#also yet this is a flying tiger

[wonderwomemes]

They did it

They killed Santa

[drachliebe]

what if taba's species of dragon had horns

[sixosix]

SOMETHING HAPPENS | XIAO

summary verr goldet and huai'an playing matchmaker, basically

warnings wc 1.7k, this fic is xiao pretty much watching over reader in his very xiao way so if you’re not into stalking elements pls don’t read LMFAO + xiao having a crushhh

You’ve felt the looming presence of someone watching you ever since you’ve set foot in Liyue.

It wasn’t anything sudden—in fact, no ordinary human being would have noticed it. But you’ve been trained to deal with all sorts of animals, from wild Rishboland Tigers down to slippery Red-Tailed Lizards. You could sense the tiniest snap of twigs and freshly fallen leaves that could have only occurred from an interference.

And having dealt with animals for so long, you can safely conclude that whatever has been following you for the past ten days is definitely not an animal. If it were, it would’ve been some skilled predator that somehow disappears into thin air when you steal a glimpse. The only possible trace you could find is the barely discernible mark on the dirt.

It also helped your Vision gave you the blessing of being attuned to the wind and the shift of air from a heavy presence.

You thought you’d be dead by the fifth day of your stay—murdered by this newly-acquired stalker of yours, but nothing happened. You asked (politely, with a please) this person to reveal themselves and save you both the trouble, but nothing happened.

You even went as far as to throw yourself into the first hilichurl camp you saw to see if anything happened, yet while you were defending yourself against one, all of them fell to the ground limp once you turned back to them. You search for more camps nearby, but they’ve all been cleared—and all of them were freshly beaten as if your stalker made quick work once they figured out what you were up to.

“It’s hard to tell if you’re out to protect me instead of murdering me if you don’t show yourself,” you say to the empty field, hoping for at least one answer, but nothing happens.

You suppose all that matters is that it’s hard to feel lonely with the constant presence.

“You been hanging around Wangshu Inn lately?” asks the man you went up to. It is in case you weren’t alone in what seemed to be the beginning plot of a horror movie. At your reluctant nod, he snorts, “Well, aren’t you a lucky one? Or perhaps it’s the complete opposite if you’ve been up to no good and disrespected an Adeptus.”

You don't understand what this man’s point is. You’ve briefly heard of the term ‘Adepti’ floating around Liyue, but you’re not quite sure if it’s one person or something else entirely. Have you done something to offend any deities in Liyue? All you’ve really been up to is researching the wildlife and tracking down the stalker. 

“What does Wangshu Inn have to do with this?”

“Why don’t you ask and find out yourself?”

You frown. “It would save me hours if you just tell me now.”

“I already told you what I know, kid,” says the man to you, a full-grown adult. “But I suppose I can let you in on one secret: you’ve piqued the interest of someone.”

This man is crazy.

You sigh. You’ve only been hanging around Wangshu Inn for shelter, but the sun is setting a little too fast, and the warm lights and delicious aroma of their food are starting to speak to you—you suppose there is no other way.

Making your way up to an inn has never been more interesting.

While walking, you belatedly realize that you feel the presence of the stranger again. It’s stronger than before, says the winds, and they never lie with what they touch as they fly by.

You also take it upon yourself to ask the merchants and customers alike, calling yourself new and curious as to what they know about the Adeptus lingering around Wangshu Inn.

“An Adeptus? All I know is that this inn is hiding a mysterious secret, but none of us have really gotten to a point where we found more about it.”

A secret.

You’d really prefer if the man you met before weren’t lying, as you would want your stalker to at least be some sort of god than an ordinary human being who has been watching you for no other reason.

You mull this information in your head as you climb up the inn. And then your limbs lock in place once you hear a voice. It speaks to you, for some unknown reason—as if the winds have quieted down to make you listen. You’re not sure if it’s the rasp or the absolute command his voice demands that gets to you, but—

“The next person to come here will ask about me. You will say you know nothing about my whereabouts.”

Then, a new, feminine voice speaks up. It breaks the brief trance you’ve been under. “…Is this the same person you’ve been watching over for the past two weeks, Adeptus Xiao?”

Adeptus Xiao. Watching over…?

Yet when you pick up pace and hurry to the counter, it’s just a woman alone, wide-eyed as she looks at you as if you were the one acting stranger.

“Sorry,” you blurt. “I’m, ah… I thought…”

Were you really just imagining that? No. That’s impossible.

The lady smiles. “I’ve seen you around the Inn recently. My name is Verr Goldet, the boss here at Wangshu Inn.”

“Oh, yes, nice to meet you.” Embarrassed, you choose to stare at the cat resting on the edge of her desk. You wonder if that cat can sense your distress; it’s blinking up at you innocently, surely the eyes of someone who has witnessed what you’ve missed. “My name’s Y/N, and I wanted to book a room…”

Verr Goldet brightens, but you suppose anyone receiving a customer would be, too. “I see. Have you considered the room on our highest floor?”

“Not…really?”

She hums, then smiles like she's letting you in on a little secret. “You should. If not, then at least consider climbing up the stairs and see the view for yourself. Most of my customers book rooms solely for that reason.”

That does sound appealing, and you have time to spare. “I will; thank you for the suggestion.”

Pleased, Verr Goldet turns to her desk to assumably book you a room. In the silence, you find your voice, “Hey, boss.”

You look up, and Verr Goldet’s eyes are sparkling. “Hm, yes? Oh, your expression looks terrified.” She laughs, sliding a key across the desk and urging you to take it. “I’m just used to correcting people who call me ‘boss lady’. What was your question?”

“Well, I’m pretty new, and—I’ve heard something interesting about this place.”

“There are a lot of rumors about this place. You’d have to be more specific.”

She might either kick you out from where you’re standing or understand what you’re about to say. “Well, ever since I arrived here at Wangshu Inn I always felt like I was being watched over… and then a man I met outside from here told me that there’s an Adeptus nearby?”

“I see. So you’ve met my husband,” she smiles knowingly. “You’re not from Liyue, aren’t you?” You shake your head. “Usually, no one knows about this, but my husband must’ve caught it, too. You’re looking for Adeptus Xiao, and I have noticed that he’s been lingering a lot more recently. More so than usual—I’ve concluded it’s ever since you arrived.”

“Should I be scared?” Because you’re not. Your heart is pounding. It’s a little messed up, but the thought of someone so highly esteemed having noticed you sends a thrill down your spine.

“Of course not. Xiao is the slayer of demons—he keeps Liyue and, most notably, this Inn safe from harm. Of course, I can’t blame your curiosity: no one else has seen Xiao with their own eyes.”

“Am I correct in assuming my stalker could be this Adeptus?”

Verr Goldet laughs. “Why don’t you head up and find out?”

Breathtaking is the first thought that crosses your mind as you finally reach the terrace. You can’t hold back your elated gasp seeing the place from this height—the lanterns, the people, the scenery.

And then you say, “Adeptus Xiao, are you here? Verr Goldet told me you’d be.” She didn’t say it directly, but the implications were there.

The wind shifts as a presence materializes behind you. It’s an all-too-familiar feeling. Goosebumps arise in your arms, and it’s not from the breeze. You turn, and come face-to-face with the most beautiful man you’ve ever met.

Xiao clicks his tongue, his pale skin tinted red. “I did not ask for them to resort to matchmaking.”

“You heard that? So you’re not denying that you’re the one who’s been stalking me ever so creepily?”

“Do not disrespect the Adepti with your accusations,” Xiao quickly retorts, like it’s second nature.

But you now know that one of the Adepti has a little crush on you, so you hardly care less about that at this point. “I’d say that invading my privacy is more disrespectful.”

Xiao’s silence embodies a scolded puppy.

You grin, stepping closer. It widens as Xiao stares at you warily, yet doesn’t disappear. The moonlight brings out the color on his face. He’s beautiful and acting unbelievably adorable. “It’s nice to meet you, Adeptus Xiao. Thank you for protecting me during my stay in Liyue.”

It must’ve been the sincerity in your voice that has him clearing his throat, scrambling for some sense of control again. “It’s—It’s my duty.”

“To watch over one person in particular?”

Xiao glares weakly, caught red-handed. “Do not get so presumptuous.” He says, yet he hasn’t disappeared into thin air while talking to you, unlike what Verr Goldet says usually happens. That alone says a lot.

“It’s hard not to when you look at me like that.”

Xiao visibly startles, losing his calm composure by blinking. “How do I look at y—“

“I think I’ll be staying in Wangshu Inn for a little while longer,” you voice aloud, the grin on your lips never once faltering. “I’ll be in your care, Xiao.”

Xiao cannot, in fact, handle this, as his entire face goes up in flames, and he disappears into wisps of teal and black. You’re not too worried. You can still feel his presence, the way you’re already getting used to.

A/N OH MY GOD. A XIAO FIC. FINALLY. FROM SIXOSIX. SELF-PROCLAIMED XIAO MAIN... im shaking as i post this like im so nervous. and i hate this. but out of all the xiao fics i tried to write this one has been the one i actually completed without throwing out halfway through

[mechaknight-98]

Beastmaster Bond IV (NSFW) Ft Chaehyun

Author’s note: A bit of an interlude. I saw the dress and thought. I absolutely have to do a Gala Chapter. You all can blame @somicutie08 for the intro

"I don't know Tiger I am just worried ya know," I said to Chaehyun as she wrapped her tongue around my cock. I groan at her excellent skills, as she massages my balls after a deep gag. She always seems to hit that one spot on my scrotum that makes me cum buckets every time she gives me a blow job. She looked at me with her sad pout and my heart softened because I couldn't ever tell her no.

"Rexy you just hatched a Deviljho single-handedly while everyone was stuck out of town, Facing your peers in a Gala should be easy," Chaehyun said.

I wince because she's right but dealing with people it's not the move man.

"I know I should be but that crowd is not my crowd," I responded. Chaehyun smiled and said,

"That's why you need to show up beside me, You wouldn't leave me alone would you,"

My eyes narrowed at my paramour, and her eyes widened with arousal. she loved playing into my possessive nature as it always served to get her so wet and typically gave into whatever demand she had

"I'd never," I growled. Chaehyun smiled and then said

"Great so we fly out in two and a half weeks. We will need to get you a suit here." she smiled at me knowing she had trapped me so elegantly.

“Oh, tiger before I forget I need to talk to you about something important,” I say and before I finish I feel Chaehyun’s anxiety spike. She looks at me with her scared puppy dog eyes and she does the thing she always does when she's anxious she fucks me feral until both of us black out and pass out.

The next day I woke up before her and I stared at her. She looked so peaceful but also so sexy. I caress her side as she rests and watch as she turns over to look at me with a sultry look that sets my loins on a blaze.

“Hey Rex you ready for the next round,” she says seductively.

“While I would love nothing more than to lock you in a mating press right now I think we should talk. I want to preface this by saying upfront. Nothing is wrong with us. It's just that something has happened to me and I want…no think you should know.

Chaehyun stiffens her erect nipples and stares at me as she does and she begins the lewdest display yet. She opens her legs and begins to play with herself in front of me.

"Okay Rexy but after you fill me up," she says seductively.

Tired of this game I respond with, "No I need to talk to you!"

Chaehyun looks into my eyes and moves towards me.

"Please Rexy right after my worthless pussy needs you. Aren't you gonna fill your worthless barren cumdump?" she asks. Her choice of words is concerning because I know she has been super sensitive about being barren recently.

"Chaehyun look it's not about that I..." Was all I could get out before she was on me like a predator cornering its prey. She was kissing me and pushing all my erogenous zones hoping I would discard my concerns. What she didn't count on (and to be honest neither did I. Was my lust and protectiveness combining.)

"Listen here you slut. You are a dirty slut, but you are so much more than just a cumdump. You are my mate, mine to abuse, but you do not get to talk down to yourself as only some worthless sex object. Now you are going to listen to what I have to say then I am going to breed your pretty pusy do I make myself clear slut?" I growl and command. Chaehyun's mewls as she submits to me. My Lust and protectiveness still lead me to continue. "Do you understand Slut?" I growl in a low tone, "Or will I have to leave you untouched." That sent Chaehyun out of her stupor as she nodded.

"Good. now observe." I said as I showed her the flame wisps. Her eyes went wide when she saw them, but before either of us could talk I flipped her and bent her over taking my hard cock and plunging it deep into her pussy. it was sodden and dripping a puddle under her which made entry easy because this was the most molded and fit to my dick she has ever been. I grab her pillowy tits and begin slow and power thrusts into her cunt.

"Good Girl," I cooed as ravaged her. Her moans are an excellent motivator.

"Wait, Dino. We need to talk about..." Chaehyun began. I quickly cut her off.

"You wanted me to fuck you first, you got me all riled up and I am finishing. I am breeding you and you are going to bear me children." I growled as I continued to piston into her pleasant pussy. her slick drenched my cock as I claimed her. I felt her body tense, any time I mention breeding her, her body goes into this weird but sexy catatonic state where her body milks me for all I am worth. growing tired of doggy I pull out lift her tiny body onto the bed pin her legs up above her ears and put her into mating press.

"Oh God, Breed me," Chaehyun moans. I continue to piston as her cavern squelches and tightens around me. her lower lips drool for me in a lewd mirror of the upper ones as I feel something change about this time. I can't think about it too long as I get caught up in the moment and lose control exploding into her pussy. My orgasm is violent and long as I feel like I am cumming in her for hours (it was 7 or so minutes) but I keep pounding into her. My only thought was filling her with my seed. Chaehyun moans as she climaxes calms down and climaxes again through my orgasm as I just continue to dump rope after rope after rope of cum inside her. My brain is both clear and mush at the same time when the haze of lust finally clears. Chaehyun looks at me satiated and full.

"What happened to you? You never do that?" she said

"You did that. You talking bad about yourself made me angry and horny."

"Well, maybe I should degrade myself more often because fuck, you have never cum this much." I shake my head and get back to the bed to hold her close by spooning her. She looks at my face her eyes widen.

"Oh that changed you, I changed you," she said. she grabs her phone and opens the camera and my eyes have this intense teal sclera that permeates around them. Chaehyun giggled, before saying, "Okay enough cuddles we have work we need to do." I nod and get ready for the day.

over the next week, we prepare for the Gala and I start noticing things about Chaehyun. her energy is sapped a lot easier. she is a lot more aggressive with others and snippy including with me, but also her need to fuck is increased as well, she is almost always demanding more sex. I've had to now spend entire lunch breaks just to satisfy her in addition to our morning and night rituals, and I am worried. thankfully though it doesn't cloud her judgment as she has been excellent in handling the zoo with me and making sure everything is running smoothly, and as we approach the time of the Gala her focus diverts to that.

she's taking the spearhead on most of it so I just stay in the background letting her do her thing. On one of the nights, I managed to get some time and talk to Tony.

"Hey little bro," I greet him after the zoo closes.

Tony "smiles" as he greets me but his head tilts.

"You're mate where is she?"

"She is getting things ready for an event she wants us to go to, so I figured I talk to you as she has been consuming my time a lot lately,"

"Is that wise because she is with child?" Amaterasu (She was also there cuddling with Tony.) I blink repeatedly processing what I just heard

"Oh and how do you know this?" I ask my two Magnamalo friends.

"She is going through the shift," Tony clearly says, "As have you," he adds.

I nod and then say, "Okay then I will go address that right now."

For those unaware megafauna *who only pair-bond once* (specifically females) go through a shift when they become pregnant the first time. Essentially the hormones that promote breeding triple in and their bodies become a baby-making factory for 4 cycles of gestation. this means that typically for those 3-5 years of gestation, all they want to do is breed and nurse their babies and breed again. they become hostile to any nonmale that is a non-mate or familial tie, and other females. (More so to other females) I never considered this though because she was missing the key symptom. lactation

I arrive home to tell her the news and when I arrive and open the door I smell her before I see her. I also smell the smell of cookies but more so the scent of her arousal. to me, it smells like what my brain associates comfort which is smores. her scent drives me wild I feel my cock strain in my pants as I quickly close the door. the sound of squelching in the distance is all I hear along with banshee-level moans.

"Tiger," I call out slightly frightened as to what could be waiting for me in our apartment. the response is bone-chilling.

I hear a growl and the scent begins to become even more intense.

"Rexy left me all alone, and now he's back. Rexy is going to be a good boy and let his tiger ride him right?" her voice takes on a tone I have never heard. somewhere between sultry and wildly deranged. it's as sexy as it is tense. Her eyes have the same teal sclera as mine and she radiates this intense sexual aura that is intense, to say the least. my body gives in to her demands as she approaches. My cock becomes painfully hard and starts to dump arousal into my blood. my mind begins to cloud but I try to fight it.

"Hey Tiger is everything okay?" I ask meekly.

"Yeah. I just was making cookies with ice cream because I have been having all these random cravings and just this desire for my man hit me. I couldn't help it. I have been fucking myself for hours but I can't cum. So I am going to need you and that dick of yours to finish me off." I look behind her to see a trail of her slick on the floor. She brings her hands to my head and lowers my head to be even with hers. she looks me in the eyes, and I see her eyes have become slits her pupils a dark crimson color.

"Don't worry Rexy Mommy will take good care of you," she whispers. I feel my body starting to burn arousal too. I had something I needed to tell her something important, but my memory was fading fast.

"My Rexy is trying so hard to think right now," she says as she strokes my cock. (Wait when did I get naked, when did she get on top of me? When did we get to our bedroom?)

as if hearing my thoughts Chaehyun said, "Rexy don't fight it. Mommy just wants to help her, so please give in." her words sent me over the edge and I blacked out.

The next day I woke up with my collar covered in hickeys and my back with scratch marks. My dick is still rock hard though as I look down at it I scold it.

"Can you go down would you?" but it remains hard nonetheless. I smell bacon and other breakfast foods as I get up and put some boxers on. I walk to the kitchen where Chaehyun only has an apron on, while she cooks breakfast.

"Hey, Daddy. thanks for last night you were an animal." Chaehyun said.

"I groaned and replied, "Well at least you remembered it and enjoyed it. I don't remember anything." Chaehyun smiled before saying

"You came in me four times and passed out after the fifth, but I need another round." she cooed. at that point, the brain fog cleared and I was able to tell Chae.

"Um, Tiger I think you're going through the shift," I state calmly. Chae looks at me and licks her lips

"Um, I don't think so. I am not lactating, and my sex drive hasn't increased. we fuck the same amount." She said as she was actively looking at my crotch and licking her lips. I let that slide and go for a different approach because I know if I press the issue it's going to awaken both of our prey drives and it will evolve into an argument and lead to us fucking for hours on end. We had stuff to do today and I couldn't afford to get behind. Our flight to Korea was tonight. Containing her would be exceptionally difficult. So I play her game

"Okay, do you need any help?"

"Oh thanks, Rexy but no I am pretty much done."

"Okay, I will start the dishes then."

Chaehyun smiles. She knows I hate doing them so she's pleasantly surprised I decide to. As I do the dishes Chaehyun comes from behind and lowers my boxers. My hard cock is quickly caressed by her soft hands.

"Chaehyun, please. We need to pack."

"No we need to fuck then we can pack," she says as she caresses me with her other hand.

"My marks are still present good. that will let them know you're mine," she says luridly. I groan as one of my major verbal pleasure points is her claiming me as hers.

"God yes!" I moan. "I am yours and yours alone," I affirm. Chaehyun tightens her grip on me.

"Good boy I am glad you know your place. by my side, or in me." she cooed while stroking me.

Her arousal is beginning to overwhelm my brain again. I can't afford to black out here but I want nothing more than just to breed her again and again and again. I feel her take off the apron and feel her soft body press into mine.

“Stop fighting it, join me. I know you feel the need as much as I do. Your rationality just makes you fight it. Give in to your instincts and let the animal out,” my mate whispers as she strokes me slowly. “Please I want you with me not the repressed blackout you. I want my intelligent and savage mate to ravage me. not my arousal-drunk partner,” she whispers and her hands wrap around my body, I try to stay focused but it's hard.

“Rexy embrace it stop fighting it please let it take you. You need it.” Chaehyun encourages and I start to feel my body heat up uncontrollably. I see the wisps begin to float around me.

“That's it babe be at peace with an animal inside don't fight it. Let your mind clear and your instincts guide you.” Chaehyun encourages I feel my mind breaking as this weird combination of ideas spill and proliferate through my mind

“Stop fighting give in,” Chaehyun cooed as her voice and hands got braver. My breathing hitches as I feel her envelope me,

“Don't black out stay with me Rexy embrace your instincts,” Chaehyun says as she has me nearing the edge, but before I can freefall she stops touching me. I turn and scowl at her. She smiles as she eats her breakfast. My throbbing cock is dripping precum as I stare at her enticing body. My brain is left overwhelmed by the myriad of thoughts and emotions I feel.

Chaehyun smirks at my discomfort as she takes another bite of her food she says, “We aren't leaving until you fuck me. Not your body, not your mind, not your dick. I'm not leaving until you give me all of you. I know it is hard to bear oneself to another but I need my mate to stop hiding. Show me who you truly are. I won't run.” her lurid whispers echo her words deep into my mind and psyche as aspects of my personality resonate in an almost supernatural hum. Chaehyun finished her plate and sauntered over to me. She caresses my face and gazes into my eyes,

“Come on Rexy aren't you tired of holding back,” and the mental barricade between my primal self and rational self breaks. I kiss her fervently as I lift one of her legs so that I can get a better angle on plowing her pussy and she wraps it around my torso. She smiles

“There he is,” she moans as I impale her on my cock. Her greedy pussy happily accepts though as she drips. She moans sweetly as I slowly plunge deeper and deeper inside. Her hands dig into my back as she tries to anchor herself from the intense pleasure building inside of her.

“You like that? You like how my cock owns your pussy so much that you have to tear me apart,” I groan as I finally bottom out inside of her. She smiles and says,

“Yes, more than anything now fill me with your cum!” I start thrusting into her deeper and harder than I ever have before and I watch her just lose herself to the pleasure. I smirk at her convulsing body as she spasms around my cock.

“You like it,” I ask smugly

“Yes, yes, yes. I can feel you hitting my womb,” she answers. I grin madly as I flood her insides with my seed and she moans overwhelmed. After our little session, we shower together and pack. Throughout the day we mate some more as Chaehyun insists on prancing around nude because she can't get enough of me, but alas we have to stop so we can catch our plane. It sucks because I was balls deep inside of her when my alarm went off.

Chaehyun glares at me as I pull out but I merely say, “Look you wanted to go on this trip. I didn't. I'm more than happy to cancel and fuck you till you're stuffed like a turkey.” I see Chaehyun’s mind fight her body as she is super enticed by the idea. I see her moan as she considers it but her mind wins out and we grab a ride to the airport.

“Ugh, why can't I say no to you,” I groan to Chaehyun who smiles before saying,

“I don't know why you thought you could beat a girl from Busan,” I laugh and kiss her cheek as we settle into the bed on the plane.

Chaehyun smiled and demanded another kiss and another and additional after that before taking my face and smashing our lips together. When she breaks it I see a familiar glint in her eye.

“No, we are not doing that I say before turning over and going to sleep next to her. Chaehyun groans annoyed.

[hannie-dul-set]

HOME FOR THE BITCHLESS [6].

SYNOPSIS. wherein your friend offers a room for you to crash in while your dorm is being renovated, but fails to mention that your new housemates don’t know how to talk to women (oh, and they also have an ongoing bet about you, too).

PAIRINGS. choi soobin, choi beomgyu, lee heeseung, park jongseong, sim jaeyun, park sunghoon x female! reader. GENRE. housemates! au, rom-com, sitcom, reverse harem time baby. WARNINGS. almost drowning, a nauseating amount of stupidity, swearing, sex jokes, bribery, the boys are shirtless for most of the chapter. WORD COUNT. 5.2k.

TAGLIST. @cerealdreamwriter @tyongff-ff @dinonuguaegi @certifiedmoa @blueberrgyuu0 @primantha @blu3bell4 @nunugget @hoshi-is-ult-bbg @captivq @tocupid @seosalad @ddazed-lhs @gyuszie @mifuyuyo @error-cant-function @twocupsofsuga @flowerbe0m @dangerousconnoisseurbanana @laviesm @keikeu @elavin @chaemmie @rikisly @satsuri3su @gyugyubin @junhuicosmo @skzenhalove @luvkpopp @yansbolobao @emer-syn @eggomi @drunkinjake @soobiverse @deobitifull @haechanspudu @yawnzzn27 @7myoi @toothfa-1-ry @imsiriuslyreal @maimoirs @whippedforbeomgyu

NOTE. this is my favorite chapter so far i think i peaked here. the ppt scene was inspired by anthpo, my professors' tendency to use the socratic method to instill trauma in their students, and hoshi from seventeen's tiger agenda. also, most of this was written before i found out odi has passed 😔 fly high little guy.

MASTERLIST | NEXT >

CHAPTER 6 — the obligatory pool episode.

THERE’S A HEATWAVE IN TOWN. When you wake up, it feels like you got transported into Satan’s rectum. It’s sweaty and disgusting under your covers, and kicking them off does nothing to appease the hellish humidity inside your room. But when you roll over to grab the remote for the air conditioning, blindly press on the button, nothing happens.

You try again.

It’s not working.

You jolt up from your bed, hair a mess, and armpits too sweaty for comfort. A power outage. Of course, there’d be no power on the hottest day of the year.

“Fucking shit, I’m so hot,” you announce as you make your arrival downstairs. It’s only Sunghoon and Jay in the living room. They turn away from their game of jenga upon your arrival.

“Yeah, you’re super hot,” says Jay. “I mean, damn global warming sure sucks, huh?”

The wooden tower collapses. You stifle out a grunt of agreement. “Apparently some feeders in the neighborhood broke down,” Sunghoon informs you. “They’re still fixing it. The generator also wasn’t working when Heeseung hyung went down the basement to turn it on. I think we need to get that fixed too.”

Well, shit. That’s not good news. You give Sunghoon a pat on the head for speaking thirty-six words to you today before walking over to the kitchen. Last time you checked, there was a stash of popsicles in there. You’re pretty sure they haven’t been completely water-fied by the blackout yet.

For some reason, upon nearing the kitchen island, the fridge door is hanging open. You understand why when you step on something— er, someone— on the way towards your frozen delight. “Ow!” Beomgyu hisses from the floor. There’s remnants of cold wind filtering out from the refrigerator. Beomgyu has claimed it as his territory, and he’s glaring up at you from his spot. “Watch where you’re going.”

“‘Scuse me.”

You walk over him, hiking one leg across his torso before infringing upon his fridge monopoly to grab a half-melted melon bar. This isn’t exactly how Beomgyu imagined how it’d be like to be in between your legs. “I’m not sure if you’re dense or if you just don’t give a fuck,” he says, propping himself up by the elbows as you dig through a plastic bag.

“I really just don’t don’t give a fuck.” You snap a bite out of the pale green popsicle. “Want one?”

“Give.”

“Go get one yourself.”

“Fuck you.”

“I’m sure you’d love to.” You close the fridge door shut and make sure to kick his side with your foot when you cross over him again. He lets out a cry of pain. You turn back, satisfied with your cold exploits, but there is no wall separating the living room and the kitchen, so Sunghoon and Jay were witnesses to that entire conversation. “Do you also want a bite?” you ask. Their ears burn a couple degrees brighter before declining.

Was that an intentional insinuation? Yes. Do you enjoy destroying their composure on purpose? Also yes. It’s a new hobby you picked up since staying here, and it’s definitely one you’ll miss once your dorms get fixed and you’d have to move out. Jay and Jake are both particularly difficult to get through, but sometimes you can manage to fluster the former, just like now. Jake has been impossible so far. You’ll get him one day. He can’t be left unscathed.

This may seem terrible, and sometimes you do get a teensy bit conscientious when one of them starts crying or becomes temporarily incapacitated— until you remember they have this whole secret bet going on that definitely involves you, so you should be allowed to fuck around this much, right?

“Hey! Why don’t we have a pool party?”

The genius idea comes from Jake. You immediately run up back to your room upon hearing the suggestion to change into a bathing suit, pausing right before your door because you don’t want anyone waving the PD&J at your face for indecent attire again. So you throw on a beach kimono for the safety of your wallet. They emptied the jar out yesterday to buy some meat for a barbecue party that’s supposed to be scheduled this weekend, but looks like you’re gonna be having that sweet, sweet pork belly tonight right by the chlorine scent of the pool. 

You hurry downstairs, so fucking ready to be submerged in cool, refreshing water. But when you get to the courtyard— all the boys already loitering in and around the pool— you realize something. 

Something a little dangerous.

“You’re finally here!”

Oh no. They’re hot.

“We’re playing chicken fight, come jo—”

A rather scantily clad Sunghoon pushes an equally scantily clad Jake off Soobin’s unclothed shoulders and into the splash of the water. They are all bare-skinned, glistening wet, and although it’s not a bad sight to behold at all, it’s a discovery that you wish had remained undiscovered until you finally leave this damned house.

Listen. It’s not like you’ve never seen any of them shirtless or almost naked before. Jay was literally in his highlighter underwear when you first met him. But you were never put in a situation where you’re able to look at them closely because all those times have been meshed with something stupid.

It’s very easy to overlook their general attractiveness when they all act like third-graders, bitchless losers, scandalized Victorian men, or all of the above at the same time, in the same sequence. It’s really easy to forget that.

But Heeseung has his soaked tank top sticking to his skin and Beomgyu is pushing his wet hair back with a wide grin. Your housemates might actually be a tad bit more attractive than your prolonged, initial impression of them. This can cause a little internal trouble.

“Why aren’t you getting in the water?”

Soobin is the one that’s asking, having already left the water fight in the middle and is now looking up at you, chest deep near the pool’s edge. You look down. You’re not sure if he’s looking directly at you because you’re a little focused on his toned arms resting above the ledge, but if he is, then good on him for keeping up with his eye-contact practice hours.

“Hey,” you call out, crouching down and hugging your knees. “Do you work out?”

Silence. Pink scatters across Soobin’s cheeks. He coughs out an unintelligible response and disappears back under the water, quietly swimming away. Yes. This is how it should be.

Feeling a lot more at ease after confirming you still have the upper hand, you finally dip your legs into the pool and stretch out your back with a satisfied groan. Fuck, this is perfect. You’re honestly unsure how you’re supposed to transition back into life at the dorms when this house has a perfectly refreshing pool at your disposal. You don’t remember what life was like before this. You’d live here for the rest of your life if you could. But you have enough pride in your system to prevent you from extending your verbal contract with Jake. Two months. It’s a few days past the halfway point now. All you could do is enjoy this life of comfort as much as you can.

Until it gets ripped away from you in the form of Jake yanking your ankle and dragging you under the water with a horrifying splash. 

Before you know it, you’re gasping for air and grabbing the nearest thing your arms could reach out for so you don’t fucking drown— but when you finally manage to rise back to the surface, a loud inhale of air into your lungs, the person you managed to hold onto just happens to be Heeseung.

Heeseung, who’s looking down at you with wide, alarmed eyes while you’re wrapped around his waist. Heeseung, who shoves you back into the water out of panic and shock and whatever the fuck his problem is.

Jake rushes to pull you back up. Heeseung is dead to you.

“I’m sorry.”

He failed to kill you so he’s now down on his knees, timid palms on his lap, and head lowered in guilt.

“I am very sorry,” Heeseung repeats. “I am deeply reflecting on my actions.”

You’re sitting on the half log shaped chairs on the courtyard, still wet, arms and legs both crossed in petulance as Sunghoon quietly dries your hair with a towel from behind (no, you didn’t scare him into doing this). 

“Stand up.” He flinches at the tone of your voice. “Go get yourself dried up so we can finally start the barbecue.”

He’s awfully obedient. You watch as his slumped figure trudges back into the house. “Was that too much?” The back of your head hits Sunghoon’s bare stomach when you try to look at him. He’s holding your head in his hands with the damp towel in between.

“You’re always a little much,” he mumbles.

“Is that a bad or good thing?”

Sunghoon ponders for a moment, staring at your upside down face. “More is always better than less?”

You smile, snatching the towel from his hands and jumping off from your seat. “Good answer.” Two gentle pats of praise on his cheek set his skin on fire. Speaking of fire, you can already smell the scent of smoke and deliciously cooking meat wafting in the air, so you run over to Jay who’s on grilling duty, hoping to get an early bite.

“Can you pass me a plate?” he asks, flipping the cut up pieces of meat on the barbecue grill. “Thanks.”

“Gimme one.” You open your mouth, chasing after the slice of pork belly on his tongs until he brings it closer to your mouth for you to bite. “Holy shit,” you muffle out, hot air escaping from your lips.

“Good?” he asks.

“Very good.” You swallow the piece. “One more?”

He lets you snack on a bunch of well-done beef before they could reach the plate and at some point he mentions, as you’re tearing open a few packs of ramyeon to cook, that you look a lot like the curled up pieces of shrimp he’s currently grilling. You narrow your eyes at him, hand dangerously hovering above boiling water with a square of raw noodles. “Are you trying to say I look charred and have a terrible posture?”

“No.” Jay raises a piece of shrimp in the air, showing it off to you. “Doesn’t it look cute?”

Now that you’re looking at it a little closer, it does look kind of cute. Huh. “Would you eat me if I was a grilled shrimp?”

Jay thinks about it. He keeps thinking until you start smelling something burning. “I’d keep you safe in my pantry,” he finally answers. 

“So you’ll just let me spoil over and die?”

His expression drops. “Fuck.” The shrimp is unsalvageable. “I guess I’d have to eat you.”

The rest of dinner goes on as you expect. Jay and Beomgyu take turns over the grill until Jake thought he’d be naturally gifted over the fire and ended up making charcoal with the last pack of galbi (“It’s fine!” he said. “I’ll take care of it!”) and today’s heatwave suddenly becomes a whole lot hotter with the rising flame on the fucking grill right when Soobin brings out the marshmallows for dessert. It gets quickly defused by a fire-hydrant bearing Heeseung. Now your charcoal galbi has toxic frosting on them. This is the sign to move on to the next part of the program.

The set of log-themed chairs on the courtyard has a bonfire set-up at the center. Of course this unreasonably nice house has that. It’s already getting dark, ink seeping into the orange tintent sky. Jake decides to redeem himself after watching Heeseung fail to set up the chunks of wood for the nth time. “You don’t know how to start a fire? Dude, that’s so lame.” 

“You burnt all our remaining meat with those fire starting skills of yours,” Heeseung huffs, stepping aside for the self-proclaimed camping expert.

“You still ate them.” You’re pretty sure that isn’t healthy.

“Because you would’ve felt sad if I didn’t.”

“You’re both equally lame,” Beomgyu chides, plopping down beside you with a bag of chips that you unceremoniously dig your hand into. “You two haven’t even had your solo chapters yet.”

A flame erupts on the bonfire. Both of them turn to look at Beomgyu. “What?”

“What are we arguing about?” Jay joins in, looking a little too excited for the squabble.

“About the fact that I’m cooler than both Heeseung and Jake.”

Heeseung’s expression falls flat. “You dropped out to become a streamer.”

“Leave of absence! I took a leave of absence and I’m coming back next year!”

Sunghoon and Soobin are both just ignoring the mess, roasting their skewered marshmallows on the bonfire and you aspire to be that level of unbothered. “Let’s consult a professional’s opinion,” Jay suggests, and all their eyes immediately fall on you. “Who do you think is the coolest?” Apparently that professional is you.

“This is like asking which dwarf is the tallest midget,” you wrinkle your nose. “But alright. Why don’t we settle this like real men?”

“Arm wrestling?” Sunghoon jumps in.

“Cooking contest?” Heeseung pitches.

“Do you want us to beat the shit out of each other right now?” Jake’s eyes fly wide open, alarmed. “I don’t think that’s a healthy way of settling arguments.”

“The fuck? No,” you spit out. “Thirty minutes. Prepare a powerpoint presentation explaining why you’re the coolest loser. Convince me. Ten slides max. Good luck.”

Something about almost naked men scattered around your home premises, aggressively typing on their keyboards with so much concentration and determination is so funny. You’re enjoying the raw bag of marshmallows by yourself beside the fire, watching as Heeseung starts panicking when you yell out “Five minutes left!” and starts typing even more aggressively. It’s pretty entertaining. Why haven’t you done this before?

At some point Jake brings out a projector and a projector screen to the courtyard. Seems like the power is back on, and your classroom of death has been set in place.

“Okay. Who wants to go first?”

You’ve produced a clipboard while they were working very hard on the PPTs earlier, legs crossed, fire crackling in front of you, and you click the butt of your pen in intermittent seconds as you scroll your eyes from left to right across the six boys standing in front of you. Heeseung looks confident. Jay and Beomgyu, too. There’s sweat dripping down Sunghoon’s forehead and Jake is furiously flipping through his notepad like he’s cramming for a final exam. But the poor, unfortunate soul that just had to look away from your gaze is none other than—

“Choi Soobin.” He flinches, nearly letting go of the laptop he has clutched against his chest. “Give it a go. The rest of you sit down.”

He looks rattled. “I’m not— I’m not really good at presentations,” Soobin chokes out, and the rest disappear from his side.

You let your chin rest on your knuckles, leaning forward. “Are you forfeiting? Is this a forfeit I’m hearing?” He doesn’t respond. You sigh. “Choi Soobin, are you settling with a D? A tiny, miniscule, measly D?” Beomgyu lets out a snort. You shoot him a sharp stare. “The other Choi, please shut the fuck up unless you want me docking points from you. Choi number one, please start your presentation.

Beomgyu straightens in his seat and Soobin hesitantly clears his throat, turning towards the blank, white projector screen as he holds the clicker with a visibly shaky hand. “Good— good evening,” he starts. “My name is Choi Soobin, and today I was tasked to explain why I am the coolest housemate out of the six. The answer is I am not. I’m not very cool. But—”

When he clicks to the next slide, your clipboard clatters on the ground.

“But I do have a hedgehog, and that’s kinda cool?”

“Holy shit,” you exhale a breathy squeak, the picture of the rodent’s cute little snout occupying half of the large screen. Soobin cycles through a bunch of photos of his hedgehog and the various screams of delight you’re eliciting after each photo makes him smile a little bit more. “Look at that little guy! Oh my god. What’s his name? Where is he? Can I meet him? Please let me meet him, Soobin I am begging you, I will get on my knees for you.”

“His name is Odi and he’s currently living at my parents’ house,” he explains. “I’ll invite you sometime.”

“That’s cheating! This isn’t part of the guidelines!” Jake interrupts, pointing an accusatory finger at the photo of Soobin holding Odi in his hands. Your coos are unceasing.

Heeseung nods along. “Professor, I believe this is completely unrelated to our topic at hand.”

Soobin looks visibly offended. You straighten your expression and click your tongue. “Ahem,” you start. “As much as I believe that Odi is the darn cutest little shit to ever exist and I will die for him given the chance, Heeseung is right. Mr. Choi, I’m afraid I’d have to give you a C.”

He presses the clicker. The slide is back to the video of Odi running down a slide.

“Okay. B minus.”

Now it’s the one where he’s laying stomach-up on the floor.

“Fuck. God dammit. B plus and that’s it. Soobin, sit down. Heeseung, you’re up next.”

Soobin seems satisfied with the grade, dimples popping out with a smile as he takes Heeseung’s seat in the audience when the latter readies himself for his turn. He stifles out a cough-laugh, one corner of his mouth crookedly twitching upward, confidently sauntering up to the front with his iPad, and it’s mildly unsettling because he’s usually Nervous Boy #2. But it’s almost cheating how pretty his teeth are when he’s smiling. 

And apparently he’s aware of that fact. Because after projecting his title slide (LEE HEESEUNG 101: the anatomy of a Cool Guy™), the next thing that appears is actually a photo of his very charming smile, coupled with Chip Skylark’s “My Shiny Teeth and Me” as the background music for his scientifically-grounded explanation. The next slide is a zoom in of his eyes next to a photo of Bambi. He has a venn diagram. This is actually pretty compelling.

Heeseung is a good speaker. He’s really good. The rest of his presentation goes smoothly, finishing it up with a list of references in APA format. Jake and Jay give him a round of applause.  “If you have any questions, I’ll be more than happy to answer them,” he smiles.

“That was a fantastic presentation, Mr. Lee. I particularly liked the part when you demonstrated your ability to make very impressive, but also very alarming sounds with your fingers.” You flip through your very blank clipboard, nodding and throwing out hums at the times you deem appropriate. “I’d give you an A plus, but...I have one question for you.”

He nods. “Yes?”

“Heeseung, can you hug me?”

It evidently catches him off-guard, just as you predicted— persona of confidence crashing down like a waterfall as he stutters out, “Wh—what?”

You clear your throat. “Only cool people are able to hug me. I need to confirm that you’re cool.”

“I can hug you!” Jake declares right next to you.

You blindly reach out your arm to give him a head pat. “See. Jake says he can hug me so he must be pretty cool. Heeseung, you can do the same, can’t you?

There it is. He’s back to being nervous and you feel like your job here is done. “O–of course,” he stifles out, following it with a strained laugh of weak incredulity. “Why wouldn’t I be able to hug you?”

“Then prove it.” You stretch out your arms, ready to squeeze and be squeezed. “Give me a big ‘ol squeeze, pretty boy.”

You stay like that for ten seconds as Heeseung remains glued to his spot in front, eyes shaking and nipping at the dead skin on his lips. You let your arms fall back to your sides. “Okay. C minus. Next.” His expression quickly transforms into offense.

“I feel like this grading system is a scam.”

“No hug, no opinion. Sit your ass down,” you click your tongue, smacking him with the clipboard when he weakly trudges back and squeezes next to Beomgyu on the crowded seat to your left with the box of snacks occupying most of the fake log, even though there’s clearly enough space next to you because Jay already started walking to the front even without your instruction.

Jay does not give an introduction, only a rough clear of his throat and he opens his presentation with just a slide occupied with his face. Slide two is another picture of his face, only slightly zoomed out. The next one has the hashtag JWU. Then there’s a full body mirror selfie.

The rest of the presentation proceeds in the same manner— a wordless slideshow of what is possibly his Instagram feed and before you know it, it’s already over. “Okay,” you exhale, pressing your palms together in front of your lips. “I understand that you are indeed a very handsome individual, Mr. Park, but what does that have to do with the assigned topic?”

“The question is why I am the coolest one here,” he says. “I’m cool because I’m Jay Park.”

It falls quiet.

You finally break the silence.

“Shit, that’s a pretty compelling argument.”

“This is bullshit!” Sunghoon argues. “He didn’t even say anything! There was no discussion! He should be disqualified.”

Jay remains unfazed. He defends with irrefutable wisdom, “Sometimes pictures speak louder than words.”

“Damn.” You let your clipboard fall to your lap. “I’m giving you an A.”

“Fuck yeah.”

Your decision elicits outrage from some of your students. “How is he getting a higher grade than me?!” one of them raises.

“He’s getting a higher grade because he doesn’t think I have cooties, Heeseung.” 

Heeseung throws his arms in the air in defeated frustration as Jay takes his snug seat right next to you again, a victorious smile gracing his face. You run your eyes through your scratch paper once more, pen tapping at the edge of the board. “Beomgyu, do you want to go next?” you ask, which is a mistake on your part because he starts acting just as obnoxious as Heeseung, which— if anything— just triggers your desire to make him crumble to his knees.

He even pulls out a lecture stick, testing it out by snapping it at full length on his palm. Is the fucker trying to go after your role as professor? Where the fuck did his glasses suddenly come from?

“Alright,” Beomgyu begins, the first slide displaying the words Why Choi Beomgyu is the coolest Housemate. “First thing’s first, does anyone in the audience know what my name is?”

“Oh, me!” Jake raises his hand. “Choi Beomgyu!”

“Correct!” The next slide appears when he hits the screen with the stick, revealing his name in a large, bold font with large spaces in between each syllable. “Choi. Beom. Gyu. Choi Beomgyu. Now, I’d like to direct your attention to this specific syllable right here—” he draws a circle around ‘Beom,’ “—what does Beom mean?”

“Offense,” Sunghoon answers. Beomgyu’s face scrunches up.

“What? Fuck, no. Another meaning— oh! Yes, Soobin hyung?”

“Tiger?”

His eyes brighten. “Exactly!” 

The next slide is a photo of a tiger on a field of green grass, grooming its fur as Beomgyu passionately rattles on with fun facts about the animal. You have no idea where this is going. “Tigers are some of the most amazing creatures on the planet, they are the largest members of the cat family and are renowned for their power and strength. As the largest member of the cat family, Tigers are strong, powerful and one of nature's most feared predators—”

“Did you get that from a website?” Jay interrupts.

Beomgyu dismisses him. “Yes, I did, but that’s not the point. The point is—”

Next slide. A hit from his lecture stick. It’s more text. Beom = Tiger. Beom = Choi Beomgyu’s cute nickname. Tiger = Beomgyu. 

“We have discussed that tigers are the coolest animals in the world. My name has tiger in it. Therefore I am the coolest person here. End of presentation. Thank you.”

He drops the stick to the ground and is about to walk away with Jake’s applause, but your penetrating stare stops him right before he reaches the crackling bonfire. You scribble on the clipboard before letting it settle face-down on your lap. You look up at him. “Beomgyu, are you a furry?”

Beomgyu freezes. He lets your question settle in his system before voicing out a very loud, very crunchy, “What the fuck?”

“Is this your way of telling us that you’re a furry?” 

“No! What are you talking about?” he hisses. “I’m just saying that since tigers are cool, that means I’m also cool and—”

“So, you’re identifying with a tiger?” you cut him off.

He presses his lips together, cautious. “Yes…”

“Because you have the word tiger in your name?”

“Yes.”

“And because they’re cool?”

“Yes. We’ve established that alr—”

“Okay, so you’re a furry?”

“Ye— no!” he yells out. “I’m not a fucking furry!”

“Understood. You’re a furry in denial.” You write something down on the clipboard. Beomgyu’s shoulders slacken in defeat. “I’m giving you a B plus. Take a seat, Tigerboy.” Though he grumbles in distaste, he listens to you anyway, trudging deflatedly back to his seat next to the equally grumbly Heeseung.

There are two people left to be victimized. Jake looks excited, so you don’t want to indulge his positive emotions. “Sunghoon,” you call out with a pleasant smile. He squeezes his eyes shut and mutters something under his breath before forcing himself up the log without you having to tell him. “Good boy. Go set up your thing.”

Unlike the rest, Sunghoon doesn’t have a laptop or phone or flash drive with him when he awkwardly takes the presenter spot in front. He’s standing on the balls of his feet, arms tucked behind his back and lips tightly pressed together nervously. “Mr Park,” you pull down your clipboard. “You’re free to project your slides.”

“Well,” he coughs out. “The thing is.”

“Yes?”

He exhales loudly. “I don’t have any slides.” You raise a brow. “I don’t know how to use powerpoint.”

You look at him. “I see.”

“I don’t know how to use this projector, either.”

You pause.

“Okay. I understand.” He breathes out a sigh of relief. “Alright, next present—”

“Wait!” Sunghoon stops you. “I can still give my presentation, I don’t need any dumb slides! I’m just as cool, if not cooler than the rest of them, so you can’t just skip over me.”

“Mr. Park,” you start. “Unfortunately, one of the criteria for this presentation is the quality and organization of your slides. I do not see any slides being presented, Mr. Park. You may present next time once you’re fully prepared.”

“What about Jay?” he tries to reason. “He just showed you a preview of his camera roll!”

The man in question has his mouth hanging open, pausing in the middle of stuffing a nicely toasted marshmallow into his mouth. You let out a sigh. “He had philosophy, Mr. Park. Philosophy,” you explain. “Do you have philosophy? Are you confident that you can convince me with your words alone? Without the help of cute animals and pictures of your pretty face?”

At the mention of his face, his knitted brows of frustration quickly melt into faint pink hues dusting his cheeks. You sniffle a little, rubbing a finger under your nose as you flip through the next page of the clipboard that’s resting on your lap. “Meet me in my office after class,” you tell him. Sunghoon grunts and stomps back to his seat in defeat.

“This sucks balls.”

“You have quite a few options to pick and choose from here,” you hum. “Jake, you’re the last one up. Please tell me you have a presentation prepared.”

“I do, and it’s gonna blow your mind,” he grins.

“Looking forward to it.” You watch blankly as Jake runs up to the front to connect his laptop to the projector, an excited bounce in his every movement and you start wondering how you can shatter this one’s hopes and dreams.

He asks if he can start. You give him a nod. At the click of a button, something boomerangs into the blank screen with 2007 Windows graphics and animation. The atrocious mismatch of fonts say Jake Sim is the coolest one here and here’s why.

“Reason number one—” Jake starts his presentation, turning over to the next slide and your vision is attacked with more outdated graphics, more jarring transitions and animations. “—I’m super funny. Allow me to demonstrate.” He begins by clearing his throat. “What did the Italian chef get sent to jail for?”

“What?” you go along.

“Too much assault.”

An assault is also a very proper descriptor for his PPT aesthetic. An assault to your eyes. It’s like watching a car crash that you can’t look away from even if you try. Reason number two is that he has a great smile (he does). Reason number three is because he has a dog (he also does). Reason number four doesn’t exist because he miscounted and skipped over to Reason number five.

“And lastly, Reason number ten—”

He takes something out of his pockets. It’s a couple dozen bills being thrown into the air.

“I have a lot of money.”

The rest of the boys are quiet. Jake grows quiet too, chest rising and falling after that very enthusiastic presentation and his wide grin slowly melts into that muddled with nervousness and unease because you aren’t saying anything yet— just looking at him with stern eyes and a sharp gaze. “W-well?” he rasps. “How did I do…?”

“How much?” you ask. He cocks his head in confusion. “How much money do you have?”

“Oh.” Jake blinks, now understanding. “I don’t know but it’s a lot.”

Your eyes sparkle, posture straightening. “Will you give me some of that money?” The unease has left Jake and has now transferred to the other five boys around you. Oh boy. Oh no, their eyes all seem to be saying.

“Sure, why not.”

You clap your hands together. “Jake wins. Class dismissed. Good night.”

It doesn’t take long for chaos to break out.

Heeseung and Jay are demanding for a recount (there is nothing to count except the sweet, sweet cash you’ll be receiving) and Beomgyu accuses you of being a slave to capitalism (that should’ve been evident from how you tried to scam money out of them with nudity and a jar on your first week here). Soobin starts clearing up the projector set-up and Sunghoon is on his knees begging for another chance to do his presentation as you watch the digits on your phone screen bump up in real-time when Jake wires you a decent chunk from his bank account.

Another successful day at the residence. This heatwave is better than you thought.

HOME FOR THE BITCHLESS. © hannie-dul-set, 2023.

[anemptypuddingcup]

Dream Demon Anatomy!

Wanted to give you guys some insights on how the monster trio’s dream demon anatomy will be like now and in the future.

Updated w Perona and Robin.

Will be added to my series master list.

Luffy!

-Luffy represents the Baku in Japanese mythology, a dream and nightmare eating entity.

-He’s light and fluffy like a cloud and floats around. When he appears, your closet spews out cold fog which signals his appearance.

-Has his Gomu Gomu no Mi.

-He’s also a bit shimmery and glows when it’s dark.

-Has four arms and a monkey tail. (The Baku has tiger paws and an ox tail but I wanted it to fit more with Luffy)

-Luffy still has his stretchy powers and is flexible like rubber.

❗️He has one cock that can stretch and it doesn’t hurt reader once he inserts it anywhere.

Yearning For More Than Just Dreams.

Zoro!

-Zoro represents the average sleep paralysis demon but he’s more focused on your pleasure and isn’t much of an illusion.

-You can’t tell when he’s in your closet, but you’ll know he’s leave when he presses all six of his hands on your closet door.

-Has six eyes and six arms.

-He also has fangs that sticks out like an Oni’s larger teeth that are usually sticking out and pokes out past his lips.

❗️He has two cocks that are long and girthy that’s more enough to pleasure you.

Sleep Paralysis Demon Zoro. Your Demon Will Save You.

Sanji!

-Sanji represents the Mare in Swedish folklore, a demon that brings nightmares once laying on your chest.

-His body is more like a spider rather than the Mare’s general design (a feline)

-Doesn’t act malicious and mischievous, more sweet and caring (unlike a Mare in general)

-Sanji comes from under your bed instead of coming out of your closet.

-Has six eyes and eight arms. (His arms are retractable as well. I’m writing for six arms in his fic.)

-Has a slender yet flexible body good for many positions.

❗️Has two slender cocks that doesn’t hurt as much but gets the job done for you.

Can’t Help What Can’t Be Controlled.

Perona.

-Perona is a Sleeping Fairy, a fairy that sends Reader to sleep with her and her ghosts.

-Perona comes from through your wall since she’s part ghost.

-Has her Horo Horo no Mi.

-Has thin and cloudy wings that helps her fly around.

-Her hair is thin and shimmery like silk.

-As a fairy, she can shrink into her fairy size and grow back into her human size.

-Has fairy anatomy and has fairy ears and little horns on her head.

-Has natural shimmery freckles on her cheeks and bridge of her nose.

-Also has little wings on the sides of her face.

❗️She’s always soaking with slick but spills out and gets a bit more sticky when aroused and around Reader.

Work in progress…

Robin.

-Robin is a succubus. Instead of taking your life-energy she helps put you to sleep faster.

-Robin comes from under your bed, similar to Sanji.

-Has her Hana Hana no Mi.

-Has long horns that goes through her bangs.

-Has normal human anatomy but has four arms and four eyes.

-A bit bigger in size and stature but still just as soft and gentle.

-Has sensitive demon wings on the sides of her face.

❗️Is naturally soaking and sticky with slick, often soaks the sheets.

Work in progress…

[writingmochi]

i only said | a visualizer and a teaser

cast: soobin ✗ fem.reader

synopsis: as you stood on the crowded train while making eye contact with the boy from the neighboring school. light shines into the dim train car as it becomes empty and filled with sand. approaching you is a humanoid figure, who calls you the king and queen of viliya—the island kingdom that is plagued with nightmares that haunt its people which you and the boy are also not immune to

genre: two lost souls find comfort, silent lovers, magical realism, meet ugly, hurt/comfort, adventure, thriller, coming of age, romance, high school au (both are 19 and in senior year), late 2010s au, modern royalty au, angst, fluff, mature content (phobias, trauma, war, explicit smut)

inspired by: music my bloody valentine's "i only said" (1991), txt's 2019-2020 star seekers music videos ("nap of the star", "magic island", "eternally"), and movies bridge to terabithia (2007) and tigers are not afraid (2017)

word count: 361 (teaser)

release: will not write so i can shock you ;) but it's going to be in 2024

message from the moon: i've been noticing a drought of epic and fantastical txt fics lately. so, i'm gonna do it myself :]

p.s. yes, late 2010s are already nostalgic enough that it can be its own au with its own style and tech

part of the loveless anthology

you always experience something weird when the train is nearing cheongdam. it is as if your senses are being attacked in a sweep when goosebumps form in a wave before it calms down. then it starts again as the train approaches the outdoor part of its journey to cross the body of water. the lights inside start to flicker as you see outside to view the han river from under the bridge, yet sometimes, it's not a river, but a beach.

the sky is the clear turquoise blue that reflects the seawater. the view of the river bank turns into sand that's lining the barrier of land and sea. you could sometimes hear the sound of crashing waves from it even if you only see the setting sky as it changes from day to night. though now, that turquoise sky is getting darker and darker, even darker than the sunset you usually see when you cross on the hanging tracks from the cheongdam bridge to ttukseom park.

then you see it: the visions.

quick timelapse of the neon street, crumbling buildings crashing down as their support couldn't hold on, humanoid beings who can fly as they attacked something dark. only the color orange highlights everything before you see flickers of a woman with long platinum blonde locks and white dress, calling out your name as your eyes are trying to focus on her heterochromia ones.

you've always held onto the nearest surface as you glance at the dots turning red between cheongdam and ttukseom park stations, breathing in and out as you felt your palm getting sweatier when you felt the whole compartment seemed to shake more and more as you approached the bridge and let the light from outside coming in. recently, the shakiness is getting rougher and the vision more frequent. but, you've always try to comfort yourself and see the boy across from you if he is okay.

because it seems like you're not the only one to notice all the things you've experienced, especially when you see him mumbling whilst staring at the red dots lighting up on top of the door when the train approaches the bridge.

taglist: @raeyunshm @leilasmom @evidive @boba-beom @kwiwin @heesw1fe @aloverga @endzii23 @fluffyywoo @camipendragon @hiqhkey @wccycc @cha0thicpisces @y4wnjunz @yeehawnana @beansworldsstuff @kimipxl @blurryriki @amazzwon @stayzentiny @rebsmoonn @angelbythewindow @ttyunz @itzzz-yerin @shinrjj

© writingmochi on tumblr, 2021-2024. all rights reserved

[feathereddragonkin]

I think the worst part about being an alterhuman is the ones you miss.

As a dog, I miss my flock of sheep. The livestock I never had and yet long for every day. The family that I want so badly; the kids that run barefoot through the field alongside me in my dreams and the farmer's wife who sneaks me bits of their dinner when she thinks no one is looking.

As a panther I miss my jungle mates; I miss hearing the chatter of monkeys and the songs of tropical birds. I miss hearing the jungle come alive as I wake up from my nap high up in a tree.

As a tiger I miss the occasional fellow cat I'd meet; how we'd size each other up before chuffing a hello. How a group of us would hunt together and divide the spoils. I miss the cubs, how they'd chase my tail and yowl excitedly at me.

As a dragon, I long for my denmates. My flock. I want to lay down in a nest filled with warm feathery bodies, hear their soft chirps, fly alongside them and dive down to catch fish with my talons. I long to show them my collection of shiny objects, and marvel at their treasures.

As Ratchet, my team lingers on my mind. I miss long talks into the night with Optimus, playful arguments with Arcee and laughing at her sassy comebacks, hearing their voices and feeling the contentment that comes with their presence. Bumblebee's surprise hugs and cheerful wing flaps. Listening to the click clack of Rafael's keyboard, and Miko's cheering as she wins yet another round of that racing game against Jack.

As Bendy, I miss my sister. I miss Audrey, I want to hear her voice, see her smile. I want to hear her tell me it's ok, I miss her hugs. I also miss Porter, how he was always so cheerful and contagiously happy. How he calls me "Little Feller" in my dreams and throws me in the air to make me squeak. I miss playing with Heidi, begging Alison to sing for me, giving Tom a drawing to make him huff and try to hide a smile.

As Asriel, I want my Momma and Papa. I would give anything to help Momma bake a pie, and hear her gently remind me to wait for it to cool down. I wanna water the flowers with Papa, and make flower crowns with Chara. I miss her too, I wanna play tag with her through the halls of the castle and build huge blanket forts!

As Lan Xichen, I miss Da-ge so badly. All who died in the Sunshot Campaign, and afterwards. In spite of what he did... I still miss Jin Guangyao, and I wish I could have saved him. From the world, even from himself. I miss Wangji; I miss playing my flute while he accompanied with the Quqin.

There are so many people I miss; people I never truly had, but their absence still hurts me. Alterhumanity is a unique and interesting experience, but for me it often comes with the grief of a life you were meant to have, people who were supposed to be a part of your life but aren't. Maybe that's why we should cherish the people we do have, y'know?

[doumadono]

(Sinful Sunday🙇‍♀️)

Okay first I want to say thank you for writing my last thoughts about Hawks giving him a bj and remote controlled toys. Those were both delicious goddamn~ 😩❤️

Also Hawks and his wings... his feathers. Thinking of him spreading them wide while trying to act more intimidating for both of your fun. Getting you of guard by using his feathers to pin you down.. whether on the wall or bed etc. Using his feathers to just tease you in different ways and making show if his wings to let out some steam together....

Aaa idk just idea of him using his wings different ways is fun and exciting 🙇‍♀️ I hope you have a good day! <3

SINFUL SUNDAY

The evening sun cast a warm glow through the windows as Hawks returned from the patrol, his wings stretching languidly behind him. A playful glint sparkled in his eyes as he caught your attention, a mischievous smile dancing on his lips. "Hey, babe," he purred, his wings unfurling with a deliberate grace. The feathers ruffled and shimmered, catching the light in a mesmerizing display. "How about a little fun instead of cleaning?"

In an instant, his wings spread wide, sending some of the feathers off, creating an impressive display of feathers that seemed to engulf the room. It was a sight that never failed to captivate you, a reminder of the extraordinary creature he was.

"Tiger…" You whispered, instinctively rubbing your thighs together as you stood in the middle of the living room, attempting to vacuum.

His eyes locked onto yours as he got up. Hawks approached with a confident swagger. As he drew near, some of his feathers gently brushed against your cheek, eliciting a shiver down your spine.

"Thought we could spice things up," he murmured, his voice a seductive whisper.

Without warning, some of his red feathers delicately wrapped around your wrists, pulling you backwards and pinning you to the nearest wall. It was a move that left you pleasantly surprised, his smirk widening at your reaction.

But Hawks wasn't done yet. His feathers, like skilled dancers, continued their teasing performance. Two of them trailed along your skin, leaving a tingling sensation in their wake.

He got closer and leaned in, his lips dangerously close to your ear. "You like that?"

The sensation of his feathers against your skin was both exhilarating and soothing, a unique blend that only he could provide.

"Keigo," you whispered where some of the feathers tugged on your shorts, easily pulling them down your legs, leaing you in your cotton panties while the two more of them slipped under your tank top, teasing your already erect buds.

"I've got more tricks up my sleeve," Hawks warned. Hawks pressed you firmly against the wall, his hand skillfully finding its way between your thighs and into your panties, delicately tracing small circles over your sensitive clit.

A whimper escaped your lips as one of his distinctive red feathers effortlessly sliced through the fabric of your tank top, causing it to cascade down to the ground, forming a pool at your ankles. "Keigo, I really liked this top!" you protested, but he responded with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

Hawks engaged in a passionate kiss, delving deeply as his fervent tongue explored the contours of your mouth, emitting a soft hum of appreciation for your unique flavor. Eager and impatient, his hands skillfully tugged at the fabric of your panties, sliding them down your legs. Simultaneously, as he resumed the fervent make-out session, the gentle caress of his feathers traced over the sensitive regions of your slit and clitoris. The exquisite sensation prompted an involuntary response, causing your hips to instinctively buck in an attempt to fully embrace and reciprocate the delightful touches bestowed upon you as you moaned into Hawks' mouth.

Hawks deftly undid his fly and belt, revealing his aroused state as he freed his dick. Already adorned with glistening precum, he took a moment to give himself a few purposeful pumps. With deliberate intent, he aligned his engorged tip with your entrance, gradually pressing forward. A symphony of moans escaped his lips. "Holy shit, dove, you're so goddamn tight." His feathers persisted in their tantalizing motions, caressing your aroused clitoris and nipples, eliciting unabashed moans from you that echoed in the air.

Keigo effortlessly lifted you up, enveloping your legs around his hips, and plunged his cock deeply into your velvety core. His voice was nothing but a sultry whisper. "Do you like this, dove, hmm? Does the way I'm taking you ignite your filthy desires?"

You breathed out a breathy "yes," accompanied by a gasp, tilting your head backward to expose the vulnerable expanse of your neck to Keigo.

Without hesitation, Takami sealed his lips against the sensitive column of your neck, his tongue tracing the line of your pulse point. Simultaneously, his hips moved with a purpose, snapping into yours, the tip of his cock tenderly caressing the intimate depth of your cervix. "Yeah, babybird, sing a song for me," he encouraged.

He elevated his tempo, the rhythmic slapping of his balls against the curve of your ass synchronized with each forceful thrust of his. The pulsating intensity of his member within you signaled the impending release, a prelude to the culmination of pleasure. His wings expanded behind him, their feathery expanse amplifying the sensory experience. As he fervently fucked your pussy, the feathers intensified their caress, grazing over your clitoris and nipples, with one audaciously slipping down to delicately stroke the sensitive area around your asshole, adding an electrifying dimension to the passionate encounter that left you breathless.

"K-Keigo, oh God, I'm cummin'!" A low whine escaped your lips, and before you could exert control over your body's reactions, the knot coiling in your stomach abruptly unraveled. Your luscious, viscous juices enveloped his member, drenching him completely; simultaneously, an unexpected surge of pleasure caused you to squirt, unaccustomed to the intense stimulation his feathers delivered. Flustered, cheeks tinged with a rosy hue, you reluctantly lifted your gaze to meet his. "Keigo… I'm sorry…"

After emitting a deep, guttural grunt, Keigo reached the peak within the confines of your intimacy - his runny cum erupted in your pussy. A fusion of his cum and your own juices trickled out of you, even though you were still stuffed with his dick. With a hint of satisfaction, he responded, "Well, well, I didn't know you harbored such a lascivious side, my little dove, squirting just for me. Delicious."

Concern crept into your voice as you whispered, "Aren't you mad?"

He leisurely withdrew his dick, the amalgam of your releases tracing a sinuous path down your thighs, while the feathers that had earlier ventured to caress you returned to their places on his wings. "No, my sweet bird," he murmured, "In fact, I hope you'll treat me to a full-fledged spectacle of your squirting prowess later this evening. I'm far from finished with you."

[mochinomnoms]

okay so i just read ptm and i'm really liking it^^ but i wanna ask, are your OCs twisted from certain characters or you just made them up ?? i tried to guess some of them but my brain is mostly empty rn :')

Hiiiii!!! I saw you in my notifs, I almost always notice when someone makes little comments in the tags, cause it makes me really happy when people comment and talk about my fics (─‿‿─)

By now I think most people have guessed their inspirations, so I'm happy to talk more about them and explain a bit for each one! I'll go one by one and share a little fun fact!

Yev Quispe is based on Yzma from the Emperor's New Groove! A fun fact is that Yev's signature spell is called “Creature Feature”, which allows him to temporarily turn someone into an animal of his choosing, though it's limited to one person at a time and larger animals require him to use more energy than a smaller one. His uncle is the botany professor at NRC!

Timothy O'Hare, mostly goes by Timmy, is based both on the White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland and Thumper from Bambi! He has 9 younger sisters and 3 older sisters, and would regularly get beat up by them if he was rude to a girl. His signature spell is “Reverse the Clock” which allows him to turn time back by a few seconds, 10 at most, however he has to wait at least 30 minutes between each use due to the massive amount of blot he accumulates from use.

James Bartholomew is based on Captain Hook, though he has no hook (yet). He was raised at sea for most of his life among much older and crass sailors, so he has a hard time talking with others. His signature spell is “Hook, Line, and Sinker” which allows him to cast a barrier that “hooks” his opponent to his vicinity, up to a 5-foot radius; if they attempt to leave they will be dragged back like a fish on a hook. The farther they try to get away, the heavier their body will get.

Wynfred Salson is based on Winifred Sanderson from Hocus Pocus, but likes to go by Winnie. He's the eldest of the triplets and is extremely protective of them. He likes foraging and making his own potions from scratch, so he joined the Mountain Lovers Club to collect his own materials. He is very socially unaware and thinks he is the epitome of the ideal human, though most people are put off by him.

Marion Salson is based on Mary Sanderson from Hocus Pocus and is the shyest of the triplets. He's Winnie's shadow and idolizes his brother, and even tried switching clubs but was denied. He has a very acute sense of smell on par with beastmen, so he hates how perfumed Pomefiore is, as he'll get migraines from the smell. Marion would like to become a healer, like his mother, and volunteers in the infirmary as much as possible.

Silas Salson is based on Sarah Sanderson, though they like to go by Sy. Sy likes to dress up in both masculine and feminine clothes and sometimes will ask everyone to refer to them as he, she, or they, depending on how they feel day to day. They also like to eat bugs and will snatch a flying cockroach from the air and shove into their mouth to eat. They say it's because they like how the texture feels in their mouth. Sy is also an excellent singer and would like to study bardic magic.

Aspen Albamar is based on Morgana from the second Little Mermaid, though his name references her green skin. He tries to be composed, but it's quite easy to push his buttons and get him riled up, unintentional or not. He is a wonderful musician, but actually has trouble with magic, as he was a late bloomer. He's originally from the Arctics and moved to the Coral Sea very young,

Tony Lombardi is based on Undertow from the second Little Mermaid, and is extremely small for his type of merfolk, which is a tiger shark. He, unlike the rest of his mer peers, is really into flight class and surprisingly excels in it. It might come as little surprise, but Tony has a big ol' fat crush on Aspen and has since they were children, but has kept it on the down low. Despite his warnings that Jade most likely views him as a little brother, Tony will begrudgingly help Aspen in pursing him since it makes him happy.

Yaqub Fahim is based on Iago from Aladdin and is a parrot beastman. Yaqub is arguably the most level-headed of all the Ramshackle freshmen, and gets along with most if not all of his peers. He does not like Kalim and Jamil at all, as both are off-putting to him for different reasons, so he is not particularly attached to Scarabia as his dorm, so he prefers to stay in Ramshackle as long as possible.

Amara Goethel, also known as Nurse Goethel, is based on Mother Gothel from Tangled. She is in charge of the infirmary, but also teaches the health and wellness curriculum, which has classes that correspond with both science and health, so she works with Vargas and Crewel often. She has a very hot wife who is covered in tattoos and

I wanted to establish a cast of side characters to make up for the lack of the third years, so I decided that new freshman would be the best choice! A lot of their background and 'lore' won't be relevant in the main story, but I would like to write more about them in little side snippets!

Some of them will end up together or with an unnamed background character. Two technically have partners already, but one of them doesn't really count. Anyways this was fun thanks for asking about them, though I think I shared more than asked lol.

[crazycurly-77]

Lost in the Jungle - pt. 1

“NOOOOOO!!!”

Gibbs yelled through the whole office and smashed his fist on his desk. He thought he's going crazy. “I don't accept that.”

Jenny saw his desperation and tried to stay calm “Jethro, she's dead”, she stated. 

He spun around to face her and spat

“You have no proof of that and I won't accept her death until there is proof of it.”

“Jethro…” Jenny began once again. 

“No.” He answered violently. 

Jenny sighed, hung her head and left for her bureau while Gibbs walked up and down between the desks like a caged tiger. 

The whole team was shocked. Just now the director told them that your plane was shot down and that you were most likely dead because of the crash. 

They couldn't believe it. It seemed very unreal that you of all people should be dead.

Gibbs was completely beside himself and Tim was frozen in shock. These two seemed to take it the hardest. 

Standing up from his chair Tim said cautiously 

“Boss…” 

No reaction from Gibbs. So he tried again a little bit louder

“Boss…”

Gibbs came to a halt directly in front of him, so they were standing nearly nose to nose with each other. The tension in the room was tangible. Gibbs glared at him and growled

“What, McGee?!” 

“I…I don't accept and don't believe that Y/N is dead, too. There must be a way to find her and bring her home.”

Gibbs took a step back, pondered the heard words for a moment and then patted him on the shoulder nodding

“Good idea. Find out the route she was flying and where she was at the last contact. The Blackbox should still send a signal. Check that, too.”

“Okay, boss” Tim confirmed and got straight to work. 

Tony and Ziva came cautiously to Gibbs and asked “we want to help, too. There has to be a way to find her.”

Gibbs looked at them thankfully for their support. 

“You can help McGee.”

“Okay, boss.” Both of them answered and began to work on this case, too. 

The whole team looked in every case they found your name in. They followed all traces they discovered, but there was still no hint where you could be. 

With time everyone approached total desperation and devastation as Ducky came into the room, stopping in front of Gibbs’ desk. 

Gibbs didn't look up, but growled “Ducky?” 

Doctor Mallard was concerned too, so he absolutely understood his behavior. 

A member of the family was lost and that took its toll on everyone. 

“I've heard that Y/N is missing. Do you have any clue where she could be? I'm assuming you're looking for her” Ducky asked. 

“We are, but we don't have any clue. Not yet.” Gibbs answered briefly. 

“Did you look in South America?” 

Jerking his head up, Gibbs answered “Why South America?”

“Because before she left, I gave her a vaccination, which you need when you go there.”

“DiNozzo! Look for a flight from here to the south and for any missed planes,” Gibbs yelled across the desks. 

“Yes, Boss!” Tony answered and began immediately to work on this matter. 

An hour later Tony stated very excited “Boss! I think I found her plane. There's an aircraft missing whose flight plan matches her disappearance and the size of the plane also matches.”

“Where did you find it?” 

“In Ecuador” 

Tim tapped wildly on his keyboard and then said “Boss, there's a rescue signal!” 

Gibbs jumped up from his chair and walked over to him, leaning on his desk beside him “where?” 

“In the Amazon rainforest, here” Tim replied and pointed at the screen. 

“Good job.” Gibbs patted him on the shoulder and went back to his desk, where he took his phone and his weapon and were ready to go. 

“Where are you going?” Tony asked, irritated. 

Gibbs looked at him and answered “to Ecuador. Searching for Y/N.”

“We are coming with you” Ziva said determinedly and she and the others began to grab their gear. 

“You stay here” Gibbs ordered. 

“Why?” came from Tony. 

“Because I need you here for background information, if needed.”

Tony and Ziva looked at each other disappointed. 

Then Tim spoke up “I want to come with you, boss. No matter what.”

Gibbs laid his hand on Tim's shoulder, sighed and said softly “it's dangerous in the rainforest and when we will be back, we will definitely be suspended.”

Tim stood his ground “if that's the price I have to pay to bring her home, I will accept that gladly.”

Gibbs stared searchingly into his eyes and then nodded, saying “good. Then let's get our vaccination, drive to my house for the needed equipment and then head to the airport. In the meantime I need to make a call.”

He was in full marine mode and stormed in the direction of the morgue with Tim hot on his heels.

(To be continued...in Chapter 2)

--------------------------------------------

Here you will find the other chapters of this story and the other stories I've written to date.

-------------------------------------------

Tags: @ilovemark1951, @hobby27

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[charliemwrites]

I’ve been thinking about “mean” (okay no they’re mean) characters.

Specifically, I’m thinking about Rook “Duke” Alistair being best friends with Actual Assassin and meanest bastard around, Velikan.

They’ve known each other since her early days back in the Air Force. Maybe Duke, freshly nicknamed and bright-eyed, got caught up in some sort of ambush with a shiny new unit.

And maybe Velikan was going to kill her as collateral, but for reasons not even he knows, he didn’t.

And now he’s got this duckling (she’s even blond and fluffy like one) that’s practically imprinted on him. Every time they cross paths (and they keep crossing paths for some fucking reason) she lights up and waves, babbling updates about her life. She doesn’t mind his gruff tone or his short temper, or the absolute mauling she receives when he finally acquiesces to spar her.

It’s not that she doesn’t know he’s an assassin. Oblivious as she can be, she’s not stupid. Just the opposite, in fact. She recognizes that approaching him at any point is like sticking a hand in a tiger cage. And yet she still does it, even when they’re out in the field.

How she’s not dead yet, for pure annoyance alone, he’s not sure. But he figures that she’s spent so much time being an inconvenience to him specifically that he’s earned the right to put an end to her.

And then he’s not sure how she isn’t dead from natural selection.

“I thought you were military,” he hisses, brushing dirt off her shirt and pants. Why is he doing so? Because he’s annoyed that she slipped on pile of wet leaves.

“I am!”

“You have no discipline, no coordination, and no sense of self preservation.”

She beams. “I think that last thing is something they encourage, actually.”

He stuffs her into a good hideout and tells her to stay while he takes care of their his tail.

It’s not just the slipping, tripping, and falling. If anything would make him believe in luck, it’s Duke having the worst of it. Falling objects and loose floorboards, changes in a guard rotation or a light coming on at the worst moment. She’s smart and quick enough to watch out for herself, but only just.

Maybe he lets her live out of pure bafflement. Morbid fascination with someone so smart and yet so—

“Stupid,” he growls, dunking her head in the rain barrel.

She comes up sputtering, but giggling. “This isn’t how you’re supposed to treat acid exposure.”

He dunks her under again for good measure. She shakes off on him like a dog afterwards and he genuinely tries to strangle her. But then she gets her sharp little teeth in his arm and bites, proceeds to inform him that he’s going to need antibiotics with a bloody smile.

Is he going to personally bring about her violent, gory end? Yes.

Is she also his best friend? Somehow.

“Do you think cinnamon floss or mint floss is better for improvised stitches?”

“I think you should just bleed out.”

“It’s not for me, dummy…. Yet.”

He’s not relieved when she gets the position with the CIA, but something close to it.

They hire him for their dirty work often enough that he sees her regularly. Her ridiculous, cluttered desk and her grotesque stash of snacks and her constant rotation of injuries because they still let her near machinery.

“You stink,” he scoffs, lifting her right out of her chair as she squeals. “You are taking a shower.”

And because she has the attention span of a fly, he goes in with her. She fusses when he gets soap in her mouth or eyes, but he just tuts that it wouldn’t happen if she were capable of doing it herself. And dignity? Long forgotten as he scrubs her down from head to toe, pinching when she complains about being babied.

“Do not act like a child, then,” he gruffs, throwing a towel in her face.

Honestly, Laswell should be ashamed.

“When was the last time you ate?” He demands, squishing her cheeks with a little shake. “Eh? When was the last time you had something other than blue candy?”

“‘S raspberry.”

“Are raspberries blue? No. They teach this in school. All that sugar has rotted out your little brain.”

It turns out the answer to his food question was “too long.” He trades her potatoes for carrots, but only after holding her nose closed until he could force peas in her stubborn mouth.

Ridiculous, really.

[fatehbaz]

On the night of April 30, 1541, the Ming Ancestral Temple in Beijing was struck by lightning and burned to the ground. [...] 

[T]he fires forced the Jiajing Emperor to resurrect one of the dynasty’s most expensive, difficult, and destructive projects: the logging of old-growth timber in the far southwest of China. Disaster struck again in 1556, when fires burned the Three Halls that form the central axis of the Forbidden City. The Three Halls burned yet again in 1584. [...] Yet the lightning strikes in Beijing were also a disaster for the old-growth forests of the southwest, where the logs to build the palaces had first been cut in the early 1400s. As logging supervisors soon learned, ancient trees could not be felled on a regular basis. Officials pressed ever deeper into the gorges of southern Sichuan and northern Guizhou to find them, bringing massive transformations to the environment in the process.

---

The foundations of Beijing were laid between 1406 and 1421 by the Yongle emperor, a junior son of the Ming founder, who moved the court to his personal appanage in north China. [...] Grasping the sinews of power that connected his court to far-flung regions of the empire, Yongle pulled one million laborers to Beijing to build his palaces. Because the weight of Chinese buildings is carried by their pillar-and-beam frameworks (liangzhu), monumental buildings required monumental trees (Figure 2). So Yongle also dispatched a similarly large labor force to the old-growth forests of the far southwest to cut the fir (Cunninghamia lanceolata) and nanmu (Phoebe zhennan) that grew straight and tall enough to be used for imperial construction.

We cannot be certain just how many logs were cut to build Beijing, but the figure must have been astounding. In 1441, two decades after the completion of the project, 380,000 large timbers were left over from the earlier construction. By 1500, these too were gone, used for repairs or too damaged by rot to be used for construction purposes.

---

In the sixteenth century, logging officials wondered how their predecessors had been able to obtain so many giant timbers. Li Xianqing, who supervised more than 40 logging sites in the 1540s, noted that large trees could still be found, but they could only be transported out with great difficulty and at great expense. The majority had to be discarded as hollow or insect-damaged. Even when a quality log was found, it took five hundred workers to tow a log over mountain passes.

Skilled craftsmen were on hand to build “flying bridges” (fei qiao), stone-lined slip roads, and enormous capstans (tianche) to tow the logs up slopes (Figures 3 and 4). In the remote forests of the southwest, loggers faced attacks by snakes, tigers, and “barbarians” (manyi); “miasmatic vapors” (yanzhang, probably malaria); storms, forest fires, rockslides, and raging rivers (Figure 5). Labor teams had to carry their own food and often starved. At the rivers, logs were tied into massive rafts bound with bamboo for buoyancy, towed by teams of 40 men, and then launched on the three-year, three-thousand-kilometer journey to Beijing (Figure 6). Only a small fraction of the trees reached the capital in a condition where they could be used for palace building.

---

Expeditions exceeded their budgets up to fiftyfold.

One official remarked, “the labor force numbers in the thousands; the days number in the hundreds; the supply costs number in the tens of thousands each year.” Another saying held that “one thousand enter the mountains, but only five hundred leave” (rushan yiqian chu shan wubai). To make matters worse, logging mostly occurred within territory that was under only loose Ming control [...].

---

The Yongle Palaces were said to replicate the otherworldly atmosphere of the old-growth forests where their pillars originated. The presence of these timbers in Beijing linked the capital, materially and symbolically, to the southwestern landscape of cliffs and gorges where the trees had grown.

But ancient sentinel trees could not be reproduced on demand. The fifteenth-century logging project was a millennial event, removing the growth of hundreds or even thousands of years. Later officials were forced to come to terms with the transformations their predecessors had wrought in the ancient forests. Eventually builders had to switch to smaller, commercially available timber, using ornate artisanship and commercial efficiency to substitute for the austere majesty of the early Ming palaces, and the thousands of years of tree growth on which they rested.

---

All text above by: Ian M. Miller. “The Distant Roots of Beijing’s Palaces.” Rachel Carson Center for Environment and Society, Environment & Society Portal, Arcadia no. 39. Autumn 2020. [Bold emphasis and some paragraph breaks/contractions added by me. Presented here for commentary, teaching, criticism purposes.]

[helplesslypurple77]

Kinktober Day 1-Atsushi/Reader w/ promts Cunnilingus and First Time

Notes: Kinktober day 1 yayayay, also i intended for all of these to be cutsy little drabbles, you know like 800 words or something, but now all of them sit at over 2,000 words sooooooo

Never before has four feet felt so far apart. It's like you're stranded on one side of a large crater, just barely able to see your boyfriend on the other side. And if that wasn't enough, the crater is clearly made up of the most awkward silence known to man. Not a single bird dares to fly across the skies, scared of the consequences that might ensue, less they dare to traverse these tense skies.

Ok maybe you're being a bit dramatic, but the inocuos four feet of comforter between you and your boyfriend Atsushi really does feel so big, and yet so small. Your fingers tap anxiously against the blankets, drawing little invisible patterns on the blue comforter. Atsushi’s own fingers are clasped anxiously in his lap, his foot tapping on the floor. You clear your throat, and interrupt the silence that had enveloped the two of you.

“Where’s Kyoka?”

Atsushi startles, a little shiver running the length of his body and he avoids your eyes as he responds. “Dazai took her and Ranpo out for all you can eat dessert.” The silence envelopes the two of you again. Your heart pounds against your chest, your pulse embarrassingly fast, and you know for a fact Atsushi can hear it with those tiger senses of his. Your only reassurance is that you can hear his heartbeat as well, pounding just as embarrassingly as your own.

Atsushi jumps to his feet, startling you out of your own embarrassment. “I'll get you some water.” he stutters out and with that he's gone, and you can hear the sound of the kitchen tap running. You take a deep breath, studying your breath and taking off your coat and hat, forgotten in your mortification.

You and Atsushi have been dating for about a month, and had gotten pretty comfortable with each other, but one step into his house alone and all of a sudden it was like the first date all over again. If you were being honest, you were really hoping something would happen. You loved Atsushi dearly, and would want nothing more than to move to the next step with him, and finally connect on a more intimate level. And it would also be nice to shed your Virgin status.

Footsteps notify you of the return of your boyfriend, as he makes his way back out of the kitchen, a glass of water in his hand. It happens in slow motion. Your usually careful boyfriend’s foot catches on the side of the rug, and he trips, the glass in his hand flying towards you. You dodge the glass, but you're not so lucky with the water, and it splashes all over your shirt, soaking the white fabric. Atsushi rushes forward, apologies on his lips.

“I'm so sorry, Name! Are you ok?” He grips your shoulders, checking you over for injuries just in case. You let out a laugh, all the earlier awkwardness gone from the air. “Yeah i'm fine, i just got a little wet,” You don't notice as your boyfriend looks down, his eyes widening at the sight of your black lacy bra, showing through the see through fabric of your shirt. He interrupts with a shriek, falling backwards onto the floor in an effort to get away, his hands over his eyes as he babbles, “I'm so sorry I didn't mean to see! I mean I swear I didn't see anything! Nope! Nothing at all!”

You stare at him, confused, until your eyes follow his as they drift down. You feel your cheeks flush, and you want to cover your chest, but fate seems to have presented you with an opportunity. You ignore the burning on your cheeks as you pull your shirt over your head. The only sounds in the room are the garbled noises of distress from your boyfriend. You toss your wet shirt to the floor, the wet slap echoing in the room. You crook your finger at Atsushi, and act as if your own cheeks aren't burning. “Wanna touch me?” You put a little pur in your voice, and unzip your skirt, tossing it to the floor as well. Your boyfriend manages a whole sentence, his cheeks still furiously red.

“Well I want to touch you. A lot.” He averts his eyes, looking a little two guilty for your liking. “But I would never want to pressure you into anything—” You slip off the bed and bend down, shutting him up with a sweet kiss. One of the many things you love about him is his considerate nature, but sometimes it really bites you in the butt. You pull back, meeting his eyes. “I want you Atsushi, I've been wanting this for a while.”

His lips meet yours again, and he stands, pulling you with him to the bed. He sits and you follow suit, sinking onto his lap, your lips still sealed. His kiss is soft and familiar, but as you settle on his lap it changes, becoming a little more hungry. Atsushi’s hands fall to your waist, holding you against him as your hands tangle in his hair, your bodies pressed so close. You can feel his heartbeat, pounding against his chest, and you know he can feel yours in turn. You feel unstable and out of breath as you pull apart, udjusting on his lap as you feel a hardness pressed against your panties. Atsushi muffles a groan and a muttered apology in your neck. You move your hips back and forth, copying what you see in porn, and let out a little moan as a bolt of pleasure shoots up your body, electrifying your nerves with pleasure. It feels amazing, and you press down a little harder. Atsushi’s hands feel like a brand on your waist as they grip you tighter, helping you move your hips along the hot length still trapped in his pants.

Everything feels warm and fuzzy and wonderful and you love the little noises Atsushi makes into your neck, but all you want is more. Your voice sounds strange when you speak, all raspy and sexy. “More…”

Atsushi stops, lifting his head from your neck and meeting your eyes. “What?” “I want more.” The air seems to crackle between you two, and you feel a wetness in your underwear rubbing against your thighs as you roll off him, positioning yourself back on his bed.

Atsushi still has that dazed look in his eye, but he returns to the world as you flick off your bra. He averts his eyes and holds out hand. “Wait!” You look up, in the process of shedding your panties, and eye him impatiently. “What?” He's worrying his hands in his lap, twisting his fingers round and round in an anxious display. The impatient mood melts from your body, and you sink back into the pillow, a slight bit of insecurity worming its way into your brain. “Do you not want me?” Atsushi shakes his head vigorously. “No, god no that's not it.” he says, his eyes dropping ever so much to the tent in his pants and his cheeks turning pink. “It's just, um, im a virgin…” he almost whisperes the last part, his cheeks pink, his pretty eyes averted.

You can't help the little laugh you let out. You smile at him as he stares incredulously at you. You're still giggling when you speak. “Me too.” The tension melts out of his frame, and he laughs a little as well. But you watch as his shoulders sink again, and he stops starting at your boobs and meets your eyes instead. “Are you sure you want me to take your virginity—” You kiss him again, pulling him back onto the bed with you. You love Atsushi, so so much and it hurts to see his opinion of himself. To you, he deserves everything in the world, but he doesn't seem to think so. So it's your job as his girlfriend to show him that he deserved the world, and anything else he wanted as well.

His complaints seem to have died down, but that's probably because he's far too busy devouring your mouth with his own, all while your hands work the buttons of his shirt down, fingers shaky with urgency. Kissing is a song and dance the two of you have done many times before, and as your hands rid him of his shirt and tie, tossing them somewhere on the floor, his skillful tongue plays with your own, teasing your mouth in a way that makes your nether regions throb with desire. You want him to eat you out.

You tell him as much when the two of you pull away for air, and watch with desire as his cheeks flush a dark red, and he slowly makes his way down your chest, leaving little love bits on your skin. He gets a little distracted by your boobs, but you're not complaining as the sensations of his tongue on your nipples sends shocks of pleasure to your clit.

His eyes are hazy, their brilliant purple and yellow tones clouded with devotion and love, something that looks very familiar to hunger. Lust.

He already feels much more experienced than you, and that feeling is only heightened by the feeling of his rough tongue on your lower region. He finds the clit almost alarmingly fast, and as you grip his hair with a cry, you question him. “How are you this good?”

He pulls his face away from your pussy and sends you a little smile, more suited to another activity than this one. “Dazai forced most of the Agency to watch him do a presentation on cunnilingus. He got almost all the way through before Kunikida died of mortification, and Ranpo doubted his ability to ‘get pussy’.” You are momentarily distracted by imagining the scene but all thoughts of the others flee your mind as he dives back down, layving little kitten(heh) licks to your clit interspersed with slower licks around your hole, occasionally dipping in, doing his best to drive you insane with pleasure.

Your eyes want to close, but the sight between your legs is motivation enough to keep them wide open. Atsushi looks wrecked. His hair is a mess, the soft silver strands tangled between your fingers as you buck your hips, pushing your clit against his nose as he tongue fucks you hole. His eyes have fallen closed, and sweat pebbles at his temple as you moan, a tight ball of heat pooling in your lower stomach. You feel like you know what that means, and as much as you want him to do this forever, you want something else more. You want him inside of you. You pull him off you, his relentless tongue leaving you, as he openes hi eyes in confusion.

His eyes are heavy lidded, foggy and so lidded with desire that the purple is almost entirely covered, the usually brilliant yellow a more heavy golden shade. He cocks his head in confusion.

“Condom?” You choke out as he crawls forward, looking far too similar to a predator eyeing its next meal. You suppose that's not entirely untrue. He shakes some of the haze out of his eyes. “In the bedside table.” You reach around blindly, and your fingers come in contact with it, pulling it out and raising an eyebrow, reading the words written in blindingly white text on the wrapper.

“John's ultra soft bandages?” Atsushi, who has just finished shedding his pants, coughs and snatches it from you. “Dazai gave them to me, he said they were from a free giveaway.”

If you were not in the middle of something, the fact that apparently bandage companies give away free condoms now would have more of an impact, but you're far too distracted by Atsushi’s clumsy hands as they tear open the packaging, and roll the condom down his length.

Maybe it's because you trust him with your entire heart, but you don't feel apprehensive or nervous, even as he lines his throbbing length up with your hole, and ever so slowly nudges in. The stretch isn't painful, not even by a longshot with all that preparation he did, but it still burns a bit as he finally bottoms out with a breath, his hips trembling as he holds himself still for your sake.

You feel so close, so connected, so loved. You can feel his heartbeat pressed against your chest, his warm throbbing length buried deep inside you, his ragged breaths in your ear. You can tell how much effort it takes to hold himself back, to not rut into you desperately, and yet he still holds still, just for you. You feel so full, both literally and figuratively, and you love it.

“Move baby.” You rasp in his ear, your hands gripping his shoulders as he whimpers, doing as you request. His thrustsq aren't steady, but what he lacks in experience he makes up for in sheer size and accuracy, his well aimed thrusts pushing you closer and closer to the edge of the metaphorical cliff.

Your moans fill the air, joining his little grunts and moans to make a wonderful orchestra of pleasure, your shouts of his name only encouraging him more. And then he hits it, a spot inside of you that makes white hot pleasure race through your body. “There! Right there Sushi!” He obeys and makes sure to hit that spot every. single. time. You move your hand down, rubbing your clit furiously, and now you're truly done for. You can tell he's getting close as well, when you open your eyes, and almost lose it right there.

He looks almost feral, eyes alight with lust and pleasure, sweat dripping down his temples, the lowlight doing its best to turn him to an angel, hallowed by the silver main of hair falling around his face. Your lips part as he meets your eyes. “Sushi?”

“Yeah, baby?”

“I love you.”

You cum with a cry, fingernails leaving long scratches in his pale skin. You feel like the tight line of tensions inside you has finally snapped, leaving you falling into a well of deep pleasure, drowning inside him.

You feel his hips still, and you hear his raspy reply as his dick twitches inside you. “I love you to Name, so much.”

...

End Notes: Just imagine Dazai forcing them all to watch a slideshow thats actually pretty informative, but full of dumb memes and stupid emojis and every metafore has something to do with suicide. And of course, Ranpo isnt paying attention, Kunikida is mortified, and Atsushi is actually taking notes

[haecien]

SEVENTEENS reaction to their s/o being scared/screaming about bugs.

Note: I have no idea who is & is not scare of bugs in svt... this is just my interpretation!! If there is a video/post about this tell me!!! also fun fact, a Cockroach was roaming around my room while writing

Warning: mentions of killing, the word die😭 all of this is jokes, none of these are real! slight cursing!

Genre: fluff, jst fluff

766 words 3,883 characters

C.SC -

At first he thought you were dying when he heard your blood curtailing scream, turns out there was a fly just roaming around and it happen to just touch your face.

Now he has learned to carry at least 1 tiny can of bug spray just for you, it gives him a heart attack over your screams. He finds it a bit cute whenever you clung to him after seeing a bug near you.

Y.JH -

Same reaction for the first time of coups. But.... instead of comforting he just... almost teased you to death/j

He'd secretly hide those fake toys of bugs ALL around your shared house/apartment/...idk any living place lmao

You'd almost kill him for doing that, still gets you everytime. Ofc he made it up to you, he is still your boyfriend after all

" Hey... come on I'm sorry! I forgot to remove itt"

*silent treatment*

H.JS -

He would try to calm you down at first, if you were still wailing about the bug he would try and kill it or carefully place it outside.

He would endlessly caress you and tell you that you're alright

(Bro im giggling)

"Joshua i swear ill love you til I die" " Then die😊🤭" /j

(If ykyk)

W.JH-

Who knows he'll eat the bug, jk. He would prob scream with you, he'll act up like " I'll protect you! " then comes running back to you terrified

" YOU DIDN'T TELL ME IT WAS THAT BIG " " WAAAHAA I KNOW... "

Eventually he sucked it up and very "bravely" shoo shoo away the bug. BEGONE! " You know! I was just acting, I wasn't really scared... " " Totally.... "

K.SY-

" AAAAAAAAA " Wow is HE more scared than YOU? Yes, a matter of fact he is.... " You know i've seen tigers beat bigger enemies... yet you're scared of a single bug?? I guess you're not really a tiger. "

Those exact words, they made him furious and he quickly got a broom and vigorously whacked the bug away! In times of need you just made him question his identity as a tiger.

J.WW-

Honestly, would be kinda chill. He carefully took a piece of paper and a glass and scooped up the bug and placed it outside.

He asked if you wanted to play with him to help you calm down, you said yes NEVER wanting to set a foot outside right now. (Ok now imagine resting your head on his broad ass shoulders while playing and he'd run his fingers through your hair)

L.JH-

Same reaction as Wonwoo, BUT It would take him awhile to come down from his room😭the time he came down you'd almost started thinking of burning this entire house to the ground. (No reason, i keep thinking about the fluffy hair jihoon with THE black turtleneck shirt that's kinda tight)

X.MH-

So... Fuck it he's letting you take care of it/j yeah he's gnna flame that bug, BURN THE WITCH! If he mocks you about this you would bring up the thing with him and frogs😭(if you don't know I remember seeing a video of seeing minghao being scared of irl frogs but not animated ones ex: keroppi)

K.MG-

Hes a big boy... but he's just a puppy tbh, LITTERALLY LOOK (I got off track sorry HAJSJSK Free gyu pics ig HAHA)

Deff is also scared of the bugs too, poor baby just stood there frozen while the bug flew on his face. Prob had to call a friend to help you HAHA

L.SK-

You know he's gnna hit those high notes, who's going to help you both in this state oh my god. "YOU'RE THE MAN. GO GET IT. " the bug flew away before you both could even do anything " Sunshine i drove it away!! " ".... YaaYyyy.... " *dies*

H.VC-

" HANSOL... " he looked at you confused literally deadass holding the now DEAD bug in his hands " what do I do with it? Throw it o-- " "NO! " bitch I thought you were scared of it " ... ill just do whatever "

B.SK-

He gets scared easily too so... hajimalago/j would be sassy about it " Why don't you get it! You saw it first " kind of guy you'd end up bickering with him too much that the bug decided to just dip out

L.CN-

The only guy who actually protected you HELP, you'd move to another room and let him take care of it. He'd keep reassuring you that you were fine and that the bug was gone, no more bugs will bother you anymore

[eminsunnytoons123]

The whatnot Show gang doodles:

Part 1, part 2 And part 3

Since I have promised yesterday that I'll post the whole whatnot Show gang, here it is =^_^=

And this is for all my loved ones in my tumblr family: @0lemonadefox0 @kxllboii @cheezekennith @aquamarine-dream-queen @dayzsac224 @oscarandgrinchfan @moshywoosh @ilovescaredysquirrel2 @nuggetaubrey @sharkyy599 @nightkit92 @familyoffood @animatronicdoozer @thelazzyblogzz @sugar-miss1 @shrimpathizer @shypeachrunaway @iggyguyy @sayuri-does-skits @typical-sophie @peaceforpeople @ben5569 @oxxjustfrankieandmikuloverxxo @ducktopia90264 @artismeyou-12 @blackstar044 @acen402 @diego-r-the-artist-2009 @nia1sworld @rumplestiltsbear @s4gefr0g @beeware-of-lulu @leafith @bluebird-in-a-cagedrawing @muppet-fan-frr @thegroovyskull @blo0st4r @vickymcsworld @fancytigercupcake @classywinnerpeace @dackychansworldofhoshino @itzbluecl0udd @alegriasweetblossom that always love me And support my work And always give me some much Joy And happiness in my heart, I'll always love And support them no matter what, And I'll always wish them all happiness And Joy =^///////^= 🩷💖❤️

Also, I know that I made these doodles on february this year And that I could've redraw them in my new improved artstyle after these couple months, I'm kinda lazy to do so ^///^; but! When I often draw them along with kermoot And the moopets, timrek And the teppums, And Lucille And the parodies, they WILL look more better =^_^=

And also! Before I start sharing their new updated infos, I wont go by the parts I was doing, because I wanna make every character be together in these new parts ^///^;

Now their NEW infos/bios:

Dermot the dog - dermot the dog is Kermit the frog's whatnot counterpart, he is the dog leader of the whatnot Show gang and he plays the bucket bass and likes to talk about cloudy Days. His headcanon voice actor is Phil LaMarr, And his voice claim is Wilt from Fosters home for Imaginary friends.

Miss Tiggy - Miss Tiggy is Miss piggy's whatnot counterpart, she is the primadonna Tiger lady but she is also very hot tempered, so beware of her! She is even Dermot's love interest. Her headcanon voice actor is Pendleton Ward, And her voice claim is lumpy space princess from adventure time.

Ozzy Woodchuck - Ozzy Woodchuck is fozzie bear's whatnot counterpart, he is the comedic Woodchuck of the Show And his jokes often suck and he often uses honks for entertainment of other whatnots. His headcanon voice actor is Doug Giorgis, And his voice claim is Bobby zilch from psychonauts.

Bonzo the amazing monkey - Bonzo the amazing monkey is gonzo's whatnot counterpart, he is the Daredevil Monkey that isnt afraid to do some dangerous acrobatics And stuff, And he has a thing for fairies that are taller than him. His headcanon voice actor is Gregory Micheal "Greg" Cipes, And his voice claim is Beast boy from teen titans go!

Paisley the persian cat - paisley the persian cat is rowlf the dog's whatnot counterpart, he is wise and laid-back just like rowlf And he plays the Mandolin. His headcanon voice actor is Keith David, And his voice claim is Husk from hazbin hotel.

Sid the British bulldog - Sid the British bulldog is sam the eagle's whatnot counterpart, he is a British bulldog that always has something to say about Britain or that the Show should he more cultural, And! He calls the other whatnots "freakos". His headcanon voice actor is Phil LaMarr, And his voice claim is Spike the bulldog from various tom And Jerry DTV movies.

Gustavo the King ladybug - Gustavo the King ladybug is Pepe the King prawn's whatnot counterpart, he is a sassy mexican KING ladybug of the Show, And! Dont call him a "fly"! His headcanon voice actor is Carlos Jaime Alazraqui, And his voice claim is juandissimo magnifico from fairly oddparents.

Pierce the chinchilla - Pierce the chinchilla is Rizzo the rat's whatnot counterpart, he is a cute looking yet sassy chinchilla on the Show with many mischiefs. His headcanon voice actor is Blake Roman, And his voice claim is Angel dust from hazbin hotel.

Victor - Victor is Walter's whatnot counterpart, he is a enthusiastic boy who is a big fan of the whatnots And he is even the part of them, he is even Snooper's best friend And he has a crush on him. his headcanon voice actor is Liam Ross-Mills, And his voice claim is Tractor tom from Tractor tom.

Snooper - Snooper is Scooter's whatnot counterpart, he helps Dermot for the show and he is even Victor's best friend And he has a crush on him too, And his sister Sneeker often teases him. His headcanon voice actor is Tom Kenny, And his voice claim is Preston from class of 3000.

Dr Aristotle un wonders - Dr Aristotle un wonders is dr bunsen honeydew's whatnot counterpart, he is the Scientist of the Show And Kiyoshi is his assistant but maybe even a crush. His headcanon voice actor is Jeff Bergman, And his voice claim is yogi bear from jellystone!

Kiyoshi - Kiyoshi is Beaker's whatnot counterpart, he is just as nervous and shy as beaker And he speaks like "breep!" And "ohh?". His headcanon voice actor is Richard Steven Horvitz, And his voice claim is Raz Aquatin from psychonauts.

And I wanna know who are y'all's favorite characters here in the whatnot Show, ya can tell me either in the replies or reblogs =^.^=

And I'll post the rest later or tommorow along with The moopets gang, And! I gotta draw class of 4000 characters now =^//////^=

I hope y'all will like these =^////^= 🩷❤️💖💛🧡