#Do women come up and tell you to abort the child?

[mommyhorror]

Hmmmm maybe radblr isn’t a great spot to be for my mental health in case I’m actually ********……..

[kiefbowl]

this is going to sound silly but it isn't silly, and I'm seriously saying this. I do think there is a slight feminist concern to alien abduction stories in so far as we can assume that when people, especially women, talk about their abductions and their abilities to communicate with extra terrestrials et cetera, they are someone who is mentally unwell and who has likely experienced something traumatic. alien abduction stories tend to have common elements even if there are details wildly different from each individual. those details are different because they likely didn't happen, but the common elements tend to be things like being taken from home, being violated, being exposed, having things implanted in the body, experiencing pregnancy, having secret knowledge, having a special connection to the extra terrestrials...

you can start putting some pieces together. yes, sometimes these elements are shared because they are what's heard in pop culture. you're more likely to imagine the details of a book you read or a tv show you saw than come up with something so fantastically new and original. you can imagine, for example, if someone is a say a seven year old girl being manipulated into sexual favors by a trusted adult and doesn't understand what's happening to her and has seen alien media and perhaps even has other messaging around her wrt sin, purity, worthiness, karma (what have you), and also perhaps is predisposed to mental illness, it's easier to believe she's a special person being abducted by other worldly creatures who don't truly mean her harm. you can see how a vivid child's imagination could lead to an adult believing memories that never happened.

and so the feminist concern is to not treat these stories as complete jokes and hoaxes and roll our eyes. I'm just reminded today of something I saw years ago. I think it was a Penn and Teller Bullshit episode on aliens, and they had a group of hard core believers talking about their experiences with aliens, and it felt like we were supposed to be laughing at them when at least one of them was a woman who truly believed an alien husband took her way sometimes and forced her to give birth and she had several children she didn't get to see in space, and she was clearly not very well adjusted socially. all I could think was is this a woman who's been raped? is this a woman who has been forced to have abortions? is this a woman who has had multiple miscarriages? is this a woman experiencing domestic abuse from a husband or boyfriend? but the episode wasn't interested in exploring that, and she stuck out as "one of these things is not like the others" when juxtaposed to fake professors trying to sell their weirdo books as a living or whatever else was in the episode.

when we say believe women, that includes "crazy" women. women who say ghosts are trying to kill them, who talk about people living in their walls coming out at night to steal their body parts, women who believe they are married to alien overlords since they were 12 and have birth 50 alien babies. these women are probably telling us something and I think we can say "I believe something has happened to you" rather than make a mockery of them.

[storiesforallfandoms]

change in a heartbeat ~ billy butcher;the boys

word count: 2523

request?: no

description: billy butcher is many things, namely an idiot, and he showcases that best after he finds out his girlfriend is pregnant

pairing: billy butcher x female!reader

warnings: swearing, angsty angst, mentions of abortions, use of y/n, pregnancy stuff, butcher being an idiot which like what else is new y’know?

masterlist (one, two, three)

I knew I was pregnant before the test came back positive. I never believed when women said that because it just seemed improbable, but I definitely knew. Besides noticing I had missed my period, I just felt off in a way I couldn’t describe. I guess I had to know, otherwise I wouldn’t have taken the test. And there it was, the two lines confirming my suspicions.

I always thought I’d be scared to get a positive result on a pregnancy test. I never thought I was ready to have a kid. But in that moment, I was overcome with joy. Sure, the thought of pregnancy and childbirth was still terrifying, but I was actually excited about having a baby; I was happy to be carrying Billy’s baby.

I knew he was coming over the day I took the pregnancy test. I had timed it so I could tell him the second he walked through the door. There was no way I would’ve been able to keep this to myself for long, and I knew it was something I had to tell him in person. The second I heard him opening the front door to my place, I was throwing myself into his arms, nearly knocking him over.

“Alright, what’s this then?” Billy chuckled.

“I have some news,” I told him. “Very good news, I think.”

“What is it then, love?”

I pulled the pregnancy test from my back pocket and presented it to Billy. I watched as his eyes looked over the plastic stick. My excitement started to turn to dread as I watched the amused look on Billy’s face disappear.

“Is this a bloody joke?” he asked.

I flinched at his harsh tone. That definitely was not the reaction I was expecting. “No, it’s real. I have another one in the bathroom if you want to watch me use it as proof.”

I was trying to make a joke to lighten the mood, but Billy’s face didn’t change.

“This is good news?” he asked, holding up the pregnancy test.

“It...is?” I definitely didn’t sound as certain as I had felt moments ago. “I thought so anyways. I thought...I thought you’d be happy, too.”

“Why the fuck would I be happy about a baby I don’t fucking want?”

His words cut through my chest like a knife. I took a step away from Billy. I felt tears welling in my eyes, but I tried to hold them back.

“Maybe I thought you loved me enough to want to have a child with me,” I countered.

Billy scoffed. “Oh, come off it (Y/N). This isn’t about how much I love ya. It’s about the fact that I don’t want kids, no matter who they’re with.”

“Well, I’m pregnant and it’s yours. So what are we going to do about this?”

I was hoping he’d say that I was right and he wanted our baby. I wanted him to apologize, and maybe even drop to his knees and kiss my belly to be a bit cliche. I wanted him to just accept this baby, that was it.

Instead, he asked, “Would you get an abortion?”

The dam finally broke and tears started to run down my cheeks. I snatched the pregnancy test back from Billy and held it so tightly that my nails and the plastic were digging into the palm of my hand.

“I think you should leave,” I told him, trying hard to keep my voice even.

“(Y/N) - ”

“No,” I cut him off. “You’ve made your decision and I’ve made mine. I want you out of my fucking house, now.”

“If you are going to get an abortion, I want to come with you.”

I shook my head. “I’d rather you not. In fact, I’d rather not see you at all.”

Billy nodded. I saw some hurt on his face, and I was glad I did. I hoped my words hurt him just as bad as his hurt me. Without another word, Billy went back out the door. Once it closed behind him, I sunk to the floor and let myself sob. I realized I was still holding the pregnancy test, so I tossed it as far away from me as I could.

Stupid fucking piece of plastic.

~~~~~~

Butcher’s POV

I looked down at my phone for the fifth time in about 20 minutes. I don’t know why I was still hoping to hear from (Y/N) after our last encounter. It had been days, nearly a week, and neither of us had spoken to the other. Not that I expected (Y/N) to be the one to break the silence.

“You still with us, Butcher?” MM asked. To say he sounded frustrated would be an understatement. I couldn’t blame him since this was the third or fourth time I had completely zoned out while he was explaining our plan.

“Yeah,” I lied.

They all knew it was a lie, but they weren’t going to call me out on it at this point.

MM started talking again, but it immediately became background noise to me. My hand inched closer to my phone again. I couldn’t stop myself. Even knowing it had been mere seconds since I checked last, I had to see if there was any messages.

There wasn’t.

“Butcher!”

“Fuck off, mate!” I snapped back. “Jesus Christ, can’t a man just check his phone?!”

They were all looking at me and it pissed me off. I wanted to punch all of them in their stupid fucking faces - except maybe Kimiko. She’d probably rip my arm off before I even touched her.

“What’s going on, man?” Hughie asked. “You’ve been irritable for days now.”

Damn that kid for being so perceptive, and for caring enough to ask.

“It’s nothing.”

“Is it about (Y/N)?” Hughie asked. “You haven’t mentioned her or brought her around in days.”

“I said it’s fuckin’ nothing!”

They all shared a look. MM asked, “What happened, man? Is she okay?”

My hands curled into fists. I took a deep breath in to try and calm myself. I may as well be honest with them if I was going to be snapping at them. “She’s pregnant.”

They were silent. Unsure looks crossed their faces, but once again, Hughie was the first to speak, “That’s...great. Isn’t it?”

“It would’ve been if I hadn’t told her to get rid of the baby.”

A chorus of “what?!”s rang out through the room.

“I thought you loved (Y/N), no?” Frenchie asked. “Would that not mean you should be happy that she is having your baby?”

“It is your baby...right?” Hughie added.

I restrained myself from snapping at him. Given Becca’s circumstances, it wasn’t a bad question. “Yes, it is, but this life I lead is not one for a baby. You should know that best, MM.”

“It’s hard to do what we do and have a kid, sure,” MM agreed. “I worry about Janine every second I’m not with her, but that’s how I was before we started chasing Supes. That’s called parenting, Butcher.”

“This is different, and you know it.”

MM raised an eyebrow at me. Christ, I hated that fucking face; like he could see right through into my head and read my every thought. I hated the lot of them for knowing so much. For caring. Everything was easier when I didn’t have so many people who were actually level headed and caring.

“Butcher, I say this with the utmost respect: you are a stupid motherfucker,” MM said. “I know what your concerns are, and I’m not saying that they’re not valid, but if you are going to let a woman like (Y/N) get away over your own worries without talking to her - and I know you haven’t told her the truth because I know you - then you are the dumbest motherfucker that I know.”

He was right and I knew that. It may be too late, but I had to talk to (Y/N) and tell her the truth. If she still decided we were over and she didn’t want to keep the baby, then I’d respect her decision. I just needed to talk to her at least.

I was moving towards the door before I really realized it. Frenchie called after me, “Where are you going?”

“To talk to (Y/N),” I responded.

“But the plan!”

I was out the door before Frenchie finished his sentence.

~~~~~~

(Y/N)’s POV

I wasn’t expecting anyone when a knock came at my door. Most people wouldn’t get overly paranoid about a random knock, but most people didn’t deal with psychopathic Supes. I didn’t make a move at first. Realistically, it it were Homelander, he wouldn’t knock. He’d break into my house and laser me dead before I even knew what was happening. That didn’t stop me from sitting completely still, trying to calm my pounding heart.

Another knock came and I reluctantly stood. I had a bat next to my door in case of intruders. My hand closed around the bad as I looked through the peep hole to see who it was.

To my surprise, Billy Butcher was stood at the other side of my door.

I debated on not opening it and letting him stand there until he gave up and left. But then he said, “I know you’re there, (Y/N). Just open the door.”

Reluctantly, I did as he said, but I didn’t take my hand off of the bat.

“I’m an idiot,” he said before I could speak. “I should’ve talked about my concerns when you told me you were pregnant, but instead I let myself get freaked out and say shit I didn’t mean. I know an apology isn’t enough, but I am so, so sorry, (Y/N).”

“What are you so concerned about?” I asked. I wanted to know his true feelings before I slammed the door in his face. It might be the closure I needed before I finally let go of this relationship.

“Can I come in so we can talk?”

I raised an eyebrow. “You’re lucky I’m letting you talk period. Don’t push your luck, Butcher.”

He nodded. “Alright, fair enough. I’m terrified of turning out like my old man.”

And just like that, nine words caused me to let down every guard I had put up the second I saw him through the peep hole. He didn’t have to say anything else, because that was enough to make me understand. But he went on anyways, “My father was a terrible fucking man, and my mum let him be terrible to me and to Lenny. I had no other older man to help me, to look up to. Lenny had me, and what did I do but go and leave him alone with that monster. And if I had no one else to take after but my dad, then how can I not turn out like him with my own kid? It’s never something I had to worry about when I was married to Becca, because I didn’t have that same level of anger and hatred as I do now after everything that’s happened to me because of those fucking Supes.”

Of course he was worried because of his dad. I should’ve realized that the second he started freaking out after seeing the pregnancy test. It didn’t make his reaction or his suggestion right by any means, but maybe if I had realized before then I could’ve gotten him to actually talk to me instead of kicking him out of my house.

But he wasn’t done. “And what’s to say that Homelander doesn’t do something to you and the kid once he realizes you’re pregnant? I took his son from him once, what’s to stop him from taking mine? I can’t guarantee you or the baby would be protected all the time, and I can’t lose someone else that I love to that fuckin’ cunt.”

I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about that for a split second when I took the pregnancy test at first. Homelander had no morals. He wasn’t above hurting a child, or a pregnant woman, just to hurt Billy. But Billy and I had been together for over a year now and nothing had happened to me yet. I trusted him to protect me, and I trusted everything he had taught me to protect myself.

“I was a fucking idiot for everything I said before,” Billy said. “I wouldn’t want you to get rid of our baby, (Y/N). I don’t have a lot of good things in my life lately, but you are one of the best things. This baby would be one of the best things.”

I could feel myself getting choked up again. I cleared my throat and asked, “And what if I already got rid of it?”

“Then I’ll put another one in ya.”

I couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped my lips. It was the most Billy response he could’ve given.

I finally let go of the back and stepped aside. I motioned for him to come inside and he did without hesitation. I led him to the living room where I had just been sat before he showed up. I picked up my phone from the couch and opened it to play him the recording I had been listening to on repeat for days.

His brows furrowed together. “What is that?”

“It’s our baby’s heartbeat,” I explained. “When you go for an abortion, if you’re far enough along they’ll sometimes have you listen to the heartbeat before you make your decision. At first it just sounded like a bunch of noises to me, but when it kicked in that it was the heartbeat of my...our baby...I just couldn’t do it.”

When his eyes met mine, I saw that they were shiny with tears forming. I couldn’t remember ever seeing Billy Butcher cry in all the time I had known him.

“So...you’re still...?”

I nodded. “There’s still a bun in this oven.”

He had his hands on his face and was pulling me to him before the words were fully out of my mouth. His pressed his lips against mine. I balled his Hawaiian shirt in my fists and held him close to me. Everything felt right again. I finally felt whole for the first time in nearly a week.

“I’m so sorry, love,” he said when he pulled away. “I promise you, I will be here for you and for our baby. Every step of the way, I promise.”

“I believe you,” I said. “And I promise you that you will not be like your dad. I know you won’t. I trust you and I believe in you.”

He kissed me again before dropping to his knees in front of me. He pulled my shirt up enough to show my belly and pressed a kiss against the sensitive skin, tickling it a little bit with his beard.

“I’m going to protect you, kid,” he said. “I won’t let a soul hurt you. That’s a promise.”

[abbyfmc]

Yandere Emperor! x Female! Reader Phrases #2:

A/N: Continuation of the previous part.

-"When did I say you could go? I brought you here to cuddle you"- The yandere emperor will surely have summoned you one night to serve him, and seeing that you were trying to leave or looking for excuses to leave, he will have closed any door or window, or grabbed you by the wrist or another part of the body.

-"If you are in love with someone else, I will behead him without hesitation"- He is the yandere emperor, and he is capable of anything to have you by his side, including extreme physical punishments or the execution of your partner or fiancé.

-"You didn't know who was going to attack me or how, and yet you protected me that year and suffered great damage to your body. I really appreciate what you did and I want to make it up to you by letting you be my wife."- In a story about Yandere crown prince x maid reader, you probably served the yandere prince (who in the future would be the yandere emperor) closely, and due to the environment in which he lived, you had to watch his back many times, ending up being sometimes punished by other superiors and even tortured. The yandere prince KNOWS about your wounds and scars and now that he is an emperor, he tries to reward you.

-"I will take good care of you."- A more subtle and "kinder" way to make you understand that you will not leave the palace.

-"No matter what you are, you will still be mine. You can be my empress, my favorite consort or concubine; and if you want to be a servant, you will serve at my side, so your rank within this palace does not matter; you will NEVER escape from me."- Another stern warning from him. You are partly right; since if you are his empress, consort or concubine, you will have to continue serving or obeying him in everything. If you are a maid, he will purposely make you clean what he tells you, wash his clothes, follow him and take care of him; or he would put you to hard labor as punishment, until you beg him.

-"If someone dares to hurt you, I will punish the person responsible and their family."- Before, in an imperial family the issue of clans was very important and people like the empress, consorts and concubines were no exception (come on, not even the maids, guards or eunuchs were saved from it) and if they did something very bad, The emperor could punish them and their families or clans with whatever he wanted; from exile, loss of compensation and living conditions, to multiple executions.

-"Every item sent to (Y/n)'s palace must be meticulously checked."- The yandere emperor KNOWS that fights and intrigues occur in the harem that mostly end in murders, attempted murders, poisonings, accidents, false accusations and even attempted abortions by some concubines on others. He would do it with the excuse of protecting you and your possible child.

-"I can't wait to see you carry our children in your womb. That will unite us more, and make you more mine."- The yandere emperor wants to sleep with you and get you pregnant (if you are a woman), because he thinks that not only could a prince from your side be the future of the empire (or if it is a princess, he could form marital and political alliances), but He believes that with that you will not leave his side.

-"I feel delighted with every walk I take with you. Every talk, every laugh, every meal, every celebration and even when you sleep with me, I feel great; something I never experienced with anyone else."- The yandere emperor would love every moment with you; more preferably alone than in a group with his other imperial women.

-"Let these marks or scars be a clear warning in case you try to escape again."- The yandere emperor is strict with his rules, and the "no escape" rule is undoubtedly the strictest. Every time he sees you trying to escape he not only locks you up, but physically punishes you so that when you see the scars when you change or bathe, you have a memory of what will happen to you if you try to escape from him again.

-"I always collect every gift you give me, although there is one that I still fight for and that you still don't give me: your heart."- Yes, the emperor adored and appreciated either discreetly or indiscreetly each of your gifts; whether it was new clothes, new accessories, some painting on him, some sculpture, a show or simply personally playing an instrument for him. But he knows that you do it without love for him.

-"I promise you that I will take care of you and our son."- He would probably make you pregnant, and as soon as he found out he put you under all kinds of 24/7 care. He watched you all the time and had every gift, food, drink or medicine that came into your hands thoroughly checked.

-The end.

[theivorybilledwoodpecker]

I was exactly halfway into my second pregnancy, and up until that point, we were so ecstatic to be expecting again — a baby we’d been praying for. We kept talking about and imagining the joy it would be to bring our new baby home to meet our 2-year-old daughter. But at my 20-week ultrasound, a day that is supposed to be full of excitement and awe, we received devastating news. Our baby, a second daughter, had many severe and insurmountable skeletal and organ issues. Fetal specialists told us that it was extremely unlikely she could survive because all her major organ systems had significant development issues. We were blindsided and heartbroken, and yet somehow clear-minded. We chose to do what we believed was best for our unborn daughter as well as for our family; because that is what you do as parents. And we saw the choice we ultimately made as an act of love for her. We respect and honor that other parents have chosen — and will continue to choose — the only other option our doctor suggested to us — to let the pregnancy take its natural course and provide specialist or palliative care as needed. And that is the point. Individuals and their families — no matter where they happen to live — must be able to make the best choice for them. They need to be free to choose their own act of love. I believe now more than ever that anyone’s reason for seeking an abortion is valid. Who are we to say it isn’t? What we didn’t know when we made our decision was that in addition to being so difficult emotionally, it would be made so much worse by the abortion bans recently enacted in Idaho. Because of these cruel laws, my Idaho doctors could not provide me with an abortion — something they could easily have done before Roe v. Wade was overturned — in my own community supported by family and friends. We had to spend the following days cold-calling countless clinics in nearby states where abortion is still legal, but found out that because of all the other new abortion bans in states across the country, many clinics had closed, most had no open appointments for several weeks, and still others considered my pregnancy, at 20 weeks, too far along for me to receive care. The thought of waiting out this pregnancy, possibly for weeks, or however long, while trying to get through the day working as a chiropractor and still being active and present for our toddler was more than I could handle. All I could think about was whether the daughter I was carrying was already suffering; my anxiety and sadness were overwhelming. We both felt hopeless and heartbroken until we reached a Seattle clinic with a last-minute cancellation. Although relieved, there was so much we had to do to get there in the haze of our grief. There were flights to make, hotels to book, a car to rent and medical care our health insurance would not cover because we were going out of state to access and receive it. One of the most tragic — and degrading — parts of our situation was knowing that people in my home state of Idaho believe this is acceptable, denying me bodily autonomy. We will always be grateful to the clinic and team in Seattle for offering us professional, compassionate care. I am a person of faith and for months after my abortion, I kept telling Brandon there had to be something positive that would come out of this experience. Several months later, I learned that the Center for Reproductive Rights was putting together a challenge to Idaho’s abortion laws, and I knew immediately that moving forward as a plaintiff in the case was something I had to do. I’m proud to be one of the many women and doctors challenging and broadening these laws. Physicians in Idaho must have greater discretion over when abortion exceptions are warranted, and the decision should be the patient’s in consultation with their doctors.

[spacelazarwolf]

i think you’re absolutely right about the cuntboys/make trans guys pregnant shit. it made me so uncomfortable too.

pregnancy has always been a giant fear of mine, and there are people out there who genuinely think forcing trans men to get pregnant will ‘fix’ us or some shit. like, sure, it’s fine to joke abt stuff that affects you, but that post didn’t read all that jokey to me tbh.

and the cuntboy thinf. seriously? that’s essentially just pushing us- (sorry can’t remember the right word for it lol) but it’s just pushing us down to labeling us by what we were born with and differentiating us from cis men

it's just blowing my fucking mind to watch them try to backtrack and claim it was "just joking about kinks between friends" because that is literally not what happened. they were talking specifically about a group of "cuntboys" they don't like, said that they should make those "cuntboys" they don't like "fat and pregnant" and then joked about making them "breeders." if they were joking about a kink between friends, they'd have made a separate post and used language that made it clear they were talking about themselves. they didn't though bc they were literally talking specifically about a group of people they don't like and specifically weaponizing a terrifying and traumatizing experience a lot of trans ppl who can get pregnant never ever want to experience.

and i put this in the tags of my other answer, but like. when roe v wade fell, i waited on the phone for 4 hours with the "women's health clinic", the only clinic in my area that took medicaid, to try to get an appointment to get sterilized and it took another two weeks just to get it confirmed. i remember the guy i was hooking up with texted me the day the news broke and asked if i wanted to stop hooking up because he knew how huge a fear pregnancy is for me. i had been trying to get sterilization surgery for years but kept getting sent away, and finally i had to just tell the doctor i had my appointment with "listen dude i am almost 30 i know what i want if i get pregnant and i can't get an abortion my only option will be to kill myself and i really want to fucking live so please give me this surgery." insurance ended up not even covering a hysterectomy so i had to opt for tubal removal. because even being on hormones and having a clear record of asking over and over again for sterilization wasn't enough to grant me bodily autonomy, i had to give them no other option. i got misgendered the entire time i was at the hospital and don't even remember how i got home because i was barely out of anesthesia and conscious when they loaded me in my sister's car.

a pregnancy is a death sentence for so many trans people. and for those that end up going through it, or even for those who want to go through it, pregnant trans people are treated horrifically. if your kid comes out with birth defects, you can be prosecuted for child endangerment because testosterone can cause birth defects.

you do not fucking make jokes like that about other people. and you do not turn around and tell the people you made rape/forced pregnancy jokes about that they're being too sensitive or that they're somehow making you uncomfortable for calling you out on your disgusting and misogynistic joke. this is not fucking 2016 reddit you do not have to be an edgelord to be accepted as one of the guys. making literal rape jokes is not protecting trans women. it's you being a misogynist. i am not changing my mind on this.

[pawnshopbleus]

These Are the Days Nine - Theodore

Abby Anderson x Fem!Reader High School AU

For the summary, warnings, and more, please visit here.

Previous Chapter.

You’re grateful for days like these. When it’s not too cold and not too hot. When the weather calls for a light sweater instead of the puffy jacket your mom bought you three years ago. Surprisingly, it still fit. 

The window in your room showcased the falling leaves that danced in the wind. That’s one of the reasons why you decided to move your desk in front of it. It brought you peace of mind and let you focus on something other than Abby. 

She was the only thing you’ve been thinking about. When you’re eating, sleeping, watching TV, listening to music, reading; It all comes back to her. 

Sometimes it doesn’t even pertain to only Abby. Your mind wanders off to Owen and how he doesn’t deserve someone like her. What about him makes him so special? He’s not cute, he smells like dirt and cigarettes, he’s not that smart, and he’s moderately okay at football. He’s had everything handed to him just because his father is the football coach. He doesn’t respect women and acts like a child when he doesn’t get his way. Abby is too kind and smart for him. 

The sound of your parent's cars pulling into the driveway pulls you out of your hateful monologue and back into the present. They weren’t supposed to be home for another five hours so the fact that they’re here makes you scrunch your eyebrows together. 

You quietly make your way downstairs and into the foyer. Your parents are pulling off their shoes and hanging up their bags. When they turn to walk into the living room, they’re caught off guard by your presence. It’s as if they forgot that another person lives here. 

You simply stare at your parents, emotionless. This is the first time you’ve seen them in two weeks. 

“I was nominated for something at school. I'm going to be speaking at the school board meeting.” 

Your mom opens her mouth to give an excuse as to why they can’t attend. You’ve gotten used to this. You hold up your hand and shake your head. 

“I know you can’t go. I just wanted to tell you guys.”

You’re running up the stairs and back into your room before they can say anything. You’re sure that they weren’t going to congratulate you by their exchange of annoyed looks. 

Being the daughter of hard-working people is tough, but being the daughter of neglectful parents is a pain that no child should ever experience. You would give anything in the world to go back in time and tell your parents to abort you. It’s harsh, but they weren’t ready to be parents. Their reckless actions resulted in you being punished. 

You’re staring at the window once more, but this time you could care less about the stupid color-changing leaves. Your eyes find your reflection in the glass and for the first time in a long time, you allow yourself to cry. You’re not crying because your parents can’t make it to the board meeting, you’re not crying because you think Abby deserves better, you’re not crying because Owen’s an asshole - you’re crying because you don’t deserve to feel this way. 

You’ve been nothing but nice to Owen. You’ve shown Abby that she deserves better. You’ve been nothing but a good and obedient daughter to your parents and this is how they make you feel. You have more than enough reasons to become the villain but you don't want to. You aren’t evil. You aren’t vain. You are the kindest person to walk the earth and you need to start putting yourself first. 

If Abby’s going to keep going back to Owen then you’re going to stop being there for her. No matter what you do or what you say, she always goes back. Maybe this time she’ll realize the mistake she’s making. 

–

The first step in putting yourself first is getting a pet. You’ve always wanted a furry little friend to keep you company but your parents refused. Your mom hated the idea of animals living in the same space as she did. You were asked to never bring the topic up again and you listened. For the past seventeen years, you sat quiet and still while you yearned for a pet. Now, you were going to go out and get it. 

Dina picked you up in Ellie’s Jeep. Dina’s car was in the shop for some minor repairs and Ellie, being the kind girlfriend she is, let Dina use her car for the time being. She was more than willing to come pet shopping with you.

‘Shopping’ was a bit of a stretch as the two of you would go to the local animal shelter. You know what it’s like to be unwanted and alone so getting an animal from the shelter was a no-brainer. 

There are rows upon rows of sleeping kittens and barking dogs. A piece of paper near each cage says their name, age, and a little description of how each animal got here. A few dogs caught your eye like Maggie, six, donated by the owner, and: Cookie, one, found in a box on the side of a road. Although their stories were sad enough, the volunteer who was guiding you through the shelter brought you to the last cage at the end of the hall. There sat a shaggy black and white dog. His placard said that he was a seven-year-old Pomeranian named Theodore. He was found on the side of the highway after his owner dumped him there. Witnesses say that he was seen running after the car but he eventually grew tired. 

You lean down, place your hand on the glass, and let the cool surface rest against your warm palm. Theodore hesitantly walks up and scratches at the glass. His tail wags aggressively now that he knows you’re not a threat. You stare at Theodore with nothing but love in your eyes and for the first time in a long time, you feel whole.

Next Chapter

Taglist: @rew1nds @colbyweirdo

Thank you for reading!

[rosedpetal]

Over Again

Summary: You tried to run from him, but he wasn't about to allow that.

Pairing: Lloyd Hansen x Reader

Word count: 1k

Author's note: this is a repost.

Warnings: smut, imbalance relationship dynamics, all that fun stuff.

Minors, do not interact.

Masterlist

Shit.

You mumbled under your breath, feeling your eyes water and a strangled sob leave your throat. Your back hit the cold bathroom wall, and you tried your hardest to inhale and exhale, the mechanical act of breathing seeming too hard to do in the moment.

The two red lines in the pregnancy test made you know your life was never going to be the same again.

You lived with your parents. You were drowning in college debts (which was how you ended up in this whole mess). You were pretty sure you couldn't afford to buy diapers and formula for at least the next fifteen years.

Your cries got louder, and you squeezed the plastic test in your palm, as if it could make everything go away.

It wouldn't.

With your arms crossed over your chest and fidgeting with your leg anxiously, sunglasses to attempt to cover your face and a flowery sundress, you stood in the line to enter the shady clinic that Betty gave you the address to.

"The father left?" a sudden low male voice spoke behind you, and you shrieked.

You turned to look at him, fear rushing through your spine.

Lloyd looked too good for his own good in one of his stupid polo shirts, the creepy grin under the ugly mustache that you grew to love when it rubbed your most intimate parts adorning his sculpted face.

The few women in front of you were too aggravated by their own little problems to acknowledge the commotion you made.

"Lloyd, I-I can explain." You gulped. "I'm just here waiting for a friend, I-"

"Shut the fuck up, sunshine. You're a terrible liar." He mocked you, eyeing like a stalker do to its prey. "You're not showing yet. Little Hansen's already giving you hell?"

You cringed when he said that, a wave of nausea threatening to spill the contents of your breakfast.

"How did you...?"

Before you could say anything more, Lloyd roughly yanked you by your arm, shoving you to the backseat of his expensive car. The driver rolled the partition up, giving you two privacy.

"You know, sunshine, you could've come to me. But you chose to go behind my back, and that I can't forgive."

"Lloyd-"

"I told you to shut the fuck up." His blue eyes darkened, the gaze of lust and anger weighing on you like a thousand pounds. "Now, you're going to be a big girl and explain with words why on the damn earth you were going to have an abortion. Now."

Your tears fell freely on your face and you felt his fingers on your chin, forcing you to look at him.

"I'm so so sorry." You broke, just the way he loved. "I didn't wanna be a burden."

Lloyd gently caressed your face with the back of his hand, wiping your tears away his thumb.

"I was willing to do everything for you, sunshine. Pay your student debt, date you. Maybe put a ring on your finger. You just disappeared on me. You broke my heart." He sighed, resting his forehead on yours.

Things weren't supposed to go this way. Lloyd was just your sugar daddy. He treated you like a dumb little thing.

Of course, he did spoil the hell out of you. He was great in bed too. In fact, that's why you stayed so long and came back to him all the damn time.

But two years into this dangerous dance you and him waltzed to were becoming too much. Lloyd would never give you anything more than a few bank checks, Tiffany threats and the best sex a woman could dream of. Other than that, he'd never respect you.

Never let you be your own person, never let you go. So you had to run away.

"Tell me, sunshine..." Caging you with an arm thrown over your shoulder and sliding down his hand under the hem of your dress, reaching to where you needed him more, he asked: "Have I not been giving you enough?"

"You'll never love anyone, Lloyd. Not even your own child." You whispered, heart pacing faster under his sweet gaze. You hated the way he gave you butterflies. You shouldn't want his attention.

But you needed it so bad.

"Baby, you're out of your damn mind if you think I don't absolutely adore you, mon chérie." His mustache tickled the side of your face. "I told you I'd take care of you. Stop being so damn stupid and allow me to do so."

You barely noticed when he pushed your panties to the side, his index finger coating your wetness. You whimpered when he entered you in an embarrassing easy way.

"Lloyd..."

"Tell me you don't need this, and I'll walk away."

You knew him too well to know he was lying. He'd never do that. He was too dark, too deranged, too selfish to do anything that wasn't going to benefit him in the long run.

"Oh!" He curled his finger inside you. The wet sounds coming from your pussy were driving him insane.

"You're always so responsive for me, baby." He purred on your ear. "Makes me so fucking hard."

"Yes! Yes! Just like that, fuck!" You cussed through your teeth, feeling the butterflies pressing into your belly. You screamed and your pussy gushed, soaking Lloyd's hand, giving to him so sweetly that he almost came in his pants. He rode your high to the point of overstimulation, and you desperately pried his grip away from you, breathless.

"You can't leave me, sunshine. I won't let you." He kissed your cheek, licking the salty tears. "I'm going to put a diamond ring on your finger, and you're gonna behave like an obedient little wife. If you do, I can even let you entertain the idea of working."

"Lloyd..." You mumbled, numbed out from pleasure.

"Don't sleep on me yet, baby. You have to take care of me now." He demanded, putting your hand inside his pants.

Then he kissed you. Over and over again.

[balkanradfem]

I feel that any bad-faith argument about abortion needs to be turned into argument about quality and value of all life on earth. Because we are an intelligent species, and are capable of looking ahead and seeing the consequences of out actions.

For instance, we are living in a world with current ongoing wars, where certain people are given the orders to end thousands of lives, without any consequences or retributions. And yet this is not where pro-life is focusing their intent; apparently once babies grow up it's perfectly fine to gruesomely end those same lives in a genocide, or be starved to death during wars, that kind of thing just 'can't be helped'. But women can be pressured and guilted into birthing more babies, so apparently that's the way to go, sure way to increase the amount of suffering in the world.

But, you'll say, not all born babies will be killed off in wars (weird thing to say honestly), what about children who will live their lives safely and happily on this planet?

Well, tell me how?

Any child being born is going to experience the devastating effect of the climate change, they'll watch whole ecosystems collapse, animals going into extinction, and thousands of humans losing their homes and survival resources. They're being born into a misogynistic world, and if the child is female, she'll experience oppression that she won't even be able to prove is real to the male part of the population.

This child will grow up in the world where empathy is scarce, they'll be bombarded with news about human suffering almost every day, they're likely to come down with mental illness or at least feel that the future is bleak and brings more pain. They're also likely to fall victim to pedophiles, predators, and brainwashed boys who learned to sexually assault other kids due to the exposure of p*rn. Is pro-life trying to protect them from any of it? No. They're fighting to stop teaching them about puberty and what sex is, so once these traumatic things happen to them, they're unable to recognize them or speak about it.

But let's look into even more immediate effects of having a child born against their mother's consent. Once a baby is born, they're alive, but we all know that if they're not tended to, they'll die, experiencing nothing but pain. We always assume women will do this labour unprompted, but how can we assume this?

The forced mother, who is already traumatized from having to go trough forced birth, is likely both unwilling and without proper resources to care for a baby. The baby will feel this, they will know they're unloved. They'll know they're unwanted before they even grow up. As a solution to this, you suggest we blame and shame all mothers for not being good enough, for struggling with post-birth trauma or post-partum depression, for being unwilling to be a parent? You can't control what an unwilling mother does with her baby. You forced her to give birth but you can't do anything beyond that point.

Why did you do it? Why did you make sure a baby exists in a world where there is nobody who wants them, is willing to take care of them or give them a good life? What is it worth to you if there's another unwanted, unloved, suffering child out there? Does it make your life better if there's more human suffering? Do you fight for support of new mothers, for better healthcare, for better resources to take care of abandoned babies, for better institutions to take care of unwanted children? No. You feel entitled to women's unlimited labour and endless caretaking of children they don't want. You don't want to acknowledge it's undertaking of a huge scale, that requires endless resources, finances, complete exhaustion, loss of health, sleep, protection, sometimes education and career. It's nothing to you. Loss of quality of life, for everyone involved, means nothing to you.

As long as there is more human suffering. As long as mother didn't get any say over whether she'll become a mother or not, and how many times, and when. As long as her life was put at risk without her consent. As long as she was punished for something you consider she should be punished for.

And now I'm going to circle back to where I started, the war. Because mothers have to watch their children both go to war, risk their lives in war, and be killed in wars. After putting that endless amount of energy and resources to grow and raise a single child, they'll have to watch them go to slaughter. And what happens if a child dies, as a solider in a war? Mother gets payment for it. That's right. For having that child murdered by someone else, the mother will get paid. Murder of that child is not only okay, legal, approved by government and somehow necessary, but is also rewardable to the mother, who, had she refused to birth that same child, causing zero suffering to ensue, would have been punished. Nobody except the mother can get punished.

If the child was killed in a war, and not a soldier, nothing. Apparently loss of life with extreme amount of human suffering, is worth absolutely nothing. But refusing to put that life out there, is a punishable crime. Because it only matters if it's unborn or a newborn. Once that same baby grows up, it's slaughter time. Humans apparently lose value after they grow up, they're only worth as 'endless human potential' in unwilling hands, but after they've reached the age of 'not a baby anymore', worthless.

We have observed the world for long enough to see the consequences of the actions we make. Women are the only ones who can and should decide whether they are willing and able to bring another life into the world, that is worth living, that will provide a life which is livable, enjoyable, worth being alive for. Life is extremely precious and bringing it into the world where it will be subjected to neglect, torture, and possibly a painful death, is unacceptable.

Caring for mother's rights is the first thing that will improve any child's quality of life. Caring about the environment is the second. Ending wars and debilitating male's ability to even start a war, is a fight for life. Not fighting for them to take control of female bodies, which they'll use to make themselves endless supply of soldiers, endless war resources. Taking control from women always means putting it in hands of m*n, who don't find any problem with human suffering, who celebrate wars, find themselves at home doing massive murdering, torturing and raping of women and children.

Women in charge of life means making life compatible with joy, love, care and warmth. We are the only ones who give children have safety, community, care and protection only a willing mother can give. You're wrangling it away from us further away from control the women are. We are fighting for a world where every mother is willing, and every child wanted. Why aren't you?

[danihow]

Maternity aisle

Lee Know x Fem!Reader Stray Kids

Word count:  0.85k

Summary: The one where Lee Know ends up visiting you in the maternity aisle after you had the miscarriaged of the baby none of you knew you were having.

Warning:MISCARRIAGE, unknown pregnancy, angst, hurt/comfort, established relationship, mentions of bleeding, anxious thoughts, breakdown.

A/N:  I can't believe this has been on drafts for 9 months and it was basically finished?? I just hadn'y posted it???

When Minho received the call from their manager that you got admitted to the ER, he left any promotions they were having without a care and basically flew to the hospital.

He arrived panting to the front desk, immediately asking for you and saying you were now in rest, now fleeting to where you were settled at.

Maternity.

When he entered through that doors his eyes were greeted by multiple women of multiple ages, most if not all of them with some companion, multiple holding babies in their arms. His eyes scanned the whole room, ears unable to pick on whatever the nurse was asking him, you were his only priority or worry.

"Y/N." He breathed, spotting you at the end of the room in your own medical bed and in hospital clothes, head low, not having realized he was there.

"Sir, you need help?" The nurse asked to what Minho denied, walking over to you.

"Y/N..." He said, stopping his tracks at the end of the bed, the ring of his voice making you look up, the deep sadness and worry in your eyes sent his heart sinking to his belly, stomach feeling suddenly empty. "What... what happened?"

You couldn't mutter anything, you felt the worry, the sadness and the worry so deep rooted in you that you couldn't. You patted your side, telling him to silently sit beside you, to which he unhesitant obliged while your mind tried to put a monologue together.

"You are worrying me honey, what happened? Why are we in the maternity ais-"

"I suffered an abortion, Minho." You spit, tongue almost tripping over the words that left you, fingers fiddling together. "I... was pregnant, but I lost it."

"You... were pregnant?" He can't help but reiterate your words, nothing making sense in his brain.

"I didn't know I swear, I had a horrible pain during lunch and then I bled, and my friend brought me here, I- we lost a child." You mutter, the whole situation weighting too much upon you. "I'm sorry."

"What are you apologizing for?" He asks as sweetly as he can, one hand coming up to grab both of yours as the other went to your chin, making you look up to him, honest careful eyes falling upon yours, not a single drop of pity in him, just worry. "This isn't something you could control... or even were aware of." He says, all the words flying out his mind, he didn't even know certainly what was happening. "I... I'm not so sure what happened, but don't be sorry about it."

"I-... I don't even know how to feel, Minho." You whisper, a knot in your throat and tears swelling up on your eyes. You felt frustrated, lightless, some sort of sadness of losing something- someone you didn't even knew flowing through your veins and making you shrink in place.

"Stop trying to know everything, y/n, just feel what your heart wants to feel, it's okay, I- we can think this through back home but now just let it out, I'm here with you, I'm always going to be here with you." He says, engulfing you deeply between his arms, in his embrace trying hard to sweep all your worries away and help you, totally clueless about what to do.

You silently let your tears out, damping his grey t-shirt, his hand caressing your back and his lips leaving ghostly kisses on your temples, letting you know wordlessly that he was there, that it was all going to be ok. His mind going a hundred miles per hour, eyes picking up on the sad and pitiful glances other mothers, new fathers and nurses gave the two of you, a lady a bit older than him smiling sadly at him, knowingly.

What was that feeling inside of him? That feeling that made his throat itch, constricting his airway and pulling his guts to the floor? Was it sadness? Stress? Confusion?

No... no it wasn't that, after thinking a bit Minho defined it was the feeling of what if.

You were pregnant yesterday, he wasn't going to ask how, oh, he knew it well. You two were going to be parents until today, he... he was going to be a father, his heart dropping to his stomach at the thought. Was he scared? Hell yes. But he felt deeply sad too, he felt lost, confused, unresponsive as to what to feel upon the news.

"Minho?" You asked, voice a bit strained. Pulling him out of his mind.

"Yeah?" He asked back, in a whisper.

"What are you thinking about?" You asked back, eyes glancing up to his blank expression.

"Not even I know, love." He chuckled, thought so confusing he just let them be. "Are you okay now?" He asked, looking back at her.

"A bit better, I just want to go home."

"We'll go home, let's just stay like this a bit while, please." He whispered, heart not ready to face all his thoughts and talk about whatever happened, heart still shook.

[thatdebaterguy]

Your abortion opinion is dogshit. “Just have safe sex. No child is unwanted” tell me you’re middle class and sheltered and you’ve never done any research without telling me. Childbirth, if you’ve never had any experience with it, is an extremely long, painful, traumatic, and dangerous experience. If a pregnant individual at any point decides they do not want to experience this, they should be allowed to terminate the pregnancy. Are you really going to make a full grown thinking feeling ADULT unwillingly go through +12 hours of agony and potentially a fucking massive surgery while conscious (if you don’t know what a c section is) to prevent the termination of a fucking fetus that doesn’t even know it’s alive and has no capacity to suffer?

“No child is unwanted” you fucking idiot. Is your idea of the worldwide foster system limited to Annie the Musical? Not everyone has a loving family who can accept the child. Foster systems are rife with abuse. Almost nobody who ages out of the foster system has had a good childhood. And that’s only talking about places like North America and Europe. What about places with no nationwide foster system? Do you know about post partum depression?? Do you know about the research done about the mothers that just straight up do not love their babies or their children and regret not aborting them?

Look at me anon. I don’t care if it’s physically impossible for you, thought experiment here, would YOU undergo 9 months of pregnancy symptoms (weak bladder, swollen ankles, morning sickness, baby kicking, etc) and then go through hours of agony followed by a multi-hour cesarean section surgery for which you are conscious. Just to have a baby. Starting right now. I don’t care if you don’t want it I don’t care if you don’t have the money. Right now. “No child is unwanted,” right? Also the baby you have has a 100% chance of being sexually assaulted within the foster care system and becoming a drug addict who dies of an overdose at a young age. Still doing it?

What exactly are you trying to prove? My mother was well into her 40s when I was conceived, I was premature by about 2 weeks, and I was a c-section. She happily reminds me of the pain she went through just to make me exist, but isn't that the miracle of life, of birth, of families? Millions and millions of women go through such hardship and turmoil, 9 months of their lives, to bring life into this world, and will quite frequently then do it AGAIN, and will cherish their children graciously with no regrets. Not everyone has a good family, a good relationship with their mother, not everyone even knows their mother, but they get to experience life, to experience the world, no matter how shitty it gets, they always have a chance at pulling through, reaching happiness, having their own family. Of course it's not as simple as 'just have safe sex' but you see so many abortions are due to those not ready for motherhood yet failing to have protective sex. Personally, I believe if you're willing to have sex, you should be mindful of the consequences, and being horny and immature isn't a plausible excuse for terminating a life. Since my first formulation of an opinion on abortion, I've given it time to think, and have come to somewhat of an idea. Life truly begins once the heartbeat begins within a human child, and conscious existence begins around 25 weeks. The cut-off for abortion should be 25 weeks at latest, as that's when consciousness begins. However, at the development of the heart would also be ideal or acceptable in my eyes.

But of course every family isn't perfect, of course many people don't have a family, I grew up with an absent father who was more invested in booze than my life, I know many people who grew up in foster homes, and sure yes of course it's better to have a supportive family, but growing up adopted or in a foster home doesn't make your chances of a happy life impossible. And every child is wanted. By someone, somewhere. In America alone, there are 2 million couples on the adoption waiting list. Those are 2 million couples who'd greet any child with open loving arms, who'd try their best for that child. Being unwanted by your biological parents is a painful fact that could haunt you for life, but it doesn't negate from the value of life and the countless amazing experiences it has to offer. It just poses a greater challenge for you to overcome, and the greater the risk, the greater the reward. Knowing you've overcome being unwanted by your own family by building your own loving family is genuinely one of the greatest achievements in life, and if you've taken lessons from your parents to better your own parenting skills, to learn from their mistakes, to give someone a father when you didn't have one, then shoutout to you. Shoutout to mothers, to my mother, to single fathers, to loving parents, to orphans, and to those enduring through the hardships of life. We're all proud of you.

[havegaysex]

Why are you telling people to vote for the guy committing genocide :/

because voting is not an endorsement it's harm reduction.

Trump is going to be at best doing the same as Biden and likely much worse for Palestinians and all the countries suffering from American Imperialism than Biden is.

Republicans want to bring back child labor and get rid of social security, medicare, Medicaid. As someone who is surviving on Medicaid and social security I don't want those taken away. The Republican majority house already put a lot of limits on food stamps in this past term and I don't think we'll still have food stamps if we get a republican Congress and a Republican president.

They've made it pretty clear that if they get a republican Congress and a Republican president they're going to enact project 2025 and call a conference of states and try and take our rights back to the days when only wealthy white men had any rights when women and racial minorities had no rights, they want to make it illegal for LGBT+ folks to safely exist in public and get lifesaving healthcare.

In short

Do I support every single thing Biden has done as president?

No.

Do I like him?

Not particularly. But I'm still voting for him because apathy is not a choice.

Do I think that Joe Biden having another term means that we can actually make more progress for labor rights, trans healthcare, abortion access, advancement of the rights and protections for disabled people and so much more?

Yes absolutely.

Do I think that the genocide in Gaza needs to end and the United States needs to stop sending weapons to israel?

Yes, I think that un restricted flow of humanitarian aid into Palestine needs to happen, the siege needs to stop, and the country of Israel and the United States need to be held accountable at an international level. I think that the soldiers of the IDF/IOF need to be held accountable for their war crimes and pillaging that they continuously post evidence of on social medias. I'm trying to put a read more here so ce I've put a few linked articles and quotes from them.

A quote from the article below:

"While our map focuses solely on high school aged youth (age 13-17), some states, such as Oklahoma, Texas, and South Carolina, have considered banning care for transgender people up to 26 years of age. "

I've seen lawmakers in some states try to make it felony punishable by life in prison to get your trans child healthcare to keep them alive because they want to make it illegal for us to exist and a legal for anyone who helps us exist.

some quotes from the article above:

"Led by the long-established Heritage Foundation think tank and fueled by former Trump administration officials, the far-reaching effort is essentially a government-in-waiting for the former president’s second term — or any candidate who aligns with their ideals and can defeat President Joe Biden in 2024. With a nearly 1,000-page “Project 2025” handbook and an “army” of Americans, the idea is to have the civic infrastructure in place on Day One to commandeer, reshape and do away with what Republicans deride as the “deep state” bureaucracy, in part by firing as many as 50,000 federal workers. “We need to flood the zone with conservatives,” said Paul Dans, director of the 2025 Presidential Transition Project and a former Trump administration official who speaks with historical flourish about the undertaking. “This is a clarion call to come to Washington,” he said. “People need to lay down their tools, and step aside from their professional life and say, ‘This is my lifetime moment to serve.’” The unprecedented effort is being orchestrated with dozens of right-flank organizations, many new to Washington, and represents a changed approach from conservatives, who traditionally have sought to limit the federal government by cutting federal taxes and slashing federal spending. Instead, Trump-era conservatives want to gut the “administrative state” from within, by ousting federal employees they believe are standing in the way of the president’s agenda and replacing them with like-minded officials more eager to fulfill a new executive’s approach to governing. The goal is to avoid the pitfalls of Trump’s first years in office, when the Republican president’s team was ill-prepared, his Cabinet nominees had trouble winning Senate confirmation and policies were met with resistance — by lawmakers, government workers and even Trump’s own appointees who refused to bend or break protocol, or in some cases violate laws, to achieve his goals. While many of the Project 2025 proposals are inspired by Trump, they are being echoed by GOP rivals Ron DeSantis and Vivek Ramaswamy and are gaining prominence among other Republicans. And if Trump wins a second term, the work from the Heritage coalition ensures the president will have the personnel to carry forward his unfinished White House business. “The president Day One will be a wrecking ball for the administrative state,” said Russ Vought, a former Trump administration official involved in the effort who is now president at the conservative Center for Renewing America. Much of the new president’s agenda would be accomplished by reinstating what’s called Schedule F — a Trump-era executive order that would reclassify tens of thousands of the 2 million federal employees as essentially at-will workers who could more easily be fired. Biden had rescinded the executive order upon taking office in 2021, but Trump — and other presidential hopefuls — now vow to reinstate it."

"There’s a “top to bottom overhaul” of the Department of Justice, particularly curbing its independence and ending FBI efforts to combat the spread of misinformation. It calls for stepped-up prosecution of anyone providing or distributing abortion pills by mail."

Personally I think that voting for Joe Biden is better than someone who wants to enact this stuff on day one. It's like they read handmaid's tale and want to make that the reality of this country.

"Chapter by chapter, the pages offer a how-to manual for the next president, similar to one Heritage produced 50 years ago, ahead of the Ronald Reagan administration. Authored by some of today’s most prominent thinkers in the conservative movement, it’s often sprinkled with apocalyptic language." Ronald Reagan is a big reason we have a lot of problems we have today with our economy and with a lot more things. The people that supported Ronald Reagan do not need another term in office.

A quote from the article linked below:

"Trump has given no indication that he would be more sympathetic to Palestinian claims, nor that he would place more pressure on Israel to agree to a ceasefire. “The approach of the United States would be that Israel needs to win this war, it was attacked brutally,” Trump’s ambassador to Israel, David Friedman, told the Jewish Telegraphic Agency, describing how Trump would act. Friedman is now a campaign surrogate for Trump."

Personally I think Trump telling Israel to finish the job is indicators that another Trump presidency doesn't mean that weapons would stop being sent to Israel from United States

I fail to see how another term of Donald trump will be any better for the victims of the ongoing genocide in Palestine than President Joe Biden.

i think our system is absolutely messed up and broken but I don't think abstaining from voting is going to actually help.

[fictionadventurer]

Would you be able to tell me more about how pro-life positions are beneficial to women?

I have been becoming more pro-life over the past year because I see edges of this argument online, but I don't know enough to try to clearly explain it to myself, much less to other people. One point someone brought up that helped me see this differently was that abortions are a band-aid solution to sexual abuse and help make it easier to hide sexual violence. And I have also seen the point people make that companies would rather provide abortion care than maternity leave because it keeps people working.

I'm curious if you have other thoughts that can help me affirm this point both to myself and to others? I think there's a lot of vitriol around how people speak about women in abortion discussions, and it can make it hard for people who are on the fence to engage. And having more examples of how pro-life advocates care for women would make it easier to enter into the conversation, especially with people who take a feminist approach to the topic.

(I also want to affirm that I'm asking this in good faith, as someone who wants to learn sincerely, and I hope you might respond sincerely too. I'm taking it for granted that a fetus is also a human, so I'm more interested in how to bring up this other part of the discussion with people. If this is a topic you know less about, that's all right too.)

I tend to approach abortion debates by keeping a laser-focus on the fact that the fetus is a human and a person, because we need to remind people that no problem that the mother faces justifies killing an innocent human being. That said, the pro-life position is infinitely better for women in a bunch of different ways. I'm not going to provide sources, because there are lots of better blogs devoted to that kind of thing (@prolifeproliberty is one that's coming to mind), but I can provide a few talking points.

The biggest benefit a pro-life position provides to a woman is that she doesn't have to live with the fact that she killed her own child. People understand on an instinctive level that a woman is pregnant with a baby; they can try to gloss over it with rhetoric, but the truth remains that the woman pregnant with a human being with its own separate life to live, and abortion violently ends that life. Abortion regret is a very real thing; there's a vast increase in depression and suicide in post-abortive women, and these women often can't get help for such regret, because people deny that it exists, or because "it was her choice".

A pro-life position is also infinitely more empowering to women. Abortion supporters look at a pregnant woman and tell her, "You can't do this. You can't raise a child. You can't have a career. You can't get out of poverty. This will destroy your life." The pro-life position tells a woman that she can do this. She's strong enough. She's smart enough. Both she and her child can have fulfilling lives, because we can help her. The pro-life community provides tons of resources to help women get the supplies and medical care and support that they need to either raise the child or to find adoptive parents to help raise it. Abortion only gets rid of the child--it doesn't solve any of the other problems that made it so difficult for the woman to have a child.

Abortion is also the single greatest tool to allow men to sexually abuse women. The pro-abortion idea that men are against abortion because they want to oppress women is laughable. Men get no benefit from a pro-life position. Abortion allows men to sleep around as much as they like, and if they get a woman pregnant, they don't have to pay child support--they just pay for her abortion and go on their merry way. No concern for her mental or physical or emotional health--just convenience for him. Abortion turns both woman and child into objects for a man's pleasure, to be disposed of when they're not fun anymore.

I could go on for ages, but to keep this simple, I'll just list a few other points:

Abortion greatly increases a woman's risk of breast cancer, and can cause fertility problems later in life.

The abortion pill is extremely dangerous, especially used unsupervised, because it can cause extreme bleeding and other complications.

Abortion allows sexual abusers to hide the evidence of their sexual abuse and keep women trapped longer. This includes human-trafficking and prostitution situations.

Women are often pressured into abortion because of lack of support from their family or community. People might be willing to help her pay for the abortion, but if the woman chooses to have the child, people are unwilling to provide long-term support--it was "her choice", so she has to bear all the responsibility. A decision for abortion made under that kind of pressure isn't really concerned about "a woman's choice."

As you said, employers are far more willing to pay for abortion than they are to provide much more expensive maternity leave, health insurance, etc. It can serve as another tool for employers to oppress workers.

Abortion supporters are often so focused on increasing access to abortion that they put women at risk. They have shot down and repealed bills that require abortion clinics to be licensed and inspected and to meet certain minimum medical standards. They've allowed teenagers to get abortions without parental notification, even though they're legally not competent to make other medical decisions, and the abortion procedure could put the teen's health at risk (plus this can cause teens to be trapped even longer in trafficking situations). They shoot down measures that would require women to be given more information about the abortion procedure and other options--even though informed consent is a cornerstone of medical ethics. If abortion supporters were truly concerned about women, they would be willing to put some of these common-sense protective measures in place.

[vivianbernadetteaurora]

The 1950s

1950s were a big turnover like many other decades before and after and continue to be so. Such as one is over the top., gracious big bold, logos, intensity, blunt, colourful, and brassy almost, when you think of this most of us of our generation would think of the 2000s and the 210s and the shift of the two this 10 period cycle, well actually it’s a 20 year cycle if you really think about it coming in and out of fashion maybe 15 at the most, so you’ve got the 1940s where the war is still going up until 45 where is the, black-and-white even in the movie signals this?, we were invented somehow that had the money to, people like Marilyn Monroe, Elizabeth Taylor, Paul Newman and Robert Redford.

Hollywood and these times does this to these women? It mainly does it to the women it torment them torches them it will give them somebody who is their double., they understudy but tell them how amazing that other person is and that they wouldn’t reject these kind of office so why are you when they are deep into their career and they have given us everything of themselves? They are about down to bound to be a tad bit angry and the funny, narcissism does this to us? It thinks oh it won’t be me. I’ll never feel that way about somebody before me such as Marilyn Monroe probably never thinking she would feel like Joanne Crawford did about her who were up and coming., as a woman, you must be dignified but not too dignified to the point of you coming across arrogant, you must be flirty but never a slut, you must have virgin like quality but don’t be too virginal, age gracefully but don’t be ugly, why don’t you lose a few pounds but don’t get too skinny.

All these things are absolute recipe for disaster, and monsters the real monsters of the people behind these acts of making people feel this way the talent agents the executives, the managers the people who these companies the nepotism, allot it .

The difference in these decades like the 80s and the 90s grunge versus hair metal heroine versus cocaine, two different kinds of things in all of these things I’ve listed above so what are we due for next to me?, the 210s were rather over the top but also subtle so when it comes to our next decade that’s coming up with making it subtle bit again, so these women are men the men had it in the way the homosexual ones anyway they weren’t allowed to be open with their sex, point where they would make these men marry women while they had a life on the side which couldn’t be publicised which couldn’t be shown, I even said to my boyfriend if we break up, I want to marry a gay man, the way gay men treat women, and I hate to make sweeping statements and I seem to a lot. I seem to write like that energies sometimes.

But I love the beauty of sees a woman and her straight man never could. , this decade of the 50s bought us the Marilyn Monroe of her absolute peak, her beautiful presence versatile and face, even though she was even one he got bullied by Louis Mayer, the company, to the point I think he even called her his little chinless wonder, bullying tactics, it worked in the 2000s with Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton, where do they stay? These women go back, they’ve made up a bit now because they’re both mothers, I dread to imagine what kind of mother might be with her addiction issues sorry I’m an addict myself and it worries mate maybe it was a blessing, disguise have children?, like not to be able to have children it’s horrible. Your life ends up becoming an addiction disaster if you’re not stable enough.m and men who don’t treat you right, children are a blessing and if you have them count yourself lucky every day, do I think abortions bad, I don’t if you’re not in the right place to have a child then you shouldn’t.

This is comparing all the decades having very similar ways and if you look at it, you’ll see,. one thing I didn’t like was Jane Mansfield think the woman had much class, especially when it came to Monroe she played into the image of being exactly like her, to me it’s a shame they didn’t play into her being probably mixed cause I think she is. and by no means do I mean blackface but make them more darker? Dark hair? Lipstick et cetera, but they had to do a copy of, king size Monroe call her, and she was she lived, Monroe hated it and if you can see some of these pictures she copied it, was is Mansfield love being Monroe as Monro didn’t.

[so-i-grudgingly-joined-this-site]

Dream-Killing Bitches, Evil Exes, and Bad Moms: Portrayals of Women in "The Kindly Ones"

So, I've been attempting to write a more formal meta about this for months, but I've not gotten it to ever gel properly, so I thought I'd share my thoughts more informally here.

COMICS SPOILERS AHEAD

Basically, there is something really weird about how women are treated in The Kindly Ones arc of The Sandman.

The semi-official guidebook "Sandman: King of Dreams" basically called The Kindly Ones a #GirlPower arc, but I don't find much particularly empowering about it. Lyta literally goes insane from the stress of being a single mother, albeit exacerbated by supernatural forces. Thessaly is a TERF bitch who serves the role of "spiteful ex" to the protagonist. Nuala is passive and sad and ultimately just pushed around by the whims of the men around her, and when she finally makes a choice of her own it kills the person she cared about. Rose's quarter-life crisis is miraculously "solved" by an unplanned pregnancy. Chantal and Zelda die of AIDS. Even the unstoppable Furies are ultimately a tool in a man's orchestrated suicide-by-magical-cop.

Maybe this is a leftover from when the books were written? Maybe this was the epitome of feminism in the 90s? Or maybe the guide was meaning that the women were powerful as in LITERALLY powerful...women sure do wield a lot of deadly strength and magic in this, even if none of them are particularly EMpowered, if you catch my meaning.

There's also layers as to how we're supposed to interpret this in relation to Morpheus, our doomed protagonist. I've written previously about how we might be intended to see him as an unsympathetic misogynist. If that's the case, then perhaps his doom at the hands of multiple female forces is supposed to be karmic and positive, no matter how questionable those women are. Support for this interpretation is the myth the old ladies (a manifestation of the Kindly Ones?) tell Rose, wherein a deceptive man who abuses and kills his wife meets a karmic comeuppance at the hands of his magically transformed daughters and resurrected wife.

There's also the fact that Overture reveals that Morpheus has MASSIVE issues with his mother. If one decides not to interpret Morpheus's death as a suicide, there is the possible alternate explanation that he frankly underestimated Lyta's threat level to him. Having never experienced a mother's unconditional love, he couldn't fathom that a mother could love her kid enough to literally go insane and kill gods over them.

But even as motherhood is a negative path to stress, insanity, and threatening the fabric of the universe, it's also VERY uncomfortably presented as a cure-all. Rose only gets her heart back by getting knocked up, and we're supposed to see Lyta's suggestion of an abortion as further continuance of Lyta's madness. But of all people, Lyta knows what she's talking about! She knows how difficult single motherhood is! She was going mad even before supernatural intervention... In fact, multiple sequences in The Kindly Ones make it ambiguous what elements are supernatural and what are just her mind interpreting mundane signs as godly while cracking under realistic stress!

This goes outside of the arc I chose to focus on, but I also can't help but contrast the two lesbian couples: Foxglove and Hazel vs. Chantal and Zelda. Foxglove and Hazel end up on the path of traditional motherhood, down to having to choose a child over a career, despite being lesbians! Meanwhile, Chantal and Zelda, as mentioned, die horribly of AIDS. The paths for women are motherhood, tragedy, madness, or some combination thereof.

I'd almost say that the ultimate message of The Kindly Ones regarding women is "no matter what type of woman you are, things will go horribly for you, you cannot win, and no matter what you are at the whim of a violent patriarchal system. The closest you can come to 'winning' is unfortunately by playing into the male-POV fantasy of devoted motherhood." But. like. that was DEFINITELY NOT THE INTENDED WRITTEN MESSAGE. BUT THAT IS THE MESSAGE THAT RESULTS.

Forget asking if Morpheus is a misogynist, the NARRATIVE ITSELF of The Kindly Ones pushes misogyny more than any individual character does!

tagging those who I know like discussing/reading meta:

@serenityspiral @orionsangel86 @violetoftheendless @duckland @notallsandmen

[barefoot-inthewildestwinter]

Make your tea and your toast (part 2)

A/N: I am so sorry for the delay. I moved for/started grad school and I hadn't set up internet yet so writing kind of took a back seat! I plan to update much more frequently though. Any feedback is much appreciated!

Title: Make your tea and your toast

Summary: If he played his cards close to his chest, she never picked hers up. Emily's past slowly catches up to her and he realizes just how little he knows about her.

Word count: 10k

Ratings: Mature, eventually

Warnings: Mentions of child abuse, SA, abortion, pregnancy and teen pregnancy, and violence.

February 2007

Quantico, VA

It’s 4:15 on Friday when he glances down and spots the crowd gathering at her desk. She’s gotten up from the heaps of files she’d been pouring over all day. The pads of her long fingers brushing wrinkles out of the blue fabric of her dress. She looks like a painting from where he’s sitting. Rays of sunlight from the windows in the unit all converged on her, giving her a warm, glowy aura. She was talking to someone. He wouldn’t be able to tell anyone who it was, blame it on the light. It was irrelevant. Her contagious smile had burst into laughter, silky hair bouncing across her shoulders as she moved. He could tell that she was passing out muffins to anyone that wandered into her eyesight. Asking about their weekend plans, about their families, trying to force more baked goods into their arms as they headed towards the door. 

He thought back to a couple of weeks ago. That night when he saw her blink for the first time.

Later on, he would realize she hadn’t blinked. In fact, she really hadn’t deviated from her usual manner. The only real intel on her that he had gathered from that was that she was passionate about their work. Particularly so when dealing with women who had been victimized by career psychopaths. She understood the feelings of helplessness that plagued cases. And perhaps the most revealing, she had a bit of a sleeping problem. Apart from her outfit, she had remained professional. Or rather, she remained heavily guarded, not budging an inch even in what he thought was a moment of weakness for her. What he thought was a blink wasn’t even a scratch on the surface of her. 

Though, something had certainly changed; she had shown him genuine trust beyond the minimum amount required to demonstrate her respect for his authority while also maintaining the safety of their team. Enough to take him up on his offer for solace and enough to challenge his wonted reasoning for tolerating failure in their casework.  She had even trusted him enough to allow him into her room to make sure she got some rest. 

They hadn’t spoken about that night in Nevada since it happened. Though, as Reid noted, he had been more attentive to her on the flight back to Virginia than usual. Bringing her a mug of his chamomile tea before take off and checking in with her periodically. 

It had been a week of busy work for them. Mostly tying up loose ends on previous cases, finishing case reports and a couple of individual client consults for Gideon and himself.  Leaned up against her desk, JJ is the first one to ask Prentiss what she’ll be doing this weekend. Back to him, her plans remain a mystery. Whatever her answer is, it clearly doesn’t satisfy JJ, who scowls lightly and shifts her weight to stand up straighter. He moves closer to the doorway of his office, hoping to glean details of the conversation below without arousing much suspicion. 

“We’re getting drinks this weekend,” she states, pushing loose hair over her shoulder. “And you have to come.” Her legs cross as she slides herself up onto the only free space on the desk. As if something in JJ’s words had summoned her out of her office, Garcia skipped over to the bullpen. Perching herself on Morgan’s desk, dangling her heels into the empty chair, her foot maneuvering the armrests to swivel back and forth. 

Prentiss sits down in her own chair. “We?” Her lips hang open, anticipating a quick response. He wonders if she’s asking because she hopes that he won’t be there. 

“Everyone. Me, Penelope, the team...”

 “Are you talking about this weekend? At Dubs?” Garcia interjects before Prentiss can press for further information. “Oh please come. On Sunday, after the Super Bowl, we do this every year.” She shifts her focus between the two women as they rehash the events of the previous year’s night out, arms crossed. She doesn’t appear unhappy. Just less happy than he would think her to be, given that she is often one to push for them to meet outside of the BAU. “Last year, JJ was four sheets to the wind and a couple of DC unis had to bring her home.” JJ’s eyes widen as she lunges to smack Garcia with one of Prentiss’ lighter files. 

“In my defense, the Steelers won and I grew up in a town where watching football is another form of going to church.”

“I didn’t realize you were all such big football fans.” Her question comes out as a statement, indicating that perhaps she was not one. JJ shakes her head. “Oh no, definitely not. JJ is, you could probably tell by now. Derek is, obviously, and I like to see brawny men in tights under almost any circumstance.” Prentiss and JJ share an awkward laugh. “The rest of us just passively watch the Super Bowl. It’s like a trainwreck, you know, you just can’t look away.” 

“Even Hotch is coming,” JJ offers. He smirks at this statement, not entirely sure why. Surely her answer will be ‘No’ now. “I remember him saying that Haley would be coming as well.” 

He can see her shoulders fall, releasing tension he hadn’t seen her carry. Her glowy smile returned to her lips. “Oh, good, you know, I cannot picture Gideon in a D.C. bar right now, but I am very intrigued.”

Penelope snorts a laugh back. “Yeah, neither can I.” She leans in briefly, lowering her voice half an octave. “He usually doesn’t take us up on our offers, I kind of wish he would just once though.”

“Oh, JJ. I would pay to see Gideon drunk. Maybe even just to see him have a cosmo.” After a few minutes of chatter, JJ gets up off of the desk and straightens out her blazer. “So, Emily, you’ll go with us?” He sees her nod, “Oh, definitely. What bar is it again?”

“The Auld Dubliner over in DC, everyone calls it Dubs.”  Prentiss nods, attempting to write down the name and location on a notepad against her thigh. “It’s okay, I’ll text you the address and the time we’ll probably mostly get there at.” JJ walks off, giving the desk some of its space back. He turns to go back to the files on his desk, her questions to Garcia about the dress code just within earshot. Given her upbringing, he’s sure that she is perfectly capable of choosing an appropriate outfit for any situation on her own, but he admires her attempt to win points with Garcia through fashion advice. 

At five he’d cleared his desk of open files, briefcase sitting in his chair. He’s rummaging through his coat pockets for his keys when she sneaks in. Avoiding starting a conversation with him through casual eye contact, she places three files in his inbox. Through pursed lips, she explains, “Missoula, Ann Arbor, Omaha.” He nods, the gesture freeing her to slip towards his door as quickly as she had entered through it.

“Prentiss?” he calls after her, stopping her in her tracks before she reaches the doorway. She turns on her heels to face him once more. “Yes, sir?” This time she holds her head up, allowing their eyes to meet. He detects a twinge of panic in hers. He sizes her up, noticing her nails press into her palms against the blue fabric on her dress. “Have I done something to upset you?” Her presence immediately shifts, the dark, glowy aura morphing into an apologetic one matching the blue of her dress. She shakes her head. “No, sir. You haven’t, really. I’m sorry if I gave you that impression.” 

He takes a moment to look her over once more, analyzing the statement beyond her words. He furrows his brows and shoots her a look, Be honest. When she doesn’t budge, he tests the waters. “I don’t mean to pry but you’ve been rather withdrawn since we came back from Golconda. If I’ve overstepped, you can tell me off.”

His relief comes when he hears her laugh sincerely. “No, it’s just me, cursing myself for making a fool of myself in front of my boss that night.” Now he’s the one shaking his head. “You did no such thing. I was put in charge of this team, I’m here for you all, for anything, anytime. Don’t tell Garcia I said that though, or she’ll try me at home more often with less remorse.” She cracks a smile, nodding in agreement. He grabs his briefcase from the seat and turns off the lamp, following her out. The unit is dim, empty aside from a couple of uniformed officers. 

“So you’ll be coming then, on Sunday?” They step into the elevator headed down to the garage. 

“Yeah, I think I will. Although the idea of potentially outing myself as a lightweight does frighten me.” They share a laugh. She looks down at her hands, twisting her thumbs.  “No, I am looking forward to it.” 

“Great, I know Haley was eager to formally meet you.” She grins at him and he can’t help but reflect it back.  The elevator stops at the first level, his stop. “See you Sunday.” He disappears behind a concrete wall. 

Her words echo through the building, “Have a good night, Hotch.” 

She hadn’t watched a minute of the game. Instead, her afternoon had been spent preparing to go out and cleaning her apartment. For a reason she couldn’t pinpoint, she felt nervous. Like she was back in high school, waiting for a date. Sure, she was still relatively new to the team, but she was in good standing with all of them. Enough to be comfortable hanging around them outside of the office. She slips on a top and some jeans, checking herself out in the mirror three times before leaving. She tosses her purse and go-bag in the passenger seat of her car before combing through her messages for an address from Garcia. 

The phone buzzes as she parks the car. The text is from Penelope; We r all here. Pretty please say ur coming soon? She replies, letting her know that she’d arrived. 

When she walks into the bar, Hotch is already sitting down, a half glass of beer left next to him. He’s wearing his brown sweater, the one he was wearing in Nevada when they last spoke. He looks relaxed, casual almost. 

“Sit, please.” His voice was softer than it had been a few days before. She obliges, hopping onto the barstool across from him. She takes this opportunity to survey the room. JJ in the back, shooting darts with two tall men she recognizes from Counterterrorism. Reid is sitting in a booth with a girl from Counterintelligence and two others she doesn’t know. He has a drink which shocks her a little bit. Morgan is leaning against another table, flirting with a couple of unsuspecting girls. 

“Hey, lady. You made it!” Garcia props herself up at their table, drink in hand, leaning into Prentiss’ side. He notices her tense lightly at the contact, biting her lower lip while briefly calculating her reply. 

“Hey, thanks for the address.”

“Yeah, no problem. You look hot by the way.” She’s wearing a silky top, no sleeves, leaving her arms bare. The neckline plunges, exposing more of her chest than she typically does at work. Her cheeks blush and he wonders if he’s been staring at her for too long. 

Penelope had only glanced at her for a second, causing Prentiss to realize that her friend had wandered over to her just to get a better view of Derek. Swirling her cocktail around with the mini straw, she is rapt. 

Emily takes a deep breath in, looking over at him, then her, then back at him. Are you seeing this? He gives her a half nod. “Yeah, you’re one to talk.” Their eyes remain locked and they share a frightened laugh when they hear her purr. 

“Okay, Penelope, I love you. But, I am going to need you to take your drooling somewhere else, babe.” Garcia relinquishes her hold on Prentiss’ arm, sneering as she moves to a seat at the table in front of them. Free to sit up untethered, she turns her attention back to Hotch. “How was the game?” He bares his teeth with a brief smile. “I have no idea.”  Glass to his lips he spies her raised brow and wild eyes teeming with curiosity. “We spent the day taking Jack to the Orchid exhibit at the Museum of Natural History,” he offers. He watches as she turns away to laugh into her shoulder. Tucking her hair behind both ears, her lips still parted when she faced him again. “Was that a joke, Hotchner?”

“No, of course not. We take our perennial flowers very seriously.”

 A small, blonde woman brushes his backside before pulling a stool up between them. She recognizes her immediately from pictures and from the few times she’s seen her  in his office. “Honey, the line for the bathroom was so not short.” He mumbles and observes as the two women acknowledge each other. An elbow to the ribs snaps him out of his thoughts. “Oh, I’m sorry. Prentiss, this is my wife, Haley. Haley, this is Agent Prentiss.” 

She shoots him a playfully annoyed look. “Emily, please. It’s so nice to finally meet you.”

“Yes, it’s nice to meet you as well. Aaron talks about you often, I’ve been hoping to get a chance before now.” The use of his first name forces her smirk. Aaron.

“All good things, I hope?” Haley nods eagerly. 

“What did I miss?” She turns to Hotch. He shifts on the stool to lean into her, pointing to their team as he speaks. “Well. Jennifer is still schooling those guys at darts. Spencer is dissecting episodes of Star Trek, I think. Derek is…” They all glance over to him. “Well, Derek is in a good mood, he’s from Chicago. And Penelope may be too far gone.”

“No Jason?” Haley asks, looking up at him. He shakes his head lightly. “He had a prior commitment.” She notices him distancing her from himself. Jason, Jennifer, Spencer, Derek, Penelope. She’s Agent Prentiss. It feels impersonal. Though she still is relatively new to the team, she didn’t feel that unfamiliar. Perhaps his way of storing her in his work life and not bringing her home. Had he not been the one to initiate their friendliness?

They chat, make small talk. He can tell that she’s pulling from her past. A childhood of masterminding conversational skills. The bottom of his empty glass hits the table. Haley’s voice right after pulls her down from the spiral. “Well, I could use a drink.”

She smiles, getting up from her stool. “I’ll go, what are you drinking?”

Hotch looks over at her, judging the tension in her voice. “Guiness?” 

“I’ll have an aperol spritz, thanks.” She nods and turns away from the couple. 

He watches her make her way back towards the bar, her top rides up slightly when she bends over the bar to shout their orders. He can see their orders on her lips as she gets the attention of the bartender. She orders another beer as well. He quickly averts his eyes, feeling heat rush to  his cheeks. 

“She seems nice. Very pretty.” His wife’s words bounce off of the side of his neck. In a hushed tone, he mutters a stern ‘Haley,’ his lips barely open to let the words out. "A bit puppyish though, don't you think?" He stares at the bottom of his empty glass. “She’s new to the team, still trying to fit in. Please don’t do this.” She keeps her calm tone, “I’m just saying. I feel better knowing you have something nice to look at while you’re away.” Her words are sharp but take them both by surprise. Reaching a level of seriousness, they laugh it off.

She beams on the way back, dodging Morgan and the girls that have adhered themselves to his sides,  and careful not to spill all three drinks. “Hey Morgan, be careful. The one in the back could take your wallet” He doesn’t even look back at her. “That's alright, I'd be a broke, happy man.” She smirks in disbelief. They grab at the drinks down on the table. Saying cheers and taking much needed sips. She notices them sitting closer together than they had been, but they weren’t being affectionate. An obvious change in the air. 

“So how are they treating you at the BAU,  Emily?” She looks up at Hotch, pleading for an answer or at least a clue. “She means, am I being nice to you?” He clarifies through the drink. She looks between them, something is definitely off. She feels like an outsider but is somehow also too close to them at this moment. “Actually, everyone has been incredibly nice.” She bites her lower lip and plays with her watch. 

“Look at him move, he's like a cat,” Penelope’s words overshadow the awkwardness. 

Grateful to shift attention away from herself, she comments back, “More like a dog.”

“He did not ask them to dance, they asked him.” She laughs big at her friend’s dedication to watching Morgan grind up on strangers. She stifles her laughter. “Okay, okay. He's a cat,” she concedes. 

Haley leans into her, shouting over the music and chatter, “An alley cat.” 

“Come on, honey. Let's show them how it's done.” She stares at them as he takes Haley’s hand and pulls her towards the floor. “Oh, that is so sweet.” She promises Penelope that she’ll watch her drink  and guard her front row seat to Derek’s show, but her focus is elsewhere. Her eyes are glued further back though. Watching her boss dance with his wife. It’s obvious to her, and probably anyone else, that they are highschool sweethearts. He is so unwound around her, softer than he had been to her in Nevada by miles. She wonders how difficult it is for him to move between his lives.

In the corner of her eye, she spots JJ on the phone headed for the door, head down. When JJ comes back in, she shoots her a glance from the entrance. They have a case. She sighs and shrugs back, getting up to notify the others. 

When she gets to them, they already know. They meet her halfway, holding hands. “Party’s over?” Haley asks. Prentiss says yes, it’s urgent. “Of course. Um, honey, we drove here together.” 

“Oh, that’s right.” 

She bites her lip again, trying to refrain from overstepping. “JJ has a full car, but I can drive you to Quantico. If that’s okay.” He looks to Haley for approval. “Are you sure you can get home safe?” She nods. 

Prentiss notes the surprise in his words. As if he wasn’t expecting this reaction from his wife. Haley takes the keys from his hand, “Go on then.” She almost apologizes for stealing him away for a case, but she can tell Haley is used to it.

She looks down at her wedges when they kiss goodbye. 

When they arrive back at the BAU, they pile into the briefing room. “Coffee. Everyone.” It’s an order. They’re all giddy with laughter, if not from their own drinking, then a second-hand intoxication. They listen to Morgan brag about his conquests and watch Reid shrivel away in response to some of the details. 

He can’t help but fixate on her as she sips her coffee, gently clutching the mug in her palms. When she speaks, he feels clear-headed, the fear flushing out of his system with the alcohol. She’s still in her top, scrunching her nose as she laughs at Morgan, which cracks his poker face into a shy grin.

When Gideon and JJ enter, it’s game time. JJ presents the case. A homicide. A young, wealthy, white couple in Atlanta. Police were called to the scene by one of the unsubs before the crime was being committed. She’s zoned in, inquiring about the police response time. It had been just under five minutes.  

For a moment, he ponders the differences in their affect. Gideon, frustrated with the reason for them being called in, desperate for any and all information he can use to end it. JJ, justifiably upset that another night off has been sacrificed for a brutal criminal. Prentiss, pushing aside her personal sentiments in order to devote her full mind to the case. They all appear determined, yet they carry it so differently. 

Despite her tenacity, he catches her flinch at the mentions of sinners and religious material. He doesn’t have time to read into that now, trying to assess what they are about to step into. They’re on the jet within the hour. 

She’s changed into a button-up and blazer. They pour over the little information they have on the ride. Hotch pre-assigns them to responsibilities, giving them a chance to catch their breaths and to prepare for anything they may find. One thing is clear, they need to be prepared for a change in course. He dispatches her to the morgue to examine the bodies of the victims. She’s not as squeamish as Morgan or JJ, usually okay with this sort of thing. He’s also witnessed her insightfulness, understanding the most reasonable questions to ask the medical examiner and being able to read the body forensically.

When they all reconvene at the station, they present the information they’d gathered . She shares the details she’d obtained from the coroner. The killings were similar to that of animal slaughter consistent with knowledge of farming or hunting. Not abnormal for rural Georgia, but it was something. They note that the killings are efficient, sacrificial. 

He watches her scrawl the most important details from their words on the whiteboard. Her hair falling below her shoulders as she writes.  Gun and holster clinging to her hip, pushing her blazer aside. They discuss the religious aspect. 

He’s just sent JJ and Reid to go talk to a witness when word comes of more victims, sending the rest of them to the scene. Detective Faraday  explains that this scene is different. The victim doesn’t live in the house, he is a handy man. The husband is alive and out of town and the wife is missing. As Gideon mentions infidelity to Hotch, Prentiss pushes through the crowd to get to the body. Morgan follows close behind.  If adultery is the sin the unsubs are claiming here, she’s not sure there’s a happy ending for Mrs. Douglas. 

They head back downstairs to confirm the presence of the camera. A uniformed officer confirms the location of the husband, asking them if they want him brought in for questioning. Gideon shakes his head. “It would be a waste of time. He didn’t do this, and from the looks of it, he probably wouldn’t be able to help us find her.” He steps aside to examine the passage left for them. 

“Prentiss, Morgan,” Hotch calls, head gesturing to the door. He stumbles out the door and they throw their gloves out in the evidence bags. Needing some space from the full house, he pulls them onto the front lawn. “So, let's work this out, what does this new behavior tell us?” His words are gentle but he’s looking at her with urgency. 

Staring back at him, she supplies him with a response. “There was only one unsub this time, uh Raphael alone?” His arms are crossed, not satisfied with her answer, but not upset at her. “Not if he’s the psychotic, he wouldn’t be capable of operating this efficiently.” She agrees, nodding once. “Someone was here who could control himself. Make sure no evidence is left behind.” He keeps his eyes on her, searching for emotion behind her sunglasses. She gives him nothing, maintaining composure and intent on finding the wife.  

Derek highlights the necessity of the phone call for the unsubs, part of the signature. It’s something they are all thinking, but neglect to mention out loud, closing themselves off. He shifts to Morgan. “Have we ever seen this in case history?” Derek says no, explaining the inconsistency between restraint and psychosis. She concurs, “People with extreme psychosis don't often play well with others.” 

He’s certain they’re dealing with one unsub. Gideon rejoins them.  Raphael doesn’t exist, he says, “He’s  an archangel. We’re still not sure about the third voice.” He explains that the unsub sees Mrs. Douglas as Jezebel, an unpleasant death is in her future if it hasn’t already occurred. 

On the drive back into the station, Gideon and Morgan dive into the implications of the themes of sinning. Gideon occasionally gets lost in thought and zoning out for a mile. “Have any of you been trying to reach Garcia?" 

“I tried as we were leaving. I tried JJ as well. Prentiss, you said that you weren’t getting any signal like ten minutes back, right?” Morgan looks to the woman on his right, she gives them all a tired response. “Mm? Oh, yes. Still nothing.”

He gets her in the rear view mirror, staring out the window, biting her lower lip like she had in Nevada. Her eyes glued to the car’s roof, holding back at least one sarcastic comment. He hadn’t seen the case getting to her. He paused to consider that he had seen almost nothing to suggest that it was the case. They hadn’t stopped to rest since their night out and she hadn’t napped on the jet. Morgan and Gideon had been reciting Bible verses back and forth across her for the past hour. And they had piled into one car, none of them smelling particularly great. Well, she smells great, but that isn’t unusual. He knows she has a few scents that she circulates through, all lovely, but all very expensive. Today, she smells sweet like honey and juniper. He holds onto that as they head towards Atlanta.

Back at the station, Morgan confirms that Garcia is running voice analysis on the phone call for the third voice. When she finally gets a hold of them, she tells them a new video has been posted, and it’s already gone viral. This doesn’t fall lightly on any of them.

“Garcia, can you get this on our screens?” Hotch requests with such delicateness, she would even call it a plea. “Already on it, sir” They hear her gasp, assuming she has just accessed it herself. “Oh my sweet… No, no, no.” Looking at the faces of her colleagues, they are visibly hurt by Garcia’s reaction, remorseful that she had to see it. She sits in the bullpen, pulling up the video they were just sent. He follows suit, standing behind her, a bit surprised at her initiative to step up to ensure they stay on task. 

On the screen, this video is worse than they imagined. The unsub is reading from the bible. Mrs. Douglas tied up behind him, being ripped apart by three dogs. Prentiss is sitting at the desk, full view of the screen,Faraday sitting next to her, far enough away to be able to not look at the full screen. Morgan keeps his distance, but above her, Hotch and Gideon lean in. “Jezebel’s death.” 

On the screen, Hotch can see their reflections in front of the video. A look of disgust or shock on all their faces. Not her, she just looks bemused. “My god.” Her voice is steady. She hasn’t looked away, her frown flashes across the monitor.. Gideon and Morgan avert their gaze. Hotch has one hand firm on the back of her chair. “You can turn it off,”he tells her. Faraday grabs her wrist before she can close out. “Wait.” 

Derek recedes further back. “You haven't seen enough?”

He shakes head, moving closer to Prentiss and the screen, causing her to slide to the back of her chair. She can feel him standing over her, a protective hand on the back of her chair. “Those dogs. Those three dogs attacked someone a couple of months ago.” All eyes are on Faraday now. “I would've had them impounded, but the victim knew the owner, a neighbor. He didn't want to press charges.” Gideon lifts his head up, voice deep and shaky. “ You sure?” Faraday continues, proud of himself for recognizing them.  “As God is my witness.” He reaches for one of the notepads on the cluttered desk, flipping through the pages frantically. “Three mangy mixes, I knew those dogs looked sick. Called animal control, I don’t know if they ever followed up. Oh here it is.”

The owner is a man named Tobias Henkel. 

Prentiss looks up at the men towering over her, locking her wide eyes with Hotch’s. “We sent JJ and Reid to go talk to him hours ago.” They don’t know what to say, words stuck in their throats. She takes out her phone. “I’ve been calling them all afternoon, they haven’t picked up, there’s probably not any service out there.” She calls JJ again, letting the stark dialing tone ring. They stay put in their shock as she grabs her bag and files. “Henkel is pretty far out there?” She glances at Faraday just long enough to see him nod. “Okay, uh… We’ll need at least four unis, you all know the area better than we do… and vests. We’ve seen some of what this man is capable of. He’s in a state of psychosis, we don’t want to rush him to another victim. We won’t know until we get there, but if he has JJ and Reid, we need to proceed with extreme caution.” She’s halfway to the car before realizing that no one is behind her. She finds his deep, brown eyes again. He’s berating himself for sending their teammates to danger, he can tell. Come on, she begs him. We have to go. Now.  

“Alright, everyone. You heard Agent Prentiss.” He follows her out to the cars, grateful for her presence of mind while his was blank.

They’re beyond speeding to get to Henkel’s ranch, the sun long gone by the time they get there. Faraday directs them, Gideon and Hotch to the house, she’s going with Morgan to the barn out back. 

They slide into the barn, guns drawn, each taking a wall to move down. Their flashlights catch something. Henkel’s dogs on their sides, each with at least one gunshot.  Morgan keeps going but pauses at the next stall down. His light refracted on the blood and pink organs spilling over onto the barn floor. “Damn.”

Prentiss is walking over to see what he’s fixated on when a voice calls out behind her, hearing a familiar click she knows is from a gun. “FBI. Don’t move.” It’s  JJ. She looks distressed, her hair down, gun out,  aimed straight at them. Prentiss identifies the desperation and panic in her eyes. She’s in survival mode. 

“JJ stop. JJ, down, it’s Morgan and Prentiss. Don’t shoot, it’s okay.” His voice commands and she lowers her weapon. “Are you hurt?” Prentiss moves close to her, grabbing the gun from her hand and using her free arm to stabilize her. JJ’s voice is flat, all of her characteristic pep drained from her hours ago. “Tobias Henkel is the unsub.” 

Morgan sighs, “Yeah, we know.” An officer runs back out to call an ambulance. 

“I mean, we just thought he was a witness,” adjusting her belt, she shakes her head in denial. They look at the dogs among their feet. “I had to kill them,” she says, still not making eye contact.

“JJ, where’s Reid?” She ignores him, rambling on, riddled with disgust at the depravity. “They just completely tore her apart. There's nothing even left.” Morgan steps back, attempting to stifle his frustration with her.

Prentiss takes stock before approaching JJ with focus and authority. Her words cut clear, striking a balance between using kid’s gloves and interrogation tactics. “JJ, look at me. Look at me, where’s Reid?” She shepherds the conversation, leaving no room for JJ to veer off course. “Uh, we split up. He said he was gonna go around back.” Morgan doesn’t miss a beat, leaving them in the barn. “Where are Gideon and Hotch?” 

Prentiss is checking her for signs of injuries. “They’re checking the main house.” Sirens in the background draw her eyes up. She wraps an arm behind her, “Let’s get you out of here, Jayje.” They stumble over to the bus. Prentiss hands JJ off to the EMT rushing to meet them, pulling Faraday aside. Under her breath she asks him to keep an eye on her, he nods. 

Nothing from the men yet, she tries Garcia for a possible trace on Reid’s cell. No signal. She wanders back over to the barn, hoping to at least learn something from the tools Henkel has out there. She’s three steps in, eyes on the dogs again, then she’s called back out. “Agent Prentiss? Agent Jareau is asking for you.”

 She bites her lip hard again and tastes the salty blood flush her teeth. The request makes her feel boxed in. She wants to be able to stay with JJ, her friend, who has been incredibly kind to her since she joined the unit. Her friend who has clearly gone through a trauma and is justifiably not okay. But they also have a case to solve. One involving a deranged psychopath killer who likely has one of their agents. She checks in with Faraday before talking to JJ. “Hey, Is there any sign of him yet?”

It's raining now. She feels the sweat rinse off her cheeks. Under his hat, Faraday shakes his head at her. “We got every one of our units on the road.” She nods, giving some semblance of a response. “He won't make it far.” She knows that isn’t certain.

“They can't find Reid?” She gets closer to JJ, who is sitting in the entrance to  the ambulance, legs dangling off the back. “Not yet.” She smiles slightly, not wanting to provoke her in any way, or trigger her guilt about losing sight of Reid. Her busted lip throbs as it brushes against her teeth. 

“Prentiss.” Morgan calls her away from the paramedics, spotting JJ still half-gone, wrapped in emergency blankets and one of the officer’s coats. He lowers his voice, “I think Reid fled into the cornfield,” he gestures his head to the area behind the barn. “Looks like somebody got dragged.” Fuck, she looks back at him, aware that they both can tell how bad this may be. 

A deputy informs them that a neighboring county’s sheriff reported giving directions to a man who fit Henkels description to a motor inn in Fort Bend. 

Hotch and Gideon appear from the back of the building, neither looking any less frustrated. “JJ okay?” He asks, waiting for one of them to nod back. “Henkel’s long gone. No sign of Reid. I doubt he was ever in the house.” Gideon rubs the tension in his face around with his hands. Hotch looks at her, sensing information missing from their recap. “One of the unis got a message that a man fitting Henkel’s physical and vehicular description asked for directions to a motor inn in Fort Bend. They’re sending two cars.” She tells him.

“Good.”

Behind her, Morgan is forcefully kicking his boots into a bale of hay. “Shouldn’t we go after them as well?” He asks, looking at Hotch only for instruction.

“No, no, let them handle it. It’s likely a diversion. Henkel's too smart to leave a trace like that. The house is a time capsule, we should go through it. If Henkel has barely left in 10 years, there's gotta be something in here of use to us. Something to help us find Reid.” He watches her response to his words. She nods and then clears her throat. “I’m going to finish documenting the situation in the barn.” She’s twisting her watch around her wrist. 

Morgan prevents her from leaving with the back of his hand. “Wait, Prentiss, hold up. Do you want me to come with you? You shouldn’t be going in there alone.” She brushes past him without hesitation. Hotch evaluates the disturbance in Morgan’s intervention. He can only imagine what they had walked into. 

“I’ll be fine, Derek. Henkel’s gone, it’s not like he’s going to be there. We need to get this over with so we can turn it over to local CSI. I really don’t mind.” Knowing there’s no use in arguing with her, the three men watch her as she turns and jogs back to the barn. 

There are still two officers posted by the entrance. From their demeanor, she can tell that they can't bring themselves to step inside. She flashes them a sympathetic grin and steps into the open barn. The air is crisp with chill and freedom. Her eyes dart over to the dogs once more, teeth digging into her busted lip at the thought of JJ firing her weapon at them. This time, she does get a very good look at what Morgan had been so upset at. Organs splayed out in a pool of blood. Obviously human, and obviously fresh given the coloring. Nothing had been left. Fuck this. 

“Prentiss?”

She hadn’t heard his footsteps on the ground approaching, but she did feel them coming up behind her. When he doesn’t say anything more, she figures he’s probably just as disturbed by the scene as Morgan had been. She turns to face him. “Hotchner, I was under the impression that we’d addressed your inability to walk up to someone without acting like a lowlife.” Her words are an attempt to lighten the obvious heaviness in the air. She searches his face for signs that anything she was saying was getting through to him. His eyes narrowed, trained on the depravity beyond her, face all blank and serious. ”Hotch?” 

“Right. Right, sorry.” his expression breaks, revealing a more troubled look. His feet are still planted. 

“No, it’s okay,” she offers. “I’m just sorry you had to see this.”  She gestures behind her hips, flashing soft eyes at him. “I thought you’d be waiting outside. I’ll just need another minute or two, but I am really fine staying here alone.”

Hotch nods.  I know , he concedes. Let me stay anyway. Emily sends him a small grin of acceptance.  She turns back to the stall, snapping pictures on the team’s digital camera from a few angles. “I knew it was bad when Derek was offering to chaperone you, and I figured I’d come check on you when he wouldn’t say anything else.”

“Oh, you didn’t think that was a shot at my sensitivity?” He catches himself almost letting out a laugh. She is nothing if not witty, even at the most inappropriate of times. “Jezebel’s death,” she scoffs, dropping the camera to her hip. “No one deserves that . I mean what is the game here? Find a woman, use her as a pawn in your sick, sacrificial, religious game? It’s beyond sick.” The adrenaline rushed through her forcing words to spill out from her lips. Through her rambling, she pauses to bite her lip and play with her hair and she doesn’t break. Her tone is stern and headstrong, but not emotional. 

He finds her dedicated obsession charming, but he’s smart enough to know that it’s best that he stops her spiral before it goes too far. “Let’s get out of here. I’ll let the officers know.” They move quickly, the breeze hitting their skin as they find the doorway. She pulls him aside before they’re near the others. “So, what’s the plan?”

“Not entirely sure. Officers couldn’t find any sign of them in Fort Bend, we were right to assume it was a misdirection. Henkel’s computer setup is much more intense than we’d expected. I’m bringing in Garcia first thing tomorrow morning.” She nods. “We should get JJ some rest,” he looks over at their friend, still in the middle of a huddle of first responders at the back of the ambulance. 

“We’ll get more done if we stay at the house. That way we can keep an eye on her and keep working. She shouldn’t be alone right now.” She spots a glimpse of fear in his eyes. “Reid is smart. He can hold his own, he’ll be alright.” 

By the time they convince JJ to take the sofa, it’s past 1:00. Morgan is already out on the floor beneath her. She’s alone at the dining room table, pouring over Henkel’s diaries. She’s holding them closer to her face, undeterred by the poor lighting. When he sets a mug down by her wrist he witnesses her real smile for the first time in days. “Coffee?” She beams.   

“No, it’s chamomile, sorry to disappoint. You have a serious problem.” He sits in the chair beside her, a mug of his own held away from the stack of journals between them. Her smile slips into an offended glare. “Oh, I’m sorry. Did you want milk or honey?” Her brow furrows, deeping her glare, he laughs.

“I wanted coffee. You don’t get to deprive me of feeling joy just because this case is a living nightmare.”

He sips his tea slowly. “I don’t believe anyone else could fault me for denying an obsessive insomniac caffeine at this hour. So yes, this definitely qualifies as a problem, Prentiss.” She scowls and shakes her head, returning to the journals. “You know, they put up cots in the upstairs landing, if you claim one now, you could get at least a couple hours before everyone starts back up in the morning.” He’s tiptoeing. 

“Forget it, Hotch. I am so not sleeping tonight.” She drops her wrist, revealing her whole face. Her cheeks flushed. “Hey, did Haley get home okay the other night? Have you even spoken to her and Jack since we left?” He feels his smile fade. 

“I called her from the jet when we landed and again a couple hours ago. They were already asleep, I left a voicemail.”

Her fingers wrap around the mug in front of her, staring down into hot tea. “Do you ever feel bad?” She rephrases,  “Doesn’t it bother you, not being home, missing all of the ‘Goodnights’?”

He swallows a mouthful of tea. “Of course it does. But when I’m away on a case, I have to be able to set personal troubles aside. When we’re home, I’m there for Jack's bedtime and I call when we’re away. He’s only one, but I’d like to think the effort means something above abandonment to him. I don’t have it down to a science.” He lifts the porcelain mug to his lips, disappointed to find it empty. “I value priorities, but I can’t live with the idea of Jack growing up thinking that I’ll always put work above him. I don’t know, maybe we’re doomed to inherit things from our parents that we swore we’d be better than.” Her face falls down to the ugly linen placemats, trying to appear unaffected by his statements. He considers the opinions on politics she’d hurled at him in her first month in the unit and the time he’d spent in her mother’s office fourteen years ago. “Emily, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to imply anything.” She shrugs him off. 

“I know, there’s nothing to imply anyway. Ambassador Elizabeth Prentiss is an impressive woman, but she is also my mother.” He narrows his eyes, That wasn’t really an answer. “Besides Hotch, you care enough to try, that’s not worth nothing. You should get some sleep though, it’s been a long day and you’ve got to get Garcia early.” He’s still studying her when she returns to the diaries a minute later. 

She’s right, he should have gone to bed hours ago. He forces himself up to find a cot to fall onto. “Goodnight. At least try to sleep for once.”

Garcia had spent almost every second since she’d arrived in the computer room, but Prentiss and Gideon were in deep. They spend the day moving through the house, combing through milk crates and shelves full of diaries. They don’t speak often, only when necessary.

“Hey,” she perks up. “I have got a list of Narcotics Anonymous meetings with someone’s name and numbers on it, but it looks to be about 12 years old.” Her voice falls.

“Try it. There are no bad leads.” He peels away at the wallpaper revealing words written over and over, recitation punishment. “Is that latin?” She knows that it is. “Honor thy father.” 

They head down to consult with the others. “Go on ahead, I’ll get JJ.” Behind the ajar bathroom door, she hears the faucet run. Her knock on the inside of the door is met with a gun drawn at chest height. “Hey, hey, hey, JJ. It’s me.”  Her stern voice is enough to get her to lower the weapon. “Are you alright?”

“Uh yeah, I'm sorry you scared me.” Her voice is shaky and she won’t make eye contact

.

Recognizing her friend’s jumpiness, she apologizes. “I'm sorry. I'm talking tomorrow morning to some guy who knew Henkel from Narcotics Anonymous. Why don't you come with me, get out of the house?” JJ agrees. “Okay, great.” She walks away to give her some space and privacy to tend to her wounds.

“Emily?”

“Yeah?” Prentiss turns back to find JJ close in front of her.

“How come none of this gets to you?”

She puts confusion in her brows. “What do you mean?” Maybe if she buys enough time, she can change the subject.

“You came off a desk job. Now suddenly, you're in the field surrounded by mutilated bodies and you don't even flinch.” She feels Hotch come up behind her again. Now she’s definitely trapped. 

“She's right,” his quiet voice pulls her to face him. “You’ve never blinked.” He’s close, too close. 

“I guess maybe I compartmentalize better than most people.” She answers only him. Their gazes locked, each searching for hints in the other’s eyes. Another bad answer , he prods. She shoots back, Please, don’t do this.

Before he can unpack her answer, his thoughts are interrupted by Morgan. “Hey guys, I think I got something.” She exhales briefly before chasing them out back. 

They wait for the coroner to retrieve Henkel’s father before heading back in. Tonight, she heads straight for the cots, avoiding niceties. She can see him following her in her periphery, but before he can speak she lies down with her back to him and stares at the wall.

They spend the next day learning more about Tobias, not getting any closer to finding him and Reid. She and JJ had gone to meet with the NA contact that morning. They’d learned that Henkel’s father was extremely abusive, becoming especially violent after his mother left. She was discussing the significance of the intel with Hotch and Gideon when Morgan called them in for Garcia. They see Reid on the monitor screen, alive but tied to a chair in an empty room. 

Prentiss gets closer to Garcia, gasping hard when she sees the bruising on Reid. “He’s been beaten.” In the background she hears Gideon berating Penelope, unloading the guilt he feels for losing Reid onto her. Henkel is asking Reid to choose a victim. He knows they're watching them. 

Tobias’ growls boom across the livestream. “You really see inside men's minds. See these vermin, choose one to die, I'll let you choose one to live.” Reid’s voice is weak, they can barely hear it. “No,” he repeats as Henkel provokes him until he breaks. Tobias tells them the name and address of the woman on the screen, giving Gideon the chance to call and warn her. He instructs the woman to turn off the camera and she complies. 

In response, Henkel shuts off the camera giving them access to Reid without missing a beat. Morgan storms out, Garcia desperately attacks the keyboard, searching for some way to pull the view back up. Gideon, too dumbfounded to speak, staggered out into the hallway. 

There are two new victims within the hour. Slaughtered, same as the others. “I’ve got roadblocks out for a 15 mile radius. Every unit is on the road, but so far nothing.” They move through the scene with annoyance, identifying the new bible verse left for them by Henkel. Gideon tries to get a message to Reid through the Hayes’ video camera. 

The others finish combing through the scene but Hotch pulls Gideon aside. “We’re not getting any closer,” he confesses with a hint of worry that Gideon is virtually devoid of. Even he is not sure if he’s seeking reassurance or Gideon’s informed advice.  

“Reid’s brilliant, he'll figure out how to survive.”

It’s true, though it wasn’t the reassurance he was looking for. “You know,” he bites his lip. “I always take advantage of Reid for his brain, but I never teach him how to deal with things emotionally.”

Gideon isn’t paying him much attention, but offers his sympathy. “You lead by example.” He feels his stomach drop. “Well, what kind of example is that?”

Sensing enough insecurity in Hotch’s tone, Gideon lifts his head to face him. “He'll make it.”

On the drive back, he can’t help but run through his performance as unit chief. He’d like to think that he knows his team, that he matches their needs. But with Reid, it was delicate. He had taken advantage of him lately, especially with the pressure they were getting from Strauss. And then there was Prentiss. He was sure that he wasn’t giving her the support she deserved. She was beyond  holding her own in this case though something was off. It was as if she was too put together. 

While the rest of them had gotten cottonmouth watching Reid’s collapse and resuscitation, she had narrowed the radius of their location drastically. When Henkel pushes Reid to pick one of them to die, he can see her eyes pleading for him to choose her. Me , her lips purse. The prayers go unanswered and he hears his name escape from Reid’s mouth. “He’s a classic narcissist. He thinks he’s better than everyone else on the team. Genesis 23:4 ‘Let him not deceive himself in trust, in emptiness, vanity, falseness, and futility, for these shall be his recompense.”  She looks at him and their eyes meet again. That isn’t right she tells him, he sends a small nod to her and steps out into the hall. They all follow close behind. “I’m not a narcissist.” 

Gideon is the first to soothe his ego. “Oh come on look, you can’t take anything he says right now seriously.” They talk over each other briefly. 

“That’s not what I’m talking about–”  

“He's trying to identify with him-“ 

“No, no. Stop. Stop. Alright everybody right now, what’s my worst quality?” They look back at him, confused, mouths open. “Okay, I'll start, I have no sense of humor.”

JJ chimes in, “You're a bully.” He nods “ I’m a bully.”

“You can be a drill sergeant sometimes.” He’s heard this from Morgan many times over the years on nights out, it was starting to lose its effect on him. “Right.” He looks to Gideon for another response.

Prentiss beats him to it, “You don’t trust women as much as men.” The sentiment had clearly been brewing for some time. It’s a fair shot, he’ll give her that but it still stings him. Regardless, they have no time to address it now. 

“Okay, good. I'm all these things, but none of you said that i ever put myself above the team, because I don't. Ever. Reid and I argued about the definition of classic narcissism and he knew that I would remember that. He also quoted Genesis chapter 23 verse 4, read it.” He hands JJ the bible like he’s submitting it into evidence. 

“I am a stranger and a sojourner with you. Give me proper burial place among you that I may bury my dead out of my sight.”

Gidepn smirks with pride. He’s sending them a message. 

“He wouldn't get it wrong unless it was on purpose”

They quickly decode Reid’s message and identify his location. The moment they arrive at Marshall Plantation they check the cabin. “Clear.” “Clear.” They aren’t there, but they have been. 

They move through the woods on foot, guns drawn. A single shot leads them to Reid, leaning over Henkel. She follows Hotch hurrying to lift him up and steady his weight. She lets him take control. “Are you alright?”

Reid leans deeper into Hotch and she steps back. “ I knew you'd understand.” He wraps his arms around him. They all look on with adoration. She feels awkward as she watches him embrace JJ and then Morgan and Gideon. When he asks for a moment alone with Tobias, they oblige, walking a few yards back to the road. 

Medics on the scene advise them that Reid should be seen by doctors at the nearest hospital. He’s too drained to argue. They send him with JJ and Morgan, but Penelope, riddled with anxiety, tags along. 

“One more night in Georgia won’t kill us.” 

She lets out a shaky laugh, “It won’t, but we are definitely staying in a motel. I’ve spent as much time in Henkel’s life this week as I could possibly bare.” Gideon nods and they pile into the last SUV on the scene.

They’re sitting in the lot of the motel they’d driven past everyday in this case. Parked under the neon sign with the ‘NO’ burned out of the ‘No Vacancy’. Despite the rundown feel of the building, the parking lot was nearly full.  She wouldn’t complain though, they’d certainly stayed in worse places. Hotch has gone in to book the rooms, leaving her and Gideon to sit in tired silence. 

“You did good, kid.” He doesn’t look back to her. 

She stares at the back of his head. Unsure of his exact intentions, even with the compliment, she takes pause. “Oh, uh, really it was the team. Henkel faced a challenge to the beliefs he was indoctrinated with and suffered a psychotic break as a result. You had him nailed to the wall. I’m just glad to have Reid back with us.” She’s rambling too fast and she knows it. 

“Prentiss?”

“Yes, sir?”

“You did good work. Just take the compliment.” His words draw a smile out of her. 

“Right. Thank you, sir.”

Hotch comes back with a handful of room keys. “We’ve got five.”  Handing one to Gideon who takes it as an invitation to turn in. 

“Goodnight. Try not to stir up any more trouble.”

They both bid him goodnight and stifle chuckles  as he lightly jogs to his room. He turns back to her, lowering his tone. “I spoke to Derek. Reid looks much better than before, they’re pretty backed up at the emergency room but he should be discharged soon.” She breathes a sigh of relief. “We can figure out the rest of the arrangements when they get back. Reid can stay with me or Morgan and I figured Garcia would also want to stay with you or JJ.” 

“Excellent profiling skills, Agent Hotchner.” She grins and takes one of the remaining keys. “Truly astounding.”

She’s already headed towards the rooms when he jogs along to catch up with her. “Prentiss, wait.”

WIthout pause or looking back, she slows her pace and they walk side by side. “Yes, sir?”

He taps her forearm lightly, asking her to stop for a second so he can read her face. “This was a demanding case and you threw yourself into it, deep. I just want to know how you’re doing?”. 

He examines the crease in nose, her wide eyes, and the lines on her lips, something he’d gotten used to doing in the few months since he’d really accepted her as a member of his team. Waves of her hair tamed under the neckline of her FBI windbreaker. He certainly didn’t mind the challenge of studying her. She gives him nothing other than slight relief. “Oh, I’m fine, sir. Just really thankful that we were able to get Reid back.” JJ was right, Prentiss had come off a job with almost no field work. He made a mental note to look over her file again when they got back to Quantico. He’ll let it slide for now, he has enough to worry about with JJ and Reid and the inevitable lasting effects this will have on them. “I’m just going to shower. Are you turning in now?” 

He can’t be sure why she asks. “I’m going to get settled and then I’ll probably wait for the others out here.” Her key unlocks her door. 

“I think I’ll join you. The night is still young.”

Prentiss beats him out. Her hair now soaking and tied back but it glows under the streetlight. He finds her sitting on the bench in the courtyard, legs crossed and a heel dangling off the foot lifted in the air. He looks on as her outstretched arm retracts and she takes a drag from the cigarette between her fingers. 

He clears his throat. “Prentiss, it’s just me.” She gestures for him to sit and makes room for him.

When he lets the silence hang for a moment as he stares at her. “I know, I know. ‘These things will kill me.’”

He claims innocence, laughing at her sarcasm, lifting his hands to his chest briefly. He’s brushing the dirt and ash off of his brown jacket, “I wasn't going to say anything.” He looks up to tell her that smoking is in fact not good for her but is met with an offering to him. He shakes his head and she rolls her eyes back at him

It’s her time to size him up, her face softer than it had been in days. “I have to say, this whole ‘casual Hotch’ thing is very entertaining.”

“Don’t get used to it.”

“Hey, have  you spoken to Jack or Haley?” He looks tired. No, it’s late,  he says.  “Call them now.” She’s pushing him.

He pulls out his personal phone. To his surprise, she answers. “Oh, hi, Honey. No, no, everything is fine… We were able to get Spencer out safely. How are you? How is Jack? Did he go down easy? Oh no, I keep that in his crib… Oh, great. No, I’ll get it done… Saturday night, I got it. … I know it’s late, I just finally got away and I wanted to say Goodnight. Right, I’m sorry.”

She’s absorbing up the conversation with what could be considered admiration for him. Eyes fixed on his, and the twitch in his lip when he’s clearly annoyed. The background almost completely drowned out.

She’s pulled out of it by a concerned “Emily?” She bites at the loose skin near her lower lip. “What’s on your mind?”

“Do you think that people can just… be evil?” His brow furrows. “Do you believe that we are innately good? Or are some people just born evil, in need of saving?”

He thinks back to all of her casual shutters at the mention of sin, finding excuses to leave the room if possible. “Well, I think we’ve seen in this case that committing sin doesn’t equate to being evil.”

Emily lets out a shaky sigh. “Right, I know that, it’s just-” Her voice trails off into a pause and his concerned glare deepens.

They watch their second SUV drive up and hear the engine stop. They search for Reid, grateful to find him stable but not looking much better. The rest of their team was worn out. They meet halfway and Hotch hands them their room keys, Morgan and Reid, JJ and Garcia, they split off with half-hearted “Goodnight”s. 

“Goodnight, Hotch.”

“Goodnight, Emily.”

He watches her flash him a smile and vanish behind the motel door, leaving him alone in the cold.