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#and I'm trying i swear to god I'm trying but i feel so useless
asiananeurysm · 7 months
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dysfunctionaldogdude · 2 months
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I feel like actually shit like the entirety of last week getting to me. I wish I could have a moment of actual relaxation and not just me forgetting I have shit to do.
(Tag warning-> depressing talk, dark topics)
Might delete this idk..
#vent post#tag rambles#I have over 60 different things to fill out that I need to do by tomorrow and I forgot to do them. I feel so stupid#I actually hate having adhd#people try to make it out to be just a quirky thing that its not that big of a deal or anything#but it's not#it impairs on relationships#I struggle to remember important things that I need to do and even WANT to do. I struggle so bad#I even have fights with people about me being a “liar” even though I'm not#I just have a shit ass memory I feel useless 90% of the time and shit#gods and I doubt it's just me having adhd. Im pretty sure its my possibility of having bpd and autism#i show all symptoms of bpd and I relate far too much with autism videos#like this is stuff active in my daily life#people don't see it often due to have carefully Ive crafted.. this is going to sound a bit fannibal of me but literally a person suit#i swear a person suit#it's not even funny#gods i just wish I could function without getting all up and arms about how much of a pos I feel#if I don't get attention from.. basically.. my fp I get all sad and melancholy. i spiral#I'm pretty sure I have at least three fps#if I even have bpd#but gods#just so stupid how I can barely fucking function without all of these crutches#I'm not in a certian program anymore for a thing and now I can't fuction and work how I use to since it was a slower environment#I'm failing#like I won't be able to make it I feel like#not suicide or anything#just in things I wanted to do#feels like my future is doomed cause life keeps throwing curve balls at me#someone with at least two mental disabilities#i definitely have more
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kookslastbutton · 11 months
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Baby Maker ༓ kth (m)
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✑ Summary: You're pissed at your husband for being late to your weekly baby-making sessions.
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Pairing: husband!taehyung x fem!reader
AU/genre: pwp, fluff, smut, marriage au
Rating: M, 18+
Word Count: 2,473
Warnings: light fighting, hard dom!taehyung, slight brat sub!reader, make up s*x, rough s*x, manhandling, bl*wjob, teasing, b**b groping, degradation (taehyung calls reader a sl*t), impreg k*nk, f*replay, penetration, r*ding, d*ggy, d*rty talk, d*ck slapping, taehyung refers to himself as daddy, mention of aftercare, trouble taking off lingerie bc yeah it be a whole process sometimes.
A/N: seeing Taehyung on esquire...you cannot tell me he doesn't look good omg 🙈 anyway this is filthy sooo I'm going to rock myself to sleep now bc i work on the moring, pls enjoy 💞
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"Sweetheart, I didn't mean to be late. I'm sorry."
Taehyung stands in front of you with pleading eyes. He tries not to drop his gaze below your neck, seeing that you're more than pissed at him for getting home nearly an hour later than planned. He feels bad about it, he really does. But he can also easily see his favorite fiery red lingerie peeking out of your silky robe, making him all the more eager to show you how he can make it up to you.
"Well that's too bad Taehyung because I'm not in the mood anymore." You tighten your arms across your chest and stand your ground. If your husband didn't look like sex on legs all the time this would be a lot easier nevertheless, he will not be getting his dick sucked tonight.
"Are you kidding?" He gives you a 'really' look before reaching for one of your wrists. "You're always in the mood for baby making. Been in the mood for months. Come on sweetheart, how many times do I need to tell you I'm sorry? Let me make it up to you."
"No." You swiftly pull away from him. "I'm showering and then going to bed." You head over to your dresser to grab a pair of pajamas to change into. Are you being petty? Maybe. But you and Taehyung have been trying for a baby over the past two weeks. So him being late tonight just feels like he isn't taking any of it seriously.
"Don't even think about trying to come in here," you spit, moving to close the door of the master bathroom. Taehyung gives a small sigh before stopping the door with his hands. Your eyes avert to the motion immediately—damn his fingers for being so long and sleek.
"Baby I know I shouldn't have been late, and I know you're horny but aren't we being the tiniest bit stubborn here?"
"What the hell did you say?" You can't believe your ears. "You think this is me just being stubborn and horny? No, this is me-, you pause, scrambling for words. "I'm punishing you!" You point at him accusingly.
"Punishing me by withholding sex? From being an hour late tonight? I get it baby, I do but is that what you really want? To take a shower, then go to sleep." He pushes his way through the door and walks up to you until he's towering over you. His warm blonde locks drape over his eyes— you know how soft they feel in your hands. "Or," his deep honeyed voice teases near your ear as he tugs on one of your robe's straps. "Do you want to take off this useless piece of material and I'll show you how sorry I am?" He sets his hands on your hips, tracing down the fabric of your robe. "I'll let you ride me," he husks.
You bite the inside of your cheek, desperately trying to keep yourself from throwing yourself at him. It's not every night that you're allowed to top with a husband as alpha as Taehyung in the bed. And the way his hands are moving so sensually up and down your sides is making you shudder with arousal.
"Fuck you. Fuck you to the moon and back Taehyung."
"Great, let's start that tonight." Taehyung takes it as a go and you pound on his back with your fists when you feel your whole body being slung over his shoulder. He plops you on the bed within seconds and crawls up to you in a straddling position—thighs on either side of your waist. "I swear to god __, our baby better not inherent this stubborn streak of yours." He starts untying the knot of your robe and prys the material open to slip down your shoulders.
"What baby?" You sit up a little to let him remove it. "The only baby you seem to be making is with Park Jimin. You were at his house all day. Or was it Jungkook? Did you have a threesome with them?"
"For fucksake, no I wasn't having a threesome with those idiots who can't even get their dicks out of their pants." He tosses the robe to the side, cock swelling at the sight of you underneath him in lacey red lingerie and black lace garters—this he did not see before. "And I'm not into Jimin, he's too into his porno films. Now enough whining. I said I was sorry."
"You were watching porn with Jimin?!" Your eyes go large as saucers. Apparently, that's all you heard. Taehyung lets out a throaty growl, more than fed up with your attitude tonight.
"No I wasn't! Stop it. I wasn't fucking or watching people fuck." He holds your wrists down on the mattress to keep you from moving about. "You get so goddamn needy. I didn't realize you could get this horny."
"I told you its not about—"
"Shut up and let me kiss you." Taehyung presses his mouth against yours, biting your lower lip like a sin. You squirm underneath his hold but end up moaning when he slips his tongue into the small crease between your lips.
"Taehyung," you let out a breathy gasp when you feel his fully hardened cock brush against your center. Not much else gets to come out after that as Taehyung continues to lick every corner of your mouth, toying with your tongue at the same time.
It's when he finally breaks from your lips to trace wet kisses along the curve of your neck that you can catch your breath again. His firm hold on your wrists also loosen, but you know exactly where they're moving next.
"Did you really expect me to believe you'd put on my favorite lingerie with these godforsaken garters only to not have your brains completely fucked tonight?" He squeezes your breasts and rolls his thumbs around your nipples, feeling them harden with the friction.
You choose to remain silent this time, slightest smirk on your face which no doubt irritates your husband to no end.
"Don't want to say anything anymore Mrs. Kim?" He fiddles with the front of your bra, specifically the tiny hook that's holding the cups together. "Nothing at all? Just gonna lay there and stare at me with those beautiful lusty eyes?"
"You know I was feeling really guilty earlier," Taehyung rasps, leaning back to throw his shirt over his head. "I was afraid you were actually mad at me and at first I think you were. But..." He reaches to unbuckle his belt. "Now you're just acting like a brat to tick me off."
You bite down a whimper when his cock bounces free, practically throbbing to be inside something. You've taken Taehyung many times with tears streaming down your face, each round reminding you of his massive size.
"Fuck," he groans as he takes himself in his palm. "If you want to be treated like a brat so much then it's your lucky day." He straddles your sides again, the head of his cock falling proudly in front of your lips. "Open," he demands, but you bite your lip; feigning innocence.
Your husband is not impressed, however. "Quit acting like you've never seen cock before," he barks. "You're the furthest thing from a virgin so open up."
Rude, you think before slowly sticking your tongue out until it touches the slit of his cock. You know it'll piss him off but you decide it's fun to keep swirling around the sensitive area, collecting the pre-cum dripping out.
"Shit, don't." Your husband groans and screws his eyes shut to keep himself from coming early.
You should take this as a warning but you're far too pleased of yourself so you continue teasing him, making sure a few purposeful moans slip out as you lick around his tan tip.
"Fuck I'm gonna blow my load in ten seconds if you don't stop. Baby, stop."
You ignore your husband's pleas and wrap your lips around the head of his length, sucking it with determination. As if to counter the filthy action you sparkle your eyes up into his dark ones. You make them as big as you can. Anytime now and he'll-
"I said stop you fucking slut!" The words are barked at you without warning. Taehyung takes his cock from you and slaps it across your cheek. A very sticky substance smears on your face. "Now, get my dick wet or nothing's going into that slutty little cunt."
You widen your mouth to take him deeper at his threat but it's too slow—or Taehyung's too impatient. Either way, his thick length shoves to the back of your throat and starts running in and out of your mouth with a vengeance. You choke at the intensity of each thrust, vision blurring due to the tears building.
"Is it too much sweetheart?' He provokes, beads of sweat line his forehead and a vein threatens to pop from his neck any second. "Too big for your pretty mouth to handle?"
You feel yourself clench as the heavy weight of his length glides faster on your tongue. The anticipation of his release is killing you and though you can't speak, right now, you want your husband to make you look like such a messy whore that his come fills your mouth and spills down your tits. Then you want him to flip you over, prop your ass up, and fuck you until burning hot sensation courses through your body.
While in thought, Taehyung takes the opportunity to slip himself out of your mouth. A string of spit can't help but follow with it.
"But—"
"It's plenty wet now," Taehyung smirks at your obvious distress. He moves to take your panties and garter off next. "Fuck," he swears in frustration. "How do you get this off dammit?" You help him wiggle yourself out of the contraption (which ends up taking a good five or six minutes).
As soon as the lace fabric is discarded, you find yourself quickly being lifted on his hardened member. Taehyung makes sure you're well-supported before roughly thrusting up into your wet cunt. Your breasts bounce to the rhythm he sets, tempting him to go faster.
"I promised I'd let you ride me didn't I?"
"Not—what I—had in mind," you pant. "Fuck, Taehyung you're always so fucking big—ah!" You grip his shoulders when his cock perfectly hits your g-spot.
"Good to see you've found your voice again baby. I was beginning to think you were going to give me the silent treatment this whole night."
"Shut—ah shit—yes, Taehyung, right there! Faster, fuck!" You moan, too caught up in the way his cock is making you feel to care about talking back.
"What a filthy mouth on you Mrs. Kim. No one taught you any manners?" He darts his tongue out to gently graze across a nipple. At the action, you start moving with his thrusts; meeting them in sync.
"So good Taehyung." Your eyes flutter shut. "If this doesn't get me pregnant then—"
You squeal when you're suddenly thrown off his cock and turned on your stomach. With your ass positioned nice and high in the air, your husband can see every trace of your arousal.
"Don't worry about that sweetheart." His cock pushes back into your pussy, teeth nipping at your ear ever so gently but enough to send a shiver down your spine. "Daddy's definitely gonna make you a mommy tonight."
Taehyung caves over you to fully cover your back before picking up the same pace as before. "You want my cum baby?" He grunts. "Want me to fill you up and make you round with my child?"
"Yes-yes." You grip the sheets underneath you for leverage. "Want you to put a baby in me Taehyung."
"Fuck—say that again." He growls and continues snapping his hips. The sound of skin slapping on skin is so lewd but you and Taehyung can't be bothered by the noise when you're breathing so heavily in each other's ear.
"I want you to put a baby in me Tae."
"Louder."
"I want—," you struggle to repeat the words when you feel your walls tighten around his length. Your stomach churns too and the way his cock fucks in you gets seemingly harder to take.
"Close baby?"
"Mm." You barely respond, too focused on getting to your high.
"And to think you were simply going to shower and sleep tonight." He circles back to your earlier argument with the cockiest smirk on his face but it's wiped off as quick as it came when you start grinding your hips to meet his thrusts.
"That's it," Taehyung clenches his teeth. "Get yourself off—holy fuck you feel so goddamn tight around me."
"I'm—I'm coming!" Once the cord snaps in you, your eyes roll to the back of your head. Ropes of your cum drip over your husband's length, covering it completely, and down part of your inner thigh. Taehyung's cock twitches in response and his breaths turn into aggressive pants as he starts chasing after his own release.
"Shit baby, shit! I'm so fucking close. Gonna breed this pussy, tell me you want it one more time baby."
"Mm, yes, want it so bad," you let out a strained moan. "Come in me—ah daddy!" His length reaches a little further this time, making you yelp.
"Shit, you okay baby?"
"Yes, I'm fine. Keep moving. It just surprised me."
"If I go too hard, tell me okay?" You respond with the loudest 'mhm' you can.
After a few more broken groans and profanities your husband finally finishes with his cum painting your walls less than thirty seconds later.
A long sigh of relief leaves both your lips when you roll over on your backs—sweaty, sore, and satisfied.
"Wasn't expecting you to call me daddy in bed." Taehyung lazily hovers near your body and presses a kiss to your lips. You allow his tongue to slip in for a minute before shoving him off.
"Don't get used to it, mister. And don't ever slap me with your dick again. I'm all sticky."
"I'm sorry, do you want me to draw you a bath?"
"You best believe I do."
"Yes ma'am." Taehyung goes to get up but he falls back down. "Can you give me like ten minutes first? We went a little hard tonight, I can't really feel my dick."
"You sure about that?" You reach over to gently grip his length.
"Shit—hurts baby."
"Sorry." You grin, not sorry at all. "I'm sure it'll be fine in the morning."
Taehyung looks at you with a twinkle in his eyes. "Are you kidding? It'll be fine by the time I get you in the bath."
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A/n: ...goodnight 😇
Masterlist
no reposting, copying, or translating my work– © kookslastbutton
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somerandomdudelmao · 7 months
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CASS! YOUR BRAIN! IT'S SO... HUGE!!!!Okay, okay. So, to recap what you have confirmed to us-
The robot that we see is NOT controlled by Donnie's spirit. We see that Donnie is able to control it via headset, etc.
Also, the reason this "Plan B" did NOT work is because Casey got possessed by Don's Hamato spirit in a memory from the future on accident.
It was going to work. He was literally mid-crawl before Casey swooped in and tried to help him but ended up somehow bringing his spirit into the past and cloning him a new body with plot serum.
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We don't know if this robot would have worked. We don't know if Donnie even had enough equipment to make a robot body like the one he made for Raph. Maybe it would have failed. Maybe everything would've been okay. I just don't know.
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But that's the beauty of this series. You planned this since you first decided how Donnie was going to die. Yes, you've said that you're kind of as clueless as we are at times when it comes to "what's next." But the amount of detail you put into this is ASTOUNDING!
Even with your VERY FIRST COMIC, you used Don's failed experiment with Leo and turned it into another chapter where we found out that Donnie was trying to find a cure for Mikey's peepawed body!!!
The fact that Donnie not only didn't say anything before he died because you knew that it "wasn't the end for him," but he also had a plan B that he didn't tell anybody about hence the guilty faces, the reasurrences, and ignoring Leo's "we don't need to worry" talks. And he couldn't simply tell them that "everything was gonna be okay" because his plan possibly wouldn't even work!!!
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AND THAT'S WHY HE HAD A BREAKDOWN WHEN HE LOOKED BACK AT ALL THE RECORDINGS OF THE RESISTANCE FAILING BECAUSE NOT ONLY IS HE WATCHING EVERYONE HE TRIED TO PROTECT WITH EVERYTHING HE HAD DIE BEFORE HIS EYES, BUT HE ALSO REALIZED THAT HE FAILED THEM AND LEFT THEM WITH NOTHING!!! HE FEELS SO USELESS AND GUILTY FOR SOMETHING HE HAD NO CONTROL OVER!!!!
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Even since we first met Raph, we got Don's theory about how storing spirits into mechs worked. He probably used the rest of their most valuable resources to even BUILD that thing.
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I don't know if when they all realize that Casey is actually the reason Mikey couldn't sense any of their spirits because he snatched them up and brought them to the past/different timeline that they're either gonna feel angry or like "Oh!....oh." You know?
It seems to me that they still don't know the answer to that question. With all of them back, I thought they would have by now, but I guess we'll see pretty soon.
A lot of things could happen in this chapter. Good things, bad things, it's quite a toss-up. Let's just hope this whole big misunderstanding comes to a big finish soon. Donnie deserves a comeback. Everyone deserves to have a breather where they can all just...talk. Cause' by GOD there is a lot to talk about. I know they had some downtime before Miwa showed up, but Donnie's still working. If Donnie doesn't finally open up to his family by the end of this, I'm bringing out the beach balls, I swear.
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weneeya · 4 months
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I'm taking full advantage of request box being open 😋
Gojo giving you cold shoulder after you cheated on him in his dream..hes all pouty
a whole betrayal w/ gojo m.list | rules
note. as you should! I'm glad you like my writing enough to ask for requests, thank you sm!!
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Since this morning, your boyfriend, Gojo Satoru, had been giving you a cold shoulder and you couldn’t understand why. You had asked him a few times already but he was ignoring you like you did the worst thing ever to him. He was currently sitting on the couch, arms crossed and all pouty while you were sitting next to him, trying to get some information from him. 
“Satoru, please. Tell me what I’ve done so I can repay myself!” you were almost begging him on your knees. You hated when he was like this, you felt so useless and powerless. It almost scared you that he was going to leave you. 
“You’re a cheater.” he finally said, turning his head so he could look at you. His gaze was visible from above his glasses, while he was frowning slightly. You looked at him in disbelief, processing what he just said to you. 
“You cheated on me with Kento in my dream last night. I can’t believe you’ve done that to me!” he was being serious right now, and you were sure you couldn’t have heard well. You blinked a few times before your face showed all the incomprehension you were feeling at the moment. 
“What the hell Satoru?! You’re like this because of a dream?!” you were so scared for nothing, even if he seemed to take it very personally. He looked away one more time, all pouty once again. 
“I’m not talking with a cheater.” you sighed, eyes closed. Of course, with someone as dramatic as him, you weren’t going to pass through this so easily. You took a breath, slowly, before looking back at him. You rested your chin on his shoulder, looking at him with puppy eyes. 
“I’m sorry, okay? I swear it, it’s never gonna happen again.” he looked back at you, frowning slightly. He was judging your sincerity and you couldn’t believe it. You were really asking his forgiveness for a dream. You shouldn’t be surprised with him, but his dramatic behavior was always going further. Thank God, you loved him that way. 
“Fine, but you need to cuddle with me for the rest of the day then,” he said, waiting for your answer. He slowly raised an eyebrow before you laughed slightly, shaking your head. He was unbelievable. 
“Seems good to me.” you answered, opening your arms to welcome him. A smile finally appeared on his lips and he quickly came closer to you to hide his face in your neck. He was glad you were able to get through this, and you were hoping that he wouldn't happen too frequently. You hated when you hurt him, even if it was in a dream.
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don't hesitate to request too, with anyone from jujutsu kaisen! or even other stuff :)
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fire-lizard-ro · 6 months
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Woo~ Hope you're ready to read Mr. Sunday taking you…
Up the ass- Psych, mfs-
Bet you didn't expect that one from me, huh? I know I normally don't write bottom character, but... I felt like it? I want to see this man wrecked.
I'm writing for both bottom Sunday and top Sunday on this glorious- checks time moonlit (I haven't checked outside and idk what day it is today) night. A little birdy told me she wanted to see bottom Sunday first. Call yourself out if you wanna. 😂
CW: COCK JUMPSCARE- (jk), anal (I mean- come on you knew this), choking (+a little breath play y'all please be sure to make this distinction when talking about it ijsige-), edging, overstimulation, discussion of safe-wording, dom/sub stuff, mention of subspace, spanking, toys (there's an anal plug and cock ring), degradation (+praise), nipple play, harness???, bondage, collaring, slight public play, some subbing from Sunday and some power bottoming (but we'll be focusing on him subbing- it's only really mentioned), prone bone+cat position(that's what it's called, right???)+mating press, some namecalling (ex: praising - good boy, degrading - slut, etc., etc.), crying during sex (the good kind), marking, begging, dumbification, mention of being ashamed but liking it, belly bulge, slight cumflation/excessive cum, excessive lube, objectification(I think???), talk of his cock being useless (it's sex talk I swear reader doesn't mean it-), ever so slight gaping, cumming dry
Reader gender: Gender neutral, but you can envision what you want. Reader has a dick/strap and the cum can be uhhh- Lube? Is that what people put in squirting straps-
If I forgot to add anything to the CW or made any typos- Whoops. You can let me know if you wanna~
Personally, I think Sunday would be a switch. How he leans is up to you. But when he's topping, I see him being more prone to domming. Opposite can be said of when he's bottoming. More likely to sub, but does have his moments when he wants to take control again.
While I do love a good "turnabout is fair play", I think that considering Sunday's need to be in control (…the leaks told me so-), he needs a clean cut decision on what you'd be doing that night. If you've decided together that he'd be topping and domming, don't try to take over please- It'd probably fray his nerves and make him upset. This is because for him, I imagine that he'd need to mentally prepare himself and get in the mindset to sub. He loves giving up the control he holds onto so tightly, but he needs to remind himself that it's okay. That he can trust you and that you'll make him feel so, so good for his concession.
But by god is he a vision when he does slip into that submissive mindset.
It'd start with you two showering together after a long day of Sunday upholding the harmony of Penacony and dealing with any issues that arose to threaten that peace. It's both a way to wind down and to ease him into letting you take care of him and allowing him to slowly loosen his grasp on his control.
Soft touches and soothing words whispered in his ears between the sounds of water with gentle hands petting his wings has him melting into you. The stiff set of his shoulders, imperceptible to all but you, relaxes and the tension drains from his body along with the water as it swirls down the drain.
It is also now that you take out the plug he'd been wearing today while he was away from home. The night before, he'd just finished with you when you two took to the shower and you helped him clean up before stretching his pretty hole with lubed, insistent but gentle fingers. The plug went in nicely after that, the little jeweled heart of the plug's flared base in your color marking him as yours.
He hides behind his wings as you pull at the plug, the toy tugging at his rim that you trace with a playful finger. But of course you nose at them until he lets you in to kiss him soothingly, his wings then pressed to your cheeks to hide you both from the spray of the shower head and the rest of the world. It's just you two here and now. He would gasp a little as the plug slid out to the widest part of the toy. Thin and perfectly groomed eyebrows would furrow while you play with him a little. Push it back in carefully before slowly pulling it back to the wide part again a few times before finally bringing it out fully, rewarding him with "good boy" and "thank you for indulging me" and more kisses.
Once you both are finally in bed, that's when the fun begins.
You both go over the rules again. What to do if he ever wants to stop, reminding him that ultimately he is still in control because he controls if they stop or not. He's the efficient and straightforward type. Traffic light system along with three firm taps if he couldn't talk was enough for him. (Let it be known that when you started dating him, he was not at all aware of these things. I think he'd have been inexperienced to sex beyond vanilla beforehand.)
Tonight, you two were going to use a lot of implements (?). You laid them out, making sure that they were the same as the ones you discussed using prior (yes I think Sunday needs for you two to explicitly discuss beforehand and honestly I agree with him unless you like spontaneity) and going over what you'd do with them to recheck with him that he was okay with it. Consent is sexy, folks.
You then kiss him while fixing the collar on him, checking that it wasn't too tight. He liked using a collar when subbing because it helped him reach subspace and was something the two of you trained him to relax more with when subbing. Helps calm his constantly racing thoughts. The next step is the harness. It's a pretty pale blue-grey that matches his soft hair and is worn with his legs through it and over his hips. They're there for easier handling on your part. The fact that they accentuate his soft, shapely ass and strong thighs is a very welcome bonus. When you put it on for him, please make sure to kiss up his legs all the way to his hipbones while you pull up the harness you helped him step into. Nibble on said hipbones a bit and kiss his navel, near dangerously close to his neglected cock that twitched cutely at your proximity to it. Once that's done you can lube up his hard-on with one cursory tug in order to slip on the cock ring. He won't be getting any more than that for most of the night.
You then have him on him hands and knees so you can get him in position and bind him. Tonight would be a simple set of padded cuffs. You would push between his shoulder blades to guide him to press his chest to the bed, leaning down to kiss down his spine while pulling his hands gently pull his hands behind his back to put the cuffs on. Be sure to praise him for being a good boy, for doing so well for you as you prepared him for the night.
Once that's done, press one more kiss to his body. This time on the top curve of his soft ass before lubing him up some more. It's never bad to be safe about things and there's more than enough chance that he needs more as it dried throughout the day.
Tease him by purposefully tapping on his prostate softly while making sure he's stretched enough and wet with lube coating his inner walls that clenched around your skilled fingers.
Keep going until he finally asks you in a small voice to get on with it. "Hm? What was that?" "You heard me-" "Only good boys get what they want and good boys ask for what they want." You aren't going to make him beg for it (yet), but you'll still make him ask for it like the good, polite boy you know he is.
(Okay we're switching styles here, folks.)
"F-fine… Please fuck me," Sunday said, words trailing of into a mumble. You knew what he was saying, but you didn't really hear it. "What was that? Couldn't hear you, baby." "I-" he angled his head to glare back at you with traces of a pout tugging at his lips. He then turned again to avoid your eyes that took in his face, pressed to the bed and needy. "…please fuck me." "Was that so hard, pretty boy? Since you asked…" You slipped your fingers out slow, letting him feel the drag of them against his sensitive walls as he gave a shuddering sigh. Sunday had attempted to keep it under wraps, but it still slipped out.
Your chuckle caused him to flush more, a wing attempting to hide his face despite you being unable to see it from this spot behind him.
As you slicked up your cock, you watched his hole twitch and cock sway as he unconsciously sunk his hips back more as if to ask you for your thick length in his hungry, empty hole. "Aeons you have the prettiest ass, you know that?" You then finally line yourself up, the head of your dick pressing to the still tight but prepped hole's rim as you slide your hands down the man's sides to grasp his hips before sliding fingers into the straps of the harness that cradled his slim hips.
The angelic man beneath you held his breath in anticipation for a moment. "Breathe, baby." And then you were pushing in, slowly spearing open that wet warmth. He gasped and jolted, but your hand was quick to hold him down by the back of his neck while the other kept an iron grip on the harness to keep his hips steady. A whine escaped Sunday as he attempted to close his legs at the delicious sensation of your cock sliding deep into him- Up to the hilt. Once you bottomed out, he was already panting like he was in heat and his wings that had flared and flexed while you had been pushing inside drooped to rest on the bed.
Your cock was so big- So deep in him he swore he could feel it in the back of his throat, his own cock drooling messily onto previously clean sheets where it hung between his legs. It throbbed as he finally had a clear enough mind to remember the cock ring you'd fastened onto his needy dick. "Such a good slut for me, taking everything." He felt a bold of shame, yet it made his cheeks redden with more than shame. Arousal. As he felt mixed feelings of pleasure and shame swirling in his gut, he also then felt something else in there- Your cock grinding heavily, steadily into him with hips rubbing against his plush ass.
Sunday allowed himself to lean into the pleasure you provided, hips moving back into your slow but strong humps forward. Your cock was sliding over his prostate so nicely and it had him closing his eyes to focus in on it. The arch of his back deepened, emphasizing the lean musculature of his back and bringing out the little dimples above his ass as you leaned forward to put more your weight into your grinding. The pressure inside him and on his neck had his eyes fluttering along with his wings. A moan startled out of him when you proceeded to nibble on said wings, teeth gently nibbling along the fragile bone in the first bend of the feathery appendage. Your hand moved from its spot holding the back of Sunday's neck to press him face first into the bedding moved to instead wrap around his throat, turning him towards you so you could steal a sloppy kiss from him. It was filthy and wet, the sounds of it joining the wet squelch and the slight sound of skin on skin as you began to thrust. His whine was swallowed up by your mouth and when you pulled back he looked a bit dazed, uncomprehending eyes looking at the string of saliva between your lips and his that was promptly licked away by your sinful tongue.
"So good- Such a good boy, yeah? You're all mine aren't you?" He was deep enough in that he just nodded at he tried to rearrange his thoughts. That idea was de-railed when you thrust hard and spanked his ass with the hand not holding his throat, grip tightening enough to make him a bit lightheaded. "Words, harlot. Tell me how you're mine- How good I make you feel." The name made him feel deliciously ashamed of how he was really letting someone push him down and fuck him like a whore. But aeons did he love it. He managed to get out in between panting breaths a, "So good so good please- 'M all yours-" "That's a good cockslut. But just for me right?" "Just for you-"
You rewarded him by speeding up your thrusts, slowly ramping up how hard you fucked into his clenching heat that pushed out lube with every push in- You had made sure to use a lot so he would have to hear the obscene sound of your fucking him and dominating him. His moans became louder along with it, a whimper escaping him when your thrusts forced his hips to the bed. His once neglected cock now lay trapped between him and then bed as yours wrecked him and claimed him. He began babbling about how it felt, how it was like you were in his belly how it was too much not enough please please- Sunday was begging, now, with his drooling mouth, hole, and cock.
"I didn't know toys were supposed to speak- Especially when not spoken to." Your hand tightened around his neck again, this time pressing so it made it a bit harder for him to breathe. "Shhhh- Just be quiet and take it, pretty baby. I'll make you feel good. Make you forget all those troublesome thoughts. Don't you wanna be my dumb little slut? Only focus on taking my cock?" Yeah… he did. He wanted to let go of all the thoughts making his head hurt and give in, even if just for a little while. You'd taken care of him before. Now wasn't any different.
Even through the grip on his throat, he still let out little "ah- ah- ah-" sounds to the rhythm of your hips slapping into his ass, pushing your cock into his deepest parts. Yet you made it feel so good- It didn't hurt at all. All he could think about was how filthy he was and how pleasurable it was. Sunday must have tried to wheeze something out despite everything because you said, "Yeah? You like being dirty for me? A filthy slut for be behind closed doors while in public you act like such a proper leader? What would your dear people think of you if they knew you got fucked like a used prostitute- a mere toy?" You then let go of his throat to let him speak, the air rushing into his lungs making his head spin. "I- I love it! Love it so much please please lemme cum lemme cum on your cock-!"
Another spank to his ass had his hole tightening around you, a cry being startled out of him and tears beading at his lash line. "Good boy-" You then slowed a bit, causing him to whine despite how he had been held on edge for a while, now. Still wanting the bright hot pleasure despite the agony of being denied his release. "Color, baby?" "Mmmf- Green-" "Good boy-" A kiss was pressed to a wing before you harshly thrusted in and went back to pounding him within an inch of his life. Every thrust forced his body up and down the bed, cock an angry red and leaking profusely. Sunday buried his face into the pillow, tears staining them as they came faster. "Please- Let me cum, please! I'll do anything!" "Anything?"
Maybe that was a mistake.
One that had you yanking your dick out of his hole, the greedy thing clenching around nothing as if missing your cock in it. He whined pitifully, tears staining his face as he sobbed into the bedding. Fuck did he sound good. You uncuffed him to flip him over, tossing the things somewhere to the side of the bed. He was unable to keep up with the sudden changes and before he knew it, you were pressing his thighs to his chest in a mating press, cock sliding up and down his own teasingly. "Such a big cock and yet you don't even know how to use it. It's just a big, dumb, useless thing hanging between your legs. All you need is this slutty hole of yours, right?" Your thumb came down to rub at the slightly gaped hole, smearing the lube even more over his sloppy pucker that twitched at your touch.
He hid his face with his wings, flushed and crying as you belittled his cock. He was only good as an anal slut for you. But his wings flared open as he felt a sharp pain in his shoulder. You had sunk your teeth into the spot in reprimand and to mark your toy as yours. "What did I say about that? No hiding." He whimpered and nodded- A spank. "Words." "I won't hide anymore!" "Good toy."
Once you slid in, his mind went blank again. Though somewhere deep in the back of his mind, he noted- Oh. You were in his belly. There on the otherwise flat surface that scrunched up from his position, was the slight bulge of your cock in his guts. "Look at you- So pretty." You pressed on it, making him toss his head back with a pitchy moan, hips jerking under you and insides clenching wetly at the dick they were sucking on while his hands flew up to claw at your back desperately. As you leaned over him to lick into his mouth, you then reached one hand between you to slip off the cockring. "You wanted to cum- So cum." You immediately began a brutal pace that had him screaming as he finally was able to find his release, hurtling off that cliff and vision going white as he emptied his cum onto his stomach and yours, the pressure of having held it in so long and the angle of your mating press- The jerking of his hips from you shoving your deliciously big dick into his hungry little hole forcing his cum to splatter over his chest and on his neck and even wings. It was like a sinful angel was laying beneath you.
You slowed, then, and he let his breathing begin to even out. But it was an act of deception because you transferred his legs from your hold to over your shoulders and grabbed hold of his softened cock that laid on his cum covered belly to begin fucking him hard. He screamed and whimpered at the onslaught of now almost painful pleasure. "Wait no no no- Can't- Too much! Stop please I can't cum again-" "I know you can. You've done it before. Come on- Give me another one. Haven't even filled you up, yet."
He began crying even harder, tears blurring his vision as he panted and whimpered while his thoughts slipped away. Even as his mind went blank, his body still responded with his hips jerkily trying to meet your thrusts even as the twitched in overstimulation. Later he would glare at you with tears in his eyes and a pout while declaring that he would be in charge the next time he bottomed and would hold you down, instead, to take what he wanted. But for now, he could only let his hole be used as a warm, wet little cock sleeve. He choked on his drool as you bent him further so you could lean down to tongue his sensitive nipples, sucking bruises and hickeys into his chest and even right around his nipples- Going as far as to nibble on them.
It felt like hours of cumming and cumming and cumming and losing his mind as you fucked him and wrung out every drop of his spend and pleasure as you could along with the tears that still poured from his puffy eyes. It didn't help that he could feel the way you were filling him up with your own cum, having only orgasmed the second time he did. He was cumming dry when you finally slowed, kissing him gently and rubbing at his slightly distended belly that was full of your cum sloshing inside.
"Did so good for me, baby. I love you so much- Such a good boy for me." You helped him slowly come back down, helping to ground him as the high faded. You had slowly lowered his legs from your shoulders. This was why you always ended facing each other. So he could have that intimacy towards the end of seeing you and being able to kiss you. And so you could help him return to earth Penacony after you were done milking the cum and pleasure and pesky thoughts out of him.
Once he was back with you, you made sure to praise him more and kiss him all over his face before finally coming back to his lips to kiss him slow and deep. "Come on. Gotta drink water, birdie." You always made sure to help him up, let him lean against you as you began aftercare. "I love you," you would remind him at the end of it all. "I love you, too darling," he would always reply back, sealing it with a kiss.
Ah yes. Another round of: Roro writes entirely to much and with far too much detail. I made this one even longer and more detailed as well as included a bunch of writing in more story format rather than headcanon-ish form like I normally do. Because I'm back in business!!! (To write smut about hot characters I like-)
Hope you enjoyed~
-Roro, your friendly neighborhood degenerate
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eulalielatibule · 2 months
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The Lion's Den
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Pairing: Alpha!Ari Levinson x Omega!Reader
Word Count: 687
Warnings: Bratty!Reader, A/B/O, Dom/sub vibes, Alpha Commands, hints at smut but not actually written, Ari is a warning!
Summary: You're nearing your heat and you decide to tease your Alpha to get his attention.
A/N: This is my version of A/B/O and I hope you all enjoy it! It is more lion based than wolf based but still has some of our favorite tropes! I wrote this for @stargazingfangirl18 and @labella420 and their community extravaganza! The prompts I chose were: "I swear to God, if you make me come in there, you're gonna regret it," A/B/O, and Primal Play. This is an 18+ fic so no minors are allowed to read this!
🦁
You lounged back in your nest, the picture of luxury like the lioness you were. You had on your favorite satin cami set and a fluffy robe on top. Your nails were freshly painted and now you were letting a face mask dry as you watched your favorite comfort movie.
Your heat was coming on, and you had to try to hold yourself together until Ari, your Alpha, got home. While you tried to take care of your needs yourself with one of those pathetic knotted dildos, you needed the real thing. Nothing compared to your Alpha’s fat knot- you drooled just thinking about it. Another cramp hit you and you whined, curling up in the safety of your nest.
Ariiiiii when will you be home? :(
I'm dying here
I can't survive this
Alpha 👑: Oh you poor thing
Alpha👑: I'm 5 mins away
That's 5 minutes too long
I said I need you
Alpha👑: Are you trying to be bossy with me? That's cute, honey.
Alpha👑: Maybe I should take my time instead of what I had planned…
You gasped at his last text. The audacity! The last time Ari teased you, he had edged you for an hour before he finally knotted you. You thought about back pedaling and begging for forgiveness. But honestly your heat was making you feel grumpy and bratty, so you decided against it.
With a mischievous grin you went into the bathroom with a plan. After wiping the face mask off, undressed and took a series of lewd pictures. Some hinted at nudeness in a tasteful manner while others were very explicit.
You knew Ari would absolutely love all of them.
You picked out your favorite pictures and sent them to Ari without anything else. Nervousness fluttered in your belly, as did excitement. Perhaps this wasn't the best idea, but boy was it fun.
A minute passed and Ari didn't reply. You checked the text thread and- yup, he's seen the pictures. That made you even more nervous. You knew he'd be home very soon but you didn't want to go through whatever he was planning right away. So you gathered up your things and fled the living room to the safety of your guys’ shared bedroom. At least there you could lock the door.
Just as you were settling down into your comfy nest, you heard the door unlock and Ari's scent filled your nose. You could smell how aroused he was and it made you chirp involuntarily. You covered your mouth even if it was useless- Alphas had amazing hearing and if Ari smelled aroused, then you definitely did as well.
Ari's footsteps got closer and closer to the bedroom, and when he found that the door was locked he chuckled darkly.
“I swear to God, if you make me come in there, you’re gonna regret it.” While the words were menacing, his tone was one filled with playfulness and lust. He could feel your mischief through the bond and he let out a low roar. An Alpha's roar was so deep that betas and omegas could feel it vibrating through their core. And since Ari was your Alpha, it just made you even needier.
“C'mon, mega, be a good girl and open the door.” It was a gentle Alpha Command, but you still couldn't resist. You chirped as you got up- feeling Ari’s pride bleed through the bond- and you slowly opened the door enough to peek through the crack.
“Hi, Alpha.” You said in a gentle, docile voice. Ari smiled in amusement at your sudden change in demeanor.
“Hi, Kitten. Wanna open the door some more for me?” You knew it wasn't a suggestion but you still hesitated as you obeyed your Alpha once more.
All at once he was on you, pinning you to the nearest wall and burying his nose in your neck. You whimpered as he snuffled along your neck, nipping at your mating gland that he claimed just months before.
Finally he pulled back, eyes dark with lust as he uttered the words you were longing for all day.
“Present for me, Omega.”
🦁
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imaginespazzi · 1 month
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Part 6: Leaps of Faith
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Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 7
I hope that you catch me, cause I'm already falling (you put your arms around me and I'm home)
(In which a writer who can see the end approaching starts building towards that ending)
Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd
Themes: Angst and Fluff
Words: 8.0K
TW: Swearing, Alludes to Sexual Content
A/N: Good evening my lovelies <3. Happy Sunday and Happy Mothers day! First of all, I wanna thank y'all for being ever so patient with me. I know I've been pretty bad about updating lately and y'all have been so sweet with your asks and I really appreciate it. This fic is very close to its end. I probably could have ended it with this chapter but there's a very specific ending I want to write so this one is more of a self-indulgent filler but I think y'all will like this one. There will be one more chapter and then an epilogue of sorts. Once again, there are most likely logistical inaccuracies. I'm not even gonna lie, the editing on this one is shoddy so there are definitely grammar errors/typos. For now, ignore them and I'll go fix them later. As always, even if we're near the end, feel free let me know what you liked, what you didn't and anything you'd like to see before we get to the end. Have a wonderful week my angels <3
April 2024 
“It’s a little early for ice cream hon,” Azzi jumps at the sound of her mother’s voice, startled eyes following the direction of the noise to find Katie leaning against the kitchen door, with a raised eyebrow. 
“It’s a little early to scare the living bejesus out of me mom,” she says with a hand to her chest. 
If possible, Katie’s eyes roll even further at her daughter’s sarcastic tone as she makes her way over to the kitchen counter. She’s gotten herself a spoon and everything, ready to steal some ice cream for herself, when she notices the flavour. Next to her, Azzi stiffens. 
“You hate mint chocolate chip Az,” Katie says quietly. 
“I couldn’t find the strawberry ice cream,” Azzi defends stubbornly, her face taking on a guarded expression. 
Katie walks over to the freezer, opening it and pointing at the strawberry ice cream, Azzi’s favourite, that’s sitting in plain sight, “it’s right there.”
“Well,” Azzi splutters, “I’m trying something new,”. 
“You hate trying new things.”
“I’ve grown up I guess.”
“Azzi.”
“Mom.”
“Azzi, why are you eating ice cream you hate at 4 in the morning?” Katie finally asks in her best mom voice, sighing when she gets a mumbled response from her daughter, “in words Az, please.”
“Paige likes it,” Azzi admits slowly, and before Katie can say anything, before Azzi can dwell on what she’s said, she launches into a rant, “god knows why. Actually I know why because she’s stupid and weird and likes the dumbest shit. Who the fuck likes mint? Who the fuck likes mint and chocolate together? Gross. This shit is disgusting. It tastes all wrong. Paige is just-,” Azzi throws her hands up in the air, “she just doesn’t understand that some things don’t belong together. They can’t. They’re too different and it just- there’s a fucking balance to things you know? And she just- she doesn’t get that. It’s just- it’s not meant to be.”
“That doesn’t explain why you’re eating it right now,” Katie says carefully. 
“Because I miss her,” the truth bursts out of Azzi like an erupting volcano, burning itself into every crevice of her skin, “because for some fucking reason I don’t hate the taste of mint chocolate chip. Because maybe they do go together and maybe I’ve been the stupid one this whole time.”
Since she’d stepped out of the hotel in Cleveland, all Azzi could think about was going back, saying fuck it to all the useless logic she’d come up with and going back to the only thing in her life that had ever made sense her Paige. But as it often did in that clichéd battle between head and heart, her head had won out. And she’s never questioned why her head wins so much, why she’s always chosen to listen to the practical side of her brain, until now. Until now when the urge to turn back time, to make herself stay in that hotel room, is all that’s consumed her for the last week. 
“Azzi,” Katie wraps her arms around the younger girl, “what happened with you and Paige?”
Azzi hesitates for a second and then everything’s spilling out of her lips, the good, the bad, the inbetween, all of it tumbles out like an uncontrollable waterfall. There’s something freeing about being able to say it all out loud, something freeing about the tears Azzi finally lets roll down her cheeks. She grips the edge of the counter to keep herself from keeling over, starting to feel herself crumble under the heaviness of all these stupid feelings. 
“It shouldn’t be this hard,” Azzi whispers, “we used to be so easy.”
“Oh Az,” Katie rubs a thumb against her daughter’s cheek, “you used to be kids. You’re all grown up now. It’s always harder when you’re older.”
“Well, I don’t like it. I just want to be the way we were again.”
“So why don’t you?” Katie asks like it’s the most simple solution in the world and Azzi shoots her mother an exasperated look. 
“What do you mean? How do we even do that? We can’t be just friends again. We tried. Were you not listening at all?”
“Azzi, sweetheart, you’ve never been just friends.”
“That’s not true,” it’s a futile attempt at arguing against what’s become more of a fact than an opinion in Azzi’s life. It’s a truth she’d let herself acknowledge once and then buried deep within her, scared that once unleashed, it would ruin everything. Except, it turns out, even without it, things had still turned to dust.  
“Do you remember when you came home from Minnesota that first summer with Paige? You were either moping around or you were on call with her. There was no in between. It got better eventually, the moping stopped but the calls? I think you fell asleep on facetime with her almost every night. And you were tired every morning after, you barely had time to eat before school but every time I suggested that maybe you cut back, that was never an option,” Katie smiles fondly, “it’s when I knew.”
Azzi does remember, remembers talking about everything and nothing, remembers laughing and crying, remembers when Paige’s breathing was the only lullaby that could relax her into sleeping. And she remembers battling with that voice in her head, the one convinced there’s something more, silencing it with I’d do this with anyone. But that wasn’t true then and it’s not true now because Paige has never been just anyone, never been just a friend. Because even if Azzi’s never been brave enough to say it out loud, Paige is and has always been everything.
Despite knowing the answer and maybe dreading it just a little bit, Azzi asks it to her mom anyway, “what did you know?”
“That she was your person. You were too young, I couldn’t call it love just yet but I knew Paige was different then, she was yours in a way none of your other friends were. You were different around her,” Katie nudges her daughter, “Azzi you’ve always been just a little bit in love with her and she’s always been just a little bit in love with you too. The two of you have just been a matter of time.”
Azzi closes her eyes, and unlike other people, she doesn’t see darkness or little spots of light, she just sees Paige. Her mother’s words wash over her, like acid in her self-inflicted fight the feelings wounds and yet, the idea of she’s loved me too feels like a band-aid being delicately placed on the scars of her heart. 
“And place,” she whispers, eyes still closed, “we never seem to get time and place right.”
“Why do you need to?”
Another exasperated look is sent Katie’s way at that question, “we live on different sides of the country mom, what do you mean why do we need to?”
“I mean the two of you have barely ever been in the same place. But you made it work, when you had even less, when you felt even less. But you’re adults now. You have other resources now. And I know timing is difficult but- it’s you and Paige. What are you so scared of Azzi?”
Azzi sucks in a deep breath, “what if Paige runs away again?”
“What if you run away again?”
“Excuse me?” 
“Who was the last person to walk away, Azzi?,” Katie sighs when Azzi is adamantly silent, “I know she hurt you by leaving. I know she hurt you by pushing you away. But you did the same thing. You chose UCLA,” Katie holds up a hand when a frustrated Azzi tries to interrupt, “and it was the right decision for you Azzi and she should have supported it. But that doesn’t meant you didn’t hurt her and then you chose Zoe-”
“I didn’t choose Zoe-”
“Yes you did Azzi. Sweetheart you’re my daughter and I will always tell you the complete truth even if it’s not what you wanna hear. And the truth Azzi is that Paige might have hurt you in 101 different ways but that doesn’t mean you didn’t hurt her back in 99 different ways too.”
“You think I don’t know that?” Azzi whispers, “that’s the problem mom. It hurts when she hurts me but it hurts even more when I hurt her. I don’t want that for us but I just- I just don’t know how to stop it without stopping us.”
“You haven’t even tried, baby. Paige held out a hand and you ran away.”
“She left first. How am I supposed to trust that she won’t just do that again," all that’s missing from Azzi’s stubborn whine is a foot stomp.
“Because she came back. It took her a little bit, I know, but she came back and she’s ready to fight, the question is, are you?”
“Why are you defending her?” Azzi splutters, “who’s side are you even on?”
“There are no sides to this sweetheart. The two of you are on the same side. So maybe instead of fighting against her, take that hand, fight with her.”
***
The WNBA draft is a momentous occasion this year. With a hyped draft class like no other, and the promise of even greater ones in the future, there’s a sense of celebratory hope dangling in the air. When the invite had first come in, Azzi had known the same one would be sent to a certain blonde in Connecticut as well. And a part of her had wanted to hide herself away from that possible collision, but every other part of her wanted nothing more than to get just a glimpse of the blonde.
One moment Azzi is surrounded by flashing cameras and the echo of her name on everyone’s lips, the next everything around her is fading away her eyes meet Paige’s on the other end of the WNBA draft orange carpet. It’s nothing new really. Since she’s met her, the blonde has commandeered all of Azzi’s attention whenever she’s nearby. Sometimes it feels like all of her other five senses fade away to give birth to a secret sixth one, one that’s solely dedicated to Paige, one that’s terrifyingly all-consuming. And yet, despite the heaviness of we’ve said too many goodbyes, for the first time in what feels like eternity, Azzi feels like she can finally breathe. 
And then Paige looks away. 
And Azzi’s back to struggling for air. 
It’s selfish of her, she knows, to expect something, not when she’d been the one to leave them stranded on different islands. But Azzi doesn’t seem to think logically when it comes to Paige and even as she tries to turn her focus back to posing for the camera, every inch of her body is dangerously aware of the blonde’s every move, just a mere few feet away from her. Her conversation with her mother is echoing in her head, giving rise to dangerous desires of what if i grabbed your hand and we ran away together. 
Paige is a natural on the orange carpet, all dazzling smiles and twinkling eyes. She glides through it, inching closer and closer to Azzi, but never giving away any sense of discomfort. And if it was anybody else, maybe they’d never catch onto the nerves hidden beneath Paige’s facade of calm, cool and collected. But once upon a time Paige used to be Azzi’s favourite puzzle and she has every part of the blonde committed to memory. It’s in the way Paige’s teeth gnaw at her lips for the briefest of seconds, in the way her right index finger is begging to tap a beat against where her hands rests on hips, in the way she’s blinking just one too many times. 
And then with one more heavy footed step from Paige, the distance between them is barely a couple inches and they let out identical breaths of air, both of them keeping their focus on the cameras in front of them. It’s loud, too loud, and still all Azzi can focus on is the sound of Paige breathing. The air around them is thick with tension. It feels a bit like they’re silhouetted against a sky made of words they’ve left unsaid and clouds of all the bitter mistakes they’ve made are hanging over their heads. And when their pinkies brush together, and a jolt of electricity sends shivers of I miss you more every day again her skin, Azzi questions if she’s ever made the right decision when it comes to Paige. 
“Wait wait wait,” Ari cuts in, as she squeezes herself in between the two of them, “I wanna get in between the two of you.”
A harsh cry of no sits heavily on the top of Azzi’s tongue as the older woman forces a break in whatever little bit of contact she’d had with Paige. She feels a little pathetic, the way every little inch of her skin is craving for that touch back. It had been nothing, a barely there moment and still Azzi thinks, when she goes to bed tonight, if that was all she’d get of Paige, then it’ll be the only thing that’ll feature in her dreams. 
“Alright one with just Paige and Azzi,” Ari directs the media, stepping out of the way and pushing the two younger girls together. And it’s laughable that a little brush of their pinkies had Azzi feeling any type of way because when they’re suddenly pressed together, every inch of Paige’s side fitting into Azzi’s like it belongs, the way the world suddenly bursts with light and colours makes Azzi wonder if every moment without Paige has simply been monochrome. 
It comes to them naturally how to pose together, arms winding around each other’s waist, heads involuntarily leaning against the other’s. And the smiles might be for the cameras but Azzi knows hers is the most real it’s been all night. It might be temporary, she might lose Paige in the chaos, but for now Paige is here and Azzi has learned how to be content with whatever little she can get. 
As the media moves to capture other people, the logical thing to do would be to separate, to let go of each other. But instead they stand there, still completely wrapped around each other, heart rates in sync as they breathe in each other’s presence. And then Paige’s hand falls from the small of Azzi’s back to tangle their fingers together and they let out identical sighs of relief, something so cathartic in the purposefulness of that touch. Everyone is too busy to notice that the two of them have fallen into a whole other world, one where there’s only two of them and every emotion that they’ve only reserved for the other. There’s no words exchanged as Paige guides the two of them out of the spotlight, somehow keeping their hands clasped together in secret, despite the ever growing crowd. And Azzi doesn’t know this building at all, doesn’t have the faintest clue where she’s being led to, but as long as it’s Paige pulling her along, she doesn’t care where, she thinks she’d go anywhere. 
Paige stops abruptly in a secluded corridor, turning to fully face Azzi. And the sincerity in the blonde’s crystalline blue eyes, as they roam every inch of Azzi’s body before coming to fixate on her face, steals the air away from Azzi’s lungs. Paige has gotten better over the years at building walls, but with every new lock she places on her emotions, there’s a key to open them that seems to always find its way to Azzi. In the delicate golden hue, Paige shines brighter than any star ever could and in the dim light Azzi can make out every bit of hurt and love and please can we just have this moment that Paige can’t put into words. 
“Hi,” Azzi whispers softly, hands itching to reach out and caress Paige’s skin. 
“Hi,” Paige says back, even quieter. She stares at Azzi as if she’s memorising every little detail and then her face crumbles. Azzi feels her heart drop at the single tear that trickles down Paige’s cheek as she lets out a broken whimper. And this, this unspoken power they seem to have over each other, the uncanny ability to just hurt each other without any bit of effort, is what scares Azzi the most. It’s too much. They shouldn’t be able to do this. 
“Paige,” Azzi’s fingers twitch but she hesitates, not knowing if it’s the right thing, “fuck- P what’s wrong?”
Paige doesn’t reply, eyes wandering down to where Azzi’s trying to keep her hands still against her sides and when she looks back up, her eyes are bloodshot, “what’s wrong? What’s not wrong Azzi? You won’t even fucking touch me.”
“I didn’t-” Azzi struggles to speak, “I didn’t think you’d want me to.”
“Can you just- fuck- can you just stop overthinking things for once in your life. Of course I want you to touch- you know what nevermind. This was a bad idea. You made yourself clear and I’m just- fuck- I should- I should just go.”
She sounds adamant enough but all it takes, when Paige moves to leave, is the strangled cry that leaves Azzi’s lips. The sound is enough to pull Paige right back in. She takes one look at the tears brimming in Azzi’s eyes. And then she’s pushing Azzi against a wall, hands on either side caging the younger girl between her body and the hard surface behind. She presses their foreheads together and Azzi feels like every part of her might just be a part of Paige too. 
“I miss you. I miss you so fucking much. It’s barely been two weeks and I- fuck- Azzi- I’ve missed you every single second and now you’re here and I still miss you. And it really fucking hurts.”
“I’m sorry,” Azzi whispers, finally letting her hands cup Paige’s cheeks, and it’s worth it for the way Paige seems to completely melt into her touch, “I’m sorry I keep hurting you. I keep thinking I’m doing the right thing but- I don’t know- I feel like I’m always doing the wrong thing when it comes to you. I don’t- I don’t know what to do.”
“Just let me be with you,” Paige’s voice is wrecked with desperation as she presses herself as close to Azzi as possible, “I’ll be your whatever- whatever you give me- whatever you want- I just- I just want you Az- whatever little bit you’re willing to give me- I’ll take it- and if you want me to wait- fuck Azzi- I’d wait forever- you know that right? However long it takes, baby. Just want you- just want us.”
Leaps of faith are scary. Azzi’s never been great at taking them, too cautious, too much of a worrier. She’s more of a step back from the cliff kind of person. If she doesn’t jump, she can’t fall. But here’s the thing, when she was fourteen, Azzi jumped off of her first hypothetical cliff. It had been on a plane, when after avoiding one too many deep questions, Azzi had admitted to a girl she barely knew,that maybe she could like girls. It was the first time she’d ever let herself acknowledge that truth about herself and the girl next to her was a stranger but there was something about her, something that screamed i’ll hold your hand and if you jump it’ll never be alone. And ever since then, that girl, Paige, has always been there. Hands outstretched, ready to jump off any ledge. Because if there’s hard ground underneath, then they’ll learn how to fly together and if there’s water, they’ll figure out how to swim. With Paige there has always been the promise that, whatever it is, they’ll figure it out together. And it’s with that promise in mind, that Azzi takes the leap of faith. 
“Me too,” Azzi whispers, heart beating erratically. 
“What?” Paige searches Azzi’s face, as if waiting for her to take it back. 
“Us. You. You and me. I want that too,” a ghost of a smile begins to creep onto Azzi’s face, and for the first time in god knows how long, she feels feather light, a little bit like she’s floating on a rainbow. 
“You mean it?” Paige asks earnestly, hands moving from the wall to clutch at Azzi’s waist, “don’t play-Azzi- okay- you mean it for real?”
“I do. I want this- I want this so much and I’m still- I’m still really scared and maybe it’ll be a disaster but I- I want to try. With you.”
Azzi used to think she knew all of Paige’s smiles. Her small, not quite fake, but only for cameras and people she didn’t quite know, smiles. Her just for my friends smile that was filled with mirth and childlike joy. Her basketball smile that transformed into a smirk when she got too cocky. Her only for Drew smile, soft and filled with so much adoration and pride. Her Azzi smile, the one only the brown-skinned girl gets to experience, a smile that made Azzi’s her heart swell with love. But the smile that stretches across Paige’s face now, is one Azzi’s never seen before. This one throws Azzi’s entire world of balance, so bright, so big, so full of emotions. If she could, she’d tattoo that smile onto her skin forever. 
“We’re really doing this?” Paige asks, still a little stunned. It wasn’t what Azzi had planned for tonight. She hadn’t really had any plans for what would really happen. But then Paige had walked in and all Azzi could see was forever she was tired of fighting against. 
“We should take it slow okay-” Azzi wraps her arms around the older girl’s neck, keeping their foreheads still against each other’s, “I don’t- I don’t wanna rush into things and fuck it up. I can’t- fuck- I can’t lose y-”
“You won’t,” Paige swears, squeezing at Azzi’s wait, “I won’t let you. We can take it slow. We can take it however you want- I just- we’re doing this?”
“Yeah,” Azzi can’t help the grin that fills up her entire face, “yeah we’re doing this.”
And as they surge forward to claim each other’s lips, and as they meld every inch of themselves into each other, and as they smile and cry into the kiss simultaneously, and as they etch promises into each other skin, and as they let themselves finally fall into each other, for each other, it feels a lot like coming home. 
***
July 2024 
The early morning sunlight casts a dark shadow across Paige’s face, causing the still asleep blonde to scrunch up her face in irritation. Azzi, who’s been awake for nearly half an hour now, can’t help the fond smile that creeps onto her own lips. She shifts herself to block the sun and Paige lets out a content sigh, burrowing herself further into her pillows. And the thing is every moment with Paige is special but there’s something about waking up to her in the morning. Azzi’s always awake first and it gives her ample time to just admire the girl in her arms, blond hair tousled all over her pillow, lips parted slightly open, and one arm always, always, splayed across Azzi’s torso, holding her close. Over the course of time, Azzi’s found out that the second she moves, Paige seems to feel her leave, waking up instantly. 
There had been an adjustment period if Azzi's honest. It had taken her a while to shake that fear of Paige not being there in the morning. The first morning, she’d been scared to open her eyes, even if she could feel Paige’s presence right next to her. That had been one of the few mornings that Paige was fully awake first, hovering above Azzi to wake her up. And when she finally did get the courage to open her eyes, the first thing Azzi had seen was Paige, blue eyes sparkling with unfiltered adoration, a smile filled with promises of every morning just like this. And that had been enough. 
Azzi reaches out to brush a hand through Paige’s soft blond hair, mesmerised by how pretty Paige looks in the morning glow. A lot of Paige belongs to the world now and Azzi’s not opposed to sharing really, because someone so fucking perfect, deserves to be celebrated like that. But there are some parts of Paige that belong to Azzi and Azzi only, some parts Azzi cherishes as being only hers. This is one of them and Azzi takes a snapshot of it, knowing she’ll need it to function in a few months, when she won’t get the real thing. 
“Are you watching Paige sleep?” Azzi almost jumps at the sound of Drew’s voice at the doorway, having been too immersed in Paige to have even heard the door open, “that’s kinda creepy Azzi.”
“Jesus Drew, whatever happened to knocking?”
“I forgot?” Drew grins, before he plops on the bed, the force of it making the whole frame shake a little bit. 
“Drew!” Azzi chides, “you’re gonna wake her up.”
Drew cocks his eyebrows, sparing his sister, who seems unphased by the sudden little bit of chaos around her, still fast asleep, an unimpressive look, “please she can sleep through anything. Besides, it’s already 9. I thought we were gonna do things. I been up for aaaages.”
“She’ll be awake soon,” Azzi smiles, ruffling the younger boy's hair. Drew rolls his eyes and it’s remarkable how much he resembles Paige, not just by face, but the mannerisms too. 
He huffs for a second before his eyes sparkle with an idea, “what if we pour water on her!”
“Drew!” Azzi chastises again, trying not to giggle. 
“Boo,” Drew crosses his arms across his chest, “you used to be so cool Azzi.”
Azzi laughs as she’s reminded of a younger version of herself, scheming with Drew on how to wake Paige up. And it’s not that she’s beyond that really, tucking the water idea for a rainy day, but Paige looks too peaceful this morning and she wants to preserve that look of serenity on the older girl’s face for just a little bit longer. 
“Hey Azzi,” Drew says after a while and Azzi hums in response, “when you and Paige get married, I can still be a groomsman right? Even if there’s no grooms?”
“Wha- where did that come from?” the brunette’s eyes widened at the question, sitting up a little straighter. 
Drew peers up at her with all the innocence of a pre-teen, “you are gonna get married right?”
“I don’t-”
“It’s too early for your yapping Drew,” Azzi’s saved from answering by Paige’s tired voice entering the conversation. She looks over to find Paige’s eyes already on her, a soft smile playing on her lips as she looks up at Azzi. If Drew wasn’t sitting right there, Azzi would lean over and kiss her and let Paige deepen it until they were both satisfied. 
“Oh thank god,” Drew cheers dramatically, “I thought you were gonna sleep forever.”
Paige scoffs, the arm that’s still wrapped around Azzi’s torso tightening its hold, “I wish.”
“Well you’re awake now so get up,” Drew whines, moving from his spot on the end of the bed, to flop on top of Paige’s body instead, “get up, get up, GET UP.”
“Get off,” Paige groans but there’s no real force behind it. Azzi watches with a fond smile, as Paige flips Drew over so that she can tickle him, eliciting rounds of laughter from the younger boy. Something in her heart flutters, her mind going back to Drew’s question. She’s never really been one to think too hard about marriage and children and that domestic suburban life, leaving it up to fate, but now- well, maybe. 
“Okay aight aight enough. Go get ready for breakfast and we’ll be down in a second,” Paige says, ushering Drew off of the bed. 
“You can just tell me you want me to leave so you can kiss Azzi you know?” Drew scrunches up his nose, “you two are gross.”
Paige sends him a stern look and gets a dramatic eye roll in return but as he always does, Drew does as he’s told, mock saluting the two of them and skipping out of the room. 
“He’s right by the way,” Paige says softly, turning back to where Azzi’s leaning against the backboard, “I do want to kiss you.”
Azzi smirks lopsidedly, “what’s stopping you?”
She squeals in surprise when Paige pulls her, the force of it causing both of them to tumble onto the front-end of the bed. Azzi ends up on top of Paige, hands resting around her neck, the blonde’s hands holding her waist in place. 
“Good morning,” Paige grins, clearly proud of herself as she chases Azzi’s lips to pull her into a searing kiss.
“Good morning,” Azzi whispers back, thumb caressing Paige’s left cheek.  
“Just so you know,” Paige pulls away, a determined glint in her eyes, “we’re so getting married one day.”
***
October 2024
Azzi’s mood has been rancid for the last couple of weeks. It’s terrible she knows; it makes her irritating to play with and a nightmare to live with. But even if this had been expected, that she would be on one end of the country and her heart would be on the other side, it doesn’t stop her from constantly being in a state of missing Paige. And it’s different from before, now that there’s a certain surety of of course i’ll see you soon but soon never really feels soon enough. 
“Azzi can you please get the door,” Kiki calls from her room when the doorbell rings. 
“I’m busy,” Azzi grunts back, snuggling further into her pillow with a book she isn’t actually reading, “you go get it.”
“Azzi please, I’m literally in the middle of getting dressed,” Kiki yells exasperatedly. 
If it wasn’t for the fact that she’s pretty sure her teammates are about this close to plotting her murder, and deservedly so, Azzi would sink back onto her bed and let the incessant doorbell noise continue. But she does love her teammates, thinks Kiki probably deserves to change in peace, and it forces her out of bed, grumbling away about annoying visitors. Until she actually gets a look at the visitor. Paige stands on the doorstep, confident as ever, a bouquet of roses and peonies and lilies in her hand. 
“You’re here,” Azzi breathes out, staring in awe. 
“And thank fucking god she is,” Kiki quips from behind her, “maybe we can finally get our old happy Azzi back and not this bitch.”
Paige laughs, “watch how you talk about my girl Rice.”
“You’re here. You’re really here,” Azzi whispers again. 
“I heard you missed me baby,” Paige says, her cocky smirk betrayed by the softness in her voice. And then Azzi is flying into her arms, throwing Paige off balance. 
“So fucking much,” Azzi admits into Paige’s neck, eliciting a giggle from the blonde, “Kiki’s right. I have been a bitch.”
“Just a little bit,” Kiki calls out again but there’s a new fondness in her voice. It’s funny how her team, even the haters, have slowly become Paige fans. They’d been hesitant at first, just like the UConn girls, but now well, it seems the basketball world’s Montagues and Capulets have learned to accept their star players’ relationship. 
“Missed you too Az,” Paige’s tone is vulnerable as they break away, “alright, go get changed, I wanna take you somewhere.”
“Or…,” Azzi presses her lips to Paige’s neck, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses, “we could stay here and do something else.”
Paige shivers under her touch, stepping away to keep some semblance of control “n-no I have plans,” but she can’t help but kiss Azzi’s pout away, “it’ll be worth it, I promise. Besides,” she bites at Azzi’s ear, “there’s always later.”
***
“Your big plans are to bring me to the supermarket,” Azzi cocks an eyebrow as they walk down one of the many aisles, “you turned down sex for this? Should I be offended?”
Paige doesn’t say anything, concentratedly looking at signs, trying to figure out a specific section, before an aha! moment dances over her face, and she pulls Azzi with her, the younger girl going willingly, despite the eye roll. She stops triumphantly in front of the sushi section and Azzi looks at her quizzically. 
“I’m getting you supermarket sushi,” Paige says pointedly, “and then you can get me mac and cheese.”
And if you brought me sushi I’d have brought you your favourite mac and cheese. Oh. The realisation of what Paige is doing trickles around Azzi a little bit like rain after a long summer drought. She thinks back to the bouquet, everything suddenly making sense.
“You’re such a dork Paige Bueckers,” Azzi says softly, tapping the older girl’s nose. 
“Your dork,” Paige grins cheesily, “now hurry up and pick one. I don’t wanna miss the sunset.”
***
Once she catches on it, it doesn’t surprise Azzi to find that Paige has everything planned out perfectly, down to the exact spot in the park- the one by Paige’s recovery airBnB, the one they’d taken countless walks in trying to repair their friendship- where the two of them can be away from everybody else, in their own little bubble. And she has a picnic blanket, that’s a little small but they don’t really want space from each other anyways. They lean against a tree, food set up in front of them, Paige’s laptop, carefully piled on top of a couple of books to be the perfect height, set a little bit further away. 
“So what NBA game are we watching?” Azzi asks with a smile and Paige groans, “what? Was that not part of the plan?”
“Dude come on. It’s the beginning of October. Please tell me you know the NBA season isn’t happening yet,” Paige rubs her temple, only a little endeared by the comment, “are you sure you’re a basketball player?” 
“There are games in October. I swear I’ve seen them before,” Azzi says sceptically. 
“Yeah at the very end of the month, not right now.”
“Well then close enough,” Azzi says indignantly, “I don’t need to know the exact day.”
“Whatever you say baby,” Paige acquiesces with a smirk and it earns her an elbow to the stomach, “what the fuck? That shit’s domestic violence you know?”
“Big words Bueckers, didn’t think you knew them,” Azzi teases, placing a kiss against Paige’s offended expression, before settling herself against the blonde’s side, sighing contentedly when she gets a kiss on her temple in return. They’re cliché enough to put on Love and Basketball, but Azzi doesn’t really end up watching much at all. In between slow kisses, she almost falls asleep a couple of times, the comfort of Paige’s arms like a blanket wrapping her in the warmth of this is my fairytale. 
“THE POLAROID,” Paige’s shout breaks Azzi out of her haze as she feels her body being shaken off, the blonde rummaging through her bag for the camera, “we have to take the polaroid. My wall needs it.”
“Oh yeah a tiny polaroid picture of us inbetween all your Lebron posters, a perfect fit,” Azzi drawls only to be met with a scathing look from Paige. 
“It’s for important things and Lebron is the most important of them all,” Paige explains with complete seriousness, as she finally finds the polaroid camera and shimmies back to Azzi with it in hand. 
The sunset is beautiful. Pink, purple, orange and blue, all blending together to create the perfect picture. But Azzi thinks it’s not nearly as beautiful as the girl in front of her, not nearly as beautiful as the date Paige had planned, not nearly as beautiful as the future she can so clearly see now. Her mind drifts back to the night of the phone call, and she can almost hear Paige’s sobs again, can still hear her own voice breaking. Back then, they had seemed impossible, a butterfly like dream that danced out of their grasp. 
“Hey,” Paige captures her chin with two fingers, “where’d you go?”
Azzi shakes her head, “nowhere. I’m right here. With you. Where I should be.”
“Sappy goof,” Paige snorts but she kisses Azzi like she’ll take those words and hide them in the labyrinth of her mind, protect them there forever. 
Taking the picture is a task, both of them bickering about angles and lights. It’s unnecessary arguing, in true Paige and Azzi fashion really but there’s something so mundanely domestic about it that Azzi finds herself wanting to memorise this moment too. They finally get the frame just right, somewhere in between what they both wanted. Azzi smiles at the camera, her Paige smile, as the blonde in question presses her lips against her cheeks. 
Click. 
And Azzi hopes, that however many years later, when they have a home of their own, amidst all the photos that they’ll take over the next years, this one will be hung somewhere on their wall, a testament to finally realising every dream they’d dared to dream together. 
***
December 2024 
There are pebbles being thrown at her window and Azzi has to stop herself from laughing when she peers down to see Paige, freezing cold in the Virginia December air, staring up at her with a goofy smile. She shakes her head when her phone rings, knowing it’s Paige and answers it with her own foolish grin. 
“What exactly are you doing?” Azzi asks, “come back to bed.”
“You said I was unromantic. I’m trying to be romantic,” Paige’s teeth chatter in the cold, as she balances her phone in one hand, still throwing rocks with the other. 
“I didn’t say that and throwing rocks at my window is supposed to be romantic? You’re going to wake the whole house up.”
“That’s what they do in all the good rom coms. And you said and I quote ‘we’re kind of boring’. You might be boring Azzi Fudd but I most definitely am not.”
It had been a throwaway comment Azzi had made at dinner with some friends from high school. One of her friends had been going on and on about some adventurous trip that she and her boyfriend were going on, and then asked Paige and Azzi if they had any of that planned. To which Azzi had replied that they were a little too busy, considering they were college basketball players still in season, and besides they were “kind of boring” people. She hadn’t meant it in any type of way. Personally, Azzi likes boring. Paige however, seemed to have taken the comment to heart and Azzi had woken up at 2 a.m. to an empty bed and the sound of something being thrown at her window. 
“Okay I’m sorry. I’m sorry. You're really interesting baby and the most romantic person in the world. Now will you please come back to bed,” Azzi concedes, already missing the feeling of being cuddled up in her blankets with Paige’s body heat keeping her nice and toasty. 
“No,” Paige says indignantly, “come down here.”
“Paige, it's freezing. It’s gonna start snowing any minute.”
“Exactly. That’s exciting.”
“Sleep is exciting,” Azzi whines, but she’s already padding around her room looking for a warm sweater, grumbling under her breath about the warm California sun she’s missing. She tiptoes down the staircase, wincing at the one step that creaks just a little too much, before pushing herself out the door. And it’s freezing cold, there’s sleep in her eyes, but it’s all worth it Azzi thinks, it’ll always be worth it, just to experience Paige’s smile. 
“Knew you’d come,” Paige grins cockily, mittened hands pulling Azzi into her.
“Yeah yeah. What are we even doing?”
“Azzi Fudd,” Paige bellows dramatically, “may I have this dance.”
Azzi stares at Paige’s outstretched hand wondering if this is some sort of cry for help, but one look at Paige’s face tells her that the girl in front of her is being absolutely serious. 
“This is your idea of exciting? Dancing in the street while it’s freezing with no music?” Azzi raises an eyebrow, but she takes Paige’s hand. 
“It’s spontaneous,” Paige says the last word with a flourish, as she spins Azzi, “why not dance in the street when it’s freezing with no music?”
And well, that’s a fair point. If anyone were to look out their window that night, they’d probably think the two girls were somewhat crazy. Laughing and giggling and tripping over each other as Paige hums a melody and Azzi occasionally joins in. It’s ridiculous and corny and cliché and perfect. And then the first little bit of snow falls, white drops circling around the two dancing girls, snowflakes catching on their eyelashes. The dim glow of the streetlight is enough to catch identical smiles on the two girl’s faces as they revel in each other. 
“You know some people say if you make a wish during the first snowfall, it’ll come true,” Paige whispers, still waltzing the two of them around, cheek pressed to Azzi’s, “you wanna try?”
And the thing is Azzi doesn’t really believe in all of that, in magic but something about Paige, something about this moment feels magical. It makes a believer out of Azzi. 
“Yeah,” Azzi smiles, “let’s make a wish.”
They stand still, holding hands, eyes closed, both a little breathless, as they make their wishes. And when they open them, if it feels a little bit like maybe their wishes have already been granted, well they’ll share it in a secret smile but never out loud. After all, wishes don’t come true if you speak of them. 
***
April 2025
7 seconds to go in the National Championship and Azzi’s UCLA Bruins are down by two points. It’s her last chance, having already declared for the 2025 WNBA draft, to win a national championship, to bring home their first basketball national championship since the 1978 team that had won the AIAW championship, to win their first NCAA championship ever. It had taken some sheer luck to get to this point if Azzi’s honest. As a two-seed in the Spokane region, they’d benefitted from their one-seed having been eliminated early and then getting to face a Cinderella six-seed in the final four. On the other side of the bracket, UConn, the favourites coming for a repeat, had been stunned by another team, the team that UCLA was now facing. That had caused a bit of a second-hand sting and Azzi’s not really trying to take revenge for Paige, but it'd be a lie to say the get back at them for me babe from earlier this morning isn’t ringing in her head. 
The play is simple, set screens for Azzi, get her open, get her the ball. A two would get them to a tie and three would win it outright. Either will do. It’s a little too reminiscent of last year when Azzi had failed at tying the final 4 game and she can still feel that loss on the tips of her fingers. They break out from their last timeout, breathlessly running to their spots on the floor. The whistle blows, Kiki inbounds the ball and everything is a blur. All Azzi knows is the shot clock is winding down. She runs off of what feels like a million screens. And then she’s open on the wing, for a millisecond. A perfect pass from Kiki makes sure the ball lands straight in Azzi’s hand. And she doesn’t think, doesn’t breathe, doesn’t even notice the defender put up a hand, she shoots the ball. There’s two people on the court that know for sure that ball is going in the minute it leaves Azzi’s fingers, the shooter herself and her biggest fan in the stands, who’s been just a little bit in love with that shooting stroke, since before anything else had even begun. 
With a delicate swish, the ball falls through the net, the buzzer sounds around the arena, the crowd explodes in blue and gold, as the UCLA Bruins win the 2025 national championship. 
Everything stills in Azzi’s brain for a second, her thoughts taking a second to catch up to reality. She’s never really been one to emotion on the court, keeping herself steely guarded through most games, even at the very end. But now, triumph and pride and just utter happiness at finally achieving one of her biggest dreams, comes roaring to the surface, manifesting itself throughout her entire body, as she lets out a scream of joy. Her teammates engulf her and she gets lost in a sea of hugs and tears and bright, decadent smiles. 
As thing start to calm down, there’s really only one thing on Azzi’s mind and Paige’s words echo in her ears, because if I’m gonna end up fucking crying, then I want it to be on your shoulder. And if I’m gonna end up celebrating, I want it to be in your arms. And Azzi thinks maybe Paige had discovered one of the biggest truths of their life with that, the truth that at the end of day, in any moment, big or small, happy or sad, the one person Azzi wants next to her, is her Paige. It’s been that way since she was fourteen, and too young to really understand the meaning of wanting someone forever, and she thinks if she has her way, it’ll be like that for the rest of her life, the rest of their life. 
Paige is beaming in the crowd, standing next to Jon and José, a #35 jersey proudly adorning her torso. She waves when she catches Azzi’s eyes, always her biggest cheerleader. And Azzi throws caution to the wind, fuck it, not caring that there’s still a large crowd or that cameras are likely to follow her every move. She pushes her way into the stands, stopping right in front of the blonde. 
“On a scale of one to ten, how bad would kissing you right now be?” Azzi asks, still a little breathless. 
A myriad of emotions flicker through Paige’s face before settling on a mischievous smirk, “probably pretty bad but you should do it anyways.”
Azzi grins before merging their lips together and everything else fades to the background, until she’s consumed by nothing but Paige. They break apart far quicker than either of them would like and Azzi expects to feel just a little bit of fear at what she’s just done, likely given the media a spectacle they could run a million and one stories about but instead, with her forehead still pressed against Paige’s, she feels nothing but calm. 
“I’m so in love with you,” Azzi whispers and Paige’s eyes widen. They’ve known it for a while now but it’s the first time either of them have said it. 
“Say it again,” Paige demands. 
“I’m so in love with you,” Azzi says again, grinning so hard, she thinks it might become her permanent expression, “like really fucking in love with you.”
“I’m so in love with you,” Paige whispers, pulling Azzi into a bone-crushing hug. 
And this might not be the moment where everything finally comes together. There’s still so much life left to live, so much that they still need to work through, so much they’ve yet to deal with. But for now, Azzi has a national championship and she has the love of her life, the rest will work itself out, or so she hopes.
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nwjws · 9 months
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when you break something important to him - yjw 🎐
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; pairing - idol!jungwon x gf!reader
; synopsis - you didn't mean to break jungwon's ipad, and he didn't mean to let all his stress and anger out on you.
; tags - fluff, angst? one shot, ; warnings - swearing, jungwon gets pretty mad, but he also ends up begging for your forgiveness, not proofread so there may be typos/grammar errors and other things i missed
; wc - 2.1k
; author's corner! this was requested! not my best work, but i hope u enjoy! :)
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you're in deep shit.
staring at the broken screen of your boyfriend's ipad, you know you're in trouble.
with jungwon's schedule packed with practice and shows, you decided you wanted him to come back to a clean and tidy home. so you used the spare key he'd given you to enter the boy's dorms and do them a favour.
upon opening the door, you were met by the sight of clothes spread around the floor, piled on top of each other. unwashed dishes sat in the sink, and- is that a receipt from something sunghoon bought two months ago?
yeah, you had your work cut out for you.
taking a deep breath in, you mentally prepare yourself for the next hour or two.
you got through it though, and seeing the place get cleaner made you feel proud of yourself. it's like the dorms suddenly increased in space, with the lack of clothes and displaced furniture littering the rooms.
you only had to polish the surfaces though. so you'd been wiping the dining table absent mindedly, thinking about how jungwon would react once he saw the place. maybe you could even pull a few kisses out of him.
but you should have paid more attention, and you would have noticed his ipad sitting on the side of the table.
the device fell to the tiled floor with a loud crack, having fallen on its corner before flopping onto it's screen. you'd knocked it off the edge.
a gasp escapes you, and you quickly knelt down to inspect the damage.
the corner had been scratched, the damage seeping into black at the corner of the actual screen. a crack striked through the screen, and colourful lines lit up rather than the lockscreen when you turned it on.
god, how did it even manage to get that bad? you hadn't thought the fall was that bad at first. clearly you made a misjudgment.
panic seized through you as you realised how important the device was to your boyfriend, using it in his practices almost every day. and now it was sitting in your hands, broken and unusable.
your hear the door unlock and voices filtering in.
perfect timing, you groan in your head.
"oh- y/n?" you hear jungwon's voice shout in surprise, the happiness in his voice making you apprehensive.
"hi..." you greet him weakly, trying to hide the broken ipad behind your back.
"wow, you cleaned up the place?" riki gasped. "it's amazing!"
"i wish i had a girlfriend who'd do this for me," heeseung chuckles, placing his bag on the table.
"oh my god, what's this?" you hear sunoo gasp from behind you.
you quickly spin around, turning to look at him, while the device stayed behind your back. you and the boy stare at each other with wide eyes, and you're about to say something, when jungwon speaks up.
"y/n... what happened here?"
only then do you realise that you'd forgotten jungwon was right behind you after turning to face sunoo.
"i... accidentally knocked it off the table..." you admit hesitantly. "it happened just before you guys entered."
"ah..." jungwon sighed, taking the ipad from your hands.
you gulped as you watched him check the device, before deeming it completely useless, seeing as it couldn't even show the screen.
he gave heeseung a look, who then signalled the others to go to their rooms. they didn't want to see their leader angry after a long and tiring day on stage.
"look at this... do you even realise how stupid that was? how am i supposed to practice tomorrow?" jungwon says to you, pinching his nose bridge.
"i know... i'm so sorry. i should have been more careful."
"yeah you have! i just wanted to come home and rest today, you know? but now i have something else to deal with after a busy day."
"i'll buy you a new one," you offer.
"no, i just- i don't want to talk about this right now. not to you," he shakes his head and turns away, opening his phone to text his manager. "it might have been better if you never came in the first place."
you're shocked. you understood that he had a tiring day dancing - that's why you wanted to try and lift some weight off his shoulders. but is he seriously disregarding your own efforts?
"are you being for real right now?"
"yes i am, why wouldn't i be?" he challenged. "i just spent all day on stage, using up all my energy, and i come home just wanting to sleep but instead i have another problem to deal with?!"
"i just wanted to help you!"
"i didn't need your help! it did less for me than you thought," he shouts.
"you aren't the only one working your ass off all day! i also have my own job, and still decided to go here straight after to clean up the dorm - which, by the way, was so messy?! it's like you guys don't know how to clean up after yourself."
"you know we don't have time! isn't that why you wanted to help?"
"oh, so you're twisting my words on me now, huh? i spent two hours cleaning the floors, the dishes, i even washed the clothes just laying around! you seriously didn't have enough time in your packed schedule to just put a piece of clothing back in your closet? you just let it pile up like garbage!" you huffed out.
"if you're just gonna shout at me, leave! you know how much this is going to set me back? if you didn't break my ipad i could easily do my work with no problem," he yells at you.
"i can't believe you right now. you're letting a stupid device - which i obviously broke by accident allow you to ignore everything else i did? to get in between us?" you stare at him with exasperation in your voice. you want to cry, and it physically hurts having to stop the sobs from escaping your throat.
"what?" his tone shifts from an angry to a more dejected one.
"i know your ipad is important, and i had planned to get you a new one because of it. i just wanted to take a burden off your back. but if i'm clearly not doing enough, then i guess i wasted my time here."
you pick up your own belongings and make your way towards the exit.
"wait-" he grabs your wrist, but you shake him off.
"i'm leaving, like you asked. sleep well jungwon, you clearly need it."
.
jungwon hadn't left you any missed calls or texts the next day. and you hadn't really expected him to.
in your time dating him, you had learned that it was best to give him some time to process things. then you'd start pestering him to talk about it after a day or so - you two always came out of your arguments stronger this way.
by the time his first attempt at talking to you again came - a call at 10pm, of all times - you decided. decided that you wouldn't make this easy for him, not when he made it hard for you the other night.
so you ignored the call. sat and stared at your screen, waiting for him to stop.
when he did, you turned your phone off and watched some new series on your tv until you fell asleep peacefully.
the next morning, you woke up and found that your boyfriend had tried to call you five more times, but went right to voicemail since your phone was off. you also received the 20 messages he had sent.
still, you resisted the urge to reply, and went off to the store.
again, jungwon tried calling you throughout the day, when he presumably had breaks during practice. every time your phone lit up and rang that familiar tone, your fingers itched to press answer and accept his apology and offer for a date out on the town. but you persisted in your resolve to keep him on his toes. he's going to have to grovel for your forgiveness.
after picking out a new ipad, you paid and left the store with the box in your hands. you fished your phone out of your pocket and finally turned your phone off again, so his incessant calls would stop disturbing your peaceful shopping (read: everyone was giving you weird looks for not answering the ringing of your phone).
someone should give you an award for not giving into your strong urges to do so.
looking at the time, you think jungwon's probably leaving practice now. no doubt he'd find you soon, if he wasn't already on the way.
is it unfair? you ask yourself, but you know the answer is no. jungwon had been completely unreasonable during the argument. you understood he was tired and how important the tablet was to him, but it didn't give him an excuse to overlook everything else you did. to shout at you like that, over something stupid like a cracked screen, none the less.
okay... maybe it was more than a cracked screen. you should apologise for it again.
"y/n!" ah, there he is.
you turn to see the face of your lovely boyfriend, who's been chasing you all day.
"jungwon." he ran up to you, panting, but not giving himself time to breathe when he took your hands in his.
"please, y/n. i'm sorry, really," he started, staring at you with those wide, beautiful eyes. "i know i was harsh, and it was stupid. you did so much for me, a big favour, and i had the audacity to react like that. over an ipad!" he laughed.
"i'm literally the biggest idiot on earth. in the whole universe. you're amazing, you know? i feel like you give me way more than i give back to you. so i want to show you how sorry i am.
"let's go watch the latest movie at the cinema tomorrow. it's on me. and then, i'll ask for some time off so we can go to that butterfly garden 20 minutes away - i'll try to catch some for you. not that they'd be as pretty as you, though."
you watched as he gradually lowered to his knees, looking up at you with pleading eyes. you quickly pulled him back up, shaking your head.
"don't- don't beg for my forgiveness," you sigh. "i understand. i'm sorry too, for breaking your ipad. so i got you this-" you handed him the bag that held his new ipad. his jaw dropped as he took it from you, gaping back at you.
"thank you..." he trailed off softly. in disbelief.
"this doesn't mean i forgive you just yet, though," you harrumphed. "you'll have to work harder. that butterfly garden does sound nice."
jungwon smiled and followed as you began walking away, arms folded.
"i'll bring you to that cat cafe downtown," he said, trying to take your hand in his, but you refused.
"even if you're allergic to them?"
"i'll just take my meds," he shrugged nonchalantly. "as long as you're happy. i know you love their little calico."
you gasp, remembering the adorable cat from the cafe. "i miss him so much! can we go now?"
"you have your own cat! me!" he pouted, going in front of you to stop you.
"well, it seems like my 'own kitty's' been misbehaving," you rolled your eyes playfully.
"i know, i know! i'm sorry. i'll bring you there right now."
jungwon called for a driver, who picked you two up and dropped you off at the cat cafe.
you failed to keep your snickers to yourself as you watched him sit in your booth, sniffing and rubbing at his (now red) nose, while you played with the cute little cats.
the corners of your mouth tug upward when you see him open the case you had bought, which you had customised at the store to have your lipstick stains all over it. he immediately ran to you and snaked his arms around your waist, hoisting you up into the air, and spinning you around while shouting 'thank you, i love you'.
"i love you too," you laugh as you kiss him on the cheek, leaving another mark on his face, identical to those on his new ipad's case.
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; perm taglist - @lovelovelovebts
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mypoisonedvine · 10 months
Note
Ummm if you’d feel like writing it, I would go absolutely fucking feral for some Jackson Rippner content by you!! Maybe him revealing he’s been stalking reader or something of the like?? Honestly just whatever wanna write! It would be amazing either way
oh ugh I've been waiting for the perfect opportunity to revisit this lil monster!!
warnings: con turned noncon, degradation, skanky club sex, jackson being creepy as hell
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"I swear I never do this," you blurted out alongside a giggle as he pulled you into the mostly-empty coat closet, pressing you up against the wall before the door was even shut.
"Me either," he replied as he started to pull up the bottom of your dress, but you couldn't know if that was true-- it didn't really matter now, did it?
You bit your lip as he groped your ass, strong fingers pulling your panties down to your thighs; you arched your back, hardly believing this was happening but insanely turned on that it was.
"God, you need it so bad," he noticed with a little laugh, and you whimpered from being called out like that. But you sighed with relief as you heard him quickly opening his belt and pants.
You gasped when you felt him press right up to your, his thick head sliding between your folds. "F-fuck, a condom," you reminded him, and he laughed a little.
"No time," he replied before sliding in, and you would've protested if you weren't too busy moaning from the stretch. "Shit, baby, you're soaked."
"O-oh, fuck," you purred as he slid all the way to the hilt, your eyes rolling back from how deep he was. You got pretty lucky that the handsome stranger you'd been flirting and dancing with tonight had such a perfect cock. And yes, you were plenty wet-- he'd been turning you on just with the way he danced with you, little teasing touches and his body pressed to yours... obviously you had to be pretty turned on to agree to this.
He pressed his hips to yours and held onto you tight as he started to thrust. "God," he groaned, moving pretty quickly already, "fucking dripping. Such a desperate slut."
You gasped, wondering if you should be offended by that; but it just made your walls clench on him in encouragement, so you really couldn't act mad about it now. "Fuck," you blurted out instead, "I-I said I don't do this--"
"I know you don't," he smiled, moving in closer to speak beside your ear. "I know you don't, baby, you're a good girl."
You smirked a little, wanting to remind you both of how deliciously wrong this was. "You don't know me," you breathed, "you don't even know my name."
"I know your name," he replied. "I know your address, your license plate number, that shitty password you use for everything--"
You laughed awkwardly, not sure what he was getting at... until he started to list them. Everything he said, he told you in a low moan by your ear, and the longer he went on the more your smile fell into a gasp and you fought to push him away-- but he just grabbed your wrists and pinned them to the wall as he growled and fucked you harder.
"Such a good fucking girl," he said again, sounding meaner this time though. "So good and so naive... I just had to see you let loose, baby, I'm sorry-- I wasn't supposed to break cover, but I had to see how easy it would be to get you to let out the little whore I could tell was hiding underneath. I have to admit, you were a lot easier than expected."
"What the fuck-- get off me!" you yelped, trying to squirm away, but it was totally useless, and he fucked you harder against the wall as he bit down on your neck.
"My name, by the way, is Jackson," he groaned. "I want you to say it when I make you come."
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corazondebeskar-reads · 4 months
Text
no quiet on this earth
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Joel Miller x f!reader
originally for Febuwhump 2024 Day 10 - killing in self defense | Febuwhump masterlist
words: 2.8k
summary: You and Joel run into hunters on patrol.
-- I'm a fucking menace, and this is Joel & reader from "you know you never stood a chance" (spoiler warning). BUT this can be read as a standalone. I just can't seem to help myself/let them go.
warnings: established relationship, jackson, patrol partners, hunters, Joel and reader both kill hunters, canon-typical violence, graphic descriptions of violence, lots of blood, oral (m receiving), p in v unprotected, creampie, feelings, guilt/trauma, trauma response, a little hurt and a LOT of comfort, Joel takes care of you, one (1) ass slap, pussy/clit spanking
dividers by @saradika-graphics
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They had been waiting for you. Not the biggest group of hunters that’s come ‘round, but there hadn’t been any signs. It was supposed to be an easy half-day route. 
It was also your first patrol with Joel. 
You’re already off to a rough morning. He’s settled back into Out There Joel, gruff and tense, and you’re already feeling useless again even though you know you can handle it now. 
You’re on horseback, you with a gentle brown mare that you’re a little irritated about. Penny is notoriously slow and usually used to teach people to ride. Tommy taught you to ride ages ago, but Joel fucking insisted. 
“Ain’t havin’ you have to deal with a spooked horse our first time out.”
“Our first time. I’ve been out loads of times,” you grumbled. He leveled you with a look so stern that you rolled your eyes. 
“Don’t start with your smart mouth,” he said. “Only way this works is—“
“If I do what I’m told. I got it. Same shit, different place.” 
To say you’re pissed would be an understatement. You thought after all the shit you’ve been through that he’d trust you now. And you’ve gotten quite good with your revolver and halfway decent with the rifle. 
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Now, out here on the trail to the safe house, neither of you has said a word. Just like the good old days. Y’know. If they had been good. 
You’re nearly there when they make their move. They don’t have guns, thank fuckin’ god, but there are five of them and two of you. 
It becomes quickly clear that they want the horses. Joel makes quick work of the first hunter that lunges for him. 
One comes at him from each side, and you’re too worried to notice the other two do the same to you. 
One grabs the reins and the other tries to yank you from the saddle. Your boots are stuck, and they don’t seem to particularly care if they break your legs during the extraction. 
You free your feet, boots left behind, and let the brick house of a man pull you down. He doesn’t care much about your landing, so when you hit the ground, you grapple for your revolver. 
His partner yells, and he spins back to you, a huge fist aiming for your face. But it doesn’t connect, because your bullet does first. 
He was close enough that it would have been near impossible to miss, which also meant that his stupid body landed on you, turning your clothes into a sponge for his blood. 
Joel’s rampaged through the others by now and turns to take down the one trying to abscond with your horse. 
But he doesn’t make the shot, because he freezes up when he sees you. 
“Get the fucking horse,” you yell. 
He swears and loads the rifle, one neat bullet into the head of the escaping hunter. He hadn’t fully mounted your mare yet, and his corpse crumples into the soft spring soil. 
Joel whistles and Penny takes her fucking time to come back, giving him a very unimpressed look and shaking her mane. 
He heaves the dead man off you. “Where?” he says sharply, eyes darting all over your body. 
“Nowhere, Joel, I’m fine,” you say. 
He’s already dropping to his knees, hands gripping and patting every inch of you before cradling your face. “You’re sure?”
“I mean, I think so. Unless I’m in shock, but I guess we’ll find out in a little bit.”
“Not funny, sweetheart,” he mutters, doing another check, slower this time and more thorough. 
You let him. You feel kind of funny, dizzy almost, but mostly just… muted. Like the world around you is muffled and you’re suddenly hyper aware of how blood is turning tacky and your jeans are stiffening as it dries. 
“Hey,” he snaps. 
You’re pretty sure that means he was already talking to you, and when you look up and meet his eyes, they abandon their irritation for concern beneath furrowed brows. 
“Sweetheart, listen to me,” he says, voice low and slow. It draws out the Texan twang and loops you in. “You’re okay. You’re safe. I’ve got you. You did what you had to do, okay?”
“Okay,” you echo, but the word sticks in your throat, tasting of copper. 
“Say it.”
“I did what I had to do.”
You’ve done as he said, but he looks more worried for it. 
“Alright, c’mon. I’m gettin’ you home.”
“But—“
“Rethink that, baby. I ain’t in the mood to argue.”
“But we were supposed to—“
“Yeah, and plans fuckin’ change. We’re going back. Tommy and I can come out and deal with the bodies later.”
He stands and pulls you up, though you follow willingly. You hover where you stand as he pulls a rope from his bag and tethers it to Penny’s lead. 
“What’re you doing?” 
“Want you on Oakley with me.”
“I can ride,” you snap. “I’m not fucking hurt.”
“I know,” Joel says. “But you’re gonna ride with me.”
“Don’t start this shit,” you say, mortified when your voice and hands are trembling. “I can handle myself.”
He spins around, fury written in the curl of his lip. “I fuckin’ know that! I don’t give a shit. You’re riding with me, end of fuckin’ discussion.”
You open your mouth, ready to bite back, but he seizes you by the shoulders and shakes you a little. 
“Don’t you fuckin’ get it? It’s not about you,” he snarls. You’re crushed against him before you realize it’s an embrace. “You’re gonna fuckin’ ride up here, so I know you’re okay.” 
“Oh,” you whisper, leaning into him. “Oh.”
“Yeah, oh,” he says, but the fight is already leaving him. He presses a kiss to the top of your head before he lets go. “Now get on the damn horse before I put ya there myself.”
You think you deserve credit for only hesitating a little, tempted to see if he really would. But his jaw ticks and you heave yourself up onto Oakley. Joel swings himself behind you, caging you in as he takes the reins. 
“You’re so fuckin’ stubborn,” he gripes. 
“I learned it by watching you,” you say, voice pitched in mockery of the vague memory. 
But instead of irritation, something akin to relief flashes across his face. “Yeah, s’that right?”
“Uh-huh.” Now that everything has calmed, you’re exhausted. He can tell because of course he can. He knows you too well. 
“C’mon, lean back. I got ya. Not gonna let you fall.”
You don’t sleep, not really, but you fall into something between the light and dark. It’s blissfully absent of reality. You’re only aware of the soft sunshine, the sway of the horse, and Joel. 
Joel, your Joel, is everything right now. All encompassing. You’re surrounded by his warmth and smoky musk, masking the chill and tang of the stains on your skin. 
His heart seems to beat in time with Oakley’s hooves and the steady pace he encourages keeps you lulled in this safest place. 
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“Holy shit, what happened?” Carl asks at the gates, almost loud enough to knock you from your peace. 
“Nothin’ too serious, she ain’t hurt,” Joel’s smooth tone settles you back down. “But do me a favor and get the horses back? Send Tommy my way in a while. I’m gonna take her home.”
Home. It sounds so nice. But you’re already there, you want to tell him. There’s nowhere you’d rather be than right here. 
You must actually say it, because he chuckles. “Okay, sweetheart, but I can think of somewhere I’d rather be.”
It hurts a little before he leans in and murmurs in your ear. 
“I’d rather be in a warm bath with ya. That sound better than stayin’ put?”
“Oh,” you say. “Yeah, you’re right. Way better idea.”
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He makes good on his promise when you get home. While he draws the water, he peels your ruined clothes off and sits you on the bathroom counter to rinse the blood into the sink. 
You sit very still with your eyes clenched shut as he cleans you. 
“I know,” he murmurs. “First one’s the hardest.”
You can’t quite stopper the whimper. 
“This is part of why I don’t like ya goin’ out there. I can’t protect you from this.” The admission costs him, but he seems to decide it’s worth it when you look up at him. 
The tub isn’t really big enough for both of you, but he makes it work, long sprawling limbs propped up to make room for you against his chest. You lie on your side, both to make more room and to press your ear to his chest and listen to his strong, tender heart. 
He holds you there, hand gentle on your head and the other around your shoulder until neither of you can pretend the water is comfortable still.  More importantly, his cock’s been pressing against you for a little while now, and you’re unable to ignore it anymore.
You roll over on your stomach, legs bent a little funny to fit, but it’s the right angle to press a kiss to the fat mushroom head that you love so much. 
“Sweetheart, you don’t need—”
But you just give him a look, because he knows better, he knows you’d never do anything you don’t want to. And he knows how often you crave it, how your throat aches for it.
He raises his hands in surrender. “I sure as hell ain’t gonna stop ya.” 
With the convoluted seating arrangement, you’re able to swallow down his length, working your throat open in the way you’ve grown to know well. It’s a lot at once, but the way he groans is worth the effort. 
You choke and gag a little, but neither of you are really bothered by it. Quite the opposite. And you’re grateful for the way the thoughts you don’t want to face are knocked from your brain each time he ruts deeper. 
Too soon, though, he’s pulling you off, spit thick with precum stringing between him and your lips as you whine.
“C’mon, let’s get out. I gotta have more of you.”
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You don’t dry off quite as much as you’d like, but you’re probably going to need to change the sheets anyway. He can’t be bothered to let you towel off properly, picking you up and setting you on the bed before crawling over your body.
He kisses you, ferocious but hesitant, and you trail your hands up his arms, basking in the way he encompasses you for the second time today. His soft, powerful body leaves no wiggle room, practically pinning you down with his bulk. 
Except he’s holding himself up, tense. And the gentleness of his tongue and distinct lack of nipping teeth in his kiss is grating. 
You turn your head to break apart. “Stop acting like I’m gonna fall apart.” 
“I—”
“Oh, don’t even. It’s like you think I’m going to break if you touch me.”
“I didn’t want to make it feel like…”
“I know,” you say, softer. “But I want to feel you, Joel. I don’t want to feel the ghost of it… him. Please.” 
“You wanna feel me, sweetheart? Want me to be a little rough with ya?” 
“Unless you’re too tired. S’it past your bedtime, old man?” 
He doesn’t fall for the taunt, but he pretends to, and you’re deeply grateful as he snarls and bites at your breast before licking and sucking at your nipple, taking it between his teeth and shaking a little. 
“Oh, fuck,” you moan, hand tangling into his hair. He wears it a little shaggier these days, and you find you like it long. A lot. 
“Think you can take it just like this?” he says around your other nipple. The hand that isn’t holding him up has reached down to his cock, rubbing it against your clit until you squirm, and then dragging it down your slit. “You’re fuckin’ soaked. I think you can take it.”
He doesn’t wait any longer than the first little nod of your head before he flicks his hips, parting you, forcing your body to make room for him. It takes a second thrust to push all the way in, and you cry out as he stuffs you full. 
It hurts so good. It’s just the edge you need to feel awake again. The world is no less fuzzy but the haze is pleasurable and electric instead of the numb fog that refused to dissipate. 
“That’s my girl,” he says. 
It floods you with warmth. You think maybe the sappiness is leaking through, that he can see how stupidly in love you feel. 
Or, you know, it’s actually leaking, since you’re apparently fucking crying. You can’t really begrudge yourself for it. It’s been a hell of a day. 
“There you go,” he murmurs, the gentleness of his voice playing second to the harsh slap of his hips and the tight pinch of his fingers on your breasts. “Let it out, sweetheart. Let me help you.” 
His pace, somehow, intensifies, the brutal snap of his cock blunt against the softest parts of you. He pushes your legs to your chest so he can shove his way in deeper, and smacks a harsh hand against your ass from his new vantage point. 
He grips your hip with one hand and lets up on your tits, only to show no mercy to your clit. He skips over the gentle circles and soft strokes, instead pinching and tugging. He wrenches two orgasms from you before he eases off. 
“Hold your pussy open for me,” he grunts.
You look at him with wide eyes. How can he still be finding ways to shock you with depravity? The two of you have to have fucked every which way, and yet. You slide a hand down but he shakes his head.
“Both of ‘em, baby. Nice and wide.” 
Your cheeks are burning as he lifts up onto his knees, pushing your legs apart to watch as you spread your lips wide. For a moment, he’s mesmerized by the push and pull of his cock splitting you apart and the way it comes out a little slicker each time. 
“Look at that,” he says, a smug smirk spreading. “Fuckin’ creamin’ all over me, sweetheart. Now hold still.”
Before you really process the order, still dying from how hot his filthy words are, he slaps your clit. You jerk and let go, crying out more in surprise than pain.
“Put your fuckin’ hands back,” he says, and you obey. 
Your whole body is on fire, maybe. He brings his hand down sharply again and again, making you hold yourself spread wide for him to use as he pleases. 
It doesn’t really surprise either of you when you come. He finally knocks your hands away from your cunt and leans back down over you, hips stammering sloppily. 
“Can I—” he chokes out, and you’re nodding so hard it shakes your brain around. He digs his fingers into your hips. “C’mon, sweetheart, one more. Gimmie one more while I fill you up.”
He goes to reach for your clit, but it doesn’t matter. As soon as he starts twitching and pulsing inside you, you come, eyes rolling back and fingernails digging into his biceps. 
When you’ve both settled, there’s something bright in his eyes, something wild and dangerous. He sinks his teeth into your collarbone and doesn’t pull out. His softening cock isn’t much smaller than it is erect, and he stays buried deep in you, eyes trailing over your face. 
“What?” you say softly.
“I thought… thought I fuckin’ lost you today.” His voice is gruff but tight.
“You didn’t, Joel. M’right here.”
He kisses you, and it’s not gentle exactly, not like earlier, but it’s tender and demanding. His hands grip you and roam, not pursuing pleasure but just to have his fill of you, to feel your body warm and alive beneath him. 
When he breaks away from your swollen lips, he presses a kiss to your forehead. “You did good. I don’t like it, but you did good. I’m not gonna ask you not to go out again, but—”
“I’m gonna ask Tommy if I can have a break,” you say, pursing your lips. “I’m not a coward, but I don’t know if I can do that again.” You’re burning again, but this time with shame.
“No one expects you to. It doesn’t mean you’re a coward. You’re tough, sweetheart. But y’ain’t a killer.”
“I am, though,” you whisper. 
“Stop. Yes, you killed that man today. But you had to. It was him or you. You’re a survivor. But I’m going to make damn sure you don’t have to be anymore, alright? We’re safe here, now.”
You let out a ragged sigh and try to relax back into the pillow. “Okay,” you agree. You can tell he needs it. How scared he was. 
At least for now, you’ll let him protect you from this.
*title from "Death For My Birthday" by Say Anything
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thelastsirenssong · 6 months
Text
I'm thinking of Bakugou's hands. Calloused palms and slender fingers, digging into your shoulder blades as you groan, the act unexpected as he asks you a question with two hands, and two words: "Long day?"
The chair you were sitting forward in is wooden, and his thumb pads are diligent as they are gentle seeking out the knots in your muscle.
The night has dragged on seemingly longer than the day, but you find ridicule in his question- as though you had any right to answer what was posed when one of the hardest working people you know is standing at your bowing spine.
"Not really. Just tired, I guess." You push against his hands, and you turn, to face his offended glare. "What?"
"I was working." You laugh, and his scowl deepens as he grabs you by the shoulders. "Turn back around, I ain't finished." You shake your head, facing the back of the wooden chair- examining the grooves, the lines of what once had been rings of age.
"How about I do yours? You sit?" And Katsuki, for how much he has learned, has not learned patience for the self sacrifice of others. His lip curls up, in a familiar disgust- something you don't see in your peripheral- before he bows his own spine to face you, red eyes mere inches from your own.
"Turn the fuck around." His expression is half as cruel as his words are, maybe even half of that still, but you are determined to not meet his gaze, eyes still on the chair.
"I don't wanna." When his hands cup your face you don't expect it. To be pulled from facing a wooden chair by the soft tips of his fingers is all you need to look him in the eye as he strokes your cheeks with his thumbs.
"'S too bad I ain't askin'. Come on. Turn around." And so you do, with a slow spin, settling back into the chair rigidly with your face aflame as you feel his fingers find their way back around your shoulders, and he squeezes, forcing you to cave into him again.
"Swear to god everyone around here's always gotta act so fuckin' tough." He pushes harder, his fingets finding another particularly vicious knot, and you groan, but he makes no sound behind you. No snort of gleeful scorn, no scoff of impatience.
"I'm not. I'm not acting tough."
"Then you're lyin'." You laugh softly, and if he smiles behind you, you can't see it.
"Fair point." He grunts, and you hiss at his hands as they move lower, pushing closer to the center of your back.
"I'll let it go if you promise you won't try that shit again."
"Promise?" Your voice is strained with disbelief at being held to an impossible standard, and Katsuki rolls his eyes behind you, something else he knows you can't see.
"Fuck, I can't even get that? Fine. Give it your best shot then, at least. Fuckin' useless." Silence, for all that it is worth, fills the air between you for a moment as his hands find the pain in your back, and pull it apart. You open your mouth, and he hears the relief in your voice as he works another knot away.
"I can promise that." "Good." He wonders if you can hear the relief in his.
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babyfoxs-blog · 1 year
Text
RZ Michael Myers x patient reader
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reader is at Smith's Grove Warren County Sanitarium Michael is at and she is pushed around by the nurses and crys when yelled at.
Tw : abuse, abuse mentioned ( or implied) , Michael blames himself for leaving boo and thinks she is being hurt ( he wasn't told about his mom or boo ) , murder ( it is deserved) , swearing,
yes Michael sees us as a boo
I'm so sorry for any spelling or grammatical errors 💗
you had only been at Smith's Groves for 5 months and you had yet to make any friends.
you understood that it was a mental hospital and the chance of making friends were slim to none but you wanted to try anyway, your first two attempts went badly and ended with you getting a big black bruise on your right arm and lower cheek.
when you had confronted the nurses to ask for help with your bruises you were told to ' get over it ' and ' you should be thankful they didn't't kill you ' and never got any ointments, you had to learn that the nurses weren't going to be much help in those situations so you choose to keep to yourself to avoid getting hurt.
as much as you hatted being alone with only your therapist to talk to it was better than getting hurt, you hadn't know this before you were forced into smiths Grove but there were many criminals also seeking treatment here; you wish you were made aware of this factor, considering it would have changed your argument on why you shouldn't go to a mental institution.
but here you were sitting at your small desk drawing small useless drawing of cats and mice that your therapist would stupidly try and find a deeper meaning to.
as you began to draw your firth cat your door was aggressively opened and made a loud noise, scaring you and made you mess up.
you took a deep breath and looked at your now destroyed drawing, you hatted not being able to finish your drawings but you hatted getting yelled at for being late to breakfast more.
you slowly sat up knowing who was opening the door without even having to look , it was one of the nurses that was in charge of you.
you turned around and walked towards an strange face , one you hadn't met before.
you just have stoped walking towards him because the next thing you knew he was yelling.
" Jesus Christ, can you go any slower !" the man screamed as you quickly walked towards you and grabbed your arm and yanked you towards the door.
you weren't sure what was happening.
as soon as he yelled tears filled your eyes and you tried not to allow more tears to replace the ones already falling.
you my not be able to see well but you could feel the arm that grabbed you and yanked you out of your room.
you knew it was best not to resist, so you silently follow the man who still hasn't let you go.
he didn't let you go until you were sitting in your normal place at the small breakfast table.
" now just sit the fuck down and stop crying for god sakes, I didn't even do anything" he whisper yelled right next to your face.
than he was gone, he walked away leaving you crying at breakfast.
not long after that food was put in front of you, you had no appetite so you didn't move.
your head between your raised shoulders and your eyes stuck as a spot on the ground.
you managed to stop crying a little after breakfast was out on the table but your appetite remanded the same. so you didn't even bother picking up your stupid plastic cutlery.
if you were being honest you were fine with just staring at the spot on the floor forever if you were allowed to , but like most things you got comfort in it was taken away.
" why aren't you eating?" a female nurse asked you .
you knew this nurse, she was nice enough but still carried a attitude.
you lifted you head to meet her eyes and gave a small shrug not wanting to speak.
she rolled her eyes and took away the food.
you kept your head up now looking at everyone else talking to there friends or sitting quietly by myself, you eyes accidentally locked with a tall man sitting at a separate table with gards all around him.
he was wearing a blueish long cardigan and a white uniform like the rest of the patients.
looking at the tall man you suddenly become very aware of the fact you went wearing a bra and felt very exposed.
you returned to normal, your head below your shoulders and your eyes focused on a spot on the ground.
you're not sure how long breakfast went on for, but you do know that the male nurse was once again grabbing your arm and trying to pull you somewhere.
" are you my new nurse?" you quietly question, hoping he would say something along the lines of 'no' but lady luck wasn't on your side today.
" fucking hell! speak up bitch" he yelled and pushes you away from him, it didn't hurt but you started tearing up.
you quickly looked around trying to see if there were any nurses around to help you but there was only 3 gards around the big man.
you were quick to realize no one was going to help you .
though, that wasn't how Michael Myers saw this situation at all.
although Michael doesn't get angry often this made his blood boil .
he wasn't sure but in his eyes you were a exact same as little boo.
and he could just sit down and let someone that reminded him of boo get hurt again.
but for now he will just stay put, he's watching as you slowly get up and whisper a small ' sorry '.
" god sakes, if I knew any better I'd say you're scared of me ? you scared slut ?" the man says in a sarcastic voice.
you stay still
𝘔𝘪𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘦𝘭 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵.
Michael stands picking up one of his gards and throws him across the room.
'𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱 𝘣𝘰𝘰'
the other gards try and reach to there batons but don't get a chance before there also killed.
Michael slams one of there heads into a wall until he hears a cracking noice, he's not sure if it's the concrete or his skull;
and he doesn't care.
the other gard is thrown on to the ground were the man with a caved skull lays, there's another crack.
Michael looks up to you only to find you're looking into his eyes.
you tillt your head slightly.
the male nurse is trying to call for help on his wally talky which he keeps dropping; he's shaking so much he can't think anything in his hands.
as soon as Michael begins walking towards the two of you the nurse pushes you into Michal and runs of.
𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘩𝘦'
but Michael don't want you dead , no.
he catches you and carefuly moves your body onto chair.
Michael once again starts walking towards the stupid man.
the nurse was trying to open the door but he was blissfully unaware that it was locked.
all the doors were locked why Michael would get angry to attempt to lessen the number of dead.
the nurse was screaming and bashing on the door, not that it would do anything.
Michael grabbed the nurses arm and pulled him back dislocating his shoulder with a creck.
the nurse now on the floor tried to crawl away from the significantly larger man who had no intention of stopping.
Michael gave him no time to get away before he picked the nurse by his head and smashed it back into the hard concrete floor and repeated the motion.
all you could do was sit in horror as the sound of the cracks filled the room, the blood pooling at the nurses now caved in head only grew bigger and bigger.
you weren't sure when he died but you understood he stopped screaming at the second blow.
the screams re looped though your head , the only thing you could remember was the screams: they were ear piercing.
Michael picked up the un- recognizable head and pushed it down one more time before standing up.
Michael whipped his blood stained hands and walked towards you, you were not scared; not that you felt safe , but you were so drained you couldn't help not feeling anything at all.
he sat down next to your trembling body and put a significantly larger hand on your shoulder.
the guards came into the room ten minutes later, you and Michael hadn't moved an inch.
@slzshers
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quigonswife8 · 1 year
Text
Safe: Leon Kennedy x reader
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Leon finds you half-dead and gets you to safety || gif creds: @swiftsalad
Warnings: blood, injury, swearing, nearly dying, sadness.
Leon deserves so much happiness, like god I just wanna comfort him and I wanna tell him how proud I am of him.
If Capcom doesn't let him be happy, I swear to god, I will pay them a little visit.
------
The sun has long since disappeared, leaving the moon as it's replacement. It creates an eerier environment- as now it's harder to see those after you.
It's been ten minutes since you were severely injured. The blood only coats your clothes more, and you fear you will die in a matter of minutes.
It's hard to focus on anything. You feel woozy and damn near collapsing- that would mean being open to dying. Not that it would be your fault. It doesn't even hurt- your side, that is. All you feel is numbness, and the overwhelming feeling of wanting to fall asleep.
"No." slips from your lips. Keeping pressure on the wound which is practically useless, you try and walk faster. "...I...can't...give up."
-------
You feel the hard ground against your knees as you fall to them. Your vision is hazy- restricting your ability to see. Your eyes droop, as you feel the need to welcome sleep. As much as you want to go on, you realise it's futile.
This is it for you. You're going to die in the middle of nowhere, your body probably set on fire like that poor cop Leon had told you about. You lift your head, only for it to drop, and for your eyes to focus on the ground.
You were strong. You got this far, at least. Now you'll be able to die knowing that you fought, though that still doesn't make things any better. As you feel yourself begin to give in- as you feel yourself begin to succumb to your wound- he comes to mind.
Then you pass out.
------
"Are you sure they're..."
"They're alright." the 27 year old replies softly. He looks over his shoulder a moment, to look at the young girl behind him. She smiles softly at him, and then looks forward.
It's been a long night. The day started out fine, but just went downhill from there. He had, and then lost you, in a matter of minutes. You had come up with the idea to lead a group of villagers away to protect himself and Ashley.
Leon is extremely worried for you, more than he can even show, more than he could possibly describe. You’re his partner, that he cares for so much He would do anything for you, he loves you more than he’s ever loved anyone.
"They have to be this way..." his expression is replaced with one of panic- his hand falls off the gun in his holster. Leon glances over at Ash, and then looks forward again.
"Shit."
Then, he runs over to the body on the ground. "(y/n)!"
There's no response, of course. "(y/n)." he kneels down in front of you, immediately noticing how you're not awake. The air suddenly becomes still- his heartbeat goes from steady, to uneven. It's like someone has taken a jackhammer and smashed it into his chest.
"Oh no..." Ashley mutters, covering her mouth with a hand. Leon is more focused on you to form some sort of response to her. "I'm sorry." he mutters, then listening to your heartbeat. It's very weak, but it's there.
You're dying, and he needs to do something before it's too late- "okay", blinking away tears, Leon begins to rip up a piece of his shirt, which he proceeds to press to the wound he'd found.
Then he lifts you into his arms, and stands. "We have to get somewhere safe." praying that he's done enough for now, he looks over at Ashley, "let's go."
-
He paces the room, while Ashley watches. Leon hasn't stopped pacing since getting you to this safe house, and he got you there over an hour ago.
Ashley had insisted he take a break, but he'd insisted on just pacing.
"They'll be fine Leon." she comforts, pulling her attention from him, and focusing it on you. Her heart hurts to see you this way. She considers you a close friend despite only meeting that day, and you feel the same towards her.
Though if you weren't her friend, she would still feel sympathy.
"I've seen them survive worse in these past couple of hours."
"And worse in the past." he adds on, continuing to pace. "...there was a lot of blood." he looks over at you. "...I hope I did enough."
"You did." Ashley replies, making sure to emphasize her words. "...you're the reason they’re alive, Leon."
If Ashley has learnt anything over these past couple of hours, it's that Leon would do anything for the people he cares about. She can see how much he cares for you, and that he would go to the ends of the earth for you. If that's not love, she doesn't know what is.
"Thank you Ashley." he nods to her, "...but..." though, he pauses. He doesn't want to dwell on things that may panic him more. So? he just continues to pace and push those thoughts away.
----
A day passes, until you finally wake. It's a little cold and the pain in your side has eased up thankfully.
Welcoming in the room as you open your eyes, you glance around. The first person you see is Ashley- she's fast asleep against the uncomfortable looking chair on the other side of the room.
Then, you look down- your eyes land on the large makeshift bandage wrapped around your torso.
Finally you look around for Leon. He comes into view straightaway, and he's pacing. How long were you out for, you wonder, and how are you even...alive?
"How long was I out...?" your throat is hoarse, and dry. Propping yourself up on the bed you realise you're on, you keep an eye on Leon. Leon who stops, and looks over at you.
The expression on his face quickly changes, and it's like he's now looking at a ghost. "(y/n)?" your name feels distant on his tongue, if that makes any sense. His lips ghost over the words, his eyes widening slightly.
"Yep." you reply, smiling over at him. "...it's me."
You're alive. After a whole day of worrying, of staying by your side and making sure that you would stay safe, here you are, finally awake. He can barely contain the tears in his eyes- he doesn't like crying in front of people, and usually hides his emotions anyway, so he does try to hide the tears.
Leon walks over to you, immediately kneeling down in front of you. His hands quickly finds yours, and then he brings them to his lips to pepper soft kisses on them. Leon's eyes have softened considerably, those same eyes seem on the verge of tears.
Leon is desperate to keep you close- he doesn't outwardly admit it, but he's too scared to let you go. To leave your side. He fears something may happen if he does, that you may simply disappear...and he just can't lose you.
"I'm here." he mutters. "I'm here, sweetheart."
Words faltering, and the tears fall from his eyes and drip onto your hands. Leon quickly looks away not wanting you to see him cry, and in all honesty, he feels pathetic. He should be strong- that's who he is. He shouldn't be weak like this, he shouldn't cry.
"Leon, it’s okay to cry..."
You glance over at Ashley a moment, noticing she's still asleep. You wouldn't want to wake her yet, she deserves this sleep. You pull your eyes away from the sleeping girl to look at Leon again.
Leon doesn't answer, but you can tell he's trying to fight back the emotions. You know how he is with his emotions, and the reason why he doesn't show them as much as he used to. Ever since the nightmare that happened in Raccoon city;
-
He'd confided in you, told you everything that happened when you were apart. That night, when you both returned to your apartment as you were there in the city [he’d managed to call you to tell you what was happening, and you’d left to get to him], you had just held him.
You promised to him you'd never let go. He'd clung onto you, he'd sobbed in your arms, broken down, and you had nearly cried yourself. To only be 21 and have to go through what he did would break someone, no wonder it broke him.
He had fallen asleep in your arms that night, and you had still held him. Your fingers through his hair as a soothing mechanism for him. Leon had wanted a fresh start with you after that, and god how he could have...but of course a wrench had to be thrown into his plans.
The wrench being the stupid government. Leon was forced to become an agent for them- if he didn't then the young girl he had helped save, Sherry, would be killed. This only broke your heart more when he'd returned and told you.
The months following were hard for him, training he would never forget. He was forced to endure exercises that drained him, forced him to 'harden up', though he'd already hardened up since Raccon City, if he's being honest.
It felt like a daze when he'd told you everything; how he was assigned by the president to rescue his daughter, aka Ashley, from the Los Illuminados. He'd told you he would be gone for...he didn't even know how long.
That's when you put your foot down. You'd told Leon you would be going with him- screw the government. Leon had tried to force you to stay back, but you reminded him that you had survived through raccoon city looking for him, and you had done a pretty good job at handling yourself. "I'm not letting you go alone, Leon. You should have someone with you."
By some surprise, the government had let you go.
-
"Leon..." you repeat. "...please look at me, sweetheart." The 27 year old doesn't, at first. You decide to put a hand on his cheek, in hopes your touch will get his attention "...please."
You smile when he turns to look at you...your smile immediately falters though, and then disappears. Leon is in tears- he looks on the verge of sobbing.
The only other time you've seen him this distraught was that night. It breaks your heart. "I nearly..." he starts, but immediately drops his head. "...I thought I was going to..." scootching slightly forward, you take one of your hands out of his to move to his hair.
Slowly you run your fingers through his messy hair;
"...but i'm here Leon. I'm here with you." he's the reason you're there in the first place. Leon buries his face into the bed, but oh how he wants to bury it in your shirt. To hear the way your heartbeat goes on- the way it's steady. The way it let's him know that you're alive.
"...and i'm not going anywhere..." you press a soft kiss to his head "...thanks to you."
Leon doesn't answer, he simply keeps his head down, as he continues to fight back the need to sob. "I love you." you mutter, as you press another kiss to his head.
His "I love you too." is so quiet, but you still hear him. His hand is still in yours, and you don't make a movement to take your hand that’s in his, away. Just wanting to give your love, and your attention, you fall silent.
Then, just like that, you're taken back to that night. When you had held him in your arms not caring how long it would be for. How you comforted him and let him know how much you loved him.
Right now you just want him to know that you're there, cause like you said: you’re not going anywhere.
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justanamesstuff · 7 months
Text
Chapter 1
Seasons
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Matty Healy x f!reader
A/N: Hiii guys, I'm so nervous for this BUT very excited too!! I hope you like it <3
Warnings: swearing a bit?, typos maybe.
Word count: 3 K
MASTERLIST TAGLIST
Every season has its colours, has its smells, has its traditions. Like every season, this love has its particularities…
Around November of 2020, England
“Matty- Oh my god!!“ 
The constant banging on her wall and the high-pitched moaning at the other side woke Y/n up. Quickly, she took her pillow and placed it on top of her face, trying to muffle the horrible sounds reaching her ears. ‘God, is she having a good time? Or he’s killing her?’, the thought crossed the girl's mind. 
Most of the time they weren’t that loud, but during that morning they just seemed to not care.
It was useless, the sounds were getting louder and louder. Y/n couldn’t bear with it any more and knowing that even if they –luckily– stopped she wouldn’t come back to sleep. So, Y/n decided to go downstairs. Maybe one of the guys was making breakfast, which would help with the awful start of her day.
Her prayers weren’t heard. The kitchen was empty and no breakfast was made. She tried to cheer up a little, because Y/n needed to survive the day. To be honest, every day and morning it was getting harder and harder.
After a quiet but long sigh, Y/n started cooking for everyone. Nothing unusual since she tried to do it most of the mornings in exchange for their generosity letting her stay at the boys' studio –which was half Matty’s house as well. Spending the quarantine rent-free with them, listening how they recorded the new album and messing around was a true blessing if she tried to focus on the bright side of everything. 
Well, they kind of forced her because they were very against Y/n spending those months alone in her flat. The boys cared about the girl as a best friend and as a sister too. They were a bunch of drama queens most of the time, but deep down Y/n was enormously grateful with/for them.
Thinking about the first months, Y/n couldn’t deny those were amazing. The entire group spent a lot of quality time, doing the stupidest challenges, doing Instagram lives for the fans, watching a lot of movies, etc. Although everything took a turn when another person joined the party. When Nadia arrived.
It wasn’t like Y/n hated her, in fact, it was the opposite which created a big dilemma for her. Matty’s girlfriend was nice and the idea of having another girl was actually  comforting during the tough times. But Y/n wasn’t so fond of the situation for other reasons.
For a period –a very long one– if you asked her, she endured with it and put on her best –fake– happy face. Y/n’s acting talents were very handy at times. Although, her true feelings were still there, underneath the surface, where no one can notice them. Specially Matty.
 Time went by and the whole thing was making her more anxious, and although the idea of leaving crippled into her mind at every minute, she couldn’t really decide. Y/n didn’t want to leave but watching Matty 24/7 attached to the other girl’s side was taking the best of her mental health.
Y/n’s mind was running fast with thoughts while she cooked, which made her subconsciously ignore the tall man coming down after he heard movement downstairs. George watched his friend move around, knowing more than anyone in the house about her sorrows. George was probably the closest to her out of the four guys. He was the only one who knew all of her secrets and kept it secured as if it was his own.
The drummer stared at her, expecting for Y/n to notice him, but he acknowledged that the girl was in another dimension. She used to do that more than she liked to admit. George could bet ‘the morning moaning festival’ taking place half an hour prior was the main reason.
Y/n finished cooking a big amount of scrambled eggs and turned searching for a plate when she saw George standing in the partially lighted corridor. “Fuck G! You scared the shit out of me!” she exclaimed while resting a hand on her chest.
“Sorry!” the big man shrugged his shoulders. “Didn’t mean to scare you, love.” he apologized, approaching his best friend. “Good morning.” he greeted her properly, and she huffed.
“Good morning to you.” Y/n answered sarcastically after G placed a kiss on top of her head. 
“So, you heard, huh?”
“I can’t stand it any more, G.” she let him know. “It’s just a lot.” she continued, lowering her voice scared another of the boys could hear her.
“I know, love.” the drummer said with an apologetic expression. “But the lockdown is nearly over, and y’know none of us would like you to go.” G said as he searched for mugs.
“Why not? It’s my life, my freedom!” Y/n protested, starting to get annoyed. “It’s getting worse every day…” Y/n desperately moved her hands in the air trying to prove her point.
“Believe me… I know!” George searched for her eyes, keeping eye contact when Y/n looked back at him, waiting for his next words. “I’m not in your…situation, but I’m getting a little annoyed too.” G agreed with her.
“Yes, but it’s his house. He can do whatever he wants…”
“I half agree.” G nodded. “This might be his house, but it’s the place we choose as a studio, so for the time being its our place too…yours too!” George continued rambling, filling the mugs with hot water. “So, they need to stop with the noises.”
A comfortable silence fell between them until Y/n broke it again thinking out loud.
“What the hell can I do?” 
“About what?” A third voice came from the hallway. Matty made his entrance wearing a tired expression matching his gray sweatpants and plain shirt. He approached Y/n, leaving her a kiss on her right cheek. “What can you do about what, love?” he rephrased his question. 
“I- It’s nothing — Morning” she said without looking at him, instead walking towards the table bringing a mug with her.
“There must be something. You sounded worried.” Matty insisted.
“It’s something between Y/n and I, mate.” George said in a joking way, trying to distract him. “Something between best pals, you wouldn’t understand it.” he stated, rounding Y/n with his left arm meanwhile he winked at Matty taking a sip of his morning tea.
“Fuck off!” Matty protested. They usually have a competition about the title which Y/n find equally lame and cute. She easily felt the tension leaving her shoulders, relaxing thanks to their stupid discussion, knowing that for now Matty dropped his interrogation.
“Tell him, darling!” G urged her.
“It’s too early for this fight. Shut up and sit. I’ll bring the cutlery.” Y/n said, detaching herself from George. 
“Y/n is just too nice to tell ya, mate. She loves me more.” the singer continued joking, obviously unaware of the real implication of his words.
“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Matty.” George answered, sitting at his usual spot at the table.
“Who was the beautiful soul that made breakfast?” Ross entered the kitchen and stopped in his tracks, closing his eyes and inhaling dramatically.
“You know the answer.” John teased as he appeared from behind Ross. “You know you don’t have to, Y/n.” the musician approached her and helped with the forks and knives.
“Yes, for the hundred times…I know, John.” she looked at him. “But we all know that I would feel guilty since you all never let me pay for anything.”
“Because you don’t have to pay us, love.” Matty said from his place at the table with his sight fixed on his phone. He and the damn nicknames.
“But- “
“No but’s, Y/n. We’re happy to have you here!” Ross said as they all sat around the table.
They were serving breakfast when the conversation took another direction -something about the coronavirus and all of that. At the same time, the last resident of the house made her entrance.
Y/n sometimes envied her. Matty’s girlfriend always looked immaculate to a point that you could never think she just woke up. Y/n knew comparisons were wrong, but it was hard to avoid them. The girl felt awful: her hair was all tangled in a messy bun on the top of her head; only wearing an old t-shirt -from a not so famous band--and a pair of pyjamas short; and she was not wearing any makeup meanwhile she stuffed her breakfast on her face.
Nadia was all classy and perfect, the opposite of Y/n. Maybe that’s why he chose her and not his best friend. Y/n knew thinking like that was also wrong, yet again she couldn’t help it.
Y/n witnessed how Nadia greeted everyone and sat beside Matty, flashing him a cute smile he returned. They were in love, and it was obvious to everyone. Y/n was so happy for her best friend to find someone who loved him, although for many years she hoped that person would be her. For years, Y/n hoped Matty noticed her more than a mate.
When they first met, Y/n thought she felt a connection different from with anyone else in her life, although that changed quickly. Matty proved to her time and time again he didn’t want a relationship with her or nothing similar no matter how flirty he was during that first night. And Y/n forced herself her mind and heart to believe it.
Y/n was very unaware that, at the time she met the boys, Matty felt the same way she felt, but the old Matty didn’t want to lose the new friend he encountered. As another way to self sabotage himself, the young Matty did almost the impossible to show Y/n they were friends and just friends. A decision he took while being drunk became a life rule.
Since that moment, since that night, their relationship was kind of determinate. They were friends, the best friends. Not that night, but after a while, Y/n became part of the family and even Matty’s family –both sides– loved her as another member of their family. Y/n felt safe and loved, something she cherished so much since she hadn’t had that kind of love back home. Her family wasn’t like them, the opposite in fact.
For the longest time, Y/n tried to ditch her feeling for Matty. Every time a new girl showed up, tugged under his arm, Y/n decided it was the time to stop getting hurt and move on. Even though, her heart couldn’t do it. It hurt her. And with Nadia was the hardest since all of them could notice it was different, more mature…more serious. Nadia was more than a random girl for Matty and everyone was sure of that.
“Penny for your thoughts.” Matty interrupted Y/n’s inner monologue, staring at her, while his right arm was around Nadia.
“What?” Y/n answered, coming down to earth, with a question. 
“You were gone.” everyone was strangely in silence while they looked at each other.
“I was just thinking about the government lifting the restrictions. Meaning, now I can go home.” she half lied, while messing with the leftovers of her breakfast. Y/n did chat about it with G that morning anyway, and it was a reality Y/n needed to get away from the lovers for a time.
“I told her, none of us want that.” George interrupted their conversation.
“Of course not.” Jaime, who joined the breakfast table, said to her.
“I know, guys. But it’s been almost four months and I- This is not my- “
“Don’t finish that sentence.” Matty warned her, and she looked him directly in the eyes.
“It’s the truth, Matty.” she said, dropping her fork on the plate.
“It’s not, this is your house too, Y/n/n.” Ross, sweet Ross, reminded her. “At the same time, if you want to go back to your flat, I understand. We’ll miss your meals.” his comment made everyone chucked, except Matty who was studying every one of her movements. 
A weak smile was plastered on her face while she stared down towards her plate unable to make eye contact with Matty. “Don’t get me wrong. I love being here with you guys, but I need my space.”
“If this is about some couple…” Jaime looked at Matty and Nadia “Waking up the whole house.” he finished the sentenced winking like a cartoon.
“For fuck's sake.” Matty swore under his breath. “Is it about that?” he looked at Y/n.
“‘Course not!” she looked at him trying her hardest to hide her feelings.
“I wouldn’t blame you if that’s the reason. I’m sleeping on the other side of the house and I can listen to them. You’re right beside Matty’s room!” John emphatically said.
Before Matty could say a word, Y/n exclaimed, “It’s not about that, okay?” she simply lied. 
Y/n could sense George staring at her. “It’s what I said, I need my space, and it’s not like I’m going to disappear.” another white lie. Y/n was planning to do exactly that for a while until her wounds healed again. “You’ll still have to bear with me.” she finished her little speech.
“We can simply send the couple to your flat, and you can stay here in peace” Ross joked this time. All of them except for Matty laughed again.
“Stop with that, he will get angry.” Y/n defended Matty.
“I know it’s not my house either,” Nadia started saying. “If I can say something, I would like you to stay, Y/n.” she continued rather shyly. “It’s nice to have a girl around.” Of course, she was so nice. “I promised we’ll keep it down.” she looked quickly at Matty for reassurance and then again at her.
“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry you’ll have to survive with these boys, but I really need to go.” Y/n explained. “Another reason is the fact that I have to prepare to get back to work soon.”
“So, when did you start thinking about leaving? Since you apparently have a lot of reasons to leave.” Matty said with a strange expression on his face.
“Matty-”
“Are you that eager to leave?” ‘He was pissed?’, Y/n thought. 
“Matty- “she protested, not knowing what else to say.  
“No, it’s okay. I get it! You want to leave, it’s okay.” he stood up from his seat gathering the plates to wash them.
“Matty!” Y/n said again.
“It’s fine, Y/n!” he said more sternly, obviously not fine with the situation. 
The rest of the group –included Nadia–, took that as a cue to leave the friends so they could talk. They made stupid excuses, leaving Matty and Y/n alone in the kitchen.
Matty went to the sink, beginning to wash the dishes. After letting a big breath out, Y/n stood up approaching where he was standing.
“Why are you so angry?” she asked him, folding her arms, standing beside Matty looking at his profile. Matty was stroking the plates with more force than needed for the task in hand.
“I’m not. I said that I got it, and it’s fine.” he answered.
“You’re obviously not fine, Matthew.”
“Do you want to know how am I? Perfect.” he stated, turning the water off and drying his hand with a cloth while he turned to look at her. “I really don’t get it why you want to leave so suddenly.”
“It’s not that I want to- “another big lie. She wanted to, she needed to.
“Bullshit!”
Y/n tried to defend herself, “I’m not going to disappear…”
“Bullshit!”
“Can you stop that?” Y/n stood directly in front of Matty. 
“I know you’re going to disappear. I know you. We’re best friends and something is bothering you, I can tell. It hurts that you’re not telling me anything and I fucking bet you told George already.” She couldn’t tell him the truth.
“Is this more about that competition?” Y/n tried to distract him.
“Yes- No- Of course, not- This is about you and me.” Matty said, melting her heart a little. He was obviously troubled with the idea of Y/n leaving.
“Matty, there is nothing…mayor going on. Trust me. I need silence. You said it, you know me. I crave my space…alone.” she told him sweeter this time.
“Yes, I know. But you can find somewhere here-“
“You know that’s a lie.” ‘What a hypocrite I am’, Y/n thought. 
“I know.”
“You aren’t gonna miss me. You have the boy and Nadia- “she moved uncomfortably in her place.
“It’s not the same, you’re my best friend. I’ll miss you, darling.” Matty looked at her with his best doggy eyes.
“Don’t!” Y/n pointed a finger at him.
“What?” he played dumb.
“Don’t give me puppy eyes, it won’t work.” she smiled this time.
“Shit, are you so certain about it?” he looked down, defeated.
“Yes.” Y/n simply said.
“Okay, I understand. You can go.”
“Thanks for your permission that I didn’t ask for.” Y/n tried to joke.
“But- “ he ignored her.
“But?”
“But promise me that you are not going to disappear for too long.” he said, staring directly into her eyes.
“I promise.” Y/n said way too quickly. After a couple of seconds, she had to look elsewhere.
“Can we hug?” he said very slowly. 
Y/n chuckled, placing her arms around his shoulders, at the same time Matty placed his on her waist.
“I love you.” Matty mumbled on her left shoulder.
“I love you too, Matty.” Y/n said, feeling it from the deepest of her heart. There lied the difference. 
Maybe, she couldn’t love anyone like she loved Matty, even though she had to try for the good of their relationship. 
-------------------------------------------------
Taglist: @hollybrislen
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judysxnd · 5 months
Note
Heyyy
I have an idea for pedro and reader I just saw TSITP.
they are fighting and mad at each other she gets drunk and go to the beach. Pedro comes and drags her in the house taking by his hand
I haven't seen the show so I hope it's approximately what you expected!
———————————————————————————
You were sitting on the table, waiting for Pedro to come home. You've been waiting for him for a couple of hours now. The night had settled, and you were supposed to be walking down the street to a restaurant for your date night. But someone forgot about you, again. You were all dressed up, swinging your legs, your arms crossed. You sitting in the dark, as the full moon was the only thing lighting the room.
It was past 9pm, and no one was home yet. You sent at least a hundred of texts, tried to call him, but nothing. If he was still working on set you knew it would be pretty useless to try and reach him because his phone was either on silent, airplane mode or turned off. It always pissed you off. What if something happened to you? No one could reach him. As each minute passed by you were getting angrier and angrier and the bottle of wine was getting emptier and emptier. You were feeling so hot and a bit dizzy. But he finally came back. At almost 10pm. He came back.
"Oh there you are" you sarcastically said as he turned the light on, turning his head towards you
"Baby I'm sorry"
"Nope I don't want to hear about it" You got up from the table, standing still for a minute as the alcohol made you woozy for a sec. "I've been waiting for you for hours!" you almost yelled
"Sorry I was working" he said taking his coat off
"Did you even remember that we were supposed to go out tonight?" His eyes widened "I swear to god" you said walking to your bedroom.
"I didn't do it on purpose cariño!"
"Of course you didn't, you never do anything on purpose!" you yelled, grabbing some clothes more comfortable to change into
"What is that supposed to mean?" he asked, leaning against the door behind you “are you drunk?”
"You always forget about me, you spend your time working" you stopped “and I just drank the bottle of wine, you know.. the one we were supposed to drink together after our date!” You stared at him
"Well I'm sorry I have a job that requires working a lot" you fully turned around, facing him, shocked by what he just said
"Because I don't? Because spending hours, entire nights writing, editing, filming, this is not enough for you?" you said as you walked closer to him “this is not enough for mister Peedroo?” You added, your drunken mind starting to make you even more mad
"You know this is not what I meant"
"I don't care Pedro. You could at least text me or call me, which is what I've been trying to do all night, but I bet your phone was off?"
"Yeah I'm sorry, it was on silent"
"Yeah as usual!" you said, changing in front of him
"What are you doing?" He asked, looking at you moving quickly to get changed
"Well I'm changing into something more comfortable since we won't go out tonight"
"We can still go out"
"At 10pm? I'm freaking hungry. I’m drunk as hell because I haven’t eaten a thing, I don't want to wait another hour for my food! Oh my god you're impossible!" You said going back to the living room, Pedro close behind you
"It's better than nothing!" You gasped, looking at him
"I can't do this" you said, grabbing your jacket and leaving your shared apartment. You didn't leave time for Pedro to say something. You need to get out of here, you were too upset (and definitely too drunk) to have a rational conversation with him. Things were already getting bad, you were already starting to say things that shouldn't be said, so it was better to leave in order to calm down.
But as you left, you were still extremely hungry. Pedro probably ate something on set, but you didn't. Time passed and you didn't move, hoping he would come home and you could eat together. So now you were thinking what to eat. You needed something fast, so you walked to the nearest McDonalds, ordered your food, and walked to the only place where you knew you would calm down, the beach.
Living in L.A. had some good sides, meaning the beach wasn't far from your apartment. In ten minutes you were there. You always loved the beach, it was one of the reason you stayed here rather than somewhere else. It always calmed you down, the sound of the waves, the feeling of the sand under your feet, the smell, everything was different and so calm, the opposite of the city you were living in.
You took your jacket and put it on the sand, not far from the water, and sat on it. You took the smell in, setting the blanket on the sand, sitting next to your food. You didn't even realise when you calmed down, but the soothing sound of the waves and finally eating made everything better.
Now that your stomach was full, you could finally think normally. The alcohol seemed to have reduced a bit. You weren’t feeling dizzy nor anything else anymore. But you couldn't help but smile. Even at night the view was beautiful. After finishing your burger and fries, you also ordered a sundae. You were eating it quietly, when you heard footsteps getting closer to you. You decided to ignore it, it was probably someone just passing by.
"There you are" Pedro's voice startled you, making you jump a little "I've been looking for you everywhere"
"You remembered I existed I'm surprised" you sarcastically said, not looking at him, still eating your ice cream. The alcohol wasn’t totally gone. He sighed.
"I'm sorry" he said
"It doesn't change the fact that it happened and that it keeps happening" you said dryly, taking another spoon of ice cream.
"I'm working a lot so that we finish early so that I can spend more time with you"
"It's doing the opposite right now though"
"Get up" he suddenly said
"What? I'm not moving" you finally looked at him
"I said get up" he said in a lower voice.
"No" he saw you weren't moving, so he started to grab the jacket you were sitting on, forcing you to get up. "What are you doing!" you yelled, stepping back, looking at Pedro folding the jacket and grabbing the empty bag where your food was.
"Let's go" he motioned for you to get moving. You frowned
"I'm not finished"
"You can finish the ice cream on the way home"
"No!" you blurted. Pedro stepped closer to you, grabbing your hand and dragged you away from the beach. "What are you doing? Let go of me!" He finally let go of you once you were on the parking lot. "What was that about?"
"I can accept the attitude, but I won't let you run away from me" you frowned once more, rolling your eyes. "I did something bad, we talk about it, but you don't get to leave me especially in the middle of the night, alone!" He kept talking. He was right though. "So you finish your ice cream, you get in the car and we go home and talk. Deal?" You sighed
"Deal" you finally said. He held his hand out, waiting for you to shake it. "Seriously?" He moved closer to you. You sighed, shaking his hand. He took the opportunity to pull you into a hug. He held you tight, kissing your head. You gave in, holding him too. "I need to finish my ice cream" you said, breaking the silence. He stepped back, smiling when he saw you were also smiling a bit.
Once you were done, you stepped in his car, where he was waiting for you. The ride was silent, but not a bad one. You were not anticipating the conversation, you both calmed down, so you knew it would be okay.
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