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featherymalignancy · 3 years

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How About a Hug, Hm? REMIX

So a few days ago I got this ask about my Elriel one-shot “How About A Hug?” because I messed up the formatting and I you basically have to to read it as a reblog. I also was really unsatisfied with the end result.

So, I did the most Feathery™️ thing every and REWROTE THE WHOLE GODDAMN THING.

Please enjoy, and know that I will go back and tag people/clean up formatting tomorrow. Right now I just need to post and 😴

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Elain Archeron was running late.

Granted, it was only by seven minutes, which—in many social circles—was still considered well within the accepted boundaries of punctuality.

The problem was that a) being late made Elain anxious, and b) there was absolutely nothing polite about Nesta Archeron when she was made to wait, even by her own kin.

Yet another reason it had been critical that Elain arrive on time: Nesta was already likely to be somewhat hacked off when she saw what Elain was wearing tonight, and Elain had hoped to avoid any further dramatics on her elder sister’s part.

She spent half the cab ride downtown trying to convince herself that it was fine that she’d borrowed something out of Nesta’s closet (even if it had been without permission) and that she hadn’t had a choice; she simply didn’t own anything appropriate for dinner at a four-star restaurant. However, by the time the cab slithered under Trump Tower’s unsavory shadow and into Hell’s Kitchen, she’d given up pretending.

The truth was she had half a dozen cocktail dresses that would have been perfectly suitable for dinner in the West Village, even if the place they were going was one of the nicest sushi restaurants in the city. No, Elain had raided Nesta’s closet for a far more embarrassing reason: she’d been in search of a dress she hoped might finally win her Azriel’s attention.

She wasn’t proud of the absurd crush she had on the guy, but it really couldn’t be helped. He was gorgeous, and smart, and darkly funny when he wanted to be, and she’d been secretly mooning over him since they’d met through Feyre’s fiancée three years ago. God, what she wouldn’t give to have him return even a fraction of her feelings.

Apparently not her dignity, Elain thought with a glance down at her neckline.

The worst part was that Azriel seemed oblivious to her interest in him. He was always polite to her, always made a point to talk to her when he caught her hiding out on the balcony during one of Feyre and Rhys’s crazy parties or sit next to her at their big family dinners, but he’d never once given her any indication that he was in any way that he reciprocated her feelings, which should have been reason enough for Elain to pack it in and stop harassing him.

And that was to say nothing of Mor.

Mor was the friend who’d first introduced Feyre and Rhys, and from what Elain could gather, she and Azriel had a long and complicated history. It didn’t seem to matter that Mor had been dating the same girl for over a year now. When she was in the room, Az’s eyes were always on her. Not that Elain blamed him—Mor was gorgeous in a way girls like her could only dream of being. Still, there was no denying the sting of watching the guy you were interested in pine over someone else.

Given all this, Elain wasn’t really sure why she’d gone to such lengths to dress up for this dinner. Mor would surely be there wearing something incredible and couture, thereby rendering everyone else invisible to Azriel. Still, Elain was a hopeless optimist, and she’d stubbornly sold herself on the idea that if she found the perfect dress, she could finally convince Azriel that she was a woman worthy of affection, rather than Nesta’s bookish, boring little sister.

She had to admit, there was nothing bookish about her tonight. The dress was tighter on her that it was her waifish sister, and dear god it deserved a Medal of Honor for the way it managed to keep her boobs looking so perky even without a bra. She didn’t suppose Nesta would be too happy about that bit, either, so she could only hope her sister was in a good mood by the time Elain arrived.

Just then Elain’s phone buzzed, and she looked down at it and groaned. It was from Nesta.

Where the 🤬 are you?

Running late, Elain quickly typed back. Is everyone waiting?

She watched the gray ellipsis pulse at Nesta responded.

Feyre and Rhys aren’t even fucking here yet. But hurry up, Cash is already driving me insane.

Elain rolled her eyes. She wasn’t sure who Nesta thought she was fooling when she and Elain shared a bedroom wall. Nesta and Cassian, Rhys’s other best friend, ended up banging almost every time they saw each other, which—since Rhys and Feyre had gotten engaged four months ago—was fairly frequently. In fact, Cash was at their apartment making Nesta scream so often that Elain had been forced to invest in earplugs and a sound machine. From Elain’s perspective, it seemed rather pointless of Nesta to pretend she wasn’t completely hot of a guy she called “Daddy” in bed.

Elain shuddered at the thought, hoping that Nesta would end up going to Cash and Az’s loft in Williamsburg tonight instead. Though, she realized glumly, they only ever seemed to go there when Azriel was out, and the only person who seemed able to keep Azriel out later than Cash was Mor. That meant Elain’s options were either to pop an Ambien and hope for the best, or stay out and watch Az make moon eyes at Mor all night. Neither one was particularly appearing.

Elain ignored Nesta’s text as the car pulled up outside the restaurant and she wiggled out, smoothing the back of her tight dress before giving her curls what she hoped was an artful tousle before slipping inside.

Elain’s heart felt into her stomach as she took in the elegant but understated interior of the famed Sushi Nakazawa. Given the prices, she’d assumed the place would be all black granite and swanky chandeliers—the kind of place cleavage like hers wouldn’t seem out of place. Instead the place was elegantly spare and distressingly well-lit. God, she was such a prize idiot.

Unfortunately, she was also out of time, because a quick survey of the interior found that her group was already gathered at the bar, Mor, Feyre, and Rhys having showed up in the interim between Nesta’s text and Elain’s arrival.

Elain’s eyes went to Mor first, who stunned in a cardinal red lace and net sheath. It clung to her frame like it had been made for her, and despite a latent jealous she couldn’t quite contain, she was relieved to find that she at least wouldn’t look overdressed.

Elain’s stomach only wended in a tighter knot when Mor’s eyes fell on her and lit up, a reminder that not only was Mor prettier, she was also an infinitely better person than Elain.

“There she is!” Mor beamed, coming forward and hugging Elain. “I love that dress, Ellie!”

Elain braced herself for Nesta’s inevitably remark, but it was actually Cash who reacted first.

He’d opened his mouth to comment seemingly before he’d actually looked at Elain, because the second he realized what exactly she was wearing, his eyes they snapped the ceiling, as if looking at her chest directly might turn him to stone.

“Whoa, El, all dressed up tonight!”

Nesta, wholly unmoved by his attempted chivalry, elbowed him in the ribs.

“Don’t be vulgar Cassian!” She snarled before narrowing her eyes. “And that’s mine!”

Cash smirked, seeming more at ease now that Nesta was his target.

“I knew I’d seen that bef—ow! Goddamnit woman, what was that for?”

He scowled down at the dangerous stiletto Nesta had just jammed into his toe box.

“Sorry,” she cast over her shoulder, not deigning to look at him. “Did I accidentally step on your foot?”

“I’m an adult,” Elain interjected, cheeks burning as she faced her sister down. “Stop acting like I’ve fourteen and stuffing my bra.”

“They’re just boobs, Nes,” Rhys added, arm slung over Feyre’s shoulder. “Relax.”

“Watch it,” Nesta warned him, but Feyre only laughed.

“I agree!” She said, turning to smile at Elain. “And I think they look amazing.”

“If I’d have known they were going to be such a topic of conversation,” Elain mumbled, grateful Azriel wasn’t here to witness this circus. “I would have worn something else.”

“No, I’m with Feyre,” Mor said, wicked grin forming. “Breasts that nice deserve to be shown off.”

Elain wasn’t so humble that she didn’t feel herself preening a bit at that comment, even if she was still flustered by the prolonged attention. Either way, she was grateful when Cash interrupted with a somewhat sheepish laugh.

“Teenage me would be furious if he heard me say this, but can we please stop talking about boobs?”

“Elain’s boobs or just any boobs?” Feyre said with a smirk.

However, before Elain could admonish her for it, Feyre was crushing her into a hug.

“Hey you,” she said, wrapping her arms and Elain’s neck and whispering in her ear, “let me and Rhys know if you wanna stay at our place tonight; Cash already grabbed Nesta’s ass twice when she thought we weren’t looking.”

Feyre indicated the mirror behind the bar with her eyes as they pulled away, and sure enough, Elain watched Cash’s hand as it drew lazy, dangerous circles just above the swell of Nesta’s well-formed behind.

Elain groaned, hugging Rhys now as well. God , her sister was such a hypocrite sometimes.

Ignoring a lingering twinge of annoyance, Elain forced herself to glance in false realization before casually asking, “So where’s the Birthday Boy?”

“He was on his phone out back,” Rhys said, before raising a hand in greeting to someone over Elain’s shoulder. “There he is.”

Elain tried not to look to eager as she turned and drank in all six feet four inches of perfection that was Azriel Macar. He was dressed all in black, from his prada boots to the soft, expensive t-shirt fitted enough to show off his toned physique. Elain honestly had to fight not to swoon as he ran an effortless hand through his glossy sable hair, the longer pomaded pieces on top stand up for a second before falling into an artful tousle.

“Hey Ellie,” he said, gaze on her and gone so quickly that he never even had time to notice her much-discussed cleavage. Instead, his eyes flicked to Mor and held for a long, meaningful beat before he turned back to Elain and added politely, “Thanks for coming.”

“Sure,” she chirped, trying to ignore the fact that he was coming closer, and that in another second she’d be able to smell that divine Givenchy cologne he always wore. “Of course!“

She bent her head, pretending to be fixing the clasp on her bracelet as his scent hit her and she had to bite back a groan. Sweet Jesus, he smelled good. When she looked up again, everyone else was shuffling to their table and Azriel was lingering, a soft smile threatening to the reveal the absolutely devastating dimples in both his cheeks.

“Do I get a hug?” He asked. “It is my birthday after all.”

He extended his arms, and she gave a nervous laugh, accepting the gesture by stringing her arms around his neck.

“Of course,” she repeated stupidly, trying to ignore the way the muscles in his arms flexed as he embraced her. “Happy Birthday.”

At this he squeezed her a little tighter and she fought off genuine giddiness.

It was a friendly gesture, she warned herself, and it ended the minute Mor called, “Az, come sit by me.”

Elain cleared her throat as he pulled away, turning to where Mor was still beckoning. However, before Elain could get too flustered, he turned back to her.

“Shall we?” he said, indicating Elain go ahead of him. To her delight, they reached the table to find that the only two seats left were next to each other. She tried not to give her eagerness too much leash as he pulled out her chair for her before sinking into the one between she and Mor. Mor leaned over to give him a soft peck on the cheek, and he flushed.

“Where’s Emmy tonight?” Feyre asked as Mor tried to wipe the lipstick from Az’s copper skin and he battered her away, like child trying to fend off an over-bearing mother.

“She’s sick, poor little thing,” Mor said, giving a tiny pout. “She hasn’t been able to get out of bed in days.”

Elain didn’t bother to her disappointment. Emerie had been one of Nesta’s best since they’d met in college almost ten years ago, and she not only was she like family to the Archerons, she also happened to be the only person in the group who knew about Elain’s crush. Elain had sworn her to secrecy at the time, and though it would have been reasonable to assume that once Emmy knew, Mor would know, Elain appreciated that she could trust Emerie to keep her secret.

Elain felt Emerie’s absence keenly and Nesta and Cash began bantering back and forth at lightning speed. Emerie was a master at slowing the tempo of Nesta’s quick wit, making it easier for Elain in particular to feel she could keep up.

More selfishly, Elain also missed Emerie’s ability to keep Mor distracted. When Emmy was around, she was all Mor could focus on. However, in her absence Mor’s attention had reverted almost completely to Az, a fact he didn’t seemed to mind a single bit, if his growing smiles were any indication.

Still, he seemed to be going out of his way to make sure Elain didn’t get lost in the chaos of conversation surging around them, even if he never looked at her for more than a moment or two before his eyes flicked back to Mor, studying her dark brown eyes and crimson lips.

After they placed their drink orders and the waiter came over to begin explaining the omakase menu, Elain wondered if she had time to dodge under the table to throw on some lipstick of her own. Assuring herself everyone was suitably distracted she bent down, hastily uncapping the tube before looking up just in time to see Nesta brush a very deliberate hand between Cassian’s splayed quads.

Elain jerked back, banging her head on the table.

“Fuck!” she swore quietly, straightening and rubbing her head.

Nesta shot her an alarmed look across the table and Elain flushed.

“All you alright?” Azriel asked, and she tried not to bleat in excited panic as his fingers brushed the back of her head. “What happened?”

“I—dropped something,” she fumbled, cursing her sister for being such a salacious wench.

Wasn’t it enough that she and Cash were already going to keep her up all night? Did she really have to make Elain look silly in front of Azriel, too?

“Does it hurt?” Azriel said, still studying her head before letting his eyes go to the server. “Do you need ice?”

“No, no,” Elain said hurriedly, trying to regain her composure. “I’m fine.”

“Did you at least find whatever you were looking for?” Mor asked, and Elain’s flush deepened.

“And then some,” she grumbled to herself, and Cassian gave a quiet but unmistakable laugh before letting out a surprised exhale. Elain had a fairly good idea what Nesta was squeezing to shut him up.

“Should we order, then?” Mor asked, hand falling onto Azriel’s arm. “Any particular requests, Birthday Boy?”

“He’s thirty now,” Rhys pointed out. “I think that makes him a Birthday Man .”

“Birthday Old Man,” Cassian amended. “Don’t worry champ, I’ve already put some viagra in your bathroom.”

“You’re not supposed to share your prescriptions, Cash,” Azriel said with mirth, eyes sparkling even as his face remained neutral. “And besides, I would feel dead back if you needed one tonight and couldn’t find them.”

“Checkmate,” Mor purred as Cash flipped her off.

Beside Azriel, Elain was fighting not to blush again. Cash’s comment, however sophomoric and lewd, had her imagining what Azriel was like in bed. She wondered for a moment if Mor knew before dismissing the thought and the twinge it induced.

“Let’s put this poor souls out of his misery and order,” Feyre said, smiling at the server where he still waited patiently. “Maybe if Cash’s mouth is full, he’ll stop talking.”

Cassian grinned, and, after placing their requests for the chef’s tasting menu, they all settled into an easy conversation. Cash and Rhys regaled them with stories of Azriel at various ages, from the gawky child he’d been when they’d first met him to the shy teenager who’d been terrified of girls.

“Let him be,” Mor said, touching her friend’s shoulder. “He was sweet in high school!”

Rhys laughed.

“It took him a year to pluck up the courage to say three words to you,” he pointed out.

“And they were ‘here’s a pen’ in response to you asking him the time. Nice work, Shakespeare,” Cash said, attempting to muss Azriel’s perfectly styled hair before being batted away.

“I can’t imagine Az ever being awkward,” Elain blurted. “I bet girls thought he was mysterious and cool.“

“See?” Azriel said, gesturing to Elain. “This is why I sat over here.”

“Oh please ,” Rhys said, bubbling his lips. “Ellie’s just being polite. If you two had known each other in high school, we all know how to would’ve gone: you’d have had an obscene crush on her and your dreams of true love would have been dashed after she politely signed your yearbook ‘have a good summer, Adrian’, leaving you heartbroken and alone.”

Azriel gave Elain a soft smile, and her heart burst open as thousands of butterflies flitted out of it.

“I hate to say it, but he’s probably right,” he told her. “I assume high school Elain was very popular.”

“She was,” Feyre said. “Eight different guys asked her to prom.”

“I’m not surprised,” Az said, and Elain made a great show out of drinking out of her masu to avoid having to answer.

She was relieved when the food began arriving to distract everyone, if only to save her the temptation of telling Azriel that there was no universe in which she wouldn’t have been into him, high schoolers or no.

Instead discussion turned to the Feyre and Rhys’s wedding as they ate, and as final plates were being cleared, Cash took the opportunity to once again mocked Azriel for the fact the latter had lost the rock-paper-scissors competition to be Rhys’s best man.

“I lost on purpose,” he told Elain quietly, taking a sip of the Yamasaki Single Malt he’d ordered after dinner.

“Why?” she laughed, following his gaze across the table to where Cash and Nesta were now bickering about whether Rhys’s stag night in Vegas would be better than Feyre’s hen do in Napa.

“Because Rhys told me that you’d convinced Feyre to pick Nesta as her maid of honor, and no offense, but your sister terrifies me. I’d much rather be with you.”

She laughed, biting her lip. It felt so terribly like they were flirting, but she couldn’t decide if it was her imagination or not.

“She terrifies everyone,” Elain said. “And I have a feeling this won’t our last trip down the aisle together.”

Azriel only quirked a bemused brow at this, which had Elain flushing scarlet.

“Not like that! She laughed, fumbling to pretend the idea of them being together was absurd rather than her heart’s desire. "I meant for Cash and Nesta’s wedding. Don’t tell me those two aren’t going to end up together.”

“We’ll have to work out a custody agreement when they finally get over themselves and start dating properly,” he agreed. “I’m spending a fortune on earplugs.”

She laughed, and he seemed warmed by the gesture, because he flashed a modest—albeit dimpled—smile being turning back to the larger conversation.

After dinner they’d gone a cocktail bar, then an Irish pub, and finally—much to Azriel’s chagrin—a karaoke bar. Rhys and Cash spend the majority of the evening trying to wrestle Azriel on stage while Mor and Feyre sang duets to Beyoncé and Spice Girls.

Elain was content enough to sit back and simply observe the scene as it unfolded around her. It was hard to contain her giddy, dreadful anticipation when Mor left around one to check on Emerie and Azriel—besides bidding her farewell with a soft kiss on the cheek—didn’t move a muscle.

Less than an hour later, Cash and Nesta both disappeared about an hour after without so much as a goodbye. Elain groaned, hoping they’d be asleep by the time she got home.

She’d have to rally if she wanted to manage it; they would be at it for hours yet.

By three the place was clearing out, and besides them, only a few tables of marathon drinkers and a girl on stage performing a beautiful rendition of Fleetwood Mac’s “Landslide” remained.

“We’re gonna go,” Rhys said, arm slung around a rather drunk, giggling Feyre. “Ellie, do you want to come with us?”

Elain glanced at Azriel, who’s glass still had two fingers of whiskey in it. If she wanted a chance to be alone with him, this was it.

“I think I’ve got one more in me,” she said, smiling.

“If you mean drink, I’m in,” Azriel said.

“Oh c’mon, brother,” Rhys goaded. “Just one song. I wouldn’t even film it….much.”

“Do Beyoncé!” Feyre chimed in, and Azriel shook his head.

“You know I’d play in traffic before I ever sang karaoke,” Azriel said mildly, making Feyre laugh. "Thanks for coming.”

He rose, embracing Rhys and pressing a kiss on Feyre’s head.

“C’mon, my little drunkard,” Rhys told her. “Let’s get you to bed.”

“Let’s have sex when we get home,” Feyre said, her attempted whisper fully audible. Rhys pretended smack his forehead with his palm and a mimed, “ Oh brother ”, to Azriel and Elain before coax a still-singing Feyre outside.

Azriel chuckled before draining the last of his drink and rising. Elain pretended not to notice the way his well-tailored jeans fit his lean legs and…other parts of his anatomy as he adjusted his belt buckle and glanced down at her.

“Bud Light?” he asked, and she nodded, bobbing to her feet as well.

If she wanted a way to get closer to him that was more elegant than her increasing urge to crawl across the table and into his lap, this was certainly it.

“I’ll come with you.”

He flashed her a modest smile before indicating she lead the way. He ordered and waved off Elain’s attempt to pay before leaning on the bar to avoid towering over her. The gesture brought them nearly eye-to-eye, and Elain had to actively fight not to let hers roll back in pleasure at the bergamot and amyris wood notes in his sinful cologne. Up close Elain could see how much green he had in his hazel irises, and she wanted to tip into them and swim until she drowned.

“Did you have fun?” she said, desperate to get the conversation flowing again, and he smiled, making her stomach flop.

“I did, yeah,” he said, glancing around the bar in bemusement, as if still wondering how he’d ended up there. “Thank you for coming.”

Elain shrugged, grinning.

“You say that like you didn’t think I’d show,” she said, resting a cheek in her hand. She knew by now her expression was not her less than a swoon, though she couldn’t bring herself to care.

Hadn’t been this been her plan all along? Finally get Az’s attention long enough to tell him how she felt? Now was the best chance she’d probably ever get.

“No, I figured would,” Az said, interrupting her reverie. “Or hoped you would, whatever.”

Was that—

Did that mean what she thought it did?

Normally she would have chalked it up to wishful thinking, but the way he rubbed the back of his neck, dimples appearing as he huffed what almost sound like a sheepish laugh, had hope igniting in her chest.

“What does that mean?” she pressed, forcing herself to meet his gaze.

For the first time all night, he didn’t look away. Instead, his eyes skated back and forth across her face, as if she were a riddle he only had seconds to memorize. She watched, transfixed, as he wet his plush lower lip with his tongue before biting it almost self-consciously.

“It means I’m glad you came,” he admitted. “And that you didn’t go home with your sister and Rhys.”

It wasn’t the confirmation she’d been hoping for, and the ambiguity of the statement had her conviction waning. That could just as easily have been mean platonically, and if she pushed him and ruined things between them by making it awkward—

“Of course I’d be here for your birthday,” she said, giving his shoulder a playful shove. “That’s what friends are for.”

She couldn’t help the way her voice got stuck on the word, not when her throat suddenly began to clog with tears.

She had to get out of here, right now. Before she started crying and made things worse. She made to retract her hand but Azriel grabbed it, grip gentle but intent.

“El, don’t go,” he said, and she was surprised at the frank discontent in his normally-impassive expression.

She waited for him to explain himself before instead he let out another strained laugh, grip on her wrist easing. However, he didn’t let go entirely, choosing to intertwine their fingers instead.

Holding hands.

She and Az were holding hands.

And he—

She glanced back up to find he was studying her again, his face a mixture of terror and delight. When she gave his hand a soft squeeze, he let out the breath he’d been holding.

“Jesus, I am bad at this,” he said, reaching up to tuck a curl behind her ear. She wasn’t sure if she’d imagined it, but she thought his gaze flicked down to her lips as he continued to study her with heavy-lidded eyes.

“Bad at what?” She asked, though she’d begun to suspect she knew exactly what, even if it seemed too good to be true.

“At least my timeline is improving,” he breathed instead. “And I haven’t offered you a pen you didn’t ask for yet.”

Hoping she wasn’t misreading the situation, she let her finger trail down to trace the circular buckle of his Gucci before glancing back up at him and purring, “Do you have a pen?”

He smirked before raising his right wrist and glancing at his watch face over her shoulder.

“It’s….3:17 am,” he said, smile spreading as she gave a low sound of approval and flicked her gaze to his lips.

“Smooth,” she said, and tried not to lose her mind as he let his raised hand fall to the back of her neck and bent to kiss her.

He had almost girlishly full lips, and they opened for her as they settled into the kiss. Immediately his hand tangled in her hair so he could alter her head position slightly and get a proper taste of her. She groaned into his mouth he pulled at her lower lip with his teeth. He tasted like oranges and the expensive Japanese whiskey he’d been drinking all night, and pleasure tightened in her low belly as his tongue brushed hers. Her brought his free hand up to cradle her face, and in response she pushed closer to run her hands underneath of his shirt and down the silken skin of his back.

“Fuck,” he breathed with a heated half-laugh, nose brushing her cheek as he bowed into her touch. “You’re killing me, woman.”

She only smirked, feeling more confident now that she had before. She could hardly believe this was happening, but she was too excited about it to fully care.

“Let’s get out of here,” she said, and he bit his lip, as if restraining himself from kissing her again.

“Like to another bar?” he asked, dazed as he continued to stare at her lips.

“Like to my bed,” she said boldly. “Or yours, depending on where Cassian and Nesta ended up.”

He didn’t speak immediately, just studied her, and she panicked.

“I mean, only if you—I’m sorry, should I not have—?“

He only kissed her again in response, more gently this time.

“Please stop apologizing,” he said, kissing her jaw now before seeming to realize something and pulling back, brows synced.

“I—Jesus, do you seriously not know?”

She felt a bit sheepish at his incredulous tone and fought not to stiffen.

“Know what?”

He laughed softly, though their was a edge of self-deprecation in it that kept the gesture from seeming conscending.

“I really am the worst at this.”

“At what?”

“El, I’ll crazy about you. I have been crazy about you since we met.”

“You have?” she blurted, horror fading into genuine—if elated—confusion.

He laughed.

“Did you think it was coincidence that you and I are always sitting next to each other at dinner? That I always find you at Rhys’s dumb parties?”

“I—“ she began, still trying to decide if this was a dream or not. “What about Mor, though?”

“Mor?” he repeated, confused now, too. “What about her?”

“I thought you and she—“

He leaned in to brush his nose against hers, and she blushed at the innocent affection in the gesture.

“Not at all,” he assured her. “I did have a thing for her in high school, but I got over it after she and Cash slept together at prom. We’re just friends, I swear.”

“But she’s always touching you, and every time I see you together you can’t stop looking at her.”

At this he laughed, his smile so genuine and open she almost didn’t recognize him.

“She’s always been touchy-feely,” he said. “She grew up in Madrid, and people are just more affectionate there, I guess. And I only watch her when you’re around because she called me out for having an absurd crush on you, and I was afraid she was going to get drunk and blow my cover by telling you.”

Elain shook her head, still not quite believing what she was hearing. Reading her expression, he bent to kiss her softly.

“What guy wouldn’t be crazy about you?” he breathed. “You’re incredible.”

This seemed to break the spell, and she twined her fingers in his hair and pulled him down for another steamy kiss.

“Text Cash,” she said a little breathlessly when they broke away. “I don’t want an audience.”

She couldn’t felt but feeling smug when he almost dropped his phone at those words. It felt good to know that she wasn’t the only one affected by all this.

“Cash and Nesta are at the lof—“ Az began after a minute, but Elain cut him off with a kiss.

H rose, pulling her against him as his tongue brushed the roof of her mouth.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” he said as she kissed his neck and tugged on his earlobe with her teeth, earning a low groan. “You’ve been drinking.”

She grabbed his chin so he would look at her.

“Not that much,” she said, and it was true. “And besides, I wanted this way before tonight.“

“Good,” he breathed, pressing a hand to her low back to bring her close to him. “Because so have I.”

Though they spent the majority of the ride up town and the elevator up to her apartment making out, something seemed to shift as Elain’s door clicked shut behind him, as if the gravity of what they were about to do had finally caught up to them.

Reluctantly Az peeled his lips from where they’d been glued to her neck as he took a small step back, as if to give her space.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, feeling embarrassed for how much she still wanted him even now that he seemed to have come to his senses.

“Maybe we should—” he broke off, looking somewhat guilty. “Hold off.”

She nodded, trying to keep the tears at bay again.

“Are you worried this could mess things up in the group? Because I understand—“

“No,” he said hurriedly, coming forward again, as if he could no longer stand to be away. “Not at all. I just—you’re special, El. You deserve to be taken out and spoiled.”

“Az, you just took us to a $1,800 dinner! Or did you think I didn’t see you pulling our server aside?”

Azriel opened his mouth, and she covered it with a finger.

“You don’t need to earn my affection. It’s yours already, free of charge.”

“I’ve just been—I waited so long to make my move and I’m terrified of fucking it up,” he said with a soft laugh.

“Why, are you bad at sex?”

Azriel laughed, seemed to relax at her teasing.

“I’ve never had any complaints,” he breathed again her lips, kissing her deeply again.

She gently bit his lower lip in response.

“Then I’d say you’ve gotten nothing to worry about,” she said, kissing him a third time.

She moaned softly when drove his fingers into her hair, hips canting towards her as he pressed her more fully into the door.

She could feel his body’s reaction to her pressing between her thighs, and she moaned again.

“Fuck,” he breathed onto her skin. “You are so gorgeous.”

“So are you,” she said, running her hands up the back of his t-shirt and feeling the mosaic of muscles flexing underneath. “Take this off.”

He laughed and pulled the offending garment over his head, making her groan in delight.

“God, this body ,” she breathed, running a hand down his chest and enjoying his shiver at her delicate touch.

He responded by spinning her away from him and gently dragging down the zipper of her dress until he could slip a hand inside of it.

“I knew you couldn’t have a bra on underneath this thing,” he said, voice a touch smug as he cupped both bare breasts and her breath caught in her throat..

“I’m surprised you even noticed,” she said, voice somewhat. “I wore this dress for you, and you didn’t even look at it once the entire evening.”

She laughed, the sound into a soft moan as he twisted one nipple in experimentation. When she sighed and let her head fall back onto his shoulder.

“Of course I noticed the dress,” he corrected. “You have the most perfect tits I’ve ever seen. I just knew that if I let myself look, I might not be able to stop looking.”

“You shouldn’t say that until you’ve seen them without the sorcery of underwire,” she said.

With that he spun her to face him, catching her gaze to ensure he had her permission before tugging down the top of the dress so her breasts fell free.

“Gorgeous,” he said, easing to his knees so he could replace his fingers with his mouth. “Absolutely gorgeous.”

“If I known this was going to be your reaction, I would have worn a bodycon dress in front of you ages ago,” she said, threading her hands through his hair as he dragged his teeth and tongue along her nipple.

“You don’t need some tight dress to be sexy,” he said, resting his chin her her sternum so he could gaze up at her. “I’d take you in your overalls and pigtail braids any day.”

“Is this some Pippy Longstocking fetish we should all know about?”

He grinned, rising to his feet and giving one of her curls a playful tug.

“Because as devastating as you are playing dress up in your sister’s clothes, I prefer you as you.”

“You can’t say that when I’m naked,” she said with a smile, touching his cheek.

“Why not?”

“Because I may start crying and ruin the mood.”

He cocked his head to the side, tracing her lips with a finger.

“I wouldn’t mind a few tears from you in bed. But only if it’s from you sobbing in pleasure.”

His words sent blood pooling south, the intensity cause a dull throbbing.

“Why do I feel like you could do it, too?” She asked, reaching down to free his belt as he heeled out of his boots.

“Don’t tempt me,” he said, taking her hand and guiding it between his legs. “Forget this,” he said, squeezing gently so she could feel how hard he was. “I could go down on your all night and be the happiest guy on Earth.”

Emerie had said as much once, at a drunken girls’ night.

Azriel strikes me as the type of guy who loves eating girls out. It’s why gay women find him so easy to befriend; we recognize kindred spirit.

Elain vowed to never tell the others she’d been right.

“Will you let me?” He asked, gently nudging her dressing off her hips until it came free and pooled at her feet.

“Is this a trick question?” She said, voice going hoarse as he slipping a hand into her underwear.

“Some people don’t like it.”

“I’m not one of them,” she said, he smiled, coaxing her legs around his waist so he could carry her.

“Thank God,” he replayed. “That would break my heart. Which way?”

She pointed him in the right direction before giving into temptation and kissing him again, looking to way she could feel like body reacting to hers as he held her close. Only when they reached her room—which was decidedly messier than she’d have liked considering Azriel Macar was now in it—did he set her down.

He wasted no time into coaxing her onto the bed, taking only a moment to admire the silky black thong she wore before dragging into down her thighs and discarding it.

“Spread your legs for me, El,” he said, brushing kisses to her knee as she slowly did as he commanded.

The light from the nearby street lamp made the room a lot less dark than Elain was used to during sex, and for a moment she though to be embarrassed or postpone. Then she glanced down to admire the contrast of Azriel’s inky black hair framed against the pale skin of her thighs, and she forgot what it even meant to be self-conscious as he finally put him mouth on her.

She swore at the first brush of his tongue, which was both deliberate and extremely delicate. She threaded a hand through his hair at his second stroke, the touch more intentional this time.

“Azriel,” she breathed.

She watched the muscles in his beautiful back shift at this, as if hearing her moan his name had untethered something in him. When he put his mouth back on her, it was clear he was no longer attempted to tease her. Instead he felt right to where she needed him most, refusing to relent until she tipped over the edge.

Even then he didn’t seem satisfied, it and it was only after he made her come a second time did he pull back, licking his lips before bending to kiss her.

“Take your pants off,” she demanded. "Right now.”

She felt him grinning against her neck as he peeled off of her, slowly working the buttons of his pants before sliding them down his trim hips. He wore black boxer briefs underneath, and he honestly looked like an Armani model. She bit her lip, eying the sizable swell of him through the cotton.

“Those too,” she breathed, greedily drinking in his well-defined adonis belt and the bare trace of hair above the band.

He did as she commanded, and she nearly melted. Naked he was a God, all rippling muscles and smooth unblemished skin, save for the chest piece tattoo that extended onto his shoulders and halfway down his arms. She let her eyes sink lower. Even half-hard he was big, and her belly clenched.

Wasting no time, she urged him to take her place on the bed before kneeling at his feet and putting her mouth on it.

“Shit,” he hissed, driving a hand into his hand then down his face. “Ellie, you’re kiling me.”

She looked up at him through her lashes, and he growled in approval, seeming to decide something before breaking her grip on him and hauling her to her feet. He kissed her again, and she could feel his cock as it practically pulsed between them.

She still wasn’t sure she could believe it was for her, that somehow he wanted her as much as she did him, and had for almost as long.

“Condoms,” he breathed against her mouth. “I need to be inside of you.”

She froze.

“I don’t have any,” she said, dismayed.

How could she be so stupid? Why didn’t they stop on the way home? The closest bodega was six blocks, and she knew everyone who worked there. The last thing she needed was all of them knowing—

Azriel pressed a swift kiss to her lips before tangling from her.

“Where are you going?”

“To grab a condom.”

“Naked?

He flashed her a slight grimace, “Let’s agree you won’t ask where I get it from.”

“Oh Moses,” Elain said, face flushing scarlet as she listened to Nesta’s door creaking open.

Azriel was back in less than a minute, tossing an entire box onto the nightstand as he pulled open one of the foils with his teeth, using his free hand to push his damp hair, long enough to brush his cheekbones now that it wasn’t styled, out of his eyes.

“You found those distressingly fast,” Elain said, unsure if she was amused or mortified at the situation.

“Cash is predictable with his hiding spots,” Az said, eyes hooded as he stroked himself several times before rolling the condom onto his length.

“And why did you take the whole box?”

Azriel laughed softly.

“Because I have a feeling we’re going to need them.”

Without another word Az sank to his knees again, one hand lazily stroking himself to maintain his erection as he went down on her again.

This time it only last three seconds or so before he pulled back, resting one knee beside her hip to steady himself before pulling her onto his shaft in a single wet stroke. Using her left bent leg as leverage, he adjusted his angle, smirking at her low, guttural moan of pleasure.

“Good to know your g-spot is as sensitive as the rest of you,” he breathed, and she laughed and tugged him into an ambitious rhythm.

Soon the only sound was their shared breathing, and the sliding on their bodies against one another. She came first, and he followed even before the dizzying waves of pleasure ceased. He pumped lazily in and out of her for another half dozen stroke before gently extracting from her and peeling off the condom.

She curled against him, cheek pressed to chest as her hands continued to explore. Her fingers caressed his swelling pectorals and each of his abdominal muscles before lazily venturing back between his legs. He gave a hiss of pleasure as she began to work his silken shaft in earnest, and in minutes he was fully ready again.

He groaned when she snatched one of the condoms and rolled it onto him before swinging a leg over and sinking astride him.

Her third orgasm hit her only a short time later, and she sighed when he bucked up into her before going languid under her ministrations.

She leaned down to kiss him as he ran a soothing hand down her back.

“Jesus,” he breathed, pressing his forehead to hers and swirling his hips, still inside her despite his orgasm. “That was incredible.”

She purred her contentment, feeling something even more alluring than desire swell in her chest as he discarded the second condom and tugged her into his arms, tangling their legs. He still smelled like cologne, but it had mixed with her perfume, and sweat, and the scent was intoxicating. She wanted to bath in it—in him—until she died from bliss. She listened to his breathing even out, and as she was drifting off to bed, he felt his breath ruffle her hair.

“Do you like pancakes?” he murmured. “I want to make you breakfast in the morning.”

“Really?” she said, looking at him over a shoulder and melting at the warmth in his smile, less guarded now than it had been even hours before.

“I want to make breakfast for you every morning,” he breathed. “I have since I met you.”

She smiled, nestling closer to him.

“I’d love that, but I should probably be the one making you breakfast. It is your birthday, after all. You have to let me give you something other than a bj and a few orgasms for your birthday, even if it is your dirty 30.”

Az choked on a laugh.

“Say you‘ll dinner with me, then. No family or nosy friends around, just us.”

“I think the word you’re looking for it ‘date’,” she said, laughing as his cheeks flushed before realizing something. “Or is the idea just too formal for the situation? I know we did things a bit backwards...”

“We did,” he agreed, stroking her cheek. “But that doesn’t mean I want to spoil you any less. So yes a date, if you’ll still have me.”

“I will,” she said, meeting his hazel eyes before gently kissing him. “With pleasure.”

He smiled against her mouth.

“Then that’s the only birthday gift I want or need from you.”

She smiled, feeling happy to the point of bursting when he kissed her ear and closed his eyes again.

"Happy Birthday, Az.”

His hum of contentment vibrated through her back.

“The happiest,” he breathed.

#featherywrites #elriel smut #elain x azriel #acotar modern one shot #four word prompts

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anarchy2021 · 3 years

Text

PSA Day! (Rp etiquette)

{ID: A person standing next to a flipchart. They're thin, and have medium-length brown hair, pale skin, and dark brown ears. The ears are angled horizontally. They're wearing thin-rimmed glasses, and their expression reads as confident. Their hair is partially tied up in a bun. They also have a long tail the same brown as their ears, with brown fur the same color as their hair on the end. They're wearing black trousers, a black waistcoat with a white shirt underneath. Additionally, a black overcoat with gold edges is draped over their shoulders. The inner lining of the overcoat is red, and partially visible behind the person. They have their right hand on their hip, and with their left hand, they're holding a stick up to the flipchart, which reads "RP 101 :)". The 101 is underlined. END ID.}

Greetings! You may not recognize me (unless you were watching the debate perhaps, then, sup) as I admit I’ve been a bit…. Behind the scenes as it were (as secretary of VOID there is a lot of looking at the void, usual routine for me mhm mhm). Regardless, I’m Days (or Nights, either or) and for today’s PSA I’m here (along with some words from our recently freed from totally-not-prison president, Graphite, at a later date) to talk to you about roleplay! More specifically, rp etiquette and terms and how that relates to the DSMP and how it should be talked about.

Now now, you might be wondering “oh but what is your experience?” Glad you asked! I’m a long term text rper with over 5 years of experience- and my main avenues of rp are rps similar in structure to that of the DSMP- long term improv driven sandboxes that also have important events planned ahead of time in some regard but are often player driven most of the time. Now, let’s get into it!

Head writers/admins

Let’s start off with a pretty hot topic regarding the server, which is the existence of a ‘head writer’ (usually in reference to Mr. Soot). Now, mainy take this as meaning quite literally a writer- like in a show, but, with what information we have I think it’s safe to say he’s not really that and more along the lines of an rp admin/head. The admin’s main purpose is to keep things structured and organized, as well as putting together the events they’re in charge of. This is pretty much how everyone treats the man anyways, BUT, while an admin is in charge of a lot they do NOT have the final say over everything, particularly in regards to the characters and their players.

Players in an rp for the most part have full control over their characters (within reason and the confines of the rp setting) and an admin enforcing their will onto a character (such as enforcing certain backstory choices that don’t seem particularly wanted. For example, the fridge with c!Phil) is often frowned upon unless there is a good reason for it and discussed with the rper.

It is also notable that just because there is an admin, that doesn’t mean they’re the sole writer/organizer/etc. It is not at all uncommon for specific subplots and or other important events to be headed by players involved in it in this type of rp. This can be seen in practice with how the Eggpire plotline was headed by BBH and the prison plotline was mainly written by Dream and Tommy.

Summary:

- head writer/admins do not and should not control everything

- organise and structure events

- players might admin their own smaller plots within a rp

Narrative consequences

Now, another hot topic- especially in regards to character discourse (my abhorred personally). Narrative consequences. These are generally referred to when someone thinks a character is not getting the consequences for their actions in the story that they should, or (more rarely in my experience) when they feel a character is being punished too hard for their actions. While this is an understandable feeling to have, at the end of the day narrative consequences just aren’t much of a thing in roleplay, at least not to the same extent as a book or tv show.

This is for one simple reason, consequences rely on the character’s actions and how they respond to others around them, if a character does not feel like it’s fit to react or if it angers their character- it is 100% within their right to respond accordingly.

However, there is also an argument that can be made if a character responds to something in a way that doesn’t align with a character’s usual actions. For a personal example, one time in a rp I was playing a character who was intervening when another character was being hurt, however, my character was met with scorn from being somewhat aggressive regarding it- I felt that this was unfair as none of these character showed the same scrutiny to characters who did worse things, and none of these characters had been established as hypocrites.

This grudge lasted the entire rp until my character died. This is a point where believing that the consequences to a character are unjust is more or less fair, but, a character simply not getting immediately smited or a character getting scorn is not automatically a point against the character, especially since an rper cannot reasonably make their fellow rpers react a certain way.

Summary:

- narrative consequences are not the same in RP as in other mediums

- can't force characters to react, or force players to react in a way they don't feel is fit

- but can critique RP if things feel unfairly ooc/inconsistent

Retcons

Next up, retcons. What is a retcon? It’s short for retroactive continuity, in essence it’s when in a piece of media something is changed retroactively- such as a character’s personality, how an event occurred, etc. for an outsider audience perspective retcons are often looked upon unfavorably, as it’s changing something already established which can cause friction among those attached to certain ideas, but in reality retcons are both a neutral concept and fairly normal to occur in rps.

Rps are (generally) not professional writing, they’re things made up on the fly with perhaps a base to work off of (and depending on the rp, not even that. However in the rps I’ve done we generally had character sheets and the like for backstories and all) and thus sometimes mistakes happen. One of the main causes for minor retcons is when details are confused or left out that would have realistically affected the situation or how characters would have responded to it, unless in severe cases these usually happen on the spot and don’t cause much of a fuss.

Major retcons often fall along the lines of players and how they choose to present their character. This is especially common when a player is using a character for the first time or even if they’re just new to an rp in general, sometimes as we rp we simply decide to take things in a new direction and sometimes that direction may cause things already established to be retconned, even if not outright stated.

A good example of this is the enderwalk with c!Ranboo, the enderwalk as it was first introduced is very different than it is portrayed now, likely as a result of Ranboo taking a new direction with his character since then. More widespread retcons may happen if people are unhappy with a certain plot thread, in this case an example would be the canon status of SBI, Wilbur used to push it but Techno (and later Phil) didn’t want it to be canon, so anything about it previously said has been soundly retconned.

In my own case character retcons very often happen to me when I first use an oc, as the character takes a different shape than what I put on the paper in practice, even sometimes within the same rp (one of my first ocs was practically unrecognizable as the same character in the beginning of an rp as compared to even just a few weeks later).

So, retcons are fine and normal to occur, but, like I said- they’re neutral. A retcon can very well be done poorly and cause problems. This is mainly in issue with retcons made that affect highly established and built upon aspects without discussion with all those who’d be effected, this can cause confusion, plot holes and cause characters to be in a weird limbo if they don’t know how to have their character act without whatever was retconned. Major retcons need to be discussed in order to prevent these problems, and in some cases should be avoided entirely- instead it being better to work for a compromise and rework events rather than removing them.

Summary:

- retcons are normal and neutral

- small retcons happened frequently in RP to help keep things going in an improv heavy medium. Usually unnoticeable

- large retcons tend to have with new players, or if the story is taking a new direction.

- large retcons require a lot of communication, and sometimes whould be avoided, instead working to compromise and rework the direction of the RP

Metagaming and godmodding

Metagaming and godmodding are two very important terms to know for rp etiquette and if you’ve done any rping you’ve probably seen these words thrown around in rules lists and such already. These are both ultimately negative things that should be avoided at all costs. What are they? Metagaming is when you use information that you know OOC and use it IC even though your character should not have that information. Godmodding is when a character is taken over by another person for one reason or another against the player’s will- such as having a character react to something without letting the actual rper do it.

The former is a big issue when it comes to discussion of the DSMP and how people interact with it, mainly in the chat and donos. When you are trying to get a character to react to information that they shouldn’t have you are trying to get them to metagame, which is heavily frowned upon in an RP. This is also important to note in discussion, a character not responding to certain important events is not a mark against them if the character has no way of even knowing what was going on, or would not reasonably respond to it with the information they have.

Summary:

- both frowned upon

- god modding is taking over someone elses character

- metagaming is using out of character information to do in character acting

- Meta gaming is relevant to DSMP particular in how it relates to donos and chats. Don't encourage meta-gaming

All of these factors are important to consider when discussing the DSMP and it’s narrative, it’s not going to function the same as other forms of media nor should it- as once you go in that direction you’re competing with the big boys over at tv and at that point things would fall apart. Improv and it’s unique variables is what makes the DSMP, and anything else like it, special and interesting to follow!

#dsmp #dreamsmp #rp etiquette #mcytblr elections #anarchy2021 #mcytblr election 2021 #PSA day #art by Days #long post #editted by zaph :]#first post from yours truly #(thats days not zaph... i post a lot i will not shut up <3)

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bagadew · 3 years

Text

The Great Ace Attorney Playthrough: The Adventure of the Great Departure (Part 3)

Last Time: We finally found Miss Brett, the English woman who’s present had been erased from the scene of the crime, and dragged her ass to court only to discover that she was a Massively Racist Bitch in a swan hat. After a lot of back and forth it became clear that Dr Watson Wilson actually died of poisoning, and that Miss Brett took advantage of the fact Japan currently doesn’t do autopsy reports to shoot his corpse in the chest and frame me (Ryunosuke) for the murder. Fortunately for us Hosonaga took the bottle from the crime scene, and after needlessly translating Miss Brett for the last hour (and presumably filtering out a lot of questionable content) was only to happy to produce it for the court. Unfortunately for us the poison wasn’t in the bottle, so it’s up to a lady in pink to save the day!

I’m going to roundhouse kick Auchi

I’m liking how everyone else in this room is just as done with Auchi as I am

Our saviour Ryunosuke, that’s who

Oh, that’s not a glass

Is it about poisons?

It is!

Ok so I’m pretty sure that Curare is incredibly powerful and fast acting poison (which lines up with what we know). Unfortunately I think it needs to be injected but I might be mixing it up with something else.

Susato’s actually given me the report now, which is probably a much more sensible way of getting information (rather than me trying to remember what I’ve picked up from Agatha Christie novels), and unfortunately it looks like I remembered correctly about it needing to be injected.

(Side note: how alarming is it that I’ve retained this much knowledge on poisons? I feel the need to explain that I’ve been reading and listening to audio dramatisation of Agatha Christie novels since I was about three, but I feel like that makes it worse)

What is curious though is it’s potential use as an anaesthetic. Given that Dr Wilson had just had a tooth removed with anaesthetic I wonder if there’s a connection there?

I’m not sure what it could be though, unless it turns out Miss Brett Weekend at Berniesed his corpse all the over way from the clinic.

GET HER ASS RYUNOSUKE!!!

Actually wait...

GET HER ASS JUDGE!!!

Auchi if we were to run this courtroom on things you know about we’d be running a kindergarten.

Auchi, you’d never even heard of Curare until I told you about it, be quiet while the grownups are talking.

Yeah, Curare is not a nice poison.

I’m not going to post the full explanation here, but wow, Kazuma’s really going all out with his description!

Also it looks like I misunderstood about it needing to be injected. Everyone’s saying that it can just be swallowed, which I guess that makes sense given how deadly it is.

Miss Brett’s being a bitch again (but what else is new) and Kazuma’s taking none of your shit and telling her that the feeling’s mutual. (Something I would have screenshot, but I was too busy calling Kazuma a legend to press the little square button.)

I knew it, it was only in the glass.

Yeah, now try it again from the glass you took.

Don’t worry Ryunosuke, I got this!

It’s ok Kazuma! Believe in me (Ryunosuke) and our beautiful friendship!

It astounds me too Kazuma, but for once I’m on to something!

Kazuma, please stop saying foreboding things, I need you to survive the next case and you’re already not being helped by the fact that you’re so much better than me. You’re so good you kind of render me, the protagonist, a little bit obsolete in fact.

PENALISED!

I guess I was wrong then! That bottle does somehow contain poison.

Yes Kuzuma, because I’m going to be penalised otherwise!

OH FUCK I’VE GOT IT!!!

I UNDERSTOOD CORRECTLY THE FIRST TIME!!!

IT DOES NEED TO BE PUT INTO THE BLOODSTREAM!!!

AND THE DOCTOR HAD A GAPING WOUND IN HIS MOUTH!!!

WHICH MISS JEZAILLE BRETT ADMITTED SHE KNEW ABOUT!!!

It’s finally time!

Let’s get her!

He’s got it!

GET HER ASS RYUNOSUKE!!!

She’s cracking!

Is it hatred Ryunosuke?

Ah no, my mistake - it’s lawyer rage conviction!

I know I’ve said this a lot but...

GET HER ASS RYUNOSUKE!!!!!!!!!!

HE DID THE THING!!!!!!!!

WE’RE USING HER OWN WORDS AGAINST HER

AND IT FEELS SO GOOD!

Oh good... she’s started laughing

Oh no. We’ve set things into motion haven’t we.

Kazuma, I can’t stress enough how important it is for you to take care of yourself in the case to come.

SHE’S DESTROYING THE EVIDENCE!

You can’t do that!

Oh who am I kidding, this lady’s been dancing on privilege since she walked in.

Oh Ryunosuke I think she might have done...

I knew she felt like an end of game villain!

Auchi’s about to catch these hands!

Kazuma’s telling us to step into our mind palace.

‘Is Kazuma right’, he thinks, as he remembers the blood on the plate.

I don’t know Ryunosuke? Is water wet?

You got it Kazuma!

I mean to be fair it did only just happen.

DID HE STEAL THE PLATE?!?

YES HOSONAGA!!!

YOU BEAUTIFUL GENIUS!!!

I do genuinely love these moments in Ace Attorney though. When everyone works as one to get some untouchable big fry. There’s something very rewarding about the whole thing.

Shit... she swapped it out...

Fortunately my man Hosonaga has everyone’s plates though!

Cheer up Ryunosuke, look, we have steak blood at least. And I’m sure Hosonaga’ll bring us the rest of the plates if we ask nicely. Especially after Miss Brett broke his bottle.

Miss Brett’s now making racist statements again.

But at least I’ve been given the steak to examine!

Bless you Kazuma

Ryunosuke what short of cats have you been looking at!

Get his ass (affectionately) Kazuma!

THE STOLEN COIN!!!

I KNEW SHE SWAPPED THEM!!!

(Also it looks like I was right about it being stolen by Nosa)

Didn’t know that was there, did you Miss Brett?

Now, dig your own grave with your words!

Now it’s time to dob Nosa in it. Sorry Nosa but you were kind of a jerk. Look on the bright side though, now’s your chance to redeem yourself in my eyes, like Hosonaga has!

Old man Korekuna’s armed and pissed!

Nosa I’m sorry. It’s best to throw yourself on his mercy now before I rile him up more. Use your baby to calm him if you must.

NICE CATCH NOSA!

I take everything back, Nosa your complete safe, old man Korekuna has no idea how to use that thing.

Ah, I forgot he was proficient in vase!

(Which I forgot to screenshot)

Never mind Nosa, you’re still screwed!

That is the right face to pull (Nosa not Hosonaga):

Look at him in the corner there. I feel bad now.

It was theft wasn’t it?

...oh Nosa what have you done?

(Kept food on his kids plate probably, given how he can’t afford childcare)

Nosa’s now accusing his infant son of being the mastermind... Sure Nosa, everyone’s bying that.

Either accusing a baby is a panic response, or I don’t need to feel so bad anymore.

Hosonaga how did you not immediately catch this guy?

HE SLIPPED THE COIN UNDER THE STEAK SO IT WOULDN’T BE FOUND WHEN HE WAS SEARCHED!

MISS BRETT’S TRYING TO WEASLE HER WAY OUT TO LUNCH AGAIN!

Oh thank god!

I thought for one terrible second we were letting her go.

(I’ve say it before and I’ll probably say it again, this is an intense first case)

Yes! ‘Her’ steak had a big bite mark in it!

But I thought and English Lady like yourself wouldn’t eat steak that way Miss Brett?

Of course, there’s a difference between the two photos.

I knew I could see the glass in the first one, which means it was taken before Miss Brett rearranged the table!

Oh, now Nosa’s saying that he switched the plates.

I must admit I didn’t expect that, I thought it was something Miss Brett did to remove the bloody evidence.

She’s cracking!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

YEEEEAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!

IT WAS ALIVE!!!

BABIES!!!

BABIES EVERYWHERE!

Oh god... what’s she planning.

Your honour, she’s already poisoned one person, do you want to be next?

Kiss my ass Miss Brett

Get used to it Auchi.

HAHA!

DAMN KAZUMA

(Editor Note: I am very upset by how poorly my screenshots conveyed Kazuma destroying Auchi’s hairdo with his sword)

Also, were you always hot Kazuma?

Wait no - I can’t be thinking that. The bar for fictional men I like is the floor and if I want Kazuma to continue to live a long, happy, non morally ambiguous life, I need him to not fall into the category of ‘fictional men I find hot’.

For some reason, I picture it being blue and spiky your honour

Wait what’s this about Kazuma having a mission?

Oh fucking hell, I’ve doomed you to moral ambiguity haven’t I Kazuma?

Thank you for the backhanded compliment your honour!

Ooh, petals rather than confetti, that’s a nice touch!

We did it!!!

And most importantly of all, we’re being praised by Kazuma!

Susato! Our saviour! Has turned up, along with her father: the innocent Professor Mikotoba, who I would like to thank and to reiterate that he could never kill anyone!

Seriously though, what was the relationship between him an Dr Wilson?

Ah ok, I simply just had to click on to find out.

So apparently the two of them worked together in the same hospital in London for a while.

OH MY GOD KAZUMA’S TAKING THE SWORD WITH HIM TO GREAT BRITAIN!!!

YES KAZUMA! F THEM UP!!!

(Also if your journey tragically ends in the customs office there’s a non-dead-Kazuma reason for me to go in your place.)

Oh fuck, she got off didn’t she...

I knew it

Of fucking course...

So basically she’s going to get off with a slap on the wrist. That’s what I’m getting from all of this.

Yep

Ah, but what you’ve failed to understand Kazuma is that the British Government and 99% of those people in power, are hypocritical dirtbags who will change the rules to suit them.

OK TEAM LETS GO GET HER ASS!!!

FINAL BOSS! FINAL BOSS!

Now on to the party with Kazuma!

And also Hosonaga apparently. Who is clinging onto his waiter job even though the case he was investigating is solved. Look like Ryunosuke was right about money being tight.

Hosonaga, do you not have a job anymore?

Were your superiors upset when you said ‘fuck the government’ and bought Miss Brett to us? Or was it your one man forensics team shtick that upsets them?

Oh yeah, we never did find that out did we?

Kazuma Asogi I forbid you from charging me with looking after your sister, of for that matter anything, incase something happens to you!

Fortunatly for us Hosonaga is here! Diving in-front of that Kazuma shaped plot bullet with promises of food!

Ryunosuke over here, taking the cases final moments to roast Hosonaga.

I think we’re even now Satoru, my second favorite character.

I don’t want to click to the next text box.

OH FUCK!

Oh wait, false alarm everyone!

I genuinely thought that the case was going to end with something like: but little did I realize that he never would.

Anyway that’s enough worrying about Kazuma! For now let’s enjoy the fact we’ve finished this bastard hard first case!

We’re moving on to Episode 2: The Adventure of the Unbreakable Speckled Band next!

#tgaa spoilers #tgaa #the great ace attorney #the adventure of the great departure #ryunosuke naruhodo #kazuma asougi #satoru hosonaga #jezaille brett #susato mikotoba #yuujin mikotoba

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bellasweetwriting · 4 years

Text

Black Coffee

Spencer Reid x f.reader

(not my gif)

masterlist

Request: I just saw your post about wanting to write for reid. could i request a fluffy fic about reid falling for a barista at a local coffee shop and the. he realizes she also works at his favorite bookstore or record store? ahhh i’m sorry it’s a lot ! thank you in advance!

warnings: some criminal minds stuff but mostly just fluff

word count: 1290

— • • • —

Morgan and Emily arrived at the office with coffees for everyone. They started giving them out, and Spencer was the only one that questioned that selfless action.

"What's this?" Asked the Doctor, drinking from the black coffee that was given to him. "What's the occasion?"

"There's this new coffee shop around the block and Morgan and I decided to try it, then we bought coffee for the team."

Reid nodded. He knew which coffee shop they were talking about, and he had visited also but decided to keep that information to himself.

"Prentiss, Morgan—" called them Hotch—" thanks for the coffee. Everyone conference room. JJ has a case for us."

"And the day couldn't get better."

The team entered the conference room and sat in their usual seats, Reid was doodling the handwriting of the barista on his cup, unfocused of the victims in the screen.

"Three victims, three of them blonde, two seventeen-year-olds and one with forty six."

"How does that murder connects with the other two?" Asked Morgan. "We sure it's the same killer?"

"The two blondes, Amanda and Alice, were best friends and both had another friend who's the daughter of the forty-six-year-old woman called Marie. That’s how they were connected. Besides, it's the same signature, same way of placing the body on the ground... same guy."

"And how does her daughter look like?" JJ projected the photo of a seventeen-year-old girl with brown hair. "Huh... interesting. Wheels up in 30."

— • • • —

The team caught their unsub. It was the daughter Gabriella’s boyfriend Jason who found out that her friends were talking bad behind their back and her mother was abusing her psychologically. He was trying to get rid of all the bad and hypocrite people in Gabriella’s life, thinking by killing them he was saving his girlfriend from these double-sided people on her life.

"I think we should celebrate, " interfered Garcia with a tiny smile, "we have work tomorrow so no drinks but, the coffee shop you mentioned is still opened. We can eat some doughnuts and I'm definitely craving for a lemon cake."

"It's too late, baby girl, " said Morgan, "tomorrow morning."

No one joined Penelope’s plan except Reid, who quickly stood up when everyone left and reached Garcia on the elevator.

"I'll join you, " he said in a hurry, and she smiled. "I’m starving for some coffee"

"Me too. The coffee this morning was so good." Spencer nodded. How could he tell her he wasn't going to that coffee shop only for the black coffee they served.

Both sat down at the counter and started talking about the case and how they caught the guy. Spencer tried to show Penelope how Morgan entered the unsub’s house with the sugar bags and she cackled as she heard how Derek almost tripped with a piece of furniture as he was going to catch the guy.

"Doctor, " you called him from the other side of the counter, confusing Garcia, "if I didn't know you better I would’ve said you are following me." Garcia quickly noted how Spencer got nervous. "But as I said, I know you. Black coffee."

"Please, Y/N, and a latte for my friend Garcia."

"The tech analyst?" You questioned.

"Actually, technical analyst, but close, " corrected you Spencer with a tiny smile. "How you’ve been, Y/N? What happened to the record store?"

You used to work at Reid’s favorite record store, and before that, you worked at his favorite bookstore. You kept crossing paths with him. Now you worked at the coffee shop near the BAU office.

"Got fired. I put Pink Floyd on the speakers of the store and I accidentally poured coffee on the controls and destroyed the panel." Reid laughed, nearly choking on coffee. Garcia looked at him really confused.

He has never spent so much time without spilling random facts or acting weird. He was acting cool and that was weird from him.

"That's such a Y/N thing to do." You giggled.

"Oh, Morgan and Prentiss were here yesterday and you are completely right, he does flirt with every girl." Reid nodded after you finished telling. "It's so good to finally meet you, Penelope, heard so much about you."

"Same thing, Y/N." And with that, you left to another table, leaving Garcia and Spencer alone. "Who is she?"

"You can't tell the team, Garcia, " said quickly the doctor as he inhaled deeply. "As soon as I tell them about her the tiny amount of privacy I've gained this last three months is going downhill."

"Ok, fine, I won't. This is why you wanted to come here?" He nodded. "You like her!"

"Shh!" Spencer quickly shushed her friend with his eyes wide open. "Don't shout, Garcia!"

"I can't believe you like her, " she whispered, excited about this new discovery. "You talked to her about us?"

"Yeah, " Reid murmured with a tiny smile forming on his face, "she’s the best and she listens to everything I say, including the nonsense babbling. Do you think I got a chance?"

"Uhm, yeah! She’s crazy about you. You should ask her out. Look, I'm gonna go with my lemon cake and my coffee to the office so you can be alone with her." Reid quickly started shaking his head but Garcia was already leaving. There was no coming back.

A few seconds later, you approached the daughter placing the rag on your shoulder, glancing confused over Spencer who seemed really nervous.

"Everything good, Doc?" You asked and he gave you a nervous smile. "What's up with the tech?"

"She had to leave. Work on a case, " he lied even though he was a terrible liar.

"Shouldn't you be leaving too, then?"

"Oh, no, no... it wasn't my case... it wasn't... it was hers, " he stuttered making you chuckle a bit. "Hey, Y/N."

"Spencer, " you called him too to release the tension.

"Would you want to go out sometime?" He asked quickly, taking to by surprise.

"With you?" He nodded. "I would love to. Actually, my shift ends in ten minutes. You maybe wanna catch a movie or something?"

"I would love that."

— • • • —

Spencer arrived late to work the next day, he looked tired and he had bags under his eyes, barely even able to stand on both feet.

"What train ran you over, pretty boy?" Asked Morgan, getting the attention of the whole team. "You look terrible."

"Thanks, Derek, " he said trying not to close his eyes. "I stayed up late."

"Adding numbers or some?" Questioned Derek again sitting on top of Spencer’s desk.

"I had a date."

Those four words gained the attention of everyone. Spencer Reid had a date. That couldn't be possible.

"Oh my God! She said yes!?" Yelled Garcia and Reid nodded with a smile. "I knew it!"

"You know this girl, Garcia?" Asked Emily and Penelope nodded.

"Yeah, I do, " admitted her while Reid smiled. "How was it, Reid?"

"We went to the movies, then we had food and then I drove her home and kissed her." Penelope couldn't hold the excitement. "Calm down, Garcia."

"When are you going out again?"

"Tomorrow, " replied Spencer. "I went to the coffee shop this morning and asked her out again. She said yes and gave me a black coffee with my name on the cup."

"You asked the barista out?" Questioned Emily. "What's even going on?"

"She drew a little heart next to the «r», " whispered Penelope with a big smile, almost melting by the action. "She's perfect."

"I know, " whispered Spencer, drinking from the cup with a tiny smile, thinking of what happened the night before with you.

requested by: @artcozy

#spencer reid #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #fanfic #fanfiction #y/n #reid #pov

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itsclydebitches · 3 years

Note

Some of my friends in the RWBY FNDM actually said people don’t forgive their friends for betraying them (Jaune killing Penny) but will forgive strangers betraying them (Em killing Penny). Uh…NO. Being close and attached to someone leads to bias. People are more willing to see someone they don’t know as evil for hurting them BECAUSE THEY DON’T KNOW THAT PERSON. They said this as an excuse to why RWBY will be pissed at Jaune. NOPE! (1/2)

I think it can go either way depending on the person, or in this case the character. People aren't so uniform that they'll have a single, predictable response to someone's actions depending on whether they're in the "friend" or "stranger" category, to say nothing of the complexities of figuring out when one moves from one category to the other. (Is Ozpin the beloved and respected headmaster they look up to, or a virtual stranger whose age and power makes him someone the group never would have seriously connected with? The fandom is divided.) But that connection (or lack thereof) can go in either direction. It might make it easier to forgive them, or it might make it seemingly impossible. I've been replaying Witcher's Blood & Wine where Anna Henrietta is so relieved to have her sister back that she's blind to the horrors she's committed - love make forgiveness an inevitability. I'm also rewatching Criminal Minds where Reid is furious with JJ for keeping Prentiss' secret from him, specifically because they're so close and JJ was the one to comfort him over Prentiss' "death" - love makes forgiveness that much harder. And it's the same with strangers. If someone you're less close to commits a horrible act, you might respond with pure disgust because who are they to you? Nobody. They're defined only by that one action. Or, their distance might make it easier to forgive them once you have gotten to know them a bit, simply because the action didn't, at the time, feel personal. You know the version of them now, the one that "counts," the one you're emotionally attached to. I don't think it's an either/or situation here, where there's a correct answer of "Yes characters will get angry if they're close to the person in question" or "No characters will be less angry if they're close to them." It depends on the individual, the action, the circumstances, the state of mind of the person trying to grant forgiveness, and a hundred other, smaller factors. If Yang did something horrible, would Blake be less willing to forgive her because they're so close, or more willing because they are? That depends on a whole range of things from "What exactly did Yang do?" to "Has Blake eaten and slept and generally not been stressed out of her mind lately, making her less likely to lash out?" It, to be blunt, comes down to good, nuanced writing.

Which is why the Jaune situation is... complicated. And sadly, RWBY doesn't do well with complicated. Free of the rest of Volume 8, my mind says the group has to be mad. How can they not? Even if Jaune had a 100% solid reason for killing Penny with no possible way to blame him - which, let's be frank, he doesn't. The guy has a healing semblance and just took her word that it was useless - it's not in our nature to approach a tragedy with that level of logical maturity (especially not after the crazy level of trauma that's been going on: Salem, battles, falling to their "deaths."). You don't have a friend admit they killed another friend and immediately go, "Oh yeah. Makes sense. Had to be done. No worries!" and move on with your life. You at least start with some anger, whether it's rational or not, deserved or not. People harbor anger over deaths that we know, realistically, are not the fault of another person involved, we resent people who survived over others even though we know they had no control over it, and we even hate ourselves for hating that person, because we know it's not fair and we're feeling it anyway. If we have all that complexity tied up in deaths that are unambiguously not the fault of the person in question... what do you do with the guy who straight up agreed to an assisted suicide? Gave up on healing or retreat? Was the one to drag his sword across Penny's throat? The fandom recognized that scene as something intensely complicated, made worse by ineffectual writing. We knew, the second it had finished, that Jaune was not an easily categorized innocent here who should be treated solely as a victim of horrible circumstances. There's a very good reason why the fandom went, "What the fuck, Jaune" because this entire situation is so. messed. up. I'm not saying all this to paint Jaune as some irredeemable monster or anything, but rather to highlight that there should be a huge range of emotions coming off of this action. Whether we the audience or the characters decide what he did was the right thing or not, Jaune's actions are still objectively horrifying. He killed Penny. Was it necessary? Given RWBY's shoddy writing, idk, but that's not the point for an initial reaction. The point is, "How would you respond if you found out Friend A helped Friend B commit suicide, right after you'd worked so hard to keep Friend B alive, after she'd already come back from the dead?" The answer should be, "Uh, not well. Not well at all."

But this is RWBY. There should have been a range of emotions to Jinn's vision in Volume 6, but there wasn't. There should have been a range of emotions to Penny's resurrection, but there wasn't. There should have been a more persuasive reason for Jaune to kill Penny, a better job of stripping away other options, but there wasn't. Arguably, Penny shouldn't have died at all, not after being brought back, getting the Maiden powers, being made human... but she was. This situation is already a mess but then, as you say, anon, we have Emerald on top of it all. I mentioned above that it's "Free of the rest of Volume 8" that the group should be mad at Jaune, but obviously that's not how the story goes. I can't separate Emerald from the rest of this and yeah, it looks ridiculous for the group to have a long arc of hating Jaune after they forgave Emerald in, what? An hour? We can talk about that context all we want, but at the end of the day, Emerald's actions were too horrific to shrug off as they were and Jaune's action is also too horrific to shrug off. RWBY has, once again, backed itself into a corner. What the story actually needed was for Emerald to get a full redemption arc, allowing the group to process, grapple with, and learn to forgive her past actions through apologies and new actions to demonstrate growth, so that they could then later do a modified version of that with Jaune, one tailored to his character, their characters, and this new situation. The story needs the group to be mad at both of them because both did things that would generate different types of anger. But because Emerald was granted laughter almost immediately upon arriving at the mansion, yeah, it would read as absurd for the group to go through a whole arc of learning how to forgive Jaune... even though Jaune's actions arguably do need some kind of forgiveness arc. The situation is screwed either way. If the group forgives him quickly it's, "Really? He killed Penny and that's it? No one is going to struggle with that? That's absurd!" and if the group doesn't quickly forgive him it's, "Really? You'll insta-forgive the woman who has been trying to kill you for years, but won't grant the same thing to your friend who only took that action with good intentions? That's absurd!" And if the focus is on Jaune being mad at himself, we're right back to where we were in Volume 4: Jaune mourning a redhead in his life and getting too much focus. I really don't think there's a good solution here, which (as my more recent posts speak to), we're seeing more and more as the series goes on. The more material we get and the more shoddily that material is written, the more we're going to see future situations where we go, "I don't like any of the writing options here, because of something that happened in a previous volume." RWBY has created a situation where the group very much deserves to be angry - or at the very least conflicted - over Jaune's actions, but because it's following on the heels of Hazel, Emerald, and their own horrific choices across Volume 7 and 8, any anger will feel hollow, hypocritical. But isn't that what we're left with? We've been here since the beginning of Volume 7 when Ruby repeated Ozpin's secrets and the story never acknowledged that either she's as bad as he is, or he's not as bad as they believed. We've been watching a show built on that hollow hypocrisy for at least two years (longer, really) and it's just getting worse the more the story introduces sensitive material and then doesn't appropriately follow up on it.

#suicide tw #death tw #rwby #rwde #mymetas

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ins0mnia-an0nym0us-au · 4 years

Text

let’s talk about TUA fandom

y’all are hypocritical - let’s just get it out there.

before you start typing out some angry comments or coming in my ask-box lemme explain my reasoning here.

LUTHER HARGREEVES

Luther is one of the most hated characters in this fandom for some unknown reason to me. He is just another victim in all of this and as much as all of you want to blame everything on his actions, he simply acted in what he thought were the best interests of everyone. Luther showed his trauma in the same way the rest did.

In my opinion, Luther is one of the most underrated characters in The Umbrella Academy because all of you are too busy with your thirsting after Diego or uWu-ing over Klaus to notice him.

So here is Luther’s trauma broken down for all of you.

Luther was doomed from the moment he was chosen to be Number One, it’s that simple. From the very moment Reginald chose him, he had no chance, because he had the expectation of being the best put on his shoulders by a man who was never going to see any of them as anything less than worthless.

But Luther was determined to live up to his name, to be what his father wanted him to be – to be Number One.

Because for Luther he was sure everything that Reginald was doing was out of love. But I think Luther deep down knew that their father didn’t love them, but he needed to believe it was out of love, he couldn’t stand the thought of it being anything but love, because if it wasn’t love then it wasn’t worth it. He needed it to be worth it.

We got a glimpse of that in season one when he found all the packages he sent to Reginald. He never had any friends, he never left the house, he gave up his entire life for his father and the mission he believed in. Because he needed to believe it was worth it and when he found out it wasn’t – well, he had thrown his entire life away for what? It wasn’t because their father loved them or believed in them. So what was it?

Just to prove to all of you that Luther is more like his siblings than you all want to admit, here are some comparisons -

LUTHER: needed the moon to have a reason behind it, so much so that his obsession put others in danger. He also couldn’t face it when it turned out his mission was for nothing - so he regressed to his old behavior of thinking his father was right.

DIEGO: needed to be the hero, even though I’m almost positive Diego isn’t a complete idiot and knows that dramatically changing history would be bad - aka saving JFK could make the timeline explode, he needed to save him. So much so he was willing to put all of his siblings in jeopardy.

LUTHER: was told from the beginning he was the leader and that being Number One meant that he had to be the best. Because of this he had an inflated sense of importance. It just meant he had a higher distance to fall when he finally realized that it all meant nothing. He also doesn’t take their opinions or plans seriously because he’s Number One and his plans are superior.

FIVE: is a cocky little shit, who is insistent he is the smartest person around and he might be. But he views everyone around him as lesser, that includes his siblings. He has spent his entire time in the apocalypse trying to get back to save his siblings but still treats them like garbage. He also never lets his siblings in on anything that’s happening, he never sits them down and explains anything, and when they try to contribute with a plan or a theory he looks at them like they are stupid.

LUTHER: was sent to the moon, alone, with no one to talk to. Before that he had no friends his age, his only companions were Grace, his father, and Pogo. He’s been alone for a long time.

VANYA: has been alone for a lot longer than Luther - but trauma is not a competition and they both have dealt with it differently. I just wanted to point out these two similarities between the two characters.

LUTHER: is desperate for love and affection from his father. Everything he has done has been to get Reginalds approval and love but none of it has ever worked. He got small glimpses of things, like his dad’s favorite spot under a tree, so maybe he got a bit closer than the others but it was not real love.

ALLISON: is desperate for love and affection in general - hence her stardom. She needs attention, she feeds on it. It isn’t until she has Claire that I think she truly understands that everything until then has been fake. The unconditional love of a child made her realize that all of that fake love and affection is no match for real love.

LUTHER: has probably felt like a monster since before his transformation - having super-strength means having to be very careful with your own body. But after the transformation must’ve been so much worse.

BEN: literally has a monster inside of him and has always felt like a monster. The difference is he has openly spoken about feeling like a monster.

LUTHER: has always been in control of himself. He is the exact opposite of Klaus in how he uses control to deal with trauma. Luther needs control in order to deal with trauma.

KLAUS: has no control and he does not want it. To deal with trauma Klaus loses control by using drugs and alcohol but he also uses it to control his powers.

So now that I’ve gotten through the siblings a bit, let’s talk about another topic that has a bit of hypocrisy behind it -

ALLISON X LUTHER

For some reason this ship is very despised in the fandom, I don’t know if it’s because of the fact that one part of it is Luther but a lot of the reasons I see are just - ‘ew, they’re siblings’.

Yet, most of the ships in TUA fandom are of the siblings being paired together.

Five x Vanya [fics on ao3 - 372]

Diego x Klaus [fics on ao3 - 687]

Ben x Klaus [fics on ao3 - 311]

The only other ships that top these are -

Dave x Klaus [fics on ao3 - 1409]

Diego x Patch [fics on ao3 - 434]

And let’s be really honest for a second here - them being in any romantic relationship with each other, is not weird. None of them are biologically related to one another. They were just raised in the same household as one another and told to treat each other as siblings. If they had never been adopted by Reginald Hargreeves and met randomly on the side of the road, this discussion would be moot.

I find the Five x Vanya ship much more disturbing if I’m being honest, simply because most of the fics ship a fully grown Vanya, in the body of a 31-ish year old, with Five - who while mentally is like in his 60s or whatever, is back in his 13 year old body. If Vanya did ever get with Five before his body turned 18, it would be statutory rape.

Let’s also just for a second list some other fandom pairings that are pretty popular that people ship that have the same ‘we grew up as siblings but we aren’t biologically related’ trope.

Thor x Loki [fics on ao3 - 10894]

Eren x Mikasa [fics on ao3 - 1221]

John Marston x Arthur Morgan [fics on ao3 - 651]

Max x Alec [fics on ao3 - 357]

Iris x Barry [fics on ao3 - 3689]

It’s incredibly strange to me how unpopular Allison x Luther is - especially since it’s actually canon in the comics. Granted, some things from the comics of course should change or be adapted, but the chemistry between Tom Hopper and Emmy Raver-Lampman is just spectacular, especially during the dance scene in The Day That Wasn't.

I absolutely loved that scene (still mad it’s nowhere on youtube). I felt like we got to see Luther both as how Allison sees him and for a moment he was out of his head with Allison, relaxed and just himself.

If you just don’t ship it, just say you don’t ship it.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Alright. I think my duty as a member of the Luther-Protection squad is finished. If you can’t see your hypocrisy after this post, I really don’t know what to tell you. If you would like to have a calm discussion about why you think I’m wrong or right, I’m willing to talk about it. However, anyone who comes at me just spewing vitriol or that I’m so stupid will not be taken seriously, if you can’t have a calm discussion about things then I won’t take you seriously.

I do want to say though - I understand having favorite characters, I’m a sucker for characters that are only held back from destroying the world by a hug (Vanya). But I’m also someone who loves to look at the entire picture and appreciate the depth of each character in a series, even the ones I hate. In fact - some of my favorite characters were ones I hated and the actors/actresses soon became my favorite because it takes a lot of talent to make people hate you.

So for a moment, really think if you hate Luther Hargreeves or if you dislike his actions and if it’s his actions, who you really should hate is Reginald Hargreeves because all Luther has ever done has been a reaction to trauma - exactly like the rest of his siblings.

#the umbrella academy fandom #the umbrella academy #the umbrella academy season 2 #tua2 #tua #spoilers #i'm calling y'all out #luther hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #ben hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #five hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #trauma #reginald hargreeves #luther x allison #dumbasses being dumbasses #they are all stupid

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crusherthedoctor · 3 years

Note

Can we have some unpopular Sonic opinions?

I tried to cram in a lot, so I hope this satisfies you. :P I tried to stick to the ones that I haven't brought up quite as often, since by this point, we all know that I think IDW's storytelling is dire, SA2's story is overrated, X Eggman is an embarrassing portrayal (at least from season 2 onwards), Blaze shouldn't be handcuffed to Silver, Shadow's backstory had issues with or without the Black Arms, Neo Metal Sonic looks silly, etc. But anyway, here we go:

- Knuckles may be tricky to incorporate into plots that don't relate to Angel Island, but making him obsessed with his duties is no better than having him forget about Angel Island entirely.

- I like Marine, and never found her annoying. Oh, I understood what they were trying to do with her, but I honestly wasn't put off by her, and found her Aussie lingo more endearing if anything. Since her debut was during the period in my life where where I couldn't stand Sonic himself, I instead thought he was irritating (and hypocritical) for getting annoyed with her for doing shit he would often be guilty of.

- Silver is just as guilty of being shoehorned into games and plots as the Deadly Six are. Having more fans than the latter is irrelevant, since we're still talking about a character who constantly has to time travel in order to be present.

- Speaking of Silver, if he has to stick around, please do something different with him. They've pulled the doomed future routine multiple times now, and it's been boring every single time. I wasn't interested when it involved Iblis. I wasn't interested when it involved Knuckles drinking the edgy Kool Aid. I wasn't interested when it involved a council of dumbasses... give it a rest already.

- The Tails Doll can work as a mildly creepy thing, with maybe more to it than meets the eye when it's time for a boss fight or what have you. But the memes about him stealing your soul are just dumb, and I thought it was dumb even back in my teenage youth.

- “Eggman is supposed to be clownish!” Yeah, well he's also meant to be a genuine villain with a 300 IQ. These qualities don't have to be mutually exclusive.

- “Sonic is supposed to have attitude!” Yeah, well that's not the same thing as being an absolute cunt. Sonic was only ever meant to come off as having an edge compared to Mario. He was never meant to be a GTA-tier protagonist.

- Rouge is not a villain, and never was a villain. Literally the whole point of her role in SA2 was to reveal that she was working against Eggman and Shadow the whole time, albeit using sneakier tactics to do so. You'd think all those people who exult SA2's story would remember this, but apparently not. She barely even qualifies as an anti-hero, since aside from stealing the Master Emerald, she rarely does anything morally questionable otherwise. She's got a lot more good in her than people give her credit for.

- Captain Whisker is a better Eggman Nega than the actual Eggman Nega. And as far as robot characters in this franchise go, Johnny's design is pretty underrated.

- I don't like Iblis or Mephiles, but I DO like Solaris, and it annoys me that it was out of focus for most of the story due to all the time spent on its less interesting halves. Had they kept the backstory with the Duke and his experiments, and worked from there, I think they could have provided an interesting contrast with Chaos (since Solaris can also qualify as a monster with a sympathetic backstory) instead of recycling the surface level schtick.

- Black Doom may technically be just as bad as Mephiles, Nega, Scourge, Mimic, etc, since he's yet another villain with one-note characterization and fucked over Eggman. But because he never gained a disproportionate fandom, he doesn't annoy me to the same extent. It's easier to ignore him by comparison, and his Dr. Claw voice and face shaped like a lady's delicate part make him enjoyable to mock.

- Likewise, while Lyric is also on the same level as these other villains, it's easier to dismiss him because I was never invested in the Boom games anyway, and being an obvious alternate universe (compared to Sonic X or IDW, which retain the Modern designs and plot elements), it never had an effect on the main series. I also unironically like his design, and if nothing else, at least this snake didn't start a hypnotism fetish across the internet.

- Sally - and the rest of the Freedom Fighters for that matter - have had their importance in the franchise severely inflated. They may have been lucky to be the face of popular media (SatAM and Archie), but they're not these magnificent entities that the game characters are but a speck of dust in comparison to. Having a “legacy” doesn't make them more entitled to shit than any other character, old or new.

- Conceptually, the treasure hunting gameplay is one of the better alternate gameplay styles IMO. But it was let down in SA2 by its one track minded radar (the levels may have been big, but I don't think that would have been an issue on its own if the radar was better). If they brought it back and made it more like SA1's treasure hunting, I'd be all for it, although it would probably be better suited for a spinoff title.

- This goes for a lot of games, but when it comes to 2D, I prefer sprites over models. Not that the Rush models are bad (though the ones in Chronicles sure as fuck are), but the sprites in Mania and the Advance trilogy are just so charming and full of character.

- I actually like Marble Zone. Yeah, the level design is a bit blocky, but I love the concept of an underground temple prison, mixed with lava elements in a zone that otherwise isn't a traditional volcano level.

- I also like Sandopolis Zone. Again, completely understand why it's not the most popular zone around, but I've been a sucker for the Ancient Egyptian aesthetic since childhood (you can thank Crash 3 for that), and Act 1 is visually stunning.

- I prefer the JP soundtrack for Sonic CD over the US version overall... but I also prefer Sonic Boom over You Can Do Anything.

- SA2's soundtrack isn't bad by any means - I love Rouge's tracks, and The Last Scene is one of my favourite pieces of music - but as far as variety goes, it's a step down from SA1's soundtrack.

- If Sonic X-Treme had been released, it probably would have been unenjoyable and confusing. Whatever your thoughts on SA1, it was probably the better option between the two as far as Sonic's first legitimate translation into 3D goes.

- I have no qualms with Modern Sonic and the other Modern designs and characters, but I also fully acknowledge that changing gears from Adventure onwards - and doing it with a great amount of fanfare - was always going to create one of the biggest divides in the fandom, and fans shouldn't act surprised that this happened. The fact that they felt the need to hype up a new design and direction in the first place (compared to Mario, who has mostly been the same since the beginning, with only the occasional minor change with little fanfare) also indicates that they weren't confident enough in Sonic and his universe being the way it was, which often gets ignored by all the “SEGA have no confidence!!!” complaints you see with their recent games.

- Unleashed did not deserve the incredibly harsh reviews it received back in the day... but it doesn't deserve its current sacred cow status either. It had more effort put into it than '06 to be sure, and I can respect that, but much of it was misguided effort, and even if you like the Werehog, you have to admit that the idea came at the absolute worst time. The intro cutscene may be awesome, as is the Egg Dragoon fight, but 2% doesn't make up the entire game. Chip was also quite annoying, and I wasn't particularly sad when he pressed F in the chat at the end.

- On the other hand, while Colours definitely has its shortcomings, and people have every right to criticse those shortcomings, a lot of its most vocal detractors tend to have a stick up their arse about the game because people actually enjoyed it, and it had a gimmick that people actually liked. Yes, it may have been the first game to have those writers everyone hates, but then SA1 was the first game to give the characters alternate gameplay styles and have other villains upstage Eggman, so...

- Forces is absolutely not on the level of '06. It's nowhere close. A game being flawed does not make it the next '06, clickbait YouTubers. Or should I say, the game they want to retroactively apply '06's reception to, since they've been trying hard to magically retcon '06's own quality...

- To echo @beevean, ALL of the 3D stories have their issues. SA1 is probably the most well-rounded of them on the whole, but even that one isn't perfect.

- To echo another opinion, although I do love SA1, I'm not crazy over the idea of a remake, and would prefer them to just take Sonic's gameplay from SA1 and work from there. Because with a remake, you're stuck in a hard spot: Do you keep it the way it is bar the expected graphical upgrades, and risk accusations of not doing anything to actually improve the experience? Or do you try to address past criticisms, and risk the wrath of the fans who will inevitably go on a #NotMyAdventure crusade about it? What people fail to consider is that the Crash and Spyro remakes were accepted gracefully because their original iterations were still unanimously beloved for the most part, whereas SA1 - and especially SA2 - have always been divisive, and have only gotten moreso over the years.

- People take their preferences for the character's voice actors too seriously. I have my own favourites like anyone else, but I don't make a big deal out of it.

- And with fandom voice actors, they usually focus too much on doing a basic impression of their preferred official voice actor, and not enough on the acting. So you end up getting a lot of fan voices who sound like decent impressions of Ryan Drummond or Jason Griffith on the surface, but they sound utterly empty beyond that impression, because there's no oomph or depth to the actual emotions. They think about the actor rather than the character, when it should really be the other way around.

- The thing with Ian Flynn is that he is capable of telling a decent story, and he can portray some characters well. But he's proven time and time again that everything will go off the rails if he's given too much freedom (ironic, given how quick he is to point the finger at mandates when something goes wrong).

- Ian Flynn and Shiro Maekawa are not the only people in the world who are allowed to write for Sonic. I understand that one should be cautious when seeking out new writing talent, but for all the fandom's accusations of playing it safe, they sure aren't in a rush to experiment outside of their own comfort zone.

- And of course, the big one: You don't fix the franchise's current problems by crawling back to its previous problems. It's much more helpful and constructive to discuss the good and bad alike with each of the games. Less “THIS GOOD, MODERN BAD”, and more “This could work, but maybe without that part...”

#Crusher's Asks #Opinion #Sonic the Hedgehog

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slutforagoodsmut · 3 years

Text

Pinky Promise (Valerius x Reader)

Genre: Angst, In da feelings ;-;

Song: By Ellise

You were tired, to say the least. Tired and frustrated and basically over everything. You had given your all to Valerius; your attention, dedication and love, and yet that never seemed to be enough. He wanted more, so much more than you could ever offer. He wanted someone with status, he wanted someone with power, and you simply didn’t have either.

Things were so good between you and the consel in the beginning. You loved him, and he loved you, and there was nothing else to it. You both understood each other, you adored one another, between the late night walks in the garden at the palace and the endless conversations, it’s almost as if you both were meant to be, almost as if it was destiny.

Yeah.....almost.

The love letters became scarce over time, the only thing Valerius ever talked about in his letters nowadays were when the next meetings were with the Countess, or what the plans were to better the economy. Don’t get me wrong, you enjoyed getting messages from him regardless, but it couldn’t help but sting a little. He didn’t hold your hand the way he used to, barely kissed you, he didn’t look at you with the same loving eyes, Gods—you practically had to beg him to spend the night with you. He was just so....cold. And you had enough. You felt like this was all so one sided, as if nothing mattered to Valerius anymore. Did he even ask how you were anymore? Did he ever say that he loved you? And the answer was no. You never wanted to admit it, but a hatred formed inside you for that man, it was quickly engulfing any love and affection you had for him. The nights were restless, you barely ate since your anxiety was so high, functioning during the day was near impossible. You didn’t want to believe things were over, you never wanted that. But what else could you possibly do? Were you truly the reason why this relationship has even lasted? Because you’ve never wanted things to end and Valerius was too coward to break things off?

“I believe that concludes our meeting for the month, speak up if you have any questions.” The Countess and your good friend Nadia stood from her seat. Consels from many other regions came to take part in this meeting, including Valerius. You sat near Nadia, all the way across from your “lover”, and in between Julian and Asra. You kept your eyes on Valerius the whole time, and not once did he look at you. Of course this was an important meeting, but still, he’d always throw you a little wink or smirk. Everyone around the table shook their heads, content with the material that was looked over for the next few months of trading. Many took their leave, only a few still lingering in the room, when a voice spoke up from behind you.

“Actually, Countess, I do have a couple of suggestions.”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes at Valerius. Of course he did. Of course he did. Nadia gave him her full attention, Valerius coming up beside you. “Yes, Consul Valerius?” It just so happened that his fingers brushed yours at your side, attempting to curl around them but you quickly pulled away. You felt his eyes burn into your head at the corner of your eye.

“Ah, yes, well, perhaps I could propose a different strategy to quicker trading routes? Maybe if our goods were boarded from a closer port in Pakra—”

“I will see you in the evening, Nadia.” You pushed passed Valerius, bumping into his shoulder as fury bubbled within you. That. That. That POMPOUS PRICK. You quickly made your way to your room, slamming the door behind you and groaning out in frustration. You were so confused, he sent so many mixed signals. He was so moody and harsh most days but those little gestures completely messed you up. What did he want? What does he want from you?

After a few minutes of pacing in your room, there was a banging on your door. Not a simple knock, but a bang. You went over to your door and swung it open, and it was non other than the consel. His gaze was harsh, his upper lip curled up into a snarl.

“What?” You narrowed your eyes.

“Whatever the fuck do you mean, what?” He spat. “What was that back there?” Valerius pointed down the hall.

“Nothing happened! You’re being dramatic!”

“Dramatic?” Valerius pushed his way inside your room and closed the door. “You shoved me in front of the Countess and many other consuls! Do you realize how that could spark rumors?”

“Are....are you joking?” You chuckled, shaking your head. “Are you delirious? You went to grab my hand in front of the countess! I merely bumped into you! How could that possibly spark rumors?”

“Anything could branch out into rumors!”

“So that makes you a hypocrite, yes?” You pointed your finger at Valerius, who for a second got his tongue tied in a knot and couldn’t speak. “Godforbid anyone finds out you’re in a relationship with the “witch”, your whole world would come crumbling down! Wouldn’t it?” You became progressively louder, grabbing books and chucking them all over the room. “Your social status! Your power! All of it would be stripped away! Some days you act like you hate me, others you act like I’m the greatest person to walk the earth!” You got closer to Valerius, staring up at him as your fists shook, tears pricking your eyes. “What in the ever living fuck did I do to you? What is it? What is so embarrassing about me that others can’t know about us?”

Furious wasn’t even the right word you would describe Valerius’ face right now. It was contorted into such an angry, flustering mess, as if he were caught up in his own web of lies and hypocrisies. “They just.....can’t.”

“I....” You were dumbfounded, to say the least. “I’m over this...”

“Of course you are, it’s always how you end our arguments—“

“No, I mean this,” you gestured to the both of you, furrowing your brows, “this isn’t working. We fight, we scream at each other, nothing is solved. I’m done with having my emotions toyed with.”

A flash of shock gleamed across Valerius’ eyes, stepping back a bit. “What are you saying?”

You stepped back yourself, taking in a deep breath, trying to get your shit back together before blowing like a volcano again.

I gotta ask you a question

Can you see through me

See how I’m feeling?

Is it easy to tell?

You looked away from him, squeezing your eyes shut as you moved passed Valerius, opening the door and leaving your own room.

“Come back here!”

Cause you’re making plans and it’s starting to scare me

I don’t think you notice I’m not doing well

You know me, I’ve been patient

It’s been hard

It’s wearing me down

You peered over your shoulder, throwing him a sharp, hateful look as you walked down the hall. “Wait a second!” He grabbed your shoulder as you turned the corner, but you smacked his arm away, turning to face him on your heel.

So I’m sorry

But caring ‘bout you is getting so exhausting

Doing things I swore that I would never do

Never do

But I promise you, I promise you

I promise to be honest

Cause honestly boy I don’t even want this

Doing things I swore that I would never do

Never do

But I promise you

I pinky promise I don’t love you anymore

Despite your harsh words, Valerius continued to follow you down the halls of the Vesuvia Palace, attempting to grab your attention again. “For heavens sake can you just stop for a moment?” His voice thick with fear.

We’re both in different places

And I need some space

And we’re probably better not talking at all

You finally turned back around, your jaw clenched as your hands rested on his shoulders, holding him in his tracks.

Cause maybe I don’t deserve you

I don’t wanna hurt you

Can’t give you a smile if it’s just for a show

You know me, I’ve been patient

It’s been hard

It’s wearing me down

Tears finally slipped down your cheeks as you almost pressed against his warm, comforting body you slept against oh so many nights. Were you really doing this? Were you truly going to break things off?

So I’m sorry

But caring ‘bout you is getting so exhausting

Doing things I swore that I would never do

Never do

But I promise you, I promise you

I promise to be honest

Cause honestly boy I don’t even want this

Doing things I swore that I would never do

Never do

But I promise you

I pinky promise I don’t love you anymore

Valerius gulped, trying to swallow back any emotion that attempted to come up. He went to grab your waist with trembling hands but of course you pulled away, not giving him the chance to. You turned another corner, and before the both of you knew it you were headed into the ballroom.

“I—“

We talked about a future but now it’s in the past

I don’t regret the memories but knew they wouldn’t last

I know that’s it’s not easy to give up what we had

I made myself a promise and I’m not looking back...

“Please!” Valerius fell to his knees, grabbing your wrists and holding them tightly in his palms. “Please....don’t do this....things could change.” His head hung low, his shoulders shaking as his body racked with silent sobs. “Things could be better....” A silence fell over the both of you. You pressed your lips into a tight line, looking away as more tears threatened to mess with your vision some more. Gods, he looked so pathetic and vulnerable.

You pulled out of his grip.

So I’m sorry

But caring ‘bout you is getting so exhausting

Doing things I swore that I would never do

Never do

But I promise you, I promise you

I promise to be honest

You gripped your hair in frustration, stomping on the ground as your heart began to shatter into millions of pieces. This wasn’t fair! This wasn’t how things were suppose to go! He was suppose to be there forever, right?

Right....?

Cause honestly boy I don’t even want this

Doing things I swore that I would never do

Never do

But I promise you

“I pinky promise I don’t love you anymore....” Your hand clasped around your mouth. Unspoken words had come to life. Untold truths were out in the open. You didn’t love him anymore. Not in love with him at least. You wished him well in whatever he did, but this could not continue. The pounding of your heart rang in your ears and you attempted to wipe your endless tears away.

“I...just....” the consul just sat there, absolutely horrified. He was disheveled, his braid starting to tangle, his face streaked with tears, his eyes swollen and red. For a man of great honor and status, he certainly did not look like such. You stumbled back, choking on a sob as you turned your back on the man you once loved, rushing out so you could suffer this heartbreak alone in your room. He wasn’t going to chase you anymore. He wasn’t going to beg for you anymore. People must’ve saw your little scene with Valerius. He’d have a reputation to fight for.

I pinky promise I don’t love you anymore....

#valerius x reader #consul valerius #the arcana #angsty #crying in the club #this is a mess #i’m a mess #the arcana x reader

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deafblindshorty · 3 years

Text

Poe and Rey’s Underrated Friendship

I noticed that not a lot has been said about Poe and Rey’s friendship in TROS and related EU materials. That’s probably because it’s not the main focus, which I sort of understand. There are a lot of subtle moments of their friendship (even some hints towards a romantic relationship). Some of these points come from @greysmartwolf’s tumblr, others come from a discord server.

Disclaimer: I am not diminishing or minimalizing Finn’s importance to both Rey and Poe, but if it seems like it, then I’m sorry. That’s not my intent.

Let’s start from the beginning: Rey and Poe have a LOT of parallels throughout the trilogy (some of the same scenes, the same lines, they both face their past in TROS, they both blame themselves for the Resistance dying at Exegol, they almost gave up but two Rebel veterans gave them pep talks, etc). So, they have quite a bit in common including their love for flying and droids.

Also, about the age difference, age really doesn’t matter in Star Wars. Han and Leia are 13 years apart, Wedge is about ten years younger than Norra, and Snap is 16 years older than his wife Kare (He could be her father!). Huge age differences exist in other fictional materials set on our Earth- Brooke Taylor and her late husband from Legally Blonde are 34 years apart, Remus and Tonks from Harry Potter are 13 years apart, an old soap opera supercouple (Doug and Julie Williams from Days of Our Lives) are 20 years apart. As for friends, Will from Glee is in his 30s and is friends with a few 19-20 year olds and Sue who is in her 50s is besties with a 19/20 year old, 30 year old Launchpad from Ducktales is friends with 10 year old Dewey. So, 19/20 year old Rey being friends or dating 32/33 year old Poe isn’t that crazy or farfetched.

According to the TROS Visual Dictionary, Poe left BB-8 with Rey so she won’t feel lonely (and that’s probably also why BB-8 is with Rey on Tatooine).

Poe was the first man Rey met whom she didn’t physically attack upon meeting him, and also smiled when they introduced each other. I don’t recall her smiling that wide whenever she was with Finn or Kylo.

They get along well in Poe Dameron #26-27. Poe was even a bit flirty with Rey.

It was Poe’s idea to build a Jedi training course for Rey in Star Wars Adventures, so Poe understands the importance of Rey’s Jedi training.

Rey understands what Poe went through with Kylo ( Poe also calls them ”Torture buddies!”).

When Poe, Finn, and Chewie return from the Fortress of Hothitude (I can’t remember what that planet is called. lol), Poe was so happy to see Rey. The way he walked up to Rey, his smile and his hands on hips. He badly wants to impress Rey. Alpha male!

And right after that, they have their only argument throughout the entire film. Poe and Rey quarrel in TROS was because they both didn’t listen to each other. They really only fight over the Falcon and BB-8. They both care about each other a lot, don’t blame each other in anything (except the Falcon being on fire and BB-8 missing a disc) and admit when one of them was right in argue (but prefer not to tell about that). Then Rey ends up smiling at him and Poe ends the argument by complimenting Rey (”You’re the best fighter we have. We need you.”). Also, Poe is the only one whom Rey talks to with sarcastic smile. Also, also, that argument is meant to parallel Han and Leia’s many arguments. Han and Leia argued every five minutes throughout the entire Original Trilogy, and they ended up together!

After sinking in the sand tunnels, Poe catches Rey and holds her bridal-style for a sec to steady her and was worried about her.

“He thought of protesting, of asking how Rey could possibly know which equally unremarkable direction was the right one. But Poe had learned that when Rey said things that way, her face determined, her voice unwavering, a fellow ought to just follow.” -TROS novel Poe knows Rey well. He knows when he must just shut up and do what she says. It kind of reminds me of Anakin telling Padme “Don’t worry. I’ve given up trying to argue with you.”

Poe taking the dagger from Rey in the novel and it felt like a weight has been lifted from Rey’s shoulders. It’s almost like he knew that would help.

The sand snake- I’ve never seen Poe so scared. But he is not afraid of that snake, he’s ready to combat it. I mean, he piloted the Falcon without fear into the mouth of a giant worm! Poe is afraid that snake could hurt or kill Rey. Poe wants to shoot that snake and pull Rey back, and he almost does that. And Rey amazes him again! And Poe sighs in relief when the snake calms down and slithers away.

In the novel, Poe didn’t scream “Nooo!” or “What have you done?!” when Rey “killed” Chewie. Poe knows there is no scenario in which Rey would harm her friends consciously. He most likely knows about her dark visions (Rey tells BB-8 everything, who obviously tells Poe all important stuff). Poe is not mad at Rey and doesn’t make her explain how that happened. And honestly, if he did do that, then he’d be a huge hypocrite, since he accidentally caused the deaths of the bombers in TLJ and the soldiers on Crait, which is why Poe was gentle with her. Rey understands Poe. His usual anger. They both have a huge responsibility. The Resistance on Poe and Jedi legacy on Rey. And she was ready to hear his anger, but he didn’t even plan to lay into her.

Rey likes that Poe can steal speeders and she finds his past interesting. Rey was really interested in Poe and Zorii’s past connection and Poe felt a bit smug when Rey was able to beat Zorii (He said “Don’t Dja’kanka” because he was afraid Rey would slice Zorii in half before she could help them). According to some audio book excerpts, when Rey was thinking about Poe’s past or his criminal skills, her voice was mysterious and nonjudgmental. Finn wasn’t happy to find out Poe was a spice runner, while Rey was completely fine with that, it seems she even liked that

After the Spice Runner reveal, as they traveled a snowy passageway, Poe glanced over at Rey, who was silent and frowning, lost in her own thoughts. Or maybe she was focused. Sensing something.

When Rey rushed off to look for the dagger on Kylo’s star destroyer, Poe didn’t stop her and trusted her feelings. Poe knows when he must just follow her instincts. He learned to read her.

Look at pain in Poe’s eyes after Finn’s words. Poe wants to be closer to Rey, he wants Rey to trust him more. But Finn and Leia were still closer to Rey than Poe was. “Perhaps, she didn’t want to put the rest of the team in danger, but they had already signed up for that by joining the Resistance.” (TROS junior novel, Poe)

"She’s out there, heading toward the Death Star. Her skimmer keeps tipping over – it’s damaged. What the heck is she thinking?” (TROS junior novel, Poe) Poe is so worried here. And angry. Now he’s mad at Rey, but later he will be angry with himself for losing her.

“Rey’s nobility masked an impulsiveness that might doom them all – and as highest-ranking member of the team, Poe felt responsible for not curbing it. He had flunked the leadership test yet again.” (TROS junior novel) Poe blames himself, not Rey.

“Maybe there was something the general could do. During the battles of D'Qar and Crait she and Rey had shared beacons. Maybe there was a way she could reach out to Rey or Rey could reach out to her.” (TROS junior novel) Poe planned to find Rey!

So, Poe doesn’t think Rey abandoned them and doesn’t resent her for leaving. If he did, he’d be a big hypocrite here, too, since he abandoned his father, who was dying from a poisonous Lurker bite in Free Fall for the Spice Runners.

Poe trusts Rey and knows she can take care of herself. That’s why he didn’t rush after her like Finn did.

“Poe didn’t have his usual pre-battle swagger. He seemed distress. “What’s waiting for her out there?” he asked Finn.” (TROS junior novel) Poe worried about Rey so much! That she’s somewhere alone and they won’t be with her there.

Poe was incredibly relieved when Rey was revealed to be alive (and he was also worried about Rey when he found out the Emperor wanted her alive).

The way Poe takes Rey’s hand is special, it’s pure tenderness, and the way he rubs his thumb over her knuckles tells everything. Poe loves Rey more than friend. Also, Rey pinches Poe’s elbow with a hope, like she tries to reach him. And when Poe does the same, she happily closes her eyes and pinches him again.

Poe and Rey also acted so jealous of Finn and Zorii respectively. Poe kept asking Finn what he was gonna tell Rey when they were sinking in the sand. On Kijimi, Rey couldn’t stop thinking about what Poe’s past with Zorii was.

So, usually, men tend to date women who remind them of their mothers (Take Harry Potter for example! Ginny looks a lot like Lily Potter.). Rey and Shara Bey (Poe’s mom) look similar and they’re both brave, adventurous, and great pilots.

Men also tend to date women who remind them of their exes. Rey also looks similar to Zorii, plus they are both cagey, kept secrets, both love to argue with Poe, but they care about him, and are extremely loyal.

TL:DR. My point is that Poe and Rey are actually good friends and would be a great couple. Disney/LF were just a bit more subtle about their relationship.

#star wars #poe dameron #rey skywalker #damerey

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lokidiabolus · 3 years

Text

Last Resort - chapter 1

Fandom: The Maze Runner

Pairing: Thomas x Newt

Warnings: ex boyfriends, AU

Summary: Three years after breaking up with Thomas, Newt finally thought the past of hating each other was behind them, until Thomas asked him for a favour - pretend they got back together for a week while staying at his parents' home. Because it was an absolutely dumb idea, Newt was inclined to refuse, but then found himself in the house he used to visit when he was in love and happy and the bitter reality of only pretending for people he always liked made him miserable. But it was nothing against dealing with Thomas himself for a week straight and trying not to fall back in love that hurt them both.

Or: Prompt ch. 192 with added spice. Or something. I just needed to write for a while :')

Can be found on Ao3.

Notes: Hi! I was really into writing something, like really, really hyped, but then couldn't find anything that would make me go "yaaas!". So I thought of just giving up, until I somehow vaguely recalled I wrote this small one shot about two exes falling back in love in parents' house, and just sort of thought: oh yeah. Angst, good. Could add some horny. Good. Let's try. So here we are. Trying. It's not exactly deep or anything. I just needed to get this out of my system :') And it's not like I can't write anything else but AUs... ha.

Unbetad!

Sometimes Newt felt like the world was against him in literally any kind of situation. Once he decided to commit to something, a sudden force worked against him immediately, completely ruining the plan, or at least derailing his confidence in it. For about a year he thought that maybe it was the Universe giving him signs, for another year it felt like a karmic backslash and this year he settled on the fact he was just being despised by whatever higher force was in charge.

Although last year wasn’t as bad, really, until November 12th on dot. If it was about to be documented anywhere, he was just getting out of his shower, quite sleepy already, in rather calm, peaceful mood, once his phone dinged with a new message and he, without knowing the consequences of reading it, opened it. Even though it had Thomas as a sender - he thought later it should have deterred him from ruining the night for himself. Yet, his stupid lizard brain just clicked on it, blissfully unaware.

ThomAss - [23:14] – This is a life-or-death matter, you HAVE TO help me out D:

Newt - [23:15] – HAVE TO even.

ThomAss - [23:16] – YES. Please. I’m ready to beg too, that’s how desperate I am!

Newt - [23:17] – Hmm. Tempting. On your knees?

ThomAss - [23:18] – It’s negotiable.

Newt - [23:19] – Might think about it. Go on.

ThomAss - [23:20] – I need you to come home with me. I mean to my parents’ home.

Newt - [23:21] – What…?

ThomAss - [23:22] – It’s an emergency. They’re being persistent, so I need to bring somebody over.

Newt - [23:24] – I don’t follow?

ThomAss - [23:25] – Somebody I’m dating, that is.

Newt - [23:26] – Yeah, no.

ThomAss - [23:27] – Pleaaaaaaaaaase! T^T

He refused to admit he was fuming when he tossed his phone on the mattress and ignored how it beeped several times with new messages. There was no bloody way he’d go all smiling into Thomas’ parent’s house and pretend they were dating when they broke up three years ago in bad blood and it took them over two years to recover enough to be able to at least talk in a civil way. Sure, these past few months were sort of… better than the rest, though Newt didn’t really know if there was a reason, or they just let go of the grudge.

Well, partially let go, at least Newt’s was still lightly festering sometimes, on bad days when he was stupid enough to let his guard down and remind himself of it.

His phone beeped three more times and then the silence of his flat got sliced to pieces by the obnoxious ringtone he put in spite to Thomas’ contact two years ago. They weren’t calling each other, so there was no way he’d hear it at any point back then, but now, when the sound filled his home, he had a fleeting thought of smashing the phone to pieces instead.

“I said no,” he answered anyway, cold enough for Thomas to definitely get shivers on the other side of the line.

“Newt, please, I beg you,” Thomas didn’t even bother with greetings and whined like a five-year-old. “You can’t possibly be that cruel, can you?”

“Minho,” Newt gritted out. “Why not him?”

“He’s in England! Drinking tea! He’d throw me off the Big Ben if I interrupted his super-secret-date-everybody-knows-about!” Thomas responded frantically and Newt pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation.

Fine, he had a point, probably, Minho would rage at him if he tried to drag him back shit like this. He planned the totally-not-a-date for months, never introduced the person and then disappeared. Everyone knew why, but they didn’t know to who.

“Teresa.” Another possibility, and Thomas’ groaned into the speaker.

Oh, so he already asked her, and she turned him down. Not to mention…

“Brenda?”

Another groan.

“For fuck’s sake,” Newt had to force himself not to throw the phone against the wall. “Have you literally asked everyone and I’m the bloody last resort?”

“Sort of?” Thomas piped and Newt refused to acknowledge how it stung weirdly.

Am I being hypocritical?

It wasn’t like he was willing to go anyway, but somehow his pride didn’t like it. And his pride was a bitch, he knew, and had the power to overwrite his common sense.

“Look, it’s just…” Thomas sighed into the phone. “…embarrassing.”

“Embarrassing?” the blond repeated. He would say uncomfortable maybe, but embarrassing? “What is bloody embarrassing about it? I’ve heard you snore and fart and throw up and come, and you think this is embarrassing?”

“This is embarrassing!” Thomas whined like couldn’t hear the naked truth and Newt shook his head. They had their history, and it wasn’t just a week short fling. They lived together for three years and dated for seven, there honestly couldn’t be much of an embarrassment present anymore.

Although maybe yes, after three years of barely talking.

“You’re ridiculous,” he mumbled after, dropping a towel he was drying his hair with on the bed. “How’s this even a question, can you just tell them you’re single? Or. I don’t know, that the person you date had other business to attend to?”

“No,” Thomas answered immediately. “I can’t and I won’t. You act like you don’t know them, they’re onto me.”

“Cuz you’re a liar?” Newt tilted his head to the side and Thomas grumbled.

“Am not, okay.”

“So where’s your significant other that can’t attend?”

“On the phone right now, being difficult. Obviously,” Thomas delivered without ounce of shame and if he was standing right in front of Newt, he would have one in his face. “Look, I didn’t want to ask you, cuz of course it’s kinda weird, since my parents already know you and all.”

Of course he would rather bring Teresa or Brenda over, Newt thought and the bitterness surprised him.

“Well, at least they wouldn’t be as shocked,” he said in response, pushing the wave of reminiscing back down. “Imagine Minho, he would probably tear the place apart.”

“Yeah, but we didn’t break up with Minho,” Thomas reminded him, keeping the sombre tone despite Newt trying to lighten the situation.

“You don’t say,” he said instead. “And?”

“And they know we did,” Thomas continued. “So it’s gonna be awkward, you know.”

“Can imagine, yes,” Newt didn’t want to play dumb. “I already told you no though, so there’s no reason to torture yourself with the what if.”

“When did I ever want anything this important from you though!” The whine was back, and Newt sucked in a sharp breath.

“You want me to make you a list? Or would a text suffice.”

“I told you I’d beg on my knees, right? I will. I’m ready to go to your place right now and kneel for the whole night if that’d please you,” Thomas shot back, sounding too serious for Newt’s liking. His neighbours would hate him if Thomas spent the night in front of his door on his knees, serenading him just to make him cave in.

“For fuck’s sake, for how long am I going to be pretending I love your stupid face again then?” he growled unhappily and Thomas on the other side let out a small laugh.

“Well, mum said a weeklong vacation, but I’m sure like three days would be enough to sate her craving for whatever she actually craves when she forces me to do this,” he dropped like a week wasn’t a death sentence or could pose an actual problem with Newt’s remaining vacation days. Which was not. But Thomas didn’t know that.

“I know you have vacation days left, since you always hoard them,” Thomas immediately added like he could read his mind and Newt couldn’t stop the curse leaving his mouth. “It’s not so bad, right? Countryside, fresh air, great food and for free.”

“For the cost of my sanity, but sure, for free,” Newt grumbled and padded to the table to boot up his notebook. “When?”

“I’d pick you up on this Friday at 3? Work or home, your pick.” There was an obvious relief in Thomas’ voice and Newt kind of wanted to remind him they still broke up and barely talked to each other for two and half years, so it was not going to be a walk in a park at any point, but he kept his mouth shut.

“I work till 4,” he uttered while opening his e-mail and started to write a request for vacation. “So something past 4 in front of my workplace should be fine.”

“Four? Since when?” came a question and Newt rolled his eyes. “It used to be 3 max.”

“Three years ago, sure,” Newt decided to overlook Thomas’ weird habit of keeping shit like this memorized. “Things changed.”

“You work longer for the same pay?” Thomas guessed and Newt scoffed.

“I’m not an idiot, okay,” he commented sternly. “I got promoted. So I go to work a bit later, but work till later too.”

“Aaah,” Thomas voiced. “That’s pretty cool. Congratz.”

Year and half late, but I guess it’s the thought that counts. He just hummed.

“Then four it is,” Thomas got back on track easily. “Thanks, Newt. You’re a lifesaver.”

“You don’t know what it will cost ya yet, don’t be so happy about it,” Newt said grumpily. “I don’t work for free.”

“How’s pleasant company and free accommodation and full inclusive not enough for you? You spoiled little bitch,” Thomas faked an offended tone and Newt rolled his eyes.

“Pleasant company is questionable, since you’re going to be there,” he shot back, more out of habit than with an actual spiteful intent. “But I guess your family will do.”

“Oof, alright,” it didn’t take anything from the cheerful tone of his, “you can send me a bill after. Fucking high maintenance as always, aren’t you.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Newt chirped and hung up. The moment he sent the mail to his boss he immediately regretted it.

***

Friday came so fast Newt barely noticed the week whooshing past him, and suddenly it was 3:50, he was basically done with his workload for the day, his weeklong vacation got a green light and a bag with his things was sitting mockingly on his table, reminding him he was an idiot who just liked to make himself miserable.

Thomas was already texting him since morning to not forget to pack undies like he was a mastermind of great humour and Newt’s eyes lingered a bit too long on a kitchen knife when he was packing yesterday.

But then again, Thomas’ mum definitely had much better cutlery, so the variety of murder weapons just multiplied.

He pointedly ignored how his stomach lurched at the sight of Thomas at his car in casual clothes and unzipped jacket like it was spring (the -4 degrees disagreed with him, and especially with Newt’s complete lack of proper thermoregulation), actually having a pleasant expression on his face Newt last seen… well, long time ago. He took Newt’s bag and put it in the boot of the car with such nonchalance Newt almost believed his parents might be tricked into thinking they really got back together, how smooth and easy he made it look. Newt refused to ruin it with sarcasm, so he just got into the passenger seat and let Thomas get them on the road.

“You know Christmas is still a month away, right?” Thomas commented once Newt got rid of his coat and scarf, since the car was warm inside, and tossed it onto the back seat, before putting on the seatbelt.

“Yeah?” he raised an eyebrow at him and didn’t like the smile Thomas had on his lips. He was going to nag, for sure.

“Just that you’re wrapped like a present,” came an expected comeback. “How many layers you even have? You took all of your winter clothes on?”

“Stuff it,” the blond glared at him. “It’s cold outside.”

“It’s not that cold though?” Of course Thomas wouldn’t let it go.

“Just cuz you circulate lava and not blood doesn’t mean others do too,” Newt’s glare intensified. “Like it’s something bloody new I’m cold as fuck all the time.”

“Yeah, it’s really not,” his companion shrugged with self-satisfied smirk and Newt wanted to stomp on the brake and just get out of the car. Why did he agree again?

Prick.

What even made him so happy? Still didn’t realize how many faked smiles he’s going plaster on his face through the stay? Or he didn’t care?

“What are we going to tell them?” he asked instead to bring them closer to the problem, since the resolution was only three hours’ drive away. He wouldn’t admit it, but since he agreed to help with this clownery, he couldn’t stop thinking about what to tell the people he genuinely liked and didn’t want to lie to. He could almost forget how rare it was to stay alone with Thomas these days – or months – or years – without an urge to strangle the brunet every time he got close and opened his mouth, when they were sitting in the car so peacefully now.

It was calm but utterly bitter.

The bitterness, Newt thought, was probably still the remnant from three years ago. Maybe not as vicious, but still accompanying him after all these years, every time they saw each other. The first year was catastrophic, the second they both calmed down a bit, and the third they actually managed to lead a normal, reasonable conversation with minimum insults.

Newt wasn’t shy to admit he missed his ex during quiet moments of his life; somehow. He was especially prone to it during his birthday, somehow spending the passing years without Thomas’ company hurt, despite the bad parting. Talking with Thomas with more ease was nostalgic. But his brain always helpfully supplied it was not going to last because they were still the stupid, broken up them deep down.

Not to mention pretending to be lovers just to get Thomas’ parents off his back was lame as fuck. He had no idea why he agreed. Maybe he was lame too.

“I don’t know. We bumped into each other on a party and made out in a closet,” Thomas responded, the smile finally falling off, his eyes glued to the road before him. “And decided to try it again.”

“Ugh.”

“What, you have a better idea?” Thomas shot him a look and Newt snorted.

“We managed to talk normally again and realized we’re still in love with each other?” he offered, just to piss him off. “Since, you know, it happens to normal people?”

“What, sex in the closet does not?” There was that annoyance in Thomas’ voice again Newt knew so well. They usually talked to each other like that – annoyed, nagging, angry, and it wasn’t hard to fall back into it.

“Probably to you,” he averted his eyes from his companion and watched the passing scenery instead. “But I’m not that easy.”

“That’s true,” he heard Thomas whisper, more to himself, and rather buried himself lower into the seat. The fact their intimate life sucked the last month they were together hadn’t been a secret and Newt was very much aware it just sped up the fall of their relationship. But at that point it all felt wrong, and the last thing Newt had wanted was having angry sex, or sex out of obligation, or basically anything intimate without enjoying the other person’s company. Because they sure weren’t enjoying each other for some time already.

Thomas didn’t like it. And he was pretty open about not liking it. But then again, so was Newt.

And then they broke up. It was outside during Christmas, under the lit-up tree on the city square, and Newt still considered it the most unpleasant memory of his life. They were furious, both of them, and the breakup was inevitable, but when it finally came, it wasn’t an explosion full of shouting or accusing as he expected.

Nope, it was quiet, cold and devastating. Seven years down the drain, just like that.

“Let’s go with your version,” he heard Thomas saying roughly. “It happens.”

“Yeah,” he piped, closing his eyes.

In fairy tales.

***

“Oh my god, I knew it!”

It was the first thing that hit them both when the door to the house opened and Thomas’ mother ran out, shrieking like a siren while going straight to Newt and almost suffocated him in an embrace. “I knew you two would get back together, I knew it!”

“There goes the surprise,” Newt managed from the rest of his breath and when she finally released him just to run back to the house to tell the rest of the family the big news, he gasped like he was drowning.

“Good to know she’s as strong as ever,” he croaked, and Thomas hummed and took both of their bags to carry it inside. He had gotten visibly darker and grumpier the closer they got to his hometown and now he almost visibly carried a dark, raining cloud above his head, looking like he just arrived at his own funeral.

Newt followed him inside with surprising ease though, like returning to this place somewhat negated everything Thomas tried to spoil. He had only nice, pleasant memories of this house, and those people, so even if Thomas ought to be a dickhead, he could always enjoy himself here.

“Newt!” a roaring voice welcomed him next, and another crushing hug lifted him from the floor. Thomas’ father was a big, broad guy who could probably lift the house itself, and his jolly personality apparently remained untouched as well.

“Hi there,” the blond greeted him right the moment he got back to the ground, trying to withstand the bear pat that followed. “Haven’t seen you in forever.”

“Likewise!” the big guy cheerily replied. “Glad to see he came back to his senses! Was seriously afraid he’d bring that gloomy goth girl here, I don’t think we have enough black around for that.”

Teresa or Brenda.

“Nah, he still has a thing for blonds,” he replied with a smile and immediately heard Thomas’ scoffing from the living room. The fact that both Teresa and Brenda turned him down must have scarred his ego a lot.

The jab was worth it though.

***

“I’m so glad you’re here,” Anna (Thomas’ mum) patted his arm for about fourth time already since they arrived, her face fond and eyes happy, and it made Newt guilty as hell. They all gathered in the kitchen, which smelled like fantastic food and happy memories. “I swear the breakup was so shocking, we didn’t want to believe it. Tom took it so badly too, I-,”

“Mum,” Thomas’ voice sounded threatening from behind them. “Stop feeding him useless stuff. He just got off work and spent three hours in the car, let him breathe a little.”

She made a face at him but sent Newt an apologetic smile and gave him a muffin. Still tasted as he remembered, and he had to admit those small welcoming bits were the only brakes he had from running away. It wasn’t like Thomas was nasty towards him or anything – he wouldn’t dare since they’d call him out on it – but since they had the talk in the car Newt could feel the uncomfortable tension between them that always ended in an argument.

“You want coffee?” Newt realized Thomas was looking at him now, eyebrows raised, and he just nodded, not trusting himself to say anything.

“I’ll bring it to you, you can go sit with others,” Thomas added as if he couldn’t get rid of him fast enough and Newt didn’t argue with that logic. The moment he left the kitchen and sat between Thomas’ dad and sister, relief washed over him, and he could finally breathe a little easier.

“I thought you’d already be married to somebody decent,” Hannah (Thomas’ little sister) commented while she plastered herself against Newt’s side like she used to do when she was little. Newt haven’t seen her for about four years, give or take, and now she was 14 and apparently full of opinions. “And not wasting your time with him again.”

Him, pointedly looking at her brother who was sneering at her while entering the living room with Newt’s coffee, was seemingly normal occurrence lately, judging from zero reactions from the parents.

“I know, I’ll never learn,” Newt piped in anyway, which made Thomas sneer at him for a change, and almost spilling the coffee on him, not even trying to mask it as an accident.

“Do I have to be the target of your bad jokes?” he glared at them collectively and when Anna arrived after him with dinner, Newt felt nostalgic, like literally nothing changed, and he relaxed into it with more ease than he expected.

He was just glad Thomas was sitting further from him and didn’t need to force himself to act natural. When he reached for the coffee, his favourite taste of it surprised him, but he didn’t meet Thomas’ eyes.

***

“I have to say, you got even cuter,” Anna suddenly said once they were past dinner, Newt couldn’t eat or drink anymore or he would explode and decided to walk it out while helping her bringing dishes to the kitchen and putting them in a dishwasher.

“Anna,” he chuckled. “That’s not what a guy wants to hear.”

“I’m just saying,” she had a genuine smile on her face. “I feared I’d never get to see you here ever again. I know you don’t really want to talk about the breakup and all…”

She stopped for a second, her eyes searching, and Newt hated how strangely painful it made him feel. He sincerely hoped it didn’t show on his face.

“I just want you to know I’m happy you two got back together,” she concluded, which meant it definitely showed on Newt’s face and she saw it. “I know you must have your reasons back then and everything, but I’m just… so glad for you two. And I wish you’d visit more often as well.”

Newt’s chest tightened like he was about to have a heart-attack and he had to push the guilt back down with the power of his sheer will alone, right in front of her trusting, hopeful eyes, like he was disarming a ticking bomb with 10 seconds on the countdown. He expected maybe some initial awkwardness, or some of them poke fun at how they finally got their shit back together after three years, but this wasn’t the plan and he hated how he wanted to hide behind Thomas’ back and just push him to deal with this instead.

“Yeah,” he gulped down the rising agony. “We absolutely should.”

Liar.

“You were always such a great kid,” she pushed herself from the kitchen counter and pulled him into a tight, heartfelt hug. Tears almost spilled out of Newt’s eyes when she squeezed him with loving gentleness he didn’t want to feel again to know what he was missing. “We all love you so much. Thank you for coming back.”

He couldn’t stop the guilt anymore and quietly wept into her shoulder, praying to any higher power for her not to notice.

***

It wasn’t an escape. He did not run away like a coward the moment he could. He didn’t light up his cigarette outside on a porch with trembling hands because he couldn’t get his nerves under control. It just happened. He just felt like it. He just needed the fresh air, nothing else.

He thought, maybe if he kept telling himself that, the tears would eventually stop and he wouldn’t be sniffling anymore into the night, with sky sprinkled with stars and air cold enough to make his face feel like ice.

He heard the door opening only vaguely, his eyes stinging, until the automatic light flashed above him, signalizing a movement nearby. He noticed Thomas too late, he realized when he started pathetically wiping away tears into his sleeve.

“You okay?” Thomas asked a bit abundantly, seeing the state of his, but Newt had to admit there weren’t many other questions to ask anyway.

“Yeah,” Newt sniffled, trying to get his feelings under control, but failing miserably. “Sorry… just. Give me a few, I’ll be fine.”

Thomas took a step closer, and Newt hated how he flinched at that.

“Mum told you something?”

He had an unreadable face, Newt thought. Neutral and careful and Newt couldn’t say what he was thinking. He hated how the ability of reading this man just disappeared like the rest of their history.

“Nothing bad,” he shook his head and brought the cigarette to his lips, inhaling shortly. His hands still trembled but not as badly anymore. “Are they worried?”

“Not yet, I think,” Thomas replied quietly, glancing towards the door, then sighed. “I guess it’s… kind of painful.”

“Kind of,” Newt agreed softly. “But it reminds me how nice it was when it lasted.”

“Yeah,” Thomas finally glanced at him, his eyes a bit warmer. “It was amazing.”

Newt felt a lump in his throat forming, and the more Thomas was looking at him, the worse it got, until he couldn’t really stand it. So he offered a small, apologetic smile, put the cigarette out and returned back to the house with buzzing in his head and weird pressure in his chest.

The mischievous grins Thomas’ family gave him once he reappeared in the living room never felt so wrong.

***

Newt didn’t really plan on it, but since the night progressed and his company slowly started leaving for the night, he eventually fell asleep on the couch in the living room. He thought he heard somebody trying to wake him while softly saying his name, but he was too exhausted to rise to the challenge and just let his eyes close shut.

The last thing he noticed was sudden warmth engulfing him, like being hugged by a fluffy animal and then he was out like a light.

He dreamed of first loves and heartbreaks.

***

“You’re being 17 only once in your life, man, cheer up a little!”

Newt grumpily looked at the shot he was given with liquid of unknown origin and then back at Minho, who was grinning at him encouragingly, already drunk enough to be considered not the most reliable source of what fun is. Newt couldn’t say he liked the taste of any alcohol he tried so far, and even though Minho made it look like it’s the most delicious thing he ever had, every cup tasted like spirit and burned unpleasantly.

Sure, he was 17 today. Sure, he tried alcohol because everybody did to celebrate, but every time they looked away, he just poured the rest of his cup into something that could hold it (the cactus probably wasn’t happy about it and Newt mentally apologized to the plant when he disposed of the rest of his beer in its pot).

“Lemme take that from you,” a sudden movement on his side caused the small glass to be taken from his hand, and then a brown-haired boy downed the drink like it was water. Newt had no idea who he was, but since he saved him from possible vomit-inducing moments, he immediately liked him.

“My saviour,” he grinned once the boy tossed the empty glass back to Minho who barely caught it. The boy smiled back at him, his big, brown eyes warm and honestly really pretty.

“Thomas,” he introduced himself. “I take it you’re the birthday boy. Newt, right?”

“Right,” the blond nodded in agreement. “You here with Ben?”

It was just a guess, but he vaguely remembered Ben mentioned something about bringing friends over and Newt didn’t mind. The more people present, the easier would it be for him to disappear at some point to avoid being cornered with other alcoholic beverages.

“Yep,” Thomas nodded with a cute smile. Newt wondered if he was already at least a little drunk to be so easily charmed. “I know I should have brought a gift, since it’s your b-day and all, but I kinda came empty handed. Sorry about that.”

“Preposterous,” Newt faked a shock, hand on his chest and laughter bubbling in his throat, but Thomas was already fishing through his pockets as if he was searching for something to give, and that made him laugh for real. “It’s fine, Tommy. You saved me from alcohol poisoning, you have a free pass.”

“That’s lame though,” Thomas objected unhappily and then finally found his phone in his back pocket, looking at Newt expectantly. “Can I at least get your number? I swear I will make it up to you.”

Normally Newt would argue he didn’t need anything, for real, don’t sweat it, but the more he was looking into Thomas’ eyes, the more his common sense refused to work, and caving in was so, so easy.

“Sweet,” Thomas smiled happily when he saved the contact and then slung his arm around Newt’s shoulders, leaned close and took a quick photo of them both on his phone. “You won’t regret it.”

“I know I won’t,” Newt said, and he meant it.

***

He woke up with his head painfully pounding, like he slept too long or too short. In a moment of confusion of his whereabouts one glance across the empty but messy living room from yesterday’s festivities gave him the answer he sought – he was in hell and it smelled like pancakes.

He gingerly sat up, analysing the situation carefully, until his eyes stopped at the clock showing 12:04 and Newt refused to believe them. He couldn’t have possibly slept till noon, right? Thomas was playing a prank at him by rewinding the clock or something, there was simply no way. He usually woke up at 7, if he really had a deficit then 9 the latest and felt guilty about it. Twelve sounded like a bad joke.

Then again, his body was so sore it made sense. He had a crick in his neck, his legs felt wooden and stiff and there were creases from the couch everywhere on his naked skin. He had a soft, fluffy blanket draped around his body he didn’t remember even seeing yesterday but was grateful for anyway.

“Fuck,” he breathed out in mortification. “What am I even doing?”

“Having a zombie march, I’d say,” a voice interrupted his inner freak out mercilessly and he turned around too fast for his poor head to comprehend and world spun for a moment. “Thought you died or something, geez. Since when you sleep so long?”

Thomas was slowly walking towards him with a tray, trying to balance the cups with coffee on it, and once he successfully set it down, there was only a small puddle under one, so still a success. He brought pancakes and muffins Anna baked and Newt didn’t feel like his appetite was up to this.

“I dunno,” the blond rubbed his eyes sleepily. “I guess I wasn’t really sleeping as much these past few days…”

“Your back must hate you though,” Thomas glanced at the sofa pointedly. “Only sitting for too long on this torture device is painful.”

“Eh,” Newt shrugged. “I’ve had worse.”

“Well, you look like shit, so not much worse,” Thomas didn’t spare him, smirking at Newt’s apparently dishevelled appearance and he just flipped him off.

“Have a pancake, you’ll feel better,” Thomas pushed the tray closer.

“Maybe later,” Newt untangled himself from the blanked instead. “I need a bath.”

“Can’t argue with that.”

Newt mentally slapped Thomas so hard his face landed in the pancake cushion. In reality he just scoffed and wobbled out of the living room at the sound of his ex’ snickering.

***

Nobody really commented on Newt’s faux pas of passing out on the couch until it was time for lunch, but they did comment on his food habits (or better on having none). He barely ever ate breakfast in the morning, so he didn’t eat the fluffy pancakes, or the muffins Thomas brought him, but he did drink the coffee. Before he could even properly digest that Anna was already serving lunch and he had no way how to wiggle himself out of that one.

The rest of the day passed like a blur and when the evening came Anna was chasing him to the bed the first moment he yawned.

“You’re not going to ruin your back on this monstrosity!” she was pushing him up the stairs with Thomas behind her, laughing at them. “I don’t understand how we didn’t buy a new one yet, but now we have to, or you’d wreck yourself on it!”

“It wasn’t that bad,” Newt tried to argue, but she was having none of it and finally stopped in front of Thomas’ room, which… was an obvious choice, but Newt felt his blood running cold at the sight of the familiar area.

“I prepared clean towels and everything,” she pointed at a fluffy pile on Thomas’ desk. “Good night!”

“Yeah…” the blond barely got that out and she was already leaving, calling to others downstairs to help her choose a new couch so she could immediately order it online.

“Well, at least we’ll get rid of that relic,” Thomas commented while entering the bedroom as well, all smiles like he didn’t realize there was one bed, them broken up and Newt’s absolute horror.

“We’re not sleeping in the same bed, are we,” Newt ignored him with eyes fixed at the lodging in the room and Thomas crossed his arms on his chest, his lips in a wide grin.

“What, I clearly remember you saying there is nothing embarrassing about me anymore, since you heard me fart and all.”

“Oh god, shut up,” Newt wished his words were a spell and came true, but of course they didn’t work on Thomas, since he started laughing like a hyena. Anna naturally would let them both sleep in Thomas’ room, it was an obvious choice, but he sure hated it.

Thomas’ room was the same as Newt remembered it, but it made sense, since Thomas had his own place in the city for years. His family had no reason to change it, let it be the queen-sized bed, the blue-ish walls and sleek black furniture hugging the place. It had no sofa, which was the core of the problem for one of them and Newt’s regret of saying yes returned in full force.

“It’s not like it’s a small bed,” Thomas commented matter-of-factly once he had his fill of fun and sat at the edge of the incriminated furniture, obviously taunting him.

“It’s not like I care,” Newt bit out and circled the bed in disdain. “Sleep on the floor for what I care.”

“But it’s my bed,” Thomas argued with badly concealed glee. Newt guessed it was because now he could make fun of him now, which must have made him feel good after being a target of little quips from his family for two days. “If you don’t like me in it, you go sleep on the floor.”

“I’m a guest in here,” Newt crossed his arms on his chest. “Don’t you have any manners? Not to mention you owe me for coming here and playing your lying game.”

“It has nothing to do with manners or me owing you, you’re just being a stubborn ass as always,” Thomas corrected him and clearly didn’t feel like being merciful, especially when he just flopped onto the mattress and looked at Newt expectantly. “So, let’s calm down and get some sleep. I promise I won’t attack you until you’re awake again.”

“Shut up, jerk face,” Newt barked at him and grabbed the towel Anna left there, turning to leave for the bathroom, definitely not running away. “As if I’d bloody let you.”

“Mhmmm.” Thomas’ face was grinning, and Newt wanted to set his guts on fire.

Goddamn, fuck this all.

***

Of course Thomas already laid under the covers, one arm under his head, other holding his phone and leisurely scrolling through it. The room was bathing in darkness, outside of the small lamp on the bedside table. Newt still remember that lamp from years ago, and how they almost broke it when Newt accidentally knocked it over when they were having sex… here… okay, that particular memory really didn’t need to resurface right now.

“I know right,” Thomas suddenly spoke, looking at Newt pointedly. “I was surprised that thing still works too. Got banged so badly.”

“Hmm…”

“Not the only thing that got banged though,” of course the fucker had to add, and Newt tossed his shirt he was holding at him. Only got small laugh in response and then his shirt got dropped carelessly on the floor, left crumpled there like trash. Newt wanted to kick Thomas’ ass so bad he almost reached for his whole bag to hit him with it.

“Going to stand there whole night?” Thomas was acting smugly because he had an upper hand for now, the blond knew the tactics very well. Just milking the moment until one of them snap, he sure hadn’t changed. Newt seriously considered to just leave and sleep in the car if he had to.

“Are you going to be this insufferable the whole week?” he seethed, and Thomas shrugged.

“Define insufferable. Don’t feel like I am any of that.”

“Alright, then I’ll leave tomorrow,” Newt countered him, because he was honestly too tired already and couldn’t think of anything that would make Thomas to fall from his high horse for just one second. Or just show some understanding, because the moment they got in his room he made sure to make Newt as uncomfortable as possible. “You can tell your parents whatever you want, I don’t care.”

“Are you seriously throwing a tantrum over us sleeping in one bed?” Thomas sat up while putting his phone away and he had this old Star Wars shirt Newt got him for his 20th birthday and it was like a punch in his gut.

“Yes,” Newt just said and the warmth from the bath was slowly dissipating from his body, leaving him chilled and miserable.

“We slept together for 7 years,” Thomas objected with a small frown. “It’s not like you don’t know me. Or how I sleep.”

“It’s not like it matters in this situation.”

“I told you I won’t do anything,” another argument and Newt shook his head. He wasn’t even worried he would try anything; they were way past that phase anyway. It was just… so uncomfortable. “Jesus, Newt, please be reasonable. It’s cold, you’re shivering like a wet dog over there, I have perfectly normal, warm bed and we won’t even be touching. I don’t know what kind of block you have in your head, but can you just let it go for tonight and come here before you catch a cold and blame it on me too?”

“I-,” Newt couldn’t even start when a soft knock stopped him mid speech and the door opened few seconds later with Anna between them, smiling. Probably chaperoning, he would guess if he had a coherent thought.

“Just wanted to ask if you want chicken or steak for tomorrow lunch,” she chirped and Newt could almost see the loading screen in front of his eyes, for how much he couldn’t comprehend the sudden topic change.

“Go lie down, you’ll freeze out here,” she immediately noticed him standing there barefooted and pushed him gently towards the bed. “Do you want another blanket? I know you’re always cold. Thomas brought the fluffy one downstairs yesterday, should I fetch it?”

“It’s fine, I have two in here already,” Thomas interjected immediately and before Newt could react anyhow, Thomas reached for his hand and pulled him onto the mattress. “Will warm him up if that wouldn’t be enough.”

“Just try to be quiet, will you,” Anna seized them both in disapproving stare and Newt felt sick in his stomach. “So what. Chicken or steak?”

“I vote for steaks!” Thomas immediately shot out and Newt still didn’t understand what was even important about food in this situation, so he just nodded dumbly, and then Anna was leaving with good night and disappeared behind the door again, plunging the room into silence.

He could hear Thomas’ breathing close to his own and finally understood he lost this fight without much of a battle happening.

“Can we sleep now?” he heard Thomas ask, so he just slinked under covers and turned his back towards the man, feeling vulnerable and stupid at the same time.

***

They didn’t talk about the night. They didn’t really talk at all during the day, since when Newt woke up, Thomas was already gone, and Hannah mentioned something about him and his dad leaving early in the morning for whatever reason.

Newt hated how relieved he felt.

He spent most of the day with Anna making lunch and dodging questions about him and Thomas’ breakup and reconciliation. Anna didn’t pry as much as he feared she would, but she obviously wanted to know what happened three years ago and he had no nice answer for her, so he just kept it vague.

We stopped talking to each other properly.

We felt like we needed a break.

No, there was no bad blood between us, really. Absolutely no arguments that would cut too deep, I assure you. We just needed some time. We’re back together now after all, right.

The lies twisted so painfully on his tongue he was grateful when Thomas finally got back at 4PM and Anna’s attention turned to him instead. When the day progressed, Brian (Thomas’ dad) sat them all in the living room in the evening and opened his favourite bottle of whiskey he kept for special occasions.

They lit up fire in the fireplace and Anna brought over snacks, and just sitting there and chilling felt soothing to Newt’s guiltiness eating him up from within.

“We just sealed the deal with a new partner today,” Brian said in a booming voice when he was pouring a glass to Newt who was sincerely relieved his special occasion wasn’t Thomas and him dating again. Because that sure would send him out of the room quick, he could handle only that much before snapping.

“That’s fantastic,” he gingerly accepted the glass and watched Thomas doing to same when offered, wondering if he could somehow dump his own drink into his glass without being suspicious. They sat too wide apart though, with Thomas between his parents and Newt felt the gap deeply.

“That’s right! It means more work, but it’s going to be worth it!” Brian nodded happily and poured glass to Anna as well. When Hannah came with her own, he shooed at her to get juice instead, at which she pouted. “We were dealing with them on and off for about a year, so when they agreed to be a permanent supplier, it’s gonna make a difference.”

“You should invite the CEO for dinner,” Anna added to it and Brian immediately agreed. “But for now, cheers!”

Newt smiled and raised his glass as well, but his throat already hated it in advance. Once he sipped the wood-scented drink, he forced himself to remain passive and not make a disgusted face that was forcing its way up, grateful Anna and Brian were too busy planning what food to choose for the business dinner.

“Oh my god, can you stop shouting in my ear?” Thomas suddenly stood up when his dad leaned over him to his mum for umpteenth time. “Go sit next to her! Geez. I’m not a cushion you can bulldozer over.”

Brian laughed and pushed himself towards his wife on Thomas’ spot, which left Thomas to sit next to Newt with an unceremonious plop.

“I thought maybe cream cake for dessert?” Anna was brainstorming loudly in meantime. “Right, Newt? You always liked the cake.”

“Oh yeah, loved it,” Newt quickly switched his attention to her from Thomas’ sudden warmth next to him. “Think it’s a great idea for the dessert.”

“See!” Anna beamed at Brian happily and Newt flinched when his glass got bumped suddenly and he almost dropped it before he realized it was Thomas’ own glass touching it now.

“Pour some over,” he mumbled towards the blond quietly. “Before they notice and start pestering you about quality of well-aged alcohol.”

“Thanks…” he piped gratefully and hastily splashed most of his glass’ contents away. He noticed Hannah was looking at them, but she only rolled her eyes and started arguing with the parents that beef was no better than pork for the main dish.

“She’d drink it instead if she had a chance,” Thomas whispered towards him. “Going to be a fucking alcoholic before she reaches twenty.”

“Weren’t you the same though,” Newt objected automatically, and Thomas sipped his now almost full glass with a smirk.

“Never minded the taste, yeah,” he shrugged while licking his lips. Newt would believe from his expression the drink tasted good, if he didn’t know better. “I still like beer more though. This can easily knock me out of my socks if I’m not careful.”

“Mm.”

“You slept well?”

Newt stiffed at the question, as he expected he would if Thomas was going to breach it, and then forced his body to relax again while gripping his almost empty glass firmly.

“Fine,” he only uttered.

“Are we going to have a problem again tonight then or is it fine?” he heard Thomas asking in low voice and refused to meet his eyes. The night was alright, he slept more or less okay too, but that didn’t pose a problem in the first place, and Thomas knew it. Newt couldn’t say if it was Thomas’ way of being petty or getting revenge, but it sure bothered Newt like a thorn in his side.

“Can’t possibly kick you off, when your mum likes to check up on us,” he mumbled with a quick glance towards Anna, still in heated debate over food with the rest of the family. “So let’s pretend it’s fine.”

“I’m not pretending anything,” Thomas scoffed. “I don’t mind sharing a bed. It’s not like you’re a stranger.”

“Sure.”

“Hmm,” Thomas let out and then moved again, lifting his legs and deposited them rudely on Newt’s lap while leaning against the side of his dad who barely even noticed.

“Sure then,” he was grinning when Newt shot him a glare. “Love of my life.”

“I swear I’ll murder you,” Newt gritted through his teeth and refused to acknowledge how his heart thumped when Thomas smiled at him like he just said something overly sweet.

“Looking forward to it,” the brunet responded instead while sipping their shared drink and Newt twisted his big toe in revenge. Sadly, it didn’t have much of an effect.

***

“What the fuck happened to you over those years, jesus fuck!” If anybody asked, Newt didn’t sound like a naggy wife scolding her husband, no sir. “You can’t hold your liquor for shit!”

“Whaaa-,” Thomas’ attempt to sound offended interrupted a loud burp and then fit of laughter, all that when he was plastered over Newt’s back who was unceremoniously dragging him back to his room.

“If you throw up over my back, you’re dead,” he warned the drunkard coldly and Thomas let out hehehe but didn’t deny it. Newt suspected him he could walk just fine but wanted to be as obnoxious as possible, so Newt would have to take care of him in front of his amused parents who left them to it. Newt would be much happier if Thomas’ dad would toss his son to the bed one armed, because he definitely could, and wouldn’t leave Newt to fight with the deadweight all alone, but then again maybe it was for the best.

True enough, Thomas had in total of four and half glasses full of whiskey, even though Brian laughed at him to get drunk after three shots. Naturally didn’t know every time he poured Newt a fresh batch, even though Newt tried to tell him no thanks, he secretly dumped it into Thomas’ glass who drank it, just to get refilled from Brian again as well, and that went until the bottle was empty and Thomas started giggling.

Which led them to the situation at hand – with Newt dragging his ex up the stairs and to his room – their room – while swearing like a sailor, and then just dumping him onto the bed like a sack of potatoes where Thomas landed with soft oof.

“Why’s the room sp’nning…?” he heard the muffled question shortly after, looking at Thomas’ boneless form of a dead drunk with his face half buried in covers. “Make it stooop~.”

“You feel like barfing?” he asked instead of reacting to the drunk observation and Thomas groaned, then tried to push himself up, just to fail miserably. He tried two more times until he realized he really couldn’t get up because his arms wouldn’t support him, and just had to worm his way up to the pillow by crawling. Which was almost painful to watch, honestly.

“Neeeewt.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” the blond buried his face to his hands until another whine of his name came and he walked to the bed and pushed Thomas on his back instead. That got him a sloppy grin in return in a drunk haze.

“Hi,” the drunkard slurred. “How’re ya?”

“Sucky,” Newt answered while crossing his arms on his chest.

“Oh noooo…” another whine. “Whyyy?”

“Have to take care of one smashed idiot,” Newt nudged Thomas’ side with his knee, earning another giggle. He couldn’t say he had experience with drunk Thomas – or at least with this much drunk Thomas. If he ever got inebriated enough to be considered wasted, he just passed out, usually. But today’s drunk Thomas sure had some annoying stamina and kept himself awake for too long.

“I’ll protect you from ‘im,” Thomas managed to reach out with his hand, grabbing at Newt’s sweater. “C’me to the bed.”

“I think you need a bucket first,” Newt let him pawn his sweater with a sigh.

“Mkay.” The hand on his sweater stayed, grabbing randomly, until it dropped to Newt’s thigh where it lightly squeezed, and Thomas let an appraising hum. “You got thinner.”

“It’s just your imagination,” Newt pushed the hand away and it bounced back onto the mattress. “Get changed, I’ll be right back.”

“Nooo…”

He ignored the whine and left the bedroom with a lump in his throat. Drunk Thomas could be bad for his conscience.

***

He got back half an hour later, after a bath and finding a bucket he could deposit at the edge of the bed, in hope Thomas didn’t manage to throw up in meantime. He found him sleeping sprawled over the mattress, right in the middle, still in the same clothes and smelling like a liquor store. There was no barf anywhere at least.

“Sweet,” he sighed while putting the bucket near Thomas’ possible trajectory of his head if he felt like bending over and vomiting. “Glad we had this talk about sleeping together, huh.”

He slowly crawled onto the bed, careful not to wake Thomas up (though judging by his occasional snores it wasn’t happening) and slid under the blanket as much as Thomas’ weight allowed him.

In hindsight… there was no way he could be mad at him anyway, for today. No matter how drunk the man got, he still remembered how Newt didn’t like alcohol and Newt hated how it warmed his jaded heart.

He fell asleep eventually, dreaming of grabby hands and sad smiles.

***

“Your mum is going to hear us, you ass!”

“Don’t care.”

“Tommy!”

No response, only hot lips on his neck, licking and biting and pampering it with kisses and Newt just remained pinned against the door of Thomas’ room, taking the weight of his boyfriend against his body and roaming hands grabbing at his butt and then traveling to his thigh, hiking it up to settle against Thomas’s hip. His heart was beating so loud he couldn’t hear anything else, just thump thump thump of his blood roaring, and Thomas’s sweet nothings he was murmuring to Newt’s ear in a rough voice.

“I want you so much,” Thomas whispered when unbuckling Newt’s pants, sliding his hand under them against hot, naked skin, and Newt couldn’t hold back a moan, he just needed him closer, he needed to kiss him, to touch him, to get him inside-

“Fuck, you’re so hot,” Thomas bit out, voice strained, and Newt let him to lift him up and carry him towards the bed, their lips meeting in a messy, frantic kiss. It was painful, it was rushed, but it was what Newt needed, the brutal strength of Thomas’ body pushing into him and his own breathy moans coming out when their lips parted, and he heard a dull thud at some point when he was trying to hold onto the bedpost once Thomas thrusted into him so strong it made him see stars, but he didn’t care about anything else but pleasure and pain and adoration he felt when he was with him-

Newt woke up with a start, his body hot and aroused, and he felt on fire and caged and painfully hard. He could barely catch a breath when he noticed arms slung possessively around his torso and waist pushing him insistently against warm body behind him, waking up all his senses one by one like Christmas lights.

It took him a moment, the initial confusion clearing like a fog from his mind, making him realize Thomas was cuddling him from behind, one of his hands got under Newt’s shirt and was spread across his naked belly possessively.

“Shit,” he couldn’t stop himself from cursing and attempted to disentangle, but it only made Thomas to clutch to him harder, like a defence mechanism, unwilling to let go. He tried to push away one of the arms holding him, but Thomas slung a leg over his hips in response, trapping him even more.

“Don’t leave,” a sleepy voice sliced the silence and Newt stiffened once he felt hot lips on the back of his neck, mouthing there persistently.

“Thomas-.” He tried to turn around but couldn’t move an inch and Thomas bit down slightly, sending shivers down Newt’s spine.

“Mmm…” he heard the hum, and then the tense weight relaxed once Thomas fell asleep again, and Newt didn’t dare to move anymore.

It was going to be a long night and Newt refused to acknowledge the little voice in the back of his head screaming for relief by Thomas’ hand.

#newtmas #tmr #the maze runner #Last Resort series #newmas

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elyreywrites · 4 years

Text

when i’m like this you’re the one i trust

a huge thank you to my fellow brainstormers: Aque and Mizuphae, my betas: robinlikeitshot and kitcat, and my friend for introducing me to my favorite dick/tim song, which is also where the title is from!!

title is from The Weeknd’s “Blinding Lights”!

please REBLOG - DO NOT REPOST

AO3 Link

Teen 3,107 words Dick Grayson/Tim Drake

Summary:

“You died,” he tried to snap, to hopefully push Dick away, but his voice broke. “You—you fell, and I couldn’t catch you in time.”

- - - - -

Tim reached out, someone was screaming – was it him? – but Dick was still falling and falling and where was his grapple! Dick reached back for him but— he was too far, too far, too far!

“Dick!” He couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t even close his eyes as Dick hit the broken concrete with a resounding crack. He watched every second, the sight forever seared in his mind.

The world shifted around him and he found himself in the Cave. Tim didn’t know how he’d gotten there and he didn’t care, Dick was dead and—

“My son’s body is on that table because of you,” Bruce growled. “Jason would have caught him. Damian would have caught him. And he’s caught you before. I knew from the start you would never be as worthy of the Robin title, never as good as them. If I had known it would get my son killed, you never would have become Robin.”

Jason scoffed, sprawled over in the chair by Di—the body. “Shouldn’t be surprised. Everyone close to him gets killed. He got his own dad killed, why not his boyfriend too while he’s at it?”

Damian snarled, tears running down his face, and leapt forward with a knife in hand—

“TIM!”

Tim jolted up, grabbing his attacker’s arm and pinning them to the floor before wrenching their shoulder up and—

The person under him sucked in a sharp breath as they hit the ground. When they spoke, their voice was strained. “Timmy, baby bird, it’s just me, Dick. Sweetheart, you were having a nightmare. I shouldn’t have shaken you awake, but, baby, you weren’t waking up. Come on, Timmy, you’re safe. You’re safe, I’m safe, can you let me up now, sweetheart? We’re okay, but I need you to let me up.”

Dick. A distressed keen slipped from Tim as he threw himself backwards, as far away from Dick as he could get. He’d killed-hurt-maimed him, it was all his fault, oh god. His eyes were glued to the bruise on Dick’s arm as he sat up and gingerly held it close to his chest. Tim did that.

“I’m sorry,” he choked out. “I—I’m sorry, Dick, I’m so, so sorry. Oh god. I should—I need to go, you – everyone will be safer, I have to—I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I did my best but—I know I was never good enough, never should’ve been Robin, Dick, I’m so sorry.”

Scrambling to the window, his fingers clawed uselessly at the latch, shaking too much to actually do any good. There was a shout from behind him before an arm was wrapping around his waist and hauling him back until they both collapsed on the bed together. Tim thrashed – he had to get away, before he could hurt Dick again or get him killed, for real this time.

A strained grunt made him freeze. Just like that, he thought, nearly hysterical. God, how fucking worthless could he get? He couldn’t even stop injuring his own goddamn boyfriend—

A kiss was pressed to the side of his head and Dick started whispering to him. “Hey, Timmy, just calm down, okay? My shoulder’s just a bit sore and you knocked it, that’s all. I’m alright, I promise. Breathe, baby, come on.”

The stream of soft, comforting words didn’t stop even as Tim shakily gulped in air, breath catching on half-formed sobs. When he had calmed down, Dick shifted them to be side-by-side, his good arm still wrapped around Tim, just tight enough that he knew Dick wouldn’t let him leave. Tim kept his gaze locked on the wall. The image of Dick’s body lying broken over cement was still bouncing around in his head, and he needed to hold on to that image, needed to remember what he did to the people close to them.

“Come on, you know the rule, baby bird. If you have a nightmare, then you have to talk about it. And you were the one who made that rule, Timmy,” Dick teased gently.

And Tim couldn’t be a hypocrite on this. On a lot of other things, sure, but… not on this. “You died,” he tried to snap, to hopefully push Dick away, but his voice broke. “You—you fell, and I couldn’t catch you in time, and Bruce and Jason were right. It was all my fault, I got you killed just like I get everyone close to me killed, and I never should have been Robin in the first place! I knew—I knew I would never be as good as you or Jason, or now even Damian. I just—I hoped that I’d been enough, but I wasn’t, and they were right! You caught me and I couldn’t even catch you!” Tim bit his lip hard before he could start crying again.

Dick was silent for a long moment, taking one deep breath after another. “Okay. So. Okay, there’s a lot to unpack there, but first of all: Tim, baby bird, sweetheart… I don’t know how many nightmares I’ve had where I fail to catch you. I think I had that nightmare for a solid month and a half afterwards. Some nights it’s so real that I wake up absolutely convinced that’s what happened. I know I worried Alfred with how often I jumped out of bed to immediately review the footage of that night, just so I could see myself carry you in, beat to hell but alive.”

He pulled Tim into his lap, rested his chin on Tim’s shoulder, and continued, “So, when I say that it absolutely is not your fault, please…” Dick absentmindedly brushed a strand of hair out of Tim’s face, tucking it behind his ear. “Trust that I know what I’m talking about? You don’t get everyone close to you killed. It’s just that most of the people close to you live the same dangerous lives that we do, and terrible things tend to happen to us.”

“As for being Robin…” Dick huffed, a sound that was almost a sad laugh. “Jason wasn’t the same kind of Robin that I was, and you weren’t like either of us. Now Damian isn’t like any of us. We were all Robin, but we were all Robin in our own unique, amazing ways. And you were, Tim. Amazing. You were an excellent Robin, and I will say it as many times as you need to hear it, and then some. I know you aren’t likely to believe me because of how I handled things while Bruce was gone.” He sighed, clutching him just a little bit tighter as he said, “I will fully admit that I fucked up with you. There were so many other things I could have done instead, but that’s on me. You were everything a Tim-Robin needed to be. Bruce and I… I don’t think we could ever regret having you as Robin, except for all the pain you’ve suffered because of it.”

Tim broke with a harsh sob, still not able to forget Dick’s fall. “I—I can’t stop seeing it. Dick, I—”

Dick moved them again so that they were facing each other. “Come on, look at me. I know you haven’t, don’t think I didn’t notice that, Timmy. But I’m right here, alive. You just have to look at me, not at the wall. There we go, see? I’m okay.” He offered Tim a small, sad smile.

Tim lurched forward, burying his face in Dick’s neck, and curling around him as tight as he dared. “I’ve mourned so many people,” he whispered thickly. “Even if most of them came back, I can’t—I can’t lose you too.”

“I can’t promise that you won’t,” Dick said after a moment’s pause. “Our lives don’t allow for that. But I swear, as long as I’m alive, I’ll be here for you. Come on, it’s still only one in the morning. Let’s try to get some more sleep, alright? You’ll feel better in the morning.”

Dick tugged Tim into curling up against his side – the uninjured side – and murmured words of comfort that gradually slurred more and more until Dick finally dropped off to sleep.

Tim waited an extra ten minutes before he slipped out of Dick’s arms. He couldn’t stay. Dick would only keep getting hurt until Tim eventually got him killed, just like he ended up getting everyone close to him killed. It didn’t take very long to grab the things that he cared about that were solely his and pack them into his car. The one thing he hesitated on, though, was his box of photographs. If he was going to leave Dick to keep him safe, he needed to leave all of it behind. Dick, the Bats, the vigilante life. The first step would be to let his beginning, his past, go. And that meant he had to leave the photos behind.

Before he left, though, there were two more people he needed to talk to – even if they couldn’t talk back.

- - - - -

The realization wasn’t immediate when he woke up. He was aware that something felt off, but Dick wasn’t sure what it was. Being a vigilante meant that he stayed limp, acting as if he were still asleep and reaching for Tim just as he would have if he were still asleep. If he could subtly wake Tim up, they might be able to—

Tim wasn’t there. Aaand, Dick had found the problem. He shot up, immediately looking for signs of kidnapping – could Ra’s please stop trying to snatch his boyfriend? – or for Tim to be sitting somewhere with his laptop like he usually did when he couldn’t sleep. Instead, he found a room that was emptier than when he went to sleep. Most of Tim’s stuff was gone. After the conversation they had before going back to bed, Dick really doubted that was a good sign.

His eyes caught on a box still on one of the designated Tim-shelves. Tim’s photos. He wanted to take it as a sign that Tim would come back – because he wouldn’t leave those behind for good, right? – but Dick didn’t want to risk it either. He’d let Tim go once before, expecting him to come back until Tim didn’t. He wasn’t making that mistake again.

Babs wouldn’t be pleased by Dick waking her up, but he reasoned that she would be even less pleased if he lost Tim when they had just gotten him back not too long ago. So he called.

Two rings later, she answered. “Someone better be dying if you’re waking me up at… 3:30 in the morning for this.”

“Something happened. Tim thinks that just by knowing him people get hurt, and he decided to leave after I fell asleep. He’s missing and I need your help to find him before he gets too far. Babs, he took nearly all his things.”

There was a long moment of silence on the other end of the line. Then, “Shit. Alright, while I get to my computer, tell me what you can about a timeframe, and I’ll try to find him on a security camera.”

“You already know we both had the night off tonight, so we actually went to bed pretty early,” Dick started explaining. “But then he had a nightmare and woke up sometime before one o’clock. By the time I got him calmed down enough to get some more sleep, it was about one. I was still awake until maybe 1:30, then I crashed. He must have still been awake and snuck out after that, but it would’ve taken some time to load up his car, especially if he was trying not to wake me up.”

Barbara hummed, the clacking of keys in the background. “Alright,” she said, “That gives two hours to work back through, but that shouldn’t take too long sped up. Once I see Tim’s car in its normal spot, I can work forwards more slowly until we’ve got a better idea of when he left. Then I can follow him on the cams. I’ll call back once I have something.”

Dick sagged in relief as she hung up. Babs would find him, with the Bats’ extensive camera coverage of Gotham at her fingertips. A half-hearted laugh slipped out; it was Tim’s own suggestion many years ago to increase the video surveillance over Gotham. Now, it was working against him.

In all fairness, Tim probably thought Dick would stay asleep long enough for him to get too far and disappear completely, but Dick didn’t want to think about that.

He jumped up and hurried to get ready, throwing on warm clothes and bundling up because it was late October in New Jersey, 3:30 in the morning. It was pretty damn cold out, and Tim sometimes forgot to actually put a jacket on, the spleenless idiot. He’d have grabbed Tim one too, just in case, if Tim hadn’t already taken all his. All Dick could do was hope he’d actually put one on.

By the time he was ready to go, he heard his text tone for Babs, hopefully with a location.

[He’s at the cemetery where his parents were buried. I’ll call if he leaves before you get there.]

“Oh, Timmy,” Dick sighed. His chest ached knowing that Tim was visiting his parents’ graves, something he almost never did. He snatched up his keys and headed out. He had a boyfriend to retrieve.

When he got there, Tim’s car was still parked outside the cemetery, packed just as he’d expected. Tim had really been prepared to just drive off and disappear for good. He made his way through the rows of graves silently, soon spotting Tim in the distance. He was curled up against Jack’s gravestone in a t-shirt and jeans. As he got closer, Dick could hear him talking to his parents, and his heart hurt at the words slipping from Tim.

With a quiet sigh, he tugged his jacket off and draped it over his shivering boyfriend. Tim’s rambling stopped abruptly as he looked up at Dick.

- - - - -

Updating his parents on everything took some time, but he had needed to get it off his chest. But now that he’d gotten to what he had really wanted to ask, he hesitated. “Did… did you guys know?” he finally whispered. “Is this why you were always leaving me, because somehow you knew what I do to the people I get close to? Did you leave to try to stay safe from me?”

He choked out a sharp, bitter laugh, and looked down at his fingers weaving through the weeds. “It didn’t work in the end, did it? You’re still dead and… how can that not be, like, my curse? I get people hurt and killed, that’s… that’s all there is to it, really. I got you both killed, just like I got so many people killed already. Just like I’ll get so many more—”

He cut himself off as a jacket – Dick’s jacket – was dropped on him, head snapping up to find Dick watching him sadly. He settled beside Tim, snaking his arms around his waist to pull him closer.

“Baby bird,” Dick murmured, “you’ve got to take better care of yourself, especially without your spleen. You know this.”

Looking away, Tim could only shrug. “Forgot to,” he mumbled. He climbed to his feet, tossing the jacket at Dick, and began weaving back through the graves to his car.

Dick caught up to him quickly. He draped the jacket over Tim’s shoulders again and wrapped his arm around him for good measure.

“Let go already. I’m leaving and you can’t fucking stop me,” Tim snapped, pulling away.

Dick hummed. “We’ll see.”

“What the hell does that mean?!”

“It means,” Dick drawled, holding up a set of keys with a distinctive dice keychain, “that I’m the one with your keys.”

“Dick! Why do you even care?!” Tim yelled. He tried to grab his keys, only for Dick to hold them out of his reach.

Stopping in his tracks, Dick swung Tim around in front of him and stared at him with a hard expression. “I can’t believe you actually just asked me that, but I’ll leave it be because you’ve had a bit of a rough night. I care because I fucking love you, Tim.”

Tim couldn’t help the way his shoulders curled in, or how he looked away.

“Hey,” Dick whispered. A hand on his cheek turned him back towards his boyfriend. “Tim, I let you go once. I let you run off and I didn’t go after you like I should have. I’m not making that mistake again. If you really have to leave you can, but I can’t imagine not coming with you, sweetheart. If you run… I will be right behind you unless you tell me that you truly don’t want me anymore.”

A raspy chuckle slipped out against Tim’s will. “You aren’t exactly Nick Parker, and I’m no Elizabeth James,” he murmured.

That drew a small laugh, as Dick wiped away Tim’s tears that he hadn’t realized were falling. “You can’t distract me with ‘Parent Trap’ references, Timmy. I’m serious. If you need to leave Gotham, I’ll be right there with you. I’m not letting you run off alone with some dumb idea that you’re protecting me.”

“Yeah,” Tim sighed. He leaned into Dick’s touch and squeezed the hand Dick still held. “I’m starting to get that.”

“Great! Then you are going to get back in your car and drive straight home. When you get there, I want you to bundle up in blankets and put a Studio Ghibli movie in.”

Tim stopped mid-reach for his keys. “And what, exactly, are you planning on doing, if you’re not following me back?”

Dick dropped Tim’s keys in his hand and winked. “I’m going to swing by a 24-hour diner for pancakes, and then I’m coming home to snuggle up with you and watch movies. We’re both taking tomorrow off. And,” the grin gave way to a Bat-glare, “if you aren’t home by the time I get there, I’m calling in the entire superhero community to hunt you down.”

“Okay, okay,” Tim laughed lightly. “I get it. I’ll be there.”

“Good!” Dick pecked the cold tip of his nose. “Head home, baby bird, and… please, don’t try to leave again, unless it’s what you really want?”

Tim pulled Dick down into a full, chaste kiss. “I’ll try not to,” he murmured. “See you at home.”

“Go get warmed up, sweetheart,” Dick said, pushing him towards his car. He had some pancakes to pick up.

#dicktim #fanfiction #dcu #Tim Drake #dick grayson #Red Robin #nightwing #elyrey writes things #tim drake angst #established relationship #emotional hurt/comfort #angst with a happy ending #fluff and angst

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idnek83 · 3 years

Text

Aid - Chapter 10/13

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Soda Kazuichi/Tanaka Gundham

Tags: Alternate Universe - Island Mode, No Game Spoilers, Masturbation, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Semi-Public Sex, Grinding, Wet Dreams, Anal Fingering, Friends With Benefits, Getting Together, Internalized Homophobia, Anal Sex

Summary: Everyone is hot and half naked because of their beach vacation. Soda is horny and tries to do something about it. Gundham tries to help and does. It all gets a little out of hand.

Chapter: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13

Read on Ao3

This Chapter: Soda finally talks about his feelings: Soda stumbles, Gundham nearly breaks.

_____________________

Soda woke to a ray of sun on his face.

He shifted to try to get the light away from his eyes, sliding his head up from Gundham’s chest to his shoulder. Gundham was still sleeping soundly, and Soda took a moment to enjoy the peaceful rise and fall of his chest, bringing his hand up to rest over his heart. It beat steadily, Soda closed his eyes and synched his breaths with Gundham’s while he listened to that steady, comforting beat.

He wanted to wake up like this everyday. Slowly, peacefully, and being held by the man…

The man he loved.

He turned his reddened face to hide it in Gundham’s chest. He knew exactly what he had been feeling, and he knew he couldn’t deny it anymore. The way Gundham had made him feel as he had cried in his arms, the way he made him feel when he called him all those strange names and flashed him those soft smiles… he knew what that feeling was. He had known for a while.

He had just been too scared to admit it.

Now, warmed by the early sunlight and Gundham’s arms, tucked into his side and listening to his heart, even the fear couldn’t make him deny it anymore.

He felt doubt creeping back into his brain as he continued to slowly wake. He tried to push it back, tried to enjoy the moment just a bit longer…

But his feelings didn’t matter. There was no way Gundham could feel the same, not about someone like him. Gundham was tall, and smart, and handsome, and kind, and funny, and… and he was just Soda. Stupid, average looking at best, quick to anger, and slow to catch on, even to his own feelings.

No one could want him.

He felt a sleepy kiss pressed into his hair and opened his eyes. He hadn’t realized he had started crying again, but Gundham was already wiping away his tears. Everything he had already been feeling swelled up in his chest and he knew this was it.

No more waiting.

“I’m ready to talk.”

His voice was quiet, barely a whisper, but he knew Gundham heard him, felt the way the arm around his back pulled him a little closer, felt another kiss to his forehead and a hand combing through his hair.

“I’m here.” Gundham’s voice was quiet too, rough with sleep and even deeper than usual. Soda hoped he would be able to hear it that way again. “Do you wish me only to listen? Or would you like me to speak as well?”

“I love it when you speak.” He spoke the words without consciously deciding to, but he couldn’t take them back now. He distracted himself by smoothing his hand across Gundham’s chest, and he felt a hand squeeze his hip lightly.

“Then I will.” He felt both their hearts beat a little faster.

“I…” He remembered the last time they had really spent any time together, that breakfast with just the two of them that had been so great until- “I’m sorry about… our breakfast the other day, I, uh, kinda ruined it by storming off like that.”

“Certainly that is not what has been weighing on your mind all this time?” Gundham didn’t sound upset, he just sounded curious.

“I, uh, no? But I feel like I should, like, get it out of the way? I really do feel bad about it so, um… sorry.” It felt stupid, but it also felt like a weight off his shoulders.

“I… cannot deny I was curious about the situation. I understand the dark queen was being somewhat rude but-”

“What?”

“Hm? Sonia. She was acting quite coldly towards you, but I do not understand why you reacted so strongly on that particular occasion.”

“I- but I mean I, like, kind of deserved that, didn’t I? I mean I… I’ve been treating her pretty badly for a while now…” Soda started nervously drawing shapes on Gundham’s chest. What was he saying? He had already gone over the whole situation in his mind; it had been his fault, even if Sonia had been a little rude, it was only because he deserved it.

Gundham heaved a heavy sigh, and Soda kind of enjoyed the way his own head rose and fell with it.

“We spoke, after you left.” Soda looked up to try to see what kind of face Gundham was making, but he was staring up at the ceiling. He would have had to sit up to see his face, and he wasn’t willing to move away from Gundham, even a little.

Not yet.

“What… did you talk about?” Soda knew. He had stormed off and they had talked about how much he had overreacted. They talked about how rude he was and how stupid he was for ever thinking Sonia would like him.

How stupid he was for thinking anyone would like him.

He pushed the side of his face back into Gundham’s chest.

Not yet.

“The two of you… you do not treat each other fairly.” Gundham began to rub his back. “You do not give Sonia the space she requires, not do you treat her as an equal, but rather, as some ideal being. She does not appreciate it.” Yeah, he already knew that. He was a creep who had obsessed over her without ever bothering to notice he was making her uncomfortable, and without bothering to get to know the real her.

“And the dark queen, she…” Hates Soda and is completely justified in it? He knew that too. “She treats you too harshly.” What? “She behaves as if you are not there, only acknowledging your presence when she stands to gain something.”

“What?”

“Do you disagree?” Gundham looked down at him quizzically.

“Well, no? But I, uh, kinda deserve it? Like it’s my fault she treats me like that so-”

Gundham heaved another sigh and kissed his forehead again. Soda wished he had been counting, he wanted to remember every one of those little kisses once this was all over.

Not yet.

“You are too hard on yourself, my sweet consort.” Soda didn’t know what to say. Gundham was just saying that to make him feel better, right? “You are partly at fault, but even the dark queen admits her hand helped shape the situation.”

What? Sonia thought-? But it had all been Soda’s fault, hadn’t it?

Hadn’t it?

“But I am curious, my consort, this situation is not new, and I do not recall ever witnessing you react so… strongly to it before. What caused you to have such a volatile reaction?”

It was Soda’s turn to sigh. He rolled onto his back, keeping his head on Gundham’s shoulder.

Not yet.

“I- hm, I guess it had kinda been building up for a while? Like, even though she treats me like I don’t exist, I really like her.” He blushed a little at the admission and looked up at Gundham. He looked… confused? Huh? He thought everyone knew he liked Sonia, it wasn’t exactly a secret. Well whatever, Gundham was probably thinking about something else. He looked back at the ceiling. “Like, I realize we’re probably never going to date or anything cus, well, like you just said, I kinda treat her… or I guess we both kinda treat each other like shit?” It felt weird to say it like that, ‘we both’ like he actually wasn’t the only one responsible. “But, I can’t really help how I feel about her, right? Like, feelings don’t just stop cus you know it’s not gonna work out, y’know?”

Gundham still looked like he was thinking pretty hard about something, but he responded with a little nod and hummed in agreement.

“So yeah, I guess I was frustrated? And it just kept building and building, and then… Well, you remember how she told me to apologize to you? For ignoring you? Like, I wasn’t even ignoring you! I was just kinda spacy! But it just- I mean, her asking me to apologize for ignoring someone? It just like- I couldn’t handle that. It just, ugh, it pissed me off so much! But I didn’t want to, like, yell at her like a jerk or something so… I just left, y’know?”

“Mm, I… suppose I understand. It was rather hypocritical of her.” Gundham still looked like he was thinking hard about something. Had he said something weird? “I… did not realize you still held feelings for Sonia at that time.” Gundham looked at him then. He looked… concerned now? Upset maybe? Was he just worried about Soda’s weird obsession with Sonia then?

“Yeah, I uh, probably should have gotten over it a long time ago, huh? But-” he took a deep breath and sat up so he could face Gundham.

Now.

“I guess you just really can’t, um, control who you like, right?” He could feel himself blushing, could feel it spreading over his whole body. But he could do this. He was going to do this.

“So, you… still have feelings for her?” Why was Gundham so caught up on that? He started sitting up too, giving Soda another one of those confused, concerned looks.

Probably best to just tell him the truth, don’t want to start this thing with a lie.

“Y-yeah. I’ve given up on her, but even then, it’s not like feelings just go away immediately.” He forced a laugh. Why did it feel so awkward suddenly?

“I… see.” Gundham wasn’t looking at him. “I… appreciate your honesty.”

What was that supposed to mean? What the hell was going on in Gundham’s head? Maybe he should wait to-

No. No more waiting, no more chickening out. It was time to do this.

“Yeah, um, I mean I actually think this whole thing with you really helped-“

Gundham’s head snapped up.

“Thing?” Huh? Had Gundham sounded… angry just then?

“Uh, yeah, like the ‘pact’ thing? An, um, ‘aiding’ each other?”

Gundham narrowed his eyes, he looked like he was thinking hard again. What the hell was happening? Did Gundham know what he was about to say? Was he just grossed out and trying to think of a way to get Soda out of his cabin before he could say it? He’d better hurry up…

“Um, anyways, this has all really helped me realize some, uh, things about myself like, what I want and how I want people to treat me and stuff… and, um, I know this has really just been, like, a sex thing but-”

“Just a sex thing?” Gundham hissed out the words. Yeah, that time he had definitely been angry.

“Y-yeah?” Why was Gundham so upset? He watched him take a few deep breaths as he regained his composure.

“I did not realize that is all you thought this was.” Gundham swallowed, he looked like he was trying hard to keep his face neutral. “I did not think our pact to be simply… carnal.” He practically spit the last word.

Shit, what? Gundham had thought they were more than fuck buddies? What? Gundham was standing now, looking for his clothes.

“Wait, what? I-” Did that mean? “So, then, do you, like, like me?” What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck?

“Much more than you like me, it would seem.” Gundham pulled on his pants and wasn’t looking at Soda. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck-

“Wait, I-I think I misunderstood-“

Gundham turned and fucking glared at him.

“What are the odds, it would appear I misunderstood as well.” He practically shouted, the anger fell from his face, and he just he looked tired. “I did not realize I was… just a sex thing to you.”

Gundham tossed him his clothes.

“Leave me. I… need to think.” He turned from Soda and he heard him take a deep, shaky breath.

That was it, Gundham hated him. He dressed as quickly as he could then moved towards the door, but… could he really just leave things like this?

“Gundham, I’m-”

“Go.” Gundham seemed to choke on the word. Was he… crying?

Shit, Soda was the worst. No wonder so many people hated him.

He turned, left, and headed directly to his own cabin.

–

He felt empty. He sat on his bed, and he just felt empty. Gundham hated him and he had never even managed to confess. He was such a fuck up.

And Gundham had… he liked Soda? He had pretty much said that, right? And not only that, but he had thought they were more than… ‘just a sex thing.’ God, his own stupid, careless words sounded so much worse every time he replayed them in his head.

So then, Gundham had thought they were basically, like, dating then? And then Soda had fucked him and treated it like a hook-up, and now Gundham never wanted to see him again. He couldn’t even blame him for being so pissed.

He had already had everything he wanted, he was just too god damned stupid to realize it.

And he had just fucked it up forever.

Fuck.

Next Chapter

#Soudam #Soda kazuichi #Gundham Tanaka #Soda/Gundham #danganronpa #danganronpa 2 #fic #My writing #Fic Aid #Fellas is it gay to be crushed when you find out he thinks you're just fuck-buddies?

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halothenthehorns · 3 years

Text

THE WEIGHING OF THE WANDS

"Dad?" Harry whispered when he just kept sitting there, glaring down at the pages, and Harry finally realized he had been the only one not to say anything.

"Oh I am beyond pissed," he said at once with broiling tones. "I'm going to knock him a good one if I ever get the pleasure of meeting him-" his face twitched though, some old regret finally tampering down the tone, "but I'd be a right hypocrite if I sat here and gave somebody else the piss about doing this."

"Oh come on Prongs," Sirius whined, turning a still fiery look on him which drowned out his attempt at a joke. "That was years ago, we've gotten over it. I've admitted I deserved it."

"Still," James groused, shoving the book towards him without looking at anyone. "I made that mistake once before, judging someone just because they made a stupid bleeding decision. If Harry and Ron never make up for Ron acting like a royal prat, than so be it, but I'm certainly not going to say anything against him because he's said and done something stupid in regards to one of his friends."

"I, I really don't believe you," Remus gasped as he stared right at him, sure at any moment James was going to crack and start yelling and screaming along with the rest of them. "What Sirius did is much worse than this-"

"-Gee thanks Moony-" Sirius muttered under his breath.

James cut across both of them as he nodded, "that's true, and my point. What Ron's doing is wrong, and stupid, but I'm going to sit over here and hope he gets over it and apologizes more than curse him out about it." He clearly was not pleased at his own decision, but he still sat back with his arms crossed and a set look saying he was going to do his damndest to uphold that as long as he could.

Sirius looked from the book to his best mate like he wasn't sure who was giving him a turn more, but finally he decided to leave Prongs be for now.

When Harry woke up on Sunday morning, it took him a moment to remember why he felt so miserable and worried.

Sirius hadn't ever been this mad at Ron before. He'd been angry at Hermione plenty of times, but at least he could wrap his mind around her. This was, petty, and so stupid! Anybody who knew Harry for a few minutes ought to realize he wouldn't have really done something like this, Ron had been his friend for over three years by now and hadn't stuck by his mate! He quickly pushed past the rather confusing feeling that he was technically this steamed over someone he'd never actually met.

Then he remembered his fight with Ron, and sat up with the full intentions of forcing Ron to believe him,

"You shouldn't have to," Remus snarled under his breath.

only to find that Ron's bed was empty.

Lily groaned, wondering how long this was going to last, holding out for hope that the two boys would make up.

Harry dressed and went down as well, but the moment he appeared in front of others they started applauding him again.

James had to really fight down the impulse to make a crude gesture at people who weren't here. Couldn't they take a hint?

The idea of facing the rest of the castle was not appealing, but it was a choice between that or staying up here with his own adoring house, so he made for the portrait and had barely climbed out when he ran into Hermione.

It really was sad that Harry had to watch them all tense in unease, clearly fearing yet another row. Surely at least Hermione would believe him!

She greeted him with a friendly enough tone, holding up a stack of toast for him and offering to go for a walk.

"That's encouraging," Sirius grumbled, his eyes narrowing in thought as he tried to guess if Hermione would have started yelling at him at once like Ron would have, or would try to drag him somewhere private to shout at him for doing this.

Harry agreed, and the two wound up strolling around the lake as Harry explained himself. Hermione took it all in without question.

"Oh thank Merlin," Lily sighed, slumping back into the couch in relief.

Hermione agreed she'd known at once Harry hadn't done it, she'd seen the look on his face last night.

James sighed, wishing he didn't have a first hand account on that face, that it hadn't reappeared on his son now and this was all just a really bad joke.

She did go on to say that Moody had a point, a student couldn't have done this- but Harry interrupted to ask if she'd seen Ron?

"Unbelievably, I'd have rather just let Hermione keep going," Sirius snapped.

Hermione hesitated before admitting she had. Harry demanded if he really thought he'd entered himself? Hermione tried to say that wasn't entirely it, not really.

"What does she mean, not really?" Remus scowled. "Either he does and needs to pull his head out of his arse, or doesn't in which case I'd like to think he'd have come to apologize to you the moment reality came back to him."

Harry didn't answer, he had no more idea than them.

Harry demanded to know what that meant, and Hermione said it was obvious.

"No," all five of them grumbled.

He was jealous.

"Jealous of what?" Harry demanded, his outrage still somehow managing to grow.

Harry demanded to know of what, and Hermione tried to explain that it was always Harry getting the attention,

"It's not my fault," Harry howled in outrage to no one in particular, he knew they all knew it, he just couldn't help it!

she agreed it wasn't his fault when Harry looked to interrupt her,

"Guess I don't need to ask what he was going to say," Sirius muttered.

but with all of his brothers at home, and his best friend being so famous, well he was always overlooked and this was just one time too many.

"I can't garner much pity for him," Lily scathed, "if he wants to take your place and put his name on the chopping block, he could have at it."

Harry bitterly agreed that was great news for him, he'd swap any time! Hermione could go tell him if he wanted people following him around, gawping at his forehead- but Hermione cut him off saying she wasn't telling Ron anything.

"Can't blame her there," James sighed, "I wouldn't want to be the messenger bird for this either."

Harry should tell him, it was the only way for them to get over this. Harry shouted back he wasn't going to follow Ron around trying to force him to grow up!

"And no one blames you," Remus agreed in clipped tones.

Maybe Ron would believe him once he'd broken his neck!

"Oh don't," Lily forced back yet more anger at her son, he was speaking in a temper, but still she had to fight the impulse to smack him for making jokes about this.

Harry muttered a sorry for her, though he hardly looked repentant enough it was clear he may have kept going to Hermione at least.

Hermione told him off for that, saying this wasn't funny! Reminding him he had to do something the moment he got back to the castle.

"Convince Dumbledore to let you drop out of school," Remus rolled his eyes.

"Go ask Moody to teach you every flipping curse he knows and then some," Lily huffed.

"Shove Ron's head through a wall," Sirius sniffed.

"Learn to live under your Invisibility Cloak for the time being," James sighed, crossing his arms in agitation.

Harry couldn't help but give just the tiniest smile at all of them, they'd all spoken at almost the exact same time, and considering what he'd been fixing to say what had flitted across his mind, he kept his mouth shut to let Sirius read.

Harry agreed he'd give Ron a good kick up the-

"Do not blame you," Sirius spat, though it was conjoined with quite a bit of mirth that time as he gave them all smug smirks Harry had said the same thing as him.

Hermione interrupted to say he should write to Sirius.

"Oh," they all muttered. Well at least Hermione's suggestion was doable. They could only imagine his reaction though, and James and Remus couldn't help but exchange a half terrified look as all of what he'd say to this came to their mind. Sirius had come back to the country just because Harry's scar had hurt, what would he do when he heard about this?

Harry needed to write to him first, tell him what was going on. He'd been sending them warnings he was afraid something bad was going to happen, almost like he expected this.

"I highly doubt I saw this coming," Sirius grumbled, his eyes still narrowed as he tried to understand his own future mind. He clearly was being mindful of something, if his cryptic little comment was anything to go by then maybe he had been expecting some trouble and that's why he'd wanted to stay close to Harry, but no one would have seen this coming.

Harry told her she was being insane. He'd come back to the country because Harry's scar had hurt, he'd probably come storming right into the castle when he heard about this!

"I believe that," Lily said sincerely, now watching him out of the corner of her eye.

"I wouldn't do it as myself at least," he rolled his eyes at all of them staring at him. "I'd change into my dog and become his new shadow instead."

"That didn't make me feel much better," Harry muttered, as they all noticed he didn't deny it.

Hermione insisted Sirius should hear this from him, he'd find out anyways.

"Why would he?" Harry demanded uneasily, feeling bad at Sirius' flinch. He felt bad for trying to hide something like this from his Godfather, but he still had a point it would be better for his sanity if he didn't know.

"Harry, this will be a very publicized event," James sighed. "I wouldn't be surprised if it was already front headline news, and even if Sirius isn't bothering to look at any of that, it'll be the talk of wherever he is. He will find out about this, so Hermione's right, better it come from you."

Harry groaned, but nodded his head in agreement, hoping Hermione got that through to him.

Harry asked how, and Hermione pointed out this wasn't going to be kept quiet, in a very serious tone.

"I expect she'd do a rather poor impersonation of me," Sirius said sagely, giving Harry a moment to start laughing at least.

This would be front headline news! Harry finally agreed he'd do it.

Sirius fully relaxed for the first time since he'd heard this happening to Harry. He knew it would have bothered him greatly if Harry never had written to him about this, and though it hurt that it took Hermione convincing him to do so, he hoped that it would be of some comfort to Harry that he really did have someone besides Hermione who believed him and was just trying to watch out for him.

He finished the last of his toast and threw the crust into the lake, where a tentacle could be seen coming up to snatch it away.

"Always more fascinating than feeding ducks," Remus sighed.

They went back to the castle, up to the Owlery, where Harry asked what owl he was supposed to use as he couldn't let Hedwig. Hermione suggested Ron's-

"I can't picture him asking Ron for a bottle of ink, let alone his ruddy owl," Lily sniffed.

but Harry refused the idea at once, so Hermione just reminded he could use a school owl. Harry sat down and tried to write his letter.

"This out to be interesting," James got out after a heavy sigh, for once that jealousy wasn't returning that Harry had to turn to Sirius instead of him about this. At least Harry had someone to talk to.

Harry started by saying he'd been asked to tell what was going on at Hogwarts, well here it is.

"Well that's one way to start," Lily told him with an almost straight face, fascinated her son was pretending to start this letter off in a casual manner.

He went on to explain about the Triwizard Tournament, and how he'd been made the fourth champion. Adding on that the other Hogwarts champion was a Hufflepuff named Cedric Diggory.

"I think at some point you can keep this letter to pertinent information only," Remus rolled his eyes.

He hesitated there, unclear how to put into words this ball of anxiety that seemed to be living in him.

Harry began rubbing absently at his chest, his face going vacant as he clearly all too well remembered that. Sirius scooted just that little bit closer to him, and said, "don't worry pup, we know everything works out fine."

It seemed to take a moment for that to sink in, before Harry shook himself and smiled at him, saying, "yeah, I know." He looked for a moment like he wanted to add something more, but when he didn't Sirius just decided to keep going, rather than Harry forcing anything out.

He signed off by telling Sirius to give a hello to Buckbeak.

"The concern's touching," James told Harry with a straight face, "but I'm sure out of everyone, Buckbeak is the most okay."

It was the first time they'd all collectively snorted in amusement since the start of this stupid Goblet mess, and as they knew it wasn't going to go away for a long time, they basked in the moment while they could.

He announced he was done, and Hedwig came down to perch on his shoulder with her leg out.

"Uhoh," Lily muttered, shifting around in unease, this wasn't going to be pretty.

Harry tried to explain to her he couldn't use her, but she shrieked in outrage and flew up to the highest ramparts while scratching Harry's shoulder upon take off. Harry waited until he sent the other owl off and tried to call her back down, but she refused and snapped her beak at him.

"I'm going out on a limb here, and think you really offended her," Remus winced for Harry's outraged face.

"Any owl would act like that," Lily sighed even if she did agree.

Harry lost his temper and shouted back at her that first Ron, now her, this wasn't his fault!

Causing all five of them to wince now, feeling like they'd just received a blow to the gut. It felt like most of the bad situations Harry landed in weren't his fault, and yet he always seemed to get the blame for them anyways.

Harry hadn't really believed that things would calm down once classes resumed, and one lesson showed he was right.

"Why does Harry still have to go to lessons," James demanded, seeing Harry's face get more down trodden the longer this carried on. "The Beauxbatons and Durmstrangs don't."

"Guess it's a nice distraction at least," Lily sighed, "rather than stewing in his room all day."

Either the Gryffindors were still applauding him as he passed by, or there was the rest of the houses. The Hufflepuffs in particular made it clear of their dislike for him, as they still felt they were being denied their houses glory which they rarely received.

"Guess I never really thought about it," Sirius muttered, still wanting to smack any badger kid right then for making his pup feel worse in an already terrible situation.

One Herbology class was all it took to prove this, as normal friends of his, Justin and Ernie, laughed outright when a Bouncing Bulb smacked him in the face.

"Least it was the face," Remus told Harry, casting his mind around for anything to get rid of that look again. "When we had to do them, one managed to get Sirius in the-"

"Okay, he gets it," Sirius yelped in remembered pain, making sure Remus saw his stank eye for bringing that back up before quickly reading on loudly before Harry's laughter could subside.

Ron still wasn't speaking to Harry, though Hermione was constantly going back and forth between the two trying to have normal conversations.

'Poor Hermione always seems to be taking the backlash of every fight' James couldn't help but think, but decided against voicing that one.

They sat on either side of her and responded only to her. Even Professor Sprout seemed on edge with Harry, though as she was Head of Hufflepuff House, Harry didn't have to guess why.

"Wish the teachers would show a bit more decorum," Lily muttered, thinking that she thought that far too often. The adults seemed just as bad as the students at that school some days.

Normally he would have been relieved to head down to Hagrid's

"I swear if Hagrid starts to congratulate you on this, I'll steal his umbrella and give it another crack over his head," Sirius seethed.

for Care of Magical Creatures, but this also meant coming into contact with Slytherins. Malfoy was predictable as ever, a sneer lodging into place on his face the moment he caught sight of Harry.

"Of course, can't bleeding go one moment without hearing his opinion on it," James snarled.

He greeted Harry as the champion he was, telling everyone to get their autograph books and the likes out. Then he offered if anyone wanted to make bets on how long he'd last, Malfoy could only see ten minutes.

Lily started to wring her own hands, trying to pretend she wasn't picturing that child's neck instead for making such a cruel comment about her baby.

His friends laughed along, but thankfully they were thoroughly distracted by Hagrid arriving and explaining today's lesson, which was to take the skrewts out on a walk.

Remus' mouth opened with a little pop of horror, but Sirius decided to get the full pandemonium out before anyone could regain composure.

They were to fix a leash to them and each take one out.

"He, but they, why?" James balked, trying to imagine the idea made him want to hide inside the Forest until Hagrid came to his senses.

"The only thing I can imagine is that Hagrid's trying to keep them all distracted by such a deadly task, they won't have time to be mocking Harry," Lily huffed.

"I can't imagine why it won't work," Harry told her with a raised brow.

Malfoy demanded where they'd attach it to, the stinger, the blasting end, or the sucker?

"I vote all three," Remus rolled his eyes, "see which one gets you first, we can take bets on that instead."

Hagrid demonstrated how they were to go around their middle, then called Harry over to help him with the largest one.

They all couldn't help but tense up again, not finding it a coincidence for one second Hagrid had pulled him aside.

Hagrid's real intention, however, was to talk to Harry away from the rest of the class. He waited until everyone else had set off with their skrewts, then turned to Harry and said, very seriously,

"Hagrid would do an even worse impression of me," Sirius said with absolute chipper, unbelievably pleased he was sitting by Harry so that his friends could only give him the stank eye for his running gag, his smile actually widening when still no one told him off for it, for now.

about how Harry was the school champion. Harry corrected one of the champions.

"I don't blame you for trying to deflect," Lily nodded.

"But now's not the time to make distinctions, when that wasn't his point," Remus rolled his eyes.

Hagrid watched him anxiously as he asked if Harry had any ideas who'd done this to him?

The collective sigh of relief they all felt at finally someone other than Hermione treating this situation properly felt like a massive weight had been lifted off them all.

Harry was relieved that Hagrid believed him, and Hagrid agreed of course he did, so did Dumbledore.

"Did a piss job of showing it," Sirius grumbled.

Harry agreed he wished he did know who'd done it. They watched the students for a few moments where the skrewts, who were now three feet long, were towing them around with ease,

"Lovely," Lily rolled her eyes.

"I really want to see these things in person," Remus agreed without a trace of sarcasm.

Hagrid said at least they were having fun.

"Err, who was he referring to?" James asked, considering what Harry had just described, fun didn't sound like the right word.

"The skrewts I'm sure," Harry responded with a stupid, relieved smile still on his face.

Harry assumed Hagrid meant the skrewts, because the beasts were occasionally releasing a fiery blast from their ends and dragging his classmates off their feet.

Causing maniacal giggles to erupt through the room, remembering Ron would be one of those, wishing Harry could have gotten pictures of Malfoy being the other.

Hagrid turned back to Harry and told him that it felt like everything happened to Harry.

"Yeah, that bout covered it," Sirius agreed with a touch of bitterness drowning out the tone he'd been trying for.

Harry agreed that felt true, and was apparently the reason Ron wasn't talking to him anymore.

"I think it's a little more narrower than that," Lily spat, the absolute hatred of Harry's friend treating him like that burning almost as much as what Snape had been up to.

"The fact that he's pissed he doesn't get all the attention doesn't exactly equal out to Harry's always the one in these life or death situations," James agreed with a crinkled nose.

The next few days were some of Harry's worst at Hogwarts.

"Which is saying something when you consider my second year," Harry snapped.

At least in times before when this had happened, he'd had Ron on his side. He knew he could have ignored everything around him if that were still true, but now he had loneliness pouring in from all sides.

Sirius couldn't stop a pitiful sigh, remembering that feeling all too well, never having wished it on his pup. At least he had Hermione.

The Gryffindors still only believed that Harry had entered himself and congratulated him whenever they could. He at least expected the attitude from the Slytherin's and Hufflepuffs, but had hoped at least the Ravenclaws would find it in themselves to understand. They didn't. Most clearly thought he'd been trying for a bit more glory as well.

Remus kept muttering things under his breath Lily would have told him off for, especially saying that while holding her baby, and instead told him to keep it in his head or she'd take him back.

The opposite was happening to Cedric, who in Harry's opinion, looked much more like the part of champion. Extremely handsome with dark hair and gray eyes, between him and Krum it was a wonder who was getting more attention these days. Harry once spotted the same group of girls begging for Krum's autograph, now asking the same of Cedric.

"He won't look so pretty if I get a chance to meet him," James promised.

Sirius still hadn't replied, Hedwig refused to go near him, Trelawney was now predicting his death with more certainty than ever,

"Oh thank you, at least someone's happy," Lily snapped.

and he did so poorly in his next Charms class, Flitwick assigned him and Neville alone extra homework on the Summoning Charm.

Hermione was trying to comfort him it wasn't that difficult.

"Since I'm thinking she says that about every spell," Sirius rolled his eyes, "I don't think that's too reassuring."

She'd been able to pull off the spell since the beginning of class. Hermione tried to say he just wasn't concentrating enough-

"And that felt more like something a teacher would say to help," James rolled his eyes, "so it's not even good advice."

Harry snapped he had no idea what could be distracting him, as he walked past a group of girls who gave Harry a look like he was a Blast-Ended Skrewt.

"Well there's an original look at least," Remus huffed.

But hey, at least they had double Potions to look forward to!

"Bloody hell kill me now," Sirius groaned, face planting the pages for a moment to collect himself before deciding to just get this over with.

That class had turned into a weakly torture session for Harry, it was the most unpleasant thing he could imagine lately.

"Nah, there are worse things," James said with as much enthusiasm as he could as he cast his mind around, though it was difficult to come up with a worse scenario than that.

"Yeah, all your terrible predictions could come true," Remus quickly jumped in, "so you could be drowning in the lake."

"Or be trampled by a rampaging Hippogriff," James agreed with a wicked smirk.

"Those burns almost came true," Sirius nodded along, "if you'd been walking a skrewt like the rest."

Harry wasn't exactly looking reassured.

Lily had decided this had gone on long enough, so she smarted off, "-or have to deal with a dragon," with a sideways look at Sirius.

His smile disappeared at once and he glared hard at her for a moment before snapping, "now look what you've done, gone and killed all the fun." He turned back to the pages with a humph of protest.

He'd spent the previous one's with Hermione at his elbow muttering 'ignore them' under her breath, and didn't see this one going any better.

"That's not helpful advice either," James groaned, remembering the more vivid reaction Ron had once given of throwing a crocodile heart in Malfoy's face, now that was useful. You'd think the smartest girl in their year would have something wiser to say about this.

They arrived in front of the door to see the students lined up as usual, though oddly most of the Slytherins seemed to be wearing badges. For a moment Harry thought they were S. P. E. W.

"Hermione couldn't pay them to pull that off," Remus raised a brow in surprise.

but upon reading saw they were support Cedric badges, the real Hogwarts Champion.

Lily groaned, fighting back every part of her that wanted to scream that they were all being little shits. If Harry wasn't involved in this, she doubted Malfoy would be supporting Cedric, he was just doing this to be an arse to her son.

Malfoy looked extremely pleased with himself as he told Harry that wasn't all they could do

"I already hate this, and yet it's going to get worse," James said without a shadow of a doubt.

as he tapped the badge and it instead said Potter Stinks.

"Congratulations Prongs," Sirius hissed.

Hermione told them with heavy sarcasm that was so brilliant. Ron was standing up the ways near Dean and Seamus. He wasn't laughing along like most, but he wasn't wearing a badge either.

"Well there's something," James sighed, running his hand through his hair in an effort not to form a fist.

Malfoy offered one to Granger, telling her if she took it not to touch his skin, he didn't want Mudblood on it.

"That's it! A ferrets too good for this one. Someone turn him into a bug and squish him already!" Sirius howled in outrage, unbelievably even more incensed than before now that he'd said that!

"Won't find me stopping you," Harry hissed, thinking back to that built up anger he'd been feeling at Hogwarts for so long and hoping it would snap on him.

Something burst inside Harry's chest as he drew his wand, though Hermione tried to stop him.

"Don't you Harry him," Lily snarled, "you've punched him for saying less."

Malfoy drew his own as he began taunting Potter.

"He shouldn't have had the time," Remus snapped, "you should have shot a curse the moment your wand cleared your pocket."

"Or shot one while your wand was still in your pocket," Sirius agreed, "sneak attacks get the best results."

They stood frozen for a moment before they shot spells at the same time, Harry using 'Furnunculus'

"Tame-" James raised a brow.

"-but acceptable," Sirius shrugged.

"For starters," Remus smirked.

while Malfoy used 'Densaugeo.'

"Don't recognize that one," Lily said in surprise.

"Knowing Malfoy, I doubt it's a nice one," Harry frowned, trying to think back what it had done to him.

The spells hit each other and ricocheted off onto others, Harry's hitting Goyle, and Malfoy's hitting Hermione.

"Shit," they all yelped, sitting up much straighter in their seats to hear what had happened.

Goyle screamed in pain as he felt his nose, where boils were springing up all over. Hermione stumbled back in shock, clutching her mouth.

"What did he do to her?" James growled.

Ron jumped forward, trying to pull her hands away to see the damage,

Harry felt the briefest bit of something, relieved his friend was still in there enough to care about their mutual friend. It was still being drowned with worry about Hermione.

it wasn't a pretty sight.

"Oh no," Lily sighed.

Hermione's buck teeth were growing well past anything average, quickly elongating down past her lip so that she looked like a beaver, and still growing.

"Oh that poor thing," Lily couldn't help but coo.

"Harry definitely sent a better curse," Sirius said with a raised brow, "what exactly was that spell meant to do? Elongate whatever feature it hit?"

"Is that really the point now?" She snapped at him.

Sirius gave a halfhearted shrug, he felt bad for Hermione of course, but he was far more concerned Malfoy would keep going while Harry was distracted.

Snape arrived then, pointing at Malfoy and demanded he explain.

"And still this situation is going to somehow get worse," James seethed.

Malfoy exclaimed that Potter had attacked him, while Harry corrected they'd attacked at the same time!

Remus was probably the only one who thought that Harry had technically drawn first, not that he'd admit that to his dying breath, Malfoy more than deserved it.

Then they each showed the injuries caused. Snape took a look at Goyle and sent him off to the Hospital Wing, but when Ron dragged Hermione forward and showed what Malfoy had done to her, her teeth now reached her collar amidst the giggling going on behind Snape's back,

"I know for a fact they don't have to bother hiding," Remus snapped.

Snape said he saw no difference.

The others mouths flopped open in horror, apparently too outraged to start yelling at him on top of everything else. It was likely to wear off in moments, but James recovered first. Taking all of his built up frustration and anger that he was trying his hardest not to use on Ron, he had no problems directing them at this wastrel. He began calling Snape every single thing he could think of for what he'd just done to that girl, still a child in respect to when this had happened. At least when he treated Harry like garbage he understood the reason, but with the other kids like Neville and Hermione, he didn't bleeding understand why he seemed to go out of his way to do this to them. Lily or anyone else couldn't blame this on him and Snivellus' war, to take it out on these random kids. Remus had been victimized all his life and he'd never done a bleeding thing like this! He pegged a lot of it down to how he must have developed into a Death Eater, how those loons must have turned an already screwed up, twisted little man into someone whose sole purpose was to make a bunch of kids cry on a regular basis. The only explanation he could come up with was because he was an arse!

The yelling was forced to die down as it so often did because the baby in the room began crying right along with them, and no one wanted to hear that noise. Remus was having problems keeping him simmered down though, mostly because he was so on edge himself, and it was happening so frequently. It truly was sad they couldn't seem to go one chapter anymore without finding something to upset their charge, but no one wanted to put him up either, like they hoped if they just kept going they'd find a reason to keep him near.

Hermione began crying as she tore back up the stairs out of sight.

Lily was nearly crying herself, though in frustration. How her oldest friend who'd always been so kind to her could actually reduce a child to tears like that! It used to be unthinkable, now she was regretting every moment she couldn't curse Snape into oblivion.

Harry and Ron began shouting in unison what they thought of Snape for that, causing such a racket that it echoed around them and exact words couldn't be picked out,

"Wish you could have done worse," Sirius growled.

but Snape got the gist of it. He took away fifty points from Gryffindor and gave each of them a detention.

Remus made such a noise, it sounded like he was being strangled, he just couldn't put into words how wrong this was and that no one ever stopped him from doing it!

Harry's ears were ringing with injustice as they stormed to a table, wishing he could curse Snape into a thousand slimy pieces.

"Don't know what's stopping you," James snarled, "Dumbledore shouldn't even stand for that!"

Ron at first slammed his stuff down next to Harry, but after a moment of collecting himself he moved again to sit by Dean and Seamus.

"Oh for the love of Merlin!" Lily practically shrieked. "I am going to crack his head open next! How long is that little twat going to hold this against you? If Hermione believes you and he clearly still cares enough about her to stand up for her, why wouldn't her word be good enough for him even if yours wasn't?"

Harry said nothing, no one actually had an answer for her.

Harry spent the lesson picturing all the horrific things he could do to Snape

"Least you found something pleasant to do in there," Remus snapped.

like using the Cruciatus Curse on him, leaving him a twitching mess on the ground.

That gave at least four of them a little twitch, some of their anger ebbing away to be replaced with shock at such a thing. Here was Lily's proof. Harry, and most likely the rest of his classmates, clearly weren't old enough to have learned those spells yet if they just threw them around like this. Even if Harry didn't mean it, though the ugly look on his face showed he wasn't quite repentant yet, that still wasn't just some casual toss around.

Snape kept focus on the lesson, as he instructed their antidotes were to be complete, and he couldn't wait to test them, his black eyes lingering on Harry. Harry held no doubts that Snape meant to poison him.

"He, is, not," Lily got out through grounded teeth. "I don't give a damn about the stupid magic keeping us in here, I will dig my way out and murder him if he puts a damned drop of it anywhere near you."

Harry's mind instead nursed the idea of dragging his cauldron up front and slamming it down on Snape's greasy head.

"Points for originality on that one," Sirius said grimly.

Then there was a knock at the door, and Colin Creevey came in.

"Is he stalking you in the middle of your classes now?" Remus asked rhetorically, knowing that wasn't the case, but it was fun to pick at anyways rather than dealing with things they couldn't.

He went up to Snape's desk and told that Harry was needed upstairs, the usual smile on his face slipping away as he watched Snape's expression.

"What's he getting blamed for now," James snapped of no one. Honestly though he was pleased, they all were, getting him out of that room for any reason.

Snape said Potter was to be here for the rest of his class, he could go when it was over.

Colin persisted though, saying Bagman had asked for him.

"What's Bagman want?" Harry asked in surprise.

"Not quite sure off the top of my head," Sirius frowned.

All of the champions were needed for some kind of photo shoot.

Harry went startling red and buried his face in his hands, thinking he'd now rather be poisoned by Snape than have Colin say that!

"Photographs for the champions, of course," Remus sighed.

"This is what Hermione meant earlier," Lily groaned, "they're going to plaster you across the papers like a show."

Harry would have given anything in the world for Colin not to have said that, his eyes glancing to Ron who was watching the ceiling.

"I'd love to shove him in front of a camera, if there was ever a time he actually didn't want it," Sirius snapped.

"Or shove the camera into him," Remus agreed.

Snape agreed Harry could leave so long as he came back, but Colin still said that the Champions were to take all of their stuff with them, they wouldn't be back-

"He might not be doing the best job," James groaned, "but give the kid points for being persistent."

"Not many students would have said all that to Snape, they'd have scampered back out and gotten Bagman to tell himself," Lily agreed.

Snape finally conceded for Harry to get out. Harry got one more flash of all the Potter Stinks badges as he left.

James was grinding his teeth together to stop himself from still yelling about those stupid things, wishing he could jam one of those down someone's throat with or without magic.

Colin began speaking to Harry the moment they'd left, going on about how amazing this was.

"Not the word I'd use," Remus said tightly.

Harry bitterly agreed as he asked Colin why they'd want photos? Colin guessed it had something to do with the Daily Prophet, and Harry couldn't even fake enthusiasm for more publicity.

"You can just hear the pure sincerity in that," Sirius groused.

Colin told him good luck when they seemed to reach the right spot before going off.

"Wait, why was he even the one to go get Harry?" Lily asked. "Shouldn't he have been in class?"

James only had to pause a moment as he cast his mind around before saying, "I picture it like this. Bagman was saying how someone needed to go collect Harry for this, but no one on hand knew which class he was in. Colin was on the way to his own class and over heard this, offered to go get him, and was allowed to be late for his class in order to fetch him, less of a scene if another student does it, at least I would hope," he finished with some mumbling at the end.

Harry entered to find an unused classroom, with Bagman already inside talking to a woman.

Harry felt a wave of hatred wash through him as he first remembered catching sight of this person. Though he frowned, not understanding why, and didn't say anything aloud so not attracting anyone's attention to it for now. For some reason though, he thought they wouldn't have long to wait to join him.

Krum was hovering by himself in a corner.

"You know, for some star Quidditch player, has he actually ever been seen doing anything about it?" Remus asked, pleased beyond words to have finally found something fun to think about this chapter.

"Nope," Lily agreed, though her like for the guy went up because of it.

Cedric and Fleur were standing about, Fleur obviously tossing her hair around as they spoke.

"Flirting is one way to get a good mood," Lily rolled her eyes.

A shorter man with a camera was eyeing her but hovering near the other woman.

"Can't honestly blame him," Sirius snickered.

Bagman caught sight of Harry first and pulled him in the rest of the room, explaining it was time for the wand weighing ceremony

"The what?" Harry interrupted with some nerves, clutching his wand a little tighter to him.

"Not sure," Lily said honestly. "We've only heard about the big things to do with this, but Bagman makes it sound like another sort of tradition so," she finished with a shrug, at least at ease with this part that she hadn't heard about rather than the abundance of things she had.

Harry asked what that was, and Bagman explained a professional was going to come and check to make sure their wands were fully functional.

"Ah, that makes sense I guess," Remus nodded, "though honestly people should get their wands checked every few years anyways, just to be safe."

The expert was off speaking with Dumbledore, but he and the other heads would be along shortly, then they'd have a photo opp. Then he introduced Rita Skeeter.

Yep, Harry was right, the moment that name registered they were all back to insanely agitated as they began muttering death threats at this stupid woman for having a go at Arthur like that.

She was doing a small piece on this tournament for the Prophet.

"Small indeed," Sirius sniffed without a trace of belief.

She corrected it wouldn't be that small, with her eyes on Harry.

"Least she admits it," Lily curled up her lip.

Harry described her as having elaborate curled hair and a heavy jaw with jeweled spectacles and two inch brightly colored nails matching her outfit. She asked Bagman if it would be alright if she had a quick private word with Harry?

"What's she asking him for," James snapped, "ask Harry, he's the one who should answer!"

Bagman agreed he didn't have a problem if Harry didn't.

"Asking after the fact doesn't cut it," Remus snapped.

Harry's reply was to say err,

"I didn't want to be rude," Harry grumbled, a sense telling him he wouldn't care about that long.

but Rita took that as a yes and dragged him out of the room into the nearest cupboard, referring to it as cozy.

"Really?" Sirius scowled. "She couldn't have just led you to another classroom, that's just weird."

Harry watched her with unease as she closed the door and dug out some parchment and a bright green quill, but no ink. She asked if Harry minded she use a Quick-Quotes Quill?

"What's that?" Harry asked, his unease rising with every word she said.

"Not sure," Lily's frown deepened despite her words.

Harry asked what that was, and Rita explained it was a hands free Quill. She sucked on the end for a moment and balanced it on the paper, then began a testing sentence by stating her name and job title. The quill reacted at once, scribbling across the paper

"That's pretty useful," Remus said with honest interest. "Though I do wonder how that thing works without ink."

"Wish I had one of those," Sirius agreed, "would have made my homework more bearable if I hadn't had to write it all."

"Honestly, it sounds like a Self-Writing Quill," James shrugged, "but that still requires ink. Maybe this is the next version of it."

but upon the paper it wrote out that the attractive Rita Skeeter, and her savage quill who often punctured inflated reputations- she cut it off there

Lily did a double take on reading that though, saying slowly, "well, not exactly like a Self-Writing one then."

"Maybe it's magicked to take in the details of what the speakers seeing, and thinking, as well as what's being said," Remus thought out. "It's why you'd need to suck on it, to personalize it, though I still don't understand what exactly it's writing with."

"Did you actually hear what it was saying though," Sirius was still frowning at this little thing. "Attractive? Punctured inflated reputations? I'm not liking this thing if this is how it's going to be writing about Harry."

When no one answered him, most likely in agreement judging by their suddenly wary faces, he decided to keep reading.

tearing that piece away and placing down a fresh sheet before turning to Harry and asked what made him enter the Tournament?

"This could be good for him," James groaned while he ran his hand through his hair, already completely frustrated that this wasn't going to go the way he was hoping but still trying. "Get his side of the story out there."

"We've already had previous writings of hers to show what an arse she is," Lily sniffed, "I wouldn't hold your breath dear."

Harry was distracted from answering as he read upside down about the Quill's description of his ugly scar not quite deterring from his charming face- Skeeter instructed he not watch the quill and repeated her question.

Harry returned he hadn't put his name in. Rita was unbelieving as she told him he wouldn't get in trouble for telling.

Remus made a noise like someone had trodden on Hickory, though none of them sounded a bit better as they were already sick of saying that on Harry's behalf, they couldn't imagine how frustrated he must have been by now.

Harry insisted he hadn't answered, and she instead changed to ask how he felt about the coming tasks?

"I hate her already," Sirius' scowl kept growing the more he got out. "Please tell me you get up, and leave!"

Harry just muttered something inarticulate.

Harry agreed he was a bit nervous as Rita pressed that a lot of Champions had died, had he thought about that?

"Frequently," Lily hissed.

Harry tried to say the tournament was supposed to be safer this year, his eyes still watching the progress of the Quill. Rita then reminded he'd faced death before,

"How would she know about any of that?" Harry demanded.

"I don't think she's referring to any of your times at school," James muttered, making Harry flinch and back down.

and ask if that affected him? Harry could only get out an err before she kept going, throwing questions out about why he'd been tempted to join the Tournament- but Harry cut her off in the beginnings of irritation he hadn't entered!

"Beginnings?" Remus huffed.

She instead switched to asking about his parents.

Said two parents gave an automatic flinch that they were so used to by now they barely felt the sting of it anymore. Barely.

Wondering how they would feel about this, angry, worried, proud?

"Actually, in reverse order, but not too far off," James rolled his eyes at least giving Harry a small smirk for a moment.

Harry's temper was rising now as he wanted to snap how he was supposed to know how his parents felt? Then his eyes caught a bit of what the Quill was saying, about how he was starting to tear up about his parents, and he snapped that wasn't true!

"Most likely you had that expression," Remus told the slowly growing murderous look with a straight face, "in which case I do wonder why Rita hasn't tried to run from that cupboard yet."

She hadn't a chance to respond when the door was opened by Dumbledore.

"That's, probably not the first time he's found something like that," Sirius muttered to no one's amusement. Did his mind really have to go there?!

Rita greeted him pleasantly, stuffing her things out of sight as she asked if he'd liked her piece on the International Confederation of Wizards Conference? Dumbledore happily agreed it was as enchantingly nasty as ever, he'd loved the part in particular where he'd been referred to as an obsolete dingbat.

"I think for once I don't want to argue with her," Lily muttered with a touch of poison, still too strung up about Rita having cornered her son into all of that.

Skeeter didn't look remotely abashed, saying she'd just been trying to put down how out of date some found him- but Dumbledore cut her off saying they could discuss this later, for now Harry was needed out of this cupboard.

"Actually I'd prefer to keep him there," Sirius rolled his eyes, "sans Rita of course, but he'd probably be better off than dealing with that school."

"Who knew a cupboard would ever be good for me again," Harry snickered, though he was the only one who did at that unpleasant reminder.

Harry went back into the first room to see everyone present now including Ollivander.

"Not surprised he's the expert," Remus shrugged.

He introduced himself, then called Fleur up first. He inspected her wand, had it shoot a few sparks, than told of the length, inflexible nature, type of wood, and was shocked to find a veela hair.

"Now that's an interesting choice," Lily said in surprise.

"Wonder if it ever has any weird side effects," Remus agreed.

Fleur agreed it had been her own grandmothers.

"So she is part veela," Sirius' interest grew ten fold. "Can't say I'm not intrigued to meet this one."

"She's not even half your age yet," Remus reminded, "move along."

Sirius stuck his tongue out at him.

Harry mentally filed that away to tell Ron

"Oh yeah, I can't because he's being an arse," Harry grumbled to himself.

then he remembered Ron wasn't speaking to him.

Ollivander declared her wand sound, and sent her back before calling up Cedric, giving him the same once over and retelling the story of how the unicorn in this particular wand had been over seventeen hands, and nearly gored him when he'd plucked the tail.

"What a lovely steed," James snickered.

Then he noticed the high polished wood, and Cedric agreed he'd done so just last night.

Harry looked surprised at the very idea, it had never occurred to him, but then he looked around and saw the others rolling their eyes at such a practice. Cedric seemed even more vain than Krum lately.

Harry noticed his own wand was covered in his fingers smudges. He tried to gather some of the material from his pants and rub at them,

"Oh don't freak out about that pup," Sirius rolled his eyes. "I've only heard of people doing that who are in show business type things where their wand is regularly scrutinized. Most people don't bother with it."

"Cedric probably only did because he may have had foreknowledge of this happening," Lily agreed.

"Actually, he said he did it regularly," Remus corrected.

"Well then cheers to him," James rolled his eyes, "but it's still worthless."

but then his wand shot sparks in protest, and Fleur gave him a condescending look, so he desisted.

Though that at least gave them all a giggle.

Ollivander soon declared that wand done as well, before calling Krum forward. He shuffled up, scowled as he passed over his wand, and shoved his hands deep in his pockets as it was examined.

"He's just so pleasant the more I hear," Lily rolled her eyes.

Ollivander seemed intrigued by the Gregorovitch design.

Harry jerked like someone had just electrocuted him, though no one had any idea of why. When Harry looked at them for some kind of explanation though, Sirius answered, "he's another wand maker like Ollivander, but lives pretty far off. Most likely in the vicinity of the Durmstrang students, I've only ever heard of him by name."

"He's got some odd rumors spread around him," Remus shrugged, "but we've no idea about him really."

"Odd rumors like what?" Harry pressed eagerly, wondering if this was where his odd feeling was coming from.

"Oh just some tosh about how he based his designs off the Elder Wand," Lily tried to wave it all off, "same bout of nonsense as Ollivander supposedly using Merlin-"

"What's the Elder Wand?!" Harry half shouted as a gong was going off in his head telling him to persist this!

The others looked honestly concerned now as James placed a restraining hand on Harry's shoulder, gently instructing, "just an old kid's myth, relax Harry. We'll show it to you later if you'd really like."

Harry deflated like a punctured balloon, whatever trail his mind had been trying to lead him down instantly diverted by being distracted by his dad. He nodded with genuine disappointment, but didn't push the matter for now, though honestly the others wanted him to slightly, what on earth could Harry get up to that would lead him questioning all of this?

He gave it the same run through as the others, and declared it more than passable. Finally it was Harry's turn.

"Wish you hadn't gone last," Sirius told him while trying to catch his eye, as Harry was still rubbing furiously at his temple for whatever had been bothering him before, "I feel like that just puts more attention on you."

Harry didn't acknowledge him.

Harry got uneasily to his feet as he handed over his wand, remembering the first time he'd gotten it like it was yesterday.

That distracted Harry, as he came back to this story with another shudder, though at least they all understood this one. Even they weren't entirely sure what to make of that scrap of information, having no idea where to begin to understand what it meant to their boy.

How Ollivander had gone through many wands before handing Harry the one he had now, and after a bit of whittling on Harry's part, Ollivander had finally explained how it's core shared a relation to Voldemort's. Harry had never mentioned this to anyone.

"Can't honestly blame you," James shivered, it still gave him a chill to think about it.

He didn't want people to know, as he didn't care what his wand was related to, feeling it as unfortunate as Petunia being his mother's sister.

"Can't deny I love that resemblance," Lily rolled her eyes.

Harry did hope Ollivander wouldn't share that story now.

"Well he shouldn't," Remus scowled at once at the idea. "That goofy story about Cedric's wand was harmless, but that's personal information about Harry."

"Never seems to stop anyone else," Harry reminded bitterly.

He was sure the Quick-Quotes Quill might explode.

"Least that could be interesting," Sirius huffed.

Ollivander didn't though, putting Harry's wand through like the rest and declaring himself done. Dumbledore said they were all free to go back to class, though it may just be faster to go to dinner-

"Yeah, I vote for that one," James grumbled, still smarting over that stupid potions class on top of everything else going on.

but then the man with the camera reminded for the pictures. Rita agreed, plus they needed some of everyone individually.

"Can I not!" Harry protested, wanting to take his shirt and cover his whole head up just to stop this from happening.

"If only love," Lily agreed grimly.

The process took ages as everyone tried to find a good position. Madam Maxime threw everyone into shadows, so eventually they had her sitting down and everyone standing around her. Krum kept skulking to the back

"Where I'm sure Harry was trying to join him," James scowled.

while the photographer tried to keep Fleur in the center

"Can't blame him for that one though," Sirius grinned.

and Rita kept jumping forward to put Harry there instead. Finally everyone was satisfied and free to go.

Harry was pure scarlet in the face by the end of all that, wishing he could just live off of polyjuice potion and be anyone else beside himself...wait-

The others hadn't even been laughing at his expense, they'd been too busy feeling sorry for the poor boy for all of this, which is why Sirius hadn't hesitated to see a dawning look on Harry's face be wiped away when he continued.

Harry went down to dinner, but Hermione never showed up, so Harry thought she was probably still getting her teeth shrunk. He went back to his dormitory and ran across Ron.

"Pleasant," Sirius growled, thinking he'd rather take another shot at Rita than this twit!

He simply stated that he had an owl waiting upstairs and when their detentions were, before walking out of sight. Harry considered going after him, unsure whether to talk to him or hit him

"The second," four of them muttered under their breath.

both seemed quite appealing -

"I'll take that," Remus agreed.

but decided Sirius' response was more important so went to read that. Sirius began by saying he didn't want to write everything down in case this was read by anyone else,

"Are you going to make that face at me every time I say that," Sirius demanded without looking up.

"We're just so proud of you showing off your head," Lily told him pleasantly, "we don't get to see it too much."

Sirius lifted one hand, and one finger in particular, away from the book in her direction before continuing.

and instead said he wanted a face-to-face on midnight of the 22nd of November in the Gryffindor common room, asking if Harry could make sure he was alone then?

"And just how do you plan on doing that?" James asked in surprise.

"Wouldn't be impossible for him to sneak in there again as Padfoot," Remus pointed out, though his face too looked more concerned than eager for the idea. "Though why the common room, if you were going to sneak back in, you could have chosen any more vacant place in the castle."

"Would you all relax," Sirius groaned, still trying not to look up at them all. "I got away with this for over a year, would you bleeding give me some credit."

"All on your own," Harry reminded, vestiges of fear still lingering as he tried to get through to Sirius what a terrible idea this was. "The more people who you try to make contact with though, the more likely-"

"You're not going to do anything to get me caught," Sirius cut him off, finally looking up to glare at his pup. "Now relax, the lot of you, this has been depressing enough without you all harping on me."

They all gave in, for now.

Going on to say that this whole thing made him uneasy, someone having tried to hurt Harry right under Dumbledore and Moody's nose.

"Not going to argue with any of that though," James sighed.

"The fact that there's something wrong with both of their noses though doesn't feel encouraging right now," Remus agreed.

He instructed for Harry to be on the watch and still pass along anything usual he saw, and told to give him an answer about that date as soon as possible.

"Chapter's done," Sirius sighed as he passed the book to Harry.

#Harry Potter #fanfiction #Reading the books #GoF #Marauders #James Potter #Remus Lupin #Lily Potter #siruis black

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