#and I posted about it on lex and i think he actually messaged me first for a change

[dsm-v]

my boyfriend who I have gone on one date with who I want to marry texted me and I’m gonna look at it in the morning I said I want to hold hands with him. maybe he is saying we are not a good fit and that would be okay too

[all-thestories-aretrue]

Some last thoughts on 95 before I listen to 96. Follow up from this post. Because I realized I didn't actually post any thoughts, just complained lol.

So here are the Thoughts and Reactions™️

The Neil and Wynn hug immediately broke me. I did cry on the plane during the first listen but I did not cry the second time. Go me! 🎉

Miles: Let's not shout that around. Lex, immediately: As that is shouted around...

Britta's humanity NOT being mentioned i am 👀👀👀👀 sus behavior.

The list also had me 😭😭😭 crying on the plane. And I just relistened to 88 where they talk about it. So I was extra 😭😭😭 this time around.

A direct quote from my notes: "I swear to god if this is another goddamn TEASE" re: let's call Nara

I am pretty sure on the plane when that was brought up again I said "you motherfuckers" very quietly. There was NO WAY that phone call was going to happen.

I know people have been waiting longer than me for the Nara and Neil conversation but I feel like I am dying. Every episode my hopes are dashed against the rocks repeatedly.

AND WYNN OH MY GOD WYNN. Banger lines. "I have given. I am taking." And the put me down then. And the whole he doesn't mean the most to me but i am in love with him. Not to mention the code message which has rightfully gotten lots and lots of love. Incredible all around 👏

Wynn has my whole heart 😍😍

All in all a devastating choice to make at the end. I am not a strategy person but the whole weathers vs amaya choice. Idk. Couldnt theoretically more Kindred be saved if they go after Amaya and the Anarchs? I've seen people speculate that by saving the Anarchs they could set themselves up for more conflict in the future, but also in 88 Johnny and I think Miles and Neil?? All mentioned a non-Camarillan future like even outside of New Haven. So is that conflict really a warrented point against going after Amaya? Also. Weathers left the Camarilla. That was definitely a thing he did. He was in it with Amaya. So does he still have the sway and power that the coterie believes he does over Camarillan brujah? Or was it more Brujah in general than specific sects? Like if he's lost status with the Camarilla and he's just one person. Wouldn't saving Amaya make more sense outside of sentimentality and personal connection? Idk I am not a strategy person. I also want none of them to die lol. So you know. There's that.

I know there's no right answer to this question and that's the point. Narratively it's a really juicy decision that's going to drive character development one way or another, especially for Wynn (and now arguably Neil?? Whatever the fuck his deal is). And Johnny.

Speaking of Neil. Oh boy. I did make a post about the whole Wynn thing. I've, like others, been 👀👀👀 about it. I do wonder how much the bond has had an impact on all that. I should go back and listen to pre-bonded Neil to Neil now. But I think either way, he would follow Wynn to the ends of the earth. Also I stand by qpr neil/wynn. You can pry it from my cold dead hands.

Last note. The post credits scene 😂. Lex just cackling while Garrett yells.

[re-readingcomics]

12/07/2023-02/03/2024

Over this period of time I read the books I had that are continuations of things I had been reading. I am not sure how much I have to say about any of them, hence the delay between finishing them and posting this.

I started with volume 3 of BRZRKR written by Keanu Reeves and Matt Kindt, art by Ron Garney, and colors by Bill Crabtree. I read the first two volumes recently and wanted to see how it wrapped up. I was worried about forgetting things in the mean time. I did, but while I read the final volume, what I forgot didn’t seem much worth remembering. The story was all in broad strokes. It wrapped up a plot about one employers of Unute and Diana, while leaving them to start a miraculous family with two quickly gestating and growing fraternal twins. It ends in space in a way sets up a new beginning. I don’t think I care enough to continue. I still like the art, but by now I feel cynical about this opening to a franchise. 

My normal way for choosing what to read is to prioritize wha I started the longest ago first. If I kept with this, I would have read Blood Stain 4 writing and art by Linda Sejic before BRZRKR 3. There has been six years between volumes, and I still haven’t gotten my to read piles down enough to re-read the first three. This is the only series that I haven’t written about here, as I wasn’t trying to do these kinds of updates when he las one arrived. It is also the one I enjoyed reading the most. I definitely forgot a lot of the plot, but there hadn’t been much of it. A throw away bit of dialogue in this volume worked as a reminder that the previous volumes only took place over a few days. The lead character, Elliot Torres only is confirmed to get the job as Vlad Stein’s assistant in this volume. On a related note, the previous volumes all had comedic material the back involving the characters in non-plot related situations, that show a level of familiarity that they hadn’t reached in the plot. This one didn’t. If anything, it did a lot to make up for time lost as far plot points go. We learn about about Torres’s adjustment to her new work/life balance, and more about the working Stein’s actual life here than I think we did ever before. Stein becomes a lot more human, despite all the other worldly or vampiric signatories around him, including how his text bubbles are black with white text, like the Sandman himself. I liked it the most of these reads. It’s pleasant and friendly and seems to exist just for itself. I also like the art, which combines reality and fantasy very well in a way that feels like they inform each other. It’s lovely.

Finally, I read Second Coming Trinity, the aptly named third volume of Second Coming. It is written by Mark Russell, art by Leonard Kirk and colors by Richard Pace. I read the firs two volumes way back in  2021 and I remember mostly liking them and being okay with the way the Jesus and Superman become roommates situation. But I forgot most of the plot including everything about the Lex Luther/Brainiac villain Cranius. This one is about the affect that Sunstar’s son, brining up examples of how both Sunstar and Jesus were dangerous super powered kids in their youth. Also there is an issue where it turns out God is disappointed in the human art market. Me too, but this just irked. The volume ended with a cliff hanger. Everything in the volume led to it. And yet I still feel like the creators bit off more than they can chew. It’s Sunstar flashbacks have a combination of “Super dickery” and “Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex” that feels too related to the writing about Superman over the decades to be a stand alone story. Jesus starts his own church to have a more direct control over his message, but that has worldly complications. We get to meet more of this world’s versions of Justice League characters, which mostly left me wondering why?

I have started y next comic book pile since finishing this. I am in a slow to read historic comics. I will update when I am ready. 

[wlwcarries]

i'm becoming more and more convinced that charlie's dms are real. i’m going to give you guys the evidence there is so far, for you all to make your own conclusions. personally, as much as i hate to say it, i think the dms are real.

i want to preface this by saying that i hoped as much as everyone else that the screenshots were fake. i honestly debated even posting about it at this point because everyone seems to have made their peace that they’re fabricated and moved on, and i don’t want to start or rehash anything. i promise you, i hated making this post as much as you guys are probably going to hate reading this. but i feel like we as a fandom deserve to know and address the truth, and choosing to ignore this will only do more harm than good.

there are two tiktoks showing proof of the messages: here and here

it’s pretty clear imo that charlie sent those messages in that group chat. there’s publicly available information proving a lot of what i’m going to talk about, but i’m not going to expose anyone especially since a lot of the people involved are minors. if you want to talk more about it, feel free to dm me but i’m not going to post anything publicly beyond those tiktoks. 

so yeah. charlie talked about smut in a group chat with at least one confirmed minor as far as we know. in the screenshot you can see that someone explained what smut was to him, and then he continued on talking about the explicit fic. 

i know that a lot of us on here, myself included, love to harp on l*lex shippers, and while the racism involved with the ship should by no means pushed aside that's also not my biggest concern at the moment. a lot of these people are young teenage girls and there’s a clear power imbalance involved. they’re fans, and he’s an adult man who they look up to. yes, they shouldn’t have sent the fic to him in the first place, but charlie’s an adult and should have known better than to encourage this. this is on him. he really can’t see that interacting and talking about sexually explicit material with minors isn’t alright??? is he that scared of his fans turning on him if he doesn’t act like he’s their close personal friend???

he needs to realize that he’s not going to lose his fanbase if he establishes boundaries with them. honestly, there’s more of a chance that he’ll lose them if he doesn’t establish boundaries. other people said this better than me (i’d like to link chloe @willexx’s post here which makes a lot of really important points regarding this as well as discussing madi, and this post by @reggieshairflip which goes really in depth into a lot of great points), but this is really concerning. 

i also went on twitter last night to see what people were saying on there, and i’m beyond words. the majority of the commentary seems to be along the lines of “protect charlie from the smut!!” 

y’all. charlie isn’t the one who needs protecting. regardless of the legal situation, if he wants to read fanfic he’s gonna find ways to read it. he’s a grown man, he’ll be fine. that’s so far removed from the actual point, i don’t know how else to explain it. charlie will be fine. we don’t have to be worried about him. 

maybe people should focus on the fact that he’s talking about smut in a group chat with minors on it? like first off, don't be in a group chat with fans of your show, but especially don't talk about smut with minors, what the fuck. and the fact that he doesn’t even seem to realize the issues with what he’s doing is troubling in and of itself.

charlie has been involved in various other groupchats with fans for a while (this isn’t a new thing by any means), and i will admit that most of those interactions thus far have been innocent and harmless. regardless, the fact that he’s in group chats with fans at all worries me. these people are largely young, teenaged girls who idolize charlie--they’ve practically developed a parasocial relationship with him, and that’s not healthy in the slightest. 

he’s not their “bestie,” he’s a celebrity. he keeps up with the innocent and harmless things, and encourages them, but doesn’t establish boundaries--and that’s what leads to people thinking that doing more is okay because he hasn’t said otherwise. people meeting him at the airport at 2am, fans showing up to owen’s house at midnight and then charlie entertaining them. that’s what this kind of behavior leads to, and i fear that it will inevitably lead to much worse in the future. i’m not trying to take blame away from the people who did these things--fans have to respect boundaries, set or not--but as a public figure charlie has a responsibility to set clear lines.

the point of this post is absolutely not to “cancel” him or anything. that wouldn’t be productive at all, and one of my favorite things about the jatp fandom on tumblr is our ability to have actually constructive conversations about things like this. this is tumblr, and i know i’m basically speaking to an echo chamber here-- but i feel this is important enough that it has to be said, even if nobody outside of this site will probably see it. 

he needs to be held accountable and made to realize that what he’s doing isn’t okay. i get that this is his first experience being at the center of a large fandom like this, and i understand that he’s probably really excited about all the fans and wants to connect with them as much as possible. but he would do well to take notes from jeremy (and hell, madi, and she’s sixteen and didn’t have any prior acting experience at all), and engage in a healthy, responsible way like they do. i’m not going to speak about owen because i don’t really have much info or knowledge about how he interacts, but this potentially extends to him as well.

this is a really complicated and messy situation, and i get that. feel free to share your thoughts, but please be respectful. sending love to all of you guys rn 💜💜💜

EDIT: TO CLARIFY. i have seen this post making the rounds on twitter. i’m okay with that as long as it’s not a screenshot and the post is directly linked HOWEVER charlie did not straight up send smut to that group chat. they sent him the title, and he looked the fic up and sent the link in the group chat to clarify it was the one they were talking about. he was informed that it was smut, but it wasn’t just him sending the fic unprovoked. everything i said above still applies, he should not have engaged or encouraged the conversation but please don’t spread false information. 

[auramindedd]

Moving In - SMAU*

Part 16

CorpseHusband x Fem!Reader

Warnings: cussing

A/N: i’m so excited to write brooke, rae, and y/n together, and to see their reactions whenever y/n and corpse do something 😭 *was in a rush to get this posted; editing, adding to taglist, and fixing tags later. also, kinda gave up on the likes, retweets, and comments on the twitter 💀*

🤍 directory

🕊 previous

☁️ next

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“Sooo,” Brooke drawls. She sits cross-legged in front of you, Rae lays her head in your lap. “What’s going on between you and Corpse?” She wiggles her eyebrows, causing you and Rae to giggle.

“Nothing?” You can’t hide the smile that plays on your lips.

Rae turns her head so she’s facing you now. “Oh, I’m so sure.”

“Okay, okay, well, I was texting him while you guys were getting snacks, and we kind of talked about him moving in with me.” You admit. Their eyes widen, they’re getting ready to squeal, but before they can, you shush them.

“What do you mean ‘kind of?’” Brooke asks.

You’re not even sure yourself. You take almost everything you and Corpse talk about as a joke. The feeling might be mutual. You doubt that Corpse thinks anything you say isn’t in a joking manner.

That point made, you weren’t joking about him moving in with you. You feel like it’ll be fun living with him. You two get along in a nice, playful way. You both live in San Diego, and it’d be fairly easy for you two just to move in with each other.

You’ve also been wanting to meet Corpse for a while. There’s a lot that needs to be planned, especially when it’s you two meeting. Corpse, well, you don’t know how he looks and you want him to be one-hundred percent comfortable with meeting you. And you, well, of course, the mental breakdowns and panic attacks.

Corpse makes you feel comfortable though. You feel like you’re most yourself when talking to him, maybe even more than you are with Alex, Clay. Karl, and George. Not to say the friendship between you and Corpse is any better, but you two just get along so easily.

“I mean, I don’t know. We joke around a lot, maybe he was joking about moving in with me.” You explain.

“Do you want him to move in with you?” Rae asks, twirling the ends of your hair around her finger.

You shrug, “Yeah, I feel like it’d be fun.”

“Maybe you two should talk about it.” Brooke suggests. “I doubt he’s joking.”

“What do you mean?” You ask, furrowing your eyebrows.

Brooke shake her head, “Are you that oblivious to the things he says? He’s so flirty with you, there’s no way he doesn’t actually like you.”

“You’re fucking crazy.” You laugh.

“If she’s crazy, then so am I.” Rae says. “Go talk to him.”

“Right now?” Rae nods her head. “It’s our girl time...”

Brooke gets up, grabs your arm, and pulls you to your room, Rae following suit. “It’s fine, we have the rest of the night.”

After lots of arguing, and eventually you losing the argument, you call him. Corpse answers within the first few rings.

“Whaddup, baby.” Corpse greets.

“Hi,” You greet shyly. You’re rarely nervous about talking to him, but asking him about something pretty serious, you’re nerves get the best of you. “I have a question...”

“Is everything okay?” You can’t ignore the worry lacing his voice when he asks. A warm feeling builds in your stomach as you smile to yourself.

“Everything’s fine, but I just wanted to ask if you actually wanted to move in with me.” You feel your face getting hot, the heat rushing up to your ears.

Corpse chuckles, “I’m down, but only if I get to sleep in your bed.”

You shake your head, “And I said that’s fine, I’ll sleep ok the comfy bed in the guest bedroom.”

“No,” He laughs, the laugh you never want to stop listening to. “With you.”

“I’ll probably end up kicking you off the bed.” You warn, earning more laughs from Corpse.

He takes a deep breath, “On a serious note, yes, I’ll move in with you.”

Butterflies erupt in your stomach when he answers. You’re excited, but nervous as well? Either way, you think it’ll be fun.

You both say goodbye, and you go back to Rae and Brooke.

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Taglist - comment or message me to be added!

@cherry-piee @strang-ersclub @callmemaeve-y @powerpuffyn @kusuinko @where-thesundoesntshine @letglimmersayfuck @coryisagee @a-dot-dev @ifilosemyselfagain @tayloryorkscurls @lex-prplatmngrl @letsloveimagines @youretheonlyonewhomakesme @smiithys @mikayladoesntknow @clubfairy @mirahg @thurstyforholland @thatsouthernblondewiththeass @majasophieanna @dad-ee-drea @16marie @omg-itotallyshipit @timebant @hehe-red @officiallyunofficialperson @boiled-onionrings @caelestii-e @befourgolden @ravenclawbb @flipwizardisgoodouthere @unded-bride @fo-love @evilunicorns4minions @startstruckllamapuppy @aestheticbanguniverse @thesecretwriterblog @poison-ivy373 @ahmya-4 @jelliebeanss @sofianunes10 @greenprisca @vtte @panemedited @theroyalbrownbarbie @strawberrydonkey @jules-and-gemss @queentorresstuff @i-am-living-fangirl-trash @fujiapfel @squarkysheep @laurensxox @moremilkforkags

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Tags - ignore::

[phantom-curve]

Second birthday is such a cool thing to call that! 8 or 35 if you are feeling so inclined.

Thank you! When I was a kid my mom always tried to call it my rebirth-day and I was like no❤️ I went with some Willex whump (with a fluffy end) for this one! Set in the gimme a chance AU, featuring pro-skateboarder Willie and anxious Alex. This is also a bit of a companion piece to the #8 prompt I wrote earlier!

#35: kissing their bruises and scars (Trigger Warning: mentions of injury, mild description of panic attack, and mentions of a car accident. Rated T for language) 

Alex generally tried not to think about worst case scenarios when Willie was competing. If he let himself, it was way too easy to imagine all types of situations that ended with Willie broken and bleeding at the base of a halfpipe while Alex stood helplessly on the sidelines. It didn’t help anything for him to obsess over what could happen, especially because at this point, Alex knew skateboarding was as much a part of Willie as drumming was a part of him.

It was just that ever since Willie had gotten his first sponsorship and moved to the pro circuit six months ago, he had started taking bigger risks. More complex tricks and a lot less hesitation to go big when he was representing the brands that were paying his bills. And that meant longer hours practicing and a higher chance of injury on a daily basis. Alex wanted to be a supportive boyfriend, the kind that would show up at the skate park to cheer and not have a panic attack every time that Willie wiped out, but he wasn’t. He was just an anxious guy in love with a dude who seemed determined to break every single bone in his body.

Things only got worse when Willie started traveling for competitions. He was gone almost every weekend, and Luke had finally convinced the manager at the bar he worked at to let Sunset Curve preform regular Saturday shows, and so, more often than not, Willie would be somewhere else in California flinging his body down an insanely tall ramp with nothing but a helmet and some pads to protect him while Alex was trapped in LA losing himself in the familiar pattern of sticks against drums in an attempt to control his raging anxiety. It had about a 68% success rate. That success rate increased dramatically when Willie called Alex the second he knew his set was ending. It plummeted on the nights Alex didn’t hear from him until much later, or worse, heard from a different skater entirely.

Tonight was unfortunately one of those nights.

When their set ended, Reggie called out the same line he had coined after their first performance, a couple audience members chiming in with him because they actually had a bit of a fan following now, and Alex wasted no time in grabbing his phone from the fanny pack he kept behind his kit during shows. Instead of it lighting up with a picture of his boyfriend’s face, he was met with a series of missed calls and text messages from the guys Willie was rooming with for the weekend. He tried not to panic, tried to breathe in deeply to a count of five, holding it for just as long before exhaling again. It kept the anxiety at bay for as long as it took for him to unlock the phone and read the last missed message.

Don’t worry, bro. They’re gonna airlift him back to LA so you can just meet him at the hospital whenever.

Panic hit full force. What the actual fuck had happened to his boyfriend?! Alex’s fingers were shaking too much for him to open the other messages, his vision going blurry and a distant ringing sounding out in his ears. It took him longer than it should to realize Luke was crouched down in front of him, Reggie hovering just beyond the drum kit.

“You have to breathe, Lex. C’mon, follow me.”

Luke inhaled deeply before letting his breath out in a loud woosh. Alex tried to copy him, but his chest felt too tight, his throat closing in the more he tried to open it. Luke kept talking, his voice low and calm.

“Try again, we can do it together. We just have to breathe, nothing else.”

Alex inhaled with Luke that time, not quite as deeply and not quite as steady, but more air than he had managed to get before. It took several long moments before he was able to match Luke completely, the fog starting to clear from his brain, surroundings snapping back into focus.

“Great, good, just keep breathing, okay? I’m gonna go grab the office keys and we’ll take a minute in there to talk, okay?”

Alex nodded, not exactly wanting Luke to leave but knowing whatever his best friend was saying logically made sense. Reggie slipped into the space Luke had been occupying, breathing in the exact same pattern, and Alex refocused on him. When Reggie stood, Alex copied him, reaching out to grip the back of Reggie’s red flannel as he led them both off of the stage and down the hallway to the office in the back of the bar. Alex dropped onto the couch, burying his face in his hands.

“Lex? Can you tell us what’s going on?”

Reggie’s voice was soft and quiet, like a gentle melody. Alex let it wash over him, knew his boys would be able to help if he could just figure out how to get his mouth to form the words it desperately didn’t want to say out loud. He fought to speak for a few moments before finally just thrusting his phone forward. A hush fell over the room as Luke and Reggie scrolled through the texts and Alex was suddenly grateful that he wouldn’t have to read through them himself. After what felt like an eternity but was probably only a few minutes, Luke cleared his throat and spoke.

“Okay, so good news or bad news first?”

“How can there possibly be good news?”

Alex’s throat felt raw and scratchy, the words coming out broken and strangled. Luke and Reggie exchanged a quick glance before Reggie sat next to Alex on the couch. Not touching, but close enough for Alex to feel comforted all the same.

“Willie isn’t dead or dying, so yes, there is good news. Which one do you want first?”

A significant amount of the panic left Alex’s system at the reassurance that his boyfriend was alive and going to stay that way for the time being. It hit him all at once, sending him into Reggie’s side as he let out a cry of relief. Reggie’s hand stroked up and down Alex’s arm, a low hum sounding in the back of his throat. Luke spoke again.

“Okay, so good news is that Willie is probably already back in LA, he’s at the best hospital he can be at, and he’s going to be fine.”

Alex clung to the words like a life raft. Willie was going to be fine. He turned it into a mantra, repeating it over and over again until he felt like he was back in control, no longer on the precipice of drowning. He disentangled himself from Reggie’s arms, took a deep breath, and met Luke’s gaze.

“I’m ready. Gimme the bad news.”

Luke let out a long breath before sitting down on Alex’s other side.

“The guys were in a car accident. They didn’t even make it to the competition. Willie was in the passenger seat and he took the worst hit in the collision. The other guys got taken to a local hospital, but they had to send Willie to Cedars-Sinai because of some special orthopedic department there. Max said they mentioned he would be admitted to the post-trauma floor.”

A car accident. He didn’t even make it to the competition. Alex had considered himself prepared for the worst when it came to Willie and his chosen profession. He had told himself that loving Willie meant accepting the risk that came with skateboarding, especially at the level that Willie did it. He had not once considered the fact that Willie could be hurt in some type of freak accident that had nothing to do with skating. The life raft slipped from his mental fingers, hurtling him back into the sea of despair once again.

“We got this, okay?” Luke was still speaking. “Reg is gonna call an Uber and take you to the hospital, and I’m gonna get Dante and Felix to help pack up stuff here and then come meet you. It’s gonna be okay.”

Luke’s words painted a path for Alex to follow, a way to move forward without having to fight so hard to do so. He nodded, allowed himself to be bundled out of the employee entrance and into the car Reggie had called. Clung to Reggie’s flannel again as they traversed the white hallways of the hospital, eventually making their way to a nurse’s station situated on the post-trauma surgical floor. Alex didn’t even let himself think about what that string of words implied. Not until Reggie nudged him forward to speak with the blonde-haired woman with kind brown eyes sitting behind the welcome desk. He forced himself to clear the lump in his throat and scrape some words together.

“Hi, I’m uh, my name is Alex. Alex Mercer? I’m looking for my boyfriend Willie? William, actually, his name is William Stewart. He was...he was in a car crash.”

The words came out in starts and stops, cracking at the edges as Alex forced them through numb lips. The nurse nodded, her fingers tapping across the keyboard in a sharp staccato.

“He’s out of surgery, but might still be a bit groggy. The limit is one visitor at a time, so your friend will have to wait out here.”

Alex turned to Reggie with a blank stare.

“You got this, Lex. Remember, he’s gonna be fine. I’ll be right here, and Luke is on his way too. Whatever you need, okay? We got you.”

Alex nodded even though the movement itself felt like a lie. The nurse smiled softly at him and for one split moment Alex wished he could call his mom, hear her comforting voice the way he used to when he was a scared little kid. But he had Luke and Reggie now. And Willie, who was alive somewhere in this hospital.

“He’s in room 604, just down the hall.”

Alex forced his feet to move. Forced himself to count the numbers on the wall until he found 604. Forced himself to open the door and enter the room.

Willie looked so small on the bed, his dark hair a mess across the stark white pillowcase, his leg encased in plaster and suspended from some contraption that hung down from the ceiling. He turned his head at the noise of the door opening, eyes half open and soft with sleep or maybe painkillers. The smile on his face was a mere shadow of its normal sunshine.

“Hey, Hotdog.”

Alex wanted to cry. He wanted to scream and curl into a ball and absolutely lose it. But instead, he walked to the side of Willie’s bed and sat down in the chair next to it that seemed to have been waiting just for him.

“Have you been crying? Please tell me you weren’t crying.”

Okay, Willie was definitely on drugs. Because of course, Alex had been crying.

“Yes, I’ve been crying! Are you kidding me?”

Willie winced slightly and Alex was instantly swamped with guilt.

“No, okay, let me try that again.”

He took a deep breath and reached up to brush a few stray hairs away from Willie’s face. There were a number of cuts and bruises marring his skin, a few of them hidden under bandages.

“Hey pretty boy, I’m so glad you’re not dead. I’ve never been more scared than when I saw that text from Max. I thought you cracked your head open on a halfpipe or something, what the hell happened?”

Willie tried to shrug and grimaced, like it hurt. Alex’s hands fluttered uselessly above his boyfriend’s body, unsure where would be safe to touch. He settled for grabbing the hand that Willie offered which was thankfully unmarked, nothing but some leftover scars from catching himself at the skatepark.

“I think our car flipped? There was a lot of crashing and my leg really fuckin hurt. It’s still hurts.”

Willie frowned, clearly addled from the leftover anesthesia and whatever they were giving him for the pain. Alex pulled his hand up to press a series of kisses across Willie’s knuckles, making sure to cover each scar at least once.

“You can’t die on me, Wills. I fucking love you, okay? I know you do insane stunts and regularly let yourself get beat to crap at the skate park, but you can’t fucking die on me in some stupid car accident. I’d lose my goddamn mind without you.”

“You love me?”

Willie’s voice was soft and awed and Alex suddenly realized he hadn’t ever actually said those words out loud before even though they’d been living in his brain for months now. When he looked into Willie’s eyes he saw a hint of wetness there, and his heart melted.

“Yes, I love you, you fucking dork. I’ve been in love with you for months.”

Willie grinned, dopey eyed and pink cheeked.

“Well, I’ve been in love with you for like, ever. So, I win. Gimme a kiss for my prize.”

Alex laughed and rolled his eyes, but obliged, nonetheless. Willie might not remember this interaction, but Alex would never forget it. A look of absolute peace settled onto his boyfriend’s face.

“I knew you’d come. I knew as soon as that car hit us that when I woke up, you’d be here. You’re the best boyfriend ever, that’s why I love you. And you’re so hot. Like, really hot.”

Alex’s cheeks burned, his heart kicking into overdrive.

“C’mere,” Willie nodded his head to the side and tried to shuffle over, like he was inviting Alex to climb in next to him. He made a disgruntled sound when the contraption his leg was in refused to budge, frowning up at the suspension system.

“That’s so lame, what the fuck? I wanna cuddle.”

And Alex, unable to resist even when he knew it would probably be better for Willie if he did, climbed up to wedge his body into the small space between Willie and the guardrails on his bed. He tucked one arm behind Willie’s head, pulling his face into the space between his neck and shoulder. Willie let out a contented sigh, his breath sending shivers down Alex’s spine.

“You smell like you,” Willie whispered, the sound happy and relaxed. “I love you, Lex.”

“I love you, too.” Alex sighed, kissing his way across every single cut and bruise he could reach without moving.

Willie settled into place, his body going lax and soft snores sounding out against Alex’s chest within moments. Alex let his own head fall to rest against the top of Willie’s, finally allowing himself to believe everything would be okay. When the same nurse came to tell him that his other friend had arrived and maybe it would be best to come back in the morning, he accepted it without complaint. She gave him a final moment to say goodnight, Alex taking the time to make sure Willie was tucked in tight before kissing his temple softly.

Willie was going to be okay, and Alex was going to spend the rest of his life making sure he was always the one there to kiss his scrapes and bruises.

Send me prompts for my second birthday!

[nerdwaifuu-stories]

The Proposal

Happy (belated) Ninjago Oc Day! Ik I haven’t posted much on this account, but I figured it would be the perfect time to post something about my OCs.

Ig some basic info:

Word count: 4,966

Oc basics: the main two are Hisashi and Emon. Hisashi was a samurai/soldier who I have made Ronin’s (dead) uncle. Emon was a criminal who worked for Chen (although Hisashi doesn’t know about that. He just knows that Emon has previously done crime in his youth), but started to lose interest over time due to several factors. Another oc that’s mentioned is Lex. They are a friend of Hisashi and Emon’s, and they are actually an Oni.

Summary: Taking place roughly 25-30ish years before the Ninjago series, Hisashi is coming home from a mission. Since he and Emon have been together for some time, he figures it’s time to take it to the next step. He is one ring purchase and a ship and train ride away from trying to reach that next step.

If you want to know more about these characters, there’s some stuff on my art account @nerdwaifuu-art.

Hope you enjoy!

Cheers rang through the village as they saw the group in green armor entering the village. The soldiers marched through the middle, many with a look of victory on their faces contrasting the scuff, dirt, wounds, and exhaustion their bodies presented: all a worthy cost for a village's safety. Eventually their march and the cheering stopped as the chief approached the group.

"Oh great heroes, thank you! Thank you for saving us from those fiends! We will never forget what you have done for us! May the Creator bring you prosperity!" The chief cheered. Once he spoke his last word, the crowd of villagers' cheer erupted again, echoing the chief's message. From there, the chief and the captain went off to chat and the rest dispersed throughout the village. Some made their way back to the ship either to rest or prepare for the journey back to the city. Others remained in the village to chat or to explore. Amongst those exploring were two young men: a stout, short dark brown haired chatterbox and a long dark copper haired, silent listener. The two strolled through the village as one chatted away and the other listened while glancing at everything they passed.

"I wonder if the captain saw our hard work out there."

"Mhm."

"I mean we were kicking butt out there."

"Mhm."

"We should probably go to the medics to get our backs checked from how much carrying we were doing..."

"Mhm."

The stout man slowed his walk as he placed his hand on his friend's shoulder, "Hisashi, you good? You're quieter than usual, and it’s hard for you to be quieter than you already are..." He paused before he threw himself on track to a ramble, "Anyways, you just seem out of it."

"Yeah... Uh, yes, yes I'm fine, Shiro," Hisashi stumbled, "My mind's just on, uh, other things."

"Oh? Other things? What kind of other things?" Shiro questioned.

"You know... other things..." Hisashi kept scanning the surrounding stands and buildings.

"No, I don't know other things. How about you introduce me to them?" Shiro coaxed.

With a sigh, Hisashi stopped his mini search and said, "I'm just looking for some gifts..."

"Forrrr?"

Hisashi paused for a second, then said, "For my nephew-"

"Ah, why didn't you say so? No need to be so secretive with me," Shiro smirked, "C'mon, let's go find him something. One of these shops should have something he'll like" Shiro kept his hand on Hisashi's shoulder as he started to lead him. Hisashi resisted the push and said, "Actually, I know what shop I want to go to... I just need to find it again..." He looked around once more and then there it was: a small wooden stand run by a middle aged woman. The stand was covered with an assortment of items: jewelry, weapons, metal decorations, toys, metal sculptures, etc. He saw it the first time he arrived at the village and knew he had to stop by it.

"There it is," Hisashi took the lead and pulled Shiro with him as he approached the stand.

"Ah, hello boys~ Do you see anything you like?" The woman greeted them.

"My friend here is just looking, but I do see something I like," Shiro said, shooting a smoldering look towards the woman. The woman giggled and the two continued to chat (or Shiro commanded the conversation and continually bragged about himself). Meanwhile, Hisashi looked at the items. His eyes kept being pulled towards the actual reason that he wanted to come to the stand in the first place—a set of two matching rings sitting in a wooden ring box. Both were made up of a thick metal band that had a space cut in the middle where the gem was, making it appear as if the gem was floating. On the band, on either side of the gem, was a dragon carving colored gold. One ring had a black tinted band with a white gem while the other had a polished, silver finish and a black gem.

The woman noticed his interest in the rings and, once Shiro had taken a short pause, she shifted her focus, "I see that you've found something you like." She picked up the ring box and placed it in the middle of the table. Shiro shot a confused look at the woman and then at Hisashi.

"Oh, sorry, I was just looking at them. They're very beautiful," Hisashi admitted.

"Haha, no need to apologize for looking at what I'm selling, but thank you. My husband's... well, my late husband's father made them," the woman sighed, "Honestly the story is quite sweet. He came to this village and set up a blacksmith shop. A woman came into the shop one day and he fell deeply in love with her. He expanded his skills from weapon making to making small metal trinkets to give to her—" the woman glanced down at some of the other items at her stand before continuing, "She loved every single one and returned his love. Eventually, he decided it was time. He went into his workshop and began on his favorite project. The next time anyone saw him leave his shop, he went directly to the woman, took her somewhere nice, and proposed with these rings. She wore one and he wore the other..." A small smile formed on her face as she looked back at the rings, "Then they passed it down to my husband to use with me, and now here I am trying to sell them," she sighed, "I have no use for them now, and, even though I'm probably making some people roll in their graves, I need the money..."

"Awww, yeah that is really sweet. It's a shame you don't have a lady friend back at home, unless you and that Lexi girl have something~" Shiro teased Hisashi. Hisashi rolled his eyes. 'That Lexi girl' he referred to was Lex, but Hisashi only saw them as a friend. Instead, he had his eyes on someone else; someone else that he deeply cared about; someone else that he actually had something with.

"Plus we're here for your nephew. I don't think he'll have any use for these rings," Shiro reminded him.

"Um, right, of course..." Hisashi watched as the woman placed the rings back to their original spot.

"Oh, a nephew? Is he into metal work? Or I'm assuming he'll like the toys if he's young or the weapons perhaps?" The woman asked.

"Ah yes, a 5 year old who's into metal work-" Shiro quietly snickered. Hisashi shot a quick glare at him.

"Oh, he's quite young, scratch the weapons then," she chuckled.

Hisashi looked around the table some more and decided on one of the small metal figures and an old pocket watch.

"Ah, I'm sure he'll enjoy that," Shiro muttered sarcastically when he noticed the pocket watch was no longer ticking.

"He likes taking things apart and making new things, so yes, he'll probably enjoy this," Hisashi defended his choice.

"Is he trying to be an inventor?" the woman asked.

"I believe he does have an interest in becoming one. He's been fascinated with all the technological changes going on in the city. I don't understand it, but at least he's getting prepared for the future," Hisashi answered, starting to take out his money for his purchase.

"I forgot Ninjago City was going through all that. All the beautiful wood and clay buildings being replaced with tall metal buildings... It's insane."

"Yeah..." Hisashi and Shiro nodded along. While Hisashi searched for the right amount of money, he noticed that the remaining soldiers started to make their way back to the ship. He glanced back at the rings and turned to Shiro, "How about you head back to the ship while I finish up here?"

Shiro nodded, said his goodbye to the shop owner and left. As soon as he was out of earshot, Hisashi turned back to the stand and asked, "How much are the rings?"

The woman stated the price and said, "So you are interested in them after all?" Hisashi nodded as he took out the right amount of money for the rings, the figure, and the pocket watch.

"So is this for someone or just keeping it for yourself?" The woman wondered.

"I have someone at home waiting for me—"

The woman leaned forward, her eyes sparkling with interest. Before she could ask any questions, with a soft smile, Hisashi whispered, "I met h- uh, this person a while back and now we've been together for 5-6 years now... I figured I should do something special..."

"And decided it was time?" The woman asked at the same volume as him, with a large grin on her face. He nodded.

"Well, I hope the Creator blesses you both," she said, exchanging the items for Hisashi's money. He said his thanks and started to head off to the ship.

"Goodbye, may the Creator bring you prosperity and may the Great Serpent protect you on your journey!" The woman called out.

Hisashi turned around and asked "Great Serpent?"

"Oh, do people in the city not know this story?" Hisashi shook his head, so she explained, "According to some stories I've heard, there's a serpent that sleeps deep in the sea. She apparently used to rule the sea and was the reason for the waves and the storms, so people used to pray to her and give her offerings to keep her happy. Unfortunately that's all I know from the top of my head, and it's all probably just a story."

"Huh, sounds interesting. Thank you," Hisashi said before departing.

Laying his bed, Hisashi could feel the ship rock back and forth and hear his roommates chatting instead of sleeping, excited to be one step closer to home in the morning. But none of it blocked his focus on reading. His brain refused to let him sleep as the nerves have finally got to him. He had a ring in his possession, and he was hopefully going to give it away once he got to the city. To try to calm himself down in the safety of his bed, he took out some letters he got in the past few weeks. Each one started with "My Dearest Sai," and ended with "I can't wait to see you again. Love, Emon Sharma."

It was odd to think that these letters used to be closed off with a "Sincerely" or a simple "From," and "Love" was never a closing he had seen until 5 years ago. Even though it's been years, Hisashi's heart still flutters when he sees the word in Emon's handwriting. It still feels like such a new feeling, especially when he never acknowledged that such feelings could exist in him when he was growing up. Even when his brother tried to describe them when referring to himself and his now wife during high school, Hisashi never understood. Now he did.

After rereading each of the letters, he held the paper close to his chest. He tried picturing everything that Emon described. He tried remembering each random ramble that he sent him that Emon responded to. He silently laughed at the idea of him trying to make sense of everything Hisashi tried telling him. If he tried sending similar letters to anyone else he knows, they would just skim through everything and ask about how he is and how's work, avoiding to say "please tell me more about this random thing you learned ." Emon would be one of the only people who would say that.

The chatter in the room quieted down and the remaining lights started to disappear. With a sigh, Hisashi caught one more glimpse of the contents of the letters before it went completely dark.

"I can't wait to see you again. Love, Emon Sharma."

He softly smiled, folded the letters, and placed them under his pillow.

"I can't wait either..."

"Ah finally, land!" Shiro exclaimed once he and Hisashi got off the ship. Carrying their stuff (armor, weapons, supplies, letters, etc.), the two swerved their way through the crowds of people. Fellow soldiers were pouring out of the boat, being welcomed by their loved ones, going to a nearby inn or bar, or already beginning their ways home. Hisashi looked around at who was there, but he knew that his loved ones were in the city, which was a train ride away. He smiled at the thought of coming off the train to them, and clutched the ring box that hid in his pocket.

"Are you sure you don't want to stop for a drink? Or even for a snack?" Shiro asked, following his 6 foot friend to avoid getting lost.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Gotta make sure I catch the train," he said, glancing back to make sure Shiro wasn't too far behind.

"But the train's not going to leave for a bit," Shiro said, puzzled.

"I know, I just..." Hisashi trailed off and stopped in his tracks, leading to Shiro bumping into him.

"Oof- what's going on?" He asked, but got no answer. Shiro looked past Hisashi to see what was ahead, but it didn't click due to so many people being around. It wasn't until he saw two people: a short, medium tanned, black haired man with a scruffy beard and a towering, brown-skinned, short brown haired (hidden under a hat), female presenting person. The man noticed them and started to wave, then stopped and started approaching quickly while dragging his companion with him. Hisashi gripped the hidden ring box tighter as he started walking to lessen the distance. Once he was within a foot of the man, the man threw his arms around Hisashi and nearly lifted him off his feet within the first few seconds of the hug while saying, "It's so good to see you, Sai!"

"Woah, easy Emon. No need to break me," Hisashi chuckled, wiggling a bit to loosen Emon's grip and free his arms. Once they were free, Hisashi returned the hug and pulled Emon close while Emon buried his face into Hisashi's shoulder. Hisashi wished he could stay in this hug forever. He also wished he could just give Emon a big kiss, but he had to wait until they were in private; until they were in the city...

"Wait a minute—" Hisashi pushed Emon out in front of him, keeping his hands on Emon's shoulders—"What are you guys doing here?"

"Lex and I just figured that you deserved a welcome party as soon as you arrived," Emon confessed.

"And Emon really missed you and wanted to see you as soon as possible," Lex added.

"Yeah, that too," Emon chuckled, nervously rubbing the back of his neck. A smile stretched across Hisashi's face as he tried to hold in a laugh. His hand left Emon's shoulder and almost caressed his cheek, but he then remembered Shiro was watching from behind and they were surrounded by other people. He slowly pulled his hand back and hid it back in his pocket, trying to ignore the longing look in Emon's eyes. He then said, "Thank you, I missed you so much too. I couldn't wait to see you again..." Emon responded with a soft smile.

"Well, I missed you guys too," Shiro barged in, now standing next to Hisashi.

"Yes, it's good to see you, Shiro," Lex mumbled.

"I thought you would be much happier, Lexi," Shiro snickered. Lex's eyes were shooting daggers, but they tried to hide their gaze behind the brim of their hat as they said, "We best be going now. Don't want to miss the train." Before anyone could say anything, Lex had already turned around and started towards the train station.

"Ah what a shame. I wanted to talk with y'all more," Shiro sighed, "Well, see y'all back in the city tomorrow!" After an exchange of goodbyes, Shiro disappeared into the crowd.

"Well then, let's go," Emon said, linking his arm with Hisashi's. The two then followed behind Lex, trying to keep up.

"What was all the hurry about Lex?" Emon asked them.

Lex turned their head away from the train window and said, "Just didn't want to get stuck in one of his rambles. You get him talking and you'll probably end up hearing too much about what happened during the mission. I'm just not in the mood to hear how he 'sliced one man's head off' or whatever."

"That's fair," Hisashi said, also looking at the passing land outside the window. He was there when all of it happened, and he didn't need to hear about it again. He only wanted his mind on one thing and one thing only.

"Speaking of which, how was the mission?" Emon asked.

"Oh, just a typical mission. The thugs were playing hard to get for some time. Fortunately, we stopped them before anything too bad happened, and we didn't have many major injuries this time around. Just some scratches here and there," Hisashi answered quickly. He took one last look out of the window before sitting up and facing Lex and Emon on the other side of the table, saying, "But, despite the mission, the place we were at was very lovely." Emon leaned closer, interested to hear more.

"It was a small village by the ocean. Whenever we had a break, it was so calming to be on the white beach and just listen to the calm waves. And the village was really lovely too. It was filled with small shops and stands, and the people there seemed nice. They were very welcoming and always closed the conversations with something about 'the Creator' blessing you." Hisashi said. Lex perked up to full attention towards the end.

"The Creator? Like the creator of the town?" Emon asked.

"Or the Realm..." Lex muttered quietly, but, when they got confused looks from the two men, they said, "World. I mean world."

"Oh right, that makes more sense," Emon chuckled.

"Yeah, they often referenced them, but I guess they have plenty of other stories too. Before I was leaving, a nice woman at a shop said something about a Great Serpent—" Hisashi then recited what the woman had told him. Both Emon and Lex were leaning in close to hear every word. When Hisashi finished, Emon, with excitement in his eyes, and Lex, looking like they wanted to say something but decided against it, looked at each other, then back at Hisashi.

"Woah, that's so cool! Bet that was fun to hear about right before getting on a ship," Emon snickered.

"Yeah, but it's merely just a story," Lex uttered, leaning back against the seat, "Nothing to worry about."

"Have you ever heard of it?" Hisashi asked them. Lex hesitantly nodded, "All I know about it is the same as what the woman told you..." Hisashi could tell that they knew more, but he didn't want to force anything out of them. He could probably try finding a scroll or a book with more information.

"Anyways, overall the place was really nice. If we didn't have work and other stuff to deal with, I would say we should go there sometime," Hisashi said, mainly glancing over to Emon when talking. The idea of just leaving the city, getting on a ship, and sailing somewhere to explore sounded so pleasant, especially if it was with Emon and even Lex. He would even want to take his nephew once in a while. Just the 3 and sometimes 4 of them on a ship, seeing what the world offered. But their lives didn't allow for that. Hisashi had soldier duties to take care of while Emon and Lex had their own responsibilities, and there was just too much they would be leaving behind. Maybe one day in the future it could become a reality.

"Yeah, that would be nice," Emon said, smiling. Then the table went silent. Lex went back to looking out the window while the other two sat silently. Hisashi started to fidget with the ring box in his pocket, only bringing back the nerves. He looked up at Emon and could see he was shifting in his seat, shooting glances at both him and Lex. He wondered what Emon could be so nervous about.

Lex turned their head and sensed the nervousness sitting next to them and across from them. They shot a "say something and get it over with" look at both Hisashi and Emon.

"Sai—"

"Emon—"

They both paused and tried continuing, only further interrupting each other, "Sorry, go ahead—no you go ahead—no I didn't have anything to say—no please, I interrupted you—"

With a sigh, Lex barged in, "So, do you guys have any plans for today?" The two paused and looked at each other, waiting for the other to say something.

"I heard the weather is going to be super nice today. Maybe you guys can go to the park," Lex suggested.

"You are such a mind reader. That was what I was going to suggest," Emon said.

"I was actually going to recommend the same thing," Hisashi nervously laughed. He's so glad that he wrote Lex about what his plans were, or he would've just chickened out and waited to do it.

"Hah, perfect. Maybe we can get some lunch too. You're probably starving. I know I am," Emon said with a grin.

"Sounds good," Hisashi replied with a soft smile. He turned to Lex and mouthed the words "Thank you."

They smirked and mouthed back the words "You're welcome."

"Man, no matter how many times I come here, I always forget how good the food is," Emon exclaimed as he finished paying for the food. In defeat, Hisashi watched the check and the money leave. Him and Emon literally went back and forth about who would pay the bill only to find out that Hisashi had left his wallet at home due to him rushing to get ready and look nice for the day, so Emon came out victorious.

"I claim to pay the next check," Hisashi uttered while they got up and left the café.

"Haha, we'll see if you remember your wallet next time," Emon snickered, "Although it's not like you to forget it at all. Are you feeling well?"

"Yes yes, I'm fine," Hisashi chuckled, "Just adjusting to being home that's all..."

And just being a big ball of nerves, he thought to himself. At least he had the ring with him, or his whole plan would have gone down the drain because of one silly mistake.

"How about you though? You seemed nervous on the train," he asked Emon.

"Oh, uh, yeah. Um, yeah I'm good now. It was just being on a train. Y'know I don't really go on them," Emon said. Hisashi raised an eyebrow, but decided not to  further question him.

The two continued to chat as they walked towards and into the park. Circled by the new skyscrapers, the park sat at the center of the entire city. Full of green hills and growing trees, it was one of the few areas of nature in the city. It was still a work in progress as workers were busy with putting in new buildings, benches, and pathways, but it was still a nice place for a stroll and a proposal.

The two walked through the park, chatting and enjoying the scenery. While listening to Emon, Hisashi scanned the area, trying to find the best area. It needed to be a private area with no one around, but also needed to be a beautiful area.

All of a sudden, Emon grasped Hisashi's hand and said, "Come with me, I know a good place you need to see." He then started leading him up one of the hills, looked around, and then continued pulling him along. Down the hill, across some of the grass, and up a slightly taller hill. Once they reached the top, Emon stopped and tightened his hand around Hisashi's, looking out at the view of the entire park.

"Wow," Hisashi marveled at the view. It was beautiful... and there wasn't anyone else around... it was perfect.

"I know right. I came here all the time when I was younger. When I had no where else to go, I would just come here..." Emon's grip loosened, so Hisashi gently pulled his hand away and backed up slightly. He pulled the ring box out of his pocket and took a deep breath as he went down on a knee. This was it. It was time.

"It's crazy to think that I've come all this way," Emon continued, still looking at the view, "I used to come here as a young thief just trying to survive. That's all I thought my life would be until the day I died. But you've changed that..." Hisashi watched Emon go grab something from inside his jacket, but he couldn't see what. "...You've shown me that there's more to my life. Life is not just about trying to get by. It's about learning and experiencing new things. It's about love. It's about so much more than I know, So, I took you here in hopes that I can leave the lonely, barely living thief behind and enter a new chapter of our lives. Hisashi Arima, will y—" Emon turned around, about to kneel down, but he stopped halfway. In his hands was a long, wooden box with a black finish, kept shut with a golden latch. He quickly stood up and hid the box back in his jacket, his eyes not leaving Hisashi. He ran one of his hands through his hair as his face started to flush red. "Sai, I— oh my god..." was all he could say.

Hisashi sat there frozen, unsure what to do. He had planned this for weeks, but now everything just jumped out of his brain.

"Were you about to propose..."

Emon lips formed an embarrassed smile as he quickly nodded. Hisashi's mouth hung open and he looked down at the ring box, unsure what to say. Should he just try to stick to his plan or let Emon continue?

"Forget about me, go ahead," Emon whispered, gently pulling Hisashi's chin back up.

"Um, well," Hisashi cleared his throat and took a deep breath in, looking into Emon's eyes. They had a sort of calming aura about them now. Hisashi's lip curled up slightly as he gathered his words.

"I guess to play off what you've said, you have changed my life as well. Before I really got to know you, I probably seemed like a stone cold guy whose only purpose was to work until he no longer could. You have added more purpose to my life... so much more purpose. And, despite trying to understand everything, love was never one I could get a grasp of. Now I feel like I know at least a tiny bit about it from the past few years, and I'm willing to learn more with you. Emon, I love you so much. I will love you until the day I die. Even beyond death, I will always love you..." Hisashi took a pause, trying to catch his breath from speeding up towards the end without taking a moment to breathe. During the pause, he decided to open the ring box, resulting in a quiet gasp from Emon. He glanced up at him to see the reaction. His smile was bigger, but was being slightly hidden behind one of his hands. His calming eyes started to tear up as he looked up from the ring to Hisashi.

"Will you... would you... uh..." Hisashi started, but his mind was back to blanking out. Improvising clearly took all his brain power. It was his turn to blush red.

Emon chuckled, took Hisashi's one hand that wasn't holding the box, and asked "Will you marry me?" Hisashi couldn't help but laugh along as he quickly nodded. Emon then took the polished silver ring and slipped it onto one of Hisashi's fingers, and Hisashi put the other one on Emon.

"By the way, that was my line," Hisashi joked as he gave Emon his ring.

"Technically it was supposed to be mine," Emon said before pulling Hisashi up and into a kiss with his arms around his neck. Once they both pulled away, Emon held Hisashi close and rested his head against his shoulder.

"I love you so much Sai, and thank you for the ring. It's absolutely as beautiful as you are..." Emon said, then remembered his proposal gift. He let go of Hisashi, grabbed the box, went down on his knees, and held the box up.

"This is what I was going to give you... I hope you don't mind it not being a ring..."

Hisashi took the box from him and unlocked the latch. He lifted the lid to find a ornate dagger inside. It had a pale green jade hilt with silver sheath decorated with floral motifs and pale green and red gemstones. He gently picked up the dagger and unsheathed it to reveal a silver, double edged blade.

"This is beautiful," he said in awe, sheathing the blade and placing it carefully back into the box.

"I'm glad you think so. As soon as I saw it, I figured it would be a perfect gift," Emon said, smiling.

"It definitely is. Thank you," Hisashi said, giving Emon a quick peck on the lips.

"Well, should we get out of here and start the next chapter of our lives?" Hisashi asked.

Emon took a hold of Hisashi's hand and said, "I'm ready whenever you are."

They took one more look at the view, and Hisashi started to lead Emon.

"Let's go."

[hoyitspaolo]

An Aquarius looked at his friends as they give him a send off. It's crazy that he's really doing this. To travel to the UK and be with her. His friends gave him words of encouragement and teasings here and there. They shared a couple more words until the PA system says that the plan is about to depart. They've been talking for months and this will be their first time actually seeing each other.

An Aries watched as his girlfriend sitting across from him, eating away her food. She finally looks up and gave him a look, and asked him what he was staring at. He shook his head and laughed a little.. "I just couldn't help but think that I am going to marry you someday, and I get to spend my life with you and grow old with you. And to do this with you, every day.." He looked at her and smiled. She chewed her food silently, then balled up a napkin and threw it at him playfully. Told him to cut that crap as she starts to turn red. They both laughed.

A Cancer stared down at the bouquet of flowers infront of him. He frowned. "What should I get for Allie?" he looked at his phone to look at the clock and frowned. 'Fuck it..' he thought. He knocked on the door, and she opened. She gasped as she finds him in her doorway carrying 6 different kinds of bouquets. He smiled at her sheepishly and said, "I'm sorry, I forgot your favorite flower, but I know how much you love flowers so I got you these..."

A Capricorn comes knocking at her door. "Sam, please? Let me in..." He keeps knocking. He looks around and watches as the rain begins to get heavy and the winds start to get really strong. Her door opens and she peeks her head out, and she looks at him. She opens the door for him and he steps inside, and before she could ask him what he was doing in the middle of the night, she was lifted up and felt his arms around her waist, pulling her into a tight hug. She relaxed and she holds his head.. She wasn't feeling all too well and his response was to be there with her.

A Gemini is arguing with a Virgo. "Me? A Coward. You don't have any right to call me that, when you put the victim card out and--" before he could go and finish his sentence, she stormed away. He sighed. He stood there and watched her as she is surrounded by her friends. He watches her as she laughs and smiles with them. Their eyes meet and she gave him a look. He frowned and he knew had to make this right. He gathered up his courage and approached the group and held her hand, and pulled her aside and he apologized for being an asshole.

A Libra placed his hands on her shoulders and stared deep into her eyes. "Listen to me, Lex. Can you really see yourself without me in your future? Be honest. I know I can't. I just want some confirmation that you still want to be with me. All of this. That you want this. I just really need your reassurance right now.." She places her hands on his cheeks and held him, comforting him and reassuring him that everything was okay.

A Leo watched as his soon-to-be wife walked down the aisle with her father by her side. The crowd was full in gasps and aww's. He felt a hand on his shoulder and he smiled at his best man. She is and always will be beautiful, but today she looked so radiant and glowing in her white dress. He felt some tears forming in his eyes. He lets out a sigh and pinched his eyes a bit. He was too embarrassed to show this kind side of him. Why should he care? He's about to share his life with her..

A Pisces stood with me outside the balcony. To think I would fly myself out to win her back, and it's been months since she moved away. I looked at Pisces as he lits a cigarette and smiled at me. "I know what you're thinking..." he chuckled, "why am I here, did I do the right thing? And buddy, let me tell you.. the fact that you acted on it and you wanted to win her back just shows you truly care about her. You make me, and the rest of the guys feel something.. envy? jealous? I don't know but we're here to show support. I hope wherever it takes you, you will find your peace." We places a hand on my back and he smiled, "you make this hopeless romantic learn to love again, bud.."

A Sagittarius remembered that it was their anniversary coming up, and he knew exactly what to get her. A couple months back, his girlfriend and him were window shopping and she saw the most beautiful necklace in an antique store. She wanted it so bad. She said it looked like her just like her mother's.. He remembered that. Fast forward today, he handed Ellie a box, and he smiled at her. She gasped. She pulls out the necklace. She looked at him all teary eyed, and he flashes her his goofy smile.

A Scorpio drove down the highway, swerving through traffic. His hands tight on the wheel. He looked over the rear view mirror, eyeing for the police. None. He let out a breath of frustation. He wasn't going to mess this up. He knew he was an asshole, but losing Bre? No. He wasn't going to. He wanted to make things right. He got a text from his bestfriend that she was at the club with her friends. He needed to see her. He has to... tonight.

A Taurus slowly takes out his phone and scrolls through. No messages. He looked over at his friends as they're all just chattering and laugh, he smiles at them but he knows he's not being paid any attention. He checks his phone again. He scrolls through his timeline and found out she posted something just a hour ago. He gets a little nervous. Suddenly his phone vibrates. It's her. He sighs in relief. "Brandon..?" His name gets called, he looks up. He laughs and smiles. Thank goodness she messaged him.

A Virgo sat upright from his bed and looked at his phone. If he gets up now and drive to San Antonio, he can catch her bus. He starts to get ready and keeps looking at his clock. He doesn't have much time. Rachel's transfer from San Antonio to Mississippi would take about another hour, so he has to make this right. He knew he messed up. He knew that he lashed out and tried to tell her that this was a mistake. He was wrong, he couldn't let this go. An apology even. He wants to make this right. He grabbed his keys and started to get in his car. Hopefully he won't be too late...

- The Reasons Why.

[buddha-in-disguise]

I have so much to unpack from last night's Supergirl episode. Since it ends at 3am UK time, I often tweet a little before I finally fall asleep. But it is now midday, so here goes on further thoughts on it all. I know this is going to be pretty rambling but I hope it makes sense.

First. Up until this half of the season, not only did Supergirl consistently trend in the UK, so did other words associated with it, most notably Kara and Lena.

Since 5B began, the trending has failed to materialise in the UK. The hiatus of two those blocks almost immediately on top of each other hasn't helped, but it is still a salient point.

Now for the rest. I'm not even sure where to start, but I will try my best.

The opening scenes in the bar.

No Nia. No Kelly. Where were they? Nothing was even mentioned. It wouldn't have taken much to have Alex say if Kelly was working, or running late. Anything. Hell, they had Kelly/Dansen and Nia meet up in a bar scenario in 5A. Why suddenly are they not there? They wouldn't necessarily need dialogue (I mean, Kelly has barely had any since Crisis anyway, so what's new?)

Yet in walks William and suddenly Alex is teasing Kara about inviting him. Winn is also there saying, hey it's okay. You barely know the guy, you had a shitty relationship beforehand, but go ahead, date the dude.

We had a prime opportunity for the Danver sisters to do karaoke together. Instead it was with William. At the expense of sister time (so many would’ve loved the sisters singing together).

So much here is wrong for me as a viewer.

If you have a show about female empowerment, yet the lead of that show is having to be told by others that dating a guy she has barely shared any positive moments with, let alone any romantic feelings for beyond a really awkward moment the episode before; that is not empowering a woman.

All too often Supergirl (as the lead in the show) is looking at dating, but not being capable of making her own romantic choices without the interference from others around her.

The only one I can think of who didn't need that was S1 James and to some degree Adam. Kara showed interest, but ultimately made the decisions on her own. Kara also recognised that with Winn, they were better off as friends. Yet S2 began and inexplicably Kara and James had broken up, and the need for Kara to get told to go for it by others began.

Mon-El was extremely problematic. As is William. Both were allowed to lie, to treat women like garbage at times with immunity. Yet here is another double standard. Kara and the Superfriends lied to Lena for 3 years, yet Lena is a bad person for reacting. I will repeat what has been said I don't know how often about Lena's reaction. It isn't without issue in how she is dealing with it. She isn't evil, but she has handled it badly. Her own emotional trauma, that was partly unpacked in 5A helps though explain why she behaved as she has.Yet, Mon-El faced no consequences for his actions. William can be a complete nightmare in how he treated Kara in 5A, but all is suddenly forgotten about or forgiven because of the reset? That is a cop out if ever there was one.

This hypocrisy is what annoys me the most, and frankly it is misogynistic all too often.

I actually pity any woman who believes it is okay for a man to behave as many do towards Kara. The message it sends is awful. I know the men in my family would be horrified by the actions of these love interests. I know of some men watching the show who feel the same way.

As for Lena and Kara. The trauma both have faced has shaped them. Yet Kara appears unaffected by losing her world a second time when Earth 38 was destroyed. On losing Argo. Sure they got it back, but as a changed merged World. You expect us to believe having to watch an antimatter wave destroy those you love has no effect? That being trapped for months with only the other paragons and Lex didn't cause trauma, even with a positive outcome. That seeing Krypton destroyed the first time wasn’t traumatic enough. That’s not something that just goes away. Add in losing Jeremiah, losing Astra (again), the trauma Supergirl must face when she can’t rescue everyone, that has a lifelong impact.

Lena has shown her emotional trauma has also been lifelong, albeit in a different way. To dismiss the emotional abuse Lena has suffered to attack her actions now is pitiful. Winn even suggests to Kara, that in the future, Lena does come through this, and isn't evil personified some want to make her out to be.

Yet Mon-El gets excused, William gets excused. Ugh. I’m sick of the double standard.

So, let’s unpack this further. Kelly Olsen was in the military. She wasn't just trained, but had an active role in the army. She recounted an event at a checkpoint where she was serving in S4. So she had active service, and it was in that moment when Kelly decided she wanted to help others more.

Kelly also knows the stress of keeping an important part of your life secret. She then also fell in love with a woman, someone who was her Sergeant, who was then killed on patrol (another reason we know Kelly was on active duty). It devastated Kelly who hadn't even told James of her relationship.

Later, upon completing her service, Kelly became a psychologist specialising in trauma.

Nia is also someone facing problems. Not only did her becoming Dreamer lead to discord with her sister, as well as the tragic loss of her mother, she has problems with Brainy. Nia offered to be there for Kelly when she was upset over watching Alex get hurt, but we saw nothing to suggest they had a heart to heart. Azie posted something that suggested they filmed a scene that did this, but it never made it on the final edit. Instead, once again we had William taking screen time.

So anyway, the point of all this is: guess who is placed to actively help Lena and/or Kara with the problems?

Kelly. Who apparently doesn't know Kara is Supergirl yet. So while Kara wonders if she should tell William, she could have the exact same conversations with Alex, only substitute Kelly for William. Overall, the plot could easily be maintained, and the established cast get good solid and plausible screen time. She could even talk to Nia about it, yet doesn't.

Another thing I find hard to understand is why haven't they used the link of Kelly, working at Obsidian North, where they could establish the Leviathan link.

If Lex has made the connection to Leviathan, you are telling me, even without Brainy helping them, Alex, Nia, J'onn and Kara haven't made the same connection? C'mon. Two investigative journalists, one who has won the Pulitzer, two DEO trained agents, and if Kelly was brought in, someone military trained; aren't able to make the connections? J'onn has all those computer banks in the tower, and while none of them are Brainy or Winn, he can't use said computing power? Why bother having it, if they are only props in the background. They could even ask Lena to help, since she has shown willingness to work with them if the reasoning was good enough. Leviathan is someone she knows (after all, Lena could have her memories returned by J’onn too). She knows the danger Leviathan poses. She could use the leverage to still get the lens from Obsidian in a similar way to now, but through Kelly if needed.

Actually, if they are using the tower, how does J’onn afford to pay for all this? I can only assume being as old as he is, he made some great investments over time, allowing him to be independently wealthy? But again nothing really suggests this.

Oh as for Alex leaving the DEO, great. After all, she was the Director but hasn’t been able to lead the DEO in all that time. Let alone some of the morally grey areas the DEO skirted around all too often. Still, where will she get her income from? Does she get paid as part of J’onn’s PI firm? Kara barely makes rent and food costs (at least she says her apartment is rent controlled so wouldn’t be able to afford it otherwise), so no way can she afford to help Alex out financially. Kelly might be able to support her, but again I cannot imagine it would be sustainable.

I feel like banging my head against a brick wall.

Onto Nia. I've said this a few times now, but here I go again. Back to William. I get the reason he came along in regards to Russell and so the Andrea connection. That story made sense. What hasn't made sense - William being used as a journalist, when Nia is right there! Nia has barely had any screen time, and virtually none as a journalist; you know - her actual job. I'm not sure what the minutes on screen ratio has been this season between the two, but it has felt completely slanted towards William as a viewer.

Instead of Kara and Nia investigating Leviathan after William was 'exposed' in 5A, now Nia is sidelined again, because they want Kara to team up with William to investigate Lex. Why do they need that journalistic pairing of William and Kara, when Nia - who as a Superhero, is better placed if danger from Lex occurs. But no, they're making it about Kara having to work with William because Lex threatened to kill him. Plus Nia was being mentored by Kara. Is she no longer being mentored by Kara? Are they a team? Even if the mentoring has ended, Nia is still not being utilised as a journalist. As the saying goes, make it make sense!

As for Lex. I love Jon Cryer. I’ve loved his version of Lex, but once again I feel Lena is just as well placed to take on his role in bringing down Leviathan. Why add another villain to this plot? We were told it was Leviathan who were the bad guys for this season, but once again we barely have a glimpse of them, but all the screen time on Lex, also to the detriment of Lena. We could be using this time to begin to mend Lena’s relationships with not only Kara, but the Superfriends. Instead we are getting bit and pieces, that seemingly bear little resemblance to the ‘fight for Lena’s soul’, or the ‘Stronger together, weaker apart’ tag lines the SG team used to market the series in 5A. (See attached photo). So again, this is frustrating for us to watch, as there is absolutely no cohesion to the storytelling. We know it is the ‘nothing is as it seems’ season, but to have no really coherent storylines so far this late on? It is baffling for me.

The sidelining of Nia and Kelly also brings to the fore the way the LGBTQ characters are being treated.

Dansen feels like a long lost legend from the mists of time. As I said earlier, there was a perfect opportunity for a Dansen scene in the opening part of the show, yet we might as well watch tumbleweeds fly past, for all the screen time Dansen or Nia have had. Well, rather haven’t had.

It seems we shouldn't ask for justification as to why William is on the show, but when we say the LGBTQ characters are being sidelined, that it doesn't matter one jot how diverse a cast can be; if said cast are not being given credible storylines or screentime, and if we say as much, we have to continually justify why that is the case. We get told to take what we are given. To insist on better, is oppressing white CIS men (in some cases CIS women have argued the same). This isn't oppressing anyone, but asking that if we get given relationships, given characters we want to invest in, they get the storylines to accomplish that. Supergirl is failing the LGBTQ audience so badly at the moment. So many have the same complaints it is ludicrous to suggest this is just one section of a fandom or trolls.

What I'm taking from all this at the moment is that 20% of the main viewing demographic as per GLAAD figures (and more besides, as I've seen straight viewers recognising the problems as well), have serious concerns with Supergirl.

But keep telling us we are overreacting. Or we should take what we are given. Or that we are delusional. After all, it is the kind of crap we have sprouted at us continually away from Supergirl, why shouldn't it be the case here.

I look at S4, heck even 5A, to what the show is doing now and it feels like an unmitigated disaster. Episodes are running out fast, so even if they increase Dansen, or Nia's screen time, it won't be enough to make up what has been lost. They're running out of time to give us a solid ending that ties up the mess they've created.

I really don’t know where this will end? CW Supergirl - do better. You have some phenomenal actors and actresses in your cast. Do them and your audience justice. Because right now you aren’t at all.

[scarlettlawyer]

This is fanfiction of a fanfiction! Specifically, the Phantoms and Mirages fanfiction series by Meowzy (renegadewangs on tumblr), which can be found over at AO3! This post’s fic contains SPOILERS for the series up until the end of Lifting Spirits, the fourth installment. If you have not read the Phantoms & Mirages series up until at least the end of Lifting Spirits, it will not make a lick of sense to you either! So I would highly recommend checking the series out first if you would like to give this post a read. I would still recommend checking it out if you don’t want to give this post a read too! :P

Anyway here is the little thing I wrote just in case others would like to read it :)

-------------------

Date: December 25th 2028 Time: 10:14 AM Location: Wright Anything Agency.

It was Christmas morning, and it had been six days since his client had been handed down the death sentence in court.

The execution had already been carried out, he’d heard. Just as swiftly as the court’s verdict promised.

Phoenix Wright wasn’t feeling especially festive, but it was Christmas, so putting a smile on his face and doing his best to carry on as usual was the least he could do. He had to, at least for Trucy’s sake. It wouldn’t be fair to let recent grim events detract from her celebrating and enjoying today.

But he supposed he couldn’t act like this was just like any other Christmas, either. They’d rarely seen Athena in the past few days – she had taken the outcome of the trial especially hard.

And Apollo…

There’d been friction as of late. That was undeniable, and impossible to avoid. He’d starkly disagreed with his and Athena’s actions starting back when they’d acted as the Phantom’s defense team, but he’d soon learned afterwards how that had all been a ploy, and then Apollo had quickly understood, any discontent completely washed away.

It had been for a good cause, after all – to ensure that the spy known as Mirage was caught and faced justice. The Phantom’s role in that trial had only been relevant insofar as it had furthered that goal; it had nothing to do with Phoenix and Athena actually supporting him or advocating on his behalf outside of that. Once Apollo realised that, he’d been at ease once more and all was well.

The trial for Alexander Luster Jr., though, that was different. There was no ploy; it was a completely genuine and earnest attempt to seek a second chance to be granted for a man to turn his life around for the better, and for him to have a future. Athena and Phoenix had actively chosen to stand by that man’s side and fight for his second chance.

And that core stance was the source of the fundamental and insurmountable disagreement between Apollo and the two of them. Apollo could not, and would not understand their decision to advocate for that second chance. Phoenix couldn’t entirely blame him, and it would be unfair to expect Apollo to understand.

It didn’t matter now; they’d lost, in the end. Alexander Luster Jr., the Phantom, whatever you wanted to call him, was dead now. Apollo’s stance had ultimately won out and it was the one that the court system had officially endorsed. 

—————- 

Date: December 19th 2028 Time: 12:04 PM Location: District Court – Courtroom No. 4.

He continued to stand by the defense’s bench in the wake of the verdict, motionless and paralysed, as his client was carried away screaming, forced towards his impending death. 

There was nothing Phoenix could do but stand there uselessly. His mind was blank as the chaos went on around him.

And just like that, his client had been taken away, but the impact of the day’s events was still unfolding everywhere in the courtroom.

Whenever he was involved in a case, the court had never really come to the wrong decision before. Even when losing a case, there hadn’t been any issue because it was the correct and just outcome. The only other time the outcome of a trial he’d defended in had felt so utterly wretched and bleak and wrong was when he’d lost his badge.

His badge…

A very dark moment passed over him. If he couldn’t ensure a just outcome, if he couldn’t protect his client, then what was the point? Why stand in court?

He stood frozen, and the sudden mad urge to tear off his badge subsided. There was no way he could cast it aside so easily, not after everything he’d been through. That wouldn’t be right either. He couldn’t do that to Trucy. And Edgeworth had done so much to help him and to get it back.

To throw it all away… it was something he felt that he probably would have done many years ago, if he hadn’t been able to bring Matt Engarde to justice. But this situation wasn’t quite so dire, and back then he hadn’t had a daughter and two apprentices to think about. Back then, he’d never experienced having his badge taken away from him either, hadn’t suffered so much and for so long before he could get it back again.

But ultimately, what did this symbolic representation of his membership to the legal profession even amount to? He’d been proven useless in the end. It was all futile. He was supposed to act as an agent of the law to ensure justice for all. It was supposed to result in justice for everyone, but… Phoenix wasn’t so sure what to think about that anymore.

Still, he had duties that he was bound by. Duties to the people around him, and to carry on with his work… he just needed to make sure he didn’t suddenly find himself entrapped by the very things that used to feel freeing.

Time passed, and the courtroom grew to be practically empty. He didn’t know how long he’d been standing there, but it must have been a while.

He started to walk. It was an aimless gesture with no real intent, hardly paying attention to where his feet might be carrying him.

“Daddy, there you are…! Polly and I, we found-”

“-Athena,” Phoenix said automatically upon catching sight of her. She was looking quite the worse for wear, and Apollo was standing by her side, awkwardly trying to offer support.

“Hey, it’s okay, I’m here for you. It doesn’t have to be like this. You don’t have to be sad. There’s no use crying over him - think of how much the Phantom has taken from us all. He can’t hurt anyone anymore, now. It’s over and it’s best we all move on… There was never really any other way. This was necessary for-”

“You don’t GET to decide when someone’s life ending is NECESSARY, Apollo!”

Apollo started back in shock, Athena’s sudden fierce tone forcing him into silence as she continued.

“Do you think that his death will magically make the past better? Can it undo anything that’s already been done?! Who are you to decide that a human life should be offered up as some kind of,” she waved her hand about wildly, “sacrificial stepping stone for your own personal development to make you feel better? Execution doesn’t bring back the dead. It only adds to the death! Another lifeless body thrown upon the pile.”

Widget had turned from dark blue to red in a flash at Apollo’s words, before reverting back to a deep blue once more. Evidently, Apollo hadn’t expected his attempt to console her to be met with such defiant anger. After a few moments, his response came, unusually quiet, but firm and resolute.

“You’re right. It’s not for me to decide. It’s for the courts to decide. And a conclusion has already been reached for this case. It’s not about feeling better – it’s about what’s right, and what needs to be done. It’s about justice. The sooner you see that, the sooner you can heal.”

“You think-,” she broke off, her voice struggling with the effort it took stave off sobs. “You call this justice? Lex – didn’t want – to h-hurt anyone! He just wanted - to live! He was a – new person, and-,” she then shook her head, breathing heavily. “I’ve gotta go.” At that, she rushed out the door.

Apollo sighed, his expression dismayed and stern. “She’s too far gone,” Phoenix heard him mutter to himself.

“Apollo-”

“No, Mr Wright. Do you expect me to feed the idealistic fantasies she’s constructed? Because I can’t. It’s not healthy… For either of us. I just can’t- I mean, don’t you think… things have been hard enough as it is? Every now and then, I still find myself checking my phone on occasion, expecting to see a new message from Clay… Out of habit. Even thinking about that… Phantom is a constant painful reminder. I’m sick of it - I don’t want to have to hear about that killer anymore, and I shouldn’t have to.”

Apollo paused to catch his breath and calm down somewhat, and Phoenix let him.

“’Who am I to decide’…? Who was the Phantom to decide that ending Clay’s life – anyone’s life was necessary? There’s no use… distorting things into such a one-sided picture, because life doesn’t discriminate. It doesn’t matter who you are, in the end. What’s done is done, and everyone needs to be held to equal standards of accountability for their own actions. Isn’t that what justice is? No one is so special that they are above the law, yet even you seem to need reminding of that right now. She should know – and we should know this better than anyone. We’re lawyers. This is how our legal system works!”

Alexander Luster’s final, terrified and desperate screams that had filled the air as he begged and pleaded for his life before he was dragged from the courtroom were still ringing in his mind, branded deeply, haunting him with the horror of a life knowingly about to be cut off. The inherent horror of the awareness there must be, that it was your life at its end, your life that you barely knew.

This is how… their legal system works.

This can’t be right.

It shouldn’t have ended like this. It was his fault. He could have prevented this. He could have done more. He could have saved a life, if he’d just tried harder.

It was all… wrong.

“…I’m sorry, Apollo. This is one case where… we won’t be able to see eye to eye. We don’t have to agree on this; you don’t have to understand. Right now, I think we should just give each other space.”

Apollo’s mouth set in a grim line. “Fine. Next I see you, I hope you’ll have actually regained some of your senses.” And with that, he stormed off.

Maybe Apollo was right, in a sense. Maybe the system was working exactly as it was supposed to. The courts would swallow up input, spit out a result, and whatever that result happened to be the citizens are demanded to gaze upon it and call it “justice”. If it pleased or displeased the masses, then so be it. Maybe, on some level, the idea was that the result didn’t have to make sense. Maybe there just had to be one, so that everyone else would then be free to go home and carry on with their lives, their legal truths set in stone.

—————-

Date: December 25th 2028 Time: 10:21 AM Location: Wright Anything Agency.

The next he did see Apollo after that, neither of them had said a word about the incident.

It would be wrong for Phoenix to hold Apollo’s feelings about it all against him, and he didn’t. Apollo had lost his best friend. And Apollo knew that the verdict had dealt a blow to both Athena and Phoenix. Even if he clearly disapproved and thought that the Phantom wasn’t worth anyone’s time up until the very end, he made a point of doing his best to not say anything that would exacerbate the strain that was present or add any unnecessary grief, after that instance gone awry. It was an unspoken intent to keep the peace amongst them; neither would voice any of the internal thoughts that may upset the other when in their presence.

Lessons had been learned when Apollo had unintentionally overstepped, but Athena had been the first one to apologise when they’d crossed paths the next day. She apologised for yelling at him, and he apologised for unintentionally making things worse, and they were able to leave it at that.

Even so, their interactions had been rather stiff as of late. After all, there was still the uncomfortable fact hanging over the three of them that Apollo was pleased with the very same verdict that had left Athena crying out desperately, even attempting to stop the Interpol agents from taking the former spy away. So much for the Wright Anything Agency all coming together for Christmas…

So there it was: Apollo was happy with the outcome. Athena was devastated. And Phoenix, well…

Phoenix still personally disagreed with Apollo and could not internalise the Judge’s decision as the right one.

So here he was, still a lawyer, on Christmas morning. He was acting cheerful, and so was Trucy. She’d loved her presents, just as Phoenix had hoped, and hugged him enthusiastically as she’d thanked him. But Trucy was a smart girl and must have known not everything was currently as well as it could be, and that relations among the Wright Anything Agency had seen better days. Maybe, to some extent, she was actively injecting enthusiasm into her demeanour for that reason, too.

He just needed to keep staving off the depressing thoughts. He had time… time to come to terms with the verdict, and what it might mean, on some other day. Today was for focusing on family.

Suffice it to say, given everything, he hadn’t been expecting Athena to march right through the door with such lightness and energy to her demeanour.

“Merry Christmas!” she exclaimed, a bright grin settling on her face. She dumped a bag on the floor which Phoenix could see contained some wrapped gifts.

“Merry Christmas, Athena! Good to see you,” Trucy beamed.

“So what’s the go, Boss? I sure hope you’ve got a big Christmas lunch on the way, ‘cause I’m hungry!”

Phoenix rubbed the back of his neck and grinned sheepishly, a little taken off-guard. He hadn’t even had the chance to greet her yet! “W-wait, but if you’re hungry, didn’t you have anything this morning?”

Athena reached up to tap at her earring, causing it to sway. “Well, I did have brunch just earlier with Simon and Bobby, but… The point is, I know I will be hungry once it’s lunchtime!” She thrust a peace sign in Phoenix’s direction and continued, “Big meals are an essential part of Christmas, anyway!”

Phoenix might have thought that she was forcing some kind of cheerful act, were it not for the fact that Widget was glowing green with genuine happiness. But even if it wasn’t for that, he would have been hard-pressed to deny the essential truth that her high spirits seemed to ring with.

“So, um… Where’s Apollo?” she asked, her tone softening a little.

“Ah,” was all Phoenix offered in reply.

“Maybe… you should give him a call? Invite him over. That’s- if he’s not busy with other plans, that is. We can’t have a Wright Anything Agency Christmas party without him, after all.”

“Hah, there’s nothing Polly could be too busy with that he can’t drop it all at a moment’s notice to see us! Isn’t that right, Daddy?” Trucy urged.

“Ahaha, I guess there’s only one way to find out.”

—————-

Date: December 25th 2028 Time: 1:34 PM Location: Wright Anything Agency.

As it turned out, although Apollo was involved in other plans and couldn’t leave immediately, he had promised to be there in the afternoon. He should be arriving any minute, now.

It was strange; Phoenix really hadn’t thought they’d be able to salvage the day to this extent, but here they were. It was just as it should be – everyone was upbeat, Apollo was on his way over, and they could all forget any troubles. Phoenix didn’t need to pretend to be upbeat as they played makeshift games and unwrapped more presents. It was just a shame that Edgeworth wouldn’t be arriving until a bit later, too, but once he did, there’d still be all the rest of the afternoon and the evening to spend together at the Wright Agency Christmas party.

Speaking of which, he’d needed to leave the main room to take a phone call from Edgeworth. It had gone on for longer than planned, and he stopped himself just before stepping back into the room once the call was over, not wanting to intrude on the solemn exchange of words that seemed to be taking place between Athena and Trucy.

“-was so worried. You’re sure you’re okay?” Trucy was saying.

Phoenix hadn’t meant to overhear that, but in truth, this had been nagging at the back of his mind as well. It seemed odd for Athena to have bounced back to normal so quickly… And the worst of times are when lawyers have to force their biggest smiles.

“Don’t worry about me. I’m fine, I promise.”

Trucy nodded. “…Alright, I believe you.”

“Besides, today’s not the day to go around being gloomy… But thank you. It’s touching that you care.”

And when Trucy left the room to get some materials prepared for an elaborate magic trick so it could be ready for Apollo’s arrival, it was Phoenix’s turn to speak to Athena one-on-one.

“I’ve been meaning to ask. You said you had brunch with Blackquill and Agent Fulbright this morning, didn’t you? How… How are they?”

“Ohh…” Athena seemed to think carefully for a moment, searching for the right words. “I think… they’re going to be okay. I think they’re going to be just fine.”

“Hmm…” I’m sorry, he wanted to say, I feel like I let them both down. And I let you down, too. But there was something holding him back. “And what about you?”

“Me? Come on, Boss. I know you heard what I said to Trucy earlier – you’re not that subtle with your eavesdropping, you know. I’m alright, and how could I not be? It’s Christmas Day and I’ve been spending it with my friends.”

Ahh, caught red-handed, it seemed. “But, aren’t you… sad?” he tried. Something still didn’t seem to add up.

“Of course I’m sad–”

… Interesting.

“-but there’s a time and a place for sadness. I don’t want to be all miserable right now. I don’t want to focus on less pleasant things. So, let’s continue enjoying the rest of today. …Mr. Wright?”

“R-Right! You’re right.” His phone beeped. “Ah… Apollo will be here in five minutes.”

In actuality, Apollo arrived in three minutes’ time, bearing presents of his own. After responding to Trucy’s enthusiastic welcome, there was a brief awkward silence when he caught sight of Athena.

“…Hey, Apollo,” she said, holding out a present done up in shiny red wrapping, “got you a gift!”

“Athena! Mr. Wright said you were here, but I thought-,” he shook his head. “…Thank you. Merry Christmas.”

Just like that, everything felt so normal again, among everyone.

It was a crazy thought, but

…Maybe, somehow, everything had all worked out in the end. There was something about Athena’s demeanour that put him at ease, allowing him to trust that all was well… it allowed him to trust in justice.

Maybe, he didn’t quite have the full picture. That was alright with him; he didn’t need to pry any further.

In this case, just the idea of it was enough. 

[emiliarowan]

Are you cool with writing Pregnant Lena fic? ABO. I have two prompts actually. One is post Season 4 after Lena learns Kara's true identity from Lex. Another one is AU. Human Kara. In this AU Kara is wealthy, married to Siobhan who is infertile. Their marriage is strictly based on business between two families. Kara isn't love with Siobhan but forced to marry her for business reasons. And Kara hires Lena (surrogate mother) to bear her child. Alpha Kara/Omega Lena.

I received these prompts, and I couldn’t get my mind off the second one. I’m not comfortable doing broken marriage/cheating plots, so I messaged @go-anon-universe and we talked about changing that particular detail. So here’s the first tiny bit of the first chapter for this one, hope you like it.

“This is complete bullshit!”

Kara stormed out of the office, drawing the eyes of every employee in the main space. Heads poked up over the tops of cubicles like meerkats on the savannah as the irate alpha stormed past, down the hallway, and into the restroom. She paced the small sitting area outside the toilets, fighting the urge to hurl one of the atrocious pink-upholstered chairs across the room or slam her fist into the closest mirror. It had been years since the last time she did any property damage, but it had also been years since she had been this angry.

The door opened and her aunt entered the room, looking like Kara’s opposite in almost every way. Her blue eyes were cold and calculating where Kara’s were flaming with emotion, her dark hair was down in immaculate curls where Kara’s blonde locks were rapidly escaping the ponytail she kept them in, her suit was impeccably crisp whereas Kara’s blouse and trousers were rumpled from her outburst.

“What?” Kara demanded as her aunt’s passive expression just stoked her furor.

“Do you really think such an outburst will change things?” Astra asked patiently. “If anything it just proves your parents’ point— you aren’t ready.”

Kara snorted. “They’re dead, how could they possibly know if I’m ready or not? And how can you say that I’m not ready? I’ve worked for this company for years, just like they asked. I’ve worked in every department, at every level. I know my employees, I respect my employees, from the custodians who clean up in the evenings and the mail boys who deliver packages to Phipps up there in the executive suite— I don’t like him, but I respect him. How can you say that I’m not ready to lead this company?”

“You’re impulsive,” Astra said evenly. “You charge into quarrels without thought. When you’ve got your mind made up, you refuse to listen to the advice of others. You think of your employees in your decisions, yes, but you often lack the ability to see how your decisions will play out in the long run. It’s not that you’re not a good leader for this company Kara— it’s that you could be better.”

“And you think having a mate and a child would make me better?” Kara demanded.

Astra clenched her hands in thought. “Your parents thought so. I know you weren’t old enough to remember them the way I do, but you’re very similar to Zorel. He was a good leader, but impulsive, smart, respectful, but he lacked vision. When he and Alura married, it changed him, and when they had you… Suddenly he had more to think about than just himself, he had a legacy. I imagine when they wrote this clause, they believed that they would be here with you when this time came, that they would be able to guide you.”

“But they’re not,” Kara said bitterly. “I have you, though. Surely there’s something you can do about this, Aunt Astra.”

Astra sighed. “I’ve spoken to the attorneys. Your parents’ wills are ironclad, Kara. Contesting it would put us in litigation for years, it would mean removing you from the company for that time and leaving you with less than you have now. Not to mention the press for the company and how it would affect our numbers.”

“So the easiest thing to do would be for me to just accept it, is that what you’re saying?” Kara asked.

“You know, having a mate and children isn’t exactly the end of the world,” Astra told her. “If I remember correctly, there was a time when you wanted just that.”

Kara bristled. “Yeah, well, that was a long time ago.”

“To you, perhaps,” Astra shrugged. “Of course, to me it wasn’t very long ago when we were playing hide and seek in the gardens at your father’s estate and you were little more than a flaxen-haired cherub. Now here we are discussing business negotiations and mates.”

Kara sighed, sitting in one of the ugly pink chairs. She pulled her hair loose and pulled off her glasses so she could pinch the bridge of her nose, hoping to alleviate the headache she could feel coming on. “So I have…”

“Three months,” Astra told her. “You must obtain a mate and conceive an heir in three months, or your shares in the company are forfeited.”

“And how exactly do I get that done in three months?” Kara demanded, though her earlier anger had faded slightly.

“Well you’ve known about this clause in your parents’ will since your eighteenth birthday, so forgive me if I don’t pity you for procrastinating,” Astra said. “But if you at least have the mate part, perhaps we can push a bit on the heir part of the contract. Conception can be a tricky thing, balancing heats and ruts and…”

“I’m aware,” Kara grumbled. She stiffened her spine and stood, smoothing down her blouse and trousers. Astra circled around her and began gently pulling her hair back into a neat updo, her long fingers soothing along Kara’s scalp much like she remembered her mother doing when she was a child.

“There,” Astra said as Kara replaced her glasses. “Now, go apologize to Mr. Jones and his associates for your outburst. I won’t have my niece being seen as some beast of an alpha who can’t control her testosterone.”

“Of course,” Kara replied with a sigh. “And Aunt Astra… thank you.”

[mavmax]

Doomsday | Self-Para

When: Last Thursday 

Where: Around Santa Monica

Warnings: Panic Attack (no it wasn’t Maverick. DON’T COME FOR ME) 

Featuring: Lexa Maxwell 

6am - 7am

Thursday started out like every other. Wake up at 6am, head to the gym, workout, head home, hit the showers, and eat breakfast watching TikTok while the news plays quietly in the background. Normally, he didn’t pay attention to the news but his parents, especially his dad was particularly on his ass about hearing about Maxwell Energy’s stock spiking again. With that money, he could use that to anonymously fund his favorite pizzeria. The cogs in his head were slowly beginning to turn as he took another bite of his honey nut cheerios. 

8am - 12pm 

A fifteen minute drive to UCLA from Pico wasn’t bad around this time of day. Time passed by while listening to his favorite radio show, the talkshow hosts roasting each other and egging on Gossip God as today was the infamous Thirsty Ask Thursday. Many residents of Santa Monica sat at the edge of their seats, but Maverick, personally didn’t care what was said about him. Even the worst of rumors, he’d taken head on with a smile on his face...much to his sisters’ chagrin. 

Arriving to class on time was a bonus at least. Sliding into his seat and his glasses resting on his nose. He had zoned out a few times while taking notes, mostly thinking about the weekend. Basketball game Friday, hang out with the boys Friday night. Mom’s chemo was Saturday morning, followed by Maxwell Energy’s congratulatory luncheon for Lexa’s first year as CEO. He had bugged Lexa earlier about throwing a party but she fought back saying she wasn’t going to brag in the middle of a crisis--whatever the hell that meant. Sunday was meant for relaxing, although knowing his parents it would mean brunch with the family before he could actually relax. It was a lot. 

The hours seemed to have droned on until his final class from 11-12:30pm, except there was more bustling in the class than usual. Everyone had their laptops out, one side taking notes, the other side anxiously waiting for none other than Gossip God to make his weekly appearance on The Santa Monica Times page. Maverick remained focus on his notes until the green circle began to appear on the right side of everyone’s laptops signifying that Gossip God had been awakened. 

There were occasional whispers among students while the professor attempted to teach the best she could, knowing that people would be more focused on gossip than the actual class. Maverick gave his professor props for holding it together, which is why he was hyper-focused on his work until someone nudged him to look on the right hand side on his screen when he suddenly saw pictures of Eric and Soo-Yun plastered all over the site. He could feel his heart drop to the very bit of his stomach. 

“Eh, it’s fair game,” Mav whispered with a pout. Everyone around him was rather shocked at his reaction. Not at the fact that he was pouting, but the fact that he wasn’t seething. Raging. Incredibly angry, hurt. Instead, it was just a pout. Like a kid not getting his way at the store because his mom said no. It was simply that. 

1pm

Maverick was headed home after grabbing some lunch on the way when his favorite radio station was reporting Gossip God’s Thirsty Ask Thursday posts that were coming up. Some were comical, others were...not. He hoped those people were thick skinned or had one hell of a support system for the shit that was being said. Before he was headed to the exit, his phone began to ring. It was Flo, Lexa’s receptionist. 

“Talk to me,” Maverick responded with a smile. 

“Mr. Maxwell--I mean--M-Maverick, I-I’m sorry to interrupt you right now, but is there a possibility you can come to the office right now?” Her voice was in a hushed whisper. 

“Yeah, what’s up?” He asked. 

“Well, um...Miss Maxwell...she--” She trailed off when there was the sound of a loud thud. 

“Oh. Say no more. I’m on my way,” Mav added. 

“Thank you, please hurry!” She quickly said before hanging up. 

Maverick shook his head. He saw this coming a mile away but he had to have a stubborn ass big sister. He had to go in as carefully as he could otherwise he’d probably lose his own head. He shot a text to Izzy to keep her in the loop about everything and warned her to stay her ass off any social media for the next 48 hours with how everything was going. 

1:30pm

As he made his way into the office, he practically bounced in, already clearly having gotten over the ordeal that one of his best friends was messing around with his crush, but it was what it was. He was attractive, he was smart, and athletic, he wasn’t going to dwell on that shit and get all bent out of shape, for what? Lexa on the other hand...it went deep for her. She and Eric had this special bond, but...it looks like she was too late, or maybe he wasn’t into her like that and she misread it. On the upside, their dad wasn’t in because it was their mom’s doctor appointment and Lexa’s floor was just her and Flo. Flo wasn’t a snitch, thank god. 

Flo’s face brightened up. 

“Maverick, how great of you to have made it! Miss Maxwell’s right this way,” She said quickly. 

“How’s she doing?” He asked curiously, trying his best to peek through the blinds, to no avail. 

“Between being worried about your mother and...whatever was said on Gossip God, badly,” She said with a soft sigh. After Lexa’s revelation, he promised to keep it a secret, but one thing he knew was that this was Lexa’s mania acting up.

“Don’t worry about it. The whole thing’s been pretty stressful, I think Lexa’s just taking on too much, you know?” He added. “Are there any meetings that she needs to attend?” He asked curiously. 

Flo looked at her screen and then said, “She’s got a 2:30 and a 4pm. Shall I cancel those for her?” 

“I’ll go on her behalf. She’ll have the rest of the day off and tomorrow as well,” He reassured the woman with a smile. Flo nodded, seeming to relax at his reassurance. 

He entered his sister’s office to see her with her head down and her phone with a spider-webbed crack. He sighed, shaking his head. 

“Lex,” He began carefully. “Hey,” He nudged her and watched as she lifted her head, mascara streaming down her face. 

“It hurt that much, didn’t it?” 

She shrugged, going to reach for tissues to wipe her eyes. 

“I thought I could keep it together with mom and work, then this happened and I couldn’t control the surge of emotion,” She sighed. 

“You need a break,” Mav began before Lexa interrupted him with,

“I need to get through the rest of these meetings.” 

“Alexandra. You need a break before you implode on yourself. Sometimes all great leaders need a break. You’ve busted ass this past year. You deserve it,” He said with a wry grin. Lexa glared at Mav for a moment before relenting. 

“You need a hug?” He offered

“No,” She said with a grin. “But thank you, Maverick. I do need a break. I also need wine.” 

“Is it about-” 

“We’re not going to even mention it.” 

“Bet.” 

5pm-7pm

Maverick playing boss for the day was weird. Sure, he knew everything that parents and Lexa had taught him, but it was always weird to sit there and talk to these hot shots and watch them all look at him up and down, surprised to hear him knowing his shit. Hell, it was exhausting. He couldn’t even imagine how Lexa dealt with that shit as a woman. 

Finally, he made it home, crashed on his bed as his phone began to blow up between Gossip God alerts and friends reaching out to ask him if he was okay. Frankly, he was fine, despite taking a bit of an L, but you win some and you lose some. After ordering pizza because of the lack of willpower to cook, he scrolled watching some horrible pieces of gossip rolling in about his hyungie, Sunwoo and his friends Kian and Jae-Sang. 

“Jesus, GG, can you let up on those three for once?” He mumbled to himself. 

To add insult to injury, Ivy, his friend AJ’s sister was also heavily involved, they even threw in AJ and Lydia as well. This Thursday was particularly brutal for a lot of people. All he could hope was that everyone was okay. He wasn’t going to message anyone seeing as how, it was bad enough that their business was aired out for all of Santa Monica to see, but he did want to let everyone know that he would be supportive for them and so, he took to twitter to make known his stance. 

@MavMax: My friends names must be candy to @gossipgod, but beware bc those names will rot those pearly whites of yours. 

@MavMax: My money’s on Jae-Sang & Kian to whoop @gossipgod #JustSaying 

@MavMax: Shout out to the realest ones out here hustling. @gossipgod’s just jealous for wasting his youth on talking shit about his peers. 

@MavMax: RT:@AJSiciliani: “All talk no action” @gossipgod 

And with that, Maverick left his phone off to the side and tuned into Netflix to watch Bridgerton, and finish up his homework for the rest of the week. 

[cruztms]

「 froy gutierrez. cis male. he+him. 」i hope that #lexsquad member「 CRUZ MONTOYA 」adds me to the squad !  the 「 TWENTY-ONE 」year old 「 GENERAL STUDIES 」 major has been apart of the squad since 「 AUGUST 2019 」and seems to be the 「 CASANOVA 」of the group. 「 CRUZ ��is a「 SOPHOMORE 」 and seems to enjoy 「 PLAYING GUITAR IN HIS ROOM 」but you can always find them at a squad party , too !

greetings , loved ones ! i’m blue and this is my lil baby cruz montoya ! he’s ... an idiot and i hope that you love him as much as i do ! i have some wanted connections HERE + you can like this + i’ll send you a lil message for plotting !

STATISTICS.

full name : cruz samuel montoya

major : general studies ( plans to focus on a major next year ) 

orientation : panseuxal

hometown : austin , texas. 

height : 5′10

build : toned , muscular

BACKGROUND.

cruz was born in austin , tx. to a single father who was struggling w/ his sexuality and had a one night stand the resulted in cruz being born and his dad deciding to keep him.

cruz’s mom booked it before he was even two. 

as a kid , cruz ran away from home multiple times when he was a kid because he was a #rebel and his dad wasn’t able to give him a ton of attention.

failed the 9th grade because he would skip all the time.

between 9th and 10th grade his dad met & got married to a wealthy man who he knew from high school. at first cruz hated him … immensely because he wanted cruz to change , but eventually the man grew on him.

he never really grew out of his rebellious phase , but his stepdad helped him stay in line with his life and actually graduate.

for a while , he had an open like to his stepdads funds , but after cruz graduated high school , his dads wanted him to do more with his life.

so , cruz used just about the only thing he was good at to get himself a scholarship –– football.

now , he doesn’t love sports , but he’s good at it and lets be honest , he wasn’t going to get into lexington without a scholarship. :/

so , he got a scholarship , moved to cali , and started at lex when he was nineteen. 

what cruz really loves is music , something him and his dad bonded over from a young age.

however , he doesn’t think he’d really get anywhere as a music so he works for this step-dad remotely to make money and he doesn’t really plan on doing much other than that.

ideally , cruz would be a musician if he could but he thinks he’s not capable of much anything. :( my baby.

PERSONALITY.

as far as personality goes , cruz is spoiled. very much wants what he wants and will get it.

generally , though , he has a radiant personality. people like being around him. people like talking to him. 

he acts a little … stupid but he’s actually pretty intelligent. most of the time. he just doesn’t really apply his smarts to anything useful. he can list all of carly rae jepsens discography but he probably can’t divide without a calculator. 

generally speaking , cruz is ... pretty annoying. not in the way that you wanna punch him , but he says things and a lot of the times people just assume he lacks common sense because tbh he does. 

also lacks some basic manners but will apologize for his own impoliteness.

basically like … a frat bro … who loves music

speaking of, he’s definitely in a frat. 

HEADCANONS.

he speaks spanish and english fluently , spanish being his first language. his dad + step dad are both mexican and they speak primarily spanish at home. 

he can play the guitar and the keyboard/piano , two gifts to him when he was younger from his dad.

he’s always been super connected to music and is a pretty skilled guitarist , but he’s dumb and hasn’t done anything with it.

sometimes will post himself singing or playing an instrument on instagram and acts like he’s not really good. he is definitely good. 

has a decent sized following on both instagram and twitter. 

a big , big dumb.

[anothers-trash-my-treasure]

Bittersweet - Chapter Seven

“I hope it doesn’t take me a month to get the next one out.” lmfaaoooo I’m so sorry it’s been like a month and a week. Better late than never right? Enjoy!

Pairing: Merriell Shelton / Reader (femme)

Warnings: Swearing, kind of cheating? Emotional vulnerability. Let me know if I should tag something else

Word Count: 3430

Tag List: @ahkmenrami1205 @itsme690 @xoa-lex @ramibaby @r-ahh-mi @xmxisxforxmaybe @sherlollydramoine​ @txmel​ @moon-stars-soul​

Let me know if you want to be added to my tag list.

Six months. 

It’s been six months since I left New Orleans. And over those six months, I had let myself go. The first few days I was home I did nothing but cry and analyze every moment we spent together, wondering where the hell we went wrong. Was it something I did or was it just the way he was? I found myself unable to stop thinking about him. When my friends finally dragged me out of the house he was everywhere. Any person with green eyes, or unruly curly hair or olive-toned skin sent my mind reeling. My heart stopped with every slow, southern accent and my heart ached anytime something reminded me of him. 

For six months, I woke up every day checking my phone for any interaction with him. Any kind of text message, Facebook or Instagram like, any recent activity that I could cling to because it was all I had left of him. I even looked at everything Eugene posted because maybe, just maybe, that could give me some insight as to what they were up to since we left. I never answered his apology text. What was there to say? I couldn’t tell him it was okay, that I understood because it wasn’t okay and I didn’t understand. I couldn’t tell him I was disappointed or be honest about my feelings because what was the point? He had made his decision, he didn’t want me. And that was clear enough.

But finally, six months later, I felt ready and confident enough to move on.

Chloe had set me up with her friend Colin. Colin was, all in all, the perfect guy. He was funny and sweet and caring. We started hanging out more and more and I really enjoyed hanging out with him for the time being. I told him everything about Merriell. I told him how hard I fell for the witty cajun, how he made me feel and all the fun things we did. And he listened. He told me he understood and told me stories about his ex-girlfriend. He opened up to me. Told me about his childhood, was vulnerable and I could see myself falling for him. 

But there was always this little voice in the back of my mind, that I tried my damn best to ignore, that screamed ‘it’ll never be as good’.

Six months later, Colin and I are on our fifth date, having been seeing each other for about a month, things could be getting serious tonight. I met him for dinner after work at this little restaurant that served the best Chicken Parm that I had been looking forward to all day, even if there was the smallest part of me that said it was wrong to go on this date when I’d never be as happy as I was with Merriell.

“Hey,” I say breathlessly as I sit down.

Colin smiles at me, big and trusting and his fiery brown eyes sparkle when he looks at me and I push the comparison between the blazing heat of flames and the beauty of the ocean during a storm out of my head before it can settle. 

He asks me about my day and holds my hand, thumb brushing against the back of it while I talk. When dinner comes, I ask him about his day and he tells me about work and his new promotion at his fancy law firm and for the briefest moment, I think about how different he is from the hard-working lumber yard worker I had met and nearly loved all those months ago. 

After dinner we decide to walk around the city, he swings our interlocks hands back and forth, he laughs at my jokes and teases me when I trip over my own feet in the park and bring him tumbling with me. He kissed me as we watched the sunset, offered me his jacket when I was cold and did everything the boys from all those movies I watched growing up did. So why did I feel so incomplete?

I’m happy. I’m so happy with Colin and I think I could live like this with him. Colin was good enough, wasn’t he? He was everything I looked for in a guy and maybe if I hadn’t gone to New Orleans and met Merriell, I would have been all in with him. But something was holding me back.

Little did I know, something was waiting for me at home. 

Colin and I walked back to my apartment in a casual conversation, he had lined up a killer set of jokes for me and more than once we had to stop so I could get my breath back from laughing so hard. His hand was in mine as we turned the corner to my street and I took notice of a figure sitting on the steps to my apartment little ways down the street.

“Oh boy,” Colin said, “which one of your crazy neighbours do we have to deal with this time?” 

I laughed, but unease sat in the pit of my stomach like a rock. This didn’t look like anyone from my building. 

Colin kept talking as we walked but I wasn’t really listening. As we got closer I could distinguish more and more features of the stranger sitting on my steps. A small, yet muscular frame, tanned skin, curly hair and a strong jaw. Realization hit me like a truck and I had to stop cold in my tracks, breath caught in my throat. 

Merriell. 

Colin called my name and Merriell’s head snapped in our direction, meeting my eyes before getting up and starting to pace in circles.

I stutter for a second, feeling cold sweats break out across my body, “I, uh,” I start, “Colin, I’ll text you tomorrow okay?” I say, finally breaking my gaze and forcing myself to give Colin a smile, “There’s something I..” I trail off as he nods, looking towards what is to him a strange man.

“Are you sure?” He asks, clearly concerned as to who this stranger is.

I nod and usher him along. I watch him walk away, if only to give myself a little more time. I can feel my heart hammering in my chest, anxiety and confusion set in my stomach and I feel a little sick. Why is he here? How did he get here? How long has he been waiting? All these questions circle in my head as I start to walk towards him. 

I feel like I’m gliding on air, barely aware of anything except him. Before I know it we’re standing five feet apart, staring at each other. 

Neither of us says a word. I tug my sweater closer around me, trying to shield myself from the breeze that’s picked up as the day comes to an end. My eyes keep flicking from him to the ground, unsure of what to say. The last time I had seen him everything had been so different. 

Finally, he clears his throat and speaks.

“Hi.” 

For a moment, I’m angry. Six months after everything and all he has to say is ‘hi’? The anger quickly turns to nostalgia, hearing his voice again only makes me realize how much I missed him. But I refuse to be swept up in his charm again.

“What are you doing here, Merriell?” I keep my tone neutral, my arms crossed in front of my chest.

He shrugs and looks away, eyes squinting against the setting sun, “Can we talk?” he says as he looks back at me. His voice is soft, softer than I’ve ever heard it. He sounds rough and as I take him in I realize he looks rough too. 

His once tanned olive skin looks pale and sickly, dark circles under his eyes and they don’t sparkle with mischief the way they used too. He looks drained of all energy. He was always a skinny guy but his sweater looks like it’s wearing him rather than him wearing the sweater. He’s beat and worn down. And maybe that’s why I agree to lead him up to my apartment. Because even after all this time I still care.

We end up standing in the kitchen, I offer a drink but he declines and so we stand and we stare and it’s silent and it’s eating me alive. 

“So you wanna tell me what this is all about?” I finally ask, if only to break the silence and keep myself from going crazy.

He looks at me, and there’s so much self-deprecation in his eyes that I can actually feel his pain, “Honestly, I didn’t think I’d get this far.” He confesses, “I thought there’d be a lot more yelling.” 

“Why would I yell at you?” I ask, genuinely confused. I’d never yell at him. Even considering how angry I was, and still am, at him, I don’t think I could ever yell at him after he came all the way down here. 

He looks surprised, he looks away after a moment and speaks so quietly I really have to strain to hear him, “Ya should yell at me.” it’s nearly a whisper, barely louder when he continues, “I jus’ left you like that. Ran like a dog with ma tail between my legs.” He squeezed his eyes shut and I know this is hard for me. Even the short amount of time I knew him, it had never been easy for him to be vulnerable in front of anyone. 

It’s quiet again as I gather my thoughts. 

“I was hurt.” I admit, “When you left, I was hurt and confused and angry. With you and with myself.” I pause, trying to keep my shit together, my tears in, “And the next day when you didn’t come to the airport I was,” I take a breathe, “Devastated.”

He looks at me and I rush through my next sentence as my insecurities resurface.

“I know it’s stupid. We only knew each other for two weeks, I had no right to feel so strongly, to think that this could work. I was stupid and naive and caught up in the fairytale of what could’ve been.”

It’s my turn to be self-deprecating. I turn in on myself, trying to hide in plain sight. It hurts to be so open with him again, knowing it could easily backfire on me again. I hate how vulnerable I have to be, but this conversation is long overdue. It’s now or never. 

“Maybe it wasn’t so stupid.” He says after a beat of silence. 

When I look at him again he looks, almost guilty. He can’t meet my eyes, staring instead at my sock covered feet and the hardwood floors beneath them. I feel my face twist in confusion. What is he talking about? Of course, it was stupid. It’s why he ran. 

He doesn’t continue. Even though I so desperately want to hear why it’s not stupid. I had spent months, beating myself up about every little thing I said or did that may have turned him away, that may have turned him off. If those things I did weren’t stupid then why did he leave? 

“Who was he?” 

I’m dumbfounded. I feel annoyance swirl up from the pit of my stomach, feel it spread all over my body, tensing my muscles and tingling in my fingers.

“What does that have to do with anything?” I ask, my tone clipped and clearly aggravated. 

He shrugs, arms crossed as he leans back against the countertop, “He sure was makin’ ya laugh real hard.”

I scoff a laugh, looking away, I can feel my mouth turn up in a bitter smile, every muscle in my body tense when I look back at him to answer.

“That was Colin.” I say shortly, does he deserve more of an answer?

“An’ Colin is?”

Apparently, he does.

“Why does it matter, Merriell?” I ask, my voice rising slightly before I can control it and push it down.

“Well if he’s ya boyfriend or whatever, I don’t wanna step on any toes.”

I shake my head. I truthfully don’t know the answer to his question. Colin is... special to me, sure, but to label him, to label our relationship? That conversation hadn’t been had yet. 

“It’s complicated.” 

Merriell nods, and hums, and a bitter smile of his own crosses his face.

“Jus’ fuck buddies then?” 

I glare at him and sigh. Why is he acting like this? He comes all the way down here and then acts like an asshole for what reason? 

“Why are you really here, Merriell?” I ask, exasperated, “I know you’re not here to ask me who I’m dating, or fucking, how my life is, or to just catch up so why don’t you just cut to the chase.”  

He sighs, a hand coming up to run through his hair anxiously.

“Look,” he starts, “I fucked up. I think that much is clear. I jus’” A sigh, “I wanted to explain myself an’-” He looks up, head still titled down, looking more vulnerable than I’ve ever seen him, “An’ maybe get a second chance.” 

My heart sinks. Where was this when I needed it months ago? Why now?

“Merriell-” I sigh, only to be interrupted.

“No, I know, jus’- hear me out.” he pleads, hand raised in the space between us. He stands up straighter, looks around one more time and fixes me with a determined look.

“I told you before, that I wasn’t good at relationships.” He starts, voice wavering in the slightest, “I run away when things get in any way real, or serious or when anythin’ seems like it could actually make me happy.”

He takes a breath, and starts again.

“The things I felt for you. The things I still feel for you.” He swallows nervously, “They scare the absolute shit out of me. I have neva’ felt so strongly about someone, in such a short amount of time. Six months ago, I thought runnin’ was the best option. Because you were leavin’ an’ I didn’t think I deserved to keep someone like you all to myself.” He scoffs, “Hell, I still don’t think I deserve you.” His eyes are soft, something glimmers in them and in the light of the kitchen it looks like tears, “I realize now that runnin’ was stupid. I should’a jus’ talked to ya. You’re such a good person, Y/n, I know that had I talked to you honestly about my fears and doubts you would’a been so understanding about everythin’.”

He looks away, unable to keep such strong eye contact while pouring his heart open. 

“That last night together, you were sayin’ everythin’ I wanted.” His eyes close, his head shakes and he continues, “I wanted to keep you in my life, I did. But it scared me so fucking much, that for once, I could have everythin’ I was afraid to let myself want.” 

He takes one last shaky breath and looks at me with wet eyes, clearly trying to blink back tears, “It’s not that I didn’t feel the same way, it’s just that you deserve so much better than me.”

The kitchen is filled with silence again, nothing to be heard by our own breathing and the faint noises of cars driving past on the streets below. I’m faintly aware of the thick lump that sits in my throat and the tears that sit just behind my own eyes. 

I’m at a war with myself. Here he was, the guy of my dreams, telling me he fucked up and that he wants to fix that, he wants to fight for me. This is everything I had hoped would happen. But at the same time, I know Colin is on a bus somewhere, waiting for me to text him, explain and tell him I’ll talk to him tomorrow. I know Colin is crazy about me and would never run away from something he wants. He’s the safer option. But safer, doesn’t always mean right.

“And who are you to decide what I deserve?” I manage to choke out, his words have taken hold of my heart, squeezing it tighter and tighter, hurting to know he thinks so little of himself. 

He laughs, it’s wet and bitter, “Ya think you could be happy with a mess like this?” He asks, bringing a hand up to wipe at his eyes. 

I smile sadly at him, taking a step forward. And then another, and another, until we’re finally face to face, no more than a foot apart. 

“I think,” I start softly, looking into the stormy colour of his eyes, “that I haven’t stopped thinking about you since I got home. And I think that if we were able to be open and honest with each other about everything; About our feelings, our past, and all the good things and all the bad things, I think we could have something,” I pause, searching for the right word, “Breathtaking.” 

Merriell’s eyes slip shut and his head tips forward to rest his forehead against mine. I breathe him in, having missed everything about him that my mind failed to replicate in my dreams. His smell, earthy yet somehow still sweet, reminding me of tall cedar trees. The warmth that radiates off of him, chasing away any lingering coldness from the street below. 

His hands begin to touch me, starting softly at the tips of my fingers, slow and hesitant as if he wasn’t sure if he was allowed. They move slowly, up the back of my hand, across my wrist, forearm and finally resting on my upper arms. His fingers squeeze gently, grasping onto my skin to remind himself that I am here in front of him. This is real. He can have this.

“I really gotta know if that Colin guy is actually your boyfriend or not ‘cause, fuck, I wanna kiss you so bad right now.” He breaks the silence with a soft voice, it’s filled with longing as he rubs the tip of his nose against mine. 

“We never labelled it. Never discussed what we were.” I confess, “Kiss me.” I say softly. 

I want it. I need it. Need to feel his lips against mine after so long. After so many months of longing and the loneliness that comes with wanting someone who, at the time, feels so out of reach. Colin is the last thing on my mind when I can feel Merriell’s breath on my lips. 

A hand moves up to cup my jaw, tilting my face upward ever so slightly before he closes the short distance between us. I revel in the feeling of his lips against mine after so long of missing them,  They’re soft and warm, and they feel like home. I’m focused on every sensation he gives me;

The slide of our lips against each other.

His breathing out as I breathe in.

The feeling of his hands cupping my jaw.

The texture of his curls around my fingers as I run them through his hair.

God, I missed him. 

When we break away, our foreheads lean against each other, keeping our eyes closed for another moment before the flutter open and finding each other.

“I missed you,” He says, voice barely above a whisper, “So damn much.” 

I rub my nose against his softly, “You have no idea.”

Time passes as we just hold each other in the harsh light of my kitchen. I know I should feel guilty about Colin but I can’t find it in myself to really be concerned about him. For the first time in months, I feel complete again. 

“Hey, Mer?” I ask softly, when he hums I continue, “How did you get here anyway?” 

“I drove”

I pull away to look up at him incredulously, “All the way from Louisiana? Merriell that must’ve taken you all night.”

He just shrugs and shoots me his signature grin, “you were worth it.”

The sound that escapes from the back of my throat in response to him could only be described as a whine and I place another kiss on his lips. 

“No fucking around this time, okay?” I say softly, bringing my hand up to his face so I can run my thumb across his cheekbone, “If we’re going to be together, we can’t-”

He interrupts me with a nod and another soft kiss, “I know.” He says softly, “I’m not runnin’ anymore.”

Another kiss to my lips.

“I promise.” 

~

(A/N) HAPPY ENDING TO THIS CHAPTER YAY! I’ve got one more chapter lined up and than probably an epilogue so stay tuned for those! 

(Chapter Eight)

[stranger-who-writes-fiction]

Wasn’t gonna do a 5x11 post, but ya know what? It was a good one, and it’s fun to talk about stuff ya like.

SPOILERS.

Folks this one is LONG:

Admittedly, I don’t really understand what Brainy did with the rock and the stick, but it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter, because we get Motorcycle Brainy.

I appreciate that nearly every character on this show has the impulse to go out and get a black Stealth Outfit and procure a motorcycle whenever they gotta do clandestine, under-cover stuff. (See also: Lucy, Kara, Alex, J’onn.)

ALSO appreciate the ongoing commitment to characters showing they care via food, as seen in the Breakup Feast scene. 

I’ve seen this episode four times and it’s only JUST occurring to me that Lex is grabbing some of Evil!Winn’s hair and not just creepily picking lint off his shirt, after their little chat.

Lena Laments to Lex! Lost Lots of Lobe Legwork.

And then NAT CITY TOY CON! 

Lex’s action figure is safe for children ages 5 and up, AND the articulation allows for lots of action and superhero poses!

(That thing has NO visible leg or arm joints, Lex will not be doing ANY action posing, whatsoever. XD)

But, for real: It’s a pretty great prop. The packaging is spot on. 

Love all the Supergirl action figures in the background too. (AND WITH THE NEW SUIT I am envious of Earth Prime.)

Get ‘im William, GET ‘IM.

The Lex and Kara scene was GREAT, loved the recorder smash.

Then dramatic slow walk with wiiiiiind, very nice.

CAPE SAVE

WINN

Absolutely love the moment between him, Alex, and Kara when he reveals he has a family. 

AND HIS WIFE AND DAUGHTER ARE LOVELY. THAT KIDDO IS SO CUTE.

Group huuuuuuug

‘I might have missed you just a little bit.’ ‘Me too, just a little.’ ‘Yeah, well, I missed you, like, A LOT.’

Side note: Really dig Winn’s superhero outfit. 

“I wanted to apologize to you, for how I treated you after you took my mother’s medallion.”

*Skeptical Thor face* Is it really hers though?

(Answer: No.)

Okay OKAY now we get to the REALLY GOOD PART but first, a bit of appreciation for Winn referencing Sam Spade.

Alright, are we ready? ARE WE READY????

J’onn’s office (which is ALREADY a cool set) gets a SECRET ELEVATOR that leads tooooo...

THE TOWwait, whoops, almost forgot:

Kara’s total nerd reaction to the secret elevator and Alex’s elder sibling-ly ‘don’t push’ while actually pushing Winn are just. *chef’s kiss*

Okay, we’re back: THE TOWER!!!!!

Complete with PAPA BEAR HUG for Best Son Winn!

I like J’onn’s Martian vest, though I do feel like he should get some finger-less gloves, or something, to complete the look.

“In the future they call it the Hall of Justice.” “I like that.”

“So like STAR Labs.” “Or the Arrow Bunker.” “A place where my Superfriends can work, whenever they should need it.” 

1.) I don’t know why the casual references to the other shows are throwing me, it’s not like they haven’t done it before...maybe it’s the fact that characters besides Kara have this kind of...lived-in familiarity with this stuff that’s otherwise been reserved for her, due to the nature of JUST the lead visiting the other shows. 2.) It occurs to me that Supergirl, the show, never had a central hub like the Arrow Bunker or Star Labs that’s just for the main characters. (Well, I guess the Office of Solitude counts? Kind of?) All of the sets (aside from Kara’s Loft and J’onn’s office which are like...living spaces) require at least a handful of extras milling around in the background. I don’t know where I was going with this....*Marge Simpson voice* I just think it’s neat. 3.) J’onn calling them his Superfriends!!!! :D

“What are you gonna call it?” “I was thinking...The Tower.” “COOL.”

Kara you lovable nerd, you.

The cut from the Martian Memory Meld to Winn’s puking is comedic gold.

“And James runs a small town newspaper and mentors children? That’s adorable!”

You can tell who’s only watching the show via gifs, because this line threw them.

Alex being like, ‘BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE.’ XD

Evil!Winn’s message has Jim Carrey Riddler energy. I think it’s that ‘Let’s play to win!’ bit that does it.

Aaaand some other stuff occurs. Lex and Brainy talk, The Kara and William stuff at CatCo, Evil!Winn’s warehouse lair.

But then BACK TO THE TOWER for more nerding out and some lovely heart-to-hearts!

Winn telling Nia about Nura: :D :D :D

And then OOOOOH BOY, my favorite scene: Kara and Winn.

It starts off great, with Kara being like, ‘I bet you’re a great dad.’ And then Winn gets to talk about being a dad! And naming his little girl after his mom! ‘It was either that or Winifred.’ Heart AND humor??? AND THEN: “KARA WAS AN OPTION.” AAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWW

BUT THEN WINN’S LIKE, ‘EVERYONE IN THE FUTURE NAMES THEIR KID KARA’ HECK YEAH THEY DO

 And then the scene continued to be great but I will admit that I was gripped with a sudden, terrible fear that when Kara mentioned not being too thrilled with her ‘legend’ she was gonna talk about how she betrayed Lena yet again but THANK GOODNESS IT WASN’T THAT.

Instead what we got was this nice little exchange about Kara feeling like she’s endangering William, and Winn being like: ‘you put ME in danger but I always trusted you to protect me’ which is a LOVELY bit of trust and reassurance and a nice deconstruction of the idea that heroes have to distance themselves from others in order to best protect them. Supergirl the TV show has always said and will always say NOPE.

STRONGER TOGETHER.

“Being in your orbit...it’s inspiring.” “You.”

I JUST LOVE KARA HAVING THEM THERE GOOD FRIENDSHIPS.

Then Wicked Winn’s Warehouse! Followed By Lex on a Legion Ship! Learning of Leviathan!

The Obsidian pitch sounds TOTALLY legit, can’t IMAGINE how that could be exploited for evil.

Then Toyman’s Terrible Tigers! Which Brainy Tries to Tame! 

And, look. You’re either the kind of person that watches these DCTV shows and rolls your eyes at on-the-nose music cues, ooooor you’re the kind of person that applauds that kind of go-for-broke attitude.

I am one of the latter.

(BUT it’s always just gonna be...really hard to top The Flash using “Flash Gordon” as Barry jumps into a black hole.)

ANYWAYS.

Always cool to see Kara speed folks away from danger. Very nice!

Whoops, little out of order here, I got excited: prior to the super speed, we have a Winn Stand-off.

(NGL the mental image of Winn singing “Nothing Left to Lose” with his evil counterpart has been amusing me all week long.)

But I digress! Toyman seems to perish in the explosion, but given that this is a two part episode...HMMMM. I think NOT.

(I mean, there’s also the end of episode cliffhanger, so. Yeah, obvious guess is obvious.)

But for the moment, Winn’s future is safe! Yaaaaay!

Then we get the cute moment between Kara and William and YEAH, THAT’S RIGHT, I SAID CUTE. BECAUSE IT WAS CUTE.

So please put me firmly in camp: Generally indifferent to ships but certainly not opposed to more cute reporter shenanigans.

(Also she wouldn’t let him have dinner alone with the world’s saddest sandwich.) 

Instead William gets to come to GAME NIGHT!

Everything about that scene is. So good.

The friendly trash-talking! The glasses bit! ‘Marty’! William saving the Jenga tower for Kara! Space Dad being there! 

(Oh, forgot another scene in my haste to rejoice over game night. Winn and Brainy. T’was good.)

(Oh, no, forgot another one: LENA HAS Q-WAVES. THE GOL-DANG MIND CONTROL PLOT CONTINUES.)

And then there’s the cliffhanger and the next episode preview WHICH I’m absolutely looking forward to because MORE WINN and also KARA AND WILLIAM GET TO SING “AFRICA”.

WHICH...thank you, show, for giving us “Africa” after revealing that was Kara’s other choice, but she went with “Intergalactic” back innnnn...season...three? Well the reveal was in season four. But karaoke night proper was in season three. And “Intergalactic” was great! But. 

COME ON.

IT’S GONNA TAKE A LOT TO DRAG ME AWAAAAAAY FROM YOOOOOOOOOU

Anyways. Wonderful episode! A true season highlight! David did such a good job! EVERYONE did such a good job! This fandom is the worst! And I hope that they actually DO stop watching the show, because it will be better for their emotional well-being and mental health, as well as our own!

[buddha-in-disguise]

100 episodes of Supergirl. And let me tell you it was a doozy.

Well that was an episode and then some. I haven't had a rewatch yet, so no doubt will pick up on some things once I do, but for now here are more immediate thoughts.

The first thing that struck me - it's now canon that Kara and Lena's destinies are intertwined. Who they become, who they were to who they are, whether or not they survive, hell, even whether or not those around them survive, depends on the other person. No-one else has the same impact in their life. Argue all you want, but that sure as hell is a definition of soulmates to me, platonic or otherwise.

If anyone of you are like me, and old enough to have been Xena fans, let me tell you this is so reminiscent of the “When Fates Collide” episode from season 6, which showed that in any alternate universe, Xena and Gabrielle still find each other. That it always comes back to the two of them. Fast forward some 18 years, and this parallels that message. Fate or destiny, call it what you will, but Lena and Kara's lives are intricately linked. I know a few other SG fans are Xena fans, and we've discussed the similarities between Kara/Lena v Xena/Gabrielle numerous times. This is another for that growing list.

So other than that, here are my immediate takeaways from it all.

Mon-El. Now he is a divisive character, and one I honestly have had a lot of issues with. However, this episode I felt showed the better side of him.

I also watched with widening eyes as Kara went to her ex-boyfriend for no reason other than to ask him about Lena! Seriously telling moment for me. I was also pleased Mon-El made the point that he and Lena both came from abusive childhoods and families. At last, the point of Lena having reacted in part like she has is because of abuse, as mentioned. Only the other day I said I was frustrated how Mon-El was forgiven for his actions because of his upbringing, but Lena wasn't afforded the same. It wasn't much, but it was a start. I will add, abuse or not - Lena still is accountable for her own actions (more on that later), just as Mon-El was.

The other thing. Winn has already said to "Give Lena time." Mon-El mirrored that line. Brainy believes in Lena. All three are from the future. Plus, the whole reason Mon-El can even be there? Because L-Corp develops a cure for the Daxamite lead allergy. Not LexCorp. Not Luthor Corp. L-Corp. Now I know that Supergirl and continuity are really poor at times, but I truly hope this is another nod that LexCorp is defeated, and Lena takes control of L-Corp once again, and she does good things, that lead L-Corp into being the cause for good she has always wanted it to be.

Onto Dark Lena. I'd already said to hubby that I wouldn't be surprised if in one of those timelines they didn't show an evil Lena. After all, we've had Kara gone bad now a few times in various scenarios. We even have had a bad Alex (S1, mind controlled anyone? Hmm. Mind controlled Alex. Oh wonder where we've heard that before? Yep, Alex this season. No idea if that is relevant in future episodes if Alex and Lena actually ever have a damn conversation, but it should be, whereby Alex can tell Lena just how mind controlling anyone, regardless of intent is a huge, bad thing, because of her own experiences with it).

So evil Lena was so good. It was pretty obvious to me, once they said that Lena had been injured, then disappeared and came back 2 years later changed, that Lillian/Cadmus had her. Lo and behold, Lillian had kidnapped her, and Lena version of Metallo was born. Even faced with that, when Kara refused to fight Lena, for that split second you could see the flicker in Lena's facial reaction. That split second moment of doubt. Honestly one of the things that I love so much with Supergirl is that they often have these nuanced moments throughout the seasons. Put those moments in the hands of Melissa and/or Katie and they're elevated to another level.

So only the other day on a different post I wrote this: 'Also, in reference to that S2 episode, (note - also ep 13), as Mxy disappears, he says that all he ever wanted was to have someone to love him, but Kara says that "love can't be forced on anybody; it needs to come on its own."'

Then we get the line in this episode of: “You were right what you said. You can’t force magic. It must be found.” Okayyyy then. Wow. Parallels again.

So talking of nuanced moments, let's talk about that ending. Although, before we delve into that I just want to talk about it a moment before Kara lands on Lena's balcony.

Did Kara actually watch that tape?

I find it strange it was left and I believe it wasn’t left by accident. Why else pick it up, and show that title so clearly? Why have that scene in at all unless it has relevance?

Is that why she decided she needed to take the stance she did?

I personally believe this was why it played out like it has. Kara saw something in that tape to take this route.

So the last scene. Again, watch the nuances of expression on Lena’s face as Kara speaks.

From the shock when Kara says “not this time.” to the way she frowned at the last line. Which isn’t calling Lena a villain by the way. For goodness sake please don't misrepresent exactly what was said. Kara is saying *if* Lena becomes a villain.

But there is far more here for me.

Lena knows Kara's true identity. Kara is trusting her with that knowledge even now, and especially with Lex in the picture. We know from the earlier timelines explored that by Kara openly showing who she is to the World, it causes all those around her to be targeted and killed. That is the trust Kara is showing and Lena almost certainly knows it, even without knowing that timeline alternative, and even if she doesn’t want to admit it yet.

A best friend isn't someone who always agrees with you and tells you that you're right.

A best friend is someone that helps you be the best version you can be, reminding you what your values are and what is important. They hold you accountable when you mess up, and support you when you need help. That is exactly what Kara did. She was telling Lena she would be the for her, but she would also hunt her down if she became a Villain.

We also have to remember numerous times, Lena has stated she is not a Villain. And she isn't. Not yet. She is misguided, making some terrible decisions, but ultimately Lena also stated just ahead of when she jumped off the cliff that 'Supergirl will save me.'

Now Lena knows, Kara will save her. But the boundary lines have been set by Kara (who by the way, I still think could never fight back against Lena. Not fully, because she wouldn't even when Evil Lena was killing her. She saw that flicker in the eyes just as I did).

Kara has firmly placed it all into Lena's court. Lena has to make the decision, to meet Kara half way and that Kara shouldn't have the burden placed entirely on her, and they shoulder it together. To realise her mistakes. We know Lena is craving friendship as much as she denies it. Remember this with Hope in 5.08, The Wrath of Rama Khan, and the nuanced reaction Lena gave there as the reality set in?

L: "You're the only friend I can count on."

H: "But, Ms. Luthor, I'm not your friend. I'm something you created to serve a purpose."

Ouch. That one hurt.

This whole end scene is more powerful and pivotal than perhaps realised.

Overall, I loved the episode. I truly did.

I just wish there wasn't another small break between this and episode 14, which isn't until March 8th. Damn all these breaks so close together! It would be so much nicer to be able to watch them without all these interruptions.