#and angry at each other. and being passive aggressive. and screaming over stupid things.

[arctic-hands]

My parents make better friends than they ever did spouses and like that was painfully obvious to me at age ten to the point I was pleading with god during my christian years by saying "I know divorce is a sin but I'll take the punishment if you let them divorce" but for whatever fucking reason they thought it was better for me to wait until I was eighteen to split and then they marvel at how all my romantic options just end up being friends and how lonely I am romantically

[ragingbookdragon]

All The Small Things...That Show How Incredibly Pissed She Is

Batboys x Reader HC/Imagine

Word Count: 1.2K Warnings: Explicit Language

Author's Note: Here's some humor for y'all at the end of the semester. Enjoy! -Thorne

Dick:

Dick wasn’t a fool. He might seem like that to some people, certainly anal-retentive supervillains and seasoned superheroes who weren’t particularly impressed by him, but even if he paraded a bit of thick-headedness (Batman’s influence) every now and then, Dick wasn’t a fool. And he sure as hell realized when she was angry at him.

Well, angry wasn’t the particular word. She wasn’t angry, and honestly, in the entire year they’d been dating, he’d yet to see what would even made her fume. But sure as shit, if she didn’t get annoyed at things, and right now, he knew it was at him. And really, the only reason he did realize it was because she didn’t stick a note in the thigh pocket of his suit before he left on patrol.

It was something foolish, she’d said when he came home and asked her about it the first time she did it. A simple little folded paper, the same kind that hung on their refrigerator for the grocery list. All it had said was, “Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee—good luck out there, Dickie!”. When he found it, he about busted himself at the seams from laughing so hard, but at the same time, he found it endearing that she had left it for him to find. That had been on a Friday night and every day of the week leading up to it, she put a piece of candy in his pocket, saving Fridays for the little notes. And this Friday he didn’t find a note—he knew she wouldn’t forget, and that was all the clue he needed that she wasn’t happy about something.

And so, to remedy it, he picked up a bottle of red wine and a dozen red roses—sue him he’s a romantic—ready to do whatever she wanted to fix what he’d messed up.

Jason:

He didn’t hate the color pink, but he didn’t wear it unless it was a particular occasion, or unless the shirt he liked was pink. Most of Jason’s outwear wardrobe consisted of black and blue jeans, dark and white shirts, combat boots, and leather jackets. His outfits screamed, “I’m the epitome of ‘Bad-Boy’.” And most of his leather jackets were dark, so he typically wore white or light gray shirts, so it didn’t blend.

They shared chores in the house—he cooked most nights, and she did laundry; they both cleaned the apartment. Jason looked in the dryer for a white shirt because it was white’s day the night before and found a whole load of white shirts that’d been dyed pink. Of course, at first, he thought it perhaps an innocent mistake, but when he pulled the load out and found a single red sock, Jason knew he was in the doghouse.

He pulled on a baby pink shirt and grimaced at how tight it felt on his body—so she was really mad because she must’ve washed these in hot water because they’d shrunk two sizes. The thought of asking what she was mad about crossed his mind, but he figured he’d be better off figuring it out on his own and fixing it rather than having her tell him.

Jason was a grown man; he could figure it out himself—the only bad thing was that Jason, in all his glory, was still a man—and boy did he have trouble telling what his lady was mad about sometimes. Ice-cream, he figured. Dutch Chocolate Ice-cream and bourbon was her go to when she was upset—hopefully, she wouldn’t throw his underwear in the wash before he got back from the store.

Tim:

He’d long grown used to being stared at, considering the fact that when he was a young child, and an academic prodigy at that, people liked to examine him like he was a lab rat. So, at first, her way of communicating that she wasn’t pleased with his course didn’t occur to him. Of course, when he finally turned his attention from his laptop screen and caught her cocked eyebrow and unimpressed look, Tim couldn’t stop the flush of crimson that split over the bridge of his nose as he babbled an apology.

She usually responded with a grunt of recognition, but it was anything but amused or interested. And he’d flash that dopey grin and kiss her knuckles until her eyes filled with humor rather than annoyance. And then he’d go back to his laptop and the process would start all over again when he finally realized she was boring holes in the side of his head.

The only time she wanted to prove she was mad at him was when she’d pull out her phone and do those stupid, “Which Member Of The Batfamily Are You?” and she’d do everything in her power to not get “Red Robin”, typically getting “Red Hood” because she knew it’d make his jealously bubble in his chest.

And then Tim would slam his laptop shut and toss her phone off the bed with it and yank her down onto his bed, coiling his arms and legs around her like a cage, while she giggled relentlessly and teased him about being “green with envy”.

So really, while it usually started with her being mad, it became a “How Much Can We Annoy The Other Before We Blow?” game—she was winning so far…much to his dismay…and love.

Bruce:

His wife was outspoken and independent, not ever once requiring help with any task. If she couldn’t figure it out herself, she’d cut her own foot off before asking him to do it for her, because she knew he took that little pride in doing what she couldn’t. Their marriage was built on a foundation of love, for each other, and for their family. But that third peg was absolutely competition, and by God they were gonna prove who was the winner before they both died of old age.

So, whenever she got mad at him for anything, it would be obvious that she would announce it—but oh no, see, when she got mad, she was passive aggressive about it and she waited for Batman to figure it out. And she typically showed her annoyance through clothing.

Her favorite way to piss Bruce off was to wear an emerald green t-shirt around the house that said, “My favorite superheroes wear green!” and the stupid graphic tee had Green Lantern and Green Arrow symbols all over it. And that sadisti—lovely witch did everything in her power to make him look at it—at her.

And Bruce knew her plan of showing her irritation was working because that maddeni—gorgeous smirk always crossed her lips when he glared—stared at her. He still didn’t know what she was mad about though. Her purpose only served to show she was upset with him—so much for the World’s Greatest Detective.

Unfortunately, Bruce knew the only way to appease her would be to submit to her the entire night and let her know that she was now in the lead for their competition. Darn…and he’d just leveled the score too, and now she was one ahead…again.

[wesokkasimp]

general zuko relationship headcanons

-hmm

-so i’m writing these for a post-war relationship

-don’t mind me projecting my crush on firelord!zuko

-this boy def doesn’t ask you out right away

-too nervous for that

-i know i said in my long distance h/c that he would propose right away, but that was for an established relationship

-if y’all aren’t already dating expect to be waiting a lil while

-once things have kinda… settled in the world? like it’s still rather unstable, but at this point most passive aggressiveness between nations is gone

-that’s when zuko would finally take some time for himself and his personal relationships

-if you had left the Fire Nation after the war to do other things, he may have realized he missed you more than the others

-and he missed you in a different way

-with the others he just missed interactions and the good times they had as team avatar

-and he missed that with you too

-but he also just kind of craves your presence

-your scent, your warmth, your touch, your voice

-he could probably sit in a room with you silently all day

-taking in the very essence of you

-because there’s just so much to take in

-when he realizes this, he doesn’t peg it as a crush at first

-zuko’s the guy that can read his friends and loved ones like a book but cannot decode his own feelings for the life of him

-poor kid :(

-he probably just pegs it as knowing you better than the others

-especially if you grew up in the Fire Nation

-ESPECIALLY especially if y’all grew up around each other

-but he starts to question his line of reasoning when you come to visit

-he hasn’t seen you since the southern water tribe drama

-and it’s been two or three years since then

-so you get off… the boat? idk wtf they use for transportation

-he’s waiting at the bottom of the harbor

-he knew when you stepped off the landing and he saw you for the first time in years

-he knew when all it took for him, a very focused person, to become distracted was you paging through a file of things for your work, a furrow in your brow

-when he can normally work through various natural disasters (the Fire Nation is an kind of an archipelago so i assume they get lots of hurricanes/tsunamis and stuff like that)

-THAT was when this boy finally came to his senses and realized he had a thing for you

-but him acting on it? that’s a whooooole different story

-HE’S SO SHY AND NERVOUS OMFG IT’S CUTE

-but it’s also a little annoying at times

-because for years he’s been loud and boisterous with you

-and now that he knows he has a thing for you he doesn’t know how to act

-you don’t catch on tho (thank god for him)

-like you know he’s acting different, but you don’t know why

-he knows you’re gonna figure out what’s going on if he doesn’t fix his behaviour soon

-so he keeps an air of normality around you

-but on the inside he’s still super shy and nervous

-zuko doesn’t have a ton of experience with relationships in general but especially romantic ones

-i don’t think he would’ve gotten with someone after mai broke up with him

-it took him a little bit to get over her, as seen in smoke and shadow

-he’s also a busy guy in general; not tons of time for dates

-iroh may have set up a few dinner dates but nothing substantial has grown from those

-so… in conclusion… king has no idea what the fuck he’s doing

-mai was a pretty special case as she was ridiculously low maintenance and showed zero emotion

-aka exactly like zuko

-i feel like them being so alike was probably one of the reasons their relationship didn’t work out

-like… i’m showing no emotion, you’re showing no emotion, i’m not gonna coax emotions out of you, you’re not gonna coax emotions out of me, we both bottle up anger at each other, ourselves, the world, etc, aaaand cue huge screaming match

-getting off topic whoopz

-since mai was so much like zuko, he had an idea of how to court her

-if he thought something sounded stupid, mai would probably think that too

-but it’s a different story with you

-you might have similarities to zuko but you’re not EXACTLY like him (if you are sorry but i had to make y/ns persona less generic)

-so… romantically? has no clue what the fuck you’re looking for in a relationship

-even if he knows you really well platonically, he thinks that doesn’t translate into romantic relations because he’s clueless ok

-so zuko decides on the subtle approach

-would he confess? no! of course not !!

-but do his touches tend to linger?

-does he let you catch him staring at you?

-is he suddenly very invested in the dating scene wherever you’re living?

-...yes

-and you’re not stupid, you catch on

-and… honestly, there’s no big confession from either of you

-things just sort of evolve on their own

-you end up staying in the Fire Nation a lot longer than you originally planned

-fun excursions that were once platonic turn more and more sensual and flirty

-pats on the back and high fives slowly become back rubs and hand holding

-but... HE STILL HASN’T ASKED YOU OUT

-at this point no one know what the fuck your relationship is

-friends? lovers? fwb? 

-no one can figure it out

-least of all you

-i wish i could make zuko super smooth and have this super romantic confession but that would be so ooc for him

-HE TRIES HIS BEST BUT ROMANCE IS HARD FOR HIM OK >:(

-what probably happened was he took you out to dinner

-and you’re tired of not knowing what you are to him

-so you’re like zuko? what are we to each other?

-and he has been DREADING this question

-he knew it was coming eventually

-and to be honest he’s not quite sure either

-he knows he likes you as more than a friend

-and he’s pretty sure you feel the same way

-so he decides to go out on a limb and speak his mind (finally omfg)

- “More than friends, I think. I mean, I think of you as more than a friend… I think you feel the same way? Or-”

-“Zuko, it’s fine. I like you as more than a friend too, but we don’t have to label ourselves right away.”

-the boy is RELIEVED

-it’s like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders

-he’s not the kind of guy that says “i don’t like labels” as an excuse to fool around

-even though you never really talked about it, it’s a silent agreement that you’re both exclusive

-so… i mean that’s basically dating 

-our boy just has commitment issues ok 😔

-eventually you start kissing him in the cheek

-when i tell you he was FLUSTERED when you did that the first time

-i honestly can’t decide if zuko hates pda or loves it 

-he’s touch starved, so idk if he really craves or is really hesitant to physical contact

-if it’s the former, expect hand holding, cheek/forehead kisses, him wrapping his arm around your waist, etc 

-even if he likes pda he keeps it professional

-if it’s the latter…

-the only consistent pda you’re gonna get is hand holding

-if ANYONE gives you shit for something like your socioeconomic status before you started dating zuko or if you came from somewhere outside the Fire Nation

-he will get annoyed and tell them off as politely as possible 🥰

-as for marriage…

-he wouldn’t really think it out that much if he was trying to decide if he wanted to marry you

-by the time he would be considering marriage, he knows right away that he does in fact want to marry you

-his PROPOSAL, however

-he definitely plans this big thing and then somehow messes it up after practicing it a bunch of times

-you still say yes ofc

-zuko is pretty dedicated to the Fire Nation, so he will most likely follow most traditional aspects of the Fire Lord and Lady’s wedding

-he’d integrate important wedding traditions if your culture if you’re from another nation

-married life would be pretty similar to pre married life

-he just gets to call you his wife now :)))

-so it’s canonical that people try to assassinate zuks

-like ALL the time

-he felt like he could handle it but once you moved in with him he started to become very worried :(

-so he beefed up the security around his quarters. even if you also have training in combat he just wants to sleep a little sounder

-hngh if y’all want kids that can be another post this is already kinda long

-that all folks :)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AHHHHH HI THESE ARE VERY LATE BUT THEY ARE HERE,,,,, anyways might have to turn off my inbox because,,, uh,,, very angry anti semites and zionists in there rn don’t really feel like getting death threats today

[evolutionsvoid]

Serpent of Hate, Guardian of the Wrathful River, Styx is one of five aquatic beasts that dwell in the rivers of the Underworld. Her territory is within the most famed river of this realm, both their names found upon many tongues in the mortal world. The two share the same winding body, slithering through the depths of the Underworld. In this twisting home, she spends all of her time patrolling its waters and shores, keeping an eye out for any who may intrude. Of all the rivers in the Underworld, hers is the one that receives the most warnings. It is not just the trapped souls who are told to avoid these waters, it goes to the regular denizens, guards and higher-ups as well. Do not even dip a single toe into this river, as it is a death sentence to any who violate it. As the regulars down below often say, "there is a reason no one else guards these shores." If one takes a dip or tries to cross this river to escape the Underworld, the wrath of this horrific serpent will come crashing down like a tsunami. The waters will surge and churn, as the massive creature barrels through the depths. All victims usually see is a wave of blue and teeth, then darkness. While all the other rivers of this realm are incredibly dangerous, there is a reason this one is most avoided. Of all the other beasts, she is the strongest by far. Her incredible length and muscly bulk makes her entire body a weapon. Charging through the waters at lightening speeds, she can strike an opponent with the force of a typhoon, obliterating ships and mortals, while sending more durable foes flying. Her length allows her to coil around larger foes and crush them with her powerful muscles, while a single whip of her tail can turn humans into a fine mist. Her raw strength alone makes her a terrifying enemy, but that is not the only weapon at her disposal. In fact, she has many, all which are presented in the form of razor sharp teeth. Styx is bristling with hooked fangs and sharpened teeth, sprouting from the various maws that line her body. All of these pale in comparison to the massive jaws upon her face, as they are large enough to swallow a ship. Simply opening this toothy chasm is enough to create a powerful vortex that sucks in water, fish, vessels and victims. If that whirlpool is not enough to capture prey, her throat is lined with a multitude of clawed tendrils, each eager to seize flesh and draw blood. They reach out like blind arms and strike like hungering serpents, dragging prisoners down into her cavernous maw. Waiting for those who fall in is another boney set of jaws, one that is more suited for slicing and chewing. The glowing hooked teeth on her face are mainly used to trap prey in her mouth, while these skeletal fangs are meant to shred them. It is said that this inner jaw is capable of biting through any material, be it mortal metal or heavenly armor. Everything is devoured and sent into the abyss of her gut, regardless if they are friend or foe. Even if one is lucky to avoid this massive mouth, the rest of her body is covered with hungering teeth, each ready to clamp down on any poor soul. Once the teeth sink in, crushing muscles will pull the victim into her body, where they will be dumped into her horrible stomach. It is said that there is no death within this organ, as victims are left to suffer in this excruciating pit of acid. The wretched fumes of this foul liquid awakens buried grudges and contained anger, turning prisoners into savage, crazed beasts. They will turn on the others trapped in her stomach, turning her body in a cruel and endless bloodbath. How long one must suffer in this pit of blood and poison is unknown, but a way out is known. Eventually she will vomit out unwanted things, be it trash, pardoned sinners or beings she wasn't supposed to eat in the first place. These refuse piles are found deep in the Underworld, as she is very specific on where she dumps her gut. These are foul and miserable spots, but some denizens may be seen rooting around in the filth to find interesting objects or bizarre valuables that wound up inside her.  The Styx is known as the River of Hatred, and there is no better beast to guard these waters than her. She is an incredibly angry and violent individual, constantly in a state of seething anger. She views this river as her territory and she refuses to let a single soul intrude upon it. Her insane aggression has her lash out at any beings who dare touch her water or try to cross it, regardless of their power or authority. Her senses appear to be fine tuned to this river, as she immediately knows when someone dipped their foot into it miles away. With her strength and speed, she practically teleports to the site of the offense and immediately goes on a rampage. Any who are in the water will be quickly devoured, while those on shore will be seized in her tendrils and fed to her grinding maw. Boats and dinghies are not safe from her wrath either, as she can also sense when an unwanted craft touches the surface. These vessels barely stand a chance against her, as she reduces them to splinters in moments. It is said that guards near this region of the Underworld turn a blind eye to souls that try to fashion ways of escape, as they get endless amusement from watching these fools be devoured. She doesn't seem to find it so fun, as she throws a tantrum when anyone treads her territory, even thrashing and screaming long after the last offender has been eaten. This hatred she embodies even seems to emanate from her, coming off in that strange blue glow. Those who gaze at any of her numerous lights will begin to grow irritated and frustrated. Their anger will rise with each passing moment, until they are blind with rage and throw themselves into the river to extinguish this infernal glow. Those who succumb to this spell rarely last a second in these waters, as her wrath is far greater than anything they could muster. This insane territorial nature goes with any body of water she inhabits, as she is just as furious with intruders when she winds up in the mortal realm. If she is somehow dumped into one of humanity's oceans, she will be on the warpath. Trading routes and fleets will be demolished, as she views every one of these vessels as a threat and an annoyance. Crowded waterways and popular beaches will turn into a feeding frenzy, as she swoops in to devour dozens with each gulp. While these appearances seem to be caused by random chance or cruel fate, some say Styx is actually tricked into entering the mortal realm by the rulers and denizens of the Underworld, who are desperate to be rid of her.

  Though she is a valuable guardian, it is well known that Styx is not a popular member of the Underworld. Her endless rage and furious nature causes her to turn on practically anyone. It is not an exaggeration when it is said she will attack anyone who disturbs her river. Guards, officials, rulers and even gods are considered enemies in her eyes, and she will throw herself at them if they dare make a single ripple. There are many stories of her causing chaos and destruction at inopportune times, especially since the river is a sacred site for ceremonies and pledges. Many oath swearings have been ruined when an audience member accidentally disturbs the waters and summons Styx and all her fury. There was also the instance when a certain guard dog decided to take a drink from the rushing river. It took hours to pull the two screeching creatures apart, as it was a tangled chain of bloody teeth and locked jaws. There are even rumors that the god of this very realm is not safe from her fury, as she refuses to acknowledge his divinity. It has been noted that he only crosses the Styx upon the ferryman's boat, which officials claim is for ceremonial purposes. Others secretly believe it is because there is no other way he can cross without angering the vile serpent. Even though she flies into a blind rage whenever any breathing creature looks at her funny, there are a scarce few beings that Styx tolerates. It seems that the ferryman is the only sailor that can cross her waters undisturbed, as she will never bring harm to his boat. At first it was believed that his vessel had some kind of protection or spell that warded her away, but further observation has shown that she is passive around this fellow. When he is crossing the river, she will be swimming close by, keeping close to her friend and also waiting to see if any fool falls from the boat. At times he may sit upon the shores of the river, and she may rest her head upon the sand for both company and comfort. Of all the beings in the Underworld, he is the only one who can seemingly rein her in. When she starts attacking a sacred ceremony or is trying to eat some divine guest, folks are quick to find the ferryman and bring him in to stop her. Styx also seems to begrudgingly tolerate the other river keepers, always grumbling and growling but never fighting. She does admit that their respective rivers are their territory, so she does not invade them without permission. She does also observe the great marsh where the five meet as neutral ground, she is just always cranky about it. Regardless, it has been seen or heard that Styx has some hidden fondness for the other river beasts. She has been seen watching Acheron's sadistic hunting techniques and appears to enjoy the show, though if anyone asks, she will say that Acheron is an immature child who is incapable of taking her role seriously. Cocytus is often seen as an grating annoyance, with Styx having no time for her wailing. Her singing and crying is met with shouts and demands for her to shut up. Styx often chastises her for being so emotional and not getting over these stupid worries. However, Styx has been seen being quite miserable after these cruel outbursts, often hiding away somewhere to stew in self-loathing. She knows quite well that Cocytus is not the only one plagued by emotions she cannot control, and she hates herself for inflicting this pain on another victim. While she may grumble about Lethe and her absent mind, Styx is able to find peace and calmness when bathing in her forgetful waters. When hanging close to Lethe, Styx is momentarily freed from her endless anger, giving her a rare chance to relax. When she is free from this influence though, she is quick to return to her rage, suddenly thinking that this was some ruse or trick to get her to drop her guard. As for Phlegethon, Styx says that the fiery beast is a constant source of irritation with her stupid dances and vain attitude. As a vigilant guardian, she believes Phlegethon has gotten the wrong job, as there is no time for extravagant shows and grand performances. The burning slug's ego and self-praise really gets Styx wound up, and every self-compliment that arises is met by biting insults and angered muttering. Though Styx often yells and mocks Phlegethon, the two have been seen together quite often. Styx insists its because the egotistical dancer is obsessed with getting her approval, which she will never give. However, the serpent is quite bad at hiding her enjoyment of these performances or when Phlegethon gives some subtle flattery. Styx would never admit such a thing, as the burning hatred that flows through her body makes such confessions difficult. Thankfully, it seems Phlegethon is aware of this curse, and sticks close with the fuming serpent in hopes of finally breaking through.     --------------------------------------------------------------------- And end it with a sea serpent! Excellent! That is the last of my Beasts of the Infernal River and boy was it a blast! I love these gals and Styx was a really fun one! This project was nice and easy for me, as there were only five this time! Now I must return to the hunt, to find the next big thing to chip away at. Hopefully I can find some other short ones, as it gets quite tough when I got to come up with ten or more unique designs for something!   This is also the end of Kaijune for me! Hope you guys enjoyed what I made! Now that I am done making monsters, I can get back to making monsters!

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

A Miraculous TikTok Account

Part 18

First

Previous

Next

The previous night, Chloe and Chat had been standing on the table, arms wrapped around each other as they screamed for the help of the other house members.

Rena, the only person home at the time, had run in. Her brown eyes were wide and frantic as she looked around for some kind of threat.

“What?! What is it?! Why’re you --?!”

“Roach!” Said Chat, his voice high. “Kill it!”

Instead of killing it like the two had hoped, she screeched and immediately jumped for the safety of the table.

Except… it was a table. And it definitely wasn’t made to hold the weight of three fully grown adults. It collapsed under their weight.

This wasn’t their main concern, though, because she sat up and looked around for the roach, only to find that it wasn’t where she’d last spotted it.

“Where did it go?! Who has eyes on it?!”

“Run!”

The three of them scrambled from the room as quickly as they possibly could, shoving each other around in attempts to be the first to the maybe-safety of the living room. They got up on the couch after brief scans to check for the roach and none of them relaxed until they were completely sure the roach hadn’t followed them into the room.

And then they all tensed up again because they realized what they’d done.

Ladybug and Carapace were going to kill them.

(Well, Ladybug was going to kill them, Carapace would just give them the Exasperated Dad Sigh and tell them how he wasn’t mad just disappointed which was WAY worse and --!)

“We’re screwed,” mumbled Chat, hugging his knees to his chest as tears threatened to spill from the corners of his eyes.

Chloe rested her head in her hands. “I just got back to normal after all the salsa, I can’t handle another one of their passive-aggressive punishments.”

There was a beat before the couch shifted. Chloe peeked through her fingers to see Rena was pacing around, trying to think.

“Listen, they can only get mad if they find out. Chat, you go out and see if you can find a new table. Chloe and I are going to try and see if we can fix it.”

They all looked at each other, considering their options. They figured it was better than nothing, might as well try.

He took a shaky breath to steel himself and then nodded. He got up and grabbed the envelope with their monthly allowance from Fu before beginning his mission.

The women were left to rebuild a table.

It… might have worked. They were using glue to try and make it harder to see and they managed to put all the pieces together in a way that made them look more or less like normal. Sure, there were a lot of cracks, but Ladybug and Carapace were sleep deprived pretty much at all times, they probably wouldn’t notice.

Rena set the centerpiece -- a vase of flowers -- in the center of the table and they held their breath as they waited for the table to break under the little weight.

It didn't!

They breathed a sigh of relief.

It collapsed.

Chloe stared at the pile that had once been their table. “Hopefully, Chat managed to find a table.”

“I’ll clean,” said Rena.

Chloe shook her head and waved her hands vaguely. This got a confused look from the other woman, but only for a few moments before a swarm of bees floated down the stairs and started working together to carry pieces out the open window and to the dumpster.

“... you’ve been able to help clean the house this whole time and you’ve never once offered.”

“Never bothered me before,” explained Chloe, grinning at the obviously annoyed miraculous holder.

Thankfully, Rena didn’t have enough time to strangle her properly before they heard Chat yelling for help getting the table inside.

They walked out and looked at the table and exchanged worried glances. It was obviously different, the quality of the wood was way better than the first table (who knows, this one might have actually been able to withstand all of their weights). The color was also slightly off, which wasn’t great.

“It was... the closest... I could find,” he said through pants.

Chloe wondered, vaguely, how far he had dragged it.

“They’re gonna know,” said Rena.

“They’re... not going to know,” argued Chat, though it seemed like he was only trying to reassure himself.

Rena pinched the bridge of her nose. “They’re going to know.”

“... how would they know?”

Chloe leveled him with a cold stare. “They have eyes.”

The three of them all looked at the table with dejected expressions before Rena snapped her fingers.

“I’ve got it: tablecloth. We need a tablecloth.”

Chloe took off in the direction of a store without another word.

~

They laid the tablecloth on top of the table and then set the vase down. This table didn’t break, it would have been weird if it had, but that didn’t stop the women from taking a step back before they sighed in relief.

They heard the doorknob jingle and Carapace curse outside as he fetched his keys and the three looked at each other with wide eyes.

Act natural.

They scrambled to the living room for the second time that night (or, rather, the second time in twenty four hours, since it was now daybreak). Chat booted up a game on the console. She grabbed the controllers. Rena took a seat on the arm of the couch and allowed a mischievous smile to grace her face (she’d been fighting it almost all day).

The impulse control stepped in and seemed to instantly figure out something was wrong…

But apparently patrols had tired them out, because they didn’t say anything as they went to join them.

~

Ladybug looked at the tablecloth for a few moments before she turned to give Chloe a questioning look.

Chloe sent her her brightest smile. “I thought it would look nice.”

The miraculous holder blinked.

“I… I suppose it doesn’t look bad…?”

“Of course not, I chose it.”

This pulled Ladybug’s attention away from the table, if only temporarily, and Chloe only smiled wider at the eyeroll she was sent.

~

Carapace raised his eyebrows as he picked up the envelope. He slowly pulled the money out and looked around at the unlucky pair who happened to be in the room.

She met Chat’s eyes. Had he really forgotten to put back the money for the table?

He gave her a sheepish smile.

She scoffed a little and then turned to look at Carapace, who had a shockingly calculated expression on his face as he looked at the money.

And then he sighed. “That was one expensive tablecloth.”

Chloe’s forehead beaded with sweat. Time to lean into her rich kid-ness and hope that was enough to convince him. “Is that so? I hadn’t thought it was that bad. Should I pay it back?”

He sighed again. “No. It’s fine, we have enough for the month, it’s just… talk to me before you buy anything? You, too, Chat. Both of you have no concept of money.”

They both nodded their understanding and Carapace left to go grocery shopping.

She relaxed, her head tipping back against the chair. They had gotten away with it.

~

Chloe hummed as she considered the two video ideas.

The first video was the edited down footage of when she’d gone shopping with Rena and Ladybug and all the dumb things people had said to them while they thought they were cosplayers. It was a fun video and she was actually kind of proud of it.

The other was a video of her calling people out for the dumb things they did. It was on brand and what she was going to devote her entire account to it, because Parisians had… let’s call them ‘interesting’ thought processes. (Also, she liked calling people stupid. Sue her.)

She drummed her fingers on the keyboard as if they would type out an answer for her, then reluctantly came to her conclusion: she should make her debut video representative of her account so people knew what they were signing up for when they followed her.

… but she would also upload the ‘cosplay’ video the next day. For fun.

~

Time to film.

Chloe rested her head on her hand, glaring at the camera.

“Hey, Paris. Queen Bee here to call you out because none of the people I live with have the balls to do it.”

Her lip barely twitched at the quiet whine of protest that Rena made, but apparently she didn’t care enough to look up from her cleaning.

“Listen, if you’re scared of walking home alone and you happen to see one of us on patrols, wave us down. I know you’re all worried and you think it isn’t our jobs to help you, and you’d be right… if our jobs didn’t hinge on everyone in Paris being mentally stable.”

“We’d rather take a few minutes out of our days to walk -- or even carry -- you home than spend half an hour or more fighting you off as an akuma.”

“And, hey, if an akuma does happen to crop up we’ll take you to the nearest akuma shelter. One less civilian to worry about, right?”

She smiled now. “Stop being stupid. Thanks!”

She turned off the video and looked up to see Rena giving her an odd look.

Chloe scoffed and crossed her arms over her chest. “What? Are you surprised I’m a nice person...?”

The word ‘too’ died on her tongue.

Rena slowly shook her head. “I don’t think you’re nice.”

Oh. Okay. Ow.

An angry buzz started under her skin, but Rena held up a hand to stop her before she could say anything.

“Let me explain. I think you’re kind, but you’re not nice.”

Now it was Chloe’s turn to give her a confused look, the buzz lowering to a dull thrum. What does that even mean?

Rena was off cleaning another room before Chloe even thought to ask her.

~

The next video started out shaky because the phone hadn’t had a stable place to rest.

The camera focused until people could make out Rena, in her costume, talking to a person who’d been carefully blurred. The both of them were clearly excited about something, waving their hands around wildly as they spoke, but the cameraperson had to get closer for anyone to understand what they were saying.

“-- always wondered whether or not Queen Bee and Ladybug actually need the wings or if they’re just for show,” the stranger was saying.

“Too coordinated for it to be fake wings,” said Rena with a shake of her head. “They’re real. I wonder if they have to watch their weight to make sure they can still fly.”

“But then wouldn’t they be easier for akumas to hit around --?”

The camera panned to Chloe’s deadpan expression. “You can believe that Ladybug can create anything she wants with her yoyo but the problem is her wings?”

The camera cut.

Now the viewers were looking at Ladybug, who was smiling at what was obviously a little kid due to all the pink in her outfit. She had lifted the polka dotted red part of her dress up manually to reveal the shimmering wings in question.

“They’re so shiny! What’re they made of?”

Ladybug smiled and knelt down so the kid could reach out and touch her wings. “I’m gonna let you in on a secret --” The audio was temporarily muted to hide the name. “I’m actually Ladybug.”

“No way!” She yelled in her excitement. (Rena stiffened in the background.) “Are you really --?”

Ladybug held a finger to her lips. “Shhhh! It’s a secret, remember?”

The kid lowered her voice to what basically amounted to a stage-whisper. “Are you really Ladybug?!”

Ladybug smiled and nodded her head. “Yeah, but don’t tell anyone, okay?”

The girl gave her a salute.

The next few cuts were just Chloe taking pictures with people. Why was she doing that when their faces were blurred for privacy? Because her hair and makeup had looked really good that day and she was proud, dang it!

The next cut was to Rena and a new guy, though the viewers wouldn’t be able to tell until they heard a distinctly different voice:

“Your outfit is really good, but you got the shading wrong. The orange is lighter than that.”

Rena stared at him for five seconds, jaw slack, eyes wide. The next five seconds were spent opening and closing her mouth without sound coming out. And then she finally got a hold of herself.

“Okay,” she said, apparently too stunned to even be sarcastic about it.

The last cut had all three miraculous holders in frame, they were talking to someone offscreen.

“Who do you guys ship?”

The three of them had looked at each other awkwardly and then Rena’s face split into a mischievous grin.

“If we’re going on who has the most chemistry, I’d have to say QueenBug.”

A blush spread across Ladybug’s cheeks and she made a move like she was going to bury her face in Chloe’s shoulder before she thought better of it and rested her face in her hands instead.

(If anyone had noticed the steady warming of Chloe’s face, no they didn’t.)

The woman they were talking to sounded confused: “QueenBug? I always heard people calling it ChloeBug.”

Chloe tried not to laugh at Ladybug’s clear distress, but she couldn’t help but tease her a little bit. “ChloeBug? QueenBug? I thought it was LadyBee.”

Rena had no such reservations against laughing. “Whatever the ship name, it’s pretty popular.”

“Of course it is, they team up the most. And did you see that thirst trap prank video? If they’re not dating, I’d eat my shoe,” said the woman who had a shoe in her future.

Ladybug, who was still bright red but had gained back some of her functionality now, whispered: “I thought we were called The Lovebugs.”

The video zoomed in on the stunned faces of Rena and Chloe individually before cutting out.

~~~

Taglist

@nathleigh @sassakitty @th1s-1s-my-aesthet1c @blueslushgueen @woe-is-me0 @ladybug-182 @cas-and-their-refusal-to-write

[dazed--xx]

Useless

Request: Can you do a one shot were you fight and he says something that really hurt you bc you were insecure about that and then you act kinda distant and idk can it fluff and angst pretty please 🥺 I love your blog 💜(tae)

Summary:  “Maybe I wanted to have some time to myself for a change? Did you ever think about that? Maybe I didn’t want some clingy leach attached to my hip at every second of the fucking day... I finally wanted to be able to fucking breathe. Like damn I can see why your parents didn’t want you... you're fucking useless....” The foul insults like venom. Useless... He thinks you're useless...

Member: Taehyung x Idol!reader

Word Count: 2,276

Genre: Angst, light smut, light fluff

TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF ABUSE

A/N: Shout out to the reader who requested my first Tae one shot, hope you enjoy. I got some big things planned to come out so i hope yall follow make sure you check out my masterlist for other stories 

(Not my gif)

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“Y/N!!” Tae shouts from the living room finally acknowledging my presence for the first time today. Waking me from a dead sleep, that falling feeling startling. “Y/N!!!” His voice booming. Sluggishly, WHAT TIME IS IT?? 1:54 am the alarm clock reads I scream into the pillow and make my wake to the living room. The bright light blinding, Tae on the couch with Jungkook. “Yes?” the annoyance in my tone evident. “We’re hungry can you make us something please?” THE FUCKING NERVE!!!! I roll my eyes ��Did you speak to me for the last 16 hours?” confusion creeping onto his face at my passive aggressive attitude. Jungkook’s face contorts obviously uncomfortable. “I was just asking you to make us food, no need to be a bitch about it ill just order out” He snaps back “and by the way if you have something to fucking say then say it I don’t appreciate the off handed comments especially when you could have come to me as well and speak to me..” his eyes roll, Jungkook eyeing the door “WELL!.... this has been......fun. I'm gonna head out. Sorry Y/N didn’t mean to upset you” I smile at his friendliness. “Goodnight Jungkookie, I'll see you next time okay I'm sorry to make you feel uncomfortable.” I escort him out the door.  

Tae’s eyes fuming as I turn around. “Look what you fucking did! You made him leave all because of you’re stupid fucking attitude!” He shouts, throwing his controller on the ground smashing it. “You couldn’t just say you didn’t fucking feel like it instead of pushing my friend out the fucking door” fear creeping up in my body. Me and Tae have fought before but he’s never raised his voice like this. He’s never been THIS angry before. “Tae, I’m sorry but I was sleeping and-” “DOES IT LOOK LIKE I GIVE A FUCK ABOUT WHAT YOU WERE DOING?” his terrifying voice booming. Tears sting my eyes all my anger from the day boiling over as the confession spews out of my mouth “NO YOU DON’T BECAUSE YOU NEVER FUCKING CARE ABOUT WHAT THE FUCK I DO TODAY WAS A CLEAR INDICATION OF THAT NO? YOU HAVE A FUCKING DAY OFF AND YOU LITERALLY SPEND IT IGNORING ME AND PLAYING YOUR STUPID ASS GAME. I ASK YOU TO TAKE A WALK WITH ME AND YOURE TOO TIRED. I ASK YOU TO TAKE A NAP WITH ME YOU WANT TO BE UP. SO, WHAT THE FUCK IS IT HUH? SO, WHEN I FINALLY, FINALLY FALL ASLEEP YOU WANT TO FUCKING WAKE ME UP TO ASK ME TO COOK FOR YOU AND JUNGKOOK?????????”  

“Maybe I wanted to have some time to myself for a change? Did you ever think about that? Maybe I didn’t want some clingy leach attached to my hip at every second of the fucking day... I finally wanted to be able to fucking breathe. Like damn I can see why your parents didn’t want you... you're fucking useless....” The foul insults like venom. Useless... He thinks you're useless...

*10 YEARS AGO,*

“Y/N! YOU RUINED IT! IT WAS MY FAVORITE AND YOU BROKE IT!!” My older sister shouts, as her hand harshly cracks along my cheek. Tears stream down my face, “I'm sorry, I didn’t mean to...” I whimper. The mirror on the ground shattered like my heart, my sisters rough hand shoves me to my knees. Glass stabbing at my skin like a thousand knives, her hand in my hair. “CLEAN IT NOW!!!” Her shouting alerts my mother. “Y/S/N? What's going on?” My mother's soft voice asks as she comes into the room. “Tsk....Y/N what did you do now?” Annoyance in her tone, her eyes rolling. “She broke my mirror. She broke my favorite mirror....she's so useless mom why is she here she needs to go.” My sister whined.  

“Let her go, Y/N pick this up and come to my room...” the tone dark. Fear taking a hold of my chest. Whilst cleaning the mirror my sisters torture did not end glass penetrated my hand every time, she shoved me over as I held each shard with care. Dread fills me as the mirror is completely clean. Slowly, I trek to my mother's room my 12-year-old frame trembling as I stand in front of my mother's door heart beating threatening to burst out of my chest.  

“Y/N LETS GO NOW” my mother shouts from the other side of the door. The beating didn’t last too long the pain only temporary; the lecture lasted a lifetime the pain forever. “Why do you have to be so damn useless huh? It's like you enjoy ruining our lives, you never seem to do anything right and I'm so god damn tired of fucking covering for you. SO, you need to go, I don’t care where it is you go but it's not here. I want you out by tomorrow and don’t take none of that expensive shit that’s mine”. I was out within the hour, terrified of what may come if I lasted until tomorrow. Rushing out of the door at 3 am with all of my essential belongings in hand, with no destination in sight.  

Months go by living all around Seoul at parks, bus stations, motels when I get really lucky. Singing in the street to come up with a few dollars to eat. Some days I didn’t make enough and I would slip items in my clothes, becoming quite the “artist”.  One day, I’m singing in front of a small store front 2 gentlemen dressed lavishly listening intently phone recording as my verse comes to an end. Their eyes burning holes into me as a blush creeps up onto my face. The crowd disperses at the top of my hat a business card BIG HIT ENTERTAINMENT. Confusion strikes me turning the card over. A small hand written note and address on the back ‘TOMORROW 2 PM’. My heart races WHAT????

*TRAINEE DAYS*

“Y/N-AH STOP BEING SO DAMN USELESS AND PLEASE HIT THE BEAT ON THE RIGHT COUNT!” My groups dance lead, Hye-un shouts. Fury in her eyes, “Seriously we probably would have debuted by now if you could do something right like you can't sing, you can't dance...what can you do huh?? Stand there? Remember you’re only here because Namjoon oppa felt bad for you.” her words cut like knives. “Namjoon oppa thinks I'm good..” I mutter weakly, under my breathe as tears slide down my face. Every girl laughs, “No, honestly no one does like come on, you can't see it, He felt bad for you idiot. You were homeless and needed a place to go.” Jisoo snaps. Her words breaking my heart, grabbing my bag and dashing toward the door. They won't get to see me cry...not like that... not for them.  

Running down the hallway, hunting for the farthest studio away from them to release my demons. THUD! “Oof DUDE WATCH WHERE YO-” The loud voice cut off “LOOK IM NOT IN THE FUCKING MOOD MOVE” I shout as I stand up to run past the stranger. “Damn... Okay... rude... are you okay though you look like you’re crying” He says as I wipe my eyes getting a clear view of the man that I've collided with. A blush instantly creeping on my face as the familiar face becomes recognizable and my head shoots down, Taehyung oppa. All the anger in me fades quickly as the god like man shifted. My voice is shaky, “IM SO SORRY, I wasn’t paying attention. I'm just having a rough morning. I should get going, I'm so sorry... I..Um...S-Sorry” He chuckles “Ha, you said that already...3 times in fact” a small giggle escapes my lips.

“So, I know you don’t know me or anything but I’m a great listener. Maybe you can tell me what's going on, it might help” He says sincerely. Hesitant, I look down “um....-” “Look, don’t worry if you don’t want to physically tell me give me your number you can text it to me then that way you and I don’t have to be face to face and it can help you to get more out that sound good?” I nod as he pulls out his phone and asks for mine. His number in my phone as Tae<3. A smile creeps up onto my face as he pulls me into a hug. My body melts into his like I've known him for years. “Okay so I'll talk to you later” A smile on his face as he walks off.  

Blushing, as realization dawns on me as I pull my phone out to text him.  

*PRESENT*  

From there I told Tae everything, my fears, my past, insecurities. Useless....that's all I’ve ever been. My sobs no longer able to be held back as they barrel their way through my chest. “F-fin-ne then Tae you won't have to worry about me being in your way anymore” I whisper as I turn around and walk into the bedroom Tae and I share. Locking the door behind me I curl up in bed and let the tears take over me. Mama never loved you, the girls never wanted you to debut with them, they made you go solo because of how useless the group thought you were, You're so fucking useless to Tae. I ruin fucking everything I'm sorry Tae. The tears putting you to sleep eventually.  

TAE’S POV  

FUCK!! FUCK!! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!! FUCK! YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST DO???????!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK?!!! The regret fills my mind as the bedroom door locks in my face. Her sobs filling the apartment, my heart cracking at the sound. Sitting outside of the door listening to the love of my life cry herself to sleep in our bedroom, alone, because of me. Baby I'm so sorry...you know I never would mean anything like that, but the words never come out.  

Nothing can physically come out as my heart pounds in my throat terrified of what tomorrow could bring. Would she leave? NO! Tae don’t think like that Y/N loves you and she’ll know you could never mean that...right? Tears streaming down my face at the thought. You fucked up...you fucking hurt her in one of the worst fucking ways possible. There's no way she's going to forgive you. Trudging back to the couch as I let the tears consume me.  

Y/N’S POV

The sun beaming in my eyes, burning, as I blink myself awake. Eyes sore, Tae’s words resting at the front of my mind. Making my way to the restroom, the second the door is open Tae is in front of me on his knees. “Baby, I’m an asshole okay but I love you and-and I'm sorry” He pleads as he wraps his arms around my waist head resting against my stomach. Disgust filling me, “Move, I have to use the restroom” Tae’s saddened figure retreats back to the living room defeated. Tears stream down my face as the hot water from the shower soaks me. My pain evident, Tae shuffling outside of the bathroom door every few minutes whispering to himself before disappearing back into the living room.  

Placing one of my tank tops and sweat pants on, I make my way out of the bathroom. Tae rushing behind me as I walk back into the bed room. The saddened puppy looks still on his face. His regret in his eyes, his face is puffy and red proof he’s been crying over his words. The sight weakening my angry state as he reaches for my face and looks into my eyes caressing my cheek. His gaze drifting to my lips, slowly leaning forward he brushes his lips against mine looking for some form of consent. My eyes close as he presses forward and kisses me with so much emotion, his tongue delving in to my mouth and tasting me. A slight moan released from his lips as he presses me against the bedroom door slamming it shut. He lifts my right leg over his waist pulling me closer, as lips slide down to my neck. The way his tongue attacks my neck, drawing a puddle in my panties, his member grinding against me hard as a rock. The need for more grows inside me as Tae pulls his lips off of my body as he whispers in my ear his voice shaky and terrified “I-I’m so s-sorry, I love you and you’re not useless. I didn’t mean it. I could never mean it, you’re perfect I swear. And I'm such an ass for saying something like that there’s no excuse for what I said but please, okay, I'm BEGGING you don’t leave me.”  

A tear slides down my face as he shakes, crying into my ear wrapping his arms around my waist. Tae’s sadness washing away any animosity toward him at his words. “Baby... you hurt me but I'd never leave you. You're all I have and I'm never giving you up” I hug him back. His smile against my neck. “I don’t deserve you.....I'm sorry” I nod and run my hands through his hair. “SO! Were you just being a tease or are you gonna finish what you started?” I ask seductively as I put Tae’s hand in my pants, a smirk creeps onto his face.  

“Oh, Kitten, I have so many plans for us today”  

[selfignitingimagines]

hi could I get a teen wolf ship? I’m straight and 5’5 with long dirty blonde hair and dark brown eyes, I’m not pale but note very tan either, sarcastic and passive aggressive, have social anxiety, average grades, I dress pretty casual usually in black or red, I’m really interested in criminology and forensics , closed off and only semi-open up to a couple of people, I pride myself on intelligence, am a Virgo and Slytherin, and would do anything to protect who I love!

I ship you with Theo!

You had never trusted him, not once. When Theo first came to Beacon Hills, you felt the same way Stiles had. Theo wanted something, and you weren’t stupid enough to fall for his tricks, even if you did find yourself drawn to him. Or maybe you were drawn to each other.

Either way, you disagreed with Lydia when she said that you two bickered like a married couple, that your matched wits showed you were meant to be. Then he tried to kill Scott, and it didn’t matter that you had tried to do your own investigating. Whatever tiny sliver of hope you had that he wasn’t a monster was gone. 

When Kira sent Theo down into that hole in the tunnels, you tried to put him out of your head. It didn’t matter that he tried to push past your walls more than anyone ever had, or that his intelligence was a match for yours. It was all a trick, and that was what you decided to tell yourself, even if you didn’t quite believe it. 

When he resurfaced after the arrival of the Ghost Riders, things became more complicated. You had seen him put his life on the line for the Pack and for Scott, and this time, it was real. Still, you tried to avoid him at all costs, but unfortunately he had the opposite idea. 

“Leave me alone,” you told him one night, as he followed you into the school library. “I don’t need someone to follow me around while I study and I can protect myself.”

“Against trained hunters who want to kidnap you?” Theo asked. “You’re crazy if you think I’m letting you out of my sight.”

“Oh and I’m supposed to trust you to protect me?”

You set your backpack down at a wooden table. It was a Friday night, and the library was deserted after eight pm, so you weren’t worried about anyone overhearing. Even the librarian had left for the night, and you and Theo had used one of Stiles’ illegally copied keycards to swipe into the school. 

Theo looked slightly ashamed at your words, but just like you, he was stubborn. “I know what I’ve done. I’m trying to make up for it now.”

“By following me around?”

“By protecting you,” he insisted. “Gerard wants a banshee. You really think he won’t send someone after you?”

You bristled. It was weeks ago that Deaton had gotten a tip from an informant. There was a rumor that Allison’s Grandfather was looking for an advantage in the form of someone who could predict his death. He thought if he knew when he was going to die, he could avoid it. While it was possible for you to do that as a banshee, honing in on that power wasn’t that easy. Gerard had to know that. 

“Why don’t you go protect Lydia then?” you demanded. “If us banshees are so in danger?”

“Because Malia has her covered, and I like you better.”

There he was again, flirting like he hadn’t tried to kill your friends. Suddenly angry, you yanked your bag off the ground and headed toward the exit. 

Theo’s grin fell. “Wait, Y/n. What did I say?”

He followed after you, reaching out, but you knocked his hand away. 

“Go away,” you snapped. “I’m not that stupid.”

His green eyes went wide. “Of course you’re not stup-”

“Shut up! All you’ve ever done is lie, and if you think I’m dumb enough to trust you, then you’re insane. Just stay the hell away from me.”

Theo stood there, stunned, as you turned on your heel and left. You let the library doors slam shut behind you, echoing through the empty school. As soon as they shut, you began to feel guilty. Maybe he had been trying to help, and it was your own attraction to him that was making you uncomfortable. 

Still, you were too stubborn to turn back, and you headed toward the parking lot. 

When you stepped outside, you immediately shivered. It was fall, and unseasonably cold. You regretted not taking Theo’s hoodie when he offered it during your walk up to the school doors. 

You began to walk quickly to your car, trying to escape the chilly night air, but that was when you noticed two figures leaning against the fence bordering the lacrosse field. You didn’t look directly at them, instead choosing to watch from the corner of your eye as you passed. Hopefully you were just being paranoid and they were just a couple of kids hanging out. As you passed though, they peeled away from the fence and began to follow you. 

That was when you started to run, and the sound of their footsteps on the asphalt shortly followed. You fumbled with your keys, hoping to get to your car, but one of them grabbed you by the backpack as your hand reached for the door. 

Out of pure instinct, you screamed. Luckily, it wasn’t just a regular scream, and the force of it threw the two men back across the parking lot. They rolled over on the ground, groaning and wiping at the blood that was dripping from their ears. 

“Impressive.”

You whirled around, only to be struck in the head by something hard. You crumpled onto the pavement and your bag fell off your shoulders. While your vision loomed with dark spots that threatened to pull you under, you still managed to lift your head. 

You could see a woman standing over you, holding something long and metal. It glinted in the lights of the parking lot. She had dark skin and short, curly hair, and you realized instantly that it was Ms. Monroe smiling down at you. 

“Gerard is desperate to get his hands on you, Y/n.”

You opened your mouth to scream, and she raised the shotgun in her hands once more. Before she could bring it down though, a dark shape barreled into her, slamming her against your car. 

Your vision was growing blurrier by the second, but you could tell it was Theo who had taken her down. He disarmed Monroe in a matter of seconds, and knocked her unconscious with her own weapon. She wasn’t waking up anytime soon.

By this time, the other hunters were beginning to rise from the ground, but Theo turned around, and they ran in the opposite direction. He watched until they made it to a dark van at the edge of the lacrosse field, and sped off without Monroe. As soon as they were gone, he crouched next to you, placing a hand on your cheek. 

“Y/n.”

Your eyes were closed, so he shook you gently, smearing the blood that was dripping down your cheek. “Y/n!”

Your eyes opened, just barely, and he let out a sigh of relief. “Hey, can you hear me?”

You gave a weak nod. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for,” he said softly. “I do.

You shook your head, but you were too dizzy to respond. All you wanted to do was sleep.  

“Don’t close your eyes,” he warned.

You didn’t listen, as much as you wanted to. Somehow, you knew you would be okay, and that Theo was going to make sure of that. 

[buckysdiary]

It Doesn’t Matter (Pt. 9) FINALE

Warnings: Swearing, Character Death, Violence, Angst, Masochistic behaviour Pairings: Kylo Ren x Reader

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 - You are here!

Read this on DeviantArt!

Summary: After Han Solo and Finn break you out of Hux’s impromptu prison cell, you finally find Rey. However, shortly afterwards, Kylo Ren murders his father. You, Finn and Rey all try to escape into the woods, but you know Kylo Ren isn’t far behind. But now, you will both face each other, each in a new light: you’re not under his mind control any longer, and he has nothing to hide from you.

Word Count: 6,624 (Holy cow guys, this is a mega chapter...)

Warnings: Swearing, Character Death, Violence, Angst, Masochistic behaviour

   Finn and Han were sprinting through the Starkiller Base headquarters, and Chewie and I were sharp at their heels. Now and then, I would hear the chaotic sounds of blasters firing and people screaming, telling me that there was some sort of brutal attack on the entire base. We raced past dozens of empty rooms, having to conceal ourselves every so often from Stormtroopers rushing to the scene of the chaos. Finn led us through winding corridors and hallways, seemingly knowing where to go, even though it felt like we weren't making any progress in this maze of a base. I was keeping an eye out for the girl I had seen earlier (Rey, I supposed), but at least an hour had gone by, and she had yet to show up.

   The shock of knowing that my squadron was alive, after believing for months that they were all dead, had been replaced with anger. Anger at my own stupidity, anger at my weaknesses, but mostly anger towards Kylo Ren. He had lied to me about everything - and because of that, I was in a completely different situation than I would have been, had I known the truth. My perspective of everything had changed; I realized that, whether General Organa had been searching for me or not, I still owed everything to her. Even if Alavai and Jaxx were dead (which they weren't), I still should have continued to push myself away from Kylo Ren, instead of finding comfort in him. I owed them that much, if not more. And Kylo Ren... I was disgusted with myself to have let him get close to me. He was a large part of the threat on the Resistance, and I had let him touch me, let him walk by my side. I still wasn't sure if what I had felt for him was a part of his control on me or not, but either way, I was horrified that I had ever even spoken with him.

   As we reached the end of the corridor, Finn and Solo pushed themselves against the wall, and I followed. Several workmen jogged by us with blasters at hand, shouting orders to each other.

   "Is that a PLX 2M?!" Solo whispered.

   Finn looked at him confusedly. "How do you know so much about First Order artillery?" he said.

   "I knew a guy who used to sell them in the underground market." Solo replied. "And, boy, what I wouldn't give to have that missile launcher right now..."

   Chewie let out a small cry, holding up his crossbow.

   "Yeah, Chewie, but sometimes you want to put more than just an arrow in someone's gut." Solo rolled his eyes.

   Finn slowly crept to the other wall, followed by the rest of us. Across the room was a large, metal door; through it's window, I could see racks and rows of different weapons. Being a natural rebel, it was a sight for sore eyes, and I was anxious to get my hands on it all.

   "Well hello beautiful..." I mumbled, unable to hide the excitement on my face.

   Solo chuckled. "She sounds more like me than my own son." he said.

   "Ok." Finn said, ignoring our comments. "First things first, we need some better weapons..." He gestured towards Chewbacca's crossbow, "... no offense. Then we need to get the shields deactivated on the base. The rebel squadrons will be coming in pretty soon, and they won't be able to deal any damage if we don't get those shields down first."

   As Finn continued to describe his plan, my attention was locked on someone else. A chrome-clad Stormtrooper marched down the halls towards the weapons room. Their armor revealed their elevated status, along with the cape that draped over their shoulders. Granted, I had no idea who they were - I hadn't seen them on the base, despite having wandered almost the entire thing.

   I tapped Finn on the arm. "That might be our ticket to the artillery room." I whispered.

   "Perfect!" he said. "Alright - Solo, you cut them off by the door - just grab their attention for a second. I'll come up behind with Chewie, and then- "

   Before he could finish, we heard a loud, animalistic cry, followed by a crash. Through the corridor, Chewbacca had thrown himself on top of the high-ranking officer - despite their attempts to throw him off, his weight held them in place. He looked back at us and gave a victorious yell.

   "You idiot!" Finn said, exasperated. "You could have blown our cover!"

   Solo pushed past Finn. "He is an idiot, don't get me wrong. But at least his heart's in the right place."

   Chewbacca let out a defiant cry.

   "Oh- I'm sorry, your highness, thank you very much for taking the initiative in this."

   Chewbacca pulled the officer back up on their feet, and held their arms securely. Finn approached them and glared angrily through their helmet. "We need access to the artillery room."

   "And what makes you think that I would give a band of fleas such intel?" she said calmly.

   "Huh." I stared right through her helmet. "Never thought the First Order would give such a high rank to a woman, given how they treat them."

   She turned her head towards me. "For your information, I earned my rank. Supreme Leader Kylo Ren's interest in my skill had nothing to do with my promotion."

   "'For your information', bitch," I held my blaster under her chin, "... Kylo Ren doesn't give a shit about you. He doesn't give a shit about who's behind that helmet. All he cares about his himself. So stop pretending that you're the favorite one here and give us the code to the damn room."

   For a moment, she stared back at me. "You're right..." she finally said. "As I recall it, you were his favorite, actually."

   My cheeks grew hot from her remark. Angry, I hit her across the side of her helmet with the end of my blaster. She recoiled a bit, and her chrome exterior now had a scratch across it from my gun. Han grabbed me by the arms and pulled me away as I tried to slug her once more.

   "Calm down, feisty!" he spun me around and stared at me in the eyes. "We need this thing alive, remember?"

   Chewbacca growled at Solo, pointing at me.

   Han sighed. "I don't know what she meant, and I don't care, ok? This chick has been helping us long enough through the base, so I'm counting on her as our way out."

   Finn spoke up. "What did she mean, you're Kylo Ren's favorite?" he gave me a suspicious look.

   "Oh, she didn't tell you?" the officer spoke again. "For a while now, she's become his pet. He's been keeping her in his chambers and providing protection for her. He even fought my general to keep her out of harm's way. I don't know what information she gave him to change him into her protector, thought it must have been important."

   "I didn't give him any information," I said angrily. "... he said he- well, it doesn't matter what he said, I didn't make him do anything."

   "Sorry girl, but it does matter." Solo looked me in the eyes again. "What did he say to you?"

   My cheeks grew hot with embarrassment. I felt like a child being reprimanded for doing something I shouldn't have. Is he really going to make me say it? "He said... he said he loved me." I mumbled quietly.

   "Huh?" Finn said.

   "He said he loved me!" I responded, a little louder than I wanted to.

   Solo now had a look of disbelief on his face. "And you believed him?! You gullible sack of scrap metal- "

   "Are you kidding me?!" Finn said, and looked like he might vomit.

   "Look, I get it, it's stupid!" I shouted. "You don't understand how dumb I feel for falling for it! I think he was controlling my mind with that dumb force shit, that's why I believed him!"

   Solo ran a hand over his face. "Oh my god, kids these days..."

   "- but I swear, I didn't tell him anything! I didn't give him information, I didn't trade anything for protection... he just, sort of did it. All by himself."

   "Ok, look here, kid." He looked back at me, serious once again. "I don't care what happened. You seem alright to me, and like you've got your senses back. You've helped us so far, so I'll trust you. But so help me, if you step one foot out of line- "

   "I swear, I won't."

   "- you're going to be his dinner." He pointed to Chewbacca, who growled in agreement. "And it's been at least four hours since he's eaten, so he's hungry."

   I looked at Chewbacca, who gave me a rather toothy, yellow grin. "I promise, I won't."

   Solo nodded, satisfied with my answer. "Good. Now, what's it gonna take to get you to open the artillery room for us?" He looked at the officer.

   Finn thought for a moment, before answering confidently. "I know where the trash compacter is."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

   After upgrading our weapons, Finn, Chewie, Solo and I continued to sneak around the corridors. Finn kept mentioning the "Rey" that he was hoping to find, which made me wonder why everyone in the galaxy was searching for this girl. Solo and Chewie continued to mumble passive aggressive remarks to each other, despite Finn's shushing. I followed closely behind them all, still fuming about Kylo Ren's lies and the officer's remarks. My emotions were a jumbled mess from being pushed away for so long, and it was getting more and more difficult to keep them at bay.

   Eventually, we had found Rey (after nearly slamming into her when turning corners). She was the girl I had seen earlier, and was much less threatening than I had assumed. Although I couldn't tell why she was so important to the First Order, I decided not to question her origin and intentions. She seemed trustworthy enough, and it was evident that Kylo Ren had traumatized her enough as well.

   Upon seeing each other, she and Finn had embraced for a while, while he mumbled apologies to her and she cried. I stood there in silence, awkwardly watching and wondering how long they had been apart. Chewie stood next to me and grumbled impatiently in the silence, to which we then continued our journey through the base. At some point, amidst the chaos and commotion of personnel running around the base, fighting whatever was attacking them, Han Solo had separated from us. Chewie told us (translation provided by Rey) not to worry - that he could handle himself.

   Finally, we arrived at a large, dark tunnel that ran deep into the ground - so much so that it was impossible to see the bottom. We carefully made our way across the thin platforms and bridges, making sure to avoid any of the Stormtroopers or officers below.

   "Where are we headed?" I asked quietly.

   "Out." Finn replied. "The Resistance is planning on blowing up the entire planet, so we need to get out of here fast."

   "The Resistance is here?!" I said in disbelief. I wondered if Kiera and Delmi were there too. For their own sake, and so I had a chance to beg their forgiveness later, I hoped they weren't. "Do you know how much time we have?"

   "Not long. Hopefully we can get back to the Falcon in time."

   "Look!" Rey cried out, and pointed to a platform below us.

   Upon peering over the ledge, my breath caught in my throat. Han Solo was standing on a bridge, right in front of Kylo Ren. My heart stopped at how close they were to each other.

   "What is he doing?" I said, leaning over the railing to get a better look. Kylo Ren's body was shaking and his shoulders slumped, and with every word he said, Solo's lip would tremble. My intuition was telling me that, whatever was happening down there, it wasn't going to end well.

   Rey furrowed her brow. "Is he reconciling to his father?" she asked.

   Like hell he is... "We need to get him away from Kylo..." I said sharply.

   "But it looks like Solo might have finally knocked some sense into that kid!" Finn was staring anxiously at the scene below. "Is... is he crying? What a big baby- "

   "He's not really crying!" I said, holding my blaster into position. "He's faking it, that son of a bitch!!"

   "Hey, watch it- "

   The sound of my blaster firing drowned out Finn's concerned voice. I never let my weapon down until I made sure it hit its mark - right in the back of Kylo Ren's leg.

   Even from the distance, I could hear his anguished cry as he keeled over. Solo looked up at us with shock and anger. He was obviously shouting in wrath, although none of us could make out what he was saying.

   "What the hell did you do?!" Finn shouted, and snatched my blaster before I could fire again. "Are you crazy?!"

   "I may have just saved Solo's life! That boy is a liar who would sell his own soul to get what he wants, and you can't trust a damn thing he does!!"

   "Or you could have killed him!!" he shouted back.

   "She's right." Rey chimed in, still watching the scene below. "He won't change. We need to get Solo out- "

   Before she could finish, the sound of a lightsaber slashing echoed through the hall. We looked back to Kylo Ren and Han Solo on the platform; Kylo's lightsaber was buried deep into Solo's abdomen.

   "NO!!" Finn shouted. Rey gasped in shock, followed by an anguished cry from Chewbacca.

   My breath caught in my throat as I watched Kylo Ren throw Solo over the edge of the platform. I could feel my heart drop into my stomach as he disappeared into the gaping hole below. I was frozen in shock. "God, no, no no..." I muttered the words over and over, hoping it was a dream.

   "He's gone..." Rey said shakily. "Solo, he's gone. Oh my god, Leia..."

   Kylo Ren looked up at us, before locking eyes with Rey. If he could have had any more hatred on his face, he did. He gripped the hilt of his lightsaber tightly, as if he were going to throw it.

   "Go, go!!" Finn directed Rey away from the ledge as fast as he could. Chewie and I continued to stand there in shock, staring down at Kylo Ren. He now stared back at me, somewhat shocked.

   How did you get here?! His words were full of rage and resentment. I could feel him trying to dig into my mind again; that same, painful scraping from before, when he had tried to interrogate me. Yet, I didn't succumb to the pain. Instead, I was able to feel his emotions. Leaking through the wrath on the surface were sadness, regret, and pain of his own.

   "Why?!" I leaned over the railing and screamed at him. "He was your father, you bastard!!"

   He glared up at me, furious that I could feel his emotions. Come here, NOW.

   The pull was stronger now - I was fighting the urge to obey his command, and it was harder than ever before. I closed my eyes and focused: don't do it, don't listen to him, think of something else. I directed my attention to my hands, gripping the railing as hard as they could.

   "What's wrong with you?!" Finn's shout snapped me back to reality. He ran towards me, Rey close behind. "We need to go, now!!" He grabbed my arm and dragged me away from the edge.

   Chewbacca began firing his blaster at whomever he could and yelled in rage. I took one last look at him - although he was beastly, I could see the pain in his expression. He was fuming and hurt that he had just lost his life-long partner, and that it was to the man's own son. He disappeared behind the walls of the room, his cries echoing, as we fled the scene.

   Finn led us outside the dark and sleek interior of Starkiller Base. When I stepped out into the snow, my eyes forced themselves shut; the world around me was so white, from the snow that completely covered the planet, to the cloudy sky above. I hadn't seen such a bright setting in ages, and it was painful to look at. I followed closely behind Finn and Rey, trying to focus on their footprints ahead of me as I fought to keep my eyes open. Above us, I could hear the sounds of X-Wing and TIE Fighters firing at each other. Debris from destroyed space crafts rained from the sky, nearly hitting us as we continued to run.

   Eventually, we entered into the woods. The sky was blocked out by the towering evergreens around us, but the snow still fell heavy. I could hear Finn's and Rey's strained breaths, as well as my own pounding heartbeat, now that the commotion was well behind us.

   "Wait!" Rey shouted, slowing to a stop. She put her hands on her knees and tried to catch her breath.

   "What is it?" Finn stopped next to her, concerned.

   Rey took some deep breaths before looking back at Finn and me. Her face was covered in tears and sweat and her hair was a mess. "Where are we going?"

   Finn looked around: although he knew where the fight was going on behind us, there was no other indication that we were heading towards safety. Or, furthermore, if there even was such a thing. The sky was growing darker with each second, making it even more difficult to tell what direction to go in.

   "I'm not sure," he finally said, "... but we just need to get away from the fight. We need to get you back to the Resistance fleet."

   "And what about Han Solo?!" I said angrily. "We're not going to talk about what just happened? That his own son just killed him, and that we had the chance to stop him? But we didn't?!"

   Finn sighed. "We don't have the time for that right now, if you hadn't noticed! And there was nothing we could do!"

   "There was!!" I stood firmly in front of Finn, staring at him with anger. "I tried to save Solo and you stopped me! I could have killed Kylo Ren that moment, but you wouldn't let me!"

   "You had plenty of chances to kill him!!" He matched my volume. "You pranced around with him for who knows how long, and you didn't do a damn thing! You're not any better than me, or even him!! Why didn't you kill him, huh?"

   I opened my mouth to answer, but I couldn't think of anything to say. Why didn't I kill him? There were so many chances I could have taken, why didn't I even think about it?

   "Face it, you've become one of them, haven't you?!" He continued.

   "Fuck off!!" I screamed as I tried to slug him across the face. Finn grabbed my arms and tried to fight back, although I held my stance firmly and continued to try and punch him.

   "Stop it you two!!" Rey shouted.

   We both looked at her. She was standing straight, her hands balled into fists, and a look of frustration hanging from her face. "What happened was awful, and I don't know what to tell Leia. But we'll have time to discuss it later. We need to get out of here, stop wasting your time and your energy being idiots!"

   Finn and I looked at each other, and instantly I felt foolish. I quickly moved away from him, and he let go of my arms. We both stared in opposite directions of each other.

   I understood what this was - for the first time in a long time, I was finally free of Kylo Ren. Now, all of the emotions that had been pushed back were rising up, more intense than ever. I had to control this, before I couldn't. I didn't want to be like Kylo Ren, who didn't care where his anger directed him.

   "Ok." Finn broke the silence. "So what now?"

   Rey looked around her, as if an answer would pop up out of the snow. "I don't know. Just keep heading away from the center of the base?"

   I nodded in agreement. "That sounds good. We should be safe for a little bit - I can't hear him right now."

   Rey and Finn both looked at me in astonishment. "What?" they both said.

   I froze. Shit! Panicking, I frantically searched for an explanation. "Wh- uhh... y- you don't hear him too?"

   "Hell no!" Finn stared at me like I was a creature he'd just discovered. "What do you mean, 'hear him' ?"

   What now, what now, what now... "I, uhh, sometimes I hear him, like he's speaking to me. Directly. But, it's... it's in my head. But I hear his voice, just... in my... head."

   They continued to look at me in shock. I shifted my weight in the uncomfortable silence. Stupid! Why the hell did you say that? What's wrong with you?!

   "How?" Rey finally said.

   I quickly shrugged. "I don't know, it just happens. He can hear me, too."

   "What?!"

   I slapped my forehead and sighed. You fucking idiot!! "I mean, he reads my thoughts! Erhm, but not all of them. I've been getting better at blocking him out."

   "Oh, so you've been practicing with him, have you?!" Finn crossed his arms over his chest and gave me a suspicious look. Rey continued to hang her jaw in disbelief.

   "No! No, that's not what I meant, just- "

   Suddenly, Rey was launched into the air, screaming as she collided with the tree behind me. She was instantly knocked out as her head hit the trunk.

   "Rey!!" Finn cried out, rushing towards her as she fell to the ground. I began to follow him as well - when I heard it.

   Come.

   I froze, fear rushing through my body. He was close. Kylo Ren was close to us. I had to get as far away from him as I possibly could.

   "No..." I answered, searching for an escape. I let my feet carry me in a random direction as I tried to find any sanctuary from the situation.

   Finn looked back at me desperately. "I need you to help me get her out of here!"

   "I'm sorry..." the words fell out of my mouth, barely a whisper. "I can't stay here, he knows I'm here- "

   "Of course he knows!" Fin shouted angrily. "He knows we're all here! We're all in deep water, not just you! If you run away now, you only put yourself in more danger, or you abandon your friends to die. Is that what you want?!"

   Finn's words quickly sank into my brain. Of course I didn't want that. Just like I didn't want to leave Delmi and Kiera behind. I didn't mean to abandon them, I was just... running away. Saving myself. Finally admitting this to myself made tears flow from my eyes. I never even thought how leaving them behind would affect them, not just my own self. How could I have done that, and truly called myself their friend? "Oh my god..."

   "Look, I almost ran away too." Finn said. "And it didn't just affect me, it affected Rey. I let my fear put my friends in danger - I was a coward."

   "I'm not a coward." my voice shook as I spoke, more to myself than Finn. Although I knew the words were a lie.

   "Then help me help her. So we can all get each other to safety." he pleaded. "If you really aren't a coward, you won't leave her behind."

   I looked at Rey, still unconscious in the snow. She needs both our help. Don't abandon them again. Don't abandon Kiera and Delmi.

   "Ok." I said, still shaking. I knelt down next to him. "What do we do?"

   Finn searched his mind for a plan. "Chewie should be getting help... we just need to keep- "

   He was cut off mid sentence by a stone colliding with his head. He was knocked back into the snow, right next to Rey.

   "FINN!" I cried, dropping next to him. There was a small trail of blood running down from his forehead, although not too much; he was just unconscious, but that wasn't good either. I scanned the woods around us, searching for Kylo Ren. Strangely, the trees were the only things surrounding the area. He was nowhere in sight.

   "What the hell?" I whispered, still in shock. I looked at the stone on the ground, just a few feet from me. It was smooth and glossy - too artificial to have been lying around in the woods. So where did it come from? And further, stones didn't just fly around for no good reason. It was Kylo Ren, it had to be.

   I shook my head, clearing the panic from my mind. I had time to get Rey and Finn to safety. And right now, that mattered more than myself.

   I quickly spotted two fallen trees, one leaning against another. It made a small shelter against the wind, and anyone who may have been coming from behind us. I scooped up Rey into my arms and carried her behind the trees. She was lighter than I had expected, and barely made a dent in the snow. Finn, on the other hand... I resorted to dragging him by his arms, and struggled to throw him over the two trunks. He landed heavily on his side, his head resting in the snow.

   Come here.

   A chill ran down my spine. It was him. The voice was calm and gentle, but it was him. Fear quickly flooded my veins and my heart pounded. How long has he been here?

   Trust me.

   "Don't you fucking dare..." I whispered, anger building in my chest. "Don't you dare think that after everything you did- "

   I kept you alive. I spared you. I gave you a chance no one else had. You should be thanking me.

   I squeezed my eyes shut. I knew he was lying, it was obvious now. Yet there was still a part of me, an innocent, gullible part, that thought he was right. And I couldn't drown out that thought.

   You're tired. You need to rest.

   "No!" I shouted, sinking to the ground. I buried my head in my knees and held my ears shut, trying to block out any thought, any lingering of him.

   I know you.

   "You don't know shit about me!!"

   Come here.

   His voice resonated throughout my head. I couldn't hear the wind anymore, I couldn't hear my own heartbeat... it was just those two words, over and over again, beckoning me to move towards Kylo Ren.  

   "STOP IT!!" I screamed. "Get out of my head!! Just get out!!"

   Come here.

   "No!" I shouted again. "I won't! Stay away from me, stay out of my head!!" I clawed at my head in attempt to distract myself from his words. They were oddly alluring to me. Instead of them being angry and violent, they were gentle. Almost as if he was cooing at me. I knew it was all a trick, but my mind was used to the softness of his voice. I was so tired, so weak, and so desperate, and the sound of his words were so enticing.

   Snap out of it!! I thought to myself. Whether the words were kind or not, this was Kylo Ren; the man who manipulated everyone and lied about everything. I shouldn't have been interested in anything that had to do with him. Yet, even as I mentally screamed at my weak will, I continued to feel the want to get up and go to him.

   Eventually, I couldn't resist the urge.

   "I'm not crazy..." I mumbled, pushing myself off of the ground and making my way to him. I didn't know why, but I didn't bother to question it.

   He was standing in front of me - where he came from, I had no idea. Upon seeing me, he removed his helmet and dropped it in the snow. His lightsaber was ready at hand, glowing menacingly against the white of the forest surrounding us. His expression was calm, though I could see a hint of anger and frustration in his eyes. I stopped a few feet away and stared at him.

   "I'm not insane." I repeated - like a broken record.

   "Do you actually think that?" he spat, his voice shaking in anger. "Can you even think for yourself anymore, after what I've done to you?"

   What does that even mean? I thought, and Kylo Ren heard me.

   "Would you believe me if I had told you that you haven't acted of your own free will since the day you got here?"

   I didn't answer. I couldn't answer, I couldn't even make any facial expression to show my pain. But the inside of my head was screaming with agony, at his words and at his hold on my mind.

   "Keeping you in that cell," he continued, "that was just the beginning of breaking you down. I knew your will was too strong to succumb to physical pain, and may have only gotten stronger through the torture. So I waited - it wasn't easy, and you know I'm not a man of patience. But I could see that leaving you alone in that cell was destroying your sanity. You became desperate for any sort of comfort or consolation, that it didn't matter from whom it came. Naturally, I took the opportunity, right when you had told me you had given up. You were at your weakest point, and I was able to control your emotions without you ever knowing it. I made you feel safe, at ease... and because your will was so broken, so defeated... it was simple, almost too easy, to make you think and do what I wanted. I could make you believe anything, trust anything, feel anything, all with a small thought of my own."

   "If you could do all that," I said, trembling, "...if I was so broken, then why did you drag it out so long? Why didn't you just get the information you wanted and kill me?"

   He didn't answer right away, as he calculated his answer. "Simple boredom." he replied. "Which was my mistake, of course. There's nothing to do on this base besides giving and taking orders. When I realized that I had created such a puppet out of you, I decided to have fun with it. Although I believe this attack could have been long avoided had I just retrieved the location of the base and disposed of you."

   My brain was hazy under his trance. Each word he spoke made me think of when I had trusted him, when I had felt comfortable around him. But the memories were sour now, and tainted with the realization that it was all a game. "You..." I began as I glared into his eyes, to which he seemed intimidated. "You are nothing but weak, and you know it."

   "Quiet!!" he cried, bringing his lightsaber up to my neck with a menacing expression. "You've been lied to since the moment you got here! You can't possibly know what I am!!"

   "I saw what you were moments ago!" I shouted back at him, ignoring the lightsaber at my neck. "You're a monster, and a murderer! But more than that, you're the rotten bastard, a disgraceful, son-of-a-bitch- "

   "I SAID QUIET!!" he growled.

   "- lazy and immature coward!!"

   "ENOUGH!!" Kylo Ren drew back his lightsaber and slashed it across my torso. I collapsed against the tree behind me, though he used the force to keep me standing up. I seethed and bit my tongue as I stared at the new mark on my stomach; it didn't cut through me, but it left a long stripe, stretching from one side to the other.

   I looked back at him. "Just kill me!!" I screamed angrily. "You've stated your intentions, and you've shown me how I'm not a piece in this game anymore - so just kill me for god's sake!!"

   Kylo Ren clenched his jaw, still fuming. "You're not going to bother asking why I'm explaining all of this to you?!"

   "I couldn't give a fuck about you or what you have to say!"

   He ignored me. "I'm telling you this now because, well... because I couldn't tell anyone else what I was doing to you. I've kept our secret for months, lest anyone find out the fact that I was just having fun. And as you should know, any type of isolation - whether it be keeping a secret, or not being able to speak to anyone but my own conscious - it's a wretched feeling. So, that is why I am explaining my plan to you. It doesn't matter if you know, since I'm going to kill you."

   But-

   "But what?" he sneered. "Did you really think I felt affection towards you? Did you honestly think I was telling the truth?" he spat the word out, as if it had tasted sour. "I must have been doing a very good job of it, then, since even now, you still believe I had feelings for you. That, or you must be terribly dense." he walked to my side, disappearing from my vision. "Think to yourself - why would I ever admire you? Why would I be so infatuated with such an insignificant person? You mean nothing to me, and you never have. Nor will you ever."

   He allowed me to speak, only to answer him. "You said that I entranced you. That you were intrigued by my resilience to the force. You said - you said you loved me." I felt stupid and ashamed repeating his words - they were obviously lies. It was so damn clear now, it made me want to vomit. And I had been so blind to believe that they were true. It was sickening to know that I had ever accepted them to be real. It made me realize how weak I was, how gullible I had been.

   "Not all of that is a lie." He stated, as I got back up on my feet. "I was interested in you. You had the strongest willpower of the pilots in your squadron. Possibly, of all the pilots I have come across. I was confused in how you were able to remain reserved under the force. But I never loved you." he chuckled to himself. "It's funny to think that you believed me when I said that. All it took were a few lies, and I was able to control you, little by little."

   He sighed, turning to look me in the eyes. "It is, however, disheartening, to think that all this work I put into you still resulted in nothing. I had hoped that in a few weeks you would have revealed the location of the Resistance Base, but then they had to come and initiate an attack. I wasn't able to fight them off and keep you under my control. Even the most experienced Jedi can't control that much at once."

   Anger welled up in my chest, and I wanted to scream. I wanted to punch, scratch, kick, do whatever I could to injure Kylo. However, the restraint holding me back from hurting him only fueled my anger, which led to tears falling down my cheeks. Everything he was saying was so painful, but now that I knew, I wasn't shocked by any of it. It was something I had expected from so wicked a person, yet every second of listening to him speak was torture.

   "You think this, right now, is torture." he said. "But wait until I finally kill you."

   This caught me off guard; I chuckled to myself a bit. "You know what? I've been waiting for it for weeks." I said with a sneer. I knew he hated that, and I didn't care. For the first time in a long time, I felt liberated. Kylo Ren was about to kill me. I was going to die - death was right in front of me, shrouded in black and angry that I had managed to escape his grasp more than once. I wasn't afraid. I wasn't giving up, either... I just felt at peace.

   But of course, he wasn't going to let me have that. "I will thoroughly enjoy this, my dear."

   As he said this, he pushed the cross hair of his lightsaber into my abdomen. A fierce heat flowed violently from the lightsaber and into the rest of my body, and my muscles twitched and seized instinctively from the wound. Even though I was still under his grasp on my mind, I stuttered and shook in pain. Tears began to fall harder, and I could feel the lightsaber cauterizing as quickly as it tore through my skin.. It was warm, but it only made the pain worse as time went on. My breath was heavy and cold, and my heartbeat had quickened drastically. I felt the pain; I knew it was pain, and it made me want to scream and writhe in agony. But all I could do was stand there and stare Kylo in the eyes, until he either released my mind from his grip, or finally killed me. And I was sure it would be the latter.

   Fear

   But I wasn't afraid.

   Father. Han Solo.

   These images and thoughts in my mind weren't my own...

   Pain

   These were his thoughts. Kylo Ren's thoughts. Why could I hear them? Why were they so loud in my head?

   I can't do this.

   I looked at him in the eyes. Does he know I can hear him? I thought. The pain from the lightsaber subsided as I continued to listen to his thoughts.

   Suddenly, I noticed his expression change; he seemed angry, as if I had insulted him. His eyes widened, and leaned in closer to my face. "You will not break me!!" he spat.

   The next words that slipped from my mouth... I'm not sure where they came from. I can't even say that they were my own.

   "I won't be the one to break you, Ben."

   Upon hearing me speak, he wrapped his hand around my throat and began to choke me. The lack of oxygen was excruciating, however, I continued to be numb to the pain.

   "What did you say?" he growled.

   I struggled against his grip, trying to pry away his fingers with my own. I attempted to answer him, but his hand only tightened around my neck with each gasp.

   Suddenly, a blue light raced past my head. Kylo was forcefully knocked to the ground, tearing his lightsaber away from my side. I could feel the force being pulled from my head, and almost instantly, pain replaced it. I fell backwards into the snow, screaming in anguish from the pain in my abdomen. My muscles convulsed involuntarily, my head seared with pain - it was all so much at once. Only moments before, Kylo was holding me back from reacting to the wound, and now that he was gone, all I could feel was the searing heat in my side..

   I weakly pushed myself up against a tree, trying to cover the wound with my hands. The blood was almost invisible on my dark clothing, but I could see the snow beneath me becoming redder and larger. My head was swimming with dizziness and I began to see spots. I could faintly hear the sound of lightsabers clashing together, and Kylo's distant shouts.

[shoutoismybaby]

Bakugous crush gets hit on...

Im on mobile so sorry for the weird set-up

Warnings for Cusing and Physical Violence

***

Bakugou had developed a crush on you since the day you got snarky with him over yelling at Izuku. Izuku had stepped on his foot on accident, setting the blonde off into another one of his rage fits. Usually, this was something you would have ignored, like the rest of the class that had become accustomed to his outbursts. But the night before you had stayed up watching Netflix, meaning you had gotten no sleep. Which lead to your tolerance level for the day plummeting to an all-time low. He hadn't even noticed as you pushed yourself out of your seat until you were standing in front of him, jabbing a finger at his chest and causing him to stumble back a few inches. He had opened his mouth the yell at you, but you simply interrupted him.

“Do you EVER shut up?” It took him a couple of seconds to register just what was going on, just like the rest of the class. They had never seen you angry before. “You are so fucking extra! It's 7, AM, it’s too early for your bullshit, Bakugou. Some of us didn’t sleep well last night and would like some peace and quiet. It’s not us ‘extras’ fault no one listens to you at home.”

With that you turned around on the ball of your foot, ponytail smacking him across the face. Almost emphasizing your point in a way. Everyone watched as you sat back down in your seat and took this as a warning to never piss you off.

 That was the day he began to remember your name, and start thinking about you outside of class. It was annoying to him for a while that he couldn't seem to get you out of his head. Every time he went out with his friends, he wondered if you would somehow run into them. Each time he tried a new food, his brain wanted to know if you would like it. Every time you changed something about yourself, such as your hairstyle, he would notice. And he couldn’t stop thinking about it until he fell asleep at night.

It didn’t register in his head that he had a crush on you for a while. Not until Mina had been gushing about a boy she had met at a coffee shop, talking about how she never stopped thinking about him. As soon as it hit him that he viewed you the same way Mina viewed the random barista, he interrupted the whole conversation with-

“If any of you extras ask out (F/n) (L/n), I will kill you.”

And that soon became the unspoken rule of the class. 

Not only did people not want Bakugou to target them, most of them also thought that you two would make a cute couple. You seemed to balance each other out. He was very aggressive, and you were typically passive. However, you could kick Bakugou off of his high horse if you needed to. And that's what he liked most about you. Not only were you cute, but you also had a backbone.

Unfortunately for him, he wasn’t the only guy to notice this. It was rare that the class could go one day without someone who didn’t know about Bakugou's threat hitting on you. Not that they would do it twice, considering Bakugou made sure they were aware of the threat soon after.

Many people wondered why Bakugou didn’t just ask you out. When asked, he simply yelled at them that it was none of their business. In reality, he didn’t think you felt the same way as him, and he didn’t really want to create the awkwardness that would come with you rejecting him.

Until you changed his mind of course.

It was about 30 minutes before class, and Bakugou was wondering the halls in an attempt to get rid of the extras he occasionally thought of as friends. He had passed the classroom he spent most of his time in, 1-A, only to backtrack when he realized the door was open. Aizawa was always late, so why would the door be open? He almost charged in to yell at whoever was in there when he heard your voice.

“Oh, you think so?” He snuck over to the opening of the door and peeked around it. You were holding a textbook, Hero Laws Volume 2 if Bakugou recalled correctly, and using it as a flat surface to write on next to his desk. Why you weren't just using his desk to write on, he didn't know. 

But the person in front of his desk is what made him lose his cool. It was a third-year boy, and from the look at his stance, he was trying to make a move.

Bakugou contemplated busting in and interrupting the whole conversation, but it would be too obvious what he was trying to do. And you would have questions he couldn't answer. So he waited,

“Yeah, I think we would end up being both the cutest and the most powerful couple on campus.” This statement caused Bakugou's blood to boil, and you to freeze. It took you a moment to regain your bearings, 

“You just met me yesterday,” You scoffed, rolling your eyes as you bent over and set the textbook down on Bakugou's desk, beginning to sign your name on the paper that sat on top of it.

“I don’t see how that matters,” the boy replied, closing the distance between you two. But you hadn’t noticed, focusing too much on making your name neat and wishing you hadn't chosen to write with a pen. “It doesn’t change my feelings.”

It was then that you regretted taking your eyes off the boy as you jumped, his hand has made its way to your bum, giving it a squeeze you did not give permission to.

Bakugou at this point began to run into the room so that he could kill the son of a bitch, only to have you beat him to it.

Letting go of the pen, you had picked up the textbook. Allowing the paper to fly off as the large book connected with the jerk's face. Knocking him out cold instantly. Bakugou watched for a moment as you stood there, face red and quickly looking up at him. He was in the middle of the room now, frozen. Seeing your panic, he took a deep breath.

“Are you okay?” He asked, attempting to use an indifferent tone.

“Um, yeah. I was just… I wasn't expecting that.” You sighed, dropping the book and crossing your arms over your chest. “Do you think he’s okay?”

“Is he okay?! Are you kidding me?” Bakugou's anger instantly came back. Why did you care about the pervert who just assaulted you?

“I..” You trailed off, seeming unable to come up with a response. THough your mind was racing. You instantly felt uncomfortable in your own skin, and all of the confidence you had talked into yourself that morning quickly crumbled. You felt too exposed. Too vulnerable.

Even though you were the one who had caused your attacker to be unconscious on the floor. Something about having your bodily autonomy invaded, even though some wouldn't have found it to be that big of a deal, made you want to scrub your body with soap over and over. You felt invaded. All you wanted to do at that moment was to go home. Maybe cry.

You weren't sure. Your thoughts were rushing by you so fast you weren't sure how to react. Maybe you were still in shock.

Bakugou's eyes narrowed as he took in your form. You had curled into yourself, making you seem small and fragile. It was a state he had never seen you in before. So scared and uncomfortable.

It made him angry. This lowlife had no right to touch you, much less even look at you. He was luckily that you would most likely prevent Bakugou from murdering him then and there.

But the look in your eyes made Bakugou realize that he could deal with that douche later. He needed to be there for you right now. He slowly approached you and began picking things up from the floor. The pen, the textbook. These were sat on his desk before he gently grabbed your wrist, finally feeling the small shake that your body was emitting. He murmured some gruff assurances under his breath as he pushed you backwards with little force, and lead you to sit down in his chair.

You seemed dazed and stuck in your own world, so Bakugou did what he does best.

“Hey!” He yelled, “Snap out of this stupid daze thing and go back to being your normal self. You're too strong to even be worried about an extra like that. You could have blasted him into next week if you had wanted to, so stop freaking out!”

At his outburst, you flinched slightly and blinked a few times. Bakugou almost worried that he made things worse before you let out a breath neither of you knew you were holding.

“You’re right Bakugou-Kun. Thank you.” You took another couple breaths before the color seemed to return to your face. You weren't sure why, but Bakugou's yelling always seemed to ground you when you began to panic. Whether in class for a test, or in the field for training. Even if he didn't know it, and wasn't even screaming at you. Something about it always made your brain stop and slow down.

That was part of the reason you were even in class this early anyways. That thought made your eyes widen. Where did that paper go?!

“Tch, whatever. You were freaking out for no reason, it pissed me off,” he responded nonchalantly. He noticed that your eyes started to search the room. He found what you were probably looking for, the paper from earlier, near the blackboard. “This what you're looking for?” 

He started to walk over to it, stopping when you let out a squeak.

“You don't have to grab it for me Bakugou, I can get it myself.” You were pushing yourself up quickly in an attempt to stop him. But he didn’t stop.

“Sit back down you shitty girl! Its a piece of paper you idiot, also stop calling me Bakugou.” He growled out. You were prepared to argue with him over the paper, but the last thing he said stopped you in your tracks.

“What should I call you then?” Your brows furrowed,

“My name, katsuki, dumbass.” it was then that he knelt down to pick up the paper.

“Katsuki..” You tested the name out, enjoying how it sounded in your mouth. Unaware he felt the same way, he looked the paper over, but at this point, you were too distracted with the name change to remember that you didn't want him to see it. “Why do you want me to call you by your first name?”

Your question went unanswered, causing you to cock your head.

Bakugou had recognized his name written neatly at the top, and read through the love letter. The love letter that had your name written neatly at the bottom.

Reality slapped you in the face once more and your heart dropped into your stomach.

“(Y/n),” His face was almost matched his eyes as he looked back at you, and blood quickly rushed to your own face so that it matched his in hue.

“I'm sorry-”

“You could have just texted me. It would have been easier you idiot.” Your wide eyes darted up to meet his.

“What?’ You stuttered the simple word and watched as he crumpled the paper, tossing it into the wastebasket across the room perfectly.

“Did that idiot steel your brain cells or something? I’m saying I’ll go out with you, stupid girl!”

“Oh,” A soft smile fell upon your lips, “I’m glad.”

“Well of course you are! I'm THE Katsuki Bakugou, any girl would be lucky to have me.” He huffed, crossing his arms as you giggled. He looked away from you trying to hide his blush and spotted the jerk that was still snoozing away on the floor. You followed his eyes and sighed,

“What should we do with him?” You asked,

“There's 20 minutes before class starts,” Katsuki stated, his eyes meeting yours. You paused and furrowed your brows.

“...So?”

“Let's go get some breakfast.” he stuck his hands into his pocket and started to walk.

“We’re just leaving him?” You rushed after him, careful to not step on the 3rd year.

“Yeah, you have a problem with that?” He growled, you just smiled wider and hooked your arm around his.

“Not at all,” You pressed a kiss to his cheek, laughing at the way his face turned red once more.

***

[jholden23]

Fandom

Here I am.  I’m the person that said that thing.  You know what I’m talking about, everyone does.  Screencapped and taken from my Twitter profile, given a different context and reposted with all kinds of connotation that wasn’t intended.  I’ve spent the last couple of days being villainized by the supernatural fandom.  I’ve been around this fandom long enough to know that this isn’t going to change anything.  The people that do this sort of thing to others all the time won’t be changed.  I’ve learned that this fandom loves nothing more than a villian, and I’ve been handed that role.  So get your screencapping and reposting with “oh now she’s saying this” ready, because I feel like I just want to explain my headspace and how everything got blown out of proportion, resulting in me being called all kinds of things from ‘hateful’ to ‘evil’ to ‘jealous’ and much worse and then being ceremoniously marched out of the SPN fandom. And I’m sure there’s more to come.

This story actually starts a while after I entered the fandom around 5 years ago.  I was surprised to find what seems to be large amounts of people using all kinds of little things said and done by the boys, the other cast and even the production staff of the show to belittle, argue and try and force points on people or use things they like or don’t like to hate other people or broad sections of the fandom.  

They screencap and call out people, hate on actors, their wives, their kids even.  This kind of thing has always made me upset.  Everyone has things they like or don’t like.  Everyone has things they DO like.  I never understood why people can’t just move along if they don’t agree.  Life is interesting because people have different opinions on things.  Not everyone has to agree, but I always felt name calling and passive aggressive posting never helped, it just made some people feel powerful while others felt helpless.

It started feeling like people pay all of this money to go to cons just to try and find things to prove their point.  “---- looked at ----- this way, I was there and I saw it, that has to mean that they feel ------ about ------” or “----- said ------ in my ------ op and they must mean that they -----------, it was such a special moment”.  Positive or negative.  If it was positive it was quickly taken by someone else and made negative.  It seems to be getting more and more prevalent.  Ops taken to make someone happy with a certain prop or thing or look and then another section jumps all over it and says nasty things about the person that did it.  They call the fans disrespectful.  They say that the actors shouldn’t be treated that way.  When the actors don’t want to do something, they call them terrible things too.  

But, I have always felt that the actors have a right to refuse something if they want.  They are being paid to do a job.  Just like anyone else at work, if they want to refuse to do something, they can.  But at the same time, the cons have actors, acting.  We fell in love with them because of the stories they delivered from fictional characters.  The relationships they built on and off screen.  And when we take our love to the cons, they’re still actors. When they hold those props, do whatever it is we ask them, they’re acting.  I don’t see that as a bad thing.  And I really don’t think that whatever is happening or they’re being asked for that they go home and dwell on it.  If they see something they don’t like, I’m sure they just move on and don’t give it another thought.  I could be wrong here, but that’s my opinion.  If you’re in a line of work where you are constantly criticized and highly publicized (like acting), you can’t be dwelling on every little thing.  You just can’t. This skill would need to carry over to cons.

I’ve strayed from my point.  

JIB this year made me very upset within the Supernatural fandom.  It seemed more than normal, people were pulling every little thing said and done in an op, asked as a question, every exchanged anything between actors and fans or actors and actors and using it to “prove” this or that.  And to bad mouth other sections of the fandoms.  

Then the girl with the Destiel shirt was being villainized all over the place.  I felt bad for this poor girl (little did I know I’d soon take her place).  She has something she likes. It got noticed.  Lots of people feel the same way. [Just to be clear, I neither ‘ship’ Destiel or Wincest nor am I homophobic - it seems you are one of those three in this fandom]. She got called all kinds of things and people were screaming at each other about this and that.  Calling people names.  Trying to impose every little detail to make a point.

Then someone I really respect in the fandom got involved and took a side.  I got really upset, both sad and angry.  It made me so sad that something as simple as a t-shirt that made someone happy could create so much hate.  Now, I don’t know what Jensen really thinks, or Misha, or anyone, but I really doubted that anyone is crying all the way home from the stage of a con because of a t-shirt (except maybe the person that was wearing it because of the fan reaction).  They’re probably not even giving it a second thought.  I’m of the opinion that they don’t care about this trivial stuff that fans make huge deals out of all the time (hence not giving a solitary fuck).  The actors are paid very well to put on a show for fans.  People pay lots of money for it (myself included) and they enjoy this show.  With all of the things in my mind that I’ve already said, and out of anger and sadness, I felt the need to say something, just a simple tweet.  I didn’t want to even specify a fandom (because there are other fandoms like this too).  I didn’t want to call out a section of the fandom to be accused of taking sides, because I feel like any group can seem to find ammunition if the right personalities start yelling. So I tweeted what I did.  So now, thinking about what you just read, go read ‘the tweet’ again.

I’ll wait.

It’s not about so and so being a bad person, or that your interactions don’t mean anything. The people that know me and know that I often lace everything I say with heavy profanity and that I run my fat mouth when I get upset didn’t even blink at this.  They know what I’m talking about.  I talk about this kind of thing all the time. Usually with a little more context than the tweets that got sent.

There’s no denying that cons are expensive.  I use the term ‘stupid expensive’ all the time.  But I still go.  I buy ops. I go to whatever I can.  I was just in Vegas in March.  I am just as stupid as I was reflecting on anyone else.  And the people that know me and have followed me for a long time should know that.  But when something is taken off of someone's timeline, all context is lost.  Specifically, in this instance, I was inferring those who spend all that money to just incite hate within the fandom, however.

Anyone paying attention can’t deny that the actors at cons make a ton of money.  I have never, and will never say that makes them bad people.  They’re smart.  They have something that sells.  Their act.  The show outside the show.  But suddenly I’m being told that I said that they are terrible people.  That’s not what I said.  I don’t believe that in any way.  Since when does making money and putting on a show make someone evil?  That’s why we’re here to start with.  Because of a show that they were in that we loved.  There’s lots of stuff that the actors have done that’s amazing.  Charity work and all kinds of things (this document is already long enough without that list).  But that doesn’t mean that they’re not making a lot of money at cons.  And that does not make them bad people. And for the thousandth time, I didn’t say it did.

I got angry and upset arguing with people that did and still are calling me terrible things, saying nasty things and insinuating all kinds of inaccurate things.  Claiming that I ruined lives in 480 characters worth of text.  

I became frustrated because once something gets picked up by the ‘big influencers’ in this fandom, the wolves are out for blood.  The hate machine is rolling downhill, knives and pitchforks are out. I’ve seen it countless times.  It didn’t matter what I said, there was still people attacking me directly or indirectly.  Becoming more and more angry I argued back.  I did specify SPN was my main impetus when someone asked me directly, even though I had tried to keep it neutral.  But no one was listening when I was trying to explain.  They only saw the worst of what was posted, the connotation I was not trying to say.  I locked my account, deleted the tweet in question and posted another angry message, this time directed at the fandom at large.  I don’t usually delete tweets because I feel like people should be able to have conversations about things.  But this was not happening, the oven was set to ‘destroy’ and I was inside.  It wouldn’t have mattered if I deleted it anyway.  So I argued.

A word about the ops and actors acting and then I’ll go away forever from the SPN fandom.  

Yes, I do believe that actors are ‘on’ all the time, acting.  I’m a teacher.  When I’m hanging out with my friends I drink and swear and tell bad jokes.  Sitting on my couch or at the pub I’m the ‘real’ me.  Last night I had a gig with a jazz band that I play with in the evenings where there was a bar that sold booze.  I had three students attend the gig to listen to the music.  Although I would usually be my normal self around the band that I played with last night, I didn’t swear and didn’t drink.  Why? Because I had students there.  I don’t feel this is any different with actors.  

They are ‘on’ when there’s fans around.  They have to be careful what they say and do.  Look at what’s happened when they’re not (see tweets calling out customer service).  They’re still them, but them ‘lite’.  If they’re frustrated, they’re not going to react the same way they would at home.  They just can’t in the public eye and they know it.  They have to save some of themselves for their families and their private times.  I still talk to my students in a very ‘me’ way, but there’s always that little bit that I keep for my friends and family.  It’s my opinion that actors are the same way.  That doesn’t make them bad.  It makes them human.

Finally, as far as ops and interactions at cons or anywhere else; what difference does it make if the actors are acting?  Did you enjoy it?  Is it special to you?  Good.  That’s what you paid for.  I have had plenty of interaction with this cast, other actors and musicians that made me happy.  Do I think it made them as happy as it made me? Hell no.  Does that make me feel any less happy about it?  Absolutely not.  Do I think they go home and sit on the couch and revel in how amazing my photo op was? I hope not.  I go to sets and watch them film, I chat with them on set, I see them at cons, I buy ops and take photos and all the other things.  But at the end of the day, I take those interactions and keep them in my heart knowing full well that the person on the other side isn’t nearly as excited to meet me as I was them.  And that’s exactly what I expect, believe and love about being a fan.  It’s just the nature of being a fan of someone.  

Do I believe there are people that have made connections? Sure.  Do I believe everyone has to? No.  Do I believe the actors take every op home with them?  No. They have their own lives and families. Are others welcome to believe something different?  Absolutely. I’m not going to tell you what to think.  But no matter what I or you believe, it shouldn’t affect how you see your own interactions.  I saw that I was being accused of ‘taking away’ people's moments.  Not only was that not the intended connotation of that statement (think back to the beginning-people using ops to try and prove the most special thing and use it to alienate parts of fandom) but no one can do that.  No one can take away whatever impact meeting someone had on you.  Especially not a stranger on the internet ranting about something different, but being pigeonholed into something else.

Ok, I’m done here.  Entirely.  I just felt that I deserved a chance to better explain what I was actually trying to say.  I guess I can’t say that I’m surprised that things have turned out this way knowing how this fandom operates and knowing that I tend to get explosive in my language.  I still believe in what I said in the context I was trying to state it.  But not everyone knows me well enough to put my own personality to it and realize what was actually being said.  Everyone else just pulls out my words and throws context of their own on them, shining a different coloured light on my words and using it to create hate.  

However, I likely should have provided some more context to my words.  In my head the intention was clear.  

But that said, I didn’t want to insult anyone or assume create problems.

I can’t wait to see all the names I’ll get called for this.  Actually, it’s not going to matter.  I already know and after being the target of the hate, I’ll be checking out of it.  I’ve already become a punchline.  If that what it takes to make people happy, fine.  I’ll be the sacrifice.  I’m still going to enjoy everything I did before, going to cons, going to sets, taking photos and sharing stories, but I’ll do it one on one.  I wouldn’t want to start a fight.

Oh and before someone beats me to it, no I did not enjoy Season 14.  No I do not like the character of Jack.  No, I’m not going to villainize people who feel differently.  While my opinion is different it doesn’t make it more right than someone else’s.  But that’s the beauty of life.  Opinions make things interesting.

Just like people's opinion of me.  You can still think what you want.  Maybe I am a villain.  Maybe I am a bad person.  I’m just me, though. And we’re all a work in progress. 

A wise band teacher one said ‘If you’re holding out for universal popularity, you’re going to be waiting a long time.’  

Be nice to each other, #SPNFamily, I’ll be looking in the window from outside.

[majesticmarais]

Celebrity Crushing (D.S)

Summary:  Y/n’s celebrity crush and recent friend, Dylan O’Brien, strikes a hint of jealousy in her boyfriend, which leads to a heated argument

Warnings? Just some swearing as usual and I didn’t proof read so potential typos

Word Count: 2.1k

A/n: I haven’t written an imagine in literally FOREVER so this is probably actual garbage. Anywho I hope the few of you who are still active enjoy reading this :) I also have to redo the tag list because I forgot who’s on it so let me know if you want to be added!

"Do I look okay?” you asked Daniel when you saw his figure appear in the reflection behind you as you smoothed out the shirt you had just put on.

“Beautiful as always, where are you going?” he asked.

“Didn’t I already tell you?” you asked, being pretty sure you already mentioned your plans, “Dylan invited me over with some people, just a casual hang out.”

“So why do you care about looking good?” Daniel asked, laughing slightly as he rested his head on your shoulder, placing a gentle kiss in the crook of your neck.

“I don’t know, because they’re all like...popular and cooler than me,” you joked, turning around and getting your things ready to be able to go meet everyone.

“Not true, are really cool boyfriends allowed?” he asked, raising his eyebrows at you suggestively.

“I didn’t ask Dyl, but I could if you want me to,” you shrugged. 

Daniel felt a tinge of jealousy rise when he heard the nickname you had given to Dylan. He didn’t care that you were friends with other guys, you were super close with all the other band members and had guy friends of your own, but Dylan was different.

He had been your celebrity crush for the longest time. Being a huge fan of Teen Wolf and the Maze Runner series as well, Dylan O’Brien was someone you lowkey fangirled over, and Daniel knew it.

He never had a problem with it, because obviously everyone has celebrity crushes, and Daniel found it almost amusing how you reacted when you saw pictures or watched him on screen.

You had actually met Dylan for the first time a few months back at an event you both ended up being at. After talking there for a while, you both exchanged numbers and became friends.

Obviously you were ecstatic, and thought he was a really awesome person, but Daniel sometimes had different feelings towards the friendship you and Dylan had started.

“Dyl?” Daniel said under his breath, rolling his eyes a little. He noticed you didn’t hear him, and was sort of grateful for that in the moment.

“He says you can come,” you smiled, reaching your arm out to him, waiting for him to take your hand, “we have to go now though, I’m already gonna be late!”

Dylan opened his front door, cheering loudly when he saw you, pulling you into a tight hug, which you happily reciprocated.

“Hey Daniel,” he grinned, pulling Daniel in for a hug as well before stepping away from the doorway, letting you both through into the beautiful house. You admired the art hanging on the walls as you walked down the hall into the living room, where people were already sprawled out on couches, snacks and drinks in hand.

You and Daniel found a spot on the couch after greeting everyone who had already arrived, and picked up on the conversation they were having.

“Y/N I was actually telling them about when we first met and how we became friends and stuff,” Dylan said as he sat on the other side of you.

“Yeah definitely did not expect to actually become friends but I’m happy we did,” you grinned, hitting his side lightly with your elbow, earning a laugh from him in return.

Dylan grabbed the popcorn bowl you had placed on your lap, shoving a handful in his mouth.

“Asshole did I say you could take that?” you challenged. You reached over to grab it back but Dylan pulled it away, leaving it out of reach.

“I didn’t know I needed your permission,” Dylan teased and you reached again, being unable to reach it from where you were sitting.

You climbed over him, slightly sitting on his lap, grabbing the bowl and throwing a few pieces at his face before taking your spot back beside Daniel, who’s eyebrows were furrowed as he watched your interaction beside him.

“You’re such a shit,” you laughed as Dylan tossed a piece of popcorn back at you, a smirk dancing across his face.

Daniel stayed pretty quiet most of the time, and couldn’t help but get upset over you and Dylan. To him, it always seemed like you were teasing each other flirtatiously, and you had so much to say and laughed at everything Dylan said. Daniel felt as if you forgot he was even there sitting next to you, except for the few times he joined in conversations or you turned back to give him a smile.

You, on the other hand, didn’t think anything of it, but noticed after a while that Daniel was being unusually quiet, and he wasn’t often shy in social situations like this one.

“What’s up?” you mumbled to him, making sure no one was able to hear, but everyone else was talking, so you knew there wouldn’t be a problem.

“Nothing,” he shrugged, not really wanting to get into it because he knew it was stupid for him to be upset over something like this.

“I know you, Danny, it’s not nothing,” you sighed, not wanting him to be passive aggressive with you even though that’s the way things usually started out with him.

“We don’t have to talk about it here,” he replied softly, brushing it off.

“Okay, well we’re leaving soon anyway so we can talk about it then,” you told him before your name was called by someone who was bringing up a funny memory, so your focused returned back on the rest of the group, your hand resting on Daniel’s thigh.

The care ride home was basically silent except for the radio that played lowly in the background. Despite it being set to a low volume, the sound consumed the car, when usually that consuming sound would be the conversations between you and Daniel, or your voice singing at the top of your lungs.

You waited until the two of you walked inside to bring it up to him, knowing you couldn’t let this go anymore. Clearly something was bothering him enough to not even speak on the drive home, and you needed to know what it was.

“Daniel, seriously, just tell me what’s wrong,” you told him, trying to hide the hint of annoyance threatening to be heard in your voice.

“I don’t like him,” Daniel muttered as he disappeared into the kitchen to get water.

You followed, sighing to yourself as you asked who he was talking about even though you felt as though you already knew what his answer would be.

And you were right,

“Why don’t you like Dylan? He’s great,” you asked him, not understanding how their encounter went wrong in any way, and it wasn’t Daniel’s first time meeting him either.

“I don’t like how he is with you,” Daniel specified, looking down at his feet as he shifted his weight back and forth.

“What do you mean?” you asked.

“He flirts with you all the time, and not only do you let him, but you do it right back,” he told you, a sense of irritation shining through as he spoke.

Before you could say anything, he continued.

“It’s as if I’m not even there and I’m especially not your boyfriend. Everything he says is SO funny and it’s like ‘oh my god Dylan you’re hilarious let me ruffle your hair or sit on your lap’“ Daniel spat.

“Okay woah,” you stopped him, lifting your hands up to stop him from going further, “you’re being ridiculous right now you know he’s just my friend.”

“Really? Do friends really act like that, Y/n?” Daniel asked, his voice raising slightly, but he wasn’t screaming, he almost never yelled at you, which you were happy about.

“Yes they do, Daniel! I literally act the exact same way with Jonah, Corbyn, Jack and Zach!” you defended, starting to get annoyed at the way he was acting.

“Its different!” he retaliated.

“How, Daniel? Please fucking educate me,” you spat, crossing your arms over your chest as you looked at him, waiting for a proper explanation that was somewhat reasonable.

“Because I know you find him attractive and have been basically in love with him for years!” Daniel said back, throwing his hands up in frustration as he expressed his feelings.

“Oh my god Daniel so what if I had a little celebrity crush on him, would I freak out every single time you spoke to an attractive and sweet celebrity? It’s platonic Daniel you’re being stupid,” you said, trying to remain calm even though you felt your anger rising.

“Oh so I’m stupid?” he asked.

“Yeah, right now you are. You’re being stupid by thinking I’m flirting with Dylan when I’m literally just trying to be friends with someone who I like to hang out with. It’s not that deep, you’re looking so far into every little move and this new possessive shit isn’t a good look on you,” you replied, not wanting to look into his eyes.

“What’s going on?” you heard a familiar voice say from behind you, and you noticed Jonah when you turned around, his eyebrows furrowed as he heard the last part of your conversation.

“Nothing,” you sighed, “I’m going upstairs.”

“Be careful Jonah,” you added, putting your hand on his shoulder and looking back at Daniel, “I might suck your dick because I laugh when you say something funny,” you said sarcastically, scoffing as you walked off, leaving the boys in the kitchen.

“What was that?” Jonah asked, feeling even more confused now than when he first walked in.

“Nothing,” Daniel groaned, “I got mad at her because we went to Dylan’s house and I got jealous.”

“Dude,” Jonah sighed, trying to hide a small laugh from escaping him.

“Go talk to her,” Jonah urged, “don’t be mad over a dude she’s friends with. She’s dating you, man, not him. You aren’t like this with the rest of us when we’re with her, so don’t be that way about him either.”

Daniel took Jonah’s advice and thanked him before jogging upstairs, opening the door a crack to look for you, and saw you lying on your stomach on your bed, head resting on the pillow.

“Can we talk?” Daniel asked as he walked in, “less petty and angry this time.”

“Whatever,” you muttered into your pillow, moving over so Daniel could sit next to you, which he did.

“Look, I’m sorry baby, I know I was stupid,” Daniel started, knowing he needed to give up the fight if he wanted any chance of you forgiving him in the near future.

“I just got upset because he was your celebrity crush and we always made jokes that you would leave me for him if he asked you to. I guess it was more insecurity than jealousy. I don’t hate him, in fact I think he’s awesome, and that makes me worried you’ll stop loving me because you love him,” Daniel confessed, not liking revealing his true feelings to you, but he knew it had to be done.

“Daniel, those are just jokes, you know that,” you started, “you know I would never actually leave you for Dylan O’Brien, he’s amazing, yeah, and I’m really happy I get to build a friendship with him but I would never choose him over you.”

“Really?” Daniel asked. This time the question wasn’t aggressive and challenging, but soft and full of hope.

“Really,” you confirmed, “you’re the one I love, Daniel. Yeah he’s my friend and was my celebrity crush but he’s just a friend, you have nothing to worry about. But you can’t do this every time I see him because I do want to be friends with him and you need to support that.”

“I do, I do support that,” Daniel nodded, “I don’t know I guess watching you guys today got the better of me. You have the right to be friends with whoever you want, don’t listen to your idiot boyfriend.”

“We all doubt ourselves sometimes, Danny, it’s okay. I’m sorry for getting angry too instead of just listening. Let’s not fight about this okay, this isn’t us,” you comforted, reaching out to take his hand into yours.

“Fight over,” he agreed, pressing a kiss to your temple before moving down to your lips. The kiss was full of love and forgiveness, and you knew everything was okay.

“Dylan O’Brien is hot as fuck though you have to admit,” you joked, winking at Daniel before he pushed you, letting a laugh out.

“Honestly, Y/n, I would have to agree.

Tags: @poutyavery @samithepixie @essentialseavey @corbynscabbitch @whydontwe-fanfics (I DID IT!!) @jackaverybabe @ijustreallylovethem @lovableherron @zaddydaniel @blueeyedbesson 

[marypsue]

the one where summer and wendy fight about self-destruction

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Summer lies flat on her back, staring up at the ceiling.

The hospital room is never actually quiet. There’s always something beeping outside the door, always somebody talking or laughing or calling out in the hall, always, always, even when everything else stops, the low constant thrum of machines in motion.

Still, somehow, the empty room is oppressively silent.

Beep.

Summer shifts onto her right side, her face to the window, head sinking into the divot in the little flat pillow. The streetlight outside glares directly down into her face through the slats in the curtain. 

Beep. 

Summer turns over onto her left side, shifting her hand so that the IV isn’t crushed against the bed. The liquid pulsing into her arm through the huge fucking needle in her hand is cold, and she tugs the thin blanket farther up over her shoulders. It takes three tries. 

Beep.

She lies still, listening to her own breathing and the call bells outside her room and the whir and occasional clunk of the air conditioning.

Beep.

“What the hell, Summer!”

“Oh. Okay. We’re going with confrontational after all,” Tina says, in that deadpan monotone that makes it impossible to tell whether she’s fucking hilarious or just really, really boring. 

Wendy doesn’t seem to notice, or maybe care. She crosses the hospital room in two steps to glower down at Summer, one hand twitching at her hip where she usually carries that stupid axe. Summer’s head is still spinning too hard for her to give a shit and the IV port in her hand hurts like a motherfucker. Wendy can take her self-righteous bullshit right back out to the nurses’ station and let Summer sleep.

“Oh my god,” she mutters, throwing up an arm to shade her eyes. “Can you shift, like, three inches to the right? Then you’ll be completely blocking the hall light.”

"You -" Wendy starts, and then spins to put her back to Summer's bed with a sound that Summer would peg somewhere between a huff and a scream.

"Hi, Summer," Tina says, waving from the doorway. "How're you feeling."

"Like shit," Summer says. "What are you two doing here?"

"I think we're making sure you're all right," Tina says.

"Nope. Change of plans," Wendy snaps, the sarcasm in her voice lashing like a whip. "We're gonna kill her."

"Yeah, yeah, love you too," Summer mutters into her pillow, rolling over.

"I mean it, Summer!" There's a moment of ominous silence before Wendy says, low and deliberate and tight, "What the hell were you thinking?"

"I was having fun, Corduroy. Maybe you've, like, heard of it?"

"Well, I'm sorry my definition of 'fun' doesn't include putting myself and a teenager in the ER!"

"Maybe we can just...talk things over," Tina suggests, quietly, to no one in particular, somewhere under the yelling. "Maybe this is the beginning of a productive dialogue. Getting our feelings out in the open."

"Well, I'm sorry you're boring!"

"Oh yeah, what, you're gonna insult me and I'm just gonna get distracted and drop it?" Wendy laughs. It's not a happy laugh. "Seriously, are you trying to hurt yourself? Because that's what it's starting to look like!"

"Oh. Yeah. Because axe-throwing is such a safe, normal sport. Because you've never done anything dangerous that could fuck you up if it went wrong. God, you're such a fucking hypocrite! You're all such a bunch of stupid fucking hypocrites!"

Wendy makes this little aborted noise like she was about to yell something back, but stopped herself. "Okay, I've put up with a lot of your crap, but you crossed a line tonight, Summer. Hollyhock had to have her stomach pumped, she still hasn't woken up -"

"Yeah, well, how is it, like, my fault she can't handle her liquor?"

"She's fourteen years old, you -" Wendy cuts herself off with another frustrated shout, and Summer sits bolt upright in bed even though it makes her head spin.

"You what? You what? Come on, Corduroy, screw your Y-7 rating! Bring it on! Call me a bitch like I know you really want to!"

"Why do you always do this? Why do you always have to push people like this?" Wendy tugs at her short red hair, pacing back and forth beside the hospital bed. "The messed up thing is that I actually like myself when I'm not around you. But you - you just - argh!"

"I what? Bring out the worst in you? Ever consider that, like, maybe you don't need any help with that?"

Wendy is dangerously silent and still for a moment.

Then she kicks the base of Summer's IV stand so hard it topples to the floor and starts to let out a godawful earsplitting beep, and storms out of the room.

"Wow," Tina observes, monotone, over the beeping. "You really pissed her off."

"Yeah, so?" Summer snaps, turning over on her side so she doesn't have to look at Tina's stupid face. "Aren't you gonna, like, go running after her like the useless hanger-on you are?"

"Okay, that was hurtful," Tina says, still in that monotone almost-whisper. Summer throws a pillow at her. Or, at least, in her general direction. She doesn't look to see if her projectile found its mark. "Wendy has a point. You're always trying to push people. Do you think, if you hurt them first and worst, that they can't hurt you? Or are you just trying to show them how bad you really are so they'll leave before you get too attached, instead of after it's too late?"

"You've been reading too much fanfiction, Belcher," Summer groans. "Stop trying to psychoanalyse me, okay? I love people. All I want in the world is to be fun and popular and have lots of friends, obviously. Wendy's just being a megabitch, and I'm so super sick of it."

"If you say so," Tina says. "So then obviously you'd want me to stay."

Summer groans and reaches out for her pillow to bury her face in, remembering too late that she'd thrown it at Tina. The IV port in her hand is throbbing, now, and her arm is really tangled up in the cord hooked on the fallen IV stand.

"Tina," she's finally forced to admit, "I need your help."

"Oh," Tina says. Her eyes dart from right to left, hands coming up to clutch each other in front of her chest, like an old lady with a purse or a velociraptor. Compysag-whatever. Dinosaur. "I...didn't actually think I'd get this far."

"Oh my god. Not with my, like, personality or whatever! Come help me untangle this IV!"

...

The hospital keeps her until ten o'clock, and then kicks her out.

Wendy’s waiting in the waiting room, leaning against the wall. She kicks herself up and falls into step beside Summer as Summer passes by on her way to the door. They don’t look at each other. Wendy doesn’t say anything, and Summer doesn’t either.

The first time either of them says anything is when they pile into Wendy’s terrible old beater and Wendy cranks the radio. It’s the most stupidly passive-aggressive move, and Summer has to roll her eyes. “Oh my god. Whatever it is, just spit it out.”

Wendy lets out a long, too-loud breath. 

“I can’t keep this up,” she says. “You have to get your drinking under control, or I’m out.”

Summer stares out the window. They haven’t started moving yet, so she’s just looking at a bunch of parked cars like a dumbass.

“Fine,” she says. “Whatever. Is that it? Can we go?”

“Summer, I’m serious,” Wendy says. “You need to - talk to somebody, or, or something. I can’t keep catching you when you obviously just want to crash and burn.”

“God, you’re no fun anymore,” Summer sighs, flopping her head against the window. “Who said I wanted you to catch me?”

“Nobody,” Wendy mutters. “It doesn’t take a genius to figure out you just want to drag me down with you.”

Summer sucks in an angry breath through her nose, holds it.

“Fine,” she says, and slams the car door open. “You know what, I’ll just take the bus.”

She doesn’t look back as she storms between the rows of cars, but she hears Wendy’s engine rattle to life. A few seconds later, the red rustbucket rumbles past her, heading for the parkade exit. 

It doesn’t stop as it passes Summer. It doesn’t even slow down.

[galivantingg]

Behind Those Eyes

Chapter 2

The first few months of school passed mostly uneventfully. Some of our old friends came back to surprise us, but then things started picking up and the few that had stayed in the city became too busy for pleasantries. Soon it became a flurry of portfolios and essays and lots of paper. The few that were left in maths and sciences were slowly losing their minds over concepts I couldn't even pronounce. But let's be honest, what writer doesn't have a little trouble pronouncing words? We can read them, not speak them. I didn't think twice about the peace, too wrapped up in words and paper to worry about the fact that some of the villains like Heathen and Genocide hadn't reared their ugly heads since that fire in the beginning of the year.

"I'm home," I called, walking into the orphanage. I heard little feet charging forwards and the familiar face of little Mason showed from around the corner. I smiled when I saw him and dropped down to one knee, opening my arms wide. 

"Neth!" He said, running full force into me. I almost fell backwards, not expecting that much weight behind his little body. I usually stay at the cave during the summers, being First Respondent. It's easier for me, but I miss the little ones too much. Helen, the woman who ran this orphanage, had her son during the summer, and named him Jason. I only got to meet him a couple times, but now that I had officially moved back to the orphanage I'll be able to help out much more. The older ones, me Nellie and Noah helped Helen a lot. She can't afford to pay any staff so we do what we can.

It doesn't help that no couples adopt any of us, and that we got a new kid. His name is Emmett, and he's a year old. He likes Noah especially, and Cassie. Cassie is part of the middle aged kids, she's seven. There's also Oliver, Owen, and the twins, Eden and Elliot. Ophelia and Kimberly, more fondly known as Lia and Lee respectfully, just graduated the middle aged kids and now are officially part of the older kids. They liked the status at first, until they realised all the responsibility that came along with it. 

Go figure.

I pick Mason up and walk towards the kitchen, wondering where everyone is. The answer is the kitchen. When I walk in they're all gathered there, standing around a cake. "Surprise!" They yelled, setting off some confetti poppers and tooting small horns. My smile broadened. 

"What's all this for?" I put Mason down and he runs to Helen. I put my arms around the twins as the run up and latch onto a leg each.

"We decided today was your random birthday, since you still haven't told us when it is." Helen explained. She turned to the cake and started dividing up the pieces between all of us, and Nell grabbed the ice cream from the freezer, scooping it out. I love this messy family of mine, and I wouldn't trade them in for anything. 

That night I thought a lot about my real family. My birth family. Of small eyes, dark curly hair, white teeth, small fingernail. Small clothes, soft mornings with sunlight peeking through the window and giggles. Of pillow fights and strawberries and stargazing and then came the hiding. The fear, the anger. The long game of hide and seek where if we're found we'd be dead. Of hushed whispers and angry looks and fear and fear and fear and hiding. Then, the calm. The calm before the storm. Slight giggles coming out again, strawberries, bright clothing. Then lightning. Pain and hurting and smoke and fire and heat and screaming and dying.

I hadn't realized I had started crying until I felt them dripping down my cheeks and onto my legs. I slowly shifted, body getting smaller, skin getting darker, pink in some areas, patches of hair growing where it could. And no vision. Blackness. Empty. Dark. Afraid.

Nothing.

. . .

School was going well, surprisingly. I was still First Respondent, but the villains weren't doing much. There were a couple incidents with Peculiar, but other than that, it was quiet. It drew suspscions, even the civilians were becoming wary. Everyone was tense and on edge. This prompted a meeting with the Director, which unfortunately occurred during the middle of our Induction Briefing.

The Director has impeccable timing.

He made it a Seniors Only meeting, which of course drew even more questions. "Listen up people," the Director said, sitting in Waya's seat. I refused to sit in my seat, still harboring a deep hatred for the man behind all my pain and suffering, and the others followed my lead. "The villains are too quiet, we need to do something. I want you to arrange a strike team, use whoever you want, I don't care."

I snorted, not surprised. I wasn't quiet either. He looked at me with barely concealed annoyance. We were always butting heads, but never like this. It was always passive aggressive. "Something you'd like to add, Chameleon?" He asked, not expecting me to answer. But he pissed me off this time, with his apathy. 

"Yes, actually," I snapped. I heard Waya sigh and ignored him, feeling Aella's wind reassuringly on the back of my neck. "These are people's lives, show some respect. We are not toy soldiers you can throw at a problem and everything will be fixed. Treat us properly, because if you give an order for a strike and one of us gets injured then it's on you." I was breathing heavily and felt Houdini squeeze my shoulder lightly, telling me that they were all behind me. Literally and figuratively. 

The Director was now angry, good. He's stupid when he's angry. He stood up, re buttoning his jacket and took a few steps towards us. I stiffened my posture, knowing better than to relax. Our fight was just getting started. "Don't pretend to know better than me, girl." He spat the last word, and my temper flared. How dare he.

"Don't pretend to care more for these people, boy," I retorted. He looked taken aback. He was younger than he looked, and nobody but the two of us knew that. He opened his mouth to yell at me but I held up a hand, effectively shutting him up. "You've never cared for the welfare of those who joined your company. You didn't even want to pay them at first. I had to force you to."

I heard a could gasps behind us and slightly regretted exposing that. Then I was filled with more rage. How dare he still be in charge after all these years? He and his Scientist walk around like they are kings, not caring for the people who do everything for them. "We risk our lives every time we go out there, protecting you, might I add." I jabbed a finger at his chest and watched as his eyes lit up with metaphorical fire. 

He lifted his head the the ceiling and said "Computer, erase Chameleon from database." I scoffed, and crossed my arms, waiting for the computer to respond. 

"Unable to erase Chameleon. You don't have a high enough security clearance." The Director looked shocked, then angry again. 

"Enter Thomas, Ryan K." There was a ding, and the computer waited for the next order. "Erase Chameleon." That still wasn't going to work.

"Unable to erase Chameleon. You don't have a high enough security clearance." 

I swooped in, my plan in action. My plan that I came up with three seconds ago. It's a great plan. "Computer," I said loudly and clearly. Everyone looked at me. "Erase Thomas, Ryan K."

"Thomas, Ryan K. AKA the Director, erased." I looked at the Director with an eyebrow raised. 

"How dare you-!" he sputtered. His face was slowly turning purple and he finally lost control and charged at me, fists raised. 

"Computer, intruder alert!" I called out, scrambling backwards. The alarm went off and a section of the floor opened up and swallowed him whole. The floor resealed itself and the alarm turned off. "Computer, add Thomas, Ryan K. AKA the Director to database." I turned around to face the others and was met by shocked expressions all around. "What?" I asked.

Waya sighed again and Aella started cracking up. "You can't just un-add the Director to prove a point Cammie," Starbright said, dropping her head into her hands. I could see her shoulders shaking and knew I wasn't in too much trouble. Legion snickered and held up his hand for a high five. I looked over at Houdini and she was just standing there shaking slightly from laughter. Geronimo wiped away a few tears then took her seat. We still had a meeting to sort through.

"Okay okay guys," Waya said, taking his rightful place in his seat. "Let's get to business. We do have to do something about the villains." We all sobered up pretty quickly. I didn't want to do this, but I knew they were planning something. At least Waya actually cared about our lives. 

. . . 

My heart hummed in my chest, beating a tune too fast to hear properly. The meeting was sombre, we knew there were going to be problems. That's why it's a Seniors only mission. Waya, Aella, Houdini, Legion, Me, Starbright and Geronimo. Just the original seven, minus Swallow. Oh god, Swallow. I haven't thought about him in so long. Swallow was one of the first heroes inducted into the Agency. He was actually the first person that realised that I lived in the cave. Swallow was a kind soul, so so kind, and he was stolen away from us too soon. He ended up being one of Genocide's victims, that time it was everyone named Matthew. 

It hit Legion the hardest. Poor Kevin, he was best friends with Matthew since they were really little. It was hard on all of us really, us and the outside world. They had built us up like gods, and then when Matthew died they lost a little bit of faith in us. That was two years ago now, when we were on a similar mission. You see why I got so mad now? The Director doesn't care, he never has and he never will. 

I make my way to the Training Pit, and settle myself on the edge, my legs dangling over. I leaned back on the palms of my hands, tilting my head up the the ceiling. All I could was think. Think about a lot of things. Like how devastated Kevin was when we found Matthew's body. Genocide's victims don't have any telltale marker. They look like they're sleeping. But all Aella or I could do was stand in horror as Kevin wailed and sobbed into his dead best friend's body.

I never want to see that again. I felt anger well up inside me again. Anger for so many different things. Anger at my friends, for not knowing how lucky they are, angry at the civilians I vowed to protect, for building us up so high and not catching us when we fell, and at the Director. Anger at the Director for taking advantage of young kids, because that's what they are; kids. Legion is barely in his twenties, Geronimo is still in high school. Hell I'm still in high school. Anger at him for wanting us to do this for free, for thinking that we would sacrifice our bodies with no promise of compensation for our families. 

Anger for murdering my entire family. Heat and smoke and pain and tears flood my senses. I can't hear, I can't feel, I can't see. I realise I'm having a panic attack and try to slow my breathing. It doesn't work.

Martha finds me however later it is, curled up in a ball violently sobbing into my arms. She says nothing, knowing at this point that I get panic attacks. She gathers me up in her arms, rocking me back and forth, taking long deep breaths. I force myself to match her pace. I feel everything, my toes, my calves, my hip digging into my best friend, my shoulders, my eyebrows slowly relaxing. I feel her hand in my hair, I hear her voice speaking. I couldn't hear the words but I could hear the soft drone and knew she was telling me one of her stories, just filling the silence. 

Slowly my breathing evened out and my tears dried. I gently uncurled myself from her and leaned into her side. We sat there, side by side, thinking and hating and wishing and hoping.

[deyadee]

Bottling

When I was younger, more specifically in 3rd-4th grade, I thought I had an anger management problem. I became a bully and blocked out everyone for a reason I still can’t remember. From 5th through 8th grade I had my outbursts but I was nowhere near as bad as I once was. I still wish I could go back and apologize to everyone I was such a horrific bitch to, even the people I felt were at least partially deserving of it. I hate thinking back to those days to the people who just wanted to help me and be my friend.

After years of thinking I’ve become some kind of Saint and learned my lesson from then, I realized today that I actually have the opposite problem.

My family fights a lot. Not in an abusive or manipulative way, it’s just that my sisters have this innate hatred for one another that they can never quench. I may spend more time with them than a normal person my age but I know damn well they fight more than average siblings. They will have screaming matches over the simplest of things, they don’t listen to what you ask them to, they go out of their way to deliberately make each other’s lives miserable. If it weren’t for my and my parents’ constant efforts, they would take every opportunity to tear each other down and exclude them.

Though when they fight, the main problem is, I will do everything in my power to ignore it. I will bottle up and repress my feelings for as long as possible. I won’t scream until I have veins popping from my head and ready to strangle both of them. I won’t tell them to stop until I’m at my wits end and explode out at them.

Through my own past experiences- I’ve learned that showing negative emotions never ends well.

Anger- As I admitted earlier, I still can’t get over all the people I shut out because of my anger. Even afterwards I still can’t over the random outbursts I would have that would result in awkward stares and eye rolls. All the people who looked at me like I was a fucking ape in a cage. So I nearly never get angry now. My sisters will be in the car next to me, and they’ll just keep screaming and screaming and screaming and screaming over the smallest most insignificant things that you could ever give a shit about, and since I don’t want to get angry and get involved I just stay silent. I stay quiet and just hope it blows over or my parents say something to tame their mongrel children. I just want them to shut the fuck up. I don’t like cussing in front of my parents and unless it’s a string of curses my sisters completely ignore what I say. I can’t stand conflict but I don’t want to contribute to it. Whenever I contribute to an argument or try to stop it, it just makes all the blame shift to me.

I hate getting angry in public because I let it bottle up for too long until I’m too angry to keep quiet. Then everyone around me looks at me weirdly like I’m a fucking two year old for getting mildly angry. The constant fucking stares. I can’t get angry otherwise outsiders will think I’m a fucking baby throwing a tantrum. I can’t try to bottle it up because every time I try to bury my anger my parents constantly ask those passive aggressive jokes like “Are you seriously getting angry at a child? Are you having an argument with a kid? Are you losing a battle to a jacket? Are you going to cry over a little mistake?” God nothing makes me more infuriated than trying to describe why I’m angry because my parents treat me like a stupid fucking ape for wanting to explain why I’m angry. Keep fucking laughing you assholes.

It took me until now to realize how much I bottle my emotions. I always see anger as embarrassing and bad and rude so I do everything in my power to hide it. I hate everyone taking advantage of me being vulnerable or thinking I’m some emotional baby who can’t take rejection so I never cry in front of people. I hate being reminded of crying in front of the whole cafeteria so I try everything to not cry. My parents call me a pussy for being scared of stuff and not liking things so I hide my fears. My family jokes about me being a crybaby so I never get jealous or get upset about my own shortcomings. I hate them criticizing every time I fall behind even slightly so I constantly lie about my grades and every aspect of my life so they won’t chastise me for every tiny thing.

I can’t show any emotion around anyone unless it’s shared hatred or happiness. Nothing else is acceptable. Even joy isn’t accepted when it’s something they don’t like. I’ve tried telling them about this problem before and they just respond with “Oh, so you don’t want us to make jokes anymore? You want us to censor everything we say? You’re too weak to take a joke?” So I just keep lying about every problem I have so they don’t give me that bullshit answer anymore.

I’m never good enough for them. I don’t care if they say I am. I’m not.

[java-induced-daymares]

I feel like you get a different perspective when you were the 'mistake'. The 'oh my God she's only fifteen', baby. My mom was the preacher's daughter, and very eighties. I'm the preacher's granddaughter, and extremely nineties. My mom is more like my sister-friend, while my five year junior sister tells everyone I practically raised her. I just feel responsible for everyone. For everything. I was the tester baby. The starter grandchild. Everything I did wrong, it was the worst, most unexpected thing. I paved the way for all the shrugs and acceptance every sibling and other grandkid had doled out practically for free. And got slammed with all the guilt and the shunning.

To be fair I was quite rebellious. I smoked, drank, experimented with drugs. Skipped class, and barely passed high school despite aceing every test and final they threw at me. Scored a solid 29 on the ACT, didn't even study. In fact, I left half the math portion blank. I hate math. I frustrated my parents to wits end. I had all the potential, none of the ambition. I wanted to smoke pot, write whatever popped in my head and just make enough money to get by. So in idealistic youth I flipped the bird to college tuition debt in favor of entering the work force.

Somehow along the line I ended up thirty years old as a entry level temp at a factory. The disappointing burnout my parents painted me to be. My mom once threatened to paint that word on my bedroom wall, to call me out so to speak. She wasn't impressed when I encouraged her to. Between mom and me, it's all emotions. I know her as well as best friends do. Like...all of it. Sex life. Financial strife. The works. It's sort of like you don't realize your mom discussing your dad's porn addiction with you when your thirteen is out of line until you grow up. And meet her meth head boyfriend at age twenty four.

He threatens to rape and kill you both but good old mom won't kick him out because she loves him. Not when he starts stealing everything in sight to sell for drugs. Not when he kidnaps her for a few days over Thanksgiving and meths out in a paranoid freakout keeping her in the hotel and not letting her leave. Or when he choked her until she was unconscious. Or raped her so loud you could hear her scream but she denied it and her screams are so frequent that you're learning to tune them out and that disturbs you on every level. Not even when he hits you, right in front of her, the first time and she yells at you for fighting back. Or when she chases your little sister into another state to live with a internet boyfriend who no one but she has met because Ducky fears living in that house more than living with strangers.

My sister was only nineteen. The week before she left my mom called her a selfish bitch for not supporting her relationship. I stood between them, outraged, explaining to my mother that she shouldn't call her child a bitch for being scared. When the meth head finally leaves, having drained a cool 20k from my mom's retirement fund in meth and tools and a Harley ect... my mom claims all these memories are a blur. In her world she is the ultimate victim, and she even blames me for standing by and letting it all happen. My brother, who showed up two months before I finally convinced my mother to get the eviction notice she needed to get the meth head out, gets all the credit for his absence.

He showed up, did meth and herione with the boyfriend and ignored my mom. She still ran to my room, daily, begging and pleading for me and my fiances protection. Some days we would wake up to her huddled by our bed, crying silently, because my fiance was the only thing this asshole feared. Because Heinzy certainly didn't stand by when she or I was threatened or hit. But he wasn't always there. And his probation kept him from throwing a first punch.

Still, my brother, who dodged all the previous months of abuse by disowning her for cheating on her husband with this guy. My brother was living in South Dakota, and calling her a bitch and a whore until he needed a bail out and suddenly he's Mama's little boy again. He gets the title of hero. Savior. Showing up last second and fucking everything up, and being loved for it. That's my brothers modis operandi. And he can't even spell those words.

People flinch when I call my mom a crazy bitch. Glad for them, in their Hallmark homes. Judging me. I still love the woman to death. Would kill for her. Suffered untold horrors just to keep her safe. Yet I can't help but feel this loyalty is a bit one sided. All things considered. And besides. Bitches be crazy.

My dad is her polar opposite. I get my cynical, mean sense of humor from him. I call him a passive aggressive teddy bear. And I feel two sides of my dad. First there's the guy that worked twenty two hours a day to support his family. No, that's not a exaggeration. And shit jobs too. Barely making it, piss on you, fast food, menial shit. It's hard not to respect that. Plus he's never touched or condoned so much as a cigarette or more than two beers that I've ever seen. Getting the shit beat out of you by a druggie alcoholic does that to you. Once, Grandpa "Buddy" even used a horse whip to beat him. Him and grandma talked about the two years they did speed at a Chili's dinner.

But they're rich as hell. Or they were. So it didn't matter. Still doesn't, as far as their putrid minds are concerned. Buy I'm off topic. His evil as fuck adoptive parents aside... My dad's not too bad. He taught me to write DOS code when I was six. How to write a household budget in Microsoft Excel when I was twelve. How to set up a wireless network for a entire office when I was sixteen. Basically he prepared me for the real world. And all it's shitty points. And probably saved me some pain for the effort.

For example, dad tip 101: Don't lend out money and expect or need it back. Only lend what you can afford and be surprised if it's ever repaid. Good tip. Seriously. When I flunked classes and needed summer school, he made me get a job and pay it back. I hated him for it. But after I worked off over a grand in summer school debt at a Chinese hole in the wall restaurant with no working AC, I understood what a dollar was worth. Hence no slavery bond. I mean, as you call them, student loans. Been there. Done that.

But then there's the other side of him. The side that never really wanted kids. The side that accused me of knowing my mom cheated when I actually didn't. My next door neighbor, a herione addict who tagged along on my mom's Easter visit to my brother did. He was there as she stopped, both on the way to and the way from, to fuck the meth head. He didn't tell me. I woke up to my sister alone in the living room crying. Because she had never seen my dad cry before. Neither have I. The only time in known history and I missed it. Poor Ducky, she saw it all.

Sometimes I wish I could erase it all. The Divorce. It happened when I was twenty four, and I thought my parents had fallen into the age old 'i hate you but I'll be with you forever trap'. The fact that they both remarried a year after divorce proves I was either naively hopeful or utterly delusional. Considering the fact that I knew they made each other utterly miserable I have to side with the latter. I just wanted to believe they loved each other in secret. Hell, thanks to my mom I knew they fucked three times a week. I thought that meant something.

Maybe that's why I think sex is pretty meaningless and too important all at once. First off. I won't fuck anyone unless I really want to. Second off. I've only fucked one guy. It wasn't intentional, the one guy thing, it's just the first guy who earned my trust was the first guy I let have me and I fell in love and ten years later he's still never betrayed me. Ever. And he makes me feel like a kid. And we fight. And I hate him sometimes but we never go to bed angry. And I have no kids. I won't be my mother. I don't want her mistakes. I'm creating my own whole new ones. It's both my privledge and my goal to defy everyone's expectations of me, even to my own detriment.

Everyone thinks I aimed low. He even says stupid stuff like how he thinks I'll leave him for someone else. Sometimes. And maybe my mom helped that paranoia along. You see, pre meth head boyfriend divorce, I was pretty found of telling people my mom and I were best friends and so alike. Post fallout, those words came back to haunt me in a big way. I supported her when EVERYONE turned away. Her father. My siblings. They all said she deserved the meth head. They didn't get it. If I left her alone he was going to kill her. Literally. And they turned on me for 'supporting her behavior'.

Go fuck yourselves. I couldn't speak to you all in the moment, and afterward everyone wanted to brush this shit under the rug. But damn it. It fucking scared me. Excuse the fuck out of me for panicking. I was twenty four, sure, a adult by all measures and standards. People don't pity adults. My dad taught me that. Figure shit out and handle it. So I did. And I took zero credit. Letting my mom crown my brother king of all the land, her savior. So in the end I was nothing.

And I didn't say shit. Let my extended family think what they liked. Not in that exact intention. In my head I was like, this.famiky situation is so fucked and so nasty I couldn't bear to tell them. And that left me awkwardly over formal in responses. I should have guessed no one else in my family was that shy. They told all...of their bullshit. And I know that sounds so one sided.

If I were you, I wouldn't trust my perspective on the matter either. After all, perception is defined by experience, and my experience is sure to lead me to be self serving and exploitative. I don't pretend otherwise. This is simply how it felt to me. As I received notices from my pastor grandfather telling me I was living in sin because I hadn't married or gone to church regularly. First off. YOUR only daughter had three kids out of wedlock by three different men. Totally beating the odds here. Thanks. Secondly, and yes I said this, bet your ass I did, I have only had sex with one guy and I promised God he was the one. Law is not religion. All a wedding is, technically, is a profession of exclusivity with your partner before God. I did that. Proved it for ten years. Living in sin? How so? By what biblical standard? Handfasting was a accepted marriage ceremony, Heinzy and I have declared devotion before each other and all else hands held before. It counts. So what is I don't have the legal document? Judge not least ye be judged and all that.

As for church. Ah the constructrial artifice of faith devoid of all passion. Going to church with my grandparents is different. There's something about my grandpa being a pastor, people instantly recognize it and respond to it. I have never, not once, stood in church with my grandpa and not had ten people know someone he knew from congregation or teaching job (he was a private school teacher and even principal too). He doesn't get what it's like, poor as fuck, to show up for service and be mocked by so called Christians. How I disdain their fake pandering. I love God. His houses are often beautiful, the scent of fresh wood and the art of stained glass. But the people inside are ugly and don't reflect Him at all. They just want to puff up their own self worth and indulgence and I hate them for it. But maybe that's just Illinois Lutherans for you.

They ruined church for me. Haven't been since I was in my twenties and I turned thirty two whole weeks ago.

[justtextmeoppa]

Super Junior reaction to hugging them during an argument

For anon

-kyu

Leeteuk

The argument would have been going on for ages, neither of you a wanting to give up. You knew Leeteuk better then anyone and he always had a firm belief about resolving a fight immediately. You both would have been standing in the lounge screaming at each other, while his precious puppy hid from the loud noises. You loved Leeteuk, more than anything and when he was worked up…HE WAS WORKED UP. Taking a long stride towards him, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulling him down into a hug. A hug that had him fade out what he was saying and hugging you back. Sighing deeply and placing a kiss on your head.

‘I love you, please stop fighting with me over this…’

Heechul

Ah Kim Heechul, much like Teuk there would be shouting but it would be a fight that moved throughout the entire apartment. You would throw pillows at him to try and stop him from exiting the room but that wouldn't help. Accusations would be flying about, with accusing fingers being pointed and sharp words being exchanged. Heechul in general was a dick if you didn't get his humor or personality, but now he was just going overboard. Grabbing his wrist, you would pull him into a hug but he would push away and look at you with anger. Searching your face, he would realize you wanted this to end and would slowly envelope you.

‘I am a dick, I know this, but can we stop arguing please?’

Yesung

Soft Yesung would generally never get angry, but when it involved his precious turtles then you knew an argument would break out.  Just because you forgot to put the light on at the exact time, your boyfriend was having a fit. You both would be standing in the bedroom, shouting over who was right and so on. The poor turtles would just continue in their tanks as Yesung would pick one up and give you a whole lecture about the ‘proper turtle care’. At this point you are tired of this, grabbing the turtle, you put it back in the tank and pull him into a hug with your head against his chest and him slowly caressing your hair, forgetting about that stupid argument.

‘You win, I’m sorry for starting this stupid fight baby.’

Kangin

Manly Kangin would be fuming over the fact that you had done something he specifically asked you not to do. The argument was stupid to even begin with, but he wanted his point across. You would plead your case saying you didn't do it on purpose, it just sort of happened. He would give up and turn on his heels, ready to leave before you grabbed his upper arm and halting him. Slowly you would turn him around and embrace him softly. He would slowly peel himself away and hold your face, stroking your cheeks gently

‘I don’t like fighting with you and you know this, so please just listen to me next time my love.’

Shindong

Resident teddy bear Shindong would not be as aggressive in his approach. His wording would be harsh but his action would be natural. No theatricals like Heechul. He would use factual information during the fight rather then splurging out anything that came to mind. You both would be sitting somewhere in the lounge and before long you would get up and quickly sit in his lap, hugging him tightly and resting your head in the crook of his neck. He would sigh before kissing your forehead and holding you close.

‘Stop fighting me okay? I am your boyfriend, not your enemy.’

Sungmin

Pumpkin patch Sungmin would be like Yesung but have a mixture of Heechul. When he was fired up, he was FIRED UP. He would be walking around in one room with his hands in the air and words everywhere. At this point you would remain quiet and just let him rant. Sighing, you knew this argument was getting old and you would grab him by the waist and pull him into your warmth.  He would push you away gently before seeing your face and quickly pulling you back in and kissing your head.

‘Fighting with you is a lost cause because I love you, so no more sweetheart…’

Eunhyuk

You and the dancer would have been fighting for days on end. At this point, neither of you even knew what the argument was about. All you both knew is that there had to be a winner before it ended. On the forth day, you both would be bickering in the bedroom over who finished the strawberry milk and forgot to replace it. Trivial, but very important. Absolutely frustrated and on the verge of breaking, you just yanked him by his collar and hugged him. He would try to break the hold by pushing you away before giving up with a slump of his shoulders. Once feeling his arms around you, you would smile.

‘You play dirty, but I love you so this argument ends now.’

Zhoumi

Seasoning would be passive, sitting at the table across from each other. Even though there was no physical bashing, the words kept coming. It had been long and rough weeks for the both of you and clearly running on a short fuse. Standing up, you would push his chair out slightly before straddling his waist and hugging him tightly. Within seconds he would respond before cupping your face and kiss every inch of it, because he wanted to show you how much he loved you.

‘It ends here, no more. We forget about it, okay?’

Donghae

Fishy would be a bit more emotional about the argument. Hands failing about. The argument was just a repetition. It would just be said in a different manner when the other was given the chance to speak. Much like his leader, he wanted to resolve this immediately. It was well pass the normal bed time and you yawned in the middle of his rebuttal before just grabbing him and giving him a firm squeeze. The hug was immediately given back as he stroked your hair and whispered how sorry he was.

‘I love you, more then anything and I hate having to fight with you. I am sorry my love…’

Siwon

There would be a little aggressive kick in Siwon when fighting. But you knew how to stand your ground. Word flew until something really hit the spot. Shouting back, tears would emerge but you knew he wouldn't give in let alone notice in his fit of rage. Walking up to him quickly, you would grab the back of his neck and force a hug. You would feel his hands ready to push you way before a tear fell on his bare skin. As if on target, his strong arms would be wrapped and basically crushing you against his body.

‘Please stop crying….please. I am sorry baby.’

Ryeowook

You and the eternal maknae would be sitting on the edge of the bed. He would be looking at you while arguing. Ryeowook was always a quiet innocent person in general, but at this moment his inner Heechul was out. When that happened, his cute outer appearance seemed to just disappear. He would be making hand gestures before you stood up and stood in front of him. Without a word, you would pull him to his feet and have him basically fall into your hug. He would hang their limp before registering what was really happening. Within a heartbeat, he would hug you back ever so tightly before whispering with a softer voice.

‘I am sorry, I know I can go off the rails sometimes but I don’t wanna fight anymore.’

Kyuhyun

Maknae would be on top of things. Using every bit of proof to win the argument. Stating every fact and detail he could remember. At this point you just stood with you arms crossed as he accused you of moving his games around and tampering with his laptop. Following him around the room, he would be pointing at something before turning and seeing you right in front of him and pulling him into a hug. Immediately he would push you away and just look at you. The look of shock and hurt would be spread on your face as he suddenly forgot what you were both arguing about. Trying to walk away, you would be grabbed and squished against his chest.

‘Listen I love you baby, no more arguing…’

Henry

Ahhhh Mochi, he would be the rational one at first. Trying to end the fight in general until one wrong thing was said. He would become slightly more irritated and pissed now that his fuse was lit. For a small boy, he sure knew how to handle himself well. You both be in the kitchen, one on either side of the kitchen island. Shouting and leaning over it. You would inch closer to him, catching him by surprise with the hug but he was ready. Always ready as he hugged you back with a soft smile.

‘Now where was that in the beginning of the fight?

*BONUS*

Hangeng

The Chinaman would be like Kangin, taking he manly rough route with is approach to the fight. Arguing just as strongly as you argued back. It had been a long week for him and he was running short on sleep and just rational thinking. You knew fighting back was stupid, but it was instinct to stand up for what was right. About twenty minutes into the argument, you realized this was getting no where. Within a flash, you had him in you arms but was pushed away just as quickly. There was no quick realization as he would start arguing again before you finally just let him finish his lecture. Panting and running a had through his hair he would sigh.

‘I’m sorry, but you are also at fault here but I will say that I did go slightly overboard. I love you very much baby, regardless of this issue.’

Kibum

Kimmy Kibum would be like Ryeowook.  Passive in his approach, but never short of sass. You knew how to handle the rapper, and you knew physical touch would be the way. As he rambled on, you would close the gap before he would slowly forget what he was saying and you took that opportunity to wrap your arms around your neck. His reaction time wasn’t fast, but eventually you felt him hug you back and kissing your neck softly.

‘I like this more then fighting…’