#also watching BoB as an older adult is so much more interesting now

[scizzuhs]

Upon watching Band of Brothers for the umpteenth time since like, 2013, I can confirm 2 things:

BoB never gets old. Like ever. It’s timeless.

I still fucking love Joseph Liebgott so damn much.

[andorskenobi]

Apple Pie | B. Floyd

Pairing: Robert 'Bob' Floyd x f!Mitchell!Reader

Part 2

Summary: Moving around a lot as a child made feeling at home difficult for you as an adult, that was until you met Bob. Nickname: Vienna

Warnings: just pure fluff, bob (he's dangerously loveable)

a/n: in case you haven't noticed I really like Lizzy McAlpine, once again I really recommend this song it's very cute and I love it. also this is most likely going to have multiple parts so let me know if you'd be interested in that

w/c: 2,501

-----------------------------

You'd lived in North Island for two years now, but still it never quite felt like home. Granted, you never really understood what home felt like since you moved around so much as a child. You decided on North Island because it was the closest to home you'd ever felt growing up. The plan ending up working out in the end as your dad was called back to Top Gun.

You were excited to have your dad back in town, more so when he asked to meet you at the Hard Deck that evening. You sat in your usual spot at the bar talking with Penny when a group of pilots walked in, the taller blonde one catching your attention for a few seconds before you returned your attention to Penny.

"So tell me, who are you waiting for?" She had asked that at least for times since you had sat down, but you refused to tell her not wanting to spoil the surprise. Penny was one of the few women that your father had been with that you actually liked, excluding your mother of course. She'd passed when you were born, hence you growing up with your dad.

"I am not telling you, it's a surprise." Penny just huffed and turned her attention to another bar patron. You fiddled with the neck of your beer glancing back at the door every few seconds it seemed like.

"This seat taken?" You shook your head before looking at the source of the voice. He was another pilot, granted he didn't carry the pilot demeanor you'd grown used to over the years of being surrounded by both your dad and Iceman. He smiled at you as he sat down, politely waiting for Penny to notice him rather than hollering for her, which is what most of the patrons did.

You weren't sure if you should speak to him so you sat quietly beside him, feeling unusually shy in his presence. However, he spoke first for you.

"I'm Bob, by the way." He reached his hand out for you to shake, an action you took mental note of. You took his name and introduced yourself to him. The two of you began talking, he had been called back to Top Gun just like your father and he was a WSO. You told him about your dad and about growing up in the Navy. Conversation with him was shockingly easy.

You talked for what felt like ages before he asked if you wanted to go over to the pool tables where it was slightly quieter.

"Hey Pen, will you tell me when my dad get here?" You rolled your eyes as she winked at you and shooed you off.

The night moved by quickly laughing and talking with Bob, before you knew it more pilots were showing up. You didn't even notice that your dad was already here and watching you while talking to Penny. You were quick to make friends with the other pilots, Phoenix arguably becoming your favorite out of all of them.

"Oh c'mon, you can't be that good Hangman." You laughed as Hangman stared at you with an open mouth.

"What would you even know about flying, sweetheart." Bob watched you as you rolled your eyes at the cocky blonde.

"My dad's a pilot dipshit. A damn good one too." Before Hangman could retort a familiar voice rang through the bar.

"If it isn't Vienna, as I live and breathe." You smiled at the use of the nickname, you stood up to give him a hug. Besides your dad, he was the only person who made you feel the way you thought home was supposed to feel. Growing up he had always been like an older brother to you, so when he and your father fell out it was very hard for you to pick a side.

"So this is how you tell me your back stateside?" You ask as you pull back from the hug.

"Sorry?" You turn back to find the other pilots looking at the two of you in confusion.

"You guys know each other?" Hangman was the first to speak.

"Something like that." You figured Rooster didn't want them all to know about his father and your father so you kept it short.

The conversation drifted again so you were able to quietly return your attention back to Bob.

"Want another drink?" You asked noticing yours was empty.

Bob shook his head holding up his still practically full bottle, "I'm good. Want me to come with you?"

"No. I'll be quick, and plus Penny will protect me."

You smiled when you saw your dad sitting at the bar talking to Penny, "Hey old man."

Maverick smiled when he saw you, "So you've finally decided to grace your old man with your presence?"

"Oh shut up you're fine, besides you've had company." You winked, nodding your head towards Penny. You dad smiled at you shaking his head before giving you a side hug.

"I can't stay long, I told my company I would be fast. Wouldn't want to worry him." You turned to look at your dad, a small smile on your face. You'd missed him, to say it was nice to be with him again would be an understatement. "He's here ya know, you should try and speak with him. I don't know what happened between you two but I think Goose would have wanted you to fix whatever it is."

He shook his head, "Not tonight."

You sighed taking your drink and going back to join your new friends. The rest of the night was spent in good company, a smile never leaving your face. Slowly, people started funneling out of the bar and soon it was just you and Bob left.

"At least let me walk you home." You smiled at the offer before standing from where you sat.

"Okay fine, but promise you won't kidnap me." Bob shook his head at the joke, making you laugh.

"Let's go."

As the two of you walked you talked more, and the more you learned about him the more you began to like him. He was incredibly sweet and ever the gentleman.

"So what's with the nickname Rooster called you earlier?" You smiled to yourself remembering how you got the nickname.

"It's actually kind of stupid if you think about it, the nickname not the story, because the song is absolutely amazing. Anyways, growing up I would only listen to Vienna by Billy Joel, like that was the only thing I would listen to play anything else and I’d be upset. It got to the point that people just started calling me Vienna so it just kinda stuck with me through life. And plus the little sausage things are the only reason four year old me ate so there’s that too." You turned to look at Bob who was already looking at you with a smile on his face.

"It's not stupid, the nickname I mean. Vienna is an amazing song. Did you ever think about becoming a pilot?" Bob asked to continue the conversation.

"Not really. I mean I went through that phase every kid goes through growing up where they want to be just like their parent, but other than that I never actually wanted to follow the family name. It didn't really feel like me. But I did go as far as joining the Navy so I guess I did follow in my dad's footsteps at least a little. I'm sorry I'm rambling feel free to tell me to shut up."

"No, no, it's fine. Keep rambling." Your smile grew wider as you looked back over at Bob. When you didn't continue he spoke up, "What job do you have, in the Navy I mean."

"I'm a doctor, I work on base actually. Occasionally, I get deployed but not often." You would have kept talking but you realized you were at your house so you stopped, turning to fully face Bob as you did. "Welp, this is where our walk ends. It was nice getting to know you Bob, and I'm hoping since my dad is going to be your teacher I'll get to know you some more."

"I would like that, a lot actually."

The two of you stood looking at each other for a moment longer than any two people should before you gave in and placed a kiss to his cheek, "Goodnight, Bob."

--

It had been a few weeks since you'd met Bob and to say that both of you had grown close would be an understatement. When you weren't busy with work or training you were hanging out. For the first time since you moved to North Island, you were actually starting to feel at home.

You were off of work for the day so you decided to go spend the day with Penny, who since moving back to North Island you'd grown even closer to. The two of you talked on the back deck of the Hard Deck, watching as the group of aviators played some strange game of football that your dad came up with.

"So, you and my dad, how's that going?" You asked when you caught Penny staring at him.

"I don't know what you mean, there is nothing happening there."

"Oh please, every time he's here something happens between the two of you. He's just too blind and dumb to realize he loves you." Penny smiles glancing back over to the group on the beach, her eyes inevitably landing on Maverick.

"Maybe, but I should be asking you the same question about your love life. What's the deal with you and Bob?" You feel the blush rise to your cheeks as you put your head down on the table trying to hide it.

You look back up, avoiding eye contact with Penny and instead watching the game as you spoke, "Nothing really, we're just really good friends."

Of course Penny didn't buy that in the slightest, but she dropped the subject and didn't push for more details. In all honesty you wanted Penny and your dad to actually work this time, she was almost like a mother to you and you could tell she made him happy. You allowed your thoughts to drift as you found yourself watching Bob. You had to resist the urge to celebrate when he scored.

Once they had finished playing Bob made his way over to you, a smile on his face. He waved at Penny before moving to give you a hug.

"You're sweaty, please don't hug me." You laughed as he acted offended. It was like music to Bob's ears, a sound he wished he could replay over and over in his mind.

"I was thinking."

"Oh that's dangerous." Bob rolled his eyes playfully shoving your shoulder.

"Would you maybe want to watch a movie or something at your place? We don't have to it's just an idea and I have free time tonight so, but I get if you don't want to." You smiled at his rambling before placing your hand on his shoulder to stop him.

"I would love to watch movies or something with you at my place, and it's okay to call it a date Bob." A tint of blush rose to his cheeks causing you to laugh.

When the two of you got back to your house you let Bob use your shower because he didn't want to get your couch all sweaty, but in truth you wouldn't really mind. However, him taking a shower gave you time to tidy up and prepare the necessary snack and drinks for watching a movie. You had just finished setting up the coffee table as a miniature snack bar almost when Bob walked out of your bedroom. You had to force yourself not to visibly react to his appearance. His hair was wet and hung in his face as he cleaned his glasses with his shirt.

He smiled when he caught you staring at him, but didn't say anything. Instead he walked over and sat down on the couch, picking the remote up as he did. Now it was his turn to stare at you.

"You going to sit?" You nodded your head, sitting beside him with your feet tucked underneath you.

After a debate about which movie you were going to watch you finally settled on Set It Up, a rom com with a guy who eerily looked a lot like Hangman. As the movie progressed you grew more and more comfortable in Bob's presence until you ended up with your head resting in his lap and his hand running through your hair. It was very comfortable, not just the way you were laying but Bob's being there in general. The only way you really knew to describe the feeling was like eating an apple pie that had been baked just right.

"Why apple pie baked just right?" You rolled over so you could face up at Bob, confusion evident on your face. "You were thinking out loud Vienna."

You brought your hands up to hide your face in embarrassment, but Bob moved them away making you look at him. There was a smile on his face as he waited for you to speak.

"I don't know, apple pie is my favorite desert but only if it's baked right, if not then it isn't good." You watched his facial expression as you spoke.

"So what you're saying is that being with me is like eating your favorite desert?" You nodded your head.

Bob's smile grew making one grow on your face as well, "I'm honored to remind you of your favorite desert."

Before you knew it the movie was over, and you found yourself wishing it wasn't. You worked up the courage to ask Bob if he wanted to stay while the two of you cleaned the living room.

"It's pretty late," You didn't get the chance to finish what you were going to say before Bob interrupted you.

"I'll stay, uh, if that's what you were going to ask. If not I just made this really awkward." Laughter filled the room as you laughed shaking your head.

"You didn't make it awkward, that's what I was going to ask."

"Oh good, that's good."

Bob insisted on staying in the living room while you changed into more comfortable clothes, only coming into your bedroom when you came and got him. The two of you stiffly laid in your bed until you rolled over tucking your head in the crook of his neck, breathing in the smell of him and your soap. You felt Bob relax as he wrapped his arm around you, resting his cheek on your forehead. The comfort you felt around him was unreal almost, you'd never felt it with anyone. If this is what home was supposed to feel like then you wanted to stay here forever in this moment, just the two of you braving the newness of what you could only assume was the start of a relationship.

[scrapyardboyfriends]

I saw the spoilers about Jacob seemingly having his own storyline (first time in forever lmao), and I hope this is a shift in the right direction regarding the younger characters. They are often treated like an afterthought. I watch Hollyoaks too, and the contrast is shocking - the young characters actually have lives of their own and stories that are well developed. Also most of the young characters are so much better developed than characters like Chloe and Jacob (I'm so over Chloe lol, she needs to leave hahaha). I get that Emmerdale has a general older audience than Hollyoaks, but that doesn't mean young characters need to be treated like an afterthought or a plot device, or that older viewers wouldn't be interested in the younger characters or storylines.

His own storyline? Or his own plot point in someone else's story, namely David's exit story. I feel like it's probably the latter.

They really have dropped the ball with the younger characters on this show repeatedly in the last 5-7 years and more really. I mean Belle had a brief little teen friend group but post killing Gemma, she really was very isolated aside from occasional Lachlan stuff and briefly Gerry but she's definitely had a hard transition into adulthood with few peers and she was probably one of the most developed kid characters. The rest never stood a chance.

It's interesting because I came into the show for Aaron's coming out story and he was 17/18 years old and he was so present and connected in the village. I mean the whole show was different then, better. But he was in lots of episodes. He had a real focus during that story and later during the Jackson stuff. He had a job at the garage that we actually saw him work at, which gave him plenty of interactions with Cain, Debbie and Ryan and various customers. He lived with Paddy, which gave him interactions with Paddy and Rhona and Marlon and Pearl. He had Chas as a mum, which gave him interactions with her and Carl and occasionally Jimmy. He had an actual friend in Adam and interacted with the whole Barton family. He also had his friendship with Victoria. And Adam and Holly and Vic and sometimes Hannah/Matty or Amy or Scarlett or Daz etc, really felt like they had a firm place in the show.

These days, these kids are just barely there most of the time. We had that brief period with Liv, Gabby and Jacob and sometimes Gerry or Noah etc that actually interacted and were friends but then I feel like post covid, they really all just stopped interacting. Their transition into adult roles was rough. They gave Gabby a baby, they married Liv off and Jacob....I don't know they killed his girlfriend and let him go to school to be a doctor? But Gabby is stuck in a perpetual loop of throwing herself at the wrong men and then getting angry and obsessive when it doesn't work out and it's exhausting to watch. Liv was stuck in her perpetual alcohol story until the caravan finished her off (RIP Liv) and now Vinny just floats around doing nothing and barely existing. Jacob is also barely there unless he's showing up to occasionally be a plot friend to Gabby, getting stabbed or getting to play doctor on Bob. And I guess he's occasionally spotted in his shop apron but what happens when David does leave? Does he lose his shop job? Does he keep it because Eric continues to own it and they're too complacent to every shake things up with a new family?

I don't know, with everything soooo plot driven these days, no one is really allowed to just exist as a casual character or have smaller plots. So unless you're desperately needed for someone else's plot or you actually get a big story, you're just hardly seen. And if you do get a big story, you're oversaturated for a few weeks until everyone is sick of you and then you disappear for three months until it's time to rehash the story because no one is allowed to just exist like a normal person. And the kids/young adults suffer a lot from this.

Like I know the actress who plays Cathy left to go do her exams or whatever but she had this big story, everyone was so happy to see her go for a while, and then they brought her back and just picked it up again like she didn't have a whole break and it's like "really...in the last three months, she didn't do any kind of growing?"

And then you had Arthur and Marshall who had a whole thing for a while and then disappeared for months only to come back and have them randomly arguing and breaking up. That sort of went the opposite route where you were like "wait what did I miss?"

April has been MIA for ages. Elliot and Angelica barley exist. Samson still barely exists. I regularly forget Sarah is even a character. Heath doesn't exist unless Cathy does. He didn't even need a reason to be off screen cause no one would even know he wasn't there.

Like I had some hope for this group when Arthur's coming out story was happening and Cathy's early PMDD stuff but then it all just fizzled out.

I just wish we could see these kids being friends, starting to work in the village and seeing them at those jobs. Seeing them hanging out at the cafe or seeing them go to the pub with their families. Something. I just miss when the show was less plot driven and you actually saw people exist in the village throughout their day. I always think about Aaron's little plot of getting his driver's license. That would never happen to day. I mean, yes it did lead to him going out that night with Adam and almost kissing him and kicking off his coming out story, but it still happened. The closest we ever got after that was Liv wanting her license but not being allowed because of her epilepsy that went nowhere.

But I mean, really all of the characters are suffering from the way the show is structured now. It's just that you still have a lot of adult characters who are relatively well established so it's less of a problem for them.

I want Jane leaving to be a sign of better times ahead but I really don't know. They just need to completely restructure and overhaul the show from the ground up.

[oracleact]

What is your favourite 5 things about Bob Velseb in extreme detail. '^'

(to keep you busy)

thank you for this, fellow bob enjoyer ♥︎

this is going to be fun and long so I’ll add a read more cut okay here we go:

I love how mysterious his character is. I know that sounds rather vague to start with but I’ll explain - just watching spooky month in passing you’d see bob as a cool ‘villain’ character; nods to his involvement with lila and the rest of the gang are introduced but if you don’t delve deeper it’s simply part of the story that hasn’t been revealed to you yet, you know? whereas bob is the one character who has past involvement with them that continues to hold a sense of mystery for a variety of reasons.

let’s take frank for comparison; for lack of better words, frank nabs children 😭 but he leaves skid and pump alone. not only that, he also gives them rides to where they need to be without bringing any harm to them. he actually prevents them from certain harm at times. this is probably because of frank’s past with lila and pump’s dad (shown in the portrait of them together on halloween when they were younger.) however, that then poses another question in regards to bob: why does he actively target lila and the kids instead? what happened in their past to evoke that? or does he simply target them because he knows them? I’ve read a lot about murderers eating their victims to maintain a sense of togetherness with them. they can become attached and the only way to settle out the attachment is to ‘become one’ with the victim. or is it even bob’s own conscious motive at all? he became...crazed after the police stopped him from killing lila which seemed out of character for him. the studied, purposive state he was in before seemed to just instantly disappear - what made him snap out of himself so hard? even his eyes changed colour.

this second point links with the first about mystery but it isn’t mystery of motives or past events in his life, it’s mystery of his physical/mental person. continuing to use frank, when comparing the physical appearance of frank and bob you’d typically see them to be of the same (or similar) age. however, in the halloween group photo, frank was a child and bob was an established adult. bob does look older than he did back then but really not much at all. it’s as if, at some point, his ageing came to a pause or slowed down. maybe he has been ageing slowly all his life for that matter.

I love how debatable his physical presence is, it makes him so interesting. so many sources of sm information label him as ‘human (presumably)’ like if that doesn’t catch your attention then I don’t know what will. to come nearer to a conclusion of this particular mystery we’d need more information about the cult. the only possibility I could think of for him being non human in some way would be through the cult. did he join later in life? was he already invested in the cult while owning boys and grills? the dude was shot and ran over by a car multiple times yet he still hauled himself up off the ground — I don’t think he’s really dead after tender treats. if he survived that much damage before the ‘final blow’ then there’s obviously something unnatural going on. whether he just can’t die on those terms (possibly because of cult involvement) or the cult then revives him again, I definitely don’t think he’s dead.

moving on to something much lighter that I love about him...candy! when he was first introduced in sm it was a funny distraction but now, after seeing how much he genuinely loves candy, it’s just too cute. this giant bear of man who drools at the thought of stabbing and eating literal people will drool even more at the sight of brightly coloured balls of candy. this goes hand in hand with the fact that he still does the spooky month dance in tender treats - despite his character having a very intimidating and unnerving stature, those little bits of his core personality still get to shine through. I think that’s why so many other people like him in the same way too.

he isn’t just a slasher character dropped down to enhance a story, he is an incredibly important part of the story and his (although bewildering) past and present have been built to show that. he isn’t mindless; he is very smart, he is calculated, he has little quirks like pausing for candy or wanting to join in with a dance before twirling his knife in his hand again. the fact that he isn’t mindless makes him scarier when he’s on the prowl and it’s awesome!

also I’m sorry but I do have to mention how much I love his actual design. pelo doodled the most attractive man and I fell right into the trap. he looks so warm to hug and so comfy to be with like that’s not fair...I want a bob hug...I used to worry that it was very ooc to think that bob would be able to maintain a relationship like that but it isn’t really - it would just take someone as unhinged as he is in reality, but this isn’t reality it’s fiction so uh *shrugs* I think he should cuddle me and let me squish his cheeks. he’d make a perfect yandere boyfriend 😌

was that five things? I think all of my rambling kind of added up as five. maybe it was more than five, I don’t know, but I love bob! that’s all!! he’s so cool and intriguing and I really really hope to see more of him in the future!!!

[mortallyclearwonderland]

Top 10 tropes/cliches/trends that I'm sick and tired of!

In no particular order.

1. Get down!

Someone screams ''Get down!'' or ''Look out!'' but not everybody gets down. Most of the time it's fine. The characters don't have enough time to react and get hit with an attack or whatnot. What I am actually mad about is when characters have quite a lot of time to get out of the way and they're not distracted by anything yet just choose to just stand there and do nothing.

That also applies to whoever is screaming for them to watch out. You see your friend is in danger, you have an ability that can be useful, do something!

But the most infuriating iteration of that cliche is when they say a character's name before whatever they are screaming and it somehow makes anybody else unable to hear what they're talking about.

''Bob, the train is coming!''

‘’My name is Eric, not Bob. I guess I'll just stand on the track and not even acknowledge what I've heard.’’

Extra salt to the wound when the character can totally see what is coming or at least they should but the animators couldn't be bothered to keep track of who and what is where in relation to each other.

2. Meta

I fucking LOATHE this new trend where they make self referential humor to mock the earnestness of the old stories.

Can’t they just let us get immersed in the universe without having those “We know it’s cliché *wink wink*” Especially when they do nothing to deconstruct it, show it in a new light, have an interesting spin on it, nothing. They just point it out like in CinemaSins! And it's especially annoying when they're ''breaking the stereotypes'' which have been broken years ago.

‘’She's not like other girls/princesses! She fights, speaks her mind, and doesn't want to get married to someone she doesn't love at all.’‘

Wow, you broke new ground. It's not like princesses in the 90s were already independent, princes Leia was a badass in the 70s, and even the older princesses, Snow White, Cinderella, and Sleeping Beauty, get way too much hate. Go subvert the cliche which hasn't been used in years and replace it with this other cliche. There are adults and children today who haven't seen a legitimate, 100% helpless, damsel in distress. Seriously, at this point, I would've been more shocked if there was an actual romance in a Disney princess movie.

And they act so smug about it too. Do you want to talk about unwanted marriage? How about you talk about child brides right now? Because that would be actually controversial in those countries!

Just make a movie about a badass princess, nobody cares!

3. Squidward like character

Do you remember how in the bad episodes of Spongebob, Squidward would be just minding his own business, not harming anyone and then Patrick and Spongebob would just barge in and mess everything up. Squidward would straight up say that he wants them to leave but those two numskulls couldn't take a hint. The episode just ends with no consequence whatsoever for the people who made an innocent person's day a living nightmare.

This used to be everywhere! Seemingly every cartoon channel would at least have one cartoon like that if not more.

I guess the idea is that the children are supposed to relate to the annoying obnoxious little brats energetic and innocent little angels who just want to have fun with their parent/older sibling friend but he's being boring and doesn't know how to have fun.

How did the meme go? The older you get the more you relate to Squidward.

4. Why are you surprised by this?

Don't you just hate when a character doesn't know something that should've been common knowledge?

Ash not knowing pokemon can only say their own name, not knowing what contests are or whatever the gimmick for the season/game is.

People not knowing what mutants are or where to go when they find out they're a mutant.

I know shows and movies need to explain their lore and world building but can't you find a better way than creating that one moron character who asks all the basic questions and gets lectured and info dumped on. At least make them like Tarzan, raised in the jungle not knowing anything else about the world.

5. Super-let-down

When you have a team of superheroes one, if not the most, important and interesting part is their relationship and dynamic. Who's the parent of the team, who's the heart, who's the jokester? How do their superpowers mix, who needs to be careful to not hurt who, what combo moves they can pull off, how they cover each other weaknesses?

Wouldn't it be cool to see super villains do something like that? Guess what? They just argue all the time and when they fight they just get in each other's way. It's especially frustrating when they stop attacking the hero to fight each other. Even more so when the hero is egging them on by saying something along the lines ''Shouldn't you be the leader?'', ''Who's going to be the one to finish me off?'' or ''Are you going to let them treat you like that?'' It makes the villains look like complete idiots with the mentality of a kindergartner.

What a waste of a potentially great team!

Sinister six from the Spectacular Spider-Man is the closest to the satisfying villain team. Wish they had more screen time! They had great chemistry and their banter went above throwing insults at each other.

6. Too many supers in New York City

Since the MCU became big average people started to wonder, if all those superheroes exist in the same universe, then where were they when -insert huge event from a solo hero movie here- was going on.

At least DC has an excuse that pretty much every superhero has their own city to take care of.

It's especially outrages when you have the avengers, fantastic four, spider-man, and probably many others I can't remember right now leaving in the same city. What's also funny is when they meet and act as if they never heard of each other.

7. Stop with all the food!

Recently a lot of Disney movies and shows will have excessively long scenes of food making and I don't know why.

I know that movies that want to showcase some culture focus on the food too because it's part of the culture but come on. I don't want a tutorial on how to cook, put it on a DVD. Animators just want to flex how great they are at animating food, just like anime.

I know it's a weird thing to get hung up on but in a movie, every minute counts and the movie just wasted 1-5 minutes on food porn. Just put the food in the background, make it last a couple of seconds, or be part of the story.

8. Characters look never changes

I know characters always having the same clothes saves time and budget. Animators even make jokes/try to justify it by showing multiple versions of the same outfit.

It gets confusing when supposedly years have passed yet everybody looks the same. That's why I appreciate HTTYD. They let their characters grow up.

9.Did you switch bodies or voices?

I know that you want people to be able to tell who is in who’s body but vocal cords aka voice are part of the body and should stay in the body they belong to.

Change characters' posture, body language, way of speaking, etc.

But please don't change the eyes. It somehow makes even less sense and looks creepy.

10. Fight-cut-Scene

Do you ever see those fights when characters talk for a bit, throw a punch or kick, stop to talk some more, and again and again? Looking at you CW! Also, a massive amount of cutting to hide that the actors don't know how to fight and imitate speed. You know you can just show people being fast, right? Just because something or someone is out of the frame doesn't mean they stopped existing.

[ask-the-cluster]

RULES

Howdy! I'm @heroictoonz and this is the ask blog that was made with my own interests in mind lmao but hopefully other ppl will enjoy it all the same!

BLOG RULES

Please please please PLEASE send asks! This might seem like a silly rule, but I'm so serious! Send as many asks as you want! My biggest issue I've faced when having ask blogs (and I've had many lol) is when there's no asks. It really kills the blog fast. Want more content? Send in asks! Super easy lol

I am 24 and all the characters in this are 21+ obviously there's not gonna be any out right porn or whatever but I'm stating this because there might be some jokes or pg13+ material. Of course I am also okay with jokes and such in the asks but plllleeeease don't be weird I am still a human being behind all this qwq

If the blog goes dead, please don't worry. I am a grown adult with a fulltime job and fulltime stessers lol. If the blog goes dead and you notice, maybe just send an ask or something. Maybe my box is just empty or I don't have inspiration for what is in there. But whatever you do PLEASE do NOT send in asks asking why the blog stopped or is dead or whatever. Nothing to me dies for good I mean hell I still randomly update an ask blog here n there that I made like four years ago haha this kinda stuff is all for fun yk?

LORE STUFF

So, obviously this is an AU which means there's gonna be a lot of differences some I'm probably not even aware of yet lmao. But let's run over the major ones

Peter, Kurt, and Gwen all live together and are friends. This is the main plot of the au/blog and it's actually based on one I had forever ago! But it also causes a LOT of changes in the story! Admittedly, I only read the handful of comics that heavily revolve around my favorite characters and also spark my interest. I also read wiki pages like the bible but, like, how much my forgetful ass actually intakes those is debatable. Also, let's be real, there is a LOT of shit in the comics and some of that shit even contradicts itself. Also, I'm a cartoon boy. I watch soooo many cartoons. So a lot of stuff will also be based on cartoons, I wont even lie.

They are late collage students in this au cause why the hell not. Like I said, I'm a cartoon boy and in, like, every Spiderman cartoon man is a freaking high schooler and then in Evo (you know, the best XMen cartoon ever) they're also high schoolers. And then in her comics, Gwen is a young adult/older teen and implied to be in the realm of early collage age. However, in the more recent comics Kurt and Peter are also grown ass adults. So I thought it best to mix it all! Still giving them a fun class setting but as adults instead of kids!

The main three know each other’s identities. Kurt and Gwen know each other’s hero identities mostly because Gwen DID spend time in Xavier’s. Gwen herself if not just giving a shit about her secret identity when it comes to other heroes and obviously she already knows everyone’s identities. Whereas Kurt and Peter learned the truth of each other by accident. In this au I will also state that where Gwen IS a real girl in the comic world and still says that she is openly and with conviction; if someone else calls her a mutants she is less likely to correct them. Also why she ended up with Xavier and the XMen for a hot second

I am writing Kurt as an almost pseudo system. I do wanna put on the table that where I am not very open about it on social media I am a system and will be writing this based on my own personal experiences. I just wanna put down that every system has different experiences and mine are not gonna be the same as your mutual Billy Joe Bob or probably even what you read in the DSM. That being said, I say pseudo system as the exact like situation in Uncanny Spiderman isn't really explained. The bamf headmate shown in Uncanny Spiderman states that where he is not David that he is one of David's 'fractions'. Which I assume to mean that he is originally one of David's headmates that is now acting as one for Kurt. Whether this is David's intentions or a side effect of whatever the fuck David is doing I'm not sure nor am I sure if they will even continue this outside of those comics. But I like it so I'm keeping it and this is my house lol

The blog is named the way it is as a bit of a joke. Honestly there isn't much reason for me choosing these three specific characters other than the fact that they are my favorites out of Marvel! The idea of Kurt and Gwen being part of the spider gang is Kurt taking the Spiderman identity in Uncanny Spiderman and also Gwen being originally based on a 'what if' cover where they drew Gwen Stacy as Deadpool. Cluster is just the name for a group of spiders lol. Again, it's mostly just a joke/reference and not very lore important

I currently don't have a lot planned outside of the above and most will just develop as this blog does! I like going by the seat of my pants. It's fun. And also I'm pretty laid back lol. I don't really have any ships planned except for maybe for Kurt nor do I currently have any like big plot ideas or whatever. But who knows! This blog will go wherever the wind (and the asks) will take it! I think that's one of the fun parts of ask blogs so, yk, get creative with those asks! lol

[the-mad-starker]

Starker Smut: Perks and Quirks of Being Tony Stark's Bestie

Based off this ask sent by @starkeristheendgame :

Are you even friends if you don't try to out-cum each other? (Could also be out-fuck)

Ty for sending that ask! It really got me inspired and motivated to write (which hasn't happened in so long so 😭💗) I feel like this fic is a bit odd but 🤷🤷 also, if the formatting's weird, sorry 😭 Tumblr fighting me on this

Notes: College AU, same age Starker, porn watching (some straight porn then gay porn), handjob, friends with benefits? Friends to lovers? (I also like to think Oblivious Idiots in love 😅)

WC: 3674 (AO3) 💗💗💗 There are certainly perks to being Tony Stark's best friend. Peter knows it well but he's never taken advantage. It's always been Tony that pushes him into accepting things or just drags him along for the ride. It'd been that way since they met in high school and while Peter got into MIT on his own merit, he never would've been able to afford the cozy two bedroom apartment five minutes away from campus on his own.

"As if I'd let my best friend stay in the dorms," Tony had scoffed with a roll of his eyes, "You'd think you'd know better by now, Petey baby. You're stuck with me so just shut up and say yes." There are certainly perks but then there's… other stuff. Tony's been called the genius of their generation but he also has a few weird quirks that Peter's not sure anyone else would understand. Or at least there'd be a few raised eyebrows if they knew.

When Peter walks into their apartment, he expects Tony to be furiously working on something in the kitchen or living room. If he's in the kitchen, whatever he's working on would definitely not be food.When Peter walks into their apartment, he expects Tony to be furiously working on something in the kitchen or living room. If he's in the kitchen, whatever he's working on would definitely not be food. He's not in either of the rooms so Peter pads over to Tony's bedroom. The door's unlocked and Peter unsuspectingly walks in. As expected, he finds Tony there and the other boy is sitting on his bed. Given the heat, it's not surprising that he's wearing a white tank top but little else. His pants are in a crumpled mess on the floor which leaves him in just his boxers. This is where most people would jump back or run away because Tony isn't just lazing around in bed. Nope, Tony has his headphones in and he's lazily jerking off, eyes fixed on the laptop screen in front of him. Peter's attention is caught by the slow, captivating strokes his friend makes as he plays with himself. It's only natural that that's where Peter's eyes go. The way Tony touches himself is almost hypnotic. His cock is flushed pink and Peter can see that swollen tip poke out whenever the other boy strokes downwards, squeezing along the length until he reaches the base. Peter enjoys the view because Tony makes an attractive sight. Neither of them are really into sports but Tony's body is still solid with hard earned muscles. While Peter has his hyped up metabolism to thank for his lean body, Tony's probably earned his from all the hands-on work he does fixing cars and engineering. Watching Tony like this… It has to be a pavlovian response because this isn't anything new. It's actually become a habit, someone walking in on the other and casually inviting the intruder for a jerk off porn session. Once he sees what Tony's doing, his own body quickly heats up in anticipation. Peter huffs and leans against the doorway, angling his body to hide the evidence away. His arms cross over his chest and he feels his heart beating in excitement. "Do you have any decency?" Peter quips, voice pitched loud enough to get Tony's attention. "Should I come back later?" The other boy pauses and pulls off one of his headphones. Instead of being embarrassed like a normal human being, he grins at Peter. He looks happy to see him which probably isn't the normal response someone should have when their jerkoff session gets interrupted. "Hey, Peter," Tony says and gives his cock a few slow tugs while he talks. "How was class?" He lets go of his cock and gives a nice, slow stretch as though he'd been in that position for a while. It bobs in the air, slick with lube and still achingly hard. Peter sympathizes because his own cock has taken an interest and it's now straining against his pants. Peter then notices the wad of tissues in the small trash can by the bed and his nose wrinkles. "It was alright," he answers. "How many times did you do it already?" Tony follows his gaze and it's only then that he ruefully smiles at Peter. "Do it? You mean, come?" He laughs a little, "You're so weird, Peter. Can't even say come?" Peter blushes but doesn't back down. "You're the one jerking off in front of me," he retaliates. "If it's more than five, I'm leaving." "No, no, don't go," Tony protests. "It was, hmm, twice?" He

shrugs, "You can still catch up." Twice. Tony has already jerked off two times. There's no rule that they have to wait for each other to start but Peter considers saying there should be. "I have homework," Peter hedges, a clumsy excuse because when do they not have homework? Tony rolls his eyes and pats the space next to him. "All the better to get it all out of your system. C'mon, sit down already," he says in an attempt to convince Peter. "Besides, I want your opinion on this vid." Peter pretends to consider it for a second but he's never needed much convincing. It's as he thought earlier, there are certainly perks to being Tony's best friend but then there's this… thing they have going on. Peter doesn't know what to classify it because it's not like they have sex with each other and they're definitely not dating. Tony's just like this, so carefree, curious, and wild. The older boy shows no hesitation when it comes to talking about porn or sex with Peter. It might just be Peter, though, because he's never caught Tony doing it with anyone else. Maybe mildly flirting but then, that's just Tony's personality. He likes to joke around, likes to flirt, and apparently likes to watch porn with Peter. Maybe Peter's the only one that isn't weird about this, about watching porn with a friend. He kind of likes that idea, that he's the only friend Tony does this with. "Okay, fine, fine," Peter says as he unbuttons his pants. Tony smirks at him once he sees how hard he is but Peter just rolls his eyes. What does Tony expect, really? It's pointless to try to hide it now. He does, however, nearly fold his pants and sets them aside because May taught him better. He moves closer and Tony scoots over to give him space. There's ample room on the bed, Tony has a king for some reason, but since they're watching the porno on Tony's laptop, Peter remains close enough that their knees touch. "Ready?" Tony asks but he immediately tugs the plugged headphones out. The telltale sounds of an adult film immediately spills into the room. High pitched moans and the dirty wet sounds of a mouth sucking on a cock. Tony's been on an oral fixation lately. The last two videos they've watched were blowjobs. They never really watch the same video twice because that defeats the purpose of Peter being there to critique it. He settles down in his spot, his left knee and elbow brushing Tony's while his right forearm rests on his thigh. His hand barely brushes against the bulge his erection makes in his boxers. "I'll give you a head start," Tony says to which Peter shushes him. The video that Tony's picked out today has a woman on her knees. She's working on her partner's cock, stroking whatever part of it that isn't in her mouth. Drool drips down her chin and her red lipstick is smeared on her face as she sucks her partner off. It's not exactly Peter's taste but he can tell the woman is Tony's type. Curly honey brown hair cut short to her shoulders. She reminds him of a girl next door type of person, someone he could bump into on the street and never realize she does these kinds of videos. He almost startles when he feels Tony nudge the bottle of lube against his arm. "Thanks," Peter says absentmindedly as he takes it. He's watching the video and his body is slowly starting to heat up. He only knows Tony's returned to jerking off because he feels the other boy's elbow bump against him. A glance to his side confirms it but when he looks up, a shock of heat sears through his body when their eyes meet. Tony doesn't look away so Peter has to. Heat blooms across his cheeks and crawls down his neck. He's always had a hard time looking Tony in the eye while they're doing this. The other boy's gaze is just always so intense like the subject to be investigated isn't the video but Peter. It's a silly thought though. "She's not as loud as the last one," Peter says to offset the awkwardness. His voice is calm and collected but inside, he's shivering from the memory of Tony's eyes on him. Peter squeezes his cock through his boxers. He's already so

hard that just touching himself like this has him trembling in pleasure. Without looking at his friend, he takes himself out. "Yeah," Tony agrees. He already sounds breathless and Peter dares to take a peek at him again. "It was a little distracting last time, all that moaning sounded really fake so I thought this might be better." Fortunately or unfortunately, Tony isn't looking at him this time. He's back to watching the screen, his hand curled around his erection and giving it the same slow teasing strokes as before. Maybe he's pacing himself since Peter still has to catch up. Peter hums in agreement and forces his eyes back to the video. It doesn't really keep his attention though and his mind wanders, eyes glazing over as he focuses more on the sounds filling the room. His mind seems more in tune with what's happening around him though and he zeros in on the sound of Tony's breathing as it turns into soft panting. His own breathing escalates to match his friend's and Peter jerks himself off to the sound of Tony's breathless panting, to the wet sound of flesh sliding against flesh next to him. He lets out a moan himself. It feels good to touch himself after a long day of classes and with Tony next to him, it feels even better. A sharp inhale next to him has Peter's back straightening as he looks at Tony who's biting down on his lip while watching the screen. Tony's eyes flicker to him and his white teeth press down on his bottom lip. "You better not come," Peter grits out even as he's holding back from releasing. "You– ah– You said you'd let me catch up." "Yeah, I won't," Tony grunts, "don't take too long though, I've been holding back for a while now." "Literally no one told you to," Peter says. His voice has lowered into a strained, breathy murmur. "I'm almost there so just– just wait, okay? You're distracting me." Tony rolls his eyes but ends up chuckling breathlessly. He stops stroking but starts massaging his balls. He lets out a moan as soon as he starts and that has Peter squeezing his eyes shut, his hips stuttering as he fucks his cock into his fist. His heart is going crazy and he stops fighting it. He spills right there, his load coming out hard and fast. It ends up getting over his stomach and he milks it out, squeezing the tip of the last few drops. When Peter finally finished, his nose wrinkles at the mess. "Should've taken your shirt off," Tony says, voice strained. Peter shoots him a friendly glare which softens when he finds that his friend is still holding back. Tony's face is flushed, his eyes bright with desperation. And yet, he hasn't come even when it's obvious he's ready to pop off. On the screen, the video is still playing but Tony grimaces. "Let's switch it up," he says while absentmindedly fondling his balls. "Sure." Tony leans forward a bit and uses the touchpad on his laptop to search around. Peter's trying his hardest not to stare at the other boy's erection. It doesn't soften in the least and Peter just wants to reach out and touch it. He wants to feel the warmth of Tony's skin, wants to hear what kind of noises Tony will make if he dares to do it. To touch Tony… "Okay, this'll be a little different," Tony says when he leans back into position. "But I don't think you'll mind. Tell me if you do and I'll find something else." A new video starts and Peter glances at it without much interest. Then he almost does a double take when he sees it's two men on the screen. Tony's never put in a gay porno before, he couldn't have chosen one now… Could he? "A threesome?" Peter says curiously. His heart is pounding and then it goes into overdrive when the two men start making out. "I can look for one next time if you want?" Tony offers. When Peter looks at him, the other boy has a lazy smirk. He's not bothered at all by the two men kissing on screen and Peter swallows down the spit in his mouth. "No, this is… this is good. It's fine," Peter says. He tears his eyes away and returns to the video. "You're hard again," Tony comments nonchalantly. Peter looks down and yeah…

Yeah, he's hard. He's watching a gay porno with his friend. Tony either picked up that this is more to Peter's preference or… Or this is Tony's preference, too. Either option makes Peter want to run away or hide under a blanket. He does neither because he's not going to make this weird. "You have good taste," Peter says, "They're both really hot." Tony chuckles beside him. "Damn right, I do." They both fall silent and they're both more engrossed in this film. Peter actually takes the time to invest in what's going on. Both men are attractive and hot as hell. They don't waste any time stripping each other off and the expanse of newly exposed skin has Peter squeezing his cock. Despite this, he can't help glancing at Tony. He can't help wondering. Their eyes keep meeting and this time, Peter doesn't look away. Neither does Tony. He greedily takes everything in, admiring the way Tony's hair, previously slicked back, is falling into his eyes. Tony's mouth is also slightly parted and a quick pink tongue flicks out to wet dry lips. Peter wants to bite at them. Something changes between them at this moment. They're watching both the film and each other. For Peter, his attention is clearly on Tony and it's Tony that's making his cock hard. But even if it feels like something's changed, Peter still toes the line of their friendship. "Are you getting close again?" Tony pants. He's struggling not to come. Peter can tell by how he's gently tugging on his balls in an attempt to hold off. Peter bites down on his lip cause he's not quite there yet but he wants to so badly. He wants to come with Tony watching him but he just can't seem to do it. "I don't think I can," Peter groans. "Ugh, Tony, I'm getting tired…" Something in his expression must give his frustration away because Tony shuffles closer which makes Peter's heart go berserk. Not only does Tony come closer but he moves behind Peter. His legs stretch out, bracketing Peter's body. Suddenly, Tony's so much closer. Too close for comfort because Peter had just said he couldn't come but like this, it'd be so easy. It fuels all sorts of dirty imaginations that he shouldn't be having about his friend but... "I got an idea," Tony says, pressed so close against Peter's back. Surely, he can feel Peter's heart thumping like crazy? "What do you– Oh…!" Peter's entire body would've basically jumped in the air if it isn't for Tony's arms around him. "It's not fun if I win all the time, so we should at least end this in a tie, right, Pete?" Tony says. "Lemme help, okay?" Peter's wide-eyed and his hips buck uncontrollably when Tony's hand settles over his own. There's no mistaking what Tony wants to do. He shudders when Tony grips his cock. Those sturdy fingers that Peter often admires press down on him causing him to tighten his grip on his cock. Tony's touching him… Tony's touching his cock. Tony wants to help jerk him off. Peter might just come right then and there. "Tony– You're… touching me…" The words come out as an embarrassing squeak but Peter can scarcely believe it. "Mhmm…" Tony murmurs, amusement in that one single hum. Peter had just started the obvious so of course, he'd be amused. In any other circumstances, maybe Peter would be too. Instead, he feels like he's dreaming. He's looking down at his body, specifically between his legs where Tony's tanned hand is curled around his. "C'mon, Pete, either move your hand or I'll move it for you," Tony says right into his ear. That gets Peter moving and he starts stroking again, clumsy with the added weight of another hand. It shouldn't feel good because their hands are bumping and Tony being pressed against him is making him so… so flustered. But it does feel good. it feels so good that Peter's fighting tooth and nail not to come right away. He doesn't want this to end yet. Eventually, Tony does take over. When he pulls Peter's hand off by the wrist, Peter just shudders and lets him. His hand falls to the side and he grabs the bed sheets just to have some sort of anchor. He squeaks when Tony adds more

lube. "Sorry. Here, I'll make you feel good…" Tony promises him and he keeps true to his word. He practices those smooth steady strokes on Peter's cock and Peter recognizes the motion. It turns him on so much, he's clenching his teeth to hold back all those embarrassing moans that want to escape. "Tony…" Peter gasps. "I-It feels..." "Too slow? Too soft?" Tony chuckles. "I got you, Pete. Relax and lemme take care of it." Peter squeezes his eyes shut as Tony increases his pace. His grip tightens a little but it's enough to have Peter gasping out his name again. It's exactly what Peter needs and he whimpers, hips twitching toward the delicious friction Tony's hand provides. His ears burn from the wet sounds Tony's hand makes while he's jerking him off, all those embarrassing squelches and not to mention the feeling… Tony's grilling him just right, giving him a warm, wet hole to thrust his cock into… How can something so simple as another person touching him feel so much better than his own hand? His hips continue to move, thrusting into his friend's tight grip. He's so aware of every point of contact between their bodies. "Isn't this weird?" Peter starts to babble, "The porn was one thing but Tony– You're touching my– Isn't this too much?" "Is it? I'm just trying to get you caught up," Tony says as though it's entirely reasonable. Then he chuckles and Peter shivers at the warmth of his breath fanning across his nape, "Are you even friends if you don't try to out-come each other?" It's so ridiculous that it makes Peter huff out a laugh even while his cock is now a leaking mess in Tony's fist. "You're ridiculous–" he gasps. "And you're about to cum," Tony says. Peter can hear the triumph in his voice. It's the last thought he has before Tony's hand squeezes him just right. He's coming before he even realizes it and the outpouring of pleasure has him arching his back, gasping and shuddering in ecstasy. Tony's arms keep him grounded, pressed as he is against the front of his friend's body. "Oh, fuck, yeah," Tony breathes. His head hangs between his shoulders and it's in the perfect position to see how his load comes spilling out of his cockhead, all messy and being milked out by his friend in gentle squeezes. He feels something hot and hard poke against his back. Oh, yeah… Tony still hasn't come. Despite having his orgasm milked out of him, Peter's body is still hot. Actually, it's even worse now because Tony's arms are still around him. Tony's face is still buried against his neck, his breath adding fuel to the heat inside him with every puff of warm air against his sensitive skin. The video has long since ended and Tony doesn't seem to care about putting another one on. It's just them now with no excuse for what they're doing. Peter leans back and he can feel Tony's cock rub against him, so hot and demanding. Tony grumbles when Peter pulls away but he doesn't get the chance to complain. Peter shoves him so he's lying flat on his back, those familiar brown eyes wide with surprise and arousal. "Since we're trying new things," Peter says, breathless and barely containing the urge to straddle Tony's hips. "Mind if I try something?" Tony's hands curl into loose fists before they relax and he gives Peter a look that he's never seen before. Bedroom eyes… Now Peter understands what those words mean. By the curve of his smart mouth and the dark, hungry look in his eyes, he's inviting Peter to do whatever he wants with him. "I'm always up for new things," he says then smirks, "Quite literally this time." The amused look on Tony's face quickly fades when Peter settles between his legs. He leans down, takes a hold of the other boy's cock by the base to steady it. It twitches in his hand and Tony's eyes are fixated on Peter's lips hovering over his tip. Peter loves the way Tony's watching him. "I don't mind if you win this time, Tones," he says, "so don't hold back, okay?" With that said, he closes the distance and takes Tony's cock into his mouth.

[chocolate-parfait]

Gen Z MC - ikevamp headcanons (general)

Following that obey me post I reblogged about a gen z mc, and seeing how I already thought about this a couple times, I decided to write this! Enjoy~

ALSO,, sorry for disappearing for two days, I didn't really have any ideas nor motivation to write,,

When the vampires see a teenager coming out of the door, they kinda think "oh shit". An adult is something, but a teenager? It's a big responsibility

Gen Zers are very independent and autonomous so you often tell them not to pamper you nor treat you like a child, you know what you're doing and you can handle your responsibilities

You work hard and you're humble, often saying self deprecating or suicidal jokes, making everyone look at you like 👁👄👁are u ok, but you tell them it's normal and not to pay you any mind

Some of them will just get worried at how much self deprecating humor you use but you just keep using it to confuse them even more lmaoo

You particularly get along with Vincent for his good vibes and his dedication to art. You really love staying there with him and watch him paint, often asking him questions about his technique and stuff

You compare him to Bob Ross and start rambling about him to Vincent, who on the other hand thinks must be a very good man

Mozart would be the second member of the mansion you spend most time with if it wasn't for the fact that he likes being alone and your presence disturbs his work more often than not

Despite this you offer to sing/show him some songs from your time so that he could play them for you and find some inspiration. It's a win-win situation for both, especially since your phone died after 3 days of your stay

This brings you extreme pain. We all know how phones and electronics are a dependance to most of us, but you ask Leonardo and Isaac to help you create a charger and a socket to charge your phone (you'd still be without internet but you could at least show them photos of the 21st century)

You admire Napoleon a lot. He started a mfing revolution for civil rights! How cool is that? Also, rebellion and equality run in your veins, and you find yourself telling him all about the protests in your time

You tell him about suffragettes, stonewall riots, the blm protests, etc. listing all the reasons why they started, how they ended and what they achieved

Napoleon listens carefully, relieved and proud about the fact that there are so many people still fighting for they rights and to achieve freedom

Seeing the fire in your eyes as you talk about it reminds him of his younger self, a feeling of nostalgia accompanying him for as long as you stay and making him act kind of like an older brother

Your strong sense of justice and your fiery personality, make you very "responsive" to Shakespeare's schemes. He wants to start some weird shit? You will flip him over and kick his ass while giving him a 45 lessons long course about ethics. He won't be doing any toxic shit on your watch!

You and arthur communicate through vines. You taught him all the vines you knew and you're extremely proud of this. On the other hand, Arthur is very happy to have another way to confuse and make fun of the other residents

PLEASE make him say "why does somebody not know how to flush the toilet aftah they've had a SHET? DISGUSTANG"

When comte tells you "keep your head high, as all women should" you basically yell "aLL WOMEN ARE QUEENS" and hug him while sobbing, confusing the old man

The amount of chaos you bring into that house eye-

No one is able to get a hold of you and you have a sassy comeback for every joke is thrown your way

Whenever Theo refers to you using a dog analogy you just tell him "someone here is pretty kinky huh? Good job theo, implying these kind of things in front of a child like me~". This statement has both Arthur and Vincent holding Theo back before he does anything out of shame and anger lmao

You aren't the sweet and innocent angel you seem to be, and everyone realizes this pretty soon

Jean almost passes out after he hears you say with all the confidence in the world that God doesn't exist and you definitely wouldn't fear him even if he was up there. The amount of sacrilege things you say hurt his soul

But something that doesn't go unnoticed is that you respect everyone's opinions and ideas even if they are different from your own (unless they go against equality and human rights, in that case you're more than ready to throw hands)

Anyways, random fights and general chaos aside, you also bring a lot of positivity in the house. Everyone's quirks, diversity and positive sides are respected, enhanced and appreciated by you. Everyone's faults are accepted and you help them become the better version of themselves.

Your flexibility, awareness and knowledge on subjects like depression and mental illnesses make you the official therapist for these very sad vampires

The fact you're also very perceptive and don't step any of the residents' boundaries makes you even a better presence! You can kind of figure out what's going on in their minds without making them uncomfortable

When you go back to your time everyone can feel the void you left behind. Days pass by without your laughter echoing through the hallways. Your genuine interest towards everyone's problems now replaced with the hard and cold truth: you weren't there anymore.

But who knows, if they waited long enough, they might meet you again when fate decided to reunite you all

[haiky-u-lously]

King Kuroo and the Red Knights (13)

Summary: A Camelot AU where King Arthur is Kuroo Tetsuro, and the Knights of the Roundtable of characters from seasons 1-4 of the HQ anime. Eventual Kuroo X Reader.

Themes: Fluff, Angst, Humor, Eventual Romance

Warnings: Mentions of stalking and abuse of power, Language, Angst in feelings, Eventual gore and fighting

Word Count: For Chapter: ~4000words

Questions/Comments/Concerns/Ideas welcome as always. Enjoy! –Admin Red

Chapter 13: Round 1C

“Do you have many tournaments in your home?” The King questioned you as he took his seat while the arena was cleared of the fallen trash from the stands surrounding it.

Shaking your head in the negative, you also moved to take a seat.

“Generally we hold them in celebrations, or as contests for some big prize.” He said, smiling while you presumed he reminisced about past memories. “When my father got sick and I had more responsibilities placed on me, I ended up planning almost one a month to give me a reason to expel some of my stress. The men, they just went right along with my whims.” His eyes took a fond look over them as he paused in his spiel, “But the month he died, I didn’t feel like doing much of anything. It took much effort on all of their parts to get me to do regular duties, let alone plan and prepare tournaments. Yuurei too had more burdens to bear from my lack of control over my own state. She had to do a lot more that one month than any Queen in Camelot’s history.” Kuroo shook his head, before bringing a small smile back to his face. “Sorry about that, kind of went off there for a bit didn’t I?” He seemed to try and laugh away the serious atmosphere he’d created, but you knew there was more in his head.

Unfortunately, now wasn’t the time to press him further, but let him get away with shaking off his own concerns.

He faced you with a wide grin, “So, is Sugawara a good fighter?”

You nodded, thinking to yourself about memories past. Your cousin was one of the youngest men to be granted the title of Red Knight. He was exceptional when it came to forming strategies, and using things and those around him to win battles. His fighting skill, while not being the top of the order, was nothing to laugh at.

“Have you fought him yourself?” Kuroo asked you, and you thought you heard a teasing tone in his questioning, but you just smiled to yourself before nodding. “Interesting, interesting. I’d ask deeper questions,” He laughed and then added, “But I know you won’t answer out loud, so I won’t press the matters. But, just know I do want to ask more than simple yes and no questions.”

Nodding once more, you accepted the King’s explanation for what it was, as just a way for him to express himself.

“Hey, hey hey!” Bokuto called from behind your sitting pair, approaching the side of Kuroo’s chair happily, “Did you see my win? Pretty great, wasn’t it!” He shouted, excitedly pumping his fists in the air before taking what had been Suga’s seat. “Sorry I missed your fight, Red Knight. But, now we get to face one another, that’ll be great!” He smiled to you, leaning far forward to see you around the other side of the King’s sitting form.

Bobbing your head in response, you grinned behind your mask. This knight in particular was overly excitable, and that was something you could use as a tactic in your fight against him.

Your vision was caught by movement from the tunnels into the heart of the stadium. Two knights walked in, side-by-side from either entrance. By the lack of marks on his borrowed uniform, you could tell which was your cousin, and noted that he walked in next to a knight marked in dark teal. By the way the two seemed to interact, you pieced together that he was entering the field with Futakuchi. Which meant the pair of knights entering the arena opposite were Semi and Yamagata, both marked with purple boxes. They were distinguished by one box having a vertical white stripe on the left half and the other bearing a horizontal white stripe on the top half.

Though in the moment it was hard to tell which knight was which, you knew you’d find out as soon as they split up for their fight.

Seeing Suga being friendly with the magician of Camelot made you happy that you’d switched places with him, and though not for the first time that you found more pleasure in it than just as a selfish reason.

You watched as the two men high-hived before your friend continued forward to his side of the makeshift battlefield. And despite yourself, you wondered what they’d been discussing.

Shaking your head to rid yourself the thoughts swirling in your mind, and ultimately deciding that you should trust Suga’s words that he’d win his fight and that you should watch Futakuchi’s.

Before Kuroo could begin the bout, you were finally able to distinguish between the two knights marked in purple and white. The horizontal striped one apparently was Yamagata as he stood with Suga, while the vertical striped one still approached Futakuchi’s side.

____________________________

Suga spun your blades against his palms, flashing the pristine shine against the sunlight to catch his opponent’s eyes. The pause in his spinning wrist, told the makeshift squire that he’d achieved the desired effect.

“These blades belong to the royal family of the Order. Passed down from generations since they are made from what is now an extinct substance.” He smiled behind the chainmail sticking out from under his borrowed helmet.

The giant metal ball hanging from the chain of Yamagata’s flail swung back and forth with the after force from the swing coming to a succinct halt.

“Are those really an alexandrite and painite pair of blades?” While unable to see the knight’s face, the heavy tone of shock and awe in his voice told the visiting fighter that the knight in front of him was primed for their battle.

When the King of Camelot shouted for the bout to begin, Suga took the brief time of his opponent's confusion to lung forward. 

He elbowed Yamagata in his vambrace, knocking the fighter’s shield out of the way, and let the flail wrap itself around the alexandrite stiletto. However, to his surprise, pulling back on the blade didn’t pull the weapon from Semi’s hand. 

The knight of Camelot must have regained his focus as he gritted his teeth, tightened his hold on his weapon of choice and twisted his shield wielding arm around to Suga’s breast plate and pushed him away.

Suga managed to untwist his blade from Yamagata’s flail before being shoved back, but had to quickly adjust to defending as his opponent went on the attack.

Spinning, the ball of metal kept Suga’s focus and he was forced to think solely on defense instead of how to attack. It was definitely a well practiced tactic, and in his mind, the silver-haired fighter applauded his counterpart. Unfortunately, he couldn’t break his word to the Princess of his home, he couldn’t break his promise to his cousin, his best friend. He had to find a way to counter the attack, not only defend.

Busy with his thoughts, the unmarked knight lost his footing and fell back against the hard ground.

Yamagata took note and moved fast as his flail flung over his shoulder , into the air and began rushing towards the cuirass protecting Suga’s upper chest. In the brief time that the resistance of the air between them gave him, your friend rolled to his side and the metal round hit the near solid earth. 

Without really thinking, Sugawara rolled back to his original fell position--trapping his opponent’s weapon between the earth and the rear of his pauldron. The purple marked knight struggled as the chain attached to his wooden stick resisted his pull. Behind his helmet, his face contorted as he tried to manipulate the angle of the pull as the unmarked knight furthered the trap by squeezing his arm against his side, keeping the chain locked and the ball stuck where it fell.

Suga took the moment to try and think of an attack strategy. He realized that his opposite had at some point let go of his shield, and that he was using both hands in an attempt to tear back his weapon. Blinking slowly, he recalled a move he’d seen you do against some of the others back when you were still allowed to train and not sneaking behind the King’s orders to do so.

______________________

“(Y/N)!” he’d yelled out as he helplessly watched your body be flung into the ground. Your opponent was much larger than most of the knights in training. He knew the King had the instructors set this line-up to try and convince you to make the decision yourself to withdraw from this line of work.

You had barely caught your breath before the towering, older trainee hovered above you. Your lying form pulled up by the collar of your shirts, you were swinging at the forearm of your current sparring partner. A tight frown took over your features and your cousin watched as the man sneered at you, “Stupid royals, thinking you’re such tough pits. This ought to teach you why those idiots died so easily.” 

He pulled back his dominant arm, preparing a full fledged power punch. And Suga saw as you half attitude-half fearful demeanor turned into pure rage. Your eye color flashed between a myriad of hues before settling on your natural shade, your lower half swung through the air, trapping your opponent’s arm and neck between your thighs right before you started to squeeze. The fighter’s shoulder blade must have been pressured against his airways as his face began to darken and everyone watching saw as his group loosened on your clothes. Your legs tighten their hold further as you cross your ankles and swing the lower half of your body to replicate a handstand before continuing the flip. Forcing the opposer to his backside and screaming through clenched teeth until he passed out and the adults in charge rushed to try and pry you off the other trainee.

________________________

The memories of other times you’d accomplished similar feets rushed through his mind and Suga’s mind locked onto one path to victory.

His legs spun over Yamagata’s head, his upper body keeping the flail trapped in its place as he brought his opponent face first into the dirt beneath him. His legs hooked under the dark haired knight’s arms as he practically sat on his backside. 

With the weapon no longer in anyone’s hands, it fell limp between Suga’s arm and side. Grabbing it with three fingers while holding the painite sai with the other two, he flung it across the field and out of reach.

Yamagata’s head sat on its side, as he huffed in anger about how easily he’d been caught and disarmed. He knew he shouldn’t have changed weapons with Satori, but his friend just had to match Terushima for his fight. Guiding his breath back to a normal pace, the dark haired fighted thought about what his next play could be. Knowing his opponent helf two blades, even small ones like a sai and stiletto, was a troubling factor as he had nothing left but his armour. If he could only get the flail back...bucking his hips, he caused Suga to slightly waver in his solid position, Yamagata dropped to a lying flat position before lifting his upper body up by his arms and sliding Suga so far down his backside he could pull his legs up to his chest and bounce to a standing position. Spinning as soon as he did to face the visiting fighter for hand to hand combat.

Suga saw the stance and thought how he wished to proceed, to showcase your blades or disarm himself to fight with his body alone. 

“COME ON THEN!” He heard Camelot’s King shouting, and a quick glance over his shoulder allowed him to see that King Kuroo was watching his fight with a look of pure joy across his features. While he couldn’t see your face, your body language told him you weren’t even watching his battle. Taking this to mean you expected a proper outcome from him, he held the painite sai such that all three tips stuck between the fingers of his gloves. The stiletto held by his fist.

Yamagate rushed Suga’s form, your cousin slightly jumping as the Camelot knight went low for a better hold of his missed target. Swimming the stiletto back, the tip rested against the chainmail beneath the purple marked knight’s helmet.

“Yield.” Suga warned, putting enough force into the blade that it could not be further ignored.

To his favor, the dark haired knight could sense the bloodlust in that single word. His fist slammed into the ground in anger as he realized he was out of options. Mentally he tallied that it's two losses for his team within the knights, making half of them out of the tournament. He felt like he’d let everyone down by becoming the fiftieth percent.

The unmarked knight pulled back the alexandrite stiletto enough for Yamagata to rest back on his greaves. 

“Good fight Sugawara,” He commented, taking his helmet off before resting his hands on his knees, leveling out his breath before trying to move.

Taking off his own head protector, your friend smiled down at the man he’d just faced. “You as well Hayato, but I’m guessing you don’t regularly use a flail as your main weapon.” He laughed out at the face flung towards his sneer of a comment. “Gotta admit, had I not accidentally trapped it beneath my shoulder, not sure I would have figured out a quick way out.”

“Don’t try sugar-coating it, it's not helpful having the person who’d just made a complete fool of you tell you it was just luck.” The brown haired knight scowled, looking at his tightly held fists in annoyance.

Suga scoffed before taking a seat next to him, “Every fight has a shred of luck in it, and despite the attitude I believe you know that to be true. It's not that I won solely because of luck, it was that luck allowed me the slight chance to utilize skills I’ve developed through training and hard work. Just as past battles have allowed you. I am sorry if you feel I was...what did she always call it...badgering you about your loss, truly.”

Yamagata looked at him fully, recognizing the honesty and sincerity in his voice. “Badgering, huh? Guess that is as good a way to say you were picking on me as any. Can’t say I’ve heard it before. Who exactly said it always?” Half joking, half really wondering, Hayato pushed his thought forward, “Your princess cousin?”

“Yes.” Suga answered bluntly, spinning the stiletto against his open palm and watching the light alexandrite blade sparkle in the sun’s rays.

“Oh.” Was all he could respond with before glancing away from the man beside him. Thinking it must be hard to be away from someone you were so close with, without knowing when you’d see them again. 

The pair stood at the same time, shook hands and then walked off the field.

_________________________

“Are you not watching your friend fight?” The King sat beside you had asked at the very beginning.

Shaking your head in the negative, you fully turned your body away from the pair in question facing the King’s magician.

“Ouch, guess he must have upset you in some manner. Well, as he is the only one to speak with you I am sure you’ll have to talk to him soon enough. But if you ever need an escape I am sure any of the knights would be willing to tour you around the main city.”

Smiling to yourself at his kindness, you considered using your powers to send him your thoughts as you did with Suga. However, you thought better of it before taking action. It had only been a week, these people couldn’t even tell what your cousin could do, let alone yourself. If you shared too much too soon, it could spell disastrous. Closing your eyes and taking a deep breath you focused on watching the match before you.

__________________________

It seemed odd that Futakuchi held a two pronged weapon to you. One end matching Aone’s mace while the other looked to be a bill. The hook coming off the sharp tip protruding in a way that made you tilt your head in wonder of what his power play would be.

The attendant held the weapon with both hands, either end facing the sides rather than forward towards his opponent.

Semi however stood in front of the magician, head free from the protection offered by a helmet, nor chainmail set against his cranium hiding his hair. The dark-gray strands cadging his face in a light that reminded you of Suga whenever he scowled at you as teens. Attached to his back was the sheath for a machete, which he seemed to be reaching for as he seemingly moved in slow motion. You noted a couple other sheaths attached to his armour with other weapons ready to be drawn.

In an instant, you nearly missed as his hand wrapped around the handle of his main blade and he flung it straight at Futakuchi before it was completely pulled from its carrying place. The opponent also barely catching on to the fighter’s plan as his magic, or a very dulled down version of it in any case stopped the thick piece from hitting his own protective headgear right between the eye slits.

Before you could blink, Semi was in front of Futakuchi’s barely balanced form with a tanto fisted with the thumb on the flat rear. The sharp tip of the blade striking from its hold against the magician as he tried to put space between his attacker and self to utilize his own choice weapon. 

He must have determined the big thing as obstructive as his grip loosened enough to pull Semi’s attention slightly, allowing the attendant a split brief in which he pulled a miniature dagger from seemingly nowhere. Pushing it against the tanto and forcing both weapons a safe distance away from the weaker points of his armour.

Semi smiled, as his arm swung back to its original position from a lower angle then how it was ushered away. The magician sneering to himself behind his helmet as he realized Semi had been practicing for such an occasion to face him.

“You can’t beat me every time, Futa.” He whispered into the side of his opponent’s obstructed face. “I’m a knight of Camelot, and as respected and appreciated as you are, to the people you are still meant to be a servant.”

The call from Kuroo towards the fight on the other side of the arena caused you a slip in focus and you weren’t sure how but suddenly Futakuchi was without his large weapon, barely fending off from Semi’s swings of his tanto and a dirk that had made an appearance.

The men battled it out and you were sure that Futakuchi was only using his powers to make a protective layer of energy around himself so as to not feel the brunt of force from the swings connecting with his armour. It stood to reason with his power hold that he should be defeating the knight without issue, and you wondered to yourself if he held similar standards as your troupe. If he did not want to utilize his powers if unnecessary or if he was more inclined to follow your own beliefs. It was a toss up as either would have fit the bill of not using powers against a friend in a mock-battle or training match, but it left a lot of room for questions as well.

Dooking it out some more, you felt a draw to look over at Suga, turning your head, you saw him jump aside from Yamagata’s rush and figured it was your imagination playing tricks on you. Focusing back on the pair you were determined to watch, you saw a glint of gold flash from behind Futakuchi’s helmet. Semi’s tanto swinging arm stopped midair, Futakuchi ducked beneath it and rushed to get behind his opponent before releasing the appendage and letting the swing complete its path.

Unfortunately, the short lived victory was...short lived. The gray-haired knight spun a one-eighty and right-hooked Futakuchi’s chin into the air. Knocking his helmet off and sending it flying as well as forcing the magician to shoot enough inches into the air that his own body flung back.

Thumbing his chin, still practically lying on the ground, the attendant grumbled to the knight, “Nutting toff! I give, happy?”

Smiling down at the brown haired man, Semi smiled with a killer grin, “Seeing me win does indeed make me happy.” He winked at Camelot’s magician, and you heard as many of the girls in the stands screamed at his apparent beauty. 

Holding a hand out to help him up, the knight relinquished whatever pride he’d been fighting with. Taking it, Futakuchi showed he held no malice towards his counter. The two made way to pick up their discarded weapons and left the battlefield without another word spoken in front of any prying eyes.

“Good fight?” The King asked you, seeing as both battles were now finished.

Nodding your head, you thought about what could have been the reason behind such an easy defeat on the magician’s part. Recalling that he was pressed to beat the men, and that many thought Camelot’s magician would face your own in Suga. Now with that not as an option, you couldn’t help but question yourself as to why.

“Can I overshare again?” Kuroo seemed hesitant to ask. Nodding simply, you turned to face him, giving the King the full attention he seemed to desire at the moment. “I can’t remember the last time I fought with someone sitting in this box. Yuurei always seems to be caught up or sick or not around, Daishou either is fighting or not around. The knights never feel like they can be here long--even Bokuto does as before where he drops in, says his piece and leaves without saying a word. I’ve always felt like if I am here, everyone can feel me watching them and they can get a sense of strength from that, but whenever I really think about how this box is empty when I fight...it’s not a good feeling to say the least.” 

You caught yourself from pitying him, he was a King, and while yes he was currently spilling a deep thought of his to you, you knew it was more because you wouldn’t be able to tell anyone more so than him wanting to actually talk to you. This was something he as a person needed to get off his chest so that he could continue being the royal his people needed, and being a royal yourself you understood that better than anyone else.So, you would let him get it out.

“I like the tournaments despite that though, because it brings such joy to the citizens and the men. I’d go through it every day if it could help even one more person. And I’m sure you’d agree to that sentiment since you seem to have such a strong sense of justice.”

Wait, what? His comment caught you off guard.

“It’s not so much as I think we are kindred spirits, but I am pretty sure you are the offspring of the Order’s King as your friend stated that first night. And, should that case be truth, I feel you would understand where I am coming from.” He smiled at you directly, and it took more willpower than you would ever admit to not move under the blinding features. “Thanks again for participating in the tourney, and for the heavy assist last week during the raid on the castle. From one royal to another, I truly appreciate having been able to meet your acquaintance.”

With his comments apparent to be done, the King strode out of the viewing box without another word.

You sat back, dumbstruck and frozen in the time it took Suga to return and lose his mind at your unresponsiveness. Staying mostly ignorant of your surroundings until Futakuchi came into the large stall and said something you didn’t really catch. 

_______________________________________________

Author’s message: So, anyone shocked? No? Hmmm... Guess I’ll have to try harder on ROUND 1D.

_______________________________________________ Table of contents:

Chapter 12                                                  Chapter 14

[ducktracy]

Also, have you ever seen Cartoon Network’s Toonheads? It was an educational animation trivia show that would run a short and provide information about it throughout, such as info about the animators and their techniques, context for cultural gags, and things that make the short unique. It’s a big reason I really appreciated good animation as a kid.

I’m a bit older than you and I mostly saw it when I was little, so it was probably a bit before your time, but it apparently ran in reruns until 2005. Most episodes are unfortunately considered lost media now, but it was one of my favorite shows as a kid, and it really taught me a lot about animation as an art. It’s why I can identify a short’s director just by the animation style even though I can barely draw a straight line!

(Also sorry for all the asks, you’re just really knowledgeable and interesting and I don’t know a lot of artists who share your passion for classic animation!)

NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE!! i love getting asks and talking to people, i’m so  flattered you think that!

i HAVE seen a little bit of toonheads, not much though! i stumbled upon it last year in may, i found out that the bob clampett show was a thing (which has a HILARIOUS intro that made me split my sides more than what was necessary) and somehow i stumbled upon toonheads through that.

 i really gotta dig for more episodes now that i think about it! DEFINITELY a cool way to introduce a whole generation to a fantastic era of cartoons--i’m playing the world’s biggest game of catch-up as an adult with all of my animation knowledge now, but i would have LOVED this as a kid had they reran it just a liiiittle longer! (though maybe i was too busy watching nickelodeon too..)

i’d love for the lost episodes to be found some day! a toonheads DVD or something along those lines would be just the best thing ever!

[duhragonball]

So, Terminator 3.   T2 was such a huge hit that everyone just assumed a third movie was a given, but it took twelve years for it to finally happen.    The Wikipedia article has a section about the delay, but it’s really long and complicated, and I’m not that interested anymore.   The main takeaway is that James Cameron, who directed the first two movies, wasn’t involved in the making of T3.   Apparently, he really wanted to do it in 1995, but by the time the rights and everything got squared away, he got busy doing Titanic and Avatar or whatever else, and he decided that he’d already told the story he wanted to tell in the first two movies.   But he did tell Arnold Schwarzenegger to go for it if he got an offer.  

I guess the reason I’m explaining all of this was because I always thought Cameron did make T3, and the reason Linda Hamilton wasn’t in it was because of hard feelings over their divorce in 1999.  Which sounds kind of dumb now that I type it out.    A fan would think that, because they see actors appearing or not appearing in movies as the ultimate sanction, but for them it’s strictly business.   Arnold was in T3 because they paid him $30 million, not because he desperately wanted to play the character again.   According to the Wikipedia article, Hamilton wasn’t in the movie because there just wasn’t much they could do with Sarah Connor in the story.    Her role was to prepare John Connor for his own role.   This movie features him as an adult, so there’s nothing more for her to do.    Hamilton recognized this, and declined to participate.

I think T3 had a lot going against it, because it had so much to live up to, and fans of T2 had been waiting so long.   I think everyone wanted the T3 movie James Cameron might have made in 1995, but what they got in 2003 was this movie, which didn’t quite live up to the hype.   I’m not sure anything else could have lived up to the hype, though.    T2 had some mighty big shoes to fill.  

The big problem is that it’s basically the same plot structure as T2.  Two more Terminators come from the future and they fight over the life of John Connor.   After escaping the bad Terminator, John tries to stop Skynet from taking over and nuking humanity, and they end up having a final showdown with the bad Terminator along the way.  It really is the same movie in a lot of ways, so it just begs to be compared to T2, which only magnifies its flaws.  

The main difference is that John thought he already stopped Skynet years ago, so he’s horrified to learn that he only postponed the inevitable.    He goes to a lot of trouble to try again, but the audience probably already anticipates that this won’t work.  T2 was ambiguous about this, but T3 actually shows the nuclear missiles launching and destroying their targets.   So it’s kind of a downer to watch.   We even learn that Future John will die in 2032, because the good Terminator in this movie was the one who kills him, before he got reprogrammed to protect Present John.

The other difference is the addition of Kate Brewster, who’s fated to become John’s second-in-command and wife.   The bad Terminator was actually sent to kill her and other would-be Resistance leaders, until it discovers John and changes priorities.    Future Kate is also the one who sends the good Terminator back in time.   I never fully understood Kate’s purpose in the movie, since she’s basically a spare John, but I think they needed a viewpoint character.    In T1, Sarah was the viewpoint character, then it was John in T2.   But in T3, Sarah’s dead and John already knows all about this stuff, so there needed to be a new character with a special destiny.   The trouble is that I don’t think Kate gets a chance to digest this very well, probably because we’ve already covered this twice before already.  

I think this is the movie where the time travel stuff really went off the rails.  T1 was very consistent about establishing a predestination paradox.   T2 hinted that the future could be changed, but never made it clear whether it actually changed or not.   The value was in the attempt, not the result.   But the T-850 tells John that “Judgement Day is inevitable”, and that he only postponed it from its original date in 1997.  So they managed to change the future, just not enough.   Fair, but how does the T-850 know this?   Shouldn’t he be from the same altered future, where Judgement Day happened in 2003?  

Also, this movie introduces more Terminator varieties.   In the first movie, the T-800 is stated to be new in the future.   Then in the second movie, the T-800 admits that the T-1000 is much more sophisticated, because it’s an “advanced prototype.”   In this movie, the T-850 claims to be obsolete, and says the T-X is much more advanced.   So it sounds like Skynet was busily inventing better Terminators for these missions, except it shouldn’t have had time for that.   It lost the war and had to use the time machine as a last-ditch effort.  It’s weird enough that it used the time machine three times, but it shouldn’t have had years to do this.   The Human Resistance captured the time machine shortly after winning the war, right?   I really hope T4 explains some of this.

Roger Ebert called this movie “Essentially one long chase and fight, punctuated by comic, campy or simplistic dialogue."   The first 24 minutes are fairly dull, but once it gets rolling, it’s pretty fun to watch.    But he’s right.   When I watched all the DBZ movies in 2019, I realized that Movie 7 is just one big fight scene, with some slice of life stuff at the beginning to set things up.    T3′s basically the same, with very little else to occupy its time.   T1 had the relationship between Sarah and Kyle, and T2 had Sarah’s hangups and John’s bonding with “Uncle Bob”.   T3 really only has Kate and John hanging on for dear life as their protector drags them through the story.    It’s a fun chase, with lots of guns and explosions and breaking stuff, but there’s not much more to it.  

So what’s good about this movie?  What makes it really stand out?   Well, for openers, the T-X is pretty cool.  The T-1000 was going to be difficult to top, and I don’t think the T-X ever succeeded, but it wasn’t for lack of trying.   She has liquid metal on top of an endoskeleton, so she can disguise herself, but she can’t seep under doors and stuff like that.   Also, she has weapons built into her body, so she’s the only time traveler who could actually bring future weapons with her into the past.   Also, she can control machines, like when she hijacks a bunch of police cars and fire trucks to help her chase down John.   She’s ridiculously overpowered, and she does not give a fuck who knows it.  The previous Terminators at least attempted to keep a low profile, revealing themselves only when ready to attack, but the T-X just wreaks havoc all over the place.    She’s not worried about the authorities or a lack of firepower, or anything at all, so she’s free to execute her mission with reckless abandon. 

Second, I take some solace in John Connors personal crisis in this movie.  He was kind of chill about the whole thing in T2, because he got his mom back and he had a cool robot pal, and they seemed to have the whole Skynet problem figured out.     In this movie, Sarah’s dead, and he doesn’t know what to do with himself.  He can’t quite believe that Judgement Day won’t come, so he lives off the grid and tries to avoid everyone.   He doesn’t want the Future War to happen, but at the same time, his life has no purpose without it.   Later, he becomes despondent and says that he must not be the chosen one after all, because he’s no leader and he never was.  

Except, he is, and he has to be, and he becomes one at the end of the movie, when he finally accepts his fate.   There’s something very powerful about the shot of Kate holding his hand as he prepares to give orders to the other survivors on the radio.  They’re stuck in this dark future now, and they have to see it through together.  

I think, whenever I watched these movies before, that I never really “got” John Connor as a character.  In T2 he was a kid, so I just wrote him off.   He wasn’t John Connor yet, so it didn’t matter much.    In T3, he seemed extremely pathetic, and I took his lack of confidence at face value.   I thought he really wasn’t ready to lead, and he only ended up in that role by default.    But this time around, I see how in T2 he was the moral center of the good guy team.   Sarah was lashing out at everyone and the Terminator only cared about mission objectives, but John kept reminding everyone of the value of human life, and what they were all fighting for.   Even as a kid, he got “it” in a way that others didn’t.   In T3, he’s demoralized, but he still knows how to do this stuff, and how to lead.  He just doesn’t feel motivated until the final act of the movie.  

That didn’t stick with me when I first saw this movie in ‘03, but I’m older now, and less sure of myself than I used to be, and all the validation I get feels hollow and unconvincing.  Like John, I may be aware that I have the capacity to do things, but it doesn’t always feel like it’s enough.  That’s what T3 has that T2 doesn’t.   It’s that crisis of confidence that separates the two films, although it’s subtle enough that it’s easy to overlook. 

[august-anon]

LERning New Things About Ourselves -- Pineapple’s Fics!

Note From August: With Pineapple taking a break from tumblr until she’s an adult, I will be hosting her fic on my blog for the time being. You can find them under tags like pineapple fics and pineapple writing. Once she is back, they will be deleted from my blog and reposted to her own. Thanks for being understanding to her during this time! Don’t forget to show her your love!

Word Count: 9111 words

Characters: lee!Virgil, ler!Roman

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Virgil’s heart thudded out of his chest as he stared up at the maliciously coy smile leaning over him. He had never been so excited yet so terrified in his life. “So, darling,” cooed his captor. “Shall we begin your destruction?”

~~~~~~~~~~

It all started on that fateful day when Virgil Anthony decided to post an ad for a new roommate. His previous roommates, Patton and Logan each got married and moved away, leaving Virgil with an empty apartment and no friends. 

 He was surprisingly content with that reality had it not been for a silly little thing called “rent” that incessantly found itself worming its way into Virgil’s life, and grew impressively large throughout the months. So, deciding he wished to eat this month, he begrudgingly settled on posting a chipper little advertisement on their community college’s website requesting a new roommate, provided they could come up with $450 a month. Weeks passed by and he was starting to lose hope until finally, he got a reply. After a quick online interview, he found himself with a new roommate. Before Virgil knew it, it was moving day.

 And that was when he met Roman Prince. Roman was… eccentric.. to say the least, but despite their slightly awkward interview, Virgil knew he was the one. And maybe it helped that he made twice what Virgil made in a week, and brought with him a flatscreen TV and a Switch. Just a little.

 “Ahh! Hello!” greeted the man as he set down his suitcase on the steps leading to the apartment. “You must be Virgil!” He stuck out the newly freed hand to shake Virgil’s. Virgil accepted.

 “Hey, dude. Yeah, and you must be Roman,” he acknowledged with a smile. “Do you need help with your stuff?” 

Roman waved his hand. “Nah, a couple of buddies of mine are coming by later to help me. For now, it’s just me and my suitcase,” he answered, pointing to the suitcase he left by the staircase. Virgil nodded. 

 “Okay, cool. Well, why don’t you come in, and we can chat.” Virgil wrung his hands slightly as he spoke, his nerves lit up from the social anxiety. He was trying his best to be friendly and not scare this guy off. Fortunately, Roman seemed to do most of the talking for the both of them. Only a couple hours in, the two found themselves seated on the sofa, sipping wine, and getting to know each other. Well, it was mostly Virgil getting to know Roman.

 “So, how long have you lived in Cheyenne?” Virgil asked him.

 “About three years now! We moved right after I graduated highschool, my parents grew up here, and I decided to go to college here too,” he answered, pointing to the east side of the apartment in the direction of the community college.

 Virgil smiled. “That’s nice you all can live in the same area. You get along with your family well, I take it?”

 Roman bobbed his head. “Oh yeah. I’m an only child, and it’s safe to say they spoiled me,” he chuckled, and Virgil joined him. Roman shrugged, smiling wryly. “I mean, I’m sure you figured that out considering no sibling should ever feel this confident,” he joked.

 Virgil snickered. “Yeah,” he agreed. “Coming from a kid with three older brothers, I know.” He poured some more red wine into both of their glasses. “So, where do you work?” he inquired, ignoring the urge to ask where he makes so much money,

 “I work at the bar across the street, Rattlesnake Juice Bar. I’m the manager,” Roman said, bringing the glass up to his lips. Virgil’s eyes widened slightly in surprise. 

 “Wow, that’s impressive! Normally at twenty-one, employers don't offer management positions at bars,” commented Virgil, sipping his own drink. Roman swallowed his drink and shrugged.

 “I guess it was because I had some experience, you know? I’ve been in management since I was seventeen.” Virgil nodded his head with a smile. 

 “Yeah, that’d do it,” he chuckled. Virgil shifted so he sat on his knees. “So, are you going to do management for a major?” he asked. 

 Roman shook his head. “No, actually, although it’d probably be a better career plan. Instead, I’m majoring in Journalism with a minor in Creative Writing.” Virgil brought the glass up to his lips, preparing to drink again. 

 “Oh wow, that’s cool. What do you like to write?”

 “Tickle fanfiction.”

 Virgil coughed violently, and spit the wine he just had in his mouth onto his shirt. Roman’s eyes widened in panic. “Oh, oh my gosh, are you alright?” he asked, hurriedly grabbing paper towels and handing them to the still sputtering man. Virgil snapped back to reality and finally noticed the spill.

 “Oh, for heavens’ sake-“ he muttered, graciously accepting the towels and dabbing at his shirt. Roman furrowed his eyebrows as he helped Virgil clean up.

 “Are you alright?” he asked again, his voice laced in genuine concern. Virgil looked up at him for a moment and examined his eyes for any signs of malfeasance. Nothing.

 “Um, yeah, I-“ he coughed again, his cheeks turning a light pink. “Yeah, I just, you know, went down the wrong pipe,” he stuttered, gesturing vaguely to his throat. Roman nodded in understanding.

 “Yeah, that happens to me all the time. Are you sure you’re good?”

 Virgil nodded a bit too earnestly as he got up to go throw away the wine-soaked paper towels. Once safely in the kitchen, he refocused his breathing and tried to calm his beating heart. It was a good thing too, because as soon as he returned, Roman continued the conversation right back up where it had left off.

 Virgil barely had time to sit down before Roman began speaking again. “Yeah, so anyways, back to our conversation, I write tickle fanfiction,” he explained with a smile. “It’s super fun. I have quite the following on Tumblr too! Over three hundred followers and they're growing by the minute!” Roman raved. Virgil just started in utter disbelief.

 “Oh, well. That’s, uh, cool.”

 Roman’s face lit up in excitement. “I take it you know what tickle fanfiction is?” he asked eagerly.

 Virgil’s face heated to a thousand degrees. “No! I-I mean, no, not really. I just, I was being supportive. Yeah.” Virgil cringed at how painfully obvious he was being. This guy had to know his slip up. At least he clearly didn’t have to worry about being judged with Roman. But alarmingly, Roman actually appeared to believe him.

 “Oh! Well, it’s the coolest thing. Basically-“ he paused for a moment. “Hm, actually, I guess the best way to explain is to start at the very beginning!”

 And there Virgil sat, for an entire hour, as he listened to Roman in great explicit detail explain every aspect of the fixation of tickling, the community he was in, and everything he wrote about without a single stutter or slip up. And Virgil listened the whole way through, flinching at the subconscious wiggling of fingers as Roman discussed teases, and thanking whoever the genius inventor of foundation was, for it was the only thing keeping him from blinding his new roommate with the power of his flush as Roman described lees and lers.

 Virgil also found out that apparently Roman was a ler. How…interesting.

 Finally, mercifully, Roman stopped talking. “Oh goodness,” he laughed. “I’ve been talking for almost an hour, haven’t I!”

 Exactly fifty-six minutes, thought Virgil. 

 “Sorry, I just get really excited and passionate about tickling and writing! Writing is my biggest hobby, and I love it so much. I try to be in touch with all my followers too, you know? I message back to anyone who messages me first, and reply to comments when I can.” 

 “Um, yeah. Well, I, uh, better throw this shirt in the wash,” Virgil interjected, leaping from the couch and scurrying out of the room.

 Roman stared, watching his roommate in confusion, but ultimately shrugged it off and went to go find his new room.

It had been a week since the incident, and frankly, Virgil had not fully recovered yet. He didn’t even know how to begin to process the fact that a proud, confident ler was now living with him. He desperately wanted to know what Roman’s Tumblr account was to see if he could follow him. But discreetly of course, because even though Roman may be secure and confident in his quirk, Virgil was not, and that was just how it was. It would be easy, right? Just ignore him when he talks about it. Virgil was sure Roman was probably used to it.

 Later that afternoon, Virgil was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee, and was intensely scrolling through Tumblr on his phone trying to find Roman’s blog, when the man in question walked into the room.

 Virgil all but threw his phone across the room in a panic when he heard the heavy footsteps behind him. He spun around. “Uh, y-yes?” he asked, closing his eyes in an attempt to slow his pounding heart rate. Roman didn’t seem to notice the odd behavior.

 “Hey, Virge! So, you’re an English major, right?” He pulled up a chair at the dining room table and sat down. Virgil nodded, happy for the change of conversation.

 “Yep. Whatcha need?” 

 Roman pulled out his phone and scrolled for a bit before handing it over to Virgil. “Do you mind proofreading this for any grammar or spelling errors?” 

 Virgil nodded and accepted the phone, squinting to try and read the tiny print. This wasn’t uncommon for Virgil. Many of his acquaintances often asked Virgil to proofread their emails and letters to bosses and businesses. It wasn’t until a few seconds of staring until he noticed.

 It was a tickle fic. Virgil’s face blossomed into a bright red, as he glanced up at Roman who was sitting stone faced and calm.

 “What-” he cleared his throat, “What is this?” he asked, trying to appear nonchalant.

 Roman tilted his head. “One of my fics! I’m not the best with grammar, and I was really hoping you could help me edit. You know, as a writing major I really want to get better,” he responded with a smile. Virgil took a shaky breath. No, this was fine. Completely and totally fine. He was just reading a fic in the direct presence of a ler, and then giving him pointers on how to make it better. 

 “Well, um, you could, maybe, reword this better,” he finally said after a minute. 

 “What part?”

 Virgil pointed to a sentence on the screen. “That one.”

 Roman looked at him and giggled. “Virge, do you really think I can see that? Just read it to me, silly.”

  Virgil’s face felt like it was on fire. “Oh, um. Okay. So you w-wrote, ‘He laughed, squirming all over the bed, as Chuni followed him, massaging his r-ribs.’ Yeah?” He glanced up at Roman to see him listening intently. Oh, this was hard. “Um, so, to make it flow better you can reword it slightly by changing, changing the order.” He cleared his throat again. “For example, ‘He laughed and squirmed all over the bed and Chuni followed him, m-massaging his ribs.’ Does that, um, make sense?” he clarified.

 Roman smiled and nodded. “Yeah, it does! Thanks! Anything else?” Virgil shut his eyes in an attempt to control his breathing.

 “Well you, um, spelt t-tormenting wrong,” he grimaced. Roman leaned over. 

 “Oh did I?” Virgil nodded, propping his head up on his arm in a weak attempt to hide his face. “Can you go over the rest with me?”

 Virgil pinched his arm. “Yep, sure thing,” he squeaked.

 That was by the longest afternoon of his young adult life. But if he thought that was bad, nothing compared to what happened a month later. 

Virgil had still not yet found Roman’s blog, and he kicked himself for not checking to see what the title of the one fic he proofread was so he could search it up later. Regardless, he was still very closeted in his secret fantasy, and somehow managed to keep his cool throughout the many conversations where Roman brought up his ler moods, and writings, and such. 

 “Virgil!” exclaimed Roman, bursting into the room. Virgil jumped slightly from his seat on the couch, nearly dropping his phone. 

 “Um, yes?” He turned to see Roman holding a ukulele. “Why do you have a ukulele?” 

 Roman smiled excitedly. “Well, so you know how I talk about teases, right? How they’re essential to the wreckage of a lee?” Virgil forcefully shoved the embarrassment panic creeping up down his throat. “Well, I thought how cool it’d be, as a new type of tease, to write song parodies of nursery rhymes, but make them tickle related!”

 Virgil’s stomach twisted in a pleasant coil as he sat in complete shock. Surely not. “I, uh-“

 “You wanna hear some?” he asked, bouncing up and down excitedly on his toes. Virgil continued to ogle as he begged his 

voice to work.

 “Um, s-sure,” he stuttered out, his voice cracking at the end.

 Roman beamed. “Perfect! Okay, so you know the song Tiny Tim, right?”

 Virgil coughed. “T-the turtle song?” Roman nodded.

 “Yep! But I changed it.” He did a strum of the ukulele before beginning to play the catchy tune. “I have a little feather,” he sang out, his voice ringing out with the chords of the instrument. “His name is Tiny Tim, I used him on my lee, to see if he would grin!” Virgil blanched at the teasing lilt in his voice. “I drank up all his laughter, it made him buck and squeal, and now he’s nice and flustered, his smile oh so real!” 

 Roman finished the song and looked at Virgil expectantly. Unfortunately, at that moment Virgil’s voice decided to duck out and leave him. Roman giggled at him. “Are you speechless at my talent or something?”

 Virgil, horrified, frantically willed the embarrassment away as he finally found his voice. “Oh, no, sorry. Uh, yeah no. It was good. Good,” he took a breath while rubbing the back of his neck. “Job. Yeah,” he finished lamely.

 Roman pumped his fists in excitement. “Yessss! I was super proud of it! You wanna hear another one?” Rather than wait for a response, he strummed the ukulele again. “Oh, so this tease requires a specific name for it. Do you mind if I just use yours?”

 Virgil swore he was going to have a stroke.

 “Oh I know a little lee,” he sang, this time playing a new tune. “His name is Wiggle Virgey,” he paused his singing to look at him. “Adding y’s at the end of names makes it teasy,” he explained. 

 Virgil said nothing. 

 “He is so very nice, but oh he is so giggly, and so goes his arms, and his arms go like so, and his arms are always so-oh-oh!”

 Yep. Virgil was going to die. 

 After two more verses, Roman finally finished his song and Virgil was all but willing to sell both his kidneys to disappear from this conversation.  

 “So, what did you think? That one isn’t my best, but I liked it!” Roman commented nonchalantly.

 Virgil simply stared and nodded. Roman furrowed his eyebrows in concern. “Are you feeling alright?”

 Virgil blinked. “YeAh, why?” His voice cracked as he tried to speak. He quickly coughed to cover it up.

 “I don’t know, you just seem sick or something. You’ve been coughing an awful lot. Your face is like bright red and you’ve been oddly quiet,” said Roman. That only made Virgil blush even more. 

 “No, yeah, no I’m fine,” he answered, waving him off. “Yeah, but I really gotta go work on, um that thing, for school, see ya around.” And with that, Virgil darted out of the room for the second time, leaving Roman standing alone in utter bewilderment.

Virgil had done his very best to avoid Roman after the whole tease incident, which was difficult considering they lived under the same roof. And even worse considering Roman was the most oblivious guy on the planet. 

 Virgil was in bed, scrolling through Tumblr on his phone, when he saw another post from his favorite writer, TheLeringPrince. He felt his lee mood spike as he saw it was a new tease post. Eagerly, he tapped the post and began to read. Slowly as he read though, something seemed off. The tease post was various nursery rhymes all modified to fit into the theme of tickling. And Tiny Tim was one of them.

 Virgil’s heart began to race and his mind started spinning as he hurriedly tried to calm himself down. “No, Virgil,” he breathed out. “No, it’s just a coincidence. Roman probably stole it from this guy or maybe just thought of the same idea.” Ironically, he found himself wishing his roommate was a thief who stole credit from his favorite Tumblr user’s work, rather than admit that Roman was said favorite Tumblr user.

 But right at the bottom of the post, there was a little bold sentence that truly made Virgil’s heart stop.

 ‘And many of you have been wondering about my sudden improvement in my grammar and spelling. Well, you can thank my brand new roommate for helping me proofread all my new fics and teases!’

 What was Virgil’s luck? Of all the people on this planet of seven billion, he gets a roommate who, not only is a confident and charismatic ler who happily reads his teases and fics to Virgil, but is also the specific ler that Virgil had been daydreaming about being destroyed by for years.

 Virgil wasn’t sure if he wanted to hug whoever ordained this or punch them.

 Virgil contemplated it for a while before finally deciding to tell his anxiety to hit the road, and take this glorious opportunity by the horns. So with a deep breath, he clicked on TheLeringPrince’s profile, then DM’s, then opened his keypad.

 Immenslee_Ticklish: Hey, just wanted to say that I really like your stuff, and that you seem like a pretty cool dude. Would you want to chat sometime?’

 Immediately, he received a reply.

 TheLeringPrince: Why thank you, Immenslee. And yes, I would love to chat ;)

Days went by, and Roman and Virgil were talking through their blogs constantly. Roman had taken to teasing Virgil quite thoroughly on the platform, and Virgil obviously ate it up. Roman even mentioned wanting to meet up sometime. Virgil would be lying if he said he didn't nearly pass out at that.

 Of course they still talked in real life, only Roman didn’t know who Virgil was. Oddly enough, Virgil almost felt safer talking to his Tumblr handle rather than to him in real life. He had to laugh at that. Six months ago, Virgil would have fainted at the idea of living with his favorite ler. And now, here he was, finally having something to satiate his ever present, insatiable lee mood! And he was hiding. 

 He just wasn’t sure how to tell him! Leave his Tumblr open? Text him? Tell him through Tumblr DMs? For goodness’ sake, what was he so afraid of? This guy was clearly accepting and non judgmental about the whole thing. Most people would kill to be in this position. Well, most lees anyways.

 Little did Virgil know, but Roman was already pretty suspicious. He didn’t have any evidence of the fact, but he was pretty certain that Virgil had to have some lee in him somewhere. His blush and stutters were getting increasingly obvious and even though Roman could be an idiot, he wasn’t stupid. It took him a while to figure it out, but once he did, there was nothing stopping him. Except of course, if Virgil for some reason just didn’t want to be tickled. That was fine too. But there was something in him that made Roman sincerely doubt that was the case.

 Roman had never had a problem about being open with his fixation. He figured that if people were going to judge him based on a silly little liking, then they weren’t worth being in his life. He could understand why some people hid it, sure. It was scary to be so open about something other people found weird. But Roman just never had that fear.

 But one day, Roman got a message. It was from a follower named Immenslee_Ticklish. Now Roman recognized this user, as they often commented, liked, and reblogged alot of his works. They were great fans, and apparently very much lee themselves. And all of a sudden, after two whole years of following Roman, they decide to message him. 

 Interesting.

 But Roman ultimately decided to keep quiet about his suspicions because if Virgil wasn’t saying anything, then he didn’t want Roman to know. And Roman respected that. Even if he really wanted to tickle him.

 Turns out he didn’t have to wait much longer.

Virgil had practiced it for weeks. He knew exactly what to say, and how he was going to say it. But that all flew out the window as he stared at Roman.

 “Virgil, buddy, you’ve been staring at me for three minutes now,” commented Roman, raising an eyebrow at the man in question. “You came to tell me something.” Virgil inhaled deeply and tried to speak, but the words got caught in his throat. Roman gave him a sympathetic look. “Hey, it’s okay. No need to be scared.” Virgil just stared at him. Roman’s heart broke for this kid, who was obviously scared out of his mind. “I promise I’m not going to be upset, or judge you, or do whatever your pretty little head is thinking might happen.

 “I’mImenseleeTicklish!” he spat out suddenly. Roman jumped in surprise, but as soon as it hit him, he grinned.

 “Oh, are you now?” he hummed, a sly smile watching the flustered boy with great amusement.

 “Wait, no, I meant like the username. I’m the user Immenslee_Ticklish. I didn’t mean it like I’m immensely ticklish, well, I might be, but-“

 Roman’s amused look caused him to stop talking. “So, yes?”

 Virgil nodded. “I’m, uh, I’m a lee. Yeah.” The two of them stared at each other, neither one breaking the deafening silence or the intense eye contact.

 “Well that’s very valuable information,” Roman stated calmly, being the first to speak, and before walking away and into the kitchen.

 Wait?! Before walking away?!

 Virgil’s mouth dropped open as he watched Roman walk off. “Wait!” he called indignantly. Roman paused, smirking away from Virgil. 

 “Yes?”

 Virgil just stared for a minute, waving his arms dramatically as if it would help him speak. “Aren’t you going to, um, do something?”

 Roman turned around to face him, as Virgil paled at seeing Roman smile darkly at him. “Like what?”

 Realization hit him like a truck, and Virgil gaped in absolute horror. He was going to make him ask, wasn’t he? Oh, this was mean. So, so, so mean. 

 But at this point the lee mood was so bad that his dignity was going to have to leave him.

 “I- were you, um,” he covered his face with his hands. “Were you gonna tickle me?”

 He could hear Roman’s evil grin. “Do you want me to?”

 “Um, yes. Please.” He swallowed harshly.

 Roman clapped. “Why look at those manners!” he praised, gleaming at the whining boy in the living room. “I would love to. But to be clear, what exactly do you want to happen?”

 “W-What do you mean?” Virgil asked, peeking from behind his hands. 

 “Tell me exactly what you want for me to do. In explicit detail, or I won’t do any of it,” cooed Roman. 

 “You’re so mean,” Virgil whined into his hands again. Roman laughed at his expense.

 “I’m waiting~” 

 Virgil glared at him through his hands. “I want you to wreck me and tease me and destroy my resolve, and I want you to do it now! Please.” He added, lest he be made to repeat his request in a more polite manner. Roman reeled back, a tad surprised at the direct request.

 “Well, good for you. I’d be happy to,” he nodded, impressed. “Very well. Meet me in your room in ten minutes~” he teased with a wink. 

 After he left, Virgil let it sink in. He was about to be ruthlessly teased and broken by his ler idol in ten minutes.

 Oh he was going to die.

Virgil’s heart thudded out of his chest as he stared up at the malicious coy smile leaning over him. He had never been so excited yet so terrified in his life. “So, darling,” cooed his captor. “Shall we begin your destruction?” Roman’s voice lowered significantly into a husky tone that sent shivers down Virgil’s spine. He tugged on his restraints, waves of excitement and panic flooding his body, and feeding his lee mood from before. He had waited years. Years and years and years for this day. To be in this position, and about to get wrecked into oblivion. He had no idea what Roman was going to do, but he was excitedly terrified.

 Roman took a single finger and began aimlessly swirling around Virgil’s belly, going in zigzag patterns, curlicues, and idle shapes while he rested his head on Virgil’s chest. Virgil’s breath hitched, the gentle touches not quite tickling, but was setting an amazing precedent for what was about to take place. Roman let out a deep breath, purposely aiming it for Virgil’s neck, rewarding him with a satisfying squeal as the man scrunched up his shoulders as much as he could.

 “I have a dilemma, Virgil,” sighed Roman melodramatically. “I feel like, since you’ve waited all this time for some expert ler to completely wreck you, destroy you, and undo your very resolve, that you ought to have a good experience, hm?” he commented, glancing up to look at Virgil’s wobbly smile. “I mean you’ve been so patient! It’d feel criminal to deprive you of the best possible experience. Don’t you agree?” He paused, waiting for a reply while still mindlessly twisting his finger on the pale expanse of skin, but all Virgil did was squeak softly in embarrassment.

 Suddenly, Roman snapped his fingers, causing Virgil to flinch slightly. “I’ve got it!” he announced, smiling darkly. “Let’s let you choose.” 

 Virgil’s eyes widened in pure horror. “What?” 

 “Why choose your own teases, of course! Who better knows exactly how to tease and fluster you, and turn you into a giggling blushy pile of goo then yourself?” Roman enunciated his point with a few teasing pokes to his chest. Virgil squirmed in an attempt to get the pokes to hit his stomach but he had no such luck. “So, Giggles, you want to try it?”

 Virgil bit his lip and bounced his legs anxiously. “No!” he whined, his wobbly smile growing by the minute.

 Roman grinned. “No? But it’s like a choose your own adventure! You choose your own teases and tools! Won’t that be fun?” Virgil shook his head violently. Roman mock pouted. “But I think it will be fun!”

 Virgil made a strangled guttural sound in reply. “I-“

 “Yes, dear,” he urged, resting his chin on Virgil’s chest once again.

 Virgil sighed and closed his eyes in frustration. “I-I can’t tease,” he mumbled under his breath. 

 “What was that?”

 “I can’t tease!” he repeated, only slightly louder this time. Fortunately, Roman heard him.

 “Oh well, that’s not a problem, silly. You aren’t saying the teases. I am!” he replied with a smirk. Virgil peaked one eye open.

 “But I thought you said-“

 “Oh, I know what I said,” he answered, cutting Virgil off. “No, I already know what teases you chose. You don’t have to say a word.” To Virgil's confusion, he pulled out his phone. It wasn’t until Roman started scrolling and grinning that Virgil’s eyes widened in panicked realization.

 “No, no, no, NO!” Virgil called out, bouncing in anticipation. He tried lunging for the phone but his bonds held him back.

 Roman pretended not to hear him. “Hm, let’s see. Posts, then notes, then-“ Roman grinned up at Virgil. “Ah yes, reblogged by Immenselee_ticklish! Oh, look there’s a comment too!”

 “No! No, don’t read the comment!”

 “It says, ‘Ahhhh!! Oh gosh, I’m blushing so hard!!’ Hold up.” Roman turned to look up at Virgil who was fire engine red. He smirked. “Would you look at that. Anyway, it continues to say, ‘I would die if anyone said this to me!’ And then there’s a blushing face.” 

 He smirked again as he faced Virgil. “So, would you say you’ve died?” Virgil whined longingly. Roman nodded while looking back at his phone. “I’d say yes.”

 Roman continued to scroll only for his eyes to light up in delight. “Oh looky here!” Virgil slammed his eyes shut, not daring to. 

 “No, no, no, no.”

 “Virgil look! It’s a gif! Oh wow.” 

 Oh yeah. Virgil definitely wasn’t going to look. He was strong, he was resilient, and nothing could break him!

 “Aww and they’re getting their bellybutton tickled! Isn’t that your most favorite spot in the whole wide world?”

 Um, yeah. It was easy, mind over matter. He wouldn’t look. Easy.

 “Hey! And it’s your best friend! Mr. Toothbrush!”

 Yeah, he... What was he saying?

 “Roman, please,” he begged, eyes still clamped shut. The endless teases were killing him. His ever present lee mood had grown into a ravenous monster that he thought would never be satiated. His body screamed for tickles. It was more than a want, or even a craving. It was a need at this point. And Roman knew that and it only fueled his evil ler facade all the more. 

  “Aw, poor baby. Don’t worry, we’ll start soon,” he cooed.

 Roman made Virgil lie there, flustered and helpless, and oh so terribly lee, and wait as he read out tease after tease that Virgil reblogged from his Tumblr, and even read the comments from the lee himself.  Virgil wished with every second of every minute spent lying on that bed he had never made that Tumblr account. 

 After ten or so teases, Roman finally, mercifully, put the phone away. Virgil sighed in relief. Finally! He was going to be tickled to his limits, then past them, then have them pushed even further. He didn’t just want to be broken. He didn’t just want to be destroyed. No, he wanted so much more.

 Roman marched up to the table and placed both hands on Virgil’s thighs. “So, a little birdie told me you like baby talk,” he teased. Virgil blushed, which Roman took for a yes. “So would a, oh I don’t know, little kitchy, kitchy, coo would get you all flustered, hm? A little-“ his voice dropped an octave. “Tickle, tickle, tickle~” his face morphed to a maniacal grin. 

 Virgil's face turned crimson as he wiggled around on the table. “Noho!” He barked out a laugh. Roman raised his eyebrows in surprise.

 “No? Hmm. What about nursery rhymes, huh? You sure liked the ones I sang to you earlier this month! Do you want to hear some of those?  ‘Cause I got some good ones~” Roman whipped out a feather seemingly out of nowhere and waved it teasingly in front of Virgil’s nose. Virgil yelped at the sensation.

 “I have a little feather,” sang out Roman, his voice rising and falling with the feather. “His name is Tiny Tim. I used him on my lee, to see if he would grin.” He winked at Virgil who just blushed deeper. “I drank up all the laughter, it made him buck and squeal, and now he’s nice and flustered,” Another wink. “His smile is so real.” 

 Virgil was already softly giggling at the song, and it only encouraged Roman to keep going. “You got a little giggle button, right? I have another fun song, just. for. him!” he cheered, punctuating each word with a poke to his bellybutton, making Virgil squeal each time. 

 He took the feather and ran it in a large teasy circle all around the vast expanse of vulnerable tummy. “Ring around the belly, a button full of jelly,” he heard Virgil snort when the feathers hit a particular spot on his waistline. “-tickle, tickle, they all fall down!” Roman ended the verse with several flicks of the fluffy feather to Virgil’s bellybutton, causing him to buck and laugh, but it was still technically soft tickles. Virgil didn’t want soft tickles right now.

 “Rohohoho,” he whined through the giggles. Roman ignored him. 

 “Let’s see. Oh, here’s another favorite of mine!” He cleared his throat and lifted the feather again. “Oh head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes! Head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes~” He ran the feather all over the respective places, and it didn’t tickle much, but Roman’s plan was working. Virgil was getting more and more flustered, and more and more ticklish. 

 “Oh feet, tummies, arms and chins, arms and chins. Feet, tummies, arms and chins, arms and chins~” Roman watched in glee as Virgil’s face turned darker and darker with each song, and how even though the tickling was so light, his giggles were still sharp.

 All of a sudden, with zero warning, Roman ditched the feather and attacked Virgil’s tummy with all ten fingers. “Oh, she’ll be tickling Virgil senseless when she comes! She’ll be tickling Virgil senseless when she comes-“ Virgil fell into deep belly laughter as he thrashed and pulled desperately. “She’ll be tickling Virgil senseless, she’ll be tickling Virgil senseless, she’ll be tickling Virgil senseless when she comes!” 

 Virgil had never felt more embarrassed in his life, but that made the tickling so much more fun. After two more verses, Roman stopped. Virgil whined again at the loss of contact. 

 Roman chuckled. “You really are a hopeless lee, aren’t you?”

 Virgil scrunched his nose. “Shut up.”

 Roman’s eyebrows raised in an accusatory way. “Do you want to say that again?”

 “What? Shut up?” snarked Virgil, trying to wind him up to get wrecked and forced to apologize, but unfortunately, Roman saw right through his plan.

 “Wow. You really are desperate. Stooping so low as to provoke me to lash out and wreck you right this minute?” Roman tisked lightly. “Imagine! You honestly think that I’m going to fall for the oldest trick in the book? I hate to break it to you, Stormcloud, but I’m far more experienced than you think I am,” he added, shaking his head in disapproval. “I ought to make you wait longer just for that.”

 Virgil gasped and shook his head desperately. “No, no, please no! I’m sorry!”

 Roman shook his head again. “Poor little lee. So desperate you’ve lost your dignity. Here you are, begging like this for me to so horribly wreck you until you can’t even remember your own name.” Despite his words of disapproval, he smiled. “Oh course, I don’t blame you. I am very talented so I understand your eagerness. For that reason, I will grant mercy and not punish you for your lousy attempts at brattiness.”

 Virgil let out the biggest sigh of relief imaginable. At last! He was going to be wrecked!

 “But I still have one more game before we start.”

 Virgil threw his head back onto the bed with such a force it almost hurt. “Oh my gosh, Roman please,” he begged, whining at a new frequency.

 Roman sighed. “One more! You can do it. I have to make sure your ticklish little body is at optimal sensitivity! So, here’s an easy game to finish you off.” He walked around to the side of the bed. “Just gotta warm you up,” he winked before wiggling his fingers menacingly above Virgil. Virgil asked, and sucked in his stomach, but Roman simply drew in closer. The fingers were so tantalizingly close to the tickle spot, and Virgil swore he felt them already. And in his mind, he pleaded and begged with Roman to hurry up and get on with it already, but on the outside he was completely stunned into silence. 

 Until Roman did a fake out.

 Roman launched his wiggling fingers at Virgil full speed without any sort of warning, and Virgil lost it. He laughed, he snorted, he cackled, and he squealed. He jerked and thrashed all over his limited free space for a whole minute until he realized. Roman’s hands were behind his back, as he watched Virgil with the most evil look you could imagine.

 “You're awful!” screeched Virgil, both mortified by his own reaction, and furious at Roman’s trick. Roman laughed out loud.

 “Hmm, okay, okay. I’ll wreck you now. Besides, I can’t just keep you here, endlessly teasing and torturing you forever?” He paused with a smirk. “Actually-“

 “Roman!” Virgil cried out, laughing in both frustration at his lee mood, and anticipation from what was coming.

 Roman laughed at his panic. “I’m just kidding, jeez. You poor lee. Alright, I’ll wreck you, on the one condition you tell me your worst spots.”

 Virgil’s eyes turned to saucers. “I-what?”

 “You heard me! Give me those death spots or else no tickles~” he sang, thinking the nerves were from his tease.

 But strangely, Virgil turned more bashful, rather than flustered. It was almost a sheepish look on his face that replaced the embarrassment. That certainly got Roman’s attention.

 “What’s wrong?” he asked, eyebrows furrowing in slight concern. Virgil scrunched his face up and looked down.

 “I-I well, I don’t know what my worst spots are,” he replied with a shy smile.

 Roman was confused for about two seconds before it dawned on him.  “You-“ he stared in utter wonderment. “You‘ve never tickled before, have you?”

 Virgil’s face flushed under the attention. “Well, yeah, no not really,” he mumbled sheepishly.

 Oh, this was a game changer. Roman beamed. “You mean to tell me, I’m your first time?” Virgil smiled again, and nodded hesitantly. Roman had never been so excited in his life. “Well then, I guess we have work to do!” he commented, a wicked grin and a twinkle shining in his eye.

 Roman turned and walked down to the end of the bed, clicking his tongue as he examined the body in front of him. “I suppose the best thing to do would be to either go bottom to top, or top to bottom.” He tilted his head up at Virgil while smiling. “Would you by any chance have a preference?”

 Virgil huffed. “I guess, I don’t know. Bottom to top?” he suggested, more or so not caring as he really just wanted to be wrecked already. Roman clapped.

 “Perfect! That means I get to play with your cute little feet!” he cheered. Virgil blushed. Roman held tight of the right foot’s ankle and took the same pointer finger and carefully slid it from the tippy top of the toes all the way down to the heel. Virgil immediately started his giggles anew, wiggling his upper body at the light touches. “Oh good! It seems you’re ticklish here! What else can we try?” 

 Roman soon added the other four fingers into the fray and began ruthlessly scratching up and down and all around the soft tender arches, making Virgil snort and fall into deeper laughter at the feeling. He tickled all around the foot, being very thorough and detailed in his methods, making sure not one inch of ticklish skin was left unscathed. Then, without warning, he moved up to the toes. He wiggled each little toe and scolded them if they curled up. Eventually, he pulled them back and gave them a good scratching underneath as punishment for their misbehavior. Virgil thrashed like nobody’s business, finally getting exactly what he wanted, and it was so much better then he had ever thought. And he certainly didn’t complain when Roman informed him that his other foot was getting left out, and needed the same tickly treatment.

 After both feet were thoroughly assaulted (Roman may have had to go back to the right foot again, it seemed to be getting lonely),  he spidered his fingers all the way up to Virgil’s knees. Virgil smiled in anticipation, bouncing his leg as he waited. 

 “Ah yes, the knees. Such an underrated tickle spot! Very few people think about the knees being so terribly ticklish, but they can be! It all starts with this little pressure point, riiiight here.” Roman began rapidly wheezing the muscle right above Virgil knee, making him fall into deep laughter. “Oh wonderful!” shouted Roman above the loud laughter. “It seems as if your knees are just as horridly sensitive as I thought!” His squeezing fingers quickly switched to spidering ones, and darted right on the underneath of his knees, sending Virgil snorting.

 Roman awed at the adorable sounds. “Aww, aren’t you just the cutest little thing? Are my tickly, tickly tickles making you giggle, hm?” he cooed, relishing in the deep red color that was Virgil’s face and the tiny snorts mixed in with the hysterical giggles.

 “Nohohohoho!” Virgil giggled out, trying to kick his legs but the restraints keeping every inch of ticklish skin in place.

 “No?” questioned Roman. “Well, that’s a shame! Why don’t we try something else then,” he pondered and immediately grabbed the young man’s thighs, squeezing sporadically and rapidly every area of muscle. Virgil’s eyes bulged out as he flung himself to sit up right and cackle.

 Roman’s eyes lit up with mischief at the extremity of Virgil’s reaction. “Oh, what's this? Does this tickle? Are you ticklish here?” he asked, the teasing lilt in his voice making the ruthless squeezing at his thighs all the worse. Virgil fell back on to the bed to wheeze with laughter when Roman moved up closer to his hips. “Virgil!” scolded Roman. “Hello! I’m talking to you! Does this tickle?” he asked again, not for one second stopping the wretched attack on the loathsomely sensitive muscle.

 When Virgil still didn’t reply, Roman felt a spike of worry, and slowed his squeezing fingers just a little. Virgil’s wheezy laughter died down, until it was more or less hysterical giggles. 

 “Yes!” Virgil called out. Roman was confused for a minute until he remembered the question he had asked a few minutes earlier. He took his hands off his legs, leaving Virgil limp and giggly. 

 “Oh good! See I guessed it did, but I was just checking,” he winked. “Congratulations, Virgil. I think you might have your first death spot.” 

 Virgil weakly held up a thumbs up, his giddy smile bright enough to blind someone. Roman smiled at him softly. “How about we take a break?” So he sat next to Virgil on the bed, gently rubbing his shin comfortingly, waiting for Virgil to regain all the breath he’d lost until finally-

 “Um, I think I’m ready to go again,” piped up the younger man. Roman grinned. 

 “You sure?” Virgil nodded eagerly. Roman leaned next to Virgil’s ear, making him squeak. Oh he’d have to remember that. 

 “Well then,” he purred, his voice sending shivers down Virgil’s spine. “Allow me to continue your destruction.” He peered down the bed where Virgil was stretched out, and examined it carefully like a puzzle. He walked down the side to the right of his hips. “Now if my memory serves me, correct me-” Roman began, but Virgil barked out a laugh. Roman glared at him. “What?”

 “Dude, what did you say?” he asked, laughing again. Roman crossed his arms.

 “If my memory serves me, correct me. It’s a saying!” Virgil burst out laughing again. “What?!”

 “The saying is, ‘If my memory serves me, correctly,’ not correct me,” he teased, still laughing at Roman’s miss interpretation. 

 “Okay, yeah, laugh it up, Virgil,” he retorted, immediately squeezing his right thigh again. Promptly the teasing man burst into laughter at the feeling, and proceeded to howl on the bed. “Don’t correct me again!” he playfully scolded before ceasing the tickling. 

 Roman crawled up on the bed in between Virgil legs in hopes of being able to navigate better. “Now, I say we try hips next. Some people overlook it, but they look wonderfully ticklish to me~” he sang, already the tone giving Virgil the giggles. Roman grinned at the pink color once again rising to his cheeks. “Aww, does mentioning the tickly tickles making you a little neeeervous?” he sang again, whilst skimming the skin of his waist and pant line. Virgil’s giggles greatly increased from both the tickling and the teasing alike, as he began wiggling around in the bed.

 Roman’s scratching fingers followed the wiggly hips with great ease, smiling in adoration as he listened to the sweet soft giggles come from his captive. “You’re adorable,” he commented without really thinking. 

 “Nuhnuhnuhuhu uhuhuhuh!” the giggling man protested, yet his denial only further proved Roman’s point.

 “Yeah huh!” argued Roman. “Alright enough softness, I want to watch you scream.” He put on his best evil ler face as he watched Virgil turn a bright crimson at the threat.

 Roman crawled up further until he was practically sitting on Virgil’s hips. “So, let’s test the waters for what are the vast expanse that is Virgil’s tickle spots, shall we?” Virgil pulled up his legs out of reflex, but they were blocked by Roman’s back. He whined.

 “Oh, whatever is the matter, dear?” he cooed, leaning in so close Virgil could feel his breath on his neck and ear. The man made a strangled noise in reply. “I’m sorry, darling, I don’t speak lee. Would you mind rephrasing your statement?” 

 Virgil just shut his eyes, trying to smother the wobbly grin that was slowly creeping up onto his face. Roman took that as a sign to continue. 

 He spidered his fingers up to Virgil’s sides, and kept them there, smiling as Virgil shuffled all over the bed in anticipation. “Gohohoho ohohohon, alreheheady!” he giggled out.

 “Is that anyway to ask for something?” Roman playfully scolded moments before digging into the boy’s sides. Virgil bucked and burst into giggles, thrashing and pulling. Roman didn’t stop for even a second, mercilessly tickling, squeezing and scratching all over the sides and even migrating to the soft skin of the belly. Virgil was in proper hysterics and was loving every minute of it.

 “Aww, aren’t you just the cutest thing! What? What’s the matter? Are you ticklish?” Roman teased, digging into the lower belly. Virgil squealed, and fell into even deeper laughter as Roman took to blowing raspberry after raspberry onto Virgil’s poor ticklish tummy. Virgil was in tickly heaven, for sure, but he still hadn’t been broken yet. And that was fine, but his growing hunger still hadn’t been filled, and he couldn’t help but wish deep down that there was somewhere to truly make him scream. He contemplated asking Roman to go for his thighs again.

 But then.

 As Roman paused the tickling on his sides and began to feel around, something happened. 

 Virgil could only possibly describe it as maybe a jolt of euphoric electricity that shocked him into the pit of his stomach. Something that found the roaring lion that was his lee mood and slapped it in the face. Something that sent shivers to his spine and butterflies to his stomach. Something that made him shriek at the mere feeling of Roman’s presence. If Roman’s dastardly laughter upon finding the spot was any indication, Virgil was screwed.

 “Well, looky here,” he noted, looking up at Virgil with a gleam in his eye, further confirming the reality that Virgil was about to experience. “It seems we’ve found something.” 

 Roman tested the spot again: a rib, nestled warmly in between a tiny layer of fat, and the beginning of his armpit. He sharply poked the rib, eliciting a similar shriek as before. Virgil’s eyes grew like saucers as he fought with his own mind on how he felt. Was he terrified? Was the overwhelming amount of ticklish sensations about to course through his body like an electric current terrifying? Or was he excited? That after all these years of begging and pleading for someone to come into his life and do this very thing to him? 

 Virgil didn’t have time to decide, as Roman promptly dug in.

 Virgil said he wanted to scream, and scream he did. His body was too overwhelmed to even thrash at this point, no, it merely fell limp and took every bit of torture Roman was giving to it. Roman took his pointer finger and thumb, making them into a claw motion, and pinching all over the bone. He pinched up and down, left to right, and repeated the sequence, soaking in every plea and beg and cry from Virgil. He wiggled in between the bone, and even took to scratching the armpits as well. Virgil was happily losing his mind. But it wasn’t over.

 No, because out of nowhere, Roman pulled from under the bed a bottle of oil, and immediately began pouring it into his hands. Virgil greedily sucked in the oxygen as he waited for Roman to start again. His eyes followed him, watching Roman complete his moves with an eagerness about him. He was ready.

 Virgil only had to wait a minute longer before Roman took his sweet time, slowly covering every inch of both armpits in the slippery liquid, purposely sliding his fingers and nails in such a way to make Virgil start to laugh. And then with both hands, he dug in again. 

 Oh, if he thought it was bad before, no, this was true torture. The oil made the fingers glide pristinely on the sensitive skin, and thereby ticking seemingly everywhere at once. Roman still concentrated on squeezing both top rib bones on either side at the same time, while allowing the nails to scratch along the armpits and other ribs as he did it. 

 And Virgil screamed. He screamed and screamed louder than he had ever before. He couldn’t even be concerned at the fact they were living in an apartment, and if they neighbors would be worried. Virgil screeched at the top of his lungs, his voice no longer even saying words or please at this point, just pure unshackled ecstasy in waves unmeasurable. He screamed and laughed his voice hoarse, kicking and tugging in desperation to escape the torture he was being subjected to.

 “So,” commented Roman nonchalantly, yet very loudly to be heard over the booming laughter. “I was wondering if you could give me a quick performance review. You know, it is my first time and all.”

 “AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-“

 “Okay, so that’s not too bad. Anything else?”

 Virgil silently screamed as he felt Roman vibrate his fingers into both bones once more.

 “Oh good! Well, I appreciate your input, thank you.”

 Virgil was loving every solitary second of this, after all, this is what he had wanted. He wanted exactly this. But, unfortunately, he needed to breathe. So he called out.

 “YEL-“ he stopped mid screech, his own laughter cutting him off. Roman stopped immediately. 

 “Was that yellow?” he asked, face contorting with worry. Virgil didn’t answer at first, only focused on taking in as much oxygen as he could get. 

 “Yeheheah,” he replied, the leftover giggles still dying out.

 Roman’s evil ler face melted as a fond one replaced it. “Wow, I’m impressed. That’s definitely your death spot, and you only called out yellow. I could never last as long as you did,” he marveled. 

 Even with as winded as Virgil was, he was still trying to tease back. “Oho, so you have a death spot, then?” he teased with a smirk. Roman blushed.

 “Oh shut up. Just so you know, you still technically haven’t called red yet,” he retorted cockily. Virgil nodded before laying his head down for a minute to rest. “Do you want water?” Roman asked him. 

 Virgil shook his head. “No, I’m almost done. I’d rather not get up then get back down.” His insatiable lee mood was shrinking drastically. But, there was one more thing he wanted. “So, um,” he looked up at Roman sheepishly. “Can I do a request?” 

 Roman smiled fondly. “Of course. This is your session after all.” 

 Virgil fidgeted as much as he could despite his hands being tied. “So, I kind of have a favorite spot. Like, after you tickled me. I realized I might have a favorite.”

 Roman’s heart practically burst on the spot. “Oh yeah? Let me hear it.”

 Virgil wrinkled his nose in embarrassment, and stayed quiet for a minute. Roman chuckled. “Come on little lee, I can’t help you out if you don’t ask,” he cooed, gently spidering his fingers on the tops of his feet, making him let out a quick giggle at the touch. 

 “Ohohokay, okay. Um,” he looked away bashfully. “Can you go back to, back to my stomach? You, you can tease. Too. If you want, or whatever,” he added quickly, still refusing to look Roman in the eye. Roman beamed.

 “Why, I would love to.”

 Roman sat down next to Virgil, and actually undid his cuffs, much to Virgil’s surprise. “Alright, now keep your arms up,” he whispered, sending a pink flush to his cheeks. 

 “W-what?” he giggled shyly. Roman poked his tummy. 

 “You heard me. You gotta keep them up aaaaall by yourself.” 

 Virgil giggled again, and cautiously raised his arms above his head and gripped the headboard. “Okay, I’m ready.” 

 Roman nodded with a smile and began lightly skittering his fingernails all over Virgil’s quivering tummy. Virgil immediately burst into soft, sweet giggles, the ones he could probably stop if he tried, but definitely didn’t want to, and rocked back and forth onto the bed. Roman kept the fingers teasing his sides gently, then lifted up his shirt slightly and started peppering cute little kisses all over the pale skin. Virgil squealed lightly and giggled slightly harder at the wonderfully maddening feeling, drinking in every bit of feeling he could. 

 Finally after about ten minutes, Virgil slowly lowered his arms from the headboard and Roman stopped. Overwhelming exhausted overcame him like an ocean and he yawned. “Thank you, Roman. This was the best day of my life.” Roman smiled at the compliment.

 “Why I’m so happy it was, Virgil. We will certainly do it again.” He stood up to leave, but Virgil grabbed his arm. 

 “Stay with me?” he asked, pulling on his arm like a child. Roman chuckled.

 “Of course.”

 And the two of them napped together, each so peaceful and happy in that they found each other, and waking up wondering if it was all just a dream.

[spongebob-connoisseur]

No clue if this has been brought up yet but "canonically" Camp Coral doesn't even make sense. In the preview image we see Little Sandy. But Spongebob only met her in the OG show, in S1, so he CAN'T have met her in Camp Coral. And Squidward, Krabs and Plankton are, like, WAY OLDER than Spongebob, Patrick & Sandy. How are they all little kids. HOW. THIS SHOW IS A MESS.

*this will contain mild spoilers of the new spongebob movie*

Yeah camp coral doesn't make sense. I think the team that worked on it knows since I heard something about when the mini series comes out they'll address the continuity error with how Spongebob met Sandy and the others.

I still think it's a bit weird. Tbh the show rarely has continuity and often walks all over itself when it comes to it. Episodes that are supposed to be call backs or references to older episodes has spongebob acting like he has amnesia when encountering.

I remember watching the episode doodle dimension. I was super interested since doodle bob was supposed to return. I was expecting Spongey to have a confrontation with doodlebob but he didn't recognize him at all.

There are times where characters go over themselves and changing things. Like there was an episode where spongebob and patrick were talking about knowing each other in and out because that's what best friends do and Spongebob knew a lot about Patrick but Patrick didn't know much about spongebob. Spongebob tries to help him out by telling him things he likes like his favorite color and flavor of ice cream and it went against what the show shown as canon? Favorite color. Though not explicitly stated has been shown he occasionally gravitated towards mint green colored things. Weird detail but especially in season 1 I've noticed. But in the episode it was stated beige which is unusual. And his favorite flavor of ice cream was vanilla despite often having pink (I'm assuming strawberry or jellyfish jelly flavored) ice cream. The theme was that he picked basic things as his favorite. Basic flavor, basic color. Boring because he's a square (literally and figuratively) but it went against things he's shown to often choose in the show.

Its a weird thing to nitpick especially since it wss never explicitly said but often these things were told more visually and then explicitly stating the opposite is weird. Have we ever seen him like or use the color beige? Or him having vanilla ice cream? It's never.

Those things don't really matter but the show has a weird problem with continuity and a lot of things that were canon in the early seasons usually got retconned by the later ones. There isn't much we can do so usually I like to imagine different eras of spongebob being different characters because there are qualities I enjoy of each version but I don't really consider them the same. This doesn't mean classic vs modern because I will still strongly think season 1 spongebob is wildly different from season 3.

I'm getting off topic. Camp coral however is really taking things that were explicitly shown in the series and changing it. I don't really agree with the series but I still want to watch it and see what its about but its weird.

I watched the new spongebob movie and the camp coral stuff is less than 5 minutes of the actual movie.

It's towards the end where spongebob was supposed to get executed by king Poseidon and everyone was pleading their case on why he shouldn't get killed. Talking about how much of a wonderful friend spongebob is which is where they reference camp coral and we see flashbacks of it. It's odd and felt forced because its crazy they didn't need to add flashbacks or camp coral. My friend suggested it would have been cooler if they did CGI animated shots of moments of where spongebob actually met the characters. Which I mean?? Imagine that. Would have been a dream.

The actual scene with Sandy was rushed and felt so weird? Especially for the moment. I don't know how to explain but it was forced.

Sandy: I want to be a scientist but I can't because I'm a squirrel..

Spongebob: sandy you can be whatever you want to be!

Sandy: wow really????

And we leave the flashback saying she never forgot that so my idea that maybe they forgot about the camp coral thing hence why they didn't remember each other as adults but she does remember.

Though the one thing I did kinda like about the flashback was Sandy having a mind boggling experience when she realized she can be a squirrel and a scientist and we have a little montage that felt really season 1.

Patrick's doesn't make sense either considering it's canon that spongebob and patrick knew each other since they were babies.

Squidward is indeed canonly older than Spongebob but also could work? Depends. Maybe spongebob was in the youngest age group and squidward was the older group? But the movie showed them close in age. Idk I worked at a summer camp before and let me tell you, Squidward's attitude suits the older group of kids a bit too well which is funny.

Mr. Krabs in the movie was just a guy who worked serving food at camp coral. He was fresh out of the navy. Still had his armor abs. This doesn't work in canon because we know Spongebob's parents went to the Krusty krab before spongey was born meaning it was open before he was born too.

But camp coral portrays him as fresh out of the navy and selling krabby patties to the camp kids and now being the first time spongebob has a krabby patty? Weird.

Plankton doesn't have any memories of spongebob at camp coral in the movie so I don't know what he is doing and his place in the mini series.

Another issue I do have with camp coral is that it doesn't make sense. We all know that Stephen Hillenburg didn't want spinoffs of the characters, specifically baby versions of them. We know he did accepted camp coral in the end so I'm not going to dispute that. But I'm going to elaborate why he didn't want such a thing in the first place and why it was mentioned.

He didn't really want spinoffs because it would easily mess up the dynamics of the characters. Spongebob as a concept of a goofy childish grown adult isn't a new idea. It was an idea inspired by a lot of old Hollywood characters and movies. The goofy quirky adult with childish tendencies and happy all the time. It looses it's point if you made him completely a child. The characters in the show are each originally meant to bring out specific parts of spongebob's original nerdy and goofy personality. A lot of that stuff was lost with time for sure but the first season it really showed. And I don't mean this as modern episodes bad since classic episodes did this. Season 3 did sacrifice a bit of his personality for comedy. It wasn't noticeable since it took the show's original more calmer down to earth tone and made it more hilarious but some of it was still lost.

Originally Stephen Hillenburg fought nickelodeon to keep Spongebob an adult. The compromise was to put him in boating school however he was always meant to be an adult.

It is mentioned the network wanted to make Spongebob the under water Hey Arnold!

Which also makes me think with Nickelodeon's growing popularity and the way they mass marketed spongebob in the early 2000s. They would have done it with any show if it wasn't Spongebob. They always were greedy but it wasn't noticeable until spongebob came around.

The mini series camp coral is still something I want to see. The team worked hard on it and I'm not paying for it anyways lol but for real I'm curious how it'll turn out. Tbh I don't like young spongebob's voice but I'll still give it a shot.

I already have a camp coral plush so I might as well👁👁

[allthefilmsiveseenforfree]

Nomadland

I’m even less informed than I usually am going into this year’s Oscars race because I haven’t spent 3 days a week inside movie theaters for over a year now (the way I did previously). So all I knew about Nomadland is that it’s winning everything and I’ve loved Frances McDormand since Fargo. What I didn’t realize was that this tale of Fern (McDormand) and the community she belongs to of migratory workers who travel across the US in their vans, campers, and trucks is based on a 2017 book by journalist Jessica Bruder. Bruder investigates the phenomenon of these nomads, who in many cases are older adults who lost everything during the housing crisis and recession of 2008. Now, 12 years later, some of those same nomads are featured in this film, which is not fiction but not non-fiction either, but more of an embellished pseudo-memoir, in which Fern’s story may as well be the story of dozens of others who have taken to the road to survive in a country that no longer has the infrastructure or social safety net to support them. 

Chloe Zhao’s direction is tightly focused on the very human details of Fern’s life while also becoming expansive when it needs to. The cinematography depicts the American West in lush blues and purples at twilight, the landscape so big it seems to swallow Fern whole. This is a beautifully shot film that feels universal and simultaneously deeply personal. The stories of so many Americans around the campfire are the driving force of the nomad existence, so full of personal loss, and the losses to end stage capitalism. It’s devastating to see all these elders - the youngest in the camp looks to be 40s at minimum - scratching and scrabbling and having to turn to each other because there is no infrastructure to protect them. And they’re all full of grit and determination and that rugged tough-as-nails demeanor that the America conservatives want us to return to was built on. In many ways the film showcases the most alluring parts of the American myth of exceptionalism while also showcasing the horrifying cost of carving out a piece of that myth for yourself. 

But make no mistake, there is great joy in Fern and the life she’s chosen for herself. I love seeing these moments of joy: her spa day with Linda, line dancing with Dave, watching animals get fed at the zoo. This life is hard and grueling but it contains freedom and beauty as well. There’s a very good dog who makes a brief appearance. [Edit: there are MANY good dogs in this film. Nomads like their dogs and keep them nearby.] And more than just her experiences, I love that Fern is a people person. She reaches out and makes connections everywhere she goes, and people reach out to HER as well, wanting to provide help and resources. She makes a point to say she is not homeless, she is houseless and it becomes clear throughout the film that, even if she hadn’t lost everything she might have chosen this life for herself. It’s interesting the shift over time as you get to know Fern better - you think that the fall of Empire is what pushed her to the nomad lifestyle, when in fact it seems it was within her all along, and the loss of her husband and her town is what finally allowed her to become the freest version of herself. 

Much has been made of Amazon’s involvement in the film, and the uncritical view of the seasonal gig economy that Fern and her friends rely on in order to survive. A nation that relies on transient labor, that does not provide health care or shelter or consistently provides for the needs of its people - ALL its people - is one that is doomed to fail. And it’s that “ALL the people” part that keeps nagging at me. I have to wonder who is being left out of the nomad story - I notice that the vast majority of the folks Fern meets on the road are white. I know the nomads live a hard life, and a life of poverty, but theirs is also a life of nearly unimaginable freedom, and it seems that the only people who have access to that freedom are those who always had it in the first place. 

Did I Cry? When Linda told Fern about her lowest point, I got teary. When Swankie told Fern about why she was taking her trip, I choked up. But when Bob talked about his son, I sobbed. This movie made me feel a lot of big things and made me think about even bigger ones. France McDormand is the exact right person to play this role and the nomads around her (played by real nomads interviewed in Bruder’s book!) lend a real sense of warmth and connection to every scene. I can’t recommend watching this movie highly enough. 

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[darklingichor]

The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton *Major Spoilers*

I did not plan to revisit this one because I still have it mostly memorized from when I read it over and over as a teenager.

I loved this book so much, even though my life was worlds away from Ponyboy's, I related to him.

This is probably the most influential book I've ever read. I found out it was written when S.E. Hinton was a teen and I thought "Maybe I can do it too."

I soon found that I was far too sensitive to let people read what I wrote, I couldn't get around the idea of pouring part of myself into something and having someone tell me it sucks.

Now, I realize that's pretty rich considering this blog, but I couldn't do it as a kid and even now it feels a little like saying "please judge my spleen for your liking. If it is found lacking, by all means throw it in the shredder. Fear not, I will feel every cut."

This is why very few people have ever read my fiction.

That's also why, with a couple of exceptions I try to be very respectful of every book I read.

Anyway, what made me return to The Outsiders was that I discovered that there was a 50th anniversary edition. This hardcover has extras, my finger was hitting buy before I even registered it.

So, reread it for the first time in a long time.

I sank into the sweet nostalgia of the story. Reading this book is like sliding on a well worn pair of jeans. This book introduced me to Robert Frost.

I taught myself to type using the poem "Nothing Gold Can Stay" because I had it memorized and would never get tired of it.

I still love the friendships and family bonds presented in the story. I still got a knot in my throat when Johnny died and Dally lost everything. I cried when Ponyboy found Johnny's letter. By God, but I still love this book.

I did notice that some things hit differently now than they did even when I read it once in my 20's.

The first thing I noticed is akin to when you watch The Little Mermaid as an adult and Arial says that she's sixteen and not a kid

and you laugh out loud because, girl, you are a zygote, shush!

When Cherry says to Ponyboy, she could fall in love with Dallas Winston so she hopes she never sees him m again. When I was a kid reading this,familar with The Breakfast Club, Grease, etc, this seemed like a natural statement.

Now? My first thought was "Oh honey, you're more screwed up than I remembered." Because from their first interaction, Cherry would fall in love with a catcalling construction worker.

Ponyboy says that Dallas said something "Really filthy".  In the movie, he asks Cherry howhe was suppose to know if her hair was really red, like her eyebrows were. A roundabout way of asking if the carpet matches the drapes. Bad enough and in the context of the 1960's that might have been dirty enough to be censored from the orginal manuscript, but I always imagined it was worse than that.

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, after all, Dally wasn't so much a step up or down from Bob, as a step to the side.

Honestly when I was fourteen and reading this for the first time, I didn't think much of Cherry, I thought she was fake, and very stupid. She was older than me, but I knew it was massively fucked up not to admit she dated a bad guy.

  I see her as sad now, and she's a much darker character She's painted as someone with integrity, someone with principles.

She wouldn't take a Coke from Dally.

She tells Bob that it's her or the booze.

Won't take a pop from a hood, threatens to break it off with her boyfriend if he continues to drink. Okay, understandable.

Realize he beat the tar out of, and pschologically scarred a kid for kicks?

He was sweet sometimes.

What?

He was something special.

She says to the kid he and his friends attempted to murder. 

"He wasn't just any boy."

Right you are, Cherry. Incidentally, did you have any pets disappear while you dated him?

She's a mixed up girl.

I had many a head cannon for the characters in this book when I first read it.

I thought Ponyboy would grow up to be a writer, Darryl would open his own roofing business, Soda and Steve would work for him while fixing cars on the side. Two-Bit would work with them when he felt like it, or he would end up hitching to California to be a stand-up comic.

I thought Cherry would end up married to someone who worked for her father, who I imagined was a lawyer.

After this read through? I adjusted that future.

We met Randy again in That was Then, This Is Now. He's a hippie, which makes perfect sense. I see Cherry running off to Haight Ashbury. I don't get farther than losing sight of her red hair on a crowded, sunny sidewalk, but I get the same spooky vibe I always got after reading Rumble Fish.

Something else that hit differently, the relationships between the boys.

It hit differently for me because I know now why I love it so much.

I remember being  in a major reading slump before I picked up this book. See, I couldn't get into the books that were marketed to me. I wasn't in to RL Stine, except for the history of Fear Street books. I couldn't get into Christopher Pike at all.

I was reading mysteries and westerns, but I really wanted something that had people my age in it that wasn't a romance or sick lit. I'd read enough of those, and I thought that if I read one more book where boy meets girl then one of them croaks I would scream.

So I went to my mom's bookshelf, and found her copy.

I really loved that the real connections that are focused on, are between friends and family. These connections were not treated as being less than a romantic relationship. In fact, just the opposite, the gang see each other as their cement relationships. Soda and his girlfriend Sandy break up, he's hurt and it adds to an already rough time, but it is not a focus.

I suppose it could be argued that the reason for the lack of focus on romance has to do with the fact that Pony states that he's not thinking of it yet. But seeing how all of the gang look out for each other from Darryl keeping the Curtis's door unlocked in case one of the boys needed a place to crash, to everyone looking out for Johnny, to Johnny staying with Pony when he was upset after his fight with Darry, and looking out for him when they were in hiding, to Dallas helping them find a place to go after Bob was killed, to Pony sticking by Johnny after the killing, to Two-Bit sticking up for Johnny when his mother came to the hospital  and how broken up he was when Ponyboy got sick, and finally how one of Johnny's last acts was to write Ponyboy a letter that he hoped would help both Pony and Dallas.

These are not friendships that end when everyone starts dating.

This seems like a "duh" statement, but you have to think, so many things show friendships as training wheels. Something you use until you reach the next level and find a romantic partner. And, maybe this was just my small town, but that was very much the way things went around me, it was expected.

It was great to read a book about kids around my age who didn't see friendships as inferior to romantic relationships.

Now, knowing that I'm Aro Ace, I think I liked it because it spoke to what I thought was important without making it seem like something I needed to grow out of.

The extras were cool, letters between the author and the editors when the book was in the works, letters from the actors who played Pony, Johnny, Soda, Dallas, and Randy.

It was interesting to read the actors' feelings about characters they played so early in their careers. I was half hoping Matt Dillon would apologize for choking on, and embodying that gigantic piece of ham during the death scene, but one can't get everything in life.

I could read the other SE Hinton books, and talk about the connections between them, but I will likely skip That was Then, This is Now and Rumble Fish.

See, I didn't like That Was Then This Is Now very much when I first read it. A big reason? I didn't like Bryon. There was just something about the character that rubbed me the wrong way.

He's... I don't know... he's like Two-Bit without the charm. Plus, Ponyboy is featured, but Bryon hates him. It seems out of jelousy because of all the stuff that had happened in The Outsiders. And he hates him even more *because* he's quiet about it. I get distancing the last book from the next and that was an effective way of doing it, but when I was younger it just made me not like the character all the more.

I've read it a few times since I was younger, wondering if it would improve as I aged. It didn't.

Bryon is still mostly unlikeable. Plus, I grew up in the Frying an Egg, Diving into an Empty Swimming Pool, DARE, era of drug awareness. The whole book felt like a PG-13 version of The Buttercream Gang. Now that I have sufficiently aged myself...

Rumble Fish, I loved, but like I said, it's an unsettling story and one that left me oddly unsatisfied.

I really enjoyed the next two, Tex and Taming the Star Runner so I may revisit those.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #451

“taste the waste of their god’s grace & spit your hate upon your young”

Who are you subscribed to on YouTube? A shitload of people. Do you like to go to the farmer's market? Yeah, sure. What will (or was) the color of your wedding dress be? Probably black. What's your favorite melon? I don't really like melons, actually. What was the name of the last pet of yours that died? Teddy. :( When was the last time you wished the day would just get over with? Literally every day. Seriously. It's funny, I dread fighting to sleep at night, but I also just want it to be time to sleep so time will pass. My life is just so fucking boring that I just... wait for something exciting to happen. Name one person you've never had a fight with: Tez. What are you currently listening to? "Sex Metal Barbie" by In This Moment. What would you rather have: cat or dog? I prefer cats. Who is your least favorite person in real life? Probably my sister's husband. Do you ever watch anybody's live stream of... anything, really? I'll sometimes watch live let's plays. Does your house have security cameras? No. If you go grey as you age, would you dye your hair or let it be? I'll be dyeing it. What was the last establishment you stopped going to due to bad service? What happened? I'm not sure. What soundtrack do you listen to the most? Silent Hill 2's, definitely. Was there a family secret you weren’t told about until you were an adult? I don't know if it's really a secret, but I didn't know until this year that my dad did some really dangerous drugs before us kids were born. Do you have an opinion most people you meet seem to disagree with you? Yes. What’s something you like to have many options to choose from? Food, ha ha. Feels great to have a full kitchen after a grocery trip. What’s the strangest decorative object you own? Nothing "strange" to me. What’s a thing you couldn’t imagine doing with your life right now? One biggie is having a baby. I just... could not imagine. My life would plummet. What’s been your proudest moment? Graduating in the top percentile in my high school graduating class. What’s the filthiest non-pornographic movie you’ve seen? Omfg, Sausage Party. That movie was so gross. Do you know anyone who doesn't seem to be fond of animals? Thankfully, no. I don't even think I could befriend someone who doesn't like animals. Are you planning any outings or trips anytime soon? Whereabouts? No. Do you know anyone who has a phobia of a certain animal? Yeah, like me with whale sharks. Is there a particular brand of technology/electronics that you prefer? Not really, no. Is there a singer whose voice gives you goosebumps/chills? Amy Lee's. And is there a singer whose voice you simply can't stand? Yeah, such as Bob Dylan. Are there any authors that are particularly dominant on your bookshelf? Tui T. Sutherland, but only because I read their series Wings of Fire. Have you seen any photographs or videos that made you smile today? I'm sure on Facebook at some point. Which item in your fridge are you most looking forward to consuming? Does the freezer count? If so, this Healthy Choice grilled chicken pesto bowl I have in there. I am like addicted to them. Has anyone you know got into a new relationship lately? I don't know. If you menstruate, do you experience much PMS prior to it? It varies month-to-month. Have you ever had a tattoo covered up or added to? I had my Markiplier tattoo essentially redone by a better artist. I also plan on getting my "ohana" tat covered, as well as my "how rare and beautiful it is to even exist" one (I adore the quote, but it's not an original design, which I don't like having anymore), and I want to move and redesign my "perfectly flawed" one because I want a bigger tattoo in its location. Can you remember the last time you had a sudden change of mind? Yeah; I'm pretty sure I like-like my friend Girt now, something I was never entirely sure about. When was the last time you did something on a whim? *shrug* Were you raised by both of your parents? If not, then who raised you? Well, I guess both, but Dad didn't do a lot of the teaching part about life and stuff. Have you ever began a relationship with someone you knew for less than a week? No. Has one of your friends ever tried to ‘hook you up?’ Yes. Colleen tried that with me and Girt and only succeeded in making us very uncomfortable. She said something I wanted to slap her for that I won't repeat. What is your card game of choice? Magic: The Gathering. What is your favourite books series? I think my favorite series of all time was the Shiloh trilogy. I adored both the books and movies. Do you prefer landmarks or street names when being given directions? You'd better give me landmarks, ha ha. Do you read the prologues in the beginnings of books? Of course. What was your favourite gym class moment? There're such things as GOOD gym memories in school? Do you think that ocean boardwalks are fun? Yes. Do you dread when people ask you to sign their yearbooks? No, I always thought it was very flattering that they even wanted mine. Do you have a favourite Scooby-Doo movie? The Phantom Virus one. I had the video game as a kid, too. Could never beat the damn thing. Do you think it’s cute when toddlers try to run away and fall down? No? I don't like seeing children - or anyone - fall. Do you enjoy listening to your grandparents tell stories of their past? So, this really only happened once, and it was coincidentally the day I learned of her pancreatic cancer, but before Mom told me. I had an assignment to interview someone of an older generation about how various sources of media affected their lives, like the development of TV and such, and she really got into it. It was very interesting to learn about. Do you have a crush on someone? I guess I do idfk. If so... what does his/her name begin with? "D." What attracts you to them? More than anything, the fact he's been there for me without fail. Both single and when I was with Jason and he was interested in me, he's just... been there and has made an effort since high school to be in my life in one way or another. Do they know that you like them? Not anymore, no. We dated for a few months, but I broke up with him because he felt more like my brother, so I would assume he doesn't think I do. Maybe he still is family to me. I really don't know what I feel. If they don't know, why didn't you tell them? I might at some point, idk. We just haven't talked in a while. Name two people that you miss: Jason and Megan. Have you ever seen Titanic? When I was in the hospital, yes. Everyone was crying, lmao. Have you ever swam with dolphins? No, but I would. When was the last time you had a stomachache? Now. Mother Nature finally visited me after three whole fucking months and is v angry. What's going to bed early for you? Like 7:00. Do you want to have a big family in the future? Of pets! Human kids ain't for me. What was the last thing you did that gave you a rush? Hell if I know. Favorite Nicholas Cage movie? Ghost Rider. Have you had your Covid vaccine yet? Which one, if you have? Yes. I got Moderna. If you've had your vaccine, did you experience any side effects? I did on my second dosage. I was OUT of it the day afterwards, but then I was fine. What's the next item of clothing that you intend to buy for yourself? I need new bras badly. What Facebook groups have you found the most helpful? It's called "Not Just A Pet Rock (Python regius)" and is a group for advanced ball python husbandry. It is very informative, but I will say there is a SHITLOAD of very rude elitists. Do you like your butt? Why or why not? NO because it's a PANCAKE and I want CAKE. Have you ever personally been a victim of homophobia? I personally think so. When Sara visited and we were trying to go to my older sister's so she especially could meet her, Ash entirely ignored Mom's messages. I know her homophobic husband well enough to nearly be able to guarantee he didn't want us coming over because the kids "don't need to see that." Ash kinda does what Nick says, so... you know. Do you think you’d be happier if you had a pet? I know I'm happier with pets. Who was the last person you went on a date with? Sara. Were you ever hospitalized as a little kid? No. What’s your favorite way to curl your hair? It's too short to do that. At what age did you start swearing? However old I was in 7th grade. What is something you physically can’t do? Clean up vomit lkdsjal;sdkjfa;lkwd. I can't clean up my pet's or even my own. I literally can't. My mom has to. What do like better, apples or oranges? Apples. I don't like oranges. Around the holidays, do you hope for snow? Yes!!! What are your top two favorite bands? Ozzy Osbourne and Metallica. How many people do you 100% trust? Like two. Maybe. Do you care what others think about you? Way too much. Has anyone ever called you a bitch? My grandmother has. Did you watch Teletubbies when you were younger? Omg yes, I was obsessed. Do you have any licenses other than your driver's license? I don't even have that. Could you live the rest of your life without eating meat? No. Not because I don't want to, because I do, but I would have an extreme protein deficit if I did that. Besides meat, I don't like enough protein-rich foods. Have you ever had a rolling backpack? Yes. Did you make any money today? I haven't made any money in a very, very long time. I'm only ever paid when someone hires me to take pictures for them. What was the highest place you've ever jumped from? I don't know. Definitely not very high. Have you ever gone swimming in a river? Yes. What was the last souvenir someone got you? I have zero clue. Do you have a favorite remix of a song? Hm. Perhaps this techno-y remix of "Psychosocial" by Slipknot. I don't know for sure, though. What do you think is the most saddest sounding instrument? Either the violin or piano. Do you really pay attention to the ratings on movies? Nope. Do you have a favorite species of wild cat (tiger/lion/cougar/etc.)? Probably clouded leopards aesthetics, but I think lions overall. If you had $500,000, what would you do with it? Pay off school debt as well as help Mom with various financial issues, buy new glasses, buy Mom and I a new house and car, get Venus a great tank with all the optimal supplies, get LOADS of tattoos, donate to various charities, adopt a few specific pets, travel to Yellowstone, get laser hair removal on my legs and teeth whitening... There are a lot of possibilities. Did the last person you touched lips with have a kid? Just scaly ones. :') "First loves are never really over." Is this true for you? Yeeeep... Did you like Michael Jackson before he died? I didn't really have an opinion on him. I know/like a couple songs, sure. What are some things that would make you break up with someone? If they became abusive, started doing drugs, acted arrogantly, didn't understand my mental conditions and were unwilling to be emotionally supportive, stuff like that. What was the worst breakup you've ever had? Ha, the one with Jason. For. Fucking. Sure.