#am i crying over them? it's possible | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

algrenion · 3 months

Text

the baby seagulls living on our rooftops are starting to leave the nest!! I’ve seen multiple from both sides of the buildings windows who are getting lessons from their parents how to walk and fly AS I TYPE THIS !!!!!!!!!

#my binoculars are OUT aND I AM WATCHING #will post vids/pics later if possible! I have to charge my phone first tho!#lil man I’m watching rn tried a few little wing exercises with its parent just now #and then got tuckered out and flipped over on the safe end of the roof !!!#mom/dad/theyther has been watching over them for half an hour now #lil mans is just flopping to and fro looking sleepy #he tried so hard #I’m crying a little dude #birdposting

213 notes · View notes

silusvesuius · 3 months

Text

nnnnnnnnnnnnno maa'am

#my want to draw traditionally literally split me open for the past week and leaves me literally depressed i'm so serious i can't even look -#- @ my art programs without wanting to throw up omfg should;ve never picked up those pencils #but it's ok i just needed a nap #something so relatable about them i think nelvas has something in it for everyone meanwhile eltl is secluded art museum.#it's very possible to walk around in neloth's and talvas' brains but eltl is off limits. they will NOT! get no drawings like this outta me #wtf r they thinking ........#< eltl not nelvas #something nobody on dis earth can understand ..........#talvas wants to live he likes living but neloth's presence is so strong that it overrides and deletes his will to live.#bruuuuuuuuh #i bet the feeling of neloff is in everything he does if they ever part ways he won't be able to fold clothes or anythign without wanting -#- 2 cry . for what reason . idk bc neloth once yelled at him for folding clothes like shit .what am i on rn #(talvas thoughts mode) I want this old man to hug meeee😢😢😢#NELOFF DO IT and smash him too before i do it first .#me and neloth are the same person tho so it doesn;t matter but w/e #i'm getting emotional over them right now this cannot be real #i love her .... (Skyr1m)#i opened the game for .5 minutes today to take pics of a character uight what a beautiful game.#Te/s having such extensive lore ruins the whole entire game and the franchise but whatever . skyr1m is an art piece that's just how i feel #also this might be a very hard pill to swallow for some people but t*lvas is literally a kin Vessel for young women that keep getting -#- hit on by men twice or thrice their age when they're just trying to live their life .#this feels so profound to me i need dis shit inmy discord bio right NOEW.#Talvas................................#(eyes watering) (holding palm out)#suicide //#just in case but this tag would've gone crazy with my drawings of ulfr*c from late 2022 where i drew him with slit wrists. very artsay #is it not. i didn't like neither of those drawings tho i need to revisit cus i can feel ulfr*c on a diffaraaant level #when will i run out of tags. the way you can tell i just LUH talvas look at me drawing his hair in that second pic 😑BRU #look at me also trying to replicate pencils digitally in the first.. hmmm i don't hate it #at least it soothes me and i don't have pencil withdrawal

141 notes · View notes

dollypopup · 4 months

Text

"Colin should have grovelled more!" "Penelope folded too easily"

I think statements like this typically come from people who like Penelope. . .but don't really understand her. And don't really understand just why she cares for Colin, and just why him groveling would not in any way bring her peace.

Penelope and Colin are kindred spirits in their loneliness, in season 3 more than any others. Penelope had lost her friendship with Eloise, and Colin didn't really have a close friend circle to begin with. Except with Pen. Pen was the person he could put the mask down for, could open up to, (in particular with their 'dreams' discussion) and that's why he couldn't even entertain the idea of giving up talking to her in Season 2. She is a vital part of his life, and holds so much significance and importance to him.

I imagine that's what made their silence over his travels especially painful for him. They spent such a long time talking after Season 1, and he even informs her that her letters were so encouraging, that it helped him heal something inside of himself. That if she could see him in a gentle way. . .so could he. (And he repays this, because he is honest to god out here acting and looking at her like she hung the moon in the sky). But without her presence in his life, he spiraled. Didn't feel confident in being who he is, and thus put on his persona more firmly. We know this because he wrote in his journal that "I want to be less needy, less insecure, while still maintaining the core of my vulnerability that makes me who I am". That he misses his family, that he misses home.

And we know, from the books, that Home? Home is Penelope. Penelope is his North Star, is his guiding force, and who I argue he feels he needs. In his very first scene, he looks toward her house, tries to find her in the window. When he does not, he returns to his family. In the outdoor gathering, he looks for her and finds her, eager to talk. He states aloud that he misses her, and I imagine he wrote it, too. Not hearing back from her over the course of his travels was surely something that hurt him, but he doesn't hold any ill will toward her for it, only wants to reconnect again. In fact, the one and only time he brings up how he misses her and that she didn't respond, she makes very clear the reason why: she heard what he said and it hurt her. And he's ashamed of it.

Colin hears her call him cruel, and instead of ruffling his feathers about it, instead of getting upset, instead of having a chip on his shoulder as I feel so many men would about it. . .he understands why she does so.

Penelope is a woman who has been largely treated poorly in her society. She feels unheard, she feels undesired, and in her circumstances, and I can't help but ask myself. . .has anyone ever truly apologized to Penelope for hurting her, before? Her mother? Her sisters? Eloise, likely, but. . .anyone else? And the way Colin did? Because of all the characters in the show, Colin? Colin knows how to apologize. He has a lot of practice in it. And very importantly: Colin, a man of privilege in his society, apologizes. . .predominately to women. To Marina, to his mother, and multiple times to Penelope.

Ultimately, Penelope wants to be heard, Penelope wants to be understood, Penelope wants to feel desired.

And Colin checks every single one of those boxes. He informs he is not who he was before, and then he proves it to her. He hears that he hurt her, and he comments on it directly. An entire night apart, and he comes back to her 'Because I embarrass you' with 'I am most certainly not ashamed of you', replies to her 'I am a laughingstock' with 'you are clever, and warm, and I am proud to call you my good friend'. He hears her proclaim her own insecurities, and empathizes so deeply with her. He listens. He understands. He makes clear that he cares for her, and that she *is* desired. 'You lift my spirits' 'I seek you out at every social assembly'. That she helps him see the world in ways he loves, that he sees HER and how much she has cared for HIM, that she makes him feel appreciated, that he appreciates her, in turn.

And then? Then? He shows her. He tells her, and he shows her. His actions all throughout Season 3 reinforce this apology. He continues looking for her in every corner of every ballroom, he continues complimenting her, he laughs at her jokes and respects her boundaries, he is ever so gentle with her, he listens to her with an attentiveness that no one else has ever given her. To Lady Whistledown? Sure. But to Penelope? Who else in the entirety of that ton has listened to Penelope the way Colin has?

Absolutely no one.

Penelope Featherington ghosts Colin Bridgerton for months with no explanation, and Colin comes back wanting to reach out to her, and she finally tells him why.

And he apologizes. Because he listens. Really, truly listens. And really truly cares.

I need you to understand how rare that is, even nowadays, but especially back then. That Colin is the kind of man who can put his hurt to the side and realize he made a mistake, that he said something callous, and he adores her, and he can't lose her, and he has to see her and make it right.

Because that's why Penelope fell for Colin. Not because he's beautiful, not for his charm, not for his family. But for his heart. Because he shows her kindness in a world that so often disregards her. Because he seeks her out and tries to understand her, truly hears what she has to say and compliments her, says he's sorry and looks at things from her perspective.

Because he saw her when she was invisible.

Penelope Featherington, who grew up in a house that made cruel jabs at her, has Colin Bridgerton come to her and say he regrets what he said, and that he was wrong, and that he understands why she's mad at him. Penelope Featherington who has so rarely had much of anyone tell her that they're sorry for what they said about her, sits before Colin Bridgerton as he professes how much she means to him. That he cannot even spend a full day away from her knowing they're on bad terms with each other without making it right. That he sees how she is hurting and he has to in any way he can amend it. She is lonely, with no one really in her corner at the start of season 3, and she feels like she lost it all, and Colin comes to her and says 'no, I'm here and I appreciate you and you are special to me, please let me in and let me prove it'. Is it any wonder why after she shakes his hand, she stands in the sun, and she feels the warmth of it, she can smile? That she can breathe, again? That she can be truly content for the first time in the season?

Because Penelope Featherington does not want Colin to beg. She knows him. She knows the tender, full heart he hides behind the new cavalier persona. She knows the soft underbelly of Colin Bridgerton.

He never had to grovel. All he had to do was love her. Assuredly. Fervently. Loudly. Unapologetically.

And he does.

#polin #penelope featherington #colin bridgerton #bridgerton #sorry y'all i just have a lot of feelings and i need to get them out like they invented love what am i meant to do witH THAT INFORMATION!?#they just care about each other so much and so deeply #and they see the best in each other #penelope was hurt but she never HATED him #penelope was hurt and when she said 'i never thought you of all people could be so cruel' she also knew. . .he isn't #he isn't cruel #he's a young man trying his best in the world and he wanted to fit in and that made him say something hurtful about her #but he has a history of uplifting her #and he continues to do so #not one bad word about penelope all this season #'you are penelope featherington. . .never forget that' (you deserve the world) (you are amazing)#colin bridgerton said 'i love you' over and over this season and in the seasons before but we didn't hear it because we thought #it was only professed in one language #'you really are very good you know that?' 'you only wanted to keep me from heartache' 'what could possibly measure up to all that?'#'that you would never forsake me' 'you are pen. . .you are my friend. . .you do not count' (i could never give you up)#'i will always look after you penelope'#they are friends to lovers but there is love in that friendship #a deep beautiful love they have with each other #and sorry i'm ugly crying but i just adore them

125 notes · View notes

idk-bruh-20 · 1 year

Text

Irondad fic ideas #137

Fic where Tony doesn't just use the time travel device to go into the past. Before even setting out on the heist, he uses it to travel into the future

He does this because, no matter what happens next, he's pretty sure he's not going to survive. He wants to see his daughter all grown up. He wants to see Peter again, see the kind of man he's become

Tony travels forward to some time after NWH. He witnesses what his death has done to his family, to the world. He learns that nobody remembers Peter, that the kid he's about to risk everything for is now all alone

Then, we have a few options!

For maximum angst:

While in the future, Tony speaks to Peter, who at first doesn't believe that he's real. They both get some kind of closure, with Tony finally getting to share how he loves Peter like a son. Then, they go their separate ways. Tony goes back to the past and follows through with his plan

Medium angst:

Same as the first option, but Tony also makes sure to fix some stuff while he's in the future! He reconnects Peter with Pepper, Morgan, Happy, Karen, and FRIDAY, gets the kid a proper suit, and so on

Happy ending:

After witnessing how bad everything is in the future, Tony alters his game plan for fighting Thanos. He does something to make sure that he will survive

Also, after his discussion with Peter, he's even more determined than ever to tell the kid how much he means to him. He can't let the kid keep stewing in insecurities and doubts

Combination!

Medium angst timeline happens, but then Tony also decides to fix things when he gets back to the present, creating a branch in the timelines!

#irondad fic ideas #tony after crying all over nwh!peter and doing everything he possibly can to comfort and help him #then returning to his own timeline like:#when you can do the things that I can and you don't-#irondad and spiderson #iron dad and spider son #tony stark #peter parker #ironfam #irondad fic idea #fic idea #queueueueue #weekly reminder that i love you all but am too busy to be human :)#fic ideas still postponed but you can send asks if you want i just won't see them for a while #see announcements

228 notes · View notes

flowercrowngods · 11 months

Text

always so funky to be reminded that your parents might love you but they don’t actually like you very much

#wasn’t i supposed to leave that feeling behind with puberty?#anyway mama decided i have no christmas wish #the sad little guy who can’t get nice things for themself also doesn’t get to ask for them now during the ‘ask for things’ time of the year #it’s not about christmas it’s not about material things it’s about looking me in the glassy eyes and asserting ‘you have no wish’#when wishing is all i ever do you just never create a space safe enough for me to voice them #blah #not st #i’m so so sorry that whining is all i ever do anymore and i shouldn’t be so sad about this over and over again #i’m just. so small. tiny. and insignificant. i might not have been there all day and 99% of the conversations would have happened the same #i wanna stop feeling this way but i think in order to stop feeling this way i need to stop wanting to be loved and seen and listened to #by my mom. and i don’t think it’s entirely human or possible to stop wanting that. so oh well #i don’t know if i give them reason to like me. maybe i don’t. this might all be on me actually.#if she knew i’m crying about this she’d roll her eyes and say ‘you know how i am. sorry you misunderstood me’#why do the blows keep coming? when’s it my turn to rest?

34 notes · View notes

perilegs · 2 months

Text

i needed some coworkers to hear keekki's meow and the only place i had a video of it on hand was tumblr so i whipped out my keekki post and played it and one person saw my screen and i forgot to click it so it wouldnt display my username in the video player and. hm. now im scared.

#almost immediately after this i got dropped off to a parking lot where my car was and people possibly saw my fudanshi sticker #and i had a backpack and aa bag and hat to put the bag on the ground while i got my keys from my backpacl and i fumbled bc i ger #SO nervous when i think ppl may be watching what im doing so while i was trying to unlock my car i knocked my bag over and a shirt and a ba #of chips spilled out and from the bag of chips a single chip and i picked it up in my hand bc i have a trash bag in my car for situations #like this but it might have looked as if i picked the chip up to eat it. from the ground. with plenty of seagull shit around #anyways sometimes i forget i act like a cringefail loser (=am mildly clumsy and get flustered and/or nervous v easy)#and then i have a cringefail moment #well. i have already experienced my most loser moment. it was when i was tired and for some godforsaken reason bought meatballs from a stor #those rlly shitty ones in the ready meals section. they were in a plastic bag. and i was at a train station sitting on some stairs and #eating them. cold. straight out the bag. one fell and i started crying.#its been a while since that though #now that im on t i cant cry easily so its fine #i just think i need to stop seeming as if i were a bit of a pathetic loser gdvfjdbdksm #im sure i had a point somewhere in here but i need to ramble about moments im sure everyone has had #leevi talks

4 notes · View notes

deityofhearts · 11 months

Text

I worry that I am both too much and too little at the same time

#deity dialogue #idk if I’m giving too much energy or not enough #I’m also aware I’m overbearing #even like with my own family I’m the overbearing one like they do love me (allegedly) but aren’t very affectionate like I’m someone who will #tell people I love them as much and as often as possible and they didn’t vibe with that and made it very clear and now I’m in a weird place #where I get so attached to people but no one seems to be as attached to me as I am too them #and I just like love and care about people so much and I wish I cared less #it would be easier if I weren’t clingy and overbearing and annoying #lmao ‘poor pitiful me I just love people sooo much’ abdjjfkt it’s so stupid #like the dumbest thing to cry over #I just hate it I just want to be loved and feel loved and not feel the way I always do #god I hate myself

6 notes · View notes

lowcallyfruity · 1 year

Text

I do not apologize for the person I will become when GloMas releases on EN.

The Idiasil brainrot will come back once again and will overpower the sebepel brainrot/hyperfixation.

Idia and silver will take over my tiny brain and instead of sebepel posts every 3 hours it will be Idiasil posts every 3 hours.

To my 3 followers please forgive me for the possible constant Idiasil content that will appear when GloMas arrives

#this is a /hj moment #i am just preparing for the possibility #i will probably go insane and start crying over them #😔😔😔 everyday I hope for more Idia and silver interactions.#still beating the 2 sebepel interactions so 🤷 that’s something #twst #idiasil #idia x silver #i might also become a Malleus Stan for the event period #(I already like him a lot but it will resurface)#idiasil…my beloved…#💛!me talking💀

11 notes · View notes

pepprs · 1 year

Text

doing really bad in ways i can’t talk about which is making it worse

#just cancelled a meeting so i could cry in the office LMAOOOOOOO 🥰👍#purrs #the mortifying ordeal of my therapist being on her honeymoon rn 😹😹😹😹😹#i think i am just a bad person and my needs hurt people who need me. and it’s not fair to them and idont know what to do with that.#i think i may have to move out sooner than i am ready to and not listen to anyone telling me to keep waiting. this is not sustainable. it’s #not sustainable for my family because i hurt them with my needs. and it’s not sustainable for me to be unable to need and get what i need #without hurting them. i think what’s so hard about this is that i have to do it alone and everyone is against me doing it but i have to do #it anyway. i don’t know. i don’t want my sister to see this and get hurt. if you do see this im sorry i can’t be what you need. im sorry my #needs hurt you. but they’re needs. i have to be selfish even though my brain is screaming at me in your voice that i don’t. i just need to #escape it all. i am allowed to need independence and alone time and im sorry i was cruel about asserting it but i need to assert it and no #one at home understands why but I need to. im not talking coherently i just feel so wretched and sick to my stomach with guilt and grief and #frustration and shame and i have to facilitate a huge session in an hour and a half.#delete later #like my friends / mutuals / mentors / etc can tell me until they’re blue in the face that i am not a bad person and i deserve to live an #independent Life etc etc but none of you are actually in my house and you don’t see how it is and how i am the cause of all of it and how im #stuck and making things worse. and i can’t summon my strength or calm down or anything. i don’t know. i have to get ready for the session i #just can’t even think straight. my family is right and i am also right and i can’t assert my rightness over theirs. so im stuck forever.#if i could i would leave work early and go home but there’s no one to take me home and home is actually the worst possible place to be #right now LOLLLLL. i just need to curl into a bed and cry. also im about to get my period so thats probably why im like this lol

10 notes · View notes

dangoulains-devotion · 6 months

Text

thinking just a bit too hard about how the added depth given to tifa and aerith's friendship only increases the weight threatening to crush tifa after the forgotten capital, she already had so much to carry on her weary shoulders, she's going to have to carry even more when mideel happens, and it doesn't even stop after meteorfall, ohg od oh i love her so much i