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seriouslysnape · 4 years

Note

Hi i would like to request severus x reader where its their first time together and reader guides sev bc he‘s a virgin ?

Okay, so I’ve been putting this one off. It’s such a good idea, I wasn’t sure how to tackle it. However, I’ve been thinking on it for a few days, and I think I did this request justice!

A Fast Learner

Severus Snape x Fem. Reader

Warnings: Smut.

Word Count: 3,066

“Shh. It’s okay.”

He had become very self conscious about it over the years. Well, he was self conscious about a lot of things, but especially something like this. It was embarrassing that he had made it this far in life and had never been intimate with someone. He knew it was mainly his own fault. He had spent his life saving himself for someone who wasn’t even around anymore, and someone who never loved him the way he did her.

Now, he was well into his adulthood years and he had yet to have sex with anyone. He had quite honestly accepted long ago that he’d never allow anyone to take his virginity. To most people, a person at his age with their so-called “v-card” still intact was odd and even a bit weird. Even if he did find someone he cared enough about, he would have NO idea what to do and it would be so off-putting that they’d likely run for the hills. Severus, as disappointed as he was, was convinced he’d live out the rest of his days as a virgin.

That was until he fell in love with you.

He admittedly didn’t expect it. You seemed rather average to him in the beginning. He failed to see how you were any different than anybody else he had ever encountered. The more time he spent with you, though, the more he saw in you. You were probably one of the most patient and understanding people he had ever met. You were an efficient communicator and an even better listener. You were a picture perfect person. He eventually found himself in a relationship with you that exceeded having dinner and private talks in each other’s offices.

For the first time in Severus Snape’s life, he had a steady girlfriend.

As thrilling and exciting as that was, it also caused a whole new set of worries for him. Having a girlfriend meant that he was going to have to be fully intimate at some point. It wasn’t something he could keep putting off the way he had been. You had a gut feeling that Severus had never had sex before. At first, you brushed his hesitation off to just being nervous. However, you began to notice the way he visibly would shrink away any time your make out sessions began to heat up. If nothing else, it explained why your relationship seemed to move at an aggravatingly tortuous pace.

He’d become fidgety when you tried to reach for his belt or when your giggles turned into breathy moans. He would simmer down the situation before it could ever evolve into more, which he hated to do. He knew you were dismayed whenever he did so. You were a beautiful, young woman who had needs. It wasn’t fair that you had to push your needs aside because of him. He definitely didn’t want you to begin to think that it had something to do with you.

He had never told you upfront that he was a virgin, and he hoped that maybe he would never have to. Whenever he did build up the courage to make love, perhaps he could get away with not saying anything. That dream was rather short lived when you finally questioned him one night after he turned you away once more.

You had been snuggled up next to him on the sofa in his living quarters, just chatting after a long day when your kisses became a little more heated and you ultimately ended up in his lap. Your knees were on either side of him so you were in a straddle position, kissing him with passion and desire. He kissed back as always, but you could feel the hint of uncertainty as his lips worked with yours. You kept in mind that this was usually the part where he’d stop you or get himself out of it. Still, you rolled your hips downwards into his crotch, your fingers finding his belt and beginning to unbuckle it.

As expected, he stopped kissing you and gently gripped your wrist. That was his signal for you to stop, to which you would normally just smile reassuringly and move on. However, you pulled your hand from his grasp and rested both of them on his shoulders.

You were intently looking at him, reading his guilt-stricken expression.

“Severus,” You began; “Is there something you want to tell me?”

He knew exactly what you meant. It was only a matter of time before you began to question him.

“I don’t know what you mean.” He said, letting the lie slip through his teeth.

You never averted your eyes from him. He wasn’t leaving until you obtained some answers. You wrapped a lock of his charcoal colored hair around your finger and twirled it mildly.

“Most men barely wait for their girlfriend to make a move on them. With you, it seems like you don’t want me like that.” You pointed out.

Severus was quick to answer, because this was exactly the thing he didn’t want you to think.

“No, no. I do. I really do.” He said truthfully.

Make no mistake, Severus did want to have that level of intimacy with you. He just couldn’t push himself to that point. He never wanted to disappoint you in any way, and he just knew his skills were probably little to none. You were confused at his response.

“Then why do you always push me away when I try?” You queried.

He sighed heavily. It was a fair question for you to ask. He would’ve probably asked the same if he were in your shoes. It was humiliating, but he knew he couldn’t hide it any longer. He took a breath and told you that he was a virgin. He half expected you to get up and walk out or go tell every living soul you knew. Instead, you smiled kindly and let out a soft laugh that wasn’t at all intended to be a mock towards his confession. He clenched his teeth as he awaited your reply. You moved your right hand to cup the side of his face.

“Oh, Severus...is that all?” You asked sweetly.

A feeling of surprise and relief fizzled through his body. He had been waiting for a much heavier, dramatic reaction.

“Well, I...it’s not really something I thought I’d ever tell you.” He explained, avoiding your gaze.

“You didn’t think you could keep it from me forever, did you?” You wondered. He didn’t respond, so you went on; “It’s nothing to be ashamed of. I can help you.”

He let out an irritated huff. You could tell he was beyond embarrassed.

“You shouldn’t have to.” He said.

You kissed his forehead, encouraging him to embrace the situation a little.

“I want to. It’ll benefit more than just me. Your first time should be special. I want to make it special,” You acknowledged; “But only if you want to. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

He was at a crossroads here. He wanted to do this, but he was still nervous. There were a million ways he could go wrong and mess up, but he also never thought there’d be anyone willing to offer a hand to him as an adult virgin. He realized that he loved you too much to keep treating you this way...so he agreed. He couldn’t help but nervously chuckle at your blinding smile. You were eager to teach him. He’d be a master in no time.

“I promise we’ll go slow.” You declared, whipping your shirt off of your head.

Severus felt a surge of heat go through his body at your breasts that were now VERY prevalent to him. His eyes widened and his stare lingered on them like a kid in a candy store. He looked over the black, lacy material of your bra and how it perfectly accented them. His cheeks burned a fiery red that he tried to hide, but to no avail. You bit your bottom lip to hold back a smile.

“Blushing already, Professor?” You asked teasingly.

If he was already this flustered, you couldn’t wait to see him when you got to the good stuff. His eyes snapped back to yours, he sheepishly apologized.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

You hushed him, putting a finger to his lips.

“Shh. It’s okay.”

You took his hands, bringing them around to your back. You maneuvered his fingers to unclasp your bra, and you slowly pushed the straps down your arms until it fell to the floor. His cheeks turned a darker shade of red now that you were fully exposed to him. He didn’t even try to confine his stare now. You spoke softly.

“You can touch them if you want.” You granted.

“Touch them?” He asked.

You giggled lightly.

“Yeah, S. With your hands...or your mouth.”

He decided to go with the first option, not confident enough in his skills yet. His hands were trembling a tad, as he brought them up to your chest. He was awkward at first, sort of just fondling with them in an amateurish way. Your nipples grew hard at the feeling of his large hands on your soft skin. He wasn’t sure what made him do it, but he leaned forward and took one of your nipples into his mouth. He sucked firmly and swirled his tongue over your breast. A satisfied gasp fell from your lips, startling him and causing him to stop.

“Are you alright? Did that hurt?” He asked frantically.

You let out another laugh.

“Sev, I was moaning.” You told him.

He shyly grinned.

“Oh.”

He took your nipple into his mouth again, his confidence slowly but surely beginning to build. You brought a hand to the back of his head.

“Kiss my neck.” You instructed.

He nodded, moving his lips up to your neck and kissed where you guided his head to go. You grinded your hips down onto his lap, a groan falling from his throat. You could feel his growing erection through his pants. You smirked, knowing the real show was about to begin.

“Let’s move to the bedroom.” You said, persuading him up from the sofa.

You took him by the hand, leading him to his large bed. You debated for a moment over what the best approach to this was. You thought for a minute that maybe it would be best if he stayed on the bed and you rode him, but you figured that he wouldn’t learn much out of that, however it would be pleasurable for him. You wanted his first time to be special, as you had previously mentioned. You decided to go traditional missionary, that way you could talk him through it.

You laid on your back, laughing at the way Severus was ogling over you. You motioned for him with your finger, and he timidly climbed onto the bed. He instinctively placed one of his knees on either side of you, which was a good start.

“Move down a little.” You requested.

He shifted down a bit so you could unfasten his belt and his pants. He helped you get them off, throwing them aside. You did away with your skirt and panties, now fully naked in front of him. He was fully hard now, your hand palming at his evident erection. He let out a soft groan, feeling amazed at how he had never been touched by anyone else like this before.

He sprang free once his boxers were thrown aside to join the growing pile of clothes on the floor. Your eyes gazed at his length, raking him over. You snapped out of your trance, taking him into your hand. You stroked slowly and softly, just enough so he could see how it felt.

You knew this was going to be a tedious process for the first time, you didn’t want to completely overwhelm him and ruin it for him. He let out a stuttered sigh at the feeling of his dick in your hand. He had of course rubbed himself like this before, but it was totally different when it was being done to him. His sounds were alone enough to make your sex become slick with wetness, but you reached for one of his free hands.

“Take these two fingers,” You said, pushing his side three fingers down, just leaving his middle and ring finger. You brought his fingers to your heated sex; “Now, just gently-”

You were stunned when he began rubbing in circles, slowly but firmly. You wriggled underneath him, not prepared for him to do it so well. You let out a groan at the waves of pleasure building through you, he kept his eyes on you with a rather concerned expression. He was still afraid of hurting you or messing up.

You stopped stroking him, taking his wrist and directing his fingers towards your clit. He knew he had hit the spot when you breathed out his name in a way he had never heard you before.

“Severus...” You exhaled.

He felt a burst of pride. Maybe he really could get the hang of this. He could feel the wetness spreading around his fingers, which is when you knew to stop him and move on with your instructions. You were beginning to realize that Severus was a fast learner. He’d have this in no time. You were a little breathless now, which swelled him with even more confidence.

“Take one of my legs and wrap it around your waist.” You said.

He took your right thigh into his hand, securing and hooking your leg around him. He noted that was how he’d be sure that you wouldn’t get too far from him. He was beginning to put pieces together.

“Okay, when you’re ready just push yourself in. Go slow at first.” You said, lining him up with your entrance.

His tip just barely was touching you, he looked to you, stricken with a bit of panic.

“[Y/N], I don’t want to hurt you.” He said, registering that this was the part he was most scared of.

You shook your head. Half in desperation for him and half to reassure him. You put his hands on your hips so he’d be steady once he did start to move.

“You’re not going to hurt me, Sev. I promise,” You said truthfully; “Just go at your pace. I’ll tell you if it hurts.”

You knew it wouldn’t, but it made him feel better to hear you say it. He took a breath, and leisurely pushed himself in as far as he could. You both let out a synchronous moan. He didn’t move for a second, wrapping his head around how damn good this felt. You didn’t expect him to stretch and fill you the way he did, so you were a little scattered when you spoke next.

“S-Sev, pull out a little, and then go back in again.” You said.

He gingerly pulled out, and went back in. He watched each time he moved in and out. He saw the way your eyelashes fluttered each time he went back in, and how your grip on his bicep tightened. You weren’t used to such a slow speed, but you didn’t want him to go fast if he didn’t feel like he could yet. However, you did try to convince him to pick it up a little.

“A little faster. If you want.” You said, really hoping he’d get the hint.

He did get it, and began to rock his hips faster, filling in the pauses that he had been taking between tortuous thrusts. He had figured out a rhythm now, his movements becoming monotonous, but gloriously good. He watched as your breasts bounced each time he pounded back into you, and how your mouth fell open with noises that were music to his ears.

You knew Severus was getting the hang of it, so you gave him another request.

“Take my leg and put it on your shoulder.”

He gave you a puzzled look, thinking that there was no way that would actually do anything. Still, he draped your leg over his shoulder and he thought he might just collapse. He was slamming into you at a new angle that was a total game changer, and created a whole new feeling of pleasure.

He knew sex was supposed to feel good, but he never thought it would feel THIS good. It was a bit of an accident, but he rotated his hips and you let out a high-pitched shriek that even he couldn’t mistake as a bad sound. You smirked at how he was now hitting your sensitive spot each time he went back in.

“Severus, you feel so good. Holy- yes, that’s perfect.” You cried out.

He didn’t dare speed up or slow down, if he had it right, he wasn’t going to mess with it. He continued to pound into you, alerted when he felt himself twitch inside of you. He assumed that meant that something was happening. Your own inner coil was growing hot, which was a delight to you, because you honestly weren’t sure at first if you would even finish since it was his first time. You arched your back to meet his thrusts, both of your releases coming quickly.

“Darling, I think I’m about to-” He was cut off by another one of your moans.

He felt the muscles in your leg contract, as you came around him. He thrusted a few more times before he did as well. A flash flood crashed over every nerve in his body. Your arms rested above your head as your chest heaved with each inhale. He slid out of you, falling next to you on the mattress. His head was spinning.

He had just lost his virginity. Something he had kept so private and locked away. He thought that maybe he’d be a little sad, but he wasn’t. He was beyond joyed to have lost it to someone he cared about so much. He leaned over, kissing your neck and nibbling on your earlobe.

“How...how was that?” He asked, a little apprehensive to hear your answer.

You looked over at him, a flashy smile and a voice full of honesty.

“Severus Snape,” You said; “You are one fast learner.”

#severus snape #severus snape x you #severus snape x y/n #severus snape x reader #severus #professor snape #professor snape x reader #professor snape x you #Harry Potter #harry potter snape #seriouslysnape

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tacobell-cheesecake · 4 years

Note

Can I request one where the reader is kidnapped with maeve and before Diane (or whatever her name was) get the chance to kill maeve, the reader saves maeve bc she knows that spencer loves maeve, but gets hurt while doing it and spencer realizes that’s he loves the reader? ( also, i’ve requested this to another acc but they weren’t comfortable with writing it.) Love your blog!

Here it is! I hope I did your request justice :)

Limited Perfection

Spencer Reid x Reader

Gender Neutral Reader

About 568 word count

TRIGGER WARNING: guns, hostage situation, passing out

--------------------------------------------------

Maeve and Y/N had met briefly, but didn’t know each other well enough to know exactly why they had both been taken hostage.

But one was the lover and the other, the best friend, of Spencer Reid.

Spencer.

Y/N couldn’t even try to imagine what he was thinking upon hearing the news of his girlfriend...and friend. Y/N also couldn’t imagine what was going to happen to them and Maeve. They swallowed a lump down their throat, and choked back some tears, forcing themself from looking over at the woman.

“Spencer loves Maeve, not me” Y/N told themself

This was their mantra, hoping to manifest the feelings they felt towards the young agent to go away.

___________________________________________________________________________

Spencer and Y/N had met at Y/N’s bookstore about three years ago. They were the only bookstore around that sold obscure novels in their native languages. Due to their shared love of obscure literature, the two quickly became friends. Y/N thought that maybe they were going to be more, but then Spencer met Maeve. She was smarter. Prettier.

___________________________________________________________________________

But here they both were, at the same level, fearing for their lives. As the FBI came in, Y/N knew Diane would take one of them, and the look on Spencer’s face made Y/N make-up their mind: Maeve needed to live. The gun was at the woman’s temple, but if Y/N moved their arm being held by Diane up at an angle, the gun would point up. Stepping on her foot might get her to loosen her grip on Maeve, allowing the brunette to move away.

And she did.

Y/N gave her a small smile, fearing the cold metal against her temple, but it never came. The gun went off, and Diane’s body hit the ground, and Y/N followed suit, passing out.

___________________________________________________________________________

“Y/N…Y/N...can you wake up...please?” a honey-eyed agent whispered softly to the slowly waking-up Y/H/C

“Spence...where’s...where’s Maeve?” Y/N asked; the recent events a fog in their brain.

“She’s fine...you saved her. The unsub is dead, but you hit your head pretty hard when you passed out. You’ll have to be checked for a concussion.”

“I saved her?”

Both Y/N and Spencer looked over at Maeve who was talking to Hotchner about her account of the events. Something felt off about her and Spencer.

“Aren’t you going to go over and talk to her?” Y/N wondered, now with a throbbing headache taking over

“I tried earlier, but I don’t think things will be the same for us anymore.” the man in front of Y/N said solemnly

He continued, “It's you Y/N. Not Maeve. I love you.”

Y/N was shocked and their jaw could’ve fallen to the floor.

“You’re wrong. It's just your emotions. I-I saved your girlfriend today, you love her, not me.”

Their eyes began to well up with tears. They had waited for this moment, but was it the wrong time?

“It’s always been you Y/N. I’ve loved you since the first time we met.”

They both leaned in as salt-stained faces and cracked lips met, frogetting, if even for a millisecond about the horrors of the day.

Everything felt right, even if it wouldn’t last forever. It felt like limited perfection, but oh, how they wished it would never end.

----------------------------------------

taglist: @kirbopopstar

#criminal minds #spencer reid #mgg #matthew gray gubler #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n

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delusionland · 3 years

Note

STEPHCASS FOR THE MEME <3

PRE-RELATIONSHIP

How did they first meet?

here is my personal hc. tim told cass about a girl. he didn’t tell her anything about the girl, just that she was woefully unprepared to be a crimefighter... but also she was kinda cute, in a totally naive way (90s tim was kind of an asshole, never forget). cass couldn’t quite understand what he was saying while he showed her the batfile on her---the picture of the spoiler, etc. but she got his general tone and body language. cass then sought steph out. for nights. nights looking for the spoiler. when she found her---she tackled her, immediately engaged her in a fight. she went so, so easy on her. she just wanted to see what a cute girl was. and steph... was definitely a cute girl. at the time, cass couldn’t talk, couldn’t communicate with her. but she left her a gift. a nice knife that she had throw at her head---deliberately missing it, that was... especially ornate, and seemed shiny and valuable, and most of all purple to match her costume. pretty purple girls like pretty purple things, right?

What was their first impression of each other?

steph probably did not think well of cass, at first. after that first outing---the batfamily got involved. cass was to help steph with her fighting. steph was to help cass with her speech. without the mask on---steph could see how much cass enjoyed her company. it was hard not to realize she had a sense of humor about everything. the laughter she had exhibited on a still-baby-at-the-time spoiler screaming her head off about what she thought was some kind of demon-ninja batgirl was... genuine, and not malicious in the slightest. she seemed to want to be friends, and every time steph frowned at her, or was a sore loser, cass simply smiled and laughed harder, finding everything steph did perfectly amusing. as they got to know each other---cass got better at talking, and steph got better at fighting, and they kind of, met somewhere on the outer edges of the middle for a while. there was always something standing between them--though. a resentment, not between them, but a misunderstanding. that cass belonged to bruce and the bat. and steph belonged to tim.

Did any of their friends or family want them to get together?

i feel like conner kent at the very least shipped it. alfred really thought there was a spark between them, and during their brief frenemy stage---alfred made sure steph knew cass genuinely cared for her. bruce did NOT want them to get together at all, though. neither did tim, for obvious reasons.

Who felt romantic feelings first?

cass. it was love the first time steph managed to punch herin the face. did she win? no. but she GOT her. and through that tenacity, cass realized that her friend was so much more than a silly, pretty girl. she was a fighter. she was a champion. and more than anything, she was brave, and determined, and they had practiced a thousand times for just this moment. and afterwards, steph was just so proud of her overall failure instead of being herr typical loser.... cass couldnt help but know steph was always going to be the love of her life.

Did either of them try to resist their feelings?

they both did! didn’t want to ruin the friendship!

If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?

cass would get a curious look, steph wouldn’t believe you!

What would their lives be like if they had never met?

they would be a lot worse, a lot lonelier. steph never would’ve become batgirl, that’s for sure, and cass would’ve learned to speak---but in a way entirely removed from her own personality and love of herself & life.

GENERAL

Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?

it was a mutual thing in ocean city, maryland. they were in a photo booth, sitting in eachother’s laps, leg over leg, they did a silly face, and then another silly face, and then their faces were so close---and then SMOOCH CITY, and they WOULD NOT LEAVE THE BOOTH lol.

Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?

they considered ocean city their first date. but they’re not really the ‘dating’ types. they both LOVE to fight. they both LOVE to crime fight. they both LOVE spending time together doing NOTHING. if anything, the first time cass had to go to a gala with her was the first time they realized---ugh, do we REALLY have to be WAYNES? do we really have to have REAL LIVES? why can’t we stay in our cuddle - asskicking bubble forever?

What was their first kiss like?

it was the most natural possible thing, and it was something they had both almost had so many times before that it was like drowning in sensation after you had subsisted off of gerbil-cage drips of water for years. they couldn’t stop! they were consumed with want, and they only stopped when they started to get a little TOO frisky and somebody moved the curtain of the booth because they wanted to get their own picture taken and they were like ‘fuck! okay lets get french fries!’ lol

Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?

steph is cass’s first gf, and vice versa.

What’s their height difference? Age difference?

cass is 5′7″ JUST tall enough to be taller than her gf >: )

What’s their relationship with each other’s families?

cass will kill the puzzler or whatever the fuck his name is. he sucks. steph’s mom loves her tho :’ ) and well. the less said about bruce and steph the better, but like. your whole blog is proof of how much the rest of the batfam loves steph!

Who takes the lead in social situations?

they both are the ‘HAHA! THE ECONOMY!’ gif tbh.

Who gets jealous easier?

cass. steph is special cargo, the first girl / person she ever loved romantically, the first friend she ever had. however, cass has made it very publically known she wants threesomes with other hotties of multiple genders.

Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear?

CASS CASS CASS.

LOVE

Who said “I love you” first?

steph, and she agonized over it, only for cass to say it so easily in a way cass didn’t think it would ever be easy for her to say. like steph is some magical fairy tale princess that lifts the curse on cass to never be able to express love the way love is supposed to be expressed. steph just makes things easy. she makes everything easy.

What are their primary love languages?

TOUCH. GAMES. QUALITY TIME. GIFTS.

Who uses cheesy pick-up lines?

they both do they’re TERRIBLE.

How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?

batgirl and the black bat are forced on seperate patrols bc they do this so much and they HATE it and SNEAK OUT and kiss ANYWAY!

Who initiates kisses?

cass!

Who’s the big and little spoon?

cass is big spoon!

What are their favorite things to do together?

they really like watching wrestling and kung fu movies together i think. steph also likes girly movies, but cass gets bored after a while and just starts wrestling with her over the popcorn and then wrestling leads to hankypanky. most of all they love fighting and dancing AND PLAYING PRANKS on the bat boys.

Who’s better at comforting the other?

cass is.

Who’s more protective?

CASS IS.

Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

physical affection.

What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

jenny - studio killers

What kind of nicknames do they call each other?

they both call each other batgirl affectionately, cass also learns new words to say girlfriend and sweetie all the time and uses those.

Who remembers the little things?

STEPH.

DOMESTIC LIFE

If they get married, who proposes?

they COMPETE to see who will do it first. they use the batcave to make sure the other isnt going to look for rings. and when they find the other one shopping for rings. its fucking GO-TIME BITCH. you’re not going to propose to me, i’m going to propose to you! when they pop out the boxes at the exact same time, cass steals the ring from steph’s hands and holds it up over her head and throws hers at steph’s head like ‘YOU HAVE TO MARRY ME FIRST. NO TAKEBACKSIES.’

What’s the wedding like? Who attends?

it’s a big wedding. cass loves, loves people. it’s a whos-who, especially since cass is gonna be batman and she has all the justice league contacts now. cass turns a bit into a bridezila, but like, as a joke, mostly, and she calms down when steph is like ‘i thought we could be more intimate...’ lol

How many kids do they have, if any? What are they like?

they adopt some bratty street kids that are tangentially related to joker / black mask / puzzler / lady shiva as a fuck you. they love their kids so much.

Do they have any pets?

so many cats. a million cats.

Who’s the stricter parent?

cass.

Who worries the most?

steph.

Who kills the bugs in the house?

cass.

How do they celebrate holidays?

they go to concerts!!!! big loud concerts where they can mosh!!!

Who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?

cass! no school! just cuddles!

Who’s the better cook?

steph. cass doesn’t know how to, and also refuses to, fry an egg.

Who likes to dance?

cass most of all!

#ooc: hc #ooc: replies #chaoticblondes

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snkpolls · 4 years

Text

SnK Episode 62 Poll Results (for Manga Readers)

The poll closed with 314 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that these are the results for the Manga Readers’ poll. If you wish to see the results for the Anime Only Watchers’ poll, click here.

RATE THE EPISODE 303 Responses

There was an interesting contrast this week between anime only viewers’ and manga readers’ reaction to the episode. Anime only viewers overwhelmingly felt positively about the episode. But for manga manga readers, many of the cuts in the anime dampened their enjoyment of the episode, and for some ruined it entirely. Still, overall, the episode got positive reception, even if it wasn’t overwhelmingly enthusiastic.

a little rushed but still very enjoyable. it defo got the point across about Reiner's struggles

It was... Fine. I'll give it a solid 8/10 on emotional value and finally seeing these chapters animated. But accepting that the anime and manga are not the same and that there will be cuts is hard.

Wasn't very good. The cut scenes really hurt the pacing and overall story.

i thought the pacing was way too fast :(

Stunning. Beautiful

Another great episode. My only criticisms are the music that was used at the beginning of the episode, which didn't really work, and the cuts but I understand why that had to happen.

Disappointing

Impeccable. The adaption was both efficient and emotionally effective. Zero misses so far - I'm officially a MAPPA ho.

Really great! Feels different from the manga and makes me excited for future episodes, because even if it's not perfect, we will always have the original material + some fun new scenes that the anime is adding, can't wait for more

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING MOMENTS WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 304 Responses

The much-anticipated scene where we learn amputee-kun is actually Eren was the most favored of the episode, with 37.5% of the vote. Following behind that with more narrow margins were the introduction to Marley’s titans, Annie and Reiner’s fight and Reiner’s suicide attempt.

The first part was very rushed and I wasn't as impressed by it. But I was very impressed by the second part of the episode once the warrior kids made it to paradise. I also very much enjoyed how they animated the scene of Annie taking out her anger on Reiner after Marcel's death. There was just something about the use of colours that really appealed to me.

The Reiner and Annie fight and Reiner's suicide disturbed me a lot more this time around, partially because I haven't read the chapters in a while, but this is easily one of my favorite episodes now.

WE GOT THE FULL ED LAST WEEK. AFTER SEEING IT IN ITS ENTIRETY, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT IT NOW? 294 Responses

The majority of the fandom are enjoying the new ending, with 65.6% loving both the song and the animation. 11.2% are enjoying the song… but not so much the animation. 11.9% feel that it’s “just okay.” Some are enjoying the animation, but not the song, and a few more dislike both.

The song and the animation are truly beautiful and gorgeous. I couldn't imagine better. It is always so peaceful after the full of emotions episode.

Beautiful song, although the bit with the streaks of shiny animation look like 480p and are a little boring.

I didn't see it

Bold of you to assume I watch the EDs and don't just skim ahead to the preview.

i'm not interested in the ending

There was a half ED?

ON A SCALE OF 1 TO 5, HOW MUCH DID YOU ENJOY THE SEQUENCE INTRODUCING ALL OF MARLEY’S TITANS? 303 Responses

A very tiny fraction of voters weren’t impressed with the way MAPPA executed the scene that introduces us to the Marley titans and why each warrior was picked for the titans they received. However, the majority of respondents felt very positively about the scene, with 221 even feeling they, too, will become a titan as a result of the awesomeness.

I really liked the marley titan montage but why the hell were the female titan's boobs so big? It looked so out of poportion

It was awesome and I loved the introduction to the Titans

OUT OF ALL THE TITANS THE MARLEY MILITARY HAD 9 YEARS AGO, WHICH ONE WOULD YOU WANT TO HAVE? 299 Responses

Whether it’s for practicality or aesthetic reasons, we all have different titans that appeal to us more than others. This race was a close one, with the Female Titan holding on just slightly over the Jaw Titan in terms of favoritism. The Armored Titan came in at a distant third with the Beast Titan and Colossal closely behind. Only a very small fraction would like to inherit the Cart Titan from Piku-chan.

WHICH OG WARRIOR CANDIDATE WOULD YOU WANT TO ADOPT? 299 Responses

Overall, the majority (29.1%) wouldn’t want to adopt any of the OG warrior crew, whether because the responsibility is too much or because they don’t like kids at all (or perhaps, a missing third option being they don’t like any of them). But for those who would happily take on one of the OG warrior kiddos, 24.1% would most like to take Reiner home (and probably give him lots of hugs). 21.1% adore little Pieck and would shower her with parental love forever. 9.7% probably want to pinch little Bertolt’s cheeks, and 8.4% wish they’d adopted Annie instead of her father.

A LOT OF THE SHIGANSHINA BREACH HAS REUSED WIT ANIMATION FROM PAST EPISODES - THOUGHTS? 303 Responses

The majority of respondents felt positively enough about seeing WIT’s S1 style mixed in with MAPPA’s, with 42.9% feeling it flowed together well enough, and 26.4% understanding why they didn’t reanimate the event (despite preferring it if they had). 11.2% don’t care at all, and 8.6% think it was way too jarring. There are some who are reminded that they miss WIT’s style, and others who have a continued appreciation for MAPPA.

KAJI YUKI HAS LOWERED HIS VOICE A BIT TO DEPICT AN OLDER EREN. THOUGHTS? 301 Responses

Overall, nearly everyone seems to be pleased with Kaji Yuki’s more “mature” sounding Eren, with 76.4% feeling he is portraying an older and more jaded Eren perfectly. 11.6% are lost in their lust for a 2D drawing and are focused entirely on that (we understand lol). A few are simply indifferent to the lower tone, and a smaller percentage just prefer Eren’s voice prior to the timeskip.

Anime onlys can spot him more difficult, which I like

Made sense to me, he’s not a teenager anymore after all, plus works better for this “new” Eren who’s less angry and shouty all the time.

I didn't even notice lol

Eren is adult so changing his voice was a very good choice. I like his new sound.

It was stupid that he ever talked so low before now. He was fifteen and he sounded like an adult, well they all do that bc it's standard anime shit but it makes it even harder when they become real adults.

NOW HE REALLY SOUNDS LIKE KENMA 🔥

WE’VE LOST COUNT OF HOW MANY TIMES WE’VE SEEN MARCEL GET EATEN. BUT OF THE OPTIONS BELOW, WHO DID IT BEST? 296 Responses

Seeing Marcel get eaten 2000 times seems to be a running gag at this point, so naturally we had to include this question. Whether it’s recency bias or objectively true, 44.6% feel that MAPPA’s take on Marcel’s death was the best. 30.4% feel that Isayama’s more recent art style truly does Marcel the most justice. 14.2% liked the way WIT Studio portrayed the scene and 10.8% like Isayama’s older, more grungy art style.

RIP Marcel

DO YOU THINK THAT REINER WAS CORRECT, THAT MARLEY WOULD HAVE HAD ALL OF RBA EATEN IF THEY HAD FOUND YMIR AND RETURNED HOME IMMEDIATELY? 292 Responses

In the hypothetical scenario that Reiner hadn’t convinced Annie and Bertolt to stay on the island, the majority feel that Reiner was wrong in his assessment that they would be executed practically on-site. 55.1% believe that the idea would have been out in the open, but ultimately rejected. Though, 35.6% feel that Marley is too ruthless and uncaring toward Eldians to care what the situation is, and would absolutely hand over their titans to others deemed more capable. Very few felt Marley would be understanding by default. Many write-ins feel that Reiner is the only one who would have been executed for the failure.

Depends on if B/A emphasize that it was Reiner’s fault rather than their own.

If all of RBA got eaten then I think they wouldn’t use kids for their next attempt. Maybe teens around the age RBA were after training in Paradis military

Magath would have pointed out how wasteful it would have been, but probably even him couldn't have saved reiner

He was wrong. What would be the point of feeding them to other children, if they were the best candidates? Too much of work.

Reiner said that there's a possibility that they couldn't find Ymir even if they try. He has a point. But I don't think Marley would have RBA eaten even if they lose Jaw.

They wouldn't go through with it because they seem to lack other qualified warrior candidates.

I think Magath and maybe Zeke would have tried to convince the government to not go through with it and that Reiner might have been the only one sacrificed.

Obviously. They would have indisputable proof that sending a bunch of kids to carry out a massively important mission is the dumbest shit they could have ever done and immediately they'd put the titans into older soldiers.

They'd let them live a few more years just for propaganda and used them for other battles, then they'd have them killed around their midterm.

Possibly, but they put a lot of time, effort, and money into training their warriors. It would be a big decision to execute all of them and start over. Maybe they would have executed Reiner as an example.

WHAT’S THE FORECAST FOR TONIGHT? 295 Responses

In our least-serious question of the poll, we asked you guys to try and predict the weather based on Bertolt’s sleeping pose. 18.3% believe his legs-on-the-wall pose means clear skies, 13.9% are certain it means rain. 13.6% are confident in an overcast night. At 11.5% foresee storms coming and 11.2% think it’s gonna be snow. 18% are probably just annoyed with the question. A few write-ins pointed out that Bertolt was, indeed, sleeping in the Hanged Man Pose.

It’s gonna be partly guilt ridden old man with a 90% chance of suicide by hanging

Blood and guts

HOW IS THAT EVEN COMFORTABLE?

Let's just call it hail

Hanged man posture, dreamed about the old man

raining titans

No one can make me like the warriors even if I don't blame them for what they were forced to do as kids. idc what quirky habits they have.

There'll be clear skies for some time but don't be deceived, heavy rain is incoming

This was amazing because it's a reference to The Hanging Man on Tarot cards: he's willingly being hanged for his sins. Look it up, it's so cool.

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT MAPPA CUTTING A GOOD CHUNK OF REINER’S TRAINING? 302 Responses

With only 20(ish) minutes to fit in all of Reiner’s backstory, cuts were inevitable. MAPPA made the decision to nerf most of Reiner’s struggles training as a Warrior Cadet (among a couple other more lengthy scenes during and after the wall breach). 62.9% are sad that some of these scenes didn’t make the cut, but also understand that we can’t have it all. 13.2% actually preferred seeing Reiner’s backstory in MAPPA’s condensed version, while 12.9% feel it completely ruins the characterization of the warriors.

I don't even remember what was cut 😂

Slightly ruined the warriors’ characterisations (especially Reiner’s)

I thought they could have shown a bit more about Reiner's underdog, it's something that really made me sympathise with him in the manga.

Kinda disappointed, since some scenes were essential for a little background on their lives

Honestly, even after all the cuts and the restrains it tells the story of a "warrior", Reiner.

Mappa fucked RBA backstory and I would bet it's because they are biased towards Eren and 104th...

I wouldn't say it ruined their characterisation, but it did leave it a lot more shallow. I would've loved to see those scenes animated, but I also realise that things will have to be cut to fit everything in, and I think these cuts still preserve the forward momentum of the story reasonably well.

The important scenes were animated, so it's good that way

MAPPA cannot animate every panel and the best will be, if fandom finally understands that. Every episode has limited amount of time and MAPPA is doing everything they can to make episodes good and easy to understand for anime onlies. I was fine with cutting because I know that episodes aren't long and there are more important stuff to animate than every part of training.

WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT NOT SEEING ANNIE PARTICIPATING IN THE FIRST WALL BREACH? 298 Responses

MAPPA completely glossed over Annie’s role in the wall breach, showing her being choked by Reiner and then waking up in the refugee camp later. 40.9% state they would have preferred seeing Annie play her part in the mission, though they accept that it isn’t there. 34.6% are concerned that those who don’t read the manga will just be confused as to where Annie was during all of the chaos (Oh no! Did RB leave her passed out in the fields!?). 16.1% are simply just disappointed altogether. A small fraction felt it wasn’t necessary anyway and have no problems with the cut.

I feel kinda iffy about it because that was one of my favorite parts of the chapter, but oh well... it is what it is.

Kenny's scene should be eliminated.

I mean it's not like the female titan could destroy the walls herself. I think nobody expects it and then her absence makes sense

Yams did an oopsie in the first place retconing

It really confused me lol for a moment I completely forgot what she even did in the manga and had to reread

KNOWING NOW THAT ANNIE IS ACTUALLY ADOPTED, DOES THE JOKE ABOUT HER BEING KENNY’S LOST DAUGHTER HIT DIFFERENTLY NOW? 299 Responses

We learn after Annie comes out of the crystal that her father is actually an adoptive parent. Annie, in an attempt to cover up why she’s stalking Kenny in the underground, claims (or jokes) that she was born to a brothel worker and is Kenny’s lost daughter. We asked if this made the joke any less funny to readers, though most of them didn’t think so at all. Only 14% of respondents say the new knowledge actually makes it a little sad. Some people forgot entirely that Annie is adopted and voiced their confusion in the write-ins.

wait,,,,, she.,,,, she's adopted ??? wha- how did i completely forget about this

Kenny's gay anyway so it's impossible! Sorry, Annie :/

I don't really get this joke tbh 😅 Do people think she and Kenny look alike?

We're all Kenny's lost daughter

It just brings into question her true parentage, like how she can scream summon other Titans and if that’s a royal blood thing or not. But probably doesn’t matter since it hasn’t come up in the manga yet

I hadn't thought about it before today.

She's adopted?!?

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT MAPPA’S EXECUTION OF REINER’S ATTEMPTED SUICIDE? 302 Responses

With such a weighty scene, execution is of utmost importance. So we were curious if you guys felt that MAPPA hit the mark. Overall, MAPPA’s take on this scene got positive responses from the fandom, with 42.4% feeling they felt about the same as they did when the scene came up in the manga. 26.5% actually thought that MAPPA did a better job with the scene, whereas 26.2% felt that Isayama’s original take on the scene is still superior.

I think that while the manga's intent is for the reader to feel Reiner's pain and emotions during what he thought were his last moments, the anime focuses much more on making it disturbing and depressing (both taking into account the same things, just choosing to highlight different aspects of the scene). Not a bad change but I prefer the manga's portayal, it made me feel so much more attached to Reiner

Actual scene was good, but the build up was lacking.

I really liked the flipping back and forth

Not nearly as emotional as I expected

The lighting was so good in the anime version.

Bruh we needed the flashbacks cause they depicted Reiner's journey and regrets

I think it was more impactful in the manga, but MAPPA did it amazing too

The scene looked more serious but the building of the characters didn't live up for the moment.

It impacted me differently than in the manga. I prefer the manga scene, but the anime's was still really good

I was worried about it being overly censored so I’m glad it wasn’t

The execution was about the same, but it had a bigger impact when you read it for the first time

The drool was a great touch

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING CUTS WERE YOU DISAPPOINTED DIDN’T MAKE THE EPISODE? 292 Responses

While we shouldn’t dwell on cuts too much, there will still be things that people are disappointed didn’t make it into the anime. The scenes which were most missed this week were Annie’s role in the wall breach, Reiner passing along a tired Annie over to Bertolt atop the wall, RBA discussing their infiltration plans in the field (also known as the tree-uprooting scene), seeing Bertolt, Annie and Marcel surpassing Reiner in their training, and Reiner breaking up Eren and Jean’s fight (noticing Annie is exhausted). Well, at least the manga still exists, right?

I wish they didnt cut some of the flashbacks right before Reiner tried to kill himself.

Really great episode, but Bertholdt looking up at the wall before breaking it was such an iconic panel, I'm a bit sad

Any cuts are a negative. I dont care how much it makes sense for the anime onlies, I just wish they somehow incorporate some of the small slice of life scenes that made the Marley arc special.

Truly loved it despite cuts and pacing, but just wish we could’ve seen that tree uprooting scene!

I still hold the sentiment that Mappa is cutting way too much from these episodes. The amount of small details getting cut from every chapter/episode results in losing out on smaller moments that in my opinion have a real impact. While I understand a 1 to 1 replica might not be possible, the amount of cuts is too much imo. Missing out on nearly all of RBA assaulting Shiganshina was a huge disappointment, and less Falco and Gabi scenes makes it tough for me to connect to them. Talking to my Anime-only friends though, they are very into this season, so I'm glad to hear it works for them.

I'm not necessarily sad they cut so much, I feel like as an Anime only I wouldn't have noticed! The only thing I wish that had been kept was Annie's involvement in the destruction of wall Maria.

I was sad they cut stuff but that’s inevitable. The only cut I’m sad about is the scene before Bertholdt breaks the wall.

some of the cuts made sense, some made other scenes kind of occur out of nowhere, like annie with kenny.

SO FAR, WE’VE LOST A FEW INTERACTIONS BETWEEN FALCO AND GABI AND SOME MOMENTS WHERE FALCO IS BLUSHING OVER HER. DO YOU THINK THIS WILL LESSEN THE IMPACT OF HIS EVENTUAL LOVE CONFESSION TO HER? 296 Responses

While the Falbi romance isn’t a major focal point of the series, it does play a big part in their storyline and overall character development as their involvement in the plot increases. MAPPA has had to let a few scenes go, so we were curious if manga readers felt it would lessen the impact of Falco’s inevitable confession just before the rumbling starts. 31.4% feel that the anime is doing just fine at portraying Falco’s feelings. 28.4% feel the impact will be lessened, but that it’s fine due to it being a minor plot point anyway. 14.5% are upset about the missing pieces and 11.8% think MAPPA will make up for it later. Smaller groups of voters either don’t understand why Falco likes Gabi or just don’t care.

I'm more dissapointed about Zofia and Udo getting cut than those two.

Kid romance is lame anyway

It's not gonna hit like the manga but it's still pretty important plot imo

What works on paper doesn't always work animated, they're doing ok

I hate gabi gahh

It is obvious he likes her anyway

Not really, they've established he has a big crush on her since he pretty much came out and told it to Eren

DO YOU THINK MAPPA DID A GOOD JOB OF HIDING EREN IN PLAIN SIGHT? 297 Responses

We failed to ask this question last week, but it still applied well to this week’s episode. When it came to anime only fans, we wondered whether manga readers felt MAPPA did a good job at making him as mysterious to anime watchers as Isayama did to us manga readers. 40.1% felt that MAPPA did a great job, as many anime watchers didn’t seem to catch on. 25.6% feel that they didn’t do any worse or better than Isayama did. 13.8% feel MAPPA did not do as well as Isayama, as some anime watchers easily caught on. 9.4% think they did completely awful at pretending it’s not Eren. Some write-ins felt we couldn’t objectively judge this as we already knew it was Eren anyway.

I think the voice gave it away the most. The sneaky animation was great!

Hard to answer because chapters were a month apart while episodes are weekly and I’ve already read the manga when it came out

well, I can't say much about this. since I know he is eren, I was just focusing on how Kaji Yuki will handle this important speech

They even didn't try to hide him. I'm disappointed because I wanted anime onlines to feel what we - manga readers - felt, when after few chapters we found that the hobo man was Eren.

I honestly didn't even realize he was supposed to be hidden from the readers/viewers at this point. It was so obviously him in the manga and the anime. Genuinely confused by how many people did not catch on.

Watching some reactors they were like "...wait...that *looks* like Eren...but his leg is amputated...his leg would've grown back??" but as soon as you heard his voice it was instantaneous

I, being a manga reader, had a hard time getting how you couldn't see that it was Eren, but some of my friend only got it at the last scene.

Hard to say. WIth the manga, it took me a few reads to catch on, but now that I KNOW, it's hard to say anything.

Yes, I'm watching the episodes with my anime-only friend and he still hasn't figured it out

I think they did a good job, but with anime being the medium it was easier to guess due to both hair/eye color and voice.

It was nice, I was actually surprised that some of my anime only friends didn't even realize that it was Eren talking to Falco this episode

When Eren was finally revealed in the manga, I was *shocked! I had *no clue that was him! I think the anime did a great job, but of course had to reveal him sooner. It was perfect both in manga and anime imo.

It's obviously him once you see his eyes, but I don't think that the animation team were trying to make it a big shock reveal, they want this scene to say "this is probably Eren, but can you be 100% sure" to keep anime onlys engaged and reassure them that the main cast is still relevant.

Yes, but the manga hid him better, it took me way too long to realise it was him while reading

HOW WAS KAJI YUKI’S DELIVERY ON EREN’S SPEECH TO FALCO? 299 Responses

The vast majority of respondents were very pleased with Kaji Yuji’s delivery on one of Eren’s most prominent speeches. 38.1% felt it was exactly as they had hoped it would be. 28.1% were extremely happy, and feel that any delivery by Kaji Yuki as Eren will be 100% spot-on. 24.7% are simply just content with it. Smaller fragments of respondents just wanted to voice their thirst, or felt that the delivery could have been better.

Better than I could have ever imagined

I don't really care

Eren is the best main character ever

Not my native language so I can't really tell how good it is, but Kaji's delivery seemed about right

It was a bit fast but good

Very good. You get a real sense of how clueless but trying to be tough Eren really is.

EREN TELLS FALCO HE HOPES FALCO LIVES A LONG LIFE. KNOWING WHAT WE DO NOW, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT HIM SAYING THIS? 298 Responses

Eren already knows he will bring destruction upon the world, so it’s a wonder why he would bother telling Falco he hopes Falco will have a long life. 64.8% believe that he truly means it from the bottom of his heart, despite knowing his future actions will likely affect Falco. 10.7% believe he said this because he has already seen that Falco will survive the Rumbling. 10.1% aren’t really sure what to make of it at all. Smaller numbers of people think Eren was only trying to gain Falco’s trust and didn’t mean it at all, or believe that Falco will take part in Eren’s eventual demise and Eren is already aware of that.

He saw him in his memories so imma believe what he says

I'm sure there is part of Eren that hopes for a good long life for Falco. Just like there was part of him that couldn't help but save the refugee kid. But that doesn't mean he isn't any less dedicated to his plan to genocide a whole lot of people. He has his conflicts, but in the end he's still going ahead with the attack on the square and later with the rumbling.

I think it's the same deal as him saving the immigrant kid when he knew that he would die in the rumbling.

In an ideal world Eren would want *everyone* to live a long life--he's been portrayed as someone who cries and disassociates while he commits his genocide so we're meant to understand he doesn't enjoy it. Sadly it doesn't matter what he hopes or wants when he's decided murdering everyone is what has to be done..

THE PREVIEW SHOWED PIECK AND PORCO NEXT TO REINER AT THE DAYTIME FESTIVAL. THIS WAS NOT IN THE MANGA. WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS MEANS ABOUT POSSIBLE ANIME-ONLY ADDITIONS? 298 Responses

Many of our respondents seem to be looking forward to Pieck and Porco’s inclusion in the daytime festival. 47% are hopeful that this will mean some wholesome bonding scenes between the Warriors and the kids. 26.5% don’t know what to make of it, but are looking forward to it nonetheless. A handful of people think it will be similar to how WIT included Sasha in the Clash arc - adding minor details without changing anything in the story-line. 7% wish that MAPPA wasn’t doing this at all, and 5% are hopeful this means that MAPPA will find a way to repurpose Pieck crawling on all fours next episode.

I still want Pieck butt

IN THAT SAME VEIN, IT SEEMS LIKE EPISODE 4 WILL ADAPT CHAPTERS 97 AND 98, ENDING ON THE FINAL PANEL OF 98. HOWEVER, THE VAST MAJORITY OF CHAPTER 97 WAS ALREADY ADAPTED IN LAST WEEK’S EPISODE. WHAT WILL THIS MEAN FOR EPISODE 4? 293 Responses

Who wants to place bets on the contents of next episode? While the largest chunk of people don’t know what to expect in episode 4, others are happy to speculate. 19.8% feel (or are at least hopeful) that MAPPA will fill in some screen time by repurposing already-skipped scenes. 19.1% feel that there will be minor additions, but not too much. A solid 16% feel that there will be a few anime only additions during the daytime festival. 10.9% are placing bets that episode 4 will actually bleed into chapter 100 before the end.

Mappa won't have to cut a lot of stuff like they did to ep 3

The title "From One Hand to Another" immediately made me think we would actually be getting Eren grasping Reiner's hand and transforming at the end (meaning chapters 100 and 101), but that's just so much. The title may just refer to Magath and Willy's handshake.

What about just enjoying the show?

WHICH SCENE FROM THE PREVIEW ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO? 298 Responses

As expected of the fandom! Reiner and Eren’s reunion is the most anticipated scene for episode 4, with 74.8% having voted for that. 17.1% are most looking forward to the daytime festival, and 6% are excited to meet Willy in anime form for the first time. One commenter is very invested in the banquet and how it’s executed.

Not this ep but if they cut the Udo and Kiyomi scene I'll RIOT!

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

I'm upset so much was cut from Reiner's backstory but the cinematography is freakin' excellent I can't even complain

*cheers MAPPA animators for their hard work* ... Perfect for anime onlies, I think. Made me almost wish I hadn't read the manga so I wouldn't have missed the cut scenes.

Cuts aside, the animation was much better than the previous episodes.

"The one scene I really wanted was Bertholdt looking over the wall and seeing the EMA trio. Of all the cuts, I think that was the only one that was damaging to the story. I also kind of wish that MAPPA animated the reused scenes. I kind of like comparing and contrasting the animation styles of both studios so its a bit of shame that we didn't get anything new from Episode 1.

I'm really impressed with how much MAPPA is managing to squeeze in each episode and I'm content that Reiner's flashback was covered in a single episode rather than two. It just makes sense pacing-wise. The only real criticism I have is that in the flashback scenes where everyone is supposed to be 12 years old, they don't sound 12 at all. Their voices are way too mature, especially the males, and I understand they're voiced by adults, but I feel like they could have at least tried to sound more like kids. Other than that, great episode.

Elaborating on the missing content: they really shouldn’t have cut Annie’s transformation prior to wall Maria being breached. It makes it look like Reiner choked her out and then a minute later bert was kicking the wall through.

I'm in the boat, where i think it wouldve been better if Mappa didnt cut out so much, but considering what there is to cover, we will live,but i hope they dont end up butchering everything Also the bit with reiner’s dad would be confusing to anime-onlies since it cross-cuts between that scene and him on the parade. I’ve seen some reactors think it was a daydream, or that he left during the parade.

It was quite rushed, but I understand why they did it, the flashback wouldn't have been as impactful over 2 episodes, and I do think when the Marley arc was first introduced in the manga, manga readers were quite inpatient to get back to the main cast, so they might be feeding off that feedback.

Mappa has become my favorite studio of all time. Not just in regards to anime, but studios in general. Their discography is on another level (imo) and the fact that on top of every other masterpiece they’ve made, they’re doing an outstanding job with my favorite series of all time just solidifies them as the first and probably the only anime studio that I can truly Stan.

Lots of (I think) Important stuff cut, but the meat is still in place. I like my meat to be juicy and marbled, while Mappa cut out all the fat that makes for a flavorful meal. I completely understand why and I am apathetic about it.

disliked the fact the wall breach was so quickly glossed over, and the transition between mappa and wit style was jarring to say the least

Regardless of the cuts, i think it flows together nicely. The anime has always been more speedy than the manga so i kind of expected this. I don't think it'll get as bad as s3 part 1 in terms of pacing. I trust in Mappa, so far i haven't been disappointed at all. The animation and backgrounds are absolutely stunning. That warrior titan sequence was incredibly well done. Props to the animators!

It was a bit confusing mishmash of scenes, but there were some good moments sprinkled in like the introduction of all of Marley's titans. The emotional reactions, however, just weren't the same as they were when reading the manga, to be honest.

I’m really glad they cut the part with RBA hanging onto Female/Armoured neck by a rope. That whole thing seemed stupid to me. Doesn’t match up with previous chapters and I feel like SOMEONE would have noticed two kids hanging onto the Armoured Titan’s neck.

I think MAPPA is doing a really good job so far, can't wait to see the battle in Liberio. I'm not bothered at all with the CG titans because firstly, they look really good, and secondly, I understand why they had to do it. I also hope they don't censor many things or cut out some dark scenes that are important to the season because I would love to see everything animated.

Felt like watching a recap episode... And it wasn't supposed to be one, so

I'm really dissapointed that mappa cut so many things from manga. Reiner's backstory is my favoure part of snk. Suicide scene completly lacks impact.

I really dislike the fact that MAPPA is trying to show only bad side of the marleyan officers. They removed the gate guards, they removed the scene where Magath is telling RBA to stay safe (on Paradis). One of the best parts of the manga is showing that the both races (Eldians and Marleyans) have good and bad sides. By removing positive aspects of Marleyans MAPPA is creating totally different picture. This way the anime onlines may find the whole rumbling even more justified. The episode was pretty good and the OST has made some scenes to feel more dark and serious (especially the moment where the new titans are introduced), but sometimes I feel like the characters are speaking and acting way too fast. I was waiting for the scene with Kenny and Annie, but it took only like few second and was cut. I love MAPPA's version of Kenny. He has more serious aura and looks more like his manga counterpart. In other words; wrinkled grandpa with skinny neck :)

It honestly wasn’t my favorite, but I still loved it. I feel as though they skipped around a lot and there wasn’t a lot of scenes that actually tied together and I’m worried anime only watchers might get confused. Definitely some of the stuff I wanted to see animated didn’t make the cut, but I still love the animation style, the characters and the story!

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 285 Responses

Thank you to everyone who participated! We’ll see you again next episode.

#snk poll #snk polls #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #snk #aot #snk spoilers #snk s4

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musical-chick-13 · 4 years

Note

And Theon bc I love him

WHAT A COINCIDENCE I LOVE HIM TOO (this answer is gonna be a combination of books and show)

Send me a character and I’ll tell you the following:

• Did they live up to their potential? / In what ways was their potential unachieved?

-I would say yes. The only negative I have about his general arc is his death (which, see below). But Theon from the very beginning was, though not a particularly nice person, still relatable. Feeling othered, wanting to be accepted by an immediate environment that doesn’t accept you, isolated from and ostracized by your family, and the tension that comes between serving the different types of familial relationships in your life. Theon has no idea who he is, tossed aside by his blood family for not growing up with them and being “soft,” aka sort-of moral and having emotions that aren’t selfish rage or smugness (which, yep, that second part is a mood, see: my entire childhood and how no one wanted to be around an “emotional” “soft” child). And from there, he spirals out of control in a way that, while certainly not admirable by any stretch of the imagination, is still understandable in the context of the narrative and his characterization. And from there, after going through hell and quite literally losing himself (even to the point of straight-up denying rescue), he builds himself back up gradually, to the point where he expressed extreme regret for what he’s done, helps an innocent woman escape a truly horrifying situation, acknowledges that his family is generally garbage, and (in-show b/c again books aren’t finished), helping to restore his sister to power, rescuing her after his PTSD relapses while confronting Euron, and ultimately opting to protect the Starks come hell or high water in order to genuinely atone for what he’s done. He is no longer conflicted because he wants to do the right thing, and that right thing is defending the kingdom from the White Walkers and making sure Sansa and Bran are safe. And it’s no longer about fulfilling a duty or finding a family to fill the void. Because now he has found himself. I will contend that Theon has one of the best, most nuanced, most organic redemption arcs of all time. I will forever be grateful that I got to see that piece of storytelling unfold.

Although, I would love to know what he thought of Dany. A missed opportunity, that.

• How they negatively and positively affected the story.

-Positive: His arc of identity and finding where your loyalties lie ties into the overall theme of “How do you find yourself in a world where goodness, authenticity, and honesty are often punished and increasingly rare?” And it proves that governmental politics aren’t the only defining factors in decisions: familial politics can be just as difficult and dangerous, which adds yet another rich, complicated layer to the overall story. He has a genuine, honest-to-Drowned-God redemption arc, which is...not really present anywhere else in the story (no, Jaime is not on a Redemption Quest, I will die on this hill). But I think the biggest draw of Theon’s presence is that it deconstructs the whole “Character Revenge Fantasy” idea. He does bad things. We want him to be punished. But not like that. No one deserves that. How far is too far? What does retribution really look like? Given how easily that idea can be abused and go off the rails, is retribution even something to strive for? What is the point of using extreme violence/torture/mutilation/breaking someone’s psyche when it doesn’t really accomplish anything? Isn’t atonement and genuine justice a better option? It certainly was for Theon. He could only piece himself back together and do anything meaningful once he was out of his abusive environment. All of these are imporant questions that are posed by his existence in the narrative.

-Negative: Idk if I have much to say here. My biggest problem is his death (see below), but that’s not really a negative story effect so much as...being disappointing and narratively irrelevant. I gotta say, his introduction via his sister was...really weird. I genuinely have no idea why GRRM wrote that. It never came up again or had any kind of narrative ramifications and kind of cast a strange, uncomfortable light on his relationship with Asha/Yara for the remainder of the story. I can ignore and enjoy their later relationship it if I don’t think about it too hard, though, so I guess I’ll chalk it up to GRRM having a Bad Idea.

• What my favorite arc for them is.

-All of it?? Theon’s journey is kind of...one big arc, which is why I think it works so well. He has this overarching redemption plot which spans the entire series and informs every decision he makes (for good or for bad, depending on where in the aforementioned journey he is). The redemption arc isn’t bogged down with side plots or other pieces of narrative clutter, meaning it has time to grow and, thus, be gradual and realistic. If I had to choose a specific point, it’s probably when he tries to reintegrate back into society via supporting Yara. Gaining the Iron Islands’ support for her ruling, spiriting away with Euron’s fleet, and ultimately rescuing his sister after her capture. He can’t just go back into society. He’s scared. He has really bad PTSD. But he recognizes that putting his home in good hands is something bigger than just him because it’s Yara’s home, too. I just...I really love family relationships, y’all.

• What I think of their ending.

-I’m not really sure how I feel about this one. I get that the series is GrimDark™ and that people who make the right choice and fight for good die all the time, but Theon dying just felt...wrong. To me.

And, like...I get it. It makes sense to parallel his original descent into villainy (cemented by executing those two boys and pretending they were Bran and Rickon) with him dying to protect Bran himself. It ties into the whole very common trope of completing a full redemption arc by committing a completely selfless act at great personal cost. It’s kind of like the whole Missy thing in Doctor Who (which...hoo boy, that post is coming, make no mistake), where selfishness is directly opposed by making the ultimate sacrifice with no motivation for personal gain. And the fact that the last words he ever heard were “You’re a good man?” I cannot even begin to describe how much that makes me sob. But...honestly, I’m really tired of this idea that redemption has to end in death in order to be achieved or “complete.” I think it’s much more poignant to have a redeemed character live to help build a better world. Because what’s the point of telling people to be better if the “reward” is death? No one’s going to want to reform themselves if they think that’ll be the result.

I think the thing that Bugs Me™ the most is that Theon never really got to have a moment of peace when he was alive. Sansa gained the North’s love and at least had a secure childhood. Ned and Cat were happily married for years. Arya had parents who loved her and a good relationship with Jon. Jon fell in love with Ygritte and found his Night Watch Bros, and Robb (in show verse) had some very happy moments with Talisa. Davos put great stock in what he considered fulfilling friendships with Stannis and Shireen; Brienne was treated respectfully by Renly, Catelyn, and Sansa; Missandei and Grey Worm had each other and their friendship with Dany, who herself had many personal successes in her quest for the Iron Throne and saw the death of her abusive brother. Cersei even had moments with Jaime (who himself had several notable military victories and at least some time with Myrcella, as well as being gladly and deeply in love, however dysfunctional that love was), times when she successfully fought off enemies (including her dad), and some sweet moments with Tommen, as well as a huge victory via blown-up sept at the end of season 6. Theon was treated as a second-class family member by the Starks his whole life by being “traded” to them as a condition of war resolution AS A BABY, is immediately disparaged and mistreated by his immediate family when he tries to return to them, makes terrible decisions that almost cost him his conscience completely, is brutally tortured by Ramsay, is on the run with his sister from Euron almost immediately after, and has a PTSD attack that ultimatly results in him having to launch a rescue mission. And then he fights ice zombies. And then he dies. He never really...got to be happy at all? There was never any kind of “win” for him. Not even survival. The narrative couldn’t even give him that.

TLDR: Theon’s death seemed less shock-value-y than others (like, for example, Shireen or Missandei or, heck, Melisandre even), and it isn’t the worst thing I’ve ever seen. It’s narratively-informed and it makes sense as an emotional through-line, but, ultimately, Redemption Cemented By Selfless Death is a tired trope, and I honestly thought this story (which...you know...serves as a deconstruction of common fantasy tropes/book tropes in general) was better than that.

• When I wish they had died. / If I think they should’ve died.

-So here’s where we get personal™ kids.

So, it’s no secret that I am...severely mentally ill. I’ve talked about expression/presentation of mental illness in regard to Cersei a lot on this blog, and how that (as paradoxical as it may seem) helped bring a sense of comfort and emotional resonance to me. Theon, post-Ramsay, has, I think, a very clear case of PTSD. Theon is one of the few characters I’ve seen where his mental illness isn’t the cause of the bad, violent, dangerous choices he makes. It only takes root after he has made the decision and conscious effort to better himself, and it, rather than demonizing him, serve to humanize him. His trauma didn’t define him. And although a PTSD attack led to him unintentionally losing Yara to Euron’s capture, he makes every effort to rescue her, a goal he does end up achieving. It is so rare I get to see a character who goes through these things, successfully fight them and come out with positive qualities at the end. Like...switching topics a bit here, Jaime going back to King’s Landing to (try to) escape and ultimately die with Cersei made sense to me because, as Jaime says, he is a hateful man. He never made much of an honest effort to be anything else. And he never truly wanted to be good; he just wanted to be liked. He wanted to adopt some personality that would make him feel less disconnected from the rest of the world. But Theon...genuinely feels remorse for everything he’s done. He makes a concerted effort to do everything in his power to improve the lives of people he believes are good and deserve to be safe. So, just...killing him off in a Completely Selfless Sacrifice (like...you know how a lot of mentally ill people put themselves through suffering-like OCD rituals, bottling feelings, self-harm, even suicide-in a misplaced attempt to “help” or “protect other people”) seemed antithetical to everything we saw of his arc.

Ultimately, with such a humanizing, empathetic portrayal of trauma and mental health struggles, seeing Theon be killed off just...pissed me off. I am so tired of seeing mentally ill characters die. I really want to believe that I can live through and thrive in spite of the things that afflict me, and I get example after example of characters not being allowed to do that. It feels awful, quite frankly. And it makes hope that much harder.

I also just feel like...there was nothing the story gained from his death? I get the thematic parallels as mentioned earlier, but it didn’t really move the story forward in any significant way. It didn’t motivate other characters to do anything, it had no political ramifications, it didn’t serve to contribute to any kind of happy ending or commentary on society, it just...was sad. Again, I thought this story was better than that.

#theon greyjoy #got #my son #mental illness in media #meta #redemption arcs #tw: self harm mention #tw: suicide mention

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alias-b · 4 years

Text

Nothing Lasts Forever.

Summary. The town of Derry changes people. Sends them running away. What it draws in is arguably worse. Humans create the hate and evil monsters come to feed off of. Eleanor Baker knew that well at a young age when she stumbled upon a painted figure in the distance. Pennywise never forgot the girl without fear. It’s possible that they haunted each other.

AN: I take no responsibility for this. Me flexing some horror and hopelessness bc I have nothing left to lose here. Wrote this to work through some things and sorta in love with it. TW: Should be obvious. Trauma. CSA mention. Abuse. S*xual references. G*re. S*icidal thoughts. Death. Pennywise F*cks and it’s canon. Sorry, Mr. King.

Pennywise x OC Eleanor Baker ~ Also on my ao3

They say she saw It first.

They say she smelled the circus. Sugary sweet and the rusting of metal.

They say she heard the bells toll soft. Once. Twice for her.

They say she felt no fear.

A branch cracked under pristine shoes, distracting a clown in the midst of hunt. The prey; small and blue eyed, barely five years old, ran into safe arms where their family set up camp for a weekend by the lake.

Body twisting around, It saw her last. Six years old. Curious green eyes shimmered even under grey skies. Pigtails. Feet behind her, father was hunched over to change a tire with mother beckoning from the window. Pulled over to the side of the road near a Derry forest. The Baker family. Well known and beloved because they had money.

“Eleanor. You’ll ruin your new shoes. We can’t be late for your recital. It’s going to rain!” Mother’s voice went under heard. Leaves rustled while the clown made a path to slink toward her. Her lips parted, eyes fixated and unblinking. Yellow eyes faded to baby blue like the pretty jewels her mother wore. Safe.

They were face to face. Drool dripped to hit her once untouched shoes. Those bejeweled eyes surged from that delicate blue back to a hungry orange, glowing brighter and yet he smelled nothing.

She had no scent. No fear. A deep, wide nothing. Vast as the ocean could reach. There was no advancing, no will to bring forth the deadlights. She’d probably think they were pretty stars watching over her. Cinderella wishing for a fairy godmother and a prince to whisk her away. He could only watch her make an utter fool of him. Somehow that charmed.

“Eleanor, now!” Came the shout from her father. A drop of red emerged from the trees. Shiny and terrible. “Where did you get that?”

A red balloon skimmed against the breeze.

“From the clown.” She said, getting into the car. “He gave it to me.”

“Enough playing around, Nell.” Father pressed her inside. The grip was lost along the tangled string. That spot of blood floated up toward the endless sky. Became a floating star too. She wished to float with it.

Eleanor danced her little heart out. Prima Ballerina in the making. Perfection was not everything, it was the only thing. She gazed into the audience beyond the balmy stage lights. Rows and rows of orange eyes. Glowing into her. No fear to be cast. Not for any of them. This world didn’t deserve it.

She saw It again that same week. When they attended a big family reunion. Picnic and all. And her uncle pulled her into the closet full of coats and old board games that were gathering dust. He called this a game too. A secret game.

After he’d decided the game was over, a pang snatched his heart to squeeze. Gushing. Eleanor saw those glowing eyes from the shadows. Thought for a moment it was the old cat who roamed the grounds.

Her uncle asked for help with no breaths left. Tore her frilly dress clutching at her. Hit the hardwood with a finishing crack. Blood pooled.

Nell didn’t want it to stain her shoes or Mother would be upset.

That white face bent down toward her. Spine curving to push out against skin. Utterly inhuman.

“Can you smell the circus, Nelly?” Painted lips full of clustering teeth rumbled. She blinked. White cheeks threatened to tear open with the grin curling.

“Yes.”

Little, pretty bells chimed in the ruffles of his garment as he laughed. Soft and sweeter than any sound in this world.

"Who are you?"

"Pennywise. The dancing clown." He caught her looking at the body behind his feet.

Big eyes full and empty.

“Oh, don’t worry about him, he won’t float.” The clown paused. “You’re a little wonder, aren’t you?”

She said nothing to that.

“Go on, grow and see if the world devours you. Tumble back to the weeds where I'll find you again.” His own curiosity was a growing sickness. This fragile human. Unbreakable.

The thing about Pennywise was he never considered himself the villain. He only came to feed when that evil and hatred humans brought this world was potent. Natural order. Clockwork. Wolves feed on sheep. The worlds spun on.

Predators tore into prey, he wouldn’t apologize for that. He didn’t create the hatred, just fed from it. Didn't stop it either. Little dash of fear did a body good. Gave it a sweeter taste.

Fear was painfully human. A trait that tore us open to display the soft underbelly because it betrayed us down to the core. Granted us something to overcome. A test of endurance. Truly let our true colors pour fresh and obscene. Beautiful. Even when it overcame.

Pennywise gave her head a pat, leaned down to whisper into her ear.

“I see into your blackest heart of hearts, Nelly, deep down you’ll know. You'll always know.”

The door opened. Tiny footsteps away from the dark and the figure there always watching her. Like the stars above in a black sky.

“You’ll know.”

Eleanor walked downstairs. Out into the sunny day full of festivities and family. Asked her aunt for another piece of cake. Frosted with yellow buttercream flowers. They discovered her uncle in that closet at the same time the flies found him too.

They found the cloth clutched into his meaty, stiff hand and began to ask questions. She didn’t want to talk about the secret games he played when she was in that house. They sent a bolt of thunder rattling into her brain. Unraveled the synapses.

Her mother burned the cloth. Vowed to never speak of it in hopes she would forget. Children forgot things all the time.

Nell never forgot. Not for a moment. Not her uncle or her festering relatives who seemed to easily put her in the back of their memories.

She wanted them to always remember too. If anything, they owed her that much.

The pictures her mind fleshed out with crayons were not what children should be drawing. Twisted bodies sometimes. Other days, it was those eyes. Molten lava. Mother and father decided this wasn’t something they could deal with. Seeing her looking so still and motionless around the house like a ghost was too much. Knowing they failed their daughter was just too much. A lock clicked.

They put her in a place that watched over mistakes of all ages from rich families. Paid it well. They told Eleanor it wasn’t her fault and yet, she was the one locked away in a tower for it. She was the one ignored and doped up.

Ten years and she gave them nothing. Years of homeschooling. Counseling. Medications. Years of sticking her tongue out to swear she’d swallowed her pills. Years of giving them nothing. No laughter or tears. She never hurt a fly and she was the monster.

Sometimes, it was easier to become the monster they wanted, she supposed.

Eleanor got out and married the first man who smiled at her. Called her pretty. Just to be away from mother and father. They’d rot in the weeds soon enough. The rest of her family dwindled. Terrible accidents. She vowed to never reproduce to spite them.

Husband played games too when dinner wasn’t just right or when she dressed just a little against his wishes. Seven miscarriages. Too many broken promises. A car accident pulled his body apart. Left her with some money to return home.

Mother and father needed her now, sick and dying in their lavish beds. Life always went on in Derry. Father went still snug in his tomb a month later. Few more weeks and mother’s harsh insults became apologies.

This girl she ignored was all she had left.

“Nell, I hope you can forgive us.” Her mother croaked one day.

“You’re free to do that, mama.” She’d turned and came to sit on the bed.

“Do what, my dear?”

“Hope.” Eleanor tucked some brittle hair from mother’s face. Made room for the pillow she pushed into place. Eight minutes and it was over. Twenty seven years and members of her family dropped like flies. She told herself it was a curse. Or fate.

Bloodlines dying had never been so beautiful. Not built to last forever. Not at all. There was justice in that much.

Both Eleanor’s parents became ashes in two ornate urns. She drove them out to the Barrens and poured them into the festering waters. Stinking of Derry’s rotten bowels. Wind swept. Picking up green and brown leaves. Wading the waters to give them some appearance of peace.

Nell didn’t smell the stink of death. She smelt the circus. Hot buttery popcorn and cotton candy. Twang of metal from the old, rusted rides whirling all directions. A child’s laughter echoed out from the giant pipe ahead. Covered in sludge and moss.

She followed the lively sounds. Enticed. No long holding to this world. Another one awaited. It always had. Marked with two glowing orange eyes.

Reminded her of the lights twinkling every Halloween. Jack-o-lanterns you couldn’t blow out before midnight because it was against the rules and would bring you bad luck.

Through watery rot and dead leaves, Nell went into the pipes. Caught glimmers of light between cracks. Felt her way. Heard the uttering of the seven children she lost beckoning her home.

Down.

Ruined her clothes in the trance. Clawing for more because the world couldn’t hope to deliver. Into a massive nest with a skylight. Candlelight danced. She heard the trill of a music box until the room came alive. Whirled from rust and rot to marble and gold.

Prettier than her wedding day. A church with decorated pews of red taffeta. White roses hanging from every corner. Petals crying into the cherry wood floors.

A man smiled at her who wasn’t Husband. Sharp, brooding face. Swept brown locks slicked like Clark Gable. Pink lips curled and crystalline eyes gave a twinkle. A white suit and one red rose at his breast.

She came to him when he reached. Body heavier because a dress dragged behind her. Full skirt of those same delicate white roses. Tight bodice that twinkled under candlelight. Nell smiled too. Utterly lost and found all at once in this room that smelled like decadent caramel apples.

A gloved hand curled into hers.

“Am I dead?” She asked.

“Oh, yes. For twenty seven years now. You wandered the Earth. But, you're home now.” That voice. All shivers. Chilling until the candles started to snuff out. “That was not life, Nelly. You existed by a thread.”

“Nelly.” She mused in her deepest dream of dreams. The hate and the neglect and the sheer evil brought by humans who were supposed love and protect instead tore her soul far asunder.

The man leaned in near her hair. Inhaled.

“Nothing. Even still.” He recounted the memories. All those times he tried and failed to devour her. “Little wonder.”

"Pennywise." She puffed, barely audible.

“I watched you dance. All those years. You can dance down here too in the dark."

Nell realized as he brought her out for a romantic spin. She’d been seeking him out all her life. All the decay and twisting vines in her soul. Begging to just cross over and stop this pain. But, he wouldn’t finish it because she had no fear. So she danced until the room began to peel. He wiped his cheek on one sleeve. Peachy makeup smeared the fabric to display that red smile upon white skin.

She pushed off him. Watched blood rain and melt the rest of it away. This place. A nest. A stomach. A pile of trash and metal twisted up toward the sky. Gouging. Figures floating around it. Waiting. Sleeping soundly because evil couldn’t touch them anymore. At the very least. They fueled something brand new.

No cry. No scream. Nell succumbed. Stumbling back into a worn mattress as the clown crawled up toward her at some inhuman speed. Slapped his hands on either side of her head. They just breathed.

Existed together in one space.

Sometimes good and bravery didn’t blossom from overcoming fear. Sometimes you still wanted to die because enduring a lifelong ache was not growth. It just hurt. There was power in it, but it fucking ached.

It burned. Plenty of things in her life burned. The scorn of her parents. Her uncle's games. The rotten nurses tossing her around. Husband's hands indenting skin.

But, Pennywise didn’t. He just showed up to watch the fires grow hot and breathless into a black sky. The terrible view was still a breathtaking thing. Something shattering to become a supernova. Rebirth.

Enduring pain was worth it. That sick curiosity that there was something more to life. It was worth it. So, fight. Endure. Ache. Be human while you have the chance in an inhuman world because it needs you.

Gloves opened her dress. Tore layers of tulle and chiffon. Slashed silk. Hands pressed against his chest. Not pushing or pulling. Just holding. Shifting over thick, stitched cotton. Ruffles swayed. She felt a heart beat so hard there under her palm.

He was alive. Something brand new. Not of this world.

“Am I like you?” She begged finally. Years of searching and asking why. He stopped to see her green eyes. Glowered. One blue, one orange.

“Not yet.” Was the truest answer he could form. Fingers gripped his fabric sleeves. Twisted just to hold onto something tangible for the first time in all her existence. Alive at last in this place. Water droplets echoed distantly. “You cannot last forever. Nothing lasts forever.”

Except love, she thought. Except desire.

Pennywise seemed to hear it even still. Felt the truth of it carve out his heart that was still beating powerfully. Profoundly.

Something flayed her open. Pushed inside. Made her moan deliciously until two gloved fingers touched her mouth. Bodies connecting. Moving together.

There were hands everywhere. Stroking soft caresses up and down her naked flesh. It felt like a million little pieces of candlelight were swirling up her body. Those same orbs that had been following her around for too many years shined behind his eyes. Resonated. Beautiful.

She made out parts of him between thumps. Orange hair. Pristine paint. His mouth on her skin. A heart that was pumping vigorously. Low rumbling growls. Nell felt she’d been starved all her life and was finally feeding. Finally letting the ache flood out that she’d held onto for too long. Finally alive. Feeling. Deep down and drawing in it.

Her voice came to beg for more of him. Hands grasping to touch him back. To delve into this earth and just feel. He touched her everywhere. Lips and neck. Down her breasts. Between spread legs.

The combined sensations made her cry out for him to never stop. A gloved hand on her jaw brought their eyes together. Hot, wet touch. Boiling. The peak shattered them both. Nell fell to shuddering pieces. Curved up. Moaning and shameless. Weight fell into her body so lips could touch her own. Once. Just once while they were warm.

Pennywise lifted off fully to see her eyes. Inhaled again and got what he’d sought too. Years and it was finally there.

Those green eyes glimmered at him. A waft of sweet candied apples bubbled with heat. Fear. Clear as a crystal, dewy morning. It was the most beautiful thing in the world.

There was finally something found that could be lost. Something she sought out and held and hoped for.

And the fear of losing it was almost too much to bear.

One gloved finger caught a tear that trickled out from the corner of her eyes.

“Please.” She said, unable to find much else. Like she wanted him and nothing else for the rest of these long days. Do it. Just do it. Nell’s hand lifted. Gentle fingers drew lines along his face. "Pennywise. Please."

It was a soft prayer.

He lunged down. Sunk teeth into her tender neck. Tore the scream out before she could hope to give it. Nell choked there. Made an odd sound like she was laughing. It bubbled. Claws grew out from those gloves. Shoved forth into her raging heart.

A squelch.

Her lips were still upturned when it was done. Green eyes pointed on him. Peaceful and bloodied. Naked under the moonlight. Dripping rubies.

He tossed his head back and wailed. Teeth sharp and bared. Bloodied. Lost. A shattering sound that bent time and space apart. Pennywise plucked her up. Climbed high and vast to the very top of the twisting pile. Watched the dead children float like little falling stars. Something to make wishes upon. Peaceful for only a second in this life.

He placed her there in a sheer drape. Closed her eyes. Let the deadlights swelter above them. Spinning all directions.

A scar thickened.

Three days passed. The deadlights danced high and wide. Fluttering like a swarm of butterflies. The world spun on a new axis. Pennywise sat below upon his stage. Curved over in wait. Marble statue.

A low rumble like a purr erupted. Dainty feet came to him with a newfound grace. Little dancer. Deadly ballerina all porcelain and blushed. Blood red shoes made soft taps across the stage.

A white hand touched his shoulder. His little wonder. Bells tolled distantly three times.

“Can you smell the circus?” Her voice poured white hot. Purring louder so he'd feel it vibrate his own chest.

Lips curled wide. Split. Pennywise rose to see her in the light. Perfection. Those green eyes shimmering like emeralds. Haunted. Totally alive and willing.

“Yes.” He hissed. Cupping her face to see the angles. Not ruining the permanent brushstrokes that came with her rebirth. “Yes, I do.” A bond struck.

I do. I promise. We'll float. Always.

Nell smiled to match him. Totally and irrevocably his equal. A pulse of light drew them together. She granted him a single kiss, tasting candied. A new horror in this world hungry for the evil it would always bring.

“We were built to last forever.”

#pennywise #pennywise x oc #pennywise imagine #mine #writing

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ziracona · 4 years

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i was just wondering what your favourite tropes and dynamics are to explore in fic? either to write yourself or to read!

Oooh, that’s a hard one to answer because I like so many! Uhhh...Let me think.

Well, one of my favorite tropes is definitely Found Family. What is really more satisfying and worthwhile than a group of damaged people coming together and slowly building trust and love until they are inseparably bonded and full of love and have found things they never thought they would?

I am extremely weak to memory loss both because I have some myself, and the American Dragon Jake Long episode Homecoming ripped out my heart as a kid and left me suffering, then Code Geass stepped on it twice with Shirley the same way. So I really like memory loss centered tragedy tropes bc I am 3x weak to them. I am also weak to that trope where one person is trapped in a room with a bomb, or going to drown, or for whatever reason cannot be saved from dying, so a loved one goes and stays and dies with them too just so they don’t have to die alone. Frkn /shatters/ my heart.

I love hurt comfort a lot. I think my favorite scenes to write and read are often one person is completely at the mercy of person 2, who they have no reason to think will help them and are terrified of being hurt by, but instead of person 2 doing anything bad at all, they are kind and look after them and save them. I die for that. It is the lifeblood of my soul.

I also like big character arcs and well done redemption arcs (bad ones make me rage tho. If I was a card in a tarot deck, I’d be Justice). Personal growth, finding hope again, learning to trust or love yourself. I really like character studies, and I like in-depth looks at serious issues and complex and messed up situations. I also am a big fan of deeply important and lasting platonic relationships, be it familial or best friends or whatever, and like romances where the two in question (or more if poly) just try really hard to be good to each other and communicate well and are full of love and would die for each other.

Love pets being a big element of story. Love language barriers, and like writing them/communication barriers. I am usually not very interested in stories (writing or reading) that don’t have good rep in a number of ways. Like writing disabled characters well because I see them get written very grossly so much (I like writing tons of groups this is just the one I did most recently, so it’s on my mind rn. I am disabled, but I’m also a lot of other things to & def don’t only focus on/be interested by my own stuff). I am kinda branching out from tropes to just elements now tho. Uhhhhh, tropes, tropes. I love the opposite of that stupid “If you kill an evil person you’re just as bad”--I am here to see people end the people who murdered their friends or abused them. It’s what they deserve. Not here for a woobie redemption arc for an abuser. Very tired of those & angy.

I love humor in the midst of intense drama or horror or sadness. I’m big into massive sacrifices, but especially if it’s something other than death bc those tend to be more well thought out.

I adore characters who have been through awful things and suffered and been abused getting to actually heal and live happy lives instead of just dying the second they start to taste happiness. I love themes and tropes about the value and lasting nature of human connection and how important and lasting it is.

(putting the rest under a cut bc I am having fun but this be getting long)

Uhhh, I am obsessed with free will > fate and choice, and I really like humanity and things about what it means to be human, and ethics, but like, in an interesting way? Like, Terry Pratchett’s stuff really appeals to me. Like “What have I always believed? That on the whole, and by and large, if a man lived properly, not according to what any priests said, but according to what seemed decent and honest inside, then it would, at the end, more or less, turn out all right.” “Just because you can explain it doesn't mean it's not still a miracle.” “The figures looked more or less human. And they were engaged in religion. You could tell by the knives (it's not murder if you do it for a god).” “There are hardly any excesses of the most crazed psychopath that cannot easily be duplicated by a normal kindly family man who just comes in to work every day and has a job to do.” “There’s no point in believing in things that exist.” “You couldn’t put off the inevitable. Because sooner or later, you reached the place when the inevitable just went and waited.” and

“Yeah? How many worshipers have you got?” “Fifty-one!” The newt looked at him hopefully, and added, “Is that lots? Can't count.” It pointed at a rather crudely molded figure on the beach in Omnia and said, “But got a stake!” Om looked at the figure of the little fisherman. “When he dies, you'll have fifty worshippers,” he said. “That more or less than fifty-one?” “A lot less.” “Definite?” “Yes.” “No one tell me that.” There were several dozen gods watching the beach. Om vaguely remembered the Ephebian statues. There was the goddess with the badly carved owl. Yes. Om rubbed his head. This wasn't god-like thinking. It seemed simpler when you were up here. It was all a game. You forgot that it wasn't a game down there. People died. Bits got chopped off. We're like eagles up here, he thought. Sometimes we show a tortoise how to fly. Then we let go. He said, to the occult world in general, “There's people going to die down there.” A Tsortean God of the Sun did not even bother to look round. “That's what they're for,” he said. In his hand he was holding a dice box that looked very much like a human skull with rubies in the eye-sockets. “Ah, yes,” said Om. “I forgot that, for a moment.” He looked at the skull, and then turned to the little Goddess of Plenty. “What's this, love? A cornucopia? Can I have a look? Thanks.” Om emptied some of the fruit out. Then he nudged the Newt God. “If I was you, friend, I'd find something long and hefty,” he said. “Is one less than fifty-one?” said P'Tang-P'Tang. “It's the same,” said Om, firmly. He eyed the back of the Tsortean God's head. “But you have thousands,” said the Newt God. “You fight for thousands.” Om rubbed his forehead. I spent too long down there, he thought. I can't stop thinking at ground level. “I think,” he said, “I think, if you want thousands, you have to fight for one.” He tapped the Solar God on the shoulder. “Hey, sunshine?” When the God looked around, Om broke the cornucopia over his head.

Are all just from Small Gods, and like, boy is that my kinda good shit. Love history and sociology and anthropology.

I love people fighting to do something they know is doomed to fail just because they know it’s the right thing. I also die for characters who are loyal undyingly, and characters admitting they were wrong and trying to do better, and that trope where someone says something but the exact opposite is happening in the background or happens immediately after. Love that trope where someone should be dead but they just. keep. getting. back. up. to defend someone they love. Love the trope where character A dies and character B takes something of theirs like a bracelet or a necklace or a headband or something and wears it forever after. : (((

I know there’s a ton more but ima swap to dynamics.

Let’s see. I adore familial relationships so much? Blood family, adopted, doesn’t matter, it’s exactly the same. I am huge on one character becoming team mom or dad or parent, or adopting some of the others. I love parent-kid relationships, even with adults and older adults, because it’s just as important. I adore small children being cared for by gruff war-hardened people, or selfish dicks who have to be better for the kid, or kind people who always wanted a kid and lost their own or never had one, or who are happy to add one more, or big sisters Clemtine style stepping into parenthood. Live for that, and I seek out video games that let me play it. Very excited to be trying out Plague’s Tale Innocence, because you play as a big sis taking care of your little brother (he’s like 6? 5-8? I’m not sure). But it’s such a neat idea for a sibling dynamic to explore, because while they’re siblings and know each other’s name and have like, a familial bond, it’s also all kind of awkward and new, because he’s been sick for years and in quarantine with just their mom, so even though they’re siblings and love each other and like, baby brother trusts you, they don’t really know each other at all, and that is just fascinating and so cool to explore to me! I also love someone adopting someone else as their new sibling(s) and dragging them into the family. I love siblings where one starts to go evil or mess up, and the other sibling fights with everything they have to save them/bring them back/help them become good again, because it breaks my heart and sibling relationships are /so/ important to me.

I also love shit like Jeff in dbd, where one character adopts younger characters who just /super/ don’t deserve it, because as much as they’ve fucked up, they love them anyway, they just do, and they want to be there to give them support and a chance to keep trying if they’ll take it. And like, I love all of Legion’s relationships with him, but especially Joey, because it’s /so/ sweet, and Joey is just a scared kid hurting and alone and he wants /so bad/ just to be loved and thought well of and okay, but he’s terrified of getting hurt or killed, and confused, and guilty and afraid of what will happen because of all the bad shit he did, and Jeff is just so warm and forgiving and full of nothing but unconditional love and kindness, and in the sincerest of ways, and they’re such good friends, which is like, not optional to a good parent-child relationship. Or way older brother filling in for parent-kid, there’s a lot of overlap. Anyway! Also just cute shit where someone falls in love with the idea of getting to look out for and stay close to someone younger they want to protect and parent, and there’s this kind of hopeful and almost fragile unsureness that the other person will want or need them in that capacity, like Ace adopting Nea, and not just picking looking out for someone who needs it over former life of thrill, but like, never regretting that choice, and just being truly happy and fulfilled in the adventure they now are on.

For friendships, god. I like so much shit, I don’t know what to say. I am so sorry I am giving you a novel for an answer to this short ask, rip. But I just love all kinds! I like groups with an established rhetoric between them, who are just so comfortable in each others’ presence, and people you know love and value each other so much they’re going to be together forever just as much as the two other characters getting married. I love one is a nice person, and the other is an asshole, but they make an amazing team and balance each other out, and the asshole stops the kind one from dying doing shit for other people, and the kind one helps the asshole be just a little more in love with their friends and things other than themself, and they’re great together. I love idiot friends who riff off each other and do bits all the time, and ones who turn into the “Holy shit there’s two of them” whenever they hang out, and ones who are just so on the same wavelength they’re totally comfortable in silence together and seek it out and would die for the other. I like wingman to person who is dying of embarrassment dynamic, and hardcore fighty person protecting either small and easily hurt person, or just as great, protecting dedicatedly person who is ironically either just as tough as them or even more, but it’s still really sweet and kind of double soft and sweet because tough friend never gets cared for.

God, what don’t I like? ...People being toxic assholes together?

I like super opposites that mesh well, but look hilarious next to each other, and goofy best friends who shamelessly sing loud to the most embarrassing karaoke track they could find. Lesbian and himbo is pretty great. As is the opposite, gay dude and stupid amazing slut or bimbo. (Fkn Mateo and Cheyanne kill me). Sweetest person you will ever know surrounded by 20 people who would die for them. Person who thinks they’re unlovable and takes a long time to notice like all their friends already love them, and then they get to be happy. Person who has never once had a good relationship is dragged into a healthy friendship and /super/ suspicious at every turn because they just aren’t used to being loved and treated well, but eventually softens and probably straight up breaks down at some point.

Person who was formerly bad or did something super fucked up is forgiven and welcomed into a group which they can barely even understand, and they are full of guilt but their loved ones reassure them and help them heal and just accept them and support them. Friends who are super mean to other friend but like, in a loving way, and would also take a bullet for the friend.

Uhhh, for romances, my fave is characters who just fucking love each other. I am real tired of relationship drama. Like pining and issues and star crossed lovers are all great (I think of those, star-crossed lovers is my fave), but I mean like, the shit where people keep having misunderstandings or not talking or cheating on each other just so there can be drama--that I am sick of. I love it when person A does something super badass and probably a little unexpected and person B is like “That’s my wife!!!” or just goes : O with love in their eyes, and this happens constantly. I love gushy mushy sweet displays of affection. I love relationships where the people who are dating were best friends first and still are after, all the way, and tease and rib and are so in love.

I like it when one person thinks they don’t deserve the other, but clearly their partner feels none of this and is always just like “Babe...” and hugs them and is just as in love, and helps them begin to love themself more.

Uhhhh, I like it when there’s someone who doesn’t think they’re in love and there’s that trope where they suddenly get it and you get the Oh or the Wait in italics as it drops internally. I like ships where the characters balance each other out well or provide good support and get better together than they were apart, triple points if they’re super aware of that and comment on it. Also whatever the fuck Maureen Robinson and John Robinson in the Lost in Space reboot have going on. That’s like, goals. She’s chaotic evil living lawful good by sheer force of will, and he’s a himbo too in love to realize any of that and never questions what she thinks they should do beyond the physical logistics of it and would die for her and not think twice about it or the fact that she moves really fast to the pragmatic “Okay,”--not because she doesn’t love him, she does--but because someone does need to be alive for their kids and she’s just wired too practical for him to have to pry her off sobbing to not stay and die with him. (This happens verbatim in like episode 6, but it’s not a mega spoiler bc he doesn’t actually die--he just almost does. She figures out a way to save them both right before committing to it.)

I also like “two fools both in love but really nervous about asking the other if they are because of their past, or situation, or because this is the first time or first time with that kind of relationship, so there’s just intense romantic tension all the time where they pause mid-sentence to just stare into eachothers’ eyes and forget what they were saying, but they’re both too ineffective to just fucking go “Do you like me?” for such a long time. Hurt/comfort paired with pining. Uhhh, but Star Crossed Lovers is up there for sure. I love the pain of two people wanting to be together but it’s just /impossible/ and they know it but that doesn’t make the feelings go away, and it’s miserable, and maybe they’re upset, because they shouldn’t feel this way, but they can’t not, and it’s confused, and it hurts, but they’re also so /happy/ when they see each other. I like that good shit in any romance where the characters can just look at each other and they know, and you know. That’s the choice shit, I tell you that.

Jeeze I’m sure I missed stuff but this is already so long. Uhhh, I like so much I don’t really know how to answer. But my favorite like, vibe/....flavor genre? Is Hope Punk. Uhhh, and mostly I dig any relationships that end up healthy and sweet. I really like second-chances, and characters confronting and moving on past their bad or complicated pasts, or trauma, and healing. Hurt comfort is love, and so is angst with a happy ending. I like a good villain or a wonderful asshole, but I feel like characters that are just good and doing their best really get overlooked and undervalued a lot, and I am here for them. Like Sam Gamgee? One of the /best/ characters in LOTR. So is Bob Newby--and I do get the irony in them both being played by Sean Astin. But uh, anyway, I really like to explore how decent people try to act when confronted with terrible situations and choices, because I really value people who stayed sweet and kind and merciful and full of love even after all the awful shit life has put them through, and I really like writing about how /hard/ that is, and what it looks like, along with the other stuff. I also like characters who are very flawed and very medium being given something to lose and something to gain that go in opposite directions, and being forced to confront their reality and make hard choices. I like people being given intense opportunities to grow or to rot, and seeing which they’ll chose and why and if they’ll make it to the end. Mostly I just really love characters who try, even if they fail, because that can be a lot harder to do than it seems. I like dynamics where one character is very flawed, or in a bad place, but they love someone they think is amazing, and so they’re working hard to catch up to them, or to get close enough they can reach out and hold their hand, and are fighting to make it to a person themselves who can do that someday. I’m sure I forgot a lot and that this was super rambly, but I hope you at least enjoyed some of it! Thanks for asking! ^u^

#ask #anonymous #personal #writing #Anonymous

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ktheist · 4 years

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story time: pretty girls don’t get hurt

this is where i rant, cry and scream about my fics. not all fics have a story time though! the ones that do just kind of have a special place in my heart ♥️

spoiler alert!

i. the title.

okay don’t laugh but i’ve been singing sia’s chandeliar as ‘pretty girls’ instead of ‘party girls’ for years. and i kind of liked how it sounded to that’s how the title comes to be lmaooo

but the story comes together eventually yk

pretty could mean a lot of things - the way one dresses, the way one carries themselves, the traditional pretty described for features. take your pick for the oc.

but given the plot and her position - she dresses nicely and carries herself with confidence (prettily).

but despite all of that, she’s been hurt before (the part where she got turned down by taehyung) and she was hurt still by the incident with sowon. it was both physical and mental because she ended up feeling guilty about taking sowon’s man.

ii. oc.

oc may or may not have appeared ooc. i purposefully made her have two sides: on one hand, when she’s with the people she can let her guard down, she’s playful - i’d say she’s a spoiled brat who grew up. on the other, she’s pretty serious because of the wall she built up around her - because pretty girls do get hurt! haha title ref.

if you noticed, oc’s a practical type. she was born from what queen bey said used to say or maybe she didn’t bc i saw this on twitter a long time ago but the gist is she only gives herself one day to feel sorry for herself when she's down, but in those 24 hours she allows herself to truly FEEL it, then she pushes past it because she can't sit and dwell for too long.

and the quote from miss nai labeautyologist : if it doesn’t feed you, don’t water it.

but basically, she’s very ambition-driven and there’s little she wouldn’t do to get what she wants.

iii. oc and taehyung.

they’re soulmates.

to be frank this dynamic is more interesting to me than the actual plot. i feel like it’d be interesting to write a heart wrenching angst about two people who were so perfect for each other - that they can’t be together.

a little insight on taehyung: he’s always had commitment issues, so when oc had her career blooming and was at the top of the game and the only thing left that she doesn’t have is a family of her own, decided to tell taehyung about her feelings, the guy got scared that he’s going to fuck it up and ruin their friendship along with it.

since they’ve known each other for so long - the line between friends and lovers got blurred. they were doing things lovers would do (cuddling etc. not sex lmao) but they still thought it was normal even though the other was seeing someone else.

when oc realized that taehyung was the man she wanted to spend her entire life with, she sort of told him that like love confession + proposal right away. she’s practical and maybe lacking some sense lmaooo

but taehyung fled the country after rejected oc and she had to drag him back and give him a piece of her mind, basically told him not to be so dramatic and that she was fine if he didn’t like her back. they’re still friends.

that’s the thing though - taehyung loved oc back just as much and that’s when things got complicated.

or not really - they were living on a pretense of friendship but taehyung still chose oc over his many girlfriends. it was like nothing could come between the two. taehyung was content with that until oc decided to get married and he’s finally realizing things are changing - granted they couldn’t just stay in that grey area forever.

and now, their dynamic’s changed - they really can’t be together. so they’re gonna be each other’s pillar of strength. like family you get what i’m saying?

it’s bittersweet. i wish i could write something like that but as the main plot but i don’t think i’ll be able to do it justice.

iii. oc and seokjin.

there’s not much going on here besides what was written. seokjin has a good eye for character - or more like, he’s grown up around people who want to use him for personal gain so he knows how to read people.

and oc was exactly the kind of person who approaches people because she needs something from them and she knows she have something they want.

what she didn’t expect was having her motives being found out with just one look. and that’s why they were great for each other.

oc’s playful side is foretold in the earlier scenes with taehyung so it’s not too ooc for her to be the way she is at the end of the fic. she finally lets her guard down.

i like her with seokjin better than with taehyung even though she and taehyung know everything about each other. what each other like. what the other hate. but it’s too intense and fragile especially with the other’s personalities. they kind of clash. oc is the kind of person that needs something to be said to her and taehyung is the kind of person that expects her to just get him.

but seokjin’s the type to know and not take it to heart when oc does something less sensitive / doesn’t know it’ll hurt him.

iv. fin.

i’m not sure if i like the way the story flows - it focuses more on them getting to know each other. i have doubts that the smut was even needed though - i’m a firm believer that smuts can make or break a fic. sometimes it’s not needed and feel forced. i don’t think it’s forced in this fic but i also don’t think it needs to focus on the actual intercourse lmao oh well. i shall improve in the future and have better judgement on whether to include it or not in the future.

until then. cara.

#fic: pretty girls don't get hurt #seokjin scenarios #seokjin fic #seokjin fanfic #story time

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deobis · 4 years

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Road to Kingdom Episode 4 Thoughts

The third challenge was for each group to pick one of their own songs and perform it. I really wish RTK stuck with the “king” theme, but I guess there are only so many challenges they can create revolving that topic.

DISCLAIMER: I am a lot harsher in this review than any of my other posts. Please know that I do not hate any of the 7 groups and I truly wish the best for all of them. This is just an analysis of the most recent performances.

Anyways onto my rankings!

Enjoyment ranking:

Pentagon (Wow! For once it’s not TBZ haha)

Verivery

The Boyz

Oneus

ONF

TOO

Golden Child

Objective Ranking:

Verivery

The Boyz

Pentagon

ONF

Oneus

Golden Child

TOO

Prediction rankings:

Pentagon

The Boyz

Verivery

ONF

Oneus

TOO

Golden Child

Put a prediction ranking bc the rankings haven’t been announced yet so we will see tomorrow!

For the first time in forever, TBZ is not first in my book. Shocker I know. That’s not to say that I didn’t like their performance or concept but rather the other groups (PTG and Verivery) did better in my eyes. Let’s talk about TBZ’s Reveal (Catching Fire) perf. I’ll call it RCF for short. TBZ was the only group to continue a story from the second challenge. This gains major points in my book as I love plot driven performances. Anything with a story or clear objective gains brownie points because it’s what makes performances an art. You can dance to a song but if there’s no emotion it stays as a sport rather than a form of artistic expression. TBZ have shown their artistry fully through RTK, something they haven’t really been able to do before. I’m amazed at how they are able to control shock factor so well. I was worried the stunts of Danger would outshine whatever they had to show in RCF but they proved me wrong. There were less stunts this time but they focused on a much larger picture (pun intended). They added backup dancers and allowed the camera to take wider shots to show their formations. I just felt like they lacked a spark this time. If you can’t already tell, I prefer their Danger performance much more. A large part of this is due to the arrangement of Danger. The RCF arrangement was interesting and refreshing but there wasn’t anything really new. Maybe I feel this way because I’ve listened to Reveal too many times who knows. Negatives aside, I have to say I really liked the choreography changes. The part where Haknyeon is center really blew my mind.

But here’s why I liked Verivery and Pentagon’s performance more: emotion. Pentagon’s is obvious, they used this stage to send off someone they really love. You can really see that the members love Jinho and that they have a deep bond. Pentagon was also the only group to mix two of their songs together, one being a title track and one being a side track (note: PTG and Verivery are the only groups who picked side b’s for their song). Pentagon’s arrangement was impeccable. For me, the new Shine sounded like a Jpop song (mostly because of the rock vibes; if you listen to Jpop you know what I mean), while still retaining the bright theme of Shine. A lot of people might say the performance was too emotional and not professional, but out of all 7 performances, Pentagon’s was the most meaningful and was delivered the best. The message and how they played with the stage was stunning and their little additions and references to other popular Kpop songs makes it so you will notice something new every time you rewatch it. Please watch this video where Hongseok goes into detail about the little easter eggs and the whole purpose behind their performance. I have so much respect for Pentagon and I could write so much more about this performance but I must talk about the other 5 haha (if you want to hear more feel free to ask!)

Verivery. VERIVERY. God DAMN did they really come back and hit hard. They definitely had the clearest and most well thought out performance of all. What differentiates them from TBZ’s story like performance is that TBZ had too much going on in my opinion. They tried to tell us a long story with not enough time. This is why so many fans have vastly different interpretations of their performance. While this can often be a good thing, I think you have to find a balance when doing a storytelling performance. Verivery cleanly executes their narrative of a nightmare and takes the cliche of “it was all a dream” to the max by going “SIKE” at the end. Their choreography was so well planned out and they were honestly very minimalistic about their stage, just like TBZ’s Danger stage. The shock factor is just right (my favorite part being when the backup dancers have the smoke come out of their mouth). Not only that but Photo is a SIDE TRACK. I cannot stress enough how brave of them that is. I legitimately thought it was a title track until I looked at their discography. They arranged their side b to sound like a title track, and not only that, they changed the overall feel of the song as well. If you listen to the original Photo, it sounds more like a bad boy song, but their RTK version is very much so horror/rock themed. I can’t STRESS how good this performance is. Especially because it’s such a contrast from their last performance. Photo is now in my spotify playlist and I have no regrets.

Now onto the last 4 performances. I hate to break it to you all but... I didn’t really like any of them. None of them made me think “wow I could rewatch this so many times.” Lets start with Oneus. LIT is my favorite Oneus song so I highly anticipated this performance. If you didn’t know Oneus before and only watch this stage you might think its a very good stage with a strong traditional theme. I totally agree, the traditional theme is unique to Oneus and I loved the instrumental changes they made so the song would cater more to their theme. The biggest issue I had with this stage was that It literally is just like their music video. If you have seen the LIT mv you will know what I mean. The dragon dance, traditional clothing, theme, sound, everything was too similar. The stage was grand but it just felt like a live version of their MV.

I know a lot of people liked ONF’s performance. Let me just say first that they killed it and YooA was *chefs kiss* The biggest issue I had with this stage was its message and theme. They seemed to have a conductor/medieval theme but also the masks?? Like what? It felt so out of place and random. I felt like a lot of their stage choices had little to no purpose. I honestly still don’t understand why YooA was there. The duet dance was nice but why? It seemed like they were trying to tell a story but it just wasn’t clear to me. It looked nice and everything but that was about it. In no way am I saying the performance was bad, it’s just there’s nothing that makes me want to go back and watch again. I think the fact that there was a plot but no plot at the same time really bothered me and that’s why I didn’t like it as much.

TOO has grown a lot since episode one. They are truly experimenting with the stage and I’m very happy to see that. I have the same issue with TOO as I did with ONF. There was a clear theme of “dark vs light” or “evil vs good” but why? What was the point? The theme may have seemed obvious but was it really? Were they trying to convey good vs bad, angel vs devil, justice vs injustice? I couldn’t tell throughout the entire performance. It’s okay to take cliche themes but with a show like RTK, there needs to be something more. I also hate to be harsh but some of their execution just wasn’t as clean. This doesn’t only apply to Chan (I think that’s his name), but the whole performance in general. The most obvious instance is the head twist part. But I applaud Chan for performing with 100% even after his mistake (which, by the way, he made look very natural. I was very sad when he kept beating himself up over the mistake 😞 you did great bb I hope you know that). Even if their age and lack of experience is shown in their performances, I must say they are really stepping out of their comfort zone and learning at a rapid pace. I have high hopes for them.

Now onto the last group. Golden Child. I was very impressed with GolChas first two performances but this one was a disappointment. I appreciate the use of strings and their classical arrangement (as I said in my previous episode thoughts post) but this performance was, well, dull to say the least. The only “shock factor” was the violin solo (which was very good btw), but I think it was too late into the performance. There wasn’t much that made me interested in the performance up to that point. I don’t know. There really just isn’t much for me to talk about because they didn’t really do much.(God that sounds so harsh;; I’m sorry 😭😭) I really think their second performance was highly underrated but all in all this third one was not it.

As you can see my critiques for this set of performances are, well, a lot harsher. I think it’s because the bar was raised so much higher after the first three episodes. Overall, if I had seen any of these performances outside of the RTK context I probably would have been a lot more impressed and shocked. I wish the best for all the groups and no matter who gets eliminated tomorrow I want all the groups to know that they all deserve a spot in the Kingdom. Mnet is just trash.

#yikes another lengthy one #road to kingdom #sdjfhdfjh god i swear im gonna get hate for this post fuck #but i like what i like and i said what i said #take this with a grain of salt please #anyways that took way too long #if you're going to take anything away from this post #its the hongseok video i linked #please watch that #my heart breaks so much for pentagon #they truly deserve to win imo

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thorsstorms · 5 years

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Sober Me

Word count: 2.8k

Summary: Thor hasn't tried to contact, what is life like with out him?

Warning: ANGST!, Drunk Thor, Sad Thor. Acohol abuse.

A/N: a long awaited sequel to Drunk Me, one of my favorites, well I got bit by the writing bug tonight and decided to have a go. Also, I always picture Thor with long hair in these. I wrote Drunk Me pre endgame (im psychic I know) but was stuck on long hair Thor bc who isn't. Part three coming soon.

Masterlist. - Drunk Me. - Touch Me

Steve’s place was not far from ours, only a few blocks. For those that had moved out of the tower, they were never too far away. Steve was my first friend of the group, I met him not long after he came out of the ice, I answered his questions, and he answered mine. It did not take long for us to become friends. It was him who introduced me to Thor. The introduction was not meant for a set up, but he just wanted to introduce me to the people he called his ‘family.’

Steve had told me I could stay as long as I wanted, Bucky would agree with him each time, telling me I was no burden and that I had no rush but I did not like taking advantage of them. They had always done so much for me, ‘they’ as in the entire family I was thrust into, but I would not change it. I was just always checking myself to never become reliant on them. I had a good job, very few ‘friends’ outside of them though, but it was not like I could not get by on my own.

Four days of crying. The next morning Thor woke us three to pounding on door, though he would not dare kick it down again, at least not while sober. He yelled for us, for me. Before I could even sit straight up on the couch, the two make-shift bodyguards were throwing themselves outside the front door of the apartment where Thor was waiting. They came back in a few minutes later alone. They told me not to worry about it, to go back to sleep.

The second day was quiet until the evening. Evening as in a solid 2 A.M. I was in a deep sleep, exhausted from the day before, my mind never calmed down, wondering if I did the right thing. I woke up to Steve murmuring to me, asking me to come sleep with him in his bed. I was confused until I heard the loud voices outside the door. They were familiar. A loud yet eerily calm James Barnes, and a pitiful, heartbreaking plea of my Thor. Steve did not give me time to answer before pulling me away from the sounds and deeper into the apartment, he laid with me till I fell asleep, not complaining when he wiped the silent tears from my skin. Not complaining when I repeatedly asked myself why I can not help him.

Steve stayed with me the third day, Bucky ran errands if needed. Steve was my pep talker. Reminding me that I did not deserve to be scared every night, wondering if I was going to be dealing with a sad and sorry lover or an angry and sorry lover. It was not fair to me, I started to listen. It was quiet that day, at least that’s what I thought.

On the fourth I left the apartment, signing the short lease of the first place I checked out regardless if I really liked it or not, I just knew I couldn’t stay with Steve and Bucky anymore, it was not fair to them.

I could not miss anymore work so I returned, fully expecting Thor to turn up and embarrass me in front of coworkers. But he never did. The secret longing I had for him to just show up anyway, plead with me or tell me he loves me and that he was sorry was just that, a secret. I wished he would just show up so I could see his face. It gave me chills, a slight burn of tears to my eyes when I thought of him wrapping me in the biggest of hugs, just a simple hug, it was all I wanted or maybe a kiss for good measure, but he never showed.

A new routine started to show upon my life, an independent one. Always dinner with Steve and Bucky on Thursdays, it was my thing to look forward to every week, counting the days till it happens again. It wasn’t like I never saw Steve inbetween, but it was special to me. We rotated who got to pick what we cooked, never going out to eat because it would take away the craziness of all three of us dancing aorund the kitchen trying not to burn ourselves or fuck it up in anyway, it was made fun because we wanted to have fun. Simple as that.

It has been three months. I do not think about him as often anymore, going a couple hours before thinking about where he is, what he is doing. Does he think about me? Does he wonder where I am? Does he miss me? Does he still love me even though I left him when he begged me to not walk out the door? The guilt always hits me just as hard but I can not make myself ask where he is and why he has not come to get me yet, because I am waiting.

I wait in the mornings when I make a small breakfast before work. I wait when I pass the front doors where guests and clients walk through to enter the building. I wait when I am walking home, for him to catch up to me and say hello. I wait when I drink my tea and read some of my new favorite book before bed, for him to come through the door and tell me about his day. Always waiting until I was not anymore.

“Where is he?” My voice was not as strong as I wanted it to be, forever sounding more demanding in my head. Steve looked at me from across the couch. I was not watching the movie, I had not been for a while. We had seen it only a thousand times, but it was Buck’s favorite.

“What?” He questioned.

“Where is Thor? Why hasn’t he come see me?” I could tell I caught them both off guard, but I just could not wait any longer. “I shouldn’t have called you Steve. Now he doesn’t even want to see me.” It did not take me wiping my eyes with the shared blanket for them to know I was beginning to cry, they could tell from my voice. The two men shared a look, Bucky getting up to tend to the aftermath of dinner while Steve took his time speaking, moving closer to my side.

“No,” he says. “I’m glad you called me when you did. When Bucky saw you that night, he hasn’t taken a drink since. When you slept, he asked if I had a problem with it and I told him yes.”

It was good to hear, I needed it. At least some good had come out of my suffering. “Have you seen him, Steve? Where is he?” A deep breathe was not enough to calm my voice from shaking, but I have to ask, he has to tell me. I have been killing myself to know, does he hate me for leaving him, for kicking him when he is down?

“He… He is doing better. He is at the compound. Hasn’t left the compound in a few weeks I think.”

“He’s doing better?”

“He’s staying sober. There is no alcohol of any kind at his request, all dumped out.” What? I sit up at the new information, information I asked for. The tears have stopped themselves. He was not gone, not forever. I have to go see him. Does he want to see me? The yearning I had been feeling for months was shaken up like a soda bottle and the lid has popped off.

I left him.

Does he want to see me?

“Have you talked to him?” My voice is laced with urgency.

“No, but Natasha has told me that he is well.” Natasha, the one girl I was always afraid would steal my best friend from me, though he never let it happen. She never really spoke to me, only watched me like a hawk. She was the one who Thor had talked to, and he still has not tried to talk to me.

“Oh.”

“Do you want to go see-”

“Yes.” I want to see him. I have to see him. “Tomorrow, please.”

I should have called. Found a way to communicate to him that I was coming. Pepper or someone, surely could have told him somehow. It has been months and months since I have stepped foot into this facility. I only had come a few times as is, but it was enough to find my way up to the living quarters even with Steve trailing not far behind me. My eager footsteps were fast enough for my legs to be surpassing Steve’s stride.

I have not found him yet. His name was caught in my throat, scared to call out for him. It would sound much more pitiful than I wanted and I did not exactly want him to run and hide before I could catch a glimpse.

I abandon my purse on the back of the couch. No one seems to be around anyway. My feet are moving before my brain can catch up and I go straight for the rooms. One of these have to be his.

Each door I opened was seemingly barren, not a single soul or personal item in sight until there is. It was only a sweatshirt thrown over a chair that catches my attention, but it did and that was enough.

“Thor?” I question into the empty room.

Nothing.

The door slowly shuts behind me, settling just before clicking into place, leaving a slit of opening. His shoes are against the wall. The bed is lived in, where is he? I take a few steps farther in, trying to memorise his space, where he has been for the past few weeks. Laundry piled in a basket to the corner, proudly not strung across the floor shows his sobriety itself. The bed is unmade and calling for me to lay and bask in it, in his smell that is undeniably him. The bedside lamp is shining bright, he was always so bad at turning off lights. The small table is empty save a small book, a pencil accompanying it; he is in dire need of a new writing utensil.

The sheets are soft under my finger tips, I can only imagine his bare skin, my bare skin against it. Soft and warm, where we should be, where we once were. In my last attempt to control myself I pull my hand away and then occupy it by going for the small leather book calling my name. The material is warn and used, oddly comforting to the touch and reminding me of one I used to have many years ago. Mine was a journal, I stopped using it so much when I had another being to share my thoughts with.

“(Y/n)?”

My blood runs cold, I am invading his space. Where is my self control? The book falls from my hands, landing on the bed when I jump in place at the sound of a voice that I missed and longed to hear again. There was no place to hide, no place to busy my eyes so they meet his. They are so bright, brighter than my memory could ever do justice. They seem to shine brighter in the dim lighting, or maybe because they are rimmed with the normal whites of his eyes, not the red that I had unknowingly grown accustomed too.

“I- I’m sorry, I shouldn’t… I should have called first.” My feet were frozen in place. How can he seem to capture my gaze, his size seemingly enchanting. Is he the same Thor as before? Have I forgotten him that much? Memory has not done me a lick of justice in his time away, so much more beautiful when he is walking towards me, contemplating what to say to me. His brows furrowed, eyes bright with curiosity or maybe it was confusion. I should not have come.

“You are here?” His voice is so deep, resonating in the air and conjuring attention.

I am here, I miss you. I needed to see you.

“I’m - uh, I’ll go. Sorry.” I can not look at him, I knew I should not have come. It was selfish of me, my own selfish want beating out while he was trying his best to recover, stay sober. My feet make out to pass him, my head shaking in horror and humiliation, but they are stopped with his grasp over my shoulders.

This is all I wanted and yet it shocks me to my core, a hug. The kind where my senses are drowning in his presence, his smell, the sound of his breathing, his warm hands on my skin. It was all I wanted, but it still takes me a few seconds to return it.

Tears burn my eyes, closing them tight when I melt into him. We were never meant to part for so long, I should be here with him, helping him and encouraging him.

“Please don’t cry, little one. You’ve shed too many tears at my doing, I won’t have it any longer.” These were tears of my own doing, I missed him and I needed him but I left him when he needed me most.

“I’m sorry I left. I shouldn’t have!” His shirt is there to dry my tears. He tries to pull me back but I can not let him go, I need more time with my arms around him, with his body against mine.

“No, you did what was right. I needed to see, you made me see.” I shake my head against his chest, he does not know what he is saying. “Stop. I will not touch another drink Baby, I swear it.” I let him pull me away this time. He means what he is saying, I can hear hear the conviction, he means it.

His blue orbs don’t lie, “I promise a sober me, from now on. I could never hurt you, I-” eyes squint as if trying to shake the memory away. I know what he is thinking, he was afraid to touch me. “I will never hurt you.”

“Okay.” I don’t know what else to say. He’s trying to show me, just like I asked. He is determined, it is written all over him. He has failed many times in his life, but he was not out to fail me. All I want is for him to just kiss me. I have waited long enough, the reassurance was there, and I want him to kiss me already.

“I want to be good for you, little one.” His eyes show a flash of pity, he will not kiss me. “I want to be the best I can be before we continue, you deserve that at least.”

“Okay.”

It was whatever he needed, I want to be there. A few days off of work in a row and I was at his side. We took advantage of the lake, swimming, taking Stark’s jet skis for a spin. We wandered the wooded areas, we layed in the grass while he told tales of the stars, we stood in the clearing while he displays his powers through the skies at my request, it was astonishing. It was pure Thor, in his finest element. No hustle and bustle around us, no ideal to meet, no standards, just himself spending his time wisely with me.

It was Thursday. Thor joined us. Steve and Bucky did not say anything when they noticed his lack of affection save a hand hold or a rub on my shoulders. My obvious pining for his lips when he talked should be more embarrassing than it actually seems to be.

Thor was making amends, waiting until after dinner to apologize to Steve, and thank him all the same. Thor was healing and this is how he was doing it. Bucky and I gave our silence while they talked, it was not something I wanted to reminisce on. The look of betrayal on Thor’s face, the struggle against Steve’s grip, straining to hold him back. It was a flash that took me away from the present, but thrusts me back in with no positive emotion.

Thor took notice of my absence, my hand had froze on his leg. Comfort motions of my thumb coming to a halt when he brought it up. I did not mean to, but it was a face on him that haunted my closed eyes for so long.

I was quick to recover when his hand enveloped mine, this was about him, not me.

The night was good. Thor jokes, he actually snickered and joined in. It spread a sense of hope in my chest. He was here, with me, he was back. Maybe not all the way, but I would give him as much time as he needed, I would be waiting for the ‘sober me’ I was promised.

#Thor x reader #thor x me #thor #thor fanfiction #thor masterlist #thor fic #thor imagine #thor angst #marvel fic #marvel masterlist

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thanks--for--listening · 4 years

Text

all these people think love’s for show (but I would die for you in secret)

yes im finally back with fic! this time its korrasami tho bc my avatar obsession has not let me go yet. and yes its based on peace by taylor swift lol (also on ao3)

I’d give you my sunshine, give you my best, but the rain is always gonna come if you’re standing with me

Korra always came back to the sky. When the noise became too much, when the voices and the faces wouldn’t relent. Staring at the stars made her feel small, reminded her that the world was bigger than the images in her head. It was always changing, the constellations and the colors from the portals shifting as time passed, but in the end that change brought something new. Something good. Something beautiful.

“Can’t sleep?” She turned, saw Asami standing in the doorway, arms wrapped around her stomach. It made her wonder if it was cold out here, if she would even notice anymore. After everything her body had been through, she couldn’t gauge her standards, couldn’t figure out whether she felt something normally or too much or not at all. Did she not feel the chill in the air because she grew up in the South, or because she’d felt the life drain out of her, felt a cold so deep the definition had changed completely? Could she ever care for someone like Asami, someone so perfect and beautiful and normal, when she was so permanently damaged she couldn’t even begin to see the extent of her own scars?

Korra tried to snap out of it, searched for something she could offer her and came up empty. She fought back the urge to light a fire on the balcony floor just to keep her warm as she nodded. Asami sighed, walked up to her until they were standing side by side, arms leaning on the railing in front of them. “Yeah, me neither.”

“You wanna talk about it?” Korra asked.

Asami turned, raised an eyebrow at her. “Do you?” She shook her head, and when Asami laughed, she swore she felt a spark inside her, the embers of a flame that had burned quietly for so long finally finding the space to grow. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

Silence floated in, gentle and easy, leading their attention back to the sky. The whole city seemed to be asleep, everyone exhausted from the past few days. She thought she’d appreciate the moment of relief, but there was something unsettling about staring into the streets and seeing nothing but vines and rubble. She’d spent her entire life used to the empty, to open space with nothing but sky and silence to fill it, but here it looked all wrong. It looked like another thing she’d ruined. Republic City would never go back to what it once was, to what it was supposed to be, to what Aang had dreamed it could be, and it was entirely her fault.

“Hey,” Asami‘s voice nearly startled her. “You okay?” She didn’t understand why she was asking until she followed her gaze, looked down and saw the metal railing bent and broken underneath her hands.

Korra sighed. “I thought when the battle was over, this stuff would get easier. I’m beginning to think it’ll always be this hard.”

“I’m sorry,” Asami said. “I feel like I kept pestering you after Zaheer. Kept trying to get you to talk to me, to let me help you, but now...I can understand why you wouldn’t want to. Why you couldn’t.”

“You have nothing to apologize for. You did everything right. I’m the one who messed that all up.”

“Don’t be silly, of course you didn’t.”

“Yeah, I did. I messed everything up with Zaheer, with Kuvira. With Mako and Tenzin.” She hesitated, before adding, “With you.”

“You haven’t messed anything up with me.”

“But I will.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, this,” Korra gestured toward the yellow beam shooting up into the sky, “isn’t going away. It isn’t going to stop. And as long as you’re with me, you’ll always have to deal with it. And someone as good and kind and wonderful as you shouldn’t have to suffer because you love someone like me.”

“Who said I’m suffering?” Korra glared at her, but Asami didn’t relent, didn’t soften her gaze. “I’m serious. Being with you has only made my life better.”

“Since you met me, you’ve been arrested, captured, stranded in the desert, and forced to fight some of the strongest benders in the world. Oh, and you almost had to sell your company. Let’s not forget that.”

“I also met some amazing people, learned how to take care of myself and my business, and made sure the Sato legacy wouldn’t be associated with hate and fear. You showed me that I could be more than I’d ever thought possible. If I’d never met you, I don’t know who’d I’d be now, but it wouldn’t be me. Not really.”

She didn’t want to say it, didn’t want to let out the words that had been eating away at her since the battle, but she couldn’t keep them in anymore, couldn’t let Asami look at her and not know the truth. “You lost your dad,” Korra said quietly, “because of a monster I created.”

“No. I didn’t. I—“ she bit her lip, and Korra watched as she swallowed, blinked back the tears that she knew would force themselves out sooner or later. “I lost him because he made a choice. To sacrifice himself for the greater good. To fight Kuvira, who you did not create. You stopped her, in a way only you could.”

“I should have stopped her sooner. If I had been stronger, if I had taken her down the first time, if I hadn’t been so weak, maybe—maybe I—“

Korra felt her words disappear, felt tears of her own threaten to make an appearance, but the feeling of Asami’s hands over her own buried whatever emotion had tried to fight it’s way to the surface. She squeezed hard, like she was holding her together, and Korra wondered if maybe she was, if one person could be that strong. If two hands were all it took to keep someone intact. “You are not weak, Korra.” Asami spoke as if she was giving a command, and she felt compelled to listen. “You are the strongest, bravest, most selfless person I know. But even you can’t stop bad things from happening. None of us can.”

“But I’m the Avatar. I’m supposed to help people. Save people.”

“And you have. How many people did you save by creating that spirit portal? By defeating Unalaq? By stopping Zaheer?”

“Yeah, but— I just—“ she searched for the words, found them buried underneath the rubble of every version of herself that came before tonight. “I just wish it didn’t hurt all the time. And I know what Tenzin said, but I wish being me, being with me, didn’t mean a lifetime of desperately trying to prevent bad people from doing bad things. It’s like I’m always fighting, like I’m always gonna be fighting. And I’m so tired, Asami. Sometimes I wish it would all just stop. Not for a day, or a week, but forever.”

They didn’t say anything, not at first. Korra looked down, stared at their hands, still pressed together. She waited for the words she knew would come, waited for Asami to recoil, to tell her it was too much, that she was too much. That she wasn’t worth it. That the brief periods of peace would never be enough to outweigh the pain and suffering that would always follow. And when she did, when she reached her breaking point and walked away, Korra knew she’d let her go. She’d gotten more time than she’d ever expected already — she wouldn’t allow herself to be greedy and ask for more, no matter how badly she wanted to keep those hands wrapped around hers.

“It isn’t fair,” Asami finally said, “that you have to go through this. You didn’t decide to be the Avatar. You didn’t pick this life. But I did. I choose you, Korra. Today, tomorrow, and every day after that. I’m in this no matter what.”

Korra looked up, tried and failed to hide the surprise in her eyes. “Even if it hurts?”

“Even if it hurts. I want it all: the good, the bad, and everything in between.”

Korra hesitated, just for a minute. In her wildest dreams she couldn’t have written this, couldn’t have imagined a world where after everything that happened, Asami wants to stay. Wants her. And maybe it was selfish, and maybe she was damning her to a life that no one should ever have to live, but she couldn’t lie and pretend that she didn’t want her more than anything, couldn’t walk away when she was standing in front of her, couldn’t stop from confessing every secret she’d tried to bury in the name of survival.

“If you’ll let me, I choose you, too. I don’t want to spend my restless nights with anyone else. And I know I can’t give you the life you deserve, but if it’s enough, whatever I have is yours. Always.”

Asami stepped closer, threw her arms around her. Korra fell into them, let herself get lost in the feeling of Asami’s embrace. She felt safe, in a way she didn’t anywhere else. The world couldn’t touch her here.

She didn’t know how long they stood wrapped in each other’s arms. Korra didn’t care— she’d spend a lifetime in this moment if she could. She probably would have tried, if she didn’t hear Asami yawning into her shoulder, didn’t feel exhaustion weighing heavily on her own eyes.

She forced herself to step back, to lean out of her arms just enough to look her in the eyes. “So much for not talking about it, huh?” Korra said, and she knew photos could never do it justice but she wished she had a way to capture the look on Asami’s face when she smiled, when she laughed quietly, just for her to hear.

Asami pulled her closer. “Don’t let go yet,” she sighed into her chest, “You’re warm.”

“We should probably head back inside, anyway — see if we can salvage any more sleep tonight.”

Korra wouldn’t have caught it if Asami hadn’t been wrapped up in her arms; instead, she felt the tension shoot through her body like an echo, until her shoulders went stiff and her hands squeezed a little tighter.

“Asami,” she said slowly. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she answered too quickly. “I just like being out here. I don’t think I’m ready to head inside yet.”

“Asami. Talk to me. Why don’t you want to go back to bed?” She looked at her, really looked at her, and this time she saw the bags under her eyes and the desperation in them, and quietly added, “Did you sleep at all tonight?”

Korra watched her hesitate, and patience had never been her strongest virtue but she willed herself to wait. Her efforts were rewarded; Asami shook her head, stared at the ground and whispered, “I don’t want to see it again.”

“See what ag—oh.” Realization swept over her, and she cursed herself for not putting it together sooner, for not thinking about what could have possibly led her to also be awake in the dead of night. “Oh, Asami. I’m so sorry.”

Asami looked up, and the tears that had threatened earlier fell all too quickly now. Something inside Korra broke at the sight. She pulled her closer on instinct, held her and pretended it would be enough. She wondered if this would be their future, holding each other together to keep them both from falling to pieces, wondered how many nights they’d spend exactly like this, running from nightmares that didn’t disappear when they opened their eyes.

Korra waited until she heard the cries settle, until Asami stopped shaking in her arms, to ask, “Can you tell me about it?”

Asami shook her head. “You’ll blame yourself,” she said, her words decisive, quiet but powerful. “I won’t let you hurt like that.”

“I won’t let you hurt like this, either.”

“You can’t fix everything, Korra.”

“I can try.”

Asami stepped back, looked up at her, and Korra swore she smiled, just a little, just for a second. “It—“ Asami started, searching for words before she continued. “It makes me feel so helpless. The watching, the waiting. Every time I see it I know he’s...that he’s gone, but then you disappear into that machine. And no matter how many times I try and tell myself that it isn’t real anymore, that it’s over, part of me never knows if you’re going to make it out. Not until I wake up and see you for myself.”

There was a war inside her. Korra the Avatar wanted to ball up her fists, wanted to feel her fire burn, wanted to fight the pain away so that Asami would never hurt again. Korra the girl wanted to pull her closer and never let go, wanted to make promises she couldn’t keep just to make her feel better, even if it wouldn’t last. As battle waged within herself, whichever Korra was left behind wanted to ball up and cry. She knew she’d been right, knew that no matter what Asami said, she couldn’t possibly want to hold onto this much pain. She knew that it didn’t matter which Korra won the fight in the end — not a single version of her was worth it.

“I’m sorry,” Korra finally said. She had a million other apologies sitting at the tip of her tongue but she forced them back.

Asami read her mind anyway. “Not your fault,” she said. “I’ll remind you every time if you need me to.”

“Still. I’m sorry you’re hurting.”

Asami sighed, as if the very admission of her pain was something to be frustrated about. “I don’t understand why it hurts this much, though. A month ago we weren’t even on speaking terms. I spent years hating him for what he did. And I was right. He did so many awful things to so many people, and a few games of Pai Sho can’t make up for that. So why can’t I stop seeing him?”

“He was still your father, Asami. All those years he spent raising you don’t just go away. You have a right to be sad about what you lost.”

“That’s the thing, Korra,” she said quietly, like she didn’t trust the words coming out of her mouth. “Sometimes, I’m not sure I’m sad. I’m mad. I’m mad that he went against everything he ever taught me. I’m mad that he fought for someone who hated what you are. I’m mad that he left me alone, that he didn’t even give me the choice.”

Korra reached for her again, searched for any words that could have possibly helped but came up empty, left only with a mantra of apologies that would never fill the hole left behind. She knew that feeling, understood with brutal clarity what it felt like to lose her agency, to be left at the will of those around her when she was the one who would suffer the consequences. It was a feeling she wouldn’t wish on anyone. And as she stood there, Asami’s head on her chest, she knew that she could never be the one to make her feel that way. Stay, leave, fight, run — no matter what she wanted, it could never be up to her.

“I’m sorry.” Asami’s voice broke through her own internal ramblings.

Korra failed to hide her incredulity. “What could you possibly have to be sorry for?”

“I came out here to try and help you, and then I turned and made it all about myself.”

“Oh, stop it.”

“I’m serious, Korra.”

“So am I. You think I have the monopoly on pain? That I’m the only person who can ever be comforted?” She stepped back, placed her hands on the side of her face and made sure she was staring right into her eyes as she said, “I love you Asami, and that means that I’ll always be here to listen, or hold you, or do whatever it is you need. Anytime, anywhere.”

Asami smiles back at her. “I love you, too.”

“And,” Korra added, “as much as I wish I could keep you away from all the shit that comes with being me, I promise I’ll never take the choice away from you. If you want in, you’re in. If you want me, I’m yours.”

Asami leaned forward, kissed her cheek, and Korra thought she might burst into flames right there on the balcony. “Thank you,” she whispered.

They stood there for a minute, and she knew they should head back inside but she wanted one more moment of whatever this was. Peace, maybe, or something like it. Something close enough.

“We really should go back inside,” she finally conceded, “but I think I have an idea.” She stepped forward, held her hand out behind her. “Trust me?”

Asami reached for it without hesitation. “Always.”

Korra smiled, led her back into her temporary bedroom, held onto her until they were laying side by side, with just an inch of space between them.

“You said when you wake up, you never know if I made it out. If I’m okay. This way you’ll know.”

“I bet you use that line on all the girls,” Asami said, and she could hear the smile in her voice, but she couldn’t help herself from responding seriously.

“There’s no one else. Never has been. Just you.”

Asami erased the space between them, moved so her head rested on Korra’s shoulder, and she wondered how it had taken her so long to realize how well they fit together, how she could have possibly lived so long in a world without this.

“Does it ever go away?” Asami asked after a minute, her voice drifting away from their lighthearted jokes, soft and sad and lacking the hope Korra wished she could give her.

She thought of her own ghosts, of the scenes that played in her head like clockwork, of the way she could still find herself choking on air as she opened her eyes. She thought about the more recent additions, the way Kuvira had swapped places with Zaheer the past few nights, haunting her as relentlessly as her predecessor. “I don’t know. But it does get easier, after a while.”

“I wish I could have been there to help you. I wish I didn’t stay when you left. I wish—“

“You’re here now. That’s all that matters to me.”

They laid there for a few minutes, and here, when it was just them, Korra felt the silence return. It didn’t carry the weight of the world, didn't bring anything with it. It simply filled the space around them, provided a comfort she wasn’t used to.

“Korra,” Asami whispered. “Is it okay if I’m still scared?”

“Yeah. Is it okay if I am, too?” She felt Asami nod. “Then we’ll take on the night together. Fear and all.”

“Even if it hurts?”

She couldn’t stop herself from smiling, even as she felt her eyes close, her arms pulling Asami closer still. “Even if it hurts.”

#please let me know what u think a bitch thrives on validation from others #korrasami #atla #tlok #TFLAO3 #fanfic #korra #asami sato #the legend of korra #legend of korra

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okaybutlikeimagine · 5 years

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3 with mike??

3. a song tied to a specific moment in your life

{TW: mentions of survivor’s guilt}

hello there! okay so i feel like the initial thought here is to do something w/ mileven bc.... canon. we all know canon.

but THEN i was like: I 100% agree w/ the people who say that Mike and Will have 1. been in each other’s lives for so long 2. are so dedicated to each other 3. care about each other so much that it’s NEARLY insane that I was like, maybe I should do Byeler.

BUT THEN i was thinking about how deprived we are of Nancy and Mike being siblings.

bc I have a real damn bad relationship w/ my sister. We just don’t get along by any means of the word, we are in no way, shape, or form compatible, and it’s so hard to exist around her w/o wanting to just.... scratch my eyes out. but I WANT to have a good sibling relationship and it makes me upset that the only really good, supportive sibling relationship we see is Will and Jonathan (which is why i adore writing Billy and Max) so I’m going to fix that because!!!! shared trauma, my guys!!!!

Mike and Nancy have shared trauma!! everyone does, everyone went through some goddamn bullshit at very young ages, esp in the first season, but i just need everyone to think about the parallels here. and I’m sure people have pointed them out, but both Mike and Nancy thought they lost their close childhood friends. (?? not 100% sure how long Nancy knew Barb for but it’s a damn small town so probably a very long time) Except, Mike got his friend back and Nancy had to watch, fully knowing that she would never get that same reunion. That she would never get to see Barb’s mother and father hug her tight like that again. That she would never be able to smile and laugh and share jokes w/ her friend again and not because of anything normal but bc their town is FUCKED and some goddamn supernatural thing that’s barely fucking tangible to her has taken Barb away. That she fucking died cold and alone and afraid and feeling so unwanted. Imagine the survivor’s guilt Nancy was feeling immediately after??

and I know the whole “Justice for Barb” thing got a little out of control and I’d agree that it did as well, they definitely could have done it better than just cutting Nancy and Jonathan off from the group bc Memes, but I think that portraying some kind of survivor’s guilt was important.

and I just... think that Mike would see this pain. Mike is The most emotional boy of the group. He’s emotional and slightly dramatic and just doesn’t shy away from his feelings so I 100% think that Mike would see Nancy’s pain.

so ANYWAY i want us all to think about Nancy listening to a mixtape Jonathan made for her after this whole thing went down. and on it is the song Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word - Elton John. (and we can talk about other reasons why Jonathan would put this song on the mixtape, SURE, but y’know when you listen to a sad song and specifically pick out the lines that pertain to what you’re sad about right now?? that’s what Nancy is doing.)

and it’s playing pretty loudly and Mike can hear it from down the hallway as he’s headed to his room. And he kind of tip toes his way over to Nancy’s room and hears her sobs. He’s a little surprised that he can hear it over the music but he hears them. They sound deep and consuming and miserable. He knocks lightly, hears a hiccup, and opens the door slowly to see-

His sister. Nancy. Curled up sitting on her bed, knees pulled into her chest and chin laying on her arm. Her eyes, red and puffy and shiny, turn to Mike, before she rubs her face on her arm to get rid of all of the wetness gathered at her cheeks.

And Mike walks slow, real slow, bc he’s never seen Nancy this upset before, this absolutely broken before, and it’s putting too much pressure in his chest. It feels awful. He can see the stress and sadness in her eyebrows as she sits there and looks away from him like she’s embarrassed. But she shouldn’t be. He knows she shouldn’t be.

Because Mike isn’t stupid. He can see it’s been hard.

and yes, he was a little blinded for a bit about the fact that he got his friend back, his absolute best friend back, a little blinded about the fact that he still lost this amazing new girl that he grew so much love and care for, and couldn’t exactly see the situation of everything else. Couldn’t see the people around him, even if they were only a few doors down from his room. Couldn’t see Nancy never changing out of her pajamas, not going to school for a good week, wearing the same sweater every day because it was the one she wore when she went out with Barb for the last time and if she wore it maybe Barb would come back. Couldn’t see that same sweater in their trash can a few weeks later because Nancy couldn’t bear to wear it anymore knowing that Barb was never going to come back.

He became a little deaf too. A little deaf to the cries of Nancy after school. A little deaf to the way she’d yell at their mom when she got a little too overwhelmed. A little deaf to the things she listened to.

but it became clear. The fog lifted and it became abundantly clear to Mike that this was Nancy mourning. Grieving. Wailing in the night in the quietest way possible. Bc while some people probably would want to wail, Nancy hid. She hid and she curled up and she cried. Ever the tough one. Ever the girl with the shield shaped like her school binder.

But now here she is and the memory will forever be burned in Mike’s mind bc there’s Nancy absolutely torn. Unraveled and tumbling towards nothing with no one but her thoughts. And Mike can feel the sadness in the room as he crawls up into her bed with her and sits next to her. Lets Elton John sing ~What do I do when lightning strikes me? And I wake to find that you’re not there.~

And Nancy sobs a little more and Mike watches his sister and feels it all inside of him. Because he felt this too. he felt that all consuming horror in his chest when Will was missing. When Will’s body was found. When El said there was a sign. When everything was happening and every day it got harder to believe any chance of hope but he felt more desperate to try and believe it. But he got the happy ending. Mike got the best possible scenario and it’s hard to be blind of that anymore. He’s not blind to it anymore bc he’s living with someone who got the opposite.

And Mike lays his head on Nancy’s shoulder, trying to give any kind of support because the song is right... ~What do I say when it’s all over? And sorry seems to be the hardest word~

Because Mike does feel sorry. Some part of him feels sorry that Will was alive and Barb wasn’t. That they both couldn’t be alive. That he’s here able to keep living with his best friend while Nancy has to watch Will come over and know Barb will never again walk through those doors and accept one of Mrs. Wheeler’s cookies with a polite smile on her face.

But he also feels like he shouldn’t say it. He’s not really sorry that Will is alive. He doesn’t know what he’s feeling. He’s just... so distraught over seeing his sister this way. And he knows the situation is sad and absurd and... insane. Something that no one at their ages should ever have to face but that doesn’t take the pain away so Mike just sits there, laying his head on Nancy’s shoulder and feeling her own head and face turns towards the top of his head, sobbing into it. And they sit there, and Nancy plays the song over and over and Mike lets her. Mike sits and listens and feels himself start to cry with her because this whole thing has been so fucked up and they need each other. And they’re both so happy to have each other.

#and we need more of the wheeler siblings!!!!#mike wheeler #nancy wheeler #stranger things #ask #anonymous #music #i dunno #i think it's important to portray them bc we just don't and we should!!!#we 100% should!!!!!!!!#i dunno if some people do #maybe i'm not looking hard enough #but the wheeler siblings would so be there for each other #jonathan and will can't have the only healthy sibling relationship in the show c'mon now #angst

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anotherkpopvictim · 5 years

Text

All That You Are (Is All That I’ll Ever Need) - VHope Littlespace Drabble

(Source - taegidda)

Request from starbabiebangtan on tumblr: “Vhope bc i cant resist baby Tae sndjdjdjdj I’m sorry LOL But another Vhope, where Taehyung is insecure because of how he feels like he looks more like a daddy to Hoseok than the other way around bc of him being taller and having a deeper voice than Hobi. Hobi does his best to reassure him that he is his little baby no matter what, and continues to go ahead and love on his baby and it causes him to regress v young bc im a sucker for baby space as well 🥺 ”

A/N: this sounded very interesting! I hope I did your request justice :P And thank you for all the awesome ideas you’ve given me!!

Also, the title is from Tenerife Sea by Ed Sheeran.

Pairing: Little!Taehyung X Caregiver!Hoseok

Rating: T (swearing, panic attack)

Words: 3250

Hurt/comfort, fluff

WARNINGS: Taehyung has a panic attack in this. It is not very detailed, but I don’t want to trigger anyone.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Taehyung and Hoseok had been together for forever.

Okay, two years officially, but they had also gone through a phase of what the rest of the BTS members had dubbed “everyone else knew you two were together except you” for about four or five years (forever), which wasn't completely untrue. Jimin and Jungkook could vouch for that – they made sure their fellow maknae line member understood just how much pining they witnessed from Taehyung. Hyung line said the same about Hoseok.

But their incorrect feelings of unrequited love didn't matter anymore, because they were very happily boyfriends now. Sure, they had been through their fights just like any other couple did, but in the end, they loved each other in a way that no one could deny and they always orbited back to each other.

More than boyfriends, Hoseok was also Taehyung's caregiver when he slipped into littlespace. The older had a soft spot for the little and their friends always made fun of him for it, calling him “whipped”. Any time that happened, Taehyung would assure his hyung that he was very happy he loved little Tae so much (Hoseok would then puff his chest out like a gorilla, all proud, and it was so adorable honestly Taehyung couldn’t handle it sometimes).

As their Love Yourself: Tear album promotions came around, the two of them were in a place where they were completely comfortable and happy with each other. They hadn’t even had a real fight in months.

So, of course, just as they relaxed, something else came up that threw them off-kilter - this time in the form of insecurities.

It was during a fan sign that it really began. Taehyung and Hoseok just happened to be seated next to each other, and they were very careful to keep their closeness to a friend level. It wasn’t often that management allowed them to sit next to each other, and they weren’t about to mess up the chance they’d finally been given just because they couldn’t keep their heart eyes to themselves for a few hours.

A girl around twenty years old, who introduced herself as Jisoo, was in line to get their autographs and talk to them for their forty-five second time frame. When she reached Hoseok (the second last in the row of seats) she smiled brightly, showing off her cute smile. “You guys are so inspiring!” she gushed, “Thank you for promoting self-love, it's really helped me.”

The lead dancer couldn't help but grin back at her, “I'm glad. You guys have helped us achieve so many of our goals, and we want to use our success to spread a good message to everyone.”

Hoseok passed the girl's poster of all the members (now signed everywhere apart from below Taehyung's picture) over to the second youngest beside him, and they let their hands linger a little longer than they probably should have. Sometimes they really couldn’t help it.

Taehyung gave his hyung a quick side smile, more meaning behind the small action than anyone else could see.

“Oh my gosh! You guys are so cute! VHope for the win!” Jisoo held up a fist in a “fighting!” motion, a teasing grin on her face as she watched the two of them.

“Oh,” Taehyung chuckled, looking away to properly sign her poster. “Thank you.”

“And your size difference is adorable!” she said, now gaining Taehyung's sole attention as Hoseok moved on to the next fan in line. “Hoseok looks so tiny next to you, I bet you could pick him up without any trouble.”

Maybe it was a little odd to say something like that, a little straightforward, but Taehyung got the feeling that Jisoo was the kind of girl to speak her mind.

“Y-Yeah,” Taehyung silently cursed himself for stuttering, but he was a little taken aback by the comment. He knew Jisoo didn't mean anything bad by it, but it made Taehyung's brain start going into overdrive, just like it always did when all he could think about were his insecurities.

She was right; Taehyung and Hoseok were definitely different in size, but not like Jimin and Namjoon were. There was only about two inches difference in height between the lead dancer and the vocalist, but Taehyung was undoubtedly more broad than his hyung. So yes, Taehyung was naturally bigger than Hoseok was, but he'd never really thought about it before now.

Did Hoseok have a hard time picking him up sometimes, like he did quite often in littlespace? Did Hoseok think it was weird that the bigger person between the two of them was also the one to regress into a child-like headspace sometimes?

No, Taehyung told himself, stopping his thoughts abruptly, Hoseok loved him too much for that. He would never hold something so insignificant against him.

...Right?

“It was so nice to meet you, Jisoo,” Taehyung replied, the smile on his face feeling a little more put on than before. “I hope you continue to support us. We will do the best we can for you!”

Despite his best efforts, the thoughts plagued the second youngest for the rest of the day. He had to hide his mood from Hoseok and Jimin, and managed to evade them by saying he wasn’t feeling well and hiding in his room.

But that was it.

After that day, Taehyung was thrown headfirst into preparing for their repackaged album release and another tour. He didn’t have time to really think about anything, let alone the moment with Jisoo at the fan sign, but it was still there, admittedly, in the back of his mind.

------------------------------------------------------

“Jeon Jungkook, if you don’t get down here this instant!-”

A smirking maknae looked down from his spot on the tree branch...thirty feet up in the air. At the base of the tree stood an extremely unimpressed Seokjin with his hands on his hips.

“What are you going to do, hyung?” Jungkook asked tauntingly, “Are you going to put me in time out?”

Seokjin narrowed his eyes, “No, but I will take away your television rights for two weeks, in or out of littlespace.”

Jungkook gasped, looking a little more scared now, “You wouldn’t. You love little me too much.”

“Try me, bitch.”

With an overly exaggerated whine of annoyance, Jungkook began his trek back down the tree.

“Be careful!” Namjoon shouted, joining Jin at the base of the tree. “If you fall and get hurt management is going to kill me!”

“Is that all you’re worried about, hyung?” Taehyung asked, a smirk on his lips as he looked on from a nearby lounge chair, “Not that Jungkook could get hurt, but that management would kill you if he did?”

Namjoon turned away from the tall tree to glare at the younger and smack him over the head. “Brat.”

“My brat!” Hoseok burst out of the doors of their accommodations and pushed Namjoon out of the way so he could cuddle his injured baby in his arms. “Don’t hit him, Namjoon!”

As Namjoon grumbled under his breath and walked off, Hoseok pressed a kiss to the back of a pouting Taehyung’s head. It didn’t even really hurt all that much, as Namjoon hadn’t hit that hard, but Taehyung was enjoying his boyfriend’s attention too much to tell him that.

All the members of BTS were spending a rare few days off between tour dates, and currently, they were in Chicago. Management had rented a cabin-like house on the outskirts of the city for their three-day stay.

“TAEHYUNG!” Jimin screamed as he came running out of the house.

“SOULMATE!” Taehyung screamed, sitting up from his hyung’s embrace like a meerkat scoping out the land.

Jimin jumped on top of the Taehyung-Hoseok pile, causing the two on the bottom to grunt at the sudden added weight.

“Jimin...” Hoseok whined, weakly using his partially trapped hands to push the younger off of them.

The attacker backed off with a wicked grin, “Sorry, hyung!” (He didn’t sound all that sorry).

“What did you need, soulmate?” Taehyung asked, sitting up properly and fixing his messed up hair.

“Oh,” Jimin said like he just remembered why he’d come here in the first place, “Yoongi thinks he has a lower voice than you, so I need you to prove him wrong.”

“What?” Taehyung chuckled.

“You obviously have the lowest voice out of all of us! I just need you to sing a lower note than him so I can get my ten-thousand won.”

Taehyung shrugged, standing up from the lounge chair and starting to follow his eager best friend into the house. The others were only a few feet behind them.

“Taehyung’s voice is definitely lower than Yoongi’s,” Jungkook stated, “I’ll bet twenty-thousand won!”

Namjoon snorted, “You’re on, dumbass. Yoongi’s totally going to win.”

Jin and Hoseok rolled their eyes and looked at each other with matching expressions that said “Idiots”.

They all entered the living room to find Yoongi lounging on the couch, typing away at the keyboard on his laptop. The oldest rapper looked up at the sudden noise and frowned, unimpressed, when he saw all of them filing into the room. “You actually got them, Jimin? Seriously?”

“We made a bet and I’m eager to get some ice cream with the money I’m going to win,” Jimin replied, arms crossed and chin in the air.

Yoongi rolled his eyes, “Whatever. Alright, Tae, let’s go.”

Taehyung and Yoongi proceeded to have a low note battle, while five other pairs of eyes watched on in fascination. It started off easily, but as the notes got lower and lower, Taehyung noticed Yoongi beginning to really struggle to make a noise.

It was Taehyung who won in the end (much to Jungkook and Jimin’s delight and Yoongi and Namjoon’s disappointment) and he smirked as Jimin dragged a sulking Yoongi out the front door and to the corner store down the street. Namjoon slapped the twenty-thousand won into Jungkook’s awaiting palm a little harder than necessary, but the maknae decided not to say anything about it because he had some beautiful money in his possession. (A/N: bts forgetting they’re millionaires part 382750????)

“Ooh, listen to my baby’s sexy voice!” Hoseok exclaimed, sliding up to Taehyung from behind and wrapping his arms around his waist, lips pressing a kiss to his right ear. “So deep and hot as fuck.”

Taehyung chuckled and turned his head a bit so his boyfriend could kiss him on the lips, “Thanks, Seokie.”

The moment was ruined when a certain maknae fake gagged and yelled, “EW!”

All his bandmates (minus Jimin and Yoongi) began complimenting his deep voice. Taehyung accepted the praise with a smile and a light pink blush on his cheeks.

It wasn’t until later that night (because night was the time to reflect on the day) that Taehyung thought about it again.

He never particularly loved his voice like so many did, sometimes he wished that his voice wasn’t so low. Maybe it was because a lot of the comments he saw said things like “Taehyung’s voice is so sexy! He’s such a daddy!” and “V’s looks and his deep voice just scream “she calls me daddy too”” and other things that were a little more...explicit. Now, Taehyung adored these compliments, even the extremely dirty ones, because they were from his fans, but his little side didn’t like it one bit.

The moment with the fan (Jisoo, he recalled) from nearly half a year ago popped back up in his head. Hoseok was smaller than him, and Taehyung had a deeper voice too. Hoseok always told him how much he loved his deep voice, but Taehyung was a little, was it strange for someone in a four-year-old’s headspace to sound like a grown man?

Jimin and Jungkook, who were also littles, didn’t really have to worry about that with their caregivers - Jimin had a naturally high voice and Jungkook easily spoke in a tone reminiscent of a child.

Surely Hoseok had noticed their differences and probably thought about them. Did he hate them and was just too nice to tell Taehyung how uncomfortable it made him? Did he resent Taehyung for being so...strange?

Taehyung stood up from his bed and stumbled from his room to the bathroom across the hallway. He felt a tightness in his throat and a buzzing in his ears suddenly as he slammed through the door. He knew it was the start of a panic attack, and he tried his best to calm himself down with deep breaths. He splashed some cold water onto his face, uncaring that it wet his bangs. His hands then gripped the edge of the counter as his thoughts began to spin out of his control.

He needed Hoseok and he needed him now.

Like a miracle, a knocking from the door broke through the buzzing in Taehyung’s ears. He couldn’t speak, so he just made a sound, something that came out like a mix between a groan and a whine.

And then Jin was by his side on the ground (when had he fallen to the floor?) and holding his shoulders gently. The older was speaking to him probably, but Taehyung couldn’t hear him, could barely see him through the tears forming in his eyes.

Jin turned and shouted something over his shoulder and then a few moments later a frazzled looking Hoseok appeared in the doorway.

Taehyung’s eyes seemed to only be able to focus on his Daddy’s worried gaze as he hurried over to him.

“-Baby!” was the first word Taehyung heard from Hoseok, “I need you to follow my breaths, okay?” The older grabbed Taehyung’s hands and placed them on his own chest, beginning to exaggerate deep breaths for the younger to follow along to.

Taehyung tried his best to take in deep breaths and in a few minutes, he felt his heart rate decreasing from where it was in near hyperspeed. “’M sorry, Daddy” he said, his voice weak from his tense throat.

Hoseok shushed him and moved to wrap his arms securely around him, leaning them both against the bathroom cabinets. “You don’t ever have to be sorry for having a panic attack, Taehyungie,” he sounded a little out of breath, but completely sincere. “What’s going on, bub?”

“TaeTae sad!” Taehyung blurted before he could stop it - little him had always been more open about his feelings.

“Well, we can’t have that, can we?” Hoseok replied, “Why are you sad, baby?”

“TaeTae too...TaeTae too...sexy...” the younger mumbled the last word in embarrassment.

Hoseok looked shocked, “What?”

“TaeTae b-bigger than Daddy...a-and he have low voice...TaeTae is bad little!” Taehyung burst into tears, moving to bury his face in his hyung’s chest.

“Oh, my baby,” Hoseok cooed, “You are not a bad little. You’re Daddy’s best boy.”

Taehyung stayed in his hiding place and shook his head vehemently, hands clutching the fabric of the older’s t-shirt.

Hoseok held him closely and pressed a fond kiss to the top of his head. “Do you think I don’t like you because of your deep voice and your height?”

“TaeTae weird.”

“No, TaeTae is unique,” Hoseok corrected, pulling the little away from his chest so he could see the sincerity in his expression. “Baby, I love you so much, exactly the way you are.”

“D-Daddy don’t think it’s weird TaeTae don’t look like a baby or sound like a baby?” the younger inquired, big eyes looking up at his hyung with hope.

Hoseok smiled and booped his nose. “No, sweetie, Daddy doesn’t think it’s weird.”

“D-Daddy doesn’t hurt himself picking TaeTae up?” he asked.

The older frowned jokingly, “Hey! I’m very strong, you know! Of course I can pick up my baby.”

Taehyung would have laughed if the situation were any different, but as it was, he couldn’t help but burst into tears once more - this time, though, they were happy tears. “TaeTae love Daddy.”

“Love you too, bub,” Hoseok replied, one of his arms moving so he could rub up and down the little’s back soothingly. “So, so much.”

Taehyung hiccuped through some more tears as the reassurance filled him with a familiar warmth and calmness. His eyes brightened just a little bit more and his hands shook as he grappled at the older’s shirt. “D-D-Dada.”

Hoseok’s smile grew at the new name, indicating that the younger had slipped into babyspace. Taehyung had to feel extremely safe to fall into such a deep headspace, and the older didn’t mind because baby Taehyung was just as adorable as every other Taehyung. “Hi, baby.”

The younger still had tears shining in his big, bright eyes, but he smiled through them cutely, “Dada!”

Hoseok attacked his face with kisses, causing the baby to giggle uncontrollably. When he pulled away again, the older said, “Now, TaeTae was supposed to be sleeping, but how about we go see if anyone is still awake and wants to watch some cartoons with us?”

Taehyung didn’t respond, but Hoseok had expected that - he was too young to fully comprehend his words. The other just looked at him like he hung the stars in the sky, like Hoseok was the younger’s everything (that wasn’t actually all that far off from what the baby was thinking).

After hitching the baby easily onto his hip, Hoseok stood up and made his way out of the bathroom and back to the bedroom. He laid Taehyung on the soft bed and moved to grab a cute tan puppy onesie from the boy’s suitcase. He kept a close eye on the baby, who was beginning to wiggle around on the bed curiously.

After grabbing a pacifier from the emergency little bag (thank god he had remembered it) Hoseok returned to his baby and slipped the rubber teat effortlessly between his lips. Taehyung blinked up at him and suckled at the pacifier as he watched Hoseok change him.

The older secured a diaper around the little’s waist and worked on zipping him into his adorable puppy onesie.

When he was finished, Hoseok took a moment to look down at Taehyung. The baby looked so cute it was almost too much to handle...so, naturally, Hoseok snapped a picture and sent it to their group chat.

MEMETAN (MuscleBunny - Jungkook, SmolBoi - Jimin, Dimples - Namjoon, JHoe - Hoseok, TongueTechnology - Yoongi, MrWorldWideHandsome - Seokjin)

JHoe: anyone who wants to join baby taetae and me for some cartoons is welcome to come to the living room

JHoe: *attached image*

MrWorldwideHandsome: omg *gasp* he’s so cute!!!!!!!!!!!!

SmolBoi: lol Jungkooks running naruto style there now and im right behind him

MuscleBunny: i csll dibbs on cuddlin the babu!111

Dimples: me too!!!

MrWorldwideHandsome: what about you yoongi?

TongueTechnology: yea ok I’m coming too

SmolBoi: dont act so tsundere yoongi

SmolBoi: we all know you have a soft spot for baby taetae

TongueTechnology: oh yea like you don’t all have one too

JHoe: taetae is very excited to see you all :)

Dimples: we’d better watch some good fucking cartoons or I’m out though

MrWorldwideHandsome: yea like Clifford or Paw Patrol!!!!!

SmolBoi: we all know taetaes gonna be the one to pick

JHoe: update:

JHoe: Jungkook has arrived in the living room and has slipped into littlespace

JHoe: he’s now cuddling with baby taetae

Dimples: OMG IVE GOTTA SEE THIS

TongueTechnology: IM ON MY WAY FOR THE OVERLOAD OF CUTENESS

MrWorldwideHandsome: uwu!

SmolBoi: those two will be the death of me with how adorable they are

JHoe: the cuddle pile is waiting :)

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A/N: not my favorite ending, but yeah.

Tell me what you thought of me adding some background couples and extra OT7 cuteness! I thought I’d try something a bit different this time.

If you would like to request a BTS littlespace drabble, you can go to my Request Guidelines page :)

I love you guys!

#bts #bts littlespace #bts little space #bts v #bts taehyung #bts jhope #bts hoseok #kim taehyung #jung hoseok #bts drabble #bts drabbles #bts fanfic #bts fanfics #bts fanfiction #bts vhope #vhope

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professional-benaddict · 6 years

Note

How about Mtf candy whore! peter laying on a table and mafiaboss!tony threatening one of his men that he can either take 5 shots to each leg or eat his little peter out nice and good and he’ll consider letting him live

bRUHHHH IM SCREAMING

tHis has been in my inbox forever bc feel like I couldn't do this brilliant idea any justice sksksk now I am more or less happy with it but it got quite long sorry sorry ssksks

Mafiaboss!Tony, 18+ ftm Peter, daddy kink, oral sex, guns, threats and use of violence, blood

——————

The meeting room was deathly silent. It was like the air was being sucked out, causing the otherwise cool room to run hot and everyone present flushed with the heat. However, no one dared to move an inch to loosen their shirt collar. Tony, calm and collected, was sat at the head of the table, like always, studying the five men in front of him. All of them were under his command, either by oath, pay check or a promise that their little daughter of 6 years old would return home from school to her mother safely. Today, only one of them was taking the worst of the heat where he stood a step closer to the boss than the four others. The man in question was Mr Fawler, a bulky but fit man like the rest. However, unlike the rest, Mr Fawler had failed to do his job, twice.

Usually, Tony would leave this task to his right hand, Stephen, but he was on the other side of the country representing Tony’s interests. So, the boss had to deal with Mr Fawler himself, which he found incredibly tedious considering he had no family that could be used against him. So originally, Tony had planned on eliminating the man right away, but a little devil on his shoulder had whispered a brilliant suggestion into his ear at the beginning of the meeting, which he had just presented to Mr Fawler.

”You want me to do what?” Mr Fawler stuttered out, growing deathly pale where he stood, despite the clammy atmosphere.

”I said, take five shots to each leg or eat my boy out till he comes. Are you death now too? How did you even pass the screening test? You are fucking useless. So, how’s it gonna be? Don’t make me repeat myself or I am really gonna fucking lose it.”

“Daddy, please, don’t be mad.” Peter whined where he was sat on the edge of the table, long skinny legs dangling back and forth. In his mouth he had a lollipop, which he sucked on teasingly, popping his mouth and smacking his glossy lips noisily. The boy was not dressed in much, just a black silk robe with an incredibly detailed green snake embroidered at the back. The silky material stopped mid thigh and was tied around his waist lazily, leaving a lot of creamy skin exposed. The robe was a souvenir that Tony had brought from China, thinking the boy would look stunning it in. Born in the year of the snake, Peter adored the gift and wore it most often out of all his silk robes that Tony had got him. Tony’s men were not allowed to gawk at his boy, no matter what he was dressed in or what he was doing, but that was a tough task when Peter looked as delicious as he did where he sat in his robe, sucking on candy with a little grin on his face.

“Forgive me, honey bear, didn’t mean to startle you.” Tony spoke softly, placing a rough hand on the boy’s much softer thigh before turning his attention back to Mr Fawler. The man gulped loudly before answering.

“I’ll take the second option.”

“Excellent!” Tony cheered, clapping his hands together and Mr Fawler flinched. It looked like he was ready to pass out. “Pete, my sweet, if you don’t mind.” The boss said sweetly to his boy who nodded eagerly in response.

With graceful fingers, Peter untied his silk robe, letting it slip down from his bony shoulders and pool around him on the table. Spreading his skinny and creamy thighs, Peter presented his boy-cunt to everyone present in the room. He was already glistening with wetness, his labia pink and smooth, just the way Tony wanted him. Taking the lollipop out of his mouth, Peter brought the candy to his cunt, swirling it around his clit with a soft moan. Everyone watched transfixed as the boy toyed with himself and with a louder moan, Peter pushed the lollipop into his cunt.

“Baby-“ Tony was about to protest, but the boy pulled the candy out of himself and shoved it into Tony’s open mouth, silencing him in the process. Everyone was stunned, as literally no one could get away with putting the boss in such a spot. Or nearly everyone, as Peter wore a smirk on his face, knowing he was the only one who could.

“Yes, Daddy?” The boy asked coyly. The boss chuckled darkly, grasping the little plastic stick in his mouth with his thumb and pointy finger. He swirled the round candy in his mouth, sucking off the taste of his boy’s cunt before removing the candy from his mouth.

“Nothing, baby.” The boss said huskily, before glaring at Mr Fawler, who had failed at his job for the third time. If it weren’t for Peter, Tony would have shot him by now. “Get on it with it, for God’s sake! My boy has to get himself off here because you are so useless.”

Snapping into action at the boss’ tone, Mr Fawler got down on his knees in front of Peter. He placed his hands on each of the boy’s thighs before beginning to place kisses around his inner thighs, however Peter was not delighted by that as his hands were cold and the boy gave his Daddy a frown.

“You’re the boss, baby.” Tony assured and retrieved his gun from the strap under his suit jacket, cocking it before lowering it to rest on his thigh. “If he eats you out and makes you cum as well as I can, then I’ll let him live, okay? But if he isn’t good to you, sweetness, then just say the word and Daddy will take care of it, okay?”

Peter smiled sweetly at that, leaning back on the palms of his hands to give Mr Fawler full access to his cunt. On the contrary, Mr Fawler visibly tensed at what Tony said, even though he technically wasn’t talking to him. Still, it was about him and hesitantly he moved to lick long strides up the boy’s cunt to warm him up.

“No one makes me feel as good as you, Daddy.” Peter corrected with a giggle and batted his lashes like the little devil he was, barely paying any attention to the man between his legs. He wasn’t very good anyway, Peter could tell that already, but he liked the game they were playing.

“I know, baby.”

If Mr Fawler was eating out like it was his last day, which it really was, then he didn’t care for his life as much as his pleas suggested. The man was clumsy with his tongue and seemed to know nothing about how to pleasure someone with a cunt, licking here and there randomly and completely missing out on the real deal, which was Peter’s clit. Now and then, Mr Fawler would brush against Peter’s sensitive bud, getting a satisfied moan out of the boy, but he had no rhythm in his technique and the boy huffed in disappointment whenever the man trailed back to his clumsy ways. Tony caught onto this quickly, knowing what noises his boy was capable of making when he truly felt good. Peter’s silence while Mr Fawler was in between his thighs just made him even more convinced of the guard’s incompetence.

Suddenly, Peter yelped and bent forwards, shoving Mr Fawler away from himself in the process. Tony was up in a flash, cocked gun pointed at the soon to be retired guard who was now on the floor, hands in the air and a pleading look on his face.

“Please, boss! I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” The man babbled, his voice shaky and thick like he was going to cry very soon. Tony scoffed at him, gun still pointed at him with a steady hand and the other wrapping around his boy’s waist protectively.

“He used his teeth.” Peter pouted, clinging onto Tony like a koala. “I don’t like him, Daddy.” He finally said, growing tired of this game and just wanted his Daddy’s skilled lips and tongue on his wet cunt already.

“I did not! It was an accident, I swear! Give me another chance, please, boss? I swear, I’ll do whatever-“ Mr Fawler cut his rambling of nonsense short when he saw the ice cold look in the boss´ eyes. It was one of pure rage, one that dared the other to talk or do anything. It was a look that few lived long enough to tell others about.

“You heard my boy, he’s the boss.” Tony said simply, using his free hand to turn Peter’s head and cover his eyes. With his other hand, he moved his pointy finger to the trigger and pulled it. The concrete room echoed with the sharp sound of the firing gun and was followed by the soft thud of Mr Fawler’s body hitting the floor. Tony nor any of the four remaining guards flinched, but Peter did and clung onto his Daddy, keeping his eyes tightly shut even with his Daddy’s large hand covering his eyes.

Peter had seen someone get shot, once, and he had gotten really upset, whining to Tony that he never ever wanted to see something like that again. The infamously cruel and ruthless boss had apologised hastily, barking at his men to get the corpse out of their sight. Now, Tony gave the same order.

“Get him out of here.” Tony said with a bored tone, gesturing at the corpse on the floor with his gun lazily. He didn’t let go of Peter until the four guards had dragged the corpse out of the room, closing the room behind them and leaving the boss alone with his boy.

“Ew.” Peter giggled at the wide trail of blood on the floor, one that started by the pool of crimson by the table, circled around the table and lead to the doorway where it stopped. “He really wasn’t good.”

“You could have stopped him anytime, baby. I was right here.” Tony assured, his hand now stroking the boy’s cheek lovingly.

“I know, but I wanted to play, it was fun. He got so scared! I thought he was gonna shit his pants.”

“I think he did, baby. But now, let’s not worry about that anymore, yeah?” Tony suggested, putting his gun on the table to get a fresh lollipop from his breast pocket and offered it to the boy. He had dropped the one Peter gave him when he had jumped up from his seat to threaten Mr Fawler when he was foolish enough to use his teeth. Peter was delighted and unwrapped the candy quickly, putting it in his mouth and grinning.

Swirling the candy in his mouth, Peter leaned back on the table again, spreading his thighs to show his boy-cunt just like before. Now however, he knew he was gonna have a good time when Tony licked his lips and lowered his mouth to his cunt with a wolfish grin.

“My, my, what teeth you have.” Peter giggled with the lollipop in his mouth before squealing as his Daddy began eating him out just like he deserved to be.

#my prompts #starker #starker fic #tony stark x peter parker #tony stark #peter parker

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