#and Tuesday kinda ! but I had to give it serious thought to see if there was anything else bdbdnrfjs | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

augustvandyne · 4 months

Note

5 times she almost she almost confesses, and the one time she actually does. ( Lucy Chen x firefighter!reader.)

been in the works for a long time.. i apologize

it has been a while but i’ve been struggling (still kinda am) but im trying to work on myself and i have more time to write now!!

The first time she almost says it, it’s mainly as a joke, but she’s cut off by you.

It was only the third or fourth time she’d met you, but she thought you were gorgeous and she would’ve sold her soul to go out with you.

On a random Tuesday, her and Officer Bradford responded to a distress call that happened to involve a house fire. Which was why you and your station were later called.

You’d had run-ins involving Tim Bradford and his rookies in the past, so you weren’t completely struck by this form of ‘teaching,’ but you were still surprised.

When you arrived on the scene Officer Bradford was telling Lucy she should help out since they were the only ones available in the moment, and you all but yelled out for Lucy not to do that.

“Officer.. Bradford!” Bailey shook her head in disapproval. “You should never enter a burning house without the correct equipment.”

“We were busy waiting. For you,” Tim leaned forward angrily, and that was when you entered the house, so you didn’t hear the end of the conversation. But you would bet good money that Bailey won that argument.

You moved through the house along with a few other firefighters, and that was when you found Lucy in the kitchen, all but coughing her lung out.

“Officer Chen,” You took one of her hands and placed the other on her back so you could help her out of the house and off the counter she was leaning on.

She leaned most of her weight on you, because she was weak from smoke inhalation, but you eventually picked her up to get her out.

You sat her on the back of the ambulance, and started checking her out since you had some paramedic training under your belt, and the other paramedics were checking on the more serious injuries.

“You okay?” You immediately put a gas mask over her face so she could breathe.

She tried to remove the mask to speak, but you shook your head and said, “Don’t talk. Just nod yes or no.”

She gave you a nod to let you know she’s okay.

Officer Bradford appeared in front of the two of you, but you shake your head at him.

“Uh-uh,” You pursed your lips and stepped in front of him. “I think you should go elsewhere. After the stunt you just pulled, you ought to be put on probation, but it’s not up to me.”

“I—“ Tim stood there with his mouth open, like you could stand there and talk to him like that.

“So you can take yourself back over there to the rest of your cop buddies, while I clear Officer Chen for duty,” You stood, one hand on the mask and one hand on your hip.

Tim clears his throat, “I’ll wait over there.”

“I thought so,” You nodded and watched him walk back over to the police cars.

Lucy let out an exasperated laugh, “Thank you. I needed that. I may regret it tomorrow, but, he deserves it.” Lucy pauses. “I literally lo—“

“It was no problem, really, I see he’s a bit stuck up. Someone had to put him in his place,” You cut her off, not even realizing she was trying to speak until after. “I’m sorry, what were you saying?”

“Huh?” Lucy thought it would be best if she acted like she wasn’t saying anything. “Oh, nothing.”

“Okay,” You nodded. “You’re okay to go, but take your time. Make sure if you’re out of breath at any time, that you take a second to rest. My orders.”

“You got it,” Lucy stuck her thumb up with a smile.

“Bye, Officer Chen.”

The missile attack took everyone by surprise, even you.

The Los Angeles Fire Department worked to help with damage control and to help maintain traffic on the freeway and along the streets.

It didn’t work very well, but it made you feel better to do that than to just sit around while the world ended.

Angela and Jackson eventually told you to just give it up because nothing was going to help if the world was really going to end in less than an hour.

You fought against her, but she told you and Bailey you should go find Tim and Lucy and find shelter, as they weren’t answering the radios.

Bailey grabbed your arm softly and pulled you away, because she knew about your small but growing crush on the woman, and she knew how worried you were, even if you pushed it down.

Angela told you their last known location, and that’s where you found them, drinking their worries away.

“Officer Chen,” You nodded with a small smile on your face — although it was fake, it was nice of you to try.

“Y/n,” Lucy’s eyes softened at another familiar face.

You look to Tim, and even though you weren’t his biggest fan, you greeted him with a pat on the shoulder. There was no need to keep enemies if you were about to die together.

“What are we drinking?” Bailey asked nervously.

“Tequila and Scotch,” Lucy tried handing the tequila to Bailey, but she shook her head.

“I’m not a tequila girl.. wine, and I can get down with.”

You chuckle lightly as you watch Bailey wander off to find a bottle of red wine, and take the bottle from Lucy. Your hands brushing in the process.

“I think I love you,” Lucy stumbled over her words slightly, and you just let out a breathy laugh.

“That’s very sweet, Officer Chen,” You kept your eyes on her as you took a sip from the bottle.

“The world is gonna end, so I thought I’d tell you,” Lucy shrugged jokingly, but deep down inside (and later in the months) she wasn’t really joking.

When it was all over, you found yourself sort of wishing she’d meant it, but you’ve only seen her a few times, and you barely even knew her favorite color. Not to mention she’d never even asked you on a date.

You were very surprised when Lucy had asked you to be her date to Officer Angela Lopez’s wedding, but you reluctantly agreed to go.

The two of you had swapped numbers after the false missile attack, and she texted you like crazy.

Not that you’d ever complain, because the pictures of puppies and random selfies throughout the day was something you came to look forward to.

It’s months later, though, and you’re glad Lucy asked you out (kind of), finally!

You lived with Bailey, as she was your best friend, and the two of you decided to get ready together since John Nolan had asked her to come along as well.

You wore a lighter blue dress that had just been sitting in the back of your closet for months. It was a spaghetti strap, and it flowed along your body nicely with a slit up your leg.

You bought it for another occasion, but never ended up using it, so you just pushed it in the back, thinking you’d never have another need for it. But Bailey found it and convinced you this was exactly what you needed to wear to impress Lucy.

And she was right.

You’d pay good money to relive Lucy’s reaction to your dress over and over.

She had no shame in looking you up and down, which was good, because you had no shame in doing it to her, either.

The both of you looked away with a small blush on each of your faces from being ogled. That is, until Jackson pushed Lucy towards you.

“I’m going to go check on Angela,” Jackson removes his hand from Lucy’s back, and the two of you nod, but you aren’t really looking at him — more at each other.

“You look.. gorgeous,” You shook your head, amazed.

“You do too,” Lucy scoffed slightly. “If there was a competition, I think you’d win with flying colors.”

“Have you seen yourself?” You continued to ogle her.

You grab her hand softly, and lift your arms above the two of you so you can spin her around, her dress flowing freely with her.

“Oo, you’ve got moves,” Lucy laughed as you spun her back towards you.

“Yes, I do,” You lifted your brows jokingly. “We’ll have to dance together later.”

“Why not now?” Lucy whined. “We could just dance right here, right now. I don’t care who sees. Please?”

“Fine,” A small smile graces your lips. “But only because you asked so nicely.”

You timidly place a hand on Lucy’s back, because this was new territory, and you didn’t want to overstep. And you place your other hand in hers.

The two of you slow dance to a song that doesn’t even match your rhythm, and neither of you care.

Lucy spins you this time with a giggle, and your all but fall into her arms on your way back in. But you’re especially struck when she dips you without warning.

“I have moves?” You question with a huge grin on your face. “Look at you, Miss. Chen!”

She slowly lifts you back up and you are about to kiss her when a bunch of people start crowding around you.

“Lucy,” John is the first to speak, and with a shake to his head, Lucy removes herself from you.

“What?” Lucy’s smile is gone, and she’s given sympathetic looks. “Someone tell me what’s wrong. Now.”

Tim steps forward anxiously and whispers something in her ear, and you only catch parts of it.

Lucy looks like her hearts been ripped out of her chest over and over again, “O— oh. What— who did this?”

You lean forward and grab her in your arms, because all you heard was “Jackson and Lopez,” and “Missing.”

“Lucy,” Grey says in a plain voice, but there’s so much behind it, and Lucy pulls herself together.

“I have to—“

“Of course,” You held onto her hands, pulling her in for a small kiss on the cheek. “Text me if you need anything, okay?”

“Yes,” Lucy nods. “I lov— erally can’t thank you enough.”

You shake your head trying to figure out what she just said, but then Bailey is beside you and the two of you are following closely behind them to exit the venue.

You hadn’t heard much from Lucy in the span of a few weeks, and you were starting to worry.

Especially because Lucy was an over the top texter, and she hadn’t so much as sent one message a day. More like two in a week.

She was coping the loss of her best friend, you knew that, but it didn’t stop you from worrying.

You wanted to bake her some cookies and put together a small basket like she had when you were sick a month or two ago.

Bailey offered to come along, but you told her not to worry. Not because this was something you wanted to do on your own, but because she’d been off and on with Officer John Nolan, and you couldn’t stand to be put in more than one awkward interaction today.

Once the basket was put together (you had to have Bailey help you wrap it up and put the bow on, but that’s beside the point) you left and made your way to the station.

“Is Bailey with you?” John perked up from the front desk upon your arrival, but he was quickly put back down after not seeing her.

“Not this time,” You shrugged apologetically. “I’m looking for Lucy. Is she in?”

He eyes the basket up and down, “She might be in the break room for her lunch.”

“Has she eaten?” You knew it was a long shot asking him, because he’d probably been out there all morning, but it was worth it to try.

“If I guessed, I’d say no,” He shook his head.

You sighed, biting the inside of your cheek, “I’ll just have to force feed her some of these cookies.”

“Sounds good,” John chuckled as you walked through the station, finding Lucy sitting where John said she might be. No food in sight.

“Y/n,” Lucy gives a slight smile, but it doesn’t reach her eyes.

“Hey,” You placed the huge basket on the table and Lucy’s eyes are drawn to it.

“You didn’t..” Lucy frowned slightly. “You really didn’t.. have to.”

Lucy’s lips started to quiver, and you were quick to hug her tightly. You hadn’t seen her since the wedding, and obviously hadn’t spoken much either, so you were walking in blind today. No clue how she was holding up.

“Shh,” You let her cry into your chest, rubbing her back reassuringly. “It’s okay, love. It’s okay.”

Smitty begins to walk in, head hung as he looks at his phone. He looks up with a startled expression, “Oh— uh, Chen..”

“Get out!” Lucy cried into your arms, and you just chuckled at the interaction.

Smitty stood still, unsure what to do, “I think it’s best if you go..” The two of you stood awkwardly, just staring at each other. “Hello? Move.”

He swallowed and nodded his head, shutting the door on his way out.

“I lo—“ Lucy stutters and you just nod your head.

“I know. Shhh, I know,” You place a small kiss on her head. “It’s okay.”

Responding to a quiet call in what looked to be an abandoned house was just what you needed today. Until it wasn’t.

You’d disappeared through a hallway because Bailey said she had the foyer, but she didn’t.

When you came back, she was trapped in what looked to be a trap of some kind — and you could only assume it had to do with Rosalind Dyer.

You and your group quickly called the LAPD, and soon enough, your girlfriend of two months walked in. You’d now known each other for a year and some.

“Y/n,” She hugged you quickly, placing her forehead to yours. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

“Gee, thanks,” Bailey said sarcastically from below.

“I don’t think I could handle it if it were me down there,” You say truthfully. “You’re smart, and you’ll know what to do, Bails.”

“It was designed for me,” Bailey quickly observes the tank.

Your heart drops and breaks in your chest for your best friend, and you’re so scared you feel as though you may have a panic attack.

You feel Lucy shift closer to you, her lingering touches bringing you comfort.

A sympathetic smile sets on her lips, a quirk in her eyebrow to ask if you were okay. You give a nod in response.

Things escalate quickly after that. John disappears, Bailey comes close to death, it’s a whole mess. And you’re struggling to breathe because you can’t lose your best friend tonight. It just couldn’t happen.

As Celina encourages Bailey to stay under the water longer when the explosions happen, you’re standing off to the side, a hand held to your mouth to hold the vomit in.

Lucy stands from her crouch, a gentle hand coming to your back to soothe your anxiety.

The bile lowers, and you attempt to speak, but she beats you to it.

“I l—“

For once you think you understand what she’s trying to say, and the swallow that contracts her throat says it all for her. You knew, and you reciprocated, but now wasn’t the time. There was too much going on all at once and you couldn’t accept the words here— not like this.

A slight nod from you and Lucy’s eyes changed.

“She’s going to be okay,” It was an empty promise, both of you knew, but she was trying to convince the both of you. “Come here.”

She wraps you in her arms and for once you feel safe.

When she actually says I love you, you were in the hospital.

It was a fire rescue gone wrong, and you were in critical condition.

When Lucy got word she dropped everything and hurried to the hospital. Not even caring about Tim’s insistence on letting him drive her.

She broke twenty different laws on the way there, but the only thing she was worried about was getting to you.

A small smile formed on your lips when you heard her shouts — actual shouts — at the nurse to let her see you. You even think she flashed her badge, and if you weren’t in so much pain you’d laugh.

She does finally appear at your door, her pleads finally working, and you’re more than happy to see her.

She timidly sits on your bedside, afraid she’s going to hurt you from three feet away.

“Lucy..” You try to talk, but it pains you to even do that, and Lucy can tell.

“Don’t talk,” She reaches her hand out but draws it back at the last second because the last thing she wasn’t to do is make you uncomfortable. “Let me speak.”

You scrunch your eyebrows together in concern, because what did she have to say?

“I’m sorry.”

“This isn’t—“

“What did I say?” Lucy attempts to be stern, but it just makes you smile. “I’m sorry this happened to you.”

Your lips wobble and she hates to see you like this.

“Bailey told me you had been rushed to the hospital. I’m so glad she did because I love you and I absolutely cannot lose you—“

Her eyes widen when she realizes what she’s said, her hand shooting to her mouth in shock.

“I.. I—“

“Lu—“

“Should I go? I should probably go, right?” Lucy nods nervously. “Or— just forget I said anything at all.”

“Lucy, I love you too.”

Your words catch her off guard, and suddenly the frown on her face is turned into a wide smile.

“You do?” She breathless.

“Of course I do. How couldn’t I?”

#the rookie #the rookie x reader #wlw post #send asks #lucy chen #lucy chen x reader #lucy chen is adorable and i love her #lucy chen ask #lucy chen x y/n #lucy chen x you #lucy chen imagine #lucy chen x u

86 notes · View notes

ashironie · 5 months

Text

spoilers for tmagp ep 12. im making this on tuesday then relistening and adding more thursday.

i’ll be doing 2 in front of every thought i had on my second listen

Alex doing the title card? maybe a norris case? mayhaps?

2 Is getting of in relation to the bonzo lap dance turned dismemberment?

oh god.. first ep without a transcript… what the actual fuck are they saying

2 Oh thank god i have the transcript… sam actually got some rizz

celia and sam in the off room? i assume that’s why it’s so FUCKING ECHOY

2 Panting? man this guy is out of shape

2 awwww i kinda heard this part my first listen through </3. Alice unrequitedly loves Sam and Sam unrequitedly love Celia who unrequitedly loves Lena who unrequitedly loves Gwen who unrequitedly loves Alice (i don’t ship half these but it is funny to joke about imo)

2 SAM IS SUCH A CHARMER I NO LONGER WANT HIM TO DIE FIRST (sorry colin, looks like your up, and so is your time)

awwww, celam fans are gonna eat good with this one

my headphones are also broke so i can’t hear jack

ALICE YAY!!!!

2 something about alice makes tmagp 10x more understandable

aw but you love him for it :7

SHE IS JEALOUS!!!

he is so not over the institute, sam and alice are alike like that, he’s not over tmi she’s not over him

awwww alice stop being such a pessimist! like please do say it, i want sam to get out of this bullshit alive as much as you but like… yk

2 OH MY GOD “im sure celia would just love that” SALT IN THE WOUND SAM SALT IN THE WOUND!!! SHES IN LOVE WITH YOU YOU IDIOT DONT TALK ABOUT YOUR CRUSH IN FRONT OF HER!!!!

NORRIS!!! I WAS RIGHT!

norris sounds so robotic, i think i even heard him skip a bit. it’s either jonny is too much of a theater kid, or this is actually important to the lore. norris being less human, sounding less emotive, maybe a bit sad? hm? maybe a bit lonely?

2 the skip is on the words “Policy Number: 548651-656” and on “2024” or more specifically the numbers, which isn’t important in don’t think, but really does remind me of tts

fraud?? ooooooOooooOOOOooooo

ha “acting in good faith”

2 love the way Alex says dickheads, it’s so specific and so pointed

hey i know what a stag is!! i watch a british bitch give one to a 70yo! (its a bachelor(ette) party, im pretty sure)

a lunch box? OH MY GOD BONZO! IS IT BONZO OH MY GOD BONZO?

2 don’t you DARE insult my dear dear comic sans

YES BONZO!!! MR BONZOS ON HIS WAY HE WANTS TO STAY HE WANT TO PLAY!!!

wait why does lena want him murdered?

YES IT WONT TURN OFF!!!

wait cheer?

ew, i hate bonzo

ew…

HUG IT WHY ARE YOU HUGGING IT?

ohhhhh it looks not bad

JOEYS BOOTS????

OH MY GOD IS THAT WHO LENA WANTS DEAD?

OR THAT GUY WHOS STAG IT IS

2 “Just then the googly eyes turned to me,” im sorry but that will never not be funny. i am both disgusted by bonzo and think everything he does is hilarious.

oh god

ewwwwww

WHY ARE THEY LAUGHING? oh they didn’t know

wow dude i feel like that’s overkill bonbon

dut do

why is this SO visiral?

2 ugghhh i love the voice acting

His teeth are not soft

alex saying “bonzo…? bonzo bonzo?” is absolutely hilarious (although i don’t think it can top jonny’s “baaaaa”)

“none of us were left whole” WOW DUDE YOU LOST YOUR FUCKIN HAND?

AW SHIT

YEAH SUE EM! SUE EM TO HELL!

GWEN!

HAHA ALICE YES

AHHHH DYHARD MOMENT DYHARD MOMENT!!!

ALICE WAS SERIOUS!!!!

ALICE IS TRYING TO COMFORT GWEN AWWWWWWWW!!!

SERIOUS TALK!

THAT LITTLE GWEN LAUGH!!!!!

I WAS SO SCARED WE WOULDNT SEE GWEN

awww gwen getting her hopes up that alice isn’t fucking with her, so cute

YES!

#tmagp #the magnus protocol #tmagp spoilers

20 notes · View notes

stargazer-sims · 1 year

Text

Journal Entry #50

previously - Journal Entry #49 (part four)

Victor

It's Tuesday again.

I keep doing this, recording entries on Tuesdays. Unlike last Tuesday, nothing much happened today, but that's not to say I don't have news. Even if today wasn’t eventful, the weekend was.

I finally heard from Seiji. It took him until Sunday to reply to the multiple texts I'd sent him on Friday, but better late than never, as they say. What's going on with him will require some explaining, so let me come back to it, 'cause I'm sure you want to know how Yuri and I are doing too, right?

Right. Here comes the health update. There’s some good news and some not so good news.

Good news first; I'm feeling a lot better. It's like my body decided to kick itself into high gear and get some serious healing done since Friday. I’m still getting headaches, but they’re not nearly as intense as they were before, and the blurriness is completely gone from my vision now, which is super encouraging. Today, I didn't take any pain medication for my arms and rib, not even ibuprofen.

In hindsight, I think I probably should've had a little something in the afternoon, because my rib was hurting by the time I got back from spending several hours at the hospital with Yuri. The chairs in there aren’t particularly comfortable and it’s hard for me to sit for long periods of time. But, you know me. I was trying to be a tough guy about it.

My biggest problem right now isn't pain. It's that I'm restless and nearly bored out of my mind. I'm still not cleared for exercise, but I keep trying to sneak in some shoulder stretches and a bunch of leg work whenever I can. Normally, I'd be training, going to work, cooking and cleaning, and taking care of Yuri, but I can't do any of that at the moment and a guy can only take so much inactivity. I'm going kinda crazy with nothing to do.

As for Yuri, his progress hasn't been quite as good as mine. He's slowly getting better, but he's still in the hospital. It's been a whole week as of today, and I don't think he'll be getting out for at least another week.

He hasn't reached the stage where he's bored yet, probably because he's really weak and he's still sleeping a lot, but at least he's able to get out of bed on his own now. He was even up and walking for a few minutes this afternoon. I coaxed him to drink some water afterwards, which probably looked hilarious because I was holding the cup for him and I had to hold it between both hands while he sipped through a straw.

He's still not eating, unfortunately, so they're still giving him intravenous nutrition infusions. I'm sure he's capable of eating independently, but I think he's scared, and nothing anyone's said so far has been enough to motivate him to try.

Dr. Kasongo has already brought up the subject of tube feeding at home, but only with me because neither of us feel Yuri is ready for that conversation yet. Obviously, tube feeding will be an option of last resort, and we really don't want to frighten or upset him any more.

I’ll be honest, the idea upsets me too, not just because I hate the thought of how debilitating it’d be for Yuri, but also because I don’t think I grasped exactly how sick he is until I had that conversation with his doctor. Like, I’ve always understood that his illness is serious and chronic, but I don’t think I fully comprehended the magnitude of it, if that makes sense.

Dr. Kasongo is hopeful that we won’t have to go the tube feeding route, in any case. She’s certain Yuri will settle enough to start a liquid diet by mouth in another day or two, but I'm not sure it'll happen as soon as she imagines it will. Not without some kind of intervention, at least.

The nutritionist came to see him while I was there today, and he had a complete meltdown in front of her. It was pretty clear that he did not want to hear anything about the food plan she was suggesting for him once he's released from the hospital, and his solution was to dissolve into tears and ask her to leave. I think I've seen him cry more in the past week than in the entire duration of our relationship. Yuri hardly ever cries. He rarely shows any emotions really strongly for that matter, regardless of how he's feeling inside, and it's difficult to see him in such a vulnerable state.

The nutritionist told me she's going to ask the doctor to make a referral to a psychologist for him. I already know he's not going to like that, and I’m predicting he'll cause a scene over it, but I do think it's a good idea for him to speak to someone.

That having been said, I can also empathize with his reluctance. At first, I didn't want to talk to the psychologist Dr. Sato referred me to either, but now I actually kinda like him. The initial referral was supposed to have been to talk about the emotional effects of my accident, but I told him I can get over that by myself, so we discuss other stuff instead. I've talked to him about the death of my dad and sister, the stress of being the main caregiver for somebody with a chronic illness, and the challenges of being an immigrant.

He says I'm psychologically healthy and that I don't need long-term therapy. I agree one hundred percent, but having someone objective to confess all my doubts and insecurities to has really helped me feel a lot better mentally. I'm happy to have that support, to go along with the support I'm getting for my physical recovery.

We'll see how it goes with Yuri and his psychologist. I'm envisioning hysterical outbursts, but I'm sure one of us will let you know what happens for sure.

Okay, I guess now it’s time to tell you about Seiji and what happened on Sunday afternoon.

I'd been with Yuri for the morning on Sunday. Mom and Julian picked me up around noon, just after Yuri's grandmother arrived to visit with him. She had Yuki with her as well, so it was probably a good thing I was leaving. According to Yuri, the energy of me and Yuki together in a room can sometimes be a bit overwhelming for other people. The last thing he needed was to deal with that.

Anyway, Mom, Julian and I had lunch at my favourite sushi bar, which was kind of chaotic because neither of them knows how to use chopsticks and even though I'm a chopstick wizard, I can't use them right now either. We all ate with our fingers, which earned us a lot of disapproving stares. I think people were mostly staring at me because I was picking up pieces of maki with the fingertips of both hands together, but I didn't care.

Back at home, stuffed to the brim with salmon, eel, rice and vegetables, I was ready for a nap on the couch and was not at all expecting my phone to ring. When it did, I was startled out of my drowsy stupor, and nearly fell off the sofa. Then, I recognized Seiji's number on the caller ID and all thoughts of napping suddenly dissipated like mist.

I tapped the 'answer' icon on my phone's screen, and didn't even bother with hello.

"Hinamori-san! Where the hell have you been?" I demanded. "Sakura and I have been trying to reach you for days, you know."

"We're not on a first-name basis now, Nelson-san?" was his testy response.

"Really, Seiji? You ghost me for days, and you're annoyed with me?"

"Sorry.”

"Yeah, you should be."

"I wasn't ready to talk," he said. "I went out to the country, to my grandparents' estate, 'cause I just needed to get away for a while."

"What for?" I asked. "And why didn't you tell Masao you were going? Why didn't you tell Takahiro and Fox? Like, how do you leave town without even telling your best friend and his boyfriend?"

"I headed out when Taka was at work," Seiji confessed. "I left him a note."

"You... No, you know what? Never mind," I said. "Why did you need to get away. Did something happen?"

"Did something happen?" he repeated, his tone incredulous. "Dude, are you kidding me right now? How are you even asking that? Like, what do you think happened?"

"I... don't know." I said, perplexed.

"You're so stupid, Victor.” He sounded as though he meant it.

I did my best to force down the familiar sting of humiliation at hearing that. Kids at school used to call me stupid, and it’d always made me feel horrible. My inner child wanted to cover his ears and hide under the nearest desk so he could cry without drawing even more ridicule.

But then, a little voice in my brain that sounded very much like Sayuri Ishida's seemed to whisper, that's not true.

It really isn't true, and I need to keep reminding myself of it. Dr. Ishida had put that monster from my past to rest, once and for all, and I used her words like a shield in my mind. You have an eye condition called hyperopia. Your ability to read is normal. Your intelligence is above average.

“I’m not stupid,” I said, as calmly as I could manage. It was mostly for my own benefit, but still, I wasn’t interested In letting Seiji’s dig at me go so easily.

Seiji made a dismissive snorting noise. “Whatever. Must be the head injury, then.”

I pulled in a deep breath. "Seiji, listen. I really don’t know what you’re talking about. Can you please tell me what's going on? Me and Sakura and Masao have been worried about you.”

“Masao should know,” he said.

“Maybe, but Sakura and I don’t.”

Several seconds passed before Seiji finally spoke again. “Fine. I guess I owe you some kind of explanation. Can you… are you like, okay to go out? I don’t want to talk about it on the phone, but Taka said you’re in a wheelchair and…uh, you know…”

“I’m not in a wheelchair,” I said. “I had to use one for like, maybe three days after I got out of the hospital. That’s all.”

“So, you can go out?”

“Yeah, but you’ll have to come and get me if you want me to go somewhere with you. I’m not cleared to drive yet.”

"When's a good time?"

"Now? I'm not doing much, so whenever works for you, works for me."

"Okay," he said. "If you literally meant now, I can be there to pick you up in like, twenty minutes."

"That sounds good," I agreed. "That gives me plenty of time to grab some water and throw on a sweater."

You're at home, right?"

"I'm at home. See you when you get here."

He showed up about twenty-five minutes later, looking like he'd spent the week in a tent rather than living in luxury at his grandparents' sprawling country estate. His hair was a mess, there were dark smudges beneath his eyes, and he was moving like he was the one who was injured. He looked like he hadn't gotten more than a few hours sleep in the last several days.

"You look worse than I do," I commented, once we'd exchanged greetings.

"You look... surprisingly good," he remarked. He sort of nodded at my arms, where the bottom of my casts were peeking out past the ends of my slightly too-long sleeves. "You know, except for that."

"I'll be rid of these in a few more weeks."

"And then what? Back to the mountain?"

"Naturally," I said.

I couldn't interpret the expression that passed across his features. It didn't last long, but I hadn't missed it, and it could've been anything from disbelief to worry to disapproval. It could've been some combination of all three.

"Let's get going," he said, and although neither of us verbally acknowledged it, we both blatantly pretended the previous few seconds hadn't happened.

The car ride was weird. Normally, Seiji and I would be joking and laughing, listening to music a bit too loud, and talking about our favourite subjects. This time, we were silent, and the only sound in the car was Snowflake by Arashi, playing quietly on repeat.

Where we eventually ended up was in the valley, in Hanamigawa Park. The last time I'd been there was on Yuri's birthday, back in September. The park had been vibrant with colour then. Now, it was brown and grey and dismal, the last vestiges of winter not quite having given way to the tenuous first signs of spring.

We got out of the car, and I followed Seiji across the grass until we came to a bench.

"So...?" I prompted, after it felt like we'd sat there for at least five minutes, staring at our shoes.

"So, what?"

"About that explanation you owe me."

"Yeah." He scuffed the toe of his boot on the ground. "I've been thinking."

"About what?"

"I'm going to move to the city. Try to get a grown-up job. Maybe go back to college or something."

"What are you talking about?" I said. "Your job with the Recreation Association is a grown-up job. There's a lot of responsibility in teaching people how to ski and snowboard."

"It's not the kind of responsibility I want any more, if I ever did."

"What?"

"I quit," he said.

"You quit your job?"

"I quit everything."

At that, an awkward silence stretched between us for several seconds because I had no idea how to respond. I wasn't sure what he meant by 'everything'. I thought I could guess, but I didn't want to assume.

When the lull was starting to feel too long, I finally ventured, "Define 'everything'."

"Everything," he repeated. "I quit my job, I told Taka I'm moving out, and I'm hanging up my board. Masao already knows, so don't bother to ask if I've told him."

"You're not going to compete any more?"

"I'm not going to snowboard any more."

I stared at him. "Why?"

As if it were too difficult to hold my gaze, he looked away from me and began to fidget with his hands. "I can't do it any more," he said.

"But... why?"

"You know how people say the mountain is magical? That there's a guardian spirit?"

"Yeah."

"It's just a story," he said. "The mountain is nothing but a cold, dead rock, and it'll take everything from you with no regrets. With no feelings at all. I named my snowboard because, for some dumb reason, I let myself think it had some kind of spirit inside too, but you know what? It's just another lifeless object."

I had to admit that what he said was correct. From a purely factual standpoint, the mountain is rock and snow, and snowboards are just Fiberglas and wood or carbon, but I have to admit I like the idea of there being something more to them than that. I love the stories of the mountain spirit Yukimatsu and his beautiful sword Shirayuki, and I believe that Elsa is more than a piece of sports equipment. When Elsa and I are flying down the mountainside, I definitely feel something from her, and sometimes I imagine I can hear her singing.

"I thought you loved snowboarding," I said.

“Maybe I used to. Or maybe I still do, but it's like a toxic relationship that you can't seem to leave until it's almost too late. Like, you can't make yourself get out of it until it steals every last bit of hope and happiness you ever had."

"I don't understand," I said, because I really didn't.

"Do you know, I think I might've accidentally hurt Masao, trying to get to you when I saw you go down?" he said. "You know how tiny he is, and he was trying to hold me back."

"I didn't know," I said.

"If it wasn't for Fox, I probably would've..." He didn't complete the thought, but instead continued with. "Takahiro said I was literally screaming. The thing is, though, I don't remember. I don't remember Masao grabbing me, or me knocking him to the ground or... anything. All I could think was, you could be dying and the people you care about most wouldn't even be beside you."

"Obviously I didn't die."

"Yeah, but how were any of us supposed to know that at the time? You didn't see it the way we saw it. Masao said it looked like you could've broken your neck, and I... I couldn't handle losing somebody else like that."

It took a second for my brain to register what he'd just said. Somebody else. Had he seen another snowboarder go down like I had? Someone who hadn't been as lucky as me?

"Who...?" I began, but quickly closed my mouth because something told me I shouldn't pry.

But, it was too late to worry about it when Seiji started to answer anyway. "Didn't Yuri ever tell you about Tsubaki?"

I tried to recall if Yuri had ever mentioned anyone by that name. "I don't think so. Who is she?"

"I thought he told you everything," Seiji said.

"Apparently not."

"Tsubaki was our..." he trailed off, and then amended. "She was the woman I loved."

"Oh."

"She was our teacher in our final year of high school," he went on. "Me, Taka and Yuri were in the same class, so we all knew her. She wasn't that much older than us and most of the boys in our year had a crush on her, but for whatever reason, she liked me and Taka best. Maybe 'cause she was into snowboarding like we were."

"You went snowboarding with your teacher?"

"Not while she was our teacher," he said. "But, we all talked about it all the time, and we'd see her up on the mountain on the weekends."

I'd seen one of my high school teachers skiing on Granite Mountain once. It had felt strange and out of context to me, and I'd tried to pretend I hadn't even noticed him. But, regardless of my effort to ignore him, the rare sighting of my chemistry teacher outside his natural habitat had been enough to distract me, and it resulted in me getting yelled at by my coach at the time.

I'm sure I succeeded in forgetting about it almost immediately afterward, and I’d never even dreamed of bringing it up with him at school. I couldn’t help but winder what it would've been like to have a teacher like Tsubaki, who I could've geeked out about snowboarding with.

"Seems like she would've been a cool person to know."

"She was amazing," he said. "When we graduated, she said we could call her by her given name, and we became friends. We all used to hang out, me Taka, Yuri, Tsubaki and her best friend Mei. We went snowboarding together then, and we did other stuff like going on road trips or going to someone's place for a meal and to play games or watch movies. Or just talk. Tsubaki and I talked a lot."

"What happened?" I asked.

"With me and her?" he said. "She always told me that she didn't want to have a relationship with me, but towards the end, I felt like things were changing between us. She was starting to treat me less like a friend and more like... well, not a boyfriend exactly, but something deeper than snow buddies, you know?" He sighed. "Then everything... ended."

"I'm sorry," I said.

"Yuri really never told you about any of this? He never told you about Tsubaki's accident? How she..." He paused, closing his eyes. "How the mountain took her from me."

It was at that point when I realized Yuri actually had told me. I hadn't made the connection immediately because he hadn't gone into detail and hadn't used Tsubaki's name, and I hadn't wanted to press him for information. "He mentioned he had a friend who died in a snowboarding accident," I said. "We didn't talk much about it."

That figures. Yuri wasn't that close to her anyway." He gave a little shrug. "Yuri doesn't know how to be close to people.”

“That’s not true.”

“Isn’t it?”

“Are you saying he’s not close to you?” I asked.

“Dude, from where I’m standing, he’s not even all that close to you,” he said. “I mean, where the hell was he when you needed him? At work, and even when all of us were at the hospital with you and we were trying to call him, he ignored us. You know how many times Taka tried to reach him?”

“He was probably in a meeting,” I said.

“Why wasn’t he on the mountain with you? That’s where he should’ve been.”

"His job is important, Seiji. Besides, what happened probably would've happened anyway, even if he had been there.”

"That's not the point," Seiji said. "The point is, he doesn't care about anybody but himself. Why was it you and Sakura who were checking on me? He's supposed to be my friend."

"Sakura and I are your friends too," I reminded him. "Yuri couldn't check on you. He's been in the hospital since Tuesday."

"So what? He's too sick to send a text?"

"Yeah, as a matter of fact, he was." I met his gaze. "Are you seriously mad at Yuri because he didn't text you for a week?"

“I’m mad at him because he’s an asshole. Because he got someone he doesn’t appreciate or even deserve.”

“So, you’re not actually mad at him. You’re jealous.”

“Whatever,” he said. “I know you love him, but wouldn't it be better to love somebody who gives a shit about you? If you'd died out there, he would've just carried on with life as normal."

"No, he wouldn't," I said. "You obviously don't know him as well as you think you do, if that's what you believe."

"I know him well enough," he said. "I've never seen him shed a tear over anything or anyone. But you? You treat everybody like they matter, and you deserve at least that much in return."

"Everyone deserves to be treated like they matter because everyone does matter," I said. "Where are you even going with this?"

"You didn't have to come halfway around the world for Yuri. You could've stayed safe at home and had anyone you wanted.”

“I want Yuri,” I said simply.

"I don't know why. He's a crappy partner."

“Yuri loves me just as much as I love him, and he treats me like I matter," I said. "Maybe you’re convinced he’s a crappy partner because he wasn’t where you thought he should be, but that’s not how it works. We don’t get to script real life to our tastes. It just happens, and sometimes it sucks, and then we gotta figure out how to deal with it.”

“You think I don’t know that?"

"Do you?"

"My life has sucked for the last three and a half years," he declared. "Worse than yours, probably.”

“My life doesn't suck," I said. "There are parts of it that suck. Like, everything's not always easy or fun, but overall it's good, and I'm happy."

"Then, you're delusional." He got up abruptly and started to walk away. "This was a waste of time."

Stunned by the suddenness of his decision to leave, I stared at his retreating figure for several seconds. When I pulled my wits back into place at last, I had to run — contrary to doctor’s orders — to catch up to him.

"Seiji, wait!" I called. "We're not done."

He glared at me. “Yes, we are.”

"You said you were going to give me an explanation."

"I did. It's not my fault that you're too dumb to figure it out."

That was the precise moment in which I lost my temper. I think that if I could've grabbed him and shook him, I would have, but maybe it was a good thing I couldn't.

"I'm not dumb!" I yelled. "I'm sick and tired of everyone saying I'm stupid! I'm probably smarter than you, but I'm not a damn mind reader, so if you want me to understand something, then explain it in a way that makes sense!"

"Fine!" he said. "You want it in language your brain can handle? Here it is. I'm done pretending I'm okay. I don't want to be in this place, hanging around with people who remind me how useless I am and how much I've lost. I don't want to be on that damn mountain every day, thinking of her."

“But—”

"I can't keep running the risk of putting my parents through what her parents had to go through. What I had to go through. It's not worth it. I'd rather have nothing myself than to leave my family with nothing."

"But, there's lots of other stuff—" I began.

“There isn't," he said. "Snowboarding was the only thing I was good at. I’ve failed at everything else. Like, I was rubbish in school, and I was useless as a medic. I couldn’t even…”

“What?”

“There was only snowboarding, but you know what? Snowboarding fucking wrecked my life, Victor! There's no part that it didn't touch, and I can't fix anything now. All I can do now is protect the people I love, and try to forget it."

By the time he was done with this speech, he was crying. Evidently not wanting me to see that, he wiped his sleeve across his eyes so fiercely that I'm sure it must've hurt.

"Seiji—"

"Leave me alone," he said.

“You’ll never forget, you know.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You can go to the city if you want,” I said. “You can go to the other side of the world or a whole other planet, but you're never gonna outrun grief or anger or whatever. You might think you feel better for a while but there's really no place far enough away to escape from it."

"What the hell would you know about it?"

"You might be surprised by what I know about it," I told him. "But I'm not gonna give you a lecture. If you’re not ready, you wouldn't listen anyway.”

"I doubt you know about it like I do," he said.

"Maybe not exactly in the same way you do," I conceded. "But, you know what? I get what it's like when somebody who was the center of your world suddenly isn't there any more."

There was a lot more I could've said. I wanted to tell him I know what it feels like to think about someone every single day and picture how the future might've been different if they were still around. I often wonder about all the stuff Dad and Caroline and I might've said to each other, and all the ways I could've been a better person when they were alive, and how they'll never know what i learned because of them, and who I became because of them.

Tears were still leaking from Seiji's eyes, but he wasn't trying to hide them any more. As I watched, he stood there with his head bowed and whispered, "I couldn't save her. No one could."

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

He shook his head, but regardless of that, he started telling me anyway. "It was just a normal Saturday," he said. "I was working with Mountain Patrol, and my team got the call about an accident up on the expert run. I didn't know it was her until we got there. The advanced care paramedic on our team took one look at her and somehow he knew right away that her neck was broken. It was really bad."

"That had to have been a shock."

"They took her in a helicopter down to the hospital in the valley." He went on as if I hadn't spoken. "You know, to assess her and try to stabilize her. They might've rushed her to one of the big hospitals in Kyoto afterwards, but... there wasn't time. Her parents were in Tokyo, and there wasn't time for them to get here, either. Me and Taka were the only ones with her, and I don't know if she was aware of us being there, but I was holding her hand when she passed."

"I'm sorry," I said.

I thought about my mom. I hadn't found out until many years later that she'd been with my dad in the hospital when he passed and had been able to say goodbye to him one last time. Caroline had been killed almost instantly, so Mom didn't get that final goodbye with her, and I can't decide if that was a blessing or not.

I mean, I can't wrap my head around how terrifying and soul-shattering it'd be to hold your baby as she took her last breath. Watching your partner die would be devastating enough, but losing a child...? And my mom had to suffer through both. The pain she felt must've been immeasurable, making even mine seem minor in comparison.

I don't know how she handled it. I don't know how she survived it. I think if something happened to take Yuri away from me, I'd die too, of a broken heart. Or maybe I wouldn't literally die, but I'd wish to stop existing if he wasn't by my side.

I had to resist the urge to hug Seiji as he stood there crying. His whole body was visibly rigid, and I knew he wouldn't want me to touch him. Takahiro probably would have if he were there, but Taka the compulsive hugger could get away with it and Seiji might even relax enough to reciprocate. In fact, Taka is the only person I've ever seen give Seiji a hug that didn't look unnatural or uncomfortable. Had Seiji always been that way, or had his trauma caused him to change?

He swiped at his eyes with the back of his hand. "Sorry," he mumbled. "I shouldn't have told you all that."

"It's okay. You must've needed to say it."

"Maybe. It was just... that thing you said. About somebody being the center of your world? She was, you know. She would've been, for the rest of our lives. I would've taken care of her, and I think we would've been happy, but... None of that's gonna happen now."

"Have you ever talked about this with anybody before?" I asked.

"Only Taka," he said. "He's the only one who understands. Everybody else thinks it's ridiculous 'cause we weren't even in a relationship."

"A friendship is a relationship. So what if you weren't her boyfriend? That doesn't mean it should hurt less."

"You don't think I'm like, being dramatic or whatever?"

"Why should I think that?" I said. "I don't have the right to tell you how you're supposed to feel or what your grief is supposed to look like, do I? Maybe you're like Yuri and you hardly ever cry for anything, no matter how destroyed you feel, or maybe you're like me and you cry over every little thing, or maybe you're somewhere in between. It doesn't matter. It's all valid."

"Thank you."

"You don't need to thank me for letting you feel however you feel."

"Yeah, I do. Most people would judge me for it."

"I'm not into judging other people for their feelings," I said. "I've got plenty of my own that I'm busy judging myself for."

"You shouldn't. Like, if you can tell me my feelings are okay, you can tell yourself that."

I offered him what was probably a lopsided smile. "I'm working on it. My psychologist says I have to stop creating burdens for myself."

"You're seeing a therapist?"

"Yeah. Unbelievable, right? My doctor referred me to him after my accident, but we've been talking about everything. He's helping me get perspective."

"Perspective," Seiji repeated, as if he were contemplating it.

"You know," I said. "Like how some stuff in your life seems so big and overwhelming, you don't know how you're supposed to deal with it? Sometimes you have to break the situation down and manage it bit by bit."

"Like learning a trick," he said.

"Exactly. Remember when you first learned to ride? There were probably lots of people around you doing all kinds of crazy tricks, and you couldn't even do an ollie yet. Now, you're the one who's flying, but you had to build up to it, one skill at a time."

"So, how am I supposed to do it?"

"I don't know," I admitted. "Maybe start off with figuring out what's really going on in your head. Like, are you sad or angry or scared, or what? And then... I don't know. Ask yourself exactly why. Like, if you're angry at a specific person, or you're scared about a certain thing."

He nodded. "I guess that makes sense. But... do you think I need professional help for that?"

"Maybe? I'm probably the last person you should ask about that. I didn't even know I needed professional help until I was getting it."

"But, it's working, right?"

"Yeah, but it's not magic. You have to want to get your shit together before you can get your shit together, and you have to work at it."

"Good to know."

"Listen," I said. "Everything's gonna be okay. It may take a while, and it might not look exactly how you wanted it to, but it eventually does get better."

"Thanks."

This time, I could feel my smile in my entire face. "You're welcome, but give credit to Yuri, too. He taught me that."

"Yuri taught you optimism?"

"He taught me about resilience," I said. “That’s better than optimism.”

“How so?”

"’Cause it’s realistic. And it’s honest.”

“I see how optimism can be unrealistic.”

“Resilience is sort of like body armour,” I said. “Having it on doesn't mean nothing ever hurts you. Sometimes it hurts like hell, but you get through it and you survive, and eventually the pain isn’t so bad any more. Yuri's constantly showing me that, whether he realizes he is or not."

"Okay," was all he said in response.

He started walking again, in the direction of the park gates. I fell into step beside him, and the quiet between us this time didn't feel quite so fraught.

When we reached the place where we'd left his car, I asked, "What are you going to do now?"

"Take you home, I guess," he said.

"I meant in general."

"Oh." He shrugged. "I don't know. I'm going to Kyoto tomorrow. I've got a couple of appointments to view apartments. Do you want to come?"

"So, you're definitely moving?"

"I guess so."

"What kind of job do you think you'll get when you move there?"

"Does it matter?"

"Not really," I said. "I was just curious."

"I'll probably end up in a convenience store," he said. "But, I was training to be a paramedic before, so I might be okay at taking care of sick people at home or something. And I like kids, so maybe I'd do all right working in a daycare. Or tailoring. I learned how to draft patterns and sew from my mother, so I could probably do that."

"I didn't realize you were training to be a paramedic. When you said 'medic' before, I thought you meant you had the certified mountain rescue course. The advanced first aid one."

"I do have that certification," he said. "But, I was in college for paramedicine. After she... after Tsubaki died, I dropped out because couldn't handle it any more."

"How far did you get?"

"Not very far. I finished the first in-class module, and Mountain Patrol was my first part-time clinical placement. That was it." He made a face that might've been self-disgust. "Useless, right?"

"Not necessarily," I said.

"What?"

An idea was starting to form in my head, but I didn't want to say too much to Seiji until I'd had a chance to talk to Yuri about it first. "You think you could drop me off at the hospital instead of at my house?"

"I'll drop you off anywhere you want," he said. "But, what'd you mean?"

"About you quitting college?"

"Yeah."

"There might be more options for you than snowboarding or working in some dodgy convenience store in the city."

"Right."

"I'll come with you to Kyoto tomorrow," I said.

He frowned at me. "You've got some kind of ulterior motive, don't you?"

"Maybe."

"You're trying to convince me not to move."

"No, I'm not trying to do that. If you want to check out the opportunities in Kyoto, there's no reason not to. All I'm saying is that you might want to go there with something better in mind than working at a convenience store. Like, if you're serious about home care or child care, maybe try it out and see if you like it before you take off to the city and commit yourself to a lease and everything."

"You think I should do that in Mt. Komorebi?"

"Think of it as a safety net," I said. "Stay home for a bit longer, try some different stuff and find out what you really want. Then go off and chase your dream, whatever it is."

"What if I really don't want to stay here?" he said.

"Nobody can force you to stay. All I'm saying is, before you leave, make sure you're deciding and not just reacting."

"Okay," he said. "But I still feel like you're up to something."

"I'll tell you about it tomorrow," I said.

"I'm not going along with it, whatever it is."

"You don't have to go along with it, but you should at least wait to hear what it is."

He drew back his arm as if he were going to punch me, but only flicked my shoulder instead. "You're a massive pain in the ass, you know."

"Yeah," I said. "I hear that a lot, but for some reason, people love me anyway."

"I hate you," he growled, but I knew he wasn't being serious. "Get in the car, Nelson. Wouldn't want to keep you from your pain in the ass other half."

"You didn't really mean what you said about him before, did you?"

If I was expecting an apology or a retraction, I would've been disappointed.

“Some of it,” Seiji said. “He is an asshole, and you seriously could've done better, but if you're happy..." He raised his hands in a gesture that seemed to indicate there was no further comment he could offer. "Anyway, you can tell him I'll come by and see him in a day or two. I'll make Taka and Fox come too, if they haven't been there yet, and I'll bring daifuku mochi. The strawberry kind."

"He's not eating," I said.

"Since when has Yuri ever said no to strawberry mochi? Me and Taka have literally seen him too weak to sit up, and he’d still be lying there demanding a little bite of our strawberry mochi. It's his all-time favourite. That, and tinned peaches, but they're probably already on the lunch menu at the hospital."

"How do you—"

"Just tell him," Seiji said, "And tell him I'll even feed him if he needs me to. Oh, and also tell him to expect a huge piece of my mind for what he did to you. He had no business abandoning you like that, and he definitely has no business taking you for granted. Actually, having somebody as devoted to his pathetic little ass as you are, he should consider himself the luckiest person in the universe."

I didn't show it on the outside, but inwardly, I was both relieved and amused. It might not be an apology, but I figured this was as close as Seiji would get to saying he still considers Yuri his friend.

Even if I hadn't liked hearing what he'd said about my husband, I couldn't blame Seiji for being upset. From Seiji's point of view, maybe Yuri's behaviour after my accident had looked horrible and uncaring, but Seiji hadn't seen him in my room with me immediately after. He hadn't heard the pain and guilt in Yuri's voice when he told me over and over that he was sorry, and he hadn't seen how hard Yuri worked to help me at home when he really should've been resting himself.

"I'll tell him," I said. "I think he'll be glad to see you."

"Yeah, whatever." He opened the passenger door for me, and I climbed into the car. A moment later, he slid into the driver's seat. "I'm leaving for Kyoto at eight in the morning. You'd better be up and dressed when I get to your place."

"Don't worry," I assured him. "I'll be ready."

((More about Seiji & Tsubaki from a different perspective, for anyone curious))

#ts4 #sims 4 #eagames #snowy escape #victorsworldadventures #victor nelson #seiji hinamori #tw death #dw accident #tw illness #tw chronic illness #tw hospital #tw trauma #tw therapy #stargazersims

23 notes · View notes

spock-pewds-louise · 1 year

Text

Wow, uh okay so there's a thing going on with Pewds...

He got an urine infection, and that's just an annoying thing for humans to have but its apparently deadly for cats if not treated fast. Like I'm talking 3-6 days of having it untreated can be fatal😖

I texted the vet on saturday night and told them what was going on and if it was normal or what I should do, they answered at 6am on saturday (cuz who sleeps anyways? Clearly not me)

They told me to call the emergency vet and tell them, I did and he called the only open vet in the area, AND then we had an appointment asap.

I called mom and she basically ran out the door (and told me she didnt even take time to put on a bra xD)

She came and picked me and Pewds up, let me just say that shes like almost 15mins away, but she got here f a s t

We arrive and I tell the vet that hes been struggling to pee for almost 2 days, hes hissing and growling (not to me or the other cats), hes drinking water and have been kinda meh on the food.

I changed the food cuz they all started to throw up by the food theyve had for 10years...

And I told him I havent been the best at changing the litterboxes, or emptying them...

And the cats are fucking champs, they will only go in the box, even if. But it's not a "wow my cats adapted to my depression, awesome" its fucking serious, if fucked up BAD.

Because, the food I started giving them gave Pewds more crystals, cuz cat food have that for some reason, and if you dont change out sand and poop scoop often, that can ALSO give them urine infection.

AND its "common" for elderly and sterile male cats to get the infection, so that's a thing to remember.

Is it my fault? Dont know, could I've prevented it? Possibly.

Am I gonna be fucking better? Absolutely!

Back to the status of Pewds

After he stopped being all drugged up, he just looked genuinely pissed, which I get.

Drinking water, trying to pee, sleeping A LOT and only when I pick him up and put him on my lap, he starts to seem like Pewds again🥺

Headbuts, washing my face (trying not to remember hes constantly washing himself), purring and holding onto me in his sleep.

I've been inside the bathroom with him for hours, towel, a pillow and a blanket, and I've been up against a wall and Pewds on my lap or close to me as I've slept (and my neck and ass hurts like hell) hes peed on me, and I've let him cuz poor boi.

His wet food, given by the vet, that smells worse than any other I've smelled:

Come sunday night, 3am.

I've googled and learned all I wrote on top, and I'm sobbing, having a full on panic attack, just holding him and breaks and try not to cry on him.

I call the emergency vet dude again, tell him it's me from Saturday morning, update him and let him know about Pewds current behaviour and if it's ok, is it normal?

I tried not to cry on the phone, but I basically thought he was declining cuz of me.

But!

Everything is as it should be, all hes doing is normal, sleeping more is fine, didnt eat ALL the wet food? As long as hes eating, hes fine.

Randoming peeing with a tiny but of red colouring? Normal and fine.

So I calmed down, and sat with Pewds until I went back out to sleep. Woke up 3 hours later, put him in the cage and sat it in the hallway and I cleaned the bathroom, since it stank of piss, now hes just sleeping and relaxing, he seems fine, and nothing is screaming danger.

Google have helped, I talked to a dude I have on xbox cuz hes had a cat that *died* cuz they didnt catch it in time. So I'm lucky, Pewds is lucky.

Now we're just waiting for tomorrow, Tuesday, to see what the vet says.

Updates this post then.

Here is a fresh pic of him now:

#cat #cats #catlife #cat pictures #pictures of cats #cats cats cats #crazy cat lady #cute cats #sick cat #illness

7 notes · View notes

eastofakkala · 2 years

Text

I posted 222 times in 2022

That's 218 more posts than 2021!

63 posts created (28%)

159 posts reblogged (72%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@glitterlessgold

@jaimebluesq

@little-smartass

@layzeal

@scarlet-gryphon

I tagged 217 of my posts in 2022

Only 2% of my posts had no tags

#the untamed - 49 posts

#untamed fic - 29 posts

#nie huaisang - 20 posts

#fanart - 19 posts

#lan xichen - 19 posts

#writer things - 19 posts

#nie mingjue - 17 posts

#dgtw - 15 posts

#fanfic - 14 posts

#hahahahaha - 12 posts

Longest Tag: 107 characters

#nice to know that coming second in the county spelling bee has actual implications for how my life has gone

My Top Posts in 2022:

I published chapter 2 of The Dog Star, the full-length sequel to The Nightmare Which Saved the World. “Tidings of Comfort and Joy” acts as a oneshot sequel to them both.

In this chapter: a meeting of the prefects, a cameo by Cedric Diggory, and mostly just exposition. We will return to our regularly-scheduled programming next Tuesday!

9 notes - Posted January 11, 2022

I made this meme before getting to the end of the show, so had no idea just how incredibly freaking accurate it is.

9 notes - Posted November 14, 2022

The Untamed Dads: A Definitive* Ranking

*I thought about this for twenty minutes and know I'm gonna get blowback. Also no one in Yi City is included because XXC and XY didn’t really give me “dad” vibes so much as “older bro” vibes. Sorry guys.

Lan Wangji: Is he officially Sizhui’s dad or just a “primary caretaker”? I don’t care. He rocked it with the kid. He took a perfectly nice little boy and helped him grow up into a perfectly nice young adult who clearly feels supported and loved! Good job, Wangji! Edges WWX out solely by longevity.

Wei Wuxian: Wasn’t around much for A-Yuan’s childhood, but the fact that A-Yuan looked back on being a little kid and saw so much joy and not the fact that he was in terrible circumstances means that Wei Wuxian is also objectively better than 80% of this list.

Sect Leader Nie: Pretty much nothing is known about him, but he still manages to out-dad most of the other dads since his children don’t hate each other and most of their problems do not involve his parenting.

Wei Changze: We see very little of him and in it he seems nice. Good job Wei Changze, by seeming sweet in one memory you are better than 70% of dads on this show.

A-Yan’s dad: Gave his soul for his daughter. Would be higher up if we knew more about him.

Mianmian’s husband: Has no name and shows up in one scene as a loving father. Still about at the midpoint of this list. Would also be higher up if we knew about him.

Jin Zixuan: Clearly headed towards S-tier dadness, but sadly only got to be a dad for longer than a month.

Sect Leader Ouyang: He made an awesome kid who’s not afraid to call him out. Therefore not a TERRIBLE dad, just a dad with terrible takes.

Wen Ruohan: His dadness made even less of an impression on me than Sect Leader Ouyang’s. Ranked a bit lower because his kids have serious issues. May or may not be his fault. Is kinda an evil overlord.

Jiang Fengmian: Tried. Gave his children a shitton of issues, so I’d say he failed. Badly.

Jin Guangyao: The fact that he probably killed his child and isn’t at the bottom of this list really says something.

Qingheng-jun: If your kids are terrified of becoming you, then congratulations, you’ve failed at parenting forever.

Jin Guangshan: Does this even have to be said?

13 notes - Posted August 31, 2022

Confession: I don't know why I really like the concept of throuples in fiction and why I ship so many (and have created my own fictional throuples), but I know whose fault it is:

(Photo from here).

Those three awoke something in me, man...

35 notes - Posted October 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Hot take: Modern AU versions of Huaisang’s aesthetic usually boil down to “hot girl summer”: crop tops, shorts, wild clothes, etc. Shouldn’t he be “dark academia” instead?

Look at what he usually wears in-canon. There’s no one more wrapped up than he is! You tell me that Modern AU Huaisang would not be into sweaters and jackets and horn-rimmed glasses and know how to accessorize like the best of them.

TL;DR Give me dark academia Huaisang!

339 notes - Posted October 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #Of course glitterlessgold was my favorite creator in 2022 #And will be forever

4 notes · View notes

isntthatwrite · 7 days

Text

Week of 9/16-9/22

Card for this week: Empress (reversed) - what contrast to last week's Emperor upright! the call for self care is loud as fuck. some might be "girlbossing too hard" these days. others may be doing the classic "take care of everyone else.... at your own expense". either way, you've had it. set aside a time for non-negotiable You time this week. let yourself recognize frustrations and when you might be picking yourself apart, honor those feelings and sit with them, and make that time for something "self indulgent" afterward. i'm feeling lots of old patterns re-emerging these days, things you thought you had moved past, and the resulting frustration that those can just reappear so nonchalantly. as annoying as this is, they are reappearing to be resolved! you will see how far you've come and how much you don't need to hold on to your old coping mechanisms or harsh ways of seeing yourself. you do not exist to simply take care of everyone else!

Transits/Astro forecast: hope everyone had a nice productive time last week! to put it simply, i am currently completing a free coursera course i bookmarked back in 2019. it was serious for me last week. this week shifts focus a bit toward past cycles we are ready to release and dream worlds we are looking to build. as we know- current rxs are chiron, saturn, uranus, neptune (topical this week!), pluto (back into capricorn One Last Time).

we have the lunar eclipse/full moon in pisces, lots of retrograde outer planet/sun contacts, and the start of libra season this week. Fall Has Arrived. i find it poetic how the autumnal equinox is always the start of libra season and one of the two days each year where the hours of daylight are exactly equal to the hours of night/darkness. balance. anyway, this week's motto is something like "why can't i do the thing i've been wanting to do?". notice all the ways you've subconsciously held yourself back. you're ready to let those go now. also, please let yourself rest this week when you're tired. this feels like it could get exhausting.

as for specifics-

tuesday 9/17 - lunar eclipse/full moon in pisces loosely conjunct neptune - could be some crazy dreams this week. so begins another eclipse season (until early october's solar eclipse). general vibe here is Lots of Feelings, rapid change, fated events. plot building moments. last eclipse featuring pisces was late february 2017, something going on back then could be coming back up now. neptune along with this piscean energy is likely to create distortions and emotional turbulence - let yourself ride the wave before coming to any big decisions. new chapters will emerge from what you'll be releasing this week, just give yourself time to process.

wednesday 9/18 - mercury opposite saturn rx - fight that inner critic!!!!!! you've worked really hard this year. and in life overall. you know the distortions are not truths and mistakes are allowed.

thursday 9/19 - sun trine uranus rx - the world loves your quirks and things you think you have to hide. that one person who insulted you in middle school doesn't know anything about you. come back!

friday 9/20 - sun opposite neptune rx - kinda crazy consistent energy here this week.... your haters are a social experiment. don't let confusions and deception sway you into believing you should be something you're not.

saturday 9/21 - mercury square jupiter rx and sun trine pluto rx - be inquisitive and curious this week. big Fuck Around and Find Out (affirmative) vibe. dare to ask the forbidden questions and receive answers you couldn't possibly have prepared for. shift your paradigm!

sunday 9/22 - sun enters libra/autumnal equinox, venus square pluto, venus enters scorpio - wowwww lots of shifting this whole week. libra and beauty/charm/grace enter the room first, then a whole bunch of plutonian energy comes in to get us thinking about what we realllly want. this is almost halfway between the eclipses as well, so many of us will be really feeling these Fated Events TM. deep relationship conversations/internal feelings emerging. this might be a day for that Self Love......

as i write this, there is a gorgeous grand trine between the moon, venus, and jupiter. beautiful, free flowing and loving energy after a lot of really self critical and harsher aspects lately. if i were one of the ig spirituality influencer girls, i'd call this "yummy" energy. this along with the Empress in reverse as the card of the week tells me there's such a need for unconditional self love this week. the kind of love you mentally reserve for a soulmate, the dedication and passion - give yourself some of that! going into libra season, remember that you are a major component in your partnerships, not an afterthought. love you, divas. you deserve the world.

0 notes

skinni-girls-eat-books · 5 months

Text

Wednesday, April 24th, 2024!

Day 9 :) 🥳

6:23am: God I feel amazing right now I'm so proud of myself :') I love my life. Did a little grocery shopping last night, new litter box, gonna get my brakes done today. Life is good! Amen!! Everyday is a new day and I get to live it however I choose to. ❤️

11:40pm: Day 9 complete! It feels like 9 months. I'm not even joking. Once you start dating other people it's just like who? My focus is elsewhere. Texting a guy for two nights straight and don't know what to think?? Kinda odd, seems kinda nervous as hell but I don't know why exactly. Definitely a little neuro spicy but I can't specify. I think he thinks we're exclusive but we haven't met in person yet?? Don't really want to burst his bubble but that's not exactly how I work rn. Unadded me from tinder after having a semi serious conversation with him but again..... I haven't seen you in person yet so it's not really giving exclusive to me homie. Plus he literally declined my date offer for Tuesday night after I asked him yesterday if weeknights were ok to hang. It's giving weeknights are ok to bang but not hang? 🚩🚩 It's giving 1,2,3 strikes you're out but I'm not one to call it quits so fast 😂 not gonna slow my roll for someone who doesn't like nerd nite 🤓 lame-o.

On the bright side, I did have a hella stressful day and talking to him was a really good distraction from me spiraling about money, so I'll give him that ❤️ I just don't know if I can do another neuro spicy guy that I can't read very well. $300 car stuff turned into $700 unexpectedly but it is what it is. Cheaper than a car accident!!! 🙏🙌 Glad they caught it because I didn't know anything was wrong. SEE this is why I hate my tire light. Yesterday it was 60* today it was 85* and keeps doing that aka that's why I thought the light was on. No I literally had a bent rim that was disassociating from my tire 🤦‍♀️ Could've been a damn nightmare on the highway. They should have two tire lights, one for BS and one for serious 😂

Tomorrow is the final grind and then we'll really kick this shit off Friday I suppose. Could kick off tomorrow but it just wouldn't feel right to me. I know I'm good but it's not the same until you walk out of that exam review.

Still need to continue to work on myself, find friends, Meetup groups and hobbies, gym classes, things that make me an interesting person. You're getting there, I love you.

0 notes

journalwithpapi · 1 year

Text

So confused.

I just had an amazing weekend with Litebright — kinda. No arguing, just good time. The only disconnect is conversation. Now one morning some good discussion was sparked after watching a video. Other than that it’s just surface stuff, physical, and sleep which isn’t super fulfilling.

SM and I seem to be done done. She isn’t happy with communication and idk what can be done right now. LiteBrite is coming every weekend and even some weeknights we sleep together sooooo…..it’s tough to maintain.

LiteBrite seems to be ready for some serious stage in life, but idk what our compatibility looks like financially, friend and family overlap, and communication. I have my own plans and goals but idk if my timeline will coincide with hers. I have a nice income but my savings and home ownership won’t reach the point I want it to be at for another 1-2 years.

Then there’s D. D is similar in age, an attorney, no kids, another homeowner and high earner which is nice. We had a great time together but her communication is super trash. Getting a text back almost impossible. She’s cool though when we talk here and there. In a perfect world I can lock in here, but doesn’t seem like she has the time or space. I was transparent and said hey if you too busy that’s fine, she actually didn’t take the out, apologized and been open that right now she’s in deep demand. It’s an ebb and flow she says.

This weekend she’ll be out of town, so maybe next weekend I’ll just send her a date and time and hopefully we can connect some dots here. Fingers crossed .

My plate is full haha

What’s funny is before this weekend, like Tuesday and Wednesday I thought all of this was over. It felt like no one was interested I had messed up big in all departments. I said what I said to everyone, even had a depression day with AV. All for everything to work out…quite favorable.

In therapy I did some inner child work and my subconscious gave me: Be patient, be firm, it’s okay to let go, it’s okay to cry (still not crying tho), and “make a way it’s okay” (this so corny idk where this one going).

I see in my life I definitely need to be more patient. I can get in my feelings really hard, create narratives I want to avoid, and then use drinking or being out to block out that negativity (and I’m starting to see I may deal with anxiety really bad). But by coping with alcohol or extroversion I typically make really bad mistakes in either what I say or how much I spend. I need to get a hold of that and understand how to let go of situations momentarily, not take everything to heart so much, and give things time. I want immediate resolution and gratification too often.

Therapy is really chill, but I think it’s paying off with me. I wanted some huge, revelations but I think even this slow burn of growth and change is important for me to experience.

0 notes

sitpwgs · 1 year

Note

When I read what her YA was about, it seemed a lot different from her romances but I still enjoy her writing style I think. I am familiar with Rachel Lynn Solomon's books but will have to check out the other authors you mentioned. The main thing I like in the YA books I read are more serious topics though..like mental health which I sometimes don't see in a lot of adult books. There were actually two books I read that I loved but they are very personal to me and just read them at the right time in my life. They are pretty similar but maybe in a way that only makes sense to me and I love them for different reasons. The first book is called If He Had Been With Me. The writing style can be weird and might throw you off cuz it's mostly daily life with not much plot. It kinda reminds me of Normal People where its just about the relationship of two people and their everyday life and maybe it's more telling than showing. The other one is called The Stepping Off Place which has more of a plot. I thought the main characters were really relatable or similar to me in each and similar situation. I also see the reasons why people didn't like these books too and I didn't think they were perfect either but it still means a lot to me.If you don't have a connection to it though, you might not like it. I read If he Had Been With Me first and the other one more recently so I guess I would recommend that..but I think it would be interesting to read at the same time lol. One seems more old fashioned to me and the other one seems more modern and that might influence which one you would like more. I always feel nervous recommending my favorite books to people so I always suggest reading a snippet first!

good morning friend! i think you're talking about emily henry's YAs? and yes, i do agree! the one i read was very different from her adult (there's a fantasy element to it), and i definitely preferred her adult romances more. i've read all of rachel lynn solomon's YA + adult rom coms, but haven't read our year of maybe or you'll miss me when i'm gone. if you'd like books that talk about more serious topics, like mental health, i'm also happy to give you recs 🧸 i've definitely seen if he had been with me on bookstagram, but didn't know that's what it's about! i loveeee normal people, so i'll add it to my list of books to check out! and i hadn't heard of the stepping off place — i'll look into it! i always get so, so anxious when i recommend my favorite books too — especially when they're books that are so personal/books you see so much of yourself in. for me, i get this element of like, irrational fear that if my friends hate a book that i relate to so deeply that they also hate this part of me. a couple months ago, i told one of my best friends to read emily henry because she is not a romance reader and wanted to start somewhere and i had to be like if you hate it do not tell me. i'm pretty sure i explicitly said that i don't want to know if she read it, unless she loves it. it's very much the same anxious feeling that i get when i watch a movie with someone and i'm constantly checking to see if they like it, if they're laughing or enjoying themselves, etc. i have to constantly remind myself that not everything is for everyone!! what i love about a book might be why someone hates that exact book — and i've definitely been influenced to pick up books like that! all this to say, it's okay if someone you recommend a book to doesn't like it — it just means it wasn't for them 🤍 i hope you're having a good monday, if it's monday where you are (or tuesday?) and enjoying your current reads! i'm hoping to finish a book tonight (🤞) and then i will look for snippets of both of your recs and place library holds!

#post: answered #🩷 anon

1 note · View note

oncasette · 2 years

Note

also, any thoughts on summer love with rooster? meeting him at vacation and realizing you have to part ways once it ends 🥺

goose literally you’re gonna make me cry. i’m such a sucker for summer romances & flings bc the fleeting time makes you feel it all so much more.

like i can see you being apprehensive at first despite how much rooster is flirting with you and coaxing you into a date. but then you start seeing each other semi-regularly because you’re staying in the same hotel & you keep bumping into each other.

so you just kinda say fuck it & meet him in his room one night. and he’s like, shocked to say the least. really had no clue you were gonna take him up on his offer on this random tuesday, but here you are.

it’s not long after that that the two of you get a little bit more serious. going on dates every couple days to various restaurants around the beach, staying the night in one of your rooms together.

it’s not until mid-july that you realize you’ve found yourself between a rock and a hard place. you like rooster. like, really like him. might even love him if you had more time to find out. but your extra-long vacation was ending… soon & you and rooster had already talked about how far apart you lived.

so you fully give in to this idea of a summer fling, dirty dancing style. knowing it’s gonna hurt like a bitch when you do end up having to leave, but you’re not going to pass up the opportunity of being with him just because your time was dwindling.

#rooster x reader #rooster #bradley bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley rooster bradshaw x reader #bradley rooster bradshaw #top gun #miles teller #miles teller x reader #miles teller drabble

69 notes · View notes

meetmymouth · 4 years

Text

out in the heartland : harry styles

summary: it’s harry’s birthday and you have a very special gift for him word count: 6k warnings: daddy kink, pegging, anal fingering & rimming

“Love, can you get us more crisps,” Harry calls from where he’s seated on the floor, a Playstation console in hand.

It’s another lockdown Monday where they turn Mitch and Sarah’s spacious living room into a gaming room slash studio– according to Mitch, bowls of crisps, cheese platters, wine glasses and other snacks decorating every surface as they play anything and everything from FIFA to Fortnite until their brains are too foggy and they can’t move their fingers properly due to alcohol in their systems.

Sarah and Mitch were kind enough to let them both quarantine at theirs for a while, and it’d been so much fun, spending time with Mitch and Sarah, cooking together, watching films and going on walks, and overall having a great time with their friends. As much as it was just another Monday in lockdown, it was a special one with today being Harry’s 27th. They’ve already cut his cake, one she’d made herself -and Sarah helping with the piping– decorated with maraschino cherries and sprinkles, and they’ve been spending the night drinking posh wine and screaming at each other while Harry and Mitch played FIFA.

With two bowls filled with more crisps, she makes her way back to the living room with a smile on her face as Mitch and Harry keep going on and on about the game, and Sarah teasing them both, asking whether they’d get a divorce soon since they’ve been arguing back and forth like an old, married couple.

They pause the game as Mitch says her name, “did you see the card Jeff sent Harry for his birthday?” He’s smirking as he takes another sip of his wine, and Harry throws a piece of cheese at him, earning a glare from the long-haired man.

“Not yet, what is it?”

“Jeff being a dickhead as per. He sent me a card, it’s between my book, there,” he gestures at his book on the sofa with his head.

She grabs the thick book, turns the pages until she finds the card with ease, and she feels her heart drop for some reason, eyebrows furrowing and palms starting to sweat as she turns to Harry. He’s watching her with a grin on his face, the others already laughing at what’s in front of the card as she takes it in her hands to inspect the shiny birthday card.

“’Happy pegging birthday’” she reads out loud with a monotonous voice. “Uh… okay. That’s– very funny.”

“He’s just being stupid,” Harry laughs, running a finger thorugh his hair. He sits up, mouth full of crisps, and extends his hand for her to hold. “Come here, let me feed you cheese.”

“Okay… uh, nice card.”

“I mean, I love you, Sarah, but–” Mitch starts, mouth full, and Sarah cuts him off with a glare.

“Do not finish that sentence,” she points the wine glass at him as the sounds of cackling follow behind.

They all laugh… except her.

It’s funny. It is. And she loves them, loves laughing with them. But now, with the card Harry labelled as ‘stupid’ in hand and a fancy, pink box with Harry’s name on it waiting for them, waiting for him upstairs, on the bed they’d been sharing since the beginning of lockdown, she can’t help but feel stupid, too.

Was that a bold move? Was she being too brave, or… stupid? Whatever it was, she couldn’t help but let a pang of shame and sadness engulf her for a moment, before Harry’s silky voice pulls her away from her thoughts. She accepts the hand extended and sits next to him on the floor, card now forgotten on the sofa, and she tries to occupy both her mind and hands with Sarah’s fluffy cat, giving his little head tiny pets as Harry rubs her back as if it would get rid of the tension she was feeling.

“You okay,” he brings his mouth close to her gear and whispers, then presses the gentlest, softest kiss on her ear. “D’you need anything?”

“I’m fine.”

“Promise?”

“Yes, H.”

It’s not until 2AM that everyone decides to go up to their rooms, not even batting an eye at the mess they made as they make their way upstairs with promises to clean everything in the morning. Now that she knows the box is there, on the bed where Harry can easily detect as soon as they open the door, her stomach begins growling but not because she’s hungry, but because she’s feeling anxious, and ashamed.

She has to do something.

“Hey, um…” she begins, stopping them both in front of the guest room they’d been occupying. “Could you– could you bring me water, I forgot to take my meds today.”

“Baby…” Harry says, hand going up to her cheeks to stroke there for a moment. “I thought you had an alarm… I filled your water bottle this morning and put it on the bedside table, come on.”

“No– Harry…”

“What’s going on? Are you okay?”

“I am, I just want fresh water.”

“Are you– are you serious?”

“Yes,” it comes out as a question rather than an answer and she bites her bottom lip, feeling uneasy under Harry’s curious gaze.

“You’re being kinda weird.”

“I’m not being weird!”

“Is there something you’re hiding from me?” He says with eyebrows furrowed and hand on his hip. “In the bedroom, in particular?”

“Don’t be silly.”

And as soon as he turns away, she knows she’s done for. It’s too late. She’s fucked. Everything’s fucked, she thinks, and he will hate her. Will never want to see her face again and probably ask her to leave as soon as possible since he won’t be able to look at her ever again without being reminded of her disgusting “gift”.

He goes in, of course he does, and she can’t help but close her eyes for a few moments before she joins him, hands sweaty and heart beating like there’s no tomorrow. She finds him near the bed, eyes focused on the box sitting in the middle of the bed, and she looks up when he does, finding him giving her a bright, heart-clenching smile as the dimple gets wider.

“Well, what’s this then, bab?”

His socked-feet makes a comforting noise on the carpeted floor, and he stops when he reaches where she’s standing, hands immediately finding her hips to bring them closer.

“Harry, please don’t open it,” it’s pathetic, she thinks, how desperate and anxious she sounds. Though, she can’t help but close her eyes when Harry’s hand finds the back of her neck as he strokes there with his thumb. “Don’t open it. It’s just silly. It’s a joke.”

“Baby, breathe. What are you even talking about, hm? Why are you– oh my god, darling, you look like you’re having a panic attack. You’re sweating, are you…” he squeezes her flesh gently, then guides her to the bed. “Hey, look at me– look. I’m not going to open it unless you want me to. Do you really not know me? I would never do anything you don’t want me to. Who do you take me for, hm?” It’s so gentle, his voice, it’s like honey is dripping down his mouth and she can’t help but watch the way his pink lips move. “Baby. Look at me. I love you. You’re so special to me, you’re my whole world. I won’t open it– I won’t, I promise. C’mere, babs.”

“I love you too,” she sniffs once, twice, then rubs her eyes.

“Wanna go to sleep... hm? Come on, bab, let’s go to sleep.”

Nights chase each other away, Tuesday kisses Wednesday and Thursday is spent with laughter and too much smoke and Friday finally arrives and it’s like a breath of fresh air, but she also thinks it’s due to the open windows and fresh flowers in the spacious kitchen. The box, containing the cursed gift of hers is forgotten, placed under their bed besides their suitcases, and everything feels normal. Almost too normal. So, she does what most people would do: look for ‘trouble’.

When Harry’s in the shower, she gets the box out and sits on the bed as she thinks about what to do with it. But, apparently, the stillness of the room was too good to be true as Harry emerges from the ensuite, hair still dripping-wet as he adjusts the robe, eyes immediately finding what she’s got in front of her, and the box that is now open, and a black leather piece hanging from the not-so-tall box.

“Hi, sweet girl,” he’s testing the waters, she knows. His eyebrows are furrowed, only slightly, and mouth slightly parted. “What are you doing, darling?”

It’s not a threat, nor asked with the intention of intimidating her. Alas, she feels threatened.

“I…”

“What is it?”

She sighs, feeling the cold sweat dripping down her back, and finally gives up. “See for yourself,” the box is thrust into his hands, and she leaves the room, leaving behind a confused, semi-naked man and a very expensive looking strap-on.

It’s not another fifteen minutes until Harry comes downstairs dressed in only a pair of joggers, and finds her on the sofa as she chews on her thumb –a bad habit really– while reading one of Harry’s books. He walks up to her with a tiny smile on his face, and curls into her side, resting his head in the crook of her neck as he breathes in the sweet smell and the now all too familiar fabric softener.

He waits for her to speak first, not wanting to upset her further, but all she does is sit there, and pretend to read until Harry lets out a sigh, and presses a brief, gentle kiss to her jaw.

“Can we talk?” He says, hands now resting on her thigh as his thumb strokes the skin there.

She sighs too, and fidgets under his gaze. “Not really.”

“Why not, though? We’ve been together for years. Why are you so scared of me, hm? Have I ever done something to make you feel like you can’t be honest with me?”

“No, it’s just embarrassing to me, Harry. And… seeing that card. And you calling it… stupid. I just feel like an idiot, please stop.”

Harry sighs, his breath hitting the side of her face. “Look at me. Look–” he reaches and touches her jaw. “I love you. I’m madly in love with you. The kind that keeps me up at night. The kind that makes my heart hurt in the best possible way. I’m so gone, baby, so fucking gone for you. You got me. I can’t leave, now, I’d never want to,” he presses his forehead to the side of her jaw, the damp skin feeling cold against her flesh. “Jeff on the other hand… can we not talk about him when I have these– these images in my head. Of you. Wearing that.”

“You’re just saying that because you don’t want me to feel bad but too bad, I feel like shite and am so fucking embarassed, you don’t get it.”

“I do, I fucking do and I’m trying to tell you how much I’d love it if you fucked me in the ass. Now, you either come upstairs and finish what you started, or–”

They’re both startled when Mitch enters the living room and drops the book in his hand.

He looks up at them, clearly not phased, and they both notice the AirPods in his ears as he kneels down and grabs his book, giving them one last look before disappearing outside to join Sarah in the garden. Harry though, he lets out a chuckle and turns to her, dimple tugging at his cheek, and extends his arm to caress her cheek.

“Come upstairs, baby.”

He says it easily, words rolling off his tongue, just like that, and she does. Of course she does because what else was she to do? She lets him take her hand in his, interlocking their fingers as he guides them up the stairs. Once inside the room, the door is closed, locked, and Harry takes the time to walk towards the window to close the curtain, and she can’t help but stare at his long, beautiful fingers over the soft cotton. Other than the thick, silver band on his middle finger, his fingers are ring-free, and despite adoring his soft, pretty fingers with his equally pretty rings, there’s just something so soft, cosy and familiar about Harry without rings.

He catches her staring because, of course he does. He sees her. Every movement of her eyes, trembling lips, shaky fingers, scrunch of her nose; he sees it all. And now, he walks towards her, a big grin tugging at his lips as he stops right in front of her, both of them aware of the box sitting on the bed but neither of them say anything as they hold each other’s gaze.

And just like that, she feels like she can finally breathe properly when she’s being pulled into his chest, hands finding their place on each side of her head as he starts peppering kisses to her face, first her forehead, then nose, and at last, his plump lips find their way to the place they know by heart, her lips.

It’s not rushed, not at all, Harry thinks they have all the time in the world so he takes his time with her. He knows it’s impossible, foolish even, but he swears he can see the marks his tiny but lustful kisses are leaving behind when he briefly opens his eyes. They’re everywhere on her beautiful face, from her lips to the corner of her mouth, chin, the side of her jaw.

“How do you want me,” he mumbles and it’s an uttered promise, somehow submissive though not completely, but also one that is full of love, trust.

She freezes for a moment, hands still on his neck, holding each other’s gaze and she watches as Harry walks to the bed, and he grabs the box. The shape of the object in his hands feels unfamiliar to the eye, the dazzling, hot pink dildo at the front makes them both swallow in anticipation and she knows Harry is clueless about what his next move should be.

It certainly wasn’t their first time trying out things in the bedroom. They were both ‘kinky’, as some would call it, they liked rough sex, the kind that left bruises and marks behind, but never anything like this. Sure, she did give him a rim job a few times, his darker, puckered hole made her mouth water and she wanted nothing more than to get on her knees and kiss and lick the flesh until Harry was a mess, coming in long spurts. He loved having his ass licked, he loved sitting on her face, with his big cock stuffing her warm, tiny mouth as he forced her to take everything in, moving his ass back and forth across her mouth as she tried to lick every inch of the bitter flesh, wanting to please him, make him fall apart above her.

But, despite Harry letting her lick his ass could be considered as a vulnerability or submission to some, she was always his submissive. She loved it; they both loved it. She also knew today wasn’t the day she would give up on that submission. No, today was all about Harry, and what he wanted, how he wanted it, and it was about her giving it to him. So she gives him a tiny smile, hands reaching to grab the strap-on from his hands, and he watches with great intent, pupils dilated and mouth parted.

She swallows, and looks up at him with apprehension. “I want you to use me,” she lets out, a shaky breath following behind. “I want you to… I want you to do whatever you want with me. I know this,” her gaze falls to the pink dildo surrounded by black leather of the harness. “It’s something we haven’t done before, at least… fully–”

Harry giggles, leaning forward to press his forehead against hers. “Fully.”

“Shh. I’m just saying that… we haven’t done this before but I still want you to be in charge, at least… at least–”

“You want me to be the Daddy, hm? You still want Daddy to tell you what to do, how to fuck him? Y’gonna be my little fuck toy? Is that what you want, darling?”

“Yes,” her breath hitches at her throat. “Yes, Daddy.”

“Good girl. You’re so good to Daddy, darling. Always spoiling me, always looking after me, taking care of Daddy… how’d I get so lucky?”

“Daddy deserves it,” she looks up, waiting for his command to get naked and she can see it in his eyes, the hesitant gaze as if he wants to make sure she’s okay still even though he’s the one who’s about to get fucked.

“Go on then,” he mutters, hands going to his own joggers as he lets them pool around his ankles. He reaches up, brushing the pad of his thumb across her bottom lip. “Get naked for Daddy and put it on.”

And she does, oh, she does.

It doesn’t take long, considering she only has a ratty t-shirt on and a pair of joggers, and nothing underneath. It doesn’t come as a surprise to him, her forgoing underwear, but they both can’t help but hold each other’s gaze a minute longer. She notices the fiery look in his eyes, pupils now looking like a pair of black buttons as his bottom lip gets trapped between his teeth.

She lets her eyes wander, gaze travelling from each puffy nipple that are now beginning to harden, to the hair on his chest, then the hair that’s following his happy trail, all the way down to his cock. She feels her heart clench in lust at the sight of his hard cock, slightly curved with a vein following underneath, and she just wants to get down on her knees and put it in her mouth. She remembers him asking her whether to shave or not a couple of weeks ago, and the thick pubic hair surrounding his perfect cock makes her mouth water, feeling content that she’d told him not to touch any razors.

She looks up at him again, to see the expression on his face and he smiles, hand reaching for her.

“Come.”

She walks towards him, the strap-on in hand, and a tiny whimper leaves her mouth when her hand finds her boob, long fingers trapping her pebbled nipple between them as he twists the darker nub, once, twice, and he lets it go only to slap it, causing her to gasp as she quickly tries to suppress the noise with her palm pressing against her mouth. It stings, but doesn’t hurt. Not at all. In fact, it frustrates her despite the tingling, stinging feeling between her legs. She needs more. She wants more.

“Get this on and get on your knees,” he mutters, hand now on her neck as he squeezes briefly, watching as she gets the strap-on on and tightens the straps. “You’re gonna get Daddy’s cock nice and wet before you can fuck his ass. Understand?”

She pairs her quiet ‘yes’ with a nod, mind too hazy to actually look into Harry’s eyes as her shaky fingers fiddle with the harness. The clasps make a clicking sound, very satisfying to their ears, and she swallows, getting on her knees in front of him. Clean, soapy smell of his skin chafes the tip of her nose very gently and Harry begins playing with her hair, hands stroking the side of her face before one finds the back of her neck, bringing her towards his hard cock.

“Take it in your mouth,” his thumb presses hard on her bottom lip, as if to remind her who’s in control despite the foreign object she’s been supporting.

Her gaze wanders, taking in his thick, leaking cock, and with one hand steady on his meaty thigh, she brings the other to his balls, humming when she feels them tight already. The wrinkly skin of it is soft and not at all unfamiliar to her. So, she leans in to press a flat tongue against his balls, not missing the way Harry’s thighs jerk in response, and she then takes them into her mouth. She hums at the feeling in her mouth as she alternates between sucking and licking them and Harry lets out a quivering sigh above her, eyes closed, enjoying the warmth of her mouth around him.

He lets out a his when her teeth grazes over the area lightly. “Fuck, babe. You like my balls?”

Of course, there’s no time to respond, nor the possibility of her forming coherent words since he’s literally balls deep in her mouth, so she proceeds to hum around him, a few hairs there tickling her nose and lips as she sucks. With a pop, she lets them go and darts out her tongue again, travelling the warm, wet muscle from underneath his cock, to the tip. It’s a deep, pink colour, shiny and smooth, so she can’t help but wrap her mouth around the tip, earning a quick jolt of his hips from Harry as the action takes him by surprise.

She looks up, and sucks the tip as if it’s an ice lolly, and the salty taste of his pre-cum fills the insides of her mouth, fingernails pressing harder into his meaty thighs, and she wishes she could see the mark her nails left behind on his tiger tattoo.

Series of ‘fuck’s and ‘shit’s leave his mouth as he guides her head down his cock, and as always, she obeys while taking him deeper and deeper, her warm saliva coating his thickness and she moans around his warm cock as she brings her hands to his ass. While still sucking, she squeezes there, fingernails digging into the perfect skin of his ass and he lets out a hiss first, then pulls her hair harshly before pressing her face down his cock, a shaky moan following as she takes him deeper, her throat welcoming the warmth and thickness of his cock like it always does.

“You’re such a cock slut for me, aren’t you? Can’t keep that mouth away from Daddy,” he pulls her away from his cock, hands immediately going to her mouth to smear the pre-cum and spit all over her mouth and chin. "You wanted to treat Daddy for his birthday, hm?”

“Yes.”

“You’re such a good girl, darling. Always spoiling me, making me feel so, so fucking good,” he squeezes one of her boobs, twisting the nipple between his fingers before his gaze falls to the strap-on and the dildo secured tightly to the harness. He gets on his knees. “Make me suck that cock.”

The words, they just sound so hot, so filthy coming out of his mouth, making her weak in the knees as she swallows, and she places her hand on his shoulder, squeezing there once before it travels to the back of his head. She feels in control, having him on his knees, at her command even though he’s still somehow in charge, and it drives her crazy, having this gorgeous man all to herself.

She watches him as Harry’s curious gaze takes the pink dildo in. She knew it wasn’t his first time sucking a cock, despite the one now in his face being silicone. So when he goes in easily with her hands pulling him closer, she can’t help but whine at the expression on his face, eyes glittering and plump lips parted as he takes the cock into his mouth.

He coats the pink silicone with his saliva, eyes shut as if he’s trying to concentrate on an important task, pink lips looking like they belong there, around a cock. They look so sinful, yet so perfect as he bobs his head up and down, talking the cock further into his mouth and she tries to guide him but she knows he doesn’t need it. He knows what he’s doing.

“You look so hot,” she manages to let out, words coming out as a hum, low and quiet, and he opens his eyes, eyelashes fluttering at the whispered compliment. “You look so good, Harry.”

He takes it out of his mouth briefly, a string of saliva making a bridge between his bottom lip and the dildo, and she reaches there, smearing it all over his bottom lip just like he did to her earlier as she loved seeing him dirty.

His pink tongue darts out and he wraps his lips around the finger on his bottom lip. “Gonna get me wet now?” He hums around her finger and she feels her pussy clench around nothing.

“Get on the bed.”

As Harry gets on all fours, ass in the air, her eyes wander to their lube on the nightstand. Ignoring the heat in her stomach, she sits on her knees behind Harry and touches his ass, fingers caressing the soft skin, touching the tiny mole there before she leans forward and presses a kiss there. It’s a peck, a sweet kiss that turns into more as her mouth opens, tongue flat against the warm skin as she sucks the flesh, causing him to let out a happy grunt.

He whispers her name, the excitement making her nipples tighten once again, but she moves her lips towards the crack, not wanting to stop.

“That’s it,” Harry groans, “Get Daddy wet before you put that cock in him.”

It’s a godly sight. Him on all fours, at her mercy, it was exquisite, intense, dirty. But she wanted to get him dirtier. With her hand parting one cheek, she bites her lip, noticing his rim, puckered and surrounded by little hairs, and all of a sudden, she can’t wait to get her mouth on him, to see the hairs get darker with her spit as he squirms under her touch.

She gets closer, a grin appearing on her face when he lets out quiet whines and whimpers, and she exhales a sigh into Harry’s milky flesh. Her tongue, hungry and hot, darts out to lick his rim briefly, just to get him wet before she uses her fingers. His cock, now a deeper shade of pink, hard and thick, is peeking between his legs, moving left and right from time to time whenever Harry or she moves, and she can’t help but reach there.

Harry sucks in a breath as her warm hand meets his hard cock, and she lets out a moan when she feels the thickness of it in her palm. It’s hot, so fucking hot, and the smooth skin of his cock is still damp, so she brings her thumb to his tip and smears the leaking pre-cum all over it, then drags her finger down to his balls and squeezes once.

His perfect mouth lets out a pained whimper when she lets go and focuses on the beautiful rim in front of her. She leans forward, both hands now parting his cheeks, and spits on his rim before flattening her tongue and lapping across Harry’s puckered hole. It’s not sweet, far from it actually, but the salty, bitter taste makes her even wetter as she keeps licking and sucking around his hole, satisfied when she hears him whimper and moan. Once it’s wet and the hairs around his rim get darker, she pulls away and licks a finger into her mouth, then grabs the lube from the bedside table and places it somewhere by Harry’s feet.

It’s fire, when she presses her middle finger into his hole, and Harry lets out a groan, her finger sliding in with ease with the help of her spit. “So tight,” she mumbles when Harry pushes his ass backwards only a little bit to match the tiny movements of her finger.

“Move faster,” Harry says, voice low. “Add another one.”

The lube is now in her hand as she brings it to where her finger is, takes it out, and allows a generous amount to coat the puckered area where her finger has been. Harry groans at the feeling, hole clenching around nothing, and she rubs the area with the same finger she’s been using, and presses it in before taking it out. This time, her middle finger is joined by her index as she fucks into his ass slowly, taking her sweet time while admiring the way he’s been taking her fingers. The skin makes wet noises, and she knows if they weren’t so worked up, they would have a giggle about it, just like they often do whenever one of them makes a questionable noise while having sex.

This time, though, the sounds of her fingers pumping in and out of his ass makes her go crazy, and she knows Harry feels the same when he lets out a loud grunt, pushing his ass back in sharp movements, in hopes of getting her to fuck him harder and deeper.

It goes on like that for a while, and they stop when he’s opened up enough, Harry’s rim now looking sore and pink. Once the dildo at her front is lubed up generously, she taps his ass once, making him turn his head back to look at her, eyebrows furrowed in question and mouth still parted due to the tingling feeling at the tip of his cock.

“Go ahead, baby,�� he murmurs, gaze lowering. “Fuck Daddy’s ass. I’m ready,” his voice, hoarse and low, rings in her ears as she lifts the dildo up to his ass, his now-pink hole.

One hand holding the pink dildo from the base and the other resting on Harry’s back, she starts pushing it in, whines and hisses leaving his throat as soon as he feels the silicone tip. She watches as the tip digs into his ass, slowly and with effort despite all the lube, and she can’t help but bring her other hand to her boobs, squeezing once before she places it back on Harry’s ass. He’s a mess, sweat dripping down his back, and she knows he’s trying to keep quiet as neither of them would want to get caught by the other couple despite having the door locked.

“Fuck,” he grunts, head lowering.

“Does it hurt?”

“No,” he whimpers, ass trying to clench around the dildo but it fails due to how big it is. “Keep going, I want you to fuck me. Hard.”

She holds him by his love handles, fingernails digging into his milky, smooth skin as she moves her hips, the dildo now halfway in. With Harry moaning, she takes her time to admire how fucking hot he looks underneath her, with his ass filled with the pink dildo, and she sighs, continuing to fuck into his ass with the shiny dildo. It’s incredible how well he’s taking it, taking her, his puckered hole now a sore-pink, wet, and she feels like crying, not knowing how to handle what’s going on. She loves him. She loves him so fucking much, and she knows he does, too. She feels overwhelmed with love and hunger as she speeds up her hips, the dildo now fully inside him as she fucks his ass.

He gasps and jolts when the dildo presses right up to his prostate. “Fuckin’ hell. Please keep going, fuck Daddy hard. Fuck me, baby– god, I’m gonna cum soon. Keep going, keep fucking me,” he rasps.

“You’re taking it so well. You look so fucking good.”

“Oh fuck– it feels so good. Fuck me harder, come on, fuck me.”

Feeling brave, she presses her fingernails into his ass cheek, then lifts her hand, a loud smack landing on his left cheek and Harry hisses, fingers curling into the sheets as he lets out whimper after whimper. She watches as the dildo disappears into Harry’s ass, the pink mark on his ass becoming redder and angrier by the second and she decides to press her front against his back, laying down on him as she fucks into him deeper, nipples getting ridiculously hard as soon as they make contact with Harry’s sweaty back.

She finds it easier to fuck him in this position, and she likes that they’re much closer now, mouths searching for each other as he reaches behind and grabs her ass, squeezing hard as she keeps thrusting hard and deep. With kisses placed against his sweaty neck, Harry tries to turn his head to where hers is, and they meet in a rushed, teeth-clashing kiss, Harry’s tongue darting out to lick into her mouth, but missing in the end, and licking the corner of her mouth instead as she lets out a whine, hand searching for his cock that’s now trapped between his body and the sheets.

He helps her, lifts up his lower body and she starts moving her hand up and down on his hard cock, head resting on the crook of his neck as her hips move lazily. He’s so hard, and she knows he’s close by the sounds he’s making, his hips jerking forward from time to time as little ‘uh’s leave his mouth, and she wants to help him. She wants him to cum so bad. She wants to be the one making him cum so fucking hard.

“Are you gonna cum,” she whispers into his neck. “Please, baby. Cum for me. Show me how much you liked getting fucked.”

“God,” with cock still in her palm, he tries thrusting his hips forward to meet the strokes of her hand. “Please– I’m g’na cum so fuckin’ hard. You’re so fucking hot, so fucking good to me. Oh my god, baby, it hurts.”

“Yeah? It hurts?” She squeezes the base of his cock, then touches his balls briefly before continuing her strokes. “You’re taking it so well. Come on, Daddy. I need you to cum.”

“God, I’m– oh fuck. I’m gonna… Make me cum. Come on, make Daddy cum.”

She squeezes his cock once again, sending sharp jolts of pleasure straight to his cock. When he lets out a choked breath, she knows he’s coming. It’s hot, sticky, and so fucking dirty, the cum coating her palm, creating more lubrication as she keeps stroking him lazily, dildo still filling up his ass, and with a groan, Harry reaches behind to smack her ass.

They stay like that for a while, with her still inside him as he tries to catch his breath, and she proceeds to match their breaths to the clock on the wall, feeling completely spent but still frustrated since the pool of wetness between her folds seems to be intensifying every passing moment.

After a while, Harry clears his throat. “Are you a dream?” It’s soft, only a whisper, and sickeningly sweet.

“Hm?”

“You’re a dream. You’re unbelievable– I love love love you,” he sighs, voice breaking. It takes him a few seconds to complete his sentence.

“No, thank you. I hope… I hope you liked it?”

“Fucking loved it. What about you?”

“I did. You did so good,” she touches his sweaty hair. “But,” she starts, legs starting to feel sore. “I’m still so fucking wet.”

“Oh, fuck. I’m sorry, sweet girl–” Harry reaches behind and strokes her hip. “Can I fuck you now?”

“Yes, please.”

The strap-on now on the floor, Harry takes his time to admire her soft features, the sweat on her forehead and messy strands of hair sticking to her face. She rubs her eyes, and lets out a yawn, but her other hand reaches blindly for Harry, and he smiles, the gesture leaving his chest, his heart heavy and hot and full of love. He lets her hold on to him as she keeps rubbing her eyes, then he links their fingers as she opens her eyes to find him staring.

She gives him a lazy smile. “What?”

“Nothing. Nothing at all.”

“All right, Shakespeare… mhm, come here,” she pulls him closer by his love handles. “I love you. Happy birthday. Again.”

“I love you so much. How is it possible to want you this much, hm?” He mumbles against her sweaty neck, not caring about the bitter taste of her skin. He watches as her smile widens, eyes tired and sleepy. “There’s a halo in your mouth.”

pls reblog if you enjoyed it! it only takes a second but it helps me tons <3 inbox is always open for your feedback!!!!! <3 lu

#harry styles imagine #harry styles smut #sub!harry #harry styles x reader #harry styles blurb #harry styles x y/n

2K notes · View notes

violetlilysunshine · 3 years

Text

Like a Sleepover

Tom Holland x Female Reader

Requested

Anon: Sleeping over Tom Holland house for the first time. Lots of fluff please

WC: 3,544

Warnings: none, just fluff

A/N: I'm seeing this take place in Atlanta, but it’s not really specific if you wanna imagine it somewhere else!

REQUESTS OPEN - Or just come chat :)

MASTERLIST

You and Tom had been together for a little while; you were getting serious, spending more and more time together.

Last month, you finally put a label on yourselves, “is it...ya know, uh… can I, well…” he stuttered.

“Spit it out, Tommy,” you joked.

“Can I call you my girlfriend?”

You were taken aback for a second, “well, uh, to be honest, I kinda thought I already was…” you giggled.

He laughed at you gently, “well alright then, girlfriend…” he trailed off with a raise of his eyebrows.

“Okay, boyfriend.”

TUESDAY

Flash forward and you’re making plans for this weekend seeing as you're both off from filming.

“Yeah, so they’re showing Outsiders at the drive-in on Friday, and we’d have to go to the later showing after I finish filming, but uh, I thought it would be fun and something different for us and I know you love the movie. Might be fun to dress like Greasers too,” he proposed through the phone, calling you between scenes.

“Ooh that does sound like fun, but I wanna be Cherry,” you said, giggling a bit.

“Okay, you can be Cherry, I’ll be Ponyboy,” he finalized.

“Sounds good, well I gotta go,” you said, “duty calls.”

“Yeah, me too, but uh, one more thing real fast?”

“Sure, what’s up, babe?”

“Well seeing as it’s going to be really late, I just thought maybe after it’s over, you could maybe stay with me?” his voice tweaked up at the end. He was met with silence on your end for a minute before he added, “ya know, like a sleepover…”

“Uh, yeah, maybe…” you trailed off, “we’ll see what the wind blows, huh?”

“Oh,” he said, his voice dropping a bit, “yeah sounds good.”

“Okay, well I really do have to run.”

“Alright, darling, talk to you tonight.”

“Bye,” you said, already walking out of your trailer and back to set.

“Yeah, bye,” he answered to himself, seeing as you’d already ended the call.

You had never been nervous with him before, but now he’d casually invited you to stay over at his house for the night, something you’d never done with any boyfriend, ever. You didn’t know how to act, and it kinda freaked you out.

Was he expecting anything? What would you even wear? Should you bring a change of clothes? Would late night last into early morning? What if you woke up before him and didn’t know what to do in his house? What if he woke up first and you slept in really late, leaving him bored and trapped?

Questions swirled your mind, and you knew he would bring it up again, but you had to force them away. You hustled back to set, getting into character and trying to forget about everything.

He called you later that night, “wanna grab a bite with Harry and I?” he proposed.

“Uh sure,” you thought since Harry would be there, he wasn’t likely to bring it up again.

You met him just down the street from his house at the forgotten diner you frequented, never being recognized and getting some peace together. You grabbed burgers and chatted about your day as you ate and everything seemed fine. He didn’t bring it up again, and you thought you would have another few days to process everything and hopefully get over the hurdles in your mind. You wanted to stay with him, but you didn’t know how that would play out, exactly.

“Finished?” he asked, gesturing to your empty tray as he stood up.

“Yeah, thanks,” you smiled, and he cleaned up the table and took the trash to the can.

“I’m gonna walk back, if that’s okay,” Harry said, standing from the table, “got some photos I wanna edit.”

“Sure, bro, I’ll be right behind you,” Tom answered, coming back to you.

“Bye,” you waved as he left you and Tom alone.

“Walk you to your car?” Tom offered.

You stood up, turning around to thank the workers as the two of you left the diner. He walked you to your car, one hand secured around your shoulders, hugging you tight to his side.

“So, uh, I kinda got the sense that you didn’t want to stay with me earlier,” he said slowly, testing the waters to see how you would react.

You swallowed hard, turning to lean on the door of your car, “oh,” you whispered, “well uh, it’s not that, it’s just that I don’t - I’ve never really, uh, done that before.”

“Yeah I know we haven’t, love,” he chuckled.

“I mean, like ever,” you whispered, looking at the ground, “I just uh, don’t really know how that works.”

“Oh, well, uh, it’s not that hard really,” he soothed, “you just sorta sleep at my place, and I take care of you, and make you breakfast, and we just be together.”

You looked into his chocolate eyes, nothing but love pouring out of them. You don’t know how long you held his gaze for, but he started to get a little nervous at your lack of response.

“I mean, we’ve napped together before, it’s kinda like the same thing, just longer,” he added, trying to put you at ease.

“But like, what’s gonna happen?” you said, fiddling with your hands.

He understood what your emphasis meant, bringing a hand to your shoulder and rubbing it gently, “I’m not expecting anything, love,” he soothed you, “if it happens, fine, I’m ready for that. If you’re not that’s fine too, just wanna cuddle with you. Feel you pressed against me. Have my sheets smell like you when I get in ‘em the next night.”

You felt more at ease about it, but wrinkled your nose at his last statement.

His eyes grew wide, “no no no,” he hurried out, “I didn’t mean it, like, in a weird way! It came out wrong!”

You giggled at him, “it’s okay, bub, I get it. Why do you think I like wearing your hoodies all the time?”

He breathed a sigh of relief, chuckling at you, “yeah?”

“Yeah, and to be honest I don’t really even like hoodies. I’m a sweatshirt kind of gal.”

“Noted,” he answered, saving that info for later, “so what d’ya think about Friday?”

“I’ll stay, but like, do I bring anything?”

“You can bring whatever makes you comfortable, love,” he answered quietly, stepping towards you and cupping your face in his hands.

“Okay,” you breathed, connecting your lips to his.

You kissed for a while, his body pressing yours into the door. You pulled back to take a breath, resting your forehead on his, “but really, do I bring like, a toothbrush and stuff?”

“Yes, love, bring a toothbrush,” he chuckled, pecking you again. He swung his arm around your shoulder again, pulling you off the car, “let’s get you home, yeah?”

He opened your door, letting you inside the driver’s seat and closing the door. You started the car, him still standing there watching you. You rolled down the window, “are you coming or what?” you laughed.

“What?” he asked with a chuckle.

“I’m taking you home, obviously,” you giggled.

He ran around to the other side, hopping in quickly and buckling up. His hand rested against your thigh instantly, stroking his thumb across your skin.

You made the short drive to his house, lights on downstairs showing that Harry was already there.

“Thanks for the ride, baby,” Tom said, leaning over the console and giving you a quick peck.

“Anytime,” you whispered, pecking him again.

“See you Friday,” he said with a raise of his eyebrows, squeezing your thigh.

“Yeah, Friday,” you answered quickly.

He pecked you one last time before slipping out of the car and jogging to the front door. You watched him go inside, waving to each other before you drove off.

THURSDAY

After you were off, you took a long shower, exfoliating everything and shaving your legs, in preparation for tomorrow night. You carefully packed your bag: toothbrush, toothpaste, floss, mouthwash, hair brush, extra ponytail holders, face wash, cute pajamas, fuzzy socks, extra undies (more than you’ll ever possibly need but can’t be too prepared, right?), a cute outfit for Saturday, and a book (because who knows what the tide will bring?).

You’d spent so long worrying about what you would take with you, that you’d forgotten that you had to find something to wear to the movie. You’d already agreed to be Cherry, so you had to come up with something.

You slipped to the back of your closet, finding an old-plaid-navy-school-uniform skirt. That’ll work. You pulled out a plain white sweater that you’d never found a chance to wear, thinking you could tuck that in, and a lace bralette to go underneath it; after all, you wanted to feel a little sexy. You pulled forward some old blue Vans and some white crew socks, planning to fold them over. You also planned to ask your hair and make-up artist to help you with your hair before you left set tomorrow, saving a few pictures for her.

By the time you’d done all that, you figured you better go to bed, turning off the light, crawling into bed, and thinking about what tomorrow would bring.

FRIDAY

You’d had a long and stressful day filming, stuttering over your lines, missing your marks, and overall just not giving your best performance. Everyone has their off days, but you knew this was coming from your worries about tonight.

You called Tom as you were getting your hair done after wrapping for the day.

“Hi, bub, am I interrupting you?” you asked as soon as he answered.

“Never, love,” he answered, “what’s up?”

“Well, I’m getting my hair done for tonight, then I was going to head home. Just wanted to make sure you didn’t want me to stop and get anything at all or bring anything specific with me..”

“Course not, darling. You just have to bring that pretty face…” he trailed off.

If you were with him, you’d have slapped his shoulder lightly. Instead you just giggled, asking, “you’re positive?”

“Yes darling,” he insisted, “I’ll pick you up at 9:00.”

“Alright…” you trailed, “guess I better let you get back to work.”

“I’ll see you later, beautiful,” he whispered, “bye.”

“Bye.”

Your hair and make-up artist finished her work, expertly recreating your example images. You thanked her profusely, complimenting her over and over.

She answered with a simple, “it’s nothing dear,” and a wave of her hand.

You hugged her thank you, heading back to your trailer to collect your things.

By the time you got back to your apartment, it was already 8:30. You quickly dropped your work and other set junk on the table, scurrying to your room to collect your bag for Tom’s. You checked over everything in there, playing all the possible scenarios in your mind before deciding you were prepared.

You changed into your outfit for the night, lacing your shoes and admiring yourself in the full length mirror. You snapped a few pictures, deciding that one was cute and posted it to your Instagram story with the caption, “where’s my Pony?” and a cherry emoji.

As soon as you put it up, Tom knocked on your door. You rushed through the living room to the front door, flinging it open to see what Tom had concocted for the evening. You took in his appearance, mouth watering at the sight. You admired his slicked back hair, tight grey t-shirt, sleeves rolled up a bit of course, loose jeans, cuffed at the hem, beat up black converse, and red flannel hanging over his shoulder; you didn’t realize the effect this dress-up would have on you. You giggled, eyeing him up and down as he did the same to you.

“Hey, doll,” he grinned, meeting your eyes again.

“Hey, Pony,” you laughed.

“Ready to go?” he asked gently.

“Yeah, let me just get my bag from my room,” you said, turning back to grab it from your bed.

At the last second you decided to throw a box of tampons in. You weren’t expecting to use them, but you didn’t want to get stranded without them. You sighed, zipping up the bag and turning off your bedroom light.

You emerged from the room, walking towards Tom, standing by the table.

“Ready,” you said, voice kind of quiet.

“Let’s go then,” he smiled brightly, taking your bag from you and grabbing your hand. You locked the door behind you before following him to his car.

~~~~

When you parked to watch the movie, Tom was quick to pull out his phone, snapping a picture of the title screen and posting it to his public story. You knew fans would be in a tizzy, considering your earlier post, but they always were so what’s the point in worrying. Then he turned to you, “take a photo with me, love?”

“Course, Pony, anything for you,” you said dramatically, even though you loved it.

“Are you gonna call me that all night?” he chuckled.

“Maybe forever,” you answered, laughing loudly.

He pulled his phone up to take a selfie. You smiled wide, pressing your faces together, and he turned to peck your cheek. He snapped another, smiling as well, saving it and setting it as his lock screen.

The movie was great, as expected, and the drive-in atmosphere made it even more fun. You didn’t have to worry about fans interrupting you, a big plus, but it also just fit the movie so well, and it was fun to be in costume.

When it wrapped up and you were waiting in the traffic to pull out of the lot, Tom asked gently, “still wanna come over?”

“Yeah, sure,” you said, trying not to overthink things.

“Okay, just making sure. You don’t have to if you don’t want to. Just want you to be comfortable,” he said, dropping a hand to your thigh and giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Oh, well I wanna give it a go,” you said with a small smile, placing your hand on top of his.

He smiled wide, picking up your hand to give it a kiss, before dropping it back into your lap.

The drive to his house was quick after you finally made it out of the parking lot. He hurried around the car, opening your door for you, before grabbing your bag from the backseat.

He placed a hand on your lower back, gently guiding you to the front door. He shuffled around to unlock it, pushing open the door and allowing you to enter first. You stepped inside, making note of Harry on the couch. It was almost 1:00 AM, so you’d assumed he'd be asleep.

“Oh, hey Harry,” you spoke lightly.

“Hey, was wondering when you’d get here…” he trailed off, “I was just about to turn in. Outfit’s great by the way,” he said, standing from the couch and gathering his laptop.

“I don’t mean to chase you out,” you said, not wanting to be in the way.

“No, no, you didn’t,” he soothed, “it’s time to turn in anyway, gonna go golf in the morning.”

“Oh, okay, goodnight.”

“Night,” he said, trudging down the hall.

Tom had set your bag on the bench in the entryway, coming up behind you. He placed his hands on your hips, pulling you flush against his front, as he snuggled his face into your neck.

“Hi,” he whispered in your hair.

“Hi,” you giggled back, attempting to turn in his grasp.

His hands held you in place, wrapping around to cross over your stomach. He rested his weight against you, slowly swaying the both of you back and forth.

You eyed the mirror across the room, desperate to take pictures like this. After all, he got a new lockscreen earlier…

“Bub,” you giggled, feeling his breath fan across your neck.

“Mmm, yes, my love?” he grumbled, pressing kisses against your skin.

“I wanna take a picture,” you giggled, “over in that cool mirror.”

He squeezed you tighter for a second, before releasing you, “mmkay,” he answered, letting you lead him over to the mirror.

“Do that again,” you told him, guiding his arms around your waist.

He was quick to settle back into you, breathing in your scent as you snapped a few photos in the mirror: a few of him kissing your neck, a few with you both looking in the mirror, a few of him looking at you, lovingly. He buried his face even further into you, hiding completely, as you took just one more. You asked him if it was okay to post one.

“Let me see it first,” he said, wanting to check all of the surroundings for spoilers and whatnot.

He was quick to approve the photo with his lips pressed to your jaw, making you smile.

You put it up on your story, captioning this one, “found him,” with the horse and cherry emojis.

He kissed your neck a few times, watching you post, before mumbling, “ready for bed?”

You yawned slowly, “yeah, I think so.”

“Alright,” he whispered, pecking your cheek one final time.

He slid one hand down your arm, locking your fingers together, and pulling you towards the staircase. He picked up your bag, carrying it with him up to his bedroom. You followed him in and he set your bag on the end of the bed.

“Alright, darling,” he said, rubbing his hands together gently, “make yourself at home.”

“Okay,” you giggled, stepping towards the end of the bed gently.

He’d placed your bag in the middle, next to a sweatshirt. You looked at him, making note of its presence.

“Oh, well, uh, you said you didn’t like hoodies, so I uh, pulled this one out for you, ya know, if you want it,” he said, shuffling his feet.

All you could do was smile, You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him into you. You kissed him gently, lingering for just a second.

“Thank you,” you whispered against his lips.

“You’re welcome, darling.”

You turned towards the bed, stepping back from him.

“So what’d you bring?” he asked, one hand finding the zipper of your bag as he tried to get a peek inside. You were quick to stop his hands, not wanting him to see the box of tampons thrown on top.

“Things,” you said giggling, “teeth stuff, hair stuff, clothes, a book…” you trailed off.

“A book?” he laughed lightly, “what book?”

“Looking for Alaska,” you answered, “it’s my comfort book.”

“Well, you’ll have to read it to me,” he said with a glint in his eye.

“Okay,” you whispered with a sheepish smile.

“I’m gonna pop in the bathroom real quick, alright?”

“Of course, it’s your house,” you laughed.

In his absence, you changed clothes, dragging on your tiny sleep shorts and matching tank top and pulling his sweatshirt over the top. You moved your bag off the mattress, dropping it on the floor. He came back quickly, seeing your new outfit, and smiling widely.

“Looks good on you,” he grinned.

“Thanks,” you said, “can I take my makeup off?”

“Course,” he answered, gesturing to the bathroom.

While you did that, he changed as well, dressing in a new t-shirt and clean boxers; he didn’t want to get in bed with you for the first time in dirty boxers of course. He shuffled under the covers, tucking into his usual side and propping against the headboard. He scrolled through Instagram, reposting your stories to his own and liking a few posts of yours.

You returned, dropping your items back in your bag, and grabbing your book. You flipped off the overhead light and stepped into the other side, enjoying how utterly domestic everything felt.

He flipped on the lamp on the side table, opening his arm for you to rest against him. You settled against his chest, opening your book to start to read to him. He kissed your head and rubbed small circles into your arm.

Your eyes were getting heavy as you read, but you would gladly stay up all night reading with him. Unfortunately, he started to doze off, snoring just enough for you to hear. You closed the book, marking your page but knowing you’d have to go back a little bit tomorrow, and reached over to turn the light off.

He woke up a bit, grumbling, “what’re you doing, love?”

“Just turning off the light,” you whispered, “go back to sleep.”

He sank down to lay against the pillows. You dropped back over to your side, curling up, but leaving some distance between you two. You faced him, admiring his face as he slept.

“What’re you doing?” he grumbled, eyes still closed.

“What do you mean?” you giggled, “going to sleep.”

“No, c’mere,” he said, reaching an arm out to wrap around your waist.

He pulled you into him, tangling your legs together and pecking your cheeks. You giggled at him, pulling his lips to yours, kissing him goodnight.

“G’night, my love,” he grumbled, tipping his head back to rest his chin against your forehead.

“Night, Pony,” you whispered back.

He chuckled, squeezing you tighter before you both drifted off to sleep.

#tom holland #tom holland fluff #tom holland x reader #tom holland x female reader #tom holland x fem reader #tom holland oneshot #tom holland imagine #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland sleepover #violetwrites

426 notes · View notes

jmrothwell · 2 years

Note

Yes I'm like two days behind on my dash but TUESDAY (or wednesday for me). “I think my leg/arm is broken.” + Reggie plz

(Set in @innytoes Quiet AU, aka ‘the post apocalypse monster AU’. Fair warning, it got kinda long)

Luke bounced on his toes, his cheeks ached from the large smile on his face. Excited that Reggie had finally relented to teach him some of his silent evasion techniques he had deemed too dangerous to teach the younger kids.

“I’m not sure about this.” Julie grumbled from where she stood gazing over the edge of the short one story building they’d decided to practice on.

Reggie laughed in that beautifully silent breathy way he did before offering Julie reassurances. They’d been working on the jumps and landings at ground level and various random railings for weeks now. Reggie specifically chose these buildings because of how short they were and the small distance between them.

Julie didn’t seem convinced by any of his arguments. Luke didn’t want her to shut this down before he even got a real chance to give it a try so he jumped in with an argument of his own. “C’mon Jules. Reg used to do this sort of thing all the time. He’s an expert, I’m sure he wouldn’t let me do this if there was any serious risk involved.”

Thankfully Julie was turned towards Luke and couldn’t see the scrunched up faces Reggie was making behind her back. The boy’s face was soo expressive he could tell whole stories with a few looks. And these stories, well even if Reggie may have made it this far, others hadn’t been so lucky.

Briefly Luke second guessed if he should be doing this.

Julie meanwhile looked almost convinced, a contemplative sigh leaving her lips as she looked over the edge of the building again. Reggie and Luke had a brief silent conversation over her shoulder. A conversation which ended with ‘yes I am sure I still want to jump from building to building Reg. How do you not see how cool that is?’

After Julie relented, Reggie offered to demonstrate. He made short work of sprinting across the roof and leaping safe and soundly to the other roof and then back again. Luke didn’t think he would ever get tired of how impressively quick and agile Reggie could be. All without a single audible sound.

“The key,” he began, louder than he used to speak but still on the quieter side of things. A vibrant smile split his flushed face, “is to not hesitate. Just trust your instincts.”

“What instincts?” Julie snarked, earning her shoulder checks from both of the boys. Although Luke did pout a bit because she might have a bit of a point there.

Reggie quietly clapped a hand to Luke’s shoulder, “we’ve been drilling them. The jump and landing practices.”

Luke’s smile grew as he looked to Julie and then dashed off to where Reggie had begun his earlier sprint. He quietly muttered to himself, repeating Reggie’s advice from earlier over and over.

“Just don’t overthink it he says” Julie called out. Probably repeating something Reggie thought he’d shouted. “Should be easy for you.”

Luke’s offended scoff was short-lived, as he could hear and see his two friends giggling at his expense. He took a few short breaths, bounding on his feet and began sprinting towards the building's edge. He didn’t get far as Reggie was suddenly in front of him blocking his path.

At his confused look, Reggie explained, “We should have probably also worked on your sprinting. That was not quick enough.”

“Seriously?” Luke whined, sensing what Reggie was about to say before he actually said anything. Luke dispondantly kicked the roof as they walked over to Julie, who clearly was trying to not look like she was gloating.

“Wait before we go home, could you maybe demonstrate again?

Reggie rolled his eyes but there was no malice anywhere in it. His fond smile never faltered as he shook his head and dashed off. He sprinted then vaulted the distance between the building, nimbly landing on the other building. A loud cracking sound tore the smile from all of their faces.

Luke’s heart stopped as the stonework ledge Reggie had landed on crumbled beneath his feet. Reggie briefly managed to grab onto the ledge as the rest of him slammed into the wall. Luke wasn’t certain if it was Reggie’s grip or the ledge that gave out and sent the boy hurtling the remaining distance to the ground.

Reggie managed to maintain silence the entire time. Even when he landed in a heap and immediately curled tightly into himself. Luke and Julie on the other hand more than made up for it with their screams and concerned cries.

“Reggie?” Julie’s voice rang out echoing off the walls of the two buildings and it made the boy flinch. Something was very wrong. Noise hadn’t made him flinch like that for months now.

All it took was a brief exchange of worried glances before Luke and Julie both raced back down the ladder they had used to get up here in the first place.

By the time they’d made it back to solid earth, Reggie was leaning heavily into the wall. Silently he hobbled on one leg as quickly as he could away from where he’d just made all the noise. Clearly he was avoiding putting any weight on the leg closest to the wall.

Luke caught up with him quicker than Julie, his stride giving him the slightest advantage.”Reg where are you go-?”

Reggie moved so quickly Luke hadn’t even registered what happened until he was pinned back against the wall, a hand firmly placed over his mouth. Luke inhaled sharply as his stomach dropped. He hadn’t seen Reggie this manically panicked about sound since he first woke up on this side of the outer wall. The only difference now was Reggie’s bottom lip was bleeding from where his teeth had sunk into it.

Somehow, something happened during his fall that dragged him back there. Back to outside the wall again. Fear and pain had a funny way of doing that to people. Forcibly taking them back to their worst moments.

Julie must have noticed as well because her footsteps no longer echoed down the small alley. Luke could see her inching closer out of the corner of his eye. So could Reggie as his eyes flicked towards his direction. Although it was just as likely he could still hear her, his hearing being more attuned to those sorts of sounds than theirs ever had.

Cautiously Luke wrapped one his hands up to the back of Reggie’s head and forced the boy to look at him. Then he used his other hand to move Reggie’s from its position over his mouth to over his chest. Finally he focused on taking long slow breaths, while keeping his eyes as gentle and non threatening as he could.

Reggie’s confusion managed to show through his overwhelming panic. Yet Luke kept up the breathing, remembering Alex’s breathing exercises for his panic attacks. It seemed to be working at least a little.

“Shhh” Julie breathed out from off to the side and gently laid one of her own hands on Reggie’s shoulder as he tensed up again. “Shhhh, Reggie you’re safe.”

A glimmer of recognition crossed over Reggie’s eyes, “Luke?”

“Yeah buddy, Julie and I are here.” Luke whispered, although he knew he wasn’t as good as the other two. Slowly he pulled Reggie into a loose hug. “You’re safe.”

A barely audible relieved but pained whimper dislodged itself from Reggie’s throat as he collapsed into and then slid down the wall. The panicked look fully subsided as he did so, his teeth finally releasing their hold on his bloodied lower lip.

“Reggie?” Julie kept her voice low as she gently placed a hand on his cheek. “That was quite the fall, are you ok?”

“I think.” Reggie spoke, voice hoarse. He grimaced, eyes now screwed shut tight. “I think my leg is broken.”

Luke grimaced as well, but from the guilty pit that dug into his stomach. He didn’t need it but he didn’t fight it when Julie turned around and slapped his arm. She at least didn’t say the ‘I told you so’, he knew she was thinking.

The two didn’t linger in the alley any longer. Luke bent down and wrapped an arm around Reggie’s waist while Reggie wrapped one of his around Luke’s neck. Julie plastered herself in a similar fashion to Reggie’s other side. Luke knew he was carrying most of Reggie’s weight though.

Slowly the three of them made their way back home and Reggie to the medical care he needed for his leg. Julie complained the entire time that she wasn’t about to let either of them do something that stupid ever again.

-------

Injuries

#reggie peters #julie molina #luke patterson #jatp #julie and the phantoms #AU #prompt fic #injuries

17 notes · View notes