#because bpd lmao

[tiredsadpeach]

Hahaha

[ed-recoverry]

Shoutout to people with trauma that is uncommon.

Shoutout to people with trauma that little people have experienced.

Shoutout to people who have had trauma from multiple sources, making their experience unique.

Shoutout to people with trauma who struggle to find anyone who went through what they went through.

[angelic-waffles]

I’m bored time for some

Random Toby Erin Rodgers Heacannons

Chaos bisexual

Around 19-20 (going based off og ref sheet/story age)

Bro is so trans masc. He gives off insane amounts of t-boy energy

Stealth about being trans. Or… as stealth as he can be.

Not exactly dating EJ but not not dating

He would be best friends with Nina

They would have friendship bracelets

He broke his very quickly

He doesn’t brush his hair for months on end, probably to the point of being able to find twigs and burs in his hair. Nasty.

If someone hands something to him, like a broken vase or a hair tie, he’ll just keep em.

He sees Slenderman as a father figure, but that also means he thinks he’s kind of lame.

BPD (I’m not elaborating on that)

He tried to do nice things for people, but sometimes he ends up being creepy or just confusing everyone else

Slenderman offered him a room in the Slenermansion but he kind of just sleeps on the couch or in the attic like the gremlin he is

Romps around the woods a lot

He will come back with random animal bites or rashes

He’s a very messy killer, not in a flashy way, but in a rough way, rushed almost. (Ex choppy cuts, lots of blood left behind, sloppy work overall, etc)

EJ thinks his messiness (in murder life, lack of showering) is horrifying.

Bro smells

Nina got him into shitty teen dramas like Riverdale

Probably has a lot of scars from general injuries and also probably sh

He’s not exactly proud of his scars, but he’s not exactly ashamed of them either. He doesn’t show them off but he doesn’t go out of his way to cover them up.

He steals stuff from everyone in the Slendermansion, not big or important stuff, it always little stuff.

He visits Lyra’s grave a lot, he leaves flowers and tells her about his day or about how the world has changed or about new movies. Every year for her birthday he leaves her favorite snacks and flowers outside her grave.

[cluster-b-culture-is]

cluster B culture is getting an email from quora about a thread called "cluster b unmasked" and already knowing it's going to be full of ableist crap and questioning why you got an account in the first place

.

[bonefall]

I recognize a lot of ADHD symptoms in Nightheart too.

The thinking everyone hates him is a big thing, taking rejection harder than it should be,

You're right... the Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria... I am Nightheart's therapist and I am slapping him with so many mental illnesses.

[peridyke]

I dont want a bpd diagnosis for many obvious reasons but I worry it'll be something that will naturally come up when I seek mental health treatment OTL like there r only so many answers to "my bipolar disorder is being treated and managed but I still have emotional instability/abandonment fears/trust issues/impulsive behavior that cause chaos and distress in my life". that being said I think doctors are actually pretty hesitant to diagnose it so maybe I'll be safe LOL

[graveyarrdshift]

the way everyone has been annoying me lately

[neurotoxicyuri]

My friends really wanted me to upload this angsty voxman drabble so… here! It's 668 words, and the starting/ending is intentionally ambiguous. 👍

Disclaimer: This is VERY very VERY heavily based on a scene from this fanfic. I thought it was interesting, and wanted to expand upon it further, but not enough to make an entire oneshot.

Second Disclaimer: This deals with alcohol misuse, and two mentally ill people sucking butt at relationships. The situation IS toxic, but this isn't meant to be an end all be all thing, they love each other immensely I promise.

Drabble is under the cut :)

_________________________________________________

Venomous had already finished two glasses of wine… but he craved more than just that. He craved something of a different flavor profile, specifically and Boxman had such a thing, right in his grubby little talon.

"Are you going to finish that…?" Venomous loomed over the other, very obviously looking down at his half drank glass of brandy.

"You've already had enough," Boxman rolled his eyes.

He hates when he gets like this, and it's always because of stupid Billiam and his stupid parties…

"Aw come on Boxy… don't be that way. I'm as sober as a judge," Venomous winked at the other and made a little clicking noise.

This… behavior truly frustrated Boxman… but, he loves Professor Venomous, and that includes every side of him. Even if that meant he had to deal with his provocative side. In fact, maybe if he turned this into a game it could get him out of this alcohol crazed muck, at least for now.

"You know… your charm isn't as effective as you think, P.V…!" Boxman cackled evilly, before he downed the rest of the drink.

He then gave Venomous a smug grin, "Now you can't have it!"

Venomous grumbled, clearly aggravated. Seems the 'game' didn't work well on him.

Boxman sweat slightly but he could still save things! He just needed to take a different approach… one more methodical.

"Oh don't be like that Professor… I'm HELPING you, the more you drink, the more I'll have to deal with you in the morning," Boxman did his best to force a smile.

Perhaps it was the alcohol or the fact Boxman was preforming unmediated surgery on his ego, but that little comment really got to him,

"Oh, so I'm something you have to deal with now?" Venomous narrowed his eyes at Boxman, his voice however, remained relatively calm, considering the accusatory nature of his words.

The smiling façade quickly faded, and the nervousness of the situation intensified. "I- P.V that's not what I meant! Y-You just get very… fussy when you get migraines, b-but Lord Boxman is MORE than happy to take of you…!"

"So I am?!" Venomous hissed, "You think you can doll up your contempt for me I won't notice? Hm? Is that it?" This time, Venomous raised his voice, and people were now very obviously staring.

Boxman hated to admit it, but Venomous really scared him sometimes, not in the exhilarating way. But in the way that makes him terrified to exist in his presence, terrified that he'll breathe the wrong way, say the wrong things, give the wrong look. Though, to Boxman, the worst part of it all was knowing that these were the times Venomous hurt the most. He knows that he only lashes out because he's afraid; but that doesn't make Boxman any less fearful.

In spite of… everything, Boxman was willing to try and be a source of comfort. He didn't know what's wrong with P.V to get him in these states, but he wanted to be there for him to help push through things.

He placed his fleshy hand on Venomous’ arm, "P-Professor… I don't have contempt for you, I want you to stop drinking because I care about you…! Maybe I went about it the wrong way at first, b-but… I thought you would like it more if I acted joyful…"

Venomous flicked Boxman's hand off of him after he finished speaking, and just as angry before, he remarked.

"I'm sick of your bullshit, Boxman."

Swearing. Something which the two of them avoid… something which Venomous just did. Boxman has a very high tolerance for Professor Venomous’ behavior, but this is so… INEXCUSABLE! He's just TRYING to be mean.

"You… you…" He growls. "WE ARE NOT SPEAKING FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT!"

"Fine by me," Venomous sneers.

Both headed in the opposite direction of one other, both pretended not to care. But both felt emotionally distraught at the feeling of not having the approval of one another.

[eclaire-went-bam]

helppp first i catch my mom watching ableist "narc abuse" videos and now i see her watching ableist fear mongering bpd videos like is she targetting me ....

[kenobster]

It's interesting to learn about identity disturbance with BPD because it really starts to explain everything. If your entire sense of self is held up by external sources (aka your friends! your environment!), then so many other things start to make sense. Like, for example, if your opinion on a character or a movie doesn't match your friend's opinion, then that's two parts of your identity contradicting each other!!! It's literally going to cause you cognitive dissonance! No wonder it's so distressing to me when that happens!!! 😖

Or another example!!! The clinginess omg. You realize it's because you practically have NO boundaries whatsoever. You've practically been begging your friends to inhabit your fucking body lmao. And obviously people can't do that (for one, physics.... but for another, people got their own bodies to deal with lol). So when they inevitably aren't around, it's like the driver of the vehicle you're a passenger in just passed out unexpectedly. No wonder you're trying everything you can to get their attention lmao — they gotta wake up and drive!!!! 😱

It's also really interesting when you start to try to develop your sense of self (in DBT, it seems to be worded as "self respect"? I could be wrong though). Like, you've spent most of your life not knowing who you are or what you want/need. And the SECOND you find that one little decision you can make for yourself? That one little kernel that's you and nobody else? Well, suddenly it's like you've got the crown jewel (XD) in your hands and the world seems to transform into this armada of invaders trying to take it from you. Like bruh. Step away. This is ME i've got here, and I'm not letting her go without a fight lmao. (Narrator voice: but no one is actually fighting her...... lol)

Anyway I feel bad for ppl who learn all this in less-than-ideal circumstances because like... I think a lot of people would probably get confused/upset/angry at the change in behavior (like someone is going from doormat people-pleaser to some sort of Napolean Boneapart world-conquerer type lol). So damn, I'm super grateful because I've been getting needlessly feisty about wanting some autonomy lately, and pretty much everyone I know has been super supportive and encouraging about it???? And that's really neat. 🥰 -feels very loved-

Anyway this has been a Ramble sorry. I just feel really good about things I've decided to do to improve myself lately, and I wanted to share lmao. I still haven't started writing as much as I had hoped I would, but like.... I'm starting to feel like ME, and I'm really happy about it. :)

[demitheshine]

✨Fuck Valentine's Day.

✨That's it that's the post

[smowyashe]

Obsession like Washing Machine Heart by Mitski but it's completely platonic

Ebonycore

[im-goin-mad]

in case you were wondering what i saw in him: i just found out bpd can cause hallucinations. so yeah.

[0-k-4]

crazy times. everyone is depressed. is it because of school, is it because of winter, is it because of Life. who knows. mystère et boule de gomme.

[cluster-b-culture-is]

Cluster B culture is wanting to be physically attacked for the rush. (sorry if this is way too weird)

.

[sunkern-plus]

also i'm sick of people treating emotional eating as something that makes you pathetic

it's LITERALLY consensus that it's caused by poor emotional regulation (which is caused by trauma or disability most of the time) and issues related to trauma and it's often genetic (purely anecdotal but i literally come from an entire line of emotional eaters)

and also from the autistic and adhd community i feel like the only autistic/adhd comorbid person who COMPULSIVELY and EMOTIONALLY eats and everyone on tumblr seems to like. not do that. even though compulsive and emotional eating is more often associated with more severe presentations of adhd/more common in afaik low-middle and middle support autism presentations and autism that's frequently comorbid with intellectual disability so i guess you people don't wanna be like Those Autistics, which, somehow includes me!