#and ‘sorrow’ and ‘touch’ have also made me full on sob

[st4rbe0m]

SUMMARY ▸ 20 years ago, a gruesome murder shook the town hard. A type of murder that should've never happen, much less in their quaint town. A lovely family killed in cold blood by an unforgiving axe wielding maniac - a mother, a father and a little girl. It's been 20 years down the road, hasn't it? Then why are these 10 teenagers stuck in a loop of the same day, being haunted by a little girl who died 20 years ago?

PAIRING ▸ Park Jongseong (Jay) x fem!reader ; additional pairings between characters as well , multi chapter story

TAG LIST ▸ open!! send an ask to be added

WC ▸ 3.1K

A/N ▸ new chapter anyone who reblogs one million hugs and kisses btw. looped moonstruck while writing this chapter. ALSO beach episode coming next chapter 😈

WOULD YOU LIKE TO CONTINUE THE BODY SEARCH ?

▊ yes -> CHAPTER 5

▊ no -> CHAPTER 3

BODY SEARCH MASTERLIST

“Yang Jungwon, you’re so dead.”

This was the last sentence that Nishimura Riki uttered before he was brutally mauled to death by a stray sports cart being pushed by the bloodied hands of a deadly little girl. 

10 hours before this, under the protective shade of the umbrella of their cafe table, were sat Uchinaga Aeri, Ning Yizhuo, and Y/N Y/L/N, each digging into their chosen sorbets and ice creams. It was Giselle’s idea, who insisted that building a friendship within these dire times was not a bad idea. Friendship was a strange concept to Y/N - simply because she had never been able to experience it fully. As fleeting it was in her childhood, it became non-existent in her teenage years. Honestly, if she thought about it - the last, true friend she had might be Jay himself, and that was when they were about 11 years old. Before middle school pulled them apart like magnet poles. And that was what she was in the midst of explaining to NingNing and Giselle, who felt pangs of guilt growing stronger in their heart as they heard her story. 

“It’s not that I even did anything bad, you know. I suppose that’s what made the whole situation disheartening for me. It was just one day that I had missed the school swim meet, and then a week after that because of a very nasty cold I had caught. But I guess my best friend at that time, Lee Naeun, decided it was the end of the road for us. Because when I returned to school after my break, everyone avoided me like the plague. Turns out, Naeun had told everyone the reason why I had skipped the meet because I loathed everyone, and that I’d told her everyday that I wished the very worst on our classmates. It didn’t help that I was already a very shy person. And she took advantage of that, I suppose. She knew I’d never be able to defend myself.”

Looking up from where she’d kept her head bent down, staring woefully into her sorbet while recounting her sob story, she met the eyes of both NingNing and Giselle, expecting the look of pity she’d been expecting. The sad, sad story of the school freak. Instead, she was surprised to see both wearing the same look of sadness, with Giselle even having a little mist in her eyes. Shocked by this slightly unexpected reaction, she opened her mouth again but this time the both spoke, clamoring with apologies. “I had no idea, Y/N. I’m so, so sorry. Even if there was no way of me knowing, I shouldn’t have believed the baseless gossip of the school as class president”, NingNing apologized shamefully. Giselle too, was heavy with regrets, and she clasped Y/N’s hand tightly as she spoke her own sorry’s. The heartfelt sorrows, as well as the loving and gentle touches and looks the two gave Y/N made her feel an ache in her - like something missing was suddenly returning to her. Something that she’d craved more than anything coming back to fix the pieces of her broken heart, the glue she needed. And it made her feel absolutely elated, to the point where small giggles began leaving her mouth, growing into full fledged laughter, which broke the trance NingNing and Giselle were under. Seeing her reaction, the pair began laughing themselves, and for a moment they could pretend to be normal teenagers again. Teenagers who weren’t playing death’s game every night. 

“Jungwon, let me be frank dude. What’s your deal?”asked Riki, nonchalant about how loaded his question was as he stuffed fries into his mouth, ignorant of Sunoo’s widening eyes or the stern glare Jay gave him. After seeing how his girlfriend had abandoned him at lunch to have a girls hangout, Heesung decided to ask the boys to join him for one of his own - for the power of friendship and stuff. Totally not because he missed his girlfriend. 

Jungwon, however, didn’t seem perturbed by the question at all, sporting a smile instead. “Well, you know how people peak in highschool, and some people become rich and own mansions and cars? Let’s just say, the guys who’ve made such a mark of my reputation won’t be laughing when they’re washing my sports cars.” 

His confident, albeit cocky and slightly goofy response had Jake choking on his milkshake and Sunghoon giving an amused smile as he continued to munch on his chicken tenders. “Leave Jungwon, let’s talk about something more important. Like how these three genuinely ordered off the kids’ menu. When Jay mentioned it, I thought he was kidding.”, said Sunoo with a sip of his own root beer, gesturing on the Dumb, Dumber and Dumbest - Jay, Sunghoon and Jake, the same order they were sitting in at the diner booth. “What’s wrong with the kids menu? Better food at half price, it’s a fucking steal”, said a pouty Jake as he made a deal out of eating his cheese fries. “Honestly, I didn’t think Sunghoon would be as bad as you guys. I always thought he was a serious guy.” This had the other two speaking up together, both ready with several examples of Sunghoon’s rather stupid moments. “Hey, hey, he didn’t ask for a testimony!”. “So are you back to school for good, then?”. Another loaded question, that had Sunghoon furrowing his brows. “Yeah, I am”, he said after a moment’s pause, looking directly into the eyes of his two best friends, who returned grateful smiles of their own. “Let’s leave the sentimental stuff and talk about what’s more important, like Lee Heesung, how did you, a loser, manage to pull Giselle?”, asked a teasing Jake, and thus began another round of bickering.

“I’m serious, I don’t like Jay!”, laughed NingNing, when she saw the unconvinced faces of Y/N and Giselle. “B-but you’ve attended all the practices! And you’ve been close to him for a while now, haven’t you?” spluttered a perturbed Giselle, who fancied herself quite the cupid. “Well, I have been attending practices and gotten close to him. Just not for the reason you all thought it to be.” “Then what? Is it someone else on the team you’re interested in?”, asked Y/N. When NingNing gave no reply, Y/N and Giselle broke into huge grins as they nudged the other girl who was smarting reddened ears and a docile smile. “You guys have to promise me this stays a girls’ secret, alright? No telling Heesung, okay Gi?”, said NingNing in a rather hushed tone. Moving their heads closer to hear NingNing better, and Giselle promising to keep the secret safe even from her boyfriend, NingNing hesitated for a bit before the name tumbled out of her mouth. “Park Sunghoon. I was attending their practice matches to see if he’d show. And I got close to Jay to ask him about how Sunghoon was doing. It’s not everyday your crush starts barely attending school and starts ignoring everyone. But I’m glad he’s back now.” said a shy NingNing, immediately covering her face to hide her furiously blushing cheeks. “Ayye, I’m sure you’re glad. Now if that little weirdo comes after you, you always have your Ice Prince to save you, don’t you?”, Giselle’s joke making Y/N laugh out loud and leaving NingNing in a mess, smacking Giselle’s arm in embarrassment. 

“Jay, come off it. Everyone sees the heart eyes you manage to make even in a life or death situation at Y/N.”, Heesung countered to the flustered Jay, who’s strawberry red ears weren’t helping his case at all. “Wait, dude what about Ning?” asked Jake, the name making Sunghoon pop his head out and ask, “Jay has a thing with NingNing?”. Sighing, with a self-important smirk, Heesung leaned back into the peachy orange seats of the diner to just say, “Oh you kids, just starting out with love, so unaware of your own feelings”, which just resulted with Jay chucking the crumpled plastic wrapper of a straw at his face. 

“Wait! This is brilliant Y/N!”, said an excited Giselle who turned to Y/N with hopeful eyes. “What?” “Well, now you and Jay can get together freely without any complications!”. This just made Y/N bite down a bit harshly into her sorbet accidentally, and rubbing her upper lip, she feigned ignorance as she asked, “What do you mean?”. “Oh come on, there’s no way you both don’t have something going on! He protects you and follows you around like a guard dog. It’s always ‘Y/N did this’ ‘Y/N be careful’ and ‘Y/N stay in my arms and be safe with me forever’”, which made Y/N smack Giselle over the table this time, looking to NingNing for any support, who just looked at the exchange with amusement and knowing. “Ning, don’t tell me you think this too?”, asked Y/N. “Well..” “Oh, you guys!” 

“Yeah, we knew each other as kids. Best friends in kindergarten, if that’s anything?”, said Jay who had been pressured by the rest of the group to spill his history. “Then I drifted apart from her, kinda. With basketball and whatnot”, Jay shamefully mumbled the last part, regretfully leaving behind his childhood friend obviously. “Well, she grew into her lonesome after that, didn’t she?”, asked Sunoo. “Yeah, but she shouldn’t have had to. I should’ve done something”, huffed out Jay, as he slumped in his seat. “Despite”, added Jungwon, “she’s been kind. She’s been kind to me when I’ve been picked on. I’ve seen her help the aging old librarian during lunch and offer him some of her leftover lunch.” Hearing about Y/N made Jay break into an unknowing grin, and the rest of the boys noticed this almost immediately, smiling knowingly within themselves. 

“Back when we were 11, our families went to an amusement water park. He sort of saved my life that day.” After cracking open to the girls about her crush on Jay, Y/N was in the midst of explaining when she realized she liked him. “Wait, so you’ve liked him that long?”, asked NingNing, surprised by the length of this ongoing infatuation. “Well, yes. There was this slide and there was a negligent lifeguard there. Honestly, I don’t remember much of it. I remember the guard almost hurt me in the water, and Jay had managed to find me and bring me away from the guard to my family.” “That’s really strange, why would a lifeguard hurt you?”, asked Giselle. “Yeah, honestly I don’t remember much. I don’t even know if he was a worker there or just some dangerous man who had slipped in unnoticed into the waterpark.” “Wait, so that means you guys are childhood sweethearts! Ah, how exciting!”, squealed a delighted NingNing, and as the topic of crushed changed courses to school to the future to just simple discussions, the next 3 hours were spent in merriment. Not only the girls, but even the boys could feel the time fly away like feathers with the way they all bonded. 

That was 10 hours ago. 10 hours after the smiling and teasing and jokes, standing in the empty broadcast room of their deserted school was Yang Jungwon, shuffling between CDs the music department had kept, all of them being either hymns or instructions. Finally, he managed to pull out a CD, the cover art faded away into almost nothing, but based on what it was, it seemed to be some sort of rock and roll music. Plugging it into the CD player and cranking up the speakers with no time to spare, Jungwon spoke into the mic, feedback whining as he yelled into the mic, “Are we freaking ready, gang? Let’s rock it”. He was sure his friends were laughing or groaning at his corniness, but he wouldn’t have had it any other way. Because it was the first time he was using the word friends in a sentence referring to himself. 

Riki and Y/N are in the sports room, and they’d made a sort of obstacle course out of the sports carts and the equipment. On the other side of the room were Sunghoon and NingNing, holding tennis racquets, ready to play offense. The group’s incentive for this night was the ground floor, and stationed in all the important rooms were members of their little crew - ready with every nuisance they could come up with to distract the little girl. The cherry on top, was what Giselle had provided them just before they began. 

“I remember the AV club’s president, my cousin, had mentioned something about walkie-talkies being somewhere in the school. So I, the great Uchinaga Giselle, have taken the liberty to find them and provide them to you all”, she said, as she dumped some possibly decade old walkie-talkies on the table, hands reaching out to grab one each, thanking Giselle or praising her for her quick thinking. 

Jungwon’s music choice was obnoxious, is what Riki thought when he saw the girl appear, her white fangs glinting in the light of the room. And immediately, the team sprung into action. Y/N, Sunghoon and Riki ready to combat the girl while NingNing frantically searched the room for any missing body parts. Though the girl seemed to possess immaculate speed and inhumane strength, the group managed to stall her long enough for NingNing to find a severed leg, and run like the wind away from the room, screaming into the walkie talkie of her discovery. And as the girl rammed the sports cart into Riki’s head last after stringing Y/N’s body, split in half by the ropes, and Sunghoon’s lifeless body laid out unceremoniously on the basketball court, they were glad about one thing - she was going down just as planned. 

“Ground floor, complete” Jay was putting X marks on all the rooms covered. Till now, the gang had uncovered the left forearm and the right foreleg. The rest of the parts were going to be concealed better no doubt. But they had a good feeling about this one. “Jungwon, I’m begging you man. Play better music. Just because we’re killing that insane ghost doesn’t mean you have to kill us with bad music”, groaned Jake. “Oh, I’m sorry, but would you rather listen to Christmas hymns? Because that’s what the school has” “It’s better than the nonsense you’re playing. The singer honestly sounds like a divorced alcoholic countryman.”, said Sunoo. 

The group parted ways, deciding to go their separate ways for a bit, Giselle and Heesung giggling as they went off to the park, and Jungwon, Jake and Riki in a heated discussion about their favorite shows and movies. Moving away from the table was Y/N as well, until a hand around her wrist stopped her. Turning around to see who it was, her pupils widened as she stared right into the chocolate brown of the one and only Jay. “Stick with me tonight, alright? I don’t want to see you strung up like a puppet again.” His tone may have been lighthearted, but the worry in the crease of his brow gave away his seriousness. “Sure Jay, thank you.”, said a beaming Y/N, absolutely over the moon with the way this was going. Sensing the end of her luck with him, she was ready to pull away, when she found that Jay was still clutching her hand, and was striding forward confidently, his hands dipping as his fingers folded themselves around the gaps of your own. Holding her hand in possibly the smoothest way possible, and throwing a charming smile her way that had a million butterflies erupt immediately in her gut, he asked, “Drop you to class?”. And only a fool would give up this offer. Shy smiles and intertwined fingers, the two went up to the class, both opting for the longer route unknowingly. 

“So, Y/N”, said Jay casually. “So, Jay”. The hand holding was still going unaddressed between the two, but it was better that way. Some things were left better off on their own, to linger in the air that seemed charged around both of them. Brushing a strand of her hair that had seemed to fall on to her forehead, looking at his face it was obvious he was struggling to say something. “You can say what you’re planning to say Jay”, said a teasing Y/N. Sombrely, he looked at Y/N, only hoping that the hand he was holding on to that made his arm feel like lead in nervous jitters, would stay when he was done. “I’m sorry.” “For what?”, asked Y/N simply, tilting her head slightly in confusion. “For not being a good friend. For leaving you behind. For not keeping in touch.” It seemed like the boy was not going to run out of reasons to apologize any time soon, and Y/N with a surge of boldness simply placed a finger of her free hand against the plush of his lips which were mid-movement, amused as she peered at his face. “Jay. It’s absolutely alright. My circumstances were not your fault at all, and I could have made an effort to reach out as well.” “But-” “No buts. I don’t blame you. And honestly, this whole game? It’s just made me more over the whole thing before.”. Smiling softly, she added another reassurance, just a little leap of faith. “Jay, you’ll always be the boy who saved me at the amusement park, alright? My knight in shining armor rather.” And with that simple statement, she dropped the finger on his lips and tugged the slightly stunned Jay along, both of them making their way down the hall with burning cheeks and fighting grins.

[adalwolfgang]

Can I have a Matt x Reader where he is comforting the reader after they had a nightmare? I know the trope is overdone and cliche but it’s a good trope nonetheless

Matt (Bunman) comforting s/o after a nightmare...

A/N: For my 'Au' I've changed some things from the original videos. Matt isn't the one who killed Dimi. That's about all I've decided to change so far for the sake of plot.

Relation: Romantic

Your breathing is shallow as you shoot up in bed.

The blanket falling off your clammy skin.

Matt was still out like a light beside you.

One arm lazily draped over your waist.

It's been what felt like weeks since you've had a full nights rest.

Constant nightmares of worry and sorrow had begun to fill your head ever since you had escaped the facility you were practically raised in.

You still hadn't gotten over Dimi's death.

You already felt fear from losing him.

Now fear of losing Matt has begun to grow tremendously.

No matter how many times he's reassured you he can't die.

Or that'd he'd simply come back to you if he somehow did, again.

You haven't told him though about these never ending nightmares though.

You didn't want him to view you as weak for having fear of such nonsense.

You take a look at his exposed face.

Normally you often saw him wearing his iconic black ski or bunny mask but when it's intimate moments like this, he exposes himself entirely to you.

It's a sweet thought.

That he trusts you so much.

You take one last look over his face before deciding to take a short walk to the small kitchen to find yourself something to drink and snack on.

Anything to calm your nerves.

I feeling of the cold tile floor sends a shiver through your body as you make your way to the kitchen.

Every footstep makes a small echo in the small apartment.

You quietly grab a cup from the cupboard and fill it with whatever drink you could find in the fridge.

You're about to pour the drink into your cup when you feel a pair of arms wrap around your waist.

You're about to scream when a hand covers your mouth, silencing you.

"Shh..It's just me poppet," he murmurs into your ear.

Once you start to relax under his touch, he drops his hand from your mouth and pulls you closer from behind.

"Why are you up so late?"

You shrugged, now getting a chance to finish filling your cup.

"Couldn't sleep and got thirsty.."

You hear him tut with a small grin, spinning you around to face him.

"You're a bad liar poppet. I can understand me scaring you made you jumpy but not to the point of feeling all clammy."

He got you on that.

The night shirt you were wearing was still bathed in sweat.

He pulls you into a comforting embrace, slowly swaying the two of you back and forth a bit.

"We're not moving from this spot until you tell me what's gotten you all sweaty and spooked."

You sigh in defeat.

"I had a nightmare...again"

He puts a finger under your chin and softly forces you to look up at him, worry evident in his eyes.

"Again? You've never mentioned having nightmares before.." he murmurs.

"I didn't want to add another thing for you to stress about on the many things we're already having to deal with. And I especially didn't want to stress you on something as pathetic as this-"

The more you talk, the harder it is to hold back your emotions and sobs.

Matt shut you up with a soft peck on the lips, his thumbs wiping the tears from your face.

"Don't you ever think like that again poppet. You're struggles will never be irrelevant to me. You can also come to me if you have problems, okay?"

After that, he had told you to talk to him about what exactly you'd been having nightmares about.

And you did.

He comforted you when you cried at certain moments when talking about them.

And listened to every word that left your mouth.

Once you were finished, you felt much more lighter in a mentality sense.

Like a weight had been lifted from you.

After that, you both crawled back into bed together, Matt pulling the covers over you both making sure you two were as close as two people could be.

"If you ever, and I mean it, ever have another problem like that again, you tell me, okay Poppet?"

You silently nod your head, sleep already falling over you as you snuggle closer to him and close your eyes.

[finniestoncrane]

I don't know if you have done before, but would you be willing to write about a chubby Dano!Riddler? Love your blog!

I'm Too Much

Dano!Riddler x GN!Reader, word count: 2.7k god i want to hold that soft boy and make him feel loved, chubby!dano is my favourite flavour like for sure. i'm sorry this was so angsty but there's still smut lmao 💚 and also i'm sorry it got so long i just let my feelings dictate this one also thank you to the discord server for hyping this up ;-; request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi minors DNI!! 🔞 cw for nsfw stuff: self-image issues, hurtful language, self-deprecation, body worship, crying, oral sex

From the bedroom, you could hear shuffling, mumbles and exasperated sighs. Usually, it did take Eddie a few minutes of awkward fabric wrangling to get into his full Riddler getup, but he’d been in the bedroom for thirty minutes, and he was supposed to leave twenty minutes ago. You only got up to investigate when you heard the clattering, the sounds of something being kicked around.

Stepping into the door frame, easing the door open gently, you found him back to you, bracing against the wall, his mask and tools by his feet, boots off, still in his boxers and t-shirt with his signature green jacket on.

“Hey, Eddie-”

He jumped, turning quickly and holding the sides of the jacket closed over him, stomping towards you and trying to intimidate you, to push you away.

“I’m-I’m getting ready, get out!”

“You’ve been in here for thirty minutes…I just came to check-”

“Well, it doesn’t matter because I’m not going so I’m just going to get ready for bed.”

He put his hand on your shoulder, pushing you slightly, the other reaching for the door and beginning to close it.

“Eddie, don’t do that, don’t push me.”

Edward stepped back, face red, eyes averted from you. Stepping back from you, he stood awkwardly, eyeing the room, checking the door behind you as though he were trying to plan his escape.

“Eddie…what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” He reached his hand up, wiping his nose and cheeks with the sleeve of the jacket. He looked up at you, glasses steamed up, tiny pools between the bottom of the lenses and his cheeks. “Nothing. Could you please just…leave me alone?”

“If you’re sure that’s what you want.”

He hesitated, face screwing up into an angry little scowl.

“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want it.”

“Edward Nashton! Quit the attitude, I’m just trying to help.”

“Ok, well help by giving me some peace and quiet!”

With his cheeks and forehead flushed in red, neck following quickly behind them, you were drawn into him, staring at the way the vein on his temples was pressed out, the way the tendons in his neck were tensed and stretched. And yet, there was no anger behind his eyes, just damp sorrow.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled it softly, his voice cracking, throat raw and choked. “I just…I want…I don’t…”

“Hey! Hey, it’s ok. You’re ok.”

“I’m not ok though!”

“Eddie, you are, you really are.”

“No! You’re not listening to me!”

He brought his hands up, balling them into tightly clenched fists, tapping them softly against the sides of his head and then gripping some of his hair, not pulling, but clutching. You raised your hand to his forearm, gently, trying to pull him away, but he shoved you back.

“Woah…”

“Oh no. Oh no. Oh no! I’m sorry. I’m so sorry! See? See what I mean? I’m just…”

“What, Eddie?”

“I’m horrible!”

He sighed heavily, groaning as he slumped onto the bed. With his head in his hands, you felt comfortable easing forward, entering the room further, the closer you got the easier it was to see his back slightly shifting, shoulders gently shaking.

Your heart sank, a palpable feeling that left you feeling faint and nauseous, but you made it to the bed beside him where at first, he shrank away from your touch before letting himself melt into your embrace, his head on your shoulder where he let his sobs out.

“Oh…oh sweet baby.” With one hand rubbing his shoulder, you let the other tousle his hair, fingers twirling around the soft, delicate strands. “Do you want to talk-”

“No thank you.” His sniffles continued, but he had managed to stop the heavy, chest heaving sobs. Now, he whimpered, muffled against your body, soothing himself, you noticed, as he picked at his fingernails.

“Well, if you feel-”

“My jacket won’t zip up.”

You sat up straight, staring ahead and processing his words. Was the zipper broken? Often, little things like that could set him off, and he could get attached to physical items too, very sentimental.

“Hey, we can fix it if it’s broken, silly.”

“It’s not broken, I…I’m broken.”

As he let out a deep sigh, you held him closer.

“Eddie, you’re not…you’re not broken. You’re fine!”

“I’m not, I’m…I’m clumsy. And I take up too much room! I smother you. I’m…I’m too big. I’m too big for my jacket! I-I’m too big. I’m too…much.”

“Oh, Eddie. Oh no. Come here.” You tried to pull him onto your further, but he pushed back, standing up and backing into the corner, almost cowering, his lip wobbling as he spoke. He put his hands up defensively, trying to hold you off as though you were going to force yourself, your touch and your comfort, upon him.

“Don’t…don’t do that! Because I’ll just crush you. Or I’ll hurt you. I don’t…I don’t want to be touched, please just leave me alone.”

“I can’t do that, Eddie. I can’t leave you by yourself like this.”

“Fine!”

He stormed out of the room quickly, making his way into the bathroom, slamming the door closed and locking it behind him before you could get to him. You slumped against the wall beside the door, listening quietly. You knew you should let him have his space, but you were going to be right outside when he eventually decided to come out.

Behind the door, Edward stood on the cold tiles of the bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror. He kept the jacket on, unzipped at the front, slightly too tight around the arms. Uncomfortable. Uncomfortable enough that it made him feel scared, anxious, claustrophobic. Sad. The texture felt wrong, the colour seemed wrong. And the morals behind it no longer mattered because he wasn’t angry at anything else in the world except for him, his body.

Staring into the mirror, he narrowed his eyebrows at himself, mind rushing with all of the horrible things he thought of himself in that moment. Lifting his t-shirt up slightly, he pinched at his stomach. Holding his love handles, he jiggled them, sighing at the sight. With his forefinger, he prodded at the soft skin below his belly button. He put his palm around the bottom of his stomach, lifting it up and letting it drop before placing his palms on the sink and pushing his glasses to his forehead, trying not to smudge them further with the tears that flowed freely.

He was too big. Too much. Horrible. And as disgusting as he was on the outside, he felt worse on the inside. There was no fixing him. No amount of revenge, not even curing Gotham of the curses it was afflicted with, could make up for how rotten he was at the core. He was mould, maggots, sickly sweet like death. And now, the exterior matched.

Eddie felt his grasp on you was tentative as it was. That maybe, the only thing keeping you there, was that you thought he was cute the first time you met. But he couldn’t even keep that in check. No, now, not only did you have a mentally ill boyfriend who could fly off the handle and push you, he was also…too much on the outside. And in that moment, he made up his mind, to let you off the hook for him.

When the bathroom door unlocked, you were standing up straight and facing it in pensive anticipation before Eddie had even opened it.

“Oh.”

“Eddie…”

“You should leave.”

“The…hall?”

“No. The apartment. Or I’ll leave. I can transfer the lease, if you want. But you’re free to go.”

“Free…like I’m…held hostage?”

“Yes. By me. But I can promise you that I won’t hold it against you. You don’t have to be scared of me. I won’t…I won’t react. I won’t try and hurt you or stop you.”

“Oh, Eddie.”

His words were distorted as he whimpered and choked back his sobs, tears falling, sniffling and licking at his lips as he tried to get his words out.

“Because you’re too good for me…and I’m…nothing…no I’m worse than nothing…I’m a lot…big…stupid…”

Taking his hands in yours, holding tight as he made a weak attempt to tear them away from you, shirking at the touch, how warm you were, you stroked the back of them with your thumb.

“First of all, I’d rather have too much of you than none of you, huh?” You let go of one of his hands, nudging his chin up with your fingers, wiping at the tears that fell on his cheeks. “And besides that, Eddie. You could never be too much. You’re perfect.”

“So I wasn’t perfect before?”

“Were you Edward Nashton before?”

“I…guess.”

“And are you Edward Nashton now?”

“I mean…yes?”

“Well then Edward Nashton is perfect, regardless of what he’s doing, what he’s thinking, what he’s planning, or what he looks like.”

“But you couldn’t…you can’t possibly-”

You cut him off with a kiss, your lips meeting his, soft but firm. When he pulled back lightly, you followed him, pressing your palms to his chest to hold him still against the wall, your fingers teasing at his t-shirt as you let the kiss deepen. And yet, he still mumbled against you, not pushing you away, but gripping your forearms to keep you from getting closer.

“St-stop…wait…”

Leaning back, hands still on his chest, you stared straight into his eyes, trying to push past the veneer of strength he was still trying to keep up, despite the tears that stained his cheeks and the lenses of his glasses. As you spoke to him, all efforts to keep you at arm’s length, physically and emotionally, were suppressed by his deeper need to be held, touched, loved.

“Eddie, I love you. I love all of you, however much or little there is of any part. You’re handsome…” you kissed his cheek “…so sweet…” the other “…endearing…” the kisses trailed down his jaw, onto his neck “…and charming…” you kissed his chest, beginning to crouch, finding your knees as you let the kisses trail down his stomach “…warm and soft…” teasing at the hem of his shirt you lifted it slightly, his hands batting you away, turning your focus to the top of his underwear which you teased down, kissing the small tuft of hair that had become visible “…gentle and…”

Eddie’s breath hitched as you pulled his underwear down over his stiffening cock, your pleased exhale at the sight of his member drawing a soft moan from him, his length twitching in reaction.

“You d-don’t…huh…have to…”

“I want to. I want you, Eddie. Every. Single. Bit.”

With your fingers slowly and firmly gripping the base of his cock, you pulled downward, teasing back his foreskin, exposing his head, flushed and wet with precum, before wrapping your lips around it. As you let your tongue flit over the tip, lapping at the sweetly bitter taste of salt that leaked from the slit, you moaned onto him. The gentle vibrations pushed him back into the wall, his jacket cushioning him from the sudden thud. Briefly, you felt his fingers graze over the back of your head before he pulled himself back. You didn’t want to pressure him, or scare him away. If you kept working at him, he'd come around.

Through his clenched jaw he let out a hissing breath, still holding back on himself. By now, he was usually coming undone under your touch, whining and moaning and begging for more, begging for you to make him cum. But he stayed silent, save for the soft, choked groans that managed to escape.

One hand gripped tight onto the front of his thigh, the other trailing between his legs, holding his balls and kneading them lightly, fingers trailing over the sensitive skin as you kept your head moving up and down his shaft at a steady pace. At the sensation, he shuddered, hips twitching forward and pushing the tip of his head to your throat, gagging you. As you coughed, he slipped from between your lips, desperately stuttering an apology.

“I liked it, Eddie. You think you’re too much? You are. You’re so big.” You looked up at him from the floor, batting your eyelashes, letting your lip fall down and your mouth open, ready to accept him again. “Let me make you feel good, Eddie. You know I love you, but I need you to know I want you. I need you to know that I need you.”

It might have been a simplified solution to a larger problem, but in the moment, as he gazed down at you, eyes blank and mouth turning up into a slight smile, you felt that if making him feel physically wanted would open him up further, then that was all you could hope to achieve.

Placing him back in your mouth, one hand gripping the length, pulling your fist up and down along his cock, you open your mouth wide, skin teased back, letting his red and sensitive head smack against your tongue as you groaned. Eddie’s breath was hitching, but he wasn’t breathing out. He looked tense, uncomfortable.

“Eddie, let go. Just…let go.”

You realised then what he had been doing, and though your heart felt like it was breaking you kept up the façade of extreme flirtation and arousal. As he finally let his shoulders drop, his breath coming out in a long, low sigh, you noticed his stomach get less tense too, sticking out a little further, as he’d been trying to hold it in the whole time. Holding back your words, tears threatening to ruin the mood, you pushed on. All you were focused on now was making him feel a semblance of release, hoping that it would loosen him up enough for you to penetrate his thick shell, formed by years of not feeling like he was good enough.

You let your fingers find the hem of his t-shirt, eyes flitting up to see the bottom of his stomach poking out from under it. You teased the fabric up, trying to see more of him, get a better look at his soft, warm skin, a sweet peach colour, biteable and kissable. But he kept pulling his shirt back down. In a forceful move, you yanked the shirt up and over his stomach, resting at his chest, letting your fingers sink into his skin, kneading it and grasping at it desperately. He felt wonderful, undeniably sexy, his features only more loveable with the vulnerability he was letting you share with him. Letting your palms slip to his hips, you pressed your fingers into the softer and chubbier skin there, using his love handles to pull him closer to you, further down your throat.

Gagging lightly, trying to let yourself be a bit sloppier around him, spit dribbling down your chin as you looked up to find him staring back at you with little more than awe, all other thoughts unable to get through past his impending orgasm. With his fingers now firmly at the back of your head, wrapped around strands of your hair, he held you steady as he bucked his hips into you, choked gasps making their way over his lips before he pursed them, tongue poking out in concentration as he let himself spill out into your mouth, manging out a stuttered apology as he pulled himself from you.

You licked your lips, swallowing his load, hoping he saw it as a commitment to how badly you wanted all of him. Wish his palms under your elbows, he helped you stand up, wrapping his body around you. Putting your arms around his back, underneath the jacket, you held him close, humming softly in the embrace. Without breaking the hug, Edward finally spoke in a calm tone.

“If you wouldn’t mind…I’d like to order some food and maybe we can…talk?”

“Only if you keep this exact outfit on. It’s very cute.” Stepping back, he adjusted his glasses, reaching to pull his t-shirt down but he caught your eye, instead letting his palms glide softly over his skin before taking your hands in his and kissing at your knuckles. It wouldn’t be an easy fix, but you were on your way to convincing him that he was valuable, loved, and worthy of adoration exactly as he was.

[whumpshaped]

Chapter 7: Fresh air

Under the Bell Jar Masterlist

trigger warnings: aftermath of gore and dismemberment, painful healing, captivity, tiny whump, psychological whump, environmental whump, emotional whump

Fairy’s arm was healing painfully slowly. Centimetre by centimetre, it was growing back, tissue finally encasing the naked bones and sensitive nerve endings. It hurt, and it left the creature exhausted. It didn’t have the energy to greet its family, and the silence suddenly felt less gloomy and more… peaceful. Like its friends also recognised how tired it was, and aside from much needed companionship, they left it alone.

It was panting after one of the more awful waves of pain and nausea, eyes fluttering closed and skin full of goosebumps. It was sweating, even though the room had always been cold. Was it its own fault? Or did someone warm up the room? Were they cooking it alive this time?

After some time, it became clear that it wasn’t just Fairy’s healing body that was burning up. The air was stuffier, staler than usual, Fairy could’ve sworn it saw the particles vibrate and distort with the heat. That wasn’t what caught its attention, though. The bell jar… the bell jar’s glass body was beginning to crack. It hadn’t been designed to withstand extreme heat, unlike Fairy, and from the looks of it, its friends.

Fairy would’ve called out to them in surprised glee, but its throat felt too dry to even attempt it. The sweat was getting into the still open wound of its arm, making it burn and sting. Its hair was sticking to its forehead and obstructing its vision, because it didn’t have the energy to wipe at its skin and brush it away. Still, it could see the cracks forming, however blurry its vision was.

Freedom. Maybe it would be granted freedom.

Crack.

Clank.

A tiny piece of the glass fell onto the wooden floor, shattering even further. Fairy’s eyes widened. There was a hole in the bell jar now. It was small, and the crack left the edges of the glass jagged and looking alarmingly like a beast’s open mouth with rows of sharp teeth. But in its predicament, even that seemed inviting.

The heat subsided fairly quickly, and the usual chill of the room made Fairy shiver. Its entire body was damp and ruined. The chills ran along its spine and limbs like lizards rushing to hide under the bushes - yes, Fairy thought it remembered seeing that before. Lizards… but it was more focused on the hole in the glass ceiling.

The rest of the days it spent lying in one place and healing its arm were filled with anxious anticipation. It wished its body would just give up on that, leave it half-healed so it could use the energy to finally stand and jump and try to reach the hole. It imagined the first time the outside air would touch its face, how refreshing it would be, how nice and new and fresh. It wanted nothing more, especially after the day it had spent trapped under the jar in the extreme heat.

It lifted its arm, reaching for its only means of escape. That was the first time it realised that the hole was way too high up. It waited until its arm was finally healed and it had the energy to stand again, but even then, it was out of reach.

“No…” Fairy jumped as high as it could, short little arms flailing in the air as it tried to grab onto something. The glass was perfectly smooth. “No!” Its fingers couldn’t even brush the cracks, yet it kept jumping until it couldn’t anymore. “Please! No, please… please, let me… please…”

It let out an animalistic howl, filled with sorrow and helplessness. It was so close, so horribly close, it was right there. It could escape through that hole… and now it couldn’t reach it. It fell to its knees and curled up, sobbing into its hands. There was nothing to do. It was small enough to fit through such a tiny opening – and small enough that it would never be able to reach it.

~

taglist: @whumpsday @hidden-dreamland

[yiminsuu]

Your Goddess (2/3)

Pairing: Dream/Morpheus x F!Reader

Warnings: Angst, bit of violence, mutual pining, reader never experienced love, arranged marriage, depression, forbidden love, our king is bad at love too (give him some slack), mentions of Calliope.

Author’s Note: It was really hard to come up with something for this chapter. Also, if you don’t like my description of angels that’s your problem.

↳ Part 1 | Part 3

It won't be the end of my journeys to the human realm, yet there is sorrow in me I cannot comprehend. When my head no longer was consumed by clouds, I thought of all the possible outcomes of this union: I would no longer be able to stay alone, and my soon-to-be husband will decide on whoever I can watch over.

The weddings in Paradise are as special as a new star being born, not all angels are family at this point, and we do not cross paths with lower or high-ranking beings, but... I didn't expect a Seraphim to accept this marriage. Now, I am more scared than ever. 

"Are you ready?" My brother asked as he sat next to me, resting an arm over my shoulder gently. I don't say a word and glance around the apartment. "(Y/N), if you do not want this... Just say so, and we'll speak with father."

"You heard our siblings, they are afraid Morpheus will take my divinity away. They are ordering me to do this." He didn't look happy, not one bit. My brother always loved his freedom, and also wants others to savor it, but the rules they give us... It's killing us. It is a shame we have no other way. "Either way, this Seraphim they keep speaking about, everyone says he's kind and righteous. I'll be fine."

"But you'll break down, just like that night! We angels can't only exist for humanity, I refuse to believe that...! Listen to me!" I turned to him and we stared at each other, tears were beginning to show in his eyes. "I will call Morpheus, and we will get this to the council--"

"NO!!" With my outburst, my wings spread and the windows cracked, whatever was in the living that was made of glass was shattered in a second. I inhaled and furrowed my brows, my form recoiling until my back hit the nearest wall. I swear to God, I have never seen my brother so afraid. "Sister... Your wings..." My eyes widened like plates when I realized many of my feathers were changing to black, and I sobbed. "This marriage..." I clenched my fists. "Will happen!"

"You are blind...! You don't want this! (Y/N)!" I flew away from that forsaken place, but not long after I had to land and catch some air, thankfully, there was no human around. The place was a beautiful field of flowers, nature embraced me...

However, nothing stopped the feeling of hatred.

It swallowed my heart, and darkness consumed me as I fell.

I was aware he was watching me. I didn't let him make me a dream, or a nightmare, I don't want a thing from him, I reject him, and will continue to do so until the end of life itself. "STOP!" I shouted and woke from the numbness, and hugged myself before caressing my blackened feathers slowly, my fingertips trembling. Automatically, my wings shielded me from the king, who was staring at my back.

"Your wings... What has happened?" He muttered while walking toward me, and I detect something in his tone. "(Y/N)." He's angered.

"I beg you...! D-Don't touch me...!" The king stayed quiet, much to my relief. I'm unable to understand why this is happening to me, all I've done is follow our Father's laws and commit to taking care of the humans. I sighed deeply. "Since I was born I've been taught that my existence is connected to this realm... And it's all I've ever known. The smile of children, people loving each other, the first cry of newborns." My chuckle was full of bitterness. "Those moments are for what I exist... And you are ruining that." This time I do glance at him, and his lips part slightly. "I know how much you have lost, Morpheus, but-- Why would you ruin my life when you have enough people to go back to?"

"Calliope." A tear ran down my cheek when Dream mentioned her, so sweetly. "She called me because she needed my help. I would never let her suffer the same fate as me." This is exactly why I can't forget about you, no matter how hard you try to hide your heart, I'll always be able to see deep inside it. I hate it.

"What about me? Why would you let me sin??" When Dream stares at me like this, so heartbroken, I want to take every word back, but my mind says not to. "I have my reasons, (Y/N)." He simply says and I shake my head as I stood, stepping slowly toward him. "Because of you... I am banished from this realm for 1000 years. Because of you, I have to marry the strongest angel under Father. You did this to me... I thought we were friends..."

Both of us don't say anything as we stared at each other's eyes, deliberately closer than before. "We are not friends." I pursed my lips at his words, more tears staining my cheeks. "We've never been." Dream's hands come to my face, his thumbs cleaning my tears away. His own eyes were teary as he looked for more words, but nothing would come out of his lips. "You are cruel..." I whispered. 

This touch, HIS touch burns something in my chest, but it burns so deliciously I don't want the king to turn away. He holds me close, locking away any possibility of escaping and our noses come into contact, feeling his breath on my lips. My halo shines brightly as the sun, and my wings seemed to resuscitate from the darkness. The kiss was delightful, sugar-coated with the sweetest feeling my heart ever felt. 

"My angel... I..."

I surrender to him. To my king. My dream.

Alas, fate is unjust. "It wasn't meant to happen... I'm sorry..." I muttered brokenly. Morpheus reached for me one last time, but I had already vanished, and from far away I watched him break down as Death and his raven came to his aid.

In Paradise, I'm surrounded by my family and fellow angels of every ranking. As if I've just murdered someone, I am given the most heinous looks a prisoner would be ashamed of getting, however, I cannot care less. If this is the price for feeling love then I prefer to be dead.

Without Dream, I am nothing.

[artzee-bee]

You love me? | Lucifer Morningstar x reader

Fandom: Lucifer (Netflix)

Request: “ I was wondering if I could make a request where the reader is Lucifers best friend and can always cheer him up. One day (maybe after something with his brother happens) he is really upset and no one can communicate with him so the reader comes over worried sick. I thought that maybe they could have a moment after but that’s entirely up to you if you would like to write this! If you are uncomfortable or you just don’t want to write this let me know! “

Genre: a good chuck on angst but fluffy ending

Warings: nothing besides some arguing

A/N: This turned out very differently than what I was initially going for but I hope it’s somewhat good

~~~

You were more than aware of how everyone saw Lucifer: eccentric, sarcastic, over the top, at times an insufferable ass. You couldn't exactly disagree with any of those, but somehow you and the handsome gentleman got to be an inseparable duo. 

You met him at Lux while out with your friends. His good looks caught the eye of mostly everyone inside the club, you included. He was attractive but you were stubborn. You weren't going to go out of your way just to talk to him, no way! Plus, you weren't exactly looking for a relationship or anything like that, so what was the point? You were only there for the drinks and the dancing, except you ended up being quite disappointed in the drinks department. The barman was slow and alcohol was a lot more expensive than you were anticipating.

You were waiting for your drink when he approached you. He was trying to get away from a girl that was freaking him out. He made a comment about being “so irresistible” and you replied with a joke about the crappy alcohol. One thing led to another and before you knew it, you had been chatting with him for hours!! Your friends had gotten sick of waiting around for you to be done with your new pal, and left early, not that you minded much. You knew they were probably under the impression that you were trying to get in bed with him and they were mostly excited about how well it was going for you, so they weren’t mad and you were enjoying yourself.

After that night, you and Lucifer became more or less inseparable. Almost every night was now spent either at Lux or in his penthouse, chatting and drinking liquor. Lucifer would visit you at work every now and then, when a case he was working on would get on his nerves. He would sometimes drag you to the station to “keep him company”. You were, in other words, his moral support.

This position came with a lot of wild adventures and incredible stories, but also with a lot of difficulties. Lucifer wasn’t the easiest to talk to when his emotions got the best of him. He had a tendency to shut down and avoid real life at all costs. You’ve been with him through that many times before and you were convinced that there was nothing he could do to shock you anymore.

Late in the evening, you got a call from Mazikeen. She was fuming and screaming over the phone about how Lucifer was in a mood and he went off on her for no reason and that you better get to him and figure it out because she was over it. You’ve received many phone calls like this, so you weren’t alarmed but as soon as you entered the penthouse and saw the mess that was covering every square inch of the place, you began to question your judgement.

“Lucifer?” you asked but he didn’t reply. You called out to him a couple more times, until you finally found him tightly tucked in bed. 

“Luci?”

“Yeah…” his voice was muffled by the blanket and his eyes were shut

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing at all darling, I was just going to sleep”

“It’s 8 pm”

“Yeah, well, tough day at the station today. Not easy solving crime, you know?” “Oh really?” you questioned, to which Lucifer nodded slightly “Funny thing, I talked to Decker not too long ago actually. She hasn’t seen you all day.” Lucifer’s eyes stayed shut

“Don’t lie to me Lucifer” finally, you got his attention. He stood up with an exhausted sigh and rested against the bed frame

“What happened?”

“It’s just...Amenadiel…”

“What about him?”

“Always so curious, aren’t we Y/N?” he got up from the bed and headed towards the bar in the main area with you following close behind

“I’m trying to help you” “I don’t recall ever asking for it” his tone was harsh, but you’ve heard worse from him

“That never stopped me before”

“It never does any good either and yet here you are”

“Yes it does, you always tell me I’m a huge help” Lucifer frowned at your words, knowing full well you were right. He poured himself a drink, choosing to stay silent “I can’t help you unless you tell me what’s bothering you”

“It’s a fight between brothers, just like many others we’ve had before and we’ll keep on having for the rest of eternity probably”

“You’re really bothered by it”

“I am not!” his tone was firm. For just a second his eyes flashed red.

“It’s ok to feel upset”

“I am not upset!” he screamed, his face all of a sudden red and hot.  His devil face. Blood red eyes piercing your soul, a threatening smile displayed his sharp, yellow teeth . You’ve seen this side of him before. You could say you were even somewhat accustomed to it, except you've never seen him do this. Use it as a weapon against you. To threaten you, to push you away. That, more than anything, was what scared you. You’ve seen him so angry at times and yet not once did he change out of rage. You stepped back, almost tripping and falling back in the bed but Lucifer reached out and caught your hand. He held it softly, as if you were made of sand. As if you would slip from his grip any second

“Y/N?” when you looked back up to him, his face was back to normal “Y/N, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to, I mean, I didn’t realise I-”

“I’m just trying to be a good friend Lucifer”

“I know you are”

“I didn’t deserve that Lucifer” his eyes were full of sorrow and regret. You could see tears threatening to spill and you almost felt this man crumble in the palm of your hand. You pulled him into a tight hug and as soon as your arms went around his waist, Lucifer nuzzled his face in your hair and began to sob

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you, I didn’t mean to do that…”

“It’s ok Luci”

“You didn’t deserve that”

“Yes but you’ve apologised, I forgive you. Everything is ok” Lucifer pulled away slightly, just enough so he could look into your eyes without leaving your embrace. His face was red and stained with tears.

“How do you do that? How can you always forgive so easily?” he asked as you wiped away some of the tears with the sleeve of your shirt

“Well, with you it’s quite easy. I care too much about you to stay mad.” Lucifer rolled his eyes, as if he didn’t believe you “Plus, I know you. You are kind and caring and would never do anything to hurt me. You have a hard time managing your anger sometimes, sure, but you are working to improve.” You cupped his face with your left hand and Lucifer immediately leaned into your touch

“I’m doing my best.” he said

“And I’ll be here for you. No matter how much you dislike it sometimes!” you giggled, but than Lucifer whispered something in your palm

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Luci.”

“No, I love you Y/N” he took a step back as he said that, the closeness between you two suddenly too much to bear. You looked at him with glossy eyes, scanning his features as if you weren’t sure you heard him right and each look made Lucifer want to crawl back into the pits of hell because he was not worthy of you and he knew that.

“I’m sorry, it wasn’t the right moment, I should have just-”

“Lucifer” your voice was warm and welcoming which only made the devil feel worse. You were trying to reject him nicely, he just knew it!

“Yes?”

“You love me?” when he didn’t reply, you took a step closer, asking him again “Are you in love with me Lucifer?”

“Yes” he was crumbling once again under you. He was the devil and he’s known no weakness but somehow, someway, you managed to bring him to his knees with a single glance and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Did I get the devil to fall in love with me?”

“Perhaps..” you looked him in the eyes. You were once again standing close to him and Lucifer felt weak

“Good” you said, before grabbing onto the collar of his shirt and placing your lips on his, kissing him hard. Lucifer didn’t realise at first what you did, boldness wasn’t exactly your thing, but then, almost naturally, his arms went around your waist, pulling you into him. He felt his worries and tears fade away with every second that he felt your lips on his. He swore in that moment that no matter what, he would never ever push you away again. You were way too important!

[sabababa]

They get hit by a quirk that makes them live their greatest fear headcanons

Izuku Midoriya, Katsuki Bakugou, Mirio Togata, Shota Aizawa x GenderNeutral!Reader

Warnings: Angst (Fluff ending), cursing, mentions of cheating, mentions of death, vague mentions of PTSD (Bakugou)

Part 2: Hawks

Izuku Midoriya

He’s a nuisance to you

Izuku was running out of the dorms to get to class, but on his way there he bumped into another student

Izuku saw the world go dark, but to the student he froze for a moment with a glazed look in his eyes

The kid mumbled to himself, “oh shit,” and ran off, realizing what he’d done

Izuku’s sight came back, but the world seemed to be stuck in an eternal night

He looked around confused since he thought it was morning, but when he looked in front of him again, you were there with your back turned

“(Y/n)? When did you get here?” He reached a hand out to grab your attention

But when his palm touched your shoulder you recoiled from his touch and walked forward a couple steps, fists at your sides

“Y/n?” He squeaked out, worried that he upset you

“Just shut up!” You spun around with a look of annoyance on your face

“W-what-”

“You’re so goddamn annoying!” You yelled at him

“I-I-” Izuku wanted to defend himself, but he was in such a state of shock from your outburst

“You talk too much, you mumble all the time, you obsess over All Might like he’s some god!” You started to rant as you took threatening steps towards him

He stumbled back when you got close to him, tears welling up in his eyes as you got dangerously close to his face

“And the crying! You’re such a cry baby! It’s so weak- you’re so weak!”

That was all it took as the tears fell down his face as he sobbed from your cruel words

“That’s right! Cry! Because that’s all you know how to do!” You yelled down at him as he fell to the ground on his knees

He was hunched over, sobbing out apologizes, and begging you to stop

“Tch, you’re not even worth it, I don’t wanna date a loser like you.” You crouched and glared down at him

“N-no, please! I-I’ll be better! I-I’ll change!” He wailed and begged as he looked into your cold gaze

“Izuku,” you growled out and placed your hands on his shoulders

You shook him as he continued to cry

“Izuku!” 

He closed his eyes at the hateful tone in your voice and bawled. “S-stop! I-I-I’m sorry!” He held his face in his hands

“Izuku!” Your tone changed drastically. It was filled with care and worry

His head jerked up at the change and noticed how bright it was, it was morning again

He brought his tearful gaze to look at you and the expression on your face was different

Your brows were knitted in worry and your eyes were glossy as tears brimmed at the edges from seeing him cry

“Izuku, what happened?” You brought your hands up to his cheeks to wipe away the tears

He hiccuped, still fearful that this was all some trick so you could yell at him again “I-I’m sorry!” he wailed as he tried to pry away from your touch

“Why are you sorry? You haven’t done anything!” You fretted

Izuku’s eyes held confusion in them as he stared at you. “W-what?”

“I came out here and saw you crying on the ground,” You explained

He could feel how different this was and could see how genuinely worried you looked

Izuku sniffled as he rested his hands over yours, finally finding some peace. “I-it was dark and you were there-” he hiccuped once, “a-and you were saying these things about m-me and-and-and-” he cut himself off as he sobbed again at the memory

You brought him in for a tight hug as he cried into your shirt while you rubbed his back soothingly

“Whatever it was, it wasn’t real, and that wasn’t me,” you confirmed and gave him a squeeze

He eventually stopped crying and pulled away to wipe his messy face

Then, he explained in full detail of what happened and got choked up whenever he repeated the awful words you said

You stared at him in worry of why he would have a hallucination like that, did he really think that you would think that of him?

“Do you remember anything before that?” You asked gently as you placed a hand on his shoulder to steady him

“I-I ran into another student,” he explained, “that’s when it started,”

“Maybe it was some type of fear quirk?” You guessed

“M-maybe...” He sniffled one last time before getting up and then offered a hand to help you up

When you both stood, you pulled him in another tight hug and he returned it this time, squeezing you tight

“I’ve never thought those things of you, Izu,” his heart warmed at the nickname. “I love how passionate you are when you speak, I think it’s adorable when you mumble to yourself, and I admire how much you look up to All Might!” You replaced the terrible phrases fake you said with kinder ones, all the while you placed kisses all over his face which brought a smile to it

“I love you, Izu, don’t you ever doubt that.” You ended with a kiss on his lips

Katsuki Bakugou

You stop loving him

Katsuki was heading back to his dorm when some extra bumped into him

His vision went black before he barked at the kid

“Hey, watch it, extra-” He turned to glare at the kid, but saw he wasn’t there, instead it was night which confused the hell out of him

He knew it was late, but didn’t expect it to be dark already

He quickly made his way into the dorm, fearing it was another villain attack

When he walked in he didn’t see anyone lounging in the common room like usual

It was also eerily quiet, which only worsened his fear, but of course he didn’t let it show

He took one last quizzical look around before trudging up the stairs to his room

He sighed as he closed the door, happy to be in a relatively safe area

He made his way to the bathroom to ready himself for bed and when he walked back out he saw you sitting on his bed

“When’d you get in, dumbass?” He said in a normal tone

“We need to talk,” was all you said, your gaze directed to your hands that sat in your lap

“About what?” He chided as he walked over to his closet to change, thinking that whatever it was it wasn’t worth getting upset about

“I’m breaking up with you.”

Katsuki froze as his eyes widened 

He watched as you lifted your head to look at him

Your expression was neutral, it held no remorse or sorrow for the words you said

It felt like a golf ball was stuck in his throat as he stared at you, but he managed to growl out, “what the hell do you mean you’re breaking up with me?”

“I don’t wanna be with you anymore.”

“Why the hell not?!” He raised his voice, getting angry now at your lack of explanation. “If you’re gonna break it off, you at least owe me a damn reason!”

“I don’t owe you anything.” You sneered, the first look of emotion you gave him tonight

His aura was threatening as he walked over to tower over you

“You’re not going anywhere until you tell me why.” He growled lowly, intimidating you, but you look unphased, you just scowled at him

You stood up, making him take a few steps back as you glared at him. “You can’t make me do shit.”

You turned from him to walk out, but he wrapped his arms around your torso and trapped your arms in the embrace as well

“Let me go!” You yelled as you kicked your legs

“NOT UNTIL YOU TELL ME WHY, DUMBASS!” He yelled back

He couldn’t believe you were acting this way, he didn’t believe anything you said. Were you putting up an act because someone threatened you? Did the villains threaten your life and his if you didn’t cut yourself off from him?

“BECAUSE I DON’T LOVE YOU ANYMORE!” 

Katsuki felt a harsh pull on his heart and released you as he fell back onto his rear

You didn’t love him?

You turned on your heels and glared down at him. “I hate you!” You dug the nail in harder. “I hate how you yell! I hate how the only emotion you know is anger! I hate everything about you!”

His lip quivered at hearing those words. He knew he was rougher than most, but you always reassured him that you knew him well enough to see past it

“Y-you don’t mean that,” he tried to sound like he believed those words, but from the way his voice wavered proved otherwise

“I do.” You crossed your arms as you continued to glare down at him. “It’s like you don’t even love me and I‘m tired of it!” You turned away and grabbed the door handle, turning it to open

“NO!” He reached his hand out before roughly slamming his forehead on the ground in a bow. “I’ll change! I promise! I’ll be a better boyfriend!” He begged as tears welled in his eyes. “I’ll stop yelling! I’ll make you food everyday! I’ll start holding your hand on the way to class! I’ll kiss you more! Just please don’t leave me!” He wailed as the tears flowed down his face and onto the floor

“Suki?” You said quietly

He jerked his head up at hearing his nickname, making him hopeful that you believed the promises he made

He noticed your confused expression and mirrored it as he took in how different his surroundings looked

The room had an orange hue to it now and was no longer dark, he turned his head to look out the balcony and saw that the sun was starting to set

He jerked his head back around at feeling your hands against his face, wiping away his tears

“Suki, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” You said worriedly, having never seen him cry before

He just stared at you with a stunned expression before more tears fell as he remembered his vows

“Please don’t leave me!” He begged as he gripped your shoulders tight

“Why would I leave you? Did you kill someone? I can help you hide the body,” You jested to ease the tension as you kept wiping away his tears

But his lip still quivered as he stared at you with pleading eyes. The air felt different now, it felt like something changed and he gingerly placed his hands on your cheeks

“Do you still love me?” His voice cracked

You stared at him with concern before giving him a firm look. “Of course I love you, I never stopped!”

He let out a sigh of relief and pulled you into his lap for a tight hug

He surmised in his head that everything he saw was fake and the (Y/n) in front of him was the real you

His heart slowed down and he felt calm finally as he let out another sigh

“So, what was that about?” You asked, tilting your head up at him

“I’ll tell you later, I just wanna hold you right now,” he pressed his cheek against the top of your head and gave you a firm squeeze

A few moments of silence went by before you spoke again

“Will you really make me food everyday?” You teased

“Tch,” he scoffed at your question, but remained in the same position, only holding you tighter. “Of course I will, dumbass.”

Mirio Togata

He couldn’t save you

Mirio had a smile on his face as he walked down the hallway to meet you at your class

But as he turned a corner, someone bumped into him

He froze for a second as his mind went blank before finally speaking

“Oops, sorry, I should watch where I’m going,” he laughed, but then realized no one was there

And then looked around more to see all the students had disappeared

The lights were out too, so the setting was dark and creepy to him

His first thought was to go check on you to see if you were safe, but felt himself be held back

He turned his head around to find the culprit and saw Overhaul gripping his arm

Mirio’s blood ran cold at seeing the villain was loose

He threw a punch at him and he fell back onto the floor

Mirio took this chance to run before being stopped again by another Overhaul in front of him, his hands pushed against his chest to stop him from continuing forward

Mirio pushed him back and he fell to the floor too like the other

He turned around to take a different direction to your class before he saw your body laying in the middle of the hallway

With blood around it

You were facing away from him, so he couldn’t see your face, but he noticed you weren’t breathing

His heartrate sped up at the possibility of you being dead and as he took a single step forward, Overhaul morphed from a shadow to hover over your form

Mirio didn’t know how he was doing all this, but all he could think about was saving you

He ran at the villain as he shouted. “You bastard!” 

He punched him once again and he flew across the hall lying on the floor like the other one

Mirio knelt beside your form and gingerly picked you up

Tears welled in his eyes as he saw how lifeless your eyes were, a trail of blood left your lips

Your body was cold against his warm hands and he hated it

He wasn’t thinking rationally as he held you close to warm you back up

“Y/n...” He croaked out, the tears falling down his face now

“Y-you can’t be dead.” His shoulders shook as he held your head against his neck. “You can’t be dead!” He shouted

His eyes closed as he cried into your neck while he squished your body against him

“I failed,” he sobbed. “I couldn’t save you.” 

“Mirio...” he heard your voice speak against his ear

“(Y/n)!” He gasped in shock and opened his eyes

He quickly noticed how your body disappeared and it was bright again

Mirio looked up and saw you crouched in front of him with your hands on his shoulders, a concerned look on your face. “Miri, are you okay?”

He let out a broken sob as he wrapped his arms around your neck and pulled you into him. “You’re alive!” He wailed

“Of course, I am, it was just some quirk, none of it was real!” You explained and hugged him back

Mirio looked around the hallway, trying to find the multiple Overhauls, but instead saw students circling around him, they had scared looks on their faces and he noticed a student being helped up from the ground with blood coming out of his nose. Another student had a bruise forming on his face

“D-did I do that?” He stuttered out as he pulled back to look at you

“I just got here, but from what everyone’s telling me, yeah,” You answered

“Oh,” he looked down. “Sorry.”

“Hey, don’t apologize, it was some weird fear quirk, you were just seeing things,” You pulled away from him to help him up. “Let’s just go back to your dorm, we can cuddle and talk about it if you want,”

You wrapped an arm around his and rested your other hand against his forearm, leaning into him reassuringly

He sniffled one last time and smiled. “Yeah, I’d like that,” he leaned over and kissed you deeply

Shota Aizawa

You’re cheating on him

Aizawa struggled with the door knob as he jammed the keys inside, wanting to just fall onto your lap and sleep

He had bumped into someone on his way home and the mood around him shifted

Everything felt darker than usual, especially with it already being night

He pushed open the door finally and stumbled when his foot caught on something

It was a boot

Not one of his

And not one of yours

He looked closer and saw a similar boot nearby and then noticed clothes strewn across the floor that led to the bedroom

He recognized a few items as yours, but the other stuff didn’t look like anything you’d wear, they looked too big for you

Aizawa felt a heavy pit in the bottom of his stomach, he felt sick as he thought more on the extra clothes

It clicked in his head that you were cheating on him

He felt rage as he slammed the door shut, the noise surely woke you and your side piece

He stomped his way to your bedroom and swung the door open

He only saw you lying in bed, but more clothes were every where, and none of them were his

A pain surged through his heart seeing these foreign clothes

“Shota?” He heard your voice from your shared bed

Your head rose and you gave him a tired look

The anger he felt washed away once he saw you. No matter how angry he got he could never be mad at you

“Why’d you do it?” His hair covered his eyes

“What?” You said groggily, still trying to process waking up

“Am I not enough?” He asked

“What’re you talking about?” You sat up more more as you stared at him, the blanket fell slightly, and he saw that you weren’t wearing a top

His lip twitched in annoyance. “Could you not act like I don’t see the clothes everywhere?”

“Can’t believe the dumbass left his clothes,” you chided, mostly to yourself as you tried to keep the blanket up to cover your top half

Okay, now it really hurt that you acknowledged it

His hands balled into fists at his sides as he glared at the floor

“Why?” he walked closer to you

“You’re never here,” You answered and scowled at the wall in front of you as you leaned against the headboard, crossing your arms

Now that he was closer, he saw the hickies that littered your neck and collarbone

Another pain flashed in his heart at seeing someone else had marked you

“You knew what my schedule was like before we dated,” he gritted his teeth. “You said you didn’t care, as long as I came home to you.”

“Yeah, well, I changed my mind, I have a right to do that,” You grumbled back, still not looking at him

“So, you don’t want to be with me anymore?” He finally asked

“I don’t want to be with you anymore.” You confirmed

Aizawa fell to his knees in defeat

Tears welled up in his eyes as he stared blankly at the floor

“I’m sorry,” his voice cracked slightly

“Shota?” You questioned in a light and airy tone, a tone you used often with him to put him at ease

He lifted his head to look at you and saw you standing above him

You were wearing pajamas, the love bites on your neck were gone, and you had a look of concern on your face

He felt the air change again, he could breath easier now, he noticed, and seeing you in clothes and unmarked brought some hope to him that you were still his

He also noticed that all the clothes disappeared, the floor was clean

“Shota?” You spoke again and sat in front of him, holding his hands. “Can you hear me?”

He stared at you confused. “Of course I can hear you,”

You let out a sigh of relief and tackled him in a hug, causing both of you to fall over

“I was so worried! I kept talking to you, but it’s like you were having some one-sided conversation!” You hugged him tight and pressed your face into his neck

“So none of that happened?” He said aloud

What happened? What did you see?” You raised your head to look down at him

“I thought you were cheating on me,” he said and brushed his hand near your neck. “You had hickies all over you.”

“I would never cheat on you!” You shook him slightly as you were insulted at the thought

“I know, I know,” he put his hand over yours to reassure you. “I know you wouldn’t, I just have doubts about myself sometimes and I feel like you have them too.”

“Never!” You shook your head and pressed a kiss to his lips to which he gladly returned. “I love you, Shota, and I don’t care about your schedule,” you wrapped your arms around him again, “just keep coming home to me.” 

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Masterlist

[thefanbasewhore]

“Mine.”

Summary: Din says goodbye to reader and Grogu but once they are reunited Din has mixed feels about the situation, jealous of Luke.

Warning/content: Angst, Jealous!Din, fighting between Din and Luke and reader and Din, Jedi!Reader. Din accuses reader of cheating. Nothing too spicey unless you guys would like a second part ? But would recommend 18+, Season 2 spoilers 

Paring: Din Djarin/Female Reader

Master list. || Part 2. 

There's a shift on tension in the room, it didn't go unnoticed much like the feeling of your own heart breaking. It's breaking for Grogu, for Din, your Mandolorian, who stands tall, strong despite the crushing feeling inside his chest. He's helmetless in a room full of people for the first time ever willingly, he does it for the boy, the child he loves.

It's the first time you see his face, his hair is messy but it's cute, brown in color with small ringlets that curl against the base of his neck, his eyes are expresso brown, smooth curve of his nose is small but prominent, lips pink and form the perfect pout, small hairs from his mustache curling across his top lip. He is so incredibly handsome, but your sorrow won't let you see that, there is no time to think about. The child presses a soft touch against his square jaw, in his own way of saying, "I see you."

This makes tears even well up in your own eyes as he looks over Din's shoulder, reaching out for you. The last thing you expect when Din head turns over his shoulder to look at you are the matching tears. It's hard to stop, squeezing his eyes shut as he bites his bottom lip, chewing at it nervously. 

The two strides it takes to finally reach them is like the longest walk of your life, your head rests against the Mandalorian's chest piece as you take the small guy into your arms, squeezing him close. The sob that falls from your lips doesn't go unnoticed as Din presses his large, gloved hand to your back, rubbing it in comfort. "Be good, little one." It's whispered as you hold him cheek to cheek. "You're going to do so well."

"Don't be afraid." Din's fingers find the child, placing him on the ground, knowing well you wouldn't be able to.

Grogu's eyes met yours with confusion as the Jedi picks him up. There's an unknown feeling within you, almost like you can feel his sadness but also excitement of learning once again. It makes you worried as his eyes peer at you, head tilting to the side. He's trying to tell you something, but you just can't hear it.

It isn't strong, actually you like to think your connection to the force as a small, annoying dangling thread stuck to the bottom of someone's boot that is always there, no matter how much they pull or prod it just falls through fingers but then again you never had a chance to learn from anyone.

All eyes are on you, breaking from your trance like thought as to look up to meet Din's eyes then Luke's, realizing they were directed towards you. "Did you say something?"

"Are you coming too?" Luke's words make you confused, eyebrows narrowing with a frown. The thought alone is enough to feel a ball in your throat, despite the words you’ve spoken, his intensions were clear from the start. 

 “You need training too." Din's hand stiffens against your lower back, chest momentarily at a pause as he realizes what is happening. He knew about this, even though you were clueless of what the force is, you knew it was in you, had told him and Ashoka questioned it about it only days ago. Never had he thought he'd loose both of the people that mean the most to him on the same day, it was almost..unbearable. A pregnant silence falling between everyone, Din can’t speak, he pauses, words trembling in his throat as he looks to you with pouty eyes.

Eyes meet Din's, shaking your head pressing yourself deeper into his chest. A familiar place that was warm, safe, How could you ever leave him? "No, I'm staying here."

"Go." Din urges, the hand applying just enough pressure toward the Jedi, trying to explain his words, it was okay. His flushes his own forehead against yours as he tilts your face towards his own, kissing the hair line softly. "Don't let me stop you, you need training."

"But --."

"I'll see you again, I swear by it." He promises, hands cup your cheeks, bringing your lips to his own. Fresh, new tears slip past both of sets of eyes. Goodbyes were never easy but necessary, destiny has written it long ago and Din Djarin of all people knows that. The kiss is soft, but you can't seem to pull yourself away pressing a few more in their wake. The movement of his arms wrapping around your waist lifts your feet from the ground as he hugs you close. Lips tickle your ear as he whispers, "I'll see you soon sweet girl, don't forget how strong you are."

"I love you." It's the first time the words are said, while his heart squeezes in joy, but mouth dries at the words he's always wanted to hear, he wishes you never said them, it makes good bye so much harder.

"I love you." He answers back truthfully, using the back of his hand to wipe the sizzling trail of tears from his cheek as you step away. Grogu reaches out almost instantly for his mother, the familiarity is more comforting then the stranger’s arms. You follow the Jedi when reaching the loft and turn around waving at your Mandalorian one more time. Din can't find himself to return it, shoulders leaning forward compensating for the pain he feels in his heart. It's heavy, putting all of his trust into one man but at least you and Grogu had each other.

-

You are barely able to suppress the shriek that is mumbles against your lips as the base of Luke's foot comes in contact with your chest, pushing you from the advantage you finally gained. While you try to reach for him he’s too fast, too skilled as he swiftly moves from the counter attack.

"Ugh!" The sound ripples from your raw throat as the pair circle each other, waiting for the next move, lightsabers in the air, it's a waiting game. "Stop doing that it's not fair!"

"Why isn't it fair? You left it open. Do better."

You huff, "I have boobs! Well who knows anymore? After that."

The last few months have not only been the most terrifying of your life but also the most exciting, borderline exhilarating. At first it wasn’t noticeable, arms would ache for holding the saber in the air for a few minutes but with every passing day it became lighter and lighter until you moved with uttermost swiftness, the saber a feather in your hands. Never had you thought you would love to fight, being able to finally control the owner within. Luke had become family, taking you in and helping you. It has been quite difficult, Luke was a perfectionist at best, he was not happy unless everything was done right, which once made you sore and cry, but looking back at it now, you have mastered so much. The amount of long hours of sitting at the table trying to pass a stupid apple back and forth, learning to be silent, trying to sneak up on an opponent but now it’s easy, all thanks to Luke but still to this day you can't even look at an apple, let alone eat it.

Even though he is picky, you understand. He has made you strong, happy to learn about the very thing you understand nothing about. It’s safe to say you were ignorant, taking advantage of the gift given to you.  

Luke rolls his eyes, the green saber retreating back into the canister as he tucks it back into his belt. "Training is done for now."

Your head tilts in understanding, tucking away the bright light until is clicks into the holder attached to your belt. There's a lingering silence, figuring it’s a  silent dismissal turning to return home but Luke's voice stops you. "Padawan?"

"Yes Master?"

"I sent out word to your Mandolorian." The smile drops from your face almost instantly, serious eyes look over his own for the lie, for the joke as if he would break into laughter but he didn't. He's still as he gives a shy smile, you tense instantly, heart stuttering inside your chest, it must be a joke. Your about to curse, tell him it's not funny but he beats you to it. "I sent out days ago, he is due any day now."

"You're serious? It's not funny --."

"You have done well, you exceeded my expectations. You deserve to have some time off. You and Grogu, it's been months." You squeal excitedly, the smile crinkles eyes, almost hurts because it's been so long since you felt genuine happiness.

"Now come, the little one is waiting."

-

Dinner has to be your favorite time of the day, only because after the relief your aching body gets, sore, black and blue but strong, you’re capable of more than you’ve ever known to be. Luke always reminds you, never lets you falter, never lets you have the chance to doubt yourself, he’s always there to remind you much you’ve accomplished but there is always more to learn. He's a good master, fair but authoritative when need be, he's shown you so much but had given you so much more: a purpose, a friend.

With dinner came relief but also meant you could see Grogu, he hasn't grown much physically but the force has made him powerful, such a small creature to have so much but it is so different with him. While the force only touched you, it seems to run through Grogu's veins, it's so natural to him. 

Luke is right next to you, sitting in the uncomfortable excuse of a chair but happy none the less as Grogu sits in the middle of the table in front of his plate with a coo, large black eyes peering up at his master, head tilting. "What's wrong little one?"

You don't need the force to feel what he's thinking, you communicated with this little guy way before all of this feeling though the force mumbo jumbo. The force was  never needed to feel him, understand the boy.  Reaching over to Luke's plate with a cheeky smile using your own fork to poke the potato. "He likes the hash."

Both of you are so occupied the hole of silence the hall falls into is unoticed, the heavy steps of boots that haunt your dreams. The Mandalorian seems so big in the hall, all the basker gives off the illusion of large broad shoulders, a thick trunk that matches the man underneath, he’s intimidating as eyes shift off him quickly to return back to their meal, no one would dare try a Mandalorian, even trained Jedi. Din eyes meet the back of your head, heart thumping in anticipation of seeing his love again. It's been seven months, seven agonizing, brutal months without his family. Any other man would go insane but this very moment is the reason he continued to fight, when he received the message from Luke he couldn’t believe it. Seven months with no communication, your voice haunted his dreams just wanting to hear it one more time.

But now, he feels his heart drop, his own body filling with dread, anxiety at the close proximity of you and the Jedi, faces inches away in conversation. The way small dimples pop through as you smile shyly at him, Luke's own laugh as he leans closer to Grogu.

The sight of him alone is enough to have Din choked up if it wasn't for the way Luke reached for your fork, feeding Grogu a few bites, whatever he didn't eat was taken into his own mouth. When his lips close around the fork Din's fist bunch at his sides, it was too intimate for teacher and student. That's his girl, his son he is feeding.

You do however notice how Luke's head turns in the direction behind you, but continue talking eyes narrowing to question why. He's not paying attention to your words only smiling, like he knows something you don’t. When there's no answer you decide to look yourself, at first you don't register that Din is only feet away, dead center of the hall. Head snaps back in a double take as anticipation makes your heart flutter, emotion fills your throat making it hard to speak, even move.

Feet register before your brain has the opportunity to, running towards him with a loud laugh of joy. He has to brace himself for the impact when you jump on him, a small 'ooof' leaving his lips as he catches the weight. Arms support you from under thighs, holding close as your legs tighten around his waist.

Your smile is wide, never ending the most as he holds the blushing skin of your cheek, the other hand on the underneath skin of your thighs holding you to the basker clad chest. Beautiful, absolutely breath taking. He's seen this in his dreams, reuniting with you but this is too real, the soft flesh expanding on his palm is too soft. The sight of you after so long is euphoric, its hard to breath with you so close, to concentrate on anything but the way your lips curl into a smile, eyes so lovingly with unshed tears. It's a relief to see you so alive and well, stronger under his own strength but as soft he remembers.

"I missed you Cyar'ika." It's breathlessly whispered into the vocoder, static chokes his words but it may be the tremble in his throat as a hand knots into hair to pull you closer.

"Oh." You mumble under your breath with as realize the stares that follow you, quickly you lower your feet to the ground but your hand never leaves his forearm, clenching the underneath, tunic crumpling in your hands. Now that he's here you never want to let go. "Come see Grogu."

Din can't even get a word out as he's pulled towards the table, he nods, acknowledging Luke despite the tension he manifests. The reunion warms your heart, it makes it harder not to crying as you feel Grogu's emotions run through you. He feels love.. he's excited extending his arms with grapy hands.

With no hesitation the child is once again reunited with the basker clad man.. his truthful father. It's a sigh of relief that falls from Din that makes you smile up at him. Din reaches over with his free hand, cupping your cheek. No words were said, not in the presence of a stranger but it's shown in the way his thumb moves across the smooth skin of your cheek.

-

The moment he entered the room darkness cascades over them, small, familiar hands press against the the basker that covers his head, a silent ask for permission. "Cyar'ika, it's --."

"I can't believe you're here, I missed you so much love." Din's eyes close so tightly at the words, he doesn't want to stop you. He wants to feel your skin pressed against his, he swears he's almost knocked off his feet when the helmet falls to the ground with a loud thump lips brusingly hard against his own.

"Sweet -." He tries to speak against but is met with the softness again, tongue seeking permission against his bottom lip.

"Missed you." Lips press against his jaw, following to his neck sucking softly on the smooth skin. A small, choked moan falls from his lips as you nip at the junction between his clavicle and throat.

The feeling of welted skin has you raising your head up in confusion, fingers taking place of your lips to feel the healing skin. It's not a scar or a wound but purposely put there, as you trace it with your fingers you begin to paint a small picture with the raised lines.

"It's a symbol of leadership along my people." He answers, hands reaching up to gently wrap around your wrist, bringing it to press against his cheek. His next words almost as unexpected as learning he has a new tattoo on his neck. "Would you like to see it?"

"But the creed.." you mumble, eyes roaming over the slightest curve of his face the darkness of allows as he pushes you to straddle his lap, his other hand running over the expanding skin of your thigh.

"It's nothing you haven't seen before my love." He's referring to the moment before you and the child left him, kissing him goodbye. "The creed is broken but I am a Mandalorian, nothing will change that."

"But, I ugh." The words are not of the man you knew almost a year ago, but show maturity, experience has formed him into a new person but nonetheless he still is yours.

It's just dawned on you now, while you were growing with power was so was Din. The lightsaber pressing against your outer thigh reminded you of it, while you have gained one, Din had ruled with one. Every new experience, lesson, moments spent crying Din has had similar, except his people depend on him for survival.

"Oh my God." You mumble under your breath, eyes widening in shock. His words, the tattoo meaning, the new signet pressed into his chest, the thicker tunic decorated with a gold pattern, you were so busy just concentrating the fact he was here, you never bothered to look at the changes, the clues. Two large horns soldered into his helmet you never noticed until now poke against your ankle. "You actually did it? I though you didn't want it."

"It's my responsibility to my people to get our home back. Once you left I had nothing but them, Bo-Katan has been helping me. We are so close Cyar'ika." Din presses his forehead against the skin of your shoulder, breathing deeply. "I can't wait to show you."

"So close to what?"

"Not hiding anymore, to regaining Mandalore." The words make your skin warm, a soft smile filled with admiration, proudness. "I'm building a home for us."

"You have changed Din."

"So have you Cyare. You look so well, feel so strong. You are where you’ve always belonged." He is right, there's something that changes in the air when you are nearby now; a power that follows you, makes everyone fear the presence but he loves it. "I wish I could have been here to see it. I dream of when we will be together again."

"Can I see?" The words are unsure, despite his earlier words old habits die hard, promising never to look unless he wants it, it was his choice, never yours.

"Please." It's soft, tender as you shakily wobble on legs to walk across the room, fingers ghost over the switch before a loud knock against the door makes even Din's stomach drop.

"Padawan?" Luke's voice makes Din scowl, what is it with this guy?

"Yes Master?" The way you answer so quickly with little regard towards Din has him swollowing loudly, jealousy searing his veins, it makes his forehead hot.

"While I have promised you a break the day is still not over, training will continue."

"Be right out." It's quick, the kiss pressed against his lips, it has him reaching out to hold you again but you already out the door leaving him gritting his teeth.

-

When he finds you again it almost an hour of looking for you. He's irritated, it shows in the way he walks, tall and intimidating with every crunch of sand under his boots.

Despite it being evening the sun is still blaring, it's too hot for anything but he manages to power through, though taking off the helmet is an option if is his only line of defense when it comes to be surrounded by Jedis.

It's an odd sight, you're legs are crossed as Grogu sits feet in front of you. Eyelashes fluttering in concentration, frustration clear in the way the junction between your eye brow wrinkles. It's magical, the way the large rock moves across the length of the pair. It's amazing truly, he's watched the kid do it many times but with you, it's different, seven months ago you could barely hold a blaster let alone do this.

He was in complete awe, watching as Grogu takes the rock himself but to him it's effortless. He doesn't even bat an eye as the rock moves higher and higher until it's explodes. The small pieces shoot towards him, the rocks dink against his helmet knocking him forward that he doesn't give you enough time to warn you that there's someone behind you, he feels himself jump forward to protect  but natural reflexes already have you up, your own blue saber flashes with Luke's green one.

It's a relief it's only him but also makes him want to longue and wrap his hands around his throat for even trying to attack you, it's instincts, his own will to protect his family. He was so caught up with his own anger, he didn't notice the small hands tugging at his pant leg.

"Hey buddy." It's the soft coo that warms his heart, the sound he missed so late at night, all by himself. It feels so right to have him in his arms again, it's a distraction for a moment, but the loud shriek that mumbles against your lips as the saber slices your arm breaks the moment.

Din stalks toward without hesitation, hands reaching out to pull Luke by his collar but hand stops half way there; a choking sound falling from his lips as he feels his throat start to close.

"Luke!" You exclaim, hands pulling on his shoulder. "Stop!"

Luke doesn't listen, tilts his head as the Mandalorian's other hand reaches for his own neck, the child falls from his arms but Luke reaches for Grogu as he floats towards him and that is when he decides to let go of his hold on Din.

"She is fine." Luke's tone is accusing, eyes lit up in anger. He knew the reasoning behind the Mandalorian's attack but it irritates him. Din falls to the ground into his knees as he coughs, lung begging for air. "She will heal, it's no wonder she was afraid of the force. You made her feel as if she was weak. Couldn't protect herself. Can't you see she is strong?"

The words sting a bit, you never felt like that with Din but the words of your master, where they true? Had he been the reason you never felt the force like this before? It’s not his fault, he’s always been a protector.

"Yes." Din chokes on the words, it's surprises Luke how quickly he recovers, leaning on knees, visor tilting up to meet his gaze. "I do, I don't need you telling me either Jedi."

The last word is spoken with gritted teeth, disgust as he stands, squaring up the man in front of him, pressing the top of his basker against Luke’s face. 

"Then do her a favor and never, ever underestimate her again." Din doesn't like what the Jedi is insinuating, hands balling in fist, finger coming to poke the Jedi's chest as he speaks. "Respect her Mandalorian."

"I do." You're about to squeeze between the two men but Din speaks too fast. "I don't need any magic tricks to beat your ass either."

"Din!" You hiss, the helmet pointing in your direction as a growl admits his chest.

"You're sticking up for him?!" Then once again you're minded how immature Din Djarin can really be. He's protective, overbearing but you expect more from Luke as he speaks. "You're just taking out the fact that Grogu and the girl are in my care, they are with me."

"My son, my girl." Then it hit you, all so sudden he wasn't an asshole, maybe a little immature, but he was jealous. The growl that rumbled his chest made even you shake. You couldn't find yourself to blame him either, both of the people he's ever cared for pulled from his arms, seven months spent with Luke. It made him insecure, dear the worst.

"Enough!" A hand presses against each other their chests, meeting Luke's first. Eyes warn him, "I expect more from you."

Then they move to Din with a scowl, "And you have no reason to be like this, Luke is my friend. He is helping me! I am strong now because of him."

"You have always been strong." The words make you pause, heart dropping. Guilt dropping your shoulders instantly. "You never needed to hold a lightsaber for me to see that."

A strong, confident finger lifts lifts towards Luke's direction, it looks like he's going to say something else judging by his stance, looks over you one more time then Grogu before stalking away towards the direction of the hall.

-

It's only an hour later, and Din is no where to be found. Luke has told you he's taken the child for a little bit, you can only imagine how that exchange went but respectfully allow him to have time with him, besides you doubt he wants to see you right now.

He was right, it was a force of habit trying to protect you but he has never doubted or hesitated for one second when it came to you. There has only been one person who has ever believed that anything was possible for you and it's the one you managed to chase away.

The room is dark, the only light comes from the gasps of the curtains the moon allows in. You have given up on waiting on the bed, instead curl up on the large longue chair in the corner, book open but you wouldn't even notice if there weren't any words. Too deep in thought over your Mandalorian.

What If he leaves without seeing you? Surely, he wouldn't, it was stupid fight, it shouldn't have happened but you shouldn't have accused him either. The rattling of the door knob makes you pause, daring not to breath that it might scare him away. He's quiet as the silhouette of armour makes it through the doorway, shiny, the darkness of his visor camouflaging him throughout the door.

The light flickers on, you want to squeeze your eyes shut, away from his gaze out of fear he might leave again seeing that you aren’t sleeping, waiting for him.

He doesn't speak, only stiffens his stance, arms crossing his chest as the helmet tilts down in your direction. "What are you doing?"

"Reading."

"In the dark?" You have been caught there's no reason to argue with him just turn a dark shade of pink as the book is closed with a loud echo. Tension fills the air, you're torn between apologizing and expect one first, his behavior was inappropriate.

"Are you happy here?" It's surprising watching the Mandalorian walk close until he's between the V of your legs, a soft breath caught through the static as he uses your thighs as an anchor for his hands as he slowly lowers to the floor in front of you. His force his horse as leans over, pressure pressed against your chin, it's not enough to hurt but enough to show he is angry. "Is there someone here making you happy? That isn't me?"

You don't like what he's insinuating, brow furrow with a deep frown and a scoff, "If you have something to ask I suggest you come out with it Din."

"Are you fucking him?" The words make you huff, pushing the warmth of his skin away but he reaches out to touch you again. He wants you to look at him, he wants to see the truth your eyes will tell.

The fucking nerve he has to knot his fingers into your hair, keep your head still as the visor moves up and down the soft features of your face, it's soft but shows meaning. At this very moment you here the way your body reacts to him, wanting to move closer, wrap the other hand around your neck at his tone, the authority in his voice. "I asked you a question."

"Really?" The way he stares just irritates you. Spending all your nights longing for him, all the tears wasted on missing him just for him to believe you were unfaithful. "I can't believe you just asked me that."

"Don't act like it's all me! I can see it, you sit so close that you're practically on his lap. He ate from your fork. He comes to your aid like I don't know you can take care of yourself, tells me of all people to respect you, never undermine you. When have I ever? He seems to forget that I was the person who first trained you. So, I'm going to ask you one more time. Are you fucking the Jedi? Do you like him?"

"Get out of my face Din!" The heat of his visor, the blackness hides any kind of emotion, all you see is the anger that comes from his throat, words stinging cheeks. It's impossible to concentrate with him so close, pressing his entire weight against your thighs.

"Tell me now." The words harsh, he needs to know, hear the words from your lips to know they are true.

"No! How dare you even accuse me of that? I have been waiting for months to see you again and you accuse me of being unfaithful?" The tears sting, almost hurt as much as knowing Din has little trust in you. His chest is raising fast, deep, quick breaths against your knee, showing just how worked up he is, he's frustrated, the throbbing in his pants gives that away and makes you think if there’s a different reason. He's insecure, jealous, absolutely pissed.

The harsh fingers leave your hair only to meet the edge of his helmet, you don't even get time to register before it falls to the floor next to you. Seeing is face is.. different this time.

It's clear, the first time was rushed, tear filled but now he look so.. good.

His brows furrowed in anger, nostrils flaring, hair thrown messily across his forehead, you don't even get time to look at his lips before his hands touch your cheeks pulling you into a bruising kiss, fingers nails forming small crescents on hips as the words are moaned against your lips, rushed with how desperate the Mandalorian is.

"You are mine." It's not the words that make you gasp but the hand that tugs the tips of your hair, pulling your head down more to accept his crushing lips. "Mine."

tags: @remmyswritings​, @b0nnyzz​, @heavenlymistake​, @mcueveryday​, @phantomofthewapera, @dindjarinswhore​, @hellothereobi​, @mudhornchronicles​, @alwaysreading1019, @stepintothelightz, @pepmintmocha​, @charlottemcgrace​, @the-last-twin-of-krypton​, @disgvst-d​, @atrxdixs​, @cal-ifornication​, @acourtofsnakes​, @waiting-for-motivation​, @that-sarcastic-pieces, @writings-of-a-fool​, @theocatkov​, @itsfangirlmendes​, @maileecabudol​, @ghost-lantern​, @mandoandyodito​, @sleep-deprived-things​,  @maddie0w0​, @bluegalaxyprime​, @stilledimperfections​, @altarsw​

[subwaysurf45]

Winter Makes Ice (Ep.5)

Summary:  you’re captured after a brawl at the Avengers building, Bucky and others must save you before Hydra makes a new Winter Soldier out of you, Bucky has given up that title.

Words: 4344

Episode: five

Warning: violence, nudity, needles, descriptions of injury

Masterlist! Winter Makes Ice Episode: Four

Time: unknown

Date: unknown

You knew they had full control over you. There was nothing you could do even though you were conscious all the time, your body did what they wanted but your brain screamed against it. There were times where they’d ask you to do the impossible, they’d make you climb the tallest tree in the forest that surrounded the building and then make you jump down without anything to catch you, you’d land and your ankle would break; the worst was when they told you to break it back in place. 

It was like you were sat in a large chair as you watched your life unfold in the cell, your wrists were strapped to this imaginary chair so you couldn’t reach out to block the punch, ankles were clasped so you couldn’t run away. You never became lucid, it was always you watching through the shell of your body. Crying yourself to sleep wasn’t an option, you weren’t allowed to cry, or laugh, or scream, or smile; you were dead on the outside. The feeling of control was so close but yet so far away. 

There was a moment, just a moment. More I.C.E. had just been injected as you hung from the cuff restraints, you swung lightly as you dangled there. The cell door closed and the silence you were left with was getting louder by the second, your brain starting to pound like it always did and right at the back of your head near the bottom began to pulse, like you were being stabbed. The pain, hunger, exhaustion built up until that one moment, your eyes were slowly closing but as they closed you could see something right in front of you, something was moving. You couldn’t reach out to touch it because you were chained but as you crossed your eyes all you saw was a little black thing slightly swinging with you. 

It was the tip of your nose. 

Your fingers had also begun to blacken, it was about to hit your first knuckle. 

That was when you let the control fully go to the I.C.E. flowing in your veins, the power to keep yourself above water was only getting more and more tiring. No one had tried to save you so they probably were never going to come. Part of you thought Bucky would be there in less than a day, he’d break walls and towers for you, but it might have just been words to make you think he loved you, just sounds put together as a fake. 

Time: 6:10am

Date: October 3rd 2024

“Darling, It’s me, It’s Bucky, you’re safe now.” Bucky spoke softly, he flickered between your eyes and nose. You didn’t say anything, just looked right through him. “I will not fight you, but we need to get out of here, we have to go.” He urged, right when he finished talking you stepped forward, he was shocked to see you move, it was rigid and robotic. “Baby, explain what’s going on, please baby?” Bucky stepped forward and reached out, his hand lightly touched your shoulder but he studied your face as he did so. Your nose would have scrunched up but with the lack of that it was just your eyebrows that pulled together. Bucky looked around the room to try and find any sign of how to get you out of your trance; the papers he flicked through were now getting thoroughly read through. All you did was stare at him, waiting for a command. 

“Bucky, it’s all clear down here, some got away though,” Steve breathed heavily as he spoke through the coms. “There's this guy who looked to be the head and he got away, didn’t get a good look at him.” 

Bucky turned to you, “who’s the leader here?”

“No one gave their name.” You answer quickly. 

“What did he look like?” Bucky left the papers and walked to you, he grabbed a lab coat on the way to cover your scared and naked body. 

“Slick black hair. Black eyes. Heart shaped face. No facial hair. Slit through his left eyebrow. Hydra ring on his finger.” Your eyes closed as you computed the man who poured the ice water on you multiple times. “Height: six foot. Weight: around one eighty. Scars, markings, tattoos: none.” Bucky watched you in shock, “any other specifics, James?” 

“N-no, well done.” He nodded and threw the coat around you, “we’re going to leave now, okay?” Bucky took your hand and led you toward the door. 

Your feet tread silently while Bucky’s combat boots echoed three times down the grey hallway, it scared you every time he’d step. With every loud sound came a hard punch, it was a way for you to brace yourself when they’d catch you talking about your past life. As you walked closer to the doors your fingers found their way to the walls, still grey like the floor but clean, the floor was covered in dead bodies and blood from the invasion. 

The doctors and agents you knew were slumped over against the wall or splayed out in the middle of the hallways, some people’s blood had congealed while others still created a larger pool around the Hydra operatives. The smell of death didn’t read on your face but it did on Bucky’s, the smell of the inside of your cell just carried out here it seemed like. You were unaware of your smell, part of you thought it was the lack of nose but the other knew it was the lack of fresh air and being surrounded by copious amounts of blood. 

“Where to, Sergeant Barnes?” the feeling of someone holding your hand was foreign, his thumb kept swiping back and forth.

“Call me Bucky,” he looked back with sorrow in his eyes. You stopped walking and lowered your head, “what are you doing?” he asked. 

“Waiting for punishment,” you spoke softly, knowing they went easier on you if you knew you messed up. There’d be times where you’d push your luck and stare them down but once you grew tired of being tough you head would bow and you waited for the strike, it was now a reaction to any type of dissatisfactory.

“No, no punishment anymore,” his eyes filled with tears and he brought you under his arms, his lips kissed the crown of your head as he opened the doors. He kept you under his arm as he opened them, metal arm gripping right on your forearm. 

The sun was barely meeting the surface and yet you had to squint to adjust, everything had a hue of red. The grass felt foreign under your bare feet as you stepped off the tiles and into nature, your toes gripped the leaves and grass as they walked. Your lungs felt like they were about to explode with the intake of fresh air, your nose could still work but it was slightly harder to breathe, the cool wind blew into your mouth and gripped the back of your throat which made you double over to the cough. Your knee popped out of the front slit on the closed lab coat, you were used to feeling naked and vulnerable; Bucky was the one to close it again. 

Steve, Wanda, and Nat all stood by the jet.

Wanda screamed your name and ran up to you, her arms pulled you into a tight hug but you curled in and waited for the strike. She pulled away and the feeling of rigidness, “y/n?” She questioned, her hand coming to cup your cheek but you stepped back and held your hand up for protection. Wanda brought her hands into her chest, she looked between Bucky and you but Bucky just shook his head with a few tear tracks present on his face; Wanda was beginning to develop her own after she looked back at you before turning away. 

You didn’t really know why everyone was crying, “Scarlet Witch, Wanda Maximof.” your head slightly bowed, you looked over her to see the others behind her shoulder, “Captain Steve Rogers and Natasha Rominoff, a pleasure.” Their faces seemed worried and Nat looked disgusted, she brought her hand to cover her mouth as she walked up the steps to the jet. 

Wanda got your attention again, “hello, we’re going to take you home, alright?” Wanda took your hand, “do you remember me?” 

“From?” was all you said as you made it into the jet. Wanda covered sob with her hand as she turned away from you to sit beside Nat, she was also crying.

Steve didn’t even look at you, he walked straight to Bucky. Steve caught him right as Bucky’s knees were buckling, Bucky caught onto Steve and they both slowly made it to the ground. It seemed like they guided each other, both holding onto one another for dear life. It was a common understanding, grief was written on both of them. 

“She’s fucking gone, Steve!” Bucky cried into Steve’s uniform, the blue turning navy with the tears. “She called me James! She doesn’t know who I am, I can't- I don know- what did they-”

“Bucky, it’s alright,” Steve calmed him as Bucky began to hyperventilate, “we’re going to get her back, I promise.” Steve gripped onto Bucky’s shoulders and they both stood, a little wobbly but both were extremely tired and light headed. “I’ll handle everything,” they walked to the jet, “just be there for her and I figure everything else out, alright?” Steve made Bucky look at him. 

“Sure…” was all Bucky could muster. 

They all made it to the jet, you were placed in a room off to the right. Bucky went right in there to see you curled on the ground when there was an examination table in the middle of the room, he kneeled beside you and ghosted a hand down your shin to try and get your attention. 

“It’s Bucky, let’s sit up on the table, okay?” Bucky eased but you didn’t move, his eyes closed as he fought with himself. He didn’t want to abuse your injected substance, but he really needed you on the exam table to check your wounds. “On the exam table.” he didn’t speak harshly or yell, it was just Bucky’s normal tone. 

You shot up instantly and sat on the edge of the table, your legs hung off it and the lab coat was forgotten, it was still around you but it seemed you were told to be naked so often it became second nature. Bucky turned toward you and stood between your legs so he could get a good look at you, he could tell you were staring deep into his eyes, he didn’t want to look in yours yet, he wanted to look you deep in the eyes and have you pull him in for a kiss, maybe it was selfish but he needed it. 

“I’m going to do something called a head-to-toe check,” he informed but he knew you knew what this was. He slipped on the disposable gloves, “I know you have cuts and scars but I need to find active bleeding first, alright?” Bucky held up his hands to show nothing was on the gloves. “Tell me if I’m making you uncomfortable.”

“Nothing is-”

“That’s an order.” Bucky added, “I’m commanding you to tell me if you don’t want me touching somewhere,” he knew he had checked you, there might be a way you could find a loophole in his command and get him further from a checkmate but he was making progress. 

His hands gently tapped all around you, he was asking questions as he did so but you didn’t answer any of them. You were now looking straight forward, when Bucky looked to your face for any sign of his girl you’d give no hints or answer. His hands worked down to your chest, he hesitated over your breasts but you gave no indication that you were uncomfortable, when he looked for bumps, bruises, or blood he didn’t find much, just scratch marks that looked old. He did the same when he hit your waist, not a lot of touching but looking, it wasn’t thorough but he knew you wouldn’t say anything and he might trigger you again. 

His gloves weren’t picking up much, most cuts were partly healed and the bruises were very noticeable. Part of a head-to-toe check is seeing how the victim reacts to the pressure, if you tap their stomach and they flinch it could be internal bleeding or a broken rib, but you weren’t giving any sign of hurt. He knew you could feel the broken bones and the bruises but you would never tell him in the mindset you’re in. he watched for little twitches in the eye or some type of pull away from him wherever he touched, Bucky wanted to reach in and find your brain so that you could tell him what hurts; he wanted to help you so bad. 

“Do you know how long you’ve been gone?” Bucky asked as he picked up your left leg, turning and examining it. He found a deep red mark on the edge of a purple bruise on your ankle, there was the exact same one on the other and on your wrists. He pushed away your hair and moved the lab coat back to find a massive bruise with cuts all around your neck, it was impeccable your vocal chords weren’t fried after being put in that cuff contraption. 

“Gone from where?” you asked robotically, you didn’t even look at him. 

Bucky was taken back by your answer, he stumbled with his hands as he switched legs. “F-from home, y/n. Shield, home?” 

“Hydra is my home, it was where I was created.” your head turned to allow your eyes to lock with Bucky’s. 

Part of him wanted to scream and shake your head so hard it might knock a memory back in place, he wanted to tell you of your story and how you both grew. Bucky wanted to tell you about the drawings you do with Steve or the boxing in the early mornings, he wanted to overflow you with emotions but he knew they’d hit a brick wall. 

Bucky finished his exam but he needed to keep you for himself for a little longer, he pretended to check your pupils and pulse three more times but all he wanted was to feel the warmth of your skin. His eyes would catch the tip of your nose swinging as he moved you slightly, he had an entire set of questions just for that. But he just kept looking at you for no reason. He’d ask if you’re cold and you’d say no, he’d ask if you were hungry and you’d say no. he’d ask if you were thirsty, you’d say no. 

So he stopped asking, “drink this water.” He pulled the little water bottle from the back of his belt loop, the little tear drop shaped bottle fit perfectly in her hands. 

You grasped the frosted bottle, it seemed familiar to you. You never got water in your cell, you’d have to suck on the floor after the doctor left; they’d always wake you up by dumping ice water on your head. Calloused fingers gripped and felt the bottle, something was happening in your brain that you couldn't quite understand, you were feeling something deep within you. 

“Drink.” Bucky said again. 

“Wait,” you whispered, all you saw was black form shutting your eyes so tight. You didn’t see Bucky’s face as he waited to see if this water bottle would trigger something from right before you were taken, this was the water bottle you had introduced to the group. 

A picture was unfolding in your head, it was a big room with people all around. There was a couch that some were sitting on while one stood in front of them, the one standing was smiling. The people on the couch were leaned in to listen, some held their chin in their hand as they too, were also smiling. The little bottle of water you were holding was also in this picture, the one standing seemed to be presenting it like a game show host, showing it off as if it was new. The picture began to move and the people standing took a seat next to another person, they cuddled close and began whispering to each other with iggles in between. A pen made its way across the couch and ended up at the two who looked like a couple, one wrote a heart next to their name while the other did it normally. 

Your eyes shot open at the sound of the pop, you were squeezing the bottle so hard it exploded. Your eyes frantically searched around and when they landed on the other set of eyes in the room you lunged for a hug. 

“Bucky!” you screamed, “thank you!” You wrapped your arms around him so tight. Bucky hesitated before clinging to you like a life source, “I thought it would’ve taken you longer,” you sighed into his touch. 

“We left you there for too long,” Bucky whispered, his face his deep in your neck.

You pulled away with tears in your eyes, you looked to him but he kept looking down, “is there something on my nose?” you asked, Bucky was looking between your eyes and nose. Your finger went to touch but pulled away at the feeling of something dangling, “what is that?” you screamed and felt it again. 

“It’s the injection side effect, I think.” Bucky added he felt around your face to try and see if you were actually real or if this was some sick joke Wanda was playing on him. 

“What injection? They just took my blood once so far,” you shrugged and felt the back on your head, “there was a scab there before, it hurts like crazy, like a pulsing thing.'' You brought your other hand back to try and find that scab you felt what seemed like hours ago. Your hair felt dirtier than the last time you remembered, it was one big clump when you moved it.

“Sit down.” Bucky said, you moved back on the seat without a second thought.

With wide eyes you looked up to Bucky, “I didn’t want to sit...Bucky what did you do?” you asked, it looked like you were glued there as you tried to get off. 

“What day is it?” Bucky asked cautiously, his hands coming back to cup your face. 

“September twenty third, I didn’t hit my head it’s not a con-”

“It's October third.” Bucky breathed out, “oh my god…” he whispered and pulled you into another hug, he gently rubbed your back as you stayed rigid in his hold. 

The plane began to drop and Bucky knew it was just landing but with everything rushing against you like a title wave it felt like the plane was crashing. Bucky held you tight as you slashed around in his grip, pleads to any higher power you could think of to keep you alive didn’t seem to work. The plane froze and you stayed gripped to Bucky, he brought you out of the medical room. The three others just looked at you, not wanting to get their hopes up. But when you ran over to them and asked what day it was they seemed to be more disappointed, they just pulled you in for a hug and tried to calm you down like Bucky did. 

All at once medical staff open the jet doors, people rushing to you and you. Bucky was trying to cut through the crowd to get to you but medical staff were getting in the way and holding him back, he could see your frantic search for him. 

“You’re gonna trigger her, s-stop, this isn’t-”

A medical staff member flew back and knocked a few others over, everyone began to calm down and slow their moments. You were right over the person you pushed trying to help them up, apologizing profusely, they kept moving back and away from you. 

“Y-you were holding a needle, I’m sorry.” you eased. 

“Sedate her!” another yelled. 

You ran down and out of the jet to try and get away from the many needles that, what seemed like, every medical member was holding. There was just noise surrounding you, vision began to tunnel right when the pounding in your ears began, at the back of your head there seemed to be a knife stabbing you. 

“Get a gurney!” the voice cut through the shouts and chasing. 

Everything stopped and you froze from your worried state to complete your mission, someone ordered you to find a gurney, you must complete it. There was one waiting outside, you walked over with your back straight and your chin up. There was no need to look behind you shoulder but you did so anyway to make sure no threats were also in need of the gurney, everyone behind you was just still and watched you. This must be a test, after that realization you did everything quickly and efficiently to avoid punishment. 

When you brought the gurney to the voice who shouted it they told you to get on as well, Bucky was by your side and offering an arm to help get on but you didn’t take it. People were shouting orders to one another and you kept trying to get up to fulfill the command but Bucky kept holding you down. Some medical staff were trying to shove him away but he stood his ground and kept a hand holding you.

“Why do I keep wanting to do all these things?” you frantically aske as you tried to stand again.

“I’ll explain later, don’t worry,” he squeezed your hand as you made it into your exam room. Hands felt all around you, the lab coat was long forgotten so you sat on the table naked. Bucky was right against the wall and kept an eye on you, though your brain was next to scrambled eggs he could still read you like a book.

“We need to take some blood, might also need to give something to sedate her.” it was, what looked like, the head of this team that spoke.

Another picture flashed before your eyes. The needles and this blue liquid that went into you. Bucky had told you something called ‘ice’ but you didn’t know what that meant. Blood would be taken from you then without you looking, they would stick whatever serum Bucky was talking about in your arm. Voices and sounds rushed into your head as these pictures moved and changed to show that you weren’t there for as long as you thought you were, in your mind a different doctor repeated the same motions over and over and over again. You were covered in water and somebody was talking over you from inside of the cell, their voice seemed as though they too were underwater so you couldn’t quite make out what they were saying, but one part stood out. They were saying how they did this all without you noticing, how you were too confident, how you were strong and yet you’d look away from the needles when they were stuck into your arm. 

All of these people who you failed to remember that were surrounding you now, all had needles and some had already taken your blood, but you were going to be cautious now, you were going to be aware because you didn’t want to forget everything again. Before anyone could stick anything else in you, your arms flew out to the side and gripped as many syringes as you could, they were smashed to the ground and the clear liquid spilled and dripped on the floor. People were beginning to hold you down but you broke free from their dead grass pushing away the velcro straps that were about to go around your ankles and wrists.

Someone managed to get a strap on your left ankle without you noticing, that sensation of being cuffed made another picture float in your mind. It was a large metal contraption with silver Cuban links and five cuffs, two around your wrists, two around your ankles, and the final one went around your neck. Once they were all attached to you, you were suspended in the air as your entire body weight was being held up by your limbs and neck, even though only one bound was attached to you now, you could still feel the weight of all of it crashing back onto you. 

With one large tug the Velcro cuff snapped, you tried to get up and off the table to run to Bucky, he was the only one left in the room that you knew and trusted. He was also trying to make his way to you simultaneously, reading the fear etched deep into your eyes. No medical staff was trying to hold him back so he ripped through all of them and got to you quickly, you couldn’t really hear what he was saying because the pounding in your head that was pinpointed right at the back of your neck was starting to pound into your ears. But you could make out his lips that were moving, you can remember faintly kissing them, the feeling was on the tip of your tongue but you couldn’t quite make out what it really felt like. He was telling you it was going to be okay, at one point he said that you could sleep now and that he’d be there when you wake up, you really didn’t want to trust him but you were so tired and your head hurt so bad.

You didn’t even see or feel the syringe plunge deep into the crook of your neck as he held your face and made your eyes look right into his.

Winter Makes Ice tag list: @small-death-and-codeine​ @commonintrest​ @buckyys-doll​  @lil-baby-nor 

let me know if you want a tag!!!

[tokoyamisstuff]

Scandal Ch. 1 - Loki x Reader

Summary: After your child is born a Frost Giant, your husband accuses you of infidelitiy, unaware about his own heritage...

Warnings: Pregnancy, Childbirth, Angst, Mild Cussing

Noteable: Takes place before Thor 1, Asgardian Fem! Reader

Words: ~1800

I Story Masterlist I General Masterlist I

It was as if your anchestors wanted to deliver a warning, for Asgard had never faced a storm matching this fateful afternoon.

The thunder swallowed all of your screams and cries, every curse you spoke with each contraction as the baby made it’s way into this world. All this time, your precious husband would never leave your side, letting you squeeze his hand as much as you needed.

“Only a little bit more, my Lady!” the midwife shoutet from between your legs, her tone calm yet cheerful. “I can already see the head!”

“I’m right here. You’re doing wonderful, my petal.” Loki was softly petting your hair, pressing a wet kiss into your forehead. “You are incredibly strong, Y/N. And I love you so much!”

Remaining collected was using up all of his energy at that very moment, you knew that much. Yet not even the God of Lies could hide all the helplessness and excitement stirring in his head at that very moment.

Being with the Prince of Asgard was just like in a dream.

Once you get to know him, that troublesome arrogant lone wolf turned into a smart, caring - and especially charming - prince. And hel, Loki treated you like a Queen.

All this pain you were experiencing right now would ultimately lead to the greatest bliss imagineable - just like it was with Loki.

Oh, how dearly you had fought, suffered, yearned for him, only to be rewarded with heartbreak and frustration. In between his feverishly chase for the throne and his rivalry with Thor, there was just no room for a loving relationship to grow.

The crushing weight of thinking himself unworthy for affection had made him cold and bitter over the millenias, telling himself the comforting lie that he was above all, born for a glorious purpose.

For the God of Mischief, whose kinsmen had always made him feel out of place or under-appreciated, the process of trusting had always been one step forward, three steps back.

But through your compassion, and with a great deal of patience and understanding, you slowly but steadily melted the ice around the prince’s heart.

Because deep inside, you always knew that it was worth it.

And today would be the peak of your romance: Your child would forever remind the Odinson that he belonged somewhere - right here, with you.

“It’s a boy!”

“A heir?!” Loki exclaimed, smothering your face in kisses. “Well done!”

You smiled weakly at his excitement, in between choked sobs. All that your exhausted self was able to process was the fact that your child is born - and you already loved him beyond reason.

“Where is he?!” you whimpered, unable to realize how the air in the room had shifted - for when the midwife touched the infant, she began to scream in agony.

“What’s wrong?!” Loki’s eyes were narrowing at the midwife that almost dropped his newborn, detecting some sort of burn wound on her palm. Quickly, she had covered the boy in a towel, aware that if any harm came over that baby, she was to die at the God of Mischief’s hands.

A flash of lightning was brightening the whole room, which had only been flooded by dim candle light until now.

Another one of the midwife’s screeched in terror, almost stumbling as she frantically erscaped your bedchamber. The adrenaline from birth and worry about your child sharpened your senses, yet concentration was almost impossible.

Still, the words she was yelling as she ran down the hall send a shiver down your spine:

“It’s a monster.”

Your head was spinning as you rushed into an upright position, with two nurses pressing you onto the bed again. “Milady, you need to rest! It’s still too early!”

“What is wrong with my child?!?” you desperately screamed, kicking with your legs to free yourself from their hold. “Give it to me!”

Their expressions were too much to bear. Your head was spinning, seeing pity mixing up with disgust and anger in their eyes.

“Enough!” Loki finally broke his own silence, his mind having been occupied with all the horror scenarios one could think about.

Walking up to the midwife carrying the infant, he demanded seeing it. “Your highness, don’t-” yet the midwife’s beg was for naught.

Yes, everything will be alright. Loki will take care of it, like he always does. After all, he’s your savior, your hero, the love of your life...

Gently and insecure, your husband cradled the newborn in his arms - a sight to behold. And the baby’s strong cries assured you that it was at least alive.

However, as soon as he dared to unwrap the towel, revealing it’s face, Loki’s heartbeat completely stopped for a second. His trembling lip began to shake, mouth widely agape as he took in the child’s form.

For a brief moment, his mind was completely blank. All emotion dropped from his face before taking in a complete different demeanour.

“Wha-” you wouldn’t dare ending that sentence when your husband’s furious eyes met yours.

The air was so thick, you thought not even Thor’s hammer could break it. Clearly ritten on Loki’s usual unreadable face were so many emotions at once:

Aversion, fury, incredible sorrow...all directed towards you? The child?

Impossible.

Loki Odinson loved you more than anything in this world, this was the only thing you had always been sure he wasn’t lying about.

“From all the people I expected to betray me...” His voice was hoarse, as if the ache in his heart was wrapping around his throat. “Why did it have to be you?”

You could feel the horrendous aura, a wave of sadness and despair coming from your husband. Seeing him like this was like torture.

“What- what do you mean, darling-”

“Don’t fucking call me that, you harlot!” That was surely not the first time your lover had raised your voice against you - he could be a bit difficult at times, obviously.

But this time was different somehow. It sounded so...ultimate.

And the Loki you knew would never use such harsh words against you!

“Please, I beg of you...just let me see my baby!” Everything was just too much for you, almost to the point of passing out. 

And the man did as you pleaded, almost shoving the child into your arms. “There, have your bastard! And make sure to never show your filthy faces to me ever again!”

With that, he stormed out of the room, leaving you with those strange nurses looking at you like you’ve just commited an unforgiveable crime.

There was no use in overthinking this. He’ll come back like he always did. You can work this out, whatever it is - even if you are gonna be mad for a very long time, making such a fuss and then disappearing instead of taking care of you, the mother of his child.

Out of a whim, you decided to finally observe the little being you’ve been waiting for all those months.

A loud gasp escaped your mouth as you realized just why everyone was so worked up about that little boy. Yet the sound you made was solely surprised - not a hint of fear or rejection laced your voice.

It was a beautiful baby boy, little fists balled to the air as if he was searching for the warmth of his parents - though his skin was in the shade of a dark blue. When you dared running your hand over the deep lines and ridges on his body, the stinging pain of frostbite immediately stung your fingertips. His eyes snapped open, looking at you with black irises through red scleras.

You knew the meaning of this, even though you didn’t understand how this was possible: This child was a biological Frost Giant. A small one, but nonetheless.

A curse? Was someone trying to play your family dirty? No. If that was the case, the child wouldn’t also have actual powers together with the appearance.

Just how long have those tears been running down your cheeks in thick streams already? You wouldn’t know.

Only one thing came as clear as daylight to you: You loved this baby, more than anything in this world. And no matter the hardships that came along with it - you would protect him, no matter what!

“He’s magnificent...” you sniffled, pecking some quick kisses onto his small body before the cold could hurt you. “I love you so, so much...!”

Not minding the judging looks of the nurses, let alone wondering about the consequences, resolve was starting to give you new strenght.

The boy got a grasp on your finger, and instead of your skin freezing off as expected, your magic allowed him to the boy to finally disguise itself as one of you. How was this even possible? Well, this is probably the first time something like this ever happened, so no one could prepare you for what to expect with this child.

They all say that birth was an impactful event - but nothing could’ve prepared you for everything that you had to endure on this day.

Yet nothing could’ve stopped you from believing that this child was the greatest blessing that ever came over you.

Now you only had to convince your husband of that very fact...

“Y/N Y/L/N!” the guard wouldn’t even bother adressing you with your full title as his harsh voice woke you up. When had you drifted away into slumber anyway? You were probably way more worn out than you wanted to admit...

Your eyes immediately snapped open, heart skipping a beat until you saw that your son was still sleeping soundly right next to you. Stroking his cheek as he smiled up to you, it almost made you forget about that burdensome situation.

“Hey!” Protectingly, you were holding onto your child for dear life as the guard approached both of you. “I have an important message to deliver!”

You scowled, almost like an animal mother protecting their offsprings with baring teeth, even though you knew in that state you would be completely and utterly helpless. “Why now? What could be more important than the well-being of my child?”

The answer let your blood run cold:

“I am here to announce that Lady Y/N Y/L/N has to face a trial in front of the Allfather. The following crimes she is being accused of: Infidelity, collaboration with the enemy and trying to sneak one of them into our glorious kingdom.”

[sirthisisa-wendys]

hi. can i request something angsty i absolutely love your angst works! so being in a long term relationship with mr ran haitani that's kind of already having fallouts. then reader cheated and confesses to ran about it but he still kind of didn't expect reader would do something like that. thank you very much! pls ignore if you want <3

This hurt to write. But it hurt so damn good.

King of Sorrow: Ran Haitani x Fem!Reader

wc: 1.6k

tw: A N G S T

masterlist

song recommendation:

Things had been going downhill for a while.

Ran noticed the way you stayed out late, the way you no longer cuddled him in bed at night, the way your eyes wandered when you two were at the club...

But he never says anything.

You two had been together since he had become part of Bonten - and that was five years ago. FIve years of bliss, love, and happiness.

But that all started to fall apart last month.

He can't recall what he did - if anything. Ran tried his best to show you that he loved you, even when he was away. But lately, it'd been met with a half-hearted "thanks" or "I love you, too". Ran knew you weren't saying it because it was inherently true. You were saying it because you felt obligated to.

But he didn't feel obligated.

No, he's convinced he loves you, even if you're falling out of love with him. It's a hard thought for him to grasp, but he does somehow - that you might just have fallen out of love with him.

So he ups his gestures of love in an attempt to stave off the routine. This week, he's taken you on a trip to Italy. No meetings, no calls, nothing that has to do with work. It's just you and him on a cruise ship, sailing from port to port.

"This is amazing," he beams, cutting into the steak with gusto. "I've never had steak like this before."

"It's Wagyu," you mention, looking more somber in the dim lighting of the restaurant than when you both entered. Come to think of it, the moment you stepped onto the boat, you seemed downcast, even more so than when you were at home. You couldn't even look Ran in the eye anymore, and even though he'd made love to you the previous night, it seemed like that didn't have any effect on how you felt today. Usually, you'd be excited and full of life, but...

"Babe," Ran whispers, putting his fork down. "What's wrong?" Your bottom lip quivers and Ran stiffens. No, he thinks. Don't cry. But he also wants to get to the bottom of things, so he continues cautiously. "Things have been really strange for some time now, and I brought you here so maybe we could fix whatever's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong," you lie, wiping your eyes quickly. "Everything's fine."

"No," Ran tuts. "It's not. My love, you've been distant. I'm worried about us." He reaches across the table and touches your hand, and gesture he hasn't tried in a long time. "I'm worried about you." You snatch your hand away, standing and throwing your napkin over your barely touched food.

"It's fine, Ran," you snap, then walk away from the table quickly, rubbing at your eyes furiously as you leave the ship's dining room. Ran sighs, motioning for the waiter as he cuts his losses with the dinner.

"Just send the bill to the room, please."

Ran finds you in your shared suite, sitting in the chair facing the balcony with your head in your hands. You're sobbing, and for a moment, he replays the interaction between the two of you before approaching, holding your purse in one hand.

"Love," he begins, kneeling beside the chair and placing your purse in the other seat beside him. "I need you to talk to me."

"I just..." you start but break off, tears flowing down your fingers. "It's not your fault." You reveal your reddened face, eyes rimmed with smeared mascara. "I didn't mean to..."

"Whatever it is, it's fine," Ran whispers, taking your wet hands in his. "It'll be okay. Just tell me what's wrong." His heart is aching to know why you're so heartbroken, but you inhale shakily, then exhale before opening your eyes.

"Ran, I want to start off by apologizing." Ran shakes his head, his violet eyes unsure, but you stop him, squeezing his hands once. "Just listen to me all the way through, okay?"

"Done," he affirms, shoulders relaxing now that you're finally telling him what's wrong.

"A month ago... I went to Takada's bachelorette party, right?"

"Mmm-hmm." He remembers that night. You looked so stunning in your tight mini-dress and pinned-up hair. He thought about railing you over the side of the banister before you left and was a little disappointed that you came home around eight in the morning instead of that same night.

"I..." You shakily inhale again, shaking your head rapidly. "I got so drunk. I don't know what was wrong with me, I..." You sniff, then remove your hands from Ran's, wiping at a stray tear. "I ended up sleeping with someone. I don't know who they are, I don't know where they came from. But I just remember waking up in the bed, naked, and seeing him there."

Ran stares at you, face empty, still not fully processing what you've said. He is still for a while as the cogs in his mind turn around and around and around and around and around and then

stop.

His mouth dries up, and his violet eyes look away from you, at the wallpaper, at the mirror, at the corner of the room, at the ceiling.

"I've felt so guilty since then," you mumble. "I couldn't tell you because I felt so ashamed, I--"

Ran stands, letting out a soft "oh", wavering a little on his feet. He blinks a few times, still not looking at you, then cocks his head to the left, like he's hearing something. But he's just processing. His mind flits from one day to the next, trying to pinpoint any signs, any clues... How could he have been so stupid?

No, you couldn't have cheated. It was a mistake. You'd gotten undressed, the man was drunk and also fell asleep in your bed... No, you couldn't do that. Not to him. Not to Ran Haitani.

But your guilt is written all over your face.

"Oh," Ran mutters again, jaw clenching. His breaths come quick like he'd been running for hours, and he can barely think as he sees red cloud his vision. He can't understand what he's doing when he breaks the table in the conjoined living room, or swipes the vases onto the floor, shattering them and depositing the flowers among them. He can't think about anything as you shout for him to stop, trying to reach him past his haze of red, but he's too far gone.

And the thing that frightens you the most is that he isn't yelling or screaming.

He's quiet.

He's not cursing at you, he's just destroying anything that looks whole, tossing it to the ground and rendering it unusable. You slide down against the wall, tears coursing down your cheeks again as he huffs, standing in the middle of the wreckage, gasping for air.

And then, the clearest thought Ran's had in almost an hour comes to him.

"Let me get you your own room."

"Ran," you plead, stumbling over your feet to get to him as he marches over to the phone. "Ran, please."

"Hello? I need a new suite for Mrs. Haitani. Do you have one available?"

"Ran!" you beg, pulling at his sleeve, but he doesn't move from the phone, gripping the receiver as the person on the other line tries to find an open room for you. You try to reach the button that will hang up the call, reaching past Ran's frame in earnest. He's blocking it, but there's just enough room for your pointer finger to tap the button, ending the call.

Ran doesn't even move. The phone is still up to his ear as if the call is still going on, but no voice is on the other line.

Fat tears roll down from his eyes, and he's frozen there, standing with the phone in his hands as if he were paused in time. But he lets the phone slip from his grasp, walking like a zombie over to the chair by the balcony, and sliding into it slowly.

And he doesn't get up, staring out at the sea with an empty, forlorn look.

"Ran," you whisper, crouching next to him. He doesn't answer, tears running freely down his face. "Ran..." Again, there's no answer, so you hang your head next to his leg, touching his thigh with your right hand. He doesn't move, even when you get up to prepare for bed, the door leading to the carnage of his temper still open.

He doesn't move from that chair all night, and you don't sleep, staring at him as his tears dry. You even succumb to sleep for a brief moment, waking to see him still in that same chair, still trying to think.

But eventually, he moves, walking into the bathroom and staying in there for a while. You wait patiently for him, sitting on the edge of the bed as he emerges, wiping his face with a towel before he inhales sharply.

"As soon as they dock this ship at the next port, we're heading home. Couples counseling or a divorce, it's your choice." You look down at your hands, nodding. You understand the need to cut the trip short. It's for the best.

When you arrive back home two days later, Ran immediately grabs a new bag of things, loading it up with clothing and toiletries, choosing to take residence at Rindou's home instead of sleeping in the same bed as you.

And that hurt the worst, his cold violet eyes not even glancing over at you as he left the master bedroom without any words.

[jossambird]

The Scent on your coat P4

Summary: You reflect on your life choices, and despite your wants, Life had other plans for you.

Otto Octavius x F!Reader

Words: 2k

Warnings: NS/FW Subjects, No Doc in this Chapter (or is there) but building to the next part, mentions of emotional Reader, heartbreak, yearning for things you can’t have.

Ao3 Fic Link for previous parts, or on my masterlist!

-

“I've only ever wanted you.” You repeated into the silence of your apartment, barely listening to the news that played on tv. Images of various villains flittered on the screen, your eyes falling on the one face you couldn’t stop seeing behind your eyelids. You shut the tv off with a huff, eyes watering at the whole mess.

Hands slinging your blanket over your back, you bundled yourself up and sat in bed, pulling your other blanket over your legs and feet. You couldn’t even begin to find the correct words for just how much you had missed Otto.

Even after all this time, Otto remained as handsome as he had been the last time you had seen him all those dreadful months ago. His soft brown hair that shined red in the sunlight, his gorgeous brown eyes that used to always seek you out in a crowd.

You sighed, replaying his words in your mind. Did he mean everything he had said? He had never been a liar, that you knew…

For weeks after his accident, you had thought him dead. For months, you had listened to the radio and new outlets, slandering his work and very career once he had emerged, tentacles and all, turning to a life of crime.

How long had you mourned him, mourned the fragile friendship you had had together, mourned his work but most importantly, mourned your love for him? It had taken weeks, months even, to finally be able to step back into this laboratory and work, and not be pitied by every living soul here.

They had all known of your deep and dark secret, the love you had held so dear for the Scientist, but stayed silent.. all except for one.

Peter Parker. Sweet Peter Parker, always there for you no matter, always asking if you needed help or a shoulder to cry on, always asking how you were holding up with everything.

It had been Peter, of all people, who had saved you from the endless internal darkness that had started to consume you slowly but surely, depression sinking its claws into you and pushing you towards dangerous thoughts.

He, who had asked you if you wanted to go see a movie together. He, who had walked you home every night afterwards, only ever smiling and offering his arm whilst you tried to say it was okay.

He, who had tentatively asked you if you wanted to be his girlfriend that one summer night after a quiet walk, knowing full well how your heart held a part of itself for another.

It was he, who had kissed your lips, reassuring you that he understood what it felt like, having already lost the love of his life too.

And so, telling yourself that maybe this was what you needed to finally forget Octavius, you had given him a chance; slowly taking your time together and learning about one another, becoming closer and closer by the passing day.

Peter’s secret identity hadn't been kept from you long after you noticed Spiderman arriving at your Oscorp to walk you home, just like Peter did. He had practically fallen off a building when you asked out loud if he was done stalking you like a creep, his laugh echoing softly in the noisy New York streets.

“Aren’t you afraid a villain will come and kidnap me Pe- Spiderman?” You had asked him, grinning even though your heart clenched at the idea of *one* villain kidnapping you. Thoughts like those were burned and shooed away, trying to focus on the good and kind man that loved you.

“Don’t worry, Ill always protect you Y/N.” He assured you with a whisper, bowing his head as you stepped inside your shared apartment complex.

You had come to love him too, in a way, over time.

Your first time together was the moment you realized your heart was irreparable; Peter’s hands were on your hips, holding you softly as he fucked you but in that moment, another man’s name found itself on your lips, a name all too familiar to you, trying to make its way out and into the air between you. You hadn’t let it, swallowing both it and your shame down, sorrow coursing through you as Peter called out your name.

A few days later, on an early September day, as you turned away from the amazing view from your apartment window, the wind blowing your hair from your face, you had felt it; Nervous energy in the air, shudders wracking your body.

Peter Parker asked you to marry him on the same balcony moments after.

No amount of preparation would have ever prepared you for the absolute heartbreak you had felt as the man before you wore bruises shaped like claws, deep cuts and barely fading scars, crooked grin smiling up at you with a ring in hand, waiting.

“I know I’m not him, and you aren’t her, but I'd like to love you for the rest of my life.”

You had sobbed under the loud noise of the shower until the water turned cold, and after.

Though now, sitting here alone in your living room, you wondered why life sought to hurt you so.

Soon you would be married to a sweet man who loved you, adored you, and all fantasies of the tall Doctor Octavius would have to be forgotten and erased.

You sighed again, burying your face into your blanketed hands, trying to will yourself to stop feeling this way. Peter deserved someone who loved him with all their heart, not someone who craved another and had let said man eat them out in their previous work place.

A knock sounded at your front door and you frowned, standing, wrapped in your blankets still, to answer.

Would it be possible… that he would come? Would he knock on the door, or simply open it, hands seeking you out and untying your robe, touching what he had already accidentally claimed?

As you turned the handle and opened the door, your inner shame grew, eyes landing on the smiling face of your best friend Allie.

“Thought Id come see how the bride-to-be was feeling! How- Oh my god Y/N what's wrong?” Allie said in a rush as she saw tears form in your beautiful eyes, stepping inside in a hurry to comfort you. You could barely let out a sob, let alone words, arms wrapping around the woman.

“Y/N, babydoll, what's going on? You can talk to me, you know that right? Nothing leaves this room, only between you and me.” Your best friend whispered, holding you tightly.

She pulled away, arms still wrapped around you but just enough to see your face, and you knew she had figured it out, knew she had pieced it together. “Oh, Y/N… It’ll be okay, it’ll go away.”

What Allie failed to know though, was that you didn’t want it to go away, still feeling his soft but firm fingers holding your thighs and ankles, kisses laid against your skin.

You didn’t want your love for Otto Octavius to disappear, just like the words of love and adoration groaned along your thighs and core, expressive brown eyes seeking yours out in desperation. Desperate for what, you still didn’t know, but it made your heart race, thinking that the renowned Doctor Octavius and villain Doctor Octopus wanted to see you reach ecstasy by his hand and his alone, desperate for only his name to find itself on your tongue.

And you felt even more horrible for it.

*

Allie held you close, blankets wrapped around the both of you as she flicked through channels on TV.

“Want to talk about it?” She whispered, eyes still trailed on the TV but you knew her attention was solely on you.

What was there to say in a situation like this?

“No.” You croaked out, snuggling closer against her in an effort to forget everything, forget the outside world, forget the fact that the very man you wanted most of all was also somewhere out there. You weren’t surprised when Allie sighed, the sound of the TV shutting off. She laid down beside you, worried eyes gazing back at you.

“You know, it's not…” Allie paused, breath caught in her throat at the sight of you.

“It's not abnormal for marriages to be cancelled.” She continued, her eyes flickering over your face for a sign that you were understanding her meaning. You could barely breathe as she waited, the implication of her words sounding out.

“Allie thats- Peter, he-“ you tried, heart breaking at the idea of telling Peter you could no longer marry him. Allie, the beautiful thing she was, faked a gag and rose up, sitting beside you.

“Y/N, forget Pete for the moment okay? He doesn’t exist right here, right now.” She started, turning back towards your surprised visage with a finger pointed at you.

“I will always be here for you. I know you aren’t happy… I just want you to know that it’s never too late to cancel anything.”

You cried that night, silently into your pillow, never acknowledging the words she had spoken. Allie remained with you for the next few days, never uttering another word of the subject she had begun, helping you instead prepare for your wedding.

That night, you dreamt of large hands pulling you close and whispers of love pressed against your breast, heartbeat steady as he asked the one thing you could never lie about:

“Do you love me, Y/N? Me, and only me?” He whispered, lips moving against your collarbone, heated kisses following his words.

“I've only ever loved you.” You whispered back and watched the Otto before you smile, his hold turning bruising.

*

New York, even at night, was never silent. Noises could be heard everywhere and anywhere, people out and about, some heading home and some heading out.

Allie liked the hustle and bustle of the town, always eager to find a new Hole-in-the-wall type of bar or restaurant to get drunk in, and tonight, after saying she wanted to make you feel better with sushi, hadn’t been any different. She hummed under her breath and dutifully followed you back to your apartment, the both of you enjoying each other’s presence.

Convenience store bags in hand, you looked back at Allie as she wobbled, her steps mismatched, a half empty beer can in hand.

“Come on Al, we're almost there!” You laughed, watching her try to Hopscotch along the street. She stopped, eyes wide and smile even wider, throwing the beer can into the air and away from the both of you, making you cringe as it hit the ground.

“Oh my god- Was that a laugh!?” She yelled happily, the smell of beer and sake wafting off of her as she ran up beside you and held you close, arms trapped in her hold. You couldn’t help but smile at your best friend, mouth opening to chastise her for littering but you didn’t have the time; a faint melody met both your ears and Allie beamed, disentangling herself from you. You barely had time to register what song it was before she leaned away, breathing in sharply and letting loose.

“You should have bought her flowers!” She sang out, words echoing in the streets around you. Sang was perhaps too kind of a word though, as she scratchily belted out Bruno Mars lyrics.

“Shh! Oh my god Allie, shhhhhhh! Shut up!” You tried, running after her as she continued back to your apartment complex, uncaring of the people passing you by.

“You should’ve held her hand! Should’ve given her all your hours!” You barely made it in time to her, free hand rising to try and quiet her, heart racing as you imagined someone hearing-

“But now she’s marrying another man!”

Her words felt like a bath of freezing cold water, any remnants of alcohol in your system instantly evaporating.

She was right. You were, and no matter what fantasies and dreams you liked to imagine, you knew that life couldn’t continue like this, childishly hoping and wishing for another man to come sweep you up.

[darkandstormyart]

Xicheng fic recs

(figured i might make a list of my own)

(to be expanded as i dig out more treasure/remember stuff)

in no particular order:

Deep as the Yearning Night by FreckledStarKnight

“At first, it was pure chance. The second time was accidental. And the third time? Well, they say the third time’s the charm, after all. Lan Xichen discovers that Jiang Wanyin sings beautifully and is immediately enamored by it. His pursuit of Jiang Wanyin’s secret talent leads to a discovery and a series of events that he did not anticipate at all. Not that he’s complaining, of course. He got what he came for and more. Or, how two sect leaders get together through the song called love. CQL-verse.“

post-seclusion lxc

trying to get jc to sing

bonus lxc & jin ling feels i hadn’t considered before

cute

Always use protection by hesselives

“In which Lan Wangji attempts to hire a new bodyguard for his older brother, a well-known traveling exorcist. Jiang Wanyin doesn’t even make his carefully considered list of Top Ten Candidates, and yet here he is.

Lots of wandering in the countryside, distant yelling, and mildly inconvenient spirits.”

bodyguard au

honestly just really intersting worldbuilding

Rewrite the stars by Arashii

“Five great kingdoms have been fighting for years and when the kingdom of Yunmeng is destroyed, the Crown Prince Jiang Cheng vanishes.In Gusu, Lan Xichen makes an offer impossible for Jiang Cheng to refuse. His life or revenge? There’s only one option and Jiang Cheng swears loyalty to the man he hated the most his whole life, the Crown Prince of Gusu, Lan Xichen himself.Written for XiChengFest2020 - Day 4“

ROYALTY AU ROYALTY AU

enemies to lovers!

flashbacks! i love flashbacks so much ohmygod

No paths are bound by Arashii

“In seclusion, Lan Huan has the support of a ghost no one has seen since the massacre of Yunmeng Jiang. His feelings start changing with the often visits and conversations they share. Before Lan Huan can confess though, he ascends, leaving everything and everyone behind him.

Two hundred years later, back to the Human Realm and without powers, the Martial God Zewu-Jun has a mission to uphold. His Heavenly Calamity started. The clues are little and the support comes in the most unexpected form, the current Ghost King: Sandu Shengshou. Now they need to stick together to contain a menace that is slowly growing.“

TGCF AU TGCF AU

ghost king jiang cheng come on

doesn’t follow tgcf plot, just the setup so no spoilers

jiang cheng gets the dogs and the xichen he deserves

once upon a dream by cafedeolla

“Xicheng soulmate AU

An au where your dreams are small snippets of your soulmate’s day. They’d show small things like buying coffee, reading a book, or hanging out with people from their perspective.

The problem was that people always have expectations and Jiang Cheng knows he always falls short of them. Time and time again.“

soulmate au, but being soulmates is more a problem than a solution

misunderstandingssss all over the place

now with a squel (in progress?)

Lan Furen series by jagaimocchi

“Jiang Cheng leaves Lotus Pier before the Wen Internment Camp and before the destruction of his home. When he meets Lan Xichen on the run from the Wens after the burning of Cloud Recesses, his plan to live a peaceful life away from cultivation sects is quickly derailed. Now, free to make his own choices, he cannot find it in himself to leave the other man's side.

With love, patience and time, Jiang Cheng finds his own happiness and peace with his past.“

have you ever wanted a fic where jiang cheng peaces out from home in search for a better life, bc he’s Had Enough??? jags got you covered

adorable xicheng

good uncle-dad-figure Lan Qiren

ongoing <3

Just around the riverbend by JungleJelly

“One day.

Jiang Cheng just wanted one day of peace and quiet, away from home, away from his responsibilities, away from his idiot brother and his nutcases of a mother and father. Just a few hours alone — him and a boat and nothing else.

Clearly, that was too much to ask for.”

now with a new story in the series which is adorable too!!!

mermaid!lxc need i say more?

Bad ideas (where they lead) by JungleJelly

“Jiang Cheng is a busy man. Fortunately, he is also a huge pushover when it comes to his sister, so when she recommends that he start doing yoga, he agrees pretty easily.Featuring Lan Xichen in yoga pants, Jiang Cheng’s inability to handle a crush, and, perhaps most importantly, a big fluffy dog.“

done for 2020 MXTX MiniBang

yoga instructor Lan Xichen

Jiang Cheng is: struggling with a crush on the yoga guy from youtube & very angry about that

If there’s a price for rotten judgement by TheWanderingHeart

“All Jiang Cheng wants to do is, well... his job, really. Other than that? Keep the city safe, keep his nephew alive, keep his sanity intact (if possible).

So when his brother calls with unexpected news, he knows all of that is about to fly out of the window.

***

[Every instinct is telling him don’t ask, you don’t want to know. By this point, Nie HuaiSang has scooted closer to listen. Jiang Cheng takes a steadying breath and pulls out his antacids. “What did you do?”]”

superhero au, come on

jc just trying to do his job in peace

(he can’t)

i love it so much oh my god *sobs*

The Form of Boneless Ice by TheWanderingHeart

“Mythical beasts have long ago been driven to extinction by the gentry — hunted for sport, but more importantly for their magical cores. Since then, there remains only one creature that has never been caught. The Jiang’s retreated a long time ago. Abandoning land altogether, they sought safety where the humans could not reach.It all comes to a head though, purely by chance. (Or is it by fate that a spontaneous decision allows for them to meet? If fate were a rock!) Jiang Cheng suddenly finds his whole life balanced on the head of a pin — on the flimsy promise of a human boy. In his opinion, things cannot possibly get worse!(But then they do when the Wens decide it’s finally time to search for the elusive merpeople, and suddenly nowhere is safe.)“

there she goes again, with another beautiful xicheng story full of awwww and mythology

actually one of the first xicheng fics i read

i chose it because there were mermaids

painfully accurate takes on Jiang family dynamics

kids! lots of kids!

Let me Slytherin to Your Heart by TheWanderingHeart

“Jiang Cheng never thought he'd return to Hogwarts, but in hindsight, he probably should have known that someday he would.With his nephew about to start school, he reluctantly takes his good friend's bad parenting? career? advice and ends up tumbling head-first back into the madness that he hoped he'd left behind... and rediscovering some feelings he thought he'd left behind too.“

Harry Potter au!

just really fecking cute

lots of snakes

[I am not going to link all of Jo’s fics, though I probably could, just my 3 favourites. UOSB is there by default]

Talent Hunt Crew Finds Angry Guy Shouting On College Campus, Recruits Him For Vocal Projection Abilities by oh_fudgecakes

“Jiang Cheng, resident Angry Guy and heir to a conglomerate empire, has never been the apple of his father’s eye. Quashed under the shadow of his brilliant brother, the music prodigy Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng sees his chance to turn things around when he is recruited by the All-Stars Lan Talent Hunt. One problem: he can’t sing to save his goddamn life.As he struggles to develop his nascent singing abilities, Jiang Cheng finds himself sucked into the whirlwind drama of reality TV, helped along by his adoring siblings, his irritable vocal coach Wen Qing, and strangely enough, the unfairly attractive host of the All-Stars Lan Talent Hunt, Lan Xichen. Somewhere in the glare of the stage lights and an unexpected first love, Jiang Cheng stumbles upon the thing he was searching for all along: the courage to dream — and to attempt the impossible.“

done for 2019 MXTX Big Bang

uuuuuuuuuuh i might have cried maybe

heartwarming? painful at times? lots of family love?

slowburn xicheng being lovely

The Provenence of Hope series by velithya

“A chance meeting on a night hunt sets a course of events into motion that will change everything. Featuring Xicheng getting together, recovery for Lan Xichen, healing for Jiang Cheng, and always, always, hope.“

got everything. feels. hope. love. ~~healing~~

A Small Measure of Peace by Sandstone112

“With his brother in seclusion, Lan Xichen finds himself in temporary custody of his nephew with little to no expertise in the child-raising department. Uncertain and alone, Zewu-Jun is willing to do everything to be the person Yuan needs—even if it means inviting Sandu Shengshou to a playdate.“

a loooot of adorable family times with jc and lxc taking care of their nephews

good grandpa lqr!

canon but fixed and less painful

🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋if you wish to avoid scurvy:🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋

Some day I’m gonna make you mine series by locketofyourhair

xicheng getting together through the years

friends with benefits but the real benefits are the friends we made along the way

Take me over (take me tonight) by velithya

jiang cheng has a tattoo and lan xichen doesn’t stand a chance

i'd be the sweet feeling of release (mankind now dreams of) by piyo13

two bros, chilling in a cave, no feet apart because they don’t want to lose their cultivation powers what are you gonna do

haven’t read yet and shame on me, but AM GONNA:

Upon Our Silver Bridge by TheWanderingHeart obviously

““When the path ignites a soul, there's no remaining in place. The foot touches ground, but not for long.” ― Hakim Sanai

**

Lan Xichen's sorrows have caught the attention of something. Unlike the adventures and foes they have faced before, there is no obvious enemy here to defeat. If this is the same thing they thought had taken Nie Mingjue's life, then he believes it is fated for him to die as well. Nothing can stop the black fire when it wants to burn.Jiang Cheng is sure his part in this is over. Wei Wuxian is back, his grand adventure concluded, and he'd never been at the centre of it anyway. So what does it matter what happens to him in the end? Slowly, he will come to realise that there will always be a battle to fight, a story to tell, a choice to make, and there is no such thing as an end to anything.“

it was difficult to do things in 2020 and few i regret not doing more than not reading uosb yet :’(

i will tho

Emergency Help Wanted by piyo13

“EMERGENCY HELP WANTED I lied when I got my job. I told them I had a kid so I could leave early from work to pick him up from daycare, take him to doctor's appointments, and occasionally miss a day when he's sick. Long story short, I'm in too deep. I didn't think it through. Looking to rent a kid for bring your child to work day. Must be a boy ages four to six, longish dark hair, likes soccer. Must also be artistic as the macaroni noodle paintings I made seem a little advanced for his age. Also, I will pay extra for someone willing to play the role of husband when dropping him off. He's a prosecuting attorney who often brings his work home. Message me for further details. Serious inquiries only.“

Running Our Hands Through Embers by MarvelousMar

“If asked, Jiang Cheng would compare falling in love with Lan Xichen to a moth inevitably drawn to a flame.It burned.***In which Jiang Cheng discovers that even death can't help him escape from his trauma, so he embarks on a quest to save the people he loves, fix what he can, make the love of his life fall for him, and maybe, somewhere along the way, do a little bit of healing.”

The Beginner’s Guide to Moving On by InvincibleMel

gone from ao3, but i think there’s a link with a pdf going around

[scarofthewind]

The Lone Wolf || Werewolf!Thomas x Reader

A/N: Part three out of four to the slasher boys AU, link down below! I hope you are all doing well and yes requests are open for those who would like to throw something in there! I was today years old when I realized that Thomas Hewitt has blue eyes.

Warnings: NSFW, R18+, blood, gore, biting, breeding kink, wet & messy, squirting

word count: 3.1k Tip Jar (every bit helps!)

Series Masterlist

“You should eat something now that way it’s easier during the shift.” You spoke calmly to your lover who was busy testing out the chain that lined the basement; the chains that would prevent him from hurting you. His warm eyes looked over to you and he nodded, laying the metal links on the ground and following you upstairs. You watched him eye the locks on the door, checking to make sure they were strong enough, “You’ve checked them four times since this morning.” He looked at you and sighed, you could tell he was nervous, he always was on nights with a full moon. 

“If I get out and hurt you-” He started but you shook your head and cupped his face. 

“We’ve done this a million times and nothings happened.” He leaned into your touch, a glint of worry in his deep brown eyes. “Who knows, wolf you may not even try to eat me if you happen to escape.” Patting his cheek lightly, you turned and walked to the kitchen to make something to eat. Thomas mumbled something to himself before checking to make sure he had everything ready for the night. His senses were heightened and it was hard for him to not jump clear across the room and take you against the counter; balling his hands into fists, he went outside to calm his nerves, also making sure he had the backup trap ready if he happened to get out. You watched him from the kitchen window with a sorrowful look in your eyes. Before he met you he didn’t need to do this because he didn’t care what happened to the people around him; but you were different. 

When you met, he was shifted, dark brown wavy fur and sapphire eyes staring at you intrigued by what it saw. You were a mortified lone hiker that just witnessed a group of people being torn apart by something inhuman. But there was something, some force of fate that drew you together. He never hurt you in wolf form that day and you doubted that he would ever, but you didn’t want to take the slight chance that he might. 

When you both sat down for the early dinner, it was quiet between the two of you. The nerves and impulses emitting off of him made you chew your food quietly across the table. You barely had time to put the dishes in the sink before he went to the basement and you followed knowing it was you who had to chain him down. Thomas hated making you do it but the chains being made of silver burned him a lot less if he wasn’t the one handling them. No words were spoken as he stripped out of his clothes, throwing them in a heap across the room, and sat down in the middle of the cold floor. 

“I hate this,” you said quietly, locking the chains around his feet, moving towards his hands. He cupped your face gently, giving you a knowing look. Continuing with his restraints, you cuffed his wrists and then put the last one around his neck. “This is animal abuse,” you joked and he quirked a lip at your comment, hiding a smug smile. 

Before he could open his mouth, he grimaced, grunting in pain as it ripped through him, something was off about this shift and it bothered him. Thomas quickly looked at you, “Go to the guest house.” 

You frowned, “Why? Is everything okay?” He wouldn’t look you in the eye as you asked and you bent down in front of him. His eyes were already that bright golden color you secretly loved. 

“Go, I’ll come get you in the morning. Make sure to hide your scent just inc-” He stuttered when a loud crack came from his back and he clawed at the ground in pain. “Go now!” He yelled and you jumped, pressing a quick kiss to his lips before running out of the basement. Thomas could hear you running around upstairs and then the front door slam shut as you left the house. Everything in him burned with a fire he didn’t recognize and it scared him. 

“This isn’t right,” he groaned as another spike of pain rushed through him and everything started to go black as the beast took over. He could only pray as he was closing his eyes that you would be safe.

Of course as you were in a rush to leave, you forgot to wear stuff that smelt like him. You didn’t realize your mistake until you reached the guest house, locking the door behind you and hiding in the bathroom. You could hear loud howls coming from the house and it made you shiver, knowing that he’d somehow gotten out. You tried to think of how he could’ve but the longer you thought it over the more confused you got. You’d locked every door and chained him up; the shift had happened quicker than before though and he had a look in his eyes that told you something wasn’t right. 

A howl echoed through the woods near the guest house and you held your breath, sinking down into the bathtub and turning the lights off. The sound of the front door crashing open had your heart racing in your chest. You could hear the scuffling of paws on the floor as they neared the bathroom, a sniffing sound coming from under the door followed by a low growl. Everything went quiet for a second before a large hole was scratched through the door and you scooted far away in the tub. You whimpered, hearing the beast growl, it’s eyes meeting yours from the other side of the door. That’s when your heart stopped and everything you thought you knew about what he was flew out the window. 

His eyes were blood red and glowing through the opening. The beasts mouth and snout were already covered in blood and the way it licked it’s lips you knew you were next. The window to the bathroom was already opened a smidge and before you could blink, your body moved on its own to get there. Your mind raced as you heard the door being ripped apart behind you, your feet pushing you to climb up onto the roof above you. You knew he wouldn’t fit through the window because of how big he was so you had an advantage getting up there. Just as you were about to climb fully onto the scratchy roof, a searing pain came from your leg and you tried your best to kick him off. 

Tears welled in your eyes and you pushed yourself up, getting your leg away from the beasts mouth and limping over to the chimney, sitting against it for a second to examine the wound. A sob escaped your lips as you looked at it, knowing damn well what it meant. You tried your best to stop the bleeding but the moment you put pressure on the wound you cried out in pain. You could hear him down below, tearing everything to shreds and growling loudly. You knew if you didn’t fix the wound soon you’d have more bad damage than good by morning but going down to face that monster was not something you wanted to do. 

A loud scratching came from the end of the roof behind you and you froze mortified that the creature was able to simply jump that high. There was a huff behind the chimney you were leaned against and a deep growl made the hair on your arms raise. “Thomas,” you cried, the wolf sniffing around the corner towards you. “Thomas please don’t,” you winced trying to move your leg towards you. “You’ll never forgive yourself,” you closed your eyes for a second, trying your best to calm yourself as the wolf came to stand in front of you. 

When you opened your eyes to look at the monster, you let out a sigh of relief seeing those sapphire eyes staring at you softly. There was a sense of guilt behind them and before you could open your mouth, your wounds were being treated to as the animals licked them carefully. “You didn’t recognize me,” you stated, realizing that was why it attacked. Maybe your scent wasn’t enough for the wolf to remember you; you were thankful your voice was what clicked for him. 

A soft sound of bones shifting made you look up to the man in front of you. Thomas’ eyes were wet as he faced the one thing he always feared; he’d hurt you. “I did this,” he frowned at his own words, examining your wounds and setting your leg down gently. His eyes met yours and you felt your heart ache. “I would’ve killed you, (Y/N),” he tried backing away but you grabbed him and used his sturdy body to pull yourself closer to him. 

“You didn’t realize it was me, Thomas. I’m fine,” You replied, cupping his face gently and watching his eyes flicker before settling with their natural color. 

“Don’t do that,” his voice broke, “Don’t act like this is okay, I bit you, you know damn well what that means.” He groaned, moving out of your grasp. 

“I do but I don’t care. Something was off about this shift, we both felt it but we couldn’t predict this would happen-”

“It wanted to kill you, even after smelling that it was you. What the fuck is wrong with me?” He grimaced, moving away from you. 

“Thomas stop,” you hissed when you tried to move, catching his attention for a second. “We’ll figure out what went wrong in the morning,” your heart ached when he shook his head, pulling at his roots. 

“I love you,” you cried, your heart breaking in your chest for him and the fear of him pushing you away, “Don’t force me out, I don’t know what to do without you,” Thomas whined at your words and seeing the tears fall from your eyes made him pull you against his chest, rubbing your head softly as he hugged you. “Don’t tell me to leave because I won’t.” You sniffled, gripping is shoulders tightly as he helped you stand. 

His chest rumbled with a growl at the thought of you leaving him, the possessiveness of the wolf inside him coming out. When he looked down at you and pressed his lips to yours, you could almost feel the grief inside him; you knew he’d blame himself until the end of time for hurting you. With ease, Thomas helped you back to the comfort of your home, making sure to take good care of your wound. He spent nearly an hour on it, being sure that it was clean and that it would heal nicely. When he was done wrapping it in gauze, he watched the way your eyes slowly closed, sleep starting to take over your mind. 

Shuffling you around on the couch, he laid with you pressed into his chest, not daring to turn again for the fear of his other half going rogue. 

He didn’t sleep.

***

You woke up around four in the morning, the small amount of light in the sky starting to brighten the living room. You could feel Thomas’ grip on you tighten when you moved your head up to look at him. His eyes were on yours in a second and he frowned, “Is it hurting?” He referred to your leg. Shaking your head you nuzzled his neck, breathing him in. 

“You didn’t shift again?” Your fingers danced across his bare skin, reminding yourself that he was nude. “You were stronger this time if you managed to break through all those chains and get past your traps outside,” you said quietly. 

“I didn’t recognize you, that’s not right, something had to have been off.” He replied; you could feel his heart ache. “I don’t know what to do,” he sighed, moving to sit up and rubbing his face with his hands. 

“Hey,” you sat up with him and cupped his face in your hands. “We have a month until the next turn, we will figure it out before then. Don’t worry about it,” his eyes stared into yours and he nodded, resting his forehead against yours. “Love you,” you said softly, watching his eyes crinkle as a small smile formed on his face. 

“Love you too.” Thomas pulled you closer and pressed a kiss to your lips, a familiar feeling buzzing through him at god-speed. If there was one thing you both enjoyed about his shift, it was the sex. It was hot, messy and always left you bedridden for a couple of days; the last time it got out of hand and the bed broke, much to your genuine shock. Before he could pull away, you wrapped your arms around his neck, moving to sit in his lap. Thomas’ hands went to your waist and he groaned at the feeling of you grinding down on his slowly hardening member. “You’re hurt,” he grunted against your mouth as he moved to lay you on your back, moving between your legs. 

“I’m fine, I need you, Thomas,” you moaned when his lips went to your neck, immediately finding your sensitive spot and sucking on it. Your hands ran through his dark, curly hair, tugging gently on the roots as his hips worked against yours. The feeling of his hardened member against your thigh made you shiver. You paused to sit up and rid yourself of your bottoms, eager to feel his cock deep inside you. You made sure to be careful around your leg, slipping your pants and underwear off and letting them fall to the floor. 

Thomas made quick work of your shirt and bra, leaving your breasts open for him to fondle. Your nipple hardened against his touch and he brought one into his mouth, lightly nipping at it. The feeling of your bare cunt dragging across his cock made you moan lightly, your juices already spreading along his shaft. The side of your neck where he’d bit you to show that you were bonded to him for life, slowly burned with a feverish desire. Thomas’ hands left your chest, moving between your lower halves and tapping your thigh for you to sit up for a second. His hand gripped the base of his cock, directing the tip to your entrance before you sunk down on him. Your legs shook by the time you were fully seated on it, he was far deeper than you were used to and the feeling made your head buzz. 

Any other time of the month, Thomas was usually quiet when having sex. However, the minute his shift appears, he’s much louder. Possessive growls and rougher grips on your body, make it that much easier for your pussy to spasm around his cock multiple times. A sharp buck of his hips made you grip onto him quickly, rolling your hips in time with his movements. Tilting your chin up, Thomas pressed his lips against yours, swallowing your cries of pleasure as he moved faster, pushing you down on your back before leaning over you and thrusting like a mad man. 

His mouth never left your skin, littering it with bruises and small bite marks that you knew would heal over time. When he moved to your neck, his teeth grazed the bite mark that bonded you, the scars were pale against your skin. His tongue laved over them, easing your mind before his teeth pressed into the wound. You winced, a small whine escaped your lips but the way your cunt tightened around his cock gave him the okay to keep going. Sinking his teeth in further to re-puncture the old scar, he fucked you deeper, moving your legs around to hit that one spot inside you that had you seeing stars. 

The obscene amount of noise that was coming from your lower half made you flush, your juices running down the curve of your legs and ass, onto the couch below. A low growl came from the man as he removed his teeth from your mark, licking the blood off his lips and your skin before hiking your legs up to the one position that really made your pussy drench his cock. Your knees were practically by your ears as Thomas split your open, his cock thrusting into you at a steady but rough pace. “Cum inside me please,” you begged, looking up at him through watery lashes, the pleasure making everything intense. “I want your children, Thomas. Please, cum inside me,” you whimpered when he groaned deeply, his cock twitching inside you. 

The simply thought of you being pregnant with his children made his heart flutter. His eyes focused on the way your pussy was creaming around his cock and the sight of his member bulging your stomach every time he moved. With rough fingers, he moved his hand to your clit, rubbing tight little circles around the hardened bud and watching you squirm. 

It didn’t take long before the white hot pleasure of euphoria shook through you, your body convulsing for a second as he fucked you through your first orgasm of the night. “That’s my girl, can you cum again for me?” His voice made you shiver and you nodded as your thighs shook. He leaned his weight down a bit more and you knew exactly what he was trying to do the minute he did that. 

“It’s going to make a mess,” you warned, looking at him as he smirked cheekily. “You’re cleaning the couch then,” you moaned as a particularly hard thrust made your cervix throb in pain. The way Thomas’ voice grew louder made it a sign to you that he was close and you wanted nothing more than for him to pump you full. Pressing his mouth to yours, he growled at the feeling of your gummy walls sucking him in. He moved his fingers back to your clit and worked his magic, leaving you a trembling mess as he brought you close to the edge again. 

“You ready, pretty girl?” He asked, watching you nod before he rubbed your clit harshly, your walls tightening around him to the point where he was cumming within seconds. The feeling of his cock being drenched by your quivering little hole made him pull back for a second and watch as you squirted around him. Thomas let out a groan as he let out everything he had, watching your stomach bulge slightly before he let you move your legs down. 

“I hope this time it works,” you panted, referring to the cum sticking to your inside walls. Thomas chuckled, pressing open mouth kisses along your face before connecting his lips with yours. “I love you, Thomas.” You said gently, looking up into the deep blue eyes you adored so much. 

“I love you too,” He replied, kissing you once more.

[pigeonp0st]

Hi :,) love your fics so so much and I have so many requests so you’ll be hearin from me a bit as long as your requests are open lol! Hope that’s ok❤️ I was wondering if you could write a Nat x reader fic where reader was kidnapped by hydra and tortured and the team finds her and bring her back to the tower but she’s different now she has powers and is extremely mentally scarred?

Natasha Romanoff x Reader #7

Words: 2,565

Warnings: Depression, trauma

Notes:

Thank you! I don’t mind at all, thank you for requesting and wanting to in the first place. I think this is my longest fic? Or at least one of...I did it fairly quickly though so sorry for any spelling mistakes and grammar errors.

———

Natasha is scared.

She is more scared than she has possibly ever been, and she’s reckless, and she’s determined, and she’s stupid.

But she finds you. She saves you, and everything else she’s come to regret about the ways she did it, and the way she handled it, doesn’t matter.

She pushes open about the fifteenth door she’s looked through and she sees you, trapped and bloody but alive, tied to a chair, and she’s so full of relief and happiness she doesn’t notice the new haunted look in your eyes.

She rushes towards you, feet pounding on concrete and uncaring of how loud she’s being, and feels tears rush to her eyes.

You’re okay. She saved you.

——-

Natasha is the last person to realize you’re not okay, but perhaps she’s the first to realize the depths of that truth.

She watches you, for the hundredth time since you returned two days ago, and the first ‘wrong’ thing she notices is the way your hand shakes around the spoon you’re eating with.

Then, a couple of hours later she realizes that you’ve hardly spoken.

She hates herself for not noticing sooner, but she has now so she tries to say something, not just about this but about all of the pieces of the broken image Natasha hadn’t allowed herself to see in the relief that she had felt after she had found you.

You’ve always been open and honest with her and she hadn’t thought there’d be a reason for that to change now, but when she asks and reaches out for you you jerk away so fast you almost fall off the bed.

“Don’t touch me, Natasha.”

You growl it out so venomously Natasha is momentary struck frozen. She wonders in the second before you speak again if she has done something wrong.

Then, you release a shaky sad breath and lower your head. “I’m...i’m sorry.”

Natasha says nothing, and so you leave.

—-

“Y/N...she’s not here.”

The mug of coffee Natasha’s holding drops from her hand and shatters violently on the ground. The room is deathly silent, with nothing but the beep from the finished microwave to fill the quiet, and Natasha see’s nothing but you tied and bloodied in the hydra base and hears nothing but the quiet and broken way you had told her you were a “monster now.”

And then she feels nothing but sorrow because this is her fault. She made you pull away, Natasha made you need space from the compound (she asked too many questions again earlier), but she also can’t let you have it.

She is scared again, and she hates how it’s becoming a regular feeling. She’s afraid you're going to get hurt again, so she can’t let you go. Not without her. Not yet.

“I’ll find her,” Natasha grits out, abandoning the glass on the floor and rushing to grab her keys from the kitchen cabinet. “If I don’t in an hour or two i’ll call so you guys can—” Natasha pauses, feeling stupid, “did you...did you call...or text?”

Wanda nods slowly, eyebrows furrowed together. “She answered.”

Everyone waits for Wanda to repeat what you had told her but she doesn’t. Not for a long enough moment that Natasha just considers leaving anyways.

It’s dark out, and it’s thundering, and you didn’t tell anyone you were leaving, so she’s worried. Natasha is worried.

“She said that she needed to escape for a couple of hours, to not come after her, to tell Natasha that she was still breathing.”

A pause. Natasha sets her keys back down.

“She said she was lost, and that she was tired.”

“Lost?” Natasha repeats, her heart stopping for a moment and then leaping into her throat.

“Mentally,” Wanda clarifies, huffing out a sigh.

But you said that you don’t want her to come looking for you, so with all of the will power Natasha can summon she stays, and she waits for you to come home.

——-

Lost, you had told Wanda, but can you be lost when you don’t even remember what you’re searching for anymore. When you don’t remember what it was like to feel ‘home.’

The rain pounds hard on your back, it soaks you wet and makes your clothes stick to your skin the way it did when they were soaked with blood, and it drowns out every noise that isn’t the beat of your heart and the downpour of rain

Hydra had experimented on you and tortured you, and you came out with nothing left of the old you and flames on your hand.

They gave you the power to control fire, to summon fire, to be resistant to it.

That’s what they gave but they took too much more.

The fire you’re supposed to master feels like it’s in you, like it’s burning you away bit by bit and leaving nothing but ashes in its wake, and you’re trying. You tried so hard. You tried to put it out, to stop the change, to reverse it, but you can’t. You can’t so you continue to burn and okay—that was manageable—but it wasn’t supposed to burn Natasha.

It wasn’t supposed to burn your friends.

They look at you now and they see it, Natasha is starting to see it, and you know, you know, you know, they can never love this new you. They will only ache for the loss of the past you—and you never meant to hurt them with change.

There is nothing you can do. All feels lost and hopeless, and you're helpless, so you sit in the rain and shiver with the cold seeping into your skin, and for the first time since you were kidnapped your heart and mind releases itself from the burden of its suffering.

For a moment, looking up at the sky, you’re the old you.

At peace.

——-

You walk into the living room, soaked and dripping water everywhere, and you see Natasha curled up on the couch sleeping.

It stops you in your tracks and has you looking around to check if anyone is there and then moving to crouch by her side to study her.

Even though it feels like every bit of you has changed the love you have for Natasha and the others is still the same. You hadn’t taken time to realize it but it’s such a great relief that you almost release a sob before you manage to bite it down.

The love you have for them is the same, they’re the same, the compound is the same.

As you think about the compound you glance around to see if it truly is the way it was and then you spot a shattered glass mug left on the floor.

It’s Nat’s favorite mug, you realize with a bit of sadness on her behalf.

It isn’t broken too terribly…it’s still recognizable, perhaps it can be pieced back together…

Like you. Maybe. If you still love the way you had, if you still have the memories that you had, maybe it’s enough to make your pieces recognizable enough to be pieced back together.

Or maybe it’s storming outside, and you're soaked to the bone feeling too poetic.

Thunder strikes outside and you jump so violently from both the sound and the images that flash through your head that you almost wake up Natasha.

God, you’re still so pathetic.

With an agonized sigh you push yourself up right again and try to remember where the Avengers keep the super glue.

——

Natasha wakes up slowly then abruptly when she remembers that you’re missing. Fuck, had you not come home last night, Nat wonders, are you hurt, did something happen—

“Y/N fixed your mug,” Clinton says from besides her on the couch, gesturing to the mug on the coffee table. Natasha settles back down. “She said that it probably can’t hold liquid in it anymore, but that if you want to test it and it breaks she’ll fix it again.”

“Where is she?” Natasha asks, ignoring the surge of warmth in her chest in favor of her worry. “Did she look okay?”

“In her room,” he answers, then winces, “or yours.”

“How is she?” Natasha repeats.

Clint thinks about it for a moment. “Physically? I think she’s coming down with a fever. Apparently she was out there in the rain for hours,” He sighs, running a hand through his short hair, “emotionally—”

But Natasha doesn’t let him finish before she’s jumping off the couch and rushing towards your room. You don’t go to hers anymore so when she doesn’t find you in yours she worries that you’ve run again...this time she really can’t let you go. Not while you’re sick.

She can’t—

There’s a note on your bed.

“Stop worrying. I’m in your bed...it’s more comfortable than mine.”

She wishes she could hate how much you know her.

———

When Natasha enters her room it’s to the sound of your raspy coughs and then an out of breath; “i’ve been expecting you.”

Natasha laughs unexpectedly and shakes her head at your ridiculousness. “You’re lighter than usual, despite circumstances,” she says quietly after her laughter dies down.

“Usual,” you repeat, the light in your eyes darkening in an instant. “Usual meaning the past week? Is my...is this me your new normal?”

Natasha doesn’t know what to say, and it seems to make you frustrated.

“You should expect more,” you tell her bitterly, “you should ask for more. You deserve more.”

Natasha steps forward and you physically jolt back. She stops. “You got tortured. What did they do to you?”

You shake your head, once, twice, “stop talking Nat. Stop.”

“You asked me to ask for more. You said I should.”

“I meant other things!” You shout angrily, fire in your eyes. Literally. “I meant you should expect more care, you deserve more than me avoiding you, you—”

“I just want to understand,” Natasha whispers, her shoulders dropping. “I don’t care about anything else, I don’t care if you need to avoid me to deal with things by yourself, but I feel like...like I'm lost too. Like I don’t understand the person I've always understood.”

“Natasha, I'm not ready for you to know me,” you whisper, the weight of her words and your sorrow wrapped around your throat and squeezing out secrets you’d rather keep in.

“You’re not a different person.”

“Yes I am.”

“Hold out your hand.”

You blink at her in shock and confusion but do as you're told. Natasha moves towards you, strides towards you, and you try not to wince, you try not to let the sound of her footsteps bring you to places you’d rather not be.

Her hand reaches for you, you close your eyes—expecting pain because it’s all you ever knew in your haunting week with Hydra—and when you open them again it’s because Natasha has interlaced your fingers.

Her hand...her hand looks the same against yours. It feels the same. She’s touched you since you’ve been back but you were too busy trying not to move away to remember that this used to be the only thing you wanted back when she was just a crush. To hold her hand...then when she became your girlfriend it was a comfort that you thought you’d always seek.

“Is your favorite color still the same?” Natasha asks, voice strong and almost as intense as her eyes.

“Yes.”

“Is your favorite song the same, is your favorite movie the same, is your—”

“All of those things don’t make me who I am,” you stutter, unable to hold her eyes. Where Natasha is strong you are weak. Her strength is the sun, and yours is just a dying light bulb.

“They’re small but they matter,” Natasha insists, looking at you so softly you wonder what she sees.

“Are you still trying?” She asks quietly, “do you still care too much?”

“Yes.”

“You’re in pain,” Natasha notes, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear and despising the world for the things it’s done to you when you wince. “You’re scared, traumatized, you leave the room when people are being too loud, you constantly look around, you don’t like people being too close,” she stops, tilting her head. “Care to add?”

“I’m...tired. I don’t even want to get up in the morning for fear of what I'll face through the day—just while doing mundane things. I'm so weak it makes me furious.”

Natasha nods, closing her eyes, “you need to run sometimes, you try so hard to look okay around the others sometimes your jaw physically shakes with the effort, you’re hesitant in everything you do now—”

“Okay.” You cut her off, words shaky. “I get it.”

“I love you. Not loved. I love you. I loved you two weeks ago, before all of this, and I love you in this second just the same,” she cups your cheek and you don’t wince. “I hurt for you. I want to know what you’ve been through, I want you to open up to me, but you’re still Y/N, aren’t you? You’re still the woman I fell in love with.”

“Why are you so sure of that?” You ask, eyes watering.

“You fixed my mug,” Natasha says, breathing out a short huff of laughter. “Thank you.”

“You loved it, Nat.”

“You hated it.”

And okay. “I need time,” you whisper, “time to process and then slowly maybe I can…maybe I can heal.”

With all of the certainty in the world Natasha says; “you will”, and you believe her. “And if you need time then you have it.” She moves to step back, to drop her hand, but you don’t let her.

You grasp her hand where it is on your cheek and with your eyes you beg her to stay, and then you do with your voice too; “not from you. Just please don’t ask me questions about what happened yet. Can we just…” you sigh, glancing down. “Can we just exist together?”

Natasha looks at you, really looks at you, and she sees how vulnerable you are in this moment, how strong, She sees it in the way your hand shakes against her, in the way—

“Say something,” you beg, exasperated, “please.”

“I’m sorry,” Natasha says, chuckling at the glare you give her. “I just love you so much sometimes I need a moment,” and then, she says, easily like there is no other option, like she would want nothing else, “Of course i’ll stay.”

And the sorrow wrapped around your throat like a rope only getting tighter, and the trauma burning away at your insides like an imperishable flame, and the anxiety like boulders on your shoulder only keeping you down, it all goes away.

For a moment, you suspect, just like when you were outside in the rain, but the fact that you can feel this way here, with another person in the room this close to you, with nothing there to drown everything out, it gives you hope.

It’s the first time you’ve seen the light in the darkness, but you think that maybe it was always there.

“Thank you, Natasha. For everything.”

She smiles, softly and full of love. “Thank you for everything, too,” and what she’s really saying is; “thank you for giving me you.”

——

For Part 2 click here

(Takes place about a month later)

[mandospace]

Cuun aliit morut'yc (Din Djarin x Reader)

Request: hi heard your requests are open and I was wondering if I could request mando x reader ? Maybe reader is having a nightmare and calls out for him or something ? Thank you 💕✨

Requested By: @theichabbieclub​

Word Count: 1,873

Warnings: Violence, sligh swearing, racism/microaggression??(Gideon is an ass, you’ll see what I mean), nightmares, fluff.

A/N: It has been so long since I’ve posted anything, and I am so sorry for that. College has been kicking my butt recently since it is my last semester and there is just not enough time in the day for me to get everything done. Also sorry that it’s so short and being posted so late. Anyways, I hope you like it and my requests are open! Or you can also just drop by to say hello :)

MASTERLIST

You had to find them. 

Adrenaline was pumping through your veins, pushing your legs to move faster down the dark corridor. At every door you slammed on the breaks, flung it open, and scanned the room for your missing family. With every empty room, the feeling of dread settled deeper.

“No, no, no,” you repeat to yourself, flinging open another door. Empty. Feet scrambled to the next one. Empty, again. They had to be here, right? Logic and reason told you that they had to be here, somewhere, in this giant starship. Your family hidden from you.

Another door, another empty room. Dread soon replaced the adrenaline that was pumping through your veins. It was like you could feel it’s icy grip on you, freezing every cell in your body. Your heart beat faster in your chest, trying to keep the icy tendrils at bay. It was no use, they were gone— gone from you forever and there was nothing that you could do about it.

Just as you were about to accept your lonely fate and let the numbness set in, you heard it— a small, tiny giggle. Immediately your head snapped up and to the left. You knew that laugh, that giggle— it was one you heard from your adopted son every time you played hide and seek with him.

Your boots scrambled for purchase on the shiny waxed floor and you chased after the sound. With every turn you could hear it getting louder— more full and heartier. Tears started to wet the corner of your eyes at the idea that you almost found him— your ad’ika.

The laughter was coming from behind a black door, identical to the others. It finally slid open and you saw him— a little green thing dressed in his brown sack. The bottom was torn and one of his little feet was sticking out of it— you and Din had sewn it together to protect his feet once he started walking. Your heart tugged at the memory. The tears began to flow freely.

“Oh, ad’ika,” you breathed out in relief. You fell to your knees to scoop up the little bean but he seemed to disappear right under your fingertips— like a mirage or a hologram. Confusion replaced the relief you once felt.

A ‘tsk-ing’ sounded from behind you and you spun around on your knees. From the shadows emerged Moff Gideon, holding your son in his arms. Grogu had small handcuffs around his tiny wrists and a muzzle over his small mouth. His ears dropped in sadness.

“Let go of him!” the snarl ripped through your chest and before you could lunge out at him, four stormtroopers had their blasters trained on you.

“Now, is that any way to address your superior?” Gideon smirked down at you, stepping further into the dim light of the room.

“You’re not my superior. You are the scum of the galaxy. You aren’t even worth bantha shit.”

“Ouch,” he chuckled patronizingly at you. “You really should watch your mouth, girl. Especially since I have your son and Mandalorian.”

The mention of Din must have made you react or something because shortly after Gideon was back to laughing at you. The stormtroopers moved in on you, blasters trained at your head while the door slid open. Another trooper dragged something behind him, and to your shock and horror you realized the thing he was dragging was Din’s limp body.

“Mand—” before the words even fully left your mouth a trooper was swinging the back of his hand towards your face, backhanding you. Blood filled your mouth.

Din laid in a heap of beskar, unmoving and lifeless. Your eyes searched his form for any type of injury. He was barely breathing— his chest only raising slightly. You turned back to Gideon.

“What did you do to him?”

“You should be more worried about what I will do to him than what I already have done, girl,” Gideon stepped closer to Din’s unconscious body, giving him a swift kick to the ribs. A horrible crunching sound reverberated through the room.

“Stop! Don’t hurt him!” tears flowed past your cheeks. “Please.”

Gideon just smiled ruefully at you while he knelt down next to Din’s limp body. He leaned in close to his helmeted face. “Did you hear that, Mando? Your girl is begging me to not hurt you. Should I listen to her?”

“Please.”

“Okay, then,” Gideon stood up but not before nudging Din’s helmet with his boot. “Maybe she’d prefer if I hurt your child?”

“NO!” the cry was ripped from your chest. Gideon had grabbed Grogu by the back of his sack and gave him a shake. His small whimpers and big eyes broke your heart into a million pieces. “Please, no. Please, do something to me instead. Don’t hurt my family, please.”

“Interesting proposition, but no.” Gideon tossed Grogu to the ground next to his father. You went to move towards them but was met with blasters poking your back. “Why would I hurt you— physically, at least— when I can hurt my most hated adversary?”

Immediately the blasters that were trained on you moved to Din. “No, please, no!”

“It’s a package deal for me, it really is,” Gideon sauntered towards you, crouching on his haunches. His gloved hand gripped your jaw and forced you to look him in the eyes. “I first will kill the child that turned out to be a waste of my efforts. Then, as you are sobbing over your dead child, I kill Mando as he watches his— what do you people call it? Riduur?” the Mando’a wraps distastefully around his tongue. “Well, whatever it is— I kill him in a merciful act to put him out of his misery. And then that leaves you, whom I will drop off on some desolate moon to live out the rest of your days knowing you couldn’t have done a damn thing to change the outcome.”

Your eyes widened in horror at his plan. “You’re a monster!”

“No, girl,” Gideon stood. “I’m Empire.”

He motioned with his hands and suddenly all of the blasters were trained on your son. 

“NO!” your cries tumbled past your lips and onto deaf ears. “Please, no! Mando, wake up! Mando!”

“Say goodbye to your family.”

The remaining troopers grabbed you by the arms and forced you to watch what was about to happen. You struggled in their grasp but it was no use. “Mando! D-Din! Din, wake up! Din! DIN!”

Time slowed down and a single red plasma beam streaked towards your son. “DIN!”

“Cyare, wake up.”

You felt someone shaking you but you were still frozen in place, watching your life be destroyed.

“Cyar’ika, please,” Din’s voice seemed to be coming from behind you, but that made no sense— he was currently on the floor in front of you, motionless. “Come back to me.”

It was those four words that pulled you from your nightmare. Eyes flying open, you were met with the dark interior of the ship, not the Imperial starship you thought you were on. Your breaths came quickly and your heart raced. You searched the area for Din and gasped when you felt his warm touch on your arm. 

“Din,” you cried and flung your arms around his neck. He immediately pulled you onto his lap and wrapped his arms around your waist. The cold beskar and the warmth of his exposed neck grounded you— he was still dressed from the day’s earlier hunt, sans his glove and helmet. His scent enveloped you and the feeling of his tousled locks under your fingertips brought you back to reality.

“Are you alright?” he pressed his lips to your hairline and rubbed soothing circles into your back. When you shook your head and buried your face further into his neck, he picked up his motions. “Shhhh, it's okay. I have you. I’m here.”

You hadn’t noticed but you began to shake violently in Din’s arms as the sobs wracked through your body. Din just held you tighter, pressed kisses to your forehead, and whispered soothing Mando’a in your ear. 

After you had calmed down a bit, you pulled back from Din who’s neck and cowl was now soaked with your tears. His brown eyes searched yours and his warm palm cupped your cheek, his thumb lightly grazing your cheekbone. “Do you want to talk about it?”

You didn’t want to talk about ‘it’ in fear that you would break down at the memory of your son being shot. Your son!

“Din, where’s Grogu?” your voice came out high and panicked. You could feel the anxiety gripping your heart. 

“He’s in his pram, sleeping,” both of his hands were cupping your face now. His forehead dropped to yours in a Keldabe kiss. “He’s fine, he’s safe. I’m safe. You’re safe. Our aliit is safe.”

“I—I need to see him,” your words still held a sense of panic. “Hold him.”

“Of course, Cyare,” Din pressed his lips to yours briefly— reassuring you that he would be right back. When he returned with a grumpy looking frog in his arms— not happy that he was woken from his sleep— the tears streaming down your face were no longer from sorrow but joy.

“Oh, my ad’ika!” you reached out for your son and took him from his father’s arms. At seeing his mother, Grogu let out a small chirp of happiness. You held him tightly to your chest and placed kisses all over his wrinkly green forehead. Grogu must have sensed your distress because he started to pat your cheek with his tiny hand. 

Din took his place next to you and pulled you back onto his lap, his strong arms wrapping tightly around his family. Grogu curled into your chest and you curled into Din’s. 

“We’re safe, ner riduur,” his warm lips pressed against your forehead. “Cuun aliit morut'yc.”

“I was so scared, Din,” you whispered, placing a gentle kiss to your sleeping child’s head. You met Din’s eyes. “It was awful.”

“I know, Cyare,” he resumed rubbing soothing circles into your back. “You were calling out for me in your sleep, screaming my name. You only do that when it’s really bad.”

“Oh,” this was news to you. You never knew that you talked in your sleep. “Sorry.”

“No, do not be sorry, Riduur,” Din grabbed your chin and tilted your head back, forcing you to meet his gaze. “I will always be there for you when you need me. Remember our vows? ‘Mhi me'dinui an— we will share all.’ That includes sharing your fears and sorrows. You don’t have to face them alone, Riduur.”

“Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum, Din.”

The smallest smile formed on his lips. He would never tire of hearing you say that. “Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum.”

He leaned in and captured your lips in a soft kiss— one that said everything left unspoken. How Din would always be there for you. How he would protect you and your small clan of three. How he would fight till his dying breath to keep you safe and happy. You were his family, his aliit, and no amount of bad dreams would take that away from him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MANDO’A TRANSLATIONS:

Cyare = beloved

Cyar’ika = darling, sweetheart

Riduur = partner, spouse, husband, wife

Ner riduur = my partner, spouse, husband, wife

Ad’ika = little one, son, daughter

Aliit = family

Cuun aliit morut'yc = our family is safe

Mhi me'dinui an =  we will share all; a part of the Mandalorian marriage vows

Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum = I love you