#and buffy did it so well!! that moment where angel kills jenny and you're like holy shit they really went there

[anniemal2004]

last post is exactly why I love buffy s6. love to see my no 1 girl broken and depressed and deeply disconnected from her closest friends and the world at large. I eat that shit up every time

[theajaheira]

idk if you've talked about this before, but is there anything you'd do to "fix" amends? i think it's important to have an Angel Guilt Episode, but would you execute it differently or would you do something else altogether? (while you're at it you can fix smg's bangs too) with it being the last time we see jenny it COULD be something meaningful but idk if the concept is salvageable.

been actually thinking about this a lot lately, because i agree with you! there is really no situation where angel would be in a solid enough place to make the distinction btwn Jenny and What He Thinks Jenny Should Make Of Him, and as canon is constructed, there is really no person in canon who 1) knows jenny well enough to articulate what she wants and 2) is WILLING to articulate what jenny wants or even, like, say her name. she's constantly tossed out in season three as a weapon more than a person -- a name used to twist the knife for buffy and for angel -- and that is so depressingly dehumanizing, but the thing is that canon is legit built on her dehumanization! her death has always mattered more to the narrative than her life, and introducing the concept of Treating Jenny As A Person this late in the game would likely feel super hollow when she was never a fully written character while alive.

that said: i think that a lot of the trouble i have with amends stems from the notion of casting buffy and angel as the people most hurt by angel's actions. i think that amends could have been stronger as an Angel Guilt Episode if instead of focusing on angel's desire to amend things with buffy, it established that weird dreamlike connection between angel and GILES instead! that giles is seeing angel's dreams and angel's guilt and struggling with this and trying to compartmentalize all of his rage and pain, because how DARE he dream of angel's guilt? how DARE he not be allowed to even have this one little dignity -- his ability to resent angel in the sanctity of his mind? the world has taken so so much from giles and it feels so weird to only get this one little scene between him and angel where nothing is really resolved and no connection is formed.

and while i also do understand that the buffy/angel thing has to be happening, we get that development every episode! i am rock solid certain that the conversation/development btwn buffy and angel in amends could have happened literally anywhere else, but to have an episode that is about angel's guilt for jenny, an episode where jenny manifests as Absolute Evil because Absolute Evil can use her face now that angel killed her, and to NOT delve into how deeply giles was hurt -- it leaves this hugely sour taste in my mouth.

canon does not have space for jenny to be a person. there is no version of amends that works if it is turned into a Tribute to Jenny, because jenny, as much as i love her, is not written strongly enough for this to work and be convincing. but a version of amends that explored giles's pain would undo a lot of the damage that season three did, and soften the blow of having to watch buffy and angel present themselves as the most Misunderstood Suffering Pair while giles is literally dissociating in the background in the watcher costume he put on because he can't be a person anymore. i think one strong episode focused on angel and giles and how fucked up giles is would be so amazing. can you IMAGINE the energy of giles breaking down over jenny in front of angel? what that might do to him to have that pain recognized as something that isn't fixable, and to know that there is someone else who is always going to carry jenny's death? i think it might actually mean positive growth for giles -- this moment of bizarre, horrible catharsis and connection with the person who took his everything away. this understanding that jenny is a ghost for giles just as much as she's a ghost for angel.

(also, this version of amends would slap in the most horrible horrifying way if it started with an idyllic little dream of giles and jenny having Nice Couple Times, With Kissing, that suddenly goes horribly sideways right before giles jerks awake.)

[killian-spey]

Death Would Be Kinder [Prologue]

Next Ch.

[Drusilla/Spike/Calendar!Reader]

Words: 1591

Fic Concept: Jenny Calendar’s sister spends some “quality time” with the Season 2 Vampire Squad.

TW/CW: violence

AN: Idea came from @prose-for-hire ‘s submission to the fic title game. It's a tad different from the original concept, but I just had so much fun with it! (Planned to be somewhere between 5-10 parts.)

It was Buffy’s 17th birthday today, but the mood seemed too heavy in the car for any giggling between the two of you. Truth be told, you both had a lot on your minds; not that you would have actually told her anything about your problems. You were staring out the window, picking absently at some dried paint on your arm; you never were able to master being tidy while you painted. Your older sister, Jenny, was driving the two of you to The Bronze, where the rest of the group was lying in wait to surprise her with a birthday bash. You made eye contact with her when she looked through the rear view at you, and you could tell she was just as worried as you were about recent developments.

Your Uncle had come into town recently and berated the two of you for letting Buffy and Angel get so close. Unfortunately for you and Jenny, if something didn't change quickly, Angel could lose his soul. All the work of your ancestors taken to curse him would be undone, and there would be no way to fix it. It's not that you wanted Angel to be unhappy, but the vengeance curse against Angel was not only important to your people, but possibly the thing that kept him from being a monster. If anything jeopardized that, it would crush Buffy and the gang. You didn't want to let anyone down.

Jenny pulled into the side street -having arrived at The Bronze- and you undid your seat belt. Before you could open your door, Buffy pulled your hand away from the handle.

“This looks funky, stop for a sec.”

You and Jenny both squinted, trying to see what she was even talking about. It took you both a moment, but sure enough there were two vamps clambering around on a truck in the shadows. Jenny tried to talk Buffy out of fighting them, but she left anyway. Something about destiny and all that. You were just impressed she could see that well in the dark.

Watching Buffy fight the vamps left you wincing, pitying the undead for having to go through such a beat down. You hung on the edge of your seat and leaned on the passenger seat in front of you. The two of you left in the vehicle hadn't had a chance to talk in private since Uncle had spilled the beans on the Angel problem.

“What are we going to do about the curse, Jenny?”

She made a face and shook her head, she didn't know what to do either. She knew more about the curse than you did -magic was never your strong suit- and if she didn't know, you both were stuck.

“If only there was a way to separate them.” You were spit-balling.

“Right, and how do you suggest we do that?”

She had a point, Buffy and Angel had been practically attached at the hip recently. You opened your mouth to speak, but paused as Buffy tossed the last vamp through a window into The Bronze. You and Jenny both made reactionary sounds that could only be summed up as “Yikes noises” and scrambled out of the car. Buffy hopped through the broken window and you both inspected the window. Jenny picked up a crate one of the vamps had been carrying and carried it inside.

After some pleasantries and some “Yeah, sorry! Vampires exist” talk with Oz, the group crowded around the mystery box. It was no secret that those vamps were Spike’s men, so whatever it was, it was definitely not good.

Your worry was confirmed when an arm shot out of the box, strangling Buffy before she and Angel managed to rip it away from her throat. According to Angel, it was the arm of The Judge. That meant Spike was building a one-man-apocalypse like some kind of demonic Lego figurine.

You glanced at Jenny, trying to communicate your plan silently as you addressed the group. “Someone has to take this thing as far away from here as possible- separate it from the other pieces.”

Jenny was quick, immediately understanding your idea.

“Angel, it has to be you. You're the only one who can protect this thing.”

It took a little convincing, but a plan was soon agreed on. You and Jenny shared a “Thank God” glance, secretly pleased that Angel and Buffy would be separated, at least temporarily. You could rest easy in the fact that Angelus wouldn't be loosed on the world in a freak accident of soul-losing proportions.

Or so you thought...

A couple hours later, you were back in the library doing research. Angel and Buffy had lost the box, and had everyone regroup to study up on The Judge.

To be entirely honest, you were doodling in your notes. Every text on The Judge said exactly the same thing, sometimes even verbatim. The Judge cannot be killed by any weapon forged by Man. It was exhausting!

Luckily for you, Buffy decided to break up the research with some good old fashioned recon, and Jenny suggested you go with them. Buffy was about to protest, but you cut her off.

“With the exception of you supernatural folks, I do have the best track record of holding my own. No offense, guys,” Xander seemed less than pleased with your not-so-subtle brag, but you continued anyway. “And, I’d be able to map parts of the facility super quick and easy. We’ll need that info if we plan on making a move.”

Reluctantly, Buffy and Angel agreed to take you with them and you snatched your notepad and pencil from the table, glad to be free from the texts and tomes… Even if it meant putting you in direct danger. You briefly wondered if maybe you shouldn't see a therapist about that someday, but shrugged it off as the three of you left the building.

---

Upon reaching the factory, the three of you climbed the fire escape and ducked into a broken, old window over a set of rafters. You had already begun sketching the layout of the rooms as you took in the sights below. It looked like some kind of party, to be plain. Vamps were crawling all throughout the place, a crystal bowl of what looked like punch rested on a table covered with cups in the middle of the warehouse space, and tall lattice-backed chairs were loosely strewn around a banquet table. You and Buffy creeper ahead on the grate walkway above it all. Your eyes were locked on the party, but you could assume Angel was following behind; he was too quiet for you to hear.

Your eyes fell on Spike, he was in a wheelchair. He seemed to be enjoying himself despite his weakened state, talking to someone just out of your line of sight. Not a second later, you saw Drusilla dancing her way across the floor, swaying to her own beat and sweeping the red chiffon ribbons of her dress through the air. Buffy gasped softly, but you didn't see whatever she'd seen.

“That's him. The Judge,” Angel whispered from behind you both and pointed.

You saw him, just as he craned his ugly blue head up to spot the three of you gawking. Fuck.

You spun to face the window, finding two vamps in the way of your escape. Buffy and Angel had flanked you from both sides, but fighting this many vamps was completely futile. Before long, the three of you were dragged in front of Spike, Drusilla and The Judge. Spike rolled his chair forward to get a better look at Buffy.

“Well, Well- look what we have here! Crashers.”

“I'm sure our Invitations just got lost in the mail,”

You almost rolled your eyes at Buffy’s one-liner. How she managed wise-cracks at a time like this was beyond you. Ignoring the monologues, your eyes darted around in search for an escape method. Nothing came to mind, but when you turned back into the conversation, Drusilla’s eyes had locked with yours.

She was ever so slightly swaying to music you couldn't hear and your eyes followed her intently. She raised two fingers, pointed at each of your eyes and gestured to her own. She beckoned you. She was enchanting. Beautiful. She was- she broke contact as Buffy suddenly made a move and you took a second to follow suit, twisting out of a vamp’s hold and knocking him -and accidentally yourself- off balance. You were suddenly unsure of your footing, almost groggy as you fought.

Angel pulled a chain, crashing a pile of video monitors you hadn't noticed down from their perch onto The Judge. The three of you scattered. You ducked behind some crates and heard Drusilla call for the lackeys to chase. You spotted Angel and Buffy slipping into a sewer drain and psyched yourself up to book it twenty feet to get there to join them. You took one last look behind the crates -Drusilla locked eyes with you- and you booked it, not entertaining her gaze this time.

As you dropped down the sewer drain, you caught a glimpse of her, just staring at you. You scanned both directions of the sewer system, but found no trace of Buffy or Angel. In a split second you picked a direction and ran. You didn't stop running. Not for breath, not to look behind you, and certainly not to entertain the nagging memory of Drusilla’s eyes, staring into your soul as they'd done just minutes ago.

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