#and I have therapy tomorrow too

[there-will-be-a-way]

Every Saturday and Sunday I go to the clinic to do an alcohol test - because being controlled is the only thing that keeps me sober (this plan was my idea, yes, I got praised for this by the staff 🙌🏻). So today when I went there, I asked to have a talk and confessed that I relapsed. I'm proud that I was honest. Even prouder that I stopped the relapse. I didn't continue drinking today - I genuinely didn't want to which is new.

The nurse thanked me for my honesty and offered that next time I can come over before I relapse and stay the night. Not sure if I'll manage to do that but I can try and it's good to have this option.

[irenespring]

Really I think nothing shouts "my first Presidential election as a politically active person was 2016" more than the fact that when I feel hope and excitement for the future (possible President Harris) for more than five minutes I immediately get a crushing, all-consuming anxiety of "feeling this positive emotion now is going to make it so much worse when the worst thing possible happens" to the extent that I'll probably need my break-glass-in-case-of-emergency anxiety medication.

[gorelesbian]

new jobs be like do not worry queen we will train you thoroughly until you're confident and calm at the job. btw you're working alone tomorrow and there is no one available for you to call if you need help and i also refuse to check whether you even have access to the system. good luck :3

[figofswords]

the post grad why did i get an art degree what am i even doing what do i want in life where am i going crisis has finally hit i want to. lie down in the dirt. or something

[cerise-on-top]

Hiiii love bug can you do the fluff alphabet for farah

If your still doing that🫶🏻🫶🏻

I don't think the two of you understand how grateful I am that I got the same request twice! Writing these takes an eternity! However, these are not proofread, I am too tired to do that, so please excuse any mistakes!

And don't worry about the frequent requests, I'm used to the same people requesting from me several times in a row!

Fluff Alphabet for Farah

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Farah is an active kind of person, so she would love nothing more than to go out on a hike with you. Or maybe explore the surrounding area a bit. She doesn’t need to discover something every time, but spending that time with you is nice. However, if the weather is anything but nice, then she’ll simply spend the time cuddling with you in bed. Or maybe do a puzzle with you as well. She loves the ones with animal motives.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

Farah can be a heated woman. She had to be in order to gain everyone’s respect. However, you still have the patience to calmly talk to her. You have the patience to talk her down when she’s about to smack someone again. Don’t get me wrong, she has a lot of self restraint, but it’s still nice to have someone be your voice of reason from time to time. She admires the fact that you’re usually a rather calm sort of person.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

Farah is pretty good at talking. She’ll usually distract you from everything, be it by telling you about the beetle she saw or by giving you the most comforting hug you’ve ever received in your life. If you’re experiencing a panic attack, then she’ll play some games with you to get you to calm down. I’ve mentioned it before, but she knows a few breathing exercises as well, or maybe she helps you using the 54321 method. Either way, she won’t be leaving your side until she’s certain nothing bad is going to happen anymore.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

She likes to think that her cause will help her build something semi-utopic. She knows fully well that Urzikstan will never become a full utopia, but she wants it to be a nice, peaceful place since it is achievable. She loves her country, so she’d love nothing more than to live there with you. Maybe adopt some animals, have some farmland, tend to your plants and live off them. She wants to be self-sufficient to some degree. She also wants it to be disgustingly domestic, like taking your wrist as she runs ahead to show you something. 

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

Dominant, definitely. Farah usually says what she thinks and isn’t afraid to take charge either. You’re more than welcome to add your input, she actually likes it when you do so, but she usually gets her way. Her ideas are usually good as well, so they’re worth entertaining. However, it’s clear she wears the pants in the relationship. If you’re too scared to talk to the waiter regarding your order, she’s your woman. She can do just about anything with confidence,

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

It depends on the topic. Usually, Farah doesn’t forgive or forget that easily. Even when it’s you, she won’t forget the way you spew your poison of passive-aggressiveness at her. However, if it’s you, then she’s more easy to forgive. She does value what you have. While fighting she is also very passive-aggressive. Won’t yell at you, but she will make her point clear. Doesn’t budge easily either. Fighting with her is rough since she’s usually in the right, she knows what she’s talking about. If it’s something small she won’t always admit she was in the wrong either. 

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

Generally speaking, she’s on the more grateful side. War could take her away from you any moment, so she has to be grateful. She’s grateful for everything you do for her, from cleaning the dishes to folding the laundry to giving her a kiss before every operation. It won’t last for eternity, so she needs to make every moment count, ergo she’s very grateful for all the time she gets to spend with you.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

She doesn’t tell you about every operation she goes on. Doesn’t tell you about all the people she’s killed. However, she’s a rather open person in general. If you’re close enough, if she trusts you enough, then she’ll share her tragic past with you and open up to you. Sometimes she will seek out comfort from you as well. So yeah, there won’t be too many secrets in your relationship on her behalf. At least none that are relevant.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

She’d likely always try to overwork herself, becoming a better version of herself. She blames herself for the people who have died for her cause, even if not all of those deaths were her fault. You’d likely get her to relax for a little bit, calm down as well. Although she will still mourn every brother and sister she’d have lost, she won’t grieve too much about it anymore. She has a big goal to work towards, a better future for her people, her and you. Together.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Kind of. If you’re getting too close to someone for her liking, then yes, she absolutely gets jealous. Especially if she doesn’t know that person well. She won’t kiss you in front of that person to get them to back off, but she will gently grab your hand and hold it in front of that person so that they get the right idea. But she doesn’t really act too much on it otherwise. She’s an adult, she know better than to second guess your relationship. She’s not that insecure.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

I don’t think Farah has had anyone before you, never having had time for a relationship before. However, I don’t think she’d be a bad kisser. A bit clumsy, maybe, bumping noses together, but she wouldn’t be bad. She’d be average. However, she’s a quick learner, so she’ll get there fairly quickly. Your first kiss would be clumsy. She’d miss your mouth a bit and kiss your cheek instead. And when she’d go for it again, she’d bump her nose against yours. It got both of you to giggle.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

Nothing too fancy, she doesn’t have time for that. She’d invite you for a walk, get to a nice spot and then confess to you there. Although her language may get a bit flowery, she gets straight to the point. Do you want to be together with her? Yes or no? She doesn’t really have the time for heartbreak, or too many feelings, so she just wanted to get it out as soon as possible.

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

I don’t think she particularly wants to get married. Sure, she wants to live together with you and have a good old time, but she doesn’t need to be bound to you by some silly vow. Isn’t her daily adoration, the way she almost worships you, enough for you? She’s committed anyway, she loves you above all else, but she doesn’t see the need to put a ring to it.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Habibi/habibti, rohi or ya amar in Arabic, and my love, my moon or my heart in English. She loves having sappy and romantic nicknames for you in her native tongue and in English. However, she does like to add “my” in front of those words to show everyone that you’re hers and hers only. Besides, calling you hers makes her heart flutter. She sometimes gets creative in Arabic and calls you all kinds of sweet and mushy, over the top nicknames.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

It’s only kind of obvious, and only to those close to her. She gets more chatty with you, she gets ever so slightly more touchy with you as well. While she may not always be able to make time for you, she will go out of her way to grab some coffee with you and talk over anything and everything first. She doesn’t really express her feelings that much, only the necessary amount for them to not bother her too much. Brings you gifts sometimes, holds your hand when she can, compliments you as well. That sort of thing. Will also think about you a whole lot more.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

She doesn’t really brag about your relationship, but she doesn’t hide it from the world either. If someone asks about you then she’ll tell them about you, but she won’t go out of her way to introduce you as her partner every time. She’s not shy about PDA, but she doesn’t really go out of her way to show it either. If you wanna kiss her, then that’s fine, you don’t have to hold back, but she won’t really go beyond hand holding of her own accord. Again, do as you please, but keep it within reason.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

She knows how to speak her mind. You won’t ever see her lying about something, she’s just honest like that. There’s really no reason to walk on eggshells around you all the time. She’s good at communicating her every want and need, so you’ll know what to do. She’s also more than happy to negotiate with you about something. Communication is key, and she can do just that. She’s like that with everyone else too, so why shouldn’t she be like that with you as well? You’ll always know what she thinks, either through your intuition or through her telling you.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

She can be rather romantic in theory. In practice she really doesn’t have the time for much else aside from the occasional walk. She wants to eat at a fancy restaurant with you, watch some awful but funny rom coms, dance in the rain, win some plushies for you at a fair. She really does want to do all those things with you, but she can’t since she doesn’t have the time or the means to. So, for the time being, it will be cooking together, cuddling on the bed and eating snacks. But other than that, she will do whatever is in her power to make you happy. She would go as far as tell the most embarrassing jokes in the hearing range of anyone just to see you smile.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

Yes. She will support you however she can. Truth be told, she won’t be able to do too much since she doesn’t have a lot of money she can spend freely, and she doesn’t have a lot of time either, but she will always ask you about what progress you’ve made thus far. If you need a shoulder to cry on, she’s there for you. If you just want someone to give you an inspiring speech, she can do that too. Just give her the word and she’ll do whatever’s in her power.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

She likes having a routing for the basic things, but she does like something new every once in a while as well. As mentioned already, she likes going on walks and hikes with you. Sometimes she’ll take a different route just so she can see some new scenery with you. It doesn’t have to be anything big, sometimes just trying the new vendor’s food is enough for her as well. However, she needs something new every once in a while, otherwise she’ll grow bored of life. She does want you to be part of it as well, though.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

I like to think she would know you pretty well by the time you’re together. She notices the subtle things in and about you as well, and will mention them too if they’re positives. She can be a pretty empathetic person as well, but not too much. Although she’d love to share the pain of her brothers and sisters, she can’t always do so. But that doesn’t mean she’s not immune to the cries of the suffering. If you’re happy, she’s happy. But if you’re sad then she’ll also feel a twinge of sadness. However, her emotions won’t nearly be as intense as yours.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

Your relationship is very important to her. About as important as her closest friends and her cause. She would go to great lengths to keep you safe. But I don’t think she would stop her cause entirely for that sake. Uzbekistan is important to her. However, I don’t think you would ever get in a situation where she had to choose between her people and you. She does keep you safe at all times. You likely won’t have to worry about the harder choices with her.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

She probably has a plushie that she gave to you. It was important to her, but she wanted you to have it. She loves it, if she could she’d still be actively cuddling it. It was a gift from a young girl who wanted to support her cause. It’s among Farah’s most cherished items. However, she does believe that the plushie is in better hands with you. Will sometimes take it from you and just hold it for a few moments before returning it to you, though.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

Behind closed doors? Absolutely. If it was up to her, you’d be cuddling the entire stinking day away. She won’t go overboard if that’s what you want, but she loves to give you kisses to your forehead. Another thing she really loves is to hold your hand while you’re sleeping next to her. She’ll squeeze it gently too to show you that she’s there for you. She really wants you to dream a little dream of her being madly in love with you and taking good care of you as well.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

By remembering all the good times you’ve had together. She’ll also text you quite often, sending you funny pictures of her with this cool bug and lizard she found on a rock. Might call you on the calmer evenings as well to ask you how you’re doing. Your voice really calms her down, it’s the most soothing sound on the planet for her. She’ll also go through the photo gallery and the selfies she made with you, or all the pictures she has of you in general.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

Pretty much, yeah. However, she’ll always play it safe whenever you’re involved somehow. She’ll keep guards posted if it means you won’t get kidnapped. While she won’t be able to afford an even greater war with even more nations involved, she will absolutely kill for you. She can’t afford to die, so she’ll live for you instead. Her line of work is rough, but she’ll do what she can to keep you happy. Even when she’s been shot, she’ll limp back to you just so you could see her alive.

[fbfh]

good news wildcats, I'm finally watching hsmtmts s4. I just finished episode 1 and I am SCREAMING.

toxic ricky is back!!!!!!!!!!! unhinged unstable season 1 ricky my darling!!!! my beloved!!!!!!!!! my pathetic soggy prayers have been answered!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[bogkeep]

first week back at school and ahhhhhh everything is a little overwhelming currently

- my living space is full of boxes i have simply not had the energy to unpack at all.... hopefully this weekend (but i have also been invited to a Social Event so WE SHALL SEE)

- this school year is going to have So Much Important Stuff happening inbetween the many weeks of practice placement

- such as The Academic Text

- AND i need to finish the big project i was supposed to have finished ages ago

- our teacher this year speaks swedish with a very thick french accent and i speak norwegian with a dialect, we really struggle to understand one another but maybe hopefully that will change over time.... please...........

- i'm stressed about Stupid Bureaucracy Stuff

- and im so so sleepytired :(((

- and it's too humid and warm for comfort :(((((

AT LEAST I HAVE CUTE SOCKS

purchased in a distraught jetlag haze and subsidized by my travel insurance. they're my favourites now

[aforeffortenjolras]

unexpected day off + home alone. spent the morning watching youtube and playing stardew valley. just worked out and now shower + tea + reading on the porch. what are you guys up to?

[lesbiangiratina]

Was waiting for some things to arrive at proxy warehouse… so i bought a manga… then the other stuff came a few hours later… i have to wait even longer now… so i got a justice gachapon figure… terrible cycle…

[shima-draws]

I just gotta make it til tomorrow. I just gotta,, make it til. Til tomorrow. Tomorrow…

[seariii]

Hum...

[squiddokiddo]

Posting some Gords because I've had a bad day and need some sunshine. (´;︵;`)

[e77y]

Glad I’m starting therapy so soon after moving out ☝️ I am already feeling the helplessness and loneliness

[johndonneswife]

[crybaby-bkg]

I know isolating yourself can be very unhealthy but wow does it call my name more often than not

[anticurses]

.