#and a uni interview which is exciting

[paleangels13]

Okay but what if everything is too much now?

[yazmarina]

walk me through it

for the love circuit series

—you're used to being flirted with in front of the camera. but something about franco is really doing you in.

franco colapinto (f1) x fem!reporter reader

warnings/notes: smut, unprotected sex (no condom, yes birth control), guided masturbation, lewd photography, lots of flirting, franco is shameless (naturally), some Spanish sentences and phrases

a/n: will resume hit play for a bit after this one! enjoy franco girlies mwa

Your job was simple enough. Well, for today, at least.

Stand in the media pen, gather statements, and piece together a couple of stories later that evening for publishing first thing tomorrow morning. All in a day's work, like all the other days before.

You've grown immune to the charms of rich, adrenaline-seeking men. Didn't take you too long, the illusion breaking as soon as any one of them opened their mouths. Some you tolerate more than others, but some you'd rather steer clear of completely.

This isn't to say that you've brushed all of them off. You might have agreed to a date here and there but nothing ever stuck, the nature of your jobs a bit too similar and all too different at the same time. You've given up on the prospect that you'll somehow end up with one of the many Formula 1 drivers you've interviewed and spoken to. And you've spoken to a lot. You've had this gig since you were shipped off fresh from uni and one too many 'What happened there?'s and 'Tell me about qualifying's can put a damper on the romantic side of things.

But someone new's in town. Well, er, new in the paddock. And you'd be lying if you said you weren't even a little bit excited.

He's charming, that much you can already tell. He walks into the media pen like he's done it thousands of times before and you have to actively suppress a smile as he walks over. Confidence is always a plus. For the interview, of course.

"Hola, Franco. Antes que nada, enhorabuena," you greet warmly, extending your arm over the barrier to place the microphone nearer to him. Hi, Franco. First of all, congratulations.

Franc's eyebrows shoot up, a wolfish grin settling on his face. "Oh. I thought this was an English interview?"

You smile back. "It is, but I know my way around Spanish, as well."

"Ah," Franco nods. "Gracias, _______."

"You know my name?" You ask, momentarily forgetting that you're being taped and recorded. You clear your throat, ignoring the quiet snicker from your cameraman.

"Yeah, I've seen you around and watched some of your other interviews," Franco confirms, a hand settling on his hip as he leans against the barrier, closer to you.

You can smell his perfume from where you stand.

"Thank you, I've heard and seen a lot about you as well," you respond, trying to return to your original train of thought.

"Which is why I want to ask you how it feels on your first day as a Formula 1 driver," you quickly follow. "Have you done anything special to prepare for this weekend? Other than the obvious, of course."

Another easy smile spreads across Franco's lips. "I've definitely added to my training and done some new things to prepare. I haven't done a full F1 weekend before so everything will be new."

"We definitely don't have reporters like you in the lower Formulas," he adds.

You feel a violent blush rip up through your neck all the way to your cheeks. As if the Monza heat wasn't enough.

"Well, I'm glad you could meet me here," you manage to get out.

The thing is, Franco isn't even the most attractive driver you've met. He's definitely up there, but not the most.

That's a discussion you have with yourself semi-weekly: ranking the drivers in terms of attractiveness, factoring in personalities and general attitudes towards the people around them, specifically the media.

Look, people love to shit on the media and press, calling journalism all sorts of derogatory words, but you're just here to do your job, like anyone else. And it gets pretty fucking hard when your boss is ringing your phone every five minutes demanding four stories by tomorrow and drivers are sassing you out as if you asked them if they've murdered their whole family.

So, naturally, the way they treat you determines a big chunk of how you think your day is going to pan out.

And right now, Franco seems to be lifting your spirits just fine.

"What are your goals for this weekend? Are points on the horizon for you at your first F1 race?" You continue, trying not to stare at the way Franco starts to rub at the back of his neck, bashful all of a sudden.

"We'll try," Franco begins. He plants both his hands on the barrier and leans even closer. You have to physically take a step back.

You gulp. Franco smiles.

"Anything is possible this weekend."

-

"You broke the internet last night."

You scoff, sending your cameraman a vicious side-eye. It's crowded in the paddock today, everyone wanting to get a glimpse of the new rookie, it seems. Such is the eagerness for this young driver that even that 30-second clip of your interview with him blew right up in your face. Your inboxes at capacity, your own voice speaking back to you with every other swipe on your TikTok.

It's not all bad, though. A tweet with one of your Instagram photos attached to it captioned 'TE ENTIENDO MUCHO FRANCO ES MUY LINDA PERIODISTA' did weasel out a chuckle from you.

Your cameraman shrugs, gesturing with a jerk of his head in front of you.

"There he is. I'm sure he knows all about it."

You look over to where he's pointing and lo and behold, Franco is right there, chatting with a few Williams team members, his race suit hanging undone around his waist. He turns to you even before you can fully register that it's him you're looking at.

But your training kicks in even faster. A megawatt smile appears on your lips and you wave enthusiastically at Franco.

"Hi."

"_______," Franco says, face lighting up at the sight of you. Your name seems to fall even more effortlessly off his lips.

You reach over and pull him into a half-hug with one arm, but both his arms wind around you and you have no choice but to squeeze back.

"You saw?" Franco asks, a gleam in his eye as he pulls away. His hand remains casually on the small of your back.

"Saw what?" You know what it is he's asking but you'd like to hear it from him.

"We went viral, no?" Franco says with a laugh, reaching further around you and squeezing your waist. You lean into his touch, heart jumping as his fingers graze just underneath your cropped top.

"That's all because of you," you reason, pointing an accusatory finger at Franco. "I bet you say that to all the other reporters."

The Williams team members standing nearby burst out laughing and even your cameraman affords a snicker. A deep blush spreads across Franco's face as he rubs your side reassuringly.

"No, no, I don't. Just you," Franco admits with another lighthearted laugh.

"Sure," you say with exaggerated skepticism. You pull away from his touch, catching his hand before he slips it fully off of you.

"I'll talk to you later," you say. And it's fully intentional, the words you choose to say. I'll talk to you later. Not 'I'll catch you later' or 'I'll see you later'.

I will talk to you later.

Franco understands, giving your hand a squeeze.

-

Later that day, you pray that no one catches you grinning behind your hand as Franco takes the chequered flag at qualifying.

P11.

Almost there.

-

"Hi. Come in."

Franco beams at you from across the threshold, stepping into your room with slow, measured steps.

"Great qualifying," you compliment, eyes traveling down Franco's body, noting the way his team kit hugs his frame just right, his hands shoved into his pockets, exposing just his arms, veins and all.

Your eyes snap back up to his face when you hear the door shut in place.

"Q2 on your debut. Not bad," you go on, taking a step back. Franco takes one toward you.

"You're just repeating what you said at the media pen earlier," Franco points out. He reaches out and gently circles an arm around your waist.

Always straight to the point.

Like this morning.

You tried not to make it so obvious when you ran into Franco earlier, but all you could think about was The Message.

You were doing your cursory social media checks a few minutes after you had woken up, still snug in your bed and unwilling to get up just yet. A message in your Instagram inbox caught your attention, sitting at the very top of your 'verified followers' tab.

Franco Colapinto: hola, hermosa 😉

It took a minute for your motor functions to return, your fingers hovering over the keyboard as you pored over what to reply. You settled on a nonchalant greeting, asking if Franco needed anything.

You realized rather belatedly that this was looking a little familiar. You wished he wouldn't say the dreaded answer, the more-than-predictable response that every man liked to use.

Franco Colapinto: you, maybe?

You groaned into your pillow, not because you were repulsed by his answer, but because you liked it. If you were easy, then so was he.

You: i finish work at 9 pm tonight...? 👀

It's 9 PM now. Franco's in the room and your hand is running up his chest.

Easy.

"It's such an honor," Franco teases, backing you up further into the room. His hands feel heavy on your waist and your heart hammers against your chest.

"I get to work with people like you now," Franco continues, stopping right in front of the bed.

The kiss comes as a shock more so because of how good Franco kisses. One of his hands is now cradling the back of your head, keeping you in place while he licks into your mouth, groaning with every pucker of your lips.

You pull away for barely a second to get both of your tops off before you dive back in, seemingly too desperate and too starved for each other's mouths. Franco's hands are everywhere; they run down your arms, paw at your waist, tugging at the belt loops of your jeans.

You giggle as he pulls you even closer, your bare chests pressed against each other. Franco pulls back and peers down at you, reaching behind to unclasp your bra. You let it fall, already guiding one of his hands to your tits.

"Couldn't stop staring at them?" You ask, your voice rising with an innocent lilt.

Franco kneads at the mound beneath his hand, eliciting a moan from you. He grins.

"I wanted you to notice," Franco admits simply, kissing you again.

"Perv," you mumble against his lips. Franco laughs, already undoing his trousers.

You wiggle your own way out of your jeans, letting Franco get the shortest of glimpses at your baby pink underwear before you discard them off to the side.

"Mierda, you're so sexy," Franco compliments as you crawl backward onto the bed, laying back and letting your hair splay out beneath you.

Franco pounces on you like a man starved, bare atop your own naked body, his arms caging you in.

"Big moves from somebody so new," you whisper, carding your fingers through Franco's soft locks.

"I like to make a statement," Franco says with a shrug. He glances up momentarily, something piquing his interest off to the side.

"Is that your camera?"

You crane your neck to see where he's looking and sure enough, your personal DSLR is right there on the bedside drawer. You look back at Franco, an eyebrow raised.

"You wanna use it?" You ask, not expecting him to actually say yes. But a mischievous grin settles on Franco's face and you feel your heart skip several beats.

"Knock yourself out," you say.

Franco reaches for the camera and fiddles with it for a few seconds. His eyes scan over your body and you suddenly feel the urge to hide away with how hard he's looking.

"May I?" Franco asks, brandishing the camera. Your mouth falls open as you realize what he's asking.

"You can keep them for yourself. For your eyes only," Franco hurriedly adds, planting his knees firmly on either side of you.

You stare up at him, a million thoughts running through your mind.

"Just...touch yourself."

You gasp, stunned at his proposal. Franco watches through the LCD monitor, glancing up at you through his lashes. Your bottom lip slips between your teeth, and as if on instinct, your hand inches down slowly between your legs.

"You're in front of cameras all the time," Franco reminds with a smirk. "This should be easy for you."

You suppress a whimper at his words, your fingertips swiping through your slick folds. You're already soaked and you start to wonder if it started even before Franco got here.

The shutter clicks and the lens whirs, sharp against the soft breaths you're letting out. Franco is concentrated, snapping photo after photo as you rub yourself closer to release. But it's not enough. You need more.

"Franco...," you implore, peering up with bright, begging eyes.

"Slowly, mi amor," Franco coos. "Just where you like it. Right there."

Click.

"Harder now, but still slow. Yes? Feels good?"

You whine, eyes fluttering shut as your pleasure picks up again. Several clicks. You're panting now, the tendrils of release wrapping themselves around you.

"Faster, yes, like that," Franco eggs on. Your fingers speed up against your sensitive clit and a litany of Franco's name spills from your lips. Before you know it, he's putting the camera away. You reach for him, gripping the back of his neck as he smashes his lips into yours.

Franco bites down on your lip and you cry out, your orgasm washing over you like a tide. You arch against Franco, feeling his own stiffness heavy on your thigh.

You blink, Franco's face coming into focus, barely an inch from yours. He watches you closely, pupils blown wide and plump lips even redder. You hook your legs around his waist, letting him know that you're not done yet.

Franco is quick to pick up, smiling as lines himself up with you. The groan that escapes him is nothing short of delicious as he pushes himself in. You gasp along, the stretch a welcome sensation.

Franco wastes no time and pounds right into you, catching you by surprise. You let your head fall back against the mattress, a long, drawn-out whine erupting from deep within your chest as Franco licks a stripe up your neck.

Your whole body quakes with how hard he's thrusting into you but you're clearly enjoying it if your wanton moans are anything to go by. Franco meets your eyes and you pull him down, wanting nothing more than to drown in those lips of his.

It's feral and it's unrestrained, spurred on by the knowledge that this is more than unprofessional in your line of work. Not illegal by any means, but risky enough to warrant warnings from your coworkers. Never sleep with a driver unless you're committed.

Oh, well.

Franco groans loudly in your ear, movements losing their rhythm as he speeds up. You're clinging to him as if he'd disappear if you let go, your own belly tightening once more with that familiar feeling.

Franco. Franco. Franco.

He kisses you just as he finishes. Passionate, eager, heady. You feel him inside you, a different kind of elation filling you as you release all over him.

Franco pulls away to allow yourselves to breathe. He pulls out, rolling over to your side. You hug your folded knees to your chest, too lazy to get up and find something to deal with the mess.

"No hagas eso. Eso es demasiado doméstico," Franco jokes, moving closer and planting a kiss to your shoulder. Don't do that. That's too domestic.

"Relájate, estoy usando anticonceptiva," you reassure with a lighthearted roll of your eyes. Relax, I'm on birth control.

Franco hums, laying an arm over you. He pulls you close and you face him, reaching up to brush away some of his unruly hair.

He plants a gentle kiss on your forehead.

"Happy that you're a Formula 1 driver?" You ask, grinning.

Franco chuckles. "Very."

[sunsetcupid]

YOUNG LOVE ; UNIVERSITY!AU.

synopsis: They say that high school are the best years of your life. . .But welcome to YUN, where three love interests are waiting in the wings for you. Freshman!Isack Hadjar, who is assigned as your partner for a physics project. Junior!Oscar Piastri, who is the lead manager of your new workplace. And Senior!Max Verstappen, who is your Dutch tutor.

trigger warnings: Use of Y/N; Use of feminine pronouns from the reader’s perspective; Depiction of a love triangle; Descriptions of romantic acts and behaviors; Suggestive remarks

a message from the author: When I tell you, this took me over a week to make. . . Think of this as a Gossip Girl!AU, but set at a University (Your University Name, or YUN for short). There are three love interests, plus some cameos from extra characters (Yes, Lando and Oscar are dating in this). At the end, you will choose which love interest you want. I am so curious to see who you all like the most! Enough of my yapping, I hope you love this just as much as I do. Have fun reading!

yourusername First year at YUN has officially started!

comments 150

user1 Very excited!

user2 Can’t believe we’re already in uni

user3 Time flies 🥹

user4 What are you majoring in again?

user5 Has anyone downloaded the YUN Gossip app?

user6 OMG yes! Heard it was where everything goes down…

yourbffusername Best roomie 😋

yourusername All set up!

yourbffusername replied to the Instagram story

So aesthetic 😍

user7 replied to the Instagram story

Love the layout!

user8 replied to the Instagram story

What dorm are you in? Your room looks awesome!

user9 replied to the Instagram story

Littt ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

user10 replied to the Instagram story

Miss you already!!

comments 3

isackhadjar Hello Y/N, it is nice to see someone who shares the same major. Programming has always been an interest of mine, though coding does give me a headache sometimes.

user11 Hi Y/N, I am also from England, but I’m native to Oxford. You’re so lucky to be born in London! I visited once and it was super interesting. Have you ever taken a tour inside Buckingham Palace?

user12 Hey Y/N, I’m a freshman as well! Are you nervous at all for the next four years? My sister just graduated last year as a Psychology major, but I’m majoring in Chemistry. I’ve heard some things about how tough college is, but I think we’ll both make it through!

|| [NEW EMAIL]

From: Professor Yates (emeyates@yun.org)

To: PHY3009

BCC: Physics Project (DUE 08/30)

Dear Class,

For those who missed today’s lecture, a new project has been assigned for this class. Partners were listed on the whiteboard, and a photo is attached to this email. If there are any concerns with these pairings I have selected, please let me know by 08/17.

Thank you all, and have a great day.

Sincerely.

Professor Emelia Yates

🖇️ phy3009partners.png

yourusername

comments 24

isackhadjar WHY THAT PHOTO?? I feel betrayed

user11 Summer I Turned Pretty mention! 💖

user12 HAHAHA 3rd slide

user13 Slayyy

yourbffusername <3

user14 LOL 😭 😭 😭

|| NEW NOTIF: YUN Gossip [08/19] — Looks like Christmas will be coming to YUN early, because Die Hard will be playing at the Wilson Theater on 08/22. Buy tickets now!

|| NEW NOTIF: YUN Gossip [08/22] — Leaked photos attached between Freshman Isack Hadjar and rumored girlfriend at YUN movie night!

|| [NEW EMAIL]

From: Oscar Piastri (oscpiastri@mayleaf.com)

To: Y/N L/N (ynln@yun.org)

BCC: Interview

Dear Y/N L/N,

Thank you for applying for a position at Mayleaf Books. We appreciate your interest at working at our bookstore. Combined with your previous experience, we would like to offer you a role as sales associate. The starting pay is $12 per hour.

Please respond to this email as soon as possible to ensure that you are accepting this position.

Regards,

Oscar Piastri (Lead Manager)

yourusername Everyone calls him polite cat, but I think he’s really a grumpy cat. Comparison post coming soon.

oscarpiastri replied to the Instagram story

Stop playing around and maybe I’d be nicer to you

user15 replied to the Instagram story

Seeing Oscar Piastri slander on my feed was NOT expected, but I’ll take it!

user16 replied to the Instagram story

I SEE IT 🫢

user17 replied to the Instagram story

Wait because you’re cooking...

yourbffusername replied to the Instagram story

He’s lowkey fineeee 🥵🥵🥵

yourusername God bless Nora Roberts

comments 19

user18 SEND ME BOOK RECS

user19 I love her books too, OMG! 🤯

user20 Cool book haul!

oscarpiastri Looks like those are interesting books. Let me know how they are once you have read them.

user21 Love this 💓💓

|| NEW NOTIF: YUN Gossip [01/02] — Junior Oscar Piastri caught in a passionate makeout session with Junior Lando Norris and unknown girl inside Mayleaf Books!

|| [NEW EMAIL]

From: Fernando Alonso (feralonso@yun.org)

To: Y/N L/N (ynln@yun.org)

BCC: New Classes for the Spring Semester

Dear Students,

New classes will be added to the curriculum starting this spring. A full comprehensive list can be found in the attachment of this email. If there are any concerns, send them forward to jenbutton@yun.org.

Respectfully,

Fernando Alonso (Dean)

🖇️ springclasses.pdf

yourusername Another long day at the library. #I HATE DUTCH.

user22 replied to the Instagram story

Me right now with French 🤝

user23 replied to the Instagram story

Most valid crash out

yourbffusername replied to the Instagram story

Sighh 😥

maxverstappen replied to the Instagram story

Maybe if you listened to me, you would like it more. I’ll be there in ten minutes.

yourusername Guess I have to thank maxverstappen now 😔

user24 replied to the Instagram story

No, his ego will get too big and he will float away 😓

user25 replied to the Instagram story

AWESOME! 🎉

user26 replied to the Instagram story

Yes queen!! Academic weapon 🤓🤓

maxverstappen replied to your Instagram story

See? I knew you could do it. You are very smart when you want to be. Want to celebrate? I know just the spot.

|| NEW NOTIF: YUN Gossip [03/09] — Senior Max Verstappen seen leaving Keeley Bar with mystery woman. Unknown whether it is his girlfriend or not...

Credits: Dividers — @bernardsbendystraws; Graphics — Both Pinterest and self-made

[folkloresthings]

TOLERATE IT / FA14.

in which the older sister of lando norris finds herself teetering dangerously towards the precipice of her brother’s, significantly older, colleague.

( fernando alonso x norris!reader )

track one: gold rush. track two: delicate. track three: labyrinth. track four: false god. track five: happiness. track six: the 1. track seven: daylight. track eight: lover.

✩⡱ warnings: age gap! reader is 25, fernando is 41. some cursing and sexual references.

INSTAGRAM.

liked by pierregasly, christianhorner, and 938,847 others

f1 We are so delighted to announce our new F1 x Red Cross Ambassador, Y/N Norris! Y/N went straight from Oxford University into the world of charity work. She has worked with the Red Cross for over 4 years and will now be working alongside Formula 1 in our ongoing support of the charity’s campaigns. Keep an eye out for our future fundraising events, auctions, and other exciting things!

view all 798,211 comments

landonorris go sister that’s my sister!!

danielricciardo does this mean more y/n in the paddock? because that will make race weekend so much more enjoyable

⤷ yourusername indeed it will honey badger 🫡 if you ever need a sub to drive for you, i’m in

user nepo baby job. she’s only working with f1 because her brother’s lando norris

⤷ user it’s f1 we’re talking about, they’re ALL nepo babies. at least y/n has been working with charities for years, it’s not completely random

fernandoalo_official great news!! see you on the paddock yourusername

comment liked by yourusername and 849 others

hungary was warmer than you had expected, that humid sort of heat that made you feel yucky no matter how many times you’d showered. but amongst the sea of sweaty drivers and mechanics, it could have felt much worse. lando had given you the grand tour of the paddock and track but duty called, and with your brother called off to some interview, you were left trackside.

there were no cars due to be on the track, so you were able to get as close as possibly. for years you’d gone to your brothers races, listened to his fanatic rants, and tried so hard to understand why he loved the sport so much. but now, standing and looking out at the quiet track, you started to understand the beauty.

“hello, again.” you jumped a little, the voice cutting through the peace. when you turned, you found fernando on the other side of the pit wall, looking at you through the gap in the fence. you chuckled, feeling caught, looking up at him.

“hi there,” you greeted, blinking innocently. but behind those eyes were little innocence, same as his own. you hadn’t slept with the driver, you weren’t that quick, but the night he’d spent in your apartment was long. wondering kisses, stolen touches, hesitance to leave. you both wanted more, but neither wanted to give in.

“you’re tagging along for the season, then?” he asks, eyes gleaming with possibility. you nod, humming quietly. as excited as you were for this job, another kind of excitement came knowing you’d be seeing fernando every weekend. “first time in hungary?”

“no, second. i travelled with some of my girlfriends during uni and we stopped in budapest for a few days — though i don’t remember most of it,” you admitted, cheeks turning red at the memory. he laughed, head thrown back with pure delight. it made your stomach twist endlessly.

“well, let me refresh your memory. i’ll take you to dinner tonight,” he offers, charming as ever. your brows raise, trying to differentiate his flirtations from his sincerity. “consider it a congratulations on the new job.”

you’re getting ready to refuse, knowing how lando would react and the complications it would bring, when fernando’s hand slipped through the pit wall railing, brushing over yours until it rests on top. you look down, noticing just how much bigger his hand is than yours. stronger, too, with more defined knuckles and much more worn down from years of driving.

“please say yes,” he whispers, even though there’s no one else around, and squeezes your hand softly. you sigh, meeting his deadly gaze once more.

“alright. but i want italian food.”

INSTAGRAM.

liked by charles_leclerc, fernandoalo_official, and 877,153 other

yourusername how’d you turn it right around?

view all 619,553 comments

user A MAN’S HAND

lilymhe literally the prettiest girl ever

carlossainz55 hermosa 😍

⤷ user is carlos the mystery man ??????

landonorris i let you out of my sight for five minutes JEEZ

landonorris now who is he so i can break his hands

TWITTER.

IMESSAGE.

writers note: lando stop cockblocking. also that b&w pic of flo is one of my favourites ever i can’t stop staring at it

[exy-and-i-know-it]

I just work here

Based on this post by @all-for-the-things-breathing on Tumblr

Neil works at Exites because it's as good as he knows his Exy career will get, and he knows that for his safety, it must stay that way until one day, the Queen of Exy decides he simply must have him. (This is sort of a crack fic, but I can't write crack to save my life, so it's pretty serious until the very end. I'm also fairly new to writing in the past tense, so there is that.)

Note: The author of this prompt wrote a fic for this themselves, but I didn't see that at the time of my writing this (5th June). I haven't read it, but if you like this fic, you should probably check it out on their Tumblr @all-for-the-things-breathing.

A regular uni student, that’s what Neil Josten was. Absolutely, very, totally extremely, every word in the thesaurus, ordinary, that was for sure. Well, as ordinary as you can get with a serial killer for a father and a mobster for a mother. Still, he’d managed quite well on his own he thought, managing to procure a job, just so it wasn’t too suspicious how he was so easily affording school. Okay, maybe a job as a sales clerk at a sporting goods store was that good a cover for his stolen cash, but jobs are hard to find!

And, in his defence, Exties was just any sporting goods store, no, no no. Excites was a speciality store. They sold gear for one sport and one sport only: Exy. This happened to be the sport that Neil lived and breathed by, as much as he could anyway. He’d played Little League up until junior high, but that was all it was ever going to be for him. Having a team meant committing for a year, it meant putting down roots which he couldn’t do when on the run where he might need to skip town at a moment’s notice. He certainly couldn’t pick up the sport in uni, that would only force upon him the very notoriety he’d been trying to avoid all his life. He’d made his peace with that, and this life in general. But he could watch, and he could dream.

This was as close to Exy as he was going to get, and that was good enough (it wasn’t), it had to be. And he did get to play some (barely, not really), when customers were trying out new racquets and needed someone to practise against. He’d copped to his junior high experience in his interview, it was the most honest he’d been in a while and his head spun when the manager hired him on the spot. Apparently the rest of the staff were just more broke kids taking whatever they could get. There were a few little league coaches who helped and some high school coaches who came in to advise on panels the store held occasionally, but they were never around reliably, so demonstrations and “try-ons” fell, nearly exclusively, to Neil. If he was a bit proud of that, he didn’t have to bring it up. Either way, the staff were glad to have him around. (If it didn’t make sense to him why someone would work in a shop selling gear for a sport they’d never even tried, he kept himself from saying so.)

And life in South Carolina wasn’t bad. The weather was good, in all but the peak of winter in December and January, and when it got hot the aircon in the store would be on blast anyway. It wasn’t bad at all. On break, he’d chip away at the seemingly endless amounts of maths homework, or, if he was particularly tired, breeze through the Spanish with ease. He’d never tried the language before, but after years of living nearly everywhere, language came easy to him, a survival skill. and gaining a new one was comforting.

Truthfully, he’d never imagined university, never thought he’d make it, couldn’t imagine it. When it had crossed his mind, he’d thought of somewhere farther away, but international meant paperwork and money didn’t grow on trees. But he’d needed to go. He justified it with the reasoning that he’d eventually need a job, even a low or mid-level one, and a big crowd would be easier to hide in, plus it was guaranteed housing for four years, though he planned to graduate as quickly as possible. Right now, he was sorely wishing he had consistent enough transcripts that he could have done dual enrollment and graduated in two years instead. While he was glad for some creature comforts, the thought of staying in one place for so long honestly made him nauseous. He settled for taking an enormous classload instead, and with this job, and perhaps some work on the side (using skills he’d picked up on the run… this was far enough away for word not to get back to his father’s men, right?) he could even do summer classes again like he did last year before he’d had to get as stingy with his money. He was puzzling it out, going through the logistics of it in his head when the bell chimed.

“Store closes in 30 minutes,” he said out of habit. 

There was no answer. He was tempted to look up, but he was so close to finishing his revision pamphlet that he didn’t want to break his concentration.

When it was done he sighed and glanced at his watch. ‘Still 25 minutes until closing.’ The store had gotten a delivery earlier, maybe he could play with the newest model of racquets.

A benefit of being a favourite was that the manager pretended not to notice if Neil stayed a few minutes after closeup just to feel a racquet in his hand. He’d asked him once, why he didn’t play for real. Neil said told the man he wasn’t good enough. That was probably true.

Even still, he liked it, loved it. Here, he’d gotten to “spar” with all kinds of players almost every day. Between that, early morning jogs, and making it to the school’s gym when he could, he’d managed to stay in pretty decent shape despite all the time he spent sitting at a desk. It helped that food wasn’t in abundance with the skimpy meal plan he’d chosen.

“Neil!” The sound of his name jolts Neil out of his thoughts.

“Yeah- uh, yes?”

“Need you up here for a try-out.” The manager shouted down from the top story. The store was so empty his voice carried fine. His tone was light and he was only in his early thirties, so Neil didn’t flinch.

“Coming!”

Perhaps a little too eager, Neil bounded up the steps.

The manager clapped him on the shoulder when he got to the top, saying not quietly enough, “Thoese are university athletes, the real deal. Be careful.”

Neil couldn’t make himself care, he wanted to play, even if just a few swings. “Oh, yeah, thanks. I’m locking up?”

“Sure,” he handed Neil the keys, “Have a good night, Neil.” Then he turned and added, “Study hard!”

It was sweet that he’d remembered the test Neil had mentioned off-hand yesterday. “Yes, Mr. Thompson.”

Warmed, Neil walked towards the mini court and faced the customers. He opened his mouth to give the usual spiel, but nothing came out.

He didn’t need to tell these people what to do, who was he kidding? One face stuck out, burned, like a memory, like a cigarette, like a car, like the blade of an axe in his stomach.

Kevin Day. Holding a light racquet in his right hand.

‘Fuck.’

If he hadn’t just spoken to the manager he would’ve used his English accent, but he’d been stupid, let his guard down, forgotten to observe his surroundings, and thus limited his options. ‘Dammit!’

From experience, he knew he had about five seconds to act normal before making his incredibly awkward and potential very, very dangerous. Pretend to be clueless. Random bullshit, go!

“You all ready to test out the racquet? Have you found everything alright so far?” It sounded stupid, stupidly bland in front of this audience, but what choice did he have?

Kevin just gave a stilted, “Yes, it’s fine.” He looked almost as relieved as Neil felt not to be recognised. Weird. There’s no way that was possible. His eyes darted towards the court, but he couldn’t be as eager as Neil. No way. As calmly as possible, because this is what he was good at, Neil began unlocking the court.

The member of Palmetto State’s Exy team had brought his own gear, obviously. This was only a practice round to get a feel for the new racquet, but that didn’t make the Exy balls any softer. While he put it on, Neil took advantage of his distraction to steady himself as he put on his own gear. He took a breath, reminding himself of burning rubber and bone. As if he could ever forget. Those were the stakes, he needed to tread with utmost caution or be dragged back to Baltimore to be laid out like a pig on some stolen lab table, bled then gutted. Maybe his father would be quick.

“You coming, I don’t have all day.”

Neil jumps at Kevin’s voice, so familiar, so distant. This isn’t at all like the Kevin Day whose every interview he’d watched when he could, no, this person was all rough edges, and empty.

“Yeah.”

Shaking it off as best he could (Why couldn’t he? He’d seen worse.), he grabbed his racquet, (well it belonged to the store, but for this purpose, the manager had written his name on a piece of painter’s tape and stuck it on) and headed inside.  Unlike most courts, this one locked from the inside for liability purposes.

It was strange to watch Kevin grip the racquet with his other hand like the earth had shifted its axis.

Then Kevin swung. It was gentler than Neil expected like he was testing his hand, making sure it could bear the racquet’s weight. The sight was a little sad. Kevin adjusted quickly, he wouldn’t be here if he couldn’t, and tossed the ball to Neil.

Reminding himself to focus, Neil tossed the ball robotically back. A human pitching machine, that’s what he had to be. Sure, he had a little fun showing off in front of younger customers and even casual high school players, but there was no way he could pull that on the Queen of Exy. And even if he could, Kevin didn’t need that. Neil was sure he was already feeling terrible about his skiing accident already. If Neil couldn’t himself play Exy he should be glad Kevin was at least getting a chance back on the court.

Kevin’s gaze was intense and Neil was very glad for his helmet obscuring at least part of his face.

Neil had learnt that sometimes, as much as it pained him, the best way to appear unsuspicious was to not worry at all, so he threw himself into the game. Every thought was consumed with the trajectory of the ball. How weird would it look if he blocked that? How weird would it look if he didn’t? He’d never played while so carefully calculating his every move and it was at once terrifying, painful, and brilliant. He’s not sure he ever wanted to do it again. He would be glad when Kevin left. He was supposed to ask questions while the customer tried out the racquet, but he thought it was fair to assume Kevin could judge the feel for himself, even in his other hand.

Eventually, Neil lost track of time. It could have been five or ten minutes that had passed, maybe less, maybe more. Exy always did that to him, that’s why it was so dangerous.

When he looked, really looked at Kevin’s face for the first time in a while, a frightening smile sat there, a wicked grin, pure Exy adrenaline. Neil was jealous, so jealous.

And then the fun started. Kevin’s shots became tighter, more precise, more forceful, less a try-out and more something you see in a game. Goal after goal, the red lights must have been working overtime. Neil was worried that the off-brand walls of Exites’ court wouldn’t be able to take too much of this. Should he be blocking more of the shots? He could, but… Kevin’s expression was somewhat manic, not scary, not after all Neil had seen, but overzealous for sure. 

It was instinct, self-defence almost. Everything in Neil’s body screamed not to let him lose. Every time those damned lights blinked red, it sent a prickle of anger through his chest. As Kevin’s shots increased in speed, Neil found himself matching pace or rather didn’t find himself. He was completely lost in the game.

And the ball was coming towards him once more, the strongest shot yet. Fucking brilliant. Neil jumped, just a little, it was muscle memory at this point and sent the ball flying back in the other direction. He was surprised, and yet not when it slammed into “Away-court”’s goal, exciting the red lights. He wasn’t bad but this was Kevin Day. Shit. What now? He could easily enough dismiss it as a fluke (he knew he couldn’t). As he considered it, he walked, at what he could best determine to be a reasonable pace, to retrieve the ball.

Ball now in hand, he made himself face Kevin or rather his back. 

Kevin was completely still.

The only noise Neil would swear was a chuckle, probably coming from one of the guys who had come in with Kevin. “Interesting,” one of them said, but he sounded bored.

“Sir?” It felt wrong to call him that, but what else could Neil do? “Are you alright? Is the racquet suitable? You can try another if you like.” The suggestions were hollow and miserable.

“Five minutes.” was Kevin’s only reply.

“What?”

“Five minutes. You scored on me in five minutes, closer to three if you count the way you were barely trying before. Trust me, you think I didn’t notice? Do you know who I am?”

Internally, Neil was asking the very same question.

Kevin’s words weren’t arrogant, just incredulous. 

Neil shook his head, still readying his vocal cords for more lies. Under Kevin’s stare, he realised he had to say something. “Uh, the manager said you guys were college athletes.” At last, Neil made himself look at Kevin’s three companions. Two blonds close to Neil’s height and the third, a brunet closer to Kevin’s.

“Sir, no smoking in the store.” the words fell out automatically at the sight of the cigarette after a year and a half of working here, but he wished he’d said nothing.

A hand grabs his shoulder and he’s ready to fight, his racquet is on the other side of the court, but the ball is heavy enough. 

He’s lucky Kevin still has his helmet on.

“Jeez, he’s a flighty one. Strange for what he just did to Kevi.” one of the guys whispers not quietly enough, the tall one, maybe, Neil guessed.

“I’m sorry!” The apology is acidic on his tongue, this is survival, there is no time for sorry, but he means it. 

“You’re sorry?” Kevin still looks dazed.

Time to play dumb. “Yes, of course. I don’t normally hit customers I swear, you can ask Manager Thompson. You just startled me is all.” yeah that was about as convincing as a sales proposition for the Brooklyn Bridge. Neil lived a life of lies, so why now…

Kevin rolled his eyes, looking rather like he’d forgotten he had his helmet on when he went to smack his palm to his forehead. With a slight flush, he took it off, holding it like one would a basketball against his side. Oh, well, Neil hated simpering anyway, he was relieved honestly. And if he just remembered he needed to take his own helmet off, that was no one’s business but his own.

“You really don’t know?”

Now Neil could be annoyed. It was clear from the look on Kevin’s face he didn’t suspect a thing. Maybe he could try to sell him the bridge now, but either way, he could afford some false ire now.

“No.” The word was sharp and stubborn in a way that contradicted his previous show of floundery, but it felt real on his lips. Still, there was no reason to go off on Kevin, not now, it best to stay under the radar as he always had. He shrugged, imagining taking a file to his edges, the rough grating sound resulting in something smooth, and pleasant. “No, I don’t really follow the professional stuff.” Of all the lies Neil had told in his ten and eight years, that was somehow the biggest.

Kevin actually seemed to calm down at this, “I’m a striker for Palmetto State University,” He paused after that. Of course, the words felt foreign, until recently he’d been a Raven working under the founder of Exy himself. Neil knew from experience his face would give nothing away. He was glad for that, to be honest, he was surprised Kevin hadn’t said his name, maybe he to was secretly hoping for some anonymity. Kevin cleared his throat, “the Foxes.”

Neil nodded, not sure where this was going. Did Kevin think he was dumb? Well, he hadn’t exactly given him a reason not to think so.

“Why haven’t you tried out?!” The words are sudden, an explosion of confusion, like it was the strangest thing in the world, or at least Kevin’s expression would have made anyone think so.

“What?” This time, his confusion wasn’t a lie.

“You go to Palmetto, right?”

It was then that Neil looked down at himself. Underneath his Exites uniform vest, he wore a t-shirt in Palmetto’s ostentatious orange. He lived by saving money and blending in, before now he would’ve never chosen such a colour, but in a university town he blended right in, and this was one of his newest shirts, so even the cheap rough cotton was a nice change. 

In fact, he hadn’t even looked at what it said really, it had come from some charity event and a girl with dyed rainbow tips had been so sweet when handing them out that he couldn’t say no, so he’d dropped a five into the collection box (for an orphanage, maybe?) and taken a medium and been grateful. The benefit of a huge sports university like Palmetto was there was always some event or another with free swag.

Shit. he’d taken too long to answer. “Yeah. What of it?” Was that too snappy? But why wouldn’t Levin just go already? He could have checked out two minutes ago but here he was flaunting Neil’s dream in front of him like a matador in a bullring. He couldn’t help it, of course, being Mr. Exy himself but…

“So, why haven’t you tried out for the team?”

Neil was tempted to ask, “What team?” but selfishly didn’t want Kevin’s opinion of his intellect to stoop any lower, so he said, “I’m not a sports guy.” It’s true, he was an applied mathematics major. “And my schedule is already way too full for anything else.” Also true. “I want to graduate as quickly as possible,” Painfully true. “I don’t have time for any of that useless stuff, this is just what I do for extra cash.” Three gut-wrenching truths and two, terrible, terrible lies.

The words hurt. The honesty of revealing his crunched graduation schedule and the insult of Exy. But he had to do something to get Kevin out of here before he recognised him before Neil’s dreams could settle too deep into his bones. He’d worked so hard to force them down, to scrub them out, to burn them away alongside his mother’s blood.

He heard someone suck in a sharp breath, as if bracing for something, and turned to Kevin’s group. “Sorry.” but it didn’t sound at all like he meant it.

He pushed as much boredom as he could into his tone and made sure to get a head start towards the register as he asked, “Are you ready to check out now?” 

In his periphery, Kevin still hadn’t moved. “But- but you have talent!”

“Thank you. Will you be paying in cash or credit?” The dead-pan came easily after so many years.

One of the blonds began to howl with laughter that sounded slightly inhuman. Neil ignored him, instead preparing the point-of-sales device. “Can I get a name for the transaction? If you haven’t got an account, I can start one for you, I’ll just need a mobile number or email.”

The howling got louder. What sound did foxes make, again?

“But you have to! You can’t just sit on talent like that!”

“Oh sure you can. I do.” the blond chimed in through his laughter. The reassurance would have been nice if the laughter and arrogance weren’t a bit unsettling.

“Not. Fucking. Now, Minyard. I’ll deal with you later.” Kevin’s voice was a growl, but he didn’t even look at the blond. 

Minyard, or rather Minyards, plural. The twins: 05 and 03. Andrew or Aaron, Neil wondered vaguely. Who was he kidding? It had to be Andrew. His behaviour was the reason the Foxes got so much coverage last year. Neil knows he shouldn’t look at the brunette (who must be Nicky Hemmick), if he looks he’ll only be drawn into this conversation.

“Can you bring me the racquet, I don’t have the product ID memorised so I’ll have to scan the sticker,” Neil asked innocently, holding his hand out to Kevin who’d finally come off the court.

“Well, give him the damn racquet, Day, since he asked so nicely.” Andrew was laughing again, or still.

Kevin did. Neil was surprised. But when he got to the register he reached over the counter and grabbed an old recite and a pen and started scribbling before Neil could stop him. 

“Here.” he shoved the paper towards Neil, “the dates and locations for the try-out. I’ll confirm it with the coach tonight.”

What? Wh- 

Neil begged himself not to agree right then and there. Oh, he needed a cigarette, just to remind him, to remind him why he-

He let the paper fall hen pushed it cooly back across the counter, “That’s very generous of you, but no thank you.”

Kevin pressed on, sounding distressed now. “Why?”

“I already told you my reasons. Now may I get a name for the transaction, or an account number if you have one? I’d be happy to start one if you don’t, but keep in mind we’re about to close. Unless you’re out of here with this by nine pm, you’ll have to come back tomorrow, I don’t care who you are, that’s the manager’s rule, not mine.” He crossed his arms, suddenly feeling childish. But, it was necessary, saying yes would feel so good, too good, and would only get him dragged back to the very man he’d be trying to escape for so long. “And I’ve got homework.” He added, a bit petulantly.

Kevin opened his mouth again but was stopped when the brunette stepped up, placing a hand right over his face and smoothly taking the racquet. He placed the racquet across the counter with a curtsy that seemed more than a little sarcastic, “I’m so sorry about him, he was born with a racquet up his ass. The account should be under Wymack, that’s W-Y-M-A-C-K, first name David and we’ll be using credit.” When Neil finished entering the racquet’s information, he looked between the two men, before deciding it would be faster to give the form to the brunet.

The brunette gave him a smile that seemed just a bit too friendly and began to fill the form with a bright orange pen he’d pulled from behind his ear. He frowned when Neil didn’t seem impressed with the trick. It was only because his mother had spilt all the secrets of sleight of hand to him years ago. 

Thankfully the brunette was quick, when the information regarding colour and design was entered, Neil gave him the thumbs up. “Thanks. I assume that will be all. May I get a name for the order or just Wymack?”

And damn if it wasn’t just a little satisfying to see a look of surprise cross Kevin’s face. Neil had told him he didn’t know, but he guessed it hadn’t quite sunk in.

“Day, Kevin.” the brunet supplied, placing his hand back over Kevin’s face and pushing him away, back towards the blonds. Thank goodness. Maybe he could go to a game, just once, just to cheer this guy on. He could bring a big sign saying “Thanks for saving my life!” yeah, no.

Meanwhile, Andrew still had the look on his face like all of this was the funniest thing in the whole wide world.

“Okay. The other two should be here in a week, would you like a box or bag for this one?”

“Nah, save the turtles and all, thanks though.”

Neil almost laughed at that, almost. Thankfully he kept it in, or Kevin might have started talking again. And, it was almost nine. He really did have homework.

The group left as loudly as they came, all making fun of Kevin. And when they were clearly out of earshot, Neil laughed harder than he had in as long as he could remember, and when the laughter became coughing and then the acrid remains of tears he could no longer cry, he locked up and went back to the dorms.

He was alone on the bus, which was good. At night the drivers drove faster than they probably should, so he made a great time, and the jolt of every pothole kept him from thinking, imagining where he might be if he’d taken that paper. The group had left it there. He’d wanted to throw it away, so desperate, but like the miserable bastard he was, he pocketed it, just so later, when his luck inevitably ran out and he was being dragged towards a painful death he could remind himself that Kevin Day had wanted him, even if it wasn’t really him.

Thumbing the paper in the pocket of his ratty jeans as he climbed the steps to his dorm made him realise he had less dignity than Kevin. Of course, he did, he’d killed men. And he would have begged the exact same way if he’d been in Kevin’s place, everything and anything for the game. It wasn’t even a question.

At midnight, there was a knock on his door. His roommate didn’t stir, of course not, it was Friday night, so the man was probably near black-out drunk. In fact, Neil was surprised he came back so early. A power nap before hitting the club in an hour or two maybe? This must be his friends coming to collect him. 

Eye-roll at the ready, Neil opened the door. It wasn’t his roommate’s friends. Neil rolled his eyes anyway.

“Why are you here?” was pointless.

“You found my room number? Stalker. Leave or I’m calling campus police.”

“No, you won’t.” the blond from earlier, Andrew stepped out from behind Kevin. Neil hadn’t noticed him, he was so short.

“And why not?” Neil was already shutting the door.

Andrew jammed a racquet against the frame, preventing it from closing all the way. “Because you don’t want shit to do with pigs, I can tell.”

“Campus police hardly count.”

“No, they’ve got the real deal now, after Kevin’s transfer and all.”

Right, of course. Raven’s fans hadn’t been happy about the ordeal, nor had they been kind and they weren’t subtle about either. He’d heard rumours of the vandalism whispered in the corridors.

Dammit, why did this guy know exactly what to say? Did- Did Kevin recognise him? Was he sitting in the car thinking, and he made the connection? Did Kevin bring Andrew here as muscle to knock him out? He hadn’t seesaw hat care they were driving, but it must have been roomy to fit the four of them. They’d probably already called his father-

There was a fire escape just across the room behind him. Neil bolted. For once, he was too slow. Andrew shoved the racquet through the door, opening it wide and sending Neil sprawling. He lay, frozen on the floor, awaiting doom.

He grit his teeth, “I won’t go.”

Confusingly, Andrew stepped away, back towards the door, and took a place by Kevin in the doorway. As he went he sighed theatrically. “Jesus, fucking Christ, Josten -yeah we got your name from the lady too- what the hell did stickball do to —Fuck you! Not you- no, no, actually you too.” Andrew bent over clutching his ribs.

Kevin had taken the racquet and shoved it into Andrew’s side to shut him up. Neil squirmed upright in time to see the glint of a knife at Kevin’s throat.

“I have ears, fuckwad.”

“And yet you never use them.”

The blade moved upwards, “Would you like to never use yours again?”

Kevin glared, but Neil guessed that there was some understanding between them he wasn’t seeing because he shoved Andrew away like he wasn’t about to get the double Van Goh. No ears, one hand, they’d have to call him Number One then.

He walked towards Neil. Neil tensed. Fuck Exites’ metal detectors because no he had no weapon.

But Kevin just said, “Please.”

Please?

Oh yes, please go back to your father and get chopped up, just for me. Pretty please with a cherry on top. 

“Go fuck yourself.” Neil Josten wouldn’t have said that, and wouldn’t have started a confrontation, but if he was going back to Baltimore, he wasn’t going back without a fight.

Kevin groaned. “Great there’s two of you.”

What? Was he seeing double? Was he drunk?

“Andrew’s just like this you know, join and maybe you can find a friend.” Kevin turned to Andrew for backup. Andrew didn’t even acknowledge him, didn’t want to grace the plea with an answer.

“What?”

“Play Exy for the Foxes You have to,”

Neil tried to say he didn’t have to do a single damned thing for anyone, tried to ask what this had to do with anything. Was this some sort of deal with his father? Do well here then make him money playing Pro-Exy and Neil could live in peace? But Kevin didn’t let him get a word in.

“I can’t watch your talent go to waste like this. It hurts! Don’t you know what you could be? Don’t you want it? You should. You should want it like air to breathe. You could be Court for god’s sake!-” 

This went on for so long, that Neil stopped listening (he couldn’t, it hurt too much, it felt too good) and instead wondered if his roommate wasn’t really dead. Then he, Kevin Day, actually dropped to his knees and begged. Granted, Neil was still on the floor, but…

When Kevin finally took a breath, cursing that athletic stamina, Neil stood up. It was so quick he was a bit dizzy, and the room was lit up with spots for a moment. He regained his bearings quickly though when Kevin grabbed his legs, reminding him of his original purpose.

“Holy shit jackass, can you pretend to have some dignity??”

Kevin had no answer but, “I think he really wants you to play Exy with him.” Neil turned his head so fast it hurt. He’d forgotten Andrew was there. But he was, very, there, casually turning a lit lighter in his hands barely illuminating his cocked eyebrow and twisted grin.

It went against everything he lived by, it was everything he lived for. It was everything he’d given up long ago, it was everything he could still be. It would get Kevin to shut up.

But what really sold him… “Join. See how long you can keep his attention. You won’t have to stay long. I’ll be done with you by spring, but maybe he’ll keep you around till summer.” And Andrew stepped forward, yanked Kevin up and turned to go, “You still have our paper, don’t you?” The question dripped with faux pity.

Neil was at The Foxhole Court at 4:30 am the next morning.

(A/N: This was supposed to be a crack, but it got kind of internal dialogue-heavy. I’m sorry. Also, it is a bit longer than I intended because I suck at one-shots. The ending got tricky because I wasn’t too inspired on what to write for the actual dialogue bits of Kevin’s pleas and I didn’t want to rehash too much of Neil’s thought process against joining since we already know that so if it sounds weird that's why. I kinda feel like everyone was a bit out of character but this is only my second AFTG fic so… idk.)

[dr-spectre]

WE DID IT!!!!!!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE!!!!! This is such a big milestone. Halfway until 1000 followers... that's absolutely insane!!

This will be the last follower update until we reach 1000. But, I wanna share something special with you all and get rather personal...

So, about a year ago, I wanted to learn how to draw because I was feeling depressed about "not being productive enough." Basically I got sucked into the bullshit productivity self help stuff that wants to turn your life into a cold calculated work obsessed nightmare, rather than living in the moment due to fear mongering about the future and how "if you don't grind now you WILL be a failure and die alone and get no pussy." (No wonder I picked Team Present for the Grand Fest...)

Plus I dropped out of uni at the time and welp, to put it lightly, I was feeling fucking god awful and I was scared into basically "putting in the hard work" by all these self help channels and other bullshit online. Whatever the FUCK that vague shit means, my autistic brain still doesn't get it.

It was BY FAR the worst period of my life, but, at least I tried to do SOMETHING. And I wanna show you all some of the things that I drew last year....

This was between October 2023 to February 2024. I stopped drawing due to it causing me much frustration and anger.

So yeah! Uh... enjoy?

So.... not the best work you've seen, right? HAHAHAHAHA!

Would you freak out if I told you that I got upset and damaged a book and a fan because I got so mad at myself over not being able to draw or do anything right?...

I feel like this ain't for me, and you know what? That's okay! I've learnt that it's okay to try new things, it's okay to experiment and if shit doesn't work then it doesn't work. Plain and simple. It's perfectly fine to give up and try something else.

You are not a robot, you are a human being. Don't feel like you "gotta do something everyday otherwise you'll die alone and you'll be broke and you'll never be successful and you'll be forgotten!!"

Do feel pressured to feel like you have to "find your thing" or "be productive" or whatever kind of... heh.... BRAINWASHING you hear online.

I wanted to draw because I was jealous of others, including my friends who are skilled artists... and I did it for the wrong reasons which is why I stopped in February.

I am very happy that I've decided to actually focus on what i like doing and what gives me energy. A quote that has stuck with me for years now is a quote by Jordan Peele from an interview, and it's basically this-

"Follow the fun." And you know what? He's right. Following what gives you that good good boost of dopamine while also feeling like you're accomplishing something is one of the best feelings EVER!!!! Whether it's art, writing, modelling, sculpting, architecture, making music, acting, clay sculptures, etc. FOLLOW THE FUN!! FOLLOW THE SHIT THAT EXCITES YOU!!! I literally always have multiple projects spiralling around in my head all the time and cycling between them at every given moment.

I'm not even saying do only what makes you comfortable or be lazy either, do shit that makes you go "BRING IT ON!!!! I WANNA DO THIS!!!" Get that blood pumping!!! Challenge yourself fairly!!!! There's healthy and unhealthy stress. Healthy stress should make you feel like a fucking PREDATOR!!! AN ANIMAL ON THE HUNT!!! While unhealthy stress makes you feels like you're the prey, the one who's being chased by an unknown force that's out to get you!!

I feel like I'm kinda rambling... anyways!!! ENOUGH WITH THE INSPIRATIONAL BULLSHIT!!! THANK YOU ALL!!!!!! 99% of you have been awesome and incredible!!!

It's also been an honor to get to know so many people who feel the same way as I do about a certain squid lady and her best friends.... before I went onto tumblr I genuinely felt so alone and so insane. I felt isolated, I felt like no one saw these characters the way that I do... I thought my perspective of a certain squid lady and her rebel phase was invalided and false... But now I know that I have people who have my back and understand what I'm trying to express...

One final time, thank you. I'll keep going.

STAY FRESH!!!!!!!!!!

[mysewingadventures]

Making the ✨Lioncourt Gown✨ (Part 1/4)

Shoot, it's been like two years since I last posted, apologies! I’ve been incredibly busy with uni and life in general, taking care of my mental health, it’s just been a very stressful time lately. I haven't really worked on anything worthy of posting in the meantime, only minor things and one dress I rushed and it didn't turn out well anyway. But, since Halloween is coming up and I don’t feel like wearing the same thing for the third time in a row, I thought it was the perfect excuse to try and make something new and the other day at 2am I fell down a rabbit hole and came up with an idea I’m completely obsessed with.

So recently, (in case you couldn't tell by the title haha) I’ve been really into Interview with the Vampire (the TV show), and there’s this one costume that’s so iconic it immediately caught my attention: This Lestat outfit.

I feel like since this blog isn't fandom related I need to explain myself to those of you who are just semi-familiar with IWTV. Maybe you know Lestat as essentially the villain of the story and are wondering why on earth I'd want to make an outfit inspired by him. The answer is quite simple and not actually deep at all: I just thought it'd be a fun project. I'm very well aware of his personality and would not want to be in the same room as him in real life haha. But he's such an interesting character to watch on screen (they all are, in my opinion). Anyways-

This outfit is from a scene that takes place in the 1790s and now, I’m unfortunately not too versed in men’s fashion so I can’t quite comment on its historical accuracy (and also it’s worn in the context of a theater performance so it’s bound to be more flashy than what people would have worn on the streets), but the way the lapel is shaped just screams redingote to me, and since I've always wanted to make a redingote I'm going to make a redingote version of the costume!

For reference, here's what a c. 1790 redingote looks like:

This one has a normal button closure but redingotes were also often double-breasted (which is what I'm going for), taking inspiration from men's fashion. These were often worn to ride in - hence the name, redingote - riding coat.

Maybe this is the point where I should mention that I'm not going for perfect historical accuracy for this project. It really is just a fun project to try to approximate something as seen on a show to an actual historical piece of clothing.

Here’s a super quick sketch I drew to check if the colors looked good together, and I have to say, I’m sold 1000%.

I am so excited to wear this when it’s done, but also a bit anxious because for starters, I’ve never made a redingote before, and the dresses that I have made all have issues with the sleeves because apparently, I can’t sew sleeves correctly. So this time, I really want to make sure it all fits properly before I sew it and take my time with it to make sure it ends up being something that I love as much as I love the idea of it.

This time, I tried something a little different with my mockup - usually, I’ll draft a pattern on paper, then cut out my mockup and sew it, but this time I decided to make the mockup by draping the fabric directly on the mannequin that I dressed in my stays and a bumroll, making sure I had the correct measurments, and it was a complete gamechanger. It fit right away with minimal adjustments, and I was also immediately able to check how the fabric falls, if it needed to be on the bias or not, etc. I ended up doing everything on straight grain which is technically not 100% correct as the front piece needs to be on a slight bias but it seems to work for this piece so let’s hope the fabric doesn’t wrinkle! I’ll also be adding boning so I’m hoping that’ll additionally keep it all straight and even in the front.

Once the mockup was completed, I went on the search for the right fabrics and got these (the skirt fabric, the buttons and the tape I ordered online and they've yet to arrive!):

The black base fabric and the blue one are cotton, as will be the skirt. The details are satin! I spent a long time at the fabric store trying to think of the best way to do this and it does look like the details on Lestat's outfit are maybe velvet, but I was afraid it would look a little too costume-y and cheap, so I ended up going with satin in the end.

I pinned the fabric mock-up onto the lining fabric (just a white Ikea bedsheet), added 1,5cm seam allowances where needed cut out the lining first, then placed the lining onto the black base fabric and cut that out as well.

I needed to lay the pieces down this way because I bought 2,5 meters, and I'll need 2m for the outer skirt alone so there's not a lot of space left, as I'll also have to cut out the sleeves from that fabric. I then sewed everything together.

And then I noticed I'd made a mistake - the lining for the front panel was supposed to be blue. Welp, now it's white, and I also realized I didn't have enough blue fabric to do the collar AND the lining, so I went for a fake lining for which I cut out two blue triangles to be slightly bigger than the lapel

and stitched them to the lining layer so the seams wouldn't be visible on the black outer layer. This was the result:

Pretty happy with it! Next up, even though I don't have the beige tape yet, I decided to cut out the color panels in the front and already pin them down. After some trial and error, I decided to go for 15x4,5cm triangles and calculated the size needed for the shorter ones (9x7,5cm), cut them out of the satin (which, let me tell you, was so finicky it ended up being the most difficult part of it all) laid them down and fastened with pins.

This is what I have so far:

Looking at it in the picture, I'm worried that the color panels take up too much space in the front. It looks like that in the original picture, but in my sketch I made everything a little narrower. But I was also scared of pulling on it too much because the panels are just pinned to the fabric. Some parts are sticking out over the black base layer which maybe also makes it look wider than it really is, I'll cut it to shape once I have the tape and have a better visual understanding of what it's going to look like.

Next up will be the collar/yoke and the dreaded sleeves and possibly the boning. I should do the boning before I attach the beige tape. I am realizing as I’m writing this that I should’ve done the boning before pinning down the colored panels as they’re supposed to cover it. Oh well. It’s fine. Either way, I think it already looks super cool and I can't wait to see the finished product!

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4|

[ateez-himari]

hi bb!!!!!!!!!!! I missed you so so so so much you don't even know😭😭 I know you missed me and my annoying questions hehehe(jk you're too cool to miss me)before I ask any questions........I hope you've been resting well,and that you're staying hydrated and eating well(I feel like an Asian mom when I say that) and how have you been lately?and good things happening and did your tattoo fully heal(I don't know anything about tattoos so please spare me😔😔) okay too much emotion now to the actual questions cause I haven't asked you any in like 3 weeks or something

1-ehm ehm(clears throat since I haven't talked in a long time) this is a question I've been meaning to ask for a long time and that is was your first love interest for hima gonna be any other idol than the ones she's dated,like was it going to be someone entirely different or were you always set on these choices?

2- are there any actors who have a crush on hima?like they don't have to say it publicly or something but maybe they've hinted at it? Maybe one of her costars has🫣🫣🫣

3- has hima acted in any dramas this year? And if so did she attend interviews and stuff like that?

4-Was hima invited to the gala🫣🫣if she was I know she'd eat it uppp. And maybe we can get some scoups and Mimi crumbs(as well as Jennie and Mimi)

5-last question I promise😭😭has hima tried to do those silly TikTok trends with mingi?like the ribbon one and those theories and stuff.

I love you so much bb!!!take care of yourself for me💓💓😽

OMG MY SWEET YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW EXCITED I WAS TO SEE THAT LITTLE BLUE '1' NEXT TO MY INBOX 😭 (Ermh excuse me I will NEVER be too cool for you, although I'm VERY VERY cool). I've been very well! Uni ended a bit ago so now I'm just resting and reading up on some upper year textbooks to get ahead. Unfortunately though my left wrist is wrapped up because I fcked it up during work and now it hurts badly 🥲 I'm eating very well! Drinking too! Resting is debatable because I've struggled with sleep lately (I usually do every few months dw). My tattoo actually healed a long time ago but I forget that I have it...I'll turn around before or after a shower, see it in the mirror and it almost scares the crap out of me sometimes. I'M SO EXCITEDDDDDD YOU ALWAYS ASK THE BEST QUESTIONS, TO THE ANSWERS 🩷.🩷

• There was actually so much back and forth when it came to our baby's love interests and while dating Mingyu was always planned in some way, ending up with Mingi was kind of a last minute decision when I launched the blog. Seeing as Hima had barely any friends from school and was not yet social enough to go meet people on her own, at least one of the '97 liners was a logical choice since Jungkook would have had her around them quite often, but I didn't think of her dating Eunwoo at first. So many idols went through my mind like Oneus' Leedo, The Boyz' Eric or Juyeon and even Seventeen's Dino, but eventually Eunwoo made more sense to me (also seeing him in Island was my last straw-). Jungkook crossed my mind for a second but I decided that they were much better off as best friends. In Ateez though Yunho and San were huge contenders before I settled on Mingi

• Hima is somewhat young compared to most people in the acting industry but an actor's hinted at not only meeting with her frequently for work but also having some kind of crush on her [drumroll] Byeon Woo Seok! Yunho MAY have gotten some butterflies in his stomach when the two of them had to film their kissing scene in Where We Fall...but he quickly reminded himself that she's his best friend's girlfriend. Lee Do Hyun stared slightly too long every time they had a scene together, but in truth it was just shocking to see her in person. Hima has a lot of feline features, cat-like eyes, little fangs, even her mouth shape is similar to a cat's (and of course those tiger scars) which don't always make themselves obvious on screens

• SO the only dramas Hima has acted in so far are Hellbound (2021) & Where We Fall (2023), but there's a project that has been in the works for some time involving T.O.P and her as the main -enemies - characters 🫣 (I've written the storyline several times so that it wouldn't fall into the whole cringy mafia plotline hole and am still in the process of reworking that, but I CAN tell you that at some point she gets choked so-). The titles I have in the works so far are 'Bleed For Me' and 'Won't You Die' but they'll very likely change to something more nuanced

• The way reading this question actually shocked me because I was in the middle of brainstorming something for the met gala article I'm writing...ANYWAY aside from your somehow fortune telling brain, Himari is Donatella's baby, her precious tiger cub, the light of her career, her Princess, there was absolutely no way this woman was going to let the Met Gala pass by without her on the carpet. I'm still thinking up some interactions (deciding to send her to the Met was a very last minute decision so I don't have much prepared yet) but I can tell you that even our naturally anxious Mingi feels more relaxed knowing that S.Coups is going to be with her.

Mingi knows they slept together a few times but he doesn't really care because not only does he trust his girlfriend, but he's come around to trusting S.Coups too. The older idol's also been very protective of Hima since the beginning and it's become a habit of his to place his hand on her lower back in case he needs to avoid someone with bad intentions or just to lead her in the right direction - she gets lost easily. The Met is going to be very stimulating noise-wise, so S.Coups is going to play a huge role in anchoring the maknae, which is why they were arranged to arrive in the same car despite being from different groups and brands. S.Coups knew this and prepared well in order to support her fully ; he learned more sign language, learned to work her hearing aid just in case, watched a lot of fan made videos breaking down her body language in noisy environments and even met with Mingi many times to learn how to care for her in these situations. Himari didn't know about this because she'd feel like she was burdening the leader in such an incredible moment, so everyone kept it a secret from her. The last thing I can tell you for their interactions (for now) is that it's the only time that Mingi has agreed to someone holding his girlfriend's hand for so long, because both men figured that not only would it be safer for her, but it would also help her focus on something other than the constant pressure in her non-hearing ear

• Hima has been working a lot this year ; producing for other idols, touring, releasing 'Sungyo' and 'Veil of Tears' with Sleep Token, doing university work along with other side projects so she hasn't really been keeping up with trends. Our mochi couple has also been staying offline lately because they want to spend as much time as possible away from public eyes to finally get a break and be as normal as they can be. Her kids however (BOYNEXTDOOR and Xikers) have been dragging their senior through at least half of their tiktoks because they're not sure when they'll get to spend time with her again, so they want to make the most of it. It's mostly dance challenges but Xikers have managed to make her do the ribbon trend (she in fact did not break it but they still posted it....) and BND dragged her into the 'I make the face, you make the sound'

......

UPDATE ON THE MET GALA ; As I'm writing this I was checking Twitter every few seconds and S.COUPS OH MY GOD FKEWKFJWE SCRUMPTIOUS. SEXINESS OF THE 30S INDEED (he's the second member of my bias line in case it wasn't already obvious...) I NEED ME AN OLDER MAN. HE'S GIVING OFF YAKUZA BOSS VIBES, LIKE...THE WISE, CALM, EXPERIENCED LEADER YOU KNOW?? I CAN'T OMG SOMEONE SEDATE ME. Anyway so in terms of interactions though here's what I can give you real time (ish) ;

Instead of getting into the car right away like the other celebrities he waited near the open door and watched Hima step out and take pictures (right after him). Like the absolute gentleman of a DIL - the voices, sorry - diligent leader that he is, he helped her get into the car and even stepped behind her to cover her back just in case. In the car he put his jacket over her to make sure she was warm

I love you so much more my sweet!!! 🥰🩷 I hope you've been doing well these days and that you're taking very good care of yourself! MWWWAAHHH 😘

[fictional-magic]

by the glue,

coquette!singer!reader x actor!sirius black

summary: after a long parting, he's finally stuck to you after a year.

you stand on the stage, adrenaline rushing, but not too much because it's habitual to you now. you're still happy about how many people stand and singalong to your feelings poured out as songs. you decided to wear a long white skirt with mid-ruffles, and a bubblegum pink top which had the name of your latest album (the one you will be singing in a few minutes) with bold dark pink letters. you have satin pink ribbons braided in your hair, tied like small bows near the ends of your hair.

your mic goes on and you start talking first, the princess-y smile comes naturally with your playful conversations with the fans. the first track is a sweet one, with light flirting and about being attached to someone like glue in love. you sit on the edge of the stage for this one, dangling your legs and occasionally pointing your mic at the fans who probably know the lyrics better than you.

don't forget to kiss me, or else you'll have to miss me i guess i'm stuck forever by the glue, aren't you?'

words flow out like sweetness from you, pouring until you're painted in smiles and rainbows. as you sing, you remember him. the one you wrote this song about. you both were practically inseparable in uni, and the high school sweethearts too. it feels wrong to reminisce like you're 50 when it's really only been two years since college, but it feels like a really long time since then. it's not a good feeling to have to be mature and all grown up suddenly. and he helped you through that transition.

you remember and miss a very very handsome, beautiful, cute, and every-word-under-that-umbrella man. you haven't met him since a year, and it's neither of your fault. he's busy, and you're busy. you text almost 3 times a week, and call each other on the weekends, but seeing his face and being able to touch and feel him was a long-lost dream of yours.

if he were here, maybe your smile would be more realistic and happier, maybe your days would be brighter, and nights more sleep-providing. but he's not, so you toss and turn in your bed, and panic the next morning about what to wear.

he's almost never done with his shootings, and your recording sessions seem endless to the both of you. when he's doing interviews, you're at home. when you're doing concerts, he's at home. it's exhausting and almost impossible to find timings where the both of you are unoccupied.

no, silly, focus on singing!

you come back to the matearilistic worls and start genuinely thinking about the soft notes you hit while you're humming. your earpiece tickles your ear a bit just then, while you're walking on the stage like frolicking through a huge field with daisies and peonies around. your manager's voice pops in through the small device, "black's here. he's standing backstage!" and even your manager sounds excited to know you won't be so sad anymore. the song ends with a last hum, and with an apologetic voice, you murmur into the mic,

"i'm so sorry everyone, i have to leave for just a moment, i'll be back in a few minutes, i promise!" and you do manage to hear a few groans and chants of your name while you run backstage after keeping the mic on a random stand.

you shout, "sirius? are you here?" you're still quite unsure if you're manager's saying the truth. she has been known to play a few mean pranks every now and then. "sirius?" you say again, hope laced around your voice.

"hi!" he whispers as he warps his arms around you from behind in the dark, dimly lit backstage. you can still figure out from his clothes' feel, that he's wearing something leather.

"sirius!" your voice hold a giddyness, and you smile bright enough to light up the entire place for sirius. you hug him tightly as tears run down your face, happy or sad you aren't sure.

"missed you so much siri, you have no idea."

"hey, you should really go back onstage." he says, with a light kiss on your forehead.

"we'll catch up after a while yeah? fuck, wanted to see you so bad, doll." he kisses you on the lips now, and you wrap your hands around his neck instinctively as he reaches for your waist. it feels oh so wonderful to explore the lips and mouth of the man you've been thinking about for a whole year. and, just like that, you're stuck together lke glue again, rest of the world be damned.

[lisbeth-kk]

May Prompts (25) Intuition

The Luckiest Girl in the World (chapter 25)

Summary: Rosie's protective foursome are visiting her in Paris, Mycroft shows off his poshness, and they all meet Timothy and his parents at a well-chosen location.

Twenty-Five Years Old

The years in Paris went by too fast, and suddenly I had turned twenty-five and was graduating from uni. Sadly, both mine and Timothy’s graduation ceremonies were on the same evening, but we all had plans to meet the next day. I’ll admit that I had mixed emotions about that. My parents and uncles were to meet Timothy and his parents, and I couldn’t help thinking of all the different directions that meeting could go.

“It’ll be fine, love,” Timothy assured me. “Mum and Dad are over the moon to meet your celeb family, and I’m sure The Fab Four will behave for a few hours.”

“Ha! My intuition tells me otherwise. I wouldn’t put it past Papa to give some snarky remarks if he’s annoyed with your mother’s lipstick or your dad’s shoelaces,” I sighed.

“You know John won’t allow that, Ro,” Timothy laughed. “And your uncles are less inclined to cause any damage, I think. Relax.”

***

I had only met the Browns once before. Marie was a secondary school teacher, loved the royal family passionately, royals in general actually, and she was also a decent tennis player. Daniel was a business solicitor, loved his singing, and was quite a wine connoisseur.

“They’re both perfect conversation partners for Mycroft,” Papa informed me after I’d met them. He can share gossip from the palace with her and show off his wine cellar to Brown senior.”

Dad tried to shush him, but his efforts were nonsensical, and I was inclined to agree. 

***

Whenever uncle Myc visited Paris, he stayed at the Four Seasons Hotel George V, and for my graduation dinner, we ate at one of the hotel’s restaurants, Le Cinq. His Poshness, as Papa called him, moved through the restaurant after the maître d’ like he owned the place. Uncle’s three-piece suit had never been more appropriate. The rest of us were dressed up as well. Papa even wore a tie, which I hadn’t seen on him since my uncles’ wedding. 

The food was arranged like tiny artworks, and I felt like a vandal ruining them with the cutlery. Once the first bite reached my taste buds however, all regrets were forgotten. Each dish surpassed the other visually, and with different textures and surprising combinations of flavours. Every wine was perfectly matched with the food, and even uncle Greg, who was more of a beer lover, admitted that it was quite good, which earned him an exasperated sigh from his husband.

“How’s the job search going?” Dad asked after the third course was devoured.

“I’m expecting a few answers over the next weeks. Hopefully, something turns up,” I said.

I actually had high hopes, having already been summoned to an interview when I was returning to London the following week. Papa gave me a thoughtful look and shifted his gaze towards his brother who lifted an eyebrow just the tiniest bit, which made me sigh and swallow my remark with some excellent chardonnay.

***

To Marie’s delight, we were meeting at Versailles the next day. Neither of us wanted to take the guided tour but preferred to walk in the gigantic garden. 

“Much easier to escape if the conversation gets tedious,” Papa teased.

“Brother mine,” uncle Myc warned, more out of habit than an actual rebuke.

We had agreed to meet on the balustrade where it would be easier to spot each other. I could see that Marie was fidgety and excited, while Daniel seemed quite composed.

“Better at hiding it,” Dad remarked, which earned him an incredulous look from me and a fond chuckle from Papa.

“Is this mind reading business contagious?” I sighed and walked towards Timothy and his parents.

***

“The Fab Four are behaving,” Timothy stated. “A bit disappointing really.”

“Try refreshing,” I retorted dryly.

“Do you think Sherlock would mind if I asked him to deduce some of the people here?” Marie asked in a hushed voice, which Papa had no problem hearing.

“I don’t mind at all, Marie,” Papa interrupted with a bow. “Anyone in particular?”

And with that, Marie and Papa stuck their heads together to conspire. Daniel and Timothy looked amused, while the rest of us rolled our eyes, though I must admit it was the perfect ice breaker, and I was relieved that my intuition about Papa’s behaviour had been wrong.

Also available on AO3

@calaisreno @totallysilvergirl @keirgreeneyes @helloliriels @raina-at

More tags in the replies

[mrghostrat]

i appreciate all the kindness for my uni rejection, and anyone going through the same thing should def read through my replies if they need similar comfort. there’s a lot of “ATAR isn’t everything!” comments tho, which made me realise i haven’t actually talked much about my goals, so i wanted to share a little context.

i’m 30 (on the 17th). i took a gap year after high school and i went to uni at 19. i even dropped out a semester before graduating to pursue the one thing that was making me happy (my first original comic) during a really bad depression (undiagnosed adhd burnout). i got the last units and graduated a year later, a bachelor of game design.

haven’t used my degree once. i went into comics and freelance rather than games. but i also loved that degree and would do it all again, it was absolutely worth it.

i’ve been freelance and self sufficient for 6-7 years, and it’s fun and i’m proud of the things i’ve made, but i’m so tired. i’m specifically tired of having to work 7 different angles to make up one sufficient salary, and even if it ends up being temporary, i’d give anything for a 9-5. have someone else in charge for once.

got to the end of my rope last year and sat down to figure out what i like and what i’m good at. a Life Plan, yknow. i’ve always had an interest in teaching, helping, connecting like that. figured out degrees and became really invested in this new trajectory i pictured my life going on. i was also tired of waiting, because every time i wanted to move back to the city from this tiny town we’re in, somethings come up or delayed it. so zita helped me figure out how we could get the ball rolling and break our lease 3 months early, so we could move back to melbourne and i could start my degree this year. we looked for (and found) an apartment specifically on the side of the city that would be closest to my campus.

i hope that gives a lil context as to why i’m so devastated right now. the last 5 months have been me revving up to start this new chapter at the end of feb and one little email said nah.

the degree i wanted to do was a double degree, secondary education (hons) and a BA of fine arts. i was equally excited for both, because i never got to do a lot of actual art learning in my last degree, and the BA would give me all of that— life drawing, sculpting, painting, wood/metal/jewellery working, digital, fuckin everything. but it was the less important of the pair, when it comes to getting myself a job as an art teacher, because i already have the art experience. it was just a fun bonus, and the education degree was the one i NEEDED.

in nov i had to travel to melbourne to present a portfolio and interview for the BA. they showed me around the studio too, and i fell a little bit in love. i got the acceptance email in december, but i still didn’t have an offer for the education degree. another reason why i’m so discombobulated— i technically have an invitation, but it’s for the less important degree that would just be a money sink. do i go to uni anyway?? or just ignore this invitation and move on?

my state recently made education/teaching degrees free as a way of encouraging more teacher jobs. i learnt about this after i decided i wanted to pursue teaching, so it was just a fun lil bonus that i wouldn’t be adding to my student debt. apparently not, bc i didn’t think about how every teenager and their dog would apply for teaching degrees so they could get straight into uni without any debt. so, even tho i’m a graduate and i’m not relying on school scores, i was one in a million, likely just numbers on a page, and didn’t get in.

there could be other paths. i could start the BA and add the Edu degree later? i could reapply for mid year intake. i could… idk, most of what i could do requires emailing Monash and asking wtf, because i have no idea what’s actually possible and will need someone to lay it out for me.

still feels like i’ve run into a brick wall though. little bit shut down. more sad, not quite angry, but suddenly really spiteful for some reason— like “oh, you don’t want me? okay fuck you then, i won’t ever teach.” so stupid. just a bit fragile rn

[catzz089]

absolutely fumbled my uni interview today so the new chapter was very much needed thank you <3

the way my brain was trying to figure out whether or not it was Charles sending people to follow max only to reveal ITS THE GANGS...max my dear please bring a pipe everywhere you go, or two pipes even ALL THE PIPES!

ngl I was FULLY expecting Max to like faint during a shift, glad to see he's made it out alive (so far) and not him passing off literal threats to his life like it's nothing 😭😭

loving the progression of max and charles' relationship BUT OFC IT HAD TO BE TEMPORARILY STOPPED BY GANGS STALKING MAX LEAVE HIM ALONNEEEEEE 😭😭 knowing you, max will for sure get his shit rocked

Carlos...the big bro figure that max never knew he needed...him fully willing to throw hands against anyone ranging from charles to gangs! everyone needs a carlos in their lives shjjdhdhdhfh

honestly I don't have many thoughts about the informant yet...my brain can't really wrap my head around it but I'm supprrrrrrr excited for it!!!!

Aww, I doubt you actually fumbled, and even if you did there are a thousand unis, you’ll find one

Well technically it was ALSO Charles, we just had a lot of other people joining in

Max knows if he faints so soon after being off work Charles will take him STRAIGHT back home. Which actually isn’t all that bad of an idea…

Stopped? What’s a little stalking between a relationship? It can still continue, someone just happens to be in danger!

When has Max ever gotten his shit rocked in any of my fics…

Charles hired Carlos thinking he’d be his biggest support, yet all it took was a hidden conversation and suddenly Carlos is squaring up against him. He can’t even be mad either, more protection for Max

The informant is exciting ME and I know who it js

[skzhocomments]

Dear Diary, - Kim Seungmin Fanfic - Chapter 6

General Masterlist

Story masterlist - please consult it for the summary of the story, trigger warnings etc.

Wattpad | AO3

Chapter 5 | Chapter 7

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Chapter 6

Chapter word count: ~4.1k words

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27th of December Dear Diary, I’ve been so excited to write and tell you how my life’s been lately! It’s been nothing short of chaotic, really, but also so much fun! So, first of all, Changbin and I will hit the 3rd month mark tomorrow! Can you believe that?? Ughhh, he’s so adorably sweet. Please tell me we married him in the future! Okay, moving on before I get too delusional! There’s so much stuff I still want to say. Do you remember that we joined the photography club? Yeah, well, guess what your girlie got for Christmas from her parents! YES! A FREAKING CAMERA!!! I’m so fucking excited, you have no idea. Although Seungmin hasn’t said anything so far about giving him back his camera, I don’t want to push it. I promised him I’m gonna buy one as soon as possible and give his back, so that’s what I’ll do the moment I go back to Uni. Which reminds me… I’m screwed. I go back after New Years’, and then not even one week later, we’re gonna start our exams. I have 6 of them and am woefully unprepared. Shit, what if I fail? I’m really stressed. And I also need to get a job. Even though my parents send me money every month, it’s barely enough, and I feel really bad about having to ask them for more to buy a new book or whatever. I saw that a café close to Uni is hiring students to work part-time and I called them up last week, and my interview is the day after I return. I’m really excited to start, but also anxious. Anyways, I gotta go help in the bakery, so I’ll come write more later. Bye~ Phoebe

“You got a job?!” Yuna gasps when she sees me take out my new work shirt.

“Yes! At that new café around the corner! Come see me and I’ll treat you to something.”

“That sounds like so much fun! Wow, should I get hired too? We should work together!”

“You’re sweet.” I laugh at her intensity. She can be quite the character, and although I don’t actually know much about her family’s situation, it’s clear that she has a lot of money to spare, so she doesn’t technically need a job.

Still, getting a job just for the fun of it is exactly the type of thing Yuna would do. Just as the reason why she came to this university and decided to live in the dorms – she wanted to go through the experience of being a student.

“Are you gonna make cute drinks and latte art?”

“I think so! I have training this week, and I assume it’s to learn how to use their equipment and stuff.”

“Man, I should really get a job.” She contemplates as she places her hands between her palms.

“Hey, posture, remember? Sit straight.”

“Ugh, you’re just like Jeongin!” She complains and falls on the bed, hiding her face between her pillows.

“He asked me to take care of you when he’s not here, so what am I supposed to do, Yuyu?”

“But Bibi, I’m an adult too!”

“So what?” I chuckle. “Even adults need someone else to take care of them. Nothing wrong with that.”

“Yeah… I guess you’re right.” She sighs. “Who’s taking care of you, though?”

“Of me?”

“Yeah. Is Changbin treating you nicely?”

“Oh, yeah, he is.” I reply, my voice faltering slightly towards the end. This goes unnoticed by Yuna, and I don’t ponder on it too much either. I can’t understand why I’m hesitating either.

Changbin is great. He’s treating me right… so why do I feel so… uneasy?

“Really?” She sits up again, a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Tell me all the spicy details, girl!”

“What details?” I chuckle, embarrassed.

“Is he big?”

“Yuna!”

“What?! I’m curious!”

“You shouldn’t be curious about your boyfriend’s friends’ dick sizes!”

“Why not? It’s only natural to want to know!” She whisper-shouts.

“I think it’s anything but natural to want to know. For instance, I’m not really interested in Jeongin’s dick size.” I point out with a laugh.

“Well, maybe not… what about Seungmin? Don’t you think he’s packing?”

“What?” I ask, baffled. “How did we even get to this conversation?”

“I’m just saying! It’s normal to be curious, it’s not like you’d cheat on your boyfriend or anything like that, but you can’t seriously tell me they aren’t talking about our boob sizes or stuff like that! You know, boy talk!”

“Yuna, that’s disgusting. I don’t want to think about anyone talking about my boob size. Is that really a thing?”

“I’m pretty sure it is.” She nods, her gaze grave.

“Damn, they are?” I sit down next to her, grimace on my face. “My boobs are not that big, though.”

“Yeah. Mine neither. What should we do, Bibi? Should we get boob jobs together? That way we’d have cute matching boobs.”

“You’re fucking crazy.” I stand up, shaking my head and bursting out laughing.

She follows soon after.

“Yeah, right. As if we’d ever change anything about ourselves for a man.” She smiles and throws herself against me, pulling me back on the bed as we continue laughing harder. “However, if you do want to get a boob job for yourself, I’d support you. Although I think your tits are pretty the way they are.”

“This is really weird.” I conclude and we eventually stop laughing.

“Bibi, you’re the best friend ever. I really like talking to you. Can’t you skip work and spend some time with me?”

“No, Yuyu. I haven’t even started, and if I don’t leave in the next 5 minutes, I’ll probably not have any job to get back to. I also enjoy spending time with you, though.” I smile apologetically and pat her head.

“Do you wanna hang out after work? I’m meeting Jeongin for a movie later tonight at his place.”

“I don’t wanna intrude in your alone time.”

“You won’t! I’ll tell him to invite more of his friends and we can do a big get-together! You can also ask Changbin to come.”

“Hmm. You sure?”

“Yes, silly! I’m sure!”

“Okay, that sounds fun enough.” I smile and stand up for real this time, putting on my shoes and grabbing my backpack to leave.

~

My training lasts for 4 hours, and when I’m done, I open my messages to check if Changbin texted me back.

I am bummed out to see that he promised some friends he’d go with them to the gym to help them train, and can’t cancel last minute, so I send him back a sad emoji and call Yuna, who picks up after one ring.

“Bibi! You done?”

“Yeah, just finished.”

“How was it? You have to tell me everything!”

“I’ve learned how to make a heart in coffee.” I chuckle at Yuna’s excitement.

“Really?! You gotta show me!”

“It doesn’t look that good yet.”

“Who cares?! It’s still cool as fuck!”

“Okay. I’ll show you. Now, where do I need to come?”

“Oh, right! I’ll send you the address. Let me quickly call Seungmin, he’s not here yet either and maybe he can come pick you up!”

“No need! I don’t want to disturb him. Just send me the address and I’m gonna get there soon.”

“Bibi, we’re friends, you’re not disturbing anyone. Now hold~” She speaks quickly, and not even one second later there’s elevator music on the other line.

It takes Yuna 2 full minutes to reconnect our call.

“Mission accomplished! Seungmin will be there in 5!”

“Okay.” I chuckle again. “See you soon!”

“Love youuu~”

I end the call and put the phone back in my bag, looking fondly at my uniform. The day’s been fun already, and I’m really glad that I’ll get to spend some time with my friends.

Things are really looking up.

Seungmin pulls up next to me in less than 5 minutes, and I open the car’s door cheerfully.

“Hey!” I smile brightly as I enter the car, but he just nods.

His demeanour is… glum, and the silence in the car is deafening.

“How was your day?” I ask, trying to start up a conversation and smile, but Seungmin doesn’t even look at me.

“Good.”

“That’s great. What did you do?”

“Not much.”

“Really? That’s unusual, you’re usually so busy!” I try to keep it going, but he’s making it near impossible.

“Mhm.”

“So… who did Yuna invite?”

“I don’t know, Phoebe. Can’t you be patient until we get there and see for yourself?” He looks at me for the first time, and his tone is slightly exasperated.

“Sorry.” I turn away and look out the window, feeling my chest get a bit heavy.

Seungmin and I don’t say anything for the rest of the ride, and the 15 minutes until Jeongin’s apartment are spent in an uncomfortable, tense silence.

~

The apartment is spacious and modernly furnished, the natural colour palette making the place appear elegant and rich. The hallway is large, and there’s multiple closed doors I can see from the front door.

To the right is the living room that leads up to the rest of the house; it’s large, in natural colours, and has a big sofa in the middle right in front of a cinema-like TV.

“Bibi!” Yuna exclaims and jumps on me as soon as I enter the apartment. “I missed you sooo much!”

“You’ve seen me 6 hours ago.” I remind her while taking off my shoes.

“Come fast, you gotta show me everything you’ve learned at work today!”

“Now?” I laugh. “How?”

“I’m sure Jeongin has a coffee machine in his kitchen.” She grins and drags me after her to the kitchen, which might be just as large as the living room. I try to contain my surprise and simply follow Yuna, who leads me towards a brand-new coffee machine, even bigger than the one we have at work.

And we are a coffee shop.

“See? I told you there’d be one. Now, how does it work?” Yuna point towards the machine and waits for me to figure it out, and thankfully, the buttons on this one are similar enough to the ones on the machine from my place of work, and I manage to get it going.

A few minutes later, Yuna hands me fresh milk that I pour into a cup before I steam it, and I try my hardest to make coffee art.

“That heart looks like a butt.” Hyunjin, one of Jeongin’s friends that has been closely observing me and Yuna, remarks, and I throw him a nasty glance. He quickly backs off with a laugh, then asks everyone else to come in the kitchen and guess what they’re looking at.

“That’s certainly a heart, come on, Hyunjin, don’t be mean.” Chan pats Hyunjin’s back a few times to scold him.

“Well,” Jeongin grimaces, “I’m not so sure… if you turn it like this,” he starts, turning the cup around, “it’s definitely a-”

“Peach.” Lee Know, another of their friends, says with resolve.

“Come on, guys!” I whine. “This is unfair. It’s a heart! It looks like heart, right? Right???”

I look around to everyone in the kitchen, but Seungmin is nowhere to be seen. My heart drops a second time, and I get the feeling that something is deeply wrong with him to act so distant.

After our debate is over and Yuna tries my coffee that she fortunately likes, we all head back to the living room with multiple snacks and drinks in our hands, preparing for the movie.

“Whose turn is it this time?” Chan picks up the remote and browses through films.

“Mine!” Yuna exclaims happily and raises a hand.

“Noooo. She’s gonna pick romance again.” Lee Know whines, and Yuna rolls her eyes.

“Maybe we should let Phoebe pick since it’s the first time she joins us.” Jeongin suggests, before Yuna tuts at him and crosses her arms in front of her chest.

“Nah, don’t worry about me. I’m happy with whatever you guys decide. Yuna should pick.”

“See, Jeongin? That’s how you should act.” She rolls her eyes again, ignoring her boyfriend’s apologetic glances as she snatches the remote from Chan’s hands and settles in the centre of the sofa.

Chan makes enough space for Jeongin, who quickly plops down next to her and puts his arm around her shoulders. Hyunjin goes to sit next to Chan, seemingly running away as far as possible from Lee Know, who’s already sat down at the other end of the sofa, to Seungmin’s left.

The only place for me to squeeze into is either to Lee Know’s side, or between Yuna and Seungmin, although there isn’t much space on the sofa. Still, Yuna pats down the spot next to her and I finally decide to sit down as well, and she clicks on a movie.

Lee Know was right; it’s romance.

~

I don’t know what I was expecting out of this movie night, but it was certainly not how vocal everyone is. They talk over the film a lot, sometimes even pausing it in order to discuss several elements of what’s going on on-screen.

The discussions are mostly unbiased and objective, but at one point during the film, while the characters are expressing their undying love for each other, Seungmin suddenly scoffs and lets out a silent “Yeah, as if.”

No one hears him but me, and my heart sinks down in my chest for the third time this day, because I now get a glimpse of what might’ve possibly happened.

I contemplate for a few seconds and look at his side profile, but nothing on his face betrays the heartbreaking words he just muttered. Still, leaving it like this, pretending like I didn’t hear and going about my night simply doesn’t sit right with me, so I cross my arms and touch him with my right hand.

I fully expect him to shake my hand away from his arm, or to move away, but he doesn’t.

He lets my hand rest on top of his arm, and my hold on him tightens.

A few minutes pass, and I feel his hand rest on top of mine. We don’t exchange any looks; we don’t say anything. Our eyes stay glued to the TV while our hands hold each other in solidarity.

I’m here for you, my hand speaks.

Thank you, his replies.

~

“I’m sooo tired! Can’t believe it’s already 12!” Yuna yawns on the sofa as the rest of the guys pick up the empty cans and bags of popcorn.

“Yeah, do you guys wanna stay over?” Jeongin asks, still plopped down next to Yuna.

“Nah, I’m good. I live close anyway.” Chan smiles politely.

The other people also refuse the offer, so I pull my phone out and open an app to call a taxi. No buses run at this hour anymore, so I have no other choice unless I want to walk 40 minutes through the dark.

“Seungmin, are you going to the dorms? Will you drop Bibi off?” Yuna asks brightly, unaware of the inner turmoil in Seungmin’s soul. He looks at her for a few seconds without saying anything, and I start feeling weird.

What if he wants to go somewhere else and not the dorms? I don’t want to disturb him.

I see Seungmin open his mouth to reply, and I immediately cut him off, knowing he’d refuse anyway.

“No, no, it’s fine!” I say quickly, waving my hands around. “I’ll just take a taxi. No worries.”

“It’s okay.” Seungmin nods. “I’m going to the dorms anyway. It’s the same building. Let’s go.”

He doesn’t wait for me to reply, going directly to the front door to put his shoes on, so I follow him unsure, like a lost puppy.

“Are you sure?” I whisper when I’m next to him, and instead of replying, he grabs my shoes and places them in front of me.

I get the hint, so I bend down to put them on, tying messy bows that surely aren’t going to hold on each one.

We thank Jeongin for having us and say goodbye to everyone else, then make our way to Seungmin’s car outside, and just as when we came here, neither of us says anything.

The drive to the dorms takes a bit longer than during the day, despite the empty streets, and soft tunes are playing from Seungmin’s phone connected to the Bluetooth.

Once we reach the dorms, we get out of the car and walk together towards our building, and after the first few steps, I notice that one of my shoelaces has come undone.

I don’t say anything and simply bend down to tie it, letting Seungmin go, as I’m sure I’ll catch up in just a second.

However, to my surprise, I see him bend down as well, and he grabs the shoelaces from my fingers and ties my shoes instead.

“There’s no need-”

“You’re tying them wrong, that’s why they’re getting undone.”

“I’m not tying them wrong!” I protest, crossing my arms in front of my chest, which unbalances me, and I fall on my bum.

“Be careful.” Seungmin chuckles and helps me stand back up, and I immediately burst into a fit of laughter.

“This is so embarrassing.” I mutter under my breath and clean off my clothes of any dust on the ground. “Thanks.”

We resume walking and get in the building, and Seungmin comes with me to my door.

We smile at each other briefly as I start rummaging through my pockets for the keys, but the heaviness in my heart is ever-present. I feel like I shouldn’t leave Seungmin’s side just yet.

Maybe he needs a friend to talk, someone to simply listen to him.

When you’re heartbroken, the last think you need is to be by yourself; all alone with your thoughts.

Seungmin turns around to leave and I instinctively grab his hand, making him look back at me.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I ask softly, removing my hand from his.

He just shakes his head.

“Then…” I start again, rummaging through my head for every possible excuse to give him, just so he doesn’t leave on his own. “… I took a few pictures with my new camera the other day… and I was really hoping you’d give me some feedback on them. And I also have to give you back yours.”

I look at him expectantly, and he lets out a quiet sigh.

“Phoebe, I know what you’re trying to do, but-”

“I’m not trying to do anything.” I reply with urgency. “I’m serious. It’s just a couple of photos. Promise. Come in?”

Seungmin looks at me for a few more seconds, then lets out another sigh.

“… Okay.” He agrees eventually, and I triumphally open the door and invite him inside.

I turn on a lamp with a warm light and glance around the room, and I almost face-palm myself.

“Sorry, it’s a bit of a mess.” I laugh when I see Yuna’s clothes scattered everywhere on her bed. “Let me quickly put these away.”

“It’s Yuna’s bed, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, how did you guess?”

“Only Yuna could pull off that bright pink.” He chuckles as I fold her clothes and put them away in her closet.

“Right? She’s literally Barbie.”

“She is. Both she and Jeongin are such fashion freaks, I’d never wear half of the things they do.”

“I also don’t think I’d wear such daring colours.” I hold out one of Yuna’s bright pink skirts and put it on top of my black trousers, glancing in the mirror with a focused look.

“That pink doesn’t suit you.” Seungmin remarks, and I frown slightly as I put the skirt back.

I’m not exactly sure why his words hurt me, but they sting slightly.

“The lilac you wore last time suits you very well, though.” Seungmin must’ve noticed the change in my expression, as he quickly adds this last bit, and I roll my eyes and chuckle.

“Kiss-ass.”

“Who, me?!” He scoffs, sitting down on the now-empty bed. “I’ll let it go for now, so let’s see those photos.”

“Sure, sure.” I laugh and grab my camera, giving it to him, and then sit down on a chair opposite from him.

I inspect how he treats it, how gently he touches the buttons, as if the whole thing is made of glass, and I come to appreciate him even more for the carefulness he always shows towards objects – and even towards the people he holds dear.

“These are pretty good.” He nods. “You need to improve the lightning though.”

“Yeah, I can’t figure out the right settings for it.”

With no warning, Seungmin presses the camera against his eyes, and I see him quickly press a lot of buttons.

I stare confused at him and don’t move at all, when he snaps a picture of me.

He then hands me the camera and I open the picture he snapped, and of course, the lighting in it is perfect, the warm tones and the dim light skilfully captured through the lens.

“See? Your turn.” Seungmin smirks smugly, and I do the same.

However, the settings are all wrong, since the light now comes from a different angle, and it takes me a lot longer to go through all the settings he’s previously changed in just a matter of seconds.

After a full few minutes, I snap a picture, and not only is the light completely off, but it also came out blurry, and unfocused, which immediately makes me pout.

“Let me see.” He raises his hand in the air, waiting for me to give him the camera, but I just shake my head and try again.

The second attempt is a bit better, but the lightning still doesn’t look as it should.

I shake my head again and change the setting once more, taking a third picture.

“Bee.” Seungmin says, pulling me out of my trance. “Let me see.”

“It’s all wrong, Minnie.” I complain, and for some dumb reason, I feel my eyes water up.

This is so stupid. It’s just a picture.

Maybe I’m tired, and that’s why I’m getting so emotional.

I hand him my camera and rub my eyes a little, trying to control my breathing and calm myself down.

“This last one is pretty good.” He compliments.

“You’re just saying that to be nice.”

“When have I ever said anything to be nice?” He scoffs and we both start chuckling.

“I just don’t get why I’m so bad at it.”

“You’ve started this, what, two months ago?”

“Three. And I don’t mean just photography. It’s everything. Our exams are coming up and I don’t know shit.”

“We’re gonna study together for the exams, and you’re also gonna get better at photography, Bee. I’ve been doing it for years now. Of course I’m able to change the settings a bit better. That doesn’t mean yours are bad, though. You can still change them up in Photoshop and colour correct them anyway.”

I listen to him and nod absent-mindedly.

“Okay, maybe except for the first one-”

“Minnie!” I whine, and he starts laughing at me.

I see him continuing to browse through the other pictures again, and all of a sudden, he drops a bomb on me.

“Ria and I broke up today.”

He doesn’t even raise his eyes from the camera as he says this, and the smile on his face doesn’t falter, but it looks all bitter.

“Seungmin…” I stand up and sit down next to him on the bed, rubbing his back slowly. “Why?”

“She… she left, you know?” He shuts down the camera and puts the lens protection back on, then sets it on the desk. “And each time she came back, she was a different person.”

I don’t say anything as I’m waiting for him to continue on his own.

“We were supposed to spend New Years together, but she dipped last minute, saying she’s been invited to a party by her new friends in the new city. I told her it’s fine.”

“It’s not.”

“Yeah… it wasn’t. It didn’t feel fine. But what was I supposed to do?”

“And then…?”

“And then she came back today, and she was cheerful, and happy, and she told me she doesn’t love me anymore, and we broke up.”

My heart plummets down once more, and I feel it bleed. I don’t even want to imagine how he is feeling. Despite not knowing anything about his girlfriend – or his ex, I suppose – it’s clear he loved her a lot, and that he still does.

“I just don’t get how feelings can change so quickly, you know? We were happy for years, and then all of a sudden, she wants to go away and rediscover herself away from me, and then she’s this completely different person. She left as the Ria we all knew and then came back as a stranger.”

“I’m so sorry, Seungmin.” I frown and stop rubbing his back. Instead, I engulf him in a hug and hold him tight. “I’m here for you. We all are.”

“I know… I just… it doesn’t make any sense.”

“It really doesn’t.”

“I’m sorry for dumping all of this on you.”

“Don’t even start.” I hug him tighter. “We’re friends. That’s what friends are for.”

“I suppose.”

We continue chatting for a bit more, and Seungmin’s complexion looks a bit better when we decide to call it a night and head to sleep.

My heart also feels lighter, as if all the anxiety melted away when both of us opened up about our thoughts and insecurities.

And we also planned a few studying sessions, so I can hopefully pass all my exams, even if I’m getting more unsure about my major each time I open my notebooks.

And at our next studying session, I should really give him back his camera.

~

Chapter 5 | Chapter 7

[lemonidae]

ONGOING WEBTOONS 2

Love Work Balance (지금부터 사내연애 썰푼다) by A1

Tagged: Romance, Slice of Life, Smut, Yaoi , Age Gap

Ahn Yiyoung has won big in both his career and love. Not only is the start-up company he started with his college friends thriving, but he’s also dating SJ Group's talented director, Kang Daehyung. Well, "former" director, that is. After resigning from his position, Daehyung has been doing everything to be Yiyoung's perfect trophy boyfriend at home. But it won't be long until Daehyung is back to wearing his professional suits, now as the investor and director of Yiyoung's company! How will these two keep things balanced between work life and love life? Sequel to On or Off.

Scent and Sensibility / Boundaries of Scent (향의 경계) by Lily (릴리)

Tagged: Drama, Yaoi, Secretary, Boss-Subordinate, Office Life, Omegaverse

OMEGAVERSE "Become his therapist, and you'll earn 500,000 a year!" When Moon Dobin, a dominant omega, goes for a job interview, he's baffled by the CEO's proposal: have sex with her son as a form of therapy. His client? Seo Tae-oh, a dominant alpha who can't sense pheromones. Dobin has worked hard to protect his virginity, but for that salary… anything goes! So, Dobin leads a secret double life as Tae-oh's secretary by day and his therapist by night. As the two spend more time together, something is in the air - and not just pheromones!

1 to 10 (원투텐) by NOD

Tagged: Comedy, Romance, Smut, Yaoi, Uni life

1 to 10, from holding hands to kissing, everything in a relationship has to go according to plan for Gunjoon. You can’t just skip over one stage to the other, not when everything needs to proceed in order—you gotta hit those bases one by one. Then there’s Jungseok who’s the exact opposite, carefree and spontaneous and just looking for some fun. So just imagine Gunjoon’s surprise when after one drunken night, he wakes up in the same bed with none other than Jungseok. Looks like Gunjoon’s gotta brace himself for a romance that defies the 1 to 10 rule, a rollercoaster ride of a love that’s gonna blow his mind for sure…

Don't Mix Business with Pleasure! (공과 사��� 구분해!) by Hodot

Tagged: Comedy, Romance, Smut, Yaoi, Uni life

Baek Dohu's a university student who writes BL novels on the side. And his preferred type of top character? The scumbag kind, who treats their partners like crap. And Dohu's first impression of Seo Juheon is the complete opposite: the typical nice-guy—always smiling, always catering to the needs of those around him. But things take a turn when he accidentally comes across Juheon blackmailing someone in an alley. The real Juheon is a polar opposite from the facade he puts up; he swears, he has a temper, he's manipulative…and Dohu loves it. Juheon could be THE inspiration for his next big novel that hit a dead end long ago. Excited, Dohu starts following Juheon around "observing" his character, which is bound to give Juheon some wrong ideas… Between the lines of artist and muse, business and pleasure, who'll be the first to cross the line over to the other side?

Crossing the Line (선 넘는 사이) by Pangin (author), Hudadak (artist)

Tagged: Comedy, Romance, Yaoi, Bisexual, Enemies, Sex Friends,Uni life cw: Dubious Consent, Homophobia

Han Garam’s roomate is rude, inconsiderate, and…okay, totally his type. But after overhearing him talking about how much he hates gay people, Garam knows he needs to seek revenge, and what better way than by getting off to gay porn in the other man’s bed! It would have been the perfect plan, if only he hadn’t been caught in the act by the raging homophobe himself, Yoon Jaehyuk. Jaehyuk is disgusted by what he sees but, with the RA refusing to let him switch, he has no choice but to try and force Garam to move out himself. An achievable goal, it seems, until one unexpected night of passion throws Jaehyuk’s world into disarray. Sure, he definitely still wants Garam to leave, but…why can’t he stop thinking about it?!

Jinx (징크스) by Mingwa

Tagged: Drama, Smut, Yaoi, Boss-Subordinate Relationship, Martial Arts, Sports, Contractual Relationship, Debt cw: Dubious Consent, Rape, Abuse, Violence

Physical therapist Kim Dan has been down on his luck for as long as he can remember. Between an ailing grandmother, menacing loansharks, and an old boss making it almost impossible for him to find work, Dan is truly running out of options. Naturally, it feels like a dream come true when he’s finally hired to treat top-paid MMA fighter Joo Jaekyung, especially when the man then calls him out for a treatment the night before a match with an oh-so-tantalizing offer of five thousand dollars. He claims to have a “jinx” in need of a particular type of “treatment," but it's one that Dan isn't quite prepared to offer… You see, Jaekyung may be a beast in the ring, but he’s even rougher in the bedroom, and Dan’s not sure he can survive Jaekyung at his most primal. Nevertheless, the promise of much-needed cash has Dan agreeing to this ill-fated deal… Could a night together be the thing to help Jaekyung break this jinx once and for all?

Fight Club (파이트 클럽) by AM

Tagged: Adult, Drama, Mature, Romance, Smut, Sports, Yaoi, Boxing, Height Difference, Omegaverse, Rivals

OMEGAVERSE Minchan lived life as supreme alpha. A friend recommended to Min-chan, who felt bored with this life, join , where someone's worth is judged solely by their martial arts skills. Minchan started with a light game and then participated in the game himself. When he gets tired of constantly winning in martial arts, he ends up losing to Tae-wook, who is smaller than him and an omega. Minchan approaches Tae-wook with resentment for the defeat he experienced for the first time in his life, but his pride is even more hurt by their attitude, which seems to show no interest in him. Then one day, a heat cycle hits Tae-wook, and Minchan jumps at the chance to spend the night with Tae-wook… The beginning of a love fight with physical confrontations!

A Well-known Love Affair (명성이따르는연애) by PEANUT

Tagged: Drama, Romance, Yaoi, Chaebol, Delivery Man, Depression

Woo Myung-seong, the next rising leader in the hotel world, was molded by his father to be a ‘masterpiece’. Although Myung-seong appears to be perfect in every aspect, in reality, he is losing his zest for life, exhausted by the pressures he endured since childhood. One day, Myung-seong runs into Jeonsu, a former highschool classmate, who works as a delivery man for a chicken restaurant. After this encounter, Myung-seong decides to use the inexperienced Jeonsu to change his mood under the guise of sharing his dating skills to help Jeonsu find a girlfriend. Jeonsu, who is sincere with all his emotions on display, a fool, begins to stir something in Myung-seong’s heart.

Ongoing webtoons | 1 | x | 3 |

[kenjiyabuki]

gmmtv 2025 wants and needs and predictions

i was in a yapping mood. feel free to comment :0)

anyone remember Captain from My School President? yeah, i forgot about him too until i was revisiting it last week. he is such a cutie and he really shone through in episode 6. yes he did, go back and check it. so, GMMTV, please take him out the basement in 2025 and at least give him a secondary role? i accept even if it is just one of those "main BL lead's goofy bestie" ones, just let him see the sun.

SO I THINK THIS WONT HAPPEN BECAUSE ITS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE but does anyone remember this interview where Jojo said he wanted to make an Sex and The City-esque series about the dating life of a guy with Gun Attaphan as the lead because it haunts me daily. if i believed in a god, this would be among my nightly prayers. especially after watching Love in the Big City, i just kept thinking how a Thai series like this would eat!!! my first choice would not be GMMTV to be honest (i want bigger budget!!!) but then, i would trust Jojo with a story like this. at least i would love to see his version. its obvious Jojo's other not BL series (3 Will Be Free, Mama Gogo, The Warp Effect, Dirty Laundry etc.) are more widely beloved than his BLs (Never Let Me Go, Only Friends). so maybe he would be more successful doing something that doesnt have to adhere to branded pairs and it just could be messy and queer as much as he can make it without the shipper fans nitpicking at everything. which, OKAY, i dont know if Gun fans are that blasé but i assume they are as he does work outside of BL and like... c'mon he is such a great actor, put him next to a pot of flowers and he could create chemistry.

Jojo also said he would like to work with Fourth... which is yes. YES, please. look, yeah Jojo sometimes disappoints but to me, he is still one of the most exciting directors in Thai BL. he has a VERY distinct style and i love him for it. its exciting to see which new actor will get the Jojo touch each year. he is such a actor's director and they always shine a different way through his lens. I just want to see what Jojo would make out of Fourth and Gun, both great talents!

some days i think there is no way AouBoom wont have main leads this year and other days my trust issues kick in... nevertheless, i think we wont be seeing them separated but i am asking the court, haven't they done their time in the side couple prison? didnt they pay their dues? if the court agrees, let's get them out of the uni uniforms and put them into something darker. something higher stakes, desperate love, fans nail biting every week, some new actors as the side couple etc.... AouBoom can handle it.

GL ANTHOLOGY/ENSEMBLE SERIES. at least two. one in the messy Only Friends type of way, the other a saccharine romcom a la We Are. for cast i want them to put all the ladies in that GMMTV building in there, even the female flies buzzing around

tbh, if we are going to get another long ass New show, i want BL AND GL couples. like i dont understand why all BLs have to be sausage fests like why cant we have best of both worlds together in one series........... i need to see more useless lesbian and dumb gay friendship representation stat. (e.g. The Warp Effect or Bad Buddy)

a more personalized wish for GL: i think she is back from maternity leave so, i want Fah in a GL purely for my self interest. she is just so talented and gorgeous and i want to see her kiss other gorgeous girls... i want to say Namtan but i think NamtanFilm might keep going through 2025, which okay, not complaining!!!!!!!!!

i KNOW GeminiFourth will have another series because i think they have been saying it or at least confirmed that they intend to keep working together. they make GMMTV lots of money so i dont see any chance for them to not have new series. they also expressed that they wanted get out of the high school uniforms which is like YEAH. yeah, boys. i agree. last year i was so disappointed to see them in My Love Mix-Up. it felt like such a setback after MSP and their spectacular work in Moonlight Chicken. just get them out the those blue shorts and put them in whatever, that's my (our) only wish.

i love them but i think want FirstKhaotung to rest. or i just want to see them something not exactly BL. yeah, i cant believe i am saying this as well. excited to see them in THK. no further comments.

might be an unpopular opinion but PLEASE no japanese BL remakes. please. i think it doesnt translate well. i am sorry...

i dont follow them that closely but i think GreatInn confirmed they will keep working together. BUTTT how about ThorFluke tho👀 will we get any crumbs from them?

WinnySatang… i think they have lots of room for improvement in their acting (i feel the emotions but they can look stiff) which affects their chemistry's physicality (e.g. sometimes they leave room for several Jesuses). still, i find them endearing together and see lots of potential and growth in the future IF they also want to keep on being a ship. tbh, i dont see them ready to tackle being leads yet so i am okay to see them as secondary again. and also singular roles in other BLs or non BLs.

MarcPoon. in whatever way or shape or form they think we deserve it. i just want to see more of them on my screen, together or not. but if together, preferably in a different dynamic than We Are (looking at you Perfect 10 Liners…). i adored Poon in Shadow, i would love to see him in a horror or just anything challenging again.

Lego of LYKN in his own BL?????????? that has to happen at one point, no? something to do with dancing, hopefully????

OffGun is already confirmed for next year. and full disclosure, i am soooo biased. generally i want couples to mix and match but i like OffGun together so much, i dont think i will ever complain about them. they could've been on their 78th BL and i would be like "okay, when is the next one?". my only wish would be for them to go back to the darker, more challenging, higher stakes kind of BL in the vein of Not Me again.

i think we can all agree when we see that trailer with Podd & Papang on that screen we wont even be shocked...

on the topic of shock, i want a new unexpected BL pair that will make us feel gagged and gooped and gobsmacked like the announcement of OhmNanon (rip) or JossGawin. hit us where we least expect it!

[ae-nar]

GET TO KNOW YOUR MUTUALS

thank you for the tag :) @kenobifitz

its my first time getting one of those, im so excited!!!!

What's the origin of your username?: uh, basically a name i chose, though i do have a fun story for it! basically i was researching names, remembered one and then years later decided to use it, but couldn't find it. like i thought i went insane and just made it up but no. i simply forgot the spelling - the original one was einarr, but i like this spelling better so yes.

OTP(s) + ship name: oooh there are a lot, lets see. barisi, buddie (9-1-1), newthomas (maze runner), zukka (avatar). okay not that many apparently i enjoy more gen and found family type of stuff

Favorite color: green!!!!!! second favorite is blue!

Song stuck in your head: noize mc - ты не считаешь (you don't count), which really is just amaro's vibes from my barmaro to barisi pipeline vers!

ненавидеть проще, чем прощать, как ни крути // а я заебался выбирать сложные пути // хочу опять уметь засыпать раньше пяти утра // и не думать о том, чьим болтом занята твоя дыра

to hate is always easier than to forgive // and i am fucking exhausted of choosing the difficult ways // i wish i again could fall asleep before five am // and not think about whose dick is in your hole now

Weirdest habit/trait: uhh. probs my awkardness around ppl? im really bad at reading social clues so sometimes im too loud and stuff?

Hobbies: oh, uh, gaming, watching movies/tv shows/youtube/tiktok, reading fanfiction. basically anything that amounts to escapism. i like board games but my friends either don't want to play or are constantly unavailable :c

If you work, what's your profession?: im heartbrokenly unemployed! but i do have a job interview this sunday!

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be?: linguistics professor, but id need to not flunk out of uni for that

Something you're good at: following orders ig. i can do some stuff but im mediocre at best at it all: cooking, drawing, singing...

Something you hate: myself ehem uhh the state of the world? i am just a silly girl [gender neutral]

Something you collect: personality disorders! i have two!

Something you forget: my meds? a lot of stuff, tbh, i had problems with memory for the longest time and they only became worse lately

What's your love language?: touch, words and time.

Favorite movie/show: oh, now u r in for a ride, lets see. svu, supernatural, 9-1-1, house md, pacific rim, [anime] zankyou no terror, avatar (the boy with an arrow on his head, not the blue ppl), tmnt, [manga/anime] noragami. think thats the gist of it

Favorite food: depends on the mood, but i think one of the safest things is green apples

Favorite animal: prolly cats

What were you like as a child?: meek, overachiever, lonely. somehow still happier, possibly because i did not comprehend all of it at the time

Favorite subject at school: english, history and social studies

Least favorite subject: literature, geometry and chemistry

What's your best character trait?: uhhhhhh people pleasing?

What's your worst character trait?: ...people pleasing?

If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet?: my mother prolly. tell her that she should not have children. the other answer would be me, but id say a thing no therapist would like to hear

no pressure tags are not happening because its my first time and im terrified sorry :c