#although for the last year I can only write when I’m high and listening to 80’s white people music

[awinchestershell]

Happy 6th birthday to the fanfiction that truly ignited my writing fire. It’s 45k+ words and 29 chapters and I reread it every month or so just for inspiration cuz trust me it sucks but I love it anyway. 15 year old me was a word-vomit powerhouse but she wasn’t exactly Suzanne Collins. Even today, give me an hour and I’ll pump out a 5k word oneshot without breaking a sweat, but it’ll be FULL of inconsistencies and grammar mistakes and flat out typos. Nonetheless, I fucking love this story and I’m proud of my skill at that time considering before I started fanfic writing I’d had literally no creative writing experience. It was just something I sort of picked up and guessed how it was done and corrected things as I went along. Anyway, happy birthday to my hobby!

[mango-bango-bby]

We keep talking about sugar coated things bout yandere dad! Sukuna and child! Reader. I wonder what will happen when the moment that sukuna is sealed, what will happen to child! Reader? Will she be sealed too? Then many many years later will be on the hands of the Gojo clan, I wanna see what will be dad! Sukuna's reaction when he sees his child (through itadoris body) playing with Gojo and calling him "dad" jdiwjwwjwj

-💎 (anon)

♡ Sealed ♡

(A/N: The ANGER that Sukuna would feel when he sees you treat Gojo like your father 😭 I definitely think reader would be sealed away. I’m not to good at writing angst so I hope this turned out alright!!!)

Content Warning ⚠️: Yandere, platonic yandere, child!reader, angst lots of angst :(

Summary: Sukuna finally sees you again after thousands in years (Platonic!Yandere!Sukuna x Child!Reader ft. Platonic!Gojo x Child!Reader)

Masterlist ➸ ♡

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

You were sealed away along with Sukuna. He was sealed away before you were. The last time he saw you, you were sobbing, begging for him to save you, screaming that you were scared. It fucking haunted him. He wasn’t able to be with you before he got sealed away, he had no idea what happened to you for thousands years. Were you hurt? Were you killed? Were you sealed away? Were you scared in your final moments? It plagued him, he should’ve protected you better.

You’re sealed away and are put in the hands of the Gojo clan. You’re only brought back after Sukuna has a new host. Luckily for Gojo, you genuinely don’t remember your life with Sukuna. He actually keeps you and Itadori away for a while, letting you get to know Gojo. He’s not sure if your memories are going to come back or not.

“Itadori” Gojo calls out in a singsong voice. Itadori looks up at him before he speaks again. “I have a surprise for Sukuna” he says, a carefree smile on his face. Gojo noticed Sukuna had been becoming violent lately, despite his many attempts he was trying to take over Itadori’s body even more. Gojo knows you’re Sukuna’s weakness. He would be able to use you to calm him down.

Despite not being widely known, you existence was documented sometimes back in the day. It was clear that Sukuna did care for you, it was also clear he didn’t ever do anything violent around you.

Sukuna has no choice but the listen the Gojo’s words, Itadori getting up to follow Gojo as hell leads him outside. The two of them stop at the steps of Jujustu High. Itadori states, confused as there’s nothing there other then a child, sitting in the grass making flower crowns out of small weeds.

Sukuna can only stay silent. You were not only alive. But you seemed well. You made flower crowns the same way he had remembered. You looked the same, although you were now dressed in contemporary clothing instead of the kimonos he remembered you had. “Is he saying anything?” Gojo asks, leaning over to Itadori.

“No, he’s actually being very quiet” Itadori says, used to Sukuna’s constant threats and violence. Gojo smiles a bit, watching you turn around, giving him and Itadori a wave. “Speechless huh, Sukuna” Gojo says, watching you run over to him. “For you!” You say happily hading over the flower crown you had been making to Gojo. You had used to do that for Sukuna. “He’s trying really hard to take over” Itadori mumbles, knocking himself on the head a bit at how he’s trying to take over.

You turn to Itadori, not at the sound of his voice. But rather at the sound of Sukuna’s voice. “Y/n” he says simply, watching the fearful look in your eyes at the sudden mouth that had appeared on Itadori’s cheek. You didn’t seem to recognize his voice. You back up a bit behind Gojo, scared by the booming voice.

“Y/n” he says once again, a tone he used to use as a warning. You back up even more, tears welling up in your eyes. It didn’t seem like you remembered him. But more than that. You were... scared of him. He’d never seen you be scared of him. Even more than that, you were clearly going to Gojo for comfort. You didn’t remember your own father.

But he would get you to remember him. He had to. He couldn’t let the Jujutsu Sorcerers steal his own child from him. Those Jujutsu Sorcerers will die for taking you from him.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵ Thank you for reading, darling!!

[mvybanks]

congrats on 2k! you deserve every one babe. for your celebration i'd like 🍟 jj surprising you on your first anniversary pls

thank you so much!!!! MWAH <33

2k celebration CLOSED!!!

╰┈➤ 🍟—> ugh, getting hungry; wanna stop for a snack? : give me a character (jj, pope, sarah or rafe!) and a thought and i’ll write a concept/blurb!

warnings: mostly fluff but a little bit of angst at the beginning!

He forgot. You can’t believe this, your first anniversary together and your boyfriend forgot about it. JJ has always been a sweetheart to you, treating you as if you were his whole world from the moment he met you, so of course no one was surprised when he asked you out on a date the first time, the sweetest and most beautiful date you had ever been on. It’s been a year since that day and he doesn’t remember.

Perhaps it’s silly, but what hurts the most is knowing that you remembered everything about your firsts together while, apparently, he doesn’t.

You ignore his texts the whole day, noticing how none of them even mentions once how important this day is, until you get back home from work to drown in your own misery. Maybe giving him the silent treatment isn’t really the most mature and the smartest thing to do, however you’re too mad to think clearly.

Currently, you’re sitting on your couch, eating ice cream right out of the tub with a small spoon and watching your favorite romcom, realizing that these movies have only made your standards too high for real life.

The sound of your doorbell startles you and you waddle to the entrance of your house to see who it is through the peephole: a well dressed JJ is outside your door, a bouquet of flowers in one hand as he adjusts his hair with the other.

You roll your eyes at the sight, thinking someone has probably reminded him of the occasion, although you can’t help yourself from finding him adorable; his pretty face is the reason why you open the door, knowing full well that beautiful grin of his will always make him win these stupid arguments.

“Why are you dressed like that?” You ask him as soon as he’s in front of you and you lean against the doorframe with your arms crossed on your chest.

He raises one eyebrow, “you haven’t answered to my texts all day. What is going on?”

“Do you know what day it is?”

“Baby-“

“No, don’t call me that right now. I know you forgot, let’s just reschedule and-“

He shakes his head, “will you listen to me?” His tone is soft and he sends you that breathtaking smile of his, “I remembered, sunshine; of course I did! I wanted to surprise you, I’ve been planning this day for weeks. I didn’t say anything because I wanted to make sure it was a surprise. Now, I’m thinking it wasn’t such a good idea,” he chuckled at his last words.

He hands you the flowers and you take them, guilt and relief washing over you all at once.

“What did you have planned?” You almost whisper, taken aback by his confession after you’ve just spent the whole day moping around.

“Get dressed, I told you: it’s a surprise.”

You and JJ get back into your apartment and he patiently waits in your kitchen as you try to get ready as fast as you can, a stupid grin on your face the whole time. Once you and him get on his bike and start driving, you begin to notice how your surroundings are filled with trees and green all around. You can’t stop thinking about how it all seems too familiar, but you don’t say anything as you enjoy the ride with your arms safely wrapped around his torso.

When he pulls up to a secluded spot, he helps you take your helmet off and gives you a hand off the bike.

“Close your eyes for me,” he says softly and you smirk at him jokingly.

“Is this how you’re going to kill me, Maybank?”

He rolls his eyes playfully and chuckles before you decide to oblige. He puts an arm on your waist and walks behind you, his free hand covering your eyes for he doesn’t trust your curiosity.

“This isn’t fair,” you laugh.

“A couple of more steps,” he rasps in your ear and a shiver travels up your spine at his voice; damn him and his sexy ass.

He stops you and you don’t feel his warmth around you anymore, “can I open my eyes now?” You ask, raising your voice a bit since you have no idea where he is.

“Wait…Now!”

When you take in the sight before you, your jaw goes slack, absolutely in shock at the amazing boyfriend you have. The trees around you are decorated with string lights, your favorite flowers are on a blanket on the ground, which is full of fake petals; on the blanket, a chest sits with a white box next to it, causing you to wonder what might be inside of it. JJ is standing with two glasses in one hand and a very clear expensive bottle of champagne in the other.

“Wanted to recreate our first date,” he says sheepishly when you don’t say anything for words have died in your throat.

You walk up to him and throw your arms around his neck before kissing him, passionately and softly all at once, showing him your appreciation and love for him.

“This is the best thing anyone’s ever done for me, J,” you whisper on his lips.

“Then I guess we better start celebrating, princess.”

[counsellormurdock]

okay, posting some matt x peter, spideydevil stuff.

this is just a quick little blurb of nonsense that was inspired by tasm2 with peter hating the itsy bitsy spider song.

writing ft. foggy and jen walters and peter isn’t actually directly in this. but it’s fine. just, listen, this is ridiculous okay? my writing partner and i bantered about this and i wrote this for it.

🍸itsy bitsy

the annual new york law journal’s attorney of the year award banquet reached the point in the evening where those in attendance have switched from that air of professionalism while awards were accepted and speeches given, to taking full advantage of the open bar.

scheduled to end at 9:30, the reception hall was booked through until midnight. a tradition for those in attendance to enjoy themselves and let down their hair – as they say. foggy is seven pina colada’s deep, working on his eighth, with one of the little umbrellas tucked behind his ear.

matt, far more sensitive to the overall effect of alcohol, has gone shot for shot with jennifer walters. while not in her hulk form, matt has a slight advantage over her. that only lasts so long after the fifth shot, which was supposed to be high end tequila but was something far stronger, matt has to focus hard to work against the alcohol in his system.

it’s not that he’s a lightweight, six foot one and just over two hundred pounds, his body mass can easily handle the alcohol without concern of reaching dangerous levels. but the sensitive nature which matt experiences the world around him is quickly thrown out of equilibrium with the introduction of alcohol.

jennifer is ordering another round, “matt you gotta quit, you just gotta quit.” foggy warns, all to knowingly but too intoxicated himself to do anything about it.

“shush, franklin, i’m fine.” he isn’t, not really, but any consideration into his state is derailed when his phone rings. “hang on, peter’s calling me.”

‘the itsy bitsy spider crawled up the water spout –‘

“I hate that song, I hate that song so much.” peter says, after someone, for what had to be the umpteenth time, mocked spider-man with it while out on patrol.

“it’s not that bad of a song.” matt says, a suspicious smirk already covering his lips.

“it is a terrible song! if you had some children’s song about a daredevil people sing sarcastically at you, you’d feel the same.”

matt’s nodding, “yeah, of course, absolutely not going to set that song to your ring tone now.”

“matthew.” peter’s expression flat, the voice over feature on matt’s phone guiding him, out loud, to setting a customized song. “matthew!”

‘- down came the rain and –‘

“hello, mr. parker, i was just, thinking about you.” matt says, a little overzealous to be talking with his husband, despite doing so not even four hours previously.

on the other end of the line peter bites back a laugh, disappointed he couldn’t attend the banquet with matt this year due to his own engagements. however, still plans to be there to pick his intoxicated husband up in a cab to ensure he gets safely home. they hold a short conversation, coordinating times to meet and exchanging their goodbyes before hanging up.

jennifer is putting another shot glass into matt’s hand. “why is peter’s ring tone the itsy bitsy spider?” she asks, leaning against the bar. every other person that calls matt, his phone simply announces the caller’s name in a rather dull electronic voice.

“because he hates it.” foggy chimes in, had his fair share of hearing peter complain about it over the years.

matt’s nodding with a wicked grin, “yeah. although… it doesn’t really fit.” he leans towards jennifer, “’cuz i’ll tell you what, there’s nothing itsy bitsy about that spider.”

jennifer sputters a laugh, and even foggy is amusingly rolling his eyes, but in unison - “matthew! shut up.”

[liecastillo]

That’s Hilarious

Chris Evans x female reader

Summary: Chris came back to your house after you broke up and he’s acting hilarious... and delirious.

Warnings: angst, past relationship, crying a lot

Wordcount: 1k

!!beware of all the mistakes, English is not my native language!!

A/N: I have a lot I want to say about this story I just finished writing, but I honestly don’t know where to start. Well, first and foremost you should know I wrote this after I got VERY dissapointed by my boyfriend and then it’s also inspired by Charlie Puth’s song That’s Hilarious so you can find a lot of the lyrics in this story. Recommend listening to the song before or during reading! And bonus points to those who find the Little Mix reference, haha. Also, I don’t really read/write angst, I usually decide to avoid it, but today just calls for it, sorry. xx

Also!! I decided to start accepting prompts and requests, so if you want to send me something, go ahead!!!

Enjoy!

When Chris and I broke up I felt defeated.

This was love? Was it supposed to hurt this much? Why did it happen? Could I change it or is it too late?

During our last moments together, before Chris left my house for good, Chris solemnly swore it’s not me. That it’s him whose fault it is and that it’s entirely on him.

Yet he is back in my house trying to put the blame on me. Like the tables have somehow turned and suddenly every bad thing that has ever happened between us is my fault.

He was screaming. Furious. Putting the blame on me and only making it worse.

We were together for a year. A year of my fucking life that I’m never going to get back. I thought he was IT. The so-called endgame. But no, he was just another heartbreak, although not one to be worthy of writing another anthem about.

So when we were standing opposite of each other I could not just stand back and let him scream his aggression into my face and then say nothing. No.

I was quiet for too long and I was hurting.

From the heartbreak. From his ill words. From the way, he was suddenly treating me so badly.

Yeah, this situation was pretty hilarious.

“You know, I loved you,“ I said with a raised voice to shush his wave of words that were shaming me and our entire relationship.

“I loved you through every good and bad moment,“ I choked through tears. They were rushing down my face in a never-ending race until they met at the bottom of my chin. It was pathetic that I had to uphold to every single little thing that I did for our relationship. “Through every high and low, I was still here for you. Whether you were feeling fine or under the weather, I stood beside you and supported you no matter what and this is what I get back? Hm?“

“Oh please, this is not what it’s about and you know it,“ he responded.

“Oh really? And what it is about then? Hm? Enlighten me, please.“ I tried not to sound too beggy but I think from all those constantly changing expressions on my face, he could very much read my every single emotion during this whole stupid conversation.

He was the actor in this relationship after all.

“You can’t be serious, Chris! You come here and put all your blame on me. What changed? Not so long ago you were saying it’s not my fault and swearing it’s all you. You’re acting delirious!“ I was screaming at him and wanted to continue furthermore, but stopped when I noticed tears coming out of his eyes.

Good, I hope they’re for me.

“I just want you back,“ he rasped and sniffed. He wiped his face with the sleeve of his hoodie and looked at me with glossy eyes. “After the time spent without you, I realized I miss you and that I need you.“

“What?“ I said in disbelief. “Then why are you playing this fucking game with me, Chris? This is not what people do to someone they love!“ My eyes were popping out of my head.

I could not believe his fucking words.

“You know what? No. Because you’re just another lesson I learnt. And now I know I shouldn’t have given my heart to a man who’s still got a broken one. Because, honestly, Chris… Did you really need to break up with me to realize you love me? That I’m not just some kind of replacement? Because, frankly, I don’t want a relationship like that,“ I said heavily breathing and preparing for my next words.

“I don’t want a relationship with you,“ I announced. My heart was heavily breathing inside my chest and once again I could feel tears in the corners of my eyes.

No, not now, please. Not in front of him, you already shattered too many tears for him to see.

“So please make this easier for both of us and leave my house and never come back. You didn’t love me when you had me and all of a sudden you need me so badly. If you think I would still want you after the things you put me through in the last couple of weeks, you’re delirious.“

He nodded his head a couple of times and sucked in his lips.

He shoved his hands inside the pockets of his hoodie before he turned and left my house.

But before the doors closed behind him, he turned to me and said: “But I do still love you. Even though you might not believe me anymore. You were everything to me too, even though I wasn’t probably showing it enough. And you weren’t a replacement, but maybe I just didn’t know how to love again without it ending badly… again.“

I shakily inhaled through my nose and waited if he has something else to say to me. Maybe just to see if there really is something left in his heart. Something that someone could call love.

“I’m sorry that I put the blame in reverse,“ he spoke once again. “Because what I said that night was true. I guess I came here today to prove myself something. I don’t really know.“ He rubbed his eyes which were once again shining with tears.

I was already uncontrollably sobbing and shaking from his admissions. Because from the way he was saying them… I knew he was telling the truth.

Because he may be an actor, but he still is a damn bad liar.

“And I know it’s too late to come here and say how sorry I am because I already hurt you so much. So please accept my apology. This is not how I wanted this to end.“

I started to choke on my tears. Milion thoughts were running through my head, yet I could not understand a single one of them.

I fell down on my knees and covered my mouth in a failed attempt to cover the loud sobs coming out of my mouth.

“Goodbye,“ was the last thing he said before he closed the front door.

You didn't love when you had me But now you need me so badly You can't be serious (you can't be serious) That's hilarious (that's hilarious) Thinkin' I would still want you After the things you put me through

Taglist: @keanureevesisbae​

[supernaturalgirl20]

Love to Hate You

Part 7

Pairings: Max Phillips x f!reader

Warnings: Smut 18+, explicit, unprotected sex, oral (both receiving), angst, mentions of drinking blood, cursing, enemies to lovers.

Summary: You and Max have been working together for the last year and there is only one thing you have in common - you both hate each other! Now you are both in competition with each other for Ted’s job. Who will win? Who will lose? Will you both realise that’s there’s a fine line between love and hate?

A/N: ahhh ok so we are at the end of this series!!!! BUT it is not the end of these two 😜😈 (you will know what we mean once you’ve read it) Chloe and myself have had so much fun writing this and cannot wait to continue working together 🥰🥰

Part 6

Co written with @misspearly1

Comments and reblogs really appreciated 🥰

Exhaustion took its hold over your body as you pushed the button for the elevator; having spent the entire night working on your presentation - the one you had thought wasn’t needed anymore but Max made it very clear that the race for the company directors position was still on.

You’ll be damned if you’re going to let a vampire make a fool out of you. Making you fall in love was a step too far on his behalf and you're beyond the realms of being pissed off about it. Max had tried to call you last night along with a slew of messages but you’d ignored him, and planned to ignore him when you stepped out of this elevator. If he wanted to play dirty then fuck it, so were you. Although it hurts, it really does, you’re going to march out there with your held head high and nail this presentation, claim your prize and kick Max fucking Phillips to the curb.

***

The doors open with a ding and you emerge from the elevator to be met with a gossiping crowd lingering outside the main conference room, each of them making a fuss over something. What the hell is going on now? You wonder while walking towards Elaine, who looked surprised to see you. “What’s happening? Someone getting fired?” You ask, to which her eyes practically bulge out of her head in reply. “You don’t know?”

“Know what?” Confused, you shook your head with absolutely no idea on what she was referring to. Were you supposed to know about something? Instead of shedding any light to what on earth was going on, Elaine places her hand on your back and begins to push you forward through the crowd, prompting you to demand answers. “Elaine, what are you doing? What’s going on?”

“Just trust me ok, you need to see this.” You finally make your way to the front of the small crowd and shock causes a gasp to escape past your lips. Turning to Elaine you can feel your throat go dry, “What’s-”

“Max is having his presentation.” She cuts you off, wearing a proud grin. “He came in real early looking for you. I told him you weren’t here yet and, well, he looked worried. What’s going on with you two?”

“Nothing.” you say a little too quickly, prompting Elaine to raise her eyebrows in question. “Sure don’t look like nothing.” She narrowed her eyes, before explaining what was going on - finally. “Anyway, he pulled everyone into the room and started his big speech about the job position- you know what, just listen to him yourself, that would be so much easier.”

You turn away from Elaine and locate Max again, hands waving around in the air dramatically in typical Max style, before flicking your eyes over to Ted who’s sitting up poker straight in his chair looking rather aghast, confusion once again furrows your brows. The skin on your neck tingles and you can feel Max’s gaze on you and sure enough when you look towards him once more, his brown eyes are staring straight at you with a smile on his lips. Why the fuck are you smiling right now! Do you think this is funny Max?

“So as I was saying.” He begins. Now that you’re actually here to listen to what he says, Max turns his attention back to the panel briefly before maintaining your eye contact with his next words. “I’m handing in my resignation effective immediately.” What?...He’s resigning? “I’m gonna level with you all, this isn’t how this was supposed to go. I had planned to sweet talk to you all and show you this amazing plan of how I was gonna lead this company into the future but a couple of weeks ago things changed.” Still looking at you while he says this, your eyes begin to water while he remains serious. “I got to know this woman who I thought hated me and she completely changed my world. She’s stubborn as hell, she’s irritating at the best of times but she’s also funny and kind and would do anything for the ones she loves.”

Holy shit. Your eyes widen with surprise. Max means that, he really means everything he has just said. If the man had a heart in that chest of his, those words came from right there. You love this man, and he loves you. So much so that he is willing to give up the position for you to take over and lead the company to victory. Max sees your worth, though it seems others do not. Ted stands from his position, finger pointed at Max. “You mean to tell me you're giving all this up for a woman?”

“Exactly.” Max turns to face him with two affirmative nods. “But, she’s not just any woman though, she’s the woman.” Then, he turns to face you again, the smile reappearing on his lips. “The woman I’ve grown to love and realised how much she actually does for this company. Y/N is far better suited to this job than me. She has a passion for it that can’t be replicated. So therefore, I am out of the race. The job is hers.” With that final statement, he fixes his suit jacket and strides across the floor towards you. Eyes blown wide with lust and adoration, his hand comes to cup your cheek as his lips crash onto yours in a passionate, and really hungry kiss.

This isn’t how you thought today was gonna go, but you aren’t complaining in the slightest. It’s perfect. The way he delivered the news to you and everyone else was perfect. Mixed reactions about the decision scattered across the room behind his shoulders, but you didn’t care. Even if you wanted to care about what your fellow co-workers had to say about you being their boss, you couldn’t as Max began walking you backwards to the elevator like he has some place to take you. “Maxie?” You mumble into his mouth. “Where are we going? I have work to do.”

“I glamoured Ted to give you some time off.” Max breaks off the kiss to urge you into the elevator and as soon as the doors are closed, he reveals why he did that. “You and I are going travelling, toots. Everything’s ready for us to leave, all we have to do is get your suitcase packed then head to the airport.”

“What, really? You mean that?” You ask with an excited smile spreading across your face to which he nods in return. Multiple questions sprung to mind but you couldn’t let one spill as the doors reopened and Max hurried you towards his car, sounding more excited than yourself. “You’ll have a lot of work ahead of you with the new job position, but I want to show you the world first, baby.”

“Oh my God… Max.” Gasping with glee, you plant one kiss on his cheek then another on his lips before he is ushering you into the passenger seat of his car. In the backseat you could see two large suitcases, indicating that it’s going to be a long travelling trip that you’re taking. “How long?” You ask as Max climbs into the driver's seat and starts the car. “Six weeks...” He shrugs. “...Six months. Who knows toots. However long you want it to be.”

“Max, how long did you tell Ted? You can’t do that.” Worrying that you might not even have a job when you get back, Max leans over the partition with a smirk. “Baby I can do whatever I want. I don’t work there anymore.” He chuckles. “I took care of everything, don’t worry. Your job is waiting for you right here when we get back.”

“God I love you.” Smiling into the kiss on his lips, he kissed you back harder and nodded. “I love you too, toots.”

Six weeks or six months of travelling around the world, who cares? So long as you’re spending every second of it with Max Phillips at your side.

***

One hour later you stood at the front door to your home ready to start your new adventure. Max had just finished putting your suitcases in the car when makes his way towards you like he had ants in his pants. “Baby, did you lock your door yet? I need to take a leak.”

“No, not yet.” You reply with a giggle, but then gasp when he delivers a smack to your backside - a playful reprimanding. “Who’s laughing now?” He said before rushing into the house and you smiled. You found it funny that Max looked like he was a second away from his bladder bursting, but the fact that just a few weeks ago you would have despised Max for spanking you like that and now you love it is most amusing. Even now as you look back on the way you two once were with each other, you smile again.

Mentally going over everything and making sure that you haven’t forgotten something, nothing came to mind and you were really starting to get into the vacation mood. You wondered where Max is taking you first. He won’t tell you, opting to make it a surprise instead, you’ll find out once you’re at the airport and about to board the plane - in first class! All the effort he went through to make this happen makes you… aroused, and pleasuring him to express your gratitude is something you’ve been thinking about for the last hour, and that spank to your ass just a few moments ago has turned you on.

The door behind you opens quietly with Max taking a tip-toeing step outside. You don’t turn around and let him play whatever game he was up to because you liked it. You liked the suspense creeping up on you, but were taken by surprise when presented with a single red rose. “For you, my love.” He whispers against the shell of your ear, pressing his chest into your back. Taking the rose from his hand, you brought it up to your nose and took in the aromas with a hum. “Thank you.” You murmur, resting your head back to his shoulder and looking up into his beautiful brown eyes. “Did you really need to take a leak, or did you just go in there to grab the rose?”

A warm smile and a slow wink answers your question before his hands come up to rest on your hips with a gentle hold. You lean in, closing the little gap between your lips to kiss him, however he stopped you before they could meet. “Are we ready to go?” Max asks rhetorically, kissing your cheek once before moving away, but taking your hand and pulling you along with him to lock your front door. “Yes.” You nod, now pulling him along to the car hastily. Once inside, Max leaned over the partition and clipped your seatbelt in. “Safety first, toots.”

“Stop being such a gentleman.” Blurting that out upon feeling overwhelmed with arousal, he was making you feel so special with the little gestures and all you want to do is climb onto his lap and kiss him passionately like a cat in heat. “I hope this flight is a quick one.” You wink, shooting him a nuanced signal that he instantly picked up on. Crooking one brow and looking down at your body once, Max hummed ‘me too’ before starting the car. With his vampire abilities, he will certainly be able to tell that you're horny right now.

The car journey was thankfully a short ride, but with Max holding a hand to your thigh the whole time which only seemed to worsen your current state. Though, your vulgar thoughts were pushed aside when arriving at the airport and taking the suitcases out of the car to head inside. Checking in and going through customs can sometimes be a harrowing task to complete, airports are a crowded place, filled with thousands of vacationers, but that too was a short-lived experience. You and Max were sitting in a restaurant after thirty minutes waiting for the announcement to come through the tannoy. Europe is the direction you're heading for, Spain is the country you’re visiting first and it’s due to take off in an hour.

“We have time to eat something, what would you like?” Max asks, lifting up the menu to browse. The man was once human and he does enjoy food, but his preferred choice is blood, therefore you ask him if he is hungry. “Not for that just yet, toots.” He shakes his head before lowering the menu and waiting for you to figure out what you’d like to eat. “Maybe later.” Smiling as he winks, you took a look over the menu once and chose something light to eat. Consuming a heavy meal before a flight doesn’t sound appealing and besides, you can eat something on one of the two plane flights if you get peckish.

The hour passed by quickly and before you knew it, you and Max were boarding the front of the plane first. The smell of leather instantly enters your nose and you skim your fingers along the seats Max picked out for you both. It looked like a cubicle, a cosy cubicle for a couple to snuggle together inside of. A double white plush faux leather seat with a panel at the side for privacy, inside was lit up with soft lights and a small tv, with two cup holders and a long desk, which even had drawers for you to put stuff inside. It was the dream; even better than you expected first class to look like. Taking a seat first with Max joining you second, the amount of leg room available prompted you to slump in your position with delight, but then you found a handle at the side of the chair.

“Oh my, Max, look at this.” Pulling on the handle with excitement, the seat reclined. Feet lifted off the floor, your shoes were the first to be discarded and Max only chuckled as you got comfy before flagging down the stewardess for blankets. He too pulled his seat back and discarded his shoes, then thanking the stewardess and closing the little panel door, you both were satisfied to relax while everyone else boarded the plane. A short while later, the stewardess came back to ask that you wear your seatbelts as the pilot was preparing to take off.

As soon as the plane was up in the air, soaring above the clouds, you and Max took your former position of comfort and lay back in your chairs again, but this time putting the TV on to watch a movie. You had a short flight ahead of you first before arriving at Charlotte Douglas International Airport in one hour, where your next flight will take you to Madrid, Spain, and that flight is seven and a half hours long. Max should feed before that flight takes off as the last thing you want is a vampire going crazy thousands of feet off the ground. Lifting your head from his chest to ask him about it, surprise brings a smile to your face when seeing that he was asleep.

Looking peaceful as one can be when sleeping, the muscles in his face were still and beautiful, prompting you to place a kiss to the corner of his lips then rest your head back onto his chest. You didn’t want to sleep just yet, but you weren’t about to disturb Max’s deep slumber just to ask about taking a drink of your blood before the next flight.

I’ll ask him later instead…

***

Ten Hours later

Max startles awake beside you, eyes searching frantically until they land on you. “Hey, is everything ok?” The corner of his lip curves into a small smile as he stares at you. What is going on with him today? His eyes flicker along your face before meeting your gaze and he’s looking at you like he hasn’t seen you in years.

His hand gently cups your cheek, his thumb rubbing along your bottom lip. “You are so beautiful, amor.” A small laugh passes your lips and he looks slightly confused. “Max, did you just call me amor? Have you been practicing Spanish for our trip or something?”

His eyes blow wide and he quickly pulls his hand back before standing abruptly and rushing off to the toilet. He’s acting really strange. Maybe he needs to feed?

You shuffle out of your seat and make your way to the toilet knocking on the door softly. “Max, baby it’s me. Let me in.” After a beat, the lock on the door clicks and he opens it slowly just a crack - enough for you to push your way inside.

“Hey, you really need to feed. I haven’t seen you drink anything in hours. You can feed off me if you like?”

“No! I mean…I’m ok toots, honestly. I’ll feed once we get settled into our hotel.” Your eyes roam his face searching for answers but he pulls you into a searing kiss and all thought goes out the window.

Taking your seats once again, you order some food and drinks. He may not need food but I’m starving. You ask him questions about where you're going and he fills you in on all he has planned. Every once in a while you catch his gaze and he looks at you with such devotion. Like your the love of his life.

“I can no believe I have you in my life again.” He moves slowly towards you, his eyes focused on your lips until they meet in a soft gentle kiss. The kiss is like nothing you’ve had before. It’s slow and sensual and not at all like how Max usually is. He’s normally devouring you, hungry for sex.

Pulling away he kisses along your cheek before sitting back. “You sounded funny just then.” He hums as his eyes flicker to you. “You sounded like you had an accent.” Your eyes are narrow in suspicion but all he does is laugh. “Oh toots I think you’ve had too much to drink. Maybe you should slow down.

“Yeah…maybe..” Wait! What did he mean by again?

***

Max unlocks the door to your hotel room and you are in awe. He’d gone and booked the penthouse sweet and it was breathtaking. Opening up the balcony doors you stand against the railing and take in the beautiful scenery. Crystal blue sea and mountains off to one side.

You can feel him behind you as he wraps his arms around your waist. There is a faint sound of music from the street below and the cool evening breeze swirls around you. God, this is heaven.

He rests his head on your shoulder and lets out a contented sigh. You can feel the hard press of him against your ass and you push back a little, a groan falling from his lips. You have been waiting all day for Max to take you and you were so fucking horny, you’d let him take right here and now.

He pulls away a little and turns you into his arms so you are facing him. His arms slide around you again pulling you close, but instead of kissing you passionately and ripping your clothes off - typical Max style - he begins to dance. Dance?

Although, this isn’t how Max normally acts you can’t seem to find it in you to care. It’s sweet and romantic and you love him so much that this moment is perfect.

Max pulls away, just enough that he can look at you. He gazes into your eyes, rubbing his thumb over your cheek. His other hand slides along the curve of your waist - touching, caressing - like he hadn’t done this for an eternity. Like he hadn’t just had you writhing beneath him just 72 hours ago.

His eyes focus on your lips and you can feel the tension coming off him in waves as he leans in closer. His lips crash onto yours and what starts off slow and gentle soon turns hungry. You both pull away panting and you twine your fingers with his and lead him back into the room, where you begin to take off your clothes.

Once you’re bare before him his visibly gulps as his eyes take in your naked form. Your eyes flicker down to his trousers and you can see he’s painfully hard beneath them. You slowly walk towards him, reaching out to help him remove his clothes but before you can actually touch him, he mumbles something about freshening up and rushes off to the bathroom.

A worrisome feeling settles in the pit of your stomach. Max had been acting so strange all day - well, since he came out of your bathroom - and you needed to ask him what was going on.

When you approach the bathroom you notice the door is ajar slightly and you hear him mumbling something. Is he speaking Spanish? Peeking through the gap you can see him clear as day in the mirror but what you see makes you stumble slightly.

He has scars littering his chest and he is currently trying to cover them up. You don’t remember Max having scars. Or was I so caught up with lust I never noticed? You look closer and you think you can make out a faint scar over his left eye. What the fuck?

“Mierda. Deja de ser un idiota. Esa es tu esposa” Fuck! Stop being an idiot. That’s your wife. Once he has covered the few scars littering his torso he looks in the mirror, giving himself a pep talk. “Get a fucking grip, Pero. You have finally found her. After all this time. Do no fuck this up.”

Who the fuck is Pero?

To be continued….

Everything: @maievdenoir @amneris21 @hnt-escape @elegantduckturtle @harriedandharassed @jediknight122 @ayrusss @hayley-the-comet @sherala007 @alexxavicry @scorpio-marionette @donnaa @practicalghost @tanzthompson @beskarprincessjenny @littlemisspascal @icanbeyourjedi @thatpinkshirt @maryfanson @sunnshineeexoxo @misspearly1 @misspearlssideblog @athalien @its--fandom--darling @sara-alonso @doommommy @trickstersp8 @nembees @kaitieskidmore1 @mswarriorbabe80 @deliriosinrose @allthe-ships @tintinn16 @sirpascal @manuymesut

Max Phillips: @paulalikestuff @almaeunice @readsalot73

[supervoldejaygent]

A Gentlemen’s Agreement (2/3)

Fandom: Stranger Things

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

Word Count: 2.1K

Warning!: cussing, mentions of blood

Summary: With boundaries now set, Eddie and Reader carry on with their fake relationship at school

A/N: Hello my lovelies! Welcome to part 2! The last part will be out in a couple weeks as I have a certain schedule in which I write my stories. I don’t really have anything else to add, so yeah. Enjoy (:

Previous --- Next

~ ~ ~

It was a fine Monday morning. Birds chirped their favorite tune, trees swayed with the wind, and the clouds that were visible moved slowly and calmly through the sky. 

(Y/N) smiled to herself as she exited her car. It was the first time Jason hadn’t picked her up for school. The first time she actually got to use her car and not have him complain about not getting to drive. According to him, it was embarrassing to have your girlfriend drive you around. Although she had driven herself this morning, she and Eddie did have plans to carpool in his car for the rest of the week, or for however long they had to keep their charade up. 

She really wanted to sell their rouse. She wanted to be rid of Jason.

And she was beyond happy to have Eddie help her.

Locking her car door, (Y/N) made her way to Eddie’s van on the other side of the parking lot. The closer she got, the more jittery she felt. Over the weekend, a hoard of caterpillars made home in her stomach; now slowly hatching out of their pods into butterflies. The thing was, she didn’t know if the butterflies were from the inevitable moment when she saw Jason again, or if it was because she was “dating” Eddie.

Eddie. A guy she never would’ve thought she’d have a chance with. He was so cool, and despite what most said about him, (Y/N) really liked him.

Like, she liked him.

He was funny, clever, caring, passionate, and a great listener. They had spent the whole weekend together, not going back to her house until late Sunday night. He told her about Corroded Coffin and the Hellfire Club and his dream to graduate that year. She told him about her passion for photography and her growing friendship with Nancy Wheeler and the hope that they could one day work together outside of the Hawkins High Newspaper.

Through all her talking, he never once asked her to stop or shut up. He just sat there and listened, and it meant more to her than he would ever know.

Reaching his car, (Y/N) pushed the butterflies down, tapping on his window. He looked over at the sound, a wide smile breaking out on his face immediately.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he said, pushing his door open. “How are you feeling today?”

(Y/N) shrugged. “I’m okay. Nervous.”

“Well, you don’t need to be nervous with me, okay? I got your back.” She smiled at this, leaning into his open arms. Her heart skipped a beat when she felt Eddie kiss the top of her head. She figured it was to sell their ruse, but part of her hoped that he would do it again without anyone looking.

“Are you ready to go in?”

She nodded. “As ready as I’ll ever be.” 

Putting her hand in Eddie’s, the two made their way into Hawkins High. As they made their way through the double doors, (Y/N) couldn’t help but notice the states that followed them throughout the hallway. They made her self-conscious, causing her to grip Eddie’s hand tighter.

When they got to her locker, Eddie let go of her hand, leaning against the row of lockers. He studied her face as she gathered her math and history textbooks.

“Hey,” Eddie whispered, slightly leaning closer to her while still providing space. “Everything is going to be okay.”

She nodded, only half listening. He noticed.

“(Y/N), hey. Things are going to be fine.”

“I don’t know, E. I saw Patrick and Andy; they both share a homeroom with Jason. It feels like they’re going to tell him.”

“Look at me,” he insisted, guiding her chin up with his pointer finger. His touch was light and soft, it made her melt. “Remember rule #2. We are not going to seek him out. If he wants to talk, we can talk.”

“What if he tries to talk to me and you’re not there?”

Eddie sighed, knowing full well that there was a possibility of that happening. The only classes he and (Y/N) shared were history and study hall, which were at the beginning and end of their day. There were several opportunities for Jason to try and talk to (Y/N). To threaten her, and verbally abuse her. The thought of him not being there in her hour of need and being harmed because of it sent shivers down his spine.

At last, he gave his answer. “I don’t know. But I do know that I’m going to do everything in my power to keep that from happening.” Flashing him a smile, (Y/N) took Eddie’s hand from under her chin and brought it to her lips. It was a soft kiss, a thank you without words. 

It made Eddie melt. 

Closing her locker, the duo made their way to history, hoping that no one would bother them, and that the day would be only for them.

Eddie was quite surprised that none of the popular kids tried anything. Even during lunch, there was silence. He was sure that was when they were going to strike and officially cause a scene.

He had (Y/N) sit with him and the rest of Hellfire. Jeff and Gareth were surprised when she sat down, and even more, surprised when Eddie revealed they were dating. However, their cover was almost blown by Dustin and Mike — the latter having been informed of the situation over the weekend — with their terrible acting. But other than that, lunch was peaceful.

The day was just about over when Eddie and (Y/N) ran into trouble.

They were talking outside of (Y/N)’s car, making plans to hang out and set up a possible campaign that (Y/N) could join. They were discussing her character when Jason and his friends made their way over. Eddie instantly noticed the girl’s demeanor change, her whole body tensing up.

“There they are!” her ex exclaimed. “The golden couple! The talk of the town! The Freak and the Bitch.”

“What did you say?” Eddie’s fist clenched as he blocked (Y/N) from Carver’s eye line.

“I think you heard me, freak. Can’t say I’m surprised, (Y/N). You always were a little whore. Even before you and I were together.”

“You—” Eddie started. However, he stopped himself when his girl stepped in front of him. Her body language had drastically changed. Before him, was no longer the tensed, timid girl, but a confident woman who looked ready to punch Jason Carver in the face.

“Can’t say I’m surprised about you, Jason,” she answered, a powerful boom coming from her voice. Her fists were clenched, but her body was relaxed. 

“What do you mean?”

“This morning I was so sure that you were going to cause a scene for everybody to watch. But now that I think back on it, I find myself laughing at the thought. You see, Jason, you were always a coward, even before we started dating. You did what you could to hold power over me, over everyone, but you can’t control me anymore. And seeing as the only witnesses you brought for your ‘takedown’ are Patrick and Andy, it won’t be hard for me to forge a completely different story than the one you had planned.”

“Oh, really?” he scoffed, folding his arms in front of his chest. “You think you can change this?”

“Yeah, because all it takes is one black eye or broken nose, for you to be done.” Jason and his gang laughed at her words. 

“You think you can take me?”

It was (Y/N)’s turn to laugh. “Carver, I know I can take you.”

It was easy for her to get under his skin, now that she could, and she was ready to ride that high for the rest of her life. With barely a break in her step, (Y/N) dodged a punch from Jason. Winding up her own, she released her fist, hitting him square in the nose, ultimately breaking it. His friends jumped back, looking toward her, back at their friend, then her again. 

Smirking, (Y/N) puffed out her chest, pretending to wind up another punch. The two cowards tugged on Jason’s arms before running away. Jason wallowed as he held his face in his hands, blood seeping through his finger. Eddie was in disbelief.

All this time, he took (Y/N) (Y/L/N) as a small, shy, shadow when she actually had the power to break someone’s face wide open. Her act was beyond breathtaking, and although he’d never admit it to anyone, the breakage of Jason’s nose just made her that much more attractive to him.

“You little, bitch,” Jason finally mustered to say, still clutching his face. “You’ll pay for that.”

“No, I won’t, Jason. Do you know why? Because if you hurt me or my boyfriend or any of our friends, I will tell everyone about what happened here today. I’ll tell the whole cheerleader squad how you got your nose broken by a photography student who dabbles in the fine arts. I’ll tell the rest of your basketball bullies that you got your ass kicked by a girl who knows the entirety of the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I will shout it from the rooftop that you couldn’t handle your own against your own fucking shadow.

“Because you, Jason, are nothing but a sad loser who couldn’t handle dating a girl with her own mind. You took everything away from me and made me weak because you couldn’t handle someone independent. You made me question my entire existence on this planet when I didn’t agree with you on every little thing. I am done being your toy, and I’ll be damned if you have anything to say about it.”

Jason nodded, his shoulders slacking, his eyes beginning to bruise, and his hands still covered in blood. (Y/N) waited with bated breath for him to say something, anything, that would rebuttal her words. 

Yet, he stayed silent and that was all she needed to hear.

Sighing at his defeat, Jason Carver turned around and walked back toward the gym, where his buddies had run off. As she let go, releasing a breath she didn’t know she was holding, (Y/N) could feel her whole body loosen. 

She felt so free. Like no one was able to touch her. It was the best feeling in the world.

Turning back to a very stunned Eddie, she couldn’t help but laugh. “What the fuck was that, (Y/L/N)? Where did all that come from?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. I had this burning feeling in my chest like I needed to finally say something to him. Then he kept calling you a freak and that side of me took over.”

“And how do you feel?”

“Like I’m unstoppable.”

Eddie grinned. “That’s great. I’m proud of you. Hey, now you don’t have to deal with that punk. You can just spend all your time with me.”

(Y/N) smiled back, slowly walking towards the metalhead. “What makes you think I’m going to spend all my time with you?”

“Because I’m gorgeous and my people skills are off the charts. Plus, I’m still your boyfriend for the rest of the week, at least.”

(Y/N)’s smile grew as a flood of heat swept up her body. He wasn’t wrong. They agreed until Jason was effectively leaving her alone and/or had a new girlfriend, that they would still “be together.” The thought of Eddie being gone from (Y/N)’s life and not being her boyfriend now sounded insane to her, but she figured she’d deal with that when the time came.

“Alright, you caught me there, demon boy,” she smirked, placing her hands on either side of him as she leaned against the car, effectively trapping him. Her smirk grew as she noticed the same heat that rushed into her body, rushed into his. She liked seeing the hold she had on him. It felt right.

“So, you’ll still hang out with me?”

“Until the cows come home.” Her blush grew as she leaned in, closing the space that was between them. (Y/N) felt on fire with this kiss, it was different from all the previous pecks he had given her. Such passion and earnestness that (Y/N) couldn’t help but slip out a moan. Her sound caused a great spring of butterflies to erupt in Eddie’s stomach. Pulling her closer by the hips, Eddie deepened the kiss, hoping to elicit more beautiful sounds.

They stayed like that for a while, passionately making out before (Y/N) pulled away, desperately needing air. The two huffed and puffed, coming down from their high, neither one the wiser that no one was around.

Therefore, breaking their first rule.

Taglist:

@munsonsmel0dy

@burn1ngw00d

@ribyourtoplip

@saoirsehime2000

[secretsofthestorymakers]

Ok, last post about Wish for now, I promise! A few years ago, I was writing a lot of short-ish analyses on various Disney Movies, and I remember I actually wrote one for Wish based only on the song This Wish! So I thought it would be fun to go through my analyses from over a year ago and see how correct I was now that I’ve actually seen the movie…

The black text is all direct quotes from what I wrote over a year ago. The purple is my comments on it now.

09/12/22

Considering that it is over a year until this movie comes out (the current date is 9/12/22), I am fully aware how ridiculous it is that I’m already writing an analysis on it. The main character, Asha, appears to be princess-like, although she may not be actual royalty. (I personally think she isn’t royal or high-ranking at all, since I think that will work better with the story and themes). That is actually true, although I still think she is Disney Princess coded. When I listened to More for Us (This was the original title for This Wish) the other day, I was literally crying, and that is with it out of context. It is a beautiful song that combines the simple magic of The Golden Age with the power of the universal truths and complex themes of The Revival Era. It is a perfect I-want song, and showcases Disney at its heart as a beautiful celebration for its 100th anniversary.

09/13/22

I finally found the lyrics to More for Us! (This Wish) Now that I have the lyrics, I can analyze the song properly. Also, after reading the lyrics, I’ve changed my mind about what I think the themes will be and where the story will go. Seriously, by giving us the I-want song, Disney gave us the most valuable single piece of information they could give. I have a LOT to say about these lyrics. Who is “us”? Now, I’m thinking that either she is part of a minority group in her kingdom, ehhhh, that is not true or that this is kind of a kingdom where the rulers (presumably the people who live in the tall palace-like building on the left side of the concept art) control/harm the people in some way. That was spot on. Knowing Disney, I would assume the first option, but the way she says “open their eyes to all lies” implies some sort of combination of the two options. I’m thinking that themes could be something like, action, making choices, standing up, etc. I will stand by those themes, in a way. They certainly aren't the only ones, but they are definitely present (think “if not us, then who and when” from Knowing What I Know Now. I would also say a theme is how knowing the truth can change your perspective. And a bit about willful ignorance in the way that the people unquestioningly gave their wishes to Magnifico because it was easier than trying to pursue them themselves. It appears that Asha is on the edge of something when she sings this. She’s had some sort of realization that sets her apart from everyone else in her world, but she hasn’t taken the step to act on it yet (“I’m past dipping my toes in, but not past diving in”). By challenging Magnifico and learning about the wishes, she’s gone too far to go back to her life just as it was, but she hasn’t made a decision on how to act on this yet, but she knows she needs to. By the end of the song, she has made her decision to act on her realization/feelings. Mhhhmmm not quite. I think she knows she needs to act already when she starts singing, she just doesn't know how. And that’s what Star shows her. She gains strength and confidence throughout the song. It acts as an I-want and a catalyst, as most of the recent I-want songs do. Yeah, that is definitely true. I find it interesting that the I-want itself was the catalyst, but I love it. It feels very Disney. Asha says “the way you always taught me to.” Who is “you”? My guess would be some sort of (likely dead) mentor figure like a parent or grandparent. Yeah, Disney’s pretty predictable with the dead parents. It does make sense story wise though. Whether this is the case or not, whoever “you” is has clearly had a significant impact on Asha, her personality, her values, and how she views the world. They will be an important part of the story, even if they’ve died before the movie begins. Her father was actually mentioned directly less than I predicted, but I still think that what he taught her about the stars’ guidance stuck with her and is the reason she wished on one to begin with. So in a way, her dad did have a big impact on the story, just in a less obvious way. And he definitely affected how Asha views the world and how she chooses to respond to what she learned while in the palace.

[demonbanisher]

15 Questions | 15 People

Rules: Answer these 15 Questions, then Tag 15 People

Thanks for the tag @everythingbutcoldfire

Are you named after anyone? My middle name is a family name.

When was the last time you cried? Without spilling all my guts on here work has been very stressful this week and something triggered a bad episode on Monday so I had me a good full body sob, weeping meltdown.

Do you have any kids? Nope and no thanks. Fur babies and gin aunt only.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? I feel like I stopped, but lately it’s been creeping back in as a weird dark humour coping mechanism thing.

What’s the first thing you notice about people? Is vibes an appropriate answer? I’m pretty good at reading people so usually off the bat I’m trying to determine if this person is a person I want to be around or not.

What’s your eye colour? Blue. Fun fact all my siblings and I have blue eyes and neither of my parents do.

Scary movies or happy ending? Depends what I’m in the mood for. One of my best friends and I spent a lot of time watching horror movies early in our friendship and it’s still very much our thing so spooky flicks always have a special place in my heart for that. But lately I’ve been having a tough time so I’ve been all over the fluffy happy endings. Lots of animated movie rewatches.

Any special talents? I can solve a rubix cube in under 3 minutes. I also play the fiddle. 

Where were you born? Ontario born and raised!

What are your hobbies? Reading, writing, I also just started rollerskating so @everythingbutcoldfire we can crash a bunch together! I’m also a big arts and crafts person!

Do you have any pets? Okay, this question might make me cry. I lost my bun of 14 years at the end of November and then my fish shortly after that so for the first time since I was 2 (maybe with one six month exception) I do not have a pet. Although I’m hoping to get a dog this year! A sheltie like my last one

What sports do you play/have you played? I was a highland dancer for years. I did it competitively too and the only time I came close to medalling I kicked the sword at the last second. I once came eighth at a competition when there were nine people in my category and the top seven got medals. 

How tall are you? 5′5′’ (Listen we’re metric in Canada but not for height unless you’re at the doctor’s office)

Favourite subject at school? English baby. Listen I’m a big fucking nerd. My high school fucking sucked but loveeedddd uni. I’m that weirdo that loves writing essays.

Dream job? Author/poet. Writing for a living is the dream baby

Tagging: (I don’t know who has done this yet and don’t feel pressured at all) @fairysilk @sequinhaze @impishtubist @mkaugust @imjusthereforwolfstar @r33sespieces and anyone else who wants to join!

[inevitablemoment]

“it’s not as bad as it looks.”

Word Count: 1,026

Warnings: Stab wound, fainting, blood loss, brief mention of secondary infertility and miscarriages, brief mention of premature birth, brief mention of temporary deafness, brief mention of neonatal health issues, brief mention of the COVID-19 pandemic

Fandom: Spider-Man (Raimi films)

Pairings: Peter Parker x Mary Jane Watson

It seems to be a running trend of mine this month to write for new fandoms. So, over the past few weeks, I’ve just fallen down the rabbit hole of anything Spider-Man, and right now, the Raimi trilogy has quite a hold on me. A good percentage of this fic is me dumping my post-trilogy headcanons on you.

Enjoy!

————————

Mary Jane was no stranger to exhaustion. But the last however-many hours had been challenging her ability to keep herself going on minutes of sleep.

It was one of the two days of the week on which her alternate would perform, as well as a parent/teacher conference day for the kids’ school district. She and Peter decided to make it a family day before they would have to go to meet with their teachers.

Then, there was this flash of sparkling gold, a few seconds of darkness... and then another flash of gold.

They were still on Time’s Square, with their first stop planned to have been the Disney Store, but she couldn’t place just why it felt so different from a few seconds ago.

Peter had been the first of them to notice one of the newspaper stands, all of the papers blasted with headlines talking about how Spider-Man was a murderer and a criminal. Before she could roll her eyes, she realized that the man-- or, rather, boy-- on the image was not her husband.

Although Mary Jane and the three older children-- seventeen-year-old twins Maisie and Annie (soon to be eighteen), and thirteen-year-old Benji-- were silently thinking the same thing, three-year-old Susan had blurted out, “That’s not Daddy.”

The children, of course, knew of their father’s secret identity as the web slinging hero-- Mary Jane could only imagine how difficult it would have been for them to keep such a secret from their own children when they resided in the same house-- and had been taught from day one to keep it. Though it was tempting to brag about it to their friends.

“We’re still in New York, just not-- our New York,” Peter had tried to explain.

Even as he tried to explain the concept of a multiverse, most of the scientific jargon went over Mary Jane’s and the children’s heads-- at least, except for Maisie.

Peter immediately went to buy the newspaper bearing the likeness of his other... self? Honestly, Mary Jane didn’t know how else to describe it.

“Whoever the Peter Parker in this universe is, he needs my help,” Peter said. “I... I know he does. And not just about this. Something... something’s gonna happen.”

Mary Jane took his hand. “What do you need me to do?”

“Take the kids and find someplace safe,” he told her. “I’ll call you whenever I can, but if you have to move, tell me where you are--”

“I will,” Mary Jane promised.

“I’ll come with you!” Maisie offered.

“Me, too!” Annie offered. “We can help--!”

“No, you’ll be safer if you stay with your mom,” Peter told them. “Okay?”

Maisie was visibly grinding her teeth in frustration, but Annie-- ever gracious and accommodating, the only one of the twins who never had to be scolded twice for the same misdeed-- said, “I understand, Dad.”

Peter hugged the twins, kissing the tops of their auburn heads, before he addressed Benji.

At thirteen years old, Benji looked every bit his father’s son, but had a solemn and quiet disposition that reminded both of his parents of the man that he was named for.

Benji-- their miracle baby after two miscarriages.

Whom they almost lost during a high risk pregnancy, an emergency C-section in Mary Jane’s twenty-eighth week...

“Benji, I need you to listen to your mom while I’m gone,” Peter instructed. “Can you promise that?”

“Yes, Dad,” Benji promised.

Peter picked little Susan up from the stroller. Their little surprise, conceived and born in the midst of an unprecedented pandemic, but had been welcomed into the family with open arms.

“Daddy, you leaving?” Susan asked, her small voice breaking Peter’s heart.

“Just for a little bit,” he said. “I’m going to help someone, but I swear that I will be back as soon as I can. I need you to be good for Mommy and your sisters and brother, okay?”

“Okay,” Susan agreed.

Annie helpfully took Susan into her arms, allowing her parents to share an embrace

“Whatever’s going on, I promise that we’ll be home soon,” Peter swore to her. “I love you, M.J.”

“I love you, too,” Mary Jane said, kissing him. “Stay safe, Tiger.”

Over the next several hours, Peter kept sending her texts, telling her about what was going on. After Susan continued begging, he answered a video call, looking like he was in some sort of lab. She caught sight of two other men in the background-- the baby-faced boy that she had seen, and the other looking like he was ten years younger than her Peter, both of them wearing their own versions of her husband’s suit. The boy from the pictures looked significantly beat up, making her stomach sink as she wondered what in her Peter’s history had just happened for him.

Almost an hour after the video call, everyone else around them began talking about “Spider-Man livestreaming with the Daily Bugle.”

One man had been gracious enough to show Mary Jane the video. It wasn’t her Peter, though. But as she heard the Peter of this world speak, her heart breaking for him as she heard his voice.

“Mom, is Dad there?” Maisie asked, looking over her mother’s shoulder.

“I... I don’t see him, Mayday,” Mary Jane said.

She couldn’t even recall how much time passed before she saw that flash of gold again. But, in an instant, they were standing in the living room of their townhouse.

Peter-- her Peter-- was standing before her.

Without a second thought, she rushed into his arms. The kids almost turned the hug into a full tackle, but he didn’t seem to mind. Mary Jane’s hands began to run up and down his back before she felt something on her hands. She pulled her hand back, and her stomach dropped.

Blood.

“Peter, what happened?” she asked.

“MJ, it’s not as bad as it looks, I swear,” Peter tried to reassure her.

But, he failed as he began to keel over.

“I’ll call 911,” Annie was the first to jump to the occasion, while Mary Jane put her hand over where she had found the wound.

Please... please be okay...

[i7scenarios]

Matchups!

I am thinking of opening up Matchups for the holidays! - please indicate your interest below- and if I get enough likes I will be opening them maybe on the 23-25th of December

Here are the rules I had last time with some changes of course!

(They are not open just yet so please don’t send anything in yet- just respond to this post to show interest!) 

----

Matchups!

What that is, is you send me a description of yourself, personality, likes, dislikes, hobbies, dreams for the future, etc. I will then match you up with one of the IDOLiSH7 characters based on who I personally think you would be suited for.

I don’t need you to give me a description of what you look like, gender, or whatever. You will only be matched with males. Here are the list of the boys I will do matches with.

IDOLiSH7

Iori, Yamato, Mitsuki, Tamaki, Sogo, Nagi, Riku

TRIGGER

Gaku, Tenn, Ryuunosuke

Re:vale

Momo, Yuki

ZOOL

Haruka, Toma, Minami, Torao

Managers

Banri, Rinto Okazaki, Shiro

(I was going to add Anesagi, but since she is only attracted to men, it would just be easier without her) (I’m also not including Ryo because I do not wish that bastard on any of you sweet lovely people ^^)

When submitting, it is likely you will go over the word limit, in that case please do a 1/3 2/3 3/3 at the top so if you are anon I will know it’s the same person. If you don't and are on anon then I won't be able to do your matchup~

Here I will give you an example of what to write and say about yourself- Note- you don’t have to be as personal as me, I’m just rather open ^^

I am a passionate person who is a huge animal lover. I was born a vegetarian, although I have a big sweet tooth. I love nature, be it the ocean, forests, parks, etc. I’m not the biggest outdoors person, but I do need to get out every now and then. I’m the kind of person who takes scenery photography vs selfies. I have had many health issues through my life, especially the last 10 years of my life. However, I became quite fascinated with Psychology due to my time suffering from multiple chronic diseases. I am very close to my father, however I no longer have contact with my mother. She was abusive and eventually it came to a point I had to end things with her so I could someday be happy and healthy. I love singing, hitting high and long notes feels really good. I enjoy drawing, reading and writing and am a huge otaku. I have a giant collection of goods which I treasure. I’ve always been a little odd, never really fitting in with my own age group. I never lie, I see no point to it. Due to this I can be rather blunt, but I don’t do it to be mean. I am a very kind person who is always thinking of others. I may seem gentle but I have a slight extreme streak. I have trouble dealing with people who aren’t very intelligent. I don’t cry easy anymore, if I do it’s for someone else. Animals really do mean everything to me, my biggest wish for this world is that people learn to treat them with respect, that they are living creatures like us who have emotions and feel love too. I believe nothing in life should be free, people need to work for things. If you want to succeed in life then you need to put in the effort. I believe everyone has struggles of their own, if people could just see that then I think this world would be a better place. I love IDOLiSH7 because watching and listening to them all makes me so happy. I love them all with all of my heart.  

A post that explains things like that about yourself is good! Of course you don’t need to get into personal details! I’m just personally rather open- but again the more info I have the more accurate your results will be! 

Here is an example of what NOT to write!

I’m 5′3″ with long brown hair and green/blue eyes. I’m a Sagittarius and I love any shades of blue, purple, pink. I love anime and music! I have a cat and he is really adorable <3 I love to sleep and snuggle with him! I love IDOLiSH7 and think Sogo is just the cutest thing ever <3333

See? From posts like that I really don’t learn anything about you... I will NOT respond to posts like this!

Rules

1. Do NOT state which character you like/want to be paired with! I want to match you with someone based on who you are and who I think would be a good partner for you.

2. Ages don’t matter! (DON’T POST YOUR AGE!) If you are 27 and I pair you with Tamaki who in the series is 17/18, just imagine your in a time when your ages are closer. It’s all for fun anyway.

3. Please please include page numbers like I stated above 1/2 2/2 on your requests.

4. Be as descriptive as you can, state your strong points and your weak points! Everyone has them so don’t feel ashamed at all.

5. You will only get ONE matchup! If you don’t like who I paired you with, I’m sorry but I will choose who I think will be a good life partner for you.

6. Note, I don’t believe you have to have everything in common with someone or like the same things to be with someone. For example, if you like sweets and dislike spicy food, that doesn't mean I won't pair you with Sogo, same if you love anime! That doesn't mean you will get Nagi. I will pair you based on what each other lack and what each other needs in their life.

7. This is all in good fun so please don’t be upset if I don’t match you with who you want. And please don’t purposely try to get a certain character, you already know you like them, so why not find out who I think is suited for you?

8. Please don’t include your gender label- it doesn’t make a difference in the results!!

I will write a small entry on what they love about you and why you two work as a couple. (Ignoring all the idol stuff and dating restrictions etc)

[acertainmoshke]

I Don't Fall

(This, unlike what I normally write, is actually a snippet about my own life as a disabled person not being listened to. It's kind of a rant in the form of prose. It happened a few years ago and I am not 25 anymore, but present tense felt right).

“How often do you fall?”

The question catches me off guard and I contemplate how to answer while staring at my stripey songs, wiggling my toes against the worn carpet. I’m sitting in an unfamiliar doctor’s office, in a tiny hot exam room, trying to talk to a doctor I don’t really know. He’s older, probably more than 70, and seems friendly, but I’m not sure he’s heard anything I’ve said.

“I…don’t really?” I stumble, ironically. I wasn’t expecting this. I don’t have an answer ready.

I think of all the times I didn’t fall, of the care I had to take to lift my foot up a curb, of scooting down the stairs on my butt. I think about getting stuck at the top of our outdoor steps in high school because they had no railing, 10 feet from the door but unable to make it. I think about my mother knowing how bad I’m feeling by whether I slur, my tongue growing clumsy with the rest of me. I think about spilling water, coffee, beer all over me and the couch and the floor because my hand didn’t go where I meant to send it. I think about being afraid to ride a bike or go hiking in case I have a balance spell and get stuck. I think about being mortified to admit I have to sit down because I can’t keep walking. I think about forcing my body into slow motion so that I won’t fall.

I don’t tell him any of this. Maybe he doesn’t give me the chance, or maybe I just can’t get my thoughts together in time. I won’t be sure later. The neurologist moves on with a little “hmm.”

He has me stand and walk across the little room in a straight line, toe to heel, while he watches. When I ask if I should close my eyes or not look at my feet, he says no it’s fine.

I know that if I can see my feet I can choose carefully where and how to place them. I know that I spent years learning how to move in a way that mimics normality, and that I can’t help it now.

I know that when I walk across the room I only wobble a little. Today, in all the unfairness of the universe, is a good balance day.

The neurologist says “hmmm” again and leaves to get some printouts. I fidget while I wait, hating myself for not explaining this well enough.

He returns and hands me papers on two of the most common neurological balance issues, cerebral palsy and muscular dystrophy. I know before I walk back through the tiny waiting room and into the scorching little parking lot that I don’t have either. I know that I told him this has been an issue since I could walk, and I know I told him that it’s never gotten better or worse, and I know I told him that it’s episodic and sometimes I can balance almost normally.

I google both in the car to double check my memory, but neither comes close to what I tried to describe. He didn’t even mention Meniere’s, which is at least in the right genre of problems. I sit in the car with my head on the wheel until I get too hot not to turn on the AC. I ignore the growing wobbliness and the slowed reaction time that comes with it. It’s not so bad that I can’t drive today.

Later, with no other research to go on, I will look up every possible thing related to the information he handed me, and I’ll stumble across something called episodic ataxia that describes in perfect detail my sudden spells of weakness and imbalance that can last for hours, worsened by fever or strong emotions like anxiety. I will even be able to narrow it down to type, although it helps that 6 of the 8 types are so rare as to only be identified in one or two families in the world. I will learn there is a genetic test for it, but I will not call that neurologist again. The struggles I’ll end up having with insurance over payment will mostly be a convenient excuse.

I know that my grandmother was diagnosed with Meniere’s mostly to have some sort of diagnosis, and that she loses her balance so badly that her husband has had to carry her to the car before. I know that my father has spells like mine—although I’ve never known him to be unable to drive so I suspect mine are worse—and was so careful not to talk about it that he accidentally taught me to hide my own spells. I know my mother was upset when she learned how bad it had been for years.

I know there was a doctor at 7 who told my mother nothing fit but Meniere’s, except I was too young for it. I know there was a doctor at 18 who told me nothing seemed wrong with my brain and he had no answers. I know there was a doctor at 22 who told me it definitely wasn’t Meniere’s because I’m not going deaf. I know that at 25 I’ll be happy just to have a label—which I had to find myself—and give up on doctors having a solution.

[bokettochild]

I absolutely want to hear about it! I love it when people talk about their special interests because they’re always so passionate and that makes it more interesting! I’m trying to write my own novel on the side, but I haven’t worked on it in a while. But I always love talking about that kind of stuff! :)

Well, I did warn you :)

The idea I wanted to pursue is that there is a world, not like ours, and not quite like any other either, This place is called Lofdar, and in it there is a great empire over which many lords and ladies, dukes and duchesses and any other number of nobles are fighting for.

The king of the empire has been absent for some time and many believe him to be dead, after all, he was quite old when last anyone saw him and it just makes sense that he'd've passed on by now. He does have a son, but his son is also absent and no one knows what's become of him over the years.

Hence a power struggle.

In the midst of all the fighting, there is a young boy (because girls are hard to write despite my being one) who is living in the country with his grandmother and two younger brothers. His paternal grandfather is a high lord and his father a great knight, but because the family is so busy, they allow their children to be raised by this kid's maternal grandmother, as is custom.

Kid is a bright little thing, although a bit odd and not quite human, although he's not entirely aware of that. As far as he knows, he just looks weird, and while he gets lots of flack for it, his grandmother and brothers are very supportive and he's relatively happy.

This kid (who's name is Leleo) is really close to his grandmother and brothers, and spends a lot of his days nerding out with his siblings about anchient heroes and legends, and his nights stargazing on the roof of his house until his Nana finds him, scolds him, joins him, and then sends him off to bed.

He's only just beginning to learn about his Nana's culture (because she and his mother aren't exactly human either) when invading forces from one of the other provinces attack their town. His Nana entrusts him with getting his siblings back to their parents, as well as anyone else he can help, while she joins the other village people in trying to defend themselves (being inhuman, Nana is still quite strong and spry and puts up a darn good fight).

Leleo takes his brothers to their parents, but only after reports of the attack have already reached them. The village was destroyed and most of the inhabitants taken as prisoners/slaves by the invading troops, Leleo's Nana among them.

This kid is obviously heartbroken and begs his knight father to try and save her, after all, they still have a chance while the enemy is behind their lines and they can't just abandon her, right?

Wrong.

Leleo's father makes it clear that it isn't worth it for one woman, much less one town, and the lord, Leleo's grandfather, tells him on no uncertain terms that he should consider it a blessing his witch of a grandmother is no longer bringing a curse on their land.

Naturally, this upsets our little hero (who's like twelve) but he knows better than to speak back (and is more than a little scared of his grandfather, since he knows the man hates him as well as his Nana).;p He doesn't listen to them though, even if he keeps his mouth shut about it.

See, this kid knows all the ancient legends and stories, including those about the fabled prince of the kingdom who will defend any innocent victim and all that jazz. Kid gets it in his head that he just needs to find the prince to get help in rescuing his grandma and the village people. He is, however, convinced that he needs to do something to be worth the Prince's time, since this man must have a lot going on, and so he embarks on a quest to find one of the fabled blades of the Heroes of Unity, which if he can collect, will prove that he is, at the very least, someone people should listen to instead of disregarding and talking over because he is a child and not human.

So, our tiny little hero sets off alone on a quest to, in a round about way, save the only adult who ever given a fig for him. Naturally, he's clueless and walks right into danger and get's captured himself, but that's the jist of how this whole book/series would start out.

I've been working out a plot and motivation for years since I created Leleo. Granted, he has gone through a few names, some truly anime level BS backstory writing and a ridiculous amount of trauma in that time, but I'm finally happy with how this is all starting, I just need to get the energy to write it and find an audience who isn't already sick of it lol

There's a ton of lore I worked out, past heroes, histories, customs, cultures, regions and provinces, other characters, their histories, their traumas and cultures and supporting characters. Honestly, I've tried so many world-builders for this and my brain is still full of rot. If you were in any way interested by this, I will 100% welcome questions, because I am happy to share it!

[bejun]

Hi there!! Thank you for all the welcomes, and sorry this wasn’t up already, but I’m BEAR { he/him. 21+ } and I’m super excited to finally have my boy SEO JUNHO { 20021031 } here. Junho is a muse very close to my heart, who I adore writing, so I can’t wait to plot and write with you all. Here you can find his PROFILE and BIO, and under the read more you’ll find some very basic facts about him, and a few ideas for desired connections. If you’d like to plot please don’t hesitate to send me a message, or like this post and I’ll send you one!! I also have a discord upon request. 

— TRIVIA

Junho was born and raised in San Francisco, California to a sickeningly well-off family. They lived on ‘Postcard Row’ in a beautiful Victorian house that his mother somewhat butchered the inside of by painting about 80% of it white

His father founded a large tech company, then bought his way into multiple others. His mother spent her time bothering Junho about his grades/appearance/manners/friends etc, and showing up to charity fundraisers for ‘appearances’

He moved to Seoul when he was 14 for his father’s work, and he was not pleased about it. Despite enjoying spending time there with grandparents throughout his childhood, he didn’t want to live there

He was pushed into a million-and-one extracurriculars by his mother, so rarely had free time, but since he never wanted to be at home, he definitely used socialising as an excuse to leave early and get home late

His family are serial vacationers—they’ve been pretty much everywhere, and it’s one of the few things he’s really thankful his parents did as he loves travelling and trying new food

He’s always been very reactive and emotional. He got in trouble when he was younger as he couldn’t control his emotions well and his parents encouraged him to basically repress everything, so now he just tends to explode after keeping everything bottled up for ages

Currently, Junho attends Yonsei (much to the shock of his entire family who never expected him to achieve much, despite their efforts to shoehorn him into success) studying Astronomy. He dreams of working at NASA

He used to dream of being an idol, but since he failed to pass multiple auditions throughout his teens he’s lost hope pretty much and is beginning to give up on that dream

Evidently, Junho loves outer space, and anything to do with it (movies, books, conspiracy theories about aliens coming to earth etc) but he’s also very interested in music (performance and creation), though he always had to hide most of this from his parents who only wanted him to listen to, and play, classical music

During his teens he used his allowance to secretly attend a performing arts academy where he learnt singing, dancing, rapping and general performance skills. He left when he graduated high school, and hasn’t touched many of those skills in a while (though he constantly wants to join dance classes, even just for more exercise)

Junho enjoys sports and fitness, and swims and boxes to relieve stress and negative emotions. He enjoys pretty much all sports, and will often try something new, or go for a long bike ride by himself to clear his head. He finds that the best way for him to process his volcanic emotions is to exert energy this way

He’s also spent the last year trying to come to terms with the fact he’s not straight, although it’s a very tumultuous journey. His family is very religious, and so he grew up surrounded by people all saying the same thing about morals and right and wrong, so he’s trying hard to unlearn that and be more comfortable with himself, but he’s still very much at the early stages of this journey

Also Junho’s extended family (not his parents—they don’t approve of nicknames) call him Junebug (do with this what you will)

— CONNECTIONS

Junho’s temper has, a few times, gotten him into fights. One notable time was shortly after he moved to South Korea, and witnessed a group of boys bullying someone. He didn’t even care what it was about, or the fact he didn’t know this person at all, he immediately stepped in and ended up in a fist fight with the bullies. He won the fight, but went home with a nice black eye and split lip. He kept in touch with the kid they’d been bullying though, so make sure he always had someone to call if he needed backup. { — Perhaps your muse was the kid being bullied, and they’ve stayed friends to this day. It could have happened anywhere in SK as Junho’s family vacationed all over even just for weekend trips. OR perhaps you were one of the kids doing the bullying, and remember Junho (and the injuries he left you with) from that day }

When Junho began to accept his sexuality he sort of pushed himself out of his comfort zone, trying to see if putting himself in situations with men would speed-run his road to acceptance. Unsurprisingly, this didn’t work out. { — Junho and your muse had a fling/short-term relationship last year. While Junho was never bad to your muse, he was stiff, sometimes hot, sometimes cold, just very unpredictable and probably too much work to be worth the effort. Things didn’t end terribly, but it’s quite likely that neither of them would say it ended well }

During high school, Junho mostly had a friend group of entirely undesirable guys. He didn’t intend to fall into that friend group, but he was instantly popular when he arrived, and so got ‘adopted’ into their friend group—rejecting their friendship would’ve been social-suicide. However, that didn’t stop him from being nice to everyone. { — Your muse went to high school with Junho and was (somewhat secretly) friends with him. As time went on, and he ditched that friend group, their bond only got stronger, and now he’d consider your muse one of his closest friends }

Since the ‘disaster’ (his words) relationship of last year, Junho’s been trying to let intimacy blossom naturally between him and men he grows close to. Your muse and Junho recently began something of a flirtationship, and the slow pace of it is helping him become more comfortable with his desires. { — They could have been friends for a long time, or as of only recently, but your muse and Junho have begun dipping their toes just past the line of normal friendship affection and playful flirting, into something a little more serious }

When he was in high school he had a girlfriend for a while. He was a good boyfriend—thoughtful, kind, attentive and always remembered significant dates, but his heart wasn’t in it, and it was obvious if you looked close enough. { — Your muse and Junho dated during high school, but your muse always knew Junho didn’t love her, at least not in a romantic way. You broke things off because of this, but Junho never really got over the unresolved feelings, as he was so sure he did love your muse, even if he, deep down, knew something was a bit off about it. Maybe your muse never really got over it too }

I’ll likely add more later (on a designated connections page) !!

[jodilin65]

I guess I’m gonna squeeze in one last entry for the year (it's actually shortly before midnight). That is if I can write and edit it before the clock strikes midnight.

Listening to some scattered fireworks now, but not as much as I expected. Haven’t heard any since I last mentioned them, so it hasn’t been nearly as bad as July 4th was. It’s only 46° which is pretty damn cold for Florida, so that may be why.

Again, I’m not looking forward to the year ahead, knowing that I’m most likely in for all kinds of health problems and fatigue. As crazy and as superstitious as it may sound, I still worry something up there wants me tired and to impact my day-to-day life to the point where I’m just existing and not living, and therefore it’s going to block any attempt I make to try to fix it. I don’t expect any success with weight loss either. You have to have a normal thyroid for that. I don’t know if I’ll be in for a mix of the same old ongoing problems and new ones, but hopefully, nothing will be as bad as a decade ago.

Too tired to go on now, so this will have to wait till next year.

Later…

Still exhausted but I watched the ball go down, and instead of being excited for the year ahead, I burst into tears suddenly and unexpectedly. It only lasted for a couple of minutes but I haven’t cried like that in ages.

Later still…

Placed an order on Temu for Swiffer dusters, flower stencils, and hangers for the 18-in doll clothes. I’ve got all this closet space so it would be nice if I hung them up rather than stuffed them in drawers and bins because I want to keep everything in good shape in case I decide to sell anything.

We’ve been talking about selling the treadmill, Bowflex, and the vibration platform but he might want to keep the Bowflex and I think I want to keep the platform a little longer. I’ll offer the treadmill up in the park group but we’ve got to discuss what we want to ask for it.

Anyway, after showering and eating I got a burst of energy and did a little cleaning among other odds and ends. I decided to try not to worry too much about the future of my health because, like most of us, we have little to no control over what may come our way. Even though I don’t normally make New Year’s resolutions because I figure anything worth making a resolution to do would be a good thing at any time of year, I do have a few goals. Now that I have new insurance and new doctors, I want information. I want to know about alternative sleep apnea treatments, I want to know if there’s a way around my thyroid issues that would help get some weight off, and I want to make one last-ditch effort to fight for the N24 drug. As I told Tom, I don’t know that I can live the rest of my life being tired half of the time so if worse comes to worst, I’ll have a serious decision to make but that has to be MY choice to make. But I’m not going to give up until I’ve tried everything I can possibly do that’s within my power to help myself.

The stomach cramp and yeast infection are improving (I think).

Although I’m still wary of the year ahead, I’m hoping that 2023 is indeed the year I slayed the dragon! As in the beast called anxiety that tormented me to no end for the better part of a decade. The beast that nearly drove me to kill myself and that would have succeeded if it weren’t for Tom. I still hate the thought of deserting him but one can only take so much suffering, although the fatigue is certainly the lesser evil. I can’t stress it enough when I say that between the medication side effects and the transition from perimenopause to menopause, it really took the word “anxiety” to a whole new level and gave it a whole new meaning that I had no idea existed. I still don’t want to get my hopes up too high as far as thinking I kicked the anxiety for good. The killer anxiety that sent waves of adrenaline through my chest and fucked with my mind. It hasn’t been a whole year. But the fact that the days I was anxious last year don’t even amount to a month is incredible! I may have to worry I’m not going to have enough energy to get through the day when I get up but no longer do I have to be afraid to wake up and be tortured with what was easily the worst feeling in the world.

I am a little worried about Adonis, though. It was his birthday yesterday and I realized I hadn’t heard from him in ages. The last thing I see on his wall was posted in July. I know he wasn’t in the greatest headspace last time we talked so I hope he’s okay. I sent him a message and posted on his profile so hopefully I’ll get an answer soon. I don’t even know if he left the Netherlands to meet Joy in Vietnam or what’s going on in his life. I know he was upset about some things going on in his country and the world in general.

I get him there! I don’t know what would be worse…to be stuck with Biden again or for Trump to get reelected. Biden has been giving billions and billions of our dollars away to other countries and letting thousands and thousands of immigrants burden our system, but if Trump gets in as I think will be the case, we can count on the loss of freedoms intensifying and maybe even some that affect us.

Just random bits and pieces of dreams lately that don’t make much sense. I don’t remember my dreams as much as I used to but last night I overheard one of Termite Tammy’s bratty kids saying she had a mild heart attack. I’m not going to check her wall as I haven’t in quite a while because I just don’t care anymore. Not about her, not about her brood. They can live, die, be happy, be miserable, be successful, be failures, be healthy, be unhealthy… it’s all the same to me. I’ll never be able to forgive them or the people in Arizona but they’re not at the forefront of my life and mind anymore and they never will be again because I won’t be dumb enough to let them.

I also had a dream that I was supposed to ride my bike to some kind of art class while Tom was out (working?) but I didn’t go because it was too cold and started snowing.

Then there was another dream where we weren’t living in an adult community. Our house was on a large lot sort of behind a larger house in which someone recently moved into. They had a partially submerged basement and I peeked through the blinds to see a guy rummaging through a bunch of tools and other shit. I was worried I was going to be in for all kinds of noise.

In the last dream, I was hitting the road only it was in real life and I was jogging. I was jogging down a street filled with heavy traffic at a comfortable pace.

I miss the days when I was able to do that but I’m definitely not in that kind of shape anymore due to the fatigue holding me back. Even if I was in great shape, that’s not something I could do during the summers here. I’d have to jog in place since the house is too small to really run around much in.

[thisaintascenereviews]

Bayside - There Are Worse Things Than Being Alive

When I “retired” from writing about music back in 2018, one of the main reasons I just didn’t feel the same passion for writing about music that I once did is that I just didn’t listen to a lot of stuff I had anything worth a damn to say anything about. I’ve since implemented a rule for myself that constitutes having something unique to say about something, versus just saying it’s good, bad, or generic, because I’ve said that about many albums over the years. I’m not trying to be one of those “there’s no good music these days” people, but I’ve become more selective with what I listen to, partially for how much forgettable stuff there is. I also ran into an issue with a lot of bands and artists for just sounding the same throughout every album they put out. You have to give credit to these bands for being consistent, but I’m mixed on bands whose sound never changes.

On one hand, bands whose sound don’t change get stale fast, but that’s if you don’t like or love that sound. It’s a case by case basis, but even then, I love for bands to evolve and try new things (although I’m less critical when it comes to bands just doing stuff that sounds cool and that’s fun). Bayside is a band that I’ve always thought of when it comes to this idea, because as much as I like their brand of pop-punk that incorporates heavier guitar riffs from time to time, their albums have a tendency to sound the same. I enjoy a lot of their stuff, too, but a lot of their albums are near identical to each other. I was kind of skeptical about their new album, There Are Worse Things Than Being Alive, despite liking their last couple of albums. I suppose there is an upside to a band being consistent — you know what you’re going to get, and the same can be said with this album, at least to a degree.

This album is a Bayside album through and through, in that you hear their brand of pop-punk with elements of hard-rock and heavy metal, but they prove that even after over 20 years of releasing music, they’ve got some new tricks up their sleeves. I gotta say that I really enjoy this album, and it’s one of my favorites that I’ve heard from them, at least right under 2007’s The Walking Wounded. That was the first album I ever heard from them way back in my freshman year of high school, but There Are Worse Things rivals that at some points. This is one hell of a Bayside album, and I have a blast listening to this every time.

Along with their usual sound, this album may be their catchiest and heaviest at the same time. There are hooks for days on this thing, but their guitarist is able to really let loose a few times here. There are a couple of songs with what sound like thrash riffs, as well as some awesome solos. Their guitarwork was always one of their biggest strengths, and it seems like they upped it here. Vocalist Anthony Raneri is also a lot of fun here; his vocals aren’t anything amazing, but he does have a unique voice, and he is able to craft some solid melodies and hooks here. His range isn’t usually quite high, but his voice is the best it’s sounded in years here.

Maybe it was the five-year gap in between albums, despite releasing a few small EPs over the last couple of years, or something else entirely, but this album is surprisingly a breath of fresh air for them, and I absolutely love it. If you’re a huge fan of these guys, you should really enjoy this record, too. It’s got everything that people already love about this band, and then some, but it has a few new tricks, such as some catchy hooks and heavier guitar riffs. It feels like they wanted to lean into certain aspects of their sound that they don’t lean into a lot, and while their hooks are usually competent, they’ve never been this syrupy sweet before.

At the same time, their guitar riffs have never been this razor sharp and menacing before, either. You could throw some of those in a thrash band and they’d fit right in. At only 36 minutes, this is a short album, too, so it never feels as though it goes on too long. I suppose the only real complaint I have is that the lyrics aren’t anything to write home about, but they’re still written well, and there are some nuggets I really enjoy. This may possibly be one of my favorite albums at the end of the year, and I would definitely recommend it. Bayside is one of those bands that I’ve always thought were too consistent, but they really proved me wrong here.