#and I think because that's the best Dracula can manage it's the only thing he can call love

[see-arcane]

Why did Dracula "save" Jonathan for the very last night until his journey? We know from how he fed on Mina for three days she was pale and weak, but not dead, so he could have been feeding on him for a few days/week until he succumbed.

But he kept him unbitten until Jonathan's final letter was written and only then Dracula declared that "he is mine tonight", and the rest is history.

Dracula prefers foreplay over the climactic act when he's enjoying himself rather than pressed for time. He likes playing with his food and/or future conscripted vampires. With Jonathan, he gives the superficial reason of wanting the Englishman around to learn how to speak in the same way. Which might be part of it! But to have him prisoner and literal captive audience for two months implies the more likely desire of just enjoying the cat-and-mouse of it all. Teasing things out until the last possible night and what Dracula assumes will be Jonathan's last night as a human being full of terror before the Brides have their turn with him, forcing him into inevitable vampirism.

Even with the Demeter crew, we see him playing. None of the men aboard strike him as anything other than another revitalizing meal in potentia, so the only fun he has is playing the torturous game of picking them off one by one in the dark, but the play is there.

You mentioned how different his MO with Mina was--how brisk. I'd say it's because it was all business. And petty vengeance. Not only was he striking at an enemy by trying to conscript her, not only was he violating her and her husband in what played out very much like a rape and a hovering promise that in time she will very literally be another of his pretty undead pets like the Brides. It was also to (unsuccessfully) give him eyes and ears on the group using her borrowed senses. He was on the clock with Mina, which is why she gets the quickest treatment.

Though I think there is something else worth mentioning in how he preys on Lucy; the character we're meant to assume is the template for how he hunts out new undead members to the Dracula club. And what do we learn from her case?

We see that if it weren't for Mina, Van Helsing and the suitors' intervention, his playtime with Lucy would have been far, far shorter and had even less impression on him than the book already showed. Lucy has friends. Lucy has people giving her new blood to stall her undeath. Lucy's conscription keeps getting stalled--and that is what keeps Dracula interested. It's a matter of engagement, pride, and, most likely, the only reason he really bothers to play more extravagantly with her. Hence the theatrics of getting poor Berserker in on it.

And after all that back and forth and bleeding and biting and Bloofer Ladying? He immediately loses interest and starts sniffing after the Pretty Girl in Piccadilly. Which, while indicative of him being a glutton for beauties, shows another very lopsided treatment compared to how he toyed with Jonathan.

I've pointed out before how Jonathan is the only character in the book Dracula goes out of his way to have whole conversations with. Mina gets one villain monologue, the group gets some fist-shaking and moustache-twirling at the Piccadilly house, but even when he has no reason to, Dracula really does go full gothic horror 'courtship' mode with Jonathan. Chatting, cooking for him, maintaining the whole castle charade; true, with increasing acts of abuse and psychological torment, but he actually engages with Jonathan.

This, when Lucy doesn't get so much as a 'Hey xoxo ;)' and Mina is given a traumatic speedrun to get her into vampire mode ASAP.

Dracula shows minimal finesse with Lucy, none with Mina, and devotes two months to Being Very Intimately Weird with Jonathan. Which means the question is less 'Why did Dracula wait so long to bite Jonathan?' and more 'Why is Jonathan's treatment so different from every other victim of Dracula's period?'

[spaceagebachelormann]

Hello! If you’re taking headcanon requests, may I please request headcanons for what Count Dracula & Erik the Phantom would be like as husbands?

dracula and erik as husbands !

✧ warnings — some mentions of death and possible spoilers for dracula and phantom of the opera. also like 2 sexual jokes i think

✧ additional info — i got so so excited by this request omg <3 if u wanna id rlly appreciate it if u sent me more requests for phantom of the opera and classic monsters!! also not really specific versions of them but i mainly had the book versions in mind

✧ m.list — nav.

ೃ༄ erik destler

he wouldn’t wait to marry you

like at all

the second you show him you’re willing to be in a relationship with him and he’s sure you won’t leave him he’s already planning your wedding

of course if you wanted to take it more slowly he might be a little impatient but he’d try his best for you :)

but he’d be so happy if u were ready to get married as soon as possible

the sad thing is he’d get so stressed while trying to plan it because he’d want it to be absolutely perfect because that’s what he didn’t get with christine

and he’d try to convince you not to worry about it or help plan the wedding becaus he wants it to be a surprise for you

however he’d talk to you about what you want <3

so unfortunately he doesn’t know a lot of people 😭 so your wedding audience consists of daroga, mme giry, and maybe christine and raoul if ur lucky and manage to convince them (but they’ll be a little on edge)

and u can invite ur family if they’d be accepting of erik!

once y’all are married it’s so sweet and romantic ohmygod

he’d make u breakfast and dinner every single day, even if he’s had a particularly bad day

he just loves doing things for you

he’d also love writing even more songs and sometimes even entire operas for you or about you, you’re his muse

before he was able to take breaks from bis work to focus on you for awhile

but now you’re married he just can’t be away from you for two minutes

will sit on the floor and talk to u while u shower

or he showers with u

his love language is spontaneously twirling u around and redoing ur wedding dance in the most random places

also carrying u to ur bed if u fall asleep on him or somewhere else, before marriage he’d just let u sleep there and make sure he doesn’t wake u up

such a sweetheart <3

ೃ༄ count dracula

takes his time to marry you

but that’s only because he takes a lot of time working out when and where to propose and shit

and then probably has the wedding planned before you even say yes

which obviously you do

he’d be a little cocky abt u saying yes ngl cause he already knew u would

but the wedding itself obviously takes place at night and mainly other vampires will show up, but he won’t let them remotely near you assuming he hasn’t turned you yet

if he has then go talk to them!! there’s no risk of u dying or getting turned by someone else!!

he’d also rlly like cooking for u and shit since he canonically had to sprint around his castle to make it seem like he had butlers or whatever 😭😭

how good is fucking amazing btw

like god damn

and obviously he has a comfortable ass vampire bed that he’d let u put 60 pillows on if u want

he’d also like have a thing for ur hair no matter how short or long it is

he likes standing behind u and running his hands through it when u do literally anything for funsies

and his fingers are really pretty and long and cold so they feel nice

he also brushes it a lot esp in the mornings

he also doesn’t even look another persons way when he’s with u

ever.

and his brides are now just. draculas sisters or wtv 😭

unless u want them to be ur wives too he won’t complain

as much as he loves you there’s time where he js like. wants personal time to go kill people think

id also imagine ur very close with renfield

like draculas kinda mean to him but ur rlly nice to him <3

like for example waving at him when u see him or just going “hi renfield!!”

renfields probably the one who found u ngl

i can’t think of anything else for him mb pookie 😔 i’ll add to this later

[vickyvicarious]

"For your mother's sake."

It hits so hard, on multiple levels. First, what this might mean for her. It's her final effort, the most impactful thing she says after religion, superstition, outright pleading on her knees and crying all fail. She knows that she can't stop him from going, but at the very least she will try her best to protect him as much as she can. She places the crucifix around his neck herself, doesn't just hand it to him.

Did she lose a child to Dracula in the past? Is she seeing echoes of her own son in Jonathan's face? Or perhaps there have been brave young men who tried to fight back against him, who deliberately went to the castle and never returned. Maybe Jonathan is the first person she's met who is actually trying to go there, and while she knows it can only end in his death, the idea of letting anyone go willingly to that evil place is more than she can bear. She's giving up a piece of her own protection. The Count has been sending letters to her husband; he was the one who suggested Jonathan stay here. He knows of her. If she shows any resistance it could mean greater danger for herself, and giving Jonathan her crucifix means losing a powerful totem of self-protection. If he actually listened to her warning, she can probably expect a terrible fate of her own; maybe even just giving him the crucifix alone would be enough to ensure that. But again, whether he reminds her of her own lost son or just because he doesn't know what he's getting himself into, she can't bear to do nothing. She places herself in the role of his mother here. "For my sake," she's saying, "let me do what little I can to save you. Please."

Jonathan is an orphan. We don't know the circumstances of his childhood, but it's possible that he never even knew his mother. (It's my headcanon.) Even if he did, she has been gone for a long time now. And yet these are the words he can't argue with in the end. He was already taking her seriously, and trying to treat her with respect. Her warnings were obviously distressing to him, but there's no way he can actually turn back now. His livelihood depends on this trip, he has no actual evidence to justify leaving, and he also wants so badly to live up to Mr. Hawkins' trust in him. He is already "thinking of his father" (or the closest he has) when he says he has to go to the castle. And yet, the care and fear and love this woman is showing for him hits so hard. I wonder if he is thinking of his actual mother when he accepts the crucifix. Whether the concept of her or an actual memory... Or maybe he too is placing her in the role of his mother here. Maybe, in keeping the crucifix (and not just with him, but around his neck where she placed it, even as he rides away) he is saying yes to that implicit request as well. "I'll let you care for me. I'll accept it gratefully." It's the first motherly care he has probably felt in many long years.

In this book, children are placed in terrible danger again and again, and most of the time they can't be saved. Parents and parental figures are equally doomed, leaving our heroes all orphaned in a sense, unable to rely on any greater source of wisdom or comfort. They have to take things into their own hands and deal with the problem alone, despite still being caught up in grief for what they've lost - a kind of coming of age in that sense. There's even a literal version of this happening with both Arthur and Jonathan (and Mina) specifically, when their father figures die and leave them with sudden new responsibilities. And of course, the inheritances from these father figures help in distinct and immensely useful ways, even as they remain absent from the story throughout. They haunt the margins at best until death steals them away completely, and their illnesses tend to serve to divide our heroes from one another when they needed to be united sooner. I personally don't count van Helsing as a father figure really, but if you do then he is the only one who manages to be around and be directly helpful (and even then, he's unable to save Lucy), even though all the fathers we hear from are loved and loving. But we do actually meet a few mothers, and they are usually unable to alter the story despite being more present. Their efforts to save their children are misdirected and only bring about their own death as well, in the end. Lucy's mother seems to mean well but everything she does directly makes everything harder; the mother at the castle later tries to avenge her child possibly against the wrong person, and in any case is unable to succeed. But here, the innkeeper's wife with her crucifix manages what no other mother does. Even though she assumes this to be another wasted effort (in fact, she can't bear to remain in the room with him afterwards; re: Dracula did such a good job with the hopelessness in her voice when she says the 'mother's sake' line), her assistance helps Jonathan to survive. His 'inheritance' from this momentary mother-figure isn't just the physical crucifix, though that is useful (and also the only inheritance a mother leaves for a child throughout the book, even when it would be expected and easy and make complete sense to do so, ahem). It's also the first and the most knowledgeable and the most effective aid given to a 'child' throughout the entire book.

[autumnsartblog]

I find it interesting- Dracula and Jonathan’s little “game”, and the twisted care in it.

NOTE: I may have been fed misinformation on that drafted scene that was cut from the story, but I still believe that Dracula wouldn’t have killed him that night as he had plans anyways

————

Dracula is the one to start it, but Jonathan is the one to end it. Dracula slowly starts pushing Jonathan’s buttons and getting more open about his possession over him and how Jonathan is at his mercy, especially after that scene where Jonathan is saved by Dracula from the ladies, or as safe as he could ever be.

When Jonathan starts thinking more about what he should say before saying anything in reply to Dracula’s actions to him like when he burned his letters, Dracula is getting less entertainment himself, though we all know that Jonathan isn’t just there for entertainment.

Forgive me if I am wrong here, as I haven’t finished the book, but to me it seems like Dracula is more willing to mentally harm Jonathan than physically harm him.

I actually doubt Dracula would have let Jonathan get too hurt by the wolves. It was just a threat. Based on the removed scene I’ve heard of, of when Jonathan escapes the castle but is being hunted down by wolves only to be saved by Dracula again, Dracula would have just brought him back and punished him by like- I dunno, locking him in his room again 😭 (which obviously still isn’t okay to do, it is just me saying that I doubt he would let Jonathan get killed). It was a threat of death that Dracula wasn’t gonna act upon at that time because he cares for Jonathan.

Dracula went through all the trouble of making sure Jonathan isn’t killed in “Dracula’s Guest”, and even with it removed, I consider it to be semi-canon but more based on the actions they WOULD take if the situation were to occur.

Dracula CARES for Jonathan. In a twisted way. He tries to make Jonathan dependant on him by isolating him, and by making himself the only person that Jonathan can turn to, yet at the same time Jonathan knows he cannot. He’s breaking him down to make *sure* he won’t be able to leave. Especially after taking all of the things that would be needed to get out of the country, he’s trying to make Jonathan see that there is no use in resisting him.

But even so, Jonathan resists. It makes Dracula mad. He is losing the own little game he made. Both of them want the upper hand, Dracula for control over Jonathan (and making sure he cannot leave), and Jonathan for finding a way to escape. They’re both trying to do so, and while also trying to seem as unbothered as they can from it.

But while Jonathan is struggling to keep doing it, so is Dracula. His own emotions are getting the best of him. He cracks at some points, he lets his anger and knowledge of his lack of control show. Jonathan cracks at some points, he lets his fear and helplessness show.

By the time they get away from each other, both of them shatter in some way. While Jonathan shatters into a mental breakdown, Dracula is enraged. He’s PISSED as HELL. For not only did he not manage to get Jonathan to break in his castle in front of him fully, he failed to keep him there with him. The man that he’s so possessive over.

And what does Dracula do? He goes to London soon after and begins harassing the ones Jonathan knows and loves. Yet, so far as I’ve read, he doesn’t directly physically harm Jonathan. Only mentally. He focuses on tormenting Jonathan in his head. While he did plan on hurting Jonathan in the castle very soon, it seemed to be more for the reason of making him stay for freaking EVER, rather than for trying to do so/doing so to Mina and Lisa, which was more for teasing and letting everyone know of his power and stuff like that.

His anger there is to show how much Jonathan got to him too. Jonathan managed to get under his skin (as he should ❤️❤️).

I haven’t read the fight-part at the end, but I’ve heard a lot about the team getting injured, some severely, but I haven’t yet hurt of how badly hurt Jonathan is physically in the fight, as Jonathan is the last thing Dracula sees pretty much considering how close he got to him. I’m very excited to get up to that bit once I stop hyper-analysing the first part of the book (I got through like 3/4ths of the book and couldn’t handle NOT analysing the first bit more).

I hope I made sense.

[ninadove]

Nina reads Dracula 🦇

May 24th

And we’re back, thank goodness!!! I’ve been so worried about my good friend Jonathan! I can’t wait to hear how he outsmarted the Count and made it out safely and —

Letter, Lucy Westenra to Mina Murray.

GODDAMMIT

But hey, it’s the girls! I love the girls! Let’s see if they’ve been building any castles in the air recently.

My dear, it never rains but it pours. How true the old proverbs are. Here am I, who shall be twenty in September, and yet I never had a proposal till to-day, not a real proposal, and to-day I have had three. Just fancy! THREE proposals in one day! Isn't it awful!

This is my idea of a nightmare actually. But!!! More points for the poly theory!!!

I feel sorry, really and truly sorry, for two of the poor fellows.

Nevermind, they didn’t pass the vibe check. (Or did they?)

You and I, Mina dear, who are engaged and are going to settle down soon soberly into old married women, can despise vanity.

Cottagecore sapphics anyone? 💖

I told you of him, Dr. John Seward, the lunatic-asylum man, with the strong jaw and the good forehead. He was very cool outwardly, but was nervous all the same. He had evidently been schooling himself as to all sorts of little things, and remembered them; but he almost managed to sit down on his silk hat, which men don't generally do when they are cool, and then when he wanted to appear at ease he kept playing with a lancet in a way that made me nearly scream.

Wasn’t he supposed to be the cool unaffected one? Maybe Lucy just has this effect on people.

He was going to tell me how unhappy he would be if I did not care for him, but when he saw me cry he said that he was a brute and would not add to my present trouble. […] And then, Mina, I felt a sort of duty to tell him that there was some one. I only told him that much, and then he stood up, and he looked very strong and very grave as he took both my hands in his and said he hoped I would be happy, and that if I ever wanted a friend I must count him one of my best.

GOOD!!!!! I LIKE HIM!!!!!

Well, my dear, number Two came after lunch. He is such a nice fellow, an American from Texas —

[Miraculous flashabacks] DON’T —

I know now what I would do if I were a man and wanted to make a girl love me.

Normal Things To Tell Your Bestie, 99th edition

Mr. Quincey P. Morris found me alone. It seems that a man always does find a girl alone. No, he doesn't, for Arthur tried twice to make a chance, and I helping him all I could; I am not ashamed to say it now.

😏

I must tell you beforehand that Mr. Morris doesn't always speak slang—that is to say, he never does so to strangers or before them, for he is really well educated and has exquisite manners—but he found out that it amused me to hear him talk American slang, and whenever I was present, and there was no one to be shocked, he said such funny things. […]

'Miss Lucy, I know I ain't good enough to regulate the fixin's of your little shoes, but I guess if you wait till you find a man that is you will go join them seven young women with the lamps when you quit. Won't you just hitch up alongside of me and let us go down the long road together, driving in double harness?'

OK BUT THIS IS LITERALLY SO SWEET he personalised it and even made fun of himself to diffuse the tension 🥺

And then, my dear, before I could say a word he began pouring out a perfect torrent of love-making, laying his very heart and soul at my feet. He looked so earnest over it that I shall never again think that a man must be playful always, and never earnest, because he is merry at times.

AND THEN MADE HIMSELF VULNERABLE!!!!! What a man!!!

I burst into tears—I am afraid, my dear, you will think this a very sloppy letter in more ways than one—

LUCY

Why can't they let a girl marry three men, or as many as want her, and save all this trouble?

Wait. THE POLYCULE IS CANON??? THE POLYCULE IS CANON?????

'If that other fellow doesn't know his happiness, well, he'd better look for it soon, or he'll have to deal with me. Little girl, your honesty and pluck have made me a friend, and that's rarer than a lover; it's more unselfish anyhow. My dear, I'm going to have a pretty lonely walk between this and Kingdom Come. Won't you give me one kiss? It'll be something to keep off the darkness now and then. You can, you know, if you like, for that other good fellow—he must be a good fellow, my dear, and a fine fellow, or you could not love him—hasn't spoken yet.' That quite won me, Mina, for it was brave and sweet of him, and noble, too, to a rival—wasn't it?—and he so sad; so I leant over and kissed him.

Honestly? Mood. I am utterly charmed by this cowboy.

Now number 3 has to be something.

P.S.—Oh, about number Three—I needn't tell you of number Three, need I? Besides, it was all so confused; it seemed only a moment from his coming into the room till both his arms were round me, and he was kissing me. I am very, very happy, and I don't know what I have done to deserve it. I must only try in the future to show that I am not ungrateful to God for all His goodness to me in sending to me such a lover, such a husband, and such a friend.

THAT’S IT????? A POST-SCRIPTUM????? GIRL THIS IS YOUR FIANCÉ

OK OK I am willing to accept that the strength of your feelings can’t be transcribed into words. But still.

In conclusion: these are Lucy’s three boyfriends, and yes, they eat garlic bread. 🧄🥖

(Also the contrast with Dracula’s roommates did not go unnoticed)

< Prev 🦇 Next >

[imgonzoingrightnow]

BEETLEJUICE GRAVEYARD REVUE AU!!!!! (With art)

Im not very active on here anymore but to those that follow me on Twitter uh you know im #normal about the beetlejuice graveyard revue and I’ve been working on an au for this niche universal show for the past month.

@nothisisntmyname @sadslasher13

Before we start idk if you all know what this show is so in simplest terms the Beetlejuice Graveyard Revue is a theme park show that ran in the Universal parks from 1991-2016 (in the US). In the show, Beetlejuice puts on a rock and roll show featuring the Universal Monsters HOWEVER, given that they are monsters and not hip cool rock and rollers, BJ transfunkafies the monsters into rockstars for the show (with the audiences help)

The monsters included in the show originally are:

• Dracula

• Frankenstein’s monster

• The Bride of Frankenstein

• The Wolfman

• The Phantom of the Opera

Further down the line Erik was removed and replaced with Hip and Hop, and later, Cleopatra and Phantasia. However, in this AU it’s just gonna be this set of monsters (with some appearances by Hip and Hop)

below are some links with videos about it teehee:

ANYWAY. THE AU. what if beetlejuice turns the universal monsters into rockstars, as per usual, but he can’t turn them back to normal afterwards. So BJ being BJ is like KACHING so he becomes their manager/ring leader and they become like an official touring band.

All the monsters retain their memories and characteristics in this change, but they get new skills and slight changes in personality in order to fit this star power vibe. They’re like chemically engineered rockstars.

Drac is like the gay emo cousin and that’s the best way I can describe it he’s always hungry always trying to bite someone you tell him to stop and he’s like “oooHHHH MY gOoOOdAAH”. Hip and Hop are like their groupies!

One time they forgot Dracula at like a pitstop and he did hard drugs, got 7 tattoos he couldn’t pay for, killed 4 people and injured 12, he also fucked some bitches and sucked a ton of blood. they picked him up later that day

Frankie is very nice and not very bright and Drac and BJ especially like messing with him. The bride is the defacto leader if Beetlejuice isn’t there. Bride is the most levelheaded one that’s why she’s the leader and they all listen to her cause a. She’s hot b. Yeah she seems to know what she’s talking about c. Feminism!

Bride and Frank are both not very bright but Bride is really confident and logical so she can figure things out quicker but she and Frankie still do little homeschool lessons sometimes. I think it’d be lessons from BJ but they’re all horribly distorted so Erik has to come and be like no no stop omfg. BEETLEJUICE. YOURE GONNA GIVE THEM STDS… LOWER YOUR HAND FRANKIE. They’re also few and far between cahse BJ doesn’t care and forgets also. If they’re bickering (Phantom and BJ) Bride and Frankie read up on their own (if they care) and help each other.

Wolfie is not allowed alone because if you leave him alone for too long he will destroy the furniture. He’s usually with Beetlejuice, if not he’s with the #gang if not he’s with hip and hop but he’s not allowed alone

Beetlejuice and the phantom are basically the ones in control most of the time (they are married) (they aren’t) (they might as well be) this is where the feminism comes in although phantom would be second in command if beetlejuice wasn’t there. hes a sort of a cryptic fellow (he’s also very dramatic) anyway he’ll just do his own thing UNLESS someone touches him the wrong way then he’s like the dramatic ass we know and love and he’ll be just immature as the rest of them. My boys also been trying to not be as much of a dick to women and he also likes bride cause who doesn’t. so he likes that she’s the one taking the lead if not him.

Also on phantom being the only one with a license it’s really funny cause his song has that car thing going on. frank shouldn’t be anywhere near a wheel, bride does not know or care to drive she’s literally one week old, drac would purposely throw them off a cliff, Wolfie would drive like he’s playing gta and BJ is a lazy fuck. At one point Erik quits and begins working at Kmart and then right after Kmart goes bankrupt.

THAT CONCLUDES THE AU PORTION here are some incorrect quotes for your consideration:

[beevean]

You've probably said it before but who's your favorite Belmont

Daddy Longlegs Trevor <3

Yeah, I know he's probably the second most popular Belmont after Richter, but sometimes I too am basic :P

I call him the Sonic of Castlevania because he's effortlessly cool, has a bit of an attitude but a heart of gold, doesn't hold grudges against the people who shunned him, and is very, very friendly - you can infere this by how easily all sorts of people follow him in CV3, and how he doesn't hold Alucard's heritage against him when the poor guy was angsting about it. Yeah, so maybe you have to read the manual and really look into the events of a NES game to get an idea of his personality, but that doesn't mean he's a cardboard cutout like NFCV some fans think!

And his sassiness in CoD cracks me up lmao, he's so cocky and confident and he pulls a mean eyebrow and

i may be willing to sell both kidneys for a cod remaster, but only as long as they manage to recreate the sheer amount of raw gay energy exuding from all characters

also i'm a whole believer in the theory that he was so difficult to hector at first because he had a crush on him and was being all tsundere about it. because everyone has a crush on hector. also hevor canon

And even then he's humble when questioned about his title as the one who killed Dracula, he immediately gives credit to his friends <3 he cares <3

Also his design is just really good, the scars that mark him as a survivor, the outfit that is both fashionable and protective (kind of like Hector, but not as confusing lol), the longcoat that goes swish <3 he looks like a professional vampire hunter, practical but not without flare!

And of course,

Another thing he has in common with Sonic: his music slaps me into another dimension. (Beginning is also good! But I prefer his "ohshitohshitohshit the belmont wants me dead aaaaaa" theme :P)

anyway. trevor cool. he's shaped like a friend :)

Aside from him, Leon and Juste also have a special place in my heart! Leon is also just a noblehearted dude who threw everything he had away for the chance of saving his beloved, and after losing LITERALLY EVERYTHING HE HELD DEAR IN ONE NIGHT, he still had the strength to live on and not fall into the temptation Mathias had fallen into. Also his theme is literally my favorite CV track of all time, it's just perfect for him and the part in the game it plays in. Juste is just OP as all hell, and he has a funny personality - he's the prettiest Belmont by a long shot but he's also kind of rude and aggressive? lol - and with him you can start to see the Belmont legacy weigh on his shoulders. I also choose to see something in the way he vehemently denies Maxim the chance to explain what happened to Lydie in the best ending, as if he just wanted to forget everything. And the worst ending of HoD kills me :(

[nabanna]

Been thinking about Re:Dracula and how it's really difficult to do a truly accurate adaptation without just reading the book word for word in an audio format, and about how two big things I see in movie and other visually based adaptations are how they cut down the plot and they cut down the cast size.

Thinking about one that does it like: Mina, Johnathan, Lucy, Quincey, Van Helsing

Combine roles between Mina and Seward, and between Quincey and Arthur.

Mina is the medical student who studied under Van Helsing (emphasizes her role as the Smart One, lets Van Helsing see her more as an apprentice rather than a child to patronize, also gets in some Victorian gender role drama as Mina is a (highly qualified but still) woman going into a scientific/medical field dominated by men, she doesn't own an asylum though so alas no Renfield... unless... hmm, anyway one reason Jonathan is so eager to get that promotion is to help Mina finish medical school)

Give Quincey Arthur's most notable traits of being rich and having dogs, but also the most important traits of being an American cowboy from Texas who tells stories and plays up the persona for fun. And has a gun. Give Lucy other less important suitors in a flashback or something but make it clear these two Really Have Something

Mina becomes Lucy's best friend and doctor, maybe with Lucy's mother being dismissive of Mina as a woman trying to go into the medical field but accepting of her as an unpaid nurse for Lucy, Mina receives the news about Johnathan while Lucy seems to have gotten better but she asks Lucy's fiance to keep an eye on her just in case, and to contact her old professor if needed.

Harkers get married on the spot as god intended.

While Mina's gone, Van Helsing is unfortunately still a misogynist and doesn't handle Lucy and her mother as well as he could have, Quincey is just deferring to the apparent expert, Lucy dies and proceeds to Bloof, Van Helsing handles that roughly the same way as before but with only one sidekick this time.

Mina and Johnathan return upon receiving the news and Van Helsing tries to convince Mina that vampires are a thing the same way he did with Seward but with more "ah but you don't need to know all that because you're a woman" so she doesn't buy it until she connects the dots with Johnathan's experience and reads his journal, proceeds to tell him everything in there was real and gets Quincey to help them catch up on what happened with Lucy and to catch him up on what Dracula seems to be up to.

They go to Van Helsing for advice, he comes up with an arrangement that keeps Mina busy with something important but "safe" while he and the lads go out breaking and entering. Quincey shoots at a bat, Dracula gets Mina, Johnathan gets his anime transformation, Van Helsing burns Mina with something holy, there's an argument between the guys that gets cut off by Mina breaking down and Johnathan shooing the others out to comfort her, but Quincey sleeps in the hall outside.

Dracula runs away but forgets to turn off Mina's psychic "find your phone" settings, Mina is the Train Fiend, Van Helsing is confronted with how his efforts have led to further pain and realizes maybe they'll be better off if he steps back into a mentor rather than leader role, Quincey arms everyone and takes care of them by throwing money around and trying to be the level headed dependable comforting one, Mina can tell when Dracula is paying attention to her and this is the only time when hypnosis is necessary, the chase happens roughly as in canon.

Mina and Van Helsing go up to the castle to fight the Weird Sisters, maybe it's a bit more active this time, maybe Mina manages to channel Dracula's command in a way that saves them from the girlies but they realize that she's more vampiric than ever and killing Dracula is even more urgent.

Quincey and Johnathan follow Dracula by boat or by horse, whichever one is more exciting. They bond and it's low key kinda bisexual ngl but if anything comes of that it's a promise to talk to Mina once it's all over and they're safe again, they generally plan wistfully for the future, Johnathan feels a chill in sync with when Mina uses the Dracula power, Quincey suggests a spar to practice and get out their energy, maybe to add more interest here one of Dracula's scouts finds them and says there's a group of Dracula's servants that want to be free and will help them fight when they catch up.

The final battle goes a little differently, Mina puts herself in a barrier circle to protect Van Helsing from the possibility of her going vampiric but keeps a gun to provide ranged aid, Quincey and Johnathan roll up to Dracula's entourage and their secret allies back them up in the fight, Mina and Van Helsing provide cover fire and maybe make it seem like there's way more armed reinforcements up here to scare off the servants, the boys tag team Dracula as god intended, the gang reunites.

If I want to be evil and make good on those death flags, then Quincey dies (but not before seeing Mina's recovery and also getting kissed on the cheek by both Harkers at the same time) and the Harkers' first son is named after him. If I want to spare Quincey, then Van Helsing dies and his last moments are spent telling the gang that he's proud of them, and especially telling Mina that she's the brightest student he's ever had and he only wishes he could live to see her success but something about watching over them all from heaven idk. I guess the Harkers would name their first son Abraham then lmao, and maybe I'd give Quincey a lasting injury from the fight so he uses mobility aids in the future, and they'd definitely stay as a close knit trio forever. One might even call them roommates. See the thing is Quincey dying is canon and would bring more proper tragedy but also I don't want to kill him...

[superectojazzmage]

What are the most insane bits of comics deep lore you can think of? I remember there was a post listing a highlight of some of the crazier bits, like how the Human Torch canonically killed Hitler, but it'd be nice if you made your own.

That was my post lol. But there are some more I can think of.

To solve the problem of characters with war-based origin stories becoming dated to real history and thus walking chronology headaches, Marvel introduced a completely fictional war — the Sin-Cong War — that replaces the role of most real world conflicts in the Marvel Universe. Mr. Fantastic and Thing’s originally stated history as WWII vets, Punisher’s past as a Vietnam veteran, Iron Man’s getting his chest injury and Juggernaut his magic gem in the Korean War, Professor X serving in the same war with his step-brother Juggernaut, and much more have been reworked as occurring in the Sin-Cong War, which is best described as “what Nam would’ve looked like in a world of superheroes”. The main exceptions are Captain America, Nick Fury, Namor, and Wolverine, all of whom have various excuses that allow them to keep their WWII service as canon.

Doctor Strange is immortal. It’s almost never brought up in adaptations, but in canon, the ritual he underwent to be officially named Sorcerer Supreme involved him being granted biological immortality by the Vishanti, meaning that he no longer ages. This has had the odd effect of making Strange yet another exception to the whole “comic book time” issue; he canonically became Sorcerer Supreme in the 70s and that has never changed at any point.

Black Widow is also functionally immortal, thanks to a special anti-aging serum she receives periodically (the same that Nick Fury uses), allowing her to still be written as somebody who was a Cold War spy, even as the comics progress into the 2000s onwards.

Black Panther once got called a race traitor by an African-American man for hanging out with white superheroes, much to his bafflement.

Spider-Man and Mysterio once walked into a theater in their secret identities at the same time, failed to recognize each other, and spent the entire time having a geeky conversation about their love of old movies.

When Grant Morrison wrote Magneto as being very evil in their X-Men run, other writers went tripping over themselves to retcon it away because of what I can only describe as a deeply parasocial relationship with a fictional supervillain. The original story involved Magneto disguising himself as a made-up new superhero named Xorn to infiltrate the X-Men and destroy New York. The retconned and now canon story involves Xorn’s evil twin brother pretending to be Magneto pretending to be Xorn doing that.

There’s a minor Spider-Man villain named Facade who was supposed to be the crux of an ongoing mystery plotline but poor reception led to Marvel scrapping those plans before Facade’s identity could be revealed. The result is that the comics now have a running gag of Facade showing up randomly every few years but never getting to reveal his name.

Man-Thing is not just a swamp monster that burns people when they’re scared, he is the guardian and manager of the Nexus of All Realities, a mystical location where the borders between realms is thin and dimensional teleportation is very easy. The Nexus is located in Florida.

Jubilee is canonically one of the most powerful X-Men, as while she mentally limits herself to small pops and fireworks to fight crime, she can actually generate massive and long-lasting explosions capable of devastating entire city blocks, something proven when she accidentally obliterated the Mandarin’s castle in a moment of panic. It has been speculated that she could make a new sun if she really put her heart into it.

Similarly, the most powerful member of the Fantastic Four is Invisible Woman, because her forcefield powers are so game-breaking strong that she can use them to blow up Celestials with a thought.

Conan the Barbarian, Count Dracula, Frankenstein, Godzilla, the Micronauts, and Rom the Spaceknight are all canonically real people in the Marvel Universe. G.I. Joe and the Transformers are also real in an alternate universe.

Doctor Doom once got extremely drunk while having a portrait of himself without his mask made and went on a very long rant about his mommy issues to the famous painter he commissioned for it. After learning what he did and also deciding that the painter’s brushwork left much to be desired, Doom disintegrated the man with a death-laser, which caused his paintings to receive a sudden spike in price value.

To give perspective on how hard it can sometimes be to keep a character permanently dead in Marvel nowadays… a writer once had Wolverine finally kill Sabretooth by maiming him beyond even healing factor repair and then decapitating him with a magic sword that was explicitly stated would purge Sabretooth’s soul if it so much as even touched him, and it was repeatedly and thoroughly stated and demonstrated that this was the real Sabretooth and not a clone or robot or anything like that, and a later writer supported this by showing Sabretooth’s soul in Hell. Less then a year later, Sabretooth was back and the new writer justified it with “Wolverine killed a clone”.

Similarly, when Marvel killed off their version of Dracula (see above), they included in that issue a supposedly legally binding document proving they couldn’t bring him back from the dead. He is now back from the dead.

Hercules has to regularly fight off accusations that his sidekick/best bud Amadeus Cho is his “eromenos” — that is to say, his submissive and breedable gay lover.

Moon Knight has recently purged New York of vampires by luring them all to a dinner party, using the fact that he’s technically the priest of the moon god Khonshu to consecrate all the water in the building into holy water, then activating the sprinkler system. There were no survivors.

Doctor Doom is not actually a doctor. He flunked out of college following the accident that scarred his face and the “doctorate” he now holds is one he unilaterally gave to himself after taking over Latveria.

Mr. Fantastic and Invisible Woman’s son Franklin is destined to become the next Galactus. If something goes wrong and he can’t do it, the role will be fulfilled by Mr. Immortal, a superhero with no power except coming back to life everytime he dies.

Scarlet Witch and Vision’s children, Wiccan and Speed, are technically not their children. They were born separately to different parents, but are the reincarnated souls of twin boys that Wanda once believed she had given birth to years ago but didn’t. Confused? You should be.

The planet Earth is sentient and sapient, being known as the Machine by the Eternals, who were created by the Celestials to maintain it. The Earth is a Trekkie.

Professor X is actually much younger than how adaptations tend to portray him, being only about in his mid-forties at oldest by this point in the comics. Magneto is significantly older then him, despite the tendency of people to assume they’re the same age.

Cyclops once stole a guy’s bike to save the world.

Deadpool is romantically involved with the personification of Death and thus regularly cucks Thanos.

[marias-wonderland]

I like to think Alucard as being a massive bookworm. I been reading Bram Stocker's Dracula and the dude got a library filled with not only books but pamphlets, articles, newspaper, and just pretty anything that he can get his hands one(the library is a mess). He even learned English through books.

So I think Alucard would be a book nerd and maybe a bit of a movie nerd too.

Idk what do you think?

I don't know what I've done to deserve such sweet asks today! Thank you sooo much!!

I've read the book as well back in high school (fun fact: I used to read it during maths classes xD). I remember that part, it was in the beginning of the book, when Jonathan arrived at the castle if I'm not mistaken?

Yes, I remember how he learnt English through books and stuff and that he wanted to hold conversations with Jonathan because he wanted to master his accent (Jonathan noted how his accent and intonation sometimes was a bit off?).

Also don't forget that he was a prince! Royalty was known for being erudite (or at least having access to the best education of that time). It was crucial for his survival as a ruler to educate himself on a plethora of fields. Managing a kingdom is not only about impaling people! Having knowledge on finances, on psychology and on agriculture were some important factors I think.

It was only natural that he would end up a little bookworm.

I'm sure that sometimes, he spends his time in the manor's library, reading whatever books he likes, while drinking blood from a blood bag. Perhaps even integra says to walter to purchase more books for him to read? Whatever doesn't make him drown his sorrows in alcohol and cry into his coffin (Because she remembers her father's words, how Alucard is basically a sobbing child. She makes sure to provide him the few things that bring him serenity).

His favourite books would be historical books, obviously studying the history of the nations of the world, but also catching up with the history of his own country (since he can not visit it anymore). He doesn't strike me as a fiction lover, in a "books filled with magic and friendship" way. Perhaps he would enjoy the horror genre, like Poe and King, since he's accustomed to unbridled chaos and lunacy (perhaps he would even talk to himself about how he would have written the books to be extra scary? Or positively applause the writers for writing something "adequately" scary for mere humans?).

Or he would find science fiction interesting? I'm sorry but idk much about this genre. I remember hirano referenced "Dune" in Hellsing, so I suppose Alucard wouldn't mind it.

My little personal HC is that Alucard would love to read erotica books to Integra (Just imagine that deep masculine voice narrating some spicy activities into your ear 🤭). Integra of course would try to decline buuuut, who can resist a Romanian prince reading you erotica? Certainly not me! (And her xD). Or even if this didn't happen, he would spend his time imagining it (because everyone deserves to have fantasies xD).

The movie nerd is canon ya know, Alucard really loved action packed movies! One of his dreams had a character from those old action movies if I remember correctly (I read about this from some old hellsing posts around here). He loves his movies with guns and violence! (And perhaps some sex in there? xD).

[see-arcane]

Love your rambling, actually. Jonathan’s been hesitant to go along with Van Helsing’s plans ever since he was told to shut Mina out “for her own good” the first time. Each time, he seems to be the only one who still doubts Helsing after Helsing reassures everyone in his “Honeyed tones”, but is always outvoted and pressured into going along. Today Helsing hit his ptsd square in the jaw and he snapped, but even then he could tell nothing would come of his protests.

If it is Hypnosis, idk why it doesn’t seem to affect him as much. Maybe because the others are already at least a little willing to agree with him, so they can be influenced by it more easily than Jonathan’s form opposition. But a part of me gets the sense that, whatever he does (or doesn’t) write, he doesn’t like or trust Van Helsing much, especially right now.

The thing is, Jonathan has to be feeling two ways about Van Helsing. It was the Professor who clarified, yes, Dracula is real, the vampiric nightmare Jonathan went through was not his imagination or a result of madness, you can stop doubting yourself, Jonathan. This guy tossed Mr. Harker a desperately needed lifeline while he was stuck in a spiral between belief in monsters and belief that he was insane. Better yet, Van Helsing was and remains a key mobilizing force for their vampire hunting crew coming together, taking action, and preparing to destroy Dracula for good.

Great!

...But, he was also the main influence in insisting Mina be shut out of Men's Grim Work (c) once she had finished being useful (at the time). Come along, Jonathan, we already went through your diary--we need a Man's Man like you at our side, but stay mum to Madam Mina, eh?

Cue October 3rd.

Cue all the aftermath.

Cue today, with Van Helsing--the man of wafers and stakes and blades and 'private' discussions of Mina that are nowhere near as subtle as he thinks--saying that Jonathan and Mina must part ways. That Van Helsing and Mina must go alone to Castle Dracula to see to the Brides. Trust him, friends, it's what's best.

I wouldn't be surprised if that cavalier announcement in itself triggered something in Jonathan--a flashback to a certain other learned older gentleman giving him request-orders in such a polite and earnest tone. Just trust him, Jonathan. His ways are not your ways, but they are the ways you must follow.

And where did all that obedience get him? Oh, it saved his neck, true. But giving into Dracula's games and demands was what allowed the whole hellish mess in England to happen in the first place.

Just as that same obedience was what led to him going along with Van Helsing and the others' decision to keep Mina in the dark, against all instincts and desire to the contrary.

And now. Now Van Helsing wants to take Mina and his suspicions out and away to the Carpathians. Alone.

Finally, Jonathan snaps. Probably just short of reaching for the kukri. It's likely this same mindset that would block any kind of low-key mesmerism on Van Helsing's part too; you have to be willing to let a trance happen for it to work. The Suitors Three and Mina are on board with the Professor. Jonathan very much is not. After Dracula, the Brides, and getting every last one of his distrusting buttons pushed by their current situation, the best hypnotist in the world likely couldn't make a dent in him now. God Himself is on thin ice in the trust department, even if Jonathan says it's all in His hands.*

(*And my, doesn't it seem to him like the Lord has a case of butter fingers when it comes to routinely poking holes in their lives.)

He only goes along with the plan because Van Helsing actually does manage to make some logical points to back up his idea of splitting the party. You know. Once he bothers to share it rather than just expecting everyone to be cool with his decision straight out of the gate.

[archester-creations]

Rated: G

Pairing: Arthur Van Alten/Dracula

Word Count: ~700

A/N: post-season one

It wasn’t exactly rare for Arthur and Dracula to fight. Though anymore, it was rare for Arthur to pull out a crucifix when they did. Vlad didn’t even think he carried it with him anymore (apparently he was wrong). The second the crucifix is out, Vlad forgets what the fight is even about. It’s probably stupid (they all are anymore). There’s something brewing between them and Vlad has a feeling he knows what it is. It’s been brewing for months now. Vlad is pretty sure Arthur hasn’t felt it, or if he has that he just doesn’t have any idea what it is or, given the history, what the two most likely outcomes are. They’ll either kiss, maybe roughly, or Arthur will try to timeslime him and Vlad will get away before he can. Personally Vlad hopes for the first. He likes this family, he likes having a family, and he doesn’t want to give it up.

“Back! I, Arthur Van Alten, compel you,” Arthur says and it’s definitely not the best thing to do, but Vlad can’t help the laugh that bubbles out of him. The absolute confusion on Arthur’s face at his reaction– at it being the only reaction– only makes it worse. He frowns and hits the crucifix. Like it’s a tv remote that has suddenly stopped working. It’s something Edith has done before.

“That won’t work,” Vlad says and Arthur’s eyes snap to him, glaring. Like he is the cause. Though, he guesses that is true. In a way he is the cause of the crucifix’s little ‘malfunction’. This is perhaps the funniest confirmation of what Vlad thought was brewing.

“What do you mean it won’t work? I have plenty of faith in my family,” Arthur says.

“Yes, and it’s as unshakeable as ever. But your emotions toward me have changed, haven’t they, monster hunter?” Vlad says.

“I assure you they have not, vampire.” The noun is said with what Vlad assumes is all the bile Arthur can manage. It’s almost laughable how little there actually is. Just a few months ago there was much more. It practically dripped from Arthur’s lips, dark and dangerous and attractive, as they fought.

"Did you know Miriam didn't use a crucifix when she killed her husband? She still loved him, even after all the awful things he'd done," Vlad says offhandedly. Honestly the hope that Arthur might get it without him spelling it out is low, but.

"What's that have to do with anything?" Arthur asks, looking agitated. Or perhaps confused. He can be such a stupid man, and Vlad sighs.

"You can't use the crucifix on me, can you?" Vlad asks. Arthur doesn't answer. "Think. What does this mean about your feelings towards me? I'd really rather not have to tell you, Arthur."

"It means you've figured out some new trick," Arthur says and brandishes the crucifix once more. "Get back! I, Arthur Van Alten, compel you!"

Vlad sighs again and steps closer, Arthur stepping backward with each of his steps, until Arthur's back hits the wall and Vlad is able to pluck the crucifix from his hand with his fingertips. The metal itches across his skin. It's warm with Arthur's body heat. He lets it clatter to the floor next to them. "That won't work against someone you love."

"Love?" Arthur barks a laugh. "Dream on, vampire."

"Fine, if you don't believe me I could always turn Edith for a day and let you try on her. I'm sure she'd be amenable," Vlad says.

"Don't you dare," Arthur says, the glare back and darker.

"Very well," Vlad says, because he won't poke that bee's nest. A lot of their early fights were about the children. They both loved them dearly, in different ways that often set Arthur off, skeptical monster hunter that he was. Is, still. Perhaps Vlad is the real fool, to think that almost two years with this family– nearly a year and a half as part of this– might've changed Arthur's perspective of his kind more. Might've changed his perspective of him.

His eyes fall to the crucifix– shining gold against red carpet– and he knows that it must have. Otherwise it would've worked. “I’ll let you think on it,” Vlad says. Before Arthur is able to say anything else, Vlad turns to mist and floats from the hallway, brushing cold against Arthur briefly. It will likely be best if he leaves him alone for now.

[yamchaisawesome]

So a while back I was talking about a quirkless Deku’s fighting style. Now I have a strong urge to talk about everyone else in his class in this AU. This will mostly be story changes but in some characters’ cases there will be entire personality overhauls.

Yuga Aoyama: We’re keeping the whole (Redacted) thing but now he’s even more conflicted about it as he sees Izuku do well without a quirk.

Mina Ashido: She is literally the exact same. No complaints. Love her to death.

Tsuyu Asui: She’s good.

Tenya Iida: Stain actually manages to get away in this AU and acts as a wild card for the rest of the series, working with whoever best suits his ideals in the moment. Tenya still wants to murder him in cold blood but attempts to hide that fact from everyone who would get in his way.

Ochako Uraraka: keep her pretty much the same pre sports festival. After her fight with bakugo, she realises that being a rescue hero still often requires confrontation. Instead of just going for martial arts like the manga, she realises that the main issue was that she couldn’t get close to bakugo without being blasted. The solution? A giant fuckoff suit of armor with holes for her fingertips replaces her original hero outfit. Her quirk’s endurance is trained so that she can stop the extra weight from impeding her movement. Also just involve her more. I miss her.

Mashirao Ojiro: Him and Izuku are actually pretty close since Ojiro considers his quirk underwhelming and has been bullied in the past for it.

Denki Kaminari: As we’re changing Mineta entirely, he will no longer be his accomplice in his pervy schemes. Instead; we shall take Brock from Pokémon’s gimmick and have him flirt (poorly) with most new women he meets, then either get interrupted or promptly rejected. This is a recurring thing with hagakure.

Eijirou Kirishima: Same as canon. It’s hard to improve on perfection.

Koji Koda: I genuinely don’t know what to do with him.

Rikido Sato: Same as Koji.

Mezo Shoji: emo.

Kyoka Jiro: also emo. They’re besties with shoji. Also has a crush on Momo but refuses to tell her.

Hanta Sero: Tape boy acts as class clown and is izuku’s study buddy. They compare how he uses his quirk to Deku’s support items and vice versa.

Fumikage Tokoyami: Goth. Jiro and him have a bitter rivalry but will band together if someone says they’re both goth or emo to correct them (sometimes violently).

Shoto Todoroki: Same as canon- though he could have another running gag of doing things exclusively to piss off his dad.

Toru Hagakure: Sweet and Bubbly with a gag of being considered the hottest girl at school. Think Lucy from OG Dracula pre vampirism. Also for peace of mind, we’re giving her a hair suit like Mirio. She’s a high schooler come on guys.

Katsuki Bakugo: He’s the exact same at the start but his arc is a bit different. The longer he stays at UA, the more his strength based worldview starts to crumble. The character most involved in this arc of his is endeavor. Bakugo starts to quickly notice how the number 2 hero, while solving more crimes, is still only the number 2 hero because of his lack of friendliness and cooperation. After he stops being an ableist piece of shit, he’s still an asshole. Like he’s still very angry all of the time but he cares a lot about his friends and stops other people from acting like he did.

Minoru Mineta: He is very different. First of all he’s a strategist above all else, using his quirk in interesting ways like setting traps and attaching them to ropes to pull people away from danger. Secondly, he still has a perverted side, but is way less of a creep about it. He’s respectful and normal about women, if a bit awkward and bashful. When Deku first enters his dorm he’s genuinely shocked to see the absurd amount of hentai he has under his bed. Finally he’s one of Deku’s best friends. It’s funny and they both share a love of heroes, tactical minds, and a history of bullying.

Momo Yaoyurozu: Better costume obviously (hair suit like Mirio or something) but also just More Of Her. Come on. She’s great and underutilized.

[sindar-princeling]

I posted 465 times in 2022

That's 369 more posts than 2021!

235 posts created (51%)

230 posts reblogged (49%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@sindar-princeling

@svogliata-mente

@cornerful

@elven-child

@is-it-mungojerry-or-rumpelteazer

I tagged 463 of my posts in 2022

#lotr newsletter - 164 posts

#it's mine my own my precious - 136 posts

#no questions except on party business - 127 posts

#anon - 61 posts

#not lotr - 28 posts

#frodo - 25 posts

#aragorn - 20 posts

#lotr - 15 posts

#rings of power - 15 posts

#samwise - 14 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#i saw the asks and mentions and yall are the best but i cant reply rn because in a minute im flying out to see ✨️❤️david tennant🥰✨️ live

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

absolutely loving the daily dracula idea let's do lord of the rings next

1,660 notes - Posted May 6, 2022

#4

between the newsletter’s entry where we learn the ponies are okay, me picking apart rings of power and analysing why it doesn’t fully feel like tolkien, and this one gifset of frodo and sam i reblogged, i felt like i finally have to gather my thoughts regarding what makes tolkien tolkien

and while there are many things that do, i’d argue that the most special one is its earnestness.

characters in LOTR care unabashedly, with all their hearts, and love so easily, whether it’s platonic, familial or romantic.

the hobbits feel like the most obvious example - merry, pippin and sam follow frodo for as long as they’re able; their loyalty goes deep to their bones, and their relationships are so full of trust, joy, devotion, fondness.

but all of LOTR is just more examples of the same thing. after the war legolas spends the rest of his life in middle-earth with gimli - they travel together for over a hundred years - and then he decides he won’t just say goodbye when gimli dies! and he does something that hasn’t been done before and just takes gimli to valinor, but not before aragorn dies. because they both loved him, too. faramir asks “do you not love me, eowyn?“ and she realises she does, and he says he’ll marry her and they’ll grow a garden and heal, and he kisses her even though everyone can see them. sam loves frodo, and he loves rosie, and he spends his life with her, then joins frodo in the undying lands after she dies.

and it shines through in the movies, too! it’s thanks to both the direction and the acting skills of the cast, of course, that so, so often all emotions are on full display - whenever sam and frodo interact, when aragorn kisses boromir’s forehead, when the hobbits say goodbye at the grey havens, when pippin finds merry at the battlefield, the way gandalf reacts when frodo says he’ll go to mordor, the way theoden breaks down at his son’s grave, the way he cares about eowyn like she’s his own child, the way eomer reacts when he finds eowyn and thinks she’s dead. those are just examples off the top of my head.

it’s also very special to me because in many fictional works (not only in fantasy) people just aren’t allowed to be that open - mostly men, but not exclusively - meanwhile this earnestness is something i always look for in fiction.

it stands out especially if you consider some fantasy creators (not naming any names but you know who i mean ajsjdjfjf) saying they “just want to reflect the misogyny of the period” (which is just bullshit and also demeaning to people of all genders in so many ways), because while LOTR is heavily male-dominated, tolkien managed to do something very, very interesting and important there.

he says, “war is the province of men”, but it doesn’t mean you’re supposed to want to be there. you’re not supposed to want to go to battle, suffer and/or die. eomer wants eowyn to stay home because he loves her, and couldn’t stand to see her die in a cruel, gruesome way (and when he thinks she’s dead, it’s the most devastating display of grief in the whole movie trilogy).

the heroes go to war because there are things that need defending, and dying for a noble cause is honorable, but again - it’s about defending, not about fighting. the clearest villains of LOTR are people who want the war to happen. many of the heroes, most of whom are men, just want peace for their people, want companionship (one of the first things aragorn says to the hobbits is that he’d be happy to have more friends, because being a ranger means he’s lonely), or want a good meal and a good drink like the hobbits. they want comfort and warmth. they want to finish a book like bilbo. they want to live in a garden among all things that live and grow like faramir. they want to marry and have a home and kids like sam.

and the things is, it’s not always that common in fiction, but it’s absolutely common, you know. IN REAL LIFE? BECAUSE MEN ARE PEOPLE? so it’s just really good to have tolkien absolutely divorce masculinity in his works from how his characters show emotions, or how much comfort they crave. and that is a realistic approach i’m interested in.

1,956 notes - Posted October 2, 2022

#3

The previous post made me think some more about the real life influences on LOTR, so because I’m down with a cold and have a lot of time to spare, I finally wanted to write a coherent post about those comments GRRM made about Aragorn and his tax policy.

For those who haven’t heard the actual quote, here it is:

Tolkien can say that Aragorn became king and reigned for a hundred years, and he was wise and good. But Tolkien doesn’t ask the question: What was Aragorn’s tax policy? Did he maintain a standing army? What did he do in times of flood and famine? And what about all these orcs? By the end of the war, Sauron is gone but all of the orcs aren’t gone – they’re in the mountains. Did Aragorn pursue a policy of systematic genocide and kill them? Even the little baby orcs, in their little orc cradles? In real life, real-life kings had real-life problems to deal with. Just being a good guy was not the answer.

And my god, do I have problems with this approach to Tolkien. It’s kind of like asking why Bilbo was unconscious for a lot of the battle of five armies, when we know it was a story Tolkien was telling his kids before sleep.

When looking at LOTR, I think you can’t not read it as an ultimate escapist fantasy - and what’s most important, Tolkien’s personal escapist fantasy.

He is Frodo - a man born into a middle class family, educated, well-read, with close friends coming from the same “social sphere”, like Merry and Pippin, who died in WWI. Sam is in a very literal sense the batmen Tolkien fought with, which he said he considered “so far superior to myself”.

Tolkien had a few batmen during the war, like the article from my previous post mentions. Most probably because he fought in a few different units, but also, he may have lost some of them to war.

And in LOTR, they all get a happy ending.

Of all four of them, Frodo is the only one who can’t return home, most probably mirroring Tolkien’s trauma. He’s the only one whose ending is grounded in trauma, PTSD, loss. The rest of the hobbits get happy endings - very simple and traditional in a way that after the war was nothing but good - they marry, they have kids, the kids marry each other, everyone is happy and lives long lives.

Sam, especially, gets the happiest ending of all in this sense - he marries a woman he grew up with, he has so many beautiful kids, he is mayor for like seven times and everyone loves him, the Shire thrives.

Tolkien was too traumatised after the war not to write Frodo as a mirror of his experiences. But then he took all the people who fought alongside him, who suffered alongside him, people who he lost, and gave them the happiest fairy tale endings he could think of. And it’s not that Merry, Pippin and Sam weren’t as traumatised - this ending is not meant to belittle their experiences - Tolkien is simply giving them the ending that real life didn’t give them.

Returning to the original point, to Aragorn - it’s just another version of the same mechanism. Gondor was struggling, Gongor had Mordor as their immediate neighbours and was heavily affected by the war as well. And then there came a just, good king, and everything was fine. The end. It’s a subplot of the same fantasy as the hobbits’ endings. It doesn’t matter how hard ruling is, we trust that Aragorn is a good king, because people of Gondor deserve a good king (the people of the real world deserved a good ruler who wouldn’t drag them to war), and we know that Aragorn is an honorable, just man.

Nothing about the LOTR ending - apart from Frodo’s trauma - is meant to be realistic. Why would Tolkien want to write WWI and the aftermath - this time fictional.

2,038 notes - Posted September 24, 2022

#2

a friendly reminder 🔫🙂

(ID is added in alt text)

8,910 notes - Posted February 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

between describing elrond as an "ambitious political leader" and describing GoT as a "spiritual successor to lotr movies" I see now how stupid it was to think that the lotr series' intended audience would be you know. lotr fans

9,688 notes - Posted February 11, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[horrormoviemonstermakeout]

MONSTER RATING: Dracula (Renfield)

Renfield is a horror-comedy directed by Chris McKay and marks the second movie where Nicolas Cage plays a deranged vampire. When I found out he was set to play Count Dracula, I had to mull it over in my brain before finally determining, yes, Nicolas Cage as Dracula is actually extremely fitting. I’ve not read Dracula but from what Tumblr people have told me, he’s a giant freak, and oh boy does Nic Cage make Dracula the biggest goddamn freak you’ve ever seen. I almost wish he was in a better movie than this one.

Renfield plays out like fanfiction of the original story. The story takes place, presumably, over a century after the events of the book (though Dracula either survives the battle at the end or it never happened at all) in the city of New Orleans. Robert Montague Renfield (Nicholas Hoult), servant and familiar to Count Dracula (Nicolas Cage), has grown tired of his abusive relationship to his master and seeks to escape it. While attempting to search for more victims to restore his lord to full power, he runs afoul of the Lobos gang, run by Teddy Lobo (Ben Schwartz) and his mother (Sohreh Aghdashloo). This happens tangentially to the side plot of an extremely angry cop, Rebecca Quincy (Awkwafina), who is attempting to take down the Lobos gang after the murder of her police lieutenant father by their hands. These two plots collide as Count Dracula and the Lobos gang team up in order to rule the world, and it’s up to Renfield and Rebecca to stop them.

This movie is a complete mess, and I am shocked that it somehow garnered a 65$ million dollar budget, and slightly less shocked that it was a total flop at the box office. I’m going to tear into this movie, but I will say outright that I fairly enjoyed it, it’s delightfully stupid - mainly because I watched it with friends and we kept making fun of it; the best way to watch this movie in my opinion.

Tonally, Renfield is all over the place. The themes of an abusive relationship, the absurd amount of gore, and the characters cussing every two seconds would make you think this movie’s intended audience is for adults, but the plot plays out like something out of an Illumination film. Renfield doesn’t want to be a conniving monster like his master, he wants to be independent, a defender of the innocent, a hero - just like Rebecca! These characters act like they’re in a kids movie all the while being surrounded by blood and viscera. There’s this one scene where Renfield and Rebecca have to defend themselves from the gang threatening to shoot up the diner they’re inside of, and the two manage to brutally kill and mutilate every single enemy in the vicinity. Afterwards, they share casual, somewhat awkward dialogue - Rebecca tells Renfield he’s a hero, Renfield is a bit sheepish about it, they make little quips at each other - keep in mind that they are surrounded by several dozen dismembered corpses while they share quips. This happens more than once. They just seem incredibly blase about their extremely high body count, which I’m aware is quite possibly the joke but it falls completely flat. I’m certain that if you took out all the gore and swearing, this movie would barely be PG-13.

I was right about Nic Cage being an amazing fit for Dracula. Nic Cage’s Dracula is the only anchor that makes this film worth watching, in all honesty. He plays into his character so delightfully freakishly that I almost wish he was in a better movie than this. Can you imagine how bad a movie would have to be if it makes you think, “Nic Cage’s talents are being wasted on this film?” I’ve seen Adaptation. I know he’s goofy but I think he’s a genuinely good actor, and his interpretation of Dracula was one of the few things that made me keep watching this film. He plays his character more or less completely straight compared to everyone else, and it’s way more fun than watching Renfield and Rebecca share stock movie dialogue and having a liar-revealed-plot. He’s an overly-dramatic little goober who tries his best to be 100% spooky all the time. He sits on a throne made of blood bags. He sips blood out of a martini glass filled with prop Party City eyeballs like he’s still playing the Ghostrider. He wears black suits with glitter lapels. I came for Nic Cage Dracula, I stayed for Nic Cage Dracula, and I do not think this movie would be as worth watching without him in it.

So, I’m going to talk about something that will seem very out of left field: is this movie copaganda? True, the entire police force is controlled by the Lobos gang - very little surprise here - but our hot-headed cop deuteragonist Rebecca is portrayed as a heroic figure, despite her continuous violation of several laws. More than once she discharges her firearm into a public space filled with innocent civilians, and manages to stack a body count about as high as Renfield’s. Of course, this is typical police behavior, but the movie never seems to criticize it once. In fact her only flaw is “she gets too angry sometimes,” which doesn’t even seem to be resolved by the end of the film. And I know it seems absurd for me to expect “Renfield” of all movies to criticize police behavior, but she’s literally about as violent as every other corrupt cop in the movie.  I guess her excessive murder is justified because she’s doing it for a good cause: to extrajudicially execute as many gang members and cops that stand in her way to arrest one person. True justice!

To reiterate: this movie is a mess. It’s bad, but I do believe bad movies are good in their own way. I had a fun time watching it with friends. Would I watch it again? No, not really. But if you’re looking for a movie that you can just turn your brain off to and make fun of with buds, Renfield is probably the movie for you.

Okay, I’m tired of talking about this shitass movie. Insert your "this movie sucks" joke here and let's get on to talking about the only person that matters in this movie

- MONSTER RATING - DRACULA -

CREEPINESS: 3/10 - He’s too much like Nic Cage. I understand that this is why I like this version of Dracula, but I like it because he’s a delight to watch. Would I say he’s scary? Well, his rows of sharp teeth, pale green skin, and raspy, whispery accent does give him a creepy-ish vibe. But it’s Nic Cage. He, and I cannot stress this enough, sips blood out of a martini glass full of eyeballs. He’s about as scary as Jeff the Killer. He’s a caricature of something scary. This isn’t to say that the movie intended to make him scary - it is a horror-comedy after all. In fact, this is probably the genre of horror movie best suited for him if he were to play the antagonist. I don’t think he could play a serious role.

Would it be possible to make him scary? …Maybe? I’m trying to imagine what a scary Nicolas Cage might look like, but all I can think about is him being a little menace in Face/Off, or every meme in The Wicker Man. I think his image is too ingrained into his other, less serious roles for me to be convinced that he’s something to be feared. Like trying to make Christopher Walken or Seth Rogen the main monster in a horror film, I don’t think it’s ever happening. That’s probably why he got cast into a horror-comedy instead of a straight horror film in the first place.

WETNESS: 7/10 - This movie is shockingly gory, but in a gleeful, silly way. Renfield tears off a man’s arms and uses them like nunchucks, clubbing goons in the head with them. This is equally true for Dracula, who tries to find every chance he can get to soak himself in blood. It is Dracula after all, a very cartoonish depiction of him at that.

After Dracula’s introduction, he gets incinerated to charred, black flesh by the daylight and has to spend some time recuperating. When we see him next, his head is covered in patches of regenerating skin, some of it hanging off of him in loose strips. Exposed musculature is visible in parts that aren't covered by loose clumps of flesh. It’s surprisingly well-made makeup and practical effects, which is one of the few things I can give this film props for. Though, everything that isn’t practical effects - which is to say, very little - instead uses CGI, which is fine for what it is. I’m not gonna expect Renfield of all movies to be the bastion of practical effects.

DATEABILITY: 1/10 - Listen, I understand that Dracula is one of the most fuckable entities in all of fictional history, but you need to consider that this is Nic Cage’s Dracula. This monster rating is highly opinionated, and no offense to Nic Cage, I’m sure he’s a wonderful person, but I do not see him as a suitable romantic partner. The Dracula in this movie is too ingrained with his personality for me not to disentangle it from him. This is just Nicolas Cage as a vampire to me.

There is also the fact that this version of Dracula is meant to symbolize an abusive partner, which makes the dateability score drop very low in conjunction with the fact that it’s Nicolas fucking Cage. A narcissistic partner who gaslights and manipulates Renfield into staying with him despite all his abuse very clearly tells me he would make a terrible partner for someone. Just fuck regular Dracula like a normal person.

FINAL RATING: I WOULD NOT KISS THIS VAMPIRE / 10

[beevean]

hecula and harkula for the ship ask game please? 👀(movies/books/series/games whatev, your choice)

:)

Book Harkula and game Hecula get the same placement:

because I may be predictable, but I am also coherent 👍

(the reason I didn't go full 100% on "makes sense" is that I leave that tiny room for ships that are peak wholesome romance. obviously. obviously these two ships are less than wholesome.)

Anyway, creepy gross old bastard playing sick mental games with his favorite pretty boy stuck in his castle goes brrrrrrrr <3

I don't know how things go in Dracula 2020 (Jonathan becomes undead I think?), but in the book the Jonathan section is a marvel of realistic horror, of genuinely scary subtle abuse where you can see how finely Dracula is working Jonathan, destroying his sense of reality and making him feel all sorts of small and vulnerable and dependent on him. While I love how Jonathan manages to run away and the way he struggles with his trauma (honestly written better than in many modern works), at first being in deep denial for the shock but then getting ready to kill God if He stands in the way of him and shanking that monster, I'm also interested in AUs where Dracula manages to turn his new crush in a twisted, unholy marriage :) doing everything in his power to replace Mina in his heart :) corrupting this fine young upstanding man :) or does he :)

And well. I don't know what else I can say about Hecula. It's just. the narrative of the golden child who feels so loved and accepted only to realize that he's losing his sense of self, his dignity, his humanity for a cruel mentor and so decides to run away :) but the lingering effects of his servitude are always there, always affecting him and his life :) and Dracula didn't turn Hector and Isaac into vampires but he did infuse them with part of himself :) and Hector thinking about Dracula as he's dying and when he's renouncing his powers :) and the hints that Dracula did in his own way care about Hector ("the more precious things are...") :) and the narrative parallels of Hector almost falling as low as Dracula :) it's So Clear to me.

And just because I feel petty :P N!Hecula:

And this is my best explanation:

(we call N!Hector "Caesar" and N!Isaac "Abraham" as an inside joke :P)

nah jokes aside, I can tell N!Hector respects and cares about N!Dracula, going so far as to be concerned about his wellbeing regarding Lisa's death. And as much as his plan to revive him is a spit in the face of decent character development, I can at least snicker that ohhh look at him, wanting his master back, that's true love <3 game Isaac would be proud <3

But since N!Dracula is so mean to him and treats him like deadweight and clearly is in a relationship with N!Isaac, it's not as interesting. When I want to indulge in simp who'd die for his lord/lord who only sees his simp as a toy, Isaacula is right there :V