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sweetlittlegingy · 2 years

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You Can Call Me Babe For The Weekend

✦ Previous Chapter | Next Chapter |Better Man Universe

✦Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Single!Mother

✦Word Count: 15.4K

✦Warnings: Fluff, slight smut angst, mentions of abuse (previous relationship), self-hate, protective brother Bradley (let me know if I missed anything.)

✦A/n: This is out two days later than I planned, but you asked for a long part. So, here it is! I'm pretty proud of this one, it was definitely writing from the heart. Much Love - G

✦Library (Follow for updates! I no longer have a taglist.)

You were ecstatic that the work week was over, you were even more pleased that you had gotten off work early. You had finalized all the flight planes for next week and had already started prep for recruitments. You’d only been back on the North Island for 4 months, but time had flown. You had gotten into a comfortable rhyme, working under Cyclone and Warlock, even forming a “friendship.”

You and Warlock got along great, and you considered him a good friend, though you and Cyclone still had your moments in which you completely disagreed with each other. Most the time it was a contest between the two of you, to see which of you would break first.

For the most part, your work life at Top Gun couldn’t have been better. You had also heard from your father that Commander Kazansky was pleased with your work, and how quickly you had the office back up to naval standards.

Your life outside of Top Gun, well just outside of the office, was great as well. Bradley had introduced you to some of the other pilots, who welcomed you into the small group with open arms. You had even created a pretty strong bond with one of Bradley least favorite people, Lt. Jake “Hangman” Seresin.

Bradley had a talk with each of you when he learned that you had been hanging out in the beginning. Bradley had made the point that he didn’t fully trust Jake, and thought that it would be better if you avoided him. He was convinced that Jake was going to hurt you, even more than you already were.

You had told Bradley that you were in fact a big girl, who could take care of herself and that you didn’t think Jake was like that. You also promised Bradley, that as of right now, you had no intention of getting in a relationship, and that Jake was just a good friend.

That was 3 months ago and though Bradley had let up a little bit, he was still holding strong on his big brother position. Ready to defend and protect you at all costs. It was honestly hilarious how serious he took it. Though you were extremely thankful in knowing that he would always be there if you needed him.

You knew that the group usually got together at the Hard Deck for drinks every Friday and you, luckily, were going to be able to go as well. Your parents had offered to watch Mathew over the weekend, claiming that they hadn’t seen him in forever.

They had just seen him on the prior weekend, when you all got together for Amelia’s birthday, but who were you to deny them of the little munchkin. Mathew was already 2 and a half, quickly changing from your baby into a little boy, and they wanted to get as much love in before he got too active for them to handle.

You hadn’t told Bradley or Jake that you would be coming out, just in case plans changed, and you didn’t want to disappoint anyone.

Pulling up to your parents’ house you went to get a sleeping Mathew from his car seat, the drive wasn’t long from base only 30 minutes, but he was due for a nap, and he’d been teething morals. Meaning he hadn’t been sleeping well and was grumpy all the time, the extra sleep time was greatly welcomed.

Situating Mathew on your hip, you grab his bag from the passenger seat, and he wakes slightly. He wraps his arms around you, nuzzling into your neck and falls back to sleep, just as your mother comes out to meet you.

“Hello sweetheart, let me take that for you.” She takes Mathew’s bag and goes to give him a kiss on the head. “Has he been asleep long? Your father is just in the kitchen, he’s so excited to have him all weekend. Got’s all sorts of plans.” She gives you a teasing smile, poking fun at your father.

“He fell asleep on the drive and daddy just loves his grandbabies. Don’t make fun of the poor man, he doesn’t know what to do with himself now that he’s retired.”

When your father found you were moving back, he decided that needed to retire. Claiming that he needed to be able to help you with Mathew. He most defiantly didn’t expect all the open time he had, which led to him doing all sorts of home improvement projects. The newest being, the sandpit and playset in the back yard.

He claimed that the kids needed it. Though Amelia was ten now, and claimed it was for babies. While Mathew was still too small to play on anything, fully by himself.

You were thankful that your parents were so involved in Mathew’s life and wouldn’t complain at their antics.

“Honey, Y/n is here, and you need to turn down the TV. Maty is sleeping and I don’t want that football game waking him, it’s a rerun anyway.”

Rounding the corner, you see your dad; he had been making lunch, though when he sees you, he quickly comes over to take Maty out of your hands. He gives you a quick kiss on the head and goes to lay Mathew down in the play pen that they kept.

“Thank you so much for watching him, Mom. It really means the world and if you need anything just call.”

She gives you a nod, while putting the bag away and unpacking the frozen snacks you had brought.

“Sweetie, you seem to forget we raised you and Penny, both troublemakers.” Your dad lets out a chuckle and starts on lunch again.

“Me and your mom have everything that Maty could need, I even got teething gel today. Now you get out of here, you’re making me miss the game.”

You go around the counter and give each of them a hug and tell them thank you once again. Muttering that they could call you if they need anything and you would be right over. They roll their eyes, telling you that they know, but they had everything under control.

Heading out the front door, leaving them be, you yell out an ‘I love you’ and you officially had a whole weekend off.

No job and no kids.

You were more than ready for a drink.

You went back to your house to do a bit of cleaning and get changed before you headed to the Hard Deck for the night. You decided on wearing your favorite red sun dress and sandals, you couldn’t remember the last time that you had dressed up and gone out. The light makeup that you added to your everyday work makeup, complimented your eyes, and enhanced the color. You had finished off your hair, happy to take it out of the low bun that were required to wear at work.

You got to the Hard Deck around 7, and the bar was already packed. The crowd of patrons all happy that it was the weekend, and ready to start it off with a bang. Eighties rock music could be heard playing over the jut box, causing a since of nostalgia to spread through you. Your father had played eighties rock throughout yours and Penny’s lives, so it was no surprise that Penny had some cataloged in the player.

You see Penny standing at the bar, chatting to Mav, and when she sees you a massive smile spreads across her face. She waves you over, already starting on your drink.

“What have you made for me this time, Pen?”

When Penny had bought the hard deck, it was just after your 21st birthday and you’d made a game out of her surprising you with a new drink every time you came in. She’d known that you weren’t fond of beer and had taken to learning different drinks made from hard alcohol.

You say your hellos to Mav, giving him a hug and ask him about his day. He reply’s by lifting his beer, and that’s more than enough to tell you that it had been a long day.

“I know how much you love your tea, so I went with a Lemon Bourbon Sweet Tea.” She slides the drink to you, patiently waiting for your approval.

“Why don’t you every make me any special drinks?” Mav questions Penny, earning him a smack on the arm.

“Because you only drink beer or whiskey, so don’t you even start whining.”

Looking at the duo, you’d never understood why they weren’t officially together. The both of them had plenty of reasons that they would give you, but each of them was insignificant, when anyone could clearly see that they were in love with each other.

After taking a sip of your drink, you sing your sister praise, claiming that she was the best big sister. The warmth of the bourbon fills you and you can already feel the tension of the week leave your body.

“Is everyone here yet?” you ask, while leaning up against the bar. It was so packed that you hadn’t even tried to find your group of friends in the mass. The thought of trying to find them, without any help, in the wave of khaki uniforms sounded less than appeasing and you weren’t about to try.

“Yeah, they got here a bit ago. They’re all over at the pool tables, though I’m surprised Rooster or Hangman haven’t seen you and dragged you over yet.” Mav tells you as he takes a sip of his beer.

You look around the room once again, still not seeing them. Catchting your gaze, Penny motions to the far back corner. Rising up on your chair to see over the crowd, you see the back of Jakes perfectly styled hair. He’s lent over the pool table lining up a shot, and you can’t help but let your eyes wander. You loved when he wore his uniform, it fit him perfectly and stirred all kinds of emotions deep in your core.

On the side of him you see Bradley holding a pool que, and his mouth moving. You had no doubt that he was talking shit to Jake, trying to rile him up, though Jake seemed unfazed. You see the que slide back in his hand, then forward sending the black eight ball into the top left corner.

“I didn’t tell them that I was coming in, I had to make sure Mom and Dad could watch Maty.” You climb down from your chair, spinning back around to Penny and Mav. Taking a large sip of your drink, the bourbon burns as it goes down. The heat warming your chest and making you lighter. You’d need a few drinks if you were going to see Jake bent over the pool table all night.

Your relationship together had grown fast and strong, and the small crush you’d started to develop only continued to grow.

At first you didn’t know what to do with the blooming feeling in your chest, by now you had just learned to ignore it. Jake was a great friend, and you would never want to risk it.

He’d also never showed any interest in you, at least none that you had noticed.

You had yet to realize it, but Lt. Jake Seresin was completely enamored by you.

As the eight-ball landed in the pocked with a clack, against the other ball, he rose up hand out for his winnings.

“Pay up Rooster.” The cocky smirk, that seemed permanently etched on his face, lifted just a bit more with the win.

Rooster smacks a fifty into the palm of Jakes hand, muttering that he needed to use the bathroom and left the group. As Jake turns back around going to reach for his beer, out of the corner of his eye he sees you. Turning to take in your full frame as you walk through the crowd to him, his smirk turns into a full-blown smile. He’d never seen you all dolled up, and though he thought you looked beautiful in whatever you wore, you in sun dresses were now his favorite.

The red fabric fit you perfectly, tight around the chest, then flowing down to the middle of your thighs. His chest clenched as he sees your red lips, break into a smile and how you quicken your pace through the crowd.

Setting his beer down, he didn’t pay any attention to Payback saying that he had next game, and moved to meet you. He held out his arms reaching out for you and grabbed your left hand. Having you do a twirl for him, he’d never seen an angel on Earth, but by God you looked like one.

“My God. Darlin’ look at you.” You blush at the tone of his voice and give him a hug, while hiding your face in his chest.

Whispering down into your ear, you feel his warm breath upon you, and you can’t stop the shudder that goes through your body. “I’m mean it sweets, you look beautiful.”

Leaning up you give him a kiss on the cheek and mutter a soft thank you. It’s crazy to think that Jake had only been in your life for 4 months, it felt like you had known each other forever.

The way that your body easily relaxed around him, unsettled you at first, you had tried to put up walls, but it was no use. It was like Jake was the missing puzzle peace in your life, the friend that you had always wanted. Even if it could never be more, what you had with Jake was something precious. It slightly confused you, and yet it made you whole again.

“You sure know how to make a girl blush.” You go to walk to the rest of the group, in hopes of cooling down your burning core. Though before you can go far, Jake is pulling you back into his arms. He pulls you so that your back is resting against your chest, while he hugs you from behind.

“Need you to myself for a bit sweets, missed you.”

The both of you enjoying the comfort of each other, and you fall deeper into his chest.

As he starts to sway you both to the slow country song that had switched over on the player, he brushes a kiss to the top of your head. His soft voice drifts to your ears, as he quietly sings the old George Strait song.

He whispered it to you like a secret, only meant for you and you alone.

You’d loved how he was always soft with you, unlike how he was with his other friends. You felt blessed to know you were one of the few people that got the pleasure of not only seeing Hangman, but also Jake Seresin. The friendship that you’d developed was one of a kind, Jake made a point of proving that to you any chance he could. Which in no way helped your growing feelings.

The both of you don’t notice Rooster come back from the bathrooms, happily in your own world, in each other’s arms. Though Rooster is quick to notice Hangman disappearance, and when he asks everyone, Phoenix points one finger over in your direction. The smile that once graced Roosters face, drops as he sees the both of you and he can’t stop the way he rolls his eyes.

The group was used to seeing you and Jake hug, even during work hours, if you saw each other a hug would occur. It was like the two of you didn’t know how to not be touching one another. The whole group had known from the first time that they saw Jake with you, that he was in love with you. Though no one ever mentioned it, worried about how, not only you and Jake would react, but also how Rooster would react. He already had a hard time with your friendship and no one in the Dagger Squadron wanted to raise tensions between Hangman and Rooster.

They were also used to Rooster doing anything to pull you off each other, when asked why it bothered him so much. He had simply said that he didn’t feel like seeing his favorite person, hug his least favorite person.

The group snickered at Rooster, though it was Bob that made the jab at him.

“You better go do your job and get them off each other. Wouldn’t want Y/n to start liking Jake more than she likes you.”

The whole group breaks out in laugher, as Rooster gives Bob a horrified face, then hurries over to your side. You missed the whole interaction, and only noticed Bradley when he grabs your arm.

“Okay, that’s enough you two. Hangman get off her.” You go to protest Bradley, but he shushes you.

Jake lets you slip from his arms, giving your hand a tight squeeze and wink before looking at Rooster. “She might be your best friend Bradshaw, but she’s my girl.”

Rooster lets out a huff as Jake gives you another kiss on the cheek, letting you know that he needed another beer. He asked if you wanted another, to which you gratefully nodded, leaving you with Rooster.

“B, please be nice. He’s just a friend, and he means a lot to me.” You give Bradley your best puppy dog eyes, knowing that he could never resist them.

“You two sure act like more than just friends.” The statement makes you laugh, because of course Bradley would notice that you liked one of his friends.

“He doesn’t like me like that B, and it’s okay.” Your smile slightly falters, but you’re quick to fix it. “I’ll take him in any form I can get, I just don’t want to lose him.”

Bradley goes to protest you, to tell you that Jake most defiantly does have feelings for you.

“Please B, leave it alone.” You don’t notice the look of confusion that Bradley gives you, when you look back to the bar and find Jake already looking at you. “I can’t lose him; I don’t think that I could take it.”

You look back to Bradley and he sees the way that your eyes have tears lining them, pulling you into a hug. He couldn’t understand how you didn’t see how special you were and how much Hangman loved you.

He knew that your ex played a major part in your self-esteem. Bradley also knew that if he ever saw Adam again, he would kill him, without a second though. Bradley had flown out to Florida to help you pack, he’d seen the bruises and how you’d jumped at every little noise. You didn’t have to tell him, for him to know that you’d been through hell.

To see you opening up to Hangman scared him, because he knew that you’d been hurt in unspeakable ways. But Bradley knew one thing for sure, he knew that Jake loved you and would never hurt you like that.

So, he held you, hugging you tightly and muttered an okay. His voice cracked as he said it, though you couldn’t hear it over the noise of the bar, he brushed a kiss on the top of your head. Before leaving you, making sure that you didn’t see the tears now gathering in his eyes, you were his little sister and he just wanted to protect you.

Jake makes his way back to you in record time, handing you another bourbon tea, while he now was sipping a whiskey neat. His free hand comes to rest on the small of your back, as you both head over to the group.

Everyone is happy to see that you could come out, and tell you how much you deserve the night of relaxation. Jake goes to sit on a stool, his hand never leaving you as he pulls you to rest between his legs. He’s content to hear to laugh and talk with his fellow pilots, hanging on to every word that you have to say and your ability to talk just as much shit as he can.

A smile grows on his face as he hears you tell Coyote, exactly why he had been messing up on the drill today. You crafted each of their flight drills, so you knew how to perfect them to a T.

“I watched the tape before leaving today. You’re popping up too soon, which is causing you to undershoot it.”

Everyone gives you shocked looks, completely stunned because that is what Maverick had been telling them since they finished for the day.

“If you’re so knowledgeable about F-18’s, why the hell aren’t you flying. We could use another woman, to cancel out all the testosterone.” Phoenix questions you.

You fall back a little farther into Jake, contemplating how to answer. Few people knew about Mathew, out of this group it was Jake, Robert, and Bradley, not because you were ashamed. You were just a private person, Jake and Bradley of course knew because of how close you were. While Robert only found out accidentally, when he was dropping back a Tupperware dish of yours that Bradley had forgot on base, after bringing everyone brownies you had made.

Jake feels you tense up, gently rubbing your arms and kissing you directly in the middle of your shoulder blades.

“I was supposed to, I grew up around jets and have always loved them. Umm— when I got pregnant though, those dream had to change.” You feel Jake give you a squeeze, relaxing in his arms now that everyone knew, their silence deafening.

It’s Robert that breaks the silence, “I was meaning to ask where little man was to night, just didn’t want to bring it up before.” He adds the end on rather shyly and you give him a look of understanding.

“My mom and dad are actually watching him for me.” The excitement in your voice doesn’t go unnoticed by anyone. Turning to Jake, wrapping your arms around his neck and his around your waist. “For the whole weekend.”

His eyebrows raise and a smirk graces his face, “So does that mean….” He’s giving you a look, that in combination with his open-ended statement, has the whole groups minds in the gutter.

“That we get to have a Saturday movie night… Yes, yes it does.”

Jakes fist pump, makes you laugh, loving the way that he gets excited to spend time with you.

“That means no Disney sweets, not even the live action ones.”

You put on your best whiny voice, “But I wanted to watch the live action Beauty and the Beast. Please, Jakey?”

You watch in real time as he instantly caves in, though before he can mutter a fine. You’re giggling, “I was just kidding, but happy to know I still got you wrapped around my finger.”

The comment stirs something in Jake’s core, though before he does something stupid, like kiss you, he resigns to tickling you.

Finally breaking out of his hold, you tell the group that you need to use the restroom and will be back in a bit. You make your way through the crowd with the biggest smile on your face, you had needed this night and were so thankful for the group of friends that were spending it with you.

You quickly finish using the bathroom, wash your hands and make your way back to the pool tables. As you get closer you see Jake, though he’s not alone. A beautiful blonde stands close to him, twirling her hair. Her intentions for Jake are clear to see, and you can’t help it when your heart breaks a little. They looked great together, both tens, and you were just the friend. You don’t want your reaction to ruin anyone’s night, so you put a smile on your face and keep walking. As you get closer, you see Jake say something to the girl and her face instantly falls. You make your way back into the group as she is leaving. Catching the daggers she shoots at you as she leaves.

Confused by her reaction you walk back over to Jake, resting once again between his open legs.

“What was that, looked like she wanted to kill me?”

“Nah, she’s just mad at me darlin’. Told her I wasn’t looking for a fuck.” You heart sinks a little, wondering why he would ever turn her down.

“I don’t mind Jake.” You look down toward your feet, wishing that you could be smaller. “I don’t want to ruin your night, plus she was beautiful. The perfect girl for you.”

Jake feels you start to shrink into yourself, and quickly lifts your chin with his thumb and forefinger.

“You’re my girl sweets. Could never want anyone else.” His tone deadly serious, and the look in his eyes feel like it might set you a flame.

For a minute you think that you might kiss, his breath mixes with your own. Your lips only inch’s a part, if you were to lift your head just a little, your lips would be slotted against each other’s. Burning red heat pools in your core, his eyes holding just as much heat, burning you in every way. Your surroundings fade away, the two of you consume one another wholly. That line in the sand between you and him, is nonexistent and in its place,

White Fire; pushing you closer and closer to the breaking point.

But if the heat pulsing between the two of you, and the yearning, meant you would get burnt…

Then you’d burn at the stake for him.

Before anything happens, Jake sucks in a sharp breath and pulls away from you. You take a step back, shaking yourself out of the haze. Your mind already criticizing you. How stupid could you be, to think Jake would want to kiss you.

Jake is shaking, he was so fucking close to kissing you. He’d only just snapped out of it, Roosters voice ringing out in his head. After that first time he’d met you, Rooster had cornered him and threatened to kick Jakes ass if he made a move.

He didn’t stop trying to talk to you and after he’d formed an actual friendship with you, Rooster cornered him yet again. Though this time, he’d seen how serious Jake was about you. So instead of threating him only, Rooster threatened him, as well as made sure Jake knew that you’d just gotten out of a bad relationship. He didn’t go into a lot of detail, but Jake knew Rooster had to fly down to Jacksonville, get you and Mathew, and that your ex was lucky he wasn’t round that weekend.

Jake knew that if he ever wanted a relationship with you, he had to go at your pace. Which meant that no matter how bad he wished he could tell you that he loved you, that he wanted to kiss you and someday marry you. He had to wait.

He would do anything to keep you in his life, even if that meant only ever being your friend.

It would break his heart, but he’d do it willingly.

If it was at your hands.

“Come on Sweets, I think it’s time we head to bed.”

The soft smile he gives you is reassuring, and a smile slowly creeps back into your eyes. Jake clasps your hand in his, given yours a gentle squeeze, leading you out of the Hard Deck. The both of you forgetting everyone else, just happy to be back on solid ground with each other.

As you leave, you both can’t help but to think,

If this, holding each other’s hand in a silent love for each other, was all you got to have.

It would be enough,

having one another would always be enough.

…

You wake up dazed and slightly confused, you hadn’t fallen asleep in your bed. Yet here you are, wrapped up in your blanket and feeling completely rested.

After Jake had walked you to your car last night, neither of you wanted to leave the others presence. Being that it was only ten at night, you and Jake decided that he would follow you home and that you could start on your movie night. It wasn’t unusual for Jake to fall asleep on your couch, you would tuck him in, then head to bed yourself.

Though the last thing you remember from last night is, laying in-between Jake legs, snuggled against his chest, trying to stay awake.

Getting out of bed, you grab a hair tie, fixing you hair in a messy bun, and slip out the door in search for Jake. The smell of bacon hits you as you walk down the hallway, your stomach grumbling in reaction to the mouth watering sent.

Rounding the corner, you see Jake standing over your stove, his back turned to you as he hums to the music coming from your speakers.

This was your favorite Jake, all soft and warm, dressed in the sweatpants that he always left at your house and an old t-shirt. The fabric stretched across his back, worn down from the years that he’d owned it. Quietly walking up behind him, you wrap your arms around his waist, resting up against his back. Enjoying the warmth from his body and the calming rhyme of his breath.

“Good morning to you to sweets. Made you pancakes.”

You hum a good morning into his back, unwilling to let go of him yet. He reaches out to turn off the stove, before patting your arms in a signal to loosen up. Jake turns around and you can’t stop the smile that covers your face, as you take in his sleep filled eyes. Not thinking of anything other than the here and now.

“Hi” the word falls from your lips, as the only thing you can think to say this early in the morning. Jake’s smile back is the best response you could have asked for, though it’s followed up by him giving you a forehead kiss and for a moment you think that those may be your favorite thing.

He releases you from the hold and pushes you to the countertop, a plate already made for you. You say a small thank you, as he passes you a cup of coffee just how you like it. The routine of it all, feeling so domestic that it should scare you. It had always been easy between you and Jake though, fitting into each other routines perfectly.

Mornings like this were a rare occasion, Jake had yet to meet Mathew, and only stayed over when he wasn’t home. It wasn’t that you didn’t want the two of them to meet, you were just scared, worried that Mathew wouldn’t like Jake. With everything that the both of you had been through, bringing a new man into his life worried you.

Though between Penny and your parents, you and Jake had been able to have two sleepovers every month since you’d became friends, and a routine formed.

“What time do you want to head to the beach today? I was thinking that we could find a nice spot that isn’t too crowded, and you could continue reading me Gatsby. We should be able to finish it.”

Shaking your head at him, you finish off the bite of pancakes that you had been chewing. Jake didn’t cook for many people, and they were clearly missing out. Behind that cocky front, he was an amazing cook and made the best pancakes. A skill, that he had told you, came directly from his momma.

“That sounds nice, though I don’t know why you like me reading to you so much.”

Jake picks up the finished plate from in front of you, placing it in the dishwasher as you take another sip of coffee patiently waiting for his reply.

“It’s my favorite thing ma’ dear. Especially when you let me lay in your lap, and you run your fingers through my hair. It’s relaxing.” You roll your eyes at the smirk he gives you, pushing off the stool and going to help him with the dishes.

Though he is quick to stop you, batting your hands away.

“Nope, you go get ready. I want to get there before all the good spots are gone.”

You give him a glare, annoyed that he wouldn’t let you help clean up after he cooked breakfast, but he just pushes you to your bedroom. Snaping you with a dish towel, the crack of it rings through the kitchen, and the sting on your left ass cheek makes you jump.

“You fucker.”

As you close your door, you hear his booming laugher echo through the house, please with himself.

You hurry to get ready and the both of you are on the road on the way to Jakes house, riding in his pickup. Music drifts through the speakers, the windows rolled down, the feeling of the salt air on your face is refreshing. Your sunglasses rest upon your face and you can’t stop the sneaking glances that you keep giving Jake. The sun cast over his face, highlighting his tan skin, one arm resting on the stirring wheel. While the other is resting on your knee, tapping to the beat of the music.

Peace, that’s what this moment is.

Utter peace.

And the smile Jake gives you when he notices you staring, giving your knee a squeeze, cements that thought.

Pulling up to Jake’s house, he tells you that he will be right back and that you are to stay put. You watch him as he runs up the steps, enjoying the sight of him. It’s your phone ringing that pulls you out of your thoughts, seeing that its Bradley calling.

You answer immediately, your tone light and happy. “Moring B, how are you doing?”

“You sound chipper. Bit early for you, isn’t it Y/n? Shouldn’t you be in bed still.”

“Haha, very fun.” You wish that he was here, to see the way you want to poke your tongue out at him. He was always one to give you crap for how much you enjoyed sleep. “I’ll have you know that we’re going to the beach. Sand and sun, well and Mathew, are the only reasons that I will happily get up early.”

“You and who are going to the beach?” You can hear the edge in his tone, cursing yourself for saying we instead of I’m.

“Um… well me and Jake are going to have a beach day.” You rattle off the words quickly, hoping that it’s still too early for Bradley to have heard Jakes name.

“Seresin, is taking you to the beach? Hmmm, okay have fun.”

The way he says it unsettles you. Knowing Bradley, well enough, to realize that he is scheming now. You say your goodbyes to each other, just as Jake is getting back in the truck. Clad in board shorts and a white t-shirt. He throws a bag in the back, filled with beach towels and an extra set of clothes, next to your own bag.

“All ready Sweets?”

“Most defiantly Jakey!” He grimaces at the nickname, causing you to giggle. His hand settles back on your knee, as he pulls from the driveway. Happy to get to spend the day alone with his girl. To have a whole day with you, all to himself.

You make it to the beach, the drive over slow, the both of you enjoying the car ride. Going on drives was one of your favorite things to do, especially with Jake. The atmosphere between the both of you was calm and relaxed, a comfortable silence as you hummed along to one of Jake playlists.

Pulling up to the beach, the sound of waves crashing against the sand is soothing to your ears. The cascade of blue and white washing over the sand, was always one of your favorite sights. The ocean had always been your home, always living nearby it, except for those two years when you were a teenager. Your father had gotten transferred, and though you knew it was only for a short time, you all agreed to spend the transfer together in the mid-west. When you’d finally gotten to come back to the North Island, you had decided that you always wanted to live by the sea.

The ocean and you shared a connection, healing your soul with each rise and recession of the tide. A reminder that like the tide you may fall, but you always rose again. After coming back home from Jacksonville, you found yourself constantly at the beach, it was the one place that your soul felt at peace. That your brain would actually be quiet, and all you could hear were the waves.

You didn’t catch the smile that Jake gives you as you watch the sea, the first time that you’d come to the ocean together, you had smiled the biggest that he’d ever seen you. He loved to see the calming affect that it had on you, like the ocean was calling out to you. It quickly became Jake’s favorite setting to see you in.

“Come on darlin’, let’s go find a spot.” The hand still settled on your knee gives you a squeeze, pulling you back to reality, causing you to look over at Jake. His green eyes staring back at you, with such wonder, that for a moment you think there could be so much more behind them for you. Brushing the thought off, as just that, and nothing more than your imagination. You unbuckle and getting out of the truck.

“I’ll get the bags; you get the cooler?”

“Yes ma’am.”

You follow behind Jake, letting him pick where you’d be settled for the day, the beach calm and quiet. Only a few other groups can be seen, still early in the day, and spaced far apart that you don’t have to worry about bothering anyone. You stop in the middle of the sand, far enough back that as the tide rises, you’d still be out of the way, but close enough that you could go swimming without fear of someone taking your things.

Jake settles the large blue ice chest down, flipping up his sunglasses, before giving you a bright smile, white teeth standing out against his tan skin.

“This good darlin’?”

“Perfect.” You move to start unpacking the bags, but Jake grabs them before you have chance. Settling for the smaller bag, you began pulling out the speaker and a few towels. Jake works on laying out a blanket and a beach umbrella. You had left your shoes in the truck, knowing that you wouldn’t wear them, but you grab Jakes, that he had taken off, and put them in your bag. Not wanting to lose them or forget them when you leave.

You pull off your denim shorts, not wanting them to get sandy, leaving you in an over sized t-shirt that you had stolen from Bradley years ago.

“I was thinking about reading for a bit, just enjoying the sun. Then maybe going for a swim later, if it warms up a bit. What do you think?”

“Sounds good to me sweets.” He goes to pull of his top, and your eyes fall directly to his torso. It’s not like you hadn’t seen him shirtless, but every time it made your mind go fuzzy. All the tan skin, harsh lines that no doubt take hours to maintain, and light scatter of hair that just below his board shorts. The new grey shorts don’t hide anything, you’re sure Jake noticed and happily picked them out. His cocky attitude, clearly stemming from the anatomy directly eye level with your face.

Quickly averting your gaze, you look back up Jake, hoping that your cheeks weren’t too inflamed. Doing everything in the world to clear your mind and not think about how he would absolutely split you apart. No matter how much you want the internal thoughts to be true, you know that thinking them will only break your heart.

Luckily Jake gaze wasn’t watching you but the water, rising and falling.

“Texas is beautiful, don’t get me wrong, but this is something else.” He gazes back at you, to which you smile.

“I know exactly what you mean. Now come on, I want to finish the book today.”

You settle yourself in the middle of the blanket, under the umbrella and reach for your tattered couple of The Great Gatsby. Jake slides down next to you nudging your thighs apart and settles between them. Resting under the umbrella he takes off his glasses and gives you a warm smile. One of your hands comes to rest in his hair, ranking through it, while the other opens the novel. He hums in content, closing his eyes, and then leaning over to kiss the inside of your thigh. Butterflies flutter in your chest and the show of affection, loving how comfortable he is with you.

Settling back for a relaxing afternoon, your dive back into the story that is Jay and Daisy.

“When I came home to West Egg that night I was afraid for a moment…..”

The story consuming the both of you, your surroundings fading away and transporting you back into the 1920s. Jake rarely moves, and when he does it so nuzzle closer into your hand. The soft strokes of your fingers in his hair comfort the both of you.

Jake wasn’t one to let people touch his hair, preferring it when it was neatly styled, not a hair out of place. Though on days when it was just the two of you, he left it without gel, knowing that you would both inevitably end up snuggling, and your hands would land in his hair.

Time seems to slip away from the both of you and it’s not till a football flies towards the both of you, hitting Jake in the stomach, that you realize how long its been.

As the ball hits him, Jake lets out a grunt and sits up, both of your eyes flying to the direction it came from. Just a few yards away you see the whole crew, led by Bradley, heading directly towards the both of you.

Jake lets out a load groan, falling back into you. Arms wrapped around your waist, hiding his face. His voice muffled, though you can still understand him. “It was supposed to be my day.”

He reminds you of a child, mad that they have to share their toys. You can’t help the laugh the erupts from your chest, running your fingers through his hair once again.

“I may have let it slip that we were going to the beach, when Bradley called earlier.”

“Sweeeettttssss” His whiny tone, only makes you laugh more.

“Jakey, it will be fun. Having all of us together, yeah?” He looks back up to you, then over to the group that is just out of hearing range still.

“Yeah, fun.” Jake grabs the football, moving to get out of your lap and pulls you with him. Throwing the ball back to Bradley, you both go to meet your friends. Though before you reach them, Jake turns back to you with a pointed finger.

“Don’t you even think about inviting them to movie night. I’m not above popping their tires, so they can’t drive.”

Stunned slightly at his reaction, you just nod your head. To which he kisses your cheek before heading over to the guys. Bradley meets you first, carrying another cooler, not doubt filled to the rim with beer.

You give him a questioning glare, “‘Okay have fun’, my ass Bradshaw.”

“I have no idea what you mean Y/n. We were planning to go to the beach today and it just so happened that we both choose this beach.” He gives you an award-winning smile. “Great minds think alike.”

Happy to burst his bubble, “Yeah they do, I can’t believe that you and Jake thought of the same beach.” His smile drops and you leave him with a wink, heading over to see Robert and Phoenix.

After a few trips to the cars, you finally get all of their stuff unpacked and set up next where Jake had picked out.

The guys cracking open a few beers, deciding how the teams would spilt up for dogfight football. The sun sits high in the sky, the day heating up nicely, giving you a clear view of the group of, now shirtless, pilots. You, Phoenix, and Halo decide against playing, noting that the weather is perfect for tanning.

You pull off your t-shirt, and move to get comfortable next to Phoenix and Halo, the both of them already relaxing on the sand.

Grabbing your sunscreen, you apply it to your front and face, wanting a tan, but also needing the protection. You turn around hoping to ask one of the girls to do you back, but they are both already out of it. Sunglasses on, earbuds in, and closed off to the world.

A sigh leaves you lips, you look back to the guys not wanting to be a bother. But also, not wanting to chance your skin health in the future. Everyone in your family had sensitive skin and after your mother had a skin cancer scare, you religiously started wearing sunscreen.

Deciding that its best to ask them before they start the game, you hop up sheepishly making your way over. You’d decided that you would just ask Bradley, he’d done your sunscreen millions of times over the years, and you also didn’t give a shit if you annoyed him. That was the role he got as “big brother.”

Though before you can even call out to him, Jake is jogging over to you.

“What’s up sweets? Change your mind, and wanna play?” The smirk his gives you, does nothing for the raging wave of emotions that is you.

“I was just coming to ask Bradley if he could help me with my sunscreen.” You motion to your back, with the bottle in your palm. Given a sheepish smile, slightly embarrassed that you need the help.

His open, face up palm, clearly means that he wants the bottle.

“Jake, don’t worry about it. I can just wait, it’s only my back.” You’re quickly trying to back track, even though you were extremely close and always touching, this was different. You didn’t have a shirt one, his hands would be all over you and if you though your cheeks were inflamed earlier. You knew that if he touched you, you would quiet possibility implode.

“Sweets give me the bottle; I’m not risking you getting burnt.” The no shit tone, clearly met he wasn’t taking any of your shit and that if he had to hold you down, he would. A silent battle was coursing between the two of you, eyes staring, waiting to see who would break first. Jake lifts one eyebrow, a silent “don’t test me” spoken loud and clear. Begrudgingly, he had over the bottle.

A whistle and twirl of the finger from Jake, makes you turn around. Reaching up to hold your hair out of the way, you can feel the way your heartbeat speeds up. It rings loud in your ears, and you only hope that Jake doesn’t notice.

The slow anticipation kills you, and it’s the way his fingertips ghost over your shoulder blade, moving a stray piece of hair out of the way, causing a shutter to track down your spin and go goosebumps to cover your arms.

“You cold, sweets?” though the question seems sweet, the teasing tone in his voice is clearly anything but. All that you can manage is a nod, while he releases a chuckle. The ghost of his hands tracing shapes into your skin has your ears ringing. Hands falling down around your hips, tracing the top of your bottoms, then back up. Up the sides of your waist, skimming just under the curve of your breasts. You’re positive that your breath is coming out in soft pants.

Jake couldn’t help it, having your soft skin finally under his hands, the way that his mind had been begging him to. Finally able to, the way that his hand wandered was an out of body experience. One that he couldn’t stop even if he wanted to, which he didn’t. No, he wanted to memorize every inch of your skin, not caring that you both were out in public, with everyone’s eyes possibly watching. So, he traced just under the cusp of your heaving breasts, his own breath uneven, coming around to massage your shoulder blades.

With each push of his thumbs, loosening the tight muscles, you fall farther from reality. Jake was all consuming, pushing and pulling every breath from your chest. You can’t stop the way your shoulders sag, head dropping to the side as he pushes on a sensitive spot. A whimpering moan drops from your lips, and you can’t stop it. You didn’t want to stop it, only thinking in the heat filled haze that surrounded you.

Jake just about dies, there in the sand, and he would go happily. Taken by the sweetest fucking sound that he’d ever heard, he wants to draw a continuous string of those moans from your lips. He’d do just about anything to hear that noise again, but he knows that once you come out of the haze you’ll be embarrassed. He also doesn’t want to attract the attention of the guys anymore, then they already possibly are.

His hands move up to grab your hair from your hands, taking it and releasing it, just after placing a delicate kiss to the center of your shoulder blades. His mouth coming to rest by your ear, and his breath warms you, down to your bones.

“All done.” You imagine that his voice sounds just a breathless as yours and can only nod. Muttering a quick thank you and grab the sunscreen back before Jake can tell how needy he’s made you.

Your retreating figure leaves Jake alone, giving him time to process his thoughts, and notice the prominent bulge, that his grey fucking shorts do nothing to hide. Cursing himself, he shifts doing his best to hide it, trying to think of anything other than your soft skin and how you sound.

The thought of Rooster’s godforsaken mustache settles him enough that he’s sure the guys won’t notice. Now he just has to figure out how to forget the ordeal completely, how to let you take your time, and how not to make a move the second he sees you again.

…

Darkness settles across the beach as the sunsets, the cold seeping into your bones. As the guys work to start a bomb fire, wanting to make smores, you search through your bag looking for a sweater. Unsuccessfully, you move over to Jakes bag hoping that he was smart enough to bring one. He ran hot blooded and wouldn’t need one, so you weren’t too hopeful in your pursuit. Though when you feel the thick material, you pull it out and do a small happy dance. Slipping it over your head, the warmth of it incases your body. Smelling of jet fuel and his cologne, you want to sink farther into it and the warm feeling it gives you. Instead, you stand and make your way to the group, the bottom of the sweater reaching down, just below your butt and the sleeves covering your hands.

They had started to fire away from the previous placement of your things, not waiting to risk everyone’s stuff getting smokey. He had noticed you go off while they were setting everything up, knowing that you wouldn’t wander far, especially not at night.

He sees you, clad in his sweater, looking so warm and comfy. The light of the fire bounced off you, lighting up your gentle face and sea sprayed hair. He’d always been a bit territorial with you, though seeing you in his clothes, triggered a whole new level.

You were standing there, in his clothes.

You were his, whether you knew it or not.

You would always be his.

Walking through the group, thankful for the addition of a fire, you can feel yourself warming up even more. You gentle smack Bradley upside the head as you pass him, catching the tail end of a story about your childhood.

“Ouch.” He gives you teasing glare, while you stick your tongue out at him. Causing the group to laugh at your siblingish antics. “Anyway, she had convinced me to try and sneak into the hanger with her. But at the last minute backed out, even though I was already in the HANGER.” You can’t stop the giggle that bubbles up your chest remembering the day.

“I saw Mav coming, and I wasn’t about to get in trouble.” You say as you settle between Jake legs, him intently listening to the story unfold.

“You could have signaled me, but no you left me for dead.” The accusation causes everyone to laugh at Bradley’s exasperated sigh. “Mav made me clean the hanger floor with a toothbrush, A TOOTHBRUSH.”

“I offered to help—”

“Yeah, but he said that you couldn’t. That I needed to learn my lesson. I missed my date with Alison Reynolds because of you.”

You’d forgotten that bit, though hearing it makes your throw your head back in laugher.

“She was a bitch anyway B, I saved you.” You hadn’t stopped laughing and the middle finger Bradley flips you only makes you laugh harder.

He starts up another story, one that you aren’t apart of, while you relax into Jake chest. His arms rest around your waist, gently tugging at the sweater.

“This mine sweets?”

“It was, but it’s mine now.” You turn to give him a sly smile. “I’ll give it back, once it stops smelling like you, and pick out a new one.”

An amused smile graces Jake face, not the slightest bit stunned by your cheeky nature.

“You really are something else, you know that.” A shake of his head, and he’s pulling you in. Crashing you against his chest, where you end up settling for the night. Drinking beers and chatting with your friends. Enjoying each other warmth and the carefree nature of the group of friends.

…

Jake holds your form, as another fit of giggles pass through your lips. You, Phoenix, and Halo, had decided to break open the vodka, which had been a sight in itself. The three of you taking shots, to one up one another, Jake and Rooster had stepped in once you’d reached the giggling phase. The two claiming that it was time for bed and began breaking up the party. Jake only had one beer, once he realized that you would be drinking, he wanted to make sure you got home safe.

Forgoing the thought of you walking up the drive, he lifts you bridal style and carries you to your front door.

Arms wrapped around his neck; he only pauses to get your keys from his back pocket. Catching the sight of your glazed eyes staring back up at him, taking in every move he makes.

“Jakeyyyyyy, I love you.” The wording pauses him from opening the door, immediately looking back at your face. Though you’re no longer looking at him but resting your head against his chest.

“I love you too, darlin’” You miss the sad tone in his voice, only snuggling farther into him.

Getting into the house, Jake kicks the door shut and toes off his shoes, not wanting to get sand in the house. You shift in his hold just slightly, causing Jake to think that you’ve doused off. Making his way to your bedroom, he gently sets you on the bed, as your eyes peek open, and a soft smile graces your face.

“Need you to get changed darlin’. I’m gonna get you some water to drink.” The nod that you give him, reassures him enough, that he leaves you sitting on the bed and goes to get a glass of water.

Wanting to get out of your sandy swimsuit you tug it off, happy to feel free of its constraints. Throwing the tangle of clothing into a pile on the floor, you could deal with it tomorrow, you grab a pair of panties. Crawling back up the bed to grab Jake’s discarded sweater, you pull it over your naked form. You can’t stop the shiver and the heat that pools in your core as it scraps across your taut nipples.

A soft knock echoes through the room, and Jake is standing there in just a pair of sweats with a glass of water. Your eyes zero in on his v-line and how the sweats dip almost letting you see him. Your mouth goes dry at the thought, and you don’t hear Jake talking. Only realizing he’s said something, as he holds out the glass of water for you.

Crawling to the edge of the bed, you rest back on your knees, talking the glasses from him. It takes everything within Jake, to stop the groan that wants to leave his body. As you sit there so pretty for him, in nothing but panties and his sweater.

You’re trying to kill him; tipsy you is trying to kill him.

You finish the glass, then bend back to put the glass on the bed side table. Jake’s sweater ridding up your form, giving him the perfect view of your bent over ass, begging to be smacked. This time the groan falls from his lips. When you sit back up looking into his eyes, you find his pupils blown wide, begging to devour you.

“You need to go to bed sweets.” His words are firm, but is tone isn’t and you no longer feel like holding back. The rush of alcohol flowing through your veins, clouds your sober brain. The only thing you want right now is standing right in front of you.

Rising up on your knees, chest pressed against him, one hand resting on his chest, the other sliding down his arm. Your eyes never breaking apart as you take his hand, moving the sweater, placing it on the open expanse of your hip.

Jake’s touch is still light and unsure, he was positive that you were tipsy, tittering on drunk. Though, he swears your eye’s had never been clearer than they are right now.

“I want this, Jake. I want you.”

Before he can say anything else, before you could lose your nerve, the hand that laced around his neck pulls him down. Pulling his lips to yours, and as they meet, time stops.

You feel his other hand come and cradle your face. While the other is no longer palming your hip, but clasped around the side strap of your panties. Grasping them so tightly that you swear he might rip them of you.

The kiss is harsh, teeth and tongue clashing, both of you tired of holding back. Finally in each other’s arms, the only oxygen either of you needed would come from the others mouth. The flames that you had felt earlier, were nothing compared to this. Having Jakes lips slotted against your own, fitting together as if you were meant for one another. The both of you begging for the other to understand the silent commandment of love, of the feels never said.

Jake pulls away first, his heart stutter-stepping, working to control his breathing. He looks at you for any sign of regret and sees none. No, not regret, but a gorgeous smile graces your face. You break out into a giggle again, head falling to rest on his chest.

Worry clouds his mind for a moment, were you just tipsy and could act on your feelings, or would morning come, and you wouldn’t remember a thing. He feels his heart crack slightly, the thought of finally getting you, and then losing you once again kills him.

He brushes a kiss to the crown of your head, “Come on sweets, bed.”

This time you don’t fight him, crawling up to your pillow, Jake moves the covers out of the way, waiting for you to get settled.

You give him a soft, content smile as he tucks you in. He brushes a stray hair out of your eyes, cupping your cheek gently and laying one last kiss to your brow.

“Stay with me.” Your hand reaching up to clasp around his wrist.

Though the sad smile he gives you, causes you to loosen your hold.

“We need to talk about us first sweets. I won’t take advantage of you; you mean too much to me.”

With that he rises, flicking off your bedside lamp, ready to make is way to the couch and try and sleep. Though he doubts that sleep will come easy, leaving him ample time to over think.

Your soft voice calls out before he can shut your door, “We’ll talk in the morning though, right? I want this, Jake. I want us.”

Jake swears that he could hear a crack in your voice, as if you were fighting back tears.

“Course sweets, we’ll talk first thing.” As he closes the door, quiet words fall from his lips. Ones that aren’t meant for your ears.

“If you remember.”

….

Jake wakes up before you, honestly, he had never gone to sleep. His mind running on high, every possible outcome resulting from last night, on a never-ending loop. Each time he closed his eyes, he felt you, saw you blissed out on his kiss, could feel the way you fit perfectly against him. It was driving him crazy the waiting game, so at 4:30 he had decided to go for a run.

He got back to the house around 6, the beat of the pavement against his feet had helped. Grounding him to the right now, music blasting in his ears to fight back any intruding thoughts. He’d pushed himself this morning, the fifteen-mile run, exhausting him. Exhaustion and pain filled his body, the tightness in his chest was no longer because of you, but the harsh cold air working against his lungs.

He'd relished in the pain, sweat coating him after pushing just a little more. Jake had always used running as an escape from his problems, pushing himself to the point of breaking, hoping to feel something other his actual problem.

You were still in bed when he got back to the house, he’d checked in on you and found you face down, grasping your pillow as soft snores drifted past your lips.

You’d woke with a pounding headache, and a dull ringing in your ears. Harshly throwing the covers from your body, you stand up, dizzy for a moment, before your vision clears up. The darkness of your room a welcomed visual, knowing that light would only make you feel worse. Leaving the safety of your room, you head to the bathroom hoping to find some pain reliever. Your eyes squint, as the morning light beckons through the hallway window. You silently curse Mother nature for making the sun so bright, especially on day that you were hungover.

Making it to the bathroom you find your bottle of Aleve, taking the last two pill and mentally noting that you needed to pick up more. Shrugging off Jake sweater from last night, turn on the water, hoping side to side in hopes to keep warm as the shower heats up. Stepping in, you welcome the burning heat of the water, letting it wash away the sand and grim from yesterday.

You eventually make your way to the kitchen, the throbbing in your head subduing, and the welcomed smell of breakfast greets you. Not seeing Jake in the kitchen, you call out to him, while making your way the coffee pot. Fixing yourself the much-needed dose of caffeine for the day, knowing that you would be picking up Mathew soon.

You’d constantly been texting with your mother all weekend, receiving picture and text updates about he was doing. You’d enjoyed the weekend off, though you were extremely excited to have your baby back in your arms. While leaving him with your parents had become easier in the past four months, the amount to missed him never lessened.

Having not heard Jake answer, you casually walk around the house looking for him. Not finding him, you look outside, seeing his truck you know that he had to be around.

You hear a quite thudding sound, at first not noticing it, though as you got closer to the backyard the louder it got. Taking a sip of your coffee, relishing in the taste, before opening the back door and finding Jake.

His figure hunched over your raised flower beds, well the beginning of your raised flower beds. You’d been working them, not having much luck with Mathew always around. He constantly wanted to help you, which was great, except when it came to sharp tools. The only time that Mathew wasn’t with you was during nap time, and you’d learned that the pounding of nails woke him up. Leaving your beds unfinished, and constantly taunting you.

The click of the shutting door pulls Jakes attention to you.

“Your quiet the helper to have around the house, might have to keep you.” You give him a teasing smile, in hopes to pull a matching one from him.

You didn’t know what was going on, but the air between the two of you felt tense, like you were both on edge.

A smirk creeps on to his face, good enough for you, “I had to do something, while you slept the morning away.”

A quiet scoff leaves you lips, not making an argument against his stated fact, when both you and him know it’s the truth.

“How’d you sleep anyway darlin’? That vodka not hitting you to hard this morning, is it?” He sees you roll your eyes and lets out a laugh, which has you flipping him off.

“Phoenix and Halo, both better have hangovers this morning. It was their idea, and I’m going to be pissed if I’m the only one suffering.”

Making your way over to him, you settle in the grass next to him and offer him a sip of your coffee, which he gladly accepts. Glancing past the white fence, you can see the sun rising in the distance. Painting the sky pink and purple, Jake settles next to you, the both of you quietly watching the sunrise. Your body gravities to his, your head finding a home on his left shoulder, enjoying the peacefulness as you pass your coffee back and forth.

Jake had spent all morning trying to stay active, to keep his mind busy. Though now cuddled up against one another, sharing coffee and acting so domestic, his mind races out of his grasp.

“I’m surprised that your awake this early, getting you into bed was no easy feat.” He casts the line out, silently hoping that you remembered the kiss. Though not mentioning it, just in case you didn’t. Jake wasn’t going to thrust something onto you like that; not the kiss, not your confessions, and certainly not that he felt the exact same way.

Rooster had asked him to go slow, and he would. Hell, after Jake found out about your ex, he firmly stated that you would always have the deciding vote in whether a relationship ever occurred.

The groan the escapes your lips, has Jakes breathing stilled.

“I hope I wasn’t too much trouble, and I promise next time I will take care of you.”

Jake feels his heart drop, hearing the conformation that you had no recollection of last night, feels like a heavy weight settling onto his chest.

For a moment you think that you see the frown form on Jakes lips, though when you actually look at him a smile is in its place. The smile seems forced, not reaching his eyes, like you know his genuine smile does.

“No don’t worry darlin’ you were fine.”

His voice sounds distant and as he turns from you, the final look of his eyes seems dull and withdrawn. For some reason your heart aches, deep within you a knowing, that you were missing something. Though you have no clue as to what it might be, leaving you both in a vast ocean drifting farther apart.

….

You both work the morning away, subconsciously avoiding one another. Though when noon rolls around, you know that you have to head to pick up Mathew soon and you couldn’t leave Jake on unsteady ground. No matter what, you needed him; you just hoped he felt the same.

You hear him come back inside from the back, you call out to him, before you can give yourself time to second guess the decision. Rounding the corner toward the kitchen, Jake is covered in sweat, the morning sun grilling him. He had finished your flower beds, and was just coming to tell you when you called out.

“I need to pick up Maty soon, but I don’t….” the breath you take in is unsteady and as you look at him the gaze he gives you, steadies your racing heart. “I can’t leave you with tension in-between us.”

You watch as his shoulders drop and before you know it, Jake is taking you in his arms. The both of you holding on to the other, taking in the sound of the others heart beating.

“I know darlin’. Don’t you worry sweets, we are just fine.” His voice steady, unbreaking, comforting you, and even though you hadn’t talked about the unknown, for right now it didn’t matter. A problem saved for a later day.

You pull back from the hug and rest against the counter, slowly tracing patterns into his open palms.

“So, I was thinking that, maybe, if you wanted, you could come and pick up Mathew with me?” You can hear you voice shake as you ask the question, too afraid to look Jake in the eyes and see his answer.

A hand grasps your chin, tilting your face up, his eyes staring into your soul, looking for any indecisiveness.

“You sure?”

You can’t stop the smile that forms now, “Positive.” A nod of the head gives a second confirmation.

“I would love to meet Mathew darlin’. Thank you for trusting me to.”

You wrap your arms around him, before he can see the tears that line your eyes. As his hand comes up to stroke the back of your head, your positive that even with you hiding it, Jake knows that you are crying.

“It just really means a lot that you care.”

“He’s another extension of you sweets, I already love him.” His thumb slides up to wipe the stray tear that you didn’t notice fall. A nod of your head is all you have to offer. Amazed at how lucky you are to have such a loving, and caring man in your life.

Thirty minutes later the both of you are in your car, Jake insisted on driving, and you happily complied, your head still aching a bit. You curled up in the passenger seat, head resting back with your sunglasses secure on your face, avoiding the bright light that is the California sun.

“You want to put some music on Sweets?” Turning to look at Jake, his eyes still focused on the road, but his hand holds out his phone for you to grasp.

You type in his password, having learned it a while ago, when you ordered pizza for a movie night.

“Just find a playlist, whatever you want listen too is fine.” You hum in acknowledgment already in his music app and scrolling. There’s a number of playlists; flight music, beach toons, oldies, country favorites, but the playlist that catches your eye is one named Sweets. You pause, looking back over at Jake, then back to the playlist, and again back over to Jake.

He notices your glance fleeting between him and the phone, breaking his gaze on the road to look at you.

“You have a playlist named after me.” You had wanted it to be a question, though it clearly comes out as a statement. The flush covering his cheeks is answer enough that your statement was correct.

Jake averts his eyes back to the road, clears his throat, and hopes that his flaming cheeks are calmed down.

“It’s music that makes me think of you.” His hand resting on your knee, gives you a gentle squeeze, making your face now flush red.

Knowing that he had taken time and made you a playlist, fills you with warmth. You can’t stop the smile from forming on your lips, making you feel like a giddy schoolgirl. You press your playlist and begin to scroll, seeing songs that you knew and others you didn’t. Scrolling through the list you can’t believe how many songs; he’d saved for you.

“Jake there are over a hundred songs on here.” The disbelief is clear on your face and in your tone.

“I know.”

He’s not giving you anything, no show of one specific emotion. Your scrolling comes to an abrupt halt when you see the familiar song, I’m already there by Lonestar, the song that your mother played on repeat whenever your father was deployed. You press on the song, letting the music feel your car and you can’t stop the tears that lining your eyes.

Having no words, you look over to Jake and find his eyes already watching you. The tightness in your throat makes it so you can’t talk, afraid that if you do the tears would fall.

Jake notices the tears, removing his hand from your knee and clasps the hand resting in your lap.

The lyrics drifting through the speakers, ‘Said I really miss you darling. Don't worry about the kids they'll be alright. Wish I was in your arms–’

Both of you, taken with the words of the song. No words need to be spoken between the two of you. Fingers intertwined, and when Jake brings your hand up to his mouth, placing a gentle kiss on your knucks, your tears fall.

Your quick to wipe them away, hating that you are showing so much emotion. Emotions that you’re positive Jake doesn’t reciprocate, though in moments like this you’re not so sure.

Worry coats Jake features, fearing that making the playlist was too much. Scared that he might have just pushed you away. He starts you release your hand, though your quick to tighten your hold.

“No. Umm–.” You clear your throat before continuing, pushing past the tremble of your voice. “My mom, she… she used to play this whenever dad was deployed.”

Understanding crosses Jakes features, and his slacken hand grips on to yours once again. You give him a smile, sinking back into your seat, and bring your joined hands to rest in your lap. The both of you content to sit and listen to the music. To be in each other’s presence and know that while the two of you might not be officially together, you were far from apart.

Arriving to your parents’ house, Jake parks your car idlily sitting in his seat while you get out. He didn’t want to intrude and thought it best that he wait in the car. Jake had met admiral Benjamin before he had retired, even meeting your mother at Naval Ball one year and admired the couple.

Turning back around when you don’t hear the driver’s door open, you see an idle Jake sitting and taping his fingers on the steering wheel.

“You’re coming, aren’t you?”

His gaze snaps to you, a questioning look on his face. He looks so unlike himself, like he really didn’t think you wanted him to come with you.

“I didn’t wanna intrude Sweets.”

Smiling you walk around to his side of the car and open the door, grasping his hands, tugging him out with you.

“You could never intrude. Now come on, you have someone special to meet.” The comment makes Jake smile, more than excited to finally get to meet Mathew.

“It seems your right darlin’.”

You take hurried steps up the sidewalk, pulling open the front door without knocking. Your hands still clasped in Jake’s as you pull him along with you.

“Mom, we’re –”

Though before you can finish, little feet come padding down the hallway.

“Momma!” the screech of Mathews voice warms your heart, and you drop to your knees just in time to catch him. His little arms wrapping around your neck, while you rub his back, pulling him back to shower his face with kisses.

“Momma, stop. Tickles!”

His giggle make Jakes heart constrict, he had seen pictures of the little boy, but now seeing him with you, it felt like he was home. The little boy is a spitting image of you, from his hair, to skin tone, and even the way that his giggle matched yours.

“I missed you so much baby.” You place one more kiss on his cheek, before rising with Mathew settled on your hip.

“Maty, I have someone I want you to meet.” Your gaze flicks to Jake, giving him a soft smile, before turning back to Mathew. “This is my friend Jake, baby.”

Jake holds his breath, he’d never been so anxious in his entire life, Mathew’s opinion of him holding more weight than any general he’d ever met.

When the small boy makes eye contact, Jake gives him a soft smile and wave.

“Hey, buddy.”

“You like toys?”

The question makes Jake laugh, he was used to his nieces constantly talking about their toys, and he wasn’t surprised it was the first thing Mathew asked him. He had seen the multiple toys scattered around the house, and knew that Mathew had a love for Disney, specifically Buzz Lightyear.

“I do buddy, my favorites Toy Story.”

The awe that spread across Mathew face, caused you both to laugh, happy to see him taken with Jake already.

“You know Buzz?”

You go to set Mathew down, his wiggling form clearly on a mission. Already moving for Jake, before you can stop him. Mathews tiny fingers clasp around Jake pointer, pulling Jake to follow him.

“Grandma and Papa got me new Buzz toys. Come see!”

“That’s awesome bud, let’s see ‘em.”

The sight of Jake, a fearless fighter pilot, that intimidated most people he knew, being pulled by your over exuberant two-year-old is a sight to see. Mathew pulls him into your parent’s family room, unfazed that he had only just met Jake. You follow behind the duo, and hear Jake acknowledge your parents with a kind nod, and a sir, ma’am.

Your mother gives you a questioning glance, though you father speaks first.

“Lt. Seresin, good to see you again.” His hand clasping on you Jake’s back. Removing himself from Mathew, who all but pouts at the loss of his new friend, clasp your fathers hand giving him a firm shake.

“Admiral Benjamin, it’s a pleasure to see you again.”

Your father and Jake get carried away in conversation, though staying next to Mathew to make sure he’s included. Jake bounces between answering your fathers’ questions and excitedly commenting on every toy Mathew holds up for him to view.

Your mother comes to stand next to you, leaning against the kitchen counter, knocking hips with you.

“You never said you were seeing anyone?” Her teasing tone makes you blush, knocking your hip back against her.

“I’m not, Jake is a friend.” You look over to the trio, finding the three most important men in your life. “A good friend.”

Though your mother doesn’t mention it, she notices the look in your eyes as you stare at Jake. It’s the same look that he had given your father when they first got together, and now here they were 40 years later.

Your mother brushes a kiss on your cheek, combing her hand through your hair and gives you a slight hug, before he heads to grab Mathew’s things from this weekend. You don’t notice her leave, your stare never leaving Jake and Mathew interacting, until she sets Maty bag on the counter in front of you.

“Sweetheart, what do you think about staying for dinner tonight.”

You look back to your mother, wanting nothing more than to have everyone together for dinner, though you aren’t sure if Jake made other plans for the night. You don’t want to be a bother to him and keep him from more important things.

“We would mom, but I don’t know what Jake has planned tonight and – ”

He hears you say his name, catching the tail end of the conversation with your mother. Jake tells your father that he would be right back and makes his way over to you. Your mother had left you again to go do something, so he quickly grabs your hand, pulling you in the hall away from others.

“Hey Sweets.” He gives you that award-winning smile that always make you stomach flip.

“Hey yourself! Maty seems to have taken right to you.” Your hand brushes down his arm, landing at his fingers, gently intertwining them together.

“Yeah, he’s amazing. You’re doing an amazing job darlin’.” His praise makes you preen, getting feedback from anyone about how you raise Mathew means the world to you, but hearing it from Jake makes it so much sweeter. “I heard your momma and you talking, and I heard her mention dinner. Now darlin’ if you don’t want to stay for dinner we can go. But if you’re saying no because you think I don’t want to have dinner with your family, well Sweets you are terribly mistaken. I want nothing more than to spend time with you and your family, to see this side of you.”

You scrunch you nose in delight, utterly amazing and yet confused by the hold this man has on you. “Jacob Grant Seresin, what in the world are you doing to me?” You gently click your tongue against your teeth at him, and he rewards you with a dazzling smile. “I guess we’re staying for dinner.”

Before you can move to tell your mother that plans changed, Jake swoops down and plants a firm kiss on your cheek.

“I guess we are.” His words are muffled against your cheek, yet you can still understand them. His hand sliding up to cup your cheek, thumb rubbing soft circles, far more loving than your relationship permitted. “Whatever it is that gets you smiling like that, darlin’ I’m going to be doing it for the rest of my life.”

“You’re such a sweet talker,” you shake your head at him, making to push him back to the living room. “You go play with Maty and dad. I’ll help mom start dinner.”

He reluctantly lets you push him away from you, turning back one last time with a teasing smile. Falling back against the hallway wall you sit in silence, what the hell was going on between the two of you. You knew that you weren’t together, but you sure as hell acted like you were. You’d been so positive that Jake didn’t see you like that, and know he’s gone and confused you.

Smiling to yourself you could never be mad at him; you’d figure it out eventually. For now, though you were going to enjoy the time with your family, which now felt complete in Jake’s presence.

Dinner had gone swimmingly, Jake and your father talking about his time in service. Your dad singing high praise for Jake and all he had heard from Admiral Kazansky. Jake had wooed your mother, being the ever-southern gentleman, that his momma no doubt made him into. Jake had completely surprised you, when Mathew asked to sit by him, wanting Jake to help him with dinner, and Jake not only complied, but did it happily.

He was a man after your heart it seemed.

As the evening came to a close, you noticed Mathew getting restless while lying in your lap. The five of you had decided to retire to the family room and talk after dinner ended. That was an hour and a half ago, and Mathew was officially done for the day. Knowing that the drive would take at least thirty minutes, landing you home at 8:30, and a half hour late for Maty’s bedtime.

Your mother had told you that he had taken a bath the night before, so you knew that he would be fine for the night. He would just need a diaper change and to get into his jammies, though the drive was likely to put him to sleep and you didn’t want to risk waking him.

“Mom, did you use that extra set of jammies I packed for Maty?”

Pulling for her conversation with Jake, you hadn’t meant to interrupt. You hadn’t even realized they had been talking; too busy making a mental check list.

“No, I didn’t sweetheart, let me go grab them for you.”

As she leaves you, Jake moves over to you, standing behind you and the half-asleep Mathew, his hands resting on your shoulders.

“We going to head out, get little man to bed?”

You give a soft hum as confirmation, moving Mathew as his elbow digs into your stomach. You mom comes back with his jammies and hands them, as well as a nighttime diaper, to you. A quiet thank you falls from your lips, not wanting wake Mathew.

You set up from the couch, Jake moving to grab Mathew from your arms, waiting for you to lead him somewhere that you could change the munchkin in private.

You lead him to your old bedroom, which had been turned into a second room for Mathew when he stayed here. The toddler still fast asleep, head resting on Jake shoulder sucking on his thumb, while his other hand cling’s to Jake’s shirt.

“Alright bud, just lay down here for momma.”

Mathew barley shifts once Jake has him on the changing table, you make quick work of getting him changed. Only waking him once, though he falls right back to sleep as Jake runs his fingers through his hair.

“He likes you.”

A soft smile forms on Jakes lips, his hand moving to cradle his head as he picks him back up, ready to get him in the car seat.

“Well, he has good taste.”

You scoff at the statement, Jake already heading out of the room, your mind drifting and think about how good Jake was with Mathew.

You push the thought away, going out to meet your parents, who are already saying their goodbyes to Mathew and Jake. Each of them kissing Mathew head, causing him to snuggle deeper into Jake’s neck.

“I’m gonna get him strapped in.” You give him a nod, going to say goodbye to your parents. “It was a pleasure to see you again Admiral. Thank you for dinner, it was delicious Mrs. Benjamin.”

Both your parents tell him to come back anytime, as well as telling him that he can call them by their first names. Though he just nods, telling them thank you again, then goes out to strap Mathew in. The little boy, more than content with the idea of sleeping in Jakes arms all night.

You thank your parents for dinner as well as the weekend, tell them both how much you love them. They each kiss you on the cheek, walking you to the door. Though before your out the door you father speaks up.

“He’s good for you sweetheart, for the both of you.”

“It’s not like that daddy.” You can’t help the way your smile slightly drops.

“I’ve got my own eyes sweetheart.” He brushes a kiss to the crown of your head, giving you a hug. “I know exactly what I see. Now you get home, get Mathew in bed.”

Leaving them, with a soft smile, you can’t help but to wonder what exactly it is that your parents can see between you and Jake. Were you being completely obvious with your feelings for him?

Jake has the car started, Mathew buckled and sleep, with soft music playing in the car, by the time you make it out. A sight that you could get more than used to. Climbing in, Jake grabs your idle hand, holding it in his lap, and heads out the driveway.

The drive home was quiet, a comfortable silence. Mathew not waking, not even when Jake grabs him from the car seat. You grab his diaper bag, already in front of Jake to unlock the front door.

“His bed, right?”

“Yeah, thank you.” Jake gives you a nod, and heads down the hallway. You place Mathew’s diaper bag down, ready for bed yourself. The weekend catching up to you. Conversations from earlier, making you replay every moment between you and Jake. Before you can throw yourself of the cliff, that is your mind, Jake reappears.

“Maty’s is out like a light.” He comes you rest across from you, leaning against the opposite counter.

“Thank you for everything today.” You look up into Jakes eyes, the deep green watching you carefully, assessing your every movement. Not giving yourself time to over think, you go and hug him. His arms wrapping around you just as tight, you can’t help but worry about the bubble you’ve created popping. If your about to lose, whatever you had created with Jake.

If it was only a phase, meant for the week, like a changing season.

It wasn’t something that you necessarily wanted to mention, and Jake have never said he liked you like that. Not even in the beginning of your friendship when it would have been so much easier to decipher feelings.

Now things were messy, he was one of your best friends and meant the world to you. You would never do anything to compromise that relationship.

On the other hand, you were positive that you were falling in love with him. You had noticed your feeling before, but seeing him with Maty…. It was like your whole world finally made sense.

You pull away from Jake, as a yawn falls from your lips. He chuckles at you, giving your hands a squeeze, then moving to the front door.

“I think that’s my que to leave Sweets.” He grabs his things off the couch, setting them on the floor and gives you one more hug. “Thank you for today, it means the world, that you let me meet Mathew. He’s amazing, just like his momma.” The kiss he brushes against your brow, causes your chest to ache.

The nod you give him, doesn’t, nearly, convey everything that you want Jake to know. But it’s all you can manage, when your already on the precipice of confessing information that could catastrophically ruin your friendship. If Jake notices how quiet you’ve become, he doesn’t mention it.

“I’ll see you later?” his question is open ended. Leaving room for you to say when, but you can’t bring yourself to answer.

“Yeah. Text me know you get home, so I know you made it.” It might sound controlling, but you would never stop caring about his safety.

“Course.” His hand slips from yours as he leaves. “Goodnight darlin’.”

“Night Jake.”

And just like that he’s gone, leaving you alone in an endless cycle of thoughts, a mess that you can’t process. One you’re not sure you even want to process. The ever-looming thought of heartbreak, and how maybe you weren’t meant for relationships seeps in.

Your back pushes off the door, double checking that it’s locked, and then heading to bed.

The weekend “off”, wearing on your mind more than any piece of work had ever. The thought of days filled with paperwork and flight plans, without cocky pilots that make your heart stutter step, sounds, even more, inviting with each passing second.

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