#and also probably even MORE depressing
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🦇the more arms, the merrier🦇
#in my traditional art era#probably for a while#the pic being so crispy adds to it I swear not that my phone camera is dogshit#alecz'makingz#hollow knight#troupe master grimm#grimm#hk#i'm not even BOTHERING to keep their designs consistent anymore#lots of unnecessary details and questionable anatomy proportions let's go‼️🗣️🗣️#also my bugs getting sharper and sharper#I WANT TO DRAW MORE I HATE DEPRESSION
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really the crux of the antagonism in Senna and Prost’s rivalry was the possibility of death on the race track. Prost kept on the side of the cautious, publicly adamant about not wanting to die in a racing car, even if it cost him competitively. He’s said he never drove at 100%, he was infamously a poor wet weather driver and he tried to not let emotion dictate his behaviour behind the wheel, so as not to fall into dangerous impulsive territory. This is an approach shaped by the deaths of Gilles Villeneuve, Riccardo Paletti, Elio de Angelis and though it was not a death: the career-ending injury (which, note, occurred in the rain) of Didier Pironi also. Senna, on the other hand, was known to be more aggressive and at times, reckless on track. Though Senna’s experience regarding death in his career was less personal, more distanced, he was of course well aware of the fact of it, of the fact that death was an ever present possibility. But his approach was a refusal to let death interfere with him competitively, rather opting to push himself to the limit because he doesn’t want chances at victory to slip away. It’s a matter of death will not affect me (I will not let this sport take my life) vs death will not affect me (I will not let the possibility of death hurt my driving) and the antagonism comes in where, despite these differing perspectives, both Prost and Senna still really, really wanted to win races, championships and to have them at the front together, directly fighting for something which they both desire greatly, they are athletes after all, it is no wonder these perspectives would eventually clash. Take the incident at Portugal 1988 for example. I consider this to be the first crack in the teammateship. Senna and Prost race down the straight. Prost is in Senna’s slipstream, he darts to the side, setting up the overtake… when Senna quickly swerves towards him, forcing Prost even further to the side and he’s suddenly so frightfully close to the pit wall that crew have to lift up their boards in order to avoid the battling McLarens. This, this manoeuvre was too much for him and he tells Senna as much afterwards, calls him crazy, says that if Senna wants the championship that badly he can have it because Prost won’t let himself be put at risk like that.
#i also feel like it’s important to note that obviously athletes undertaking extreme sports#don’t consider death or serious injury the way we the spectators do#for them it’s traditionally not the first or second or even the third thing on their mind. probably not the fourth either#unless a death has occurred recently#or it’s more personal like prost with gilles.#but this aspect of the senna-prost rivalry is a very interesting one. important to discuss it with nuance#although really depressing when you think about it too long. for obvious reasons#alain prost#ayrton senna#asap
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Power-Couple Uravity & Midoriya-Sensei
I know I'm incredibly late to the party but guess who's finally finished MHA and is all sorts of emo about all of these losers... 🥹
(In my head I imagine them posing like this for a magazine cover, but it's been a while since I did much drawing in general, so here's just a sloppy little piece to try and get somewhat back into the groove of things lol maybe I will come back to this idea one day ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)
#mha#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#bnha#midoriya izuku#ochako uraraka#izuocha#izuku x ochako#dekuchako#ochadeku#teacher izuku#pro hero uravity#mha 431#post canon mha#shioris_art#boy do I have mixed opinions on this entire final arc but it is nice to see these two finally getting their shit together lol#I can't believe MHA is officially over 😭😭#this has been THE series to show me that no I'm not just a grumpy cynical bitch#no I CAN actually still love a Shounen series and no I don't hate on shit just because it's popular xD#I love this story and these characters so so much#so even if a lot of the issues I have with the final arc probably could have been solved#if only the series could have had a few more arcs and years in the oven I also kind of pity Hori you know?#he gets torn to absolute shreds for the smallest things and all these last chapters practically radiate exhaustion and overwork#it honestly just made me sad reading the manga so I'm not quite keen to be as harsh as other people are about the ending#especially because the bonus chapter smoothes over a lot of issues I had with Izuku's personal ending (ch. 430 was a bit depressing tbh T.T#and because I think most of the individual pieces are kinda neat even if the journey to them was all sorts of wonky#but I should probably siphon this into another post before all my ramblings run away with me again lol#so just to stay on the topic of izuocha: I for the life of me do not get why some people seem to hate this ship so much lol xD#well ofc I know the reason why lol... but WHY?#it's adorable and suuuper inoffensive; like what else do you hate? puppies??? lol
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y'all.....i checked my pixiv bookmarks yesterday.......and my kaishin bookmarks.....there's quite a lot that got purged ;-; I'm WEEPINGGGG ;-;-;-;-; i know artists delete their stuff just like that there but MAN is it depressing to see dead links ;-;
#i was looking for something in my bookmarks yesterday snd it was a depressing sight 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#dude i didnt realize there was so much deleted art 😭😭😭#i know it's just routine there but im still sad man 🥲🥲🥲#a lot of those are probably santaro stuff too ueueuuee#im rambling cos theres this one santaro 3/4 gosho boys art thats so silly funny but i cang even link it anymore cos that got purged too ;-;#anyway it was about shinichi wishes he had thr same initials as holmes and hakuba is like “i do#& shinichi's like WAIT YOURE RIGHT NO FAIR & hakuba jokingly says well you can marry me so you can be sh too & Shinichi's like WAIT UR RIGHT#and kaito's scandalized and yells WAIT WHAT ABOUT ME SHINICHI MARRY ME and shinchi's like i never agreed to anything and kaito is all sulky#while hattori in the background is like hey if you marry me you'd be sh too and shinich is like NO LMFAOOOOO#it was so funny i need to ramble about it lol#need more of the 3/4 boys shenanigans#prattles#ALSO I FORGOT TO SAY BUT SHINICHI WAS LIKE nah i dont wanna marry you cos i wont get the sh initials with you TO KAITO LMAOOOO#his goofy ass lmfaooo
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Animorphs Book club book 8
My reaction can be summarised as this (yet again):

I don't have many thoughts because uh. That was depressing as hell and I need to stare at a wall.
But I DO gotta say that the subplot with the dead "wife" was so telenovela-esque that for a good minute it was more funny than depressing. Then it got depressing. But it was so jarring and so far out of the left field that for a good second my friend and I had to pause the audiobook and laugh because ????????? Unhinged to just appear, go "I am Eslin, I have a G U N. My secret wife was killed. By my boss. Now I yearn for sweet sweet revenge." and not elaborate. Like. Damn dude ok. Sorry about our wife also. Fucking killed me that he continued like "So anyway I reacted adequately by killing all of my boss' friends. Starvation style." Like ???? Jjhsgdjsdfghsjdfh what????? I mean damn I do respect the grind set but also that's such an absurd escalation out of context. Did your boss kill your wife? Kill all of his friends! And in context the most absurd part is probably the notion that Visser 3 has friends??????? Like??? Wait no Eslin. Eslin wait. I love your John Wick-esque "fridged wife" trope swag but you need to slow down. I need details. I need you to tell me HOW your boss even has friends.
In my heart I do not believe we will see that madman ever again but on god I do wish for an insane telenovela-esque sequence of him just showing up at the most random moment to do exactly one thing and that's to pull a gun on Visser 3. For no reason, I just think it would be kinda funny. Like,,,did your boss kill your wife?:
Kill all of his friends
Acquire a G U N
Attempt to make the local Andalite youth assassinate your boss for you
Pull the gun on your boss
???????
Profit (probably die)
Aside from that, I also need to say that the moment when Ax called Tobias his close friend at the end was so sweet. Also ngl kinda...concerning/harrowing how much Tobias really doesn't give a shit about not being a human. Like it doesn't seem so concerning from other points of view but the way Ax gets increasingly weirded out by Tobias not asking him about the nothlit (idk if I'm spelling that right rn) really reminds you that it IS kinda worrying. Like I get it, I mean...Tobias has no family that cares about him, he has no friends outside of the Animorphs friend group, why would he care? But it's still kinda...yeah.
Also unimaginably surprised by the amount of collective guilt present in the Andalite society. You'd think they're Catholic or something the way they keep beating themselves up and force everyone to also beat themselves up and their system itself is saturated with the guilt and shame and they teach it to kids at school from an early age. Like. Jesus Christ calm down. Stop that. As the Animorphs said at the end of the book - the Andalites made an oopsie once. It sucked, yes, it continues to have consequences that suck, yes, but it happens. Sometimes you think you're doing something kind and it turns into a disaster. That does not mean you should beat yourself up for it or, god forbid, tell other people that they should not be kind lest they make a mistake. Damn I guess we should all be cold assholes forever, huh? I'm sure that can't have any negative consequences.
Andalite society in general seems kinda unhinged. Like...do I get why it is like that? Yeah. But do I find it unhinged? Also yeah. Like ok duty and the collective being the most important things is totally sensible for a prey animal. Safety of the herd and all that. But it's still kinda unhinged that they do make everyone have duty as their number 1 priority and that they have rituals devoted to it. Not all rituals are spiritual or religious in nature, but the morning ritual is kinda...borderline religious in a way. More spiritual than religious, I suppose, but yeah.
Also I love Ax so much. 10/10 character. He has it all: an incredibly hilarious desire for cinnamon buns, the inability to act like a human being (same dude), spitting random facts at completely random times, a thirst for blood only a 13(?) years old could have, a dysfunctional obsession with duty and doing what is right that only a 13(?) years old could have (also lol yeah dude I was like that when I was 13 too. dw you'll grow out of it), he can even code. And he might even be bi (I'm joking but I' referring to the fact that he was like "Yeah so when I morph into a human form I suddenly agree that Rachel is beautiful and that Marco is cute.").
#animorphs#animorphs book club#honestly though i was starting to wonder WHEN some Yeerks would go 'fuck it i dont hate to put up with that idiots shit. i vote for mutiny.#because like...Visser 3 is...well id describe him as the empires weakest soldier. like he seems to have SOME brain cells rattling around bu#he doesnt seem to use them correctly?? like ok he is pretty paranoid and that itself is annoying. he is obsessed with Andalites enough to b#mockingly called 'half-Andalite fool' by some of his subordinates. he lacks charisma and cannot for the life of him even look like a leader#of any sort. he is deeply unpleasant to be around and nobody enjoys his company. he is half-decent at planning but only half-decent#and what he manages to plan he tends to ruin by every other aspect of himself (either he antagonises his subordinates so much that they don#tell him information or he makes an impulsive decision etc etc)#he is nearly fully incompetent and his only advantage is that everyone is afraid of him. but the problem is that theyre afraid for a#good reason and that is BAD because that means that one day theyll become too pissed to be afraid. like. ok. he has a famine on his hands.#he makes the brutal and cruel but strategically sound decision to reduce the numbers of the soldiers. he immediately fucks up big time#by killing them more or less at random instead of being strategic about it. a strategic plan would be to kill someone and find out who#all of their colleagues are and kill those too. if you dont kill a subordinates colleague because they happen to have a more important#position; of course that person will be pissed off and probably organise a group with OTHER similar people and that group WILL#attempt to murder you (probably brutally) or die trying. so basically he antagonises literally everyone around him by being personally#unpleasant; volatile; conceited and impulsively aggressive AND incapable of as much as hearing feedback or willing to change his mind#and the last point also antagonises people on a formal level. and he also kills their friends. at random. and threatens everyone constantly#hes like a if a chihuahua had a huge scorpion tail and it was absolutely deadset on asserting itself by simply slashing everything and#everyone with that tail. like genuinely he has no charisma he doesnt even pretend to care about anything that doesnt interest him he is#inflexible he cant adapt his plans half of the time because he wants them to be THAT way and not THAT way also why is he like my mother?#like the longer im typing this for the more i feel like im just talking about my mother. damn. thats depressing.#anyway. my point was yeah i would have been surprised if nobody wanted his head on a plate. i think all the Yeerks who are sick of his shit#should unionise. i just think itd be funny. like several of them are just like 'Man i dont give a shit about this war or whatever i just#want to be allowed to have emotions and to love my coworker over here and also my boss is a nightmare i hope he gets colic and dies'#like ok guys i have a solution. G U N
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man i really wanted to get this fic done by shavuot bc the first and last parts both take place on shavuot but it's already 10k and i'm only like half ish done so no idea how i could manage to write another 8-10k by sunday (or ideally earlier so i can edit properly)... i could post it as chapters? the first two parts are ~97% done so i definitely could do that but i really wanted to just have it all done and posted at once so??? one part does take place on yom kippur so i imagine i can have it done by then??? you'd think i'd probably be able to get that amount done in the next four months...
#ezra.txt#its just like. i literally started this fic bc i was thinking about shavuot and wanting cheesecake#and somehow this mess happened#i honestly dont even know what this fic is doing half the time#it goes from pining to depressive episodes to abbot talking about dry humping next to a sleeping patient during med school#also its probably the most jewish fic i've written#like a lot of my non fanfics are more jewish but this has again grown into it much more than i expected#“than expected” i say as if i honestly planned this enough to really say that
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writing a fic abt rick having an ed bcs why would i recover when i can just project all my issues onto fictional old men in cartoons and pretend everythings better now ‼️
tw eating disorder, minor self harm and vomit near the end
Morty stopped in the open doorway of the garage, watching Rick who was sat scribbling down some kind of invention idea, or equation, or whatever it was he did when Morty wasn't around, for all Morty knew he might well be writing fanfiction.
An involuntary smile pulled at his lips at the idea of his almost 70 year old genius grandfather spending his free time writing silly little stories at his work bench. What would he even write? Ball Fondlers fanfic? Maybe he wrote about his stoic bird friend, Rick had always been touchy with him and Rick wasn't touchy with anyone.
When Morty focused back on Rick he wasn't writing anymore, the slightly crumpled piece of paper shoved to the side as he fiddled with what looked like a small metal box with a bunch of brightly coloured wires poking out of the sides. A small spark shot out of one of the wires Rick was holding and he cursed loudly, shaking his hand.
"Fuck, Morty, are you just gonna– gonna stand there, or are you gonna pass me the fucking, uh– the thing."
Rick waved his hand in the general direction of the shelf nearest to Morty, but there were so many assorted trinkets on the shelves, Morty had no idea if Rick wanted a wrench, or a hammer, or one of his laser guns, maybe the box was like a new battery for them?
"W-what thing, Rick?"
"The thing, Morty! The fucking– the uh, destornillador."
"What? Rick, I don't know what that means. W-w-what is that?"
"Jeez, Morty, what are they teaching you at that crap school you love so much?" Rick scowled, tossing the box to the side and getting up to grab the screwdriver himself.
"I havent been to school in like a month, Rick!" Morty exclaimed. "And even then I only got to stay for like an hour before you were dragging me out again!"
"Whatever." Rick said with a burp, "School's dumb, Morty. I'll teach you Spanish myself. B-but, uh, not now."
He turned back to his box, done with the conversation, but Morty stayed hovering in the room, remembering what he had come for in the first place.
"Okay, um, w-w-well lunch is ready."
"I'm busy."
Morty sighed, having expected that answer already. "When's the last time you ate, Rick? Or slept? Or... showered?" Morty said, wrinkling his nose a little.
Rick ignored him, pulling at a blue wire.
"Rick!" Morty frowned.
"What, Morty? J-jesus christ, what the fuck do you want?"
"I want you to have lunch with the family."
"And I said no, so screw off."
"Rick, come on, it would make mom so happy."
Rick glared at him, not bothering with an answer.
"...Wouldn't y-you do it for your original Beth if you could?" Morty tried.
Rick slammed the box on the table, causing the thin metallic shell to crack, sparks flying from it, the sudden noise making Morty jump.
"The fuck did you just say?" Rick snarled.
"S-s-sorry!" Morty squeaked. "I didn't m-mean– mean it in a bad way!"
"Get the fuck out." Rick said icily, eyes blazing.
Morty stumbled out of the room, shutting the door behind him to the sound of something crashing. Probably Rick throwing the damaged box across the room.
Morty winced. In his defense he was worried about Rick, and sometimes, depending on his mood, something like that would've gotten Rick to cave, clearly he wasn't feeling so sentimental today, more annoyed and angry.
"What was that about?"
Morty startled a little and turned to see Summer looking at her phone behind him.
"Just, y'know, Rick being... Rick."
"Mhm, pro tip, don't bring up his dead daughter to try and blackmail him into something he hates." Summer drawled. "You can only do that if he's already half convinced, or if he's feeling especially depressed sometimes.
"Summer! That's– that's messed up!"
She quirked an eyebrow. "Oh, yeah, so only you can manipulate grandpa Rick?" Summer scoffed. "God forbid women do anything." She said sarcastically and turned to walk away.
"Wait!" Morty fidgeted with his hands. "Can you... help me? To get him to have lunch w-with us? Please?"
"Yes, but not now. He's already upset so if we double down on trying to get him to eat he's only gonna clam up."
Morty nodded. "I know that– but how do you? You don't spend as much time with Rick as I do."
"Because he's like mom. Who do you think got her to stop drinking before parent-teacher conferences at school?"
"Wow. That's pretty fucked up that you had to do that, though, y'know, Summer."
"Yeah, well, we're the Smiths, Morty. Is anyone in this house not disordered?"
Morty winced at the blunt statement, Rick really was rubbing off on her. But it was kind of true.
"Guess it runs in the family." He muttered
"Guess it does."
---
Morty hadn't been planning on seeing Rick again until the next day. He knew that when Rick got upset he needed his space. Morty didn't quite get it because when he was upset all he wanted was for someone to hug him and tell him everything was going to be okay, but Rick wasn't like him he supposed.
If he was being honest it made him nervous to leave Rick alone in those bad headspaces he got into. Rick was volatile and unpredictable and a borderline danger to himself and often others. He'd walked in on a couple... compromising situations where Rick had had to explain away why he was passed out in his chair or why there was blood on his hands and his lab coat despite being the only person in the room.
Morty pretended to believe him when he said he had been doing a messy dissection experiment or that "This isn't blood, this is Balorkian dust I mixed with red Squanchenite fluid from Planet Squanch, Morty." But truthfully those moments haunted him.
However, he didn't want to invade Rick's space, so he let him be and tried to eat and sleep until Rick emerged like nothing had happened, even though Morty knew what habits of his went on behind those closed doors.
Of course Morty's patience had it's limits, like when two hours after he had left Rick in the garage, angry, there was the sound of something smashing, closely followed by an unmistakable sound that Morty had grown too familiar with since Rick had moved in. The sound of a body thudding to the ground.
He was up from the sofa in a flash, at the garage door before Summer could even put down her phone, flinging it open.
He felt like he couldn't breathe, but the only sight that greeted him was a smashed bottle and rick lying on the floor next to it, not looking any more dead than usual, looking up at Morty blearily, cracking a smile.
"Oh, hi Morty. H-hey buddy." He slurred, clearly drunk out of his mind.
"Jesus fucking christ, Rick." Morty said weakly.
"What happened?" Summer breathed, now standing at his side.
"He's just drunk." Morty muttered, wrinkling his nose at the overpowering smell that he hadn't registered before between his state of panic and shallow breathing.
Summer ventured into the garage, picking up an empty bottle and sniffing it. "God, grandpa Rick, what the hell are you drinking in here, fucking rubbing alcohol?"
"Sum-Sum! 'M just having some– some fun drinks. Fun drinks just a lil' bit. Besides I only ever drank rub-rubbin' alcohol once, n' it was– tasted like shit."
"What? I was being sarcastic, why would you drink that?"
"Because I was sad... was sad 'nd lonely after B-b-blood Ridge, couldn't find anythin' else. But 'm not s-sad now."
"What's Blood Ridge?" Summer frowned, "Actually it doesn't matter right now, you need to sober up."
"Get him some water," Morty interjected. "I'll clean up the glass. I also know where he keeps all his hangover serums and stuff, but he told me not to let you into any of his drug stashes."
"Fair enough." Summer shrugged, leaving to get Rick some much needed water.
While she was gone, Morty felt along the wall until he found the small hidden panel under Rick's desk. He fished out the light blue vial of fluid for hangovers, the red one he'd forced Rick to make that would sober him up and a green one that basically equivalated to getting your stomach pumped if you took it, just in case he'd taken more than just alcohol.
He shut the panel securely and placed the three coloured vials on Rick's work bench, grabbing a purple tube-like gadget from a shelf. He pressed a button on the back of it and typed in "Broken Glass" on a small hologram keyboard that emerged, then pressed that first button again. A blue ray shot out, scanning the garage, and the pieces of smashed bottle disappeared in a matter of seconds.
Morty looked over at Rick, who was still lying on the floor, but now he was tracing his fingers along a crack in the cold ground, his expression so solemn he almost looked sober.
"Rick?" Morty asked hesitantly.
"I miss her." He said flatly. "I miss her s-so much."
His words were still a little slurred but his tone had lost all the previous levity.
"I tried to save her, Morty, I t-t-tried, but I couldn't bring her back. And no one could ever replace her." A rough sob escaped his throat. Morty felt frozen. "I'm a crappy fuckin'– piece of shit father but I didn't want to be. I was gonna fuckin' give– give up everything for them, and I would've been happy. I would've been so happy as long as I had them, but he fuckin' took that from me! I nnever even got a chance."
Rick was crying, he was crying so hard that his tears stained the concrete dark grey and snot ran down his face sideways. He was shaking like a leaf and gasping for air.
Morty crouched down next to him, fists clenching and unclenching, unsure if he should hug Rick, or if that would make it worse. What else could he do?
"Oh– oh shit, Rick, I–"
"My little girl, my baby." Rick continued between sobs. "She meant everything to me. S-so yeah, I would be better f-for her if I could, but she's gone. There's no point."
Rick's sudden fit of violent sobs was calming down, replaced by a look that Morty could only describe as pure hoplessness and defeat washing over his features.
"'S no point in anything."
Shit, this was bad. Rick didn't admit defeat, and he certainly didn't talk so openly about his feelings like this.
"Aw jeez, Rick, come on don't– don't– don't say that. we killed Rick Prime, remember?" Morty said, wringing his hands anxiously.
"Yeah, I remember." Rick said, tone now devoid of emotion. "I remember killin' him with my bare hands, watchin' the life drain out of his eyes as his blood dripped down my fists. And I remember nothing changing. W-w-what d'ya do when you achieve your life long goal and nothin's better? It didn't bring them back, it didn't– didn't give me closure or give me a reason to live. I still can't sleep, petrified he's in the fucking house, comin' for my new family, that he'll kill all of you to teach me that t-that's what happens when I-I care about people."
Rick wiped his face with his lab coat sleeve, rubbing away the snot, drool and dried tears while Morty just kneeled next to him, frozen and unsure what to say.
"Rick..." he started but then Summer stepped through the doorway and Rick's demeanour instantly changed.
"Summerfest!" he called out and Morty watched, a little shocked, as Rick's whole face changed in the blink of an eye, going back to the cheerful, goofy expression he'd been wearing when he and Summer first came in. It didn't look artificial to Morty at all, even now that he knew it was. How could Rick just switch it on and off just like that?
"I brought water and coffee." Was all Summer said, placing two mugs on the workbench. "And a cereal bar."
The second statement sounded a little more unsure and Morty could've sworn he saw Rick's jaw clench for a second.
"Gimmie coffee." Rick said, making grabby hands, still lying on the floor.
"Water first." Summer replied, handing him the larger of the two mugs.
Rick pouted a little but as soon as the mug was in his hands he drank thirstily, finishing the whole thing in one go.
"You want more?" Summer asked, taking the mug, but he just shook his head quietly.
"Okay," Morty cleared his throat when his voice came out a little shaky. "drink this."
He handed Rick the red 'get sober' vial and Rick chugged it obediently, making a face. "Tastes like– like shit." He offered.
While he seemed a little calmer after the water and serum, his eyes were still unfocused and his voice sounded thick, like his tongue didn't fit in his mouth properly, hints of his accent were slipping through too.
"Did you- are you on drugs r-right now?" Morty asked, reaching for the green vial of serum.
"Maybe." Rick mumbled. His eyelids were starting to droop a little and he curled up more comfortably on the floor.
"Hey, Rick, don't go to sleep okay? What did you take?" Summer asked, crouching down next to him, shaking him a little. He groaned. "Come on, we just have to make sure you're not overdosing and then you can sleep. Maybe not on the floor."
"'M not overdosing." Rick grumbled.
"What did you take?"
"I dunno. Just some random alien drugs I found i-in my pocket." He said dismissively with a burp. "Actually one of 'em was probably adderall. Look at me bein' all responsible an-and takin' my meds n' shit."
He of course immediately showed his 'responsibilty' by gagging and then throwing up on the floor.
Morty winced, reaching for the purple device again while Summer tried to coax him into drinking the green liquid, frowning deeply.
Finally Rick gave in, sipping from the small vial, and almost instantly his eyes began to clear up a little bit.
"Why'd I make these work so well?" He groaned. Then, "My head is killing me, I want coffee."
Summer passed him the second mug and he gestured toward the hangover serum, which Morty promptly passed to him and Rick poured it in his coffee.
He gulped down half the coffee and sighed, wiping his mouth with his already rather dirty sleeve. "Fuck, that's better."
He downed the rest of it and placed the mug on the ground, getting to his feet shakily. He swayed and nearly fell, leaning onto the wall to steady himself as the dizzy spell passed, and then stretched, his back cracking loudly.
He took a few wobbly steps towards the door but Summer blocked the way.
"Fuck– fuck off Summer I gotta– I'm gonna go take a nap."
"Could you maybe eat something first?" She asked firmly, holding up the cereal bar.
"No."
Rick tried to sidestep her but she blocked the way again.
"Summer, don't fucking piss me off right now, I'm serious."
She stood her ground. "Just eat the cereal bar, grandpa Rick. Please."
"Summer, for fuck's sake, I said no!"
"Grandpa," She sighed, the arm holding the bar dropping defeatedly back down to her side. "Do you have an eating disorder?"
The garage was deathly quiet for a second.
"Wha-What?! I'm not a teenage girl in a f-f-f– goddamn netflix drama, Summer." Rick snarled. "What the fuck kinda question is that?"
He gestured wildly, taking another step forwards, which quickly seemed to be the wrong option as a sudden wave of dizziness hit him hard, making him almost loose his balance. He blindly tried to grab onto the back of his chair somewhere behind him, but missed and fell on his ass.
"Rick!" Morty and Summer both rushed to his side, Morty's eyes beginning to well up a little from all the stress of the day.
"I'm fine, don't– don't fucking touch me." He said, shaking Summer's hand off his shoulder, which caused another wave of nausea to hit.
"Please eat this." Summer said nervously, voice shaking as she pushed the cereal bar into his left hand, his right one gripping at his hair.
"Summer, I promise you if I eat that shit right now I'm gonna throw the fuck up."
"Please?" Morty pouted, eyes big and teary.
All it took was one look at him, and with only a brief moment of hesitation Rick snatched the cereal bar from Summer, muttering angrily under his breath.
Morty only caught "Me cago en la puta." and "Maldito cabrón." which he more or less understood, more familiar with swear words than any other words in the Spanish language.
Rick peeled away the wrapper slowly with unsteady hands and took a small bite.
Morty and Summer watched in silence, not wanting to discourage him by saying the wrong thing—which with Rick could be anything—as Rick uncomfortably ate the cereal bar.
"There you fucking go." He said weakly, Throwing the now empty wrapper at Summer, but missing as it was too light to travel more than a couple centimetres, landing somewhere by his feet.
"Thank you." Summer almost whispered.
They sat in silence for a while, Morty sniffling and rubbing at his eyes and Summer shuffling a bit closer to him for both of their comfort.
Rick was sitting with his knees losely bent and his head braced in his hands, trying to overcome another hit of nausea.
He wouldn't exactly say he tried super hard to keep the cereal bar down, but it wasn't deliberate when he vomited it down the front of his shirt.
"Oh! Aw jeez..." Morty winced.
"I did warn you."
"In our defense, you had every reason to be lying to us."
"Fuck you, Summer." It sounded weak even to his own ears.
She sighed softly.
"Morty, get his shirt off. Do you have pijamas or do you sleep in jeans and a lab coat?"
"Jeans an-and a lab coat."
"...I was joking, but okay." Summer said, flipping the switch that opened Rick's garage closet and grabbing one of his sets of identical outfits.
Rick squirmed, making noises of complaint as Morty tried to take off his current shirt.
"Rick– stay still, you have vomit on your clothes."
"I'm not fucking two years old, Morty." He scowled. "I can change by myself."
Rick tried to sit up but wobbled and then slumped back against the wall, needing more time to recover. Morty reached for his shirt again and this time Rick let him pull it carefully up over his head without resisting. Morty took the new set of clothes from where Summer had left them on the floor next to him.
Summer wasn't looking but Morty still shielded Rick's body from sight with his own, pointedly not mentioning the raised scars and jagged, angry, red cuts littering his arms which he had already suspected would be there.
Rick shifted uncomfortably, seeming relieved when Morty didn't want to talk about it.
"Okay." Morty said, helping Rick pull on his clean lab coat too.
"I'm going to bed." Rick grumbled, not waiting for him to continue, just getting up slowly.
He felt weak and shaky and his brittle old bones weren't exactly helping out. Despite his thousands of cybernetic implants he was still human, much to his dismay, and he couldn't treat his body as badly as he did when he was 30. Not that that ever seemed to stop him, managing to still maintain the same shitty habits he'd had for years at the ripe age of 67.
He stumbled through the dining room, Morty and Summer trailing after him, not discouraged by the glare he sent their way.
As soon as he reached his room, he slumped onto his bed with a groan.
"R-rick?"
"Fuck off, Morty." He snapped into his pillow, a little muffled by it.
Morty hesitated, exchanging a glance with Summer, who shrugged.
"...Ookay, Rick. Uh, see– see you at dinner, today? maybe?'
"Don't count on it."
Summer frowned, Starting to say something, but Rick interrupted, "I'm gonna apply my room's Lock Protocols in ten seconds, so i-if you're still in here, I'm not letting you out until I'm done sleeping. A-a-and if you're standing in the doorway, you're gonna get fucking squashed in the doors."
"Whatever, Rick, fuck you too." Summer huffed, pulling Morty out of the doorway with her.
"Room, activate Sensory Protocol 2. And t-tell Summer to go fuck herself."
"Sensory Protocol 2 activated." Came the mechanical voice and a heavy metal door snapped shut. "Go fuck yourself, Summer."
Summer scoffed. "Dick." Followed by a sigh. "What are we gonna do?"
"I-I don't know." Morty admitted. "There's not much we can do if Rick won't accept help. And he won't."
"So what? We just give up on him?" Summer asked accusingly, putting her hands on her hips.
"No, Summer, J-jeez. I just– We're gonna have to get creative."
"Fuck."
---
thats it thats the end i didnt know how tf to end this but my goal wasnt to rewrite like the bible idfk it was just to put rick through shit and put completely unfair expectations on summer and mortys shoulders so that they could ALL suffer in this fic !! :3 also this is so mf long i sincerely apologise if u read all that
#i feel like all the few rnm fics ive written are set in the garage im sorry 😭#thats where rick mostly is when hes not out in other dimensions tho ig#also even tho my fics r all rick centric i cant not have my boy morty in them#i just love him too much#also obligatory birdrick mention in the start bcs theyve been on my mind#also in regards to is anyone in this house not disordered let my drop my smith sanchez family disorder hcs >:)#okayyy#so starting off strong with beth: an alcoholic like her father probably anxiety stemming from her abandonment issues and possibly depressio#next up my boy morty: anxiety also and most likely ptsd from all the shit hes experienced ik a lot of ppl hc him as autistic but i dont#possibly adhd dyslexia or dyscalculia tho or all of the above idk#oookay next up jerry: i really spend incredibly little time thinking about jerry so idk im open to hearing hcs abt him tho#wait back to beth: maybe also ocd or smth like that#okay now summer: my girl has a lot of substance abuse issues as we see and fomo but idk if anything else maybe social anxiety or smth#aaand its rick time: alcohol and drug abuse definitely ptsd for sure depression and autism possibly adhd or bpd or both#in this fic he has an ed also so that#paranoia too#and thats it i think#also going back to the topic ofautism tho#i just cannot see it with morty at all like he shows no symptoms?? i dont see them at least idk i could be wrong#i honestly see it more with beth or summer maybe#but idk#also i almost never put the accents when i write in spanish lol but i did so#vey professional of me ik#gotta let rick say cabron properly#alex says shit#rick and morty#rick sanchez#morty smith#summer smith#rick and morty fanfiction
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made the mistake of starting a fun little fanfic with a funny little premise that I swiftly put too much thought and world-building into and the ending has spiraled out of my control to the point that I had to sit down and do MORE world-building and planning to figure out how I'm going to tie up the massive plot threads I suddenly found myself holding when all I wanted to do was make my blorbos kiss
if I had a nickel for every time I've done this, I foresee several nickels in my future someone please help me why do I keep doing this to myself
#I'm talking about First Kontact#for the record#but this also applies to Knight and Crest#anyway updates have stalled out due to depression and aforementioned figuring out how I'm going to end this thing#guys#guys it's so far off#I have so far left to go#why did I do this to myself#I just wanted Tim and Kon to kiss#I had such pure intentions#I mean they HAVE kissed#but now I have galaxy-spanning politics and invasions to deal with#the good news is I think(?) I have it sorted how I want to go about it#prepare for EVEN MORE CAMEOS#sort of#they're important to the plot at this point but I'm gonna try not to focus on them TOO much#except I'm probably going to end up having to change things AGAIN after I write in the general direction I want#and learn things along the way#like learning that I was actually writing TimKon+Bart instead of just TimKon#which was admittedly a nice surprise#anyway#I promise I'm working on things#I'm just also being smothered by blankets in a bed of my own making#send help#writing#fanfiction
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i started exercising every day this week and in theory i should be feeling great about it but i forgot my body is shitty so now i'm tired every day. lol.
#i don't even do that much#i've chronometrized it and it's 9 minute#a 9 minute work out kills me apparently#and i don't even feel it in the moment#but every day i wake up more tired#both physically and mentally#on the bright side. this finally made me get a doctor's appointment to ask her to get me stronger melatonin pills#and maybe vitamins or some shit like that idk#i should probably go to the psychiatrist they should know what to do#but my last appointment there was so scary idk if i have it in me#also i know what they're gonna tell me. that it's abstenia primaveral#that's what they always say#if i go to the doctor's during spring they say it's abstemia. if i go during the winter it's seasonal depression. if i go during the summer#it's the heat. and i've never been in the autumn i think?
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Jack's first interaction with Gabriel was actually a full-on FUCK YOU FOR NOT BEING STRONG
and I just think it's neat and unexpected.
#jack and gabriel#jack making gabe feel like actual dirt lol#very much the vibes of fuck you cas and also FUCK YOU TOO GABRIEL YOU HAVE DISAPPOINTED ME BEYOND DISAPPOINTMENT#and in the bg mary dean an maggie just look depressed... which probably makes jack even madder/more frustrated
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I've been thinking and thinking. Call me a researcher or just a stranger. And something's been gnawing on my mind.
I didn't know Herobrines could reproduce let alone be female. There's an overabundance in males and females are a rarity from my observation. That is such an odd thing. Not to mention that Herobrines don't really- reproduce. Of course with exceptions, but the cases I know do it rather traditionally.
Your mother- (likely a brine all the same - as you describe yourself one too) Your mother produced children by spreading spores of some kind. Some parts of herself I guess. A power to mend into the elements and create another living being in such a way is baffling.
To get to the point and my actual question.
I've been pondering- spreading Herobrine offspring on such a wide scale (as you mentioned you had plenty of siblings) and seemingly not weakening herself if she could do that en mass. Maybe it's less of making more Brines from herself but something more akin to Brine-Spawns. (like vampire-spawns- a weaker kind of vampire sprung from a true one)
With that odd thought- you are the child of a Herobrine, but not a full brine yourself? Do you think that is kinda true?
Brines are such a rarity, your mother releasing tousands of offspring into the world and them being true Brines seems a little unreasonable.
Of course I may be mistaken as every elusive indivitual of a brine works different than the next. Maybe you and your "species" aren't actual brines by many a definition from each their own flaws.
Ah..... I've been talking a lot. What do you think about this whole- thing? Maybe you know more than I do. Probably.
#whoever you are this ask makes my day thanks for being a champ and i hope my answer does it justice!!#mcss#mcaskblog#herobrine#steven#sigma#lore#somewhat ooc?#SORRY FOR NERDING OUT THIS POST PROBABLY MAKES LITTLE SENSE BUT I FEEL SO STRONGLY ABOUT THIS THING#basically I have crazy imagination and i thought of all this lore that i didnt use because it's a little too... nonsensical#also the scope got way too big#and im not that invested to the story to dedicate my time and make a shonen comic outta it#plus Mother is a triggering character and i dont want this blog to get too depressing#so theres a lot of lore setups but no payoffs IM SO SORRY#but i think blog's already p lore biology heavy as it is so this is all yalls gonna get#before it gets even more confusing#Steven is an alien's kid!! congrats!! :D
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#aight y’all this’ll probably be my last eit meme#I think I’ve gotten it out of my system LOL#also my copy of virche evermore just came in the mail so 👀#… maybe I’ll make more memes with that if I make it through its depressing shit 😂#even if tempest#i will tag everyone because I need the validation#anastasia lynzel#tyril i lister#crius castlerock#lucien neuschburn#zenn sorfield#Maya Kirkland#ish even if tempest#rune even if tempest#evelina lynzel#Conrad Neuschburn#norna even if tempest#voltage#my post
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