#and ahsoka acting like he was genuinely a good MASTER

[antianakin]

Maybe it's my personal bias, but a dark Ahsoka trying to get back in to the WBW because the whole mess from Anakin and then never actually processing her feelings, grief, anger etc leading her to thinking she can "fix" everything by "saving" Anakin. Not really thinking of the repercussions.

And have it be that she isn't trying to change the timeline for selfless reasons, but because she wants Anakin back. That misplaced sort of blame that comes when you over idolize someone. It was only Palpatine's fault, she tries to believe, Anakin wouldn't have done this all unprompted.

In trying to get back to the WBW having her actually process her emotions and the events and realize she's putting herself and her former master on pedestals to cope. Gradually working on herself.

Or not. Idk having Ahsoka unhealthily cope with grief in a way almost paralleling Anakin (trying to cheat death for Padme and failing anyway) sounds cool to me. Or maybe I'm just exhausted.

This would certainly make a real cool AU! The one thing making me hesitate is that she explicitly says while in the WBW in Rebels that Ezra can't save his master just like she can't save hers and never shows any real inclination towards trying to use it to save Anakin. So if you went with this concept, you'd have to figure out why she changed her mind on it or you'd just have to pretend like that moment didn't happen.

But in general I think that the idea really works! Like, I wouldn't want her to actually MAKE IT to the WBW or anything, I don't want any weird time travel shenanigans for her to mess with, but I think the idea of her TRYING to get back to it so she can fix Anakin, or fix what she did wrong or something could be a really interesting goal for her to have throughout a season where she's dealing with her Anakin feelings. Especially if we assume she's slightly fucked up from Malachor and its Sith bullshit in addition to her regular emotional struggles.

And in the she has to give it up. Like maybe she finds a way to do it, a way to open one of those doors, but doing so would have some sort of consequence and she has to choose between her selfish desire to "save" Anakin and fix what she believes are her own mistakes, or keeping that particular consequence from happening. Maybe people she's grown close to over the course of the story will be killed or put at risk if she opens the door, and she has to let it go, let ANAKIN go, in order to protect them.

That version of Anakin is gone, he's dead, and the version of him that exists now is clearly unwilling to be saved, at least by her, and all she can do is accept that and move on. Let go of her guilt, let go of her fears, just... let go. MAYBE her choice to leave the Order spurred him down that path, but maybe it didn't. Maybe Anakin made his own choices based on things entirely unrelated to her. Maybe if she'd been there she could've helped him, but maybe she'd have just been killed with all the rest. She'll never know and she has to come to terms with that before she can move forward with her life. She might've left first, but Anakin left her, too, and he took everything else she loved with him when he did.

In an ideal world, this would lead Ahsoka to do a lot of reflecting on her past with Anakin as she tries to figure out how far back she'd have to go to "save" him and she realizes just how dark he already was when she knew him and ultimately realizes that HE WAS DARK WHEN SHE MET HIM. There were things that happened to him, things he'd probably already chosen to DO, long before she'd met him that were already taking him down the path to darkness, things she'll likely never know or understand. But it allows her to see Anakin so much more truthfully than she'd ever done before. No longer does she view Anakin through the rosy lens of childhood hero worship, she can see how often he struggled with his own darkness and the ways it impacted their relationship, the way it's continuing to impact her NOW.

There were good moments, and she'd loved him, but he was dark long before she knew him and that's something she HAS to accept about him if she's ever going to let him go. There were things Anakin did to her that weren't okay, there were things Anakin taught her that were wrong and caused her to start down her own darker path, and until she can recognize that Anakin FAILED HER, she'll never be able to find her way BACK. She'll never be a Jedi until she acknowledges this very important and vital truth about Anakin and her apprenticeship under him. He WASN'T a good master and he WASN'T a good Jedi. He was sometimes a good PERSON, but he'd ultimately decided to leave that behind, too. He wasn't the person she'd thought he was and unless she wants to become him, she has to acknowledge where he made mistakes so she can keep from making the same ones herself.

So yeah, I think this idea has a LOT of merit and could definitely be a very interesting path to take Ahsoka on!

[gffa]

One thing I was surprisingly okay with in the Ahsoka finale was, "[Anakin] always stood by me. Even when no one else did. That's why, no matter what happens next, I'm going to be there for you." Because I'm okay with how not everything has to be a perfectly unbiased statement of objective truth. Sometimes a character will say something because they have motivations to say it!! Because, when I ask myself, "What would Ahsoka think Sabine needs to hear right in this moment?" my answer would be, "My Master always, always stood by me, so I'm going to stand by you, no matter what." Because that's what Sabine needed from her. Just as Anakin came to Ahsoka on Seatos and it wasn't for himself, he wasn't telling her these things because he needed to say them, but because she needed to hear them, now too is Ahsoka saying the things that Sabine needs to hear, because that's what a Master does for their Apprentice. As weirdly paced and acted as that scene is, it cannot exist separately from the one semi-coherent storyline this entire series had--that Ahsoka was deeply afraid she was going to turn out like Darth Vader. You don't make that one of your only central themes and then say Anakin always stood by her, like I cannot believe that it was meant to be Felony earnestly saying that Anakin never tried to kill her on Malachor. I've listened to interviews where Felony directly said, no, even when he offered her a chance to turn traitor, he was still going to kill her. But you know what I can believe? That Ahsoka is allowed to be a character in a story with her own motivations and reasons for saying things, even if she's a pet favorite of his, she is still allowed to say things for the sake of other characters that are tilted one way or another, and that's fine with me. It's what Sabine needed to hear, just as Anakin said the things Ahsoka needed to hear. It's a genuinely good moment of closure for the theme of "it's never too late for the Master to help the Apprentice reach a better emotional place", because sometimes they're not saying things for themselves, sometimes they're saying things for other people. I could see the way Sabine relaxed and brightened when Ahsoka said that, the way it meant everything to her, and so I'm okay with that moment. Sometimes characters tilt their words one way or the other because they are written with motivations that aren't just "be a mouthpiece to make objective observations about the story"!

[kanansdume]

It's so weird seeing people make the claim that Obi-Wan like... genuinely sees Anakin and Vader as two different people and claiming that Ahsoka and Obi-Wan are reacting to him in the same way.

Set aside the Kenobi show for a second and just look at the OT and it's pretty clear that when he's separating Anakin and Vader that he's doing so for LUKE'S sake, not his own. HE knows Anakin and Vader are the same person, you can see him improvising how to discuss this with Luke without giving that away AS IT HAPPENS. But he knows Luke does deserve to know about Anakin if he wants to, and he knows that Luke both deserves and needs to know the truth about Darth Vader and the part Obi-Wan played in it if Luke is going to start training now. But he also knows Luke ISN'T READY to hear that his father is a monstrous Sith Lord who betrayed everybody. And he's right. Luke isn't ready. He's not ready three years later, either. Luke MANAGES, but he wasn't truly ready to hear the truth on Bespin any more than he was on Tatooine.

And once he and Luke discuss the truth on Dagobah, there's absolutely no attempt to actually discuss Anakin and Vader as two separate people. He defends the lie with the "from a certain point of view" line, sure, but that's mostly him just saying "nothing I said was actually a lie, just a modified truth." He's being a little facetious here, too. But it's not him attempting to genuinely convince Luke that Anakin and Vader ARE two separate people.

And unlike Ahsoka, who appears to be legitimately deciding to just pretend Darth Vader never existed and Anakin never did anything wrong in his life ever, Obi-Wan DOES recognize it. That's the whole POINT of discussing Darth Vader with Luke, too. That's the whole point of admitting that Vader was OBI-WAN'S student when he absolutely did not have to tell Luke that at all. He knows exactly what Anakin's done and is perfectly capable of actually acknowledging it both to himself and out loud, to the point of being able to recognize his own part in the story too, he's just protecting Luke from that realization for the time being. Because Obi-Wan, of all people, knows how hard it can be to come to terms with what Anakin chose to become, and is sparing Luke from having to go through that until it's either absolutely necessary or until Luke's had more time to prepare for how to react to it.

But Ahsoka NEVER recognizes what Anakin's done. She doesn't discuss BOTH of them, she doesn't call "Vader" a traitor at any point. She never uses Vader to talk to Sabine about the choices she's making, or talks about her feelings about Vader's betrayal of the Jedi. She ONLY discusses Anakin and how great Anakin was. There's never any REAL acknowledgment, either internally or externally, that she knows what Anakin's done and become. Aside from the flickers in the vision, which could've been Anakin trying to FORCE her to acknowledge it if we interpret it as it actually being Anakin himself rather than just Ahsoka's fears made manifest. There's nothing like "He might've made choices I didn't agree with later, but he was a good master when I knew him" to show that she CAN see both sides of it. NOTHING. Even if she USED to acknowledge it before, perhaps, she's choosing not to anymore. She's choosing to act like Vader just never happened because she can't cope if she does. She HAS to only acknowledge Anakin as she knew him and act like Anakin just died a Jedi and never did anything wrong ever in his life or she'll SHATTER.

That's NOT what Obi-Wan's doing, at all.

Even if we take the Kenobi show into account, Obi-Wan's choice to say "My friend is truly dead" is out of acknowledgment of Anakin's own statements. It's pretty CLEARLY metaphorical, it's Obi-Wan recognizing that Anakin is beyond saving, that Anakin is making a choice to be THIS and nothing Obi-Wan can say or do will change that. He's choosing to grieve the person he loved rather than clinging to this idea that Anakin might change. Anakin's made his choice and all Obi-Wan can do now is move on and let him go. But he DOES know it's Anakin, he DOES acknowledge that it's Anakin. He can't do anything else, he's literally staring at Anakin's face as he says it. That line is him telling Anakin that he's washing his hands of him from now on. It's a "Fine, if you want to pretend that Anakin is dead, I'll let you, but that means I'm done with you now and you can't manipulate me through that relationship anymore."

One of these is a healthy way to handle the situation and the other is uh. Not. I'll let you take your guess as to which is which.

[mathmusic8]

Tales of the Jedi Reaction

Y'all, it was SO

GOOD

<3 <3 <3

Spoilers under the cut

Episode 1

Pav-ti (Ahsoka's mom) is beautiful 

And she has a gun :D

Also her dad is a lovable dork <3

I appreciate how they have 1-year-old Ahsoka acting appropriately for her age

This is quite the ritual for one so young. But I appreciate it, in a way. 

Ohhhh no big bad monster

Hghhhhhhhhhhh very big bad monster!!

Is this gonna be a Grogu-with-the-mud-horn moment?

Nope, guess not--opE, THIS BRINGS ME DISTRESS NOT GOOD

I mean we know how this ends but STILL

THAT SCREENSHOT THO with baby soka patting the tiger's nose <3 <3 <3

(How on earth did she get on top of that thing?? XD)

Gosh dangit y'all I need to sleep but I now don't WANT TO

Episode 2

Young Dooku!! Is that young Qui-Gon? Can't really tell. I don't see a padawan braid

That's the most actual dog-looking dog I've ever seen in star wars

Dooku's so dramatic with that cape XD

Y'all are leaving your backs wide open

Ohhhhkaaay this is sinister

Mmmmmm this does not look like it's going to end well

His lightsaber was blue <3

Why? Just... why, senator dude?

OH SNAP THERE'S THE DARKNESS

GOOD JOB KIDs FOR DEESCALATING 

BUT YIKES

Heeheeheehee it is Qui-Gon <3

Good golly gracious I'm gonna cry Qui-Gon was so sweet

(Noooooo why is this show SO GOOD I WAS GONNA SLEEP BUT I GUESS NOT)

Episode 3

I can see why Dooku is getting very fed up with the system. I would be, too.

What are those GLOVES? Like, are they just for show or are these people only near-human? (I lowkey want a pair)

Hmmm the senator's nervous. He'll do ANYTHING for his people, huh?

Disaster lineage rebellion didn't start with Qui-Gon XD

Thhaaaat's a lightsaber mark in that tree

Ope, LOTS of lightsaber marks

Well this went downhill very quickly

This guy's got mismatched eyes. Neat

Semage. Is that a name I should know?

(As interesting and genuinely fascinating as Dooku's backstory is, I hope we don't spend a whole of time on his fall. It's depressing.)

Episode 4

At least one more Dooku episode. Alrighty, that's fine. I just kinda hope this is the last one.

Ooooooooh I like this inner view of the archives :D

There goes Kamino :'D

Ohhhhhhhhh this is DURING Episode I

"an active imagination", honey--Master Nu--that is NOT the right response to a report of Sith appearing--

YADDLE!!

SPEAKS NORMALLY???

WHAT????

Was NOT expecting that

So Yoda's just weird I guess

Dropping hints, are we, Dooku?

"I will not be there to protect you, my old Padawan" "You need not worry, Master. Obi-Wan fills that role now."

SHRIIIIIEEEEEK

"He acquits himself quite well."

*shrieking continues"

Dooku still hasn't met Obi-Wan?? Even though he and Qui-Gon apparently still get along? 

Is that the last time they saw each other? D':

Here we go. I sense a climax coming. Yaddle's not having it.

Ohhhhh they just got the news about Qui-Gon's death. Oww.

Yeah, I bet this is Dooku's last episode

Yaddle doing some sneaky sneak sneaking

(Ahsoka canonically never knew Yaddle. This is going to be bad)

Ah, so Dooku's already been in contact with Sidious.

"You lost an apprentice and so did I. All in service of our greater goals."

Hrk--

That was a gut punch if I ever felt one

This REALLY hurts, watching Dooku voice all his regrets for his lost honor, as if he's having second thoughts, but we as the audience already know he's only going to fall further

Yaddle... you... okay, mad respect for giving your full and honest best effort to help this man. But this is an absolute tragedy.

Yaddle, I wish you'd've run. I get that you're still trying to save him, but---

HOLY--

Ohhhh that was unpleasant death

OPE JUST KIDDING

But this still can't end well

....I don't know which moment was worse.

Episode 5

Okay, there's only 6 of these, so better enjoy these last two

(Will there be any more? I don't think so...)

Anakin! During clone wars--baby face! LOOK AT THAT BABY FACE ANAKIN

OBI-WAN MULLET

AHSOKA almost HAS SLEEVES!

CALEBBBBBBBBB 

AIIIIEEEEEEEEE THat WaS sO CuTE

Oh myGOSH HE CANONICALLY KNOWS AHSOKA DURING THE WAR

Seriously, like, not very many people were in there. That super implies they're close friends

Of course Anakin thinks the training remotes are sub-par XD

Troopers! My boys! 

REXXXX <3 <3

"Don't worry Rex, she'll wake up"

Awwwww

IT WAS JESSE!!!

*he waves* "Sorry Commander!"

SQUEAAAAAL

THAT WAS SO CUTE JESSE XD

also, super helpful to know stun blasts work for a whole hour. And that you can "get used to it". And that she's dizzy afterwards

Jeeze Anakin how long were you doing this?

So yeah, she does start waking up faster

THIS HURTS MY HEART

THIS IS WHY SHE SURVIVED

IT HURTS

awww she's still training later in the war

OWWW SHE USES THAT EXACT MOVE IN THE--YES, IN THIS EPISODE EXACTLY WHY ARE YOU HURTING ME LIKE THIS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Episode 6

gaaaaaasp is this how Ahsoka gets her white lightsabers?? So excited

Gah the funeral tho (cries)

Bail absolutely saw her

Ah, there he is

Ahsoka's face--she's just... so broken right now

These poor troopers are like "we picked up a weeeirdo"

Ahsoka got the message, tho :D

REX IS STILL WITH HER

GAH SO MANY LITTLE DETAILS FOR THE FANFICS

Yeeee! Cut Lawquane and the Fam!

Orrrr just farmers, okay thay's fine

Aaaaand there goes Ahsoka's cover

ASHLA IS CANONICALLY HER UNDER COVER NAME!! Yeee!

Yeeeeaaah, kid, you better skip town. Like. Pronto.

Ah, but that's what attracted the Inquisitor. Got it.

Oh.

Oh dear.

That is NOT how I expected this to go

Ohhh mmmaaan this is tense

Awww I'm almost sad that we didn't get to see this super cool/dangerous Inquisitor in Rebels. But nah, it just makes this little mini-episode epic

Eeeeheeehehe, there's where Organa's comm came in handy :D

It's implied that a significant chunk of time passed. And Rex wasn't with her.

HMMM

But that was the last episode

Maybe we'll learn more in the Bad Batch

I'm going to bed soooooo late y'all

But was it worth it?

YES

ALL OF THEM WERE SO GOOD

[jenstar1992-2]

May I please request an older!Captain Rex x reader drabble where you're married and there with Rex, Gregor and Wolffe when Ezra and the rebels come to Rex for help?

Ask and you shall receive. 😊 Here it is, took me a minute to start writing again, but I finally got around to it. I know this is not really a drabble, I didn’t start out with the intention on making it long, especially not THIS long, but here we are. It's been a good minute since I last wrote anything so hopefully this is ok, and I hope you like it. Also, sorry it went a bit off the rails there, did not mean for it to get so angsty and junk, but my brain was going, and my fingers just kept typing, tried to end it happy though so… yeah.

Trust

Pairing: Older! Rex X Fem! reader

Warnings: Language, angst, mentions of order 66, reader being very protective of her boys, feels all around really, a bunch of married couple fluff (not really a warning, just wanted to mention it), it does get a little saucy at the end, nothing crazy, more talk than anything else

Word Count: 11,113

"We've got company", you hear Gregor say as he eyes the screen in front of him. You stand from your seat and make your way over to him.

"What is it", you ask, looking over his shoulder to inspect the image on the screen for yourself.

"Looks like an auxiliary starfighter of some kind."

"What's it doing out here?"

"I'm more concerned about who's inside it", Rex says from behind you. You turn to face your husband, giving him a curious look.

"Who the hell would be all the way out here? We're in the middle of nowhere", you say, holding your arms out and gesturing to the space around you before folding them at your chest.

"Exactly, who in their right mind would land in the middle of nowhere, and conveniently right in our path."

"You think it's something we should be worried about?"

"Don't know, just seems a bit suspicious is all", he says, lifting his hand to his chin, rubbing it with his index finger in thought.

There's a short moment of silence before you break it. "Well", you say with a little clap of your hands to break Rex out of his thoughts and bring him back to reality. "Let's check it out, who knows, maybe their friendly." You walk to the door and look back to the three men, giving them a smile and waiting for them to follow.

Wolffe chuckled and shook his head. "Ah (Y/N), always the optimist." His comment making you smile a little wider.

"Hey, it's gotten me this far", you say with a little shrug.

They all chuckle at that as they move to join you by the door. Wolffe and Gregor each grabbing their weapons on the way. You give them a confused look before Wolffe states, "Just in case."

You smile and nod, absentmindedly placing your hands to your hips, where they ghost over your lightsabers that you keep strapped there. You didn't know why you kept them on, it's not like you ever used them, never had to after coming to this deserted planet, where nothing much ever happens. But you kept them there, if for no other reason than it just felt wrong not having them on you. Your lightsabers were an extension of yourself after all, at least that's what your master taught you. As you reach to open the door, your hand gets caught in a gentle grip. You turn, raising your eyebrow at Rex who only offers you a soft smile. "I'll go first cyar'ika."

A small grin forms on your lips. "As always", you reply, moving aside to let him take the lead. As he passes you, he places a soft kiss on your forehead.

"Yep, always", he confirms before opening the door and walking out into the bright sunlight, you and the other two men right behind him.

You walk up to the railing and gaze down warily at the group that had just exited the starfighter. "It's a bunch of old geezers, well mostly old geezers", one of them says, a lasat from the looks of him.

"Well- armed old geezers", the Mandalorian girl adds.

"What do you want", Rex asks, sounding a bit gruffer than usual. You guessed he was trying to sound more intimidating. You would've laughed if you weren't also trying keep a serious front.

"We're looking for someone", responded the man in the group.

"Well, that's too bad, cause there's nobody out here", Rex says while leaning on the railing.

The boy speaks up next and asks, "Hey, uh, does the number 7567 mean anything to you?" You all straighten simultaneously.

"What did you just say", you asked, a small ball of anger beginning in your chest.

"Uh, I said 7567", the boy responded.

You looked over to Rex who still had his gaze set on the group below. "Well, that's my birth number", he tells them.

You see the man's eyes light up with recognition, like he's had a realization. "They're clones", he says angrily. He then pulls out a lightsaber and ignites it, stepping in front of the others.

"It's the jedi, they've come for revenge", you hear Wolffe say from your right before he fires a few shots at the man, who blocks them easily. You then see the man take a few more steps forward, looking like he wanted to jump up to your level and take you all out, but you weren't about to let him get that far. Acting on instinct, you grabbed your sabers from your hips and jumped down to the ground, landing just a few feet from him, your sabers igniting as soon as your feet hit the dirt. You stood in a defensive stance, ready to attack if he made even a single wrong move.

"I wouldn't if I were you", you told him in a tone that said you weren't messing around.

"She's a jedi", the boy said from behind the man, surprise clear in his voice.

"Stand down troopers, that's an order", you heard Rex bark from above. "(Y/N)", he then said in a softer tone. You knew what he wanted, but you were far from relenting, you needed to keep your men safe.

"Not gonna happen", you responded, still not taking your eyes off the man in front of you.

"Kanan stop, we have to trust them remember?" The boy seemed to be trying to reason with the man. You continued to glare at him, an action which he reciprocated. You stayed like that for a few more seconds until you heard your name being called again, even more gently than before.

"Please cyare, put them away", Rex calls down, trying to keep his voice as soft as possible. He knows all you need is a little push to send you over the edge at this point. You were always like this when anyone or anything threatened the safety of your men, you'd been that way for as long as he’d known you and he didn't see that ever changing. Not that he didn't respect the hell out of you for it. He and his brothers always appreciated the way you defended them with such vigor. However, Rex also knew that this wasn't the time for that. Something told him that they should be trying to make friends in this situation, instead of starting a fight.

"Not until he does", you finally reply.

The boy puts a hand on the man's shoulder, giving him a pleading look. Kanan sighs before deactivating his lightsaber and returning it to his hip. He then looks at you expectantly. You regard him for a few more moments before you too put your sabers away. Once you re-attached them, you turned and jumped back up to your original position, grabbing the railing and easily pulling yourself up and over it, before coming to stand beside your husband. You cross your arms over your chest, still feeling a bit defensive. Rex could feel your tension and responded by wrapping an arm around your waist to hold you closer to his side, feeling you relax just a bit.

The boy took this opportunity to make his introductions. "My name's Ezra. This is Kanan. That's Sabine and Zeb", he said while pointing out each of his comrades. "It's nice to meet you, 7567."

Rex felt you stiffen a bit in his grasp. You hated when anyone referred to him by his number and not his name. It had started as a pet peeve, but as time went on you just saw it as downright disrespectful and then it just straight up pissed you off. Rex knew this and it was just one of the millions of reasons he loved you so much. He could feel you prickling up with anger again. He moved the hand holding your waist to your hip and gave it a light squeeze in an attempt to calm the storm brewing inside you. This was your way of telling each other that everything was okay and not to be upset, light squeezes or soft touches, usually followed by a reassuring look. After this he again felt you start to calm. It was crazy the affect you two had on each other, it was damn near magic.

"Actually, my name is Rex. Captain, 501st Clone Battalion. Meet Commanders Gregor and Wolffe", Rex introduced the men standing behind you before looking to you, pulling you to him in a tighter one-armed embrace, "and this beautiful ball of fire is our General, (Y/F/N, Y/L/N). I know she seems a bit rough around the edges, but once you get to know her, you'll find she's pretty amazing." You looked to Rex after your introduction to notice him looking at you with an expression of pride, like he had just showed off his most prized possession, which in a way, you were. Rex never had much, but he always had you, and that's all he ever wanted. Your love and adoration were all he needed to feel as though he had a fulfilling life. Something he reminded you of on more than one occasion. You couldn't help but smile back at him, that same adoration clearly visible in your gaze.

You both were brought back to the present when you heard Ezra's voice addressing you. "We were sent by Ahsoka", he told you. Your ears perked up at the mention of your friend, turning to look at the boy.

"Ahsoka?"

Rex grinned. "Ahsoka Tano. We fought by her side from the battle of Christophsis to the siege of Mandalore", he said reminiscently.

"A friend of Ahsoka's is a friend of ours", you said, finally offering the group a genuine smile. Ezra smiled back, glad to see the fighting was over.

***

You and the boys had decided to help the crew of the Ghost to find a place to set up their rebel base. You could tell they were grateful for your help, most of them anyway. Kanan still seemed to distrust your little squad. When you thought about it you couldn't totally blame him. From what you could tell, Kanan was a young man, which meant that he would've still been a young padawan near the end of the clone wars, which also meant that he had to endure the horror that was Order 66 at a young age. You remember how terrible it had been for you, Ahsoka, and Rex. Not to mention the countless others who had to watch their allies, their friends turn on them, not knowing why. You had felt their pain, their fear, their feeling of betrayal, all before they were silenced. Then there were the clones who had their chips removed and had been traumatized at what they had almost done, what most of their brothers did do, even if it was out of their control. It took a heavy toll on all of you, and even though so much time had passed, it still hurt like hell. So yeah, you could understand his feelings, but if you were going to all work together successfully, then he had to lay some of that aside and learn to trust you, and the clones. You knew it wouldn't be easy, but you figured it couldn't hurt to try and talk to him.

You were walking topside on your way to the Phantom for what you knew was going to be an uncomfortable talk, at best. As you approached the vessel you saw Rex standing by its entrance talking to whoever was inside. "We all have a choice", he said as you reached his position. He then turned to walk away, stopping after a few steps when he saw you standing there. He had a saddened expression that made your heart hurt, but before you could ask what was wrong, he walked past you, only stopping for a moment to bring your forehead to his, a gesture that meant he wasn't okay, but he would be. You nodded and let him leave, then turned to continue your little mission.

As you walked to the entrance of the phantom Ezra emerged, giving you a sad smile before passing you to join the rest of his crew up front. Once he was gone you focused your attention on Kanan who was facing away from you, fiddling with his lightsaber. "Hey", you called, trying to sound like you weren't still a little pissed at him.

"Hi", he said, rather unenthusiastically.

"Well, aren't you all warm a fuzzy", you said sarcastically.

"Can I help you with something, because if not then please leave me be, I have things to do." You rolled your eyes. This was going to be harder than you thought.

"Mm, yeah, that seems real important", you say, pointing to the saber in his hand that he had been detaching and re- attaching the same piece on for the past minute. He gave you a look over his shoulder, but you ignored it continuing. "Anyway, I was hoping we could talk."

"About what?"

You crossed your arms. "You know what." He just continued his mindless fiddling, so you sighed and went on. "Look, I understand your feelings towards the clones, I even understand your feelings towards me, but if we're going to work together here then you need to put all that aside, even if it's just for the time being. Do you think you could do that?" You looked at him with a sympathetic, yet hopeful look.

"Put it aside, put it aside?" His voice had raised to where he was just short of yelling at you. "How do you suggest I do that, huh? Maybe to you the war was a long time ago, but to me it feels like it could've been yesterday. The pain is still fresh to me, I can't forget it or set it aside as I please, it's always there and it always will be. I can't just sit here and act like I'm okay when everything here reminds of that awful day, the day I lost my master, the one time she needed me most and I couldn't save her. How can I put it aside when every time I turn around here I see the faces that murdered her?” That was it, that was what tore the last piece of patience from you.

"ENOUGH!" He froze, obviously not expecting the amount of anger that now radiated off you in waves. "Listen, you son of a bitch, I've tried to be patient, I've tried to be understanding, hell, I tried to be genuinely nice to you, but clearly you don't respond to nice, so this is how it's gonna go." You grabbed him by the front of his shirt and brought his face only inches from yours. "You are going to buck the kriff up and get over your bantha shit until this is over, and if you hurt or disrespect my men again, you won't be leaving this planet intact, do I make myself clear?" You made sure to emphasize those last five words.

He looked at you, still shocked, for a moment before narrowing his eyes and giving you a bitter, "Yes Ma'am."

You instantly released your grip, letting him go. "Good, as long as we're on the same page, you can go back to your 'oh so important' work." You made you way back to the door but stopped just as your one foot passed the threshold. You turned slightly before saying in a low voice, "You know, you’re not the only one that lost people that day." You paused as so many faces flashed through your mind, all the friends you lost, even ones before the end of the war, all the faces that plagued your thoughts so often. "Survivor’s guilt is a hell of a thing, believe me, I know... we all know", and that's all you left him with before you quickly made your exit, desperately trying to keep the tears at bay, you weren't about to show him that kind of weakness in you, not when you had to stay strong, not when you had your family to protect.

You made your way to the front with the others, seeing Ezra and Sabine leaning on the rail, talking casually. Sabine was the first to notice you approaching. "Oh, hey General (Y/L/N)", she said, smiling as she turned to fully face you. Her smile quickly faded when she took in your expression. "Are you okay", she asked, her voice laced with genuine concern.

You stopped in front of her, finally looking up to meet her gaze. "Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah I'm alright", you replied, giving her a reassuring smile, hoping it was believable. "Oh, and you don't need to call me that. It's (Y/N). Not need for formalities with me, no matter what the boys say." She nodded, turning back to lean on the rail as you moved to stand between the two teens, copying their actions. "So, what were you two talking about before I interrupted", you asked, hoping that a casual conversation with some young bloods would help get your mind off of that upsetting talk you had only moments ago.

"Nothing much, just that you guys seem to have a pretty nice setup here, living the quiet life and all", Ezra said, gesturing toward the modified tank you were all currently on.

You chuckled. "I don’t know if quiet is the word I'd use, if there's one thing these boys are not, it’s quiet, but I get your meaning", you said, smiling at the young teen.

"It makes me wonder though." You turned at Sabine's words to look at the girl. "Wonder what", you asked.

"Well, I can see how this life is desirable for the clones, I mean I'm sure the war took its toll on everyone, but it must've even more so on them. So, a nice quiet life of isolation seems like a nice reprieve if anything else", she said, pausing to look at you, seeming to contemplate her next words before continuing her thought. "But you’re a jedi."

"And", you questioned, cocking an eyebrow.

"Well, all the jedi I know can't seem to stay in one place for very long, not unless there's a point to it anyway. Plus, if anyone should want the downfall of the empire, it should be the jedi. You guys were peacekeepers after all, and with the empire in control there hasn't been any true piece to be found. I don't know, I guess I just thought you'd be fighting with the rebellion, instead of hanging out here slinging for joopa with retired clone troopers." She looked at you with a confused expression.

You sighed before responding, "I get your logic, and you're right, if anyone deserves a quiet life away from all the violence out in the galaxy, it's the clones. We all went through it and it was bad for all of us, but they really got screwed more than any of us in my opinion. We at least had some semblance of a choice in the matter, but the clones, they were forced into a war they had nothing to do with, and not even a light at the end of the tunnel to work toward. Most clones had no idea what would happen to them after the war, or what they would do. If you ask me, these boys deserve much more than this 'quiet' life." You leant over the railing again, looking to the ground below. "You're right about the rest too. We were peacekeepers, at least, we were supposed to be, and I do want the empire to fall, but...", you paused, not sure why you were divulging so many of the thoughts you'd kept to yourself for so long, even during the war, you hadn't fully voiced your opinion on these topics with anyone but Rex, and that was only in confidence, in those precious moments when it was just the two of you, the world outside a distant thought as you held each other and talked throughout the night. These and other hard topics would come up now and then, but you'd never have thought that you'd be here telling those same thoughts to two teens who you'd only just met earlier that day. You realized it was because, for reasons unknown to you, you trusted them, and you guessed that was enough. "When the war ended, and the empire took power, I was lost. We all were", you continued. "Ahsoka, Rex, and I, we were together when it happened, and if it hadn't been for that, well, I don't know where I'd be right now. Maybe I would've joined the rebellion, if I had somehow been able to survive on my own. But that's not how things played out. I was able to keep those closest to me and then I had a decision to make. Join another fight and risk the one thing that gives my life purpose or keep them safe and away from the danger." You stood straight, looking to Sabine. "We all have a choice, and I made mine. I chose family, I chose him."

"Rex", she said, confident in her understanding of your words. You gave her a short nod, then looked away, staring at the empty landscape before you.

It remained silent for a moment until Ezra spoke up, wanting to voice the question that had been on his mind. "Rex said that he never betrayed his jedi, is that true?"

You smiled, turning your attention to Ezra now. "Yes, it's true. It wasn't easy though, those damn chips really did their jobs well. I had never seen him fight so hard against anything the way he did with that thing. Imagine fighting your own body and mind simultaneously because that's what he did, for us. He didn't want to hurt us, and his hesitation gave us the chance we needed to escape. I had never been more relieved than I was to see that damn thing removed from his head. I owe Ahsoka a lot for that, it was her quick thinking that saved him in the end. Well, her... and Fives", you said, a sad expression taking over your features as you thought of your fallen friend, and the sacrifice he made trying to save you all.

"Who's Fives", you heard Ezra ask from beside you.

"A good man, one of the best, who deserved better", you said somberly.

The silence that settled over the three of you was thick with conflicting emotions and full of unasked questions that you were sure would stay that way, which you were grateful for.

You almost jumped at the sound of the door sliding open behind you, turning around to see Rex coming though it towards the three of you. "I've assembled a list of potential bases and clearance codes and a few protocols the imperials still use. Should be of some use", he tells Ezra, who promptly thanked him. Sabine then went inside to collect some data tapes. Rex came to stand beside you. "So, what'd I miss out here", he asked, looking between you and Ezra.

"Oh, nothing much, just telling the kids some old war stories", you said, trying to make it sound as if it had been as simple as that.

"Oh yeah? Hope they were some of the good ones", he said, grinning at you.

"Were there any good ones, because I don't remember the war being all that fun." You hadn't even noticed Kanan enter the vicinity. You instantly frowned and crossed your arms, giving him a look that told him not to test you. He heeded the warning and turned away from you all, looking outward and shaking his head in disapproval, but he stayed silent.

"Actually, (Y/N) was telling us about what you did for her and Ahsoka, about how you saved them", Ezra interjected.

Rex scoffed at that. "If memory serves, it was the other way around. Without her and Commander Tano, I don't think I'd be standing here today", he said, looking back to you, his gaze turning to one of pure adoration. You couldn't help but smile back at him.

Ezra smiled, a knowing look in his eye. "So, I guess you were telling the truth after all. You didn't betray your jedi."

You both turned your attention back on the boy. "Nope. Even married one of 'em", he responded, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you flush against his side. “Best decision I ever made too.”

You sent a sideways grin his way. “Yeah, only took you forever to ask”, you said, finally dropping your arms to mimic his hold and wrap one around his waist.

He laughed, “Sorry cyar'ika. I would’ve asked sooner but we were in the middle of a war.”

“I know, I know”, you said, lifting your free hand to let it caress his cheek lightly before coming to rest your curved finger under his chin. “I just like messing with you”. Rex continued to grace you with a soft smile. But soon your quiet moment was ruined by someone’s loud scoffing, causing you to drop your hand and glare at the offender. “You have something to say, Ponytail”, you asked, your hand now going to your hip, your other staying securely around your husband, acting as your lifeline to sanity. You knew you shouldn’t let this guy rile you up, but you couldn’t help it, he was just so infuriatingly stubborn and took every chance he could to be rude.

“Yeah actually, I do have something to say…”, he started to say, but Ezra tried to intervene.

“Kanan, maybe you shouldn’t. They’re doing us a favor here remember. So maybe we should be, oh I don’t know, nice”, he said, giving his master an almost pleading look.

Kanan scoffed once more, crossing his arms over his chest. “Nice, you want me to be nice? I don’t know Ezra, it’s kind of hard to be nice to someone who not only chooses clones over her own people, but then come to find she broke her code to have a relationship with one of them. Then to top it all off, she goes off to conspire with the traitors”, he said, raising his voice.

You let go of Rex to cross your arms as well, but feeling the rage start to build in you Rex kept his hold on you, knowing if he didn’t this might turn into an all-out fist fight, or worse. “My people huh? Well, I don’t know how things were for you in the order, but let’s just say that by the end of the war, my faith in the jedi was heavily skewed. I couldn’t trust the order anymore, not like I used to. The only people I could truly trust were my friends and my men, and most times they were one in the same. I know you have a chip on your shoulder when it comes to clones, and, as I said before, I get it. However, I can tell you something with absolute certainty, and that is that my husband is no traitor. Rex is a good man, and loyal as hell. For as long as I’ve known him, never once has my faith in him been shaken, not even on that day. He would’ve laid his life down to save Ahsoka and I, damn near did too, just like countless times before. So many of those men risked their lives for me and the other jedi over the course of the war, and I can never thank them enough for that. I knew my men, and they never would’ve turned on us unless they were forced to. It was out of their control, and I can never hold hatred in my heart for them because of it.” You lowered your arms to rest at your sides, deciding you didn’t want to start another fight, and sighed. “Look, I know I can’t tell you how to feel, and I know you’re angry and still grieving. I also know that, that pain will never truly go away.” You see his angry expression falter a bit at your words, his arms releasing a small amount of tension. “I’m sorry about your master, but don’t let her death shape your feelings towards everything that reminds you of it. Don’t let your feelings blind you from the truth.”

He looked you square on the eye then. “How do you know you aren’t letting your feelings blind you from the truth”, he asked bitterly.

You gave this some thought before answering. Meeting his eyes, you said, “Because, at the end of the day, I never let those feelings control my actions. I could love Rex and still do my duty and so could he.” You gestured to Rex, who was now watching you as you spoke. “We never let our relationship get in the way of our responsibilities.”

“She’s right”, Rex spoke up, finally taking his eyes from you to direct his words to Kanan. “Even though it might’ve been hard sometimes, we never let anything keep us from dutifully serving the republic. We had agreed in the very beginning, nothing would sway us from playing our parts in the war, not even our love for each other.” He looked to you with a solemn expression, and you knew he was reliving the same memories that you were in that moment. Remembering all the times you two had parted ways, off on your own missions, saying a bitter goodbye, not knowing if it would be your last.

You were snapped out of your memories when Kanan finally spoke, “That… that must’ve been tough.” You both looked back to him but kept silent so he could finish. “Living day in and day out, with that fear of not knowing what day might be your last was something I think we all felt during the war, and that was hard to cope with at times. But to have that and feel that same fear for another person at the same time… that couldn’t have been easy, and I can tell you that to an extent, I understand how that is now. You never know what’s coming, and you can only hope that the person you care for survives it all, because if they don’t… well, you don’t know what you’ll do.” Kanan’s eyes were cast to the ground beneath him, a sullen look adorning his features.

Ezra stared at his master with a sad but understanding look. Clearly, he knew of who Kanan was referring to, you thought.

After letting a thick silence fill the area around you all for some time, you finally decided it was time to try and end this squabble, for real this time. You cleared your throat. “So… can we come to a truce then”, you asked, stepping from Rex’s hold and moving toward Kanan, holding out your hand for him to shake. He eyed it for a moment, then looked up to meet your eyes. You gave him a hopeful lopsided grin and a little shrug. Come on, what do you have to lose.

He slowly extended his hand, grabbing yours in a firm handshake. “Okay, truce, but I’m still going to be keeping a close eye on you all while we’re here”, he said with a serious tone before he gave you a small grin.

You let out a light huff of laughter and said, “I’d be surprised if you didn’t.” You released his hand and made your way back into your husbands waiting arms. You gave each other a quick hug before turning back to face Ezra who was now smiling at the two of you. “Well, I’m glad that’s settled. So, can we all be friends now”, he asked, making all three of you chuckle.

Suddenly the door next to you slid open and Sabine emerged looking upset, waving a holopad in the air. You were about to ask her what was wrong, but she spoke first. “The clones gave us up. They warned the Empire we’re here”, she said in a huff.

“Wait what”, Ezra asked, shocked.

“You’re mistaken. We would never do that”, Rex said, reaching for the holopad, clearly confused.

Sabine snatched it away from his grasp. “I found the binary transmission to the Empire”, she said, pointing to the screen in her hand, “and there are messages Ahsoka sent to Rex and (Y/N) that they never answered.”

“What”, you and Rex said simultaneously.

“We never got any messages from Ahsoka”, you stated, peering to look at the screen of the holopad that Sabine had handed over to Rex.

“See I knew it, I knew they couldn’t be trusted”, Kanan said, walking toward Rex, pointing accusatively.

“Kanan wait”, Ezra said, holding a hand up to stop the man’s approach. He then turned to face you, Rex, and Wolffe, who had just joined you, and asked, “Is this true?”

Rex just stared at the screen for a few seconds before you saw a flash of realization light in his eyes. He then turned to the man behind you. “Wolffe, what did you do”, he asked, not sounding too happy. You turned around to look at Wolffe, who now had his back turned to you all.

“I…I contacted the Empire. If they found out we were helping jedi they’d wipe us out”, he said, still with his back to you.

“Wolffe how could you”, you asked, not being able to fully hide the hurt from your voice.

Wolffe turned to face you with a saddened expression, your voice clearly working on his emotions. “I… I’m sorry, I didn’t… I just… I’m sorry”, he said, looking to his feet shamefully.

You could hear Kanan speaking behind you, but you weren’t paying attention to what was being said, too focused on wrapping your head around why your friend would do this.

“Why Wolffe, why would you put us at risk like this”, you asked.

“I… I just wanted to protect us, they’d kill us if they knew we were harboring jedi”, he said, looking back up at you.

“Hello, you’ve been harboring a jedi for years now, why is this any different?”

“No, you’re not, I mean, you haven’t been a jedi in a long time, if anything your one of us now.”

“The Empire won’t see it that way”, you said, looking at him with a disappointed frown. “So, what was your plan exactly, call the Empire and let them capture the jedi, do who knows what to them? Were you gonna let them take me too?”

His eyes went wide, and he looked right into yours. “No! No, I would never let them hurt you, we would never let them hurt you. You’re family, aliit. I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking straight, I know that now. Please forgive me (Y/N)”, he said, looking at you like a dejected puppy. You knew you couldn’t stay mad at him for long, especially since it clearly was a mistake on his part, and not a totally conscious one. Wolffe struggled with things like this sometimes, forgot who was truly responsible for all that happened, and wasn’t always sure of who he could trust. The only exceptions being his brothers and you. He knew he could always trust his family. This is why you found it hard to continue to be upset with him, so instead you gave in with a heavy sigh and wrapped your arms around him in a hug. He responded by hugging you back, whispering another shame filled apology.

“I know, I forgive you Wolffe”, you say before pulling away to look him in the eye, “but you have to make this right. These people are not the enemy, they’re our allies, and we have to protect them too.”

He searched your eyes for a moment, and in seeing your resolve gave you a tight nod, confirming that he’d found his own.

***

As it turned out, fixing Wolffe’s mistake wasn’t going to be as easy as you had thought. Unbeknownst to you, there had been a probe droid on board watching you all, for how long you weren’t sure, but it managed to damage the Phantom’s engine, which meant your new friends were stuck with you all for the time being, something you could tell didn’t make Kanan to happy. Rex had managed to destroy the probe, but the Empire was still on its way, and all you could do was prepare for the inevitable fight that was to come.

Everything happened quite suddenly, and before you knew it the Empire had arrived. They were using some new contraptions that neither you nor the clones had ever seen before, the others called them “walkers”. While impressed, the boys quickly stopped their analysis of the machines and came up with a plan. Retreat into the sandstorm that was brewing behind you to scramble their scanners and use the jedis’ force sight to maneuver your way out. This worked, but the imperials were soon gaining on your position once more. Once you exited the storm Rex instructed the others to leave, with the walkers still in the storm this was their only chance to escape back to their ship without being shot down. Most of them were on board with this plan, but Ezra didn’t want to leave you all behind.

“We can’t just abandon them”, Ezra said, still trying to convince Kanan to let them help you.

“You’re not abandoning anyone. We’re covering your escape. Now go”, Rex said in a commanding tone. He then turned to you and in a softer, but still authoritative voice said, “(Y/N), I want you to go with them.”

“What”, you asked incredulously. “No way.”

Rex sighed and took your hands in his. “Please cyare, those things are going to overrun us, and I don’t want you to be here when they do. I want you to escape with them, I want you to be safe”, he said, his eyes pleading with you to listen, just this once, but you wouldn’t have it.

“No Rex. If you’re going to fight, then so am I, and if this is where it ends, then I’m going to be right here beside you”, you tell him, releasing yourself from his grasp in order to bring your hands to cup his face, bringing his forehead to meet yours. Your eyes close as you say your next words. “If we’re going to die, then we’re going to do it like we’ve done everything else, together.”

You hear Rex sigh once more and you open your eyes to look at him. A small grin starts at the corner of his mouth, “You’re so stubborn, you know that?”

You chuckled lightly. “Yes, I am, and that’s why you love me”, you said, raising an eyebrow and giving a cocky grin. He shook his head at you, but relented, knowing full well he was not going to win this argument.

You both looked back to Ezra who still stood at the entryway of the Phantom, looking sadder than you’d seen him yet. You frowned and walked over to him, placing your hands atop the boy’s shoulders and bending down so you were at eye level. “Hey, it’s okay, we’ll be alright. We have each other’s backs, and that’s all we’ve ever really needed. Besides, we’ve faced worse than this”, you say, trying to reassure him.

“It’s just…”, he started, but you cut him off with a light shake of his shoulders.

“Come on, you gotta focus here. The most important thing for you to do right now is get out of here and get that information back to the rebellion, got it?” He nodded and looked to his feet. You hooked a finger under his chin and brought it up so he would look at you. “You did great out there you know, keep that up and you’ll make one hell of a jedi someday”, you said with an encouraging smile. He gave you a sad smile back before suddenly launching toward you, catching you in a tight hug. You were surprised at first, but soon hugged him back, smiling at the gesture. You had never had any kids of your own, but you thought that this might be close to how motherhood would feel. You had just met this kid, but you were already very proud of him and the actions he had displayed over the time he’d been with you, and although you were sad to see him go you knew he’d be alright, and that brought you an unexpected sense of comfort. A few moments later you finally pulled away, smiling as you told him, “Now go.”

Ezra nodded again, this time a little more confidently, and backed into the starfighter. You moved, walking backwards, stopping to stand next to Rex as you watched them take off. Once they were airborne you turned to your husband with a knowing grin. “So, do we have an actual plan for taking those things down, or are we just winging it”, you asked.

He chuckled. “Well, unless you have any last-minute ideas, I think winging it is our only option”, he said, shrugging.

“Good”, you said, placing your hands on your hips, “Because that was my idea.” He laughed at your sudden perkiness, it reminded him of the old days when you two would exchange snarky comments in the heat of battle, it made the terrors on the battlefield a little easier to deal with and often helped to temporarily relieve his stress. “Now, let’s get to work”, you said and began to walk to the front of the tank. Before you could get more than two steps away you felt a tug on your wrist and were suddenly pulled against Rex’s chest. You looked up at him, a slightly surprised look on your face. He smiled and brought a hand to the back of your neck, bringing you into a deep, passionate kiss, which you immediately melted into, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him in even more. You knew this fight would most likely be your last and it was clear he was thinking the same, so you decided to make this moment last, and just marvel in the love that was held there between you. After a few seconds, that were much too short for your liking, you both pulled away but still held onto one another, foreheads lightly touching, for a while longer.

“Whatever happens, I just want you to know that you’re the best thing to ever happen to me. I’m glad I chose love over following the rules, I’m glad I chose you”, Rex said, cutting the silence that had built between you two.

You smiled at his confession, “I’m glad I chose you too Rex. I love you.”

“And I love you (Y/N).” You slowly released one another and shared one more loving glance before you each were heading off to your stations to prepare for the fight that was about to ensue.

You went to stand at the front of the tank, detaching your sabers from your hips and holding them, still deactivated, at your sides while Rex manned the cannon. “Wolffe, bring us around”, you heard him yell to his fellow trooper. The tank began to turn, changing its direction to head straight for the walkers now in front of you.

As you made your approach the walkers began blasting the tank. You blocked a few shots with your sabers but weren’t able to deflect them all since they were shooting from two separate angles. One blast had the tank faltering and falling in the front, causing you to have to hold on to the railing in front of you so as not to fall. You looked behind you to the trooper driving the huge machine. “Wolffe, get us level”, you yelled to him.

“Yes General”, he said firmly. He then pulled the levers in his hands toward him and upwards, causing the tank to begin to lift in the front before finally being back on its feet once more. You took your defensive stance up again once you were able to get your footing. You were coming up quickly on the walkers and were desperately trying to come up with a crazy plan to take them out, if memory served you the craziest plans always seemed to be the most effective. You were halfway through your thinking when you heard Wolffe shout from behind you. “I’m going for the legs, all four of them.”

You turned to him with an incredulous look. “Are you crazy, there’s no way that’ll work”, you said, raising your voice over the commotion surrounding you.

“Never know until we try”, he responded.

You were about to argue against the idea until you remembered your previous thought. It was a crazy idea, so it just might work. You jump to the position right above him, looking down through the glass. “Alright then, have at it Commander”, you told him encouragingly.

He nodded and pushed forward, ramming the tank into the walker ahead. It seemed to be working, until it wasn’t, the tank now with its front legs halfway up the walker’s. You were almost sure that you would all be turned upside down any minute. You thought fast. You did have one plan, maybe impossible given your lack of practice over the years, but it was worth a shot. However, before you could put your plan into action you heard Rex shouting from somewhere behind you. “Come out and fight, you cowards”, he yelled to the men in the walker. He was standing on top of the cannon, and right in the line of fire. You cursed at him internally before leaping toward him, landing right in front of him, sabers ready to block the inevitable blast. Although, it never came. Before they could retaliate, the walker was shot from the side, throwing it off balance enough to distract them from their attack. You looked to see the Phantom fly under it and make its way to the second walker, you then saw Ezra, Kanan, and Zeb jump from the starfighter and land on its head before using their sabers to cut the hatch off and enter the machine. You grinned, and before you could voice the thought, Rex did it for you. “Just like the old days”, he said.

You turned, still grinning, to look at him. “Speaking of…”, you didn’t finish before running up the barrel of the cannon, replacing your sabers on your hips along the way.

“Wait, what are you doing”, he asked, concerned.

“Can’t let them show me up now can I”, you asked him, sending a playful wink over your shoulder. You used your higher position to launch yourself upward toward the first walker and was able to grab onto one of the blasters on the side of its head. You then swung yourself toward the top, landing much more gracefully than you’d expected to. You then drew your sabers and repeated the actions of the other two force-wielders, cutting a hole in the head and jumping down into it. You took your attack stance as soon as you were in, but when you looked around there was no one there. Walking to the control panel, you looked out to see the scene below and a movement from your right caught your eye. It was the imperials that had been manning the very walker you were in now; they had evacuated and were now fleeing on a speeder bike. “Huh, they really are cowards”, you said out loud to yourself.

Rex was below, now back in his seat behind the cannon. He was waiting to take the shot until he knew you were out. He wasn’t about to take that risk and was about to call the whole idea off when he saw something shoot out the head of the walker. He squinted to see better and nearly jumped out of his seat when you landed on the barrel of the cannon, giving a little mischievous grin when you noticed you’d startled him.

Rex shook his head. “So, did ya get ‘em”, he asked, eyebrow cocked and grinning back.

You jumped down, coming to stand next to him. “Nah, those hut’unns turned tail before I could even get to them. Took off that way”, you said, pointing in the direction you saw the speeder go.

“Oh, well then I guess there’s no need to blast this thing then”, he said, gesturing to the walker, “and just when we got the power restored, ah well.” You could see the slight disappointment on his face.

“You could still blast it you know”, you told him.

“To what purpose, they’re already gone.”

You laid a hand on his shoulder. “For no other purpose then the satisfaction of seeing this hunk of junk fall”, you said with a smile.

He grinned at you. “Have I told you how much I love you lately”, he asked.

You bent down so your face was next to his. “Yeah, but it’s always nice to hear it anyway”, you said, giving him a quick peck on the cheek before straightening and standing behind him.

Rex took the shot and you all watched as the walker fell to the ground. “You were right, that was satisfying.”

***

You and Rex had decided to leave the quiet life behind for now and join the rebellion, after a bit of convincing from Ezra and Sabine that is. You had said your goodbyes to Wolffe and Gregor before you left.

“So, I guess this is goodbye then”, Wolffe said, looking a bit downcast.

You laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. “For now, but we’ll all see each other again”, you said, giving him a reassuring smile.

He gave a breathy chuckle. “Did the force tell you that”, he asked sarcastically. He always loved messing with you like that.

You rolled your eyes. “No, but it didn’t need to, I just know. Besides, you guys can’t get rid of us that easily”, you said smirking at them.

Gregor came to stand beside you draping an arm over your shoulders. “Well good, because we don’t want to”, he said, smiling wide. You laughed. Gregor was always the one to lighten the mood, always the chipper one, and so damn optimistic that it almost annoyed you sometimes, but you had to love him for it. You loved all your boys for who they were and for what made them unique, this affection only grew after the war when you all decided to live together in seclusion, and you got to know them better.

During the war it always seemed like there wasn’t enough time to properly get to know all your men, especially the ones outside of the 501st, who you’d been more often affiliated with. However, on the rare occasions where you did work outside of your Legion you tried to widen your friend group, meeting other troopers and their commanding officers, befriending all who would have you. As a jedi you knew this wasn’t advised seeing as you were not to form attachments and all, but at the time you really didn’t care, still didn’t in fact, and looking back you were glad you hadn’t. You knew that throughout the war you would lose many of these friends, and it wouldn’t be easy, but you had accepted that and would take it in stride as it came, because in the end you knew that these friendships would do more good than hurt. Sometimes, a lot of times, all these men needed was a good friend, an ear to listen to the chaos within their minds after hard battles, and on occasion even a shoulder to cry on. You were willing to be all these things for them and did it with as much grace and kindness as you could. It was due to this that it was so easy for Wolffe and Gregor to trust you after the war. Even with their chips removed, they were still confused for a long while, not knowing who to trust but each other, but with you they found it to be much easier, remembering all the times you had been there for them and their men and knowing you would never do anything to betray their trust. Yes, you loved your newfound family, and you’d do anything to keep them safe, which is why you’d finally agreed to join the fight to take down the Empire, it was the only way to make sure they’d never come after your men again. Although, it was still hard to say goodbye.

You looked between the two men, an almost sad smile forming on your face and before you could even think you’d brought them both into a tight hug, one which they returned in kind. “Just don’t do anything too reckless while we’re gone, okay”, you requested, pulling back with a kind smile and wiping the tear that had fallen down your cheek away with your fingertips.

“We’ll do our best General”, Gregor stated with a nod. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes at him for addressing you by rank, you weren’t going to argue, not now.

Rex came to stand beside you, facing his brothers. “You both did excellent work today, I have no doubt you’ll handle yourselves in whatever is to come, but let’s hope you won’t have to”, he said with a grin, clapping them both on the shoulder.

“Well, if you ever need us, you know where to reach us”, Wolffe said, clamping his hand over Rex’s forearm, a gesture you had seen exchanged from brother to brother many times before, and it brought a warm feeling to your chest every time. Rex nodded before releasing them and bringing an arm to wrap around your waist, its constant home over the years. “You two stay safe alright? I don’t want to have to find replacements for you, not that there even is such a thing”, Wolffe said with a sideways grin.

You smiled at this and then straightened your posture, giving your men a formal salute and holding it, Rex following suit, standing in the same position beside you. The two commanders returned the salute. After a moment you relaxed and returned to a normal standing position, everyone else doing the same. “Until we see each other again”, you said.

“Until we see each other again”, the two men echoed your words simultaneously.

***

You had docked the rebel ship and were following the Ghost crew down the brightly lit hallways before turning a corner and coming to a stop. You knew before they parted to let you both pass who would be standing on the other side, you had felt her familiar force signature as soon as you had boarded.

Rex stepped forward first, walking toward the smiling togruta. “Commander”, he addressed his old friend. “You got old.”

Ahsoka chuckled. “Had to happen sometime Rex”, she replied. She looked hesitant for a moment before embracing him in a tight hug.

You watched the interaction between the two, smiling to yourself, realizing just how long it had been since you had seen your friend, it felt like ages now. As you were in this train of thought Ahsoka pulled back from the embrace and suddenly looked over his shoulder, something catching her eye. “(Y/N)”, she said, it almost came out as a sigh.

Ahsoka walked to you and pulled you into a tight embrace as well, which you happily returned. “Hey Ahsoka, it’s been a while”, you said with a laugh.

Releasing each other from the hug, you both looked at one another. “I think that’s a bit of an understatement”, she responded, giving a light laugh of her own before the two of you turned to Rex.

“We’re just glad you’re still alive”, he said to her. You put a hand on her shoulder, giving a confirming nod.

“You too”, she said, looking between you and Rex.

“Well, we wouldn’t be if it weren’t for these guys”, Rex stated, gesturing to the crew behind you.

“Thank you for trusting my friend”, Ahsoka said, seeming to direct her thanks mainly to Kanan, who was surprisingly much less angry than you last remember sensing.

“It wasn’t easy”, Kanan confessed to her, “It still isn’t.”

You and Rex shared a saddened glance and you silently wondered if Kanan would ever come around, but you also made the decision to try not and push the topic, not now at least.

“Nothing worth doing ever is”, Ahsoka told him, and with that you all walked to the command center, for a rebellion is not built on pleasantries.

***

After a brief discussion of the next course of action, you had been dismissed to settle in, and were led to the room that you and your husband would be sharing for the time being. Before you could even sit down there was a knock at the door and you were surprised to find it was Sabine, asking to borrow you for a little while. You had agreed, albeit a bit hesitantly, wondering what the young girl could possibly need you for, especially with that excited glint in her eye. You shrugged at your confused spouse before following her out of the room.

Awhile later you returned, quite pleased with the outcome of your little surprise endeavor with the Mandalorian girl, who was very happy with herself when all was said and done. You entered your shared quarters and stopped just after entering, letting the door slide shut behind you. This got Rex’s attention and he turned to you from where he was seated, his smile dropping as soon as he properly laid eyes on you, his features morphing into a look of shocked admiration, and quickly closed his mouth that had opened in a slight gape.

He blinked a few times before finally speaking. “Cyar’ika you look…”, he started to say, but found he couldn’t think of the proper word to articulate what he was thinking at the moment.

You smiled. “You like it”, you asked, bringing your hands up to touch your hair, which was now styled in a way that complemented the shape of your face perfectly and now sported dyed blue tips. Sabine had also given you a fresh pair of clothes that she thought would fit you nicely. They did fit, even though they were a bit tighter than you would’ve liked, and the cut on the long-sleeved top was a bit lower than you were used to, but it was still high enough for you to consider it conservative, well conservative enough. Although, with the way your husband was staring at you now, you were grateful for these aspects, seeing just how much he was appreciating the way the outfit hugged your curves by the way his eyes scanned you from head to foot.

He stood and walked the short distance to you, taking your hands in his. “Like it? I love it, you look absolutely stunning, downright delectable even”, he said with a wicked grin.

You smacked his chest lightly, shaking your head. “And here I thought I married and gentleman”, you said, not being able to hide the grin that was forming.

“Oh, you did, it’s just that you have this incredible talent of pushing me to my limit at times, especially when you come in looking like this”, he said, eyeing you up again.

You blushed under his gaze. “Well, at least I know I’ve still got it”, you said, giving him a playful smirk.

He suddenly pulled you to his chest, wrapping his arms around your waist to keep you secure against him, your faces only inches apart now. “Cyare, you never lost it”, he said cocking an eyebrow as he continued to grin at you, and with that you pulled him into a loving kiss, one that he quickly leaned into and deepened.

You pulled away after a bit to make eye contact once more. Rex released one of his arms from around you to bring his hand up to your hair, lightly playing with the tips between his fingers. “I like the hair too, always did think this color suited you.”

You gave a slight shrug. “You know me, always more than willing to support my boys in blue.”

You both shared a small laugh before catching each other’s lips in another kiss, this one a bit more tender than the last.

“So is this a bad time to talk about how I might be wishing we'd rethought our decision about not having kids”, he asked in a low voice once you two parted from the kiss.

You blinked, surprised by the sudden shift in topics. “Umm, alright, what brought this on”, you asked.

He looked to the hand that was still playing with your hair, not wanting to make direct eye contact as he spoke his next words. “Well, it's just that, seeing you with Ezra earlier today, it made me realize, you'd make a great mother, and I almost feel like we've missed out on something special, and this isn’t exactly the first time the thought has crossed my mind. I’ve always wondered if we were making the right call not having a child of our own, but you seemed happy with our life together and I didn’t want you to ever feel pressured, I wanted it to be your choice, I still do.”

“Rex are you trying to tell me you want to have children”, you asked.

“Maybe, but not if you don’t, I mean… do you”, he asked, a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

“Well, I won't say I've never thought about it, especially in the early years of our relationship. I'd often wonder what it would be like to have a little version of you running around."

“Or you”, he said with a smile.

You smile. “I guess it would be nice to have an addition to the family, and I'm sure the boys would make great uncles. Well, maybe with some supervision”, you say, chuckling out that last part.

“Really”, he asked, clearly a bit surprised by your response.

“Rex, I know I won't be able to keep you for as long as I'd like, I accepted that reality a long time ago”, you said, sliding your palm against his causing him to let go of the piece of hair he was still holding and intertwining your fingers with his, “but maybe if I have something of you left after, something we created together, then maybe I'll be able to continue on because I'll still be living for you, or at least a part of you." You were desperately trying to keep the tears you felt building behind your eyes from making their way out. You hated thinking about this, your husband’s shortened life span was never a topic you wanted to think about for too long, it was a reality you did not care to observe in your everyday life, but reality it was, and you knew someday you would have to face it. Just not today.

He pulled you closer with the arm still around your waist. “Oh Cyar'ika, I love you so much”, he said, kissing your forehead.

“And I love you, with all my heart.”

“So, we're really doing this then?”

You giggled at his noticeable excitement. “Yes, we're really doing this”, you confirmed. He then let go of your hand and cupped your cheek, pulling you into a kiss so full of love it nearly took the breath right out of you. You laughed once you managed to pull away again, trying to get your next thought out. “We can start trying when we have some time to ourselves.”

“We have time now”, he said, swiftly moving his hands to firmly grip your hips and pull you flush against him. Your senses left you for a second, heat rushing to your face and chest at the implication, before you were able to compose yourself.

You chuckled, coming back to your senses. “Actually, we don't. We've been asked to help pick the location for the rebel base. They figured since we were the ones to give the intel that we'd be able to find the safest place. I'm sure they've already started reviewing the list, so we'd better get going”, you said, a bit annoyed at the fact, there were much better things you could be doing, but you did promise to do whatever you could to help in this rebellion. Damn, why’d you always have to be the responsible one?

Rex broke you from your inner ramblings with another heated kiss that had you weak in the knees. “Alright fine, but tonight you're all mine”, he said against your lips.

“Deal. Now let's go, we're late”, you said, still smiling like a lovesick teenager and reluctantly pulling away from his embrace, which he did not want to make easy, but eventually gave in and released you.

As you made your way to the door, trying to compose yourself once again, he spoke. “Hopefully soon you'll be the one who’s late”, he said, taking you by surprise yet again.

You turned and raised an eyebrow at him and jokingly asked, “Okay, who are you, and where is the Rex I married?”

He laughed, coming to stand in front of you and leaning in slightly. “What can I say cyar’ika, you’ve made me bold”, he said, giving you a mischievous smile.

You shake your head and opened the door, taking him by the hand and leading him out into the corridor. “Alright, alright. Come on Stud, we have to go”, you said and began making your way to the bridge of the ship, “and save the dirty talk for tonight okay?” You grinned at him over your shoulder, continuing to pull him along.

He smiled and quickened his stride to walk alongside you, lacing his fingers with yours. “Yes Ma’am”, he responded softly.

You couldn’t seem to keep the smile off your face, for several reasons. The main two being that you knew you had quite the night ahead of you, thank the force for the private quarters, and you were thrilled at the idea of having Rex’s child. You weren’t sure what this new future would hold for the both of you, but you were ready to find out.

[nanagoswife]

Une Danse d'Amour Inconscient

A request by @generousrunawaydonut

Summary: You and Obi-Wan are forced to go undercover as a couple and he can no longer hide how he feels.

W/C: 3.3k

Warnings: Mention of alcohol, angst, mainly fluff

A/N: Title translation (from French): A Dance of Unconscious Love

No I didn't use French because I'm Canadian (okay maybe a little because I was forced to learn it). Either way, this was a fun request to write. I may write a different version of this, but I'm not quite sure. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy (sorry if there's some rough areas)

- - -

If he were to say that he wasn’t nervous for the night ahead, he’d be lying. Usually, a mission like this wouldn’t be a problem. He was to go undercover and attend a Republic Senate gathering.

Going under cover wasn’t usually necessary, but there was a life at stake. Your life. Then, there was the way the two of you had to do this.

You were known as one of the most well-spoken senators in the whole of the Republic. It wasn’t a shock with how both you and the senator from Naboo got along. The two of you were a united front on every issue that was addressed.

That was what you were going to do, but you were a target tonight. Obi-Wan had been assigned to protect you during this event with one condition that bothered both of you in different ways. For you, the problem was that you had to be undercover. Sure, your fellow senators will know it’s you, but you needed to not draw attention tonight in your planet’s usual fashion. So, you went to Padmé.

For Obi-Wan, his issue was far different. He had known you for years and the two of you were close friends. There had been many assignments that included him having to protect you. Through these years, though, he grew to care for you more than just a friend. He was hopelessly in love with you.

Every moment with you, he felt like he was going to implode while on the outside he betrayed none of these feelings. He was only able to keep it to himself because there was no way you felt the same about him. At least he convinced himself you didn’t.

What made him nervous for the night was that, just for tonight, you had to act like you were a couple. There was so much about this that Obi-Wan was anxious about. This night could either make or break him, and he was really leaning towards the latter.

Now, he was outside of your door. Well, he was outside of Senator Amidala’s door. Either way, he felt like an idiot as he was dressed in an all black suit. The collar on his black dress shirt was a strange sensation as it rubbed along his neck, only being tightened by the bowtie underneath. He would’ve loosened it if Ahsoka hadn’t chastised him ten times for doing it before he left the temple.

Finally, taking a deep breath and pulling himself together, he knocked on the door. It didn’t take long until the door slid open. His breath hitched when he saw you. If his heart wasn’t racing before, it sure was now.

You were absolutely beautiful in the subtle but oh so elegant lavender Naboo dress. It flowed around you and he never thought you could look even more beautiful than you already were. This was not going to be an easy night for him.

For a moment, he caught a glance of Padmé who tried to hide her chuckle at his reaction. She knew him so well that, even though he hadn’t said anything to her, she knew how he felt about you. Padmé winked before going back to her own process of getting ready.

When your eyes met him, he saw as your eyes went wide. You never saw him in any clothing that wasn’t his robes or cloaks. This was something that shocked you, but there was something that was more appealing. You thought he looked more handsome than you already thought he was. His eyes seemed to be a more vibrant blue that you absolutely adored.

After he watched you survey his, well, disguise, you met his eyes and smiled. “Good evening, Master Kenobi.”

“G-Good evening, Senator Y/L/N.” His words almost caught in his throat when he replied. Where did his composure that he had worked on for so long go? He couldn’t help it as he looked into your stunning eyes.

“Senator Amidala is just finishing up. Would you like to come in for the meantime?”

“Of course.” When you turned around, he took the moment to take a few deep breaths before following. He could do this. Tonight was no different than any other day he’s spent with you. He was here to protect you and make sure that you can do your job without the usual attention from the crowd.

Before he could fully step through the door, Padmé piped up, “Oh there’s no need for you to wait for me. Master Skywalker will be here soon to escort me.”

That sentence would have bothered Obi-Wan had he not felt the way he did about you. How could he tell his padawan not to do something that he was failing to do himself?

Then, he pulled himself together again. He couldn’t let his feelings be known. It was against The Code. They were unrequited. The only love you had for him was one of a friend. One that was platonic. He was sure of it.

With that, he enabled himself to clear his mind from all of this before offering you his arm. You were a friend. A friend that, when you slipped your arm through his, brought a sensation that he wished could be a normality.

When the door had closed and the two of you made your way to the speeder that was waiting, you squeezed his arm and smiled as you looked up.

“You look great, Obi.”

“I could say the same about you, my dear. You should’ve been born on Naboo,” he said in a teasing tone to hide his true meaning.

“Are you ready to be my boyfriend for the night?” you asked with a sweet chuckle. Although he returned it with his own chuckle, his heart was threatening to sink. This was one of many instances that only further backed up his feeling that you thought of him as nothing more than a friend.

“We better start now,” he said before giving in and pressing a kiss to your temple, “in case people are already watching.”

The feeling of his lips on your skin lingered. All you could do was wish that he would do that again and again, making his way until his lips met your own. But that would never happen. He was a Jedi and he wasn’t allowed to have attachments. Besides, you were sure he wouldn’t love you in that way anyways.

Obi-Wan didn’t see the redness fill your cheeks as the two of you reached the speeder. He opened the door for you and helped you step in before closing the door.

The speeder ride over to your destination was filled with your usual conversation. It helped both of you to forget about your feelings for a bit. When you had landed, he once again came around and opened the door for you to step out.

Thanking him, he offered you his arm again. “Shall we begin the charade?”

With a smile that hid the feeling of sadness that flowed through you, you nodded and once again looped your arm through his. It was a comfort you never knew you needed until now.

The walk to the event room was silent as the two of you prepared yourselves. Obi-Wan was now hoping that people wouldn’t be too quick to notice you. This night was about being discreet. Anybody you would talk to tonight would know the situation. The only reason Obi-Wan was acting as your boyfriend tonight was another thing to throw people off. It was a well known fact that you weren’t romantically involved.

Once in the room, he was relieved no one took their usual notice to your arrival.

Leaning close to your ear, letting his lips just graze it, he whispered, “Are you ready?” Although this was just for show, the intimacy made you have to repress the shivers that threatened to go down your spine. Obi-Wan enjoyed the closeness, and pressed a kiss to your cheek before you nodded your affirmation.

With that, the two of you joined the crowd of people that were spread out in the room. It didn’t take long for you to start going to work. There was a new bill that was to be passed in the senate in a few days, and you were making headway. Almost everyone you talked to walked away, promising you their vote.

This only picked up once Padmé joined in not long after. It was an honour for Obi-Wan to see into your process. The majority of the time, to continue playing it up, he had an arm around your waist. He didn’t really listen to anything said, but he did memorize the determined and genuine expression on your face as you and your friend talked to one senator after another.

Eventually, Obi-Wan had to separate from you. He needed a drink, but you were still in a conversation. Anakin was nearby and he told his old master that everything would be alright while he was gone.

So, Obi-Wan was leaning against the bar. There was so much running through his mind, but he couldn’t help but love what tonight has been like. He was showing you how he really felt without you knowing it. If he were being honest, he was surprised that you didn’t question how open he was for showing the moments of affection. Tonight, he felt like the two of you really were a couple and it wasn’t frowned upon. This is what felt natural.

Bringing his glass to his lips, he smiled at the thought. He knew that you didn’t love him like he did you, but, if this was all he could get, he would take it.

“Is being away from me that relieving?” you asked from beside him, slightly startling him at the same time. He was so deep in thought that he hadn’t noticed you even approaching. Yet, he smiled as he met your eyes.

“On the contrary, my dear. I was relishing in the thought of your many victories of the night.”

He raised his eyebrows playfully and you couldn’t help but chuckle. The sound was always music to his ears. There was no sound more wonderful and comforting.

“Speaking of which, did you manage to snag another one?”

Your smile slightly faded as you looked down. “Unfortunately, no. No matter how much I tried to make him see from multiple points of views, he was too rooted in his own.”

“I’m sorry, darling.” The endearment made your smile reappear.

“Either way, we have plenty of votes and so many others have set out on helping our campaign. Padmé said it was time for a break, so she went off with Anakin and I came to find you.” The tone of your voice was supposed to be slightly teasing, but it didn’t come out like that.

Obi-Wan didn’t notice. He didn’t notice because it was something he was inexperienced with. The hints that so many others would pick up in an instant were foreign to the man you were hopelessly in love with. Out of the entire galaxy, you had to go and fall in love with the man you were sure wouldn’t love you back. Or, at least, wasn’t allowed to love you back.

Instead of meeting one another’s eyes, you both looked out at the dance floor. You both caught sight of the Naboo senator and Obi-Wan’s former padawan. The two of them seemed to be in deep conversation as they danced together. Watching the two of them, there was no doubt that they were deeply in love with the other. It was something that you constantly had to talk Obi-Wan through so that he didn’t say something wrong.

Looking out at them was actually sweet. Padmé had confessed her love for Anakin to you. She even pointed out how you and Obi-Wan had seemed close as well. That conversation led to empty bottles of wine and your friend holding you as she handed tissue after tissue.

Now, you looked out at the couple and you couldn’t help but think back to moments with Obi-Wan. Padmé tried to insist that your feelings were reciprocated, but you couldn’t think of a single moment that showed that. Now, you did.

It gave you an idea.

“Would you care to dance?”

When you looked back towards him, he looked uncertain. Clearly forgetting why they are in this situation.

“Come on, Obi. It would look bad if my boyfriend refuses to dance with me,” you said with a teasing tone to lighten the mood.

“Oh, alright.” If he were being honest, he wouldn’t have said no even if he wasn’t pretending tonight. Not only that, but he could never bring himself to say no when you called him Obi. It only shattered any restraint he had. Every. Single. Time.

Putting his drink down, he offered his hand to you. When slid your hand into his calloused one, there was a comfort that filled both of you as he led you to the dance floor. He made sure to be closer to the middle both for protection and so that, in a way, the two of you had more privacy. He didn’t want prying eyes watching as he was sure that he would soon crumble the longer he looked into your eyes.

Once he found a place that he liked, he stepped up in front of you and kept his eyes on yours, placing his free hand on your waist. When you placed your other hand on his shoulder, you stepped closer to him. The close contact was driving you both insane.

With ease, Obi-Wan led you as the two of you moved together. He didn’t dare break eye contact with you as you moved perfectly as one. Your own eyes were shining as you smiled up at him. He was smiling back, and as the moment continued, his will to keep everything in was slowly shattering. For the briefest moment, he considered leaving as he was scared that he actually would let it out. There was no way he was leaving you, though.

He pulled you closer by your waist. If he needed to, he could use the excuse of the situation, but he didn’t need to. His heart seemed to swell as it picked up speed for the hundredth time that night as he watched your eyes only soften at the action. He was sure you could probably feel how it was threatening to hammer its way out of his chest.

Truth was, you could feel it, and you wouldn’t be surprised if he could feel yours. It gave you a strange reassurance as there was also something in his eyes that you could see that finally, after years, had given it away.

With the hand on his shoulder, you moved it to rest on his cheek. He ever so subtly leaned into your palm, making you giggle lightly at the ticklish sensation of his scruff, and his will completely shattered.

“Y/N,” he said, his voice catching in his throat.

“Yes, Obi?”

“I need to tell you something,” he started then began to ramble, “and I’m sure you probably don’t feel the same way and I want you to know it’s fine. I just need to get it off of my shoulders and I know it’s against The Code and I will understand if you want someone else-”

“Obi,” you cut him off, slightly chuckling at his ramble. “Whatever it is, I’m sure it will be fine.”

You began to trace small circles on his cheek with your thumb. You were sure you knew what was coming, but you still thought that maybe it wasn’t. Could this really be happening?

“I- You are the most beautiful women I’ve ever met. Despite my best efforts, you became more than a friend to me,” he said with a slightly shaky voice.

Your heart was swelling with pure happiness. This was exactly what you thought he never felt. It was what you thought he would forever keep quiet.

“I love you, darling. I love you so much it hurts. It hurts because I’ve always felt like you don’t feel the same.” He stopped the dance and just focused on you; focused on the feeling of your hand on his bearded cheek. “But I think I may have been mistaken.”

The smile on your face only grew as happy tears filled your eyes.

“Apparently, I was too.”

Confusion crossed his features, bringing out the adorable little crease in between his eyebrows.

“I thought that I was the one who had unrequited feelings, Obi. I thought that I was the one who was unbearably in love with you.”

Finally, a smile appeared on his face. The hand that held yours brought your hands to his lips. This time, you didn’t push the chill away, but let it make its way up your arm and down your back.

Then, he pulled you even closer while letting go of your hand. You were about to be upset about its loss until he placed his calloused hand gently on your cheek.

“I love you, Obi,” you almost whispered.

Slowly, he leaned in closer. When he spoke, his nose was gently nuzzling yours and his lips hovered over yours, “I love you too, my darling.”

And finally, the one thing you’ve dreamed of for years finally became reality. His lips met yours, soft and sweet, just like you imagined. And the one thing that he had only imagined, that you now acted on, was moving your hand into his hair.

The sensation was a relief to you both. You enjoyed the feeling of the soft strands as he loved how you lightly tugged at them. It increased the passion behind the kiss as you relished in the moment. This would probably be the last time the two of you could do this in public and have an excuse. So, you both took advantage of it while you could.

When the two of you parted, you rested against the others’ forehead. Smiles were plastered on your faces and you both believed that nothing could wipe them from your faces. Not in this moment. Not when the two of you loved each other and finally knew it.

“How much longer until you need to go back?” Obi-Wan asked quietly, a little breathily as he was still catching his breath. You knew that you should go back and get more votes, but you wanted to stay in this moment. You wanted to stay with him on the one night you were open to love him the way you wanted to.

“Soon. But, I have a plan.”

“Do you now?” he said in a playful tone, raising an eyebrow, still not separating from you.

Chuckling, you nodded against him, “Stay with me while I campaign a bit longer. Then, after, we could have the rest of the night to ourselves.”

“I like the sound of that.” With that, he kissed you again, lips lingering against yours in a quiet, peaceful moment.

“Ahem,” you heard someone clear their throat. Startled, the two of you pulled your lips away as you looked over. It was Padmé who wore a knowing smile. A quick glance and Anakin was not far with his own smirk directed mainly at his master. “We should get back to mingling.”

She winked and walked away with Anakin not far behind.

The two of you looked back at each other and couldn’t help but chuckle. There was no way you were going to live this down. But, you didn’t care. The two of you had more important things to think about. The top of that list, how the two of you would go about the rest of this night. Together.

@stardancerluv @where-fantasy-meets-reality @jaydenwoo @madmax2003 @generousrunawaydonut

[calltomuster]

(More) Star Wars Fic Recs

[first fic rec list]

Hello everyone, hope you've been having a lovely week! Here's another list of some fics I've really enjoyed reading or rereading recently. I try to have a mix of things I don't think got enough love, fics from a while ago that deserve to be reread, stuff from writers on Tumblr, and of course, just stuff I think is great.

atmosphere level by softredscrunchie (gen, one-shot, 1k words, Obi-Wan & Satine) Obi-Wan's hurt and sick and annoyed so Satine decides to distract him by arguing passionately that Mandalore is, in fact, flat. Obi-Wan, being the nerd he is, gets more and more wound up as she refuses to back down. This fic is one of the funniest things I've read in a long while, highly recommend if you're having a bad day.

a comedy in four acts by jesuisdeux (gen, one-shot, 4k words, Obi-Wan & Dooku & Yoda) Obi-Wan and Dooku both time-travel from the point of their deaths way back to when Obi-Wan was a young Padawan. Ft. Classic Dooku glowering at a 13 year-old, caring and empathetic Yoda, and Obi-Wan flat out telling a very confused Qui-Gon that he's gonna kill Dooku.

the day begins with burning by @kototyph (gen, one-shot, 6.3k words, Obi-Wan & Anakin) This fic takes place in a world where the Jedi Order finds out about the Tusken massacre and puts Anakin on trial (internally). We start off right as the Council is delivering their verdict, and it's a roller coaster of emotions from start to finish. I like it because it does not shy away from the fact that Anakin murdered a bunch of people and there really need to be consequences for that, but also isn't just Anakin bashing. The relationship between Anakin and Obi-Wan really shines through here.

The Ghosts of Memory by @pandora15 (gen, one-shot, 2.1k words, Obi-Wan & Anakin & Ahsoka) Obi-Wan and Anakin are invited back to Naboo for the ten year anniversary of the battle. I mean, that sounds relatively benign but OOF. So many feelings. So many thoughts of what could have been. Go read this fic!

Anamorphosis by avocadomoon (Obi-Wan/Padmé, one-shot, 33.5k words) Obi-Wan and (a slightly older) Padmé keep in touch after the events on Naboo and keep their eventual marriage out of the public eye. Qui-Gon lives, but the Council still doesn't accept Anakin for training so he and Shmi are taken in by a wonderful benefactor -- Sheev Palpatine. Nothing can go wrong there, right? This is an absolutely fascinating re-imagining of the prequels era. I'm so sad it's only a one-shot, because there's so much to explore here.

on sith holocrons and misunderstandings by billowypants (gen, one-shot, 7.2k words, Obi-Wan & Anakin) As the summary says, "de-aged!Obi-Wan has the same Force bonds as adult Obi-Wan, and he does not react well." Bit of an understatement, that. This fic really makes me feel bad for both Obi-Wan and Anakin. Wrap them up in blankets and give them hugs, please.

In Control by @kckenobi (gen, one-shot, 3.5k words, Obi-Wan & Anakin) I don't normally seek out fics with young Anakin, but I love KCKenobi's stuff so I was like "I'm game" and that was most definitely not a mistake. What a cute fic this is! The basic premise is that Anakin is getting his license to drive/fly a speeder and poor Obi-Wan is dragged along for the ride, literally. Highly recommend.

always gold by @happygiraffe (gen, 4/4 chapters, 10k words, Obi-Wan & Anakin) Obi-Wan hasn't been Master to Anakin for that long before he finds out his cancer is back. Oh man. Let me tell you, I don't cry easily. Really, I don't. But the most recent time I read this fic, I had to set my phone down at the end and ugly-sob for literally ten minutes before I could properly compose myself. It affected me that much. This fic showed me the power of words. My only hope is that one day I will be able to accomplish what @happygiraffe has with this fic!

fill pages with scribbled ink by magneticwave (Obi-Wan/Padmé, one-shot, 9.8k words) If I haven't talked about this fic already on here (and I might have?) then I have committed a crime. It's another Obi-Wan/Padmé fic, which is a ship I've never had a problem with but don't normally seek out, but the ones on this list are so, so good. This fic is told entirely through comm messages, and it's such a brilliant way to tell this story. I cheered the whole way through.

having loved a little while by @giggles-and-freckles (Padmé/Anakin, 1.5k words, Padmé & Ahsoka, Ahsoka & Anakin) Okay genuinely I had a hard time deciding between the four(?) fics @giggles-and-freckles wrote for the Chaos Company Exchange because they all brought me such joy, but this one stands out. Padmé is teaching Ahsoka how to cook in her apartment and they're having a really lovely moment when Anakin bursts in and then has to try and explain his unexpected presence to Ahsoka. This story had me going "awww!" in the beginning and then dying of laughter by the end. So much fun, seriously. I laughed out loud multiple times.

If you like any of these fics, please consider reblogging so they can get more exposure! And if you noticed I missed someone's Tumblr account, or linked the wrong one, please let me know!

[atagotiak]

Time Traveling Quasi-Reformed Vader

A whole bunch of scattered thoughts with help from @phoenixyfriend​ and @dracothulhu​

So. One thing that’s fun is Darth Vader fics where he has not fully developed a moral compass, but he’s willing to outsource that to people who do have one.

Another thing that’s fun is time travel AUs

So Post-RotJ (and post reunion with Ghost!Obi-Wan) Anakin wakes up. Which is a little weird, he thought consciousness might work differently when you’re dead and all that.

What’s even weirder is he’s like, 15.

Now. He knows that Palpatine can’t be trusted with power. And also just like, on a personal level, he hates Palpatine’s guts now, so he’s not interested in joining him again.

Padmé is pretty great but like. That’s complicated, not least because he hasn’t re-met her yet he knows even less about how to approach pretty women than he did when he was 19, which is kind of impressive. So, approaching Padmé is tabled for uh. Sometime after he gets a little more stable and learns how to function in society as something other than a murder-cryptid.

And also, he knows that Obi-Wan has always cared about Anakin. To the point of still caring about him decades after the worst of betrayals and even after literally being murdered by Anakin. So naturally, Anakin is all-in on the unhealthy devotion.

And crucially here. Obi-Wan has not time travelled. He has no idea what’s going on. Anakin doesn’t want to disappoint Obi-Wan or make him sad and there’s just no not-awkward way to say ‘Hey I don’t know if it was the galaxy’s most intense vision or if my soul literally went back in time, but I fell and destroyed everything you love and then killed you in a possible future’

But still. He wants to make Obi-Wan happy. And also he does want to do good. He feels guilt about the things he (hasn’t yet) done and this is an opportunity to do better. But he still has spent two and a half decades being Darth Vader.

I want you to imagine teenage Anakin asking questions like: “Hey Obi-Wan, how much torture is too much?” “Any torture is too much torture Anakin!”

Anakin is skeptical but hey, torture makes Obi-Wan upset, so. No torture.

The other thing that would be disturbing to Obi-Wan is how deferential Anakin now is. TCW Anakin is perfectly happy bickering with Obi-Wan about everything and I feel like that probably started as a teenager.

Now he’s not like that. Sith hells, even when he sneaks out and does concerning stuff it’s mostly just to impress Obi-Wan.

And yes, Anakin has always wanted to impress Obi-Wan. But this is different.

The speech patterns, especially early on, also can’t help.

From Dracothulu:

cracking puberty voice "what is thy bidding, Master"

Anakin’s entire personality has changed overnight in some very concerning ways. Poor Obi-Wan is going to have a meltdown over all of this.

From Phoenixyfriend:

Obi-Wan getting calls at 3 AM from Anakin like "Hey... I have a sith lord at my mercy, should I kill him?" "Anakin what the ACTUAL FUCK"

"I'm pretty sure this is a 'murder good' situation but I thought the same thing about the Tuskens--" "ANAKIN WHAT"

"When did you find a Sith, I'm--aren't you on Coruscant right now?"

"I walked into the Senate and picked a fight with Sidious. I think I should kill him, he's too dangerous to leave alive, but maybe you want him for information? Or--"

"Anakin who the fuck is Sidious"

Just imagine Anakin like a very proud cat dropping a (not yet dead!) mangled mouse at Obi-Wan’s feet. Only the mouse is a Sith

But honestly, I’m not sure he’d go straight for Palpatine, Anakin is absolutely an impulsive and fighty person, but he’s probably still pretty afraid of Palpatine and he is a formidable fighter, especially now that he’s a few decades younger. Taking Palpatine down is definitely the plan but maybe not immediately. He does find some excuse to distance himself though. Anakin just can’t spend that much time pretending to genuinely like him anymore.

He would absolutely run off for a bit and do this with Maul.

Nixy:

Cats bringing you half-dead spiders is a time-honored tradition

"He killed your space dad so it's your decision if you want to kill him"

"Anakin there are SO MANY THINGS WRONG WITH THAT SENTENCE"

"So... you want ME to decide if he dies?"

"NO"

Much like a cat he is confused by Obi-Wan being disturbed weirded out by this.

Nixy:

In Anakin's defense, bringing half-dead enemies to his master's feet was one of the few things that made Sidious less likely to torture him for kicks

It's a learned behavior

“I thought stopping Sith was a good thing?”

“Well, yes. But you should wait until you’re older. And better at ethics.”

The way he handles Dooku is actually more subtle. By comparison, at least. As while evil grandpa is definitly evil by this point, he is still well-respected by the Jedi (who have no reason to suspect him of anything evil yet) and giving an injured Dooku to Obi-Wan as a present would go even worse than with Maul. He spams Dooku with anonymous messages about how Palpatine is a dick who’s going to betray him. He also keeps an eye out for any suspicious things Anakin could actually act on.

Anakin runs into nine year old Ahsoka, and yes he feels guilty but he’s always feeling guilty about something. He quickly becomes a mentor for her again and when Obi-Wan finds out he’s a little concerned and wants to supervise. Not for Ahsoka’s safety. But he does worry about what Anakin might be teaching her.

(Ahsoka does start biting people more often after she starts hanging out with Anakin)

Obi-Wan, seeing Anakin’s newfound interest in kids (or at least one kid) signs him up for some part time crèche assistant things. Both to give him some supervised time with kids in the hopes that it’ll be calming and constructive and a liiitle bit beacause Anakin could probably benefit from secondhand kindergarten level “outside of a sparring ring hands are not for hitting” lessons

This is, at least at first, drastically less grounding for Anakin than intended, though he doesn’t ever complain. (And helping teach kids how to behave does help a bit with reminding him what social norms are)

I feel like he doesn’t end up a crèchemaster. Too many bad memories and too much guilt to be caring for these kids full-time. But he does keep teaching the occasional class for little kids, like binary for beginners, or how to make basic circuits.

They asked him to teach introductory saber lessons once because he’s good with lightsabers and good at teaching. He had a breakdown.

[jasontoddiefor]

Summary: “Do you like it?” Obi-wan asked. Ahsoka looked up at him in confusion. What was he talking about- “The tea,” he added and raised his own cup like a sign.

Or, Anakin is injured and Ahsoka spends some time with her Grandmaster.

The tea Obi-Wan pressed into her hands smelled familiar, like the one Anakin made for them after late shifts when they had only recently left Coruscant. It was a sweet tea, so sweet that Ahsoka didn't even need to put any sugar in it. Their kitchen – an expression that still made Ahsoka grin with happiness because she had a Master now and she was a Padawan, even after these first months – didn't have anything but tea and some instant noodles stocked. For some reason, Ahsoka wasn't allowed to heat them up for lunch, so they had to go down to the cafeteria to eat. Obi-Wan had said something about the noodles being important to Anakin, and Ahsoka hadn't asked after that. She was too sure she'd start to cry like a youngling if she thought any more about her Master, who was currently unconscious in the halls of healing, being looked over by various healers.

The mission had been supposed to be easy. Nobody should have gotten hurt.

Ahsoka sunk further into her chair, buried herself in her Master's oversized coat. It had been handed to her when they'd brought Anakin in and Ahsoka had kept it on since. She knew it was stupid, that she looked ridiculous, but she kept it on anyway because it smelled like him and therefore like home and peace.

So here she was now with her Grandmaster in their kitchen in an apartment she didn't even really have a room in yet because they hadn't had time to clear it out, drinking tea.

"Do you like it?" Obi-wan asked.

Ahsoka looked up at him in confusion. What was he talking about-

"The tea," he added and raised his own cup like a sign.

"Oh, yes," she replied, feeling stupid for not having understood. She wanted Obi-Wan to like her and think she was a suitable addition to their lineage. "It smells familiar to the one Anakin always makes."

"It's the very same," Obi-Wan replied. "It's the only tea the two of us like equally well, so we always drink it together."

"Oh." Ahsoka hadn't known that. It felt like something she should know about her Master, like allergies. Frantically, Ahsoka tried to remember whether she could recall any of Anakin's allergies; he had to have at least one, right? Before she could get any more worked up and leave Obi-Wan in this awkward silence, she forced herself to ask another question. "What's in it?"

"A few red berries and some other indigenous fruit from Naboo. It was the only tea offered on Naboo that didn't taste like it had been dosed in perfume," Obi-Wan said and pulled a face as if the tea from Naboo had genuinely offended him.

Ahsoka giggled, then quickly clasped her hand over her mouth. She hadn't meant to laugh at her Grandmaster, but Obi-Wan only smiled good-naturedly.

"Why- when were you on Naboo together?"

She knew that Anakin enjoyed items coming from the planet and was quite knowledgeable about its culture. She had no idea why someone would have all theatre genre of Naboo's last century memorized, but as Anakin had proven on a long retcon mission, he could talk endlessly about them. At least all his cursing had made them more entertaining than her own literature classes at the Temple.

"Ah, that's a rather long story. You were…. Five when Anakin joined the Order, weren't you?"

Ahsoka wanted to protest, surely she had to have been younger, but she remembered the whispers and knew her Master's age. It was strange to think he was only a few years older than her. She thought it would have been more, it should have been more, but if she were any younger and he older, perhaps they wouldn't be Master and Padawan at all.

She nodded in confirmation and Obi-Wan continued on.

"Anakin and I spent a month together on Naboo before we returned to Coruscant and he officially became a part of the Order. The Naboo prefer their food to taste and smell a bit flowery, and neither of us was used to it. After a lot of bickering, we decided that it was the one brand we actually both enjoyed. It took us a while to figure out how to brew it correctly, but eventually, I learned and taught Anakin in turn."

That certainly sounded nice, domestic even, like a scene she had never seen before. She tried to imagine the two of them in their kitchen, Obi-Wan being younger without a beard and looking less exhausted while Anakin was even shorter than her, perhaps standing on a barstool of some kind so that he could reach the counter.

Obi-Wan brought his own cup to his lips and drunk from it, then he set the cup on the table again.

They didn't have a single matching set of teacups that they actually appeared to be using. There were a few tea sets in the cupboard, Ahsoka had seen those already, but they didn't look like they were actually in use. Instead, Anakin and Obi-Wan had a collection of cups with silly images, colorful prints, and sayings.

"Ahsoka, I know we didn't get to spend much time together yet, but if you'd like, and if you enjoy this tea, I would like to show you how to prepare it properly."

Hearing those words, Ahsoka perked up. "Really?"

Obi-Wan smiled kindly at her and set his cup on the table. "It's a bit of a tradition for us, figuring out how to make a particular tea and then going out to buy a new cup for it. I used to do it with my Master, and Anakin and I didn't collect so many different mugs for no reason. You don't have classes this afternoon, do you?"

Ahsoka shook her head. "No."

They had canceled her classes for the rest of the week. There was no need for her to go when she'd only worry about Anakin. She could, of course, but the healers had been very insistent that Ahsoka should figure out her own boundaries and act according to them.

She still kind of wanted to go to class, just to prove that something like her Master getting hurt didn't unsettle her too much, but she was also still glued to their kitchen chair, wrapped in his oversized coat.

"Then, if you want, we can go out in the city today and buy you a cup and a new brand of tea to try out."

It would do her good to go outside. "I'd like that."

The two of them finished their teapot, then Ahsoka returned to her room. They still hadn't finished setting it up and so was currently more the place she stuck her stuff as Anakin frantically tried to move his plants to another surface that was not already covered by them and miniaturize his droid workshop. Most of the time, she didn't even sleep in the bed that had been cramped in there. In the words of her Master, why should she sleep there when Obi-Wan's larger and more comfortable bed was right there. Or Anakin's when Anakin managed to drag himself only to the sofa or, already half-asleep, stumbled into Obi-Wan's room.

Once her Master was cleared from the halls, they were going to sort that out. Even if Obi-Wan didn't have any problems with her taking over his bed.

Ahsoka got dressed, changed into robes of her own size and slipped back into the main room. From there on it was a quick and easy trip to the shopping districts of Coruscant. Obi-Wan wistfully muttered something about "at least it's not the lower levels this time" that he didn't see fit to elaborate on and Ahsoka, therefore, chose to keep in mind for a later date.

The tea shop he led her to must be one he frequented more often because the owner greeted him with name and immediately showed him a selection he thought would be to Obi-Wan's liking. Ahsoka smelled the various fruity, spicy, and bitter tea selections and eventually picked one that Obi-Wan and she both agreed looked like the most interesting one. Apparently, the tea changed colors as it cooled down. They didn't stay long enough in the store to get a practical demonstration, but Ahsoka was still eager to see it. Mainly to see it in the new mug Obi-Wan had bought her. It was supposed to match the color of the liquid inside. It was ridiculous, but Ahsoka thought it was fun.

"We can make it for Anakin later," Obi-Wan said. "He is supposed to wake up this evening."

"Do you think he'd like that?"

"I think he would be very pleased to see how well his Padawan has conducted herself in his absence. And he always did like food that was a little extraordinary."

The rest of the afternoon passed quickly with the two walking through the smaller streets, visiting stores Ahsoka had never seen before, but who all apparently knew her quite well already. The number of times somebody addressed her with "Little Anakin's Padawan?" was quite astonishing.

By the time they returned to the Temple, it was already dark. Their first stop after deposing their new items in their rooms was the cafeteria. Dinner was, as always, a loud and cheerful affair. Groups of Initiates were running around the many tables, Padawans chatting to each other and Masters bragging about their students. She and Obi-Wan took a seat at a table a little closer to the edge where it was quieter, though even they weren't spared from the toddlers handing out sugary cupcakes that looked like somebody was trying to sell pure diabetes.

But how was Ahsoka supposed to resist when the tiny Nautolan with the huge eyes offered it to her? It wasn't like Obi-Wan could resist it either.

After they had finished dinner, they returned to their quarters, properly put away all they had bought, and set the new tea package on the kitchen table together with Ahsoka's mug.

"Alright," Obi-Wan said. "Let's see how hot the water needs to be and how long the tea needs to steep."

With gentle fingers, Obi-Wan began to put the tea leaves into filter bags and familiarized Ahsoka with it. He taught her how to properly pour tea and which brands were better with a little more or less sugar, which needed salt of all things, and about a hundred other different tidbits that she couldn't believe he just knew from the top of his head.

But all the work seemed to pay off as they had a teapot full of blue tea that was slowly turning violet.

"Well done," Obi-Wan praised her as he grabbed the teapot and a mug for himself.

Ahsoka took her own new one, though she had already decided that she'd let Anakin drink out of it this time, and took another for herself. Together they headed towards the halls of healing. They hadn't even entered them properly when Anakin's voice reached them.

"I am fine, Bant, I swear! I just want to see Ahsoka and Obi-Wan, promise I'll be back within twenty minutes- ten minutes!"

Just as Ahsoka and Obi-Wan waked around the corner, they saw Anakin attempting to climb out of his bed, bandages still wrapped around his head, and arguing with Bant. As soon as he saw them, his eyes lit up.

"Ahsoka! Obi-Wan, are you well?"

Ahsoka stared at Anakin, whole, healthy, and smiling, and reassured herself that he was real. Then in the fashion of a child, she threw herself at him, burying her head in his chest as she before had in his robes.

"Woah, woah, everything's alright, Ahsoka. I'm just fine, see?"

He patted her head almost a little awkwardly like he didn't know what to do with his hands, but Ahsoka didn't care.

He was fine, everything was alright.

"Anakin Skywalker, what are you doing? Get back into bed!"

Ahsoka slowly released Anakin from her embrace so that he could fall back on his bed. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and rolled his eyes at the Mon Calamari Jedi.

"Bant wants to keep me here overnight, even though I'm fine."

At this, he glared a little at Bant, though Ahsoka could tell his heart was not in it. If that were so, she knew Bant wouldn't be standing here much longer. As ridiculous as he looked right now, Ahsoka knew her Master could be quite terrifying if he wanted to.

"Don't act so much like a bratty Padawan, Anakin," Bant only commented. "Now sit down, rest, get well, and you can go back to your rooms tomorrow morning."

"Yes, yes," Anakin muttered and pulled the blanket back over his legs. Bant smiled at the three of them, then bid them good night as well.

"It's good to see you're causing trouble as always," Obi-Wan said and set the teapot on the table next to Anakin's bed so he could sit down on its edge. "Here I was worried it was something serious."

"Oh, you know me, Master. I always have to be a little dramatic. What tea is that?"

Anakin couldn't have changed the topic more obviously in favor of curiously examining the teapot.

"Master Obi-Wan and I went out shopping in the city today," Ahsoka spoke up and pushed her new mug into Anakin's hands before she saw down next to him. "We bought a new tea and it changes color and also a mug and-"

"Hey, Snips, slow down." 

Ahsoka shut up as Anakin raised his hands. Then, with an expression Ahsoka could only describe as pouty, her Master turned to Obi-Wan.

"You took my Padawan on her first tea run without me?" Anakin asked accusingly, pointing his finger at Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan only sighed theatrically and poured some tea, by now a dark red color, into every cup. "Well, we can't all be heroes recovering from a deadly assault. I take it said hero doesn't want a cup then?"

Now Anakin was quick to hold out the cup Ahsoka had pressed into his hands. "No, I want to see what my Padawan picked out. Hurry up, Master."

Obi-Wan's following laughter was infectious. It was almost as loud and cheerful as Anakin's demands to be told everything of their trip in detail. Sitting next to him on the bed, covered by the heavy blanket and the warm tea in hand, Ahsoka could finally allow herself to relax fully.

[padawanlost]

Hey there! First of all I wanna say that I love your blog 😊

If I may, I wanted to ask you something regarding the Jedi Code. What did it say exactly about love and family? From my understanding, they were forbidden to form attachments, yet one Jedi (can't remember the name) married and had several kids. So, as long as there was no love or risk of attachment, they could marry and/or have kids?

I'm so confused

Before anything else is said, we need some context. The Jedi Order is over 25000 years old, which means a lot of things changed over the years. what’s really important to keep in mind is that theirs rules were no set in stone. There’re multiple variations of the “Jedi Code”. Also, not every rule the Jedi had to live by were part of the Jedi Code. Some rules were more about tradition than the code itself. Because of that every generation of the Order has its own particularities. That’s why the Prequels Order was different from the Old Republic’s Order and that was different from New Republic’s Order.

With that out of the way, let’s talk about the prequel era Jedi.

1 – Jedi were NOT allowed to marry or reproduce (without the Council’s authorization):

“If anyone finds out that I’m expecting a child, I’ll be thrown out of the Jedi Order and I won’t be able to serve. I have to carry on. I can’t let the men down.” Skirata was furious. She felt it. She could see it, too. And if she thought that was bad, it would be nothing compared with how the Jedi Council would react. She’d be kicked out of the Order. She’d no longer be a general, no longer able to play her part in the war. [Karen Traviss’s Triple Zero]

2 – Jedi were allowed to have sex, but they were not allowed to have romantic relationships or to have any kind of emotional attachments to their sexual partners.

“Jedi Knights aren’t celibate. The thing that is forbidden is attachments and possessive relationships.” George Lucas.

“But ol’ Pellaeon’s just having a spot of romance, if you know what I mean. It’s not like he gets attached to any of them, is it? Is romance allowed? Can you have a spot of romance if you don’t get attached?” Ahsoka’s stripes became more vividly colored, embarrassed. Yes, she obviously did know what Coric meant by romance. It wasn’t the word he usually used for it, but Ahsoka was only a kid, and Rex had decided from the start that talking about that sort of thing was something best left to her Jedi Masters. Yes, General Skywalker, I think that’s a job for you, sir. It wasn’t a clone’s duty at all. “Romance,” Ahsoka said stiffly, “is acceptable. Jedi are not … celibate. Just … no attachment.” [No prisoners. Karen Traviss]

He felt his fingers fist. Don’t you lie. Not about this. Don’t you dare.  “You love her.” Monotonous blasterfire filled the silence between them. Then Obi-Wan nodded. “Yes, Anakin, I love her. But I was never in love. For a short while Taria and I needed each other. And when we no longer needed each other, we parted—and remained friends.” So that was how it worked, was it? Stay aloof, stay detached, never let yourself feel too much, too deeply, and the Order didn’t care? So if Padmé and I pretended we weren’t in love … [Karen Miller’s Star Wars: Clone Wars Gambit: Siege]

3 – Jedi were not allowed to have contact with their biological families;

“After the Jedi Masters decided that it was too dangerous to train anyone familiar with fear, anger, and any other emotion that might lead to the dark side, it was agreed that Force-sensitive juveniles, adolescents, and adults would no longer be eligible for enlistment or conscription. Instead, they sought out and adopted Force-sensitive infants who would be raised and trained at the Jedi Temple on Coruscant; to prevent any emotional attachments that might cloud judgment, most recruits would never have any subsequent contact with their families.” [ Ryder’s Windham’s Jedi vs. Sith: The Essential Guide to the Force]

The entire baby Ludi case

Still no word from the Jedi Council about what happened at the Battle of Naboo. Watto is beside himself with fury, complaining that if I can spend a hundred credits to send a message, then the Jedi can spend a hundred credits to answer. It worries me that it’s taking them so long. Three days should be long enough to figure out whether you were at Naboo, and whether you’re still alive. […] Shmi seemed to believe that Watto genuinely missed the boy. Leia had trouble accepting this, but was forced to at least allow for the possibility when Shmi reported that Watto had actually made a gift to her of the ten credits she had borrowed to help pay for her message to the Jedi Council. […] An administrator on Coruscant had finally replied to Shmi’s ’Net message: Anakin was well, but the Jedi did not discuss the activities of their Padawans even with parents. Even that was enough to elate Shmi. [ Tatooine Ghost by Troy Denning]

4 - The love they were allowed to experience was nothing like how we experience love in real life:

Who wept their tears on the inside, where they would not be seen. To weep for a fallen comrade was to display unseemly attachment. A Jedi did not become attached to people, to things, to places, to any world or its inhabitants. A Jedi’s strength was fed by serenity. By distance. By loving impersonally. [Karen Miller. Wild Space]

It was impersonal. It wasn’t like loving your family or your friends. It was more compassion, than love (the kind of love that connects you to someone on a emotional level).

Instead, they sought out and adopted Force-sensitive infants who would be raised and trained at the Jedi Temple on Coruscant; to prevent any emotional attachments that might cloud judgment, most recruits would never have any subsequent contact with their families. [Ryder’s Windham’s Jedi vs. Sith: The Essential Guide to the Force]

“Not that Luminara is indifferent, but that Luminara is detached. It’s not that she doesn’t care, but she’s not attached to her emotionally. And at the end of the day, one of the questions that I guess I pose is, is that really a good thing? Is Anakin’s way of being so compassionate wrong? Because on a certain level, you have to accept that the Jedi lose the Clone War. So there is something that they’re doing that’s wrong.” Dave Filoni

Nobody asked the obvious—whether clone troopers were everyone else or not. Joc looked from Ahsoka to Rex and back again. “What’s wrong with attachment?” he asked. “Why can’t you have attachments? You mean love, right?” Ahsoka looked at the clones wide-eyed but in slight defocus, as if she was trying to recall something. “Love is acceptable,” she said at last. “But not attachment.” “What’s love if it isn’t attachment?” “Attachment is … putting personal relationships first, caring about the people you love so that it influences how you act.” Ahsoka seemed to be picking her words carefully. Coric stared back at her. “You know, it affects your judgment.” [ No prisoners by Karen Traviss]

5 - The exceptions:

There were some exception to these rules, most of them happening during a different time (Old and New Republic Eras). However, there’s one notable exception all the rules above during the prequels: Ki-Adi-Mundi. Unlike most Jedi he was allowed to marry multiple wives and have multiple children and still remain a jedi. They allowed it because he belonged to an endangered species, so him being in a polygamous relationship was part of the greater good. Fun fact, he was emotionally attachment to some members of his biological family.

[ahsokryze]

Nat hi!!! Prompts!!!

How about repair for Obi and soka?? 💕

yes of course! // from these prompts

(also sorry this took so long, my bad)

repair - being confined to bed due to injury or illness and hating every second of it.  

~~~

"Ahsoka, it’s time for medicine."

"No," Ahsoka said, crossing her arms with an indignant huff. "It's gross. Don't want it."

"Ahsoka,” Obi-Wan warned. “You need to take your medicine if you want to get better."

Ahsoka huffed again, turning her head to face the blank wall.

Normally, Ahsoka wouldn't be one to put on such a display of petulance for her Grandmaster. But for the last two days she had been stuck in bed suffering from a case of bronchitis which had not so fortunately developed after her latest mission to a dingy jungle planet. And so she had been left feeling tired, weak, and miserable—not to mention the cough, fever, and oh so wonderful chest pain that accompanied her affliction. So right now acting 'normal' was the last thing she wanted to care about.

Obi-Wan let out an exasperated sigh before sitting down on the side of the bed—Ahsoka could tell from the way she felt the mattress dip beside her, the slight creak that came along with it. She turned to look at him.

In his hands, the older Jedi was holding a small bottle filled with brown liquid; her medicine. She had already taken it four times within the last two days since she had been assigned to bedrest on Master Che's orders—much to Ahsoka's chagrin—and each time the taste seemed to become more and more intolerable. 'Gross' would be an understatement. She would rather have one of those awful fruit-flavoured medicines than this rancid concoction.

"Come on, Ahsoka," Obi-Wan said, shooting her a sort of sympathetic smile. Of course he was being sympathetic. Ahsoka looked down at her lap, picking mindlessly at the stray threads on the seam of the mattress. You’re not the one who’s suffering here, Master Kenobi. "It will only be bad for a minute,” he continued. “You handled it last time, so I am sure you can manage it again."

Ahsoka glanced up from her lap, opening her mouth to reply—but suddenly there was an odd yet familiar sensation in her chest and in her throat. Before she knew it she had erupted into a coughing fit; holding her chest, coughing harshly into her elbow. She felt a hand on her back a moment later, moving in gentle, comforting circles.

As soon as the coughing finally eased, Obi-Wan handed her her glass of water from where it had been sitting on the nightstand and waited patiently at her side as she caught back her breath.

"Thank you," she said sheepishly, her voice grating even after taking a few sips. Obi-Wan took back her glass with a warm smile.

"It seems your body is trying to tell you to take your medicine too," he said, setting the glass down on the nightstand with a slight grin—a 'you know i'm right' type of grin. Ahsoka rolled her eyes. He was right, though wether she wanted to admit that or not was a different story.

"Fine," she mumbled, letting out a sigh of defeat. Obi-Wan breathed out a light chuckle before he lifted the bottle of medicine to check the dosage, unscrewing the cap and picking up the spoon.

"Do you want to hold the spoon, or do you want me to feed it to you like the last time?" he said. He was genuinely asking the question but there was something in his eyes; a spark of humour flared. Ahsoka narrowed her gaze.

"I'll hold it myself this time, thank you very much," she said, snatching the spoon from his offering hand. The older Jedi let out a chuckle before he held up his hands placatingly.

“By all means.”

Ahsoka watched as Obi-Wan slowly poured the medicine onto her spoon, wrinkling her nose as she eyed the rancid liquid. She really didn’t want to have to drink this again.

"Are you going to drink it?” Obi-Wan asked after a few moments, noticing that she had yet to make any move to drink the medicine. “Or are you just going to stare at it until it goes away?"

“The second option sounds nice.”

“Well, I’m afraid that would be rather fruitless, my dear.”

Ahsoka scrunched her nose and let out a huff. Fine, I’ll do it. Taking a deep breath, she lifted the spoon to her mouth and downed the brown liquid, gagging at the awful flavour and the sickly way it coated her tongue, her throat.

“Good girl,” Obi-Wan murmured, taking back the spoon only for him to pour out another spoonful of the medicine. Because one just wasn’t enough.

“One more. Here you go. You can do it, young one.”

Ahsoka let out a whine—she didn’t care that Master Kenobi was taking the brunt of her petulance, even when she knew it wasn’t directly his fault for her suffering. It was just easier to blame him since he was the one technically forcing her to drink the medicine at the moment. She grabbed the spoon and drank the rest of her medicine, but before she could gag again Obi-Wan lifted a glass of water to her lips and she drank it gratefully, though it did little to get rid of the rancid aftertaste lingering in her mouth.

As she sipped her water, around the rim of the glass Ahsoka could see Obi-Wan silently studying her. She lowered the glass to rest in her lap and Obi-Wan’s gaze stayed focused on her for another few moments before his lips curled into a sympathetic pout.

“You really aren’t enjoying yourself, are you?”

Ahsoka mimicked his pouty expression. He was right. She very much was not enjoying herself. At that, Obi-Wan shuffled a little closer and settled a hand on her back. Ahsoka relaxed into the touch.

“Is there anything I can do or get for you that might help you feel a little better?” he asked. Ahsoka breathed out a sigh—but when she felt a tickle in her chest she froze, bringing a hand up to her mouth, steeling herself for another coughing fit. She waited. False alarm.

“I just wish I wasn’t stuck in bed all day,” she mumbled, letting herself fall against her Grandmaster’s shoulder. She felt Obi-Wan tense at the action, but it was only a moment before his tensed muscles relaxed and he wrapped his arm around her shoulder, surrendering to the touch.

“Well you’re going to have to stay here until you get better, I’m afraid,” he said, his voice reverberating through her montrals. “But,” he continued, “If you would like, I could teach you how to play that variant of Sabacc I told you about.”

Ahsoka perked up. “Really?”

“Yes, really,” Obi-Wan replied. Then, quieter, “As long as you don’t tell Anakin.”

“Deal.” Ahsoka grinned. Finally, something interesting. She had previously been stuck watching cheesy romance holos with Anakin before he had to leave for the front (which he wasn’t too happy about—having to leave her behind while she was sick—though Obi-Wan had managed to reassure him that she would be fine) and he had cried at every single one of them. Ahsoka really didn’t understand what was so sad about them—they were so predictable! But apparently Anakin didn’t see it that way.

“All right. Why don’t you get yourself comfortable while I go fetch the sabacc cards from my quarters.”

While Obi-Wan left the room to find the deck of sabacc cards Ahsoka did as he said and tried to make herself comfortable, pulling her favourite blue fuzzy blanket around her shoulders and settling herself against her propped up pillows.

Shortly, Obi-Wan came back, sabacc cards in hand and plopped down on the opposite end of her bed with as much grace as a Jedi Master of his standing could muster.

Which, at the moment, didn’t seem to be a very high level of grace, now that said Jedi Master was trying failing to stifle a coughing fit after landing a little harder than he must have expected.

“Master…”

“I’m fine, Ahsoka—that was nothing.”

“It didn’t seem like nothing,” she muttered, watching as Obi-Wan sheepishly evaded her gaze as he tried yet again to stifle another feeble cough. “Master, I think you might have caught what I have.”

“No no—I’m fine.”

“Master.”

“No, I’m—”

Suddenly Obi-Wan burst into a full-fledged coughing fit, holding a fist to his mouth and a hand to his chest, pointedly turning fully away from Ahsoka. As soon as the worst of the coughing ceased, finally, Obi-Wan let out a sigh.

“I suppose you may be right,” he rasped. Ahsoka felt a pang in her chest that had nothing to do with her current infliction.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s not your fault Ahsoka.”

“But you caught it from me—if I hadn’t—”

“No. This isn’t your fault, young one. If anything, it’s mine. I sent you on that mission. If you hadn’t gone, you wouldn’t have gotten sick.”

Ahsoka rolled her eyes. Of course he was trying to blame himself for this. But before she could mutter a reply, tell him that it really was her fault for making him sick, Obi-Wan reached out to feel her forehead. Ahsoka couldn’t help but lean into the touch. His skin was cool; ice for the burn of her fever. She let out a small, satisfied hum before he pulled away.

“Just checking,” he said. “Not too bad.”

Then, before Obi-Wan could move, Ahsoka quickly lifted her hand to feel his forehead. He didn’t feel too warm, though she didn’t miss the slight sag of his shoulders, the way he seemed to surrender to the touch.

“Just checking,” she said with a smirk. Obi-Wan’s look of surprise fell into that of fondness, shaking his head with a slight grin as he moved back to sit across from her.

“Well,” he said, opening the deck of sabacc cards in front of him. “Seeing as the two of us are now most likely going to be stuck here for several days, would you like me to teach you this special variant of sabacc now?”

Ahsoka nodded with a grin, pulling her fuzzy blanket even tighter around herself.

“Alright,” Obi-Wan said. “Let’s get started.”

~~~

prompts closed

[justalitlecreacher]

Anakin Skywalker Deserved Better

Ive made this post before but it was really rough and i meant to edit it later and its later now but its been so long that i don’t feel like finding the og post so here we are. If it’s not obvious i care more than a normal amount about Anakin Skywalker.

Tl;Dr: I firmly believe that there are so many points in the prequel series, the clone wars, and even the comics that some level of intervention could have steered Anakin away from falling in Revenge of the Sith.

The Phantom Menace 

This is our first encounter with Anakin, and it does a decent job at introducing us to him. This movie sets up his tragic backstory™️ and gives us a good look at his personality; Anakin appears selfless and eager to help complete strangers in return for nothin when he first brings Qui-Gon and crew to his home to give them shelter, and then risks his life in the podrace to help them afford the part they need to fix their ship. Aside from introducing and developing Anakin not much else happens until Qui-Gon brings Anakin before the Jedi Council where they decide he is too old and there is already too much anger in him to be trained as a Jedi. Qui-Gon disagress, but we move on to Naboo where 9-year old Anakin blows up a very large ship all; by himslef w/ autopilot ( they grow up so fast), Qui-Gon dies, and we get our first look at Palpatine being creepy in hindsight, “And you, young Skywalker, we will watch your career with great interest.” not all that weird out of context but uncomfy when you remember who Palpatine is.

Before we move on i actually want to flashback to Anakin’s first encounter with the Jedi Council. For a group of people who constantly take in and raise children, the Jedi seem to do a poor job interacting with them. A kind of infuriating thing about this scene is that the Jedi seem to shame Anakin for being afraid (no matter how much Anakin himself denies that fear). This scene does a really good job at setting up how the Jedi consistently fail to take into account that Anakin is fundamentally incapable of being a “normal” Jedi. Anakin has had a fundamentally different childhood than any other Jedi and absolutely needed more help and support than the average Padawan from the very beginning. Granted it is possible that the Jedi tried to get him the help and support he needed, but if they did we can infer they failed from Dooku’s line in Revenge of the Sith, “I sense great fear in you, Skywalker. You have hate, you have anger, but you don’t use them.”

Obi-Wan And Anakin Comic

The Obi-Wan and Anakin comics take place sometime between The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones. The story focuses on Anakin and Obi-Wan investigating a distress signal on a planet that has been destroyed by war. The comic also flashes back to reveal that Anakin is thinking of leaving the Jedi Order after Palpatine shows him the dark side of Coruscant, and tells him that neither the Jedi nor the Senate will be able to do anything about it. We get more creepy (not just in hindsight this time) moments out of Palpatine here. The first one is when he uses his position as Chancellor to gain access to Anakin under the guise of “helping” him.  “Why young Skywalker is a Jedi, is he not? The Jedi are under the Senate’s jurisdiction. And as I am the Chancellor of the Senate...”. Palpatine proceeds to take Anakin to a club of some kind where they see a corrupt senator gambling; Palpatine also mentions how “Lives are bought and sold here everyday” he then makes a show of apologizing for bringing it up considering Anakin’s past.Without context this would seem harmless enough, but with the context of Palpatine’s true identity it is more likely a ploy to subelty remind Anakin of how the Jedi and Senate are unable or unwilling to intervene on Tatooine or the rest of the Outer Rim. Palpatine reminding Anakin of the Senate and Jedi’s inability to help everyone seems to be a running theme in their meeting as the series continues. 

Aside from Palpatine being a creep; we see that Anakin is still just as willing and eager to help as he was in The Phantom Menace. His skills in mechanics result in him being briefly kidnapped so that he can fix weapons that will help one side to win the war that has destroyed the planet. Seriously Anakin is just so ernest in these comics that i shed tears because i know how his story ends. 

One character that Obi-Wan and Anakin team up with to reach the distress signal first mistakes Anakin for Obi-Wan’s son, and then tells Obi-Wan, “He [Anakin] doesn’t think so. Kid idolizes you. You can see it” when Obi-Wan admits that he’s not sure he is the best suited to teach Anakin, and fears he has failed him in some way. As the story progresses, it is revealed in a flashback that after Anakin told Obi-Wan he wanted to leave the Order, Yoda sent the two of them on the mission they are currently on to give Anakin a chance to reconsider his decision, and Obi-Wan tells Yoda that if Anakin returned from the mission still wanting to leave the Order, Obi-Wan would leave with him to continue his training and keep his promise to Qui-Gon. 

Attack of the Clones

Back to the movies. Attack of the Clones reunites Obi-Wan and Anakin with Padmé Amidala when they are assigned to protect her from an assassin. One of ( if not the) most important elements to this movie are Anakin’s dreams/visions of his mother. Towards the beginning of the movie Anakin doesn’t explicitly say what the dreams are about, but it can be assumed that the dreams are unpleasant as he says, “I don't sleep well anymore.” in response to Obi-Wan commenting on him looking tired; going on to claim that he cannot sleep because of his dreams. Anakin later admits to Padmé that he worries about his mother. This is one of the key moments in Anakin’s life that set him up to fall in Revenge of the Sith. There is no reason i can think of that Anakin should not have been allowed to check on his mother if he was having dreams about her that prevented him from sleeping properly and made him worry for her safety. As Anakin says, “Compassion, which I would define as unconditional love, is central to a Jedi's life, so you might say we're encouraged to love.”. If compassion truly is central to a Jedi’s life, then surely they could at the very least send one of their 10,000 Jedi to check on Anakin’s mother if he could not? Is it compassion to deny someone the help they need? I find it hard to believe that Anakin would not have told Obi-Wan that he was worried about his mother going off of how close they appear to be in the previous comic. Especially after Anakin responds to Obi-Wan joking about Anakin being the death of him one day with, “Don't say that Master... You're the closest thing I have to a father... I love you. I don't want to cause you pain.” 

Anakin and Padmé arrive too late to save Shmi, and she dies in Anakin’s arms. This is a crucial moment leading up to Anakin’s fall as it shows Anakin that his dreams have a very real potential of coming true and likely results in him blaming himself at least partially for not insisting on checking on his mother or getting there sooner or doing anything different that may have allowed her to survive; it’s also the first time we see Anakin really lose control. There have been instances of him lashing out in anger before (turning a pair of padawans’ lightsabers against them when he hears them making fun of him behind his back), but nothing like what happens in the wake of Shmi’s death. Anakin wipes out the entire village of Tusken Raiders; children included. And while Anakin does express genuine remorse for his actions, he never faces consequences for them. It’s not even clear if anyone but Padmé ever finds out; Yoda claims to feel Anakin’s pain in the wake of his mother’s death, but does not appear to see Anakin’s actions, and is not shown to discuss what happened on Tatooine with Anakin at all.

Some light googling on my part revealed that in the novelization of Attack of the Clone, while Anakin did tell Obi-Wan about his mother’s death it was Padmé who told Obi-Wan how she had died, but Obi-Wan is unaware of what happened afterwards. “Anakin had told him of Shmi’s death; that was why he and Padmé had gone to Tatooine, he said. Obi-Wan had talked to Padmé later, and she had explained that Shmi had been kidnapped and killed by Tusken Raiders. Neither of them had been willing to go into much detail, and from what Obi-Wan knew of the Tusken Raiders, he didn’t blame them. It was no wonder Anakin seemed shaken, if his mother had been tortured and killed. One day, perhaps, Anakin would be willing to tell him the whole story.” Obi-Wan appears to know that there is more to the story than he has been told, but it content to wait until Anakin is ready to talk about it. I wonder if they ever had that conversation.

Anakin’s inability to save his mother even after the warnings he receives in his dreams likely leads to his desperation to save Padmé form the danger he believes her to be in later in Revenge of the Sith. He has been shown once before that his dreams can easily come true, and he is desperate to prevent this dream from coming true no matter what the cost may be. 

The Clone Wars

This is gonna be a long one; it’s gonna have to cover the most relevant episodes of The Clone Wars and oh boy that’s not a small amount. Im gonna try to go chronologically but bear with me (if you actually read this far you know what you got yourself into)

Assassin s3ep7

In this episode Ahsoka begins having visions of Padmé being assassinated similarly to how Anakin dreamed of his mother’s and later Padmé’s deaths. The difference with Ahsoka is that she is able to prevent the visions from becoming reality.  What i want to focus on in this episode is the reaction Ahsoka gets when she tells Yoda about her dreams. Yoda explains to her that her dream may be telling her something and provides her with the means to act on her visions to prevent them from becoming true.

When Anakin approaches Yoda about his dreams in Revenge of the Sith, Yoda simply tells him that death is natural and he must train himself to let go of everything he fears to lose. We could chalk this up to just a writing inconsistency, but i dont think i will. I would instead like to wonder why Yoda treats Ahsoka’s visions like they are something that can be changed but then treats Anakin’s like they are set in stone. Anakin has already proven himself capable of having true visions, and is more force sensitive than any other living Jedi. It makes no sense to dismiss Anakin’s feelings like this. All this to say looking into and helping Anakin to examine his dreams instead of telling him to let go when he has proven over and over to be incapable of doing so would likely have been significantly more helpful in the long run.

The Mortis Arc S3 Ep15-17

Honestly i dont have a lot to say on this arc aside how much psychic damage it dealt to see Anakin briefly turn to the dark side because he was so desperate o avoid the future The Son had shown him ( really hope everyone had the common sense not to bring that up to Anakin after the fact though).

 The Deception Arc S4 Ep15+18

In this arc Obi-Wan fakes his death in order to go undercover as the bounty hunter Rako Hardeen and uncover a plot to kidnap the Chancellor. This wouldn’t be a problem if they had brought Anakin in on the plan; instead they use Anakin’s reaction to Obi-Wan’s “death” to better sell the illusion. Obi-Wan even says, “Keeping Anakin on the outside was critical. Everyone knows how close we are. It was his reaction that sold the sniper. I'm sure of it.” Obi-Wan and the Council are fully aware of how much Obi-Wan means to Anakin, yet they all decide to use those feelings to their own advantage with little regard for the consequences.

On top of betraying Anakin’s trust; this move leads Anakin to doubt the Jedi Council and wonder what else they may be keeping from him if they  were willing to let him believe that Obi-Wan was dead as long as it suited their interests. “How many other lies have I been told by the Council? And how do you know that you even have the whole truth?”. 

I just cannot imagine why they thought they even had to use Obi-Wan for this plan. In the Obi-Wan and Anakin comic, Obi-Wan claims that there are 10,000 Jedi; surely there is someone less connected or with less attention on them who would be more suited to go undercover without the element of faking their death. Or if faking their death was necessary, surely they could have picked a Jedi who was not closely attached to arguably the most emotionally unstable Jedi in the Order. Anyone else would have been better. I don’t doubt that Anakin was telling the truth when he said, “If it was up to me I would kill you right here! But lucky for you, the man you murdered would rather see you rot in jail.”.

The Deception Arc just really grinds my gears because it really is almost like the Council wants Anakin to fall. There really is no excuse for how they use his bond with Obi-Wan against him for their own gain. The Council and Obi-Wan know full well how much Anakin loves Obi-Wan (see Anakin referring to Obi-Wan as the closest thing he has to a father in Attack of the Clones), and chose to use this vulnerability against Anakin in the worst way possible. 

This arc really sets Anakin to later doubt Obi-Wan and the Council in Revenge of the Sith, and make it easier for Palpatine to convince Anakin that no Jedi would understand him and that they would likely kick him out of the order and not help him. ( heck he even has a recent memory of the Jedi expelling a 14 year old from the Order for the sake of not looking bad in the eyes of the Senate. “I understand your sentiment, Obi-Wan, but if the Council does as you suggest, it could be seen as an act of opposition to the Senate. I'm afraid we have little choice.” i might go more in depth on this one later but this doesn’t feel like the right place as this is a post about Anakin and i don’t want to make and Ahsoka centric arc all about him).  

That wraps up the Clone Wars! Finally!

Revenge of the Sith

Ok big finale. Revenge of the Sith; so close to being my favorite Star Wars movie, but it almost made me cry in the library so its my second favorite (Attack of the Clones is my favorite). 

I’ve already touched on the dreams Anakin has of Padmé’s death in the Clone Wars segment, but it bears repeating and i have more to touch on. Im not 100% if im misremembering or not but i cannot recall Anakin ever explicitly telling Palpatine about his dreams, but Palpatine knows that Anakin fears for Padmé’s life anyway. It’s possible that Anakin just told him off screen but a fic i read recently ( It’s called give me one more night by Spongyllama on AO3 and it is so worth the read) introduced me to the theory that it had been Palpatine sending Anakin the dreams to begin with.

This theory has a good amount of legs to stand on honestly. As mentioned previously, Anakin never tells Palpatine about his dreams, but Palpatine still knows exactly what to tell Anakin to best manipulate him. Furthermore; Anakin’s dreams very likely would never have come true if Anakin hadn’t fallen; Padmé reportedly dies of heartbreak, something that could not have happened had Anakin not fallen. All signs point to Palpatine being behind the dreams (and we know that Anakin and Palpatine are close by the time Attack of the Clones occurs so it’s not out of question that Anakin may have told Palpatine about the dreams about his mother, giving Palpatine the idea to use those dreams against him later)

Conclusion

Honestly the biggest thing i think the Jedi could have improved on was just trying to understand Anakin better. The average age for entering the order is 2 to 3 compared to Anakin’s 9. Anakin entered the order years after any other Jedi, and because of that was able to remember his mother and had formed attachments (or attachment but i digress) before he had even reached the order. It should have been obvious from the start that if Anakin were to ever become a successful Jedi he would need significantly more help than the usual padawan.

We frequently see Anakin scolded for forming attachments or being too emotional (see Clone Wars s1e6-7 where R2-D2 goes missing and Anakin suggests taking a squad out to look for him “Anakin, it's only a droid. You know attachment is not acceptable for a Jedi.”(Obi-Wan) “Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.”(Yoda). etc etc)  But, to the best of my knowledge, we never really see anyone showing Anakin how to let go. Anakin lacks the tools he needs to properly deal with his emotions, so the best he can do is shove them down and pretend they don’t exist because to him that’s what a proper Jedi does. No one has ever told him otherwise. The explosion was inevitable.

Anakin Skywalker was a traumatized child who was most likely never taken to therapy or told how to deal with/ healthily show his emotions in any way other than to ignore them or push them aside on top of being manipulated by Sith Lord from a young age. With all these factors is it really a surprise that Palpatine was able to turn him?

ok im done; see yall next time ig

[ilonga]

new chapter of coppertop is out!

ao3

"The Clone Wars are over!" 

"For good."

* * * * *

The cheers are overwhelming. The Senate floor shakes with the strength of them, vibrating on its very foundations as Senators, Representatives, and aides shout and grin and laugh and cry. Palpatine, for his part, looks on from above, a cooly satisfied expression on his face. 

Anakin, for his part, grips the side of the Senate pod a little tighter instead of cheering. Or crying. This. . . this is everything he's hoped for. Isn't it?

He can't believe it. The war is over. The war is over.

He locks eyes with Padme, on the other side of the Senate. He can't tell how she's reacting.

"At long last," Palpatine continues, voice booming out through the building. The Senators quiet quickly. "Our years of hard work, of courage, of battles have come to fruition! Senators, representatives, citizens of the Republic, today we have reunited our great Galactic Republic. Today all of the people of our galaxy live under one flag. Today, everything is right with our galaxy."

"Of course," he continues, tone suddenly softer, "With this beautiful victory comes a new era, and all its necessary changes. It is with great humility and gratitude that I announce that from this moment forth, the office of the Chancellor relinquishes all emergency powers given during wartime. There is no need for them any longer. We are in an era of peace, prosperity, and. . . democracy."

He pauses and leans forward. "Let today be known as the first day of Galactic Reunification." The cheers, if possible, have returned even louder than before. "And may our children's children still celebrate it for years to come."

* * * * *

This time, it's Padme excusing herself from Bail and running at him full force. 

"Anakin," she says breathlessly, wrapping her arms around him and bringing him into a kiss. They pull apart, and words seem to fail her. They fail him, too.

They walk back to her apartment in silence, Padme smiling all the way with her arm in his. 

"It's over," she says finally, once they come to a stop in front of the door. "The war. . . the war is over."

"I can't believe it." he says honestly. Numbly. What does his life even look like without a war? Without constant deployments, a rapidly shrinking battalion, a damn near weekly electrocution session?

Huh. Wait. Do Jedi in peacetime. . . even have deadly encounters on the daily? What do they even do? Sit in the Temple? Negotiate trade deals? He tries to imagine it and finds that he can't. What does a Jedi's life look like if they're not fighting for it? What does the galaxy look like if it's not rapidly falling apart?

Padme looks up at him in confusion and he realizes he's frowning. "You're acting so strange," she says. "I thought this was what you wanted."

"It was—it is what I wanted." he rushes to say. "I'm just—surprised. That's all. It's all happening so fast."

"Should have happened faster if you ask me." she grumbles. "It's about damn time." 

He laughs as they enter, taking care not to hit his head on the doorframe. If he squints, he imagines he can see a difference between the apartment now that it's peacetime versus before.  A little brighter, he'd like to think. Cleaner. Happier. "It still feels too good to be true."

Padme rolls her eyes at him in a rare display of playfulness. "My husband, ever the pessimist." she says, ignoring Anakin's snort of protest. "It's been less than a day of peace, Anakin. We've been fighting the war for three years. Of course it feels strange."

"So," she continues pulling him towards the couch, where they collapse in a giddy heap, "how long do I have you for, this time?"

When do you need to rush back to the Temple through a side door, is what she's really asking, and he's already cataloguing—Ahsoka's not back from Mandalore, yet, and Obi-wan should be in his quarters, resting, if he knows what's good for him, but this—this is huge. The war is officially, finally, over for good. Maybe he should be at the Temple for this. Will the Council need him? Sure, his position on the Council is a joke at best and a political tug-of-war at worst, but maybe they'll need a report of the Chancellor's actions. 

He dismisses the thought with a sharp huff. If they want to know what the Chancellor said, they can just watch the broadcast from the official channels, like everyone else. No need to bring treason into it. 

The Council. . . the war is over. The war is over. Which means. . . his glance lands on Padme's hands, resting gently on her abdomen. 

"Maybe I should just get it over with today," he says, realisation dawning on him slowly.

"What?"

Anakin turns to look her in the eyes. "Leave the Order." He reaches up to brush a strand of hair out of her face. "The war is over. I can just—just go now. I'll tell the Council about us, turn in my saber, and then we can . . . I can just bring my stuff over." He doesn't even have all that much to carry—just a trinket or two, spare clothes, he doesn't even need the droid parts—He's giddy, all of a sudden. They've been talking about this, daydreaming about this, for years, and now the day is here and it's so much simpler than he could have ever imagined—Padme's due any day now— "We'll get you set up with a medcenter, and then we can go to Naboo, just like you wanted, and—"

"Anakin," Padme says, brow furrowed, "Anakin, slow down."

He stops. She doesn't sound nearly as excited at the prospect as he is. 

"You want to," she blinks rapidly, "leave the Jedi? Obi-wan? Ahsoka? Just like that?"

She sounds surprised. Why does she sound so surprised?

"You're due any day now. I don't want to leave them, of course I don't, but—we're going to be parents, Padme. A family. I've made my choice."

He half laughs. "It's not like we can keep it secret for much longer."

Padme bites her lip and looks down. "Anakin, you killed Dooku. You're half the reason this war is over. I hardly think they'll just—throw you away. Like you're nothing."

Anakin flinches at that. It's not like that, he wants to say. We knew what we were doing. We knew we were breaking the rules. "The rules—" he starts to speak.

"—are outdated." Padme cuts him off. "And we both know it."

"That doesn't mean they'll just throw them away for one person." In truth, he's not so sure how he feels about the Code and its rules. He's always felt. . . conflicted, for lack of a better word. But he's at peace with his decision to leave, to devote himself to Padme and their new family. Or. Well. He was. Now Padme's gone and dug up all his old insecurities again. 

"Fine." Padme finally says, albeit unhappily. "Fine, you go and tell them, and if they decide to kick you out, that's their prerogative, I suppose. But for goodness sakes', stop acting as if you want to get kicked out! You're a fine Jedi, Anakin. You can be both, you know. You don't need to—you don't need to martyr yourself for my sake."

"I'm not—that's not—" He cuts himself off, frustrated. "Fine."

"Good." She settles backwards, leaning against him again. Then— "Oh!" Padme says, hand flying to her abdomen. She turns, grinning, and grabs Anakin's hand—the flesh hand, that is—to press it against her belly. "Did you feel that? He kicked!"

"She," he banters back absentmindedly. Leia, he remembers them discussing a few days ago. Luke if it's a boy, Leia if it's a girl. He closes his eyes to try and sense the baby's presence, feeling a slight lurch under his palm.

It's. . . strange. Reaching for the force is strange. Like pushing aside a heavy curtain. He strains for a few seconds before finally—there. The presences are distant, far more distant than they should be, and he has a momentary lurch of panic but they're there, light and joyful and alive in a way—

Wait.

Presences?

"Padme," he says numbly, reaching again and—Yes. He's right. "There are two."

Padme pales rapidly. "What?"

"I—twins. There are two."

She gapes at him, blinking rapidly, then glances down at herself then back up again. "The med droid—oh, force, when I told it to keep it a surprise I didn't mean the number of babies!"

"We'll manage," he says, pushing past the shock. Two—two babies. Will they have Padme's eyes or his? Blond hair or dark? And two—sithspit, this makes the force-sensitivity question even more complicated than it already was. They'll have to adjust the nursery, for sure.

"I didn't—I didn't know." she says with a slightly bitter edge. "I should have known."

"Padme, you're the strongest person I know." Anakin says firmly. "And this is on the med droid, not you." 

"Really," she says wryly, changing tone. "Even Obi-wan? Yoda? Ahsoka? Your men?"

 "The strongest," he promises, biting back his grin. 

Padme takes a breath. "If it's two boys, I'd like the other after my father. But if it's two girls. . . what do you think of naming her Shmi?"

Oh.

"That's—wonderful." He blinks back sudden tears. "Thank you."

Padme pulls him into another kiss. Lighter, this time.

"You should probably go now." she says softly.

"Yeah," he says, swiping at his eyes with the palms of his hand. "Yeah, I will. Love you."

He hears her murmur it back as he turns to leave.

* * * * *

The Council Chamber is silent.

He'd waited for the end of the meeting to make his confession—a bit cowardly, he knows, but he's already rocked the boat enough as is. The meeting itself had been shorter than usual, with an air of relief permeating the room. They'd watched the broadcast from one of Master Ti's holos, once, twice, before Master Windu confirmed what they already knew—yes, it was completely genuine. Then, plans to demilitarise. Then—

He'd spoken up.

Now there's silence.

His comm beeps. He startles then determinedly ignores it, waiting for a reaction.

"To be completely honest," Obi-wan speaks first. "I can't exactly say I'm surprised." He looks around, making eye contact with the others. "Well, surely I can't be the only one."

To Anakin's surprise, there are a few light giggles. Master Ti is even smiling.

"Subtle, you have not been." Yoda agrees. "Subtle the Senator has not been, either."

"Like a pair of star speckled Alderaanian love wrens," Shaak Ti agrees.

He gapes.

To be fair, it was probably easy enough to guess that he'd harbored feelings for Padme—and maybe even that she felt the same for him. But for force's sake, they'd expected the marriage too? The children?

That's a bit. . . much. 

His comm beeps again.

"Should you wish to leave the Jedi Order," Mace says, looking as amused as the rest of them, "that is, of course, your decision. But—" He looks around and seems to find the agreement he's looking for. "I believe this discussion can be tabled for now. The war is over, after all. You have fulfilled the prophecy."

 Okay, this is definitely not what he was expecting. What had happened to "You will be expelled from the Jedi Order, Anakin,"? "Attachments are forbidden,"?

He's relieved. Incredibly relieved. But also. . . 

Unsatisfied.

And he remembers—he hasn't fulfilled the prophecy, actually. There's a Sith—a dark side user—in the Senate, leading the Senate, and he's just let him be. He hasn't even told the Council. And sure, nothing bad seems to have come of it—it's Chancellor Palpatine for force's sake, the man could hardly hurt a fly—but still.

He closes his eyes and tries to find some equilibrium.

But—

Something in the force is recoiling, echoing, empty and vacant and cold.

He frowns.

"Master Windu, are you. . . feeling alright?"

Master Windu glances up in confusion. "Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

"The force feels. . . strange. Around you." He struggles to find more words to explain it and finds that he can't. It's just. . . an ache. A devastating ache. With a strange twist to it.

Master Windu frowns at him. "I don't feel it." He pauses. "Are you absolutely certain this. . . feeling of yours is centered around me?"

He closes his eyes. No, he realizes, it's not just Mace. This strange thread of—of wrongness echoes throughout the Chamber, curling around various Council members with an icy chill.

Reaching for the babies' force presence had also been strange, Anakin remembers, trying and failing to squash his panic. They'd felt—so far away. Or maybe it was he himself that felt removed. This is the second time that reaching for the force has felt off—what's happening to him? What the hell is going on?

His comm beeps yet again.

"Answer that, you may, young Skywalker." Master Yoda says from his seat. A few others hum in affirmation.

He switches it on.

"Anakin," comes Padme's panicked voice, strange and staticky through the receiver.

"Anakin, I think the babies are coming."

[agoddamn]

It's not like TCW has zero good moments, you know? I keep thinking of that three-second exchange between Ahsoka and Anakin in front of the queen where she's stiffly like "unhand me, brigand!" with all the grace of a middle-school class play and somehow Anakin manages to spread his arms and say "come on, are you serious?" using only his eyebrows.

That was genuinely a great little moment! Great voice acting, effective visuals, lovely, efficient characterization. Ahsoka not knowing how to play 'weak', Ahsoka's simultaneous stiff line delivery contrasted with her physical overacting, the way Anakin trusts her enough and cares for her enough (and also isn't very good at acting) that he only offers correction via eyebrows (ie, someone more committed to the deception might have had a more in-character reaction).

Excellent, funny character moment.

If it hadn't been in a scene predicated on "let's put the fifteen-year-old in a sexy outfit and sell her into slavery".

Just--there were so many ways to do this! Even if it had still had to be a cartoon slavery episode, if it hadn't had the unsettling sexual undertone--if Ahsoka had been excited about subterfuge and performance and "look, look at my trudging! I look so beaten, right?!" (and hadn't been in a sexy dancer outfit in a palace full of scantily-clad women in a series that regularly uses sex slavery as a matter of breezy set dressing) instead of annoyed and reluctant--if Anakin hadn't put her in the situation with such a dismissive shrug ("I'm much better at playing the Master!")--if, if, if--

At every turn, the worst possible decision got made.

It makes the moments that are good feel almost like backhand insults. I want to point to them and ask the devs, "this proves you know how to set mood and characterize via subtext so why do you pretend to be unable to do this everywhere else?"

This show keeps trying to have its cake and eat it too by shoving a handful of dark/sad/horrific scenes among light-hearted quip-filled action. The whiplash kills its ability to say anything. These characters keep feeling like they've been cut-and-pasted from a different show.

[hrtiu]

“Give me a heated argument. A good solid disagreement. And also the making up of it later :) I really think this is a hard one”  Thanks to @redsong​ for the prompt!

AO3 link

Strictly speaking, Ahsoka didn’t really need to escort the Togruta colonists back to Kiros. It was a low-risk mission without any need of Jedi support, but Anakin had suggested the trip and Ahsoka had eagerly agreed. Ahsoka so rarely got to see the good that came from their efforts in the war, so rarely got to see the fruits of their labor. Accompanying the people she’d helped free from the Zygerrian slavers—her people—seemed like a good way to wash the foul taste of such a brutal, soul-crushing mission from her mouth.

She and the rest of Torrent Company flew the transports down to the the colonist settlement on the verdant planet’s surface, and the looks of relief on the colonists’ faces as they walked back into homes they thought they’d never see again eased some of the darkness that had settled on Ahsoka’s heart. First Umbara, then Zygerria—these past few months had been particularly bleak.

“Thank you so much for bringing us back to our homes. We cannot express the depths of our gratitude,” Governor Roshti said as he walked with Ahsoka and Rex into the Governor’s residence.

“It was our pleasure, Governor,” Ahsoka said.

“We will be holding a celebratory feast tomorrow. Please, stay and attend as our honored guests.”

Ahsoka glanced at Rex and the corner of his mouth quirked up—his version of an encouraging smile. They were hoping that Kiros would officially join the Republic, so it wouldn’t do to ignore their hospitality.

“We’d be honored.”

---

Ahsoka sat at Governor Roshti’s right hand at the head of the table, Rex on her other side. The table was heavy with Togruta delicacies—thimiar steaks, roasted cepa, even akul stew. She’d never really lived among her people, so Ahsoka didn’t have much of a taste for Togruta food, but she ate as much as she could handle to show her appreciation. At her side Rex enthusiastically bit into another hunk of thimiar steak, his enjoyment completely unfeigned.

“Maybe you were born into the wrong species, Rex,” she said, leaning over towards him. “You seem to fit right in as a Togruta.”

Rex looked up from his steak and sheepishly wiped the savory sauce from his mouth. “Sorry, Commander, I just don’t often get a chance to eat anything besides ration cubes.”

“Don’t apologize,” she said. “It’s flattering to our guests to enjoy their food.”

“Is that a Togruta culture thing?”

Ahsoka shrugged. “I’m not sure. I never spent much time on Shili.”

“Maybe you’ll get a chance to go someday,” Rex said, his eyes crinkling with the suggestion of a grin as he held her gaze.

Ahsoka found herself smiling back at him, a warmth in her chest making her feel light a giddy. She looked away quickly.

It had been like this since Rex had gotten back from Umbara, and it was terribly inconvenient. It had taken his near loss during that campaign to reveal how necessary he had become in her life, how his presence was like light—illuminating and coloring an otherwise dark world. She did her best not to think about it. Thoughts led to actions, and if she ever acted on these thrilling, terrifying feelings, she knew her life would change irrevocably.

She shoved another spoonful of akul stew in her mouth and forced the foreign food down, turning back to the Governor to compliment him again on the delicious feast. Then she took a sip of the madyam wine, easily her favorite part of the meal.

“Are you sure General Skywalker would approve of your drinking?” Rex asked, speaking softly to avoid being overheard.

Ahsoka shrugged. “They don’t have the same rules about underage drinking on Shili. And I’m not overindulging. It’s fine.”

Rex looked a little doubtful, but he let the subject drop.

The feast wound down and Governor Roshti showed them to their quarters. They’d be staying in the house of one of his daughters, in a guest suite that was as luxurious a home as anyone had access to in the colony. The rest of Torrent Company went back to the transport to sleep, but Rex was invited to stay with the family as well, having been heavily involved in the Zygerrian operation.

Governor Roshti’s daughter Daivi, a stately woman with elegant purple montrals, led Ahsoka and Rex to their rooms. The feast had gone late into the night, so the house was dark and the rest of the family already turned in for the night. At least, that’s what Ahsoka had assumed before a little boy no older than five darted out of a hallway and ran up to her, grabbing her hand.

“Are you a real Jedi?” the boy asked, bouncing with excitement.

“Yalit!” Daivi said. “What did I say about pestering our guests?”

“Oh it’s alright,” Ahsoka said with an indulgent smile. She crouched down to the child’s level and patted his red montrals. “I sure am a Jedi!”

“So you can use the Force?”

“Yep!”

“Can you do stuff like this?”

The boy reached out a hand and something in the air shifted. A ball halfway across the room—some toy must have left out—suddenly started rolling towards him, completely unaided. The room fell utterly silent.

The ball reached the boy and he gathered it up in his arms, then looked up at the adults surrounding him, staring slack-jawed. “Did… Did I do something wrong?”

“Sweetie,” Daivi said, her jaw tense, “It’s too late for you to be up. Go to sleep now, alright?”

Yalit looked around him, his eyes wide and his lower lip quivering. “Ok…” 

He hugged his ball tightly to his chest and walked dejectedly back to the hallway from which he’d come. The adults in the room watched him leave, then Daivi moved onward towards the guest quarters.

“Um, your son-” Ahsoka said, shocked that Daivi would just pretend nothing had happened.

“He’s a good boy, isn’t he?” she said with a nervous laugh, still soldiering on towards the door across the room.

“He’s Force sensitive!”

Daivi froze. “We… don’t know that.”

“He moved the ball with the Force! And I felt it—it was definitely the Force and not some random accident.”

Daivi turned around slowly, her white facial markings appearing especially pale in the dim lamplight. “If true, that is a great blessing,” her expression not matching the sentiment of her words.

“He should be brought to the Jedi Temple and trained. He needs to learn how to control his abilities,” Ahsoka insisted.

Daivi bit her lip, and her hands twisted nervously in front of her. She looked at Ahsoka pleadingly for a long moment, but Ahsoka had no idea what she was pleading for. This whole situation was making her confused and uncomfortable.

“Please, Master Jedi,” Daivi said, bowing her head low. “Yalit will be fine with us! He… he really doesn’t have very strong powers. He can barely do anything. It would be a waste of time for the Jedi Temple to train him.”

“That’s just because he’s not trained! If he were trained he’d pick up so much!”

“It… It… He’s too old, isn’t he?” Daivi said, looking near tears.

Was she worried her son wasn’t good enough? That was silly, Ahsoka was telling her the Jedi Council would be pleased to have him. It was strange that they hadn’t picked him up earlier, but she knew that children sometimes slipped through the cracks. The galaxy was such a big place.

“He’s a little older than the Temple usually takes, but I’m sure they’d make an exception-”

“Commander Tano,” Rex said, taking her by the arm and pulling her towards the guest rooms. “It’s late, and our host looks tired. Let’s talk about this tomorrow.”

Ahsoka looked up at Rex in confusion, but his stony expression revealed nothing. She let herself be pulled, though, trusting his judgment.

“Well, thank you so much for hosting us, Daivi. We’ll see you in the morning,” Ahsoka said, following Rex into the guest suite.

“Good night,” Daivi said, her voice small in the retreating darkness.

Rex shut the door behind them and stopped in the middle of the room, his back to Ahsoka. “Are you really going to take that child away from his parents?” he asked, his voice low and calm but with an underlying tension that Ahsoka had learned to pick up on over time.

Ahsoka looked blankly at him, not sure what was wrong. “The Jedi Temple is the best place for any Force-sensitive child to grow up. It’s an honor to go there—a rare opportunity very few people are ever given.”

“Hmm,” Rex grunted, neither agreeing nor disagreeing but simply accepting.

He set their luggage down on the table in the middle of the sitting room and started for one of the guest rooms off to the right.

“Wait up, Rex,” Ahsoka said.

He stopped but didn’t turn back towards her. “Yes, Commander?”

Ahsoka pursed her lips. He was doing that thing. That thing where he disagreed with her but wouldn’t just come out and say it. “Come on. I know you have something to say.”

Rex’s head bowed and he shook it once before turning to face her. “It’s not my place to have opinions about the Jedi, Commander.”

“Well, I’m asking you for it. What are you thinking?”

He looked up, meeting her gaze with his own steely stare. “I don’t think you should take that child away from his family.”

Ahsoka raised her eyebrow markings in surprise, genuinely taken aback. Her first instinct was to say it was Jedi business and he wouldn't understand, but then that’s what he’d said and she’d insisted he tell her anyway. “Oh…”

“As I said, sir. It’s not my place to have opinions.”

Ahsoka’s brow furrowed. She knew Rex would follow whatever orders she gave him, but that wasn’t the point. She wanted him to agree with her. “It’s not like we’re stealing children from their parents, Rex. He’ll have a good life at the Temple—the best life. He’ll have training he can’t get anywhere else, a safe home to grow up in, a place of privilege and respect galaxy-wide. Most parents are thrilled when their children are identified by the Council.”

“Most parents, maybe. But obviously not these parents.”

“What are you trying to say, Rex? That it’s bad when the Jedi Council invites children to go to the Temple?” she said, getting annoyed. “That it was bad when I was taken to the Jedi Temple? That Jedi are kidnappers stealing unwilling children away from their parents?”

“I don’t know if that child is willing or not, but his parents clearly don’t want him to leave them. Are you going to take him anyway? Because if that’s what you’re planning on doing, then yes, I think it’s bad!” Rex said, his voice rising in volume with each word. By the end of his speech his skin had reddened and his golden-brown eyes flashed. Ahsoka had never seen him this angry before. Angry at her. Judging her way of life.

“Have you even considered that if the Jedi Temple don’t train that child, someone else might? Someone with bad intentions? Someone from the Dark Side?”

“He’s made it this far without being noticed by any Force users, so he’ll probably be fine.”

“Look, Rex. This is how it is for all Jedi. I won’t apologize for my people and our traditions.”

“You asked for my opinion, Commander.”

“Well, that was when I thought your opinion might be reasonable!”

Rex narrowed his eyes at Ahsoka and folded his arms across his chest. “You were taken before you could even remember your parents, but that’s not true for this child. He’ll remember his parents, he’ll remember that they willingly gave him up to strangers to be raised on a faraway planet. I won’t pretend that I understand all the Jedi ways, but I know something about not having parents.”

His words cut her like a vibro-blade, slicing right through everything she’d prepared to counter him. Ahsoka had never been one to shy away from conflict, but she’d never been in such conflict with Rex before, and it hurt. She wanted to run away and hide. She needed to find a way to end this conversation now.

“Well I don’t have much of a choice in the matter, anyway,” she said, arms crossed and shoulders hunched up under her jaw. “The Council has protocols for these kinds of situations, and it’s out of my hands. Judge me all you like, but that’s the way it is.”

Rex sighed and unwound his arms, letting them fall to his sides. “Look, little’un. I’m sorry. This is your world, and I trust your judgment. I’ll follow your orders.”

“Thank you.”

With that he retreated to his room, and Ahsoka gathered her things together and went to the bedroom opposite his. Sleep was a long time coming that night, and visions of Rex’s disappointed, angry, sad face haunted her dreams.

---

The next day dawned bright and clear on Ahsoka’s misery. Rest had provided little comfort, since sleep did nothing to fix the disagreement Rex. Yes, Rex had told her he’d follow her orders, but she didn’t want him to follow her orders because he’d been trained to no matter what. She wanted him to follow her because he believed in her and believed in what she was trying to accomplish.

What the night had done was provide Ahsoka with space to consider Rex’s points. She’d been raised at the Jedi Temple, and she knew what that life entailed. She’d rarely missed her parents—barely remembered them, really—and the Jedi masters, padawans, and younglings had been her family. It was a good life, and she knew that firsthand.

But maybe Rex had a point. Her parents had willingly given her up, and as far as she knew, the same was true for the others younglings at the Temple. As much as she didn’t want to accept it, Yalit’s parents obviously didn’t see their child being trained at the Jedi Temple as a blessing. And… well Ahsoka and Rex were both equally parentless in most respects, but he obviously felt differently about it than she did. His perspective was valid, even if it was different from hers.

Ahsoka got up and got dressed for the day, thoughts stewing all the while. Daivi knocked gently on her door and invited her to breakfast, so she emerged from her room and found her way to the dining table. 

The table was set with sizzling thimiar bacon and plom fruit, but Ahsoka found she didn’t have much of an appetite. Daivi and her husband sat at the head of the table, their expressions tight with worry, and Yalit sat next to Ahsoka, smiling and oblivious. Rex was across from her, shovelling thimiar bacon into his mouth and avoiding her gaze.

Ahsoka could speak up. She could explain that the Jedi Council believed all Force-sensitive children should be trained at the Jedi Temple, that it was a great honor, and that Yalit would be well taken care of for the rest of his life. She knew his parents wouldn’t object. The Jedi were a powerful organization in the galaxy, with near mythic status as warriors and defenders of the Republic. How could they refuse?

And Rex would support her. As he’d said last night, he trusted her. It wasn’t just that he had no authority to contradict her, he trusted her. She wanted desperately to be worthy of his respect.

She cleared her throat, and the eyes of everyone around the table turned to her. Daivi took Yalit’s hand in hers and squeezed.

“I think I may have had too much to drink at the feast last night,” Ahsoka said with a weak laugh. “I can hardly remember anything after getting home.”

A confused expression crossed Daivi’s face, then understanding dawned. Ahsoka thought she saw tears forming in the older Togruta’s blue eyes.

“It was a long night, Master Jedi.”

“It’s my own fault. I can’t resist madyam wine, and I’m not allowed to drink it back on Coruscant.”

“Well, you should take some with you then!” Daivi said, getting to her feet with a smile that was heartbreakingly hopeful. She rushed over to the pantry and pulled out two large bottles of wine—drink that Ahsoka knew was a luxury in this fledgling colony.

“Oh no, I couldn’t-”

“Please! Take it!” she said insistently, her eyes intense and pleading. She held the bottles out to Ahsoka, and Ahsoka took them, understanding that this was what the grateful mother wanted.

“Thank you for your hospitality,” Ahsoka said, holding the bottles in her arms and getting to her feet. “We should be on our way—my Master is expecting us.”

Their hosts agreed and helped them pack up their things, insisting on carrying their luggage for them all the way back to the transport. Ahsoka and Rex climbed up the gangplank, and Ahsoka turned back to wave goodbye before getting aboard. Yalit smiled broadly at her from his perch in his mother’s arms, his red montrals jiggling back and forth with the force of his wave. Daivi and her husband clung tightly to each other like they’d just escaped slavery a second time. Ahsoka felt a pang of hurt, that they would be so averse to their child joining the Jedi, but she let the pang pass.

Soon enough the transport was in hyperspace, and Ahsoka hid in her quarters. She sat on the floor in a meditation pose, but serenity would not come. She simply stared at the floor, thinking of everything and nothing at once.

A knock sounded at the door.

“Come in,” she said.

The door whooshed open and Rex walked in, a bottle of madyam wine in each hand. “Can I join you?”

“Sure,” Ahsoka said, still staring at the floor.

He handed her one of the bottles, then opened the other for himself, taking a long pull before setting it on the ground. Ahsoka opened her bottle and followed suit, the sweet liquid clinging to her throat as she swallowed.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Rex said eventually.

“I know,” Ahsoka said, taking another drink from her bottle. “But your opinion means a lot to me. And I could see his parents wouldn’t take it well.”

“Thank you for listening.”

Ahsoka looked up and met Rex’s eyes, daring a small smile. He returned the smile, his eyes crinkling again in that way she loved. “I can’t promise I’ll always side with you,” she said, “but I’ll always listen.”

[nanagoswife]

Please Don't Go. - Chapter 15

Summary: Obi-Wan finally meets Aldoken.

W/C: 4.2k

Warnings: angst

A/N: we have reached the chapter where I mention something from Master and Apprentice by Claudia Gray. It isn't really huge, but it's there.

- - -

“How was that to start this off?” you asked with a sweet smile.

“It actually gave me more confidence. Even though I know you hadn’t planned that, thank you.” His smile was genuine as he looked down at you.

“Time to meet your son,” you say quietly, slowly leaning towards his lips. “Our son,” you finished before briefly pressing your lips to his.

All he did was nod, slightly afraid to speak now that this was really happening. Never in his life did he think he would ever have a family, a child. Until he met you, he never dreamed of things like that. For the first twenty-four years of his life, he thought the closest he would ever get was having a padawan of his own.

That thought was quickly dashed when he met you nearly fourteen years ago. Since then, he wished to bring that, not only for himself, but for you. As he stands here now, looking at you as you say your farewell to Cody, he’s mad at himself.

There was no way to tell how much pain he caused you over these years. And on top of that, he left you to raise their child alone. In a way, it wasn’t his fault, but it really was. Had he kept the promise he made to you, this wouldn’t have been happening. Instead, he would’ve been by your side and greeting Aldoken with warmth instead of hesitance. He would’ve been there, holding your hand as you had given birth to him. The years would’ve been happier with all of you as a family. Together.

Obi-Wan didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve you or the right to be introduced to his son. He didn’t deserve your unending kindness and love that never faltered. Why, after all he’s done, did anyone take him back?

His thoughts were pushed away when he heard you calling out to Aldoken after having a brief chat with Padmé. He watched as the boy easily came running into your arms when you knelt down onto the floor. As he hugged you, Padmé had said her goodbye.

“Guess what?” you say, pulling away so that you could look at your little boy.

“What?” he replied with his usual happy tone. He giggled when you brought a hand up to brush his fringe back.

As he watched, Obi-Wan couldn’t help but think how overwhelmingly Aldoken looked like him. He could see as many of your features in him as he could see his, but there’s no mistaking who the father is. Even if people like Cody, Padmé and Anakin had not known about the two of you, they would be able to figure it out in a heartbeat.

Playfully, you pinched Aldoken’s cheek which caused more giggles to erupt in the silent room.

“I have a little surprise. Can you do what Anakin taught you and find out?” Like you did with Cody, you angled your son just enough that, unless he took his attention away from you, he could easily see Obi-Wan standing not far away.

Aldoken’s expression became serious when he nodded. Closing his eyes, he reached out through the force so that he could determine what you meant.

For a moment, you let your gaze fall on Obi-Wan. There was a look of wonderment across his face. It was almost like he hadn’t realized that his son would also be force sensitive. There was a small smirk that was pulling at the corner of his lips as he must’ve felt Aldoken’s energy brush against his.

The boy’s eyes shot open and he immediately turned his head to look at Obi-Wan. This is where Obi-Wan wasn’t sure if he was going to laugh in pure joy, or burst into tears at possible rejection. It didn’t get any better as his son only looked at him for a few moments.

The uncertainty started to build as Aldoken walked away from you and, almost cautiously, walked towards Obi-Wan. He could tell that the boy was piecing something together, like he couldn’t believe that he was no longer only looking at a holo.

Then, his expression changed as the realization hit him. He was no longer looking at a holo.

“Daddy?” he said, in the softest, most innocent questioning voice Obi-Wan had ever heard.

Tears of joy were building up as he trembled and, in a breath, replied, “Yes.”

Aldoken smiled, large, and ran the last few meters to his father. Obi-Wan bent down and lifted the boy into his arms. He gripped him tight as he felt as the boy’s legs did their best to wrap around him.

As he exhaled, his breath shuddered as so much was running through his mind. You looked on at the pair and started to tear up. This was a moment that was long overdue; a moment that, for a while, you thought would never happen.

Obi-Wan caught your gaze and smiled. Maybe now he could set things right. Provide you with the life that he cruelly ripped away. Maybe, you would have him back the way it was the day he proposed.

When he thought of that, it was only then that he realized that you still wore the necklace. Had you been wearing it the whole time? Or had you only just recently put it back on?

None of that mattered, though. Not when he was holding his son who seemed to be grappling to him with as much emotion as he was. His small head was pressed into the crook of his neck, fluttering eyelashes gently tickling the skin there.

Usually, he’d chuckle at the sensation. Right now, it was something he never wanted to part with. Obi-Wan basked in the feeling.

Aldoken suddenly bolted up to look at Obi-Wan, a giant smile on his face as his own bright blue eyes couldn’t decide which one of Obi-Wan’s to settle on. His tiny hands were planted on top of both sides of his collarbone.

Carefully, Aldoken brought one hand up to rest a hand on Obi-Wan’s cheek. It was something he was doing to both help make the final tie of the bond with his father, but it was also to feel the coarse hairs there. He had always been fascinated with facial hair, but hardly any of the clones he knew well had it. Cody would always let him play with his hair, but that wasn’t the same.

He giggled lightly, just like you had when you first ran your fingers through his scruff. It warmed his heart as he felt the small hand. Aldoken brought it up so that he could feel the hair on top of his head. When he lightly stroked the strands, his eyes glowed with an idea.

“May I show you something?” Obi-Wan now saw what you meant about him being mature for his age. Even the younglings at the temple his age acted this politely and maturely. He knew it well as he was often a favourite among all of the masters that would give them lessons and they would always come to him with questions.

It was something that you had witnessed a few times on rare visits to the Temple when an issue with the Sith arose. They would absolutely swarm him as he escorted you through the halls. He always said you were good with kids, but he was exceptional.

Never being able to refuse, Obi-Wan would always accept, just as he did now. Aldoken slightly wriggled, asking silently to be let down. When his feet touched the ground, he tugged at the sleeve of Obi-Wan’s tunic. Usually it would be his cloak, but he had taken that off some time ago.

Intrigued, Obi-Wan followed as Aldoken was leading him to his room. When he looked around, it oddly reminded him of his own room that he had gotten when he was still young. There were even a few items that used to be his that lined the nearly empty shelves. Other than that, there were toys of clone troopers, a stuffed varactyl toy, and lots of books. The books must’ve been from your home planet, as yours was one of the few that still actively produced things with flimsiplast.

The varactyl caught his attention as well. Obi-Wan had fond memories of the creature. He only wondered if you had passed on those stories to their son and he caught on. Well, he is your son, he mused.

Lastly, what really surprised him, was the multiple holos of him. One holo that you and him had taken the day he proposed was sitting on a table beside the bed. There were a couple of others. One of him and Cody, another with both Anakin and Ahsoka, and lastly, one of him and Qui-Gon on the day that Qui-Gon was well enough to stand again.

You weren’t lying. You didn’t keep Aldoken away from knowing who he was. If anything, you gave him almost every detail that you knew. He wondered how much Anakin and Cody may have said as well.

“Daddy,” Aldoken’s slightly concerned tone cut into his thoughts.

You came up behind him and placed a hand on his shoulder. “If this is too much, just let me know,” you say softly. He shook his head. Sure, there were a lot of emotions running through him as old memories flooded with the present, but he didn’t want to leave now. He wanted to know more, see more.

Bringing his attention back to his son, he now held an elegantly engraved box. In the center was the Jedi Order logo. Accompanying it were some intricate details that gave a sense of beauty to it. There was something familiar about it for Obi-Wan…

“Momma and Uncle Ani gave this to me. They said if you ever came back, that I should give it to you,” Aldoken said proudly. He looked to you who was giving him a rewarding smile.

Almost cautiously, he knelt down in front of Aldoken. Now that he was closer, and aid from feeling through the force, he now knew why it looked familiar. This was a box that Qui-Gon had kept for many years. As a padawan, he never knew why the box was so long, and his master never told him.

“You must be patient, Obi-Wan,” he’d say whenever Obi-Wan asked what it was. “In time, you will learn what this box is for. For now, it remains my personal secret.”

As he looked on, he was almost hesitant to even touch it. He had no idea what he was about to see.

Obi-Wan stared at the box for a few moments, only distracted when you came to kneel beside him. Taking a quick glance at you, he gave a small smile as he also felt your hand fall upon his back, rubbing ever so gently.

Diligently, Aldoken held the box, waiting until his father either took it or opened it. Finally, Obi-Wan took a deep breath before relieving his son of the box. Carefully placing it on the floor, his fingers moved to the latch which easily was undone. Slowly, he lifted the top open and was overwhelmed by a flood of emotions.

Inside held only three things. Each item was a mark of some sort of milestone Obi-Wan had reached throughout his life.

The first was a feather from the varactyl he had ridden so long ago on Pijal. That had been the first animal he had ever had such a strong bond with. He had stolen a moment with the varactyl in the stable the day they had to leave. Whether Qui-Gon picked up the feather as they walked out of the stable or some other time, Obi-Wan didn’t know.

Second was his padawan braid. There were so many different milestones woven into these strands of hair. Most of all, it signified the time they spent together as master and padawan. They may have had some rough patches, but the friendship had always lasted.

Lastly, sitting right in the middle, giving Obi-Wan the answer to a lifelong question, was Qui-Gon’s lightsaber. This was the item that finally brought tears to Obi-Wan’s eyes. When he had left in his dark place, he had at some point dropped his master’s saber. Believing you had been killed, he thought it was forever lost on Alderaan’s moon. But, you had brought it back and completed his master’s collection.

Seeing that he was upset, Aldoken moved and hugged around Obi-Wan’s neck. Obi-Wan accepted it quickly and moved his arms around his son. In the process, he pulled him a little closer, still making sure he didn’t squeeze too hard.

The tears didn’t fall, but Obi-Wan did take several shuddering breaths as he composed himself. He suddenly felt calming energy pressing into him through the force. It shocked him, but he knew it was Aldoken. Anakin must’ve taught him that. Especially if it was related to how you were feeling on days through these years.

“Thank you, my little one,” Obi-Wan said before pressing a kiss to the top of the boy’s head.

When he pulled back, Aldoken was beaming. Not only was he proud of his success, but he loved the endearment that his father gave him. There was nothing that he didn’t love about this boy, and he had only just met him not long ago.

“Aldoken, have you ever seen a real varactyl?”

The boy shook his head, “Only on holos.” The disappointed tone made him feel like either laughing, as he knew you would’ve answered like that, or actually feel like his heart should drop at hearing the way he said that.

Obi-Wan elected to give him a smirk, “Here.” He grabbed the varactyl feather and gently took Aldoken’s hand in the other. “This feather was from the first varactyl I had ever ridden.”

Aldoken’s eyes flew wide open in disbelief. Obi-Wan chuckled at the reaction as he brought the feather into better view. The scarlet was beautiful, as it always was. It had always been something that fascinated Obi-Wan. Clearly, even without seeing them firsthand, his son felt the same way.

“Now, when you touch it, make sure to be gentle. The barbs are delicate, but soft,” Obi-Wan said, bringing Aldoken’s hand to the feather. He let it go so that the young boy could do it on his own.

Aldoken’s smile only grew as he gently stroked the scarlet feather that was from an actual varactyl. It was nothing like the ones on his toy. This was real.

Watching the boy’s fascination, he couldn’t help but think, Was that what Qui-Gon always saw? It had always been a wonder that his master put up with him. Especially when it came to those days surrounding and during his time on Pijal.

Now, it’s time to pass on the favour.

After letting his son have a few more moments, he put the feather back into the box with the other items. With a quick glance, he could see Aldoken was dying to ask what the other items were. He silently chuckled to himself. He would tell him the rest soon enough.

“Now, you know how you said that this was mine,” Obi-Wan started, one of his hands resting on his son’s shoulder.

He nodded quickly in response, head tilted in a curious way, wondering why he was bringing this up.

Obi-Wan gave a soft smile, “It isn’t anymore. Do you know why?” Aldoken shook his head. “Because, I’m putting you in charge of taking care of it. It’s now yours.”

Not only was Aldoken shocked, but he felt a wave of it come off of you in the force. Although your face was painted with a grin, you could never truly hide your emotions from Obi-Wan.

The boy started to sputter, trying to say something that Obi-Wan knew would be to politely refuse, but he held up a hand. The sputtering stopped.

“This way, you can have a varactyl with you at all times. Not only that, but you have me and my master along with you. No matter what, we’ll always be with you in this box.” Closing the lid and putting the latch back in place, he handed it over to his son.

Hesitantly, he took it in his hands. Looking at it, he traced over the Jedi emblem with a little finger, quietly saying a shy, “Thank you, daddy.”

Glancing at the chrono on the wall, Obi-Wan realized that he needed to leave. Even though he needed to, he didn’t want to.

You had noticed the sudden shift in Obi-Wan. Catching his eyes when he looked at the chrono, you knew what he was about to say. At the same time, though, it looked like he was truly fighting his decision to leave.

He didn’t want to suffer anymore. The pain that he had to go through to disguise all of this was absolute agony. It was like a candle had to make its flame small so that the dark would have a harder time finding it. And he had to do it every second of the day until he came to see you.

But, he had to do it. He wasn’t able to stay if he was to keep up the act.

Before standing, he caught your eye for a moment. Obi-Wan saw your dejected look, telling him you knew that he had to leave.

He knew you wanted to ask him to stay. You wouldn’t, though. It was almost like the day he said he would leave The Order for you if you wanted him to. You didn’t want him to, as you didn’t want him to leave the life he knew.

Now, you didn’t want him to risk his safety for you. Obi-Wan hasn’t been able to gather enough courage to tell you the torture he’s been through, but he didn’t have to. The day you saw one of his scars peeking out from his collar had told you enough.

It’s not that he didn’t have scars before, but the one you saw was new. Not only that, but it was really new. Before you were able to fret over it, he assured you that he was alright. Even though you didn’t entirely believe him, you let it go. You knew he’d tell you when he was ready.

“I have to go,” he said, keeping his voice from showing his true unwillingness. He knew he didn’t have to voice it, but he did anyway.

“I know,” you said, letting your disappointment be heard.

Turning to Aldoken, he looked just as upset as you. The way his lips pulled down in his frown even looked the exact same as yours. This was the first time tonight that Aldoken had anything less than a neutral expression.

The boy’s eyes were fixed on the floor. It was like he didn’t want to watch him leave. Like he didn’t want to watch his eyes as they turned back. It was just like how you always looked away, not wanting to see his pain.

“Please, daddy,” Aldoken said quietly, still looking at the floor. For a moment longer, he stayed silent until his eyes came back up to meet his. “Please, don’t go.”

Those words rang in his head. It brought Obi-Wan back to that day. The day you had said those exact words, but he didn’t listen. He had turned around, but he never actually listened.

Now, as he looks at the one who he thought he would never meet, he can’t bring himself to do the same. He would never turn away again, whether it meant his life was on the line or not. Never again will he leave you and his family behind. Even with as small of a statement as this.

Obi-Wan looked up at you. Even though he knew you were trying to hide it, he could see that you also wanted him to stay. You always did.

Slowly, he nodded. A smile grew on his face as, with each nod, he was more and more certain about his decision. If both you and Aldoken wanted him here, he would stay. He wanted to stay. Obi-Wan wanted to be loved by you and Aldoken as if these last four years never happened.

Then, he looked back at his son. “Alright,” he said quietly. “I won’t go.” To Obi-Wan, those words held more meaning to you and him than it did to Aldoken. It was an indirect way of making the same promise he had made many years ago. This time, there was a certainty in this promise that he never had before. He would never again turn away from the light, from you.

Aldoken’s smile once again was plastered on his face. Without any more hesitation, he ran up and hugged Obi-Wan before pulling away and running into the sitting room again, cheers of joy loud in the near silent apartment.

Obi-Wan stood back up and turned to face you now that you were alone for a moment. After a few silent moments, you closed the distance and practically fell into his arms. He pulled you close and kissed the top of your head as he felt your breathing hitch, telling him that you were crying.

This had been what he wanted for so long. All he had wanted to do was hold you. Whether it was to comfort you or just for the sake of doing it, he didn’t care. Now he had that, and he wasn’t going to waste it.

“I can sleep on the-”

“You will do no such thing,” you said, whipping your head up from its place on Obi-Wan’s shoulder. “I miss having you to hold me at night.”

“I missed it too,” he replied, looking down as a small feeling of shame creeped in.

“Hey,” you said, using a hand to bring his face back up. “It’s over now. The past is the past, and we can’t change that, but I still love you. After all this time, I never stopped loving you,” you said softly, leaving your hand on his cheek.

Leaning into it, he closed his eyes. He wanted to feel every little bit of warmth and comfort your palm granted him.

Then, he felt as your soft lips pressed to his. The hand on his cheek gently made its way to the back of his head as he kissed you back. He held you close and relished this small moment with you. His decision to stay was already making him the happiest he had ever been since the day the two of you found out you were pregnant and then he proposed.

“Momma! Daddy!” Aldoken called out from the sitting room. “Are you coming?” he asked. The two of you burst into laughter. Now the two of you will learn that moments like this don’t last long with a toddler present.

With a smile, the two of you made your way out to your son. The rest of this night will be one to remember.

-

Obi-Wan woke up to a light shaking at his shoulder. Until this point, this was the first night in years that he hadn’t had a nightmare. He was glad, otherwise he would’ve possibly woken up a lot more violently.

“Daddy,” Aldoken whispered while continuing to gently shake Obi-Wan until his eyes opened.

When his eye laid upon the young boy, concern swept through him. Aldoken was hugging himself and was shaking where he stood.

Turning on his side, he asked, “What’s wrong, little one?”

“I had a nightmare,” Aldoken replied. His voice sounded shaky, like he had, or was about to, cry.

“Oh, buddy, come here,” Obi-Wan said while opening his arms.

His son didn’t waste any time going into his father’s arms. Aldoken mushed his face into Obi-Wan’s neck as he wrapped his arms around the boy. He could feel as the once shaky breaths started to even out and become steady. The boy’s pounding heart had even slowed to a more steady and calm rhythm as well.

“May I sleep with you and momma? So the scary dreams don’t come back,” Aldoken said, muffled from his place still in Obi-Wan’s neck.

“Of course, little one.”

Once Aldoken was calm enough, Obi-Wan helped him climb onto the bed. He adjusted just enough so that their son could lay in between the two of you.

His heart warmed when his son curled under his arm, using his shoulder as a pillow. Breathing a contented sigh, he looked over at you before closing his eyes again. You were facing him and had a small grin spreading your lips.

After Aldoken made one more adjustment in comfort, Obi-Wan let his eyes close once again with a smile. This was a moment that he wished would never end.

- - -

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