#(I was definitely using that app but let’s not dwell on it)

[awinchestershell]

Happy 6th birthday to the fanfiction that truly ignited my writing fire. It’s 45k+ words and 29 chapters and I reread it every month or so just for inspiration cuz trust me it sucks but I love it anyway. 15 year old me was a word-vomit powerhouse but she wasn’t exactly Suzanne Collins. Even today, give me an hour and I’ll pump out a 5k word oneshot without breaking a sweat, but it’ll be FULL of inconsistencies and grammar mistakes and flat out typos. Nonetheless, I fucking love this story and I’m proud of my skill at that time considering before I started fanfic writing I’d had literally no creative writing experience. It was just something I sort of picked up and guessed how it was done and corrected things as I went along. Anyway, happy birthday to my hobby!

[illiterateaffairs]

DISTRACTIONS SCENE BETWEEN | STAY LIKE THIS FOREVER

pairing: jamie tartt x f!reader (ted lasso)

rating: T

word count: 1,190

summary: the first time you spend the night at jamie’s place. this takes place between chapters three and four of distractions. 

A/N: here is the first missing scene from distractions! sorry this is posted so late but it’s still monday for me! i plan on doing a few of these here and there, and will be posting another for ted day tomorrow. please let me know if there are any other moments, either mentioned or implied, you’d like to see from distractions! because i had a busy memorial day weekend, i haven’t had the chance to get chapter seven of distractions in a perfect place, so want to make sure you guys have some small things to hold you over. chapter seven should be out friday!

distractions masterlist 

There were a lot of things that brought you to Jamie’s door that night. 

One was homesickness. You had made the mistake of going on Facebook - a mistake in and of itself - and happened upon pictures of your extended family at a get-together for God knows what. It really didn’t matter. It was just a reminder of what you were missing, even before moving to another continent. You could count on one hand the number of times you got to go home to see your dads in the last few years, and lately it's been hitting you harder how much you missed them.

The second was also Facebook's fault. As you continued scrolling through the app in a depressed haze, you’d happened upon a post from Mason’s mom. God you really needed to unfriend him and his whole family. She had posted pictures of their family; Mason and Chloe included. Without even thinking, you’d clicked on Mason’s profile and saw his updated status.

In a relationship.

He and Chloe were Facebook official. 

While this didn’t surprise you, it still didn’t make you feel good. It was embarrassing the hold he still had on you, even though you’ve long since realized you deserved better than him. It just wasn’t fair that he got to flaunt his perfect, new relationship even though he fucked up and cheated. Eventually, you knew you’d stop caring, but right now all you needed was to get your mind off of your ex and his new girlfriend immediately. 

The third reason you came to see Jamie was a bit more complicated, and you didn’t even fully understand it. The reason being that you just really wanted to see him. You chalked it up to being lonely and horny, and didn’t dwell on the swirling feelings any longer than you should’ve. 

You knocked on his door around 10PM. You were worried he might already be asleep, or out training with Roy. You felt more relieved than you should when you heard the pads of his feet approach the front door. When he opened it, his first reaction was one of surprise, before his expression became pleased. He barely had time to formulate a greeting when your lips were on his. Jamie didn’t need instructions. He immediately hoisted you into his arms and carried you to his room. 

While you were used to Jamie’s generosity in bed, he was extra giving that night. You’d quickly learned it was because he’d sensed your tension. After round three or four - you couldn’t keep track - you and Jamie were laying side by side. He’d slowly turned to face you, and pulled his sheets up to cover you both. He gently thumbed your chin, coaxing you to face him as well. 

“Are you alright?” he’d asked softly. 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” 

Jamie shrugged, “You’re quieter than usual.”

You chuckled, “What? I wasn’t loud enough for you before?”

He rolled his eyes, but smirked slightly, “No, I mean, you’re usually more talkative.”

“Are you saying I talk too much?”

You realized his hand was still making contact with your face when he reached down to lightly pinch your shoulder, “Stop it. I like when you talk, but you’ve barely said a word since you’ve been here. And while I definitely do not mind the surprise visit, you’ve never come to my place before. Just wondering if something happened.”

You sighed, no longer able to meet his eye. “It’s really nothing. Was just feeling off today.”

Jamie hummed, “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I don’t think so,” you shook your head, “Not right now.” 

“Okay. Do you want to talk about anything?”

“Hmm,” you basked in his attention and the way he was playing with your hair for a second, “What did you want to be when you grew up?”

“What?” Jamie let out a confused laugh. 

“You know, like when you were a kid, did you always want to be a football player, or did you want to be something else?”

“Huh,” Jamie thought for a beat, “I feel like I don’t remember a time when I didn’t want to be a footballer. After my mom got me into it, I never looked back.”

“That doesn’t surprise me,” you mused.

“What about you?” he asked after a few seconds. 

“I think in kindergarten I wanted to be a ballerina because I watched Barbie Swan Lake.”

“Of course.”

“And then when I was 9 or 10 I wanted to be a meteorologist. Or no, a storm chaser!” 

Jamie laughed loudly, “What? Why?”

“I don’t know. I watched the Wizard of Oz and thought tornadoes were cool as hell.”

“I think that’s the opposite of what you’re supposed to think.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not like other girls,” you both laughed. “But then in middle school, I took my first creative writing class and I was hooked. I felt like I could write forever.” 

“Is that what you did before you came here?” he questioned.

“Sort of. I wrote for an advertising agency, but I wasn’t passionate about it. What I really want to do is be an author,” you admitted quietly.

“Yeah? That’d be so cool.” Jamie whispered, still twisting your hair between his fingers. 

“I think so, too,” you smiled a bit, “But I just haven’t had any inspiration lately.”

Jamie nodded, “Well I bet when you do start writing again, it’ll be great.”

“How would you know? You’ve never read my writing.”

“I just know.” After another few beats of silence, he continues even quieter, “Would you ever let me read something of yours, when you do?”

You studied him through your lashes, before giving him a tiny smile of your own. “Maybe,” you respond coyly. “You have to promise to lie to me and tell me you love it even if you hate it, though.”

Jamie huffs, “I doubt that’ll happen, but I promise.” 

“Thank you.”

You and Jamie kept chatting for a few more minutes before your eyelids grew heavy. As you drifted off, you note how comfortable and at ease you feel with Jamie. Whether it's when you’re hooking up, or just enjoying each other’s company, you feel nice and safe. It was a new feeling, and you didn’t know what it meant, especially when you were half asleep, but you liked it. 

The two of you slept soundly, wrapped up in one another, until around 4AM when you heard pounding coming from the front door. Without opening your eyes, you groan as you feel Jamie pull himself out of bed and out of your arms. 

“I’m sorry, it’s Roy,” he whispered, “I’ve got to get to training.” 

You let out another noise of protest and Jamie chuckled quietly. 

“Next time we stay at my place where Roy can’t find us,” you mumbled tiredly.

“Sounds good to me.”

You barely registered what must have been Jamie kissing your cheek before you’re falling back asleep. 

You were fully out again as Jamie quickly and quietly got ready. Before he jogged downstairs to meet Roy, he indulged himself with one last lingering look at your sleeping form. 

God, you were cute.

A/N: once again, please let me know what you think!! and if there are any other missing scenes you’d like to see! <3 p.s. anyone who asked to be on the taglist today/yesterday I will make sure you’re included in my post tomorrow!

Taglist: @atabigail @boundtomyfate @sammysgirl1997 @lil-tracys @shephard17895 @alaspice @itsbarbraann @redpool @drmeghanjones @straightforwardly @alex-sulli @aiyaiy @artemismaximoff @roadtoself-love @theloud-yet-quietone @forcesofgrief @kirisimpster @geek-and-proud @grippleback-galaxy @lalla-04p @gabbycoady13 @royalestrellas @qardasngan @creationcitystreet-em @percysaidnever @emily-b @mrfitzsimmons @k-n-e @agentstarkid @legobatmans9thab @mrsprongs25 @escapismqueen @sokkigarden @for-fuck-sake-im-alive @dollfaceyourfear @dicgohargreeves @heyitz-julia @vampirodelascajas @grxcesmind @lizziel1410 @bcon24 @looooooooomis @queen-of-dumbasses @moseyluvs @alipap3 @amachira @respondingtoshowerthoughts-blog @daphneblakeswife​ @chelseamount​ @k0z3me​ @lickitandsendit3​ @miakreid​ @shimmeringfrenchie​  @meg-ro​ ​@spookysins @a-sweet-little-fangirl @optimisticsandwichgladiator @marveltg365 @ringpopdust @gcidrvsh @beardsplitter @scaramou   @ibong-adarnaaa @piper570 @eviemae263782 it wouldn’t let me tag the last few of you, let me know if its something with your settings, otherwise i can keep trying in future updates! <3  ​

[teabutmakeitazure]

Prerogative

>Yan! Modern! Childe x Fem! Reader

a/n: Childe my little skrunkly. I feel bad for how you always fail to woo your beloved

Warnings: mentions of drugging, suggestive, a little blackmailing, Childe being a parasite

Word count: 2.3k

✧⁠◝⁠◜⁠✧◝⁠◜⁠✧◝⁠◜⁠✧◝⁠◜⁠✧◝⁠◜⁠✧◝⁠◜⁠✧◝⁠◜⁠✧◝⁠◜⁠✧◝⁠◜⁠✧◝⁠◜⁠✧

The only thing stopping you from strangling the smiling idiot seated across you is the presence of your family and the public. Who does he think he is to just casually saunter over to you while you were having dinner with your parents and act like you’re good friends? And why is he bragging about how well off he is?

Most importantly, why do your parents look impressed?

Your mother keeps elbowing your side as she talks, gesturing you to partake in conversation as well. However, you remain silent upon failing to believe in your ability to stay civil. The man with the smug grin on his face is the receiver of your malice and hatred. How can you be expected to stay civilised?

When he laughs at a particular incident from your childhood that is currently being narrated by your father, you have to bite your tongue to push back any unwanted comments. The scene before you resembles that of an ordinary family laughing and conversing with no care of the world. If only your parents knew how disgusting and manipulative he is, they wouldn’t be talking to him so freely about your childhood.

The sound of the three chatting away blends in with the sound of clattering dishes and other patrons in the restaurant. Before your mind can combust, you quietly excuse yourself to the bathroom. Your mother merely waves you off, too interested in the conversation currently taking place. Shoes audibly clicking against the bathroom tiles, you pace back and forth restlessly.

There’s the possibility that he might announce his interest in you while you’re gone and play off your behaviour as your rejection of his feelings. He might even be flaunting his wealth while stealthily leaving out the source of it lest he accidentally ruin his image. Had he not been a borderline psychopathic criminal, you might have considered him as a partner. But there’s no use dwelling on something you can’t change.

What you need to do now is distance your parents from him. You don’t want them to get tangled up with him. Knowing him, he wouldn’t hesitate to use them to his leverage. Just the thought of it makes you anxious. Who knows what schemes are cooking up in his head.

After splashing some water on your face, you calm your shaking hands and slowly make your way outside, taking hesitant steps towards the table everyone was recently seated at. To your surprise, your parents aren’t there. It’s only him.

“What took you so long?”

You don’t bother to sit down, choosing to jump straight away to question him back. “Where are they?”

“They left,” he smiles.

“Left?”

“Yeah. They said that I should take you home instead and talk out whatever ‘issues’ we have.”

You can’t believe this. Did your parents really buy his lie of the two of you having an argument? How can you make them understand that you’re being forced to acknowledge him? That you don’t want anything to do with him?

In one smooth motion, he’s standing. “Let’s go. I’ll drop you home.”

“I can go by myself.”

He gives you a warning glare, the lifeless eyes and strained smile giving the message to shut your mouth and go with it. It takes the finishing touch of him grabbing your wrist painfully to make you move.

Once outside, you’re pushed into his car before you can even feel the winter air on your face. He immediately locks the doors and puts on your seatbelt for you, smiling to himself before he starts the car. It’s when you’re on a road that most definitely doesn’t lead to your house that you ask him where he’s taking you.

“Home,” he replies.

“This is the wrong way. Childe, turn back.”

He doesn’t grace you with a response. Exasperated, you plead again only to be met with silence, the kind that clearly shows he’s done with you and would appreciate it if you stayed quiet, even being as bold as to let his hand brush your thigh whenever he holds the gear.

You know this is wrong. You know it’s not going to be a pleasant night. You know he’s going to threaten you again. You know you’re going to lose.

When he parks the car in the underground parking lot, you start readying answers in your head. The silence in the elevator weighs you down physically. It feels like a boulder on your chest, making you dizzy and lightheaded but before you can dwell on that, he grabs your hand and leads you out.

Soon, you’re quietly seated on the living room sofa, silently eyeing what you can see of the twentieth floor view from the window or glass wall. Whichever describes it best.

He quickly discards his jacket, washes his hands and hums to himself as he brings out a bottle of juice from the fridge. Upon noticing the way you carefully watch his movements, he freezes.

“I’m getting juice specifically because you don’t trust me. It’s sealed! I can’t drug you with this, sheesh.”

Technically, he has never drugged you. You have never even gotten any bad intentions from him whenever he gives you something to eat or drink, but considering that he did very recently casually say that if all else fails, he can just slip in some sedative in your food and take you away, you’ve been careful.

The expensive velvet of the sofa feels soft under your palms. Out of fatigue, you rest your head on the armrest, closing your eyes as you manoeuvre yourself to get comfortable. He soon returns with two glasses and attentively watches you as your breathing relaxes. The fact that you find comfort here now is significant progress to him.

The first family member he had met was your sister. After ‘coincidentally’ running into her at a library, he introduced himself as your friend all the while dropping subtle hints about his affections. Next were your friends and now, your parents. Honestly, the fact that you didn’t tell him off in front of them is worth rewarding you over.

Maybe he’ll get you something you want. Let you choose what you’d like as a reward. He would give you anything. Anything except freedom of course. If you deny, he could perhaps get you a choker necklace. Your neck just looks too empty without something of his.

“Why did you bring me here,” you mumble. Voice muffled by your forearm, your eyes remain closed. “I wanted to go home.”

“You are home.”

“I’m not.”

“Your father really likes me. Your mother too. They asked me when they could see me again. It came as a shocker to me as well, but they wanted me to come over to their place, alone, for lunch.”

You don’t like where this is going.

“[Name], even your parents like me. Why not you?”

You scoff at the question, slowly raising yourself to sit up. “Have you looked in a mirror? Or evaluated yourself recently? I’m sorry, but my type aren’t criminals who own more guns than cutlery.”

An unamused expression is now present on his face. He infiltrated your life like some sort of parasite. You can’t shake him off, and trying to remove him just harms you instead. He’s ruthless in his pursuit. The only thing stopping him from actually kidnapping you is missing out on your agony when you watch him freely converse and insert himself into your family as a prized prospective son-in-law. It makes you sick and he relishes it.

"Oh come ooonn,” he whines. “All that’s for work. I don’t keep any weapons at home. Besides, I don’t need a gun. You know how good I am with a knife.”

The excited gleam in his eyes is just… disturbing. Upon getting no reaction from you, he gets up from his seat across from you and plops down on the other end of the sofa. Setting his glass on the table with a clink, he now rests his face on his palm as he looks at you.

His eyes attentively watch you stare back at him in anticipation. You feel like a prisoner being watched by surveillance cameras, waiting for any kind of reprieve from the unnerving silence. In all the time that you’ve known him, you have learnt that his silence is worse than him chatting away your ear.

Silence means that he’s cooking up some wretched scheme. Something that you won’t be getting out of. Last week you denied going out with him by using the dinner with your parents as an excuse. His signature silence followed, and tonight he crashed the party by appearing out of thin air in the restaurant and woo-ing your parents.

Speaking from other prior experiences as well, you don’t want to know what he’s thinking right now.

“Why don’t you stay the night? I’ll appreciate the company.”

Oh he did not just suggest that.

Indignance written on your face, you hardly sputter out a reply, the shock from his suggestion still present. “W-why? It’s not that late. I’ll go home.”

“Contrary to my choice of wording, I didn’t mean it as a choice,” he smiles.

“No. I’m not… I can’t stay the night. I’ll go home by myself. You won’t have to trouble yourself with dropping me off. I’ll just get a cab-”

“[Name].”

You gulp. There it is. That serious tone where his voice feels anything but reassuring. The smile previously on his face is nowhere to be found, and all emotion drains from his face.

When he speaks again, you realise your heart was pounding furiously against your chest.

“You will stay the night. I’ll drop you to your apartment tomorrow after lunch, and this weekend you will come with me to your parents’ house.” Slowly, he moves towards where you’re seated, frozen in place as you hear him continue. “You will laugh at the jokes I tell and tell your parents the misunderstanding has been dealt with. They’ll appreciate the company and even your sister will be happy for you.”

His thighs press into your own, hands grabbing your cheeks and momentarily giving them a painful squeeze.

“I hope I’ve made myself clear.”

Without breaking eye contact, you manage to bargain. “Let me go home, and I’ll do the rest of what you said. I don’t want to stay the night.”

He tilts his head, brows furrowing as his thumbs brush your cheeks. “Why not? It’s just sleeping.”

First he says that it wasn’t a request. Then he asks why like you have a choice on the matter. Why must he always give you the illusion of choice? Is it to make you feel like you put yourself in the situation?

“Like I said a few weeks back, Childe. I’m not comfortable with all this. Heck, I don’t even want all this!”

“Do you have any idea of how lucky you are?”

“How is any of this lucky-”

“You have one of the most powerful men in the entire continent pining after you. With me, you never need to care about trivial matters like money or accessibility. I’m not even an asshole like my coworkers are. All I want to do is keep you close to me. What’s so unlucky about that?”

“I never wanted a criminal to be pining after me.”

“Have you ever considered looking over unimportant details?”

You scoff at the question. “I think we have different meanings of ‘unimportant’.”

Instead of an answer, he grabs your thigh and moves you to straddle him. Arms now wrapped around your hips, he looks up at your flustered expression with a smirk.

“Maybe I’ve spoiled you too much. That’s why you’re talking back. Maybe… I should have you move in with me. How does that sound?”

“Never in a million years.”

“Well, I guess I’ll just pick you up everyday in the evening and bring you here.”

“Childe… why did you get my parents involved?”

“It’s only fair they meet their future son-in-law, right?”

“Excuse me?”

A look of smug victory appears on his face.

“Move in with me, and I might consider excusing you. We wouldn’t want your parents to accidentally lose all their assets, would we?”

Swallowing down a bitter reply, you apologise. Being the bastard that he is, he rests his head where your neck meets your shoulder. You can feel the way he’s smiling against your skin. It disgusts you but you let him do as he pleases.

After a few minutes of silence, you try again. "Childe, please… let me go home."

"Fine. I'll come with you then."

"What?"

"You want to go home so badly. If you can't stay with me, I'll stay with you."

You do not want to let a murderer sleep in your humble apartment. Thankfully, he catches on and teasingly squeezes what he can grab of your hips. As he stays in his blissful trance, you gather the courage to try something else.

"Childe, what exactly do you want?"

He retreats his face and looks at you with owlish eyes. "You, obviously."

The sincere and innocent tone almost makes you melt. Almost.

"If you wanted me, you wouldn't be doing any of this."

"Well," he leans in, noses brushing, "I guess I'm too much of a sinner to have a saint like you, so I'll have to trap you like a bird in a cage."

"Aren't you just romantic?"

Childe smiles, eyes closing as he rests his forehead against yours. When his lips find their place on your neck, you can only pray that he won't be too hard on you.

[bengiyo]

She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat 2 Eps 9-12 Stray Thoughts

Last time, Nomoto and her new online friend had a watch party and discussed the nature of asexuality and homosexuality coexisting, and Nomoto shared about being in love with Kasuga; I'm a big fan of Yako. The ladies managed to connect more with Nagumo, and we learned she has an eating disorder where she can't eat in front of strangers. However, she did make donuts with them and took some home. Kasuga also managed to sever ties with her father after thinking about it and talking with other women. She asked if Nomoto would support her, and of course she did. I will never stop thinking about the Chosen Family scene.

Episode 9

Yes, Yako, coach her. We cannot let them exit this season without talking through their feelings for each other.

I have never identified with a character more than Yako. I would also enjoy my food and wine while watching my friend sweat over the crush.

Yako backstory! It really is hard in your teens when you are deeply out of alignment with other queers about sex.

The power went out and Kasuga immediately went to check on Nomoto. You love to see it.

NOMOTO IS WEARING ONE OF KASUGA'S SWEATERS, AND KASUGA JUST PULLED LINT FROM HER HAIR. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

Thank you, Nagumo! It would be awkward as hell to sit in this zone of lesbian love and not know what stage we were on!

We have verbal confirmation that Kasuga likes Nomoto! Nagumo, you are our champion! You have to get these two to the next level!!

Currently dwelling on Kasuga not lying when asked directly about her feelings. There's a difference between being out and letting people in, and I like that Kasuga told her truth to Nagumo.

Episode 10

Their project manager is at least being upfront with them that they're being asked to rebuild the entire app.

Sorry, Kasuga, but it's not often we escape compulsory heterosexuality and still have a positive interaction in a sales environment like this.

Nagumo, I love you. You have finally given us a reason to have Kasuga voice her thoughts aloud.

This show really said plainly that the presumption of heteronormativity hurts and upsets people who don't fit that mold.

I really love this show detailing how harrowing pining is when you don't know if the other person is queer and the relationship you've built means so much to you.

Episode 11

Episode 21, you aired on Valentine's Day. Please don't let me down.

This former Valentine's Day and White Day gifting tradition sounds tedious as hell.

I didn't expect Kasuga's family troubles to end with that one phone call, and here goes the aunt downplaying Kasuga's feelings and bulldozing over her expressed boundaries.

Okay, Mikami! Way to come through for my girls!!

I wanna have hotpot so bad right now.

I'm so nervous about these chocolates!!

Damn, this cake looks good. I like putting the whipped cream on the side.

Kasuga picked out different chocolates! I'm so proud of her!

Now, Kasuga, why would you go and crush me like that on Valentine's Day? I know why you need to move, but goddamn.

Episode 12

Invoices for raising her? Vile.

Queers apologizing for being selfish when they confess will never not make me cry.

I'm sorry I got a bit testy at the dramatic cliffhanger, Kasuga. You came through for me exactly the way I hoped. Y'all should definitely find a bigger place together and stay in touch with Nagumo.

"I am very delighted and also taken aback." She's like me and I love her.

Aww that was so beautiful, and she's still crying.

I'm so glad she told Sayama immediately. We stay winning.

Man, I just watched I Only Want to See You, and I'm feeling the same difficulty in the transition from friendship to romance in the relationship.

Yes, ladies, thank you for talking through telling others and reaffirming that this is definitely a romance. Let's make sure no one, especially the audience, misunderstands.

I love how Nomoto bursts into tears when she swoons.

Oh snap the whole squad is going to meet Yako next week!!!

We did it, y'all! We got to see them confess their feelings and start dating. I'm so looking forward to seeing their relationship grow and mature, and I'm actually looking forward to the move and the attendant drama that brings. I hope Nagumo doesn't end up thinking that asking about their relationship somehow cost her the relationship she's been building with them. This was an excellent week of episodes.

Big thanks to @furritsubs for making this possible.

[singguks]

city of hearts, ep. 1 ❤️‍🩹 taehyung

synopsis. having experienced a fateful romance by the beach, taehyung sets out on a quest through seoul's bustling streets to locate the woman who has stolen his heart.

pairing. taehyung x oc

genre. social media auㆍgamedesigner!tae ( angst. fluff. smut. )

word count. 5623

warnings. adulthood romance things cof cof implicit

a/n. i couldn't possibly start another au, but she said the word and so i did. happy birthday to my bestie, whom i'd love to see more often even though we talk every day ☆ thank you for being my person through and through ! this is my love letter to you, miss bubbles ♡

episodes. 01 ▸ 02 ▸ 03

▸ E1: True or False?

One day we got curious as to how men and women date in this city. To satisfy our curiosity, we discussed the beginning of a new project, that required us to follow the lives of several men and women in Seoul.

For it to be real, we won’t intervene in their lives. Only when we think it’s necessary, we will share their answers with others, or maybe edit them to make this entertaining—all the while keeping their original words. 

It’s worth telling that fifty individuals around Seoul were chosen for this project. Still, they will all be participating with nicknames to protect their privacy—as we usually do when it comes to the internet. They all had to promise to treat their phones as their friends, as well as the app we developed where we will be posting questions, and telling only the truth. 

But some answers and behaviors made us wonder if they indeed were telling us like it really is.

[ note that some of their answers will be through text, others, like this one, will be taken as voice notes. all voices undergo a modification due to privacy issues. ]

ılı.lıl taehyung: I’m the cool type… and uhm, gentle. Definitely not clingy. I’m cool. 

ılı.lıl deo: I keep true to myself when I date… and when I break up too. 

ılı.lıl kie: I’d say I fall in and out of love pretty fast. What can I say? I’m passionate. *chuckles* And if I have to break up, I just do it. I won’t dwell much. 

ılı.lıl yoongi: What’s even the point of getting laid? *tsk* It’s a hassle… 

ılı.lıl jin: I’m not one to play games. I don’t like that. I think overall I’m a pretty good guy. 

ılı.lıl harin: Before my current boyfriend, well, I think I dated around uhm… Four men? No, three…? Wait. Let me retake this just once! *laughs* 

So, whether the participants are telling the truth… well, we will let you be the judge of that. 

⫰

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boreo 🤔

bluengrey For me, it’s women I can have fun with.

boreo men that I can talk to?

⤷ callmerinie huh? talking isn’t everything

tangerimin A physical connection, people. 

supertuna Are you asking what I think you’re asking?

notmekeys why are you all acting so innocent? kkk

boreo oh- 

tangerimin Why can’t you all say it? It’s just whatever. Just say it. You know, like bang!

⤷ boreo i got it now. 

callmerinie 🤭

callmerinie and cut~!

boreo so if it’s about intimacy..

⤷ notmekeys i think i know just by the smell. you know, it’s all about pheromones

supertuna Doesn’t it depend on the man? At least I think so. 

⤷ callmerinie wow! really? you’re giving yourself too much credit. 😒

bluengrey Uhm.. Usually I take the lead if it’s about that. 

⤷ boreo uh-huh. do you really? 

⤷ bluengrey Ok. Fine. There was this one time that I followed the girl’s lead. 

⤷ bluengrey One time, okay? 

⤷ boreo doubt it

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bluengrey Dating? I don’t think so

⤷ supertuna No. I think it is. 

boreo dating really changed my point of view about that

tangerimin If you guys are putting it that way, I’ve dated many women. I loved it every time. 

⤷ callmerinie aww… and what the girls had to say about this?

⤷ notmekeys about men? well, you know. they are all the same: trash. 

⤷ boreo not all… i mean. there’s someone i know that wasn’t 

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boreo yes. there is someone i can’t forget. 

bluengrey I do. 

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[ note that this request was sent privately to users bluengrey and boreo and we edited the sequence of their answers according to our own motives and the following questioning. ]

ılı.lıl deo: It happened one year ago…

ılı.lıl taehyung: She was the only one I could see. Like I was just gravitating in her orbit… Like we were in a world of our own. I felt complete. 

ılı.lıl deo: I felt this spark every time I would catch him staring at me and then I simply couldn’t look away.

ılı.lıl taehyung: Back then I thought “Wah, this is what love feels like” *chuckles sadly*

ılı.lıl deo: I’ll always remember him. 

ılı.lıl taehyung: If that is really the case… I don’t think someone ends a relationship if they feel that way. 

ılı.lıl deo: It was my fault. 

ılı.lıl taehyung: You know, it was my fault… 

ılı.lıl taehyung: No… It’s true, she messed it up. 

ılı.lıl deo: I won’t make excuses.

ılı.lıl taehyung: I mean… Of all the people… Why me? Why did it have to be me?

ılı.lıl deo: Simply put, we met at a time when I needed someone like him. Thanks to him, I became who I am now... 

ılı.lıl taehyung: I wish I had never met her. *sighs* I was such a fool now that I think back. 

ılı.lıl deo: *smiles* Being around him.. his love was kind of magical...

⫰

august 10th, 2022 

Summer is at its peak and Taehyung has just arrived at Jeju airport. It has been a while since he last had some time to himself due to work, so to say he couldn’t wait for this much-deserving vacation is an understatement. 

He organized everything at the company before he took off for this get-away, from the ongoing projects ideas he had recently pitched in, to the files the design team would need the next fifteen days he was away. And if you know Taehyung, you also know being organized was never his forte. 

The game designer waits absentmindedly with his luggage by his foot, as he takes his beloved camera out of its case to finally point at the structure behind him. This airport isn’t the biggest one he had ever set foot on, he observes, but it is cozy enough and bustling with people everywhere to the point his fingers itch for the metal click of the equipment for a piece of nostalgia he held dear to his heart. 

Just around the corner, Deo hit the brakes of the jeep as she waits for a group of tourists to cross to the other sidewalk while talking to her boss on the phone. 

“It would’ve been much easier if you had just asked him for a selfie or something, Yumi–” 

She hears her boss laugh through the speakers as she looks out of the window. The place is packed to the point she can barely see the pick-up line where the Ubers and Taxis usually park, and a wave of worriedness falls upon her. “Let’s go through with his description once again.” 

“Ok, remember… He’s tall, and the last time he came he had blonde hair but that might not be the case anymore… Mmm, he has a nice shoulder line– Just trust me, his face will be hard to miss. He’s really handsome!” 

The confession has Deo opening a smile. She met Yumi just a couple of weeks back when she arrived in Jeju herself, but the connection was instant. 

For the first three days, she stayed at Yumi’s shack—the colorful hostel by the beach owned by Yumi herself and her long-time fiancé, Namjoon. But then going home became some distant reality she wasn’t ready to face, so kindly she was offered a position at the beach stay. And now, here she is, doing her first task out of the premises and the vigilante eyes of her playful bosses. 

Although she loved the couple who hired her, even if it had been just a mere seventeen days, and she considered them as family, nothing made Deo as uncomfortable as not knowing what she was dealing with. Driving to the airport clueless as to whom she should be picking up wasn’t her cup of tea and the uneasiness she felt was visible as she sighed longly while turning off the call. 

The stop sign goes green again, and with a bold strike of encouragement, she straightens her back, holds the steering wheel with conviction, and begins a cheerful pep talk to herself. 

“You can do this.” She mumbles, hawkeyes scanning the people as her car slowly passes by. “How hard can it be… He’s tall and–” 

The words quickly lose their sound in her mouth. Standing ten feet ahead, a man attracts glances from everyone passing by as he checks the visor in his camera absentmindedly. 

Mentally, Deo starts crossing every characteristic being given by Yumi as she keeps looking at him through the safety of the Jeep’s tainted window. The only thing that doesn’t match is that this handsome man isn’t blonde but a brunette. His chocolate locks look ridiculously soft blowing in the light breeze. 

Inhaling resolved, she parks right next to him, rolling her window down.  

“Hi there! Would you perhaps be the Kim Taehyung from Seoul I’m looking for?” 

Upon hearing his name, Taehyung looks up at her. The girl doesn’t wait for his answer, she jumps out of the vehicle that he can notice is much bigger than herself. “You must be here to pick me up… Right?” 

Deo smiles at him confirming with a nod before opening the big trunk of the Jeep. Instead of introducing herself right away as expected, Taehyung watches as she reaches for his luggage, her knitted eyebrows denouncing how heavy it must be. 

“I– I can do that–” He tries, but she swiftly evades his reach. 

“It’s no problem! Really.”

He watches a bit flustered as she tries to dismiss her effort with a laid-back energy as if it was something she did all the time—to arrange heavy stuff in trunks and whatever not. 

Picking both his duffel bags to help while she is still pushing his suitcase inside the trunk, he is able to take two steps before she takes notice and grabs them from his hands. “Leave that to me! You can wait inside, really. Go ahead!” Deo waves her hand and he starts to walk toward the passenger seat uncertain of how to behave, but decides to take her lead for the time being. 

“Seatbealt!” She says as soon as she occupies the driver's seat and he is quick to follow the instruction. 

“So… Where is Namjoon?” 

Deo reaches for the rearview mirror, casually checking something in her eye before adjusting it back to its position. “Oh, he had to give today’s surf lessons and Yumi was kind of busy with tonight’s gathering so… But you’ll see him soon enough!”

“Ah, I see” 

“He’ll be waiting for us by the beach, don’t worry.” And the bubbly smile she gives him before starting the car and driving them away is enough to shut down his inquiry and haze him in his thoughts. 

ılı.lıl taehyung: What kind of women I’m compatible with? *smiles* Looking back… I’m drawn to the ones that are strange to me at first *chuckles* I think they’re a good pair for me. 

Driving down the lush tapestry of Jeju island, Deo takes the wheel as the jeep’s interior is illuminated by the soft glow of the sun. Melodic notes intertwine with the afternoon’s warm atmosphere as music envelops them. Deo’s fingers tap the steering wheel, and her voice, a gentle hum, dances in harmony with the rhythm. Taehyung, sitting beside her, steals occasional glances, captivated by her carefree demeanor. The playful sway of her copper strands in the wind and the joy evident on her face, as the waves crash on the coast, make the moment feel like a private dance between them.

ılı.lıl taehyung: Have you ever met someone and felt like they were this huge… Question mark? 

ılı.lıl taehyung: Like– “What is she like? She looks fun” *chuckles reminiscent* And you can’t stop having these questions and curiosities… You just want to know more and more. 

As if sensing the perfect moment, a familiar melody begins to play through the car’s speakers. Deo’s eyes lit up with recognition, a grin forming on her lips. Officially Missing You by Tamia had been remade by Basstracks as a summer tune, and it had quickly become one of her favorites at the moment; a song that resonated with the essence of Jeju and its travelers. 

With an impulsive burst of excitement, Deo cranks up the volume, allowing the music to envelop the jeep. The infectious beat cascades around them, harmonizing with the engine's rhythm roaring wildly in the wind. Her hands tap the steering wheel more enthusiastically than before, her foot keeping time with the pedals as the melody ignites her senses. 

And then, as if the music had started a fire within her, she begins to sing. Her voice, rich and passionate, hits Taehyung’s ears in a wonderful and alluring way. Every note she sings seems to carry the energy of the sun-drenched afternoon, a celebration of life and the freedom of the open road. 

Taehyung was initially taken aback by the sudden fervor. He watches in silent amazement as she transforms from a steady driver into a vivacious performer. Her eyes sparkle with delight, and her voice carries an unadulterated joy that is impossible to ignore. 

For a moment, he is rendered speechless, caught in the captivating spell of her uninhibited enthusiasm even though he knows the lyrics by heart himself. But as the chorus approaches, Deo’s voice soars higher, and turning to him with an unmistakable twinkle in her eye, she opens the windows further, allowing the world outside to merge with the music. 

“You know this song–?” As she asks and the chorus reaches its crescendo, she extends her arm toward him, pretending her hand is a microphone. The invitation hangs between them, and he hesitates for a moment. “C’mon! Sing with me–” Shyness lingered, but her spirited performance is too magnetic to resist. 

Taking a deep breath, he leans closer to the imaginary tool and timidly joins in, his voice intertwining with hers. Taehyung sings softly, still caught in the spell of her contagious energy. His eyes remain fixed on her while she loses herself to the music.

At that moment, as Deo sings with all her heart, his own swells with a profound fondness for the stranger sitting by his side. He realizes that this is a glimpse into her unfiltered soul—one that seems to revel in the simple joys of life, that seems to embrace every moment with unbridled passion. 

ılı.lıl taehyung: That’s how I fell for her… You see, I’m attracted to intense women. 

⤷ tangerimin It is fun to follow their lead kekeke so… Same here. 

ılı.lıl taehyung: There is a lot more to it– Like being bubbly… Oh, and she was also pretty feisty! Yeah, *smiles* that’s what she was like. She had just the right amount of feistiness.

When the music fades out and is replaced by the radio host’s voice instead, Deo turns down the volume still in a cheerful spirit. She takes a peak at the passenger seat only to notice Taehyung’s eyes are already on her. Visibly disconcerted, he gives her a small smile before looking over at his window instead, and she takes the opportunity to know more about him. 

“You will like it there,” she starts bubbly and he returns his gaze to her side profile. It is endearing how close to the steering wheel her seat is to compensate for her small stature.  

“I think so too… The last time I came it was such a healing experience– And well, I’ve been wanting to rent a trailer ever since I was younger.” 

“Oh, you’ll love it then!” He watches how her eyes part from the road ahead and instead fall on his side of the car, momentarily pointing with her index finger still on the wheel to the beach extension that passes by them. “It must be lovely to drive along the coasts… Picking these beautiful spots to just– Chill. I have a list of them if you want!” 

Taehyung leans his head on the window, a nostalgic wave hits his lips as the lines of it curve upward and he watches the sea crashing at the shore. It’s like a vivid picture of his childhood right in front of him. 

“That would be great if I had the license to drive the camper around… Maybe next time?” 

“You’re staying over a month and you won’t even change spots?! Now that we can’t do, hon.” 

He looks back at her startled by the casualty she treats everything. And not in a bad way; she didn’t peg him as this overbearing nosy person who didn’t have boundaries, but as someone that seemed carefree and loose. A different version of himself that he had to let go of many moons ago to fit the immense gray box that was societal norms and ordinary conviviality. 

Feeling a bit tempted to just enjoy the moment he decides then to let go of the filters. “That’s the only thing to do, hon, I don’t have the license.” He jokes, chuckling at her reaction when hearing the nickname. “What? You started it.” 

“My bad! Yumi was so invested in this whole casual speech thing ever since I started my part-time job there that now I just can’t come out of it. Something about making the guests feel at home and all that…” 

“Sounds like Yumi!” 

“But back to you. I was thinking… If there was a way to get you a license, would you want it? To live the full experience of a camper, that is…?” 

Taehyung frowns thinking as he looks to the calm waves again, but there isn’t much thinking to do. He would love the freedom of parking the vehicle throughout the whole extension of Jeju. “Sure…” He ponders. Being the type to imagine and discuss things, he was more than ready to give her all the reasons why that would be great for his next stay. “To park it whe–” 

“Great! So let’s do it!” 

It is the last thing he hears before she makes an abrupt U-turn in the middle of the calm road, and he has to flatten one hand on the window and the other on the panel of the Jeep to hold for his life. 

His heart only stops beating at an alarming speed once she hits the brakes and he is able to open the door to exit the vehicle. Still confused as to what is happening, the picture gets clear as she opens her arms excitedly in front of what he realizes to be a driving school.

“Ta-da! Your problems will be solved in exactly two days!” Deo exclaims, and Taehyung is pretty certain that his face is contorting in the most clueless way. He notices how a sudden strike of worriedness flashes on her toffee irises, however. “If you manage to pass the test of course…” 

ılı.lıl taehyung: I should have known she was crazy by then… But in all honesty… That’s what made her fun in the first place. 

ılı.lıl taehyung: And that makes me crazy too *laughs* You know, it’s those kinds of things you only realize later… Much later. Like realizing you’ve been conned only after being conned by someone *sighs*

⤷ supertuna Wow … I have just now realized how some people can be so blind 

ılı.lıl taehyung: And now whenever I see a camper trailer… I think of her.

They only get out of the driving school when he goes through with all the paperwork necessary to go and take the test the next day as Deo had insisted. She not only pushed him into a 3x4 photo machine situated on the long corridor of the building, but also cut the picture she thought to be the best, and helped him fill the application. 

Taehyung keeps replaying the whole shenanigan in his head as he takes his surfboard out of the roof of the jeep parked by his temporary home—a camper trailer by the beach. Last year, Namjoon had called him excitedly sharing the news that his girlfriend and he had bought a cozy place in Jeju and had renovated it to be a chill hostel for surfers and passersby. Of course, Taehyung stopped by to visit as soon as he was able to take some days off, but at the time, since all trailers were already rented, he stayed on the main structure. 

Not that it was bad, far from it. He enjoyed every second; from the late-night gatherings to the lounge festivities, and the amazing lunchtime Yumi was keen on making into a later-on karaoke session or game quest. There was no dull time within the colorful facilities, and it was always kept so casual that it made Taehyung feel very much at home. 

But he had the trailer experience written down on his bucket list ever since he could remember. And so this time around, he was sure to seize the opportunity and make that old promise come true. 

His thoughts wander away as he finishes sticking his board in the warm sand. Playing by the emerald shore, Deo runs laughing as she is chased by two dogs. His right hand comes to his eye line to shield it from the sun as he is incapable of moving on with his life, seeing her throw a stick only to have the bigger dog chasing it and the little one look at her unamused. It’s like he could be here all day to witness this particular scene, unconscious and unbothered by what surrounds them. 

And that is indeed what happens. 

“Hey, you, Mr. cloud9–” Namjoon calls for his attention for the second time. “You didn’t listen to a thing I said, did you?” 

“Hm?” 

“I was telling you to close the canvas of it at night because of the wind– Are you even hearing a thing?” But as he follows his friend's line of sight he knows he isn’t. Letting go of his own obligations for the time being, he stands beside Taehyung, crossing his arms and admiring his dogs running as the waves serve as background music to his ears. It’s peaceful. It’s his piece of peace on earth. 

“She shines, doesn’t she?” 

Namjoon peaks at his friend before looking ahead once more, with a fond smile finding his features. “She does… She has been our recent source of joy. Yumi and I laugh so much because of her lately.” 

“Yeah, she seems fun,” Taehyung muses with a chuckle of his own still enamored by the scene displayed in front of him. Deo falls to the soft sand in laughter and both dogs come flying toward her. 

“Poor girl… She was dumped here by some surfer. Could you believe that?” 

There is a sorrowful pause and Taehyung is suddenly snapped out of his trance, indignity brimming in his eyes as his friend shakes his head clearly saddened by the situation. 

Returning his view to the girl ahead, he adds, “What kind of jerk would do that? She seems so bubbly and… Caring–” 

“You want to take her to Seoul?” Namjoon interrupts and he almost gasps. 

“Take her?!”

“Yeah, take her. I mean, I think she would be happy with you there…” 

“You think she would like to come with me?” Taehyung’s fingers tingle with the possibility, even if he himself doubts it a little. 

“Sure! We just have to give her one last shot and she’s good to go! The vet–”

“Wait. What? What are you talking about?” 

Namjoon stares at him suddenly confused, and then back at the beach again. As Deo hops by, calling for both Monnie and Tan, his eyebrows soften in understanding. 

“Oh… It’s not Monnie, is it?” He muses playfully. “You’re talking about Yewon… I see,” 

“Yewon…” Taehyung mumbles her name to himself. “So her name is Yewon, huh…”

But the impish nudges he receives on his side snap him out of his thoughts and let him know that Namjoon won’t be letting go of this confession so soon. 

In the cozy beachside hostel, the evening breeze whispers through open windows, carrying with it the laughter of tenants. With a lighthearted step, Deo finds herself in the pantry where Namjoon is absorbed in a way to easy recipe for lounge snacks. Fishing his phone out of her jeans, a small smile plays on her lips as she extends the device toward him. 

“Here you go, boss,” she remarks, her voice playful as she not only returns his phone but also substitutes the sugar jar in his hand with the salt and pepper. 

Namjoon glances up, chuckling at his clumsiness. “We were almost in trouble there. You’re a lifesaver.” 

As he takes the phone from the table filled with condiments, he can’t help but tease, “You should probably get one of your own, don’t you think?” 

“Eh. It’s just a hassle really… I only use it to talk to our guests.” 

Leaving him to his impromptu cooking, she strolls out to the porch, where the new visitors are gathering. The atmosphere is lively, with conversations and newfound curiosity filling the air. Deo effortlessly mingles, chatting with familiar faces and welcoming newcomers that pass by the beach. 

Among the crowd, she notices Taehyung engrossed in a ping pong game, as she takes some beers to a group playing Jenga. His infectious laughter captivates everyone around him and she can’t help but smile at the view. Her gaze lingers, catching his eye for a fleeting second. 

She points with her head to the group around him, wearing a playful smile on her lips, and lifting her thumb up to measure how he is doing tonight she waits for his response. Immediately he raises his own finger positively, his smile opening wider at her caring gesture to check on him. 

Suddenly, the lights flicker and go out, causing momentary confusion and their brief interaction to cease. Murmurs and laughter rise as the guests fumble in the dark. Deo is the only one chuckling expectant as she knows what is to come. 

Then, not ten seconds later, Yumi’s voice pierce the darkness through a megaphone. “Ladies and gents, it’s game time!” 

The announcement is met with cheers and applause, and the porch transforms into a playground of excitement. Deo herself feels the rush of anticipation buzz down to the tip of her fingers as the group prepares for a surprise game under the stars, even though she replays the script made by her and Yumi earlier on in her mind.

The last time Taehyung stayed here, he arrived so tired from a late-night flight that he wasn’t able to participate in the welcoming game he knew Yumi organized every month, and he regretted it for the whole week he rented a room. This night was all every guest he met by the beach was able to talk about, and now he was ready to find why. 

As some fairy lights and a big screen illuminate the space, Deo watches the handsome newcomer’s silhouette amid the glow. His grin was unmistakable as he raised a red cup, ready to dive open-heartedly into whatever it was that the hosts had prepared.

Supposedly, every time Yumi and Namjoon did this for the new guests to ambient themselves and feel more comfortable around everyone else, they prepared a scavenge hunt inside and outside of the hostel's bounds. But this week everything had gone to space and changes had to be made at the last minute. 

Between losing a long-time employee and having to train Deo on the spot, as well as managing the surf lessons and running the business, the couple had little to no time to arrange the things needed for the anticipated scavenge hunt. So this month, Deo pitched in with a rather easy game to orchestrate and that would still promote the mingling of the visitors—Simon Says. 

“And… Start!” Yumi exclaimed as she pressed the button to start the presentation on the projection screen. 

Big crimson red letters appear giving instructions and the crowd thrillingly follows. “Simon says: make a group with four girls and three guys” it reads at first and everyone fumbles their way to find open spots. Deo herself is forced to join as two guests she had come to know, pull her to their side. The thrill of the game intertwined with the salt-kissed wind made her feel some sense of belonging that she had never really expected. 

“Three guys, three girls!”

In the throes of the chaos of the match, it was inevitable however how Taehyung’s gaze followed the sound of Deo’s laughter. Even if their eyes meet in brief moments, and even if it was in the middle of an ongoing competition, a silent connection seemed to pull them to each other like gravity. 

As the game reaches its apex, the tension in the air is palpable. The players’ laughter overlaps with the sound of Yumi’s megaphone, creating a symphony of fun. They aren’t completely strangers now. There is a spontaneous connection formed between them all, just like the hosts had intended it to. 

“One guy, one girl! Quick!”, Yumi reads the screen through the megaphone overexcited, and the remaining participants eye each other in confusion while the rest of the crowd laughs entertained. “Oh–” 

Taehyung steals a glance at his two partners, both male, and they all chuckle amused, not really knowing how to proceed. 

“I think I messed up when writing this– Wait.” Yumi confesses to the crowd sheepishly, starting to move toward the laptop to try and fix the mistake. 

But then Taehyung feels like someone is watching him through his peripheral, and when he turns his head, it’s her. Deo stands two feet away from him, close to Yumi, watching joyfully, and he suddenly knows what to do. Or better, his heart does. 

With two quick steps, he reaches for her hand, pulling her gently to his side and attracting everyone else’s attention to their figures, Yumi’s included. In the midst of the applause and collective cheer, Deo’s mute inquiry reaches his eyes. 

The porch begins to transform into a realm of unity and exhilaration, being lit by the moonlight and the shared spirit of the guests, but not that any of the two notice, as the girl is too enchanted by her last-minute partner’s orbs. Taehyung's big brown eyes pierce hers with certainty and a flash of curiosity that is almost childlike. 

A shared smile floats between them as her sight falls to his lips, a silent acknowledgment of the joy of the evening and perhaps the butterflies that flutter rapidly in their stomachs.

The lights had gone out, but the bonds forming under the starry August sky seemed to shine even brighter. 

ılı.lıl taehyung: When you look into a girl’s eyes you can tell if she’s compatible with you or not. I can see who she is through it… And in that moment I felt it. I knew that she and I would be compatible. 

“We have our winner for tonight!” Yumi exclaims through the megaphone as they keep staring into each other’s eyes, “Congrats!” 

Amidst the fading echoes of the beachside game’s conclusion, jubilant cheers resound from the open porch of the hostel. The sun had retreated long before the gathering had started, ceding its reign to a canvas of twilight hues, but now fireworks burst into existence, painting the sky with a kaleidoscope of colors. 

The couple, different from the majority of the crowd who excitedly run towards the shores, stands hand in hand still. A silent connection stronger than the clamor. With each explosion, Taehyung’s gaze shifts from the spectacle to Deo, seeing in her eyes a breezeful wonder that makes him rendered. Yet, it’s not just the pyrotechnics that leave him breathless. As he watches her, a quiet realization dawns—his heart races to a rhythm he hadn’t known before. It’s more than just curiosity. At that moment, amid the splendor of the fireworks and the tranquil beauty of the night, Taehyung recognizes the gentle tug of love. 

ılı.lıl taehyung: I liked everything about her… The way she looked at things and the way she smelled. How she had two funky single braids done in her loose strands and the clothes she threw together without much effort making an all-together beachy look. 

ılı.lıl taehyung: Everything about her seemed perfect to me. I just… I really liked her.

Sort by Oldest first ↓

supertuna Maybe it’s because I’ve been dating for so long… But I find dating stories uhm… Kind of funny now keke 

callmerinie “And it was at that moment that the fireworks went off…” 🤭🤭 

tangerimin You bet they heard bells, too. I heard it was explosions of fireworks 😏

⤷ notmekeys i’m too drnk to answee this

supertuna I think everyone feels like their own love life is special like in a movie or something

notmekeys it’s a beautiful story tho

⤷ notmekeys there waas a guy who found a butiful woman on a trip and and the night they met fireworkss went off peww pew!

⤷ notmekeys their eyes met bang !! theirr hearts too

bluengrey But those things can happen all at once… At least I think so. 

boreo well… if the woman is insanely pretty that’s possible. don’t you think?

⤷ tangerimin That’s exactly when you have to realize it’s just too good to be true, don’t you think? 

supertuna Let’s say you wake up from that dream, then what happens if you don’t get together?

⤷ callmerinie then you die alone

⤷ notmekeys no. no no. i’m not alone. 

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bluengrey Hmm

bluengrey I would still fall for her..

boreo if i met him again… i’d fall in love again

bluengrey Yes, I think I would.

NEXT EPISODE ▸ ❤️‍🩹— singguks | all rights reserved. do not repost, translate or claim as your own.

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[a-moment-captured]

I have stayed out of the Chris Evans tag for a while. I glanced thru some yesterday after Alba’s post and it confirmed that the amount of people spending every day talking about how they are a PR couple is kind blowing.

I’ve seen literally blog after blog have 20 plus post today over them. But you are not obsessed? Clearly the definition needs to be posted for all to see.

It’s honestly past scary. It’s an obsession and one I’ve seen zero concrete proof. All is see is bitterness, jealousy, cattiness over differing opinions, and swearing you know the truth when you don’t.

Not one single person on this app knows a damn thing when it comes to Chris and Alba. Also, if it bothers you so much, why talk about it every day. Then say you aren’t being mean, bitchy, or jealous. Saying she photoshopped Dodger because there was no shadow?! That’s what we have come to as a fandom?!

Also, who the fuck cares what two grown ass people are doing? Chris is 41 years old. He doesn’t have a gun to his head. The narrative of “poor Chris” is ridiculous. He is doing what he wants.

I’ve yet to see why it matters if they are together for real or PR. Give me a legit reason of why this matters other than you think your fave is being used. Why care and be so invested in what two people do when together.

Let it go. It’s not good for anyone’s mental health to dwell and go on about two people who will never know or interact with you. Think of what you could be doing.

I’m going back out the tag because this is just too much. Too much drama. Too much confusion. Too much bullying. Just too much over two grown ass fucking adults.

The entitlement some blogs think they have is ridiculous. This is two peoples personal lives and you are acting like it’s your playground. What is even worse is swearing they have “sources” but never say specifically or give any evidence at all. Just what they think. The sooner some of the blogs admit they are jealous the better. Two blogs in particular are the worst. Like just get over it and shut the fuck up. You don’t have a life when you are so consumed with someone else like they are. 🤦🏽‍♀️

[mamashenanigans]

SURPRISE I come baring KudoxYoichi fruit!!!

Yes! This is the first scene from the next chapter of Urges!

This second chapter is all about Yoichi meeting Kudo and Bruce, but the majority of it will be from AFO’s perspective. This first scene is the only one from Yoichi’s perspective this chapter or, at least, that’s the current plan. Who knows with me, though. I might end up doing a back and forth perspective for this chapter. I’m still feeling it out. Regardless, Kudo and Bruce are brought into the picture and AFO isn’t too thrilled about sharing his brother nor watching him want to give to these complete strangers. Cue awkward first meetings, horror from Kudo and Bruce, and an inevitable “bring your boyfriend to family dinner” scene that will either be hilarious or downright creepy!

This first scene is quite cute and therefore includes a meet cute, but keep in mind what kind of writer I am! Once it switches to AFO, things are going to get weird and creepy.

Anywhooooo, read it below and let me know what you think! If you haven’t read Urges, please do and maybe leave a kudo and/or comment to help me get through my day of grooming dogs. There are only so many times you can shave a doggy butthole before you need a little cheering up! 😝

(The first time I tried to post this, my tumblr app decided to make me look like a fool and double pasted. This is a new post)

“Ugh!”

Yoichi dropped his overflowing basket to the floor as he scoured through the products on the shelves. This particular grocer was a favorite of his as it didn’t just stock Japanese necessities, but also ingredients from other countries. When it opened, he had been over the moon, bugging his brother incessantly about how amazing the selection is.

Per usual, Big Brother was more concerned about how the haul would help him and didn’t care much for Yoichi’s fervent ramblings over his love for the place. The younger twin couldn’t help his excitement nor the chance to tease his brother over the elder most likely never setting foot in the place. That always earned him a hard scowl or a shove to the shoulder. Normally both.

He’d tell himself that it wasn’t his fault his brother rarely deigned to leave the house unless it involved business, but that would be partly a lie. Okay, maybe an entire lie. He sorta, probably, definitely was the cause for his twin’s physicality at this point, however, Yoichi didn’t like to dwell on it especially now that the brothers had come to an understanding about the needs of the other.

Still, this grocery run had become exhausting.

The night prior, the twins had been watching a cooking competition show. Actually, Yoichi had been binging different food related shows all day now that most pre-meta streaming services had finally returned.

Big Brother had started teasing him early in the day, but his annoyance grew every time he found Yoichi glued to the screen, eyes huge, and papers with recipe ideas strewn across the coffee table and couch. The older brother eventually picked up his smaller twin(he didn’t even bother using a meta ability) and took him into the kitchen, setting him on his feet and dramatically motioning to all the advanced appliances.

“How about you pretend you’re on a cooking show and make me something to eat!”

After sticking his tongue out at his brother’s retreating back, Yoichi had hollered, “I totally could be on a cooking show and I’d win!”

His brother’s deep voice answered, “We all have dreams we’ll never attain, dear brother!”

Yoichi was already yawning once they had sat down to eat their frustration-induced dinner, but perked up when he found a new competition show. He almost broke the remote with how hard and quickly he mashed the buttons, and he could feel his brother roll his eyes.

“Really? You aren’t tired of this drivel?”

”Never!”

Once they were done eating, well, once Yoichi was done eating, he couldn’t stop himself from excitedly talking about all the recipes he would love to make.

And that was his first mistake.

His brother grinned at him and pulled Yoichi in close; their eyes locked.

”Hmm, I heard you say a certain dish I would just love to enjoy tomorrow night. If you can make it.”

Yoichi glared at his brother and sat up straight. He crossed his arms. “I can make anything, Big Brother!”

”Oh, really? Then I’m sure you’ll have no trouble making me Tonkatsu ramen!”

Yoichi’s eyes bugged out and he stuttered, “Wh-what?! You, you, dammit, you know I never cut corners! What the hell! That’s going to take me, take me—”

”All. Day.” Big Brother pulled back and held his stomach as he let out a boisterous laugh. Yoichi seethed.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!”

”Please, we’ve always been together. You know damn well when I’m kidding. I’m just helping you realize your dream of being on ‘what’s his face’s show!”

”That face is THE Gordon Ramsey and you know that!”

Big Brother tutted and flapped his fingers. “Yes, yes, the British one that yells. I must admit I respect his gumption. Went right back to that Hell show before America even got back on its feet.”

”It’s Hell’s Kitchen. You know that.”

”Mmmhmm.”

”Ahhhh,” Yoichi screeched and pulled at his hair, “the only way I can do it right is to go right now and get everything! You know it takes over a day, don’t you? I’m going to have to have the broth cooking tonight, it has to stay on the stove overnight, cook more during the day, then it—ugh! Big Brother, I swear, if I didn’t know, explicitly from you saying it all the time, that you’d ‘stop death from taking me’, I’d think you want me to keel over!”

Big Brother just stared at him, a humor twinkling in his eyes and an annoying grin on his face. “Well, I have faith in you, my little twin.”

Yoichi jumped to his feet, gave his brother one last glare, and then grabbed his things. His muttering didn’t subside even after he left and especially when his brother called out, “Don’t take forever and bring me something sweet back!”

Even though Yoichi had returned as fast as he could, his brother still complained he was gone too long. It didn’t help matters that he decided to state as such when Yoichi was still standing in the hall with his arms full of grocery bags and his white locks in a state of disarray.

His rush ended up biting him in the ass the next day once he realized he had completely forgotten the pork belly for the chashu. Luckily, it didn’t take anywhere near as long as the rest of the meal to prepare, but that meant he was now back at the store to buy it. However, Yoichi wasn’t one to ever just buy one thing. Perhaps it was him being spoiled by his brother’s money or his mind working in overdrive to come up with more ways to give. All he knew was that he was fairly certain he was out of paprika. And onion powder. And…maybe 3, or 5, or more ingredients.

Before he knew it, his basket was so full that he felt heavily encumbered. With it on the floor now, he was able to more expertly parse through the delicate glass bottles that lined the shelves.

“Where is it? There it is! No, no, that one doesn’t look good. Is there another brand? I wonder…”

Unbeknownst to Yoichi, another customer had taken to looking through the snacks nearby, which ended up being quite fruitoutus when—

“Oh, shit!”

One of the expensive glass bottles fell from the shelf and Yoichi embarrassingly missed catching it twice before it was caught by a calloused hand.

“Yo, may want to be a little more careful.”

Yoichi hastily grabbed the bottle from the stranger and went to apologize (maybe a bow or two?) but went rigid once he finally set eyes on the man that had saved him from having to profusely apologize to the store owner.

“Um, I…I” Yoichi didn’t have words. He couldn’t say he had felt this emotion before that was blossoming in his chest. It wasn’t like when his urges took over, but definitely danced with the feeling he’d have when taking advantage of the plethora of options on the internet. The kind he was always ready to hide from his brother’s discerning eyes with a quick switch to another window on his laptop.

The man that had saved him from public embarrassment gave him a questioning look. His hair was spiked and a lovely shade of orange. His eyes were red (like Big Brother’s) but not quite the same shade nor intensity, and his skin spoke of a life of hard work. The stranger’s clothes looked like they were chosen in a rush and Yoichi easily found every tear and stain.

He was nothing like the men he enjoyed pleasuring himself to in the dead of night after sneaking out of his and his brother’s shared bed.

Ruggedly handsome. Yes, that’s what he was.

“Uh, you okay there, champ?”

”Oh, uh, yeah, yeah! I’m just dandy!”

”Ah…huh.”

Crap! Yoichi! You are ruining this!

”I, uh, sorry! I just haven’t, um, seen you here before!”

”So, you keep a record of everyone that shops here?”

Yoichi’s face went red and he hurriedly shook his head ‘no’.

“Whoa, there! I’m just kidding!”

”Yes! I just meant that, well, I come here a lot. And by a lot I mean, like, almost everyday, so I was just a little surprised is all…”

”Right. Anyway, it looks like you owe me now. Saved you from having to deal with that grumpy old guy at the front.”

”I heard that, you hooligan!” A gruff voice spoke over the loudspeaker.

”Damn. This place is really nice, isn’t it? Even has a good ‘ol timer to watch me on the cameras like a damn hawk.”

Yoichi laughed and not in a cute way like he wanted. It came out more like it would from his brother.

His brother. Well, that killed the mood.

”Um, thanks for being my hero!”

Good one, Yoichi. Great job. Totally not stupid.

“Heh. Hero, aye? Never heard that one before. Just call me Kudo.”

Yoichi felt a warmth grow within him and not where he’d normally feel his urges. No, much lower.

“I’m, uh, Yoichi.”

”Well, Yoichi, it was good to meet you, but I’d prefer the next time to not include almost destroying pricey merchandise, okay?”

Next time?!

”Yo, Kudo!” A blue haired man near the front with his hair pulled back called out.

Kudo turned slightly to look at him and Yoichi noticed how the other man cocked his head at a stranger checking out. Maybe another friend?

”Well, looks like I need to be going.” Kudo put back the bag of snacks he was holding and turned to leave, but Yoichi stopped him. “Why did you put that back? I can help if you need it! I’ll buy it for you!” The words flew out of his mouth before his brain could catch up. He wasn’t especially adept at speaking with people other than Big Brother. It had always been just them and surviving, but even now that they were comfortable and no longer had to scrap on the streets, Yoichi never had ventured far with finding friends.

“Uh, yeah, no, dude. It’s all good. Something came up, that’s all. Maybe I’ll see you around again, who knows?”

Kudo walked away towards the blue-haired man and they exchanged some words then followed the stranger that had just paid out the door.

“You two better buy something next time! I’m running a business! Not a hostel!” The old man behind the counter yelled.

Yoichi stood there for a few minutes mulling over the strange encounter he just went through.

Oh, god! He just had a meet-cute! His closed smile took over his face and he was partly convinced little hearts must be bursting around his head.

There would definitely be a “next time” as the handsome, not-quite-put-together clothes wearing, orange haired man named Kudo said.

Yoichi’s phone went off interrupting his semi-lustful thoughts. He took a peak and groaned. A text from his Big Brother on the screen.

BigBro: “What the hell is taking you so long? Weren’t you just getting pork? What’s going on—”

Yoichi growled and put his phone back in his pocket.

Great. Of course, his Big Brother would be the one to kill this amazing mood he was having.

But still…

Next time.

[septembersghost]

sorry this is a reply to your reply but the "PR" thing is so frustrating and freaking annoying to me, that's not how people or relationships work and for some reason this little sect of people have an obsession with making Taylor (and Harry in this case) into a liar about everything and pretending that meaningful connections and love she had and experienced wasn't important or real. like??? it's so insulting to her as an artist and as a human being. it makes me fume that so-called fans won't believe her or listen to her when she shares her experiences

it is rage-inducing, and i think it's gotten much worse with the rise of a bad conspiracy theory pocket of fandom on social media (the clock app definitely feeding into it), but it's obnoxious (and quite concerning for certain other reasons). it's not limited to her past, either, it gets pasted onto her current life and truth and relationship too, but that's a whole other disconcerting topic. there are seemingly people who cannot handle her honesty, be that in joy and stability or grief and insecurity. (plus the very retrograde "she's pathetic for openly loving her partner and letting him participate" thing which is bonkers.) we saw a bit of it even with response to red and "why does she still let this emotionally impact her? ew" as if those heartbreaks and wounds - particularly when they happen at such a pivotal age - don't continue to shape us, or as if regaining ownership of her work is somehow negative and dwelling on it rather than it being a reclamation, which i wrote about the other night.

with regards to the past, it's just so boggling because, as that post said, there was literally zero benefit. she was shamed and ridiculed and painted as an evil maneating user, and the pain and frustration of what that did to her isn't only all over 1989 and the repercussions it had on her with him specifically at the time, but it continued to affect her to the point where the anxiety of that cruel unforgiving lens from the press is all over the work and her sense of self and approach that follows it too (rep having very obvious themes about this, but it's also present in things like peace and the lakes etc). i was just talking to @cowboylikedean about how i think the profound impact they had on one another not only personally, but also career-wise, is often overlooked. it's scattered across the art which grew out of it, and shaped a lot of the diverging paths that led to where they separately are as artists. we got even more insight into that with things like message in a bottle (it's a cute pop bop, but it's also so huge in the healing process of red), and then the old songs of his that leaked in april. it was on again/off again for quite a while, and an aspect of that was definitely more fun and casual in contrast to the anxiety and yearning, but there was true significance and connection there too (and both of their respective approaches to love and relationships come into play and juxtapose).

it's weird behavior to try and act like the art they created that was clearly inspired by each other's presences isn't true and valuable in the course of their journeys. taylor spoke so much about the fragility and beauty of that at the time, despite the anxiety and desperation to protect it, and harry has always framed it with grace and tenderness (which doesn't necessarily mean softness, loss and jealousy are tender to the touch too). it's not like we don't have their direct words on this. also, as zoë mentioned to me, she helped teach him to play guitar, to write a song. it's formative. i said not only was taylor a muse, she was a guide, and it's rare to embody both. the extended back and forth may have been exciting at times and difficult at others, but their mutual impact on their craft and the way that breathes in the music that was written is an irreplaceable thing. i don't know why anyone would want to undermine it when reality is much more human and bittersweet and touching. (alexa play this love tv on repeat)

[bookgeekgrrl]

My media this week (25 Feb - 2 Mar 2024)

nancy is the superstar of this show. she's in it for 5 seconds, drops the best line, steals the scene

📚 STUFF I READ 📚

🥰 What I Used To Be (thepinupchemist) - 117K, stucky, omegaverse trauma recovery fic - a relatively light tone, mostly escapist fic focusing on the recovery, not dwelling overly much on trauma details, kidfic but I really dug it

😍 The Adventures of Amina al-Sirafi (Amina al-Sirafi #1) (Shannon Chakraborty, author; Lameece Issaq & Amin El Gamal, narrator) - just gonna KJ Charle's review bc she's better with words than I'll ever be: "Good god, this was incredible fun. Absolutely cracking. A sort of take on Sinbad but with more historical accuracy (apart from the demons, marids, etc), with a middle-aged retired lady pirate getting the crew back together to take on a Frankish coloniser/sorceror/baddie. It's just fabulous exuberant fun." I cannot wait for more!

😊 The Werewolf Companion (MargaretKire) - traumatized derek hale, intriguing larger worldbuilding, hot, wet, messy sex that really leaned into the 'definitely not human' aspect of werewolf fucking without going full xeno. super enjoyable

🥰 My Man Jeeves (Jeeves #1) (PG Wodehouse) - our intro to Bertie & Jeeves 💖 [via Serial Reader app]

💖💖 +50K of shorter fic so shout out to these I really loved 💖💖

A Fine Cure from Fennel Seed (Lucius Parhelion (Parhelion)) - original work, 10K - absolutely delightful amuse-bouche of an original fic; short, hot, slapsticky hilarious, set in the '30s

📺 STUFF I WATCHED 📺

Matt Berry and Peter Capaldi read a FIERY letter exchange

Hot Ones - Quinta Brunson

D20: Adventuring Party - s3, e1-5

D20: The Unsleeping City: Chapter II - "The Mystery of the Haunted Subway" (s7, e3)

D20: The Unsleeping City: Chapter II - "We Need to Talk About Cody" (s7, e4)

D20: The Unsleeping City: Chapter II - "Trouble at the Tunnel" (s7, e5)

D20: The Unsleeping City: Chapter II - "Collaborators" (s7, e6)

D20: The Unsleeping City: Chapter II - "Parade of Peril" (s7, e7)

Ghosts (US) - s3, e3

Um, Actually - s9, e1

D20: Fantasy High: Junior Year - "Fracas at the Frostyfaire Folk Festival" (s21, e8)

D20: Adventuring Party - "I See Your Butt Plug and I Raise You a Fist" (s16, e8)

🎧 PODCASTS 🎧

Up First - The Sunday Story: The Diaspora's Troubled African Dream

How To! - How To Let Go of a Friendship

⭐ Switched on Pop - Beyoncé's Country

The Sporkful - Gary Gulman’s Ice Cream Joke Was A Cry For Help

Overinvested - West Side Story (2021)

Consider This from NPR - How The Underground Railroad Got Its Name

⭐ It's Been a Minute - Da'Vine Joy Randolph on 'The Holdovers' and becoming a matriarch

⭐ 99% Invisible #438 - The Real Book

⭐ Vibe Check - Be Forreal!

Pop Culture Happy Hour - Wendy Williams

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Jerry’s Hat Museum

Short Wave - Is It Possible To Feed To World Sustainably?

Decoder Ring - The Gen X Soda That Was Just "OK"

Off Menu - Ep 228: Ray Winstone

⭐ Twenty Thousand Hertz+ - All About That Bass

I Said No Gifts! - Oscar Montoya Disobeys Bridger

Throughline - The Right to An Attorney

The Assignment - Polyamory Is Having a Moment

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Black History in Plain Sight with Places Editors Jonathan and Michelle

Short Wave - Could Dune Really Exist? What Scientists Think of Our Favorite Sci-Fi Worlds

What Next: TBD - The Supreme Court Takes on Content Moderation

Dear Prudence - Am I a Bad Father If I Don't Want to Acknowledge My Kid Publicly? Help!

Welcome to Night Vale #243 - Lost and Found

You're Dead to Me - The Inca Empire

Today, Explained - It’s Shotime!

It's Been a Minute - Three ways to think about journalism layoffs; plus, Aaron Bushnell's self-immolation

Consider This from NPR - Are We Alone In The Universe?

99% Invisible - Roman Mars Describes Santa Fe As It Is

Under the Influence - Seeing is Believing: The Power of Demonstration Commercials - Part 2

🎶 MUSIC 🎶

CREDITS: Carole King

Chromeo Radio • Party

Pop Radio • 1990s

"Easy" [Commodores] radio

Steely Dan Mix • Focus

'90s Dance

Billy Joel Radio • 1980s

[winnifredburkleismyhero]

The Voice of an Angel

The Voice of an Angel – (Chapter 1)

(Modern / Neighbor / Apartment AU)

Summary: After moving into a new place, Reader hears her neighbor (Eddie) singing, through the wall of the apartment. She knows the song, so she sings along. An unexpected duet ensues.

Pairing: Mechanic!Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader (Pronouns used: She/Her)

Warnings: Drinking is mentioned (Eddie / Reader are over 21) & mention of Cursing (no actual swearing)

Song Lyrics: Driving Nails by Demon Hunter

Author’s Note: I had this idea that Eddie is totally the type who sings in the shower. I love the idea of meeting someone for the first time without actually being able to see the person… like it’s mysterious and exciting. This was originally going to be a drabble or a one shot, but Eddie and Reader were just begging for more of a story than that. There will be some serious themes in later chapters, so definitely pay attention to the warnings on each chapter! As always, all mistakes are mine. And the photo edit is mine, made from pictures off of Pinterest.

Feedback is meaningful and appreciated!!! ❤️

(I do not consent to have my work posted, translated or published to any third party site or app. If my work is found anywhere else but here, it has been reposted without my permission. )

Reader’s POV

New city, new apartment, new start? The little nondescript apartment complex on the northeast side of Indianapolis was as far from your home in North Manchester as you could get on your small budget. Looking up at the three story brick building, you sat in your car, willing your mind to let go of the past year. As you get out of the car, a warm fall breeze stirs your hair around your face, and you take a deep, steadying breath.

Hopefully, you pick up the last box from next to your beat up little car, and head up the outside stairs, walking down the corridor past the door of your new neighbor. Coming into your new home, you feel a little overwhelmed. Shutting the front door with a sigh, you gazed around at the stacks of boxes in your new living room, trying to decide which room in the two bedroom apartment to start unpacking first.

Finding a box labeled ‘Bathroom’, you headed down the hallway and turned on the light in the small bathroom. Sitting down on the faded linoleum tile floor with the box in front of the cupboard under the sink, you slice open the box and start pulling your stuff out. As you organize the things under the sink, you notice that over the sounds of creaky pipes and running water you can hear music, like someone singing. Loudly. In the shower maybe. Probably whoever lives in the apartment directly next to yours.

I was the light / I was the quiet heart / I was the place we used to dwell. / And when the cold would tear your life apart, / I was the warmth that you had felt

The voice is male, rich and full, loud yet soulful, and as you listen, you realize that you know the song your new neighbor is singing. Interesting that you’ve moved in next to someone who knows the metal band Demon Hunter. His voice makes you shiver a bit, intense but hypnotizing, making the song seem new and exciting to you. Humming along to yourself as you organize your stuff in the cupboard, you get a little lost in the lyrics.

What have I become? / Thoughts like shadows swelling through my mind. / What have I become? / Something else inside… / It’s driving nails into my soul / Angels from my door. / Driving nails into my soul / Something inside…

Impulsively, you decide that you’ll join in singing when he gets to the second verse. Closing your eyes, tilting your head back, and lifting your voice to belt out the next words along with him, you sing:

I was the blood inside your broken heart / I was the stone that you had held

You hear a thud, like something was dropped, a few grumbled curse words, the water shuts off, then silence. Afraid of losing your nerve, you continue the song…

What have I become? /Thoughts like shadows swelling through my mind. / What have I become? / Something else inside… / It’s driving nails into my soul / Angels from my door. / Driving nails into my soul / Something else inside...

His voice joins yours again, tentatively at first, then louder. You smile to yourself as his voice blends with yours.

It’s driving nails into my soul / Angels from my door. Driving nails into my soul / Something inside…

It’s a strangely intimate experience, sharing a duet with a mysterious stranger, separated only by a thin apartment wall. You feel a little bit better now, less lonely maybe. Music has always been one of the constants in your life, especially when things got tough. As the song is ending, you wonder what he is like, this metalhead neighbor of yours. You wonder if it’ll be awkward to meet him after singing with him.

I close my eyes / Search for you / Retracing every step

Maybe it’s easier to connect when you can’t see the other person. You don’t exactly have the best luck with men or relationships. Is this weird for him too? You muse to yourself as you finally empty the packing box in your lap.

It’s driving nails into my soul / Angels from my door. Driving nails into my soul / Something inside…

Standing up to go back to the living room, you and your neighbor finish the last refrain of the song. His sweet voice gives you goosebumps, the good kind that you often get when listening to music. In fact, if you wanted to be cliché about it, you would swear he had a voice like honey.

Nails into my soul / Angels from my door. Driving nails into my soul / Something else inside… It’s driving nails into my soul / Angels from my door. Driving nails into my soul / Something inside.

How were you to know that you’d be moving in next to a guy with the voice of an angel?

Eddie’s POV

Eddie Munson had had quite a long day at the garage, where he’d worked for the last five years. A long day full of noise and stress and hard work. Parking his van next to a beat up little car that he didn’t recognize, he headed up the stairs to his second floor apartment. He wanted nothing more than a shower, a beer, and a quiet evening alone at home. Dropping his keys and phone on the kitchen counter, he opened the fridge and grabbed a can. Popping the top of his beer, he made his way back to the bedroom at the end of the hall.

Eddie kicked off his shoes in the direction of his closet, shed his grimy, greasy work clothes, and headed to the bathroom. Turning on the shower, he lets the water get hot and then steps into the tub, taking his drink with him. Standing directly under the stream, as the water runs through his long brown curls, he hummed to himself, then started singing:

I was the light / I was the quiet heart / I was the place we used to dwell. / And when the cold would tear your life apart, / I was the warmth that you had felt

He loved the acoustics of singing metal in the shower, as the hot water washed away everything from the day. Just filling the small bathroom with the sound of music, drinking his beer, and relaxing.

What have I become? / Thoughts like shadows swelling through my mind. / What have I become? / Something else inside… / It’s driving nails into my soul / Angels from my door. / Driving nails into my soul / Something inside…

Suddenly a strong, sweet, emotional female voice, coming from the apartment directly next to his, is belting out the next words of the song…

I was the blood inside your broken heart / I was the stone that you had held

Thud! Startled, Eddie drops his can of beer, curses, and picks up his drink. Then he shuts off the shower and stands there in stunned silence. Thinking he was hearing things, he waits until you continue the song…

What have I become? /Thoughts like shadows swelling through my mind. / What have I become? / Something else inside… / It’s driving nails into my soul / Angels from my door. / Driving nails into my soul / Something else inside...

He starts singing again, joining in with your lovely voice. He grins to himself as the two of you sing together.

It’s driving nails into my soul / Angels from my door. Driving nails into my soul / Something inside…

He hadn’t realized that anyone had actually moved in next door, much less a fellow metal lover. A girl who shares his taste in music is definitely not what he was expecting. He is convinced he has to meet her. As soon as possible. But he doesn’t want the song to end. How to even introduce himself? He wraps himself in his towel and steps out of the tub.

I close my eyes / Search for you / Retracing every step

Excitement rushes through him as the song comes to its final chorus. Grinning at his blurry reflection in the foggy mirror, he decides that this is so much better than a quiet evening. He grabs a smaller towel and squeezes the water out of his curly hair.

It’s driving nails into my soul / Angels from my door. Driving nails into my soul / Something inside…

There’s something about sharing a song with someone else. He can’t even explain it aloud, it’s something he feels inside. Closing his eyes, listening to you. Plus it definitely doesn’t hurt that your voice reminds him of the stars above. And he’d give just about anything to hear it again.

Nails into my soul / Angels from my door. Driving nails into my soul / Something else inside… It’s driving nails into my soul / Angels from my door. Driving nails into my soul / Something inside.

He simply can’t wait to meet you, his new neighbor, who has the voice of an angel.

Eddie Munson Taglist:

@sweetpeapod

@saramelaniemoon

@eponaartemisa

@onehotgreasymechanic

@apolixyan

(Chapter 2 is out now! Read it at the link below!)

[charmedreincarnation]

ahhh not to put other bloggers down but i personally love your blog not just because you’re so insightful but you’re so comfortable with sharing your personal success stories! And personally there’s nothing more i love than success stories! helps build confidence even more! So thank you!!!

I had a question!

Background story- I had asked about how i could tap in the void the same night. Due to circumstances (i know bs excuse but yeah) i didn’t end up tapping in that night but lucky for me, whatever thing i was stressing over didn’t happen that day. But the thing isn’t revised yet if i’m being honest. It’s just that the situation was perfectly tailored with less time and i basically went home relaxed knowing the situation i was stressing over? they didn’t happen to mention it.

So my question is

like you mentioned in your recent answer, you revised you got your perfect grade, you kept thinking you had it and next day you woke up and had it

similarly, i have like an hour or two before i sleep tonight (tap in the void state) what is it that i should do? like dwell in the feeling of knowing i have tapped in the void before and am someone that enters the void easily and asleep while being aware of it? Your tips on this would be highly appreciated!! Basically what do i doooo?

(i definitely feel at peace like the feeling of i have already tapped in (even though i haven’t) because i have read your previous posts so know that i’m not desperate or stressed, just thought you should know🙈)

I think when i see your answers i just feel so motivated like i have my desired life already! And to not bitch about my circumstances but i really could use the transition already and just be on this app to chill you know?

Thank you for the kind words 😭😭😭🫶 I really do appreciate it.

I’m also really glad whatever you were worried out turned out to be fine. We always assume the worst is going to happen and per usual this but another instance of no matter what we’re okay at the end. I think letting this day come to pass is good for you. You don’t have to feel like you’re running away anymore, you’re doing it because you deserve to live the best life simply because you were born.

You mention you feel at peace, even though you didn’t tap in, but that’s because you know your success is inevitable. It’s the equivalent of ordering something on Amazon. You’ve ordered your packages already, they’re coming and you know they are . Did you choose the express, or regular delivery timing?? Even if you choose the regular one, it will still come earlier. In fact it’s already here and you know it’s here. So what do you do now?

I mean it’s up to you, if your desires are your package in that analogy what would you do? You can fall asleep imagining your dream life because you know you’re about to start living it. You can keep affirming to yourself for your final stage of validation. You could do another method. Or you can do nothing and rest easy because regardless it is here.

But yes I get your feeling. Scrolling through tumblr for your own accord and aesthetics is way more fun then digging through every blog to try to maybe find a way to get your desires and over consuming various Loa content. But no more. you already said it. you’re ready to live your chill desired life. Your emotions are already aligned with desires, hence why you feel content so let your 3D conform with them.

[themanifestingbrat]

Overconsuming = Overthinking

This is my personal experience of how overconsuming information has hindered me more than help me. A lot of uswill read success stories and loa information and be like, 'Wow, this is inspiring!' or 'Duh, I already know this!' Just to end up making the same exact mistakes as all the angry, rude anons that complain about their failure. If this sounds like you, I hope this helps you get out of your mind and realize your power.

I already had a pretty good self concept and knew Law of Attraction years ago. I had no problem manifesting things. Like everyone, I had a few limiting beliefs but I still managed to get what I want.

Then, I heard about Law of Assumption and found this to be waaaay easier. So, I unknowingly overconsumed information. Then, when it came to applying, I kept overthinking if what I was doing was right and the overthinking led to doubts and confusion. My self concept lowered a bit. I was really hard on myself and frustrated with the 3D. I definitely was not in the state of I AM.

I was still able to consciously manifest a lot of things during this time but when it came to the things that really mattered (or I had more resistance to), I found myself spiraling or wavering more often. I kept consuming information, sometimes I would take breaks but I always found myself watching Youtube videos and downloading this app over and over again 🙃. I was trying to find any blockages and reasons on why I wasn’t manifesting fast enough or why I wasn’t getting what I wanted so I can try to flip it. I was able to pick myself up again and “persist” in the new story however, I was dwelling in lack more than fulfillment unknowingly. I would beat myself up but then immediately switch to affirmations to try to make myself feel better. I felt like I was lying to myself and being ✨ delusional ✨ wasn’t really helping since I was such a logical person and I felt my subconscious could see through the bullshit.

I was always in my head thinking of why?, how?, when?!!! Eventually, I got tired of this, because I felt I was never able to really feel good without something negative tugging at me. How did I get out of this cycle?

Affirming

I affirmed mainly for my self concept & mental health. Reminding myself that I am really good at manifesting anything whenever I want. I can make a separate post about any and all affirmations I like to use.

Talking about it

After I had ENOUGH of the back and forth in my mind, I confided in my very spiritual best friend and my sister, who loves and knows all laws of manifestation like I do. Of course, both of them told me things I've already heard and knew but letting it out made me feel so much better.

Living in the moment

Whenever I found myself in my head too much, I would just breathe and be in the moment. I would find things in my 3D that are beautiful, that I enjoy, or that I am grateful for.

Listening to my dreams

I am a dreamer. I always have vivid dreams and I always remember them. Whenever I was saturating my mind about a certain desire in the daytime, at night, I would have a dream about having it. I would wake up feeling excited, refreshed, and powerful because of it! But sometimes my dreams would make it very clear to me whatmy doubts and fears of a particular desire are. For example, before I got into the void, I had a very clear dream that I didn't feel worthy enough or it was possible to have all my desires at one time. So immediately when I woke up, I affirmed the opposite.

I hope this helps because sometimes we re-read information we already know and make the same mistakes when we've should've known better. But if we actually apply it and do what feels right, it instantly just clicks!

[animehouse-moe]

Touring After The Apocalypse, Or, Weekend Touring. Who Knows

A bit of an explanation to start. Touring After The Apocalypse in Japanese is written as Shuumatsu Touring. "Shuumatsu" here has 2 meanings. The first, and the one used in the title is "end of the world". The Kanji is the reason you can say for certainty, but at the same time Shuumatsu can also mean "Weekend". The only difference being the first Kanji between the two. A fun little nod to the style and approach of the story for sure.

Speaking of that, what's it like? Well, to grossly generalize, it's a warmer Girl's Last Tour that has a stronger plot thread to it so far. But that doesn't really do it justice. It's almost an extension of slice of life in a post apocalyptic world, as Youko and Airi travel together, retracing the steps left by Youko's elder sister on a social media app like Instagram. It's a very sweet and simple concept, and on the surface is definitely comparable to how readers might approach a Slice of Life series in the first place.

Don't let it fool you though, otherwise you might get caught off guard every so often. It doesn't have problems with addressing the nature of a world shattered by war, as they make evident pretty quickly. Interestingly enough however, they don't like to dwell on these moments and instead allow them to pass over you like a wave, making for an odd feeling that's a bit hard to describe. It's not quite apathy, but an emotion that explains the permanence of the past and events that you can no longer change, like a passive sense of experience.

Back to the warmer stuff though, it really is a cute and pretty art style. The designs of the characters and their reactions to various things can really sell the vibe of some of the locations. More than a creative or very refined style, it's sort of a mixture of those two in terms of understanding. Shuumatsu Touring stretches the boundaries in a few areas and Sakae-sensei makes sure to explore them. Ridiculous and weird poses and movements that don't seem probable, and really emotive characters despite their simplicity.

Now the thing I've been dreading writing about, mystery. Oh so hard to explain without spoiling. Sakae-sensei dangles it in front of your face but doesn't make it impossibly hard to piece together. Where it leads to is a difference question entirely though, and what gets you. I wouldn't say it's the selling point to reading the series, but I definitely think it's something that works well in regards to providing an end goal for the story to reach so that it doesn't end itself wastefully. I guess more than mystery, I see it as trivia and a slow unravelling of the world and how it came to be. We learn stuff at a pretty steady pace through it all, but it's never something that commands the chapter or the girl's approach in reaching their next destination.

It's a sort of companion, and provides some really nice synergy. And I think that's what this first volume really stands out on. It's not something that has one incredible piece to it, or something that allows it to stand out completely. It's more a collection of small and fun pieces that are put together really well. It's certainly no masterpiece or critical work or emotionally impactful, etc. etc., and it doesn't really need to be. I sometimes have a hard time giving credit where credit is due when it doesn't fall into line with what's defined as "good" in the public eye, but Shuumatsu Touring is a solid, enjoyable, and worth it first volume.

You sink into it and enjoy the problem solving and interactions, the views and stories that accompany each location, the bit by bit breakdown of the world and its curiosities. It's the warm cup of tea you'll always relax with but never really praise for how good it is. And I definitely think it's always worth it for someone to have something nice and easy to relax with.

[trulyinspiringmovies]

Missing

“Missing” brings more of what made “Searching” so suspenseful and engaging, but still managed to keep me on the edge of my seat.

 June Allen plans to throw a house party when her mother and her new boyfriend go on a vacation to Colombia. She’s asked to pick the two of them up at the airport when they come back. On the day June is supposed to pick the two of them up, they never show up. This leads June down a rabbit hole of trying to find her mother. In order to do that, June must uncover some dark secrets.

In the thesis of my review of “Searching”, I called the adherence to show the story through screens a ‘gimmick’. I’m realizing now that that’s not the charitable description that these movies deserve. The fact that these movies are shown through this medium is actually perfect for a modern-day mystery. Technology has come so far and made so accessible that it’s the obvious tool to use when uncovering any type of mystery. We’ve all done a bit of internet sleuthing in our days and “Missing” captures that feeling perfectly. It’s such an effective way of getting the audience invested in the story because June uses apps and tools that we would use in that situation. The story never has to slow down to explain what these tools do because they’re ubiquitous enough for everyone to understand. This leads to a feeling of nonstop mystery and suspense throughout the whole film. I was so sucked into this movie that I caught myself flinching when something happened suddenly or letting out a cry of despair when something went wrong. I was scared that this movie was following the same framework as “Searching”. I was scared that it would be the same story, but this time it was from the perspective of the child. Luckily, this movie quashed all my worries when the first series of twists and turns took place. I will admit that there were similar beats to the first movie, but they either changed it up enough to feel fresh or spent significantly less time on them to focus on more original things. For example, a big part of “Searching” was watching how all of Margot’s classmates suddenly acted like her best friend when there was increased media attention on her disappearance. There’s something similar to that, but instead of sympathy, the public discourse skewed negatively. I wonder if that was a subtle way of commenting on how the news portrays victims that are women and/or people of color since the victim in this case was a black woman. It’s a small change that completely changed the tune of what the first film was going for in a genius way. Plus, they don’t dwell on it for too long since it was such a big part of the first film. Also, I want to praise Storm Reid’s performance in this. She has been in a ton of top-tier works lately and I’m becoming a fan of hers. She was great in “The Invisible Man”, “The Suicide Squad”, and she was great in that one episode of “The Last Of Us”. Of course, she brings her A-game to this project and I’m excited to see her in more things. All in all, I am becoming a huge fan of this franchise and I can’t wait to see more from them. I think it’s safe to say that they’re doing something different from the rest of what Hollywood is making and delivering extremely quality productions. Definitely check this movie and “Searching” out if you haven’t already. I promise you, you won’t regret it.

★★★★★

Watched on March 7th, 2023

[runveganwankerrun]

Wed 8th May 24

Well, I did one of the walking workouts on the app I bought, and it definitely made me feel as if I worked harder than if I'd just gone out without a programme. Perhaps this will be worth the money, just to give me a head start. It also encouraged me to walk a little more, in order to make my step count meet the daily total. That's not very high at the moment, just 6900, but it's more than I was generally doing, so it's a start. No doubt it will go up as the days go on. I paid for three months. I don't see me extending that, but I do actually think it'll be useful for the duration.

After my run/walk yesterday, I felt good. Glad I'd done it. Sad that I've let my fitness go so down hill. But there's no point dwelling on that. The progress has started.

I haven't been attending running club at all in months. It's at the point where there are loads of members who don't know me and I don't know them. I took on a committee role at the AGM in March, just to ensure that I stay involved. It's really worked for me. I'm in touch with people all the time. I'm not running much but I feel part of the club. Belfast marathon was run on Sunday just past, and I went to spectate. I was there all day. There's another event on Friday evening, which The Gorgeous Guy is running at, so I'll be there to shout abuse from the sidelines. It means I'll meet people I don't yet know, and probably take some photos. Runners alays appreciate pics of themselves at a race. Even ones where they're pulling a bake. Sometimes especially those.

As far as my own running is concerned, I signed up for the Rathlin 5k. I couldn't miss that! It's hilly as fuck, so I definitely need to get my game face on and run and get my fitness back. I did actually conside a run today, but decided to leave it. A walk is ample after finally running yesterday. Tomorrow is time enough.

Now I need to think about getting my eating under control. A diet of shite is a diet of shite, be it vegan or not. Ice cream, chocolate and cheese do not a healthy athlete make!

[selormohene]

day 111 (sunday, october 22nd 2023)

I've been single for almost exactly nine months now, and it feels so weird reflecting on just how much has changed in my life in general since then. And I guess also wondering, every now and then, how much of that has to do with having gotten out of a relationship versus more general life changes that happened to coincide with that. But mostly just realising how much my life has changed, how much I have changed, just in these few months. For instance there's someone who I've been hanging out with recently and she feels (to me, at least, idk how she feels about me) like an old friend. Like I feel like I've known her for years already, or at any rate more than a year. But apparently it's only been a few months. But then I think about that and I'm like, of course it's only been a few months, because we became friends after I moved to her and she turned out to be taken, so that could only have happened after I'd become single. And then I remember thinking to myself that I've recently become more outgoing, and then I'm stunned to realise that that actually only happened a few months ago, because I told the aforementioned friend about it, and then I remember that it happened around the time that the current first-years came for their visit and that was only in March or April of this year. It's a cascade of realisations and memories, and I don't know what it is, but perhaps it's the fact that my life seems to have been so eventful this year, out of nowhere, and I've changed so much in this short time as well, that it feels as though the before times were ages ago when they really weren't.

Anyway, for about a month after I became single I made it a point not to go on any dating apps, just so I wouldn't (a) do anything crazy or (b) fall into a spiral of frustration. (Or both!) But I've been back in the streets since then, and it's been a ride, to say the least. I've gone on a number of dates, I can't really say how many but quite a few, and I've interacted with quite a few more women in a context somewhere in the vicinity — romantic, platonic, exploratory, friend of a friend so who knows what might become of this, let me check my how far, I just met you but I'm going to be flirtatious because it's fun and also you never know, etc. And although I've learned a lot from all this, I'd say one thing that stands out to me, both in these experiences and in the mindset I've brought to them and taken from them, is something like being open to getting to know women and having relationships with women in a lot of different ways.

I remember writing once in my Twitter drafts, and it's something I've thought about a lot, that emotional intimacy with ambiguous romantic implications seems to have been the defining theme of my life in a lot of ways. Like the number of "what are we" I've had in my life in some form or another might be like one thousand. I'm not sure why that is, maybe it's one of those things where I knew I liked all of these women and/or that they liked me in that way, but none of us wanted to be the first one to initiate that conversation, and that's definitely been a theme, the fear of ruining a good but uncertain thing. But I also think that I've enjoyed the ability to be close to women in a way that might or might not have had some undercurrent of romantic tension — just the ability to be physically close, to have one's head on the other's lap or shoulder, to have deep conversations, to dwell in ambiguity, to lay awake not being sure of the exact nature of what one feels for someone, except that it's very strong — and even to realise, occasionally, that what one feels just is a deep connection that's nevertheless not romantic in nature. I guess I haven't had that with a lot of people, and partly because I'm straight even the significant male friendships I've had, and I think there have been some, have nonetheless been such as to have a lot less ambiguity concerning their romantic potential, right about zero in fact. When I entered a relationship, of course, all of that went away. And although I don't regret having experienced what it was like to have that one person who is completely and unambiguously yours, and you theirs, and although I genuinely valued having that experience, I think I did miss that other sort of thing, and in any case it's been lovely to have that back.

But it's different this time. I think there's a lot less ambiguity from my end, at least, or a lot less fear. I've just become better at talking to women more generally, but I'm also less wary of being upfront about what I want. (It also helps that the people I'm talking to seem to play games a lot less than when I was younger.) So now it's not entirely a matter of now knowing what I'm doing or what's going on, but being consciously open to getting to know women in a lot of different ways, enjoying whatever comes from the journey, and not having a fixed outcome (typically of the romantic variety) in mind, regardless of the sort of relationship to which the person in question and I would be best suited in light of our respective personalities, and in default of which the only alternative is never to speak to the people in question again. Of course it takes two people with a similar mindset for such things to work, and it also takes them to communicate so that they don't end up both going against their shared preferences in the light of das Man, but at least getting to this point has been a good thing for me, and has also transformed the way I've navigated the current phase of my life, and that's something I'm happy about.