter:

[meobsessions]

Hi! I saw you were taking requests, so I was wondering if you could maybe do a Dutch x reader where its later game Dutch and the reader is trying to keep him from spiraling further and it's just super angsty? If you don't have time or the inspiration to write it, don't worry about it. Love ya thanks!!

Wow, this was requested forever ago, and I just now got to it 💀sorry about the wait, hope this makes up for it (she’s a long one)!

Title: With Me or Against Me

Word Count: 9.4K

Rating: M (swearing, violence, suggestive themes, no actual smut tho)

Summary:  When you first met Dutch Van Der Linde, the two of you were in love. It was bliss. But as the gang is on the run from the law, trying to stay hidden and safe, tensions rise and you find the two of you drifting apart. That's not what you want to happen, but you find as you try to fix things with your love it only gets worse. When you finally confront Dutch will it make everything better, or will it be damaged beyond repair?

Here’s the AO3 link:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29191437

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Meeting Dutch van der Linde had been the best thing you had ever done. 

The work you did to make a living wasn't anything big, but it was enough for you to get by on your own. Delivering packages from one post office to the other was something that most people didn't want to do--it consisted of long days and uncontrollable weather conditions, but you always liked traveling. Seeing different sights, meeting new people, and giving your brown quarterhorse, Scout, some good exercise gave you more joy than spending your days in saloons like it did most people.

The first time you met Dutch van der Linde it was quite dramatic. Like a knight in shining armor, he saved you from some men who had surrounded you while you were riding your horse to a neighboring town. They wanted your packages and you told them to go to hell. Bandits weren't uncommon, so you made sure to always carry a pistol, but the three of them to your one presented odds even you weren't happy about. Dutch showed up out of nowhere, along with a man who introduced himself as Arthur. Dutch tried calmly speaking to the men, but when they drew their guns he didn't hesitate in pulling his own and shooting the one closest to you in the head. The other men spooked and took off, shouting idle threats as they left in a cloud of dust. 

When you had the chance to get a proper look at him, you were taken aback by just how handsome he was. Dark hair slicked back, a well-trimmed goatee on his face, warm brown eyes, and a muscular build visible even underneath his dress clothes. You hoped he didn't notice your ogling and looked him in the eye, thanking him profusely. He merely said he was doing what any decent man would do. He was suave, you had brazenly flirted, and then you were on your way. Though you didn't see the man for another week, he never left your mind. 

Then when you were delivering packages to a farther town, one that required you to ride through the night, you heard some scuffling in the woods. Thinking it nothing more than a random animal, you urged Scout on until you heard the following groan that was most definitely human. 

The last thing you were expecting was to find a drunk Dutch practically passed out in a bush. He didn't seem to be hurt, and it just looked like he had too many to drink after a good night out, so you weren't worried. After getting ahold of your laughter, you helped him onto your horse--his was nowhere in sight--and took him to the hotel in town where you paid for his room. He grabbed your hand just before you slipped from the room, and asked you to stay. Though a part of you was tempted, you politely declined. You just wanted to make sure he was safe in his inebriated state. It was the least you could do for him after what he had done for you. 

But if there was one thing you would learn about Dutch van der Linde in the coming months, it was that he was a man of determination. 

In simple terms, he didn't leave you alone. He always seemed to just so happen to be at the next town you were to go to. You'd bump into him at the post office, as that was where you normally went first. At first, you thought it was just a coincidence. He took you to dinner that night as a thank you for what you did when you found him. You told him it was unnecessary, but he insisted. 

But as time went on, the bumping into each other became more frequent, the dinners were expected, and the talks were longer. 

And after a month of this, it became clear that he was wooing you. 

Did he do so successfully? Yes. Were you going to take it easy on him for doing so? Absolutely not.

Though Dutch was a man of class, he was also just that: a man. If there was one thing your mama taught you that you remembered, it was that you should never change yourself for a man. So you didn't. 

You showed him who you were. What you liked doing. How you enjoyed your freedom and independence, more than most women you've encountered in your travels get the pleasure of enjoying. You expected him to be appalled, disgusted, wanting to move onto some other submissive woman. 

But instead of doing so, he was like a moth to a flame and came around even more. 

You met the group of people he traveled with, the people he called his family, and soon you came to understand why. The women were easy to get along with, and then men had their challenges, but don't they all?

After seeing each other for four months, you finally discovered the true nature of what it is that Dutch and his family did. You had been delivering a small box to one of the fancier towns in the country when you began to hear gunshots. When you walked down the street, you saw that the bank was being robbed. This wasn't uncommon--people didn't have money and some figured the only way to get it was by force. 

But what shocked you was the familiar voice that was calling out orders to the men who had bandanas on their faces as they ran from the building, large bags clutched in their hands. The man, whose hair was as dark as the night, turned in your direction and seemed to lock eyes in the crowd. He paused, and then another one of the men, this one also with familiar sandy blonde hair, grabbed his arm. He seemed to shake it off and ran around the back of the bank. 

Needless to say, when you saw Dutch that night you confronted him. You weren't going to keep secrets between the two of you, not when you were beginning to harbor some serious feelings for the man. 

He admitted to seeing you, and that he didn't want you to find out--at least not in the way you had. He told you what you did, how he had dreams of making a safe home for his family where they could live comfortably for the rest of their lives. 

And man if that dream didn't sound beautiful to you. 

And when he showed you how much money he managed to get from the bank, it didn't hurt either. 

Shortly after that, Dutch asked you to join the group, to travel with them. He told you they were going farther south than they had before, and that he couldn't bear to leave you. He wanted you to come with him, to be with him. 

And there was no way you could say no to that. 

So here you are, almost a year later, still sticking around.

Even after the hot pile of horse shit that was Blackwater. 

That was rough on Dutch, but you were there to help calm him down and think clearly. The two of you were a power pair: the gang looked up to you. Where Dutch was the leader, telling everyone what the plan was for the next step and making sure everyone was provided for, you were there at his side to look after everyone and make sure they had what they needed. You were the one they came to if they really wanted something because they knew that if you batted your lashes at Dutch there was no way he could say no. 

He both loved and hated it, you could tell. But he never told you to stop. 

And though you and Dutch love each other deeply, ready to lay your life down for the other should it come to it, you've also noticed that he's been...more withdrawn as of late. 

You shouldn't complain. A lot has happened in the past six months, and unfortunately, not much of it is good. 

Sean was killed after someone ratted the gang out to the families in Rhodes. Kieran was beheaded as a warning to your gang. Arthur was kidnapped by the Pinkertons, and try as you had to convince Dutch to go after him, Micah was there to whisper in his ear that it wasn't a good idea. You already butt heads with Micah as it is, and you had thought for sure that Dutch would listen to you, but Micah's voice was stronger you suppose. It had hurt, but when Arthur miraculously showed back up on his own, all attention was fixed on getting him better so you pushed it to the back of your mind. 

The time in Saint Denis was nice. Dutch took you to dinner like he did when you first started seeing him. He even took you to the theater and judging by how Dutch simply watched you instead of the show, you get the feeling that he took you there simply for your own pleasure instead of his own. You thanked him in more than one way later that night in your tent. 

Then when he made a plan to rob the bank in Saint Denis, you got a bad feeling in your gut. It didn't sound right to you, and Hosea agreed. In a rare moment, Dutch seemed to display a show of jealousy that you were siding with Hosea over him. You tried to reassure him that you were just looking out for everyone's best interests, but he didn't want to hear it. You didn't like the plan, so you excused yourself from the job and stayed back at camp.

And severely regretted it. 

Hosea and Lenny were killed. The others who went to the bank, Dutch included, disappeared. For a month. All of you thought them dead, unsure if they managed to escape or if the Pinkertons eventually got them in the end. You were all overcome with grief, and you were riddled with guilt for not being there. Maybe something would have gone differently, maybe if you had tried harder to convince him to stay...

But they came back. Dutch clutched you to him like you were what he needed to survive, and you didn't leave his side (or stop crying) for nearly three days. He put up no argument and didn't complain when you doted over him. He had lost weight, was injured in more than one place, and compared to the other men in the gang when they also eventually regrouped, he was lucky. Javier was shot.

And so you thought things were finally moving in a better direction. He grieved for those you had lost. For Lenny, for Hosea...and you were there for him. There to hold him when he needed it, there to comfort and care. You were his rock. 

And when you arrived at Beaver Hollow, he seemed to be a little more positive than before. Everyone did. Maybe it was the location, maybe it was the town that was nearby where nobody knew who any of you were, or maybe it was the fact that he was inspired once more to look for a place for all of you to settle down. This was finally it, you hoped, and then you could live the rest of your days out happily. 

Except Dutch started spending less time with you and more with Micah and Bill. More time was spent either at Micah's table or in your tent, and Dutch didn't allow you in the tent when he was talking over plans with the men. 

You had frowned and argued. "Since when am I not included in the plans?"

He shook his head and cupped your cheek, but you stepped out of his touch, unable to hide how hurt you were from being excluded. "We don't keep secrets, Dutch."

"It's not a secret," he had frowned, "it's a plan. The less who know, the better. I promise that once we get everything laid out here, it'll already be over. It just ain't...the safest of things, Sweetheart."

You didn't want to hear his words anymore and so you left. 

And that was the beginning of the rift. 

Dutch tried to patch things up at first, reassuring you that he was doing this for your safety, but you just wanted him to be done with his plans. You didn't want any more risky business like the bank in Saint Denis. Hosea's death had been the last you could take. You couldn't lose him too. 

But bringing up Hosea's death was a bad idea. He had closed off almost immediately. Micah had snickered and told you to go sew with the other women where you'd be useful, instead of distracting the boss. You had scoffed at his words, expecting Dutch to come to your defense, but...he didn't.

And so the hurt between the two of you grew. You stopped actively seeking him out, and he did the same with you. You started spending more time with Miss Grimshaw and Arthur on occasion, going out to hunt with him just so you'd feel useful. He knew that there was something wrong, but he never asked. And for his silence you were grateful. 

One morning something was different. Dutch was gone already when you wake up, and as of late that isn't odd. It hurts your heart to think about how you were when you first moved in with him, how he would hold you in his arms as if you were the most precious thing he'd ever had in the world. He told you about Annabelle, about how deeply he cared for her. You told him about your own experience with love. About the man you had been engaged to for a time, about how you broke it off because he wanted to keep you at home. 

He told you how though he cared deeply for Annabelle, he never thought it possible to love a person more...until he met you. And you told him you never knew what it meant to love someone until you met him. 

But these days you don't get that feeling from him anymore. It's like breaking up, even though you're still seeing the person. It's awful. 

And the worst part? You still love him with every breath you take. You still watch him as he walks through camp, as he talks with the others. When he glances your way you turn, almost embarrassed that he would think you were looking at him, even though just a little bit ago you would have done so without hesitation. 

You miss your best friend. 

"You listenin'?"

You tear your eyes away from where Dutch is deep in conversation with Micah, a frown tugging the edges of his lips down. Tilly has her hands on her hips as she waits for an answer from you. "Yeah, sorry. Just lost in thought, I guess."

She scoffs and shakes her head. "Lost in thought my ass."

You frown but take your turn and place a domino down, not saying another word on the subject. Mary-Beth looks between the two of you silently, her journal forgotten in her lap. 

"Y/N, when was the last time you was out of camp?"

You glance over at Mary-Beth, trying your best not to look over her shoulder at the man who's constantly on your mind. "I dunno...about two weeks ago, I reckon."

She frowns, tapping her lips with her pencil. "You're lookin' a little worn. Maybe some new scenery would be good for ya."

You can't help the weak smile you give her. "Are you sayin' I look bad?"

She laughs softly at that. "Not at all. I think we could all do with a nice ride around the area. We ain't really...checked it out since we got here. Only a few of the men have had the chance. There ain't no good reason we shouldn't go."

You look to the sky. Though it's only the middle of the day, the sky isn't that bright. There are gray clouds in the sky, a warning of rain to come. Hopefully, it won't happen for a few hours yet.

She's right. Maybe some fresh air, a place that's new and will offer a distraction would be nice. 

This time you allow your eyes to drift to Dutch. He's still deep in thought, and you can't help but sigh. Maybe it would be good for more than just you to get out of here for a little bit. 

Tilly can already see where your thoughts are heading. She throws the rest of her dominoes on the table in frustration and crosses her arms, startling you and Mary-Beth. She looks between the two of you. "What? Just go ask him already."

You snort, and that manages to get a lip twitch from her. You stand and take a deep breath. "I will. Just give me a minute."

You smooth your hand over your skirt, smoothing it as you muster up the courage to speak to Dutch. It shouldn't be this hard, you think to yourself, and just that reminder makes a twinge of sadness race through you. 

Maybe this can be the first step back in the right direction. Just a simple ride, right? Just to go see what's out there? He knows how much you like traveling. You know he does too, so maybe he'll be open to spending some time with you.

Micah spots you first as you walk over. He stops speaking and sneers, not even trying to hide his disgust at you. He's always been jealous of the sway you've had with Dutch, and now that he's somehow managed to gain that upper hand, you can understand how he was feeling. You want nothing more than to rip that mustache off his face. 

Dutch lifts his head and stares at you without saying a word. Of course, he wouldn't speak first. 

You clear your throat. "Me 'nd the ladies was thinkin' of takin' a ride around the area, getting out of camp for a while."

"Just another excuse to avoid the work that needs done 'round here." Micah's voice is dripping with disdain. Dutch shoots him a displeased look but doesn't say anything. 

You continue on. "...how does that sound?"

He takes a deep breath, folding his arms over his chest and looking away from you. "Take Arthur or John with you. We don't know who's living around the area, so just be safe."

You purse your lips. "I was hopin' you'd come with us, Dutch."

His eyes flit to yours quickly, and the surprise in them is gone just as fast as it was there. But you still saw it. Did he not think you wanted him to come?

He sighs and reaches into his pocket, pulling out his pocket watch and checking the time. "I'm too busy today, Y/N."

You frown. "You can't spare any time? Any?"

"He said he's busy," Micah jumps in. You throw a glare at him. 

"I'm not talkin' to you."

"And it's obvious that he don't want to talk to you."

You can't ignore the hurt that Micah's words send through you. Because even though you know he's just trying to make you leave, there's truth behind his statement. Dutch doesn't want to talk to you, otherwise, he'd be looking you in the eye right now. 

"Is that how it's goin' to be between us, Dutch?" You ask quietly. You wave a hand out at Micah. "I barely see you anymore, we can't share more than a few words, and Micah is answerin' for you now? Is that what he is, your bitch?"

Dutch does look at you now, but he's glaring. He's never looked at you like that before. You take a step back, unsure of how to handle this situation. It was never meant to escalate like this.

"Better than bein' his whore," Micah chuckles evilly, and you reach across the table and smack him across the face before he's able to get another word out. The camp goes silent. Micah is on his feet in a second, hands balled into fists at his sides and lip curled. 

"I'll fuckin' gut you, ya slimy--"

"Micah," Dutch barks, standing as well and facing the man, giving you his back. You're not sure what look it is he gives the blonde man, but whatever it is is enough to make him sit back down in his chair. That doesn't mean he doesn't continue to throw dirty looks your way. 

"You're just going to let him say stuff like that? You're not going to say anything?" You ask, pointing at Micah. He looks like he wants to jump across the table and bite your finger off. You don't care that you're shouting at this point. Everything has gone too far--the old Dutch would never have allowed Micah to even look at you like that. "You're going to let him call me a whore and not say a god damn word?"

"You slapped him," Dutch says lowly, turning to look down at you. His brows are pulled together as he frowns down at you, annoyed that this is happening. That people in camp are listening in. 

"Because he called me a whore, Dutch. It was an insult to me, and it was an insult to you." You shake your head, unable to believe that you even have to explain yourself. "Be honest with me Dutch, because that's all I've ever wanted from you was, to be honest. Do you even care anymore?"

He blinks, some of his anger fading away. He clearly wasn't expecting that question to come from you, not right now. "What?"

You feel your eyes begin to burn as the hurt, the loneliness, the grief from the past months start to creep forward. "About me. Do you care about me anymore, Dutch? I feel like I'm alone. I feel like you don't even want to be around me. I feel like a god damn nuisance to you anymore."

His face softens, and he murmurs your name quietly. "I didn't mean--"

"She's just lookin' for attention, boss. We got more important things to do." Micah growls, the back of his hand pressed to his inflamed cheek. Your eyes cut to him briefly before going back to Dutch. 

Do it, you think to yourself, prove him and me wrong. Prove that you still care about me. Pick me over him.

But Dutch just snaps his mouth shut, tight enough that you can hear his teeth clack. A muscle ticks briefly in his jaw. "I am trying to plan something for all of us, Y/N. A better way of livin'. I can't do that if I can't focus, and all it seems that anybody around here can do anymore is distract me."

And just like that, your heart drops to your stomach. 

You let out a shaky breath as tears start to stream down your face. Dutch's eyebrows raise in surprise and he flinches, his hand automatically reaching out towards you even though he probably doesn't mean for it to. "Y/N--"

"Don't touch me," you hiss, taking a step backward out of his reach, "don't talk to me. I can't do this to myself. I love you, Dutch van der Linde, and you're breaking my heart."

You turn without another word, refusing to look him in the eye. You pass the table you just sat at with the women, ignoring their sympathetic looks and the way the men politely avert their eyes as you walk past. 

Only one man tries to stop you. "Y/N," Arthur calls, jogging to reach your side, but you throw a hand out behind you to tell him to stop. 

"I'm goin' out," you say, hating the way your voice shakes. You go over to Scout and don't even bother putting the saddle on him, knowing you'll be gone quicker if you go bareback. You hike up your skirts and throw yourself on his back, grabbing fistfuls of his mane and finally looking down at your other friend in this camp. Arthur looks lost, like he isn't sure if he should push and follow you anyway or give you the space you're asking for. "Don't follow me. I need time alone to fuckin' think."

You squeeze your legs and Scout takes off, going faster than you asked but letting it go since it's been a while since he's been allowed to move like this. You let the sounds of camp fade away in the dust that Scout picks up and focus on getting as far away from this nightmare as you can.

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You'll never admit it to anyone, but part of you knows that riding off like that, alone, when there's a storm gathering in the sky and the sun is beginning to set might not have been the smartest thing to do. 

But you're feeling sad, hurt, betrayed, so you don't really give a shit. 

When you first rode off you headed towards the nearby town, but you remembered you don't have any money or weapon on you, so you turn and head off down the trail through the woods instead. It's an obvious path and doesn't seem all that threatening, and Scout is calm as he trots along, so you push any possible fears to the back of your mind and instead focus on stewing about what has happened between you and the man that you would kill for. 

You give Scout control and allow him to wander wherever he pleases, satisfied when he decides to linger around a small stream just away from the main trail. You dismount and sit down at the bottom of a tree, pulling your knees up to your chest and watching Scout as he starts sniffing around the area. Once you're ready to go you'll whistle for him and he'll come, but for now you're fine with just being here for a while. 

The sound of the stream is calming in ways you didn't think possible, and every once in a while you see a rogue squirrel or bird come to the area before catching sight of you and quickly scurrying off. 

You just can't believe that Dutch is acting like this, treating you like this. You fell in love with the Dutch who knew what he wanted but cared enough for everyone else that he was careful about making such rash decisions. And most importantly of all, he included you in what he was doing. It made you feel wanted, made you feel like he needed you by his side. 

And now?

Now you feel like a bother. Like you're some garbage he's stuck with and he's looking for the closest trash can to throw you out in. 

You gave up your life for this man because you wanted to. You wanted to travel with him, join his family, be by his side. As you were around him, you got to know the real Dutch van der Linde. The one who had big dreams and wanted to share them with you. The Dutch who loved you. 

You don't know if that man exists anymore. 

It's not until a tear falls on your hand that you realize you're crying. You wipe your face clean and stand to your feet, deciding you can go for another ride and looking around for Scout. You don't want to shed any tears, especially for a man who no longer shares the same feelings for you as you do for him.

Not spotting Scout, you put your fingers in your mouth and whistle loudly. An answering whinny sounds just down the stream, so you start trudging down the rocks in that direction. 

"--the hell is a horse doin' down here?"

You hesitate on a rock, looking down the path and seeing a man sitting astride his own horse as he peers at Scout. He doesn't look threatening, and you don't spot a gun on him anywhere, so you continue moving and clear your throat, alerting him to your presence. 

"Oh, hello," he frowns as he greets you. Not the most welcoming thing, but you've certainly had worse. "Didn't see ya there."

"Hello," you keep one eye on him as you walk up to Scout and scratch his muzzle when he thrusts it in your direction, "sorry if he startled you."

He looks you over from head to toe, almost as if he's assessing if you're a threat like you did with him just a moment before. "Just surprised is all. Ain't many wild horses 'round here."

"He ain't wild, we were just takin' a ride is all."

"He's not wild?" He asks, sounding surprised even though he can clearly see how easily you're interacting with him. You take a better look at the man. He seems to be around his mid-forties, with long legs and a lanky frame. Though he looks like a twig you wouldn't doubt that he's got more strength in him than he's willing to show. You know better than to judge a book by its cover, especially considering some of the people you live with. 

"No, sir, he ain't. I was just headin' back home, but it was nice to meet you."

"You out here by yourself?"

You keep your back to him as you mount up on Scout once more, making sure to hide the way your eyes widen at his question. Why is he being so pushy?

"No, sir, my brother is just upstream. We're on our way to visit our father."

The man strokes a hand over his clean-shaven face in thought. It isn't until now that you start to feel a hint of unease bloom inside you. Get out, your mind says to you, get away from here.

"Well, these places ain't nice to a lady on her own, 'specially one who's as pretty as you are. Would you like me to ride with ya until you meet up with your brother?"

You shake your head as the fear you had pushed away earlier starts to come back. "I appreciate the offer, but it's unnecessary. Have a nice day."

With a gentle squeeze of your legs, Scout starts walking up the stream and away from the mysterious stranger. "Hope you get there soon!" He calls after you, his voice scaring all the critters that had been lingering in the bushes. "Rain's comin'. Stay dry!"

You say nothing and make Scout move a little faster, just wanting to get out of there. Thankfully you don't notice anyone following you, even five minutes after you left the area, so the man didn't follow you. A sigh of relief escapes you and you start pushing Scout back in the general direction of the camp. 

The man was right about the weather. Not twenty minutes into your ride back to camp and the rain starts. It's a small trickle at first, nothing too bad, but then five minutes later and it's as though the gates of heaven themselves have opened up and the earth is being flooded for the second time. You have to rely on Scout to really know where he's going, as the rain is so heavy that you can barely see more than five feet in front of you. Your clothes are soaked less than a few minutes later, and you're starting to seriously regret riding this far from camp. Or any shelter, really. 

Thirty minutes later and the rain has lessened, though it's still steady as it falls from the clouds. The cold no longer bothers you, but you're not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Scout is puffing and constantly shaking his mane, trying to clear off some of the rain running into his eyes, and you feel guilty that your horse is suffering because you needed to be alone. 

"I'll give you lots of treats when we get back," you pat his neck, "promise."

"Hey!"

You look up ahead and see that just off the main path there are a few men standing on the ground by their horses, looking directly at you. They're dressed in long black coats and hats that are shielding their faces from the rain. As you ride closer, you can see that they have pistols strapped around their waist. That uneasy feeling from before comes back again. 

"Can't talk," you call out as you get close, "weather is unkind, gentlemen."

Two of the four men step away from their horses and into the path, causing Scout to slow down automatically. You grip his mane tightly and sit up straighter as they force you to stop anyway. 

"Sorry 'bout holdin' you up, Miss," the one man says as he walks over to Scout's side to peer up at you. He's tall and well-built, and if you had to guess you would say he was either involved with the law in some way or a ranch hand. "But we just wanted to know if ya saw a man here recently. Tall, middle-aged. Has dark hair, nearly black, dresses real smart?"

You fall silent, the image in your head instantly forming into one of Dutch. You swallow and wipe some of the rain off your face before shaking your head. "No, sir. Haven't seen him."

The man nods, but judging by the way his lips thin you can tell he isn't happy with your answer. He waves the other man standing in the path over, and he goes to stand on Scout's other side. The man walks up and places a hand on Scout's muzzle, acting like he's petting your horse when in reality you know that that's not his intent. 

"Say, this ain't the kinda place for a woman to be out alone," the first man says, and you tighten your hold on Scout's mane. "What're the odds you're out here travelin' alone?"

"Small," you say through a thin-lipped smile. "My brother is waiting. The storm just caught up to us. Now if you'll excuse me--"

"Haven't seen any other man ride through here," he interrupts your excuse, "think it'd be best if you waited here with us for a while."

You narrow your eyes. "No. Step away from my horse, please."

The second man chuckles humorlessly. "Better listen to what he says, Sweetcheeks."

When you feel a hand start to creep up your leg that's pressed against Scout's side you inhale sharply, caught off guard by the brazen touch. You don't hesitate when you tighten your grip on your horse's mane and squeeze your thighs, urging him off and away from the men. You startle the two men with your sudden departure and you hear swearing before there are some whistles behind you.

Looking over your shoulder through the rain you're just able to make out the four men as they mount their horses and take off after you, shouts of glee echoing through the thunder. You force down the panic that threatens to rise inside you and face forward once more, lowering yourself and trying to help Scout ride as fast as possible. 

The rain makes it hard to see, but thankfully Scout has a good sense of where to go and where to avoid. He takes you through the woods and weaves around trees, making it harder for the pursuing men to follow your trail. You start to feel like you might actually make it out of here, that you might actually succeed in losing them. 

Until they start firing their guns. As good of a horse as Scout is, if there's one thing he hates it's guns. He spooks and startles so bad that he trips over his own hooves, nearly sending the two of you tumbling forwards. You can tell from their shots that the men aren't trying to hit you, but they are trying to scare you. 

Sadly, it's working. 

Just as Scout makes a breakthrough the woods into an open clearing, a bullet is fired too close for comfort and lodges itself into the bark of a tree just by Scout's head. Your poor horse rears and lets out a whinny of pure fear, and if you weren't bareback and if it hadn't rained then you would've been able to hold on. But Scout is too slippery and is shaking too much so you fall onto your back on the hard ground with a muffled thud, the impact knocking the breath out of your lungs and causing you to bite your tongue hard enough to draw blood. Scout takes off into the clearing and over a hill until he's out of sight, leaving you for the wolves. 

The men ride out of the woods and surround you just as you start to push yourself up, two of them immediately hopping down and circling you like vultures. The one from before who touched your leg kneels down beside you and shoves you back onto the ground by your shoulders, looking up and down your body with a disgusting glint in his eye. You reach up and slap his face, just like you did to Micah a few hours ago, and give him a good kick to his chest as well for good measure. He falls away from you with a grunt and his eyes turn angry, his lips pulling down in a sneer. 

You just can't seem to please any men. 

Not that you care to please them.

"Son of a bitch--"

"--just hold 'er down--"

"--make sure she ain't got any weapons--"

You let out a scream of frustration as multiple sets of hands grab hold of you then, one of them holding you down again by your shoulders, another skimming over your clothes to check for a gun or knife, another just touching and feeling and being all over intrusive. You try not to panic, you try to fight back, but when a fourth pair of hands grabs hold of your own and starts to wrap rope around them, effectively restricting you, you start to feel hopeless. 

"Let me go!" You cry out, your voice competing with the cracks of thunder that shake the sky above you. Rain is falling into your eyes and mixing with your tears as you grit your teeth. "I'll fuckin' kill all of you! Get away from me!"

"Let's take her to the cabin," one of the men says, and the other starts making noises of agreement. You're pulled up onto your feet and then thrown over the shoulder of one of them like a sack of potatoes, but you continue fighting. You bang your fists into his back, kick your legs, scream until your throat feels like it's going to start bleeding. 

And then one harsh strike to your head with the butt of a rifle takes the fight out of you. You try to stay awake as your vision swims, your ears ring, and your stomach churns, the man's shoulder suddenly pressing into the wrong spot of your stomach. Something warm runs down the side of your face, a stark contrast to the cool rain that's already running in rivulets there. 

And then suddenly the man holding you is dropping to the ground like a stone, his hold completely gone. You roll off his shoulder and onto the ground, your face pressed into the cold and muddy ground. The ringing slowly fades away and you can make out shouting, but not shouts of triumph. No, it's a mixture of panic and fury.

You open your eyes and see what looks like more men riding towards you on horses, though you're not sure if they're here to join the men you're currently with or not. 

More gunshots ring out and you watch as another one of the men standing near you falls to the ground, dead. The other two fumble for their weapons and start firing back, not expecting the attack and underprepared for it. It doesn't take long before they're also on the ground, blood spilling from their own wounds. 

Three horses come to a stop near you and the men quickly dismount. Two sets of hurried footsteps move in your direction, and then someone's knees are hitting the ground as they fall beside you. A new set of hands reaches out and lifts you out of the mud and props you up in their arms, far more gentler than the other men did. 

You blink away the rain and mud and whatever other substances might be in your eyes and focus on whoever it is that's holding you, feeling surprised when you see it's Dutch.

"Dutch?" You ask, almost unable to believe he's really here.

He's soaked to the bone and even though your vision is still a little murky from the knock to the head, the anguish is as clear as day. 

He says your name like a whisper of a prayer--like he's unable to believe that you're right there. Someone else kneels down on your other side and takes your hands, quickly flicking their knife through the rope and cutting you free. Arthur is watching you with concern in his eyes as he tucks his knife back into his pocket and stands to his feet once more. 

"Talk to me," Dutch says hoarsely, "are you hurt? How do you feel? Did they touch--" he closes his eyes tightly and grinds his teeth together.

"We're lucky that man back there told us 'bout which direction you was headin' in," Arthur says gruffly, locking eyes with Dutch. 

Man? What man? And then it hits you. The man from the stream. 

The man who also fit the description of who these men were looking for. Most likely their actual target, instead of Dutch. 

And he just saved you by telling Dutch and Arthur where you were headed. 

"C-cold," you finally croak, feeling the rain leech into your skin and take any and all warmth from you. Dutch's hands tighten on you and he looks up at Arthur, nodding firmly. Dutch stands to his feet and brings you with him, keeping his arms firmly around you as he whistles for his horse. The familiar beast ambles over and Dutch carefully lifts you onto the saddle there before mounting behind you. He takes his coat and bundles you in it until you're tucked in, though it won't do much since it's also soaked with the rain. He wraps one arm firmly around your waist and brings you into his chest before taking hold of the reins and flicking them, urging the two of you off and back towards camp. 

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You're shaking by the time you get back, unable to stop the chills that are racing up and down your body. Dutch keeps you clutched tightly in his hold, your head in his neck, and his chin resting on top of your head. When you finally see Bill standing on guard at camp you feel as though you could cry tears of relief. 

"Miss Grimshaw!" He calls, his voice cracking at the urgency of his tone, "I need hot water and dry blankets!"

Susan pokes her head out of her own tent, annoyed that she's being asked to do something when it's raining but then that quickly fades when she takes in your state. She nods once and gets to work without a word. 

Dutch rides his horse over to your tent instead of stopping where the others are. He dismounts first and then before you have a chance to get down yourself he's bundling you up in his arms and carrying you into your tent, one arm beneath your shoulders and the other under your knees. You lean against his chest, tired and cold, and happily accepting any form of heat that you can get. 

He places you on your bed and starts hastily pulling your clothes off, and if you weren't still reeling from what just happened and if you weren't still upset about what he did earlier today then maybe you would have laughed. Maybe you would have told him to calm himself and slow down. 

"Dutch," you murmur as he gets to your blouse and starts unbuttoning it. He ignores you and keeps moving, determined to get your clothes off. "Dutch."

"You'll freeze," he hisses, his eyes almost black as he looks at you for the first time since he found you on the ground. You swallow and let out a deep breath. "You can't...you can't be wearing these. You need warm clothes, honey."

The name makes you melt just a little bit, but you still reach up and take hold of his hands, forcing him to stop. He frowns as he looks to you for an explanation. 

You swallow and look down at your muddied skirt. "I can do it myself."

"What?" He asks quietly, hands tightening their hold on your own. "Why would you--"

"I haven't forgotten this morning," you clench your eyes shut and try not to get too angry as you think of the betrayal you felt just hours ago. "I appreciate you helping me, but I know now that you have more important things to do than be here with me."

There's a moment of silence as Dutch lets your confession hang in the air between the two of you. You're afraid to look him in the eye, afraid of what you'll find there. He hasn't had time to think through things as you have, he probably feels no different now than he did this morning. 

"Y/N," he shocks you by leaning forward and pressing his forehead against your own. You jolt and look at him in surprise, finally meeting his gaze. He looks troubled, weighed down, tired. All of you in the camp are feeling those things, but Dutch? He feels all of them but in a more profound way. In a way that others will never understand because they're not expected to lead this group. In a way that you understand because you've seen him go through it, experience it, live it. 

And sometimes he forgets that you know this part of him. 

"I saw what those men were doing, how they touched you," he spits the words, his face screwing up in anger. "And I'm sorry I didn't stop them sooner. I should've been there."

"Dutch," you frown, not stopping him as he continues to unbutton your shirt and tug it off your shoulders. It's been a while since the two of you have been intimate with each other, and so him doing this, him touching you and taking care of you brings up feelings that you thought were gone. 

"I can't lose you too," he finally admits, his voice breaking and his hands stilling as he clenches his eyes shut. "I can't. I can't. You ran from here, straight into the path of those sick bastards, all because of me. If they had...if they had taken you from me, I wouldn't have been able to handle it. Not after Annabelle. Not after Hosea. Not you."

You cup his face with your ice-cold hands, unable to stop yourself from tilting his chin up and pressing a kiss to his lips. He's warmer than you, and he flinches as your cold skin touches his own, but he doesn't pull away. He doesn't shrug you off and push you to the side as he did earlier. 

"I have the water," Miss Grimshaw calls from outside of your tent. You can tell that Dutch is loathed to move but he stands up and slips out quickly before bringing the large basin inside, the steam still rising from the water as it sloshes around. You look him over from head to toe, noticing how the rain has made his clothing stick to his body like a second skin, accentuating his muscles and strength. 

"Come here, Sweetheart," Dutch says softly as he takes your hands and helps you to your feet. He helps you step out of the rest of your clothes, his eyes lingering only briefly on your body before gently lowering you into the water. You can't help but groan as the warm water instantly soothes your aching muscles and burns away the worst of the cold that was clinging to your skin. You expect him to sit on a chair and let you soak, but he surprises you by sitting on the ground and grabbing a cloth, wiping your face clean. 

He dabs around the wound on your temple, frowning as he soaks up the blood that had run down your face and makes you clean once more. You watch him closely, afraid that if you look away then this side of your old Dutch will fade away with the storm. 

"What?" He finally asks after a few minutes of silence. 

"Are we goin' to be okay?"

He hesitates when you ask that, his brown eyes locking with your own. "Of course we'll be okay. This plan--"

"No." Your voice is firm. "Are we going to be okay, Dutch? I can't...the thing that happened with Micah today. I can't take you choosing him over me."

Dutch frowns. "I didn't choose him over you."

You nod once. "You did, Dutch. And you're too blind to this plan of yours that you don't even see it."

His brows furrow, showing a hint of annoyance. "Now, Y/N--"

"No, Dutch. I'm trying to live my life, happily, and with people I love. I love the members of this family you've let me into, all of them are great. Except for Micah. He's shit and he's creating a rift between all of us that is soon goin' to be too big to fix." Tears begin to build in your eyes. "And you 'nd I aren't on the same side, Dutch. So when it finally splits, what's goin' to happen to us? Is there even goin' to be an us?"

"Hey," Dutch reaches out and gently holds your chin with his thumb and forefinger, forcing you to look at him, "nothing is going to happen to us. I'm making a better life for us--"

"Do it another way."

He shakes his head, caught off guard. "What?"

You grit your teeth. "Do. It. Another. Way."

"What does that even mean, Y/N?"

"I want this better life, Dutch. This dream you've told me about from the beginning. I want that, I want that for us. But it ain't gonna happen with this plan, especially if you're makin' it with Micah and I ain't allowed to know what it is."

"Micah has good ideas--"

"I don't care!" Your frustration finally breaks through, and you decide now is as good a time as any to let it all out. "I don't care if he has the best plan in the world. Micah Bell is ruining our family, Dutch. He's killing all of us, turning you against us and makin' you think we're out to get you when we love you!" Your lower lip wobbles and you bury your face in your hands for a moment, getting your composure back. "So you need to make a choice, Dutch. You either do it another way, or I'm gone."

He falls back on his haunches, eyes wide as he stares at you with an open mouth. "Y/N--"

You tear your eyes away from him, unable to look at him while simultaneously feeling your heart break. You take the rag that now lies forgotten and continue to clean yourself, trying your best not to wince when you brush over a particularly tender spot that smarts with pain. 

A large hand slowly and gently encompasses your own, halting your movements. You look up with stinging eyes, afraid of what you'll find. Dutch's hair is unkempt, his face paler than usual and bags under his eyes. He's exhausted. You're exhausted. Both mentally and physically. He looks the same. 

"I mean what I said, Y/N," he murmurs quietly, "I can't lose you." He squeezes his hand over your own, an intensity crawling into his chocolate brown eyes as he refuses to leave your gaze. "I didn't know that you were feeling like this."

"It's not just me, Dutch," you try not to let your voice wobble, but it still sounds shaky anyway, "it's our family. We don't like what's happening here. We don't feel safe. We just want a home."

"Home," he murmurs, and you know it's more to himself than to you. 

"Micah is not a part of my home." You solidify your voice, making sure to stress to him how serious you are about that statement. "I want the others, Dutch. I want Abigail and Susan and Tilly and John and Arthur. I don't want Micah. I don't want him with us and our family." You take his hand and lift it so you can press a delicate kiss to his knuckles. "Our family, Dutch. Blood or otherwise. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Dutch watches you with a lost expression, so to help you take his hand and dip it in the water, guiding it until it's resting lightly on your belly. His fingers tickle your skin but his touch is soft and gentle. His eyes widen as he finally understands the message you're trying to tell him. 

"I want a home. I want our family." You take a deep breath, tears once more brimming in your eyes. "And I don't want Micah there for it."

Dutch's face falls blank, and then he's pushing off his knees and standing to his feet. You think it's a rejection, him getting ready to leave you, your demands too high, and you want to cry. Tears slip down the side of your face and fall in the water to mix with the dirt and blood that's swirling around. 

But Dutch surprises you when he gently grasps your hands and pulls you up to your feet, helping to gingerly guide you out of the tub, taking care so you don't slip and fall. He takes one of the towels that are sitting over by the entrance of the tent and wraps it around you, guiding you over to your cot and urging you to sit down. You do so, keeping it held tightly around your shoulders as he then pulls out a pair of his long johns and a soft union shirt. He helps to dry you off before leading your limbs through the holes in the clothing, putting dry and clean clothes on you. 

"Dutch--" you ask in confusion, but he merely blows out the candle that's burning on the table and strips out of his own wet clothes, dressing himself once again in quick fashion before guiding you to lay down on the bed. He crawls in beside you, using his large hands to grasp your waist and tug you into his chest, one of them skimming up your back and cradling the base of your skull, asking you to rest your head in the crook of his neck. You do so without hesitation. 

"I'll always pick you," he presses a kiss to your forehead, and in the darkness of the tent you start to cry once again, a wave of relief as big as a tsunami washing over you at the realization that he's not picking Micah over you this time. "I'll make a new plan, Sweetheart, for us. For our future."

You grab handfuls of his shirt and tilt your head up, peppering kisses along his jaw and over to his lips where you give him a longer and more meaningful kiss. "Do you promise?"

He nuzzles his face into your hair, letting out a sigh. "Anything for our family." He snakes one hand to your waist and softly brushes his thumb over your belly. "Both of them."