#and (to my knowledge; correct me if I'm wrong) it's just not brought up during the sanbi???

[itischeese]

anyways i fully believe that canonically madara and/or zetsu made her do it with a slave seal because the alternative leaves me too salty to mention.

YESSSSS. I'm of the opinion that while the seal didn't fully control her, it wrecked her ability to think rationally and also probably made her mind fixate on the idea that she had to die or everyone else would.

Either way, the seal having an Effect on her that pushed her to do it makes so much more sense than her (canonically incredibly intelligent and compassionate) not considering the danger she would leave Kakashi in, or the fact that their teacher is a teleporting seal master...

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not telling a player why I'm dropping them from my table?

I am running a D&D game, and it has been going on for a few months. It was intended to be a short game an we only have a few weeks left. When I invited everyone to the game, it was with that knowledge, and with the pre-requisite that they are an experienced player. I established what kind of game it would be from the start.

This guy, Quinn (not irl name) said he met the requests and was excited to play. As we began, it became apparent he was incredibly inexperienced with D&D (not knowing what a proficiency bonus is, not understanding action vs bonus action, etc). All of the players and I were patient with him, and this wasn't a problem. But we did have to shorten goals in the game because he slowed down combat drastically. We were still on a set timeline. My only issue with this was that he lied to me from the beginning.

Many other things were red flags: him getting upset when players couldn't make a session (giving notice), but him showing up late to every session. Dominating rp and not being interested when it wasn't about him, not really listening to me as a DM (I am femme presenting), but listening to my partner (m) who I'm co-running the game with. We had tried to talk to him about issues in the past, and he was receptive and gently corrected his behavior.

Before this recent session, the players made a wild turn and we are rolling with it. But, due to this sudden change, another player asked if we could come back to those side adventures as a 2-3 shot later. I agreed. But Quinn then pushed for us extending the game as a whole. I was very firm that we were ending on the 10th, to respect other people's time. Later, a player had covid exposure, but ended up being negative after 5 days and tests, but I requested everyone wear masks anyway because we had all recently had more warnings of exposure. Everyone else preferred this, except him, who outright refused, and I told him he could call in instead and we'd set up a camera.

These last few things rubbed me the wrong way, so I asked all the other players privately how they were feeling, without goading them by expressing my gripes. It didn't want to start a hate train, only see where evryone was at. I was already of the mind that I would not have him back at my table after these sessions, but would finish out the game with him.

When my players reported back, I found out that Quinn had made the only female player feel incredibly uncomfortable, reaching out to her privately, relentlessly attempting to flirt with her character (which as always shut down by me or even another player). Additionally another player got back to me saying they were very uncomfortable because Quinn had been pressuring them to hang out outside of the game, and not taking "no" for an answer. Various other things were brought to my attention, but those two responses were what made me decide to remove him then and there.

I never spoke to the other players about what each of them had said, so some people were confused because, while they didn't like him much, they thought removing him was sudden.

Quinn blew up in a chat with me and the co-DM, demanding a reason. He messaged me privately with some aggressive claims that he deleted soon after. We called him that night to talk, and told him we'd offer his information to the other players should they want to reach out as friends. I only listened in on the phone call due to the agression in his messages to me.

On the phone, my partner simply explained to him he wass no longer a good fit, and we are doing what is best for our table and players. Quinn berated him for more information, targeting the content of his character and skills as a DM in order to get a reaction, but my partner just told him, "responses were kept private. I will not divulge any more information, but we will no longer have you at our able moving forward."

Quinn's behavior during the call only solidified that this was the right choice (saying we have god complexes, are alcoholics because we got drunk during one game, announcing he'd slander us to the community at the local game shop, reminding that he knows where we work as a veiled threat).

The thing Quinn kept pressing for was asking how he can correct his behavior if he doesn’t know what he did. But we refused to tell him because it would directly out some of our players, who we promised anonymity.

I know I'm not wrong for booting him from the table, but AITA for not explaining why so that Quinn can correct his behavior?

What are these acronyms?

[aetherspoon]

A not-so-simple relocation, days 19-27

Hi. Been sick for a while there, plus a whole heck of a lot of depression hitting gave me a nice one-two punch toward writing this up. Kriatyrr gave me a flu/cold/not-covid-because-we-tested thing last week and it basically KO'd me. I'm fine at this point, but that kind of put a bit of a damper on doing, well, just about anything. Where did I last leave off? *reads the previous entry*

Oh, right. The Mail Saga, Part 2

That's right, mail! Last time I mentioned that I basically didn't exist according to the Norwegian postal service. Specifically:

I ordered cat supplies (food, tree, shrub, water fountain) from the website on the 24th of May. I pay for home delivery instead of to a package drop-off because cat trees be heavy, yo.

Tracking information became available on the 29th of May. Turns out, the pet supply site is based in Germany and I didn't realize it. [5 days / 2 or 3 business days; I'm counting as three because Germany doesn't have it as a holiday, just the US and Norway]

1st of June, the packages arrive in Oslo. This is a Thursday, so I thought Oslo might actually have their shit together on Thursdays. [8 days / 6 business days]

First "attempt" at delivery occurred on the 2nd of June. The post office claims to have no knowledge as to what my address is. For reference, my address is, in fact, directly on these boxes, but I assumed that something went wrong on the store side of things. [9 days / 7 business days]

I contacted the company I bought the items from, as per the instructions from the Norwegian postal service. Unfortunately, they had shut down their chat an hour prior to the postal service contacting me.

I heard back from the store on the 5th of June, saying that the address was indeed correct and the Norwegian postal service just didn't deliver the package to my home for some reason? [12 days / 8 business days]

Later that same day, the Norwegian postal service decides to drop off the packages at the package drop-off area located inside of the mini-mall. This is around 20 minutes by foot away, and these packages are around 70kg / 150 lbs; just... no way in hell am I able to pick that up. I get that information and ask them to deliver it to my home, paying again to have home delivery. This time, I give them Kriatyrr's phone number instead of mind. Keep in mind, Kriatyrr has been ordering things delivered by the same postal service without issue during this entire time.

7th of June, the Norwegian postal service picks up the packages from the mini-mall and brings them to a terminal. By this point, my cats would be eating my face if I hadn't found the vet that had some T/D for sale. [14 days / 10 business days]

8th of June, the Norwegian postal service drops the packages off... at the package drop-off area located inside of the mini-mall. That's right, they picked them up, brought them to a depot, turned around, and put them right back where they were. [16 days / 12 business days]

9th of June, I start trying to find out how to just contact the post office to ask them WTF, mate? but to no avail. By this point my voice is mostly gone and both Kriatyrr and I are sick. Neither of us like calling people to begin with and that appeared to be the only option. [17 days / 13 business days]

12th of June, I finally figure out how to break their chat bot enough to force them to direct me to customer support. Seriously, I literally broke the bot enough where it started swapping languages willy-nilly on me and kept breaking it until I found a consistent path to a secret queue. [20 days / 14 business days]

I explain to the support agent the situation and give them the three tracking numbers. The support agent is utterly dumbfounded as to what the hell happened and literally ordered someone to take a car to pick up the dang boxes like I had paid for twice.

14th of June, the packages are picked up from the mini-mall. They are dropped off in front of my apartment, as per my original request. The boxes are heavily damaged, there are holes large enough for all of the objects ordered to fall through, but everything is accounted for. [22 days / 16 business days]

I... I have no words. This can't be just incompetence, there are too many people involved. They literally delivered other packages with the same address on them to the same apartment. My mail was delivered to the correct mailbox with the same name on it even.

Good news though, my cats now have a very scenic cat tree.

Depression sucks, especially when it gets a new vector to intrude in on my thoughts.

I don't think I've mentioned this too much around social media, but I was formally diagnosed with "Major Depressive Disorder (Severe) With Anxious Distress" (DSM-5's name for "your brain gots it BAD", I think) quite some time ago. I say "was" and "had" because, as of around the time I finally started the process of moving after all of my myriad delays, I was reclassified as having Major Depressive Disorder (Partial Remission).

While logically I understand that I'm living in a new country/region/culture/etc and it is going to take a lot of time to adjust, I still feel like I've made a terrible mistake. It doesn't help that, looking at pure mathematics, this has been the single most expensive decision of my life by a very large margin. With how much this has cost me in both literal-dollars and future-dollars, this likely set me back 5-10 years on retirement.

Those two bits? Definitely not unrelated. I'm basically never sure how much of this is StupidBrain (tm) trying to worm itself back in to throw me back to my major depressive episodes, how much of it is that I genuinely made a really bad decision, and how much of it is "this is bullshit but temporary". Everyone else tells me it is the latter, but I keep finding more and more evidence that this is probably one of the two other decisions.

Kriatyrr left today to head back to their other home. Their kitties are (hopefully) waiting on their arrival back in the middle of nowhere but unfortunately this means that I'm by myself again - the exact situation that I try to avoid whenever possible, since that's my severe depression trigger button. I'm okay right now, but I'm concerned, if that makes sense.

Other things

I wasn't actually well by day 19 as per my previous entry, it just fluctuated a bit first. It was more like day 21 that I felt well enough to go walking again.

Speaking of walking, Stupid Hill (tm) is still stupid, but I'm walking up it much faster than before. I don't know if it is a different pacing than before, or my legs adjusted to elevation being a thing, or just "I'm getting back into shape", but I can make halfway decent time walking up the hill now, only needing to take a break if I have to go to the mini-mall.

The Mini-Mall

I guess this needs a bit more description. Norway, like much of mainland Europe as far as I know, has a lot of shopping malls. Unlike the US and Canada, they're typically located at centers of public transit; the main mall nearby me is at a transfer point three stops to the west of where I live... but there is a mall closer. Much closer - it is one stop west on the main bus line by my home and is a reasonable walk from my apartment. It... doesn't really have much in it though, and the hours leave a lot to be desired.

The mall has a grocery store (common in Europe, and I really don't understand why it is so uncommon in the US), Asian import food store, doctor's office, dentist, department store, furniture store, clothing stores, consignment shop, and a handful of restaurants. Really though, beyond the restaurants, I actually have closer things to me than the mall to fulfill those needs. If I want to go slightly further time-wise, I can hit the main mall area instead.

It does, however, have a bakery. An actual not-inside-of-a-grocery-store independent bakery with freshly baked bread and pastries on the daily. One of the objectives I had when it came to choosing a place to move to was having a place to walk to on a regular basis. This means having a goal in mind... and the goal I selected was a bakery.

Next week, I'm going to start regularly going to the bakery. We'll see how well this works.

Last time:

[bbugyu]

of all the views you had seen, there was little that could compare to him.

6.2k | cavalry captain!jeonghan x gn pyro!reader, genshin impact au, fluff, adventure, drinking, so much flirting, mentions of trauma, honestly this is the sweetest i'm ever gonna write jeonghan

happy inazuma release day!!! it's your local kaeya trash, because i predictably fall for gay bastards that lie straight to my face (example: jeonghan), and i'm here to give you a fic i wrote AGES ago and just polished up a bit to celebrate the release of what is likely going to be my FAVORITE region in genshin impact. i'm japanese so 😅 i have a soft spot. if there's any other gaymer carats out there, enjoy this one. if not, sorry! you can actually probably still read this and understand it for the most part, though you might miss a bit of context of the landscape and the lore.

ps. go tell @babiemingoo that wonwoo xinqiu 🤭

~

your work with the adventurer's guild was always efficient. you received your commissions, you carried them out, then returned for your reward, usually before the sun had even peaked. the rest of your day was generally spent either basking in the eternal sun of mondstadt, feeding cats in inazuma, or enjoying a hard earned meal in liyue, depending on where you decided to stay that week, finding board and paying for it with the commission you had earned that day. your tendency to wander came less from choice and more from nature - you could call yourself a nomad, but generally, you just got bored, and preferred seeing everything teyvat had to offer rather than settling in one place. adventuring was simply what you were meant to do, your mother had told you at a young age.

she, too, had wandered for most of her youth, and didn't stop just because you had come into her life. you remembered getting scooped up because you had wandered off a bit too close to the railing at wangshu inn as a toddler, playing with dogs at the docks of liyue harbor. you remembered the ludi harpastum and the first time you had ever had a sweet honey roast, and the way it made your eyes grow ten times in size before you dug in for more.

when your vision was bestowed upon you, you already knew how to use a sword. it was important, your mother told you, that you knew how to protect yourself. she had a vision as well, younger even than you had, and you had come to recognize the static in the air as a sign that she was angry - whether it was because of an altercation with someone on your journey or because you had secretly eaten the last hashbrown without consulting her first.

she used her vision and a sturdy blade she had owned since before you were born to protect the two of you on the road, but when she felt you were old enough, she taught you how to weild. a two handed weapon that was far too big for you when you were only fourteen, but when your reckless abandon got paired with a spark, you suddenly became far more dangerous than even your own mother. she scolded you for nearly starting a forest fire when you tried to pair the two skills for the first time after receiving your vision, and you both agreed that training was a beach activity from then on.

your mother settled eventually, after you were old and skilled enough to take on the road alone, pulling the many favors she had gathered in her travels to build a home in a small neighborhood south of liyue harbor, nestled in the foothills of mount tianheng, where you visited as often as your wandering allowed.

you had become much better with your vision. more careful but just as hot. quick to scan situations and strategize in the moment, hardly taking a second before jumping into action, slaying hilichurls like you were getting paid. well, you were, you supposed, but you had been doing this long before you had discovered the benefit of joining the guild. you were good at it. you were built for adventure, but revelled in leisure. there was good reason you were able to take afternoons off, and you milked every last second of it.

"you're back in town?"

you grinned, leaning your sword against the wall and dropping your bag off your shoulders before settling at the bar. "for now."

rubin often served you alcohol - when you were in mondstadt, at least, however often that may be - but never questioned you deeply. he would ask how your travels were, and listen to your stories from regions beyond his knowledge, of the cultures that he had only heard of from people like you. he enjoyed them just about as much as any, if not a little more, purely because your tenacious personality brought something more to the table. he wondered, though, how long you intended to keep living day by day, sleeping in different beds every week.

"what's wrong with sleeping in different beds?" you teased, laughing into your wine glass. "if i didn't know any better, i'd think you were shaming me, rube."

rubin simply laughed, knowing your tone by now. "i just wonder if you ever intend on digging in your roots, or if you'll continue travelling forever."

"if i dig roots, you may never see me again. is that what you want?"

"what," he said. "you don't like mondstadt?"

"i love monstadt," you assured him. "but i also love inazuma. and my mother is in liyue, though she might be upset with me if i try to settle too close to her. perhaps natlan would suit me more?" you shrugged finally, the door behind you opening as you finished with "i suppose i'll settle when i've found a reason to love one place more than the rest."

rubin shook his head, a chuckle falling from his lips. "a wanderer through and through." his attention was quickly drawn to the man entering the bar. "ah, captain! the usual?"

"please," the decorated man said, quickly taking a seat beside you despite the rest of the bar being available. "would you like another, wanderer?"

you eyed him cautiously, studying what you could see if his face around the black eyepatch, gaze skimming down his elaborate clothing before looking down at your emptied drink. "sure."

"another for your wandering friend, rubin, on my tab, please." your brain swirled, considering the brief information you had been given and wondered how you had never managed to meet this regular during your past visits. "are you just drinking dandelion wine, or something more fun?"

"more fun?" you asked. "what are you drinking, then?"

"well, a death after noon, of course," he stated. "don't tell me you haven't had one."

you blinked at him. "i haven't."

you turned towards rubin when he laughed at the back and forth. "shall i make two, then?"

"definitely," your new drinking buddy said, then gestured to you. "you trust my taste, right?"

you said nothing, but he accepted your silent smile as an agreeance. "captain," you said finally, thinking of how rubin had addressed him. "of?"

the man turned towards you, his elbow planted on the bar and his cheek on a fist. despite his get up, he had a playful smirk across his lips. "you mean, my reputation doesn't precede me? you really are a wanderer. everyone in mondstadt knows my name."

"everyone but me," you corrected. "as i'm currently in mondstadt."

his teeth shone behind his smirking lips before he sat up straight. "well, allow me to introduce myself." he saluted, his arm extending from his side at an angle - a salute you recognized from the guards around the city. "i am jeonghan, the cavalry captain of the knights of favonius."

"ah, the knights," you smiled briefly, before letting your eyes wander as you thought, crossing your arms over the bar. "i don't see much of a cavalry in the city, though."

he let out an amused exhale. "so i have a bit more free time these days."

"i'm sure the acting grand master is jealous of all your free time," you teased. "poor guy, looks like he's staving off a panic attack every time i see him. you should probably help him more."

"so," he sighed, leaning against the bar again. "you know of the acting grand master but not me?"

"jihoon?" you asked. "of course i know of him. he's all anyone ever talks about around here."

jeonghan nodded once, thanking rubin when he placed two drinks before you. "people talk about me, also, you know."

your lips stuck out in a pout. "jeonghan, you said? doesn't ring a bell."

he rolled his eyes and picked up his drink, holding it out for you to cheers against. you giggled, clinking your glass against his before taking a sip. the golden liquid was sweet, but not like the dandelion wine you had grown to love in this region. it had more depth, a subtle bitterness to it, and a refreshing bubble. you stared after the glass when it left your lips, then looked over to find jeonghan grinning at you.

"i see why it's your usual," you said, taking another sip before placing the glass on the bar. "i could drink too many."

"will you?" he asked.

"not tonight," you replied coolly. "i haven't asked sana to put me up at the guild yet, and if i get there too late, i'll get a cot instead of a bed. unless rubin finally wants to come clean about something?"

the bartender laughed. "how many times do i have to tell you? we don't even have rooms to board."

you squinted at him. "i know there's something upstairs. i'll learn your secrets one day, rube."

"i wouldn't be a very good bartender if i didn't know how to keep them."

"so you're in the guild?" jeonghan asked as rubin attended to another patron. "an adventuring wanderer."

you smiled vaguely at him. "i am. i have to pay for my travels somehow."

he shrugged. "there's other ways to make money. probably more profitable, too."

you eyed his teasing smirk. "i'm not sure i know what you're implying."

"as a captain of the knights of favonius, i assure you, i'm implying nothing at all," he said, exhaling sharply and adjusting on his stool. he leaned over towards you before speaking in a quieter tone. "but as jeonghan, i think you know exactly what i'm implying."

you only laughed, recognizing the thinly veiled attempt to worm a secret out of you. "i outgrew those means a long time ago. besides, when mora gets tight, i can always board up with my mother. i like liyue enough."

jeonghan studied you as you drank again. "liyue's home, is it?'

"for her, yes," you said, looking over to him, but you found yourself looking away again when his steely blue gaze met yours. you thought carefully about how much of yourself you were willing to reveal to this stranger, especially considering how important he was in the rule of the city. "she was a wanderer, too, and ended up falling in love with liyue harbor."

jeonghan made note of the way your face softened as you spoke about your mother. "and what about you?"

you met his intent look again, thinking about how his covered eye somehow made him even more intimidating. perhaps that was its purpose. "what about me?"

"what have you fallen in love with?"

a smile crept onto your lips as you processed his question. "oh, archons, what have i not fallen in love with? the smell of the open ocean in inazuma, the breathtaking temples in sumeru - have you ever been to waterfall city?"

jeonghan merely shook his head at you, the corners of his mouth turning upwards as he put his cheek on a fist again, leaning against the bar. "beautiful?"

you exhaled, eyes wide as you thought of the towering falls and the light mist that covered the city, trying to come up with an apt description. "humbling. there's nothing like it."

he watched your expression, head tilting further. "what a wonderful way to describe a place. tell me more."

your gaze went to him, then away briefly, feeling suddenly shy as you noticed his look. "about waterfall city?"

he shrugged a fur covered shoulder, shaking his head lightly. "about anywhere. describe your world, wanderer. i'd like to hear whatever you have to say."

you wondered if the heat that ran through you was because of the alcohol or the man, but you just took another drink and cleared your throat lightly, thinking of more places you had discovered in your travels. you thought of qingce village, one of your favorite places to visit, because the people are kind and welcoming and the fields are so beautiful. you told him about a tea shop owned by an old man - he insisted you call him pops so fiercely that you weren't even sure you had caught his given name - and it was probably the most relaxing cup of tea you ever had.

"it's been a while since i've gone," you sighed. "i think i'm overdue for a chat with pops and his tea."

jeonghan was smiling when you looked at him again. "the tea in liyue is unmatched," he said, reaching for his drink. before taking another sip, he gestured for you to continue.

so you did. you told him about sakura pond, about celestia city, about the volcanic black beaches. you told him liyue had your favorite people, but inazuma had your favorite food. he clicked his tongue at you.

"what about mondstadt? do we have one of your favorites?"

you smiled, genuinely. "sunsets. the night sky is different here than it is anywhere else. i think mondstadt is the closest we can get to the stars without joining the archons."

jeonghan studied you briefly, his blue eye flicking over your face as you finished your drink. "i think that's an apt observation. it seems your eyes are always wide."

"i travel for the views," you exhaled. "i don't plan on missing any."

he thought a second. "have you been to starsnatch cliff?"

your eyes lit up. "not in years," you said, in complete shock that you could have forgotten such a place. you pushed from the bar slightly, turning towards him, and he noticed the flash of a red gem strapped to your right thigh for the first time. "my mother took me there when i was a kid, but i haven't gone since."

"it never gets old," he said, sipping at the end of his drink. "i've yet to see that view and not be in awe."

"i'll go before i leave mondstadt again," you decided.

he looked to you. "when will that be?"

you sighed. "not sure, yet."

he just chuckled. "would you like another drink?"

"oh, no," you said, standing and stretching your spine. "i should make my leave. i don't like sleeping on cots. i just came by to let my ol' pal rube know i was in town again."

jeonghan watched you pull your pack onto your back, grabbing the handle of your sheathed claymore from where it was leaning against the wall next to the bar. "perhaps i'll see you again tomorrow?"

you looked at him, a vague smile on your lips as you strapped your sword back on. "perhaps you will, captain."

"jeonghan," he corrected. "but i don't believe you ever shared your name?"

"that was by design, captain," you said, and he swore he caught a glint in your eye as you bid rubin a farewell and stepped out of the angel's share.

jeonghan spun back around on his stool, immediately looking to rubin. "do you know their name?"

"no, sir," he said, looking at the closed door. "they've never said."

jeonghan's gaze went to the empty glass you had left behind, thinking about your stories, your sword, and the signifier of your vision on your thigh. "fascinating."

you got lucky - sana had a private room for you, and said you were welcome to rent it for your stay. she said not many people were travelling to mondstadt these days, and that more often than not, the adventurer's barracks in headquarters went unused. ever since the fatui had holed up in the grand goth hotel, it had been harder for you to make extended stays in mondstadt, but it seemed that something was telling you to stick around longer than usual. you laid on the hard mattress - a feeling that was more comforting than most, thanks to your continuous travels - and thought of the charming captain that had made a night of questioning you. you wondered if he really had any interest in anything you had to say, or if he had been hoping for details about something pertinent to an investigation.

you packed a lighter bag in the morning, only bringing along the essentials as you set out for your commissions for the day. that afternoon, you wandered around mondstadt and asked questions. questions about the simultaneously well-discussed and mysterious cavalry captain that had listened to your tales of travel, and answers came easier than expected, though they didn't contain all the details you were looking for. that night, you waited up at the angel's share to brag about your newfound knowledge to the captain that never showed, and you did your best to not let that hurt your ego.

the next day, you made a detour on your way back to the city after completing your commissions, stopping by springvale to enjoy a well deserved lunch and catch up with some locals. you sat in the grass with a skewer of grilled meat, watching the windmills of mondstadt steadily spin in the distance as time passed, thinking about how rubin had asked you if you didn't like it here.

you did, you decided. mondstadt felt different than anywhere else you had been. untouched, almost. wilder. freer. despite being born in inazuma, your first memories being in celestia, or your mother being in liyue, mondstadt felt comfortable. felt like a home. you wondered to yourself what that might mean.

sana greeted you happily when you returned much later than you normally did. she told you to go ahead to the guild and come back, filing away your reports and retrieving your rewards. you dropped off your things in your rented room, quickly, practically galloping back down the steps towards the entrance of the city to continue your conversation with the adventurer guilds' mighty receptionist without your sword weighing you down. you crossed your arms on the counter, comfortably lounging as you chatted with her, having always enjoyed her conversations more than most. like rubin, she was a reason mondstadt always felt comfortable.

"fancy meeting you here," an all too familiar voice said, and you pulled your eyes from sana to find jeonghan leaning his side against the counter next to you.

"good evening, cavalry captain!" sana chirped, placing your reward - your room free already removed - on the counter and bowing politely. "can i help you with anything today?"

his icy gaze flickered from your lightly curved lips towards sana. "oh, no, my dear. i'm just coming back from an investigation near springvale"

"interesting," you said, eyeing him. "i was just there and didn't see you."

"i wouldn't be very good at my job if you did, wanderer," he grinned. "knight business, you wouldn't understand. got the assignment yesterday."

"ah," you shifted to your side to face him, making him eye the vision on your thigh. "is that why you never showed? rubin was worried."

he looked you up and down. "rubin was, huh?"

you rolled your eyes and adjusted your posture to face away from his smirk. sana looked between the two of you twice before clearing her throat as quietly as possible, making jeonghan let out a chuckle before he directed his attention to the guild's receptionist.

"how goes holding the post, sana?"

she looked almost frightened when the attention was directed back to her. "good, captain! in fact, one of our most capable adventurers-" she gestured to you, "-just returned from taking care of some of our more difficult commissions - no one else would take them."

jeonghan looked at you. "why did sana have to tell your secret?"

your eyebrows quirked upwards. "what secret?"

"that you're good at this. shouldn't you be bragging?"

a chuckle spilled from your lips, and jeonghan watched you as you looked away. "i'm not the bragging type."

he studied you a moment. "what type are you, then?"

you considered the question, wondering exactly how to answer. what type were you? if not a teller, than surely you must be a shower, but that didn't seem right either. you exhaled. "the quiet type. see you later, sana."

he laughed, pushing off the counter as you tucked your mora into your waist bag, wishing sana a good evening and following you towards the fountain. "you sure talk a lot for being the quiet type."

a smirk landed itself on your lips as he fell into step beside you. "maybe private is a better description."

"that one i can see," jeonghan said, looking over to you. he thought of how you had spent nearly an hour telling him about the best views in teyvat, yet he still didn't know the most basic information about you. "do you share your name with anyone?"

you thought. "my mother."

he scoffed. "anyone else?"

you looked to the sky. "rubin."

"wrong," he retorted. "he doesn't know your name, either."

you laughed, looking over to him as you came up to the fountain, spinning and sitting back on the ledge. "you asked?"

"of course i asked," he said, planting one foot on the ledge beside you and placing his arms on his knee. "i asked other people, too. almost everyone knows you, but they don't know anything about you. bits and pieces, but never the full picture."

you just smiled up at him from your relaxed posture on the concrete. "what's wrong with a little intrigue?"

he just smiled back at you. "nothing. i tend to keep a bit myself. did you know there's a large number of people in this city that were shocked when i said you wield a claymore?"

you hummed, dipping the tips of your fingers into the fountain. "did you know there's a large number of people in this city that consider you the most eligible bachelor in not only mondstadt, but in all of teyvat?"

his lips parted slightly as you spoke. "so you snooped, too."

"i was bored yesterday. it wasn't hard," you exhaled. you flicked a drop of water towards his foot. "jeonghan yoon, the cavalry captain of the knights of favonius since he was only nineteen. who loves wine and whose adopted brother runs the biggest winery in teyvat, yet they're hardly ever seen speaking. who comes from a far off land on a different continent, but has come to love mondstadt like it was his home. who wears an eyepatch but has never told anyone why."

he chuckled at the assessment and pulled his foot off the ledge to sit beside you. "so when do i get to learn about you?"

"i told you about me yesterday," you said.

"you told me about teyvat," he corrected. "and while i was able to infer some things about your character, i still know close to nothing about you."

you thought for a moment, realizing no one had ever noticed how little you truly shared despite always being willing to tell stories. "sometimes it feels like i am teyvat. it's hard to think of things that are just about me."

"you could start with that vision," he said, nodding at the strap across your thigh. you looked down at it, exhaling.

"what's there to tell? you know what it means, and that's more teyvat than me, too."

he leaned back on a hand, looking you up and down in curiosity. "how old were you."

you chewed your cheek. "fourteen. you?"

his lip quirked upwards. "sixteen."

you bumped his shoulder with yours playfully. "beat you."

he laughed. "how'd it happen?"

you paused. "you go first."

he just chuckled and looked away, watching a dog wander past the general store. "another day, then."

"no fun," you sighed, brushing your hands together as you leaned forward. "what about the eyepatch?"

he met your eyes, mouth slanted in a smirk. "another day."

you clicked your tongue. "if you wanna learn about me, you have to be willing to give up some details, too. i value a fair trade."

"then stop asking questions that you know i won't share the answer to." jeonghan noticed the color of the sky, then suddenly pulled a pocket watch out, checking it quickly to confirm that there was enough time and stood. "come with me?"

you stared up at him. "where?"

he grinned, extending a hand to help you to your feet. "you said mondstadt's sunsets were your favorite, correct?"

you generally weren't prone to following mysterious men into back corridors, but jeonghan easily convinced you with no words at all that sneaking around the sight line of the acting grand master was completely normal behavior, sushing you with a grin as you giggled, taking refuge around a corner after the two of you made it up to the second floor of the favonius headquarters. he tugged your hand with his, pulling you into a steep maintenance staircase behind a door.

"this feels like it's against some rules," you said, climbing the stairs behind him.

"nonsense," he said, looking back at you and grinning. "are you suggesting that a knight of favonius would break rules just to impress a mysterious traveler?"

you laughed quietly, wondering if he really meant that he wanted to impress you. "not most, but maybe this one."

he only thought for a split second. "if anyone asks, we're on official knight business."

he opened the door and you found the sky again, beginning to glow orange as the edge of the sun began to hide behind the cliffs. you stared in awe at the way the few fluffy clouds reflected pink and gold, then readjusted your focus when jeonghan spoke again.

"i hope you aren't afraid of heights," he said, walking over to the parapets that surrounded you. "the best view requires a bit of a climb."

you looked up at the tower, and while it wasn't much higher than where you stood, you also recognized that you were well above most of mondstadt already. "you climb up there?"

he paused, studying you. "we don't have to, we can just sit on a merlon-"

"no, we can climb," you said, walking over to where he was and eyeing the small gap between the parapet and the adjacent roof. "hop over?"

he laughed, stepping over the gap and holding a hand out for you. "watch your step."

and though you didn't need it, you accepted the hand anyways, and it stayed on yours as you walked over the roof to the tower, as if making sure you didn't misstep several stories in the air.

"would you like to go first?" he asked. "i'll catch you if you fall."

you rolled your eyes at him, dropping your hand from his grip. "you go first. i want to see where the handholds are."

he just grinned at you. "very well," he said, tugging on the wrists of his fingerless gloves to make sure they were taught against his skin before taking hold of a brick. you watched him as he took foothold after foothold, and he resisted the urge to show off by speedily scaling the wall in favor of making sure you had the chance to see where he gripped. when he reached the opening in the tower, he pulled himself up and spun around, exhaling with a grin as he seated himself at the ledge with his legs dangling above you.

"your turn."

you adjusted your waist bag as you sighed in amused annoyance, spinning it to be behind you and out of your hips' way to climb the wall. it wasn't much - a couple meters, maybe - and you had definitely climbed further, but jeonghan's presence made you slightly nervous. that nervousness, however, just fueled you to prove yourself.

you scaled the wall easily, making jeonghan whistle and jokingly call you some kind of adventurer, and your only hesitation came when his hand was in your face. despite your initial inclination to ignore it, you put your left hand in his, allowing him to help you pull yourself up on the ledge and sit beside him.

"impressive," he commented.

you laughed, brushing off your hands. "you, too."

"c'mon," he said, gesturing his head over his shoulder before making moves to stand. "the view's on the other side."

you sighed, looking over the view of mondstadt shrouded in golden light as he stood and walked to the other ledge. "never a moment of rest with you."

"if you want to miss the sunset, be my guest."

you leaned back on your hands and laughed, pulling your gaze away from the city to look at where jeonghan had seated himself on the other end of the tower, and subsequently the view of the rolling hills beyond him that were glowing golden in the evening sun. you blinked for a second, realizing you hadn't seen the sunset the night before, and quickly got to your feet to join him before you missed this one, too.

he gave you a soft smile when you sat beside him, and you briefly wondered how many he had in his repertoire. the wind was stronger higher, whipping gently through his hair and alleviating any uncomfortable warmth you may have had from exerting yourself on the way up. you watched the dregs of sunlight skip across the grassy hills and the sky turn deep orange and bright pink, feet swinging lightly over the edge of the tower.

"i was fighting with my brother," he said suddenly, causing you to look at him with a start before you realized he was telling you about his vision. there was a slight smile on his face as he looked out on the fields. "hyungwon. it was bad. he already had his - he's a pyro, like you - and we were both young and stupid and just lost our dad. we were sword fighting and it came to me when i needed it. it probably saved my life, honestly."

you blinked at him. "you think he would have killed you?'

he exhaled, leaning back on his hands. "i think if the roles had been reversed, i would have tried to kill him, too. i'm grateful it didn't go that way, though." he coughed abruptly, clearing his throat. "we're on speaking terms, and i do love him as a brother, but i generally avoid him."

you let that thought ruminate as you watched the sun sink, halfway beyond the horizon. "my father was in a gang in inazuma, but my mom ran away when she found out she was pregnant. didn't want to raise a kid in that world, i guess? we ran into him when i got older and he wasn't very understanding." you paused, remembering the detail too well. "they were going to take her vision. that's what they did to traitors. probably take me, too. they weren't expecting me to start setting fires."

jeonghan's gaze was on you as yours was on the horizon. "just a couple of survivors."

you looked over at him, a smirk on your lips. "a couple?"

he laughed waving at your implication, thinking he would have said the same thing in an attempt to fluster you just as you were to him. "like, more than one and less than four."

you only laughed back. "fortune favors the weak, i suppose. the archons saw we needed help and extended a fig branch."

"is that what it was?" he asked, a laugh on his lips. "we were both fighting people. that's hardly an offer of peace."

"look for the deeper meaning, jeonghan. we were fighting for our lives," you pointed out, and he realized it was the first time you had addressed him by his name rather than his title. "i was fighting for family. for freedom. is that not the greatest pursuit of peace?"

he watched you as you pulled your knees to your chest, putting your feet on the edge of the stonework surface you sat on. he studied the way the golden rays lit your skin and made your eyes sparkle. "i suppose so."

you paused in that moment for a long while, and jeonghan allowed the comfortable silence as the two of you watched the sun disappear beyond the cliffs of mondstadt. the sky was turning a deep shade of purple when you told him your name, and jeonghan thought that it was quite possibly the best news he had ever received, but he kept that joy to himself as he confirmed your name, and you rolled your eyes.

"are you gonna answer my other question now?"

he scoffed. "about the eyepatch? is it really that interesting?"

"not any more interesting than my name," you retorted.

"completely untrue," jeonghan insisted. "i've never been so excited to be told a secret, and i get told a lot of secrets."

you eyed his smile warily. "my name may be unknown, but it's no secret."

he sighed and shook his head lightly. "you really wanna know the reason i wear it? it's probably not as dramatic as you're hoping."

"yet you hide it?"

he laughed. "what's wrong with a little intrigue?"

you looked away, recognizing the parrot of your own words. "whatever you say, captain."

"no!" he whined and grabbed your arm, making you start and look at him with big eyes. "you just started calling me jeonghan, don't go back to captain."

you stared at him, only breaking to laugh, dropping your legs over the edge again. "you won't show me what's under the eyepatch, so i thought we weren't on first name basis."

his hand on your bicep was warm and gentle, but his gaze was piercing as he thought it over for a bit longer. you did your best to hold it, but you felt yourself shrinking when he quietly muttered, "go on, then."

it took you a second to register what he meant, and you reached out slowly, fingers hesitating before they brushed upon his cheekbone. jeonghan closed his eyes, resigning to your touch as you gently lifted the eyepatch. his eyes opened again, slowly, and you thought your heart might have skipped a beat.

"like chocolate," you commented, and a smile spread across his lips.

"that's the kindest reaction i've gotten."

your fingers fell upon his temple, brushing down gently as you inspected his singular brown eye. "since birth?"

he nodded, his eyes flicking down to your lips briefly before he spoke. "heterochromia. it's a characteristic of my family."

you studied his face. "not the one here?"

he sighed. "not the one here."

the icy blue of jeonghan's eye had always struck something in you. it made him mysterious. commanding. it felt like he saw more than you despite having one eye covered. but now, you felt warm. you felt his gentleness. there was comfort hidden away behind that black patch, and you told him that you understood why the cavalry captain had chosen to hide the eye he did.

but to you, he was willing to show anything that would keep you around longer, he said.

"why me?" you asked, studying his expression when he looked away. the sun had retreated behind the hills, leaving the sky a deep blue.

jeonghan didn't respond right away, and you wondered if he himself even knew the answer. "we're birds of a feather, you and i."

you looked out to the view again, watching the subtle movements of the wild hills. "did you travel much before you came here?"

"it was all i knew," he told you. "i was thirteen when my father left me here."

your neck snapped, your eyes on his profile when he leaned back on his hands. "left you?"

he almost laughed, a smile on his lips when his eyes met yours. "i was slowing him down, i suppose. hyungwon's father found me and took me in."

"so you stayed?"

"i didn't always want to," he assured you. "i had the itch to leave for years. as soon as i was able, i always told myself." he paused, eyes dropping. "then father died. then hyungwon turned down his position with the knights. and i was their second choice."

you pursed your lips. "you stayed for a job."

he laughed. "it's not that simple."

you smiled at him, enjoying the warmth of his eyes on yours as the sky cooled. "are you sure we're birds of a feather?"

"listen," he said, getting off his hands and brushing them off on his thighs. "i accepted the job so that i could set the story straight. i didn't want to run from the people that believed that hyungwon tried to kill me to avenge our father."

you studied him. "i'm sorry."

"don't be," he said, nudging your shoulder. "i was still planning on leaving, but then i fell in love."

you looked away, trying to sort out the way your stomach flipped. "are they still around?"

"not with a person," he laughed, then nodded towards the now dark hills. "with the views. besides, i get free reign whenever i leave for missions. i have fun adventuring, and come home to the best sunsets in teyvat. there are worse places to call home."

your eyes scanned the horizon, remembering the brilliant rays of sun you had just seen skip across it. "that is tempting."

"how tempting?" he asked.

you thought on that for a moment. "almost as much as a death after noon right now."

jeonghan laughed, slightly proud that he had hooked you on his favorite drink. "shall we go see rubin, then?"

you hummed, smiling at the captain. "as long as i don't have to sit alone again."

"that's a promise," he told you as he stood, holding out a hand that you took without hesitation, though he withheld his intention to make sure you were never alone again.

[anewbeginningagain]

I have a question, since I didn’t follow that stream: weren’t those commentators the same as always? Or were they other new ones?

OK so let's dissect the commentating debacle (I should warn that some of my opinions might not be that popular) since I got many asks about it.

British Eurosport has had three pretty iconic figure skating commentators: Nicky Slater, Simon Reed, and Chris Howarth. Nicky is a former ice dancer, Chris was a single skater and later a coach, and I'm not sure what's Simon experience. All three have been with British Eurosport since sometime in the 80s I think (they were for sure there in the 90s) and are in their sixties. For the most part in the last decade, it has been Simon and Chris doing skating commentary for Eurosport (Nicky hasn't been around for a long time imo) and for about two seasons Mark Hanretty joined the commentating team (2015/16 and 2016/17) and for the past two seasons, they are also added Louise Walden (former ice dancer) to their team as well.

Focusing on this quad, ISU started streaming skating events internationally in the 2019/20 season. At first, it had no commentators and then they added them to major events (GPF, Europeans, 4CC) and then to all competitions. Up until this Worlds the feed only featured one commentator, and so far they used Simon, Chris, Mark, and a 4th commentator whose name I can't recall but was by far the worst of them all (I'll dig it up later).

This time and for the first time the ISU international feed featured two commentators - Simon and Nicky, which to me was a surprise since not only do they usually have only one commentator, Nicky hasn't commentated skating for a really long time which makes it odd to have this be his first skating commentating gig after a while.

And now let's pause for some unpopular opinions. I have a really big soft spot for the three BESP commentators, growing up BESP was the only skating coverage I could get so I basically grew up with their commentary and while it was always flawed it was also very supportive of the skaters, pretty knowledgeable, and extremely enthusiastic and full of love for skating. All three of them did some of my favorite commentary about Tessa and Scott all the way back to when they were just debuting as seniors and all through their careers. The issue is that while they so fit the requirements of the type of commentary you'll have on a sports channel, they are (relatively speaking) not a good fit for the international crowd, and especially the current skating fandom. Some of the reasons are valid, they are not doing enough research, they are not always up to date with the latest developments in the sport, and in a time when every avid skating fan can do pretty comprehensive research online, they often feel dated. At the same time, the current skating fandom holds them to a pretty ridiculous standard imo, I'm going to be blunt here, but I never expected them to refer to Tim LeDuc while using the correct pronounces. Perhaps I have low expectations and I'm definitely generalizing here for the most part, but I also have enough relatives in their 60s to know that they are not in a level of knowledge and understanding to be able to understand the current norms regarding gender and identity. And I think that it's one area where they should be given the benefit of the doubt. At the same time, their comments yesterday about missing the Russian skaters were also interpreted in the wrong way imo, to me it felt like they referred to it in the context of skating and not in the context of the war or supporting Russia in any way.

So now that I played the devil's advocate let's talk about yesterday. Simon and Nicky were commentating on the ISU feed (Chris and Louise are on the BESP feed and doing phenomenal work tbh, their coverage today of Ivan Shmuratko from Ukraine was a class act and brought tears to my eyes). From the start, Nicky was too loose with his tongue and it felt a bit unprofessional. During the two events they covered (Ladies SP, Pairs SP) they made some comments that were a bit much but not all of them were too bad. But it got worse as the day went on and some of the comments they made were completely out of line. Listening to them I knew fs Twitter is probably reading them apart (again some of the criticism was justified and some exaggerated for me), but when the pairs SP event ended the feed stayed on and it picked up Simon referring to someone as "a Canadian bitch" and Nicky laughing, later we realized it was about Meagan Duhamel. That got serious backlash and deservingly so, it got so big that CBC, Phil Hersh, and others reached out to the ISU for comment. It ended up with Simon and Nicky being dropped and Ted Barton being called in to commentate (how they managed that in less than 12 hours I have no idea) and the ISU issuing this statemtn:

And Meagan herself posted this:

ISU are clearly saying they won’t work with Simon or Nicky again (tbh I’m conflicted about it but that’s on me) which pretty much leaves Chris and Mark to cover all ISU events and since Chris is sometimes busy with BESP and Mark has his own things sometimes, ISU might need a new roster of commentators, which tbh there’s a very short list of people currently up for the task. So it will be interesting to see how the ISU solves this issue for next season’s coverage. Generally peaking, Mark Hanretty is definitely the best current skating commentator, but I’m not sure he can carry an entire season of commentator. We’ll have to wait and see I guess.

[berena-cpr]

Unfinished Masterpieces - Fic Rec List

Remember the WIP on ao3 you can’t let go? The one that resonated with you? The one that you’d give anything to know how it ends?

While the Berena Creative Project Resuscitation event is all about starting to work again on projects sitting in our draft folders, life can get in the way of finishing a project for a hundred reasons.

These works, posted, but still a few chapters short of ending, are loved though and with this list we’d like to share the love for the unfinished masterpieces one can find in the Berena tag on ao3.

Given the high response we had when we asked to tell us about your favourite WIPs, you’ll find the list under the cut:

Anything Else to Declare? - LittleMissO

“I've personally had sleeping issues since I read LittleMissO's Anything Else to Declare because yeah, I'm still there, breath held and heart pounding like crazy after the most delicious slow burn, and pining, and that outrageously flirtatious conversation over a whiskey.”

that line between your heart and mine - ktlsyrtis

“it is just plain hot but also I love the idea of them writing letters to each other and I also love the exploration of what their relationship might be like with Bernie still being in the RAMC.”

you disappear like your cigarette smoke (now the taste of your kiss is all that remains) - bonnissance

“A wonderful, emotional angst filled fic, looking at how Bernie’s life might still have progressed after Serena left. I loved how it showed her testing her own boundaries to see if it was possible to find another relationship with someone else and when she found that wasn’t something she could do, she accepted it and found other ways to be happy without Serena. I reread it fairly often because although unfinished it doesn’t ever seem incomplete. But the last word “Serena” always leaves me full of a hope that I would dearly love to have fulfilled.”

Secrets in the Dark - Wonko

“I’d love to see this continued!”

For a Good Time Call - Regency

“Young Serena using that pure sex voice of hers to make a little extra as a phone sex operative, and young nervous Bernie taking the first tentative steps in exploring her sexuality. Who better than Serena to help her figure things out? The premise of the fic is ingenious, the writing amazing, the dialogue just outstanding. Hot, sexy, soft and full of compassion and feels. I would sell a kidney to read the next chapter to this – Bernie and Serena meeting years later and recognising each other’s voices.”

you're the only one I never looked for - gutsandglitter

“Never expected I'd enjoy a Baby Boom AU, but I love this fic. Serena hanging out in the country feeling extremely overwhelmed and constantly running into this weird tall, awkward woman named Bernie is a mood. I will forever hold out hope for an update so that I can someday read about them having lots of sex (after an appropriate amount of angst, miscommunication, and unexpected grocery store encounters, of course).”

Things Kayryn doesn't write - Kayryn

“So they’re not exactly unfinished, because they are complete, beautifully crafted, amazingly inventive, head canons, but they’re not completed fic’s so I’m counting them. I actually think that’s one of the lovely things about them, there’s a full story in there but enough space in them to bring your own imagination to the details. The fact that every head canon is spot on and you can completely image it happening is the icing on the cake, and the perfect characterisation is the cherry on top. Canon could have taken lessons from from Kayryn”

I Want to be Your Fantasy (Maybe You Could Be Mine) - Regency

“I just love the concept and the first chapter just pulled me in and I so very much want to know what happens next.”

Notting Hill - Bat_and_Breakfast

“All the “Rom Com idiots in love but they don’t know it miscommunication capers” re-envisaged for Berena you say? Sign me up! I love the way the plot of Notting Hill is absolutely recognisable, but never at the expense of Bernie and Serena’s characters. Everything they do, their responses, the dialogue, is so them. And the cleverly cast Holby regulars as supporting stars - genius. It’s an absolute triumph of transformative work. It’s wonderfully and engagingly written. If you’ve ever got sucked into watching “just a bit” of rom com and found you’ve just lost a couple of hours of your life - this fic does the same thing.”

Follow Me There - troiing

“Full disclosure: I’ve never watched Sanctuary and I know nothing about the characters. But this crossover fic is so good, that it doesn’t even matter.”

hold me closer (tiny dancer) - serenacampbell

“I don’t know why I’m so attached to that fic, but I am. I love the premise of a slow burn fic where the characters still get to do sexy things during the awkward slow burn oblivious period. It’s like the best of both worlds.”

Machu Pechinku - Jrnsaxa

“Forget France and Nepal, what if Serena spent her sabbatical in Peru? The setting in this is beautifully vivid, as is the the delicate ways in which Serena and Bernie start to reconnect after Elinor.”

Hello, Major - lesbianquill

“This is a near perfect Serena being fixated on Bernie in fatigues fic. The first chapter is very insightful, helping us to understand why Bernie might not be happy to accede to Serena’s small kink/obsession. That of course doesn’t last for too long because Bernie loves Serena and she loves having sex with Serena. It was offered as a smutty one shot, but then they rewarded us with an even smuttier second chapter and teased us with the news that a third chapter would be forthcoming. It never happened. Main reason for wishing it could be continued? I enjoy well-written smut.”

In the Spirit of Three Stars - alwayssomethingelse

“Bernie and Serena as Federation officers on Deep Space Nine. Oh, the potential!”

Anatomically Correct - phantomunmasked

“Bernie severely overcompensating for any possible awkwardness in their first time by ordering a mountain of sex toys is a premise that will always delight me. Every time I go back to this one, I ponder what their weekend away would bring with a big grin.”

The Clinic - RexWolfe

“Maybe it’s all the Bramwell we’ve been watching, but this one’s been on my mind lately. Can’t go wrong with a Victorian AU.”

a life in pictures - Regency

"I soooo want to see Serena maybe modelling for Bernie (or at least just how the date goes)”

working up a storm inside my head - sevtacular

“While this isn’t actually an unfinished fic in the sense of chapters missing, the prompt fic collection of Sev can always be added to as far as I’m concerned. Love what has been written so far, hope there will be new chapters with time.”

Body and Soul - ChalkHillBlue

“Possibly the weirdest AU idea ever, this body swap AU makes my brain go crazy with the possibilities every time I read it.”

When We Need One Another The Most - Whispersmummy

“I know this isn’t strictly Berena but it wouldn’t have been written if not for the Berena fandom who love most every conceivable way these two dorks might get together. Very well written (imo) and cleverly constructed fic. Lots and lots of angst and who doesn’t love angst? Only thing missing is a small amount of smut. (Yes I’m back there).”

Ring In The New - fiveroundsrapid

“Fics where Bernie comes to Holby before/during Adrienne’s illness are my kryptonite, and this one is so good!”

Holby One: A Star Wars AAU Story - elitryalittle

“Holby One is my favorite unfinished fic. It’s not just because I came to Berena via Star Wars (a bit of an unusual way, but here I am), but also because I can totally see Serena as a healer and Bernie as a Jedi knight. Kudos for their excellent knowledge of the SWU and this great idea of a crossover fic. I’d give them a limited edition “Looking for Leia” patch and a sticker if they’d finish it.”

to gaze at you, from afar (I sigh, I sigh, I sigh) - bonnissance

“The photographer/model AU you never knew you needed in your life, but you really, really do.”

Heroic Endeavor - Nicolaruth27

“I never would’ve thought I’d be down for a Greek god AU, but this fic has permanent residence in a corner of my brain. Bernie as Athena in mortal form is inspired, and the way the fic is interwoven with canon is a delight.”

what a lovely way to burn - ktlsyrtis

“I just love anything that's weaved into canon but with them being happy and dating and communicating."

Love, Unexpected - Igerna

“Bernie is still married to Marcus when she meets Serena during a conference. They immediately bond and keep in contact, sharing both professional advice and thoughts on their private lives. Love, for them, happens rather unexpectedly. I do love conference fics and slow burns - and this is a good one.”

a little less war torn - kitnkabootle

“The setup for this - in which Serena is the one who goes to help when Bernie is brought to Holby, instead of Raf - is one of my favorite ‘what ifs’ to ponder, and the writing is outstanding.”

[cassiaa]

Metanoia BTTB2

warnings: asking for sex; mentions of sex; manipulating; slight seducing and mentions of seduction; alcohol;

All of Namjoon's muscles clenched immediately, his body taut as a bowsting.

She didn't elaborate or explain. She stared directly into his eyes with that fire of hers smoldering and waiting for an answer.

Was she really looking for some quick fuck? Was this what had her down that past two hours? Or was this her way of distracting herself from the real problem at hand?

From what Namjoon had dug up, his sweet little jagi was exactly that, sweet and innocent. She didn't party, only drank on special occasions, he could only guess had never done drugs from her perfect school records and she hadn't been allowed to date or go out with strange boys.

Her fathers leash was tight around her neck, it had made his blood boil when he came to that conclusion.

That was another thing he'd be changing soon, he would take the studded choker off her neck and place his own there. His was much softer, much more loose, allowed more freedom and gave her even more luxuries that she already possessed.

Namjoon had no immediate plans of denying her, though he did want to know exactly where this came from, so he could make sure she wouldn't be out propositioning to just any pathetic little boys she could meet. He was more than willing to fuck her to her little hearts desire. Until all she knew was him, until she couldn't form any coherent sentences, let alone remember her own name. His was all she'd be able to say by the time he was done with her. He'd make sure to fuck her so good she would know better than to run to anyone else for something only he could provide her.

With those thoughts that had his mind racing and muscles coiling, ready to pounce, he smoothed his expression into slight confusion, maybe a bit of amusement in there and calmly said, "excuse me?"

"Really?" She nearly rolled her eyes. "You don't seem dense to me. Maybe I was wrong." She huffed, finally breaking eye contact, looking rather annoyed and mostly with herself. He could see the warring behind her eyes.

"Do you often go up to people asking them for sex?" Namjoon asks calmly, one side of his mouth kicking up as he leans back in his chair, exuding power. His movement drew her gaze back to him, and she unconsciously bit her bottom lip and Namjoon felt low growl hum in his throat at that combined with her innocent expression and the way she shifted in her seat. He just knew she was getting turned on already. He'd have to work hard not to break her.

Her eyes widened, no doubt hearing the noise and finally she answers. "No-"

"Then why approach a random man and ask for sex?" As he spoke, he leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table, his hands clasped in front of his mouth and glasses slipping down his nose just a bit. It didn't help the heated gaze he pinned on her. "This isn't a club," he added when he saw her swallow, it seemed she didn't know what to do with his full attention on her. He'd remedy that quickly, his angel always had his attention, even when it seemed she didn't. "Or a bar. Why here? Why now?.... why me?"

Her eyes dropped to his lips as his voice dipped lower and quieter with every word.

"If you don't want to do it," she paused, trying to regain the control of the situation that she thought she had, taking a breath and steeling herself, eyes losing a bit of that glassy glaze they developed. "Then you don't have to. I'll just go to either of those places and find someone who will. Can't be that hard."

She said it with a bratty attitude that Namjoon instantly found arousing and annoying in the same moment and his mind immediately supplied a dozen ways to make her lose it.

Annoyed, she stood and slid out of the booth, not expecting him to follow. He did, smoothly and with much more elegance. A closed off look on his face as he rebuttoned his suit jacket. He dwarfed her in size, she looked between five three or five four in her flat shoes. In shock, she took in his appearance, seemingly appraising him and liking what she saw as her eyes lit up and she swallowed again.

"Shall we?" He asked stepping close enough to her to invade her personal space, past what social etiquette deemed fit, but not far enough to be overly intrusive and scare her or make a scene. Out of the corner of his eye he had been watching the cook and the waitress, an older couple who seemed protective of his jagi. They had kept an eye on her the entire time, the older woman had held a short conversation with his jagi when she first came in and the woman had even brushed back Ava's hair during the course of her meal. His jagi hadn't shown any signs of being uncomfortable with the motherly gesture so Namjoon had let it be. But the way that they watched him with such distrust, Namjoon was debating on whether or not they'd need to be dealt with or not. If they wouldn't become a problem for him down the road he could maybe even use them.

Ava nods slowly. Almost disbelieving that what she had asked for she was getting. "My place or yours?"

Namjoon was a bit disappointed that she was offering her own bed to a stranger, but perhaps she felt safer there instead of trapping herself in an unknown place. Namjoon couldn't follow the knowledge (or lack there of) that she was using to make the decision.

But he knew she lived alone. No chef, no maid or any help of any kind, no security, other than what her building supplied at the main entrances. It was easy for him to get to her personal space, but that meant it was easy for others too.

Her father was a fool, he had made many enemies in his time in the illegitimate side of his business, and once again Namjoon felt his dislike for the man swelling deeply at his negligence. He broke his thoughts, paying for his drink and tipping generously. He gestured with a hand for them to go and placed a hand to her back that was neither too low or too high. If she was having second thoughts, he didn't want to scare her into running. He'd really have to woo her.

"I'm only in town for the weekend," Namjoon supplied, opening the door for her and stepping close enough for his jacket to brush against her as they exited together. "I'm staying at the Baccarat Hotel in Manhattan-"

"My place then." She interrupted. "I'd rather not be seen going into that hotel with you. It looks... bad." She carried off, fingers playing with the hem of her babydoll dress.

Namjoon nods, humming his approval. His smart girl. She was protecting her image, their were plenty of reporters that hung out near the richer hotels. And Namjoon only stayed at the best. She must've pieced together that he was well enough off by the way he dressed and the hotel he was staying in.

"Lead the way." His grin was perhaps a bit to sharp as she looked up at him with big round eyes.

He had to act as if he had never been near her place of dwelling though, so even as she seemed to take the long way he didn't correct or give any hints that he was on to her as he made polite conversation the whole way. In fact, he was soaking up all he could from this time he had with her, he wanted to build a relationship with her. One that was more than just sex- though that was something he did look forward to. She was quick to offer up her first name. But not her family name. Ava. He acted politely, as if it was brand new information and then he offered his whole name just as readily. She repeated it carefully and Namjoon's body reacted to his name falling from her pretty pink lips, and he didn't stop the sudden urge to press his lips to hers in a heated kiss as they were stopped on a crosswalk at an intersection. He swooped down to her height, the hand on her back crushing her chest tightly to his and his free hand wrapping around the side her slender neck as she gasped and their lips met. Her neck was small enough for his thumb to tilt her jaw up and for his fingers to cup the back of her neck entirely and pull her face even closer as he dominated her mouth swiftly making it a bit more passionate and stealing all her breath away.

He pulled away from the heated kiss first, leaving her clutching his front and gasping for air. Her eyes went down immediately and Namjoon watched with a growing smile as she tried to compose herself.

He dipped close enough for his lips to touch her ear and whispered, "shall we?"

Everywhere his lips or breath touched rippled with goose bumps right away and he admired the skin their, how smooth and creamy it looked. He couldn't wait to mark it up. He placed a sweet kiss to her ear, humming in satisfaction when a shiver went down her body.

It didn't take long before they were in her penthouse. Namjoon had found deep in many, many files that the penthouse was a gift from her father on her eighteenth birthday. A bit of freedom for her so long as she obeyed. Namjoon had already had Taehyung and Hoseok sweep the place for any sort of bugs that could've been hidden. Namjoon took in the room with out rudely intruding. He eyed the entrance in distaste. It was a bit of an annoyance and disgust that Americans didn't remove their shoes upon entry into their homes. They walked all over their messy cities and then tracked it through their house. He wondered how he could convince her to abandon that habit.

"Make yourself comfortable I suppose." She said, heading into the kitchen, "feel free to look around." She shrugged, not looking over her shoulder.

Namjoon shook his head, his smart girl could be so naive. She just invites a strange man into her home all alone (for sex no less) and tells him to 'make himself at home'. It was clear she had never brought anyone home with her before. He grinned again, taking in the rooms slowly, even though he truly already knew the place inside and out. He did take more time to look in depth at the pictures on the wall and on each table. His beautiful jagi. He grinned. His innocent virgin baby girl. He had no doubts at this point that she was a virgin. And with the way her body reacted to his touch, he doubted anyone had ever touched her at all.

He found her pouring a glass of dark alcohol that she pulled up to drink quickly. Not seeing or hearing his approach, she was shocked when he pulled the glass from her hand, giving an amused expression and raising a brow in question. Her eyes narrowed in what seemed to be annoyance or perhaps defiance as her eyes flickered to the bottle on the counter. Namjoon once again wanted to rid her of the brattiness. He took off his glasses slowly, folding them closed and setting them beside the drink before caging her against the counter and overwhelming her with just his presence alone. He waited a moment, for her to push him away or tell him no, and when she didn't he leaned down and connected their lips in the softest touch he could manage. He didn't make any move to deepen the kiss, or escalate it in any way. He just moved his lips softly against hers. Coaxing her into the kiss until she was breathless again before he pulled back. He smirked proudly at what he had managed to do to her with just a kiss. Her chest was heaving as she worked on slowing her breathing, and it took her a moment before she opened her eyes, they were clouded and it had Namjoon humming in satisfaction.

"I need you sober, baby." He said softly, voice smooth as velvet as he cupped her jaw gently, he stroked a thumb over her cheek as he spoke. "If you don't want to do this you need to tell me now...." her eyes focused a bit at that, the hand that had tangled in his jacket gripped a little tighter, unconsciously begging for him already. "Once I start I'm not sure I'll be able to stop, beautiful." He added slowly, with a light nip to her ear.

He kissed the skin under it gently at first, a light peck before moving down a bit, kiss by kiss until he found her soft spot and started sucking and biting. He kept it more lips and tongue rather than teeth, knowing she wasn't ready for anything too rough. He was going to take such good care of his jagi. The breathy moan she released accompanied with the death grip she had on his jacket and arm had him grinning in her neck. "Are you ready jagi?"

She was whining low and needy, nodding her head and not letting go of him as he pulled up and stood straight. He unbuttoned his jacket, shrugging it off his shoulders and her hands fall away from him. He held her in place with nothing but his gaze alone.

"Always use your words," he instructed, folding the jacket in half and setting it down with care. "When I speak to you, I expect an answer."

His sweetheart nodded at first before stuttering out an 'okay'. He tugged her hand, having her stand and helping her take off her own jacket. "Where's your room jagi?" He asks, hiding his grin until she turned to lead the way. He squeezed her hand a bit. "Words angel."

"My room is up the stairs and down this hall." She supplied quickly, eager to please him, "along with my office, and my closet and bathroom. Down the other hall is two guest rooms, a sitting room and another bathroom."

Namjoon made a noise in the back of his throat, nodding his approval and gripping her hip as they went. Her room only held a bed, a very big bed, a chair in the middle of the room facing the floor to ceiling windows and a bedside table. Though she did have a pair of panties and a night dress thrown against the wall but neither cared as Namjoon spun her around, both hands against her waist and kissing her again. She gripped his arm and neck, excited and wanting more but Namjoon was prepared to take his time. He was going to have her begging for him before all her clothes were even off, and considering she only had on a few items it would be a challenge. But one he was more than willing to take head on. He sucked another mark into her neck, loving the way her head fell back and she moaned. It was going to be a long and beautiful night, he grinned.

[boxofbadaddiction]

Claw Marks

Remus Lupin

No Pairing

Reader Insert - Gender Neutral.

Imagine: Remus finding out one of his students is a Werewolf.

Warnings: IDK...werewolves?

He hadn't picked up on it at first, too occupied with keeping his own 'condition' a secret and, more importantly, under control.

Remaining unknowingly oblivious to the subtle signs they'd been showing.

How fidgety and agitated they'd become around the time of the full moon, often lashing out for no reason - even at close friends. How they seemed incapable of staying awake during breakfast or morning classes. Of the often many fresh cuts that littered their skin. All signs went unnoticed.

Until one fateful day when it all seemed to crash over him like a bucket of ice water.

The class started as normal as any other Thursday; with the exception of Y/n needing to be awoken at their desk.

A sharp jab to their elbow was enough to send their arm off balance, chin falling from it's place against their palm, the sudden drop of y/ns head waking them with a slight fright.

"Thank you for that, Miss Bell. Good Morning, Y/n. I do wish you'd save all sleeping for Professor Binns class rather than before I've even begun my lesson." Remus says sarcastically. "Sorry Professor." Y/n mumbled in reply sitting at attention. "Excellent. Although thankfully, given today's topic, I don't believe any of you will be at risk of nodding off."

The class shared an amused chuckle while y/n merely managed a tight lipped smile.

There was a brief knock at the door as Professor Flitwick and Mr Filch entered the room with a large, rattling, wardrobe.

"Perfect timing!" Lupin spoke as the cupboard was deposited at the front of the class and the students were made to stand as the teachers cleared all their desks to the sides of the room. "Today, class, we will be learning about Boggarts."

After a quick introduction of what a Boggart is and how to repel one, the students were made to form a line. As the music carried out it's loud melody and their turn inevitably drew near y/ns body filled with dread.

They hesitated, not wanting to step any closer to the creature in fear their secret be revealed, but with a nudge from the person behind them and encouragement from Professor Lupin they did.

The Boggart took it's time analysing the new arrival before finally transforming. In it's place now stood a great snarling beast with glowing yellow eyes and gruesome, bared, teeth.

Y/n froze. As did many members of the class all of whom drew a sharp breath at the sight. It were truly terrifying.

Y/ns expression bore one of pure fear. Face turning pale as the blood rushed from their head. Shock took over Lupin as well, not having expected one of his students to produce a nightmare quite so frightening. The nightmare he were forcibly living.

Remus took a step forward readying to intervene as he noted the way y/ns wand arm shook in fear.

But to his surprise, with their eyes squeezing tightly shut and head turning back over their shoulder, y/n shouts quickly "Ridikulus!" casting the charm.

The approaching beast is suddenly changed; now in a vivid pink tutu, aimlessly cycling in circles on a miniature tricycle, the image completed by a multicoloured party hat upon it's head.

The previously stunned class erupts into a fit of laughter. The sound filling y/n with enough courage to look back at the scene playing out before them. An astonished and relieved sigh falls from their mouth before joining in and laughing with the class.

Lupin is beyond impressed, barely able to contain his excitement he yells, "BRILLIANT, Y/n! Truly brilliant! NEXT!" His joy however, is short lived as all that previous worry that'd clouded his mind is brought rushing back.

Y/n spun excitedly in place, smiling widely, their robes shifting with the momentum to reveal a large scar from the base of their neck, presumably, stretching right along to their shoulder as it traced their collarbone. Claw marks. Unmistakably - claw marks.

Lupins face drops briefly before he's quickly painting back on a fake smile. After that the signs weren't so subtle anymore.

Not wanting to get ahead of himself and draw wrong conclusions he confronts Dumbledore with his suspicions.

"Headmaster, I wondered if I might be able to have a word?"

"Of course, Remus. You may have more than one if you so desire." Dumbledore responds from his place at his desk, looking down over his half-moon glasses with a grin.

"It's about a student of my 5th year class...y/n y/l/n?" "Ah, yes." Lupin watches Albus expectantly but he does not continue so Remus does, "I couldn't help but notice they possess certain qualities that are remarkably similar to my own." Dumbledore nods in acknowledgement but remains silent. "Would I be out of my depth in assuming they-that they're..." "like you are?" The Headmaster finishes for him. Remus swallows thickly as he watches him intently.

"You would not. Be out of depth, that is. Y/n is indeed a Werewolf."

Remus takes a deep breath. He knew he was right in his assumptions but to hear it be confirmed is a different thing entirely. Like a truth one would never hope to be true. A flood of emotions overtakes him; some shock. Sympathy and sadness - as he knows what they are going through. And quite a bit of anger towards the man infront of him.

"You didn't think it necessary to inform me of this?" He glares. "That would have been against their, and their parents, wishes. When they told me of y/ns condition they were adamant in no one else knowing - less word spread, I agreed to respect their wish so I couldn't tell you. Were you to discover this on your own however-" "so you've just been sitting around waiting for me to piece the puzzle together?" "To be frank, Remus, I'm rather surprised it took you this long."

Anger and frustration are bubbling over in Lupin at this point as he turns his back on Albus. It's taking all his strength not to lash out at the old man like he desperately wants to.

"They're taking necessary precautions, Remus, if that is what's troubling you." "No, Headmaster. What's troubling me is that they are suffering with this condition on their own." He speaks through gritted teeth. "Yes, I have an idea of how unpleasant it must be." That comment alone pushes Remus' temper to it's limit.

"With all due respect, Albus..." he turns back to face him with daggers held behind his eyes, "you have no idea. You could not possibly imagine the difficulty of enduring the effects of lycanthropy - especially not at such a young age."

"Do you forget who assisted you in your transformations during school?"

"I do not, Professor. Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs helped me through every full moon. Although you may have offered a place to do so safely, you did not assist me in my change. It were James, Sirius and Peter who were there for me. And if what you say is true - that you are the only person in this school who knows - y/n doesn't even have that. A fact of which I am truly sorry for."

Not waiting for a response Remus storms from Dumbledores office.

As the next full moon approaches Remus prepares himself for the night. Locking himself in his office and drinking the Wolfsbane potion Severus prepared for him to make the change a little easier.

As the sun sets for the day he watches as the final rays disappearing beneath the horizon paint the Black Lake in brilliant hues of gold and cream. It's a picture perfect scene when something suddenly draws his attention.

A student decending into the forbidden forest. Y/n.

His body urges him to follow, but in little time he'll be in no position to offer help and, given the fact his theories have been proven correct, y/n will be in no state to accept.

When morning dawns he resumes his place by the window, mind fixed on only one thing. One person. The same person whom he witnesses hobbling back out of the forest along the very path they'd entered.

That day he calls y/n into his office and explains everything. How he found out. How he's the same. How he can help.

Y/n breaks down in front of him. Years of carrying this weight on such young shoulders finally met it's peak and took it's toll.

That night Remus offers Y/n the goblet of Wolfsbane to make the transition a little easier. It'll be the first time they get to change without suffering an excruciating amount of pain. It'll also be the first time in months Remus will be forced to endure it.

The change that night as the moon rises would be different than any before...

"Remus, have you taken your potion tonight?" Sirius grips his shoulders tightly as he speaks the words frantically. "You know the man you truly are, Remus. This heart is where you truly lie. This heart here." Padfoot beats against Moonys chest as he watches his features slowly morph into the grotesque creature that forever lurkes within.

All words are dull in Remus' ears as the pain blinds his senses and he feels himself start to lose control.

The image of Y/n is the last thing to flash before his eyes and at least his mind is eased in the knowledge that, for the first time, their transformation will be bearable.

A final comforting thought before the beast inevitably takes over.

[marsbutterfly]

The Scientist’s Gamble - Part 1

Summary:  "Attention! Commander Erwin has sent me here today with an announcement! In exactly one month an expedition will take place outside the walls!", Moblit pauses for a second, paying close attention to the reactions in front of him. "The goal of this mission will be..."

Note:  I would like to thank my amazing wife for editing this fic for me, I know it wasn't easy and I love her very much. She has been nothing but supportive from the very beginning and her help is extremely appreciated as I try to find own my writing style in a whole different language. She's amazing and I'm very lucky to have her in my life!

Next Chapter

AO3 Version! | Wattpad Version!

"Wait... So we're going outside the walls to capture a titan so that Squad Leader Hanji can experiment on it?" someone asks from the back of the room.

"Well... Yes, but it's for the good of humanity," Moblit says while he holds the bridge of his nose. The expression on his face tells you that he did not agree with this, but he is willing to give it a go so long as life inside the walls could take its next step towards the truth. "The Commander has given his OK, so this operation will be moving forward. Now, how she managed to convince him to agree to this is beyond me..." His voice disappears as he walks out of the room, all the while scribbling on his clipboard.

As soon as his silhouette is out of sight, the room starts to fill with murmurs.

"That's such a waste of resources!"

"We should be out there killing titans, not this!"

From your spot in the corner of the room, you begin to write in your journal everything you might need to prepare for the expedition, such as a new training schedule and what arrangements would need to be done.

"Y/N?" says a disembodied voice, startling you a bit and pulling you away from your to-do list. "Y/N? Are you in there?"

You look up to see Eren waving his hand in front of your face, almost failing to catch your attention.

"Oh, I'm sorry," you say, not looking at him, and not really sorry. "What were you saying?"

He laughs. "You really are hopeless. Would you like to come train with us?" He gestures at the Cadet group as they walk out the door.

"Oh, not today," you say, "I need to head back to my room to collect some of my notes and deliver them to my Squad Leader. I wouldn't want our next expedition to be delayed, you know!" Although you try your best to remain serious, the enthusiasm in your voice is undeniable.

He rolls his eyes and allows his lips to curl into a smirk, "We'll catch up with you later then!" he says while walking towards the door and just like that, you're alone in the classroom. Packing your things, you make your way out. You read the notes in your hands as you walk, making sure you only need to make one quick stop before heading toward the lab.

Once in your room, you look underneath every book, paper, and pile of clothes. You try your best to find your notes on titan deterioration, but quickly realize they are nowhere to be found.

Did you not bring them back after the last expedition? No, you remember seeing them just a couple of days ago. Could they be with old reports? No, you just checked. Did someone take them? At that moment, you realize that just may be what happened. After what happened with Annie Leonhardt, you didn't know who you could trust, and as a result, you've been being extremely careful not to misplace your paperwork.

Yet somehow your most important piece of work is missing. Slowly but surely, panic sets in. "What will I tell Squad Leader Hanji? I don't want to disappoint her," you mutter, taking a deep breath. Panicking won't help right now, so you do your best to pull yourself together, and gather all the other papers you need before making your way towards the lab.

You knock on the lab door rather loudly a couple of times.

"Come in!" Your heart skips a beat at the sound of her voice calling from the inside of the room. You open the door slowly, remembering past instances of her dropping glass beakers when startled. Luckily Hanji is just sitting at her desk, writing reports. Likely about the most recent past expedition, probably where she got the idea of capturing yet another titan to serve as her experiment. At least that would give Eren a little bit of a break. He really needs it.

"Squad Leader Hanji, I brought you all the data I've collected about titans from previous expeditions. The most common sizes, our studies on abnormal..." Your hearts speeds up as you notice her looking at you, but you can't bring yourself to face her as you speak again. "I can't seem to find the papers about their deterioration. All the details we've collected seem to be lost. I'm so sorry, and I'll keep looking for it. If I can't find it until tonight, I'll write you a new report from memory, I swear." You can feel her eyes on you, and it gets a little harder to breathe. Your lungs try their best to keep up with the speed of your rambling.

"Well, Y/N," Hanji says, getting closer as she walks towards you. Tears of frustration well in your eyes, and you expect the worst. You worked so hard to become her assistant, to earn this. The thought of it all going wrong would be enough to break you. You're vaguely aware of her rifling through papers on her desk.

"It's alright, dear! I have them right here. You must have forgotten them here last night. I reminded you to grab them but you seemed to be in quite a hurry." Hanji could sense the uneasiness coming from her assistant, her face softening as she pulls you into a hug, and it's desperately what you need at that moment. You breathe a sigh of relief now that you know you didn't mess this up. At least not this time.

You let your mind wander to last night. You had spent hours copying the indiscernible scribble-scratch of Hanji's field notes. You think of how you called her over to translate a particularly messy section, and you think of the way she gently touched your arm before her hand slid along your skin as she reached for the pen. The hairs on your body instantly rose, and combined with the chills going down your spine, you couldn't help the embarrassment that flooded through you. Before she could've said anything, you got up and ran, wishing her a hasty goodnight on your way out.

Your cheeks burn. No wonder you misplaced your papers.

But realization hit you; Hanji has her arms around you in a warm and comforting embrace. She's holding you, cradling you. The heat in your cheeks spread across your entire face, a dark shade of red replacing your usual skin tone. One of the reasons you wanted to be her assistant in the first place was to spend time with her. Your crush on Hanji isn't something new and has never been a secret. Everyone seems to know about it... except Hanji herself.

"Are you all right? Your heart is beating so fast," Hanji says, breaking the silence between you two. She pokes two fingers against your neck to feel the pulse, but you swat her hand away. You quickly pull away while looking in the other direction, hoping she doesn't notice your embarrassment.

"I'm fine, Squad Leader! Do you need my help with anything today?" you say, gathering enough strength to sound like you aren't melting before her eyes.

"Not for now. Over the course of the next few weeks, I'll be mostly filling out paperwork and preparing the lab to receive our new visitor," she beams, and the stars in her paired eyes with the excitement in her voice is more than enough to bring a smile to your face.

Hanji grabs your shoulders. "All I need is for you to study our past discoveries, but mostly prepare yourself for all the new ones we're about to make!" She begins to gently shake you, rocking you back and forth in her excitement. "Make sure to practice your 3D maneuvers as well, I wouldn't want to lose my favorite assistant!"

You feel your blush deepen, and wonder how she doesn't notice.

"Of course, Squad Leader," you say.

.

During the next four weeks, you spend your days mostly with your friends in the hopes some of their strongest skills rub off on you.

Mikasa teaches you how she handles her blade. You try your best to learn from her, but handling swords isn't your strong suit. But still, there is a noticeable improvement in your form. Thanks to her, your blades can firmly and precisely cut through a titan's nape without any problem.

Eren and Jean argue over who would help you with 3DM air movements until they finally agree that it would be best for both of them to assist you. This plan lasts less than a week until finally after you break up two fistfights and countless arguments, the two of them come to the conclusion that being around each other is worse than a death sentence. You start to practice on your own, but they manage to teach you a few new tricks, like being able to do a backflip before slicing the titan's neck, that way you would be able to move quickly and proceed to another titan in a matter of seconds.

Armin sits with you every day during lunch and dinner, keeping your knowledge on Titans sharp. He shuffles through bundles of cards as well as notebooks full of information. He quizzes you every day and corrects you when you're wrong. He's the most helpful of them all.

Reiner and Bertholdt do their best to train you in hand-to-hand combat. You won't need it, and Annie was better than they are, but they must have sparred with her enough for some of her moves to rub off, and you figure there's no harm in being overly prepared.

Krista teaches you what she knows about how to care for wounds with ingredients you can find in the forest. She shows you how to wrap an injury and how to do it quickly. Nothing new, but she is very good at helping others. Ymir shows up halfway through Krista's splinting demonstration, and you're pretty sure she only stays there so she can play the part of swooning, Injured Scout. Every so often she would let out a long sigh and moan about her fake injuries. "I'm so hurt Krista, please take care of me," she says. "If I survive this injury, please marry me Krista." You don't ask Ymir for help with anything, you know all she really puts effort into is charming Krista.

Sasha and Connie... well, they're certainly a good distraction when you need a break. Sasha tells you her hunting stories, and when she notices you're interested, her stories become much more dramatically performed. She recruits Connie to help her put on a play, and he plays every character in her stories: Sasha herself, the injured animal, even the sound of the wind as it rushes past the trees. They are exceptionally good at making you laugh.

The night before the expedition departs, while you're in your room packing your bags and triple-checking your list making sure everything you might need is in it. Everything seems to be in order. Flare guns, medical supplies, a toothbrush and comb. A sudden knock on your door pulls you away from your thoughts.

"Yes?"

"Y/N, can I come in?" says a familiar voice, and your heart skips. You nearly give yourself whiplash as you turn your head.

"Yes!" you call out, and the door creaks open. Your eyes meet Hanji's, and a familiar feeling overtakes you.

"I haven't seen you in so long. I miss you," she has a gentle smile on her face, and you feel your cheeks reddening as usual. Why must your body do this to you every time she's around? You signal for her to come inside, and Hanji closes the door behind her.

Hanji sits on your bed while reaching for your hand. She takes it and pulls you closer, excitement in her eyes. As soon as you readjust next to her, you impulsively wrap your arms around her shoulders. It takes Hanji by surprise, but she is quick to return the embrace. If only you had the courage to tell her how you feel before you leave tomorrow... but you can't risk clouding her mind with such thoughts. She needs to have a clear head tomorrow, and you need to be there for her no matter what. She may not know how you feel, but you need to remember her like this, just in case. You touch the rough fabric of her jacket, inhale the scent of her hair, feel the cold and hardness of her glasses press against your cheek. You just hold her, needing to feel her like it's the last thing you'd ever do on this Earth.

You wish you could stay forever in her arms, but you manage to pull yourself away after a few seconds. Hanji gives you a soft look. "What was that about?" she asks.

Your face feels so hot you're surprised you don't burst into flames. That familiar feeling takes over your body while your brain processes everything that just happened.

"I missed you too," is all you can say. "So, did you want to tell me something, Hanji?"

Her slight smile disappears. She takes a deep breath, as if the air in her lungs is about to be stolen, "I'm just a little nervous about tomorrow. I thought you might be able to help me calm down, but it seems like I didn't even need to ask," she says, smiling. "Do you feel ready?"

"Yes, I've been practicing to make sure I will not be killed tomorrow!", you say, forming fists with your hands and positioning them on your hips. You're proud of everything you've accomplished with your friends' help during these past few weeks. Hanji starts laughing, and you beam with pride. You hope this is what she needed.

When her laughter subsides, Hanji lets out a contented sigh. "I honestly don't know what I would do without you around," she says.

Your eyes widen, and you get embarrassed again. You can't help but look away. Her soft hand touches your shoulder, "I should get going now. I need to look over some details before we leave in the morning." She squeezes your shoulder. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

You nod. "Of course, Squad Leader."

.

"Our mission, the expedition to capture a Titan, will now commence! Give up your hearts for humanity!" Commander Erwin's voice echoes clearly throughout the scouts as the gate opens fully. While screaming, he signals with his arms and the horses sprint outside the wall in formation. The gate closes behind them with a heavy thunk.

The sky is a beautiful shade of blue, with very few clouds. The cold breeze against your skin brings chills everywhere it touches. There are goosebumps all over your body, but the excitement rushing through your veins is enough to keep you warm for now. You've been preparing yourself for this for the past month and you feel like for once, luck is on your side.

Right next to you rides Hanji. Her laugh rings out louder than dozens of thundering hooves and yelling Scouts. The Commander had asked you to stay by her side at all times, mostly to keep her from getting herself killed, and judging by the twinkle in his eye, you could tell that your affections were noticed even at the highest level of the Scouting Regiment.

As the formation rides out, Hanji takes a moment to meet your eyes, and you smile at her. Today is going to be a win for humanity, you think to yourself.

You could not be more wrong.

[nothorses]

So I have a question/something I'd like your input on, since I feel like you'd have something interesting to say about this.

Anyways, some background: i'm in a child and youth care program in a rather left leaning, relatively progressive college, in a rather left leaning/progressive city.

It's actually been a very validating experience so far--I feel so much more accepted here then at my last school, which, while it was located relatively close to the city, had a rather more conservative student body and faculty. I had to fight for accomodation and acceptance, and I didn't end up going to my convocation since, when I had asked, they said they wouldn't call my prefered name when I'd get the certificate at the ceremony, or use the right name on it (they made it seem that their hands were completely tied, even though I know of other schools who've done this exact thing, incl the school I'm at now, without needing proof of a legal name change).

Anyways, at this school, i'm even having instructors I don't even know well going to bat for me and using their connections to get the help I needed when I was having trouble with my name being displayed wrong in the online classroom. Like, thank god for having CYC's as profs, right?

So, to my point: one of our classes is all about inclusion and anti oppressive practices. It's literally the name of the class. I actually enjoy the class a fair bit--despite classes being virtual, my class is sharing a lot and there's a lot of bonding and openness going on in the virtual lecture space. It's encouraged me to be open about my own troubles as a trans person, and people have been v supportive.

In a recent lecture, we start talking about the different terms of discrimination against various groups that face oppression (like, racism, albleism, etc). So she asks us: what is the term for discrimination against trans people? And I say Transphobia. Because that's the term I see most often, and the one I say myself. Apparently the Proper term now is cissexism (or cisgenderism?), and I got chided for saying transphobia.

I went and turned my mic on and basically said that I feel like transphobia is the term the general population is only Just started to take seriously, and the instructor argued that as we're in an academic circle, and as CYCs, it's our job to use the most progressive terms to move things forward, and that we shouldn't be conflating the discrimination trans people face with a phobia. Since, not only does it validate the fear of trans people, but it's not fair to those that have legitimate phobias.

I dropped it there, but I was brave and I asked to speak with the instructor after class.

During that talk, I pretty much said that it's hard being probably the only trans person in at least first year, and being visible and open as one, and having to be told the "right" term to use for my own experiences. She could relate, she said, as she's a black woman, and have faced probably similar experiences from white people correcting her on terms she uses for her own experiences. She did say though, as she's in the role of an instructor, it is her job to educate herself, think on what they're saying, and potentially make changes to her language.

But, she also said she can't speak for my experiences, and she won't make me change my language.

I was appreciative, and I talked about things I've personally faced, and how, even just 10 years ago, trans people were treated so frequently as a joke. Even on screen deaths were funny in media. I brought up that the trans panic defense was still considered a valid defense to use in court not long ago (and still probably is in some places), and someone won a case recently that way. Even just the term "transphobia" is only just recently been taken seriously, in my eyes, while before it was often brushed off as not a legitimate concern. Even when I was first coming out, I was told I was just confused, or trans people were just doing it for attention. I still face open glares sometimes, purposeful misgendering, fights with my sister about some of her transphobic views she refuses to question... And while it was hard to be that vulnerable, the conversation ended on a very good note.

I personally don't feel ready to change this language. But I don't really know if I was in the right to argue all of this. I'm only one trans person, I don't want to talk over those who've probably fought to switch the language away from "transphobia" as the valid term. But, i'm in an awkward position of being an unofficial spokesperson as the token trans guy in the class, talking to a lot of folks who've admitted I am the first trans person they've met. So, i dunno, i'm weird with conflict and I was wondering what you're thoughts were on all of this.

This is kind of a tricky one for a lot of reasons, tbh? And I have... a few thoughts. This is already super long, so under the cut it goes!

The first thing is that “transphobia” and “cissexism” aren’t actually interchangeable; they’re different concepts. “Transphobia” refers to bigotry against trans people or transness in general, while “cissexism” or “cisgenderism” is appealing to (or is) the wider system of oppression. (x)

That’s not to say those words are actually used that way in practice, because they’re not, and I certainly don’t use them that way every time either. Like you said, “transphobia” is the word people more often understand. When I’m writing for or talking to audiences that don’t already have a strong background in trans theory, I stick to “transphobia” for clarity’s sake.

But if you’re positioning yourself as an educational authority on the subject, and even going so far as to correct trans people on those terms- you should know that. If your question is “which term refers to discrimination against trans people?”, your answer is reliant upon how you choose to define “discrimination” in that context.

It’s also reasonable to assume people would answer with the first term if they don’t know both of them, and what she’s set up sounds like an unfair “gotcha!” meant to cow uninformed cis people.

And tbh, I take issue with that. There’s a great essay on this- The Cycle of Socialization by Bobbie Harro. The core of this cycle, which allows oppression to continue and encourages its perpetuation, includes confusion and insecurity: oppression is complex, and big, and people are afraid of taking a stand and doing it wrong. They are insecure in their knowledge and position, and afraid that if they try, they’ll get it wrong, and they’ll be punished. So they stay silent. What is that “gotcha!” moment doing except enforcing that fear and silence?

The other thing here are her reasons for using “cissexism” instead. She’s absolutely right that there is dialogue about what terms to use, and her listed reasons are informed and well-educated. I don’t know how I feel about the discussion myself, honestly, as I’ve seen it from the start and I’ve watched it play out for multiple years.

I don’t know if I agree that it’s ableist, part of that being that the “-phobic” thing was originally created as a “compassionate justification” for people’s bigotry against gay people (though there is the “-misic/misia” replacement for “-phobia” if you prefer). That’s still problematic for different reasons; like she said, it might validate bigotry as “fear”. “Cissexism” illustrates bigotry as enforcing a system rather than being honestly rooted in feelings, and that’s generally a good thing, imo.

But, y’know, “transphobia” is what people readily understand, and punishing people for using it is counterproductive. Using “transphobia” as a starting point for a discussion and an understanding is helpful, too; it connects these ideas back to what people already know. It meets them where they are. If you want to add “cissexism” to their vocabulary from there, please do! But that shouldn’t be rooted in shame.

I don’t know if any of this is helpful, but I thought I’d throw out what seemed to be the core of the issue to me, in case it resonated with you. If you still feel weird about the interaction, it might be worth it to address that with her again; she seems like she’s genuinely trying, and cares, and like she’s open to making changes. If nothing else, you might be able to sort out what’s still bugging you and address it as a feelings issue, rather than a language one, if that works better for you.

Good luck! And sorry for the super long answer, lol.

[milkmateartist]

HEAVENS Black Garden English Translation 【 Shion's Route Pt. 1 】

[ — I do not own Black Garden, HEAVENS, Utapri, or any of the characters. This is a fan translation using a combination of google translate and my own japanese knowledge — ]

// Translated by MilkmateArtist

-------------------------------------------------

▽ You

"There he is ..."

I didn't ask for his name, but I quickly realized it was Simon.

He was leaning against a big tree, sleeping comfortably.

▽ You

"Simon, please wake up."

It hurt me a bit to wake him up so soon, but I shook his shoulders lightly.

▽ Simon

"Hmm……".

His eyes opened slowly.

▽ You

"It's nice to meet you."

▽ Simon

"A stranger ……! !! "

"The moment he recognized me he backed away looking at me with fear in his eyes.

▽ You

"I'm ( ___ ). I received a letter and came here."

▽ Simon

"You are ... a relative of the Lord."

▽ You

"I'm sorry I woke you up. Eric and I were looking for you, you see."

▽ Simon

"I see. I guess it took a while...."

Simon stood up and bowed.

▽ You

"What were you doing at the edge of the garden?"

Spending so much time with Eric, he must worried about me being in an unfindable place.

▽ Simon

"I was looking for a bird ... The blue bird cherished by the Lord has escaped. It's still young, so I'm worried..."

Simon's sad expression suggested he cherished the bird as well.

▽ Simon

"Looking for it exhausted me, so I thought I'd rest."

He must have searched pretty frantically if he had to rest like that.

I wondered what to do.

(A) Wait for its return in the garden

(B) Go back to the mansion for a bit

(C) Look for it together

(A) Wait for it's return in the garden

▽ You

"Let's wait for the little bird to come back to the garden."

I thought it would be better to be near the garden.

A small bird wouldn't have been able to fly that far.

▽ Simon

"Oh, that's a good idea. Would you wait there with me?"

▽ You

"Yes!"

We decided to sit under a tree and wait.

…………. ……………………. ……………………………….

Despite waiting a long time, there was no indication of the little bird's return..

▽ Simon

"It will be too late after dark so ... Let's go find it."

▽ You

"I agree."

I also obeyed Simon, who stood up anxiously.

(B) Go back to the mansion for a bit

▽ You

"Would you like to return to the mansion for a bit?"

He must have been looking for it before I came here. If he couldn't find it then, then it might be unlikely that we would find it now.

▽ You

"I'm sure it will be back soon."

That said, Simon's complexion changed.

▽ Simon

"You're sure……? Even though I'm not... If the Lord were to find out .."

There was a ghastly look on his now pale face.

▽ Simon

"Although, even if it is just a bird in this situation, for me it is irreplaceable."

▽ You

"I'm sorry. It doesn't mean that your intention ..".

▽ Simon

"It's fine. I'll search on my own."

Then he ran into the forest.

▽ You

"Please wait!"

I followed, but I lost sight of Simon. Not only that, I didn't even know how to get back.

I wandered aimlessly until completely all my strength was gone. My life was cut short in that forest.

BAD END

(C) Let's find it together

▽ You

"Let's find it together! Please let me help too."

Seeing Simons depressed expression, I couldn't help but say that.

▽ Simon

"...... Is that alright? That's encouraging. You're a kind one ( ___ ). "

Simon smiled happily.

▽ You

"Well, that's ... That's because you conveyed your feelings to me Simon."

▽ Simon

"I think I'll get along with you. Thank you for your warm consideration."

▽ You

"We'll definitely find it!"

We went back to the garden and looked for Eric, but there was no sight of him.

I wanted to report that Simon was found, but feeling the search for the little bird was the top priority, and we returned to the forest.

▽ You

"What kind of work do you do here in the mansion?"

I thought that having a conversation would make him feel better, so I tried asking a question I was curious about.

▽ Simon

"I take care of the animals that the Lord has brought back from all over the world."

▽ You

"That's pretty sweet. It's probably really hard though."

▽ Simon

"Yeah…… All of them are unique and adorable. If you treat them well they return the favor."

His shining eyes and passionate words conveyed his honest feelings.

▽ Simon

"It was in my care as well. That bird ... However, the door of the cage was broken."

▽ Simon

"I want to find it soon. I'm sure it's trembling from loneliness."

▽ You

"…… But we've come a long way."

A steep slope continued in front of me.

▽ Simon

"This is called Jigokuzaka ... It's that tough of a trail."

▽ You

"Jigokuzaka……. That sounds intense."

▽ Simon

"There is a hill with a good view at the end of the climb. I wonder if the bird would prefer such a high place.."

We looked at each other and made up our minds.

▽ Hugo

"What are you guys doing here?"

▽ You

"Hugo!"

Suddenly, he emerged from the bush behind him. He always seemed to be coming out of nowhere.

▽ Simon

"What a good time.. Will you take us to the top of this slope?"

▽ Hugo

"Oh, that's easy. Well, let's go."

▽ You

"Huh ...! ??"

Just like that, Simon and I were easily carried on both of Hugo's shoulders as he started running on the slope.

▽ You

"Aren't we heavy? I can walk on our own, so please let me down.. "

▽ Hugo

"No problem at all. This is far easier than my usual training."

I wondered what he usually did... I was curious about Hugo's daily life.

▽ Hugo

"More importantly, it would be bad if Simon collapsed. He doesn't have the strength."

We couldn't find the bird after we got to the top. After we were done searching, Hugo took us on his shoulders again and climbed down.

▽ Simon

"Thank you Hugo ... I'm grateful."

▽ Hugo

"Don`t worry. Well, I'm in the middle of patrolling, so I'm gonna head out."

Then Hugo disappeared into the bush again.

▽ Simon

"Next, let's look around the building. I had it in it's cage when we went on walks."

Relying on memory, we searched the area where it might return to.

▽ You

"……! !!"

Suddenly something glazed in front of me.

Looking at where the noise came from, I saw a sword stuck in the wall. Overwhelmed, I fell to my knees.

▽ Keith

"During training ... it slipped from ... my hand. I'm sorry. Are you hurt ...?"

Keith ran up to me while I was on the ground, reaching a hand out. .

▽ You

"I'm okay. A bit surprised but..."

It's scary to think that it would have hit me should the timing have not been a little off.

▽ Simon

"Keith is burdened by his role as guard... Training is necessary. Please forgive him."

▽ You

"Don't worry about it.. Nothing happened after all. More importantly, did you see a bluebird at all, Keith?"

I wanted information on any clues.

▽ Keith

"I have not ... You might find if you... get some bait ...from Eric ..."

▽ You

"That's a good idea!"

We went around the hall to find Eric.

▽ You

"There he is!"

Eric was looking for something in the wine cellar.

▽ Eric

"Ah……! Simon, you found me."

Seeming to be in a hurry, he put the vial he had in his hand in his pocket.

▽ Eric

"I was looking for wine to cook for dinner."

Although I felt something was wrong, the search for the small bird came first.

When we explained the situation, Eric gave us some bread crumbs.

▽ You

"We should definitely be able to find it with this."

▽ Simon

"I hope that will happen. Above all, it must be hungry. If we don't find it soon ..."

We headed out of the mansion again.

When we got out of the front door, we encountered Mika.

▽ Simon

"Mika, what good timing. Would you help me look for a bird?

▽ Mika

"Nope, as much as I would like to. I have to go to deliver letters from here on out."

▽ Simon

"If it's official orders then ... it can't be helped. That's a shame."

▽ Mika

"Jeez, are you really that depressed?!"

▽ Simon

"Your observation skills are keen and are very clever. Without your help I can't manage to motivate myself.

▽ Mika

"I guess that's so but ... That's it! Why don't you ask Virgil? I'm sure he's "free" at this time."

We found Virgil where Mika had told us he should be.

He was humming some song in a relaxed manner.

▽ You

"It's just as Mika said."

▽ Simon

"It seems so.. Virgil is skipping out while on duty."

▽ You

"Um ... I'm sorry to interrupt your break"

▽ Virgil

"Wha! What's that, are you implying I'm slacking off !??"

Surprised at our appearance, he jumped up, corrected his posture.

▽ Simon

"We're looking for a blue bird ..."

▽ Virgil

"That sounds grand! I'll help too! In exchange, can you keep what you saw before a secret?"

▽ Simon

"Okay, I won't tell the Lord. Then, do you have a plan?"

▽ Virgil

"It's darkest under the lamppost. The answer might be closer than we thought?"

Virgil looked outside the mansion while we decided to look inside the mansion.

▽ Simon

"It may have returned to the place it normally is."

With the idea in his head, Simon seemed to be walking with a purpose.

▽ Abel

"Where are you going in such a hurry?"

Abel called us and we stopped.

▽ You

"We're looking for a little bird that Simon is taking care of."

▽ Abel

"I see. I hope I can find it by dinner. You can't find it when it gets dark. "

▽ Simon

"…………."

To be honest, there was no guarantee that it would be found. Finding a bird that can fly around freely is a difficult task.

Perhaps he felt that, Simon closed his mouth.

▽ Abel

"Simon. ...... Believe, and give strength to your wish."

Abel grabs Simon's shoulder and speaks to inspire him.

▽ Abel

"Feelings surpass everything. Make the impossible possible!

The strong words touched our hearts like a spell.

We stopped in front of a room and opened the door.

Only an empty birdcage was there.

Let's give up already

I will do something

Be speechless

(A) Let's give up already

▽ You

"Let's give up already. It's impossible to find an escaped bird".

It's painful, but sometimes you have to face the reality.

▽ Simon

"No, that's not true……! There is no way I can give up"

His voice changed like he was a different person.

▽ Simon

"What do you know! This sadness, this pain ... "

My shoulders were strongly grasped and violently shaken.

▽ You

"Kya ……! !!"

I couldn't help but lose my balance to the momentum.

I hit my head hard on the desk holding the birdcage and fell to the floor.

A burning pain spread through my head. I couldn't even say a word, and it was pitch black in front of me.

I felt like I heard an eerie laugh in my consciousness.

BAD END

(B) I will do something

▽ ▽ You

I'll do something about it!

Before I noticed, the words had come out.. I didn't want to see Simon's sad face.

▽ Simon

"Really……?"

I didn't have a concrete solution, but if I didn't put my feelings forward then our hopes would be lost.

▽ You

"Yes……. I promise."

▽ Simon

"The power of Kotodama is strong. I wonder if your feelings will cause a miracle to happen."

When he spoke, he gently took my hand and smiled happily.

(C) (Be speechless)

▽ You

"…………."

I had no words.. I was overwhelmed by the hopeless reality.

▽ Simon

"It's only when you lose something that you realize its importance..."

Simon's sadness was immeasurable. The expression of despair was unbearable to see.

▽ You

"I will do whatever I can. So please ..."

I muttered, praying to heaven.

CONTINUE:

Time passed mercilessly, and the night fell.

Waiting for the morning to come, I vowed to search again and went to sleep.

----------------------------------------

Go to Black Garden English Translation Directory here for more routes.

[alj4890]

Misfortune's Intentions

(Liam x oc*Elisse Millan) (Drake x Riley) in a Choices The Royal Heir fan fiction

A/N It is the day after Riley and Drake told Liam that they didn’t want their child to be next in line to the throne. I will also be delving a bit into Book 3 of TRR’s reveal of who would inheirt the throne after Liam. I’m surprised that this hasn’t been brought up again in The Royal Heir books. This chapter will focus on whether or not Elisse should remain not only in Cordonia, but also with Liam.

@gkittylove99​​ @krsnlove​​ @kingliam2019​​ @texaskitten30​​ @hopefulmoonobject​​ @yourmajesty09​​ @mom2000aggie​​ @ofpixelsandscribbles​

Masterlist

Chapter 5 Possibilities

The Royal Gardens, Cordonia...

The occasional sound of thunder rumbling set the tone for the day's surprise news conference.

With Drake and Riley standing behind him, Liam announced that their child was no longer next in line for the throne.

Questions were followed by flashes of cameras at the trio.

"Who will you choose now?"

"Your grace, what made you decide to withdraw your child's claim?"

"Does this have anything to do with King Liam's relationship with Lady Millan?"

Liam held his hand up for silence.

"This decision is a personal one for the Duke and Duchess of Cordonia. I respect their choice and will work towards settling everyone's mind at ease toward the security of the throne." With that, he returned to the palace, leaving Riley and Drake to finish up the press conference.

****************

Cranbourne Manor, Cordonia...

"Elisse." Amalas shook her cousin's shoulder. "Wake up. You need to see this."

Elisss sat up with a start. "What's wrong?"

She blinked away her sleep as Amalas turned the news on.

"King Liam was flanked by the Duke and Duchess of Valtoria as he announced that they would no longer be providing Cordonia with a much needed heir. The trio were tight lipped about what had changed their mind. Analysts suspect the events between Duchess Riley and King Bradshaw of Auvernal led to this decision."

A clip then was shown of Liam speaking before a crowd of reporters.

"Well, at least you two are good." Amalas turned the television off. "I think I will try and meet with Liam before I go home. He needs to know I still want an alliance."

Elisse was unnaturally still as she stared at the now black screen.

"I want you to stay here as an ambassador of sorts to help further Corodnia and Monterisso's relationship." Amalas prattled on as she searched Elisse's closet. "And to enjoy time with Liam."

She noticed the silence and peeked out at Elisse. "What's wrong?"

"I--you need to find someone else to stay here." She got out of bed and went straight to the bathroom. Shutting the door so Amalas couldn't follow her, she raised her voice to be heard. "I should return to Monterisso."

"Why?" Amalas stood before the closed door. "I can send you whatever you need from home. We brought most of your clothes with us. I'll make sure your estate is cared for and--"

"I'm not going home to pack. I'm going home to stay."

"What are you talking about?" Amalas demanded.

She turned the doorknob then ordered Elisse to unlock it.

An irritated groan could be heard as the door opened.

"I'm going home with you today." Elisse repeated.

"Why?"

"Because," she hedged. "It's the right thing to do."

"Right thing? For whom? Our country needs you to stay here. I need you to further our trade agreements. Liam needs you--"

"Anyone else can do this." Elisse snapped. "And I am the last thing Liam needs right now!"

"Why do you think that?" Amalas narrowed her eyes. "Is this over this heir debacle?"

"Of course it is!" Elisse shouted. "Liam is back to where he was when Riley refused his marriage proposal. He needs to marry and produce an heir as quickly as he can before more unrest strikes Cordonia. Any political analyst would say that is the only step he can possibly make."

"Then you should definitely remain here." Amalas argued.

"Why? So I can be another source of guilt for him? He will need to marry someone else...someone who can have children." Tears filled her eyes. "Liam deserves to have a family that will continue the work he does for Cordonia."

"Elisse." Amalas pinched the bridge of her nose. She took a few deep breaths before speaking again. "You have to let this mindset go. You can't let this one issue keep you from ever enjoying what life gives you." She sighed. "The two of you are clearly in love and--"

"That's why I have to leave." Elisse sat down on the bathroom floor, unable to stand the heartache growing stronger. "He hasn't made any declarations yet and if he did...I don't think I would be able to leave him." Her eyes lifted to her cousin's when she sat down across from her. "Liam is the best man I have ever known. The most generous--he--you know he would marry me out of duty if he had a chance to say he loved me. He would do that even with the knowledge that it would be a mistake."

"It wouldn't be a mistake." Amalas said softly. "Liam is not a fool. He--"

"I know." Elisse ignored the tears that trickled down her cheeks. "But I can't be the one to keep him from having children. To see him missing out on that--"

"Stop." Amalas held her hand up. "You have yet to talk to him about this. You're jumping from one wild conclusion to the next."

"I'm not." Elisse accepted the box of tissues that were handed to her. "Amalas, I don't think I could take hearing him say that we can't be together anymore."

"So you're just going to run away? Even though he has not done nor said anything remotely like that?"

"You know it will happen. His advisors will look at this decision as a chance to guide him back toward marriage with a proper, fertile noble."

"I don't know that." Amalas stubbornly refused to accept it. "Now get dressed. We are due at the palace in an hour."

"I'm not going." Elisse glared at her.

"Yes, you are." Amalas snapped. "You are going to go with me as a Viscountess of Monterisso to cement our relationship with the ruler and people of Cordonia." She pointed at her. "Whether or not you will stay is up to you."

She slammed the bathroom door shut. Her hardened features softened to one of heartache as she heard Elisse's muffled sobs.

"What am I to do?" Amalas whispered to herself.

*****************

The Royal Palace, Corodnia...

"Her majesty, Queen Amalas of Monterisso and Viscontess Elisse Millan." A servant announced.

Liam rose from behind his desk to greet them warmly.

His happiness at seeing the one he cared for dimmed when Elisse kept her eyes cast down. No smile was returned. No words passed her lips.

Amalas glanced from one to the other. "I wanted to stop by on my way to the airport."

"You heard the press conference?"

"We did. Though that potential alliance is no more, I still wanted to formally state my willingness to keeping the promises we both have made for our countries."

"Thank you." He bowed his head. "I have no intention of letting our relationship change over Lady Riley's decision."

"Good." Amalas shook his hand. "Now then. I have decided to leave Elisse here as a liaison of sorts for Monterisso. With the proposed measures we have discussed, I think having her on hand during any transitions would--"

"I refuse." Elisse interrupted.

Amalas bit her tongue to keep from snapping at her. "As I was saying, I think she will--"

"Not be here." Elisse forced herself to look up at Liam's shocked face. "I'm going back to Monterisso."

"Elisse." Amalas hissed. "We discussed this earlier. You will--"

"I won't." She curtsied to them both. "Forgive me, but I am not the right person for this position." She spun on her heel and quickly left.

"Elisse!" Liam paused on the way to chase after her when Amalas placed a hand on his arm.

"She thinks you need to find someone to marry and have an heir with." She quickly explained.

Understanding dawned in his eyes. With a brisk nod, he hurried out.

***************

Elisse ran blindly through a side door of the palace, hoping Liam wouldn't find her. She tried to gage where she was through her tears and noticed the apple orchard a little ways in the distance.

Fearing someone would see her, she stumbled in that direction to find another way off the palace grounds.

The further she got from the palace, the louder her cries became. Her breath hitched as images of her time spent with Liam flittered through her mind. All her daydreams of a life with him crumbled with the knowledge that she would be wrong to remain with him.

Tripping over her own feet, she fell to her knees.

"Are you hurt?"

Elisse's head jerked up in surprise.

Olivia stood before her, brow deeply furrowed as she studied her.

"No." Elisse managed to say. "Thank you."

"Then why aren't you getting up?"

"I don't know."

Olivia rolled her eyes as she sat down across from her. "If you aren't hurt, then why are you crying?"

Elisse wiped her tears with the back of her hands. "I'm leaving Cordonia."

"You are?" Olivia leaned forward.

"Yes."

"Are you being forced to?"

"No."

Olivia huffed in irritation. "Elisse, why are you crying?"

"Liam." She mumbled.

"What about him?"

"He...I can't..."

"Can't have children." Olivia finished for her.

Elisse's face became even more heartbroken. "He told you? I thought--he knew how much it--I can't believe he would--"

"Liam told me nothing." Olivia corrected. "I investigated you."

Elisse blinked in surprise. "Oh."

"You don't seem upset about that."

"Why should I be?" Elisse asked. "It is what I would do if some stranger came into my country and became close to our ruler."

Olivia nodded, pleased to see that she understood. "You would be surprised how many get offended over that."

Elisse snorted. "Then they clearly don't understand how quickly an outsider can harm a country."

"Exactly." Olivia replied, admiration growing for Liam's new love. "One should always be prepared."

"That's what Amalas and I always say." Elisse's lips curved into a slight smile. "Who wants to have a meeting with someone and not try and have the upper hand from the beginning?"

"I can see why Liam thinks so highly of you." Olivia tilted her head to the side. "Which, it has been obvious to everyone that you return his admiration and affection. So the obvious question is this:  why are you leaving?"

"I heard about, " Elisse's nose wrinkled in disgust, "Lady Riley's decision."

"Ah." Olivia now understood. "So you think to save Liam added problems by leaving and allowing him a chance to choose a queen."

"One that can give him all the heirs he needs." Elisse added a touch bitterly. Her dark eyes lifted to Olivia's green. "You know it is the right thing to do."

"I do." The duchess admitted. "But, surely there is a way where you can--"

"If you investigated me, then you know there is little hope. Dr. Ramsey and Dr. Tanaka did all they could to fix my uterus and ovary."

"And?" Olivia prodded.

"And though the tumors have been removed, and even if I tried in vitro, my uterus is most likely not strong enough to carry a baby full term."

"I see." Olivia sat back in contemplation. "When do you go back for another checkup?"

"Next month."

"Then I'm going with you." Olivia decided.

"Pardon?" Elisse's eye brows drew together. "Why would you--"

"I have questions about what I read in Dr. Ramsey's report." Olivia explained. "I'm sure Liam will have his own too."

"Liam? But I'm going to end things between us."

"Why would you do that?" Olivia huffed at Elisse's inability to keep up. "Liam hasn't been this happy in years. You would leave him without allowing him to make up his own mind about what he needs in his queen?"

"You know how kind he is." Elisse narrowed her eyes. "You, yourself, understood my reasons for leaving!"

"Just because I understand, doesn't mean that I approve." Olivia argued. "Especially in not giving him an opportunity to discuss this fully."

Elisse dropped her head in her hands. "You know he will be understanding."

Olivia stood up and dusted her backside. "You are doing a disservice to both of you by refusing to talk to him." She held her hand toward Elisse. "Surely you can get through one conversation before deciding both your futures."

Elisse took a deep breath, knowing the duchess was right. She reached out and clasped the helping hand.

"You're right." She squeezed her hand in gratitude. "Thank you for listening to me."

Olivia returned the squeeze. "No need to thank me. Now go talk to Liam."

She watched the viscountess make her way back to the palace while contemplating what she could do to possibly help them.

****************

Near the hedge maze...

“There you are!” Liam jogged over to Elisse. “I’ve been searing everywhere for you.”

He took her into his arms, hugging her close.

She allowed him to comfort her a few more moments before pulling away.

“We need to talk.”

Liam stilled. "I know what you are going to say, Elisse, and the answer is, no."

"But you won't actively search for a queen while I am around!" Elisse didn’t bother to disguise the bitterness she felt. "I am the last person you should be with."

"I disagree."

"Liam, your child should be the one to inherit Cordonia. Not some random noble's." She argued. "I can't be the reason your throne is in jeopardy."

"It isn't." He argued. "Olivia is next in line through her ancestors. If I never have a child, she and her children will keep it secure."

"Then why did you rush to name Riley and Drake's child as your heir?" She asked.

A deep, frustrated sigh escaped his lips. "Because Olivia asked me to choose another."

"Why?"

"Her parents' treachery has somehow convinced Olivia that her name and blood is tainted." He explained, pulling Elisse slowly back within his arms. "No matter how often I point out that she herself is considered a hero in the eyes of the people of Cordonia, she still allows the past to haunt and guide her decisions."

His clear blue eyes gentled as he realized that Elisse was doing the very same thing. Her body's betrayal in terms of reproduction was going to keep her from allowing herself a chance at happiness with him.

He couldn't let that happen. After the past few years of pining for what he couldn't have, Liam had finally found someone he could truly be with. No pressure from outside influences. No interference. Nothing except a chance to enjoy the time they spent together.

The deep, breath catching sadness he saw coming to the surface was something he didn't want to see in her face. Ever.

"I need you to stay in Cordonia."

She closed her eyes briefly at the desperation he allowed her to hear tinging his voice.

"I need you to be with me, Elisse." Liam rested his forehead against hers. "I'm in love with you."

Tears slipped, unheeded, down her cheeks.

He waited patiently for her to say what he needed to hear most. He didn't doubt for a moment that she felt the same way. Each touch, glance, and words pointed to her caring just as much as he did.

She struggled with the inevitable. Elisse believed she should lie and say she felt nothing. Then perhaps he could find someone who could give him everything he deserved.

I have nothing to offer, she thought.

She lifted her eyes to his and knew she couldn’t hurt him like that.

"I love you too." She admitted. "So very much."

Liam's smile touched her heart with its joy. His lips met hers in an achingly tender kiss.

"You'll stay?" He asked, cradling her face in his hands.

"I will." She promised. "For as long as you want me to."

"I hope forever meets with your plans." He smiled against her lips. "Because I refuse to negotiate on that."

A tearful laugh burst out as she shook her head. "What am I to do with you?"

He lifted his head and brushed a kiss to her knuckles. "Marry me."

[thebakinglibrarian]

Character Interview—Garrett Hawke

(commissioned artwork by the talented @laugandraws !) tagged by my lovely friend @curiousthimble ❤️

'Why am I doing this again?' Hawke asks, pushing the last of the cupcakes into the oven and setting the timer.

Fenris swivels in the Thinking Stool, clipboard and pen at the ready. 'Because we're getting to know our patrons, and I tire of talking to strangers,' the Librarian tells the man, adjusting his glasses.

~~

name; Garrett Nicholas Hawke. ['Your middle name is Nicholas?'] I know, it's dreadful. I blame Mother. [*laughs*]

are you single; I uh—well. No? No. I... am? It's complicated. You know it is.

are you happy; ... Yes, I suppose I am. A lot's happened in my life—you know that—but I wouldn't change it for the world. Where I am now, I am happy.

are your parents—['We'll skip this one, Hawke.']

NINE FACTS

birthplace; Lothering. Good ol' smelly Lothering. There were fields everywhere. It was the best. Marian and I would run up hills and roll all the way down until the sun set. Sometimes I wish we could go back.

hair colour; Black—or as Marian likes to call it, Raven-coloured.

eye colour; Seafoam blue—again, Marian likes to coin these descriptions. She's the one who's better at words after all.

birthday; [*Fenris writes this down himself*]

mood; Tired. I've just gone through a whole day of baking—plus I need to wash everything but I'm being held captive in my own studio doing this interview. [*Sighs* 'I will help with the clean-up']

gender; Male. My beard gives it away, huh? ['There are women who have beards, Hawke. And they are proud of the asset too.'] The next time you see them, call me. I'd like to know what secrets their beards hold!

summer or winter; Winter for sure. Kirkwall never gets any snow. Which is why our parents always brought us to Nothern Orlais for the winter holidays.

morning or afternoon; Afternoon. ['Oh? I was under the impression that you were a morning person'] ... Yeah. Past tense. I used to like mornings when we—never mind. Afternoons keep me busy for the most part, and I appreciate that. ['...']

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

'Wait what does this have to do with the survey?' Hawke finishes folding his dirty apron and sets it on the counter behind him.

Fenris shrugs, mindlessly spinning his pen. 'Head Librarian needed these stats for purposes she did not wish to reveal to me. You can see why I hesitate interviewing strangers.'

'Fair point.'

are you in love; ... ['You do not need to answer if you do not wish—] Yes. ['... Oh.']

do you believe in love at first sight; Yes. It happened to Lavellan. And Bethy. And Marian and Anders. So yes, I do believe in it. Next question.

who ended your last relationship; I don’t have to answer this one. [*Fenris nods*]

have you ever broken someone's heart; Yes. Bethany's when I broke that serial killer's face. She—fuck. You should've seen her face, Fenris. ['I can only imagine, Hawke. I am sorry that your family had to go through something so difficult.'] I’m pretty sure the Hawke name is cursed. Thank you, though. For checking up on me during those weeks. I don't think I ever thanked you for that. ['Always a pleasure, Hawke.']

are you afraid of commitments; I... used to not be. Now I think I am.

have you hugged someone within the last week; Siobhan. She put her paw on my face after that. Then I realised that she had just used the litterbox.

have you ever had a secret admirer; Ha! Never. ['I beg to differ,' Fenris replies in a whisper]

'...'

'What's wrong?'

Fenris’ expression hardens and he shifts uncomfortably in his seat. 'I do not know if you wish to answer this one.'

Hawke folds his arms across his chest. 'Fenris, I've already answered some that I don't want to.'

have you ever had your heart broken; Yes. Of course, many times. I’m an empath after all. When my parents were murdered. When Wynne passed. When Marian and Anders broke up—because I felt her heart break like it was my own. When I found out Aveline had cancer. When I realised that Bethy had been suffering alone. When you—well. I'll just leave it at that.

SIX CHOICES

love or lust; I used to think it was love, but now I think lust is easier. Neither, maybe.

lemonade or iced tea; Lemonade. Tea isn't supposed to have ice in it. I don't know what those hipster Orlesians were thinking. ['Agreed']

cats or dogs; If you ever tell Marian, I'll know because I'll probably have my tea poisoned. Dogs. ['I will make certain that your body is rushed to the morgue for autopsy ASAP so that they can track the culprit'] Gee, you're a such a good friend, Fenris.

a few best friends or many regular friends; The many. Unlike Marian, I don't like being alone. People make me happy. Plus, I get to bribe my way into their lives with all these sweets. ['You are already likeable by nature. No bribery is required, Hawke, I can assure you that.'] I—thank you.

wild night out or romantic night in; Disney, and lots of snacks ['Disney and a lot of snacks indeed.']

day or night; Day. Again, work keeps me busy.

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS

been caught sneaking out; No. That's Marian you're referring to.

fallen down/up the stairs; ['I know the answer to this one.'] If you write that down Fenris I swear I will place all the books in the library in the wrong shelves. ['Then you will simply have to answer to the Head Librarian'] ... Shit.

wanted something/someone so badly it hurt; Yes. It still hurts, if I'm being honest.

wanted to disappear; No. I guess I've never thought about that because I've conditioned myself to not have such irresponsible thoughts. If I disappeared, who will take care of my family?

FOUR PREFERENCES

smile or eyes; Eyes. People can lie through their smiles. You can't do that with your eyes.

shorter or taller; Shorter. I like reaching for things for them. It makes me feel useful.

intelligence or attraction; Intelligence. I never went to school, and I'm always amazed at what people know. It attracts me enough that they're willing to teach me, or share their knowledge instead of belittling me.

hook-up or relationship; Next question.

FAMILY

do you and your family get along; Both yes and no. We stab each other in the thigh but we kiss the wound to make it go away, too.

would you say you have a messed up life; 100%

have you ever ran away from home; Yes. ['You have?'] I got as far as the library. Wynne found me—knees scraped, snot-nosed and everything.

have you ever gotten kicked out; Again, Marian.

FRIENDS

do you secretly hate one of your friends; Well, I don't hate her... ['A hint of dislike, then?'] Yeah, you know who I'm referring to. ['I do. Is it... just her?'] Well, who else would there be? ['I thought—never mind. Forget I said anything.']

do you consider all of your friends to be good friends; Most of them, yes. Some are trying to be better, and I appreciate them for that.

who is your best friend; Lavellan. She's been part of a huge chunk of my life—for most of the important stuff, and while she may not be physically here majority of that time, she's here when it matters the most.

who knows everything about you; My sister—Marian—naturally. Lavellan, of course. Aveline because she has this supernatural big-sister-sense and... you. ['Me?'] Sometimes you know things about me that I don't even realise. And you were always so sure about me, too.

'Present tense. Always present tense, Hawke,' Fenris corrects him.

'Even after everything?' He asks quietly, somewhat afraid of the answer.

They make eye contact. 'Of course,’ he replies, then looks away as if hurt by his own answer.

Hawke sighs. The weight in his heart doesn't match the thoughts in his head. 'You can still use it, you know. My name.'

'I did not want to overstep—'

'You're family, after all,' Hawke interrupts, reassuring him. And as the words leave him, the clutter of thoughts start to clear. He watches as Fenris' shoulders relax, and he feels the stiffness in the air dissipate. There's a small smile on Fenris' lips, mirrored instinctively by his own.

'Thank you, Garrett,' he utters the name after so long, and the weight in Hawke's heart escapes him in a flutter.

[lizabethstucker]

Asimov's Science Fiction (March/April 2017)

Digging into my backlot of science fiction magazines. A mixture of verse and stories. I've only reviewed and rated the stories. This particular issue is the 40th Anniversary one! 3.8 out of 5 "Soulmates.com" by Will McIntosh Daniel wants someone to share his life with, to love and be loved by. When he meets Winnie through a dating app, he thinks she could be the one almost immediately. Emily, his former girlfriend and current best friend, is more suspicious, doing a deep dive on who Winnie could be. Which, considering they never meet in person despite Winnie being in Atlanta and Daniel in Athens, not that long a drive, is valid. Starts extremely slowly, assumingly to establish the characters. Not my favorite way as most writers don't do a good job at it. I'm not entirely certain that this is actually science fiction, despite the use of Artificial Intelligence. As to Daniel, I found him to be incredibly childish, blind, immature, and boring. He learned absolutely nothing from his experience. I struggled to complete this novella. 2.5 out of 5 "Number Thirty-Nine Skink" by Suzanne Palmer It started simply enough, an expedition designed to bring life in balance to an empty planet. Then the humans left suddenly, leaving Mike willingly behind with Kadey whose programming makes the creatures populating the area. When Mike dies of cancer, Kadey continues her work. Until the night something changes. Poor Kadey, struggling with loneliness, possibly incomplete programming, and the knowledge hidden from her regarding why the humans left. Sad, yes, but with a more hopeful ending that is also a beginning. Lovely story, so well written. 4.5 out of 5 "Three Can Keep a Secret..." by Bill Johnson & Gregory Frost A convoluted tale of assassins, misdirection, love, greed, and con-artistry with an almost noir feel to it. It's almost impossible to give a synopsis that isn't chockful of spoilers. The first person narrator isn't totally reliable, but still intriguing in what he shares. I loved this more than I expected with this strange little story. FYI, in case you don't know, the title is from an old saying. Three can keep a secret if two of them are dead. 4.5 out of 5 "The Ones Who Know Where They Are Going" by Sarah Pinsker A child must suffer so the city can be happy, or so they say. One particular child is taken from her mother, locked away in the dark with no social interaction beyond the delivery of food. As time passes, language is lost and memories of a happier time begin to fade. Then one day the door isn't shut tightly and the child gets out of the tiny dark room. She crawls up the stairs, each step bringing back a particular memory, heading for freedom. But at what cost? Rip my heart out, why don't you? Two and a half pages of the most gut-wrenching narrative. The tightly woven writing is painfully descriptive. And the ending! Oh, the ending. I just cannot deal with it. 5 out of 5 "Invasion of the Saucer-Men" by Dale Bailey Teenagers have been foiling alien invasions for some time. After all, the adults are either locked in their homes consuming television or would dismiss the very idea of aliens. The newest landing of a flying saucer bonds together teens out at the local make-out point. Per the author, his idea was to take the cheesy sci-fi and horror movie titles of the 1950s and treat the core idea with some emotional and thematic nuance. Here we have a group of teen archetypes, from the football star to the nerds to the beauty. There are also the followers that are always found in high school. This brings back memories of too many cheesy nights at the drive-ins in my county. I've always found my sympathies fell with the aliens most of the time, faced with humans whose first response to the unknown was always violence. Horrible ending to this story. Horrible. CW: extremely graphic attack. 3 out of 5 "Kitty Hawk" by Alan Smale After receiving word of her brother's death, Katharine Wriht travels from Ohio to North Carolina to help her other brother. Instead of Orville preparing to pack up for the trip home with his beloved

brother's body, he is trying to continue with the flight experiments that killed Wilbur. Katharine finds herself engaged in helping, even learning to fly herself. This is a complete AU of the Wright Brothers and the birth of flight, through World War I and the suffrage movement. The writing is evocative of the time period and the dangers of experimental flight. I don't know why it didn't click with me, but I struggled quite a bit in reading this imaginative tale. I can see others enjoying this greatly, just not me. 3 out of 5 "Cupido" by Rich Larson Marcel is a genius at chemistry. He came up with a way to make pheromones specific to the pair he's paid to bring together, either by one of the potential couple or by a third party. The majority of the money he charges goes to pay for his grandmother's colon cancer treatment. As word gets around, he finds himself moving to smaller cities to avoid identification. As yet, what he does isn't illegal. He didn't expect to find himself attracted to his potential mark. Frankly, I don't consider this to be science fiction at all. The science is already viable. Add the consent issues which would be called dubcon (dubious consent) and I'm too busy cringing to enjoy. In my mind, Marcel is anything but a hero. 3 out of 5 "A Singular Event in the Fourth Dimension" by Andrea M. Pawley Olive was removed from the reducer pile, adopted by a childless couple to help stave off loneliness. Now that the second grandmother is living with them and Mama was pregnant, Olive is worried that she will be sent back to the pile, no longer needed. A loving, imaginative little android who believes in fairy dust, even if the fairies never seem to do anything magical like in the stories. Love doesn't have to be limited to just humans or blood relations. Sweet and touching. 4.5 out of 5 "The Wisdom of the Group" by Ian R. MacLeod There are theories and studies about group-think, how certain groups can intuit a trend or coming situation without any real knowledge. With the right group, the members could get wealthy or probably save the world, depending on their inclination. Samuel has been part of such a group since brought in by his professor while still in university. Now, years later, Samuel is wealthy, has a liv-in lover, three dogs with unfortunate names, and a gorgeous house in Washington state. But something is wrong, something that seems to be originating from Samuel. The response is usually to cut the wrong out of the group. A complicated basis for a disturbing story. I had to sit on this one for a while in order to determine what I felt about it. Definitely strong writing, could almost be considered psychological horror. I don't know if I would ever say that I liked it, but I recognize the work done and the uniqueness of the story. 3.5 out of 5 "After the Atrocity" by Ian Creasey Abu Hameed, the terrorist behind the attack that left ten thousand people dead, has also died during interrogation. The solution? A machine that can make exact copies, complete with memories, of an individual. Violet Ruiz, operator and creator of the machine, even made a duplicate of herself in order to work 24/7. As Hameed's copies die during the enhanced interrogation, more copies are needed. Soon Violet II wonders about the ethical implications. Well thought out consideration of just how far a nation is willing to go in search of revenge wrapped in the disguise of intel. Patriot Act, enhanced interrogation the Greater Good, dismantling both Habeas Corpus and the Geneva Convention, anyone? 4 out of 5 "Goner" by Gregory Norman Bossert In order to explore space, humans had to be converted from flesh into nanotechnology based creatures. The pilots call themselves Goners. Char's best friend's father is a Goner. Already fascinated with the idea of flying, Char uses a sliver of Pilot Clark to begin changing. While this is complete in itself, the story also begs for more. What is happening to Char? Will he be allowed to live his dreams despite his age? S fascinating a concept. 3.5 out of 5 "We Regret the Error" by Terry

Bisson A series of news corrections from the future. So many corrections, even some corrections of corrections. Taken individually, these are amusing. Pieced together, there is a much deeper story playing out. Oh, and a nice dig at Disney's well-known history of not paying some of their artists for their work. 3 out of 5 "Tao Zero" by Damien Broderick Teenagers, incredibly smart ones, have unprotected sex after winning $370 million in the Mega Millions lottery. The celebration leads to a child, the narrator, and the money to try to trap the Tao, the Way that cannot be named, inside a machine. I tried, I really tried to read this without success. After rereading the first two pages over and over in an attempt to struggle through, I put the story aside, hoping to pick it back up when refreshed. Didn't work. DNF

[kaylusdraven]

A response from the President of the Board of Directors of Deeply Rooted. Brandi Pearson 6:24 PM (1 hour ago) to me Greetings Sue, I am glad to see that you are still alive and willing to make yourself heard and seen, though I regret to add that you are mistaken as to when your banishment will be lifted. Perhaps in your haste to send us your suggestion the details have slipped your mind. Thankfully, I have gotten a little better at copy and pasting in the last three months so here you go: Ms. SueEllen Lamb, This is in regards to decisions made by the Deeply Rooted Board of Directors during an emergency held on September 29, 2017. Whereas you, Sue Lamb, knowingly worked against the interests of Deeply Rooted in defense of Tonya Millette and Kirk Anderson Whereas you, Sue Lamb, failed to warn the Deeply Rooted Board of Tonya’s plan to hijack the Deeply Rooted Facebook groups Whereas, you Sue Lamb, took explicit advantage of the hijacked Deeply Rooted Members page to post your own commentary on the then-revealed contents of the Deeply Rooted Board Members page The Deeply Rooted Board of Directors voted unanimously on these decisions You, Sue Lamb, are to be banned from Deeply Rooted lands and Deeply Rooted events until Beltaine 2018, effective immediately You, Sue Lamb, will not be considered a member of good standing for a period of three years effective immediately, which also prohibits you from serving on committee, as Clergy, or as a member of the Deeply Rooted Board. Since I sent you this the first time ( which was October 6, 2017) and I had confirmation that you received this and copied it to your facebook wall (October 6, 2017) your decision to continue to use the public Facebook page to sell the idea that you were coming to Samhain despite being banned could be seen as abusive and bullying behavior; hence, we had you blocked from the public page. Since then, you have registered for Yule, Games Guns and Crafts weekend, and Imbolc. Not only did you try to register you have also done your best to work around the restrictions that were set up for you. This kind of behavior can be seen as not only intimidation but as an illegal maneuver, all of this has been tracked and documented with not only my knowledge but also at my behest. As for there being no communication from the board of directors as to your participation online, you had asked that you have no further contact from any member of the organization. We have all been more than respectful of that request and will be more than happy to continue to do so. If you could point me in the direction of which post you would consider libelous, I would very much appreciate the chance to take a look at it and see what, if anything, should be done. Please consider this as confirmation that your continued use of online participation is considered inappropriate at this point in time and for clarification your banning is to continue until Beltane 2018, we have our Beltane weekend currently slated for May 4-6, 2018. Many blessings to you, Brandi Pearson President Deeply Rooted Board of Directors On Tue, Jan 16, 2018 at 12:12 PM, SueEllen Lamb <kayluss@gmail.com> wrote: Good Day Board Members, As my ban has been over for a week or so, I see that I am still blocked from participating online in the community and that Mary under the banner of Deeply Rooted has a libellous post regarding me. That post has been on the public church page. Please remove the post that paint me as someone who has harassed and abuse community members. That is false, and a crime. It should be remove along with a public apology on the site. I understand that the board acted with thier emotions in my banning and not reason or facts and that by pointing this out, I may still receive negative outcome from your community. However as the person I am I will give you the benefit of the doubt that the Board understands thier mistakes made regarding the actions taken toward myself. I will wait a reasonable time for this mistake to be rectified. If after a reasonable time, that being no more than two months, if the libel is still there without a correction and the ability to interaction with the online community not fixed, I will persue other avenues to have the libel addressed As far as the continued harassment by Mary Frampton towards me I understand as an organization you have no interest in that. I am bringing it to your attention because the only interaction I have with her is through your organization. As it is her right to block people on her own pages it is not her right to do so for your organization's pages. As there is and was no board decision to prevent me from participating online, nor was it communicated in the letter of banning, that illustrates the continued harassment from Mary that I have received over the last year. I am asking that you take a look into this issue so it can be resolve. Sincerely SueEllen Lamb SueEllen Lamb <kayluss@gmail.com> 7:22 PM (14 minutes ago) to board, Brandi Hi, No I am not mistaken, I have attended a local event titled Beltaine 2018. Read the letter again it does not give a specific date nor does is say deeply rooted Beltaine event, just Beltaine 2018 which I have attended. So again my ban is over. Unless it is in the Board's intent to not follow the letter of thier ban. I see nothing mentioned regarding the libel posted by Mary on the organization's website I hope that will be resolved. Thank you, SueEllen Lamb. SueEllen Lamb <kayluss@gmail.com> 7:37 PM (0 minutes ago) to Brandi Hello, It seems as though my email has been broken up and did not at first receive all of your message on my mobile. As for asking about no contact from dr I did not not ask for no ability to stay current should I reconsider that state of the community and decide to return. At no such point does that exclude my participation in the online community. Especially since it was not a mandated board desicion for that. As for the post it is pasted below. Posting on events online events was not part of my ban and therefore allowed. It is in black and the restrictions set forth for me. I was ban from event of which I did not attend and ban from the grounds of which I have not set foot on. The ban was for Beltaine 2018, not tied to a date or to a specific organizations event. As it stands I have followed the letter of the ban as recieved from the Board. Deeply Rooted Church September 27, 2017 · As many of you are aware, Tonya Millette has hijacked many of Deeply Rooted's groups, and we are in the process of recovery. We've created new groups that are now the official Deeply Rooted groups, that are linked directly to this page (this page was not compromised). Below are links to the official Deeply Rooted group. Feel free to remove yourself from the old Deeply Rooted group, especially if you are currently not out of the broom closet, for Tonya's actions have exposed all members on that board to public display. http://ift.tt/2DOeNY1 As for the issues that this situation has arisen from, there has been a struggle within the DR leadership for many months now revolving around abusive, harassing and bullying behavior displayed by Tonya Milette, Kirk Anderson, and Sue Lamb. Many attempts have been made both by leadership and members to reason with these individuals, yet they refused to cease their destructive behavior. This situation came to a head at our Mabon Board Meeting. For those that would like to hear the Mabon Board meeting for themselves, you can find a recording at https://www.dropbox.com/s/42wqap9…/2017-Sep-24_10-08-06.wav… and https://www.dropbox.com/s/a1re7rj…/2017-Sep-24_11-44-48.wav… We have numerous online conversations documented, both public and privately (for those that wish to share) that can show the history behind this situation. I'm (Mary Frampton) glad and willing to answer any questions anyone might have, as are the rest of the board members (Wade M, Brandi Pearson, Shahara LeFay, Mike Hoeppner, Nick Wozniak). Please talk to everyone. You will get a clear picture of what's been going on and who is at fault. There are also many people on this list that have witnessed some of the situation as well Feel free to speak up if you wish. Kaylus Faobhor Share Most Recent 1414 1 Share Comments Melissa Galewski Melissa Galewski This is very long and I'm sorry Wade, you are probably the only one that remembers me and my fiancé Matt and my now ex- girlfriend Trish, we were the ones from just outside of Milwaukee WI but my ex has a large property near Ogema. We always managed to join you for Samhain. The last year we were there Tonya performed ritual with the help of a few other people. Those people were fine she however was not. At the very end of the ritual I was on my knees whispering words to the sitting personification of Death 's hem. Tonya violently jerked me to my feet telling me that she would speak to me after the ritual she would be my go between the Gods. It was HER job she was the master of the ritual. She dragged me out of the circle fast. Ignoring my cane and ignoring my cries for her to slow down over the terrain. I'm disabled. I cannot go that fast and I really can't go that fast in the dark. I fell. And she snapped at me to stop being dramatic. I worried the whole night that I did something wrong in " hogging " Lady Death like that. However I was the last one to make sure I could speak to her personification on her most holy of nights. There was also a more personal reason which I won't get into. I was only speaking to her for maybe a minute before Tonya dragged me out and I was horrified. I was so horrified that I did something wrong. I was so horrified I begged her not to tell you that I did something wrong and it was actually her and Lady Death that dragged me to my feet. I still don't know who lady death was but after I begged them not to tell you I made my way back to the fire. It got worse, we had brought a guest that year and Tonya nailed me again coming back from the bathroom. She dragged me back to the dark corner of the main building and started telling me about how she was so sorry to tell me this but my boyfriend was kissing another guy in the woods and feeling him up. When I started laughing she got pissed. I told her we were poly and they were doing waaaay more than that last night. And if she wanted to watch me kiss my girl friend she could come back to the fire. Instead she lambasted me for nearly a half hour about my relationship choices and how he was abusing me. I tried to leave the first five minutes into it. The bitch snatched my cane and I was stuck listening until I started yelling and Oakbear wandered over of all people. And she thrust the cane at me and walked off and I asked Oakbear if there was anything wrong with us being Poly just like the first time we came he said of course not. Just before we left she came up to us at the cars and pulled me to the side and said she was clergy here and Deeply Rooted really wasn't a place for male abusers and aggressive people like me. Maybe I could come back with therapy but not an abuser like my boyfriend. That boyfriend who is now my fiancé. We've been together fourteen years now. We haven't been out since though we have been out to the trailer during ritual weekends. To be honest we were looking at Circle Sanctuary but avoided it because of all the drama. We loved DR and then the drama arrived there and it stayed as I watched the Facebook group and that was only a glimpse. When she opened all the messages up it is indubitably clear that you need to clear the board to the very oldest and most essential members and most importantly Wade M never EVER give the ultimate power to kick people off the land and out of DR up to you. Period. 4 Manage 15w · Edited Deeply Rooted Church Deeply Rooted Church Wade M here, I am so terribly sorry that happened. My failure in dealing with this properly has apparently caused more pain than I knew, I will work to make sure this never repeats Tracie Sage Wood Oh hell what a wacko. I'm surprised you didn't snap and hit her with that cane Manage 15w Melissa Galewski Melissa Galewski Deeply Rooted Church Thank You Wade, I guess seeing how the abuse continued it seems I should have said something sooner but I was so ashamed and embarrassed and I saw that she stayed on as clergy and then as a ruling board member who eventually starte...See More Manage 15w Deeply Rooted Church Deeply Rooted Church I understand the need to back up your friend and the subsequent urge to attack the other person. However, there is absolutely no need to continue this tirade. If you had looked- this post is continuing to fall and your comments have bumped it up to the top of everyone's attention, and I am asking you to please stop. There is enough going without adding more to it. Deeply Rooted Church Shahara here: we have a Women's Weekend coming up October 13-15. Please consider joining us for healing, sharing and joy. (And henna!) If anyone is interested in particular workshops, to present or hoping to hear, please share. Also, we are considering starting either a Facebook or Yahoo group particularly for DR women; if interested please contact me, Mary, Brandi, Kim or anyone involved up here 😊 blessed be! 3 Manage 15w Peggy McDowell Peggy McDowell It was so nice to see you at the Renn Fair. 1 Manage 15w Jake Stephani Jake Stephani You guys seemed nice at PSG, I wish I knew a group that didn't go through stuff like this. Manage 16w 1 Reply Reyna Christian Reyna Christian Wow, I just don't know what to say....I love D.R. and everyone who's apart of it. So to hear what had happened is just crazy. How sad. 🙁 Manage 16w Trevor G. Hanson Trevor G. Hanson Looks like Al and I choose a good time to focus on life stuff. Hope you guys get stuff straitened out soon. 2 Manage 16w Ceiya Dawn Ceiya Dawn I am now thankful that I dragged my feet coming to join you in person. I hope all will settle soon. I look forward to joining you in person at a celebration. Manage 16w ======

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