#and 2 weeks to decide i wanna do it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shukruut · 16 days

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man chappell roan really said it best im so sick of online love

#my bf deciding to study abroad will definitely take the last bit of mental health i had #its so tiring he's always occupied with new things to do and new places to see and im stuck in the same life but without him #and he doesnt even stay up late anymore because everything over there is so important it requires him to have his 8 hours of sleep intact #id be willing to risk sleep if it meant talking to him a good bit before saying goodnight #its not that he doesnt do it it just happened today and im still upset bc #i even got home earlier than i meant to only to talk to him #and i told him id wait for him to finish whatever he was doing so we could talk #not 5 min later i get a goodnight msg from him like mf i was waiting for u so we could talk but no he decided that once whatever he was doi #was done it was time to sleep #fuck me and the pictures i planned to send him i guess #it hasnt even been 2 weeks i dont know how ill put up with these dynamics til december #but get this as well we dont even have a time difference rn its the same hour for both of us bc he is in fucking boston #I'm so tired and I'm so sad and finally all i wanna do is draw to keep my head off this #mega rant #delete later #i love him ok im just.. tired

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candycryptids · 1 month

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Flops over sideways

Soon I’ll get to go home and more importantly eat something. Cos I stupidly packed down and deep cleaned everything in the kitchen several hours ago… ☠️ anything I cook now will make mess.

#the stove looks immaculate if I do much as hint bacon grease onto its surface would kill me personally #day-2-day #I’m so tired I wanna go home TT_TT I woke up at 5 am.#and I’ve decided I’m actually worth 350! a week! for services rendered!

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bonetrousledbones · 4 months

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the thing you all need to understand about writing ebony is that he's like if a middle aged man in an action movie splashing water on his face and glaring in the mirror was freshly 20 years old and also kind of an anime girl

#trousled rambles #atbb #ebony #fauxfell #like he would definitely have one of Those mirror scenes (minus the broken glass probably)#but also at least 2 of his poses were referenced from monika doki doki literature club #ahem . yeah ive been doing a good bit of writing lately to avoid doing the drawing stuff dont worry about it #the hardest part is i'm gonna have to decide 1. which ones actually get posted and 2. what order to even post em in lmao #i almost wanna put in More Secrets but also i am freshly off of finals and i'll be adding like 1 extra week to finish the event off #i do not need to be fucking with more html rn . but What If

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buglaur · 2 years

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sophie aged up to a teen and theo's maxed out his parenting skill!

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bucephaly · 8 months

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tumblr weirdos engage with art in ways other than 'this is just like [media]' challenge

#this is some book that came out like 2 weeks ago and idk idc but it sure looks like some random booktok bullshit #cuz yea thats what i want people taking away from the very personal story i was trying to tell and message i was trying to get across #i love hearing that #fuck i know i should just expect it but it pisses me offff #and im also getting people going 'this is so [project of theirs]' or smth like #idk. it feels like you just engage with art sometimes to see what you can take and use in your own things #and the taking isnt a bad thing but maybe see what the other person actually was doing before you just glance at it #and decide you wanna use it without even understanding the choices the original artist was making and why

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indigodawns · 5 months

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#been sitting here for 1.5 hours now trying to decide if i should go see my friend as promised #or not. basically i texted earlier like heyy sorry can we do tomorrow im all over the place (mentally extra unstable*) i don't wanna #make you deal with that #but she said she might not be able to do tomorrow and she's told me she hates when ppl cancel bc so many ppl have been #cancelling on her and yk. feels bad. so i really should go but im also just. ???#idk what it was but today is just so not it ive been crying a bunch and barely working and i v much needed #my noise cancelling headphones on the train and then i just kept them on for 1 #and then i just kept them on when i got home and ive just been on my bed scrolling and trying to decide dhsjsjdjd #yes i was supposed to work 8 hours today 💀💀💀#so that's the other part like if i go see my friend i know tomorrow will probably be rougher and i also need to work then yk #ugh anyways i should go we can just chill im sure #* headphone context for myself bc im just like 🤨🤨 am i just kinda sad and tired today or do i really need to rest #anyways. Thoughts? dhsjjdjdjd #other context is that my friend rly isn't doing good at all and i haven't seen her in a week and it's been #even longer since we could talk 1 on 1 #like 2 weeks rip #maybe i just need food tbh ive mostly had sugary stuff today rip

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opens-up-4-nobody · 8 months

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#love that my body decided to incapacitate me the weekend before i have to read 5 different papers for classes #and it would b one thing to just read them but no for 3 of them i have to give detailed interpretation and 1 i have to present on #ive already failed to read one bc i forgot we had to do 2 papers for monday. oops. not that i could have done it anyway. i barely got 1 done #and im on track to fucking up the one due Tomorrow as well #im just fucking tired of reading fucking chemistry driven papers that i dont understand no matter how many times i read them #and everyones like oh itll get easier but no it fucking wont bc i cant fucking read right #its so fucking frustrating. why do i even bother? im so tried #i don't even have the paper im supposed to present on so ill have to do it all tomorrow. cool. great. not that i could do it today anyway #im just. this is gonna b a difficult week #and i misused my whole day by doing extractions bc i scheduled my training a week ago when i thought i would b fine over the weekend #nope. its fucking bullshit. this is y im like. y do i even want to b in academia?#how could i b a prof if i cant read well? its fine to b dyslexic as a math person but im like i have to read so much and so little gets thru #but then what the fuck else am i supposed to do? idk. im just gonna write down something for all these questions and go tf to sleep #ill get up at some horrible time in the morning to finish this. damn the consequences. ill see my therapist tomorrow anyway #and meet with my advisor like 🤪 yo guess what i made zero progress this week #sorry u got stuck with me while im going thru a year of fucking health problems #but whatever cant get rid of me now im already here. here and tired and i wanna go to bed #unrelated

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paleangels13 · 2 months

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Helloo, I still exist did anyone even notice I was mostly gone lol

Anyone interested in ehhh...slightly unhinged work-related talk?

No?

Well. Too bad

Anyone that knows me irl please ignore the tags – I'm embarrassed ✨🥰

#I said ignore the tags #please ignore them #I'm serious #alright soooo...i started this new job about 1 1/2 months ago... It's not great or anything neither is the payment but it's alright #also I can walk there from home bc it's so close by which is nice I guess #anywayyy it's a grocery store owned and run by a family (my boss and his wife + their 2 (3??) adult children)#now my boss is kinda hard to figure out I always think he's annoyed which makes me insecure but I think that's just how he is idk lol #but he isn't rude or anything (at least I never noticed??)#his wife seems nice and so does (one of) their daughter(s(?))#his son – who is idk probably in his early 30s?? could also be late 20s but I can't guess people's age – is the manager #he's nice as well I think and he even jokes around with (some of) the employees from time to time #either way...this is all rather irrelevant. Point is some part of me has decided to be uhhh weird about him in the past week ig #and I don't think that feeling was there before?? Idk I don't consider him attractive or anything (at least I don't think I do??) + he's #married (?? He's definitely taken) and has two children I think judging from his profile picture in our work-app at least and like I said #he could also be quite a bit older (I mean...yk)#anywayyy i am being weird about him and something within me turned into teenager mode or whatever and iiiiiiii don't know what to do lol #not that it's really a big deal I suppose it's just that he's my boss' son and my supervisor/manager/superior/?? which makes thoughts #outside of work weird (:#no i will not elaborate #alright tag rant over I'm not sure I really wanna post this this feels awkward to post publicly hah :')#will probably delete later #someone send help #((:

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dangaer · 2 months

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just in time for amnes.ia month ....

#❛ 𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 ⧽ — ooc.#this isnt all my drafts nor is it all amnesia but honestly its nice to feel productive--- FHDJSADFGHDJSK #the first week has like musings and images mixed in but it ends on like two days full of just writing posts #ill decide if i wanna do things on truethes now or my longer posts but those are next on the to do list ... either way this is pretty cool #for my standards and im so happy i can see it here.#hopefully no typos i studied every draft like 2-3 times

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heartbeatbookclub · 8 months

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I might make a poll or something to help me decide what to dedicate my energy towards once I'm finished penning these little essays I've got cooking.

Decision would be between finishing Coil, writing mini domestic fics I've been tossing concepts around for, and maybe drawing.

I also have longer fic concepts I'd like to play around with, but I'd prefer to finish Coil first before doing those.

#it's tough for me to decide when i have so many things i wanna do at once lmao #i know like 3 of you would see it but id prefer to have somebody else solve my executive dysfunction #to be clear id probably still be doing work on coil. itd just mean id put my full attention on it for a week like i did #with the first 2 chapters lmao

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delicatetaysversion · 5 months

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my sister called me and kept asking excitedly that what's happening in my life and

#like life as in. i can't say love life but like you know what's happening with the guys and the girls #girl #and i was so tired #am so tired #i just made up an excuse that im too physically tired too talk to cut the call and told her id call her back but i won't #i want to okay i really do I want to hear about her life what's going on but she's not that type of person jinke saamne #i can just divert the topic from myself avoid talking about me she's determined and caring like that😭#just. kya batau main #i spent the whole day working but really if i stopped doing anything for like 2 minutes all the last convos i had with everyone i #liked loved whatever started replaying in my head constantly making me feel all down and sad in public yk that empty heaviness inside chest #i mean. what is there to say. i feel truly pathetic #everyone just keeps leaving me. they decide one day that oh nope she's not for me not interesting anymore doesn't understand is too much #draining and destroys my peace and then they leave #it doesn't even matter the weight of the relationship #whether it's been a year of being in love or two weeks of talking till 5 am or a week of wishing me good morning and good night #every day. it doesn't matter they leave and they leave and they leave and they don't look back and im left to pick up the pieces go on #pretend to be okay and normal and fucking focused on like. studying accounts as if my heart isn't breaking #into a million tiny pieces everytime #i don't know how to tell her. the sister you love so much the sister you can't live without imagine life without. the #sister who you thought about holding on for because you couldn't do that to her leave her alone when you had suicidal thoughts. she's #she's actually deeply unlovable undateable unfuckable and like truly lonely and easy to let go of #i know she loves me and i know my bestfriend loves me and she would fall apart if i wasn't there for her #but it's not enough. i really wish it was. but it's okay it's enough for now it's enough to keep me going it's enough to make me not wanna #die yk? like i don't love myself enough to live for myself get better for myself but they need me so i need to be okay be happy because i #need them to be happy. and they're happy when im happy #does that make sense #okay bye i should really start writing a diary

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larrysballetslippers · 7 months

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#I haven't been online much #i live on discord and my mental health has been declining by the day #i hate the people that are supposed to be my friends in uni #and I hate myself for keeping up this act that I don't #im anxious all the time and I feel like depression is for real approaching #im going to the uni therapist in a few weeks as I decided that it might be good to get tips on being stable #i made an appointment when I was doing well three or four weeks ago #well this week was the intake meeting and bro bro I can't believe myself #i spent a year crying and growing and healing and everything and Im still at this shitty place #and the worst is that I know I have grown and that I am doing much better but I don't see any results #I don't necessarily feel better in my skin because I haven't struggled eith my body since high school #yeah I guess I know self worth now but do I still hurt myself by staying in that friend group yes #yeah Im more confident asked many people out but I have gotten to date two which you couldn't even call date 2 #well here I am still fucking crying about the same things #i guess life is like that but I'm just as sick of this life as I am of my anxiety #already cancelling plans and things I wanna do because of anxiety #so just fuck my life Im the only one standing in my way but im the biggest obstacle #will I ever be good? i guess we will see

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nordic-language-love · 1 year

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Do you prefer self studying or studying with a tutor

I feel like they accomplish different purposes and are not in any way mutually exclusive. I take classes with tutors, but I also do a lot of self-study.

For me, there are two ways a tutor can function: 1) As someone to introduce concepts 2) As a resource for practising productive language and getting feedback

If you study exclusively with a tutor without doing self-study, your progress will be very limited. When I was teaching on italki, it was always painfully obvious which students expected to get fluent in English just by coming to my classes once or twice a week because they never improved. Even now, working with kids in a classroom environment, it's clear which ones study outside the classroom, which ones engage with native content and which ones don't bother. I would say you can learn a language more effectively through self-study alone than with a tutor/classes alone.

That being said, I do like having a tutor. I like having someone who is being paid to sit through my shit grammar and help me express my thoughts coherently. I like having someone who can answer my questions about the differences between A and B. Some people can happily talk to native speakers and ask strangers on apps to help them do that, but I would never be so bold lmao.

I also mentioned a tutor can introduce concepts. I found this really helpful when I first decided to get more serious about Japanese because Japanese is so different from my native language that I felt kinda lost trying to self-study. Having a tutor guiding me through a structured syllabus gave me a better idea of the language's foundations and how to apply some of the grammar I'd kinda half-learned myself. When I was B1/B2 in Norwegian, I wasn't really sure what I needed to learn or improve on and I struggled to see progress, so having a course to follow really helped me at that time.

BUT… having said that… I don't like group classes, especially for beginners. I would take self-study with no tutor over going on a course (generally speaking). The reason being such courses are designed to be as generic as possible in order to be relevant to as many people as possible. So instead of learning how to talk about topics I'm interested in, I'm forced to talk about shit like my family (no thank you), work (fine if you have a 9-5, not if your job is unconventional), sport (I don't play sports) and going to the cinema (I don't watch movies). For my Spanish exam a couple of years ago I had to write "advice for having the perfect party" and I was like do I LOOK like I go to parties. So I find them super boring. Not to mention 90% of the class is going over what a basic grammar concepts in English are or listening to my classmates slowly and painfully mispronounce everything.

So, in answer to your question… I prefer having a tutor to not having a tutor. But self-study is absolutely necessary even with a tutor, and I'd personally choose self-study over a generic "one size fits all" course.

#i was tempted to do the japanese intensive course here #but decided not to for the reasons stated above #plus i didn't wanna spend 3 hours of my morning in a classroom when i have to spend 5 hours of my afternoon/evening in one #i just know from experience i prefer to study languages on my own terms y'know #also i wanted to do beginner 2 but apparently they don't let you just jump in at beginner 2 and you have to do beginner 1 #and i was like. no fuck that i'm not spending weeks learning shit i can already do

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transgaysex · 2 years

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amount of people ive had a hand in getting kicked out of a college gay club: 2

#wind howls #um. its not a goal of mine its just surprising that its happened twice #the first time was half for racism accusations and half for transphobia ? and also bc the girl didnt believe women were oppressed anymore ?#which is worrisome considering she was also in the feminism club. but not my business i guess that was like 3 years ? 2 years ago #but anyway remember last week when i was upset out of my mind and liveblogging racism live from gay club.#i talked to an admin and after they talked abt it with the other admins the person is likely getting the boot + theyre bringing in-#the schools social workers to make the rules against racism more strict (or at least enforce those better)#in the first case i wasnt the only one who witnessed it (a big argument happened in the messenger group and then miss girl decided-#she wanted to be transphobic towards me specifically so she got her ass kicked out after i talked 2 the admins) but this time around like #i wasnt the only one there ? but i guess im the only one who reported it or smthn idk. either way i dont go around telling admins-#'hey man kick this person out. heres all the shit they did and i want them out' i just tell them what happened and leave it in their hands #i guess im not used still in people actually taking me seriously and the other party actually like. gettinf a serious consequence #im always expecting them to just get a slap on the wrist. anyway #i hope this makes white people in the gay club more afraid of what theyre gonna say next when it comes to race !#because im sick of them getting too comfortable ! you wanna act racist ? do that outside and stay there. anyway #this was just an update on that whole thing. leaving it to rest noe

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drabbleswithdragons · 1 year

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I'm allergic to so many foods there may literally be no feeding tube formula that I can have ahahaha

#i dont want a central line i dont want one! i dont want it.#but i *also* dont want to be so fucking depressed that yeah my Basic Nutrition labs are wnl but im still falling asleep standing up #hair falling out losing weight etc etc but hey your zinc and iron are normal! you cant stay awake for more than 2 hours at a time and youre #miserable mentally and physically to the point you wanna die a little but hey! this one blood test i did was normal #cross your fingers that this dietician is good on tuesday. because she will decide what happens next #like hello sepsis risk as long as i can Feel Happiness again #oh no if she prescribed one on tuesday it would be set up that week and i would have to figure out how to keep a sterile field several times #a day with 6 other people in the house including a 3 year old an extra dog and my own cats. im going to say i cant handle it and then i #am going to handle it like i always do and have a breakdown to my therapist later its Fine

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mars-ipan · 1 year

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i sometimes think that in spite of my mental stuff i have a very good handle on myself and especially my impulsivity and then i look at how i consume media

#marzi speaks #for the past few months i have looked at nothing new. none of the things i love took up a huge space in my mind #earlier this week i decided i was gonna start listening to wtnv again #i also decided i was finally ready to watch qsmp #so i am now doing both. at the same time #my desire to create has come back with a vengeance as well. i do not normally make 2 pieces in a week #and now i’m brainstorming on a 3rd!#my strat has been watch as much qsmp as possible while doodling to maintain attention span #then work on whatever art i want to make and use wtnv as background noise #i have gone from Nothing to Turbo mode #why? i legit think it’s the anxiety. also maybe the adhd i still think i might have #i’ve been busy all summer and thinking abt college bc i move out in like 7 days #so i haven’t had brain capacity for this stuff #now though? with it so close? i’m antsy #i’m restless constantly. i don’t even wanna go to bed i wanna Do Something (nothing to do)#so i’m giving my brain as much to chew on as physically possible so it can not panic about a maior milestone in my life lmao #it’s working! it’s enough for my brain to juggle so i don’t get bored and start Thinking too much #but damn. funny how this little mind works #sometimes i do not feel fully in control lmao. i usually do but sometimes #escapism. my true vice <3. i could never hate you but damn. like damn dude

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