#although knowing ig the someone is probably someone who hates me lmao

[rv2xlga]

sigh.

i realize i dont rant here enough like as much as i should. i should be drawing and not spending time being a fucking idiot ranting on TUMBLR at 2 am but shuake is just too serious for me

CUZ yall don’t understand my level of. crazy. my level of insane my level of obsession its been like 7 months of just straight up fixation and i always find the same things to feel the new feeling of love again for them. saw someone talking about their short film like a little summary on what its abt and the inspiration, a little love letter to their lover of sorts saying how the film is abt genuinely loving someone who is good to you for the first time, “This was the first time I would say "I love you" to someone, and it not come from a place of fear or a toxic one. This film is a celebration of vulnerability, and letting pure, secure love in without the constant impulse to self sabotage” I’ll quote and bc i cant think of love without immediately thinking of shuake (its a genuine problem lmao😭), i HAD to just think about them and yk what. idegaf their love is so beautiful to me. i think the idea of akechi having bpd and the same mental issues and disorders as me finding love in someone who is also very similar to him in some sense, like them both being autistic and such, just really speaks a lot to me.

im definitely not an opposites attract person, although they technically WOULD be opposites i think the whole troupe of “enemies” to lovers is the fact that they arent really enemies and actually have a lot more in common than first thought, at least when done well anyway so to me, they aren’t opposites when it comes to like. the things that matter like personality and the things that make people connect and become closer like the things u cant control ig lol but anywho, bc i hc (its basically canon) akechi having bpd i think thats why it means SO MUCH more to me and i love his character sm. he’s not my favorite, but bc that’s the first time i see a character like that be represented with something so similar to me and not be treated like a villain or just be really extreme like akechi is definitely. well. extreme but he’s not like, let’s say, like yuri level from ddlc like i wouldnt even consider that bpd she just straight up crazy😭 like idk, i just really relate to akechi so i really see him having bpd and bc ive always felt soo left out bc of my bpd even in spaces you would THINK would be safer, i always feel singled out somehow and although i still dont really know why, ig i see myself in akechi a lot and even akira too so the idea that parts of me could find that love and care like the fact that parts of me could find other parts of me, ig im not broken lmao like its all a little puzzle :)

okkk lore drop🔥🔥 got so hashtag emo there BUT that meant something i promise!!! that whole idea of feeling like ur missing something or theres just something wrong with u or ur unloveable or whatever, the idea that akechi felt that and FOUND it in akira makes my heart melt like a fucking fangirl i hate everything. i always think abt shuake and their love bc people always say how they are so toxic blah blah blah, and yk what, lemme not lie, that’s probably the truth! but i cant see them being soo toxic like that especially with how young they are like akechi was like. a few months of just turning 18, akira was 17 like they arent full grown adults even tho akechi was definitely aware enough to know what he was doing was wrong (even at 15 or however old he was when first helping shido i would say), you wouldnt understand the FULL severity of it like its a lot to explain but HOPEFULLY i make sense lol😭😭 and i think just being so young and growing through so much like im already. off. and i dont even live a life CLOSE to that EVER like of course he’s gonna be a little. off his rockets🤩 i mean what did yall expect😭 i keep using this phrase but yea!! so the idea of him meeting akira and finally being able to feel that youth and enjoy parts of life that typically teenagers get to live is si sweet to me.

mind u, im not saying that him living that “teenage life” is the way it HAS to be lived bc i think my life is better without those things as a teen myself and its most definitely not necessary but to me, akechi is just like. a very much stan twitter gay guy😭 he has his little bit of nerd (WHICH I LOVE^_^) but like anyone, of course he would want and need that friendship, that connection. do i believe he wouldn’t really care abt friends and shit? yea bc look, i dont really care for that myself but i wont lie to you and tell u i would love just ONE good connection in my life like yk, a friend i actually want but im not gonna be all friendless here so back to akechi!😊 he’s just very normal high schooler to me, ONE THING I LOVE ABT HIM AND SUMI ACTUALLY. i feel like with sumi, because ae doesn’t know like anything abt akechi’s past and what’s he’s done and stuff i feel like akechi just gets to live a “regular high schooler life” with sumi, yk? like everytime akechi and sumi would hang out (i like to believe they would hang out pre royal idgaf🥱) and akechi would complain or talk akira, sumi would just think “ah he’s on his crush thing again” like ae has NO CLUE he’s gonna shoot him in the head and yk what. that connection definitely means something bc that would be the first person akechi has ever met his age who ISNT involved in his “work life”?? like isn’t involved in his cases and shit like. a genuine healthy friendship🤯🤯🤯 and thats ANOTHWR reason i love sumigoro (make fun of me all u want but i seriously do not. gaf😜😝) bc i think akechi would really go and mess that up, he’d be like “wait. do i actually like sumi” all bc of the fact that they have a good connection and akechi isnt used to that

WHICH brings me to what i was GOING TO bring up (sorry for the crazy detour) but YEA, the whole idea of having a love and always feeling the need to self sabotage reminds me smm of shuake. akechi going and ruining their connection even though there was definitely ways he could’ve gone abt killing shido…. with the phantom thieves’ health possibly👀👀???? i feel like that was the prime explain of self sabotage, guilt and the fact that he wasnt even actually processing what he did and HAS done. like that one scene after 11/20 where he’s in the studio filming and their asking him abt the pts and he gets slient and thinks abt some shit like abt the pts and sorta feels guilty (idk if thats the undesirable child scene i think it is but im not sure lol) but yeah that, that is the PRIME explain of processing and guilt. after killing people and doing all that shit for so long i think that was the first time it actually hit him like “oh shit wait. i’ll never see these people again” like the idea that it hit so close to home, these were kids HIS age, even younger too and.. what EYE like to believe, people he thought probably deserved more life than even himself (like the after thought of it) bc u cannot convince me he really sent his ass over to shido’s palace just to tell joker some shit like girl. and getting himself killed too like naww that’s embarrassing as shit😭😭 like ik thats talked abt and thats what the whole scene is abt but like. EXACTLY he felt guilt for his actions and felt he needed to atone!! HE HADNT REALLT PROCESSED ANYTHING IF HE WAS FEELING THAT NOWW ofc he was going to get innocent people killed like. YEA😭😭 but he’s a fucking kid like what did u expect him to do, even if i had that power even with the current knowledge i have☝️🤓 i wouldnt even realize wtf im doing like yk ur doing something bad, but as a smart kid too.. its all abt competition lol, but in all seriousness tho and they show that in the game

ok sorry got off track again but yea, self sabotaging his love with akira all for the competition of it all, clearly i will never just flow into it naturally so ill state it plainly, self sabotaging his love and overall genuine connection with akira bc thats all he was ever thought to do, from his own mother and obviously, his own father. had to sabotage the love he had for his mother bc well. she ended up kwording herself😭😭 and had to sabotage the love for his father (which didnt exist to me idc) bc he had to kill him, i mean. he was awful😭😭 so having that constant battle between that, thats one thing i LOVE like ADORE ABOUT SHUAKE i love the idea that they could be vulnerable with each other i also love akira and his personality cuz he compliments akechi so well in SO MANY WAYS whoever wrote and made their characters and storylines personally ate with their yaoi deliverance😍😍 LMAO that was a joke but honestly. gave us such a good ship TY🙏 atlus at least for SOMETHING ur good at like like the thing i quoted said, THE WAY THAT IF ATLUS WOULDVE GAVE US AN I LOVE YOU BETWEEN THEM. aside from the fact i would’ve killed myself and died and then fell off a cliff and then kill myself again and killed myself a 3rd time just to make sure i also would’ve cried SO BAD, ik thats asking for WAYY TOO MUCHH but let a girl dream smh like IT WOULDVE MESNT SO MUCH AND HAD SM WEIGHT, it truly would’ve been akechi’s first ily that would’ve came from a genuine good place or would’ve been the first ily he ever heard that didnt try to manipulate or gain smth out of him!! which is. BEAUTIFUL ALL WAYS U LOOK AT IT like they definitely had their ups and downs (shuake i mesn) but the fact akira still wouldve loved him and seen him through everything is just so. something abt the unstable and the unstable but a little more stable dynamic😍😍 but seriously tho lol, i love their connection. again, it just speaks a lot to me SO PERSONALLY i hate everything

one thing i love abt royal is how we got to see akechi’s character a bit, i do like the royal writing a lot for this reason, some parts felt like aww yk lol and kinda reminiscent to the beginning of the game which felt a lot more genuine even tho royal’s writing felt more fanservicey, it had SOME sense of like, ok the characters arent written toooo bad here like the middle of persona so i appreciated it and u can tell atlus put a lot more work on the royal trio scenes (the fanservice was crazy in that part😭) so i also loved that too lol bc again, we got to see akechi’s character and the effect joker had on him and how like. less of an asshole he was like i wish we could’ve seen just a BIT more of him. again again i just LOVE dynamics like shuake and seeing characters grow and shit and shuake just does it so well UGH i hate them😭😭

[bruceedickinson]

I didn’t see anything about this on instagram, I found out through the FC forum

[voidstilesplease]

ELITE: Season 1 (Episode 1) Summary & Notes

*of course this contains spoilers*

Episode Title: Welcome

Summary: After a public high school collapses, the builder tries to repair its image by paying for three impacted students to attend an exclusive private school. (description straight from Netflix)

EH!:

Starts very dramatically, but I’m really oddly.... into it? Right off the bat, you see a crime scene; you see blood, you see the police getting involved… basically, you see the deal. Someone’s dead. Could be anyone, and the killer could be anyone as well. You might be attached to the dead person by the end of the season, or rooting for the killer all along. Who knows. And I love that.

The outside shot of the school is gorgeous. I don't know what I expected, since it's literally supposed to be an ELITE school, but yeah. I was very impressed.

Another really impressive thing is: Nadia. I just love the girl. I don't know how to express it in words. I just do. I want more of her.

“When your name is Nadia Shanaa, you better know what can get you expelled.” HOOOO THIS LINE. The connotation of this line is of course not the least bit amusing, but I love how homegirl came prepared. Lmao. Like, 'I'm already here. I'm not going out. None of y'all rich brats will make me. This is my shot, and I'm not throwing it away.'

On a similar note, Samuel’s introduction to the class is *chef’s kiss*. Though it’s self-deprecating, I think it’s the perfect way to show that he’s unfazed by the prejudice from them wealthy kids. That makes him kinda the opposite of Nadia because homegirl wants that trophy and the Ivy League, I can already tell, and she lets them know it - but I’d like to interpret Samu as kind of passive-aggressive, at least? Might actually not be the case, of course, and Samu’s really just this gentle dude who stays away from confrontations, but I still enjoyed the clap back when it happened.

And this one, lol. Okay. I knew there was gonna be lots of sex and nudity in this show (hello, Manu freaking Rios seduced me into doing this) but in the case that I didn’t, I think it’s…… very considerate of Netflix to let us know that they’re not gonna be shy from showing asses and breasts in this series. And sixteen-year-olds having sex in the goddamn shower. Christ. (I mean. Why am I surprised anyway? I just said Manu Rios made me do this, and his character's probably the STAR of the boys locker 🤣) Anyway....

Marina is cool, I guess… That thing about her STD is terrible irl, but an interesting plot point for the series imo. It sheds light to her rebellious streak and why she kinda has issues with her parents and Guzman who's really overprotective of her.... I don't know? Will that be important? Will she, like, infect someone? Will that somehow play into the main plot?

ALSO, important note: Ander is my male eye candy this ep, lol. He's really cute.

THE DEAD BODY REVEAL AT THE END WTF. Is this how it’s gonna be for the next seasons? Because I am shooketh. I didn't expect to know who died so early. But thanks, ig? Lol. Now I know not to invest my emotions in Marina 😂.

MEH?:

All right, I don’t hate Christian, but I strongly dislike him the first second he’s on-screen. Maybe he came on too strong? Idk. He just felt forced somehow? Although I admit the walking naked in the corridor scene was hilarious, I'm still not sold. He is very imposing in a very annoying way. Can’t even really blame Guzman for being an asshole to him lol. This brings us to the next bullet:

Guzman is an asshole. He has reasons I’m sure, and he’ll eventually drop from the high horse, but for now…. he's meh to me.

NO. They did not call the hijab an accessory. Yo, wtf is that? And they also threatened Nadia’s wearing it as a probable ground for expulsion? YO, that’s not cool. They should reevaluate that handbook and make it more open to diversity. Like??? Honestly, fuck you, ma’am.

Yooooo Samu’s older brother is a trouble-maker. And not the type that I enjoy, too. Not against it, I love trouble-makers as much as the next bitch, but I just haven’t found the reason to appreciate him? I’m sure I’ll figure out where he stands in the next episodes because he seems like an important part of the big picture. But in this ep? Nuh. No. Bye.

I'm just gonna come out and say it: I hate Lu. Which is the same reason why I should have loved her, in this backward logic of mine. And actually, she was part of my EH!s. Until that racist comment to Nadia. They’re just really bothered by her hijab huh.

Polo is hella attractive but idk wtf’s up with him? And Carla, too. Their relationship was ????? Voyeurism and consensual cheating are common kinks in the many fandoms I’ve been in (and read fics for), but…… that sex scene between Christian and Carla with Polo watching through a mirror was really lmfao ?????

Finally, I am NOT a fan of the attraction between Nano and Marina. Not at all. But I guess nothing comes out of it in the end, right, or at least nothing that lasts into the second season. Because, well…. The DEAD BODY REVEAL lol. That’s good. Perfect. But as long as Marina’s alive, and I guess she will be until the last episode, a relationship forming between her and Samu’s brother is not impossible. And that’s what I’m most dreadful about. Because I can already see it happening asgbfdhfdj. And I don’t wanttttttttt.

Standout character of the episode: Nadia

Character idfc about: Christian???

Overall: I think it's a very solid pilot episode!

Gonna do two or more episodes at a time in the next. I'm excited!!! And I wanna add screenshots, but Netflix doesn't allow it 😒

[anya-grace]

Two beautiful people sent me an ask about my rivetra actors au, and boyyyy let me tell you, it was so fun making them again 😍 thank you to the pretty souls who asked this! 💘

The first actors au were from season 1 and 2, this one will focus on the filming of season 3 until the last season :) here you go!

more rivetra actors!au headcanon (some are nsfw-ish)

- Let me get straight to the point: lots of sex. Car sex. On-set sex. Dressing room sex. Name it.

- Both of them are aware that it was unprofessional, but there was a time when they did not see each other for more than a month because of their (especially Levi’s) busy and conflicting schedule, so when Petra surprised him on set, the frustration and longing just piled up and they had sex.

- Then it became a habit.

- And this habit, of course, didn’t go unnoticed by the other casts and even crews of the show. Armin heard them once, and the poor boy made a mental note to never ever come close to Levi’s room again.

- The older casts are fine with it since, you know, normal adult stuff. But for the love of the three Walls, can you lovebirds tone the moaning down? People are trying to get some sleep wtf.

- Levi’s make-up artist had to deal with the pain of covering his hickeys (courtesy of Ms. Petra Ral) every shoot. The ones on his neck, especially those near his adam’s apple were the most visible. And since Captain Levi rarely wore a cravat in season three, part one, it made the work harder for the make-up artist.

- As compensation, Petra always bought a special souvenir for Levi’s make-up artist whenever she flies overseas for her theater shows.

- For the premiere of season 3, Levi took Petra as his date on the red carpet. It was the first event they attended publicly as a couple.

- It was a big milestone for their relationship because they are both public figures. And we all know what happens when celebrities publicize their relationships, it is prone to issues and controversies.

- And you can very well guess that Levi Ackerman showing off his beautiful girlfriend to the press was big news. As big as the AoT premiere even.

- During the air of season three, Levi became more famous and he attracted many overseas fans as well as international actresses because of his brilliant scenes with Kenny.

- Although Petra is not the jealous type, she admitted that somehow it affected her when other international actresses expressed their admiration towards Levi. Some even said that Levi is their type and they are looking forward to working with him in the future.

- When Levi sensed this, he immediately headed to his IG and posted a picture of Petra with a very cheesy caption lmao. Forgive him, he's new to this kind of relationship.

- Did I mention he also posted a picture of them kissing in front of the Eiffel tower?

- Only a few know this, but the real Levi is one clingy boyfriend.

- He is very touchy when it comes to Petra. He just really loves holding her. Sometimes he just randomly hugs her, caresses her, nuzzles her. He just loves having skin-to-skin contact with her.

- His love language is actions and gestures.

- His favorite gesture to do to Petra is a back hug with his arms under her boobs. It was a soft gesture and it wasn't sexual in any way...until it did.

- More than half of their sex started with Levi touching Petra’s underboobs tbh.

- Sometimes Levi thinks that he's neglecting Petra and more than once he considered quitting the show business for her. But then he’ll see her smiling at him, and she tells him that she's very proud of what he’s doing and that she's happy that she gets to support him with doing the things he is really passionate about and just… all he could think of that time is that he wants to marry this amazing woman.

- He is also supportive of Petra’s theater actress career, of course. And he hates the fact that he needs to hide whenever he watches one of her shows since people eventually gather around him asking for an autograph and he feels that it’s rude for Petra. This is her moment and he doesn’t want to ruin it for her.

- Hence, his all-black and mysterious get-up whenever he watches her show.

- AoT season three was a huge success and plans for season four are already on the move. Casts were given a long break before the shooting began again and both Petra and Levi took this as a chance to bond together.

-Petra's favorite thing to do with Levi is playing with animals. She has a soft spot for animals, and she wanted for them to adopt a pet but she knew that the poor animal will only be given less attention because both of them are always busy.

-When Petra's theater world tour ended, she and Levi started living together. They didn't have the chance to do it before since they were both busy.

-Them living together is probably the height of their relationship. They fought, they had sex, they laughed, they played, they bathe together. They did everything together and it was a beautiful experience.

- For their third anniversary, Levi booked a vacation on a private island for a week. It was also their last bonding because Levi is going to start filming again for season four in less than a month.

- They did not communicate with anyone during that one week. It was just them, and they made the most of it.

- Mornings were spent for morning sex and breakfast in bed. Afternoons were for swimming, sleeping, cuddling, hugging, kissing, and every activity they could think of doing. They explored the island, they petted stray animals, they dived into the ocean, they build sandcastles, they ate different dishes, they had sex in caves and while swimming on the beach, they climbed trees, they bought souvenirs, and most importantly, they took many pictures together.

- Evenings were the most romantic of all. They had sex in the darkness of their own room while they hear the ocean waves crashed to the shore outside and as the sea breeze cooled their sweat-slicked skin. They took the time to explore each other’s body like it’s their last (because it will be in a matter of days).

- On their last night, Pet cried while they’re having sex. Levi’s face was buried on the crook of her neck and she was moaning one moment, and then the next she’s sobbing like a poor little baby.

- She said that she’d gotten used to life with Levi always by her side and she didn’t want it to ever change. Levi comforted her. He petted her hair, and he said that it’s going to be okay. He kissed her head, then her hair, her face, and her body. Then they had the most emotional and meaningful sex of their entire life.

- Levi started shooting again for season four. Petra, like the past seasons, visits him as much as she can. It was hard adjusting to this type of life again, but she’s a strong woman. And besides, she’s going to start rehearsing for another theater show again.

- They need to undergo medical check-ups before the casting and she found out then that she is pregnant with Levi’s baby.

- It freaked her out. She and Levi never talked about babies before since they’re busy with their careers, and their relationship has always been just the two of them.

- Levi was out of town for the shoot, and she didn’t want to tell him the good news on the phone so she patiently waited until he got home.

- He was greeted with a fancy dinner, and a “Welcome home, Daddy” by Petra. Levi thought that it was her being cheeky and naughty at first, but when dinner ended and she ran for her life to the sink, that’s when he started getting worried. And when Petra showed him the positive result in her medical check-up, well, let’s just say that on that day, Levi Ackerman received a good reminder of what he did to her on their vacation months ago.

- But seriously, he was seconds away from calling his manager and dropping his AoT contract just so he can take care of Petra and their baby. Petra said that it was fine, and she doesn’t want him to quit.

- Levi apologized to Petra many times because he wasn’t there when she discovered it, but she assured him that it was alright and it wasn’t his fault. God, he’s with the perfect woman.

- Since Levi is a big shot in the industry, he demanded control over his schedules. Honestly, he wanted to be at her side 24/7. He wanted to see her belly swell as months went by. He wanted to be the one to satisfy her midnight pregnancy cravings. He wanted to kiss her face and her belly first thing in the morning.

- He convinced Petra to move temporarily to the Ackerman family house where Levi’s parents are staying. Kenny and Mikasa also lived in the same affluent neighborhood. He had doctors, and helpers, and bodyguards hired for Petra. But she said that she’s too uncomfortable with many people around her.

- Petra and Levi’s mom build a bond of their own. She’d gotten to know more of Levi through his mother’s perspective. The older woman showed her Levi’s teenage room, his past awards, his photos, his audition tapes that weren’t out for the public, and she fell in love with him more.

- They had a super private wedding with their relatives and closest friends. Petra was six months pregnant by that time and season four is planned to air three months from now.

- So, you know about that one holy Rivetra panel where Petra is looking back to Levi? The reason why the scene was not in the actual show was that she is pregnant. That’s why the directors are forced to use old scenes from season one instead.

- Despite all the efforts of being private, paparazzi and the media still caught wind of the secret wedding, and rumors about Petra being pregnant started circulating over the internet. Levi shut down these rumors every time someone attempted to question him in his interviews.

- When the shooting ended, Petra was already eight months into pregnancy. As per tradition, the cast and staff held an after-party, but Petra was surprised when it became a baby shower for her instead.

- The baby was supposedly due in the third week of December, but Petra’s water broke around the first week instead and she started her labor. She ended up having the same birthday as their healthy baby boy.

- The baby was named River Ackerman. He was named after Levi’s role where he won the Best Actor Award when he was seventeen. It was also a tribute to Levi’s role in AoT since his name was sometimes spelled as ‘Rivaille’ on many occasions.

[seoafin]

Hi there! I was wondering, what do you think about the whole cheater!Gojo takes? Do you think he would ever cheat on rip!MC if they happened to be together?

before anyone gets any ideas the opinions exhibited below are just that: my opinions. please do not come at me for stating MY opinions. if you think gojo is a fuckboy, good for you!

i’d also like to say that i hate cheating. i think it’s horrible. i hate reading about it, and while im not averse to writing it i wouldn’t write it gratuitously and i wouldn’t romanticize it either. i’ve never been in a relationship past fucking, but i truly believe that nobody deserves to get cheated on. know your worth!!!

i know the fandom has somewhat made gojo into a fuckboy caricature and ig i see how a lot of ppl took akutami saying gojo couldn’t be faithful to mean that he leads on girls and breaks their hearts but I personally didn’t interpret it that way??? i thought it just meant that gojo doesn’t do relationships. like i can see him in fwb relationships, but I don’t think actual relationships are something he’d enter into easily considering the questions that would arise pertaining to his job, his disappearances, etc. and believe or not, i do think gojo takes his job seriously contrary to how he acts. all in all, a fwb is much easier. no strings attached + you get your mutual desires taken care of.

also like gojo can be cruel and manipulative but i don’t think he’d be unnecessarily cruel and manipulative without reason and i really can’t see gojo being cruel to the ppl he’s in a relationship with??? for what??? the ego boost?? gojo’s egoistic but not in that way. it just comes off as pathetic to me and gojo doesn’t need any more reasons for me to think he’s pathetic 💀 and if he did cheat.....weirdly enough i don’t think it’d be for malicious reasons (although all cheating IS malicious.) i think gojo’s lowkey the type to self sabotage so there’s that lmao

in the end...hmmm maybe. who can say? im not akutami :D but if it’s true then i’ll choose to ignore that part of him because while i don’t like to stray from canon, if there's one thing i hate most in the world it's cheating therefore i would literally not be able to write gojo (in a romantic context) if i thought he’d cheat on rip!mc

anyway here’s a read more since this is getting long

i don’t think gojo would cheat on rip!mc because he’s in love and you don’t cheat on people you love <3

if he did.......rip!mc’s pretty fatalistic when it comes to herself, so she’d probably think it was her fault. but at the same time lmaooo i don’t think rip!mc would even know they’re in a relationship. she’d probably assume they’re just fwb (bc rip!mc doesn’t do relationships either but for different reasons tho) and nothing else so there ARE boundaries in place. on her side not gojo’s since we all know how much he loves to ignore those LOL. if gojo cheated on her even then....she’d probably think that she assumed they were mutually exclusive so it’s not really his fault for her own misconception on what their relationship entailed but at the same time gojo’s a jealous person so it’s not exactly her fault she interpreted him telling her that he was the only one she was allowed to have sex with as mutually exclusive either!!!

gojo cheating would be gojo at his worst so gojo at his worst would probably take advantage of that confusion to weasel himself back into her life bc he wouldn’t be able to let her go either. and i think that’s kinda the worst possible place for the two of them because rip!mc would take gojo hoeing around bc she’s always ascribed to the idea that she’s going to die so she’d still want him to find someone. anyway i feel gross just talking about this like that would be the absolute Bad Place. they’d both be miserable.

in the end gojo can't cheat on rip!mc if they aren't in a relationship to begin with <3

[fricklefracklefloof]

tag game!! ty @pocketsizedquasar for tagging me :))

1- Why did you choose your url

my url is just the same un i use for other sites that i post art on (instagram, deviantart, etc) BUT the original idea came from when i was in... shudders... middle school... there was a short period of time where i kept saying "FRICKLE FRACKLE" as a substitute for fuck or something and then i just tacked on floof because i'm a furry

i've been wanting to change my url for like a month now i'm just too scared of change lol </3

2- Any side blogs?

not... really? except for @jesperofficial but that's a joke soc roleplay blog i don't use anymore

3- How long have you been on tumblr?

since 2019 i think? it's been over a year

4- Do you have a queue tag?

no because i rarely queue you get my posts when you get them

5- Why did you start your blog in the first place?

i started this blog as a throwaway account because i wanted to join the grishaverse big bang. i didn't even want to join tumblr at the time but i wanted to be a part of the event more so i made it just so they'd have something to link back to LMAO. but then i started like... yknow talking to people who only used this site... and then i started lurking when i was really really bored... and then my friends convinced me to check the site like every day... and then i started posting only my fanart and then i downloaded the app on my phone and it was just downhill from there. sigh.

6- Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

i just like guillermo i just really like how his face came out in that drawing he looks cute <3

7- Why did you choose your header?

umm i like using my own art for stuff like this bc it makes me feel better about using images that i've created myself instead of possibly stealing from someone else and i think that drawing was cute it makes me happy :) it's kinda old though i might change it plus the fact that i added like 2394587394587 filters to it to make it fit the pink aesthetic is showing painfully

8-What’s your post with the most notes?

this jon + the admiral comic i made a while ago :) it's cute i think it's a bit cheesy and also kinda old but i'm very very proud of how i drew the admiral in that one so i'm happy that this one ended up being my top post lmao

9- How many mutuals do you have?

shit idk i don't really like the whole "mutual" thing i think we should just be friends instead of pretending that we are

10- How many followers do you have?

405 :o i didn't know that

11- How many people do you follow?

368! i don't even remember who i follow sometimes lmao

12- Have you ever made a shitpost?

probably

13- How often do you use Tumblr each day?

at least once a day </3 used to hate myself for it but now i just embrace it

14- Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

ummm i mean i GUESS you could call them fights i've gotten anon hate for stupid shit and have had um. Discussions with people about racism in the grishaverse but most of them were pretty one-sided i've never had full on reblog chains or Tumblr User Fricklefracklefloof Vs Other Tumblr User fights it's just. someone saying something and then me replying. i try to be civil.

although i did have a friend once (or ig we were just "mutuals") who flat out blocked me with no response after i said something mildly accusatory and i still haven't recovered from that </3 just communicate with me please goddamn

15- How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

i get the point they're trying to make but they're guilt trippy and ultimately don't end up solving the issue they think they're solving. (i'm assuming we're talking about the human rights posts that are all like "if you don't reblog this you're a monster!!" etc etc.) yes it's important to speak up about issues but by telling people they Have To Reblog This Or Else it just... scares people into supporting something without going through the critical thinking about it. at least that's how i see it. you can't truly support something if you don't understand wtf you're talking about. reblogging something like that for the sake of reblogging it is just... well it's performative.

16- Do you like tag games?

yes :)

17- Do you like ask games?

YEA THEY SEEM FUN i've never done one before bc idk i'm scared no one's gonna wanna do it with me but yes i think i would enjoy them

18-Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?

oh i know who is tumblr famous but i don't wanna out them like that

19- Do you have a crush on a mutual?

ahaha! ahahahaha! that's funny i'm not sharing that

tagging @souleatering (or whatever blog you wanna use wybie idk) @jawbonemage and whoever else wants to :)

[beachytablecloth]

brooke my beloved, since you were curious--

okay so the reason i only have one tag blocked is because for the longest time, i did Not know how to block tags so i kind of just. let it happen. (actually just learned how to filter on ao3 i little while ago thanks to grace, can't you tell i'm great with technology? 😌) and honestly once i learned it was like a spur of the moment thing, like, not to make an office reference, but ya know how they were like "michael has to fire someone and hasn't, he'll prolly fire the first person that makes him mad"? that was how blocking the tag went oiuyfdghjiko

the first post that made me mad was the tag i blocked and--don't judge me--it's the httyd movies 😬 ik everyone loves them but i. i love the books. so much. and the movies are uhhh they are Very Different from the books. like. percy jackson movie level different, and the books were like. a huge part of my childhood. plus, they replaced my favorite character with astrid to give hiccup a love interest and that is unforgivable in my mind because camicazi is the best God i love that tiny scary blonde child she's so funny

anyWAYS i won't go on a rant about how much they make me :/// cause i know most of my mutuals really like the movies and i wanna be respectful, but tbh one of the reasons it's blocked and makes me mad is because people would like. genuinely get mad at me in high school when i told them that i didn't like the movies and preferred the books??? like, i was in a class one time and okay i was one of four seniors in the class so it could be because it was a Pretty young class, but i mentioned that i did Not like the movies and they all Literally yelled at me for it and basically said my opinion was stupid and wrong and i had to go "we need to stop this conversation because y'all are making me mad and imma say something i'll regret later" and surprisingly that worked ??? but yeah, so one of the main reasons the movies fill me with rage is because of everyone in my life who got genuinely mad at me for not liking me lol great times

anYWAYS yeah. the next tag i block will probably be the next post that fills me with rage. thinking about blocking divergent now because i walked into two of my roommates and their friends watching the first movie and that filled me with rage (do not even get me started on divergent because that history is just as complicated as the httyd movies lol)

anyways this is really long. i am *sparkle emoji* procrastinating homework *sparkle emoji* so ig i made this as long as possible to Not do homework lol love you hope you're having a good day <3

omg hi corey <3 sorry for answering this so late i'm. just like that.

ok first of all i'm old af and have been on tumblr so long that i used to used extensions to block tags/ content -- most people remember xkit, but anybody remember tumblr savior??? yeah i'm ancient. so blocking tags is like second nature to me. plus i spent a lot of time in the one direction fandom so there was a lot of stuff that needed to be filtered out. hahaha. i love that you only recently learned to filter on ao3 kasjd;flj but tbf ao3 is a v confusing website!!!!

also. i LOVE the httyd movies, but NO judgment from me here. i totally understand loving a book series and hating how the movies change things. i never read the httyd books, so i never had anything to compare the movies to. totally understand your rage though.... you should've seen me when i first saw the sixth movie of a not-to-be-named disgraced franchise. i was LIVID.

but i'm so sorry people got so mad at you??? i understand how passionate people can be about the things they like, but there's no excuse to like. literally fight about it! that's so messed up :(

if you ever want to rage about divergent my inbox is always open because oh my god, did that series make me angry lmao

anyway i love your long messages please send them anytime (although i probably shouldn't encourage procrastinating..... jk i am the queen of procrastination)

<3

[birlcholtz]

Fic Questions

tagged by @the-lincyclopedia thank you!! (fun game: watch my writing get progressively less formal as the post continues. by the end it’s like what is capitalization)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

77!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

434,378 as of this week but it does go up quite regularly

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Okay so in terms of what’s on my AO3, I have Check Please, All For the Game, Sharp Zero, HP, and Miraculous Ladybug. I also have The Forbidden LOTR and PJO Fanfiction (as in, I’ve written it, but it’s never seeing the light of day)

(technically there is a PJO fic out there that has seen the light of day but I orphaned it because I was tired of getting comments asking about when it would be updated)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

and then i met you (and the whole world changed)

for the better

Knew It Was You

come home (to you, to us)

sin bin schematics

All of these are Check Please and all of them except Knew It Was You are part of my Zimbits Airport AU!

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! It’s actually a very recent thing that I’ve started not responding to literally every single comment. Mainly I respond because I love talking about my writing so I am going to seize that opportunity when it comes up

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Oh, DEFINITELY Happy Birthday (HP). Check out that MCD tag ahah. (I say HP but what I really mean is that I write fic about Regulus Black. The Regulus Black-centric tag is my home in the HP fandom)

fun fact: this is a very short fic that I wrote when I was 15 and basically forgot about until recently, and then I reread it recently and went holy shit?? I pulled NO punches????

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the wildest one you’ve written?

Not a ton? I think a lot of the fandoms I write for don’t really mesh that well. That being said, the aforementioned orphaned PJO fic is actually a PJO/ML crossover, so there’s that

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nope! Sometimes I get comments that are just.... really confusing? And a more common thing is that in my AFTG fic I’ll get comments from people who are so focused on Andreil (or the most common ships in general) to the point that like. they miss the point of what I actually wrote. Those are annoying but they’re not hate, they’re very enthusiastic, they’re just... enthusiastic about a story I’m not writing? So it’s a bit frustrating.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

No sjflskgjhgf I struggle enough to write kissing, I think if I ever tried to write smut my brain would just shut down. I’ve managed some fade-to-blacks (which are mostly in WIPs that haven’t been posted) but they rely HEAVILY on the powers of implication

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, although I have occasionally made a brief go of it, not to post, more as an exercise for myself in a language that I’m learning. Anyway I never finish them so I’m gonna say no

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not really? I’ve definitely group brainstormed fics and then written them (the best example of this being Q&A (AFTG), which was the product of a truly off-the-walls group chat), but I tend to do all the actual writing myself. I think the way I write would drive a co-writer up the wall since it’s very disorganized and I don’t write stuff down because ~I know what’s gonna happen I don’t need notes~ and it would infuriate me if I was co-writing with me lmao, so I won’t inflict that on someone else

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I regularly move through ships I’m SUPER focused on, like it’s kind of a rotation. I will forever and always ship Percabeth though.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Okay so if you follow me at @birlwrites you may know this already, but i have this ‘warmups’ document that is just like, random ideas i get that i don’t necessarily want to finish but i just want to try out for a bit? and i have a rule that once a ‘warmup’ is more than 10 pages long (so 11+) then it has to be moved to its own document, just to make scrolling through the warmups doc easier. but usually, a warmup only passes 10 pages when i’m INTO it. so i have a bazillion wips i will probably never finish. i complain about this a lot. i have so many wips. i don’t need more.

here’s one: it’s titled ‘interrobang doesn’t know they’re dating’, it’s basically a full outline for a chowder/tango fic and it would be SO cool if i could ever like. get around to writing it. but i am constantly swamped with writing projects, so it’s probably not gonna happen. if anyone’s interested in adopting it though i’d be down for that!! i think it’s a fun idea i just almost def won’t write it myself

15. What are your writing strengths?

SNAPPY DIALOGUE AND SNARKY INTERNAL MONOLOGUE. my writing is COMEDIC, 90% of my ideas are based on a funny snippet that popped into my head, a lot of my worldbuilding is based on ‘hey you know what would be hilarious’ (whenever i explain how larai selects a chosen one in the rainfall universe i start laughing, which is a STARK contrast to how it plays out on the page), i love writing funny stuff!!

also i think my writing sounds nice, a lot of the time i pick words/syntax based on sound and flow so there’s that too. and i have lots of ideas! i don’t struggle much with writer’s block because a) i have a lot of strategies to deal with it and b) i have a lot of ideas to help get around it/work with it

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

PHYSICAL INTIMACY LMAO, sometimes in my end notes on shippy fics you can see me complaining ‘it took me literally 4 hours to write that very brief kiss’. also sometimes the humor in my writing gets in the way a bit, i have to very consciously put it away so characters can actually have serious, genuine emotions. also i don’t like outlining and i tend not to get betas for fanfiction so like..... i do my best continuity-wise but having really tightly plotted stories is just not my focus lol. (and i do put more effort into that for original stuff, it’s just fic where i kind of go wild)

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

If the reader’s supposed to know what it means, then writing it in another language is iffy for me. (stuff like terms of endearment which come up a lot in fic are fine imo, you can just put a note in to translate them and your reader will prob remember)

If the pov character isn’t supposed to understand it, and it doesn’t matter if the reader understands it, then ig it’s fine? but unless you already speak the other language (and i am NOT confident in my ability to translate english into literally any other language), then i think it’s way easier to just note that a character’s speaking x language and provide tone indicators, body language cues, etc. so the reader understands as much as the pov character.

That being said there are def times when it’s used super effectively--the dialogue in spanish in cemetery boys comes to mind! that’s not fanfic but it’s still creative writing so w/e

so i guess it comes down to: does actually writing out the dialogue in the other language serve a purpose? if it doesn’t, then you’re filling up the screen with words your reader isn’t likely to understand, which i try to avoid doing

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

so the first fandom i actually *wrote* for was PJO, but i distinctly remember creating warrior cats OCs when i was little. i never actually did anything w them but i had them and my favorite was a riverclan warrior named shellstream i remember this VIVIDLY

19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve ever written?

oh boy. okay so this is hard because i feel like i’m continuously improving as a writer. like in the sense that my writing is getting closer and closer to really matching my own taste? my favorites tend to always be my current projects as a result. and i do really love set those ghosts alight (HP) but it feels a little like cheating to say a fic i haven’t even finished writing yet. even though it’s def not cheating, that’s just the direction my brain is taking it.

i’m gonna say and then what? (OMGCP) because i’m super proud of the prose (especially ch 2 aka the first actual prose chapter), survived by (HP) for SUCCESSFULLY WRITING AN EMOTION and making readers cry :), and Q&A (AFTG) because i’m literally the one who wrote it and yet it still makes me wheeze. those are all fics i reread occasionally, because i’m big enough to admit i enjoy rereading my old stuff! (just like. to a point. some of my old stuff i can’t look at anymore because all the mistakes stick out to me like they have spotlights shining directly on them)

this was fun!! i’m gonna do an open tag because i just started my fall semester and brain tired. i know sometimes people see open tags and assume the op didn’t really mean it but I MEAN IT, PLEASE DO THIS AND TAG ME!!!!! YES YOU READING THIS

[thevividgreenmoss]

I'm in Pakistan right now...I haven't been anywhere further away than Toronto since like. The last time I was Here I guess lmao. I turned nine shortly before heading back to the US bawling the entire way home cause I missed everyone/thing already and perhaps also cause one of those little kid premonitions was telling me that I wasn't gonna come back for almost 18 years...everyone else in my family's been at least once since then but work or school or whatever always kept me from going until last year when my mom and I literally had a ticket for march 13 to go for a couple of weeks which was like the exact week shit really sunk in re: covid and obviously that put an end to that lmao and now a year later I'm here totally out of the blue because of my grandpa's health issues and my aunt being overwhelmed with caring for him and hospital visits and everything else like less than ideal circumstances and I feel like crying constantly like I was overjoyed to see him again but my heart is breaking at the pain he's in from his surgery and I'm terrified of what the results of the one remaining major biopsy that supposedly are gonna be ready next week might be...he gave me shit for gaining weight like immediately lmfao but when he visited a few years back he gave me shit for being too skinny so it evens out I guess? Idk lmao I was looking through his library and it's odd and nice and sad seeing the overlaps with mine some right down to the same exact edition and cover and everything like we have the same version of Kafka's collected shorts and John Cheever's too. He's been living with my aunt's family for the past several years in a town on the outskirts of Islamabad that I've never been to and his old house in Lahore that I spent the first few years of my life in before we moved to the US to join my dad who'd returned to Texas shortly before I was born is gone or sold not gone but idk it makes this trip feel even more like one to a place I've never been before although that would've inevitably have been the case no matter the particular circumstances I suppose. One of those cliched dogs vs cats things people bandy about is that dogs get attached to people while cats get attached to places but it's not true at all like cats absolutely connect, to both people (and other animals, plants, etc) and places (and dogs are probably just relatively directionally challenged which like whom amongst us, they're gifted in other ways) and those don't constitute two separate connections but inseparably interwoven aspects of a whole like I don't dare presume to know the inner workings of any cat's mind but like I've seen the way even the most curmudgeonly cat acts when the people it's used to having around are gone for a long time or when they return and to me it seems indistinguishable from longing and despondency provoked by the absence of a presence that matters to you / giddy playful excitement at the return of the one(s) you've been missing like cats miss people when they're away, even when the cats themselves have been in the exact same place with their feeding routines etc unbroken they miss people when they're gone and are relieved and excited in their own way when the people they were missing return. I have a reflexive irreverence if not outright antagonism towards patriotisms of any kind but I've still always fallen head over heels for Places in the way I think most people must not because of any fetishisation of nation or family or ethnicity or anything like that but because of the people, and cats and dogs and birds and trees and the rhythms and routines and sounds and smells and and accumulated sensual experiences and recollections that continually breathe life and death and renewal into any given spot on the earth and turn it into a Place with which you're connected in a process similar to and bound together with the process that can turn random people that you happen to have found yourself sharing a place with into someone you love. I really don't want my grandpa to die. Obviously. And I don't want him to be in any more pain and I

keep feeling overwhelmed by this useless regret at how little time we ever really got to spend together like who the fuck knows what'll happen like he's almost 90 and could live for a other twenty years like who knows but whatever the timeline is we all have to go at some point but it all feels even more unbearable when distance and time apart have shaped your lives together to such an inordinate degree like when you're separated by an ocean and thousands of miles most of your relationship is going to be comprised of just missing each other and even so I know I can't even fathom how much I'll miss him when he actually is gone, let alone how much my mom or any of the other five kids he raised by himself will miss him. And since I was barely more than a toddler I've carried this stupid inconsolable sense of first page of to the lighthouse-ass loss with me over seemingly everything, and it's always looming threatening to corrode your ability to live and experience the precious, rudely finite moments you have before any impending or imagined actual loss has even taken place. Before I even left I began feeling homesick for fucking Dallas which I fucking hate and have desperately wanted to leave for good for years but despite that I feel sad and lost and displaced I miss the neighborhood creek I take walks around and the ducks in the creek and meeting the weed man and hearing new pieces of his elaborate spiritual/conspiratorial/[uncategorizable] theories and the wildflowers that had just started to really bloom everywhere (s/o Lady Bird Johnson iG), my friend's new puppy that's only eight weeks old and will have grown so much by the time I see her again even though it's only a month but they grow so quickly at this age and I feel myself wanting to be back in Dallas just to be able to be near any of it again but at the same time I don't want to be away from where I am right now and already dread the departure that will inevitably, no matter the particulars, be processed, the way everything is, as the traumatic and irreplaceable loss of something precious beyond comprehension

[yyxgin]

a lot has happened at work recently!! but who cares bleh. libra season!!! which means bday celebrations!! except i’m at work BOO 👎 and my two assistant managers have officially left (i’m helping them move on wednesday) and they were probably the only two who knew when my bday was apart from my supervisor but he’s gone to a different branch to train to be an assistant manager before coming back so i’m super bummed bc now i have to deal w al the new staff by myself 😭

also one of the ladies in kp read my palms?? and she told me i spend too much money impulsively which isn’t false… but i have to spend money impulsively or if spend none at all (which is good for saving ig) but i’d also be doing nothing other than working and that would make me sad lol. she also told me bc i’m a libra this month i’ll be unlucky with love but lucky with money so 🥺🙏🙏 i was having a relatively bad day that day so she was cheering me up n all of that.

did i tell you when my txt and skz albums came, they also came like a week or two later (again) bc they’d accidentally doubled up my order? it was like heaven with skz bc changbin baby is my ult n he was in some of the pulls for the second album 🥵🥵 the limited edition of no easy confuses me bc it’s not like the last one of theirs i bought and typically groups stick to a style when they design albums like mamamoo are all in these cute magnetic flip box thingies and nct’s are all little books type things as well as txt’s but skz switched it up and there’s a fair bit of loose stuff? but it’s okay bc i have two posters n all of the mini flip card things for the members and some bangchan (i’m gifted in pulling chan).

im also hopefully getting a car?? the barman hasn’t gone to prison yet bc the court keep moving his sentencing date(s?) so when i discussed this w my mum she said they’ll probably throw it out and relief filled me!! but ik i shouldn’t be so hopeful but at the same time it’s like why would you mess someone around so much? anyway i’ll move on, i wanted to drop him home in my car bc he deserves a lift everyday what a sweetheart❣️ my co-worker facetimed me today as it was my day off and i said hi to everyone it was so heartwarming to see everyone missing me but also not bc my manager overworks me and he knows that after this weekend 💉🩸

im jumping about with my points and things i want to say but i’m horrible at internet friends so this is okay for me as recently i’ve just not had energy for any friends which is awful of me but i’m still trying to find the balance between work and social. also everyone’s gone to uni and i’m just chilling. i like my life.

i want to redecorate my room. i don’t like the vibe other than when people compliment my kpop wall bc it’s a bunch of my art and then other peoples art and i thoroughly enjoy decorating w pictures and stickers and stuff but it’s literally just a door and it’s depresses me that my happiness is reduced to the back of a singular door now. i want to redo the vibe in my room and make it more me. i’ve never felt comfortable until recently and even now i’m going back to feeling uncomfy now that i know i want it a certain way and to give a certain vibe. idk, maybe it’s bc i watched sex education and seeing lily’s room in the most recent season (i won’t say much more in case you are watching/haven’t seen it yet) really made me realise i want to love myself and love the space i create for myself more. do you enjoy your space you’ve created for yourself? i always feel like peoples rooms say a lot about them as a person but how they see their room in their own eyes always says more.

i want to ask loads of questions and am awful at asking them so please just tell me everything i missed or should be updated on!! ily, always

~ 🌻

LIBRA SEASON !!! omg did i ask you when's your bday ?? i hope i didn't miss it. >:( happy birthday !!!! you deserve so much love. also, i'm sorry about your managers leaving. dealing with new staff is hella stressful and i hope you don't have to have too much responsibility and nerves <3

ooh palm readings are hella interesting. i've never had one but i think i'd like to try. spending money impulsively isn't a bad thing, if it's not an irresponsible spending. and if it is,, well who cares. yolo. i feel you on that tho, bc even tho i am really stingy w money, sometimes i just buy stuff i don't need and act on impulse.

OMG THAT IS A DREAM ?? getting free albums ?? (at least i hope they were free lmao). i like it when groups stick to one type of packaging although i must say i dont like the book thingies nct uses bc there is no magnetic part so it falls apart on my shelf and i hate that. i acutally like the sleeve packaging txt's albums have ?? everyone seems to bitch abt it on tiktok but i find it the most conveniet. also i'm glad changbin came home to you <3

YAAAY TO THE CAR !! AND ALSO TO YOUR COWORKER. i am praying he won't have to go, then, i am really hopeful. he is a sweet soul and doesn't deserve that. pleeease don't put up with your boss overworking you. take care of yourself :(

YOURE NOT HORRIBLE AT INTERNET FRIENDS we are besties. okay ??? and its totally okay to have no energy for friends as well, bc as you can see, i am struggling as well recently. it took me so long to reply to this ask and i feel so bad but it is what it is :// social battery has been low and i am busy with studying and work and trying to put my shit together. i am rooting for you !! <3

go for the decorating !! i actually haven't watched sex education and am not planning on watching so i dont really understand what you mean, but i hope you get to create a space for yourself when you feel free and comfortable. i share a room with my brother so its kind of difficult to decorate it how i want it, but i honestly like sharing a room tbh. he's not here half the time anyway so it's good to see him at least when we go to sleep lmao. but i have a bunch of stuff in my corner that are kpop and my side is full of plants, so i feel good surrounded by them hihi. i like it here.

i don't have many updates. i am actually living a very boring life, so i have nothing to share. preparing for graduation exams has been making me anxious and also depressed with everything that's been going on lately, but it's okay. i'll pull myself together <3 i love you a lot, take care !! i missed you

[amazingorangedangantrash]

I'm a bit late to the party, but yesterday was August 15th! The infamous date in the kagerou daze song. (I don't know a lot about the project, but I used to be OBSESSED with that song, more specifically, jubyphonic's cover of it ah- I actually found out about it through a USUK version hshsbsshsh-).

Ok ok i hear you- "shut up what does this have to do with danganronpa?" WELL- imagine a kagerou days AU!!! (I know I'm not original ok- don't be mean ;-;). I don't know for which ship yet. Probably Komaegi tbh since it's my favourite ahhh.

Honestly considering how self-sacrificing the both of them are I think it's perfect. Komaeda has always said he has no problems being killed for the sake of "hope" (aka Naegi-), and would gladly thrust himself into harm's way in order to protect him, no matter how many times (also that scene with the falling beam implaing the girl... sdr2 gungnir flashbacks-)

On the other hand, Makoto would just as determinedly give up his life for Nagito, being self-sacrificing himself. Whilst he isn't the kind of person to resort to "welp guess there's no choice gotta die oop-" straight away in the continuous situations they find themselves in where he'd have to make an instant choice, he'd choose to save Nagito. You'd wonder why he wouldn't tell him about what was happening straight away? Maybe because he knows Nagito would do something drastic if he found out- something Makoto would refuse to let happen.

I mean I can also see Makoto determinedly being the one to try again and again to find a solution to the other's death loop, instead of just giving in. But then again, so would Nagito, especially if it was someone as important to him as Makoto.

Hmmm. I know the whole 'suicide' thing is a lot more suited to Nagito's character, but I think that's why having Makoto be the one to (initially) be a part of the death loop would be so much more impactful- Nagito finding out that someone like Makoto, the symbol of hope who theoretically everyone would give up their life for, was purposefully sacrificng himself over and over and over again, for someone like him-?

It'd be devestating.

Also I guess aesthetically Makoto = the girl, and Nagito = the boy (i don't know their names ah sorry-) makes sense too. The girl wears black/has black hair (matching with Makoto's darker palette) and the boy has a lighter palette/hair (matching with Nagito's). This is a big stretch but i think their hair matches up a little too (I remember one scene where the girl was falling and her bangs reminded me of Makoto's *wheeze*). I know in the title card/thumbnail, the boy's hood flaps behind him and i thought that could kinda fit with Nagito's coat. Oh, also the girl is shorter too, so there's that ig.

Lyrically i cant say much because I'd only be going off jubyphonic's lyrics ahah- I do think the whole, "hey but I really hate the Summer time" would be jarring to hear from Makoto, someone who (well for me anyway) is so associated with light/sun. Although I tend to associate him more with Spring so idk. Idk i think it'd play well into the whole 'something ain't ok here chief' feel.

OH- on that line, imagine if the cat was replaced with a dog? Imagine the heartbreak Nagito would feel seeing Makoto chase after a dog into the street (reminder that his dog died when he was young by being hit by a truck (it's implied the reason for this was his luck, making it so it'd swerve and hit the dog insteard of him- another instance where he lost something close to him for the sake of his own life-)). That would seriously sting.

AH this was meant to be a short "what if" ahdjshshsh it ended up a bit longer then I intended oops (i cant help it iltsm). I need to honestly get into the kagerou project- always wanted to, had no idea where to start lmao. Ah, um- i hope if you're reading this you enjoy this little concept/au idea.

[nad-zeta]

Match up ~(˘▾˘~)

Hi I’d like an Ikevamp matchup! (This is my first time doing this but oof) i’m a shy(at first) brown(Filipino to be exact) girl that’s a lil on the chubby side, Virgo, messy short hair, 149 cm(short-), and an INFJ T and a Ravenclaw. I’ve also got really fat legs and as much as i like them some dont :”) i like to read books than listen to people read them aloud cuz I’m a visual learner. I like writing bc it helps me get all these ideas out of my head. But i’m really unorganized so i never really finished anything other than a few poems and one horror short story. I enjoy cracking a good joke for anyone to laugh at and am really affectionate with my loved ones. I draw sometimes too but they’re not that good :> so my hobbies are:writing(mainly), drawing. I love learning about new stuff that’s not really included in school bc it’s not one of my biggest priorities to me lmao. I also really like studying whilst listening to music. But unto my dislikes, i really dont like injustice for other people and have this belief in me(i belive everyone is equal). I hate loud noises (eg. rain, or a truck) it messes with me more than my hair lol. I don’t like people insulting me in a more meaningful sense, meaning im not hurt if anyone curses at me but if it’s a little more meaningful then that hits me hard. Most people think im insensitive but i get hurt too ya know. But i always welcome critique even if it doesnt seem so. I flirt sometimes with my friends cuz thats how much i love them ig. I can play the ukulele but im not too fond on playing instruments so i ight sing instead of both. Anyway, i hope that’s enough. Message me if it wasn’t and i’ll add more! Thanks!

 Hi hi, love! ❤🥰Thank you so much for the request! Ooooh your first match-up, how exciting! I hope I can live up to your expectations. 🦋🥰☀️Anyways sorry for the long wait and I truly hope you enjoy. Hope you have a super good day!❤🥰  @la-liar​

So I match you with…………… Mozart

So the first time the two of you interact, it was basically silence. Both of you cuties were too shy and reserved to speak to each other. That is basically how it was for the first few weeks of your stay at the mansion. 

You were rather shy, so you kept mostly to yourself spending all your time in the library, reading and writing. But that all changed one day when you discovered the music room. 

You had decided on a whim to explore the mansion a bit and stumbled upon a pristine music room. You made your way inside and smiled as you spotted a ukulele in the corner of the room. You simply couldn’t help yourself, as you picked up the instrument and started to play. Closing your eyes as you played, you started to sing along to the familiar tune.

At that moment, Mozart had walked past his beloved music room. He had stepped out for a moment, only to get himself a freshly brewed cup of hot chocolate before continuing to compose his newest piece. The second he heard the sound of an instrument coming from his beloved music room he sighed internally. He slammed open the door and froze in his tracts when he spotted you sitting on the floor in the corner of the room absorbed by the music you were producing. He had every intention of scolding you, but all that dissipated as the soft, soothing tones of your voice wash over him like a gentle ocean wave. He found himself calm and at peace for once in his life. 

Inspired by the tune you were singing, he sat down at the grand piano and started playing along. The second the first note of the piano echoed off the walls of the room you opened your eyes in shock, not realizing someone had come in midway through your song. You profusely apologized to the man and left before he could say anything.

For the rest of the day Mozart was stuck, he couldn’t get that song you were singing out of his head. He was starting to get frustrated as thoughts of you were plaguing his mind. That night he stormed up to your room, took you by the hand and guided you back to the music room where he handed you the ukulele, “Play.” His words were blunt and his violet eyes were sharp and determined. You stared up at the man in confusion as he sat down at the grand piano, waiting for you to start the song. You sighed sitting down next to him on the bench and softly started strumming the strings. Mozart couldn’t keep the faint smile from forming on his face at the sound of the perfect harmony and melody the two of you produced together. Since that night you were the only other person, other than Sebastian permitted to enter into the music room whenever you wanted.

Every day since, you would wander into the room as Mozart would play the soothing melodies. You loved to study while listening to music. So every day you would bring your books to the music room as Mozart played and just sit and read or write, as Mozart’s symphonies would echo in the background. Although the white-haired man would never admit it, he very much enjoyed your company. Unlike the rest of the residents, you were quiet and soft-spoken, and you didn’t irritate him like the rest of his housemates. 

Often during the afternoons, when Mozart would take a break from playing, he would walk over the corner of the room that you would occupy and just stare down at you. He would usually in his classical tsundere roundabout way, ask you if you wanted to grab lunch with him. You honestly had to smile at his clumsily blunt tone and the dust of pink that would grace his features.

The two of you would sit under the shade of a tree and chat for hours and hours about the most random of topics. You had quickly come to realize that the brutal way in which Mozart spoke, was just a front to cover up his true feelings. Thus you never minded the meaningless insults that he would occasionally throw your way. Cause they were just that meaningless. If anything, the way he would say them with that slight smile dancing across his lips, they were probably meant as his own type of endearments towards you.

Both of you cuties often get so absorbed in your daydreams that during your lunchtime picnic, that you can be found just staring into space. Mozart’s mind would be occupied with the latest songs that he would like to compose, and your mind would be drifting off, thinking about the latest topic that you have learned about or read. Its actually pretty hilarious, especially when the two of you are at the dinner table and Arthur is chatting away to the two of you, while both of you would be off in dreamland. It’s only when Arthur waves a hand in front of your eyes that both of you come back to reality. During these times, you and Mozart usually lock eyes and laugh, as it had become a somewhat, inside joke between the two of you.

You often flirted with the man, especially after the two of you had started to become friends. You loved the way his cheeks would get dusted in a light pink shade matching his eyes perfectly. And you can’t help but laugh whenever he stutters a little insult in response. Although don’t get me wrong, he is the only person who can give you small insult endearments. Anyone else who dare utter one bad thing about you, will face Mozart’s scorn. 

Like one time the two of you went to the bookshop to browse together, when some dodge man came up to you and started telling you that a woman shouldn’t be in a book shop and that the book you were holding was too advanced for you. Cue Mozart practically tearing apart the man with his sharp gaze. Mozart’s voice boomed in the bookshop like a crack of a whip, and by the time he was done giving the man a verbal smackdown, the dodgy fellow couldn’t leave the shop quick enough. 

Just then violet eyes met your dark brown ones, as Mozart gave you the most tender look and asked in a soft tone if you were okay. He could see the sadness in your eyes, and he knew even though you put up a tough front, you were also rather sensitive deep down. He gave you a tight hug and kissed your forehead as he told you not to ponder on the man’s hurtful words. “Mein Liebe, don’t let that man’s mindless babble bother you.” He then took you by the hand and lead you to a coffee shop where he bought the two of you some hot chocolate. And the two of you spent the rest of the afternoon chatting away.

It wasn’t clear exactly when you and Mozart transitioned from friendship into a relationship, but regardless you were the only person privileged enough to see this man’s soft side. And boy oh boy was his smile enough to make your heart melt. Mozart is actually a massive softie under his harsh words, and loves to shower you in affection. He knows you hate loud noises, so he is always sure to, take you the town route with the least amount of people and noises. And you best be sure he will be by your side to soothe you in a split second during any type of thunderstorms

He never knew just how much you hated loud noises like thunderstorms until one night. It was the dead of night, and the sky was littered with dark stormy clouds and flashes of lightning. You woke up abruptly to the loud rumble of thunder that followed a flash of light. You let out a loud squeak as you pulled your blanket over your head, in an attempt to block out the noise. By the second flash and roars of thunder, you were on your feet making your way to Mozart’s room. 

You gently pushed open the door, when yet another loud crack of thunder and lightning could be heard shaking the mansion’s walls. Mozart had no time to react, as all he heard was the patter of your bare feet on the wooden floor, and then the weight of a warm body diving onto his bed. He cracked open an eye and was shocked to see the expression of dread on your tear-stained face. He wasted no time at all in pulling you beneath the covers into his warm embrace and he pressed your face to his warm chest. He gently traced soothing circles on your back, while he tenderly sang you a soft lullaby to coax you into sleep. The noise of thunder and lightning faded into the background, as you focus on the feeling of Mozart’s fingertips dancing across your skin and his soft, soothing voice. 

Since then, at any sign of a storm, Mozart would be sure to drop everything and seek you out. He would usually wrap the two of you in a fluffy blankie, and he just holds you tight in his arms. Sometimes he would play the piano to soothe your anxiety, while other times he will just sing to you.

Mozart absolutely loves your sense of humour, and his stony features will always crack with a slither of a smile whenever you make a joke. Bonus points if you actually get him to laugh. He will legit huff out in laughter, while shyly hiding his face in the crook of your neck as you continue to crack hilarious jokes. Anyone privileged enough to see this rare scene unfolds is very lucky indeed, as Mozart’s smile and laughter is like the sun coming out after a very long stormy week. It is bright and filled with warmth, and reserved for your eyes only.

Even though you have a tendency to never really finish writing, Mozart will insist you show him any of the pieces that you do manage to complete. He loves the way your words flow on paper, and it down right inspires him to write a few songs to accompany your stories. He also beams with pride whenever you draw him a cute little scene on his sheet music. He will be sure to keep that page with your doodle safe for all eternity, cause he just loves them so much. 

The two of you cuties are the most affectionate couple around, behind closed doors of course as Mozart might just die from embarrassment if the two of you engage in any sort of PDA. He loves it when you sit beside him and rest your head on his shoulder as he plays you the newest ballad of his love. You are the love of his life, and he will spend every day of his existence loving you. He loves to give you cute little Eskimo and butterfly kisses whenever the two of you meet in the hallway.

You best be sure this man will spend every free moment he can get hugging and cuddling you. Often the two of you cuties will simply be spending a quiet afternoon in the music room together, nestled in each others arms while drinking a warm cup of hot chocolate, listening to the pitter patter of the rain outside. 

Other potential matches……………. Dazai

I hope you enjoyed this dear and I hope you have the best day. 🦋☀️❤

[buildarocketboys]

For the fandom thing, Robin hood bbc? And for the character one, guy of gisborne?

Ahhh Rouke I love you so much for this!

Robin Hood BBC:

Favorite character: Guy of Gisborne (who else? I blame Richard Armitage, Sarah Kennedy on radio 2 for planting the idea in my head, and my easily swayed 12 year old self. But also he's a good fucking character lol)

Least favourite character: uhhh as a *character* probably Robin. Literally such an arrogant piece of shit who rarely acknowledges his own privilege (when it comes to his gang and the fact that he's a noble and they're...not) or his own faults. And we're still meant to see him as the ultimate good guy/hero. Pass.

5 favourite ships:

- Guy/Marian (I want to be clear though, this is one of those ships where the character dynamic is absolutely fascinating and a joy to watch, but I honestly don't think it actually becoming canon would be a) a good story or b) good for either of them)

- Guy/Allan (just. I fucking love how Allan gives no shits and treats Guy like a normal fucking human. He calls him Giz! And that dream Guy has about both Marian AND Allan massaging his shoulders while sweet talking him...I'm just saying. Anyway as opposed to Guy/Marian I actually think these two are good for each other and I wish their dynamic had been explored more, especially when Guy joins the outlaws in s3 but it's not explored *at all*)

- Marian/friendship with any female character. Fucking seriously. Let her vibe with Djaq (although ig I hc Djaq as nb. Any non-male character then) and bitch about the boys. PLEASE. She needs it.)

- Marian/Allan friendship (I'm realising doing this that I care far more about the friendships in this show than the romantic relationships. But seriously, these two people are in exactly the same position in opposite sides ie spies for the various teams, and that's fascinating, especially as Allan still protects Marian/has her back after he's found out. They probably kind of mildly dislike each other at first but it's bc they see a lot of their worst selves in each other. But honestly together these two can rule the world with banter and pure deviousness)

- Much/literally anyone who respects and values him as a person I'm begging you pleassssee (seriously, he gets this for like half an episode with Eve, which is lovely, but then it's back to being the butt of the Gang's jokes and Robin's punching bag/servant/""best friend"". And when Much wants any kind of display of friendship and affection from Robin, Robin makes fun of it and acts like it's such a chore. Ugh.)

Character I find most attractive: Guy of Gisborne started off my lifelong Richard Armitage obsession so it can't be anyone else. That is a beautiful, beautiful man. Marian is also gorgeous.

Character I would marry: Djaq or Much

Character I would be best friends with: literally all of Team Castle - Guy bc he badly needs /someone/ to be his friend (although I doubt he'd let me), Allan bc he'd be hilarious, Marian bc we could bitch about everyone and just have some good times. Ultimately Allan is probably the kind of person I'd be most likely to befriend irl.

A random thought: @Robin King Richard sucks bro and when he dies Prince John is gonna be king anyway, monarchy as a concept sucks anyway, consider dismantling it instead of putting all your faith in things getting better when the king returns

An unpopular opinion: I actually don't hate s3 the way much of the fandom seems to? Yes it was a trainwreck (hello? Have you watched this show? The whole thing is a trainwreck) and I hate that Marian died but I do think it went some interesting places we hadn't been before, especially re Guy (who lbr is the character I care most about). Don't get me wrong, it didn't do it very well, but I rewatch it more than s1.

My canon OTP:....uhhhhhh....does Guy/Marian count?? They're not really an OTP anymore though (although they used to be when I was like. 13.) They just have a cool dynamic.

My non-canon OTP: Guy/Allan ig

Most badass character: Marian, 100%. Especially s1 Marian. Icon. Queen of guerrilla fighting and sassy comebacks and saying fuck you to men.

Most epic villain: I guess the Sheriff? Idk about epic but he is the epitome of cartoonishly evil, which is fun to watch. Love to hate him.

Pairing I am not a fan of: Robin/Marian 🤢🤢🤢 (not saying it's bad if you ship it lmao, Robin is kind of a dick but it's more I can't stand how unbearably cheesy it is)

Character I feel the writers screwed up: What character DIDN'T they screw up? But I feel like they screwed over Isabella the worst. They made her seem unreasonably evil when her anger was entirely 100% valid and fair.

Favourite friendship: None of the friendships I actually enjoy were written to their full potential. But I guess Guy and Allan?

Character I most identify with: Allan or Djaq

Character I wish I could be: wouldn't want to be in her situation but would love to be as badass as Maz

Guy of Gisborne:

How I feel about this character: my terrible overdramatic emo son. Wish he could have had a proper redemption arc without killing Marian.

Any/all people I ship romantically with this character: Marian and Allan. And I guess Meg for the brief moment in time where that was a thing.

My favourite non-romantic relationship for this character: I know we only get a hint of it (and she dies) but I love Guy's relationship with Ghislaine. I just feel like they had such a loving relationship and then it all went to hell :( I also kind of think both Guy/Marian and Guy/Allan might work better/be more interesting as friendships

My unpopular opinion about this character: tbh in this fandom even liking him is an unpopular opinion to a lot of people 😂 I think if you took away the sheriff, he'd treat Marian better than Robin treats her (I mean, in some ways he already does but also like...he burns her house down soooo)

One thing I wish had happened with this character in canon: oh boy so many things. But the two places my mind goes most often are 1. Escaping the castle (with Allan and/or Marian), probably after Treasure of the Nation (ie my favourite RH episode of all time) and either joining the gang (equal parts hilarious and angsty) or starting a life somewhere new, away from all this bullshit and 2. Just more gang shenanigans after he joins them in s3. We had some, which was great, but I would have love to see more, to see him grudgingly becoming the weird ex villain friend and then actually building relationships with some of the gang

Favourite friendship: Allan

My crossover ship: Guy + therapy (also I'm sure I've thought about this before but I really can't think of a good answer). Maybe Eleanor Shellstrop (as friends)? I feel like that would be a fun dynamic to explore.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

another prompt saga

April 8th: Talk about friendship. How important are friends to you? Do you find it hard to make and maintain friendships? Are your friends generally supportive? Is there anything about having friends that confuses you?

another big question for me to go on plenty of tangents lol

well i haven't often had friends Really, there's like, being amicable with classmates, being friends with people While We're At School Together, being friendly acquaintances lmfao, or like, the occasional "yeah ig we're sort of friends, not exactly very close tho" lol and then rarely where yeah i'd call someone a close friend, although naturally, it's not like i completely discount those other, less close relationships. and, even more so, not like overall i'm like "oh friendship? yeah that's pretty frivolous and unimportant and it's just something mildly entertaining vs the Real Shit & True Emotional Support & Love of your biological family and romantic soulmate" lol, Friends Are Important and it's entirely serious 2 me

also natch i Do find it hard to make and maintain friendships lol. goes back to like, preschool and being around a bunch of age peers regularly for the first time, where my "best friend" defaulted to this one person who sought out interacting with me when i was otherwise doing my own thing during preschool recess, and i was pretty enthused about getting invited to a bday party one kid invited a bunch of us to, because that was like, a Friend thing, and a fun social thing, and i was included.....that i Do remember just feeling like, socially, everyone else was playing a game i didn't know the rules to and so couldn't expect to participate and, furthermore, i ought to stay out of the way of whatever everyone else was doing, where i Did often choose to do stuff by myself, but it's like, you know, the way "autistic" is even used figuratively (which. i have a lot of disdain for) because it's like oh the defining thing really is that telltale "doesn't want to interact with other people or form relationships, probably because also they have no feelings / normal and intrinsic qualities of Humanity" but it's like, if you pay any attention or god forbid ask autistic people about their own experiences, sure everyone has their own varying social approach and anyone might not always be raring to be the center of the party or Not want to do their own thing, but it's not that oh all autistic people aren't interested in social connection, but that like even when you are a small child it's like, oh all these other kids are interacting in this way that isn't really my social style and that shuts me out, and/or attempting to interact with people results in this even subtle, quiet rejection / exclusion that can be picked up on. i wasn't making friends and was often keeping to myself / keeping my head down as it were, but it wasn't because i didn't want to have friends or socialize. my mom was insistent i was a Shy Child lmao and i'd always argue that i wasn't Really, without further explanation though lmao, but it's like, again that i felt that sort of emergent exclusion, and there wasn't any space to interact much on my terms at all, and like, yeah i often stayed quiet / didn't want to mingle with other kids / if i was in a Situation i wanted to know the How To of navigating it / what to expect

being friends with people at school was fine, except the drawbacks of stuff like "we're only interacting at school, rarely hanging out outside of that" & "someone in the same grade is in a diff class in elementary school so we just never see each other now" & "for some reason that 2nd grade teacher made a whole giant Example out of me and a friend, god forbid, not paying attention or whatever the fuck, so now i feel like we can't interact at all anymore" & "changing schools entirely between elementary / middle / college" & "not being in school" lmao similar to work friends too, we're At Work, might not see each other outside of that, might change jobs & stop seeing each other, & still overall rare, b/c the Preschool Experience never Really stopped imo, had different versions of it even into college and like, being at jobs with other adults lmao, socializing is still Like That, came up with the Je Ne Hate Quoi where like, people kind of just Know to exclude you / consider you an exception to whatever other social stuff is going on.

and then like, the difficulties even when socializing / interactions Are happening, where like, it's always funny like. i'm very Verbose / Chatty and very opinionated but like, this will surprise people, that i Talk actually and have a ton of takes, b/c i was keeping to myself / not sharing that with them and so it's like well, that must of course be the realest version of me, no way i was filtering myself, i just must have Not Wanted to talk, and/or had nothing to say & hence no thoughts or feelings i might wanna share lol, of course....and tbh like, it sure Can be true that i don't wanna talk lmao like. i wanna talk About Stuff that isn't really "personal" generally, which can be like, yeah i wanna talk about this book, or about birds, or about this trivia topic, or whatever, whereas idk so much how to do like small talk about your day or otherwise share Casual things about Yourself, like, idk, being aware my interests are things about Myself but also aware that it's Weird / wasn't the kind of stuff you were supposed to talk about, and i felt that things about my life were otherwise Not The Right Stuff, or too boring (never hanging out, not doing much except being at home reading / doing shit by myself or w/siblings) or too Unfun (able to pick up the sense that At Home Shittiness was a private matter lol......) and it'd be like, idk what to say, things about myself don't seem to fit..........but also it can be that i do not enjoy the Vibe of an interaction lmfaoooo like, i truly do not want to talk to you people. like that i can sometimes vibe with someone inebriated people better lmfao because then, idk, they have some sense of humor and can muster some enthusiasm for anything, but also i'm not really a fan of knowing that someone isn't sober lmfao like. ppl will be like "omg were you drunk" like no, that was just my personality, whereas i am not Heartened to know other ppl Will have to have been drunk to get on my level, for example, don't understand when people cannot muster being even a little silly. it's goofaround hours. but then you have like, being around a bunch of cishet people when they're drunk, and their humor is as nonexistent and boring as ever but they're even louder / more insistent about it, nightmare. and, yknow, just people talking and i'm like "i'm not interested in this at all, whether re: conversational Style or Subject, i would not want to participate" and times when it's like. i know if i was gonna chime in with what i Would say you would not be able to handle me here lmfaoooo so. i truly would prefer examining the wall and thinking about my own shit or texting with someone i do like talking with

but that yknow, in groups / conversations i would be at least someone interested in, i can still be like, idk, Hesitant To Talk b/c of all the instances you've been taught like oh you're socializing Wrong and everyone hated that, sorta like the post about making a comment about salsa that brings the gc to a halt and you're wondering how you fucked up and if salsa killed someone's parents and forgot or whatever, i've been Disheartened re: hanging out when it's like, well, nice to be included, but i'm a friendship third wheel here, not being included in the entire convo and nobody misses it, there's been instances where it's like, two people talking, i chime in, i am completely ignored multiple times, this is frustrating lmao. or there's been times i've tried to put myself out there in a way, like yeah sure i'll hang out with this group, but also i'm anxious and it's like, if people are doing homework i'm also bringing this thing i'm working on as this parallel task, only to find out down the line like people then regarded you as a joke or something b/c it was Rude or Wrong when you know, actually that was you reading some weird shit that didn't exist into the situation, and just like, idk it's wild how people will have like "graciously" declined to express something to your face, and you either can pick up on shit at the time but not be able to say anything which just reads to people like "oh they didn't notice this / that means you can push it a little further next time even" or like, figure out later that something that seemed positive or decent actually ft. people not liking you / not wanting to include you Yet Again, and as a bonus you're left with you know, having to always worry about if people Seemingly being amicable & accepting is actually them wishing you weren't there or solidifying some Interpretations of you that they're then gonna Talk About or Act On behind the scenes, like, beautiful thank you, always very touching, so glad you were so Considerate of someone's feelings and Nice about this where it just ends up being this whole letdown / feeling like even more of a rejection if there was this weird like stringing along lmao like. can allistic people be normal for five minutes

anyways and tied to that sort of, it's also like, simultaneously Cagey About Things and always worried about like, i could tell this person this thing and maybe it'd be Incorrect for the interaction and they won't care, whether because it's too mundane and boring a thing about you or because it's too #Real, i think i glimpsed something a month or so ago about like "do other autistic people have trouble where like, you can be friends with someone a long time but not get particular Close to them" or whatever lol, where like, well i have to hold everyone at arm's length and often Then Some because there's just matter of fact stuff about me that i nonetheless think i can't or shouldn't share, if i talked about something it might be out of the blue b/c i just was hardly confiding in people about it, or it's boring, or it's like, i don't actually feel like i'm close enough with this person that saying this isn't gonna be like "whoa overshare!! i just feel awkward & weird!" lmfao like. there were people i hung out with in person the year i lived out of my car and i did not mention this at all to them / kept it a secret b/c it's like, not out of like ohh this is a secret b/c No One Can Know, some people Could know lmao (shoutout to the person i Did confide in about these problems and who talked with me at what must've been like 3am in that timezone when i was like "well the rich people around here made sure to get cops to harass an unhoused person, e.g. me, would you believe it, it sucked" lmfao) it's that i knew idk, it would be pointless, they'd just feel weird about it and switch into that "for some reason, this is being Nice" where everyone will go into full Putting On A Front mode to be Polite like, that really sucks actually lmao could you Not. but it's like, idk, all this stuff where it's like "this thing about me / my life would be too Boring or too Awkward or Depressing or Etc Etc" turns out to be isolating / alienating b/c like, of course it would be. and idk nobody i ever made friends with in person i was Confiding in, not a ton of them re: me either, because you know. being cagey and wary, on top of like ohhh this person is Standoffish if they're hesitant to interact with people generally or do their own thing or i don't think they're socializing Right / have incorrectly inferred their feelings/motivations/intentions or whatever

and furthermore on that lmao it's also like, again, while i'm Verbose & Opinionated people will think i'm quiet & have no takes to provide because it's also like, even when it comes to stuff i sure feel i Could talk freely about, it's like, if i have a different opinion here will that just be a conversational Interruption ruining things for the real participants, probably nobody wants to hear me talk about this Subject, probably nobody wants to / would let me talk about it at much length without interrupting, even Online lmao i can be just going all out in terms of [how much i can talk about something] and while people can be Into that at that time it's like, people aren't into that beyond that one back and forth on one day, shoutout when people do enjoy the extensive discussing and/or have patience for it other times lol.

then supposing i Am talking to people lmao it's like, idk i'm an acquired taste or what have you, like, on top of the Talking A Ton it's like, the being opinionated and argumentative and sometimes pedantic or whatever on top of being irritable, could stand to be a bit more patient lmao, The Hater Friend to use the figure of speech lmao i have hardly been in a Group to be The [Any] Friend lol, also if my sense of humor doesn't fit it's like well how am i supposed to be silly, if being sometimes Enthused doesn't fit, again kinda an issue......have described myself as A Bit Much, humorously, but already not doing that as Much b/c it's like, i think i'm still too much like considering other people's opinions too "objective" here when like, first of all that's never accurate lmao, second of all i can easily forget that idk, i can at least in theory expect people to just regularly Like me and Enjoy interacting with me lol so. an acquired taste few can sample..........like hey even if other people don't vibe with me, it can just as much be the case that i'm not vibing with other people, don't worry lmao. and yknow, kinda parallel to Masking to seem acceptable in any casual social situation it's like, if i feel i'm suppressing my whole personality here / putting up a front / like i have to Get Through what should be a friendly interaction rather than be able to enjoy it myself, it's not exactly that rewarding. and plenty of times it's like, i like to be around people, but it can be strangers, i don't feel like "oh i wanna go out to eat / see a movie / go to this event, but if i can't get any friends to go, guess i can't!" like get out of the way i'm readily doing shit alone, it can even feel Better that way if otherwise it's like, now this occasion is about performing peak Agreeability for this other person/people, and like, not like i have ever been like "yes i have people i can readily ask to hang out and they'll be like Ya" anyways lol so. used to operating solo, where you can't be like "aha this is because this person has no Human Interest in Human Connection" when it's like. well it was never all up to me was it

well and so also it helped when i was 14 and able to be Online consistently, vs at home lmao. time for online friendship, which i don't think is like, oh that's not Real, like what sorry have you never known about people who have Remote friendships before, phones & letters & telegrams and also [nowadays when many ppl are Remote even if they usually lived near enough to hang out with] where it's like, you have this different format for socializing that can sure play out differently than Real Time, In Person interactions, and ever since i'll be posting mostly to myself lmfao but able to thusly talk about Interests and like, people will come along who want to talk more about it, then we do. i suppose also it can sure help that i'll draw (and Only draw, lol) for said interests, although tbh i think most of the time it's the extensive text posts that do it? really and great litmus test or whatever lmfao like, well already this person must not hate the verbosity. and then you can end up vibing with these people further, or not, but it's like, again, there's this chance for From The Start like, oh this person Likes that i have this niche interest, they like &/or don't mind talking A Lot about it lmao, vs in person introductions where that can sure happen but it's like, that's gonna be chance & spontaneous, whereas ppl might have the opportunity to Seek Out this interaction / content of yours......even online though, i'm still like, not as inclined to reach out or make the first interaction move or whatever lmao so. and then it's like, people make galaxy brain remarks like "ohh people who are very Online don't have friends, irl, they aren't Personable, irl," like yes congratulations i'm autistic and i don't have many In Person friends generally, sometimes maybe not any, don't really know where people think they'll land their argument here. like, follow it through, are you just calling people losers. is it "social media makes peopel Not social" like nobody is Doing Anything when they're online or everyone is embracing strangers and having heart to hearts every weekday morning with whoever is nearby if only they weren't on twitter? plus the fact that like, if i don't have access to people i interact with online, that doesn't like, force me to become neurotypical so that i then have a thriving in person social circle, it just means i'm more isolated? meanwhile, turns out it helps a lot if it's like, yeah i can Expect to interact with people

and then still like, all the time it might be like i still can feel Confused as it were about How To Talk To People lmfao like. there's not much "Just Be Yourself" when being yourself has meant filtering yourself, actually, and being v self conscious about trying (and often failing) to appeal to other people (which, then if you do succeed, it's like oops this person likes me but if i've been putting up a front the whole time, not super Validating) and not exactly a ton of practice getting to do Otherwise, and it can again be like. is this too boring to talk about, or just somewhat arbitrarily like "oh i'd better Not talk / say whatever" for no real reason lmfao, i Can just get like. Real Time Chatty as it were, but it's difficult actually lmfao like i need a lot of momentum, and it's easy for that to be Not the case.......and just like, again that it's easy to forget you don't have to be in "nobody wants to hear you talk" mode, or think like, okay, i can't just say anything, i have to say something Good, aka of interest or funny or whatever lmao but then it's like well i guess i Can just say anything. don't much know how to do that tho

(also, sidenote from "wtf is thinking being friends w/someone online is faker than when you're friends with someone sort of from being in the same building every weekday, what is the conclusion of 'what a loser geek whatever if you care about connecting Online who can't be popular Offline'" where it's always funny when someone is also like "wow even in person Fandom is, like social media, something that only people who suck at socializing Normally are into" lmfao like. not very relevant b/c nobody wants to really be in a broader fanbase rather than find particular kindred spirits through it, and who actually wants to go to comic con or whatever, sounds like a nightmare, but it's still such a faux analytical perspective lmfao like, again, first of all, what's the Conclusion to your argument here? and secondly honestly like. all versions of Small Talk are kinda gonna be bullshit, even amongst say, nt people, there's nothing Universal, and people can certainly be inconsiderate / preclude any genuine connection via what they might consider to be this neutral part of the ritual, and yknow, i find it kinda exhausting like it's peak Time To Mask and then i'm hardly in the mood to Really talk further, like yknow what. idk i'd be annoyed if someone demanded i Correctly Complete some sort of fandom reference by way of greeting, but i'm also annoyed when someone demands i Correctly Complete whatever maneuvers you're supposed to do with a rhetorical "how are you :)" lmfao like. you're a cringe nerd in the rigid social ritual of pleasantries fandom)

anyways and uhh yeah i also yknow, hashtag alana beck, it's like, glad to pretend Friendly Acquaintances makes sense, i guess it can, but it's great when it's like, oh i Don't have to only expect to be really peripheral in people's lives, or to only be friends with people i don't feel like i vibe with That much or also talk to that much about anything, when i can definitely feel like Yes this person is a Friend, no "are they actually closer to an acquaintance at this point" disclaimers needed, again, taking it back to the fact that friendship sure is Significant to me and when i have it that's v important thanks

so it's like uhhhh yeah difficult to make friends, don't have general appeal or whatever lol, ppl aren't on my wavelength or i'm not on theirs, hard to talk to people even though it's not because i don't/can't talk plenty lmfao.......and re: being Supportive it's like well, i don't really tell people In Person i'm autistic but naturally if you follow me Online here i am talking about it lol, and not like anyone who already knew me & was friends with me was like "oh nvm don't like interacting with you now" and i also gotta mention the like Handshake Lgbtq lifehack, where plenty of times it can be like, oh if we vibe on That wavelength it can be easier to befriend people, and/or that people will at least be more like, amicable / supportive based on Knowing you're handshake on that lol. b/c really it's like, i'd also like to just be allowed to talk and/or simply be around people even if we are not Personal Friends, aka that you can expect to be treated decently with some basic respect / consideration and like you're generally allowed to exist and be present and interact with people where you're not only guaranteed to Not be punished / excluded for it if someone's your individual friend and allows you to be here, so. once again it's like, can allistic ppl be normal for 5 min

[5sosbitchfest]

Alrighty, Nonsters.  We currently have 290 Asks in our box!  As much as we might try, I know there is NO WAY we’re going to be able to get through all of them.  Everything exploded this weekend when MessyGate went down!   I don’t want to ignore any asks just because I already answered a similar one.  So, I’ve tried to gather as many similar Asks as possible to let your your voices be heard.  Y’all are definitely NOT alone in your feelings.  Get ready for a lot of opinions on Messy’s Twitter Drama.  

Also, if you sent in an Ask and we haven’t answered it yet, please feel free to resubmit it!  I do try to scroll through all of them but it is a daunting task and personal stuff and work make it difficult for me to get through everything in a timely manner!

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Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I’m really disappointed in Luke and this band in general, the way they deal with things. “honest policy” with messy? So he knew all of this and it was okay? Or he confronted her on this and he is okay with what she has done? I’m not sure this whole thing would be a deal breaker for me, but it certainly would make me real mad at my SO and some whiny excuses wouldn’t be enough to make things alright. Radio silence would’ve been much better than that story he posted, made himself look like a fool.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: These girls will sooner or later become their downfall if their management or them does not realise they should rely on other things than bringing relationship up front to sell their music. I find it extremely bad that they are behaving as if nothing happened, I hope there will be changes once touring will be possible again and we won’t see these girls tagging along everywhere or being brought up in interviews all the time but somehow I’m not counting too much on that.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I wonder if Luke knows everything that Messy got exposed for or just the parts Messy wanted to show him. Bc Luke said in his Story that he wasn't online lately so maybe he wasn't on Twitter too and Messy just showed him the parts that make her look good and he still doesn't know that she spoke bad about Ashton or how she stalked the fans also after she knew that they didn't hack his email adress cause he wasn't on Twitter so he couldn't see the screenshots.🤷‍♀️

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I'm just waiting for the day one of them date someone who isn't a part of their circle. tired of them passing around the same toxic girls.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: These girls are just digging a whole for these guys and they want be able to get out of it soon

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: It was a chicken move for Sierra to do it as a reply and no one has talked on twitter that she deleted it because they probably think her deleting it is saying it wasn’t true

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Am I the only one who thinks that guys really only heavily interact with us when they want to promote something or say something about the music? I do understand they have lives so being on Twitter isn't number one priority and with all the drama that surrounds this fandom its very easy to not want to be online a lot, I just can't help but feel that way

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I'm talking about this messy situation (no pun intended) with my friend and she said to me that Messy should consider changing her career if she can't handle that not all people are going to like her. (that ofc doesn't include any form of harassment bc that's not cool)

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I really don't know how to feel about the Luke situation. At first I was upset and disappointed of Luke but now I almost pity him bc real or not either the management would want Luke to defend her or Messy. And I think Luke isn't the kind of person who would stand up against the management or Messy (even though it would probably be better for him if he would). And most people don't realise when they're in a toxic relationship so I can't really blame him. I just hope this ends asap.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I literally was so angry and frustrated with Luke and this whole situation yesterday that I couldn’t even look at him on my home screen, I had to change it. It’s really a disappointing thing to witness. Whether management put him up to this or he genuinely believes this toxicity is okay, I’m just very grumpy with him at the moment. He deserves better and WE (the fans) deserve better.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I think Luke really needs to be in a relationship with sb who either isn't famous and doesn't want to be or with someone who is famous bc they have a successful career too and who doesn't need Like to be famous.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I’ve only seen a few accounts on Twitter who are attacking Messy and Crusty to the core and exposing every bad thing they’ve done with receipts for the sossies defending them! I’m happy that karma is finally getting to those con artist who think they can get away with anything

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: that recent lierra picture is photoshoped lmao. if you look at Sierra's hand you can see color coming off from it and her arm looks hella weird.her forehead looks hella weird and look couldn't have taken the picture because I doubt that he could stretch his arm that far and make a perfect picture. also we haven't even seen Sierra's face so I still don't believe they're together

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: The Lemon pic was like a punch in the face (even though Petunia and Luke are looking cute there). But I've been asking myself lately if Luke has seen the whole drama going around on Twitter or just the posts Messy wanted him to know so the ones who make her look like the victim (and not the ones where she insulted Ashton or she made it clear that she stalked his fans). Cause Luke said he hasn't been online lately.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I mean we dont know how much of the story he truly is aware of and how much s changed to fit her narrative and get L to feel bad for her. Plus he was under pressure from management to do damage control and not standing up for his gf is a very bad look for outsiders who dont understand why she's at fault. It was a pretty neutral statement and he was obviously told to make the post so I dont blame him and just blame her more for putting him in the situation in the 1st place

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I wonder how much toxicity happens behind the scenes, we know S is very manipulative and L is very much a people pleaser so.. and with how much they have to sell their "love" and "happiness" in the relationship. Minipulation is a powerful thing and it could explain why hes out of touch with reality, especially lately since he's isolated with her and doesnt have the voices of the band to raise any concerns and he's been getting skinny again and seems very "meh" rather than happy, idk

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I feel so disconnected with this fandom rn. I feel like no one is streaming CALM and that makes me sad bc it's such an amazing album. The boys aren't even online anymore, everyone is mad at each other and now Luke comes up with this shit... tbh I wish I would wake up tomorrow and see him tweeting something like yeah I'm sorry about my ig story I still love y'all lmao

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Wait wait wait wait ive been gone from the fandom for a little while now and what the fuck is going on with Luke and S? What did S do that she made a fake ass apology for?? I’m so lost please help me! 😂

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I'm seeing a lot of my mutuals unstanning and I'm just so mad bc Sierra started this drama and got Luke into it and I'm sad that people are leaving bc of this, it's just too much toxicity and it shouldn't affect the band and their connection with the fans but with Luke saying this he makes it seem like he supports the ugly things she does

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I am a Luke stan and I've always loved him bc he has inspired me so much through the years but when he does this things it's like...damn. I feel like he's invalidating the fans' feelings by being like "if you don't like my girlfriend, ur fake" like he has never noticed me on Twitter or anything but my biggest fear is to be blocked by him or just ignored bc I don't like her (although I never expressed it publicly) n yeah anyways :// It feels weird

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Going back and re-reading the DM’s messy literally confirms that she accesses Luke’s account by saying “we couldn’t get in” or some shit like that

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I hate being a luke stan, sometimes it just seems like he doesn't care? he always puts these toxic gfs before the ones who adore him and pay his bills. might just move into Cashton's lane. unproblematic kings.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: He literally posted a picture of him cuddling her and petunia within the hour

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: The saddest part of this situation is it’s like a repeat of Arzaylea. Luke has no idea what a respectful, mature relationship is. We saw it with Arz and were seeing it again it’s just a little bit different. He stays being controlled and manipulated by toxic partners. I really think homeboy needs to be single for a WHILE and focus on himself. He needs to unlearn the things his past and current relationships have taught him about love because if I know anything, it’s that this ain’t real love.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Is it bad that I just want the larzaylea drama back?? Like everyone could at least agree on their feelings then...

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Just checked messy’s insta and of course, everyone that still supports her filled her tagged with just the single picture

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I feel like the reason Sierra is getting away with what she’s done is because she isn’t that known. Like yeah she’s associated with 5sos, but they’re also like not that big which is probably why it’s getting swept under the rug. I’ve only seen the 5SOS fandom calling her out for her actions. If this had happened with a well known celebrity, they probably would’ve been dragged and been trending on Twitter. I might be wrong but I feel like this is what’s happening which is just unfair.

[elinaline]

Silk Lace Velvet Plushes Sheets

Silk: do I like kpop ?

Oohhh dangerous question if I've ever seen one ! Short answer is yes, I enjoy Korean pop music, and there are some artists I closely follow. Long answer is that although I appreciate the work of some artists, I have pure undiluted hatred for the Korean entertainment industry for multiple reasons, including but not limited to its treatment of the artists with inhumane work schedules, abusive relationship with managers, total absence of private life, and the ever delightful slave contracts, the racism and colorism of it all, the actual contempt the big companies have for the fans with marketing lovable persona and aesthetics instead of you know, music. I also hate that as a fan you first see only the sparkle and the fun of it all and you generally need a big fucking shock to get out of it it's such an unhealthy relationship to an artist...

So uh. Yeah fun music, a lot of really cool genuinely talented people, horrible deadly industry that fucks with the head of everyone involved.

Lace: what's my favorites dress ?

I love the starry one ! Sadly it's in polyester and I'm allergic to that fabric so I can only wear it with something under, but I'm a sucker for starry patterns. I also really love the orange one I got for my cancelled gala, but I need to tailor it a bit for it to really suit me.

Velvet: who was my first crush ?

Like very first of my whole life ? Probably someone in elementary school ig, but emotions are a weird thing and mine are especially complicated to understand lmao. I'm not sure crush is actually a word that'll ever really work for me

Plush: how many stuffed animals do I still own ?

I currently have 6 ? 7 ? Stuffed animals with me and I intend to bring back uuuhhhh a good five more from my parents' lmao

Sheets: Sanrio or san-X ?

I don't think I even know San x ? But I'm not like. A huge fan of Sanrio either it's just marketable mascot characters...