#am I being a choice feminist by asking?

[mommyhorror]

Hmmmm maybe radblr isn’t a great spot to be for my mental health in case I’m actually ********……..

[marzipanandminutiae]

You literally saw something so harmless and had a radical feminist moment 🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪

Kind of ironic to be called a r*dfem- a group notorious for getting mad at women who don’t Do Womanhood exactly the way they prefer -for saying people should be less prescriptive about what others (especially women) do with their lives.

(i’m assuming this is about the “she should be at the club“ thing. Which I am now aware apparently started as a fandom meme, but that’s not how I first saw it. I first saw it as an entirely serious post about dragging off any woman who got married in her early 20s to the club. Not a woman who got married in her early 20s because she grew up in an oppressive environment. Not a woman who got married in her early 20s because she felt pressured to. Any and all women who got married at an age that this person arbitrarily deemed incorrect.)

(Which. Yeah. Gets me a bit steamed, and feels like women can’t fucking win no matter what we do)

[muttever]

i really fucking hate makeup culture, and whenever anyone talks about it everyone whines "but i LIIIIIIIIKE putting on makeup, it makes me feel good 🥺🥺🥺" as if that has ever been the issue.

but we cant have actual adult conversations about it because "doing it because you want to is absolutely fine, but no one should be FORCED to" apparently isnt enough to stop them from hijacking the conversation into "makeup is great and everything you do is Feminist Action, you good little feminist"

[feministdragon]

every once in a while a discussion flares up on tumblr:  separatism vs activism reading through the various arguments I find myself agreeing with both sides in a lot of places.   the activism side argues that without it, we wouldn’t have the right to vote, bank accounts, property ownership, financial independence, sexual harassment and abortion laws, a lot of practical structures that free women in concrete ways.  i completely agree with this. the separatism side argues that women need a space away from men to experience themselves as human beings, to experience freedom and to experience female solidarity, and to develop networks of mutual aid.  I also completely agree with this. and then everyone starts fighting, which i really don’t understand.   We need both!  Both is good!   There are more than enough women in the world to do all the projects!  We can have some women creating separatist spaces for women to take shelter in, and we can have some women banding together to create practical change that free women in the short term.   What is there to argue about? I mean, maybe the background of this is the whole lesbian vs straight women thing?   Which tbh i also don’t understand why we have to fight about this.  I’m a lesbian, and the majority of my friends and feminist collaborators are straight women.  just by looking at the women around me I’m very very aware of how being partnered with a woman saves me an incredible amount of bullshit in my life, and yet I’m equally aware of why women choose to be het-partnered. for example in our organization there’s one women whose job title includes the word ‘responsible’.  Her husband began a campaign to undermine her participation by telling her that because her job title said ‘responsible’ that when our organization ‘inevitably bankrupted’ she would be left holding the legal debt which then (his main point) would impact him.  So she was scared by him into wanting to leave her position, when we really don’t have anyone else who can fill that right now, and so it would have caused a huge strain on us, but also, she’s perfect for this position, it’s very good for her, and she likes the work.  We were able to show her that he was just fucking with her, that the legal responsiblity for the money actually lay with a different role in the org, but it was yet another example of how men could reach into our private business and stir us about, because of how women are so financialy and emotionaly bound up with their legal male partners. so, do I cut off my friendship with this woman just because her husband is a danger to us?  Obviously not, because her husband is even more of a danger to her, and I’m trying to support her until her children are old enough that she can safely choose to leave him.   Is it irritating that her husband can just reach through her and fuck with us like that?  Absolutely.  Am I angry that women are constantly misled into marriage and find out too late that they are trapped?  Of fucking course.   Do I then conclude that all straight women are bullshit?   Also of course not.   But am I going to be cautious about who joins the group in future, and only let in lesbians?   Also of course not.  Because every set of hands is valuable and necessary, and we do other things to protect ourselves (like not let any man have a position of power in the org).  so what I want to ask is,  what is the separatism/activism divide about? why are people making it a choice between the two things?  is the foundational problem just either-or thinking?    if you are separatist why do you side-eye male-involved women?   if you are a male-involved woman, why do you side-eye separatists?

(crossposted on the Cloven Hooves forum if you want to comment on it there)

[linkspooky]

Okay, so I received an ask in response to an MHA critical post I received last night that I originally responded to, but then decided to delete the ask and the original post because I didn't want to get into an argument.

However, I feel like I should address one of their complaints about a post I made last night. That I was being too dismissive on the cultural reasons for some of the writing choices Horikoshi made because I am obviously not a part of the culture that Horikoshi grew up in and is commenting on in his piece of work.

I tried not to dismiss the cultural reasons entirely in the post though, I just said I don't think you can entirely blame Hori's writing choices on them. My cited example was there are other shonen jump mangas that don't go out of their way to gruesomely kill their villains (which is what I'm taking fault with.) I understand that the death penalty is a common response to murder in japan, but within the realm of fiction of shonen manga doesn't have a trend of killing all their villains.

But yeah, that might have been a shallow argument.

So there are different lenses of fiction you can criticize Horikoshi's writing on, because every piece of fiction is in fact influenced by the culture it's in, as well as obviously the author's personal life and unconscious biases but that's not all. There's also genre to consider, and influences / inspiration the author might have taken from other works.

For example, there is also genre in particular MHA is written as a response / commentary to both western comics and classic shonen jump manga. Horikoshi said in an interview:

“Probably have to be Goku and Spiderman. To me, when mentioning heroes, these two are the ones that I think of. In Goku’s case, it’s the reassurance that everything is going to be fine he brings when arriving.” 

There are multiple critical analysis lenses that you can analyze a story from. If you're talking about MHA from a feminist lens then you're likely to stick to topics relevant to that, like say japanese feminist movements. If you're talking from the sociopolitical angle then it's relevant to discuss collectivism, and especially how it inspired the Todoroki Family. However, my intent wasn't to dismiss sociopolitical reasons as why Horikoshi chose to write the story this way, but to say it's not the only reason that informs Hori's storytelling choices. MHA isn't just one thing it's multiple thing, me deliberately choosing to talk about MHA as a response to both eastern shonen manga and western comics is a valid critical lens to apply to the manga. You can talk about both obviously, but that was a pretty short post. Perhaps I didn't word my post the best but please try to be understanding that I can't make a post covering all of my bases on leaks night.

For a manga where Horikoshi cited his concept of heroism comes from Goku and Spiderman, they both don't kill their villains, Goku specifically let Vegeta live so if those are his inspirations the choice to kill every villain is weird to say the least.

I can make the argument that MHA fails as any kind of meaningful commentary on comics in general because it doesn't seem to understand the comics it is taking inspiration from. The X-Men are the underdogs in their story, not members of the privileged class they are the outcasts. Batman doesn't kill people because he believes that most of his mentally ill victims turned villains deserve a second chance and he can't dictate who deserves recovery and who doesn't.

If anyone reading this post is curious, here are posts by @siflshonen that discuss both the manga influences and comic infleunces easter and western infleunces on MHA, and also the cultural ones. They are also really long posts because those topics require a great length to discuss critically. This one is about MHA's manga DNA in regards to Bakugo's character, and specifically references Yu-Gi-Oh and Kaiba's character as well as Jonouchi as response for Bakugo's development arc from bully to best friend. This one discusses more about the nuances of collectivism. This one is in reference to the Todoroki family, it discusses both collectivism / japanese family roles / honnae and tatamae concepts that the Todofam is critiqueig, and also how Enji is inspired by eastern ideas of heroes while All Might is inspired by western ones. (Therefore it's not a wrong critical lens to compare MHA to other shonen manga and western comics because that is literally what the manga is taking inspiration from and commenting on).

Here's a powerpoint presentation by @sans-san that discussed Hegemonic Masculinity in Tokyo Ghoul in terms of work culture and how the CCG is inspired by that, which I think also applies to Enji's character as well.

This post by @bnhaobservation spoke about how the Todorokis decision for not disavowing or abandoning Toya after he was sentenced to life in prison would still be a progressive ending to the TODOFAM arc, and while I still wouldn't have been satisfied by that ending I'd at least be able to accept it. That is however, not what we got, we got Toya dying a slow agonizing death while hooked up to life support. So we could have still gotten a slightly softer ending where Toya's at least allowed to live that would have still been in line with the values of the culture that produced MHA.

This post by @bnhaobservation also talks about how the Todofam plotline can still be seen as progressive in some ways in regards to his criticism of Enji's parenting, because of certain outdated attitudes of parenting that still exist about Enji pushing Shoto to his absolute limits.

However, I don't want to debate the person who sent the ask, I just wanted to clarify I'm not trying to make a reductive statement that sociopolitical circumstances have nothing to do with Hori's writing choices, but that you can also analyze it from a lens of genre, commentary on comics and shonen manga, and also the predecessors he's taking inspiration from. All of these things have an inspiration on Hori's storytelling choices.

Since I'd rather not debate, now that I've gotten clarifying things out of the way I'm actually going to use this post as a book reccommendation.

Here's Shigaraki with Underground, one of my favorite books. It is a non-fiction work from famed fiction author Haruki Murakami about the Saren Gas attacks.

On a clear spring day in 1995 five members of a religious cult unleashed poison gas in the Tokyo Subway system. In an attempt to discover why, Haruki Murakami talks to the people who lived through the catasrophe and lays bare the Japanese Psyche.

For those who are unaware the Saren Gas attacks were a terrorist attack where members of the Aum Shirikyo cult released saren gas in the public subway system. It is the biggest japanese terrorist attack in modern japanese history and at the time and even the modern day it was a great shock to them as a whole.

The book consists of several interviews with the victims of the attack, and they are incredibly harrowing to read I remember crying while reading this book multiple times. However, at the end of the book after giving considerable time to let the victims share their stories Haruki Murakami also devotes space in the book to interviewing former members of the Aum Shirikyo cult.

Haruki clarifies his intent in his decision to include testimonial from the cult in the afterword of the novel. "As I worked on this book I attended several of the trials of the defendants of the Tokyo Gas attack. I wanted to see and hear those people with my own eyes ad ears, in order to come to some understanding of who they were. I also wanted to know what they were thinking now. What I found there was a dismal, gloomy, hopeless scene. The court was like a room with no exit. There must have been a way out in the beginning, but now it had become a nightmarish chamber from which there was no escape. [...] To all of them I posed the same question, that is, whether they regretted having joined Aum. Almost everyone answered: "No, I have no regrets. I don't think those years are wasted" Why is that? THe answer is simple - because in Aum they found a purity of purpose theycould not find in ordinary society. Even if in the end it became something monstrous, the radiant, warm memory of the peace they originally found remains inside them and nothing else can replace it. [...] However, as I went through the process of interviewing these Aum members and former members, one thing I felt quite strongly was that it was't spite of being part of the elite that they went in that direction, but because they were a part of the elite. [...] However, we need tor ealize that most of the people who join cults are not abnormal; they're not disadvantaged; they're not eccentrics. They are people who live average lives (and nmaybe from the outside, more than average lives), who live in my neighborhood and yours.

Haruki interviews members of Aum Shirikiyo because he wants to make the point that the people in these cult aren't from a dangerous fringe element of japanese society, but rather they are normal people, some of them even highly educated. The capacity to commit those crimes exists in normal people, and also the capacity to fall victim to a cult.

The Ikuhara anime Mawaru Penguindrum is heavily inspired by both the Saren Gas attacks and the questions that Haruki Murakami asked in the Underground. Fully covered here in this article: Exploring Mawaru Penguindrum 2011 from a historical, cultural and literary perspective here.

Underground was Murakami’s attempt to interview survivors of the Sarin Subway Attack. Apart from learning the perspectives of ordinary citizens involved in that shocking incident, he also managed to interview several members of Aum Shinrikyo and tried to get their point of view on the matter. (In the Japanese edition of the book, the interview with the cult members were published in a separate book, titled The Place that was Promised.) It was an important piece of journalistic work that criticized the public’s attitude of questioning what happened, instead of asking the proper question of why it had happened. In the anime, viewers knew that an event took place in 1995 that affected all the characters, but what exactly was the event about? Why did the people do that? What social factors attributed to the occurrence of such event? These are the questions that Mawaru Penguindrum asked, and one that we were left to ponder on.

Ikuhara and Murakami both exist in the same culture as Horikoshi, Haruki is an incredibly prolific japanese author and he was born in 1945 but both of them are able to ask more meaningful questions about the society they live in then Horikoshi accomplishes with the league of villains and the todoroki family. Haruki Murakami emphasizes the humanity of the aum shirikyo members and that they are not lunatic fringe members, and Mawaru Penguindrum is about the extreme social pressures that people especially children can be a victim of.

Literature is influenced by the culture it takes place in, but it's also a response to that influence and the piece of art that Horikoshi wrote just isn't as thoughtful of a response than what was written by both Ikuhara and Murakami.

More book recommendations if you're interested. The Setting Sun, by Osamu Dazai. Pachinko by Min Jin Lee. How do you Live? by Genzaburo Yoshino. In the Miso Soup by Ryo Murakami. People who Eat Darkness by Richard Lloyd Perry. Night on the Galactic Railroad by Kenji Miyazawa (I'd argue this is an example of good collectivism). The Memory Police by Yuko Ogawa. Out by Natsuo Kirino. There was a couple more I wanted to include but they had cannibalism in them so I thought it better not to reccommend them.

[anonymous-dentist]

I’m actually really interested in how the qsmp fandom treats its female characters at large versus how the female characters’ fans treat their character of choice. Because there’s a general consensus to Not Be A Dick To Women, because women are awesome (source: I am one.) But then you get to the individual fandoms for each character and you see that either you really aren’t allowed to criticize those characters at all, or all you do is criticize.

(And keep in mind I love both these characters I’m going to talk about and I literally try and watch every stream they’re part of if I have the time.)

For the first category, let’s look at the fandom surrounding qJaiden:

She’s a silly bird girl! She loves Cucurucho, but not the Federation. She’s actively friends with the creatures that have tortured and manipulated and kidnapped her own friends, but that’s fine because she has trauma. She’s a bit of a hypocrite when it comes to keeping and telling secrets sometimes, but that’s fine because she’s just silly!

This is the general qJaiden fandom perspective. If you call her a hypocrite, you have people calling you misogynist. If you say she’s a bit Weird for being besties with the bear that tricked her into thinking her son was alive and forced her on a death march just to laugh in her face and show her that she’s dead, you’re called a misogynist.

You criticize her at all, or you point out her flaws, you’re labeled a misogynist. Because Jaiden is silly! She’s never done anything wrong, actually, you either just hate women or you don’t watch her pov because you clearly don’t understand her character, which is Just A Silly Woman. There’s no nuance to her character past that, and acknowledging the fact that she’s morally gray can be Bad for ‘outsiders’, or even ‘insiders’ if you’re loud enough about it.

On the flip side, let’s look at qBaghera’s fandom:

qBaghera is useless. She needs to stay in her lane. She needs to tell others her personal lore. She needs to give up on running for president. She needs to be president. She needs to hang out with Forever and Bad more. She needs to be more of a revolutionary. She needs to take a step back and stay in her lane.

This is the general qBaghera fandom. Deal. It’s gotten to the point where ccBaghera has asked that people stop criticizing her character because she plays her character very close to her own personality. It’s nonstop people telling her how to play her own character, but they all claim to be ‘fans’. Her character doesn’t have any agency of her own to them, so she’s criticized, or, when she’s hanging out with The Boys she’s criticized for hanging out with The Boys, or she’s not hanging out with The Boys enough. That’s the kicker: she felt the need to stop hanging out with the other two members of Dramatrio because people were demanding she hang out with The Boys while ignoring her own personal lore.

These two examples are very different, but they both show the misogyny hidden beneath a thin layer of on-the-surface feminism. Not being allowed to criticize a female character is Not feminist at all, and criticizing a female character too much is definitely Not feminist.

And the thing is? Neither fandom seems to acknowledge the fact that they’re being Weird about their favorite female characters. Neither are allowing their favs to have any agency: Jaiden is always ‘Silly’ and doesn’t get to have any consequences or criticism, and Baghera can’t do anything without being criticized. But if you say anything about either character in a remotely negative or criticizing way, the individual fandoms will hound you for “being misogynistic” or “favoring male ccs/characters” because the qsmp fandom Is Not A Dick To Women. Because the fandom at large loves its female characters and ccs, the smaller, individual fandoms can get away with some weird shit in the name of “feminism” covering up misogyny within.

[artyandink]

𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅-𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 | 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐲 | 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐫𝐛

A/N - If I do decide to write this, it’s going to be challenging since I do not use swear words in my writing (and Ben does) but hey, comment if you’re interested!

“I stood by you.” I whispered, looking at him in the green eyes I’d known for so long. They’d changed. Evolved, with how much we’d both been through. “I’ll always stand by you, but I’ve gotta do it on my own terms.” I ran a hand through my hair, hollowing my cheeks out as I swallowed dry. That hand then swept down my mouth and over my bottom lip before landing in my lap. “I ain’t happy with who I am, Ben. Who I became.”

“Shut it. There’s nothin’ wrong with you… nor me.” Ben growled, looking away and his tone rough, like it always was when he was this defensive. “We were doing our jobs. We were… are leading a team, just like the old days. Ain’t nothing wrong with that, is there? No, there isn’t, in case you were about to talk back. Damn modern days and all the useless, feminist crap it put in that pretty little head.”

“Our job was and is to serve and protect, I know that much.” I frowned, looking away for a hot second. “But we’ve destroyed ourselves for the sake of the job. You were betrayed by your team and everything went goddamn south. I was fine not being at the forefront of everything. I was happy not fighting Homelander. I had a life. But the moment, the moment I get a call from Butcher saying that you needed me, I came for you. I came for you! And we went down like the frickin’ Titanic. All that talk about saving me from mundane, unnecessary things like social interactions and a stable job… but what if I didn’t need saving?”

“Yes, you did!” He stood up, towering over me with his eyes looking like they had a forest fire going on in them. “I remember our days fightin’ Commies, and you’d take hits but you stood up and hit those bastards back until they couldn’t even walk. I remember when you’d kill first, ask questions later. That version of you is the one I need. To win my fight.”

“Is that why you need me?” I scoffed, rubbing my forehead. “For the fight and nothing else? I remember our days where we were friends. Even if we were sitting in silence, smokin’ blunts- we did it. We shared smiles on the battlefield. Where we’d crack open a whiskey bottle and criticise whatever we wanted to. We’ve changed!”

“For the better!”

“Is that what you believe?” I searched his face for one sign that he thought it was true. “That your revenge-driven craze was for the better? Against Mallory? Butcher, who got me to bust you out after tellin’ me that you were taken? We destroyed ourselves, Ben!”

“For the job!” He retorted, grabbing my chin roughly. “You’re supposed to support me, that’s what we’ve always done.” In retaliation, my eyes glowed red, sending a sharp pain through his head that forced him to let me go. I rubbed where he grabbed me with heavy breaths leaving my mouth, a small growl at the end of it. The audacity of this man.

“We didn’t destroy ourselves for the job. We destroyed ourselves because we could. I was happy without a fight, and now? You got me addicted to it.” I bit my lip, then took a deep breath. “And I want out.”

“You don’t get an out.”

“I ain’t givin’ you a choice.”

“If you walk out that door…” Ben got up close, his jaw set like stone and stature imposing, like it’d always been, “don’t you ever come back… you’re dead to me. You’re goddamn dead.”

“If that’s how it’s gonna go, fine.” I nodded, then swept my hand down my mouth, steeling my expression. I was losing my oldest friend. My co-leader. The man who told me it was always him and I, no matter what. This is how it ends. “I’m dead to you.”

“Leave.”

I dug my heel into the ground, turning on it and walking straight out. I walked and I didn’t look back, even if the urge clawed at my neck to do it. I never thought it’d come to this point, but I guess the good things don’t last forever, and I learnt it far too late. I’d have to fight the proper way, I’d have to fight smart, and not by Ben’s terms. Not like Soldier Boy. I’d have to take this on the right way.

I pulled out my phone, dialling a number and putting it to my ear as I walked into the open road, down the pavement and looking up at the clear blue sky, which I rather envied as my head was clouded with the thoughts of every passer-by and their dumbass decisions to buy a doughnut or go for a walk in the park. “It’s me. I’m in.”

LMK if you want this to become a series, guys!

Luv, Arty :)

[ninyard]

Hi nin!! I just wanna say that I love your stuff (you may or may not have noticed that I've liked nearly every single thing you've posted for like a week now lmao). I rlly loved your answer to an ask abt Kayleigh being Irish and how that fit into her creating exy, cos I am also Irish and I think abt it all! The! Time!!! There's not enough Irish fans in this fandom I stg, I need more discussion abt the similarities between exy and hurling/camogie. My personal hc is that Kayleigh was a true Feminist Icon ™ who hated the way hurling and camogie are so divided by gender, and who saw exy as a means to change that. I'm also constantly wondering if Nora was aware of the parallels between exy and hurling when she wrote the books, I don't keep up with her blog so I've no idea if she's ever spoken on it but like there's no way that can all be a coincidence right??? But also I've never heard of her mentioning it so idkkk. Anyways this is really long so just to finish it off I love your twitter AUs, your character analyses are always so strong and well thought through, and scrolling through your blog is one of my new favourite hobbies!! Love ya <3

I would be so curious if Nora knew about hurling when she came up with Exy. Like was it a conscious choice to make Kayleigh Irish because of hurling??

I haven’t stopped thinking about Neil/Kevin doing this since I made that post with all the hurling gifs.

Like that’s such a neil move are you kidding me

And I also love that idea of Kayleigh hating hurling vs camogie because she’s so real for that. As a kid I always felt like camogie is like the pink washed version of hurling, diluted for girls who can’t handle the big boy sport

[pillarsalt]

its weird being in feminist spaces online bc on the one hand, we all understand that women have womens shelters because they actually worked towards gathering resources and opening these physical spaces. like they did actual work and didnt just wax poetic about the necessity. but then you have discourse about womens clothes and its like. you guys know there ARE brands out there creating functional clothing for the female form, right? and they end up shutting down due to lack of support? because we arent putting any action behind our words? and are just wishing good womens clothing into existence? like there are no mens shleters bc men didnt make shelters. there are no good female clothing brands because we 1) dont make them and if we do, 2) they dont get enough patronage to stay afloat. so yea guys, keep making tumblr posts about the lack of functional female clothing instead of seeking out and supporting those businesses. ill keep wearing my dads hand-me-downs because im economically and ecologically based.

Ooh anon we're playing with fire here... Alright everybody, feelings caps off and critical thinking caps on. This is in reference to a post I made a few nights ago about how I don't quite believe how many women claim they are incapable of wearing men's section clothes, a post which was itself in reference to another post that made the rounds on tumblr earlier this year. I wrote it after having had six beers and I'll be the first to admit, it was pretty inflammatory and worded in a way that lead a few people to reply defensively and angrily, so I turned off RBs and deleted it when I woke up the next day as damage control. The general gist of my post was that there are shitloads of options in the men's section that are far comfier with better quality materials than women's section clothes, that oversized clothes are easily adjusted for functionality ie. rolling up cuffs and wearing a belt, and that I think a lot of the women claiming they couldn't possibly wear men's section clothing are maybe just unwilling to "look bad," but again I wrote it in a way that obviously would not inspire good faith interaction with those whose choices I criticized. I'd like to take the opportunity to try again with this ask.

First of all, I also had a couple people say that they've had to wear the men's uniform at their job and it was ill-fitting and sucked. Of course I'm not arguing that women should not be accounted for in creating work equipment and PPE omfg, that's not what I'm talking about at all! That's a matter of safety and equality in employment, completely not what I'm saying. And I'm also not saying that women SHOULDN'T have clothes that are comfortable, functional, and properly fitting that are made with them in mind. We should be demanding this! What I am saying is that... we don't have that right now. Anon points out that there are businesses that have tried to do this and couldn't find enough patronage to stay afloat. Of course I want these clothing manufacturers to succeed, it would be the best case scenario, but in the mean time, we have two options: uncomfortable, flimsy, revealing, shit-ass-material that won't keep you warm women's clothes; and men's clothes that are possibly ill-fitting.

From the replies I did get, sounds like the biggest problem is with the hips to waist ratio, in men's pants the waist is too big when the hips fit. Yes, I get it! But I was also surprised to learn how many women are completely opposed to wearing belts?? I always thought belts were a wardrobe staple for most everyone, my Mom always wears one, I've been wearing one when necessary since middle school age. But happily for the non-belt-wearers, I've discovered that many men's pants actually have drawstrings, sometimes they're inside behind the buttons and zipper, so you can make them as tight or loose as you like. I have four pairs of pants like this, I wear them to work where I walk around and bring heavy things up and down stairs all day, they are sooo comfyyy.

The other thing is all my pants are from the men's now, and I have to tell you: sizing discrepancy is popularly framed solely as a women's clothing issue, but it's not really. Last week I bought two pairs of men's jeans from the thrift store, both size 34, without trying them on. One pair fits quite tightly around my thighs to the point that I will probably only wear them to events and not all day at work, while the other is the perfect size and so comfy I could sleep in them (don't worry, I won't.) It's trial and error all around when it comes to finding clothes that fit properly. There's not One Shape of men's pants. The changing room is your friend! Hang out in thrift stores long enough and you will absolutely find items that fit you wonderfully and feel comfortable.

So then we come to my main point: There are a lot of women who claim that men's clothes are just too big for them to wear and therefore they must resort to women's section clothes which supposedly fit them so much better... *FROM MY POINT OF VIEW* it seems a sort of convenient excuse to look the way a patriarchal society wants you to, in the same way that "sensory issues around body hair" is now a common stated reason to continue shaving and participating in sexist beauty culture without having to examine why you feel compelled to do so. I think when some women say they're unable to wear men's clothes, it's because they can't wear men's clothes and look as conventionally "good" as they do in women's clothes. And it's true, men's clothes are gonna be a bit looser and a bit more formless, but men aren't expected to be shrink-wrapped into their outfit like women are anyway. I understand the pressure to "look good," often women are treated poorly when they don't, but it's in your best interest and in the best interest of other women to resist that sexist pressure, or at least question it honestly.

Do I think you're a bad person for choosing to wear exclusively women's section clothes, absolutely not. I don't think women who shave or wear makeup or heels are bad people either. But I do think it's worth examining why you really feel like you couldn't branch out from the women's section.

Men's pants have a baggier crotch and ass area, but women's pants are often so tightly compact in the crotch that they can cause gynaecological problems. Men's shirt sleeves are quite roomy and may need rolling up, but many women's t-shirts have tiny sleeves that pinch your arms and draw your attention to the fact that your arm fat is being compressed. Men's pants can be quite long for a short woman, but cuffing them is simple: like anon said you can easily hem them, and if you don't sew like me, you can literally just cut them shorter and roll up the cuffs twice and KABOOM they become as short as you like. I want to reiterate that I do think women deserve to have clothes that are made with their comfort in mind, and I hope we do someday soon. But with the options we do have, there is a clear winner in terms of functionality, dignity, and quality. Men's clothes are made to be worn, women's clothes are made to adorn, decorate, be looked at.

Last point, when I hear someone say they're just too short or fat for men's section clothes... I can't believe them because I have seen A LOT of short and fat women wearing men's section clothes and doing just fine. You all have never met a short and/or fat butch lesbian? Ever? They look damn good in men's section clothing. I have a coworker who is 4'11" and shops 50/50 mens and womens clothes including pants. Like... I'm seeing short women wear mens clothes with slight alterations and zero problems. I really believe you can do it too. I believe!!!

In the end, I'm just a random tumblr blogger typing on my random tumblr blog, and you the reader have no obligation to take anything I say with more than a grain of salt. Try not to take this post personally, I'm not out to attack you. If your reasoning is simply "I don't want to," I can respect that and we don't have to agree. I think we can all agree the clothing situation for women generally sucks. If anyone including this Anon has recommendations for companies who make clothing that is legitimately created for women with women's bodies in mind, please let me know and I'll boost! Perhaps we can make a difference with our wallets.

[lorynna]

Before I started to get into feminism overall, which was in my late teens, I didn't think it was necessary in today's day and age - because that's what I've been told.

"Name one right men have that women don't!" was a statement I was often confronted with, mostly by men but that's already a misguided question that isn't aiming for a sincere discussion. - plus if you ask that question, you definitely missed a lot of what feminism is truly about.

And when we are being honest, a lot of things I can list now didn't come to my mind when I was trying to answer this question back then, because almost everything is so normalized it's hard to start to really dissect and learn to question already existing structures. (at least it was for me) But this does not mean that those things don't exist, just back then I didn't have the words for it and couldn't really express what my intuition was telling me.

Back to what I knew about feminism as a teenager: As stupid as it sounds: that it existed. I of course had heard the mainstream "feministic" opinions, that looking back i wouldn't consider feministic at all but very basic concepts without any depth to it.

If someone has asked me to describe what it meant back then, my answer would have been "to create equality between women and men".

So i wasn't interested in it, I frankly didn't even know there was more than one kind of feminism and so many subcategories too. Only later I discovered that what made me dislike and distance myself from "feministic statements" was that I didn't think there was a category of feminism that supported or even held my own values.

Whenever I encountered social media mainstream feminism I almost always disagreed with their liberal feminism or choice feminism category statements, so it made me think feminism overall was not for me.

And while I am still learning I can definitely say that it opened my eyes a lot and contributed positively to my personal growth. It helped me develop and define some of my already existing opinions, changed some or added new points of views to certain topics and if you're a woman and you're reading this - I can only recommend researching about the different kind of feminism and reading female literature about it.

The types of feminism that I can identify with the most are firstly radical feminism and also a bit of marxist feminism. I am certainly not perfect, still kind of new to it and don't act feministic in each category in my life. For example I do wear some make-up, I do shave and I do date a man. Some of my opinions are nuanced, I am still discovering things.

[chroniccoolness]

I find it interesting that a lot of gendered expectations are framed (at least in my experience) as just. "logical" or obvious. often you don't need to be directly and straightforwardly told that something is Wrong For Your Gender (though you absolutely can be ofc), it's just... the norm. Examples include:

1. I was allowed to wear leggings/pants from a young age. BUT,

1a) an Event meant a dress. There was a lot of jokes about how i hated dresses, but it was still unquestioned for the first 13 years of my life--piano recital, family reunion, wedding, theater? We go straight to the dress section. I was allowed to eventually wear a vest and pants to my middle school graduation, but i had to make a fuss abt it, because the assumption was "woman, formal space, dress".

1b) pants always came from the women's section. If I asked for men's, up until the last year, I got the response "those aren't right for your body". by "right" my mother meant that sure, they'd get on my body, but they wouldn't accentuate it properly at the hips or waist, and this makes them Wrong For Me.

2. Every woman I know in real life, bar two (one transfem, one nonbinary*), has hair shoulder length or longer. When I asked to cut my ribcage-length hair short, I got a "compromise" of shoulder length for 6 months. When I got to cut it *shorter*, my mom helped me make a pinterest board... with the keywords "short women's hair", "women's pixie cuts", and at most, "gender neutral hairstyles". When I said I wanted SHORT hair, the response from cis women I got was always "oh, like a cute pixie?" No, Sharon, like a dyke. And that's what I got called when I did it--specifically, a kid in the grade above me asked another kid if I was trying to be "a dyke or a tranny". All I did was cut my hair.

[*their words, to be clear! they identify as a nonbinary woman + i respect both aspects.]

3. Around age 11/12, my mom started asking me if I wanted her to teach me how to shave my legs. When i said no, I got an "Are you sure?" and once, "it's almost summer". This happened 3 times. She stopped after she realized the answer would say no, but always seemed bewildered, because shaving is just a Thing Women Do.

4. I have been told that if I have a baby, hormones will force me to love it, because that's just how it is. I wish I was kidding. Additionally, every time I bring up that I don't want to have kids, i get a horde of middle aged women telling me "I thought that when i was a young girl!". The gender role is "perceived woman? HAVE BABY" and if I voice a lack of desire for that, I am told I'm simply young, immature, and can't know myself. this continues even now that I am out as a trans guy.

these aren't me being directly forced not to do anything---instead, I'm free to do/not do the Thing, social stigma just attempts to tell me I'm wrong or strange for my choice. A lot of the people who've said/done these things identify as feminists--my mom and every woman who's done point 4 are. "default" gender expectations are everywhere and people have to actively think about and dismantle them.

[icanseethefuture333]

can you talk more about deity worship? esp with aphrodite !!!

Aphrodite

My experience with Aphrodite as my matron 🌷

As I previously mentioned before in this post, I first began doing witchcraft when I was 17 years old. I had a reading done about which deity wished to work with me and Aphrodite wanted me. I was hesitant because I was a tomboy + alternative in high school so I didn't feel like the Goddess of beauty and love was for me. I questioned her choice in choosing me even though I was seeing signs from her (white doves landed on my windowsill for a year straight). What I didn't realize was that Aphrodite was known more for her beauty and grace, she was also the goddess of war. Over the years Aphrodite has been nurturing, loving, and caring towards me. She has given me the strength and guidance when I needed it the most. Very much so like having a relationship with a mother.

My character development

Working with Aphrodite has given me a "inner glow up". Meaning - I reconstructed my view on what being feminine is, what kind of feminist I am, and acknowledging when I was misogynistic in the past. As well as helping me heal my mother wound and allowing me to be able to see things from her perspective when I was angry with her for her constant mistreatment towards me. I can for sure say thanks to Aphrodite, I am more patient, I am more wise, and I am learning to be soft. In a patriarchal society, being soft, sensitive, or gentle is looked down upon. Living in a society where you have to always be tough or "realistic" is so depressing. It's as if you're not allowed to have dreams, hopes, or desires. Independence is a wonderful thing, but you have to be able to depend on your loved ones at some point, because then you'd be just wearing yourself thin. Since beauty is a popular topic when it comes to Aphrodite, I also noticed a lot of physical changes in my appearance (clear skin, longer hair, fuller lashes, etc) 😳

Spellwork

As for doing spells with Aphrodite, the process is quite simple, I just ask for help and I feel the job gets done. I also give her offerings (she loves apples!!!) when I can and pray to her. From my personal experience, Aphrodite enjoys doing spells that involves quality time. For example, I often include Aphrodite when I do glamour magick or recite my affirmations. For example:

"Thank you, Aphrodite, for blessing me with the most beautiful, glowing clear skin."

I hope that answers your question 🌸🌊💖!

[longing-for-rain]

I know you said no bait asks, and I promise this isn't, I'm genuinely curious to hear an opinion from a Zutara shipper who seems pretty rational. (I am not a kataang fan either by the way so I'm not trying to argue that or anything.). Do you believe that Zutara is a feminist relationship in comparison to Kataang? And what are your reasons for being so strongly invested in Zutara?

Hi, thanks for the ask. I’ll do my best to explain my feelings on this, but to summarize, I think there are two questions here that aren’t inherently related: a) is Zutara feminist and b) why do I like it so much. I know this might surprise you, but even though Zutara is my OTP, I don’t consider it inherently feminist. Let me explain though because that doesn’t mean it’s a bad ship at all.

Obviously, I really like the characters together. However, I won’t go ahead and say it’s the “feminist” choice over kataang, because personally I think that discussing whether a female character has a feminist narrative should not center around which man she ends up with. The primary focus should be on her narrative independently. And if she doesn’t have an independent narrative, well…that’s not feminist at all.

But I’ll answer in more detail below because I think this is an interesting distinction.

a) Is Zutara feminist over Kataang?

Like I said above…no, not inherently. I think what this question is getting at is which relationship gives Katara as a character a feminist narrative, which is a tricky question. Only one of these ships is canon, so we only know how one relationship would have played out in the eyes of the creators. Everything else is up to the interpretation of fans.

First things first, I absolutely do not think kataang, as portrayed in canon, adds to Katara’s independent narrative as a character, and certainly doesn’t contribute to any potential feminist narrative of her character. There are many instances of Katara being damseled and/or generally reduced in complexity whenever she’s placed in a “romantic” situation involving Aang. Despite Katara also being a main character, the “crush” is portrayed entirely through Aang’s POV. And post canon, Katara ends up being relegated to the role of a healer who stays home at the South Pole (this is why I could never get invested in LoK). Which, if you paid attention to her character at all, was something she explicitly stated she didn’t want to be and fought to escape. Ending her story that way reversed any “feminist” narrative set up in ATLA. So no, this is not a narrative that centers Katara and her ambitions at all.

Now onto fanon content.

The beauty of fanon is that it’s completely up to interpretation. Fans can give the characters whichever narratives they want. This goes for both Zutara and kataang. Just because your ship is canon doesn’t mean you have to adhere to canon; many canon shippers write “fix it” type content or otherwise make changes to the canon relationship to make it more appealing to them. I’m sure there are kataang shippers who rewrite their canon relationship to give Katara a feminist narrative, but to be honest the ship just doesn’t appeal to me at all so I haven’t seen those, but I’m not saying they don’t exist.

Now, Zutara. Even though there are definitely some hints in the series, there was nothing explicitly romantic between these characters in canon. So, fans are free to interpret how a relationship between Zuko and Katara would play out, and therefore Katara’s narrative within that relationship. Some people do make a strong effort to give Katara a feminist story, and in my experience, this is often a direct response to canon. But on the other side of the coin, some people absolutely…do not. It’s a big ship with lots of content. Some of it gives Katara’s character a feminist narrative, some of it…does the exact opposite of that. I think anyone familiar with the ship is probably well aware of some of the unsavory tropes associated with it so I won’t get into that.

But anyways, for any ship, there is a variety of content featuring Katara. Sometimes she’s a great warrior, sometimes she plays an important political role, and sometimes she’s just treated like a slave. Sometimes she has her own wants and ambitions and sometimes her story revolves entirely around whichever male character the author is thirsty for. Sometimes she’s treated as a complex human being and sometimes she just exists to be a fetish. Which again, goes for literally any ship and character you can think of.

So when asking yourself if Katara is given a feminist narrative, asking which man she’s paired with is asking the wrong question. Instead the focus should be on Katara herself and what the message of the story says about her.

b) Why do you like Zutara?

Although you can probably tell from the above, I do consider myself a feminist and enjoy analyzing media from that perspective. But honestly, that has little to do with why I like this relationship so much.

Sorry if this answer is boring, but I just…like them. Everyone has different tastes. For me, I was immediately drawn to them watching the show as a kid, because I’m a sucker for that sort of hurt/comfort dynamic they had going on in books 2-3. Growing up and taking a closer look, I also found that I see Zuko and Katara as having a lot of similar values and personality traits that I feel would make them compatible in a relationship. Also, there’s the fact that I just really like Katara and Zuko as individual characters so I like the fact that Zutara allows me to explore both characters by themselves, as well as how they interact together.

But if I’m being real, the final Agni Kai scene is what sold me. The emotional intensity of that scene just had me hooked for life. It’s really not much deeper than that, but yes, I’m extremely obsessed and emotionally invested in this ship.

And yes, I do write a lot of Zutara fic and do my best to give Katara independent goals and ambitions and agency as a character. I do my best to write her in a way that portrays a feminist narrative because I personally find that important. But that’s something I could apply to any ship. I don’t think it’s inherently feminist to ship Zutara, because like I said earlier, it completely depends on the individual fans and how they interpret it. I like interpreting it in a way that gives Katara individual power and goals, but that’s just me. Not everyone writes Zutara the same way.

Hope that answers your question ❄️

[my-own-walker]

Jigsaw Falling Into Place

Anonymous asked: Can you do some smut ab evan himself?

note: i am getting back into writing more small stories because i don't wanna get bored of the series haha. trying something a lil different

summary: in 2011, indie musician/rockstar reader has had a thing going with evan peters for a while. neither of them can stop thinking about each other. it's high time they talked it out.

warnings: sm*t, being delulu with a celeb fantasy, f1ngering, p in v, rushed plot lol

+

I loved doing strange things in the name of art. Even if it meant stirring up a bit of controversy. I had my fair share of weird music videos and clothing choices that turned heads. It's what you need to do to get noticed.

My band and I received some negative press when I said some...choice words about men in an interview. Why people were shocked that the female lead singer in a band had strong feminist viewpoints was beyond me. In my time away from working, aka, hiding from the controversy, I spent time socializing.

Being in my early 20s, I felt my freedom was stifled by my schedule and record label obligations. Now that I was being forced to step away, I had time for a social life. I went to more parties and met cool people. One of which being this guy, Evan.

Although we never said it to each other, I think we both knew.

From the moment we locked eyes, I knew one thing; I wanted to know him. I'm not sure if it was him or I that moved toward the other first, but we met in the middle of the crowded room, like a fucking movie, and he said:

"You look...you look very nice. B-beautiful, I mean. Damn, why can't I speak?" He looked around bashfully, saying 'I hope no one heard that' with his eyes.

I returned the compliment with a lopsided grin and a simple, "I'm Y/N."

After a lengthy conversation off in a corner somewhere, I wrote my number down on the back of his hand and took off, fucking off back to my apartment to seem mysterious. I waited by my cellphone with bated breath, seeing if he'd follow the "three-day rule." He texted me within an hour of me leaving.

We saw each other regularly for weeks after, continuously finding reasons to hang out. I was a spellbound darling in the haze of a precious love story, fawning over a starry-eyed boy.

My desire to seem aloof and therein more appealing, though, made me act coy in his presence. I could see it in his eyes that he felt the same, but I wasn't about to make that my problem. My fear of rejection kept me from overstepping the line of friendship.

Another drunken night at a bar after seeing some indie band play left me with some bad press again. I got caught mouthing off to a photographer who was hounding me in the street. A classic story, right?

Due to that, though, I was seriously put in time-out by my label, them advising me to stay home for a while. To avoid nightlife, that is. Just until it all blew over. I sat bored in my apartment, trying to write songs when my cell phone buzzed.

E: hey!!! how are u?

you heard :/

E: yeah. bummer :^(

i'll be fine. more time to b productive!

E: what are u up to now?

about to make dinner :D

E: ooo whatcha makin?

salad!

E: make enough for 2?

I can ;)

E: what's ur address? i'm coming over

I threw my phone onto the couch and sprung into action. I had to make the space look as presentable as possible for his visit. We had known each other for about a month, but neither of us had been to each other's place.

It took him next to no time to arrive. The knock at the door announced his arrival. I physically dropped what I was doing to let him in, anxious to see him.

He stood outside my door, rosy cheeks and bleach-blonde hair making his appearance seem almost ethereal. His eyes sparkled when he saw me.

"Come in," I smiled, gesturing toward the open space of my living room.

"Wow, it's nice in here," he cooed. I parted from him to return to making dinner. I watched as he observed the space and meandered over to the sofa, flopping down a a large sigh.

"What's the matter?" I asked, laughing.

"It was an ordeal getting in, is all," he chuckled, leaning forward in his seat to peer in at me.

"Why? My doorman is rather nice..." I returned.

"No, I made sure I got in in a way that I couldn't be seen," he explained. "I know you probably don't want to get caught with a mysterious guy sneaking into your apartment,"

"And why's that, Evan?" I challenged, finishing up and heading into the living room to sit with him.

"Big news, and all," he said, bashfully. "All things considered."

"I'm not worried about it, honestly," I assured him, putting a hand on his arm. "I've found that once you've ruined your reputation, you can live quite freely."

He coughed lightly and pulled at the collar of his sweater before sitting back with his arms crossed, very obviously checking me out with a smirk on his face. I ran my hand through my hair and adjusted the way I was sitting. So many words to say, but neither of us had the courage to do so.

All at once, Evan's lips were on mine. At first, I tensed up and pulled back, then, I relaxed into it, putting a hand on his cheek. We kissed passionately, his arms eventually snaking around my waist and pulling me even closer.

"My god," he gasped, pulling away. "You're fun to kiss."

I could only reply with a bashful laugh, my cheeks burning red.

"I've been wanting to do that for a while," he exhaled.

"I've been wanting you to do that for a while," I returned, resting my hand on his chest. He looked down at the touch and back up at me with a glint in his gaze. The moment lingered, and I was spellbound in the light of his undivided attention.

"I never pictured myself getting this far. I don't know what I'm doing, quite frankly," he admitted, his brows turned up in disbelief.

I leaned forward and brushed my lips against his, pausing for a moment before giving in to the need to kiss him again. We pressed our foreheads together in the tightest embrace, this being the result of weeks of restraint.

Although we never said it to each other, I think we both knew.

His left hand threaded in my hair, his right still firmly wrapped around me, I was lit on fire. The all-consuming moment made it hard to breathe. I wanted him all at once. I wanted his very essence to touch every part of me. Every cell and fiber and bone in my being.

It mattered not what was going on in the world. The problems and the hurt and the unrest. At that moment, it wasn't our fight. Not our war. No longer a worry.

Evan was the only thing that mattered. Him.

"I need you," I murmured against his lips, grabbing the fabric of his shirt in my hands and pulling him on top of me.

It was like diving into the ocean, too swept up in the current to realize I was drowning in him. His hands were all over me. Pulling at my clothes and feeling at the glimpses of bare skin underneath.

I wanted all of it.

Just as I tugged his sweater over his head. Just as he pulled at my t-shirt. Just as I undid his belt. Just as he slid my skirt down over my knees. Just as he threw his own jeans across the room. A warmth spilled into my chest and spread outward. His presence soaked through my skin.

His lips ran up my neck and stopped next to my ear. "Okay?" he whispered.

"Yes," I breathed.

He spread my legs apart softly before lining himself up with my entrance. I moaned in his mouth when he penetrated me. He kissed me until all I could breathe was him. I ran my hands up his naked back as he found his rhythm.

I lost track of time. I was intoxicated by the heat of the moment, the warmth of his body, the waves of intense pleasure. There was something there that was real and raw and rare. We fit together like a jigsaw falling into place.

Before long, I found myself ready to succumb to the waves of pleasure. Evan must have seen it, because he paused for a moment, to say: "Not yet, beautiful." He pulled out of me and kissed me all over my body, tauntingly slow.

Then, he slid his fingers into me, setting a lazy rhythm that made my back arch and my toes curl. I existed at his very will. And all at once, after clinging desperately, I let go with a light moan. The pressure boiled over. Shudders shook me as I rested my forehead on his.

Evan's hands tightened on my waist. "Alright?" he asked, making sure he had permission to enter me again. I nodded.

He slid in. My arms were wrapped around his shoulders, my uneven breaths fanning his throat. He came with a masculine groan. The moment soaked through my skin. I could have lived in it forever.

We lay together in momentary bliss, I stroking his sweaty hair, him tracing shapes onto my arm with his finger.

"I love you," he whispered, before pausing entirely and saying a bit louder, "god, I mean, I love, holding...you."

I chuckled softly and guided his chin up to kiss me again. "You do?" I asked, curiosity getting the better of me.

"I didn't mean to say that but yeah, I think I love you," he replied bashfully.

"Well, I think I love you, too, Evan," I smiled. He hugged me tighter, inhaling deeply in the crook of my neck. "God, I forgot all about dinner," I spoke after a beat. "Are you hungry?"

"No, not for salad," he laughed. "If I'm being honest, I don’t even like it. I just lied to get to your apartment."

+

DID MY BEST TO "TEXT" LIKE IT WAS 2011 FORGIVE ME!!! CRINGE!!! This was a fun one to write hope u like it and pls lmk if you do!!! (but not if you don't)

[toutvatoujoursbien]

As an elder Millennial myself, I think the important lesson to take away from this is that there's no such thing as a feminist prince. A lot of fans projected Colin's qualities onto Luke to an inaccurate degree. He had a job to do on the press tour and all he had to do was try to match Nic's energy. I don't think he's as bad of a person as everyone's making him out to be, but I do think he has some serious blinders on and he's bonded with some people who ultimately aren't good for him. It's sad to see how something that could've been a huge launching pad ended up being a diving board that broke under him. (I also think the fandom is mad hypocritical and if they got even so much as a whiff of him being single, they'd change their tune really quickly and it'd be the Luke Love Train all over again.)

(My first ask! I feel like I've had a Tumblr rite of passage.)

Anon, you brought up a good point that I haven't covered. I do, personally, believe that a lot of the confused feelings and outrage over Luke and his actions stems from fan projection that got out of hand - not just with Luke/Colin, but also with Nicola/Penelope. To me, Luke's portrayal of Colin has been excellent - I think his version of Colin is both charming and easily excitable about gossip and niche subjects (I'll never get over the olive joke). He's also totally made for the female gaze, and even moreso because he just so happens to fall in love with his best friend, the perpetually overlooked and looked down upon wallflower Pen. He sees what's special about her and falls in love with her - which I think allowed the audience to wonder "If someone like Colin can love Pen, then perhaps I could have something similar." (That is a very, very basic, surface-level interpretation that I'm throwing out here.) Also, I think the constant reminders that Luke was the most like his character in Bton, as well as his behaviors during the press tour, meant that when the PR Stunt happened, it caused so many to go, "What the fuck?"

As for Nicola, just using myself as an example - and bear in mind that I am a cishet, female, elder Millenial - I connected with her as an actress first and then Pen second. I didn't "find my successful career path" until I was 31 myself - so I feel like I understand how much it means to her that she's really taking her rightful place in the spotlight now. I have so much to be thankful for where I am in life right now, but I also know I had to work my ass off for it and there was no safety net for me to fall back on. So to know how hard she's worked and how far she's come, I'm going be honest and potentially open myself up to criticism - I was honestly offended for her when everything kind of blew up in the fandom. Did she need me to be offended on her behalf? Of course not, but I needed the time and capacity to process what I was feeling and come to a better headspace. Even though I do ship Lukola, most of my bitter feelings at the time were around: I can't believe anyone would want to take away from all the work N has done over the past 6 months (and 2 years, if we're being honest, in regards to S3) by taking away from the premiere and making it about an alleged gf.

That was a very long-winded way of saying yes, I agree that some parasocial boundaries were blurred - most likely because of the absolutely crazy amount of content we were fed during the press tour - and projections, for lots of various reasons, occurred, so when the aforementioned crash in expectations happened (whether or not it's right or fair), it was a Big Hurt for many fans.

I think a lot of fans don't believe him to be a bad guy, just making some bad choices right now??? And even though intellectually, people understand that it's his life and therefore his choices, it's still be difficult to watch. I think I can also firmly say that many of us feel like a change to his friend group would be a smart move in the path forward - but again, our wants and wishes mean very little in reality.

It's sad to see how something that could've been a huge launching pad ended up being a diving board that broke under him.

When I tell you I physically winced while reading this sentence because oooouffff, but true. But, as others have pointed out, we don't know what he wants to do with his career. Maybe he was more ambitious and the jobs he was going for didn't pan out. Maybe he's still waiting for the right role to come along. Maybe he's perfectly happy doing Bton every 2 years (omg, freaking kill me with that longass timeframe). As previously stated, until he or his team make any sort of statement - all we can do is make chatter and noise.

(I also can totally see your last point. I would hope that for the fans like me, who don't put him on a pedestal but still really like and support him, this wouldn't be the case. But I've also see firsthand on Twitter those in the fandom would give him a free pass if he was single again 🤷🏻‍♀️

I'm actually genuinely curious the demographics of those in the Lukola and Polin fandoms. It would be interesting to break down...)

Anyway, thank you for the ask! I hope my further ramblings made sense 😆

[jessbakescakes]

i love your fic games! for the character list, i cant choose between cj, donna, or amy

You know, I'll pick Amy because no one asks me about Amy LOL!

favorite thing about them: I like that she likes dogs/has a dog. Also learning how to make the balloon animals for her nephews is endearing.

least favorite thing about them: I think she falls victim to "feminist written by a man" syndrome first and foremost, but also, maybe don't throw your partner's phone in stew.

favorite line: "Quite the contortionist am I."

brOTP: A post Season 7 Amy-Donna alliance would be incredible but honestly Amy and Abbey are such a fun dynamic.

OTP: I don't know that I have one for Amy but I feel deep in my soul that she is a lesbian, send tweet.

nOTP: Amy/Josh

random headcanon: Amy tries to watch period dramas but gets frustrated at their inaccuracies.

unpopular opinion: I don't think Amy and Josh are "the same person" except she's a woman. They both want to win, but their hard stops are different.

song i associate with them: I don't know that I have one for her, I'm terrible with songs.

favorite picture of them:

This is gonna seem like I'm being unnecessarily mean to Amy but I'll explain: 1) I find her playing with Abbey's skirt so endearing, it's so funny and it's a great acting choice/great direction/whatever. 2) MLP looks incredible in that dress.

Send me a character and I'll answer these questions about them!