#and buddy that's only the stuff I've written down

[randomeggart]

Oh well here my question, I liked your AU and I was wondering, where did you get the inspiration to do it? Because honestly I love the designs

Oh hello! I think it started with that drawing of hat and bow kid as slugs, and while drawing it my mind just started spiraling about the other characters and what they might be. I've always been a big fan of nautical stuff and I absolutely love sea creatures, so au time it was :D

It's actually my first time making an au or focusing on a single fandom this long, so I'm having a lot of fun with it! heehoo fishies :)) (ps I love your art, your artstyle and colors are awesome)

[yxngbxkkie]

baby fever (b.c)

this man needs to chill because i can only take so much 😭 ngl, this is probably the most i've written in a while, and i'm really glad to provide some cute fics for you guys 🩷 i hope you like it!

feedback is greatly appreciated 🥰

“Do you have everything?” Chan asks you while unloading the rental car.

You take a peek into the back seat of the car, making sure both of you had everything. “I don't see anything,” you reassure him.

Chan walks towards your mother's house, presents stacked in his hands. You gently rub his back as you walk up the steps. You knock a couple of times before opening the door, announcing your presence.

“My baby's home!” Your mother's voice reaches your ears, causing you to grin ear to ear.

You give her a quick hug before making sure Chan gets into the house okay. You shut the front door behind him and rest a hand on his forearm.

“Do you need help with anything?” You ask him, moving to grab a couple of the gifts.

“I got it, baby,” he reassures you with a head shake. He leans down to press a quick kiss on your lips before walking over towards the Christmas tree.

You giggle to yourself, gently biting your lip after he walks away. Your mother nudges your arm, snapping you from your thoughts. You lift your head to look at her, seeing a smirk on her lips.

“When's the wedding?” She jokes with you.

A groan leaves your lips as you start to feel embarrassed. “Not for a little while,” you tell her with a shy laugh. Your gaze finds Chan, silently watching him distribute the presents. “I don't even know if he wants to marry me.”

She lets out a scoff, crossing her arms over her chest. “Honey, that boy is infatuated with you. He'd be crazy not to marry you.”

“We'll see where life takes us,” you mention, the smile on your lips growing when you meet your boyfriend's eyes.

“I want to be the first one to know if he does propose,” your mother whispers into your ear as she walks by, joining everyone in the kitchen.

You playfully roll your eyes, keeping yourself from blushing. Chan gives the older woman a quick hug as she walks by before making his way back to you.

“What were you two chuckling about?” He asks, tapping his fingertip on the tip of your nose.

“Just girl stuff,” you vaguely lie, leaning on your toes to kiss his lips. Chan hums into the kiss, his hands grabbing a hold of yours.

He mumbles a quick, "I love you," against your lips, planting one more kiss before fully pulling away. “Why don't we go say hi to everyone,” Chan mentions, squeezing your hands in his.

You nod your head and lead him into your kitchen. You greet the rest of your family, giving them hugs and kisses. You make grabbing hands at the toddler in your big sister's arms.

“Hi, baby boy,” you squeal, holding the one and half year old baby. He smiles at you, bringing his tiny hand to your cheek. “You're getting so big!”

You rest the baby on your hip, lightly bouncing him in your arms. Ji-ho squeals and kicks his little legs into your side. You release a little cry and point at the little man.

“Watch your feet, mister! You're gonna hurt Auntie,” you chuckle, adjusting his legs so they're sitting comfortably.

“He loves to kick,” your sister mentions, walking over to her son. “I forgot to tell you.”

You playfully scoff as she pinches the boy's cheeks. “That would've been some crucial information, Joon,” you tell her with a smile.

Chan moves to stand behind you, and you can hear him coo at Ji-ho. You glance over your shoulder, watching him smile at your nephew. His dimples are present, and you can feel your heart fluttering in your chest.

“Do you want to hold him?” You ask him, turning to face him.

Your boyfriend's gaze moves from you to your older sister. “Would that be okay?” He asks her politely.

“Of course!”

Chan takes the baby from you, lifting him higher for a quick second before resting him on his hip. “Hi, buddy,” he whispers in his baby voice, tickling his stomach.

Ji-ho squeals again, more giggles coming from the baby's lips. He rests his head on Chan's shoulder, his tiny hands gripping his shirt. Your heart feels like it's swelling even larger as you witness your boyfriend interacting with him.

You pull your phone out and snap a couple of photos. He'd make such a great dad… You think to yourself as Chan starts walking around the kitchen with Ji-ho.

Your mother pats your back gently, snapping you from your thoughts. She gives you a knowing smile before nodding her head towards Chan.

“Baby,” you call out to him, capturing his attention. You motion your head towards the hallway. Your sister takes Ji-ho from him as you excuse the two of you.

Chan slips his arms around your waist as you walk down the hallway. You rest your hands on top of his, and you feel like your heart's going to fly out of your chest.

“Everything okay?” He whispers into your ear while stepping into your childhood bedroom.

You nod your head and gently shut the door. His eyes dance between you and the bedroom door. You take a couple of steps towards the taller man, resting your hands on his cheeks.

“Have I told you how much I love you?” You ask in a whisper, gently stroking his cheek.

“Of course,” he whispers back to you, placing his hands on your hips. “What's this ab-”

You cut him off by leaning on your toes, kissing his lips. A moan leaves his lips while his grip on you tightens. One of your arms wraps around his neck as you deepen the kiss.

Chan pulls away from you abruptly, and you attempt to chase his lips, not having enough. “Baby, baby,” he mumbles, moving his hands to your arms. “What's gotten into you?”

You feel embarrassed at how needy you are, but seeing him with a baby has made you a little feral. He gently rubs your arms as you find yourself looking at the carpet.

“I might have baby fever,” you whisper loud enough for him to hear.

He giggles and bends down a little to look in your eyes. “Oh yeah?” He smiles at you, bringing one of his hands to your cheek.

You can feel your cheeks begin to blush, and you push him playfully. “You know what? I hate you,” you laugh, moving past him to lay on your bed.

Chan laughs with you and lays down beside you. “I love you too, baby,” he grins ear to ear before kissing your forehead. He peppers more kisses all over your face. “So, you want a baby?”

A groan leaves your lips after hearing his question. “Not right now, obviously,” you tell him, finding his hand before lacing your fingers together. “But, in the future, I'd like to have a family with you.”

His lips find yours and he kisses you passionately. Your free hand grips the sweater he's wearing, feeling your heart pounding in your chest.

Chan pulls away and rests his forehead on yours. “I would love to have a family with you, baby.”

~

tagging: @strawboorybunny @reddesert-healourblues @spacegirlstuff @moon0fthenight @foxinnie8 @like-a-diamondinthesky @prettymiye0n

[babyjakes]

〈 disclaimer: this blog posts content not suitable for individuals under the age of 18. minors are strictly prohibited from viewing, sharing, or interacting with this blog. for more information on this blog's commitment to protecting minors, read our full statement here. 〉

event | kinkmas 2023

prompts | exhibitionism + piercing

pairing | soft!daddy!lloyd hansen x little!reader, feat. lloyd's friends: andy barber, ari levinson, ransom drysdale, steve rogers

warnings | ddlg dynamics (lloyd is a soft sweet daddy.) months of no touch/orgasms. clit hood piercing (+ me not knowing much about them.) fivesome with a sixth watching; exhibitionism. fingering (vaginal + anal.) nipple play. clit focus + rubbing. overstimulation. asking permission to come + she comes hard. so much praise and encouragement. probably some light mocking/humiliation. sooo many petnames. aftercare!! :) brief alcohol mention

word count | 1,580

an | sorry for the weird formatting? tumblr wouldn't allow me to use the bulleted list bc of too many characters i think- but ahhh omg the very last kinkmas piece 🥺 this event has been so much fun i hope you've all enjoyed the stuff i've written!! make sure to check out the event masterlist for anything you might've missed and thanks so much for reading along with me this month!! happy holidays and merry christmas to all of you sweet friends 😌💕

thinking about daddy!lloyd piercing your clit hood and then inviting all his friends over to show you off 🫠 piercings do take time to heal so maybe he's away on a trip for a few months after it happens, and when he returns home he has his buddies over to come play with you 😌 you were touch-free for that time period, so by the time the big night comes you're more than ready for some attention down there

lloyd dresses you up in a pretty new dress he got while out on his trip, short with lots of cleavage showing as always. and panties are skipped entirely; they'd just get in the way. he has you wait in your room as he brings his guests in, getting everyone settled in the fancy lounge with drinks and snacks. then he sends one of his servants to bring you down from where you're patiently waiting upstairs

andy, ari, ransom, and steve all coo and fawn adoringly as soon as you appear. you recognize every face in the group quite well; these are your daddy's closest and most trusted friends, the only men he would ever allow near you besides himself. this isn't the first time they've come over to play under lloyd's supervision. while these sessions can be overwhelming with so many players involved, things never get out of hand, as each of your daddy's friends treat you with just as much respect and care as he would, himself

"there's the pretty girl. we've missed you, sweetheart," ari's cooing from his seat on one of the armchairs

"that's a cute little dress, sunshine. s'it new?" ransom winks at you as he stands near your daddy's chair, finishing a glass of scotch

"come on over, doll. your daddy said you have something very special to show us," steve says gently, patting the space on the long leather couch between him and andy

the lawyer nods at the blonde man's words, adding, "come here, honey. got a nice spot saved just for you"

lloyd's on the other couch, across from steve and andy. "go on, princess. they've all been waiting so patiently to see," he encourages you

you find your way over, sitting down obediently between the two broad men. ari comes and sits on the edge of the coffee table in front of you. ransom makes his way behind the couch, gently placing his hands on your shoulders and easing you back a bit

"you wanna show us, angel?" ari asks gently as he leans in a bit, helping the men on either side of you bring your legs up to bend at the knee, your stocking-covered feet falling to either side of you. when you give a timid nod, the skirt of your dress is lifted up to expose your most intimate parts to the eager men surrounding you. a soft gasp is shared as they all lay eyes on your leaking cunt, swollen and sensitive from months of neglect

"aww, little one," steve's murmuring sympathetically at the sight of your arousal

"look at that ring- so pretty, sweet girl," andy marvels at the sight of the gold loop that now runs right through the fleshy hood covering your needy little nub

"your daddy told us it's a very special ring," ari hums steadily as he reaches out and gently spreads your messy folds apart, all of the men watching as your little hole twitches. "it goes right through the hood of your sweet little clit, doesn't it baby?"

"and that means," ransom chimes in from behind as he reaches down into your low-cut top, gently collecting your tits in his hands and squeezing at them, "that every time it moves, it rubs right up against your poor little button. isn't that right, pretty girl?"

you manage to give a shaky nod, a small whimper rising in your throat as the men all close in to finally start giving you the relief you so desperately need. there's no fumbling or hesitation, each of them settling in on their own task to contribute to the system of pleasure

steve brings two huge fingers to line up right at your opening, swirling the tips around briefly in your pool of slick before steadily pushing in. "okay sweetheart, let's get this pretty little pussy nice and filled up"

ransom continues up at your chest, his fingers rubbing and pinching at your pebbled nipples. "there you go, doll face. just relax," he's encouraging as your back arches lightly, making you sink a bit down further into the couch

andy drags some of your plentiful wetness down, carefully teasing the tip of a single digit over your puckered rosebud. he chuckles when you let out a startled whine, his voice low and soothing in tone as he croons, "easy, baby. i'll be gentle, i promise"

and ari seems maybe the most pleased of them all as he begins tapping and tugging gently at the small gold ring settled so perfectly against your now hardened clit. the feeling of the metal bumping and moving against your throbbing button is already more than enough to make you squirm, ari's patient gaze settled on you as he murmurs, "look at that, so responsive, just like always. does that feel good, baby doll? here, i wonder if we just-"

the others continue masturbating you in their various ways as the man before you pulls up on the ring, forcing the hood of your clit back to reveal your swollen little nub. "there it is," ari breathes happily as he steals some of your slick, bringing his thumb up to begin swiping repeatedly over your exposed bundle of nerves as his other hand keeps its hood retracted with the ring

"oh-... o-oh..." you're immediately stumbling over your words, your breaths shuddering as your clit burns brutally beneath ari's quickening pace

"think someone likes that," steve's chuckling beside you as he stretches you out on his fingers, curling them upward to stroke against your weak spot

andy's gathered more of your arousal to coat his pointer finger as he gently begins easing it up into your tight little ass, his eyes shining with pride as you weakly take the intrusion, "yeah? you like that, baby girl? that's it, honey. you're being so good for us"

"let's see if we can make this pretty little girl come for us," ari speaks to the others as your tummy quivers, your little legs shaking on either side of you as the stimulation becomes more and more overwhelming. but as soon as your knees begin trying to close, steve and andy are holding them open, giving you no choice but to lay there against the hot leather and let the men bring you to orgasm

"remember to ask permission, baby," ransom's reminding you as his head leans down next to your ear. the hands all over your body continue, but everyone glances over in lloyd's general direction as he sits just across the coffee table on the opposite couch, watching intently with a hand placed at his chin. one of his big rules for shared play time is that you always get his permission to come

"p-please daddy," your little voice comes out begging as both your holes are fucked forcefully now with large, slippery fingers, your nipples being rolled and rubbed as your clit is flicked in rapid succession. "please, c-can i-... can i-i come?"

lloyd scoots forward a bit, giving a simple nod as he lowers his hand from his face. "go ahead, princess. being so good for daddy's friends, you can come. you've earned it, baby"

as soon as you're allowed, you let go, your orgasm washing over you with impressive force. being the first climax you've had in months, it's quite the sight to be seen

all the praise coming from the men surrounding you blurs together as your holes contract around the fingers still pumping inside you: "oh- there it is" "good, very good, little one" "look at that, coming so hard for us" "keep going, baby. keep coming, that's it" "poor little girl, needed it so bad, huh?" "so cute when she comes, isn't she? such a precious girl"

when the waves of pleasure are finally dying down, their cheers turn to softer, soothing words as their hands still against you: "did so good for us, pretty girl. we're so proud of you" "that feel good, angel? seemed like a pretty big one" "you're okay, sweetheart. here, let's get your daddy over here" “no little one, don’t move. we’ll take care of the mess; you just hang tight”

everything feels like you’re experiencing it through a haze as lloyd comes over with the supplies needed for aftercare. you’re cleaned up and put in a comfy pair of fresh panties, your dress being repositioned on you to cover you up. someone wraps you in a blanket, and soon you’re safe and content in your daddy’s arms

the men all spend the rest of the night doting on you, helping keep you in a tiny headspace where you feel so safe and cared for. you get all the snuggles, tummy rubs, hair strokes, nose and cheek kisses, and gentle loving words you could ever want from each of your daddy’s wonderful friends

wow holy cow i got carried away with this 😮‍💨 all of them at once is so much but like,, , the i need that kind of so much 😔🙏

[billthedrake]

Note: This is a hypnosis story co-written with @josmith1718

THE PROTOCOL (CHAPTER TWO)

The next day, Dad and I had a lazy Saturday. I usually woke up early, but I slept like a log especially after dad's insatiable appetite after being under. I woke up and saw I was in bed alone. I stretched and made my way downstairs. I was wearing only boxer briefs when I came to the kitchen and saw dad making a whole breakfast spread, "Morning, bud. Can I get you anything to drink?"

"Morning dad, what time did you wake up?"

"I've been up for a while. Woke up so refreshed." He smiled and gave me a kiss before asking me again, "Drink?"

"Uh, I'll have some orange juice."

"Okay bud, sit down, I'll get it for you."

Dad was very happy this morning. He was wearing an old baseball tee and shorts that were being eaten by his ass. I was spent from last night but seeing the sex god in this kitchen making me breakfast was giving me a second wind.

"Here you go son. What do you say we have a nice cookout today? Weather should be good; we can put some steaks on the grill and have some beers."

"Sure dad, but you are in the sun all day, I thought you would want to spend some time in the A/C."

"Well, we could do something else if you want." He smirked as he saw my hardon.

I reached down and tugged at my loose shorts, playfully showing off my endowment to Dad, but also pinching the base a little bit to tame the beast.

"It'll probably be better if I wait." I said.

"Waiting isn't your strong suit, buddy," Dad smirked.

"Nah it isn't," I admitted. I was about to ask whose fault that was but I reflected at how great my father was. I was the luckiest guy in the world. "So... cookout?" I asked. I knew if we stayed in that kitchen, I'd be initiating sex. And last Saturday we didn't leave the house till after noon...

Dad went to get dressed to run his errands to the grocery store. I offered to hit the hardware store for charcoal and some other stuff we needed. Surprisingly, bagged ice is cheaper there, too, so Dad asked me to get a bag or two so we could set up the cooler for the beer.

I was in and out of the big box store pretty quick. I don't know if it was the hypnosis, but I was in a weird mood that morning. Almost giddy with excitement of seeing if Dad was gonna put out for me later, really put out. Maybe I had some misgivings, too. I mean, Dad had brought up the hypnosis route and found the Company, but maybe I was too excited by the idea of reprogramming my loving father.

As I tossed the stuff in the back seat and as I started the car, I wondered about maybe my approach with fucking Dad was wrong. Maybe it wasn't just mental. Hypnosis was one thing, but he would need to get used to having something in his hole.

I took a little detour home, to where one of the adult sex stores was. Hopefully the ice wouldn't melt too much. I'd only been to this store a couple of times, the first time when I turned 18 and a buddy dared me to go as some sort of stupid high school ritual. The other was soon after that, when I heard a rumor you could get a no-strings blowjob in one of the booths. I went in, but chickened out.

Now, I went in and made a beeline for the vibrators and butt plugs. I was not a small fry and Dad would need some practice, even if he was under when I used the toys on him.

I found a beginner sized dildo and picked up an enema bag. I looked for a smaller sized butt plug. Even the smallest looked like it might be a challenge for a newbie at bottoming, but I picked it up too. With a naughty thought I eyed one of the bigger plugs. It would take a hell of a lot of hypnosis to get my tight virgin father to fit that inside him. But the idea turned me on like mad so I bought it too.

I made my purchases and headed back home. Dad was already putting away the groceries in the kitchen, as I went upstairs with my toys and hid them until I needed them.

I'd barely stashed them in the back of my sweaters in the closet when Dad walked into our bedroom. "I'm gonna hit the gym, Kyle," he said, peeling off that baseball shirt. God, here comes my hardon again. But Dad seemed oblivious to that as he went to root through his drawer for his workout gear. "I'll fire up the grill when I get back, OK?"

"Yeah, Dad," I said.

He grabbed his stuff and then paused to look at me. Maybe he wasn't so oblivious to my excitement after all. With a grin he sauntered over and stepped up to me, leaning forward to kiss me gently. It was hot, a lot of soft tongue as Dad and I made out in our bedroom.

His free hand was on my flank, feeling up my muscle beneath my T-shirt. "Nice, son," he grinned. "I can tell you've been hitting the gym too, buddy," he smirked. I worked out during my lunch hour at a corporate gym near my office. I usually enjoyed taking Saturday off.

"Gotta keep up with my old man," I smirked back. I reached down to undo my shorts, but Dad stopped me.

"Save it, buddy... it'll be worth your while, I promise." With that, dad pulled my shorts up and gave me a parting kiss, “Try to keep your hand away from that dick.” He said as he left the room. I did not know it was possible but I was even harder at that comment.

***

The food smelled great as dad sat next to me to let the meat cook on the grill. He had continued to wear the same workout clothes except for the sweaty shirt. He was showing off a good pump, I'd say, his perky nipples saluted me and his calves looked exceptionally delectable. If I was not so hungry, I probably would have tackled him as soon as he walked through the door.

"So how do you feel about the hypnosis, son?" Dad asked as he took a sip of his beer and sat next to me.

"I was hesitant at first but if it makes you happy, Dad, I'm game but, how about you? Did you feel different when you were under?" I asked. I kept putting the old man under and never even thought of asking if it was enjoyable.

"Not just me, son. Remember what you told me, if we're both not into it, we don't have to do it." He held his gaze on mine, "But I will be honest, if it'll help us... me... I want it."

I nodded and smiled at him. He reached and patted my thigh before answering the second half of my question.

"And to answer your question, I didn't feel anything. It felt like I fell asleep and when I ‘woke up' I felt refreshed. I hope it can help me to be able to give you what you want but if not, it's helping me to feel relaxed at least."

"Did you remember what you did when the man from the Company put you under?"

"No. We were talking and then he was telling me we were done. Whatever I did, I don't think it was embarrassing but I did feel good afterwards."

We ate, we tanned, and we had some more beers. It was a nice relaxed way to spend the weekend. Dad worked hard and in my own white collar way, I worked hard too. It was nice to lie in the backyard and think about nothing.

I had my eyes closed and tried to keep everything out of my mind. I just heard the sizzling of the grill, dad whistling, the light chirping of the birds. Suddenly, I began to think about the hypnosis and started throwing wood. It was a hot idea, having my dad do anything I wanted, bend over, and let me rim him or ask me to fuck him as matter-of-factly as he did when providing me with his oral services. I was maybe hoping it was a one session kind of deal and then Dad would be lifting his legs for me. Yet, he'd put off sex, even more than normal. I wondered if he needed more reinforcement or if I needed to expedite the process.

The more I thought about it, the more I decided I'd put him under again and take dad back to the white hallway. As soon as we went inside, I was determined I'd be putting him under again. I wanted to get in his ass but didn't want to do it prematurely. As I went through the motions of helping him clean and put away things, I was formulating a script in my mind of what I was going to say and do. I had to think of the Protocol the Company provided, and how reinforcement could help tap into Dad's inner psyche.

"That was great." Dad said as we were putting away the last of the leftovers in containers. I admired his hairy frame now that he had gotten a tan on his chest and back. A shame he didn't go shirtless at work, I'm sure he'd get more contracts showing his body off and he'd had an overall tan.

"You are the grill master, dad."

"You flatter me buddy." Dad rubbed my shoulder, as he stepped by me. I watched him walk down the hall, and even as he was out of my sight, the sound of the door closing suggested to me he was taking a piss.

It seemed the perfect chance to catch him unaware. That approach seemed to work the first time and if he was easily put under then, it should be no issue now. I put the food away as quickly as I could and then I walked down the hall to wait outside the bathroom for him to come out. I heard the flushing of the toilet followed by the start of dad washing his hands and whistling as he cleaned up.

"Hey buddy... you gotta go...?" Dad began as he opened the door but at the sound of me saying “power down” he stopped mid-sentence. He went from animated to emotionless in one swoop. His face was drained of emotion, his arms fell to his sides, and he looked past me, as though there was a point behind me, he needed to concentrate on.

"How are you feeling?" I asked.

"Relaxed..." Was dad's monotone response.

"Remember what I told you about Kyle?"

Dad nodded and said "Yes..."

"Repeat to me what you learned about Kyle and what you need to do."

"Kyle does the fucking, to show him I love him, I have to let go and give him what he wants..." He responded. Once again, I smiled, "What does he want?"

"To fuck me." Dad responded, determined. As he finished his thought, I saw how he began to breathe a bit faster, and his cock began to swell up. The shorts he was wearing were flimsy and nothing hid what was happening down there.

"That's right. When this finally happens, you will give him happiness and he, in turn, will bring you pleasure. Your son will be happy, and you want to make your son happy right?"

"That's all I want, my boy to be happy." He was more determined with his response.

"Extend your hands and hold on to me, we are going back to the door in the white hallway." He extended his hands and I reached with mine. I held on, feeling the dampness on his skin.

"Walk with me as I count to five. Once I reach five, we'll be at the door."

"One... we're walking down the corridor," I slowly walked us to the bedroom where I had stashed the toys I would be needing, "Two... you are feeling relaxed and calm knowing your son will never cause you pain or hurt you," I passed a couple of framed pictures of us at a camping trip and from both of my graduations, "Three... you are closer to the door, remembering what you saw there, getting you excited..." At the threshold of the bedroom, I said, "Four... the door is at arm's reach, you want to open the door, right?"

"Yes, I want to open the door." Dad responded a bit breathlessly.

"Good... five, reach for the doorknob and open the door. What do you see?" I let go of his hand momentarily and saw him reach to the imaginary door to open it.

"I'm in bed with my boy... He is on top of me, getting ready to fuck me... My son looks happy..." Dad began to smile warmly as he saw the scene.

"He is very happy, but you can't bottom for him yet, why?" I caressed his hand.

"Men don't get fucked." Again, determined. I knew we would need to work on this now if we were going to get anywhere.

"Look at yourself, Brian. You are a man. Look at your muscles, your hairy torso, strong legs, are you not a man?"

"Yes, I'm a man."

"Keep looking at the scene in front of you, is your son inside you, fucking you, making you feel good?"

"God... yes, he is fucking me, making me feel pleasure." He tightened his grip on my hand and his breathing increased. He wanted to be able to give his boy this, the pleasure that he would experience was secondary at this point. All he wanted was to be a good daddy and take care of his boy's needs. He wanted what he saw.

"And as he is doing this... are you changing at all?" I asked, looking at dad's face to see if there was any resistance to what I was inferring.

Dad looked confused at this. I continued to caress his hand and pushed on, "Did you become less of a man?"

Again, confusion, his brow creased as he thought of it. I answered for him, "No you didn't. Look, Kyle is still fucking you, bringing you pleasure. He is fucking a man, not a woman. Say it, Kyle fucks men."

"Kyle fucks men..."

"Again, with conviction."

"Kyle fucks men." I moved his hand to my cock, and I moved my free hand to his, "Hold Kyle's cock and ask him who he fucks."

Dad looked at me as though trying to look through a fog and asked, "Who do you fuck?", his hand lightly gripping my cock like he did when he was ready to give me a handjob. I fished out his cock and began to match his grip and stroking motions as I answered.

"I fuck men, dad, not women, just men. Hairy, muscular, masculine men. Men that work construction, that have a tan from being in the sun working hard, muscles from moving heavy things all day." I said this as I stroked him.

"God, son..." he whispered to himself.

"Brian, who is getting fucked on the bed?" I asked, getting a thrill calling him by his name.

"I am..."

"Are you a man?"

"Yes..."

"So, say it, I'm a man that gets fucked."

Dad's voice was direct and unwavering. A pure expression of his unconscious. "Men don't get fucked."

Jesus Christ. Back to square one.

I let go of his dick and thought for a second. What would the Protocol suggest? I don't even remember where the idea came from, but I remembered something about triangulation. Shifting the focus. "Brian.... Listen carefully to my voice.”

Dad looked at me with unwavering concentration.

"You are past the white door now... where only my voice matters."

"Your voice."

I felt his grip on my cock get tighter, now playing with it, then stroking it. Fuck, this felt good.

"When you are awake, Brian, and you worry about not being a man, you can listen to my voice and it'll relax you, helping you let go for your son."

I spread my legs and let Dad openly stroke me. The more I talked the more eagerly he tugged at my dick. "You know what that voice will be telling you?"

He shook his head no. Like an eager student studying for a test. Aww God, his hand felt amazing. This man, even under, only had one mission and it was to bring me pleasure. I had to bite my lip and take a deep breath before I continued because I didn't want to shoot yet, I needed to see this through.

"That voice will be telling you that anytime you don't feel like a man, to think instead about Kyle. Your son—" God, Dad's hand was driving me crazy. I wasn't normally a hand job guy, but this head fuck was messing with mine in its own way. "—and how manly he is." I finished my train of thought in a raspy voice.

"Yes, Kyle is a man." Dad responded determined, proud even. The same way he would when bragging to his buddies about me for something.

"Good," I said. "And because Kyle is a man, you do not have to worry about yourself. Just listen to that voice...Dad." My breath was getting shorter. I reached out and began stroking Dad's cock as he did mine.

"What does that voice say, Dad?" I stopped calling him by his name and reverted back to ‘Dad.' I wanted him badly and calling him Brian, while naughty at first, was not as personable as ‘Dad.' The man raised me, taught me so much. Now it was my turn to return the favor, as it were, and teach him new things. Things that would bring him pleasure.

"That voice is saying Kyle is a man." He was sweating a bit, his nipples were perky and his cock throbbed in my hand.

"What do men do?"

"Men fuck.”

"What is going to help you be able to be your son's bottom daddy?” I was stroking dad hard, and he was too, we were both lost in the moment. I don't even know when it was the last time, I called dad ‘daddy' but I had just said it and if I was not in the edge of shooting, I was when dad responded.

"Listen to the voice... allow Kyle to make me his bottom daddy." The combination of seeing dad zonked out, his words and his hand on my cock, I shot my load, some of it landing on his hand and floor. Dad, in turn, shot all over my hand. Like father like son, both shooting our loads at the idea that I needed to fuck him, and he was going to allow me to.

We were both breathing hard and as we both caught our breath, I looked at dad and with some clarity instructed him to close the door. Dad used his free hand and simulated closing the imaginary door. I continued, "You are a man that gets fucked, keep that in mind. You still can't bottom for Kyle, but you want to, desperately. You want to get pleasure, you want to make Kyle happy, but you need to prepare for it. You will ask Kyle to help you. It'll be scary but put your trust in your son, he loves you, he is here for you, he is going to make sure everything you do for him, is returned with pleasure tenfold."

"I trust my son." No hesitation at all. That made me really happy that dad have trust in me.

"And he trusts you. He loves you very much." I kissed his cheek and felt the stubble, it was the weekend he hadn't shaved since Friday.

Dad smiled and continued to stroke my spent cock, bringing it back to life, "Once you come out of this state of relaxation, at some point tonight you will ask your son to help you. You will ask him what you need to do, what can you do to get ready. You will only feel pleasure once it happens. This pleasure will make you feel comfortable getting played with and fucked by your son, Kyle. Understood?"

"Yes... I want that... I want Kyle to play with me..."

"He wants to play with you too. Now, you are going to wake up when I count to three. When you wake, you will not realize you were under but will retain all instructions and suggestions. You will also not find it weird that we are here covered in cum. You will find it hot and want to shower off the remnants of it before we head downstairs, and watch T.V. Understood?"

"I understand."

"Good, let's wake up. One... Two... Three..."

Life came back to dad's eyes, and he smiled when he saw the mess we had made, "Shame I didn't get that load in my mouth but can't cry over spilled milk, right buddy?"

I smiled and he closed the gap and gave me a kiss, "Let's hit the showers, son." I nodded and followed him as he dragged me to the bathroom without letting go of my cock.

We showered, made out under the running water, and then saw a bit of T.V. before we called it a night. As we were getting ready for bed, dad looked at me intently, "I love you so much, buddy."

"I love you too dad." I smiled and threw a pillow at him. He caught it and then stroked it a bit, almost as if he was arming himself with courage.

"I really want to give you everything I can, son. I'm a man and I shouldn't be scared to ask for help so here it is.” He took a deep breath, “Help me."

"Dad, anything you need, you know I'm here for you." I responded. I sat on the edge of the bed and dad came to my side and sat next to me.

"I want to be your bottom and I need to know how to do that. I don't know if hypnosis will help but in case it does, I need to prepare myself... but I don't know what I should even do first." He sounded determined but innocent all at once. I bit my lip as he said that, damn, I was once again throwing wood.

I moved a bit, trying to hide what was growing between my legs and at first, I was not sure if dad noticed but he definitely did when he got up and used my name, "Come on Kyle, I need your help. Tell me what I need to do to prep for when I finally give it up." He sounded annoyed that I would choose his vulnerable moment to be a horndog.

"Sorry dad...” I grabbed a pillow and put it over my crotch, “You need to clean yourself out and then practice. It's not much to it. Here..." I got up, covering my crotch making dad more annoyed.

“Take the pillow off, I already know you're horny,” he growled softly.

I blushed and nodded and went to get the toys. I pretended to take a while to look for them as though they were there for a long time and brought out the enema bag, "Here you go dad, this is an enema bag, you use this to clean yourself out."

"So...I fill this with water and then..." He mimed it not wanting to say it, blushing as I nodded my head.

"I can help you if that would—"

"I'll do it alone buddy. We may shower together but I draw the line with you watching me shit out poop water."

"Alright, I'll be here dad. Take your time, it's not a race."

"How long do I do it for?" He asked as he walked towards the bathroom.

"Until the water you push out is clear."

Dad was gone for a while. My cock deflated as soon as he left. Dad's mere presence had that effect on me. He could be standing perfectly still and I'd want to jump his bones. As he cleaned himself, I ended up working on emails and getting them scheduled to be sent out Monday morning. I even folded some laundry as he stayed in the bathroom. I didn't hear much other than the occasional flushing. After a little over half an hour, I heard the toilet flush again and dad come back to the room as I was putting away some clothes.

"If we were to do the deed, I'd have to do that every time?" He was red and sweating. God only knows what he did in that bathroom, but I didn't think it would take that long.

"We can get a bidet and a proper douche, you know, to be cleaner down there." I smiled at dad.

"Fuck, buddy... I have never been in the bathroom this long ever but honestly, I never felt so clean." I couldn't deny my need to be with dad. I grabbed the folded clothes still on the bed and put them on the chair in the corner of the room and ran towards dad. He held me and we began to make out. He held me tight, his shirtless frame on my clothed one. He pulled the shirt off and I began to play with his hairy chest.

As the kisses became more needy, my hands began traveling slowly down towards his ass, something he would not let me do before. The man had his hangups and one of those things was not getting near his hole. I kissed, sucked, touched, caressed and loved every part of my dad's body but his ass... that was something I wanted to explore at length but never could.

"Son..." He began as my hand caressed his ass.

"Dad please, I won't go in, I just want to touch it." I said, going back to kissing him deeply. Dad moaned into my mouth and let me explore. Fuck, that furry ass was making me bone something bad. Dad slowly lowered my shorts and began to play with my cock, "Fat executive cock..." he hissed.

We were both enthralled by what we loved on each other's bodies. I scooted up in bed and let Dad suck my dick some. I had to urge him to go slow at times and finally pulled him off. I didn't want to cum in his mouth, though I could read Dad's desire to get off that way. He loved having my dick in his mouth and loved swallowing my cum.

I got back down so we were face to face, naked in bed together. But as I got on top of him, almost a classic missionary position, I felt Dad's body jerk and shiver beneath mine. Like he got a cold spell.

"You OK, Dad?" I asked.

He nodded, gulping. "Yeah, son... it's just... fuck!"

He got another shiver. I realized it was the hypnotic suggestion, giving him that excitement when I was on top of him. I humped his cock and we made out. Dad was moaning into my mouth and clutching at my back and then my arms. Pulling me in, wanting nothing more than my weight on top of his.

"You're such a fucking stud, son," he whispered as we finally broke that kiss and looked into each other's eyes. Dad was vulnerable and yet totally alive. Turned on. Fuck, this was gonna happen. Maybe I wouldn't even need the toys.

I kissed my way down, feeling my father shiver as I enjoyed the feel of his fur and his aged brawn. I went further, pushing Dad's legs back. That didn't get resistance but almost immediately his hand was on my head, stopping me.

"Can't son," he said. Not apologetic. Like, freaked out just from the fact I was gonna rim him.

Goddamnit.

"Power down," I said.

Dad's body relaxed, almost to the point of going limp. I even had to hold his legs in place, splayed back. I could see his squeaky clean pucker. Maybe this wasn't the Protocol, but I wasn't gonna waste a clean dad hole like this. Not after dreaming about it all day.

"When you were awake, how did you feel Brian?"

"Horny... then nervous."

"I understand... but, I'm going to share a secret with you that'll make the nerves fade away. You want that, right? You can speak freely”

“Yes, I don't want to be nervous for my boy.” I smiled. It must be hard for him. A man that has lived so long with this notion and wanting to get rid of it, knowing that it'll be a pleasure for him and his lover but unable to.

“Can you keep a secret?" I whispered, looking up from his hole. Damn, I wish I didn't have to do this right now. I was ready to rock his world. Nevertheless, I persisted.

"Yes." His voice was quiet, obedient, determined.

Damn, I was rock hard. This whole thing with dad recharged me in a way that I was ready to shoot again if dad helped me out. "You are a special man, Brian. Some men only have one pleasure spot. Their cocks. You have four."

"Four?" he said, a bit surprised with a hint of confusion.

"Yes, four. You've already found two. Your cock, and the back of your throat." I reached and caressed his cock a bit.

Dad's dick surged hard again when he felt my hand and my voice, the words and their meanings sinking in.

"You like when Kyle tickles the spot in your throat, don't you Brian?"

"I do," Dad answered.

"It's pure pleasure for you."

"Yes," he said.

I ran my fingers along his leg hair as I scooted in. Dropping my voice to an even more suggestive register, I continued, "You have a spot like that deep inside you, Brian. Deep in your ass."

His face grew questioning, but he nodded.

"So deep only your son can reach it. Kyle is the only man who has the key to unlock that spot for you."

"Kyle is a man." No hesitation.

Fuck, my cock just spurted some pre on to dad's furry belly.

"You know why he has that key?"

"Because Kyle loves me." His smile grew with his response. I loved this man.

"Yes, Kyle loves you and he wants you to feel that intense pleasure deep inside you."

"I am a lucky father."

"You are a lucky man, Brian. Because you have one more pleasure spot. Your asshole craves stimulation."

"Stimulation."

"You want Kyle to make that spot feel good, too."

"Yes."

We'd see if this works.

"Ok Brian, continue to listen to my voice. I am going to count to three. You will not realize you were under, but you will continue to follow all suggestions and instructions while you were in this state. Once you wake, you'll feel alive and happy and allow your boy do what he wants, you trust him. You want this. Understood?”

“I understand.”

“Let's wake up, handsome. One... two... three...”

Dad's body tensed beneath mine and he let out a breath. It took him a half second to refocus, but he smirked at me.

"You're hard as a rock, buddy," Without missing a beat he responded as though he hadn't been under.

I nodded. "You get me that way, Dad." I attacked his chest again with my lips then started the process of kissing lower. We'd see if this worked. I slowly got to his cock, kissing it before I went lower.

Dad was hesitant, I could feel his body stiffen but then I pulled his legs back again and he let me.

I saw my prize, that beautiful daddy hole winking at me, inviting me to love it. God, I wanted that more than anything, to show how good my tongue could feel in there... before something bigger went in.

"Son please..." He whispered. He knew it was going to happen and was nervous.

"I'm here dad, please trust me, let me make you feel good just like you make me feel good."

"I trust you son... I trust you completely." He bit his lip before reaching for his legs and raising them on his own.

"Aww fuck, dad..." I said and before he changed his mind, I dove into his ass and began to kiss it. I was in heaven, after so many years, I was rimming him, and it was amazing.

"My fucking God!" Dad cried. Unprepared for the sensations, he let out a moan and spread his legs wider. "Kyle! Buddy!"

"Yeah? Like your son eating this ass?" I asked as I pulled back to look up his furry beef and into his handsome face.

"I think so..." He opened his eyes, then watched as I dipped back in again to lick his entrance. "Yeah... that's it.... I love it, son. Keep going, eat your dad's ass, buddy."

"Thank you, dad, thank you," I muttered into his hole. I responded enthusiastically and began to really eat him out. Dad was moaning, his nipples were hard, his cock throbbing. The man had denied himself this feeling for too long, and I was happy and lucky to be the one giving him this pleasure.

"Eat me out, son, God your tongue is slithering in there." He was now bucking his hole against my face, almost riding my mouth. I still didn't know how much of this was the hypnotic suggestion or his body naturally feeling good from my hitting his spot but either way, I was not going to question it. Right now, I was going to enjoy myself and really give dad the full experience.

I moaned and nodded, really pushing my tongue into that nice, clean hole, wiggling it around before retreating to tease the pucker.

"My executive stud," Dad grunted, "Showing his dad how good it is to have him playing with his ass."

‘His ass,' fuck that made me double my efforts before I reached for his cock and began to play with it.

"Yeah buddy, play with it, that ass is yours, all yours stud. Fuck, you got me so hard, son." Goddamn, my father was contracting his abs and thrusting that vulnerable cherry hole up against my munching mouth. This was out of control in the best way.

Thank you, Tech Bro, I was getting everything I ever wanted. Never would Dad have let me do this before, and now he was encouraging me to play with his amazing dad hole. This guy at the Company knew what he was doing, and Dad and I were proof of it. I would recommend the service to however many people I could and leave a great Google review.

My man was now a moaning mess, sweating profusely, his nipples hard, his cock dripping precum, I wanted to concentrate on his pleasure and not mine. My cock would explode in my shorts for all I care if it meant that dad would love this enough to let me play in there whenever I wanted.

I pushed my tongue deeper in there as I felt his hole begin to open and suck on my tongue.

"I'm on the edge, buddy... ready to cum for my executive stud... shoot for my boy..." That was hot, I got off his ass and crawled until I was on top of him, "I love you dad, so damn much."

"I want to shoot my load for you, I want to give you my load, buddy."

"Shoot for your son, dad, shoot for your man." I kissed him again. He didn't object to tasting my lips fresh from his ass. I slipped Dad some tongue before pulling back. I wanted to rim him more.

Going back to his ass, I doubled my efforts, just as my hand gripped his cock as I began to stroke him.

"Give me that load, dad, shoot for your stud, show him what a good dad you are."

"Fuck son, fuck, fuck, eat me out.... You're working my spot, son," Dad grunted.

I nodded and increased the speed of my strokes. A combination of my tongue work and my hand on his cock, Dad moaned and then I felt his cock expand and shoot his load. I continued to stroke until I felt dad's hand on mine.

"Fuck, son...fuck..." He was shaking. I kissed his ass one last time before I let him lower his legs. Scooting up, I lay next to him, my cock hard as steel. We were both catching our breath. Dad had his arm over his eyes, like he was recovering from a marathon.

"Fuck..."

"How do you feel dad?" I asked as I laid my hand on his chest. His hairy chest was damp from the sweat, and I could feel his heart beating hard.

"Damn..." He responded before he laughed, "That was... amazing. So intense, I never... All I can say is.... fuck..."

I smiled and grabbed his head. He lifted his arm and looked at me, "Was it everything you hoped for?" He asked in a sultry voice.

"And more, dad, c'mere." He smiled and we kissed. We stayed kissing until he realized I had not shot, "You didn't cum?" He asked concerned.

"This was about your pleasure dad." I responded honestly.

"I'm such a lucky bastard. Let's get in the shower, son, I'll take care of you there."

***

Before bed, I pulled out the dildo I'd purchased.

"What's this?" He asked, chuckling, nervous as he saw me bring the thing out of the packaging.

"You washed yourself, now, we need to train your ass to get used to having something up there."

I was undeterred and I looked at him before saying, "Trust me, dad."

He bit his lip and nodded, "How do you want me?"

It was difficult but after rimming him again, to calm his nerves though it was more for me, I lubed him up and ran the dildo along his ass lips.

"Oh!" he grunted. I grinned and gave him a determined look as I ran the toy over his sensitive spot. The more I ran it over his ring, the more he seemed into it, and I watched him get a boner again. I took the cue to push it in. It wasn't too big, but it was enough.

"Easy son, I'm cherry back there." He urged, reaching down to grip my forearm. Dad has a strong grip.

I nodded and concentrated on just the inner part of his sphincter, eventually working an inch in and out, giving my old man time to get used to it. All in all, we both worked to get this next step completed. A compromise between my desire to see Dad penetrated and his desire to focus on the pleasures in his anus itself. We would both get a good night's sleep after our efforts this evening.

I was getting hard, and I stroked my cock in one hand while I used the other to diddle his hole.

Dad let out a grunt and another inch of that fake cock slid inside him. The suddenness tripped my wires.

"Fuck!" I gasped as a load shot out. Since Dad had sucked me off an hour before, it wasn't the heaviest cum, but it was bigger than I expected.

I thanked him with a kiss and pulled out the dildo, laying it on the nightstand.

"That was incredible, Dad," I muttered as he pulled my body to his, “I'm glad bud... and it was good for me too.” We fell asleep soon after, dad holding me in his arms.

[bookworm-center]

Kaz Brekker x gender neutral!Reader (oneshot)

Coat Buddies

In which Kaz and Y/n go back and forth sharing a coat and little messages. (Fluff)

Author's Note: yes, I'm well aware there are plenty of these, but I figured I'd try my hand at it. It's also a hold over until I work on "Dirtyhands and the Bloodbender". Enjoy! �� Not related to DatB at all, just a little oneshot I wanted to write. I've also decided that all oneshot author's notes will now be in orange, just because I think it looks cool.

Kaz Brekker has an incredibly nice coat. Warm wool lining, pockets galore, even a secret section where a dagger could perfectly fit. So, naturally, like the thief they are, Y/n decided to steal it. They planned on returning it, of course, so one could consider it merely borrowing. It's not as though they did a job with it on and got his coat torn to bits in the process. There were only a few scratches and maybe one or two tears, if you were really looking.

The next time Kaz wears his coat, (noting how it looked worse for wear right away) he'd found a little crumpled note in his pocket. The words were written in slanted, hurried cursive, ink smudged along the parchment. "Your coat is nice. Unlike you." His lips quirk at the message. It's not untrue, and it's phrased as more of a random observation than an insult. After all, who really expects the bastard of the Barrel to be nice?

Y/n slips on the coat, fingers fumbling over the buttons. Black stitches close the damaged parts of the coat, nearly invisible in the soft cloth. The bloodstains have been washed, like the coat had never been worn in the first place. They shove their hands into their pockets, winding their way through the crowds in the streets. Snow comes down in sheets, the ground two steps away covered with white. Their gloved fingers close over a square of paper. Y/n pulls it out, squinting at the note. It's not their own; the paper is too smooth, the handwriting too neat. "Oh? I'm not the one stealing coats."

"I can't help it. For someone called Dirtyhands, you keep your coat surprisingly clean," reads the next note, tucked between a small tin of jurda and a bar of dark chocolate.

The next note is written on the paper wrapping of a new chocolate bar. "I keep it clean so I can find things. Unlike you, who keeps shoving things into my pockets."

"What can I say? I'm a talented lockpick and thief. I need somewhere to put my stuff. If you don't want me to steal from pigeons, you should have never recruit me to the Dregs." A little smile is scrawled next to the words. Kaz can't help but grin as he carefully pens out his response.

Y/n finds the next note in the special knife pocket, beside the double edged dagger they'd stashed there earlier. "I don't care if you steal things, love. Maybe your next target should be someone with a nice coat, hm?"

"Well that's no fun. After all, these exchanges are the best part of my day."

The back and forth exchange goes on for months. The snowy months give way, melting over the cobblestones, the days becoming as sunny as possible in Ketterdam. This time, when Y/n goes to pull Kaz's coat off the hook, eagerly awaiting a note, it's not there. Kaz is, hands in the pockets of his coat.

"Hey boss." Y/n sheepishly waves. They have no real reason to be nervous. It's not like Kaz knows their the one taking his coat.

"You've been taking my coat." Kaz says with a deadpan expression. Of course he knew.

"Is there a problem with that?" They cross their arms. It's always dangerous to stand up to Kaz Brekker, but Y/n's never been one to stay on safety's side. Kaz shrugs, pulling out a package from behind his desk. It's wrapped in black paper, tied with silver ribbon. "What's this?"

Kaz doesn't respond, only tossing the package to Y/n, who catches it after fumbling. They rip into it with a bit of effort. In the midst of the torn paper, folded and still new, rests a coat. It's identical to Kaz's, only in their size, and orange thread on the cuffs of the sleeves the bright color of jurda. "So you don't keep stealing my coat."

"Thanks." Both teens stand in the silent. Even though both of them are deadly, both broken and torn, they're at peace. Y/n turns to leave when Kaz calls after them.

"Y/n. If you wanted to keep borrowing my coat, I wouldn't be against it." Y/n grins, before nodding and leaving Kaz's office.

[hiskillingjar]

Strade with an autistic mc?

One of my characters has low functioning autism. She’s really sensitive to bright, noisy light and cold air. (It could trigger a meltdown). Her special interests are stuffed animals, especially if they’re big and cuddly, and apple slices.

She’s not really great at verbal communication especially when she scared or nervous. She’s good at physical communication tho? Expressions?

Also she’s part tanuki soooo do whatever you want with that.

autism gang rise up

i'm gonna make this a headcanon post cus i've written something adjacent to this for strade before (cw for. strade lol)

ren 🦊

suddenly he is the sweetest boy in the world

like so kind, so patient, so sweet

you're out in public and get triggered by bright lights, loud noises, you have a meltdown? ren is literally dragging you out and making sure you're okay

he's speaking to you so sweetly, so gently, he won't touch you if you don't want him to

he's just so patient with you

kind of like...he's the only person who really understands you? the world is so cruel and mean to people like you...and you're so sweet and gentle, you shouldn't be out there...you should be with me, you should let me take care of you...nobody else will

manipulating king. gaslighting king

to be fair he does win your affection with stuffed animals and like. good sensory stuff. blankets, pillows. got a whole autism nest goin

he'll replace all the lights in the house too

doesn't mind when you stim by touching his tail or ears. it just makes him curl into you that much more <3

and like obviously he's doing this cus he's a horny monster that wants you to depend on him

but he does genuinely just want someone to care for

like even if you can't make eye contact all the time, or if you don't understand what he says or tells you sometimes, he'd still be so patient

he knows you struggle with that stuff, and you're doing your best. that's all he asks for <3

law 🥀

autism 4 autism

law is so autistic, are you kidding.

granted their autism manifests kind of differently though. they got the liveleaks autism, the monotone drawl autism, the twin peaks autism (me too)

but like. providing that you survived the first night (cus they might not be able to stop themselves from just watching you wilt)

they'd be reasonably patient and gentle with you

i mean there's like no prolonged eye contact between you

but you'd communicate remarkably well (with what little you did actually talk)

they know how it feels to be misunderstood after all...and you're so delicate and need to be cared for

they wouldn't. totally understand your special interests (cus they like bones and taxidermy and roadkill) but they wouldn't be able to stop themselves from buying a few soft toys

you just look so sweet and comfortable when they leave you for work, why would they deprive you of that?

they might panic if you started having a meltdown, but they'd eventually clue in and. get you settled down (give them a break, they have meltdowns too)

and like. autism 4 autism...you know there's some sadomasochism happening. good for you! good for you...

strade 🔨

i mean. i've written it so. lol

strade would be such an asshole i'm so sorry

like come on you've come preloaded with triggers and buttons he could push to make you panic and freak out. he couldn't NOT fuck around with you

he might get a little overwhelmed himself by how much he likes fucking around with you. it's just so easy

keep a few bright lights on, play some music too loud, put on the air conditioning, that's all it takes? buddy you are NOT surviving this one

but okay okay. on the concept that you DO survive past the first night (lol)

strade would still be pretty shitty about everything

like he wouldn't yell or be mad at you for meltdowns but he would not understand in the slightest (and you know his ass is not looking anything up to make it easier)

it would kind of be on ren to make adjustments (changing lights, reminding him about your sensitivities) and like. maybe then he'd pay attention to some shit

he's better with your special interests and sensory needs tbh. he might even think it's kind of cute that you infodump when you're excited or curl up with blankets and soft toys

that doesn't mean he's not gonna fuck with you though lol.

also. full german stare at all times. will trigger your conversation sensitivity at all time. he loves it.

[eldritch-nightmare]

yandere sully headcanons.

a/n: don't look at me i couldn't help it okay i'll work on requests soon just let me have this. dear god it's been so long since i've written anything i hope i still know what i'm doing uhm i listened to stockholm syndrome by erra on repeat while writing this (i am obsessed w the song okay) so if that influenced it a bit then yeah it's 5am ignore the messiness and typos i just Had to write this in one sitting.

warnings: gn!reader, yandere behavior, obsessive behavior, thoughts of kidnapping, actual kidnapping, thoughts of cannibalism, kinda slight possessive behavior, scopophobia, mentions of restraints, technically a precursor to the yandere sully bot now that i'm looking at this.

He's oh so confused when he first starts feeling things towards you. It's only a brief burst of confusion, only because he's never felt this way for another person before.

Sure, he'd burn the heavens and hells for Liu, and he's pretty buddy-buddy with Eyeless Jack but this? It's new to him.

The confusion doesn't last long, that's for sure. Sully knows exactly what he wants, and he's rather in tune with his emotions so he's able to figure things out quickly.

The intensity of his love certainly surprised him though. The first time he thought 'I want to lock you up and make you mine', he took a step back and was like 'Hey man, that's pretty strange...' but he gets over this pretty quickly, obviously, or we wouldn't be here.

Besides, it's not like he's going to act out on these thoughts, right? I mean, sure, you're the most fascinating person he's ever met but he has restraint. He has a lot of restraint, thank you very much.

Haha... well... about that...

You see, Sully does have a lot of restraint, so he doesn't actually act out on these thoughts and desires for a really long time. He's fine with watching you from afar.

And also because if he did, it could lead to trouble.

He also knows that Liu would be very unhappy with him if he acted out on these desires, and Sully actually really cares about Liu and his boundaries and stuff. Sure, he could totally keep it a secret since they don't share memories and whatnot but still.

So he's content with just watching you from afar and having these thoughts. Shall I provide some examples of the thoughts he has about you?

They'd look so cute chained up and in tears.

God, I just want them to say my name like a prayer.

They're so adorable when they laugh... it makes me want to eat them.

I wonder how they'd react if I took them away from here just so I could keep them all for myself. No one will know where they are except for me... they'd never be able to get rid of me...

Wouldn't it be cute if they realized I want to make them mine? They'd probably run, but that would make things so much more fun.

I honestly think I'll kill anyone who tries taking them from me. They're mine, and I have to protect what's mine.

I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you.

He loves literally anything and everything you do. You could never bore him, even if you try really hard to. He could listen to you talk about some topic he doesn't care for for hours because it's you who's talking.

Honestly, I'm not entirely sure if he'd bother hiding his obsession with you from you. He definitely hides it from Liu, Liu cannot find out, and the others, but I feel like it's so obvious that Sully wants to just devour you.

The way he looks at you certainly sends chills down your spine, and there's something in you telling you to keep your distance, for your own safety.

He doesn't even care to be subtle when he's watching you. You can always feel his gaze on you whenever he's around, it's almost as if you're the only thing he can focus on whenever you're around. It would be kind of cute if it didn't unnerve you so much.

But it's not just that.

It's... the way he looks at you. The... the pure smitten look in his gaze as he watches you do such mundane tasks. The way his gaze always lingers whenever something or someone else needs or wants his attention. His eyes feel like they're going to consume you whole if you look into them. It's only with Sully. You never feel like this when you're around Liu.

He's well aware that you're uncomfortable with his gaze, and he thinks it's adorable how you avoid interacting with him and how you try hiding away from him whenever you're forced to be around him.

God, he could just eat you up.

And it's so hard for him to see you getting along so well with other people. He just wants to pull you away whenever you get too close to someone.

Oh man he's so very casual with all of this as well. You think it's weird and disturbing, he thinks it's romantic and a part of everyday life.

You've thought about mentioning this to Liu a few times but... what could he do? It's not like he can control Sully. Besides, Sully hasn't done anything that makes you feel as if you're in any immediate danger, he just... watches you. And smiles, occasionally, in a way that makes you unnerved to imagine what he could be thinking about.

Well, until now, that is.

What can he say? He has restraint, sure, but even he can't help but give into his desires every once in a while. And this time he just... decided to take you away.

Not while you were awake, of course.

No, he would never let you be awake for something like that. It's also just easier snatching you while you're peacefully asleep, blissfully unaware.

And you're so cute when you're sleeping, did you know that?

He lets out such a dreamy sigh as he watches you sleep on the bed he set you down on. He had brought you deep into the woods, keeping you in a neat little abandoned cabin that he managed to fix up nicely in his spare time.

Only he knew about this place. He didn't share it with Liu. It was his place. And now, yours as well.

Sully thought about restraining you to the bed... he even has a decent-length chain just for that, but...

Not yet.

He knows the chances of you running when you wake up are incredibly high, and honestly? He wants you to run. He'd love to chase you, it'd be fun for him.

You entertain him in ways no person has ever been able to. You make him feel things he's never really thought of or felt before. You're... interesting to him, which really says a lot.

He's never been so intensely interested in something before, let alone someone.

You're just special like that, he supposes, and he can't wait for you to wake up so the real fun can begin.

The only real concern that Sully has is Liu. Liu, bless his heart, would never approve of this. He's too nice, too compassionate. He wouldn't want Sully to keep you captive in a cabin in the middle of the woods. He wouldn't understand.

So, Sully does intend to keep this a secret from Liu. And the others. It's not like they'll suspect him of doing anything.

After all, he's just the guy uninterested in his surroundings, why would he have anything to do with your disappearance?

[attonposting]

Okay, so Carth keeps coming up lately, both by people who love him and people who don't, and I thought I'd throw my two cents into the ring.

People complain that Carth is sexist, a lot. And I get where that's coming from, I've got the same issues with his romance as anyone else. I love the bones of Carth's character and remember him very fondly – he's tied for my favorite character from KotOR I, even! But the writing is... flawed, to say the least, and in a way that goes past just 'poorly aged.' I don't think his lines themselves ever go worse than awkward, but there's some more fundamentally unhealthy stuff written into his relationship that I suspect wasn't intentional.

What I find interesting, and what a meme just very succinctly pointed out, is that many of the same people who have beef with Carth are cool with Atton. Who is definitely the more sexist of the two, both incidentally and deliberately. And it's a really interesting differentiation between the two pilots/f!PC love interests/earlygame buddies, because I think their palatability comes entirely down to how the games portray that sexism. So this is my attempt to figure out why one thing works and the other kinda doesn't.

Carth Onasi is introduced as a stand-up guy. He stays behind as long as he possibly can to save other survivors on the Endar Spire; he believes in the Republic wholeheartedly, he serves to protect and approves when you do the same, and other characters sing his accolades. He's supposed to be wholesome, but with PTSD-related trust issues that cause friction between him and you.

Atton Rand is the opposite of that. You find him in a jail cell, he's untrustworthy and a cad, at any given moment he's either abrasive or lying through his teeth, he complains when you help people, and when you get to the bottom of his trust issues, you find out he's a worse guy than you ever could have imagined.

It's much too oversimplified to say that Carth is supposed to be a good person and Atton is not, that's not where the problem comes from, but it will become relevant later.

When Carth starts flirting with you... okay. The biggest, most obvious problem is that the game wants you to be into it. Carth flirts and continues to flirt after you can tell him to stop. Sure, whatever; that's not egregious. You can respond to Carth's flirting positively or negatively, and that's great... but when you do respond negatively, the game loves to pull you into these playful insult exchanges where your PC shouts and pouts while Carth taunts you. There's where the issues start. Even when the player is trying to shut him down, they get dragged along for the ride anyway, and the narrative decides that this is also romantic. Thus KotOR I only has a shallow understanding that it's presenting a situation a woman may want nothing to do with. It's kind of impressive that you can actually call Carth sexist in-game, and yet it doesn't feel like the game actually understands that he is in fact being sexist.

Actually, no. Maybe I'm reading too deep into this, maybe this is why I'm so forgiving to Carth as a character, but I don't think the problem is Carth, I think the problem is that the game is being sexist in this particular spot. I was more annoyed by my own return dialogue options than anything Carth said to me - especially the ones where I was being mean. It felt like f!Revan was being pigeonholed hard into the writer's idea of 'women', that it was not an especially flattering or nuanced view, and there wasn't anything that I actually wanted to say. Definitely the writer did not understand my perspective as a player – but that's not a problem unique to K1 and it's one even the sequel is super guilty of at times, so I'll move on for now.

When Atton makes skeevy remarks, you always have at least one dialogue option to call him out for it, and you cannot ever react positively to what he says. Either you smack him down or you ignore him. This is extremely important. Yes, you could argue that it's not as accommodating to how different players might react... but what this establishes is that the game is self-aware. It does not think what Atton is doing is in any way attractive, or that it should be interpreted positively. Instead it acknowledges what a lady's probable reaction to his unwanted advances would be and encourages the player to express it, and the way that's written isn't a playful back-and-forth, it's the Exile snapping at him and Atton backtracking. Atton's being a piece of shit, but instead of stirring up chemistry, the narrative goes out of its way to mete out karma – hence everyone else on the ship mocking him, or the comically topical details like him being an unwashed loser who smells terrible and scratches his junk in public. Whether you like Atton or not, the game wants you to know that it thinks he sucks, and you are never left feeling like there is an unsettled score.

On the contrary, this lack of self-awareness is what makes Carth's romance in K1 hard to swallow if you didn't start out receptive to it. When you can react negatively to Carth's comments, it doesn't feel like you can do so in an intelligent way. The tone is very “Ugh, MEN, amirite” rather than “I don't like the turn this conversation has taken and would like to just be your colleague again” or just “Stop.” - which is probably what you wanted to say if you were just platonically enjoying or less-amicably bickering with your dorito-jacket companion when the gorgeouses started coming out of left field.

Worse, when you actually can shut Carth's romance down, it involves being a dick to him and stomping hard on his personal issues. Like I'd understand if a player was angry with him at this point, because again, you've been forced into a romance arc even when you were telling the game no as much as it would let you - but there's a huge difference between wanting to tell a guy to back off and wanting to shit on his dead wife or his Sith kid or his blown-up planet. I dunno, I'm not that vindictive! I think there's only a couple of options at the very end of his romance tree where you can turn him down... not even amicably, it's still rude, just without being a Grade-A asshole, and by that point, you have been through a lot of flirting you presumably didn't want to be involved with. Generally, the game won't let you break things off with him without being a dick, even if you never agreed to board that train in the first place. Now loop back to the way that K1 unfailingly portrays Carth as a great guy, whose flaws have nothing to do with his upstanding sense of morality, and there's where the dissonance comes from. Not only does the game push you into his romance after you said no, it makes you the bad guy for trying to get out of what he initiated.

But there's another issue in the timing of the Carth relationship. He starts his flirting while he's expressing intense distrust and standoffishness with your PC. With Carth's nonstop skepticism about your trustworthiness, and constantly bringing up his issues with you... at least during Taris and Dantooine, it comes off more like his attraction to you is superficial and not as a result of him growing to like you, something that's pushed by how it's always focused on shallow hooks like your appearance or your 'cute' attitude. It's very awkward. I do not think this was the writer's intent. I think Carth's supposed to be captivated by what he's seen you do, and that's just going in recursive loops in his paranoid little brain and making things harder for him. By the end of the romance, it's extremely clear that Carth's into you for you. But it's clumsily handled at the start.

Contrast this with Atton, who starts off aggressively sexist towards a female Exile, fifty times more offensive than anything Carth ever does. Literally the first line he gets is leering at the PC's forced state of undress, mocking her vulnerability, and he continues in that vein for much of Peragus. He creeps on your nudity at least four times off the top of my head, he ogles you, he complains about women, he tries to hit on you, he even contemplates the possibility of Sexy Kreia (which is a level of dickery I can scarcely comprehend.)

But that tapers off and disappears around the time he starts showing actual romantic interest in your PC, like when Kreia threatens him and it's revealed how much your opinion matters to him, or when he asks Bao-Dur for advice. And a female PC never sees it again. This creates the opposite impression – that Atton's attraction is a result of your time together. Sure, he's still a pig, but it follows that he wasn't making serious passes at you on Peragus because his behavior now that he is actually interested in you has changed. And it implies that in an actual relationship, that would not be how he'd view or treat you, which I think is crucial for how willing people are to ship Atton with their Exiles.

Now, this is all a product of how K2 did not actually answer that question and let you romance Atton, because with Carth, it's the opposite and you see exactly how he behaves once he gets into a serious relationship. It involves spanking. Things could be very different if K2 actually had fleshed out romances. It's hard to say, because both the PC and the crew were very thoughtfully written (I will take a bold step here and say that K2's characters were on the whole written much better than K1's), but on the other hand, Atton is still the worst and I'm pretty sure the game would want to remind you of that if you agreed to play tonsil hockey with him. And it may have crashed into the same pitfall that Carth's did; if the game railroaded your interactions with Atton up to some point, it'd leave a bad taste in anyone's mouth who wasn't already signed up for the ship.

With the way things are, Atton not only gets a free pass to be interpreted as generously as his fans want and easily ignored by those who weren't keen on him, he even gets an interest boost from this because people will always want what they can't have.

Anyway. With a male PC, you'll continue to see Atton make sexist remarks towards other female characters and can even have a wingman chat with him that is entirely him projecting his issues all over women. He doesn't make these comments with a female PC, suggesting that he's on his best behavior... but that he'd still totally be a leering asshole if he wasn't trying to impress you. With a male PC and Carth, his sexism is nonexistent, again probably because he was never intended to be sexist and it's a product of clumsy/oblivious writing.

There's an additional layer with Atton and the question of how much anything he does is an act, but that doesn't exonerate him from any of the crap he says. I could write a separate essay on Atton and his relationship with women, but the guy is very much a womanizer who's terrified of the idea of intimacy and has a lot of shitty opinions that stem from his defensive need to believe that nothing emotional is ever real or relevant to him. He might've been casing the Exile on Peragus, but his chauvinism is genuine.

But I digress. The tl,dr; is that Atton acts less sucky the more he crushes on you and Carth acts more. Combo that with how their respective games make Atton pay for being creepy but give the strong impression they want you to go along with Carth's nonsense, and it's a little less mystifying why Carth gets so little benefit of the doubt while the King of Trash enjoys fandom sexyman status. His romance is almost predicated on the fact that he's a scumbag, where Carth's is very confused to whether the awkward parts should exist or not.

There's a bit more that kinda hurts Carth. The flirting... well, from what I remember it just got “wow, okay then” later on, and I found it way more silly than offensive in any way, but him repeatedly bringing up how you remind him of his dead wife doesn't help the relationship much and suggests that Carth may be projecting someone else over you. I can live with that, drama's tasty and it doesn't prevent a real connection from burgeoning. You can make the exact same argument for Atton anyway, and I think his is way worse. My major issue is at the end of the game. Mr. Trust Issues does not react well to the events on the Leviathan, when it turns out he was right to have kept an eye on the PC all along. It's great payoff! And I absolutely adore his discussion after that, when he admits his struggles to reconcile you and Revan, how he tried but he can't hate you, how helping you gave him something real when revenge only left him hollow. Seriously, for all the shade it gets, there's some really great stuff in his romance too - you just have to stick it out long enough to see it. But then, on Rakata Prime, Carth seems to reconcile his crisis of faith and finally, wholeheartedly decide to love you in a way that falls flat on its face. He confirms you're a good person because you're not Revan anymore, like Revan is some purely evil part of you you've now cast off, when... that really seems more like denial than anything else, and not the foundation for anything healthy.

Seriously, I wish they'd handled that with more nuance. It would have counted for so much in my books.

All of that said. I know I just went after the man like a vending machine with a stuck bottle of chocolate milk, but I think the sexist vibes in Carth's romance are worst at the start and that he does not deserve the sheer amount of flack he gets. I've seen far worse offenders in the world of video game romances, and this might drive some controversy in and of itself, but I vastly prefer Carth x f!Revan to Bastila x m!Revan. There's a whole 'nother pile of issues in K1's other official ship (f in chat for Juhani), and I think those are much harder to deal with than the ones here. If anything frustrates me with Carth's romance, it's how unnecessary all of the bullshit is. I really want to get into it! The concept is perfectly fine! I love the character! There's good stuff in there! And when I replay KotOR, it's not that difficult to close my eyes to the bleh parts and enjoy the rest, especially once the first couple of conversations are past. Again, all Carth needed was a more conscientious writer at the wheel.

I'd be really interested in hearing other people's takes, both on how they interacted with either of those romances or where their interpretations differed from mine. I only have my own perspective and that of a few people I've talked to over the years, and I'm given to understand this is something of a fandom hot topic!

[avelera]

The Curious Absence of Masculine Pride and Competition : Diagnosing Why Male Characters Sometimes Feel OOC in Fics

For all the mockery that's been leveled at male writers fixating on the sexiness of female characters with lines like, "she titted boobily down the stairs," (deriding how male authors have POV female characters thinking about their own boobs an absurd amount) I think it's worth noting that female* writers often do the same for male characters, just not for physical traits, but rather for emotional openness, humility, and vulnerability.

(*There's going to be a lot of sweeping generalizations in this essay, but the gender nomenclature is being used as shorthand and is intended inclusively. Likewise, any mention of "cultural norms" is from a US/Anglosphere perspective and not intended or expected to speak to all experiences.)

Men in female-written fanworks often cry a lot more than their canon counterparts. They're emotionally available and vulnerable a lot more often, especially with their romantic partner. They're more permissive about letting another person tell them what to do or letting someone else see them in an emotionally or physically vulnerable state.

This is not a criticism of works that do this. Oftentimes, what fic is specifically addressing is a desire to see something that isn't in canon, or isn't in canon as much as the writer would like, and that often includes a character opening up in an emotionally vulnerable way, especially to their lover.

But, if you've ever wondered why a male character in fic sometimes don't feel quite right, please feel free to read on. I've spent a lot of time thinking about this, mostly to address OOCness in my own works, and I wanted to share my thoughts with those who might have puzzled over this question as a reader or as a writer.

(Some fandoms mentioned below the cut: Our Flag Means Death, Captain America, and Punisher.)

Let's start with a common scene: a male character has gone through an incredibly difficult time, fighting bad guys, losing loved ones, or going through a stressful experience. Maybe they're falling in love with another character but don't know if that love is reciprocated. Everything would be so much easier if they would just talk about their internal conflict!

Then the man gets drunk. Finally, while inebriated and crying into his cups, he admits he's in pain, or that he's in love, or that he's scared. This is an emotionally powerful moment that reveals a lot about the character and fandoms tend to eat that stuff up. Yet, when fanworks include this character, they include facts we learned from that time they were drunk, but they don't get the character drunk. The character just says the same things.

The vulnerability of that male character's confession has been included in the fanwork but the obstacles to him being vulnerable and the build-up of what it took for him to reach a point where he could be vulnerable have been largely removed.

I can give a few examples, like Steve in Captain America 1 going to get drunk to deal with the loss of Bucky, only to find he can't which means he's struggling to open up even with Peggy about what Bucky meant to him. Or the often derided need for war movies to put men into extreme scenarios just so they can hold their buddy as he dies. Women sometimes tease the emotional constipation of the need for a man to get drunk or be in an extreme situation before he can hug his male friends, but men I've spoken to like my partner find those moments more true and resonant than scenes common in fic, where male characters start weeping about their feelings the moment they're asked. That's because there are a lot of social restrictions around showing vulnerability to other people, especially other men. And as cathartic as those moments might be on screen, they're also rare. This adds to the power of the scene when an emotionally closed-off or intimidating action hero kind of guy suddenly opens up about the pain he's in, but it's not just a deliberate use of scarcity to make the moment resonate.

The thing is, you'd never know how rare it is for a male character to cry or open up about his feelings based on how often they do so in fic. To go back to Steve Rogers in the MCU as a character, I think the man gets maybe one scene per movie where he has a short, stilted dialogue with someone very close to him about the pain he feels or the fears he has? Those moments are heightened because they're rare but they're also kind of realistically rare. A lot of guys just don't go "bleeding" all over the place. It's kind of a huge problem societally, actually.

To go to another example, I've seen a lot of fics for Our Flag Means Death predicting Season 2 and a lot of them have Ed as an emotionally shattered mess because of Stede's perceived abandonment. Now, OFMD is a very unique story in how often it does allow its male characters to be vulnerable. Fic writers can point to moments on screen of the characters crying and being vulnerable with each other, not the case with every fandom source material. But, I think what's being overlooked is that in Ed's "blanket fort" scene and in the final shot of him sobbing in Stede's bed, he is alone. He has hidden himself rather than be seen crying in public. When he does come out of the cabin to sing about his feelings, he specifically notes how scary it is to be emotionally open like that and Izzy as the voice of Masculine Restrictions shuts him down because of it, showing that there was a reason in Ed's mind that was confirmed by the narrative for why he might want to hide those feelings and that vulnerability from the world. It's not right, it's not fair, it's not the way things should be but that's not the point. The reason Ed opening up was powerful and a singular moment was because it was in spite of those societal restrictions and norms.

Men in general aren't being constipated with their emotions and their emotional truth because they're being deliberately difficult. They do it largely because there is a lot of cultural pressure put on the need to do so and a lot of social punishment leveled at those who cry in public or admit something hurt their feelings. This is where masculine pride comes in to, the need to be seen as strong is a huge social imperative thrown at men. The need to be the best at what you do, to not show weakness, and to show constant strength and mastery are enormous burdens they're expected to uphold.

On the one hand, it's why moments where those restrictions shatter are such catnip to fic writers, but on the other, I think it should be noted that they're catnip scenes because they're very rare. Works written created by men spend a lot of time building up to those moments and earning them, not letting a guy cry until his buddy dies in his arms, not letting him say what's going on or that he feels weak unless he's impaired with alcohol or in some other extreme situation like locked up in an elevator with another character until they finally admit what's going on inside them.

Now, let's get into the craft of writing for a second. One thing writers, especially newbie writers, struggle with is obstacles. Obstacles are what stand between your character and their goals. They can be emotional or physical or mental or symbolic. How a character deals with obstacles is what makes us get to know them and get to like them, it's how we learn about who they are as people. Stede and Ed from OFMD, or Captain America, or any other character you can think of would all approach a locked door in a different way. That locked door is an obstacle to what they want: what's on the other side of the door. How a character approaches the locked door tells us who they are. Do they shoot the doorknob? Bash through it with their shield? Test the knob and sigh comically when it's locked? Pick the lock? Do they go around back and look for another way in? When the character gets through the obstacle, the audience experiences a certain amount of catharsis and pleasure, if the creator has done their job right.

Now, masculine pride and social restrictions are an obstacle to the characters getting what they want. A really delicious and tantalizing one for many, especially if you're writing romance: what will it take to get this guy to admit he's in love? Some fic writers though want to skip cracking open the hard outer shell and just go straight to the juicy vulnerable center. And that's ok! Maybe you don't want to write an entire novel about Frank Castle, the Punisher, or any other macho tough-guy character getting worn down to the point he breaks down crying about the pain he's in. Maybe you just want to write the scene where he sobs in the arms of his best friend about it, just go straight for the catharsis.

But, if you're writing a longer work and you can't put your finger on why the Punisher feels out of character, well, it's because a tough guy character like that usually doesn't want to open up. It's gonna take some intricate rituals for him to be allowed to touch the skin of another man or a woman for that matter. These obstacles to him opening up tell us more about the character and they also serve as the meat on the story for the audience, who wants it to feel special when this guy finally does open up. If he was bleeding his innermost feelings and emotions all over the place, those moments wouldn't feel as special, or realistic, or important. Fic writers who just want more of that moment understandably write fics that just go straight for the pay-off, but the wait and the rarity of that moment is what makes the character, especially a male character, feel in character and plays to the traits like being the strong, silent, stoic type that attracted people to that character in the first place. Therefore, keeping or including or simply being mindful of those obstacles to a male character being emotionally vulnerable also plays to why people liked those characters in the first place and will make your story feel more authentic.

Aside from emotional vulnerability as something men avoid showing, there's also male pride as a motivator. A guy who sets out to be the very best at something probably has a fair amount of masculine-typical pride motivating him or as a trait the creator of that character keeps in mind while writing him.

Stede from Our Flag Means Death is a fairly effeminate man and that's actually a pretty big plot point. It's a plot point in how it makes him lash out at those like Nigel Badminton who don't take him seriously enough, and his wrestling with what it means to be a man is a huge part of his emotional journey in the show. If he just wanted to go to sea, he could have run off and joined someone's crew, but instead, he built a ship and styled himself as a captain, and worked as best as he could to be worthy of the title of "Fearsome Pirate Captain", often to hilarious results, but again those obstacles to him being what he wants to endear him to us. But make no mistake, he wants to be those things. He wants to be his own version of the masculine ideal of a powerful leader, killing with kindness instead of weapons, but he still wants to be one.

Conversely, Ed in the show wants to be soft but it's a jealously guarded secret for him, because he has succeeded in the masculine ideal of being a fearsome pirate captain, and felt incredible pressure to hide that he wanted softness in his life. Even as he was trying to overcome those masculine restrictions he was intensely aware of them.

If one were to write these characters without them being aware of masculine desire to be a fearsome pirate captain and masculine fears around being seen as wanting softness in their life, that makes them behave a certain way to hide this about themselves, they'd be missing a huge chunk of what makes these characters tick.

Again, I don't want to tell people how to write fic. But for those this resonated for with an eye towards their own writing, keep in mind the qualities of masculine pride and competition when writing male characters, as something they're at least aware of even if they're not concerned about it within your particular story. These societal imperatives and obstacles are minefields in the lives of many men and are built-in as expectations for many male characters, especially those by male creators. To ignore these qualities and expectations will make the character somewhat OOC, it might make them behave differently in your story than they might in canon, if canon-realism is what you're going for.

Consider talking to a man in your life about how another man would react to a certain situation, what it would take for them to be vulnerable, or how they'd react if another man saw them in a vulnerable situation. Cis male writers aren't the only ones who get other genders wrong and while it doesn't have to be a consideration your fiction takes, it can help one write more realistic male characters to ask these questions and include these common emotional and societal barriers to vulnerability in your work.

[exhuastedpigeon]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Not gonna lie, I've been really struggling to write since I wrote my last fic. It kind of feels like all of my writing beans left me when I posted it, but this lil game makes me really want to write.

How many works do you have on ao3? 155 (holy shit????)

What's your total ao3 word count? 682,114

What fandoms do you write for? Currently? Mostly 9-1-1, but occasionally Teen Wolf stuff

Top five fics by kudos: 1. Queer Robins Club 5246 kudos DC | Mature | 4.9k words

2. Dustin's Dad(s) 3783 kudos Steddie | Teen | 5.2k words

3. give me a sign, I want you next to me 2528 kudos Buddie | Teen | 7k words

4. let me see them tan lines 2399 kudos Buddie | Teen | 2.8k words

5. On the Ropes 2349 kudos Sterek | Teen | 5.4k words

Do you respond to comments? Yes! I try to respond to every comment!

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? With a Whimper probably. It's also the only first person POV fic I've ever written lol.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Basically all of my fics have happy/hopeful endings? Maybe there ain't no turning back?

Do you get hate on fics? I have before but not recently!

Do you write smut? I do :)

Craziest crossover: Back Alley Deals is a crossover between Batman and Teen Wolf where Stiles goes to Gotham and ends up hooking up with Jason Todd.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Yeah a couple times in the Sterek fandom! I don't found out because some friends found them.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes! A few of them have been. I'm always open to translations.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes! There was a Jaytim WIP exchange last year that I took part in.

All time favourite ship? I can't pick one? Either Sterek or Buddie probably.

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Right now it feels like all of them, but probably my fic affectionately titled The Repression Symphony where I go through the movements of a symphony and dive into Eddie's religious trauma.

What are your writing strengths? I think dialogue and descriptions probably.

What are your writing weaknesses? Endings are hard!

Thoughts on dialogue in another language? I don't really do it because I only speak English I don't want to use google translate to write it.

First fandom you wrote in? Harry Potter

Favourite fic you've written? I can't pick one!!!

give your heart and soul to charity Teen | 12.5k | Buddie Eddie finally address his Catholic trauma and guilt.

lay your cards down, down, down Mature | 6.3k | Buddie Buck and Eddie wake up married in Vegas

there ain't no turning back Explicit | 28.3k | Buddie Buddie healing road trip, my beloved

every road and every highway led me right back to your door Teen | 2.5k | Sterek A woman gives Derek a baby and then turns to mist, he calls Stiles.

it hurts to hope for more Mature | 15.6k | Buddie Buck experiences a major non-romantic heartbreak and is forced to look at his life in a new way.

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[nonexistent-introvert]

THE BACK TO DECEMBER FIC FOR JAVI WAS FOUL 😫 I NEED 4-5 WORKING DAYS TO RECOVER OVER THAT ONE 🧎‍♀️ anyways if you accept fic requests can i request another speak now inspired fic for javi? it would be based of I Can See You… Like tell me that song isn’t Javi coded 🤓 I just know that song was written for him like the pining from the office romance and stuff 😩😩😩 ok ill shut up and i hope you have a great day/night and I hope you find a dollar or something in your back pocket ily

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader

Word Count: 3.2k

Content: Javier notices you and sees you for who you are despite you thinking he would never. Based of well, this ask and the song!! VERY MILDLY SUGGESTIVE

A/n: I HAVE BEEN INACTIVE IM SORRY. I had severe writer's block and i was stressing because guess who procrastinated too much and is not very off track when it comes to work.

 You brush past me in the hallway

And you don't think I, I, I can see ya, do ya?

I've been watchin' you for ages

And I spend my time tryin' not to feel it

  “Excuse me.” the sound of your voice caught Javier off guard. He watched helplessly as you brushed past his shoulder and headed for your desk. A smirk formed on his lips, Javier stared helplessly at you. He met your eye contact too many times from across the office to know that you stared at him as much as he stared at you. “Who caught your eye now?” Steve patted his partner’s back, his eyes following Javier’s gaze. Javier turned his head away from your direction, focusing on Steve instead. “Nothing.” He shrugged. Steve sent him a knowing look, raising his eyebrows with a look of disbelief. “You have been awfully distracted, buddy.” Steve said. “I just got a lot of matters to handle,” Javier stated plainly before walking away. 

   Javier Peña had one rule, he never gets involved with coworkers. 

   Like a traitor, his eyes drifted to your workstation a few desks away from him. Your hand covered the lower half of your face as you stifled a yawn, your eyes fixated on the files before you. Your head slowly lifted from the files and your eyes instinctively found his. Your eyes widened ever so slightly upon meeting eye contact with him while you tried to look past him, pretending that you were trying to look at something in the distance instead. He chuckled softly at your antics. This happened between the both of you multiple times already. How did Javier know? Because he spent his time admiring you from afar too. 

And we kept everything professional

But something's changed, it's somethin' I, I like

They keep watchful eyes on us

So it's best that we move fast and keep quiet

You won't believe half the things I see inside my head

Wait 'til you see half the things that haven't happened yet

   Javier kept a poker face when he received news that he was being partnered up with you instead since Steve had to travel overseas for another mission. “Agent Peña” You greeted him while shaking his hand. “Javi.” Javier corrected you, he didn’t know what made him introduce himself with the nickname he only let the people closest to him call him but he continued to grin at you. “Right, Javi.” You repeated, testing his name on your lips. Javier had never felt his heart leap in his chest like this before. “That’s perfect cariño” He assured, his words falling easily from his own lips. Your cheeks turned pink at the nickname, while you cleared your throat. 

    “I look forward to working as your partner Javi.” You told him, your eyes turning into arches.

      His heart fluttered in his chest at that smile. 

====

    “Coffee for you, hermosa.” Javier greeted while placing a cup of coffee on your desk. You hummed upon tasting the coffee. “Thanks, I need you to look through these files.” You replied casually to him with a smile. It had become a routine for Javier to buy you coffee before he headed for work after noticing how sleepy you get in the morning. Javier leaned down, his arm that was beside you bore his entire weight while his eyes scanned the files on your desk. His pointer finger tracing the words on the file. His body was incredibly close to you, till the point where his cologne engulfed you and yet it didn’t make you feel out of place. 

    If the both of you paid any mind to your surroundings, you would have noticed the stares of everyone in the office and the chatter that sounded around you as they stared at the both of you. The both of you have gone from only talking to work to buddies who drank together after work and had lunch together. It was a rare sight to catch one of you without the other. Things have changed significantly since the day you were assigned to be his partner. 

   “Are we up for dinner?” You asked him nonchalantly, Javier glanced at you, humming slightly as he thought about his plans for the night. “I promised to have drinks with Steve.” Javier groaned, “How about you join us?” He suggested instead. You grimaced at the thought, not because you had anything against Steve but because you didn’t want to intrude. Plus you doubted it would only be Steve at the bar on a Friday night, you weren’t keen on spending your night under watchful eyes, eyes who are constantly trying to guess if you were Javier’s latest plaything or if there was something more beneath the surface. You massaged your temples at that thought, you had enough headaches from the case, relationship issues seemed redundant at this point in time. Javier sighed disappointedly at your reaction. 

   “I’ll see you at your place then?” Javier’s eyes bore into yours, his eyes shining under the lights in the office. A small pout sat on his lips, his heart hoping that you would let him see you. “Mmm sure,” You agreed, you could never say no when he gave you that gaze. He grinned proudly. His hand subtly moved on top of yours, giving it a small squeeze. “Gracias cariño” Your eyes widened at his gesture. “W-what the” You replied flusteredly, Javier had never touched you in the office, he knew that you didn’t like the spotlight that was already above the both of you. “See you.” He simply said, giving you a small wave as he returned to his desk not that far from yours. You gave him a flabbergasted look, still taken aback at his actions. 

     If only you knew what was in Javier’s mind, what he truly wanted to do. Javier had to physically hold himself back and fight the urge to press a kiss to your forehead. It’s not like he hadn’t done it before, he always did it as a form of gratitude. Especially when you cooked him meals or brought him coffee when he drove you to work in the morning. He just never did it in public before, because he knew how much you hated the speculations and gossip that was already surrounding the both of you. 

   Deep down, he wondered if it was actually as bad as you made it out to be. Would it be really that dire if people thought that the both of you were together? The only speculations that he wanted to openly shut down were the ones that said you were his next plaything. 

   You were definitely more than that. 

   He wanted you to be more than a friend, although, he wasn’t sure if you felt the same way yet.

======================

 I could see you in your suit and your necktie

Passed me a note saying, "Meet me tonight"

   Javier has been loitering near your desk for the past 15 minutes, making frequent trips to the evidence room for no apparent reason since he always seemed to go in and come back with the same file in his hands. It was hard to focus when his frame kept drifting in and out of your hindsight. Especially when he’s in a full-on suit today for the meeting with the ministry. He wore a white button-up that was actually buttoned up properly, finished with a red necktie. The same tie you had picked for him, a gift for his birthday. 

   When Javier made his way back into the evidence room for the umpteenth time, you found yourself getting up from your seat, picking up a file on your desk that you had to return before following him. Javier’s breath hitched upon seeing you enter the evidence room after him, his entire body went stiff when your eyes locked with his. “What is so interesting here that you need to keep coming in here? I thought you were screwing someone in here.” you teased, your eyes scanned the room for any possible reason. Javier scoffed at your comment, a small laugh escaping him. “You know very well I haven’t done that for months now.” You shrugged at him, “You said you were going to quit smoking but I caught you multiple times smoking too so I don’t really know.” Javier flinched at your words. It was a poor excuse but he figured that smoking was the only thing that was keeping him sane in this job. “What’s stopping you from going back into your old ways?” You continued on, totally oblivious to his internal conflict.

   Just like how you were totally oblivious to his feelings toward you. 

   You. Javier’s mind urged him to tell you. Tell you that you’re the reason he’s changing for the better. You’re the reason he wants to be a better person. He wants to be someone you can be proud of, he doesn’t want you to see him for the mess of a person that he is. A smoker who sleeps with a new girl every night, he didn’t want you to know him as that asshole. 

  Javier fiddled with the corner of the post it he had pasted on the file nervously. He has fiddled with it so much that the post-it note was losing its stick. His mind and heart urged him to just get it over with but he just couldn’t seem to move his muscles. “Are you ok?” You asked worriedly upon seeing the dazed look on his face and how he nervously chewed on his lip “I-I’m fine.” Javier shot a glare to Steve who had entered the evidence room as well. His glare was enough to make Steve stumble slightly, as though he could hear the string of curses Javier was throwing in his direction internally. “Did I walk in at the wrong time?” Steve asked, eyeing the both of you. You gave him a judgemental look before shaking your head. “Read this,” Javier muttered, pushing the file he had been holding into your arms. You let out a gasp at his sudden movement, your eyes following his figure as he strode out of the evidence room. 

  “What’s up with him?” Steve asked. Your eyes were fixated on the file he had given you. The bright green post-it note catches your eye instead. 

   “Meet me tonight. P.S. It’s a date.” 

   Your heart paced, a dreamy smile appearing on your face while you rushed out as well, leaving behind a dumbfounded Steve. 

===================

Then we kiss, and you know I won't ever tell, yeah

And I could see you being my addiction

You can see me as a secret mission

Hide away and I will start behaving myself 

    Everything had gone wrong. There was an error in the reservations at the restaurant Javier booked, causing everyone to be served according to the ‘first come first serve’ policy. You claimed that you didn’t mind waiting but Javier knew you well enough to know that the unhappy crowd was already making you uncomfortable. You always went for lunch 10 minutes later just to avoid the crowd, he doubted that making you queue next to a bunch of unhappy customers would be fun for you. So, he settled for having pasta at some commonplace that was filled with students. Having affordable meals and student deals was very attractive to most broke college students in the area. Albeit the both of you looked very out of place, dressed to the nines while the others wore school-based t-shirts. However, you seemed content, much happier than when you stood outside the expensive restaurant. As much as you tried to hide it, he noticed the grimace on your face when you saw the outrageous prices on food that you don’t even like that much. He is a DEA agent after all. 

     “I’m sorry. It wasn’t supposed to turn out like that.” Javier apologised while he walked with you back home. His car just had to break down today too. His thumb played with the straps of the heels that you were wearing at the start of the date. Now, you were in slippers, bought from a random shoe store beside the pasta restaurant. He remembered the horror and panic that rose in him when you casually adjusted your heels to find out that the heel of your foot was bleeding from the friction. “Ah, shit.” You simply cursed with a grin, having long gotten used to being injured because of heels due to the number of events you had to attend. “It was fun.” You admitted genuinely, a carefree smile on your face as you walked with a bounce in your steps. His suit jacket had found its place around your shoulders instead while he walked with his white button-up whose first few buttons were now unbuttoned. The necktie you had bought him safely tucked away in the pockets of his suit jacket. 

   “I wanted it to be romantic,” Javier admitted, eyeing the flower stand on the street, contemplating whether it was too late to buy you flowers as an apology for how badly everything had gone. “Romance is subjective.” You simply replied, your grin shining in the night. He smiled back at you despite the growing regret in his heart. He should have planned better, maybe he should have had backup plans or something. “Can I be honest with you Javi?” Your eyes eyed him expectantly. “Yeah, of course. I hope you are.” He scratched the back of his neck nervously. What if the truth and honesty hurt him a bit too much? 

     “I wouldn’t have enjoyed the date you planned.” Javier flinched visibly at your words that seemed to stab him right in his ego. “Not because it’s bad or anything but as I said, romance is subjective.” You quickly explained, eyeing him for his reaction. Javier forced a smile despite the way his heart clenched. “The expensive restaurant, I was horrified by the prices. Might have lost my appetite just looking at how it would probably cost like a quarter or more of our salary. The cheapest thing there was a salad! Can you believe it? It almost costs 20 dollars for a bunch of green veggies.” You scoffed in disbelief. Javier chuckled, knowing your distaste for vegetables. “And if your car didn’t break down today, I would never have known about the amazing ice cream place that serves incredible soft serve.” Your eyes seemed to light up at the thought of the soft serve he had bought with you just minutes ago while the both of you walked back. “Plus, if I was in the expensive restaurant I wouldn’t have been able to take off those heels.” You gestured to the heels he was holding for you. “Oh, plus the affordable pasta? It was a win and I didn’t have to stress over which spoon or fork I should be using to eat it. I never did understand the need for the different sizes of cutlery they provided at those restaurants. You may think everything went wrong but I enjoyed this date more than anything.” You confessed, a shy smile tugging on your features as you looked at him. Javier couldn’t help the way his heart fluttered as you opened the door to your apartment. Time seemed to have passed so quickly with you. “Thank you, Javi. Honestly, you could have just asked me over to your home for this date and I would still enjoy it.” You leaned against your doorframe slightly. 

    At that moment, all Javier could see was you in all of your beauty. His heart threatened to leap out of his chest at all the overwhelming emotions you made him feel. His hand reached out to brush a strand of your hair away from your face. He was testing your boundaries, but you simply let him do so. He could be delusional but he swore that there was adoration in your eyes when you looked at him again. 

   Then he gave in to the intrusive thoughts in his head. 

   His hand caressed the side of your face as he slowly brought your face closer t his. Your breath hitched at his sudden movement but you tip-toed to better reach him and Javier finished the job by pressing his lips against yours. 

   You could have sworn there were fireworks going off, all the emotions finally being let out in one simple action. Your heart soared as you clutched onto the fabric of his button-up, wrinkling the material in your hands. You pressed yourself closer to him, Javier’s hand moved to your hips to push you closer to him, like a man fighting for oxygen to survive.

   You were everything he liked about smoking and more. He felt his emotions slowly coming to a halt, everything seemed to slow down. A calm serenity overcame him as he focused on you only. Then his grip on your hips tighten as he searched for more of this emotion. Like you’re some kind of drug he was addicted to. 

   When he broke the kiss to catch a breath, you started laughing lightly, overwhelmed with happiness. Javier cleared his throat, straightening his posture, as though he hasn’t been melting into your touch just a few seconds ago. 

I can see you waitin' down the hall from me

And I could see you up against the wall with me

And what would you do? Baby, if you only knew, oh

That I could see you throw your jacket on the floor

I could see you, make me want you even more

What would you do? Baby, if you only knew

That I can see you, oh, I can see you

  “See you tomorrow cariño.” he said breathlessly. You bit on your lip, not wanting him to go just yet. Javier had already started walking backward, to his apartment that was just opposite from yours. He waved with a boyish grin to you, as though telling you that he was open to spending more time with you. 

   Javier had to force himself to walk away, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to leave if he stayed any longer in your company. His fingers subconsciously traced his lips, he could still taste the peach-flavored lip balm you had put on. His mind drifted to the various scenarios of what would have happened if he didn’t stop himself, things would have gone further. He would have you against the wall, he would remove the jacket that was around your shoulders and trace his lips on the curve of your shoulders. Javier shook his head, riding himself off those thoughts. 

   “I didn’t think you knew I existed before.” Your words from your dinner with him echoed in his head. You didn’t think he knew of your existence before you were his partner. How could he not? He noticed you the moment you were introduced to the department, especially being the rare few female agents in the building. The bright smile on your face was enough to capture his attention. 

   If only you knew that he sees you everywhere. His eyes are always on you the moment you enter the same room as him, if not, his mind would be thinking of you. 

Javier definitely sees you for who you are, he also definitely sees you way too often than he has to, he just can't help how his eyes seem to drift to you every time. Even now, his eyes drank in the sight of you as you hesitantly closed your door. Ending the night for the both of you and hopefully allowing possibilities to blossom between the both of you.

[teresalace]

🥵The Bastard Takes You Home (Courtin Cowboys the bastard x G.N Reader)

• Words: 4.2k

• Triggers: Usage of word Member, non consensual humping, In the woods, Minor spoilers, Ditzy reader

Author notes: WHere's the bastard x reader fics at?🍳👄🍳Back from My long ass hiatus and now it's studying season for abit, going to work on unfinished stuff for yall, hope you enjoy guys! (tho this isn't the most satisfactory story I've written so far personally 🥴🥴 Or maybe I wasn't in the mood anymore) As always, minors beware AND SUPPORT @ffishstickks COURTIN COWBOYS!!!

~~~~

It's 1863 and you're on a journey with an old friend to the western town of Summerfair.

Luckily or not for your incredibly charming friend, they managed to win every heart from left, right and center while you were settling down and becoming a decent inn's cook. Last thing you heard from your dear friend, landing themselves in some love scuffle before ending up with a dopey shepherd, was having an all lovey dovey time in that barn. . . 

The clink of a beer infront of you pulled you from your thoughts, full and chilly when you grabbed it.

Downing it immediately, the noisy world around you came bubbling back to life. The bar, ever so lively with patrons chatter and piano tunes, made you feel less alone. 

"Thanks bartender," you smiled with a bright buzz, "I'll cook you up something good next time for the free drinks." HIC.

You stood from the bar seat. A solemn head nod from the bartender bids you farewell.  

Out of the saloon you went, a pleasant buzzing throughout your body, still in the middle of the quiet town.

Just as you walked a step to balance yourself, something below stopped you. Looking down at the ground by your shoe, you couldn't believe it!

You picked up the 100 coin pieces, quickly pocketing it into your pouch and gave it a pat. A cheerful smile making it's way on your derpy face.

What a good omen! 

Maybe it could mean it's time for you to find somebody to spend the rest of your days with. Good omens don't always come your way. 

.   .   .

Hah, what funny things were you thinking now, the sun has barely set. 

The loneliness must've begun to sink in after overhearing a married patron brag about one of the multiple lovely times he's had in the saloon. Oh how suddenly you wished to be living in those romantic stories, to be the one held sweetly underneath moonlight and stars. 

It would be so nice, you thought wistfully.

In your slightly drunken walk down town, head high in the clouds, you smacked right into a charming familiar face who you haven't seen in a while of a week.

"(Name)! Great timing, I've got so much to tell you– What are you doing daydreaming outside the inn– you'll get all sweaty and red." Not waiting another second or for a response, they dragged your bubbly-self into the shelter of the inn. 

Your body felt cooler already, calming you down as both you and your friend plopped on the reception seats. The buzz in your blood slowly going away. 

HIC. 

"Thanks, buddy," you pushed down an incoming burp from ruining whatever you wanted to say. "Thought you were busy loving that Shepherd."

"I was, just LAST night." They chuckled, looping their arm around yours. "But never too busy to visit my dearest friend, so tell me, what's gotten you looking so glum? I hope this town hasn't bored you yet." Oh no this town was the most exciting thing to you since you weren't close to anyone besides your friend and the friendly inn keeper (who provides rare ingredients for your cooking per request), barely boring but then again you were simple to entertain.

The one and only friend loyal enough to stay with you through hard times while disappearing into thin air when not needed. The friend you needed right now to make a life-changing decision, drunk as can be.

HIC.

"I've been wanting to settle down you know. Maybe in this town or the next one, I don't wanna keep–" A large burp from your guts interrupted your heart-to-heart talk.

"Burping?" Your friend teasingly finished the sentence.

"–Being alone after a long day."  You breathed out a sigh as they watched, sobering up slowly. "It sounds nice enough to imagine having somebody to go back home to." You hoped you didn't sound ungrateful to them but it just isn't the same anymore, you couldn't always rely on your friend for emotional support. Both of you knew that. 

A short pause. 

Giving their earnest attention to you, your dear friend pulled your hands into their lap and held them. "I truly hope you find what you're looking for, (Name), take  your time and see what or who life can surprise you with!" 

When they comfort you like this and talk sweetly, it's no surprise they've got the whole town smitten for them in an instant. Even though you were generally known as their best friend, it still came with some advantages– free drinks sometimes– and more if the time of day was right. You were proud to have a wonderful friend like them and hope to have an equally amazing partner too. 

Wishing that day came sooner.

"(Name)," their voice brought you back to earth and to a pair of concerned eyes. "I think you need to down a cup of water or two, you must've had too many drinks." 

Smiling unashamedly, "only one but guilty." Your answer was followed by a snort response from them. 

Your friend's eyes twinkled like an idea popped in. "I'll tell you what, after you have some water, why don't we go fishing together? Might as well when the weather is lovely and the sun is still out." You took a brief minute to think. Fishing wasn't the most fun activity, you've tried before and preferred to buy your fishy ingredients from the market but with your friend as company? It started sounding not too bad of a plan.

"Hmm. Alright, let's do it," you agreed, shrugging. What could possibly go wrong other than feeling boredom and being sprayed with water or slapped by some fins if unlucky. They cheered loudly and shook your hands together in theirs, earning a glance from the ever-smiley handsome inn keeper.

"Don't you worry, it'll be fun!" They grinned enthusiastically, getting to their feet and pulling you up along. "A warning, you'll need some patience and a strong grip because some of those fishes are slippery fellows." Too late to back out now when you heard that. 

"Great. I could use a challenge now and then," was what you said until both you and your practically beaming friend left the inn, following the forest path and arriving at a creek they discovered in the woodside of the town. 

Fresh minty breezes, vibrant greenery and shrubs surrounded you in every inch though you didn't expect for the fishing spot to be at an unimpressive small creek. 

"This place is where I usually fish! You can even forage some of them delicious berries if you walk a bit and turn right." They squeal showing you, delighted and setting down their basket full of fishing supplies near the creek edge, not too close to be worrisome.

Its deep and calm blue waters glittered in the sunlight while both you and your friend settled down on the flat grassy patches (that you assume have been made by their many trips here), under the cool shades of the forest. 

Curious, you stared at the creek then asked them. "If you've been fishing here a lot of times then there's no way there'd be any fish left, right?" They turned their head to face you, giggling as if you said something funny, pointing to the basket.

"You'll see, (Name). Just give it a try and wait, this town never seems to run short of anything. Really." That felt like they weren't referring to the fish anymore but something else entirely you couldn't understand. 

Moving on from that before the small talk ate away the remaining time before sunset, you and them began unpacking stuff, each person equipped with a sturdy, metal fishing pole in both hands. Looking back at the waters then to the wriggling worm on the hook of your fishing pole, some part of you doubted this would work and be a waste of time. 

Sure you couldn't see through into those unclear waters but could there really be fish swimming in there? 

The answer, a shocking yes with a side of boots and weeds. 

No kidding patience was important, you fished more junk than actual fish whereas your friend beside you managed to capture the most. 

"Really wasn't expecting this much fish, wow," you exclaimed at the sight of the bucket full to the brim with a colorful variety of fish, some you've never seen before in all your years of cooking. 

"What did I tell ya?" They set side their fishing pole, grinning, barely a drop of sweat on their shining face.

"You were right." 

"Psh, of course I'm right," they teased, leaning against a tree. "Told you to go exploring the town some time, there's plenty of surprises to experience. But a word of caution, don't go exploring at night. There's nothing much to see than maybe a pervert here and there doing their business."

"Yeah, I'll keep that in mind."

Everything was peaceful, with your friend relaxing beside the full bucket, you laid on your side on the soft cool grass, bare feet pointed towards the creek. 

"Remind me to bring more buckets next time we go fishing," you slurred, lips slowing down in movement.

"Hah, will do, (Name)." Their giggles fading into the breezes.

Gentle rustling of bushes lulled you to doze away and drape your eyes from the world, no longer hearing the shrills from the birds overhead. 

It felt like nothing could ruin this perfect day. So you decided to fall asleep, waving off your persistent friend to go on back without you, trusting that they would leave some fish behind for tonight. Though fishing alone wasn't fun, they were right about the weather being lovely, almost too lovely to not take a nap.  .  .

Unfortunately the short nap you originally intended for, lengthened to an hours long coma. Only when the sudden burst of froggy croaks and loud crickets chirp disturbed your sleep, did you realize the sun had been replaced by the brightest full moon. 

You hugged your form, waves after waves of chills beginning to settle in your bones. 

That was one dangerous nap, to be waking up at near midnight in the woods. Nope, you got to head back to the inn and fast.

Rustle. Rustle.

Instinctively you held your breath, paused in the middle of pushing yourself off the bitter-cold ground. It could just be the wind? Or an insect hopping about. Yeah, yeah it must be. 

Convincing yourself that it was nothing, no, it had to be nothing, was a tough feat but somehow you managed to carefully get up. 

The tip of your shoes accidentally kicking over something nearby, oh- it was the bucket of fish! How nice of your friend to not leave you without some company. 

It was too dark though, you put aside the urge to bring along the bucket and opted to only placing it in your spot. Hope the fishes wouldn't spoil at sunrise. 

Then off you went, towards the inn.  .  .

There was a small problem in your navigation skills when everywhere you turned to appeared to have the same vaguely shaped trees, it was black as the night sky above too but fortunately you walked out of the creek area. 

You think the hard ground beneath your shoes feel familiar, that is, until mud and softer patches of soil messed with your senses. Great, you stood there in silent frustration.

Maybe you should've explored the woods like your friend suggested before as now you surely were lost. Not that it was their fault for leaving you behind. 

Rustle.

.   .   .

RUSTLE. RUSTLE. 

Louder now, you heard it, the rough shaking of bushes close by. Your heart pounded. 

That wasn't nothing. 

Loud enough to freeze you in place, just as you looked in the source's direction– 

Something heavy tackled you to the ground from behind, the side of your face smashing against dirt and mud as that thing landed on your back.

–Oh no, bear. A huge bear in these woods and no warning signs in sight about it?! Your friend would've told you, scratch that, would've not even mentioned fishing had there been a wild animal–

"Grrrrr." 

Hot air fanned the nape of your neck as it sniffed you over like you were its next meal. 

Frozen and taking in shallow breaths, your mind was focusing too hard on the sharpness of its talons pressing against your arms. Almost warning you to stay still, not that you could successfully struggle against its monsterous weight before being crushed to death.

Wait, did bears know how to cage people? 

"Grrrr," its breath leaned down and edged the curve of your ears. Please get it over with, you were awaiting, hopeful for, a quick and painless death at this point.

Panting over you, in the silver of moonlight you caught a side-glance at the wild animal or at what you initially assumed to be that had you pinned down. 

It was no animal but a humongous bare chest man, canines glinting as he grinned down at you.

Long shaggy pitch black hair that resembled fur than human hair, earthy toned skin that faded to an inky black down his forearms. 

Was half of his body covered in mud? 

Ah, your neck ached from trying to get a better view of him. Surely even a beast of a man like himself would help if you explained yourself, right? 

"Uh– excuse me, sir." Huffing, he dragged his gaze from your body to your eyes as you managed to turn your face with small relief. 

"I uh just went fishing and lost my way from the pathway to town, could you please help?" It never hurt to attempt for anything but you had a moment of regret as the stretching silence that followed was less than helpful. 

His claws, or sharp nailed hands, shifted from your holding down your arms and now dug into the sides of your waist. Maybe he didn't intend for it to be painful but his weight wasn't one bit comfortable.

"Heh." 

Low and rusty, the beast, ops you meant, man let out a gut-busting laugh before removing his weight on top of you. Finally you could gasp for a lungful of air, for how long you laying there for the former freezing soil under you felt warm. 

The man hadn't spoken anything but It must be a good sign! 

"Oh thank you, sir!" Just as you gathered strength to push yourself up, a big hand forced you down hard. Admittedly it wasn't your first time dealing with an unexpected kissing to the ground. 

Thankfully none of the mud or dirt made in your mouth but why on earth did he? 

"Uh sir, weren't you going to let me go?"

A mightier growl escaped from him, showing teeth this time around, scaring you in place as your voice gave out. Again. 

In that second, you remembered this man was no friend, a practically nude stranger who roamed the woods, clearly not dressed to make any good impression. But at least you were given some breathing room, so he wasn't evil. You think. 

Another low growl, this one directly over your head. 

Staying silent became the best option. 

He must've sensed something changed as the sound of him sniffing you grew louder, stopped, and with an unimaginable swiftness you heard an audible long rip in your outfit. 

Chilly air instantly flooded the areas where fabric used to be, your skin felt sensitive. Your eyes flew wide, more opened and shocked, heart trembling at the noise.

RIPPPPPPP. 

Another long tear by no doubt his claws. Oh no no no, your poor overalls, your trousers! 

Your thoughts sizzled, face flushing when his claw-like hands ran down your exposed skin, like in search of something– 

The jingle of coins startled you. No, oh no, he was aiming for your money all along! 

In horror, you watched as he picked a few coin pieces out of your pouch and pocketed it somewhere, tossing your still full pouch away out of the moonlight.

Your fear changed to actual frustration. The nerve of him! To be robbing you in broad moonlight, why, you ought to teach him a lesson and give him a good head smacking. . . If only he didn't have his hand and knee pressing down on your back.

 .  .   .

Wait a second, you felt his knees shift near your legs. Then finally in your delayed mind, you came to a terrifying realization that the hard thing pushing against your lower back was most likely a gun– 

"Uh sir! Please let me get up, surely you're satisfied?" You spoke in a pleasing tone, trying to move a tiny bit under his body weight. Heart thumping.

 He had better be satisfied after taking a piece of your precious money. 

He didn't move off you. Still staying there on top of you, sniffing? Looking around the moonlit forest as if he had forgotten your existence being squashed beneath him. The cold ground painfully pebbling your nipples against the ground, evident of how long you had been in that darn position.

"H-Hey! Could you please get off–" Something hot and stiff poked at your waistline, long and harder than any boulder. He shifted his body or must've crouched over you as his gigantic shadow covers you whole.

The hard poking grew in size and so did the fear in your heart. Wait, how did you even feel that, this almost entirely nude man has no pockets to carry a gun, it didn't feel metallic in the slightest so what was poking you– Oh.

Oh dear no.

Don't look down, don't look down– 

"GRRR." Oh what was he growling about this time?! He already took your money, what else was he going after now. You stilled.

Then he began moving it, slowly rubbing his hardness in that one spot below your lower back. Like he didn't know what he was doing but you weren't going to correct him. 

Already uncomfortable just lying there being used as some scratching post for an animalistic man who robbed you not so long ago. . . Wait, in this position, a strong heat radiated from his lower body and grew closer and closer- 

He began rubbing himself on you, soft as if testing the waters at first than harder. Vigorously humping himself against your exposed buttocks, warming up the cool skin and pressing you into the earth further. 

Breathless and at a lost for words, you shivered while struggling to stay put. Heart wildly beating in your chest like it was screaming for help, so loud you'd think the entire forest could hear it. 

He wouldn’t hear it, he kept going, the hardness of his member cutting into you and you felt it.

A slimy slick spreading across your bottom, thick globs of heaviness sliding down and sending tingles in between your thighs. The tingles grew everywhere, and you became aware of a throbbing, not from the man’s flesh, but yours, as if your body was enjoying this terrible torment forced on you. 

Please let it end. 

He would slow down to your momentary relief, only to speed up at an alarming rate and burn you from behind, skin to skin. The smell of the earth and everything became a blur.

The rumour of the beast in the woods was no exaggeration, like an animal he wouldn’t stop pleasuring himself on you and all the while you silently prayed for it to end as it felt like hours had gone by like this. 

Kept going and going, barely any drop of sweat on him all the while you felt like you were being cooked from the inside out, sticky, clammy skin, and out of breath.

The persistent throbbing, hot and needy, inside of you couldn’t cease to stop craving. . . Touch, any kind of touch to relieve this ugly tension fully other than being kneaded into the ground. After this ordeal you were going to ask the pretty saloon lady for help, you won’t be able to last another night without some help.

Finally his rubbing slowed down, hardness swelling impossible hot against your ass and as if his throat was caught on a fishing hook- a deep grunt expelled from his chest and like dread, you felt it, almost a bucket load of slime spilled over you, your hips and down your thighs.

"Now could you move, please?!" That must've sounded more aggressive than you intended it to be but it worked, he crawled off you but the stickiness remained. Before you could muster up the energy to give him a piece of your mind, he slowly growed before bolting into the shadows. 

You were alone again, thank goodness.

Sluggishly, you rolled onto your side, flinching at the disgusting globs of slime slide off of you and pool underneath. Taking a moment to rest and mostly to catch your breath, lungfuls of air expanding your chest, feeling crumbs of soil stuck to your skin. The moon was blinding you by the second the longer you stayed there in the open. . . Exhaustion and the cold lulled you to almost dozing off but it was too dangerous out here, you slowly rose, grabbing your pouch of money, swaying like a brittle leaf in the wind as you walked on the path back town. 

.  .  . 

Maybe because you hadn’t been seen by them in a while, your friend instantly burst out of the inn and instantly spotted you, supporting your weight and walking you to the bathroom as you confided in them about the attack.

“How horrible! What a disgusting thief,” your friend spat while helping you change out of the torn pieces of fabric that used to look like an outfit as you quickly covered yourself, hiding the slime on your skin from being seen. They continued ranting, dissatisfaction written all over their face. “I’ve had the same experience weeks ago, it’s always the money that they want. I even told the sheriff about it but there’s been no news yet, shucks.” 

You nodded agreeing, not that you told them exactly all the details but enough to draw the conclusion that you’ve been unwillingly robbed. Worried about you, your friend promised to stay the night and went to visit the sheriff to give your account. The innkeeper was a trustworthy fellow who wouldn’t let any criminal in.

After a long, long much needed bath, the heat within your body eased down to a tolerable simmer, especially places where that beast’s release reached. Like where your holes twitched and- Ah, stop you shouldn’t be thinking of that! Huffing out a frustrated sigh, you stomped past a mirror into your room, not feeling brave enough to take a look at your no-doubt reddened face.

It felt like heaven being comforted by your dear friend and sleeping together in the same bed, your curiosity popped out again- wondering what became of that beastman- if just giving the sheriff a report was enough for his capture. Maybe you should do something, see if you could mark a spot in the woods where that man would visit, it would be a ton better than waiting around for good news. Right! 

Determination filled your blood and forced you onto your feet, heart thumping fast in almost excitement.

The moment you stepped out of the inn, it felt like a terrible idea. With no plan in mind, you snuck away from your snoring friend in bed and proceeded on the moonlit path towards the dreadful forest. 

You heard a hurt groan before you saw the source. A man who should’ve already fallen dead, the naked beast with a weapon deep in their forehead spilling blood. Black blood trailing down his rough face, dripping onto the ground. 

Witnessing something incomprehensible had you rooted to the spot, it was a scene out of those horror tales your gram would tell to get you and the other children to sleep, of a monster impossible to defeat. You should've never curiously followed a beast of the woods. Now you would never be able to escape his territory, entirely roamed by him. How could you even attempt to stop him from carrying you when you see not even a dagger lodged in his forehead deterred him from staying alive. 

Could you call him a beast? He sniffed the air like one.

Even beasts can be killed but not this man. 

He froze like he heard or smelt something.

What was far worse than a beast is an unkillable one, and worse than that- was a beast who has found its prey. You. 

It didn’t take long for you to sprint away out of instinct but it was too late, he had seen you, and with one long arm he caught you mid-air and carried you on one broad shoulder, whimpering and struggling to no avail. Deeper into the woods where you’d never be able to escape, where only wisps of light and fireflies lit the mornings and darkness reigned the rest of time to come. 

Deep below the neck of the woods, rumours of the dangerous beast have now changed due to the rare sightings of him not only alone- there was another one who stood by his side, a beast more humane looking yet scared and equally as nude. No one dared to overstay in the woods anymore, not wishing to join those monsters or become their next meal.

~~~~~~~~~~

[oonajaeadira]

For the Love of Fic: January 2

I've been doing my best to get caught up on a verrrrrrry long reading list. I know I sound like a broken record, but I'm a super slow reader (both in having the time to read and actual reading speed), and many of my favorite writers are bananas prolific, so it's easy for me to fall behind. My lists for the immediate future will probably be in character groupings, since that helps me organize and sift.

Today you're getting these lovelies in some fic I've been loving!

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EZRA

Cross My Heart by @brandyllyn This wins for my favorite of the week. How can it not, when it is from my Secret Santa???? Brandy softens our scoundrel but keeps his dangerous edge which I really love and appreciate. This could have been your regular Gift of the Magi fic, but it goes above and beyond. Not only do these lovers do what they can to give each other the world, they get to keep their spoils too. My heart would follow his anywhere. <3

untitled by @brandyllyn So after reading Cross My Heart, I decided to catch up on the remaining Ezra fic of Brandy's I haven't read yet and I was not disappointed, not at all. If Ezra came to me for advice on how to touch a lady, I don't think I'd be able to hold myself together this well...

When They Disentwine by @brandyllyn Holy BALLS this is hot like fire. A little misunderstanding leads to some really delicious punishment--read the warnings. Do I like a little danger in my Ez? Fk yeah I do. Soft and dangerous. This serves.

Hold Fast to Dreams by @brandyllyn Here it is, friends. One of the most beautifully written, soft, wonderful Ezra stories full of books and hope and healing and it's rendered me nearly speechless. I don't know what else to say except DANG.

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MAX PHILLIPS

Bangathon: Position: Reverse Cowgirl by @prolix-yuy Oh. My gods. I did not expect the soft. And yet. Here it is. And I am clawing for it. The moment he realizes he's actually into her kind of destroyed me. And I love that they're both in the same place...fkn hells. I swoon. This's the good stuff.

Negotiations by @prolix-yuy Another treat from LJ with a softer, yearning Max. Yes, he's got more ego than he should have, but it gets a swift, satisfying kick in the ass when he comes up against you. And do you ever give him a run for his money. A lovely little twist and sweet surprise.

A Rough (Pumpkin) Patch by @blueeyesatnight Can we all acknowledge how satisfying it is to witness Max get pouty when he doesn't get his way? And then twist things around to make his own fun? He may hate hay rides and pumpkin picking, but if you're the only two in the field, there may be more fun to be had....

I Wanna Do Bad Things With You by @chronically-ghosted I too would be tempted to tell Max to feed from me while we did the do. But you know what I am? A soft girl with a weakness for a build up. So imagine my joy when I found out this was a series in progress...one bite/drink/base at a time! And there are feelings? What! This is all my monsterfkr dreams with Max come true.

Polynesian Kiss by @morallyinept Listen. He's Max. He's your boss, and he's a vampire, and you're his PA. And blood donor. And bang buddy. And you just can't make it into work because your cramps are murder. Lucky you, you've just become a dispenser for Max's favorite treat, and he is here to FEAST. I love a man who loves his meal, and goodness does he ever enjoy you. TASTY.

Blood & Tinsel by @morallyinept Read the warnings on this one, because Max has his influence on and you're not submitting to his office booty call of your own free will. But you would if he'd let you. He doesn't know that. Yet. I love how Jett writes his reaction to that little tidbit....she's got this power-hungry jackass down.

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EDDIE THE VAMPIRE

An Act of Kindness pt. 2 by @missredherring Oh my gosh, Eddie's become a rescue pup! He has nowhere to go and nobody to look after him and he was so young when he turned...he's so confused. I just wanna comfort the boy. It's a good thing Bella's here to look after the little darling. (Guest appearance by one Jack Daniels with mentions of Max Phillips and a Liam easter egg.)

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WING PIT GUY

2023 Summer Kiss Prompt #3: Daniel (Wing Pit) - Distracting Kiss by @something-tofightfor Rachael's Wing Pit Guy is named Daniel and there's just something about him that's comfortable and goofy and total boyfriend material. (And he can clean a chicken wing bone in one smooth go.) You know that kissing him is gonna taste like sauce, and since he really loves his wings, you know that sauce is gonna be good. And real. And sweet. Just like this fic.

2023 Summer Kiss Prompt #11: Daniel Harper (Wing Pit) - A Kiss After Pain by @something-tofightfor It's finally time for a real first date, but before that, time to meet Daniel's dog. Raider is just a dog, doing dog things and doesn't mean to slip up. But istg if anyone here hurts Raider I will burn this site to the ground. There's a really sweet kiss in here and I am all for it. But I am having trouble deciding if I love Raider or Daniel more right now...

Smutsgiving 2023: Sweet Potato Casserole / Daniel Harper (Wing Pit Pedro) by @something-tofightfor First of all, marshmallow fluff is genius. Second of all, I don't care how sticky it is. I hate sticky and I would still allow supreme level boyfriend coded Daniel to cover me in it.

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TIM ROCKFORD

Rockford & Roan Pt. 5 by @littlemisspascal There's a number of reasons why I'm freaking out about this chapter. It's dark. There's a body. Tim is mystereously cold and Roan is being warned not to be taken advantage by his less than perfect tendancies. Doubt is strewn. Our Very Good Boy Banjo is a little doggie king. And then there's the special guest star, complete with cliffhanger...and I'm in LOVE.

Morning, His Place by @words-are-fireproof A slice of life, an early morning in the kitchen with Tim before he has to leave for work. And yet, in just a short piece, there's so much detail and background given between the characters, just in the little things they say and do, the pictures on the wall, the things Tim forgets. Simple and lovely.

2023 Summer Kiss Prompt #5: Tim Rockford - Jealous Kiss by @something-tofightfor Black Days Tim has a hold on me, and Rachael's given him a lot of groundedness and depth. He's not surprised by much, except when he surprises himself.

Smutsgiving 2023: Apple Pie / Tim Rockford by @something-tofightfor Another Black Days Tim, and this one has him apologizing to his lady for not being home for Thanksgiving by utilizing his desk when she comes to visit him. Yes plz.

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DIETER BRAVO

Star Boy by @ezrasbirdie I'm in love with the Star Boy and his Cool Girl so so much and this installment in the Starstruck Series was no exception. They have so much to navigate together and it can't be the easiest thing to date a movie star. But I'm willing to take the chance if he love love loved me this very much.

Misfire by @qveerthe0ry If it's something I'm fascinated and enamored of, it's a boy that comes untouched. Dunno why that's a kink of mine, maybe I just find it endearing when someone loses control. This one has no romantic or sexual connection to it though, and it's Dieter actually being embarrassed. I am not above smiling while watching that man be flustered and suffer a little.

Bravo, Dieter. by @juletheghoul If you haven't had a taste of Jules' writing (first of all, where have you been), then this is as good a place as any to start. Pretty writing, smooth Dieter, make up sex ahoy, and all the neck nibbles you can't keep your cool over....

Paint Me Like One of Your French Girls by @missredherring While there's some verbal teasing, this is a working relationship, but a good one. I mean, I don't know if I'm in the right crotchspace to let Dieter paint my naked body and be cool about it, but if I was, I would hope it would be as endearing as this.

Dress Me Up and Call Me Pretty by @morallyinept This is one of the hottest things I have ever read. Dieter is an absolute mess, his own worst enemy, and reader is an angel who gives him everything he needs--and discovers she likes it too. The LOVE. The kink. The marathon. The care. Just go. Go now and get your strap on.

Run Over By A Reindeer... by @blueeyesatnight Blue has such a good grip on Dieter and I love his perfect balance of shithead horny actor and genuinely nice horny guy. I laughed out loud at this multiple times too, because Blue's also good at Dieter's dipshit humor. This is definitely one of my favorites this season.

Smutsgiving 2023: Stuffing / Dieter Bravo by @something-tofightfor This is Dieter from Rachael's Locked Down series and I have a real soft spot for these two...and for this particular take on Dieter. He's someone who surprises you constantly, showing a disaster to the world while being actually put together underneath. Stuffing shows up in more ways than one here. As does mention of a raccoon....

2023 Summer Kiss Prompt #10: Dieter Bravo - A Kiss While Baking by @something-tofightfor This one is sweet in every sense of the word. Brownies, kisses, heartfelt feelings, a peek at a possible future... I love Locked Down Dieter so much and it's nice to see him domestic and happy.

Touch Me Touch Me Touch Me by @missredherring It's subby D time! This time with a free use kink and some audio erotica built in! At first I was a little sorry for our needy boy, but man, does he get it in the end....and how.

.

[tackytigerfic]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you so much for the tag @lettersbyelise. loved reading yours here!

How many works do you have on ao3?

63 under my tacky account and I think 2 under my brasstacks account.

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

On my tacky account: 358,302.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Only HP so far (plus, inexplicably, one Witcher fic even though i wasn't even really into the show let alone in the fandom). I have an idea for a Steve x Eddie fic (stranger things) and an F1 fic (i don't know the fandom or the real life people at all but I am obsessed with the writing of @boxboxlewis and have, fatally, had An Idea for a galex fic as a result. pray for tacky, i can't afford another hyperfixation, the one i have is bad enough). but they will probably never get written, alas. i barely get my drarry stuff done!

4.. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I never check my stats - i don't have them blocked or anything, it just doesn't occur to me. I also think it's a really unhelpful way of judging the merits of a fic. Fandom is supposed to be fun, and a fic can be great in many different ways for many different people, and none of that can accurately be conveyed by how many hearts people leave. That said, I appreciate every reader i get so much - I never ever imagined people would read my fics so each person who does gets a whole lotta love from me. However for the purposes of this ask i did go into my stats section to have a look and here we go, it might be a surprising one as i suspect Modern Love is probably my most recced:

If It Takes All Night: quick oneshot i wrote for Lock Down Fest, forced bonding, quidditch buddies, friends to lovers.

A Lick and a Promise: My first long fic, a case fic involving an auror/unspeakable team who go undercover as Hogwarts professors to solve a crime at the school. oh and they also happen to be fuckbuddies already.

Modern Love: My own favourite, also my longest fic (so far, mwahaha). Muggle world Draco, depressed Harry learns to love himself and falls in love with Draco along the way.

Through the Window, Clear Skies: 1.4k of love story. so fond of this one as it's the first fic i wrote where i felt like i had finally clicked stylistically. it was the start of me learning to write in my own style rather than trying to emulate the fics i loved to read.

And One to Play: Gosh, i actually do not really remember what this is about. auror partners? Harry loves clothes in this one i remember. And it's about weather magic. I was so proud of this one when i wrote it and really learned a lot at the start of my fic writing journey.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Just like Elise, I would love to but I fell massively behind after Modern Love posted and never got my momentum back. I am currently about 3 years behind though i do try to reply whenever i can. i absolutely treasure comments and i really miss interacting with readers. at the moment it's a choice between writing new stuff and replying to comments. i also never ever mind when an author doesn't reply to my comments so i figure people will allow me the same grace.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Some people might say it's Last Offices as that's MCD, but my own choice would be The Quiver of a Heartstring because of the sheer hopelessness of it. Depends on your particular flavour of angst i think.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my fics are cheerful, I suppose Modern Love as there are two follow up fics so you get to see them happy in both of those, as well as in the epilogue?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not much that anyone tells me about! Someone did feature one of my fics (ironically, the one with most kudos) on some horrible mean-spirited blog about crap mary-sues, which was probably the most out-and-out horrid thing i've come across. i wasn't upset by it, but i did think it was a surprisingly shitty thing to do about anyone's fics! I also had someone leave me very very long comments on one of my fics asking me to explain why I made Harry so mean, and then went on reddit and posted some long posts about the same thing (naming the fics they had a problem with, including mine). bizarre! i have never had out and out hate comments, thankfully. just the usual WELL ACKSHULLY type "concrit" that really just means "i didn't like how you did this, so i'm going to let you know in detail about it". to which i say, off you fuck, buddy, and learn some self-awareness. and brush up on your grasp of fandom etiquette while you're at it.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes i do, not necessarily all the time and sometimes it's more M or T rated hints. I read fic for the romance and sex is part of that. and i write what i want to read.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

No i don't, though after chats with my resident F1 expert @sweet-s0rr0w I wondered about writing a racing AU where one of them crashes and ends up in a fiery inferno but walks out of it. only they've come back wrong.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of, i would absolutely hate that though.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

earlier fics yes, but now i ask that people not translate my fics. this is because if i need to delete all my works off AO3 at any point, i would prefer to have them all in one place to scrub them. i know it doesn't work like that but it's just one of those irrational worries i have and it gives me the illusion of control!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! Body Electric with @shealwaysreads which is a Drarry bodyswap. And Dreaming Skies with @sweet-s0rr0w which was the Dron dragon-tamer getting together fic of my dreams. love a collab, what a privilege to get to work with such talented people!

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Drarry absolutely 100% no questions asked. I've never had another ship and never will. my brain just isn't made that way. it's a pain but it is what it is.

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

None, i have quite a few WIPs but I feel like I could go back to any of them at some point. I'd never say never on a fic tbh. if i started writing it, i had a reason. some WIPs i have from years back are: quidditch fic where Draco buys the team Harry plays for, Master of Death Harry fic where he is reckless after the war and Draco dies due to trying to keep up with him, and Harry has to go get him back... umm political fic about a corrupt Ministry where Dudley has a magical baby and Harry and Draco take the kiddo (and Dudley!) and go on the run. i probably have more that i've forgotten.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Not being disingenuous but it's harder for me to appreciate my strengths as I tend to be too immersed in my own writing to have any distance. I think maybe, going by what people have said, I am able to capture a mood? And i write love in a loving way.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

From my own perspective, my weaknesses are being too slow (it takes me ages to write anything), inability to focus for long, and not being a good plotter.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Yeah, I think that's fine! i'm not sure what this question refers to tbh 🤔😂 I mean, if it works in the story then it works. I have never done it myself other than in Our Little Life which is a multiverse fic where Harry gets visions of multiple other lives with Draco through space and time. In it they speak Middle English, Latin, Irish... i think that's all?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter. i actually wrote an angsty Draco x Ron oneshot YEARS ago (it was called Take This Longing and i went by perfidia back then and i can see the link on the wayback machine but the fic itself is lost sadly.. or actually that might be a good thing) but then I never wrote anything at all ever again until i started writing fic in 2019. i have never been in another fandom and i don't think i ever will. i don't know why i've imprinted so hard on these two idiots but here we are. I have also started writing original work in recent years, again not something i ever imagined doing but it's lovely and satisfying in different ways to the way fic writing is! so i feel very lucky tbh.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Probably Modern Love. It is exactly the fic i wanted it to be, and people who read it seem to get what I wanted to give. and you can't say fairer than that.

Tagging @blamebrampton @boxboxlewis @citrusses @epitomereally @maesterchill @mintawasalreadytaken @porcelainheart3 @shealwaysreads @skeptiquewrites @sweet-s0rr0w @teacup-tai if you fancy it! and anyone who wants to play.

[telomeke-bbs]

OUR SKYY 2 x BAD BUDDY x A TALE OF THOUSAND STARS – A REVIEW AND PARTIAL ANALYSIS

Yes, I'm well aware that it's been more than two weeks since the Our Skyy 2 x Bad Buddy x A Tale of Thousand Stars 4-ep closer for OS2 aired, and I'm far behind the bandwagon in posting this.

Thing is, I've had to take some time to gather my garbled thoughts on how I feel about the mini-series, and I have many. Also, the longer I dawdle, the more others have posted similar musings, and I then have to edit down my own write-up to avoid repeating stuff that others more knowledgeable and eloquent than I have already made public.

This is like my fourth or fifth re-write, and I've already chucked so much aside. But now the ideas jangling in my head seem a bit more coherent, and maybe it's time to solidify them in the written word.

I think part of the block I was facing had to do with the fact that I was expecting the Bad Buddy portions of OS2 x BBS x ATOTS to be doing more than they did, and when they didn't I was left a little directionless. This is not to say I didn't enjoy the episodes though; I most certainly did. How great was it to see Pat and Pran back in action again? 😍 Even though their dynamic and storyline weren't as deeply resonating as what we saw in the original Bad Buddy, they still managed to charm me no end.

While I certainly wanted more information regarding Pat and Pran's relationship (and we did get to see a tiny bit), what I'd really been hoping for was more of the intellectual gamery that had been so carefully interwoven into the original BBS, that was densely layered with metaphor, allegory and messaging. It was also rich with linguistic wordplay and cultural content, and I was on the lookout for more of the same in OS2 the moment Pat and Pran appeared. But these were mostly missing, even though they delivered callbacks and charisma in spades.

It was only upon re-watching that a number of realizations crystallized for me, chief of which was the fact that I'd been looking for things in the wrong place. The subtextual (and even metatextual) cleverness I was expecting actually was there, but it had been woven more into the ATOTS portions instead. And while I like the original ATOTS, it didn't inspire in me the same kind of obsessive love that Bad Buddy had done, so I have never gone in for a re-watch or examined it in greater detail, and thus wasn't paying as much attention to the ATOTS portions of OS2.

More fool me. No wonder my first watch of OS2 x BBS x ATOTS missed what it did, because I kind of sped through Phupha and Tian's story, when the mini-series was leaning more on ATOTS than BBS to telegraph its messaging.

I really shouldn't have been surprised. We know that the creators of Bad Buddy (Director Aof mostly, but Ohm and Nanon were in on it too) viewed BBS as having told all that needed to be told of PatPran’s story, and this was signified by the apartment door closing on the happy couple’s continued rough-housing at the end of Ep.12.

(above) BBS Ep.12 [4/4] 18.22 and 18.23 – the door closes on Pat and Pran's story (dunno who was swinging it shut though – Nong Nao maybe? 😂)

And this is why OS2 x BBS didn’t show us events post-Ep.12, but chose instead to position the mini-series during the timeskip between Episodes 11 and 12.

So when BBS became the success it did, pressure must have mounted on all sides but especially from the higher-ups to squeeze out a sequel somehow, because it would undoubtedly be a money-spinner. But what more is there to spin out when you, the maker, are convinced that not only is the whole yarn already spun and done, the tapestry you wove from it is pretty much complete as well?

I will go so far as to say I think OS2 x BBS x ATOTS was Director Aof’s escape hatch – instead of trying to spin out more from nothing, he shone a spotlight on a previously unseen section of his opus (letting management and fans know we would be getting Pat and Pran back, but then showing us their timeskip rather than events beyond Ep.12). And a short while later he segued artfully into a related piece, wrangling PatPran into a crossover with ATOTS that would have its message revolve a lot more around PhuTian’s story instead. I'm sure we find out more about Phupha and Tian's relationship too, but I'm not going to go into it in any detail because I'm not as au fait with their backstory as I feel I am with Pat and Pran's; I'm pretty sure though that their story in OS2 was the primary vessel for deeper messaging.

And I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one to pick up on Director Aof making ATOTS do the heavier lifting – see @wen-kexing-apologist’s write-ups linked here and here.

To my mind, Director Aof's bait-and-switch (kind of a hallmark with him) was also signaled at the end of OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.1 [4/4], when Pran had to hike up to Pha Pun Dao just as Tian had done in the original ATOTS.

(above) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.1 [4/4] 10.28

Pran found it as much of a physical ordeal as Tian did, and the parallel with Tian's trajectory is unmistakable (while also being oddly illogical, since Pran should still be pretty fit as an ex-rugby player while Tian is a heart transplant recipient 🤷‍♂️).

But in service of the narrative, when an exhausted Pran finally reaches his destination – it’s the waiting Phupha who faints, not Pran-as-Tian. (In the original ATOTS, it was Tian who fainted at the end of the long hike up to PPD and Phupha was the one who caught him.)

(above) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.1 [4/4] 11.28

For me, this signals that a switch-up has happened, and Phupha's story has somehow taken up continuity from Pran's (and we do see him learning from their similar experiences when they talk in the forest in Ep.3). More than just a callback to ATOTS, it also represents the moment when the red thread of the narrative, the coursing of the prana or qi, symbolically transfers from PatPran's storyline to PhuTian's.

So, summarizing the structure of this four-ep mini-series:

Ep.1 was basically a set-up to get PatPran up to the mountains, padded out with lots of gleeful fanservice moments for BBS fans (not that I'm complaining! 💖);

Ep.2 was devoted to setting out the main subject matter at hand and establishing the framework within which it would be discussed (PhuTian’s relationship, juxtaposed against PatPran’s);

Ep.3 – the jungle jaunt – introduced external conflict as the tool by which the subject could be dissected under scrutiny; and

Ep.4 was of course the resolution, drawing matters to their natural conclusion.

And with regard to Bad Buddy, what we see in OS2’s BBS portions is really a kind of compromise. It’s not a sequel to BBS by a longshot, but mostly a flourish of fanservice instead (hence the generous gifting of callbacks and re-creations of iconic moments from BBS, especially in Ep.1 of the four-parter – some scenes, like the one starting at Ep.1 [1I4] 8.31, consisted almost entirely of callbacks).

(above) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.1 [1I4] 8.47

This is not to say we don't see anything at all with regard to growth though. By situating PatPran's storyline during the timeskip between the original BBS Episodes 11 and 12, we were effectively allowed a glimpse into the state and development of their relationship sometime after the heady hormonal rush of their honeymoon period in Ep.11, and before its relative maturity in Ep.12, and there were some choice moments on display.

OS2 called this out at Ep.2 [2/4] 10.29, when Pat asked "Since we’re here in the North, should we make it our honeymoon trip?", which Pran then dismisses with a reminder of their task at hand (getting PhuTian's permission for his play).

(above) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.2 [2/4] 10.51

The honeymoon reference was a callback to BBS Ep.11, in which Pat was wanting to live indefinitely in a sort-of forever honeymoon by the sea (that even he knew was only illusory). Pran's dismissal of Pat's suggestion in OS2 was a reminder that their honeymoon period was over, and it was time for them to be dealing with the growing pains that every couple faces on their journey to a stable pairing.

What wasn't addressed in the original BBS is that PatPran's natural propensity to draw each other into conflict could not have been healthy for their longer-term relationship post-honeymoon, unless they found a way to corral the constant infighting and invent a set of gentlemen's rules that would prevent damage to their bond.

(above) BBS Ep.5 [1I4] 3.19

And I think this is part of what OS2 was trying to show us (however briefly): Pat and Pran moving toward finding a balance between loving each other and punching each other up (emotionally), despite conflict and rivalry paradoxically being the age-old rockbed of their relationship.

The following are some of the relationship dynamics that they explored in OS2:

Transitioning from an individual mindset to a couple-based one (which was highlighted by Pran's solo expedition to the mountains, before Pat managed to catch up);

Adapting to each other's personal styles (Pran's is spikier, and Pat's more embracing);

Learning about give and take, and looking for win-win outcomes rather than keeping score (in OS2, this was illustrated by how their earlier duels – like who gets the auditorium, who gets the HighTem sponsorship – were framed as zero-sum win-lose situations, where a win for one would mean a loss for the other; it was also given a nod in Pran's talk with Phupha at Ep.3 [4/4] 1.19 regarding his insecurities about who gives more in a relationship).

There are possibly others, but these are just the ones I could suss out with my one haphazard re-watch, and I'm not ready to go looking for them. 🤷‍♂️

Now I was originally going to go into these in detail, but I realize it's not what interests me the most about OS2 x BBS x ATOTS, nor do I think OS2 adequately dealt with these (and/or other) relationship issues between PatPran during the mini-series itself (as in, we aren't shown enough of Pat and Pran working together on detangling the knots in their bond for any suggested resolution at the end of the fourth episode to feel logical and satisfying).

It seems almost as though OS2 x BBS x ATOTS was expecting us to believe that PatPran's Ep.3 trial by forest (which they also went through mostly apart from each other) was enough to be some magically purifying crucible, imparting wisdom via its sufferance.

(above left) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.3 [1I4] 15.16 – Tian, Pran and Kampung lost in the forest; (above right) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.3 [1I4] 17.46 – Pat and Phupha on their wilderness search

We do know that PatPran's journey to arrive at a steady-state couplehood will continue unseen beyond OS2 and that they eventually end up on rock-solid footing, with a set of mutually-agreed ground rules for engagement that is acknowledged and respected, because it's obviously what they have in place by the time we see them in BBS Ep.12 (so much so that their relationship could withstand the difficulties of a long-distance commitment after Pran moves to Singapore).

(above) BBS Ep.12 [3I4] 8.15

I'm willing to accept this because I think OS2 x BBS x ATOTS was not meant to be a PatPran vehicle in the main, and so I will take whatever crumbs are on offer and view their forest ordeal as more metaphor than real-time depiction of their actual process to ground their relationship in greater maturity. (If you'd like to look at PatPran's learning track more in detail however, I can point you to the ever-incisive @miscellar's breakdowns linked here, here and here. 🤩👍)

But what I find really interesting about OS2 x BBS x ATOTS is when PhuTian's storyline gets drawn into the mix – and it happens much earlier than you would think on first watch.

One part of OS2 x BBS x ATOTS that stood out for me was all the discourse around the Engineering play, because quite frankly it felt incongruously spotlighted. First of all, why Snow White? And why an entire scene of Pran demonstrating the art of theater to Pat backstage? I now believe Director Aof was doing this to call attention to some underlying significance.

(above) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.1 [2/4] 9.15

Tumblr user @ranchthoughts has very astutely pointed out that the story of Snow White has many parallels with the original ATOTS (e.g., the gallant woodsman; the fragile, privileged damsel who falls in a swoon; the journey through the forest; the misappropriated heart that doubles as proof of good faith – see these links here, here and here for more 🤩👍).

(above) An illustration of the seven dwarfs finding Snow White by Franz Jüttner, from Sneewittchen (1905)

So by bringing up Snow White, Director Aof was already slyly alluding to PhuTian in OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.1 [2/4].

Although it is not a strict retelling of the fairytale, I think that OS2 x BBS x ATOTS also contains elements of Snow White:

Another character (Phupha) swoons into unconsciousness (like Snow White did after biting the poisoned apple);

There is also a journey through the wilderness (mirroring Snow White's abandonment in the woods and finding her way to the dwarf house);

A cast of supporting characters parallels the seven dwarfs (Kampung is one, and this is perhaps why they dressed him in oversized windbreakers, playing with his proportions to make him seem more dwarf-like; this is also possibly why Pat jokingly mentions Korn playing one of the dwarfs in the Engineering play at Ep.1 [1I4] 13.26 – Drake may have been originally envisioned as part of the cast, in character as Rang, up in the mountains);

The magic mirror, that always tells the truth, is actually PatPran, in whom PhuTian see their own relationship problems reflected, and whose truths help them to better their own dynamic (see Phupha's comments at Ep.4 [3I4] 0.53 and 1.05 – "It has to be you two who play the parts" and "No one gets us better than these two" as well as PhuTian's more light-hearted callbacks to PatPran's cheekier moments, e.g., at Ep.4 [2/4] 1.25 and 1.59).

But it's really Pat and Pran's interaction backstage at Ep.1 [2/4] 8.54 that both illuminates and foreshadows some bigger themes to come in OS2 x BBS x ATOTS (when Pran demonstrates how a simple bench can transform onstage, depending on how you frame it for the audience via the narrative).

(above left) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.1 [2/4] 10.12 – Pran shows Pat how a bench can be a dining table; (above right) BBS Ep.3 [3I4] 9.01 – Pat shows Pran how roleplay can spark a creative bus stop design

On the surface level it's a parallel and callback to PatPran's roleplay at BBS Ep.3 [3I4] 8.38 (although flipping the roles with Pran turning educator doesn't quite gel, given that Pat was fully aware of how to use the power of imagination at the bus-stop).

It's also a tip of the hat to theater legend Peter Brook who famously said "I can take any empty space and call it a bare stage. A man walks across this empty space whilst someone else is watching him, and this is all that is needed for an act of theatre to be engaged", which invokes the same kind of metamorphic magic that turns Pran's bench into a mirror, a dwarf dining table and a glass coffin. (Peter Brook also passed away just a few months before the Our Skyy 2 trailer aired, which lends a poignancy and weight to this moment.)

(above left) Theater legend Peter Brook; (above right) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.1 [2/4] 11.03 – PatPran roleplay Snow White and the glass coffin

The bench as glass coffin is also a metaphor for the constraints that PatPran must face living their relationship in a glass closet – open to view yet limited on all sides by expectations (remembering that they've officially broken up but still have to interact in public on school matters).

And of course it's unmissable that both Snow White's glass coffin and PatPran's relationship are a metaphor for queer lives in the closet. (PatPran leaning in for a kiss on that bench only to be interrupted by a uniformed security guard, is also a tongue-in-cheek reminder about how higher authorities can and do impinge on the freedom of queer people to love freely.)

However, in the context of BL and of Our Skyy 2 as a BL anthology, OS2 x BBS x ATOTS is also a metatextual comment on the telling of queer love stories in the media. The entire four-parter can be seen as a metaphor (or more correctly, an allegory) regarding the commodification of LGBTQ+ love by the BL industry itself, if you will, as well as some of the issues this stirs up.

In OS2 we have:

PatPran turning PhuTian's love story into a drama for public consumption;

(above) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.4 [3I4] 7.00

The emphasis placed on consent for that story to be used (in the words of Ajahn Pichai at Ep.1 [2/4] 12.15, 12.31 and 12.38, and PhuTian's exchange at Ep.2 [1I4] 16.30) and the comment that partial consent is not enough (from Pran at Ep.2 [1I4] 10.18 and 20.22);

(top) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.1 [2/4] 12.38; (middle) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.2 [1I4] 16.32; (bottom) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.2 [1I4] 20.22

Phupha's objection to being portrayed as a one-dimensional love interest, reduced to only his romanticized and/or sexualized self (Ep.2 [1I4] 18.35), instead of being seen as a fully-realized human being in his own right (Ep.2 [1I4] 18.25);

(top) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.2 [1I4] 18.35; (bottom) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.2 [1I4] 18.25

Pran detecting Phupha's self-doubt and commenting at Ep.3 [4/4] 0.58: "Why do I feel like you’re just insecure and not sure if you’re good enough to tell anyone that story?";

(above) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.3 [4/4] 0.58

Phupha finally giving permission for PatPran to dramatize his and Tian's story, with the proviso that Tian and he be played by PatPran themselves (Ep.4 [3I4] 0.48).

(above) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.4 [3I4] 0.48

The parallels with the BL industry are striking. (I'm sticking with BL as the established industry here, but you could perhaps apply the same points to the nascent GL as well.) No disrespect to allies, but Director Aof is pointedly saying the following:

Queer love stories are constantly being dramatized in Thai media (by cishet-dominated parties and largely for cishet consumption) – but this is often done without the LGBTQ+ community having much say, let alone any consent, in the matter;

The commodification of queer love (especially in the BL industry) has resulted in most productions forefronting the romantic and/or sexual aspects of the narrative (understandable, because these are romance-driven), but this also has the unfortunate result of reducing the queer characters to pretty vessels for love stories, deified and/or fetishized, and with limited room for more to be said about other aspects of their queer lives;

Perhaps because of discrimination, people might still be carrying the idea in their heads that queer stories are somehow less valid than the cishet ones that dominate media (remembering how SOTUS had to break the mold for BL, and InkPa for GL) – and the call sometimes even comes from inside the house, when queer people feel that their stories may somehow be unsuitable for mainstream channels (as echoed by Phupha's insecurity, called out by Pran at Ep.3 [4/4] 0.58).

Not only are queer stories that exist beyond the romantic/sexual dimension worthy of being told in a more expansive arena (Pran's Architecture play, and its reception), the LGBTQ+ community should be mindful when control of how these stories are told and who gets to tell them is not in its hands (echoed by "neutral" Ajahn Pichai's reminder about consent, and Phupha's insistence on having a trusted couple incarnate his and Tian's story).

But remembering Director Aof's leanings toward LGBTQ+ activism in his work, it's also possible to read the drama in OS2 x BBS x ATOTS as an allegory itself for real-life situations, beyond this BL anthology's metatextual comment on the BL industry. I think that this is the ultimate message with PhuTian's story being the finale for Our Skyy 2 (landing not coincidentally during Pride Month and all).

With the metaphors in Pran's theater class backstage and the BL allegory as a launchpad, OS2 x BBS x ATOTS (and Ep.4 especially) is also allegory for queer life in a broader context:

In wider society, the narrative for queer lives has for so long been dominated by the cishet majority and dictated by it (just as the queer romances in BL have had to respond to cishet impulses).

So many queer people have to live their lives with varying degrees of (in)visibility, subject to unseen but still suffocating constraints (Snow White's glass coffin, standing in for the proverbial closet).

Queer lives often take on a performative public face and people have to pretend to be less than their whole truth (Pran's bench, actually so much more than meets the eye).

Queer individuals' self-worth and self-acceptance are influenced by the views of those outside the community, whether coming from family or larger society (Phupha's insecurity, called out by Pran at Ep.3 [4/4] 0.58).

Remembering how Heart in Director Aof's recent (and also mega-important) work Moonlight Chicken was sequestered away by his parents because he was different (i.e., he was a Heart who did not fit what they perceived as "normal"), there is also a parallel in OS2 with Tian whose heart is one step removed from what is considered the norm by wider society (being a transplant from Torfun in ATOTS).

(above) Moonlight Chicken Ep.5 [4/4] 12.23 – Heart weeps in silence at his isolation

Tian's heart often causes him pain, and he is often enfeebled or constrained by it, but even so he loves with his heart just as hard as the next guy (maybe even more, seen not just in his relationship with Phupha but also in his compassion for his students and especially the lost Kampung).

(above) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.3 [3I4] 2.57

We are shown that Tian is not willing to be held back by his difference, and expects to live his life to the fullest. It's just that he needs to live his life a little differently, and indeed he thrives when he is given the right circumstances (controlled exertion, and the right sustenance/medication) and freedom to do so. And all this is of course a metaphor for queer people, whose hearts also love differently from the cishet majority's, and who are simply asking for the freedom and space to live their best lives.

So in a sense – just as PatPran were a magic mirror to PhuTian – OS2 x BBS x ATOTS is also Snow White's magic mirror held up to its audience, reflecting truths about queer life back to all who are watching.

But as is typical of Director Aof's work, Our Skyy 2 also suffuses its message with hope, so it's not all hard truths, raw and unvarnished. The series draws to a close on an uplifting note, and as an allegory it hails on behalf of the queer community the hope of a positive future that is presented as not only attainable, but also deserved.

Homophobia is not shown to exist in this universe (as was the case with BBS and also ATOTS). So when Phupha meets up with Tian in Bangkok, they're surrounded by a supportive network of family, friends and allies who were working together to make Phupha's attendance at Tian's birthday celebration a reality.

(top) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.4 [4/4] 3.06 – Tian's birthday celebration with his parents, best friend Tul and surprise guest Phupha; (bottom) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.4 [4/4] 4.32 – Tian's parents give Phupha their blessing to marry Tian

Tian's parents also giving joyful, proud and formal blessing to their union, as well as Tul and Yod's cheerful assistance, all signal the aspirational message that a better, more accepting world is possible for the LGBTQ+ community.

And of course that super-romantic wedding proposal caps it all off:

(top) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.4 [4/4] 8.46 – Phupha kisses Tian's hand after placing the engagement ring on his finger; (bottom) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.4 [4/4] 12.16 – Phupha and Tian's post-engagement kiss by the pool

But it's not just trumpeting support for marriage equality, the cause célèbre that BL series have been championing over the past few years. Noting that Thailand is expected to legalize LGBTQ+ marriage in the coming weeks or months, queer people in the country are now daring to look to the future with much more hope in their hearts. 💖

With this as the context, Phupha and Tian's engagement in the present, with matrimonial union set for the future, can also be seen as symbolizing the hope of even better days to come – when members of the queer community will finally be afforded equal rights in all respects. And I think this has given Our Skyy 2's last episode a rainbow flourish truly worthy of Pride Month 2023. 😍

‌ P.S. Not to take away from the importance of Director Aof's vision, but this is a Bad Buddy blog after all, so I will close this write-up with a bit of a rewind back to PatPran. We didn't get to see a whole lot of information regarding their relationship growth in the four episodes of OS2 x BBS x ATOTS, but there is an Easter Egg hiding within the layers near the end. One of the issues that Pat and Pran had to deal with as a new-ish couple was how to move away from scorekeeping in their constant, competitive jostling. Their first few contests that we saw in OS2 x BBS x ATOTS were win-lose ones ("if you get it, it means that I won't", e.g., the use of the auditorium and the HighTem sponsorship), and that kind of dynamic would only have been corrosive for their couplehood in the longer term. What we see in OS2 x BBS x ATOTS is that in the end they somehow arrive at a win-win instead (just as their Ep.6 Beachside Bet in Bad Buddy sidestepped a black-and-white win-lose outcome and gave them both the winner's prize of being in love). I don't have proof that it's intentional, but Director Aof and his team are certainly clever enough to have planned it to be so. For if ATOTS really is a version of Snow White, both of them got to stage their plays (and share in the sponsorship) since Pran's play (ATOTS) is also Pat's play (Snow White). OS2 x BBS x ATOTS winks at this with Pat – an Engine boy – playing Snow White/Tian, and by showing Wai and Korn in cahoots backstage (why should Engineering student Korn be helping with the Archi play anyway?). 😍

(above) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.4 [3I4] 6.55 And then PatPran are of course forced to kiss onstage (celebrating their union in more ways than one).

(above) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.4 [3I4] 7.13 Another sly little wink from OS2, they're lovers pretending to be enemies pretending to be lovers, which in a way is also emblematic of OS2 x BBS x ATOTS's deeper message, told matryoshka-style with layers of allegorical meaning. 💖

‌

[natureismynature]

As I said, I've written the the duo/trio/group names down idgwjsy this is not all of it since idk some and I refuse to acknowledge MANY. (Will be updating constantly methinks)

I'm sorry for everyone who finds duo/trio/group names cringe and want them to end, but this is literally a way for me to organize stuff and make it easier for me. Yeah they're annoying sometimes, but duo names help me find art/analysis/general information about a friendship in the server without having to search up individual names. Because everyone has stuff other than that one specific friendship.

Like, if I search up 'Foolish Gamers' hoping to find some good Castleduo content, I will NOT find it easily. If I search up 'Foolish Gamers and Cellbit' I will only see stuff about them individually and not together. What I'm saying is, duo names are there (at least for me) for accessibility. And I don't WANT to combine their names because that's what fandoms usually do for romantic ships, which duo names are decidedly NOT.

But I do agree that the fandom should stop naming duos by the players' first random interaction. Stressduo? Really? Stop it, I BEG. At least think of something creative ToT

Anyway, enough ranting and rambles, duo/trio/group names below the cut!

Cucurucho Buddies - Jaiden and Foolish (They named themselves, it's because they both like Cucurucho despite it being evil)

Castleduo - Cellbit and Foolish (They built a castle together and bonded during it)

Landduo - BBH and Foolish (They fought over land during dsmp)

The Jaidens - BBH, Foolish, Cellbit, and Jaiden (They went on an adventure together to complete Jaiden's quest)

Guapoduo - Roier and Cellbit (They call each other Guapito and Gatinho respectively and they're both handsome… ig)

Builderduo - Vegetta and Foolish (They are both amazing builders)

Granduo - Foolish and Richarlyson (They are grandma and grandson <3)

Silly Squad - Foolish, Pac, Mike, and Felps (They are all cartoon characters, very silly people together)

Sweetduo - Etoiles and BBH (They are two of the sweetest people in the server)

Drama Trio - BBH, Forever, and Baghera (They are three dramatic bitches, especially with each other)

Hideduo - Pac and Fit (They formed a truly meaningful bond during hide and seek)

Smoothduo - Pac and Felps (I honestly don't know, they're both smooth af??)

Mustard Duo/Silly Duo - Felps and Foolish (They are very silly, both are attached to Mr. Mustard)

Securityduo - Foolish and Etoiles (They are security guard + client. Always and forever)

Insaneduo - Forever and Cellbit (They have both called each other insane at some point or another)

Crazyduo - Forever and Quackity (They're both crazy when together)

Chaosduo - Cellbit and Quackity (They cause chaos when together) 

Loansharkduo/Buffduo - Foolish and Quackity (They were both part of Las Nevadas during dsmp and the other one is because Foosh is buff and there's a clip somewhere of a buff guy everyone thought was Quackity)

Theory Bros - BBH, Foolish, and Maximus (They were the three who originally theorized about the Island)

Furryduo - Aypierre and Max (They started the Furry club together)

Birdduo - Baghera and Jaiden (They are both birbs)

Goldfishduo - Baghera and Foolish (Foolish canonized Baghera's 1% part fish)

Roseduo/Federationduo - Jaiden and Cellbit (Jaiden let Cellbit visit Bobby Fields and both have strong ties with the Federation)

Sunsetduo/Atardecerduo/Parrotduo - Jaiden and Roier (They often watch the sunset together to remember Bobby & they often parrot each other)

Domingoduo - Leo and Chayanne (They are the two eggs who almost always gets to sunday before they finish tasks)

Musicduo - Wilbur and Tallulah (They are both musically talented)

Deathduo - Philza and Missa (They are both death associated)

Late Night Trio - Dapper, Richas, and Pomme (They are often online during the graveyard stream shift)

Theoryduo - BBH and Max (They were the two first people who started theorizing)

Sounboardduo/Propellerduo - Baghera and Max (They kept using soundboards at each other for SO long & both Baghera and Maximus' late son Trump has/had propeller hats)

Gossipduo - Cellbit and BBH (They like to gossip with each other)

Dappleduo - Dapper and Pomme (They are dapper and apple)

Starduo - Foolish and Tina (They had a Stardew Valley world together and hung out a lot <3)

Favela Five - Felps, Cellbit, Forever, Pac e Mike (They created the Favela together and are the five Brazilian players in the server)

The Mikus - Jaiden and Richarlyson (They named themselves, they both love Hatsune Miku)

Traitor Trio/Federation Trio- Jaiden, Cellbit, and Foolish (They were all perceived as traitors at some point in their lives, no they are not traitors as far as we know & they were the first three people to get jobs from the Feds)

Dapduo - Slimecicle and Quackity (There was a time they kept saying "Dap me up" at each other, not sure lmfao)

Demonduo - BBH and Ironmouse (They are both demons)

Immortal Pen Pals - Foolish and Philza (They interacted mostly through game chat and barely saw each other during dsmp)

Bubbleduo (I think??)- Jaiden and Cucurucho (They like their bubbles)

Tntduo - Wilbur and Quackity (Their characters during dsmp were very very fond and notorious for tnt)

Lampduo - BBH and Baghera (BBH got lamps from the Federation and gave one to Baghera as a sign of trust)

Siblingduo - Baghera and Forever (They are siblings your honor)

Misclickduo - Mariana and Slimecicle (They are both notorious egg death misclickers)

Fonduo - Slimecicle and Baghera (They bonded over fondue)

Codebreakerduo - Etoiles and Philza (They have the biggest beef with the codes)

Djduo - Antoine and Etoiles (They became djs for a day for a charity event :D)

The Squirrels - Tubbo and Foolish (They named themselves, because they cause problems for the Federation)

Suntrio - Jaiden, Cellbit, and Roier (They are all very attached to the sun because of Bobby)

Eclipseduo - BBH and Forever (They are the opposites of each other, the sun to one's moon)

Mazerunner trio/XYZ trio/ Pen De y Jo - Tubbo, Slimecicle, and Roier (They were the ones who were contacted and directed to finding the maze under the wall)