#and culturally its normal to stay with my family for a long time and other peoples cultures too

[shimaiitsoh]

you know what? shout out to adults that live with their parents. takes some type of maturity to say "i just really like living with my parents" because we live in a society that thinks its lazy or bad

[milky-mink]

His Majesty

Part One

Yandere Emperor with a Traveling Merchant Darling

Disclaimer: Based on many Fantasy manhwa's that I've read, the setting is fascinating to me, so that is why I made one of my own. There would be references to real-life locations, but that is all.

TW: Yandere, Power Imbalance, Intimidation, Reference to abuse of Power

Ever since you were young, you have been exposed to many different cultures since you were a child of two traveling merchants

Although every day is an adventure, it feels so lonely, even though you’ve met many people, both amiable or ill-natured. There is not enough time to build connections with them because your group would then pack up to go to another place before you get to know the local person you’ve befriended

So that is why you have given up on befriending locals and would just sell or bargain trading goods and items, which you are surprisingly good at

And that is why at such a young age, you have been granted by your parents your own stall in your group even though you aren’t an adult yet

Which led you to be one of the valuable assets in your group. You can bargain to the point that the item is given free and you can even sell sands in a desert city on just how you marketed the products to people

Your stall has it all: spices, pieces of jewelry, valuable textiles, unique teas, and even rare meat. As long as people pay the right amount of course

And right now, you are in your usual element. Your group has set up stalls in the local market in The Empire’s capital, Velnford, which is very rare since The Empire, even though influences most if not all in this continent, rarely let people in in the main region or even its capital. So that is why you are surprised when your group has managed to be let in in the region, let alone in the capital itself

Even on the outskirts of the city, you could see the splendor of The Empire’s capital. People, even the poorest are dressed in silk or the softest of cotton, most are well-groomed and wear make-up and perfume, and they look much healthier compared to the empire’s normal citizens. 

But you also know that The Capital, even though it has a shiny and rich surface, has an underbelly of putrid darkness within it. Unlike most of the cities that you have visited, people here are, well let’s just say not only have an air of superiority to them but also viciousness that you have not seen in many people other than your fellow merchants or government officials. 

Men, women, and even children. You knew that these people would trample on each other for simple and petty reasons.

That is why, even though you want to explore the capital, you simply stay in your group, in fear of being hauled by the locals. You are a merchant, not a daring idiot. 

Just as you’ve expected, you have earned more golds and silvers in The Capital than what you’ve earned in a year in just a week. People here, although very wealthy, are suckers compared to the people in other cities that you’ve visited.

You have marked up your prices to the point that you kinda felt guilty about doing it to the locals, but it quickly evaporated when some local woman bought a tea set that is worth fourteen silvers and twenty copper coins with thirty-two gold coins and twelve silvers

It was your fourth day in the city when you heard the loud sound of a trumpet coming from the main street of the city. You saw people, even your customers quickly left the place they are in before and ran to the source of the sound. You just shrugged it off and continued tending to your stall. 

As you are wiping the Jade figurines that you have, you are suddenly interrupted by people entering your tent. You then quickly looked up and saw the imperial guards, with a person who is most likely one of the members of the royal family. You then swiftly kowtowed to the ground as one of the guards then announced with a booming voice about The Emperor’s arrival at your tent, which made you shiver in nervousness.

You felt his footsteps coming towards you, which made you frigid in your place. “Merchant, face me” you heard his cold but at the same time, melodious voice command you

You then reluctantly looked up and saw one of the most beautiful men that you have ever seen in your life. 

Your expectations of what The Emperor looks like are world-shattering really, you thought that he was just the regular noble, a middle-aged man with a beer belly and maybe has male patterned baldness, but no, instead, you have a person who looks like a sculpture that the gods themselves have made. An impressive well-built body that you are sure is toned and muscular if you stripped off those clothes that you are sure are worth half of your inventory. He has silky white hair with a slight purple tint on it and eyes that shone like a rare grey diamond. He has an air of not only superiority but also authority around him, which is rare, even for this city. 

“I-I thank your majesty for visiting my humble stall,” you said and then quickly cursed in your mind for stuttering in front of the emperor himself. 

As you are overthinking in your mind, The Emperor then signaled his men to leave him be, wanting to survey the stall on his own. His men obeyed his command and swiftly left the tent as if they weren’t there in the first place

“Merchant, get up and show me the finest items that you’ve got,” he said, bidding you to do his will, you quickly looked up and nodded then get up from the ground and start to show him your finest wares that even your richest clients never saw

Fine wares, golds, pieces of jewelry, Textiles, and other luxurious commodities that you have, you’ve shown him all, but this just makes The Emperor bored out of his mind as if seeing those items repeatedly his whole life, which is most likely the case. 

This makes you very uneasy, not only because of The Emperor’s apparent displeasure but also your pride as a merchant. If your usual luxurious wares didn’t impress him, then you have to show him something else, which gave you an idea.

“It’s worth a shot,” you thought while observing the emperor playing at two golden spheres with an unnerving impassive expression written on his face. “Your majesty, if you aren’t satisfied by my luxurious wares, what if I show you my collection of years traveling as a merchant?” you offered The Emperor, which then garnered a slight, doubtful expression from him.

“Show it to me then”, you nodded and then opened various chests and boxes for the items that you have collected from various countries and continents. Small and compact wooden dolls from the eastern continent’s Fuji Islands that wore their various local traditional clothing, the items made out of shells from the Apo peninsula, and various manuscripts that tell the ancient folklore from the Kamet region of the southern continent. 

This caused a slight fascination, which increased as you’ve explained their background and origins. 

You’ve also shown the other items like good luck charms made out of Camel Bones from the Scorching Desert regions or The intricate small tea cups from the Eastern Continent’s mainland region. Which further fed The Emperor’s curiosity. 

“How fascinating” you heard him say while his eyes looked at the items like a curious child, which made you baffled at first but then kept your head down, you don’t want to cause any trouble, but you can’t help that his expression looked endearing on his face, it's like the expression of children when they see your goods in remote towns or villages. 

When you are finished showing him your goods, he then proceeds to buy almost all of the items at an exorbitant price that made your eyes pop out. 

“Y-your highness, that is too much!” you said as you saw his men putting down chests that are filled with various gold. You are a shrewd Merchant, you admit that, but this is just too much! 

“Are you disregarding my judgment?” he then snapped at you, which made you freeze, “Oh no, your majesty! It’s just, these golds are too much for such items!” you refute, trying to reason with him. 

This cause him to let out an amused snort, then walked up to you and lifted your chin, which made you look him in the eye. Causing you to have a slight blush on your face.

“You are a fascinating merchant. Tell me what is your name,” he asked which you then quickly replied, not wanting to agitate him further.

“What a curious name, tell me, where did you come from?” he asked, which you quickly answered. “Oh, that is very far away, even from My Empire. It is rare to have people from your region come visit in My Dominion, even in trade,” he said, surprised by your answer. 

You didn’t respond as he then observed your smaller form, which made you petrified at your spot. Him, still holding your chin while frozen in place.

“You pleased me, merchant, for your actions earlier, I would dismiss your previous foolish behavior,” he said, which made you a little bit relieved inside. However, his next words do not. “I will even let you in my palace and show me your other wares, be honored merchant, I will grant you a blessing most people in Velnford won’t experience during their lifetime,” 

He then let go of your chin, which then causes you to fall to the ground to Kowtow again to him. “I-its is an honor, your highness” you replied while having a panicked expression on your face. 

He then let out a hum and then observed the items before he exit your tent, but before he go out he then quickly added words that further made you frightened inside. “Be mindful that you are the only one that I allowed inside my palace”. He then swiftly exits your tent. 

As you felt their presence start to fade, you then got up and try to walk on the nearby couch, but quickly collapse on the floor, which is thankfully padded with carpet, which made your landing less painful. 

“Oh my goodness, (Y/N)!” you heard your parents panic as they entered your tent from the back, they lift you and put you on the couch, letting you lay there to calm down

They asked what happened when The Emperor visits your tent, which caused your face to distort, and told them everything. Which made your parent's faces pale due to shock but at the same time dread.

When the night falls and the streets of Velnford are almost empty, except for the guards patrolling the city. You are then led to the main tent by your parents. Which congregates most of the leaders of your group to discuss your situation right now.

You feared that most of the people would be envious and they even would spit out words that you are not ready for the responsibility, but instead, they are concerned for you and even told you what they have learned that is related to the palace and its notoriety. 

You have found out that most merchants who are selected to visit the palace have their heads quickly cut off, which made most merchants, even the greediest and the most ambitious once would be frightened due to that lone fact alone, it does not even add the other things that would make you hurl in a mix of fright and disgust.

Even if you are well-traveled, maybe you still are sheltered by your parents, but the things that are not only going on in the palace but also in this city, it made you feel disgusted inside. You know that this city is cruel and hedonistic but not to this extent. 

When you and your family got back to your tent, you don’t bother to take your usual evening bath but instead went back to your bed and cried for hours on end as your parents comfort you as best as they can. 

When the day finally arrives, you are now dressed in the best attire from your region, which made you stand out from the rest of the people in the city. 

This garnered a lot of curious gaze and some people looking down on you for being a ‘barbarian’, but you ignored them and moved on to enter the palace borders.

“Oh my gods,” you thoughts as you saw a colossal wall surrounding the palace grounds with a gate that led to a mile and a half of gorgeous scenery of nature before going into the palace.

When you saw the palace, you are surprised that it's not a gigantic monument that stands out from the rest of the city but instead, it's a meticulously designed architecture that made it a work of art itself. 

You can’t really explain it in detail, but the palace is just, breathtaking. Even if you’ve seen various palaces from continent to continent, this is very different compared to the others, as if this does not only impose authority but also unquestioned majesty

A guard then let you out of the carriage. Unlike the other imperial guards, he looks like he is one of the elites that guarded this palace. The guard, along with your wares that are carried by the palace servants then guides you to where the emperor is right now. 

When you enter the palace, you could see why it's not as tall as you thought it to be. You thought that the splendor of the capital is massive but the inside of the palace makes it look like a spare change. The palace, even though not as tall, makes it up for its space and splendor. You are sure that this palace is a quarter the size of the city capital and that does not even add the nature surrounding it. 

You arrived at the throne room, which made your eyes widen in fascination. High ceilings that are painted with various depictions of celestial bodies and glass windows seeing the sky, pillars that crave with imperial symbols, the dark marbled floor that reflects your visage, and realistic paintings of various places in the continent that are powered by rare magic stones to look like a portal to those places. 

People, except you and The Emperor exit the room, making you frightened at your situation even more. 

“Chin up merchant, and show your other goods” 

You then nodded and show the other items that you haven’t shown him before. Some aren’t even from your inventory and are given or bought to you by your fellow traders in your group. Hand-woven blankets, bamboo toys from the Hengshan region, and many more

As you explain it to him one by one, he then cuts you out, “I can’t really see it from this distance, merchant, walk closer” he commanded. You quickly obeyed his words and walk closer to him. Which led you to the staircase of the throne. 

“Hmm, closer, dear merchant”

You then nodded and reluctantly walk up to the staircase that led to the imposing throne, which is the shining gem of the throne room. 

You are now facing in front of the Emperor, although is sitting on the throne, doesn’t diminish his impressive figure and actually made him more intimidating

“Much better, now, explain. "

You quickly obey his words and then explain the Item in your hand right now, which is a simple gold earring. 

“Oh, so it is like an engagement ring, I see. "

You nod at his words as you carefully show the item to him. Which he then grabs from your hands and observes it.

When he finished observing it, he then ordered you to grab another one as you then retrieve another item from the pile that the servants put in front of the throne

The session continues for hours until the items that you’ve bought satisfied The Emperor, and just like the last time, he bought it at an exorbitant price, it almost felt like you’ve committed banditry. 

As you are about to leave the throne room, he then common you to get closer to him, and as usual, you obeyed his words.

you prostrate yourself in front of him as you wait for his next command for you

“Merchant, in my days in this region, I have never seen a person as well-traveled and knowledgeable as you, and for that, I would grant you a title of an educator in this palace. From now on, you would be my teacher on various regions and their customs, and your family would be informed of this immediately”. Your eyes winded at his words, not believing the words that you are hearing right now. In shock, you quickly put your head up, “Y-your Majesty!” you uttered in distress, looking up to The Emperor, who then have a face of displeasure, seeing your actions as defiance of his order. You realized what you have done and quickly bowed down again.

“Are you objecting to my decree, Merchant?” he said with an icy tone that made your bones shiver in fear. “N-no your majesty, I-it’s just that, There are better scholars and travelers that have much more experience and knowledge than me, a lowly merchant” you reasoned to him, not wanting him to see your earlier actions as a blatant disregard of his will. You still felt his rage as he get up and then walk towards your form, which made your form rigid as a statue. He then crouch down to you and made you look up at his face. “ That may be true but, merchant, you are the only one that describes it with passion,” he said as you saw his mirthful gaze towards you. At his words, you then started to get flustered. You thought that you got rid of your over-explanation to others. It seems that your past behavior leaks out during the time you have been with The Emperor. As you are mulling over your behavior, The Emperor then ordered the servants to come in and arrange your new living arrangements in The Palace. Being the new educator to The Emperor, you are now provided with resources and privileges that most people, even the other nobles, would dream to have inside The Palace.

“Merchant,” The Emperor said, who is now standing up, looking down at you. You then snapped out of your thoughts and then look up at him. “Y-yes?” you asked, still dazed from the previous nerve-wracking interaction. “What is your name? I do not want to call you merchant any longer” he asked. “It’s (Y/N), your highness” you replied. He then nodded and then smile at you. “Well, (Y/N), I hope that you would satisfy my curiosity then”.

He then quickly left the throne room in the other door of the hall as the servants then helped you to get up and then walk you towards the exit of the throne room, although in the same doorway that you’ve used entering the palace throne room. You then sigh as the servants led you to your room in The Palace. You are now the teacher of The Emperor. You hoped that you have enough knowledge so that you wouldn't end up dead, and maybe, give your family prestige if you manage to educate The Emperor and get out of this palace alive. It would be risky, but as long as you move forward, you hope that things would get better. 

[morallyinept]

Shoot: Esquire Spain, November 2019

Photographer: JuanKR

Interviewer: Ana Trasobares

Grooming: Kristen Ingersoll

Full interview, behind the scenes, outtakes & shoot photographs below. 👇🏻

Jett's Pedro's Shoots Masterlist

• Cover shot and original images used in the magazine.

• Outtakes and behind the scenes images.

Behind the scenes shots of Pedro trying on outfits by Kristin Ingersoll:

• BTS Video

• Full Interview translated from Spanish

It’s a splendid day in Beverly Hills, but even more when Pedro Pascal walks through the door.

The protagonist of Narcos and in some chapters of Game of Thrones, is one of those guys who just shows up and gives off a good vibe. And there’s no pretending. Hours go by and not only does he not disappoint, but he goes on to become more: nice, kind, affectionate, a joker - very Latin and very normal.

This meeting in Los Angeles coincides with the premiere of his latest work, The Mandalorian, the most anticipated series by the amount of followers that the Star Wars universe drags. On November 12, Disney+ will launch its streaming platform in the US, Canada and the Netherlands and, among its offering, the first season of this series. While in Spain we will have to wait until March 31.

We spoke on the phone with its protagonist.

Who is the Mandalorian? 

He is a lone gunslinger who lives adventures on the edge of the galaxy, one of those that appears in the famous Star Wars canteen where some play music, others play cards, others make or end a deal… all seem to live outside of the law.

Why have you been so excited to star in this series?

When the creator and director, Jon Favreau, called me, I was really crazy because I, like millions of children, have grown up admiring the Star Wars universe. George Lucas is an icon of our culture, he belongs to our happiest memories, so it didn’t take me half a second to say yes.

What was the first movie you saw in the saga?

I saw the first 3 installments in a movie theater in San Antonio, Texas, when I was very young. My father was a doctor and a die-hard movie buff. He took us to the movies three times a week.

Is that why you became an actor?

Sure, because of him [laughs]. He got me the idea by taking me so much to the movies. I must have been 3 the first time I went. Normal for those images to stay with me, right?

Listening to an actor so beloved in Spain on the other end of the phone is sometimes strange, but other times feels familiar. He speaks Spanish fluently, with some Latin expressions and others in English, but they all come from his soul, because he is one of those who has grown up between the two worlds.

His family left Chile when he wasn’t even a one year old, fleeing from the Pinochet dictatorship. Denmark was their first destination as political refugees, and the US was the country which later welcomed them and saw them grow. Texas, New York, Madrid, Los Angeles, Bogotá, Mexico City, London, Santiago de Chile… all places he likes to call as home.

With your resume and the current situation around you, it is impossible not to wonder about political refugees in general and the Trump wall in particular?

We are all afraid and anxious about the actions that Trump is taking. One tries to understand the historical and political context that we live in, but the only thing that is clear to us is that we're hoping that these are the last steps of a fascist, and the only thing he sells us is fear and lies. What is happening economically and culturally, that we have to live these extremes? We should all have the same rights because we all have the same needs.

How would you define Trump?

If ego were an image that would be Trump. This is their politics inside and outside of the US, and it's very disheartening not knowing yet who will win, the good guys or the bad guys. How am I going to feel safe with a person who doesn’t want to help others when they have the power to do so?

Do you think he will last long in power?

I don’t know, nor are the limits or the ethics of politics that should maintain the balance in society very clear. It scares me to see the truth die, because the truth is worth less every day. This is why we are so lost.

Pedro Pascal doesn't want to continue talking about politics. He says he would understand perfectly if someone told him that he was getting where they were not called, so we changed third.

As the protagonist of Narcos, let’s talk about drugs. In Europe, many think that legalizing them would end drug trafficking. Do you agree?

Drugs are a recurring theme for fiction because they portray a society, culture and intrigue that occurs around them because they are illegal.

And what do you think?

…What can I tell you, since my genes are of very liberal and left-wing blood, okay?

And he laughs. Caught the hint, there is no choice but to talk about cinema and after climate change. 

Is the power of the Latin entertainment sector in the US appear to be true?

Yes, because the Latino public is getting better and better, so the Latin marketing and industry is also getting very strong. In this sense, Hollywood and cinema are lagging behind and should adapt to the new times, as streaming platforms do. These new avenues of entertainment do reflect reality by telling stories that represent the Latino public. After all, it's just another business.

How do you imagine the planet in 2050, if we continue to take care of it so little?

What scientists have been spreading for years must be put into practice. It is the least we can do if we want to save our home for future generations. It is also important that governments and those in power enforce these rules. As long as no action is taken, we will continue to oscillate between fear and hope.

Are you an activist?

My contribution, in addition to the small and necessary daily gestures, is not having children [laughs] … 

Seriously? There is a current that encourages not having offspring so as not to end the planet’s resources. You are one of them?

[More laughter]… Well, I don’t agree with applying measures to control the birth rate because having a child is a very emotional need, so I fully understand parents because, I am Uncle Pedro, by the way. I have ten nephews and I assure you that without them I could not live. If we do things well, it is positive that people can continue to have families…

And he starts laughing as he shares a reflection, “pathetic”, as he says: “As I'm still single and childless, I can afford to drink water from a plastic bottle without feeling horrible, right?” 

Looking forward to seeing him in The Mandalorian and next June in theaters in Wonder Woman 1984, we say goodbye to Pascal with one last question that we hope will bring you good proposals.

Pedro, when are you coming to work in Spain? 

Please, I’m looking forward to being invited! Put it in big letters, that I would love to work in Spain! As soon as I can, I will escape and come to see you.

Jett's Pedro's Shoots Masterlist

[birdie123au]

Weddings and Fine Wine

After a series of conflicts, you find your life once again settling into a new normal. Change comes as easy as the autumn wind, you can only hope that the closure your heart has longed for its entire life will finally be fulfilled.

The warm autumn breeze delicately kissed your face as you sat by the large opened window in your bedroom. The ladies in waiting had recently finished tending to your hair, intricately braiding it with seasonal flowers all throughout. You didn’t dare touch it, terrified that if you accidentally pulled on one flower the entire style would come undone. You sat in your wool robe staring over the vineyards as you procrastinated putting on your dress. Your uncle sat next to you, carefully sipping his freshly brewed ginger tea. You only had a few minutes left before Adelinde would surely come breaking down your door, ordering her fellow maids to help you into your dress. There was a certain air of anxiety throughout the household this late afternoon, a disappointing contrast to the peaceful wind that blew through your room.

“I’m just frankly not quite sure I understand.” your uncle said, his tone amicable as his eyes not once left the vineyard he gazed over, “Are you certain in your decision?”

You left out a shallow sigh, your serene smile faulting in the process; “I know it’s sudden, but yes, the decision I’m making is final.” You felt your uncle’s head finally turn to face you; you returned the gesture. 

“It’s so strange,” he said, “I never thought I would imagine you, my dearest niece, resigning from your position as a cicin mage in the fatui just months after receiving a promotion of such scale.”

You looked down towards where your hands lay on your lap, a proper ruby ring finally sitting upon your left ring finger. You had acquired it just days ago after Diluc’s insistence that you take a part of the necklace he gave you and send it to the jewler to be fixed into a proper engagement ring. The beauty momentarily distracted you from your uncle’s words.

It was true, after all the years of your loyal dedication to the fatui, you had ultimately decided it would be best to leave the organization. It was no easy task, considering your superior, Sandrone was all the more suspicious of your departure after you had sworn you were close to discovering who your target was. This is when you ultimately decided to come clean, resulting in a meeting between the fatui and Master Diluc, in which the two came to a contractual agreement to stay out of eachothers work for the most part. Diluc had refused to go into heavy detail, though from what you heard it was clear the meeting had gone relatively well for him. You were simply overjoyed he was no longer an assasintation target. 

You of course had your suspicions, not doubting for a second that the fatui were still scheming.  It was certain that Diluc would secretly continue his work against the organization, and that the fatui clearly had some other motivation for agreeing to ‘keep the peace’ between the two of them. You tried not to dwell on these various scenarios in your mind, instead wishing to enjoy your time in the present with your family.

“You must not worry about me, dear uncle.” you said, “I’ve already found myself a new place for work. The Zapolyarny Academy was in need of a history teacher with an extensive knowledge on Snezhnayan culture.”

Your uncle forced a small smile, though it’s clear to you that he would much prefer you to return back to Snezhnaya.

“I respect your decision, my dear Y/n.” he replies, “Though I can’t help but wish you to live closer to the family. Your permanent presence will surely be missed.”

“That’s a very kind thing of you to say.” your expression once again morphing into a jovial one, “I can’t thank you enough for agreeing to be here.”

“Well I most certainly wouldn’t miss such a momentous occasion in my niece’s life.” he chuckles a reply, “Besides, as soon as I broke the news from your letter to the rest of Fedorov family, they were practically the ones dragging me down to Mondstadt.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at the notion. It was ridiculous to imagine your parents, cousins, aunts, and uncles all frantically scrambling to see you. Your family had arrived just yesterday evening, taking refuge in the Inn located in downtown Mond. Unlike the eccentric festival your uncle had planned for you just months before, the only Snezhnayans in attendance would be your immediate family. Coming face to face with your estranged parents once again would surely be uncomfortable, but you tried not to let it take away the joy of the day. 

“Thank you uncle.” you said, “Thank you for always believing in me, even when no one else would.”

Your uncle finally set down the tea he had been drinking. Standing up from where he had been sitting he made his way towards you and gave you a soft embrace. Holding back your tears, you returned what could only be described as the goodbye hug. The bittersweet moment between you two was unfortunately interrupted. Just as you had predicted, the stressed Adelinde came marching through your door before almost dropping dead at the sight of your clothing. Mortified that you weren’t yet in your dress, she ushered your poor uncle out of the room before commanding you to finally change into your dress. 

“For the sake of Barbatos!” she cried, “You're getting married in just under forty-five minutes! Why on earth are you not in your wedding dress!”

Her lamenting was quickly drowned out by the giggles of a young girl. Klee came running towards you in her puffy, light-pink shoulder strap and skirt fell over her white blouse. The small pink crown, a povyazka, she wore covered parts of her hair that was tucked away into her signature pigtails. The traditional Snezhnayan flower girl dress looked adorable on her, it sort of reminded you of your own dresses you use to wear to relatives' weddings when you were a little girl. 

Grinning back at her, you stood up and made your way to the wardrobe where your dress lay hanging. It had beautiful puffed sleeves that lead to where your white corset created a sort of deep U shape on your chest. Finally, the skirt of the dress was slim yet flowing, something you thought suited the autumn weather quite well. The dress was an embodiment of Mondstadt culture, though your uncle had insisted that you wear the kokoshnik that had been passed down to you by your own mother. 

Once you had finished getting ready, it was time for you to make your way to where the ceremony would actually be held. That was, the area to the right of the great vineyard. This would also be where you would come face to face with your father for the first time in a little over two years, as he had dramatically insisted to your uncle that he be the one walking you down the aisle. You couldn’t help but wonder if he would be expressing this same benevolent attitude if the news wasn’t accompanied with your resignation from the fatui.

Nevertheless, you followed Adelinde and the rest of the maids down the hall into the front of the house, walking hand in hand with the enthusiastic, energetic Klee. 

————

Despite the cool breeze that blew through the vineyard, you found your hands growing clammy as they clasped your husbands. After the long monologue of traditional marriage affociantries and vows, you took the time to steal quick glances of the venue around you. There were a few chairs leading to where the two of you stood, surrounded by shubury, trees, and grape vines. You hadn’t expected yourself to be as anxious as you were a few minutes ago, not even taking the time to look at the guests before you as your father had walked you down the aisle. 

As you turned your head once more, though this time to look at your audience, you felt a harsh squeeze on your hands. Your head quickly snapped back in place, where it had been just moments before, in which your gaze was met by a very confused Diluc. The young master was wearing one of his traditional black suits, though his fiery hair that was normally tied back in a low ponytail had been formally brushed out. Embarrassed, you looked towards the priest for some sort of answer. The man struggled to hold back his laughter, making you further wish to bury your head in your hands. 

“Eh hem,” the priest cleared his throat while holding back another chuckle, “You may now kiss the bride. Again.”

 “Oh, oops.” you found yourself saying before you could even process. Your small audience erupted into laughter; Diluc stepped down onto your shoe. 

This time it was your turn to laugh as you leaned forward to kiss the ever so stubborn man. As your lips finally met, the audience's laughter turned into claps and cheers. You found it humorous how such a small group of people could be so incredibly enthusiastic. After the two of you pulled apart, the two of you simultaneously turned to face the audience. For the first time, you were able to have a proper headcount of those in attendance. 

The first row on the left side of the aisle contained your uncle, father, and mother. Behind them were your aunts and uncles. While the final row included your few cousins, and your dear friend Dimitri. Your ex-subordinate gleefully whispering into the ear of his mysterious plus one. The right side of the aisle had little Klee sitting in the first row, clapping her hands enthusiastically while Adelinde sat beside her. The two remaining rows were filled with a small number of who you could assume to be business confidants, as well as a blonde girl with a small floating companion. What shocked you however was the sight of a man with blue hair and an eye patch. He sat in the furthest location to where the two of you stood at the makeshift altar. Making eye contact, Kaeya offers a small nod and smile. You reciprocate.

Turning your head back to Diluc, the two of you begin making your way down the aisle together. Per Snezhnayan tradition, the two of you offer small bows to each passing person. The smiles of pride from each of your guests causes your heart to swell. At the end of the aisle and up the hill lay a small carriage that the two of you would board. It would take you up past the winery to the small patch of grass in which your uncle hosted the festival weeks ago. 

After taking the hand of the carriage driver and trying your best to climb in without scrunching your dress, the two of you were finally alone with each other for the first time in hours. Diluc sighed, taking the moment to take off his jacket and loosen his tie.

“So tired already? You know we have an entire night of partying left, right?” you tease. He lets out a frustrated grunt.

“I’m well aware.” His grimace turns into a soft smile, “I’m quite looking forward to seeing what you Snezhnayans’ have in store for dances.” 

“Just you wait.” You said, “One of my cousins is known throughout the land for being an amazing break dancer.”

“Oh dear.” he said, laughing at your phrasing.

“Oh dear indeed, dear.” you snicker at your own words; your husband audibly groans at your phrasing. 

————

“You know, it's humorous to me.” Diluc begins, “I had no idea you of all people would be such a horrid dancer.”

You sigh in frustration as you once more step on the foot of the younger master. Whether it be from the pressure of having your family and friends watching the two of you waltz, or it be the fact that you were just plain bad, you couldn't help but repeatedly assault Diluc’s foot. You knew that as soon as the romantic, melodramatic music ended that you would never hear the end of Dimitri’s teasing and your parents lament at the fact you danced as if you had two left feet.

“It’s quite alright, your dancing reminds me of Klee.” he said. You gasp in offense.

“Klee is six!” you whisper back.

“Yes, I’m quite aware.”

“Oh you little–”

Diluc abruptly interrupts you by dipping you to the point where your head practically makes contact with the floor as the music halts to a stop. You playfully slap him as lifts you back up to make your way back to the large dining table, the soft cheers and claps from the guests ringing in your ears. 

The sun had long disappeared from the sky, your reception being lit solely by the illustrious fairy lights that adorned the various wooden pillars decorated with plants. The two of you sat down at the head of the table, making polite conversation with those directly next to you as dinner began to be served. Dimitri, as eloquently as always, made conversation with you as his mouth filled with the steak served to him.

“This is really great, Y/n!” he said, “I’m so excited to have a place to stay when I visit Mond! And such great hosts as well!”

You leaned in towards him to reply; “Chew with your mouth closed, god damn it.”

He chuckled, nearly spitting out his food in response.

“Speaking of hosts,” you began, “care to introduce me to that little friend of yours you had been speaking with earlier?”

He choked on his laughter, or food, in response once again; “Him? Oh for the love of the Tsarista! I can’t believe I haven't introduced the two of you earlier! Turns out Mond has multiple good bachelors, har har.”

“How long have you two been together?”

“Next questions.” he smiled at you kindly.

“His name?”

“Clark.”

“What a boring name.”

“So true, Mrs. Ragnvindr.”

You playfully swat at his antics. After people had finished their dinner, they made their way to the dance floor. It was no surprise much of the music playing was traditionally Snezhnayan. You looked on to see your family and friends dance angelically to the music, while those from Mond struggled more to keep up. What you most appreciated, however, was the fact that your father had taken the time to lift Klee onto his shoulders, dancing up and down to the music. The guests gasped and cheered as they danced in a circle around her. When the two of you made eye contact, the young girl waved at you, astonished at the fact that she was this high up above everyone else. Throughout the rest of the night, you sporadically got up to dance with everyone else. 

It took until well past midnight for the dancing to finally die down, and for people to return back home. 

————

“So…” Diluc clears his throat, “Do you still plan on leaving tomorrow morning with your uncle?”

The two of you were walking with arms linked, weaving through the large vineyards. It was late, at least two in the morning. Klee and the other guests had long left to sleep, leaving just the two of you with your own thoughts. Your plan to return to Snezhnaya tomorrow morning with your family was so that you could retrieve your belongings and say your farewells to friends, family, and ex-colleagues. With school beginning just two days later, and Diluc’s work having no time for breaks in the foreseeable future, you had decided it would be fastest for it to be just you to return to the motherland to collect your stuff. 

“Of course,” you replied, his expression growing slightly sour, “No need to worry. The sooner I leave the sooner I can get back to the two of you.”

“Are you sure you should be going alone?” he asked, “What if your uncle is planning something…”

“Oh please, you saw how my uncle was earlier, teaching Klee how to do the box step. He would never think of hurting his family in such a way.”

“That’s indeed true.” he admitted, “I’m simply surprised a man of his age has such a way of dancing. It was a fascinating spectacle.”

You laugh, pulling him closer towards you. 

“You know..” he begins, “Klee told me something earlier that I think you would like to hear.”

“What did she say this time?” you laugh, imagining all of the various chaotic things that girl could have said.

“She said she was so glad you get to be her mama.”

“Oh. Oh wow.”

The atmosphere grew heavy as the two of you stopped in your place. You had a deep love for Klee, though it still felt oddly sentimental each time you heard that your emotions were reciprocated. You often found your own mind wandering to if your own mother felt that way about you, then you would grow both angry and sad that it most likely wasn't the case. Nevertheless, you appreciated the time he took to tell you this information, your heavy heart growing jovial at this information. 

“I’m glad it was you who I ran into that night.” Diluc continued, “There is no one I would rather have at my side.”

You meet his eyes, an affectionate smile plastering your face.

“Promise me that when I come home you’ll be waiting here for me?”

“Always.”

prev.

[dyrewrites]

Pale Blood - Side Characters and More

@starbuds-and-rosedust suggested I add Den and Ron to my shared character notes.

Ask and You Shall Receive!

They're not quite as fleshed out as the "Heroes", but there's stuff in there that's useful anyhow.

I have notes for a few others too (whose roles will be given away by the title of the section they're in but meh), and I'll toss them in too.

So here are more character notes!

Their Friends

Ron (Lerone Mitael)

“I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, honey…but you’re at work.”

The ghoul that runs the bloodbank. He’s fine, most normal of the lot really. He’s perpetually in his 30s, as that is when his body died, but he’s actually much older. Unfortunately, thanks to a rather long stint of starving to madness—and being locked in a dark, dank hole for it—he’s not sure how much. Ron is 6' 1" with blue eyes, short curly black hair shaved on the sides and a perfectly trimmed goatee—there is a reason they are always in perfect order and never mussed, but he'd sooner die again than tell. He has a muscular build and will lie about using spray-on color, but he is absolutely darker skinned than a slum-bound dead guy should be. Odea has a picture of what he looked like when he was alive, that she nabbed from an old file, and it is clear that Ron has been trying to keep that appearance up. It’s just hard, what with death and the smog trying to pale him.

He doesn't leave the bloodbank, not because he can't but because it isn't safe—for a few reasons. Ghouls are illegal outside Upper Dolor. Because they degrade, mentally, and he's been hanging on through increased meals but stimulation causes stress and stress causes rage and if he is overstimulated he might frenzy. So he stays inside, where he can keep some control of himself and where the world outside can keep safe from him. He’s the first one to notice something is amiss, because Ron is an observant guy that spends too much time around lunatics. He is also the only one working at the bloodbank who is aware of the sub basement, and its freezer, where unclaimed dead are stored. For him. There’s a good reason Ron works for fangs and it’s not the money—though he’d argue Del is a close second to the food.

Den (Morden Drenkal)

“We may share blood and flesh, but we aren’t family.”

Den is 38 and, while fangs age slow, wolves age fast which makes him ancient to his pack—it’s more a cultural thing than a literal one, he was expected to start a subpack and attempt to take over more of the slums in the name of the wolfmother some twenty years prior, but Den does not ascribe to pack mentality, would prefer to mate for love and kids bother him. He’s roughly 5’9” —a fact his siblings mock as all of them break 6’—with fiery orange eyes, rich black hair that he keeps in a braid down his back, and a muscular physique—in a sinewy sort of way. He bares the distinct tanned skin and hairy everywhere of all Wolves—even in human form they are rather fuzzy. His arms, chest and legs are the furriest but there’s a well-trimmed path leading from belly button down that he takes great pride in. He’ll never speak of how often he lasers the hair off his face and back, or which older sister helps him do it, but most of his siblings mock him mercilessly for this act—save his youngest, who adores him and is the only kid he'll put up with.

Den is not looked at as much of a fighter, and has lost many battles with his younger brother, but he is faster than the average wolf—stronger than the halfie fang—and fights with a ferocity his mother once praised. He’s lost much of that fire, due to losing faith in his pack, but he is still a force to be reckoned with when pushed. He attacks teeth first when he attacks at all and has a grip stronger than all but his eldest sibling.

--this bit is what I wrote before he showed up in the manuscript, to explain his side of the 'how we met' scene--

He went to Luster to let off steam, to take some semblance of control in a life he felt was spinning out of it. That is where he saw him. He knew what he was when the light caught on an oversized fang, it poked out of lips that longed to pout and Den felt shame mingling with his lust—but he had a bit more of his mother in him than he would admit to. He’d not seen many fangs in Luster, not so soon after sunrise and never one that looked so warm and welcoming. Most went in for the wiry villainous look, all bluster and flash but no bite, no bulk, nothing to grip.

Den wanted those big arms around him, wanted to run his fingers through that mousy hair and cover those soft cheeks in kisses. He would play along with whatever tricks the fang pulled—as they always did—to lure him upstairs. To the beds that waited, for a reasonable fee, for those that came to worship at the feet of moaning Gods. But damn if that fang wasn’t comfy. Too comfy. He was sweet too, not in words but action…intent. Den didn’t want to let him be a one-time thing. He wanted to hold him, to know him, to learn why those beautiful hazel eyes were so dull and misted.

Frienemies

Bosch (Boschkori Nor Brume)

“I didn’t do it for you, where’s my blood?”

He’s an old fang, at around 96, give or take a…century—he’ll never tell—but he looks no more than 45. Current Boss of the slums with aspirations of joining the ivory boys in Upper Dolor. He’s a pitbull of a man-thing, short and stocky at about 5’2” but all muscle with smog-pale skin, a shiny bald head and fierce golden eyes. He’s gruff in attitude but impeccable in appearance. Pocket-size mobster with a fetish for ghosts and ghoulies that he’s pretty sensitive about discussing.

He’s an outright dick to Delmas about 90% of the time, like most of the fangs, but actually has a lot of respect for his hustle and has been working toward getting him to take over for him some day—he’d never tell him that though, too much bad blood lingering from when his dad was in charge. As much as Delmas hates being his bitch, he actually doesn’t mind Bosch so much and trusts him above the other fangs. He’s run him hard, but he’s never lied to him or given him a reason not to trust him.

Bosch' Toys

He's a tinkerer and self-proclaimed engineer with a specialty in magitech—which is not a term anyone but him uses. He likes to combine magic and technology in pursuit of easy to use devices that he can use to combat other supernatural critters. Mostly other fangs but he has an arsenal of anti-ghost equipment and knows more about wolf biology than they do. He makes frequent trips into the Wylds, dragging thralls with to meet the required entry quota—though he often leaves alone.

Nash (Fornash Drenkal)

“I ain’t afraid a you, fang.”

Wolf heartrunner and Den's younger brother. He’s 7’4”, around 18, though in human form he’d pass as late-20s. He hits up morgues and hospitals for the recently dead what might not need their hearts no more and brings them to the Wolf Boss—his mother, who is the mother of all wolves. He and Del have history, as the tentative agreement their respective little gangs hold is a new one—and Nash has a personal dislike of fangs due to serious mommy issues. Nash is not terribly eloquent in any of the forms he can take, but he is big and he is scary and very good at what he does. He’s also superstitious, devout to Mother Night and absolutely oblivious to what is actually going on at any given moment. Not the Wolves’ brightest, but he’s not paid to be.

Nash’s bark is worse than his bite, but his bite is nothing to sneeze at. However, it’s the claws that one has to watch out for. He fights more like a bear than a wolf and packs a punch; a sharp and slicing punch, which could take out a truck if he needed it to.

Shit-list

(there's only one fleshed out on this right now and currently only one scene with her, but she does show up again)

Mitzi Tru (real name unknown)

"I know what you got for him, honey…and it ain't nothing you'll ever give me."

Degenerate witch—as most Daughters of Sister Twilight—turned degenerate poltergeist. She's on the shit list, especially after what she does in the manuscript, but she was more friend than enemy once. Delmas knew her when she was alive, albeit he was a literal child at the time and didn't understand what the hotel she ran was actually for. Or why the only women in it seemed to work there. There were men there too, however, and he would discover things about himself in the Dahlia as a teen because of it.

Mitzi was always a bit pushy, had her favorite "boys" and wasn't good with sharing…but death did a number on more than her looks. How she died is no mystery, but she forgets frequently—which is why Bosch is still allowed in her hotel. Did it have something to do with a teenage halfie accidentally being left alone with a predatory older woman? Delmas has no memory of it, he was drugged at the time, but Bosch remembers it with crystal clarity. It wasn't his gun, but it was there and he knew how to use it. The cops then were paid well, or frightened better, and the body was never found.

Mitzi didn't get to move on—Daughters never do. She got to stick around and watch the fangs squat in her place and sometimes a flicker of memory ignites and she rages. If any women enter her hotel, scavengers out for what's mine, she rages. It's not the best place to do business, but it is the prettiest in the slums...and there's such a fine dungeon beneath that Bosch can't stand seeing go to waste.

Truelle (Truellear Fel Myra)

Sister of Dusk, Bloodbriar Coven, age 55. 5’3”

Lyrna (Lyrnassi Hal Sura)

Sister of Dusk. Bloodbriar Coven, age 50. 5’10”

Lulu (Lulusara Drenkal)

Wolfmother, appears to be in her early 40s in human form. 9’6”

To anyone’s recollection there has never been another wolfmother and all wolves can trace their lineage back to Lulu. No one knows how old she is. Even she has forgotten.

---

Taglist:

@rmgrey-author

@ruinmegently

[thelaughingmerman]

Some of these are personal headcanons, we can't all live in the slow burn fanfic playing inside my head on loop. I took some of the questions off because I didn't want to bother with them.

First to Confess- Eugene is quick to fall in general, and it's been a detriment to him in the past. His personality and charm wins him favor on the stage, but off, some have found him to be too much to handle. He's quick to brush off hurt feelings with humor, because they're uncomfortable to deal with. Even still, past failed relationships don't keep him from confessing, perhaps too quickly, yet again.

First to Apologize- Franklin hates being angry, it makes him feel gross and staticky. And the aura an argument leaves hanging in the air stays over his head like many storm spirits having a raucous discussion. Even the smallest disagreement can feel like thunder in his head, so he's quick to apologize. Even in cases where he's pretty miffed he'll simmer down easily if given space, he's willing to just let bygones be.

More Popular- Although much has changed for Franklin the past few years of his life since he traveled to the bay surrounding Trolberg, he's still pretty introverted. Somewhat more talkative to be sure, but he lacks the charisma of Eugene, both on and off the stage. It's OK, because he's got more than enough for both of them.

- Franklin cares very deeply about his friends and family. It's not something he would have ever thought to come from him, but ever since meeting the Fisherman Henrik, he's opened up tremendously and proven to be a compassionate and caring person...where his friends are concerned at least. He may not give strangers a second glance. Even still he will try his best when his partner is ailed. All he really knows how to do is cover him in blankets and sit next to him, read a book to him if he's up for it. But it's the thought that counts, surely.

Does the Cooking- Merfolk, by design, don't really need cooked food. And by culture, really only indulge in cooked meals by personal preference. Franklin likes trying good food, but anything not foraged or caught is usually made and given him by his Fisherman friend, Henrik. They also don't need to eat as often as, say, a human. Therefore, neither of them cook, and if they do (it has been attempted) its not bad but not better than raw fish on a seaweed salad, so why bother. That time can be used for other things.

Does Most of the Speaking- Eugene, most definitely is the talker. Especially in company Franklin is unfamiliar with (though as his confidence gathers, he chimes in a lot more). Even still, he defers to Eugene, who he claims is the brains of their outfit. Their intelligence is on par, but Eugene is full of big ideas, so we'll say we agree with Franklin and move on.

More Overprotective- He may be small and quiet, but Franklin is strong. While he doesn't really give those outside his very small circle a second glance, he's got a big heart, and is willing to help a friend in need. If he feels a situation is dire, he'll break his normal silence and stand up. He's not going to let anything bad happen to the people he loves.

Better Penmanship- A showman, of course, has to have a steady hand. It won't do to give the fans a sloppy signature, will it? Next to Franklin's chicken scratch, his name looks elegant in cursive swirls. Whether it's more legible is another matter entirely. What do Merfolk even use to give signatures underwater? Don't ask me questions I don't know the answers to.

More Experience- Eugene's been around the block a couple times, but nothing really lasted. Largely because he'd really like a committed, long term relationship. Which he rarely mentions up front. His tendency to deflect from serious emotions with humor and charm doesn't help.

One Who Proposes- Would they propose, maybe down the line. Things are just good where they're at now, but who knows a commitment like that might seem a happy occasion. Either way, by that point Franklin's confidence will have sky rocketed, and he'd be much more open and willing to make the step. Good and bad, depending on how you look at it, Eugene has similar plans for the same day. Franklin manages to have his moment first (a big deal for him, it took a lot for him to make that step!), to the (admittedly purposefully overdramatic, given the circumstance) outrage of Eugene, who had a whole thing planned. He'd been rehearsing, you can't take this from him. Let's start over.

[donnietheterrapin]

Splintskirt lore

this will probably be edited and added onto a LOT

its also very disorganized so you can read as many or few paragraphs you want in whatever order

CW for mentions of death and seizure, as well as general themes of prejuduce

So the kraang dropped mutagen bombs on Earth a few decades ago (60-ish years). It was a series of mutagen bombs similar to those in the mutant apocalypse but a LOT smaller. Like instead of the whole world, it was parts of cities being glossed in mutagen ooze, causing people to mutate and evacuate.

This mutagen was cleaned up pretty quickly, and stored in facilities around the world, that way nobody could get all the mutagen in bulk, and scientists could experiment and work on anti-mutagen. Of course, capitalism, so the anti-mutagen is super expensive. This means that only the richest mutants can get their hands on it, which means Splinter cannot.

Mutants are fairly normalized, but there is a lot of prejudice against them for being "different", "feral", etc. They are part of society, but they are highly underprivileged and not on a level playing field in work and school scenarios.

Splinter is a descendant of a rat mutant. (Yes this means im retconning my lore but stay with me here it makes more sense to me this way). He had a long-time girlfriend named Tang Shen, who was a turtle mutant. She had 4 kids from a previous marriage, all being turtles with a bit of human dna sprinkled in. She dieded though. Tang shen was already struggling with health issues, but she died from a seizure that caused a heart attack. thankfully the turtles were way too young to remember their mother's death, but it struck splinter HARD. Now, he had to support a family of 5 on one income, deal with the traumatic death of his girlfriend (basically wife), AND navigate his children's lives with them being mutants and just children in general.

Splinter met Kirby O'neil after their mail kept getting mixed up. Soon after tang shen's passing, kirby stepped up as the kid's uncle in a way. He is the embodiment of "he's confused but he's got the spirit!" because he is supportive of splinter, even if he doesnt understand everything. This is how the turtles also met april :> in splintskirt, mutants are known of. They are a huge minority in society instead of a secret from the world. They can do everything normal people can do, they just get a lot of hate for no goddamn reason.

Splinter is genderqueer. He uses he/she/they pronouns. He still has her turtle kids, but they are raised in a small apartment complex's basement rather than the sewers.

Splinter gets his money by working as a dish cleaner for a nearby pizza restaurant, but he also gets money by visiting clubs and seducing drunken people, and pickpocketing them. It never goes any farther than kissing, as Splinter is not interested in that. Splinter is demi-aro-ace, and just uses kissing people as a distraction. This is the main reason Splinter is so interested in skirts and dresses. Soon after the turtles were in his care and Splinter was desperate for money (which they were already struggling with), splinter realized that he got more money at clubs if people thought he was a girl. Her appearance is pretty androgynous other than her beard, so he shaved it off and started wearing skirts and dresses to clubs to seem more feminine. This kickstarted a gender crisis, and now Splinter is genderqueer.

Splintskirt's timeline takes place pretty early in the turtle's life. They are about 10-13 years old, so too young to be on their own, but still old enough to have decently developed personalities.

The biggest change is that none of them are ninjas. Splinter is still Asian, and the turtles were raised with cultural influence no doubt, but they have no need to learn how to fight, as the kraang and shredder are not huge plot points. Its more of a realistic setting imo, where shredder is like a mega toxic clingy ex-friend instead of a murder machine

[zerogate]

Many mystics, even in modern times, claim to be familiar with such an invisible network we humans can tap into. In his Autobiography of a Yogi, Paramahansa Yogananda recalls a curious and inspiring incident, which occurred as he made a bet with his brother in India (see Yogananda, 2003, pp. 93-101). After his brother Ananta scolded him for being foolish pursuing spiritual goals without backing up his life financially (‘Money first, God can come later!’), the yogi accepted the challenge of completing a journey without taking a single rupee with him, only relying on the Invisible Hand to provide for food and shelter. The brother stated the rules: no begging, no revealing of the situation to anyone, but if he can arrive without ever going without a meal or becoming stranded, he would become his disciple. Paramahansa Yogananda completed the challenge famously, proving for his family that he can sense and use a connection to all-there-is: a connection which sustains his life, helps him to survive and guides his way.

I came across my first suggestive evidence that humans may indeed use an invisible network on a larger scale, while doing research in South Africa. The topic of the thesis I worked on at that time was legal anthropology and as such unrelated, but a human rights lawyer I interviewed told me something unexpected. He was working together with the Sān (or Bushmen) people (the indigenous hunter-gatherers of Southern Africa) on a close, intensive basis. One day the Sān took him on a hunt, during which – the lawyer observed – they always knew in what bush or behind which tree an animal was hiding, even if it wasn’t visible. Their predictions were so accurate that he started asking them about it. The Sān revealed that they felt a vibration in-between their eyebrows when the prey was nearby.

In his book The Lost World of the Kalahari, Laurens van der Post tells of a similar experience he had while hunting with the Bushmen. During this hunt, the Bushmen killed an eland, which was cause for great celebration. They said that the others who stayed behind at the camp will know about the kill by the time they return, because within the tribe they have an inbuilt, natural ‘wire’ (like the telegraph of the white man), which invisibly connects its members. Van der Post describes it as a humbling experience as they marched back and from afar in the dark, long before they were visible to the people home, they could already hear the people home singing the errand song (van der Post, 1962, pp. 236-237).

Other anthropologists who have studied the Sān with an open mind, similarly discovered that for this people, invisible ‘energies’ which convey information and/or power, are a normal part of their socially accepted reality. Anthropologist Bradford Keenly describes how Bushmen believe that there is a ‘silver stream of energy’ extending between them which allows for sending and receiving telepathic messages (Keenly cited by Mauro, 2015, p. 66). Lewis-Williams and Pearce (2004, pp. 104-105), who have done extensive work on San rock art correlating to certain altered states of consciousness, point out that those rock art images are not simply ‘pictures’ to be looked at and admired. They are deposits of a type of energy or power, which a ‘good person’ can access by placing his or her hand on the image.

Anecdotal evidence such as this can be found in abundance, not only with the San people. Loren McIntyre, the iconic National Geographic explorer and writer recalls an incident when he was lost in the Amazon region and ended up living with an uncontacted tribe for months. Even though they could not speak each other’s languages, he became so immersed in their – entirely different – culture that he found access to their ‘second language,’ a type of telepathy which he referred to as beaming (Popescu, 1991). Biologist Rupert Sheldrake has collected over five thousand case histories to illustrate this type of instinctual, telepathic communication. He thinks of this as part of our evolutionary heritage, which used to aid our survival and therefore works best in life-and-death, emergency or distress situations involving intense emotions (Sheldrake, 2004).

-- Jack Hunter (ed.), Greening the Paranormal: Exploring the Ecology of Extraordinary Experience

[rma1031]

Hermit Age: Scar

Hello! This post will be about my interpretation of Scar for my AU, Hermit Age!

If you wish to learn more about Hermit Age, go to the masterlist! It includes the gist of the AU, the interpretations of the Hermits as well as their friends, and more!

This interpretation is another long one!

CW for fantastic racism, mentions of purging, descriptions of violence, death, and blood. (All taking place early on in his story)

Appearance

Given how Scar was a real majestic and lovely elf in the earlier part of the current season of Hermitcraft, I am going to take elf Scar back because it just makes sense for the AU (also I just miss him). I will however keep his hair color and eye color for this AU.

(from this picrew)

From the picrew above, Scar would definitely have long hair. Besides that, I included scars on his face (well why wouldn't he have any?) that are from his hunts and fights against what creatures he's faced.

Body wise, he is taller than the average elf in Dragon Age and he has a normal body physique, with muscles fit for hunting.

His armor (unseen from the picrew) is Grey Warden based, taking pride as a Warden archer serving under the Warden-Commander of Ferelden (the Hero of Ferelden).

Not seen from the picrew as well is his vallaslin or his "blood writing" in Elven. It's essentially just a tattoo done on his face the moment he turned eighteen and proved himself worthy to the clan that he is ready for the responsibilities of an adult. Think of the vallaslin as a sentimental cultural tradition done by the Dalish for generations.

His vallaslin is dedicated to Andruil the Huntress, an elven goddess known also as the Lady of Fortune. For the Dalish, she represents their very survival.

(The Andruil vallaslin, simpler version)

Origins and History

Scar was born in the capital of the Kingdom of Ferelden, Denerim, within its impoverished slums dedicated for the elves known as an alienage. He was happy and rambunctious, reckless and free as a kid living within the walls of the place he only knows as home.

He would normally play with other children, get advice from the hahren ("elder" in Elven, the leader of the alienage) under the vhenadahl (the "tree of the people", a large tree of major symbolism and importance for city elves), and help his parents set up shop at their stall selling vegetables they grew in their little garden. For him, life was great even in squalor.

Scar knew the world outside is treacherous, with the humans outside of the alienage constantly threatening and discriminating the elves within. He was keen and observant enough to avoid talking to humans whenever necessary. He knew to always stay close to his family within the walls of their home.

But the home he always saw would die as well.

He was outside of the alienage when it happened. He was helping his older brother at a local inn, helping him do delivery runs. When they came back, to their horrors, they saw the worst of the alienage.

The purge happened overnight. Humans pillaged the alienage and set fire to the vhenedahl and the bodies of people they knew as well as strangers they have yet to meet littered the streets. Blood and anguish was everywhere.

Their parents were missing, and not so many managed to survive. With no time to get a reprieve and mourn, the elven community worked tirelessly to bring back their lives to normalcy, even if the grief and agitation overshadowed them all.

Even with their strong bonds to the alienage, the one thing keeping them there disappeared. With their home destroyed, their parents missing, and their possessions gone, Scar and his older brother felt as if they can't do much anymore in Denerim. All they could think was escape.

And so at the age of five, with the aid of the sympathetic community of the alienage (who gave them some food and clothing for their journeys), they left and escaped the city by night.

They have no clue of the world outside of the city, for the only thing they know is the city itself. Basking in glee for this newfound freedom, they took the road immediately, walking among what's foreign around them.

They headed south, past Dragon's Peak, eventually entering the Brecilian Forest on its outskirts.

They camped and settled for a few days, trying to live off of the land. They did what they can to survive, Scar in particular would start hunting for nugs with a knife he made out of iron back in Denerim. They were lucky to live like this as days turned into months, and yet this luck they've held would eventually disappear.

Winter came to the forest and their lives in the process were in peril. Without sufficient clothing or adequate food, they would die. Though snow never came, the frigid winds and cold weather encompassed the region.

Scar and his brother will die from the cold and yet by happenstance, a Dalish clan had come to their aid. The clan's sympathetic keeper took the two in with her hospitality and gave them a chance to live yet another day.

Throughout their time with the Dalish, they respected the best they can about their Dalish cousins, and they learned as well from them. Even as city elves, they were quick to understand their way of life, understanding what elven culture and tradition was left for their people.

When spring and summer came, they've stayed with the clan (at the request of the clan keeper) and learned to integrate themselves within this new part of their lives.

As Scar grew up, he learned to become a ranger, a hunter, someone who would keep his people safe and keep them fed. Nugs, wolves, bears, whatever creature he can fight with the bow he's been training,

The moment he turned eighteen, he got his vallaslin, dedicated to the elven goddess Andruil the Huntress, and the Lady of Fortune. He was now an adult to the eyes of his clan, and his brother couldn't have been more proud of him.

Through seven more years he was there for his clan, his new family, his new home. They treated him just like their own, even with his roots that stemmed from the cities. He loved his family and continues to do so, and he would do what it takes to be there for them.

By the events of Dragon Age Origins, the stories of the treachery of Loghain and the survival of the Grey Warden came to the ears and mouths of the clan. While Scar never really cared for the intricacies of Fereldan nobility and politics, the stories he's heard regarding the Grey Wardens ever since he was just a little child made him all the more curious of how the Warden would fight against the Archdemon and the Fifth Blight.

He would fight and defend his clan against the darkspawn, inspired by the Warden's perseverance. He developed his own strategies in fighting off the Archdemon's armies even as someone without the sense that Grey Wardens have on the darkspawn.

Eventually after the Fifth Blight, another time to recover and remake the kingdom came. Along with it is the regrowth of Ferelden's Grey Wardens. Recruiters came here and there, finding potential recruits around the kingdom, and one such came to Scar's clan.

Initially, Scar didn't join the Wardens as he had his people. But he would be eventually convinced, from not only those that recruited him but as well as the clan keeper and his brother, who told him to pursue his own way of life. He always does have a place to call home to come back.

He joined as a recruit, along with a few more, and two of them have started to become his friends, Grian and Mumbo.

The recruits are tested, given a task to bring back the blood of the darkspawn, a special piece of the puzzle of their Joining.

And when the ritual commenced, all of them drank from the chalice, filled with the blood of those they just destroyed.

Some tried to leave and resist, only to die by the blade. Some drank from the cup, only to die from the taint. And some just like Scar, Grian, and Mumbo, lived to tell the tale.

As newly officiated Wardens, their duties are for only a single purpose, to fight the darkspawn. And even if the Blight has just passed, they will always stand vigilant.

Even as a Warden, Scar will never forget his home, his clan and his family. But now he has a new place to call home, even if duty calls.

And through the years, before the events of Dragon Age Inquisition, Scar, Grian, and Mumbo stood side-by-side under the same command, as both friends and companions. This is their lives now and forever, until the taint takes them to their death.

Name

Scar's real name is "Skarrhel" but he has not used this name in many years. It was given to him by his parents but his childhood friends typically just called him "Skar".

When he and his brother escaped Denerim and got integrated with the Dalish clan they now call their new family, his name "Skarrhel" did stick but he preferred to be called "Skar" for simplicity and familiarity's sake.

When he joined the Grey Wardens, "Scar" became his name, a title named from the fact that he has numerous scars that dot his body. These scars came from his time as a hunter for his clan. He would fight bears, wolves, sylvans, spiders, and what more treacherous creatures he could find in the forest he used to hunt in. This new name didn't really matter since it did exactly sound the same with his preferred name.

Only Mumbo and Grian knows of his true name but everyone still just calls him "Scar" or "Skar" (they sound the same so the distinction is really going to be apparent in writing only).

Personality

Scar is a man of creativity and imagination. He always has something planned out in what he sees and envisions. Give him an environment to see and he can detail it for you with ease. He has a love for making and creating and always exhibits this through little drawings on his own journal that he carries.

He is also very friendly and charismatic and has an approachable nature, having a silver tongue to charm and persuade people. This is however less apparent to complete strangers, where he has shown more caution with, attributed by his past dealing with discrimination from humans.

He has a knack for trickery and mischief, added with the fact that he is with Mumbo and Grian. The trio (especially between Grian and Scar) will make jokes, play tricks and prank unsuspecting people when they can. He does this lightheartedly of course.

Scar typically suffers from his reckless and clumsy behavior. This can take place anywhere, in combat or outside of it.

He strongly holds onto the idea of family, friendship, and companionship. From his community back in the alienage to the family he grew up in for a good amount of his life in the clan and the friends and companions he has made in the Grey Wardens, Scar knows to himself that these people are what he will always be endearing for. And with the lifelong commitment of being in the Grey Wardens, Scar will take into heart the people he cares for throughout what will remain in his life.

Equipment and Combat

For armor, Scar makes use of Grey Warden medium armor that can secure him some protection while still allowing him freedom for movement. Along with it is a dark blue hood that he may or may not use. Though the armor is blue and grey, Scar added on it some green and yellow Dalish designs, patterns, and motifs to show his upbringing.

As for his weapon, he uses his longbow to fight off enemies. Having grown up as a hunter for his clan, he learned naturally how to use a bow and how to shoot with it efficiently and effectively. He balances speed with precision, accuracy, and power, allowing for an effective takeout of his enemies from a distance. The longbow he uses is a refurbished and remade version of the old longbow that was made by his clan's craftsmaster. Like it was from before, it was made from sylvanwood.

Like other rogues, he carries a thieves' kit, always good to use when he needs to do some thievery or disarm traps.

In combat, Scar excels with his bow. His balanced and open approach in shooting his enemies with every arrow shot is effective and efficient. He may shoot defensively at one point, fight with focus using accuracy and precision, or finish his enemies with agility.

A keen eye and observant perception helps him know the best method of action in dealing with enemies from both afar and near.

What troubles him in combat though is his reckless behavior and clumsiness. When he fights, he will fight. He doesn't know when to take the retreat up until someone like Grian or Mumbo calls him out to get back. He may also just take on an aggressive approach with no care for himself, making it all the more troublesome for himself.

Clumsiness on the other hand is prevalent. He never knows which step to take correctly and he may end up in a trap or he may trip over something and fall. Even with his lithe and agility, he never learned to look at the floor. Normally his companions are there to guide his every step.

That's it for Scar!

As always, if you want to know more about the world of Dragon Age, the wiki is always helpful!

[starsambrosia]

Tw mentions of sa/abuse/trauma

I was talking with Uncle Zeus tonight...5am

I asked if he wanted me to write something or go to bed, he wants me to write before bed.

Ooh boy, yknow im partially scared about being open here since ive gone so long being sorta super abused for opening my mouth about this, but i lost a lot to get here yknow.

Im not some dumbass pretending or role-playing, i lost family, friends, a girl i thought i loved more than anything, my religon crumbled before my eyes, ive been abused, assulted, forced into some nasty shit. All because i opened my mouth about this.

You dont belive me? Check divination, ask Zeus yourself, i dont care anymore because what else can be done to me. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. And i know why he wants me to speak, i was so afraid so anxious to join pagan group or talk on here so scared to be flamed or outcast.

What can you do to me that the ones i loved most havent already done. Nothing. Whats some online dramma if it means i can finally open my mouth and express the things ive seen and felt.

It's been 6 years now since Apollo appeared to me, when i was a devout christian in training to be a prophet of "god"

Do you know how long i ran frome this??? Do you have any idea how long i fought them how many other pantheons i ran to and was booted out of, how many times Loki downright pushed me back to the greek pantheon, essentially saying "yeah this isnt my kid"

So much doubt and fear so much pain.

For the people who fake it, why? Why. This is hell this hurts this aches this has brought me unimaginable pain. I wanted so bad to just be normal to just be literally a normal ass dude.

I have lived in constant torture for so long. Day and night nothing but violation and suffering. I am a shell of what i was. And i have to heal so, so much, and i will never be the same. And even with all of that, im happier now...than i ever was christian.

I actually feel loved by them, supported, cared for. I feel bad i fought them for so long about this, i feel guilty that for so many years i shut them off saying it was hubris while they constantly patiently guided me over and over and over proving again and again that it was true and i couldnt run forever.

Its ok

Im scared, but thats ok

I'll be ok. People are entitled to their belifes and i know mine is controversial i know i might not be taken as seriously even though i dedicated so much time so so much time meditating, learning divination, channleing, banishments, hellenism as a whole as well as greek mythos and even teaching, reiki healing, greek cultural studies and history i put forth so much time and effort and study because i doubt I'm who they say i am and i fear so much that i am lying that one day Zeus will smite me for my audacity.

But, they havent.

Instead I'm embraced, met with love, care, encouragement, they get exasperated when i try to fall back to being a follower, they chastize me for it, i cant worship i cant do shit that followers can i am outcast from pagan groups because im looked at as a fraud or a scammer or an idiot when ive dedicated so much time to studying and learning just desprately trying to understand why im like this.

And yknow what

Thats fine

Everyone has their path, everyone has a right to belive, and I've met other demigods, ive seen them and ive done divination and theyr legit.

And anyways this is my blog i should be able to say whatever i want

If i can say stupid bullshit 24/7 why cant i actually express what i genuinely belive and hold very close to myself.

I pledged myself, mind, body, and soul to Lord Zeus, King of the gods.

If he sees fault in my actions he has and will punish me. I am more and more confident every day in who exactly i am.

And ive been through too much bullshit to stay silent any longer.

Thats my ted talk

[jawsofbalmung]

Am asking about the dgs kids

YAY! restating my warnings from the previous post: explanation contains passing mentions of (trans)mpreg, all of my dgs polycule ships (but specifically homuryu and baroaso), and does mention rape (outside of the polycule ships). and dgs spoilers! putting under a cut for all that and cause its probably gonna be long! im gonna give profiles for each character like they are in the fangame au (which takes place roughly 20 years after the end of dgs2):

Ryuzou Naruhodo

Age: 20

Gender: Male

Occupation: Private detective

Parents: Herlock Sholmes and Ryunosuke Naruhodo

Descendant: Phoenix Wright

A wickedly smart, yet playful and trickstery young man who is very family-oriented, and very full of love. Because of the strange web of family he was born into, with so many lawyers and detectives and forensic experts, he became very desensitized to crime and murder and loves his life's work of investigating, though is scarily nonchalant about it sometimes. Makes friends very naturally.

Fun fact: Most people, including family friends, are under the impression that Ryuzou is actually Ryunosuke's baby cousin, since Sholmes is stealth trans, and covered up the time he was staying inside when he was pregnant by saying that he took a trip to Japan to retrieve Ryunosuke's cousin, who needed a new home. He looks a decent amount like Sholmes, but they brush that off as a coincidence.

Genshin & Klint van Karuma

Age: 18

Gender: Twin males

Occupation: Joint prosecutors

Parents: Barok van Zieks and Kazuma Asogi

Descendants: Manfred and Franziska von Karma

Twin prosecutors with highly refined sword skills who operate in tandem in court and are ruthlessly headstrong and quick as a whip. Klint is a conceited, scathing, and self-serving person in court, but down to earth and polite outside of court. Genshin is quiet and unpredictable, but kind and actually somewhat funny either way. They consider Ryuzou and Iris as their siblings, as their dads' polycule forms one big family.

Fun fact: They were named as they were because Barok and Kazuma could not agree with each other on anything, and this was the middle ground. Including their last name, which would become refined to von Karma later on. There's also an old Japanese legend that soulmates that die together will come back as twins in the next life. So. Peep those names 👀

Cordelia Blackquill

Age: 22

Gender: Female

Occupation: Prosecutor

Parents: Kazuma Asogi and Mael Stronghart (out of rape), adopted out as an infant to another family.

Descendants: Simon and Aura Blackquill

Cordelia is sharp-tongued, yet proper and upright. Her adoptive family loved her and raised her well, but she's still inexplicably a loose canon with a bone to pick with nearly everyone. But especially her birth "mother", whom she considers to be a coward for giving her up, since she doesn't know the full story behind everything. She taught herself swordplay specifically so when she finally tracked down her "mother", she could challenge "her" to a duel... Upon meeting her, Kazuma figures out pretty quickly who she is, and thinks this vendetta against him is somewhat hilarious. He is considering dueling her just for fun. Cordelia also gets along really well with Genshin and Klint, not knowing of course that they're half-siblings.

Fun fact: Growing up, Simon and Aura thought that the huge portrait of Grandma Cordelia in the foyer was absolutely awesome, and she must have been the coolest person in the world based on the absolute batshit stories they heard about her. Even into adulthood, Aura would scold Simon by saying "do you want to piss off grandma cordelia??"

Now for the non-love children of the fangame au:

Gabriel Victor

Age: 23

Gender: Male

Occupation: Defense attorney

A timid country boy from rural England, who moved to London recently to practice law, and make money to send home for his sick sister. A somewhat sheltered, but ultimately extremely normal young man who is completely culture-shocked not only by the city, but by Ryuzou and his incomprehensible family. Easily scared, but embarrassed about it.

Fun fact: He's the protagonist of this fan game :) Ryuzou is just his hired detective, since Gabe sucks at observational skills.

Elizabeth Foucalt

Age: 16

Gender: Female

Occupation: Weird Little Girl Judicial assistant

A quirky weirdo of a teen who works as one of Iris Sholmes's many lab assistants, and has a penchant for the macabre. Prodigy levels with math and science, kinda dumb with reasoning, and mostly just along for the ride for fun, and moral support.

Fun fact: She started following them around because she thought Gabriel was cute when they first met, but by the end of their first case together, she realized he was lame and dropped her crush. He never even seemed to realize. But court was fun, so she stuck with that.

Daesong Jun

Age: 28

Gender: Male

Occupation: Defense attorney

Descendants: Gregory and Miles Edgeworth

A strong-built, young, single dad from Korea. His daughter, Haneul, is only 4. Came to London after his wife died, and made friends with the protagonists by becoming a mentor of sorts to Gabriel. His daughter, as an adult, moved to America and married a man named Edgeworth, and had a child named Gregory.

Fun fact: Unbeknownst to Daesong, Ryuzou had a huge crush on him in the short time that he was in London, and even drafted out a letter confessing his love, but never worked up the courage to send it, nor the heart to throw it away. Generations later, Phoenix would find that letter in a box in his attic, and showed it to Miles, and they laughed about how their families were always meant to be intertwined :)

I don't need profiles for them cause y'all already know them, but our police detective is 38 yr old Gina Lestrade, with a packet of fish and chips, and an old green coat, and a big dog named Toby Jr. and our forensics expert is 30 yr old Iris Sholmes (Ryuzou and the twins' sister) with a whole lab full of kooky weird assistants and bubbling beakers and the like. She confuses and entrances Gabriel the most out of all of Ryuzou's family.

[studentofetherium]

inhuman beings in my monster girl world

i'm bored so have more infodumping about my monster girl world lol

while my monster girl world has a lot of diversity of form, from bland normal humans to harpies to kemonomimi to mermaids, etc, there's also things that are decidedly Different And Weird. most of these still fit in a biological structure, but not all of them

the closest to humans is ghosts, who technically are not a unique species of monster girl, but rather a genetic mutation. someone with that mutation will live a perfectly normal human life for however long they do, but when they die, they become ghosts. since ghosts are incorporeal, they've been remarkably difficult to study, however, in recent years, scientists have begun to study the genetic mutation that causes it. still, very little is known about it, such as why it happens in the first place or what ghosts really are. regardless of the science behind them, they exist. compared to every other species of monster girl, ghosts are incredibly recent, only dating back a little over a thousand years. theoretically, given enough time, this mutation could become a species of its own, but the mutation isn't beholden to one geographic region, which in concert with it being a recessive gene and not having any physical signs of its existence during life, makes it unlikely that it will ever be anything more than it already is

socially, ghosts occupy an odd position. a lot of people, particularly religious people in the US, pretend they don't exist. depending on the culture, ghosts will exhibit different behaviors, such as staying with their family and continuing to live with them like nothing has changed, while others will totally abandon their lives and go do whatever they want (ghosts can change their form at will, so most in that latter category have been trans at some point or another). ghosts will eventually fade from reality, but getting to that point can take hundreds of years, and the process itself can take hundreds more

but ghosts are only the most human of these "least human" monster girls

shapeshifters lack consistent form. they must maintain the same body mass, but otherwise, their form is entirely mutable; still, if only for social purposes, most take a humanlike form. the closest shapeshifters have to a "default" form is the body they're born with, which resembles a human with the features sanded off. however, nearly immediately, a shapeshifter will start taking on the form of whatever is nearby. it will take years before this fully settles down. shapeshifters lack one. shapeshifters also lack one single biological sex, being able to change themselves to their desire. socially, they still subscribe to a binary gender system, since that's what humans and a majority of monster girls species use, but changelings themselves are by and large and genderfluid, playing both sides of the binary at different times in their life, and frequently, somewhere in the middle. shapeshifters originally came from the Americas, but in the hundreds of years since European discovery of the Americas, they've immigrated across the globe and can be found everywhere, although the Americas are still where they are most common. since changelings have a corporeal form, scientists have been able to research them more, but if anything, less is known about them than ghosts, because every aspect of their bodies are volatile and thus difficult to study

more concrete than changelings are slimes, who are a human/mushroom fusion. similarly to changelings, slimes lack a single definitive form, although they are more stable than changelings, and more limited in the forms they can take. when they are born, when they die, and when a slime is sufficiently overwhelmed, their current form will collapse and their body will coalesce into an ovaloid shape. slimes are liquidous. this means that it's possible to poke a slime and pierce their skin, and also that slimes can subsume things that are smaller than them. slimes taking in more water can make them grow temporarily. slimes produce asexually, splitting off their body to create two identical copies. these forms are younger and have their personalities reset, and thus, both copies are considered new people compared to the original. however, slimes reproducing asexually does not necessarily mean that they are asexual. inthe past, slimes and changelings were seen as a single species, but with the advent of modern science, the idea is laughable. however, they are still both included in this non-biological meta category of malleable-form monster girls

the last "species" in this category are elementals. nobody really knows what an elemental is. they've existed throughout all of human memory. little or nothing is understood of their biology and based on what is known, they don't conform to the biology of any other species on earth. some even suspect they are extradimensional beings. elementals lack the ability to communicate with humans, or the ability to verbalize in a recognizable manner at all, meaning that to communicate with humans, they need to use methods like sign language or written word. this has helped many elementals fit in with the rest of civilization, although many still prefer to live among elementals or live alone

elementals are found quite literally on earth, including places that no other life should be found, such as inside volcanoes, inside glaciers, at the heart of inhospitable deserts, or in the freezing cold. this is because elements take form from "elements". the name itself is something of an outdated misnomer, as they don't necessarily stick to pure elements, but rather have bodies constructed out of any number of materials, including water, fire, earth, or wind, but also including less traditional concepts such as metals or leaves. historically, dryads were considered dryads, but literally any amount of research done shows them to be completely alien to each other

[skullshoal]

Very long post about reading don’t burn me on a stake please also

i read gideon the ninth (and harrow the ninth) last year bc people i follow were drawing stuff about it that got me interested and they were such good books and i remembered how much i love reading and how i hadn’t read in like. 5 years lol. So i’ve been trying to read more. I’ve really struggled with finding new books though. I used to just walk into a library and find something on the shelf and enjoy it but that feels impossible in the adult fiction section. Like half the adult fiction is boring. And my local library is organized...like a nightmare. idk there are just like all different types of fiction mixed together and it feels impossible to like wander into a subsection of a genre bc next to one book that seems ok is 4 about being like prairie farmers or some shit you know. I tried to use like online suggestions for books similar to gideon in genre but 99% of them the library doesn’t have and after checking out like 2-3 books that seemed really interesting but then i just couldn’t get into and stay interested in i just kinda gave up.

so anyway. I decided recently bc i really like reading to reread my fav children’s series since i own all of them, fablehaven. I read the first one and still really enjoyed it! It’s not...free of problems. I have been trying very hard to be a lot more conscious with how I read. When I was a kid i didn’t even know racial stereotypes put on fantasy races was like. a thing. I was very sheltered from fantasy writing and movies (raised catholic) and while i’m only half white my white mom raised me mostly in a white school in white southern american culture so like. I just. Didn’t even know. I didn’t know gay people existed until middle school. I didn’t know trans people existed until highschool. But anyway my point is like. racially charged and transphobic and homophobic depictions completely went over my head this is not excusing them obviously i have learned but like. idk. anyway.

So i’ve been trying to pay attention to how the creatures and people are described and decide for myself if it’s bad and I think the hardest part is trying to decide if a normal racial description is like. Weird? Charged? The books are written by a white person and centered on two white kids and their family. Their are supporting poc characters. I don’t think they are handled incredibly well to be honest. The first book has their grandparents house keeper Lena who is Asian and mostly its fine besides the occasional hmmmm that’s really weird! Example she just like offhandedly says her dead husband was of the “Asian persuasion” ie fetishizing Asians. I’m probably a third of the way into the second book and their is a Samoan character. I think I struggle with knowing what crosses a line and what doesn’t. The character is a potion maker and is generally treated with respect i think??? The descriptions of goblins are probably racist. They aren’t “greedy” but they do have close to the stereotypical goblin physical description. Most of the other fantasy creatures when they are “evil” or something are described as bad for not racially ambiguous reasons like inhuman limbs and sores and smells. I feel like even though I’m reading a children’s book i am literally terrible at reading subtext. It’s hard to come to terms with that. I have dyslexia and autism but i was always told i was good at reading until i became an adult and realized I am actually just kind of OK at reading. I am good at literary analysis according to school but I don’t feel like I am. Idk where this is going mostly I just wanted to get my thoughts down because they have been mulling over in my mind while i read these books. i Am still enjoying the books. I bought and read them a long time ago and have basically forgotten most of the plot. I like fantasy and i LOVE fantasy that says magic exists hidden in our world like fablehaven and percy jackson. anyway. If you read this thanks i love you. please don’t be mean to me this blog is my personal diary

[tentacledtherapist]

Lisa,

Perhaps the 'your' goes unspoken? (I, too, am teasing you!)

The "Wild West" is such a bizarre concept, as someone deeply into history, the actual "Wild West" was such a short lived thing, but to be fair, still took up a decent chunk of our country's history (considering it is only about 250 years old so about 1/5 of the time spent as a legitimate country). I have (distant, estranged) family out in the South West, which to me is the only place the Wild West still sort of lives on. The Gold Rush itself is such a strange cultural clash in and of itself. Both eras really feel like a gross misrepresentation of what they were actually like, but also such a huge part of American Heritage. (You can blame old Westerns for that!) Having one of the little towns in the East is definitely weird, especially since its literally the New England Area. This place is a frigid wasteland, so seeing the cold sand and empty fake western town makes it feel REALLY haunted. On days where it functions normally it's still a fun little attraction (weirdly themed mini golf included) but if I could visit it when its closed, I would, just to explore it a little more in depth. (It doesn't help someone actually got shot for real there, but thats another story.)

I agree about your tastes, I enjoy things that delve into the human psyche, the human nature, especially darker aspects, but even more so the light within the darker aspects. One of my favorite things are the Ethical Vampire or the Ethical Werewolf conundrums. The idea that your darkness, a darkness normally hidden within humans, is forced to the forefront and in a nearly uncontrollable manner. And having someone love you regardless, these raw things that traditionally humans and society have told you are inherently evil and wrong or sick are, not necessarily okay, but are not unlovable. There is such a beauty in that. And even if it doesn't surround a love story, the individuals will to stay strong and protect their morals and their humanity...? Its beautiful.

I also love the Friendly Ghost dynamic as well, it pairs well with death and the maiden, but it has more to it to me than that. Its that continuation of love and caring after death. Where passing on was maybe wholly possible but the ghost's love of humanity keeps them around. Or even just a ghost, a powerless thing, desperately trying to help those who cannot be helped. The idea of a bystander who wants nothing more than to tell you it is okay but cannot speak a word? I love that.

- (Your) Creature

P.s.: I would bap you back but tumblr won't let me put an image in the ask :(

🐈‍⬛🐾🐾🐾

creech,

i can totally blame old westerns for the romanticization of that whole era. every other street or building in my town is named for some western movie star and there’s museums for them everywhere? it’s a little overwhelming if you’re not used to it. every older person in town sort of Worships these movie stars and the culture of ‘The Wild West.’ like,,, we live in suburbia. there is nothing wild here. your house has a white picket fence and you get freaked out at a Chicken. and all this is ignoring the whitewashing of ‘the wild west’ but that’s a whole different thing that i’m sure you’re aware of—

i like new england, though. maybe my perspective is skewed ‘cause i’ve only visited and never lived there long term, but i like the older styles of architecture that’s a lot of places, and i like the (relative) abundance of public transport? and i’m perpetually Warm so the concept of living somewhere cooler long term is appealing, i guess? the desert of the west coast and the humidity of the southeast are both Sweltering

anyway,

i think the little weird finds are always the most fun? even if they’re creepy in the off season. we have christmas and winter themed parks here and they’re really weird to see in 125 degree heat in the middle of summer too? though… i don’t know if anyone got shot at any of those places—

as for the ‘tropes’ you brought up:

yes yes yes yes yes!!!!

ethical darkness, ethical inhumanity, all of it is such a fantastic way to explore what really is humanity! it’s not exactly an example of the trope, but i read this book last year that was about cannibalism? which is a great start to this tangent— anyway, it was About Cannibalism, but really it was more about how connection to others is inherently going to cause damage to the other, but to go without connection will cause destruction of the self? humans can’t exist with others without rubbing up against each other in all the wrong ways at times, and so often we give up parts to fit with the people we want to keep with us? the connection sustains us and we take those parts of other people and use them to help us grow? if you’ve ever adopted some silly turn of phrase a friend says frequently, isn’t that just a form of consumption of them?

but, to deprive yourself of that connection because you don’t want to hurt anyone, because you can’t stand the darkness and the mistakes and the inevitable hurt that comes from being a human and taking parts of others, you just turn that urge inwards and end up cannibalizing yourself?

again, not exactly the perfect fit for that trope, but one i found fascinating and kept revisiting.

the book was called “bones and all” and i highly recommend it if you can stomach some really visceral descriptions of cannibalism and stuff. i think they made the book into a movie somewhat recently, but it has an actor i don’t really love in it so i haven’t seen it

- Your Lisa

[alexsfictionaddiction]

Review: Normal Women by Ainslie Hogarth

With a cover like that, you'll know that I was completely powerless in resisting giving it a read. I haven't actually read Hogarth's previous novel Motherthing, despite seeing it making the rounds on social media but it is on my TBR. This was my first 2024 release and I'm really excited to see what the rest of the year has in store!

Dani couldn't wait to be a stay at home mum to little Lotte but now she is worried that if her husband Clark should die, they would be destitute. But then Dani discovers The Temple, a yoga studio run by the alluring, mysterious Renata who tells Dani that it's not just yoga classes that The Temple offers. It also offers its visitors the chance to reach their true potential and allows them to take whatever steps they need to get there. Could this finally be the career path for Dani? Just as she is about to get started, Renata goes missing and Dani becomes determined to find out what's happened.

The book talks about traditional gender roles and how men and women wish to be perceived. Clark cares about being the voice of reason in the family and would never dream of going along with the hare-brained scheme that has his wife so captivated. However, Clark doesn't enforce this dynamic -it appears that he and Dani have naturally fallen into it whether that's due to societal expectations or not.

Dani also compares herself to her female friends, their experiences of childbirth and subsequent relationships with their husbands. This culture of constant competition and comparison between women is so recognisable and yet so unhealthy. Even though we know it's unhealthy to compare our lives, we still do it.

Hogarth writes about motherhood a lot and I can only imagine there is much of the same commentary in her other book Motherthing. Normal Women paints a largely positive picture of being a mother, despite admitting that it is all-consuming and potentially a huge identity sucker. However, Dani loves being a mother and the tone of the novel is very much that everything she works for is worth it.

The Temple is a unique place and I have no idea whether anything like it exists in real life. It's not clear whether the thought behind their mission is based on anything scientific or whether it is just observational but it is a really fascinating idea. There's not really any denying the truth in what they preach but whether it can be fixed via their methods of teaching them compassion and sensitivity is questionable. Again, it doesn't really become clear over the course of the novel but I'd like to think it goes some way to 'healing' these men.

The humour and voice is snarky and therefore probably isn't to everyone's taste. I laughed a few times and could definitely relate to various parts of Dani's narration but it was also tinged with a bit of sadness. It was the same melancholy that often descends when a marriage or long term relationship is depicted as a 'habit' rather than a choice but I understand that these relationships definitely exist.

There are some really profound parts that really resonated with me and the above exchange between Dani and Renata was one of those. These women actively reflect on their place in the world and how it affects their lives. I am certain that there are so many readers (not just female ones) who genuinely feel that they are 'not good at this world'.

Normal Women was a funny, honest look at female labour and how it's treated by capitalism. I was actually quite disappointed that the mystery wasn't a more prominent part of the book or that the resolution wasn't more dramatic, as I think that could have delivered further, darker messages about the treatment of women. However, I really enjoyed following Dani through the course of the book and reflecting on its themes.

Normal Women by Ainslie Hogarth will be published by Atlantic Books on 4th January 2024.

[helpish-blog-blog]

WHAT ARE THEY FEEDING US.

Social media feeds have become so fucking boring. I spend more time searching than I do consuming. it feels like thats intentional. Like the tech companies give us what we want via algorithms sure, but it also feels like they through in stuff they know we won’t like to keep us scrolling.

I have said it before and I will say it again, podcasts are the last place we have true freedom of art. The rss feed has all but been killed off. even Spotify is trying to kill it off in favor of propriety feeds and exlusives.

It wasn’t that long ago that it felt like exclusive art on the internet was not a thing that could really survive. And yes I said art not “content”

But now we are seemingly foaming at the mouth for walled gardens. We could live in a world where I distribute my art to multiple platforms and people partake depending on the platform they use. This is of course how podcasts work. But no. I am told I must make different “content” for all platforms. And those thumbnails better be on point. I better get my SEO on point… I have already heard this story grandpa.

It’s the same old song and dance. Up the requirements for relevancy to the point you can only have success if you have a large amount of free time and resources and ability. And typically one only has these things if they also have a tremendous amount of privilege, usually passed down through family. So, the people that succeed start to look a lot like each other and a lot like the successful people of the past.

That is the cycle we need to break. I dont think it’s some master plan or some grand conspiracy. It is just how systems of supremacy work. From the patriarchy to white supremacy classism these things all survive because of the systems. And every once in a while a new system poops up that looks like it may finally topple supremacy and quickly rules and requirements of success come in to make it hard for those without privileges to succeed.

Western music theory, proper grammar, universities, best bussiness practices, proper manners, universities, churches, and now social media engagement, SEO, content monitization… these are all set up to make sure only those with privilege can truly succeed and the the about privilege is that its number one priority is to stay privileged.

The ability to subscribe to and follow any is the biggest threat to all of this. So thats why I am not surprised that on nearly all social media platforms follower counts matter less and less and you are lucky if you get your “content pushed to more than 10 percent of your audience. No. Wait. No. You are not lucky. You are privileged.

Instagram just released a new app called threads. It’s a twitter clone but its killer feature was to instantly follow everyone you follow on instagram now on threads. But dont get it twisted and think you are actually able to follow people in any sort of normal real time way. THEY LAUNCHED WITH NO FOLLOWING FEED. Those followings are just used to fee the algorithm to serve you what they think you want and continuously scrolling.

They had a real opportunity for a stable enriching platform. But that is not the internet we have right now. We have an internet and a culture that will gladly sacrifice stability for growth. But non stop growth is no way to live. it doesn’t support actually life. Just ask…cancer.

And guess what? It’s your fault. It’s my fault. It’s our fault. We just accept it and it’s probably the most destructive thing in our society. Look it’s not bad to using algorithms to serve new things, the way streaming sites do based on what you’ve watch and on what people who watch what you watch also watch. But imagine if you opened up Netflix and it only showed you random episodes based on an algorithm.

It’s not good for us. None of this is good for us. It’s all way too damn much.

Internet 2.0 was this great promise and it was centered around a thing called an rss feed. A url that was updated every time a creator released something. This was the backbone of blggon and podcasts and YouTube and later Facebook and twitter. The problem is when private companies went public and the pressure for monetization came in to play.

It went like this.

We need to make money. How?

Ads.

Ok. So we sneak them into the feed.

There is a problem though. We can’t clog up the feed with ads. And if Mary sue only follows 15 people she’s only spending an hour or 2 an our platform so she is only getting an add or 2 a day.

Ok then let’s also show in her feed any post the people she follows comments on. And let’s add groups or forums or trending topics to generate more comments. The more comments we get the more posts show up in the feed.

Now we have a lot more content all of a sudden. Let’s do some research on what kinds of content gets more people to comment on and push that to the top of feeds.

While we are at that research thing can we also find out what gets people addicted to commenting and coming back to see who responded?

Ok. Thats working. Now people are spending a lot more time on our platforms and we can serve more ads.

Ya know now that we have all this data I bet we could write some code that replaces the rss feed with a new kind of feed that serves what ever is going to get the most engagement and keeps people addicted to our platform.

Well that worked. But some of our advertisers don’t nt like how easy it is for certain kinds of content to gain traction and there are certain kinds of people they don’t want having that kind of power. Can we do something about that?

Sure. We can prioritize things in the algorithm feed that make it easier for certain kinds of people to succeed. Then we can pay people to follow these rules and then push their content. We will make them sign an NDA so no one knows and make sure to make it look like organic growth. Then people will follow those rules and start to censor themselves.

And now we have things like “corn” instead of porn or the over use of the term unloving entering the vocabulary of society in a huge way. I am even starting to see people unnecessarily censor them selves in private because it’s become such a huge part of our culture. All because advertisers want you on your best behavior so you can help them sell more products.

Dont get it twisted. Y’all aint content creators you are an advertising platform.

Look I am futurist. A progressive. So I dont say this lightly. We need to turn things back a bit. Or it’s going to be the emotional and spiritual death of us. We need to bring back true followers. Subscriptions. Enrollment. We need to reject scroll culture. We need to get back to picking who we let into our feeds. Feeds are here to stay. But a feel should be a delivery system not the product itself.

Sharing something and following or subscribing to someone should be a meaningful activity. What we pay attention to and what we share with each other is a core of our identity and culture and we need to have ownership of it.

So how do we the “content consumers” do something about all this. It starts with intention. Asking how this behavior helps you or could help you to help someone else whether its insightful ness, silliness, entertainment, education or whatever.

When you share something on social media that someone else made dont just simply share the link. Add a caption. Share why this was impactful enough for you to want to share. If you can’t come up with a reason consider that maybe it’s not worth sharing. Not everything is and thats ok. It’s ok to create or consume things you dont share.

I promise if you limit yourself to 1 or 2 hours a day of short form social media a day not only will your happiness and social media experience improve the way you use it will change.

Embrase long form content. Consider that maybe your resistance to long form well thought out content with lots of context and nuance is not because of your shout attention span but perhaps an addiction to short instantly gratifying content created to get you used to consuming ad length content.

Aint that a bitch? Think about it. We are all basically just watching commercials all day long now. Not just short video but even the way we present text and pictures is set up like an ad. Everything is an add. So many you dont even noticed how many ads are being served to you.

I feel like “influencers” just make ads. Not just for products but ads for joining their “community” which is of course cuz advertisers figured out that community and culture are how trends are set. People like us do things like this.

And now there is this fear of long term content but I think it’s actually some bullshit. It’s not fear it’s junky behavior. Its weird justifications to not admit we are addicted to short form instant gratification.

I dont can’t commit to a 3 hour movie but I will binge watch 30 minute episodes like it’s my actual job for 8 hours.

I dont have time for that 2 hour podcast but I will spend 6 hours watching TikTok videos.

Can’t respond to my friends long ass book of a text who desperately needs connection but nah I can totally talk to strangers on the internet for 5 hours.

And then we act like we fucking know something. We know nothing.

They got us chasing being an influencer just they like did chasing being a rock star or business man. It was all made up then and it’s all made up now. If you give a shit about your well being and integrity you face an uphill slog covered in boulders that crushed those that crushed the souls of those that came before you. Even if you think you are not chasing influencer culture you should take inventory cuz I got some bad news for you… we al are.

They took this wonderful phrase “it aint what you know it’s who you know” and twisted it into this weird middle school social game of hierarchy. Perhaps we should update that. It’s not who you know its who you have a relationship with. Who claims you. Who is enrolled in the outcome of you being you.