#and also please ignore how it wouldnt make any sense for them to be on a crt tv

[lightbluesleeper]

gordon freeman plays super punch out

[wassupmygays]

ummm hello I would like way more about hunger games au pls I'll take anything wheres Jimmy where's Tango wheres Scar from I will take whatever you give me I will go feral over this thank you

!!!! ok first off i just wanna say u made my day with this ask im so excited that other people r excited abt this and want to hear my explosions (also i definitely want to make individual profile posts for each tribute so this will be. sparknotes of what i have thought up so far :D) Tango - i have tango in district 3, along with mumbo. district 3 is the technology district, and with mumbos redstone contraptions and tango's decked out programming, it felt very obvious placements to me :] i dont think they were very close at all before the games. not in a bad way, just they didn't cross eachothers paths all that much (subject to change but in life series canon theyre never on the same team iirc). theyre cordial in the proceedings before the games but dont train together or plan to team up. tango, skizz, and bigb eventually ally together during the training days before the games! (aka heart foundation) Jimmy - jimmy and scar are actually from the same district, district 11! 11 is the agriculture district, and to place jimmy in this district i pulled from his ranchers and empires sheriff vibes if that makes sense. i also just know that 11 is one of the poorest districts and doesn't usually do well in the games, and we all know jimmy in these games. (i considered jimmy in 12 bc of the canary thing, but skizz and impulse r from there and i figured putting him somewhere else is fun too!) scar - as said above, scar is from district 11! i don't think he is expected to do super well in the games from the reaping, but during interviews its clear that he has the charisma to get some sponsors. i honestly haven't thought up all that much for scar yet but dw i will (he literally wins. how could i ignore him) fun fact! scar and jimmy were going to kind of team together, but during the first day of training, scott (career tribute) makes some joke to gem about how they wouldnt stand a chance if they teamed together bc of their district. jimmy let this get in his head and decided to split from scar, causing both of them to be loners at the start of the games. jimmy eventually finds martyn during the games and they ally bc of reasons (that i can get into if we want to), but scar stays relatively alone honestly most of these tributes and their district placements are pretty set in my mind, except for martyn, cleo, and bigb, who i still can't figure out where to put (if anyone has suggestions pls send them lmao). ive got some bits and plot points from the series already worked out into a hunger games universe, but a lot of it i dont! if theres any specific part of the series anyone wants to ask about, please do!! i work best when someone tells me what to brainstorm on lmao. anyways lol hope yall r liking this! i dont have any clue if it will gain any traction, but i've been thinking abt this au so much since the finale and i wanted to try and share it and talk about it with people :D pls send comments or asks abt any of it if you want to !!!

[puhpandas]

You Stress Me Out

(4,135 words)

Gregory shows up at Evan's house during a storm with a wood carving knife stuck in his stomach. It may not be that bad of a wound, but that doesn't mean having a knife sticking out of you is any less scary. Or that Evan will freak out any less.

warnings: blood, mentions of a fistfight, an unsafe home environment, stitches, and of course, a blade being stuck inside flesh

Evans incredibly on edge right now. Which, nothing new here. But this time, it's less of his normal state and more of a genuine, rational kind of edge.

First off; a storm is on it's way. Not only does a storm mean that outside is a no-go, meaning that Evan is trapped inside his house with no way to leave, but hes absolutely terrified of thunder.

Which is why as soon as he'd heard about the bad weather, when his fathers back was turned and Michael had been focusing on something other than messing with him, he'd snuck to the kitchen, grabbed all the snacks and water he could need, and took them to his hidden stash in his bedroom.

This way, he didnt have to leave his room. And he could do his old trick of blocking the door leading from the shortest route to his room with his dresser, which could give him enough time to shut Michael out if he decides to persist on the other side.

Unlockable doors. The bane of Evan's existence.

The other reason hes on edge isnt because of himself, even though his body is locked up and sense, waiting for the thunder to start booming outside and send him flying off of his bed from how hard he flinches. Its because of Gregory.

Evan's brows furrow from his place on his bed, curtains drawn, but just open enough to see the rain start so he can brace himself. He takes one look at the gray clouds and white sky and frowns deeply.

Evan knows all about his friends... situation. Honestly, after being friends for almost a year, you'd think he would have known sooner, but nope. Evan had just been giving Gregory the benefit of the doubt too much. when Gregory'd refuse to let Evan go to his house, he'd assume he had parents like his, who he didnt want Gregory to have to see either, which was why he had been asking. When Gregory would have new bruises and cuts and rips in his clothing the next time Evan would see him, he would deliberately choose not to pry, or wonder, because he would think maybe it was worse than he thought.

But Evan had figured it out eventually, and he'd understood why Gregory kept it from him so long. Evan wouldnt want Gregory to see him differently for being a certain way.

But like Gregory, Evan had made it clear he didnt. He understands, really. Like he understands that with the knowledge comes the worry.

Evan knows Gregory doesnt always have stable shelter. The city and it's people arent so kind to homeless people like Gregory, even when hes outside and theres about to be a hurricane. Which is why Evan is hoping, wishing, praying that Gregory will come to Evan, this time.

It's why he's reading a book, sitting on his bed next to his window instead of on his phone like usual. Evan's on edge because he cant stop thinking about what would happen to Gregory if he didn't come, and if he does, will Evan hear him to let him in.

Evans room is on the ground floor, which makes it very easy for Gregory to come and go as he pleases (also for Evan to make an escape when he needs to. It's not rare for Evan to ditch his room to flee to the city with Cassidy, sometimes).

Evan's eyes trail over the words on the pages, but he isnt taking them in. He huffs, letting the book drop to his lap, and tries to ignore how cold-but-on-fire his stomach feels. He can't focus. Not when Gregory's supposed to trust Evan enough to come to him when he needs help and he hasnt yet.

Evan only waits a while longer, foot tapping on the side of his comforter and fingers drumming. When the first few thick drops of water land on his window, he goes for his phone.

Gregory said to never call him unless it's important. But right now, with how much Evan's stomach swims with nausea over uncertainty about Gregory's safety, Evan thinks this is important enough.

Evan only has enough time to enter his fifteen digit pin and tap the phone app before the sound hes been waiting for rings out by his window.

Evan can feel his shoulders drop when the familiar jingle of a Fazbear song is knocked on his window. He smiles, hurrying over to his window and almost ripping the curtains off the wall with how fast he opens them.

When Evan reaches to open the window, Gregory's there, if not a bit weary, if his half lidded eyes and the cut on his cheekbone are any indication, but Evan doesnt worry too much. Just unclicking the locks on his window and helping Gregory step inside when its apparent he needs help.

He has a hand clutching at his stomach, which is worrying, but Gregory looks like hes okay. Not about to die, which is what Evan's thoughts always end up going to, so he thinks that's a good thing.

Evan shuts the window and locks it just as the rain starts to drop harder, and he shuts the curtains, sending a glance at his door (the one not covered up with a dresser) out of paranoia. When his father doesnt burst in and send Gregory away like Evan's imagining, he turns his attention back to Gregory.

Hes huffing, like he cant catch his breath, which makes Evan furrow his brows. Gregory's bent over, like when you have a stomach cramp and try to curl in on yourself as much as possible. If Evan looks hard enough, he can see the inklings of bruises on Gregory's knuckles.

Evan frowns. Okay, probably a fight, but it wouldnt be the first time he would have to pull out the first aid kit.

"Gregory." Evan catches his attention. Gregory's eyes dart up to him, and he offers a shaky smile. "Hey. You had me worried sick."

"Me too." Gregory says, but it sounds strained. He still has that hand pressed firmly over a spot on his stomach, and when he looks pained, Evan guides him over to his bed, letting him sit down. "I know you don't like thunder and stuff. A-And you'd be stuck with Michael.

Evan crosses his arms, trying to look stern but coming off as incredibly worried instead. "Gregory. You're acting weird." He points out. "Listen, I know you're hurt. You know I've seen you get into fights before. Can you just tell me what's wrong?"

Gregory, suspiciously, looks away, focused on one of Evan's toys hes had since he was younger that he never bothered to put away. "Um. I-I dont think this is like those times, though."

Well. If Gregory can be this difficult, he cant be feeling too bad. Doesnt do anything for the anxiety digging a hole in Evan's stomach, though. "No matter what it is, you need help, okay? I wont judge. Just let me patch you up."

Gregory doesnt respond for a moment, then, "Promise not to freak out."

"What?"

"Promise not to wig out." Gregory meets his eyes, looking pained. "This is gonna make you freak. I know it. Just... try to stay calm. It's not that bad, I swear."

"Just show me already!" Evan presses, getting jittery from nerves. "You saying that is already making me freak out!"

"Okay! Jeez." Gregory huffs, and takes a deep breath. "Just dont look at it too hard."

"Gregory!" Evan yells.

"Okay, okay!" Gregory says placatingly. He doesnt say anything else, just takes his hand off of his stomach like ripping off a bandaid.

Evan's eyes blow wide, and his legs turn cold. "Oh my god."

"There it is." Gregory sighs.

"Gregory." Evan says, just above a whisper, because he cant manage anything louder at that moment. He stares at Gregory's stomach, feeling a pit in his own stomach when he cant tear his eyes away. "Gregory!"

"I told you you'd freak out." Gregory mutters, like he doesnt have a literal knife sticking out of his flesh.

"Why would I not freak out?!" Evan whisper yells, because wow he does not need his father or Michael to walk in right now. He gestures wildly, trying to put all of his emotions I into the single movement. "You have a knife in you!"

Despite what Gregory said not to do, Evan looks hard at it anyway. It isnt super deep; it's one of those really tiny pocket knives, like what you would use to carve wood with. He can still see some of the blade sticking out, which means the inch and a half long blade isnt plundged very deep.

"I know." Gregory says. "Can you help me get it out?"

Evan gapes. "Help you--" He giggles maniacally. "Gregory, if I pull it out, I'll have no clue how to make it so you wont bleed out."

"Well," Gregory glances away. "I cant really go to the hospital, and I cant just leave it in." He says. "You're my best bet. Besides, I promise it isnt that bad. It could have been way worse. I dont need a hospital."

Wow. No pressure, or anything. Evan implodes, shaking his hands out and doing laps around the room. "I'm gonna have to pull a knife out of you."

"Okay. Stay calm, remember?" Gregory repeats, and when Evan's facing Gregory's direction again after another lap, he can see him wincing. "Look, I know you're wigging out, but I really dont want this knife to me stuck inside me anymore."

"I would assume so!" Evan hisses, coming to a stop in the middle of his room and wringing his hands through his sweater sleeves. "Gregory--"

"Okay, listen." Gregory sounds strained, and Evan takes a moment to pause, worry taking ahold of his stomach like a giant hand and squeezing. "You have a phone, don't you? I need you to Google what to do, and pull this stupid knife out of my stomach."

Evan gets queasy just thinking about it. "Gregory."

"I know." He says. "But, look. I'm not gonna be awake much longer, since I pretty much ran from the city to here while I was bleeding, and the guy who attacked me had already beat me up a bit before stabbing me."

Evan's heart seizes at that. He returns to Gregory's side, sitting down with him. "But, isnt it not good if you're unconscious--"

"I dont know." He interrupts, eyes squeezed shut. "Look, I'm feeling kinda woozy, so I dont know how much longer I have left, but I'll try to stay awake."

Evan frowns. "You're acting like you're gonna die or something." He jokes, but his hand shake at the thought. "...Okay. Come here."

Gregory perks up, sitting up with great effort and putting an arm around Evan's neck when he gestures to. "We're doing this?"

"Yeah." Evan says shakily. He supports Gregory as he leads him lay down, pressed up against the wall, where if the door opened, hed be hidden behind it. Evan grabs a few of the towels he hides in his room to always have a clean one, -since he can never rely on laundry being done in his house-, and lays them under Gregory to soak up any blood. His father would kill Evan if he got the carpet stained with blood.

Evan grabs the first aid kit he always has hidden under his bed, and clicks it open, settling on his knees in front of Gregory's slack form on the floor with hovering hands as he glances at each of the kits contends uncertainly.

He grabs his phone, fingers trembling and pressing all the wrong buttons. Gregorys harsh breathing doesnt help.

"How did this even happen?" Evan asks as he desperately types in 'how to pull a wood carving knife out of your stomach at home' into the search bar. "Like-- I know you get into fights sometimes, but this?"

"Okay okay." Gregory coughs a bit. "Ill tell you. So, you know how it's about to storm?"

Evan glances at the crack through the curtains just enough to see the dark gray clouds swirling. "Yeah."

"So, I wasnt at my usual spot, but it was really close to starting to pour. And getting sick is like, the worst case scenario." Gregory says while Evan reads the random article he found at the speed of light. "So, I had to find some other place closer to where I was to wait out the storm, because I couldnt travel that far in the rain."

Evan pauses in reading, frowning and looking at Gregory's face. "You know you can always come here, right?"

Gregory frowns, looking away. "Yeah, but..." He trails off. "Its not fair to dump my problems on you like that."

Evan scoffs, breathing out a light chuckle. "Like you didnt dump your problems on me right now. And even then, I dont mind. I would much rather you come to me then be in pain somewhere else. Okay?"

Evan doesnt look at Gregory's face, too busy looking down at the article he has pulled up on his phone in his trembling hand, but he can tell hes smiling.

"Also, don't act like you don't make my problems your own, too. Im allowed to do the same as well, you know."

"Okay, okay." Gregory huffs. "I get it. I'll come to you right away next time. Happy?"

"Yes." Evan says, and he really is. Knowing that Gregory is sure to come to Evan when the weather gets bad, or something happens that makes the city unsafe, Evan will be able to sleep soundly knowing Gregory will either be safe with him, or he will be if need be. "You never finished telling me how you ended up with a pocket knife stuck in you, though."

"Right." Gregory chuckles. "So, I find this kind of hidden away spot, right? And I'm thinking I got really lucky, and set my stuff down. But then this other older kid shows up, and its obvious hes like me. But he gets really mad that I'm in his spot and starts yelling at me to get out."

"Jerk." Evan says, pulling the things he needs out of the first aid kit. "You should help eachother out, not fight. I'm sure he could have lended you some space."

"I'm sure you would have." Gregory chuckles. "But anyway, I'm packing up my stuff to leave, because this guy hurting me is a bigger concern than the weather at this point, and I dont want to mess with him."

Evan nods along, and goes to begin, but pauses when the first step is to take out the knife. Nausea curls in his gut, and he winces, glancing at Gregory.

"Hey." He cuts Gregory off in his story, and tries to look as apologetic as possible. "I, um. Have to take the knife out."

Gregory's eyes blow wide, and he frowns. "Oh."

Evan fidgets, having no idea how to make this better for Gregory. "Do you want me to count to three, or...?"

"Just do it." Gregory puts that steely exterior on. "I can handle it. Just do what you need to do."

Evan feels awful; this must suck for Gregory. Even if the knife is small and not very deep, having something sharp ripped out of your flesh cant be fun. "If you're sure."

He props himself on his knees, getting as close to Gregory as possible, and wraps a hand firmly around the small handle of the wood carving knife.

He can see it in Gregory's eyes. Neither of them want to do this.

"Keep telling your story." Evan says softly. Maybe itll distract Gregory from it, even a little bit. And Evan, as well. He can already feel bile working it's way up his throat at the thought.

Gregory nods minutely, jaw locked and tense. He breathes out a bit. "...Kay. So, I'm trying to tell him that I'll leave if he let's me get my stuff, but hes really impatient, and when I dont leave right away, he tries to scare me away faster by beating me."

Evan winces, pointedly twisting his neck away from the knife, as he tightens his grip, anticipation sending lightning through his veins. "That explains the bruises." He says shakily.

Gregory pauses, waiting for something that doesn't come. "...Yeah. He uh, he got me pretty good... but he didnt leave unscathed either. But, I think I got it worse."

"Definitely." Evan agrees ghastily, his stomach rolling when he feels the cold handle of the knife pressing idents in his skin. "Keep going."

Gregory gives him a look, but continues. "...So when I start fighting back, even though I'm smaller, he took that as a bad thing, apparently, and wanted me gone so he didnt get hurt. So what does he do?"

Evan doesn't respond, just squeezing his eyes shut, biting his tongue, and ripping off the bandaid.

Evan rips the knife out with a quick flick of his shoulder, and gags when it makes a fleeting metal-on-flesh sound as its removed. Gregory lurches lightly next to him, making a garbled, suprised sound, and when it's over, just lays flat on the floor.

"G-God." Gregory coughs, stuttering. "Okay, that wasnt that bad. I guess."

"I'm sorry." Evan frets, flinching and dropping the knife on the towel when some of Gregory's blood drips down his fingers. "I'm sorry, Gregory."

"You didnt do it." Gregory chuckles, his face white as a sheet. He brings up an arm to clutch at a spot just above the wound on his chest. "Jesus."

"I'll fix you up." Evan says softly, setting a hand on Gregory's own and taking it away just as quickly when he rushes to go wash his hands. "Okay? It might hurt, but you'll be okay. I'll make sure of it."

"...Kay." Is all Gregory says, and Evan rushes faster when he just let's his head fall against the floor.

When Evan comes back, he all but dives onto the floor, grabbing the things he layed out on the carpet and beginning. "Gregory, hey!"

"What?" Gregory asks, and Evan sinks in relief when hes still awake. He rolls up Gregory's shirt, inspecting the wound, and he finds it looks more like just a deep cut than anything. "I know you're trying to stay awake, but I'm probably gonna have to find a way to close this cut, so you might want to go ahead and go to sleep."

Gregory pales. "Like, stitches?"

"Probably." Evan shudders. A wave of sickness washes over his body when he realizes hes probably gonna have to find a needle and thread, and stitch Gregory's flesh closed, even if the cut is only an inch or so long. "Better safe than sorry. And I really dont think having a wood carving knife stabbed into you, even if it wasnt that deep, is okay to just put a bandaid over."

"...Alright." Gregory sighs, and his head rolls against the floor, his body relaxing. "I don't want to be awake for that."

"Me neither." Evan huffs, and Gregory breathes the air of a laugh through his nose. "But I think you'll be okay. Just sleep, and you'll be patched up when you wake up."

Gregory sighs a deep sigh, and Evan thinks it sounds like deep relief just settled. "Okay. Thank you, Evan."

"Of course." Evan replies, and when Gregory shuts his eyes and no doubt falls asleep pretty quick, Evan glances around his room, and realizes hes gonna have to go on a scavenger hunt for a needle and thread.

He sighs, hoping and wishing that he wont run into his father or Michael when he has to venture out of the safety of his room, but he relaxes at the moment, taking in a deep breath and reaching for some supplies.

First, he has to clean the wound.

🐻

When Gregory creaks his eyes open, it's not to Evan's carpeted floor like he had expected. Well, he is on the floor, he finds when he finally takes in his surroundings. But he isnt laying down completely. Some pillows and blankets have been posed and laid around him, like a nest, and Evan is sitting next to him in the middle, scrolling and watching something on his phone.

Gregory twists his neck and puts pressure in his arm, trying to prop himself up. He yawns, and Evan startles, taking out the crappy Walmart earbuds he'd bought. "Gregory!"

"Hi." Gregory groans, feeling the effects of his fistfight and intense sprint take hold, his body groaning and aching with soreness at his movement. He feels warm; which is something he wasnt expecting when he'd initially thought he'd spend the span of the storm outside in it. "Ugh."

Evan shuts his phone off lays it and his earbuds on the blanket, twisting his torso and shimmying in his spot laying against a pillow against the wall and legs covered with a throw blanket to face him. "You probably dont feel too good."

"Like crap." Gregory agrees. When he shifts again, back and head cushioned against two pillows without cases on them, he can feel the sore sort of throbbing pain of whatever stitches Evan had sewn in him. He wrinkles his nose at the thought, feeling guilty on Evan's behalf. "But... the stitches feel secure. I'm sorry you had to do that, it must have sucked really hard."

"It did." Evan shudders, but chuckles at the same time. "You know, I had to go in my Moms room to get the needle and thread and steal the pills from my Dad."

Gregory quirks a brow. "What pills?" He asks at the same time Evan hands him a small bottle of Advil. "Oh."

Evan hands him some snacks, too. A water bottle and some crackers. He smiles softly and takes them, taking two Advil with a swig of the water bottle. "You did all that for me?" Gregory asks, voice small. "...I know you hate your Dad, and your parents would get mad at you if they saw you snooping."

"I know." Evan says, fidgeting with one of the blankets and laying his head on the pillow propped against the wall. "But I wanted you to feel better more than I was scared of my parents."

Theres a short stretch of silence after that, only the harsh rain and wind against the house being heard. Gregory stays silent, turning over Evan's words in his head.

His eyes burn slightly, but he pushes it down with precise practice. "Thank you" Is all he can find in him to say. Theres too many feelings, too many emotions he has to put them into words.

But Evan knows him, and Gregory knows he understands when he nods, and smiles that small, kind smile that just screams 'and I'd do it again'. "Of course." Evan insists, and looks away for a moment. "I want you to trust me, okay? I want to show you that if you come to me because you need help, I'll be here, and I wont discount you, or-- or shrug you off."

Gregory doesn't smile, but he feels warmth spread through his chest at that. Gregory knows Evan, so he knows exactly why he would want Gregory to feel that way. He knows exactly why Evan holds himself to that, even though Gregorys confident a lot of it has to do with just the kindness in Evan's own heart.

"I-I know." Gregory whispers. "I came here because I do trust you. I came here because I know that."

It's really hard for Gregory to say that, and he knows Evan understands, because he doesnt comment, just nods, relief sagging his shoulders.

Theres a short burst of silence for a moment, the two of them just soaking up the atmosphere of being warm and comfortable, despite the circumstances.

"You're staying here, by the way." Evan's voice rips him out of his thoughts suddenly, and Gregory snaps to attention to see Evan looking at him sternly, but worriedly. "I know you're gonna try to say something stupid about how you're fine to go back into the rain. You arent going anywhere near the city, alright? I don't care if the storm lasts a week. I'll find a way to hide you so Michael or my father dont find you, okay?"

Gregory snorts at Evan's intense voice, but his heart bursts all the same. "Okay, Evan. I promise."

"Good." Evan sounds appeased. He twists his body, reaching for something, and grabs his phone, putting one earbud in and giving Gregory the other. He opens YouTube, handing the phone to Gregory. "You can pick. Honor of the patient."

Gregory grins, giggling. "Thanks, Doctor Evan."

ao3 link

[coconutnutmilk]

Pet

Pt 3/??

It wasnt everyday you find a miniature, thats what Oko thought the moment he found a mouse, a small, stinky guy that hid behind the trash.

The military student walked towards his apartment at the military institute, he could feel the tiny being squirm in his hand since he put it in his pocket, bu he didnt seem concerned about it.

The only thing Oko was thinking was about the price he saw for miniatures clothes, and that he'd need a cage for his new, how he likes to call it, small friend, even if he had no intentions of asking, he was just "happy" to have someone at home that was depended on him.

Happy was a weird way to put it, there were only few times where Oko really felt happy, the first one was from when he was twelve, at school, and the kid that would always call him "weird" or "apatic bitch" fell from the stairs, he felt very happy.

But feeling something in his hands, having control over its life, that was something else, he wondered if kids felt the same way with their pets, since he never had a pet.

But now it was different, finally, he felt happy enough to make a small smile appear on his face, it felt weird to even smile for such little thing, but he didnt have any control over the way his face manifested emotions.

So he walked, calmly, listening to the music, ignoring the little shaking animal he was holding.

He didnt even wondered if the kid had a family or a home to return to, he just "grabbed" him like some lost hamster.

Anyway, the walk wasnt long as it only took less than ten minutes to get back at the institute.

As the student crossed the field where him and his school-mates trained, he took the stairs for the dorm, and grabbed the keys for his room, the closest to the common kitchen.

As he entered the room he took his back-pack off and threw it on the bed, he then took a lunch box, a plastic transparent box and opened it to then leave it on the desk next to the computer.

He felt the mouse in his hand move, pushing his fingers away, or at least trying to, and as he made his grip more firm, he heard a tiny squeak, and slowly took him out of the pocket and looked at it.

Even if the miniature was much smaller than him, Oko could easily see waterfalls from his eyes and sense him tremble in his grip.

-please, please i- cried the tiny, not able to finish his sentence, but even if he screamed the guy wouldnt listen.

It was only a matter of time Oko put him in the box, but of course he had intentions of buying a bigger place for his friend, maybe a hamster cage, miniatures cages were no different, they just had a different material for the flooring, such as foam rubber or other soft, but flat things.

He also thought maybe some toys would be of his liking, but he had to choose them carefully, and to research on what mouses liked.

He looked at the screaming being trapped in the lunch box, it seemed like it was about to have a heart attack, it was pinned to a side, looking at him crying and talking with a loud, but broken voice.

But as Oko looked at the kid, he could only think one thing, "how would he look like with one of those miniatures costumes?" And of course, he was about to find out.

But he had to tell his tutor first, he wasnt the type of guy that kept things secret, he didnt have a private life or a second one, but of course he wouldnt accept a no from the tutor, he was just telling him, not asking.

He gave a last look at the kid, before taking the cap of the lunch box and close it, he heard the muffled squeaks of terror coming from the small guy, but he secured the cap and left, as he needed to tell his tutor as soon as possible.

The kid remained under shock, he was in a lunch box, a plastic lunch box, and it was closed, it wouldnt have been long for the air to finish, he was about to have a heart attack.

-oh god...oh god, for the fucking heaven...- he held his head, trying to control his breathing, it was too much, seeing that screams and begs causes no reaction was horrible, even kids made a concerned face when he screamed at them, but this guy had absolutely no mercy.

The mouse tried to look at the room, it was tidy and clean, there was a single bed, a closet, the desk where he was on, a big window where the kid could only see the sky, and another room that was left a secret, it was the bathroom but dont tell the small guy.

His thoughts were cut off as he noticed how the temperature was raising, he thought he would die of a terrible death, away from the ones that raised him, he lost his parents when he was a newborn, but of course, just like any miniature, his parents lived with many others, so he was raised by the rest of his "family".

And he was about to die, alone, due to low levels of ossigen and high temperature, he didnt want to die, but he had no options, he got comforted the moment he thought he would reach his parents.

But of course the door opened the moment he passed out.

Oko looked at him as he was laying on the box's ground, and opened the cap, making the mouse's chest rise quickly as he started breathing heavily and coughing violently.

The small guy felt a bit off and looked up, seeing his kidnapper, that was towering over him as hed look at him almost as to check his "friend" was allright, -hey lil guy, i thought it would have taken much less, dont worry, i wont close it again- he said, with a lower voice.

The little guy took the opportunity as the giant was "probably" listening -Hey!!- he tried to get his attention, his voice was shaky, and his limbs felt weaker than usual, but he had to at least try to talk to him.

-h-hey u-uhm...s-sir, look i-i need to g-go back- his voice would break at some parts, resulting his whole sentence more of a cry than a bravery.

But the guy didnt seem concerned about his speech, and Just looked at him, -mhh...my tutor will come here any moment now...- he said, before reaching for him.

His hands got closer and the little guy's heart raced, he crawled to a corner and cried -No wait, please listen to me!- he tried to talk to him, but his hands got to him, ignoring his small begs and carefully lifting him in a firm grip.

Oko lifted him slowly as he didnt want to give him nausea, and covered him with the other hand, only scaring him more, to then walk towards the bathroom.

As the mouse saw the very dark room and in a matter of seconds the light explode, he felt weak, nothing was over his control, he couldnt do anything.

He just kept crying and sobbing, feeling the world move around him -please, i c-cant...- he said quietly, his tiny hands clawing his, as to hurt him, but as usual the guy didnt seem to notice.

The mouse could hear the sound of water going as the guy turned the water on to fill a plastic bowl, he never did like baths, if those were the big guy's intentions, but it didnt matter.

The water stopped when the water level almost reached half a finger's height.

After checking the water wasnt too hot nor cold, he looked at the small being and opened his hand a little, leaving the tiny laid on his hand, a bit confused about what was about to happen.

When he saw the second hand reaching for him, he didnt even care about knowing his intentions, he just turned around and went for getting off pf his hand, but of course the giant had better reflexes and closed his hand enough to block him without crushing him -hey, hey now, stay still for a moment will you?- he said calmly but with his usual monotone.

Coin didnt listen to a word and kept struggling and kicking his way to freedom, even if it meant falling from almost two meters, but the guy didnt let it happen and used one finger to block him on the palm of his hand.

With two fingers the guy reached for the shorts of the little guy, and as he noticed, he panicked clearly not wanting a giant to undress him, even if he knew it was just for the bath, he felt violated.

But nothing mattered, he was blocked and had no say in the situation, and when the guy easily undressed him, he had it pressed in his mind, he felt like a toy, his movements were nothing but a bother that was easily crushed.

He stayed frozen on the palm of the hand of his kidnapper, his giant, apatic kidnapper that just took his clothes off without even asking, and cried, he didnt like how everything was going.

Two giant fingers left the tiny clothes he took off of him on the counter and looked at the miniature, the small clothes were wet from the rain and that gave the doubt that the small guy might catch a cold.

Without thinking futher Oko lowered his hands into the water, and left him in the bowl, the water would almost reach his belly, and it was warm, warm enough to make Coin submerge under it.

The moment the tiny felt in the water, he almost felt like he was just born a new life, the dirt coming off of him, his muscles relax almost melting, he even forgot about the giant being looking at him, until his hands, one holding soap, reached again.

He "swimmed" away, not really knowing how to swim, and got to a side, hissing at the hands as he was tired of those giant things touching him.

One hand held him making sure he wouldnt go away as the other got closer, completely ignoring his hisses, to then rub soap on his curly hair forcing him to close his eyes and turn his mouse's ears of 180 degrees.

-for fuck's sake how old you think i am?- he whined to himself as the giant washed him and rubbed soap on his back, until the the finger got down towards his tail.

The moment the tiny felt his tail being touched he jumped, it was sensitive, and that scared him, even if the guy didnt seem to have intentions of hurting him, he could have easily without even noticing.

But as usual, the only thing he could do was try ti crawl away, getting blocked and having to give up, so he did what he could do best, and started crying hoping for the guy to be careful, and not to make the most common mistakes like scratching or using the nails, even if accidentally.

Luckily for him the giant made it pretty quick, and went for the fur of the legs as it probably kept the most dirt.

The rest of the bath went normally, embarassing for the tiny as he had the giant's fingers touching him close to sensitive and private parts, and in few parts, the guy didnt even tried to be decent and went straight to clean even under his tail and others.

It ended with a red, but clean face that kept muttering and whining -fucking pervert...creep- he said to himself, sobbing and trembling, clearly not wanting all those fingers keeping him still and going all over his body.

This guy was too fast, the tiny couldnt catch his breath that something else was already happening, and that something arrived again after giving a wash with the water to the small kid.

Oko held the towel in one hand, while the other went for the tiny, trying to predict its movements and to catch him before he could even try to get away, and as he lifted him, Oko sighed as it trembled and cried again, kicking and struggling high pitched squeaks.

Trying to keep his grip of the small, preventing it to fall on the ground, the guy left him in the towel and decided that the most useful way to make him stay still was wrapping him in the towel.

And as he did so, the tiny screamed even more, but he was still, trying to move, but not able to.

Oko looked at the tiny, wrapped in the small towel, it surely looked like enormous from the tiny's persective, but it was a small towel...

Bath time was surely over, but he still needed to feed him, take him to the veterinary and prepare his cage.

Oko smiled a little, a small, bit creepy, sincere smile.

_______________________

Oko is a crazy bitch that barely feels anything and Coin is a traumatized kid that wants his family back.

If you have any idea feel free to tell me, i love mixing ideas

[cutebutalsostabby]

i wouldnt mind hearing more abt that Zelda Timeline Is A Circle theory ...👀👀

I WROTE A WHOLE RANT AND THEN FAILED TO SAVE. JHKJJDGFHJKDFSHKJFK nonetheless: I am so excited about this whole thing that I will literally WRITE THAT WHOLE THING AGAIN DAMN IT. Thank you for the enablement, anonymous stranger!

Anyway. A concession first off that this theory has some massive plot holes, so it's less a case of "here's my carefully considered perspective on the Zelda timeline" and more "here's a corkboard covered in red string". So don't @ me. Unless you also want to share Zelda conspiracy theories, in which case absolutely do @ me. At any time. Please.

With that said: let's start with looking at where BotW sits on the timeline.

The Downfall Timeline

The converged timeline is a fun theory, but I personally think the Downfall Timeline makes most sense for BotW. In particular:

Calamity Ganon is basically immortal, whereas TP and WW Ganon are canonically vulnerable to stabs to the chest and head respectively. Technically Ganondorf II also exists in the Child Timeline, but the BotW script suggests that Calamity Ganon is the Ganondorf of OoT (Urbosa's comments in particular), so we’ll ignore that other guy. As usual.

"Calamity" (yakusai / 厄災) seems like a pretty clear relative of the Great Cataclysm (ooinaru wazawai / オオイナル ワザワイ or 大いなる災い). That phrase comes from a prophecy in ALttP where any time one with an evil heart gains the power of the Triforce, a hero will rise to fight them.

Koroks and Rito exist in BotW, which may seem to tie it to the adult timeline – except that the same circumstances that led to Kokiri becoming Koroks and Zora becoming Rito (changes in habitat) exist in the Downfall Timeline as well. In fact, the Downfall Timeline makes more sense for the Zora: Ganon’s influence results in the destruction of Zora Domain, but some of the Zora flee to Labrynna as seen in OoA. The ones that stay in Hyrule become Rito and the ones that remain in Labrynna stay Zora - thus both can coexist in BotW's Hyrule.

Now the thing about Ganon in the Downfall Timeline is that a) he never dies for good and b) he only gets stronger over time. Meanwhile, the Master Sword slowly loses its edge, Hylia’s bloodline becomes thinner and the seven sages that originally sealed Ganon away fade out of prominence. By the time you get to BotW, it’s basically impossible for Link to win on his own. If you follow the "ideal" game path, he faces Ganon with both the Master Sword and the Divine Beasts and manages to buy enough time for Zelda to wield the power of the Triforce and seal Ganon away. After dying and spending 100 years regenerating inside a fancy spa bath. Considering the cost of getting that far and the fact that Zelda almost didn't unlock her powers at all, it's not much of a win.

Deus ex Timeline

Worth noting: there's no canonical answer as to why the Downfall Timeline exists. We know that the Adult/Child split happens when Zelda sends Link back in time, so theoretically the same or similar applies to the Downfall Timeline - except that there's no in-game evidence of such a thing ever occurring.

In the Downfall version of the OoT Ganon fight, Ganon defeats Link and steals his Triforce of Courage, then takes Zelda's Triforce of Wisdom. After that, as a last resort, the seven sages (including Zelda) manage to seal Ganon and the complete Triforce away in the Sacred Realm.

It's possible that OoT Zelda turned back time immediately after that, but I think it's unlikely. If Link survived at all, he was probably in no condition to go back, and Zelda herself had just lost the largest piece of her power and likely spent whatever magic she could spare just to seal away Ganon. Even if OoT Zelda thought it was a good idea to try again, even if she didn’t feel any guilt towards Link – and she already expressed a lot of guilt even in the "good" timeline – I don't think she could necessarily have done it. So if the timeline wasn't fractured then, when and how did it happen?

Theoretically, it could've happened at any point, so long as someone made the decision to go back AND had the power to achieve it. But I think it only really makes sense as an act of desperation.

Speaking of which, let's go back to what I was saying earlier about the Downfall Timeline.

It doesn't happen immediately, but at some point, there's a realisation – whether one made by BotW Link and Zelda, by their predecessors or even the gods watching on: the Downfall Timeline is basically doomed. Ganon keeps getting stronger over time, perhaps due to repeat "Great Cataclysms" where he gains the Triforce, perhaps due to what BotW suggests about him being "transformed by malice". He learns from each encounter, so it isn't wise to use the same weapons twice, and the "traditional" tools of Zelda and the Master Sword's divine power keep weakening. At some point, it just isn't going to be possible to win against him anymore, and at that point: the only way to stop Ganon is to beat him back when he was still beatable.

Let's also say, to give it some urgency, that Ganon makes a sudden reappearance not long after the events of BotW. Not after another 10,000 years: shortly after BotW. With the former kingdom in the condition it is, with the Divine Beasts silent and with Zelda's own power exhausted, there's no way they can fight Ganon all over again. So instead, they find some method of travelling back in time.

But When?

I mean, we could stop here and say "they go back and kick OoT Ganon's butt", but I don't think they do. For one: OoT Link already kicks Ganon's butt. We have a whole narrative around that. But more importantly, it's heavily implied that the cycle of Ganon's rebirth is tied to Demise's long-distant curse - which the Goddess Hylia would likely know, even if history has forgotten it. So if Hylia is involved at all in the decision, either through speaking with Zelda through dreams, Link through her private chat or through a plan made eons ago, she wouldn't send them to OoT. She'd send them right back to the start.

Now, the interesting thing about Demise: he isn't a god – evidenced by the fact that he's able to use the Triforce and Hylia isn't for that reason – but he does fight on par with one. Their battle is CLOSE. He was able to wound her badly and get her to the point where giving up her divinity purely to stop him is seen as a valid option. Like: what? That is a big cost and a big risk, Hylia! Why would you do that? She would've had to have a pretty good reason to take such drastic action – maybe because she was able to see to the conclusion of the Downfall Timeline.

Now here's where the details get extra shaky: the only evidence to suggest that time travel way back to the start of the timeline occurred is a) Hylia's desperation to stop Demise, and b) the super advanced tech of the distant past of the Lanayru region, which resembles distant futuristic Sheikah tech and seems entirely out of place compared to the more primitive tech seen elsewhere. But while we're throwing out theories with limited evidence, here are a few other elements of interest:

The Twili

The Twili of Twilight Princess, aka Dark Tribe of Four Sword Adventures. They once attempted to steal the Triforce and were sealed away in the Twilight/Dark Mirror. What if Demise was part of this group, and what if there was a timeline split depending on whether or not he actually obtained the Triforce? If he doesn't, let's say he's still strong enough to manifest a curse, but that the curse itself is weaker in the timeline leading to the Child/Adult split.

The Minish and the Wind Tribe

Minish Cap lore doesn't seem to show up in other games much, but technically the ones that created the armos of MC – and theoretically also armos of long-distant Lanayru – were the Minish on behalf of the Wind Tribe. The Zonai are associated with the Faron Region which is associated with the wind element (e.g. Fado of the Kokiri as Sage of Wind) so the Zonai could be or could be connected with the distant Wind Tribe. In which case, they were one of the groups around in the distant past and may have fought alongside Hylia in the war against Demise.

The Desertification of Lanayru

Something happened to the Lanayru region to rapidly change its environs from lush greenery into a desert. This could have been natural, or could be evidence of either intentional damage or some side effects of the mining of timeshift stones. It isn't clear, but it's fun to think about.

Desert Colossus

In OoT and TP, there exist images of a goddess of the sand – likely a different goddess to Hylia, Din, Farore or Nayru. We still know basically nothing about this goddess and her domain.

The Gerudo and Zuna

FSA is a bit famous for breaking the timeline, but one of the fun pieces of lore it introduces is the weapon with "the power to ruin the world" – found in the desert in the Pyramid of Power. Since Hyrule Castle of Ganon's Dark World in ALttP resembles that same Pyramid of Power, and since Ganon originates from that same region, maybe the trident is one of the factors that tips the scale against OoT Link in the Downfall Timeline.

The Crack in the Earth

The demon tribe Demise belongs to is said to have issued out of a crack in the earth as per SS lore. This could tie them to Din as Goddess of the earth. We still don't know much about why that crack appeared in the first place or why that tribe picked a fight over the Triforce, but that could be relevant to the idea of why "the means to oppose Ganon" as per BotW's prophecy, might be found underground.

The Master Sword

The Master Sword looks to be broken in Tears of the Kingdom, which is unfortunate considering how it's supposed to be sealing Demise. If it's carried back in time with Link, that gives new meaning to Demise's words about a cycle and throws a new spanner in the works in terms of trying to support Hylia in her fight.

Groose

He's not relevant; I just think he's neat.

Wow Those Sure Are Some Plotholes

I never said it was a fully formed theory, more that it was fun to think about. But what do YOU think? 👀

I came up with the above ramble on my own, but I'm not the only one to suggest a loop in the timeline, so I'll be interested in hearing other theories. To be clear as well: I don't necessarily see this as breaking the cycle. It's unclear whether the attempt at fixing the timeline succeeds and changes the outcome in OoT's Ganon fight, and even if it does: what happens in the abandoned Downfall Timeline? Or post FSA on the child timeline or to the sunken Kingdom in the adult timeline? There's still plenty of room for the franchise to grow!

Anyway. Thanks for reading and happy theorising! Imma go get some sleep now. Later!

[nailgunstigmata]

how did you get over comp het and realize you are a lesbian? (i have no clue how comfortable you are talking about this sort of stuff so please feel free to just ignore this <3 sorry if it feels like prying)

no worries at all!! ill be honest and say that i still struggle with comphet/a feeling that im „faking it“, almost a kind of sexuality imposter syndrome if that makes sense, but for me what has always helped is to just try to think of the whole thing objectively, if that makes sense? one of the main things for me personally (and i feel like i can only rlly speak from my own experience here so im sorry if it isnt too helpful fhdjdb) is that im just not attracted to any men irl, especially not attainable ones. i can also just never see myself in a relationship with a man and being happy, like i can see it with a woman!! i guess it kind of depends from person to person but for me it was realizing that i can think a man is attractive/has attractive physical features but also not personally want to be with them romantically and that feelings like that are normal and something many lesbians have.

kind of an occams razor situation where its like hm i feel like i should be in a relationship with a man but it doesnt make me happy and i dont have any desire for it. the thought of marrying a man makes me upset in a way i cant explain. but i have crushes on women and the thought of marrying a woman makes me happy….ok well yeah that doesnt sound straight at all.

comphet is such a vicious cycle but at the end of the day the only one who can truly know your identity is you!! and sexuality is a confusing thing and something a lot of people struggle with. you can always switch your label if you feel more comfortable with something else, or you dont have to label yourself at all! but i also get the desire to find „your place“ if that makes sense.

sorry this is kinda rambly dhsjdb but honestly what helped most for me at the end of the day was realizing that comphet exists and doesn‘t invalidate your sexuality, and its also not something you have to be ashamed of!! its natural and fine to revel in exploring things in fiction/fantasy that you wouldnt want in real life and its equally natural and fine to have had relationships with men and for those relationships to maybe not even having been that bad! comphet is annoying but it exists and it doesnt invalidate you, and honestly hearing that from other lesbian, having them tell me that its okay and doesnt take anything away is probably what helped me most!

i havent reread this in some time but this really helped me out when trying to figure my identity out!! you probably already know it if youre questioning, but just in case fhdkdb

also sorry this took me so long to answer i just kept trying to think of something that would help and then procrastinated dhdjd this is the best i can come up with but i hope it maybe helps the tiniest bit? idk fhdjdb

anyways i wish u the best anon!! i hope you figure stuff out <3

[atthebell-moved]

actually wait I wanna talk about something I've noticed that I was literally just talking about and I think has to do with like. why people don't draw female CCs with their actual features. If I'm not making any sense just ignore me

So boobs and curves have been sexualized to hell and back despite the fact that they're not sexual features of a person, and this has led to the idea that boobs and curves are sexual.

Which leads people to think that drawing these features is sexualization, regardless of how much a streamer might actually just look like that. (not to jump away from women and misogyny, but it's why you see people in this fandom throwing a fit whenever a male character is drawn with these features, because they see them as inherently sexual)

So what you end up with is a bunch of people who try to make female and female presenting streamers as curveless and boobless as possible, which often makes them look just really skinny and flat and not like themselves at all.

Not to say that a large part of it doesn't come from people refusing to draw streamers with their actual body types in the first place, but I'd argue that this is a part of it and they work together to make it worse.

areus you are 1000% correct on this. people are so scared to "sexualize" anyone that they refuse to draw women accurately, even though its not sexualizing to show that niki has boobs. drawing her to look like a skinny eighteen year old boy is nuts. its weird and in an industry where female streamers are already pressured to be thin and follow conventional beauty standards its honestly awful.

drawing grian or scar or wilbur with boobs is not sexualizing them. its going oh wouldnt it be interesting or funny if this guy who doesnt have boobs had boobs. isnt gender so weird and funny and arbitrary. now i do get annoyed with how often people are willing to draw mcyt dudes in dresses or with tits but have never drawn a woman in their life-- that does get to me. okay, you can draw boobs. why dont you draw them on someone who actually has them irl? i genuinely dont have an issue with the scitties stuff it just annoys me that people in this fandom would rather draw a guy in a dress bc haha* than draw a woman at all. drawing male characters with boobs is great though. imo its akin to drag in a weird way but i dont want to get into the dynamics of drag and gender parody rn since that's not the point of this ask. regardless its cool and people should do it if they want but they should also draw women.

again, im not calling anyone out or saying this is across the board the case, just saying it can be a trend in fandoms. like all of this, im not saying anyone is doing this on purpose. misogyny is pervasive and systemic, just like most forms of oppression. thats why my biggest advice is to just look at your own behavior when you can and try to notice trends.

anyway aside from that element of things i dont have anything to add, your insights are very welcome! body image is a huge issue in media and i think attempts to "desexualize" female streamers end up being incredibly harmful.

*the "man in a dress" concept, btw, can be incredibly harmful and is often a transmisogynistic stereotype. im not saying it is here but i would encourage folks to think hard about when that joke is just about being horny over some guy's thighs and when its about how comedic it is that person who looks like, for example, scar (who has what society deems as "masculine" characteristics) is wearing a dress. again, i dont think this is the case for much of this fandom as most of you just seem to like drawing dudes in dresses bc its fun, which is great, but watch out for this stereotype in other forms of media. if you want more info on this please feel free to ask.

[worst-case-scenario-im-a-god]

I'm here to take what's mine

Can i request BEN Nsfw please? I've been searching for good content of him lately, but i cant find ANYTHING that can satisfy me😩

But I believe in you, give me the best you have!

For ease of writing im just gonna go with the main BEN thats in my series, whos also referred to as Benil (bay-nee-ahl, but you can just say beh-neel since his name isnt exactly in a language that exists irl lol)

His behavior depends on who hes with. He doesnt really get S/Os in the usual sense. He is not anything like the usual canon or fanon of BEN.

He has a completely different concept of relationships and sex. Hes horrendously hypersexual due to just how desperately he pleasure seeks. He spent most of his life as a non physical entity made of stardust and celestial debris lol

When he gets his "First Face" hes finally able to feel and experience sensations, and the person whos appearance he takes also helps him learn about all these new sensations, which makes him super addicted to pleasure and pain as well. He obsessively seeks it out nonstop.

In TATA, there is a concept of soulmates, wont get too into it here, but with his "kolivera" as they are called he is. A pathetic little bitch. A whiny baby slut that just wants nothing more to be at the feet of his "singers"

With just about anyone else, hes kinda uncaring. He seeks his own pleasure, not really the other person's and he has a severely skewed sense of consent. He often ignores it at that, due to just. Genuinely not understanding the concept of it in the scenario of sex and stuff like that. He cant comprehend that someone WOULDNT want to feel what hes trying to do and thinks people are stupid or lying if theyre telling him no. So, be careful lol.

He's not one for relationships. He'll form them but for him theyre meaningless if they arent his "kolivera." Hell abandon them for one of those without any care or thought, it causes severe issues between him and the TATA mc, because he does make her his mate at one point.

All he cares about is seeking feeling. He'll stalk, kidnap and coerce whoever he wishes if he wants them for any reason. All he wants is to be the center of attention and fuck all the time lol

may add more so be on the look out, you can also request the other BENs of mine too if u want

[shoutoismybaby]

Omega Shame Part 1

Summary: After spending most of your life on suppressants and ignoring your second gender, you finally decide to embrace who you are with your alphas support. But what happens when your alpha Bakugou walks in on you nesting and sparks memories of your past trauma?

warnings: ABO, Nesting, ANGST ending with fluff,

***

Nesting. This was something you hadn't even attempted since you were but a small pup. Both suppressants and fear had kept any desire for this activity far away from you, until a couple months ago. That was when you got a courting proposal, your first ever.

It was a necklace, and not just your typical alphas 'just learned how to make jewelry with string'. No. This necklace required welding, a skill you had no idea about, but that just made sense for your alpha to poses. The chain was a simple silver, leading down to a locket with intricate holes on its top layer, creating an almost explosive like design. The cloth that sat inside was a ruby red color that matched the alphas eyes, and the scent it held was strong of caramel and ash.

Of course if Bakugou was to make a courting gift, his was going to be the best you had ever seen.

You had wasted no time in placing the necklace around your neck, relaxing as his scent filled your nose. It was from this point that you knew Bakugou would make an amazing alpha for you. After all, if he put so much effort into the courting gift, you could only imagine the effort he would put into courting you. Even then in typical Bakugou fashion, he passed all expectations.

It started with the way he would make you lunches, walk you to wherever you needed to go, and made sure to give you a thorough scenting only after he got permission. He always showed concern for your physical and mental wellbeing, stopping you from pushing yourself too hard in training and even scolding you for your self deprecating jokes.

“No one gets to talk down about my omega. Especially not my omega.” He had growled at you once. Again Bakugou did something unexpected, making your omega purr at a growl.

It felt so nice to have someone who cared about you. Someone who encouraged you to stop hiding your second gender from everyone but those in your own class. Not that you had even let your class discover on purpose, but the stressful situations class A had gotten in over the years did wonders for wearing off suppressants and scent blockers. 

He, along with your other classmates, had been building up your confidence in your secondary sex for years now. Bringing you to the realization that being an omega didn't mean that you were weak or any less than betas or alphas. Momo and Ochako were omegas after all, and they were some of the strongest people you knew. So once you had gotten an alpha your omega was basically begging to be set free, and you didn't feel like you had to deny it anymore.

So here you were, after 3 months of being off of the medications your hormones and instincts were finally leveling back to normal. It was something you had never experienced before, but you had Bakugou to help support you along the way. That's why you needed his scent in your nest. No matter how nauseous you felt walking into the young alphas room while you knew he was training, your omega refused to continue the day without at least one peice of his clothing. More than that and you were sure you would be sent into a panic attack. You had no idea how he would react to you doing this. Would he be disgusted? Angry?

Ironically the only thing calming your thoughts was to continue building the nest. Pillows upon pillows methodically shoved between various stuffed animals and blankets became nest shaped as the time passed. Soon enough you were left with just one item left, one of his favorite skull shirts. You had wanted to take something he would miss less, but they weren’t drowned in his scent like this one was. You sat back into the middle of your nest to take a thorough look around. You didn’t want to take too long to decide a place for it by now as you were getting tired. Not to mention you were going to go out on a movie date with Bakugou so you also needed to get ready for that. You would have checked the time if you weren’t so fixated on your task, and that would turn out to be a huge mistake.

You had finally found the perfect place for his shirt when you heard your door open from behind you. In the middle of slipping the clothing item over your pillow you froze as your heart began to race. Your omega knew it was an alpha before you knew who it was and she let out a chirp before you could stop it.

All you could remember was the first time this had happened, an Alpha walking in on your nest. You were seven, not old enough to even present as an omega but tendencies could show early in childhood. You were excited and happily humming as you arranged your blankets, stuffed animals, and your parents best smelling clothes into small yet sturdy walls in the shape of an oval on your bed. You couldn’t help but feel safe, like you would no longer fall off your bed in the middle of the night, or that monsters or other intruders would quickly avoid hurting you once they got just a single sniff of your parents alpha scents. You were proud when you were finished and immediately snuggled into it for a nap, only to wake up to the scent of rotting eggs. A clear indicator your father was both near and very angry. All the yelling and trashing of your hard work that happened next was just a blur. But you could remember how you felt the entire time so vividly. The way your lungs seemed incapable of taking in air, the trembling of your hands and especially the weakness in your knees. Most of all, you remembered the absolute terror as your safe space was invaded. Adrenaline pumped through your veins as fast as your heart would allow it, and you could only sit back and watch.

It was that day that you first became aware that there was something wrong with you. Something gross, weak, and worth hating.

That’s why even when the scent of Bakugou filled your nose, your heart still didn’t slow down. In fact, it only sped up when you finally turned around to look at him, all of the hope you had gotten by convincing yourself he would be happy you were embracing yourself quickly diminishing. His brows furrowed more than normal and his mouth was set in a deep scowl, slightly open just enough that his naturally large canines poked out.

He was angry.

“Do you not know how to answer your fucking phone?! You were so eager to force me to agree to this date and then you don't even respond when I-” Your thoughts were racing far too fast to actually hear what he was saying. Your omega could only think of one thing, your alpha was angry with you. You messed up and now he was angry with you. It was just like your parents, you should have listened to them when they told you it was stupid to nest.

But you had worked so hard on it, and it made you feel so good. You didn’t want your nest to be torn apart again. The smell of smoke wafted from the alphas' palms as you were too caught up in your memories to really hear him. Hear how he was angry with you for forgetting about your date, angry that you had stood him up and too busy being upset to even notice that you were sitting in a nest. The smell of smoke invoked just another event in your mind, one that happened when you had first presented as an omega at 13. Something that caused the damn behind your eyes to finally break.

“PLEASE DON’T DESTROY MY NEST” You Omega sobbed, distressed chips flooding from your chest like air. “Please, please!”

Your outburst startled the Alpha into silence. He could only stand there and watch as his omegas scent was filled with fear as she wiped at her eyes aggressively. A first he was confused, letting his body pump out comfort pheromones instinctually as he let himself observe the situation. You were dressed only in your school uniform, clearly having been building the nest that surrounded you from the time you entered the dorm room to when he had burst into your room, now far past dark. You were trembling too, body curled up in on itself as you hiccupped and begged.

“Please, I'm sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorryyy! Just please dont destroy my nest.” Your voice cracked and it resonated painfully in his ear and his heart dropped. Why did you think he would destroy your nest? Sure he wasn't the best alpha but he wasn’t a monster. Did you really think he would destroy the one place where you felt safest? A weight grew in his chest that left as a deep growl,

“Here.” He growled, “Probably best if we just end this bullshit.”

This was all your fault. If you hadnt built this stupid nest in the first place, or even started crying like a fucking baby then this wouldnt have happened. But you were a weak omega, and just like your parents said, no one can love someone so weak. Especially not someone as powerful as Katsuki. You shouldn’t have let yourself believe that they were wrong for even a second. You had thought that Bakugou would be the one who would love you for who you truly were. But that was naive. No one could love such a burden. No one could love you.

The drop of the crafted bracelet to the ground seconds before your door slammed, leaving you alone once more in your room, proof enough of that.

Your parents were right.

A flame of anger lit in your chest. Why were you so unloveable just the way you were? Why couldn’t you just be different? Why couldn’t you be an alpha like your parents had wanted?

You could feel your nails extend into claws as the hair on your body raised. You glared at the soft material weaved together around you as hot tears built up behind your eyes. This time instead of being fueled by fear they were fueled by rage and resentment.

You were so angry. So angry at youself, at your weak omega, and especially at your stupid nest. You couldn't help but let a couple tears fall as you let your anger get the best of you, and you didn't stop it until you were heaving in the middle of your disaster of a room. Surrounded by torn pieces of fabric and the other contents of your room scattered by your tantrum, you finally let yourself breath. 

You turned around to see the item you had been avoiding, your pillow with bakugou's shirt. With a deep breath you grabbed a hold of the object, digging your claws into its plush softness. The caramel ash smell that permeated the air only helped to break down the remaining bits of your anger. And you didn’t want to be left alone with your despair just yet.

With the release of your breath a ripping sound could be heard. The shirt split and cotton popped out from the opening like popcorn. Once you had successfully dissected what had been a comfort item you threw it somewhere away from you and took another deep breath.

Now you were finally alone. Just you and your reality. You could really feel how much pain your omega was in as your hair began to lower and your normal nails returned. You had heard about this pain before. A deep one in your chest, heartbreak. Your omega seemed to curl around that feeling. Of rejection. Self hatred. That no one would ever need you, let alone want you. You could feel yourself start to slip into the limbo of numbness and searing pain.

An Omega Depression.

You remembered learning about it back when you were in middle school, most people were beginning to present as their second sex. Your teachers had emphasized how important it was to get medical attention at the first signs, you knew how dangerous it was, but all you wanted to do was lay there on the floor. You were tired, and what was the point? No one cared about you, not your parents… not Bakugou. Your throat strained painfully at that thought. Bakugou didn’t want you, and it was your fault.

[soothinglee]

Okay (this is the anon from the "too scared to request" ask) I read a fanfic similar to this and it got me thinking. What abt Ranboo x Vampire reader (platonic) where Ranboo basically kills people for money and he, not knowing reader is a vamp, tries to kill them and they pretend to be dead until later where they show up to his house and get revenge by making his life a living hell every day

You can totally ignore if you want I get it if it's too weird or specific for you to write

Revenge (part 1.)

requested?: (yes read above)

Warnings: Mentions of blood, knives, death and a whole lotta angst. (a bit ooc)

 a/n: Non this was perfect! Dw about specific-ness or how ‘weird’ it is, that means you have a good imagination! Also being specific makes it easier for me to write! I hope you enjoy! I tried as best as I could^~*.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You and Ranboo had been friends for ages. Ever since he first joined the smp. You always admired how truthful and kind he was. Spilling everything that happened to him in a instant, he trusted you so much that he even told you about everything that happened with Dream when no-one else knew. So the fact that he didn’t tell you that he killed for money hurt.In all honesty you could’ve helped him. But, it was very hypocritical of you. See, you had a secret of your own. You were a vampire. And no one knew.

You planned to keep it that way.

Everyone has been skeptical of how Ranboo got richer and richer every second. They honestly thought that he grinded for hours or worked in tradding materials but it was something different..something worse. You knew exactly what it was. At the dead of night he’d sneak out of his house, clad in Netherite armour and a sword shoved into his pant pocket like clock work. Theres was only one destination in mind. He’d set off to the community house.

Hovering over a tree, you floated in the air watching as ranboo quietly close the spruce door and hesitantly stepped down to avoid the creak of the step. He slings a bag over his shoulder that looks like it could crush anyone under 120 pounds.

‘Whats in the bag?’ you think eying it closely ‘wouldnt be a dead body, he wouldnt keep that in the house especially with Micheal in there.’

Ranboo stumbles here and there until he finally reaches the crafting table covered floor. Three guys stand infront of him. All varying in different heights.One carries a enchanted axe, the one on their right equpied with a bow while the other one is bare-handed. But…there was something else you noticed about their stance…

They were scared.

“Ranboo!” One called walking forward “So nice of you to finally join us.”

Ranboo scoffs walking towards the man but only to stop a little ways from them. He throws the bag on the floor gently. “You know its hard for me to sneak out of there.” He says bending down “Took me ages to put Micheal to bed.”

The guy laughs and shakes his head “I bet, childern are always stubborn. How is micheal now? 3? 4?” He watches as Ranboo opens the black bag slowly, eying it as if a monster is going to pop out and attack him and his goons.

Ranboo looks up at the man through his eyelash from the floor and lets out a laugh “How old my son is shouldnt be your business, punz” he sneers opening the bag a little wider.

Punz looks back to the guys behind him who were now taking off the hoods that layed upon their heads. The two figures behind punz was none other then AntForst and Bad. Its his turn to laugh “Shouldnt I know the things about my client?” to which ranboo huffs out a 'I’m not your client’ under his breath.

Standing up, ranboo towers over punz by a good amount making the boy in white peer up at the hybrid. “Yeah Yeah, whatever. Whats in the bag?” Looking away from ranboo,his gaze drops down to the bag on the floor. A purple-ish light floats from it making punz laugh in greed.

Ranboo huffs again as if hes done this a thousand times.

“He probably has” you mumble, you yourself trying to see what was in the bag without getting spotted.

“Everything you asked for,” He starts picking the bag up with ease “5 enchanted cross-bows, two stacks of arrows, half a stack of diamond blocks and 10 gapples.”

The men whoop and Punz goes to reach for the bag but his hand is slapped away by Ranboos freckled one.”No. This is not how the trade works, you know that. Dont get greedy. I dont sell to greedy people.”

Punz sighs and rolls his eyes but nonetheless takes out 10 blocks of netherite and 4 blocks of gold. “This what you wanted?” he asks making ranboo nod to conform. “Alright then on the count of 3 we had over our respected items and go our marry little way, alright?” Ranboo nods again. He can sense something- no. Someone lurking.

“Alright then 1,” Punz takes a step forward towards Ranboo and ant and bad do the same. Ranboo stays where hes at. “2,” Ranboo stays still once again but this time slowly reaches for something in his back pocket. The boys don’t notice but you do.

“Oh god ranboo please dont let that be what I think it is..” You gasp covering a hand over your mouth. From the your place up in the air you know take position on the ground barely visible behind a tree.

“3″ Ranboo pulls the sword that once was rested in his pocket and swings it into punzs’ stomatch. A bewildered look flashes across punzs’ face as he stares into Ranboos eyes. He grunts and falls forward but ranboo catches him before he can crash. While the knife is still in punzs’ stomach he lies him down getting his blood all over his hands.

Theres a scream couple feet in-front of Ranboo.

‘Crap,’ He panics looking up quickly and noticing the two men inching away from him ‘I forgot they were there!’

Ranboo slowly inches forward slowly to not cause any alarm. Ant speaks up for the first time in 30 minutes “Ranboo you dont want to do this...” He puts his hands up in defence. “Me and Bad can just move on! Forget about it! Just please...” his sentence trails off.

Ranboo twirls the knife in his hand. The blade soaked to the brim in blood. He shakes his head slowly...sadly. “I’m sorry but...I cant have any witnesses” with that he teleports infront of them and with one swift motions they take their place on the floor. Now, there are three bodies.

‘This is too much, whats going on? Whats...whats happening?’ You scream inside your mind. Thoughts running a mile a minute. This wasn't  the Ranboo you knew and loved. This wasn't him.

Your body moves before you think and now your standing behind Ranboo as his shoulders shake. It hard for you to look away from the blood. The smell is strong and the desire to eat is stronger. But, you have to focus on the point at hand...

“what the heck is going on?!” That got his attention. He head snaps backwards so hard you think he might've snapped his neck. Your voice didn't register in his head until he saw your crazed look, fear danced in your eyes as you look at the enderman dressed in black. You were bent forward slightly, both hands wrapped around your baby blue robe eying the sword that rest in his palm.

Tears sprout in his eyes as he trips over his words. “(Y-Y/N)?What are you doing here?” He tries to walk towards you stops when you take a step backwards.

“I could ask you the same thing.” Your voice wavers in disbelief. “Why? WHY?! Why didn't you tell me this was happening? I thought we tell each other everything!”

Ranboo whimpers and shakes “we do..we do..we do..” he cries “im sorry..im sorry im so sorry...”

You scoff and take the hand from your robe and place it on your cheek, eyes stuck to the ground. You cant bare to look him in the eye. “why..why are you sorry? hmph? Are you sorry for brutally MURDERING THEM AND THEN GETTING CAUGHT! AND FOR WHAT?! THEIR MONEY?!” Anger was now in place of fear. You looked up and looked straight into his eyes. Remorse is written all over his face.

this causes him to shake more. “no, im sorry for what im about to do..” in the blink of a eye he teleports behind you and places the cold, metal object to your neck. “I love you so much...remember that” and with a quick slash you join the bodies on the floor.

Thick tears fall from his eyes bound to make scars later. With one deep breath he says these finals words before the darkness fades in “There shall be no witnesses.. im sorry (y/n)”

is this what betrayal feels like?

taglist (g):

@angelicaschuyler-church

@kusuinko

[em0avacado]

They say

( Coco Cruz x Reader )

a/n : this is how i cope, don’t mind me, i’m just breaking my own heart.

trigger warnings : none i don’t think? except heart break, sadness. ends happy tho. i think. maybe.

word count : 2.4k

They say that, if you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it was meant to be, if it doesn’t? well you just couldn’t accept that. You’d poured every ounce of yourself into him, you’d told him all your fears, all your pet peeves, all your insecurities, because you trusted him. You’d accepted all his weird quirks, all the strange habits he had that you looked past, youd accepted him for who he was, as you do when you love someone as much as you loved him. You supported him, mentally and physically, from up close and from far away. You encouraged him, reminded him of little things he easily forgot, you told him every day how proud you were of him, how loved and appreciated he was.

He used to do the same for you, used to. But at some point, he began holding back, he stopped doing things he started doing to win you over. You used to have a list of pet names hed call you when he babied you, now it was just ‘baby’ if he was in a good mood, or [Y/N]. You noticed it as soon as it started, you noticed everything. You knew he was stressed so you didn’t want to push it, but you also know that “stressed” was a norm for Coco, so you couldn’t wrap your head around it entirely. He started coming home later, crashing on the couch in hopes of “not disturbing your sleep.” it sounded like an excuse to you, and it hurt. it really fucking hurt you.

At some point, you’d had enough of your boyfriend distancing himself like that, ignoring your feelings, ditching you when you needed him, you couldn’t live that way, you wouldn’t. So, when he came home, you’d waited up for him, sitting at the small kitchen table you both used to enjoy your breakfast on every Sunday, now it stood empty, with nothing but a stack of newspapers from the passing weeks piled on it. With a bit of liquid courage crashing against the rocks of ice as you swirled the brown liquid around in the cup, your eyes felt red with fire, and your cheeks were stained with few dried tears that rolled down your face as your mind came up with the worst possible results you could imagine, all to which, came true. With a jingle of his keys in the lock, you straightened your posture, looking at him.

“What’re you doing up?” he asked her, that same vacant look on his face.

“I wanted to talk”

“it can wait till morning.”

“it really can’t.” with that, she was met with utter annoyance, and an obnoxious scoff that made her blood boil.

“go on then.”

“you’ve distanced yourself, so hard. I barely see you. We don’t sleep in the same bed, I can’t remember the last time you touched me, hell, even looked at me like you used to. What’d I do?” that was your go to, blaming yourself. It’s how you dealt with the unexplained.

“Get off my ass, [Y/N].” He dismissed you, you watched as he pulled off his kutte, and settled into the couch. You kept your eyes on him, murder on your mind. God he irritated you, you wanted to take his neck between your hands and wring it. Maybe that’d breathe some sense into him, if you deprived him of oxygen a little. But you didn’t need another felony charge, you inhaled deeply, balling your fists, the sting of your nails digging into the palm of your hand bringing you back from picturing all the ways you’d brutally murder him, out of love, of course.

If you loved someone... you’d refrain from strangling them, you turned from the spot you stood, and headed into the bedroom. You did the breathing exercises your therapist had taught you, but they worked only slightly. You grabbed a duffel bag, and started shoving clothing into it, as much as you could, you pushed all the belongings you’d need the next few days, and zipped it up. Pulling on a hoodie, you tossed the bag over your shoulder, and headed out. You walked passed him without a word, when you went to grab your car keys, you did the only petty thing you’d let yourself, trying to be the better person, you hid every single key to everything you had, knowing how easily he lost keys, you’d help him, in your own favour, however.

You left, and you didn’t look back. You couldn’t. The mere thought of Coco made you tear up, and it didn’t help that every tiny thing made you think about the lost love that still caused your chest to feel like it was about to concave. This wasn’t natural, you hadn’t felt like this, you were the queen of bottling up emotions, and ignoring them so you didn’t feel the pain of anything. But as you lived and breathed, everything reminded you of him.

You were in the middle of a girls lunch date, it’d been weeks since your seen your girlfriends since you’ve been trying to isolate yourself trying to get over this man, in the midst of drinking mimosas on the balcony of one of those entirely too fancy restaurants, you were laughing at highschool memories of your best friend who would start fights in the halls because she was bored, it was then, when a roar of motorcycles sped past where you were sitting, and it threw you into a whirl wind of emotions.

“make sure you hold on tight, mamas. Wouldnt want you to fall off.” the smirk heard in Coco’s voice sent a chill down your spine, being too intimidated by any sort of physical contact, usually, you usually ease yourself into it, but with Coco? It was brash and sudden, he started the bike, and gave you maybe a millisecond to grab a hold on him.

A little squeal forced its way out of your mouth as you quickly grabbed onto him, gripping onto your own hands, clinging to him. You buried your face in his shoulder. You felt him chuckle, and wanted to knock him out right then and there, but perhaps that wasn’t the best idea. It took you a moment, but once you opened your eyes, and watched as buildings, cars, people, hills and piles of dirt passed you by, trees whipping by. You felt yourself calm, you felt at peace. The wind flipped through your locks of hair, his scent filling your senses.

“This isn’t that bad.” you heard yourself admit in a soft mumble, you shut your eyes and felt the wind attack your face, balancing your inner battles with yourself. You felt peace in Coco, he tamed your chaos, and you his. God, what you’d give to feel like this all the time, but you only felt it with him.

You felt your throat burn, your bottom lip lodged itself between your teeth, and you did your best to fight the rage that tinged your eyes with tears. Your friends saw this, noticing immediately, the emotion that washed over your face, paling your features and dimming a smile that brought them laughter that lasted for days. You’d always been the group clown, with the loudest laugh, the brightest smiles, you were the one they’d all turn to when they couldn’t hold themselves up. You were a force to be reckoned with, you fought their battles when they couldn’t even hold themselves up. You never failed to show up with booze and ice cream to heal broken hearts. You brought things that made you think of friends, you remembered the finest details and came through every time. You listened to the quietest ones, heard every story, laughed at the lamest jokes. Seeing you with tears streaming involuntarily down your face as you tried to hide it, wiping them as fast as they came, it broke their collective hearts. They looked at one another, an unspoken question “how do you skip to the part of the storm that sprouts the flowers when the rain stops?”

Your relationship with sleep was toxic, it came and went as it pleased, your eyes were sunken, it was three A.M. and you felt your thoughts running through your mind a million miles a minute. Your head in your hands as another memory floated to the surface.

Panic overwhelmed you, hearing something, or someone, rustling around the kitchen, you grabbed the gun you kept tucked under your mattress. You cocked it, and took the safety off, holding it out in front of you in a defensive position. You opened your creaking door, the noise working at your nerves as you creeped into the kitchen where the only thing that illuminated the dark room was the bulb from the old white fridge. You watched silently as the head ducked from inside the fridge, you found it peculiar, but all you saw was a figure in your home you didn’t know. Getting closer, you held the barrel of the gun to the head of the man that stood in your kitchen.

“Hands up, Foo. Before I blow your brains all over my backsplash.” You threatened, your voice tense, and you were met with laughter that was all too familiar. Furrowing your brows, you were still panicked, not thinking straight. You shifted the gun so the bullet that was about to fly, only ripped through his hair. The shot rang loud, causing Coco, who you didn’t know was Coco, to crash to the ground.

“Crazy bitch!” he shouted, you flicked on the light, still having the gun pointed at him. Your eyes widened quickly, the man on your floor was Coco, and now there was a bullet lodged into your ceiling. You could kiss your security deposit goodbye, fuck, and you just shot at Coco. You put the safety back on, and set it on your counter before going to help him. A few minutes passed before both of you sat in fits of laughter, him mocking your voice, your words.

Coco told you so many times that the night you nearly shot him in the head, was the night he fell for you entirely. Sure, he’d known you were the one way before that. That night, though, he knew he was in love with you. That night he swore he’d break past your barriers, he’d demolish how you saw yourself, he taught you to love you, he made you promises to show you love like no other, and to show you that you didn’t have to be afraid of either physical and emotional aspects of love. He did do exactly that, but then ripped it away from her. Leaving her heart with him, and her chest feeling heavy with nothing. Once again tears were brought to your eyes, you were thankful for his love, but without it? you wished you’d never had experienced it in the first place. Maybe you wouldn’t be hurting now.

You were brought out of your train of thought by the knocking on your door, furrowing your brows, you got up from your spot on the counter, where you were thinking of better times, you looked through the peephole and it felt like someone took a vacuum to your weak lungs. Coco. Struggling to breathe proper, you just intended on ignoring him, it was the first time in months youd seen him and you didn’t know if you could handle it. Your heart screamed at you to let him in, he looked beat up, tired, and one of his eyes was bandaged up, he looked broken. you wanted to embrace him, forget the distance, but your mind scolded you, reminding you of the progress youd made, bouncing back from the pain oh so slowly. This could set it all back. So you decided, you wouldn’t open the door. He’s a big boy. You silently turn on your heel, away from the door.

“I’m sorry.” you heard him rasp, and you froze in your spot, a deer caught in headlights. You couldn’t move. Couldn’t breathe. “I know you’re there, I know you’re awake and I know you know it’s me. You have your kitchen light on, so I saw you stand on your toes to look through the peephole because you’re too short.” you cursed his observant ways, how well he knew you, like he had quirk notes tattooed on the back of his hand and read them like a bible. “I’m sorry I didn’t notice when you left, that I was too deep in my own world to see how me fading away for my own selfish needs was hurting you. I’m sorry I made it seem like I didn’t care, that it hurt you, I’m sorry that I made promises and broke them. I started thinking about things I never knew I wanted until you marched your stubborn self in my life and gave me a taste of a love that changed me. It scared the fuck out of me.”

That familiar burn of emotion lit up your head, and singed your chest. You let his words sink in, you couldn’t speak, not yet. Squeezing shut your eyes, you turned back to the door, setting your hand on the knob. You felt the door shift, like he’d gotten up from leaning his head against the poorly tinted wood. He got it, you could feel him prepare to walk away. If you love something, let it go. But Coco came back. He came back. You unlocked it, and turned the knob. Looking at him through sore eyes. “Running when you’re scared isn’t an option for me.” you said, defeat obvious in your voice. He stopped, turned to you and closed in quick. You pushed his hands away. “You can’t - You can’t just show me, tell me, and hold it to me that i shouldn’t shut you out, and i should trust you, and i should turn to you before anyone and anything else only to turn around and do that to me. You can’t do that and come running back.” you practically yelled at him, your voice shaking and raw.

“I know, I know I’m sorry.” he said, his hands dropping to his sides when you reached forward and yanked him in with all your might. The gesture was aggressive, sure. But pure.

“i’m sorry too.” you muttered, embracing him tightly.

—

tag list :

@queenbeered

@mayans-sauce

[diavolosthots]

I wan anything you feel like writing. Fluff, angst, death, anything. As long as it’s Lucifer please

I really want to write some sad, heartaching fics. So theres that. Mightve used this outline from an old fic of mine but ssshhh

Warning: Heartache, cheating, mentions of alcohol

Gone ( LUCIFER X GN!READER )

They say that the first few months of a relationship are the happiest because the two people in it are in their honeymoon phase and fail to see any flaws. They ignore any red flags and any wrong doings from their partner. Instead, they lay in each others arms and talk about the future like it isnt the most uncertain thing in the world and ages away. They talk about how much their hearts swell in each other's presence and the kind of happiness they give one another. How much they could kiss each other's lips for hours on end and how their hands fit together like theyre meant to be. There's always that air of uncertainty when someone flirts with the other and an air of puppy love thats surely to never leave their heads. Lucifer felt just that with you; this seemingly never ending honeymoon phase that brought stars to your eyes and love to your soul. 

He's embarrassed by it, really. How much you swoon him and make him feel weak at his very core. Of course, he would never admit that. Not openly, but you can see it. You see it in the gentleness that overcomes him.

He remembers the subtle touches and the soft flirty phrases whispered in each other's ears at the beginning, and the lifelong adventures that you guys seemed to go on. From walking on the beach in the middle of the night, chasing each other in the sand like little children, to rainy afternoons when you guys went to get coffee and you forgot your umbrella; a cliché movie scene he will make sure to seal with a kiss. His brain floods with images of annoying his brothers and releasing a light chuckle at Satan's angry face when a bag of flour got poured over him by Beelzebub, or when you turned to 'accidentally' washing Asmodeus' sparkling white pants that he bought for a special occasion with a bright red t-shirt right before the very important event he had to go to. You made him laugh so many times; relaxed him so many times. Although he has a hard time admitting it.

But he also remembers the soft first kiss that finally broke through both of you guys' feelings, how flushed your cheeks were and how warm you hand felt in his hand. 

Most importantly, he remembers how you made him feel. The warmth and love he craved for so long came flooding into him like a tsunami every time he was around you, every time you touched. How your laugh rang in his ears and how his shirt caught all your tears. How he was always there for you because he felt like that is the least he could do after you gave him not just your love, but your time and patience. Yet it seemed like it was never enough and this time he was the one crying. 

Lucifer was angry. He felt betrayed. Used. Dirty. But most importantly he felt hopeless. He made a decision a long time ago; that you were the one he was going to keep by his side. That you'd be the one to stand by him for the rest of your life. That he was the one to keep bringing a smile to your face. He would be the one to get your heart beating and your cheeky flushing. Lucifer would make sure that you're taken care of, in every sense of the way. That he would be your knight in shining armor, your angel in disguise, no matter the challenges you guys might face. But how could he still be all that? 

To see you, in a sea of rose petals and candles, looking as beautiful as ever, with another demon, crushed him. He simply had gone to get a bottle of champagne to celebrate, because he was so sure that you'd say yes, so sure that you'd be the one to keep making him happy like this, so sure you were the one that he wanted to keep loving for the rest of his life. 

Seeing another one balls deep inside you, giving you the pleasure that Lucifer thought only he could give you,.... It crushed him…. But he didn't fall to his knees. No. He wouldnt give you the satisfaction of seeing him like that. Instead, he threw the champagne bottle at the wall, barely missing both of you and your apparent new lovers' heads, which were now turned in shock to look at him. He saw your lips moving, forming apologetic words, but he didn't hear them. He couldnt hear them. 

Lucifer stormed out of the room that night, the diamond ring thrown at your face and long forgotten. He ran through the storm filled night that so much represented his feelings. Did Diavolo knew, he wondered? Was he aware of the feelings he felt? The feelings of anger… of sorrow… and heartbreak. 

He went back to that liquor store where he retrieved the bottle of champagne… his new best friend, and bought himself several bottles of different things; vodka, rum, red wine, white wine, tequila, bourbon… anything he could get his hands on. Some liquids entered his body, some bottles were thrown at his walls with tear filled eyes and desperate screams, finally and for once, letting his emotions take control. He was gripping his hair, knowing if he pulled just a little harder he'd pull himself apart. Bruises covered his knuckles from where he hit the walls and broken glass bottles, clothes were in disarray on the floor, his life was a mess. 

How could someone that he trusted, that he oh so much loved, do this to him? How could someone break his heart into these tiny pieces and stomp on them like it was nothing? Was this payback for all the pain he, himself, caused? The irony almost made him laugh, made him drown himself in another couple bottles. 

Days passed, weeks went by. Lucifer has barely slept; kept himself awake and numb on hundreds of different alcohol bottles. His living space was unrecognizable. Walls were stained with various glass, liquids, and blood. Picture frame were broken. His voice was gone from all the screaming and crying. Succubi left his room on the regular. Diavolo was worried. Even his family attempted to reach out to him to no avail. No one has seen him or heard of him. And he cant say he will ever step into the light again, because the Lucifer you came to know and love was gone again, back to his former self. A faint picture of the past. 

A picture you took with you the night you decided to break him. 

[randomestpersononearth]

Questions

Yes I still do this. I don't even know what to call these since I am asking questions, then I end up answering them. Whatever.

Why aren't Hajime and Kenshiro allowed to have guns?

For a quick refresher, during the last event of the new years tournament, Hajime pulls out a gun with rubber bullets and Kenshiro goes all

"You are not authorized to have a gun"

But why aren't they? Like its ok to have a knife frisbees, exploding numchuks, and a whip with needles in it, but at Nanba Prison, we draw the line at guns. I'm kinda glad that there isn't guns though, but it is kinda weird how they wouldnt be permitted to have one.

Why hasn't anyone found the Man with the Scars hideout? or Has someone found the man with the scars hideout?

From what I've seen, the hideout isnt really that secret. You can assume that it is like Nanba since the out side of it faces the ocean, so why hasn't someone just ran into it on accident. Like someone is going fishing and they this huge concrete building. I know if someone was to go near it they would probably die, but i would think that it should be a little less hard to find. But it does look cool on the inside though.

Also taking this moment to say

Elf is a diva.

What if there was secret passageways that can teleport you across the prison?

This is more of a possibly Canon moment, but still, the prison is huge, and I think that even Hajime would become tierd of running around everywhere, so why not have secret passageways!!

Also it would be alot of fun.

How did Jyugo get to Building 13 to eavesdrop on Tskuamo?

I know that Jyugo is a escape artist extrodinare, but from this conevent map,

Please ignore my poor circle drawing skills.

Jyugo would have had to walk from head quarters (where the stadium is) to building 13, and you all know that he wouldn't be able to do that. And make it back in time.

How does Korjio walk?

I'm not giving up on this one. I asked this question a while back and I got an anwser from @pixelsheadspace, which was Korijo glides on a steam. But that doesn't make any sense!! He has fins! He has a tail, also he goes out on public! And talks to children! People are going to think that's weird! But if Sho said it it's definitely true, so I just need to deal with it. But seriously! Why couldn't he use a wheel chair, or mold his watery tail thing into legs?

Why does Shin need a anvil to crush his skull?

(You can answer that one on your own)

[tigerdrop]

Cringe is dead, talk to me about the funny half-life men and their relationship

okay here is my essay. it is titled These Guys Actually Like Each Other, and Gordon Freeman Is Just Kind Of A Dick*

(disclaimer: these are just my 2 cents. dont take me too seriously! im just some guy online who has watched this shit too many times.)

first things first. these guys actually like each other. this is a key aspect of their relationship. benrey, obviously and textually, digs gordon freeman - you dont flirt that heavily with guys you arent into, and so much of what he says and does is geared around making gordon crack up. thats pretty gay.

but the counterpart to this is that gordon freemans pretty fucking gay for benrey, too. you may say, “oh, but word of god says its not requited!” and to you i will say: bull shit. gordon is uniquely obsessed with benrey compared to all the other characters. if gordon didnt like the fucking guy, he wouldnt giggle with him and share in-jokes with him and bring him up every 5 seconds when benreys not around. thats concern, bro. thats worry. thats real shit

but i cant blame people for thinking that gordon freeman genuinely doesnt like benrey. benreys partially responsible for some of the worst things that have happened to him, the Arm Thing among them. and gordons very insistent afterward that he doesnt like benrey. he even goes so far as to try to kill benrey a couple times. to this, i must argue that gordon freeman is just kind of a dick.

lets talk facts here. canon. Lore. from the moment we hop into gordons shoes, we can see that he is a jerk to every npc on his way into black mesa. this is his default: a dude who just runs his mouth and says rude shit. he calls tommy a freak within 5 minutes of meeting him. he infantilizes the guy and barely considers him a real scientist. he doubts that bubby is a real name for like no fuckin reason. in “real life”, this is because its funny, and wayne is trying to make a funny half-life stream. in a textual sense, this is because gordon “hlvrai” freeman is a dick. this is the way he acts, consistently, throughout the series.

(brief aside: this is why the whole “gordon is a nice guy and a great dad” characterization baffles me. the way he actually acts in canon is, in short, bitchy and lacking in self-awareness. and i love that for him, i really do. it makes the moments where he just tries to be a nice guy stand out. but thats the thing: his intermittent moments of decency and kindness are not the whole of his personality! this dude kind of sucks most of the time!)

the way that gordons general asshole attitude extends to benrey is complicated. in fairness, benrey makes it his job to annoy the shit out of gordon as much as possible, and that warrants a negative attitude, but gordons pretty paranoid and ends up blaming benrey for nearly everything that happens to him, regardless of if its warranted. this is a pattern he exhibits both before and after the Arm Thing. its a little bit of a dick move! especially considering that, prior to the whole “betrayal” subplot (which was not exactly planned very far in advance), benrey is no more malicious or annoying than anybody else gordons having to travel with.

(okay, this is kind of a subjective evaluation, but still. my point stands that benrey is not any more of a hindrance to his progress than anybody else in the science crew, and neither is he particularly more violent or murderous. hell, gordon freeman has probably killed more guys than benrey. benrey just tends to get.......special treatment.)

all that said, i am still convinced that gordon really fucking likes benrey. please consider with me the following: it would be remarkably easy for gordon to just ignore him and do what he has to do, but he doesnt. he could stop engaging. he could stop thinking about benrey. he could stop bringing benrey up to the rest of the crew every time benrey leaves to do his own thing for awhile. but he doesnt. and, again, yeah, the extra-textual reason for this is “two guys are doing an improv comedy thing and bouncing off of scorpy is kind of the point”, but within the text it reads to me as gordon not being about to get the dude off his mind.

and this is in addition to all the times we see gordon being genuinely nice and receptive toward benrey! its in the little things: laughing the hardest and longest at benreys jokes. only ever reciprocating that stupid underwater “BBBBB” thing with benrey. trying to catch benrey when he falls, despite his insistence moments earlier that benrey should hop in the wack ass crystal generator and get hypermurdered. fondly remarking that benreys sweet voice sounds beautiful. his sort of flustered responses to most of benreys overt flirting. none of this is the way normal people react to a guy they hate. this is all fuckin gay to me, man.

its this combination of the outward insistence that gordon hates benrey with his inner eagerness to be around him and think about him and engage with him that gives off strong “repression” vibes, to me. for whatever reason - pride, embarrassment, resentment - gordon maintains a front of hating the guy and wanting to kill him for a lot of the series, but it doesnt gel with the way he fucking giggles and plays along half the time that benrey starts fucking with him. its a game, and that game is one of the only ways gordon knows to manifest affection for him.

(remember “oh my god, hes got a knife!”? that was the gayest shit i ever seen in my life. tittering like a schoolgirl while benrey chases him around like “im gonna get you haha”. insanity.)

the cool thing about repression is that you can have it manifest in a lot of ways! and this is where things like “headcanons” and “my own personal affection for repressed bisexual men” come in. a lot of how i characterize their relationship is an extrapolation of a lot of things like gordons canonical insecurity issues/anxiety, gordons whole anti-bootboy thing screaming “internet wokeboy who means well but probably has a lot of repressed baggage” to me, etc.

how do you get massive amounts of sexual repression out of what you see in canon, you might ask? well. if wayne would stop having gordon talking about being jerked off by the suit, or talking about chugging a 40-gal drum of potion and having to hold his piss, or worrying about being eaten by benrey the moment he sees benrey at setscale 10, maybe i would have a higher opinion of gordon “hlvrai” freeman and whatever latent psychosexual issues hes got going on. but here we are

i havent even touched yet upon how benrey feels about gordon. this one is helpfully made a little more plain by the fact that benrey very much wants to suck his dick in canon. (i dont even have to go into details. we all know.) but IMO the best part about this ship isnt just that they dig each other, but how. benrey gets overtly flirtatious in the second half of the series, but IMO his preferred method of flirting is just fucking with gordon: chasing him with knives, shoving him around in a bathroom, trying to get scans of his feet. but all in like a slapstick, giggly, fun-and-games sense, you know? at least when it works.

a lot of the time, though, it doesnt work out that way. he clearly just likes doing it whether or not gordon responds positively. which is, you know, Weird. not very nice. but also in line with the way everybody else treats gordon freeman. gordons kind of the universes chew toy in any given universe, and the same holds true here. hes kind of helpless......subjected to 4 demons attempting to make his life as difficult as possible. in a way its cathartic.

sorry. i got sidetracked. anyway, benrey very much likes to mess with him and unnerve him and demean him and i will be perfectly frank with you: that is hot. i have problems and illnesses and one of them is that i am a masochist who goes crazy for that kind of thing. calling gordon a “dirty lil boy” and telling him to “look at the mess [he] made” is some straight up kink scene shit.

i like to imagine that a lot of this behavior isnt caused just by the guy who played him wanting to be funny and antagonistic, but by benrey as a character not really understanding what constitutes “pushing a joke too far”. hes not human, and whatever he is doesnt have a very normative way of understanding the world around him, full of people who actually get hurt for real and die for real. benrey expresses what seems to be genuine surprise and distress after the Arm Thing, as if he didnt know that his actions would have serious consequences. and it doesnt seem to fully sink in afterward, either.

it reads a lot to me like hes used to video game rules and treating people around him like NPCs. if they get hurt, its no big deal, because its not real. he likes jamming random buttons on gordons interface and seeing what comes out. its probably a lot of fun for him, the same way that seeing a streamer or a youtuber suffer for our amusement is fun. its like, you know, in my opinion, gordons very cute when hes frazzled. hes also cute when hes laughing. pushing gordons buttons has a 50/50 chance of either of these things. and this is how he ultimately flirts with gordon: by pulling his pigtails.

but at the same time, benrey does legit care about gordon and knows some boundaries. benreys the one most often shooting at enemies to protect gordon, and he spent most of the last act trying to convince gordon to turn around and not fight him because they were friends (best friends, to be specific). he just lacks a lot of the emotional intelligence it would take to express the feeling of “he digs gordon and likes seeing his face get all red and sweaty regardless of the cause”. and gordon lacks the emotional intelligence it would take to express the fact that he doesnt know if he likes or hates benrey and hes scared as hell that its the former

because, lets be real. unironic benrey-liking is a sign of problems disorder. just look at all these words ive written about it.

can you imagine? this bizarrely powerful, non-human entity that can shrug off gunfire and grow to the size of a building has decided that youre his new plaything. benreys the bored guy booting up skyrim and fucking around in the console, and gordons the hapless favorite follower that hes taken a liking to. its a really fun dynamic IMO

after all this, its safe to say my title is a little misleading. the asterisk stands for * and So Is Benrey, Actually. they are both kind of awful dudes who thrive off of teasing each other and they deserve each other. and i am crazy about it. thank u for coming to my TED talk

[iridescentides]

okay. hsmtmts episode 3 thoughts under the cut

YES i always start with gina, and what about it??? i would die for her. anyway im CRYING over how she thought her mom forgot about her like? youve been gone for like 2 months, literally what parent would stop caring that quick? she doesnt think she deserves love like literally most of the time and my heart is ACHING

i came into this episode knowing the chocolates would be a bait and switch bc the preview 100% wanted us to think it was ricky. and yet i still caught myself believing he did it for a second there. i was looking forward to some good rina content this episode and i cant believe i let myself get bamboozled. like the conversation was nice but completely one-sided, and he ignored her to call nini; i get that hes literally in a relationship but im not a huge fan of how he just stopped giving a shit about gina once it wasnt romantic anymore? like,, they couldnt even stay friends?

generally my thing about rina isnt that i think its some big spectacular ship, but moreso that i always go for ships that make my favorite character the happiest. so most of my rina shipping comes from seeing how ricky was the first person that gina was so happy and open with, and how she trusts him even though she trusts literally no one ever and she just self-discloses around him unprompted. the infatuation and crush part on gina’s side is the part i like. but ricky? annoying n flaky as shit

random offshoot but i wouldve loved to see the chocolates come from ej. it wouldnt have made sense just based on the episode we were given, but what if gina and ricky had had that conversation in the hallway and ej overheard them and wanted to do something nice for her since he didnt have a gf to buy stuff for this year? could you IMAGINE? i know im gonna be complaining about how theyre throwing ej away all season but like seriously @ writers we get it youre getting rid of ej in s3. no need to cut him almost completely out of the show in s2. please someone give my man some PLOT im dying

ashlyn telling gina “i wish i could give you a valentine” is simultaneously gay and reeking of straight people nonsense. you can give your friends gifts on valentines day??? i didnt receive a romantic valentines gift until i was 17 years old but i still got stuff from friends every year? umm

speaking of ashlyn i get the track that theyre trying to go on by making it seem groundbreaking that a disney princess role went to someone whos not a size 2 but like. shes still a white woman and im tired. plus theyre dancing around it anyway. if you wanna give her body image issues then just fucking commit. half assing that conversation helps no one.

redlyn was very cute this episode. im still annoyed that theyre getting so much time and focus this season but like. i am a big red stan. the song in the credits was cute too

speaking of, tell me why they literally crammed all the songs at the end of this episode??? i was honestly thinking they wouldnt have any songs this week, thats how long it took

kourtneys beauty and the beast was pretty. also i know theyre gonna make howie her love interest bc clearly if a boy and girl on tv interact for more than 2 seconds it has to turn romantic. im pre-annoyed. 

the ricky/nini plot didnt make a ton of sense bc... why didnt ricky just... hang out with her in the waiting room at the hospital? i am very confused as to why they had to make it so angsty and tropey like. youre literally in the same city and theres an easy solution here

im wondering if theyre gonna try to make miss jenn and mr mazzara a thing? im on the fence about how i feel about that tho. but i am annoyed that they didnt show miss jenns conversation with rickys dad at all

theyre making carlos so annoying this season, like idk whats going on or why they thought they needed to phone it in with his characterization this time around but like. what even was this seblos plot?

kourtney and seb conversations are always cute so i loved the piano scene

back to kourtney for a sec: why would big reds parents hire her as manager? why are they picking inexperienced teenagers for leadership roles? if nothing else, if howie has been around forever, why wouldnt they just promote him to manager??? instead of someone who has no idea how their pizza shop works like. i get that theyre trying to #girlboss kourtney this season, but was getting a job not enough growth and independence?

overall my biggest Gripe™ with this episode is that there wasnt enough gina or ej. and i get that its a big cast and not everyone can be the focus every time but literally when did redlyn become such a big priority to the writers? why are they getting so much screentime? i dont hate them or anything but like, i thought the main main characters were supposed to be nini, ricky, gina, and ej. so why is one of them getting like,, two lines per episode? im really out here picking up little ej crumbs like they wasted SO much potential with him as a character