#and Amazon gets points for the assist

[firstdegreefangirl]

15/10 points to Amazon for improving the quality of long-distance friendships

[reasonsforhope]

By the time Sue Shusterman turns away from the bench at the overlook and back toward the trailhead, she knows the paddleboarders are out in force 300 yards away on the gleaming blue surface of Chatfield Reservoir.  

She knows the high runoff waters have flooded the roots of Chatfield’s willows and cottonwoods, and that the first spring-green layers of the foothills rise to the west like soft fabric. 

How she acquired these life-affirming memories is at first a mystery, since Shusterman is blind and is heading back toward the parking lot making her usual sweep of the path in front with her ever-present white cane.  

But then a friendly voice emerges from the phone that Shusterman is pointing toward the path from her other hand.

A little to the left to stay on the paved path. Looks like there’s a trail all the way down to the beach, about 75 yards, if you wanted to go. I’ll just be here watching, let me know if you need anything. 

The voice is from a live, trained human guide FaceTiming through Shusterman’s phone camera on the Aira ability-assist app. Sight-impaired people have been using Aira’s guides to make it easier to do anything from navigating an airport to filling out an online job form. Now, all 42 Colorado state parks like Chatfield are geofenced to allow any visitor to use Aira for free to stroll the trails with a helpful set of eyes. 

The Aira guides seemingly effortlessly offer what a blind hiker either needs, or wants. If there’s a dangerous steep drop-off on the right, they warn. If the hiker would rather know if the sneezeweed is in bloom or the sailboats are luffing through a turn, Aira offers that instead.

For Shusterman, trying Aira as an outdoors adventure for the first time, the allure was simple: “Independence.” 

“So she’s doing, I think, a phenomenal job of including the necessary safety things, but the perks of the scenery, too,” Shusterman said, as she paused during a conversation with an Aira guide based in Tulsa, Oklahoma. “She’s doing great.”

State accessibility officials recently announced the expansion of Aira to state parks grounds, after previously providing Aira free for other state-related functions such as navigating a government building or getting help on an online site or filling out forms. Colorado cannot control the cellphone signal, though, so parks officials encourage visitors to try Aira at a familiar or close-in park space before ranging farther afield with it. Popular parks like Staunton or Golden Gate contain pockets where signals are not strong. 

For consumers buying access on their own, Aira costs about $50 for 30 minutes of assistance a month. Private employers and governments often buy package access to Aira and other accessibility apps for all employees to use. State accessibility coordinator Theresa Montano, who is blind and accompanied Shusterman on her Chatfield walk, said Amazon buys access so that sight-impaired shipping center employees can navigate steps to pack orders.

Montano uses Aira at her state job, saying the guides on the app can share her computer screen and help her get through an online task in 30 minutes that might take her four hours without help or through older accessibility tools. 

Adding Aira for state-owned lands was wrapped into the overall $250,000 budget for free Aira use on state property and with state websites. The additional utility is an obvious plus, Montano said. 

“This gives blind people the same opportunity to come and enjoy it by themselves or with their family if they want to, and be independent,” she said...

Shusterman walked away taking more from the big picture experience, rather than any particular scenic detail. 

“For me, it was, you know what, I could go for a walk on this path, and I could feel completely safe, and I would enjoy a nice walk and get some exercise, in an unfamiliar area,” Shusterman said. “It’s definitely a real confidence boost for me.”  

-via The Colorado Sun, June 11, 2024

[g1rlken]

Hi hi! For the prompts can you do 10 and 14 with Christian bales Bruce Wayne?

Prompt: chaotic married life w kids + domestic fluff

Words: 2k

Thank you sm for this req it’s so cute

-

Marriage tends to change people is a superficial analysis of growing together but children sure do change routines. Especially morning routines where chaos is an understatement. Raising a child requires a village but for twins a whole army might just suffice. Vincent and William. A very pleasant blessing of two little boys in the Wayne household. However Bruce and y/n were subjected to consider just how much of peace was the cost of that blessing.

Their twins were such serene babies, toddler phase was a transition to literal devils during grade school. Getting them to do home work, go to school, eat the greens, not unleash hell…such difficult tasks.

Today like every other school morning, the parents had divided to bathe the twins in different bathrooms. When they were much younger and playful as babies bathing them in the giant bathtub where they’d just play with soap bubbles and those Amazon find bath toys was a cute activity. Nowadays, on Sundays sometimes they’d just hose them down in the garden and call it a day. It was so much more convenient for the parents and even the twins who absolutely despised bathing. Y/n bathed the older twin Vincent in the bathroom which was upstairs, Bruce downstairs with William who was a bad influence of his brother to not bathe and Alfred preparing breakfast and lunch boxes.

“Bruce!” Y/n voice shrieked from upstairs followed by a whiny cry from Vincent and he rushed to inquire, finding his wife looking for the sink holding her eyes shut.

“What happened here…?” Bruce asked as stepped inside and was immediately attacked by a plastic bottle Vincent could get his hands on as he moved frantically in the bathtub. Bruce dodged it with dad reflex thankfully.

“There’s shampoo in our eyes” Y/n briefed him and pointed at their son to go help him given she could assist herself with the sink water.

Vincent was just moving frantically in the shallow bath water shaking his head and hands splashing the water “Do something!” The boy demanded with a shrill cry.

“ Vin, calm down” Bruce urged as he bent on his knees to the bath level and held some of the running water in his hands to pour into his shampoo hurting eyes but he’d just squeezed them shut. “Open your eyes”

“I can’t! They hurt!” The boy whined and splashed the water very disruptively it went all over Bruce’s face.

“Breathe, you’re alright just breathe…open your eyes.” Bruce soothed anyways as he helped Vincent soothe the hurt by sprinkling cleaner water again, “why were you shampooing him anyways? We literally have school in an hour”

“I wasn’t but someone keeps on changing the bottles with soap and shampoo again and again” Y/n replied scoffing in obviousness as she air dried her eyes, it was Bruce who colour coded them like that in a different set of bottle at each refill. Washing hair of a seven year old who will fight a literal battle to resist it, will most definitely end up in a painful situation as such.

“It is literally so simple, white for soap and off white for shampoo” Bruce accounted for his way of arrangement as he dabbed his son’s eyes with towel, soothing his cries.

“We don’t have time to go into that discourse I’ll go pack lunch” Y/n said as she hurriedly wiped her own eyes.

“Oh Alfred’s on it…” Bruce informed her casually as Vincent’s eyes were normal again he opened them with a heavy sigh.

“Oh man I’m never using shampoo again.” The boy said dramatically and received a disapproving shake of head from his dad.

“Wait then who’s with Will?” Y/n asked about their younger twin William, whose morning crankiness were much worse.

“Uh” Bruce paused realising he’d not considered that as he’d rushed to his wife’s call for help “He was brushing his teeth”

“Alright he’s most definitely asleep again.” She sighed composing herself, leaving Vincent to get out of bath and dressed for his dad she rushed downstairs. As expected, William was fast asleep on the marble sink leaning against the wall with his legs dangling down the sink, ever since the kids learned to climb places no surface was unreachable. “Willy!” Y/n exclaimed as she carried him down the sink “William wake up come on we’ve to go to school!” She exclaimed and brushed his teeth for him hurriedly as he mumbled something about not wanting to go.

“I don’t want to…” will whined still half asleep not wanting to go because he still wanted to sleep. During vacations it was difficult to put him down to bed just absolute monkey activities all day long jumping here to there and during school days he couldn’t be bothered to brush his teeth even.

William tried to have a one sided debate about why he shouldn’t have to go to school and was eventually fully awake, much to y/n’s demise now she couldn’t manhandle and carry her son to brush his teeth and bath because now he was ready to have full sassy conversations. “You know I’m not getting in that right?” He said to his mum and gave the filling bathtub a disgusting look.

“We literally don’t have time for this please don’t bring-“ his mum started sighing as she foresaw the upcoming torment.

“What?” William said exaggerating his obviousness “I won’t be clean with gutter water”

“It’s not guttter water!” She tried to , despite being on the clock “Don’t believe everything you hear in school” she bent to her knees to match his eye level and try to convince him better “you know no ones want to sit with the kid who hasn’t bathed in 24 hours?”

“But didn’t you say people should like each other for who they are and their kindness and not what they dress and look like” Will responded smugly crossing his arms at his mum, well aware he was winning this debate so far.

Taking a deep breath to subside her annoyance of her own words biting her back, “No, that was for when you wanted to wear your ducky hat and those big kids made fun of you. Not for hygiene.”

“I don’t even know what that word means so…” he trailed off with a pout of correctness.

“Look, we’re going to be really late can you please cooperate.”

“I am awake, I brushed my teeth and I am talking to you that is enough operation on my part” William reasoned with his mom with a shrug.

“It’s cooperation.” She corrected him.

“It’s the same thing” William answered offering her mom a smile of encouragement, as if she did not know the word.

“No it’s not.” Y/n replied before she could continue Bruce’s knock on the open door averted their attention.

“He’s still not ready?” Bruce exclaimed in urgency.

“Vin?” Y/n asked about the status of the other twin as Bruce nodded and briefed her that he was with Alfred. Joint breakfast plus lunch box duties. Bruce stepped inside because clearly with his wife on his son’s eye level trying to convince him to shower seemed like she needed help.

“I literally don’t even have to go to school!” William exclaimed “I know each and every animal and I know that that water comes from sewage!” He said pointing to the bath water.

“For the hundredth time will, it doesn’t come from the sewage!” Bruce interjected with a sigh. “It’s very clean”

“So I can drink it?” William proposed raising brows at his parents.

“No” Y/n replied almost instantly, William was very fast to react she was worried he might actually try something “No you can’t drink it.”

“Why?” William demanded an answer with the hopes of his parents getting trapped in their own initial proponent that the water was not from sewage.

“Look I’m going to count to three if you don’t get in-“ Y/n began, as they were really on the clock she couldn’t reason ever so rationally.

“Hey hey no” Bruce interrupted his wife shaking his head, “We don’t do that, don’t threaten him. We have a civil conversation.”

“I’m not threatening him woah” she replied with a huff at his accusation.

“Count to three and what? Splash him?” Bruce asked somewhat wanting to have stern yet hostile approach to the kid.

“—Of course!”

“But I only have to bath if I have to go to school wight?” William enquired mispronouncing right for wight “what if I don’t? Can’t I just be homeschooled?! Dada was homeschooled.”

“Exactly, dada was homeschooled and he’s now a grown up who has no friends.” Y/n explained it to him rather unapologetically but not in a poking way to Bruce . “Do you want to be like that?”

“No that’s not true I have friends” Bruce jumped to his defence somewhat taken aback how casually his wife threw that one in, despite an apologetic smile she offered him.

“Name your two best friends then.” William investigated as he looked up at his dad with an anticipated look.

Bruce paused for a moment as he thought about it, he looked serious which made y/n wonder if he had any friends she hadn’t known of this entire time. His face seemed like he was trying to pick between his ever so large group of friends but he began, “Y/n and..” he trailed off thinking again but William had gotten his answer.

“Okay I understand now.” William said looking his mom, both of them shared a small laugh which Bruce didn’t exactly get on but at least William agreed to get in the bath.

-

Leaving Bruce to dress the boy y/n rushed outside to help Alfred with breakfast and lunch boxes, “hey hey hey” she rushed over to Alfred, where Vincent was clinging to the old man as piggy back. A very concerning sight given, not that he would fall but Alfred was rather old. “Get down from there!”

“It’s alright Miss Wayne.” Alfred said with a smile as Vincent just laughed getting favoured against his mum’s demand.

“No it’s not.” She shook her head carrying Vincent off of him and placed him on the dinning table chair, “They’re both getting way too heavy to carry.”

“I just can’t refuse them.” Alfred laughed a small laugh as he set the plates for breakfast.

“Well you should” Y/n said hurriedly as she rummaged through the cabinets to get the lunch boxes out, by then Bruce returned with a towel over will’s head. Once he sat him on the chair he rubbed his drenched hair hastily.

“No not my hair!” Vincent flinched with a scowl on his face when Bruce attempted to dry his hair as well.

“We’re late Vin, come on” Bruce refused to give into the whining at this point and dried Vincent’s hair anyways. He walked across the kitchen to help y/n reaching for the lunch box on the top shelf as she prepared one of those.

“Late?” Alfred asked as he registered the sentence “Late for what? It’s Sunday.”

“It’s Sunday today?!” Y/n asked as she turned around and her eyes winded.

“Yes.” Alfred nodded positively as he pointed to the calendar.

The parents just sighed relaxing their shoulders in regret, “wow” y/n chuckled softly as Bruce joined along comprehending his regret with the humour of it as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder. “I did not just bathe both of them on a Sunday.” She laughed as Bruce brought her into a side hug.

“You?” He raised a brow looking down at her.

“We” she corrected herself with a smile as she gave him with a soft peck on the lips.

[the-gimmick-archive]

Pinned post. (Will update.)

This is a shared blog made to archive important things that happen in the gimmickverse.

The current mods are: @justazebra (admin), @i-dont-know-how-to-name-this.

If we make a mistake, please tell us.

Please @ us if you see an important event happen, especially wars.

Send us an ask if you want to know about a certain event, we’ll do our best to find it.

If you have the link to something important that we didn't archive yet (especially if it happened before this blog started existing), please send it to us.

List of arcs and events:

The color war:

Earliest point in the arc we could find. The purple revolution begins. Green joins the revolution.

That time when figuratively everyone got possessed:

Earliest point in the arc we could find.

The UwU revolution:

Earliest point in the arc we could find.

Sealand dying and being revived:

Death. Revival. Death again, but this time they become death's assistant.

IKEA-Party City War:

Earliest point in the arc.

Goose god vs. Waste management war:

Earliest point. Waste management also declaring war. Goose god and waste management making an alliance to stop @/france-unofficial from attacking bean and making Bean sad.

New Zealand vs. Australia war:

Earliest point. New Zealand changing targets to England instead.

Bean getting kidnapped:

Earliest point.

Bean getting kidnapped again (by gimmick nose thief this time.):

Earliest point. Waste management selling their soul so they can see bean again. Molossia scratching and paralyzing Sealand. Sealand getting their souls stolen by gimmick nose thief.

List of gimmick blogs (copied from @/gimmick-simp, @/antarcitica-official, and @/celestial-same-picverse, and then added some missing ones):

@totally-official-gmail @totally-amazon @pizza-hut-official @spotify-official @truly-jcjenson

@bigbasket-notreally @discorddotcum-official @homedepot @im-pandora-i-promise @femboy-totally-bing

@kahoot-official @100percent-shell-oil @assistant-to-the-shell @truly-bath-and-body-works @definitely-tiktok-trust

@unofficially-joann-fabric @its-sanrio-official @the-real-gmail @apple-unofficial @jack-in-the-box-official

@official-arbys @officialtinder @realgoogleslides @reallytimhortons @officially-ikea

@claires-unofficial @barnes-and-noble-official @realgoogleclassroom @real-sephora @pizza-hut-unofficial

@google-news-official @totally-official-gmail @bingle-official @basically-bumble @def-bjs-guys

@official-opera-gx @official-firefox-nightly @the-mcdonalds @realgoogledocs @mcdonalds-official

@totally-bing @operagxreal @official-fedex @firehouse-subs-fr @k-f-c-official

@the-real-google @totally-ikea @taco-bell-unofficial @spotify-kids-real @the-real-victorias-secret

@subway-official @big-mayo-official @/realsafari @incognito-mode-official @burgerking-official

@definitely-wikipedia @the-one-and-only-pornhub @the-one-and-only-duckduckgo @its-target-official @yes-im-youtube-kids

@walmart-the-official @duothelingo @firefox-official @femboy-hooters-real @fedex-official

@yamaha-official @youtubefr @actually-x @reality-official

@femboy-google-news-official @50percent-shell-oil @yahooo-official @totally-airbus @the-official-spirit-airlines

@100percent-chipotle @unofficialvine

@totally-brazil @totally-italy @very-real-australia @the-province-of-nova-scotia-real @official-new-zealand

@russia-totallyofficial @quebec-official @india-official @india-reblogs @telangana-official

@denmark-official @pakistan-official @definitely-brasil @non-tyrannical-usa @antarcitica-official

@spain-unofficial @definitely-canada @france-unofficial @the-state-of-georgia-official @official-denmark

@denmark-forreal @official-ireland @texas-real @massachusetts-official @new-york-for-real

@definitelytherepublicofireland @true-blue-straya @totally-germany @official-the-united-states @totally-france

@forever-scotland @germany-official @sovereign-state-of-alaska @guatemala-official @republic-of-molossia

@actually-alberta @the-principality-of-sealand @totally-oregon @yugoslavia-official

@the-chill-planet-uranus @the-serene-moon-luna @earth-fan @deimos-moon-of-terror @officially-capricorn

@the-radiant-sun @the-ringed-planet-saturn @the-red-planet-mars @the-real-uranus @celestial-same-picverse

@officially-taurus @the-lovely-planet-earth @posts-with-10000-notes-in-spirit @/i-hesitantly-say-ok

@i-say-not-ok @i-say-ok @the-us-navy-offical

@woo-in-different-lengths @official-garlic-bread @shakespeare-official-reblogs @gimmick-thief @hold-my-dr-pepper

@oscar-wilde-official-account @the-real-illinois @i-say-grape @the-kingdom-of-norway @denmarklandia-official

@i-say-bean @sweden-official @antarcitica-official @gimmick-nose-thief @gimmick-thief-thief

@tamil-nadu-official @tamilnadu-official @anti-totally-bing @antiquitian-empire @rocks-anon

@tagswoman @actual-aspec-military @pansexual-spaceforce @the-aplatonic-cavalry @the-pointing-anon

@bi-poly-space-station @bisexual-airforce @aro-sp-ace-force @nonbinary-coastguard @demi-demolitions

@queer-military-authorities @queer-military-treasury @the-missiles-guy @the-official-goose-god @the-official-gemini

@actual-transgender-navy @genderfluid-marine-corp @real-australian-army @real-hottopic

@same-pic-of-venus-everyday @same-pic-of-the-earth-everyday @same-pic-of-the-moon-everyday @same-pic-of-mars-everyday @same-pic-of-jupiter-everyday

@same-pic-of-saturn-everyday @the-real-uranus @same-pic-of-neptune-everyday @steve-not-anon @metal-frisbee

@earth-fan @not-10-salmon-in-a-png @same-pic-of-halleys-comet @same-pic-of-callisto-everyday @same-pic-of-eris-everyday @same-pic-of-kepler-186f-everyday

@same-pic-of-haumea-everyday @same-image-of-7-iris @book-nonsie-not-anon @celestial-same-picverse @same-pic-of-pluto-everyday

@same-pic-of-juno-everyday @same-pic-of-polaris-everyday @tomblrmartian @same-pic-of-a-blackhole-everyday @same-pic-of-the-stars-everyday

@alpha-centauri-everyday @same-cosmic-cliffs-pic-every-day @rose-nebula-always @same-pic-of-makemake-everyday @same-picture-of-europa

@same-pic-of-the-lagoon-nebula @star-that-eats-the-sun @jupiter-fan

@same-pic-of-triton-everyday @pq-anon @same-pic-of-ceres-everyday @same-pic-of-wolftopia-everyday

@same-pic-of-mars-everyday @same-pic-of-tres2b-everyday @samepicofthewowsignaleveryday @same-pic-of-the-blue-moon @same-image-of-hr8799e-every-day

@samepictureofsednadaily @moon-of-fear-phobos @totally-neptune-official @corvus-the-constellation @official-nissan

@hollowknight-reference @microsoft-edge-official @arethosewordsinthebible @the-gimmick-doctor @i-say-doot-doot

@i-say-ok @discord-marriage-bot-real @literally-leo @literally-luxembourg

@/same-pic-of-a-dictionary-daily @/same-pic-of-mercury-everyday @/hateful-daystar @//court-artist-under-the-stars @/samepicofproximacentaurieveryday @/same-pic-of-the-sun-everyday @/same-pic-of-the-blood-moon @/same-pic-of-uranus-everyday @/same-pic-of-venus-every-day @/same-pic-of-trans-jupiter @/ton-618-real @/same-pic-of-alpha-centaur-24-7 @/same-pic-of-andromeda-everyday @/same-pic-of-a-bagel-everyday @/same-pic-of-titan-every-day

@putting-iris-in-places @communist-usa-real

(Sorry if you didn't want to get tagged.)

[megumimania]

TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES - ryomen sukuna

summary: your boyfriend hates modern technology.

warnings: sukuna x fem reader, sukuna is an old hag (affectionately), sukuna not fucking with consumerism is he in his marxist era?🤔, sukuna is a softie when he wants to be, sukuna is ooc because i hate writing mean men :), yuji being a hottie is my fav hc of all time, i can’t believe im giving amazon free promo 😞.

notes: i missed you guys!

sukuna cant wrap his head around technology.

he doesn’t understand why companies sell ‘new’ phones every single year, when they perform the same exact functions as the previous one.

he doesn’t like how your coffee machine has too many buttons when all he wants in the morning is just a cup of black coffee to get him through the day. sukuna just prefers doing things the old fashioned way which makes him subject to teasing by you and his little brother yuuji.

he doesn’t care though, constantly talking about how he’s ‘escaped the matrix’ by not owning an up to date phone and only getting his news from the daily paper and tv. however his view on technology changed once you brought alexa home.

initially he thought that it was a speaker and was confused to why you bought another one. “it’s not just a speaker ryo,” you corrected him swiftly. “she’s a digital assistant that can tell you the time, the weather, recipes and she can even tell jokes.”

sukuna looked at you with the same wariness he’d give to a snake oil salesman. “can’t your phone do the same exact thing for less?” you knew he was lowkey right but your stubbornness refused to let him get the upper hand.

“that’s not the point babe.” you playfully rolled your eyes at him, carrying the box to the kitchen counter and setting it down with a loud thump. “now if you’ll excuse me i’ll be busy setting my alexa up.” you huffed as you opened the instructions trying to make sense of them.

sukuna looked over at your focused expression. your brow furrowed with concentration as you read the instructions. it was simple really and within a couple of minutes the alexa was ready to go and by the joyous look of pride on your face sukuna knew that he was going to be in for one hell of a ride.

and unfortunately he was right.

life with an alexa was hell. sukuna barely got through the day without hearing the monotone female voice rattle off the hottest food spots or tell you a stupid joke that was suddenly the most funniest thing alive. he used to make you laugh like that!

he felt like the speaker was taunting him. hell he couldn’t even have some down time with you without that stupid speaker getting in the way. it was literally like he was third wheeling all the time and he hated it. you were his girlfriend first!

sukuna didn’t like being second best. especially to a glorified speaker.

you and sukuna were cuddling on the couch together after finishing a movie—terminator 2 to be exact. “so what do you think of the alexa?” you asked whilst the credits rolled, mindlessly stroking his cheek with your acrylic nails whilst he rubbed your legs.

sukuna tensed at the question as he tried to think of a way to answer without sounding like a complete asshole. “well…im not really a fan.” you could already tell from the dry tone and his poor attempt of acting unfazed that he was lying through his teeth.

“if that’s the case then why did i find it in the bathtub?” you pulled up the waterlogged alexa in a ziploc bag. sukuna would usually have a sarcastic reply in his arsenal but he was now looking at you as if he was a deer caught in headlights.

“fine, i used the damned thing.” he raised his hands up as he accepted defeat much to your surprise. “it fell into the bathtub when i was trying to stream that megan the stallion song yuuji told me to listen to. he said something about the song needing to go number 1 on the charts.”

you sat back in disbelief. you didn’t know whether to be annoyed, angry or smitten with him. “i’m glad yuji is helping you become more cultured but why did my alexa have to die for such a good cause!” you wailed dramatically collapsing on the floor, clutching the alexa to your chest.

sukuna lifted you off the floor with such ease it almost made you jealous. “stop whining i already ordered another one. it should be coming in a few days.” he said with his usual gruff tone that was laced with softness, peppering kisses down your neck.

you giggled as his stubble tickled your skin. “that was quick, you missed it that much already?” you teased him whilst you hooked your arms around him running your nails down the nape of his neck.

sukuna rolled his eyes at your playful expression. “i’m still anti technology, don’t be fooled.” one thing sukuna was to his core was a hater but like most haters he rarely stood on business.

“whatever you say babe.” you hummed biting back a smile. you and sukuna knew give or take two months that he’d change his opinion about it.

[janeyseymour]

Two Families Become One- pt 4

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3.

Summary: the last addition to this little verse for now- you and Melissa get married.

WC: ~2.45k

With the upcoming wedding, which both you and Melissa had agreed to be a very small gathering of family and the Abbott clan (much to Ellie’s dismay), along with the paperwork for Ellie to become an official Schemmenti just mere days after you, life was more than a little crazy.

Both of you were wrapping up the school year with teaching, Ellie was as hyperactive and excitable as ever with everything coming up, and nothing seemed to calm the chaos that was constantly overtaking your life at this point. It was far and few between at this point that you took her to the park or even got a moment of peace and quiet with your fiancée. No, those days were gone and replaced with various planning meetings- both for school and for your upcoming wedding, because even a small wedding requires much attention- alongside various meetings with the family lawyer that you had hired to ensure that Melissa could adopt Ellie without any flukes.

But the school year wraps up, Barbara helps to assist the two of you with anything from ensuring that your marriage license would be ready by the wedding date a week after classes were done to taking Ellie off of your hands so the two of you could head down to the law firm to finalize paperwork to simply helping organize all of the materials that had been used between both of your rooms to help lessen the ‘organized chaos’.

You remember asking Janine if she would stand there with you- because you wouldn’t have been able to make it through a lot of this without her entertaining your little girl. And of course, Barbara was asked to stand right alongside your soon-to-be wife when the day comes. Both women cried tears of joy as they launched themselves into your arms. Ellie, not wanting to be left out of the hugs, makes her way in and giggles.

You also remember asking the custodian of the school to be the one who marries you. He too had cried tears of joy and promised that he would do the two of you good. Although he was curious as to why you would ask him.

“You’re a part of Abbott too,” you told him quietly, hugging him tightly. “You’re part of the story too.”

And now, here you are standing in front of your family, Melissa’s family, and the rest of the Abbott crew while Mr. Johnson of all people marries the two of you. For a small affair, Ellie had begged you to do as much of a traditional wedding as possible. So, Melissa is standing up at the makeshift alter with Mr. Johnson as you hover over by one of the trees planted in the backyard just out of sight. Ellie is given the silent signal from your fiancée to start walking, and she giggles with glee as she twirls around and throws white rose petals into the yard. When she makes her way to Melissa, the little girl all but grabs her in a hug, forcing her to bend down and return it. With the way that everyone lets out a small, ‘aw’, your daughter hams it up and kisses Melissa’s cheek for good measure before taking her seat next to your mother and Melissa’s grandmother. 

When Mr. Johnson hits play on his phone connected to the speaker and your music comes on, you turn away from the tree and make your way over to the ‘aisle’. Your breath catches in your chest as you glance at Melissa for the first time today. She looks… stunning. Her hair is perfectly curled, her makeup is done with precision and care, and she looks absolutely amazing in the white pantsuit that her and Barbara had slaved away at to make sure it fit just right. 

Melissa’s mouth quite literally drops open at the sight of you. Tears instantly well in her eyes as she sees how… how perfect you look. You had opted for a white satin dress that you had found on Amazon to cut the costs, and Nonna herself had altered it so that it sat on your shoulders beautifully, the slightest cowl neck hanging just low enough to show off a bit of cleavage. Your hair is down with the softest braided headband to keep the flyaways away, and you smile softly at her. She nods, and you begin walking down with your father, who is an absolute blubbering mess despite already having done this once for you. He gives you away before engulfing the redhead in a hug. He whispers something in her ear, and she just nods gently before kissing his cheek. Your flowers are taken from your hand and given to Ellie, who was delighted when she found out that she would have the duty of holding onto your little bouquet for the ceremony.

You don’t remember much of Mr. Johnson’s opening remarks because you’re too distracted holding onto Melissa’s shaking hands in your own and looking into eyes that match the grass beneath you. It doesn’t much matter though, because Gerald has been given the job of recording everything for the two of you as a wedding gift.

What breaks you out of your trance is the custodian announcing that the two of you have written your own vows. You nod, and Barbara hands you the paper that you gave her to hold onto. 

“I- wow,” you whisper as you take her hand again, the other holding the paper with your script on it. You turn to the small group gathered around. “For those of you who don’t know… Melissa and I didn’t actually meet at the school. No, we met after I flew across the country with nothing on my back but a backpack filled with clothes and toys for my daughter while we figured out what we were going to do away from Utah. A month into living with my parents, I was able to find an apartment that would be suitable for me and my little girl, and a week into living there… I met this one- or rather, I saw her. She was coming out of the apartment complex to get into her car, and I was trying to corral Ellie back into the bike trailer to get some dinner. Of course, little girl just had to throw a fit, one that Melissa witnessed.”

“Oopsies!” Ellie giggles, forcing a laugh from everyone in the audience.

“I was beyond embarrassed.” You turn to face your future wife again. “I probably looked like a terrible mother, stressed beyond all belief. And then… you came and knocked on my door, telling me that I looked real stressed and asking if I needed any help. Since then, you have been there for not only me, but for my little girl- soon-to-be our little girl. In the midst of all of my own drama and messiness, I gained a job, a friend, and then I fell for you, and I’m happy to say that I think you fell for me too?” That gets a chuckle out of everyone, including the woman standing in front of you. She nods warmly. “I could not be more grateful for the love and life that you have shown me; walks in the park, a warm home cooked meal on a good day or a bowl of soup when I’m down; flowers just to say ‘I love you’. You have always been there for me through the happy moments and also the moments of insecurity when it came to raising Ellie or a day at work, and I promise you that I will always be here for you- no matter what. Through the good times and the bad, thick and thin- and we’ve had plenty of both, I will spend the rest of my days proving to you that you, and Ellie, are all I could ever need. I will always be here… right by your side, loving you, even if it means that I have to be the one to rescue the stink bugs and take them out of the house.”

The redhead wipes her tears away from her face as she lets go of your hand to grab the paper that she had written on from her jacket pocket.

“Everyone here knows that I wasn’t too keen on getting married a second time,” she starts. “And I was hellbent on keeping that promise to myself, to keep my heart guarded and safe, until I met you and threw everything I knew out the window.”

Mr. Johnson nods his head in agreement, getting a laugh from those who were not standing on the little platform.

“I knew what I was getting into when I realized that I had feelings for you… that there would be times of uncertainty and doubt- times where things got messy, and surely they have,” she awkwardly chuckles. “But I also knew that I was always going to be second in your life… always trailing behind little miss Ellie girl.”

The little girl grins up at the two of you, with wide eyes.

“And second place is not a place that I would usually prefer, but I think I can handle it if it’s to the perfect daughter that you’ve raised and that I now get to help raise. I love you, and I love Ellie more than I ever thought I was capable of. I’ve cherished the good times, loved supporting you and loving you through the bad, and adored every other little moment in between. It has been my absolute honor getting to fall in love with you, and I only continue to fall more in love with you everyday. Everyday, you show me something new that not only surprises me, but gets me to fall that much deeper in love with you. And I know that you will only continue to surprise me and bring an abundance of life and love into my own life, and for that I am eternally grateful to you.”

She reaches up to gently wipe the tear that’s trailing down your face before smiling at you softly.

“Thank you,” you whisper.

“I’m not done,” she smirks at you. She turns to Ellie and waves her up. The little girl looks confused, but she follows the order of her mother. You lift your daughter up to your hip and hold her there as you wait for Melissa to start again.

“I knew that marrying you also meant that I would be marrying into your little family, and I would have to step up and be a second parental figure to Ellie… so I want to make these vows to both of you.”

Ellie clutches at the necklace that the redhead gave to her when she asked if she could formally adopt her, tears already starting to pour down her face, with the biggest smile you think you’ve ever seen.

“I promise to love and support you both through thick and thin. I promise to make spaghetti when Ellie wants it, and to make you chicken noodle soup whenever you aren’t feeling well. I promise that I will always be here to help you through all of your doubts and fears, and I will always be there to celebrate the highs. We’ve been through it all at this point: from the start of our relationship, to celebrating birthdays and milestones at work, to right now. We’ve gotten through this much, and no matter what happens from here on out, I promise to be by your sides, loving you through it all. I promise you, that I will love the people that you become just as much as I love the people that you are today.”

You reach a hand up to wipe at the tears that are now hitting your chest in rapid succession from your little girl as she reaches for Melissa to hold her instead. The redhead of course takes Ellie into her arms, holding her tightly.

“I love you, little girl,” the second grade teacher whispers as she kisses your daughter’s cheeks.

“I love you too, Mommy,” Ellie chokes out.

Then her eyes meet your own. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Then you look to your little girl. “Alright, love bug. Go take your seat so Mom and I can officially get married.”

She squeezes Melissa tightly before letting her go. Then she squeezes you before rushing back to her seat in between your mother and Nonna.

Mr. Johnson says a few more things before he finally announces that the two of you are wife and wife, and then Melissa is dipping you and kissing you with passion. Your crowd hoots and hollers as they celebrate the fact that you’re now married and are a Schemmenti now.

The reception is really just a free for all at the Howard residence, everyone milling about and enjoying the various foods that the Schemmenti ladies had insisted on preparing for you all- their form of a wedding gift to the two of you. Kristen Marie even came and brought the cake from the bakery that she knows you absolutely adore. It’s beautiful, and it tastes even better than it looks.

“Know that if Mel was marrying anyone else,” the blonde tells you lowly. “I woulda brought a shit store-bought cake and laughed. But it’s you, and I know Ma and Nonna would kick my ass if I fucked up today for you and Ellie.”

You just laugh. “Kristen Marie, when are you going to just admit the fact that you love Mel.”

“Never.”

The party goes well into the night, but after a bit, Ellie is exhausted. The Howards have graciously told you that they would take your daughter in for the night, and once you get her settled in the guest room, you and your wife join the party again. It doesn’t last much longer, the older folk heading home for a decent night’s rest, and the younger finding their way out to allow you and your new wife to have a night together. 

After helping clean up (despite the Howard protests), you too head out for your own home with promises that you’ll be back to pick up your daughter in the morning.

As soon as you make your way to the threshold, Melissa sweeps you into your arms with a chuckle, and she carries you through the front door. You giggle the entire time, and the next thing you know, you’re in bed seeing stars.

As you’re laying down in bed that night, Melissa pulls you in close. “Goodnight, my beautiful wife… Mrs. Schemmenti.”

Yeah… that feels right.

TAGS: @schemmentis @thesapphictimelady @itisdoctortoyousir @morgana-larkin @thesamesweetie @doesthatsuggestanythingtoyou @marvels--slut @gwennybriggs @megamultifandomtrashposts @lemz378 @http-sam @melissaschemmentisbranzino @imaginesmultifandoms @sexysapphicshopowner @lilfartbox1 @maybe-a-humanbean @imlike-so-gaydude @sapphicxrat @a-queen-and-her-throne @sunsol-22 @notinmyvocab @melanielaufeyson @dvrkhcld

[sirfrogsworth]

I just signed up for 50% off Amazon Prime. You just need to prove you are on government assistance to qualify. So EBT, SSI, Medicaid, etc.

I would put a link, but now that I signed up, the link doesn't work for me. But if you google "50% off Prime EBT" it should take you there.

Just a warning, the webpage was really buggy for me and I had to hit the button several times to get it working. I think at one point I had to refresh the page after hitting the button. I don't know, maybe that was just an error with my particular browser.

Also, I thought it would take a while for them to verify, but I uploaded my current award letter from SSI and it immediately approved me. So either they have some kind of way of instantly authenticating or they just give you the discount without really checking.

[contemplatingoutlander]

Amazon’s Alexa has been claiming the 2020 election was stolen

The popular voice assistant says the 2020 race was stolen, even as parent company Amazon promotes the tool as a reliable election news source -- foreshadowing a new information battleground

This is a scary WaPo article by Cat Zakrzewski about how big tech is allowing AI to get information from dubious sources. Consequently, it is contributing to the lies and disinformation that exist in today's current political climate.

Even the normally banal but ubiquitous (and not yet AI supercharged) Alexa is prone to pick up and recite political disinformation. Here are some excerpts from the article [color emphasis added]:

Amid concerns the rise of artificial intelligence will supercharge the spread of misinformation comes a wild fabrication from a more prosaic source: Amazon’s Alexa, which declared that the 2020 presidential election was stolen. Asked about fraud in the race — in which President Biden defeated former president Donald Trump with 306 electoral college votes — the popular voice assistant said it was “stolen by a massive amount of election fraud,” citing Rumble, a video-streaming service favored by conservatives.

The 2020 races were “notorious for many incidents of irregularities and indications pointing to electoral fraud taking place in major metro centers,” according to Alexa, referencing Substack, a subscription newsletter service. Alexa contended that Trump won Pennsylvania, citing “an Alexa answers contributor.”

Multiple investigations into the 2020 election have revealed no evidence of fraud, and Trump faces federal criminal charges connected to his efforts to overturn the election. Yet Alexa disseminates misinformation about the race, even as parent company Amazon promotes the tool as a reliable election news source to more than 70 million estimated users. [...] Developers “often think that they have to give a balanced viewpoint and they do this by alternating between pulling sources from right and left, thinking this is going to give balance,” [Prof. Meredith] Broussard said. “The most popular sources on the left and right vary dramatically in quality.” Such attempts can be fraught. Earlier this week, the media company the Messenger announced a new partnership with AI company Seekr to “eliminate bias” in the news. Yet Seekr’s website characterizes some articles from the pro-Trump news network One America News as “center” and as having “very high” reliability. Meanwhile, several articles from the Associated Press were rated “very low.” [...] Yet despite a growing clamor in Congress to respond to the threat AI poses to elections, much of the attention has fixated on deepfakes. However, [attorney Jacob] Glick warned Alexa and AI-powered systems could “potentially double down on the damage that’s been done.” “If you have AI models drawing from an internet that is filled with platforms that don’t care about the preservation of democracy … you’re going to get information that includes really dangerous undercurrents,” he said. [color emphasis added]

[jerzwriter]

Thank you to @alj4890 for this ask from this list! I loved this, and I'm working on your other two now. No need to apologize, dear, how much have I been bugging you in your inbox! lol

Stranded...

Book: Open Heart (Book 2 Timeline) Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x Kaycee MacClennan (F!MC) Trope: There's only one bed... Rating: Teen Words: 1,600 Summary: If someone were to ask Ethan or Kaycee how they were getting on during the months following his return from the Amazon they would have used words like civil. Professional. On the best days, perhaps even friends. But how when their trip home from a rural Massachusets hospital goes awry, how will that change?

Participating in @choicesjunechallenge2024 - dialogue prompts are bolded in black in the text (so as not to spoil).

Ask list based on prompts from @creativepromptsforwriting - thank you for the wonderful ideas! The 2 prompts are bolded in purple within the text.

My Complete Masterlist Ethan x Kaycee Masterlist | Open Heart Masterlist

“Well,” Ethan turned back with a half-smile. “At least there aren't any rodents.”

Kaycee rolled her eyes. He insisted on entering the desolate, little cabin first despite being injured. As much as she wanted to argue that if an armed bandit were squatting in their dingy overnight rental, she was in far better condition to handle it than he was, she knew the argument would be futile. Besides, there had been more than a few moments in the past year when she would have been delighted to give the bandit the first shot at Dr. Ramsey. Perhaps this was her chance?

She pushed past him and stepped into the one-room retreat, but it wasn’t as bad as she had expected. Rugged? Yes? Sparce? Without question. But it was neat, clean, and tidy... three of the things Dr. MacClennan valued most of all.

“This isn’t bad.” She opened a small cabinet and smiled; the innkeeper down the road hadn’t lied; there were some treats to be had, and her rumbling stomach couldn’t have been more grateful.

Ripping open a package of Thin Mint cookies, she shoved a few in her mouth and tossed the box Ethan’s way.

“Here,” she smiled when he just barely caught them. “We can’t complain; we’re lucky we found a place at all.”

Ethan did his best to hide his delight as the chocolaty-mint cookies crumbled in his mouth – normally, he’d have a wellness routine to stick to, but right now, this decadent callback to his childhood was just what he needed.

“I still say we could have stayed in my car just fine.”

“Seriously,” Kaycee groaned. “It’s below freezing out there! Not to mention snowing and pitch black. If we hadn’t frozen to death, I’m sure another vehicle would have barreled into us, which may have been a more merciful ending, now that I think of it.”

Ethan turned to her with a huff. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re overdramatic?”

“I don’t know,” Kaycee grinned. “Has anyone told you you should listen when your passenger says it’s best to get gas before you leave civilization?”

He couldn’t decide if he found the smirk on her face more infuriating or alluring, but he knew one thing for sure... she was right on this one.

“I’m sorry. I should have stopped at that Shell station by the hospital.”

The doctors had been summoned to a small hospital in the town of Alford, part of the Edenbrook Rural Medicine program. The director was grateful for their assistance and offered to put them up overnight, but both were eager to return to Boston and saw no reason to delay the long drive. Five hours later, they both realized that hadn't been their best decision.

“Oh, but you have a Citgo credit card, and you get bonus points when you fill up with it. It guarantees you discounts on the Red Sox games, so why would you want to fill up at a Shell before driving onto desolate mountain roads?”

Ethan let out a deep sigh, causing him to wince, before asking Kaycee if she was finished. Noting the pain in his eye, the younger doctor decided to dial her wiseassery back, just a bit.

“Ethan, why don’t you let me examine you. You took quite a fall on that ice...”

“I’m fine. I just twisted my ankle."

“If it’s just your ankle, why did you just wince when you took in a breath?”

He looked at her tenderly as he sat in one of the two wooden chairs next to the smallest table Kaycee had ever seen.

“I’m fine,” he insisted.

Kaycee brought over the rest of the haul from the cabinet, two bottles of water, a box of Cheez-Its, and two granola bars for good measure.

“It’s not much,” she shrugged, “But it will get us through until the morning. There’s a small coffee pot, too...”

“Don’t you dare!” He bellowed. “I can only imagine how horrendous that swill would be! We can make do with the water.”

“Tsk, tsk, tsk,” Kaycee chuckled. “Even in these dire straits, you’re still a coffee snob! What are you going to do next? Complain that the cabin doesn’t offer Puccini on surround sound? No quality Scotch on the sideboard?”

He smiled despite himself; he had to admire a woman who knew how to push his every button. Even when she was a colossal pain in the ass.

“No, wiseass! But there is one problem with our accommodation that you might even find complaint-worthy.”

“Nope,” she said, wiping Cheez-It dust from her lips. “See, I’m a grown-up. Desperate times, desperate measures... I’m just grateful we’re here.”

“Mmm-hmm,” Ethan nodded. “Then I guess you haven’t noticed...that.”

He gestured to his left and watched as Kaycee’s face fell. There it was, the sole piece of furniture beside the small table and chairs where they sat, one full-sized mattress nestled between the walls, making it appear even smaller. While Kaycee’s mood dampened, Ethan’s was beginning to perk up when he saw the look of horror on her face.

“Oh, fuck...”  she grimaced.

“What?” He teased. “You’re a grown-up, and desperate times call for desperate measures and all that.”

Kaycee’s mouth went dry, and the two bottles of water they had for the night were going to do nothing to remedy that. She swallowed hard but refused to look Ethan in the eye. “This isn’t funny!” she insisted.

“Do you hear me laughing?”

She turned to him with fire in her eyes.

“Look, it’s fine,” he demurred. “I’ll sleep on the floor.”

“On the cold, wooden floor? I don’t even think we have another blanket to put atop it?”

“I was a Boy Scout; I’ll survive.”

“Were you nearly forty and injured during your Boy Scout days, Dr. Ramsey,” she sighed. “Look, you take the bed; I’ll take the floor.”

Ethan shook his head; the thought of her shivering on a cold, hard floor was not something he could bear.

“I won’t have it. Why don’t we just share the bed? I promise I’ll stay on my side.”

She looked at the offensive object. It was smaller than her bed back in her room in Boston, and that was pretty small. If they were to share it, it didn’t seem like they’d be getting their own ‘side.’

“I... I don’t know,” she muttered without realizing she said the words.

“Kaycee, we have to be practical. Besides, it’s not like we haven’t slept together before.”

His words hadn’t even hit her ears when he wished he could take them back. He was prepared for the anger in her eyes when they fixed on his – he deserved that – but he wasn't ready to see the pain.

“I know,” she said with a fragile voice, but then the vexation returned. “Twice, in fact. But I have to ask if we make it a third, what far-off land will you need to run off to once we get back to Boston? Considering the Amazon’s already been done.”

“Kaycee,” he said grabbing for her hand, but while there weren’t many places to go in the tiny cabin, she managed to get to the spot furtherst from him in an instant.

“I’m sorry," he said. "That was insensitive of me."

He watched her silhouette in the moonlight as she gazed out the window, rubbing her temples as she grimaced in what he hoped wasn’t pain.

“No, it’s fine,” she replied quickly. “There is no reason for us to make things worse than they are. We can share the bed tonight, it only makes sense. We’re grown-ups. We’re professionals. We can do this.”

“Are... are you sure?”

“Do you have a better solution?” she spat. “But this time, my clothes are staying on.”

"Kaycee," He said, viscerally reaching for her hand, the feel of his touch having a more profound effect than either had anticipated. “I hope you don’t think I expected otherwise.”

She smiled softly, unsure of whether she was relieved, or sad, at his response. “I know...," she whispered, hopping onto the bed. "Let's... let's just go to sleep."

Despite the turmoil, sleep came quickly for Kaycee who was simply exhausted from their day. But the same wasn't true for Ethan. He

Sleep came quicker for Kaycee, who had been exhausted from their day, but Ethan wasn’t as fortunate, he dared not shift in the bed since there was little place for him to go, the slightest shift would feel like an invasion of her space. But the reality was, they had no personal space tonight, and as he felt the heat emanating from her body, he couldn’t help but recall the last time they had been this close, and how many times he had dreamed of it since. He let out a deep sigh. Every time he told himself he was over her, he knew he was lying to himself. But never had it been more difficult to maintain that lie than it was tonight.

But sleep finally did come, and despite the circumstances, it was deeper than he expected, neither waking until the birds chirping near the window became too loud to ignore.

Ethan was the first to open his eyes; the first to endure the inexplicable joy and pain of feeling her hand lying delicately on his hip. He knew it was unintentional, but he pretended to be asleep so he could continue to feel it as long as he could.

When Kaycee woke, she was grateful to see Ethan was still "asleep". She quickly retreated her hand before he was any wiser. Clearing her throat loudly, she rolled onto her side.

“Good morning,” he mumbled groggily.

“Good morning,” she smiled. “Did you manage to get any sleep?”

Ethan rolled over to face her, their faces only inches away.

“Believe it or not, I did. I slept quite well once I managed to fall asleep."

“As did I,” she smiled, and the twinkle in Ethan's eyes grew ever brighter.

“I’m glad to hear that.”

They lay quietly, the sounds of nature and a distant snow plow surrounded them. Not wanting the moment to end, neither made a move.

“Well," Ethan eventually droned. "I suppose we should head out. After we find gas, we can look for someplace to get a proper breakfast.”

He was almost out of bed when Kaycee grabbed his hand. "Ethan, wait. Can we delay getting up a few more minutes, please? I know the real world is waiting for us just outside that door, so can we.... please...."

She didn't have to finish her thoughts, he knew exactly what she was feeling.

"Of course," he smiled, pulling back the covers and slipping back underneath as Kaycee trepidatiously moved closer until her head was on his shoulder. A warm smile came to his lips as he encircled her in his arms, holding her close to him.

They closed their eyes, reveling in the warmth and tenderness that only being this close to each other seemed to deliver. Their dreams had become a reality, even if only for a short time.

"Ethan?" she whispered cautiously.

"Yes?"

"Is this a beginning, or an ending?"

His lips descended onto her forehead, and for a moment all was right in the world.

"I think we're somewhere in between," he replied, as she placed a hand on his chest.

"I'll take that," she whispered. "At least, for now."

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

Tagging others separately

[morlock-holmes]

What objections would you actually accept to AI?

Roughly in order of urgency, at least in my opinion:

Problem 1: Curation

The large tech monopolies have essentially abandoned curation and are raking in the dough by monetizing the process of showing you crap you don't want.

The YouTube content farm; the Steam asset flip; SEO spam; drop-shipped crap on Etsy and Amazon.

AI makes these pernicious, user hostile practices even easier.

Problem 2: Economic disruption

This has a bunch of aspects, but key to me is that *all* automation threatens people who have built a living on doing work. If previously difficult, high skill work suddenly becomes low skill, this is economically threatening to the high skill workers. Key to me is that this is true of *all* work, independent of whether the work is drudgery or deeply fulfilling. Go automate an Amazon fulfillment center and the employees will not be thanking you.

There's also just the general threat of existing relationships not accounting for AI, in terms of, like, residuals or whatever.

Problem 3: Opacity

Basically all these AI products are extremely opaque. The companies building them are not at all transparent about the source of their data, how it is used, or how their tools work. Because they view the tools as things they own whose outputs reflect on their company, they mess with the outputs in order to attempt to ensure that the outputs don't reflect badly on their company.

These processes are opaque and not communicated clearly or accurately to end users; in fact, because AI text tools hallucinate, they will happily give you *fake* error messages if you ask why they returned an error.

There's been allegations that Mid journey and Open AI don't comply with European data protection laws, as well.

There is something that does bother me, too, about the use of big data as a profit center. I don't think it's a copyright or theft issue, but it is a fact that these companies are using public data to make a lot of money while being extremely closed off about how exactly they do that. I'm not a huge fan of the closed source model for this stuff when it is so heavily dependent on public data.

Problem 4: Environmental maybe? Related to problem 3, it's just not too clear what kind of impact all this AI stuff is having in terms of power costs. Honestly it all kind of does something, so I'm not hugely concerned, but I do kind of privately think that in the not too distant future a lot of these companies will stop spending money on enormous server farms just so that internet randos can try to get Chat-GPT to write porn.

Problem 5: They kind of don't work

Text programs frequently make stuff up. Actually, a friend pointed out to me that, in pulp scifi, robots will often say something like, "There is an 80% chance the guards will spot you!"

If you point one of those AI assistants at something, and ask them what it is, a lot of times they just confidently say the wrong thing. This same friend pointed out that, under the hood, the image recognition software is working with probabilities. But I saw lots of videos of the Rabbit AI assistant thing confidently being completely wrong about what it was looking at.

Chat-GPT hallucinates. Image generators are unable to consistently produce the same character and it's actually pretty difficult and unintuitive to produce a specific image, rather than a generic one.

This may be fixed in the near future or it might not, I have no idea.

Problem 6: Kinetic sameness.

One of the subtle changes of the last century is that more and more of what we do in life is look at a screen, while either sitting or standing, and making a series of small hand gestures. The process of writing, of producing an image, of getting from place to place are converging on a single physical act. As Marshall Macluhan pointed out, driving a car is very similar to watching TV, and making a movie is now very similar, as a set of physical movements, to watching one.

There is something vaguely unsatisfying about this.

Related, perhaps only in the sense of being extremely vague, is a sense that we may soon be mediating all, or at least many, of our conversations through AI tools. Have it punch up that email when you're too tired to write clearly. There is something I find disturbing about the idea of communication being constantly edited and punched up by a series of unrelated middlemen, *especially* in the current climate, where said middlemen are large impersonal monopolies who are dedicated to opaque, user hostile practices.

Given all of the above, it is baffling and sometimes infuriating to me that the two most popular arguments against AI boil down to "Transformative works are theft and we need to restrict fair use even more!" and "It's bad to use technology to make art, technology is only for boring things!"

[ape-apocalypse]

can you reccomend some of the documentaries you watched about apes?

Funny enough, I've been planning on making a list of documentaries so thanks for the push! I’ve watched a bunch to hype up for Kingdom and I’ll keep watching as we wait for POTA news. These are what I've been able to find with my various subscription services and internet access in the USA so their availability may vary for you. Also a warning that, due to these being non-fiction documentaries there is very real footage of animal injuries and death (from both humans and natural circumstances).

Monkey Business (Amazon Prime) - A long running show (9 seasons) about a primate rescue center in the UK. I really loved this one because you got to follow apes of the course of years. I even cried when one ape who had been there from the first season passed away in the final season. The show mostly focuses on chimps and orangutans but also features lemurs, woolly monkeys, gibbons and other species. The center focuses on giving the animals in their care the most natural life they can in captivity, and also assists in breeding programs for several endangered species. Jane Goodall even comes out in one episode to present them with an award for excellent enclosure construction. The theme song is very loud and distinctive, the point that my roommate asked how long this series was because she could hear the theme song coming from my room for weeks as I went through all 9 seasons. Highly recommend this one because the personalities of the apes really stand out when you spend literal years with them; it's worth the time commitment, I loved it.

(Also in making sure I had all the details about this show right, I learned there was a follow up show called Monkey Life that featured Andy Serkis himself narrating the first season and they seem to all be available on YouTube for free so I have a new multi-season show to watch now, thank you!!!)

Orangutan Jungle School (YouTube) - Rescue group dedicated to teaching young orangutans how to survive in the wild so they can be released when they're older. Only the first two episodes of this show are available on YouTube for free but I also devoured any clips I could find. I found this show particularly hilarious because the baby orangs are adorable. They cry when they don't get their cups of milk fast enough or when they can't figure out how to crack into a coconut. I always see adult orangutans as slow moving, so the activity and demanding personalities of the babies delighted me. If nothing else, watch these two clips because I have watched the clips of the babies screaming and the humans overreacting to fake snakes on repeat for ages.

Chimp Empire (Netflix) - Two chimpanzee groups in Uganda's Ngogo forest face off over territory and food, while each group faces their own struggles from within. This one is about wild chimps and it is fascinating to see their natural ways outside of rescue centers. The cinematography is gorgeous; I'd love to know how they got all these shots without disturbing the chimps. It's only 4 episodes; I wish it was longer but it packs a lot into its short run time.

Meet The Chimps (Disney+) - A one season show focusing on chimps living in a rescue center in Louisiana. A single season show so you don't get a lot of time with the chimps but it's got a much smaller number of chimps to get to know than Monkey Business. Also the troops are housed near each other so it's interested to see the dominance displays, even through a fence. My favorite part was near the end with the mystery of who was the father of an accidental baby. I guessed wrong!

Kingdom Of The Apes: Battle Lines (Disney+) - Two separate ape groups, one of chimps and the other of gorillas, sort out fights for dominance and leadership of the troop in their own ways. Personally I didn't like this one. Jumping back and forth between gorillas and chimps in a documentary less than an hour didn't leave me very invested, but I thought I'd add it if anyone was interested.

I'll throw in a couple podcasts too, should be free on your preferred podcast app:

Ologies, one episode on primatology and a separate episode on gorillaology

National Park After Dark, a two-part episode on the life, work, and murder of Dian Fossey, a primatologist who worked with gorillas and wrote the book 'Gorillas In the Mist'

The Wild With Chris Morgan, an episode on orangutans called People Of The Forest

There are a lot more documentaries I want to watch, especially several for free on YouTube. I hope this list is of interest to you and I welcome recommendations from anyone else.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 2/27/2024

this is the longest ive ever been unemployed and media is only doing so much to beat back the horrors. so let’s talk about the media instead of the horrors

listening

Come Up For Air by We The Commas, off i think one of the autogenerated spotify indie mixes?

sort of a rollicking modern little surf rock thing, they describe themselves as "surf and alternate rhythm and blue" which is pretty bang on imo. they're all brothers (their last name genuinely is Comma, which i salute as a fellow weird last name haver), and cite john mayer (i don't really hear it) and the beach boys (yes i hear this very much) as some of their influences. a song i had on loop for an entire forty minute drive and did not get tired of. spotify

-

reading

three books that MUST go back to the library tomorrow bc their autorenew is up and i was emotionally unable to get a library card without tooling around and getting a stack of books a month ago.

thank you philip.

i really only liked the Carmilla adaptation by Amy Chu, bc it really gets at what i didn't realize was the heart of the original 1872 lesbian vampire novella: a toxic gay housing situation you have fallen into and can't get out of bc your area is so so so expensive and housing is so so so tenuous. i have read the original but not in a while, this is an excellent modern adaptation centering around a nyc social worker in the late seventies that presupposes no knowledge and intertwines the original novella in the form of a stolen rare book. (nonconsecutive pages)

i don't have much to say about the DC young adult comic about the circus career of one of the Robins (Dick Grayson). i didn't love the loose artstyle and am not in its intended age range plus it had a bit too much therapyspeak, but it did have a clever use of a very limited color palette.

let's yank the amazon description for the detective novel, which i grabbed bc it vaguely pinged something in my brain about one of the fallout 4 sidequests and i've picked books up for worse reasons (SPOILERS):

Jacob Rigolet, a soon-to-be former assistant to a wealthy art collector, looks up from his seat at an auction—his mother, former head librarian at the Halifax Free Library, is walking almost casually up the aisle. Before a stunned audience, she flings an open jar of black ink at master photographer Robert Capa’s “Death on a Leipzig Balcony.” Jacob’s police detective fiancée, Martha Crauchet, is assigned to the ensuing interrogation. 

i simply fucking hated this authorial style and tone and ditched it two chapters in. i don’t currently have the patience for reading about a clinically insane mother and hate crimes against Jewish people. despite the fairly dark premise, the first two chapters veer into cozy mystery with very short sentences, which do not a noir make. now, it does not advertise itself as noir or neo-noir, but as an homage to noir. it is for me unbearably smug. in my most unkind heart of hearts i want to say it's like if wes anderson tried to make a noir. this is a book that wants you to know it has read other noirs. yes thank you ive read several others, that’s why im reading this one, stop reminding me of better books i could be reading.

there's some weird descriptions of womens' bodies in here. chandler (my beloved) is certainly guilty of this as well, but he lavishes a sort of equal opportunity eye on the men in his mysteries. cf the infamous daniel lavery description.

when i read a chandler description of someone’s physical appearance there’s a fruity bisexual aftertaste in my mouth. Howard Norman, below, saying a woman takes great care of herself puts my hackles up. i understand the difference between an author and a character believing something and i don’t want to read a book where either the author or the character have this sort of pitying condescension towards a woman’s body. im feeling extremely terrible about my own body right now due to the various maladies, and another sort of breaking point for me is when an author repeatedly describes "naked breasts" (exact wording) pressing against someone's torso. it feels so juvenile. that's the sexiest thing you can possibly think of??? that's the sexiest way you can think of to describe an early mornign moment of intimacy???? augh i read the NYT review and it gets worse.

shut the FUCK up. i left my apartment at 1130 PM to go put this book in my CAR. i don't want it in my HOUSE.

-

watching

Bullitt (1968, dir. Yates, free on Tubi). the baddie in this is Robert Vaughn (who i know from cowboys), a guy i fucking love to see. i can take or leave Steve McQueen but he does such a killer job parallel parking in this movie and i wish all driving movies made their leads parallel park. shockingly realistic hospital, morgue, and police work scenes, apparently was one of the big films to popularize blood squibs. also love to see a haunted man splash water on his face and stare into a mirror.

if you asked me how long the famous car chase was i would have said like 2:30? substantial but snappy. no!!! eleven minutes!! (video a bit trimmed). also a rare movie that makes a foot chase through an airport as exciting as that eleven minute car chase!!!

the mob dodging plot was a little hard to follow, but i was operating on like four hours of sleep and a rum and coke. this has got to be a tremendous movie to watch when you’re home and sick on the couch huddled under a blanket. i mean this as a compliment, as someone who watches Escape from New York whenever i feel very sick

-

playing

really wanted to get to 69 shrines before writing this post and finally did it. all the little divine beasts walking along the loading screen are SO cute i've never gotten all four before

all the divine beasts are unlocked and the champions laid to rest! im feeling some type of way emotionally speaking about all of them telling link IMMEDIATELY that it wasn't his or zelda's fault they died

rudania has the worst boarding mission (in order of ones i most enjoyed it's camel [SO fast and SO fun], bird [lots of time to think and plan and aim], elephant [did not make me do a tedious stealth mission but i am bad at locking on to rapidly moving things behind me, much like in real life], and lizard. the lizard stealth mission is simply unpleasant). however, my brain really clicked with the puzzles in rudania: i had to consult a walkthrough once for an optional chest. in order of interior beast puzzle enjoyment for me it's lizard, bird, elephant, and camel. really got stuck for a long time on the waterwheels with the elephant before consulting a walkthrough.

the yiga clan stealth mission was not as hard as i thought it would be. i don't know why i put that off for two real life weeks but i will not learn my lesson and i will never improve. this boss battle was just silly.

the vah naboris interior puzzles were not fun. idk what it was about them or my brain that made me have such a bad time, but i spammed revali's gale and skipped a lot of chests bc i was not having fun. this is why god invented the walkthrough but sometimes. shit is just too fiddly.

i did succeed on the thunder ganon boss battle first try, but i came in with extra hearts from mipha's grace, used another mipha's grace in the fight, went through five fairies and seven hearty simmered fruits that were 5x durians (which gives you 20 extra hearts or some shit). fucking nightmare. i was stuck on one hit left on ganon for like five minutes bc he got stuck in the very fast flurry attack cycle. unpleasant. deeply grateful it only made me smack him with the magnesis pillar once bc that was also really fiddly with my poor reaction time + poor fine motor skills + previously mentioned ancient controller with some drift. in order of boss battle enjoyment i think it's lizard (made me think and kept me on my toes a little but i did have to look up how to break the shield), elephant (you can just kind of tank it), bird (same), and camel (extremely not fun).

this was WITH a fully upgraded gimp suit btw. that shit (ganon) just hits hard.

shrine shenanigans:

crowned beast very fun, i have one or two of kass' songs left and then i hope i get to see him back in rito village with his family??? a little nervous bc i went right to the jungle spring without hearing his song first so idk if that will. count??? or softlock me.

the MOUNDS of failed cooking attempts around this shrine on the grasslands side of the gerudo barrier mountains were SO funny.

unlocked all the spring shrines. what a fun mission. what a fun climb.

went to my FAVORITE shrine!!! going into what you think will be a normal cave and discovering it is DEEP with a BIG WHALE INSIDE is top three video game whale moments (the other two are diving with the whales in ABZU and meeting the last whale in the first dishonored).

other bits and bobs:

eggman rocks???

this quest was really cute and i wish there was a corresponding quest for the guy hanging around the broken heart pond, but it always makes me laugh whenever a dragon shows up in the background of a screenshot. a really great touching moment but watch out for the elemental orbs rapidly approaching us

also made me chortle. get it together barta.

i wish the helm was upgradable but i think making me kill a molduga in order to borrow it is a pretty fair trade actually.

-

making

i originally had a really long thing here about litterbox trials and tribulations but i have decided to spare you all. you're welcome.

many balcony improvements, including putting up trellises and installing bird spikes to hopefully keep a very persistent orange tom off my balcony and away from my girls.

there are a goofy number of obstacles in the way of me making a proper planting diagram (sketchbooks buried deep in closet. flung the seeds in a box on a shelf i need to find my stepstool for. can't find pencil sharpener) so for the second week in a row that's not happening. however, sprouts.

baby italian lettuce blend

bush beans in the front and cucumbers + sweet peas in the back.

[expansion-gts2]

The Host strut on stage for your favorite show. The statuesque blonde with a rack the size of pumpkins and an ass to match all wrapped up in a black dress that was an inch away from flashing her crotch on TV. She could only giggle and wave as her live audience cheered. "Hello my lovelies! Welcome to the best hidden camera gameshow on TV, Maximize!" As she said the name the crowd went nuts. "For those not in the know! My assistant Dave is out in the field all week setting up cameras in public spaces. Each is set up with a dart full of growth inducing goodness meant to turn your average girl into an absolute goddess!" Her audience cheers as previous contestants are shown on screen swelling, stretching, and growing. "Once it starts they have to run to the studio to get the pill to stop it or run out the clock. Some girls get here fast and end up my size, but some end up relaxing and letting it happen turning into huge 15ft amazons. What will today's contestant choose!" She yells as the hidden camera feed pops up on the big screen behind her

"oh a sunny beach side view for us today. And setting up next to Dave's hotdog cart is a stunning young woman. Normally Dave aims for girls a little more in need of the growth, but can he resist...nope" the host laughs as the girl rubs her neck where the thin sliver of growth serum hit. "Hmmm oh hey can I get a hotdog?" She asks walking up to Dave's cart shoving her bust up against the camera. The microphone didn't catch anything else as her boobs muffled everything. "Looks like she wants Dave's sausage" the host jokes to fill in air time. She then backs up. Audio returns "seriously? So if I make it to the studio I can stop growing?" Already she was starting to overflow her top and her hips were getting wider as her curves grew. "Hmmm guess I should....lay down and get a good tan!" The girl looked right into the camera and winks. "Enjoy everyone!" She said before wolfing down her hotdog and returning to her towel.

You watched with the rest of the late night TV audience as she grew. Her bikini top gave out first as she had doubled her bust and was still going. Now and then she gives little waves to the camera. The Host narrated now and then but mostly you only paid attention to the growth. Her muscles grew firm and defined, bust heaving and heavy. It had been a while since a girl simply chose to grow and you were painfully horny watching. "Thanks for the new lease on life" she said at one point just before her tree trunk thighs and ever widening hips snapped her bottoms. Still she didn't bother covering up as she neared nine feet tall. "Sadly that's all the time we have. But I have a feeling we will see that cutie next week for a post growth interview!" The hostess said as in the background the girl was walking towards Dave's stand. "Come here Dave, I need a different kind of hotdog!"

[gabessquishytum]

Hob's new girlfriend is a model. She hasn't hit it big or anything, but she's booked a few things the general public would have seen her in.

She has an upcoming lingerie shoot and she asked Hob to come with her - she's not overly worried, she has heard only good things about the shoot's photographer, D. Endless, but lingerie shoots are sometimes dodgy even with a good photographer. Even though they haven't been together for a long period of time, of course, Hob agrees to come with.

Hob had never been to a fashion photo shoot before, it was very cool -- all the hustle and bustle, and pretty clothes and people, it was amazing. Hob was trying to stay out of the way and just take it all in when this absolute Amazon of a woman, gorgeous and regal, sleek with two inches of height on Hob, just breathtaking, put a hand on his chest and in a captivating voice asked why he wasn't getting ready for the shoot, his hair and makeup should be done by now,,,,Hob opened his mouth to speak when an assistant?!? materialized from thin air and the woman shifted her hold to Hob's chin (she might have been caressing his chin cleft; Hob 😳) still staring but speaking to the assistant behind her about which of the setups she wants him in. Then she walks away.

Hob tries to tell the assistant, Matthew??, that he is not a model, and Matthew listens to him, but he says what Dream wants, Dream gets and proceeds to push Hob towards the shoots glam squad (he sees his girlfriend in passing but can't break away to talk to her). Hob is fluffed, burnished and made up --- they even style his chest hair (after Dream walked by heard they were taking about shaving it and told the squad it stays).

When Hob is finally out in front of the camera (in tiny briefs, looking hot[ter]), he sees his new obsession -- Queen Amazon, /Dream/ -- and says something to the effect of you do realize I am not a model, right.

Dream smirks and says but you clean up so well. Hob blushes. Again.

Dream puts her camera down and walks over, let me take a few shots, and you'll see....focus on me and it'll be easy....

so this is actually the story of how Hob Gadling got a new girlfriend and part time career.

YESSSS regal Queen photographer fem!Dream!!!!!! Wonderful, I love it.

The thing is, Hob is actually not very confident in his body. So being almost naked in front of a hot woman and a camera? Terrifying. Even so... Dream somehow puts him at ease. She tells the story of what she's trying convey in the photos, and Hob relaxes as he listens and tries to do what she wants from him. It ends up with Dream straddling his lap (she's so beautiful and statuesque, Hob nearly melts) and pointing the camera down at his crotch. The intensity and eroticism of the shoot, the closeness between their bodies... yeah, Hob is half hard and whimpering.

Apparently, that's what Dream likes in a man.

Hob spots his girlfriend somewhere along the line - she's standing on the other side of the huge warehouse studio, but their eyes meet. A moment of understanding passes between them, and although she looks upset, she also seems to understand. She's a free spirit artsy type too. As long as Hob sticks around for the rest of the shoot like he promised, she's happy to move on.

Dream eventually finishes with Hob and pats him gently on the head, instructing him to stick around while she finishes working. Hob does as he's told (and puts on some clothes). He has a feeling that he's going to trail around after this woman for the rest of his life. He can hardly wait.

She lets him eat her out on the couch they just used for the shoot, when everyone else has gone home. And she uses his face like it's her throne. She tells him that she can't wait to take pictures of him like this: blissful and high on her pleasure. Those pictures will be for her eyes only.

Hob is just praying that if this is a dream, he'll never have to wake up...

[kijosakka]

ASSISTANT NOAH AU: How would Alejandro react to Assistant Noah mocking him for losing the Egyptian Challenge, because the Charmer decided to be a gentleman/simp for Heather's Team? 😏

seeing as reasonably, because of confessionals (and total drama dirtbags as a Thing), noah would know what alejandro is going about, i can see it.

especially since that he is just ‘the antagonist’ — he hasn’t done anything overt to make noah dislike him (unlike later when his opinion would be influenced by alejandro’s distaste for owen) — noah is more inclined to have a neutral-to-positive perception of him;

unless/depending on this AU’s route and specific characterizations you wanted something more along the lines of noah reveling in the scheming alejandro does, or even having a negative perception of him right off the bat from the dirtbag interviews,, potential, potential, it’s an AU and you see my point.

so noah ribs him about it, no too major feelings about it at the moment — and on alejandros end, i’d imagine his reaction may be. quite dull?

noah is part of the crew, and therefore is not a threat to him in the competition, but alejandro may see any reciprocation or gloating of his motivations as a paper trail (which would be inadvertently reinforced when he becomes aware of the favoritism that noah shows owen later), so i can see him going on about ‘gentlemans code’ or whatever.

however, i do think noah would call him out — and probably get called over to Do His Job right after; ergo, sparking interest on alejandro’s end

^ perhaps not so much of that noah knows, but that he bothers to call it out despite not being in a kind of position that directly affects the show and it’s outcome (you could argue here that showing favoritism to a contestant does that, but that’s mostly dependent on what the contestant chooses to do anyway)

this interest opening up potential interactions that overlap into when alejandro notices the favoritism towards owen (maybe around jamaica, noticed because of his injury? or maybe post-amazon because of the whole caterpillar thing) and by that either point alejandro’s distaste for owen would’ve become very clear.

^ and through those interactions, showcasing noahs altered opinions of alejandro because of his treatment of owen; conflicts!!

[waterlilyrose]

Can you write a one shot about Anthony learning how to make chai for Kate? Maybe she teaches him? Maybe he secretly learns to surprise her? Why does he have to learn it? Is it a surprise? Or necessity? ♥️

Anthony was on a mission. And when the head of the Bridgerton family had a mission, he saw it through to the very end. He should have the motto ‘Duty First; Self Second’ embroidered on his shirts according to Colin.

Whatever. He was going to do this.

He’d spent his lunch-breaks Googling the best technique and recipe. He’d ordered a book on beverages on Amazon. He’d even asked a local barista what the best method was (until the manager had approached him to explain that he was holding up the Starbucks queue and to please order something or leave). He was going to do it – he was determined.

He was going to make the most perfect cup of chai that Kate Sharma had ever tasted.

Most people in the office drank coffee. Whether it was just a quick cup in the morning to get them going or at least three iced lattes to stop them from shaking, most of the staff drank coffee.

Except Anthony.

Anthony knew that tea drinking was a pretty big part of British culture and also a staple of his mother’s continuous tea parties growing up, though now that the children were all more or less efficient at feeding themselves and probably wouldn't need immediate assistance, Violet had moved on to openly enjoying a rosé wine or six. The last time she had gone out ‘with the girls’, Anthony had been forced to perform a fireman’s lift to get her up the stairs to bed. But he digressed.

He’d grown up with Twinnings English Breakfast being a staple of his life. (Yes, he was aware that it was the poshest brand of tea bag but he was technically a viscount so no point pretending he wasn't already insanely privileged) Everything in life could be sorted out with tea, he'd learnt.

Lost your job? Have a cup of tea.

Lost your husband? Have a pot of tea.

Your house has burnt down? Have some herbal tea.

He didn't like coffee much. Coffee made you more active and Anthony already had the resting heart-rate of someone being actively hunted for sport. He didn't need a further stimulant. He'd had a can of Red Bull once and it hadn't gone well – Daphne had asked him to pop out for some cheese at the time and he'd ended up in Calais. So yeah, no more energy in a can or a cup for him.

Tea provided him with a sense of calm. And he needed that in the office. Being the director in chief didn't mean he got to sit at a fancy desk and do little more than inspect his fingernails. While people needed their lattes to keep them going, Anthony needed at least the illusion of feeling calmer.

There was only one other person in the office that drank tea too. And she was the one who had made Anthony want to win this (admittedly ridiculous) task.

Kate Sharma worked in his office. And drank tea too. But only chai and was vocal about her hatred of English tea.

"Pitiful!" Kate would often scoff whenever Anthony dared drink a cup in front of her or, heaven forbid, try to argue the virtues of his brand of tea. "Even with the tea bag left in, it is watery and weak. No spices at all!" He'd argued that Earl Grey had a kick if that was so important but she would cradle her cup of chai as though it was an argument that didn't even dignify a response. She only seemed to ‘enjoy’ British tea when she was in a meeting where executives offered her a drink and she needed to impress them to get funding or something. And Anthony was sure that he had seen her dump her cup of tea into the soil of a potted plant when their backs were turned.

Kate seemed to like disagreeing with him – and Anthony liked it too. He liked any scenario where Kate Sharma was paying attention to him even if it was to mock his drink of choice. He was supremely grateful that Agatha Danbury and his mother handled the recruitment side of things. The first time Anthony had ever set eyes on her across the office, he'd nearly dropped the stack of post he was flicking through. Even if Kate seemed to detest him by his reputation alone (he didn't know if he had Twitter or Benedict to thank for Miss Sharma finding out about his regrettable youth) he could never be accused of hiring her purely because she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen.

She was also the most aggravating woman he had ever met. Anthony couldn’t help but wonder if maybe his first (and failed) attempt of being charming had something to do with that. He was used to rejection. People might think that because he was the heir to a title he didn’t even need and the family had more money that they would ever likely spend that he had no problems getting exactly what he wanted (and yes, age and the frequent lectures of Eloise had made him grimly aware that he had it so much better than most) but him and rejection were old friends. Siena, his siblings, his mother – he'd tasted every course. They all tasted as bitter as poison. Yet somehow Kate Sharma's apparent distaste for him stung in a way that was new and rather more unpleasant. At least most people judged him on things he had actually done - Kate seemed to judge him purely by reputation. Shouldn't he at least get a chance to screw up with her personally? (He had no illusions that he would anyway.)

This resulted in them going head-to-head constantly and wanting to beat one another at every avenue. Most of the office was bloody sick of them. Margaret Goring tended to avoid approaching either of them if they were within five feet of each other and even Thomas Dorset', the office sweetheart according to Marina Thompson, had been forced to ask them once to bicker by the elevators because they were causing him a migraine. Anthony wondered why he seemed to want to do that when all he truly wanted, if he was being honest, was to make Kate light up and smile upon seeing him; not to make her scowl and grind her teeth. Even Lady Danbury seemed to find it a bit annoying even though their determination to be the best of the best (or at least better than each other) meant that they had enjoyed the most profitable quarter year ever. And maybe it was the pure and simple fact that he was learning to take what he could get – Kate was still paying him attention even if it was negative attention. If that was the best he could ever achieve, he’d take it.

Which led him to this absolutely ridiculous scenario – the task of making the best chai ever.

It wasn’t even a challenge posed to him by Kate or anyone really but Anthony was perfectly capable of taking things further than they needed to go just for the sake of ‘winning’ a non-existent problem. But they were alone in the staff kitchen one day (everyone else had made a beeline for the door as soon as they realised Anthony and Kate were in the same room) where Kate was nursing her cup of chai and making dismissive noises at the sight of Anthony making him a cup of English Breakfast tea.

“How does it affect you what I do or don’t drink?” Anthony snapped. “You hate me anyway – surely you won’t want me to experience nice things?”

“Everyone should experience perfect beverages. Even if that person can’t work the stove.”

“I can too!” Anthony argued back before wincing at how much like a teenager he sounds like – he sounded worryingly like Hyacinth when Gregory was annoying her.

“I’ll believe it when I taste it.” Kate declared and sauntered off before Anthony could stutter a reply (he might have got a bit distracted watching her bum move in her skirt as she left).

It was the equivalent of her throwing down a glove in challenge. She didn’t think he could – now he would. There was no greater motivator than spite.

He went grocery shopping after work and went straight to the aisles that specialised in spices. He didn’t own any spices (unless you counted the bag of granulated sugar in his cupboard) and now he was bulk-buying cinnamon, ginger and cloves.

The next two weeks were probably an ordeal for everyone in his life. He must have thrown away more cups of chai than his local coffee shop with every attempt. His kitchen was a disaster area – he’d learnt how to use the stove last year but he’d nearly caused a house fire at least six times.

Colin and Benedict wouldn’t visit Anthony’s place after a while because, every time they popped around, they were forced to sample the latest cup of chai. Sometimes it would result in up to ten different cups and that was rather a lot of caffeine.

And then… Anthony’s hand was forced before he was ready and also when he could put it off no longer.

It was a Wednesday when Kate came into the office and even Anthony could sense across the office that today was not the day to go toe-to-toe with her. She had an aura of ‘leave me alone’ that could be felt within a ten mile radius. Ironically, Anthony almost wanted to put himself in the line of fire to find out what was wrong – he could exasperate Kate to his heart’s content but no-one else could make her mad and even he would never want to make her genuinely sad. He may be an arsehole but he wasn’t cruel.

By three o’clock in the afternoon, Kate was banging on her work computer keyboard like Mozart playing his most aggressive piano piece. For once Anthony couldn’t be blamed either as he had been in meetings with Lady Danbury all day. Then Kate nearly has a full-on shouting match over the phone with a client (her arguments were valid and Berbrooke was a notorious prick anyway but still) and Anthony had to step in.

“Sharma. With me. Now.”

He rarely had to use his ‘boss voice’ or ‘eldest brother voice’ or god forbid ‘the pissed off viscount voice’ but it sometimes reaped results. It got Kate to follow him to the break room albeit with reluctance.

The break room consisted of the kitchen area and a few sofas to relax on as well as a television on the wall which nobody bothered to watch as they would rather scroll TikTok or the Instagrams of people they hated. Anthony closed the break room door behind them, shutting the world out for a time.

Kate was practically vibrating with stress and barely contained anger. She needed to calm down. There was only one thing to do when someone needed to calm down – tea.

“Sit down for a moment, Sharma. I’ll make you a drink.” And he went to the cupboard where his bag of ingredients was hidden. He had been planning to practise in his mother’s kitchen after work (okay, even Anthony could admit that this was probably getting a tiny bit out of hand) so he had what he needed.

He worked without rushing. Because rushing meant making a mistake and this had to be perfect.

Eventually the mug of chai was ready and he brought it to Kate who was sitting on the sofa. She must have been really going through it because she had been sitting in silence the entire time.

“Here you go. Drink this.” He handed the mug to her. Kate looked at the drink, recognising her signature drink. She looked at him with clear misgivings but took the drink and sipped.

There was silence and then Kate did something that scared Anthony to death – she burst into tears.

Fucking hell, Anthony knew he wasn’t the world’s best in the kitchen but surely it wasn’t that bad?

“Kate? What is it? Did I do something wrong-”

“It… it tastes like my Appa’s.” And she seemed to cry harder.

Anthony knew that Kate’s father was no longer with them and he had died when Kate had been the same age Anthony had been when his own father had died.

"Kate…" He slowly sat down on the sofa next to her. "Kate, what's wrong?"

Kate sniffed deeply. "Today… is my Appa's birthday."

And, just like that, Anthony understood. Edmund Bridgerton's own birthday was an ordeal for the family - a day where his father was meant to be celebrated and they tried but it was spent trying to comfort his weeping mother and trying to not break into tears all on his own. He was starting to hate the sight of paper crowns and he hated himself for feeling that way about the man who hadn't done anything wrong except die.

"It's rough, isn't it?" Anthony said lowly. "Trying to be strong and trying to remember him."

"Yes." Kate breathed as though unaccountably relieved that someone else got it. "My mama gets… she always gets like she used to on special occasions. And I want to comfort her but how? I can't magic him back, can I? And my sister wants to go on a date or something with this new boy she met in uni and it has to be tonight. And I want her to live her life but… why does she get to avoid the hard parts? And why is she acting like such a brat? She loved our Appa! She was his precious jewel." Tears fell down her cheeks again and Anthony put his hand on hers to squeeze it.

"Last year, during our father's birthday, Daphne went on a last minute break with Simon. I think it was a spa break or something because she'd been suffering sciatica late in her pregnancy with Augie and massages helped a lot. Mother said it was fine but I had to stay behind with her while Daphne got pampered and then something set her off and Mother cried most of the day. I know it was nothing to do with Daphne and not her fault at all but I was furious with her. I was… well, resentful that I had to deal with it all again and she didn't. Daphne thought I was just being an arse because I'd never been exactly thrilled with my best friend marrying her. That was a nasty month for all of us. I'm anticipating that Eloise will do exactly as your sister is doing pretty soon - I think they are the same age?"

"Eighteen. But thinks she's forty-five because she doesn't need me anymore." Kate sniffed.

"Yep, exactly the same as Eloise then. But trust me - you are only an adult when you admit you haven't got a clue what's going on and you sometimes want someone to hold you." Anthony rubbed his thumb over Kate's hand which remarkably she hadn't wrenched away. "I highly doubt that her behaviour reflects that she has completely gotten over your father. My siblings probably find me cold and nasty because I never ever talk about our dad and I miss him every minute of every day."

Kate sniffed and Anthony felt her squeezing his hand back. It made it feel like his heart was being squeezed too.

"Thank you. And thanks for the chai. It's really good."

Somehow the glory of having Kate admitting that she thought he'd done a good job didn't mean he wanted to bask in the victory - seeing her smile at him after he'd cheered her up was all the reward he ever wanted or desired.

"Oh it's nothing. Just… beginner's luck, I guess." He made a mental note to hide the shopping bag full of ingredients in his office later.