#and I’ll have to do it in loops on our road which is

[darkwood-sleddog]

What is in the water this week?? work’s got me like this

[msfantasy-comics]

The Forbidden Romance

Tim Drake x Reader

Summary: A short story on Y/n being the daughter of Joker and Harlequin (and Step daughter of Poison Ivy) is romantically involved with Red Robin. The two unlikely lovers find causal comfort in each others arms. Will they grow to be together or will they fall apart under expectations and societal pressures ?

As/n: I may make this into a mini series cause as I was proof reading I was like GIRL WHAT HAPPENED NEXT. I’m absolutely just winging this story as I write it.

Masterlist - Tip Jar

You drag your feet along the rooftop, following the sound of your Pa’s signature sinister laughter as you text Mama Ivy about tonight’s turn of events. Not too keen to engage in whatever lunacy your Pa has wrapped himself into.

Earlier that night your Ma had insisted on a ‘family night out’ for your birthday, much to your dismay. Knowing that your night will fizzle just like it always does when the Joker is out and about and without Mama Ivy around, it just didn’t feel like much of a birthday to celebrate.

Just as you had suspected, your Pa just can’t help himself. As soon as he caught sight of ‘Bats’ dashing across the roof tops, he was suddenly off in the wind - chasing the vigilante whilst your Ma chases after him. “Aw Common Puddin’ it’s ya daughters birthday!” Your Ma’s voice whines. Pa lifts his crowbar up ready to take a heavy swing at the exhausted figure laying limply on the dirty roof top floor.

The sight boiled your blood. “Pa! You’re ruining my birthday! Put the damn crowbar down right now!” Your shrill reprimands cause Jokers twisted smile to drop, just as fast as the heavy metal pipe that clinks along the ground. His hands stuck up in the air as if surrendering to his beloved daughters demands.

“What’s wrong my little Jester? Your dear ole’ Pa was only trying to have a little fun.” But your unamused expression sours any and all delight showing on the Jokers face.

“That’s it Puddin’ you’re upsettin’ me and you’re upsettin’ our little Jester! Let go of the boy and let’s salvage what’s left of our outin’” Joker grumbles at his cross road, but your cranky demeanour squashed any rebellion stirring within.

“Common my sweet Jestie- don’t be mad at your Papa. What can I do to make it up to you, hm?” Your grumpy crossed arms unwinds at your fathers offer.

“I’ll forgive you Pa on one condition.” Jokers sulky demeanour snaps to excitement.

“Anything Jester, you name it.”

“You leave me with Red Robin, and you go and take Ma back home.” Joker wraps his arms around himself as if mentally restraining himself. His incoherent words stumbling over each other.

“Aw but that’s not fair! That’s two conditions…Ugh - fine! But you better not let him escape again! You’re really bad at keeping your pets caged.” Joker relents. Ma, happily loops her arm through your Pa’s arm guiding him on through the dark night, but not before blowing you a kiss with a wink.

Your attention turns back to the large heaped figure laying limply on the floor. The vigilante known as Red Robin continues peering up at your clownish figure. 

Prancing excitedly you leap excitedly onto his form, a loud ‘oft’ escaping Red’s lips. “Hiya Pookie!” You exclaim loudly with a small peck to his cheek. He continues to look up at you with a small smile.

“Hiya Princess, I missed you.” He cooes with his arms still tied behind his back. “Think you can let me out?”

“Hmmm I dunno… you just look so cute when your all helpless and vulnerable… I could do anything to you…” You tease, your finger slowly sliding tantalisingly slow down his chest plate. His cheeks now quickly becoming flush with pink.

“Oh, erm, well, if you say so.” He quickly folds, completely accepting his circumstances. His eagerness to accept your conditions has you cackling.

Your sweet wholesome lover is so eager to please you. It makes your heart warm to think of how gentle and loving he is with you.

“Just kidding!” You exclaim, effortlessly tugging a rope which causes all of the ties to come undone, instantly freeing your Red.

His arms rush around your figure, pulling you down into his form. You giggle erratically as a flurry of kisses is peppered across your face.

“Okay! Okay!” You holler, but make no effort in pulling away from your Reds loving. On his last kiss you take a moment to look deeply into your lovers eyes. Drinking in every last glorious detail of his handsome face with what little time you have left with him.

Leaning down you catch your lips onto his own, a feverish lip lock ensuing with Red rolling you onto your back with his form hovering above your own. Your arms pinned above your head.

With panting breath he pulls away quickly to eagerly pull off his cape. But the fiddly latch just won’t release.

Suddenly a voice no one wants to hear at a time like this echos through Red Robins ear piece.

Sighing he slowly pulls away from you with great reluctance. “Happy Birthday beautiful- I was hoping we can have a moment of peace together but- duty calls.”

Jumping back Red takes off leaving you alone.

[ereardon]

At Sea [Bob Floyd x Reader]

Chapter 3

Overview: I’ll be home in five weeks. That’s what naval aviator Y/N told her fiance before leaving for deployment in the Atlantic. But time ceased to stop when she met Bob Floyd, the ship surgeon. Shy and honest, Bob quietly slipped into Y/N’s life, creating a complicated dynamic on an already intense mission. Falling for Bob was not in Y/N’s plan, and as she continues to weave a web of lies, she must make a choice: return to the life she left on land, or forge ahead into the unknown with Bob. But before Y/N can decide, disaster strikes, leaving Bob to make the decision that will alter their lives forever. 

Chapter summary: Y/N and Bob have a close encounter that leads Y/N to ponder cheating on her finace

Pairing: Navy Doctor Bob Floyd x Female Aviator Reader

Warnings: Implied emotional cheating, lots of Naval inaccuracies

WC: 1.2K

Masterlist here; previous chapter here

You could see Bob the moment you stepped out onto the deck. He had his back toward you, his face gazing out at the dark sea. 

You crept up behind him, one hand on his arm. “Hey.” 

He jostled beneath your touch, kind brown eyes looking down behind wire frames. “Hey there.” 

“So what’s the plan?” 

Bob held out one hand. It was steady, nails trimmed neatly, silver watch fastened slightly loosely at the wrist. “Come and see.” 

You let your fingertips rest in his. There was a moment of hesitation before he started to lead me away from the edge of the deck. You saw the flicker of a question cross his eyes in that moment of hesitation. Wondering if he should kiss you or not. 

You found myself disappointed he didn’t. 

He led you across the ship deck, toward the stern. You passed a few people, their eyes darting between you and Bob, down to your hands. 

At the stern of the boat, you were sheltered behind the funnel. Almost immediately, the wind died down. Your flyaway hairs, which has been whipping at your temples, settled. 

“Why weren’t we meeting here the whole time?” you asked. 

“Good question.” 

“So what’s the game plan?” 

Bob smiled. “Do you always need a plan?” 

“You don’t know me very well, but I’m super impatient, and always in a rush. I’m chronically type A. I hate gum because I think hearing people chew is disgusting. And I'll make you stop every hour on a road trip to pee.” 

He leaned closer. “Nothing you’ve just said has turned me off.” 

“Oh, I know, I was trying to turn you on.” 

Bob laughed, and it was contagious. There wasn’t much laughter on a mission like this. He was a breath of fresh air. 

Below deck, Bob led you through a labyrinth of doors through personal quarters before landing at a door at the end of the hall. He turned the handle. 

Inside, white string Christmas lights had been looped around the ceiling. Pressed against a wall was a bed, but massive, like two standard issues had been shoved together. 

You turned to Bob with eyebrows raised. 

“I thought you might be getting sick of listening to me talk. And you’d rather watch a movie instead.” He walked over to the computer monitor facing the bed, plugging in a jack and forcing the screen to light up. “Our options are limited,” he added. “The Lion King. Hercules, or Shrek.” 

You laughed and took a seat on the edge of the bed. It was monumentally more comfortable than your cot out in the barracks. “Love your taste in films.” 

“You’re a little older than my usual movie-watching companions,” he replied. 

“They’re all classics, don’t get me wrong. But I feel like you can’t go wrong with The Lion King.” 

Bob nodded, inserting the DVD as you slid off your shoes, climbing further onto the bed toward the corner. On the desk, you spotted a bottle of pinot noir, and two coffee mugs.

“Where did you get wine?” 

“I have my ways. Is red OK?” 

“It’s perfect.” 

“Good.” He grabbed the remote and then bent down to untie his shoes. When he stood, he flushed, and you patted the space on the bed next to you. An invitation. 

When Mufasa reached up his paw, and Scar let him fall into the valley, you felt Bob’s breath do a sharp intake. You looked up at him, his eyes rapt on the screen, but a small tear had made its way into the corner of his eye. You looked at him for a beat too long, and then worried that he would catch you staring, you turned your head back downwards. This time, you laid your head down on his abdomen, slinging an arm across him. There was a moment of hesitation before his hand came down on your shoulder, gently resting across your upper arm. 

You stayed like that, cuddled together, until the movie was done. As the credits rolled, it was clear neither of you were ready to untangle yourselves. Thirty seconds passed before you pushed yourself up into a seated position facing Bob. “A classic.” 

He nodded. There was something he wasn’t saying. It was clear from his eyes. 

You scooted closer, until your knees were touching his. “What are you thinking?” 

“That no matter how many times I watch this movie, it never ceases to impress me.” 

“Strong feelings for a Disney movie, but I get it.” 

“I had a patient once,” Bob said. “He was six. His father had just died, and he was dying, too. One day he asked me to watch a movie with him. It was the end of a call shift, so I stayed, and we watched The Lion King. I’ll never forget the way he broke down when Scar let Mufasa fall. And all I could do was hold his hand and tell him it was just a movie. But it wasn’t just a movie. That was his real life. He wasn’t going to wake up the next day and see his dad. He might not even wake up the next day. What do you say to someone like that?” 

You shook your head. “I don’t know.” 

“Nobody does. And that’s what makes it so hard. All you want to do is tell them it’ll get better. But sometimes that just isn’t true.” 

“You do the best you can. That’s all anyone can ask for.” 

Bob was quiet. You reached up, placing both hands on either side of his head, slowly stroking his blond hair. As you started to pull back, his hands shot out and gripped your wrists. “I want to kiss you,” he whispered. “But I won’t.” 

“Why?” You were breathless. 

“Because you deserve a really amazing first kiss. And I don’t want our first kiss to be because you feel bad for me.” 

“That’s not it.” 

He pressed his eyes closed for a second. “Even if it isn’t, you still deserve more.” 

You laid back on the bed. Bob mimicked your movements so you were facing each other. “It’s nice how highly you think of me,” you murmured. “But don’t.” 

“I can’t help it.” Bob trailed his fingers over your hip. “Can I ask you something? And feel free to say no, no matter how pathetic I look.” 

“Anything.” 

He was timid. You could see it in every line across his face. The way his voice shook as he spoke. “Will you stay here tonight? You don’t have to. I promise I won’t try anything. I just really want you here.” 

“Yes.” You said it without hesitation. His smile – soft, quiet, harrowing – was enough to get you to commit murder. Another girl would say no, go back to her bunk, contemplate what she had done to get herself into that position. Another girl, a better girl, would feel guilty.

But guilt felt like a far off whisper. Instead, you were overcome by excitement. It bubbled in your chest. 

Being with Bob made you feel weightless. And that terrified you. 

Please follow my library page @ereardonlibrary

Tagging some people who I think may like this (but feel free to message me and say you're not interested and I won't tag you going forward!): @blue-aconite @horseshoegirl @clancycucumber230 @kmc1989 @ahopelessromanticwritersworld @spinning-away @bvbfloyd @startrekfangirl2233-writes @shanimallina87 @xoxabs88xox @xomrsalliej4787xo @sio-ina-bottle @joaquinwhorres @thedroneranger @callsign-magnolia @sometimesanalice @stargazer-88 @tomanybandstolove @laracrofted @iangiemae @teacupsandtopgun @palepeanutponyshoe @mrsjobarnes @desert-fern @double-j @djs8891 @gigisimsonmars @fanficfandomlove @bobfloydsbabe @katiedid-3 @katieshook02 @na-ta-sh-aa

[aziraphales-library]

Hi!

I’ve had the idea of Crowley and Azi during Halloween and was wondering if there’re any fics with that premise?

I really appreciate this blog btw :)

We have a few posts on our #halloween tag. Here are some more to add, specifically around the celebrating of halloween...

Bobbing for Apples by Celessstial_Harmoniesss, ElderlySardine (T)

When Aziraphale first declared that he wanted to hold a Halloween party, he really hadn't thought things through at all. Sticky-fingered young humans playing party games in his bookshop? It didn't bear thinking about. But the angel was nothing if not stubborn, and besides, all the preparations were proving to be a great excuse to spend time with a certain demon. And he really would invite some actual humans too, any day now. The problem was that every Halloween tradition Aziraphale knew seemed to have something to do with finding one's future husband. And when you were a supernatural entity with the subconscious ability to bend reality to your will, that had the potential to be a little... embarrassing.

Soft, Gentle, Warm by hope_in_the_dark (T)

Crowley has a proposal for an autumn holiday. Aziraphale goes along with it, eventually. There is also much pining, which is relatively quickly resolved.

Ghosts, Goblins, and Golden Eyes by mellow_cello_charm (T)

London, October 31st. ---------------- “How about you? Anything exciting lined up?” the demon asked as they crossed the road. Aziraphale snapped out of it. “Oh, I’ll just be having an early night. If I’m in the mood, I might take M.R. James to bed.” Crowley stared at him, arching a quizzical brow. “Say that again?” “M.R. James. I have his collected ghost stories. You’d find them boring, but I think they’re a jolly good spooky read, especially in bed with a cup of tea.” “Uh-huh. Yeah, I’m sure they are.” ---------------- A Good Omens Halloween Special.

Dead Man’s Party: An Ineffable Halloween by Willowfern (T)

Under the belief that Warlock’s powers might somehow be triggered, Aziraphale and Crowley get themselves invitations to a Halloween party at the Dowlings’ home. Or, Halloween shenanigans, and Crowley gets drunk and causes a mess.

Endless Night by AppleSeeds (T)

Spending Halloween in an old cottage with his housemates, university student Crowley finds himself trapped in a time loop that repeats every four hours, with only the spirit of Anathema's dead witchy ancestor to help guide him. Agnes believes the time loop has been triggered by Crowley's own thoughts, and that the only way to break it is to ensure that Aziraphale, who Crowley is completely infatuated with, actually enjoys himself. Despite how flustered he gets every time he even looks at Aziraphale, Crowley does everything he can to try to make that happen. But no matter what he tries, things keep going wrong.

A Kind of Spooky Feeling by his_infinitevariety (T)

Having embraced the festive spirit last December, Aziraphale finds himself wrapped up in the spooky season this October, with Crowley insisting they celebrate the entire month of Halloween.

- Mod D

[fuckmeyer]

Come Nightfall deleted scenes: Hunting with the Boys

[in which Bells seeks answers about the Cold Ones...and the mysterious Sam Uley]

We jostled over steeper, windier, narrower roads until the shoulder gave us just enough space to park. Charlie slowed to a crawl and pulled over. For a moment, even the engine’s growl stood no chance against the sounds of the forest; the chirping, buzzing, the fluttering tree leaves drowned everything else out.

“Just wanna make sure you’re okay.” The crawl turned to a halt. Charlie jerked the steering wheel to twist the tires. The engine died. All of our silence got swallowed by the forest looming over us.

I looked at my father.

Yeah, the stress of chasing a serial kidnapper had put more salt in that salt-and-pepper hair, deeper wrinkles in his forehead. But I couldn’t help but notice that that the rings under his eyes had faded to a light lilac. How his thinned face looked slightly rounder.

I couldn’t help but notice how he had been humming most of the way up here. While we listened to golf on the radio.

Charlie was undoubtedly okay. For once, a plan I had had worked. That small lining of relief—despite the fear and anxiety and pain and danger and isolation—made this ugly foray into the paranormal world worth it. For now. And I didn’t have time to regret what could have been or what might be.

My loved ones were happy. Even though I didn’t live with him, Charlie and I still hung out Wednesdays and Sundays. I had balance.

It was enough.

“I’m okay,” I said as he got out of the car. “Just tired is all.”

“You talk to your doctor?”

“Yeah.” No. “They’re not gonna do anything until I’ve been on the new meds for a while, so.”

Charlie threw the driver-side door open. “Speaking of doctors,” he said, “we might wanna take it easy on Harry today, huh?”

“Sure, how come?”

“Just some stuff going on with his heart,” said Charlie. “He’s fine, but this isn’t gonna be some ten-mile hike like you n’ Jake are used to. Probably do a loop, check the traps, break at one of the stands.”

“I can circle back.”

Just as he got up to exit the car, Charlie halted and turned to me. “I want you to stick by us, Bells,” said my father, voice stern. “I mean it. Just last week we had another disappearance ‘bout twenny miles north of here. Better we stick together.” His door slammed shut.

I chewed the inside of my lip, not moving. “Megabear?”

The back door flung open and he poked his head in as he grabbed his gun case. “Could be, I s’pose. I’ll leave it to the forest rangers to decide. ‘Course if anyone’s gonna catch ‘em, it’s gonna be your old man and Harry. —You get something to eat this morning?”

Crap. I just made a sentimental speech about Charlie; now I had to lie to him? “Yeah, no worries. I got breakfast.” I struggled out of the passenger door to wheel around to the back. My bow case—or, really, Billy’s bow case—sat on the floor of the backseat. I wriggled it out and set it on the seat.

With his door still flung open, my father tossed something that crinkled across the seat. It hit the flat side of my bow case.

A granola bar.

When I looked up at him, he gave me a curt nod. “Have more breakfast,” Charlie gruffed.

He slammed the door shut.

*

“Your old man’s been on the bear’s path for over an hour, still hasn’t even taken the first shot,” Harry complained, breathless. “Can’t keep up with me like he used to, that’s for damn sure.” And this old man cackled.

We’d already set most of our stuff down in the clearing, opting to talk a short loop with our weapons while waiting for Charlie to get back. It made me nervous, thinking he was walking out all alone. But Harry had reassured me that Charlie “knew what he was doing.” So Harry and I stuck together, walking in silence.

“Just likes to be sure of his shot is all,” I said. Though I was sure the real reason had to do with tainting the meat by making two shots. He only said it a billion times. “One and done.”

It felt a little awkward, considering I’d kinda pissed him off last night at the fish fry.

“The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree,” Harry chuckled. We faded into silence. Then, as if reading my mind: “About yesterday,” said Harry, and my heart sunk.

“Yeah. Uh. Sorry. I forgot that Sam and—er, I mean, I didn’t think—”

“I know you want to help,” he said, talking over me in a grizzled voice. I shut up. Harry cleared his throat and continued. “And the way Billy’s been talkin, you’d think the whole damn sky’s about to fall down.” My heart sunk. “But I just want you to rest assured, we’ve got everything under control. Okay?”

The unease filling my stomach like sand made my lips twist into a grimace. Why reassure me about something I’d never expressed worry about? “Yeah. Right. I just—if I can be of any help, in any—”

“Protecting yourself and others is what you can do to help,” said Harry. “We’ve got everything under control, but only if everyone works together to play their parts. You understand me?”

“Yes, sir.” No.

“Sometimes,” he said, “for the good of the community, we gotta stay disparate and isolated. We don’t want to appear too unified. It gives the opportunity for our enemies to get to know us. You understand?”

“Yes, sir.” No.

Was that to say that Sam was part of some disparate, isolated group, as I was? No, that couldn’t be true. Sam spent all his time with his second- and third-in-command, Jared and Paul. He wasn’t isolated like I was.

“You’ll have your chance to get to know everyone,” said Harry. “But for now, you know, we’ve gotta pick the right moments to help each other out. And we gotta think long and hard about who we choose to be around,” said Harry.

We looked at each other.

“I...don’t understand.”

“We pick up the scents of our loved ones,” he said. “That affects who the cold ones target.”

Oh. An icy anxiety gripped me. Still, I found myself blurting out “What?”, unable to finish my thought. “We—but—we’re with Charlie right now.”

“Charlie’s as safe as anyone could be,” said Harry. “We don’t need to worry about a veteran cop. Being the chief of the force means he’s less likely to be a target to anyone. He’s too visible. And a good shot.” Harry stared at me, as if hoping I’d jump in with another name. But I didn’t. So he did. “I’m talking about Jake.”

“J—Jake?” The defense came faster than my brain could think. “I—well, I always keep a knife on me. And we, we’re not, y’know—it’s not like we’re going vampire hunting or anything.” Where was this coming from? Why hadn’t Billy said anything to me?

“He’s a boy,” said Harry. “He’s young, he’s vulnerable, and he’s going off to college in a few months. We need to keep in mind that when we spend time with him, he becomes a target.” Beat. “And if you hang out with Jake...you can’t be around Sam.”

My heart sunk. Chills scattered slowly up the veins of my hand, my wrist. My fingers went numb. Why didn’t Billy mention it? “So when you say ‘we,’” I said as Harry frowned, “does that also inclu—"

“Shh. Hang on,” whispered Harry, clasping a hand on my shoulder to halt me. His eyes searched the area. With his free hand, he steadied his gun. His stalking steps were silent--even to my ears.

I froze. Fragments of my dream floated around my head and made me shiver.

Harry’s safety clicked off.

I pulled my bowstring back.

Threads of icy air that I had passed off as cold morning wind made my skin prickle at the back of the neck. The heavy unease that I had dismissed as uncertainty from last night settled like a huge stone in my stomach.

Vampire.

My grip tightened. I swallowed a shallow breath.

But the feeling wasn’t as acute. The smell didn’t permeate the air.

Whoever had crossed through here hadn’t done so recently.

“Hm.” Harry gestured for me to look at the ground, several paces from our feet. Still panting, he squatted down on the hams of his legs with a grunt. “Here’s what you’re looking out for,” he said, pointing to the ground.

I relaxed my grip, arrow unknocked. When I bent over him, Harry was tracing the deep half-moon divot in the soggy ground with his finger. Chills swept the nape of my neck.

My breath caught. Is that…?

“These kinda markers can be easy to miss, so be careful. It’s a footprint, see? The cold ones take less steps when they run. They don’t run like you n’ I do, see, they land more forward, on their toes. They’ll dig these deep sorta divots in the ground for leverage. See how this round part is facing us?” I nodded. Harry, breathing deeply, turned towards where we came from, and I mirrored him. “That’s its direction,” he said, pointing.

My veins iced over. The panic in my chest never rose above a simmer. The smell of vampire had become too faint to consider it an active threat. I frowned and turned back to Harry, saying as if it wasn’t actually a panicked confirmation, “Yeah, but they didn’t come through here today.”

“No, they’re not here now,” he said. “Musta came through ‘bout a day ago or so. See, the mud’s had time to set and dry.”

I nodded, turning back to the path we took anyway. As if we’d see one now, on this rare sunny day. I spun back around again to face him. “How d’you know all this?”

“I could ask you the same,” he said with a wry grin. “I saw you pick up on it. The smell.”

I rubbed the back of my neck, ignoring him. “You and Billy both…” I hesitated. It sounded accusatory: You and Harry both know how to track vampires. Why? How?

“For some of us, our relationship with the paranormal stretches way back,” he replied, arching a brow. “Reckon it’s the same for you.”

I looked back down at the ground, if only to look at something else.

Anything else.

Instead of concentrating on the horrific notion that I, like Caitlin and Billy and Harry, had always had a relationship with vampires.

Besides the thought being terrifying, it also meant that the last several months of Edward leaving meant nothing. It prevented nothing, solved nothing, did nothing. My relationship with vampires, with or without Edward, would always stretch out into the infinite.

That sucked.

Examining the half-footprint left in the dirt, it looked bigger than what I imagined Victoria’s footprint to be. “Who d’you think it is?”

“We’re working on it,” he said.

“You and, and Billy?” I said. Harry nodded. “And Sam?”

Harry side-eyed me but said nothing.

He told me we had to be an isolated, disparate community. If that were true, why did he keep saying “we”?

Why couldn’t “we” include me?

“Here. See. When we see these tracks,” he continued, pulling out a crumpled receipt and a pen from his shirt pocket, “you mark down the location. We have markers set up on Old Quil’s place that correspond to coordinates--coordinates are written on the markers. You remember that map we gave you last summer? You use that. Mmkay?” Harry did the same, clicked, the pen, put the materials back in his pocket. “Then we erase it.” His foot stomped into the sinking mud, then smeared the print with his boot heel. “Got it?”

If I ever wanted to be part of this “we,” it was clear that I had to know something. Provide something. Do something. I had to become too invaluable to ignore.

Not that I had anything worth of value. My bow skills were okay, and I guess the porcelain white-tipped arrows Billy gave me, like the knife, were presumably to fight vampires.

But who knew if the arrows were fast enough for them? Who knew whether I could hit a vampire on the move? Whether vampires could even die with human weapons in the first place, being so indestructible as they were?

Who knew if I would ever be good enough?

“Is it a girl?” I asked him. “The cold one?” Harry looked at me but said nothing, just gestured for me to walk back to the clearing with him. It felt awkward to talk about what I knew. As if it wasn’t the biggest secret of my life. “It doesn’t seem like it’s her this time. Victoria. I—” But I hesitated at telling him the truth, why I thought it wasn’t Victoria. The smell. The lights. All it would do was out me as a freaky human hybrid. “I dunno. The Cullens chased her into Europe several months ago,” I said, hustling to his side. “If she’s back, she’s probably looking for them. Or—me.”

“Doesn’t seem to be the motive,” was all Harry said.

I pressed on, desperate, at least, to be useful. “She has this neon green light power,” I said. “That’s how she lures her victims.”

Now Harry didn’t look at me. “I know.”

Where I hoped he couldn’t hear me, I sighed. I kept my eyes pinned on the trail as we walked, thinking to myself.

“Why can’t I?” I asked him. “Know.”

“Not the right time,” said Harry.

“But when is?”

“When I—we—say so.”

This would have to be my new project. Being valuable enough to be included. Learning enough information to—

“Whoa,” I said, gazing down at the huge paw print in front of me, like a gaping wound in the earth. The thing was massive! It was like if two of the biggest bears in the world got together and atomically fused themselves together into one giant— “Megabear.”

That made Harry swerve around. He never smiled. Never answered me. With that same firm, somber look, he went up to where I stared, frowned at the sight of it. Then he rubbed out the huge paw print with the heel of his boot. Fresh overturned soil erased the print.

He turned. “Better be getting back.”

“Aren’t you gonna write down the coordinates?”

“No need,” he said, and he didn’t speak again.

[thebroccolination]

Be My Favorite - Intro

WELCOME TO KEY’S SUMMER FIXATION SERIES. \:D/

Hello! I’m Key, and I’ll be your Be My Favorite historian and enthusiast.

I’ve been really excited for Be My Favorite ever since the series was first announced in December of 2021. The premise grabbed me right away since I’m a big fan of time loops (please watch Triage if you haven’t already, I’d say it’s the strongest BL series to date), and Krist’s one of my favorite actors, so it was an instant five stars of anticipation for me. Then in September of 2022, Gawin (another favorite of mine) was cast, and I had a dream casting I think I might have joked about once. (So I did this, you’re welcome.)

Whoever cast Gawin, I’ll send you a basket of whatever you love and aren’t allergic to.

THE CASTING HISTORY

Be My Favorite had a rocky road to casting.

From what I’ve been able to follow, it was initially meant to be a KristSingto comeback vehicle. (Their last BL together was the SOTUS Our Skyy episode in 2018.) However, in 2022, Krist tentatively told fans at a fan meeting that Singto’s schedule didn’t work out with filming. Seeing as GMMTV didn’t want Krist acting in BL series without his brand partner, I think they knew Singto wasn’t planning to renew his contract, so they cast Mike instead. Personally, I was excited to see Krist step outside his comfort zone with a different actor, and he’s close to Mike, so I figured it’d be a good match. I was also happy for Singto, because he’s wanted more independence in his career. He’s into photography and directing, he’s made his own studio, formed his own fan club in Japan, etc. (I think it’s likely he and Krist will work together again, though. They’re still very close, they play video games online with their friends from university fairly regularly, and Singto went out of his way to organize a KristSingto concert in December of 2022 through his Japanese fan club. KS used to hold their GMMTV-sponsored concerts there annually before the pandemic, so I think it was both a “final chapter” to one part of their lives and evidence that they can collaborate again if they want to.)

I didn’t have strong feelings about Mike’s casting. I haven’t seen him in much, but I liked him in the teaser, and he’s already close to Krist, so I was on board. After seeing Singto improve through his series with other actors (something he might have had to fight for, but that’s pure speculation), I was just excited for Krist to get the same opportunities.

And then…Gawin. [seventeen sparkle emojis]

As I said on Twitter the day Gawin’s casting was announced, “I could not be more pleased and delighted that I’ve built a reputation for myself that makes people think, ‘Krist and Gawin? QUICKLY, LIGHT THE FIRES AND TELL KEY,’” because I woke up to not one but three separate friends letting me know about it.

I went from excited to feral in the four seconds it took my brain to go from, “This can’t be real,” to, “Finally, bizarre breaking news that isn’t actively traumatizing.”

Truly, I have to hand it to Krist, because he's wanted this project to do well from the start, and he's stuck with it and worked hard on it through potentially three scene partners. And he really seems to have grown and learned from Gawin, so good on him.

THE WRITER/DIRECTOR

My one worry was that I haven’t enjoyed most of Jittirain’s adaptations.

But then I found out that the director, Waa, directed The Gifted and also has screenwriting experience. Krist has worked with Waa before and speaks highly of his process. There are a lot of scenes in the first episode of BMF that seem very clean and well edited, so I have hope.

On top of that, I’ve also seen fans mention that Be My Favorite is “inspired by” Jittirain’s novel, not adapted from it, which I think is a crucial distinction. (I don’t know the source for that, but I want it to be true, so I’ll believe it for now.)

Krist has said that they changed a lot from the novel, and based on what I know, the first episode has already departed quite a bit, so I have put my faith in Waa.

POSTPRODUCTION

For many reasons, some series just get the short stick with the amount of postproduction and budget they get. Some series are still filming as they start airing, some have budget cuts during production, etc.

Filming for Be My Favorite began on November 19th, 2022 and wrapped two months ago on March 24th. That same day, Waa shared on Twitter that he’d be starting work on intense editing right away. That was a great sign to me. With filming complete and two months of postproduction, he was almost certainly able to do a cleaner job than if he’d had to struggle under continued filming and simultaneous editing while the show was airing.

Also, BMF definitely seems to have money behind it. For example, this upgrade from the trailer to the first episode. In the trailer, as Kawi makes his first trip to the past, there's a bright, swirling glow around him.

When the episode aired, the effect looked a lot cleaner and had scenes from future episodes woven in.

Also, I loved this transition shot with the blurry background, and the dandelion seed floating across the screen was a cute detail, since that's the flower in the time loop globe.

Little things like like this tells me they’ve had the time to do this series well, and that there's a lot of love and effort going into it.

THE ACTING COACH

This February, the acting coach for BMF did an interview (1 & 2) that I really enjoyed. She said she’ll be sharing a video of their workshop now that the series is airing, so I’m keeping an eye out for that.

THE ACTORS

Like I said, I love both of them. I first watched SOTUS and the Kiss series in 2020, so I became a fan of both right around the same time.

In April of 2022, I made a top ten list of what I thought were the best acting performances up to that point. Krist was on it, and so was Gawin. I admire both of them a lot, and I think they’ve both improved tremendously over the years.

Krist, from what I can tell through interviews, leans toward method acting. For example, in the scene I included on my list above, Arthit was apparently meant to cry a few lines later on, but Krist lost it earlier than scripted because in order to channel the emotion he needed for the scene, he imagined how he’d feel when Singto followed through with a long-time dream of studying overseas. It ended up one of their strongest scenes together because it was genuine.

Meanwhile, Gawin was interviewed in November of 2022, and while I think the whole interview is a great read, I wanted to emphasize this part:

“When I prepare for a role, I really have to dig into the story of the script,” [Gawin] explains. “Sometimes they do the last scenes of the series on the first day of being on set. So, you have to be really prepared with the entire story. You’ve got to know the whole thing, what emotions that character went through, and the changes with that character.” 

I think part of what makes Krist and Gawin a good combination is that they’re strong actors with different energies who might just have different ways of preparing for a role. I’d love to hear both of them talk in more detail about their processes, but it seems to me like Krist looks inward for personal experiences to connect with the character, and Gawin creates the character he’s playing based on research.

Another interesting point is that In that same interview, Gawin says he thinks Saifa from Enchanté most resembles his personality (easygoing, music lover, etc.), but he got his start as Mork from the Kiss series (attitude issues, perfect sasspot, etc.). Meanwhile, Krist had an easy link to his first major role, Arthit, in that he’d also been head hazer in university. So Krist started his career able to access a common point with his character, so that might’ve influenced his approach to future roles. Whereas Gawin started off with a character completely unlike himself, so he started from a place of more emotional detachment and probably a more research-oriented approach.

Also, they just seem to have connected on a personal level.

Working with someone so different gives actors the opportunity to learn from each other. When interviewed, Gawin said he and Krist discovered they have a lot in common, and it seems like they bonded over music and spent a lot of time on set singing together. (Their harmonizing is genuinely beautiful.)

Krist’s OST for the series is one of my favorites and Gawin has a ballad coming up later in the series, but I hope they give them a duet at some point. (It’d be a huge missed opportunity if they don’t.)

CATS???

One of the sponsors for the series is fucking Wiskas.

This could just be because Krist is their brand ambassador. (The man has four cats. He has an army to feed.)

OR there is a feline presence in the show. If this is true, I will die, because Triage, series of my soul, also had cats in it.

Listen, I will send TWO baskets of whatever Waa likes if he's enabled me to make the "if I had a nickel for every time there have been cats in a Thai BL time loop series, I'd have two nickels. It's not a lot but it's weird that it happened twice" joke.

CONCLUSION

Big fan! Love it all! (PLEASE CATS.)

I’ll leave this here as an introductory post, and I’ll make separate posts for my individual episode thoughts using #key watches bmf.

[michellemisfit]

🚑✨Weekly Tag Wednesday🪄💫

Look at this super fun tag game @deedala made!! And thanks for the tag @lingy910y @energievie @tanktopgallavich @mikhailoisbaby

🚑 Get in bitch, we're going on a mystical adventure through space, time, and reality. (in ian and mickey's ambulance of course) ✨

Name: Michelle

Zodiac Sign: Pisces ♓️

Personality type in enneagram, myers-briggs, or both: I’ve done all of these quizzes and I can NEVER remember what I am. Whatever that personality type is where the answering paragraph literally told me I couldn’t be an EMT because I am incredibly studious and hard working and great in a crisis, but I am also convinced that literally anything going wrong is my fault personally, and it would kill me. That. It me.

Before we hit the road, what snack are you gonna bring for our trip? Normally I’d say POPCORN but @deedala is already bring that so I’ll go buck wild and say crudités & hummus, because road snacks can be yummy AND healthy!

Navigator gets to pick the music so what song are you turning on? I’ve got a whole road trip playlist, and I hope we’ll listen to most of it, but this should always be played in a car!!

💥 What is a universe from a fantasy tv show you would like to visit? The Golden Age of Albion, ie. BBC Merlin

And what about a fantasy movie? Fuck Rowling, but Harry Potter’s a pretty good world.

Okay, how about a scifi tv show? I don’t really watch Sci-Fi and the things I have seen… well, I don’t wanna live in Stranger Things world, or Humans, or Lost in Space, so… The Umbrella Academy? Mostly the normal world, and I can stay away from the weird shit? Maybe?

And a scifi movie universe? Again, don’t really watch Sci-Fi, and any I have seen I wouldn’t want to live in. Also there’s just too much fucking running in all of them. I’d be dead within 24 hours, let’s face it. Planet of the Apes? I might do okay there for maybe 72 hours… 🤔

Any other tv show or movie universes you'd like to swing by before we move on? Shadowhunters? Normal world with added magic and a fuck load of cool tattoos? Yeah, I’d do okay there. As long as I didn’t have to do the running bit lol

Okay hold on to your butts we're switching gears to fanfic universes. Tell me which fanfic universe we're visiting first? @deedala is spot on about cooperative gameplay by grayola for hours and hours of YouTube watching!! Also I Keep Going Over the World We Knew (Over and Over) by Mellacita, where Arthur Pendragon returns to solve the climate crisis with a lot of science and a little bit of magic. I would like to live in that world please.

Cool, do you have one more you'd like to stop at before we head home? Literally any and all of Ravenheart’s Magic AUs

Alright, on our way out of fanfic land you get to snag some tropes to bring home and apply to your own life, think fast! - - soulmates or enemies to lovers // coffee shop or flower shop // fake relationship or slow burn // amnesia or time loop // body swap or miscommunication // love triangle or arranged marriage // sharing a bed or drunken confession

Wow okay, hope those tropes work out for you!! Our adventure has finally come to an end, where in the world am I dropping you off? Can I please be dropped off in malu’s There Are No Gays in Football universe? Where Arthur Pendragon is the bravest puppy - For love, and a little bit because it is the right thing to do.

Thank you kindly.

Tagging @suzy-queued @mybrainismelted @too-schoolforcool @creepkinginc @heymrspatel @mickeysgaymom @mickeygifs @sleepyfacetoughguy @sam-loves-seb @look-i-love-u @loftec @callivich @transmickey @scurvgirl @sisitrip @celestialmickey @sickness-health-all-that-shit @darlingian @ian-galagher @iansfreckles @rutherinahobbit @palepinkgoat @whatthebodygraspsnot @gardenerian @metalheadmickey

[colemillerg]

So let’s talk about my mental health some. I’ll try to give the gist of what I battle with. Have you ever thought about killing yourself? How would you do it? Would you write a suicide note to leave behind? If you’ve never had those intrusive type thoughts maybe you’ve just had thoughts of what it would be like if you died suddenly and unexpectedly? Would people mourn your loss? How would your family go on without you? These questions that a normal person may intrusively experience once or twice in their lifetime are a 24/7/365 intrusive thought occurrence for me. Doctors call it being passively suicidal or suffering from suicidal ideation. Perhaps you don’t really have a clear plan to act on but you think about committing suicide regularly and demonstrate risky behaviors (ex: driving recklessly with no seat belt) that could result in your death. Then there is being actively suicidal. You have a plan. You’ve maybe even researched how you want to carry it out. Perhaps you’ve written suicide notes to leave behind. You begin to give away things or prepare for your death in other ways such as saving money for funeral expenses. I teeter between being passively suicidal (most of the time) and actively suicidal (occasionally). Have I ever attempted suicide before? Absolutely. Multiple times.

One of the first times I ever truly attempted was after my ex fiancé and I got into a heated argument. She threatened to end the relationship and left our apartment. I tried to hang myself while she was gone. She found me and cut me down. The most serious of attempts? When my ex fiancé and I finally did split for good, I was a wreck. I’ll detail the story of she and I in another post but for now just know that we were engaged and she was a narcissistic abuser. She left me and I discovered she had feelings for her ex husband. I was devastated because I felt like I had given my all to make the relationship be the total whirlwind romance it initially was. Maybe a month or so after we split and I moved back into my parents home, I decided to kill myself. I had lost my fiancé, home, friends, her family which was like my own, pets, finances, all of it gone. I wanted to go painlessly and quickly just like anyone would. Hanging myself? Too much of a struggle. I watched dark web videos of people hanging themselves only to slowly suffer in agony when they weren’t killed instantly from the fall. (I did at one time attempt asphyxiating myself the way Robin Williams had. Loop a belt around your neck then close the tail in the top of the door and sit down.) Death by cop? Well that would just make me look like a psychopath, which I’m not. Drowning? Too easy to come back up for air and fight it. Slitting my wrists? Painful and if I didn’t do it just right I might end up in the hospital’s psych ward on an embarrassing involuntary hold. Shooting myself? Seemed the way to go. It’s quick and from research depending on where I aim the barrel, I could be precise in ensuring that I don’t fuck up and live a life as a vegetable. What made this even easier was when my grandpa died in 2019, his pistol became mine. I’d never owned a gun and now I had a .45 caliber revolver at my disposal. I wrote 3 letters. 1 to my mom. 1 to my ex (letting her know I don’t blame her) and 1 to a friend. The 4th note detailed where my mother could locate my body and instructed her to call the police and not to attempt to come to me herself. I didn’t want my mom to see me dead like that. I left the 4 pieces of paper out for her to find them. Packed up a couple of beach towels, trash bags, and my pistol. I chose the location with great purpose. I drove 30 minutes out into the country to a small one lane road called Groce Road. It is at this location I was in a nearly fatal car wreck in high school and I knew how isolated it was. At the end of the road there is a park. It was fall and the leaves were beautiful. I smoked as much marijuana as I could thinking if I was out of my mind, I wouldn’t be so scared to do it. I laid out the towels and trash bags so my brain matter didn’t make a mess of my truck. I pointed the pistol behind my right ear at the base of my skull to ensure the damage down would cease all life function capabilities. As I sat there, I noticed how beautiful the fall leaves were and I thought about how my actions were going to hurt those that loved me. If you’re going to kill yourself, thinking can really fuck up the process. I decided in my state of delirium that I would rather suffer with the feelings I was feeling than to make those I wrote letters to suffer my loss (ex fiancé included). I drove home and hid all the evidence of my attempt and nobody ever knew the difference. Do I regret not following through? Every day. Do I also think I made the right decision? When I see my mother or help someone at work, yes.

Suicidal ideation, severe depression, PTSD, and anxiety are my diagnoses. I started this blog because right now I am leaning more towards being actively suicidal than passively suicidal. I guess this is my way of both documenting my struggle should I commit to killing myself and me reaching out for help from others who may sympathize with what I’m going through.

[lingy910y]

Weekly Tag Wednesday

thanks @deedala for the fun game! (even tho i do not trust those two bitches 🤨)

name: ling

zodiac sign: virgo ♍️

personality type in enneagram, myers-briggs, or both: 5w6 (edit: i'm actually a 5w4 i forgor), INTP

before we hit the road, what snack are you gonna bring for our trip? classic croissant 🥐

navigator gets to pick the music so what song are you turning on? move like u stole it by zz ward paul oakenfold remix obviously (it’s my most played song on spotify of all time)

what is a universe from a fantasy tv show you would like to visit? pokémon, low stakes and you have fun

and what about a fantasy movie? spirited away

okay, what about a scifi tv show? voltron: legendary defender?

and a scifi movie universe? idk much sci-fi movies, let alone safe ones 😭 i’m good with whatever you guys want

any other tv show or movie you’d like to swing by before we move on? no, i feel like i’ll drop dead the second i land in any of my fav medias 😭

okay hold on to your butts we’re switching gears to fanfic universes. tell me which fanfic universe we’re visiting first? naur i don’t read much AUs either 😭 the one AU i rly like is based off a historical event that killed hundreds of ppl

cool, do you have one more you’d like to stop at before we head home? okay genshin’s universe!!! the scenery and cultures are gorgeous, even if once in a while we will experience a catastrophe…?

alright, on our way out of fanfic land you get to snag some tropes to bring home and apply to your own life, think fast!

soulmates or enemies to lovers // coffee shop or flower shop // fake relationship or slow burn // amnesia or time loop // body swap or miscommunication // love triangle or arranged marriage // sharing a bed or drunken confession

wow okay, hope those tropes work out for you!! our adventure has finally come to an end, where in the world am i dropping you off? japan thanks :D

tagging fellow passengers! @michellemisfit, @juliakayyy, @lupeloto, @jademickian, @energievie, @krystallouwho, @sleepyfacetoughguy, @mmmichyyy, @vintagelacerosette, @iansw0rld, @depressedstressedlemonzest, @ardent-fox, @softmick, @heymrspatel & @tanktopgallavich 🚑💨

[queen-of-weird-girlboy-nation]

@auroraofthesun1

Diary of a teenage Christian girl

(Front page)

This diary belongs to GRACE ADAMS

I promise to pray, everyday!

Monday 1st August 2024

Dear diary:

I never use this thing, but since we’re at Bible camp I’ll have a lot of time for journaling. So here are some facts about me:

Im Grace Mercy Adams.

I have 8 siblings

I am a Pentecostal Christian

I’m 13 years old

I love Jesus more than anything. More than my own life. More than my parents. More than humanity itself. I would pull the kill switch on humanity, on myself, for Jesus

If I had to pick a way to die, I would chose to die a martyr, in the most painful way possible

I am in the choir

I play volleyball

I’m chaste and pure

I’m a good Christian girl through and through

I’m writing this on the road to Bible Camp, with Esther napping on my shoulder. Her eyelashes are… well they’re so nice when they flicker in her sleep. And so is her hair. She always complains about how boring it is, just plain brown, but I don’t know. There’s something about it… and her green eyes. She’s captivating, I know that much. But enough about Esther; I talk about her enough in this diary as is! Well she’s my best friend.

(Did best friend in purple because it’s her favourite colour, and mine is blue, so we compliment each other nicely, don’t you think diary?)

Well, I’m off to Bible Camp. It’s super far out, but that just gives me more opportunities to take pictures and appreciate the Lords creation. It’s my first time at Bible Camp, and I’m excited. My youth pastor says that I’m one of the most devoted young ladies in the church and will serve well, which is great. Our youth pastor is called Thomas and he likes to speak in a loud voice about end times. The end times are probably my greatest fear… sometimes I’ll be at home alone (which rarely ever happens, I have a lot of siblings) and I’ll be scared that everyone else got raptured and I got left behind. But that’s normal.

We’re singing songs now, go tell it on the mountain.

Go tell it on the mountains

Over the hills and everywhere

Go tell it on the mountain

That Jesus Christ is born

Youth pastor Thomas says that’s our call to evangelise and do missionary. He says that if we don’t evangelise, it’ll be on us if a lot of people go to hell. Hell and end times. Those things scare me the most I think.

I’m also scared of sin, which links back to everything, scared I’m gonna mess up. I’m slightly scared of God…,I respectfully fear the Lord. I’m not scared.

Esther is awake, so now I get to see how her green eyes hit the sunlight, it takes my breath away every single time. Esther has nice eyes. She’s looking at me writing this

‘You have nice eyes too. They’re blue. And you have nicer hair than me. Your white blonde hair makes you look like a pretty lamb’

That’s what she’s saying. She’s so seeet, and we got stuck in a loop of complimenting each other.

‘The only lamb here is the lamb of GOD!’ I said, half jokingly, half not. And we kept on singing.

Ok, we’re here! It looks really nice, gotta unpack and then move into rooms. I’m in a room with my sister Divine and Esther and Felicity Sam’s and Ruth Lampert. Good group. Gotta go unpack!

Forever the Lords,

Grace

[ultimateaclrecovery]

Japan Day 2!

Today was traveling to Kyoto and exploring temples in their northern mountain region

We got to do a lot of hiking in gorgeous fall weather and I loved seeing all of the temples and shrines just fully mixed in with the woods around them.

We got to through a famous maple tunnel on our way there and back and see gorgeous fall colors. The rural streets were also full of beautiful colors and we go to walk along side a pretty river. The river had eating spots in, and in the summer there’s way more including a restaurant that puts up long plans spanning the river so you have dinner above it like a bridge, in addition to the little picnic tables we saw still up.

After we got back to Kyoto and our hotel we got drinks at a craft brewery and udon for dinner

The craft brewery had no face from ghiblis spirited away as their tip jar and I loved it.

Travel diary

Day 2 11/11

Day 2 11/11

Train to Kyoto then mountains. The train we get on is the panoramic train with extra big windows to see all the pretty leaves. On the way there we pass thru the maple tunnel. It’s really pretty even if only some of the leaves have turned yet. I try but am mostly unsuccessful at taking good pictures of it.

We get to the end of the line and walk to the kibune temple. All the shrines in the woods and many many stairs. Anthony paid the temple entrance fee of. We take another trains and a cable car to rope way to the next temple.

At the top of the ropeway we can see over outskirts of Kyoto and the mountains in the distance. We go through a hike in the woods and see more good views. I talk my boyfriend into a selfie in the view. The trees are starting to change color and we enjoy how pretty it is. We walk probably a mile until we hit the entrance to eikan-todo the main temple on the mountain. The ticket gate is closed so we’ll have to find another. The temples are red and brightly painted and there’s a fair number of people around. It’s a weird balance at the temples between tourists and people actually come to use them. I want to get a good look at all of them but also want to be respectful to the people praying and not intrude or gawk at them. Most of the signage is in Japanese with only a couple critical designations in English. We have to look at the map like three times but finally find the entrance with a manned ticket agent to pay our tickets. I pay in cash for mine 1000 yen. We continue to explore the temple and try to find a soba restaurant for lunch that is supposedly up here. We can’t find it and settle for some mochi dumplings as a snack. It’s not very filling but we’ll get more snacks. This proves to be a mistake. After we explore this temple complex we start the hike back to the cable car where we will stop at another site eikan-saito on the way back.

eikan-saito is even more remote and very peaceful. The first building we come to has a beautiful rock garden where the pebbles have been raked in a beautiful pattern. As we continue on the path through the different temples we see a monk sweeping all the little leaves off of the rock path.

We decide to do the big loop through the temples which includes a path along the side of the road. It’s wild to me how many of the places you have to walk are just narrow shoulders along side narrow roads. At least all of the leaves are pretty. We then hike back up to the ropeway and cable car. Somehow in the course of coming down the rope way and cable car I loose my ICCOA card. I had put it in my pocket when I got out my cable car ticket and then it must’ve fallen out. I’m so confused because they were such tight leggings pockets and I’ve never had things fall out of them before. It’s annoying because I had like 2700 yen left and now I’ll have to get a new one and now the bus back ticket will be annoying, but luckily my bf has coins that he lends me for the fare.

The bus ride back is pretty miserable. I really should’ve insisted on more snacks and taken more ibuprofen before we left, but the bus only comes every 30 minutes so we had wanted to catch that one. The bus takes like an hour and a half and I’m cramping and hungry and nauseous the whole time and the bus is crowded we are standing like squished sardines the whole time. And I’m still annoyed at myself for loosing my ic card.

Eventually we make it to the station I want to get food at the first convience store we see but my by wants to go to one lower that will be less crowded and I almost start to cry. But then we go down there and I get a sandwich and pocky. I stray in on the pocky and immediately start to feel better. I get a new ic card putting 5000 yen on it (500 of which is a deposit). We retrieve our luggage and go to our hotel where we eat our sandwiches.

We then grab a drink at a nearby bar called gion that has an Instagram with singing birds. The bar is playing Christmas music already. I get a fun peach ale for 1200 yen. I also tip in the ghibli tip toy which is very fun. Mr no face has teeth which he shows off when his whole head opens up to eat your tip. On the way out a take a video of the singing birds.

We then head out for dinner and get udon. The place has no English and no one there speaks English but between google translate, pointing and my bfs limited Japanese we make through and get delicious udon with pork and green onions. We’re at the bar top so we can watch him cook and the green onions are so massive it’s pretty cool.

After dinner I want to go straight to bed but my boyfriend convinced me to walk around a bit and see the streets. I do love seeing all the narrow streets and all their different store fronts and lanterns about. It is very crowded but fun to way to see the city. And I’m still sound alseep by 9.

[ddelline]

fic OST | circulus vitiosus (salva mea)

blurb | bc it’s me ofc there’s a fic OST to be had! posting this in the wake of publishing part 1, despite having 2 more parts to both write & post. well. anyway: hereby the music which serves as the inspirational foundation for circulus vitiosus (salva mea), or as it’s colloquially called: time loop!fic. may contain vague, conceptual spoilers for what’s to come in parts 2 and 3 (though not that much bc everything herein is pretty consistently dark & foreboding, lol) what | 30 tracks which may or may not be arranged according to in-fic events & which fail to stick any sort of genre-bound landing, feat everything from broken beat avant garde electronica → triphop → psychedelic rock → classic r&b, plus some delicious instrumental electric guitar bits playlist → spotify tracklist | under cut

01 | VTSS — why we don’t deserve nice things

instr

02 | tzusing — 戴綠帽 (wear green hat)

instr

03 | aphex twin — formula

instr

04 | the dead weather — will there be enough water?

will there be enough water when my ship comes in? water when my ship comes in? will there be water when my ship comes in?

05 | gustavo santaolalla — the hunters

instr

06 | wax tailor — ungodly fruit

perhaps those who may be among us for the first time may be wondering what is going to happen now

07 | djuma soundsystem — les djinns (trentemøller remix)

instr

08 | DJ shadow — what does your soul look like, pt. 2

in a few moments you will have an experience which will seem completely real it will be the result of your subconscious fears transformed to your conscious awareness you have five seconds to terminate this tape five, four, three, two, one

09 | nicolas jaar — john the revelator 

now who art worthy, crucified and holy bound up for some, son of our god daughter of zion, judea’s lion

10 | ethel cain — two-headed mother

I’ve loved before, I’ll kill again you’re just the worst of all my men I’m not gonna pull you out the den

11 | regis — broken on the wheel

instr

12 | restive plaggona — lonely people after midnight

instr

13 | shudan — jiangshi

instr

14 | teeth of the sea — field punishment

instr

15 | parrish smith — fader

instr

16 | thom yorke — harrowdown hill

did I fall or was I pushed? did I fall or was I pushed? and where’s the blood? and where’s the blood?

17 | TENDER — machine

you cut me open, and pull me apart a hollow chest instead of a heart control, control me you do what you want with me, baby till I am spent, I’m so content

18 | BANKS — 27 hours

it’s been twenty seven hours since we even saw the sun

19 | deaf bones — only lovers left alive

instr

20 | parrish smith — sex, suicide & speed metal

instr

21 | low — poor sucker

some poor sucker at the bottom of the lake took the wrong way up when the ground began to break it’s a long way back that’s the price you gotta pay

22 | sade — long hard road

there’s a long hard road ahead but a voice inside me said said there’s something that you need to know it’s gonna to be alright

23 | massive attack, tricky & 3D — take it there

we’ll take it there, but take your time we’ll take it there, you’ll lose your mind

24 | plaid & björk — lilith

the moon it guides me on baby there’s absolutely no doubt

25 | sneaker pimps — lightning field

hope’s the child of what luck brings points to faith in higher things ask me now fire at everything at once strike me down

26 | mew — one flew over, one was destroyed

do you remember what made you fall? and does it matter to you at all?

27 | amor satyr — que dançar?

instr

28 | manni dee & akiko haruna — frowzy

a couple hours means nothing in the dark in the end the choice was never ours

29 | faithless, rollo armstrong & sister bliss — salva mea

I wanna take a look at the world behind these eyes every nook, every cranny reorganize realize my face don't fit the way I feel what's real?

30 | hozier — first light

the sky set to burst the gold and the rust the colour erupts you filling my cup the sun coming up

[whentherewerebicycles]

gooood morning. it’s day 7 post IUI and I am crampy again this morning, although for some reason I wake up each day feeling very sure of one outcome or the other even if nothing’s objectively changed (and it’s all still way too early). yesterday I felt like surely there was Something Happening because I never have symptoms like this so far before my period… and today I feel like there isn’t anything going on and I’m almost certainly just bloated from a fiber-rich diet. it’s all just magical thinking but it does pass the time. 

I am hoping that if/when I have to do this again I’ll 1) be a little more used to how the wait period feels and 2) more aware of which symptoms are probably just lingering side effects of the trigger shot. but lord am I ready to get this show on the road!!! michelle is connecting me with a recent ex of hers who is also doing the lesbian single mom by choice route & just had her baby two days ago and I’m excited to talk with her down the road once uhh things have settled a bit for her lol. I was saying to liz that I’ve been working through some tangled feelings lately around what having a kid will mean for my visibility & understanding of myself as a lesbian… so one thing I want to prioritize is talking with other queer women who have gone the same route. you are never too old to need models I guess! discussing it with liz was kind of interesting… she was saying that she doesn’t think motherhood has to have anything to do with my sexual/gender identity at all if I don’t want it to, and I surprised myself with how much I was like: but I want it to! I want this choice to feel deeply embedded in my understanding of myself as queer and deeply entwined with the version of cis-ish womanhood (emphasis on the ish) I’ve carved out for myself. it’s important to me that pregnancy (if it happens for me) and parenthood not be a wholly separate endeavor but something that’s intimately bound up in these other parts of myself. idk I still haven’t quite untangled the feelings enough to write about them! but this articulation will work as a placeholder for now lol.

let’s see let’s see here’s the day…

change into painting clothes, start laundry, eat breakfast and read 20 min, finish painting

switch laundry

empty & reload dishwasher

switch license plates

clean up kitchen

gym for 35 min

shower/get ready

schedule dentist appt

45-60 min walk with dogs, maybe on our other nearby forest trail? or on the loop trail?

30 min writing sprint at some point

dinner with siblings & SIL

read 30 min before bed

early bedtime as ruthie has been waking me up very early

[sjbubbletea]

Final project for Engineering 101. We were asked to effect on the beginning of the year and look forward to what we saw ahead. Take a listen to me doing a simple original song with my ukulele! Lyrics and image with description below. Created with iMovie and MediBangPaint.

Lyrics:

God has brought me here for a reason

I can grow and learn in this place

There will be road blocks there will be struggles

But I believe that it’ll be okay

My faith and science aren’t exclusive

Just look around at all our beautiful earth

Biosystems’s something I’ve been researching

Something I think has a lot of worth

Creation holds so many wonders

patterns of life we must protect

Energy, climate, water, and restoration

Ohh my appetite’s just barely whet

Travel the world and learn all that I can

Solving problems on the site, getting hands on

Helping other people, growing into my own

Represent the friends and family that I call home

So I’ll study hard in university

I’ll graduate with one, or maybe two or three degrees

Overcoming every adversity

Can’t wait to see what I’m gonna be

I’ll take every opportunity

Find work somewhere I’m needed

Heaven’s watching over me

I’m secure and not defeated

Stable in work and pure in heart

You bet I’m gonna do my part

It all starts… where God has brought me 

[Image ID: Digital art of a woman going through different stages of her career. The first is her as a girl leaning her head in one hand while the other holds a pencil, looking down at a large book. She is drawn in black and pastel purple, wearing a zip up hoodie, glasses, and her hair in a bun. Above her is the heading STUDY and the words “Being diligent know will help me work my best later.” Another is her walking and wearing a lab coat, with the bottom half of her wavy hair dyed hot pink, matching her glasses. To the side are pictures of the water cycle, a solar panel, snowflakes and a tunneling wave, and a large tree next to cut down stumps and a sprout. The heading is EXPLORE INTERNING and more words read “Biosystems is fascinating. These engineers have a responsibility to consider environmental circumstances.” The next is her with her hair cut short and no glasses, one fist in the air as she wears a blue graduation cap and gown. The heading GRADUATE is imposed on top of this drawing and to the side it says “I want to be an engineer to help people.” Next is her drawn in orange and black, kneeling down to examine a butterfly specimen in her had. She is wearing sturdy lace up boots, a backpack, and a tank top and shorts. Her hair is tied back in a short ponytail. Above her are the words “A mindset for problem solving is important for an engineer.” The heading TRAVEL AND WORK leads into the next panel, where the woman is now middle aged and not wearing glasses as her hair is braided into a crown behind her head. She is wearing a simple necklace and dark purple blazer and there is a beaker with a bubbling substance next to her. Above her it says “A successful engineer is learned in their field.” The last segment is of an older woman pointing at a sea green board upon which diagrams are written. She wears a turtleneck sweater, her hair down, and her glasses have long chains looping around. This heading TEACH is verticals instead of horizontal and more words say “Eventually they can pass on their knowledge.” End ID]

[omsdoortodoor]

Door to Door Challenge Departure Date minus 22 weeks

Ian’s week

Gravel

It’s been a busy week but not much cycling.

I managed to get out and cycle the Uplowman loop in dry but windy conditions. Each training cycle ride is show on the just giving page

Bike No 3 is very dirty and needs a clean plus the gears need a bit of adjustment, I’ll have to look at my bike maintenance books or maybe just have a play with them.

I could do with a bike stand which makes life easier really but will manage without.

This week coming I hope to get out for two or three rides but will have to look for an alternative route.  They are resurfacing some of the lanes round here with gravel.  It will be great in a month’s time, when all the loose bits have gone but never fun to ride on when first laid.

Maybe a route round Culmstock & Uffculme which means crossing the ‘Great Divide’, the A38! 

We thought this might be a good week to introduce our two other crew members, Tarka (on the left) and Belle.

Belle is our six year-old Welsh Spaniel and Tarka is our 12 year-old Cocker, although we have only had him for 18 months.

They will be accompanying us on the whole challenge.  They are pretty good at travelling but I am wondering how squashed we will be in the campervan – particularly as Tarka likes to creep on to the bed, followed shortly by Belle.

So, this week started in Burnham on Sea.  Fabulous to be parked up, for free, in a road that was right next to the beach.  And first thing we had an amazing walk along the sand which resulted in very sandy dogs.  Still getting used to Celeste, but there are two things to add to the packing list:

The cordless handheld hoover (note to self - I need to check about charging en-route too)

A dog drying bag - courtesy of Pawdaw of London

Obviously not our dogs in the photo (watch this space). It would be great to just zip them up in one of these for 30 mins and hey presto! dry dogs and all sand contained in the bag ready to be shaken out later. Our two are going to look so cute in them.

Jane’s week

Food

We had lunch with friends who went to great length to make sure that all the food we ate complied with the OMS programme.  The OMS programme comprises of a number of pillars; Diet, Vitamin D, Physical Activity, Stress Management and Meditation, Medication (when recommended), Family Health and the final pillar is Change Your Life For Life.

The diet pillar does not fit any of the popular names you hear, such as keto, pescetarian or even vegan.  It was created from on research focused on people with MS.  It’s a bit like a modified Mediterranean diet, and some of you will have heard me say, for simplicity, “I am vegan + fish”.  It is more complicated than that.  It is plant based with fish and low saturated fat, but there are certain cooking methods that we avoid.

We refer to the NOVA groups for food processing scale, which has four categories:

Group 1 - Unprocessed or minimally processed foods

Group 2 - Processed culinary ingredients

Group 3 - Processed foods

Group 4 - Ultra-processed food and drink products

We avoid group 4 – Ultra-processed food and drink products, with occasional exceptions.  At home, Ian follows this eating programme with me, which makes it so much easier.  And so day to day, we can comply 100% with this programme.  This means that when we are eating with friends, or travelling, there is some room for the occasional exception.  A really good example of this is when we are travelling.  If we need to pick up lunch on the go, even a vegan ready-made sandwich or wrap would be out of bounds.  Luckily none of the foods cause an allergic reaction or ‘cause’ my MS. But there is evidence to show that following all the pillars of the programme reduces deterioration in mobility by 50%.  So while no one can be 100% all of the time, that is a massive incentive to follow it as much as possible.

If anyone is interested in knowing more about the eating programme, here’s a link to the website:

The HOLISM study has generated over 15 research papers published in top peer-reviewed medical journals, such as Frontiers in Neurology, PLOS ONE<, BMC Neurology and BMC Psychiatry.  If anyone is interested in the research the link is here:

 

Following this OMS programme has made me explore different food options and a few weeks ago I went on a Vegan Cheese Making course, run by the owner of Kinda Co.  I can now made vegan Ricotta, soft cream cheese, Mozzarella, fondu and cheddar.

One of my side effects of MS is neurological pain, pain that your usual paracetamol does not touch.  So having gone to bed pain free, on Monday night, I woke on Tuesday at 4.30am in excruciating pain in my right thigh.  Firstly, I just tried to zone out of it – but no joy.  So, after two hours I decided to use a mindfulness meditation session.  I chose a 20-minute body scan technique, which also incorporated an element of breathing exercises.  Thankfully it helped, but sometimes it can be so difficult to pinpoint why I should just wake up in pain.

I have a little confession to make.  On the same ferry we bought the Velo En France book mentioned in an earlier episode, I also bought this.

There are a few places listed in the book which are directly on our route.  I thought it might be fun, the water should be warmish in September and the dogs will love it. And of course I will have these super-duper drying bags.  Now, truth be told, I am not a strong swimmer so I do not know if my swimming will be up to this.  Since January I have trying to find someone, somewhere who gives 1-1 lessons to adult swimmers.  Four months later, I have finally found someone.  So, this week, I have booked 1-1 lessons and a group crash course to improve swimming stroke all happening in May.  The final part of that jigsaw will be building up my strength.  But, more on that another week.

I am not putting my weekly table up this week, because for a variety of reasons there are 2 days when I have just had such a different routine and two days when I have really not been great, that the figures would be meaningless.  However, my little table will be back next week. 

But what I forgot to say in last weeks blog, was that in preparation for our Easter weekend away, I had to collect the leisure battery for Celeste.  It is double the size of your normal car battery and we reckon it weighed 25 lbs.  I picked it up from the ground, carried it and put it in the back of the car.  (I then left it in the boot of the car for Ian to take our once he got home, deciding that I had done my strength training for the day). So I was very proud of myself for doing that.  And that’s the funny thing about my MS.  On some days I am completely amazing.

[tessbev]

Day 1 Ha Giang Loop

Wow gonna do this in parts because there’s just so much to say about this trip. We woke up around 830 and had some breakfast. Seems like an egg banh mi is the standard. It’s basically a mini baguette with egg tomato and cucumber. Pretty good but nothing amazing. Does the trick. We had a little orientation, went over the route and talked about what to expect and what we were going to see. Afterwards we chose our helmets (of course none fit me but I found a little red lone with Anna and Elsa from frozen on it that did the trick. Felt perfect for the passenger princess that I am). We met our drivers shortly after, mines name was bang, pronounced like bung and he was wearing a sweater that Paige and I tried on a few days earlier, it was such a funny coincidence (I’ll post a pic). He was awesome, most of the drivers were. They didn’t speak much (if any) English and some of them couldn’t read so you couldn’t even give them the phone to google translate but mine could and he knew the basics “you okay” “so beautiful” (the scenery, not me) “let’s go”. He also taught me how to say “let’s go” in Vietnamese. I heard “knee toy” (phonetically) but when looking up it’s actually “di thoi” but we said it all week so I must of been pronouncing it okay. He also said beautiful was “tem” but when looking it up it says it’s “xinh đẹp” so maybe it’s their slang who knows there was a big language barrier lol.

We all paid for drivers but there were about 70 people starting the loop when we were and they didn’t have a driver for nick so he ended up driving himself the first day (this gave me major anxiety because I had heard the roads were pretty intense but he did fine and had a blast).

The first day was pretty cold, about 12 degrees and super overcast and wet. I had on a tank top, two long sleeves, a t shirt, a sweatshirt and a windbreaker and then leggings and joggers overtop. Like mother like daughter lol I was the perfect temp. We stopped lots along the way at all the amazing viewpoints and also to stretch the legs and give our bottoms a break. The motorbikes were “crotch rockets” as dad likes to say and by day 3 my butt was so sore. The price you pay for being a passenger princess! We stopped at this one place where you could watch the women making clothes and bags. They were weaving and painting and I wish I could have bought so many things but we only brought our day backpacks and it was already bursting so I just bought a keychain. We were told all about how Vietnamese women are known for being extremely hardworking. They had to be because historically the men were constantly at war. The day was amazing, such a cool experience.

We made it to our hostel finishing the day around 430. We were there with about half the group so 35 ish people and we were the only ones at the hostel which was super fun. The room had 14 mattresses on the floor and not an inch of space in between. Crammed like sardines but it was only for a night and I’m no diva I can sleep anywhere (foreshadowing a bit here... ) We played some card games and pool before dinner was served. It was done family style and we split up our group and sat with new people (not intentionally but super happy we did). The food was so good, rice, tofu, spring rolls, salad, rice chips, beef and pork. We traded our meat for the next tables tofu. There was also this chilli garlic soy sauce and a sweet chilli that I poured on everything. Ugh so yummy. They also fed us happy water shots all dinner. I could do a whole post about happy water but illl just give you the jist.

Happy water is basically corn wine. Because northern Vietnam is so mountainous it’s really hard to grow food so they started planting corn to sustain themselves. The consistency is just like water but it tastes like alcohol lol. They gave it to us in water bottles (like you would with moonshine) and you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between it and water by just looking at it. They taught us a Vietnamese chant and fed us shots all throughout dinner. Let me tell you it lived up to its name. Maybe the best drunk I’ve ever had? Actually a tie with one night in Australia drinking goon but anyways it had me, a person who typically hates karaoke, grabbing the mic and screaming the classics. The vibes we immaculate, it was so much fun. Nick sang brown eyed girl (little homage to yours truly).

We made some friends from the states and tried to teach them our card game rules, but they were pretty stubborn and annoying about our variation. Ended up having a bit of an argument with them as they wouldn’t shut up about New York City being the best and greatest city in the world blah blah blah. They were pretty arrogant and it was a shame cause they were so cool at first. Would it shock you to know that they’re from New York? If that’s the hill they want to die on so be it, I could never make such a blanket statement having never of even visited BILLIONS of cities out there. Oh well. We put ourselves to bed around midnight and recharged for our next day.