#and I’m still not interested in hearing from terfs and I will block them :)))

[sapphia]

It’s only really just occurred to me that a lot of the people who say, “Harry Potter wasn’t even that big a deal, they were bad books that just got a bit of hype.” actually don’t really understand the effect that Harry Potter had because they’re too young. They’re born after 2000 and, to them, Harry Potter has just been another fandom like the Avengers or Twilight, that got a bit of a fanbase before publishers and production companies did what they always do and made a slate of movies for.

And I really need to emphasise that that’s NOT the case at all. Harry Potter was massive before things really got massive. Children’s books like Percy Jackson getting movies didn’t really happen before Harry Potter did it first (and the ones that did were often old classic books, or straight to DVD or got cheap BBC miniseries instead. Google Five Children and It trailer. That was the bar for children’s book adaption. Old, and cheap).

Hell, movie series weren’t even a thing back then. This isn’t entirely due to Harry Potter - Lord of the Rings also had a part in this. In the early 2000s, Peter Jackson had to fight tooth and nail in order to get the Lord of the Rings trilogy, three bricks of a book series, made into three whole movies instead of one. The studios were dead set on only having a single movie, thinking that a whole trilogy (THREE movies!) would be too long and commercially unviable. You would never get that these days - even when Jackson came back and made the hobbit, one much smaller book than a single volume of LotR, they split that into three because of how successful series like LotR and HP had been.

Harry Potter must have been one of the earliest books to get a series film deal while the series was still being written, and this is entirely because the books were so popular the producers knew they could get an audience for all seven. And that was so wildly successful that now all you see are series.

If Twilight created the modern day push for YA literature as its own genre, Harry Potter started the renaissance that allowed children’s literature to thrive so much it COULD be split into children and teen audiences. Before Harry Potter, children’s stories were simpler, more child focussed, and appealed only really to children - Harry Potter is one of the only books in recent years that has managed to appeal to both children and adult audiences. (His Dark Materials also does it to an extent but that’s more to do with its mature themes and the nature of fantasy). And that’s a large part of its success - Harry Potter wasn’t considered just a children’s book, it was considered a book. Adults were as invested in Harry Potter as kids. When I bought my preorder copy from a bookstore, after I read it I’d give it to my parents so they could read it too. My childless aunts and uncles had their copies, because it was a story that appealed to them.

This was unprecedented - not since the Hobbit. And that had had a full, adult-orientated series behind it to drive adult interest. Plus it was written 50 years ago when frankly the literature marketed was less genre-fied, and less competitive. The Chronicles of Narnia sort of managed to be considered literature despite being a children’s book, but you’ll notice that that is still classed heavily in the children’s category and not widely read by adults - and this only really happened with one of its books, not all seven.

Harry Potter is credited with getting an entire generation to read. And that’s not entirely an exaggeration - interest was high. I’ve still never seen the preorder hype for ANY book anywhere near that of each of the later Harry Potter books.

It also showed children - and publishers - that they could read and be interested in longer books. Again, twilight wouldn’t exist purely for length purposes had Harry Potter not published longer and longer books, showing there was a market for that even in children’s fiction.

One of my favourite authors is Tamora Pierce, who writes YA. When she took her original manuscript to a publisher, they made her cut it into four parts and basically rewrite the entire story because they didn’t think a lengthy fantasy book would be able to sell. Now, I love Alanna, but you can tell that originally it wasn’t meant as a quartet, even more so than her later books (also published in fours) which are a bit more cohesive. It would be almost fifteen years before she finally got a chance to publish a work as a single, full volume - and she only got to do that because Harry Potter showed publishers that long works can sell.

For a lot of “trends” in publishing, there’s an element of “right place, right time”. For example, witches are popular right now in fantasy, so if you’ve written a witch book, you’ve gotten lucky. It’s very hard to write to trend as books take years to get written and published, by which time the world has likely moved on.

Sometimes people and books create trends - the Hunger Games created YA dystopia, for example. This was a little bit “right place right time”, despite being a very good series, because YA was booming and people were searching for the “next twilight” (hence the focus on love triangles from pop culture - it was the one similarity it had to twilight). Twilight itself was another trend - the first series to do what Harry Potter had done ten years before. But again, it did this because it filled a niche that Harry Potter had left for it- people were looking for “the next Harry Potter” (and twilight appeals to the Harry Potter generation, who’d grown up into teens by this point- not a coincidence). It’s fantasy, it appeals to parents and children alike (even if that’s mostly female), and it has a raw appeal. It’s a story that can be enjoyed by adults despite being simply written enough to be understood by children, or in this case teenagers, it’s primary audience.

So Harry Potter created the niche that twilight filled. But you have to understand, nothing created Harry Potter’s niche. Sure, the tropes and concepts it pulled from had existed and been popular - it followed a long tradition of fantasy stories and was a “natural next step” to a genre that had gone from the Hobbit to Earthsea to Diana Wynne Jones.

But in terms of the publishing niche? Harry Potter created that all for itself. It was a revolution. It literally created a phenomenon in a way we’d never seen before, in such a massive industry and cultural shakeup that I don’t think we’ll see again, at least not on that scale, and not in the near future. It created a millionaire author in just four books. It created an author celebrity. Steven King has spent his entire career working to get a sliver the fame that JKR achieved basically overnight. Harry Potter remains the most successful series ever by a ridiculously large margin, and it didn’t get there by being bad. It didn’t get there by being average. It didn’t get there by being the right book at the right time to fill an existing niche, because that niche didn’t exist. Hell, the idea of niches didn’t really exist, not like they do now.

So that’s some context for you. When people say that Harry Potter revolutionised the book industry and had a huge cultural impact, they don’t mean that they personally read and liked the book. They mean exactly what they say. Harry Potter was a tossed rock into a lake, and all the media you’re consuming today, from 30-movie long comic adaptation universes to the new YA trend, are ripples created by just how enormously huge Harry Potter’s splash was.

[eulangelo]

callout for @genderfluidlucifer

google docs

tw for transmisogyny + TERFs + emotional manipulation

Transmisogyny

Lucifer is a huge transmisogynist who will complain 24/7 about how TERFs hurt the ace community, but the moment @randomclustermissile , a trans girl (who is not an exclusionist at all) tries to point out transmisogyny in inclusionist circles (in the most vague and general way possible, without pointing fingers nor calling anyone names) Lucifer will immediatly jump to block her and so they did with me (another inclusionist) and i have to suppose to everyone else who agreed with that post, even arriving to vagueing about us in private group chats to suggest that we were “sympathizing with exclusionists”. all because we dared point out transmisogyny in inclusionist circles. lucifer is TME but apparently they think they’re the authority on TERFs and their talking points but actual trans women are not, according to them, since this is the stuff that they would go and spew to other people. (screenshots from @enbyoctoling​)

here’s more examples of Lucifer (again, a transmasc person) going deep in detail about how according to them, TERFs/SWERFs hate aro/ace people and are an active threat to us

1. link

[Image ID: Three screenshots of a post by Genderfluidlucifer. The first screenshot is of a paragraph that reads, "Hey. So I can actually answer this. Anon your commentary about how you thought terfs would approve of sex repulsed aces is sort of it. Except...not. Basically terfs hate ace people for not wanting sex in the approved by terfs way. Terfs are actually extremely interested in [forcing] amatonormativity onto everyone. Because for as sex negative as terfs are...they don't want to actually acknowledge or change the fact that amatonormativity is at the root cause of rape culture and misogyny."

The second screenshot is a zoomed in section of the post that reads, "So yeah no I have NO idea where exclus allies are getting this idea from that terfs would even remotely care about the sexual rights of ace people. Terfs generally hate any sexualities in the LGBTQ+ acronym that aren't LGB because they can't force a gender binary onto those sexualities. At least, not as easily. That's why it's actually a massive sign of someone who doesn't call themselves a terf being a crypto terf if they use the term LGB in a positive manner. Along with the term SGA, as it is deliberately exclusive of nonbinary and not inherently SGA centric queer-aligned sexualities. /END ID]

link to the full post, these are just excerpts but the whole thing is just a very long rant about how TERFs hate ace people and so on (i think it’s worth noticing that although the actual post is kinda long, trans women are never once brought op in a conversation about TERFs issues and the only time transmisogyny is mentioned is not relevant to the conversation)

2. link

[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblog by genderfluidlucifer. The original poster is nothorses. It reads, "Because apparently I have to say it: Testosterone is not a 'violent' hormone. It doesn't make you 'more aggressive' or a worse person, it doesn't make you 'dangerous,' or 'toxic.' Transmascs do not need to be 'warned of the dangers of T.' We do not need to spend our transitions terrified that we're going to become a danger to those around us - that HRT is going to turn us into a monster.

Everyone experiences mood swings during hormonal shifts (pregnancy, menstruation, menopause, estrogen HRT, etc.) and while you might have grumpy moments or feel anger/frustration that you need to learn to handle differently, that doesn't make you a bad person.

Testosterone can change the way you access/process emotions somewhat, but if you're already thoughtful about how you handle your feelings and treat others, you're going to be fine. It's normal to lash out on occasion, by accident, then apologize and work to do better. It doesn't make you a bad person. Everyone on HRT is prone to this, and everyone experiencing hormonal changes is prone to this.

Getting HRT should be positive and affirming; you should not have to spend your entire transition terrified of becoming a monster."

The post then has a reblog by captainlordauditor that reads, "The big danger of T is that needle ouchy." /END ID]

here’s them reblogging from known transmisogynist user @nothorses (once again, the irony that a post about how testosterone is seen as the "aggressive hormone" does not mention transfem at all which are literally the main victims of this rethoric in the first place)

3. link (1), link (2)

[Image ID: Two screenshots of posts by genderfluidlucifer. The first screenshot reads, "Queer exclus: We're not repackaging terf rhetoric! Saying that is transmisogynistic! Also queer exclus: Remove the plus from LGBT!" and has tags that say, "I will pay these people to grow some god damn self awareness. Imagine being this dense. Queer discourse." The post has 15 notes.

The second screenshot reads, "Honestly it is so stupid and frustrating to see ace exclus continue to deny that the ace discourse was started by terfs. Proof was given countless times. And a big name terf like galesofnovember even admitted to starting it. Those of you who demand proof but ignore all of this never wanted proof to begin with." and is tagged with, "ace discourse. The post has 38 notes. /END ID]

heres another two post of theirs conflating TERFs with ace exclusionism

4. link

[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblogged post by furbearingbrick. The original poster is boxlizard, Lucifer's old account. The original post reads, "By the way for people still in denial about it, here's galesofnovember, a terf, admitting that she intended to start the ace exclus movement. She's taking credit for it. Normally if the victims of this behavior weren't ace/aro or other queer identities y'all be ready to rightfully lynch her. But since it's us, y'all just still wanna stamp your feet and go, 'Nuh uh!' instead of acknowledging facts." The part that says, "admitting that she intended to start the ace exclus movement" is a link to a galesofnovember post.

There is then a reblogged addition from furbearing brick that reads, "archived versions of the receipts" and has two links to the webarchive. The tags read, "Bringing this back since it's apparently still relevant. Terfism mention. Aphobia mention. Queerphobia mention. Blocklist." and has 1,455 notes. /END ID]

this is their post that ive already talked about but basically they found a 52 notes post made by a TERF in 2012 and this one person said "i dont know why i dont get to be the princess of the anti-ace-brigade" and apparently they are convinced that this means TERFs started the ace exclusionism movement and that this is one of their goals. which is insane when TERFs in real life only care about making life miserable for transfem people first and foremost.

5.link

[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblog by genderfluidlucifer. The original poster is yu-gay-fudo. It reads, “Just in case you happen to be unaware, some of the “radfem lite” they post to warm you up to their rhetoric, just off the top of my head:

- Ace/aro exclusionism

- Bi exclusionism or claims that bi people are “less queer” bc of “straight passive privilege”

- Saying you have to be dysphoric to identify as transInvalidating nonbinary people

- Calling queer a slur regardless of context, saying people can’t identify as queer, and saying that it can’t be reclaimed

- “Mogai hell”, “kweer”, or otherwise mocking less common labels and claiming they are “just cishets who want to feel special”

- Excluding sex workers from feminist discussions or claiming that sex work is inherently evil

- Basically anyone who thinks they can determine what other people identify as”. The tags read, "queerphobia tw. twerfs tw. no id." and has 70,727 notes. It was reblogged on March 22nd, 2021 /END ID]

another example of conflating radfems to things that, while wrong, have little to nothing to do with them because being a radfem, again, is something very specific that has all to do with transfem oppression.

Emotional manipulation

Lucifer has done nothing but block, break boundaries, spread lies and vague about people, some of which were even mutuals with them knowing they would see the posts. when confronted about it Lucifer's only answer was "just say you hate me and block me" but they actually ended up blocking everyone first, making it impossible for anyone to set some boundaries with them or even just to calmly confront them about anything.

[proof: Io(popncourse) and Lucifer had a disagreement in a shared discord server, which prompted Lucifer to vague Io in a vent post. Io confronted them, as being vagued is one of buns triggers, to which Lucifer initially agreed to delete the vent post, but then proceeded to victimize themself and immediatly blocked Io. later on, Jude(malewifedeckard) was confronted by Lucifer, then after Jude told them “I’m worried that you’ll vague me just like you did with Io” they proceeded to block Jude and vagued about him too. when Io made a post (which was not a callout, it was just bun setting buns boundaries) explaining what Lucifer did, Lucifer immediatly jumped to victimize themself, acting like they were being called out and straight-up lying, even going so far as to say that no one tried to hear them out, which is a blatant lie if you consider the aforementioned Io and Jude’s attempts at doing so, with Lucifer immediatly blocking and cutting ties with the both of them. ] 

(screenshots taken by @popncourse and @malewifedeckard)

as seen in the proof above Lucifer’s behaviour is not ok because they don’t accept any kind of confrontation and immediatly jump to blocking, and after blocking, they'd immediatly go and vague about the people who confronted them pacificly, spreading more lies and painting themself as the victim and even arriving to say “no one hears me out at all” which is simply not something you can say when you block people who are trying to hear you out in the first place.

this is by no means an invitation to go and harass them, send them hate or anything like that. i absolutely don’t want anything even remotely hateful or negative to be sent their way after this post. 

this post was only made because:

1. as an ace person who fully supports the inclusion of aspec identities in the lgbt+ community i don’t want to support an enviroment that costantly downplays transmisogynistic oppression in order to be taken seriously. there are hundreds of ways to make aspec activism without acting like we(as in TME aspecs)are the victims of a system that seeks for the annihilation of transfemenine people in real life everyday. i especially don’t want to support TME individuals who act transfem-friendly but then block any transfem who tries to speak on transmisogyny without a second thought.

2. Lucifer’s behaviour has hurt two friends of mine and i don’t want to associate with someone who actively breaks people’s boundaries without taking accountability when messing up.

3. i cannot associate with someone who spreads lies about me accusing me of sympathizing with exclusionists all while having me blocked so that i can’t see it nor defend me. they complain about people not hearing them out but they’re the very first person who does not try to hear people out, and instead jumps to spread baseless rumors. this is not someone i can nor want to associate with. 

(image descriptions provided by @malewifedeckard)

[mxmagestyk]

Hi! You can call me A.T., Alexander, or Alex. This is PSA for those who have stumbled across my main tumblr page:

I am 19, but please don’t be creepy still

I know better than to give out any personal info to people I don’t know, nice try

I am asexual, and just generally not interested in any of that thank you (see this post for my current list of labels)

I will block you without warning if you’re gonna be a creep

DNI:

24+ unless I follow you or you’re someone I know irl

Transphobic

Homophobic

Xenophobic

Racist

Ableist

Pedophiles/MAPs(because duh)

TERFs

A$$hole to furries

A$$hole to neurodivergent people

Steals art/posts without giving credit (though I do understand if you traced from a base you found online and don’t know who the OP is, I fall into that category a lot)

Unwilling to listen to viewpoints differing from your own

Your acc is basically just p0rn

You don’t believe in self diagnosis

Proshippers

You ship any characters with other characters in complete disregard of their canonical identity (e.g. shipping aroace character in romantic or sexual ways, lesbians with men, etc.)

Don’t agree with the BLM movement

Transmedicalists

If I tell you to go away, just do it.

You may:

Curse (I curse a lot but I will try not to if you need me to. Let me know personally if you do need me to, and I’ll keep cursing to a minimum with you in mind! /g)

Vent to me*

*use trigger warnings beforehand please (I reserve the right to dip out of the conversation with no warning. It has taken me a long time to realize that I don’t need to “just deal with” what makes me uncomfortable. I have the choice to take space away from those things. Know that if I stop responding, it’s usually not by any fault of yours.)

Critique my art

Repost/trace my art, with credit

Ask me questions

Message me any time of day (I’ll see it when I check tumblr)

Use tone tags (in fact those are greatly appreciated, and I use them whenever I can)

Some basics about me:

I use he/they pronouns, however any pronouns except she are fine (some of my labels include queer and aroace, respectively)

I’m an artist

I’m an atheist

If I care deeply about something, you aren’t going to hear the end of it (e.g. my post about consent)

I’m also fairly active on Instagram, so here -> Link to IG (search mx.magestyk if the link doesn’t work) (and my TikTok for good measure /lh)

Edits:

You don’t get it - amphibia edit (original edit by me)

Back stabber - amphibia edit (original edit by me)

Back stabber - amphibia edit v.2 [tw for stabbing!] (original edit by me)

Are we still friends - amphibia edit {without text} (original edit by me)

Are we still friends - amphibia edit {with text} (original edit by me)

Icarus - eternals edit (original edit by me)

Back stabber - eternals edit [TW for character death!] (original edit by me)

Kiss me - toh edit ((Lumity)) [s2e20 spoilers] (original edit by me)

The forbidden note ™️ - amphibia edit (original edit by me)

Headcanons:

Toh

Memes:

Zelda BOTW [part one] (originals by me)

No bitches :) (original by me)

Extras:

Aroace peridot - steven universe fanart (semi-original artwork by me)

Totally not my ponysona (semi-original artwork by me)

Kermit the frog - acnh style (original artwork by me)

Grindeldore moodboard (original by me)

Lumity moodboard (original by me)

Raeda y2k background (original by me)

Lumity y2k background (original by me)

Hautisme Miku (original by me)

Evergreen/Arsonist - Katzun fan art (original by me)

Evergreen/Arsonist [2] - Katzun fan art (original by me)

Digital art series:

Color picked pride flags - pokemon

Celebi -> aromantic flag

Celebi -> agender flag

Sylveon -> trans flag

Gastly -> asexual flag

Nidoran -> genderqueer flag

Drifloon -> nonbinary flag

Mudkip -> aroace flag

Parasect -> lesbian flag

Oshawott -> oriented aroace flag

Shinx -> Platoniromantic flag

Inkay -> Pansexual flag

Snivy -> aroallo flag

Themed Playlists:

If you understand this reference, I love you

🖤❤️Harley Quinn❤️🖤

POV: you were a gifted kid

Margot Robbie vibes

Camp Half Blood

Queer longing (wlw)

Queer longing (mlm)

sylvie laufeydottir vibes

The EAH Girls

Grindeldore vibes

17

Party Playlist

Sheriarty

Pansexual

Johnlock

Lumity🏳️‍🌈🌸👑

Falling in love

Bad girl coven 😎👉👉

Raeda 🧡💚

The Owl House series vibes

Cruella vibes

Life Is Strange series vibes

Transmasc

Stranger Things vibes

Our Flag Means Death vibes

Eddie Munson (owns my heart)

Bad Bitch Energy

Boyflux

Hot Trans Summer

Tony Stark’s Playlist

All hail Loki, God of Mischief

POV: you have undiagnosed autism

Thor Odinson’s Playlist

Carol Danvers’ playlist

Steve Harrington’s mixtape

Ravenclaw

Gryffindor

Hufflepuff

Slytherin

Ramona Flowers’ Playlist

Transmasc 2.0

Transfemme [under construction]

Hunter “Golden Guard” Noceda’s Playlist [under construction]

Catra’s Playlist [under construction]

Five “Vee” Noceda’s Playlist [under construction]

Luz Noceda’s Playlist [under construction]

Max Mayfield’s Mixtape [under construction]

Will Byers’ Mixtape

Transmasc at peace

Transmasc at peace (clean)

Bruce Banner’s playlist [under construction]

🌌🌑 Ineffable husbands 🌕🌠

🌿 The Last Of Us 🌿 [under construction]

Fanfics:

Candlelight (Queenie Goldstein x gender neutral!reader) [angst, oneshot]

Shattered (Draco malfoy x Harry Potter) [light shipping, angst, oneshot]

Can’t Help Falling In Love (Remus Lupin x Sirius Black) [angst?, oneshot]

Hold It In (Sirius Black x Remus Lupin) [light shipping, fluff?, oneshot]

Icon requests:

Rules and general info

Send requests to @lgbtq-character-icons (my tumblr dedicated specifically to these requests)

Moodboard requests:

Rules and general info

Send requests to @xxcharacter-moodboard-requestsxx (my tumblr dedicated specifically to these requests)

Have fun wandering the cluster-fuck that is my tumblr page ;] /lh /hj

-🌀

[icaruskeyartist]

Okay, so I’ve been ruminating on a reply I got from a TERF. Since this is “Icarus gives a shit about his mental health” week, I blocked her, but I copied the message too.

I must be TERF extreme because I’m reading this:

“The want to detransition us, force us to accept our “role” as women, make us proud of the parts of ourselves that often make us the most uncomfortable in our own skin. “

And thinking, yeah sounds fucking amazing? I mean apart from the use of the word ‘role’ imagine learning that there is nothing wrong with your gender, rather it’s your own maladaptive way of coping with misogny and the shit about yourself you’re not comfortable with, and literally working hard to come to terms with that? I mean who wouldn’t love to learn to love and live with themselves as they are, no hiding behind a mask, medicine, surgery and fake social documentation.

I am interested in this response because it does not join the ranks of TERFs either willfully or genuinely misunderstanding the point I was trying to make about TERFs inexorably being linked with racism, eugenics, and white supremacy. And it doesn’t harp on the fact that I called womanhood a “role” like TERFs were doing before they realized they couldn’t get under my skin that way.

So, here’s the thing y’all. I’m a gender abolitionist. Please, feel free to unfollow me if you don’t agree, but hear me out first. I think the true end goal of feminism is to destroy the idea of male and female entirely. 

Does this mean that binary trans people and people whose gender identity is important to them would lose these markers? No, especially not within my lifetime. Unfortunately,  when I imagine my utopia end goal, it’s a world that never had gender and social roles like this to begin with. So I don’t think we’lll ever really be letting go of the idea of gender like I see it. 

What I imagine instead will be a sort of... uncoupling, if you will. I’ll use a metaphor of sorts. Say you have a house. The house is society. A very important joist is in the basement, and that joist is being supported by a 4x4 post. A 4x4 post looks like this:

Pretty damn stocky right?

So this 4x4 post is labelled “sex” and it’s got a pretty damn important job. The sex labelled “woman” tend to be the nurturers and gatherers, while the sex labelled “man” tend to be protectors and hunters. Woman and man develop and evolve into these roles, and slowly as society advances, social expectations are put around them, religious reasons to explain these differences, etc etc. 

Of course this is overly simplistic but please keep in mind I’m just sorta doing a big big picture here with this dumb metaphor. 

Time goes on and people start to realize, hey, maybe that 4x4 post is a little rotten and it needs replacing. There’s other important joists being held up around them, and some are connected to this post and it’s really really important to get it fixed as soon as possible. 

Well, the store is out of 4x4′s. Okay fine! We’ll get 2 2x4′s and bolt them together and call it a day. Here’s a picture so you can see how the 2 2x4′s match the 4x4 

It ends up being the same, and when they’re bolted together, it’s still pretty damn strong, so we’ll put these in place of the rotten 4x4 and call it a day. 

Well one 2x4 is still called “sex” and the other is a new thing called “gender”. Admittedly, gender has been around for awhile; in fact the 4x4 was sometimes called gender instead of sex and it’s all a bit confusing for awhile. But here we are. 

We start to see more and more people who look at the 2x4′s and realize, hey, maybe their “sex” and “gender” don’t really line up. I was born with this sex’s parts, but when I look at the gender that I’m bolted to, it doesn’t really line up to who I am. I am that other gender. 

And at the same time we have people whose sex and gender do match, but the weight they’re holding doesn’t fit right. I was born with this sex’s parts, and I look at my gender and it feels right too, but I’m a knot. I need extra support or I might lose a chunk of myself. Or I’m a really really strong part of the wood. Let me take more weight even though the structure is telling me that I’m not supposed to. 

Are you still with me here? Because that’s about where we are currently I think.

Now, we’re realizing hey! This support system for this big old house? It’s not really that great, you know? They kinda cheaped out, nailed finished hardwood directly to the joists, didn’t fill in the crumble foundation properly, all of that. Everything is hurting, including the 2x4′s bolted together holding a really important joist. 

Let’s just redesign the foundation of the house, what do you say? 

So the 2x4′s are still good yeah? They’re not rotten like the old 4x4, but maybe they’d be more useful in other parts of the foundation. That really important joist is still going to need to be held up, but maybe we want to put a wall there instead of a singular post. And the two 2x4′s will be part of it, but there’s a lot of other 2x4′s, some connected, some not, but all holding and distributing the weight of that joist. 

Okay, so if you haven’t left me because this whole metaphor is from an actual singular 2x4 in my basement I can’t stop worrying about well... thank you for one. 

For two, that’s what this reblog started me thinking about. How my idea of gender abolition is to completely pull those two 2x4′s apart and add a bunch more. So while they’re still there and important as individual pieces, they’re just part of a much wider support system. 

Does that make sense?

The rest of the TERFs argument, about surgery and medical intervention, I mean, that’s something the WPATH currently forces trans people to do. Teens and children can’t get access to HRT through informed consent unless they’re medically emancipated (at least that’s how I understand it? correct me if I’m wrong). And surgeries generally need therapy letters if you want it covered. 

I don’t think this TERF quite understands that gender dysphoria is just like cis bodily dysphoria but with an extra kick. Cause cis people certainly can look at their bodies, from their breasts to their jawline to the way their body retains fat despite us no longer needing to hoard it like our ancestors, and hate it with every much of mental, emotional, and physical debilitation as a trans person. We just get a fancy name for it because it’s literally tied into the fact that my brain says “where’s our dick and why do we got boobs” when I look at myself in the mirror.

What’s funny, as I finish this ramble, is that I think, in my world and my idea of gender abolition, cis people who experience body dysphoria would actually be taken more seriously. The stigma around plastic surgery would be lessened because there’s not this huge pressure to fit a “natural” standard of beauty that’s being artificially curated through photoshop, facetune, and covert surgeries. 

It’d just be... people. Being people. And I agree with this TERF there. There’s something wonderful in the idea of learning to love and live in your body -- 

-- and getting the medical help you need to make sure it’s well and truly yours. 

[quietfangirltranscription]

Intro post!

The user formally known as quietartisticfangirl, now trying to actually look. Legit. And cohesive. On Tumblr. I promise I’m smart. Just bad at functioning.

I do transcripts and scripts of tiktoks I find, and I also just kinda reblog whatever sounds interesting or funny. I aim to make my transcripts helpful for deaf/hard of hearing people and work with screen readers. Any and all criticism is welcome. If you wanna toss money my way, it’s much appreciated, but I don’t have anywhere you can toss money to yet. I’m working on it.

About me!

I’m from the USA and I have... let’s say eclectic hobbies. I love writing, which is why I’m doing this, and I’m not really a people person. You probably guessed that part, since I’m on Tumblr and all.

I believe that most humans, when their needs are met and they’re given the chance, are kind. Not all, obviously, and far too many people aren’t getting their needs met, but most.

I want to make my blog a safe place for anyone and everyone who needs it, and if that means blocking people that make my blog unsafe, I’ll do it with gleeful abandon. Needless to say, transphobes are not welcome. This includes TERFs and radfems and “gender criticals”. No bigotry of any kind allowed.

I’m queer, mentally disabled, and punk in all but aesthetic. Anti-censorship, anti-capitalist, and still learning, so I’m probably going to get things wrong. I’ll explain things that I think I know about, but again, I’ll probably get things wrong. Please correct me when I do. I don’t want to speak for the voiceless, I want to give the voiceless a space to communicate in their own way and not talk over them.

I don’t really keep track of the fandoms I’m in? With most fandoms I get started, get distracted, and then get the rest of the information from the wiki and pop culture osmosis.

Enjoy your stay!

[koncreates]

this is a real question and not trying to be mocking, feel free to not post if u dont want and discourse ((if this counts as it)) but is it transphobic to not want to date//have a sexual relationship a, lets say a transwomen, while being a lesbian because youre not... attracted to dick? if that makes sense? not that youre denying shes a women, but u dont like dick? im sorry if this is wrong. im just wondering

I am extremely not an authority on this since I neither have a penis nor am a lesbian, and I will be honest that this ask sounds a fuckton like bait to get me to say something transphobic or lesbophobic.  But, like a fool hoping that it is a genuine question and giving you the benefit of the doubt, I’m going to do my level best to answer it for you!

Just to set the record straight: i’m a transmasc dude who does not experience sexual attraction or desire, in a relationship with a nonbinary person who DOES experience sexual attraction and desire.  While that’s... almost the exact opposite of what you’re asking about, I think there’s potential that i can offer a little insight.  

First of all: People should be romantically (i.e. wanting to date, if you experience romantic attraction) people to you first and foremost, not genitals.  Personality traits and hobbies and quirks and favorite colors and the sound of a laugh and the look of a smile, not a penis or vagina.

If you meet a girl and you like to hang out with her, and want to date her, but learn she is transgender and immediately recoil and lose all the attraction or positive feeling you had for her based on her personality, looks, interests, ect before knowing intimate details such as her genitalia or medical history, then yes, I would say that is transphobic. (Bolded for ease of TLDR)  

She wasn’t fooling you with being trans.  You were attracted to her just the same way you would be attracted to a cis person.  The fact that she didn’t start a conversation with “Hello, I have a penis actually” is exactly the same as how you don’t start conversations with “Hello, I don’t shave my pubic hair actually” or “Hello, I have a genetic predisposition to strokes from my mother’s side of the family.”  It is intimate information that you don’t usually share unless you are close with someone and believe you can trust them.  

HOWEVER.  The act alone of not wanting to have sex with a penis does not make you transphobic.  I will talk more on this a bit further down.

Now here’s a pitfall I think people fall in to a lot: If you find someone unattractive because of their looks, personality, politics, or whatever reason you are not attracted to them, you aren’t required to date them.  You don’t have to give a reason why you don’t want to date them, and it’s generally seen as the right thing to do that if someone who does not fit your standards of attractive asks you out, you politely turn them down.  You should never feel pressured into any relationship, and if anyone hounds you for an answer as to why you don’t want to date, that’s on them.  If you don’t know someone/don’t like their personality/don’t feel romantically attracted to them, you are not required to date them!  

Nobody is required to find any one thing attractive, but boiling a person’s entire identity down to what is in their pants is in essence dehumanizing.  An intersex girl might have a dick as well, would you feel the same way when you found out, or is it the transgender title that gets to you?  I’m not trying to be accusatory, but it’s a very important factor to think about.

If your only reason to not date someone is “she’s trans” it does still make you transphobic.  If this is the case, I really encourage you to think about why exactly you believe this.  If, according to all your other standards, you would date her, why does her being transgender matter to you?

From the letter of your ask, it sounds like you would be fine dating a girl if she had bottom surgery.  That’s intimate knowledge that you would probably only learn after dating her for a while or at the very least being friends with her for longer.  Would her status of having had surgery or not having had surgery affect your feelings for her?  I’m not saying that she would or should keep being trans a secret from you for a long time during dating, but the main takeaway here is “Would you feel revolted immediately just by hearing her say she was trans?  Would you be constantly wondering about if she had or hadn’t gotten surgery?”

I Hope this next section will be very helpful to answering your question and hopefully easing some of your fears about dating a trans person.

There is a lot more to dating than having sex, and there’s a lot more to sex than genital on genital contact!  You can go on dates and can enjoy each other’s company, you can have long talks and get sentimental, you can go out to dinner and watch lights on the water by the beach.  There is plenty to a relationship that is not sexual, and even without being asexual I think it’s an important thing to make sure you don’t form a relationship souly on the basis of sexual actions.

With that being said, there are plenty of sexual things you can do that don’t require penis-in-vagina contact?  If her penis makes you uncomfortable by existing (and if she’s dysphoric, she might feel similarly), it’s a conversation that you should have when you get to that point in your relationship.  If after dating her for a while yall decide to have sex, you should discuss ways that don’t involve penetration and don’t involve you giving her oral and, just like in any other relationship, it’s important to express boundaries.  You can figure out toys that you enjoy using on her, you can find toys you enjoy when she uses on you.  You can figure out plenty of ways to satisfy each other that do not involve touching her penis and either making you uncomfortable or her dysphoric.  It just takes communication.  

Most trans people (including myself) are ready and open for conversations like this from our significant others.  We want happy relationships, and we know that requires communication.  I don’t think your girlfriend is going to react to you saying “I’m uncomfortable with the idea of penetration/touching your penis” with rage and vitriol.  She shouldn’t, in fact.  It’s the same as if I said to my partner “I’m uncomfortable with the idea of you eating me out”.  It’s a boundary that you should share and that she should listen to.  

If you’ve been together for (however long it takes you to want to sleep with someone you date) you should both be comfortable enough with each other to act like the adults you are and have a conversation with one another.  

If any transwomen following me have something to add on or correct me on, please feel free.  Like I said, I’m a transman, and my experiences are vastly different from what theirs might be.  I am absolutely not a scholarly source to get information from.  I’m just, quite literally, some guy.  These are just my opinions based on what I’ve seen said by transwomen and lesbians.  To get a better perspective on this, you should really find a transwoman to ask off anon.

I tried to be general and think about this from the perspective of if it were “My boyfriend is uncomfortable with me having a vagina”, but there is a lot of room for error there as well.  So again, transwomen and NB people with dicks and trans lesbians and cis lesbians with trans girlfriends please feel free to add on your take and personal perspective!!

Also TERFs/SWERFs/RADFEM/Transphobes do NOT fucking touch this post or get blocked on sight.

Trumeds should also watch their step because i do not take kindly to your exclusion.

[andihowl]

Polyamory is queer.

Or rather, Polyamorous folk are queer if they self-identify as such.

Below, I’ll be explaining why any attempt you make to deny that is by definition gatekeeping, and why you need to stop. This will be added to / updated as I talk to more polyamorous folk and hear more of their stories. This is not a debate, I will liberally use my block button, I’m just sick of repeating myself over and over in group after group because polyphobic assholes think they can throw polyam folk under the bus and we won’t say anything. Read. Think. Do better.

Given the shared premises that “queer” is being used in it’s non-pejorative, reclamative usage as an umbrella term representing sexual and gender minorities who have been marginalized and oppressed as a direct result of their identities, and that gatekeeping members of it is an inherently shitty thing to do (goodbye swerfs, terfs, aphobes, etc.), the main reasons I see for people denying polyamorous folk into queer spaces, or into queer discussions generally read like this:

why are we even having this discussion, omg, wtf, gtfo

it’s only used by skeezy heterobros who are looking to get a second girlfriend

it’s only used by skeezy “bi” couples who are unicorn hunting

there are oppressive countries around the world who are practicing polygamy and that’s certainly not good

it’s a kink

it’s a choice

it’s a practice, not an identity

it’s a relationship dynamic, not a sexual orientation or gender identity

everyone wants to be polyam anyway, it’s not an oppressed class.

I'm personally polyamorous, and I don't see it as an identity

I'm uncomfortable with cis-het-allo folk claiming the term queer

These arguments can be categorized more or less into the following main sections:

The Disregard

why are we even having this discussion, omg, wtf, gtfo

By disengaging conversation about this, you are preventing the growth and learning of the community, and you need to knock your shit off. Only through critically assessing our own behavior and the behavior of the community with which we engage can we ever hope to make ourselves, and our world, any better.

The Bad Actors

it’s only used by skeezy heterobros who are looking to get a second girlfriend

or

it’s only used by skeezy “bi” couples who are unicorn hunting

This is one of the weakest arguments against this, and one of the quickest debunked. Simply put, all identities have bad actors. I've certainly interacted with gay men who haven't taken no for an answer. I've certainly met bisexual people who have used their sexuality as an excuse to cheat on their partners. Just because bad actors exist within a community, does not invalidate the entire identity. You cannot hope to have such a diverse group of people from such diverse backgrounds and upbringings and mental health statuses and economic statuses and expect them all to behave and think the the same homogenous way. Not all gays are alike. Not all trans folk are alike. Not all polyam folk are alike. Deal with it, move on.

Conflation

there are oppressive countries around the world who are practicing polygamy and that’s certainly not good

or

it’s a kink

Polyamory =/= polygamy. Stop conflating the two. Polyamory (when referring to the practice) is the egalitarian ethical practice of non-monogamy between consenting adults. Polygamy is an authoritarian tool used by patriarchal societies to oppress and silence women, most often without consent. Stop conflating, and move on.

Also, Polyamory is not a kink. To call something a kink, you are tacitly and wilfully admitting that the behavior in question is and should be seen as deviant in society, and derives sexual pleasure out of that deviancy. Polyamory is not, at least not in any healthy relationships I've seen, practiced in such a shameful manner. If you're equating the two, maybe you should address your own underlying phobias regarding polyamory rather than gatekeeping others.

The Choice

it’s a choice

or

it’s a practice, not an identity

or

it’s a relationship dynamic, not a sexual orientation or gender identity

These are a bit trickier of a discussion. No, the United States, nor any other country offcially recognizes polyamory as a valid sexual orientation to be protected under federal law. And yes, some people feel they opt-in to a "polyamorous lifestyle". There have been studies conducted on this, and while many respondents to do not classify their polyamory as an orientation, many others did respond saying that they felt they were wired that way, that they felt they were that way since childhood, that monogamous relationships always felt wrong for them.

The polyamory community houses both types of folk, those who feel it's a lifestyle, as well as those who feel it is deeply engrained. As polyadvice writes (specifically toward other polyam folk):

Is polyamory an orientation? Why do we care? Why are we so caught up in whether the way we love other people is a way of being or a way of doing? Why do I get this question so often, and why are we all so invested in the answer?

  If you experience your polyamory as an innate part of your self, as something you are rather than something you do, great. It’s part of your orientation. We can split semantic hairs and say it’s a “relationship orientation” as opposed to a “sexual orientation.” Some people don’t experience it that way, and that’s fine too.

  What’s not fine is if we start fighting about it and make it some big political or identity-political issue within the [polyam] community. Because you know what? The rest of the world doesn’t care nearly as much about the nuances of our definitions. They’re prepared to deny us health insurance, child custody, media representation, hospital visitation, and plenty else regardless of whether we sort this out amongst ourselves. If we start turning on each other, there’s no one to have our backs.

Simply put, it's none of your damn business if it's an orientation or a choice. Even if it is a choice, as Michael Carey with Slate wrote:

We are all human first. Everything else—nationality, sex, race, orientation—is secondary, and irrelevant to our fundamental rights. As Brian D. Earp recently argued in “Future Tense,” even if homosexuality becomes a choice, mutable under pharmacological “treatment,” it should still be regarded as part of the normal range of human behavior. We should agree on the principle that anyone pursuing consensual, loving, respectful relationships, forming happy families, and participating productively in society should be welcomed, not ostracized in the name of irrational, ossified stigma.

Not Oppressed

everyone wants to be polyam anyway, it’s not an oppressed class.

Hooooooooold up there partner. Y'all gotta be kidding me. Let's put aside the fact that one of the most common thing's polyam folk hear when they come out to people is "well, that's nice, but I could never do it myself". Let''s put aside the comments/sneers of "so you just sleep with whoever you want?", or the automatic assumption that polyam folk are sluts/skeezes/sex-addicts/cheaters.

The fact of the matter is, for someone who is polyamorous, there are no legal protections for them, whether they be for housing, employment, or medical care (in any of the 50 United States or any other country that I'm aware of). That means if someone is outed at work, they can be fired on the spot for that reason. They can be kicked out of their apartment, lose their home, or be denied medical coverage because of it. Polyamorous relationships are not recognized as valid spouses in hospital situations, they cannot receive tax benefits for their relationship, and they are routinely denied next of kin rights and inheritance. Loss of child custody is common, as family courts do not recognize polyamory as a valid responsible child-rearing environment (which experience and common sense can tell us otherwise)

It's bad enough that Ann Sweeny argued in 2010 in favor of legally expanding the definition of sexual orientation to include polyamory to help protect polyam folk against these kind of grievances (you can download the original pdf argument at that link, it's a long but interesting read). An excerpt:

... polyamorists risk custody loss, workplace discrimination, loss of friends, alienation from their families, and ostracism from spiritual and other communities as a result of revealing their polyamory. In addition, their children often face discrimination at school. Indeed, in one study, nearly half of [polyam] respondents reported having experienced prejudice as a result of their polyamory. Additionally, Emens has noted that the “social hostility [against relationships involving more than two people] sustains various legal burdens on polyamorists, including two-person marriage and partnership laws, adultery and bigamy laws, [and] residential zoning laws.” Furthermore, Rambukkana documented negative reactions to the formation of an on-campus polyamory group that included the university newspaper’s public ridicule of the group on the basis that the group was comprised of “a bunch of ‘culty’ sex maniacs” and the suggestion that the group was a “recruitment machine” that sucked people in “‘with promises of sex and more sex.’”

She goes on to argue:

These forms of discrimination are considerable, and they have the potential to impose severe, indeed devastating, burdens on individuals who espouse polyamory... The many ways that monogamy (as represented by marriage) is privileged under the law, while non-monogamy is burdened, demonstrate that non-monogamous persons, including polyamorists, are oppressed under an “organising principle of inequality” and therefore that they meet Cooper’s test for extension of legal protections.

Honestly, go read that article. It lays out a lot more than I could ever hope to properly summarize here, and outlines pretty succinctly why polyamory is an oppressed class.

What goes for me goes for everyone

I'm personally polyamorous, and I don't see it as an identity

First off, wonderful! Thank you for being polyam and for demonstrating your courage and representation in a world that wants to erase you. Full stop.

Second off. It's fine if you don't feel like your polycraft is inherently part of your identity. That's allowed. Many Nonbinary folk don't feel trans describes their experience; many gay men don't like to use the term queer. That's fine, that's your biz. That doesn't mean that holds the same for everyone else, though, and you shouldn't be limiting the voice and power of others because you have enough privelege to disregard opression you may experience. They do deserve a voice, they do deserve rights, and you consistently chiming in saying "Well I don't" isn't helping the conversation, it's distracting and beside the point.

One person's experience with a community is not necessarily representative of an entire identity's experience with it, and you don't get to claim the right to silence the voices and experences of others in your community.

The Personal Appeal

I'm uncomfortable with cis-het-allo folk claiming the term queer

Well, I'm sorry you are uncomfortable. Honestly. It sucks. However dealing with an expanding and inclusive community is and should be uncomfortable. It should force us to ask questions we didn't want to ask. It should make us rethink things we once thought were firm and held dear.

But just as -allo was added to cis-het bring light to the added axis of identity and oppression that is the asexuality spectrum, it's about time we added -mono to that, to bring to light the fact that being polyam, and being polyam + other identities, brings with it unique problems and unique pride that is deserving of attention, and deserving a seat at the table.

Included Links and Additional Resources

CW: some of these links use the nickname "poly" for "polyamorous" rather than "polynesian". Inclusion here is not an endorsement of that kind of usage, as I have tried to refrain from that usage here and in my everyday conversation. Additionally, I have replaced its usage in the above quotations with [polyam] to prevent further crawlers linking to it.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-polyamorists-next-door/201610/is-polyamory-form-sexual-orientation

(http://polyadvice.tumblr.com/post/114048167048/this-might-be-a-question-you-get-often-but-is

https://slate.com/human-interest/2013/10/is-polyamory-a-choice.html

https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=1632653

https://everydayfeminism.com/2015/10/polyamorous-excluded-queer/

https://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2013/12/dan-savage-is-poly-queer.html

https://www.autostraddle.com/six-queers-on-polyamory-and-identity-419254/

[eggcats]

the abridged, less personal version of “wow men are unique individuals that can and do make great friends and partners, who knew? (everyone did, that’s who)”

I think it’s really interesting how it’s always stated how it’s expected for women to care about men’s interests while they don’t contribute to the woman’s and like, yeah, socially acceptable and expected but it’s always stated in a Very terfy feminism for babies way that says it like men won’t ever take an interest and/or shame the woman for not caring. And I’m like…..okay I guess but also get better guy friends/boyfriends asap pls?

Bc these posts make it seem like they have never heard of having friends who have different interests than you and rather expect them to participate 100% both ways - which I have never done. HOWEVER being a friend does mean that you pay attention and try to contribute when they talk to you about said thing. And believe it or not men can be shitty OR great friends Just Like Everyone Else.

It’s a two way street BC YOU’RE FRIENDS AND CARE ABOUT THE OTHER and *gasp* this includes cishet men Imagine. Also I have multiple cis guy friends who this relates too! Every single guy friend I’ve ever had has fit this bc I Wouldn’t Be Friends With Them if they didnt care about me? Why are you dating or talking these guys that are shitty friends???? I just could never relate to those posts bc like…..every single guy friend I’ve had has had different interests than me and yet???? We were still friends and so we paid attention to each other’s interests??? Why is this a hard concept that this doesnt relate solely to one gender.

ALSO with this “all men are one dimensional and dont care about you” terf feminism bullshit it ALSO allows for them to blame the women for the men being shitty friends/partners and takes off ALL of the responsibility of the men to be actually decent people.

Bc if you go through life w the mentality that “all men are like that” then when you hear someone complain about their guy friend/partner who either doesnt take an interest in them or is abusive or WHATEVER - rather than sympathize and want to help them you’re gonna fucking BLAME THEM FOR IT bc “well that’s what you get for dealing with men bc that’s how they are.”

But here in the Real World all men are NOT like that and if you got a shitty friend/partner you blame HIM for it and make HIM take responsibility.

Like all those posts that are Always dripping w terf politics it’s like, no???? I wouldn’t be friends w a guy who treated me like that NOR would I date him but ALSO if someone is dealing with that you put the blame on HIM for being shitty and NOT THEM FOR BEING WITH HIM BC “THAT’S HOW MEN ARE”????!!!

I mean also it’s not a huge problem I’ve had to deal with??? Like ever??? Its like the same idea that cis men are disgusted w periods and will freak out if they so much as see a pad and I’m like sure??? I guess???I’ve complained about my periods to every single cis guy friend I’ve had so like, choose better bc men Can and Are better than that.

Idk those posts bother me bc they always paint men as these one dimensional objects and give off the idea that if you have anything to do with them and they dont respect you or hurt you or whatever it’s your fault and NOT HIS when that’s hella fucked up (but this does come from terfy feminism so it’s not surprising).

Everytime I read one of those posts I just wonder if theyve ever had friends or if we’re operating under Terf (aka baby) Feminism that sees men as these one dimensional objects that dont have the capacity to be friends bc theyve watched a movie and decided all men were like this.

[Note: I dont give a fuck about any terf crowing about how much I’m “defending men” or whatever, your feminism is for babies bc it takes the bare core ideas and doesn’t think any further and was only something I could follow when I was Just Learning about feminism, I’m nonbinary and you can only refer to me with they/them anything else gets insta-blocked]

[spock-smokes-weed]

Look I’m that anon and the intent really wasn’t for you to punish yourself more. Guilt’s not a productive emotion for social activism, it’s frequently the opposite, it becomes a tool for silencing voices, spreading doubt, a tool for manipulators and people without scruples. Accidentally sharing an opinion with an ideology you condemn doesn’t make you a bad person. The most evil group in the world and the best group might both support vaccinations - ideology doesn’t work in inconvenient ‘good-smart bad-dumb’ lines as much as we like to pretend it does. Regurgitating arguments because they come from the ‘right side’ is a recipe for becoming a part of the groups crushing minorities, it always has been. Doesn’t matter what the discourse is, if you end up condemning groups fighting for abortion rights or condemning groups fighting to protect trans lives, you’re letting groupthink destroy your sense of morality. Like….that ask opposed letting women (cis and trans) turn down dates they weren’t interested in just because of hypothetical scenarios, and you went along with it because it carefully mostly used the right vocab. It was literally coercive rape rhetoric in the guise of empathetic political correctness and it didn’t set off immediate red flags? Only the possibility that it was intended maliciously did? We know for a fact men’s rights activists off 4chan are taking every opportunity to destroy progressive politics using its own language. You’ve got to think for your self, or you’ll end up supporting ideological distortions destructive to all human rights.

Yea I completely hear you anon. And I honestly wasn’t trying to punish myself at all or anything, but when I know that I could have caused possible harm I have a habit of over correcting.

I think most of my response to this hasn’t been about the post itself (cus reflecting on the post I know I wasn’t trying to say anything hurtful, but the way you phrase things is important) and it’s more about the fact there were a whole bunch of terfs reblogging it and telling me I was one of them. And as a trans person that’s not a great situation to be in. Ever since then I’ve had several terfs in my asks and dms trying to “sympathize” with me and it’s made me feel all weird and gross.

There’s not much I can do about the post and I know it’s not my fault how terfs twist my words, but there’s still an uneasiness there. With tumblr even when you delete the post, the post is still around, it will continue to be spread by terfs and I’m frustrated that I can’t stop it. I don’t want to hurt my community or make trans women feel uncomfortable, so at the very start of all of it I was just consumed by all this guilt.

But I’ve taken a break from tumblr and marinated on everything and I’m at peace with it now. There’s nothing I can do about the post now, I’ll just keep blocking and deleting any terf that tries to come near me, I won’t stop being trans or supporting my community, so it’s alright.

Like you said, sometimes we can say things that align with ideologies we disagree with, but the important things is that we learn and move forward. I know I’ve learned a lot about sneaky radfem ideology since I was in high school, and I’ll keep learning.

[texanredrose]

Family Business

@antonslavik020 made a suggestion and I did my usual thing and ran with it.

Winter stared at the shop, straightening her tie by rote and watching as the last customer left the waiting area, taking his sweet time clamoring into his vehicle and driving off. The sun had already set and the lights were being shut off, everyone except the head mechanic and her sister having gone home for the day. It would be ideal to corner the woman alone, enough shakedowns had taught Winter that limiting her target's backup always provided results, but it would be hard to separate the siblings without direct intervention. 

"You two stay in the car," she said, popping open her door. "I'll handle this." 

"Winter-" 

"This is my job." She turned to look into the backseat, meeting her sister's gaze evenly. "You run the branch, Blake's your bodyguard, and I'm your enforcer. Ideally, no one will even know your name, much less your face." With a nod to the Faunus behind the wheel, she exited the car. "Go grab something to eat. This'll take an hour at most; meet me at the motel on the corner." 

"Be careful," Blake said, amber eyes darting towards the mechanic shop. "Valens don't intimidate easy." 

"That was before they met me," she replied, settling into a role she'd been trained to embody since birth. She didn't have the enigmatic charm Weiss possessed, the sort of imperiousness that could be endearing, but she did have the kind of set to her jaw and tilt to her shoulders than would make men twice her size back down, an unspoken sort of dangerous intent that even a blind man could see. Without lifting a finger, she could inspire fear, but not loyalty- not the way Weiss could. So, she would not be a leader in that sense, but she would lay the foundation for her sister to build an empire over her own in this country. Whatever it took.

ding 

"Sorry, we're closing up shop for the day!" A cheery voice rang out as the younger mechanic rounded the counter, a smile on her lips that faded as she noticed no cars out in the lot and no recognition sparked by the pristine white suit Winter wore. "I'm, uh, sorry. Is there... something I can help you with, though?" 

"Where's your sister?" The icy edge to her voice made the young woman flinch; between the two, the little sister seemed the least keen to interact with others, always a touch shy unless suitably distracted, rambling on about whatever caught her interest. "She's closing up." And then she seemed to steel her nerves, a frown coming to her lips. "I'm sorry, Ma'am, but you'll have to come back tomorrow." 

"Hey, Rubes, what's the-" Then the elder sibling appeared, jumpsuit stained with oil and who knew what else, grease smudged on her cheeks as lilac eyes fell on the newcomer. "Hold up... I'm sorry, Ma'am, but we're closed." 

"Yang Xiao Long." Winter clasped her hands behind her back. "I'm here regarding a business proposal from my employer." 

"Look, if you're part of that chain trying to buy us out-" 

"I assure you, I'm not some corporate lackey." Her eyes narrowed. "And you have much worse than being bought out to consider as a potential future." 

They held each others gaze, silence stretching thin in the shop's little waiting area. 

"Ruby, go home," Yang said, a note of urgency in her tone.

"But-" 

"Go on." The blonde nodded towards the door. "I'll take care of this."

Although reluctant, the younger of the two complied, grabbing the hooded cape she wore everywhere but at work and throwing it around her shoulders, the door bell ringing out as she exited the shop. 

"Smart move." 

"Shut up." Moving around the counter, Yang went and locked the door, closing the blinds along the way. "I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer but I'm not deaf. I've been hearing all the little whispers about a bid bad mafia family moving into town." 

"Then you're well aware of the wonderful opportunities I can offer you. On behalf of-" 

"Shove it." Now more or less in privacy, the mechanic turned back towards her, brows drawing together as she scowled. "I'm not rolling over, shilling out protection money to a bunch of crooks." She reached up, pulling apart the top portion of the jump suit to reveal a threadbare yellow tank top beneath, chiseled muscles of her arms on display as the sleeves were tied around her waist. Her core- just as defined- became visible with every breath, the tight material stretched to its limit as she settled into a fighting stance, both fists raised. "I don't know how many of you there are, but I know how many I'm gonna take down. All of you." 

"I'm not here to start a fist fight. You're an investment-" 

"Like Hell I am!" Anger and pride ignited in her lilac eyes, making them dance. "This is my terf, not yours. I'm not some cash cow for you to milk." 

"You're insisting on doing this the hard way, is that it?" Her expression didn't break, even with the little lilt in her voice. "You're willing to start a fight with me... with the hope that your sister will be waiting for you at home, safe and sound, when you're done."

Panic flashed in the blonde's expression, all her bravado thrown aside as real fear crept into her voice. "You wouldn't- she's my little sister, you wouldn't." And then the anger came back. "Don't hurt her!" 

Winter had done far too many intimidating shakedowns to count but this marked the first time she heard those words, and the first time she was snapped away from the present to relive a memory she'd thought she'd buried. Her entire life revolved around fear, intimidation, and manipulation- it would surprise no one that it extended to her home life as well. But she remembered, clear as crystal, the day their father gave Weiss her scar, the day she tried to be a real big sister and protect her... and she remembered saying those words just before she learned the hard way that doing the right thing meant paying a very steep price. 

"She won't come to any harm," she said, the words leaving her lips before she had a chance to process them, and she had to bite back a curse as she effectively dug a hole for herself. Too much emotion had slipped out- the words sounded honest and genuine and she meant them, and Yang didn't miss that fact. "If you cooperate." 

But it was too late. She'd shown too much of her hand and now the mechanic felt emboldened. "Oh, so somewhere in there lurks a real person, huh? You got a conscience under all that blood on your hands?" 

"I do exactly what you're doing now- I protect my family." 

"Bunch of criminals make for a lousy family." 

"So you weren't born to a mechanic?" She took a few steps away, shifting her attention to a picture on the wall- a father, and two smiling daughters, in front of the very same shop. "You came to this life of your own volition?"

"It's not the same-"

"Yes, Yang, it is." Winter looked back at her, trying to recapture the intimidation she'd had before, inspire the same fear. "This is the life I was born to live. I'm an enforcer- I work for my family to protect their interests. Become one of those interests, and I'll protect you, too." 

"What kind of family requires a weekly joining fee, huh?" Yang jabbed a finger at her. "Don't sell this as something it's not. You'd rather bleed us dry than get your own hands dirty." 

"Oh, I'll beat you bloody, if that's what you'd prefer." She brought her hands around to the front, made a show of cracking her knuckles. "Getting my hands dirty is my job. And the fee is just... upkeep." 

"Upkeep?" 

"Keeps police and inspectors away, encourages business- everyone who joins the family helps each other out. That's how it works." 

"And anyone who wants to move away gets erased from the records, permanently," Yang said, settling back into her stance once more. "I'm not that dumb." 

As much as she didn't want to admit it, she could admire the fire she saw shining in the woman's eyes. The courage, the drive- how could she not? But she had a job to do. 

"We're looking to build a... different sort of family here." She settled into a stance of her own. "We'd much rather handle things amicably." 

"What part of extortion is amicable, exactly?" 

"Do you know how they do things in Atlas?" Winter began to circle, keeping herself loose and watching for an opening. "First, they pick a place they like. Then, things start to go wrong there- all sorts of things. Slashed tires, broken windows, mysterious fires- enough to put a place out of business. And then someone shows up, and it all goes away... for a price." She offered a small shrug, as if the whole thing bored her. "I always thought it a bit extreme." 

"Oh, so this is the kinder, gentler mafia?"

"If you'd rather, we can go things the old school way." 

"How about this?" Yang shot forward, throwing a punch that moved as fast as lightning, and if she hadn't been anticipating such, she would've been laid out in one hit. However, Winter didn't expect the second strike- didn't think the woman could move quite that fast consistently considering her solid build, but she managed to block or dodge effectively. She'd been in too many fights by this point to be taken entirely off guard, and despite the elbow to her gut, she managed to sweep Yang's legs from beneath her. With the blonde landing solidly on her back, winded, Winter quickly put her forearm across the woman's neck. That should have been the end of the fight. Most people would stop there, because what was keeping Winter from killing her? But Yang saw the restraint and exploited it, used her superior strength to roll both of them over until she found herself trapped beneath the mechanic, arms pinned to the sides of her head. "No one's coming in to save you, huh?" Lilac eyes narrowed, anger still in her voice. "If one hair on Ruby's head-" 

"There's no one else," she said, struggling and failing to dislodge the woman atop her. "I came alone. I told you; we do things differently." 

"Why? Why did you come to Vale?"

Winter remained silent for a moment but caught in that lilac gaze... the truth poured from her lips. "We can't change Atlas. We can't save it. But if we set up a foothold here, we can stop it from happening again." 

"You didn't like the way your bosses did business, so you decided to come do it yourself?" The woman rolled her eyes with a sour frown. "How enterprising of you." 

"It's not that simple." 

"Than simplify it." The grip on her wrists tightened. "Or else."

"Or else what?" Winter raised a brow. "For all your disdain of criminals, you'll become one yourself and kill me?" 

"It's self defense." 

"Of course it is." She sighed, irritation plain in her voice. "It's almost like I ensured you'd have that excuse." 

"... what do you mean by that?" 

"If I'd come in broad daylight, spoke softly, let your anger be seen by others, would you have the same defense? Would anyone believe your word over mine?" Winter glanced down at her suit. "As far as the public's concerned, I'm the daughter of a businessman. And you're a mechanic who got mad at a customer- you do realize this could've gone very wrong for you, yes?" She tilted her head. "But now-" 

"Now I could just dump you outside and call the cops in the morning. Act like I didn't know a thing- you just got mugged and left on my doorstep." Her grip relaxed a little. "You're really banking on me not killing you, huh?" 

"I'm betting on you having a better conscience. You'd be surprised how few morals are instilled in children who grow up as part of the family." 

Slowly, Yang's grip relaxed even more as her expression smoothed out. "You don't mean you were just the kid of some low level thug. You were up there." 

"My father is the boss in Atlas. He took my grandfather's idea of building an alliance between businesses and perverted it into what you hold such a great disdain for," Winter said, weighing her options. She might regain the upper hand, regain her feet, but she couldn't beat the mechanic in a fair fight. And she'd really rather not shoot the woman. "My sister and I came to Vale because we know this is where he's coming next. If we can build up before he gets here, we can stop Vale from becoming another Atlas." 

Slowly, the pressure on her wrists disappeared entirely, though she couldn't quite get up yet with Yang hovering over her, lilac eyes searching her expression. "Lord help me, but I think I believe you." She sighed. "What would joining your family mean for me and mine?"

"We need a place to start laundering money. An honest business- you keep doing what you're doing and we'll just be using your books on occasion."

"And what's the price?" 

"You're one of our first partners." This part Weiss had explicitly ordered her to abide, despite her arguments that it would set a bad precedent. Still, she had to obey if they were going to get anywhere in Vale. "You can name your price." 

Yang seemed to mull the thought over before nodding. "Fine." And then she reached for Winter's tie, yanking on it to pull her up and into a kiss. Not rough or hard, not even that long, and it left her blinking in surprise and confusion as the mechanic pulled back. "There. Am I paid up for the week?" 

In that moment, she should've got angry. Should've lectured that this wasn't a game, that she should be taking this seriously. Should've demanded a real answer. Instead, she replied. "... no." 

One hand buried in greasy blonde locks, and she smelled of oil and sweat, but at that moment, Winter didn't rightly care. What they were trying to do was insane, she'd accepted that, but she'd yet to fall victim to the madness herself. Apparently, it would find her anyway, in her sister's insistence that they could beat their father at the game he created, in this mechanic willing to fight to protect her shop, and now in herself for wanting nothing more than those hands on her again, this time with less of an intention to bruise and more to soothe. 

Maybe madness was the only way to make sense of the world.

An hour later, Winter watched as Blake pulled up, getting into the passenger seat without a word and merely nodding for the Faunus to continue driving. "It's done; the mechanic agreed to be a front." 

"Winter, what happened? You look like you fought a grizzly bear." 

She winced, hoping that the details would be left well enough alone. "Nothing of import. Intimidation didn't work, so I had to use other means." Eventually, she sighed, passing a hand over her face. "And... the mechanic agreed to put us in touch with more places that might be open to an arrangement." 

"That wasn't part of the plan." Blake noted, those keen amber eyes drifting her way and staying for just a second too long. "Did you two decide that before or after the hickey?" 

"Hickey- Winter." Her sister leaned forward, noting that her disheveled state wasn't the byproduct of a fight, at least not entirely. "What happened?" 

"I let her name her price," she replied, reaching up to straighten her tie before remembering that she didn't have it anymore. "In hindsight, I should've taken into account that she's... very..." 

"Attractive?" The Faunus offered, that little curl to her lips indicating amusement. "Would explain why you insisted on handling it alone." 

"Don't you start-" 

"Both of you, stop it." Weiss pinched the bridge of her nose. "I can't believe this. But... she is on our side?" At her nod, the woman sat back and sighed. "I suppose that's what really matters. But be careful, Winter. You know this could be used against you." 

From the corner of her eye, she saw the way Blake's ears flicked and the pensive expression on her face. Winter felt tempted to call her sister out on being a bit hypocritical, but opted against it. After all, they'd gotten this far on madness; no sense in trying to apply logic now.

Meanwhile, at a little house just down the road from the mechanic shop, Yang stumbled through the door and plopped down on the couch, putting her face in her hands and sighing heavily. Already she could hear her sister coming down the hall, hurrying to the living room with relief evident in her voice. 

"Oh, Yang, I'm so glad you made it home, I-" And then she stopped dead in the entryway. "Yang... why are you covered in scratch marks? And bite marks? And... is that that woman's tie?" A beat of silence. "What the hell happened?" 

"Well... either the best thing to ever happen to me," she replied, turning slowly to look at her sister. "Or the biggest mistake. Jury's still out on that." 

And she really wasn't sure when she'd find out.

[thewinddrifter]

A realisation about intra-community discourse

I’ve decided to move away from activley engaging in discourse, specifically ace discourse on tumblr, because at this point there is nothing positive to gain from it whatsoever.

Whatever i could’ve learned from it, about the intra community issues, issues of identity, i’ve learned and made my own stances on the subject clear. 

The ‘discourse’ is at this point, an ironic label, something i feel all are aware of already. It is merely two sides who have entrenched, dug deeply and are content with slinging shit at one another to earn notches on their rifles, with no actual gain to be made. It’s a pissing match to tear down as many people as you can, and it’s activley made spaces on tumblr even more unsafe and malicious than they were before

And this made me ponder about intra community issues in general and they all seem to follow the same pattern. 

It’s always the case of group of people who distinctly do not consider a different group to be authentic or valid or that they belong within the community for one reason or another. This doesn’t really result in any discourse whatsoever because NO one is interested in anything being talked or discussed about.

Exclusionary types aren’t interested in discourse because they don’t think there’s anything to discuss or they flat out don’t believe that the people they exclude have any say in this because they’re outsiders who are threatening them. 

The targeted group doesn’t want to talk about anything because they feel like their identities are under attack by people who aren’t interested in hearing them out. EDIT: I feel like i should've mentioned that i don't think aces or any group targeted by exclusionary tactics, owed anyone the time of day, or that any targeted group needs to 'discuss' anything with anyone, i just noticed how these things tend to fit this one pattern. I personally feel all the targeted groups don't owe exclusionary types (TERFs, biphobes, truscum, what have you) anything.

Looking at ace ‘discourse’, this was honestly the first sign it was going to go the same way, because it always does, it fits the pattern very well. 

The second thing that made me realise this was going to turn into something ugly is when people started making callout posts left and right and holding everyone accountable for people they don’t even know or interact with.

I’m not against the idea of policing communities and holding people accountable for knowingly enabling and supporting outright harmful people they personally know and choose to hang out. I’ve taken to blocking people who i’ve seen hold harmful beliefs. 

I do however feel it’s a bit silly to hold people accountable for shit they didn’t even know was going on. Because, with rare exceptions, there aren’t clearly defined lines or sides in this, which is why you get such an eclectic and diverse mix of peoples chiming in. They only agree on one stance out of maybe a thousand. You get people rubbing shoulders, not knowing that in any other case they may be at each others throats.

In any case i do not think that this ‘discourse’ has really accomplished anything. Individual LGBT/queer communities and organisations are still going to be inclusive towards aces because the reach of this bullshit is hopefully, rather small, and confined to tumblr. 

What it has accomplished for me personally is to feel utterly unsafe about the potential company i keep and what they may turn out to be or what they may end up saying. I’ve managed to make up a very small group of people that i think i can trust and that’s really enough for me.

If exclusionists were aiming to make our ‘community’ safe well uh... no dice.

There is no point in engaging in this discourse. It is utterly unsafe and pointless for everyone involved and it solves nothingAt this point it is far safer to simply make our own politicis clear and precise, so that we can stand on our own.