#and I have to hope that I'll be on top of things

[hyuny-bunny]

cybersex | ot8 series

prologue. chapter I

MDNI (18+): this series will depict sex work and acts of sex. this prologue has suggestive themes, nudity, and mentions of butt plugs

skz x fem!reader

a/n: I'll have chapter 1 up soon but I hope you all love this series as much as I do!

synopsis: after a month or so of becoming a camgirl! your career really takes off, you decide to get a place of your own to film content. a lovely building opens up with the perfect space for all your necessities but to your surprise, your favorite waiter boys and long time crush on the head chief of the restaurant you work also happen to live in the building. Bringing you to meet their own assortment of friends. what happens when they find out there's some holes in the stories you tell about your life style?

prologue

You always had a keen interest in the sex work. You had an nsfw twitter page for yourself but it was only really used as a means of saving material or on a bold occasion, posting some captions with said material. There was a thrill of seeing your notifications filled with compliments and praises of like-minded people who were just as horny as you. Your roommate Sana had gotten into doing camgirl work pretty early on. You had indulged your curiosity on occasion when she and her girlfriend would be streaming just down the hall from you. Popping onto the stream to see your roommate's body on display and her girlfriend sat cutely between her legs wearing nothing but a heart-shaped butt plug. Sana would encourage you to try it out at least, very aware of how much you had desired to try it out but always holding back. Financially speaking, you could only benefit from it. In comparison to what you two made in a week at your measly waitress jobs, she could make both your checks for two weeks in just one night and even double dependent on how long she streamed for.

“You’re not worried that someone will recognize you?” You asked standing in the newly furnished cam room, floor to ceiling decorated in all shades of pink imaginable. 

“Not anymore, I revealed my face on stream so long ago, I haven’t given it much thought since. Besides, I could walk away at any moment I decide. I will admit there was a certain thrill with covering up in the beginning. I think there's something about hiding your identity while being in such a lewd state that elicits such an adrenaline rush. It makes the excitement of being watched and gawked at all the more fun.” Sana is now leaning on the desk where her camera and lighting equipment reside. 

“I like the fun, bring me as much joy and excitement as it probably does for my followers,” There’s a slight flush that rises to the tops of her cheeks that you can still make out in the fluorescent lights, “The biggest thing for me is it gives me the confidence I need, the financial security is just a bonus.”

The windows were covered by drawn curtains that covered the entirety of the walls, allowing the room to only be lit by the neon color-changing lamps which to no surprise were set at a baby pink. The floors were covered by a fluffy throw rug, with very little wood peaking. There is a makeshift sofa bed that's covered by an assortment of pillows and silk sheets and another fluffy blanket. There sat on the floor is the giant white teddy bear, Mina, Sana’s longtime partner, gifted her just a month ago. You stayed quiet, absorbing your surroundings. You were amazed but also… jealous. Jealous of how she could find confidence and find security in what most people found so vulnerable. You let out a sigh, sitting on the almost too-silky sheets that caused you to slide right off the bed. 

“Careful. You can imagine how slippery they are in the nude,” She laughed softly as she stared at you, waiting to speak again. “I see the gears turning… What’s on your mind kit-kat?” Your eyes bolt up to her.

“I’m just... A bit taken aback I guess. You could say jealous maybe. This is the frist time I’ve ever considered it as a viable option…” You let the sentence trail off not knowing what to say.

All your life, you had complexes about your body. Measured your self-worth in the way your body looked, and how it compared to other girls you had admired. The older you got, the better you were about mentally checking yourself, to realize it was okay not to be shaped like other girls. Finding it in yourself to feel secure in the body you had. Although you could keep those insecurities at bay most of the time, they would crawl out from under the bed like a hideous monster to plague your thoughts when you felt down about the lackluster love life. Bad dates, unreciprocated feelings, and talking stages that never went anywhere, that was the extent of your love life. 

“You want to give it a try?” That question pulled you out of your thoughts, now you were the one with a bright flush across the tops of your cheeks. “I can help you get started, set up your account, and start promoting you on my own account to start you off with a bit of a following. That’s if… you really are serious about this.” Sana had always been so sweet to you, she had already been letting you take the spare of her 3-bedroom rental as you couldn’t afford to live on your own. She had always extended a helping hand when you needed but here was a chance to finally get you to land on your own feet for once. How could you refuse such an opportunity?

“I don’t know… I don’t think I’m cut out for something like this I mean look at you! I don’t know how anyone is supposed to get off looking at-”

“Finish that sentence and you’re never allowed to see Jiji again,” Sana interrupted, Jiji was your shared house cat who was slowly becoming more yours as time went on. “ I don't want to pressure you into anything but I just think you could actually see the benefit in this. Give it one try and if you don’t like it, I erase every trace of you.”

You sat with the thought, your brain tugging you to go for it. One chance and if it doesn’t work out no harm right? 

“When can we start?”

masterlist • next chapter ->

[certifiedlibraryposts]

hi! i was wondering if you have any recommendations for getting into nonfiction books if you're too advanced for children's nonfiction, but find that most adult nonfiction seems to be geared towards people who already know a lot. i used to find so many new, random facts when i was a kid, but now all i read is fiction. also, there's so many topics, it's overwhelming! any advice would be great :)

Oooh, I'm usually more of a fiction gal myself but I've started dipping my toes into nonfiction a little bit. Here's a few thoughts I had:

Find topics you think are fun or are important to you. There are plenty of nonfiction books that are easy to digest, and it might help if you chose a topic you're already a bit familiar with. Off the top of my head I know I've seen multiple books about the making of Star Wars movies at a library recently, or there's books about things like food or video games!

Look for memoirs/biographies of people you're interested in!

Browse nonfiction audiobook selections in Libby or Hoopla! Audiobooks count as reading I'll get in a fight over this. I've found audiobooks are my favorite way to experience nonfiction, if you enjoy podcasts then it's a similar experience! (Fuck Amazon Audible)

Ask others for recommendations, like friends or librarians! (Or maybe some folks in the replies have some good recs too hoohoo).

And honestly, I don't belive there's any shame in reading below your level. Maybe having a peek at books written with a younger audience in mind can spark some inspiration on what kind of topics you'd like to find more advanced books on?

If anyone else has any tips feel free to share ^^ I hope you enjoy getting back into nonfiction!

[byslantedlight]

Hello OFMD Tumblr thingie, and all the amazing people who are out there, and especially the ones who've been making all the posts that have made me so happy over the last few months. 💖💖💖 First and most importantly, thank you, thank you, thank you, to anyone who sees this!

This is my first post to Tumblr (probably pretty obvious from my huge lack of Tumblr sophistication! And the length of this post...) If you don't count reblogging things that I wanted to be able to find again. I've braved up to comment thank you to people a couple of times, but that's been it so far. I must admit it all looks a bit scary from this side of the glass, even though I can also see how friendly people mostly are.

But OFMD fandom is big! And you've been here a long time! I loved Series 1 when I watched it, and knew I wanted to watch out for Series 2, but it wasn't until I re-watched it when the Series 2 trailer came out on BBC iPlayer that I fell veeeery in love with it! And by then you were already here, and there was a language and debates about things I'd barely even noticed, and it's mostly me staring with big eyes thinking wow, and sometimes huh? and... well, you know. Plus there's trying to work out Tumblr, which I definitely haven't actually managed to do yet, and possibly never will, so... I decided to just jump in and post summat. Even just rambling, which is a bit of a specialty of mine... I mean - what's the worst that can happen, right? 😬

So... how come now? Well, I can't make art or gorgeous screenshots or gifs. I do write, but I'm still hanging out to get the right voices in my keyboard... I know them when I hear them, but you've gotta get the right rhythm going, and I'm not quite there yet, I don't think. Although really, I should probably just sit down and try (and stop waiting for work to shut up and give me time - I should be a pirate and take it!)

Anyway (told you about the rambling...) what I'm mostly doing apart from rewatching the eps on a constant loop is reading the fic. I'm picking it according to kudos on AO3, and according to recs that I see on Tumblr, and it's occured to me that alot of the stories I'm loving must have been recced looong ago, and that newbies like me totally missed them, and so maybe I could do my own recs, even if they are of older stories, and someone might find them useful. You know, if I work out how anyone else might ever see my posts. 😁 And if people aren't put off by my probably age-revealing use of emojis. (But I am entirely age-appropriate for Ed and Stede, and if I had to look up what zaddy meant too, well, that just means I matched Rhys Darby's expression in the bts, right? 🤨)

So it's not much, but I'd like to contribute even just a tiny bit to OFMD fandom in return for everything it gives me, so... yeah. That's my plan. I'll start in a bit, but this post is probably already too long since it's just rambling. And kind of dull. I should probably have said tl:dr at the top, shouldn't I, but then maybe anyone who actually saw this wouldn't, so... See, I kind of live in hope. 😊

Okay. Tags next, right? ... ack ... why won't it let me create new tags instead of just using ones from the drop down...? Well, those will have to do for now... maybe someone who sees this will have mercy and tell me how? I'll just be over here being a slight failure at Tumblr... And if you've made it this far (how long is an acceptable post over here?! Not this long, I don't think...) - thank you hugely for just that, and may your dreams be OFMD and joyous!

[eeunoia]

ENHYPEN Mini Series

ENHYPEN as Taylor Swifts Song

THE WAY I LOVED YOU

synopsis: they said in our life, there will be that one love that is so intense and passionate. the type of love that has good and bad days on it, but still feel home for you. the type of love that makes you crazy. so many emotions but for only one person. that’s park sunghoon for you.

pairings: park sunghoon x reader

word count: 12k.

warnings: toxic relationship, angst, sunghoon being a redflag. (let me know if i missed some)

note: i got totally carried away with this one and honestly i’m totally satisfied on how i wrote this. i’m currently on my psh phase so i’m totally crazy for him lol anyway, i hope you enjoy this fic and please please please leave your thoughts on replies or send me some ask. it helps so much to keep me writing more. ily & stay safe!

eeunoia 2024 © all rights reserved.

“Where are you going?” you asked while pulling the sheet up to your chest, watching your boyfriend scurrying to gather his things as he put his clothes on.

He threw you a short glance, hair still disheveled from the heated session you two just shared and went back on to what he was doing.

“Band practice.” he shortly replied.

You gulped, spacing out after his response. Its not that this is the first time he did this. Having sex with you and leave once his bandmates calls him out for practice. You always think that it was his priority over his relationship with you.

His steps are quick when he approach and kissed the top of your head like as if it will do any better.

“I'll see you later, okay?” and then turned his back to go on his way without sending you another look.

After hearing the sound of the door closing and locks clicking, you laid back on your shared bed and stared right at the ceiling. Mind occupied by a lot of thoughts and slowly feeling the energy finally draining out of you.

You have been dating Park Sunghoon for exactly three years now. He's the hot drummer of the band called PARADOX. Handsome, talented and very passionate man. He sure love what he does the most, music.

People who knows the two of you may say that your relationship with him is pretty sturdy. Despite the scruffles and misunderstanding along the side, the memories and bond you built together was not easy to break.

They'll also probably mention how the two of you are an odd combination. You, being someone who finished college to have a righteous degree and works as a fine finance manager in a big company and Sunghoon, being the drummer of a said band.

Its not that being in a band and making music is a bad occupation, its just compared to yours, his is just more unstable. Yes, he is good. His band is really good and somehow makes it to places to share their music, but at some point it just doesn't fit.

Sometimes, they still wonder how the two of you works it out. How you can handle the mess and the outgoing side of Park Sunghoon, notwithstanding the fact of being someone who loves peace and have a priggish personality.

“Are you still playing in that band?” this are the common question your Father loves to throw during dinners whenever you take Sunghoon home with you.

You've always know how things ends up so you are expeditious on getting in between.

“Dad.” you looked at him with a pleading eyes, hoping he'll cooperate tonight and let you guys have a peaceful dinner just for once.

Sunghoon tensed beside you as his hold over his utensils tighten, as well as his jaw. It was already hard to swallow food now that he's inside your home having dinner with your parents and now your Dad is again belittling him.

“Yes, sir.” he answered.

The usual disappointing and downgrading look on his face makes Sunghoon feels awful. During this time is when he'll surely never get used to. It makes him realize that no matter how good he do, no matter how great his band became, he will never be someone so worthy in the eyes of your Father.

“And for how long will you plan to do this nonsense?” he was not holding back at all. His wife, your Mom, beside him gently reaches for his arm, trying to stop him from saying more.

Sunghoon clenched his jaw, “Making music is not nonsense. We are doing well right now, sir.”

The way he says those words just makes your Father even more pissed at him. He always hates how he was so confident and prideful. The way he stands whenever he greets him after arriving at your home is giving off as someone imperious.

He scoffed humorless, “And for how long? I've already told you that there's no future in that dream of yours.”

“Dad!” your voice raised because you couldn't handle what he's saying right now.

Sunghoon stands abruptly, making a dragging sound from the chair he was occupying. He balled his fist and just stormed outside of your house. You stood and stared at your Dad with a look of dispair in your eyes. He didn't back down and just gave you this knowing look.

“I asked you to stop doing that.”

“And I already told you to leave that boy countless times, y/n. Stop wasting your time with him!” he strictly said.

“Never.” and with that you turned your feet to start coming after your boyfriend.

You saw him a few blocks away walking towards where he parked his motorcycle. With quick steps, you try to catch up on him.

“Sunghoon!” you screamed, but he didn't even looked back on you.

With gritted teeth, you hurried your steps even more and right on time that he ride his motorcycle, you grabbed him by his arm.

“Why are you not stopping!” you yelled, tears brimming your eyes.

He glanced at you and that's when you saw his bloodshot eyes. Your boyfriend never cries. His playful demeanor never showed his weak side, even with you. Maybe your father was right. He is someone full of pride and sometimes arrogant, but you love him. And he loves you.

“I told you already that I don't want to come! But you forced me anyway!” he yelled, making you flinch a little.

It was really your fault because you are so persistent on making the things between your Dad and him to work despite knowing the outcome of this visit to your parent's house.

“He will never see me worthy of you. You are always so hard to reach for me...” his tone low that made your heart crack. You've never seen him like this before.

His eyes darken as he teared his gaze away, shoving your hold off from his arm. You started to panic and watch how he grabs the handle of his vehicle then started the engine.

“W-What are you doing? Are you leaving m-me?” you asked in a broken tone that made him falter a bit, but the pain from the scene of how your father belittled him was stronger.

Rain starts pouring, but you stood your ground. Didn't even bothered that you are starting to get soaked by the now pouring rain.

“P-Please, don't do this.” you begged and Sunghoon stared at you and maybe it was the rain? Or the cold breeze surrounding you two, but he seems so cold and distant. It breaks you slowly.

“I l-love you so much.” you gulped getting rid of the lump on your throat. “P-Please.”

But he starts droving off. Your heart sank and quickly tries to run after him. Its stupid because there's no way to catch up just by running, but your mind was too clouded to even think straight.

The rain poured even harder and your knees felt weak from running too much. You stopped and cries even harder, heart feeling so broken. You don't feel bothered by the cold at all and all you can think of is how your chest is hurting so bad. You felt slightly suffocated from crying so hard, giving you a hard time to breath.

A roaring sound of an engine makes you lift your head and a string of hope ignites when you saw lights emitting from a vehicle that is driving near you.

Your lips shakes when you saw the familiar motorcycle stopping beside you, Sunghoon's all drenched like you when he turned his head at your side.

“Your father,” he starts and you shake your head sideways trying to stop him, but he continued. “he may hate me to his bones. He may resent me and never want me for you.” one of his hand lets go from the handle and reach over your hand.

“But I love you.” he said firmly that made you tear up even more. “I love you so fucking much that it hurts.” he pursed his lips hardly, jaw clenching hard as he tries to hide his emotions.

You cried and lets go from his hand to cup his face. Both feeling so cold from the nonstop rain but the warmth you two are giving each were enough for you. You leaned in connecting your lips before pulling away to stare at his eyes.

“I don't care about what he thinks. I only want you and no one else.”

He smirks then starts handing you a helmet.

“Then hop on, pretty. We're going to get sick if we stay here longer.”

And without a hint of hesitation, you wore the helmet and hopped on his motorbike. Sunghoon pulls your arm so you can hug him from behind.

“Hold on tight and don't let go.”

“Never.”

“Sunghoon, I told you already I'm still at the office. I can't be out until before 9pm.” your elbow rests over your desk as you try and massage your temple to ease your aching head.

“But our gig will start at eight pm, y/n. You said you'll watch.” he sounded so upset.

Normally, you will hurry yourself to go attend his gig but today was a rough day for you as well. Too many office works are lined up for you, workload piled up that you don't even know where to start. You know how much it means for Sunghoon having you to be there for him. But today's just so draining. And sometimes you kind of feel like you were always there for him but when will he be there for you?

“Sunghoon,” you draw in a heavy breath, calming yourself down to prevent saying anything that can spoil his mood. That’s the last thing you want to do if he have a gig.

“It’s just unexpctedly a very busy day. I need to finish all these works on time—” he cuts you even before you can finish your sentence.

“Just say it if you want to spend time with that co-worker and stop making lame excuses, y/n.” the sarcasm that lurks over his tone caught you dumbfounded.

Your mouth hanged open, unable to even utter your response to this nonsense he’s trying to imply. He’s very unbelievable. You are very tired already, the workload’s too heavy and here he is doubting you. He still have the audacity of accusing you over things when all you want is for this day to be over so you can see him and rest.

Sunghoon’s naturally a jealous boyfriend. He’s very possessive of you to the point that sometimes it can be out of hand. His bad temper and jealous demeanor is not a good combo because he always ends up fucking up things and telling you things he didn’t mean at all.

“Baby, no. Of course not! I really want to watch your gig, you know that right? It’s just—”

“You will really choose that over me, aren’t you? Like as if people doesn’t think I was unworthy of you already. You just really need to prove more...” his monotonous tone are like knives straight to your heart.

“Don’t even go there. You know its not that.” your lips tremble along with your hands as the conversations starts to get more intense.

“Yeah, right. Have fun with your co-worker.” he mumbled with a bitter tone and ended the call right away.

You shut your eyes as you drop your phone to your desk wrecklessly before running your hand through your hair, messing it a bit. The silence occupying the almost empty building floor didn’t help from the aching of your head. He’s really just unbelievable.

And it’s even more unbelievable that you are still so in love with him despite the red flags he’s obviously showing you. It was too late for you to even realize that you are already packing your things to go and see your boyfriend’s gig. The mountain-like paperworks that were on your table caught your eyes and made you halt for a bit, but in the end you chose to turn the lights off and head out of your office. Off to see your sulking boyfriend.

When you arrived, it was their last song for the night. The traffic on the way made the suppose to be 20 minute travel an hour long drive. A relieved sigh made it to your lips while you walk towards their manager, your feet starts to stings from your high-heel.

“Y/n! I thought you couldn’t make it tonight? Sunghoon said.” he smiled warmly before giving you a friendly hug.

You tried your best to return his smile as your eyes roamed and trailed over to the stage. The spotlight that pointed over your boyfriend gave you the chance to have the perfect view of him playing passionately. A small string tugs inside your heart while watching him, eyes closed and letting himself be drawn by music.

When people ask you why you fell so hard for him, they probably won’t understand you unless they’ll be in your shoes themselves. These are the moment he shines the most. The moment you can clearly see the real him. His love for his passion and his smiles melts you from the inside and out. It was unexplainable. You love Sunghoon. You love him so dearly to the point your heart aches.

When he opens his eyes like as if he felt an intense eyes are watching him, he met yours. Those pretty eyes that looks at him with so much affection. The eyes that pretty much made him feel things no one else can. The eyes that can comfort him. His safe place, his solace and his other half. For Sunghoon, if music is his passion then you are the life that pushes him to chase it. His inspiration.

His eyes fixated over you and lips pursed into a pout, still sulking. That made you chuckle and mouthed, ‘I love you.’

Sunghoon’s lips lifts up before responding, ‘I love you too.’ that made your stomach churns and heart thumping like crazy. Somehow it made you feel at ease. Despite all the worries and trials, as long as you have him, you will manage.

Only you and him will understand the type of love you share with each other.

“Thank you so much for tonight everyone! And we are...” Heeseung, their lead vocalists stalls his words and glanced at his band-mates and in unison they leaned over the mics near them and said, “PARADOX.”

The crowd cheers and you can see how they truly enjoyed the whole show. A small, but proud smile made its way towards your lips. The boys did a short fan service while you stay at the side with their manager. Girls swarms around them, but you didn’t mind it. This isn’t new for you anymore and if you want a partner in this line of job, you should prepare yourself for crazy fangirls.

“I’m really glad you made it, y/n” your head snaps over to the side when their manager spoke. He gave you this sincere look on his face and some other kind of gaze you couldn’t identify.

He sports this plain white shirt and some jeans. Hair styled in a pretty basic style any boy could pull and then he stood there a little stiff. You gave him a smile and a clap over his shoulder.

“Of course, I want my boyfriend to know I’m always here for him.” you stated that made his smile falter for a bit. He was quick to pull it back up, nodding his head slowly like as if he was reminded of something.

“Right... Sunghoon.” he mumbled.

Your gaze remained at him, a little confused of his reaction. It bothered you a bit so you’re about to ask him what’s wrong when a pair of strong arms wrapped around your waist.

“Hi hotstuff.” Sunghoon’s voice sounded so seductive as he quickly leans for a heated kiss.

You squeals lightly and tries to pull off from him, but ends up giving in and showing everyone how you two devours each other’s faces. One of Sunghoon’s hand moved down to slightly grope your butt that made you moan a little over his lips. He smirks, mission accomplished for him.

He was greeted by your blushing cheeks once he pulled away, one hand still possessively resting over your waist to keep you close to him.

“H-Hello,” the impact of your latest stunt dawning you, making you feel so shy.

He smirks, fangs showing and good Lord, does he look even hotter.

“You came.” his tone indicates the joy to see you here and that just makes you feel so much better. He may not vocally thank you or tell you he appreciates it so much, but the way his eyes twinkle and shines was enough for you to know how he feels.

“Of course. My boyfriend is being sulky so I have no other choice.” the corner of your lips lifts up, taunting him.

He stares at your eyes before grinning even wider, “I’m not sulky.” he leans in again, couldn’t resist your lips after glancing at it for a second. After he placed a loving kiss, he leans away and went back on facing his friends.

You watch how he threw a short glance at their manager as well and it remained for a while before he direct his attention to some acquaintances that are greeting his band.

The night was long, as usual. This is pretty much what happens whenever he have gigs. You feel so tired, feet feels so painful that you are sure you grew blisters over it. Your eyelids felt so heavy as well, the long day finally kicking in. The boys are still loud and celebrating, but finally one called it a night.

All of you starts heading outside the bar they performed in. Sunghoon’s walking a few steps ahead of you, talking and goofing with his friends. You are silent, too tired to even listen or join on their conversation.

You were almost hit by the door when Sunghoon didn’t even remember to hold it for you. He was too busy talking to his band-mates and didn’t even noticed that the door almost slapped you on the face. Thankfully, an arm held it for you.

“Thank you, Riki.” you gave him a small smile.

You’ve been together with Sunghoon for a while now so that only means you’ve hanged out with his band countless times causing you to grew closer towards them. But for some reasons, Riki is the only one who is somehow felt awkward to be with. You cannot explain why, but there’s just something about him that leaves you nothing to say.

He didn’t smile or anything, just stared down to you using his intimidating eyes.

“No problem.” shivers ran to your spines because of his low voice. His eyes then moved from looking at your eyes towards your things you’re trying to juggle with your arms.

“Let me help you.” it was not a question and even before you can say something to politely reject his offer, his hands reaches over to help you carry your things.

“U-Uhm, thanks.” and your eyes drifted over him as he didn't spoke any words after that.

Riki walks you up to where your boyfriend’s car was parked. Sunghoon’s eyes finally caught you and you don’t even know what to tell him while you approach closer.

His strict eyes caught to your things being carried by Riki. When you are steps away from him, he approaches trying to keep a cool smile.

“Baby, you disappeared from behind me.” and he said that while eyes fixed at his bandmate.

“Well if you keep a close eye to your girlfriend, you might’ve noticed how she’s struggling carrying her stuff, hyung.” Riki didn’t even hesitate to say those words at him.

Sunghoon wasn’t happy about it and you can clearly see anger slowly rising through his face. He clicked his tongue at the side of his cheeks and was about to advance towards Riki, but you stopped him.

“Can we just go? It’s already late and I have work tomorrow.” you stared straight at his eyes.

They were arrogantly looking at you, but eventually softening in surrender. He sighs and grabbed your hand to intertwin your fingers before he nods silently. His head snapped over to his friend and he gave him this knowing look before opening the car’s door for you.

He retrieved your things from Riki and placed it neatly behind your car. Thankfully, he didn’t say anything anymore and just went inside his car afterwards. Riki went on his way as well, riding his motorbike that was parked not too far away.

Sunghoon starts his engine and both of you are silent. It was like that for the first few minutes of the drive, until he decides to break it.

“When did you even got close to Riki?” his tone sounds confused and at the same time implicating something.

You furrowed your brows and glanced at him, “He just helped me to carry my things—”

“Exactly! He doesn’t do that at all, y/n.” the way he said your name was with emphasis. Like telling you that its a serious matter for him. A big deal. But again, when did it never became a big deal when other boys gets involve with you?

“And? I’m his bandmate’s girlfriend. Isn’t it okay for him to help me?!” now, you can’t help but to feel upset about this because you are tired already and he’s making an argument just because Riki helped you.

“You’re just really clueless with your surroundings. You will never understand.” the way his grip tightens at the steering wheel and his jaw clenches caught your attention.

You wanted to just yell at him and point out how he’s being unreasonable and plain childish about this, but you are too drained. Its late already, you’re tired from the office, your feet hurts with this dumb heels and you feel sticky from all the travel you did just to get to their gig. Having an argument with him was the last thing you expected to have.

“Its not my fault that my boyfriend forgot about me and walks off.” you sighed and he was silent after hearing that from you.

“Can’t you just be thankful that he helped me and I didn’t broke an arm from carrying all those stuff?” this time, you tried to soften your tone as a sign of time-out from this nonsense argument he was trying to put up with.

You saw his grip softens and he released a heavy sigh. “Fine.” he glanced at you and his brows are not hardly furrowed anymore. His eyes softens as well. “I’m sorry, baby. Its not my intention to make you feel like I forgot you, I was just really excited.”

With pursed lips, you nodded your head and leaned in for a quick peck over his lips.

“I know. That’s why I didn’t spoil the mood. You were really great from a while ago.” you complimented him, finishing it with your warm smile.

Something warm caress his heart. This is one of the reasons why he can never let you go. Most people would’ve walked out on him or hate at him, but not you. Never.

You will always find a way to find the goodness in him. Even if 99 problematic things about him are presented in front of you, you’ll still find that 1 good thing about him.

You always know the perfect words to calm him down or make him feel better.

He reached over your hand that was resting over your thighs and took it over his lips for a soft kiss. His gaze never left your eyes.

“Thank you for today, really.” he sighs, trying to supply himself more oxygen as he feels like you’re taking his breaths away once again.

“I love you.”

A smile spreads across your face and your free hand stretched out towards him to cup his face. “I love you, Hoon.”

These are the moments you wanted to keep no matter what. Reasons why despite the hardships you go through with Sunghoon, you always manages to find a reason to stay.

But of course, there’s not always good times in your relationship. What else gives it spice other than petty arguments and very random fights with each other?

Months after, the band had another big gig and of course you went to support him like usual. To your surprise, they had a guest singer. Female singer to be exact. And the way she interacts with your boyfriend just can’t leave your mind. It’s bothering you.

“You two seems close.” the comment was short and your eyes watch how your boyfriend load his things inside his car while you rest your back beside it.

Sunghoon threw you a short glance and narrowed his brows.

“What do you mean?”

“You and that girl.” the way you pronounced the word ‘girl’ with so much emphasis gave off hints towards him that you’re implying something.

His shoulder fell as he stared at you for a while, like unconsciously asking if you’re being serious with the choice of tone you decided to use at him. He sighs, when he realized you aren’t budging, but instead crossed your arms at him.

He’s already too tired to even explain things that you won’t listen to. So he struts closer you, held you over your hips and planted a sweet kiss on the lips.

“Let’s just go home, hot stuff. I’m tired.” and he walks over to the driver’s seat not even bothering to open the door for you.

But it seems like you are in the mood to be petty. So even after you made it to the passenger seat and he started driving on your way home, you bring up that topic once again.

“I saw the way she looks at you. I bet she’s undressing you in her mind.”

It made him sigh and roll his eyes. “Seriously? Are you going to talk about that until we makes it to the apartment?”

“Why? You irritated already?” you tilt your head and he glanced at you with piercing gaze. It didn’t bother you at all. If he’s pissed, then you are too.

“You didn’t even introduce me to her.”

His fingers taps his steering wheel more frequently and bit his lips. He sighs, calming himself.

“I did. I even told her your name.”

“But you didn’t told her that I’m your girlfriend!” it was so petty. Even you, you also think that this is such a nonsense thing to argue off. It’s just seeing her look at your boyfriend that way while you’re there doesn’t sit right for you.

Sunghoon scoffed loudly and even if he have a smirk on his face, there was no humor on it. He’s slowly losing his patience.

The wiper of his car moves when it suddenly started raining. It’s the last thing you care about. Your focus is on the hot drummer that’s currently driving you home in your shared apartment. The hot drummer that’s clenching his jaw hardly while trying his best not to argue with you. The hot drummer whose lips so red after you kissed him multiple times to make that bitch know her place. The hot drummer that is clenching his jaw hardly because you keep pushing his buttons at the moment.

“Are you fucking serious right now?” he couldn’t help, but curse.

“Be honest with me. Are you two close? Because with the way she linked her arms, it seems like so.”

He rolled his eyes as he teared his gaze off of you and back to the road. The rain are still pouring hard that its a little difficult to drive.

“You really aren’t going to stop unless I answer your questions, are you?” he surrenders. You didn’t answer and just crossed your arms while looking at him. Waiting for what he’s about to say.

He gave you another short glance as he shook his head. Like he couldn’t believe what situation you just put him into.

Honestly, you don’t know what exactly it is that you wanted to hear from him. If he answers that he doesn���t know her that long, you will still feel pissed because why the hell does she acts like they’ve been best friends ever since they were born? And if he answers, yes they know each other for a long time, you will feel really bad because you will feel jealous.

“We’ve known each other since highschool. Even before the band started playing in other places.” he says.

Your shoulder fell and he saw it from his peripheral view. He knew you won’t feel so good about it, but he also know that lying about it will only make the situation worse. The car fell silent right after he said it.

“Is she your ex-girlfriend?” that question doesn’t sound like you are asking him. Its more like you already know and just expecting an answer from him.

“No, okay? So calm your dumbass.” he’s starting to lose his patience for you.

You’ll be honest, you kind of thought he would say yes. That actually made you feel better. But not enough to let her slip away from your mind. Those eyes. The way she looks at you just boils something inside you.

“Did you two kissed before?” you fired him that question with more suspicion.

When you saw the look on his face, you felt something in your heart cracks. It definitely stab something in you when his expression confirmed that.

With slightly teary eyed, you raised your chin up to ask him your last question.

“Did you have sex with her?” bitterness latched through your voice and you bit your lower lip when he stayed silent again. Confirmed.

“Pull over.” you command and harshly wiped the tears that escaped.

He sighs, “Baby, come on...” he pursed his lips and even tried to reach over you.

“I said pull over!”

He clenched his jaw tighter then obliged, knowing well you will just fall into a much worse mood if he don’t do as you say. He’s expecting you to hit him by his arm or shout at him again, but he surely didn’t expect you storming out from his car. He didn’t see that one coming.

Between you two, he’s the jealous one. There are rare times that you get jealous and when it happens, its so hard to calm you down. Sunghoon’s heart is thumping hard, slightly thrilled to watch you acting like this. The oh so perfect, y/n. Shouting and acting crazy out of jealousy. He bet he’s the only one who made you feel like this.

“Y/n!” he shouts and went after you.

The rain starts to pour harder, but it didn’t bothered you at all. You marched away from his car, towards the nearest bus stop. With just a few steps, he managed to catch up on you and grabbed your arm then yanked you towards him.

“Let me go!” you screamed at him.

Sunghoon’s clenching his jaw as he stares at your face carefully. It was hard to tell if you’re crying or not due to the rain that’s slowly soaking you both. Despite your attempts to free yourself, Sunghoon just tightens his grip and kept his stares over you.

“Stop being a brat and let’s go back inside the car! We’re both drenched because of you!”

You clenched your jaw and hands into fists. People who passes by will probably think that you’re both losing your minds. Going out in the middle of the rain and fighting at 2 am. Thankfully, there are fewer cars driving through.

“I cannot believe you fuck that bitch!” it was rare enough to see you shouting, but much more rare to hear you cursing like this.

“It was a long time ago!” he renew his hold and this time reached for the other arm. The wetness of your skin kind of makes it slippery, but he knew he won’t let go of you.

“That happened before you, y/n! And it means nothing for me.”

“Clearly isn’t the same for her?!” you stopped resisting and just stay still, glaring at him.

“The way she links her arms and flirts with you drives me insane! Like I want to pull you away and kiss you in front of her type of insane!”

Sunghoon’s dumbfounded. He knows he should not feel so happy about what he heard, but he is. Just by thinking of you going crazy to the point you’ll insist public affection is making his heart race. To think you are crazy for him as he is to you, is driving him even more crazier. He just couldn’t get enough of you.

“Then why didn’t you?” this time he seems more calmer that made your narrowed brows falter. He was just screaming at you too, now he’s a lot calmer.

“I’m yours, y/n. I belong to you so claiming me in front of anybody is no problem at all.” he says and took another step closer. Your bodies pressed together and when he noticed that you aren’t trying to escape his hold anymore, he raised his hand to cup your face.

“I don’t fucking care if she tries to flirt with me. I don’t care about her. All I care about is you.” his eyes slowly roams his eyes to your pretty face.

“Yes, we did kissed and fucked before,” he sighs and your lips pursed into a pout but let him finish what he wants to say.

“But she never made me feel like this.” he held one of your hand then rest it above his chest, enough for you to feel his racing heartbeat.

“She doesn’t make me nervous whenever she stares at my eyes. She doesn’t give me butterflies whenever she smiles at me or melt my heart whenever she hold me.” your eyes water from his sincere words as he licked his lower lip, gaze not leaving you.

Both of you are soaked, but it didn’t bother you at all. Sunghoon’s bangs covers his forehead, some beads of rains falling from it over to your face as he stare down at you.

“That’s all you, love. Only you can make me feel madly in love. Like I will go crazy because I love you too much.” a tear fell from his eyes along with the raindrops from his hair. He looked ethereal staring at you lovingly, with so much emotions that makes your heart burst because of exceptional happiness.

“That’s the way I love you.” he murmured near your lips before you leaned to press a hot kiss for him.

“I love you so much, Hoon.” and this time, it was his turn to lean and kiss you passionately.

Disregarding the fact that you are under the hard pouring rain, sharing probably one of the most memorable kisses of your relationship, you’re mind is clouded by how intense your feelings are for the man that holding you right now. It’s funny how moments ago you’re just screaming at each other and now, your lips feels so hot connected together.

But it seems like, love is not enough to keep the relationship steady. And just like what older people used to say, everything is bad when its too much.

Being with Sunghoon felt like a dream with nightmares, clear blue oceans with big dangerous waves and a freaking roller coaster ride. Sometimes you’re so happy that you feel like your heart will burst with so much emotions and sometimes you feel like everything’s too much. That its tiring and draining you.

It somehow toxicating. And this toxic relationship with Sunghoon is honestly tiring you.

“And now you are giving me the silent treatment? Wow!” his sarcasm rubs on you, making your heart feel more heavy.

“I have nothing to say to you after what you just did, Sunghoon.”

“What? You’re mad because I embarrassed him? He’s clearly hitting on you!” your head snaps at him with glaring eyes.

“He’s just being nice and he’s my head supervisor!” your tone raised and he didn’t liked it in one bit.

Sunghoon’s always the jealous boyfriend. You actually couldn’t understand why he’s being like this when you already made it so clear that he’s the only one for you. That there’s no man that can ever steal you away from him.

“Oh, okay. I see...” he clenched his jaw before laughing with no humor. He faced the road and tried hard to focus on driving.

“If you want to impress your supervisor so much, why bring me with you?!” his statement made you roll your eyes in annoyance.

“Because you’re my boyfriend and I want you to be there for me! Will it hurt so much to be supportive or know something about what your girlfriend loves to do?! It’s not always going to be about you, Sunghoon! I need you to be there for me too!”

Your words may had come out wrongly, but all you wanted is for him to be for you. It was a thrilling day since employees should make good impressions to the supervisors to show how fit and reliable they are for the company, but your bofriend just made a scene and now you have no idea how you will show up to work on Monday.

“I told you already that these type of events are not for me! People are clearly looking down on me for having such a wonderful girl like you! They will always rub it on my face how perfect you are and that you deserve so much better!” his tone raised and it made you jolt a bit.

“And it seems like you just don’t get it! You kept on forcing me to go and I hated it! You are just determined to prove me that they’re so right!”

Your heart cracks and his words are like knives straight to your heart. You know him. Whenever he’s mad, he ought to say words he doesn’t mean. That’s his way of avoiding to show what he truly feels. You can tell by his blood-shot eyes and clenching jaw. But you are tired. You are tired of understanding him.

“Is that how you really see me? Do you really think that that’s what I’m doing?”

He clenches his jaw, being stubborn. “Maybe you are really ambitious and I’m just the stupid boyfriend who knows nothing but to enjoy music.” he says emotionless.

A tear left your eye. You can’t take this anymore. You had enough.

“Stop the car.” it was almost audible, but thanks to the deafening silence after what he said made it clear and loud. He furrowed his brows and looked at you, checking if you’re being serious.

You two have been arguing about you and this job for a week. And the event is today and Sunghoon just ruined it for you. Honestly you’re getting enough of it. With all the stress from your work and family, he suppose to be your resting place. But that’s not the case anymore.

He did stop the car and even before you open it, he said something. “The moment you leave, we’re done.” he said coldly.

You halted from stepping outside and felt your heart crack, but you knew you needed it and so you did. You left him.

“Jake’s so sweet, y/n! I truly envy you for having him as your boyfriend!” one of your friends exclaimed right after Jake left your table to go order some food.

You gave them a small smile. They’re right. Jake is really the best boyfriend. He treats you very well. He’s everything you’ve asked for before. A caring and loving boyfriend. He’s working in the corporate world, which matches yours. He’s very gentle towards you, always got the doors for you, he never makes you wait, he cares for what you want and a man of his words. He felt like so warm to be with, someone you can be comfortable with easily.

“Yeah,” you replied short with a small smile on your lips. They giggle, truly happy for you.

“Thank God you snapped out of it and finally got the man you deserve.” one of them says that made your smile falter.

She didn’t mention anything or any name, but you knew who she’s referring to and what she means by that sentence.

An awkward laugh from another friend broke the silence and just diverted the topic. You tried to pull up your smile once again, especially after seeing from a distance that Jake’s already on his way back to your table.

He sets himself at the chair beside you and smoothly made a conversation with your friends. He’s very friendly too. He gets along with people with no sweat. Such a pure man.

You’re about to put a straw to your drink, but he beats you out of it. He reached for it and carefully slid it towards you while still talking to your friends. It made you smile. Being treated like this sure feels right, feels okay. But why does your heart feel a little heavy?

Jake threw his arm and placed it behind your chair, hand caressing your arm gently. You pushed whatever that feeling is behind your mind and tries to join their conversation as well.

The day went smoothly and now Jake dropped you at your place. As you unclasped your seatbelt, he went out of the car then walked around so he can open your door for you. He even offered a hand with that warm smile of his.

A chuckle slips off from you before you accepted it and went out. His other hand rests over your hip as he slightly pins you to his car to place a kiss over your lips. He smiles after a couple of pecks then leans away to stare at your eyes.

“You’re so beautiful.” he says sincerely that made you smile widely. Jake and his words.

“You’ve been saying that all day, Jake.”

He chuckles, biting his lips feeling a little shy. “Just so you wouldn’t forget.”

“Thank you.” you said while looking straight to his eyes.

He might take it as a thank you for today, but there’s more to it. Jake’s the next serious relationship after Sunghoon and it can’t be helped to compare the two of them. Even if you know its not good to do that, you just can’t stop yourself from doing so. They’re very different from each other.

“No problem.” he leans again to give you another peck.

“See you tomorrow, baby.” Jake said with a soft smile. You nodded and waved before going inside your apartment and called it a day.

It’s been almost a year ever since that night and yet its still fresh from your memory like it was just yesterday. You resigned from your previous job. You wanted so bad to convince everybody that it was because you’re embarrassed by what happened prior to it, but no. It was mainly because you kind of blamed it for losing your relationship. Kind of dumb, but maybe you are really insane when it comes to him.

Sunghoon never contacted you after that. You didn’t hear from him ever since and honestly it pissed and got you butt hurt. Well, you did change your number and blocked him from all your social media but you kind of hoped he will try to reach out for you.

Seems like it was meant to end that way.

Some people from your life kept telling you that you did the right thing, that it was the best decision you’ve ever made. You got a new job, got a new boyfriend that your parents approved. They adore Jake so much. He’s so close to your Mother and to your Dad as they’re both into business.

You should be happy about it. You are happy. But a part of you aches for someone. A bitter feeling lingers inside you because they never tried to open their heart for Sunghoon before. It makes you think that if they did, maybe things went a little more okay.

You threw your head back and stared at the ceiling. A slight guilt crept inside your heart. You got the perfect boyfriend you’ve been praying for and he’s treating you right. He barely even fight with you as he was always understanding.

But as stupid as it sounds, you missed screaming and fighting with Sunghoon. Those instense moments that just brings out much more emotions within you that makes you act insane.

These thoughts are making you crazy so you decided to take a quick shower and just call it a day. You went to bed with eyes brimmed with tears, aching and missing him so bad. It frustrates you because you feel helpless, unable to do anything about it. You’re scared to think that you are still thinking of him right now while he’s happy with someone else.

The next thing you know, it was morning already. Your eyes hurts a bit for crying to sleep last night so you’re slightly out of it when you went to your office.

“Do you want some coffee? Looks like you need one.” one of your officemates offered that you returned with a small pout.

“Please.” and she nods before going to the pantry for a while to get you your coffee.

“Here you go.” and she gently placed it on your working table. You mumbled a small ‘thanks’ as she settles at her chair beside yours.

“Oh!” your head craned to glance at her. “We will be meeting the new potential investors to our company later. I heard one of them is really good looking.” she giggles that made you smirk.

“You know its not always just by the looks, right?”

She rolled her eyes, “Easy for you to say because you have a gorgeous boyfriend!”

You laughed, “That is right.”

You joked around for a while before you’re asked to prepare for the arrival of the vip guests. Soon after, your head supervisor walks in and behind her are men wearing suits and tie. Looking like some young bachelors. Tall and handsome men.

As your eyes shifted to the last one who walks inside, your heart dropped. His familiar fair skin, charcoal black hair, noise pointy with a pretty mole at the side of it, eyes blank surrounded with thick and pretty eyelashes, topping it with his thick eyebrows that makes his skin color glow even more. His lips naturally red and luscious. Your knees weakened at the sight and heart started to race.

“Oh my god, Y/n!” she whispered beside you and even wiggled a little like as if she was got electicuted.

“He's so handsome!”

Oh hell yes he is. And your eyes watered at the sight of him. The familiar feeling of longing occupies your whole system. Park Sunghoon stood there looking so breathtaking. You missed everything in him and you hate how he looked so okay.

He unconsciously roamed his eyes around and accidentally met yours. It grew slightly, clearly not expecting seeing you. His lips parted a bit and didn’t glanced away.

“Y/n?” she snapped you out of your thoughts and you quickly teared your gaze away, feeling ashamed for staring too long. He probably saw you looking like a loser for being affected too much.

Sooner, they guided you inside to start the meeting and you kept on shifting from your seat. Having meeting like this is normal for you already, but now that you have your ex boyfriend sat at the other end of the table makes you really conscious.

“You okay?” your office mate might’ve noticed your weird demeanor so she looked concern.

You flashed her a shy smile and nodded then tried to focus on the person talking. But a minute after, your mind is drifting somewhere else once again. Even before you know it, your eyes shifts to where he was sat and to your surprise, he’s looking at you already.

You glanced away and cleared your throat. Embarrased that he caught you stealing glances at him.

When you couldn’t take it anymore, you turned over your supervisor and tried excusing yourself. Making up a lie that you’re not feeling well. She seemed to buy it and asked you to take a rest. Without wasting anytime, you stood up and politely excused yourself from the meeting.

A few steps out from the conference room and you heard it opened again. You ignored it and tried calming yourself, but the memory of Sunghoon’s eyes flashed before your eyes. Your eyes got teary. Seeing him just awoke your sleeping feelings for him that you tried to bury deep inside your heart.

“Y/n.” and a hand halted you from making another step.

You glanced at the person who stopped you and your heart thumped even faster. His brows narrowed and eyes looked concern.

“Are you okay? Why did you leave the meeting?” his tone sounded so soft and it makes you want to cry on the spot.

Now that you’re face to face and this close to each other, you can see how much he grown. He slightly changed. Good change, mostly. He looked even more mature and manly. His familiar manly scent invaded your nose that draws in so many memories of you two.

“Y-Yes,” and you flashed him a fake smile. “How are you, Sunghoon? It’s b-been a while.”

His shoulder relaxed after hearing that you’re okay. His eyes dropped to his hand holding your arm and slowly, he lets go of it.

“I’m good.” he responded briefly before roaming his eyes on your face. His heart aches.

“It looks like you’ve been doing well.” there's a hint of sadness looming over his tone, but you tried to ignore it thinking that you’re just mishearing it.

“Yeah.”

“Good to know.” it sounded a little sarcastic.

“Why are you here? Did you stop playing with your band?” the question you wanted to ask so bad. It was odd enough to see him here and much weirder because you know how much he hates wearing suit and ties. Tho you must admit that he looks so good on it.

He smirks, bitterness over his eyes.

“I still do, but not as often as before.”

“Ohh,” you sounded sad because you are. You know how much he loves doing that.

You’re about to say something else when your phone rang. You fished it from your pocket and when you saw your boyfriend’s caller id, you felt like someone slapped you back to reality. You want to hurt yourself for starting to act crazy once again just after seeing your ex boyfriend.

When you glance back at him, you saw his eyes darted at your phone with a cold expression on his face. You gulped, feeling nervous before you answered it.

“Baby!” the cheerfulness over Jake’s voice spreads guilt on your chest pretty fast. A tsunami on the shore, coming unexpected.

“H-hey, babe.” you murmured and steal a glance over at Sunghoon.

His expression fell cold as he straighten his back, not leaning anymore so he can slightly match your height. His hands slid inside his pocket as he stared at you intensely. His eyes are piercing right at you, like a cop catching you red-handed. To why he is still standing there and not leaving is slightly a mystery for you.

“Hi sweetheart. I called just to remind you about later tonight.” he says, accent coming a little strong.

Now you’re attention had been snatched away from the beautiful man standing right in front of you. With a confused face, you wondered what he is talking about. Trying to remember if you missed any plans he had made for the two of you tonight.

“T-Tonight? What’s up tonight?” and you slightly turned away from Sunghoon for some privacy. But you can still feel his heated gaze, burning holes at the back of your head.

“Don’t tell me you forgot?” he asks, slightly taunting. You didn’t respond and just wait for him to reveal about it.

“We’re having dinner at your parents tonight, baby.”

You draws in a sigh and hand raised to massage your temple.

“Oh, that was today.”

He chuckles, “Yes. Don’t worry, I got your Mom’s favorite flower and your Dad’s wine.”

You bit your lower lip for another perfect boyfriend scenario he just pulled.

“Thank you, babe. I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Hmm, i love you.”

You stood cold on your feet. The words are at your tongue, you just have to say it but for some reasons, something’s stopping you.

“Babe?” Jake’s voice snapped you back to reality and you cleared your throat then chuckles.

“S-Sorry, spaced out a little. I l-love you too, Jake. See you later.”

He chuckles, “Okay, cutie. Have a nice day.” and then he ended the call.

The silence and heavy atmosphere enveloping you and Sunghoon are undescribable. You’ve never had something like this with him. Even during your biggest fights, its never been like this.

Slowly, you glanced at him and his eyes looked cold. For a brief moment, it seemed like you saw sadness on it but when he saw you looking he switched it right in. His jaw clenches as he stares right at you, like waiting for you to say something to him.

“U-Uhm, nice seeing you again. See y-you around, Sunghoon.” and you turn your heels, ready to leave him when he said something.

“So it was that easy for you to find someone else, huh? Glad to finally know it.” his words are filled with nothing but slight anger and bitterness.

“Excuse me?” you whipped your head to look at him with furrowed brows.

“You left me and find someone new. It was easy for you.”

“You. Made. Me. Leave. You.” each words was emphasize so you can make your point.

“And what do you know about what I feel? It was not easy for me!” your tone raised because of how he just made you upset with what he said.

“Doesn’t seem like it for me.”

You thought he changed, but clearly he didn’t. You are dumb enough to be shaken by him.

“I’m not having this conversation with you right now.” and you turned around, having the firm decision of leaving and getting him out of your sight.

Two steps and he managed to grab your wrist once again. He sighs, heavy sighs.

“O-Okay, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way.” he licked his lips and gently made you face his way.

When he saw through your eyes how he hurt you again with his words, he almost want to hit himself. He already knew what went wrong before. How he fucking messed everything up. How selfish he is. And he doesn't want to repeat the same mistakes once again.

He was always someone whose hard to read. Yes, you are one of the very few people who can understand him right away, who can read through him from time to time and definitely one of the top people who can deal with his shits. Sunghoon’s not really good at showing how he cares to people. He have his own ways of showing them, and he thought that was enough. But he was wrong.

Sunghoon loves you. He loves you so much that he changed a lot ever since you left. He changes his way of thinking and even exerted effort to become someone better for you. It's such a shame that it took him to lose you to realize things.

The thing is no matter how confident he is to a lot of things back then, a part of him was secretly insecure. Insecurities that built up through the journey of having you as his partner. You’re a wonderful person and he always think that he was very lucky to have you. And so the insecurity and fear of losing you gets the best of him.

Being someone whose not expressive and overthinks a lot isn’t a very good combo. Makes him do a lot of stupid things that hurts you so much. He was so regretful of those times and if he can do anything just to go back to fix everything, he will. But he can’t go back. There’s no such thing as time machine.

What he can do is try. Try to make you feel how sorry he was. Try to make you see a different him, a better version of him. The better version that he strive to be just for you. And try to make you feel how much he loves you.

“I’m really sorry for what I did back then.” he started and licked his lips. He kept sighing heavily to ease his nervous feelings, calming his racing heart.

He had rehearsed the words he wants to tell you once he saw you again, but they all became pointless as his mind went blank just by having you standing in front of him.

“Not just the last night we are together,” he felt his heart break by the mention of it. One of the nights he regretted the most. “but I’m sorry for everything. I was so dumb to realize things much faster. I was an idiot for not treating you better.” he licked his lips and stared right to your eyes.

“I love you, y/n. I still do.” the tears pooling your eyes starts to stream down your face.

“The same type of love I feel for you back then. I love you so much that it hurts. It didn’t change at all. It was always you for me.”

Right now, you felt like your heart is being squeezed so hard. These words you wanted to hear from him back then are finally happening. But things are a lot more complicated as it is. Jake’s face flashes through your mind and you can’t take hurting him.

And also because you still feel so hurt he didn’t do anything just to make you stay. Why now? Why now when you’re a little okay already?

Your lips trembles as you open them to speak.

“You know if you only went after me that night, I would’ve stayed. I would not leave you.” you says in your low voice.

His eyes softens and tighten his grip on you. Your eyes dropped at his hand and it took everything in you to unclasp his hold.

“I’m sorry, Sunghoon. A lot of things changed already, but,” your words halted. ‘But I still love you.’ were the words you wanted to say.

You shut your eyes and opens them, trying to hide your real feelings for him.

“I do kind of wish you tried to fix it after we ended. I waited for you.”

You saw him broke and it was so much harder for you. To see him like this is your weakness. You’ve always had a soft spot for him and it will always remain like that.

“Y/n I—” he was cut off when the conference room’s door bursts open.

You quickly wiped off your tears. Thankfully, Sunghoon’s built was enough to cover you from whoever that is.

“I have to go. Good bye.” and without sparing him another glance, you stormed out of the scene. Leaving the place. Leaving Sunghoon and leaving your heart with him.

The encounter with your ex boyfriend just made you disoriented. You spaced out most of the day and you’re thankful that the people in your workplace just thought you are not feeling well. They didn’t asked much about it and just gives you space.

When Jake came to pick you up, you felt so much worse. His sweet smiles makes you so guilty. It felt so bad. You feel horrible for still having feelings for your ex when he was there with you. Treating you good like how you wanted.

“Jake! My boy!” your Dad’s cheerful voice errupted the whole room as he went to give him a hug.

You watch how he connected with your parents and it made you think about the times with Sunghoon. They’ve never been like that towards him. Your mother’s a little nicer than your Dad, but she never really tries to know Sunghoon as he is a little intimidating for her. That’s what she said.

Your Dad on the other hand just flat out shut his doors for him. After knowing what he does, he straight up dislikes him without even trying to get to know him more.

It made you feel bad for Sunghoon. Just by thinking of how would he react if he saw this scene of your parents warmly welcoming Jake to your home will hurt him like hell. And that’s what you did to him before. You kept on forcing him into this when you knew it was a low case already. You kept rubbing salt to the open wounds your parents had created to him.

“Honey, you all right?” your Mom took notice of your silence. The two guys looked at your way with concerns in their eyes.

You quickly pulled a small smile for them.

“I just don’t feel so well today, Mom.” she coos and cupped your face.

“Oh my cupcake. Let’s go eat already, I’m sure it will be gone once you have your favorite soup.” and she even gave you a hug.

Your Dad caress your arms and asked you two to follow them so you can start eating dinner already. Jake’s hands settles on the small of your back, eyes looking at you with so much concern.

“You okay, baby?”

You nodded with a small smile before he guided you towards the dining area. The dinner started and the three of them were the ones talking most of the time. You tries to join and forcedly laugh from time to time while eating so little. Just to avoid suspicion from them.

“I’m really glad you found Jake, y/n! He’s such a great match for you. Unlike that boy...” the scowl on his face appears for the first time tonight.

Your smile falters and you quickly fell on a foul mood. Your father always hated him. He never saw his efforts.

You lowered your head, doesn’t really want to hear more about it.

“He has a thick face for showing up here in our home multiple times months ago to look for y/n!” he added, sounding so upset about it.

Your hand halted from playing with your food after his words slowly sink into your system. You lift your head and stared at your Dad with furrowed brows.

“Sunghoon went here? When?” you asked in a speed of light. Doesn’t want them to bury this topic.

Your Mom and Jake was surprised to how you reacted.

“A week after you left his sorry ass. You know I was so pissed at him for coming back over and over again even after I told him you don’t want him anymore and that he should just leave you alone. You are better off without him. Maybe he is really just that stupid—”

“Why didn’t you told me this before?” your tone sounded so accusing. The look of betrayal on your eyes burns towards your Father.

“I don’t see the need of mentioning that to you. He’s already out of the picture. I really hate that boy. He’s bad for you. I never understand why you loved someone like him?”

“You never really tried to get to know him so how would you understand?”

“Pardon?” your Father’s expression looked offended by how you said the last sentence.

You stood up abruptly, making a dragging sound from your chair. They all looked at you with confusion on their faces.

“I should’ve known you can do something like that, Dad. I should’ve known Sunghoon will come here to look for me despite knowing that he will get nothing but mistreatment. I should’ve known.” you started marching out from the room and you can hear Jake calling out for you, but you couldn’t care more.

All you can think of was how hard must it been for Sunghoon. Now all his words from a while ago hits you differently. The way his eyes flashes sadness and how he looked so broken just made your heart crack into a million pieces.

He maybe a mess, but he is your mess. He is your person, your other half.

“Y/n hold on,” your steps halted right when you are at the front porch of your house.

Jake went after you and when you saw how scared his eyes and how he looked so broken, it hurts you. But you knew it will just break him more if you continue being with him when your heart clearly belongs to someone else.

“Where are you going?” he asks, even if he knew the answer already.

“I’m really sorry Jake. I love you, really.” you licked your lips and tears pooled the corner of your eyes.

“But I still love him. It’s still him.”

You’ve never seen Jake like this before. You are so used at seeing him smile that seeing him this broken, hurts you so much.

“Are you serious? No...” he chuckles with no humor, blinking rapidly to push those tears back inside his eyes.

“I’m sorry, Jake. You deserve someone who will love you with all their heart and that person is not me.” and you removed his hand from your arm.

A tear left his eyes, but you turned away. You are being selfish again and choosing what will make you truly happy.

After calling a cab, you told the driver the address of your old apartment you shared with Sunghoon. Hoping that he’s still staying in that place, otherwise you will have to go ask his friends.

On the way to him, you realized a lot of things. You realized his little efforts that kept you going through the relationship. You started seeing how he’s imperfectly perfect for you. That despite his flaws, he’s always been the only one who loves you genuinely. The person who will love you even if you fail. The person who you can show your vulnerable side and still think you’re the most wonderful person.

You went out of the cab and just right in time, the rain poured. It reminded you that same night where you ended things with Sunghoon. Starting to get drenched, you walked towards the apartment building that you used to stay in with him. The same apartment that holds so much memories.

On the other hand, inside the apartment, Sunghoon’s brows were hardly furrowed while he head over his door after hearing a doorbell. He's a little confuse as he expects nobody for tonight.

He opens it and quickly, the annoyed expression over his face was replaced with a surprised one.

“Y/n?” he uttered seeing you standing in front of his unit, all drenched.

Your eyes softens at the sight of him. Seeing him in his white plain shirt and black shorts that he always use to wear whenever you two stays inside. You felt so happy seeing him. Your mouth opens to say something but eyes shifted at the back of him.

The relief you felt washes away at the sight of a girl coming out from the comfort room.

“Who is it, oppa?” she asked and you felt so dumb.

You are stoned at your position for a while before starting to step away. You probably looked like a freaking loser being all drenched and crashing to his apartment. Your heart broke again if its possible as it was already broken, then you cleared your throat. Tears streaming nonstop.

“I-I’m sorry. I should’ve not come here...” and you stormed off.

You heard him calling out for you, but you didn’t stop. Trying to save some dignity left in you. The rain is still pouring hard when you arrived outside but you didn’t care. You walked like a lifeless being with no direction to go to. People stared, but you just ignored them. You are hurting so bad and you wished that the rain will wash it away.

“Y/n!” a scream halt your step.

His familiar voice echoes inside your mind and you heard rummaging steps approaching you. You wanted to run and save a face, but you didn’t. Your heart felt so heavy.

Two shoes came into your view and slowly you lift your head up. Sunghoon’s starting to get drenched by the rain too, but like you he seems to not care. His chest rises up and down, trying to catch his breath after running after you. He’s wearing a jacket now on top of his white t-shirt which is useless as its slowly getting wet as well.

You looked at him with broken stares.

“Why are you here?” he asks, hoping that you came here to tell him that you want him back. That you want him as much as he wants you.

Your lips tremble and hot tears brimmed your eyes. It made it a little harder to see his face clearly because of the rain, but you tried hard. Sunghoon notices and stepped closer, head slightly covering your face from the pouring rain as he stares down on you.

“I c-came to tell you that a lot of things already changed,” you started and tried to push away your pride. This time, you wanted to do it right.

“but my feelings for you remained the same. I love you, Sunghoon. I love you so much that my heart felt like it stopped beating when I left you. I love you so much that I knew I will never be the same again after we broke up. I love you so much that I ended things with Jake just so I can be happy again. It’s making me lose my mind, making me act insane. And that’s the way I love you.”

Sunghoon licked his lower lip and the rain was cold, but his heart was warm. God, how he missed feeling this way.

“And I know I hurt you before. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry for leaving that night and for thinking you didn’t try to fix it. I’m really sorry—” your words were cut off when he smashed his lips on yous.

Your hand reached over his clothes, holding it tightly for support system. His kisses started aggressive, like he wanted to do that for so long. Like he’s been deprived of it. The kiss lasted for a while until he leans away to catch his breath, you followed his lips for a few more pecks then his forehead rests on yours.

He cupped your face, warming it using his warm hands. While staring at his eyes, your loving gaze suddenly changed with a glaring eyes.

“What?”

“Who’s that girl at your apartment?” your question are like an interogation.

He smirks and chuckles. He even tries to kiss you, but you leaned away making him whine a little.

“She’s my cousin. She stayed overnight at our apartment after going out with her friends. She’s about to leave now.” you quickly melt when he addressed the apartment as yours and his.

You pout and calmed down. He chuckles and made your noses touch, staring at your eyes loving.

“I love you.” he says, placing another hot kiss on your lips. Your heart aches, but this time in a good way. You felt like you are finally where you should be. Inside his arms.

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[nicoscheer]

Miles Kane, What It's Like to Play as a 'One Man Band'

We met Miles Kane as a founding member of important bands such as the Last Shadow Puppets with Alex Turner of the Arctic Monkeys and the Rascals. In the last several years, the Liverpudlian has been on a solitary path, as the name of his recent release suggests. We spoke with him shortly before his long-awaited return to Athens, at "Arch Club", on Friday 5/17.

How has your tour been going so far?

The concerts so far are incredible. I'm excited to play by myself, so I'm very happy. I think people are relating and connecting with the songs on my new record and it's taking me to places I haven't seen in a long time. And Greece is one of those places.

Can you tell us a few words about how you wrote "One Man Band", your most chart-topping album to date?

The album was created in Liverpool. We worked on it with my cousin James Skelly, who used to be a member of The Coral. We went back home and that gave birth to the desire to make a completely straight album. Writing songs is what I do best, not thinking too much, just talking about my feelings, my worries and how I want to be better. I guess life in general is what "One Man Band" is all about, stomping on some rock'n'roll, surf music. We had a clear idea of ​​what the album and its sound should be and we followed it to the end. This is also the reason why it is my favorite work of all that I have released so far. I feel very proud!

You started a great career by participating in various bands, such as Last Shadow Puppets. What motivated you to follow a more solitary path in recent years?

I've been doing solo stuff since I was 22 and I'm 38 now. I learned so much from the bands I was in, the Rascals and the Little Flames. Being on my own and free to work with whoever I want and do whatever I want – even if it sounds selfish – I think suits me best.

And what's the biggest lesson you've learned from playing as a "One Man Band"?

Not playing with a band is completely different for me. It's a huge challenge and not many could pull it off to be honest. It has made me improve my performance as a guitarist, as a singer and as a performer.

What is the most important experience from this journey?

It may sound cliche but I really had a lot of good times in my career. But I feel that who I am today as a person in life and on stage gives me new meaning and life. At all these smaller concerts where I meet new fans, I realize that the younger generation brings a whole different energy to it all. I feel that the phase I am in now is the happiest of my life. I feel more connected and hope to stay on this "path".

Are you excited to be back in Athens ("Arch Club", 5/17)?

Yes! I think I can't remember the last time I visited Greece because it's been so many years. I hope people come because I plan to give you the best night of your life.

What constitutes a successful live?

A great outfit, some "golden" dance moves and an audience! I need to feel like people want to be involved as much as I want to be. This is the only way we can go to the next level.

What are your plans for the future?

I'm trying to write something new and prepare a new album, but I'm having a hard time doing it right now. I don't want to stop the flow of things. I'm quite a simple person and I know what I like in life... Music. Maybe next year I'll be ready for a new release.

Is there another side project in the works?

We're not working on anything with Alex. [Turner], like Last Shadow Puppets. But I have this new little side project going on called The Evils and it's an instrumental surf idea. We'll see how this goes... [s.s. In the time between the interview and its publication, Kane along with Oscar Sholto Robertson and Dave Bardon released the E.P. "Miles Kane & The Evils".]

Miles Kane's albums in his own words

"Colour of the Trap" (2011)

"The beginning of the adventure, when I was still searching for who I am. This album opened the way for me. You can hear all the different sides of me in it."

"Don't Forget Who You Are" (2013)

"Probably one of the best songs I've ever written [inc. the title]. Something keeps me coming back to it. It's like coming home to the roots for me. Sometimes in life you can get sidetracked and forget who you are. This song defined me as an artist and as a person."

"Coup de Grace" (2018)

"An intense rock'n'roll, punk period! Coming out with such an aggressive album is not as easy as you think."

"Change the Show" (2022)

"My chance to show my love for Northern Soul and Motown...Growing up I listened to everything from Diana Ross and the Four Tops to whatever was on the radio."

-

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[d1xonss]

Desert Rose

Chapter 47 ~ Infected

✧ Pairing : Daryl Dixon x Rose

✧ Era : Season 4

✧ Word Count : 5k

In this chapter ~ All was well in the early morning, until the group discovers chaos breaking out in one of the cellblocks, leading to many deaths that none of them were prepared for. They soon discover an illness is beginning to spread, needing to act on it fast before it only got worse.

I woke up the next morning with Daryl's arms still wrapped protectively around my waist whilst my head rested against his chest. I easily could've let myself laugh at how hard he was sleeping, he was practically knocked out cold. It wasn't too early in the morning, I could tell, but I knew nobody else would be up yet at this hour. The sun was just barely beginning to rise.

After slowly allowing myself to wake, I tried to cautiously worm my way out of his hold so I could shower before everyone else started to get up for the day. It was never a fun thing when the bathroom was constantly crowded. But right as I was sitting on the edge of the bed and about to stand, familiar arms wrapped around me again and pulled me back into him with ease. I laughed quietly at his movements, my back was now pressed against his chest.

"No." he muttered into my neck.

"We have to get ready eventually." I pointed out, knowing the long day we had planned ahead of us.

He left a few light kisses on my neck before saying, "Yeah, eventually meanin...eventually." he spoke in a slow, teasing manner.

I smiled, "Well, I wanted to take a shower this morning before anyone else woke up."

That caused him to perk up quite quickly, and I could feel him pull away so he was sat up on his elbows. I turned to look at him over my shoulder and gave him an innocent smile.

He raised his eyebrows, "I'll meet cha there." he said with a wink.

That made my eyes sparkle as I eagerly nodded my head before getting up and heading towards the showers. I was lost in my own little world as I walked past a few cell clocks, the echoing of my footsteps being the only thing I could hear in the odd silence. I began going over in my head about what I had to get done that day, also hoping to catch a glimpse Michonne at least once more before she was most likely going to head out again. Knowing she wouldn't be staying long. But what I was really focused on is how I wouldn't be showering alone this morning, and that brought a smirk to my face.

Though my thoughts then cut short suddenly when I heard a weird sound coming from down the hallway I walked past, making me stop for a moment and backtrack a few steps as I paused to listen. The darkened hallway led to a separate cellblock, and I could've sworn the noise sounded just like a walker, but I didn't want to freak out if it was nothing as I remained calm. I slowly took out the knife I always had on me and followed slowly to where the distant sound was coming from. 

But then my heart stopped beating completely. There were screams.

I quickly broke into a sprint, my feet not being able to carry me there fast enough, and when I saw what it looked like in the cellblock, I could've sworn my heart fell clean out of my chest. There were walkers everywhere surrounding the space, hearing others screaming at the top of their lungs while a few kids held onto each other for dear life.

I recognized Lizzy and Mika standing the closest to me, a walker was about to attack them as they screamed and gripped onto each other tightly. I quickly threw my knife into the walker's skull and it fell down in an instant, their heads whipping toward me the second they saw it go down.

My arm reached out as I pulled the two of them aside, "Are you bit?" I asked as my eyes scanned them.

They both shook their heads frantically and I had to act fast, "Go get anyone you can find, okay? Tell them what's happening. Hurry!" I yelled, pushing them to safety and they were off faster than I had ever seen them run.

I turned my attention back to the chaos in front of me and took down as many walkers as I could. Trying my best to get the kids around me to safety, telling them to stick together and run out the second they saw an opportunity. I couldn't believe the disaster that unfolded in just a matter of minutes it seemed like. So much death, so much destruction. And so, so much blood. A scene straight out of a horror movie.

My feet rushed up the stairs to the remaining cells and instantly spotted another walker trying to grab ahold of an older man, causing me to throw my knife at it in record speed before it got the chance. As it fell, he looked at me gratefully and I nodded at him in return, telling him frantically to get somewhere safe as I ushered him down the steps.

I looked back to my right to see a few kids crying in the cell, and I shut the door with a slam so they would have a little more protection from the walkers that still lingered in the area. I killed two more of them that were coming at me in the narrow walkway, and it was then and only then I heard heavy footsteps stomping inside the cellblock, my name being called out only seconds later.

Daryl and Rick both simultaneously yelled for me as they had barely passed through the entrance, "I'm here! Protect the others, I'm okay!" I yelled back as I stabbed another walker, the blood splattering all over the wall in front of me.

The screams never stopped, and the dead bodies only seemed to triple in the few minutes that passed by. I helped a few more kids down the stairs so they could make it out safely, and I double checked the cells around me to make sure there were no more dead ones that I had missed on the top floor. 

And while I didn't come across another, I found one of our people laying there lifeless in his bed, his stomach torn open to shreds. It was devastating, but I knew I couldn't let him turn, taking in a breath before leaning down to stab him in the head with a heavy heart. The noise outside only seemed to die down and all you could hear now was people catching their breaths as the remaining dead seemed to finally be taken care of.

My pace picked up again as I heard my name being called once more, rushing down the steps before I was instantly pulled aside by Daryl. "Ya okay? Are ya bit?" he asked frantically.

I took in a breath as I nodded, "I'm okay." I confirmed as he brought me into a tight hug.

I held onto him for a few moments, regaining my composure as I tried to steady my racing heart. Thinking back to how fast it all seemed to happen. My eyes then traveled towards Rick who approached the two of us, silently nodding to him to show him I was fine. He visibly sighed in relief and placed a hand on my shoulder as we looked around at all the dead bodies that filled cellblock D.

There was blood everywhere, coating the floors, the walls, similar to when we first had to clean this place up. People were crying from every corner of the room as they saw the amount of people we just lost, somehow the disaster only getting worse as they saw some of their family members get ripped apart right in front of them.

Eventually we managed to clear the entire place, making sure that all the people we found...didn't come back. It was hard looking at all the dead bodies that surrounded the floors and I felt myself frown when we found Patrick, the familiar face that I talked to only yesterday. I didn't know the kid that well, but it never ceased to amaze me how quickly someone can be taken away like its nothing.

It seemed as though the incident at the Big Spot only caused everything else to snowball into something much bigger.

Rick's voice then echoed around the space, calling the rest of us to the top floor as he was down on his knees, inspecting a body on the floor. We all gathered around the tight space quickly, looking down to see it was someone unrecognizable to me with blood coming out of their mouth and eyes. I cringed at the sight as Dr. S took a closer look at the body, getting down to its level to see what might've caused it.

"No bites, no wounds, I think he just died." Rick voiced out loud as he glanced over it for the final time.

"Horribly too," Dr. S stated, "Pleurisy aspiration."

I blinked a few times in confusion, "English please."

"Choked to death on his own blood." Hershel clarified from next to me.

I grimaced, "Jesus." 

"I've seen them before on a walker outside," Rick stated, "A few of them had the same thing when they were lined up along the fences."

"We saw 'em on Patrick too." Daryl said.

Dr. S sighed to himself as he sat up, "They're from the internal lung pressure building up...like if you shake a soda can and pop the top. Only imagine your eyes, ears, nose, and throat are the top."

"Is it a sickness from the walkers?" I asked.

He shook his head, "No, these things happened before they were around. Could be pneumococcal, most likely an aggressive flu strain."

"Someone locked him in just in time." Hershel said.

Daryl shook his head, "Nah man, Charlie used to sleepwalk, locked himself in. Hell, he was eatin barbecue yesterday. How can somebody die in a day just from a cold?"

"I had a sick pig, it died quick. Saw a sick boar in the woods." Rick said.

"Pigs and birds, that's how these things spread in the past. We need to do something about those hogs." Hershel said.

"Maybe we got lucky. Maybe these two cases are it." Dr. S spoke hopefully.

I tried not to roll my eyes, "Yeah, I wouldn't hold my breath." I muttered sarcastically.

"All of us in here, we've all been exposed." Hershel said sadly, slowly looking back towards me as if he could feel the worry already radiating off of me.

I cursed under my breath and had to step out of the cell, pulling my hair to the side as I began to do the one thing I shouldn't: Think. I wasn't worried about myself at all, that's not the reason I was suddenly overwhelmed. It was the fact that some of the people I cared about the absolute most had now been exposed to this. Were now at risk of catching it. I couldn't even fathom the idea of losing any of them right now.

"We should set up a council meeting to talk about this." Rick suggested, coming out with the others, "I'm gonna go talk to Carl first." he announced, and we all seemed to wordlessly nod in return.

Only about an hour passed as the news about what happened had spread fast, a couple of council members gathered around in the library, talking about the sudden new outbreak. What we planned to do next was still completely unknown to us, and the unknown was a terrifying place.

We didn't know anything. How fast the illness can spread, what would be the cure, how we could stop it from reaching anyone else, we truly didn't know a damn thing. Though something we were well aware of was how dangerous it could be, risking all of our lives in the process of trying to figure everything out.

My leg bounced anxiously under the table as I was sat between Daryl and Glenn, my mind racing as I thought about the potential outcome of this.

"Patrick was fine yesterday, and he died overnight. Two people died that quick? We'll have to separate everyone that's been exposed." Carol said.

"That's everyone in that cell block," Daryl stated, "That's all of us...maybe more."

Hershel took a breath, "We know that this sickness can be lethal, we don't know how easy it spreads. Is anyone else showing symptoms that we know of?"

Daryl's eyes glanced over at me, how easily he could tell I was spacing off with millions of thoughts running through my head. I then felt the warmth of his hand on my knee that was bouncing moments ago, stopping my movements before giving it a reassuring squeeze. This made me look up at him and all I saw was a small smile on his face, but it seemed forced, and I knew he was worried just as much as I was.

"We can't just wait and see, there's children. It isn't just the illness, people die, they become a threat." Carol with clear urgency.

The older man thought for a minute before saying, "We need a place for them to go, they can't stay in D. We can't risk going in there to clean it up."

I spoke up for the first time, "We can use cellblock A." I suggested.

"Death row? I'm not sure that's much of an upgrade." Glenn muttered.

"It's clean. That's an upgrade." Daryl defended, "Do ya think that'll work for Dr, S?" he asked Hershel.

He nodded, "I'll help Caleb get it set up there."

He looked like he was about to say more, but we all were stunned to silence when we heard some rough coughing coming from the hallway. Everyone's ears perked up and soon we all stood in the doorway with our heads poking out to see who it was. My face fell a little when I saw Ty and Karen making their way down the hall, Karen holding a tissue to her face as she continued to cough, not being able to catch her breath easily.

I heard Ty whisper, "You okay?" and she only nodded her head in response, before letting out another raspy cough.

I then stepped out with furrowed brows, "Are you sure? That doesn't sound too good."

Ty gave me a reassuring smile, "I'm just taking her back to my cell so she can rest, it's okay Rose."

"Tyreese, I don't think that's a good idea." Hershel spoke.

"Why, what's going on now?" Karen asked.

There was a beat of silence and no one really knew how to approach it. And at this point we were all standing in the hallway with them, our worried expressions now on full display. It was clear none of us wanted to be blunt, but we kind of had to for them to know how serious this was.

Glenn eventually bit the bullet, "We think it's a flu or something, it's how Patrick died." 

"Judith is in that cellblock, she's vulnerable. Anyone that may be sick, or even exposed should stay away." Hershel advised.

My heart dropped when I heard him say her name. I couldn't even think about her getting sick let alone losing her forever, the thought alone nearly killed me.

"It killed Patrick?" Karen asked worriedly.

"Hey, hey, it's going to be okay." Tyreese was quick to reassure her before turning back to us, "Now that we know what Patrick died from, we can treat it right?" 

"Don't panic, we're going to figure this out. But we should keep you separated in the meantime. We'll have Caleb take a look at you and I'll see what we have in the way of medications." Hershel said with a nod.

Karen thought for a moment before saying, "David from the Decatur group; he's been coughing too."

"I'll get him." Glenn offered before turning towards me, "There's some empty clean cells in the tunnels, right?" he asked.

"Yeah, there should be." I said absentmindedly.

He nodded, giving my arm a squeeze before walking down the hall to track David down and break the news to him. Sasha then got her brother's attention, offering to lead them into a cell where Karen could be looked at and they seemed to follow her there without hesitation.

"We'll have to call another meeting later like Rick wanted." Hershel said to the ones who remained.

I nodded at him, "Okay." I muttered.

He looked at me for a moment longer than usual before placing a comforting hand on my shoulder, "It'll be alright, dear." he whispered.

I sighed before placing my hand on top of his as I nodded, mustering the best smile I could right now before watching him walk away, leaving the three of us.

My eyes panned back up to notice Carol spacing off, "You okay?" I asked to get her attention.

"I'm worried about Lizzy and Mika...they were around Patrick." she said.

"We all were." Daryl stated, "But it'll be fine...Karen and David are gonna be separated till they feel better."

She nodded, "You're right. I'm gonna head out to check on them now." she said with a small smile before walking away just like the rest.

I leaned up against the wall across from him and sighed as my eyes fluttered closed. It seemed like we were finally getting our lives together, and now this illness was killing multiple people at a time in just a few hours. It practically tore everything down that we tried so hard to rebuild.

"Aye," Daryl's voice cut in, "What's goin on in that pretty head of yours?" he asked while stepping up to come closer to me.

I rolled my eyes slightly at the question, "You know what I'm thinking about, you can read me like a book...it's annoying."

He chuckled a little, "Yeah, I know...tell me anyway."

My hand reached up to pinch the bridge of my nose, "I'm just worried about everyone. All the people in that cellblock, the rest of us, the kids, Judith...you. I- I don't want to lose anyone else." I said sadly.

His expression morphed into concern as he walked closer to me and placed a hand on the side of my face, "Hey, it's gonna be alright. We're gonna get through this, we always do."

I nodded, "I know... it just sucks right now. You know, when we don't know shit about something and then some people have to die for us to eventually figure it out." He nodded in understanding. "Just...don't leave me, okay?" I said barely above a whisper.

I knew it sounded pathetic, and hell, maybe it was. But the last thing I wanted was to be alone right now. And the haunting feeling of losing him still lingered in the back of my mind.

He shook his head quickly, "Never." he promised before leaning in to kiss me gently.

I felt myself practically melt at the gesture as I allowed myself to have somewhat of a peaceful moment with him. A part of me felt bad that I needed his reassurance most of the time, but at the same time, I don't think he minded in the slightest. Clearly, he was in it for the long haul.

When we broke apart, he leaned down to rest his forehead against mine, "M' gonna start buryin our people."

I nodded slowly, "Okay. But where a mask, gloves...please stay safe."

"I will." he said as he rubbed his thumb along my bottom lip before kissing me briefly once more, then pulling away fully to head out and take care of everything.

I stood in that eerie hallway longer than I would ever like to admit, lost in my own thoughts with my arms wrapped around my middle. At this point, overthinking should become another one of my hobbies. I knew it was okay to worry, but I was going to start going bald soon if I kept my mind running constantly. At least that thought was enough to bring a small laugh out of me.

Eventually, I slowly made my way out of the hall and towards the cells where I knew Glenn was headed to. I stopped by and helped him clean out as many of them as possible just in case more people came in feeling sick suddenly. He accepted my help gratefully as he was nearly finished with the first one, both of us just needing something to do as somewhat of a distraction.

Though I noticed something small when the silence overcame us. We were changing some sheets on one of the mattresses when I noticed how he seemed to be breathing a bit heavier than before, trying to subtly wipe the sweat off of his forehead. No. No way.

"Hey, you okay?" I asked.

He looked up at me in slight surprise, like a deer in headlights almost. "Yeah?" he breathed, "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, all we're doing is changing some sheets, and you're acting as if you just ran a marathon." I pointed out.

He huffed out a small laugh, "I'm okay Ro, really." he said with a wave of his hand, turning his gaze back down to tuck in his end of the bedding.

Though I kept staring at him in concern, I wasn't convinced in the slightest and he noticed, "Seriously...I'm okay." he tried again.

Eventually, I gave in and nodded my head as we continued on. Maybe I was just reading too much into everyone's moves right now since the situation was so severe, but I didn't want to take any chances. However, I never missed out of the corner of my eye, I would catch him wiping more sweat off of his face and glance over to see if I noticed. I always did, but he never seemed to catch on.

Once the two of us finally finished cleaning up the cells, I informed him I was going to go outside and get some air. We had been in the stuffy small rooms for far too long and it felt like I couldn't breathe, especially now with all the sick people air floating around.

The moment I stepped outside, the sun shined brightly down on my face and a relieved smile crossed my features. My eyes automatically closed as I tried to focus on the vitamin D I was receiving, but when I opened them again, I looked around and saw everyone's depressed faces. It was so much quieter today than it has been in a very long time, leaving everyone's spirits a little more crushed. My smile faded once again, and I noticed some were crying at the loss of their loved ones this morning. Shit this was heartbreaking.

My gaze then traveled out onto the field to see Rick and Daryl having a seemingly serious conversation. Ricks hands being firmly planted on his hips were a dead giveaway. But I wanted to check on him, having not seen him since this morning and I knew he was on edge just like everyone else. Even though he was no longer the so called "leader" anymore, I knew a part of him still felt responsible for this sort of thing.

As I got closer and further into the grass, I still couldn't make out what they were saying, but once Rick heard my footsteps, he turned around to face me. I gave him a small smile as I opened my mouth to say something, but then stopped short once I saw Daryl had his bandana dropped below his chin as he continued to dig.

"Hey," I called out to him, watching as he turned to face me the moment he heard my voice. I made a motion like I was pulling the mask up and he got the hint, pulling the cloth back over his face. Annoyance was still brewing in me however as I felt I hadn't gotten my point across yet, walking closer to smack him on the back of the head.

"Ow," he muttered, "What was that for?" I could hear him ask, although it was muffled by the material in front of his mouth.

"You told me you were going to be safe, and I find you out here with the mask down as you're burying the bodies." I spoke

He rubbed the spot where I hit him, "I was talkin to Rick, woman." he said defensively.

I raised an eyebrow and gave him a pointed look, "Sorry." he muttered quickly as he ducked his head, turning back to continue digging.

"Mhm." I hummed before turning back to Rick, seeing his lips pressed together as he tried not to laugh at the two of us, to which I rolled my eyes. "How're you doing?"

"Worried." he said simply, his brow creasing as he spoke, "And...I don't know. I don't think I should have a call on making this decision." 

"Rick, you've earned it." 

Daryl suddenly whipped around and pointed towards me, "That's what I said." he spoke excitedly.

"Ah, great minds think alike." I smiled before looking back towards Rick, "But seriously, you have. I'm not saying you should take all that responsibility back on your own, but at least be a part of it. We still need you; you know?" I said, gently nudging his arm with mine.

He smiled small at my reassurance, though he still looked to be on the fence about everything as a whole. But he didn't have the chance to respond even if he wanted to, as the next thing that was heard was a panicked yell that belonged to Maggie.

"Guys!" she screamed to get our attention, pointing back to one of the fences that the walkers were piling up on. We all saw how it was about to fall over with the amount of them pushing on it, bending it over as they practically crawled on top of each other to try and make it on the other side.

"Son of a bitch." I cursed and wasted no time running towards the fence, the other two hot on my heels.

As we ran closer and closer, I grabbed one of the crowbars that were lined up with the other weapons for killing them, in case things went south. Maggie frantically told us that the various noise recently only drew them closer and now this part of the fence was going to give out in a matter of seconds. Glenn, Sasha, and Ty came running quickly after us the moment they saw what was going down, and we all together tried to pick them off.

I stabbed through their heads harshly, watching one by one as they fell to the ground, everyone else scattering around as they did the same. Daryl stood back slightly as he shot bolts through their heads, but it hardly looked like any of us were making any progress. There was too many of them for us to even begin to make a dent through.

All of a sudden Sasha called out, "Are you seeing this?" causing us all to stop momentarily to see what she was talking about.

I stood on one side of her, and my mouth fell open at the amount of dead rats that were left by part of the fence. They all were missing heads as the rest of their bodies were still intact which confused me yet made me sick at the same time. That alone explained how the walker build-up happened all at once and so fast, the hunger they felt overtaking them as they smelled the fresh blood.

"Is someone feeding these things?" she asked.

"I don't know." I muttered with widened eyes.

The fence then suddenly started squeaking more as they shoved their way though, "Heads up!" Daryl yelled as he watched from a distance.

We all quickly went back to our spots to take each of them out once more, but far too many of them began using all their weight on it as it was leaning further into us. At this rate it was going to give out with the number of dead ones surrounding it. We stopped trying to kill them once the realization hit all of us, beginning to push the fence back all together so it wouldn't completely collapse. We weren't successful however, and they were still too strong.

"Back up, back up! It's coming down!" Daryl yelled as he quickly yanked me back to where he was standing, the rest jumping back in shock.

"The fence keeps bending in like that, those walkers are coming over it." Sasha said frantically.

Rick's eyes darted around as his mind continued to spiral, though suddenly, a lightbulb appeared on top of his head. He called for Daryl, nodding for him to follow as he rushed back towards the entrance as I hoped he had some kind of plan. The rest of us were left to fight them off until the last possible second. 

Sweat pooled on my skin and my muscles ached as I held up a part of the fence while Maggie killed the ones off right next to my head. I felt my arms begin to shake as my body grew far more tired than I wanted it to, gritting my teeth together as I planted my feet down in attempts to steady myself. But the weight suddenly seemed to subside a bit, looking over to see Tyreese on my right, helping me hold up my end as he clearly saw me struggling. He gave me a small smile in the process, causing me to look over at him with nothing but gratitude.

My head then lifted as I watched a familiar truck peel out of the front gates, Rick sitting in the bed of it while Daryl drove like a bat out of hell towards us. The vehicle then came to a sudden stop a good distance away from the fence, watching closely as Rick visibly hesitated as the walkers began to take notice of them from just behind their heads. The man then snapped out of it and took one of the pigs in his hold, slicing part of its leg so it couldn't run before dropping it down on the grass for the walkers.

I cringed at the squealing sounds that the animal was making, but we all knew that it had to be done, and it looked to be working. He repeated this motion until the many walkers made their way further and further from the fence, watching as it slowly rose back up once their attention was diverted away from us.

We were now able to put back the wooden planks to prop the fence back up to a level height, leaving it almost completely bent it half after the damage the dead ones did. I stopped to take a breath once I saw we had moved it up enough, my eyes panning back over to see Rick cutting the last pig he had before dropping it, and even I could tell from this far away, it hurt him just as much as the rest of us.

Stepping slightly away from the whole scene, I saw Maggie staring at the squealing animal with sadness behind her eyes, nearly crying as the sounds intensified. 

"Come on." I spoke to grab her attention, gesturing for her to follow me.

She nodded and wrapped an arm around my shoulders so we could walk back up to the prison together, trying to just get through the rest of this long day.

~ Thanks for reading!

Taglist - @justareader95 @hayley1998 @ryoujoking @sipsthecoffee @winterassassin1804 @marsmallow433 @catlalice @writingstreetspirit

[ask-the-skirtz]

I just realized Rachel is related to Richard, is she his daughter or niece?

What is their relationship?

"Richard...? Oh! You mean Rick! Sorry, haven't heard anyone call him Richard in so long-"

"Actually pretty flattered by the fact you think i'm Rick's daughter, hehe- He's my older brother! He moved out a couple years ago."

"Uhm... We're pretty close! At least, I hope... he's not exactly the easiest guy ever to read. He's been...going through something for the last... Five years or so, I think. I'm... not sure how to help him, but I do care about him a lot! And I like to believe he cares for me just the same, even if he struggles to show it!"

"He may be cold, but he does a bunch of nice things for me! He checks on me regularly, and he's been wanting me to move in with him, since the relationship we have with our mom is-... A little complicated, let's just say."

"...I could never do that, though. I know he's been hopping from job to job, and he's been struggling with his mental health too, and I don't want him to have me to take care of on top of all that. That'd be just cruel on my part."

"I'm a good sister, I won't bother him. I can just hold on til i'm old enough to move out myself. I'll be okay."

[graysparrowao3]

Heyyooo!

I'm popping in cause i just wanted to let you i really love your stuff and miss seeing you on my dash.(why tumble timeout??) I'm sorry someone felt the need to come at you with unkindness but i bet there's a lot more people who LOVE seeing you roll across their timeline (self included). I love your writing, its super sweet and i adore how you present the characters. I do hope that person didn't dampen your spirits too much, You're a gem!

Helloooo! 💛 This was such a kind thing that you took the time to say, thank you so much. It really, really lifted my spirits and to hear that you enjoy my presence and writing is so touching (and especially as I absolutely adore all your content and posts too!). You're absolute royalty. I'm so glad to actually be able to be back in your presence and respond to you now as well!

I don't know if you remember this post, but in celebration of being freed from Tumblr jail and in gratitude for your kind words, I finally wrote you something based on this prompt. It's just a series of three short scenes but I hope you like it! I'll put it below a cut.

Summary for bonus part 4 of the Rolan, Cal, and Lia sneaking in and out for dates series: Cal and Lia are sneaking around trying to hide their romance liaisons from Rolan, who, unbeknownst to his siblings, already knows about them both...

Words: 1,174

Cal gathered up the usual stack of envelopes, scrolls, and a copy of the latest Baldur’s Mouth that filled the postbox and began to sort through them as he sauntered into the kitchen where his family was seated.  

“For the owner of Ramazith’s Tower.” Cal handed an unusual, sealed paper over, then dropped the rest of the assorted junk onto the middle of the table.

Rolan tucked the envelope quickly away.

“Love letter?” Lia teased.

“Not that it would be your business if it was.” Rolan returned the light-hearted tone.

“Just joking,” Lia leaned casually on her shoulders, “but now I’m interested.”

“Never you mind.” Rolan waved her away, taking another bite to break his fast.

“Not that you have to tell us,” Cal settled back onto the table and flipped idly through the Gazette without reading it, “but it would be nice if you found someone.”

“I’m sure it would,” Rolan mumbled, “alas, your curiosity will remain unsatisfied. I promise it is not about my personal affairs.”

“If you say so,” Cal was already distracted by one of the illustrations, dropping crumbs onto the page as he chewed. “Weird thing the other day. Could’ve sworn I was being followed.”

“How’d you figure?” Lia’s brow creased with concern as she placed her drink down.

“Pass that here,” Rolan ignored the conversation and gestured for Cal to hand him the newspaper.

“Not sure exactly. Might’ve been imagining it.” Cal grimaced as he tried to recall, “was probably nothing.”

“Worth checking, though,” his sister insisted.

“I’m sure you’re making a mountain out of a molehill.” Rolan glanced briefly over the top of the page.

“Yeah,” he shrugged, “you’re probably right.”

“Rolan,” Lia pulled down the top of the paper in front of him, “think it’s worth a check – to be sure.”

He opened his mouth, then scoffed, reluctantly agreeing,

“Fine, fine, I’ll check up on it today. I’ve got more than a few favours I can call in. I’ll keep us quite safe, fear not,” he folded the newspaper and tucked it under his arm.

“Thank you, Rolan.”

When they were done and the crumbs cleared and the plates cleaned, Rolan restrained his interest long enough to nonchalantly stroll to his office. Once inside, he quickly applied an Arcane Lock to the door and hurried to the desk, eagerly taking out the envelope and opening it with rushed hands. The letter unfolded, finally the favour he’d called in had paid off. He huffed as he read – they could’ve been a little more subtle about it, at least; he wasn't supposed to have been aware of them.

Archmage Rolan – as you wished, please find below the following information regarding the individual that has been seen in the company of your brother. Stand up member of society, as far as I can tell. Boring, honestly. And not that you asked my opinion, but they did seem rather happy in each other’s presence. It was sickening.

No, I didn’t ask, Rolan thought, but he couldn’t help but smile.

Rolan sat, legs and arms crossed. Eyelids falling gently shut before he commanded them to remain open. It would be morning soon. Lia should have been back long ago. His foot tapped restlessly against the floor. Then… a sound. He leant forward in the chair, ears willing it louder. Two sets of poorly concealed footsteps lazily approaching the door outside. He exhaled. At least she was alright. A click in the lock and the door creaked open. With a quick flick of his wrist, Rolan shrouded himself in Invisibility.

An uncharacteristic giggle followed by a soft gasp of excitement. His sister stepped backwards across the threshold,

“Shh,” Lia pressing her finger delicately against her partner’s lips, “lest my brothers hear.”

Rolan raised an eyebrow.

Lia fell back in, replacing her finger with her own lips. She pulled them in close, willing them to step into the tower with her body, hands in their hair. They obliged, their hands on her, searching the edges of her corset, exploring the material tight against her sides, sitting on her hips, teasing at her waist.

Oh, Gods, no. Absolutely not.

A sudden sound caused Lia to pull away. She turned to see a heavy tome that had slammed onto the ground nearby. She crept over and looked around, finding no obvious place where it could have fallen from or been dislodged.

“Tower is Gods damned cursed.” She muttered. She returned to her lover at the door, lacing her arms around their shoulders and pulling them in for a passionate goodbye. Rolan rolled his eyes and shuffled away, grateful to find his bed.

Rolan was enjoying a glass of his favourite red and warming himself by the fireplace after a long day. Long, but rewarding. Honestly, he couldn’t have imagined better, more fulfilling days. He heard the comforting noise of two tieflings moving into the room to join him before the night called to them all.

“I thought we might,” Rolan gestured lazily with his glass, “spend some time together tomorrow evening. Games, drinks, what have you.”

“Tomorrow?” Lia stopped before she made it to a chair, her question tenser than it ought to have been.

“Does it have to be tomorrow, Rolan?” Cal exchanged an uneasy look with her.

“I suppose not, though,” Rolan took a sip of his wine and smiled indulgently into the glass; he’d let them sweat just a little, “what’s the problem with tomorrow?”

“Just…” Cal stumbled, “something else might come up.”

“Might it,” Rolan raised an amused eyebrow.

“I just mean, there was something going on, maybe. I’m not sure. Better to be free for it than not.”

“Is that so,” he took another sip, enjoying himself immensely.

“All got our secrets,” Lia crossed her arms defiantly, “don’t ask you about yours.”

“I think you’ll find you do,” Rolan waved his goblet, “all the Gods damned time, actually.”

“Fine, have it your way.” Lia said, wishing she didn’t sound as disappointed as she did.

“No, no, by all means, do have your mysterious plans tomorrow. I’m sure I’ll figure it out sooner rather than later.”

“Don’t know about that,” Cal relaxed.

“You are many things, dear brother, but a master detective is not one.”

“Is that so?” Rolan’s smug smile loosened by the wine.

“Not saying you’re not good at other things,” Cal added, quickly.

“Just that you’re not always the most insightful. That can’t be news to you.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Rolan swirled the claret liquid around the class, “I might have picked up a thing or two over the years.”

“Go on then,” Cal tempted him, “if we’re hiding something, what is it?”

“Let me guess,” Rolan feigned ignorance, “a friend I might disapprove of – someone from the guild, perhaps? Or perhaps an unwise game of chance in someone’s basement somewhere.”

Cal and Lia shared a cheeky look.

“Yeah,” they settled into the chairs beside him, “something like that.”

“You see,” he relaxed back, a smile of contentment on his face, “I’m sure I wouldn’t have a clue.”

[whatevertheweather]

Well, hello again.

It's been a very busy month, and I have roughly nothing left in my head, but it's Wednesday okay, and that's finally aligning with a day I ended up driving home thinking I want to do a wip post okay. So first, thank you to everyone still commenting on Musical Chairs, and I'm sorry to anyone who's been hoping I can get the last chapter out in a timely manner. I can't, obviously, but as a sad offering in that chapter's stead, I have here An Ode to How Soundly Musical Chairs Is Kicking My Ass.

This is a multimedia presentation. In this essay I will-

I don't have a posting goal anymore. As soon as possible is a moving target. But I do have two deleted scenes, and here's one.

“Stupidity has no bearing on whether or not I hate something,” Baz said. “No? The two’ve always struck me as pretty intertwined,” Niamh said, picking up her drink. And then, like it was a completely separate observation, “I’ve noticed you seem to hate a lot of things.”

I also have 44 pages at the top of my Miscellany document that contain nothing but snippets for musical chairs, and scenes cut from musical chairs, and scenes rewritten for musical chairs, and checklists made for musical chairs, and all caps yelling for musical chairs, and-

Featuring such goodies as:

And:

So in theory. And I hate this because I’D HAVE TO REWRITE AGAIN but in theory.

And:

[HEY MAYBE JUST FULLY FUCKING SWITCH TRAJECTORY AND GO] “[Redacted].” Baz raised an eyebrow. “[Also redacted].” [FUCK BUT ACTUALLY. IT’S WEIRD AT THIS POINT. AFTER HE’S ALREADY PUSHED THIS MUCH. FUCK. YES OKAY MOVE IT UP TO COULD HAVE HAD SOME FUN. SIMON JUST PIVOTS FROM COMMITTING TO THAT/MAKING BAZ MAKE HIM COMMIT TO THAT BY SAYING HE DOES ACTUALLY HAVE SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT. AND THE SCENE WILL DEFINITELY AND FOR SURE WORK THIS TIME AMEN.]

It's possible these latest two yellings are leading me in the right direction, but I don't know yet, because I made those notes and then dusted off my hands and ran walked away for a month. We'll see. I've at least started thinking about it again. (The trick is apparently pacing small circles around your enclosure while you're on hold with customer support for an hour.)

Here's that other deleted scene, as a treat. It was a treat for me, anyway, because I don't remember writing it.

“Despite our best efforts,” Agatha muttered, and everyone looked at her. She raised her eyebrows. “She started it. I was out for a week because of her.” “You gave Agatha a concussion?” Baz smirked as Simon said, “You’ve had a concussion?” “Yes,” Niamh answered, and Simon added, “That explains it.” Agatha turned from whatever she’d been about to say, replacing it with, “Explains what?” Simon gave a sad little hum and nudged her chin. “Why you don’t even know what it explains.”

By the way, the actual final chapter is 45 pages at present. One (1) page deeper than the burial ground for its failures. Though the burial ground has a lot of gaps between graves. That probably adds a few pages.

Anyhow, I do sincerely hope y'all will be able to read it before another 7 months have passed. I'll do my best. In the meantime, thank you to everyone who's still tagging me in things, and I'm sorry I disappear a lot and don't shower y'all with the love you deserve for it <3

Here's an incomplete mess of tags, because I do need to go do many other less fun things now.

@fatalfangirl @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @moodandmist @cutestkilla @whogaveyoupermission @aristocratic-otter @alexalexinii @iamamythologicalcreature @facewithoutheart @bookish-bogwitch @artsyunderstudy @ileadacharmedlife @ivelovedhimthroughworse @run-for-chamo-miles @rimeswithpurple @thewholelemon @forabeatofadrum @monbons

[llycaons]

it would be a little far to say last week traumatized me but the lady I was shadowing was so rude and mean and dismissive and unsupportive on tuesday and the incident on thursday was so embarrassing and scary that I’m having a real time of it going through my notes. I feel like such a disaster and I’m really hoping I can actually do something well this coming week

[mitamicah]

Not me brainstorming ideas for my post op tattoo (context) like I'd contact the tattoo artist tomorrow and not in a 1,5 year or more

This was where my inspiration took me today I guess :'D

[b4kuch1n]

fuck it sk8 sketches from da sketchbook. get sk8ed idiot

[deeva-arud]

Boo!

I'm the paranormal activity on your dash :]

[thenwethrowitonthefire]

Shout-out to everyone who survived a "fun" easter with the family

[dandyshucks]

everyone pray for me that i did not just give myself food poisoning (;･∀･)

[jamboreeartsupplies]

clown doll listings are unexpectedly abundant on mercari lmao

also i kept getting an offer for one (with the same like, maker/brand as acorn anne and fruitloop freddie) and each time it got lower and this time i just HAD to omg i HAD TO!!!!!!!!

they have no hair !!!! they have a JESTERS HAT and they are YELLOW AND PURPLE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH i love clowns i am having a time. i love collecting things and these ones are like. gotta collect em all!! ahsnghdhtjd they are so CUTE ok!!!!

im so excited