#and Kurt realizes it’s Blaine and Rachel

[blurglesmurfklaine]

I AM ONCE AGAIN THINKING ABUT SERIAL KILLER AU AHHHH

[salmonskinrolltf]

this is soooo embarrassing. I can’t believe I’m even typing it out. But dude, I’ve been a gaymer for as long as I remember. I’m 30 pounds too heavy. I’m 27 and living. With too many roommates in the suburbs. And well. I’ve been watching Glee lately. And I just got to the season around college and I was hoping I could rent some tapes. See, I’ve got this major crush on Darren’s character Blaine and itd be awesome to always be singing and dancing and having fun. I was never a theatre kid myself. Any chance you can help?

Almost like a miracle, right when you considered ordering a tape from Be Kind Rewind, one of your roommates got a VCR. You suppose. You’re not sure which one of them actually got it, but it’s right there, plugged into the TV in your living room, so someone must have. The only thing is, you’ve had to wait until everyone was out to use it. You double check that the door is locked and everybody is out for the evening. You’re embarrassed to be seen watching the show, but you’re embarrassed for another reason tonight, too. Because renting this tape feels like a special occasion, you’ve decided to cosplay as Blaine a little bit. Your hair is neatly slicked back and you’ve donned a cardigan and bow tie to match his put-together preppy look.

When you’re certain the coast is clear, you open the (thankfully discretely marked) package and a die rolls out into your hand. Oh yeah. The die thing. Weird. You toss it onto the coffee table and it lands on 4.

When the VCR whirs to life, you hear those a cappella credit trills that indicate whatever episode that was playing has already ended, so you jab the rewind button, humming the music quietly to yourself. You scratch your stomach and realize the fabric of your cardigan is much looser than it should be. You lift it up and see that your stomach has shrunk, flattening against your torso, which seems firmer and more lithe in general.

Stunned, you gaze at yourself in the nearest mirror, noticing how the new outfit looks even more Blaine-like after your bizarre transformation. In fact, everything is looking more Blaine-like. Your eyebrows thicken and darken, your slicked-back hair darkening along with them. As your lips plump up and your skin tans slightly, you realize you look like a total Blaine doppelganger. Your dick hardens in the thrift store pants you bought to match the overall preppy look. You look just like your crush! You’re not even questioning it, you just figure you must be dreaming or something. But even if you’re only dreaming, why let the opportunity pass you by to admire yourself more… privately?

In a daze, you wander into the bathroom. Instead of the pigsty it normally is, living with so many roommates, it looks neat and tidy. Tubs of hair gel neatly line the sides of the sink, and the mirror is decorated with playbills, a photo of Blaine and Kurt, and a bumper sticker for a local Lima, Ohio radio station. Not only do you look exactly like Blaine, you’re now in what seems to be his bathroom! You admire yourself in the mirror.

A thrill of excitement thrums through you and you unzip your pants, rubbing yourself at the thought of looking just like your crush.

As you pleasure yourself, you think about the various Glee characters you have the biggest crushes on. Could you use this VHS service to become them all? The thought makes you even more aroused. However, when Blaine returns to your mind, your dick deflates. Suddenly it feels wrong to be thinking about him. You try to cycle back through the other characters in your mind, but suddenly only the female ones come to mind. Brittany, Quinn, even Rachel. Your dick springs back to full hardness and you panic at the sudden shift in your sex drive. You shove your erection back into your pants but not before cum explodes into the sink. You hurriedly wipe it up with some toilet paper.

What the hell is going on? As you scrub, you don’t notice that the gel is slowly easing out of your hair, which curls and falls over your face in a more lackadaisical, unkempt fashion. Stubble sprouts from your cheeks, chin, and upper lip, slowly growing into a short beard. Your clothes morph from your preppy ensemble into more of a rocker vibe, your shredded T-shirt dipping into a V-neck that exposes the dark, matted chest hair that has been busy unfurling across your newly taut torso. 

Right when you flush the balled-up wad of TP, a voice interrupts your panic.

“What the hell are you doing in my bathroom?”

You turn to the doorway and see Blaine Anderson standing there. Wait, that can’t be. Weren’t you just him? You turn to look at yourself in the mirror and see a much more rugged, sloppy individual than the person you were just a moment before. You look like Blaine, but… different. Older, somehow. And more unkempt, definitely.

This intruder, on the other hand, looks exactly like Blaine. He also looks annoyed. He taps his toe and runs a hand across his impeccably coiffed hair. “This is why I asked Mom for my own bathroom, so I wouldn’t have to wait for you all the time. How is it that I use 12 hair products a day and you still take longer than I do for everything?”

You’re too shocked to say anything. You’re unsure whether you’re more shocked by the words he’s saying or the fact that Blaine is standing just feet away and you feel nothing about it whatsoever. As your brain sputters, your body kicks into autopilot and you shrug.

“The gays haven’t cornered the market on looking good just yet, little bro,” you chuckle, punching his arm as you head back out into the hallway, which now looks like one that belongs in a pristine suburban home. 

As you head back into your room, you notice that it looks entirely different. No game consoles in sight, just laundry strewn everywhere and a mini basketball hoop on the back of the doorway. You absent-mindedly toss a NERF basketball toward the hoop and it hits the rim, flying back in your direction and smacking you in the face, knocking you back onto the unkempt mattress that’s on the floor without a bed frame.

You groggily open your eyes and look around. Where the hell are you? Who the hell are you? You rack your brains. Oh yeah. David Anderson. Eldest son of one of the lamest families on the planet, smack dab in the middle of Buttfuck, Ohio. You scratch your hairy chest underneath your T-shirt and check the time.

You remember you have plans to grab some brews with the boys this evening before seeing the latest movie starring that hot actress you like, so you’d better head out quick so you can hit up the gym beforehand. You throw on your gym clothes, grab your water bottle, and rush out the door.

As you pass by your little bro’s room, you see him singing along to a Mariah Carey tune and practicing his dance moves. You roll your eyes good-naturedly. Singing and dancing aren’t for you, but you appreciate how into it he is. You figure that, for him, singing and dancing brings him the same joy that going to the gym and playing ball with your bros does for you. You leap up to smack the top of the door frame as you head outside, barely giving Blaine another thought as you walk down the street, anticipating the awesome evening ahead of you.

[waitformethistime]

Alternate s2 where Kurt and Sam kiss during 'Spin the Bottle' at Rachel's party (Blaine and Rachel still happens), but now Sam has to deal with the fact that he liked it a little too much and realize that maybe his hurt at Kurt pushing him away in 'Duets' had something more behind it.

Meanwhile, Kurt (who's self esteem is already in the pits) has to deal with the fact that even the one out gay dude he knows would rather attempt to date a girl than him and that stings quite a lot (wish we'd delved into that more), but also had his second kiss with a dude be Sam and he'd be lying if he said he hadn't imagined it at some point before that party.

Sam does try to ask him out because of the party. "idk if I'm gay but the kiss felt really nice" but Kurt kinda freaks out a little because it's all just too similar to what's going on with Blaine ("You were drunk, Sam, of course it felt good.") and he's just so frustrated because it seems like no one is taking him seriously and unlike Blaine and Sam, he doesn't get the luxury of holding hands with a girl like a normal guy and having people believe it. it's not a game to him.

It's not until shit hits the fan in Rumours and Sam gets inadvertently outed by the Muckracker that Sam's like "look I'm stone cold sober now, it's been months since that party, and I really want you to give me a chance" because he's basically been dragged along with everyone else's bidding the whole year and he didn't even get to process his own sexuality before everyone treated him like the town pariah so he might as well just do what he wants at this point.

And what he wants is Kurt.

And they live happily ever after, amen.

(Also, Kurt never gets with Blaine because after Rachelgate, he realized he loved the idea of Blaine more than the boy himself and rejects him later.)

[klaineccfanficlibrary]

hii do you have any fics where kurt has to fight for / woo blaine after a fight/breakup/conflict ?

HI - we have so many great reconciliation or reunion fics that have been written. I can't always remember which are Kurt trying to woo back Blaine, but here are some examples which I hope are what you are looking for. ~Jen

Passed down like folk songs by dizzywhizz

A story of Kurt growing up, meeting his best friend and losing him and finding him again, discovering himself in the process.

~~~~~

A Song For Cordelia by MelissaMotown   [PDF]  [EPUB]

Kurt never called Blaine after the break up, despite Isabelle’s advice. It was not out of spite, or because he didn’t believe she was right, but because his heart didn’t know how to forgive. Five years later, when their paths cross once more, Kurt and Blaine decides to be friends again - just friends. But where the heart goes, the man follows…

Part Two: One of the Good Guys  [PDF]  [EPUB]

Part Three: Carry Me Home (never completed) [PDF]  [EPUB]

~~~~~

A Week in the Hamptons by Afvampd Read at:  [PDF]  [EPUB]

Faced with a “live or die” situation in his career, Kurt Hummel, a small fashion designer in New York City, decides to take a breather and escape the city for a week in a retreat organized by his best friend. Thinking he has left his nightmare behind, he heads to Southampton, but what awaits him there is a far bigger nightmare; the love of his life who broke his heart 6 years ago. One week stuck in the same house, will Kurt regret having left the city, or is this nightmare really a blessing in disguise?

~~~~~

The Luckiest by wordplay  

Blaine broke Kurt’s heart 3 months before high school graduation. Now, four years later, their group of friends reunites at a lake house to marry off two of their own. With luck, Kurt and Blaine will also be able to finally mend something that’s stayed broken for far too long.

~~~~~

Someone Like You by @iconicklaine

Kurt and Blaine keep up their very own version of “When Harry Met Sally” for years, a friendship fraught with sexual tension and longing, until the agendas of Adele (yes, THE Adele), a bored NY socialite and a super-sweet hetero couple bring our boys together. The only problem is… they’re both in committed relationships.

~~~~~

It’s A Wonderful Life by  DireDyre

Kurt never forgave Blaine for cheating, they never got back together, they moved on, married other people, started other families but ten-years-later when Rachel invites them to a party they realize they never moved on at all.

~~~~~

Since Sense Sensory by @gleefulpoppet

One rainy night, nestled at a patio table of a small café, Kurt broke off his engagement with Blaine in a moment of heated frustration that had been building for weeks. That was 12 years ago, and they haven’t seen each other since. Suddenly, they may find themselves reunited in a place they never expected. If you had a second chance with your first love, would you take it?

~~~~~

Stick Season by BlurglesmurfKlaine @jinglejavey

After Finn dies, Kurt leaves everything he knows behind without a trace. His hometown, his family, his boyfriend. When his dad has a medical scare, he returns to Lima, one year after breaking Blaine’s heart with no explanation.

A non-chronological series of one shots and drabbles set in this universe. Based on the Stick Season album by Noah Kahan

~~~~~

With Every Broken Bone by @spaceorphan18

After finding that living together is proving to be too difficult, Kurt Hummel breaks off his engagement, and finds himself alone in the city that summer. As his life heads in a new direction, Kurt's forced to look back at the past, and re-examine his future, where he learns a little about himself, a lot about love, and that second chances are always a possibility.

Set at the end of season 5, a canon-compliant story that examines the question -- What was Kurt's journey between season 5 and season 6?

~~~~~

Hush, Hush The world is Quiet by starsandcologne

AU Prompt: “Have you noticed how exhausting it’s been ever since you moved back in?” Blaine’s ears rang. But instead of reacting in anger that night he just quietly apologies to Kurt ending the argument. After that Blaine becomes a virtual ghost in their apartment. Its not that hard considering he’s had plenty of practice growing up. It just hurts that his Dad was right all along about him being a nuisance. Luckily he knows how to fix it. Live by the motto “Don’t be seen, don’t be heard.”

~~~~~

Reprise by  Calliope_Melpomene  Read at:  [PDF]

  During Kurt’s senior year at NYADA, a life-changing event causes him to take a leave of absence and what was supposed to be a short stay turns into years. His life certainly isn’t what he expected, but he’s not exactly unhappy. His name is not lit up in lights on Broadway, but he’s involved in community theater and LGBTQ groups in Columbus and has friends who love him and casual lovers. But turning 35 has made him restless and he’s longing for the life he had before. Burt talks him into taking some classes at Ohio State University to finish his degree and start focusing on himself again. What Kurt finds on the OSU campus is much more than he bargained for.

[spaceorphan18]

You may have answered this a hundred times before, if so, point me to your previous answers! How would you have improved Kurt’s story in canon? What are the major things you would have changed, and some of the niggles and minor things that drive you mad?

Hi! You know - I don't mind getting these kinds of questions again. My answers tend to change as the years pass.

I'm not sure if there's anything major I'd change? I don't mind the overall structure of his story (@snarkyhag - omg, I used the word 'structure' for the first time in forever, feels nice, lol.) But Glee has very jaggedy story telling, in that it does highs and lows but doesn't do details or in-betweens very well.

I think his arcs in Season 1 and 2 are pretty well done, and despite me always wanting /more/ - the show was about an ensemble, and he did relatively well. I really have no complaints there.

In Season 3, I would have liked his story to be less attached to Rachel and more on an individual path. Everything that happens in his story line (that isn't related to Blaine) is a consequence or set up of Rachel's story line, and it's maddening. I don't mind that he doesn't get into NYADA -- I wish he would have stayed out, tbh, but the narrative around him getting or not getting in should have been devoid of what Rachel's story needed to be.

I also wish he and Blaine had had more intimate moments -- I don't mean, necessarily, kissing/sex/romance -- but more moments where the two of them are just them together, in a more relaxed way. Hard to do in a school setting, sure, but things like the missing Box Scene from the Christmas episode sprinkled in more often would have been nice.

Of course - I would have loved so much more in Season 4. More fall out from the Break Up. More of Kurt exploring New York City. It would have been nice to see Adam developed as a real relationship for Kurt. Just seeing more of how he felt, and how he was struggling with moving, and being in a new city, and leaving friends and family, and missing Blaine, etc, etc. There's such a rich story there -- but the show, ultimately, was about a high school glee club, not up and coming college kids, and of course, Kurt's story still ended up tied in to Rachel's. (Of course - on the flip side Season 4 gives us such rich material to fanfic around -- so much good fic arose out of this era.)

Season 5 is hard to articulate - there is such a complex variety of things going on - with Finn's Death, the engagement, and all of Rachel and Santana. I wish Kurt would have more of his own individual story line. I know he got the band and Elliott - but what does he really want to do with his life? Again, I do wish we had Glee - the College Years for the full season.

I love the NYC arc - and the exploration of the Klaine dynamic, but I would have seen more the highs there, too. I realize TV needs conflict, and the writers knew where they were going with the story, but I don't think the June story line necessarily worked now that I'm this far out, and I would have liked to see them more navigate the ins and outs of a relationship.

Season 6 I would change less than you think. My biggest thing is that I'd rewrite the entire Klaine part of the Wedding episode. Kurt needs a catalyst (probably the one thing that still bugs me the most) to run back - the writing is just awkward.

But also - Kurt and Blaine don't get a single, private conversation between getting back together and the locker scene in Dreams Come True. I realize it's more about the show winding down - and that scene is essentially their 'happily ever after' moment, but it would have been nice for the show let Kurt (and Blaine) reflect on marriage and taking that next step. But also, having a conversation about how their lives are moving forward when back in New York.

The epilogue was nice, but I would have moved it farther than five years -- and I'm somewhat indifferent about them having kids, but twenty-six feels young for them being dads.

Idk, those are the major things. There are episode to episode minor-ish things, too, I guess. Like why did Kurt give back the tape in Michael? Why did he have to be a jerk to Quinn in On My Way? Stuff like that where I don't agree on the writers' charactierizations.

Thanks for the question, Nonny! It was nice to get back into writing meta!

[justawanderer]

Mike Change follows his friends to NYC for university-NYU Pre-Med with a shit ton of dance classes because his parents never said anything about a minor in the arts, only that he was expected to go to med school.

He has a solid support system in his glee friends but doesn’t mind branching out and is kinda excited to not be in Lima and to lean into who he is-he starts wearing the clothes he’s always wanted to wear, ones he bought on a secret shopping spree with Kurt on a summer steal away trip to Colombus their last spring break at home.

He lets Blaine talk him into a helix piercing when Blaine gets an earring and he loves having a family in New York.

A bunch of his dance class mates comment on it when he starts eating lunch with them. He feels a weird twinge in his chest when he notices half the compliments come from his fellow male dancers and realizes he doesn’t mind their attention.

But he also starts hanging out with an international students exchange club and meets Raphael and Ragnor and Catarina. He loves his glee friends but he’s starting to feel seen as his own person. Something that had been impossible in Lima and in HS.

He starts a study group with the beautiful Izzy in his Biology and Chem classes and becomes fast friends with her. He lets her do his make up and finds a thrilling sort of inner peace when he sees himself in eyeliner. She gushes and complains that her big brother would never let her do this.

He meets said big brother-a pre law giant of man (seriously taller than Finn!)- who glares at everything that’s not his sister, but smiles at Mike when he asks about the man’s archery medals. (Who the fuck is on an Olympic team and Doesn’t brag about it?!) Mikes chest twinges again and he tells himself it’s because Alec is the type of guy friend he’s always wanted.

He wakes himself up one Friday morning, sheets a damp mess with hazy memories of his dream but possibly Alec’s name on his lips. He shakes himself out of it and lets a pretty blonde ballerina from class push him into an empty bedroom at the party he attends that night.

He spends the next few weeks with all the various girls he dances with.

He spends an equal amount of Wednesday’s studying with Alec at a coffee shop-But! They both have that time free and they both like coffee and Mike’s never really made his own friends, they always adopt him, not the other way around! So that’s why he’s always so excited to see Alec.

It’s getting harder to lie to himself when the bottle he spins at the next party he’s at lands on a ginger ROTC guy named George. They make out to the cheers of the other partiers and Mike spends the night drunkenly telling himself that kissing is just an enjoyable thing. He spends the next morning soberly googling if a kiss makes you gay.

A couple more weeks, a couple more weekends spent with the dance girls, until Rachel and Kurt throw a NYADA midterms party and he only had a half a beer but let’s Kurt’s friend Imasu blow him in the bathroom. He tries to talk it away like the kiss-it feels good no matter who it is-until he’s on his knees reciprocating and finds he likes it as much as any other part of sex.

He skips that Wednesday with Alec and can’t explain why the “Hope you’re okay” text makes him ache when he ignores it.

He shuts down on himself, only hangs out with his known friends and throws himself into a short lived relationship with the blonde ballerina to try and keep himself “on track” when he walks in on her and their teacher. He wasn’t in love with her, but it does hurt and he definitely doesn’t want to be involved with whatever shit is going to hit the fan when the administration finds out about her.

He spends Halloween half drunk, crying and spilling all of this to Kurt and Blaine. They sit with him, cuddle him, drink with him. And they’re there with him when he finally says out loud that he’s Bisexual. They celebrate at 4 am with pancakes at the local all night diner.

He rejoins study group and explains himself to an icy Izzy who thaws and sends him a blinding smile and wraps him in a big hug.

Ragnor didn’t know that he didn’t know that he was bi but bucks him on the shoulder in solidarity. Cat hugs him and welcomes him back. Raphael tells him he doesn’t care as long as he doesn’t have to see any sappy shit.

On Wednesday he gets to their table early and buys Alec his stupid sweet caramel latte as an apology. He awkwardly stutters out an explanation and even more awkwardly comes out to the then man who is watching him with wide owlish eyes. Alec grins at him when he’s done and quietly comes out to Mike himself and if his whole being light up on the inside, then that’s Mike business alone.

He goes home at Thanksgiving and comes out to his family. He sister hugs him. His mom smiles kindly at him, but his father yells in a tone Mike’s never heard before. It’s ugly, it’s horribly painful and Mikes ready to get up and leave after his father vows to cut him off when his mother stands up for him. He leaves Lima with a hug from his mom and sister but totally disowned by his dad.

His mom’s parents step up to cover his expenses and tell him they don’t care who he loves and long as he’s successful and happy-San Francisco is good for them. He’ll keep his pre-med for now-he likes the idea of providing healthcare to those in need, but declare dance a double major to keep his options totally open.

He goes back to NYU and his friends and they mourn with him and rage with him and are there on his birthday when he moves to change his name in court so he doesn’t have to be tied to a man who hates him. (if his father wanted resort to Latin for insulting him, then he’s going to own that)

At the new year’s party he throws celebrating his new name and identity-he introduces himself as Magnus Bane and is greeted with an eager Alec grabbing him by the lapels of his jacket and kissing him In front of the whole party.

He walks into the new year a new man with an extended family he wouldn’t trade for anything and love he never saw coming.

[look-how-they-massacred-them]

Preliminary Poll

Kurt Hummel

Submission reason:

Forgot all their personality from first seasons and made to bend backwards to accommodate their abusive boyfriend in the name of true love

Okay okay okay. So Kurt had this problem of being the fan favorite for the most part but not the "official" "lead" of the show. /That/ was Rachael berry who is as much of a primadonna as Lea Michelle herself is and the absolute worst. Kurt was constantly being overshone by Rachael, and not just because Rachael would throw herself into the spot light, but by the writers themselves. The first big Kurt storyline in the show is in an episode called Laryngitis and it is both the shows best and worst episode. Kurt's storyline is this lovely arc of him feeling neglected by his dad while he does manly things with Kurt's soon to be step brother Finn and so Kurt starts to act straight to try and get his dad's attention. He dresses like his dad, sings a favorite song of his dad's, makes out with a girl. When his dad realizes what is happening they have this beautiful heart to heart where Burt tells Kurt that his only job is to be himself and Burt's job is to love him. It's stunning, it's gorgeous, it's incredible. At the same time! Rachael gets laryngitis and she loses her voice and she is freaking out over it never coming back and to comfort her, Finn takes her to see a friend of his who is paralyzed from the neck down to show her that other people have it worse. And it's terrible. And you have to sit through that atrocity while Kurt is having this lovely and heartfelt storyline. Okay, so there's also this running theme throughout the show that any time Rachael is upset Kurt must comfort her, even if he has good news in his life and if Rachael is happy Kurt must be happy for her even if he's feeling awful but they never make Rachael do the same. Key moments where this happened are when Kurt got moved into the finals to get into college and Rachael didn't it was all about her but when Rachael bullied her way into getting into college anyways and Kurt didn't make it... It was /still/ all about Rachael. Rachael ruined her own career by being an idiot and Kurt broke off his engagement around the same time and yet Noone gave a shit about Kurt's pain, only about poor little Rachael. And they made him participate in the cheer Rachael up party and had a different character (who is known to hate Rachael most of the time, except when Kurt decides he's fed up with her too) bitch him out about it and completely tear him down for being sad and not being in the "let's make Rachael happy train". Kurt gets his first boyfriend and they get to sing a duet together at the competition and do you know what song they sing? A breakup song that is representative of Rachel and Finns relationship at the time. And they do that more than once. Multiple times Kurt and his boyfriend Blaine sing songs that are about Rachael and so often don't sing songs about them. And when he and Blaine eventually have a kid, guess who the surrogate is because everything must be about Rachel berry at all times, even Kurt's own child. Kurt's storylines we're constantly getting nuked in one way or another because they would have allowed him to shine as bright as he was and that would cast a shadow over Rachael and it wasn't allowed.

Propaganda:

Sorry if I screamed too much, I'm very passionate about Kurt Hummel and how he deserved more than he got.

[yourstreetserenade]

Can someone please write a Barbie!Brittana AU?

I plan to see Barbie next weekend but I've read tidbits about the movie. For instance, the fact that every Barbie in Barbieland is controlled by a real world child playing with it. Of course my brain went there but like how cute would a Barbie!Brittana AU be?

Like: Barbie Brittany and Barbie Santana are just living their lives in Barbieland (along with Barbie Tina, Barbie Mercedes, Barbie Quinn and that annoying Barbie Rachel that all the other Barbies just sorta tolerate) and there are plenty of Kens around. There's Ken Sam and Ken Finn and Ken Puck and etc.

But over time Barbie Brittany and Barbie Santana realize they much prefer to spend time together over hanging out with any of the Kens at the beach. In fact Barbie Brittany and Barbie Santana have come to realize a lot of things. Like Barbie Santana begins to think that Brittany is just the best, most amazing dancer out of any of the other Barbies ever and that dancing every night with Brittany is why she wakes up in the morning and Barbie Brittany thinks Barbie Santana's dimples are the most adorable thing she's ever seen.

They begin to realize they're falling in love and maybe in this Barbieland that's never happened before. Like the concept of two Barbies falling in love has just never occurred to anyone there. Lots of cute stuff as they begin to realize what's blooming between them.

Cut to the ending where Barbie Brittany and Barbie Santana move into their own Barbie dreamhouse together (maybe there's a minor subplot about them inspiring Ken Kurt to ask Ken Blaine out on a date). And then there's a reveal at the very, very end that the real world child who's playing with Barbie Brittany and Barbie Santana, controlling them and making them fall in love is ten year old Sugar Motta.

Kid Sugar just thinks her Barbies should fall in love and be married because they're like, the coolest.

[rockitmans]

Smart With Math, Stupid With Love (1/8)

Summary: Kurt just wants to survive Senior Year and maybe get a date with Sam. He doesn't need the new resident "Bad Boy" (more like Boy Band) to cause any complications. But it's hard to ignore a good offer when it comes along. Calculus lessons in exchange for Lessons In Love. God he must be desperate.

Notes: Happy Klaine-iversary and idk some Caesar thing that's happening. *Throws fic*

Warnings: Canon consistent homophobia and bullying. Boys being idiots.

~~~~

"Have you seen the new guy?" Rachel is on Kurt the second he steps into the choir room. "He has that James Dean bad boy swagger with classic Hollywood good looks. Completely dreamy. If his voice anywhere near matches his body, he would be the perfect male lead to look at me adoringly while I sing to him."

"I thought you liked Finn?" It's all Kurt can manage under this sudden onslaught of information. 

"I've realized I need someone more committed to keeping up with my talent," Rachel says airily. 

"You mean he's still dating Quinn," Mercedes mutters and Rachel's retort is silenced by the arrival of Mr Schue. 

~~~

"His name is Blaine Anderson," Tina announces to the group at large, the following day at lunch. "I heard he transferred because he burnt his previous school to the ground." She looks thrilled. 

"So he's an arsonist." Rachel tosses her head dismissively. 

"That don't impress you much?" Santana asks drily."So he's got the firepower, but has he got the touch ."

"I bet he does, have you seen him?" Rachel says. "He and I would have the cutest vaguely Eurasian looking babies."

Kurt chokes. 

"And his butt," Tina sighs. "It looks like it's been sculpted out of marble." 

"I need to have a conversation with you two about your priorities," Kurt says.

"Don't worry, Kurt, he's not actually an arsonist," Artie chips in unexpectedly. "He was just having an affair with his art teacher." It's his turn to look dreamy. "What a legend."

"Artie, ew." Tina slaps at his shoulder while Rachel launches into a lecture about the inappropriateness of teacher-student relationships. Mercedes coughs something that sounds suspiciously like “Mr Schue.”

Kurt internally prays for silence. 

Read on AO3

[brittanagirlcrush]

❤️🏳️‍🌈💀💀

🧡: What is a popular (serious) theory you disagree with?

I am 1000% sure that Santana did NOT plan to propose in the middle of "Hand In My Pocket/I Feel the Earth Move"

I am 1000% sure that Santana, being Santana, plotted out that proposal. She rehearsed it. Over and Over and Over. It was too on point for her to have been winging it. She'd have been way more nervous if she'd been winging it. She'd have been way more nervous if her plan to propose (in the middle of the song) was disrupted.

My theory, take it for what it's worth:

(this is the A/N for one of the chapters in Chasing the Dream, fyi)

Also: I have several reasons why I do not believe Santana was trying to propose in the middle of their mash-up and no one will ever convince me otherwise. So I have her set up everything for the proposal to happen after the mash-up finishes.

Santana was not planning on proposing in the middle of Hand In My Pocket/I Feel the Earth Move. Here's why:

When she goes down during the mash up, she goes down on both knees not one.

I know I've read that people think Santana's face is all "Britt … you messed me up" … I see her as "ooh, baby" and she never misses a beat.

She had that whole speech planned out. Saying "I wanna mash up with you forever" in the middle of the mash up just doesn't seem logical.

The music. It doesn't stop or even slow down. Santana doesn't look at the band like "wtf, you were supposed to stop at this point". At the very least the girl who had the ring would have had to stop.

This one is kind of iffy but I can't imagine the writers/RIB/whatever wanted to stop in the middle of a song. I just don't see what the fanbase seems to see in that whole scene. The proposal itself is too perfect for Santana to have had to adjust on the fly. Santana is an overthinker; she'd have been running that speech over and over and over in her head. If she'd meant to do it in the middle of the song the proposal wouldn't have been as good as it was because Santana would have had to wing it. My opinion. It's worth about what you think it is. :)

🏳️‍🌈: Which character who is commonly headcanoned as queer doesn't seem queer to you?

This one is tough because I haven't read a lot of fics beyond Brittana.

But.

Quinn and Rachel come to mind ... but I think Quinn, at the very least, is bicurious no matter what she said to Santana about it being a "one time thing" that turned into a two time thing... if it was REALLY a one time "i wanna experience/experiment" when Santana suggested another go around she'd have been "I'm good, let's go back to the bar, I'm losing my buzz"

With Rachel - she said something in season 5 about expecting to have a lesbian experience in college (something along those lines) but I think that was more a "role" for her - a way for her to "experience what's it like to be a lesbian". Don't really see it.

The BIG WINNER, though ... is PUCK?!?!?!? I have seen fics where Puck and Kurt (Hummerman? Kuck? Purt? Pummel? idek) are a thing.

💀: If you had to choose one major character to die, who would you choose?

Rachel. I hate her. I don't understand her appeal at all. She's whiny, manipulative, self-absorbed. Santana said it perfectly in 100 -

"You have sold so many people in this room down the river more times than I can count so that you can get a solo or the lead in a musical and I'm pretty sure you don't know the names of the other half of the people"

Just. Ugh.

💀: If you had to choose one major character to die, who would you choose?

Twice? I actually had to think about this one. I hate Finn but it seemed... insensitive? to choose him. So I thought a little more... and realized there actually was a character I could have done without.

Blaine. I ... do not get his appeal at all. He always seemed a bit manipulative and almost like he was ready to cry half the time. But, beyond that, the way he treated Kurt (not that Kurt was much better toward him) just seemed wrong. I don't get the appeal of Klaine. I thought Kurt could do better ... Blaine was another one who just seemed self-centered.

I realize my responses aren't popular ... but, quite a few of my opinions on Glee are unpopular so... yanno ... there's that.

Thanks for the ask and for making me think. And for helping me get that writing exercise under way. ;)

[santanaveralopez]

d

 

 

 

Santana had tried to downplay the engagement with Brittany to her friends. Really, really tried. She had known the minute she texted Rachel, Kurt, Quinn, and Mercedes (individually, because she couldn’t handle the mess of a group chat notifications pinging on and off all day long) with a simple and to the point statement that she and Brittany were engaged again, this would be far from the end of things she would hear about it. Her friends were not the type to simply text back a congratulations with some emojis, oh no. Instead, she was immediately bombarded with so many texts and phone calls- not just from those four, but from the entirety of the Glee club- that she got frustrated and shut her phone off. That didn’t help, they just started blowing up Brittany’s phone and Santana’s laptop instead. In the end, she had to call Kurt (the slightly more reasonable, between him and Rachel) and virtually threaten him to keep him and Rachel from showing up at their apartment door.

 

Apparently, though, Santana was no longer threatening enough to  scare them. Because Friday night, when she and Brittany got home from their respective responsibilities of the day, Santana could tell even before going to open the apartment door that something was wrong.

 

“Call the police, the lights are on inside and we didn’t leave them like that!” she hissed, grabbing Brittany’s arm. “Someone broke in!”

 

Straining to hear, still grasping Brittany, she realized that someone inside the apartment door was talking, trying unsuccessfully to keep their voice quiet. Actually….wait, was that more than one person talking? How many people had broken into the apartment? Was it a gang?!

 

And then she heard one all too familiar voice, attempting louder than all the rest of them combined, to shush everyone “because Santana and Brittany will be here any minute now!” That was when the penny dropped, and Santana dropped Brittany’s arm, growling aloud.

 

“Oh no. No, they did NOT.”

 

No longer the slightest bit afraid of being attacked, but rather of the possibly less welcome ambush she was now certain awaited her, she unlocked the door, immediately greeted by a swarm of voices calling out in unison.

 

“Surpriseeeee! Happy engagement!!!!”

 

Santana just stood there, slowly taking in the huge congratulatory banner, blown up picture posters of Brittany and Santana, balloons, streamers, and party food thrown over what seemed every inch of surface of her apartment. As she had feared, Rachel and Kurt stood in the front of the rest of the group, beaming with pride at themselves and practically bouncing on their toes in anticipation of their response. Just behind them, also far too happy looking for her liking, stood Quinn, Mercedes, Mike, Tina, Puck, Sam, Blaine, Artie, and Sugar.

 

Turning back to Brittany, Santana deadpanned, “Thanks. We forgot we have plans, bye!”

 

She made a motion to grab the doorknob, ready to flee and slam it all in their faces.

[daisyishedwig]

Okay, okay, you twisted my arm 😉😉 I'll tell you about the plot bunny my Kurtbastian feelings have given me.

Tagging @annepi-blog and @kurtsascot since they're encouraging the plot bunny to take root.

Okay, so this might be a Kurtbastian-centric Sebklaine fic, or it might just be a Kurtbastian fic where they’re friends with Blaine, the boys will inform me which it is as I write. Either way, Blaine will exist and will be the catalyst for our favorite idiots realizing they love each other.

This is loosely inspired by What a Feeling by Klaineitupanotch, so the basics are: Kurtbastian fwb, they meet Blaine, they both want to fuck Blaine, they have a pseudo competition over who can woo Blaine, and in the end, they realize how important they are to each other. 

So, Rachel and Kurt have been living together since moving to New York but things are really not working out and Kurt is on the verge of murdering her, or at the very least completely destroying their friendship. As he is bitching about this to Sam and his friend Nick (it’s canon that Sam attended an all-boys school prior to going to McKinley so in this universe, that all-boys school was Dalton) and Nick has an idea. A possibly terrible idea, but an idea nonetheless. 

Nick’s friend Sebastian (who Sam knows but isn’t particularly close with since Sebastian transferred to Dalton after he had left) has a spare room in his apartment. He’s not exactly looking for someone to rent it out, since he owns the apartment outright thanks to his parents, but Nick knows he gets lonely in that place all alone. 

Sam thinks it’s a terrible idea because he is certain that Kurt and Sebastian will kill each other, but Nick thinks it’d be really good for Sebastian to not be able to cut himself off from everyone when he’s in a mood. 

Kurt moves in and it goes… about as well as you’d expect. Sebastian hits on Kurt, Kurt rebukes him, they fight, rinse, repeat, etc. But after a month or so they fall into a rhythm together and things settle. Sebastian, for all his selfishness, did attend boarding school all his life and is used to sharing space, unlike Rachel who was the epitome of a spoiled only child. 

And as time goes on, they even become friends and their morning bickering is almost a ritual, and on the days when one of them has to leave before the other gets up, it throws them off kilter a little. 

And with friendship comes Sebastian attempting to play wingman, there’s only one problem. Kurt’s a virgin and wants his first time to at least be with someone he trusts, even if he’s given up on the fantasy of being in love and having his first be his last. And the guys Sebastian tries to set him up with at bars and parties, do not fit the bill for either of those scenarios. 

One night, after a particularly rough clubbing experience that leaves even Sebastian without a hookup, they end up back at their apartment bitching about the assholes they’d danced with and drinking some more. 

And then Kurt says, “If you weren’t such an asshole, I’d trust you enough with my first time if only to get it over with.”

And Sebastian freezes. “What did you just say?”

Kurt rolls his eyes. “If I wasn’t positive you’d laud the fact that you took my virginity over me for the rest of our lives, I think I’d feel safe enough with you to do it.”

“I wouldn’t laud that over you,” Sebastian says softly. He knows how important feeling safe during that experience is to Kurt and if he entrusted it to him, he’d do the best he could to make sure he got that. 

And in a world where they’re not idiots they’d like, discuss this, and make a plan of it for some time in the future when they’re sober. But where’s the fun in that when they can instead hook up while they’re both drunk enough to only half remember it in the morning?

And yeah, basically from there they end up regularly sleeping together, to the point that Sebastian rarely goes looking for someone else, and Kurt only has one or two, not-great hookups with people who aren’t Sebastian. 

And then Blaine comes in (in this world he attended neither Dalton or McKinley) and they both take a shine to him, but Blaine is uninterested in casual sex, but Sebastian encourages Kurt to keep going for it, since he knows he wants a relationship some day, but as Kurt and Blaine grow closer, Kurt starts to realize that if he starts dating Blaine… he’d have to stop seeing Sebastian. And he doesn’t understand why that idea feels like a punch to the gut. 

And that’s most of what I got at the moment.

[nineofhearts4]

Author: @nineofhearts4

Artist: @jazziergin

Prompt Provided by:  Anonymous

Pairing: Kurt Hummel/Blaine Anderson

Rating: General Audiences

Word Count: 10.4k

Characters: Kurt Hummel, Blaine Anderson

Summary: Rachel graduates after the New Directions wins Nationals, leaving Kurt as the new captain of the Glee Club. He is left to pull a new team together, including finding a 12th member after auditions fall flat. He resorts to posting on a show choir forum to recruit new members, where he meets another poster by the name of BWarbler, who happens to be very fed up with his own glee Club, which is now run by Sebastian Smythe. They strike up a friendship online, never realizing that they are show choir rivals who will meet and compete against one another at Regionals. ....until they do.

Genre/Tropes: Canon divergence

Warnings: None

Author’s Notes: Thank you to @jazziergin for creating 6 awesome gifs as inspiration beyond the prompt! They helped form the core of this fic and inspired several scenes. Please check it out even if only to see the fun gifs!

Thank you to , for choosing this prompt as well and making the wonderful art for it! And thank you to @admirabletragedy for hopping in and betaing for me - this fic would have made much less sense without you!

Read on AO3

Reblog the artists post

[bedbugcouch]

Rachel: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*

Quinn: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 cents.

Rachel: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you.

Brittany: Actually I did the math, Quinn would have $225, not $0.15.

Quinn: Fam I’m right here....

Blaine: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)

Sam: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please?

Blaine: Sorry I only have a dollar.

Sam: :(

Brittany: Hey I just realized I was wrong, Quinn would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent.

Blaine: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice.

Kurt: You can buy anything you want with $22,500.

Santana: Yeah and they want soda and apply juice.

Mike: Apply juice to what?

Finn: Directly to forehead.

Kurt: Great chat everyone.

[klaineccfanficlibrary]

hi!! can you recc some fics set between 4x10 and 4x14, aka what happened behind the scenes that lead kurt and blaine to the car makeout after their christmas in new york?

Hi - you asked! There's a long list to follow, most are reaction fics to the episodes. ~ Jen

4X 10

Baby, It’s Cold Outside by whyitisyou

Kurt and Blaine end up spending the Holidays after their first break-up together in New York. They use the time to talk and they have to deal with the fact that they still feel warm about each other.

~~~~~

If The Fates Allow  by flaming muse

Blaine is feeling a lot of things. He adds cold to the list.

canonical, set just after 4x10 (“Glee, Actually”), no spoilers beyond

~~~~~

If the Fates Allowby Keitorin Asthore

Blaine desperately wants to do something, but he’s at a loss. And then Burt has a favor to ask him. Reaction fic to the Kurt plotline in “Glee Actually.” Klaine. Oneshot. COMPLETE.

~~~~~

Soliloquy By flamingmuse

The clock says it’s two-thirty-six in the morning when Kurt finally decides he isn’t going to sleep. He sits up slowly on the couch and rubs his hands over his face. His limbs feel heavy with fatigue, but it’s not just physical exhaustion that weighs on his shoulders tonight.

Dialogue-free, angsty Kurt introspection set during Glee 4x10 (“Glee, Actually”) in the wee hours of Christmas morning.

~~~~~

Time to dissolve by misqueue

Set over episode 4x10 "Glee Actually". There's little about Christmas this year that Kurt would choose. That's not necessarily a bad thing. A story of family and friendship and transforming grief into hope.

~~~~~

Are We Ever Gonna Be Okay Again? by @justgleekout

An alternate timeline in which Kurt did go to Lima for Christmas and he and Blaine had that much-needed heart-to-heart.

But uh-oh! It's angst and they cry.

~~~~

Merry and Bright by SiderumInCaelo

Kurt and Blaine, ice skating.

~~~~~

Missed by BlurglesmurfKlaine

Super short (like blink and you'll miss it) reaction fic I wrote immediately after Glee, Actually aired because I have a LOT of feelings about that episode.

~~~~~~

May your days be merry and bright by ShanleenKinnJaskey

Blaine surprises Kurt with his Christmas gift, and of course there's singing, kissing, and ice skating.

~~~~

Pocket Dial by nachochang

Blaine and Burt have a series of phone conversations that result in Blaine going to NYC for Christmas. Post-Ep for 4x10, Glee, Actually.

~~~~~

4.11 Sadie Hawkins

Fragile Gifts by @wowbright

4.11 reaction. Blaine loves three different people in three very different ways.

and

Unexpected gifts By @wowbright

4.11 missing scene fic. Tina takes Blaine home from the dance. She's quite the gentleman even though she might rather be a rake.

~~~~~

Seneca Falls, Selma and Stonewall by flaming-muse

Blaine watches the inauguration alone in his house, a bowl of microwave popcorn cooling on the coffee table and a glass of soda fizzing gently by his hand.

set in the canonical present, so assumes through 4x10 (“Glee, Actually”) with no spoilers beyond, takes place on January 21rst, 2013

~~~~~

You Are Here and So Am I by Edwardina

Glee kink meme fill. Takes place circa 413. Blaine and Kurt are in touch. Kurt senses Blaine is down and manages to wheedle out of him that he has a crush on Sam. Kurt can sympathize because he’s been there. Their conversation about Sam morphs and Klaine end up having a pretty hot phone sex session.

~~~~~

One More Night by trufflemores_Glee_fic

Blaine has a crush on Sam. It’s not subtle.

~~~~~

Reassurance by NikkiEvans

A short phone call between Kurt and Blaine reveals why Sam is Blaine’s crush. It has a lot more to do with Kurt than anyone realizes. OneShot 4.11 reaction fic.

~~~~~

4.12 Naked

Bare by Flaming_muse

Kurt and Rachel get a surprise package in the mail from Tina.

set in canon, episode tag for and spoilers through 4x12 (“Naked”), with no spoilers beyond

~~~~~~

Those stumbling words by misqueue

Set between 4x11 "Sadie Hawkins" and 4x12 "Naked". In a phone call after the Sadie Hawkin's dance, Kurt has something to tell Blaine. For klaineadvent 2013

And I breathe   by misqueue

Set during 4x12 "Naked". Lonely, Blaine goes to Scandals looking for a human connection, but what he finds isn't what he expects.

~~~~~

I'll be Looking at the Moon by misqueue

Blaine's surprised when Kurt texts him after his first date with Adam. It didn't go how Kurt expected. Set around 3x12 "Naked" and immediately following And I Breathe".

~~~~~

Tiny Imperfections By @wowbright

4.12 missing scene +. No teacher tells Blaine to go see Ms. Pillsbury, and his boyfriend doesn't drag him there. But he goes to talk to her anyway, because he wants to.

~~~~~

Long way home by pene

It can take a little time to find your way home. Warning: Finn’s death is referenced throughout the story.

This is alternate canon, splitting off somewhere around Glease. It is a love story foremost, but some chapters are possibly a bit sad, particularly the first one.

~~~~~

Less Than Decent Exposure by @lady-divine-writes

Rachel and Kurt get a copy of The Men of McKinley calendar in the mail from Sam. Its arrival is met with mixed reactions. Rachel is fine with it, Kurt is appalled…until Rachel directs him to two months in particular - January and December.

Written for the Klaine Advent Drabble prompt ‘indecent’. Takes place during the episode ‘Naked’.

~~~~~

4.13 Diva

Diva Love Fest by Flowerfan

After Blaine sings “Don’t Stop Me Now,” the Glee club reflects on his Diva-hood and, as Artie calls it, his "sexy stylings."

Support by trufflemores_Glee_fic

Blaine isn’t having the best week, but it’s improving.

~~~~~

4.14 I do

Best to look at the library tag for this one! Lots of choice!

It's Too easy By insighfulinsomniac

Missing Moments/Episode Expansion of 4x14 “I Do.”

Kurt was confident that he and Blaine could have a repeat of Christmas — a shared holiday and a sweet duet that means nothing more than two friends enjoying each other’s company. That lasts about as long as one duet practice session at Blaine’s house the night before the wedding.

After that, it’s all too easy for Kurt to reach out for Blaine, to re-establish a connection that’s never truly left them.

And maybe, just maybe, it might change things between them. But one thing’s for sure — as much as he wants to pretend it’s not true, Kurt still loves Blaine.

~~~~~

Shut me up and tie me down by milopoli

A peak behind the curtains of hotel room 206 after Will&Emma's wedding reception aka a Klaine smut fic in three acts.

~~~~~

Thought you should see this by slayerkitty S&C sign in needed

This is a combination reaction fic to 4.15 and 4.16, then goes completely AU for 4.17 onward, though I do incorporate some spoilers for 4.18 (One section of this will talk about there being a possible school shooting at McKinley - I don't go into detail, but if this is triggering for you at all, please don't read it). Ultimately, this is a Klaine reunion fic. This is a combination reaction fic to 4.15 and 4.16, then goes completely AU for 4.17 onward, though I do incorporate some spoilers for 4.18 (One section of this will talk about there being a possible school shooting at McKinley - I don't go into detail, but if this is triggering for you at all, please don't read it). Ultimately, this is a Klaine reunion fic.

~~~~~

A Ton of Twitterpation by @wowbright

Kurt has coffee with Adam the day after he gets back from Lima. Kurt notices that the barista has a crush on Adam, and Adam notices … well, you'll see.

~~~~~

Voice of Experience by flaming_muse

For once, Blaine knows something Kurt does not.

set within 4x14 (“I Do”), with no spoilers beyond

~~~~~

Shining Down for me by misqueue

Set within 4x14 "I Do". Kurt comes home for Will & Emma's wedding

~~~~~

Blaine Absolutely Knew He Was In Love by  Corriebird

“Blaine steps forward and whispers in Kurt’s ear, "If it’s not exclusive, then what’s to stop you?” Kurt’s eyes flare and he inhales sharply, so he steps back and heads to the bathroom without looking back. This is what life is, right? This is what it means to be alone, to be lonely. Taking what you can get. Sucking the marrow out, even if it’ll break your heart later.“ 4.14 fic!

Also

99 Perspectives on a Single Love story By @spaceorphan18

The Story of Kurt and Blaine told through the eyes of everyone else but them. Each chapter is a different perspective in the ongoing tale of their love story.

Chapters 54 The Photographers (Glee actually)

Chapter 55 Tine Cohen-Chang (Sadie Hawkins)

Chapter 56 Brody Weston (Naked)

Chapter 57 The Sychophants (Diva)

Chapter 58 Marley Rose (I Do)

Chapter 59 Adam Crawford (Girls and Boys on Film)

~~~~~

Enjoy!!

[chrispaulcolfer]

you were so real for your rant on your latest post. i always feel so icked out when schue is credited for having any part in the larger aspects of kurt’s happiness. schue represents the club and he did fuck all to protect kurt from literal harassment and death threats. santana and blaine did more for him in that respect than schue ever did. kurt was treated like an accessory in the club most of the time, and the few times that he had the opportunity to shine, he was sidelined.

Right?!

No one grouped together as a club to build Kurt up. The girls sent their boyfriends to "talk" to Karofsky and that didn't do anything. Schue didn't pull Karofsky aside to find out what was going on. It was a simple shrug off. And Kurt was left to defend himself by himself (which in the end is fine, it proves how independent he truly is and has to be to get shit done).

The one time they group together for Kurt it's for religious reasons which he makes quite known how uncomfortable he is with that and they do it anyway.

He had to transfer schools to feel safe.

He always feels like he has to scream to get noticed, otherwise he's overlooked and sidelined. He and Mercedes joined the Cheerio's because they were tired of playing in the back! I swear if Kurt wasn't Rachel's lap dog in season 3, he wouldn't have stayed in the new directions and would've gladly transferred to the troubletones but I digress.

Even in the Warblers. Blaine only gives him a duet after catching feelings at long last - with a weird duet as it is but whatever, that's my own personal ick. So the Warblers may have been safer than the New Directions in terms of safety from personal attacks, but he wasn't rallied for by any club. But still, why does Blaine have to realize Kurt is the love of his life before Kurt is granted a duet? Yeah yeah the writers suck I know

THE BOTTOM LINE IS: Glee club didn't save Kurt Hummel. Kurt Hummel saved Kurt Hummel with building his own support system since no one was going to do it for him. And I will die on this hill because Kurt Hummel deserved the best and got the worst but he made the best of it and made it work in his favor nonetheless. Kurt Hummel decides his fate and happiness, no damn club.

But thank you for reading my rant, I didn't know if anyone still read them. 🤭