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#and 2) stopping them from fighting the war
prinzrupprecht · 1 day
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To Live or Die
Chapter 4 - unexpected outcomes
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If you’re new please read from the beginning!
Synopsis Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3
TW: violence and PTSD mentions
WC: 1056
You were angry at a few of the customers earlier which resulted in you leaving the shop to clear your head. You traveled down the pier towards the docks where many cargo ships were. It was a nice sunny day but there was something else that made you frown. You had told your uncle a few times that you were unhappy but not with him. You were constantly agitated and isolating yourself from people who came into the shop who knew your uncle.
One was a nice girl your age who you wanted to get to know, but something in you made you leave the shop due to some frequent reminders of your past. You can’t even socialize properly, and to make things worse you regret everything you wrote in the letter you sent. Souji didn’t even write back… did you upset him? You were itching on sending another but you didn’t want to embarrass yourself. You were constantly putting yourself down and that you were better off alone.
You had long forgiven him even after he left. He had nothing to apologize for. He wanted to fight to protect his friends and beliefs. They needed him the most because of his swordsmanship. It was a miracle how some of them lived and escaped the war. You wondered how he got away with Kondo…
While still in a train of thought, as you trailed down the street minding your own business, you bumped into someone while you were on your way back to your uncle’s shop. “Huh, sorry—" you mumbled and tried to push past whoever you bumped into and carry on your walk, but they grabbed your arm to get a good look at you.
“Wait a minute—! I know you!” he spoke with a lot of disgust. Know you? People around you were scattering from the commotion this man was causing. It was frightening you and you wanted to get away from him.
“You’re the bitch that shot and killed my friend!” He wouldn’t let go of your arm and it was terrifying you to the point of panicking and screaming for help.
“Get off me! Le— Let go of me! I— I don’t know what you’re talking about!” The man was pulling you somewhere and you were certain he was going to kill you.
“Kishi-san, would you be kind enough to let go of my niece and we can talk somewhere else?” Your uncle saw the commotion which was a huge relief but the man still wouldn’t let go of your arm.
The man was fuming and yanked my body forward. “How about we talk right here, Arashi.” He called your uncle by his given name while pulling out a revolver and pointing it at him.
You were stunned why someone would be threatening both of your lives in the middle of the day. “No, please—" you squeezed your eyes shut but was interrupted by something hitting you across the side of your head. He smacked you down with the gun and a small amount of blood trickled down the side of your head. You gasped for air but was shaking from the trauma you had suffered in the past from ronin who acted like this.
Your uncle called out of your name but the man pointed the revolver at him to not move. “Maybe we should settle this right here and right now, don’t ya’ think?” You wanted to scream but nothing came out. You sat on the ground hoping someone would stop this criminal. People around you wouldn’t dare to intervene with this deranged man.
“If it’s money, Kishi—" your uncle was interrupted when the man was suddenly pushed down and you tumbled forward.
You had closed your eyes and heard a gunshot fire and people nearby were scattering away in a panic. There was rarely any police force down in Yokohama, it was part of the reason why crime was high where you were at. As terrified as you were and refusing to look to see if your uncle was dead, someone had touched your shoulder. “Kondo-san?!” Your uncle’s voice made you look up seeing Kondo smiling down at you.
The man who had attacked you earlier was already lying unconscious. “He— he’s not dead right?” You asked but you couldn’t help but wonder if Kondo was here then that would mean…
“No, I just knocked the gun away from his hand and Souji had knocked him out— oh where did he go?” Kondo looked around and noticed he had disappeared. “Maybe he went to notify the authorities.” Kondo looked at your uncle and asked if you both were okay. You were incredibly thankful he came or else you both would’ve been dead.
A frown tugged at your lips. So he did save your life. You could never repay him even if you wanted.
“Th— Thanks to you both…" you were embarrassed as you moved to stand beside your uncle. Souji was still nowhere in sight.
“I’m back, Kondo-san.” Your heart dropped when you heard his voice from behind. You could’ve sworn you were frozen in place and everything felt slow around you. He was standing near the two police officers who were arresting the unconscious man and taking him away. So he did leave to get the authorities… your heart must’ve been beating twice the normal rate. Were you even ready to talk to him in person? You could barely write letters.
He looked the same but instead of the usual purple kimono, he was wearing a red one this time and no haori. He still wore the checkered scarf you had gifted him a few years back. When his gaze met yours, you immediately turned away from the embarrassment. You couldn’t deny how cute he still looked. The only thing that bothered you was not knowing how to talk to him. Why did he have to come down here?
Your uncle suggested to return to his shop and catch up. “O–Oh right,” you mumbled but you could still feel his eyes on you when you look away. Was he shy to talk to you? You knew the walk back would be silent and awkward. He wanted to say something but you were the one acting aloof.
How would you possibly get over your fears and act normal again?
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Note: I sort of want to do AU text message stuff for the lolz…
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andie-platonically · 2 days
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Fantasy High characters as songs by The Mountain Goats
1. Kristen Applebees - Before I Got There
“And the tapestry above / Torn down, trampled then re-hung / Now illegible forever / An oracle with no tongue/ All of this, all of this / All of this before I got there”
I think this song so perfectly mirrors Kristen’s relationship with both Cassandra and Ankarna. Like, both of them had been corrupted and used to further other people’s evil plans with no regard to their original followers’ intent. Until Kristen arrived. Until she lovingly restored them to their original forms with such respect to why they were created, and her compassion is one of my favorite things about her character.
2. Riz Gukgak - Ground Level
“You can light a cigarette / against the cooktop if you need to / feel the heat against your forehead / let it bleed through / you’re never gonna get by / on three hours of sleep a night / unless you absolutely have to / and then you get by alright.”
I almost picked Bones Don’t Rust, which you should also add to your Riz character playlist but I went with this one instead. We see Riz take up smoking in Junior Year, we see him not sleeping and overworking himself throughout the series, and I think a lot of that does come from a place of going beyond his breaking point, steadfastly refusing to break, and thinking that means he’s okay.
3. Fabian Seacaster - Wage Wars Get Rich Die Handsome / Great Pirates
I’m cheating and giving Fabian two songs because he changes so much throughout the series. Here’s the first one:
“Stay independent, make adjustments as needed / it’s losers all the way down, you stay undefeated / wage wars, get rich, die handsome.”
I think this song is peak Fabian from Freshman Year. It references motorcycle riding, the narrator genuinely thinks he’s such hot shit, and I mean like, come on. Wage wars, get rich, die handsome. It’s literally perfect. But Fabian grows. He changes. So here’s the second song I picked for him:
“On the morning when I stop looking back / I’ll be up to see the sunrise in deep, bruise black / And bright, blood red / And pale desert rose / And several other colors like those / great pirates, testing the waves.”
Okay, so obviously it was fun to use a Mountain Goats song with pirates in it, but also, I interpret this song as being about moving on from your past and looking towards an uncertain future. So much of Fabian’s arc has been him figuring out who he is beyond his dad’s legacy, and so I think this song works really well with that. (I probably could have picked any Jenny from Thebes song and it would have a lot of those themes, but come on, pirates!)
4. Fig Faeth - Cry for Judas
“Speed up to the precipice / and then slam on the breaks / some people crash two or three times / And then learn from their mistakes / But we are the ones who don’t slow down at all / and there’s nobody there to catch us when we fall.”
I think Fig’s self destructive tendencies are more evident early on in the series (see: all her affairs with middle-aged men) but honestly, the way she puts herself on the front lines again and again for her friends is just as destructive imo. Also, this song gives such difficult child-energy, and I think sometimes this is how Sandralynn sees her. This kid who didn’t deal with her curse because it didn’t seem important when her friends had other things going on. This kid who skips her classes, is straight-edge except for drugs. This kid who was knocked unconscious in her first combat and wanted everyone to think she spent the whole time fighting.
5. Adaine Abernant - Up the Wolves
“I’m gonna get myself in fighting trim / scope out every angle of unfair advantage / I’m gonna bribe the officials, I’m gonna kill all the judges / It’s gonna take you people years to recover from all of the damage.”
Trigger warning to those who need it: Sunset Tree is about abuse, which is obviously quite prevalent in Adaine’s arc Freshman/Sophomore Year. It was between this and Lion’s Teeth. What I like about this song for Adaine is that it is tragic, of course it’s tragic, but it also shows her rage, not just for herself but for Aelwyn too. This is a girl who took what her parents did to her and said that’s not fair and punched her dad so hard in the face that he died. I also think that given how Adaine’s relationship with her mother is so much more complicated, the other parts of this song work well with that.
6. Gorgug Thistlespring - The Slow Parts on Death Metal Albums
“Drive home alone and listen to the slow parts / In a new universe / trying to find the mask that still fits me / shaking the curse.”
I’m gonna be so real, I really struggled with this one because I just don’t relate to Gorgug as much, but I’m so infatuated with the idea that he listens to the slow parts of death metal albums, and I do think that this song, to me, fits the fact that Gorgug doesn’t really fit the roles anyone expects from him. He’s not just a mindless raging half-orc, he’s also kind and shy and gentle and loving. But he does have a lot of rage and he reacts violently at times and his parents love him but they don’t always know what to do with that.
Bonus song! Jawbone - Midland
“Come and stay with me as long as you like / I live outside of town where the straight highway curves / three years I lived next door to the airport / so nothing you can say to me can get on my nerves.”
Jawbone collects fucked up teens like pokemon cards, so I every time I hear this song I think of him. Also, the way the narrator of this song gives the subject time and space to go through things and assures them that yeah, I’ll still be here, is so very Jawbone-coded imo. Also, later in the song, he says “stay till you can grieve like normal people do / I’ve got room, room in my house for you.” Like, every line of this song is just so Jawbone I need y’all to understand.
Bonus song #2! The Bad Kids - When a Powerful Animal Comes
“Speak in gestures only we can understand / we’ve made mistakes / everyone spots their own mess / when the dawn breaks / we get so exhausted / lost kids, just wasted / sleep in short shifts then rise to our feet / life is short and life is hard and life is sweet.”
This song is the most Bad Kids shit I’ve ever heard in my life. If it’s not in your Bad Kids playlist, you gotta add it now and Weary Adventures by Skull Puppies haha anyway It’s just literally so perfect. It’s just these kids with the weight of the world on their shoulders, so fucking tired of saving the world. It’s literally the overall arc of Junior Year!
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windywriter · 3 days
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Who has Pathetic Worm Energy when in a relationship
ROUND 2 BC I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED THE FIRST ONE
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Definitions/explanations under read more because this got LONG
Definitions: What is Pathetic worm energy?
To me Pathetic Worm energy has two definitions
The act of making a fool out of ones self in order to receive affection/pity from a loved one/romantic partner
The over correction one makes in order to avoid making a fool out of oneself in front of a loved one/potential romantic partner.
One's general pathetic energy for both funny and unfunny reasons.
Potential Pathetic Worm Energy:
A bit self explanatory but I feel that these characters have potential to be silly but only in certain situations. Additionally, this definition includes portrayals/characterizations that I personally find are close enough to canon that I could imagine it happening without straying too far.
Tsundere:
These characters will only show a softer (wormier) side to them under very specific circumstances and feel as though they have a reputation to uphold.
Other:
These ones I feel either do not fit into any of the categories listed above or I just do not have a firm grasp on their character.
Explantations
Has Pathetic worm energy:
Some of these characters are a bit obvious (Takemichi, Shinichiro, Akkun) however, I would like to explain why I put a few characters on here.
Kisaki: I feel like Kisaki fits into the over correction definition because when you look at what he did on paper, its kinda pathetic. He started all this shit, ruined friendships, orchestrated literal gang wars, killed/had innocent civilians killed all just to show one person, who didnt even really like him, how great he was.
Shion: Mainly because of how boisterous he is about his position only to get sandbagged multiple times throughout the story. And while the same could be said about the Haitani brothers, I feel like Shion's lack of charisma sort of gives him a different kind which pushes him to the top.
Takeomi: I feel he more fits the third definition. This is mainly because, despite the fact that he was moved to tears by Senju's genuine conviction he still fell to his greedy nature. And honestly, if that isnt textbook tragedy I dont know what is.
Has potential Pathetic worm energy:
Okay, these ones will require a little more explanation.
Rindou: For him, I have seen interesting interpretations of his character where he has a bit of an inferiority complex due to being stuck in his older brother's shadow. Which I find very interesting as it gives his character depth and a good contrast to Angry and Hakkai during their fight. However, I did not put him in the top tier because it is an interpretation and i feel like Rindou would only show that side in reaction to being compared to his brother rather than naturally doing it.
Mikey: While he is spoiled and possessive I feel like those traits only apply when he isnt locked in. I am also not including the other Mikeys because I feel like there isnt much to go off of. Though I guess Botan Mikey would probably be in "Pathetic worm" tier but for less funny haha reasons and more "This dude genuinely needs help" reasons.
Ran: Like Rindou, I feel like he'd probably only show a more cutesy spoiled side to him if it was calculated beforehand. He is the Charisma of Roppongi. However, I have also seen interpretations where the person he was trying to charm manage to outwit him (unwittingly or not) and leave him surprised. Which honestly, I find the gap moe very cute. Its fun to see The Ruler of Roppongi Ran Haitani left flabbergasted by someone he thought he had dancing in the palm of his hand.
Kazutora + Sanzu: I put these two together because while their obsessions are adjacent to Pathetic Worm territory, I feel like what stops them from going to that tier is the fact that they are incredibly dangerous people. And while that may sound rich coming from a tier list about Tokyo Revengers, with characters like the Haitani brothers on it, I feel like Kazutora and Sanzu ( particularly Botan Sanzu) are on a different level because they are willing to get their hands dirty and are not able to be talked down if you were to try to talk to them when they are in a certain headspace. So less funny haha, more "Oh God I need to get away now."
Takuya Yamamoto: Hes mainly here on the virtue of being apart of the Mizo Middle Five (Makoto is in the same tier is just forgot about him). However what holds him back from being at the top is his laid back nature. Yes he probably would act like a fool, but I feel like he wouldnt go too overboard. And I feel like hes too laid back to really worry about his reputation. Truly, hes probably the freest person here.
Peh-yan:
What convinced me about him for this position is his relationship with Yasuda and their dynamic. Its very sweet how far he went to help the sewing club.
Kakucho: The reason I put him here is because while he is very loyal and I can imagine that resulting in some entertaining scenarios, I also feel like Kakucho has a really bad habit of codependency. Additionally, I feel like hes just so sincere that he could say the sappiest pickup line and you'd still think hes cool.
Inupi: Mainly for similar reasons as Kakucho. However, I feel like what holds him back is instead is his kinda deadpan expression. So while he might say some out of pocket stuff, he says it so matter-of-factually you'll be the one reacting instead of him.
Angry: Like Rindou, I feel like he has a sort of natural inclination towards being spoiled being the baby of the family. However, what stops him from joining Hakkai is his eternal grimace + hes decently sensible so i doubt he'd go too far.
Senju:
I feel like she approaches Worm energy I feel like her sincerity + natural charisma tips the scales a little.
Izana: Honestly, I think he'd rather die than be perceived as having a flaw in any way. He has his moments, but I doubt he'd make that much of a big deal out of them. And if anyone tried well, theyl'll probably wake up with a few missing teeth, and loved ones.
Tsundere:
Draken: I feel like while he certainly does have his cute moments (especially with Emma). I feel like his straightfoward nature keeps him from truly indulging in the silly.
Smiley: Now, this is purely speculative but I feel like because Smiley tends to hide parts of himself in order to look cool
Baji: While he is quite honest with himself, I remember in the boyfriend tier list for Touman he was mentioned to be a bit tsundere so i put him here.
Hanma, Mochizuki, South: With how inscrutable Hanma is its sort of hard to pin him down. As for Mochizuki and South, I dont have a very good grasp of their characters so I dont feel very confident about them. Sorry.
Other:
Mitsuya, Yuzuha, Naoya, Benkei, Wakasa, Muto, Pah: I feel like they would just kinda be normal? Like, they'll have their cute moments but I dont think they'd go out of their way to act like fool to impress their partner.
Taiju: Excluding his habit of expressing "love" via violence, I feel like Taiju is so straight laced that he probably doesnt have a reason to do much outside of the basics for a relationship.
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kvetchinglyneurotic · 5 months
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if flint from episode 1 was magically granted all the knowledge and memories he had in episode 38 do you think it would change anything
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doodlboy · 1 year
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Yk realistically if the om bros were fucked up like demons should be, they wouldn't be that disturbed by bloodlust el's personality.
However, I think the terror and angst comes from the fact that they lived with him his whole life, and for the most part, he was very passive and calm and never immediately resorted to violence, so to see [what used to be] their human revel in bloodshed is.. unsettling.
#bc they loved him for being human#being kind!! he was their connection to the entirety of humanity bc he loved people. bc he was human#they knew he was going to die eventually bc he's mortal. to them his life feels like minutes passing by 2 their immortality#[the universe where he turns in2 bloodlust el is the 1 where solomon can't reproduce the accidental immortality spell he used on himself]#[so el dies of old age after a full life of the devildom and his partners and magic]#so- imagine you die. your life was full and complex and loving#and [for a reason i haven't decided on yet] heaven/the celestial realm wipes your memory of all of that shit and u turn in2 a blank slate#2 be molded and shaped into something befitting an “angel”#then u start getting your memory back and you damn near start another war bc you're so pissed off you fight god & actually land a hit#which gets u cast out of the heaven and when you go crashing into hell you land smack dab in the middle of the garden#that belongs 2 the ppl who once loved you#but when u crashed you fucked up your head and now you're “wrong”#different from the human these people want you to be. and you hide away. they make you feel like a monster when you can't stop it#and get imprisoned for it. then used as essentially a court jester/executioner bc the prince needed to do *something* with you#fucked up#they wouldn't care if he was just another demon. but he's what remains of the human they loved yk#so it's more disturbing#anyway long ramble over#elliot rambles#obey me#obey me mc#obey me demon mc#obey me demon oc#avatar of bloodlust#demon elliot oc
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i think we're not talking enough about how when crowley drives away in the last episode he DRIVES UNDER THE SPEED LIMIT
#crowley#rewatched the last 2 episodes again and im positive the next season will have aziraphale trying his best to thwart the second coming#from inside heaven using bureaucracy and technicalities also that metatron has got a plot significant reason for going to such lengths to#get aziraphale#maybe because they could be strong enough to stop them destroying earth if they do miracles together because they're powerful as fuck#and he wants the second coming to happen#in my head we start off with aziraphale puttering about making plans and all and its rather funny and then we switch to crowley after#sndjdjendndndndndndndwatched the last 2episoded again. watched them. again.#anyone notice how we see how they're really like when not made to be someone they're not or do something they dont want to#ughh like how aziraphale likes to always move about doing something or the other with always a Goal in mind#and is polite bur also bitchy and bossy and stubborn and crowley mostly just hangs around him and watches whatever he does#loved aziraphale in this. hated how in the last episode we see how SURE they both are that they're on the same page about how they should#be together ideally.#like. theyre so sure the other person will say yes. aziraphale already said yes to bitchatron. crowley set up the nightingale song#i think this entire thing is to have aziraphale let go of the idea that heaven is inhenrently good and better than hell#devastating but. needs to happen#anyway. cant wait for season 3. they'll probably end up staying on earth. crowley was willing to leave earth bur aziraphale wanted to stay#and fix it from within. i think the best ending wouldn't be if they ended up running away to a random planet?#it would be perfect if they stayed on earth after fighting heaven and hell along with humanity and winning the war#if they're gonna fight on the side of humanity against heaven and hell we actually need azira out of heaven. mr angel pls come back#good omens
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wild-at-mind · 11 months
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Seeing some posts on my dash that are kind of in the wheelhouse of the stuff I was just posting about. I really like their posts normally and I don't want to unfollow but :/.
#it's a certian kind of rhetoric#like honestly i don't talk about this but i got kind of a bit...radicalised into some antisemitic beliefs at one point in about 2016#because i didn't know what i was talking about or understand how antisemitism works#a lot of this makes me think of a horrible murder case in the uk that caused an outpourting of right wing radicalisation#lee rigby was a white soldier who was off-duty when he was attacked and killed by two British Nigerians who claimed#to be avenging Muslims kill by the British army.#i mention this because it's long enough ago to not be super fresh and raw in people's minds#and because it makes me think many things at once and none of them contradict each other.#1. this murder was from day 1 basically tailor-made to incite far right hatred and that is terrifying to all Muslims in Britain#and all black Brits too.#2. Lee was a human being and did not deserve to die#3. a lot of the valorising of Lee as a person focuses on his position in the army fighting for queen and country and help for our heroes#and as someone who does not like the armed forces and is anti-war i find this rhetoric troubling and likely to become very jingoistic#4. Lee's mother had to go to the press MULTIPLE TIMES asking people to please please PLEASE not taint the memory of her beloved son#by using what happened to him to incite hatred of Muslims even more than what was already happening in the UK at that time#Ok list over now with all of that do you think that anyone at all who claimed that Lee's attack was some kind of justified revenge#would have been helping the cause of Muslims at all? ESPECIALLY if it came from a white British non-Muslim lefty type??#If you said this do you think a Muslim terrified of being attacked in 'revenge' for Lee would have cheered you on?#Or would they have wanted you to stop deliberately making tensions worse??#ETA i realised i never returned to the point about me being radicalised- i had to do better and i hope i have fully moved away from that.#the thing is saying that it's wrong for you to be asked to mourn for the terrorism victims in Israel is kinda right#for the same reason no one should have been forced to perform grief for lee rigby to seem virtuous#but also it's your duty especially if you are someone without any ties to Israel or Palestine#to not make tensions worse at a time when they are incredibly inflamed already
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ampleappleamble · 7 months
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haven't seen this on here yet so:
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in case you don't want to slog through the shitscape that is the bird/letter website, take a peek beneath the cut (shamelessly copied from the something awful forums dungeon meshi thread)
- Her first memory of video games was watching her father playing Wizardry on Famicom, also Dragon Quest, Ultima, and Fire Emblem among others.
- She was a difficult child so her parents didn't let her play. Wizardry is a boring game to watch, but the monster illustrations on the walkthrough evoked her imagination and made her keep watching.
- She only started becoming a serious gamer after the serialization of Dungeon Meshi was locked, for research purposes. Before that, she read fantasy novels such as The Neverending Story (Michael Ende) and The Lord of the Rings (JRR Tolkien).
- The international title for Dungeon Meshi: Delicious in Dungeons was decided by her editor.
- D&D popped up a lot when she researched the history of video games, so she read the rule books, replay novels, and games inspired by D&D.
- One of the first games she studied was the Legend of Grimrock (game's 80% off on Steam atm). Originally, she wanted Dungeon Master (FTL Games) which was famous for "RPG with meals" but hunting down the game and machine was too much.
- She didn't like games other than turn-based RPGs at first, but she decided to stop being picky and play anything that piqued her interest.
- She played Zelda: BotW and TotK on a borrowed Switch from her editor due to the console's scarcity at the time.
- She enjoyed Red Dead Redemption 2 and God of War for their stories. RDR2's incredible attention to detail had Kui engrossed so much that she asked her editor and other mangaka to play it so she could discuss it with them.
- Kui praised The Witcher 3 localization as something only possible with full support from the developer. Cyberpunk 2077 is one of her all-time favorites.
- Papers, Please was her first taste of indie games.
- Disco Elysium is the perfect game for her due to the lack of fighting, intriguing story, charming character interaction, and top-down perspective. She tried playing it in English at first due to an unlikely chance for JP loc, but it was out of her ability. Thus she is forever grateful to Spike Chunsoft for localizing it.
- Kui played Baldur's Gate 3 from the time it was in Early Access. Again, she's grateful for Spike Chunsoft's JP loc. She hoped BG3's success would bring the possibility of JP loc for other titles too, such as Pathfinder: wotr
- She likes games with top-down perspective because they have narration text for monologues and scenery description. Even if the graphic is lacking, the texts show the atmosphere and each character's behavior and psyche. Also, characters that react to your choices.
- She praised Unpacking and House Flipper for being able to tell what kind of person lives there only through their belongings, and that there's no right or wrong for the placements; she would make the best arrangement and then enjoy her hard work while sipping tea.
- The biggest inspiration for Dungeon Meshi was the Cosmic Forge pen from Wizardry VI. With improved graphics from its predecessor, now it could show broken farming tools in the background and many more details that made exploration so much fun.
- At the time of the interview (Dec '23) she still hadn't watched DunMeshi anime, but she attended the recording sessions. She's embarrassed that the dialog she wrote now acted passionately by professionals. Marcille's screaming was wonderful but also made her want to flee.
- Kui was anxious about the CP2077 anime adaptation, but she was relieved it was the Night City she knows and loves.
- Other than minor adjustments, she left it to TRIGGER as to how to adapt
- She's happy that Mitsuda Yasunori was chosen as the anime composer, as she used to play Chrono Cross and rewatched the opening many times.
- Her anticipated games in 2024 are Cloudpunk, Nivalis, and Avowed.
- DunMeshi would be hard to adapt into a game because in the first place, what Kui depicted in the manga are parts that are omitted in games for the sake of brevity.
- If DunMeshi game was Wizardry-like, it'd be told through Laios' perspective and eating was essential not to die
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suzannahnatters · 2 years
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all RIGHT:
Why You're Writing Medieval (and Medieval-Coded) Women Wrong: A RANT
(Or, For the Love of God, People, Stop Pretending Victorian Style Gender Roles Applied to All of History)
This is a problem I see alllll over the place - I'll be reading a medieval-coded book and the women will be told they aren't allowed to fight or learn or work, that they are only supposed to get married, keep house and have babies, &c &c.
If I point this out ppl will be like "yes but there was misogyny back then! women were treated terribly!" and OK. Stop right there.
By & large, what we as a culture think of as misogyny & patriarchy is the expression prevalent in Victorian times - not medieval. (And NO, this is not me blaming Victorians for their theme park version of "medieval history". This is me blaming 21st century people for being ignorant & refusing to do their homework).
Yes, there was misogyny in medieval times, but 1) in many ways it was actually markedly less severe than Victorian misogyny, tyvm - and 2) it was of a quite different type. (Disclaimer: I am speaking specifically of Frankish, Western European medieval women rather than those in other parts of the world. This applies to a lesser extent in Byzantium and I am still learning about women in the medieval Islamic world.)
So, here are the 2 vital things to remember about women when writing medieval or medieval-coded societies
FIRST. Where in Victorian times the primary axes of prejudice were gender and race - so that a male labourer had more rights than a female of the higher classes, and a middle class white man would be treated with more respect than an African or Indian dignitary - In medieval times, the primary axis of prejudice was, overwhelmingly, class. Thus, Frankish crusader knights arguably felt more solidarity with their Muslim opponents of knightly status, than they did their own peasants. Faith and age were also medieval axes of prejudice - children and young people were exploited ruthlessly, sent into war or marriage at 15 (boys) or 12 (girls). Gender was less important.
What this meant was that a medieval woman could expect - indeed demand - to be treated more or less the same way the men of her class were. Where no ancient legal obstacle existed, such as Salic law, a king's daughter could and did expect to rule, even after marriage.
Women of the knightly class could & did arm & fight - something that required a MASSIVE outlay of money, which was obviously at their discretion & disposal. See: Sichelgaita, Isabel de Conches, the unnamed women fighting in armour as knights during the Third Crusade, as recorded by Muslim chroniclers.
Tolkien's Eowyn is a great example of this medieval attitude to class trumping race: complaining that she's being told not to fight, she stresses her class: "I am of the house of Eorl & not a serving woman". She claims her rights, not as a woman, but as a member of the warrior class and the ruling family. Similarly in Renaissance Venice a doge protested the practice which saw 80% of noble women locked into convents for life: if these had been men they would have been "born to command & govern the world". Their class ought to have exempted them from discrimination on the basis of sex.
So, tip #1 for writing medieval women: remember that their class always outweighed their gender. They might be subordinate to the men within their own class, but not to those below.
SECOND. Whereas Victorians saw women's highest calling as marriage & children - the "angel in the house" ennobling & improving their men on a spiritual but rarely practical level - Medievals by contrast prized virginity/celibacy above marriage, seeing it as a way for women to transcend their sex. Often as nuns, saints, mystics; sometimes as warriors, queens, & ladies; always as businesswomen & merchants, women could & did forge their own paths in life
When Elizabeth I claimed to have "the heart & stomach of a king" & adopted the persona of the virgin queen, this was the norm she appealed to. Women could do things; they just had to prove they were Not Like Other Girls. By Elizabeth's time things were already changing: it was the Reformation that switched the ideal to marriage, & the Enlightenment that divorced femininity from reason, aggression & public life.
For more on this topic, read Katherine Hager's article "Endowed With Manly Courage: Medieval Perceptions of Women in Combat" on women who transcended gender to occupy a liminal space as warrior/virgin/saint.
So, tip #2: remember that for medieval women, wife and mother wasn't the ideal, virgin saint was the ideal. By proving yourself "not like other girls" you could gain significant autonomy & freedom.
Finally a bonus tip: if writing about medieval women, be sure to read writing on women's issues from the time so as to understand the terms in which these women spoke about & defended their ambitions. Start with Christine de Pisan.
I learned all this doing the reading for WATCHERS OF OUTREMER, my series of historical fantasy novels set in the medieval crusader states, which were dominated by strong medieval women! Book 5, THE HOUSE OF MOURNING (forthcoming 2023) will focus, to a greater extent than any other novel I've ever yet read or written, on the experience of women during the crusades - as warriors, captives, and political leaders. I can't wait to share it with you all!
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nebulaafterdark · 2 months
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The Succession (Part 3)
Summary: After the battle of Rook’s Rest, Queen Y/N is forced to rule alongside Prince Regent Aemond, in an attempt to keep her children safe and eventually seat her mother, Rhaenyra, on the throne. While attending her husband, on what appears to be his deathbed, she begins to unravel the dark truth of his near passing.
Aegon Targaryen x Velaryon(Strong)!Reader
Part 1 | Part 2
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Alicent’s idea of a procession to gain support for their wounded King, has quite the opposite effect. The smallfolk swam them, knocking the attending members of the royal family from their carriage and down onto the streets with them.
The Dowager Queen clings to Helaena and her daughter by law. With gold cloaks of the city watch forcing the crowd away from them. Making a path back toward the Keep.
Chérie watches in horror as it unfolds, amongst the sea of people, she spots a familiar face. One of Rhaenyra’s ladies-in-waiting. “Elinda?”
“Chérie?”
“What are you doing here?”
“I’ve come to deliver a message to Princess Y/N, from Queen Rhaenyra.”
“May the gods be with you,” Chérie remarks.
“Where is she?” Elinda asks.
Chérie points toward the center of the mob. Alicent, Helaena and Y/N covered by guards attempting to protect them. “There.”
“Give us the Queen!”
“We want the Queen.”
“Back, all of you!” The guards demand, preparing to draw their swords.
Y/N tries to step forward, give the people what they want.
“Y/N,” Alicent keeps a firm hold on her, shaking her head. “It is not worth the risk.”
“You drug me away from my husband’s sick bed for our people to see me.” Y/N reminds her. “Let them see me.”
Alicent releases her, against her better judgment.
The mass of commoners threaten to engulf the Queen, with the banner of house Targaryen held proudly in their midst. “We want meat.”
“The King makes false promises!”
“You feast in your castle as we starve!”
The shouting builds to a crescendo.
“Do you want my help, or simply to hurl insults at the crown?” Y/N waits until they fall silent before she continues. “Before the King’s coronation, I was told the realm would never accept a ruling Queen. I heard this same sentiment recently, as my lord husband returned from battle, grievously injured. Yet you raise my mother’s banner in my husband’s streets.” Y/N says, loud enough for all to hear. “War is a terrible thing, that costs us all that which we love. It drives a wedge between our houses, makes fools of us all.”
“Stop the war!”
“End the blockade!”
Y/N hesitates, “I have no more agency over that than any of you, I fear. But I believe, as I know my husband does, that our victory relies on the smallfolk. We take to the woods, this day. We will hunt for our meat and we shall feast upon it together.”
The smallfolk murmur to each other.
“Most of you are not trained for the hunt, to which I say, neither am I. But we must stand together, not tear ourselves apart. We are one people, we are one heart.”
Slowly, the townsfolk begin voicing their approval.
“Take to your houses,” Y/N instructs, “gather your weapons and join me at the gates. They will open for us or we will break them down!”
“If you want a word with the Queen, now is your chance.” Chérie whispers.
“And you?”
“I must stand watch over his grace, until her return. After what I have learned this day…he mustn’t be alone.”
The mob cheers as they disband, knocking Chérie and Elinda apart.
Alicent rushes Helaena inside as Y/N heads for the gates.
“She should not be alone.” Helaena says.
“No, she shouldn’t.” Alicent presses cups her daughter’s face in her hands. “Ser Criston.” She calls.
“Your grace,” he stands at the ready.
“You are to accompany the Queen on this venture.” She tells him. “Y/N is not to be out of your sight, no harm must come to her.”
“Of course, your grace.” Cole nods, excusing himself to meet the Queen at the gates. They remain closed as commoners fall in line behind her, pushing at one another as she fights her way to the forefront.
“Where is it you think you’re going?” Aemond asks his niece.
“To give our people meat.” Y/N sneers, spotting her husband’s dagger on his hip. Without hesitation she reaches across, staring him dead in the eye as she yanks the blade free of its sheath. “You are welcome to join us.”
Aemond cocks his head to the side, knowing he has the final say in directing the King’s guard, “open the gates.”
————————————————————————
When Daemon receives Rhaenyra’s letter, detailing her plan to secure Y/N’s safe passage from King’s Landing to Dragonstone, he believes it is a terrible idea.
What they need is for her to hold the throne, the moment she abandons it, any claim Rhaenyra or Aegon holds over it will be lost to the Prince Regent. He knows better than anyone that the realm will suffer if Aemond, one eye, rules.
Instead he plans to enlist help of his own to secure his grandchildren’s safety. With Y/N and Aemond out roaming the woods, taking over half the King’s guard with them, he finds his opportunity.
Whistling through the gates to one of the white cloaks, who harbors a strong dislike of the Hightowers. The man abandons his post, meeting Daemon at the bars.
“How would you like to make a year’s worth of gold in an hour?”
Blood swallows harshly, “what would you have me do?”
“You can start by opening the fucking gate.”
The man does as he’s told.
“Follow me.” Daemon leads him down the alleyway to another man, whom he calls Cheese. “This is an old friend of mine, tonight he’s going to be your friend.” Daemon tosses them each a sack of gold.
“You said a year’s worth.”
“Half now, half when the job is done.”
Blood and Cheese count their bags of coin before nodding their agreement.
“What I need of you is simple. Enter the castle, find my grandson, Aegon.”
“The King?”
“Prince Aegon. He is a babe with dark hair.” With his father incapacitated, they have a good shot at it. “If you cannot retrieve him safely, leave.”
“Is that all?”
“Be sure to scare the seven hells out of the maids while you’re at it. But you are not to cause harm. This is a ploy to increase protection of the Queen’s heirs. Nothing more.”
“What is it they need protecting from?” Cheese wonders.
“Do you want the job or not?” Daemon snaps.
“Y-yes.”
“I will be waiting to collect him at the north gate.” The prince informs them. “You have one hour.”
————————————————————————-
“Disperse and take your share, all of you.” Aemond gives the smallfolk his blessing. They scatter in all directions, desperate and searching.
Y/N sets off with a pack of them into the east woods. Cole follows.
Aemond stays with the masses, showing his good faith. Hoping to win back their support of his claim.
Y/N is the first to spot a deer, running from them, “just there.” She sets off toward is. “Who wants it?”
“I, your grace.” A man with silver, gray hair marches toward it.
“Very well!” Y/N praises, “everyone come round, be sure it does not escape.”
“Together, now.”
They take the first, with some difficulty. Each to follow becomes easier.
Aemond makes his kills alone, happening upon the group eventually. Just in time to see the gleam of the White Hart, watching on from a safe distance. Willing him to slain it, prove himself once and for all, as Y/N toils in servitude of the smallfolk.
“Your grace!” One of the men yell, pointing to the stag. “For you.”
“For us,” Y/N pats his shoulder before hiking up her ruined skirts, “for us.”
“For us!”
Aemond draws his sword, spooking the animal into hiding.
The Queen’s eyes widen.
“May the beast be slain by the true heir, as a sign of good faith.” He says, taking off in search of it.
Y/N runs after him.
“My Queen!”
“Stay with the Queen!”
She chases Aemond deeper into the woods, but the stag cannot be found.
In an instant, Aemond turns on his heels. Leaving the end of his blade pointed at Y/N’s belly.
She flinches as his sword grazes her cheek on it’s upward swing.
Aemond smirks, watching the blood bead on her skin as her eyes well with tears. “Behind you.”
The stag bolts away.
“Aemond!” Ser Criston calls.
The Prince Regent sheathes his sword. “It got away.”
Y/N’s knees buckle, she does not fight as she falls to the ground. It was him. He who would sooner shroud his brother in dragon fire than fight at his side. He who jumped the line of succession to turn the war in his favor.
“Your grace,” Cole moves to her as Aemond retreats. “You’re injured.”
Y/N holds a hand up between them.
“Let me help you stand.”
“Why?” Y/N asks, “each time I stand I am struck down.”
“Because you keep rising.” Cole tells her. “You know, I may not have fathered them, but I raised both Aegon and Aemond as my own. He would not want to see you this way.”
“He may never see me again.”
“I do not believe that is true.” Ser Criston sighs, “so long as you live, he will find a way. My responsibility to Aegon now lies in ensuring he has something to wake up to.” He says, pointedly. “You have not made it an easy task.”
“I overheard you call my mother a spoiled cunt once.” Y/N scrubs a hand over her face, “be forewarned, I am worse.”
Despite himself, Cole smiles. Something just beyond her catching his eye. “My Queen.”
She follows the direction of his finger.
“This will be the sign we all desperately need, they would fall in line behind you. There will be no further question.”
The White Hart stares back at her, unblinking. “Have you come to die for me too?” She pushes up to her feet, flashing the blade before the animal’s eyes in warning. But the stag comes closer, she strokes its bowed head, plunging the dagger clean into its heart, allowing the stag to collapse onto her. Rocking the creature as best she can. “Thank you for all you have done for me. Your sacrifice is not in vain.”
Cole carries the slain stag behind Y/N, trudging through the forest, covered in its blood. The smallfolk know what this means. There is no need for a Prince Regent, they have a Queen.
Aemond nods. She’s won the battle, but he’ll win the war.
————————————————————————-
With the smallfolk contented, Y/N retires to her rooms, allowing the bath water to soothe her muscles and her mind. Chérie is still about, therefore the Queen allows another of her ladies to scrub the dirt and blood from her skin.
“It is done, my Queen.” Livia nods, “should you like a towel, or to soak a while longer?”
“The water is filthy,” Y/N murmurs.
“We might draw you a new bath, your grace.”
“No,” Y/N shakes her head. “Just the towel please.”
“At once, your grace.” She reaches for the plush cream fabric, holding it open for her majesty.
Y/N wraps herself in it, as her hair is rung out over the tub.
“Are you thinking of braids, your grace?”
No. Not in the least. “You may leave it hang.”
“Are you certain?” Livia blinks at her.
“Yes, help me dress in my nightgown, please. I am quite exhausted.”
Livia nods, scurrying to the dressing area and returning with a pale purple gown. “Is this to your liking, my Queen?”
Y/N smiles, “it is lovely. Thank you.”
The woman returns the gesture.
“You needn’t always address me so formally when we are alone. I wish for us to be friends.”
“A Queen is not expected to be friends with her servants.” Livia says, “my mother has served the dowager Queen Alicent for many years.”
“My mother was always kind to her ladies.” Y/N tells her. “That is the Queen I hope to be.”
Livia nods, easing the material over the Queen’s head, followed quickly by her robe. “I should like that very much.”
“I understand how difficult it can be, taking on a new role without knowing what’s expected of you. If you’ve questions, please voice them to me, I am more than happy to answer.”
“I have heard whispers from other ladies…that Chérie joins you and the King in your bed.” Livia stammers, “you are both very lovely, your grace, but I would not know how-”
“Oh no,” Y/N huffs a laugh. “Livia, that will never be asked of you. Chérie is very dear to the King and I, but that is not a task expected of my ladies.”
“Forgive me for assuming.”
“It’s quite alright, I am glad to clear the air between us. I would hate for you to be nervous in my presence over a misunderstanding.”
Livia exhales, “thank you for being so kind.”
Y/N takes her hand, “of course.”
“Y/N,” Chérie pants, having rushed past the guards. “It’s Aegon.”
Y/N moves, as if in slow motion, taking the bloodied dagger from the floor. Down the hall, to her husband’s rooms, shoving open the door.
“You’re hurt.” He says, taking in the sight of her, freshly dressed, hair still dripping from the bath.
She gawks at him. Willing her legs to move and dropping to her knees at the side of his bed, casting the weapon aside. Y/N rests her cheek against the coverlet, not daring to touch him.
Carefully he reaches for her, feeling the charred skin of his chest pull as his hand passes over her hair.
“I thought you were dead,” Y/N whispers. “Chérie rushed me out of my rooms to you. I thought you were dead.” She sobs, violently enough that any shred of anger Aegon harbors for the disregard of her own safety is forgotten.
“I’m going to look in on the children.” Chérie excuses herself.
Aegon whispers, as the doors close, “come round this side.”
“I can’t.” Y/N struggles to draw breath, shuttering as she does.
“I wish to hold you.”
“I will hurt you.”
“Hearing you sob on the floor, while I am no more than a foot away, is worse than any pain I am in. Let me comfort you.” Aegon insists, “please.”
Y/N stands, climbing carefully onto the bed, lying her head on the pillow beside his.
Aegon’s neck aches as he turns his head to face her, left eye swollen shut.
“I do not see where it is safe to touch you,” Y/N admits. The unmarred half of his face now rests against the pillow.
“Rest your head upon my shoulder.” Aegon sighs, “but let me look at you first.” He’s just taken milk of the poppy, enough to dull the sharp edge of pain.
“I am a mess.” Y/N lets out a watery laugh, dragging the back of her hand over her face, mindful of her graze.
“You are beautiful,” Aegon half smiles. “Tell me what’s happened.”
Y/N sucks in a breath, “the small council appointed Aemond as Prince Regent. The smallfolk were discontented in their hunger, I took them to hunt. I happened across a white stag and followed it into the woods. Aemond as well. He drew his sword once we were far enough out though Cole found us before anything happened. I think he meant to kill me.”
Aegon swallows, “you must stay away from Aemond, do you understand?”
Y/N nods.
“When I am well enough-”
“Has he done this to you?” Y/N needs to hear it plainly.
“Sunfyre and Meyles were locked together. There is no way of knowing what his intentions were, but it was Aemond who gave the command.” Dracarys.
“I’ll kill him.”
“You cannot.”
Y/N begins to protest.
“Listen to me now.” Aegon presses on, “I want you out of King’s Landing. I want our children out.”
“No, I will not leave you.”
“Go to your mother on Dragonstone.”
“No.”
“Shh,” Aegon gentles her. “I need you to hear what I am saying to you. This is the only way she can take back the throne. She wants Aemond’s head more than any. It will ensure your safety and the kill. I hate being parted as much as you do, but I cannot protect you here.”
“Who will protect you if I go?”
“My mother.”
“She would stand against Aemond, if it comes to it?” Y/N challenges.
“I do not want you here if it comes to that.”
“Why?”
“I will not have you stand between me and a blade. I will not allow you to be harmed or mistreated. I will protect you and our children at any cost.” Aegon says.
“The White Hart appeared for me,” Y/N is sure of it. “It fled from Aemond, returned for me and I killed it. For you, for our house and our people. I am not weak.”
“My concern is not because you are weak.” Aegon tells her, “at present, you are the largest threat to Aemond. He could end me now with a pillow held over my face.”
Y/N’s eyes widen.
“I jest, I jest.”
“I will do it myself if you dare say that again.”
He chuckles, “ah!” The movement is horribly painful. “Don’t make me laugh.”
“I promised the girls they could come visit you.” Y/N tells him, lowering her head to his shoulder.
“Are you certain that’s a good idea?” Aegon nuzzles against the top of her head. “They should not have to see me this way.”
Y/N sighs, “you are their father. They love you no matter what.”
“And you?” Aegon whispers, “you would have me still? They say I may never walk again.”
Y/N pulls away to stare at him with furrowed brows. “Aegon, of course I will have you. I love you.”
“I know that you love me.” Same as he would love her with roles reversed, “but will you…desire me? As your husband?”
Y/N presses her lips to his, oh so gently. “Of course. When you have recovered, we shall make up for lost time.”
Again he nods, not entirely convinced. “I should like that very much.”
“I speak true, husband.” Y/N insists. “Surely my body is different now than it was before our babes and you desire me still, do you not?”
“I desire you more.”
“We’re going to grow old together, you and I. In which time we will both surely change, that is the way of things.”
“Your grace!” Chérie calls, rapping her fist against the door.
“Come,” Y/N wills her.
The woman charges in, clearly distraught. “My Queen,” she says, without realizing Aegon is still lucid. The maesters warned his moments of waking will be few and far between. “Something awful has happened.”
“What is it?” Y/N springs from the bed.
“Prince Aegon…he’s been taken.”
“Taken where?” Y/N demands.
“I cannot say, the maids reported two men in hoods. They came with knives, threatened them and took the babe.”
“Bring us Dahlia, Visera and Laenor.” Aegon insists. “Send in the guards, they are to tear apart the Red Keep until my son is found.”
“Of course, my King.” Chérie bows.
Y/N steals the abandoned dagger, making for the door.
“Where are you going?” Aegon calls after her.
“To kill your brother.”
Part 4
Series Taglist: @oh-you-mean-me @barnes70stark @lovelyteenagebeard @niyahnotnia @narwhal-swimmingintheocean @callsignwidow @hyde-jpg @novelswithariana @klutzylaena @ynbutbetter @ravenqueen27 @danart501
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n6ptunova · 4 months
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camera roll with bf!matt
backstory of each pic at the end <3
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backstory of each pic:
༻ʚ 1. “i loveee this outfit on you, you look so cute,” you smirked knowing your boyfriend doesn’t take compliments well.
“this outfit? you have weird taste.” he rolled his eyes but you can see the corner of his lips fighting back a smile.
you ignore his comment and move away from him as he gives you a questioning look. his confusion is gone when you pull out your film camera from your drawer. “is this really worth film?”
“yes, the fit, your hair, and mr wrinkleton- this is important!! smile please.” he then finally posed, barely smiling but that’s as much as you’re gonna get out of him.
༻ʚ 2. “matt, stop!” you giggle running away from matt who had started a pillow fight earlier. you walked into his room wearing his pj bottoms (from pic 1) and told him they’re yours now. he claimed it’s his favorite but it was yours too :( you unintentionally declared a war when you said if he wants them back he’ll have to take it himself.
that’s when he stood up and started chasing you and it turned into a pillow fight. see, he doesn’t actually care about the pants- you can have his entire closet if you asked. but he loved teasing you just as much as you loved annoying him.
you run into nick’s room yelling, “ nick, help! your brother is trying to kill me!”
“she stole my pants, i want them back!” he laughed, out of breath.
“aren’t boyfriends supposed to like giving their clothes to their girlfriends? stop being a loser matt.” nick said, pulling out his phone to record this. “EXACTLY, tell him nick!!”
matt finally got a hold of you as he tackled you into nick’s bed, both of you giggling and play flighting while nick eventually gets tired and kicks you both out.
༻ʚ 3. you and matt agreed to keep your relationship offline for at least a year. well it was finally your one year anniversary and matt surprised you with a trip just the two of you.
you woke up cuddled in matt’s arms, he gave you a soft kiss as he struggled to fully wake up. you’re more of a morning person than he is so you sat up taking in the view from the hotel and that paired with how fine your boyfriend is you decided to take a “soft launch” picture asking matt if you can post it to which he nods. the pic became a fan favorite amongst his fans for obvious reasons :)
༻ʚ 4. before this picture was taken, you and matt were in his room…making out…a lot. it was getting intense with his grip on your waist guiding your hips back and forth on his lap while your hands pull and tug on his hair and his tongue down your throat.
before this went any further you hear a loud yell from chris saying ‘food’s here.’ groaning you get up off him admiring how fucked he looks. “wait a few minutes, i can’t go out with a hard on.” you laughed and said you’ll meet him outside.
when he comes out of his room his hair is still a mess and he looked as fine as ever. you told him and nick to pose for a friday dump but really, you just wanted to this look on your boyfriend. you’ll definitely pick up where you left off tonight.
༻ʚ 5. beach date with matt <3
༻ʚ 6. matt was playing with your puppy and you left them to go make some food, when you came back you found them napping together on the ground making your heart melt. you love them both so much.
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tag list🤍 ~ @mattscoquette @et6rnalsun @norr1ssturni0lo @sturnsxplr-25
if you wanna be added please lmkk <3
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i-cant-sing · 3 months
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Time Traveller AU part 7
Part 1 is here. Part 2 is here. Part 3 is here. Part 4 is here. Part 5 is here. Part 6 is here. Time Traveller au masterlist is here. Check out my MASTERLIST for more!
Part 8 is here!
"Gather the troops and have them warn the public. All the infantries will be stationed here and here. The archers and cavalary-" Salauddin was sending orders to his generals. As soon as he was informed of Baldwin coming, you knew he had only limited time to make a game plan.
You didnt understand why Baldwin would come all the way here for a war. He wouldnt leave Jerusalem unarmed this way, so either he's bring half of his army while the other half protects his kingdom from invaders- which would put him at a great disadvantage against Salauddin. Or he's bringing all of his men and that means Jerusalem is practically up for grabs.
No. He wouldnt leave Jerusalem unarmed like that, so that means he's inadequately prepared for the war?
No. Baldwin's too smart. If he won against Salauddin at just 16 years, then he's definitely coming up with a plan. And it scares you to not know what he has in mind.
You looked at Salauddin who had just finished instructing his generals, as they left. He was stressed, you could see that. War. Its not a small thing. There are no true winners when there's blood shed on either side. While Salauddin does have the advantage of fighting in his home ground, that is also his disadvantage. At the end of it, his people- his Egypt will suffer.
"Y/n." Your eyes meet. "I need you to stay inside the palace. I will have guards assigned to you. If they tell you to go somewhere, follow them."
"What? No. I'm coming with."
"Have you lost your mind?"
You ignored his insult. "If Baldwin is coming for a war-" "You're gonna talk him out of it?" "I mean, its not a bad plan but I was gonna offer you to use me as a bargaining chip? That way you could avoid blood shed." You wouldn't offer to put your life in danger but since your time machine is still not ready, you need to avoid a war.
"No." He gave you a stern look. "I dont want you anywhere near him or his men. You will stay here. Listen to me for once."
"But I-"
"Y/n." He warned. You sighed before nodding. Well I could always just go out when he leaves, just like last time.
Almost as if he had read your mind, he made you follow him to a room that had no windows or any other exits besides the one door that was made of solid wood and had guards stationed outside.
"This is the safest room, Y/n. It is impenetrable." Oh no, you cant stay here.
"I think you're overreacting a bit-"
"Overreacting? Your fiance is coming over to start a war because of your crazy brother-in-law who you underestimated because you said that he's just a tool. I think I'm reacting very appropriately." He shut you up.
"I want Isabella."
"No."
"Please Salauddin, I need to keep her safe too-"
"No."
"This may be the last wish you ever grant me, so can you just agree-"
"You think I'm going to die?!" Salauddin stared at you in disbelief.
"I... I didnt say that." You tried to think of a lie. "I mean, maybe this might be the last time you see me... alive? Who knows when the angel of death pays you a visit? If we look at the statistics, between you, me and Baldwin, at least one of us going to die-"
"Stop talking." He gritted out, "Fine."
-
"Princess." Isabella wailed as soon as she entered. You let her hug you. "I missed you too, Isabella." You smiled wiping away her tears.
"I- I heard rumors of a war! Is it- his majesty coming?" The girl sniffled. You nodded.
"Its true. A war is going to happen... unless I do something about it." She blinked in confusion. "Huh?"
You held her hands and gave her your most pleading eyes. Its time for manipulation.
"I need you to get me out of here." "Why?" "Because I need to talk to my future husband out of war."
Her eyes widened. "B-but its too dangerous for you to go outside, princess!"
You sighed. "If I cant even protect people from unnecessary pain and bloodshed, then what good am I as a queen?" Yes, time for some heart breaking lines about self sacrifice. "I would rather risk my life than the lives of those who have their families waiting for them at home. I would happily fall on my own sword if it means my subjects wont have to. If I cant prevent suffering of the very people who would bleed for me, then I have no right to be the queen of Jerusalem."
-
Half an hour later, Isabella had knocked on the door for the guards to let her out.
"Sultan Salauddin has forbidden-"
"Princess Y/n from leaving. Not me. I'm her lady in waiting and the princess needs me to get her belongings so that she can write her will."
"We can have it fetched-"
"You? A common man she has no relations with- wants to touch her stuff? I dont think so." Isabelle glared at them through her niqaab (all of your maids had followed your dress code in Egypt). She didnt wait for an answer as she began walking away before a man appeared by her side. It was one of Salauddin's guards.
"What?" She snapped at him, continuing to walk.
"They sent me to walk with you and bring you back safely." He said before grinning at her. "I thought you'd be happy to see your habeebo."
"Habeebo?" She asked, reaching your room.
He caught her wrist and turned her around, gazing at her veiled face with affection. "You cant still be mad at me for leaving the other night- I had duties."
"What right do I have to be mad at you?" Isabella kept her face down, conveying she was still very much mad.
"Habeebo's habibti- you have all rights over me. You're the only woman for me." Habeebo said as he placed a hand over his heart.
Isabelle finally giggled, freeing her wrist from his grasps. "Stop... someone could walk in on us." She warned.
"So? I'm not afraid. I can do anything for love!"
"Anything?"
"Anything." He assured her.
"Then go fetch me some cold water while I pack the princesse's belongings. Hurry now, I'll be waiting for you here." Habeebo all but smiled before walking towards the kitchen, leaving Isabella alone in your room.
As soon as she was sure he was gone, she removed her veil and quickly changed her chaddar with yours.
"Thanks Isabella." You muttered as you slipped on your chaddar. Yes, you had left Isabella in the room upstairs and pretended to be her to slip out of there. She had told you about her crush Habeebo who you had also fooled into leaving you here, and youre sure that if he were to go back upstairs and find Isabella instead of you, he'd protect her. Surely.
Sneaking out of the palace wasnt a hard feat by now. What was hard was trying to figure out what way to go to find Baldwin or Salauddin, with all the people panicking as they were being constantly warned by guards about Baldwin's arrival.
You decided to go through the market and head towards the madarrasa, though you doubt Abbas is anywhere done with the parts you gave him to make. You had given a week's deadline but only because you needed him to hurry up, not because he could actually make them in such little time.
The streets were packed, shops were getting closed and people were trying to rush home to safety. You were nearing the madarrasa when you were pulled to the side in an alley.
"Y/n!" Abbas exclaimed. "Finally, I found you." You raised a brow and he grinned. "Your things are ready."
"Already?" You were in disbelief. How did he-
He puffed his chest. "Of course. I had a deadline and with the war being announced, I'm glad I made haste!" You felt hope again. If the parts are ready, all you need to do is assemble them and you can leave this timeline for once and for all, and if Baldwin and Salauddin do end up fighting each other, everything works out! You're sure that Salauddin would win by playing to his strengths, and because eventually Guy will fuck up and betray Baldwin and cause him to die. Then another crusade will happen and Salauddin will take over Jerusalem! Everyone wins.
"Well? Hand it over."
"I dont have it with me right now! I took the parts home to work on them. Lets go." You trailed behind him, the market still bustling as the air became more tensed. They're kingdom is about to be attacked and they have little to no time to prepare for it.
Soon, you reached his home. It was a cozy place, made of mud. The beige walls added onto the coolness. He lead you inside, crossing the patio. Abbas told you to wait there while he went inside a room to get your parts. While waiting, your eyes landed on a cage in the corner that had 5 doves.
"Here it is." Abbas returned with a wooden box and gave it to you.
Opening it, you saw the designs you had given him. You took the parts out and examined them. They weren't top notch, but they'll make do.
"Thank you." You handed him a pouch of gold coins. He pocketed it before raising his brows at you. "So... will you finally tell me what this is for?"
You looked up at him before taking out your time machine. Might as well assemble it here and leave as soon as possible. "I would but I'm afraid it'll go over your head." He frowned at your words before grumbling angrily under his breath before going to the doves to give them seed. Good, he should be distracted while you put these parts in.
It didnt take more than a few minutes for you to place them in. All you had to do was to put in the last key, turn it on and set the date-
"Y/n." You looked up at Abbas, not understanding his horrified expression. What's wrong? You followed his gaze and looked behind you, and there it was-
A shadow standing at the doorway of the patio.
You squinted your eyes before your heart dropped at the realisation.
Black robes, hood over the head, geared up.
Assassin.
"This is the wrong house." Abbas said with a trembling voice.
The assassin stepped forward into the light, while you and Abbas took a few steps back.
"What- what do you want?" The assassin didnt answer him, his eyes fixed on you. This is- this is not an Ismaili. They wouldnt attack alone, and especially not so soon, and not when a war hangs over their head.
The assassin took another step forward, this time you grabbed the time machine and held it closely. This made the dark figure tilt his head at you.
"Get behind me." You moved behind Abbas. "Get out of my house- this is not the time. Evacuate!" Abbas warned the guy but he didnt stop staring at you.
As soon as he took another step, Abbas grabbed a wooden stick from the side and ran towards him, only for him to be flipped over his shoulder and slammed to the ground. You took this as a sign to run but the assassin was faster, grabbing you by the chaddar as it ripped off you. Your eyes widened as he grabbed you by the shoulder and yanked you back and your immediate reaction was to slap him, but he caught your wrist and pushed you back inside the patio. Abbas got up and tried to punch him, but he was knocked down back on his back in a second.
You ran, but didnt make it more than a few steps before you got tackled to the ground. You struggled to break free but the assassin had his arms wrapped around your neck, putting you in a chokehold.
Knowing Abbas couldnt come to your rescue, you clawed at the assassins hands, flailed about trying to break free from under him. But he had overpowered you, putting immense pressure until you started seeing black dots.
Just at the last moment, your eyes caught the sight of the dove cage and instinctively, you yanked the cage, hoping to hit the assassin in the head with it, but all you managed was to tip it over, the latch holding it close dropped.
And in the next moment, the doves flew out and went straight for the assassin. You wouldnt say they were attacking him, but the moment he saw them flying in his direction, he raised his hands to bat them away, which only caused him to get scratched-
You didnt stick around to find out if they clawed his face off, springing to your feet as you ran inside a room, hoping to find a window to escape.
You spot the window, quickly opening the wooden frame to leap out. Only the moment you have one foot out, you're pulled back inside and thrown against the wall.
The assassin is back, his body language conveying he's more pissed now than before.
You cant outrun him. You take a fighting stance. You know very well that you cant beat him either, but it works well to at least make him doubt that.
Maybe you could bribe him?
"What do you want?" You ask him, your fists raised. He tilted his head at your attempt to look ominous.
You glared at him. "You let me and my friend go, and I can assure you I can give you enough gold to keep you out of work forever. I am..." you pause before using your last card. "I am King Baldwin's fiance, future queen of Jerusalem. Let me go, and I'll give you anything you want."
He took another step forward and you knew you were backed into a corner so you punched him, only he caught your fist before it was anywhere near his face.
He stared at you, tightening his hold on your wrist.
"Please dont hurt me." You gulped before raising your other hand to punch him, but he caught it too. Now both of your hands were in one of his while he used the other to grab your throat and push you against the wall.
"Oh fuc-" He squeezed a pressure point on your neck until you passed out.
-
Salauddin was on his horse at the front of his army, waiting at the gates of his kingdom for Baldwin. His generals had informed him that they had placed the respective troops posted according to his plan. Everyone waited with baited breath for his command. They're ready to protect their sultan, ready to sacrifice their lives to protect their kingdom.
Salauddin heard them before he saw them.
The heavy jingle of metal armour, the marching of the horses and then he saw their cross flags. He gave a nod to his men, signalling to be prepared.
They're coming.
In all honesty, Salauddin was expecting Baldwin's army to not make it through the hot desert, since they rarely ever leave Jerusalem.
But it was still a surprise when he saw the actual size of his army.
It wasnt that much. Thought he anticipated it, after all Baldwin wouldnt have left his kingdom without some men, but now this means that Baldwin is not relying on numbers.
He's relying on strategy. And its hard to predict Baldwin's moves.
Salauddin's mouth turned into a grim line. What was he planning?
The templars lead the army to the gates of Egypt. The Muslims had their weapons ready to be drawn. Salauddin watched the Christians Knights halt.
Do they attack now?
Baldwin emerged from the masses on his horse, sporting his iron mask despite not needing it anymore. Salauddin also rode his horse to meet him halfway, knowing his generals dont appreciate him leaving.
Their horses stopped a few feet apart from each other. Everything was silent apart from the sound of warm air whooshing through the desert.
Baldwin raised his hand. Salauddin heart skipped a beat. He's going to signal them to attack-
"Salam alaikum!" Baldwin greeted with a wave.
Salauddin gave a nod. "Walaikum asalam."
Baldwin tilted his head. "Why so tense, Sal? Not happy to see me?"
"I dont like uninvited guests." He replied. Baldwin chuckled. "Of course. But we're friends-"
"Why are you here, Baldwin?"
Baldwin stared at him. No king appreciates being interrupted.
"I'm here to meet my fiancee."
Salauddin stared at him unamused. "You left the Holy Land to meet your fiancee who was going to return home soon anyways?"
Baldwin shrugged. "I missed her."
"Baldwin."
The young king sighed. "I know I should've informed you before coming but I really do want to see Y/n. I mean no harm, Salauddin." He raised his hands in surrender. "I just thought it would be a nice surprise for her. Ever since she cured me, I realised I hadnt seen the world that much, so what better location than Egypt?"
Salauddin stared at him, before his gaze fell on his army.
"Come on, Salauddin. Where's Y/n?" Baldwin asked with a goofy smile.
Salauddin's brows furrowed before he sighed. "In my palace." He nodded at his men to open the gates as he lead Baldwin in. But not before whispering to his second in command to surround the kingdom from all perimeters and be on high alert. Things can always go south.
Baldwin smirked looking at the size of Salauddin's army. "Aww, you didnt have to bring them for my warm welcome." Salauddin ignored him, knowing very well that Baldwin knew how it looked when a king comes unannounced at another king's door.
-
They soon arrived at the palace, welcomed by servants and maids who were looking at Baldwin in awe. They had heard rumors of his beauty, and when he removed his mask, they realised how huge of an understatement it was. And the fact that this young king was the one to defeat their sultan at just 16 years age, it definitely added to the charm.
But Baldwin wasnt blind to the furious gazes of his soldiers either. He just ignored them, which was easy since his mind was occupied by thoughts of you. Y/n. My princess. My angel.
What surprised Salauddin was that Baldwin hadnt come alone. No, Guy was here too which only confused him more. If Baldwin brought Guy along, then who did he leave to take care of Jerusalem? Sibylla and Guy's son was still too young to be a heir.
He did remember your theory about Guy being the one to hire the assassins to ambush you in the desert. If Guy came here despite his failed attempts to get rid of his enemies, then he's either incredibly stupid or he's well assured that he'll get away with everything.
Salauddin wont let him. He'll make Guy pay.
"I hate to rush you Salauddin, I know Muslims are knows for their hospitality but can you just lead me to Y/n's room? She is a sight for sore eyes." Baldwin requested sweetly, making Salauddin roll his eyes. He signalled a servant to bring you down.
Guy looked disgusted to be in the presence of so many Muslims, but the moment he caught sight of any maids passing by, he would be eyeing them like a piece of meat. A maid came by holding drinks in a tray. When she offered it to Baldwin and then Guy, the latter startled the poor girl by purposely touching her wrist with his grubby paws.
Salauddin gripped the armrest tightly. If he wasnt Baldwin's brother-in-law, Salauddin would've plucked his eyes out and had him whipped in public to make an example out of scum like him.
"So, when did you leave your camp outside Jerusalem? I was expecting to see you there on my way here, but there were new troops of yours instead." Baldwin asked, sipping the cool drink.
"I came here with Y/n. I had some errands that required my attention." Salauddin didnt bring up the ambush, watching both him and Guy to gauge their reactions. Did they know?
"Went on any new conquests recently?" Salauddin decided to make small talk as they waited for you. He hopes you're not taking time to get ready to meet Baldwin. He'd rather you come up covered in a chaddar when Guy is here.
Instead of allowing Baldwin to answer, Guy cut him off. "Of course! We are the noble warriors, the Chosen Ones! God wants us to conquer as much as possible, for the sake of his-"
"How dare you talk to me?" Salauddin silenced him. "I'm talking to your king. He may allow it but you're in my kingdom now. You will abide by the rules or so help me, your head will be on a spike for the crows to shit on." Guy's eyes widened and his jaw fell open. No one had threatened him like that, at least not since he married Sibylla.
Baldwin barely suppressed a smile and when Guy looked at him for help, he only shrugged. "You should listen to him. We are his guests, after all."
The servant returned with the special guards he had assigned to protect you, all looking scared.
"S-sultan... the princess-" Baldwin and Salauddin's gaze sharpened at your mention. The poor servant gulped.
"The princess is gone."
There was deafening silence. The servant had his head bowed, along with the guards, all too afraid of the wrath they're going to face.
"Gone? Gone where?" Salauddin spat as he walked upto them.
"I- I dont know-" Salauddin grabbed the guard by the collar and shook him. "I left her in a room with no windows, a room guarded by the 6 of the most skilled men. Where did she go?!"
The guard's head only lowered further. "Sultan, we only opened the door to let princess Y/n's maid in and out. B-but- but when we opened the door, the maid was waiting there instead of the princess!"
"Which maid? Where is she?!" Salauddin roared.
The guard nodded at his men who pushed a young girl forward roughly. She fell on her knees, crying pitifully. He immediately recognised her.
Isabella.
"Where's the princess?" Salauddin questioned her, only to be answered in hiccups and tears. A vein on his forehead popped. He doesnt have time for this. Who knows where you are? If you're safe-
"Isabella." Baldwin called out gently, kneeling in front of her. She sniffled and bowed her head. "Isabella, look at me." She took panicked breaths before lifting her eyes to meet his kind ones, not a a grain of anger in them.
"You know where princess Y/n is?" He asked, pushing her hair back over her ear. She shook her head, hiccuping though she wasnt bawling her heart now.
"Use your words, Isabella. Tell me what happened." Enchanted by his gentleness, she spilled, told him all about how you made her take your place so that you could go and stop you from starting a war with the sultan.
Salauddin watched the interaction closely, trying to figure out if Isabella was lying. He did note Baldwin's behabiour throughout this entire interrogation as well. For someone whose future wife is missing, Baldwin is surprisingly calm. Then again, he's rarely ever seen Baldwin lose his temper.
"Where did she go?" Baldwin questioned her once again.
"I- I dont know, your majesty. She never told me!" Isabella cried out.
Baldwin nodded before standing up, his brows furrowed as rubbed his chin with his thumb and index finger.
"If Y/n was going out to stop me and she never reached the gates, then it means... she's still here." Baldwin said after some deep thought. He looked at Salauddin. "Your men have surrounded the kingdoms, havent they?"
Salauddin nodded before ordering his men to find you.
"Search every house, every place. No one gets in or out of the kingdom!" He yelled at them, watching them leave. He felt Baldwin stand beside him and out of the corner of his eye, he saw his face wasn't... too concerned.
"You know, for someone whose fiancee is missing, you're surprisingly calm." Salauddin was both stating his observation, and accusing him too. Did Baldwin know where you were?
Baldwin simply smiled, his dimples showing. "I know you will find her."
"And why is that?"
"Because if I dont have Y/n in my arms by today, then I will burn your Egypt to the ground."
-
The Templar Knights kicked down doors, rattled the poor citizens and took great glee in destroying their belongings, using you as an excuse to "search thoroughly". Salauddin's army was also rigorously working to find you, interrogating everyone for any clues on you. Then again, no one had really seen how you looked like. You were just another woman covered in a chaddar and niqaabi among a whole city of them. It would be like finding needle in a hay stack and Salauddin wasnt about to allow anyone to rip off the niqaabs off his Muslim women. He wont allow such a transgression.
Fortunately, Baldwin agreed. After all, why would you be hiding from him? You dont have a reason to, right? But still, he had to find you. So he was walking through the streets of Egypt himself to look for you.
Salauddin had joined him, and not just because he wanted to ensure the safety of his folks but also to stop Guy from provoking Baldwin by feeding him any lies.
That cretin was getting on his last nerves.
Salauddin pretended to be deaf as Guy harshly whispered to Baldwin that "How can a princess just vanish? Clearly, there's someone plotting. These Arabs must've sold her off! They dont respect women like we do-" only to be pushed away by Baldwin who told him to focus his energy on finding you.
Its been 3 hours since Baldwin's arrival and still no sign of you. Despite his best attempts, Salauddin could see Baldwin's calm demeanour chipping away. He was running out of patience.
They were now standing outside the madarrassa where all the scholars, students and staff were rounded up. Salauddin was the only one who knew about Abbas, but now that he looked at each face, he realised he was the only one missing.
Immeadiately, he sent the guards to find him. Salauddin was sure that he knew about your whereabouts, He had to.
"Who is Abbas?" Baldwin asked as they both followed the guards that had found out his residence.
Salauddin didnt miss the suspicion in his tone. As much as he wanted to toy with Baldwin, now is not the time.
"He is a craftsman. Y/n had hired him to make something for her. Maybe she went there to collect it." He purposely avoided telling him about the unique chessboard you had gifted him.
After half an hour, they had reached Abbas's residence. It wasnt all that odd to find the front door open, and truth be told, no one was expecting anyone to be home.
It was concerning to find the disasterous state of the house as they entered. Clay pots were smashed to the ground, a cage lying empty in one corner. Clearly, something had happened here.
However, something caught Salauddin's eye that made his heart sink.
Your chaddar, lying on the ground.
-
You woke up with a pounding headache. When your lids fluttered open, they first spotted the single candle in the corner of the dimly lit room. Memories of the previous events flashed through your mind and you fitted the pieces like a jigsaw puzzle.
When your eyes finally adjusted to the dimly lit room, you realised you were still in the same room the assassin had knocked you out. Not only that, but Abbas was also lying beside you, though he hadnt regained conciousness yet.
"Abbas- Abbas, wake up." You raised your hand to shake him, but your eyes caught the sight of your ripped sleeve. When- when did this-
You looked down at your clothes and realised they were all tattered too. Your niqaab was gone, you recalled the assassin had pulled off your chaddar during your escape attempt, and now that you looked at Abbas, he was in a similar state too. His clothes were torn and ripped too. But why? The assassin had already knocked you two out, he didnt need to-
You gasped, patting yourself to find your lack of belongings. Your time machine was gone, as was your jewellery an coins. You'd been robbed!
Panic surged into your veins as you violently shook Abbas, your machine was gone- your only way out of this era was gone!
"Abbas! Wake up!" But he only groaned in response. What was wrong with him?
You dont have time to wonder as you rushed to open the door. You need to catch that thief, assassin- whatever he was, before he got too far and you lost your time machine forever. Grabbing the handles, you tried to yank the door open, but it didnt even budge. Its... locked.
You whipped your head around, remembering the window you were trying to get out of earlier. Running up to it, you tried to open the wooden shutters, but they didnt move an inch. No. No. This is- this is not happening. You ran back towards the door. You felt your throat close up as you pulled the door with all your might before banging your fists against them in frustration.
You were locked in.
The thief has your time machine. He's probably gone far away with it. By the time anyone comes to your aid, he'd have fled the city. He'd be gone as Baldwin and Salauddin fight and burn Egypt to the ground. I'll be trapped here, probably die under the rubble with Abbas-
Abbas.
You look back at him, still unconscious. How hard was his head hit?
You fall back on your knees besides him, trying to wake him up. He'd know- Abbas would know how to get out of this room. He's smart, and he knows his house, probably built it himself- he'd know a way out.
"Abbas! ABBAS! Wake up! Wake up-!" You grabbed his head and laid it in your lap, turning it side-to-side to see if he was bleeding. You started to massage his temples, hoping the circulation will wake him up.
Wait. Circulation.
You recalled what they taught you in first aid class- what to do when someone faints? Raise their legs above heart level. You quickly moved and pulled his knees up until they were able to stay bent on their own, before cradling his head in your lap again, tapping his cheeks.
"Abbas- Abbas, wake up please. Abbas-! I swear if you dont wake up, I will give you a tight slap-"
You were cut off by the sound of the door being banged.
What in the-
The door shook as something hard banged against it. You jumped at the force. Did the war start already? Are they using cannonballs?
No. While cannonballs were used as heavy artillery in medieval Europe, it was more popularly used in the 1700s, but I'm still in the 1100s-
NOT THE TIME TO GEEK OUT! I'M ABOUT TO DIE-
The door burst open and light flooded into the room, blinding you for a moment. You raised your hand to shield yourself from the light before slowly bringing your hand down as you saw figures entering into the room.
Once your eyes finally adjusted, you recognised the figures in front of you.
Salauddin. Baldwin. Guy-
Guy?
All three of them stared at you, though your eyes remained focused on Baldwin, who looked at you, then at your clothes, and then... at Abbas.
The look of relief turned into confusion. What? Whats wrong?
You heard Salauddin yell something in Arabic at his soldiers, which made them instantly look away and leave the room. Baldwin kept looking at you in barely suppressed shock.
"Baldwin?" You whispered, though it was Salauddin who moved first, removing his chaddar and bending down to cover you with it, but your eyes were fixated on Baldwin's face. Why is he... looking at you like that?
Wait. If Baldwin and Salauddin are here together, then it means there's no war. Which means-
"Are you okay? What happened?" Salauddin asked you, though before you could answer him, Guy began laughing.
"Okay? She's more than okay!" He smirked. "After all, she was spending some time with her secret lover!"
Both your and Salauddin's eyes went wide. It finally clicked why Baldwin was looking at you like that.
He thinks you and Abbas-
"No. That's not true-" You tried to speak but Guy cut you off.
"Of course it is! Look at you, holding his head in your lap so sweetly!" He accused before snarling at you. "And you chose a dirty Muslim to cheat on our King? The audacity! And the lack of taste."
You shook your head. "Thats not true. This is Abbas. He's a- a craftsman-" "Oh, I'm sure you were pretty crafty with him too." Guy cut you off.
"Shut up, Guy!" You snapped. "I came to get my valuables from him. It was a gift! I had them commissioned for- for you Baldwin!" You half lied.
"And where is that gift?" Guy interrogated.
"I was robbed. We both were-" "Oh how convenient!" You glared at him. He was framing you. You pointed at your clothes. "How else do you explain the torn clothes?!"
Guy hummed and you knew you were going to regret as soon as a disgusting smile crept on his face.
"Well, animals fuck with wild passion-"
"I WAS ROBBED!" You yelled. "Look, the thief even knocked out Abbas!"
"I dont see a head injury." Guy shrugged. "I just think he's passed out from drinking. Or maybe his stamina wore out-"
"Shut up! Just shut up!" Your face was red with rage, though to anyone else it may have looked like you were caught red handed in a lie. You calmed yourself down. You need to explain before things got worse.
"Baldwin, I'm not having an affair with Abbas. He's married-" Once again, Guy cut you off, this time waving his hands. "My king, it doesnt matter to these Muslims. They're into polygamy. Whats one wife, when you can have four?"
Of all the things, this is the one thing he knows about Islam?
You didnt detect one, not a single emotion of trust or love from Baldwin's stoic face. Is he- is he actually believing this bull?
Why wouldnt he? He's a man after all. And who knows what other lies Guy has been filling his head with to make him doubt your loyalty?
Enough is enough. You need to come clean.
"You know what Guy? I was going to keep this a secret to let you beg for forgiveness, but I think its time for the truth, hm?" You watched Guy's smirk falter. Enough games. You stared at Baldwin with determination. "Here's what has happened Baldwin: Charlotte didnt just happen to drop by Jerusalem. No, Guy summoned her by pretending to be you. Oh and I have that exact letter where Guy used your respectful name as proof. Guy exploited Charlotte and his plan was to use her and her son's illness to infect you so that you could die and he could get your throne."
Guy's face paled. But you didnt stop there.
"Of course, when that didnt work because you and I have an unbreakable bond, Guy decided to get rid of me." You looked at Salauddin. "When I left for Egypt and I was at Salauddin's camp, he had hired assassins to ambush us in the dead of the night and kill me or Salauddin, or both! If I were to die while I was with Salauddin, he would've convinced you that Salauddin was the one who killed me. And if Salauddin was dead, then it meant good news for Guy because he would have to deal with one less enemy after he took your throne."
"Lies! There's no proof-"
"No proof? Baldwin, did you realise that more than half of my entourage was missing? Its because they're dead. And if that isnt enough proof, then this might help-" You pulled up your sleeves to show your fading burn marks. "My back is full of these marks because the assassins left me to die in a burning tent. It was Salauddin who saved me!"
"And today? When we heard you were coming, everyone thought that there will be a war. I left the palace on my own, to find you Baldwin. I wanted to stop you from committing unnecessary bloodshed! I came to Abbas's house to get my gift for you, but Guy sent a thief after us! The thief knocked us out and he robbed us both!" You explained. "Didn't you ever wonder Baldwin- why Guy decided to accompany you today? Guy has never left Jerusalem, not even for a war, not to defend his people. He wouldnt leave the throne empty! He hopes, he prays and he plots for you to die everytime you leave Jerusalem so that he can finally be king!"
"BLASPHEMOUS!" Guy screamed, red in the face. "You wench-!"
"With all due respect Guy, which is NONE! I didnt think you would be smart enough to come up with such schemes. I underestimated you, which turned out to be mistake because you made Baldwin doubt me!"
Guy shook his head and stood in between you and Baldwin, acknowledging the stoic faced king first. "This is slander! All lies, Baldwin! I'm your brother-in-law! I would never betray you!"
"Never betray Baldwin? You aren't even loyal to Sibylla! I could have more than half of Jerusalem attest to that you've tried sleeping with other women! Adulterer!" Guy's eyes practically popped out of his socket and he screeched.
"You dare accuse me of cheating?! YOU?! You're the one who is locked in a dark room with a strange man in your lap like a fucking whore!" Not risking Baldwin's suspicion, Guy stormed towards you with his hand raised to strike you.
"You unfaithful, lying bitch-!" You heard the air being sliced and you flinched as you felt something splatter across your cheek.
Thud.
You looked down to where the sound came from.
Guy's head dropped in front of you.
Your ears began ringing. Slowly, your eyes trailed back up to where his body remained.
Headless body. That fell to its knees before dropping to the side.
You could hear the ringing get louder.
Baldwin stood there, his eyes full of rage, his hand holding his sword that had just cut off Guy's head.
He was breathing heavily, nostrils flared and a vein popped in his temple. Your heart dropped as his eyes landed on you and he moved towards you.
Your consciousness finally gave out.
Salauddin caught you but not for long as Baldwin made his way to you. Fearing for you, Salauddin tried to bargain for your life.
"Baldwin, she didnt-"
"Let her go. Now." Baldwin commanded, throwing Abbas's head off your lap. He didnt wait for Salauddin to move, simply taking you from his arms, ripping off the chaddar and replacing it with his cloak instead, before picking you up.
"Lets go home." He whispered in your ear before kissing your temple, pulling you snug against him as he walked out of the room.
-
You wake up to the feeling something wet on your legs. You jolt, eyes snapping open as you look for your potential assaulter-
"Isabella?" You croaked as you saw the young girl at the foot of the bed, her face red and eyes swollen from all the crying.
"P-princess." She greeted tearfully, holding a wet towel in her hand. Her lips wobbled as she spoke, nose bright red, sniffling as she stared at you with those big sad eyes.
"What's wrong?" You couldnt help but be soft with her. She just- she looked so pitiful.
She looked down, her hands clutching the towel tightly. "You- you were- you were gone for so many hours. I- I didnt know where you were- his majesty and the sultan- they were so mad- they were so concerned- i- i didnt think they believed me when I said I didnt know- where- where you were- i thou-thought you were-" Her tears cut off her hiccuping explanation. You didnt think she would be this distraught over you.
"Its... its okay, Isabella. You didnt do anything wrong. I'm... fine." You tried to calm her down, beckoning her forward. You sat up on the bed, taking the rag from her hands before holding her hands in yours. Giving them a gentle squeeze, you assured her. "I'm fine, Isabella. In fact, I should apologise for causing you all the trouble-" She shook her head. "No- princess- its my duty to serve-" You gave her hands another squeeze, calming her down.
"Thank you- oh. Isabella-" You looked at her hands, noticing something red peeking from her wrist. You pulled her sleeve up, realising that the redness was from the welts on her arms. "What happened?" You asked, turning her wrist around, noticing a small scratch.
She pulled her hands away, pulling down her sleeves as she sniffled. "N-nothing to worry about, princess-"
"Did you get injured? Are you okay?" She nodded. "I just- when I heard you were missing, it made me worry too much and I- I tend to scratch my arms when I'm stressed!"
You gave her sympathetic look, grabbing the cool towel from earlier and handing it to her. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Isabella. Here- take this. It'll help your skin, hm?"
"But the king asked me to wipe your sweat with this-"
"Its fine- wait? What sweat?"
She nodded. "We've been travelling through the desert for some days. His Majesty suggested I be the one to wipe you clean while you were unconscious." Now that you looked around, you realised you were in a tent, much different in design to Salauddin's.
Wait, desert?
"We've left Egypt?"
"Yes-"
She stopped speaking as soon as the sound of footsteps filled the room.
You stiffened at the sight of Baldwin.
Isabella had to only take one look at his face before taking her leave. Events of the last time you had seen him flashed through your mind, and you couldnt help but be scared of him when you remembered the murderous look on his face as he killed Guy. It is one thing to know that a king has killed people, perhaps even more brutally than this but after spending so many months with Baldwin, you had become accustomed to his soft nature. Never in your worst nightmares could you have ever imagined such a barbaric actions from him, and to his own brother-in-law.
It made you question everything, your own mortality- your own safety with him.
"How are you feeling?" He had his arms crossed behind his back as he made his way towards you. It took everything for you to not flinch back and beg for your life. No- no, you need to think smartly. If he wanted to kill you, he wouldve gotten rid of you back there-
Or maybe he has decided to torture you.
"I'm fine." You replied weakly, keeping your eyes on your lap. You dont want to risk pissing him off.
Maybe I should apologise, clear the air before he has any other doubts about me.
"I'm sorry." You said abruptly, finally looking up at him. His stoic expression didnt falter. This is not the Baldwin you knew, no. This was the king you had imagined when you first came here. Stiff and apathetic.
Taking his silence as a sign, you continued. "I'm sorry... for everything. For hiding the truth about Guy, for causing misunderstandings, for making you doubt me-"
"I never doubted you." He cut you off.
Your brows raised in surprise. He sighed sitting down on the bed besides you.
"I never doubted you, Y/n. Not once." He said with conviction."I didnt doubt you when Salauddin said you'd be with Abbas. I didnt doubt you when Guy raised false allegations. I didnt doubt you when I saw you in that dark room alone with that man. You could've been naked in there and I still would not have doubted you."
Your lips parted. What... what was he-
"You trust me? That much?" You couldn't help but whisper.
He smiled sadly. "I do. And more than that, I trust in my love for you." Baldwin looked down at his hands, still smiling gently. "I love you so deeply that I know you would never betray me. I have loved you the way I want someone to love me. My love for you... it is free of impurity, of imperfection. And thats how I know you would never betray me."
You couldnt help the tears that came in your eyes, and you looked down. How could he- how could he-
"If anyone should apologise, it should be me, Y/n." Your head snapped back at him. He was looking at you with genuine guilt. "I may have loved you deeply but I have failed to express it to you. Had I- had I done a better job, had I let you know just how much I feel for you, you wouldn't have hesitated to come to me. You wouldn't have felt the need to hide your traumas, your pain from me. You wouldn't have felt shy to get my help, to tell me your secrets. All of this could've been avoided if I had made you feel secure enough to come to me. I alone am responsible-"
"Baldwin." Your teary voice cut him off. You shake your head, sniffling at him. "This- this isnt your fault- I-"
"You did nothing wrong." He assured you, holding your hand. "Traps were set for you, but it was my job to save you from them. I am your protector, your shield. I owe my life to you. I owe everything to you."
A tear slipped from your eye. "I- I didnt think you'd save me. I thought you didnt trust me- I thought I lost you forever." You dont know why you said that, but they were true.
"I would've found you. I will always find you." Baldwin cupped your cheek, he felt his heart break at your confession.
"If I don't go to you Y/n, then where do I go?" And at that, the dam you'd been holding finally broke.
Baldwin immediately pulled you into his lap, his arms wrapping around you as you buried your head into his shoulder, sobs wracking your entire being. You dont know why you're crying, whether its because of Baldwin's pure love for you, or that Guy is dead because of you and you've ruined the timeline, or because you're mourning the loss of your time machine and its just dawning on you that you're stuck here forever.
He patted your back, rocking you gently like a child. "All my paths lead to you, Y/n. All my conquests bring me to you. Everything leads to you." He kissed your cheek, his hand petting your hair smoothly as you broke down in his arms. "You... you are the beginning and end of my everything."
Baldwin pulled you away and wiped your tears away with his thumbs. "I love you, Y/n. And I know you love me too. You may not say it, but I know deep down in your heart, you love me. I know you do-"
"I love you, Baldwin." You said.
His eyes went wide. "You don't have to say it-"
"I love you, Baldwin. I really do." You admitted.
Baldwin's shock was replaced with joy, a grin gracing his face as he cupped your face and kissed your forehead deeply.
"You have no idea how happy you've made me." He whispered before pulling you into his embrace.
-
Following this, you both began your journey back to Jerusalem. Every now and then, you'd start crying again because you'd realised just how much you were loved by Baldwin. You remembered the time when you saw him with Charlotte and you didn't give him a chance to explain. You had already decided that he was a cheater, he was disloyal. Yet when the tables were turned, when everything pointed against you and Baldwin had every right to find you disloyal, have you punished for even being in a locked room with another man, he trusted you. He didn't question your love for him. And even if you didn't love him back then, you respected him enough, both as a king and as a man and he still didn't ask for an explanation, let alone accuse you of adultery.
The rest of the trip home was spent with you crying and Baldwin consoling you like a toddler. No matter how many times your tears fell, he was right there to wipe them away and assure you that you did nothing wrong.
Did you love Baldwin? Maybe not back then, but you do now. Perhaps he was right. Maybe you did love Baldwin deep down, you just didn't know it.
And it's not like you don't have a choice either way. With your time machine lost, you can't leave this place. So, you've accepted your fate and agreed to marry him. Baldwin says the wedding preparations are mostly complete and the wedding day is on Sunday.
Today is Friday, when you both finally reach Jerusalem. It didn't dawn on you until now just how you were going to face Sibylla, the woman whose husband was killed because of you.
But Baldwin already had a plan. "Guy was buried in an unmarked grave outside of Egypt. I have instructed my knights to inform everyone that Guy had died a dishonourable death because he was a traitor to the crown."
"Traitor to the crown?"
He nodded. "I'll tell Sibylla I caught him cheating on her and plotting against me." He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Its believable. She'll be upset, but she'll get over it. Besides, she deserves better than him. I have already found a list of suitors for her."
He truly has thought of everything.
-
Sibylla as expected was the grieving widow and after she welcomed you and Baldwin, she excused herself and left. You pitied her, she really did love Guy despite all his shortcomings. But she also respected her brother.
After a quiet dinner, you had returned to your room. You sat on your bed as you thought over the events of the past few days. Baldwin had assured you that he doesnt hold any hostility towards Salauddin. In fact, to further put your mind at peace, he told you that he had invited Salauddin to the wedding. As for Abbas, Baldwin said he doesnt know what happened to him but he's sure Salauddin didnt harm the man.
"Did you ever find your family?" Baldwin had asked earlier. You shook your head, telling him that you mistaken someone you thought was family.
"I know you would prefer to have the Nikkah first, before our actual wedding, but I wasnt able to find someone to marry us off in the Islamic way. But then-" He grinned, almost proud of himself. "I decided who better than Salauddin?! Since he'll be arriving on the day of the ceremony, he could walk you down the aisle and then later that day, he could do the Nikkah for us!" You could only smile and agree, what difference does it make what ceremony happens first? You're stuck here either way, and you're gonna be his wife soon.
You sighed and got up to dress into something more comfortable. As you removed your clothes, your hand found something in your underclothes.
The key.
You fiddled with it. Its useless now. The thief probably has broken your machine or sold it and it could be anywhere in the world now, also useless without this key here.
You put it back in your underclothes. Perhaps it'll be of use you can craft your machine again one day.
Lying in your bed, you thought about Guy. You didnt feel guilty, no. He had it coming, and it really was a matter of you versus him at the end. But what bothers you is how much you had underestimated him.
Guy's plan was perfect. There was no chance of escape for you. He had ambushed you and Salauddin, and when you narrowly escaped that attack, he brought Baldwin to Egypt to cause misunderstandings between him and Salauddin. And when they found you with Abbas, all his allegations were perfectly said. You're only here because Baldwin was far too much in love with you. He had no reason to not take Guy's words over yours.
You turned to your side and closed your eyes.
Perhaps God saved me.
-
Today is Saturday and Sibylla had taken you to get your dress fitted.
"Whats that?" You pointed at the huge frame, covered by silk as the servants struggled to hang it on the wall.
"Oh, you're not supposed to see it yet, but Baldwin had commissioned a portait of you. He wants to gift it to you tomorrow, so dont peek. He'd hate to miss your first reaction." She explained.
"You look... absolutely stunning." Sibylla praised as she looked at you in awe. She brought some jewellery to pair with your white gown. A diamond necklace, tear drop earrings, and-
The ring.
"Its the-"
"The exact same ring!" Sibylla finished for you, slipping it on your finger. "After yours was stolen by that thief in Egypt, Baldwin had the same ring made again by the royal jeweller within a day!" Your heart warmed at the gesture. Baldwin must've known you felt guilty over losing his family ring.
"Isabella, will you pass me the veil?" You asked. Isabella brought the soft veil and helped you wear it. As she was adjusting it, your eyes caught sight of her hands again.
"Oh, they didnt heal?" You gently grabbed her hands, taking note of the same red welts on her arms again. She pulled her hands from your grasp away.
"N-no, they healed princess. Its just- its that I'm stressed again! Thats why my skin is itchy and I- scratched them raw."
"Stressed? By what?" You asked.
"Oh- um, the wedding." She muttered. "Its- its not that I'm not excited for it, I am very happy for the union of you and His majesty, but its just we have very little time and there's so much to do-"
You giggled, nodding at her understandingly. "I see. Well, I apologise for causing you to stress. And I hope you know how much I appreciate your efforts."
"Its my honour to serve you, princess." She squeaked.
"Well, do get those checked out soon, Isabella. I dont want you getting sick." Sibylla advised the young girl who bowed her head before taking her leave.
Sometime later, after you had lunch with Baldwin, you decided to go to the gardens and... be by yourself for a while.
Planned or not, I'm getting married tomorrow. This will be my last day as a single woman and I... I should savour every moment left.
You were sitting in a cozy little spot in the royal garden. It was besides the huge bush maze, near the area where your time machine had first gotten burned by the maids accidentally. Speaking of maids, the small entourage had given you space and were standing near the maze, away from your eyes with some knights. They were all eager to please you, the future queen, if only to get a better status by you or Baldwin.
But you had already decided to make Isabella your lady-in-waiting. She deserves it, for everything she's done for you.
You laid down on the soft bed of grass, looking up at the sky as you wondered what will happen tomorrow. Well, nothing about the wedding, Sibylla had made you rehearse several times that you knew exactly how the ceremony will go tomorrow. No, you were curious about... how your wedding will impact the future.
Will you cease to exist? Will the world change because the crusades might not happen since a Christian king married a Muslim commoner? Will there-
Doves flew up in the sky. You smiled, recalling the doves in Abbas's house. You hoped he was alright now. Maybe he could attend the wedding-
Wait.
You sat up with a jolt at the realisation, heart beating fast as you connected the dots.
-
Isabella rushed to the gardens. A servant had told her that you had immediately summoned her. Fearing the worst, she hiked up her gown and ran as fast as she could.
She was out of breath by the time she found you. "You called for me, princess?" She gasped out. You hummed, standing beside a gilded cage of doves.
"Arent they so beautiful?" You asked her, beckoning her to come forward. "They are indeed." She agreed, standing beside you.
"I was thinking of releasing them tomorrow, outside the chapel. All the maids could hold them in their hands and release them as I walk out with the king. What do you think?"
She nodded. "Wonderful idea. I'll go and have it arranged-"
"Hm? Oh, I took care of that. Why dont you open the cage and hold this one for me?" You smiled at her as you made you took a few steps back. "And gloves off, Isabella. I want to see how you will look like tomorrow."
Isabella throat ran dry, She gulped looking at you, then at the cage before back at you.
"I- I cant hold the doves, princess. They'll slip out of my hands-"
"We have plenty here for you to practise. Dont worry. Now make haste." You crossed your arms in front of you and looked at her expectantly.
She parted her lips to say something, but then looked back at the cage. "Whats the matter? Dont know how to hold them?" You sighed before making your way back to the cage. "They're just tiny little birds, gentle ones really. They wont bite you, so I dont know why you fear them. Here, let me show you how to hold one." You opened the cage and carefully held the dove in your hands, petting it softly. "There, there."
You suddenly thrusted the bird in her direction, and Isabella jumped back. "What's the matter? Scared of birds?"
Isabella hesitantly nodded. "Yes, I'm sorry princess- I- I- dont like birds. I'm very much afraid of them." You nodded understandingly, before placing the bird back in the cage. "How very inconsiderate of me. Very well, off you go." Isabella bowed graciously and was about to leave when you suddenly grabbed her arm and rubbed a feather along her exposed arm.
"P-princess-!" She shrieked, trying to yank her arm out of your grasp but your grip didnt relent.
"Would you look at that?" You grinned looking at the area turning bright red. "Are you itchy now? Did I stress you too much?"
Isabella could only look at you in horror as you became angry.
"How stupid do you think I am?" You snarled before throwing her hand down. "That itchy red skin wasnt from stress, it was from birds!" Her eyes widened.
"You had me thinking that your tears, your red skin, your snotty sniffles was because you were soooo concerned for me. But you actually had the rose fever from birds!" You recalled seeing the scratch on her hands the day you had first seen her skin, which wasnt just random skin welts. They were hives, from her allergy to avian protein (or birds, in simple terms).
Isabella could only look at you in silence as you continued. "How long did you think you could keep this charade up? Did you honestly think I wouldnt find out?!" She kept quiet while you continued, which only made you angrier.
"It was you. You were the thief. You- only you knew when I would leave the palace. You followed me! And you stole from me?!" When she didnt speak, your threatened her.
"Say something before I tell the king how you attacked me!"
Isabella looked up, and she smirked.
"You have no proof."
You looked at her in disbelief. Instead of defending herself, denying all the things- she basically admitted to it all.
"Isabella, where are my belongings?" You asked her. "If you return my things, I wont let you stay here, but I will let you leave this castle on your two feet." You didnt bother asking her why she did it, you cant waste any more time. You need to get your time machine back.
She shrugged, playing with her nails. Now that she was caught, she didnt bother putting up her scared, demure little girl image. "It doesnt matter. You will never get it. And you're not getting rid of me either. After all, you have no proof of any of the things you accused me of."
"You think you're going to get away with it?" She hummed. "I already have, princess. Now, I will be returning to my duties to prepare for you wedding tomorrow. And I think we'll do no birds-"
You pulled out a knife, silencing her. She looked at the knife before smiling. "Are you really going to kill me? Did you forget how I overpowered you and Abbas back there?"
"I havent." You bring the knife up to your throat. "But if you dont tell me where my belongings are this instant, I will slit my throat and let you explain to the king how you killed me. Oh and you may think you can just sneak out of here, but remember, there's a whole entourage who saw you come here. They'll tell Baldwin you were the last person to see me, and then no matter where you run, Baldwin will hunt you down. Him and his Templar knights."
Her brows furrowed at your threat. "Princess, I dont-"
"Dont think for a moment I wont do it, Isabella. I'm mental." When she remained quiet, you pressed the blade harder into your neck, just enough for the skin to break and blood to pour, making her eyes wide.
"Okay! Okay- stop! I'll tell you."
-
Isabella lead you to a room inside the castle, hidden away in a corner. You had never been here before, you realised when you stepped inside. She pulled out a drawer from the desk, which had a false floor in it. Lifting the wooden panel, you saw all your belongings, including your time machine.
"Leave." You ordered her. Once you were alone, you pulled out the key from your underclothes and placed it inside. Saying a tiny prayer, you turned on the machine.
It worked. The tiny lights turned on. All you had to do was set the date and-
The machine was snatched from your hands. "Isabella drop-!" Your eyes widened at the sight of Baldwin holding the machine.
"What are you doing?" He asked you, looking at the machine.
"Baldwin, please give it back-"
"This?" He shook the machine in his hands. "Sure, you can have it." He smiled at you before bashing the machine to the ground.
"BALDWIN NO! STOP!" You tried to stop him, but Baldwin pushed you away and kept smashing the machine until its lights went out and they key broke.
"NOOOOO!" You finally snatched it from his hands but it was too late. The screen wouldnt turn on, wouldnt display the date no matter what you did. The key was broken.
"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" You cried out.
"What is wrong with me? What is wrong with you?!" Baldwin yelled. "What were you going to do with that? Leave me, the love of your life, to go where?! Back to heaven?!"
Heaven? No fucking way-
"Do you- do you actually think I'm an angel?" Oh god. The look on his face was enough to let you know that he was actually serious.
"You can deny it all you want, but I am your husband to be and you cannot lie to me! You appeared out of nowhere in my castle. You cured me, you brought that baby back to life and you have escaped death one too many times! You may think I'm a fool, but I'm the king of Jerusalem, head of the Church and you were sent to me by God Himself! YOU ARE MINE AND I WILL NOT LET YOU GO BACK!"
Oh God. Oh God, you're marrying a crazy person.
Wait.
"How did you know I was here?" Your brows knitted together when he didnt reply, still looking at you in rage. "Did Isabella-" You gasped.
Of course. OF-FUCKING-COURSE!
"She wasnt a thief. She was a spy!" You chuckled humourlessly. "All this time, I thought Guy was behind it all, but I knew- I knew he was too dumb to come up with such a plan. It was you! It was always you! You sent the Ismailis after me! You sent Isabella after me to steal my belongings and spy on me! You set me up with Abbas so that when you "saved" me, I'd fall for you! Oh and I'm sure you made it seem like Charlotte was also here because Guy had called her. You framed Guy just so that you could have an excuse to get rid of him!"
"I did it because I love you!"
"You hurt me because you loved me?" You whispered to him, tears flowing down your cheeks. "I almost burned to death because of you. And you say- no. Why did you do this, Baldwin? Why the hell did you do all this?!"
"I was- I was testing you." He answered, bending down on his knee to cup your face. "I... only wanted to see if you would come to me for help. If you truly trusted me, loved me enough to come to me." He wiped your tears away. "I'm sorry it had to happen this way, but it worked out in the end-"
"You dont test the people you love, Baldwin."
"Oh, come on. Even God tests his strongest believers-"
"YOU ARE NOT GOD!" You shrieked, pushing him away.
"I'm not, but I'm special to Him. He made you for me. He gifted you to me. He made you fall in love-"
"I dont love you!" You cried. "I can never love you! Never!"
Baldwin's face hardened. "You do love me. You said so yourself. Now, youre just saying nonsense out of hysterics. Calm down-"
"I hate you. I have never loathed anything as much as I loathe you. I would never love you, even if you were the last man on Earth. I fucking hate you."
Baldwin stared at your red face. "Well, I hope you can change your mind because we will be getting married tomorrow regardless." He tried to touch your face but you slapped his hand away. "Besides, I love you enough for the both of us."
-
Its Sunday. You were locked in your room with a whole infantry ordered to not let you out. You had cried the entire night at your loss, at your fate, at your stupidity. How could you have ever trusted Baldwin? And now you will have to marry this religious lunatic.
The maids did their best to dress you up and tried to mask your red, swollen eyes. And with Isabella in the room, you were sure she had told them to not comment at your pitiful state.
You were standing outside the chapel with Salauddin. Everything seemed to blur, the choir singing, the attendees- you couldnt focus on anything.
"Y/n." You finally looked up at Salauddin, who was looking at you with deep concern. "Are you okay?" He asked you, noticing your teary eyes and dull expression.
"No."
He wasnt expecting you to answer bluntly.
"Do you want to marry Baldwin?" He whispered.
"No."
"I can help you-"
"No." You sniffled. "No one can."
The knights stood outside the chapel doors, waiting for you to enter. A few ladies held your trail behind you. Salauddin cast a glance at them before passing you something in your hand discreetly.
"Abbas asked me to give you this."
You opened your palm to see-
A key.
The key!
But how did he make this? You never designed it-
You smiled. That genius. He must've used the other parts to figure out the design and crafted it.
Abbas, I'm sorry I dont give you enough credit.
"Give him my thanks. And a lot of money, hm?" Salauddin could only nod in confusion. You looked back at your ladies. "I need to pee." Their eyes widened at the use of such crass language, especially in front of the sultan.
"But princess, the ceremony is about to start-"
"Would you rather I pee in my gown?" You snapped.
"But there is no bathroom here-"
"Then be useful and find a sheet and a bush. Now!" They all scrambled away to find some bush. You looked at the knights in front of you. "Go inside and inform them of a delay. The princess has to take a shit."
They looked hesitant to leave. "I'm not taking off my underclothes in front of you men. LEAVE!" They hurriedly went inside and closed the door to give you privacy.
You looked at Salauddin. "Can I borrow your horse?" He nodded, helping you up on it.
"Where are you going? I'll come with."
You shake your head. "No. I have to go alone. And I suggest you go inside as well."
"Y/n-"
"Please, Salauddin. No more questions. I dont want to lie to you." You smiled at him.
Salauddin reluctantly went inside the chapel, and you rode the horse out of there. There was only so long before Baldwin realised you had left, so you needed to speed things up. Grateful that you had swapped your broken time machine during your heated argument with Baldwin. You placed the new key in, just as you heard the sound of galloping horses and Baldwin-
"Y/N!" You didnt pay attention as you sped off ahead, only stopping when you reached the edge of the cliff. Climbing down, you looked at your machine as you turned the key.
It didnt turn on.
No. No. No-
"Y/N! GET BACK HERE!" Baldwin yelled at you, getting off his horse as he made his way. His troops had surrounded the area so you couldnt escape.
You looked back at your time machine and you- you banged it with your hand. "Come on. Come on!" This had to work- you banged on it as you would bang on a TV set when it stopped working, on a remote when it didnt operate quite right.
"Did you think you could escape me?!" You looked up and Baldwin was a few feet away.
"Baldwin stop!" You took a step back, nearing the cliff. "I'll jump-I'll fucking jump, I swear!" He halted.
"Dont be stupid, Y/n. Come to me, and we can put this behind us-"
You banged on the machine, cutting him off.
The machine turned on.
You grinned as Baldwin stared at you, shaking his head. "Dont-"
You jumped, pressing the button and hoping you returned to your time. You hadnt been able to set the date cause of the broken buttons.
The last thing you heard was Baldwin screaming your name.
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So what do you guys think? Yall better comment and send asks and reboots because i sacrificed lunch and dinner for this.
Also, what do u guys think will happen in the next part? Do you think she'll return home or to a new timeline??? And which era???👁👁
PART 8 is here!
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cameronluvr · 4 months
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BABY TRAPPED — dark!rafe x fem reader
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summary: rafe purposely gets you pregnant against your own will after you choose the pogues instead of him.
warnings: 18+ !!, DUBCON, forced pregnancy, toxic relationship, abusive relationship, dark!rafe, arguing, fighting, choking, SMUT, fingering, slapping, unprotected sex (p in v) forced sex, jealous!rafe, kinda stalker!rafe, kidnapping(?), creampie, teen pregnancy. (lmk if anymore!)
: ̗̀➛ 𝓶𝔂 𝓶𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽 ⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ PART 2
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you had been at john b’s chateau for most of the day hanging out with your friends, but you’d promised your parents you’d be home before midnight. looking at the time on your phone, you noticed it was 11:13 pm.
you’d been drinking a little bit, and so had your friends, so driving home wasn’t an option. “guys, i’m gonna need to leave soon” you say over the mild volume of music playing.
“why?” kiara asks. “my parents told me i had to be home before 12. they’re kinda worried about me because of the whole.. you know.. rafe thing” you reply.
over the past few weeks you’d been going through a rough breakup with rafe. you couldn’t handle him anymore. his anger, his jealousy, his everything. he was no good for you anymore, and with the whole rafe vs pogues situation, you had to pick a side. your boyfriend or your best friends.
you had to pick your friends. there was no other choice, no other way out. rafe had tormented your friends for months. he pulled his gun on them, he beat them up, he attempted to kill kiara and his own sister sarah. and he almost killed you.
you’d lost track of how many fights you had with him, how many times he hit you and you hit him back. the screaming wars you’d have always ended up with him choking you or slapping you, and ward having to physically pull him away from you.
you just couldn’t put up with him anymore. he was manipulative, toxic, and most of all abusive. your friends knew about all of this, and tried so hard to get you away from him, but you couldn’t escape from him. he’d always convince you otherwise, guilt trip you, lie to you, twist your words…
“ya’ want me to walk you home?” jj asks, sitting beside you, smoking his blunt. you think about it for a second, but decline his offer. “thanks, but i’m okay, really. i’ll be fine” you nod and smile. “you sure?” sarah asks from across the room as they all practically look at you as if you were crazy. rafe was crazy, and if he saw you alone, only god knows what he would do…
“yeah, i’m good. i think i need to be alone anyway. take a nice walk by myself” you shrug. you hadn’t really had much alone time in months, considering you had a boyfriend glued to your hip out of distrust.
“okay, well, please call us if you need us, m’kay?” sarah says, walking over to you to hug you. she’s worried for you the most, you’re her best friend and her own brother is ruining your life. “i will, promise” you smile, standing up to hug her tightly.
“love you, y/n” kiara says with a smile as you walk out the door, saying bye to them all. you blow a kiss to kie before shutting the door behind you. they all know you’re going through a tough time, so they’re trying their best to be there for you and look out for you. they all love you.
walking home now, you stroll down the dark, long road ahead, with nothing surrounding you but tall trees and dim streetlights. no people, no lit-up houses, just dark and quiet streets with people in bed.
you walk for ten more minutes before you hear a car approaching from behind you. you give it no thought though, not wanting to worry yourself. the car gets closer, as if it were going to drive straight past you, but suddenly, you hear the car slowing down and eventually stopping right next to you. you don’t want to look, but you have to.
your heart sank into your chest when you noticed rafe’s black range rover, right as the window rolled down. it was rafe. “y/n get in.” his tone demanding and angry. “no, leave me alone.” you quickly turn around, power walking away. however, he only follows you. he slowly drives, following you, speeding up and slowing down whenever you do.
“y/n just get in i wanna talk” he says out the window, resting his arm on it as he watches you, attempting to talk to you. “rafe, leave me the fuck alone.” your voice gets louder, but you’re not yelling, yet. “save yourself the hassle and get in for fuck’s sake” he says, getting more frustrated by the second.
“no” you say, not looking in his direction at all. “oh my god” he says, sighing before putting the car in park and getting out. “no, go away!” you say, attempting to run but he grabs you before you can. you thrash around in his arms before he picks you up and drags you to his car.
“put me down!” you yell at him, trying to fight him but he is much stronger than you are. he opens the passenger door, shoving you inside before quickly getting in the drivers seat and locking the doors.
“what the fuck are you d—” you scream at him before his hand roughly covers your mouth, shutting you up. “i just wanted to talk, but you always have to make it hard, don’t you?” he says, eventually letting go of your mouth and seeing a mark left over from how tight his grip was.
“i don’t want to fucking talk! you yell as he rolls the windows all the way up so nobody can hear you fussing. “i don’t care. who the fuck do you think you are?” he yells at you, making you flinch. “what?” your eyebrows furrow.
“choosing those fucking trash pogues over me. are you serious? dumping me for them?” he argues. you’ve had this argument with him plenty of times, he seems to not be able to let it go. or let you go. “rafe. i didn’t want to be your girlfriend anymore, okay? you’re abusive, you’re mean, you’re—” you say, only to be cut off by his laughter. “abusive? for wanting to protect you? for wanting the best for you? right” he squints his eyes. “wanting the best for me? are you serious? you’ve done nothing but hurt me, and hurt my friends, including your own sister, by the way!” you argue, but he scoffs and tuts, as if they were nothing.
“because i told you so many fucking times to stay away from them, didn’t i?” he screams in your face, watching as you flinch with fear. “yeah, you did, but they are my friends, rafe, sarah is my best friend and you tried to kill her? she’s your fucking sister you should love her more than you love me” you say, voice getting higher out of frustration for him. how can he be so naive and cruel?
“her? she’s no sister of mine. that bitch has always been against me” he scoffs, speaking so lowly of his own little sister. “no she hasn’t, rafe!” you try to tell him, but every word that comes out of your mouth is a lie according to his delusions.
“right, whatever.” he rolls his eyes at you and your ‘lies’, but he just doesn’t want to accept the truth. he’s the problem, he turned everyone against himself. “i love you, yeah? i never stopped” he suddenly says, looking at you.
“well i have.” you say, but hearing those words were gut wrenching to him. you crossed the line. he unexpectedly and quickly reaches over, grabbing you by the throat and squeezing his fingers.
“i never wanna hurt you, y/n. you make me do it. i want to love you, but when you’re running off with your little friends behind my back, you make it hard to trust you, yeah?” he explains in his usual manipulative tone.
“rafe…” you force out, feeling as his grip tightens, his nails basically digging into your skin. “can you let me love you like i want to? like i’ve been trying to?” he asks, watching as your face turns redder and redder.
he loves watching you struggle, it was his favorite part of having power over you. it’s like it turns him on to hurt you. “please.. stop…” you struggle to say as he just keeps begging for your love.
“y/n, let me show you how much i really love you. please?” he asks softly, looking at you with adoration as if his own hand isn’t almost causing you to lose consciousness. he was psychotic. “ok.. ok.. yeah.. just let me go” you choke, nodding your head as fast as you can. you didn’t want to agree, but you had to otherwise he wasn’t going to stop.
and who knows what he would’ve done if you had passed out? you’d dread to think. “yeah? atta’ girl. i knew you’d come to terms with me sooner or later” he says, smiling as if he didn’t force the right answer out of you. he lets go of your throat, loving the sound of you gasping for air and regaining your breath.
you wanted to hit him so bad, you wanted to insult him and call him names but most importantly, you didn’t want him to actually kill you. “let’s go somewhere private, hm?” he suggests, like you could say no. you stay silent in his passenger seat, nodding at everything he’s saying, submitting to your fear of him.
he puts the car into gear and begins driving off. he drives five minutes down the road before turning down an off road path which lead to the lake, but he stopped in the secluded path surrounded by more trees, and more darkness.
turning his engine off, he turns to face you. “do you love me?” he asks. you’re terrified to answer. you’d be lying if you said yes, but if you said no, you’d find out. “…yes” you gulp, fearing him deeply. “good girl” he smirks, smelling your fear like a dog could.
he loves it. he loves you being afraid to say something he doesn’t want to hear, that’s the first step to being the perfect girlfriend in his eyes, you always know the right answer.
he turns in his seat to face you, reaching his hand over to your thigh. he rubs it, trailing his hand up and closer to your pussy, but you shift your legs the other way to move his hand away, making him grab your thigh and moving it back to where it was.
“don’t act like you don’t want it. you just said you love me” he leans over, darkly whispering in your ear which sent shivers down your spine. “i.. i do” you lie, not wanting to send him over the edge. he smirks at your words, leaning his head down to your neck to kiss it. you don’t want his touch, but you need it.
“rafe…” you whisper, trying your best not to want it but it’s difficult when he’s kissing your neck and moving his hand up your thigh again, only this time you don’t move your legs when he gets close to your pussy. you’re wearing jeans, so you feel his hand unbuttoning them which made you nervous, but you let it happen anyway.
“what baby?” he whispers, lifting his head from your neck to look at you. “i—” you say, cut off by the feeling of his cold hand slipping into your jeans. you jump at the temperature of his skin, which made him laugh. “come on, just take it” he licks his lips, looking at yours before kissing them. you kiss him back, and eventually start making out with him.
mid kiss, his hand slips into your panties, making you hum a moan. “you like that?” he asks, rubbing circles on your clit before breaking the kiss. “mhm” you hum, but his other hand reaches behind your head and grabs a fistful of your hair, pulling your head back. “use your words, princess” he tells you, his dark eyes staring into yours. “…yes.” you hesitate to say, but you go along with it for your own safety and his sanity.
“hmm.. good” he smirks, letting go of your hair and kissing you again before his hand slid down your pussy, to your hole. you gasp at his sudden movement, but he chuckles at you. “you’re so wet. i’m always turning you on, huh?” he says, opening his mouth and mocking your gasp.
you chuckle too, wanting him to know you’re on the same page. after seconds of his fingers teasing your hole, he slides two of them into you. you gasp, moaning as his fingers fill you up to his knuckles. “so deep..” you moan, tensing up in your seat at his touch.
but it wasn’t long before he had you stripped off and sitting on his lap with the seat pushed all the way back. “fuck” he moans at the sight of your pretty tits, his hands grabbing your ass cheeks.
“if we do this… will you leave me alone after?” you ask, terrified to say but it needed to be said. “yeah, of course, i promise” he says like it’s nothing, like he didn’t even hear those words come out of your mouth. you were expecting a different reaction, but he had a different plan.
you felt like you had to have sex with him one last time for him to be able to move on from you. or so you thought that’s how it would be. “i love you, but if i need to leave for you to be happy, then i will” he says, almost believably.
but that was a lie.
pulling his boxers off allowed his hard dick to spring out, hitting your leg. you both giggle before starting to make out again, where his hands slid from your ass cheeks to your hips, his fingers twirling the sides of your panties before pulling them down and off your feet.
“ride me, princess” he says, both of your warm areas touching. you nod, lifting yourself up and positioning yourself above his cock before his hands roughly gripped your waist, pulling you to sit down on it.
you let out a loud moan of pain and pleasure. “fuuuck” he drags, closing his eyes as he pulled you up and down, choosing the speed and roughness for you. your moans cried out, you didn’t know if it hurt or felt good more.
“i missed you so much. i missed this pussy” he tells you, his hands roaming your naked back as his dick harshly thrusts up into you. “i missed you” you say, knowing you didn’t mean a single word. your horniness and desire to please him took over.
“you’re mine, baby” he tells you, his fingernails digging into your hips, making you cry out. he was so good at pleasing your pussy that you ruled out the pain he caused. “…always” you say, starting to question whether or not he was being honest about leaving you alone.
his pace is rough, he’s fucking you so harshly that you don’t think he’s ever gone this hard on you before. it hurts, but it hurts so good. “ow.. fuck.. rafe” you moan loudly like a porn star. “that’s it, baby” he says, feeling closer and closer to coming each time he thrust up into you.
your legs start to burn and ache, and he can tell by how much your legs are shaking. so he pulls you off of him, and guides you into the back seats where he climbs over after you.
he lays you down on your back, spreading your bodies over the three seats. he positions his cock near your pussy again, before sliding in with no warning. you moan, wrapping your arms around his back and gripping his shoulders. “fuckkk” he moans in your ear, making you much wetter. no matter how much you hate rafe cameron, his moans were your weakness.
the rougher and meaner he got, the more aroused he was. it wasn’t long before he started choking you, and slapping you around. it’s what he does during sex. he loves the power, he loves the dominance he has over you. you allowed it, though, because this was the last time. right?..
minutes later, you you felt him speeding up and becoming more tense, which meant he was gonna finish any second now. you, however, weren’t even close to finishing. it did feel good, but it didn’t change your feelings for him. you can’t come over somebody you hate so much.
“fuck baby.. ‘m gonna cum…” he says, twitching his dick as he empties his load into you. you moan at the feeling of his warm cum filling you up and leaking out after. he slowly pulls out, smirking knowing he’s hiding a huge secret from you.
he snuck into your house a few days ago while you were out with the pogues, and swapped your birth control pills for fake ones. but you had no idea…
it wasn’t until two weeks later when you were throwing up in your toilet, and crying your eyes out when you realized you’d missed your period. “fuck” you say, grabbing an emergency pregnancy test from the cabinet above the sink. you had them hidden in there just in case.
you take the pregnancy test, pacing around your bathroom for five minutes straight, waiting for the results. boom. the alarm you’d set on your phone goes off, five minutes is up. you switch the alarm off and gulp, slowly reaching for the pregnancy test. you pick it up, and gasp when you read the answer.
POSITIVE.
what the fuck are you supposed to do now?…
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NOT PROOFREAD. probably some mistakes, but my FIRST smut writing?!?!😩😩 plssssss lmk what y’all think! <333
@cameronluvr
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seresinhangmanjake · 5 months
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The Harkonnen's Sweet Thing
Feyd-Rautha x Atreides!Reader
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Summary: You watched your brother kill the man you love--a man you were once gifted to by the Baron--and now that he is gone, you think Paul will use you as a political pawn in his war. And you're right. But you're shocked to discover who is demanding to have you.
Words: 2650
Notes/Warnings: Ignore canon ages in the timeline. I don’t know what they are, but everyone young is in their twenties, cool? Cool. Dune inaccuracies. Jessica and Paul kind of (very much) suck. Feyd’s a soft boy for our reader. Angst but also fluffy-ish stuff. Implied smut. Mention of pregnancy. I think that’s it. TG:M people ignore me. I don’t know what I’m doing here either, but i'm embracing it for now. 
Part 2
When your brother pierced through armor into pale flesh, you felt it as if he had driven that blade into your body instead of the body of the man you love. You felt the shock of icy steel penetrating warm and delicate tissue, and the suffocation that came from the mutilation of your lung. You felt droplets of blood run down your front as you reached for the blade that was not there. As children, you were taught not to remove it. Not unless sufficient care was nearby to stop the bleeding before too much was lost.
Paul did not respect that knowledge. He yanked his knife out of Feyd’s torso and watched with relief as he collapsed to the ground. His body landed with a thud that matched the heavy beat of your heart. A beat that reminded you your blood was rushing strong, keeping you alive while your lover was draining dry of the strength to keep himself from leaving this world, from leaving you. 
You wailed in the silence of those around you. Screamed at the top of your lungs as tears streamed down your face. You tried to go to him but the Fremen snatched you before you could reach him, forcing you to your knees, one of them slapping a hand over your mouth. This was not the time for hysterical outbursts; it was a time to stare in awe as a new leader accepted his victory and claimed power over the emperor and his daughter. 
“Shut up, girl,” a male voice spit in your ear. He was tired of the struggle you were putting up against the hand squeezing your face. You were ruining his opportunity to witness a beautiful moment in history. A defining moment. A moment you didn’t give two fucks about. 
No one spared you a glance save for the witch whose vibrant eyes were drilling into the side of your skull. A woman your father had instructed you receive as a stepmother following your third birthday. A manipulative woman whose smile in front of the Duke had masked the scowl permanently seared onto her face when looking at you—a decades-long act that the capture and death of your father had freed her from. And she’d wasted not a second displaying her distaste for his daughter. 
Not long ago you'd thought to thank Lady Jessica for not loving you. Her lack of love made her so terribly desperate to rid herself of you that when cornered the night your family was attacked, she’d thrown you right into the arms of the Harkonnens—a fate she believed would destroy you rather than thrust you into a life you would come to cherish.
“A gift for you, nephew,” the baron had said after the fighting ceased and the soldiers, with you in their grasp, had returned to their unfamiliar home.
Feyd-Rautha had not rushed when he descended the staircase and approached you for the first time. His eyes were unblinking as he’d taken in his present; a slow drawl from head to toe that sent shivers down your spine. 
“An Atreides,” Feyd had said in a low voice, deep and thick and eerily lovely.
The baron’s voice did not contain the same appeal. “Yes. Do you like it? A new pet for you to ruin.”
You’d stood frozen as Feyd traced a knuckle down your cheek before grasping your chin and running his thumb over your bottom lip. He’d possessed not a lick of shame when his index finger drew a line from the dip of your throat to your cleavage. There had been no consideration for your feelings when he tucked that same finger between your breasts and the neckline of your nightgown and lightly tugged you forward. 
You had gasped with your stumble, your hands pressing against his chest to catch your fall while he smirked at the blush tinting your cheeks. His tongue then darted out to dampen his lips before he moved his hand to the curve of your waist and squeezed. 
“Perfect,” He’d said, not in a loud declaration of appreciation, but in a tone meant for your ears only. Then he’d grabbed you by the wrist and led you to his chambers.
When the door had slammed behind you after you were jerked inside the room, you were suddenly filled to the brim with panic. You’d heard the rumors. What would he do to you? How would he do it? Would you suffer long? 
A tear had slipped down your cheek that, once noticed, was brushed away with his thumb. 
“Do not worry yourself unnecessarily.”
You’d swallowed, stuttering, “Wh-What do you mean?”
He’d pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it aside, exposing pale skin taught over defined, well-trained muscle. Then he’d stepped into your space, inching you backward until your spine was flush with the wall. He’d fisted the flimsy, nearly see-through fabric of your nightgown in his hand and slowly dragged it up your body until fingers could sneak under the hem to graze your inner thigh.
You’d sucked in a sharp breath at the pleasurable waves of heat that rippled from his touch.
“Atreides or not, you’re much too precious to ruin the way my uncle suggests,” he had said, his lips a hair's-width away from yours. “I've been looking for you for so long. You're mine now, do you understand?”
“Y-Yes.”
“Are you afraid of me?”
He hadn’t loved your hesitation—you could see it in his eyes and in the downturn of his lips—but he was satisfied when you’d truthfully said:
“No.” Because you weren’t. Not after he had brushed that tear off of your cheek.
His next question had caused your heart to skip a beat from the concoction of emotions it shot through you. Fear of the unknown mixed with unexpected excitement.
“Have you done this before?” 
You’d shaken your head and in response he lightly nodded, his nose nudging yours. 
“You want to?” he’d asked, hiking your leg up to his hip, and you found yourself nodding as well. “I won’t make it hurt.”
You’d replied with a soft “Ok” before accepting his kiss with as much fervor as he was giving it, thankful that what you’d imagined was awaiting you upon your arrival in foreign territory was far from what you were receiving. 
Days later, when you had mentioned that he did not live up to the rumors of his cruelty extending to all areas of his life, he’d hummed. Said, “I make many bleed, and enjoy it. I feed off of their pain. Those who have been in my bed are not spared this, and it will not be uncommon for you to see me stained with the death of others, including my former pets.” 
He’d paused then, allowing you a moment to question your future as one of those pets, if that's what he considered you.
“But I have been searching for something that I’ve wanted for a very long time,” he’d said. “Something that hasn't existed within these walls. Something I will never want to harm. Something…soft…and sweet,” he had admitted to your surprise.
He’d then told you that you were that sweet thing. That he’d known it from the moment he saw you. That he was choosing you. 
But it was a choice that had its repercussions. 
All things must have balance, and you had tipped the scales. From his gentleness toward you, a darker, more gruesome beast emerged when facing off with others. A brutal warrior who never surrendered and never lost. A sadistic man who showed no mercy to the opponents whose blood you would later wash from his body. He had annihilated his previous reputation as just the famed killer of Geidi Prime and evolved into something more, all because of you.
That was why you thought he would win against Paul. Your brother was skilled, but the universe had long known the name Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen for his prowess in combat and his ruthlessness which had only grown with time. 
So why was it not your brother on the floor with his love sobbing and struggling to reach him?
In the thirteen days since your lover’s death, it is that question that has robbed you of all peace. 
Despite your brother having escorted you back to Caladan for the time being, you find no sense of home or happiness in your birthplace. You walk the beaches and fields that, as a child, you dreaded one day leaving, but they are not the same. Nearly a year has gone by since you were last here, however, so much of what you once loved about this planet is overshadowed by the shattered heart caused by Feyd's death. 
When you were young, your father would often express his wishes for your future. He would paint a beautiful image of you bringing your children to play in the gardens of your childhood home, carefree and unburdened. It was a source of comfort that he used to mask the reminder of your duty as an Atreides: that you would not be marrying and having children out of love, you would marry in the name of peace and produce heirs in the name of security. And it seems in the end, he was right.
With Feyd unable to claim you, Paul will be the one to secure new arrangements for your future, which just so happens to greatly fare in his favor. After all, he just declared war, and you are the ripened political pawn at his disposal.
“Are you well?”
You turn as sharply as you can at the intrusive voice, but the uncomfortable skirts of your dress are thick and stiff, restricting your movements. Feyd never made you wear anything like this and you forgot what it's like to be weighed down by layers of fabric. You fucking hate it.
Paul stands a few feet away, his hands clasped behind his back and a light smile on his face. Clearing his throat, he joins you on the balcony attached to your old room. 
“I know we haven’t spoken much about what’s to come. I’m sure you’ve been curious,” he says. 
You shrug, shake your head, and return your gaze to the horizon where ocean meets sky. 
“We have matters to discuss.”
Matters such as where he will be sending you off to be married, you imagine. He must act quickly if he intends to establish and gain control over house alliances, since they weren't overly enthusiastic about accepting him as their leader.
“Let's sit down,” he tells you. He grasps your hand before you can object and guides you to one of the balcony benches. Once you’re settled, he takes a seat beside you and says, “I am going to ask you something. And I want honesty.”
You sigh. “What?”
“When you were with the Harkonnens for those many months, were you treated like a slave as I had feared, or were you something far from it?”
Your eyes narrow. “Why are you asking me this?”
“Because it’s important,” Paul states, staring you directly in the eye. “I’ve been thinking about the way you wept over him after we fought, and how he denied every offer I made in exchange for your release…” With his pause, he shakes his head. “I thought maybe he had messed with your mind, confused you, and that was why you were so hysterical over his loss…but that’s not right, is it.”
“Paul–”
“Does he love you?”
It takes conscious effort to keep your body from shifting uncomfortably. “What is it to you?”
“He survived his wounds,” Paul says. 
The casualness with which he shares that news heavily contrasts everything that runs through you. Your heart stops. Your lips part, unsuccessful in drawing in oxygen. Your eyes no longer see anything but Feyd’s face as it flashes in front of you. The way he looked when he last smiled at you. The way he looked the last time he came inside of you. The look of him when he died—or almost died. Death had been there, looming over him. 
You’re trying to will away the tears. Paul is watching you too closely. “Wh–What?” you say.
“He’s alive, and he is demanding you be returned to him,” he informs you. “So, tell me: is he truly threatening me so aggressively over one of his ‘pets’? Or is he threatening me to get back the woman he loves?” 
The woman he loves. You never imagined yourself in a situation where your brother would ask if a member of a centuries-long rival house loves you. But then again, you never imagined a member of a centuries-long rival house loving you to begin with.
You remember the night he told you. It was late and your bodies were bare after having bathed together. You were searching for your nightgown when he said “Come to bed, my love.” 
You sighed, defeated. He’d called you that before, but whether it was real or not was such a mystery and it hurt your heart a little bit more each time. “You shouldn’t call me your love unless you mean it,” you finally told him. 
You heard his footsteps when he stood from the bed. He walked up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling your back against his chest. “Why would I call you that if I do not mean it?” he asked. Then he hummed and said “You know me better than that, my love” before dipping his head lower and nipping the shell of your ear with his teeth. 
So yes, he loved you—loves you. But there’s something in Paul’s voice as he asks you that question that gives you pause. It’s too gentle as if luring you into a false sense of security. The Harkonnens are not known for their capacity to love, and Feyd loving you could be seen as a weakness; his one vulnerable spot.
As monotone as you can manage, you reply, “If you’re being threatened you should just send me back and be done with it. I know you have more important things to worry about.”
Paul’s lips thin in disappointment. “I can’t send you back,” he says. “Not yet.”
“Why not?”
He sighs. “Because I believe he loves you. And I need to see how far a Harkonnen is willing to bend for an Atreides,” he says. “If he wants you back, he will have to be open to negotiations.”
You stand sharply, take a few steps from him, and blow out a heavy breath through your nose. You were told your brother changed after drinking that magic water and it shows. Holding you hostage for political gain is not the same as marrying you off. 
“I would like to be done with this conversation,” you say with a huff.
“I understand,” he replies, so you turn to enter your bedroom. But before you’re fully through the door, he says, “There’s more, though.”
You freeze. 
“I had a dream,” he says, his voice coming closer. “There was a boy, no more than five years old. He had your features and your hair but his skin was of the same paleness as the Harkonnens.”  
Sucking in a breath, you brace yourself with a hand gripping the door’s frame. 
“You’re pregnant, sister,” he tells you, leaning against the opposite side of the doorway. “But I'm very glad to know that the heir of Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen is a product of love rather than an unfortunate incident,” he says. “Additional incentive, should it be necessary.”    
In your shock, you can’t look at him. He doesn’t need you to. You can see his smirk in your peripherals, then he pushes off the frame and heads toward the main door of your room. 
“Try to get some rest, sister,” he calls over his shoulder. “You really shouldn't be on your feet too long.”
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scarlet-star-witch · 2 months
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The moon and his sun (Part VII - Final Part)
Aemond Targaryen x Female Reader
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Summary: People would remember their story. Even decades after they were gone, Septa’s would tell young children about the one-eyed dragon prince and his sweet wife as if they were a part of a fairytale, too good to be true for the harshness real life possessed.
Aemond meets a young girl who quickly becomes his most cherished friend and changes the course of history.
Word count: 13.2 K
Warnings: Angst as usual, Aegon testing my patience, smut, and fluff
Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5 Part 6 ... Epilogue
~~
She and Aemond had barely spoken since their fight, the strain between them growing with each passing day.
He was always quick to leave their chambers in the early morning, leaving her to break her fast by herself. 
She didn’t mind, she found she had trouble even meeting his eye without feeling as though her insides were crumbling into dust, reminding her of how easy it would be to lose him. 
It felt like dying a slow, agonizing death. 
The door to their chambers opened and she instinctively perked up at the thought of seeing her husband, despite the warring emotions within her, but she immediately froze, fear rising as Aegon strolled inside as if they were his own chambers. 
He smiled widely at the sight of her and was quick to take a seat beside her, entirely too close for her liking. 
“What are you doing?”
“Joining my sweet sister for breakfast.” Aegon smiled, the gesture anything but innocent as he helped himself to the spread of food in front of him. “Where is my brother?”
“He’ll be back soon.” She answered immediately, as if she could use Aemond’s presence to deter him from staying. But with the way he looked at her intently, it was obvious he didn’t believe her. 
He knew the rift between them kept Aemond out of his chambers for hours on end. 
With a lump in her throat that grew larger and heavier with each second that passed with Aegon beside her, she kept her eyes down, beginning to sparsely pick at her food. 
“You know I never thought much of you.” Aegon began, his gaze never wavering from her tense form that refused to relax in his presence. 
She flinched and jerked away as Aegon’s fingers brushed against her cheek, her breathing becoming heavy as she fought hard not to smack the most powerful man in the realm. 
He smirked at her as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, feeling victorious at the sight of her discomfort. 
“It wasn’t until I saw you bouncing on my brother’s cock…saw this body bare, saw the kind of whore you are, that it felt as though I was truly seeing you for the first time.” He crooned, his fingers tracing down the length of her jaw and down her neck. 
As his fingers trailed downwards, getting close to the dip of her breasts, she finally snapped, her hand shooting out, gripping onto his wrist tightly, desperate to stop him before he could touch her further, in places only her husband had ever touched her. 
“Careful, sister. The punishment for putting your hands on your King could cost you your hand.” Aegon warned, delighting in the fury that crossed her features. “Save that fire for my bed.” 
“I will slit my throat before you could ever take me to your bed.” She told him with a fire in her voice that only made his eyes light with intrigue and delight, knowing he was getting under her skin exactly the way he wanted. 
The door to their chambers opened, Aemond stepping inside wearily, though when he saw Aegon, how close he was sitting to his wife, his wrist encased in her grip, her face drawn tightly with hatred, did cold dread settle over him, washing away any ounce of hesitation he felt to face her and their fight.
“What are you doing here?” He barked at his brother, his face hard with a deadly scowl.
“Just getting to know my future wife.” 
Aemond grit his teeth. It took all of his willpower to not beat his brother into oblivion. 
“Get out.” He ordered sternly, though Aegon only laughed and leaned back in his seat.
“No.”
Aegon’s sharp response had Aemond flinching in surprise, his surprise overtaking his anger for a moment at the presence of his weak brother’s backbone. It seemed that the crown on his head had finally made him unmovable in the face of his younger’s brother’s rage that used to make him cower.
“I am your King, you don’t command me, brother.” 
Aemond, without caring for the consequences or the threat of Aegon’s guards that stood outside the door, stormed forward, grabbing his brother by the shirt and hauling him to his feet, desperate to wrench him away from his wife who watched on with fear. 
“If you have any hope of winning this war, it is because of me and my dragon. You are a drunken idiot that has no idea what it truly takes to rule and if you wish to keep breathing and sitting on that throne you will keep your mouth shut and stay far away from my wife.” Aemond spat darkly, jerking his wastrel of a brother in his harsh grip. 
“I am already a Kinslayer and I will take whatever judgment the Gods give me for sinning again.” Aemond threatened him, his hatred clear. 
Aegon looked back at him with nothing but disdain, hating the fact that he needed Aemond, needed Vhagar, to fight his cause. His harsh glare moved to the woman who remained sitting, watching the brothers with wide, nervous eyes. 
“I will see you soon, Sister.” Aegon drawled out the word as if it were an insult, sneering at her one last time before he shoved his brother off him and made his way out of their chambers, leaving the couple in a tense silence. 
Aemond breathed heavily and turned toward his wife, his eye softening immediately at the sight of her. 
“Did he hurt you?”
“No.” She spoke quietly. 
Aemond watched her carefully, noting that she had yet to meet his eye. He sighed and sat next to her. The news from the council the previous night that he had yet to tell her weighed on him heavily. 
She had been asleep by the time he returned to their chambers last night and he loathed to wake her, especially for news that would only upset her. 
“We are to go to battle tomorrow.” He finally blurted out. 
His words finally had her gaze rising to meet him, a startled fearfulness growing in her eyes. 
“I am taking Vhagar to Rook’s Rest.” 
She remained quiet as she took in his words, the growing fear inside of her quickly incapacitating her. A thousand thoughts ran through her head, most of them all the ways she could lose him.  
The longer she stayed quiet, the more tense he became. 
“I’ve talked to my mother.” He continued quickly, looking at her hopefully. “She has agreed to let go of the annulment. I’ve asked her to station more guards at the door. A group will be with you any day I’m not here. They will protect you while I’m gone and if I… if anything happens in battle… they will take you home.” 
Her eyes watched him calculatingly, as if she were staring at a stranger and not the man she loved. Her mind was a mess of thoughts, none of which she could really make sense of. 
Her silence rang out in the room loudly, agonizing Aemond. He looked at her intently, pleadingly. 
“Say something, please.” He whispered weakly. 
She let out a long sigh, her face impassive, not revealing any emotion. Even the sight of her husband’s sadness wasn’t enough to sway her. 
“What do you want me to say?”
“Anything.” He practically begged, her monotonous voice causing an ache to grow within him.
She grit her teeth, looking away from him. “Do you really believe it?”
“What?”
“That your mother is no longer a pawn in that ridiculous plan. That a few more measly guards will protect me from your family. That in the event of your death, I’ll be free to go home and not thrown in the black cells or shackled to Aegon’s bed.”
Aemond flinched at each of her words, looking pained at the reminder of the danger she was in, the danger his own family was placing on her head. 
“You are many things, Husband, but I have never known you to be naive.” 
“I am not naive-”
“You are if you believe I am safe here, especially in your absence.” She interrupted him sharply. “If you were to die in battle, that would be the end of me. No one would take me home, no one would let me live out the rest of my days as a mourning widow, they would have their boots on my neck the minute it was clear you would not be around to protect me.”
Only a stunted breath escaped him, as words were lost to him.
He looked at her pleadingly, but the guilt that lingered in his gaze did not go unnoticed by her and it only served to fuel her anger, knowing that he knew exactly the situation they were in, exactly the hard rock they were pushed up against by his own family.
“They won’t hurt you.” He began and held back a wince as she scoffed and shook her head. “They won’t. I have to believe it.”
“You have to?” She repeated, almost mockingly.
“Yes, because I cannot take another fucking breath if I don’t.” He replied loudly, his desperation, his slipping control clear as he looked at her, his eye wide and brimming with frustration. 
Her expression changed in an instant, the hard front she was portraying shattering the moment she saw how close her husband was to cracking. He had always tried to shield her from the worst parts of him, never wanting her to worry or fuss over him.
It wasn’t often he let her see him falter, but she could see now just how exhausted and broken he was over everything that had happened in the past month. 
She suddenly thought of all the times he had held her, picked her back up when her grief knocked her down, and she struggled to think of the times she was there for him, when he allowed her to be strong for him when he couldn’t.
He didn’t let himself show his weakness, hardly even to her, and it was slowly crushing him. 
“Do you truly have to go tomorrow?” She asked quietly, the fight gone from her voice. 
“I do.” 
There was a hesitation to him, as if he knew it wasn’t a good idea, but didn’t have another choice. He was burdened by the duty he was shackled to, beaten down by the sentiment that had been drilled in him since he was a child.
He felt this was all he could do, simply because his family told him so.
She hated they had such a hold on him, that they held such control over him.
“I will come back.” He told her, looking at her intently, as if he could will her to believe it. 
She just nodded, her throat growing tight with emotion at the thought of how tomorrow could go so wrong, at the thought of losing the one person she cherished with her entire being. The thought of losing him was already unfathomable, but the thought of losing him now, never being able to heal the rift between them was enough to break her. 
He stood, hesitating for a moment, knowing he had to meet with Ser Criston, but wary of leaving his wife, of furthering the divide between them. 
He looked to her longingly, as if he wanted to reach out to her, to kiss her, to lavish his affection on her as he used to, but just couldn’t find the courage to. 
He didn’t know if she even wanted him to, so he settled for a half-hearted nod and a mumble of goodbye before leaving her side once again, feeling as though the cracks in his heart were growing deeper and deeper with each passing day they were fractured.
She remained in his thoughts for the rest of the day, as she always did any moment he was not at her side.
He didn’t see her until that night at the feast Aegon was adamant on hosting. It was more of an excuse for Aegon to lavish in praises for his bravery for their planned battle on the morrow. 
Aemond could only roll his eyes at his brother’s brazen showmanship. 
They would run out of coin soon enough with all the celebrations he’d thrown in the short amount of time he sat on the throne. 
It seemed parties were the only thing Aegon could think to decree during his reign, despite the war that raged. It was a wonder a battle even got planned with his ambivalence for planning anything that didn’t include wine.
He looked to his wife sat by his side, her expression portraying she’d rather be anywhere else. She boredly looked among the dancing couples and reveling Lords who were drinking copiously, their laughter unable to stir a smile of her own. 
Aemond knew better than to ask if she wanted to dance. He knew she would refuse. 
He thought back to that night, the beginning of their divide and wanted to scream and cry all at once for the state of things, for this dreaded feeling of being so far from her in a way he had never experienced before. 
The thought of her not by his side was too terrifying to even imagine. The thought of her willingly separating from him broke his heart and he didn’t know how to react in any way but anger.
She had barely spoken to him since that night and it wasn’t as though he was any more forthcoming in swallowing his pride and apologizing for his anger that had struck her that fateful day.
Next to him, his mother sat, sending him a weak smile. Despite her assurance that she wouldn’t be forcing an annulment, he couldn’t deny that he had trouble believing her, no matter how hard he tried, no matter how agonizing it was to not believe it. So he did what he could to force himself to. 
But he knew he would worry every time he was not at his wife’s side that Aegon would swoop in and use his power to take her from him.
His brother was certainly not above despicable behavior. 
His wife was barely able to look at his family. A curt smile was all she was able to give as they arrived that evening. The only real emotion she had shown was towards Helaena, but even then it was only a weak smile that didn’t reach her eyes. 
Aemond was sure it did not go unnoticed how tense the table of royals looked. He could only imagine the gossip that was spreading about them. 
He felt as though he could breathe easier once his mother retired for the night, his view of her irrevocably changed since that meeting. 
He tapped his fingers against the table erratically, stealing another look at his wife. A servant placed a new cup of wine before her and Aemond waved his hand, refusing another cup for himself, it was only making his already churning stomach worse. 
“Are you enjoying the music?” He asked, internally wincing to himself for how awkward he sounded as he tried to engage his wife in conversation. 
“Not particularly.” She answered monotonously. 
Aemond’s lips parted, but no words were found. It felt like talking to a stranger than to the woman he had loved for years.
“Could you two cheer up?” Aegon chastised as he approached the table to fill up his cup. “You look like you’re attending a funeral.” 
Aegon’s attention on her seemed to be the last straw of her already waning patience. With a sigh, she pushed her chair out and stood.
“I’m tired, I’m going to retire for the night.” She explained and left without another word.
Aemond watched her go with a frown. The lack of affection wasn’t something he was used to, not from her at least and it was enough to leave him with a sick feeling in his stomach. 
“She’s become quite frigid.” Aegon noted, not bothering to look at his brother and catch the glare he would surely be sending his way. “Have you stopped fucking her? Is that why she’s become such a surly bitch?” 
Aemond grit his teeth, his hands twitching with the urge to knock his brother’s teeth out. It seemed the drunken idiot had already forgotten about his earlier threat on his life. 
“Well, if she’s not drinking it.” Aegon laughed, grabbing the goblet that sat before his wife’s empty seat, handing it over to some foot soldier from the Lannister army who eagerly swallowed it down in one gulp, the cheering crowd around him growing raucous. 
Aemond could barely contain his annoyance, his desire to leave overwhelming. His fingers tapped at the table incessantly, itching to follow his wife, to be as far from Aegon’s arrogance as he could. 
“Must you look so sullen, brother?” Aegon chastised him.
Meeting the glassy eyes of his drunken brother, Aemond was forced to use all the willpower he possessed to not throw a punch, removing the smug smile from his face. 
“Stop crying over your wife. There are plenty of other women here-”
“Don’t finish that sentence.” Aemond snapped at him darkly. 
Aegon scoffed, a multitude of insults on the tip of his tongue, but the sound of hacking coughs caught both of their attention. They looked to the Lannister soldier, his eyes wide, his face turning red as he gasped for air that wouldn’t come. He clutched at his neck, his body-shaking coughs bringing him to his knees.
The chattering of the crowd ceased, leaving terrified gasps and screams as men quickly surrounded the dying man, surveying for a threat.
Aemond stood from his seat, taking large steps forward, pushing others out of the way. He took in the scene before him with a growing dread. His gaze moved from the man twitching out a last painful breath, blood and bile spilling from his lips, to the empty cup on the ground. 
The cup that was meant for his wife. 
Something broke inside him at the realization. 
He rushed out of the room, elbowing his way past the crowd. He sprinted through the halls, a shrill ringing in his ears, his mind conjuring the horrible sights that he would find. 
What if he wasn’t fast enough this time?
He had already lost his child, he couldn’t lose her. 
The thoughts raced through his mind torturously as he ran, his fear growing with each step. His pulse thundered in his ears, his throat tight as he pictured the gruesome scene waiting for him.
He came to an abrupt stop, almost losing his footing, his chest heaving as he narrowed his gaze on the lone guard at their chamber doors. The man startled slightly at the sudden appearance of the disheveled prince and he bowed, greeting him dutifully. 
“Has anyone been inside?” 
“No, my Prince. Not since your wife.”
He stepped forward purposefully, the adrenaline in his veins and the fear that lingered, causing his hands to tremble. 
“Where’s the rest of you?”
“My Prince?” The guard questioned in confusion.
“Where are the other guards? There’s supposed to be more of you here keeping watch.” He seethed impatiently, the man before him blanching in intimidation.
“I-I’m sorry my Prince. It is only me. I have not heard of any others to be stationed with me.”
Aemond stared the man down angrily, his mind racing with thoughts he couldn’t quite make sense of. He pushed past the guard and rushed into his chambers, his shoulders sagging immediately, expelling a heavy exhale of relief as he spotted her. 
His wife lay in their bed, fast asleep and unharmed. 
He stepped towards her on weak legs, sitting on the edge of the bed, taking a moment to just look at her, to ease his wounded mind. He knew he wasn’t reaching, that what had happened just minutes ago, that man choking on his own blood, was no accident. 
Someone had tried to take her from him, again. 
He leaned down, placing a gentle kiss to her forehead, reveling in the sweet scent of the floral oil she had put in her hair that night. 
“I’ll make it right, I promise.” He whispered into the quiet room, needing to speak the promise aloud, even if she wasn’t awake to hear it. He needed to reassure himself that he could protect her, for he felt as though he had been failing. 
With one last lingering look at her, he stood and stepped out of the room, giving a quick warning to the guard to be on alert as he stomped down the hall. 
He made it to his mother’s chambers, barely acknowledging Ser Criston who stood vigil and stormed inside. 
His mother startled at his abrupt entrance and her face twisted, gearing up to scold him, but she soon noticed the fear in his eye, the lingering fury that made her stiffen.
“What’s happened?” She asked tersely, placing a hand over her racing heart, her stomach churning for what she was about to hear. 
“A man was murdered tonight.” He spoke monotonously. 
“What? Who?” Alicent asked breathlessly. 
“He drank from my wife’s cup. He drank the wine that was meant for her and barely a minute later he was dead.” 
Alicent’s throat went tight, her blood running cold within her veins. She straightened her posture, attempting to remain composed. 
“Rhaenyra and Daemon’s bloodlust knows no bounds.” 
“Where were the guards?” Aemond asked abruptly, glossing over his mother’s comment.
“What guards?” 
“In front of our chambers.” He clarified, his voice hard as stone. “I asked you to assign more, to ensure my wife would be protected. You said you would, but there was only one.”
Alicent’s heart raced wildly within her chest, the rapid rise and fall of her chest visible as she tried hard to settle her breathing. 
“I will have a talk with them. They should have been there.” She answered, the wavering of her voice clear, forcing her to swallow hard in an attempt to get rid of the lump that had grown and threatened to stop her from breathing.
Aemond watched his mother thoughtfully, the sinking feeling he had already been plagued with growing tenfold the longer he watched her, slowly becoming aware of her charade. 
His eyes moved to watch the flames dance in the fireplace, breathing out a long sigh as the thoughts in his head swirled like a hurricane. He wanted to refuse it, to not believe his mother would ever have anything to do with something so sinister, but her entire being portrayed guilt. He knew his family's ambitions made for crass and even sometimes despicable actions, he knew the way of war, he just never expected to fall victim to it at the hands of the ones who should have loved him dearly. 
“I was excited to be a father.” He started quietly, the tension in his body the only sign of the storm silently raging within him. “I knew I would have done anything for my child. They could’ve asked me for the stars and I would have flown on Vhagar in the night and taken every one of them from the sky.” 
The mention of the babe he had lost had Alicent’s chest tightening, her eyes beginning to sting with tears that threatened to give away the turmoil plaguing her. 
“I don’t even have a babe to hold and I know I would have done whatever I could to make them happy.” His voice became stunted, anger tinging the heartbreaking words that kept his emotions on a short tether, the reminder of what he lost, what had been ripped so brutally from him and his beloved. 
His lone eye raised from the fire and landed on his mother who seemed to squirm under his intense gaze. 
“You… you weren’t even trying to keep me from my happiness, you’re trying to rip it right out of my hands.”
Alicent’s breath caught in her throat, her stomach sinking with dread. 
“I don’t know what-”
“You know exactly what I’m speaking of.” He interrupted her angrily, his hands clenched into fists as it took all of his restraint to not lunge at her, having to constantly remind himself that the woman in front of him was his mother.
“Think about what you are accusing me of, it’s absolutely ridiculous.” Alicent screeched, her emotions fraying as she desperately tried to pull her son back to her. 
“You never wanted me to marry her. You wanted to deny me her, you wanted to tear her from me even when you knew she was the only one that truly made me happy.”
Alicent rolled her eyes, her fear quickly shifting into indignation. That Island girl has sunk her claws so deep in her son, she scarcely recognized him anymore. 
“The only one?” She questioned, almost sarcastically. “After everything I’ve done and you still don’t see that it was all for you, for our family.” 
Aemond let out a bitter sounding laugh, a sound that would have sent chills down the spine of a lesser man. 
“Tell me, Mother, when exactly were you thinking about my happiness? When you tried to force an annulment from the woman I love or when you tried to murder her?” 
Alicent’s voice caught in her throat. Each word was like a slap to the face. The guilt churned in her stomach so violently she thought she was going to be sick. 
“I know grandsire’s ambitions would have retribution, but I never thought you would bend to them at the expense of your children.”
Alicent sunk back in her chair, the fight swept from her as she realized Aemond was not going to budge an inch. She picked at the skin by her nails anxiously, her teeth biting her bottom lip incessantly as her heart raced. 
“We needed to help Aegon’s cause.”
The whispered words were all the confession he needed to hear. 
Aemond fumed silently, his jaw clenching so tightly it was a wonder he didn’t crack any of his teeth. His first thought was that he couldn’t believe his own mother would do this to him, to break him into disrepair by taking his wife from him, but as he remembered the forced annulment, he soon realized he didn’t really know his mother at all. 
“We know what Rhaenyra would do to us once she sat on the throne. I had to protect you, I did what I could so our family would survive.”
Aemond scoffed bitterly. He too once thought his life would be forfeit once his half-sister rose to power, but the longer he thought of it over the years, the more he spoke of those fears with his wife, the more he realized how unfounded they had been. 
“You really think my father-by-law would allow that to happen? Ixtal is King’s Landing’s greatest importer, you think Rhaenyra would risk the entirety of the realm, her position as ruler, just to do away with siblings she could not spare a second thought for?” 
“You don’t know that!” Alicent yelled, becoming desperate as she felt as though her son was slipping through her fingers.
Aemond sighed and stood from his chair, heading towards the door, but Alicent’s sobs stopped him as she begged him not to go.
“Aemond, you have to understand.” She cried. “I had to do what I could to keep you safe. You will see that one day, you will see that I only did what I thought was right for our family.”
To hear her speak of the life of his wife, his greatest love, as nothing more than collateral made him feel sick, his disdain growing even further. 
“I hope you will see one day that your ambition is what ruined this family.” 
With those final words, he left, leaving his mother to sob in solitude. He numbly walked back to his chambers, the look in his mother’s eyes haunting his mind. 
It wasn’t until he was behind the closed door of his chamber, standing in the dark room that he allowed himself to release a shuddering breath, his throat tightening as it all caught up to him. 
His mother’s betrayal was like a dagger to the stomach, letting the wound bleed until there was nothing left of him. 
His gaze fell on his sleeping wife and the dam broke. Tears fell from his eyes as he realized how close he had been to losing her and by the hands of his own family. It was enough to undo him completely. 
He knelt at her bedside, unable to stop the tears that fell. His lip trembled, shaking breaths escaping him as he clutched to her hand. 
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He whispered weakly. 
She stirred and blinked her weary eyes open, frowning immediately as she noticed the tears her husband was shedding.
“Aemond? What happened?” She asked tiredly, propping herself up on her elbow as she intertwined their fingers. 
“I didn’t protect you.” He whispered, his voice tight with tearful emotion.
“What are you talking about?”
“The second this war started, I should’ve done something. I knew you weren’t safe here, I knew you weren’t safe with them and I didn’t do anything. I’m so sorry, issa prūmia, please forgive me.” 
“Aemond…” She was stunned, watching as her husband, the stoic man she knew, broke into pieces before her. 
She laid her hand over his that held her other tightly, caressing gentle touches over his hardened knuckles. 
“Darling, there’s nothing to forgive.” She assured him, but the look on his face remained tortured. 
He sniffled and wiped his tears forcefully, tearing his hand from hers and he got to his feet, making his way across their chambers to her wardrobe. 
“I’m getting you out of here.” He spoke, his voice now full of determination.
“What?”
“It’s not safe for you here. You’re going back to Ixtal.”
Her heart jumped in her chest, it was everything she had wanted since this war started, but she couldn’t ignore the lingering dread that settled within her like lead, realizing what it would mean for them. The thought of separating from him was unbearable. 
“I’m not leaving without you.” She spoke forcefully, standing from the bed, her eyes hardened as she stared back at her husband. 
She knew it was a big ask to leave his family and his home for her, but circumstances were different now. She had already lost so much, she wasn’t going to lose him too, she certainly wasn’t going to let his family take advantage of her absence and shackle him to another woman. 
Aemond swallowed thickly and stepped towards her, his hands cradling her face gently as he revered her with nothing but adoration, his decision made in a split second.
“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere but by your side.” 
Her face softened, emotions swelling, tightening her throat. 
“What happened?” She asked quietly. His change of heart was unexpected and the state of him she had woken to was more than concerning. It wasn’t often he let himself feel his emotions, except anger of course, and it was upsetting to say the least.
Aemond seemed to shudder at her question, his eyes holding a faraway look that seemed tortured. 
“Not yet.” He said, his voice barely audible. He would tell her everything once they were safe, once they were far from King’s Landing and his scheming family. “Pack your things, we need to be quick and leave before the light.” 
She nodded and rushed to her wardrobe, hauling out as many dresses as she could carry and tossed them on the bed. A sudden realization came to her, igniting her worries once more.
“Wait, Aemond.” She spoke up frantically. “Helaena and the children. We can’t leave without them, they’re not safe here.”
Aemond’s entire being softened. Helaena and her children were the only ones, outside of her, that he cared about above anyone else and her care for them, her willingness to accept them as her own warmed his heart, only confirming to him that he was making the right decision.
His mother’s betrayal stung, it festered in him like a disease that threatened to spread and ruin him, but he pushed it down. He would feel the heartbreak when they were safe in Ixtal.
It didn’t take long for them to pack their meager belongings. They didn’t need to take much, there wasn’t much of anything with sentimental value he would miss. He just needed his wife at his side. 
They traveled through the hidden halls, quickly coming to the entrance of Helaena’s room. Aemond pushed the entrance open slowly, wincing at the noise, hoping he wasn’t about to scare his sweet sister.
He was soon shocked, flinching back as he met the awaiting eyes of his sister, her children cradled to her sides, bags at their feet.
“Is it time?” 
“What- Helaena…”
“We are leaving, are we not?” 
“Well… yes, but-”
“Let’s go. We shouldn’t waste any more time.” She smiled warmly, placing her hand on her brother’s cheek briefly before moving towards her friend, wrapping her up in a tight hug, her gratitude overflowing from her. “I knew you would be our saving grace.”
The whispered words of the Princess left her shocked. She had to shake herself of her surprise and hauled Jaehaerys into her arms. With Helaena carrying Jaehaera, their bags secured with Aemond leading them, they were on their way. His hand fluttered towards the sword at his hip every so often, senses sharp and at the ready for anything and anyone that dared to stop them.
It didn’t take long to get to the Dragon Pit.
“I’ll meet you outside with Vhagar.” Aemond assured her and with one last squeeze of her hand, he was gone. 
Her heart was in her throat, her palms sweating with nerves as she helped strap the children’s bags to Dreamfyre’s saddle. Once Helaena was seated on her dragon, she helped Jaehaera up and strapped her in. 
“It’s alright, my Darlings.” Helaena cooed to her children who were quiet and sullen with fright. “We’re going to a beautiful place where we’ll be safe.” 
“Is father coming too?” Jaehaera asked quietly and Helaena shook her head, almost seemingly delighted to share the news of the absence of their father. But the child just nodded and whispered ‘good’. 
She repressed a shudder. She didn’t want to think of the neglect Aegon had forced on his children. She swept Jaehaerys up into her arms once again, her heart aching as he nuzzled into her, burying his face in the crook of her neck. 
“You like to swim, don’t you, Jae?”
He nodded against her and she smiled, brushing her fingers through his hair soothingly.
“I know where to find the most beautiful beaches. You’ll get to swim in the bluest water you’ve ever seen where the fish swim between your toes and jump out of the water to greet you.”
“Will you show me?” 
She smiled and nodded. “I’ll take you there myself.” 
With the assurance, he loosened his grip on her, more at ease. A distant roar caught their attention, the familiar sound of Vhagar. With one last look to Helaena, silently assuring her that she would keep her son safe, she slipped out of the Dragon Pit, hurrying her way up the hill where Vhagar rested. 
Her hope spiked, her fear receding slightly as she spotted Aemond atop his dragon. Their escape was imminent. No one would stop them now, not when they had Vhagar to face. 
She helped Jaehaerys climb up into the waiting arms of his uncle who strapped him in carefully. She climbed, her movements familiar use, not something she’d ever thought she would say in relation to dragon riding, but Aemond had been insistent over the years of his two favorite girls bonding. 
She used to roll her eyes at him, but now she couldn’t have been more thankful. 
As she settled herself, her heart sped, uncertainty suddenly overtaking her adrenaline, the gravity of their actions soon crashing into her overwhelmingly. She placed her hand over Aemond's, stopping him before he could grasp the reins. 
“Aemond,” She spoke, her voice tight as her mind raced. “You have to be sure, entirely sure, that this is what you want.” 
He sighed, as if disappointed by her hesitation, believing he would ever second guess the decision to run away with her, to keep her safe. 
“I’ve never been more sure of anything.” He assured her, tilting her chin with his finger so she was looking at him head on. “I promised you, didn’t I? We’re going to Ixtal where we’ll grow old and raise our children.” 
His words, which were once said in the comfort of their sheets, their love nothing more than a secret from the rest of the realm, soothed every ounce of insecurity that had crept through her veins. 
She breathed out in relief and leaned forward, kissing him swiftly. 
Dreamfyre’s roar broke them apart and they watched as Helaena took flight with her daughter. 
“Are you ready, Jae?” 
The child nodded eagerly to his uncle and leaned back into his aunt’s arms, holding tightly to her as the mighty dragon below them rumbled and stretched her wings, taking to the skies with ease. 
The moonlight was their only guide in the dead of night. It wasn’t until they settled high in the sky, covered by the clouds, easy on their course, did she finally let herself relax. She leaned back into the strong chest behind her, her husband’s hand leaving the reins to wrap around her, securing herself to his front, his forehead rested against hers, a look of nothing but pure contentment on his face, a far cry from the scowl that had been securely etched onto his features for months. 
She knew his decision to leave could not have been easy and she was terrified to hear what had happened, what the final straw was to get him to agree to leave the place he called home, to leave his mother behind.
She leaned into him, as if needing his comfort from the mere thought of what transpired to make him turn his back on the woman that raised him.
Aemond held her tightly, breathing in the scent of her, his eye falling closed in fulfillment at the feel of her skin under his fingertips. Even the brush of her hair against his face in the wind was the greatest thing he could have ever felt. 
She was all he needed. 
A weight was lifted from his chest, allowing him to breathe easier the farther they flew from King’s Landing. His family’s schemes, his mother’s betrayal, Aegon’s threats, they all seemed to melt away as the distance grew between them. 
The sun was just beginning to rise as they spotted the shores of Ixtal. 
Warmth bloomed within her at the sight of her home, knowing she was only minutes from reuniting with her family. 
She felt jittery, anxious excitement taking over every inch of her as they landed on the shores. A slew of guards were already waiting for them on the shores, the dragons having been spotted in the distance and causing mayhem in fear of a potential attack. 
Among the pointed spears and swords, she spotted her father’s face. She breathed shakily, eagerly undoing the straps around her waist, charging down from Vhagar’s back despite Aemond’s protests. 
She didn’t care for safety, she didn’t care for decorum. She charged towards the group of guards who soon lowered their weapons at their leader’s cries for a cease. Her father pushed the guards out of his way, coming to the front of the blockade, the sight of her causing tears to brim in his eyes. 
Barely a second later, she was in his arms, the force of her embrace almost knocking him off his feet. 
“You’re here.” He breathed out, holding tightly to his beloved daughter with a force that could only be portrayed by that of a father with a heavy heart. “How are you here? I haven’t heard from you in weeks, we thought-”
His words stopped as he noticed Aemond’s presence over her shoulder. His brows furrowed at the sight of the young child in his arms, his confusion only furthered as Princess Helaena stepped forward, another child in her arms. 
“You brought an entourage?”
Her face turned serious, worrying him immediately.
“Father, we… we’re seeking refuge from King’s Landing. It’s no longer safe for us there.”
He looked at his daughter incredulously, sensing there would be a long story to come. He nodded stiffly, having trouble tearing his eyes away from his daughter, his little girl he had been fraught with worry over the past moons.
A yell of her name sounded, catching their attention. Her face smoothed out, her worry disappearing as a bright smile grew. 
“Mother!” She called out, racing past her father and the litany of guards still standing at attention to seek out her mother who had raced out of the palace at the sight of the dragons, her arms open and ready for her daughter. 
Aemond watched, an ease settling over him as he saw her smile again, that bright, wondrous sight that could only assure him he had done the right thing. 
The Lord of Ixtal stepped forward, sending a polite smile to Helaena and eyeing the children with a soft gaze.
“Come, you must be exhausted from your journey.” He motioned them forward, allowing Helaena to lead, hand in hand with her twins, the two men settling in a matching pace side by side. “I knew you were the right man for the job.”
Aemond looked at the man beside him questioningly. 
“I knew you would keep my daughter safe. I never had any doubt.”
The young prince seemed to deflate under the praise. The guilt that had been festering within him unfurled, overtaking him so powerfully, he stopped walking.
“I didn’t- there was… it was too close-”
“Aemond,” His father-by-law placed his hand on his shoulder, squeezing comfortingly. “You’re here. You brought her home, safe and sound.”
“But I couldn't-”
“You are one man. You cannot fight the entire world of enemies alone, especially not when they are your own family.”
Aemond’s eye widened, looking perplexed by his words. The Lord just smiled sadly and shook his head.
“I had my suspicions from the start. I knew they didn’t want you to marry her, I knew their ambitions would become too great.”
Aemond just nodded stiffly, the words getting caught in his throat, not yet able to voice just what his family, his own mother, had done. 
“You’re a good man, Aemond. I hope you’ll be happy here.” 
“I will be.” He spoke, his voice laced with conviction, as if there were no doubts in his mind about his life now that he was standing on the sandy beaches of Ixtal, his future no longer out of his own control.
They stepped into the palace, his eyes finding her immediately. Her mother left her daughter’s side, coming towards him, a tearful smile gracing her features. 
Before he could say a word, she wrapped him in a tight hug. 
“Thank you.” She whispered to him, the words and the affectionate gesture plucking at his weakest points. The affection of a mother, a caring and kind soul, reminding him of what he had just lost, what he had purposefully stepped away from.
But it had never been like this. Alicent had never held him this tight, he had never felt love from his mother in a single touch, not like he was now from a woman he had met only a handful of times before. 
“You three look like you have hiked through the seven hells and back. Why don’t you rest for a while longer, we can talk later.” Her mother suggested. 
Helaena was guided to her new chambers for her and the children, her smile wide, no trace of derision from her escape. She seemed all too happy to be back to the place she had fallen in love with in that first visit years ago.
Aemond let his wife lead him to her old childhood chambers. 
He stepped in, taking in a deep breath, letting the events of the night roll off his back. He looked at the dried flowers and childhood drawings that lined the walls, some hers, some her siblings that had been gifted to her years ago that she couldn’t bear to part with. 
Her sentimental heart never failed to warm his own. 
As he set their bags down, his gaze fell to the view of the horizon from the balcony, picturing the chaos that would be ensuing across the sea in King’s Landing as their absence was discovered. 
He thought of his mother and the state she would be in once she realized both he and Helaena were gone, her grandchildren safe from their clutches. 
He let out a shaking breath and barely a second later, arms were winding around his waist. He hummed a grateful sounding noise, placing a hand over her clasped ones at his front.
“What are you thinking about?”
“They’ll send search parties.” He mused, his mind beginning to conjure the many ways his brother and grandsire could ruin the peace they tried to find for themselves.
“My father will handle it.” She assured him. “Besides, no one would dare try to force Vhagar away from here.” 
He smiled, his eyes falling to his mighty dragon that was basking in the sun, her wings fluttering in the waves that crashed onto the shore, her rumbles of contentment echoing up to their room. He looked over his shoulder at his wife, the warm feeling in chest growing at the sight of her, the ease she now carried around her.
“Thank you.”
Her eyes softened, a small smile growing. “I think I should be saying that to you.”
He had a million things he wanted to say but no idea how to say them. So he settled for kissing her softly, hoping it conveyed every ounce of love and adoration he held for her, the thanks he wanted to bestow upon her for saving his life, for saving his sister and her children. 
He pulled away regretfully, letting his forehead rest against hers as he thought over how close he had come to losing her just hours ago, causing tears to brim in his eye.
“I’m sorry.” He choked out, emotion welling his throat yet again. 
Her brows furrowed, not used to seeing him break as he was now, as he did just hours ago. 
“I haven’t been a good husband.” 
“Aemond-”
“I haven’t.” He spoke again, interrupting her attempt to soothe him. “I didn’t listen, I thought I could fight against everything alone. I pushed you away and I hurt you.” 
She watched him carefully, noting the guilt that seemed to seep out of every inch of him. 
“I’ll spend the rest of my life making up for it all, I swear.” He whispered frantically, as if he was desperate for her to believe him, as if she had any doubt. 
“What happened?” She questioned again, looking at him worriedly, but he shook his head, pushing the thought of this mother, of that man choking on his own blood, from his mind. 
“Not yet.” He whispered again, not yet ready to reveal to her the threat on her life, not wanting to break the peace they’d finally found after months of such heart-breaking tension. 
She was in his arms, they were safe, his sister and her children were safe. That was all that mattered. 
He kissed her again, this time firmer, more sure of himself. After tumultuous weeks of grieving and then spite between them, they hadn’t been close like this in ages. It had been too long since he had made love to his sweet wife. 
She melted into him, the feel of his hands on her, his lips against hers so desperately, was enough to heal the wounds in her heart the war had caused. 
“You are so beautiful.” He whispered as he planted kisses down the slope of her neck. “You are so wonderful, so kind. You have the most perfect, golden heart.” 
He lavished praise as his hands untied the laces of her gown, his lips finding their place over her racing heart, the heart that had given him so much love, enough to heal a boy doomed from the start. 
They moved slowly, treasuring each gentle caress and loving kiss as they stripped themselves bare. The waking nightmares they had been faced with in King’s Landing melted into nothing but old memories in the wake of their embrace. 
For so long, after the attack and losing their child, she had felt so disconnected to her own body. Now, as Aemond kissed every inch of her, as his hands roamed the familiar curves of her body, she felt she was finally herself again. 
She had spent too long watching her husband succumb to who his family wanted him to be. It made her determined to remind him why she loved him, how much she cherished him. 
Her hand slithered down the strong planes of his chest, his breath hitching as it traveled lower and lower until she gently grasped his stiff length in her hand that twitched with desire under her touch. 
Breaths left him in desperate pants as she stroked him, her touch familiar yet so missed. He repressed a shiver as she quickened her pace, her eyes watching him intently, the sight of his pleasure a welcome reprieve to how tightly wound she’d seen him for months. 
He moaned and quickly grabbed her hand, stopping her motions. He would not spill too early, before he even had the chance to bring her pleasure. 
She squealed in surprise, her laugh ringing out in the room as he picked her up and eagerly carried her to the bed. Her delighted giggles continued as she fell back on the soft mattress below her, biting her lip and practically writhing at the heated look from the man above her. 
She reached up, taking his eye patch off and tossing it to the side, needing to see all of him.
Aemond wasted no time, he couldn’t go another second without her. He spread her legs and kneeled before her, his mouth devouring her with a fervor of a man starved, moaning at the delectable taste of her.
She cried out, her hand falling to his head, tangling her fingers in his hair, pulling with each deliberately devastating stroke of his tongue. 
Her body was powerless against him, a litany of praise falling past her lips without her knowledge, mindlessly calling out to him, divulging every ounce of her love for him, both cursing and acclaiming his tongue and his ability to render her completely mindless. 
He growled against her, the sound of his name spoken so breathlessly, so desperately, quickly becoming his undoing. He quickened his pace, his need to push her over the edge growing as his own desires did.
She almost screamed, her back arching as he added his fingers, curling them in just the way he knew would drive her crazy. 
Her hands twisted into the sheets below her, her legs beginning to quiver from their place over his shoulders as he worked her to the cusp of ecstasy. 
“Aemond!” She cried out as his wicked tongue and fingers brought her to a blinding peak. 
She panted heavily, her limbs still trembling from the force of her release, barely able to comprehend the heated kiss Aemond pressed to her lips, the taste of her on his tongue making her moan. 
The soft sound turned into another high pitched cry as he entered her slowly, a shuddering breath falling past his own lips as they joined for the first time in months. He stilled, needing a moment before he lost his composure completely. 
He gazed at her below him, his lone eye shining, the love he felt for her in that moment suddenly overwhelming. He ducked his head into the crook of her neck, squeezing his eye shut as her hand caressed through his hair, her soft lips brushing against his temple. 
“It’s alright.” She whispered. “I’m here. I won’t ever be parted from your side.” 
Her words, as if she knew exactly what had happened just hours ago, the attempt on her life on the orders of his own family, were the salve to the torment running through his head since he learned of the threat against her. 
He raised his head, kissing her firmly, his tongue tangling with hers, desperate for her touch, her taste, every inch of her. 
“No one will ever take you from me.” He spoke softly, though the air of determination surrounding his words did not go unnoticed, whether to reassure her or himself he wasn’t sure. 
His hips began to move rhythmically, thrusting in and out of her gently, as if it were their first time again. 
She sighed, her eyes fluttering closed. Her hands gripped onto his back, feeling his muscle ripple under his skin as he moved. 
She wrapped her legs around his waist, holding him tightly as he made love to her as if he were afraid to break her, afraid to cause her any more harm than what she had endured since the war started. 
“Aemond,” She breathed out, leaning upwards, her nose brushing against his as she brushed her lips against his. “I’m ok. You can go faster, I can take it.” 
His face twisted, memories of the night of the attack, of her screams and cries of agony, of how close she had been last night to succumbing to the war. The thoughts were torturous. 
“I can’t-” He choked out, his jaw clenching, his brows furrowed as if he were in pain himself. “I can’t hurt you.”
“You won’t. I know you would never.” She assured him, her hands cradling his face as she looked at him intently, pure trust and love echoing through her eyes. 
He exhaled loudly, allowing his pace to quicken slightly, the moan she let out like music to his ears, soothing every ounce of his worry. 
“I trust you.” She whispered and his resolve shattered completely in an instant. 
He whimpered and began to thrust into her harder, his movements becoming more assured, his hunger for her reaching its peak, his hips now crashing against hers purposefully, moans falling freely from his lips as she cried out at every hard thrust, his cock hitting that place inside her that made her writhe against him.
Her noises were beautiful, they sent shivers down his spine, made his head spin in that delightful way only she could give him. He never liked to feel as though he wasn’t in control, but with her he welcomed the feeling. 
She was the only one he felt safe around to let himself feel it. 
He gripped onto her thigh, hiking it higher on his hip, allowing him to reach deeper inside her, her name like a desperate prayer on his lips as he felt himself nearing his end. It had been too long and he was no match for her perfect body. 
He brought his hand down, his thumb brushing against her clit, desperate to bring her with him. It didn’t take long until she trembled against him, her nails digging into his back, her head thrown back against the sheets as she cried out loudly. 
The feeling of her tightening around him and the sight of her lost in pleasure beneath him undid him effortlessly. He gasped, his movements becoming more frantic in his end, frantic groans following with each of his movements. It hit him like a wave, crashing over him all at once. He cried out, a sound more desperate than she had ever heard from him, his body stiffening before falling lax as he came hard. 
His eye fell shut as the haze of pleasure overtook him. He breathed harshly, letting the aftershocks of bliss roll through his shaking limbs. Her hands brushing his hair out of his face brought him back into the present.  
His eye fluttered open, meeting the eyes of the woman below him, her easy, pleasure filled smile bringing one of his own.
He leaned down, kissing her softly. Silently vowing to himself that he would never let anything threaten her life again, not as long as he lived, that he would never bring her pain ever again. 
He held her tightly, breathing out a long, drawn out breath, expelling every bit of the bitter anger and betrayal that clung to him. 
As he lay beside her, his softening length still buried inside her, the blissful touch of her hand running through his hair, he listened to the waves outside the open balcony doors, the calls of seabirds reminding him of where he was, where he would spend the rest of his days with her by his side.
It brought him more peace than he ever could have imagined. 
~~
With Aemond’s absence, and subsequently Vhagar’s absence from the frontlines, the Greens quickly succumbed to the Blacks. 
She held tightly to Aemond’s hand as her father read outloud the letter sent from Rhaenyra who now sat the throne. He gave no reaction as he heard of Otto’s execution, of Aegon’s demise in the black cells. He barely twitched as he heard his mother was to be sequestered in the Red Keep, forced to live out the rest of her life in solitude. 
The only emotion he showed was the breath he let out when he heard Daeron was to remain in Oldtown, with strict orders never to return to King’s Landing. He was thankful his younger brother never played a role in the war, that his life was spared from a gruesome fate. 
Helaena looked forlorn, her eyes cast down to her hands that fidgeted in her lap. She left for a reason, she had escaped with her children, an act she would never regret, but it didn’t lessen the unease in her heart.
She always knew this was how it would end. 
The knowledge that Aegon would never touch her again was a shining ray of light in the storm of dark clouds that was the news of the demise of her family. 
They were dismissed quickly, her mother throwing her a wary look as Aemond practically sprinted from the room as if it were deprived of air he desperately needed. 
She walked at a slow pace, knowing he’d need a few minutes to himself to take in the news. Making her way through the gardens, she knew exactly where he’d be, where he often found himself in moments of deep thoughts and contemplation. 
She knew he didn’t regret leaving, but some days the decision was harder to swallow than others. 
Within a few minutes, she found him sitting on the bench in front of the billowing willow tree, the place they had first spoken, the place he had complimented her drawings, the place where she had made him laugh as if they were old friends rather than new acquaintances. 
He didn’t look up as she approached. 
The only indication he gave to her presence was the long breath he let out as she took a seat next to him. 
“I’m fine.” He spoke impatiently, as if to assure her so he could be left to his torturous solitude.
“You know I don’t believe that.” She admonished softly, making no move to leave. 
His foot tapped erratically against the stone below him, his teeth biting his bottom lip, his shoulders hunched, the very picture of discontent. Frowning, she placed her hand on his arm, sliding down the length of his tense muscles until she found his hand, intertwining their fingers.
“I can’t even begin to imagine what you’re feeling.”
“I can’t quite make sense of it myself.” He admitted quietly.
“I know you’re not happy Rhaenyra is on the throne-”
“I don’t care about that.” He spoke abruptly, his tone becoming sharp. “Our lives would have been much easier if that damned chair didn’t exist.”
She knew since coming to Ixtal, after the month of peace they’d had without his family breathing down his neck, forcing his every move, he could breathe easier. But it was still his family, his own brother and grandsire who had perished in the war. 
“Aemond,” She began softly. “Talk to me, please.”
“I know what my brother was. I won’t pretend to mourn him.” 
“You do not have to.” 
His eyes held a vacant look, as he retreated into the mess of thoughts in his head. He knew what his grandsire had done, the game he had played long before he had even been born. He knew the retribution Otto faced was well deserved. 
It didn’t cause him much grief. 
It was the thought of his mother that left his insides twisting in a way he hadn’t anticipated. 
“It doesn’t seem like enough.” He whispered, his words almost lost to the wind. 
“What doesn’t?”
“She tried to take you from me yet she lives.” 
Her breath caught in her throat. She had never had a close bond with Aemond’s mother but after she had been told what had happened that fateful night they left, what caused her husband’s tears, her view of Alicent had been forever changed. 
Aemond held tightly to her hand, as if saying the words aloud were too much to handle. 
He let out a shaking breath, pinching the bridge of his nose, he could feel a headache coming on, one that was all too familiar when it came to the derision his family caused him. 
“It does not seem a fitting punishment yet I’m… relieved. I don’t think I truly want her dead.”
Aemond didn’t know what to make of what he felt for his mother. He was angered she still drew breath yet relieved she hadn’t been killed brutally by Rhaenyra, yet he still couldn’t stomach the thought of her, not after what she’d done. 
“Of course you don’t. No matter what she’s done, she’s still your mother.” 
He thinks to himself that he doesn’t deserve her, this wonderful woman in front of him, the only one to truly see him. 
When he lies with his wife, when he sees her beautiful smile, when he feels her touch on his skin, he thinks he’d be content if his mother never saw the light of day again, yet deep down, the guilt festers. 
He was the reason their side lost. His departure was the sole reason Aegon and Otto are dead, the reason his mother is confined for the rest of her days. 
He can’t find himself regretting his actions, knowing the outcomes, yet he can’t help but feel as though he had failed his family. 
The sense of duty they had instilled in him was screaming, raging at him for what he had done. But he wasn’t that man they raised him to be. 
He was the man who fell in love with his best friend. He was the man who finally felt love as a child from a girl who tried endlessly to get him to see the beauty in himself and the world around him. 
The part of him that felt guilty for his mother was soon crushed out by the love he held for his wife. When he looked at her, he realized no one had ever truly cared for him but her. No one had ever had his best interest at heart except her. 
He squeezed her hand in his, finally letting his gaze reach hers, the concern in her eyes melting a part of him that desperately needed to be melted. 
“I don’t regret a single moment with you.” He tells her, the look in his eye now soft, no longer shrouded in agony and confusion. 
She smiles softly, still worried for him, worried for what the news would cause him. 
“Aemond-”
“I just want to think about our future.” He interrupted, knowing exactly what fears lay on her tongue, fearing much of the same for himself. 
But he would cross that bridge when he came to it. He would feel the moments of guilt, of relief, of whatever other emotion his family would cause him, as they came. 
He didn’t fear what he would feel because he knew the woman he loved would be there to soothe him in every one of those dark moments. His family, though they may try, couldn’t hurt him anymore.
“I want to raise our children here, where they won’t know any pressures of the court or successions, of war or conflict.” 
“Are you sure you don’t-”
“Protecting you was and will always be my number one priority.” He assured her before she could even voice her question about his regret. 
Her smile was much more genuine, his words soothing the anxiety she felt at his reaction. He felt himself smile at the sight before him, eased merely by her presence.
He leaned in, kissing her softly, letting his forehead rest against hers.
“You were always my purpose.” 
His whispered words were assurances they both clung to in the face of uncertainty. 
Tension would always exist as long as their enemy sat on the throne, but they were content, miles away, across the sea where their love flourished, where they would start their family.
No one would take that away from them.
~~
A year had passed peacefully. No further word from King’s Landing came. Helaena and her children thrived in the beauty that was Ixtal. The eccentric Princess made many friends with the ladies in court, finally feeling as though she could be herself without judgment, without fearing retribution or gossip. She no longer felt the pressure to be the perfect image of a Targaryen Princess. 
Aemond had quickly found his place alongside her younger brother in leading the city watch. He melded into his new life with an ease she hadn’t expected. 
Her own father accepted Aemond into their council, his voice soon becoming a valuable and respected asset to the island and its governance with most of the realm. 
Their new life was everything they wanted. 
Until the day their past caught up to them. 
“My Lady?” She looked up to notice her guard approaching, a nervous expression painting his features. “A dragon has been spotted approaching our shores. Shall I request your husband?”
Her face was drawn tightly and she shook her head brusquely. She knew exactly who would be accosting them.
“No, I will handle it.” 
She walked determinedly to the throne room, her guard following behind her worriedly.
“Where is my father?”
“In a council meeting.”
“And my husband is with him?”
“Yes, my Lady.” 
“Good.” She breathed out. She didn’t need either of them catching wind of their guest’s arrival and causing a stir. “You are dismissed.” She spoke to her guard whose eyes widened at the command, his mouth opening to refuse, but she gave him a pointed look.
“I can handle this, Ser Jerrod.” 
The guard sighed defeatedly and gave her a look of resignation.
“I am telling your husband of your orders when he comes to punish me.” 
Aemond had developed quite the reputation of being protective of his wife, the guards were terrified to obey her orders when they knew they would face the ire of her dragon husband. 
“I will take the blame, I promise you.” She assured him with a smirk. 
As her guard left, leaving her alone in the throne room, she let out a long breath, her heart racing as she prepared herself for what she would soon face. 
Only minutes later, the great doors opened and Queen Rhaenyra entered, her face hardened, bitter anger in her eyes. 
Her steps faltered, her powerful pace slowing as she met the eyes of the person she had least expected. 
Rhaenyra spoke her name slowly, her entire demeanor changed, abruptly thrown off from her course of murderous rage that darkened her thoughts, that prompted her abrupt arrival. 
She breathed deeply, straightening her posture as she steeled her expression, putting on the mask of anger back into place.
“I’m sure you know why I am here.”
“I do.” She answered Rhaenyra cooly, her posture relaxed, an exact contrast from the woman before her who looked as though she was unraveling. 
The dark circles under her eyes did not go unnoticed. 
“I need to see Aemond.”
“That’s not going to happen, Rhaenyra, you know that.”
“He needs to pay for what he did.” The woman spoke through gritted teeth, angry tears filling her eyes. 
She stared at the woman, the Queen, before her for a few long seconds, taking in her state of weariness with a heavy sigh, which only seemed to upset Rhaenyra further, her face turning red, her jaw clenching as she took a mighty step towards her.
“He killed my son!”
“And you killed mine!” She yelled back, matching her with the ferocity only a devastated mother could have. 
The reminder of what Rhaenyra agreed to, what she allowed Daemon to do, made her face crumble, her eyes falling to the floor, refusing to meet the gaze of the woman in front of her, the woman she had made lose everything. 
She never wished the loss of a child on any woman, yet here she was, standing face to face with the woman with whom she had directly caused the greatest sorrow. 
“Gods, Rhaenyra, do you think yourself innocent, do you think you are absolved of punishment from your place in this war?”
“I know I am not.” She choked out, her voice barely above a whisper. “But I did not start this. Your husband must pay for what he has done.”
“My husband does not hold this blame alone. This war would’ve happened no matter who laid the first blow, you know that.”
“They usurped my crown!”
“Yet you sit on the throne and the only reason you do is because Aemond chose to step down from the fight.” 
Rhaenyra’s jaw tightened, the fury in her eyes taking over her grief. 
“You did not come here to wager about succession.”
“No, I came to kill my brother.” Rhaenyra stated simply, her glare deepening when the woman in front of her scoffed.
“Aemond is under Ixtal’s protection. He has no governance under the crown.”
“Your father is an honorable man, he will do what is right-”
Her sarcastic laugh stopped Rhaenyra mid sentence, the older woman scowling at the young woman before her with blooming hatred.
“My father does not know all the details about what happened that night in King’s Landing, why I was attacked, how I lost my baby. If he knew it was you and Daemon that orchestrated it, that you were the reason he lost his grandchild, no force in this realm could save you.” She threatened, delighting in the way Rhaenyra shrunk under her pointed words. 
“Your position is tentative, Rhaenyra. Most of the realm despises you, especially after this senseless war. The smallfolk in King’s Landing are starving, the Lords of great houses are fed up with your trade arrangements, raising taxes, abandoning treaties.” She started, her voice low with animosity that steadily grew with each passing second she stood before her.
Rhaenyra looked surprised by what she knew, the details that hounded her night after night, the reason she was berated practically daily in court by smallfolk and Lords alike. 
“Most leaders in this realm hate you, you have little support anymore. If my father were to break tradition and take a stand against your position, how many houses do you think would remain loyal to you?”
Rhaenyra remained silent, her face twisted with disdain, mostly because she knew she had no argument. 
“If you threaten my husband, if you plan some heinous attack on his life, if you darken Ixtal with your presence again, I will tell my father the role you played in my attack and nothing will stop him from marching to the gates of King’s Landing, with the support of the entire realm behind him.” She warned darkly. “Don’t forget, we’re the reason you still have food on your plates. You shouldn’t bite the hand that feeds you.”
“Who do you think you are to threaten me? I am your Queen.” Rhaenyra raged, losing what little control she had left. 
“You think you can threaten me?” She countered. “That’s what you came here for, wasn’t it? To exert what little power you have left to boost your ego, to enact revenge for a bitter fight you caused.”
Rhaenyra flinched, her face twisted with derision at her words.
“Don’t pretend you have no role in this, Rhaenyra, you are smarter than that.” She added before the queen could speak another senseless word. “You pretended some measly words against your sons were more dire than a child who lost an eye. You added fire to an already growing inferno and you think they would, what? Live in peace?”
Rhaenyra gazed past her, refusing to look her in the eye. 
“I am truly sorry about what happened to Lucerys.”
“Don’t say his name.” Rhaenyra seethed.
“A son for a son, that was what you wanted, wasn’t it?” 
Rhaenyra flinched, swallowing harshly against the lump in her throat, the guilt she still felt for her role in such a violent act drowning her, especially now as she faced the woman she hurt directly. 
“You got what you wanted, so consider us even.” She choked out through her own growing emotions, the memory of that night still haunting her. “Now leave.”
She watched, feeling victorious as Rhaenyra bowed her head, unable to look at her, as she turned on her heel and began to walk to the door in defeat.
“You may sit on that throne but it is my house that holds the power.” She called out before she could leave the room. “Remember that next time you get the urge to visit again.”
The door closed behind the Queen and she let out a long breath, feeling as though a weight had been lifted from her shoulders, having spoken to the reason for her attack for the first time, having expelled her anger towards the woman who had caused her greatest loss. 
She let her shoulders relax, suddenly realizing how tense her entire body had become. She turned on her heel and stopped abruptly as she noticed Aemond in the doorway across the room.
His face was passive, she couldn’t read a single emotion on his face. Even after all their time together, she still had trouble reading him in moments when he was guarded. 
“How long have you been here?”
“Long enough.” He answered vaguely. A moment passed before he let a small smile grow and she breathed out, laughing slightly as she approached him. “I quite like seeing that side of you.”
“You are not mad?”
“Mad?” He asked in disbelief and laughed. “No, I think you handled that with much more grace than I ever could.” 
He held his hand out to her as she came before him, taking her hand in his and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. 
“In fact, seeing you defend me as valiantly as you did was quite… stirring.” 
She rolled her eyes and pushed at his chest.
“Aemond.” She admonished. “This is serious.”
“It is and you handled yourself as if you’ve been ruling for years.”
She sighed in annoyance, the praise not having the effect she expected. She felt as though he was avoiding the seriousness of what happened, or how wrong things could have turned out. 
“Your sister arrived to kill you and all you can do is compliment me?” 
Aemond’s smile faltered, his demeanor changing in an instant, the cool air around him gone.
“I have to live with what I did… to Lucerys.” He admitted quietly. “She must live with what she did. It’s like you said, we are even.” 
She intertwined their fingers, her hand squeezing his in a silent show of comfort. She knew he still felt immense guilt about what had happened that night, for what she endured as a result of it. 
He still had nights when he couldn’t face it. 
“Do you think she will retaliate?” She asked quietly and Aemond shook his head, clearing his throat and the air of intensity surrounding him as his easy smile returned. 
“Not unless she wants another verbal lashing from you.”
She scoffed and looked at her husband plainly. He pulled her towards him, a serious look in his eye even as his smirk remained. 
“If she ever dares to return, she will have to face Vhagar.” He told her. “I would never let her hurt you or anyone on this Island.”
She breathed out in relief. She didn’t want it to ever come to that, but to hear it so plainly, the lengths Aemond would go to protect her, to protect her family and their home, was a strange comfort. 
He kissed her forehead and looked at her with a gaze full of nothing but love, the words she had said to Rhaenyra in his defense running around his head. He would not soon forget it, the way she stood up for him. 
Her name was called from across the hall, breaking the moment between them. 
They turned to see her younger sister approaching, their smiles widening as they saw the bundle she carried in her arms.
“Sorry to interrupt, but she was getting fussy. I think she’s missing you two.” 
Aemond met her halfway, his arms already outstretched to take his daughter from his good sister. He whispered his thanks, his gaze locked onto the babe in his arms, his precious girl. 
At only 3 moons old, she was the greatest light in his life, aside from her mother of course. She had him wrapped around her little finger the second she took her first breath.
“Thank you for looking after her.” She told her sister and stood by Aemond’s side, latching onto his arm as they both gazed down at their child. 
“Is everything ok? I heard there was a dragon spotted.” Her sister inquired.
She looked over at Aemond, but he seemed too engrossed in their daughter to have even heard the question. 
“Everything’s fine. There’s nothing to worry about, she won’t be coming back.” She assured her sister who nodded and quickly made her exit, sensing the couple wanted to be alone with their little family.
Together, they walked out of the palace and through the gardens, coming to the familiar bench by the willow tree. 
Aemond sat, sparsely taking his eyes off his daughter. Next to him, his wife laughed, continually amused at how effortlessly their daughter mesmerized him. 
She leaned her head on his shoulder and reached out, gently tracing her finger over her daughter’s chubby cheeks that grinned at her touch, making a noise of contentment as she wriggled in her father’s arms. 
Aemond placed a kiss to her forehead and she raised her head, meeting his gaze. 
Their smiles grew at the same time, the same thought running through their minds. They had made it.
Whispered promises made in the beginning of their love had finally come true. 
They had their family and nothing could take it from them. 
~~
Thank you all for reading and coming with me and this wild ride! All of your comments have meant the absolute world to me and I'm just so happy I got to share this with you all xx
There will be an epilogue so this will not be the end of Aemond and his Sun xx
~~
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winterarmyy · 1 year
Text
Welcome home... Soldat? | Part I
That time when Bucky accidentally relapsed into the Winter Soldier.
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Summary: Y/N had make a habit of greeting Bucky a warm 'welcome home' everytime he came back from his missions, but there was one particular day when she unknowingly greeted someone else.
Navigation: Part I || Part II* || Part III (end) || Extra
Words: 2.9k++
Pairing: winter soldier!bucky x female!reader
Warnings: implied 18+ content, implied smut, dubious con on groping reader's body, dark(?) possessive behaviour, google translated russian, our soldat is kinda cute(?) in his own twisted way, and well, basically fluffy times with the soldat.
P/S: Guys, I never planned this at all. I mean, who am I kidding? All of my fics are not planned and I clearly write things out of impulse. Therefore, this one don't have much of a story building/plot because it was born out of one scene that flashed in my head and has been replayed way to many times that I need to let it out. Anyway, I still hope you enjoy it, somehow.
Read my other works here: Masterlist
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Y/N didn't know when exactly she started this habit but she swore to herself to never grow out of it.
It's been nearly 2 years since the fall of Hydra and the avenger has accepted the winter soldier under their wing. Begrudgingly by Tony, but the rest of them seemed like they're not against it.
Y/N used to be an agent from SHIELD but since the fall, she had been recruited under the avenger's programme and had been living in the tower since.
She remembered the day when Bucky first came in, he was quiet and weary all the time. Like an abandoned cat, picked up by a stranger to come to their home. And it took the whole team months before he slowly adapted.
Who knew he would morphed into a sassy, grumpy little shit, right?
Since the first day, Y/N had been making an effort to make him feel welcomed. Helped him to adjust to modern times. Though it was not regular but she's glad he came to her from time to time to ask about things.
Y/N only meant it to be casual when she greeted him back from his missions. Usually, it'll be something like,
"Oh you're back?"
"How's the team?"
"Good to see you well put together from such horrendous mission."
"God, you look like you fell from 5 flight of stairs."
"Are you even trying to fight back, Bucky?"
But one time, Bucky came back in the morning around breakfast, she wasn't feeling sassy or clever. So, instead of greeting him with playful remarks, in the glory of her messy bed hair and iron man pyjamas, she greeted him with a sleepy smile, "Welcome home, Bucky."
And that surely made the 6 foot, bulky hunk of a soldier paralysed in his spot. His ocean blues slightly widen, and his cheeks deepen in blush.
For a moment, he wondered if this is how he would feel if he had a wife waiting for him to come back from war back in the 40's. But, then again nothing can be compared to the sight he was seeing as he is now.
And Y/N didn't want to ever lose that memory of him.
Cute and flustered Bucky is a very rare sight to see. Perhaps, this was the only time she could witness it and she want to cherish it for the rest of her life.
Though Bucky never replied to Y/N's greeting, it didn't stop them from starting a whole new routine.
Y/N always knew that she had a thing for the sargent, but about 2 months from that moment, Y/N realized she was in love.
And she waited for him, every single chance she had for arrival of the team to come back. Just like she is now, at 03:45 in the morning, while scavenging for something sweet she can eat as she waits for Bucky's return.
When, she turned around she was not expecting to have her face into clashed into something, "Oww!" Y/N shuts her eyes close as she rubbed her aching nose to ease the sharp strike of pain.
For a moment there, she seriously thought she might have just bumped into some kind of a solid air that appeared out of nowhere, but when she opened her eyes, it was just Bucky who was standing rather ominously still.
"My god, you scared the shit out of me. I know you used to be an assassin but, you gotta announce yourself sometimes, man." She joked. Although she did find it impressive that he managed to silently sneak up on her with those thick, heavy combat boots he was wearing.
"Woah, someone's been having a field day kicking your ass, huh?" Y/N's eyes lingered a little longer on the wounds at the side of his temple that she didn't notice the void in his eyes.
"Anyway..." she continued as she shook of the thoughts of caressing the cut on the corner of Bucky's lip, before greeting him with a gentle smile, "Welcome home."
Bucky's unresponsiveness was nothing new to her. With the amount of silent glares and gruff eye-rolls that he had shot at her these past few months, she's used to it by now.
But, when she finally had the guts to look him in the eye, only then she noticed the underlying shift. Albeit, his signature frown was still as present as ever but, those eyes had made her questioned of the slight difference from what she recognized.
Bucky wordlessly step forward and cornered her until her back meets the side of the kitchen isle. He took his time assessing her, almost admiring the way her iris wavered in confusion.
Something is wrong.
Her guts were screaming at her to notice it but her body wasn't reacting accordingly. That's when the voice of the AI, Jarvis echoed through the walls.
"Emergency alert: Code Winter. Initiated by Captain Steve Rogers. All agent is advised..." The announcement went on based on protocol while the cogs in Y/N's brain finally moved, "Code Winter? That means..."
 "...to be cautious of Sargent James Barnes; reprimand on sight however try not to engage alone. Agents is..." Jarvis voice in the background interwoven with Y/N's internal deduction, "...This is not Bucky?"
As she tried to put her own mind into perspective, trying to make herself believe that this man in front of her is not Bucky Barnes who she had been adoring over for these past few months, the soldat's hands reached the side of her neck, squeezing the softness of her flesh while his thumbs grazed the shape of her jawline.
His heavy gaze remained on hers, willing her to stay as still possible.
"Bucky...?" She called his name in hopes of triggering something, anything for within his controlled mind.
At end of the corridor leading towards the kitchen, Steve could see how the soldat had already gotten his hands on Y/N and panic strike him like lightning, he sprinted towards her as he despretely shouted, "Y/N! Stay away from--"
But Y/N was not able to render anything she heard from Steve, especially after a long silence, the soldat finally spoke, "Yes, I'm home..."
He carefully pulled her face closer to his as his lips planted on her soft cheek, "...мое cолнышко (my sunshine)" he lifted for a second just to kiss her again on her temple as he whispered lowly, "...мое Родная (my darling)"
Y/N's heart was beating madly for several different reasons. Parts of her was terrified that the soldat might break her neck within an instance, but it gradually changes into something much more confusing, a conflicted joy, when he keep on trailing his lips all over her face.
What is happening?
Both her and Steve was practically frozen in pure confusion.
Steve's mouth hanged open as words failed to form, while Y/N was unable to comprehend any sort of thoughts, let alone counter movements; when the soldat continue to whisper Russian endearments against her skin, littering sweet kisses on every part of her face, except for her lips as if he wanted to tease her.
His hands slowly travel down her back and stopped on the side of her waist, pulling her body closer until there was no space in between them anymore, before he wrapped his arms around her.
The drag of his stubble on her skin burned but it felt so good when he kissed it after.
Seconds later, Sam managed to catch up with Steve and his cautious approach fell as he witnessed the soldat's rather domestic actions towards Y/N.
Sam foolishly let his guard down as he approached with a question directed to Steve, "Is the tin man back?" That was when a bullet barely grazed the tip of his ear that then buried through the wall behind him.
Both Steve and Sam forced to stop any sort of movement as the soldat's aim was still locked towards their direction; his cold blue eyes pierced with a menacing warning, all the while posessively holding Y/N in his arms as his kisses trailed the side of her neck.
"Nope, not yet." Sam answered his own question as he waited for Steve's order.
Y/N felt like she have to do something to de-escalate the situation. After a quick deduction, and based on the soldat attitude towards her, she took the risk of believing that he would not do anything to hurt her, so she decided to play along.
Will it work though?
Well, she got to have to try for it work.
She gulped nervously before softly calls for him, "Soldat?" she looked up towards him.
When the soldat gave her his attention, she watched the loose strand of his hair fall down to his face. Her hand went up and reached for it, "How about we go back to your room and let me tend these wounds, hmm?" She cooed while tucking his behind his ear and briefly caressing his cheek with the back of her fingers.
The soldat didn't reply but instead silently process her proposition.
However, the hesitation only worried her more, so she continued to persuade, as she cautiously slide her hand, following his arm that was holding her teammates at gun point, "It'll be just the two of us. How's that sound?" She smiled warmly at him as she managed to lower it enough to grab the gun away from his grasp.
There was a glint of indecipherable emotion in his eyes when she mentioned that, which then he nodded in agreement.
"Okay then, let's go." She put the gun on the kitchen isle behind her and replaced her hand in his, pulling him towards his bedroom. The soldat did not protest to her lead, in fact her followed her obediently.
But before Y/N makes an exit, she looked back towards Steve and mouthed a reassuring message, "I got this."
The captain had all the rights to be weary but at this point, he just had to believe in Y/N's action plan. He nodded and replied, "Be safe. We'll be outside."
Along the walk towards Bucky's room, all she could think was that she can handle it and she got this under control.
But, does she?
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Well, Y/N did have it under control, in terms of keeping the soldat from going on a berserk rampage but what she didn't think through was how the fuck she should handle his behaviour towards her.
After they arrived to Bucky's room, she had instructed him to strip off his tactical suit and leave him sitting at the edge of the bed, only in his short to avoid him reaching for any hidden weapons he had, all the while she went to grab the first aid from his bathroom.
Now that she almost done tending the small injuries on his face, it finally dawned to her that the soldat had her immobilized in between his legs as his hands rubbed the back of her thighs, occasionally squeezing the softness of her body in his tender grip.
His intent gaze waited patiently for her to finish and as soon as she did, he pulled her on his lap, making her to straddle on top him as he smushed his face on her chest, "Oh, Родная (darling)... I have missed you."
Her hands found her balance on his shoulders while the soldat roaming hands held her body still by the back of her waist.
It will be a lie if she said her heart didn't skipped when he confessed; even if it was still the soldat's thoughts and words but it was Bucky's voice.
The soldat pulled his other hand to play with the buttons of her pyjamas shirt, specifically around her chest area.
Part of him wanted to just rip her clothes off from her body but another part of him didn't want to. He didn't want scare her; and his precious little darling deserved to be pampered.
He had her buttons popped off; one by one, slow and almost sensual while Y/N was still in a heated debate with herself on what she should to next. She wanted the soldat to stop but god the temptation of wanting more was beyond her will power.
This is not Bucky.
She knew that. But, she had been bewitched by the look in those familiar blue eyes. So enthralled and so keen to unwrap her.
Y/N let out a low yet sharp gasp as her chest was finally revealed, "Soldat, what..." The soldat take a quick glance into her eyes, "...are you doing?" before trailing back down to the curve of her breasts, cupped so beautifully with a simple black bra.
His hands went back to grabbed her thighs as he replied, "Just wanna hold you." He leaned closer and left a lingering kiss in between her breasts, mumbling deep, " Wanna feel you, мое Родная (my darling)"
Fuck, it feels so good.
"Wanna feel you..." Y/N's grip on his bare shoulder tightened as he lips warmed the top of her right breast, "...here." An unexpected moan slipped out of her lips as the soldat latched his wet mouth on her skin, bruising it with his mark.
He groaned to the taste of her, so sweet and soft, he wanted to pull the bra off her and suckle on her nipple. He bet that they're perky and so sensitive. Bet he could make her cum just by playing with them.
He wanted to leave his bite mark around them, make them look much more prettier. But, he needed to be patient.
He brought his left hand up to hold the other side of her chest; pulling another pretty noise as the cold metal of his thumb gently stroked the exposed skin of her breast.
"Wanna feel you..." His flesh hand made its way lower and cupped her clothed sex, unexpectedly making her grind down to his hold, "...here."
She couldn't help to find shelter in the crook of his neck when he began to stroke her sensually.
This is getting out of hand.
Y/N doesn't mind to entertain him if the soldat only asked for him to hold her but it was clear that he wanted so much more than just innocent touches. Especially when he languidly rubbed his middle finger in between the slit of her pussy.
She hates how easy it was for Bucky's touch turned her on, his hands and his lips; regardless if his actions was someone else's.
This is wrong.
This has to stop.
"No... soldat." She whimpered in his ears as his finger drew slow circles on her clit, his mouth latched on her shoulder.
"I can't touch you here?" He murmured softly as he pressed harder. Even with the barrier of the cotton panties, she was so sensitive to his touch; he loves that about her.
"N-no. You can't." She choked back a moan as she replied.
God, what if he doesn't care?
What if he'll get mad and force it on her?
She can't imagine the guilt Bucky had to experience if the soldat take her right now. And all because her stupid little brain cannot comprehend a plan to stop him, all because she let the soldat touch her as freely, as willingly.
Salty tears started to blur her vision when she sniffled them back.
Much to his deperateness, the soldat pulled her away and watched as her tears spilled out, "Oh darling, don't cry." He leaned in and kiss the corners of her eyes, murmuring his words of comfort, "I hate to see you cry, мое cолнышко (my sunshine)." His metal hand slithered to her back and his palm stroked her lovingly.
"Okay, okay. I won't touch your sweet princess part, okay?" He patted her pussy one last time before reaching to swipe her tears away. "I promise." He whispered.
As much as he wanted to fuck her stupid, fill her hole full with his load; however the soldat does hold her very dear to his heart and hates to see her sad.
"Just let me hold you close, darling?" He cooed as he kissed the edge of her lips.
Y/N didn't know why but she trusted his words. Maybe it was because he was so gentle with her, that she was tricked into believing him.
She watched the soldat waited patiently for her response and when she nodded softly, he swiftly lifted her in his arms and lay her down on the bed.
He tucked himself in under the sheets with her and naturally rested his face on her chest. His fleshed arms wrapped securely around her waist and his metal one around her thighs, as he pulled her closer; almost suffocating himself in between her warm breasts.
It was like an instinct for Y/N to encircle her arms around his neck while her hands run through the thick of his hair, absentmindedly playing with the softness of it.
She almost giggle when the soldat let out a deep-throated sound of relieved sighs as she continued to massage his scalp.
As the soldat started to sail deeper into dreamland, Y/N thought that maybe this will be the only and the last time she had the chance to hold Bucky like this and she knew it was wrong to feel grateful to the soldat because had done nothing but terrible, despicable things in the past.
But when she thought about it, none of those sins was his choice to make. He was created to kill and nothing else.
But what if he had something to hold on to?
A hope to look forward to?
A person to protect?
Or a home to go back to?
Would he still be the same monster he had been before?
She have not a slightest clue.
But, what she does know that this soldat who's clinging in her arms, deserves something kind.
And she hoped that she managed to give him a sense of peace for once in his life.
Y/N nuzzled to the side of his tired-looking face and placed a sweet kiss on his temple as she whispered ever-so-softly, "Welcome home, soldat."
Part II >>
Read my other works here: Masterlist
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A/N: This is possibly part 1? I'm not sure either. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments! And reblogs is much appreciated!
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