#and allow him the space to talk about it

[tamsiblings]

"none of us want the alliance on us, doctor, that's why you're here."

"i thought i was hear because you needed a medic."

such an interesting exchange because this is a thread throughout the whole episode - everyone wondering - or making assumptions about - why, exactly, mal let simon and river stay on board. (which checks out timeline wise. i don't think we're supposed to assume more than a few days, at most, have occurred between the pilot and now.)

here, simon makes the assumption that it's because he is useful as medical personnel. which is not an unfair assumption; that IS part of it, and it's how mal frames it to him. but it's certainly not the only reason; they got on alright without a doctor on board prior to this. i do think that having a doctor on board is very useful, because mal and zoe are not trained medics, even though they have field experience, and there is realistically only so much they can do. even still - it's not the only reason.

book, of course, outright asks mal why he did it. he is trying to work mal out, and, i think, trying to get mal to admit something he really doesn't want to.

jayne assumes that the only way mal would allow them to stay is if he planned to turn them in and get something out of it. this says a lot about jayne - not only his own worldview, but that he thinks mal is much more like him than he actually is.

kaylee, of course, doesn't think mal is even considering it, and considers it a deeply immoral idea. says something about what she thinks of mal, too - and whedon's been quoted as saying he intentionally wrote kaylee as a character whose almost a barometer for the audience - she's so lovely and sweet and has a natural charisma, and if she believes something, the show wants you to believe it, too (and when that something turns out not to be the case, something has gone terribly wrong.)

the question of mal's sense of morality is really the central theme of this episode - he may be a thief and a scoudrel, but he has limits, and those limits include stealing medicine from a bunch of sick working class people.

he looks out for him and his own and doesn't like the risk of the alliance on them, so, when it comes to simon and river, why did he let them stay?

mal is trying for sarcasm here, lmao, but really, even though he didn't want to admit it to himself or anyone else: this is the reason. there's no better disguise for a truth you're reluctant to admit than saying it sarcastically!

[rains-starlight]

(xavier ramble that i posted on discord and now u get to read here <3)

so. my main faves are xavier (main), rafayel, and caleb. and i was thinking... what's pulling me to xavier over the other two? (especially caleb LMAO) i feel like i'd commonly go with the outspoken clingy dramatic boys (raf) or the 'childhood best friend' archetype (caleb) but something about xavier captivated me.

when i first started looking to him, i felt like there was waaay more than meets the eye for his character, and that's intentional, since he wants to live a quiet life, but has so much history behind him.

aside from differences in personalities and preferences (i love raf but irl im not a sea or seafood person, and i love caleb but.. but nothing. xavier just pulls me in more LMAO), xavier to me truly has that sneak attack for your heart.

he's awkward, and silly, and insanely powerful on the battlefield. he loves reading comics, playing video games, and being delusional about his cooking skills. he's a rock that you can always depend upon in a quiet life. he's cheeky and gets easily jealous, but would much rather pout and be sulky than direct that to you. its adorable. as xavier and caleb are jokingly deemed the 'possessive' duo, caleb's possessiveness to me could go left (affectionate, i know why), whereas i feel as though xavier's stems from just wanting to capitalize on your attention. he has someone in his life that he cares deeply about, its only natural for him to be a little clingy about it.

on top of the fact that he's just a good friend in of itself, keeping an eye on you and making sure you take care of yourself without crossing a boundary. he loves being around you so much so that he admires the person you are, and wants to be that type of person himself. he relishes in being recognized by you in a world where he's only ever known as an entity to be utilized, rather than a person who has feelings and passions.

'this is the first time someone's asked me to play support' he says, which sounds normal at face value, but its definitely something to be unpacked: he's not used to being the person that supports, he's used to being the leader, the strong hunter that needs no one to finish the job, the crown prince that's above all else, the leader of the backtrackers, the elusive lumiere… now he just gets to be xavier that supports his friends. he thinks of himself as a nobody, someone who used to be 'everything', not out of personhood, but out of necessity. being able to be seen by someone he loves despite everything is by far the greatest joy in life he could ever have. and i love him SOOOO MUCH FOR IT!! im sure all of the lads love mc and they make their life better by being in it, but for me, there's something so comforting and lovely about xavier growing into a person he wants to be because someone he loves makes him want to figure out who he is for himself. because the person that loves him will love him at his core regardless of who he decides to be. thats why he gets jealous because mc looks to lumiere, and im sure she's picked up on that too. he loathes the idea that she loves someone that isnt him. obviously, lumiere IS him, but it's not 'him' in the sense that it's a persona, an idea, a hero. xavier… simply thinks of himself as a man who quietly lives in his apartment and goes to work like everyone else. he doesnt have a tether to anything other than just wanting to live life the way he wants to, after living so many lives that were not given by choice. at least… not until mc.

but as an addendum to this rambling, he's just!!! great and i love his personal journey and how it intertwines with mc at the core of it. im happy he gets to be in a world where he can live a quiet life!! and his joy is by far something that leads me to him over the other lads.

-- (i love him in his entirety and i think i havent found that spark with the other lads yet. caleb is a close second though, his relationship with mc is so silly and they have such a sweet bond that im sure he cherishes. his devotion, affection, and love languages are to die for.

but i think xavier's way of being there for you and picking up the cracks when you cant or before you even realize appeals to me more. thinking about precious bonfire clips i saw and how he took every opportunity to stay by and support mc and how he looked after her, made sure she was having fun, and allowed her to use him as a scapegoat so that she didn't get burnt out or the call where he saw she was alone at a team building thing at the bar and offered to leave with her since she wasnt really keen on hanging out to begin with he's just. so sweet. hes always thinking about the small things and wants his favorite person to be happy because it makes him happy :> this doesnt even go into the smaller nuances or traits that i love about him. maybe i'll do a post about it or just how personality wise i feel like if i were to bond with anyone irl xavier would be #1 in a landslide.)

[ctrl-lupin]

Pizzaz!

[rubenesque-as-fuck]

Oopsie daisy, we accidentally spent almost 5 full hours in my room 🥴 damn I had truly planned on buying him a nice dinner after sex too

[irkeninvaderzim]

Today, I bring you Dad nar. Tomorrow? Who knows. READ THE TAGS PLS RAHHHH

[askchilchuck]

Do you support Kamala?

No idea who that is.

[meowsticmarvels]

i think i mightve talked abt this a bit in my longpost about how insane phi as a character is to me but yknow what i really wanna point out? all the nonary game shit she has to go through happens in really quick succession to her - she doesn't really get a proper "break" in between VLR and ZTD for her mentally. junpei and akane at least have about a year between the two, and sigma has 45 years (not that either of those situations were particularly good either though, looking at how sigma and junpei especially turned out, and sigma spent years WORKING on the AB game, just not participating in it). but for phi? she has a matter of DAYS in between the two. the time sigma spends she spends in cold sleep, so mentally to her, her consciousness goes from the events of VLR's phi end to DCOM almost instantly. dcom only ends up lasting for about 5 days, and even then the prologue states that phi/sigma/akane spent most of it worrying about radical-6 and the future + the flashback with diana shows phi is just so Tired after everything after just that. and then the decision game happens. my point is just that i cannot imagine being in a death game like that (not to mention everyone had radical-6, so she went from a body that Did have it to one that didn't, which i can imagine would probably a pretty weird experience considering one of its symptoms is messing up your perception of time. and also she was on the moon.), spending 5 days like god how did the apocalypse start i can't let it happen this time and then being in Another death game that is much more gruesome and violent. not to mention both of them in a way HAD to happen because of her (2074 nonary game bc it needed to train sigma and phi's SHIFTing abilities to a good enough degree and decision game one of the reasons was to ensure she and delta were born). in summary: i would fucking die at that point if i was phi dealing with that All At Once. in the span of a few days. and with the memories of my + others' deaths. what the fuck

[mbat]

ppl could never make me hate redemption arcs because... fuck, wouldnt you also hope you could be loved despite your worst moments? that your worst moments wont define you forever? that theres still good for you even if youve done bad, as long as youre trying?

[monstersinthecosmos]

i feel like slightly younger than marius mael is the best just for flavor reasons lol. reeaally curious to know what you think

I think I usually land on slightly younger but not like a baby. Like early 30s maybe. BUT I'LL TELL YOU SOME THOUGHTS OF WHY I LIKE EACH OR WHY EACH COULD WORK:

Under 30: First of all because of Jesse's chapter in QOTD--Maharet was turned around age 20 I think? And for Jesse, I'm sure there's that sort of uncanny thing where your mind fills in blanks and makes excuses, like, her "aunt" has been around her whole life so like gee golly I guess she just looks young for her age! Except that there's like the vampire uncanniness too, so whatever you judge as an age doesn't super matter. So like, Mael blending in as one of her guy friends in his early 20s would make sense. Jesse DOES also clock him as not being human, so again I think the uncanniness might not make her peg either of them as a certain age.

I do worry if this clashes with the idea that he could properly be a priest? Caesar said that it takes 20 years to train a priest, but A) A lot of what Caesar said is like anti-Keltoi propaganda and might not be accurate since the Druids famously never left anything in writing, so there's very little first hand information about them. B) MAYBE IT'S OKAY BECUASE IN VC-VERSE TESKHAMEN IS REAL AND MAEL WAS REALLY COMMUNING WITH HIM SO IF THERE WAS LIKE MAGIC AFOOT IN THE COMMUNITY MAYBE HE GOT FAST TRACKED OR RESPECTED AS BEING SPECIAL IDK. I can work with it and make excuses lol.

I LOVE the idea of him being like a young man because of how much madder that would make Marius, plus the way he likes to mentor young blonde men lol. But it might like hurt him even worse if the author of all his misfortunate is like SOME KID.

In his 30s: Personally I usually land here because I DO wonder how long it takes him to gain status in his community and become a priest (in his 30s is still fast tracking it but maybe feels more plausible LOL) and I enjoy the idea of he and Marius being sort of similar to each other. Like, Marius often gets used as the example of Turning an Older Guy and what it means for his temperament and the way it translates to his immortality. I like imagining Mael as around Marius's age for that reason, like I want to remove all his excuses why Mael is a young stupid kid or even an old salty jerk--it forces Marius to confront that Mael is ALSO someone who is chill and smart and has had enough life experience. BUT WHILE THERE'S A WINDOW WHERE THEY COULD BE SIMILAR IN AGE, OR MAEL COULD BE A TAD OLDER, I ALSO STILL ENJOY MARIUS BEING LIKE "HE'S YOUNGER THAN ME I HATE THIS!" BECAUSE HIS AGE AND SELF-PERCEIVED WISDOM & EXPERIENCE ARE IMPORTANT TO HIS IDENTITY AND HE FEELS BELITTED LOL.

In his 40s: Makes sense for the above reason! But I like to skew younger personally just for the Marius ageism dynamic lol. Also there's something about him being a foil to Marius where like, if they're very similar in other ways it can kind of emphasize how their atheism/religion contrasts each other and affects them as people.

Over 50: ALSO POSSIBLE and it's hilarious bc in the audiobook the narrator reads him like such a grouchy old man lmao. I could see this causing a lot of resentment because Marius likes to be the oldest and wisest in the room. I could see him also being younger because Marius insults him every chance he gets and I just think he would've told us that Mael is like an old hag if it were true lol. Anyway wondering how this effects Marius's barbarian kink and how he submits to men.

[lilcathsmith]

Greg in every episode of CSI (87/328) • Down The Drain •

[fideidefenswhore]

[Henry] had asked Lady Shelton whether Mary [was] persisting in her obstinancy. Hearing that she was, Henry became certain that she was being encouraged by secret communication from Katharine. Lady Shelton thought the only possible messenger was Mary's chamber woman. In this she was correct. The maid had been smuggling letters in and out. She was dismissed, as was Mary's confessor, to be replaced by one whom Chapuys characterised as 'Lutheran'.

The King’s Pearl: Henry VIII & His Daughter Mary, Melita Thomas

[oooohno]

I’m watching Downton Abbey & DAMN this is good

[littlebittywildflower]

Have I said how much I love my husband recently???🥰

[silencedrage]

of course i am at work but i'm thinking about van and travis and how they are the survivors who really bought into lottie's woo woo in the wilderness and how that still comes back to haunt them in different ways. and i think about how nat connects them because she's so important and integral to both of them (to ME) but at the same time, they develop their own little bond outside of that. i can see them having maybe kept in touch post-rescue for a little bit, which eventually falls off, but thinking about how nat and travis are trapped in this cycle that van and tai are also trapped in

and then thinking about van hearing about his death, which probably wouldn't even be until after everything that happens? because when did they have time to bring up travis while they were dealing with the sharing shack and adam and lottie having her own psychotic break

so it's just van in the aftermath, mourning both nat and travis, and they don't know how to talk about that grief bc yeah travis and nat were awful for each other in many ways, but he was still their friend and went through the same awful shit they all did and even though he "didn't believe in any of that shit", it still haunted him and drove him to death and van has to sit there and wonder whether coercing him to eat his own brother was the worst thing they ever did to him

[cosmics-beings]

i actually ship cyclonus and starscream very hard y'all. i just think that cyclonus can heal and be vulnerable for himself around starscream...at least in my aus with them.

[please-picturemeintheweeds]

Why do you care what Joe Alwyn thinks?

That’s a good question! I think a big part of it is that instinctual protectiveness about Taylor bc of how many people I’ve seen hurt her. It’s not unlike how your ears perk up if someone is talking about something an ex of your friend said about her. Chalk it up to parasocialism maybe haha I also just am nosy and find it more interesting/light hearted than doomscrolling. I do think I tend to care more than is “normal” to care about a total stranger (so is Taylor), but that’s why I’m here on the special interest website to post and read posts about Taylor swift’s cinematic universe, idk. I don’t ever seek out information about what he thinks, but if I encounter it organically in the swiftie ecosystem I don’t feel the need to pretend I didn’t hear it. Im not really interested in the moral purity contest around being a swiftie. I like gossip and I like chatting with the girlies in my phone about pop culture idk and I like feeling righteously grouchy about loser dudes I guess.

maybe more deeply, I think I care what he thinks because it gives me a window into how this man carries himself, and how his opinions/actions may have effected my girl Taylor and her art. It’s so rare to get insight into how he ticks, so when something comes up, it fleshes out my mental picture of him. For someone who was sooo honorable for not talking shit with their friends, he sure talks a lot of shit!!! If he doesn’t want me to hate him, he shouldn’t keep staying stupid shit about Taylor 🤷🏼‍♀️

I tend to not care at all about his existence/thoughts most of the time, but when he’s blabbing publicly about Taylor, that feels more fair game (I know none of it is actually ethical. in particular the last piece we were discussing which was something someone overheard him saying, and not a consensual quote, I think).