#and I haven’t gotten a tattoo since April

[gayhoediaz]

omg if we got matching buddie tats 😼😼😼 (i haven’t had a tat in almost a year i’m getting the itch back)

sksjdksj pls omg i would love that. i haven’t gotten a tattoo since like april 2021 i need one so badly 😩

[purplesurveys]

1548

1. How many beings live in your house? That would be 7 in total – 5 humans, 2 dogs.

2. Last board game you played? I rarely play board games and can’t even remember the last time I played one.

3. Last card game you played? It was just the These Cards Will Get You Drunk game, which barely counts as a card game per se.

4. Last thing you ate and when? I have a macaroni salad that I’ve actually had beside me for hours but I’ve barely gotten a spoonful from because my lunch was so, so heavy. I’m starting to take bites from it now though.

5. Last thing you got for free? We had a company party last Friday and we were all given these food stubs that let us redeem a bunch of food. I didn’t like lining up multiple times though so the only meals I got were sisig tacos and quesadillas. And two glasses of margarita, haha.

6. What colours are you wearing? I have on a grey dress with black and white edges. I wore this when I headed out briefly today and just never changed out of it.

7. What is the last wild animal you remember seeing? Just birds. I don’t get to see a variety of wild animals where I live.

8. How much debt do you have? The only thing I owe is the rest of the payment for my phone since I used my dad’s card to buy it. I pay him every two weeks and I’ll be done with the installments by March.

9. Last song you listened to? Rush Hour by Crush and J-Hope.

10. Where do you rank on the age scale in your house? I’m right in the middle since I’ve got both my parents and then behind me are my two younger siblings.

11. How long have you been tattooed? If you’re not, do you want to get tattooed? I’ve never gotten a tattoo and I’m still not sure whether I want to have one done or not, hahaha. Needles are freaky.

12. What is your belt like? I never wear belts.

13. Last Anniversary you went to? My parents had their 25th wedding anniversary last April and dad surprised my mom with this lovely little Swiss dinner with extended family.

14. Last baby shower? I’ve never been to a baby shower since no one close to me has gotten pregnant yet. This kind of party was also never really popular here until super recently.

15. Last wedding? I also haven’t been invited to a wedding since my aunt and uncle’s back in ‘07. Just waiting for my friends to get married but then again most of us are still single HAHAHA, so I’m really just counting on Angela and Hans because out of everyone I know their wedding is the only one that’s pretty much in the bag.

16. Last funeral? Technically I watched the Queen’s last week lol, but I’ve never actually been to a funeral ceremony. Only wakes and the last one I attended was Nacho’s.

17. What is your mother’s name? Abby.

18. What is your band’s name? Or fantasy band ;)? I’ve never been in a band and have never really thought of a possible band name.

19. How many different strip clubs have you been to? None. I really should try that out at least once just to say that I’ve done it.

20. Ever had a threesome? No.

21. Ever fucked a mother? Nope.

22. Do you have any nieces/nephews? I don’t. I do have a godson, who is also one of my cousins but eh that doesn’t count.

23. Don’t you just love sparkles? I do like sparkly stuff, yeah. My phone case is particularly really sparkly haha.

24. And candles? I like them, yeah, but I’m not obsessed. Most of them are quite expensive and so they don’t usually fit in my priorities. All of the candles I’ve ever used up have been gifts.

25. And chocolate? Chocolate itself is a little blah to me - like Hershey’s bars, truffles, etc. Too sweet. I much prefer chocolate-flavored snacks, like pretzels or cupcakes.

26. How is your hair looking today? It’s fine. I could wash it right now but I also could opt not to.

27. Last time you took a nap? Yesterday afternoon.

28. Last personal unnecessary purchase? This promo from Auntie Anne’s that let me get one big pretzel stick, a pack of tinier pretzel sticks, and a pretzel. I say it’s unnecessary because I would’ve been fine getting just one of these things, but I bought on a hungry stomach and ended up buying a whole set lmao.

29. On which day does / did your birthday fall this year? Thursday. I remember this because I took the opportunity to file a birthday leave then filed a regular leave for that following Friday so I can get a 4-day leave.

30. Can you whistle? I can indeed. 31. Can you type fast? Sure.

32. How old are your parents? Both of them turned 51 this year.

33. Are they nice? Sure.

34. How many schools did / have you go(ne) to? Two. One school from kinder through high school; then I attended a different school for college.

35. What is your Instagram? I have one but I won’t share my username.

36. Can you touch your toes? Not if my legs are like entirely upright and straight; I only can when I put my legs apart.

37. Did you have your morning tea/coffee? I did, but I’m feeling like having another cup...I’ll probably make one after this.

38. Last time you got laid? Sometime two years ago.

39. How old are you? 24.

40. What is your gender? Female.

41. What is your sexuality? Asexual.

42. What is your ethnicity? Filipino/brown.

43. Cars or trucks? Uh cars, I guess. I’ve never been around trucks much.

44. Cats or dogs? Dogs.

45. Name one trait you inherited from each of your grandparents? Admittedly I don’t know much about my paternal grandparents even though both of them are still very much alive and kicking; we’ve always lived physically far from each other, so there haven’t been lots of chances to bond. With my maternal grandma, I definitely got my initial shyness from her. Then with my maternal grandpa I got his penchant for alcohol l o l but also his deep fascination with history and trivia.

46. Are you more likely to dance or sing? Sing.

47. Who is your youngest relative? I think right now that would be my second cousins Jethro and Nico. I’m not sure what their ages are but I’m gonna take a guess and say either 4 or 5.

48. How many bank accounts do you have? One.

49. What kind of cheese is in the fridge? Whatever Eden is, haha.

50. How long have you been with your partner? Or how long have you been single? I’ve been single for two years. 

[ahmumbles]

Check-in from Nam

Hey, it’s me. Or you. We both know who this is.

It’s been a while... it’s been a long, long while since I’ve spoken to you like this. I used to write so much in Barcelona, especially in the beginning years, and now it’s been several years since then, since I’ve gotten lost in life’s tornado and haven’t been able to keep up with myself. Sometimes enjoying and just being, sometimes so swept away with to-do lists and organizing and endless bullet points in my notes app- organizing, decluttering, rearranging, figuring out, settling down, getting back up, moving, wondering, thinking, sighing, zoning out

Today it is April 11, 2023. 

I am currently in Hanoi, Vietnam. It’s been about 8 months since I’ve moved here. 

26 was a year of Atlanta (and working at my parent’s place and struggling with old, way-too-familiar family pains, hating working, seeing old faces, being home) with a gap in Europe (revisiting my second home of Barcelona, housesitting with Tom in stunning Lake Como, celebrating Claire’s birthday in Bosnia, staying at Laurine’s in London and Steph visiting, a wild Berlin adventure with the boys).

27 was moving with hopes, curiosity, culture shock, learning, absorbing, and loneliness. So much, so much loneliness. Feeling like 22 again when I first moved to Barcelona. Without the escape of a beach, without the freedom of breezy night walks, without sun-kissed smiling beautiful people everywhere, without looking up at the architecture in awe, without the bustling youth and energy. Hanoi has been quite the experience. I’ve undoubtedly learned so many new things- how to ride a motorbike, living by myself for the first time, teaching at a public school, Vietnamese culture, breaking out for the first time in my life, the effects of pollution, realizing that the glitz n glamour of a developing country is not what I had imagined. In many ways, it has drained me. But in other ways, it has solidified for me what I want, like, tolerate, and anticipate. The people I want to be around. The environments I feel comfortable in. Boundaries. Self-awareness. It has taught me a lot in those fields. I feel... older. I really do. I feel (and look) like I’m in my late 20s. Like all those years of reckless behavior and confused thoughts, although still not completely gone, have definitely subsided as I’ve gotten to understand myself better.

My energy has calmed down a lot. I no longer, truly no longer, have the energy to put up with many new faces. New personalities and same conversations about useless shit I don’t give a fuck about. And although I am leaving, I’m glad that I’ve given this place a try. I now realize that I should visit a city before packing up all my shit and moving there (ha). I also realize that at this moment in my life, in my final 20s, I don’t want to struggle anymore. I do eventually want to settle, and so during these final years, I want to cherish my life in places that inspire me, motivate me, and keep me evolving in the most positive way. I don’t have the time nor the patience to ‘just go along with it a bit more’ or ‘see where it goes’. I feel a lot more confident in decision-making, something that I so lacked in my earlier years. I’m glad I can say this about myself, because I don’t think I could’ve just a few years back.

Although I am realizing there are some things I do genuinely enjoy: skating on a smooth wide ground, making ceramics n all the endless ideas of trinkets for home decor, tattooing a sick design I really love, a fucking good book I can’t put down, a movie that slams your heart, actually good clean coffee, going to the cinema alone with butter popcorn, traveling to a new city (alone or with someone I love), seeing landscapes that make me feel so small and insignificant,

I haven’t had the.., no I’ve had the time, just not the motivation to really pursue these loves of mine this (almost) past year (or more). I think because I’ve decided that this place isn’t for me, I’ve kind of just given up on doing anything about it until I leave. Sometimes I wonder if Haerin is right, if I just keep running away from things, or, on the flip-side, I just chase what I want and won’t put up with something I no longer care for.

Some things on my mind though, that’s actually what prompted me to start this post, are the following:

- I am, and have always been, so good at being alone. Being alone, doing nothing. Lockdown in 2020 obviously came with its difficulties, but it was also one of the only times in my entire life that I was able to be still. And I love being still. Just like in Lake Como. I need these moments of just being still, not thinking, not watching anything, not even sleeping, just moments to be blank and I feel those moments recharge me more than any activity ever could.

- I am also still my own torturer. I love hating myself. I love criticizing myself. And I still love overthinking things. To be fair, I have numbed out a lot, maybe since I moved to Hanoi, but I still get these waves of emptiness and sadness, with such intensity, but it doesn’t even bother me anymore. I’ve realized that that side of me is just part of me, and I’m working on not getting rid it, but of accepting it and learning how to work with it. I think that breakdown on shrooms when I had Covid in Atlanta after Cancun in August 2022 was what I needed for a very long time. I cried more than I had in many years combined. Rivers of sadness, mostly stemming from my family, mostly about my brother, just pouring out of me, shriveling me up. I needed that. It broke me.

- I’m learning about love. Aran was my first boyfriend, my first everything, the one who spoiled me silly and made me feel butterflies and a perfect introduction to relationships as I started my 20s. Ferran was my bridge between being a young girl to a maturing woman and my best friend, made me laugh more than anyone, especially in the beginning, but also showed me what I don’t want in any future relationships, especially towards the end. Tom was the unexpected curveball that’s taught me the messiness of ‘relationships’, non-labeling labels, a comfort space that I pried open and snuggled myself into, the calm, level-headed situationship that I started to feel myself maturing in and making me question what it is I want in love and who I want to love and how I can love someone the best I can. A rooted yet emotional person that’s taught me about communication which has been one of my biggest downfalls throughout my entire life.

- I don’t know where I am at life at the moment. I’m 27, 28 in a few months, and although I’ve been enjoying that each year in my 20s have counted for something and that age is just a number, especially nowadays, for some reason 30 still scares the absolute shit out of me. It looks old. It sounds old. It feels heavy. I’m not ready to approach it. I feel a giant weight that I need to start providing for my parents soon, finally, after all their years of slaving away. I want to help my mom, so much, it feels like my heart is physically breaking when I think about her aging and still working and her body breaking down and me being across the country. Their house got broken into recently and they took all her bags, cash, gold, and most importantly- the hand-me-down jewelry she’s been saving to give to me since I was young. Always reminding me that she’ll give me this necklace and this pair of earrings in a few years. Just a bit more. And some bastards took all of that away from a woman that never splurged on herself. That never cared for herself the way she’s always deserved to be cared for, since her birth.

- I don’t know how I’m going to provide for my parents. I don’t know how I’m going to buy a house, buy furniture, buy kitchen appliances, buy a car or bike, grow my savings, start a retirement fund, or any of that adult shit when I don’t even know if I want to be a teacher anymore. I’ve been so drained with teaching, especially after a long-break of working at my parent’s place in between, and the middle schoolers in Hanoi have been a nightmare for me. Enough to make me start to hate teaching. To feel like it’s useless. I don’t feel respected, I don’t feel inspired, I don’t feel patient, loving, empathetic, accepting, or any of those magical emotions that I felt before and thought I’d always feel when it came to teaching. This might be the first time in my life since I was young that I’ve really started to question my career choice. And it’s not good for someone like me who has always prided herself in being rock-solid in this aspect of my life.

- I’m definitely coming to deeper terms with what friendship means to me. My Atlanta girls are still and probably, hopefully, will always be my roots. Haerin, Stephanie, Chanell, Julie. Even Jaehee and Christine and Joanna. My Barcelona friends have definitely floated away a bit- Jess, Claire, Leo, Dan, Laurine, Liam, but they still hold a special place in my heart and I know we will always cherish each other whenever we do reunite. But I’m realizing that these friends I have, they’re enough. I don’t really want anymore. I don’t want to go through the hassle of making new friends in each new city I move to, but I know that I have to, because I am still human. And as stubborn and detached as I can be, I know that sometimes loneliness aches me to the core and I lose sight of joy, laughter, acceptance, and a feeling of warmth.

- I hope Japan works out, and I don’t expect that my life will drastically change where I’m all of a sudden happy and full of spirit. But I hope that I am inspired in a bigger city, that even if I am alone, at least I am in the #1 country that sees beauty in being alone, and I know that I will evolve even more there. In its own inevitable way.

These are a few things that’s been on my mind, in the most condensed way possible. Skipping so many single moments that have weighed heavy on me up to this point. But I guess that’s life. Every day, every moment, may feel so big, but time never stops, and eventually it’s been a week, then two, then a few months, and when you look back, some of those moments are just flashbacks in your mind, and you forget. You block it out. Your other moments over power those moments.

Well Ange, I want you to know that the Ange right now, in this moment, is feeling lonely. Feeling sad about Tom. Feeling disheartened with teaching. Feeling sorry for myself. But also in its own way, enjoying this time alone. She’s feeling confused. She’s continuing with her weekly lists, finishing them one by one, making new ones, never-ending hamster ball of her brain... feeling like having control of the little things in her life will make her feel like life is okay. And I’m not so sure it is.

[fu-yao]

@mdzsnet get to know our members event

↬ the most un-lan to ever lan

ru – ‘98 liner – western european – lan jingyi enthusiast

i first got introduced to mdzs when netflix asked me if i wanted to watch a historical chinese drama about two swordfighting gays, and ever since it’s been a wild ride. it took me about a month to finish cql and then i immediately started reading the novel, which i finished just three days before new years. i couldn’t stop thinking about mdzs and eventually i caved and made my mdzs sideblog (under the url lanzhanis) in february of 2020. this was a month or so after i first picked up giffing and i didn’t really start giffing for cql until april as i was primarily focused on making kpop gifs on my main blog. but there wasn’t a lot of cql content on my dashboard and i wanted to change that. i initially searched for a mdzs related network but i couldn’t find anything so eventually i said fuck it and started mdzsnet on april 13th, 2020. through the network i have met an abundance of wonderful people, especially my two co-admins hope and hanyi. running the network has been a comforting constant in my life and it gives me great joy to see so many people started connecting with each other because of it.

other danmeis i have read include tgcf (my url is based on a popular side ship from this novel), svsss, 2ha, tbc, and fake slackers. there’s a lot of danmeis on my to read list (spl, golden stage, modu, yuwu, tattoo, guardian, etc.) and i’m currently reading guide at how to fail at online dating!

outside of danmei i am also a kpop and anime fan. my ult kpop group is stray kids and my ult bias is lee know, if you’re interested you can catch me screaming about them 24/7 over at @minhho. as for anime, you can find me over at @nangojo. some of my all time favorite animes include sk8, jjk, given, yoi, banana fish, and aot.

you can check out my carrd or find me on twitter. i also (try to) write fics on archiveofourown! (i have a lot of fengqing and some wangxian fics in my drafts but i haven’t gotten around to finishing any of them)

fun facts

i am trying to drag my three irl friends who are all kpop stans into the danmei hellhole but so far i have not yet succeeded (one day i will)

i decided to rewatch cql when i saw a girl with a wangxian totebag at a day6 concert and it blew my mind

i have a fic recs page on which there’s currently 39 wangxian fics which you all should read

the reason i chose lan jingyi for this introduction post is not only because he’s my favorite mdzs character, but because i feel like i found my family on here just like lan jingyi did with the other juniors and the twin jades

i chose a rainbow flag color layout because as a pan-ace i’m part of the lgbtq+ community and i have a strong feeling our dear boy lan jingyi is as well

[lovelyyy-luna]

misery and bliss

fandom: euphoria

fic summary: Y/N escapes and makes her way to her aunts and cousin’s home in East Highland. Everything finally becomes semi-normal again but will her past follow her?

chapter summary: Y/N escapes to East Highland and makes breakfast for her family.

pronouns: she/her

warning: mentions of fighting and abuse

word count: 917

date: april 4, 2022

PART 1 | PART 2 |

masterlist

You have left your shitty life and are finally moving on. You didn’t have any family in your immediate area so you had to drive. It wasn’t a long drive but still a drive.

You weren’t sure if your aunt or your cousins would take you back. The person you were when you were with your ex was in all honesty a cunt.

Your phone had died during the second hour and saw a payphone off the side of the highway. You stepped out and put some quarters in it. 

The line rang and rang, it felt like forever, and then she picked up, “Hello?”

“Auntie? Auntie, it’s me Y/N,” you say and you can feel yourself working up a sob but contain it.

“Oh Y/N sweet girl. Are you okay? We haven’t heard from you in a long time. Where are you?”

“I'm doing okay. I’m, uh, on the side of the road calling from a payphone. I was just wondering if, um, maybe I can stay with you for a little just a couple of weeks till I get back on my feet?”

“Oh of course baby, where are you right now?”

“I'm in Valley Heights.”

“That’s only two hours away. Just come straight here okay? We’ll see you in a little.”

“Okay. Thank you, auntie, love you.”

“Love you too baby.”

You hung up and were just overcome with emotion. You couldn’t believe that she said yes. The way you acted towards her the last time, you thought for sure that if she heard from you again she would block you out.

You got back in the car and just drove. You got to East Highland around 10 pm. 

You turned the car off and took a deep breath. You grabbed your small bag and went to the front door and rang the bell.

Within seconds Gia opened the door, “Y/N! You’re here!” she leaped into a hug.

“Yeah I'm here,” you grunted picking her up, “you’ve gotten so big.”

In the back, you see Rue, the last time you saw her it was bad. So bad you both ended up with bloody noses.

She smiled at you and opened her arms for you. You embraced her and everything was like it used to be.

You saw your aunt and hugged her, she held you tight and wouldn’t let you go.

When she finally did, she fixed you something to eat and you all were talking small, they didn’t want to pry about what had happened and you were too embarrassed and overall tired to talk about it.

When you were done your aunt and Gia went to bed, Rue helped you set up in her room. 

You both hadn’t shared a bed since you were around 10.

You got undressed and went into bed. She laid next to you. It was the first time in a long time that you went to bed without anxiety, without the fear that he might kill you in your sleep.

When you woke up Rue was still asleep. So was the rest of the house. 

You put on some clean clothes and went to the kitchen. Your aunt didn’t have many breakfast foods so you decided to use what little money you had to make breakfast as a thank you.

The sun was slowly coming up and you hopped on Rue’s bike. 

You rode for just a few minutes until you saw a mini-mart. 

You parked the bike at the side of the small building and went inside. 

You were surprised it was open at an early hour but even more surprised to find a 12-year-old with face tattoos behind the counter. 

You gave them a small smile and started to shop. 

You grabbed some snacks and then something to make breakfast for everybody at home. 

With everything in hand you go up to the counter and the kid starts to scan your items. 

“So you new here?” He asked. 

“Yeah, I just got here last night,” you said. 

“Cool I’m Ashtray but you can call me Ash,” he said with his hand out for a handshake. You were surprised that he was so polite for the way he looked. But you obviously should never judge a book by its cover.

You chuckle lightly and shake his hand, “I’m Y/N.”

He puts everything in a bag and you exit to your bike. When you grabbed your bike a guy was sitting across from you, he had reddish hair and was on his phone. He was too focused on his phone to look up at you.

You get on your bike and head home. 

Once you are home you get to work on breakfast. You use what you bought to make pancakes and eggs. 

Your aunt came out of the hall to the smell of food, “Aww honey you didn’t have to do this,”

“I did. I had to say thank you and I’m sorry for everything that happened the past few years.”

“Baby nothing during those years was your fault.”

“But I still let it happen,” you started to tear up again, “and I promise that’s never going to happen again.”

She brings you into a hug and then Gia’s door opens, “Awesome! You made pancakes!” 

You wipe away your tears, “Of course I did, they’re your favorite.” 

You and Gia sit down and your aunt wakes up Rue. 

You were all sitting down eating it was like you had a family again. 

PART 1 | PART 2 |

♡please like comment and/or reblog♡wanna be tagged? (X)

tags: // @fandomxreader // @mrspetxrs // @negan-lover-blog // @Detective-oof //  @a-astxr // @meromelo // @alexxavicry // @breathinfive // @jjswhore // @spookybooisa // @papiazullll8 // @fezcoswhore // @rottenstyx // @lilithjow // @novvi // @infectedcleo // @emsoftie // @poisxnedmind // @shawkneecaps // @sorceresss // @blkroyalty1 //

[grey-sides]

Well folks, we have arrived at the final installment of my harringrove April series from @chrisbitchtree's list! I am calling this one "forever." You can find the whole series which puts all of the drabbles in order on AO3, here! This is one final installment full of fluff and some tender smut at the end (featuring bottom!Steve because they're switches ;) )

The apartment echoes when they walk through it now. It’s echoed for a few weeks now, as more and more furniture makes the trek up to their new house, outside of Chicago. They’re living farther away, but still close enough if Hawkins ever needs another assist, or rather, when it will. They’re back to turn in their keys and pick up a small tomato plant that Steve is going to put in their garden.

Billy walks through the apartment alone while Steve visits the neighbor who has the plant. His steps are louder now than they ever were when they lived here. They haven’t truly been living here for a few weeks, though they’ve made regular weekend trips to run the water in the apartment and to pick up random knick-knacks. But now it’s completely empty and this is the last time they’re going to be seeing this place.

Billy trails his fingers along the wall as he walks into their bedroom, the one with the mirrored closets. The house doesn’t have mirrored closets in the bedroom, but Steve owns it, so that kind of makes up for it. Billy stops and stares at himself in the mirror. He’s different than when they moved in. His shoulders don’t hunch up near his ears as much and his eyes are softer. He’s a little softer too, not punishing himself with too much exercise and not enough food. His chest is still scarred, but he’s working on getting a few more tattoos along the closed wounds to make something beautiful out of his damaged landscape.

His hair is still long and he thinks it will be as long as he lives. His curls are still full and beautiful and he’s not really sure why he’s looking for any signs of aging. Maybe he wants his reflection to show him that he looks as old as he feels. Weary and worn down by the world, but getting more excited about the future the longer life goes on. Billy thinks he’s just a little tired, there’s been a lot of days of moving and talking to Max about her and Lucas’ plan to travel across the country from their school in Boston once they graduate. Nancy and Jonathan keep talking about kids too and Billy is…a little surprised to still be alive.

His gaze is drawn from his reflection by the door opening. Steve doesn’t have to speak very loudly for Billy to hear him so Billy gives one final look around their bedroom and heads back to the main living area. Steve has his tomato plant resting on the counter and he smiles when he sees Billy. Steve’s showing his age just a touch more, he has a few streaks of grey which he blames on his mother. Billy’s fairly certain it also has to do with stress, though their lives have gotten significantly less stressful.

“Ready to go?” Steve asks, a warm smile on his face. Steve’s been ready for this, ever since he suggested to Billy that they try to move on from Hawkins, outside of its very long shadow. All of the kids are moving away, Joyce and Hopper have been holding everything down. More people are in on the knowledge now, a few new deputies and some park rangers. Oddly enough, the goings-on in Hawkins has finally brought the whole town together. And now, it seems like Billy and Steve can move on. Still not far. But far enough.

“Let’s go,” Billy agrees, taking the single key Steve holds out. They walk out the door together and Billy locks it behind them. Then he slides both keys into the provided envelope to stick in the leasing office’s slot. The final shick of the envelope into the mail bin feels the same as when they turned the key on their new house.

Billy walks with Steve over to his car, a newer sedan that can still fit a few, older, kids in the back. Steve puts his tomato plant in the trunk and climbs into the driver’s seat, staring up at their apartment building. Their balcony has been cleared off, all the windows shut, and it looks a little lifeless. He smiles and slides his hand over to the gear shift to back out of the parking lot to get on the road home. It’s going to be a bit of a drive, so Billy slides a CD into the player.

They sing along for a while, glancing at each other every so often. It’s a familiar drive and it’s kind of frightening to know they won’t be making it again. They don’t have to drive past this town on their way back to Hawkins from their house, so they’ll have to go out of their way if they want to see this apartment building again. It holds good memories, but it’s probably not necessary.

Billy eventually lays his hand on Steve’s knee and he trades their sunglasses to watch Steve laugh. He settles back in his seat and his heart slides into place just like the envelope of keys in the leasing office. When they finally emerge onto their new street with pretty little cottages and diverse families, Billy’s smile widens. His truck is in the driveway, shining from the good washing he gave it the day before.

Steve pulls up next to it and into the garage and the ABBA CD ends just as he shuts off the car. Steve climbs out with a soft groan, stretching and rolling his neck. He retrieves his tomato plant and smiles over at Billy who is busy unlocking the garage door to let them inside. Their cat, Beetlejuice, is laying on the counter in the sun, blinking at them lazily when they walk inside.

Steve heads out back to put the tomato plant on the deck. Billy knows he has plans to get it in the ground soon before it can start flowering. And Billy walks over to scratch his cat behind the ears. The fridge is covered in notes and pictures, invitations to graduation parties in Hawkins in a few weeks, and postcards from around the world courtesy of Steve’s mom. Both their schedules are pinned on the side of the refrigerator, Billy’s shifts tend to be day shifts reserved for the weekdays, but his workload is starting to pick up as summer dawns and the local parks begin to fill up. Steve has a couple of weekend shifts coming up, a few new group therapies starting that he’s offered his time for.

That had been a bit of a surprise when Steve had suggested they find a house and then said that he wanted to try and go back to school. He wanted to get a degree so he could work in counseling for kids who go through traumatic experiences. Billy had been supportive and with some help, Steve had gotten into community college with a dual program to start working at a counseling center. Steve has confessed more than once that he feels like he’s found a job he can love and leave at his workplace. And Billy knows he’s found closure in his groups too, finally beginning to see that sometimes bad things just happen to people who don’t deserve it.

Steve returns from the outside and he’s smiling when he pins Billy against the counter. He kisses his neck a couple of times and slides his arms around his waist, sighing happily. “We’re home for good,” he murmurs, eyes closed.

Billy covers Steve’s hands with his own and gives them a gentle squeeze. “And it’s all ours,” he chuckles, turning his head to give Steve a gentle kiss too.

Steve’s chin is a little scratchy from the stubble he lets grow when he nuzzles against Billy’s jaw, and his big brown eyes have some hard-earned wisdom in them. He’s softer too, but lean because he likes to go on runs in the morning, which Billy simply cannot understand. His hands are a little more calloused than they used to be from working in the community garden and now fixing up their small house, but they still fit perfectly inside Billy’s.

“We should make dinner soon,” Steve muses, lifting his wrist to look at his watch. He presses a final kiss to Billy’s cheek and goes to consult the small whiteboard they keep by the sink where they list their dinner ideas for the week. Next to it is the door to their basement which is currently propped open with a box full of wine.  “Salmon tonight?”

“Salmon’s fine,” Billy agrees, heading for the fridge. It’s almost strange how familiar this all feels. A part of Billy is still the scared young man he had been when he first embarked on this relationship with Steve. But now he can turn to that young man and assure him that it’s worth it. His happiness and security are always worth the risk.

****

If they thought they had been insatiable when they moved into their apartment, it’s nothing compared to now. Truly, no surface is safe from their love-making, but both of them prefer to have sex in the bedroom. There’s something special about it, lights dimmed, maybe a record playing in the corner, the curtains are drawn so it’s just them in this little world. There are no mirrors to showcase their prowess, but there is a fireplace for the winter which Steve was immediately drawn to. It’s cold and dark right now, the nights are warm enough to not need it.

Billy pushes Steve onto the bed, kissing him softly while he trails his hands down his sides. Steve makes a soft sound in his throat, he never did learn to be quiet, but he has taught Billy how to be a little louder. “Can I fuck you tonight?” Billy asks, pressing wet kisses down Steve’s jaw and neck.

“Of course,” Steve agrees easily, sliding his hands under Billy’s shirt to feel along his back. He keeps pressing tender kisses to Billy’s temple and it would be sweet if they weren’t both hard as hell right now. Steve had put Meatloaf on the record player and Billy had laughed at him for being a romantic fucker. But they both kinda are, it’s fine, no one needs street cred now.

Billy pushes Steve’s shoulders down and straddles his lap, leaning over to kiss him hungrily. They rock together for a bit, still fully clothed as they make out like teenagers. It’s a weird dichotomy to feel simultaneously so young and yet old enough to own a house. Billy leans over to grab the lube from the bedside table, dropping it by Steve’s head while he sits up to tug off his shirt.

Steve’s hand immediately finds the scar in the center of his chest along with the new ring of roses around it. He smiles softly, tracing the edges with a single finger. “Sometimes I still can’t believe you’re real,” he admits quietly.

Billy rolls his hips down and makes Steve groan. “Better believe it, baby,” he chuckles, sliding his hands under Steve’s shirt.

They help each other undress, tossing clothes onto the floor without a care in the world. This is their house, their bedroom, it’s for them and them alone. A sanctuary, never touched by the horrors of the world. Billy grabs the lube and slicks up two fingers. Neither of them tends to need much prep anymore, but it’s kind of nice to open Steve up and watch his eyes roll with pleasure. A new way for Billy to be, for his hands to create pleasure and gentleness when he’s inside Steve.

Billy sinks two fingers in immediately and Steve lets out a gasp, fisting his hands in the comforter. He takes a shaky breath and looks at Billy, leaning up for a kiss. Billy starts the process of opening him up, curling his fingers and listening to the sounds Steve makes under him. He used to tease him for favoring missionary, but it is romantic to gaze into each other’s eyes as they make love. Make love. Billy never thought those words would ever apply to him.

“I don’t need much, Billy, come on,” Steve begs, sliding his hands around to Billy’s hips. He tugs him closer, leaning up for another desperate kiss. Billy chuckles into it, just teasing Steve now as he plays with his rim and scissors his fingers. He doesn’t tease for too long, though, and eventually slides his fingers out to slick up his cock.

Billy lays across him and lifts Steve’s hips, sliding a pillow under them for comfort. He begins the process of pushing inside, groaning quietly and dropping his head to Steve’s. Their breaths mingle and Steve stutters out little pleased sounds, curling his legs around Billy’s waist.

“I love you,” Billy whispers when he bottoms out, ducking down for a kiss.

“Sap,” Steve teases, though his pupils are blown and his breathing is hard. He kicks Billy in the ass a little bit to get him to start moving, drawing his arms up to drag his nails down Billy’s spine.

Billy starts up a slow rhythm, pushing into Steve and pulling out. He braces his arms on either side of Steve’s head and watches him with wide eyes. Steve doesn’t keep his hands on Billy’s back for long, electing instead to slide one down to start jacking himself off while Billy fucks into him. It’s a practiced motion, maintaining Billy’s rhythm as they move together.

Steve keeps making these soft sounds of pleasure, mouth hanging open as he stares up at Billy. He’s breathing hard, rocking his hips with Billy’s, and chasing his release. Billy loves him so much he feels like his chest is going to burst with it. “Come on,” Steve mutters, sinking his teeth into his lower lip.

He keeps pulling Billy closer with his ankles and his eyes are a little glassy. Steve keeps leaning up to catch Billy in a kiss whenever his motion gets him close enough and Billy is smiling into each one. There’s no rush to get there, they have all the time in the world in this dim bedroom.

“You wanna cum for me, baby?” Billy goads, leaning down to nip at Steve’s jaw, he grunts a little and makes his next thrust harder.

Steve gasps and his hand stills on his cock. “Are you close?” he asks, breathing hard.

“Close enough,” Billy assures him, rolling his hips once more. “Come on, cum for me.”

Steve’s hand picks up speed again and Billy can feel him getting close the way he tightens around him. His legs pull taut, he clenches his hole and he bites his lip as he focuses. His eyes stay wide and trained on Billy though until he crests his climax, then they roll back and he moans with his release. Steve cums into his hand, though a bit gets on Billy’s chest and he’s breathing hard as he comes down.

Billy pulls out of him to not cause discomfort and leans over him to jack off into his fist. It only takes a few moments and he paints Steve’s chest and stomach with his release. He slumps over from it, breathing hard with a soft whine in the back of his throat. Billy collapses next to him and smacks for the box of tissues to clean off both their hands and dicks.

Steve turns on his side when he’s cleaned up, smiling dopily. “I love you too,” he murmurs, reaching out again to trace Billy’s chest tattoos. He keeps telling Billy he’s going to get a tattoo himself sometime soon. Billy has promised to hold his hand when he does.

Billy turns his head on his pillow to look over at Steve, his eyes are dropping closed which isn’t surprising because Steve has been up since six on his morning run. He yawns a little and Billy sits up enough to get the blankets over both of them. He reaches over and turns off the last light in the room, the record still playing quietly in the background. Someone is going to have to get up and take the record off when it stops. But for right now, their bed is warm and they are safe. And Steve’s name is on the deed and Billy’s is as good as written in blood on it too.

Billy’s heart belongs to Steve and Steve let him scratch his name on the back of his ribs years ago. They’re not perfect, sometimes Billy still has moments of rage and Steve is still quick to shut down concern with a quick joke or disarming smile. But there’s a cardboard box full of wine propping their basement door open and Steve knows what Billy Hargrove looks like when he cums too.

[tungstenb]

OC Profile

I wasn’t tagged, but I saw @pigeontheoneandonly’s post and it looked fun. Tagging anyone who wants to do this---for real! Tag me! Talk to me about your peeps!

I’m going to answer these as of ME3’s end so I don’t spoil too much that hasn’t been revealed in SAtS.

General

Full Name: Petra Maral Shepard

Alias(es): Born: Petra Maral Nazari, though she’s also gone by Petra Nazarian (reclaiming the truncated -ian suffix)

Gender: Female

Age: 32

Birthdate: April 11, 2154

Place of birth: Arcturus Station

Hometown: None, though she often daydreamed in childhood/adolescence that she had family back on Earth who would take her in (having grown attached to the idea that her parents had family they didn’t talk about). Her mother is from the Pacific Northwest, and her father is Persian-Armenian; from this information, Petra took a special interest in researching what living on Earth would be like---the natural wonder to explore, all the imaginary cousins and friends she’d meet. It was a way to cope with the isolation of being a spacer kid. (Funfact: this is the origin of Liara’s hallucinations in SAtS 15; note the mentions of Douglas firs and the Ararat Plain.)

Spoken language(s): English... and whatever else was required. Learning languages was a sort of backburner hobby for her, so she never got around to making much progress---not for lacking of trying. Liara roasts her endlessly for how awful her Arlees is, but to be fair, Arlees is difficult as hell (as are all asari languages).

Sexual orientation: Lesbian

Occupation: Retired after the end of ME3; she’s permanently disabled given limited resources post-war. Being a lifelong patient and surgical guinea pig to Miranda isn’t something she wants, especially if it only results in marginal QoL improvements.

Appearance

Eye color: Gray/hazel

Hair color: Brown

Height: 5′2″ (and proud of it)

Scars: Gash through left eyebrow (from Akuze); large warp burn spanning from left collarbone/shoulder-ish area to waist (from her encounter with Benezia on Noveria); assorted others that I don’t bother drawing because drawing scars consistently is hard.

Favorite

Color: Dark blue

Hair color: ?? On herself? Just natural. On others I don’t think she has a preference.

Song: She has a high tolerance for annoyingly repetitive music and generally loves pop (from any culture) that’s easy to dance and sing along to. Aside from that, her tastes also probably trend fairly bizarre at times, e.g. she unironically loves meme music and parodies, etc.

Food: Anything that’s hot and filling. She appreciates food that’s self-contained, like dumplings and burritos.

Drink: Coffee, coffee, and then more coffee. She had some bad experiences drinking while younger---and suspects her father struggled with alcoholism---so she’s a teetotaler until she finds herself working with Cerberus (and leans into some very unhealthy coping mechanisms).

Have They

Passed university: Yes

Had sex: Yes

Had sex in public: ...technically yes.

Gotten pregnant: No

Kissed a boy: I want to say no, but... see “bad experiences with alcohol” above; this wasn’t consensual.

Kissed a girl: Yes

Gotten tattoos: Yes. I’m not averse to the idea that she has several smaller tats I just haven’t planned yet, but her most treasured one is her wristband/forearm Armali-style bonding bracelet tattoo.

Gotten piercings: No

Been in love: Yes. This is a touchy subject for her, since she tends to be all or nothing with her interpersonal emotions. It’s easier to feel nothing; Liara just caught her off guard.

Stayed up for more than 24 hours: Yes

Are They

A virgin: No

A cuddler: Yes. Peesh is what my bff refers to as a “spouse barnacle”; i.e., her love languages are “physical touch” and “quality time.” Liara doesn’t mind... usually.

A kisser: Bahahaha, I’d say making out is one of her favorite pastimes.

Scared easily: Nah

Jealous easily: Probably not

Dominant: If we’re talking in bed then not... particularly...

Submissive: More so than you’d expect, but I don’t think I’d specifically label her this way. I’d describe her as attentive. ¬‿¬

In love: Yes

Single: No

Random Questions (tw for self harm/suicide mention)

Have they harmed themselves: Yes. This is a plot point in LWLS Book 2 (for the ME2-era flashbacks), and something Liara references in SAtS Chapter 19: “She carved all her old scars back into new skin.” Petra doesn’t take her Cerberus resurrection very well, let’s just say; it’s unnerving being a palimpsest.

Thought of suicide: Yes

Attempted suicide: Not... yet.

Wanted to kill someone: lmao, she tries not to, but... sometimes it’s just gotta be that way amirite fellas?

Have / had a job: Yep. If we’re talking pre-canon though, then she just took up odd menial jobs around the ships her parent(s) served on. Her father especially was the type to be controlling just for the sake of being controlling, so she didn’t have many opportunities to follow her academic passions; if her parents caught her enjoying something, they usually took it away. Before her enlistment, she also had to devote an excessive amount of time to PT/healing and (failed) training after her botched L3 surgery---one she only consented to under duress.

Have any fears: She has problems with vulnerability, which is why she usually handles situations either with stoicism or inappropriate and unnecessary humor. Relationship-wise, it’s hard for her to reconcile how she fears being alone while also feeling deeply uncomfortable with being Known™.

Family

Sibling(s): None

Parent(s): Hannah Shepard, Artur Nazari

Children: None

Significant other: Liara T’Soni

Pet(s): Fish (dearly departed, RIP). I see Peesh as a dog person, though. Big slobbery dogs.

[untaintedtea]

oc profile

Tagged by @yennas a few months ago lol thank you! I'm doing it for Ririka bc I thought I did a basic profile thing for her before but never did? and bc the parents thing made me actually think about her mom lol. Tagging @dani-dear​ (hello I am Looking at ur recent character art) @elmha @euxiom @maybeimawhale @yenanng um idek anymore bc I haven't been around much so pls lemme know if you want tags bc I wanna finish a few more this month if possible haha

GENERAL

name: Ririka Shepard alias[es]: none (but yeah Allison Gunn I guess lol) gender: female age: 29-32 birthdate: 11 April 2154 place of birth: Mindoir hometown: some town in Mindoir spoken language[s]: Galactic, whatever's taught in the N7 linguistics program (I assume council race major languages)... old meme so I don't ramble sexual preference: bisexual occupation: Alliance Commander, likely other(s) bc I don't think she can just go back to that soon after ME3. Won't list any tho bc I mostly joke and don't know which would actually happen

APPEARANCE

eye color: dark brown hair color: dark brown, dyed pink. Roots show in ME3 since she stopped maintaining it height: 5'7"/171cm scars: highest renegade scarring everywhere. Prior to this she had a scar on the left side of her mouth, one diagonally across her right cheek, and a slash on her forehead under her bangs so you never see it. She probably has a bunch of regular small/light scars everywhere but they're insignificant. Also stretch marks everywhere if that counts lol

FAVORITE

color: sap green (on the darker end -- like the oil paint from Winsor & Newton/Gamblin) hair color: dyeing her hair pink in ME2 made her happy bc her mom didn't let her dye her hair but I don't think she has a preference really; it's only ever natural or pink song: probably something classic but I don't have wide knowledge of that outside the compositions everyone knows so idek lol food: steak. I actually don't think she cares too much about specifics for once drink: gyokuro, Kenyan Tinderet, and either whiskey/gin idek which she prefers more

HAVE THEY

passed university: no. I think she'd like to go sometime though; she was preparing to go before the Mindoir raid happened had sex: yes had sex in public: I wanna say no but she gets stupid horny so. maybe lmao gotten pregnant: no (she's infertile) kissed a boy: yes kissed a girl: yes gotten tattoos: no gotten piercings: yes been in love: yes (but she won’t admit it lol) stayed up for more than 24 hours: yes

ARE THEY

a virgin: no a cuddler: no a kisser: no scared easily: no jealous easily: no dominant: yes submissive: yes in love: yes (but will deny it) single: no (see above lskdjf. Trolling the news outlets who have the audacity to ask tbh)

RANDOM QUESTIONS

have they harmed themselves: yes thought of suicide: no attempted suicide: no wanted to kill someone: yes have / had a job: yes have any fears: failure, people she loves dying…and probably getting married, which she never wants to do anyway so it's super irrational, but we love an irrational fear

FAMILY

sibling[s]: three older brothers, deceased. The age gap between her and the eldest is pretty big (like ~18-20 years) parent[s]: Kazuhiko Morinaka and Tatyana Shepard (they're married but nobody changed their name), deceased. Ririka has her mom's name just because she said so when asked about the surname on the birth certificate. Tbh I don't think about her mom much since in every other universe she dies when Ririka's born, but I think she's a pretty cool and fun person (basically unlike Ririka, who personality-wise takes more after her dad. Tragic since she doesn't like him much lmao. But she shares many interests with her mom, like cats, chess, flowers, music, etc) children: none significant other: Kaidan Alenko, Miranda Lawson pets: Kalinka II the cat, the space hamster, all the aquarium fish

(PS: I don't think I ever mentioned it on here but I didn’t take the thing about Ririka being unable to have kids from Yen; I’ve had her like twice as long as I’ve known Yen. I took it from Ushio from Shinshi Doumei Cross/Gentleman's Alliance Cross instead LMAO anyway just didn’t want u 2 think otherwise ok bye)

[irikahkrios]

@spookyvalentine tagged me to do this oc meme for emmett! thanks for the tag!!

General-

Name: emmett richard shepard

Alias(es): none really. his family and partners call him em i guess

Gender: trans male

Age: early thirties for most of the parts of his story that i like to concentrate on lmao (me2/me3)

Birthdate: september 5, 2154. that's right he doesn't have the "canon" shepard birthday in april, he shares my birthday and bioware can't stop me

Place of birth: spaaaace

Hometown: spaaaaace (real answer: various ships lmao he doesn’t set foot on earth until he’s 18)

Spoken language(s): just english i think? though i do enjoy the thought of him learning bits and pieces of his partners' languages so they can communicate at least a little bit without translators. that's cute

Sexuality: bisexual, though i think he's been with more men than women

Occupation: very exhausted space marine at the time of canon, and stage actor and eventually high school drama teacher postcanon.

Appearance-

Eye color: green

Hair color: red

Height: 5'6" and about a half inch

Scars: one across his eyebrow and one under his chin (usually hidden by his beard) from uh. “incidents” with his birth parents, and some others he’s gotten from his military service over the years. they’re all gone after he’s rebuilt, and it fucks him up quite a bit. 

Favorite-

Color: yellow

Hair color: like on a partner? i think he likes dark hair, but it doesn't come up often as he’d rather date nonhumans. on himself he's perfectly fine with his natural ginger

Song: i wouldn't say he's got a favorite song, he listens to a lot of music and it’s kind of hard to pick. but abba's voulez-vous is his favorite album of all time

Food: cheesecake, any kind of potato hash, peaches, barbecue pulled pork 

Drink: red bull, limeade, apple cider, eggnog, cold brew coffee. for alcohol, he loves fruity little cocktails. 

Have They-

Passed university: not before the games, but years postcanon he goes to college to become a teacher

Had sex: boy has he

Had sex in public: almost certainly at least once. since thane doesn't show up at huerta in me3 in my rewritten canon i unfortunately can't take the thane/emmett hospital sex from the actual game as canon, but i do lowkey headcanon thane and irikah as being kinda into public sex and i think they've pulled him into a supply closet somewhere at least once lmao. also i know it doesn't count as public but it's worth mentioning that i think my canon's equivalent of that hospital scene is gonna be emmett/thane/irikah having sex on a table in an empty room at a drell rebellion base on kahje.

Gotten pregnant: once, postcanon!

Kissed a boy: yes

Kissed a girl: yes

Gotten tattoos: not sure? like, emmett definitely seems like the type to have at least one tattoo, but i just haven't been able to think of anything specific so far that really fits. in my pirate fic he does end up with magical glowing tattoos

Gotten piercings: his ears are pierced 

Been in love: yes!! with three people at the same time!!

Stayed up for more than 24 hours: oh god yeah. emmett and irikah, both operating on zero hours of sleep, see each other in the living room at 3 in the morning and are like that spider-man meme

Are They-

A virgin: HAHA NOPE

A cuddler: yes :') he gives great hugs

A kisser: yes!!! a good kisser. though the beard can tickle 

Scared easily: yes, but he's extremely good at pushing the fear down and acting like it isn't there in order to do whatever he has to do.

Jealous easily: nope!

Dominant: assuming this means in bed, lmao not really. he’s more than willing to step into that role if it makes his partner(s) happy though

Submissive: once again assuming this means in bed, um. very :)

In love: yes he is!!

Single: very much not!! he has three (3) entire partners

Random Questions (took out the darker ones bc i'm not really in the proper headspace to answer those)-

Do they have / have they had a job: space marine but just for the healthcare. at 18 he was like fuck the military but i would like to not have tits please :) and then he just never left 

Have any fears: anything involving his bodily autonomy being taken away (part of why he hates liara so much), losing people he cares about, and thresher maws.

Family-

Sibling(s): 4 adoptive siblings, 2 older (flint and cynthia) and 2 younger (clark and eloise). he also counts his clone, dick (who survives in my canon), as a sort of sibling in a weird way. often introduces him to people as his brother, when he doesn’t feel like answering all the questions that spring from “my clone who cerberus grew for spare parts when rebuilding me, who escaped and eventually tried to kill and replace me but i saved his life and helped him realize he could become his own person so we’re cool now and he comes over for holiday dinner every year.” he gets so used to introducing dick as his brother that i think at one point he accidentally introduces him as such to his siblings. 

Parent(s): his adoptive moms, hannah and natalie shepard. there's also technically his shitty birth parents if you wanna count them, but he killed his dad in self-defense with his biotics at 12 and hasn't seen his bio mom since being taken away by child protective services afterwards.

Children: two postcanon! his son norius (turian) and daughter juniper (human)

Significant other: his husbands garrus and thane and wife irikah :’)

Pet(s): a few cats postcanon! i have never bought any of the fish or the hamster in-game

[ad1thi]

2020 fic recs!! [Part 1]

this idea was stolen from @iam93percentstardust cuz i just,,,thought that this year was absolute shit and it would be nice to make a fic rec list of fics from this year that helped me through it. this will be over a range of fandoms and ships, but all fics were written this year. 

fics are ordered by the month they were published. ive tried to keep to five fics per month, but this is not obviously all the fics ive read that month - i just didn’t want to make this insanely long. 

im releasing the first half of this on the 1st of December, and the second half on the 1st of January 2021 - because otherwise it would just get so long (and also so i will actually have fics for December)

happy reading!! hopefully you find fics on this you haven’t read yet

***

January

The cat is mighty dignified (until the dog comes by): @five-wow

Steve and Danny find them on the pillow in the corner of the dining area, where Eddie is on his side, ass half on the floor because the pillow is more cat-sized than lab-sized, and Pickles is nestled between Eddie’s front legs, essentially being spooned and looking very I-got-the-cream about it. Pickles’ head is tucked into the crook of Eddie’s neck and Eddie’s head slots perfectly on top of Mr. Pickles’, like a furry jigsaw puzzle.

“They’re cuddling,” Steve points out, unnecessarily.

Or: There is a love story unfolding under the McGarrett roof.

Captain ‘Socialist Rage Muffin’ America: @baffledkingcomposinghallelujah

It takes three months of dating Steve Rogers for Tony to understand why Aunt Peggy once shot at him in sheer frustration.

Alternately titled, Honey, I committed treason again.

The Best Laid Plans (Of Mice and Men): @arboreal-elm-ash-oak

His Dark Materials AU

It was Annalise who noticed their small visitor first.

“Tony,” the spider daemon said softly, skittering up the collar of his dress shirt, two of her eight legs resting delicately against his cheek, “Don’t startle them, but I believe we have a guest. Look, by the coffee table.”

Fourteen Million to One: @tunastorks

Six months after Thanos, six months after Tony’s death, six months after Steve returns to his own timeline, Tony Stark turns up on their doorstep.

Brewed Awakening: @iam93percentstardust

Two years after he comes out of the ice, Steve is drifting through life. On his teammate's recommendation, he decides to go back to school where he meets the grandson of an old friend. He finds happiness with Tony but Steve won't be in Boston forever and someone is out to hurt the Starks. Will Steve and Tony be able to reach their happily ever after?

February

the young, the reckless and the foolish: @bruciewayne

In most universes, they don't know each other, not in the slightest, or they hate each other, in a way that's perfectly logical for anyone who were to find themselves in a similar situation.

In this one, they've known each other since they were four years old and naively idealistic.

This is them over the years, against the odds.

a giant sign: @areiton

“Think you can get him to open the weapons division up again?” his CO asks, his voice hungry and Rhodey laughs because this--

“No. Tony hung up his weapons.”

“That’s not what the suit says,” his CO objects, and Rhodey shrugs.

Tony has always had rules, rules he expects the entire world to live by.

And then there was Rhodey, slipping under them.

my heart is driftwood, floating down your coast: @nethandrake

Tonight, there’s a stranger in his backseat. That’s not unusual.

He’s also sad. That’s not unusual either.

What is unusual is that the stranger is silent.

(One night, a stranger enters Steve's taxi. Nothing is the same again.)

Just A Cold: @/delighted 

There’s a new text waiting for him. It’s from Steve of course, and it’s vaguely threatening as most messages from Steve are these days. Still Danny ignores it, and now he’s really playing with fire. Maybe it’ll burn the cold out of him.

Or, Danny’s sick, and Steve can’t stay away. The usual comfort fluff. With a little cameo from a gently meddling Grace.

An Unexpected Guide: @/Rachel500

Danny Williams has hidden his Guide status to keep being a detective, but his time of hiding is up when he unexpectedly finds his Sentinel, Steve McGarrett in the midst of a tragedy.

March

Why don’t we (Collide the spaces that divide us): @five-wow

When they finally catch sight of each other again through the milling crowds, they’re both a little worse for wear. Danny’s left side is covered in glitter and every time he brushes a hand over his hair, more blue and purple confetti rains down. Steve is- Well, Steve is randomly shirtless, which is all things considered not excessively remarkable, but he’s also covered in smudges of colorful paint and has a very nicely printed bloodred lipstick kiss mark on his cheek.

“What did you do?” Danny asks, because it looks like Steve had a lot more fun than he did.

Or: Steve and Danny accidentally end up in the middle of something entirely new.

A Little Unsteady: @finduilasclln 

Written for the Tumblr prompt meme : "Hey! I was gonna eat that!"

Tony lashes out at Bucky for eating his dessert. Only, it really isn't about the dessert.

a national treasure: @starklysteve

Steve isn't looking for an apple and Tony decides his passion is to inspire young souls. -x- OR: the AU where Tony is a Youtuber and Steve is Captain America and somehow they still save the world together.

April

cycle through: @ambivalentmarvel

Twenty-five years ago, Tony Stark disappeared from his family home a month after the tragic deaths of his parents, Howard and Maria Stark, leaving a billion-dollar tech conglomerate without an heir and the world wondering what happened.

Twenty-three years ago, HYDRA gained another super soldier.

Ten years ago, Peter Parker’s parents died in what is ruled as a home invasion gone wrong but he knows was murder, plain and simple, because he spoke to the killer.

And in the present, Project Insight fails, and the Iron Soldier pays the price.

FOREVER-LOVE YOU-I: @/Eudoxia

Tony Stark is twenty-one when he loses his voice. It shouldn't matter, but in a world where the first words your Soulmate says to you are marked on your skin, it can be pretty damn annoying.

Especially for Tony's soulmate.

--

Companion piece to my fic Thumb, Index, and Pinky Extended. This is Steve's POV, with a few extra scenes, as a treat.

(Edit: Sorry if you guys get multiple notifications for this. I just realized (about two hours after posting it) that I fucked up the grammar in the title and I HAD to fix it. YOLO, I guess.)

come build a home out of me: @maguna-stxrk

Steve clears his throat.

“What if I went with you?” he asks nonchalantly, like his heart isn’t threatening to beat out of his ribcage.

Tony blinks a few times, looking at Steve, his mouth ajar. “As a— As my date?”

“Yeah.” Steve nods, feeling a little breathless.

“You don’t mind?” Tony furrows his eyebrows.

“I don’t. In fact, you can just tell them I’m your boyfriend. I’m sure they’ll back off, wouldn’t they?”

What.

“I— Huh?” Tony stares at him, brown eyes blown wide open.

What. What. What.

“Huh? Uh, I mean— You know, that way people will see that you have definitely moved on. Monica will see that you have moved on. Right?” Steve smiles, hoping that it masks his inner panic, because what?

Steve Rogers, what have you done?

i don’t have a choice (but i’d still choose you): @nethandrake

There’s a name inked onto his chest, a name written in an all-too familiar scrawl. And it’s— It’s—

Steve doesn’t realize his body is quaking until he’s tracing the tattoo with a shaky finger.

Because of course that is the name etched into the skin. Like a brand, a reminder for everything he has done. An appropriate retribution.

Anthony Edward Stark.

(When Thanos snaps half of the universe away, he unknowingly leaves the other half with soulmarks.)

ua haʻalele ʻoe iaʻu (a ua hoʻomālamalama ʻoe iaʻu): @just-fandomthings

"The truth is, I was shot in the chest and nearly died, and not even three days after I was released from the hospital, you up and left-- and of those two, I'm not sure which one hurt me worse!"

(Coda to 10x22 because come on, we all need a better ending than the one given to us.)

Title loosely translates to: "You left me in the dark (you lit me up)" -- inspired by the brilliant song "Say You Won't Let Go" by James Arthur

May

A Piece Of The Past: @hddnone

It had been so many years since Bucky had gone undercover in the Stark family's mob, he thought he'd gotten away clean.

Then Tony Stark slid into the seat across from him at his breakfast diner, and Bucky's boss has a new case for him.

the privilege of loving you: @starklysteve

“Why won’t you let me touch you?”

It’s a desperate plea, half-shouted and half-whispered, Steve’s voice cracking at the end. Tony stops in his tracks, halfway to the stairs. He doesn’t dare to turn back, and he really doesn’t want to fight, or to leave, to spend the last month of his life away from his husband and their son. But Steve can’t know, can he?

-x-

Or: Tony has palladium poisoning, but he doesn't tell Steve and Peter

your pillow feels so soft now (but still you must advance): @firebrands

When Bruce is 13, he decides to go to boarding school. It's an opportunity for him to learn about other people, and how to interact with them.

Bruce has the misfortune of meeting Tony Stark upon his arrival in Roxbury. Bruce is moving into his room, and Tony opens the door of his room to watch. He looks a bit younger than Bruce, hair wild and eyes bright. Bruce has never seen a boy like him before—handsome and confident.

Bruce doesn’t like it.

IMPORTANT: This fic has them meeting at 14, then progresses slowly until they’re 17. Includes underage drinking and kissing.

This is set before Bruce becomes Batman and Tony becomes Iron Man and I have no explanation as to how or why they just DO Canonically, Bruce is 17 when he finishes school and goes around the world to train, so we're sticking with that

The Real MVP: @sword-and-stars (part of a series)

[“I have saved this Tuesday!” Sokka announces, rattling the bag upon reentry.

Zuko doesn’t even look up from his phone as he deadpans, “It’s Thursday.”

Okay, so Sokka is still having trouble getting his days right without checking. At least he’s gone back to sleeping at night! Going to bed at night is way easier when you have a cute, cuddly boyfriend who starts falling asleep around eleven o’clock. It also helps that he and Zuko are on solid gold butt-touching terms.

It’s been a while since Sokka has been on butt-touching terms with someone and it’s amazing.]

Or,

Sokka knows a guy, gets laid, and introduces Zuko to the merits of an afternoon delight.

When is a bed not a bed? (When you’re not in it): @riotwritesthings

There’s a tiny safe house, with one tiny window and one tiny couch.

And one tiny little bed.

June

Nice Fingers: @anthonyed

A single compliment given by Tony stirs Bucky restless until he caves in and asks him out on a date.

With Steve’s help of course (whether he likes it or not).

The Darkest Touch: @starkrogerrs

This is the story of how Steve finds that it has been ordained that he is to marry a monster he cannot resist aka the God of Love himself, Tony.

It's Cupid x Psyche retold, but with thrice the amount of porn.

The Night Shift:  @weethreequarter

Welcome to the Emergency Department of San Antonio General where Dr. Tony Stark joins the team fresh from his most recent tour in Afghanistan and - much to the consternation of the other staff - strikes up an instant rapport with Nurse Steve Rogers. Meanwhile, new resident Bruce Banner refuses to give up on his patient, and Dr. Sharon Carter learns something from her own patients. Throw in a pissed off hospital administrator, Clint using the coffee pot as a mug again, and a major car crash and you have, well, just another night shift.

Wind Beneath My Wings: @iam93percentstardust

Sam first meets Tony Stark in 2005 when he joins the EXO-7 Falcon program.

In jest: @/apathyinreverie

“No, babe,” Danny shakes his head with a grin. “If the apocalypse were to go down while I’m elsewhere for some godforsaken reason, then you stay put and I’m coming to wherever you are.” His grin widens. “And I expect you to have cleared any aliens or zombies or whatever else might be messing with us off the island and to have set up a nice, comfortable military dictatorship for us to rule over by the time I get back.”

It’s a joke.

Of course it’s a joke.

Until it isn’t.

(A the-day-after-tomorrow-style apocalypse AU, where the world decides to end right when Danny is visiting one of the other islands with Grace. Because, of course, it does.)

[yaz-the-spaz]

But I want to know your theory. :(

ok ok i guess i’ll spill…i was kinda hesitant to share just cause i’m still not all that solid in my belief in it myself but basically it seems like maybe ziam has made it a tradition to have some kind of couples trip most years (if not every year) in february ever since 2014…

(btw for future reference this ask is a continuation of this ask re ziam both being publicly in vegas earlier this year)

ugh sorry guys! hit enter by accident and posted this wayyyy before i was anywhere near finished lol…this will be updated within the hour (if it doesn’t take me too long to get my thoughts out)

narrator: she did not finish it within the hour.

…

ok so part of the reason i’ve been hesitant to share this is because a good portion of it is VERY speculative and just based on a lot of guesswork and assumptions, but also there’s the fact that it feels like this is something major that more people in the fandom (or at least someone, other than little ass me lol) would have noticed before now and it kind of freaks me out that maybe no one else has?? (unless ofc i just haven’t happened to see any other posts there are about it idk)… 

also fyi a lot of what i propose throughout this is heavily based on info from this post just to make sure i remember to site my sources before we get into it lol

alright now onto the actual theory…

SO. all this started with me scrolling through old posts from late 2013/early 2014 and being reminded of the fuckery that was zayn’s bday that year (with the douche canoe crew and everyone pretending like liam was barely there as seemingly some sort of weird over-the-top cover-up)…the same party that seemed kinda like liam’s possible “introduction” to the malik family as more than just zayn’s friend/as his possible significant other. which was also only a month after that suspicious engagement-looking ring first showed up on zayn’s ring finger in december 2013 from bts midnight memories mv footage (and which stayed around as a necklace throughout january 2014 and early febuary 2014 right before the first appearance/debut of the mandala tat in mid feb). 

bts midnight memories mv with the ring in view - dec 2013:

(suspicious?) malik family outing/celebration with the ring in view - dec (or possibly late nov?) 2013:

[putting the rest under the cut cause as per usual with me this got insanely long]

liam and aunt zileh at zayn’s bday party - jan 2014:

liam and one of the little cousins at zayn’s bday party - jan 2014:

then sometime in between late jan and early feb 2014 liam went on a trip to barbados with his whole family (and supposedly also sophia lol more on that later*) while zayn was SUPPOSEDLY still home and steadily “posting” pics of himself at home with various members of his family (with the ring on a necklace clearly visible in the pics lol), anddd as some have also pointed out his hair was suspiciously unchanged in these pics despite his claim of getting a haircut BEFORE most of the pics were posted lol

zayn in family pics with the ring on a necklace - late jan/early feb 2014 (sorry i’m not the one who cropped his fam out lol):

but yet we’re supposed to believe zayn - who had just gotten awarded the asian ambassadorship for the VERY FIRST time - mysteriously (and willingly) MISSED the ceremony on feb. 5th with absolutely no explanation. which…we all know how big a deal that was to him from the way he talked about it and how honored he was when he went in 2015…which begs the question if he was really just home not doing much of anything at the time in 2014 why in the world would he just pass/bail on that HUGE HONOR with no explanation??? mayhaps because he was actually already an ocean away with liam and fam in barbados celebrating his engagement (and getting his own “introduction” to the payne family) and literally COULD NOT ATTEND?

anyway so then, we have him getting the mandala tat around feb 18th 2014 - or at least this is the day he debuted it on his old ig, so the date may be a few days off from when he actually got it - but this still would’ve been shortly after they got back from the barbados trip when he debuted this particular tat (aka another solidification of the engagement??) 

THEN we get the very first ig ziam likes from the famous and beloved aunt zileh (!!!) in this same month (still feb for reference, but she continues steadily and heavily liking stuff all the way through april when she seems to cool down again). fast forward to the 2014 brits at the end of february where we have the infamous moment with 1) ziam giddy as fucking ever, 2) zayn whispering into and practically mawling liam’s neck in public, 3) liam talking about how it was great to “fill each other in” on what they were up to during their break while zayn’s just steady standing there smiling like a loon and then 4) liam still later being like ‘you don’t wanna know’ when asked what he got up to (and zayn still grinning like a fool)

ziam being gross at brits 2014:

so to sum up so far: 1) one of them possibly proposed around nov/dec 2013 (or that’s my best guess anyway based on the evidence lol), 2) then zayn shows up with a suspiciously-engagement-looking ring in dec 2013, 3) then all the weirdness with liam’s attendance at zayn’s bday party a month later (possibly also liam’s formal intro to the malik family), 4) then liam takes his barbados trip with his fam (and supposedly sophia lol*) just a couple weeks later while “zayn” stays home and posts family pics (but is very likely secretly on the trip with liam lol which is also possibly zayn’s formal intro the payne family and a belated celebration of their engagement), 5) and then we get the beginning of aunt zileh’s likes, 6) the debut of zayn’s mandala tat, 7) and the 2014 brits wildness…all in the space of like 3 months. and most of it happening in FEBRUARY. what a wild fucking journey right?

*side note/fun fact: liam and his fam were posting stuff regularly throughout the duration of the barbados vacay but there were literally zero pics of sophia posted from this trip until like dec 2014 or sometime around then when like ONE random pic suddenly surfaced/was posted and lots of ppl had already speculated that sophia was never there in the first place so once this one pic came up that idea got upgraded to people theorizing that they maybe had some of the fam go back a second time later in the year just to stage take photos to retroactively prove/authenticate the narrative that sophia was there lol

but anyway so back to the actual matter at hand - most of that shit happened in february right? specifically the barbados trip (aka the possible engagement celebration trip)…and when i was talking about all this to a friend we realized ZIAMI WAS ALSO IN FEBRUARY. AND SO WAS THIS YEAR’S VEGAS SHIT. AND THEN. AND THEN. My friend did some research and there was apparently this little known/barely talked about article (or at least barely talked about that i’m aware of) about liam taking a TRIP TO THE MALDIVES IN FEBRUARY 2016… which coincidentally (or not lol considering these shady ass hoes) is also around the same time he got his 4 tattoo (I believe this was the first article, or at least one of the first articles, that mentioned the tat’s debut) 

BUT WAIT. 

THE INSANE SHIT DOES NOT END THERE FOLKS.

GUESS WHICH MONTH THE CARTIER BRACELET FIRST DEBUTED?

FUCKING FEBRUARY 2016.

specifically on liam’s wrist in preparation for the 2016 brits (photo posted to his brits stylist’s ig on feb 23rd). and he didn’t take it off till like june.

so. quick timeline:

february 2016 - maldives trip and debut of liam’s 4 tattoo (around feb 21st); debut of cartier bracelet via liam (feb 23rd); (there was also that valentine’s day roses pic liam posted feb 14th of this year which was quite interesting considering he and c hadn’t even been officially announced as a “thing” yet…ofc we know it still got retroactively attributed to her anyway but whatever, we all know who it was really for lol 😏)

february 2017 - i don’t have anything on this year, partly cause i stopped paying as close attention due to heavy ramping up of stunts, although if anyone has more concrete info on this period that hints at anything please do hit me up and i will add it in, but anyway just based on a little light research there does appear to be a good period of inactivity from both of them during this time (as in both of them had quite a bit of time in february where they were pretty inactive on sm, not being papped, and essentially mia and would have potentially had time to go on a private trip) - UPDATE: HOLY SHIT I CANNOT BELIEVE I FORGOT ABOUT THIS BUT THIS IS THE YEAR LIAM SHOWED UP AT THE BRITS WITH THE MOTHERFUCKING 25 ON HIS JACKET AND FUCKED SIMON ALL THE WAY UP BY SWERVING ON HIS UGLY BITCH ASS SPEECH IN FRONT OF GOD AND ENTIRE WORLD (and i think also thanked zayn in his speech if i’m not mixing that up with another year??) - all on feb 23rd to be specific.

february 2018 - ZIAMI OBVIOUSLY (which specifically started feb 22nd, or at least that’s the day i’m counting it as ‘started’ cause it’s the day liam joined zayn in miami, can’t recall the exact day zayn arrived but pretty sure it was only a couple days before that)

february 2019 - zayn starts wearing this distinctive fishhook earring in all his ig pics, which on the surface seems like a pretty small thing, but quite possibly commemorates their famous august 2014 fishing trip (directly after which he also started wearing a fish hook pendant on a necklace back in 2014); this was also another period they were pretty quiet/mia as far as i can recall, although again if anybody has more concrete info from this time that could point to something please let me know, but anyway point being they again would have had a good chunk of time to possibly go on a private trip together

february 2020 - VEGAS BABY

ofc i’m sure you all will notice one year was left out - february 2015 they were on tour with no breaks coming anytime soon so they obviously weren’t able to go on a trip that year. BUT. february 14th 2015 (aka valentine’s day lol) is also the day liam was famously papped with some small shopping bags that looked suspiciously but precisely like the type that usually come from a jewelry store, and then later that same night they had a performance (for otra tour) where we have zayn pictured wearing a new gold bracelet (as in he hadn’t been seen wearing it ever before on tour or anywhere else) - btw the op of this linked post actually marks this day as the debut of the cartier bracelet but there’s a lot of counter speculation that it’s not and given that it doesn’t quite look like the cartier bracelet looked in later pics (it’s more round and more gold than the cartier bracelet which imo looks more angular and more kind of a two-tone/silvery-gold than this vday bracelet) i’m inclined to lean more towards it just being a regular but still very sweet vday-gifted bracelet. but anyway back to more important stuff. now considering this was literally just a little over a month before zayn left - and one of my theories for zayn leaving was that it was possible he felt it was the only way to save his relationship with liam…i mean if they were still giving each other vday presents they were clearly still VERY in love at this point. like that’s not the kind of thing you’d expect from a couple that was on the rocks and on the verge of breaking up and i know a lot of ppl (myself included for a brief minute) speculated that zayn leaving the band meant he maybe left liam too/or things weren’t working out b/t them or whatever, but given this context of the vday gifts just a few weeks before him leaving that doesn’t really line up…what does line up though is him being so in love and so sick of the bs that he might be driven to just be done with it all (as far as the stress of the band and mgmt bs is concerned at least). and ofc liam did say that zayn is the most emotionally impulsive/emotionally driven out of all them so when you think about it it really shouldn’t come as that much of a surprise…

anyway, in conclusion: 

it appears quite possible ziam has made it a couples tradition (ever since that first honeymoonish vacay in 2014) to go on some sort of trip/getaway together around the end of every february (or at least do something special together/for each other when they can’t) and in further conclusion I AM NOT OKAY AND WILL NEVER BE OVER THIS REALIZATION OKAY THANKS BYE 😭😭😭😭😭🌈🌈🌈 

[yeojaa]

                   ❪  VOGUE :  ❫  april 2020  -  click to view high-res!

When Jeon Jungkook first popped up on my radar - as the face of Dior, no less - I didn’t pay much attention to him.  Here, it seemed, was another guy with an unprecedented social media following and a very photogenic face.  You know the type.  

It comes as a surprise, then - a relief, really - to meet Jeon on a bustling Friday night in the heart of New York’s Koreatown.  It’s his idea to have dinner together and I’m not one to turn down barbecue in any of its forms so here we are, tucked into the back corner of a popular all-you-can-eat establishment known for its soju-soaked watermelons.  Jeon, unsurprisingly, looks nearly identical to the photos he posts on Instagram, each one amassing upwards of millions of likes in less than twenty-four hours.  He’s got a leather jacket on -  a staple for his profession, which I’d soon learn wasn’t just pretty boy but actual rockstar - and a bucket hat pulled over his hair.  It’s probably meant to be inconspicuous but I note at least six tables that turn around too many times to be coincidence.

“Is there anything you don’t eat?”  Is one of the first things out of his mouth once we’ve got the pleasantries out of the way.  When I tell him, no, I eat everything and anything, he looks like I’ve just told him his latest single went triple platinum.  

We spend the evening getting grease all over our hands and drinking probably too much beer.  Jeon insists it’s a requirement when enjoying barbecue - “You can’t eat meat without having a drink!” - and I’m not about to say no, though I don’t think I really could.  He’s got a charm that’s both elusive and incredibly apparent but unlike most people in his age bracket, it seems completely effortless.  It’s not hard to see why he’s so successful.

Jeon tells me about his life and growing up in Portland, a place he says “drinks its own Kool-Aid.”  I’m not really sure what that means and ask him to explain, which he does with a laugh that draws the stare of our waitress.  “Portland’s a weird city.  As in, that’s what it’s known for.  Its ‘weirdness’, as if that’s a good thing.  I guess I get the appeal.”  He doesn’t mince words when he speaks, throwing caution to the wind as easily as he drains his third glass of Asahi Black.  “It’s this weird mix of fucked-up addicts who think they’re living in a La Dispute song and “precious” Portland transplants who have no idea how to handle it.”

I ask him whether or not he’d ever go back and he nearly chokes on the piece of lettuce he’s dipped in ssamjang.  He laughs long and hard - I’m reminded of the hyenas in Broadway’s The Lion King - and shakes his head.  “I’m not saying LA’s any better but it knows what it is and what it isn’t.  There’s also a way better food scene there.”  The smile he offers is shameless.  “Better looking girls, too.”  

Although we haven’t known each other very long, I have a feeling he’s leaning heavily into whatever preconceived notion he thinks I have of him.  When I voice my belief, he laughs again, pulling his bucket hat off and tossing his dark hair away from his eyes like an old Hollywood ingenue.  It turns out I’m right.

When I ask him about what has surprised him most about living in LA, he lists things off like he thinks about them regularly, throwing his tattooed fingers up with each count.  “How people will believe anything they read in the media, how many people actively seek out paps, how I really don’t understand how people don’t get trashed at after parties, and how hard it is for anyone to get my name right.”  It’s not surprising how unrepentant he is but it’s still hilarious.  

I ask whether he’s ever considered changing his name or taking a stage name (“What, like Drake?”) and he shoots the idea down immediately.  “My parents gave me this name, just like they gave me everything else.  I’m not about to strip it away so some people can feel better about themselves.”  As someone with a Korean mother and an Italian-American father, I get what he means.  We’ll ignore the fact that I go by my English name.

The longer we spend in the restaurant - far longer than the requisite two hours most other diners seem afforded - the clearer the picture of Jeon gets.  

He loves his family and talks endlessly about his mother, insisting that her kimchi puts this restaurant to shame.  He offers up a few of his biggest influences, citing Canadian duo Majid Jordan, singer-songwriter John Mayer, and trap and bass DJ RL Grime.  He eats with abandon, devouring slabs of pork belly faster than I can blink, though he never hesitates to refill my glass, either.  He tells me how he’s wanted this since he was a kid but that it’s definitely not just sheer, dumb luck that’s gotten him where he is.  He doesn’t explicitly name the apparent sacrifices he’s made but there’s something in his eyes that reads like an obituary.  I don’t press him on it. 

Later on, while I’m editing this piece, Kim Namjoon - his agent and close friend - tells me that Jeon is “the kind of guy who’s effortless.  He’ll try anything and be good at almost everything.  He was made for this.”  

A lot of young celebrities want to be creators but Jeon actually embodies being one.  He gives respect where it’s due, detailing all the long hours he spends writing and in the studio.  “It’s not easy - it takes a ton of work - but that’s what you sign up for.  ‘If you want the career-changing big fish, you gotta be willing to put on the big boy panties and sail out to the deep water.’”  I don’t recognize the quote right away.  Turns out it’s from one of the Fast and Furious movies.

By the time we part ways - he insists on footing the bill, pulling out bills from a Prada bi-fold which he acknowledges with a simple “don’t tell” - I realize nearly five hours have passed.  I get it now.  

It seems that Jeon’s a paradox, equal parts refusal to play by the established Hollywood rules but also someone who wants everything that comes with meeting the expectations.  Someone who wants to have his cake and eat it too.  If anyone can do it, it’s likely him.

cr.  i dare u @ twitter

[ghost-in-the-hella]

J: “Join me for a swim?” with PriceMarsh, because I can't get enough of this ship.

Some soft pricemarsh for these troubled times. Enjoy.

---

Kate says a silent prayer before she approaches the woman sitting on the beach. She suspects that Chloe’s not the praying kind, and given the way people in Blackwell and around town never seem to have a kind word to say about her she’d be surprised if anybody else spoke to God on her behalf. And maybe Chloe prefers it that way. They haven’t talked about religion much in the few weeks of their budding friendship, but she’s pretty sure that Chloe is an atheist. “What kind of God would take my dad away when I was only fourteen?” For some people, tragedy brings them closer to God. For others, it pushes them away. But Chloe doesn’t make fun of her for being religious (unlike most people at Blackwell) and Kate doesn’t try to dissuade her from her own beliefs, so they get along beautifully. Everyone has their own path to walk in life, after all.

Kate’s path leads her toward Chloe’s slumped back and bowed head as she sits in the cooling sand and the fading light.

Chloe’s head doesn’t turn as Kate approaches, even though Kate’s footsteps in the sand aren’t exactly silent. It does raise slightly in acknowledgement, however, and Kate assumes that’s as close as she’s going to get to a greeting tonight. 

Kate’s not sure how long Chloe’s been sitting there, staring out at the slow waters of the bay. Chloe had texted her three times after midnight, which Kate of course didn’t see until she woke up at eight. Kate’s texted her five times since then at careful intervals so as to not seem too concerned, and Chloe hasn’t responded to a single one of them. She even tried calling Chloe despite phone calls not being a standard part of their friendship at this point, but she didn’t try again after it went immediately to voicemail. 

Kate’s never regretted not learning to drive so much before. It’s been sort of nice, actually, since Chloe’s got her truck and loves driving. Kate not wanting to ride the bus everywhere has been a good excuse for both of them to advance their friendship beyond “casual but amiable acquaintance” to “person I actively go out of my way to spend time with.” Today, however, not being able to drive has been a serious hindrance. It’s hard to search for someone when you’re reliant on small town bus routes and schedules. Once she started to really worry about Chloe’s silence and start looking for her, it took her nearly three hours to track her down at the beach.

She stops and stands next to where Chloe’s sitting in the sand. “Hey,” she says evenly, as if she hasn’t been clawing her hair out trying to find this woman half the day. 

“Hey,” Chloe answers without looking at her.

“...I got your texts.” Chloe doesn’t respond, so Kate continues, “I didn’t see them until I woke up; I’m sorry. I wasn’t ignoring you.”

Chloe nods thoughtfully, processing this. “My battery died. Didn’t want to go home to charge it.”

Kate can’t blame her for that. “Is it okay if I sit with you?”

Chloe turns to her then and looks at her with those clear blue eyes. It doesn’t seem fair that such beautiful eyes should have to hold such sadness. The light isn’t great, but Kate’s pretty sure she sees a smudge of a bruise beneath one, and that makes her stomach twist all the tighter. “Sure, whatever.” Chloe trains her eyes on the bay once more, but Kate can still feel them piercing her heart. 

Kate tucks her skirt around her legs carefully as she settles by Chloe’s side. The sand is damp and the warmth of the day is mostly gone from it. She looks at the woman beside her. She’s not wearing her beanie for once. She’s wearing short sleeves and her pale, too-thin arms are covered with goosebumps. Without even thinking, Kate removes her cardigan and drapes it over Chloe’s bare shoulders. Chloe glances at her in barely masked surprise. Kate thinks for a moment she’s going to object, but she just wraps her arms around herself and tugs the borrowed cardigan a little tighter around her shoulders.

Kate feels like she should say something, but Chloe breaks the heavy silence while she’s still trying to piece her words together. “Kinda late to come to the beach. Sun’s almost down. ‘Most everyone’s gone home.”

“I didn’t come for the beach. I came for you.”

Chloe’s brows lift then furrow. “Why.”

Because when she woke up to Chloe’s texts and saw how long ago she’d sent them, Kate had almost immediately gone into a panic spiral. Because Kate had texted and called and couldn’t reach her. Because Kate was terrified that Chloe was hurt and had nowhere to go and no one to talk to. “I wanted to make sure you were okay. You weren’t at the junkyard or the diner, so I thought you might be here or maybe the lighthouse.”

“Not a whole lot of places to go in this town,” Chloe says, and maybe it’s a trick of the non-light but Kate would swear that her expression softened when Kate told her she’d been looking for her. “I used to come here all the time,” Chloe continues. “My dad used to take me and my friend Max here every weekend in the summer. When we got old enough, we’d take the bus by ourselves and stay here all day. We practically lived in the bay.” She chuckles softly to herself. “She - Max - used to tease me I was going to turn into a mermaid because I spent more time in the water than on the land.”

Kate can picture that. Chloe’s got long arms and longer legs, built for swimming. Her hair wouldn’t have been blue when she was a child, Kate assumes, but Kate can imagine how it would look now: blue and purple locks flowing with the waves, fanning out around her head like a soft halo. The vivid reds and greens and blues of her tattoo extra bright against the pale of her skin, all shimmering under the water and glittering with reflected light. Long fingers cupping brackish water, lean body moving through the bay like she was born to do nothing else. “Punk rock mermaid,” Kate says a bit dreamily, already picturing how she would draw her. 

Chloe huffs a small laugh. “Nah, not when I was a kid. I was a pretty big dweeb if you can believe it. Super into science, major anime nerd, drew comics, all that stuff.”

Kate can believe it, actually, but she keeps that to herself. 

The smile that had been growing on Chloe’s lips fades away. “Rach loves swimming, too. After Max left - her family moved to Seattle; same day as my dad’s funeral, can you believe that shit? - I didn’t go swimming for a long time. Probably for the best; I would’ve just drowned myself.” She picks at the cuticles of her chewed up fingernails fretfully and Kate suppresses the powerful urge to pull her into a comforting embrace and stroke her hair like her father has always done for her when she’s upset. “But Rach is a Cali girl, so even though our bay’s nothing compared to the Pacific she just has to go swimming. Like, constantly. Day and night. The girl’s blood is half salt water, I swear.”

Kate’s got this anxious bubbling in her stomach that she doesn’t know how to quell. She knows of Rachel Amber, but she doesn’t know her. She went missing last April, three months before Kate moved into the dorms. Everything she knows about Rachel she knows from the unavoidable gossip in the dorms, the graffiti scattered around town - some of it doting, most of it unrepeatably vile, and Chloe. 

She actually met Chloe because of Rachel Amber, oddly enough. Or, more precisely, she met Chloe because Rachel Amber went missing. One day Chloe happened to be hanging up missing person posters around campus while Kate was putting up flyers for the abstinence club, and when Kate saw what Chloe was posting (when she saw Chloe’s eyes) she had offered to help her distribute them. They’d gotten to talking as they worked, and by the time the posters were all hung they’d exchanged numbers.

Kate owes this friendship (this crush) to Rachel. And Rachel’s been missing for five months now. No matter how many posters they hang, no matter how many prayers Kate sends up for this lost girl to be found, she’s been missing for almost half a year. Chloe still talks about her like she expects to see her coming around the corner any minute now sometimes. Kate doesn’t know whether encouraging Chloe’s hope does more good or more harm at this point. Women who go missing for this long, beautiful young women like Rachel Amber… Kate wants to have faith in Rachel’s safety, but her mother’s been telling her horror stories about what happens to girls like her since before Kate was even old enough to understand.

“So we go swimming together a lot. Not now, obviously. But… yeah. Total punk rock mermaids.” She scoffs lightly, but Kate can hear the sorrow in her laugh. “I… I haven’t gone swimming in months. Not since she…” Chloe sighs. She shakes her head and tries to sound annoyed rather than heartbroken. “Missed the whole fucking summer. Now it’s probably too cold to swim. She’s probably been off surfing in Cali all summer, and I’ve just been staring at the bay like she’s coming in on the next boat. How pathetic is that?”

“It’s not pathetic at all. You miss your friend.” Kate reaches out a tentative hand and is relieved 

when Chloe accepts her touch without so much as a flinch. 

“I miss the bay,” Chloe says suddenly. “I miss the way it felt to just run out into the waves and not give a fuck. I miss feeling weightless and small and like if I swam far enough I could step out into a pirate’s treasure cove, or on some forgotten island, and start a new life. I miss feeling free.”

Kate’s never been swimming in the bay. She spent her summer here ingratiating herself with the local parish, learning the bus schedule, breaking in her library card. She stands carefully, dusting the sticky sand off her skirt. 

Chloe looks at her askance. “Heading home?”

Kate shakes her head. She reaches out a hand to Chloe. “Join me for a swim?” Kate asks, and her voice hardly trembles even though she’s beyond nervous. 

Chloe stares at her like she’s sprouted a second head and then she laughs in disbelief. “Are you for real?”

“Very much so.”

“You got a bathing suit on under your clothes, Kit-Kat?”

“Do you?”

“No.” Chloe tries to leer, but it’s so uncertain it falls apart before it can look properly devious. “You askin’ me to go skinny dipping? I thought you were supposed to be a prude about that stuff.”

“I’m not a prude,” Kate protests, her face reddening. “But no, I’m not asking you to go skinny dipping. Or at least I’m not going skinny dipping; you can do as you please.” She slips off her shoes, and good Lord, this really is a terrible idea, isn’t it. She’s not dressed for swimming in the slightest. Her blouse is white, and her skirt is, well, a skirt, but it’s too late to back out now just because she’s had a sudden attack of logic since Chloe’s already taking her hand (and oh Lord Chloe’s hand is so cold and so strong and so perfect) and hauling herself up to her feet.

“Gonna be a weird ride back to campus,” Chloe says with a grin that’s building in its certainty. “Wet jeans are hell to drive in. You know my heater doesn’t work, right?”

“I’ve ridden in your truck before, haven’t I?”

“True that.” Chloe removes Kate’s cardigan and folds it with surprising politeness by her shoes before tugging off her boots and dropping them haphazardly into the sand. She empties her pockets onto the pile of clothes: a crumpled cigarette pack, some loose change, a parking ticket, a key, a lighter, her phone. Kate places her handbag beside them. “You ready to do this thing?”

Kate nods quickly before she can chicken out. “Are you?”

The smile that lights up Chloe’s face is the most radiant thing that Kate’s ever seen. “Hella ready.” Chloe reaches out her hand again, and Kate takes it. 

The water is cold, and swimming in a skirt is just as difficult as Kate feared. It’s completely worth it.

[thephantomofthe-internet]

Piercings and Polaroids

Billy Hargrove x Reader

Word Count: 4,984

Warnings: Piercings, blood, needles, swearing, sexuality (eluded to)

Tag List: @moonstruckhargrove @thechickvic @carolimedanvers @hotstuffhargrove @alex--awesome--22 @lilmissperfectlyimperfect @so-not-hotmess @agentsinstorybrooke @sunflowercandie @kaliforniacoastalteens @songforhema @mickmoon @buckybarneshairpullingkink @marvelismylifffe @spidey-pal

Starcourt got boring after awhile. Once the lustre of new stores and fast food restaurants died off, people stopped shopping and starting soaking up the A/C like snakes under heat lamps. You didn’t mind, it just meant that you could spend your afternoons flipping through magazines and listening to the ad-free mall radio.

“Hey bitch!” someone slapped the counter loudly and you looked up boredly from your copy of Cosmo. Heather was standing in front of you with a devilish grin, her hair damp from the pool and her signature red Ray-Bands jammed on the top of her thick brown curls, most of which were piled high on the top of her head in a messy attempt at a ponytail, half tied and falling apart.

“Hi Heather...” you signed, laying the magazine open on the counter. Heather was your best friend, although it had begun to feel more and more strained as you both got older. Heather and you were very different people. You were a band geek, a tutor, and a slave to the mall. Heather was a cheerleader, the head of the yearbook committee, and one of the infamous ‘lifeguard hotties’ of the Hawkins Community Pool. She was a popular princess; a daddy’s girl with his platinum card wrapped around her little finger. You were from a broken home with an exhausting home life, and someone who should’ve been an ignored loser. Without Heather defending you, you would be bullied to bits by girls like Carol and Tina. But with her, you felt like a sheep in wolf’s clothing.

She leaned her elbows on the counter, smiling giddily “So, how’s your summer of piercing baby ears going?” she asked with a devious giggle, her sunglasses falling onto her nose and her mouth curling into a devilish grin.

You rolled your eyes “I’ve only seen one baby get pierced, I mostly pierce like middle schoolers. Today, I gave Mrs. Blythe her second hole. She bought three packs of neon studs and said they were for her daughter. Trying to look younger or some shit.” You replied, popping a strip of bright pink bubblegum into your sticky pink mouth, your cheap drugstore lipstick gunking in the corners of your lips. It was obvious that Heather had stopped listening after the first sentence, her mouth open in a yawn.

“Boring! You haven’t done anything cool all day? You know what me and Jeff did?” she asked, bouncing on her heels. She leaned over the counter, cupping a hand over her mouth as she leant in to your ear “We did it in the locker room showers. And Jessica Abrams totally walked in on us and freaked out! She totally got all red and teary it was totally embarrassing!” she whispered.

You pulled away, your face turned up in disgust. “That’s disgusting!” you gagged, squeezing your eyes shut as the image of Jeff’s douchey smirk came into view, turning into an ‘O’ face that made you want to hurl.

Heather cackled “He wasn’t even that good! I have no idea why Jessica’s been going on about it!” she cried, slapping the counter with her bare hand.

“Maybe because they were like two seconds away from being a couple and you got in the way.” You replied, deadpan. Sometimes Heather was a real bitch. This was one of those times. Poor Jessica had been following around that jerk since April and just when she’s about to get over him, he decides to pay her the time of day. And just when he seemed to genuinely like, Heather had to get bored and took Jeff away. Poor Jessica didn’t even know what hit her.

Heather scoffed, rolling her eyes at your comment. “That’s not the most interesting part of my shift though! I brought you a live one!” she giggled. You felt your blood run cold. Heather had no concept of what was appropriate ever. She had almost gotten you fired twice. This was not a good thing.

Heather waved someone over as you stared on wide eyed. Before you could even tell Heather to stop whatever she was trying to do, Billy Hargrove was standing in front of you, visibly put off by the children running around the shop and the bright, colourful decor. His eyes scanned yours boredly, his eyes narrowing judgementally.

“Alright, it’s piercing time!” Heather cried, clapping excitedly.

You sighed, rolling your eyes “Alright, the piercing package costs thirty bucks. You pick your piercing from the case.” You pointed down into the glass case below you, lit up and filled with silver butterflies, flowers, stars, and other girly designs. “You just want the other ear, right?”

Billy’s eyes scanned the case, his eyes narrowing further, his upper lip curling up in disgust. “Nah, my nose.” He replied, his voice monotone.

“Yeah, you can’t do that here.” You said, matching his tone. Billy looked quickly, his eyes blowing out in annoyance, looking between you and Heather.

Heather’s expression shifted and she laughed awkwardly “Of course you can!” she leaned over to you once Billy’s was sated enough to return to the difficult choice between the only ball studs in the case, one silver and one gold. “Don’t be fucking lame, Y/N…” she whispered harshly.

“I’m not being lame, it’s literally not something I can do.” You pulled the heavy, clunky piercing gun out from its drawer “This thing is literally only meant for ear lobes. It’s all I can pierce. Anything else I try will get super fucked up.” You explained, flashing the grey and white gun to the pair. It looked like a glorified hot glue gun, except splattered with a bit of dried blood.

Billy turned his attention to Heather, obviously annoyed “You said she could do it. I bought a nose ring in Carmel cause she could do it.” He grunted, obviously annoyed.

Heather looked over at you with her giant, pleading eyes, and for a brief moment you felt bad. Heather was just trying to look cool to this cooler, more popular guy and it had fallen flat so fast. You owed her something, for all the things she’d done for you over the years. With the barest of restrained sigh, you spoke up “Look, I can’t pierce your nose here, but I can do it at my place.” You said.

Billy scowled “Yeah? You got any proof?” he asked. He was getting more annoyed by the second; his expression growing harder and angrier if that was even possible.

You raised an eyebrow, tapping the small silver ring in your left nostril “Did this myself. Did all my piercings myself. How do think I got this job?” you countered. In truth, you’d done a mail in course and passed a piercing test on a rubber practise head. You were licensed in a week by Claire’s. You couldn’t even transfer the license to any other brand; they made it very clear in the paperwork you filled out.

Billy nodded, looking over your work. You guessed that it was satisfactory enough to him because a small smirk pulled at his lips. “What time you finished up here?” he asked. Heather cheered loudly, grabbing Billy’s bicep excitedly.

“I got like fifteen minutes left. Heather knows my address if you just wanna leave with her. I’ll meet you there.” You replied, looking over to your manager, who nodded for you to start your closing out.

“No way! You took the bus here, we’ll wait.” Heather said quickly “We’ll meet you in the food court.” She pulled Billy out of the shop with a wide grin, waving to you and mouthing ‘so hot!’ when he wasn’t looking. You chuckled, shaking your head. Heather thought every guy was hot, it didn’t mean much. But you wouldn’t deny that Billy was hot. Even with his cocky attitude and that ugly tattoo on his bicep that he insisted on showing off. You swore he’d cut all the sleeves off his tee shirts just to show off that stupid skull smoking a cigarette. Who the hell wanted that on their body forever?!? You weren’t too attracted to that level of ego, but Billy held a bit of interest around himself. There was some mystery, an aura of intrigue he seemed to hold around himself effortlessly, and that kept you interested enough to pay attention when you heard his name. He was just closed off enough to keep everyone guessing about him.

You took your time with your duties, making sure to snatch up the small silver ‘H’ earrings Heather had been eyeing for weeks now. They were in the case, so you were only supposed to be able to get them if you were getting a piercing in house. You’d convinced your boss to sell them to you, since you were an employee and wouldn’t tell anyone about it, and she agreed. You had intended to give them to Heather on her birthday, but there was no time like the present.

You half hoped that Heather and Billy would forget about you. You had this sickening feeling that it would be a tiresome ride. But to your chagrin they were waiting for you in the food court. Heather had gotten herself an Orange Julius and seemed to have put all her attention into the straw in her mouth, you assumed she was trying to put on a bit of a show for Billy, but he wasn’t paying much attention to her. You joined the group and endured quite possibly the longest and worst car ride of your life. Heather took over the front seat; it seemed that Billy had driven her to the mall, seeing as how her stinky work stuff was shoved in the back seat with Billy’s and, unfortunately, you. The entire back seat stunk like chlorine and mould, you guessed that one of them had forgotten a towel or swimsuit in their bag or under the seat for long enough to let it stink up the car. But that wasn’t the worst part, Billy didn’t seem to have A/C so all the windows were popped open and fresh air was blasting in your face and killing the smell, the worst part was that Heather seemed to think that this car ride was the perfect time to shamelessly flirt with Billy. She tried to pull her feet on the seat, but Billy didn’t want shoes on the leather, so she took off her flip flops but that was worse apparently. So she spent the whole time cooing about how hot he was and touching his arms and neck and hair. Touching his hair almost got her hand bit off. You wanted desperately for her to stop, you tried to tell her to cool it, but she told you to shut up. You didn’t bother after that.

But Billy seemed to notice that. He kept looking at you through the rear view, at first you thought he was just checking behind himself as he drove, but he was doing it too often for it to make sense. Then you finally let him catch your eye and he smiled. Well, it was more of a lopsided smirk, but you took it as a compliment. He hadn’t even attempted to smile the whole time he was around you, but now, with Motley Crüe blasting through the speakers and the wind whipping up everyone’s hair, he was apparently happy to have you around. You took it as a sign of gratitude for at least trying to get Heather to calm her hormones and just smiled back.

You directed Billy to your place, well at least you attempted to. Heather took over easily, drowning you out. “Y/N’s place is right over there-oh! Is your mom home? She’s gonna get pissed if you have a boy in your room; remember what happened when she caught Carl Simpson in your room? God, I can’t believe you lived through that!” she cackled loudly, her intent most definitely to make you blush. You simply rolled your eyes.

“Yeah, no she’s working late. She’s always working late.” You said, trying to hide the annoyed bite to your voice, masking it with a laugh. Heather just continued to cackle loudly, which hid your defeated sigh. Billy parked on the street without you having to ask and he climbed out angrily. You rushed to get ahead of the group, keys jingling in your hand, and unlocked the door.

“If you don’t mind, can you take your shoes off?” you asked as a wave of A/C smacked you in the face. You kicked off your sneakers as Heather and Billy stared at you, dumbfounded.

“Ugh, come on Y/N! That’s weird!” Heather moaned, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Heather. You know if I get shoe prints all over the tile, my mom will get pissed. You never have a problem with it when we’re hanging out, so don’t be a weirdo now.” You replied. Billy simply kicked off his own shoes, leaving Heather to groan loudly but to follow suit. Then and only then did you let them trek through your house and into your bedroom. You lived in a bungalow, so your room was at the back of the house, facing your backyard.

“Alright, you want your nose, yeah?” you asked, popping open your front door and heading to your bookshelf. You dug through your worn paperbacks until your fingers hit the firm spine of Catch 22. You pulled it off the shelf, popping open the cover and revealing the carved out middle. Your mother was the type to rifle through your stuff to try to catch you doing something wrong. You made the hiding spot solely to keep things that she’d take away. Inside, you had some spare cash, for emergencies, your hollow needle, and the silver barbells you’d bought to use when you pierced your nipples, which you’d been meaning to get around to. You’d promised your mother that you’d stop piercing people. She’d found the bloody needle and freaked out. Usually, it wasn’t that much of a blood bath, but you’d pierced Samantha Burke’s upper cartilage that day and underestimated both how much it would hurt her and how much of a mess it would make. You swore up and down that you’d stop, but your wannabe cool classmates paid big bucks for you to pierce their ears. There’d been an insane influx of boys wanting their ears pierced after seeing how popular Billy was. You didn’t correct them when they wanted the left ear, especially if they were dicks, and you took the cash happily. What your mother didn’t know didn’t hurt her.

“Yeah.” Billy said stiffly. He stood in the middle of your room, unsure what to do with yourself. You only lived a street down from him, too close to his father for comfort. His father already didn’t like the earring, doing his nose could get him in even deeper shit. He was willing to risk it though, purely to look cool.

“Which nostril, left or right?” you asked, bending down to reach into the lowest drawer of your desk, pulling out a lighter and, flicking open the flame, running it over the needle to sanitize it.

Billy chucked “Neither, I want the bull ring.” He said proudly, puffing out his chest. You looked up from the flame, looking him over for any signs of bluff. He looked too serious about this.

You nodded “Alright, I’ve never done a septum ring, but I’ve done the cartilage before, shouldn’t be any different.” You replied with a shrug “You got a big enough nose ring on you? Or am I cleaning and selling you one of mine?”

Billy reached into the pocket of his jeans, pulling out a silver ring. It looked like it was actually made for a nose, which was a good sign. You’d pierced enough idiots to know that people think that any old earring would work in their nose or eyebrow or lip.

Heather was completely agog “No way, Bill! You can’t do your nose like that! I hate that!” she cried. Both you and Billy looked over at him, bouncing on your twin bed angrily. You raised an eyebrow at Billy, who seemed to understand the look immediately: ‘are you two dating?’ He shook his head.

You closed your eyes, trying not to strangle your friend. She always seemed to think that the world and people’s choices revolved around her. Instead of freaking out, you simply nodded “Heather, you want your second hole today? We can do it really fast before Billy’s nose.” You said.

“Oh duh! But I didn’t bring my earrings and I’m not paying for a set of yours, so unless you’re coughing up a pair for free, I’ll wait.” She replied, crossing her arms over her chest.

You flicked the lighter closed, placing the needle on your desk and pushing yourself onto your feet, reaching into your purse. You pulled out the earrings, tossing them to your friend. “Here, happy birthday.” You smirked. Heather caught them and squealed loudly, clutching them to her chest and kicking out her legs.

“Thank you!” she cried, reaching out to grab your neck and hug you tight. You chuckled, patting her back awkwardly.

“Okay! We’ll do yours first, go grab like a full tray of ice from downstairs, okay? And a roll of paper towel.” You instructed. Heather jumped to her feet, rushing downstairs as fast as she could. You resumed what you were doing, grabbing your lighter to disinfect the needle one more time.

“You wanna see what those things look like when they get ripped out?” you asked, turning your attention to Billy, who had taken to looking through your shelves boredly.

“What things?” he asked, his tone annoyed and deeply tired.

“The bull rings.” You replied. Billy hummed and you took that as the go ahead to grab the picture from your copy of Catch 22, pulling the Polaroid from underneath the cash. You handed it to Billy wordlessly.

The image was gruesome. It was of a guy, a few years older than Billy and you, with a bright red mohawk and dressed in a suit. He stood next to who Billy could only assume was the dude’s bride in an ugly reception hall. But that wasn’t the gruesome part; the part that made Billy’s stomach turn was the guy’s nose. It was mangled beyond belief, shrunken and crumpled. The guy only had one full nostril, the left one turned into a short of half open hole, a bunch of cartilage gone and gaping. It was quite honestly gross.

Billy cringed as he examined the guy. You took the moment to explain. “That’s cousin and her husband, Ben. Total punk rockers. Like three months before the wedding, I went with them to a Pixies concert and we all went to the mosh pit together. I guess I looked at this girl’s boyfriend or maybe I looked at her wrong because she tried to pick a fight with me. Ben stepped in, and before he could even say anything to her, she reached up and yanked out his nose ring. It tore the cartilage and he had to have his whole nose reconstructed. He couldn’t afford to have the nostril reconstructive surgery on top of the general nose reconstruction to save his one solid nostril and the bridge from collapsing.” You said.

Billy looked up, trying to bring his expression back to a neutral one “Why are you telling me this?” he asked, handing you back the picture.

You sighed “Look, everyone in the town knows that you get into fights. Having a big ole ring in the middle of your nose is just a really good place to grab for someone who wants an easy win on a fight.”

Billy scoffed “Only girls grab at shit to make a fight easier.”

You shrugged “Maybe, but I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t try to not get their ass beat by a guy twice their size.” You replied, popping the picture back into your kit.

Billy sighed “Would you do the left or right side then?” he asked.

You smirked slightly, looking him over. You bought your hands to his hands, which made Billy gasp slightly with his mouth shut. You ignore it, turning his face to the left and right, examining each side. The right side was better.

“Honestly? I wouldn’t do either. It’s not your look.” You said, letting his face go. He was very pretty up close, which gave you all the more reason to pull away before you did something stupid.

“Well I want something!” he cried and you laughed. Billy smirked as your face broke into a grin. It was the first genuine smile you’d had all day and it was quite pretty. He thought you were prettier than Heather, although he wouldn’t admit that if he still wanted the blow job Heather had been eluding to wanting to give all day.

“I can pierce your other ear, or give you a second hole on your right ear.” You said. Billy cringed and shook his head at both options. You thought for a second before a daring idea came into your head. You hesitated to give it, purely because you’d spent money on it for yourself, but you felt bad for making him give up on the idea.

“How about your nipples?” you said. Billy’s mouth fell open slightly, but he swallowed slightly, closing it. He’d never thought about piercing his nipples, but he immediately liked the idea.

“You ever pierce a nipple?” he asked, leaning closer to you. He was really hoping you’d say yes. He could feel himself warming up just at the thought of a great pair of tits with silver barbells glinting in the sunlight.

“No, but I had planned to-if you’re worried about me fucking up, I can do one of mine first.” You said, pulling the silver barbells of his dreams out of the book and flashing them to him with a smile.

“Oh no sweetheart...I trust you. But you gotta let me do yours if you want them done.” He replied.

“You do piercings?” you asked sceptically, placing the barbells on your desk.

“Doesn’t seem too hard.” He replied, inching closer to you. You back into your desk, exactly where he wanted you.

You chuckled, pressing a hand into his chest, and pushing him off you. “Yeah, the only amateur I get pierced by is myself, that way if I fuck up I have no one to blame but myself.” You explained. Heather burst in right on cue, ice melting down her hand and a damp paper towel roll in hand.

“Sorry! Took awhile to find the paper towel.” She announced, plopping the roll on your desk and tray next to it.

“It’s cool, you ready to do this?” you asked her. She furrowed her brow nervously, but you gestured to your desk chair. She sat down and gripped the arms to ease her shaking hands. You grabbed a cube from the tray and pressed it to her left lobe. “Alright, hold that there for a second sweetheart, I gotta unpack your earrings.” You reached for the package and pulled off the tape that secured the backings to the earrings. You pulled the cheap backing off the spoke and released the ‘H’ from the teal plastic hanger and placed it flat on the desktop.

“Nice and numb?” you asked. Heather bit down hard on her lip and nodded. You grabbed a black sharpie and marked her lobe. “Alright we’re going to count to three, take a deep breath with me, okay?” you took in a deep breath and Heather followed, shutting her eyes. You grabbed the needle and placed it against the marking.

“Let the breath go.” You huffed the breath out and when Heather did the same you plunged the needle into her lobe. She squealed but you counted loudly over it “One, two,” you grabbed the earring, placing it into the hole in the needle and pulling it through “Three. There, you’re halfway done.” You said, capped the earring and wiping down the needle with a bit of paper towel. Earlobes don’t generally bleed much and your needle came through practically clean, but you wiped it down anyway, if only to calm her nerves.

“Are you okay for me to do one more?” you asked. Heather nodded and you grabbed another cube from the tray, pressing it to the right lobe. The process repeated again and Billy watched on baited breath. At first, he was only interested in staring at your ass and imagining filthy things at the idea of you hovering over Heather and making her bite her lips for other reasons. But Heather wasn’t the interesting part of this image; it was you with your kind words and gentle but firm touches. Even when he got bored of the fantasy, he still watched you, utterly transfixed by you. Heather’s squeal pulled him out of his fantasy and back into the warm light of your bedroom. You capped the back of the second earring, stepping back to admire your work.

“Do they look alright?” Heather reached up to touch the new pierces, as if they weren’t real. As if she didn’t feel them stab through her head.

“They’re completely crooked.” You said, deadpan. Heather gasped loudly and you backtracked quickly “I’m kidding! I’m kidding! They look great!” Heather smacked you hard in the stomach, forcing herself out of the chair and over to your bed.

“We doing this, Hargrove?” you turned to him, looking him over confidently. He nodded, licking his lips. “Alright, lay down, Heather I’m gonna need you to move.” Billy tore off his shirt and Heather’s mouth dropped open as you ran the flame over the needle again.

“Oh my god what is going on?” Heather asked, practically drooling.

You rolled your ice “Heather, move your ass and grab me some ice. Billy, which side we doing here?” you asked, grabbing the package of silver barbells and ripping it open, pulling out one and bringing it over to the bed.

“Right.” He said confidently and you took the ice from Heather, straddling Billy and pressing the ice to his nipple. Billy shivered under you and you smirked.

“Heather, pass me the sharpie.” You said, keeping your eyes locked on his.

“This is insane...” Heather breathed, passing you the black marker. “Where’s your camera?”

“Nightstand drawer.” You replied, uncapping the marker with your teeth. Billy turned sharply to look for Heather, his face turning into a snarl. You leaned down, grabbing his chin and turning him back to you. His mouth fell open slightly as you leaned into his ear, whispering “Relax, you look hot...” you breathed hot air onto his neck as you spoke and his skin broke into goose bumps.

“You numb?” you asked. Billy nodded, even though he didn’t think his senses could be less numb if he tried, all of his nerves were alert and on edge. “Good...” you muttered, marking the spot for your needle and unscrewed one end of the barbell. You heard a click and saw the flash go off in the corner of your eye, but you ignored it, focusing on the warm skin under your hands.

You looked him over with a smirk “You need a countdown or are you gonna be a big man for me?” you asked, another flash trying to spot your vision. Billy swallowed hard and let out a small yelp, nodding confidently despite the sound coming out of his throat. “Good boy...” you whispered, shoving the needle through the hardened pink flesh. You felt every inch of him tense up as the pain shot through the bundle of nerves you’d just stabbed through. You mistook the final flash of the camera for stars as you felt him stiffen under your ass. You slid the barbell into the hollow end and slid the needle through, screwing the ball back on.

You smiled, admiring your work for climbing off him and dropping the needle on the mattress. “Alright, use rubbing alcohol to clean those at least once a day. I am not responsible for any infections you get because you can’t take care of yourself.” You explained, pulling your white tee shirt back over your hips. Billy sat up slowly, drinking you in like a cool glass of water, his mouth turning up as you turned around, packing up your kit and returning it to your hiding places.

“My mom’s gonna be home soon and I really wanna change. You good to take Heather home?” you turned your attention to Billy and he nodded slowly.

Heather got up, pulling you into a tight hug and sliding something into your back pocket. “Call me later?” she asked. You nodded, shoving your hands into your back pockets once she let go. Thick and glossy, they had to be the photos. You smirked; you’d look those over once she was gone. Heather headed out of the room as Billy examined himself in your full length mirror before tossing his shirt over his shoulder.

“You alright?” you asked, coming up behind him in the mirror.

“Just admiring your handiwork,” he replied, cocking his head to look at you “You think I can come back and get the other one done?” he asked.

“Sure...” you replied, looking him over slowly “Maybe you leave Heather behind next time.” Billy chuckled darkly, nodding slowly as his tongue slipped out of his mouth again.

“Alright then...I’ll see you around.” You said. You wanted to look over your pictures before you made any plans. You had to know if it looked as hot as it felt. But you had a feeling that it was more than you could ever imagine, no matter how hard you had tried in the past.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #440

from a day or two ago.

Do you drink a lot of soda? I definitely do. :/ I'd lose weight so much easier if I could drop the habit. Are tomatoes the best food in the world? I don't like tomatoes unless they're very fresh and on a mayo and bacon sandwich. Have you seen The Blindside? I actually haven't. Do you have a favorite local pizza place? Not really. There's a place I like that isn't huge, but I don't have like, a serious passion for or loyalty to it. Would you date someone 10+ years older than you? Meh, I think ten years is my cut-off. Are you due for a haircut? For sure. >_< Are you dealing with any health-related problems right now? Yeah. Even with my APAP mask, because I apparently move it too much in my sleep, I'm struggling with my sleep apnea nightmares/terrors. Do your parents like the music you listen to? Most of it. Do your parents approve of your beliefs? Not all of them, no. How many different digital cameras have you owned in your life? How about cell phones? Cell phones, idk. I've had two "pro" cameras. Do you typically do your make up the same each time? Or do you like to change it up often? It's pretty much always the same. Who is the last person you were in a room with just the two of you? What were you doing? Mom. We worked together on my room. What do you usually order at Subway? Turkey, bacon, American cheese, pickles, banana peppers, and chipotle on I want to say Italian bread. How long is your mother’s hair? It's hard to say, because it's all poofy now versus wavy like before it had to be shaved off. Don't repeat it to her ever, but she has, uh... "old lady hair" now, ha ha. What is your favourite car brand? I don’t care. Whose chore is it to clean the bathrooms in your house? My mom does it. Pick your three favourite fruits. Strawberries, kiwi, and uhhh... apples. Or pineapple. Have you ever played Cards Against Humanity? Yeah. We used to play that a lot at Colleen's house on nights we had some drinks. Who were the last friends you went to hang out with? Oh jeez, idk. I haven't hung out with a friend in a long time. How many chairs are in the room you’re currently in? Zero. I'm in my bedroom. Are you bored right now? I'm bored almost every waking hour of my days. Have you ever seen a pelican in real life? I'm actually not sure. What’s important about April? My younger sister's birthday is in April. Is there anyone who hates you? Jason probably does. Would you consider adoption? Not for me personally. What’s the largest animal you’ve ever had as a pet? Our late boxer mix. Do you own any kind of helmet? No. Do you ever put fruit on your cereal? Noooo. How do you usually celebrate your favorite holiday? My younger sister comes over here and we open our presents with Mom, who also cooks a nice breakfast. We then go to my older sister's house for the day to watch the kids open presents from their extended family. I say "extended" because the kids obviously aren't going to wait for us to get there to open the majority of their gifts from their parents, ha ha. What’s a few facts about the last person that talked to you? She's from New York, has five kids, has survived cancer (one almost advanced to a fatal level) twice, she loves owls, and recently graduated with her bachelor's in social work (it's never too late, people). What would happen if you had a baby with the last person you kissed? We're both cisgender females. Where is the biggest scar on your body? It's probably where I had a cyst removal, which is in a spot I can't see. Would you date someone who was addicted to drugs? Absolutely not. I am NOT getting involved in that. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you? I'd go to the gym sooner. Have you ever kissed anyone with a tattoo? Hmmm... I think Tyler actually may have had a The Legend of Zelda tattoo? I can't really remember. If not him, then no. Have you ever kissed someone you weren’t dating? No, but I've been kissed by someone I wasn't dating. Do you know anyone who drinks a lot? Yes. What were you afraid of the most when you were a kid? Being separated from/losing my mom. Do you like to make the first move? No. When was the last time you completely broke down? A few weeks ago when I was having a PTSD episode. Are you listening to any music? No; I'm watching Gab play Final Fantasy X. Is your hair long enough to put in a ponytail? No. Has someone ever told you they want to spend the rest of their life with you? Hm, it's funny, I don't see him anymore. Have you ever peed in the woods? No. Have you ever played Twister? Yeah, I liked playing it as a kid. Are you looking for a boyfriend//girlfriend? Not actively, no. I really don't need one right now. Out of all of your friends who have you gotten in the worst fight with? Of all friends I've EVER had, probably Colleen. Of the friends I still have, maybe Sara. What is the last microwaveable meal you had? I've been on a SERIOUS grilled chicken pesto kick lately. Mom buys these small Healthy Choice (or some brand like that) bowls that you put in the microwave and then pour the noodles and chicken into the sauce after and mix, and oh my GOOOOOOOOOOOD it is so good. What would you consider a talent of yours? Assuming the worst out of every imaginable situation. If Hogwarts was a real place and you were able to attend, what class do you think you’d excel at? According to those little quizzes I've taken, I lean mostly towards Hufflepuff, but with Gryffindor traits as well. Would you rather learn more about space or more about the ocean? Well, ideally, space, but I think learning much more about our ocean would be more beneficial to our planet and our prosperity on Earth. Do you have a mental illness? If yes, how have you learned to cope with it? If no, do you ever suspect you may have one? I have a lot. My bipolarity, OCD, and PTSD are *mostly* under control, but I most certainly still have trouble sometimes. My anxiety and AvPD are still rabid fucking hounds. My depression was well-managed not even that long ago, but life circumstances have it so it's been more aggressive than what was usual. Do you have a favorite character from The Avengers? I dunno, I like Loki ig. Thor is cool, too. It's been WAY too long since I've seen that movie. What type of cake would you like right now? Double chocolate cake sounds great rn. @_@ What was your dream job when you were a child? Are you going after that dream or not? Why? Paleontologist, and no, because I don't want to travel for work, and I could also never handle the heat during site excavations. Even though it may not work all the time, what usually helps make you feel better when you’re upset or down? Watching one of my comfort series on YouTube from channels I enjoy. Why do you personally take surveys? It's a method to just get all these thoughts out of my head and to vent when I need to without actually directly burdening someone with my problems. No one has to read 'em. It's purely for my benefit, and also to pass the time, which I have too much of. Are there any words that you can’t stand? Derogatory terms for certain groups of people. What are words that you love? Words like "serendipity," "bliss," joyous, bubbly words. I'm blanking on actual terms. If you had an endless supply of money for clothing only, what would you load your closet with? Ohhhh, lots of shit with studs and spikes. :') I've wanted a studded leather jacket since I was in middle school. Have never gotten one because of how pricey they are. :( I'd also get some KILLER boots and just obtain a more gothic wardrobe. I'd love corsets too if my body ever shrinks back to a point I'd be comfortable wearing well-made ones. What is your favorite type of cookie? Chocolate chip. What is your favorite type of candy? Strawberry Sour Punch Straws. What color would you like to paint your nails next? I don't paint my nails. Realistically, they probably won't be 'til my entirely hypothetical wedding, in which case they'll probably be black. What do you think is creepy that society accepts as normal? Urinals, alsdkfja;klwejr. Like I get men's bathrooms give the option of using a stall, but still... side-by-side urinals are so weird and a breach of privacy to me. What is the silliest secret about yourself that you sometimes feel the need to hide? That I enjoy forum RP. I tell NOBODY because I fear being judged and found as weird. Like seriously, in my "real" life, maybe two people know. What do you think is a good date other than dinner and a movie? I want a picnic date really bad kalj;dkl;jwe. Do you dread certain days of the week? If yes, what day/s and why? No. They're all very similar. Do you ever give money to homeless people? No, admittedly. Mom instead likes to sometimes offer them bottles of water or if she's really feeling generous, a cheap meal at like McDonald's or something. She doesn't like to hand out money because, well, we know what a vast majority of homeless people spend it on. Do you like to brag or are you modest? I get really uncomfortable bragging, so I try to be as modest as I can be. What your favourite thing to have on toast? I love giving it a light toast, then adding a thin layer of butter, cinnamon, and sugar. It's bomb. Do you know how to surf? Would you ever like to learn? No to either. If you eat oatmeal, do you have it plain or do you have certain toppings that you like to add to it? I love sprinkling some sugar in there. Would you prefer to spend time with your whole family all at once, or would you rather quality time with one family member at a time? Depends on what I feel up to, but I tend to enjoy family time as a group more. That way, I don't have TOO much pressure to be constantly social. I can just listen sometimes. What is the funniest or strangest thing you’ve ever heard somebody say in their sleep? I have no idea. I worry what people have heard ME say/scream in my sleep. Do you own a pair of slippers? Yeah, they're meerkat ones! :') Choose one: Butterfinger, Milky Way, Snickers: Absolutely a Milky Way. Who was the last person to comment you? My mom. I'm cool, I swear. How many arguments have you had with the last person you kissed? A lot over all these years, but I'd say that's normal when you've been friends since you were 8 and 10. Do you know anyone who has been arrested? Yes. What are you planning on doing after this? When I'm done taking this survey, I'll probably either go to bed or play a bit of WoW. Idk. Will you be up before 7 am tomorrow? I have my alarm set for 7, actually. Ever been the only one trying to fix a relationship? Mhmmmm. -_- What was the last bad thing that happened to your phone? The case that came with the phone got a big crack in it. Have you ever been with someone while they were throwing up? Absolutely not. I would start vomiting. I can't handle the sound or the act in general. Have you been to the beach this year? No; I haven't been in a long time, and I am noooot complaining. Have you ever skipped school just because you were tired? Yes. Are you tan? God no. Do you own any leather? No real leather, no. I never would. Have you ever bought a shot glass? No. Do you have a therapist? Yes. We actually just talked today. Well, technically yesterday. What’s the worst name your mom has ever called you? I don't know. She doesn't really call me bad names. Have you ever listened to Christian music? Not of my own volition, but I've heard it because of other people controlling the radio. Are you the ‘creative child’? Yes, I'm considered that one. Did you like your life when you were in middle school? God no. That's when everything started going downhill. Have you ever been 'popular’? No. Has someone ever tried to convert you? Yes. Are you a fan of muffins? I LOVE muffins. What’s your most recent obsession? It's kinda chilled out now, but when Resident Evil 8: Village released, I was CRAZY over it. I watched SO many different let's plays of it. I think it's safe to say it beats out RE4 as my favorite installment.