#anakin thinks in terms of ''she's mine''

[laughhardrunfastbekindsblog]

At the end of Rebels, Ahsoka had just learned her beloved master, Anakin, had fallen to the Dark Side and become Darth Vader. She seems to accept that she cannot save him. As she tells Ezra, "You cannot save your master, and I cannot save mine. I'm asking you to let go."

What is hinted at in Mandalorian and BoBF becomes clear in Ahsoka: she has not fully come to terms with Anakin's downfall, and has taken the wrong lesson in how his fall impacts her.

Given that she met Luke, it is logical to assume she knows what went down between Luke, Vader, and Palpatine over Endor; but she clearly is having difficulty reconciling the image of her beloved, respected, adored Master - who was SO kind and attentive and diligent and protective and devoted to her as his padawan - with the monster who sought to kill her and enacted such atrocities across the galaxy before his death. She is reluctant to talk about him, keeps speaking in terms as if she had abandoned him, and is obviously uncomfortable with the idea that she comes from a "long line of non-traditional Jedi."

And this leads us to the crux of the matter, what ultimately becomes her "final lesson": legacy and choice.

I think her vision of Anakin/Vader during the Ryloth flashback perfectly encapsulates her fear:

She had described Anakin to Ezra as follows:

"He was powerful, rarely lost a battle. What would have surprised people was how kind he was. He cared deeply about his friends, and looked out for them until the end."

But now that she knows Anakin succumbed to his dark side, she recognizes that this dark side - Vader - had always been a part of him.

If Vader had always been a part of Anakin, then who did she learn her lessons from? Had her own training been tainted by the darkness? How can she trust his teachings?

Even more concerning: If someone as revered as Anakin could succumb to the Vader within, what did that mean for her? Would she succumb to her inner darkness? Would she lead others down that path?

To add more complexity to all this: Ahsoka, raised in the Jedi Temple, had thought she'd be a peacekeeper. Instead, war erupts, and her role as a Jedi padawan becomes that of being a military commander, her training involves learning to be a soldier.

She didn't want to fight in a war, but she HAD to fight to survive. And the war, the fighting... It never ended. She even left the Jedi Order, and still she had to fight.

And if she felt so conflicted about both the lessons that had become an integral part of her very being and the master who had taught them, what did that mean for her future?

I see Ahsoka as being concerned about two things:

1) That war and fighting is her legacy. After all, war is all she has ever known. Fighting, fighting, fighting.

So, now, her focus is on stopping a war before it starts. Commendable, but... what will be the consequences of focusing so singularly on preventing Thrawn's return at any cost? Is it truly best in the long run for Sabine and Ahsoka and who knows how many others to die in what will likely be futile efforts to stop Morgan et al? Is Ezra truly meant to remain stranded on Peridea, in the hopes that it will mean Thrawn doesn't come back?

2) Fearing the legacy of coming from a long line of non-traditional Jedi that included Anakin-turned-Vader has made her afraid others will fall as well.

She fears what may become of Sabine or Grogu when there is the slightest hint of fear or anger from either of them. She doesn't want them to give in to any darkness, and that means it's "better to let [their] abilities fade." So she refuses to train them, and in Sabine's case, she leaves her.

And her fears regarding her legacy cause her to doubt everything, especially herself. Even as she makes difficult choices, she is constantly wondering if they are the right ones, doubling down on Sabine and others but still second guessing herself.

So, Anakin says, "Live, or die," as he fights her. And even as she says she won't fight and doesn't want to fight, she still fights back. She still has to make a choice - even when she doesn't want to.

Anakin: Back to the beginning. I gave you a choice. Live, or die.

Ahsoka: No.

Anakin: Incorrect.

Ahsoka has to decide - and she has to be sure of herself.

Anakin: You lack conviction. Time to die.

Ahsoka has reached a critical moment. She faces down the Sith Lord, the embodiment of Anakin's dark side, and in doing so she has to face her legacy, face the lessons she has been taught, face who taught her, face her own darkness... And she realizes she has a choice.

Ahsoka: I choose to live.

She chooses to live, but she doesn't fall as Anakin had. She chooses to accept what he has taught her, but she doesn't choose to give in to the Dark Side, her dark side. She carries on the legacy of those who came before - it is a part of her, AND she can forge her own legacy.

And while it still takes some time for her to come to terms with the idea that maybe - just maybe - she and Sabine are needed on Peridea and maybe - just maybe - it'll be okay that Sabine's choices led to certain outcomes, she has still learned the crucial lesson that Anakin's fall does not define her.

And I think it's beautiful.

[autistic-ben-tennyson]

Letting Go: How Shinkai Succeeds where Lucas Fails

After reading that essay on how Kung Fu Panda did the “letting go of attachments” story way better than Lucas did, I was inspired to write this. The problem with SW is that it tries to apply what is spiritual advice to a hero’s narrative when it’s not about heroism. It’s about coming to terms with grief, preparing for death or letting your child grow up. I want to talk a bit about two of Makoto Shinkai’s films that are both favorites of mine, Weathering With You and Suzume as both delve into this topic. The latter has its title character come to terms with her grief and trauma while the former is a rejection of the utilitarian view of letting one person die for the “greater good”.

Suzume succeeds with its “letting go” message because it focuses on the journey and shows the importance of a true support system and that it takes time to come to terms with grief. Expecting people to just let go immediately isn’t fair and unrealistic. Suzume’s whole journey is about exploring new places, meeting new people and learning joy can still come from grief.

Shinkai based this movie off the 2011 earthquake which was a real source of trauma for Japan. Suzume is a survivor who lost her mother and her home. She has to learn to not dwell on her past hurt but at no point is she shamed for missing her mother or told to just let Souta rot as the keystone for “the greater good”. She’s allowed to mourn. She and her aunt, Tamaki grow as people and as parent and child through emotional experiences, both in the movie during their argument and reconciliation as well as in the booklet that revealed a bit about their past. Tamaki had the responsibilities of being a parent thrust on her and resented it at times but communication was what helped their relationship become healthier and she never shamed her niece for having negative emotions. I’ve written an essay about this too.

The reason this movie succeeds at its message is that it treats its characters and audience with sensitivity. Suzume heals by remembering the happy moments with her mother and Tamaki was willing to adapt to her needs, unlike the Jedi Council. I think @abla-soso’s written about this but George doesn’t have the healthiest view of human psychology and trauma or of relationships nor is he a good writer. He’s sympathetic to Anakin, sure, but he and much of the fandom treat him as just greedy for holding onto his attachments when he doesn’t have a support system that validates his emotions and won’t help him heal except for telling him to meditate. A child healing by remembering their mother while going on a road trip to come out of their shell is not the same as being forced to go and help slavers that caused you so much pain. How can one heal from that?

The other movie in question, Weathering With You, is sort of a response to the ultra collectivism in Japan. Hina is expected to die so the rainfall will stop but what about the people who know her and have to deal with her loss? The little people are always forgotten about in these greater good arguments. Kind of like Trace and Rafa in TCW. Hodaka may have been selfish, yes, but Hina was the one person who treated him with kindness and affection as opposed to how his parents and the kids from his hometown did. Not to mention she still had a brother to take care of with their mother dying a year before the film was set. To just die would be abandoning those who needed her. Hodaka’s trauma and anger is treated with respect by Shinkai as opposed to just being written off as evil like Lucas or Jedi stans would.

Some have interpreted the movie as a climate change denial story with the rains and flooding being treated as natural. But it’s really more of a response those who put all the blame and pressure on one person to fix the problem, especially the young being forced to do so by the older generations. It’s not fair for the older generations to create these problems then put all the burden of solving it on the youth. The Jedi council was plenty guilty of that with how they treated their padawans. And it’s okay to live your life to the fullest, even if the world is falling apart.

I’m sure the Jedi apologists will probably respond by saying “Jedi aren’t against love or emotion, just possessiveness” but that’s not what the movies show even if Lucas didn’t intend for it to come off that way. Maybe these movies treat the subject with more sensitivity and nuance because they’re written by someone who understands Shinto philosophy unlike a 70s hippie who blends stoicism with eastern beliefs. Yes, SW was intended to be black and white, but that’s not how real life works. What may not affect one person will affect another and it’s not wrong to need time and unconditional love to heal. You can’t just slap labels like selfish attachment or greed on someone when you don’t know or refuse to understand their circumstances and motivations and it’s not fair to judge or write them off.

[margindoodles2407]

So.

Was anyone going to tell me before I started reading the William Shakespeare's Star Wars Series by Ian Doescher

That this man rivals Matthew Stover himself in his ability to take Revenge of the Sith from tragic to absolutely SOUL-CRUSHING?

@whyoneartheven GET OVER HERE AND TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. YOU LIKE SHAKESPEARE WE CAN BE NERDS TOGETHER

Highlights from The Tragedy of the Sith's Revenge:

The use of Rumor as a character and a plot device, like in Richard III, because Dramatic Irony

After the whole "Hey the Jedi Council doesn't trust the chancellor, we need you to spy on him" debacle, Obi-Wan gets a monologue about how much he loves Anakin and has been worrying about a growing darkness within him, and swears to do whatever he can to prevent him from Darkness

The Tragedy Of Darth Plagueis The Wise (tm) is a PLAY WITHIN A PLAY THAT PALPATINE ASKS THE ACTORS TO PERFORM, like in Hamlet, CAUSE PALPATINE AND ANAKIN ARE AT AN OPERA OH MY GOSH I LOST MY MIND IT'S SO COOL

Padme keeps having lines about how worried she is for Anakin and how she keeps praying for the preservation of his soul ;_;

After Anakin's fall, he and Palpatine are referred to for the REST OF THE PLAY as Vader and Sidious

TWO UNNAMED JEDI HAVE THEIR OWN SCENE ABOUT HOW WHILST LOOKING THROUGH THE CLONE HANDBOOK (tm) THEY NOTICED THAT A CERTAIN ORDER WAS SKIPPED OVER. THEY THEN LAUGH ABOUT IT AND GO TO WATCH THE YOUNGLINGS DO THEIR LIGHTSABER PRACTICE

Sidious has a soliloquy about his awfulness. ENDING IN: "Die, light, die, any good that ever was,/Die, wisdom; yea, die, virtue, die, respect,/Die, honor, die, nobility, die, right-/These qualities shall perish on this day./For lo, the Sith do ply their merry tricks,/Come, Death: thy name is Order Sixty-Six."

I AM SCREAMING

FREAKING CODY HAS A MONOLOGUE ABOUT HOW HE DOESN'T WANT TO KILL HIS BEST FRIEND OBI-WAN

I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS POSSIBLE TO MAKE ANAKIN KILLING CHILDREN SADDER BUT APPARENTLY IT'S POSSIBLE IF YOU HAVE HIM ASK THEM IF THEY'VE SAID THEIR PRAYERS BECAUSE, AND I QUOTE, "I WOULD NOT KILL YOUR UNPREPARÉD SPIRITS;/NO, HEAV'N FORFEND! I WOULD NOT KILL YOUR SOULS"

When Yoda sends Obi-Wan to fight Anakin on Mustafar, Obi has a monologue about how PERHAPS, ONE DAY IN THE FUTURE, HE MIGHT BE ABLE TO COME TO TERMS WITH THE FACT THAT VADER HAS EFFECTIVELY KILLED ANAKIN "FROM A CERTAIN POINT OF VIEW"

The whole "You turned her against me/You have done that yourself/You will not take her from me/Your anger and your lust for power have already done that/et cetera et cetera/I will do what I must/You will try" is done using, of all things, Nautical and Sailorly imagery. High Fantasy Star Wars, Anyone? (this legitimately made me so happy; they also have a similar conversation in The Clone Army Attacketh during the scene where Padme's asleep and they're talking about politicians)

WHEN. WHEN OBI CUTS OFF HIS LEGS AND IS DOING THE WHOLE "YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE" SPEECH. ANAKIN HAS A MONOLOGUE ABOUT HOW HE'D CRY TO OBI-WAN FOR HELP BUT (HE THINKS) OBI-WAN WOULD ABANDON HIM, WHICH ENDS IN "I HATE YOU"

Hey. Hey listen. Obi-Wan, after the battle, SINGS a FUNERAL LAMENT for Anakin

"Although it may be said that I have won,/Herein hath died the heart of Obi-Wan" EXCUSE ME MR DOESCHER WE ARE GOING TO HAVE A CONVERSATION

No no, listen to what Padme says about her children: "He shall be Luke, and walk among the skies./Heart of mine heart, and issue of my love." "'Tis Leia, who, like me, is royalty./Brave spirit, do remember thy sad mother."

(loud ugly sobbing can be heard from Margin)

I AM. NOT OKAY

[valemya]

🍄🧸 for the asks! :)

thanks for the asks!

🍄 mushroom: tell me about your dr family!

Certainly! In terms of biological family... I went the route 99% of shifters go- they're just not around. Being a jedi and all it would be difficult for them to be present in my life anyway, so to make it easier I just don't really know them because I haven't seen them since before I was taken to the order.

There is one exception though and it's a bit of a weird one tied to my other (star wars rebels) DR, which I have had for a looong time. Basically in that DR Ezra Bridger is my (non-biological) brother, yknow grew up together, lived together the whole deal. I faced a great deal of emotional torment when I decided to create my tcw DR, because I felt like I would be "cheating" on rebels by focusing on another DR. A friend of mine helped me realise it was alright to put that DR on the backburner for a little while, and besides I could just script Ezra in my tcw DR with me? So then came the epiphany I literally could just bring Ezra with me to my new DR, and that was genuinely really comforting and made me feel a lot better about my decision to make the tcw DR.

Anyway boring backstory aside, there is one exception and it's Ezra. The only difference is that in my tcw DR he's my second cousin (and my padawan!!) cause I thought it would be reeeally funny if I was just randomly assigned a padawan that coincidentally had the same last name as me, thinking there was no relation, until one day obi wan goes digging in the jedi archives or something and finds out oh shit! you guys are cousins fr!

Someone: *reading off a report* General Bridger and.... Commander... Bridger? Is that like your son or something?

Ezra and I, at the same time: we are NOT related!!!

Obi wan: ...😶

So that covers the biological side... but I know you're really here for the found family bit. I'd say that I consider just about everyone family, especially all the clones, but I'll rattle off a few really significant people quickly.

My old master Depa is for sure the mother figure in my life. And yes she's still keeping me in check even after I've long passed my trials and officially gotten out of her hair in the eyes of the Order. By extension, Caleb (Kanan) is someone I'd consider like a half-brother and don't worry, I make sure he and Ezra get to hang out a lot.

Obviously growing up with Anakin I'd consider him family too, and that means Obi Wan on some level as well. To me Obi Wan is kind of like a wine aunt. Will not be elaborating further. Ahsoka feels like a niece.

Despite legally becoming my brother-in-laws at some point, I do consider a lot of the clones to be either very close friends or some kind of familial figure I can't really place. Naturally some are closer to me than others such as Rex and the 501st or the Bad Batch, but I think I bond with them all pretty well.

Tech of course holds the most special place in my heart as my future husband.

...I think that covers it...

🧸 teddy: do you have a favourite childhood memory from your dr?

This one actually had me stumped for a while. I honestly, genuinely have not thought about my life before the war too much, certainly not as a child really. If I had a favourite memory of anything from my childhood it would be a toss up between:

When I was a brand new admission to the Order and didn't really know anyone or even my place in it all, I would spend most of my time in the temple library/archives. The lovely librarian Jocasta Nu was super kind to me, and I continued to spend time in there over the years and even kind of wanted to work within that area because of her kindness. Turned out not to be as I got assigned to the war instead, but the memory is still pleasant.

OR

The early days when I was chosen as Depa's padawan. Getting to know her and what she stands for and learning from her and meditating together is just such a nice bonding activity. She's super supportive and a very grounded teacher, and I think my eyes would have been sparkling watching her do all these cool things and then receiving her guidance on these same things until I was able to master them myself. Just so cool. I think she's a great jedi and a great teacher too.

And there you have it! my essay responses to your asks! hope you've enjoyed and thanks again for the submission!

[magnetarbeam]

I've now finished Heirs of the Force and started Shadow Academy, but I also skipped ahead to finish Lightsabers, and it got me thinking again about Voices of the Force, and the question of the crystal that Ahsoka uses for her new sabers in the New Jedi Order.

My previous idea, which I don't think I've fully talked about on here, was that she follows the calling of the Force back to Christophsis, and uses chunks of the crystal material that coats most of its surface. I don't know if that has a name, but it's not the classic kyber that can also be mined there, which is part of the point.

When I had this idea, I thought vaguely that it'd be part of Ahsoka's process of coming to terms with not only Anakin Skywalker's ultimate fate, but knowing what he'd done before they even met.

Now I have the more specific idea that when she's there, some random person recognizes Ahsoka from descriptions in stories passed down from their grandparents, who Ahsoka apparently saved back in the Clone Wars.

And it reminds her that even though she couldn't prevent the rise of the Empire, and even though she's now questioning everything she learned from Anakin Skywalker, the most important thing is that she saved individual people.

Her choice to use the other crystal instead of the classic kyber from the mines is for the sake of her wanting to be part of the New Jedi Order's different traditions.

Side note: is Ilum even an option in 44 ABY? I really have no idea.

[mayxthexforce]

My Thoughts On Stewjon

🛑 DISCLAIMER 🛑 not all these HCs are mine, the "Stewjon is space Scotland" is a popular fandom take I like and decided to expand on.

I've decided to put all my HCs for Obi-Wan's homeworld and its culture here. They'll be under the cut!

Like I said above, I follow the "Stewjon is space Scotland" fandom idea. Aka, the Stewjoni share a lot of cultural and linguistic traits with Scottish and Celtic culture. Which I think include but are not limited to: calling one's children "Bairns", log throwing as a sport, kilts for special events, terms of endearment such as Mo Leannan (my lover, my sweetheart), M'eudail (my darling, my dear), Mo Chridhe (my heart).

Stewjon's —like Scotland's— diverse landscapes consist of dramatic mountains and glens, forests and moorlands and a highly indented coastline fragmented into a diverse range of islands. There are also rolling lowlands, fertile straths, broad estuaries and settlements.

Stewjon is located in Wild Space, which is why it's not a planet that's talked about that often. They aren't as introverted as the Chiss, nor as isolated as the Kel Dor, but they're just really far away for the Galactic Republic to really bother to reach them. Because of this, like the Chiss and the Kel-Dor, the Stewjoni have their own type of cult for force users and —much like with the Kel Dor— their force users specialize in predicting natural disasters- focusing on predicting earthquakes, landslides, and floods. But people also reach out to them for visions about their future.

When it comes to names, the Stewjon like to "paint a picture" with people's names. Obi-Wan's birth name is Ben Kenobi, which means Mountain (Ben), Born Of Fire (Ken) and Heart (Obi).

His name was changed to Obi-Wan Kenobi when he was discovered to be force sensitive. His parents took him to the Stewjoni force users and one of them, an elderly woman, reached into the force to see what the baby's fate was. She concluded that the child had to be given to the Jedi, and sensed the possibility for darkness in his future, so she renamed him Obi-Wan Kenobi, making his name translate literally to Heart-Dark BrightHeart. To symbolize the presence of both darkness and light within the Heart

Obi-Wan has totally called Anakin his bairn just to be able to get away with calling him his son, without anyone being able to chide him for it, and without risking Anakin's training into the Jedi path. He never told anyone what the word meant, not even Anakin.

[jedibongrip]

cheating au and/or marriage of inconvenience please

based on ask game

>:)c

cheating au is where i take obi-wan and beat him into a fine paste. he's in a long term relationship with qui gon, since he was very young, and one day finds qui gon cheating on him with some twink (who is the same age as when obi-wan and qui gon met) and it basically ruins obi-wan's life. a few years later he meets anakin but is he obi-wan's perfect match?

marriage of inconvenience is a fic where stewjoni senator/noble (but not direct royalty i think) obi wan marries anakin, prince of tattooine to secure mining, shipping, and trade rights during the galactic civil war. anakin's mother doesn't want anakin to travel while there's a galactic war, so they get married by proxy, and honestly, obi-wan kind of forgets about it. obi-wan thinks the marriage is in name only, just for legal stuff, and its only years later when he meets his husband for the first time that he realizes that anakin doesn't view it the same way...

cheating au snippet:

This betrayal is more than just hurtful, though it certainly is that. It’s humiliating. Everyone told Obi-Wan this would happen, that if Qui-Gon picked Obi-Wan out of a crowd, soon his eyes would stray to someone younger, perkier, prettier. Obi-Wan had ignored them, told everyone that they were wrong. Surely, Qui-Gon would never do such a thing, would never hurt Obi-Wan like that. Surely, all the late night kisses, the soft hand holding, the promises of always, the way he would smile as he ran his hands through Obi-Wan’s hair, surely that all meant something to him, just as it did for Obi-Wan. Surely, fifteen fucking years together counted towards something. Surely, Obi-Wan was loved enough that something as benign as aging wouldn’t change anything. 

Seething at his dining room table, waiting for his partner (and doesn’t that make it worse? Obi-Wan can’t even say his husband, because the man had a ‘principled objection’ to marriage) to finish helping his little whore get dressed, all Obi-Wan can think about is how he found his first grey hair four months ago. He pointed it out with a laugh and said that soon the two of them would be matching. In retrospect, Qui-Gon didn’t seem nearly as amused as Obi-Wan was.

marriage of inconvenience snippet:

So, Obi-Wan got married. Obi-Wan signed and sent off a marriage certificate, and apparently on Tatooine, they held a ceremony with a stand-in for him. He secured a trading deal, a hyperspace route, and mining rights for Stewjon, and by extension, the Republic. Many people thanked him for it, called it a noble sacrifice. The metals were used to build ships, armours, and weapons. The crystals used to power blasters. Some people said that they only won the war because of the fresh supply of resources they acquired. He rarely advertised that this stranger-husband was, at the time, seventeen years old. It made him feel vaguely naseauated, when he thought about it, about the child that now carried his last name. Truly, he doesn’t understand why the Skywalker’s are now deciding that Obi-Wan needs to meet and interact with his husband. Without even asking, Queen Skywalker sent Obi-Wan a polite, but firm, message telling him that Anakin would be en route to Coruscant, as the senate had prorogued and it would be three weeks until the next session began. She followed the message with a docket for when and where Anakin’s ship would land. Then another message with a list of foods that Anakin was either allergic to or didn’t like. The last message had ended with a short, “Take good care of my boy, Kenobi.” Obi-Wan could practically hear her commanding voice from across the galaxy.

[masterkeynobi]

god i can't stop thinking about padmé & sabé & anakin they've consumed my fucking brain like. (partially under a cut bc this gets Long)

queen's shadow establishes several things: first, that sabé is padmé's hands and that padmé is sabé's heart. every other handmaiden has a life planned out after amidala's reign; sabé doesn't, sabé who was the first to be chosen and who will be the last to leave. sabé's own parents don't call her tsabin anymore. sabé, in short, is sabé before she is anything else.

second: padmé is invested in the freeing of slaves. padmé is a pacifist. padmé broke ties with captain panaka because she only ever advocates for violence in self-defense. padmé naberrie would have gone to tatooine herself — but she is padmé amidala, and she must be senator, and so she sends sabé in her stead.

on tatooine sabé goes by tsabin and it doesn't feel right. she & tonra go about things the wrong way, lose the trust of the locals, cannot find shmi skywalker. twenty-five people isn't nothing, but it's not nearly enough, either. she doesn't find shmi skywalker. she's unhappy; tonra's unhappy; it's a failure. but padmé calls from coruscant — padmé has other priorities — and sabé goes.

senator amidala is not the queen. the voice is different; the clothing is different; it's taking down the walls built up over four years of a reign and rearranging them to form something new. worth noting, too, that amidala's voice as queen was formed from all herself & her girls, was formed from sabé more than anything. senator amidala is imitable, still, but is padmé. padmé can remake herself, did it once at fourteen and lived by it, but — coruscant is hard. her peers discuss politics as though they are philosophies and not people impacted. she thinks: this is not me.

for the first time since all those years ago, giggling children in a shared bedroom, sabé and padmé aren't attached at the hip. sabé is padmé's eyes and ears on coruscant; she isn't there to watch the senator's day-to-day growth, but still. they are familiar. padmé is herself and amidala; sabé is herself and tsabin. they are each other's peace, each other's steadiness, and they navigate the upper and lower levels of coruscant together with each other as their anchors.

time passes. the galaxy goes to war. padmé meets anakin.

here's the thing about anakin skywalker: the way he sees the world is inextricable from the fact that he spent his most formative years couched in horrific exploitation. anakin grows up wanting more than anything to have full control over himself and his surroundings. anakin curls around those he loves like a dragon, possessive, protective. service, to anakin who was born a slave, will never not feel like violence. possession is all he understands. anakin skywalker is in love with padmé.

& sabé, too, is in love with padmé. but sabé's devotion is boundless and without expectation. she says my hands are yours — my life is yours, should you ask for it — and knows down to her bones the implications of her fealty. she would die for padmé and padmé would let her and that's a choice she would make a hundred times over. she doesn't want pity for it. she kisses tonra and loves padmé and has no trouble reconciling these two things.

the galaxy is at war; padmé marries anakin and tells no one.

sabé isn't around for geonosis or its aftermath. sabé is on tatooine, doing things the right way this time around, settling in and gaining the trust of the people who live there. she sets herself and tonra (a couple. partners. equals, truly, in a way she and padmé have never been) up as a pair to be trusted to get slaves offplanet. not because they've been ordered to, this time, or because they're looking for shmi, but because it's simply the right thing to do. their quality of life suffers — they are naboo — but it's so fulfilling for both of them, a task they want to dedicate time and effort to.

padmé calls sabé and sabé knows before she picks up that she'll be asked back to coruscant. her hands have always been padmé's. she goes.

padmé is different now, though. is hiding something. sabé catalogs her fake smiles and doesn't know why she's wearing the mask of amidala, doesn't quite understand her anymore, and though both of them speak of things being just like old times — sabé, playing decoy while padmé gallivants off to be brilliant — it rings false. padmé has changed. sabé doesn't know senator amidala. there's something padmé isn't telling her, padmé who kept no secrets, whom sabé knew better than she knows herself.

sabé hates coruscant, she realizes. hates playing senator and stumbles around the chancellor and desperately doesn't want to lose herself in politics the way padmé almost has. (it is easier now, padmé says, to think of politics as ideas and not people. is that bad?)

your husband says hello, says sabé, brushing through padmé's hair. sabé's love for padmé has never been possessive, has never needed reciprocation, has only ever been loyalty and devotion and time spent so close together they might as well be the same person. but padmé didn't tell her. she only found out because the man himself barged into her bedroom and almost choked her out. the issue isn't that padmé's in love with someone else, it's that she didn't even tell her. the padmé she knew (the padmé who was hers, more or less! shared faces and shared goals for years on end) isn't the padmé of the present. the padmé of the present is anakin skywalker's wife.

still, for sabé, unrequitedness doesn't have to mean heartbreak. she talks to padmé, says anakin — scares her a little, honestly. padmé mentions an incident with the tuskens. sabé goes still, because they're talking about that massacre on the other side of the planet.

isn't that the funny thing, though? that sabé knows tatooine, now, better than the prodigal son of its suns? padmé sent her there, dear pacifist senator amidala, padmé who wanted post-election to free slaves, but it is sabé in the end who's doing the freeing. sabé has been padmé's hands for years; sabé does her dirty work and finds personal fulfillment in it. sabé frees slaves because she wants to do it. because it's right.

sabé leaves padmé's service that very night — my hands are yours. please don't ask me for them again. — and goes back to tatooine. & when she returns there she finds that the white suns have reached out; she greets tonra and she smiles. there is work to be done and she will do it as herself, casting her own shadow.

padmé amidala is married to anakin skywalker — who, it has to be said, never freed anyone who wasn't himself. anakin who doesn't even really know tatooine at all, anakin whose genius could have dismantled the slave chips the white suns come to tonra about in the blink of an eye, anakin, born in the desert, who lands on tatooine and ignites his lightsaber and leaves with blood on his hands and darkness in his heart. and padmé marries him. and padmé pulls sabé off tatooine and asks her to stay on coruscant and sabé says no.

[phoenixyfriend]

Star Wars: Project Runway AU

I feel like I definitely should have talked about a Project Runway AU at some point on tumblr, but I cannot recall doing so.

Okay so. Obviously prequels era because duh.

Mentor: Obi-Wan, more Gunn than Siriano (Unfortunate, because Siriano is a delightful gremlin, but Obi-Wan's really more Gunn.)

Host: Fox (he has many opinions)

Main Judges:

Bail: Head designer at a prestigious fashion brand

Padmé: Former supermodel who started her own fashion line after retiring with the birth of her twins

Mace: Editor-in-Chief for a major fashion magazine (yes, he's the Nina)

Guest Judges include:

Jocasta Nu: Finale judge, very Diane von Furstenberg

Riyo Chuchi: Actress, known for her accessories at red carpet events

Shaak Ti: Retired supermodel

Mon Mothma: Fashion journalist

Satine Kryze: Politician known for her style and her major support of environmentally-conscious fashion movements

Breha Organa: Broadway star

Dooku: Head of Serenno fashion house

Contestants:

Anakin: tends to work at lot with leathers and architectural elements

Bly: fashionista trans lady Bly is not mine, but a piece that @meerlichts shared recently has me going with 'brightly colored professional minimalism.' (Fashionista trans lady Bly belongs to @petrichordiam)

Aayla: very similar to the designs by Victoria Cocieru in (S18), I think. Assymetrical, heavy on the cutouts, usually somewhere between saturated and pastels, which contrasts with her own fashion (dark, textured leather).

Ahsoka: youngest competitor, often gets critiqued for her designs skewing towards a teenage/college demographic that isn't as palatable to older shoppers with more disposable income

Kix: heavy usage of armor-inspired elements; argues with judges on the basis of pragmatism over aesthetic for clothing, but also gets really invested in complicated hair looks and accessories

Ferus Olin: minimalist, usage of clean lines and limited palettes; it's very pretty, but gets critiqued as a little boring and repetitive. I'd compare him to Tessa Clark (S17)

Barriss: a modesty designer in the vein of Ayana Ife (S16)

Krell: competes, but is such an asshole, complete with sabotage, that he gets asked to leave, or even chooses to do so himself (it's happened a few times!)

Fives: known for a use of absolutely riotous levels of color, very clever in terms of color blocking, prints, and design. He's inconsistent when it comes to his finishes and structure, though, and has a tendency to run out of time, so he gets dinged for garments legitimately coming apart on the runway when a brisk walk was too much stress on the seams.

Quinlan: primarily a sports and athleisure designer, struggles with the red carpet challenges

Bo-Katan: clashes with Kix because they both have very military-inspired styles, but in different ways; she has a much heavier use of boning and structural components, with less of Kix's flair

Thrawn: pretentious and old-fashioned in terms of style, but impeccable structure and skill, so he makes it to the finale based in large part on his grasp of technical aspects, much like S18's Sergio Guadarrama

Yané: Specializes in mega flowy things for the AU. We're talking chiffons, organza, lace. A whiz with silk charmeuse, which everyone is incredibly jealous of because seriously? How.

Kit Fisto: plays a lot with geometric prints and draws heavily on Caribbean traditional clothes and streetwear

I want someone who's a bit like Samantha Rei (S16, lolita fashion-y personal style with either jewel tones or bright, saturated colors and big skirts), and someone with a bit of... one of the people that really specializes immensely with tailoring (I want to say... Kenya Freeman, S16). Since this show usually has 16 designers per season, that would really round us out, I think.

Most of the Naboo handmaidens are models for the show, as are some of the clones. I want the S16+ standard of having a variety of body types, but I'm not sure who would be included in that on account of like... SW isn't big on body type diversity.

[shadowmaat]

Mine Mine Mine

If you asked Anakin (once he stopped denying involvement), he'd say he sabotaged Obi-Wan's attempted relationships for his own good. After all, tHe OrDeR fOrBiDs AtTaChMeNtS, and if he'd gotten caught he might have been driven out! And then were would Anakin be??

But the truth is that Anakin refuses to share. Obi-Wan is HIS and can belong to no other, no matter WHAT the circumstances. And really, can you blame him? Anakin was a slave, you know, and slaves have so little that they hold tight to whatever they DO have. Especially people.

Shmi, had she known, would have been disappointed to realize that all Anakin got from those particular lessons she tried to teach him was "What's mine is mine and must never appear to belong to anyone else."

Oh, slaves do hold tight to things, no question, but they're also very good at letting go. A slave who can't let go is one who'll face a whipping or worse. And "mine" must never refer to people. The idea that you can own people is a Depur/Master thing and is very dangerous thinking. Shmi might call Anakin "my little Ani," but what would have happened if she'd been unwilling to let him go with the Jedi? (Potentially a lot less death, but you get the drift.)

Shmi, I think, would have understood the difference between "attachment" and "affection." Affection is free-spirited, containing no expectations and causing no harm. Attachment is what chains do, binding something to you irrevocably. If you aren't careful, it will drag both of you down to your doom.

("Depur" is a term that originated with @fialleril part of her Tatooine culture worldbuilding. Thank you to her and to the anon who traced that for me)

[chamomileteainabuttercup]

beboots

How about Jangobi, with 4, 16, 36, 37?

Thanks for playing!  This one is a little bit of a challenge because, as I noted before, this is a ship I don’t really think about unless a particular gifset reappears on my dash and then I think about it for like fifteen minutes.  Getting it to work requires changing the plot quite a lot, of course, and I prefer to get the changes going from the very start of their interaction. 

4.  First impression of each other? Was it love at first sight?

Temuera Morrison has noted that at the beginning of the scene, his “hospitable Māori” impulse was to offer Obi-Wan a cup of tea, but since he wasn’t sure they have cups of tea in space he decided to just stick to the script.  

So in my version, he does offer him a cup of tea and Obi-Wan accepts and so they sit down with their tea and it’s all rather disarming.  Obi-Wan is still highly suspicious of Jango (which is only sensible) and Jango is still playing everything very close to the chest, but the mood is slightly softened by the sharing of tea - and if they’re feeling lavish, biscuits too.  Obi-Wan’s head is full of questions, like “What sort of man is this?  Ruthless bastard, or perhaps not totally ruthless, given the little boy?  Was he involved in an assassination attempt on a rather good friend of mine?  What can I find out about all this cloning business from him without letting him know how little I knew in the first place?” while Jango has two main questions, “How much does he know?” and “Am I going to have to do something about him?”  And he’d rather not have to do something about him, because he likes the look of him and this kind of cagey verbal game-playing is his idea of a bit of light fun.  Then again, he is a Jedi and they generally spell trouble - but there’s no reason not to enjoy being around him while the opportunity lasts. 

Oh, and while this conversation is going on, Boba is sitting on the floor nearby playing with his space Lego and every time Obi-Wan glances that way he’s looking daggers of suspicion at him.  Obi-Wan actually finds it rather amusing to be glared at like that by a cute little kid (he’s like an angry kitten) so he just smiles back and twinkles his eyes at him (Boba looks disgusted), and asks Jango how old his son is, and they agree that eleven’s a very nice age, before all the teen angst begins. 

Jango says calmly, “I’m not expecting to have much trouble with Boba,” and Obi-Wan replies, “Ha!  I wasn’t expecting to have this much trouble with Anakin,” so that gets them onto the difficulties and rewards of bringing up a bright and adventurous boy, whether as his dad or as a sort of older brother figure, and sharing stories about things Boba and Anakin have said and done, and before Obi-Wan knows it they’ve been chatting for an hour and he’s got completely side-tracked from finding out about clone skulduggery and has slipped into flirting with Jango fairly shamelessly.  Which doesn’t necessarily mean anything, Obi-Wan will flirt with more or less anything that can talk back, but he’s realising that there’s an awful lot of charisma about Jango and he’s beginning to feel fascinated. 

So no love at first sight, but in later years (because they do have later years together, Jango doesn’t lose his head) Obi-Wan likes to say, “You had me at ‘cuppa tea?’”

(but he really sealed the deal when he offered him a Tim Tam)

16.  Do they keep secrets? Lie? Cheat?

To start out, Jango is keeping all sorts of secrets and lies freely whenever he considers it necessary, or just convenient.  It’s only gradually, as he grows to like Obi-Wan personally more and more, that he begins to want to be honest with him.  For a while they have one of those “frenemies who encounter one another occasionally and engage in flirtatious banter and/or homoerotic combat” type relationships, but over the course of the Clone Wars as they meet again and again they get into situations where they need to trust and help each other, and Jango has cut ties with the Separatists because he prefers to be a free agent, and Obi-Wan begins to hope that if he had a strong enough personal reason, Jango might want to lay off the shady business and... and there he runs up against the fact that he shouldn’t be thinking in these terms, he can’t have that sort of relationship with Jango any more than he could with Satine, he just really really wants to.  And at least Jango doesn’t have a philosophical or ethical problem with violence. 

Obi-Wan isn’t actually celibate, he squares it with himself that his flirtations and anonymous hook-ups aren’t deep attachments or possessive relationships and therefore they are within the letter if not entirely the spirit of the rules, and the first few times it happens with Jango that justification works, but it starts to wear thin when he realises how much he misses him after he leaves.  When Jango, thinking he’ll surprise Obi-Wan when he unexpectedly sees him in a bar, walks in on one such hook-up, he’s angry and upset and Obi-Wan is rather shocked and thrilled to realise Jango considers this cheating, that he cares  enough to have hurt feelings about it.  He’d been thinking of himself as emotionally compromised without quite realising Jango couldn’t just take or leave him.  That’s really the “Oh” moment for Obi-Wan. 

So after a while they’re not keeping secrets from each other, but Obi-Wan is working very hard to keep the relationship a secret from the other Jedi, including his closest friends, and telling a lot of lies in the process (there is at least one comedy episode wherein Obi-Wan is trying to sneak away to see Jango and Anakin is trying to sneak away to see Padmé and each keeps getting in the other’s way without ever realising there is sneakiness on the other side). 

Not to mention keeping it a secret from all the clones.  Boy, is that a weird situation. 

36.  What’s their greatest strength as a couple? Their weakness?

They have excellent chemistry and both love sparking off each other, verbally and/or more physically.  They always find each other exciting and interesting.  Not so much a weakness as an obstacle is the fact that Boba still really doesn’t like Obi-Wan and doesn’t need a stepdad and thinks he has stupid hair (that part really stings).  He’s always been the apple of his father’s eye and never had to share his attention with anyone else he really cared about, so his dad actually falling in love with someone makes him feel insecure and jealous and grumpy.  Obi-Wan’s attempts to win him over are complicated by the fact that he can’t actually explain to anyone else why he’s trying so hard to be nice to snotty teen bounty hunting prodigy Boba Fett.  Boba really enjoys holding this over his head - but will never actually drop the blade because, as little as he likes his dad’s boyfriend, he is just grown-up enough to realise it would really hurt his dad if he spoiled things for them, and he doesn’t want to go that far.

37.  How much would they be willing to sacrifice for the other? Any lines they refuse to cross?

That’s the big problem, isn’t it?  Crossing lines.  Obi-Wan has a very strong moral, religious and cultural code, and he can’t sacrifice that without undoing his whole sense of identity.  He can be dangerously complacent about the rightness of the Jedi Order and the Republic it defends and persists in believing that if Jango only understood more about the Jedi he would accept that rightness.  From his perspective it often appears as if Jango doesn’t have a moral code at all. 

From Jango’s point of view, yes he does, but it’s very pragmatic and based more on principles of loyalty and personal integrity than on adherence to any laws or rules.  If he’s true to himself and to the small circle of people he cares about, that’s all that matters.  He cannot and will not compromise on his duty to Boba as a father, and that comes before even all those complicated issues of Mandalorian politics - but those issues will inevitably cause problems for them too, particularly given that even if he’s been able to get over his romantic feelings for Satine as his feelings for Jango grew, she’s still one of Obi-Wan’s oldest and dearest friends and he doesn’t want her to be overthrown.  And of course Jango is far from the only person who might want to overthrow her. 

Somehow all this is going to eventually involve a lightsaber/Darksaber duel between Maul and Jango in the Mandalorian throne room.  Holy shit that would be cool.  Fuck yeah!

uhhhh I don’t know whether or how any of this gets resolved but there’ll be ANGST and STURM UND DRANG and other German words for heavy shit.

[allthingskenobi]

Obi-Wan in Exile – Owen Lars

(Originally published on AllThingsKenobi.com January 10, 2021)

Welcome to the second in a series of looks into Obi-Wan Kenobi’s time in exile on Tatooine between Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith and Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope. We’ve tried to mine as much Legends and canon material as possible to help guide you through some of the period’s most common and repetitive themes so that when the new Obi-Wan Kenobi series airs, you’ll be ready.

Not everything he ever did in the entire 19 years will be explored here, but as we said, we’ve tried our best to pick out the most prominent and impactful moments to give everyone a better understanding of exactly what one hermit had to endure out there all alone in the sandy deserts of Tatooine.

There’s no way around it: Owen Lars hated Obi-Wan Kenobi. But why? A young Luke Skywalker could have benefited greatly from the two men working together, but it was not to be so. Here we will look at just a few of the many times the Jedi was rejected by the hardened moisture farmer in an attempt to understand just how fraught with tension their relationship really was.

“That wizard’s just a crazy old man.”

STAR WARS EPISODE IV: A NEW HOPE C

Owen Lars was the very first person to ever paint a picture for us of the now-illustrious Obi-Wan Kenobi, and this is what he had to say about him. Though we, alongside Luke, quickly recognize Owen’s words for the untruths they are, we were left to wonder exactly where the animosity, and possible bad blood, between the two men began. Especially since well up until Attack of the Clones was released, Owen was Obi-Wan’s biological brother (as confirmed in original drafts of Return of the Jedi), which made the exchange all the more tragic.

“But what if this Obi-Wan comes looking for him?”

“He won’t, I don’t think he exists any more. He died about the same time as your father.”

STAR WARS EPISODE IV: A NEW HOPE C

Owen continues to try and deter Luke by point-blank telling him that Obi-Wan is dead. It’s another clear falsehood that, at the time, carried little to no weight until twenty-eight years later when we witnessed the “deaths” of both Anakin and Obi-Wan on the slopes of Mustafar in Revenge of the Sith. But that’s a story for another time…

“He makes his terms abundantly clear: “We’ll take him in, but you’ll play no part in his upbringing. If you have to stay on Tatooine, you keep your distance, do you hear? You neither see the boy nor speak to him. He must know nothing about his father.”

“TIME OF DEATH” – FROM A CERTAIN POINT OF VIEW C

“Obi-Wan was glad and relieved that Beru and Owen agreed to raise Luke, but his mission did not end there, as it was also his duty to watch over the boy. He had thought that his ongoing presence would be some comfort to Owen and Beru. He soon learned that he was mistaken.”

LIFE AND LEGEND OF OBI-WAN KENOBI L

Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

From the moment Obi-Wan arrived on Tatooine with a newborn Luke Skywalker, Owen made it abundantly clear that the Jedi would have nothing to do with the child. It was an unfair set of terms that Obi-Wan, while doing his best to adhere to, would breach with regular frequency, often pushing his already contentious relationship with the farmer to its breaking point.

Over the years, not only would Obi-Wan often be forced into interceding on the family’s behalf as protection (much to Owen’s chagrin), but he would also willingly cross the line to try and form a relationship with Luke from afar. Whether it was a simple gift of parts for Luke’s skyhopper (1) or a handmade wooden toy (2), the attempts would be vehemently denied and Obi-Wan would find himself right back where he started.

Star Wars 15 C

Was Owen right to be concerned that trouble would follow Obi-Wan back to Luke and their homestead? Of course. Obi-Wan understands and even acknowledges that his watchful gaze could attract attention (3), so he backs off, moving farther out into the Jundland Wastes until the time comes when he is needed. (3)(4) But Owen took his concerns above and beyond, twisting reason into a deep-seated personal hatred of the other man.

“The hut was approximately 136 kilometers from the Lars homestead—farther than Obi-Wan would have preferred, but probably still too close to satisfy Owen Lars.”

LIFE AND LEGEND OF OBI-WAN KENOBI L

“I managed to steer clear of Owen Lars this time. The man doesn’t like me at all.”

KENOBI L

“I’d always believed – always hoped – that Owen’s anger would cool toward me, that one day I would be allowed to train young Luke in the ways of the Force.”

“TIME OF DEATH” – FROM A CERTAIN POINT OF VIEW C

“Old Wounds” – Star Wars Visionaries L

Why? Why did Owen Lars hate Obi-Wan Kenobi so much? First and foremost, he placed the blame of Anakin’s downfall solely on Obi-Wan, going so far as to accuse Obi-Wan of “murder.” (1) It’s interesting to say the least that Owen would have such strong opinions about a man he’d only met once (5), but it seems to become more clear when you take into consideration that Owen adored his step-mother, Shmi. But while Shmi no doubt loved her adoptive family, she often spent her time looking to the horizon waiting for the day when Anakin would return. (6) So for Obi-Wan to have lost Shmi’s beloved son might have been too much for Owen to bear.

We’ll discuss this more in depth later, but Owen even removed Shmi’s headstone, along with the stones of other family members, so that Obi-Wan could no longer visit the site. (7) Consequently, it also ensured that Luke would never know about his grandmother. At least not while he lived at the homestead.

“If killing me would have brought [Anakin’s] mother back to life, I know he would have killed me then and there. I could see it in his eyes.”

LIFE AND LEGEND OF OBI-WAN KENOBI L

At some point, Owen also seemed to have distrusted the Jedi as a whole. It was a prejudice formed the day he watched an angry and unrepentant Anakin Skywalker return from slaughtering a village of Sand People. (2) That being his only interaction with a Jedi before Obi-Wan came along, Owen didn’t want Luke to have anything to do with what he saw in Anakin that day.

“Everyone was stunned when Owen abruptly told Ben to leave and not to come back. The experience had left Luke baffled. Even now, some ten years after the incident, he still did not know why Owen had been so angry with Ben. From what little he knew, he assumed that Ben’s purpose on Tatooine had been to discreetly watch over him while Owen and Beru raised him as if he were an ordinary child, not the son of a Jedi-turned-Sith Lord. But if both Ben and Owen had been responsible for protecting Luke, why hadn’t they gotten along? Luke could only imagine why Owen had so aggressively objected to Ben’s presence. Luke remembered listening to conversations between his uncle and aunt, practically spying on them, hoping to hear any small detail about his father or Ben Kenobi. Owen and Beru never revealed much but merely reinforced that they preferred not to discuss either man.”

LIFE AND LEGEND OF OBI-WAN KENOBI L

Luke cheers, running full pelt toward me, arms as wide as his smile. There is a crunch behind me and I turn, Owen’s fist burying itself in my nose. I slam down hard on the ground, the lightsaber skittering from my hand. All my training, all my experience, and a humble moisture farmer has achieved what neither battle droid nor Sith has achieved, knocking me flat on my back.

“Uncle Owen!” Luke cries in confusion as his uncle manhandles the boy toward his aunt before turning to glower at me.

“Go,” he all but spits, an accusatory finger punctuating the furious decree. “Get away from here. Haven’t you people done enough to this family?”

“TIME OF DEATH” – FROM A CERTAIN POINT OF VIEW C

Lastly, and most unfortunately, Owen never minded expressing his distaste for Obi-Wan in front of Luke, going so far as to strike Obi-Wan and send him away while the boy watched. Would Owen’s treatment of the strange desert hermit help one day drive a wedge between the boy and his uncle? Maybe. Maybe not. All we do know is that Luke, like his father before him, was already inextricably linked to Obi-Wan Kenobi. And there was nothing Owen Lars could do about it.

Citations:

Star Wars 15 by Jason Aaron C

“Time of Death” – From a Certain Point of View by Cavan Scott C

Kenobi by John Jackson Miller L

Life and Legend of Obi-Wan Kenobi by Ryder Windham L

Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones C

Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones Novelization by R. A. Salvatore L

A New Hope: The Life of Luke Skywalker by Ryder Windham L

[willowcrowned]

For the meme:

She smiles at him, the hint of mirth in her expression matched with the predator’s satisfaction exuding from her every look. “First things first, Obi-Wan. I feel I should clarify that I never intended to become pregnant.”

He tilts his head slightly. “I was not aware,” he says smoothly, “that the Naboo had ethical issues with the termination of pregnancy.”

“We don’t,” she says, “but let’s not distract ourselves from the point at hand.” She pushes out her chair and gets up, not yet pregnant enough to render her graceless, and walks over to sit beside him. “Do you know what he said the first time I asked him how our political system should work?”

Obi-Wan cringes instinctively. He remembers Anakin’s thoughts on bureaucracy as a teenager, slowly growing more and more supportive of the ruthless militaristic sensibilities that Palpatine had clearly favored and yet unable to defend any of his points with the grace and eloquence expected of him.

“He said that people should sit down and actually talk about the problems.”

“Oh dear,” Obi-Wan murmurs.

“And that if they couldn’t, someone should make them.”

Obi-Wan lets the blow hit, willing himself not to grimace, and looks down, away from her. “He... has shown an affinity towards expediency over empathy.”

Padmé snorts, a sound that so completely startles him coming from her that he refocuses on her face. “He was arguing in favor of fascism, Obi-Wan. Let’s not mince words.”

Obi-Wan sighs. “I was being politic.”

“I’m his wife. You’re his friend. If we can’t acknowledge his faults without ‘being politic’ then we’ve already failed him.”

Obi-Wan concedes the point by inclining his head slightly, allowing her to continue.

“In any case,” she continues, “when I asked him who he thought should ‘make them’— his words, not mine— he said ‘Not me. Someone wise.’ I confess that, until that moment, I had been on the verge of sending for a different Jedi and suggesting very strongly that the Council keep a closer eye on him.”

Obi-Wan gives her a look. “Yes, he does have his moments of self-awareness.”

“He does,” she agrees, a genuine smile pulling at her lips, but her expression soon sobers as she refocuses her attention on Obi-Wan. “Do you know how large the political and commercial influence of a former queen of Naboo, let alone a senator for the entire sector, is?”

[Send me a <500 word snippet of my fic and I'll give you the equivalent of a DVD commentary track]

Of Love, Peace, and Restraint

Back in January, when I was writing this, I was very interested in the idea that a lot of what we see of Padmé in the films is from Anakin's perspective, and that a lot of who she is is obscured by Anakin's romance-cum-obsession. Writing OLPR was my way of sort of... negotiating with that—figuring out the kinks of who she might have been otherwise.

OLPR is very consumed with the idea that there's a lot going on outside Anakin's periphery, specifically with the people he cares about. Obi-Wan and Padmé do sort of exist to serve his character development in the movies—at the very least, George Lucas is much, much less interested in them than he is in Anakin—so reframing that as "the movies are interested in Anakin because Anakin is the viewpoint character, and Anakin is mostly interested in Anakin" made it possible to start mocking up my own character concepts for them, still in line with who they are in the movies, but a little more nuanced.

This snippet in particular is the lead up to Obi-Wan figuring out why Padmé is interested in Anakin romantically. As with the rest of the fic, it's fairly consumed with illustrating that there's a lot more going on with Obi-Wan and Padmé beneath the surface, and that the reason Anakin never picks up on it is because it's very subtle—all allusions and tiny gestures, and very very little plain speech. But the main focus of it is confronting the fact that Padmé willingly chose to marry a guy who thought fascism was the word of god.

In Smoke Raised with the Fume of Sighs, I go a very different route, and have her be a little... hm, I think the technical term is 'so out of her mind with loneliness and obsessed with love that she's willing to find excuses for almost everything provided she knows somebody loves her.' Here, there's still a lot of that—Padmé is finding excuses for him, and it's because she wants somebody to love her that she knows she can trust—but she also has a lot more faith in his goodness.

Part of the reason she does have that faith is because Anakin never Fell and killed children (which: yes I know he kills Tusken children, but I'd forgotten Padmé knew that when I wrote this), but part of it is that she just... doesn't think he wants to or is capable of seizing power for himself. And he doesn't! And he's not!

Obi-Wan knows this—and knows it very well—but he's still convinced Padmé is the normal sort of madly in love with him, and he can't picture her being fulfilled with him, because, well, Anakin doesn't operate the way Obi-Wan and Padmé do.

Part of the reason he's talking to her is to break up her and Anakin before she hurts Anakin irreparably. Padmé knows that, and knows what she wants, and her acknowledging Anakin's flaws here and then chastising Obi-Wan for refusing to name them (which he can't, because he'd need to reprimand Anakin if he acknowledged they existed, and he knows that reprimands don't work) is her way of proving to him that she can be good for Anakin in a way the Jedi can't be.

Anyways, that was very long and rambly. It's a piece that's very interested in navel gazing, and thinking about it just leads to more navel gazing.

tldr; Padmé's got a little too much faith in Anakin, and she's pulling power moves on Obi-Wan

[officialgomezaddams]

Cabin House

if this dosen’t take im shooting myself $wag no TW except usual sadness. Slight simp anakin and breeding kink but iykyk

She sat outside on the porch in her rocking chair, watching the ship in front of her lower its self onto the meadow surrounding the cabin that she lived in with her husband. She smiled to herself, her hands rubbing her pregnant stomach in relief that he was home. It was a new feeling to both of them, homeliness. A family that is now back together. Or at the very least, the start of one. 

They had met when they were both young, Anakin was in Jedi training, and Y/n was a mechanic at the same temple. It was a decent gig, she reasoned with herself. The many hours and days spent watching and learning from her father in his shop had paid off. 

Born and raised in the capital of the galaxy, the high life never slowed down. There was always loud traffic, busy trade; the planet never slept. Anyone could go to a party or club; some festival was always happening. The temple was different, a little peace in the concrete jungle. As the war started, the need for maintenance shot up—the urgency to fix whatever droids or ships needed to be rewired or mending broken welds. Simultaneously, the Jedi and the politicians tried to restore the balance, maintenance fixing everything else. 

A job was a job, and getting herself out of her father’s small auto body garage was a priority for her. Pulling night shift sucked, but the lack of staff and management who wanted to do nights meant she could get away with a lot. 

It started when the shy padawan walked up to her, the shift partner in the area she worked with was sleeping in his chair, and even tho he was older than her and had more experience, Y/n didn’t wake him up. It was her first real interaction with someone who was force sensitive, and she was thanking the stars that this boy somehow made his way to her.

It wasn’t because he was lost. Anakin had been at the temple long enough to know it by hand and could probably draw blueprints of the entire layout. The way around maintenance wasn’t that hard, as he often borrowed material from them to fix small stuff he could handle. Anakin had caught glimpses of her, he would stare at her for the few seconds it took to pass each other while he was leaving the ship and for maintenance to check it for any repairs that needed to be done.

“What’s up, Starboy?” Y/n teased. Even though she had never met him formally, he was quite well known for his destiny. 

He shuffled his feet around, and all the confidence he once had was gone. He looked at her before looking down at the table she was in front of, watching her set down the wrench she was fiddling with. 

“I need an arm.” He shot out, not even knowing how to ask for such a thing. 

“An arm?” She had responded, wanting to make sure he had said the right thing. “Why do you need an arm-” She asked but quickly stopped as he dropped his robe, and she realized he was missing the very thing he had asked for. “Oh. You need an arm.”

It took about six months for the arm to be built. It took a lot of measurements, calculating, and many, many nights for it to be made giving Anakin time to grow his confidence back up and flirt relentlessly with her. Telling her that it didn’t bother him that he would almost get little to no sleep because ‘being with you is a dream I never want to wake up from.’ On the nights he didn’t see her he would tell her, ‘Even though I couldn’t be with you, I still see you in my dreams. The best dreams I will ever have will always be the ones where you are in it. My dreams with you are so sweet to the violent reality of being a Jedi.’ 

The last night the two spent together working on his arm, or to be honest it was just her while Anakin would pour his heart out to her, hoping for something, a kiss, or even the simple statement that she returned his feelings. 

“If I have any problems with my arm, I’m coming to you. For my arm and my heart, you are the only one who knows how to fix them. Help me Y/n, my heart hurts, it burns for you. Every time I leave you or think about how you aren’t mine it aches. It’s so painful. Fix it, please. Tell me you don’t feel the same way, that your heart beats differently to the tune of mine.” He told her, watching her with doe eyes as she concentrated on wiring the last few things together. 

“Isn’t that against your rules?” 

“Attachment is forbidden, possession is forbidden. Compassion, which I would define as unconditional love, is essential to a Jedi’s life. So you might say I am encouraged to feel this way about you.” He stated, awkwardly biting his lip which made her giggle. 

“In three days, I have time off, maybe then you can teach me about this new teaching, and I can teach you something about how to use the arm.”

Neither of them expected it to be like this. Married and expecting. The moment she had told Anakin the news, he had immediately begun thinking of moving. Getting away from the city life and going somewhere more quiet and peaceful. Somewhere the war could not disturb them, so they landed in Alderaan. The whole planet was pulled right from a painting, and the moment they settled on the cozy cabin, they both realized that after years of running around, they finally found their home. With each other, in their soon-to-be family, and in Alderaan. 

As the ship lowered its self to the ground, the woman awkwardly got out of the chair and stood up, holding onto the wooden frame of the porch. Anakin swiftly got out, smiling from ear to ear as he saw her waiting for him. His feet moved on their own as he ran to her, watching her take careful steps to meet him. Before she knew it, his arms were around her, pulling her into him. “Don’t strain yourself for me.” He whispered, kissing her head. 

She was thirty-three weeks into her pregnancy with twins. The two babies growing safely in her womb had made things more difficult for her in terms of moving around, and she had long forgotten her shoes. 

They didn’t move in right away. They waited until work became difficult for Y/n, getting down to work on something wasn’t easy anymore, and she couldn’t be on her feet for more than an hour and a half until her feet started hurting. On the other hand, Anakin wanted to move in as soon as they got it. ‘You shouldn’t have to work, you’re pregnant with our babies, and I want you to enjoy this.’ He also knew how chatty the maintenance section was and was not looking forward to any rumors that could be spread about his wife. ‘Tell them they are mine. I’m not going to let them disrespect my children by disrespecting you. Tell them that I got you pregnant, that you took me in, and this is what my seed is doing to you.’

“How are you, my angel?” He asked, watching as the moonlight hit her face. He had been gone for most of the pregnancy, being forced to leave after her first doctor’s appointment that confirmed that Y/n was with child. Only then, she was nine weeks far too early to be showing anything. He came back to her a few weeks later, and the first thing he did when he greeted her was to kiss her fourteen-week stomach, but he didn’t stay long. The three days they were together were spent moving quickly into the new house. Only the important things she needed were to stay back at the temple so she could continue with work. They didn’t have much, but Anakin insisted on carrying everything, telling her that she was not even to lift her jewelry box because he didn’t want anything to happen to the babies. 

“Bored. I’ve been itching to get back to work; there’s only so much you can crochet before you want to stab yourself with the needles.” She joked, making them both laugh. 

“And the babies?” He asked, his hands dropping to rub the sides of her stomach. It brought him pride to see her like this. Seeing her carrying his child, seeing her full belly, smiling at the thought of the stretch marks that clung to her round belly, knowing that her body was adjusting well. The few times he was able to see Y/n through the hologram, he always admired his wife’s new changing body.

“Restless. I’m hoping now that you’re home, they’ll calm down for a little bit.” Anakin pulled her into a soft kiss. The whole time he had been away, she and the babies were always on his mind. He would wonder if they were kicking or thinking about what to name them. He would think about Y/n, if she was sleeping and if she was pushing herself too hard. He felt terrible for not being there to hold her hair back through morning sickness or walk her around to make sure she got the proper exercise she needed. He felt so useless. 

“How long do I have you back for?” She asked. It was an impossible question because no matter what time frame they had, it wouldn’t be enough. She just wanted him to be here with her, safe. The only good part about being away from the temple was she got away from all the rumors about her husband being dead or being held somewhere and tortured. She wanted him here in their home, enjoying the moments and milestones that she was going through alone. She had convinced herself that if - stars forbid it- something happened to Anakin, she could do it by herself. She could raise the kids and do what she could to make ends meet. It’d be challenging, and she understood that. But in her opinion, what could be harder than going through this pregnancy alone? Forcing herself to get the rooms ready, forcing her co-workers at the temple to help her in the later stages because she couldn’t depend on Anakin. 

He quietly led her to the house, purposefully ignoring the question because he knew that it wouldn’t be the one she wanted to hear. Only when she asked again as they reached the front door, he answered. “A week. Then I have to go back, and I don’t know where the council is sending me. Probably to Hutta.”

“You’re gonna be here for the births, right?” She pressed, stepping into the warm cabin and away from the cool breeze of the night along with his arms. 

“Y/n, I promise that once our children are born, I will be there for everything,” He reassured her. He knew it was a promise that he couldn’t keep. That the Jedi council would most likely tear him away from his family sooner or later. With war, or keeping the force away from the Darkside, he knew that it would be something. “Don’t look at me like that, Angel. You know how hard this is for me. You knew what you were getting yourself into.” He took a step towards her, but she shook her head and stepped back, turning around and began waddling herself towards the shared bedroom. 

“But I didn’t expect it to be left by myself throughout this.” His wife began, with Anakin following her quickly. “All alone and pregnant just to have you, my husband, show up for a few hours or a few days if I am lucky. Then to have him leave me alone again.”

“Am I not here, in our home when I can be?” 

“Our home?” She raised her voice, “It feels as if you are no more than a guest.” Finally turning around to look at him before walking over to the bed and sitting down facing away from him, looking out the window that gave a view of the spacecraft out front. “Anakin, I want to go back to the Coruscant.”

“Going back wouldn’t change a thing.” His words were forced, trying to stay calm and not lose his temper. He was a good husband, or at least he tried to be. It wasn’t easy - for anyone. But he tried, skipping meetings and purposefully doing stuff to get close to you, reporting ships and droids as broken so he could sit with you as you worked on them. Even now, with the war, just being on the opposite side of the same planet was enough for him. “You know that I can’t control what happens out there. I don’t get to pick and choose when I get to stay home!” His anger was cut off by the sound of her whimper. 

“Y/n, Starlight,” He was cautious with his words now, “Y/n?” She would not face him as he sat down next to her on the corner of the bed, his head down in shame. “Please tell me you don’t regret this.” Any of this, he thought to himself, knowing it was always her who got the short end of the lifestyle they had to hide. 

“Anakin, our love is like the Coruscant. It’s messy at first glance, and it’s hard to understand why it hasn’t just fallen apart in chaos. It doesn’t make any sense. But if you squint hard enough and really focus in,” She began slowly, trying not to fall apart. “You can see how nice and beautiful and all of the great things you can get out of it.” Her lip quivered, and her voice broke, letting the painful tears she was holding in anymore. “But I’m so tired of squinting.”

Neither of them looked at each other. While Y/n cried into her hands, Anakin just sat there, trying to figure out what to do. “I-” The reality that this could be it, this is all about to end, made him re-think his words. Did he miss something? Was he too happy that he was starting a family with the girl he fell in love with at nineteen to realize that she was now, what? Fallen out of love for him while she was right about to give birth? For once, Anakin was speechless. He could still fix this, right? I have to fix this. She’s fucking pregnant with my children. Our children. 

“What do you want then? I’m here, now, Angel. I -I don’t know what you want.” His voice was pitiful, but she was strong. She had to if she was going to do this alone.

“I want you to get in your ship and leave.” 

As soon as she said it, he was protesting, ”Go where? Baby, please, don’t make me go back.” He was the one crying now, tears falling mercilessly down his face, realizing that this was it.

“I don’t care where you go, Anakin. Just- you can’t stay here. You make me too sad.” 

[anakinisvaderisanakin]

Vader and Anakin are the same.

Time to repost my good old meta, cause apparently it’s still necessary and valid as a take.

Vader wants desperately to deny that him and Anakin are the same person, going to any length to separate himself from who he was and what he used to be. But, as the ROTS novelization also tells us and though it is no longer canon, I think it’s a valid way of putting it - Vader knows, somewhere deep down that he is Anakin. He knows he’s still the same man, but he doesn’t want to acknowledge it.

Because that would mean he’s still weak, in the eyes of himself and Palpatine. It would mean he destroyed himself, and what he wants to believe is that what he destroyed was someone else’s life. He wants to see Vader as superior, because glorifying the deprived state he’s currently in is the only way he can handle his own remorse, rectify what he’s done to get there.

If he admits he’s still Anakin, he admits that what he’s done wasn’t making anything better for him. That he himself hurt and scarred the people he loved. He wants to believe Anakin’s persona is separate from his own, that Anakin’s love is somebody else’s love. Even when he draws on his own - Anakin’s - emotions to plunge into the Dark Side, he denies that they’re his.

Still, when he thinks of Padmé or Obi Wan or Ahsoka or Shmi - he always thinks in first person before rectifying it. Because they were his - and even when, as Vader, it’s almost a compulsive thought to add on that “no, they were Anakin’s beloved, not mine,” he deep down knows that’s not true.

Vader hates himself, more than he could ever hate the part of himself he calls Anakin. Because he is Anakin, and the part of himself he refers to as Anakin is the young slave boy from Tatooine. The naive kid, who fell in love with Padmé Amidala and loved her enough to marry her in spite of the Jedi Code. Who shared the most intimate of Force bonds with his Jedi master Obi Wan Kenobi. Who taught Ahsoka Tano in Jedi arts with the care of an older sibling. Who loved his mother Shmi Skywalker so deeply, all he wanted was to free her from slavery.

To Vader, Anakin is the kid who has yet to commit genocide; who has yet to be at the beck and call of the most evil man in the Galaxy. Who has yet to sacrifice a perfectly good state of being - where he’s loved and secure - for a life of misery and agony. He won’t even admit that he’s literally put himself in the place of a slave by obeying Palpatine’s every word.

Because Anakin lost everyone he ever loved. Everyone who ever loved him. Vader wants to tell himself he doesn’t need them, he doesn’t care. But if Vader and Anakin weren’t one and the same, he wouldn’t be pained by Anakin’s memories. He wouldn’t be affected by the thoughts of Padmé, Shmi, Obi Wan or Ahsoka. He would feel nothing when faced with reality; when Ahsoka or Obi Wan are standing in front of him, ready to duel to the death. When the thought of resurrecting Padmé - as a shell of the person she was in life - becomes a possiblity. If Vader weren’t still Anakin, he’d brush it all off. He’d go about his day, with no attachments.

But he does feel. He feels pain, and sorrow, and rage. And if those were not his emotions, because of his connection to the people involved, he’d be empty and unfeeling and void of suffering. And he’s not. When Ahsoka addresses she’ll "won’t leave you, not this time”, he falters. Briefly, and not enough to return fully to the light or to admit to himself who he is and what he has done. But, he does falter and he does hesitate, if just for a moment.

When he strikes Obi Wan down, having told himself for decades he’d be delighted and thrilled to finally rid himself of Obi Wan’s memory - instead, he crumbles. The cry for help, of agony goes out into the Force; so strong that even Yoda can sense it on Dagobah at the other end of the Galaxy.

Even the first instance of this grief, when he’s informed of - and subsequently lied to about - Padmé’s death by Palpatine, he is crushed. If Vader did not care, he would have been unfazed by Padmé’s death. His first step as the man behind the mask is to grieve Anakin Skywalker’s dead wife. Of course, she was the reason he used to justify the heinous acts he committed, but it was never really about that in the end. It became an excuse to glorify his own new state of being.

Vader tells himself he is not Anakin Skywalker, but yet all of the things he feels, all of the things that ground him in his pain and thus in the Dark Side, are Anakin’s grievances; are Anakin’s misgivings. Are Anakin’s losses.

The same thing happens when he’s confronted by the truth that Anakin’s son lived, that Luke Skywalker exists. That there’s a possible future for him, as a father, and he immediately thinks of Luke as his son - despite always pressing the fact that he is Darth Vader, and that Anakin Skywalker is no more.

Subconsciously - and perhaps on some distant and faraway conscious level - despite all the things Vader wants to convince himself; he’s still Anakin. He knows he’s still Anakin. Anakin Skywalker, who’s done despicable, deplorable things. Anakin Skywalker, who has taken uncountable lives - murdered children - all in the name of a misguided sense of justice. A way to cheat himself out of guilt, because having a conscience is for the weak and Anakin does have one.

And to admit that he’s still the same man, would be to admit that Anakin was never a wholly good and pure person to begin with. That Anakin was always damaged, that Anakin was always flawed. To admit the insecurities that Anakin felt - that the thoughts of how he never deserved love, that he was never good enough, that he always wanted more than he had - are all his. That Anakin was never betrayed by anyone but himself.

That’s why it’s not until Luke redeems him, that Anakin can admit who he is.

That every vile thing he’s ever done was all on him, not somebody else named Vader. It is then that he accepts that he is Vader, and that Vader is Anakin, and there never was any real difference. And despite the horrible things Anakin has done, he saved his son and finally did the right thing. Finally did something good, and pure, and utterly selfless. Finally loved someone else enough to sacrifice himself, rather than toss them along the wayside to justify himself.

And that’s how he’s finally coming to terms with the fact that in spite of everything he’s done wrong, of all the mistakes he’s made, he could still do good. He may not be a good person, but he is capable of doing good deeds.

When Anakin stops separating himself into two different personas - who are ultimately one and the same - is when he finally finds peace. Because that’s where he finally admits that Anakin Skywalker ruined his own life by putting himself before everyone he ever cared for. It’s only by accepting that he is Anakin Skywalker and always has been, that he can forgive himself.

[bluescluelessly]

Tossing the Script out the Airlock (and Good Riddance to it)

[Rating: Teen] || hurt/comfort, suspected infidelity, polyamorous relationships, made up Stewjoni biology because George Lucas didn’t say Obi-Wan wasn’t a little weird and if he’s gonna give his birth planet a stupid name then I’m gonna give him stupid biology tweaks, and use of Dai Bendu, the language of the Jedi (translations at the bottom of the post)

tw: mentions of grooming (because Palpatine)

Ships: Bail Organa/Obi-Wan, Bail/Breya, Anakin/Padmé

Palpatine tries to convince Anakin that Padmé is cheating on him with Obi-Wan. Anakin confronts his friend about it, finds out a bit more than he bargained for, and not at all what he was expecting to. 

°|●.*•

From the Revenge of the Sith Novelization:

“That’s why I put you on the Council. If the rumors are true, you may be democracy's last hope.”

Anakin let his chin sink once more to his chest and his eyelids scraped shut. It seemed like he was always somebody’s last hope.

Why did everyone always have to make their problems into his problems? Why can’t people just let him be?

How is he supposed to deal with all this one Padmé could die?

He said slowly, eyes still closed, “you still haven’t told me what this has to do with Obi-Wan.”

“Ah, that – well, that is the difficult part. The disturbing part. It seems that Master Kenobi has been in contact with a certain Senator who is known to be among the leaders of this cabal. Apparently, very close contact. The rumor is that he was seen leaving the Senator’s residence this very morning, at an… unseemly hour.”

“Who?” Anakin opened his eyes and sat forward. “Who is this Senator? Let’s go question him.”

“I’m sorry, Anakin. But the Senator in question is, in fact, a *her*. A woman you know quite well, in fact.”

“You–” He wasn’t hearing this. He couldn’t be. “You mean–”

Anakin choked on her name.

Palpatine gave him a look of melancholy sympathy. “I’m afraid so.”

Anakin coughed his voice back to life. “That’s *impossible!* I would *know*– she doesn’t… she couldn’t–”

“Sometimes the closest,” Palpatine said sadly, “are those who cannot see.”

Revenge of the Sith, Matthew Stover, p. 250

°|●.*•

This is it. Anakin is going to just… ask him. He’s not sure what he’ll do if he finds out Obi-Wan has been sleeping with his wife, but…

Well, he’ll figure that out if it’s true.

He went to Padmé’s apartment, felt for himself the evidence that Obi-Wan had been there.

Now, he needs the truth. He needs to be wrong.

“So… I heard you spent a late night with a senator,” he asks, trying not to sound overly accusing. Obi-Wan always gives him the benefit of the doubt.

Several emotions flicker across Obi-Wan’s face then. He eventually fixes his gaze on Anakin, a modicum of panic in his eyes. Anakin’s heart sinks.

The next words out of his old Master’s mouth, however, catch him by surprise.

“You… know about Bail?”

Anakin’s eyes go wide. No, he didn’t–

– but he can’t help thinking he knew it, it was a male senator –

– “Bail?” He blurts out, confusion showing. “No, Palpatine said–”

“– Palpatine saw me with Bail?” Obi-Wan asks, his voice rising an octave.

“No–” Anakin insists, hands going up in a placating gesture. “Not– I didn’t know about Bail. I uh. Palpatine told me he heard you were seen leaving Padmé Amidala’s Apartment.” He explains, and some of the worry drains from Obi-Wan.

“Oh,” he says, sounding infinitely relieved. “No, I, er. Well, I definitely haven’t been making ‘late visits’ to Senator Amidala.” He gives Anakin a curious sort of look. “I hear she’s spoken for, not that I would pursue her, in any case. It would be… awkward.”

“Awkward?” Anakin asks, feeling as if he’s missing something.

Obi-Wan gives a tired sort of smile. “Besides the fact that my preference is not for the fairer sex; she once made an advance, and I turned her down.” Seeing Anakin’s flaring temper, he is quick to clarify, “long before your knighting, Anakin. But, as I said, awkward.”

Anakin nods, appeased. Then, he remembers there’s a more important topic to focus on here. “So… Bail?”

The reaction is immediate; Obi-Wan’s face blushing a dark red as he looks away. “Yes, I– if you could keep that to yourself, I’d appreciate it.”

To hell with it, Anakin thinks. “Sure Master, I’ll keep your senator a secret if you keep mine.”

“The fact that you think your relationship with Senator Amidala is a secret is adorable,” Obi-Wan responds, a glint of amusement in his eye. “Half the council is still asking me why they weren’t invited to the wedding; I can’t give them an answer, as I wasn’t invited either.”

Anakin looks shocked by that information, which is truly endearing. “Wait, they aren’t mad?”

Obi-Wan shakes his head. “You proved to me that you could put responsibility over your wife on Geonosis. Relationships aren’t forbidden so long as there’s not an unhealthy attachment involved. Anyways, we’ve always bent the rules a bit for you.”

Anakin feels as if a weight has been removed from his shoulders. A weight that Palpatine put there, he thinks.

The old man has been wrong about the Jedi on two accounts now… why does Anakin hold what he says about the Jedi in such regard?

Perhaps he should fact-check more of the Chancellor’s absurd claims.

“Ah.” Anakin responds intelligently. “… so why does your, um, thing with Bail need to stay a secret?”

Obi-Wan’s red cheeks return once more. “Well. A… few reasons. Not that I think I’d be in trouble for it, but… I’d like to respect Bail’s privacy. He is, after all, Married.”

“Does Breha not know?”

“She knows,” Obi-Wan assures his former Padawan. “I wouldn’t agree otherwise. But that doesn’t mean they want the whole senate knowing about their … arrangement with me; or others.”

Again, Anakin nods to show his understanding. “The less people who know, the better. Right…”

“Exactly.”

“Still,” Anakin starts, bemused, “I didn’t take you for the 'mistress’ type.”

A complicated flurry of emotions cross his friend’s face. “… neither do I,” he responds, a little clipped. “I think of myself more as Bail’s type.”

Anakin realizes how insensitive that came off a bit too late. “I’m sorry–”

Obi-Wan waves him off. “It’s difficult to understand when I haven’t explained. Bail is Bi; he generally prefers men, but his heart belongs fully to Breha. I prefer men as well, and I have… a condition… so we came to a mutually beneficial arrangement, in which Bail and I enjoy one another while on Coruscant, as he and Breha cannot be together as often as they’d like to be.”

Anakin gets all that, he does. But one thing sticks out to him that he feels needs to be clarified. “You have a condition?” Is Obi-Wan sick?

If its possible, Obi-Wan grows more embarrassed. “Well, I’m from Stewjon.”

That clears nothing up.

At Anakin’s clueless expression, Obi-Wan sighs and explains. “Right, quick biology lesson. Somewhere down the evolutionary line, it was decided that Stewjonians need more incentive to reproduce. So, while it isn’t necessary in order to live out a full, average life span, our bodies naturally produce more beneficial hormones during sexual intercouse. This means, the more I…” he pauses, looking displeased by the verbal corner he’s painted himself into. “… get laid, the slower I age, the faster I heal, and the less sleep I need. All beneficial to fighting a war, yes?”

That’s all news to Anakin. Fascinating. “So do you have… other arrangements too?”

Obi-Wan shakes his head. “As of now, just Bail. I could, of course, visit the lower levels to the same effect, but I find it safer and more preferable to have intercourse with someone I like and trust.” Less likely to catch something that way, too.

Anakin nods, strange mixtures of relief and utter confusion swirling in his mind. At least he knows Obi-Wan has no interest in Padmé… but that doesn’t explain the way he felt his presence in the force, in her apartment.

“Okay. Uh.” He hesitates, knowing there’s no real, good way to word this. “Just… to be 100% clear, you’re not having secret meetings with Padmé in an attempt to overthrow Palpatine and the Senate?”

The look Obi-Wan gives Anakin would make someone think he had just grown a second head.

“… no, wherever did you hear such nonsense?”

Anakin rubs the back of his neck, feeling the last bit of worry ebb away. “Just rumors.”

Obi-Wan shakes his head. “Truly, the Senate gossip gets wildly out of hand. I’ll admit, I do on occasion have tea with Padmé, but there’s nothing treasonous about friends visiting one another and trading stories and doing each other’s makeup from time to time.” He pauses. “And while neither of us have very high opinions on Chancellor Palpatine’s term, there’s no plot against him, as far as I am aware. We are both just eager for this war to end, and for him to release his emergency powers so the Republic can return to democracy.”

“You think his rule is undemocratic?” Anakin asks, looking appalled by the idea.

“He’s been in power long past his elected term,” Obi-Wan points out. “A new Chancellor should have been elected already. Over this time, he has used the war to gain far more emergency powers than any one person should hold.”

Sensing Anakin’s impending argument, he continues. “… Of course, this makes it far simpler to fight a war; I simply worry that when the war has ended… he won’t give up his power so easily. He has resisted peace talks, and every other attempt to bring this war to an end sooner. So I… have concerns.” He gives Anakin a tired sort of smile. “But last I checked, he hasn’t yet made it treasonous for Padmé and I to exercise our right to free speech.”

“Of course not,” Anakin responds, sounding distracted. He’s always thought having one person to make decisions was a good thing… or, does he just think that because Palpatine has told him it’s a better idea so many times?

He has many things to question. But, more importantly right now, Obi-Wan mentioned make-up?

Anakin shakes himself from his thoughts, giving his friend a curious look. “Uh. Rewind a second. Did you say Padmé did your make-up?”

“And I did hers,” Obi-Wan answers easily. “We both had dates.”

That would explain why they were, in some cases, sitting closer than friends would; as far as he could tell in the force.

“Bail takes you on dates?” Anakin asks, curious but trying his best not to be pushy about it. This is something new, which he never anticipated learning about his Master… he wants to know more, but as a Jedi with his own secret significant Senator, he understands the secrecy.

“Not all of them are Bail,” Obi-Wan answers after a moment, as if weighing how much he should admit to. “But yes, he does. He’s quite a gentleman really; I do look for other potential partners, but I fear he’s spoiled me for most.”

Anakin can imagine; having a Senator as a partner is pretty nice. “The tea is that good?”

“And the company,” Obi-Wan agree, a crinkle at the corner of his eyes. “I’ll admit… I’m glad you know now. I don’t like keeping secrets from you.”

That warms Anakin’s heart, so much that he doesn’t quite know how to express it, so he deflects. “If you have pictures of yourself in that makeup, you better not keep them secret anymore,” he teases with a grin.

the teasing pulls a laugh from Obi-Wan, who shakes his head. “I don’t; but I’m certain Padmé has plenty. I think she even took a few of us the one time Bail stopped by her apartment to pick me up.”

Oh, he is definitely getting those from his wife later. “So Padmé knows about you two?”

“She introduced us,” Obi-Wan admits fondly. “I don’t share details with her, but she’s a smart woman.”

That she is. “Why am I the last to find out?” He protests, trying his best not to let it come out sounding whiny. 

“Because, my dear padawan,” Obi-Wan starts, gently ribbing him. “You are a dear friend, and an unparalleled partner in combat, but you can’t keep a secret to save your life.”

“I can keep a secret!” he argues! “I swear, Master, no one else will ever know. I only talk to you and Padmé, anyways.” He pauses, “Well, and Palpatine.”

“And he mustn’t know,” Obi-Wan insists, more serious now. “Bail is one of the leading senators advocating for clone rights and peace talks, Anakin. He is a good man. And, he disagrees with Palpatine quite often. I shudder to think what the Chancellor would do with this information, should he find out. I wouldn’t put it past him to use it in an attempt to not only discredit Bail, but to berate the Jedi as well.”

“But neither of you are doing anything wrong,” Anakin states, frowning.

Obi-Wan’s eyes close for a moment. “And it’s not wrong for a system to want to remain neutral and out of the war, yes? And yet, Palpatine did everything in his power to try to strongarm Republic forces onto Mandalore, even rushing a vote 3 days ahead of time, without Satine present, based on a doctored holorecording.”

Anakin doesn’t look at it that way… but he’s not going to argue with Obi-Wan where Satine is involved. Though he now questions how romantic their relationship really was, he knows they were, at the very least, close.

“Just please, don’t tell him, Anakin.” Obi-Wan persists, looking up at his friend beseechingly. “If for no other reason than Bail values his privacy.”

“Of course,” Anakin agrees easily. “Like I said, I won’t tell anyone. I just… nobody really talks to me about Palpatine like you are now. I guess most people know he’s my friend and are too afraid to say anything less than flattering… You’re giving me things to think about.”

“I try to be honest with you whenever I can,” Obi-Wan responds cautiously. “You aren’t a child anymore, and though old habits are hard to break, I don’t want to keep sheltering you as if you aren’t a capable adult.”

“I sense you have more to say,” Anakin prompts when Obi-Wan doesn’t immediately continue.

His friend nods, looking troubled. “I know he is a close friend of yours, Anakin, and one of the few people you knew and liked here, after leaving your home. Which is why I–mistakenly, I think–didn’t object to his interest in you. Initially, I had hoped another friend would make your transition from Tatooine to Coruscant easier… but… well. I find the way he treats you… inappropriate. In some cases, predatory.”

And with those words, Anakin suddenly feels on the defensive. No, Palpatine is his friend, like a grandfather to him. He isn’t… predatory, or–

Obi-Wan’s hands are up even before Anakin can think of a rebuttal. “I don’t claim to know all the details… but the fact that when you were younger, you didn’t feel comfortable telling me anything of your activities on your outings with him says quite a lot, Anakin. And more than that, when I started to suspect something was amiss, and attempted to join you on visits with him, or simply ensure you weren’t left alone with him, he used his position as the Chancellor to strongarm me into backing down. It was… is, concerning.”

And, that’s news to Anakin. He understands why Obi-Wan hadn’t told him sooner, too. He was a headstrong kid; any attempt to protect him, especially from someone he saw as a friend, Anakin would have just taken as Obi-Wan ‘controlling’ him. He knows better now; after years of being Obi-Wan’s equal. But then, it may have just pushed him away, and further from where Obi-Wan could attempt to protect him.

Still, he feels the need to explain himself. “It’s not– He didn’t do anything… like that…” He starts, floundering a little. “It’s just, I didn’t want to tell you, because he took me places I shouldn’t really be going, and I had fun, so…” might as well come clean now, it’s not like he can get in trouble for it anymore. “He used to take me on trips to the lower levels, like, clubs. And he taught me how to make a chance cube land on the side I wanted, so we would find corrupt senators, and cheat them out of their credits. And, Palpatine said he gave the money to charities, so we were doing good things, you know?”

Obi-Wan closes his eyes, and Anakin is reminded of when he tested his patience early on as a padawan, and his Master would silently count to keep himself calm.

He hasn’t needed to in a long time, not since well before Anakin was knighted.

And despite what the action reminds him of, Anakin knows his Master’s temper isn’t directed at him.

“… Anakin,” he starts, tone gentle but tight. “Please, just. For a moment, put Ahsoka in your place. If she was telling you what you are telling me now… what would you think?”

And Anakin’s gut does a flip, because deep down, he already knows.

He… he knows that Palpatine uses him, says one thing and does another, feeds him constant doubt about his friends, about the Jedi…

He knows this, and yet, no one before has had the nerve to say anything even slightly negative about Palpatine to his face. No one has ever dared do anything but say how great his close friend, the Chancellor, is.

Because like Anakin, people are afraid of him.

He feels a tremble start in his fingers, finally faced to acknowledge how afraid he is. How much it terrifies him to know that Palpatine holds all his secrets, that should Anakin ever be less than his enthusiastic friend, he could be ruined.

He, the hero with no fear… is afraid; a frightened boy in the face of a decrepit old man.

And only now can he show it, in the presence of the only person he’s ever known to have the courage to speak up about someone so untouchable.

As if sensing Anakin’s oncoming panic, Obi-Wan interrupts his thoughts, voice kind and sad. “Anakin, dear one, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He moves closer, and any restraint Anakin had breaks.

He feels 9 years old again, lost and seeking comfort in Obi-Wan’s arms. “I can’t say no,” he whispers brokenly. “Master– Jaieh, I’m terrified of him.”

Hearing Anakin call him Jaieh, like he hasn’t since he was young, since it was too hard for him to call anyone ‘Master’ without dredging up bad memories, Obi-Wan accepts Anakin into his arms, no hesitation or holding back.

Anakin needs support right now, needs to know that he isn’t alone in this, that if he asks, Obi-Wan would walk right into Hell with him. “Enoah foh bika, Anakin.” he promises him, reassures him. “Enoah foh mikeelal.”

“Paienoah kodaih bika,” Anakin says, but it comes out unsure, like he’s asking. Like he doesn’t know if he’s accepted, if he’s really not alone in this.

Obi-Wan’s heart aches, and he holds Anakin closer, pressing a reassuring kiss to his temple. “Haj Dai, Anakin. Paienoah kodaih bika.”

Anakin shatters then– or it feels like he does. So many doubts, so many fears, and Obi-Wan bats them all aside with a few words. Words said so easily, words Anakin feared shouldn’t apply to him.

He cries, his earlier suspicions and anger forgotten, absolved now, as he is faced with the truth that Obi-Wan cares for him; that his best friend is his truest ally, that Obi-Wan accepts him and will always accept him.

As he allows himself to acknowledge that Palpatine is a liar and a manipulator, and he is (and always has been) coming up with vile falsities in his attempts to drive a wedge between Anakin and Obi-Wan; the one person he can rely on absolutely.

And through it all, through his tears and his shattered sense of self, Obi-Wan holds onto him; not judgement or disgust, nothing but kindness and acceptance as he carefully picks up the pieces and helps Anakin piece himself back together.

How he could ever doubt Obi-Wan’s character… he would say he doesn’t know, but he remembers. He knows all the little things Palpatine said, all the betrayals he implied, the way he twisted Anakin’s thoughts to see himself pitted against Obi-Wan instead of regarded with him, as he should. They are a team, The Team.

He should have recognized long ago that their accomplishments aren’t a competition, they are an accumulation of the good they can both do, together and apart.

Anakin may be late, but late is better than never, and he recognizes it now, at his lowest and most vulnerable moment. A competitor wouldn’t hold him and build him back up, stronger than before. A friend does that, a friend and mentor and good person.

When he can speak, albeit in a watery way, Anakin wipes his eyes, face still hidden in his Master’s shoulder. “What am I going to do?”

The answer doesn’t come immediately, and that in itself is a reassurance. Anakin doesn’t want unthought-out platitudes, he wants honesty, and preferably, a plan.

“I don’t know what we can do right this moment, Anakin.” Obi-Wan admits. “He is still the Chancellor… and that won’t change until we end this war. But I can promise you this, my dear padawan, you will never have to go see him alone. You need only ask, and I will be by your side. And as soon as circumstances change, I will do all there is in my power to make sure he never comes near you again, Anakin.”

He sniffles, more reassured by the realistic response than he could ever be by promises that can’t be fulfilled.

“Then we’ll just have to try harder to end this war, huh?” Anakin goes for an optimistic tone, hugging Obi-Wan more snugly.

Another comforting kiss goes to his temple. Obi-Wan is frugal with his shows of affection, so it means all the more now that he is giving them so openly. “We will, Anakin.” He promises, and his voice is so steady, so sure, the rock that Anakin can always lean against. “Together, I doubt there’s anything you and I can’t do.”

“Together,” Anakin agrees, a knot in his very soul coming loose. 

Obi-Wan is right. They are The Team, and that isn’t just a title. Together, they can do anything they set their minds to.

They can defeat Sith Lords, they can end a war, and maybe, just maybe, they can even save Anakin Skywalker’s soul from the Devil.

°|●.*•

Dai Bendu Translations

“Jaieh” || ● Simplified Meaning: Master

Literal Meaning

roots: ‘je’- mystic, ‘ai’- mastery, non ownership. so ‘one who is a Master in the ways of the Force’, implying more like a teacher than an owner.

“Enoah foh bika, Anakin. Enoah foh mikeelal” || ● Simplified Meaning: I am here, Anakin. I am with you.

Literal Meaning

Enoah fo - I am (in a permanent state, not transitive) 

bika- here

[Anakin]

Enoah foh- I am (in a permanent state) 

mikeelal - comitative ‘you’/with you.

“Paienoah kodaih bika.” || ● Simplified Meaning: We are here together, now and forever.

Literal Meaning

Paienoah - We are (in a permanent state, and this has implications for the future)

kodaih - Exclusionary ‘We’ - all of us jedi (exclusionary, implying the inclusion of Anakin in the Jedi and alluding to the exclusion of Palpatine as not a Jedi)

bika - here. 

so essentially, “We are jedi, and we are together, and Palpatine is not, and this matters for the future.”

“Haj Dai, Anakin. Paienoah kodaih bika.” || ● Simplified Meaning: Yes, Anakin. We are here together, now and forever.

Literal Meaning

Haj Dai - literally ‘Force Wills’, a reassuring ‘yes’.

[Anakin]

Paienoah - We are (in a permanent state, and this has implications for the future) [italics stress is on ‘are’]

kodaih - Exclusionary ‘We’ - all of us jedi (exclusionary, implying the inclusion of Anakin in the Jedi and alluding to the exclusion of Palpatine as not a Jedi)

bika - here. 

so essentially, “Of course, Anakin. We are jedi, and we are together, and Palpatine is not, and this matters for the future.”

Thanks to @jasontoddiefor @ghostwriterofthemachine for the translations to Dai Bendu, their fancrafted Jedi Language!