#and also thankfully I haven’t been that low again since

[isak-dot-gov]

I'm gon' make you feel it

A/n: Uh hey. This is the first time I'm posting on here so I hope you like it. Kinda nervous btw. Also not proofread.

Word count: 2226

Summary: Months after you and Rhea break up, your best friends decide to take you out for a night in the city after not seeing you for a while. while there, you run into Rhea and the rest of the Judgement Day.

Warnings: Suggestive(nothing actually done tho)

My masterlist :)

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“Y/n, come on. We haven’t gone out in so long,” I heard Jasmine say.

“She’s right, y/n/n, you’ve been MIA for so long now. Please come out with us,” Eve says.

Jasmine and Eve have been my best friends since the three of us were in the first grade. We were placed at the same table in the classroom’s seating chart on the first day and we’ve been friends ever since. They have been with me through all my highs, lows, and everything in between. From celebrating birthdays and acing tests to comforting each other through heartbreaks and family troubles, our bond has only grown stronger. We've shared countless sleepovers, road trips, and late-night talks that have made us inseparable.

Tonight they were trying to get me to join them on one of our ‘late night adventures’. Basically what would happen is that we would get ready to go out and hit the city with zero plans or expectations on what we would be doing or what the outcome of the night would be. Sometimes it would be going from one club to the other and sleeping over at one of our houses. Other times it would end with us getting matching tattoos. The most recent one of these nights was about six months ago, a month after I broke up with Rhea. We got tipsy, went to a trampoline park and I ended up getting a brand new set of nipple piercings. To say these nights were some of the most fun I’ve ever had would definitely be an understatement.

“Girls, I don’t think I’m up to it tonight. I’ve been so busy with work lately,” I said with a tired sigh. Ever since Rhea and I broke up, I’ve thrown myself into my work as a way of avoiding the feelings I not only had for our situation but for her as well. Rhea and I broke up seven months ago after a huge argument. She felt that I shouldn’t be having so many female friends and that I could potentially be cheating on her with one of them, which was completely untrue. The reason I had so many female friends was because I was in an all-girls school for my whole primary and highschool, because of this women have always taken up the majority of my social life. Unfortunately for me, Rhea had always been the jealous type and no amount of reassurance that I gave her ever seemed to calm the green monster that tended to take over whenever I hung out with people she didn’t like. Getting to the point where I was willing to let her go was hard, but I was able to do it after Jasmine and Eve showed me exactly how unhealthy we were together.

I was a wreck for a few weeks after the breakup. Rhea would constantly call, so much so that I had to turn my phone off and only have it on during the hours that she spent working because I knew she tended to stay far away from her phone during those hours. I never wanted to leave the house and I barely got any sleep in. Thankfully, my best friends got sick of it quite quickly and made me start coming out of my shell again.

“Girl, that’s exactly why we should be going out tonight,” Eve says.

“Let loose a little. Give us 30 minutes of your time. We promise if you really feel uncomfortable after that time we’ll go to my place and watch a movie or something,” Jasmine says.

“Promise?” 

“Promise,” my best friends say in unison. 

“Ok ok, I’ll do it,” I say with a smile.

“Yes!”

“Fuck yeah!”

___________________

Two hours later and I’m sitting on a bar stool with my friends on either side of me and my third drink of the night in my hand. We reminisce on our primary and highschool years when four people enter the bar and completely shift the atmosphere in the room. I notice the bartender slightly shift her posture and briefly check herself in the reflective wall that stood behind her, facing those sitting in the bar. After she does so I hear a familiar voice next to me say and my high spirit for the night is immediately crushed.

“Uh can I get two whiskeys on the rocks, a gin and tonic, and a martini?” Damian, Rhea’s friend and fellow Judgement Day member, says next to me. I freeze and shut my eyes tightly, while doing so, I hear Jasmine and Eve fall silent and keep their eyes on me. Once I open my eyes, I notice their eyes on me as they carry sympathy for my current state.

“Oh hey, y/n. I haven’t seen you since…” he trails off and I can hear the cautious tone in his voice as he stops himself from saying anything that would make me uncomfortable. I always preferred Damian over the rest of Rhea’s friends, he always felt the need to make sure I was ok and in moments like these, I really appreciated him for it.

“Hey, Dami. How have you been? What brings you out here?” I saw with a strained smile. I have no idea why I feel this way or why I’m acting this way towards him. He never did anything to me, in fact, all he’s ever done was look out for me.

“I’ve been doing alright. Judgement Day’s going to Wrestlemania, so we decided to go out for drinks as a way of celebrating,” he says with a soft smile. Soon after, the bartender brings the drinks he ordered for him and his friends with a flirty smile and a wink. Uh, ok I guess.

“Anyways, I’ll hopefully see you around. I’ll tell the rest you say hi,” he says.

“Oh you don’t need to…” I start but he walks away before I get to the end of my sentence.

“Well that went better than I thought it would,” Jasmine says obliviously. Eve and I shoot her side-eyes as she gives the two of us a genuine smile, the Essence blush she’s wearing showing on her cheeks a little more due to the lighting in the bar.

“Do you want to leave, y/n. We don’t mind if you do,” Eve says compassionately.

“No no. We were having fun. I don’t want to leave yet,” I say and genuinely mean. I haven’t felt this free in so long and I would be damned if I let Rhea’s presence in this bar ruin that freedom for me.

My friends both give me light nods and we continue with our conversation. As the night continues, one of our favourite songs from our highschool years, ‘No Hands’ by Waka Flocka Flame, starts playing. The three of us immediately get hyped and start making our way to the dance floor to dance. The start of that song marks a streak of throwback songs from the DJ and we continue dancing for a while. As we do so I feel multiple pairs of eyes on me, when I look up I notice Rhea and the rest of her friends watching me. I make eye contact with each of them one by one before my eyes focus on the girl whose whole being makes my heart dizzy. She has an attentive look with a hint of longing in her eyes as she undresses me with them. With the new found confidence in my system brought by the many drinks I've had tonight, I find it in me to wink and decide to give her a show.

‘Feel It’ by Jacquees starts blaring through the speakers and my friends and I huddle up onto each other by our fronts and backs. I’m in front with Jasmine right behind me, her left hand on my left hip and her right hand on Eve’s right hip and Eve’s hands on both of Jasmine’s hips. We start swaying together to the beat of the song and sing along. At the position I’m standing at, I have a clear view of Rhea’s booth on the upper level of the bar. She’s sitting forward with her elbows on her knees and a drink in her hand as she watches me intensely. The chorus of the song starts and I start swaying my hips in circles as Jasmine and Eve take it as a sign to follow my lead. The three of us move in sync as the song continues. I get a little too into the song as a few minutes later I feel Jasmine’s hand remove itself from my hips and two, much larger, hands replace hers on either side of my hands.

“You two wouldn’t mind if I borrowed your friend for the night, would you?” 

My girls take a moment to look at me for reassurance in the response they’re going to give and I nod lightly as a sign of telling them I’ll be ok with her.

“Oh sure, Rhea. Take her home in the morning and don’t do any weird shit,” Jasmine says as she turns her attention to Eve.

“Call us if she starts acting up,” Eve says, sending a glare with her blue eyes to Rhea. I nod and feel Rhea pull me by my waist to the exit of the bar. We walk to her car slowly and in silence as the heels I chose to wear tonight start proving to be harder to walk in. Rhea quickly got impatient with my instability and swiftly lifted me up bridal style before making the rest of the walk to her car. She opens the door to her passenger seat and softly places me in the seat before closing the door and climbing in at the driver’s side.

“You’ve never done that before,” I say as she pulls out of her parking spot and makes her way to her house.

She looks at me briefly with confusion and says, “What do you mean, y/n?”

“You’ve never opened the car door for me. That’s a first.”

“Huh. I guess it is,” she says.

As I look around in her car I notice a bright pink hair tie on her wrist. Without thinking I point at it and say, “Where’d you get that? I like it. Might just get one.”

“Sweetness, this is yours. You left it at mine after you know what happened,” she says.

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Oh,” a moment of silence passes before she says, “How have you been, sweetness. We haven’t spoken in a while.”

Fuck. There’s that Australian accent that I’ve never had the self-control to resist.

“Uh, um, I’ve been good. I mean, as good as a person can be after a break up. You know, I don’t think you should be calling me that,” I say.

“Calling you what, sweetness?” she asks.

“Sweetness. It does things to me.”

She chuckles lightly before she says, “It does things to you? Whatever could you be talking about, my love?”

I tilt my head back into the headrest of the car as I exhale deeply. “Don’t play dumb with me, Rhea. We both know you’re way smarter than that. Don’t act like you have no idea all the things you do to my body by simply being this close to me. This isn’t a good idea and  we know it isn’t.”

“But I’ve missed you,” was her only response.

“I know, Rhea. And I’ve missed you too. You know that,” I say.

As she parks in her driveway she turns to me and asks, “Then why did you leave me?”

I turn towards her and respond, “We weren’t good for each other. You know that. I know that. We were only pulling each other down by being together.”

She gives me a tight lipped smile before saying, “What do I need to do? I can be better, I promise I can. I know I wasn’t a good girlfriend in the past. I was a dick. We both know that, and even when you tried to make me feel secure in our relationship I still pushed you away and blamed you for all my insecurities. I just need the chance to prove that to you. I don’t think I can hand any more time away from you, baby. Take me back. Please?”

This is a side of Rhea I’ve never seen before, and I chose to proceed cautiously because of that. She has always had the ability to use her words to get what she wants from people. However, something in the way she was looking at me made me feel like she was being sincere and my heart couldn’t help but fall for her all over again.

“Fuck I missed you,” I say as I capture her lips with mine. The kiss started out softly but turned hard and passionate really quickly. Rhea held onto me extremely tightly as if she was afraid I’d vanish at any moment. Her hands travelled to my waist and squeezed tightly, earning a breathy whimper from my lips.

“Rhea,” I said in a moan as her lips found their way on my neck.

“Mhm, baby? Tell me what you need,” she said.

“Please take me your house and fuck me.”

“That I can definitely do for you, sweetness.”

[platinumrosetail]

Ahhh! Sorry just realized I needed a prompt! I’m the one who asked for jealous Seth and Anubis. Prompt: insert is in a close relationship with character and they begin to be distracted by some other character who wants their attention or they were just helping them. Sorry again! Have a good day or night!

You’re fine! Thank you for adding the prompt too 😁 also thank you for requesting, I haven’t been getting asks lately and you’re the only one that recently ask me to a story so thank you. I didn’t know if you wanted a yandere again or not so I just went with yandere since you asked for yandere last time, hope that’s ok 😅

Also you didn’t put a gender on the reader so I went with gender neutral, hope you’re ok with that as well.

Warning: noob author, gn!reader, yandere characters, and others.

Characters: Seth, Anubis.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Seth:

You were a low ranked god that had peeked the interest of the god of war; also known as Seth.

You honestly didn’t know how but you did, and soon enough after a year and a half you two got in a relationship.

Seth loved you though still kept you at arms distance as the trauma he gained from his family made him cautious to any relationship but you gained his trust to let him tell you what happened in the past.

It was at the trials between seth and his nephew; Horus did you meet another lower ranked god, you two shared many things in common and started spending time with each other; you thought that you two had a sibling relationship, how wrong you were.

Seth, of course, noticed how you seem to have spend more time with that lower god and was seeing red (haha pun intended).

It wasn’t until a short break from the trails did Seth make his move, he went to you to see how you see the lower god that you had gotten to know and thankfully for him you thought of the god as a sibling, after some many cuddles and confirmations he went straight to the god and made the lower ranked god go missing.

No one gets between his S/O and him, and he’ll lock you up if it means he’ll never get betrayed again and lose you and the happiness you bring to him.

Anubis:

You were a demigod child as well like anubis, your parents were allies to Nephthys and therefore you got to meet the demigod who was related to the god of war and sand, and goddess of harmony and peace.

You and him were childhood friends and therefore it was predictable to see that you two would become lovers in later years.

Your parents had died killed by someone who wanted you as their child’s friend and lover but your parents said no which lead to you moving in with Anubis and his parents after your parents passing.

Anubis had gotten more overprotective over you which was understandable after what happened so you didn’t see any need to talk to him about it.

The parent had brought their child to the temple which was dedicated to Seth and Nephthys, you later learned that the child of the murder of your parents didn’t want to go down that route and apologized for their parent’s wrongdoings.

You started to spend time with them as the trails began after the whole chaos began, you thought that you would burden Anubis so you dialed back and started gaining a platonic relationship with the other demigod that was around your and Anubis’s age.

He didn’t like that so he killed both the parents and the child both as revenge for trying to take away his S/O and killing their parents and to make sure that you’re never taken away from him anymore.

(A/n: I hope you liked it!!)

[sincerely-sofie]

In light of people being way too kind to me about the excerpts from that Hollow Knight fic I posted a bit ago: I have some more snippets of various old Hollow Knight fics that I want to get out into the world because they've been buzzing around in my head like angry yellow jackets at a summertime picnic 🥲

Hollow Knight Fanfic Speed-Dating, GO!!!!!

(From a fic shipping Hollow and the Collector:)

The Malfunctioning Kingsmold made it a point to try and drag the Hollow Knight into imperfection along with him (often quite literally, as he would hook a finger into the anchors on its pauldrons to lead it on his misadventures). Not that it would ever stoop to such things— the preservation of Hallownest rested in its hands, and it could not safely bolster up the kingdom into eternity if it dirtied its fingers with indulgence— but the Malfunctioning Kingsmold was persistently getting on its nerves and looking to make it crack. A mountain could not bow to the wind, but that did not make its howling any less insufferable. 

(From a fic where Ghost checks in on the Hunter a while after the Embrace the Void ending:)

The “cave” lying in the center of the chamber stirred. Six eyes opened in its yawning mouth, and the mound rose, revealing the head of the bug she’d come to visit. The Hunter growled, “You carry the scent of the hunt, little wanderer. I take it prey has been numerous.”

Hornet would have just complained that she stunk. Thankfully, the Hunter didn’t turn up his nose over such things. Ghost shook her head— she hadn’t slain many bugs since the Infection was uprooted, and that vengefly wasn’t even all that close when she slashed it. She didn’t know what he was talking about. 

The Hunter dug most of this cavern himself, yet his head still brushed the ceiling when he rose to his full height. “The pestilence has gone to dust. My own quarry has adapted accordingly, and I find that I might hunt them anew. You’ve not taken the chance to pursue the beasts of this kingdom?”

She shook her head, stopped, then shrugged. 

“Curious.” He reached out a large hand that she clambered onto. He held her level with his eyes. “I thought you one to continue the hunt even after finishing your journal.”

Ah, right, that. She pulled the journal out from her cloak and fanned through its pages, stopping on a leaf that she’d inserted herself. She set it on his palm. She squatted and pointed to the page, waiting as he looked it over. 

He blinked. “You hunted gods.” There was a long pause, then a rumbling laugh filled the cavern. “And to think I once called you squib! What an insult to those haughty fools, being brought low by one so tiny. But a hunter’s strength lies in deception, doesn’t it, in lulling prey into a sense of safety— of course you, so small and so plain, would bring gods to their knees.”

Behind her mask, she snickered, though it came out sounding more like a rattling cough than anything else. She didn’t mind being thought of as small when it made her seem all the mightier.

(From a fic where Hornet encounters Quirrel outside of Dirtmouth:)

Hornet took a chance and leapt down one branch further. The bug was close enough now that she could tell it was a pillbug— he wore a bandana around his head and carried a remarkably crafted nail. She hissed, “I’ll ask again. What do you want, traveler? Why are you in these woods?”

“I’m here to visit someone in Dirtmouth and to do good where I can. Nothing sinister, I assure you.”

She gripped her needle beneath her cloak. “I am a stewardess of Dirtmouth. Tell me who you’re looking for and why. Answer well and I’ll help you find who you’re looking for.”

“Ah, well… I’m afraid I don’t know their name. They didn’t talk much about themselves— or anything at all, really. They’ve helped me more times than I can count, but I haven’t heard from them since… since they saved my life. They’re rather small, about yea high? To be frank, they also carry a very unfortunate scent about them.”

Hornet blinked. 

“They knew how to wield a nail with frightening skill, if that helps.”

Hornet pinched her brow. 

“Do you know who they might be, or—?”

“Gods. You’re talking about Ghost. Follow me.”

(From the same fic as above, when Quirrel and Ghost reunite and catch up on what happened while they were separated:)

Quirrel’s eyes widened. “He had a beard and an odd horn, yes. Do you know Lemm?”

She nodded and held out her handful of Geo.

“You did business with him!” He laughed. “Then you must have been the customer who he loved to complain so much about.”

Ghost nodded and scuffed her foot on the sidewalk, proudly showing off the muddy print she left.

“He doesn’t like dirt, does he? He also said that you came into his shop one day smelling like you spent a week in the sewers. Did you really take a trip through them?”

She opened her map again and pointed to where she’d jumped down an open grate, then fallen into the Royal Waterways.

Quirrel tilted his head, face screwed up with disgust. “Well, at least it was sewers that once belonged to the nobility.”

She shrugged. That sort of thing didn’t mean much to her. Dung was dung, though Ogrim might argue otherwise.

(From a fic where Hollow finds the Pale King hiding in the Dream Realm version of the White Palace, and he hugs her when he realizes how badly he messed up with the Vessels:)

He could hear the quiet whines coming from their throat, now— tiny, pitiful, weepy sounds that were strangled by a spell to prevent any word from escaping a vessel's mouth. He'd woven that spell. He'd done that to them. And here the child was, now taller than him almost twice over, coming to him for forgiveness, when he could feel the openings in the shell of their back that he had carved into them.

He felt sick. 

The Hollow Knight's side was sunken in. 

He shifted his hand along their shoulder, confused, and eventually pulled back to better examine them. The Hollow Knight did not move as he took hold of their cloak, nor did they so much as twitch as he moved it to the side. They only hunched inward, ashamed, when he cursed under his breath at the sight their gnarled shoulder that ended in bandages instead of an arm, how pockmarked and sunken-in all of their shell was— not an inch of it spared from the mercilessly generous scarring. Even Herrah, the warrior queen famed for her countless scars, would blanch at the severity of it all. 

He held them closer and fought back tears of his own.

(Later passage from the same fic as the above--- TPK has left the Dream Realm and is given temporary housing in Ghost's home while Mato is visiting.)

"My apologies, I forgot my manners." The Nailmaster smiled brightly. "My name is Mato. I studied under the Great Nailsage, and I am this little warrior's father. By choice, not by blood, though it makes little difference." He reached up to pat the arm of the little vessel sat astride his shoulders. 

The vessel squeezed their arms tighter around his horns, pouting.

Ah. The Pale King took a sip of his tea. It was poorly steeped and the flavor was far too strong as a result, but the opportunity to ground himself in the face of that revelation was welcome. 

(This child had grown up with darkness above them and dried out husks underfoot. They had managed to escape the Abyss. They had found someone to provide the care and concern for them that no one else had. He had no right to feel as pained by the fact as he did.)

(That fact did nothing to change the guilt spearing him.)

"How noble, to take in a wandering grub," he finally said. 

(More dialogue happens--- Ghost storms off to her bedroom in the middle of Mato and TPK's conversation, and Hollow follows shortly after to comfort her.)

"Is…" The Pale King struggled to summon both the words and the resolve to ask his question. "Is this a frequent occurrence?" He tapped his claws against the mug. "That the H— that Holly is required to reassure Ghost?"

"There are good days and bad. Their brother is also typically here to bolster the child before she begins struggling too much, so it doesn't often get to the point where Holly is needed." There was a long moment of dead air. He sighed. "I shouldn't be bothering you with all this. It's her business, not mine." He smiled again, resuming his jovial demeanor. "I interrupted you before. How are you related to Ghost and her siblings?"

"I am their—" He paused. "I am their father. Theirs by birth, at least."

Mato blinked several times, kind expression flickering between many emotions before settling on a carefully neutral look. "Ah. Ghost has…" He glanced away, brow furrowed. "… mentioned you on a few occasions, I believe."

[scarletofhufflepuff]

Ranking of “The Crow” Movies

I want to preface by saying I’m not a film critic. I just wanted to make a post about The Crow, after watching the original 1994 film and most of its sequels, for fun. Especially since I’ve never seen the original film till just 3 or 4 days ago after hearing about the 2024 “remake” coming out sometime in the last week.

Also I’ve noticed I have the ability to find enjoyment in movies others yell hatred towards. Not all the time, there are movies I don’t like. Still something I’ve noticed.

I will be ranking them from what I most enjoyed watching to what I least didn’t.

The Crow(1994)

The Crow: Salvation(2000)

The Crow: City of Angels(1996)

The Crow: Wicked Prayer(2005)

I will admit, I haven’t been able to watch Wicked Prayer yet. But based on what I saw in the trailer… I doubt of its chances of moving up in my personal rankings of these movies.

————

Putting a divider here so you don’t have to be unnecessarily be subjected to my ramblings. If you’re curious on my thoughts on City of Angels and Salvation, feel free to continue. Just know that, again, I’m not a film critic. I just ramble about the things I liked vs what I didn’t. :P

Now I know the sequels are hated on, I get it. Especially with the unnecessary nudity. I can ignore the nudity since they thankfully don’t focus on them too much… but honestly I felt the camera were on those girls a few seconds longer than needed. In any case, ignoring those facts, I found some merit of enjoyment in the stories of the sequels(except for Wicked Prayer due to previously stated reasons).

For Salvation, the story itself wasn’t that bad to me. Guy feels pain for not only the death of his gf but also the anguish of being accused of the murder when he himself is innocent. The way Alex acts as the Crow is fun to watch as well. A little awkward at times but not bad over all. Some of the scenes in the movie were a bit over the top, felt like the way were added just to make the movie seem cool. Like the fact there was a helicopter THAT low in that one chase scene?? Like is that even possible irl?? It caught me off guard honestly. Also I’m not sure how to feel about the film makers having it so kill the crow(the bird not Alex) not being a permanent damage to Alex’s abilities. I get they were trying to do something different but it just… well as I said, I’m not sure how I feel about it. It seems off overall.

For City of Angels, most of my issues were honestly with the nudity. Can be ignored but still sticks out to me on the screen when I’m just trying to focus on what’s going on in the story. Another issue I have is the sudden romance between Ash and Sarah. Like is it just me or do they seem to fall for each other just for the sake of doing so? Like come on Sarah, just because you dreamt of Ash’s death only to see him alive doesn’t mean you can kiss him. The dude is trying to avenge his murdered son, leave the man be! At least tell him about what you know of crows bringing the dead back to the land of the living to write the wrongs of their death. That way he has an understanding of what’s happened to him.

As for the original 1994 film, I honestly don’t have much to say. It was a little weird for me in the beginning but I honestly loved the film over all. The way Eric laughs off getting shot in the hand by Funboy much to Funboy’s confusion is such a delight to watch.

All my issues aside, I’m actually willing to watch these sequels again if I ever feel in the mood. Salvation more so than City of Angels, probably.

————

If you actually read all of this, what the heck are you doing?? No but seriously I’m curious why anyone would listen to my ramblings Lol. Also if you’re reading this and haven’t watched the original 1994 film; GO DO THAT! It’s awesome.

[kaunis-sielu]

Frozen: Grown Up Time

You didn’t realize he’d get quite so hyped. But after the last final game of the regular season Thor was buzzing.

“Let’s go out!” He tells you pulling you to him. “We need to celebrate!” You can’t help but laugh at his enthusiasm and he grins down at you.

“Okay, since you scored the winning goal let’s go out.”

“You, are my favorite ever.” He says and you can’t help but laugh again,

“We can’t go anywhere too fancy otherwise I’m going to have to go change. Honestly, I probably should just go change.” You tell him glancing down at your work clothes of black jeans and an Asgard jacket.

“I think you look great.” He flirts and you roll your eyes at him.

“Can you please give me a half hour to change and get ready?”

“I suppose.” Thor teases and you grin up at him. Being with him is so easy.

“How fancy should I get?”

“Something to go dancing in.”

“Sounds good.” You give him a quick kiss on the cheek before disappearing down the hallway. It doesn’t seem that people have caught onto the fact that you and Thor are dating, which is good because you don’t think Sif even knows and with how much time you spend with her daughter she probably should. You haven’t quite figured out how to bring that topic up yet, understandably Thor doesn’t like to talk about Sif. His mom usually does the hand off with Sif, it’s been Thor a couple times and he’s always agitated when he’s done.

You put on a black sparkly dress that falls to your mid thigh and has a v-neck and short sleeves. It’s one of Cat’s dresses that she gave you when you were living with her and Steve. It clings to you like a sparkly second skin on the inside and has a little give on the outside and makes you feel hot as hell. You grab your black clutch and throw chapstick, your ID, card and phone inside then tug on a pair of strappy heels. You touch up your make up and pull a brush through your hair again. There’s a knock on your door and you hurry to it, Thor is back in his suit and looking like a snack. When he sees you he lets out a low whistle and you laugh.

“Right back at you.” You tell him locking your door, he holds out a hand for you and you take it.

“My mom is going to keep Astrid, I’m hoping you’ll come stay the night?”

“Oh, should I get some stuff together?”

“Well, you have a toothbrush at my place, I can give you a shirt to sleep in, you still have those leggings at my place.” When you look at him in confusion he reminds you, “when Astrid spilled the spaghetti on you.”

“Oh right. So really I don’t need anything.” You tell him and he hums softly pushing the elevator button. Thor presses a soft kiss to the back of your hand as you wait for the elevator. When it opens you see Yelena and Loki, one on either side looking awkward.

"You guys good?” You ask in amusement and Yelena nods at you.

“Will you be home tonight?” She asks and you shake your head,

“No.” You tell her and she nods, before glancing over at Loki then disappearing down the hall. “You should accidentally make too much of that turkey biscuit stew and bring some over.” You tell Loki and he smirks down at you,

“I think you’re right Moxie.” He says as he turns the opposite way down the hall and you and Thor get onto the elevator.

When you get to the club he takes you in a side door. It’s a bar that some of the former players own called the Blue Line. A lot of the Asgard players like to come here, which also brings a lot of women who want to date hockey players. Thankfully, Thor has access to the VIP area so you walk in and head right there where Volstagg is clearly already several drinks deep.

“Here he is! The game winner!” He yells and there are cheers. Thor laughs and pulls you along with him as his teammates swarm him. You let go of his hand and wave him off before joining Darcy on the couch.

“Wanna drink?” She asks and you shake your head, you have a feeling Thor might get drunk so you need to make sure one of you can drive home.

“This is his night.” You tell her looking over at Thor. His blue eyed gaze meets yours and you grin at him.

Several hours later you’re watching the chaos that’s the Asgard hockey team. Fandral is making out with some girl in a corner, Darcy is flirting heavily with Ian and Hogan is swaying just standing. Thor has been tamer than you’d thought he’d be, he joins you on the couch and slides you flush against him. His hand is warm against the outside of your thigh and you lean into him.

“Are you having fun Kattunge?”

“I am. The music here is fantastic.”

“We built the playlist. The team did.”

“Excuse me?” A female voice says and when you look up you’re surprised to see a woman standing there staring down at you. “Thor? You’re my absolute favorite hockey player. I was wondering if I could buy you a drink? Maybe dance a little?”

“I’m good.” Why she would think he’s interested in untangling from you is beyond you but she’s gotta shoot her shot you suppose.

“Come on. Just one drink.”

“No.” He says before kissing you softly, “Kattunge? You ready to go?”

“Yea, we can go.” You agree, you don’t love the fact that he’s used you to dismiss her but you also don’t like that she’s clearly trying to get him to cheat on you. He stands, your hand in his and without a second glance at the woman he stalks away from her.

“The absolute nerve.” He growls and to your surprise he’s actually furious. “The way she treated you.” He leads you to one of the older guys, one that owns the club,

“Erikssen. I want the woman in the red dress, blonde hair banned from the VIP section.” He yells over the music and you gape up at him.

“What happened?”

“She disrespected Moxie and I won’t have that.” Hogunn looks over, fury on his face.

“Moxie you okay?” He asks and you nod.

“Consider it done.” Erikssen says with a short nod at you. Thor gives your hand a squeeze then brings you out back to where his car is.

“Do you want me to drive?” You ask softly, you’re completely sober so it’s probably safer.

“I only had two drinks.”

“But I had none.” You argue and he nods in concession.

When you get back to his house you pull into the garage and when you get into the house you pull his mouth to yours.

“Thank you for having my back.” You murmur, “it wasn’t necessary but is appreciated.”

“I told you, you’re mine to protect.” He says curling one of his hands around the back of your neck, “Even if that’s just from puck bunnies.” You drag his mouth back down to yours and he scoops you up off your feet then carries you to his room.

In the morning you wake to silence. You’ve spent the night a couple of times when Astrid is home and she’s not exactly quiet in the morning. Thor is asleep next to you but when you go to slip out of bed his hand shoots out for yours and he catches your arm.

“Where goin’?” He murmurs his eyes still closed.

“Bathroom. I thought we could do a morning bath? Then some brunch.”

“Yea, nice.” He agrees in his sleepy way. For a man who has a young child Thor is really not a morning person. You laugh and he kisses your hand softly before he lets you go. You head for the bathroom and after using it get the tub started. You should’ve made him do this last night to ease his muscles but you’d been too busy appreciating them to bother. You put in a little epsom salt and some lavender oil then climb into the bath. You pull your hair up into a messy bun and wait for him to join you.

Sure enough a couple minutes later Thor comes stumbling into the bathroom.

“Are you okay?”

“Just a little tight Kattunge.”

“I knew we should’ve taken care of your muscles last night.” You tell him as he gestures you forward in the tub, “which muscles?”

“Calves.” He says climbing into the tub behind you and you gently work the muscles in his calves. Thor groans lowly and it makes your stomach flip. God he’s just so hot.

“Come ‘ere.” He wraps an arm around your waist and slides you back into him. Thor kisses you soundly, you’re so lost in him that you don’t hear the door open. You do hear the,

“Oops.” The female voice says and you press yourself into Thor who laughs.

“Hello mother.” Oh god. You’re going to absolutely die of embarrassment.

“Sorry, I just wanted to let you know Astrid and I are here and going to make some breakfast. I didn’t realize you had company.” She says like you’re not ass naked in her son’s lap. “Good morning Moxie.”

“Daddy!” Oh fuck.

“Oh god.” You groan into Thor’s shoulder and he laughs, a hand sliding along your spine.

“It smells good in here.” She says from far too close.

“I’m sure if you ask after breakfast Moxie will draw you up a nice bath too. She’s sleeping now.” He lies, mostly you think to save you from having to move.

“Okay!”

“Let’s go Kanin.” Frigga says before closing the door.

“You’re clear Kattunge.” Thor’s voice is full of amusement and you want to melt into the water and stay here forever.

“That’s it. I have to go into witness protection.” You grumble into his shoulder and Thor laughs.

🏒🏒🏒

This is a series of one shots. If you have any suggestions or ideas for Thor and Moxie please let me know.

Tag list:

@foxyjwls007 @andahugaroundtheneck @also-fangirlinsweden @pagina16ps @princesssterek @valsworldofcreativity @dumblani @inkedaztec @loving-life-my-way @animegirlgeeky @shinycupcakebaker @eralen @sophham @gh0stgurl @wonderlandfandomkingdom @killcomet @abschaffer2 @sass-masterkittenmama

[silksongeveryday]

I just want to quickly say please don't push yourself to try to fulfill every request !! we all really appreciate what you do and the fact that you're even taking requests to begin with is really cool of u !!! and if ur ever feeling overwhelmed don't hesitate to close requests, those ppl who are pressuring you to get to their request can just deal with it :T and thank you again for providing us coping fans with art to fuel us every day, ur awesome

First off, I want to thank you for being super understanding and appreciative of what I do! The fact that so many of you here have been supporting this blog so much has been a big highlight in my life recently. :)

That being said, I’d like to explain a few things now that we’re on the topic if you don’t mind!

About requests:

There are a few reasons that I usually keep my requests open that I think I would like to explain. One of these reasons is that sometimes I can’t always come up with very good ideas on my own all the time. Taking requests from everyone here in this community can help me draw ideas I would have never thought of and for that I’m grateful. Another is that I personally feel like taking requests builds a sense of community and gives me a chance to connect with all of you. I’ll be honest, I’ve been in quite a few fandoms and some of them were quite toxic. So to see that a majority of my experience here has been very nice has been refreshing in a way.

Now this doesn’t necessarily mean that I should feel obligated to do requests all the time. It’s just that I find them more fun than my ideas most of the time so that’s why there’s more of those than stuff that I’ve come up with.

The main rule that I’ve set for myself is that if I don’t like the request, I simply delete it. If someone repeatedly pushes for their request to be done I just simply ignore it or block that person if it’s too much. This is so I can keep this a comfortable experience for both myself and everyone else who follows this blog. Thankfully this doesn’t happen very often. This actually only happens with like a couple people which is why I haven’t really said anything much about it until now. It hasn’t really bothered me to be honest.

I also do close requests from time to time just to slow the flow down. This is so it doesn’t get too overwhelming since I do have a lot of requests that come in. As of posting this, there are like, 30+ requests that I haven’t done yet? But it’s not a big deal to me personally. I have a whole day to complete a 5 minute doodle so I’m sure I can take that tiny bit of time out of the day to do something so simple. That does mean waiting for your request might take longer, but I’ve already kinda talked about that haha.

Being overwhelmed:

Speaking of being overwhelmed,

Also I should clarify that I’m not really that overwhelmed by requests as you might think. I’ve had my fair share of overwhelming moments with similar scenarios like this and this is nothing compared to those. I knew what I was potentially getting into when starting this account so I knew what to prepare for ahead of time if it ever got to this point. I guess bad past experiences really can benefit you sometimes.

Now that doesn’t mean that I’m not overwhelmed at times! There will be a few moments that running this blog feels a little bit overwhelming but those moments are very brief. And in most cases those moments are usually worrying if people will like my doodle for that day or not. Or if I forgot to post that day lol. But generally speaking it’s nothing too worrying. I consider myself fairly good at keeping a level-headed attitude about this.

I’ve also had a few people both here on tumblr and other platforms say that they think I’m gonna burn out from doing this. Whether they mean this because Silksong hasn’t had any news for so long or because they’ve had no experience with a daily account, I’d like to assure you that burnout has a very low chance of happening for me. I’m intentionally putting semi-low effort into my doodles to avoid putting too much energy to this. Otherwise I’m absolutely sure I would have burned out weeks ago. If anything, I’m fully prepared to be posting to this blog for as long as a year assuming nothing happens along the way to prevent that. (*cough* like Silksong *cough* *cough*) If everything stays as is, then I’ll be here for a while.

-

Overall I’d just like to say that I’m under no pressure at all and all of this is just in good fun.

I think I mostly said everything I wanted to, but I hope I made myself clear about all this. If I missed anything I’ll probably talk about it on my main blog, @miizori.

And anon, you are a great person for being so considerate about this! You guys are just as awesome! My biggest takeaway from doing this is that I’ve had a good experience overall and it’s been really fun to interact with the community. I’ve also been enjoying watching my gradual improvement drawing my favorite characters too. If anything, it’s refreshing.

Most all of thanks for reading this! I look forward to posting more doodles to help everyone (myself included) with coping lol

- miizo :)

[ffxivtribehydrae]

#3 Restless

For FFxIvWrite2023

Characters: Auro'usk, Dusk

”You’re not supposed to walk around… P-please sit down, Dusk.”

I’d been given that look a lot the past two suns; sorrowfully bowed lips about to tremble and eyes accusing me of betrayal. He was instructed to be careful while his leg healed up and I’m the only one here to remind him of it.

“If you sit back I can bring you what you want… okay?”

“I don’t want anything, I just want to -do- something! This is so -boring-, Auro’usk!”

He’s always been energetic… Makes me wonder how he got a pet fine with sleeping entire days- Panda haven’t even left that corner of the room since Dusk’s injury. Not knowing what I could possibly do for him to entertain, I just sighed while urging him back to the alcove bed. Thankfully Dusk only whined about it on the way there. At least dad’s good at keeping him in place, making him do as supposed to, and just by sitting and talking..! It’s never been my strong side… Maybe I should try, at the very least.

“Um… Dusk?” But what? The only I could think to talk about would be all that happened while I was gone. It sounded like something had happened at the company after all but… Ah, it would be better than nothing, if he wants to tell me I get time to think about how else to entertain him. “How… Why d-did you get hurt..? I mean what… mission were you on, really..?” My voice failed me for a moment, what if I wasn’t meant to know? No, if that was the case I wouldn’t have heard about it so casually mentioned to begin with.

“Oh, right, I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone but… now it’s over, so it should be fine.”

His eyes drifted away from mine while he spoke, I guess he was more in his own mind than speaking to me. At least it seemed to catch his attention, so hopefully he’d stay put for a while.

“There was a kidnapping, of Eir and Sayuri! The company didn’t help but… Bexy lead a rescue mission that I asked to help in… ”

Bexy..? I thought they didn’t get along? Has things changed so suddenly while I was gone?

“They were held by a company of slavers, a big group! Hundreds! We rescued them the other day but… I don’t know how they are doing, they were… in bad shape when they escaped…”

Eir and Sayuri… I remember them of course, especially the Viera that would come and cook in the kitchen, and the Miqo’te who is… a little unpredictable. They have been kept in bad places while I was gone..? I had no idea… I was just having… a great time away from everything… Could I have done anything to help..? I’m not much of a fighter; I would just have fared of worse than Dusk… But there must have been something else I… No, it’s over now I can’t dwell on what was… I hope they are well now, or recovering… Maybe I should find out where they are, maybe I can cook something to… to apologize for not helping. No, no, I should just wish them a welcome back, or is that weird? Coming back from a vacation and meeting them so casually after what they possibly have been through..?

“Auro’usk? Auro’usk!”

Wait, he finished telling the story? I hadn’t realized my head sunk so low until he had to raise my head to be able to look at Dusk again, he looked confused, that inquisitive tilt of his head said I had lost myself in my own thoughts rather than listen to what he had to say. I didn’t even think of anything to help distract him with, like I intended to do…

“What are you thinking about?”

“Oh, um… I just got concerned about all that happened…”

No point in lying. I feel bad hearing all of this and… I also feel like I have missed other important things, being gone…

“They are away from the bad place now, everything will be fine!”

I admit, the way he can smile so bright after being beaten in battle so terribly… How he can be so positive even if he doesn’t know their current state…  It is reassuring, contagious even. Without really realizing it I found a smile mirrored on my lips.

“Haa…” The heavy exhale he let out reminded me of my forgotten task… “What are you going to do now, Auro’usk? Are you going to go see them? Can I come with you?”

If I had no plan to keep him occupied he’d just be back up the moment I turn my back. I suppose… if I help him move around it should be alright to go somewhere else, I understand our room get a bit boring after a while. But I don’t think I can bring him to see them, I don’t even know where they are..!

“I need to go cook… You can come with me and help with that?”

I felt a weight lift with how he nodded repeatedly, maybe anything at all really is better than just sitting here. And I don’t think he ever cooked with me… can Dusk even cook..? I suppose today is a good day as any to learn. If anything it will keep me from worrying about the events that have taken place…

[kisskissbanggang]

Jumpspace Renegade - ep. 11 ✨🚀

[5.1k words, <20 min. read - Stray Kids Multi Fic, Scifi!au, Choose Your Own Adventure - SFW/Smut in Other Chapters - Mentions of Changlix, Navigating Feelings, Unexpectedly Not as Exciting as Some Characters are Hoping, Minho is Getting Restless, Minho is Also Indeed Still Acting Weird, Rescue Missions, Prison Breaks, Hints of Motives, Crumbs of Backstory, Dumb and Unusual Punishment, Loyalty Crisis, We’re Still on the Ocean Planet, Mentions of Blood, Scifi Guns, Always Check the Tags]

[Episodes on Fridays 7pm pst, Polling closes Saturdays 7pm pst]

[Series Masterlist | Come Say Hi!]

“Do you think you’re in a place to be making demands?” Chan was pissed. The bounty was asking for a goddamn cabin?

Minho cocked his head, almost taunting the captain. “Do you want your appraiser back? Ask Nova. She’ll tell you I'm the best bet you have.”

Both men looked at you then. You took a brief, deep breath.

“Minho should be compensated. You’re having him help bring back Hyunjin, and who knows what kind of mess he’s in. Making the bounty do work for nothing is just slave labor,” you determined. Chan reeled. Minho grinned. 

“But-!” you added. 

A mutual pause struck them both. 

“Obviously,” you continued, “there should be conditions.”

“Oh really,” Chan and Minho said in unison. The captain was smug. The bounty was the one reeling now.

“Yes!” you confirmed. “Minho should be locked in and out at all times.”

He grumbled under his breath at this, gaze set hard on Chan even though you were the one coming up with this garbage. “Fine,” he sighed.

“What else?” Chan asked.

“What else?!” Minho repeated, whining.

“And–” you floundered. “And, and… and! To continue paying for this upgrade, you’re on-call for medic duty and other auxiliary crew assignments, like this.”

Chan clapped his hands together. “Yes, even better.”

Minho scoffed hard. “You’re a fucking piece of work, Captain.”

“And you’re a piece of shit!” Chan retorted. “Do you want the cabin or not?! This was your brilliant idea.”

“Yeah,” Minho huffed, “and my next brilliant idea is to put my foot up your ass.”

Chan groaned and pointed accusingly. “Holy shit you’re so annoying, I should’ve fucking shot you when you asked me to! I have half a mind to–”

“Oh my god,” you interrupted, “would both of you shut UP?”

Thankfully, this seemed to do the trick. You turned to Minho. “You want to make it to Daedalus in one piece, don’t you?”

Minho’s glare could kill. Chan paused again.

“... Interesting. You want to go to Daedalus, Lee?”

You winced in realization before turning back to face the captain.

“Uh, obviously,” you floundered. “Minho’s fiance is there, laying low until he gets back.”

Chan raised an extremely dubious eyebrow. “Fiance,” he repeated, unbelieving.

Jeongin chuckled, still lurking in the doorway of the medical office. “Fiance?” he also parroted. “It’s not Momo, is it?”

“Momo would never go back to Daedalus,” Chan shook his head. His gaze fell on you now, wondering where the hell you would get an idea as stupid as covering for Minho.

“Fine,” Minho relented. “I’ll do it.”

This seemed to pacify the captain. “Glad that’s settled,” he casually nodded as he turned to leave the med bay. “Our ground clearance expires at nightfall, so you have the whole afternoon if you need. Now get the hell out of here.”

“Well, hold on–” Minho added.

Chan paused.

“You’re asking me to go out there with no cover, and you haven’t cashed your bounty yet. Can I at least get my obfuscator back?”

The captain thought about this and shrugged. “Smartest thing you’ve said since you’ve been on this ship. Knock yourself out.” He strolled over to a locker built into the wall at the top of the spiral staircase and beeped it open. Inside was a satchel, which Chan pawed around in. He retrieved a small pendant and tossed it back to Minho.

“What’re the chances of getting my bag back before Daedalus?”

“Doubtful,” Chan shook his head. “What are my chances of you thanking me?”

“Doubtful,” Minho mocked. He pocketed the pendant and grabbed your hand before pulling you down the stairs with him.

“What about you thanking me?” you teased him.

Minho stopped dead before wheeling on you, pulling you onto the same step he stood on and herding you against the wall of the stairwell. You felt your eyes widen when he leaned in. “I’m sure my new fiance will be thrilled to hear you got me better accommodations,” he finally retorted, voice low and ominous, but still somehow reminding you of your rendezvous the other morning. 

You got over yourself. Based on everything you'd seen so far, Minho was all bark and no bite. You tiptoed up to kiss his cheek, predictably breaking his concentration. Minho wrinkled his nose and swatted you off before turning to reach the galley floor.

“I said no more of that,” he badgered back over his shoulder. “Just, ugh, don’t overdo the cover story next time.”

“Yes sir,” you complied, only slightly rolling your eyes. He did have a point.

Minho’s expression over his shoulder turned into a smirk. “Sir? I like that.”

He paused by the table in the galley, with Seungmin still peacefully passed out in the booth. 

“What’s the story here?” Minho asked, jabbing a thumb in his direction.

“Not sure,” you answered. “Changbin and Jeongin said there’d been a misunderstanding when he went to drop off the charts for his clients.”

Minho drew out a pen light, likely swiped from a drawer in the med office, and stooped down to get a better look at the navigator.

“I’d love to know what kind of misunderstanding it was,” he casually remarked. He gently ran a fingertip through a dark blue smudge on Seungmin’s glasses and rubbed it between his fingers before smelling it and ultimately tasting it, much to your horror. He reeled for a moment, face scrunched in regret. “Holy shit,” he laughed. “This is Azure. You know what that is?” 

You blankly shook your head, feeling a bit dumb and naive once again. 

“Makes sense,” Minho assured you. “It’s made of ink from a specific type of sea cucumber in the subarctic seas here, so it doesn’t go off-planet that often.”

“What is it?” you asked curiously. 

“At its most innocent? Party drug. College kids and marines on surface leave love the stuff, but I never understood the appeal,” the bounty explained. “At its worst? Well… you know.” 

“Oof,” you winced. “So with Seungmin… You don’t think–”

“Nothing nefarious,” Minho quickly reassured you. “Again, the Phaborians are largely against violence. If the guys say there was a misunderstanding, I'm guessing the navvy’s clients originally intended to tranq’ a possible threat to play it safe.”

“So he’s fine?” you implored. You tried not to sound worried. 

“Yeah, hun,” Minho nodded. “He’ll wake up with a pounder of a headache and a wicked case of minor amnesia, but he’ll be fine.”

Finally pleased with his diagnosis, Minho followed you out to the workshop. You tried to ignore a dot of Felix's blood on the floor at the top of the ramp. Instead, you let yourself be entertained by how Minho apparently knew how to access the weapons rack behind its hidden door. You were interested to see what he’d grab, and were somehow not surprised to see it was only a single blaster before he closed the rack again. He clipped on the pendant that Chan had returned to him while you ventured down the ramp together, tucking the thing into the collar of his shirt. 

“So,” you started, but stopped short. It was hard not to feel like you were being a pain despite your curiosity. You pointed at the pendant. “What exactly does that do?”

“You've never seen an obfuscator?” Minho chuckled. “That’s surprising. I bought mine in T’kaarm.”

“Don’t make me feel dumb,” you whined. More and more, you were being proven to not even be as street smart as you originally thought. Reaching the end of the ramp, you led him around to where you left the four-wheeler. 

“Calm down,” laughed Minho. “You know how most facial scanners are affected by interference or distortion maybe once every ten times?”

“Sure,” you nodded. Obviously.

He pointed at the pendant. “This thing spews out a cloud of interference, it’s like a portable data jammer–”

“That’s what that does?” came a voice unexpectedly. You both jumped and searched, quickly finding the cabin boy gingerly closing the sub-hatch door to the cargo hold. 

“Jeongin?!” you asked, still a bit startled. “What’re you doing out here?”

“Chan’s crazy if he thinks Seungmin needs watching,” he heatedly explained. “Seungmin needs sleep and Jisung still isn't back! Can you give me a ride to the market?”

You and Minho traded glances. Jeongin had a perfectly good reason to go from the sound of it, but it was pretty clear he snuck out–

“You were dropping off the payload with the navigator?” Minho asked, interrupting your deliberation. 

Jeongin nodded in response, confused. What did that have to do with anything?

Nevertheless, this was apparently the right answer. Minho waved him over with a nod while shooing you away from the seat or the four-wheeler. 

“What,” you scoffed, “you don’t trust me?”

Minho tickled your waist, the same move as earlier, to get you out of the way before he sat down at the handlebars. “There’s plenty of room for you behind me if you want. You can cuddle up real cozy.”

You swiftly punched Minho in the shoulder before sitting down on the mudguard. For wanting to curtail any fooling around, your alliance with Minho apparently did not forbid occasional flirting. 

Jeongin’s eyes awkwardly darted between you two before hopping on as well, just before Minho set off to take you back to the market. Maybe it was the new surroundings, maybe it was the events of the day, but it felt like you'd been on Phaborus for weeks. The sunlight on the water was gorgeous as it just started to set. Really, you were beginning to regret you didn't have any time to actually put your feet in the water. 

Rude as ever, Minho interrupted your sightseeing. He shot a look back at Jeongin. 

“Alright. You gotta know what happened to knock out the navvy.”

“What,” Jeongin ogled with a laugh, “you want the gossip or something?! I have no clue, dude. Changbin and I were waiting out in the lobby. Seungmin was taking his meeting solo, and suddenly we hear yelling and this bang like a blaster or something.”

“Oh shit,” Minho remarked. “You think Seungmin pulled a gun?”

“Seungmin?!” Jeongin wheezed. “He'd never. No, I assume it was a capsule gun or something, something to aim the Azure. Changbin and I barged in when we heard it.”

“And?” you asked, more intrigued now. 

Jeongin shrugged. “They were checking his charts and pockets and apologized. And then we left.”

“Oh my god,” Minho groaned. “That’s it?! You’re the most boring crew I've ever met.”

The bounty paused when he pulled you up to the market, at a similar spot to where Felix had parked that morning. He pointed past Jeongin's direction. 

“Go on,” he directed. “Get. Don't come back unless you have Jisung or a juicier story.”

Jeongin’s eyes nearly rolled out of his head. Still, he waved goodbye before venturing off into the market. Minho got your attention again. This time, he was pointing at an open air restaurant at the edge of the marketplace. 

“I went on my first date there,” he serenely explained. He didn't give you a chance to even digest that properly before he revved the engine and took off again, but it stuck with you. You tried imagining Minho as a teenager, head in the clouds instead of invested in civil uprising, maybe even bashful and shy on a date. 

You were preoccupied, feeling a little mentally exhausted when Minho pulled up to the temple. The feelings of ease and curiosity that shaded your previous trip here were replaced with wariness and paranoia. This had gone so wrong earlier that suddenly, there was no doubt in your mind that it wouldn’t get any better or easier. Minho seemed to sense this, judging by the way that he hesitated  when he got off the four-wheeler. He was, as always, surprisingly gentle with you. A mindful finger nudged under your chin brought your momentarily unfocused stare to his eyes. The setting sun reflected beautifully off the circuitry in Minho’s otherwise rich, dark gaze.

“You don’t have to do this, you know.”

You nodded in acknowledgement but pushed Minho’s hand away nonetheless. “We need to get Hyunjin back,” you reasoned.

“It’s not like you know him or anything,” Minho reminded you.

“Sure,” you nodded, “but we’re a crew. Tell me the plan.”

Minho’s normally hard expression softened a little and he let you hop off the four-wheeler. He checked the charge on his blaster. “My plan, honestly, is that we storm the place and start firing if we don’t get any answers–”

“Oh no, I don’t think so!” came a familiar voice from the temple.

The old priest was standing by the door, arms folded across her chest.

Minho was a bit caught off-guard by this. So were you, to be honest, but you weren’t the one preparing for a firefight. He gave you a dubious look before he walked over. Soon enough, Minho and the priest were having a heated discussion, both squaring off with their stances, pointing any which way, pointing at you, and nearly shouting at each other – all in Phaborian. You’d thought it earlier, but this practically confirmed Minho being modest about his abilities when you first mentioned stopping at the Hatchery. But soon, with the bickering and discussing and arguing seemingly past, the tall, elderly priest placed her hand on Minho’s head, seemingly reciting a small rite or brief blessing before sternly dismissing him, back in your direction. The whole exchange had taken minutes.

“So about your firefight…” you smirked.

“It sounded so much more grave up until now!” Minho reeled. “They did the respectful thing and dumped him. Your appraiser is in jail at the port authority.”

“Is that far?” you worried.

Minho scoffed. “Not at all. It’s on the other side of the market.”

This time, hopping on the four-wheeler, you surprised Minho by sliding onto the seat behind him, calling his earlier bluff. When he questioned it, you teased that it was for better balance. He didn’t argue when you wrapped your arms around his middle for more security. Cutting through the market this time meant Minho was patiently weaving through swaths of passerby. You nudged your chin closer to Minho’s ear, asking him if Phaborus still felt the same as when he was younger.

“As similar as it can when you’re older,” he shrugged. “Everything feels smaller, more quaint, I guess. I missed it, though. Feels like going back to a simpler time.”

“Simpler all around?” you asked. “Or simpler for you?”

“Simple for me,” Minho admitted. “I don’t think I’ve let myself have a simple notion in years.”

A blaring horn behind you alerted Minho to a coming vehicle, moving much faster than the crowd. He navigated to the side of the road as much as possible, a tall task for a crowded street, but managed to get out of the way just in time for a speedbike to come blazing through.

With Jeongin riding it.

He noticed you both, too, judging by the way he braked suddenly. Now that the bike wasn’t in motion, you recognized it as the one Jisung had been using. 

“Where are you going?” you called over.

“I’m trying to follow some leads!” Jeongin answered while Minho pulled up alongside him, yelling over the ambient cacophony of the market along with both your idling engines.

“No luck?” Minho asked him.

“Folks have seen him,” answered Jeongin. “I didn’t bring a headset with me so I’m working with a language barrier. But he’s been around, and I don’t think he’s made any positive impressions by the sound of it.”

“Finally,” Minho sighed. “Something exciting, hopefully. Come with us to the port authority. We can get your appraiser and if Jisung has been getting into trouble, they might know about it.”

“Is Hyunjin in jail?” Jeongin grinned. He laughed out loud when you nodded. “I gotta see this,” he explained. “Hyunjin is either the king of the drunk tank or dying of germ exposure.”

You traded glances with Minho again before gesturing for Jeongin to follow along. It turned out you weren’t much further to the port authority, and it was only a couple minutes more before you were able to park outside. Unlike the gorgeously amber-hued clay buildings of the Hatchery with their storm windows and alternating roofs of tin or tile, the Federation installations were all a gross combination of concrete and steel. The port authority jail wasn’t an exception, it being a sterile looking building that was probably enjoying a break from the typically unrelenting rain.

The clerk was a bored, likely conscripted Phaborian, looking through paperwork when the three of you came in. There was no greeting, no acknowledgement.

“Officer, we’re looking for a crew member,” Minho confidently began.

The young Phaborian, masculine in stature, looked up at him. “And you’re…?”

“First Mate Lee, tradeship Ambler.”

Jeongin raised an amused eyebrow at you from where you both flanked Minho. The clerk tapped into a computer.

“And you’re missing…?”

“Hwang? Hyunjin? We think we lost him during surface leave at the start of the day.”

“Found him,” the clerk boredly remarked. “Can’t release him yet, sir.”

“What?!” Minho sputtered. He leaned forward, striking up another hushed argument in Phaborian with the clerk this time. The language was difficult to parse out tone from, but whatever Minho was saying to the clerk, it involved some elaborate hand gesturing and emphatic repetition. At one point, you could’ve sworn Minho was miming a stabbing motion. The clerk finally reacted somewhat interestingly, eyes widening before he ultimately nodded. He tapped into the computer some more and pulled out some paperwork to sign before scurrying to a back office.

Minho sighed and turned around, leaning back on the desk. “This is garbage,” he whined. “I’m paying for room and board on my way to a prison sentence with this?”

“What’d you tell him?” you asked. 

You were met with a shrug from Minho. “It was an easy story. They think Hyunjin did it, and they just want him to say sorry. So I said he did it. And that he was deeply ashamed about stealing it, but he was in a sordid affair with a rich woman who betrayed him, and maybe it made him a little crazy, so he just decided to return it.”

Jeongin was failing to hold in a snicker. “He’s going to love this.”

“Why lie?” you balked.

“Too much back and forth,” Minho tiredly explained.

The clerk came back with a huge officer who ushered the three of you back into a row of holding cells. Hyunjin, unlike Jeongin’s prediction, was not king of the drunk tank or apparently dying from germ exposure. Instead, the appraiser was napping, sitting up against the wall in the first cell, sporting a bandage on his jaw that could possibly have been hiding a bruise or other small injury. A much heftier dressing adorned his hand where he’d been shot back at the temple. The officer banged on the bars, roughly rousing Hyunjin from his rest, but he quickly woke up upon seeing you all. He hopped to his feet and grabbed his bag. The officer opened the door for him and stepped aside, letting him through with ease. Hyunjin was very confused why the officer gave him a pitying look as he passed.

“Is that all you’ll be needing?” the officer asked.

“We should be fine,” you replied, feeling more like you were checking out at a hotel. You regarded your compatriots. “That’s all we needed, right?”

Everyone shrugged. You were ready to leave, until a voice rang out down the aisle.

“Nova? Guys?!”

You and the rest of your party processed this for a moment.

Jisung.

You would’ve thought you’d realized first if Jeongin didn’t run right away.

Sure enough, there was Jisung in the last holding cell. His enhanced eye had apparently been punched at some point. He clung onto the bars when you all arrived.

“When did you get here?!” Hyunjin ogled.

“When the fuck did you get here?” Jisung asked in return.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” the officer ushered you all away from the cell. “Not him.”

“Why?” asked Jeongin.

“Still doing paperwork. But he should be fine tomorrow.”

Tomorrow? Not good, you realized. Chan had told you the ground clearance would expire at nightfall.

Minho’s lips brushed your ear. “Pretend to be Jisung’s wife,” he instructed in a whisper.

You shot him an entirely involuntary but very necessary glare in refusal. “What? Why?!” you demanded. 

The bounty rolled his eyes. “Fine. I’ll do it.”

In a stunning theatrical display, Minho reached for the bars and immediately began arguing with the officer now, really playing up something supposedly personal and emotional before the officer gave up with a sigh. He begrudgingly opened Jisung’s cell, too, and Minho dramatically collapsed inside, cradling Jisung’s confused face and kissing him full on the lips. Jisung exclaimed, muffled by Minho’s mouth before falling backwards. Minho hauled him up to his feet and profusely thanked the officer over and over and over again while pushing all of you back out to the lobby.

Minho continued to graciously thank the officer while he tried to pass the clerk’s desk with no trouble, too, but that was too good of a hope to come true. The front doors barred shut with a heavy clank. You all panicked, looking for what reason there could be to still be here… until the clerk held out a hand.

“1,200 Credits,” he boredly requested, holding out a number pad. A deathly silence fell over the lobby.

“... For what?” you finally asked.

“His–” he pointed at Hyunjin, “damage to the temple.”

“And Jisung?” Minho asked, amused.

The clerk pulled out a report. “Han, Jisung,” he read, “responsible for damage to five market stalls, one restaurant, and three civilian vehicles.”

Jeongin and Hyunjin were practically rolling on the floor with this revelation. And Minho was nearly about to launch into yet another cloying argument–

–when the lanky cabin boy simply walked up, wiping away a hysterical tear, and punched in his credit number.

The four of you: Minho, Jisung, Hyunjin, and you, all traded bewildered looks at the exchange. Afterwards, the clerk still had his hand outstretched when you finally realized. You pulled the pendant out of its pocket in your waist pack and handed it to him. He briefly marveled at it before delicately placing it into a locked drawer.

With the clerk satisfied, he waved over Hyunjin and Jisung, who had their faces scanned before the doors unlocked.

You all felt a bit dazed when you left the small jail. There were a few more questions humming around your head. What exactly did Minho tell the cop to get Jisung out of holding early? What the hell did Jisung get into that got him that heavy of a price tag to get out? Because a majority of that couldn’t have been Hyunjin. And where the fuck did Jeongin get all that money?!

“What the hell was the tortured lovers routine for?” Jeongin snorted.

Minho’s eyes rolled back in his skull. “Holy shit,” he impatiently blustered. “There’s a theme here, can’t you tell?! The Phaborians value love and relationships above anything, that’s what makes them so peaceful but also fucking terrifying if you mess with them–”

“But I didn’t get a smooch,” Hyunjin pouted. Jeongin howled another laugh beside him.

“Want one?” Minho shot back. “Come here, I’ll even – what do you think you’re doing?”

Jisung was about to get on the speedbike when Minho stopped him.

“Sorry, dear,” Jisung sardonically answered.

“Get your ass over here,” Minho demanded. “Someone has to have a juicy fucking story for me or I will lose it.”

“Yeah, I have some questions, too,” Hyunjin ribbed, sitting himself down in his same spot from the morning.

“What about us?!” you asked, gesturing to Jeongin. Jisung reluctantly sat himself across from Hyunjin.

“I dunno. Meet us there!” Minho gleefully yelled, revving his engine and speeding off.

You turned to see Jeongin patting the seat of the speedbike. “Room for two,” he grinned.

Fair enough, you reasoned. You’d hardly interacted with Jeongin at all since you’d arrived. He straddled the bike before you and waited until you settled in before he also gunned it out onto the main road. Unlike riding with Minho earlier, this proximity felt a bit more sudden. The sun on the water was gorgeous as it was setting. But now you were burning with curiosity.

“So…” you began, holding Jeongin around his middle as platonically as you could. “You’re, uhm, fucking loaded with cash?”

You could feel Jeongin laugh, the way his broad shoulders shook. “I guess so?”

“And despite this,” you continued, “you’re cool being a cabin boy?”

“As opposed to what?” Jeongin asked over his shoulder. Just like Felix, any of Jeongin’s tattoos were decorative. A small one of a creeping vine was tucked behind his ear. So far, he was the only member of the crew that you’d seen without a military brand. “I wasn’t anything before Chan, so I kind of just took what I could. If that’s as a cabin boy, then so be it.”

“Right,” you nodded blankly, “but what was before? What did you leave behind?”

“You got a hell of a lot of questions, Miss Nova,” Jeongin smirked. “But whoever, whatever I left behind was nothing of note. It wasn’t any way to live, that’s for sure.”

This struck you harder than you expected. You definitely understood leaving behind nothing of note. It just surprised you that someone with as much cash as Jeongin could feel that way. 

But it was valid.

No way to live was no way to live, no matter how you sliced it.

You lamented not being able to feel the water or the sand one more time when you met up with Minho at the workshop. Well, you were supposed to meet up with them. Weren’t you? You and Jeongin searched around the ramp and the ship, even peeking into the galley, but no sign of them, until you sighted them a few minutes later pulling into the port.

Minho looked pissed. Hyunjin looked more disgusted, but both men were unmistakably put off.

Jisung was babbling something when Minho drove up the ramp. Jeongin began retracting the bay door, equally confused as you were. Minho flapped a hand at Jisung to shut him up.

“I’m ashamed to call myself your fake husband,” Minho pointed accusingly at him. “I need to hear that you apologized tomorrow. Get the hell out of my face.”

You tried to reach for Jisung, who leaned out of the way, mumbling about needing something from his cabin. Minho turned his threatening point to you now.

“Babe, if you know what’s good for you, you’ll have no mercy on that idiot.”

All this noise apparently summoned Chan, who stalked out of the cabin by your room and donned a welding mask. He pointed his laser torch at Jeongin.

“You!” he bellowed. “What the hell are you thinking? You had me fucking worried sick. I gave you a direct order! I had no clue where you were!”

Jeongin stood quiet, like he was withstanding a scolding from a parent.

Chan pointed with his torch beyond the workshop. “You go clean the head and report back to me. You’ll love the stupid chores I’ve been saving up.”

You watched Jeongin nod affirmatively before leaving for midship, not hanging his head in shame or anything, but his eyes trained on the floor nonetheless. When you brought your focus back to the current commotion, Hyunjin was adding to Chan’s stress levels, apparently, by explaining Jisung’s absence.

“ARRESTED?” the captain shouted. He took off the welding mask to run his fingers through his hair in distress. “Why the fuck was he arrested?!”

“He can tell you all about it,” Hyunjin grumbled. “I’m sweaty, I’m gross, I have a headache – I’m taking a shower.”

“I just directed Jeongin to clean the head,” Chan argued, exasperated.

“Then he’ll either wait or close his eyes,” groaned Hyunjin, brushing past Chan on his way into the ship.

This left you and Minho. Chan took a deep, heaving, steadying breath before grandly gesturing towards the cabin he emerged from.

“I’ve prepared Sir’s stateroom during his expedition.”

“What’s with the torch?” Minho grinned, peeking into the room. 

Chan proudly gestured with his welding mask. “I sealed your stupid hatches shut, you son of a bitch.”

“Great,” deadpanned Minho. “What if there's an emergency?”

“That doesn’t sound like my problem right now,” Chan shrugged. “Now, thank you for your service, but get the hell in there.”

“Yes sir,” Minho mocked. Unexpectedly, though, he leaned over and kissed your cheek. Except, of course, his gesture catching your attention meant it was pretty much a peck on the lips. He ducked into his new room before either you or Chan had a chance to react. 

You tried to process this for a second before you caught Chan leering at you. Now you got it. You were a dumb little bartering chip between the two men. The key card Chan forgot to get back from you was burning a hole in your pocket for some reason. 

“You’re sure there's nothing going on with you and the bounty?” the captain asked while he walked back out to the workshop proper. The grease and sweat smeared on him was almost as endearing as it was gross. 

“Yes, Captain,” you teased. “I'm more worried about Felix, though.”

“Felix is doing fine,” Chan assured you. “He’s resting… in Changbin’s room.”

“Really,” you gawked. 

“Right?!” Chan laughed. “And Seungmin's resting in his room, too… If you’re wondering.”

“Why would I be wondering?” you deflected. 

Chan chuckled to himself, packing up his tools and setting the welding mask back in its compartment. “You’re cute, you know that? And you have time. There’s only one boost lane on Phaborus so we’re backed up until well into nightfall.”

“You don’t need me for anything?”

The captain looked puzzled. “No? There's such a thing as free time, love, go cherish it. Just don't leave the ship in case our time gets moved up.”

Chan left for the galley, leaving you alone in the workshop. A heavy ball of restlessness weighed you down. You wondered what should be next. If you couldn’t leave the ship, what could you do? The first thing that came to mind was Felix, checking on him and seeing how he was doing. However, there was also Jisung. Minho was fuming on your behalf. Or, you mused… you could check on Seungmin. You couldn’t deny you were worried about him, and Minho did manage to make you wonder just went so wrong in the first place.

[summerwritesfics]

🎇📖The Sky Is Falling On Me, Chapter 1 - Where The Veil Came Crumbling Down

Pairing: Hanzo Hasashi/Kuai Liang Length: 6577 Words Rating: Mature Warnings: Magic/Fantasy AU, Mages, Anxiety, Isolation, Codependency, Elemental Magic, Mentions of onesided Sektor/Kuai Liang, Panic Attacks, Threats of Violence, Referenced Kidnapping 10 Prompts Tropes: Magic AU

The Sky Is Falling On Me Masterlist - 10 Prompts Masterlist

Notes: It’s been a hot minute since I last posted, and I don’t even have one of those wild AF stories to put in these author’s notes. Sad times. I have some requests from a giveaway to work on, but I had this first chapter almost complete and I figured I’d bang it out before starting the requests and actually make a start on at least one of the many many fanfic challenges I’ve signed myself up for lol. Fic title is from “A Rose For Epona” by Eluveitie, and the chapter title is from “Inis Mona” also by Eluveitie (one of my favourite bands so y’know lmao, amazed I haven’t used their lyrics before tbh.)

Kuai did not like coming into town.

He didn’t particularly get along with many of the townsfolk, they found how quiet and awkward he was off-putting, apparently. He preferred to stay on the farm, tending to the animals and staying far away from other humans. Usually he let Bi-Han deal with people, the only ones Kuai had regular interactions with outside of his brother were Tomas, Cyrax and Sektor. Even they didn’t know the truth about him, believing Kuai was just extremely anxious as the result of his sheltered upbringing.

It’d been drilled into him at a young age that no one could ever know about his magic.

Kuai had trouble regulating himself, it was part of why he was still so isolated as an adult. One wrong move and it was all over for him. So when Bi-Han requested Kuai take some apples to Cyrax, he had immediately declined. But Bi-Han had been insistent, and now Kuai was walking into the centre of town with a backpack full of ripe apples.

He kept his head low, trying to avoid people as much as possible. Although thankfully, everyone seemed to be distracted by something other than the rare appearance of the towns recluse. He was curious, gaze following where others landed.

Sektor was walking down the street with a man Kuai didn’t recognise. Whoever he was, he was wearing a very fancy looking robe, so it was likely he was one of Sektor’s high class contacts. That didn’t explain why people were stopping to crowd around them. It wasn’t uncommon to have a visiting Lord or Lady, however it never usually caused a commotion, especially not one like this.

Still, whatever the reason, Kuai wanted to keep out of Sektor’s way. He unfortunately had no choice in most of his interactions with him, given Sektor’s family did technically own the land the town was on. Still there was something about the way Sektor looked at Kuai that made his skin crawl, like a wolf staring down a rabbit.

He turned away to make his way over to Cyrax’s little store, hoping to drop the apples off and get out of town as quickly as possible. When Cyrax spotted him, he immediately broke into a large grin, and Kuai couldn’t help but return it.

“Well, well, well, it’s rare to see you out and about,” Cyrax teased, only laughing when Kuai groaned. “I take it Bi-Han didn’t wish to grace me with his presence hm?”

“No, he was weirdly insistent on me giving you the apples,” Kuai replied, slipping the backpack off his shoulders and handing it to Cyrax.

“Probably because he owes me money.” Cyrax took the backpack off Kuai and placed it on his table, opening it up and taking a look at the goods.

“Again?” It wasn’t unusual for Bi-Han to owe various people money, but it seemed to be happening more often as of late. “Are we having money troubles? He doesn’t tell me anything about these sorts of things.”

Cyrax smiled at him, but it had such an air of sadness to it. He didn’t say anything, or explain his expression. He didn’t even answer Kuai’s question.

No one ever seemed to answer Kuai’s questions.

“Anyway, what’s going on today? Why is everyone so enchanted by that man with Sektor?” Maybe his queries on his brother’s finances wouldn’t be answered, but he might get one regarding the mysterious stranger visiting the town.

“From what I hear he’s an Archmage,” Cyrax explained and Kuai felt his heart stop at that. An Archmage? Here? What could an Archmage possibly want from this town? “Apparently Sektor’s family is trying to do a deal with him.”

Kuai felt himself relax a little at that. If he was here for a deal with Sektor it was unlikely he was here because of Kuai’s secret. His cover hadn’t been blown, and he was safe. Presumably. Kuai couldn’t let his guard down, he had to make sure to keep everything contained, now it was more important than ever.

“Speaking of,” Cyrax quietly muttered and Kuai looked over his shoulder just in time to see Sektor and the Archmage. Kuai felt himself shrink slightly. He’d wanted to avoid Sektor in the first place, but he would definitely preferred to to avoid the Archmage too.

“Cyrax, Kuai Liang,” Sektor greeted to each of them. Kuai instinctively put his hands behind his back, he often did that to hide when he lost control. “This is Archmage Hasashi, he will be in town for a couple of weeks, and I expect everyone to show him the heights of our hospitality.”

“Of course,” Cyrax replied cooly, before bowing to Archmage Hasashi. “It is a honour.”

Kuai kept his hands behind his back as he also bowed, quietly adding “welcome, Archmage Hasashi.”

When he straightened out, he realised Hasashi was staring at him. He had a single eyebrow raised, but the look in his eye was scarily intense. It felt like he was trying to look straight into Kuai’s soul. Kuai could feel his hands grow colder and he swallowed thickly. Need to keep control. Need to keep control.

“I-Is there something wrong, Archmage Hasashi?” Kuai asked, clenching his fists and trying to stop anything from accidentally erupting from them.

“Kuai Liang, was it?” Hasashi asked, his eyes sweeping Kuai up and down. Kuai swallowed, completely unable to decipher what Hasashi was thinking while looking at him. It was really putting him on edge.

“Yes, Sir,” Kuai replied, resisting the urge to look away from Hasashi’s gaze. Kuai bit his lip, it was like Hasashi was searching for an answer to a question that hadn’t been asked. Does he know? Kuai had never met an Archmage before, or even just another Mage, he wasn’t sure if they had ways of knowing those with magic in their veins.

“And you live in the town?” Hasashi’s brow knitted together as his eyes narrowed and his head tilted. Kuai could feel his hands growing colder. Need to keep control. Need to keep control.

“Yes. Uh, well the outskirts,” Kuai explained, flexing his fingers, desperate to warm his hands up. “My brother and I run the farm.”

“I see.” Hasashi seemed to stand a little straighter, and Kuai hadn’t realised he was leaning forward. “Interesting,” he muttered, so quiet Kuai was sure he hadn’t intended anyone to hear it. What does that mean? Interesting? Why does he think our farm is interesting?

“I- uh-“ One of his fingers began to ice over and he began flexing his fingers again to break it. No. No. I need to keep control. No one can know. That’s what Father always said. No one. “I’m- You-“

“Archmage Hasashi, Kuai Liang is an anxious person,” Cyrax suddenly cut in, walking around the table to where Kuai was. As he got close, he placed a hand on Kuai’s shoulder. Kuai kept moving his fingers, desperate to keep anymore ice from forming. “Your line of questioning is causing him distress.”

That comment seemed to take Hasashi aback, as his eyes widened and his mouth dropped. Beside him, Sektor looked like he was barely holding back his anger at Cyrax stepping in like that. Kuai actually could understand why. It was a statement, not an accusation, and one towards someone Sektor was hoping to do business with.

“My apologies.” Hasashi bowed to Kuai, an action that actually made Kuai pause a little. “It was not my intention to make you uncomfortable.”

No one had ever really apologised for making him uncomfortable before. Smoke and Cyrax both had an unspoken understanding for when Kuai was overwhelmed, resulting in them leaving him to his own devices until he’d calmed down. They never needed to apologise, because Kuai knew already they didn’t mean it. Hasashi however? Who hadn’t known and who Kuai didn’t know if that was his intention? That was new.

“I-I- Well- Um.” Kuai didn’t know what to say, glancing at Cyrax and hoping maybe he’d be able to translate his desperate stuttering.

“It’s okay, you weren’t to know,” Cyrax filled in, patting Kuai on the back a couple of times. Kuai felt the tension in his shoulders begin to relax. “Just, try to be a bit more gentle with him.”

“Right,” Hasashi agreed, slowly nodding his head, though still looking a little shocked. “Of course, again, my apologies.” He quickly turned to Sektor and added, “maybe it would be best we move on.”

“Maybe,” Sektor replied, as he gave both Kuai and Cyrax a scathing look. Kuai flinched despite himself. “Let us go to the next stall.”

Hasashi turned to follow Sektor, though not before giving Kuai one last lingering look. When his eyes were finally torn away, Kuai felt a shudder down his spine. There was something about him that had caught Hasashi’s attention, and Kuai really didn’t want to know what it was.

“That was weird,” Cyrax said under his breath and Kuai chuckled, relieved that the odd behaviour was apparent to someone else as well.

“It was weird, wasn’t it?” Kuai finally moved his hands from behind his back. Without Hasashi in his vicinity he felt a lot more at ease, and less likely to loose control of himself. “What do you think it was about?”

“No idea.” Cyrax shook his head, finally moving from Kuai to go back around to his stall. “Maybe it’s best you stay on the farm for a few days regardless. His behaviour was… Concerning.”

“Wish I could.” Kuai gave a half hearted smile. “If Bi-Han owes you money, it’s likely he owes others too. Meaning he’s going to send me as the buffer for the next few days.”

Cyrax grimaced and added, “good point.” His gaze went over to one of the other stalls, and when Kuai followed it he saw it was where Hasashi and Sektor now were. “Still, I’d try and stay away from him if I were you.” Kuai turned back to Cyrax, his face was tight as he continued to look on. “If I’m reading the way he was looking at you right, I think him and Sektor are going to find making a deal extremely hard.”

Kuai paused at that. He understood the implication, just wasn’t sure he agreed with it. Hasashi was definitely looking at him strangely, but it was nowhere near the same way Sektor looked at him. Sektor looked at him with hunger in his eyes, a possessive wanting, knowing that as long as Bi-Han lived, he’d never get to get what he longed for. Hasashi was looking at him more with curiosity and knowing, like he’d looked straight through Kuai and saw all his deepest and darkest secret’s he’d tried so hard to hide.

By the God’s, Kuai hoped he hadn’t.

“Anyway,” Cyrax continued, reaching to grab a small bag, “here’s the coin for the apples, tell Bi-Han he can deduct it from his debt.”

“Thank you.” Kuai smiled and accepted the bag, although internally he was struggling. This many apples would be about 200 coins, how much does Bi-Han owe if this is just a deduction? “I’ll make sure Bi-Han repays what he owes you.”

“You have my thanks for even trying.” Cyrax bowed to him. “Have a good day, Kuai Liang.”

“You too.”

And with that Kuai turned to leave, money in hand. He didn’t care to stick around longer, lest he run into Hasashi again. He weaved through the whispering crowds, although for once those hushed tones were not about him. As he approached the street he would need to go down to get back to the farm, he looked over his shoulder and surveyed the town square.

From the opposite end, he could see Hasashi staring straight at him.

He almost choked as he began to sprint away, feeling his fingertips begin to ice over. Whatever Hasashi thought he saw, there was no way in hell Kuai could let him get to the truth.

I need to keep control, no one can know, that’s what Father said.

That’s what Father said.

No one can ever know.

Sektor had been extremely adamant that this town had no Mages.

Hanzo was always interested in meeting with fellow Mages when he visited neighbouring towns. His status as an Archmage meant that many Lesser Mages saw him as guide, someone who’s wisdom would be of uttermost importance, and although it felt egotistical, Hanzo enjoyed being viewed that way. He liked the questions, the need for advice, being seen as a figure to be revered.

Thus he had been extremely disappointed when he had been informed that the small town of Lin Kuei had none.

Not as disappointed as he was when he realised he’d been lied to.

Lesser Mages were generally not as at one with the magic inside themselves and others. Two Mages could walk down the street without knowing the other was one of them. Archmages however, were specifically taught to be able to sense magic. It helped to identify Mages, and if the magic was particularly strong, find candidates to join the Archmages.

So the second he sensed magic, he knew that Sektor had lied to him.

It had been faint at first, making him believe it was a child. But as the feeling got stronger, he realised how wrong he was. The magic was fully formed, and not just that, it was strong. As it grew, he knew he had to find the source.

He did not realise just how strong the magic was until he was face to face with Kuai Liang.

The magic within Kuai Liang was easily equal to the majority of Archmages that Hanzo had spent his life around. In fact, if he were to be honest and not care for a bruised ego, he’d say Kuai was stronger than even him. But it was also wild, and completely untrained. That made Kuai extremely dangerous. Hanzo had barely even confronted Kuai, and he could feel that magic loosing control. It was ready to seep through the seams, and if Kuai didn’t have enough control, people could be hurt.

Which brought him to his most pressing question; why had he been lied to?

Given the deal the Zhou family was trying to strike with the Archmage of the Shirai Ryu, it would make sense to be completely truthful about any Mages living within the town. Unless, of course, they were not aware themselves. How Kuai would have been able to keep this secret for so long, Hanzo didn’t know. The mention of living on the outskirts might explain it if he didn’t come into the centre that often. And him having a brother? Was the brother also a Mage in hiding or was he just trying to hide Kuai?

He needed to do more investigation.

The day after their fateful meeting, Hanzo found the chance to start doing just that. The Zhou family had other things to attend to, so Hanzo could roam the town as he pleased. He tried to not ask anyone directly about Kuai, he knew that would seem suspect. Instead he asked about the town, and rumours or outliers that might potentially effect his deal with the Zhou’s.

It took some time, and a lot of listening to gossip he didn’t really care for, that someone finally gave him info he wanted.

“Well, there is Bi-Han and Kuai Liang,” a woman said, her brow furrowing as she looked around like she didn’t wish for anyone to overhear her.

“I believe I met Kuai Liang yesterday,” Hanzo replied, trying to not sound as eager for information on him as he was. “I do not know who Bi-Han is.”

“He’s Kuai Liang’s elder brother.” Ah, so Bi-Han was the brother’s name. Interesting. “They live on and run the farm on the outskirts of town and they’re…” The woman paused, mouth open as she took a deep breath. “They’re very strange.”

“I noticed Kuai Liang seemed extremely anxious.” And that was an understatement. He had looked terrified of Hanzo.

“To be honest, most of us didn’t even know Kuai Liang existed until he was an adult.” What? “It was only after the brother’s father died that we became aware of him. For some reason, his father almost completely isolated him. Bi-Han is a lot less strict, but he is still um… I guess controlling is the best way to put it. He rarely let’s Kuai leave the farm, and even when he does, it’s like there is some sort of invisible leash meaning he can’t stray for too long.”

That all seemed incredibly concerning. The only thing that sprung to Hanzo’s mind was that Kuai’s father did not know how to handle a Mage, so kept Kuai isolated to hide him away. His brother was just following suite. That felt off though, usually Mages with magic as strong as Kuai’s were born of Mage parents. If that were the case, his father would know to teach Kuai at least the basics of control. He couldn’t imagine any Mage to be so careless as to not do that, but he couldn’t rule it out just yet.

“Then there is Sektor’s, uh, affections for Kuai Liang,” the lady continued, her voice dropping like she was scared the man in question would come up behind her. “He thinks he has hidden his desires, but it’s clear to everyone that he… Well… Wants Kuai Liang.”

“As a spouse?” Hanzo wanted to make sure he was getting the information right, and the woman nodded. “If his family are so powerful, what is stopping him from taking what he desires?”

“Bi-Han.” This was stated with such certainty that it almost took Hanzo off guard. “That man would never allow anyone to take his brother like that, even if they technically own this town.” She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “To be honest, I think Sektor is just biding his time, hoping and waiting for Bi-Han to die so there’s no one left between Kuai and him.”

“And what exactly does Kuai Liang want in all this?” Most people wouldn’t say no to marrying someone of such money and standing, but most people didn’t make all. And in all this conversation, it seemed to focus on Sektor and Bi-Han’s wants, and nothing on what Kuai would like.

“I don’t know to be honest, his skittish nature makes him very hard to read.” Well, that was definitely true. “I think he just goes along with what Bi-Han wants. If Bi-Han died, I could see him latching onto Sektor just so he has someone to tell him how to think and feel.”

“Could you give me directions to the farm? I think I’d like to visit, if I can.” His initial confusion at Kuai hiding his powers was now replaced with concern. With someone so isolated, nothing good could be happening on that farm.

“If you follow that street, you’ll find a path through the woods.” The woman pointed towards the street in question. “Just keep going down that path and you will eventually come to the farm.” She snorted and paused, “although good luck, Bi-Han is not exactly fond of visitors.”

“That is fine, I’m sure I can find some common ground.” The woman did not look convinced, but bowed respectfully and turned to be on her way.

Hanzo, on the other hand, had a farm to find.

Kuai hummed as he picked a mushroom and put it in the basket. Mushroom picking was about the closest he got to leaving the farm as a child. The people of the town rarely came into the woods, so he wasn’t at risk of awkwardly running into people.

So when he heard a twig snap, he figured it was probably just an animal. He ignored it, deciding he’d throughly gathered all the mushrooms he could find. As he stood up to return back to the path, he jumped when he realised he saw a humanoid figure in his way.

He felt panic well in his throat when he realised it was Archmage Hasashi.

“Hello again,” Hasashi greeted, a strange lopsided smile on his face. “Sorry, I did not mean to scare you, I appear to be making a habit of that.”

“I- It’s okay?” Kuai didn’t mean that to sound like a question. His hands gripped the basket tightly. What is he doing here? Why is he so far out of the town?

“I’m glad I ran into you actually,” Hasashi continued, either oblivious to Kuai’s discomfort or disregarding it entirely. “I’ve had a day to myself, so I thought I’d familiarise myself with the surrounding area, including your family’s farm.”

Why? This was suspicious, no one except Sektor, Tomas and Cyrax ever came out to the farm. Bi-Han chased most people off. Kuai had no doubt there would be no exception for Hasashi, regardless of who he was. Still Kuai couldn’t find it in him to argue, that got stuck in his throat unable to escape.

“Oh,” was all he managed to get out. He supposed it wouldn’t hurt to guide Hasashi to the farm. Then once they got their Bi-Han would chase him off. “Um. I was just heading back.”

“May I accompany you?” The question was strange to Kuai, because it was clear Hasashi was going to do that regardless of his answer.

“Of course, Archmage Hasashi,” Kuai replied. Gingerly he approached the other man, feeling strange when he realised Hasashi’s gaze never left him. As he headed back towards the path, Hasashi turned to follow beside him. Kuai felt awkward, not sure what exactly he should do or say. Small talk was not something he did a lot, but he supposed he could try. “So… How are you finding the town?”

“Delightful,” Hasashi answered brightly, almost like he was glad that Kuai would ask such a question. “The locals have been so helpful.”

The emphasis on helpful was strange, but again, Kuai found he couldn’t call Hasashi out on it.

“Kuai Liang, how much do you know about the Archmages?” Was this small talk still? This felt very specific.

“I… Do not know much I’m afraid, Archmage Hasashi,” Kuai admitted. He really didn’t know a lot about them, except that if they knew about him, they would take him away. His Father had made sure that Kuai would never have any involvement with them. It was unfortunate he was no longer here to keep Hasashi away.

“I see,” Hasashi muttered, taking a deep breath, like what he was going to say next was the hardest thing he was ever going to say. “Then you are not aware that we are trained to be able to sense the magic of others?”

Kuai stopped walking. He stopped breathing. Everything just stopped. All he could do was stare at Hasashi. The other man was extremely calm, just looking at Kuai expectantly. But Kuai could do nothing. He almost thought he’d lost control and frozen himself, but a glance down told him he was ice free.

No one can know, that’s what Father said.

“With that in mind,” Hasashi continued, tilting his head as he folded his arms in front of his chest, “is there anything you wish to tell me?”

No, no, no, no, this can’t be happening.

“No one can know, that’s what Father said,” Kuai automatically blurted out, watching how Hasashi blinked and did a double take at that.

“Kuai Liang.” Hasashi took a step forward, reaching his hand out.

“No one can know, that’s what Father said,” Kuai repeated, beginning to back away, hiccuping as he felt his face growing hot. “No one can know.”

“Please, calm down, I don’t-“

“No one can know!” Kuai screeched, stomping his foot down and watching as several shards of ice erupted out of the ground below it. The loud gasp from Hasashi was drowned out by the blood pulsing in Kuai’s ears. “No, no, no.” He tried to take another step back, but stumbled down onto the floor. “No one can know.”

“Ice,” Hasashi whispered, staring at the shard pointed towards his face. He reached to touch it, looking at it in both wonder and shock. “Cryomancy.” He shook his head like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. “You’re a Cryomancer.”

“P-Please,” Kuai sobbed. He’d messed up badly. Not only had he revealed himself, he’d revealed himself to an Archmage. Hasashi was going to whisk him away and he’d never see Bi-Han, Tomas or Cyrax again. “Please, n-no one can know…”

That’s what Father said.

“Kuai Liang, it’s okay, calm down.” Hasashi crouched down in front of Kuai, placing a hand on Kuai’s shoulder while the other cupped Kuai’s chin. Kuai resisted the urge to tear his head away. “I’m not going to tell anyone about this.” Kuai wasn’t sure he believed that, but Hasashi said it with such conviction it was hard to not just trust his word. “But I do need to talk to you about this.”

“I- I- No one…” Kuai trailed off, because no one was supposed to know, but now someone did.

“I know. No one was supposed to know.” The hand that hand been on Kuai’s shoulder was next on Kuai’s head, fingers carding through his hair as Hasashi stroked him. “But I do know now, and that’s not your fault. You tried, your family can not be angry at you for this.” Hasashi didn’t know Bi-Han. Big Brother was going to be fuming over this. “We need to talk. Let’s get back to your farm, okay?”

Kuai blinked, tears rolling down his cheeks. He had no choice now did he? At least if Hasashi did take him, it seemed he might let Kuai have the chance to say goodbye to Bi-Han. Hasashi reached for Kuai’s hands, and Kuai realised his fingers were icing over. Fire came from Hasashi’s hands and Kuai flinched. The flames did not hurt him however, just melted the ice forming on his hands.

“Come, please.” Hasashi pulled Kuai up to his feet. He reached down to pick up Kuai’s basket, before gently leading Kuai down the path.

All Kuai could do was let himself be pulled over to the farm, while internally he agonised on how the hell he was going to explain himself.

It seemed Kuai’s brother was off tending to something when they got to the farm.

In a way, Hanzo was glad about that. It meant he had a bit of time to talk to Kuai alone. He realised how he’d brought things up was not the best way. He hadn’t anticipated Kuai’s reaction to be so strong, or for him to be quite that afraid of someone finding out. What the hell has his family told him to make him so terrified like that?

Despite this not being his house, Hanzo found himself in the kitchen, fixing up a cup of tea for himself and Kuai. His host was still shaken however, occasionally muttering about how no one could know and about his father. With the tea in his hand, Hanzo placed one cup in front of Kuai, while he took a seat opposite. Kuai stared down at the cup, rather than making eye contact with Hanzo.

“I need to ask you some questions now. Please answer them truthfully,” Hanzo began, watching Kuai clench his fist. The magic inside him was raging, and Hanzo could see flakes begin to form around Kuai’s knuckles. How little control he had was growing more concerning, but that could wait. “You are a Mage, are you not?”

Kuai was silent, looking like he was debating how to actually reply, before he miserably just said “yes.”

“Were either your mother or father Mages?” He asked. Magic generally was passed down through families, although it was entirely possible for non-Mages to give birth to mage’s and vice visa. Generally Mages who were born of two Mage parents were the ones powerful enough to be Archmages. Hence he needed to know if that was the case with Kuai Liang.

“No,” Kuai replied, finally moving his hand to grip the cup. Not to drink, Hanzo had a feeling he was trying to use it to heat up his hands and deal with the ice.

“I asked you to be honest with me,” Hanzo warned lowly, watching the way Kuai flinched at the tone being used with him.

“I am,” he croaked. “Neither of my parents had magic.”

Then, maybe Hanzo’s initial suspicion of Kuai’s Father not knowing how to handle him was right. It would have been even worse with a mage of Kuai’s magnitude.

“What about your brother? Is he a Mage?” This situation was unusual already, Hanzo figured he might as well cover all his bases.

“No. It’s just me.” Kuai sounded so dejected, and Hanzo’s heart broke for him. He should have been amongst other Mages, learning to harness his powers for the good of everyone. He shouldn’t have been alone and left to deal with this thing he didn’t understand.

“Why did your Father tell you no one could ever know about your magic?” He needed to know what excuse the man gave.

“He said the Archmages would take me away.” Kuai’s eyes lifted slightly, looking at Hanzo with very thinly veiled contempt. He was clearly still expecting this to happen. “He said they’d take me, and I’d never see my family again.”

Hanzo wanted to refute that point. The Archmages hadn’t forcefully taken children in a long time. Granted, it was something that used to happen, back in the days of old, but they had stopped many years ago.

But… Kuai Liang is a Cryomancer.

That single fact gave Hanzo a sinking feeling that the Archmages would indeed have taken Kuai away from his family.

“Cryomancy has long believed to be extinct,” Hanzo began to explain. He wasn’t sure if confirming Kuai’s fears was the best idea, but he couldn’t lie to the poor man either. “While the Archmages have long since stopped the abduction of Mage children, in your case, I will concede your Father’s fears were valid.” Kuai’s head snapped up, his teeth bared and eyes wide. “No new Cryomancer has been born in several generations. You are the first in a long long time. The Archmages would have wanted to ensure your survival and skill.”

And, most likely, would have hoped Kuai would eventually reintroduce Cryomancy into Mage bloodlines. That concept made Hanzo’s skin crawl. The Archmages had come a long way since the old days, but there were still ways they needed to improve.

“I- I don’t understand,” Kuai whispered, ice now snaking from his hands and onto the cup he was holding. The heat seemed to be doing nothing for it. “Are you saying I’m…”

Kuai stopped talking as his face screwed up.

“I’m saying you are the only one of your kind, yes,” Hanzo finished for him. He watched Kuai’s reaction closely. His breathing was growing heavier, and his lip was quivering slightly. “On top of that, the strength of your magic. It is enough that you could be an Archmage yourself.”

“No.” Kuai shook his head firmly, his mouth tight. “No, that’s not possible. I don’t have any control, I’m not that powerful.”

“Having control and how powerful your magic is are not the same thing,” Hanzo explained. Kuai shook his head again. “Kuai Liang, the reason you always feel so overwhelmed by your powers is because they are so immense.” It had taken Hanzo years of intense training to get his powers under control. The fact Kuai had any control at all was nothing short of a miracle. “If you had been raised amongst other Mages rather than being kept in isolation, you would not have as much trouble as you do.”

“So you think they should have taken me?” Kuai spat, and the amount of vitriol made Hanzo do a double take. “My Father was right. The Archmages are just pompous know-it-all’s who think they know what’s best when they know nothing at all.”

Hanzo watched as the ice spread across the table, and he quickly realised if he did not want this to escalate into a physical fight he was going to have to try and calm him down.

“That isn’t what I meant,” Hanzo tried to say as softly as he could. He could feel Kuai’s magic threatening to break through, engulfing everything unfortunate to be too close. “I just meant if you had been allowed to be more open about your powers, you would have had access to help and companionship.” The ice slowly cracked as it spread further. “You wouldn’t have had to be alone.”

“I wasn’t alone,” Kuai hissed, a loud snap as he clenched his fist and broke the ice surrounding it. “I had my father and brother. I had Tomas and Cyrax. I was not on my own.”

“But none of them are Mages.” He wasn’t sure how to explain that the companionship between Mages would always be different than between a Mage and Non-Mage. “None of them understand what you are going through.” He attempted to reach a hand over to place one on Kuai’s, but the other man yanked his arm back so hard Hanzo actually flinched back in his seat. “I do though, Kuai Liang. And I want to help you.”

“You don’t understand anything!” Kuai slammed his fist down on the table, and as he did a large burst of energy emerged from him.

Hanzo engulfed himself in flame, hoping maybe it would prevent him getting encased in ice. He stilled for a moment, other than the rush of the fire surrounding him, all he could hear where the ragged sobs of Kuai. He extinguished the fire, looking around, the entire room was encased in a thick layer of ice. Disturbingly, the ice facing Hanzo was jagged, and while the ones closest to him had the tips melted off, it was clear they had been sharp and would have easily pierced through his flesh. His fire shield had been his saviour from having an icicle through his skull.

Hanzo needed to get Kuai to trust him, because like this?

Kuai was a risk to both himself and everyone around him.

“Kuai Liang, I-“

He was cut off when he heard a door slam open and a pair of footsteps rush towards the room.

“What the fuck just hap-“ a man stopped in the doorway to the kitchen, his face dropping as he surveyed the room before him. It was obvious this was Bi-Han, given how eerily similar to Kuai Liang he looked. At least he now had no doubt Kuai wasn’t lying about his brother not having magic, he could feel absolutely nothing from the other man.

Bi-Han’s eyes landed on Kuai Liang, who was still crying into his hands.

And like that he snapped into action.

He was across the room and pulling Kuai close to him within the time it took Hanzo to blink. Kuai was still too upset to coherently explain what was going on. His buried his head into Bi-Han’s side, as if to hide his face. Then Bi-Han’s attention was on Hanzo.

By the Gods, Hanzo had never seen someone look at him with such pure hatred before.

“Who the fuck are you and what did you do to him?” Bi-Han demanded, his grip on Kuai tightening.

“My name is Archmage Hanzo Hasashi and-“

He had no way to finish that sentence before Bi-Han was pulling out a knife strapped to his thigh and pointing it in Hanzo’s direction.

“You will not take him,” Bi-Han snarled, clutching the knife so hard his knuckles were going white. “I will not let you.”

“I do not wish to take him,” Hanzo tried, pushing himself to stand up. Bi-Han kept the knife trained on him the entire time.

“Like hell you don’t.” It was no wonder Kuai had so much fear of being taken away, if this was how his family had always reacted.

“I only wish to help him.”

The reply he received was Bi-Han spitting in his general direction. He wasn’t going to get anywhere like this. Maybe if he called it a day, allowed the brothers to calm down, he’d have a better chance at getting through to them how much Kuai needed help.

“I can see that this has caused a great deal of distress to you both,” Hanzo claimed, holding his hands up in front of him. He had hoped it would show he was surrendering, but given that Bi-Han manoeuvred so he was now shielding Kuai with his entire body, it clearly hadn’t come across that way. “While I do still need to talk more, I can see that for now, conversation is not an option.”

“What is there to talk about?” Bi-Han growled. “You are not taking him from me, end of discussion. There is nothing more to be said.” He slashed the knife at the air, before pointing it back at Hanzo. “And know, Archmage, if you dare try, I will fight until my last breath, and slit the throats of every one of your infernal order whose foolish enough to attempt it.”

The reality was, Bi-Han would be long dead before he could get close to any Archmage to slit their throat. Somehow, pointing this fact out seemed counterproductive.

“I will allow you both to calm down, and then maybe we can have a more civil discussion.” He moved around the table to head towards the doorway. He glanced back at the brothers. Kuai was peering around his elder brother, eyes full of a hazy mix of emotions, between contempt, terror and relief. Hanzo sighed and added, “I am sorry, Kuai Liang, I know this is upsetting for you, but this is not something I can just walk away from.”

Kuai did not reply, just bowed his head and pushed into Bi-Han’s side again. Speaking of, the look in the elder’s eyes, told Hanzo if he didn’t get out now, he was going to end up with that knife in his head.

He turned, walking away and letting himself out of the farmhouse’s front door. He didn’t stop to contemplate anything, just continued to walk down to path and back to the town.

This was going to be far harder than he could of ever anticipated, and he needed to consider his next actions carefully if he hoped to get any positive results. Most importantly, he could not alert the other Archmages to the situation just yet. Knowing them, they’d go in with little thought and make Kuai leave by force. Given how intermeshed the two brother’s appeared, suddenly separating Kuai from Bi-Han would cause him to shut down completely. At the same time, Bi-Han’s possessive attitude was going to be a major obstacle in all of this. “You are not taking him from me”, that’s what Bi-Han said, wasn’t it? Like a child being threatened with having his favourite toy confiscated from him. He was sure if it were not for Bi-Han’s influence over his brother, gentle persuasion would eventually work on Kuai, but it was getting him away long enough to cut the threads that kept them tied together.

And if he cut the wrong thread, he ran the risk of completely destroying any chance Kuai Liang had at living a more normal life.

What the hell have I gotten myself into?

≛❀≛ Next Chapter ⋟

[frizz22]

Green with Envy

Note: Okay, I haven’t had the chance to start watching season 2 yet, but saw some gifs of Melissa in 2x02 in the green shirt both at the school and home and had some thoughts and assumptions, haha. Hope you enjoy!

Read on AO3

Technically, Barbara thought, as her eyes dipped to the edge of the fabric again, it wouldn’t meet the definition of a shirt; what Melissa was wearing.

No.

Shirts, shirts were meant to cover more of that pale, soft skin, meant to be more modest. The green material qualified as a camisole at best, of that she was certain. Sure, Melissa had a jacket over top, but it was fitted as well and, if anything, it accentuated her figure further.

She hadn’t noticed at first, when they chatted at the start of the day, hadn’t noticed just how low cut the top was. No, she didn’t notice until lunch and a bit of sauce dripped onto Melissa’s chest, and she swore, wiping at the offending blob with a napkin.

It was then an image of her using her tongue to clean the sauce off that soft skin instead assailed Barbara and had her choking on her salad. Completely unaware of where Barbara’s mind had gone, Melissa thumped her helpfully on the back.

When the fit passed, Barbara made a concentrated effort to keep her gaze on Melissa’s face. Thankfully, her friend partially turned in her chair again, returning to her conversation with Janine and Jacob and hadn’t noticed her gawking.

Unfortunately, this position also meant Melissa had one arm bent and propped onto the back of her chair while the other rested on the table, inadvertently putting her wonderfully highlighted assets further on display.

Dragging her eyes away once more, Barbara pointedly turned to her water to take a sip only to immediately make eye contact with Ava who’d appeared in the door at some point.

Lips pursed in amusement, Ava cocked a brow at Barbara and then glanced at Melissa. Then she brought her eyes back to Barbara, something positively wicked there that had Barbara swallowing nervously.

Wholly wanting to avoid any kind of confrontation in the break room, because Ava had the discretion of a stampeding elephant, Barbara made a hasty excuse to head back to her classroom early, shoving what remained of her lunch into the trash and waving off Melissa’s offer to join her; all but running from the break room.

Ava, of course, dogged her heels. “Ohoho, Barbara!” She practically sang. “I didn’t know you were finally ready to play both sides.” Her brows waggled suggestively.

Heat spreading across her cheeks and the back of her neck, Barbara kept going, hoping to lose Ava if she didn’t acknowledge her…. But what did she mean by ‘finally’?

Undeterred, Ava kept pace with that odd prancing walk of hers. “I mean, I knew Schemmenti did,” she commented blithely, while Barbara whipped to face her. Oblivious to her astonishment, Ava plowed ahead. “You’d be cute together. First relationship after the divorce, right?” She finally focused on Barbara enough to read her dumbstruck expression. “What? I pay attention to your lives. It’s been months since you and Jarred—“ she ignored Barbara’s halfhearted correction of Gerald—, "split. Enjoy yourself.” When Barbara continued to bluster, Ava started typing into her phone. “Don’t be a prude. No straight woman stares at another woman’s chest like that. Besides, you’ve been crushing on each other for ages, all the flirting you two do.” Fake gagging, Ava finally looked up from her phone. “Just be glad she isn’t teaching middle school, there’d be all kinds of baby boners popping up.” Her expression was devilish now as an actual cackle emanated from her.

“Ava!” Barbara hissed, horrified and unsure how to even begin to address a statement that was so inappropriate.

Rolling her eyes, Ava shrugged. “Oh please, you know it’s true. And don’t pretend you don’t have a lady boner yourself, Barbara. I see you, all hot and bothered.” With a final arch of her brow, Ava tossed her hair over her shoulder and walked away.

An indignant huff escaping her, Barbara pushed into her classroom, unable to wrap her mind around what Ava just said. The sheer audacity and inappropriateness, it was a new level, even for Ava. Except….

She sighed. Except Ave wasn’t entirely wrong about how she looked at Melissa back in the break room.

And it was as if some switch had been flipped in her head. All afternoon, Barbara found her mind wandering into daydreams. It didn’t help that naptime left her free of distractions. And when she and Melissa slipped into the library to pick up materials for their lessons the next afternoon, all Barbara could think about was her desire to press Melissa against the shelves and kiss the woman senseless as Barbara’s hands roamed and acquainted themselves with those curves.

While Barbara may have been able to blame Ava for throwing her mind further in the gutter, Barbara was relieved to see the often ridiculous woman parked in the library, thoroughly distracting Melissa from the tension Barbara was sure would’ve been felt between them otherwise.

She barely made it to the end of the day. Even went so far as to back out of Melissa’s invitation for everyone to come to her house and learn more about cooking; Barbara knew she’d give it all away if in Melissa’s house, even with their coworkers there. So, despite Melissa’s slightly crestfallen expression—and was Barbara reading too much into it to consider it crestfallen?—She went home.

But… as she sat alone, Barbara found she couldn’t stay home. Not with Ava’s words echoing in her head about Melissa ‘playing both sides’ or about how the two of them always flirted.

Which, that is to say, is how Barbara found herself in front of Melissa’s door, hoping against hope that everyone had politely left at 8:30 as Melissa had decreed when she initially extended the invite and that there were no lollygaggers.

Barbara had made sure to note that there were no cars in the drive, so she took a deep breath and knocked.

“I swear Janine, whatever you forgot this time, you could’ve texted me and I’d have brought whatever it is to school tomo—“ Melissa’s affectionately exasperated voice sounded through the door before she answered, and it only to cut off when she realized it was Barbara on the other side. “Oh, hey,” her entire demeanor softening, Melissa stepped aside, a wide smile on her face. “Come on in. You missed everyone else, though maybe that was the point.” A chuckle rumbled through her as she shut the door behind them.

Of course, she was still wearing that sinful camisole, though it was now under a jean button up shirt that was entirely unbuttoned. Another image of her leaving a mark on that creamy skin, just along the edge of the camisole appeared in Barbara’s mind as she entered, and she had to shake herself in order to focus. “What? I’m sorry, I was woolgathering.” She offered to Melissa when the woman gave her a perplexed look.

Brow arching, Melissa crossed her arms. “I asked if you wanted some wine… but maybe you don’t need anything that fogs that brain of yours any further. Not unless you want to spend the night, which, of course, is always an option. You know the spare room is yours.” She said this nonchalantly over her shoulder as she poured them both some wine despite her words.

Happily accepting the glass, Barbara set her purse on the coffee table and took a deep drink before sitting on the couch next to Melissa. “For once in her life, I think Ava made an astute observation.” She announced, diving right in before she lost her nerve… or mind; stay the night!

Snorting, Melissa curled her feet underneath her. “Bound to happen sometime, right? All the shit she spouts off?” Melissa propped her elbow on the back of the couch and rested her head on her fist. “What did our ‘enlightened’ principal have to say?” Her lips curled into a mischievous grin as she waited.

Her eyes carefully on Melissa’s face, Barbara swallowed another sip of wine, praying Ava was just as right about Melissa as she was about Barb herself, before plunging ahead. “She mentioned I was ready to date again.”

The news made Melissa sit up straighter. “And why does Ava know this before me?” She demanded, tone only a little bit playful.

Barbara tried to smile and was sure she failed. “Because she caught me staring at someone.” She supplied weakly, losing her nerve despite her earlier bravado.

Eyes widening almost comically fast, Melissa leaned in. “That, that means, it’s someone at school!” She exclaimed. “Barbara! You’re killing me here, which parent?” When Barbara frowned at the assumption, Melissa smirked. “Please, I know it’s not a coworker. I’ve met them all, and honey, none of them are worthy of you.”

“It’s not a parent!” She objected, forgetting her nerves for a moment and shoving at Melissa’s knee; as though she would lose all professionalism!

Melissa pressed her lips together at this in an attempt to control her expression, an attempt that failed, and one of concern and a bit of disgust flickered there next. “Don’t, don’t tell me it’s Mr. Johnson.” She pled, hand coming over to rest on Barbara’s forearm. “Barbara, he’s a good guy, but he’s, he’s….” Clearly having trouble finding a diplomatic word, Melissa sighed. “I don’t think the two of you have much in common. It wouldn’t be a good fit. You deserve—"

A laugh escaping her, Barbara covered Melissa’s hand with her own. “I promise it’s not Mr. Johnson. Girl…” she tsked, shaking her head at the relieved expression on her friend’s face.

Throwing her free hand up, Melissa shrugged. “Then who?!”

Cheeks heating, Barbara removed her hand from Melissa’s and focused intently on the wine left in her glass. “You.” She offered simply.

Dumbstruck, a light pink blush dusted Melissa’s chest, drawing Barbara’s eye for just a moment. “M-, me?” She whispered in confirmation.

“I understand if this is uncomfortable for you, and I apologize so very much if it is. Stop me now and we can go on as if I never said anything. Tonight could just be a fever dream and —"

Her words were cut off by Melissa gently cupping her cheek. “I’m not uncomfortable,” she explained steadily, “but I do want to clarify, if that’s okay?” Her thumb stroked Barbara’s skin and she couldn’t help but melt into the touch. Nodding, Barbara kept her hands to herself. “You think you’re ready to date again, and not just date in general but date me, because Ava caught you staring at me and said something, is that right?”

Not missing her tone, Barbara hurried to respond. “I know, I know how it sounds because it’s Ava. I know.” She inched a bit closer to Melissa on the couch. “But it wasn’t subtle, what she saw, what she brought to my attention. I,” her ears warming as well now, Barbara sighed and dropped her eyes. “I was staring at your chest at lunch.” She admitted in a rush. “That top was, is, doing things to me, and I may have been fantasizing which is why I choked on my food. And Ava, Ava caught me. She called me out, Melissa, said we flirted all the time, but Ava didn’t put the idea in my head. If I’m honest, the idea of dating you has been there for a while, I was just never brave enough to voice it. I needed that trademark Ava brashness to kick me into gear.” She brought her gaze back to Melissa and bit her lip, unsure.

A half smile, one that still flickered with disbelief, quirked Melissa’s lips as she shook her head and withdrew her hand from Barbara’s face. “I’m happy to be the cause of your bisexual awakening, Barbara,” she murmured softly. “But just because my tits were the first to get your attention doesn’t mean you want to date me.”

Taken aback, Barbara set her wine glass down on the coffee table and placed her hand on Melissa’s knee to ensure her attention. “My ‘bisexual awakening’, as you call it, actually happened when I was sixteen.” She sighed as she recounted the memory. “Diana Ross had started her solo music career, I saw her perform Endless Love… I could’ve sworn she sang it just for me.” At Melissa’s surprised but pleased face, Barbara continued. “So, no, Melissa Schemmenti, while I am sure you have awakened many a bisexual and gay feelings in women, I was not one of them. I just never felt it again in any significant way, until I met you.”

And all that lovely, exposed skin Barbara had been admiring all day flushed a delightful pink. “Sorry for the assumption. You know what assuming makes me,” she tried to tease, flush deepening. “I, I’ve known my whole life I liked both, but once I met you, I knew I wouldn’t like someone else that deeply ever again.” Melissa bit her lip and scooted closer to Barbara. “So, now what?” She asked, looking Barbara directly in the eye.

Barbara’s lips answered, she couldn’t bear anymore waiting. Her hands wasted no time either, slipping around Melissa’s waist and pulling her close.

Groaning softly in encouragement, Melissa allowed Barbara to lead, allowed herself to be pulled into Barbara’s lap as her mouth was slowly, and thoroughly explored. Her hands came up to trace Barbara’s jaw, to slide along her neck, dip into her hair and tug, just the tiniest bit and it had Barbara gasping into Melissa’s mouth.

Suddenly Melissa was moving with more purpose, now she wasn’t just in Barbara’s lap, but straddling it, and lips now moving purposefully down Barbara’s neck.

Taking the opportunity to push the button up from Melissa’s shoulders, Barbara then tentatively brushed her fingers along the underside of Melissa’s breasts as her hands spanned the shorter woman’s ribs.

Never shy, Melissa grasped Barbara’s hand and placed it directly on her breast without breaking her ministrations along Barbara’s neck.

Her other hand immediately coming up to join the first, Barbara moaned. Hands gloriously full, Barbara pulled away from Melissa and when the redhead frowned a little, Barb smiled, pecked her on the nose, and then dropped her mouth to where it wanted to be all day.

Tongue, teeth, and lips tracing the neckline of the camisole, Barbara sighed happily as she slipped down further when she reached the dip between Melissa’s breasts. Melissa moaned, her hips moving more deliberately and her hands burying into Barbara’s hair, encouraging her.

God was good indeed, Barbara thought faintly as she pulled the green fabric down until one lace clad breast appeared. She glanced at Melissa then, wanting to make sure they were on the same page and the redhead nodded, deliciously breathless and flushed. Grinning, Barbara leaned back in and sucked a mark onto the swell of the pale skin just above the lace.

“Christ above, Barbara.” Melissa gasped, her back arching into the attention and finger digging into her shoulders

Unable to help herself, Barbara released the flesh once a small, faint purple bruise marred it. “Can I have more?” She asked, not even recognizing her own voice, ravaged by lust as it was.

Speechless, Melissa nodded.

Several quick movements later and the camisole was around Melissa’s waist, her bra pushed down just enough to free her breasts but still prop them and Barbara knew she didn’t take the appropriate amount of time to appreciate the beauty in front of her. But she didn’t have the capacity to slow down at the moment.

Palming Melissa, she groaned as the nipple hardened under her fingers’ deft rolls and pinches. Her mouth hurriedly found the other, suckling and nibbling. And the sounds falling from Melissa were better than any prayer Barbara had ever heard or uttered in her life.

She worshipped the woman on top of her and when Melissa was gasping and squirming, trying to pull away from the overstimulation on now sensitive buds, Barbara doubled down and Melissa’s head dropped back. And though she was nearly lost to the sensations, Barbara made sure to use Melissa’s breath as her barometer; faster, slower, the gasps and hitches.

The hitches were her favorite, Barbara decided as it happened again.

“Fuck, Barbara. Please—" Melissa whined, and Barbara moved to make a matching hickey on Melissa’s other breast.

When she finally pulled back, a bit breathless from her efforts she grinned. “Mel—“ she murmured, delighting in the mess she made of Melissa. But, her hands fell to Melissa’s hips to slow their grinding, as much as she wanted this, wanted Melissa, she didn’t want Melissa to think this was all she wanted.

Smoothing Melissa’s mussed hair back, Barbara cupped her face between both hands. “I don’t want to rush this,” when Melissa started to protest, Barbara smiled. “You’re too important to me, Melissa, I want this,” she swallowed hard, eyes falling to take in all of Melissa again and nearly caved at the sight. “Heaven above, I want it quite badly, but I want more. I want all of you, Melissa Schemmenti, in every way, shape and form. I don’t want to ruin it by moving too fast.”

Melissa leaned forward then, resting her forehead against Barbara’s and exhaling slowly. “Couldn’t have figured that out before you got me all worked up?” She asked, half laugh and half frustration in her voice.

Tenderly righting Melissa’s bra, Barbara kissed the tip of each breast before tucking them away and then gently slid Melissa’s camisole back up, her lips tracing its path and slow movements. “I don’t mean to tease—"

A snort emanated from Melissa then. “Like hell, this torture is payback for the shirt, isn’t it?” She asked, looking down to admire the edges of the hickeys peeking out faintly from behind the fabric.

She grinned. “I am not that devious, or well planned. But it is nice to know you’re as affected by me as I am by you.” Barbara murmured, her hands tracing lightly along Melissa’s hips.

A sharp, edging that line between pain and pleasure, tug jerked Barbara’s head back by her hair and heat bloomed in her core in response. “Very affected.” Melissa breathed before crashing her mouth to Barbara’s in a fierce, but short kiss. When Melissa broke away, her hands tenderly massaged the back of Barbara’s scalp, soothing the slight sting.

Her mind fuddled once more Barbara merely smiled goofily up at the redhead on top of her. “Have,” she cleared her throat, “have dinner with me?”

A beautiful smile spread across Melissa’s face. “Tell me when and where, babe.”

[lizzyverydizzyyo]

D.E.A.N | Chapter 23 - Retreat

Masterlist and overall summary of the whole novel is here. | Prompt on trope-appreciation-tuesdays that inspired this is here. | @whumptober-archive

Fandom : Original Work

(I) (II) (III) (IV) (V) (VI) (VII) (VIII) (IX) (X) (XI) (XII) (XIII) (XIV) (XV) (XVI) (XVII) (XVIII) (XIX) (XX) (XXI) (XXII) (XXIII) (XXIV) (XXV) (XXVI) (XXVII) (XXVIII) (XXIX) (XXX) (XXXI - END)

AO3

Wordcount : ± 3863

TW : Allusion to CSAM (underage noncon)

Summary:

The team might have arrived in their temporary asylum unhurt physically (except for their charge), but it doesn’t mean they are fine on the inside, and definitely not their charge either. It also doesn’t mean they can breathe easy yet with the brewing war to prepare for.

This story is set in the last half of 2016.

——

The team room and the med bay in 1034’s headquarter are separated by two walls (the med bay wall and the team room wall itself), with a wide hallway in between. Unlike 1056’s headquarter, 1034’s team room is a giant closed-off space, instead of simply a connecting hallway where they plop in their tools and techs. It makes sense for that team since they have almost 20 agents. Still, Mark knows—from when he was walking in—which direction the med bay is.

He stares in that direction, surrounding blurring together and voices around him sounding submerged. He can’t focus on anything else but the thought of Nick’s condition, with his wound now being treated again by Doctor Lowe, his three nurses, and additional doctors and nurses from Central Hub.

“Mark.”

He turns, seeing Anna looking at him with a somewhat irritated look, so he decides to rotate his body to face forward and see the other agents, all standing over their physical paper map while discussing plans with grave voices.

“We have requested backups from Nevada Central Hub, and they said they can give at least 70 personnel within 36 hours, maybe even faster, thankfully,” Mark hears Agent Leonard says. “If possible, we’d like meet them halfway rather than expecting them to help us here. 1056 might have been followed or tracked, at least, so we have to assume staying here isn’t safe either.”

Mark sees other agents nodding at the dark-skinned man.

“Here is our closest route to a convergence point with Central backup’s route. Approximately, they’ll be there at around hour 17:35 tomorrow.”

All the surrounding agents look at where he is pointing at the map.

“But Tactical Intelligence there…” another commanding officer starts, now from team 1023, while she nods at Tactical Intelligence agents next to the crowd around the map, “…said that around 10 miles from this spot—” she is now tapping a spot in the middle of black marker line on the map, pointing with an index finger, “—there is a very probably spot of a Helga circle.”

Mark looks at the Tactical Intelligence agents focused on their computers, then back at the pale woman with tall and burly stature. Her name, if he is not mistaken, is Florence Hall.

“Since you said our informant warned you to expect all circles within 100-miles radius to attack us, I’d rather have this route as the last resort,” Agent Himura says while looking at Anna then the rest of 1056. “We don’t know how many men they have on this spot, or if they are all armed and battle ready.”

“There is another route, which requires us to detour a little to the south,” Horace is now the one talking, pointing his HT antenna to the other black marker line on the map, “but this means we have less time to prepare to make sure we get there in time. It’s 25 miles longer than the one more on the north.”

Mark furrows his eyebrows.

“Is that the only other coordinate we can go to meet Central halfway?”

Now that he is more focused on the discussion, he realizes the convergence point is incredible close to the usual route they used to meet their drop-point agent. That has to be the most predictable route to be tracked by Helga.

“There are other points, yes. We haven’t ruled them out, but we’re prioritizing the closest ones to us,” now 1082’s commanding officer replies—a dark-skinned woman with ponytail dreads named Imani Maxwell.

“Is it possible to just go out of state? It’s much closer for us to go to Oregon or California from here.”

“They will be expecting us to go out of state since, as you said, that’s much closer. It’s too predictable,” Agent Hall responds again.

“And Central Hub closest to us is here, in Nevada, not one out of state. We need backup ASAP more than we need faster route away from possible Helga circles who want to attack us,” Agent Leonard adds. “Besides, we already contacted them and have confirmation of backup coming.”

“But that’s our route when we needed to replenish our stocks. Would that be safe for us?”

Mark looks at Don, somewhat pleased that, for once, they’re on the same thought track.

All four teams’ commanding officers look at each other, consideration and deep thinking clear on their faces.

“We’ll retrace again the route Central gave us, one they’ll use to go to us. See if there are other possible convergence points,” Agent Himura finally concedes, “but we have to decide quickly. Or we won’t be able to send them the coordinates in time. We can’t afford to miss each other.”

Agent Hall furrows her eyebrows and leans forwards a little bit more.

“What if…” she tilts her head to side while looking at one of the black marker lines, “…we ask the backup team to meet us at a later time?”

The others look at her with their own contemplating expressions, but Agent Maxwell replies to her.

“You mean asking them to stay in a spot along that route until we arrive there?”

1023’s commanding officer nods to the 1082’s one.

“But that means the backup have to stay stagnant at the point of convergence while waiting for the agents from here to arrive,” Horace explains now with the others nodding at him. “It will put the backup team in vulnerable position, because it would be easier to ambush them than if they are moving.”

Agent Himura nods too at Horace.

"That's not an option. We can't have them sitting duck because we will be putting both of us in danger."

Agent Van Hoven raises his head from looking down at the table.

"Is it possible that we just go whenever we're ready? And just meet them wherever we will meet them along the route that they sent us?"

The other agents look towards him now, then each other.

"We might miss them and risk having to go back and forth," Anna finally replies.

"We can have consistent online communication with the backup team to update them on where we are and where they are," he adds.

"That's putting our connection in extreme vulnerabilities," Mark now explains. "If it's constantly on, there will be higher chance that it will be detected and intercepted."

Some agents agree with him, nodding their heads.

"We can do it incrementally, then. Just send a signal maybe every few minutes so that we can update each other."

Some agents, including Anna and Agent Himura, seem contemplating.

Eventually, Agent Van Hoven adds, "We won't have enough time to keep discussing where to meet, and all the coordinates we come up with are either too far or unsafe."

After 1034's deputy says that, the man waits a bit to let the others digest his words. Agent Van Hoven takes a while to explain more.

"I think our odds are better if we just go as soon as we are ready, and meet them wherever we can meet them. That way, none of us is vulnerable due to being stagnant in one spot for too long," the lean man suggests more, "and since we don't have predetermined coordinates to meet, we won't risk having information intercepted by Helga since there is no intel to intercept anyway."

Anna seems more receptive of the argument, then she turns to the side where Tactical Intelligence agents are still sitting in front of their computers. Some of them are also hunched in their own spot where there is a table with the destroyed laptop pieces on top of it.

They push around the pieces, prodding and moving them around using a wooden chopstick on top of their gloved hands. They said they are avoiding metals and direct human contact, making sure they don't accidentally transmit some electrical charge or signal if the laptop parts are deceptively still on.

The other agents around Anna also turn to them.

She says, "We can ask them to create stronger signal protection, see if they have any idea for it."

Agent Himura sighs deeply, seemingly not liking his own deputy's idea, but resigned towards the possibility that they might have to do just that. He eventually cocks his head to the side, a gesture to invite the others around him to follow him. He then walks closer to the Tactical Intelligence agents.

Realizing that they're being approached, some of the agents look up to face the Offensive teams.

"Sir," one of them greets Agent Himura, straightening her back as she is subtly deferring to him as a higher hierarchy agent, but also signaling being the leader of the other Tactical Intelligence agents. If Mark is not mistaken, her name is Agent Landau.

"Any progress on what we can find in that computer?"

She looks down again to the table then to her side where the other agents are focused on their own screens.

"We are still separating some of the parts, see which one we can still recover and access. But we're not plugging in any of it to a device with outward connection."

Anna hums in understanding.

"Wouldn't want it to accidentally connect to Helga's server and give away our location."

"Understood," Agent Van Hoven says.

"We're still going to disconnect everything in this headquarter when we plug in any part later, so we hope you can help us check everything in this building that might be connected to the satellite, or anything of kind."

Mark and the rest nod at her.

"Speaking of which, is there anything you need now?" Agent Landau asks professionally.

"We might need extra masking encryption for our communication with Central Hub backup," Agent Himura takes over, "We might have to meet them in a non-predetermined convergence point, and we need something that protect our communication so that we can continuously update them on our location."

"Oh, that makes sense," she replies, "we will figure something out."

Agent Himura nods again.

She is about to turn around to her own subordinates when she halts with an unsure face. She seems to be uncomfortable about something.

"Just... to be sure..."

She falters, slightly biting her lip.

"What... what are we..." she pauses again while her eyes dart again to the side where the row of computers is located, "...if we manage to recover a part, especially things that keep the device memory... what are we going to see?"

She then points to the table where Nick's broken laptop parts are spread out.

Mark's face falls, just as his other teammates' do. Anna parts her lips then blinks, clearly unsure about what to say.

Agent Landau explains again, still uncomfortable, "say, if we recover the drive, or something—and it might have saved the last state of the laptop before it was shut down completely—we're going to see whatever the screen showed before... what would we see there?"

Anderson gulps deeply, clearly sick to his stomach, while Mark feels protective of Nick. He is reluctant to tell her what it was, or let her and the other Tactical Intelligence agents plug it in at all, even if it is important.

Nick doesn't deserve to have that... video... shown to anyone else again.

"It's just..." her eyes now dart to somewhere else, towards the direction of the med bay from where she is standing within the room, "...we got reports on what kind of informant, um, victim he is... and you lot told us he... um... injured himself after this video. And that's why you escaped 1056 headquarter."

Mark, Anderson, and Anna look towards each other. Even Agent Van Hoven and Agent Himura look unsure and uncomfortable too, seemingly having a guess already.

"It's... uh..." Anna starts, clearing her throat tightly, "...something that... we should give to FBI."

Agent Landau furrows her eyebrows, taking a while to connect the dots as the Offensive agents around her squirm uncomfortably. Eventually, her eyes widen.

"What age?" she asks, sounding almost scared.

Anderson lifts his hands to stare down at them and cracks his knuckles absently, as if he is feeling deeply awkward. He tells her, "17."

She surreptitiously sighs in relief, glad that maybe Nick was not too young in whatever she is going to see.

"Um, well, it's..." she turns again to the table, "...it's not guaranteed, though, that we can recover the full state of the machine when it was shut down."

Even if she gives them a professional and impartial look, the atmosphere is still somewhat tense and mourning.

"We probably will only recover partial data."

Mark hears Anna sighing in relief beside him and closing her eyes shortly.

Another Tactical Intelligence agent stands up and approaches her, saying, "Ma'am, we might be able to use this."

He is holding a plastic ziploc bag with a shiny metallic part in it, hands still gloved. Agent Landau looks at him shortly, then turns to Agent Himura again.

"We will have to do that later," she says, referring to the comm additional security layer that Agent Himura requested before. "We need to inspect this now, unfortunately."

Mark and the Offensive team crowd look understanding, promptly taking out their communication devices to deactivate them as Agent Landau instructed.

"Can you two go around and check in with everyone else to turn off their comm devices?" she says to that agent holding the plastic, and another one still standing near the table of the laptop pieces.

They both nod and walk away, presumably doing what they are told. She then turns back again to Agent Himura and those standing behind him.

"If you don't mind, I would like for you too to inform your teams to check for any comm device and turn them off."

They all nod again and disperse, with Mark following Agent Van Hoven to the roof to inform the snipers to disconnect their devices.

There are other spots that they go to, coincidentally meeting the other agents in discussion with Anna and Agent Himura before, then diverging to visit some nooks and crannies of the headquarter to see if there are other stray agents who are not aware of the instruction by Tactical Intelligence.

When they're done, all of the agents walk in droves to the team room, along with the two Tactical Intelligence agents commanded by Agent Landau. Mark sees the other Tactical Intelligence agents who are working on their computers now click around, some even turning their PCs and monitors off completely.

Mark frowns, seeing just how many people are in the room, supposedly waiting to see whatever it is they're going to see on the broken device, or any information at all pertaining Nikolai’s laptop and its access to Helga's server before. Even if it makes sense that they want to know, it still makes Mark feel sick on behalf of Nick. He wishes there were fewer of them here.

Nick's humiliating past and abuses should not be watched by this many people. Or anyone at all. He deserves that dignity, at least. Mark is apparently not alone in this, considering his fellow agents in team 1056 are all looking down or fiddling with their tools tensely.

As the two Tactical Intelligence agents from before approach Agent Landau again, they say something in hushed voices, and then she nods. She faces the Offensive team agents again.

"Please make sure all of you have turned off everything that can connect to the outside. Even your radios."

There is a wave of agents fishing out their pockets to double check if everything is turned off and that they didn't miss anything. At that, she looks quite satisfied and approaches a desk, now the one holding the plastic bag containing a part of Nick's broken laptop.

She gloves up, putting double layers of them, then fishes out the metal piece around half the size of her palm from the plastic. She puts it on a computer desk while pulling a connecting hub full of USB ports, memory card slots, and other ports dedicated to connecting more obscure computer parts. The hub is connected to her own computer with another USB cord.

There is also a PC case that’s opened to the outside. It’s connected by a cable to Agent Landau’s computer through one of the ports in the hub. The PC tower has some hardware attached to the motherboard inside, but some slots remain empty. She tries to plug the broken piece into one of the slots.

She has to struggle a bit because of the somewhat mangled state of the metal piece, making sure that she is gentle enough not to damage it further, but forceful enough to make the part yield to the port shape. She succeeds after a few attempts.

"Wait!"

Everyone turns to Mark, making him realize that he even says anything at all. Some of them look at him with furrowed eyebrows, and others look irritated.

He looks around unsurely, but firms up himself to say, "Not everyone has to be here for it, right?"

He tries to steady himself, hoping he doesn't waver for this.

"I mean, not everyone has to see what's inside there, do they? We just need to know what damage is done to our network, and if all of us here are safe for now?"

He is desperately hoping that they will listen to him for this. He doesn't want Nikolai to be defiled further. Nick deserves this, at least.

Thankfully, the ones who know—like Agent Landau herself, Tactical Intelligence agents who have been listening to the conversation before, and some agents from 1034 and 1056—nod in understanding with forlorn looks.

"I think only the commanding officers and the deputies, except for 1056, need to see this. We will inform any important findings to the rest of you once the inspection is done," Agent Himura commands.

Obviously, the rest of them look puzzled and even offended that they're being singled out.

"It's a sensitive footage of our informant," Horace adds, uncharacteristically testy and seemingly impatient for the other agents to comply. "If you have weak stomach, I suggest you don't stay."

Some still look clueless as to what that means, but others have realizations on their faces, so they whisper to rest to listen and just go.

"Trust me, I don't think you want to see it," one of them whispers as they leave, “Let’s just check our stocks in the back and prepare.”

Mark's fellow agents in team 1056 look down mournfully, some—including himself—also walk out as if they don't want a repeat of what they saw or heard before. Eventually only 10 agents are left in the room aside from Tactical Intelligence agents: the commanding officers and deputies of each team, with Mary and Lena.

They both look sympathetically at him as he walks out. He is trying his hardest to keep his composure and not jump towards the computer and unplug it. Fortunately, he has enough self-control to not do that.

He leans back against the wall outside the team room, closing his eyes for a while to steady himself. When he opens them again, he sees some agents outright getting out of the building with only a handful staying near the team room. The ones who stay in the hallway cross their arms on their chests, also leaning against the wall and uncomfortably avoiding eye contact, especially with the rest of 1056.

He tries to distract his mind from the imminent moment that the footage has to be played again, looking at the doors to the med bay instead. He is hoping that the part is too damaged to be accessed at all. Alas, after waiting a while until he thinks his prayer is answered, he eventually hears whirring from the inside, clacking of keys, and a long moment of silence before he hears loud gasps.

"Oh god."

"Jesus Christ!"

"I can't... I can't see this."

"Can we make it quick, please?"

"Oh, fuck. I'm... I'm sick."

He doesn't recognize the voices, so he assumes they're from the Tactical Intelligence agents. Mark closes his eyes again with wave of cold washing over him, somewhat feeling nausea at the implication of what's being seen inside.

Even highly trained agents who are supposed to be steady in the face of dangers can't help being horrified by it.

The agents around him also appear horrified, looking up to stare at the door. He supposes only hearing partial information without knowing exactly what's going on will make their imaginations run wild. It’s probably worse the longer it takes for the people inside to just… come out and give any news.

The clock is ticking, and the people inside are now growing quiet, but still, it offers no reassurance. It doesn’t feel like a good silence.

Eventually, some agents who are milling around in the hallway choose to stand up to leave. Mark can only guess what the reason is: either bored, impatient, driven with the feeling of urgency to prepare for battle, or unwilling to bear witness to whatever bad news the people inside are going to bring them.

Or maybe all of them.

Mark still cannot make himself walk away, so he keeps witnessing one agent after another walking away, including the rest of his own team. At one point, Luke looks at him, then nods to him in question, offering Mark to leave with him so that he doesn’t continue getting haunted by the agonizing wait. He shakes his head, so Luke sighs and leaves without him.

There are still a handful of agents in the hallway, talking in low voices to one another, but mostly to fellow agents in their own teams. Mark and Anderson now are the only ones left from his team, and they choose not to converse.

He shoots up to stand from leaning against the wall once the door creaks open. He sees Agent Landau standing on the doorway, and she looks pale.

“I’m sorry, but the inspection is going to take a while,” she says with firm voice she is obviously trying hard to maintain, “so I would suggest moving everything in this room that you might need to somewhere else because…”

She gulps and shortly closes her eyes, clearly no longer able to hide that she is shaken.

“Well, we’d rather have the room exclusively for our work in inspecting 1056’s informant’s broken laptop.”

There is some unsaid understanding that Mark sees in some of the other agents, while the rest simply furrow their eyebrows but seem accepting. Mark hazards a guess that they think it’s for technical purposes—that Tactical Intelligence might need the whole room to themselves so that they can work efficiently.

“You can move all tools and things you need inside to another area,” she adds again, now back to firm and impersonal voice.

Some agents who stay around ask her if they can call for the rest of their teams, the reasoning being to help determine which things they will need and then move them to another convenient place. She simply says yes and walks in again while closing the door behind her.

***

(I) (II) (III) (IV) (V) (VI) (VII) (VIII) (IX) (X) (XI) (XII) (XIII) (XIV) (XV) (XVI) (XVII) (XVIII) (XIX) (XX) (XXI) (XXII) (XXIII) (XXIV) (XXV) (XXVI) (XXVII) (XXVIII) (XXIX) (XXX) (XXXI - END)

[mazelikedays]

2022 Year Ender

Currently Listening to: Yoasobi - Gunjou Location: Dubai, United Arab Emirates Mood: Kinda chill If you see the picture, then you’ll see me at the bottom left. Finally, a Weiss Schwarz BCS Top 8 spot! On a side note, apparently my livejournal account is still alive, and I discovered my year end posts from 2006 are still alive. So I have been doing year end posts for the past 16 years. Kinda scare to read the earlier ones, since they’re likely cringey stuff. Anyhow, let’s do the 2022 edition of my year ender report! 

1. Last year, I was talking about COVID. Funny enough, I ended January 2022 with contracting the COVID virus. It just felt like a flu honestly, and I was working from home 2 days after. Thankfully though by the time of writing it was more or less dying down (except in China I think) and most countries have opened up.  Hopefully it finally becomes endemic this 2023, but then again most countries don’t care anymore as long as you are vaccinated.

2. A year came by, and I’m still here in Dubai. It’s not bad honestly, a few things happened here and there (like work from home due to my COVID stint, then having an issue with a crappy client who left months later), but overall it’s chill. I’m also getting an increase on January, which is some nice news. However, I still feel I can go elsewhere. I tried going back to Singapore, but unfortunately the job prospects there wasn’t that good. I actually got frustrated when I wasn’t able to get a job there around March/April. But then, something came up and now I’m gunning to go to either Canada or Australia, whichever invites me first. I have submitted my requirements for Canada and I’m still waiting for my final assessment for Australia, so let’s see. These things take time, but hopefully before July there would be some significant news. I’ll also try to apply to increase my chances.

3. Travel wise, I was finally able to go out of the country again as COVID restrictions got relaxed. I started the year with going to Bahrain, though unfortunately after the trip I got COVID. And then in May I was finally able to go back to the Philippines after 2 years, catching up with a lot of my friends. I was even able to go to places like Mindoro and Boracay. It was a fun and busy month for sure! Funny enough, I went to the Philippines again last October to play for WS BCS, and finally went to Singapore again this December. 

4. TCG wise, speaking of Singapore, I finally got a Top 8 placement this year! I won in the WS BCS Singapore Regional. I won using my Tokyo Revengers Dual Lane Pah-Chin deck! Finally, after playing for 8 years, I finally got a top spot! Unfortunately, I didn’t go past that as my deck decided to not cooperate, hehe! I also played in Manila last October but unfortunately lost to the guys who went Top 1 and Top 8 as well. For next year, I’m hoping to go higher and also to participate in the WS BSF in Manila so I can finally play an official team tournament major!

5. In terms of my weight, I got off to a good start. I was able to go as low as 79kg, the lowest I had since probably after childhood. Stress and non-activity though kinda made me gain weight, and going to Singapore pretty much made me fat. Now I’m at 85kg, so I finally bought weights and a stepper so that I can burn calories even if my place is small. As for cooking, I haven’t cooked new stuff lately, mostly repeat dishes. I also got lazy posting food pics and I had to cram a lot in a post recently. Hopefully the goodies I got from SG will motivate me to cook new dishes! 

6. Anime, Manga and Pop Culture stuff.

I think for anime and manga, this was the reverse of last year. I watched more anime and read way less manga. I think the reason for this is that a lot of the manga I have been reading have ended this year.  As for sumo, I’m still pretty much into it, and it was fun to see new winners. I felt the sumo season ended pretty weird though, with only Takakeisho left as Ozeki, and Abi winning out of nowhere, albeit in a kinda off manner. There’s a lot of up and coming new talent though, and I’m excited to see them rise!

Currently Watching:

Gundam: The Witch From Mercury S1 Planning to Watch: Engage Kiss, Jojo: Stone Ocean, Tokyo Revengers S2, Tomo-Chan is a Girl, Danmachi S4 Part 2, Bofuri S2, maybe Ayakashi Triangle? 

Finished This Year:

Hataraku Maou Sama S2, Rising of the Shield Hero S2, Princess Connect Re:Dive S2, Kaguya-Sama: Love is War S2 and S3, Danmachi S3 and S4 Part 1, Made in Abyss S2, My Sempai is Annoying, Mushoku Tensei S2, Komi-San, Mieruko-Chan, Kimetsu no Yaiba S2, Isekai Shokudou S2, My Dress Up Darling, Tokyo Revengers S1, Love After World Domination, Lycoris Recoil, Overlord S4, My Stepmother’s Daughter is my Ex, Tensei Shitara ken Deshita, Bocchi the Rock

Unfinished Anime: 86, Ranking of Kings

Finished OVA/Movies:

Yuru Camp Movie, Josee, the Tiger and the Fish, Metropolis, Her Blue Sky, FGO Camelot 2, FGO: Solomon, Quintessential Quintuplets Movie, Macross Delta Zettai Live, Fate Kaleid Liner Movies 1-2, 

New Manga Read:

Spy X Family, Ayakashi Triangle

Finished Manga: Tokyo Revengers, Dr. Stone Other Stuff Watched:

Movies: Eternals, Dune, How to Train Your Dragon 3, Rurouni Kenshin the Final, The Batman, Dr. Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, Thor: Love and Thunder, The Green Mile, 

Series: Trese, The Mandalorian, The Book of Boba Fett

New Games Played: Mainly just playing Mahjong Soul and Pokemon TCG. I actually tried Tekken 7 and FF14 but didn’t feel going all out. Also played Wordle until like a few months ago.

8. Fulfilled (or not) Wishes a. Hoping to go back to SG again. - I did, but only as a tourist. I’m aiming for somewhere like Canada or Australia now. My friend will go to the UK soon so I’ll check that out as well. b. A Significant Other - I tried last Valentines Day. Miserably failed. Will put this on hold until I can go emigrate elsewhere c. Get Healthier – It was going pretty well the earlier months, but certain events made me gain a good amount of weight as well.  d. Travel more - I was able to travel to Bahrain, then went back to PH and SG. I would like to travel to either somewhere new, or in Japan again as well. e. For this COVID-19 nightmare to finally end. - It’s pretty much normal already at this point, just waiting for COVID to get endemic status.

New Wishes:

a. Get Healthier - Need to get my weight loss back on track. Hopefully new equipment will work out in my favor b. Get to emigrate elsewhere - Canada seems to be the most likely now, I sure hope there’s some news soon before July. Will check out elsewhere too that is nice and has a WS TCG community. c. Travel to new places - It’s kinda unlikely unless it’s already like Canada or Australia, but I would like to go to somewhere new. Let’s see. I’m also gonna camp to Hatta for the new year. Before I leave Dubai, I sure would like to go to Jebel Jais and do the skydive as well

d. TCG wise - Hoping to finally play in a teams tournament, and get more Top 8 or higher placements. If I can get an invite to worlds and if it’s gonna be in Japan, the better!

Oddly enough, I don’t have much else to wish for, maybe just for good health for me, my family and my friends. Typing this now because I’ll be camping tomorrow in Hatta! Anyhow, till next year!

[caseyqdilla]

My MS Journey

Hello again! This isn’t a fic like I’ve been posting lately, but I wanted to post about the process that led to my diagnosis. I want to post this not only for myself, but for anyone else that may be going through this as well to hopefully shed light on the process from a perspective that people can relate to better. Being that I would look up what things were that I didn't understand or wanted to know the process beforehand I was usually met with the medical terminology; as smart as I am, when it comes to this kind of stuff I would just prefer it to be in laymen's terms.

So I hope this helps someone that is going through the same thing that I went through. I'm always happy to answer questions to the best of my ability, I will also add a few parts to this as well so it isn't too terribly long.

Sending you love and positivity, the journey is scary but you can do this! You're a badass!

Warnings: mentions of medical procedures, blood mentioned (in the capacity of it being drawn for testing), vision loss/low vision, and anxiety/fear are mentioned.

I hope this has helps someone that may be going through this experience as well. If you have any quesitons concerning MS, understanding your diagnosis, or the process of being diagnosed please reach out to a medical professional. My experiences are only meant to serve as peer support so you can understand the process from a perspective of someone that has already gone through these procedures.

While I haven’t been diagnosed with MS very long, I do have some things that I’ve learned are associated with it. Some are temporary, but there are a few that I’ve come to terms with the very real possibility that it’ll be permanent. The main one that’s been a hinderance that has not been one to go away is Optic Neuritis, for those that don’t know (because I was definitely one that didn’t) Optic Neuritis is swelling of the optic nerve. It sounds painful, but my experience it hasn’t been; it’s mainly been an inconvenience more than anything. There’s things that I used to be able to do that I no longer can or if I do, I have to be extra cautious whilst doing so. It started slow, I was doing haunted tours in Savannah, Ga where I would be able to walk around and tell the history of the beautiful city and make it fun. I noticed that it was more difficult to see out of my right eye when it was dark, it was almost like when there was no light I was basically blind in my right eye; which losing my vision is one of my biggest fears. Since I wore contacts all the time I just thought maybe I needed to take a break from that and wear my glasses, but when it didn’t subside I knew it was time to bring it up to my doctor, hopefully they’d just tell me to not wear my contacts for like a week or two then I’d be cured; wishful thinking on my behalf.

When I went to my primary physician and told them the symptoms the best I could, it’s really hard to describe when you don’t know exactly what’s happening or have any kind of inclination of what it may be. She recommended that I go see a neurologist, which made me super nervous; it made everything feel more serious as I booked an appointment with them. so began the waiting game unfortunately since they were so far booked out, but they had a cancellation so I got in earlier than anticipated. Which made me feel a little better knowing that I would hopefully get answers sooner rather than later. Little did I know, it was just the beginning of a long process a process that I thankfully didn't have to go through alone; knowing my family would be there for me no matter what the outcome would be.

Now there aren't many things that give me genuine fear, anxiety yeah of course; I'm an anxious bitch, but when I found out that Optic Neuritis is a symptom that is commonly associated with MS, I was terrified. All the thoughts I associated with a disease like MS bubbling to the surface and just stayed on my mind all the time as I waited for a test that the neurologist wanted to perform to try to rule out MS.

The very first thing the neurologist had me do was to get an MRI done, which for me meant that I had to prepare for it. What I mean by that is that I had to go and get retainers put in for most of my piercings cause I was afraid of them closing up if I simply took out the jewelry. It's not the worst test, unless you're claustrophobic, which if you are and you have a good team doing your MRI they will give you ways to prepare for it beforehand so that you won't be too uncomfortable. The worst thing for me was the cage they put your head in since they were needing to do a scan of my head.

So the results came back and normally if they're not bad then you get a call just saying, "Hey they're normal so followup in like a month or whatever." (Obviously they're not going to talk to you like that, but you get the picture.) However, I got a call to schedule an appointment to go over my results. He told me that they saw white spots on part of my brain, but I also have a piercing (it's a dermal on my right cheek below my eye) on that side that I was unable to remove so they had to do another test to make to further eliminate or confirm the diagnosis he was suspecting.

The second test that I had to do first was called a provoked potential test, without going into all the medical terminology (because lets face it, I'm not a doctor and will 100% get all that crap wrong). Basically it's a test where you get sensors attached to your head, there's something else they put on you but for the life of me I can't remember what it was, and you have to watch a center focal point on the screen and whenever you see something you push a button on the remote they give you. (Again I could be remembering this wrong and I apologize if I do, I promise you the test sounds daunting cause of the long ass name, but it is quite literally probably the most boring medical test you can take aside from the ADHD test you take at a psychologist's office.) I wanna say I was there for about 2 hours I know they had to redo parts of it a few times cause my hair kept getting in the way and throwing off the sensors.

The last test after that was a lumbar puncture, also quick side note, most of these tests come with a complimentary blood test with them, so there's that too. Also, you can't drive yourself to the test and you can't drive I think it was either 12 or 24 hours after the procedure until the puncture they have to make essentially closes up, they'll tell you all the side effects that are possible as well as precautions, but just so you know especially if you're someone like me that prefers to do things alone. (However, I am extremely happy that my mom went with me because she eased my anxiety so much, just knowing that she was in the other room. They won't let anyone in there with you since its a sterile environment.) So after I got my blood drawn for what seemed like the millionth time, I had to lay on a motorized table so they can adjust for the height, angle, and whatever else they may need to perform the test. Before I got on the table I had to take off my shirt along with my sports bra, and pull my pants down so they access to the base of my spine without me having to get completely nakey (cause it was cold af in that room). You're given one of those flimsy hospital pillows to get as comfortable as you can. Once you're comfortable and they adjusted the table, they'll clean the area with what I assume was iodine given the color that it was on his glove. After the area is clean, they'll go ahead and numb you, I don't think they used an IV or anything; I'm pretty sure it was just a syringe of anesthesia I tried not to pay attention and spoke to the nurse that was in there with me to assist during the procedure the entire time to keep my mind occupied. Much like any procedure when you're needing to be numbed or given any kind of local anesthetic to numb the area but stay awake they'll tell you if you feel any sharp pain to let them know so that they're able to administer more and keep you as comfortable as possible. Sometimes though when you're experiencing something new, your body won't know the difference between pain and pressure; so if you feel anything that makes you nervous or uncomfortable just let whoever is performing the procedure know and normally they will ask you to describe the sensation as best you can so they can better determine 1) where to put more numbing or 2) if you're feeling the sensation of pressure as you're experiencing something new. Once that's all figured out and you're all prepped, they'll insert a guiding tool to allow them access to your spinal column to extract the spinal fluid they'll be testing.

Once they get what they're needing, you'll be patched up, it's like a gauze and surgical tape they put over the opening that they had to create to get the fluid. After you're all patched up they'll give you the instructions letting you know that you essentially can't do a whole lot for the next 12-24 hours until the puncture closes up for fear of some of the fluid leaking out and causing unwanted side effects such as migraines (I can't remember the other ones honestly.)

Then just like the other tests, it's a waiting game once again. Waiting for the results to come back and see if you have the antibodies that are present in MS patients. If you are going through this, I hope and pray that your results are negative; if they're positive though just know that there are some resources out there for you, should you need them.

In conclusion, I fell like I'm writing an essay for a lit class with that start haha, my results came back and I do have those antibodies that are present in MS patients. So after that I was officially diagnosed with MS in November last year. Yeah it was scary, but I think not knowing and things getting worse would have been even scarier.

I would just like to reiterate that if you have any quesitons concerning MS or understanding your diagnosis, please reach out to a medical professional. My experiences are only meant to serve as peer support, so you can understand the process from a perspective that has already gone through these procedures.

[thenightling]

The Invitation (second viewing)

I just re-watched “The Invitation” and upon a second viewing I have to say this is genuinely the best Vampire film I’ve seen in years.  Definitely the best vampire film I’ve seen since 2008′s Let the Right One In.  

My only qualms are 1. How young the actor is who plays Dracula but during the confrontation near the end you do see him age a bit after being wounded so his age is dependent on how well fed or “healthy” he is.  He might have deliberately chosen an excessively youthful form to seduce his new bride.  And the actor does such an amazing job that I start to forget that I considered him too young for the role.

And 2.  There’s one scene with a flickering light effect, which is cliché today to build tension but is ultimately annoying and potentially harmful to epileptics.   Thankfully it’s not an excessively long scene.

If you like traditional Gothic Horror this is definitely the right film for you.  It has everything you could want.  It’s extremely low budget but very atmospheric.  There’s great musical scoring, lighting, and gorgeous set designs. 

It feels almost like an old Hammer Horror movie if not for the presence of DNA kits, Smart Phones, and night gowns promoting the TV series Outlander. There’s a genuine timeless quality to this film. There are aspects of it that remind me of Crimson Peak.    You start to welcome the tropes because we’ve had so many vampire films that “deconstruct the cliches” that they feel fresh and new for lack of use.  It felt so good to see these things in use again after so long.   

Though you can tell their budget was limited they managed to keep all of Dracula’s traditional powers in tact and there’s heavy indication that yes, he does turn into a bat and wolf in the story.  So many film makers with a limited budget would just leave out the shapeshifting all together.     

It’s romantic, spooky, and yes, they actually managed to make Dracula a bit scary.  He’s suave and charming but also predatory and menacing- precisely how Dracula should be.   

This is a really under-rated movie. And as far as Sony vampire films go I actually prefer this to the year’s earlier vampire film, Morbius- which I actually did NOT hate.  He was just as cheesy as his comic book counterpart but much like his comic book counter-part Dracula kicks his ass...

I loved this movie.  I haven’t liked a new horror film this much since Trick ‘r Treat and I haven’t liked a new vampire film this much since Let the Right one In. That should give you an idea of how long it’s been since I was impressed with a new monster movie.

Also this is the best live-action version of Dracula I’ve seen in years.  My favorite recent depiction of Dracula was the one in Netflix’s Castlevania.   The last live-action Dracula I truly liked was...  hmm... Well, it really has been a while since I saw a really good live-action Dracula.  And I wasn’t really a fan of the recent BBC version.   Perhaps if I do not count the Frank Wildhorn stage musical version of Dracula, the last live-action version of Dracula I liked was the one in the TV show Da Vinci’s Demons.  

For anyone curious my absolute favorite depiction of the old count is in Fred Saberhagen’s Dracula book series, that I only read for the first time in 2011 and fast realized I liked a great deal better than Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles.  

I want to see more films like The Invitation.  I want The invitation to get a sequel in the style of Hammer’s Dracula movies. I want to see Dracula continue to pine for and stalk Evie who has become a full-fledged vampire hunter / monster hunter.  I want this franchise to continue, damn it!

[nixiemcretro]

GAHT Blood Test Results February 2024

A few milestones have been achieved this month. I’ve reached my third month of gender affirming hormone therapy (GAHT) and was able to get an estradiol implant (200mg, compounded). I kicked pregabalin as it wasn’t helping with my anxiety symptoms – but was helping with sleep… I also ceased indometacin successfully. Hemicrania continua is not being so continua now.

My phosphates, calcium and ALT levels. Ahhh yes. Let’s start with the ALT. My ALT was easy to fix, cease indometacin. I also took some milk thistle to help keep the old liver in tip top shape – with interesting consequences. I’ll circle back to this one later!

Phosphates and calcium, I do wonder if this is actually a bad thing to have lower numbers on these. A ionised calcium test was ordered and found to be in range, but so were my other calcium stats – this time. I’d only changed my calcium vitamin to a non-plant-based formula as I don’t get much calcium from milk. i.e. I don’t drink milk. End result – calcium levels are OK for now.

Now phosphates are in everything, it should be difficult to ingest this in low amounts. Thankfully, I have a good history owing to low blood iron and phosphate levels were ordered as a complementary test most of the time. Using this data we can see that I tend to be on the lower side of things. But since starting GAHT, record new lows. Some potential answers could be here and here.

My theory is either my spirulina (cyanobacteria) infused multivitamin is causing lowered calcium and phosphate levels leading to improved bone density. This could perhaps explain the historically lower phosphate levels as I’ve taken this particular multivitamin for a few years now. Then we have this (potato) gem from the second article.

Estrogen therapy (ET) is associated with lower serum calcium and phosphorus concentrations and is known to increase bone mineral density (BMD).

Estrogen and progesterone are very good at not causing osteoporosis. Menopause is a great example of what happens when hormones are absent and why hormone replacement therapy exists for older assigned female at birth (AFAB) people. This puts my mind at ease and we’ll be rechecking in three months.

Oh iron, sweet, sweet iron. I mean each blood test takes five vials of blood? I’ve given up on blood donations so we can rule that one out and it’s nothing cancer-related so… diet? To keep my ferritin (iron stores) up I’ll be taking 210 mg of elemental iron every other morning one hour before food. This maximises absorption as hepcidin, the enzyme that tells the iron to stay or go, is still sleepy.

Of course vitamin C can override this too if daily dosing was needed. As my levels haven’t reached critical yet, and I don’t enjoy the undesirable GI side effects of iron therapy, every other day gives me roughly half the issues! 😅

Onto hormones! Errrrr… why did prolactin double and zip outside the reference range in the space of two months. The GP wasn’t sure why and the endocrinologist said it’s not an issue unless it’s triple that number. I had a peek into some literature and pregnant women can have this level between 1000 and 8000 mIU/L. Remembering that pregnant women are not going to have those levels forever.

So what caused mine to spike? I believe it might have been the milk thistle I was taking to fix that pesky liver up from the indometacin damage. Information here, here and here. This has been ceased now so it should drop back within the reference range next blood test. Hold up, I was just reading this again.

In animals, milk thistle has been shown to stimulate bone mineralization. However, how it affects humans is currently unknown.

Hmmm, I wonder if my calcium and phosphate levels will also increase on next blood test without milk thistle supplementation. Something to look forward to as I was only on milk thistle for two weeks.

Ahh yes traditional sex hormones. One of the more interesting to look analyse. Keep in mind that all my blood tests are done in the trough – which should indicate the lowest concentrations.

On 6 mg oral estradiol valerate (2 mg thrice daily) and estradiol gel (Sandrena brand estradiol 0.1% gel 1g sachets twice daily) I scored a lovely 764 pmol/L. Previously with pill therapy (6 mg) it came in at 364 pmol/L. So a decent jump for just a bit of gel. Good result, so good in fact, I now I have two pellet implants (100mg each) in my left buttock for 200 mg of estradiol. It will be interesting to see how that stabilises over the next three months as they can fluctuate a bit early on.

On the progesterone (P4) front, folks tend to take it after being on estradiol for around 12 months. My endocrinologist doesn’t see any issue with starting it earlier. In AFAB puberty, estradiol peaks before progesterone even appears on the scene. Then again I am not exactly AFAB, so past performance may not be indicative of future performance.

For me, I see progesterone a counterweight against what is intended to be high-dose estrogen. With progesterone in the mix my skin is less dry which was one of my biggest gripes about estrogen monotherapy.

At least one of the metabolites produced, allopregnanolone, is a neurosteroid that acts on the GABAnergic system when taken orally – in a good way, I think. Interestingly enough in a similar way to alcohol, benzodiazepines and even to a lesser degree, pregabalin. Lesser degree in that pregabalin doesn’t touch the GABA receptors themselves, and instead mess with other systems that have a flow on effect to the GABAnergic system.

Oh I could ramble on for days about this sort of thing. Let’s look at the level itself. 9.1 nmol/L. Alright, that’s in the trough still so that’s quite good. Last dose would have been 12 hours ago. It puts me somewhere between pre-ovulation and mid-cycle. I have since doubled the dose on my endocrinologists recommendation.

There are other routes of administration (ROA) for progesterone, butt (ha!), my current compounded powder (200mg twice daily) is not compatible. I would need to purchase the non-compounded version to do that, and it’s not on my radar at this point in time as it is quite expensive.

Converting my 9.1 nmol/L to a US-friendly unit of 2.6 ng/mL helps locate where I am on these charts, you can see where I fit in. You’ll also maybe note that progesterone via the rectal ROA results in markedly different levels of progesterone, allopregnanolone and pregnanolone.

Which leads us onto finasteride which is a 5-alpha reductase inhibitor (5ARI). It stops this particular enzyme (5-alpha reductase) from doing what it wants to do. This is primarily used to stop testosterone (T) conversion to Dihydrotestosterone (DHT).

For assigned male at birth (AMAB) people, DHT gives you the gift of male pattern baldness provided you have the correct set of genes. As a transgender woman, I don’t really want to be bald if I can avoid it. So I started taking finasteride early on. However progesterone and finasteride both inhibit the 5-alpha reductase enzyme. And the finasteride, as it turns out affects a little more than just the 5AR enzyme.

Remember our little friend allopregnanolone from earlier? Blocked. What about isopregnanolone. Blocked. Finasteride is really quite a dirty drug with lots of off-target activity.

I’ve deemed it as unnecessary for the same reason I don’t take any testosterone blockers, such as cyproterone acetate or spironolactone. We’re going for estrogen dominance here. Women do have testosterone, but it isn’t the dominant sex hormone.

It is unclear if there is any added benefit to taking one of these medicines once your testosterone levels have been reduced into the female range through the use of other blockers.

The science behind it all is always a work in progress. But for now let’s keep that key phrase – estrogen dominance; the female hormone range, at the front of our minds.

If the presence of DHT makes male pattern baldness progress… what happens once I cease finasteride, will it also resume? Well, that’s where the next set of blood results come in.

Oh there it is, estrogen dominance achieved! Testosterone levels in AFAB have a reference range of less than 2.0 nmol/L (pre-menopause). And there I am sitting pretty at 1.1 nmol/L. My sex hormone binding globulin (SHBG) is heading up and up. I can’t find the document I had, I am sure it said above 115 nmol/L can result in estrogens being bound. In lieu of that article, from Wikipedia.

The relative binding affinity of various sex steroids for SHBG is dihydrotestosterone (DHT) > testosterone > androstenediol > estradiol > estrone. DHT binds to SHBG with about 5 times the affinity of testosterone and about 20 times the affinity of estradiol.

So having a high SHBG level is a good thing, the higher the better. Bind all the sex hormones so they can’t be used – male ones are lost first, then the female ones. That means goodbye any DHT generated by the mere 1.1 nmol/L of T.

The calculated free testosterone being below 25 pmol/L is also a great sign things are heading in the right direction. This is why testosterone blocking isn’t required for me. I really do enjoy delving into this sort of data and getting a better understanding of what it all means. So that’s it for now. I look forward to my next set of results sometime in May. 🙃

https://mcretro.net/blood-test-results-february-2024/

[thegraygardens]

23/10/28

I’ll be honest… I haven’t been doing all too well honestly.

Today was a “meh” day. It was very hot in the building and thankfully I was moved to an easier department where compared to my home department has little movement (despite standing for twelve hours). The heat was ridiculous in the building, especially since my main department is heavily speed and psychical activity based; I was sweating so bad and it was so horrible. But at work, we had a very big meeting with everyone in the building for the weekend shifts and it was pretty mediocre announcements. However, they did standing ovations for employees and how it works is people are nominated by coworkers and the supervisor chooses who’ll get it (normally 4 per department from what I’ve seen today). However, our supervisor awarded no one with any ovations and also didn’t show up to work.

I myself am a very active and good worker in my department, I’m always exceeding expectations and meeting said expectations. I do a lot of work to where at times it feels like I do the work of ten people with how often they seem to rely on me to where it seems ridiculous. I have been told by a group lead that I was one of the best there in the department and know for sure I would have received an ovation.

I’m not upset about not receiving basically a shoutout and a five dollar gift card, no, but it is very disappointing because these ovations are meant to highlight the people who make a difference in the work place and a way to say thank you to them. Fellow coworkers and I that are also very skilled with our jobs were very upset with this, we obviously couldn’t exchange words with our supervisor because she did not come in today. I believe it was intentional because she foresaw how we’d react, I just find it to be very careless and in poor taste considering her job is MUCH easier compared to my coworkers and I; hers is basically 24/7 computer and sedentary. I can’t imagine the social faux pas this will cause when she is at work again, she seemed to piss off all the good people there that can do their jobs very well. A big thing is we have others who do not do their jobs and are very inefficient, apparently the low numbers in productivity is threatening her status as supervisor with apparent words of being fired.

It’s all so trivial but… y’know? I work very hard for my money and my efficiency obviously has more eyes on me because my abilities are prevalent. To be unacknowledged and unappreciated in the work place for good work is very disappointing, and many other coworkers feel the same exact way and are very upset with this.

Ah.. forgive my rambling >_<”

It was just something that irked me today.

However, another thing that has bothered me at work is the fact an associate (believed to be one on the weekday shift) had committed suicide and no one has even acknowledged it. Not a word from any management, no moments of silence, and management apparently saying not to speak of them when people ask where this person is.

I have a problem with this as someone who has and is actively struggling with suicidal thoughts. It comes off as extremely ignorant, careless and inconsiderate.

I have had a lot of bad thoughts lately. I 100% need to boost my meds next appointment, my head has been a horrible and dark place. I might see if I can get something that has weight loss, my body dysmorphia has been so bad. I can’t love my body honestly. As someone who spends Friday-Sunday with extreme psychical activity, I haven’t noticed much loss and it’s very disappointing; especially with my self image issues which have been very rampant.

I really would love a flat stomach and to have a figure I can love and be proud of, I find my body gross and cover it up every chance I get. I’m not proud of it at all and it makes me feel horrible. Gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia together, ah… it’s hell honestly.

Thank you tumblrland for listening to my thoughts ^^