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105ttt · 3 years

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Hi sorry if this was already asked before but could you explain a little further abt the things devsis has done?? I haven’t heard abt a lot of the stuff you mentioned I don’t mean to sound rude or anything I’m just genuinely wondering

I can tell you mean it genuinely, it’s okay! I’m happy to answer because you want to know. I’ll go through everything I said.

The Valentine’s 2021 fanart video, posted on the official CR YouTube channel, is a compilation of fanart drawn for Valentine’s Day that fanartists submitted. Some of the art submitted was chosen BY DEVSISTERS and put in the video, but not all art made it in. Two pedophilic ships, Red Bean x Snow Sugar and Roguefort x Walnut, were featured in the video. Red Bean x Snow Sugar was featured TWICE. Snow Sugar and Walnut are confirmed to be children while Red Bean and Roguefort are HEAVILY implied to be adults. Devsisters allowed the pedophilic ships to be shown in a fanart video for a holiday primarily about romantic love, therefore putting their seal of approval on these pedophilic ships. Despite fans saying it should be taken down, the video is still up as of today.

Related to the video and Devsisters’ promotion of fanart on official Twitter accounts, they are known to promote fanart that whitewashes the Cookies. This applies to not only Cookies like Cocoa and Mint Choco, who are clearly black, but also Cookies that are tan, like Alchemist. This approval of whitewashing has been going on for literal years, and when an artist was called out for a piece that Devsisters promoted, Devsisters sided with the artist and claimed that they should be respected rather than made to understand why whitewashing is bad.

Both the Dreamy Cookie Land event and the 2021 April Fools GingerBrave Trial contain sections that are known to harm photosensitive people by either giving them seizures or seriously hurting their eyes and causing immense discomfort and pain. While Devsisters altered the maps in Dreamy Cookie Land to make them less likely to hurt these people, the 2021 April Fools Trial has not changed. Devsisters should have made sure these maps were safe BEFORE publishing them to thousands of people (or more).

Devsisters misgenders its own characters on official Twitter accounts and in game notifications. Squid Ink Cookie was referred to as “she” on a Puzzle World Twitter post, despite this Cookie never having pronouns anywhere in the game. Mocha Ray Cookie was referred to with “she” in a game notification despite having no pronouns listed anywhere in the game, including cutscenes. Devil Cookie was referred to with “he” in a Twitter post despite the game canonically using only “they/them” for them. In addition, a statement from the Thai branch of the Devsisters team claimed that you can use any pronouns for a Cookie since they are born sexless (and they conflated sex with gender). This gives transphobes the “right” to misgender canonically nonbinary characters. Lastly, before the Guild update and before OvenBreak, Dark Choco and Cinnamon had no pronouns. After the Guild update, Cookies referred to Dark Choco as “he”, and in OvenBreak, Cinnamon’s Story uses “he” for them. This erases two canonically nonbinary characters, as cis people will see “he” being used for them and assume they are male rather than he/they nonbinary people.

Devsisters is not subtle about their homophobia, as well as their goal of appealing to cishets who hate gay people. They show their homophobia in how straight ships are treated compared to gay ships. Firstly, in the Valentine’s fanart video, there were mostly straight ships. I believe I counted only 4 or so gay ships, and 3 of these were either selfcest or pedophilia. Despite the majority of the art being shown being heterosexual, many people who regularly follow the CR tag on Twitter and Instagram claim that there was a lot more gay ship art submitted compared to the proportion shown in the video. The gay ship art shown was also ambiguous enough that cishets who hate gay people wouldn’t get mad at Devsisters, while some of the heterosexual art was blatantly romantic. Secondly, the treatment of ships like RaspRose and PrincessKnight, popular straight ships, is much better than the treatment of popular gay ships by Devsisters. For example, RaspRose got a merchandise item in a set of cups that also featured a cup with Sea Fairy and Moonlight and Orange and Lime. The RaspRose art on the cup is explicitly romantic. The art on the Sea Fairy and Moonlight and Orange and Lime cups are ambiguous or platonic instead, despite both of these ships being historically far more plausible and popular than RaspRose. Finally, Devsisters has been gaybaiting with Madeleine Cookie and Espresso Cookie in Kingdom, but they refuse to make them canon because that would be gay. Gaybaiting is homophobic in itself for using gay people as a way to advertise something without fulfilling the promise of gay representation. It’s also worth mentioning that they once gaybaited with Milk and Purple Yam on Twitter, but the art shown was not romantic at all, and only the caption hinted at a ship (and the caption was vague enough to be interpreted as the Cookies merely appearing in an art piece together).

Multiple black CR fans have spoken out and said that Purple Yam Cookie is a racist caricature of black men, ESPECIALLY when he is juxtaposed with Milk, a white man. Indian and Middle Eastern CR fans have spoken out and said that Yogurt Cream Cookie and Lilac Cookie are caricatures of Indian and Middle Eastern people. These are not debatable. Google the history of the portrayal of black men in non-black media, and you’ll see what I mean for Purple Yam. The evidence that Yogurt Cream is a caricature comes from the very fact that people compare him to Aladdin, specifically Disney’s version of the tale, thereby showing that their only exposure to Indian and Middle Eastern people is stereotypes in white media. Note also that Dark Choco Cookie is the stereotype of a solemn, lonely, strong black person, and this has leaked into the fandom so much that people draw them unrealistically buff and mostly draw them suffering from angst instead of having any actual character.

There was an IRL sex crime in South Korea perpetrated by a club called the Burning Sun, and a certain Guild named itself after that club and changed their usernames to the names of the people who committed these crimes. They were only forced to change their names by Devsisters AFTER people protested. They were NOT forced to disband the Guild or banned from the game. Keep in mind that these people named themselves after a REAL-LIFE SEX CRIME that harmed REAL WOMEN AND GIRLS, and the only punishment they got was a forced name change. Fuck Devsisters.

Lastly, the trigger joke. Back when Ion Cookie Robot and Cyborg Cookie were new, the official CR Twitter account made a Tweet captioned as “triggered”, and below that caption was a GIF of Ion Cookie Robot becoming angry and shifting to their Red Dread Costume, thereby implying that Ion Cookie Robot was “triggered” and became unreasonably angry. This was posted during the time when ableists were using the term “triggered” as a “meme”, which harms people with PTSD. The Tweet was deleted, and another Tweet was made that apologized for the previous Tweet, but this was only after backlash from fans. However, notice that Purple Yam Cookie is also a trigger joke. He has PTSD from being burned alive in the Oven for so long, and as a result he is easily angered (anger is his stress response). The game treats this as a joke and minimizes his suffering just because other Cookies were in the Oven (before coming to life). His anger is treated as unreasonable and unwarranted, and it’s treated as a joke. Does that sound familiar? Now take into account that his anger is juxtaposed with Milk’s “kind”, “gentle” demeanor. Yikes.

BONUS ROUND:

DevSam, a worker at Devsisters, once said that GingerBrave had a Costume in LINE that was a “sexy cat costume”. GingerBrave is a minor, and the Costume was literally not sexy at all. Why did they refer to him as sexy if he’s a minor??

Images from an official CR account showed a person dressed as GingerBrave giving gifts to a person dressed as Pink Choco Cookie, a Cookie associated with romantic love. This can be easily interpreted as romantic and is therefore pedophilic because GingerBrave is a child and Pink Choco Cookie is an adult. Why post this at all??

Buttershell Fox referred to Maple Panda with a word that was VERY close to a slur against black people in the original text of the Secrets of the Hidden City cutscenes. This was only changed when a popular Twitter user let everyone know about it and asked people to email Devsisters about it.

I can provide links and screenshots for proof if needed, but please DM me or send an ask to ask for these. I’m definitely forgetting other things they’ve done that are bad, but this already should be enough to raise eyebrows.

#no stupid asks please!#they will be deleted!#same for stupid replies!#do not defend corporations they are not your friend!#respect minorities and listen to them!

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c4pricornc4ts · 4 years

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The Best Prank - SBI One-Shot

This idea is by @bellfort3 ! Thank you for letting me take it.

Summary: He’d ask his mom if he could just quickly tweet something funny about him being grounded but really, isn’t a break from Tommy what everyone wants? Even his own fans used to find him annoying. Maybe everyone’s happy he’s gone.

So he doesn’t ask.

Tommy is tilting his head back in one of the uncomfortable leather seats outside the principal's office yet again this semester. He’s holding an already very bloody tissue up to his nose and swinging his legs while waiting for his mom to be interrupted in the middle of work yet again to come and take him home.

He really tried not to get in another fight after how mad his mom was last time, but there were these asshole upperclassmen who just really deserved it for how much of an asshole they are to everyone, but especially him.

He knew his mom would be livid, and he was completely right. He eyes her warily as she steps in the office and starts switching between apologizing profusely to the principal and lecturing him. The principal just hands her a paper to sign and tells them both very seriously that if he gets in one more fight he’s expelled.

Tommy’s up getting another tissue when she all but drags him out the office door by his coat.

“It’s really not that big of a deal!” He whines as she checks him over, before letting him get in the car.

She leans her forehead against the steering wheel and sighs, gripping it tightly. “Not a big deal? Tom you can’t just get in fights with people! You heard your principal, one more and you’re out.”

“What am I supposed to do? Just let them be assholes?” He snapped at her, though he sounded less angry and more nasally from the tissue blocking his nose.

“Go tell a goddamn teacher! I’m starting to think you like getting your nose broken.”

“They don’t do shit!”

His mom turns to him, he looks away. “Your grades are dropping, you’ve been in a total of three fights just this semester and now you’re snapping at me? What’s gotten into you?”

“I’m sorry mom.” He mumbles. He does feel kind of bad about it all. But mostly he just wants the conversation to end.

“You’ve really left me no choice here you know.” She takes his phone out of his backpack. “No phone for a week, and no streaming either. I’m unplugging the wifi. You need to do some self reflection.”

“Oh come on now, a whole week? It’s just a bloody nose it’s not like anybody died!” This was completely unfair. Streaming was his job, and how on earth will his friends know where he went?

“You’ll thank me when you’re not repeating sophomore year.” She starts the car, focusing on the road now. Tommy makes no move to speak to her again not wanting to make anything worse.

After he’s caught up on his school work it’s almost 8pm. He goes to sit in front of his computer, excited to just hang out with whoever was online and deflates in his seat when all he can do is play that stupid no internet dinosaur game.

Even though it’s a stupid game he still plays it for at least an hour before giving up and just getting ready for bed. At least he had school tomorrow to keep him distracted.

School goes by quickly, he complains to his friends about being grounded and over exaggerates the fight he was in and all his teachers give him looks when they see his bruised face but smile when he turns in his late work.

He opens his front door and starts to head upstairs, preparing to stream before just leaning against the wall and sighing when he remembers his punishment. He has no homework though so really what was he supposed to do?

Blue eyes look at the cookie mix left on the counter and Tommy makes a plan. He changes out of his school uniform and makes sure to give his mom a pointed look before running back to the kitchen.

He reads the back of the box, leaning against the counter; 2 eggs, ½ cup of water, and ⅓ cup of olive oil. It sounds easy enough. The only trouble he has is trying to crack the eggs without getting any shells in the bowl. He thinks about when he met up with his friends and how Wilbur and Phil made it a competition to see which of the two could crack an egg with one hand the cleanest.

Tommy stares at the unmixed bowl, his hands covered in baking ingredients, wondering if any of his online friends missed him. They always seem relieved he’s not around when they stream and Tommy tries to remember they’re talking about his character, but it hurts. There’s only so many times he can hear his pseudo family call him annoying and a problem before it starts to feel more personal.

It hurt, he always played it off so well on stream but after streams where they were particularly rude to him he always just felt drained.

He’d ask his mom if he could just quickly tweet something funny about him being grounded but really, isn’t a break from Tommy what everyone wants? Even his own fans used to find him annoying. Maybe everyone’s happy he’s gone.

So he doesn’t ask.

Suddenly, he doesn’t want to finish his baking project. He really just wants to lie down and sleep for the week. But he does, though it feels a lot less exciting than it did at first.

He takes the cookies out of the oven with his bare hands yelling about how that’s his least favorite part before turning around and coming face to face with his very confused mom holding an oven mitt.

He runs his hands under some cold water and takes a few cookies up to his room, leaving the rest out. He closes the door and plays some minecraft in single player for a while, walking into the house he and Tubbo had built together when his friend had visited.

Tubbo doesn’t hate him, he liked Tubbo.

It’s only his fourth day of no internet and Tommy is incredibly bored. He had done just about everything he could think of to do. He feels bad for kids who grew up like this because honestly, how did they do it?

He supposes it’s different when you don’t rely on the internet for your job, or if you just never knew it was a thing. If he was born before the internet maybe he would write that book he always wanted to write.

Tommy is staring at a book on knitting and fumbling around the two needles, trying to make his weekend at least somewhat productive. The tv in the living room is turned down and Tommy curls up on the end of the couch with a roll of green yarn.

He begins to get the hang of the whole knitting thing after three very messy rows when his mom messes up his hair, causing him to look up with a glare.

“We’re going out, don’t you try to get on anything or it’ll be two weeks!”

“I have ascended past the need for electronics, as you can see.” He laughs and keeps trying to tie off the fourth row.

The door clicks shut and Tommy tosses the yarn aside and sits up. Sighing hard enough to blow his hair out of his face before flopping back down on the couch dramatically.

He throws an arm over his eyes and resolves to just lie down for a bit, not bothering to even fix the knitting book which had landed open on the floor next to him.

He just let’s the colors flickering from the tv wash over him for a while when the doorbell rings. He ignores it, as his parents didn’t tell him anyone would be coming by. Hoping it was just the mail.

The person at the door starts knocking after a few moments, so Tommy begrudgingly gets up to answer.

He really wasn’t expecting Wilbur to be standing in his front yard, checking his phone. He looked troubled, as if he was worrying it was the wrong house or something. Tommy takes a deep breath and goes to find out what Wilbur wanted.

“Tommy! Where’ve you been? Everyone’s been so worried I decided to make a trip here.” Wilbur just let’s himself in, walking right past Tommy and into the kitchen.

“Oh, just busy with school y’know?” He knows it’s a weak excuse, but it’s worth a shot.

“Too busy to just send a message to someone?” Of course that didn’t work on Wilbur. Philza or Tubbo would’ve accepted that excuse in a heartbeat. But not Wilbur.

“I thought no one would care. It’s only a week.” He opens the fridge, trying to act nonchalant about the situation.

“Only a week? Tommy, you usually text us everyday! Of course we’re gonna notice.”

“Notice? Yes. Care? No.” He mumbles bitterly. Freezing up right after, hand still on the fridge handle.

“Of course we care! Wha- Why would you think we didn’t-” Tommy feels a bit bad, Wilbur sounds genuinely hurt by it. But Tommy wasn’t done.

“You all always talk about how annoying I am, for-fucking-give me for giving you and everyone else a break.” He turns towards the older, and tries to stop his eyes from watering. Trying to tell himself he’s mad, not upset.

“It’s all jokes Tommy, you know we don’t actually feel that way about you.” Wilbur pushes off the counter and takes a tentative step towards Tommy. Who makes sure Wilbur notices him step back.

“What’s so funny about it? I go from school where everyone seems to hate me just to talk to more people who act like they hate me. And I’m really, really tired of it.” He falters by the end of the statement, realizing that maybe he is more than just mad.

He knows he’s crying, his shoulders shake and his face feels hot as he looks anywhere but at Wilbur’s face. Was it so bad of him to just want people in his corner for once? Is he really such an annoyance that someone had to drive all the way to his house because he didn’t just find a way to contact any of them?

“Oh, Tommy.” Wilbur murmurs, his voice sounds soft. And Tommy leans into his shoulder for support. He should probably just sit down, but he really just wants some comfort right now. Even if the one who made him so upset is the one he gets it from.

Wilbur pulls him in, enveloping him in an actual hug. And Tommy can’t deny it does make him feel a bit better.

“I’m being ridiculous, I'm sorry. I-I know you guys don’t mean it. It just- It hurts.” He’s crying again, and he really hopes Wilbur doesn’t make him stop hiding his face.

“You’re not being ridiculous, we should’ve looked out for you better. I just assumed you were okay with it, but I never even asked you. I’m the one who’s sorry. So you take your sorry back.”

“Sorry for being sorry.” He whispers back softly, laughing over his own joke.

Wilbur holds him for a bit longer, and he tries to wipe his face before stepping back.

“I’ll talk to Techno and Philza if that’s okay. I never want you to feel like I wouldn’t care if you left, I’m sure they wouldn’t want you too either.”

“That’s- thanks, Wilbur.”

Wilbur claps his hands together excitedly. “Now, tell me what TommyInnit does when there’s no internet to waste his time on.”

“Wilbur you won’t believe it but I got to the point of boredom where you learn to knit. To knit, Wilbur!” He’s dragging Wilbur by the arm into the living room to show him the barely finished hat he’d started. And laughing when Wilbur fusses at him for leaving the book sprawled on the floor like it was. The moment earlier was completely forgotten.

And if Wilbur made a tweet that night, well he’d delete it before Tommy got his phone back so really, no one gets hurt here.

Wilbur Soot (@WilburSoot)

Tommy’s grounded LMAOO and won’t have his phone for the next few days, quick comment nice paragraphs under his latest tweet to confuse him haha, the best prank I think.

#SBI #tommyinnit #wilbur soot #fanfic #c4pricornc4ts

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araisbored · 4 years

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Obelisk

That’s the only quirky title I could come up to make this a little bit more interesting.

I’m reviewing my favorite book again. More like making another post about it. Because I seem like the type of person to not shut up about something she truly, truly, deeply love. Though, I won’t really making a review. Because I am in no state to make one of those. I don’t know I just I’m not that qualified to that yet. Though I read millions of books, I still won’t. I re-read my last “review” and it just make me cringe because I can’t understand what I’m saying and there’s a bunch of errors on my sentence. Not that this whole post won’t containing grammar errors, but still. Also, the cringing intensifies when I saw that Jennifer Niven (the author of this book) liked my bizarrely wrong blog entry. Ms. Niven, if by any chance, reading this again, I love your work and I’m sorry for a lot of grammatical errors. Ms. Niven, your work changed my life and help me get through a rough time. Sounds cliché but its the truth.

To repeat what I typed, I won’t make a review. Yet, I’ll post a very private diary log which where I somehow discuss my opinions about this book. So here it is.

Trigger warning: Suicide topics, cutting and mental issues might come up on the next following paragraph. And it’s really graphic. Because it is a personal log on my digital diary. Beware.

May 17, 2019: Theodore’s death, Avengers: End game and GoT discussion.

I never had a proper review of this book. Because lets be real here. Its me and probably won’t matter. Last time or more like last last year, I made a book recommendation/favourites about this book. And I emphasize on that blog post that it’s not a book review. NOT A BOOK REVIEW. At all.

Because:

I am scared of the internet scrutinizing my opinions and views about this book.

It’s about mental health or part of it. So it is really a sensitive topic and I even haven’t figured myself out. So I’m not really sure if I’m the right person you want to have an opinion regarding with this topic. One thing about me is that you don’t go asking me questions on how you figured your life or how you deal with depression because, oh boy oh boy you’re in a wrong place honey.

Last night I searched Theodore Finch on twitter. Yes, twitter. Because that is where you get the real opinions. Real tea. As well as the stupid ones. And I read one thread or whatever you call it, some sort of a conversation or replies from one girl to another. (I just assumed you’re girl and I’m sorry if you’re not. I am really sorry for misgendering you.) The other girl said that she’s kind of annoyed how everyone around Theodore doesn’t get the signs when it’s literally on their faces. When you come to think of it. Its true. All the signs of Theodore’s disease was there. Bluntly on their faces. It’s kind of fascinating how it’s not noticed by his family and friends or even Violet. But again right now thinking about it, maybe because it happened when this world just slowly noticing or paying attention about mental health. Hold a second, let me search when it was published. Yeah, I'm right its 2015. A year of coming of age for the late Baby Boomers are introduced to depression and when people, mostly teenagers are committing suicide. I would be very harsh on my words because it was just me talking to myself anyways. So yeah, that's also the year where I'm cutting myself and wanted to kill myself. So no wonder Finch’s family have no idea about his mishaps and adventures. So about that discussion, it was already solved. That year was just the year where naïve people are introduced to mental health and issues. Anyways, back to that conversation. The other girl defended the book/author. That the author, Jenifer Niven, was just portraying real life happenings. That these things happens in real life. People really die because of mental health issues. By the way, Finch mental diagnosis wasn’t really mentioned on the book directly. As far as I can remember. That’s why I'm re-reading it again now. But so far zero mentioned of diagnosis or bipolarity(Is that even a word? idc.). Just the mention of him wanting to kill himself, the erotic changes in his moods, lack of appetite and being insomniac. He doesn’t sleep one night or he sleeps then have very bad nightmares after that. It’s pretty obvious but again, let’s refer to the points given above. Oh, oh! Then there’s one time he repainted his bedroom from blood red to blue. If that’s not alarming enough then idk anymore. But yes, 2015. The coming of age and the year where we birthed more stupid late boomers. But, yes. Wild book. A very wild and very BRILLIANT book. It’s the stupid characters or the people in Finch’s life that suck. Which is why I kind of sided to the girl who said that that the author doesn’t really write the characters well. Let’s call her Girl A. And the other girl who defend Niven, Girl B. I’m pretty sure you’re both girls but just in case, I’m gonna apologize again if I'm misgendering you. Or if you don’t wanna be called a girl. I can’t say or disclose that Girl B was wrong because he clearly have a point too. It happens in real life. People die from depression and I might be one soon.

Just wanna say that It’s a good discourse. Arguments like that are my favorites where both sides are not wrong nor right either, makes you really think. A read. Both the book and that twitter discourse. If you happened to read it, good. But if not sorry I can’t link it for you.

So for my opinion (oh no, here we go) I agree on both of them , as if its not yet obvious. I guess if it was written in the present days the author could’ve change the characters and made Finch alive. Or checked-in in a mental institution or he’ll be given a medical assistance he really needs. Because the only medical attention he was given was thru his Guidance councilor, Embryo. Which is a good thing, but also I think Finch’s situation needs more professional attention. No offence to all guidance councilors out there. I know you guys try your best. But you know, Niven can make Finch visit a psychiatrist in a clinic/mental institution right? Like violet. I know Finch’s financial state is bad but.. idk there’s something can be done here. But again it was during that time where people are shouting “Depression isn’t real”, stupid people posting tweets and Facebook status on how “Suicide is for the week”; they watch 13 reasons why and decided to skip the whole point of the show and just assumed that “yeah depression is for the weaklings”. It only shows how ignorant people are. They’re the kind of people who standby when you get punch on the face or laugh when people spreads rumors and lies about you. Basically, bystanders. I’m sorry I’m a little snappy. If you haven’t noticed. I don’t know I’m just mad today.

I think the book still holds it. And justify the ending. Though part of me really hate it too. But it kind of made me realized about a lot of things, not just about me but also about how I should interact with other human beings. I hate the ending because it breaks my heart but I guess it was necessary?? Or not. Any how, It was a good ending. Maybe its just me because I’m a masochist. But I can not think of any other impactful and realistic way on ending it. (Rereading this again and I just need to clear things up. That IM NOT A MURDERER OR A KILLER. I DONT NORMALIZE SUICIDE, but from a standing point the ending is justified. Its sad but its, again, realistic.) But still, breaks my heart, Theodore is a precious boy. Who deserves nothing but love. And I hope his story was more known by the people so jackasses would know how to treat their family and friends better.

[This part was cut because I talked about Avengers and GoT ending; Which is very relevant to this topic]

Love,

Ara xx

So yeah, that’s some of my diary entry. Re-reading it makes me realized how funny I am. Jesus I should read more of these. Who knows, I might post it here. If it’s not that personal. I’ll end this here now. I hope wherever you are you’re having a good day.

Ttyl, Ara!

#books #jennifer niven #All the Bright Places

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tswiftdaily · 5 years

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Taylor Swift on "Lover" and haters

You might say Taylor Swift's happy place is at the piano in her Nashville home. "There have been so many songs that were written at this piano," she said.

"And it's often the middle of the night?" asked correspondent Tracy Smith.

"It's usually in the middle of the night," she replied. "Or if I'm trying to get to sleep and I can't and then I get an idea. And I'm, like, 'Well, I'm not tired anyway!' And then kind of wander over here."

It's kind of a rare sight, not just because "Sunday Morning" was there ("I haven't serenaded someone in a while, hope you know that!"), but because, for the moment, Taylor Swift was actually sitting still.

I promise that you'll never find another like Me-e-e, Ooh ooh ooh ooh I'm the only one of me Baby, that's the fun of me – "Me!" by Taylor Swift, Joel Little and Brendon Urie

And there never really has been another like Taylor Swift. After only 13 years in the business, she's become a musical force of nature, with an armload of #1 hits, more Grammy Awards than The Rolling Stones, and (according to Forbes) the distinction of being the highest-paid celebrity on the planet.

By any measure, she's an amazing young woman. But there were times, she says, that being young, and a woman, worked against her.

"You're always gonna have people going, 'Did she write all her own songs?'" she said. "Talking about your personal life, talking about your dating life.

"There's a different vocabulary for men and women in the music industry, right?"

"Gimme an example," asked correspondent Tracy Smith.

"Okay. A man does something, it's 'strategic'; a woman does the same thing, it's 'calculated.' A man is allowed to 'react'; a woman can only 'over-react.'"

And it seems her usual reaction is to get to work. Swift writes or co-writes all of her songs. And what's more, her music videos are all her vision, from the pastel wonderland in "Me!"…to the giant dollhouse in her latest video, "Lover."

That's also the title of her critically-acclaimed new studio album, her seventh. She wrote "Lover" on her piano at home, and polished it up in the studio. And once she recorded the music, Swift (accompanied by and her cats) went to Hollywood to make the music video, and she invited Smith along to watch.

There's a love story here, and like a lot of Swift's work, it's an echo of her real life.

Born in Reading, Pennsylvania, Swift discovered her love for music as a toddler. She set her sights on a career in country music, and eventually her parents and younger brother moved to Nashville to help her do it.

"My brother's a real bro for doing that," Swift said.

"Yeah, they all upended their lives," Smith said.

"For sure."

"It worked out well!"

"Yeah, I buy 'em lots of presents," she laughed.

The rest reads like a fantasy: Swift became a country music phenomenon, and, in the last few years, a pop icon. But the superstar is, by her own admission, as emotionally fragile as any other 20-something, "I'm still someone who is the first to apologize when I'm wrong," she said. "But I think I'm better at standing up for myself when I've been wronged. So, that's something that I think also comes with growing up."

Which brings us to Scooter Braun. Earlier this summer, Braun, a talent agent with whom Swift says she has a contentious relationship, acquired the rights to her previous recordings – her masters – when his company bought Scott Borchetta's Big Machine Label Group for a reported $300 million. Borchetta, who worked with Swift for years, says she and those close to her (including her dad, who was an investor), knew about the deal in advance, and that Swift had previously been offered the chance to buy her own masters.

She remembers it differently, and told Smith she didn't see it coming: "I found out when it was online, like, when it hit the news."

"Nobody in your inner circle knew?" Smith asked.,

"Nobody knew."

"And you didn't smell it?"

"No. I knew he would sell my music; I knew he would do that. I couldn't believe who he sold it to, because we've had endless conversations about Scooter Braun. And he has 300 million reasons to conveniently forget those conversations."

With the sale of the masters to her first six albums, there has been speculation that Swift might re-record her back catalog, in order to control the recordings of her songs.

Smith asked, "Might you do that?"

"Oh, yeah," Swift replied.

"That's a plan?"

"Yeah, absolutely!"

Scooter Braun may not agree with her side of the story, but he did reach out to Swift in a tweet last week, calling her new album "brilliant."

It's clear that Swift wants to control her music: When it's time to release one of her new songs, she does it personally, talking to her fans live on Instagram. This personal connection has earned her a loyal following. But her openness comes at price: She's followed just about everywhere she goes these days, by people who are crazy about her – or just plain crazy.

Smith asked, "Where is home for you now?"

"It's a very good question," she said. "I try not to ever really say where I am the most, because since all my addresses are on the internet, people tend to show up uninvited. Like, you know, dudes that think we have an imaginary marriage."

"And you mentioned that you keep wound dressing with you?"

"Yeah. I've had a lot of stalkers show up to the house, armed. So, we have to think that way."

And she's come under attack in other ways: You need only glance at the tabloids to see some very well-publicized feuds, and she often hits back at her haters through her music. For instance, in "You Need to Calm Down," she calls out anti-gay protesters and online trolls:

You are somebody that we don't know But you're comin' at my friends like a missile Why are you mad? When you could be GLAAD? Sunshine on the street at the parade But you would rather be in the dark ages …

Control your urges to scream about all the people you hate 'Cause shade never made anybody less gay – "You Need to Calm Down" by Taylor Swift and Joel Little

Smith asked, "I'm curious, because I feel like almost every album, you have a song where you address the haters, at least one song. Sometimes more than one song."

"I probably do have that habit. I imagine that I might have that habit, yeah."

"Why is that? Why sing to the haters?"

"Well, when they stop coming for me, I will stop singing to them," Swift replied. "You know, people go on and on about, like, you have to forgive and forget to move past something. No, you don't. You don't have to forgive and you don't have to forget to move on. You can move on without any of those things happening. You just become indifferent, and then you move on."

"Do you believe in forgiveness?"

"Yes, absolutely, like, for people that are important in your life who have added, you know, who have enriched your life and made it better, and also there has been some struggle and some bad stuff, too. But I think that, you know, if something's toxic and it's only ever really been that, what are you gonna do?"

"Just move on?"

"Just move on. It's fine."

Taylor Swift's music is always personal, sometimes intensely so. "There's one song on the album called 'Soon You'll Get Better' that it's, I can't even really hear. I can't even listen to it."

She won't talk specifically about her inspiration, but it comes at a time when her mother Andrea, who was battling cancer, suffered a relapse.

Swift said, "It's really interesting because I don't think I have written a song quite like that before. And it's just sort of, like, it's just a tough one."

"I can imagine. But I can also tell you, having listened to it, that it's universal."

"It's just not something that we deal with until we have to, until we see it, until we experience it, until someone close to us is going through something like that. And so, writing about it was really emotional. And I'm just gonna stop talking about it now."

She's more comfortable plunging into her work. On the Hollywood set, a large glass tank will become a symbolic fish bowl in the "Lover" music video.

"I very oftentimes remark that my life is like a fish bowl, and that, like, if I were to, like, fall in love, you know, somebody's choosing to be in that fish bowl with me. To jump into the fish bowl with me and live in that world just with me – it's not as depressing as it sounds, I promise! It's just symbolic!"

Talk about fish bowls: she's been dating British actor Joe Alwyn for three years. Seems he's up for a swim.

At the moment, Swift is, well, fully immersed in today. Beyond that, she says she doesn't know … and doesn't really want to.

Smith asked her, "Do you think about, you know, 'What am I gonna do in 20, 30 years?'"

"No, 'cause that puts me into what I call a panic spiral," Swift replied. "Like, I cannot do that. I've never been able to do that."

Why? "It just freaks me out. When I zoom out too far, I freak out. Do I know where I'm gonna be or even wanna be in 20 years? Absolutely not. Like, not taking a single day for granted."

"So, how far ahead do you look?"

"Six months. Just 'cause I have to plan shows and stuff. But I don't know what I'll do after this album. And I think that's great. I tell myself, like, it's actually really ungrateful to just assume that you have 20 years. Like, be stoked that you have today."

(x)

#cbs sunday morning #interview

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jawshviewer · 4 years

Text

dont reblog pls <3

i just wanted 2 talk abt this because i have so many opinions on this situation, and i am not about to just go off on my main blog or anything like that.

at the point of me writing this, the evidence points towards carson being guilty. the evidence being the screenshots that came out. personally, i dont think carson is attracted to minors, as he was 19 at the time (still technically a teenager) and talking to a 17 year old. to me it just seems like a cringe high school relationship tbh. this is the same age gap as me and my bf (even tho we did not talk sexually at those ages). HOWEVER, it is still WRONG as the victim was still a minor. i have been seeing all over the carson subreddit (before it was closed off) that people are saying he shouldnt be cancelled over a 2 year age gap, but carson was still an adult, he knew the age of the person he was talking to, and even felt that the situation was wrong himself. so even if he isnt attracted to, like literal children, he is still guilty of speaking sexually to a minor and more than likely receiving images from said minor (this part i am not sure abt, from their conversation/the screenshots it sounds like that happened).

and even if you think “its just a 2 year age gap, its not that bad”, people also arent really mentioning the power imbalance there is here. despite this being years ago, carson definitely had more influence and fame than the victim. if the victim was a fan, then that just makes it so much easier for carson to pressure something out of them. im sure you all know the feeling of, like, even your fav content creator liking your tweet. sweet, sweet adrenaline, right? now imagine the content creator is dm’ing you, creating sexual scenarios with you, and now asking you to send photos of yourself. whether the age gap disturbs you or not, carsons influence matters a LOT in this story.

ive also seen people saying they “hope this is another pyro situation”, which is lol. what, you hope that carson was blissfully unaware of the victims age? in the pyro situation, he literally admitted to having sexual roleplays with a minor. it would have to line up so IMPOSSIBLY perfect for pyro to have not known his victims age. i dont understand why people ate up his (pyros, at this point carson has not made a statement) apology video, saying it debunked everything abt that situation. i was a fan of pyros before the allegations broke out, and when they did i didnt desperately cling to everything he said and try to make excuses for what he done, and it will not be the same for carson.

lastly, whether you like it or not.... people in the lunch club knew. this was stated by noah and travis in the keem video (which, sadly, i did watch. i do not like the guy but at the time it was all we had on this situation), that carson had told the ppl in lunch club (and i will assume josh as well, since that is the person i have based this blog upon). all of those people knew about this. since march. and did not say anything for months. i do not want to see people like ted, altrive, or josh come out and denounce carson publicly when they have been playing minecraft with him until just recently. i do realize there is also a power imbalance within these friendships, in which i believe that it seems like carson gave these people their careers, in the sense that carsons followers went and grew their channels too. there is a level of fear to think abt losing your following for coming out against your IMMENSELY popular friend doing something like this, but im being real here- if any of these people had come out about this, who would lose more? i would think carson, as, well, he was in the wrong. they could have also distanced themselves from carson, but instead decided to continue making content with someone they knew had sexual conversations with someone who was underage.

my opinions are subject to change if more info comes out, obviously. but it would have to be pretty damning information like the screenshots being completely faked for me to accept it. as it is now, i believe carson is not attracted to children (and we should not he throwing around the p word for him), but he is in the wrong for using his influence to get sexual conversations from a minor. even if they were just 2 years apart in age, the victim was still a minor and the adult in the situation should know not to engage (same as in the pyro situation). people in the lunch club who decided not to distance themselves and keep working with him are also weird for doing that. my opinions may change as more information comes out, but at the moment, it does not look good for him and this is how i feel about this whole situation.

lastly, it is ok to be upset. you had no way of knowing about this as it was going on. you can be mad and upset for losing a comfort streamer or two. do not let a “funnyman” stand between you and your morals; dont just continue watching him because you find him funny. if you believe that this situation is wrong, then distance yourself, as hard as it may be. you can always reconnect if we get more info about this situation, but as it stands, i cannot continue to support this group of people.

thanx

#dont reblog pls :)

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makistar2018 · 5 years

Link

Taylor Swift on "Lover" and haters

John D'Amelio August 25, 2019

You might say Taylor Swift's happy place is at the piano in her Nashville home. "There have been so many songs that were written at this piano," she said.

"And it's often the middle of the night?" asked correspondent Tracy Smith.

Taylor Swift at her piano, with correspondent Tracy Smith.

I promise that you'll never find another like Me-e-e, Ooh ooh ooh ooh I'm the only one of me Baby, that's the fun of me – "Me!" by Taylor Swift, Joel Little and Brendon Urie

By any measure, she's an amazing young woman. But there were times, she says, that being young, and a woman, worked against her.

"You're always gonna have people going, 'Did she write all her own songs?'" she said. "Talking about your personal life, talking about your dating life.

"There's a different vocabulary for men and women in the music industry, right?"

"Gimme an example," asked correspondent Tracy Smith.

"Okay. A man does something, it's 'strategic'; a woman does the same thing, it's 'calculated.' A man is allowed to 'react'; a woman can only 'over-react.'"

And it seems her usual reaction is to get to work. Swift writes or co-writes all of her songs. And what's more, her music videos are all her vision, from the pastel wonderland in "Me!":

youtube

…to the giant dollhouse in her latest video, "Lover."

youtube

There's a love story here, and like a lot of Swift's work, it's an echo of her real life.

"My brother's a real bro for doing that," Swift said.

"Yeah, they all upended their lives," Smith said.

"For sure."

"It worked out well!"

"Yeah, I buy 'em lots of presents," she laughed.

youtube

She remembers it differently, and told Smith she didn't see it coming: "I found out when it was online, like, when it hit the news."

"Nobody in your inner circle knew?" Smith asked.,

"Nobody knew."

"And you didn't smell it?"

With the sale of the masters to her first six albums, there has been speculation that Swift might re-record her back catalog, in order to control the recordings of her songs.

Smith asked, "Might you do that?"

"Oh, yeah," Swift replied.

"That's a plan?"

"Yeah, absolutely!"

Scooter Braun may not agree with her side of the story, but he did reach out to Swift in a tweet last week, calling her new album "brilliant."

Smith asked, "Where is home for you now?"

"And you mentioned that you keep wound dressing with you?"

"Yeah. I've had a lot of stalkers show up to the house, armed. So, we have to think that way."

Control your urges to scream about all the people you hate 'Cause shade never made anybody less gay – "You Need to Calm Down" by Taylor Swift and Joel Little

youtube

Smith asked, "I'm curious, because I feel like almost every album, you have a song where you address the haters, at least one song. Sometimes more than one song."

"I probably do have that habit. I imagine that I might have that habit, yeah."

youtube

"Why is that? Why sing to the haters?"

"Do you believe in forgiveness?"

"Just move on?"

"Just move on. It's fine."

Taylor Swift's music is always personal, sometimes intensely so. "There's one song on the album called 'Soon You'll Get Better' that it's, I can't even really hear. I can't even listen to it."

She won't talk specifically about her inspiration, but it comes at a time when her mother Andrea, who was battling cancer, suffered a relapse.

Swift said, "It's really interesting because I don't think I have written a song quite like that before. And it's just sort of, like, it's just a tough one."

"I can imagine. But I can also tell you, having listened to it, that it's universal."

She's more comfortable plunging into her work. On the Hollywood set, a large glass tank will become a symbolic fish bowl in the "Lover" music video.

Taylor Swift filming the fish bowl sequence from her music video "Lover." CBS NEWS

Talk about fish bowls: she's been dating British actor Joe Alwyn for three years. Seems he's up for a swim.

At the moment, Swift is, well, fully immersed in today. Beyond that, she says she doesn't know … and doesn't really want to.

Smith asked her, "Do you think about, you know, 'What am I gonna do in 20, 30 years?'"

"No, 'cause that puts me into what I call a panic spiral," Swift replied. "Like, I cannot do that. I've never been able to do that."

Why? "It just freaks me out. When I zoom out too far, I freak out. Do I know where I'm gonna be or even wanna be in 20 years? Absolutely not. Like, not taking a single day for granted."

"So, how far ahead do you look?"

CBS News

#taylor swift #sunday morning #cbs #interview #ts7 #lover #2019.08.25

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crownedbyluke · 5 years

Text

Long Road Ahead (Chapter Ten)

Estelle Finley has been friends with Ashton Irwin and Luke Hemmings for three years. When the boys bring her along on a jam-packed road trip to Cape Cod with the rest of the band, their adventures are just beginning. Through long hours driving, exploring cities, and hidden secrets, something more is bound to happen on this journey. How will this road trip change Estelle’s friendship with the friends she’s come to love so dearly?

Word Count: 3,500

{Chapter One} {Chapter Two} {Chapter Three} {Chapter Four}{Chapter Five} {Chapter Six} {Chapter Seven} {Chapter Eight} {Chapter Nine}

The room was too bright for my hungover eyes as I sat up in my bed. It felt like someone was hitting me in the head over and over again. My movements were slower than usual as I pulled the gray hoodie over my head. My feet thudded against the stairs as I went down to the kitchen for breakfast.

“Hey Mike,” I said, voice rough as I pulled the refrigerator open.

“Hey Luke,” he said, his tone a little suspicious.

“What’s up?” I asked, pouring myself a glass of orange juice.

“Nothing. How’s the hangover?” he asked, his eyes narrowing as he watched me lean against the counter.

“Pretty rough. My head hurts, but nothing out of the ordinary. How was last night?” I asked, turning to search for something light to eat.

“Oh fine. I heard you and Cal come back last night,” he said, an edge to his tone.

“Shit. I’m sorry Mike. Most of last night is kinda hazy,” I admitted, sighing as I grabbed some bread to make toast.

“Oh I bet. You sounded pretty wasted,” he said as I caught the glare he was giving me.

“And I’m sorry. Did something happen last night when I came back?” I asked, confused as to why he would be staring at me with such a harsh look.

“Nope. Nothing at all. I’m gonna go get ready to head to Central Park,” he said, pushing off of the barstool he was on.

I watched him leave, still confused as to why he would be mad at me. Usually when I was drunk, I didn’t do anything horrible to the boys. So had I done something stupid that had annoyed Michael? I grabbed my toast and headed towards my room. As I was walking, I saw Calum leading Estelle down the stairs. My eyes went wide as the sight of them. What was she doing in his room? When we came back last night, I had assumed that she was asleep or at least with Ashton since she had cut me off the day before. I took in the baggy shirt she was wearing, Calum’s. I noticed it right away, it being one of Cal’s favorite to wear when he was in a mood. Why the hell was Estelle wearing his shirt? She stopped in her tracks as our eyes met. I watched as anger flashed in them. What happened last night that Estelle was having this reaction to me? I knew that she said we couldn’t be in a relationship and left me confused in her room, but was it really something so horrible that she would be angry with me?

“Morning,” I said in hopes of just being able to get a response.

“Mornin’” Calum said, a glare coming from him too.

Estelle refused to look at me as she continued walking. I felt the tension radiating from her as she walked by. It hurt to know that there was something bothering her to the point of her not speaking to me.

“What’s up?” I asked, Estelle continuing down the stairs as Calum met me on the landing.

“Nothing dude. Just talking,” he said with a shrug.

There was anger in his eyes too. What the fuck happened between my downing that last shot and coming home?

“About what?” I asked, curiosity getting the best of me.

“How you’re a fucking idiot to be perfectly honest,” he said, anger in his tone.

“What the hell did I do?” I asked, feeling like I was being attacked.

“Why don’t you ask the girl you had shove her tongue down your throat while people took pictures and put them on Twitter?” he accused before walking away.

“Wait, what?” I asked, confusion taking over my brain.

Had I seriously let another girl kiss me last night? Or was Calum just messing with me? As I looked at him, I realized that it wasn’t possible for him to mess with me this way.

“Take a look at Twitter then think about how you’re gonna fix it this time,” he practically growled.

I groaned, hanging my head and staring at the food on my plate. Had I seriously messed up so badly that Estelle didn’t even want to look at me? I sat on my bed and took out my phone. There were thousands of tweets with pictures of me kissing some girl I don’t remember on the dance floor of the club last night. What made it worse was that in the pictures, it almost looked like Estelle. Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes as I continued scrolling. How did I let this happen? I felt like a horrible person without a way of apologizing. How could Estelle forgive me for this? If she even could, would we be able to be together?

➢➢➢

Estelle sat the farthest she could on the way to Central Park. Even at Central Park, she stayed by Ashton the whole time. It suddenly didn’t feel like I should be there with them. I watched as they walked together, Estelle pointing her camera at different things and making everyone else pose for her and Ashton smiling at her. Was there something there? There was clearly something between her and Calum. Had I really ruined our relationship with one night away from her? My heart jumped when she turned around and snapped a picture of me. Our eyes met and saw the hurt and love causing a storm in her hazel eyes. She turned away quickly, going back to talk to Ashton. It was his birthday so I understood the attention being on him, but the look her eyes stayed with me longer than anything else. I had hurt this one person that I had come to love so much over the past three years of our friendship, particularly more in the past year and a half. Was she trying to move on now because of my actions? I sighed, deciding to just hang back a bit so I wouldn’t make her more upset. I let my thoughts wash over me as I walked along, not really finding the park as beautiful as I had the first time I saw it.

“Why are you so upset?” Michael asked, walking next to me.

“I made a mistake last night and I don’t know how to fix it,” I said, my eyes catching someone with a giant camera following us.

“You did make a mistake. Hey why are you walking faster?” he asked, trying to keep up.

“Mike, cameras,” I whispered, glancing over at them again.

He moved with me, making sure we could keep some privacy.

“Luke, what the hell?” Estelle asked as I pulled her hood of her hoodie up.

“Paparazzi,” I said quickly, looking up at Ashton.

He nodded and we rushed her towards the car, letting her get in quickly. Calum, Michael and Crystal followed shortly after.

“The rockstar bullshit doesn’t work here so grow up Luke. I’m not a toy you can play with and then refuse to have people see me!” she yelled, taking myself and everyone else in the car by surprise.

Her eyes were filled with anger and I could tell how long she had been holding in her feelings.

“Estelle,” I said, trying to calm her down.

I reached out to touch her shoulder, but she slapped my hand away. I stared at her in shock, seeing the tears that were in her eyes.

“Don’t touch me,” she said, her voice breaking slightly.

Ashton wrapped an arm around her and practically shielded her from me. It was like I was on the outside looking in.

“Okay, let’s just go back for a little bit and then get ready for dinner,” Crystal said, watching all three of us closely.

“Yeah,” Ashton and I agreed at the same time.

I sat there, looking out the window the entire car ride back. How was I supposed to make this better?

➢➢➢

ESTELLE’S POV

Ashton sat on one of the chairs that was in my room. I felt nervous about giving him the gift that I worked on. I picked up the sleek black box with a ribbon on it before turning to look at him.

“What do you got there bugs?” he asked, eyes twinkling as he took in the box.

“Happy Birthday Ash,” I said quietly, a small smile on my face as I handed it to him.

“You didn’t have to get me anything,” he said, running his fingers over the box.

“Yeah well, it’s your birthday so you should know better by now,” I teased, still standing in front of him.

I felt my palms starting to sweat as he slowly opened it. A smile blossomed over his face as he took out the book I made.

“Estelle, this is-”

“A personalized photo album of our friendship over the years, including the boys and when I met your family for the first time,” I explained, seeing a few tears well up.

“It’s perfect. Thank you,” he said, a crack in his voice before he stood up.

He wrapped his arms around me in a bear hug, almost squeezing me too much. I laughed into his chest at his reaction, but let him hug me as much as he wanted.

“I love you bugs,” he said, pulling away and kissing my forehead.

“I love you too Ash,” I giggled, smiling up at him.

It felt like the first time I was really smiling since the whole Luke debacle. Ashton always knew how to make me smile, cheer me up, or even make sure that I was enjoying at least some part of my day. He really was the perfect best friend.

“So, you and Luke,” he said, a strained tone in his voice.

“I didn’t mean to yell at him,” I admitted, sighing a little.

“It sounded a little out of nowhere,” he said, laughing a little at me.

“I know, I know. He just came out of nowhere with the sudden touching and protecting and he was all over someone else last night. It just pissed me off,” I said, walking over and falling back on my bed.

“I know, but bugs, you just went at him,” he argued, moving so he was lying next to me.

“Ugh, I let my anger take over and ruined your birthday,” I said, looking over at him.

He had a smile on his face instead of being upset.

“Estelle, you didn’t ruin my birthday. It’s okay that you were upset, but I really think you should talk to him. You’re never gonna know or understand until you do,” he said, giving me the look of you know I’m right.

“And what would I be finding out? That he thought some other girl wouldn’t matter? That if we weren’t together, he didn’t have to wait for me?” I said, my tone full of venom.

“Estelle, listen. You know how Luke is when he’s drunk. There’s a lack of paying attention to his surroundings. Do you honestly think he went out looking to makeout with some girl he didn’t know?” he asked, his words ringing in my ears.

“No,” I grumbled, hating that he was right yet again.

“Okay. So do you think he meant to hurt you?” he continued, making me sigh.

“No,” I repeated, frustration in my tone.

“Okay then what’s the harm in talking to him?” he asked, sitting up to look at me.

“Finding out that he won’t wait for my dad to stop being an ass,” I admitted, unable to meet his eyes.

“Bugs, he will. I know he will,” he reassured, taking my hand in his.

“I’ll try to talk to him then,” I said, giving in slightly.

“Great. Now, get ready because my birthday dinner is a very fancy one and I won’t have you not looking like a million bucks,” he teased, pulling me up with him.

“And whatever shall I wear for the birthday boy?” I asked, letting him drag me over to the closet.

“Hmm, let’s see here,” he said, laughing a little while he searched through my closet.

He pushed hangers until he halted completely, a smile coming over his face.

“This one,” he said, taking the dark green, skater dress from my closet.

“Yeah?” I asked, watching him pretend to make it twirl around.

“Yes. You’ll look stunning,” he said, handing it over to me.

I took the dress from him and pushed him out of my room.

“I’ll see you soon bugs,” he said, waving before running down the stairs.

I laughed, closing the door and staring at the dress. It wasn’t much, but it was still a dress that I loved for how it flowed around me. I gently zipped the dress up, admiring how it looked in the mirror. The clasp on my nude heels felt cold against my ankle and I took in my appearance one last time. Ashton was right, I looked like a million bucks.

➢➢➢

Crystal and I took a cab separately from the boys so we wouldn’t be harassed by the paparazzi. Ashton sat at the head of the table once we were seated at Ristorante Morini. I sat on one side of him, Luke across from me and Calum next to me. The tension between myself and Luke had dissipated slightly, but now Luke was glaring at Calum for some unknown reason.

“And what can I for you miss?” the waiter asked, his eyes trailing up and down my body.

I rolled my eyes before putting on a fake smile.

“I’ll have the Parmigiano Tortelloni please,” I said, giving my tone a sickly sweetness to it.

“And to drink?” he continued, his eyes landing on my chest.

“A miele,” I said, my accent for the Italian names sounding perfect.

“And for you sir?” he asked, turning to Ashton.

“One, I would appreciate it if you didn’t ogle my girlfriend. Second, I’ll have the salmon with a glass of sparkling prosecco,” Ashton said, his tone full of ice.

The waiter flushed, nodding and quickly jotting his order down. I flashed an appreciative smile towards Ashton before I listened to Luke’s order. He ordered the same thing as me except he got a salad with it too. Once the waiter was gone, everyone went back to normal conversation, no one acknowledging what Ashton had done. I weaved in and out of the conversations, always letting Luke’s voice catch in my ears as I passed between trying to ignore him and trying to talk to him. My attempts for both were futile, never feeling like it was the right time or the right place to attempt a conversation of any kind. A warm hand landed on my leg. I looked up, meeting Calum’s brown eyes. He gave me a small smile and squeezed gently.

“Don’t worry Elle. You guys will work it out,” he whispered after leaning towards me so only I could hear him.

“We’ll see,” I whispered back, giving him another smile.

He went back to talking to Michael about something. I turned back to talk to Ashton when I caught Luke’s eyes on me, almost like they were burning a hole through my body. My eyes hesitantly lifted to meet his, catching the jealousy and hurt at war in the ocean blue. It made me wish that things were different right now, that he was the one next to me instead of Calum. The food came, taking me out of my thoughts and away from looking at Luke. We all ate quietly, only a few notes about how good the food is here and there. It wasn’t until they brought Ashton’s birthday cake out that we all really started talking. He laughed while we all badly sang “Happy Birthday” to him.

“Happy Birthday Ash!” I cheered along with everyone else.

He blew out the candles in one fell swoop and we all clapped like we were impressed. I felt the night winding down, but I saw the look in Ashton’s eyes.

“Boys! Let’s go out for a bit and let the girls take the rest of the night off,” he suggested, staring at his friends.

It was dangerous to say no to Ashton on his birthday, we all knew it. They all nodded, Luke’s being a bit more hesitant than the rest of the boys. Crystal and I got up before they could leave. I pressed a kiss to Ashton’s cheek quick.

“Don’t get too wild now,” I teased, waving to the rest of the boys before heading out.

“He won’t make the same mistake tonight you know,” Crystal said once we got back.

“What?” I asked, a little confused by what she meant.

“Luke. He’ll be with Ashton and he knows that he was a dick last night, so he won’t do the same thing again,” she said like it was that simple.

A part of me knew she was right, but the other part of me got angry.

“He shouldn’t have done it in the first place,” I mumbled, walking up to my room.

“Wait, do you not know that he went out because Ashton let it slip that you can’t be with him right now?” she asked, staring at me in shock.

“No. Ashton didn’t tell me that,” I said quietly, thinking about what that would have done to Luke, stopping in my tracks.

It still didn’t add up to him making out with some other girl though.

“Yeah, Cal took him out so he could just let off some steam. Luke wandered off though and Calum couldn’t find him until he got back here,” she explained and stopped on the stairs up to her and Michael’s room.

“Cal said that last night,” I mentioned, realizing that not everyone knew I was in Calum’s room last night.

“Um, go back. You were in Cal’s room last night?” she asked, an arch to her eyebrow.

“Yeah. He came into my room after he got back looking for Luke and found me on the floor crying. He basically carried me up to his room to talk and try to calm down,” I said, walking towards my room.

“Well, you know that Luke won’t do it again right?” she called after me.

“Yep!” I lied, closing my door softly.

If he wouldn’t do it again, he shouldn’t have done it in the first place.

➢➢➢

LUKE’S POV

I helped Calum get Ashton into the apartment, his drunken nature making him too difficult for just one of us. He stumbled over his feet as we sat him on the bed.

“Best birthday,” he slurred, making us laugh.

I shook my head before letting Calum take over. The need for a shower was strong right now. My feet carried me up the stairs, but I paused when I heard Estelle’s voice. She sounded hurt and angry, but I could tell that she wasn’t talking about me to Crystal. The small crack in her door was too tempting to just go into my room.

“No I promise that we aren’t together dad. I did as you asked,” she said, a crack in her voice.

I wanted to push the door open and comfort her, but I knew that wouldn’t be okay right now.

“He was just trying to keep me out of pictures. I swear that I’m not doing anything against what you asked,” she said, her voice strained.

It sounded like she was fighting back tears. It hurt me to hear her so distressed. The sound of a thud made me want to open the door more. It was followed by the clear sound of her crying and it cut through me. She was already mad at me and if I went into her room, she’d probably be even madder. I went into my room, but didn’t close the door in hopes that she’d walk in and talk to me this time.

“Are you gonna go in there?” Calum asked quietly from the doorway.

“No. I don’t want to make it worse,” I admitted, taking off my boots.

“Luke, you know that she’s more hurt by what happened last night than anything right?” he asked, leaning against the door frame.

“I know. There’s a connection between us and I know that isn’t an excuse for my behavior. I just don’t know what’s happening though. We were good for like one day and then suddenly, there’s just a reason she won’t tell me about why we can’t be together,” I said, shrugging off the suit jacket and hanging it back up.

“She’ll tell you when she’s ready Luke,” he reassured, giving me a look.

“I hope so,” I sighed, giving him a small smile.

“I’ll go check on her though,” he said, nodding towards Estelle’s room.

“Thanks. One sec though,” I said, reaching into my dresser and taking out my white tee that she loved.

“Give this to her in case she wants it,” I said, knowing that there was slight jealousy behind my actions.

“I will. I’ll get you if I need to,” he said, giving me a slight nod before closing my door.

I stood there for a moment, hoping that she’d take the shirt in her hands and know that I wanted everything to be okay. It was a risk right now, but it was Estelle and every risk was worth it for her.

Well, I am so very sorry for the long wait for the next chapter. Life’s been a little hectic recently. But here we go, back at it again.

tag loves: @24kcalum @thruheavenandhighwater@slimthicccal @notoriouslyhood @bbycal @tommossoccer @a-little-international @cashton-queen @thebookamongmen@jetblackyoungblood @kiss-the-kat @no-guilt-in-living

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natasha-cole · 6 years

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#1 Crush: Part 11

Chapter Summary: Rob can’t seem to make the right choices when it comes to Reader’s birthday. Despite yet another almost failed attempt at making her birthday special, Rob does end up redeeming himself.

Word Count: 6149

Warnings: fluff, angst, arguing, swears, creepy fan, paranoia, anxiety, panic attack

Notes: This has been sitting in my drafts for weeks, so I read through it quickly and here it is. All mistakes are my own and you’ll just have to deal with it.

P.S. a lot of my tags aren’t working, so I apologize.

Series Masterlist

Word of the events on set had spread, and you had people checking in on you a lot. You knew they were just expressing their concerns, worried because of how terrified you were about all of this. You were just embarrassed at this point.

And scared? Yes, you were very afraid. Even after you left set after the whole ‘flowers from Rob thing’ the fear didn’t leave you. As your bodyguard saw you to your door and said goodnight, you realized then that you were terribly alone and very vulnerable.

Unlike most nights after you got back to your apartment, you didn’t call Rob that night. Hearing his voice would have been comforting usually, but you honestly couldn’t decide if you were mad at him or not.

After the initial shock of what had happened wore off, you wondered why he had even thought to send you flowers in the first place. Normally, it would have been a thoughtful gesture, and you often joked with him about how he had never sent you flowers; now, you just assumed that a gesture like that wasn't even a thought in his mind after everything.

You didn’t want to worry him, and you had seen the missed calls when you actually took your phone out of your bag once you walked through the door. Still, you didn’t know if you could hold it together if you had him on the phone. So, you settled for a text message. It would be quick and would give no indication about how you were really feeling.

Y/N: Late night on set. I’m wiped. I miss you.

You didn’t even have time to take off your jacket when he responded.

Rob: Y/N, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking. Please call me.

You frowned, knowing that Rich probably said something to him. You certainly hadn’t. You didn’t even so much as send him a ‘thank you’ message after the whole debacle.

Y/N: It’s fine. Just a misunderstanding. I’m fine.

Rob: You really won’t call me?

Y/N: I’m just really tired. Heading to bed now. TTYL.

You had been uncharacteristically short with him, and you didn’t like that you wanted to keep tonight’s communication so impersonal. But, you were actually exhausted. Everything had drained you today, and the last thing you wanted was to hear his voice knowing that he was probably really upset about his actions. You hated that he blamed himself for a lot of this, and you just couldn’t handle him feeling guilty over his lack of thinking when he sent you the flowers.

Rob: Are we okay?

Y/N: Of course. I really miss you. I can’t wait to see you in a couple of days. Also, the gesture was nice. I’m sorry I overreacted.

You added a heart emoji at the end for good measure and tossed your phone onto the nightstand before getting ready for bed.

The last message you received from Rob was him saying that he was sorry again and that he missed you too. You left him on read, not wanting to keep the conversation going tonight. All you wanted was to sleep and forget about today.

Sleep was far and few in between though. You tossed and turned, replaying everything in your mind. You were still embarrassed over the way you reacted, or rather, overreacted. You were upset that Rich had probably called his friend and told him all about what a nutcase you were. You were still feeling suffocated just knowing that tomorrow would be yet another day where you couldn’t go anywhere or even breathe alone. Mostly, you were thinking.

You thought about what you could have done to have gotten yourself into this situation. Was Rob right? Was all of this being done by someone you might know? The scarier thought was that you were certain it wasn’t. You felt that this was a stranger, a stranger who knew a lot about you and spent his time writing to you and judging you. You thought about the horrible things in those letters, the names you were being called on social media, the frantically typed tweets that not only attacked you, but Rob as well. You thought about the flowers; the ungodly amount of flowers that you had received and how even the thought of flowers now made your skin crawl. You thought a lot about how insensitive Rob had been even though he hadn’t meant to be.

You let out a frustrated sigh, burying your face in your pillow as you finally gave up on the notion of sleep. It wasn’t going to happen tonight. Not now since you were thinking about how terrified you had been when you considered the possibility that this weirdo could have been in your trailer.

At no point through any of this had you ever worried about the possibility of someone showing up at your home, but that brief moment of wondering as you stood in your trailer made you realize otherwise. After all, someone had found your hotel room before and left you a note, who’s to say they couldn’t find you back in L.A. or even here in Vancouver?

Still, there had been no indication that whoever it was knew where you were staying outside of the conventions. Even as you laid in bed tonight in your little apartment in Canada, restless and nervous, you knew you were only working yourself up over nothing. That didn’t stop you from being afraid though.

You drifted off to sleep finally at some point late that night. Or early the next morning… you couldn’t be sure. All you knew was that you were suddenly being pulled from your restless sleep to the sound of your phone ringing. You blindly reached for your phone, answering it before taking time to do much else.

“Hello,” you grumbled when you picked up.

You assumed it was Rob calling, probably still upset that you hadn’t called him right after work. However, you were greeted by silence.

“Hello? Rob, is that you?” You said again, still waiting for some sort of reply.

When you you didn’t get one, you pulled your phone away from your ear to look at the screen. You had unexpectedly answered a call from an unknown number; something that you never did, and this was the type of call you rarely got since you never gave out your number.

Whoever had called was still on the line as you then focused on the time. It was nearly 3 am. No way anyone you knew would call you at this time, especially not Rob.

“Who is this?” You asked, trying to get something out of whoever was on the line as you returned to the call.

At this point, you didn’t know if anyone was even there. Still, you felt a shiver run down your back at the strangeness of the phone call. Rather than upset yourself by trying to encourage something from the caller, you ended the call; turning your phone on silent before tossing it aside again. You grumpily curled up under your blankets before closing your eyes again, hoping that sleep would find you for just a little while longer.

The next day, you had to force yourself from bed. You weren’t sure how much sleep you had actually gotten, but you knew it wasn’t enough. You were already running late, so you quickly showered and got dressed; only grabbing your things just before you left your apartment to head to set.

Once you had arrived, you trudged to hair and makeup where the crew was quick to point out how terrible you looked. You didn’t even argue or feel bad about it. You knew you had to look as bad as you felt right now.

As someone got to work on your hair, you took the time to check your phone. The first thing you noticed were the missed calls. You looked through your call history, assuming that Rob had called and you just hadn’t heard your phone since it was still on silent. Instead, you saw that you had a few missed calls from an unknown number. All of them had happened ridiculously early in the morning while you had been asleep. In that moment, you got a little nervous. You recalled answering one of those calls that had pulled you from your sleep, only to be greeted by nothing on the other end of the call.

Now, you were seeing that they had called multiple times within minutes of each other. You immediately decided that you couldn’t overreact to this. They had been random calls, probably accidental or something. Getting phone calls from unknown callers wasn’t something to get freaked out about. This stuff happened to people all the time.

You deleted your call history and turned to a text message that you had received instead.

You had to smile when you saw Rob’s name, followed by a very sweet good morning text.

Instead of texting back, you decided that you were ready to call him. Yes, you had been upset with him, but you still adored him and really needed to hear his voice right now.

When you found his number and pressed call, you waited for him to answer.

“Y/N!” Rob’s voice said excitedly when he picked up. “I thought you’d never call me. I thought I was in trouble.”

“You’re not in trouble,” you chuckled. “I just had a rough day and I really was tired last night.”

“I’m so sorry,” he replied. “I don’t know what I was thinking sending you those. As soon as Rich called me and told me about that… I knew I fucked up.”

“It’s okay. I just- maybe I am a little freaked out over everything that’s been happening. I should’ve just read the card first.”

“No, I shouldn’t have done that. Especially with everything that’s been going on.”

“I’m fine,” you said. “Really. I just needed to process everything. I’m not mad at you. The flowers really are beautiful.”

“I should be able to send my girlfriend flowers without scaring her,” Rob said softly.

You could hear him shuffling about in the background of the call and you decided to ignore the conversation at hand.

“What are you doing?” You asked.

“I am on my way out,” he replied. “Heading to the studio.”

“How’s it going?” You asked, referring to the fact that the guys were recording.

“It’s good. We’re getting a lot done, probably because I don’t have you around to distract me.”

“Ouch.”

“Really though,” he laughed. “I miss you. But, I’ve been working all day, every day while you’ve been gone. Trying to keep myself busy I guess.”

“I miss you too,” you smiled. “Just one more day and we see each other again.”

“Just one more day and someone has a birthday,” he reminded you.

“Maybe we can avoid bringing up the fact that I’m getting older.”

“Hey, you kept reminding me about my birthday, it’s your turn.”

“I’m just glad my birthday is on the day before the actual convention starts,” you began. “I just want to spend it with you.”

“Sounds good to me,” he said. “What are you thinking? Dinner? Date Night? Maybe we could all get together for a night out… or maybe just a night in bed with room service?”

“Honestly, I’d really love just a night in with you right now.”

“I can handle that.”

“So please; no party, no night out… just you and me.”

“Alright,” he replied. “So then I should probably cancel the real plans I made?”

“Really?” You asked. “Did you really make plans?”

“I’m kidding,” he chuckled.

Just as Rob finished his thought, you were being instructed to head to wardrobe.

“Look, I gotta go,” you said. “I’ll see you soon.”

“Alright, Y/N. See you soon.”

Chicago Convention

Day one of the convention would be your birthday, but you honestly didn’t feel like celebrating.

You had arrived in Chicago alone. Rob and some of the others were already there by now, but they were always put to work rather early, so you were left to your own devices as you journeyed from the airport to the hotel.

You checked in at the front desk, wishing that Rob was with you, but also grateful that he had arranged to have the two of you just share a room this weekend. It made sense really. It’s not like you ever stayed in your own room lately now that you were together, and it wasn’t like you were going to have privacy anyway with a protective boyfriend.

Rob had called you when you let him know that you had landed. He had already checked into the room and said that he had left a key at the front desk for you. He wanted to make sure that you were good to go, and insisted that you just head up to the room. You were slightly bummed that he was so busy, but he did promise you a night in of cuddling and room service once he was done.

Honestly, that was all you had been really looking forward to all week. Just spending time alone with him.

Since you had literally just arrived in Chicago and the convention wouldn’t start until tomorrow, there hadn’t been any type of security guard or anything waiting for you when you got in. While you could complain all day about how annoying it was to have someone follow you around, you sort of wished it had been arranged for you now.

You made your way to the right floor and down the long, empty hallway until you found the room.

You paused at the door, feeling a sudden sense of anxiety come over you. If anything, you should have felt safer now that you had arrived at what would be a safe place. Maybe it was the impending darkness of night and the fact that you were here alone until Rob was able to meet you; or maybe it was the memory of how scared you had felt over the incident previously; but you couldn’t shake the nervousness as it built up.

‘It’s just a hotel room,’ you told yourself. ‘No one is here. You’re alone, but there’s nothing to be afraid of. Rob will be here soon.’

You slowly put the keycard in the slot and turned the handle, opening the door to be greeted at first by darkness.

You reached against the wall, fumbling to find the light switch. You knew to expect nothing; just an empty hotel room probably containing Rob’s luggage. That was what you kept telling yourself as you tried to find the switch.

‘I’m alone, and that’s okay,’ you thought to yourself.

When you finally found the switch, you flipped it on and peered into the room.

“Surprise!”

You heard numerous voices shout at you. Just the fact that you obviously weren’t alone startled you; but it was the sudden appearance of people, stepping out from around corners, popping up from behind furniture; that made your heart race.

Your felt your face heat up, skin tingling as you realized that your breathing had picked up. You froze completely, fear taking over as you tried to process what was happening. Your fight-or-flight response activated and you considered turning around to run, but you began to take in the surroundings before you made that split-decision. Slowly, you began to recognize faces.

There was Rob, standing directly in front of you, giving you that big smile that you adored so much. That was the first thing you saw, and it was the only thing that held you in place as you felt panic rise up in your body. You glanced around quickly, noticing all your friends… all familiar faces. You took in the room next.

This was a surprise party. You could tell by the birthday decorations, the array of food set out, the rather large birthday cake on the table. It all made sense now.

Still, no matter how hard you tried to calm yourself now that you understood that you were okay, the panic continued to build.

“Y/N,” Rob began. The concern in his voice forced you to look at him. Then you saw the concern in his eyes as he moved toward you. “Are you okay?”

He reached out, grasping onto your arms as he looked at you, urging you to let him know that you were perfectly fine.

You opened your mouth, trying to form words… any words to let him know it was okay.

Instead, you felt yourself break. You began to sob, feeling your heart race as you were no longer able to hold back.

“Shit,” he muttered as he immediately attempted to hold you.

In an instant, you pushed past him, aware of the fact that you were losing it in front of everyone. All you wanted to do was remove yourself from view. He let you move, watching you as you shakily rushed past everyone.

Once you made it to the bathroom, you closed the door behind you and continued to sob. You tried to steady your breathing, tried to ignore the dizziness you were feeling; but you couldn’t stop crying no matter how much you wanted to.

You could hear the faint sound of knocking on the door and Rob’s voice asking you to let him in. He sounded so worried, and you didn’t want to worry him, so you fumbled for the doorknob until you finally unlocked it for him.

He rushed right in, closing the door behind him before attending to you. You had already returned to your spot on the floor, knowing that you couldn’t stand anymore. You were still crying and now just frustrated with yourself that you couldn’t stop.

Rob immediately joined you, kneeling down in front of you and pulling you in to his body. That in itself was sort of calming. Just having him here holding you was comforting.

“Shh,” he cooed as he pulled back to look at you. “You’re gonna be okay.”

You continued to cry, slowing down just a bit as he grabbed your hands and pulled them up to his face. He held you there, encouraging you to touch him and look him in the eyes.

“You’re okay. I’m right here. Breathe for me.”

You tried to focus on touching him, feeling the rough hairs of his beard beneath your fingertips. You locked eyes with him, listening to his calming voice as you began to breathe your way through the panic attack.

He continued to talk to you soothingly, although you couldn’t quite comprehend most of what he said. Regardless, it helped. After a few minutes, you felt your heart rate slow down, you stopped crying, and the dizziness began to subside.

“Look at that,” he smiled as you continued to hold his face in your hands. “You’re good baby. I’m right here.”

Once you were finally past it, you let out a stuttered sigh. You wrapped your arms around him and pulled him in so that you could rest your head against him. He held you tight, understanding that you just needed him right now.

When you had calmed down just enough to let everything process finally, you began to pull yourself together, knowing that you still had to go out and face everyone who had showed up for your apparent surprise party. You didn’t know if you could, but you knew you had to try. Maybe no one had realized what had happened to you. Maybe they all just thought you had been so surprised that you had to run off to cry happy tears alone. That was far-fetched and you knew deep down that literally all of your friends had just witnessed you having a panic attack over this. Still, you had to face it. You had to face them as bravely as you could. After all, you were still playing off this entire situation as if it weren’t that serious and you really didn’t want to give them a reason to believe it was that serious.

“I’m so sorry,” Rob mumbled as he helped you up from the floor. “I wasn’t thinking.”

“It’s not your fault,” you said with a forced laugh as you wiped tears from your face. ”A surprise party isn’t supposed to give me a panic attack.”

“I should have known. I'm fucking everything up. Are you okay?”

“I’m okay now. I was already making myself anxious when I showed up here knowing I’d be alone.”

“Fuck, I shouldn’t have done this.”

“Rob,” you said softly as you cupped his face in your hands again. “I’m okay. I’m sorry I did that. I don’t know why I did that.”

“Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault. It’s my fault for convincing everyone to jump out at you when you thought you were supposed to be alone. I’m the worst boyfriend.”

“You absolutely are not,” you said firmly. “You’re the best. Do you know how many people in my life have ever cared enough to organize a surprise party for me? One.”

“I thought it would be a fun gesture,” he said. “I just didn’t think it through. Just like I didn’t think the whole flower thing through.”

“Still, I love that you even think of doing these things for me. It’s not your fault that you’ve got a girlfriend who happens to have a creep bugging her.”

“I’ll be better,” he promised. “I’ll actually stop to think about what I’m doing. I never meant to scare you, in any way.”

“I know.”

He let out a sigh, seemingly relaxed now that he could see that you weren’t angry with him. Any bit of anger that you might have had about the whole flower thing had quickly washed away by this point. In fact, you weren’t even mad about this whole thing. Instead, you felt really grateful that you had someone who cared about you enough to even think of doing these types of things for you. Rob was sweet and thoughtful, but perhaps he just wasn’t completely understanding of how he should handle your unique situation.

You realized just now, as he looked guilty and worried, how much you really did love him. Sure, he had organized the entire surprise that had ultimately sent you into a panic attack, but at least he was here to get you through it. After all, the fear and anxiety you were feeling lately, wasn’t his fault. You couldn’t expect him to know how to handle things when even you weren’t sure how to handle anything either.

You moved to press your body against his, craving the comfort that you felt just by being close to him. He embraced you, holding you tight as you relaxed against him. All you needed was a moment like this with him. When you thought that you were okay enough to finally leave the bathroom and possibly partake in your party, you pulled away from him and offered him a smile before kissing him softly on the lips.

“You want me to make everyone leave?” He asked as you focused on splashing water on your face.

“What?” You asked. “No! No way. You planned this party for me and I intend to partake.”

“Really?” He smiled. “You sure you’re up for it?”

“I just had a panic attack in front of everyone,” you explained as you dried your face off. “I freaked out this week over flowers that were sent by my boyfriend. It’s been rough. I need a lot of drinks, time with my friends, and you.”

You reached over and grasped onto his hand, giving it a squeeze just to let him know that it was fine.

Everyone seemed to know better than to bring up your display of anxiety when you finally decided to face them. Once you had cooled down and made yourself look a bit more presentable, you emerged from the bathroom with Rob, smile plastered on your face as you greeted your friends properly.

No one said anything and no one made a big deal out of it. They smiled in return, probably relieved to see you not in the middle of a panic attack, as you took time to thank and hug each of them.

As the party went on, you found yourself relaxing a bit. Although this hadn’t been what you had expected or really wanted for your birthday, the gesture was nice. You also realized that you were having a good time actually hanging out with friends again. Everyone was having fun, and it helped that no one brought up your panic attack or even discussed the things that had been going on.

It was as if everyone knew that you just wanted to ignore it for a while, and they were all set on making sure that you just had a good time tonight. Drinks were flowing, everyone was laughing, and your world felt safe and comfortable for a moment.

That is, until you excused yourself from a conversation with the girls so that you could use the restroom. After you had washed up and made the movement to leave the bathroom, you could hear Rob and Rich talking just outside the door.

You paused when you heard your name mentioned, Rich just asking Rob if you were really okay. You knew you shouldn’t listen in on their conversation, but it was about you, so you figured it was okay.

“That was interesting,” you heard Rich say.

“I’m such an idiot,” Rob berated himself. “All she does is worry about where she is and who else could be there. She’s always so anxious, even if she denies that she is, and I should have known better than to throw a fucking surprise party.”

“You were just trying to do something nice.”

“I told her to meet me at my room,” he argued. “She was under the impression that she’d be alone until I got here later. Can you imagine? Showing up somewhere, knowing that you have some freak following you, and just having people jump out at you when you’re supposed to be alone?”

“None of us thought about it either, Rob.”

“I just- feel so bad. She’s scared, I know she is. We all kept pretending it was nothing to worry about… just another enthusiastic fan. But, she’s got someone sending her fucked up messages, sending her gifts… god, I can't believe I sent her flowers… you should have seen the stuff her manager showed her.”

“How long has this been going on exactly?”

“Months. They’ve been holding onto letters he’s sent her. They started out as just any other fan letter, and they’ve gotten scary. Enough to where they finally showed her.”

“Shit,” Rich muttered. “Is that all it’s been though? Letters, social media comments?”

“As far as we know. Then there’s the weird way that he sends her flowers. Yet another thing that I messed up.”

“Ah, I’m aware of how well she receives flowers.”

“I can’t even send my girlfriend flowers because it freaks her out.”

“All I can say is… as long as this guy is keeping his distance, there’s nothing to worry about I think. Letters and flower deliveries are one thing… I mean, the social media stuff was concerning, but at least it’s only online and easy to avoid.”

“You didn’t see those letters,” Rob reminded him.

That was your cue to leave the bathroom. You opened the door quickly, acting surprised to see the two men standing there when you did.

They looked at each other and you just smiled at them.

“Rob,” you began, attempting to cut in before he could say much more. It was bad enough that everyone had witnessed your freak out and they were aware somewhat of the things going on, you really didn’t need them to know about the threats you had been receiving. “Can I see you for a moment?”

“Yeah, sure,” he said anxiously before excusing himself from Rich.

You grabbed him by the arm and pulled him toward a less crowded part of the room so that you could talk to him privately.

“Is everything okay?” He asked. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” you replied. “I just- I wanted to ask you to maybe not tell everyone details on what’s going on.”

“Oh. You heard me talking to Rich…”

“I did.”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been talking about you and all of this like that. It’s not my place.”

“It’s fine. I’m not mad.”

“He was just worried, and I feel like no one knows how serious this has all gotten.”

“You’re right,” you replied. “No one really knows everything, especially about those letters. But, I’d kinda like to keep it that way.”

“Really? You don’t think it might be good for your friends to know how serious it all really is?”

“I mean, they know,” you argued. “They’ve seen the stuff online and most have seen how often I get unwanted gifts. They don’t need to know about the really… concerning stuff.”

“I kinda feel like, since you’re always around them, and this stuff happens at conventions, that maybe they should know how serious it really is.”

“No. I just- I don’t want anyone to treat me differently. I don’t want sympathy or for anyone to worry. I just want to come to work and have fun and be with the people I care about.”

“They worry, Y/N,” he sighed. “We all do.”

“I know. But, it’s been a while since anything has even happened. The thing on set was just me assuming the worst. I think it’s sort of calmed down.”

“I just want you to continue to take this seriously,” he argued. “Just because it’s been a week or so with nothing happening, doesn’t mean you’re in the clear.”

“Okay, and I get that. But, will you please just not mention those letters to anyone else? I don’t even want to think about them.”

“Okay,” he breathed out. “You’re right. It’s not okay for me to talk about that. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you smiled. “I just feel kind of suffocated right now, and I just want to have some privacy I guess.”

“Alright,” he replied as he leaned in to kiss you. “What do you say we just enjoy the party? Maybe not bring up any of this again, at least tonight?”

“You have no idea how amazing that sounds right now.”

By the end of the night, you and Rob had to kick out the remaining partiers. It was late, everyone had had too much fun, and you all had an early morning. Luckily, the room was in okay shape; and you were eagerly changing into pajamas and so ready to just be with Rob.

You watched him as he changed, noting that he looked so serious as he got ready for bed; so you decided to lighten the mood.

“You didn’t get me a gift,” you pointed out playfully as you snuck up behind him and wrapped your arms around him. You pressed a kiss to the bare skin of his back since you had caught him just before he slipped a shirt on.

“Of course I did,” he grinned as he turned to look at you.

“I must’ve missed it.”

“No, I just wanted to wait until we were alone to give it to you.”

He began to dig through his bag for something now and you stepped away so that he could find what he was looking for.

“Sex does not count as a gift,” you said, rolling your eyes.

“Well, I mean, I’m not opposed to that being a follow-up gift,” he said slyly, “But I did actually get you a real gift.”

He handed you a small box that was wrapped in pretty wrapping paper. You smiled at him before beginning to tear off the paper, wasting no time to see what he had gotten for you.

Once the paper was off, you noticed that this was definitely a jewelry box and you looked at him, sort of confused.

“Jewelry?” You asked, surprise in your voice as you held the small box in your hand.

Rob shrugged, still grinning.

“You’re gonna have to open it.”

You did as he suggested and opened the box.There, in that little box was a simple necklace with a heart shaped pendant on it. You removed it from the box and turned it over in your hand, then seeing that it was engraved. You smiled up at him this time, feeling a warmth grow in your chest to see your initial engraved next to his.

“Rob…” you said breathlessly. “This is beautiful.”

“There’s something on the back of it as well,” he pointed out.

You turned the pendant to the other side and had to laugh out loud when you read the inscription.

“Is it cool if I come over?” You read out loud.

Rob shrugged again, letting out a laugh as you smiled at him.

“What does this even mean?” You asked.

“You know I wrote that song about you, right?”

You had to pause for a moment. You stared at him, face turning up in even more confusion that previously. You actually never did know that. The band had released the album with that song on it not long after you actually joined the convention circuit. You figured you had only known Rob for roughly a month when it came out.

“Really?” You asked.

“Yeah,” he replied. “I wrote it not too long after we met. It was the last song we did for the album.”

“I don’t know if I should feel flattered or sad right now,” you mumbled as you looked down at the necklace.

“Oh,” Rob replied. “Please don’t feel sad. If you don’t like it-”

“I love it,” you cut in. “I just- it’s kinda sad to think about all the time we wasted by not telling each other that we liked each other.”

“Well, you know. Life,” he said. “You had a boyfriend and I had a crush, so I wrote a song. I just figured you should know that I wrote that thinking about you.”

“Okay. I’ve decided to be flattered,” you laughed. “Really, this is… so sweet.”

“It’s not too much, is it? I kinda felt like it might be. Because we just started seeing each other.”

“It’s not too much, Rob. This is the sweetest thing anyone’s ever given me.”

“So, it’s not too soon for jewelry?”

“I don’t know, is it?” You asked.

You wondered if you should think it was too soon for all of this, or if he felt like he had made a mistake by getting you such an expensive and meaningful gift. However, you loved it. You loved him and this gift just made you feel loved as well.

“Look,” he said softly as he moved closer to you, “all I know is that I’m in love with you. This felt right.”

You felt the twisting in your stomach as he said those words; not because you didn’t want to hear them, but because you were so excited to hear him finally say it. You had been holding back on using the “L” word for some time now, wondering if it would be too soon to say it to him. Now, you had confirmation that both of you felt the same way. It might be early on in your relationship, but you were both already there. You loved him and he loved you and it didn’t matter if this relationship was new; you were certain you had always loved each other.

“I love you too,” you replied.

You reached out to take his face in your hands, leading him toward you for a kiss. He kissed you gently at first, taking care to let you lead.

The gift was nice, you really did love it. But, more than anything, you were so happy to be at this point with him. You were content with just hearing him say those words to you.

After the kiss ended, and you pulled away, Rob made sure to help you put the necklace on. You touched it with your fingertips, still feeling so happy.

“Thank you,” you said again. “This means so much to me.”

“I’m glad you like it,” he replied.

“I’m never going to take it off.”

You turned to face him again, this time wrapping your arms around his shoulders as you looked into his eyes.

“I won’t argue with that,” he grinned. “But, maybe we could take off everything else, because I haven’t seen you in over a week and I really fucking missed you.”

“Well,” you said flirtatiously, “you did promise me that follow-up gift.”

Forever Tags (tag me in everything!)

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#1 Crush #rob benedict x reader #rob benedict rpf

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trickstarbrave · 6 years

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today in reasons i feel shitty: my friend blew up on me on twitter bc i kept ASKING him if he wanted to play dnd with us bc hes a part of our group. i asked him if he could LAST WEDNESDAY and he has been giving me the run around since then. saying “i dont know yet” and “ill tell you when i do”. i tell him to let us know sunday at least, because the only days off he has are monday and tuesday. he says okay

sunday evening comes and he hasnt said shit so i ask him. hes drunk and i tell him we’ll talk tomorrow. monday i ask him if he can play tomorrow and he says hes “not sure and will need to ask if theyre playing mtg” so i say “okay”. he doesnt reply back all day. TODAY i ask him if he wants to play today or not and he says “i have to pick up a court summons” (not, “actually sorry i am playing mtg today”, not “i dont feel like playing, im sorry”). i sound suspicious but say “okay” and remind him we havent played in over a week AS IS. and he then GOES OFF ON ME for “guilt tripping him” and “making it an ~obligation~ he plays” and how i “stress him out by asking over and over again”. when i tell him he should have told me straight out he didnt want to play instead of just giving vague “maybe i dont know” answers he gets defensive even more and says “I DID” and when i say “no, you didnt, the only thing vaguely like that is you saying “im gonna be tired” on a question about your days off. thats not a yes or no answer and lots of us play while tired so why would i assume it was something else”

“WELL ITS NOT MY FAULT YOURE A BUNCH OF SADISTS WHO HAD TO TURN A FUN CASUAL GAME INTO A OBLIGATION WHERE YOU ALL ARE FORCED TO PLAY SICK OR TIRED! i cant even SAY i dont want to play because you all guilt trip me and get mad when i do.”

see, he doesnt say “sorry guys my next days off will be full and im not up to it.” and apologize for keeping us waiting or giving us the go ahead to play without him (WEVE HAD THIS DISCUSSION BEFORE and PURPOSEFULLY made the game so if he doesnt want to play he can leave whenever so long as its not in the middle of a fucking mission. okay. its not like we just sit there doing nothing but complain if he cant play). he waits until the DAY OF OUR GAME to tell is he purposefully made plans on game night, no he cant change them, no he was absolutely always forced to do them right now during game time, and then get pissy when we all complain because we dont even have time to plan around him and have cleared out our evening for nothing and our time is wasted.

he then keeps going on and on because apparently i was just supposed to know the words “im tired” and his vague answers like hes genuinely unsure about the state of tomorrow were him “actually” telling me he doesnt even want to play and i should have fucking caught on, he wanted to quit this game MONTHS ago. i was just supposed to know him being ‘busy’ was a ‘secret message’ that actually meant ‘just stop even asking me when i want to play a game and hang out with my friends! just stop inviting me in general! i dont like you or the game! its not fun and stresses me out and im LYING to you.” and we just all fucking ignore him and play without him and let him figure out we havent even been giving him the opportunity to join to play

which is so fucking. terrible. who would just assume “thats what you mean”???? like imagine if you WERENT doing this and actually were really busy and your friends just eventually stopped even inviting you to game night, only for you to check the group chat months later and find out they have been playing without you and having fun and didnt even bother inviting you to anything at all. you just find this out. and by the time you figure it out they might have done a lot stuff or played games YOU wanted to play and they arent going to go back and replay the stuff you missed bc they just assumed you were lying to their faces and it wouldnt matter anyways if you were there or not. how hurtful would that be? imagine if some of your friends did that to you, would you be HAPPY they did it???

keep in mind HE is the one who picked out the VERY NEXT MISSION WE”RE ABOUT TO DO so fucking sorry if we assumed “HEY HE PROBABLY WANTS TO PLAY IT. YKNOW THE MISSION HE FUCKING PICKED OUT. THE MISSION INVOLVING STUFF SPECIFICALLY FOR HIS CHARACTER” oh my fucking god.

now i dont know the state of our group bc he yelled at me more and said he quit and deleted all his tweets and our dm is miserable and put the game on hiatus for 2 fucking weeks. i feel miserable too bc my friend has been lying to me and called me a guilt tripper and manipulative for reminding him hes stringing along 5 other people by not being fucking honest with us and said its OUR PROBLEM he cant be honest even though we structured the game so he can take MONTH long breaks if he needs to just give us the heads up. i told him he could quit once we got more than 3 players bc do you know how annoying it is to do a full campaign w only 2 characters playing???? bc one of the three dropped out??? i told him to just fucking play until then and he could quit for real and he went “but i DO wanna play : ( im just stressed!”

well now ill just fucking believe every time he complains abt smth like “man i have to spend money on this thing” that means we’re just not hanging out like we planned. im not gonna ask him if hes actually going to the ren fest even tho the bed situation was taken care of bc i just assume now that he only brought up the bed to tell me hes not fucking going and to fuck off. im not making a costume for it either if my best friend doesnt go im just gonna stay home.

i cant read the fucking air and he knows this. hes known me forever. he knows im ignorant and dont ‘get’ stuff like “if someone keeps canceling plans that means they want you to leave them the fuck alone and stop even inviting them or talking to them”. he knows im probably autistic and struggle with ‘unsaid” social cues like that and he just STILL does this and calls ME terrible for not ‘getting it’ and ‘forcing him’ to yell at me. im rtired.

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valeriemperez · 6 years

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Any other asks about the latest fandom incident are going under this cut, and I will not be making another post about it:

Just kinda feels like you're placing more of the blame on GG then you are on the actual media that could do better. I feel that GG has a right to stand up for himself. And it's suddenly his fault and his responsibility to shield CP from racism.

Though it may feel that way, it’s not what is happening. This is why I retweeted and liked tweets directed at media outlets, whereas all I did to Grant was like his post and say “no one deserves to be body shamed.”

Honestly no a week won't a difference in a long run imo. I don't think as racists keep piling on her she'll think "oh well I had that one week that wasn't so bad so I guess this is fine " I guess for me what GG does for CP behind the scenes has more of a long term effect then making things a little less worse for one week.

I am sure that Grant and Candice’s actions BTS have more of a long term effect on the show, I never suggested otherwise. On fandom behavior? Not at all.

I think you're giving the uglier side of the fandom way too much credit. When GG supported the "run iris run" it only inspired parts of the fandom to be against it. Take a browse through the comment section of the iris poster that's on his IG. I legit argued with a GG Stan on Instagram that they should be kinder CP cause she's GG's friend and the response was "I don't care if GG likes her I'm still going to hate her." At most they'll pretend to be nice for a week then go back to being horrible

G supporting RIR inspired some people to comment negatively, sure. But him making a post after that saying, “If you are hateful and racist towards my friend and costar, I will block you” probably would not cause that same reaction. But we will never know.

I actually disagree if you think public support is more important than the private support he's given her. I think a lot of you have some unreasonable expectations of GG making a post and the fandom going "guess we won't be racist anymore". GG is not enough to make someone give up that kind of hate in their heart I'm sorry if you thought he'd be the one to solve that problem. What he's done for her BTS and to the producers has a much longer effect then maybe the fandom playing nice for a day

I don’t think public support is more important, and I don’t think it’ll stop racism. This sounds similar to the ask above, so I think the same answer stands.

Yeah he'll shut haters up for a day. Then the SB fans who hate when GG does something nice for CP will get more jealous and aggressive. The fanboys who hate CP and will always hate her will continue to attack her. I'm not saying him publicly saying it won't be nice but if it does happen I think a lot of you will be disappointed in that it probably won't change anything.

We’ll never know.

Honest I feel like GG could publicly speak out but when it doesn't fix anything the fandom will continue to blame GG for everything. Especially since to me it makes more sense to confront media sites for not doing more for CP then to blame GG for having the gall to stand up for himself.

We have been confronting the media sites about it, don’t worry.

So Grant is only allowed to publicly defend himself if he defends other people? Also at some point it became his sole responsibility to defend everyone else? Maybe I'm reading you wrong but you're coming across as saying "Since he's not showing the support I want him to show that means he's not supportive to Candice".

I never said that, he is very welcome to defend himself. And yes, you are reading it wrong, because I have specifically stated that he is supportive of Candice and that she receives and appreciates that support.

Your stance on this seriously is that the reason CP continues to get racist attacks is because GG never made a public statement. I think you have this idea that GG is willfully denying CP any relief from being attacked. Even with GG's case the people who supported him are the ones who always supported him. The people who attacked him were pretty much laughing at him saying they won't stop because he made a post. GG got some press for sure but it won't change anything in the long run.

No, that is not my stance. My stance is that Grant has the power to make more people aware of the situation, and to make some people feel shame for their actions, but he hasn’t used it. Several people who attacked him beforehand apologized in the comments and said they hadn’t thought about it that way.

Several of his coworkers commented on the post he made supporting him and Shethority reposted his statement on their IG story to show love. Whereas when he accidentally liked the comment saying Iris should be killed off, he did not make a comment on Candice’s insta saying “I love working with you and can’t wait to continue!” or whatever, he merely went to the IGs of people claiming he wanted her killed off to say he never meant to like that comment. Whether things will change in the long run or not, all I said is that Grant doesn’t make videos or posts or leave comments when it comes to the hatred his co-stars have been sent. That’s it, that’s the whole point.

I know you're not saying more but I want to say this last thing. You're actually not simply saying he's doesn't publicly support her you're twisting it into a thing where GG is the reason CP gets racial attacks everyday and assuming you know what the outcome will be if he supports her the way you want her to be supported. You're more accusing GG of something that's not his fault.

You’re twisting it into that, I’m specifically not saying that. I already said we don’t know the outcome if he were to speak out publicly.

I mean he gave a lot of support for Candice for the Run Iris Run episode. He actually did say how great she was in it which goes along with the "I love working with you" comment that you want him to do. I guess I'm confused cause he has given that kind of public support you want him to give her but you don't want to recognize it?

I already acknowledged that he’s given her support. I’m specifically talking about pushing back against the hatred, as opposed to “I don’t see that in my mentions” or whatever. I don’t know what else you want me to say, because I still enjoy Grant as an actor and their dynamic as costars.

But lets be real here no matter what GG does he ain't changing anyone's mind. Him making a post might make you feel better about things but I doubt it'll actually making any difference to how the fandom treats CP. It just sucks that to you none of the previous support GG has given CP matters because to you the only thing that matters is that he give a public statement that would maybe have the fandom behave for no more than a week.

I already said that we will never know what would happen, and that it isn’t the only thing that matters. You’re the one twisting my words.

I don't get it tho wouldn't GG's actions having more of a long term effect on the show be more important and useful to CP? I certainly find it more important. I'd rather GG stick up for CP and WA behind the scenes and ensure their place of importance on the show then him making this grand public statement you want that might (and this is a big MIGHT) make the fandom play nice to CP for a short period.

I’m very happy with the support Grant has shown Candice behind the scenes, and I know she is happy with it as well. It’s not an either/or situation.

You're kind of sounding like Candice hasn't received support from Coworkers, producers, and shethority. Yes for one day they showed support to Grant but that doesn't erase the support they've given Candice in the past and will continue to do so in the future. It feels like you're mad people showed GG support, are they not allowed to do that?

I have already explained several times that Candice is not without support or friendship. My original statements were as they stand. Grant supports Candice and presumably others in private and in a way that satisfies her. Grant has not publicly spoken up about fandom racism or the misogyny directed against his costars. CNN and TIME etc. would need a lot more than a post from Candice or Anna to write up pieces meant to shame the racists.

Well, reading all of that was draining. I'm glad CP doesn't require the support of others to stand up for herself. I'm disappointed that she is so often there alone fending for herself (on social media). I don't know what goes on BTS and don't care. It's like having your racist grandma around a POC..."she'll call you n-word but she's old and you know I'm not like that." "Can you just tell her not to call me that?" "Huh, oh no, she won't change, just ignore her, but I like you so its ok."

I’m sorry it was difficult to read. :( And I definitely understand that feeling of helplessness.

(1)Wow. I’m really srry ppl keep misconstruing what you were saying about the GG incident. Some fans seem to be getting VERY sensitive about this situation on his behalf. You were literally just stating facts. He has never publicly defended CP from the negativity she receives from fandom. He’s not obligated to do it, but it would be nice if he did. She clearly has his support BTS but that has little to no effect on negative fandom behavior. (2)GG publicly defending CP wouldn’t automatically make the racist misogynistic haters like her, but them knowing they would potentially catch a block from him would definitely curb the negativity thrown her way, & anyone who doesn’t think so really underestimates GG’s power in this fandom.

Thank you, love. And yes, that’s pretty much all I’m saying.

What was the AV club incident ? And the dm grant sent ? :)

Grant accidentally retweeted an article praising Flash S1 that said Candice’s Iris was the weak link and she should then be recast. He picked one fan to follow and DM his apology that he hadn’t actually read the whole thing and that he loves his whole cast, then deleted his retweet. AJK kept his retweet up despite backlash, meanwhile.

I think the wording is what's throwing some Anons off. You're not saying GG has never publicly supported CP cause we all know he has The support he gave RIR being one example. I think what's being said here is people wished he "called out" that racist part of the fandom. Like you said it's not an either/or situation. GG has shown CP support both publicly and BTS but in this one area some wished he did more. Doesn't make GG a bad person nor does it remove the love and support between him and CP

You’re probably right. And yes to everything you said!

#the flash for ts #anonymous #tatiana's thoughts #more asks under the cut

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heartshapedcreaturefromcriptoon · 2 years

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Wow, Orn for someone who had like an entire bitch baby tantrum and was once pitching a complete, un-ironic “Did you just Assume My Gender?! TM” fit over me accidentally referring to you as “he” during that tagline that I was just too lazy to retype for you after I realized, I cannot believe that you just let your own anon just assume my gender just like that? Who says I’m a girl?! ;) 💋

So a bimbo passively making fun of blocked losers in the tags of her own blog that said blocked losers have no right to be looking at because they’re blocked is apparently a crime. Again.

I’m not reading your posts in their entirety cause you’re a blocked and boring scuztron, obviously.

No way, Lin Manuel Ellis Walker, why don’t you delete your socials and get a real job instead?

And why does that last lead in before the “read more” that I’ll never be clicking just make it sound like you want to rape me? Ew.

And once more with the misgendering too? How do agender incel bot assume I am “She”, huh? 👁 👄 👁

On second thought, how about Orn and Leeanne don’t put me personally under a microscope and all their anon cronies simply don’t report back to them on every single little thing that I do so that they can still look at my blog even though I blocked them both in April of 2020, hm?

“I feel secondhand embarrassment for that V*vzipop persons ‘show’. The Self Insert Mary Sue Special Snowflake called ‘Charlie’ is a hypocrite and some of Medrano’s concepts could be good if she didn’t execute it so poorly ... I don’t know why she’s so careless and can’t take criticism and she REALLY should be considering the reputation that she’s built for herself as a Known Racist Homophobe and Pedophile Dog Fucker that she continues to worsen with every tweet and passage of her countless ‘Apology Posts’ because it’s just sad.”

“Nevermind, V*vizieshit back with her bullshit again.”

No, you ableist grayface you, this is just how hot people treat blocked people who have no right to their respect anymore because they’ve been blocked for over two years.

They were my friends, they were both boys, and we weren’t dating, and one of them did sex work, you’re literally being misogynistic and whorephobic.

Yeah because they ghosted me and we’re not friends anymore so now I can vent however the fuck I want just like how I can be as mean as fuck as I want to people who complain about being blocked because they have no boundaries.

I’d ask how grayface could take something like “embellishing to fit in” as the worst insult ever but like... This is the logic of people who follow a sexless, loveless 30+ arsehole who gets mad at 12 year olds for blocking them and thinks that being called a virgin is acephobic. And once again, a person who thinks that “scrutinizing” and “picking apart” other people is completely normal behavior for a human.

Bitch if I don’t know your name how else am I supposed to make fun of you? You have every excuse to use any of the two names that I’ve provided on my profile and you still can’t do that because you’re still too busy trying to type out my whole entire url in order to dehumanize me and then complaining that I’m too big for you . Shut the fuck up.

Honey, this is the Hazbin Hotel fandom, the second my crippled arse got snapped at for saying I hated abled-bodied mentally ill people, calling someone “honey” and then got called “condescending” by an abled-bodied mentally ill virgin for showing that much patience and understanding in the same week, I knew that I was on no ones side but my own. And considering that I had to block you both (I’m considering both Leeanne and Orns anons a hivemind) three times over in order to get you to stop talking about me, I think the last question answers itself, now doesn’t it?

Did you really just screenshot a post that passively mentions your blocked url but not specifically Leeanne’s? I can’t even vague the given names of people I’ve already had blocked for two years on my own blog and on posts that will not show up in any fandom related tags and have nothing to do with fandom? But you can screenshot that and bring it back into a fandom context to be “discoursed” over? As the blocked person who has no right to be looking at my blog anymore because I went and set that boundary that you’ve both now more than violated? Use a website blocker if you haven’t already for Christs sake, SANSFUCKO!

.... It’s so interesting how you think that someone venting about you on a blog that blocked you in 2020, and venting specifically about how you haven’t left them alone since you first complained about them blocking you in 2020, and have instead of just respecting being blocked kept monitoring me every time I try to vent, about a situation that you were directly involved in and so I have to bring you up to provide people that context even if it’s in passing, is considered, “we’re literally talking”.

Now I’m convinced that you wish I could take your turbo virginity . I DON’T REMEMBER BECAUSE I DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU.

Now for the last time, I have absolutely no idea what triggered your little mental breakdown about me 9 months ago when you’ve been blocked since 2020 and we literally haven’t talked since the night I hit that button (because blocked people literally talking both around me and at me and trying to block evade me, is not the same as my right to vent about it ) but the fact that you have zero notes on your last screed that I’m not reading speaks volumes. Good thing I’ll never have to read another from ether of you ever again.

Gorgeous, gorgeous gimps don’t click “readmores” and use website blockers.

I am, a Gorgeous, gorgeous gimp. (✿◕‿◕✿)

#Hazbin Hotel #hazbin hypocritical #ornithia #petitprincess1 #Can't believe I'm finally done with these two chuckle chodes ....#And it only took me 84 years and a tripple fucking blocking method #wow.#Anyway download StayFree! ♥️

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hotsterfield · 7 years

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What happens in Vegas... - Tom Holland

Word count: 2448

Summery: You wake up after a night in Las Vegas, only to discover you married the one and only Tom Holland

A/N: I really hope this makes up for the weekend! I was inspired by Carrie Underwood’s “Last Name”. Please, let me know what you think! It would really mean a lot! If the interest is there, I might make it into a series, so just let me know if you want a part 2!

I know the ending is lacking a little, but i’m reallly tired, so i’ll just make it a cliffhanger!

You woke to the sun shining on your face through the window. Your throat was drier than Sahara, and your head was pounding. You fumbled for your phone, and when you looked at the time, you also saw the notifications on your phone.

Your twitter and Instagram had blown up overnight. Like really blown up. There had never been this amount of notifications before. How the hell did this happen?

“I don’t know what happened, but there’s a legal document stating that we’re married!” You heard a voice say outside the door. You frowned your brows. When you looked down at your hand, to find a slim golden ring, that you were sure hadn’t been there yesterday. What the shit happened last night?

“I did what?” His voice continued. You opened twitter, and quickly gave up on figuring something out based on your notifications. Instead you found a couple of news articles, and several screenshots of a tweet.

“Just married the love of my life, @y/t” and a photo of you in a white dress, kissing the guy who you assumed sent out the tweet. Did you seriously get married to some stranger last night? And apparently someone famous too! At least you got the wild Vegas trip you wanted, you just didn’t expect to get married.

With a sore body, you left the bed. You were only in your underwear, the white dress laying on the floor, and your other clothes were nowhere to be found. You didn’t really feel like wear a wedding dress, so you searched the rest of the floor, and found a white T-shirt, that you quickly put on.

As you walked out of the bedroom, you found the guy standing shirtless, leaning against the kitchen counter. He eyed you, as you walked to him. You spotted the matching ring on his finger, and sighed internally.

“Haz, I gotta go. I’ll call you later” He hung up the phone, and sent you an awkward smile. “Hi. Ehm. So. We got married last night. It was a mistake, uh. I was very drunk, and I’m guessing that you were as well. I think we might have slept together, but I’m not sure, and this is going to sound really bad, but I don’t remember your name”

“it’s y/n. I didn’t plan on getting married to a stranger, yet alone a famous one, so there’s that. What do we do? Can’t we just get an annulment? Or a divorce or something?” You asked. You knew your parents was going to be so mad if they found out that you got married in Vegas.

“About that. I kinda told the whole world we got married, and my agent thinks it would be bad for my reputation to get a divorce. It would apparently be, and I quote “a PR nightmare”, and I don’t want that” He explained, and you were a bit shocked.

“You want us to stay married? Are you serious?” You couldn’t believe it. Why would you want to do that? “Yes. Just for a couple of months! Maybe a year. It’s my agents idea, and I thinks it’s kinda stupid, but Marvel don’t really like the idea of damaging my reputation if we can help it. So yeah. Sorry” He apologized, and you could feel yourself getting angry. Who the hell was he to think, that he could decide that?

“I don’t want to be married to you! I don’t know you! Hell, I don’t even know my own last name right now. I’m not going to stay married to you, just to help your career! Who exactly do you think you are?” You were definitely angry now. He was about to say something, as your phone rang. Before he could speak, you answered the phone.

“Y/n! I just got off the phone with Tom Holland’s manager. He told me what happened. How you got married in Vegas, congratulations on that by the way” He told you. You prayed that he could help you out with the divorce part.

“Oh thank god! I don’t want to be married, to that arrogant prick. So please, tell you can get an annulment!” You watched the annoyed expression on Tom’s face, but you just rolled your eyes at him.

“Yeah, I don’t think we should do that. Netflix just offered you a role in a new series. Mostly because of the news of you getting married. It would be great for your career!” No-no-no-no-no! This could not be happening!

“Are you kidding me? Why on earth would I want to do that?!” you yelled into the phone. “Well, look at it as an opportunity! Mr. Holland is a very international name, and being with him, could mean you get your big break”

“And before you say anything, Ellen wants you on her show. Don’t turn it down. This might be your only chance” You manager continued, and you just wanted to smash something.

“You can tell Holland’s manager that I want a contract, if we’re staying married” You said before hanging up. You glared at your new husband. This couldn’t possibly end well.

“So I’m guessing we’re married. Look at it positively. You’ll get famous quite fast now” He smirked, and you just wanted to slap the smile of his face.

“Oh please. This is strictly business, okay? I don’t care if we slept together last night, but I won’t happen again. I’ll play the part in public, but other than that I don’t care about you” You said coldly. You didn’t like him. He seemed so arrogant. Who gave him the right to think he was so much better than you?

“That goes both ways. Maybe we should get to know each other, and maybe agree on what we’re telling the public. Do we pretend that we know everything about each other, and that we just kept our relationship hidden? Or do we play it off as a love at first sight thing?” His voice was, is possible, colder than yours.

“Love at first sight. Then I don’t have to spend that much time getting to know you. At least not right now” You glared at him, really wishing you weren’t wearing his shirt. It just seemed wrong, and if he claimed It back, you would feel very exposed.

“Great! If you just give me my shirt back, I’ll leave. I don’t really want to be here anyway” You took the shirt off, and almost instantly the annoyed look in his eyes disappeared. His eyes went down your body, up again, only to go down once more, and then stop at your bra.

“Hey jerk. My eyes are up here” You threw the shirt in his face, and you turned on your hell and walked towards the bedroom again. It gave you some satisfaction, knowing he was staring. At least in this way you were better than him, and you were going to let him know. It didn’t take long before you heard the door slam shut.

***

A couple of days had passed. You had been so busy with phone calls, from your family, your friends and even journalists too. You had gotten the script for your new role, so when you hadn’t been on the phone, you had been learning your lines. For short moments, you had happily forgotten you had to play the role of Tom Holland’s wife as well. You sat down on the couch, mentally preparing for the interview. This was your first real interview.

“So, we’re here with Tom Holland and y/n y/l/n! Or do you prefer Holland?” The host asked, and you quickly looked over at Tom, who was casually sitting with his arm around you. “Both actually. As an actor, I want to be my own person, so there I prefer just my own name. But in every other situation, I very much prefer Holland” You gave the biggest smile you could, and looked back at the host.

“That’s so sweet. So let’s get right to the question everyone’s been asking. How long have you been together?” The host leaned forward a little, and you looked at Tom as he started to answer.

“Well, Darling. How long have we been married?” He looked at you, and your faces was suddenly so close to each other, and you forced a giggle. “4 days” You said, keeping your eyes locked on his, until he looked back at the host. “We’ve known each other for 4 days” He said, still smiling wide.

“What?! This is unexpected news! So you guys didn’t know each other before getting married?” The host looked at you with wide eyes, and a slightly open mouth.

“Kind of. We ran into each other in the afternoon. I had just gotten the part in the new series, and I wanted to celebrate. Then I met Tom” You glanced at him again, trying to seem in love. “He spilled a glass of water on me, and when I looked into his eyes, I just couldn’t look away” You continued.

“I’ve never been the type, to just fall in love, but there was just this instant connection. Everything just felt so right. It was really spontaneous, we can both admit that” He laughed, and you decided to continue.

“There was just something so beautiful about the love. I think we both wanted to have it to ourselves, just for a minute. We didn’t tell our family, we didn’t tell our friends. We got a dress, a suit. Then we got married” You carefully bit your lip nervously. “You didn’t tell your family?” The host asked, a bit astonished.

“No. It was some very awkward phone calls the following day. I think the word stupid was used a couple of times” Tom answered. The interview went on with you talking about the wedding, and just a bit about your new projects.

***

You were already hating this day. The interview was hard getting through, but now you still had to go on a date with Tom. You had to be seen out in public, preferably kissing. As you stood in front of the mirror, applying your favourite lipstick, you thought about how you were going to survive tonight.

You looked at the time. He was going to be here in 2 minutes, so in your opinion he should’ve been here 3 minutes ago. You absolutely hated when people were late, but you wouldn’t be surprised if he was. He was rude, and arrogant, so he was probably also late.

There was a knock on the door, and you were actually a bit surprised. You went to open the door, to find him leaning against the doorframe, looking at his phone. Impatient could be added to list as well. He looked up at you, and once again his eyes scanned you, causing you to smirk.

“As annoying as you are, you are still hot. So as long as you keep your mouth shut, I might actually survive tonight” He smiled, and you rolled your eyes, as you walked out to lock the door to your apartment.

“You’re just so charming, I can’t believe I’m lucky enough to have married you” You said, you voice dripping with sarcasm. You followed him to the car, and he quickly started driving to the cinema. You were going to see one of your movies. Well, it wasn’t your movie, but you did have a minor role in it. It was a dancing movie, and you were a backup dancer. You were on screen a lot, but you didn’t really have any lines.

As you got to the cinema, you found you seats. Your fingers were intertwined. As soon as the lights dimmed, all physical contact stopped. You didn’t focus much on the movie, instead you looked around to see what everyone else thought. You had seen it a couple of times already, so there was nothing new in it for you.

You reached a scene with a little sexier dance. You weren’t wearing much clothes in the scene. You always looked away in this scene, not because you were embarrassed, but because it was very strange seeing yourself be so sexually powerful.

As you glanced at Tom, you saw him smiling, and he started biting his lips. He didn’t realize you were staring, which make you smirk. The scene was definitely turning him on, and you couldn’t help laughing to yourself. He was such a jerk, but apparently all it took was a dance. This could definitely be used as torture. It was going to be some long months, so you might as well find something to entertain yourself with.

After the movie ended, and you walked out of the cinema, there were a lot of paparazzi. This was it, now was the time for your grand kiss. He was holding your hand, leading you to the car. He opened the door for you, and before you could prepare, he put his lips on yours.

You wanted to push him away, but you also knew you had to make it seem real. You put your hands behind his neck, and deepened the kiss a bit. You tried to imagine him as some other actor, but none of your tries really worked. After a while he pulled back, and you got in the car. He got in on the other side, and started driving.

“some of the paparazzi followed us, so if it okay with you, I’ll come up with you. I’ll sleep on the couch. I’ll be gone, before you’re up tomorrow” He said awkwardly, as he looked at you.

“Sure, I don’t care” You shrugged your shoulders, and in silence you walked up to the apartment. “Do you think we should move in together? To make it more believable. I got 2 bedrooms, so it wouldn’t be a problem” He stated, and you were once again rolling your eyes.

“So do i. We could just as well move here” You answered, as you opened the door. “Maybe we should talk about this some other day. I’m tired, and I really don’t have the energy to argue with you” He sat on the couch, and you mentally cursed at him. The moron didn’t take off his shoes.

“Since you’re here, do mind unzipping my dress? And taking your shoes off” You smiled ironically, as you walked towards him, turning your back against him.

“Sure” He sighed, slowly unzipping your dress, letting it fall down. You could’ve done it yourself, but you liked teasing him. He could be as mean as he wanted, but he couldn’t take his eyes off your matching black bra and panties.

Part 2

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