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carndriverrecords · 5 years

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First Blog Post 3/20/20

Started CnD Records today. Feels Good.

Working on some diss tracks. Not sure if they see it coming - doesn’t matter either way.

Planning to release Car and Driver first real record this Friday 3/20/20. Driving Test Driver Fest 1.

Self release first record - another 20 tracks next week. Compile top 10 - 15 for first release with other label - thinking Terrible, Kranky, blu ish label or Thrill Jockey. Citrus City a no-go for now. Maybe just keep building CnD records.

Be the middle man - take advantage of opportunities without sacrificing my bands’ (and those I represent) integrity.

Reach sleep destroyer.

Last night at Ted’s - great DJ set. Kidz bop remixes, Fancy. Crowd hated it. Ted disappointed we had to leave but it’s ok with everyone. Tall guy took aux right out of computer, have video. Started dancing - cucked everyone. Everyone thinks they’re the crazy charismatic guy. Am I actually? I think so. Syd thinks so.

CnD Fest 2 , 3 , 4 at Purchase and beyond. Would like to play apartments, Scully’s den in BK (reach out) and Philly, DC etc.

Next voice memo album - 20 - 25 tracks right now. Better than the first. Danny said best album ever.

Working on “My oh Maia Reason Why” video - my favorite video I’ve ever seen. Getting good feedback.

Important to collab with certain SUNY people before I go:

Members of Lip Critic, Dawson, Neal, Gabe.

Send stuff back and forth with Joseph Kress.

Need to write song about not sharing a stage w unstable Car and Driver - cost me 2 gigs. Ok because I had the police interaction that night.

Things have been working out quite well. Syd is keeping me in check. Main priorities are keep the energy going while I can and make sure everyone around me is comfortable with me doing my thing, specifically mom, sofia.

Going to Only Angels tomorrow to collab with Alex.

Tues/Wed in RI with Zach Gorton. Need to see Nick Holcomb, Sofia, Will Orchard if he’s around. Riley in Boston? Would love to.

Visit Dad soon on the way to Richmond, in a few weeks perhaps. Grandma Roberta etc. They have a BBQ place now - I bet it’s great.

Follow up in the morning (3 hours from now) with wedding band, Kevin Daniels, drummer etc.

Film sunrise sessions at Purchase: My Ride’s Here, Splendid Isolation, Keep me in your heart, Studebaker, Cat’s in the Cradle, Everybody that you know. Don’t think twice, Boots of Spanish Leather, Someday my Prince, Teenage Dirtbag, Arthur (Woof Woof), Forget You, Signed Sealed Delivered, Superstition, The Promise, Hold me now (TT), Love on Top, Townes Van Zandt, 1-800 superstar, Evan Wright, Tom Petty, Blinded By the Light, Searching for a Heart, Mag Field’s, Barenaked Ladies, TMBG, Dolly Parton one sided love, Byrds, Beatles, Kinks, Stones, Parquet Courts, T Swift (Red, Way I loved you), Mitski, Sasami, Anything Could Happen, Beach House, He Needs Me, These Days, YLT, Beach Boys, Big Star Take Care, G500/Luna, Felt, Psychic TV, Shelia, BJM, Yellow Sarong, Over and Over, Hazel St, Heatherwood, Helicopter, He Would’ve Laughted, I wanna be your lover, The pump, Good enough (sleep destroyer), Them airs, BH (14, indian summer), help me scrape mucus off my brain), Beach Comber, DO YOUR THING, Icehead, Bobby, 1000 times, WIll Orchard, Bon Iver, MGMT, Tame impala, Instant Crush, etc. Art Vandelay, Quick Canal, Stereolab, Grouper, Broadcast, Animal Collective, Panda Bear, Bachelor Kisses, Cranberries, Cure, Pastels, MBV, I found a reason, pale blue eyes, Deerhoof, Gretel Alex G, Dancing w tears in my eyes, Elvis Costello, No age(things i did), Are ya ok, Maus, Ariel, R Stevie, Aphex Twin, Zomes, Vampire Weekend etc.

Bring Laptop for Beats on some and lyrics for all.

Love life more than ever before. Music feels so good. Want to help, make amends, everything that moondog did. Don’t be homeless much longer.

Not sure if I like throbbing gristle - definitely like Psychic TV.

How savage should diss tracks be? Very? Match the severity of the person’s treatment of me/others. Aka - pretty bad for all except for Auto.

Listened to new Kanye today - 10x better and more influential than death grips.

Realized today that i’ve spent my whole life wishing I was Kanye and now I am Kanye. Feels very good.

Everyone is gifted but internet makes us angst.

I am mostly Camus right now - maybe more Kierkegaard soon. Religion and Terrence Malik. Still need to read books.

Order of Books: The graduate Portrait of the artist Consider Lobster Infinite Jest Pynchon Ulysses (At recommendation of American gamer association)

Syd is incredibly gifted. Want to help her feel comfortable doing art/work here in the chaos but also sort out the chaos for both of ours’ sake. I thrive in it, she tolerates well. Want to move to Riverdale still, maybe East Williamsburg with Backpack Chris. We’ll see about money. Philly perhaps, little too far. Jersey is good location but bad commute. Bad to RI.

Visit RI and Boston Tues - Thurs. Sell Cigarettes at Concerts. Feels right.

Keep smoking for now - quit end of summer perhaps.

Don’t have Corona Virus - glad we are not quarantined. Still be smart. Don’t expose mom regardless. Protect at ALL costs.

Really though, why does Journee hate me? Write new track (Journee into forever nevermore not now not ever (Lou)) or Journee into SJW self righteous moral posturing (way too savage - maybe voice memo outro)

AR Kane album is incredible. Syd loves too. Sample everything.

Crazy - sound better at jazz than ever in my life. Exploring harmony - never practice. Teach free lessons all the time. Love the diminished scale. Might be best jazz guitarist to ever live. Time will tell. Would be cool long term. Prefer singing.

Getting good at piano too.

I’m my favorite lyricist/comedian/actor.

Is maia right, acting isn’t hard? Weird they can’t act.

^Remember to delete^

Don’t share this on Facebook yet.

Why does Journee hate me so much? Just the Louis CK joke?

People who stay home and do nothing hate to see irreverent people doing things.

People like when you’re losing - don’t like to see you win.

^That makes me sound crazy.

F00D outsider might make me famous first.

Need to keep up with legal situation.

Hope mom and dad both live long. Call Syd, get something nice for everyone in family. Get weird jewel cases. Order jewelry from etsy. Post merch on bandcamp.

Finish album art soon. Music videos. Get better at animation etc. Pay Ben for his poster. Actually really good. Maybe album art? Duo album! Record in Wisconsin, release under his name. WIll success be good for Ben? I think so. Still can’t believe Liv told him I wasn’t ok. Wow - good content for lyrics. You truly cannot write this.

How will people react to diss tracks? Extremely negatively. Or no reaction. We shall see. Maybe no real names in the titles...... only on Oh my. 4 names in titles is too many. Don’t release Auto track. Maybe on Voice Memos.

Track List: Good God Bed Head Rosa Reprise Oh My House Pop 1 skydive Pop 2 APhex GVO Pay 4 Take some Cherish Stars in F Are ya ok too bright Honeys Get to work Everybody That You Know Frost Bit BPC NYC New Age Heimet Helmet Deadbeat dads watermill for slitting bars romantic song david byrne Cinema study in cinema Brain ego Cherry doc marten Can’t liv w/o Venmo groceries Oh you like? Dancin DJ blues We are the State Farm robots Danny dorito is a dirty devito My funny valentine Zoomer blues The thing abt genres Blss Like minds ft dawson Lil toucha jazz Introducing car and driver The holy moment empire Ethics 101 - gma in the street Otto is sad I don’t know what it means! Operatic mellismatic Car and driver fest will be a success! Car and driver fest was a bust again! Cipha’s comedy corner Ryder Be gone evil atonal spirits!

Unreleased mental breakdown compilation ep:

I like all music! I’m a stupid pos Electric micro bike Get off your phone! John frusc Nice song Lap steel for 2 My masseuse advice Bed head wash sq Punchie John Maus yoyo interview Diminished kinda thing

Build the NYC scene, w Blu ish, Evan, 1 800, sweet joseph, Comics Club, Dawson, Sloppy Jane, Wheatus,

See Jack Fortin in NYC soon. Either my event or his.

Things are still good. Syd will be a great filmmaker. WIll maybe will end up with a dancer or a filmmaker - Probably not a musician. WIll have many loves.

Things are good right now - hope they stay that way.

Feel like Ezra Keonig - hopefully someone reads this one day and agrees. Different time in history and the internet - hope this is less cringe than Ezra’s blog , probably not. Ezra, if you’re reading this, sorry. See ya at Bernie’s rally.

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kinetic-elaboration · 5 years

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September 1: Vegas Notes

Okay, I’m going to try to write up some notes on my vacation, mostly just the straight events of what I did and when, because I don’t want to forget anything but I also don’t want to spend five hours writing this. Plus I wrote down some emotional impressions yesterday and during the trip itself.

Wednesday

Mostly a traveling day, but because the time change worked very much in my favor, also sort of a ‘first’ day in Vegas itself. I left my apartment at about 7:30 and flew out of Richmond at about 9:03. The Richmond airport isn’t large and I’ve flown out of it before so that was quite easy. Just had time for a chai tea latte before I headed off. I know it’s weird to be this person but I actually really like air travel, and at this point I’m even inured to stuff going wrong, so I was having a good old time even then. Even though the aisles are very narrow and the seats are small. My flights weren’t too long anyway. And for ONCE everything was even better than on time. Three of my four flights arrived early and so did my mom’s, and even my last flight, which left 20 minutes late, only arrived 5 minutes late, which is to say it was also ‘early’ except for the delay in take-off.

Anyway my first flight was to Charlotte and only about an hour, and then in Charlotte I had, like, NO TIME (from talking to a co-worker who’s also going West through CLT and from looking around online, I’ve gotten the impression American does this a lot, gives people a 45 minute layover in Charlotte), but the two gates weren’t too far from each other—farther than I’d though they would be because I had to go from C to B and my gate at B was all the way at the end—and I got in early. So I rushed but didn’t run, got there with ten minutes to boarding, and still had time to use the restroom and wait around for 10-15 minutes before my group actually boarded. So in fact it worked out well.

My second flight was almost 4 hours, which I didn’t think would be long, but it kind of was. They showed Avengers: Endgame and although at first I was just watching and listening to my own music, after a little bit, I decided to plug in and listen because I thought it would make the time go faster to actually watch a narrative. And luckily that monster is 3 hours long so that was most of the flight. I was also starving by this time, so I did in fact get an expensive sandwich on the plane, the eating of which also took up time.

I got in early, at about 1pm, but I had to wait for my mom to get in a couple hours later. I flew into D gate and it took me about an hour of wandering around just to figure out that D was a little satellite collection of stores, gates, and Starbucks, and I needed to take a shuttle to the gates where my mom would be. Once I did that, I saw her flight was early and I had less than two hours of waiting left. So I found a Starbucks with a seating area (there were only A BILLION of them, a fucking Starbucks in every aisle, more Starbucks than DC even) and had a coffee and a yogurt parfait and wrote a bit, which was fine, even though Starbucks is overrated (literally just sugar ice water after five minutes????? Why??????????????? Why is this $500 I could make this myself?). Then I went to my mom’s gate, which was in a nice place with a good view, and read and listened to music until she arrived.

We found the taxi stand, got one right away, and drove to our hotel. It is SO CLOSE. I guess because you can only carve out so much space in the desert. And literally it’s like desert all around and then Vegas, that’s it, a big entertainment center in the middle of nowhere. The landscape was gorgeous and actually the whole time I was traveling across the country I felt very… moved. And then getting into Vegas itself is bizarre because it’s literally a few very famous, very large building just rising up out of nothing.

Anyway, I agonized a lot about hotels but ended up going with an off-strip, non-resort hotel and this was a very good choice. I was pleased. For the same base price as a resort, and without resort or wi-fi fees, we got a whole fucking suite, almost as big as my apartment, with a living room, kitchen, large closet, bathroom with two doors, etc. Plus a fridge and a microwave and a dishwasher and all that. It felt like being at home right away. We spent a couple hours there, catching up, and then went out to eat at about 7 or so. We’re night people and so this felt, for us, like the sort of ‘late’ dinner we naturally want to have but know we shouldn’t—for us, a 10:30 dinner, but in reality, because of the time difference, a normal person hour dinner. Our hotel was right across from Planet Hollywood, so that was our base. I must say I also liked it right away. The fake buildings and fake sky. Even the mall part spoke to me in a strange way given that usually I find malls very stressful. We ended up eating at an Italian restaurant, which seated us in the fake outside part. The food was great, and the salad was probably the best I’ve ever had in my life. After that, we walked around a little and got our bearings, and then went home, showered, got ready for bed. I was exhausted, which was a great feeling: in my head, it was 1 am, and I’d been up since 6, so obviously I was tired, but the clock only said 10, so I felt very responsible. (It was more like 11 by the time I actually went to sleep but still.)

Thursday

Got up at 7 all on my own, which also felt great—of course it was 10 am in my brain. Life hack for night owls: travel west! We didn’t actually leave until about 9 though, and then we had a big breakfast/brunch at the Café Hollywood in PH, where our server very nicely let us substitute like half the menu for the breakfast we wanted. They also gave me honey with my tea, which, even though I don’t like honey, was an unexpected gesture that rather tickled me. We wandered the resort some more, looked at stores and so on, then went back to the hotel. We were planning on going to the pool but it was in the sun at the time, so we rested for an hour, and then went out and floated for a time. It felt very surreal to me to be floating in a pool in Las Vegas. Just lovely.

After the pool and quick showers, we went out to dinner, at a Mexican place, which I liked although it was a lot of food—I had an appetizer and it was way more than I could eat. Then back to the hotel to rest a little. By this time, we were starting to feel that fatigue that comes with allowing oneself any time to think while traveling. Then my friend B randomly texted me, and I got into a conversation with him, which was hilarious as he did not know I was in Vegas. Very fun to answer a question “how are you” with “I’m in las vegas.”

After that was the show, from which we crawled home at maybe 11, and I guess I must have been awake for some amount of time after but I have no recollection.

Friday

We had breakfast at the Café Hollywood again and then did some souvenir shopping. Dropped our stuff off at the hotel, and then went out adventuring. Basically I mean walking down the strip. We had lunch at the Hard Rock Café, where I had the best strawberry basil lemonade ever, and then walked down to NYNY Casino. Walked through the Park, with the metal trees, and into the casino itself, which was absolutely the most surreal thing. Like… the fake buildings do not look or feel like NYC but what do they feel like? A movie set, kinda… a stage… an adult Disney World… so fake and yet so pleasing. Street signs with famous street names just placed next to each other randomly, Greenwich next to Broadway and Broadway does not look like Broadway... and then in the middle of it all, a casino just like BAM out of nowhere. I liked it a lot but I’m not sad I didn’t stay there. I liked having my little home to come back to.

We wanted to see what the Paris one looked like, to compare, plus it was on our way back, but at this point walking back through the hottest part of the day was just…exhausting. We stopped in briefly in the Cosmopolitan just to cool down—it was very black and shiny and full of crystals. Paris itself was underwhelming; it didn’t feel like Paris, obviously, but it also didn’t feel like a Paris replica either. Maybe the comparatively interesting parts were just somewhere else, we seemed to basically be in the casino, but we were tired, so we just left and headed to the hotel at this point. We walked through PH first and I got a maple ice latte, yogurt, and banana muffin, all delicious.

After some rest, we went out again for dinner, even though we weren’t really hungry, but neither were we not hungry. For me at least, I felt like I should eat, more than that I wanted to eat. If/when I do Vegas again, I’ll do two meals a day—it works out much better. Mostly what I wanted was a huge bowl of berries tbh. I ended up with a spinach and berry salad, which was almost the same. We went outside to watch the Bellagio fountain show from the steps of PH. I kind of wanted to be closer but the streets in Vegas are so wide and we would have had to cross two to get there, and we didn’t know if we would make it. But our view was okay regardless. We also saw several groups of showgirls walking across the street, some of them in sparkly sneakers, which was adorable.

We got back to the hotel just past 9, when most people’s Friday night was just beginning. We went back to the pool, to experience it after dark, which was weird but also very relaxing. At some points, we were the only ones there. I floated for a bit with my eyes closed and felt the most peaceful I have felt in years.

At quarter to ten, we went back upstairs to shower and pack. It was sort of a let down but also I just couldn’t think about it. I didn’t want to leave and there were things I hadn’t done that I had wanted to do but I also felt like I would need at least 2 more days to do them, because if I stayed another day I wouldn’t leave the hotel except possibly to float in the pool, I was just too exhausted. We had to get up at 4:30 for my flight, and we both got to sleep fairly late, and I at least did not sleep well at all. I kept having nightmares, none of which I can remember, and randomly waking up.

Saturday

My memories of the morning are very hazy… I had to get dressed, pack a few last minute things, stuff a granola bar in my mouth to say that I had eaten. Our taxi came up very fast after the hotel called it—literally, I was still rolling my suitcase down the incline when it was parking at the steps. And the drive to the airport was short. My mom and I said goodbye outside of security, and then I had to take a shuttle to my gates because I was, again, leaving at D. But I found everything okay and had plenty of time.

On the way back, I had a not-quite-three hour flight to Dallas first, and then a not-quite-three-hour trip to Richmond, with a 2.5 hour layover in between. So I lost two hours, and then another hour. The flights were both fine, and the layover was quite easy because the Dallas airport is very nice. A lot of signs and gigantic touchscreen information kiosk things, which told me where all the food was. So I knew right away that if I headed toward my gate, I would run into a French café first (where I had a delicious pesto pasta and chicken dish) and then a Dunkin Donuts (for some a GOOD latte and a donut, to go), and then to my gate, where I settled down with my magazine and coffee. By the time I was done it was almost time to board. We ended up sitting around for a while longer than I had wanted, and the plane got quite hot and stuffy, but once we were in the air, it was fine. I listened to music and read my magazine, and finished the article just as we were landing. My co-worker picked me up outside and drove me home, and I got back around 7 I think.

Today I have truly just been sleeping and thinking about the trip. I haven’t event unpacked yet. I’m so glad I have tomorrow off, too, because I truly couldn’t stand to go to work tomorrow, but I do think, perhaps too optimistically, that I will feel normal, or mostly normal, tomorrow.

I already miss this vacation so much but I’m so glad I went, it was honestly just about perfect, and I do feel refreshed, as a vacation should make one feel.

#the year 2019 #2019: rl

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winstonhcomedy · 5 years

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“Dope A-F” - 5/1-5/7 - “Lot’s of Shows, A Riot at Castleburg, and Do You Have Twitter?”

I GOT BEHIND AGAIN!!! WHY LAYDEES WHYYYY!!! You’ve got to keep me on my toes lovely ones. I will get these shows done. I have a lot of mics to get caught up on, but I know we can do it! So let’s get right to it! xoxo

5/1

I was trying to hit three mics tonight. It was going to be tough, but I knew I could do it. It was also Jacob McFadden’s last night hosting Home Sweet Home before he moved to PA.

My night started by doing a happy hour and hanging with some coworkers for a bit. After that I headed to Main Stage Cafe which is the home of Jay Ron’s Weak on Wednesday’s comedy show. This was the first time I was going to be able to check it out.

I got there early to sign up, and got some fried chicken Mac and cheese. I met up with Bryan Williams, and we hung out and chatted. I took a phone call with another comic about some stuff they were gong through and wanted to discuss with me, and then when I came back in more comedians started to show up.

Jay Ron gets there and he tells us he is gong to wait for a few people to get there before the show starts. There are a few comics doing the open mic, and a few for the booked portion. This is an urban show, so it was an exclusively black audience. Which is fine with me I love working these rooms. It’s a great way to try new stuff, and see if your material works across different groups.

I am told I am going to be up second. First is Bryan. He goes up after Jay Ron and they don’t really vibe with him at all. He gets a few laughs, but his self deprecating style doesn’t really click with he 8 or 9 people that are there.

After he gets off it is my turn. Jay Ron brings me up on stage saying I am his, “n word” and that gets a laugh. I then go up and go right into crowd work. Bryan asked if anyone used facebook and no one responded so I riffed on a lady who is obviously lying because she has been on Facebook this entire show. I then talk to a single lady about if she ever been with white guys she said no in a negative tone so I riffed on her being racist, and then went into my material. I talked about teaching and it got some good responses.

I felt good about my set because I feel like I woke the crowd up, and got them involved. I love being able to be the one to crack them, and make the show better for other comics. I’d give my set a B-. Some of the crowd work was lame, but it worked, and the material did as well.

I left immediately and headed over to Emiliio’s hosted by Sho. I was hoping I’d be able to get up quickly before heading over to HSH. I walk up to the venue and it looks empty. I walk in and there are like 5 or 6 people talking at the bar and Sho says I can go up if I want. Apparently only one other comic Aaron Shoemaker even did Emilio’s that night. Which is a shame that people did not take advantage of another mic so close to HSH.

I tell him I’m ready to go up and I have a super fun 10 minute set. I try all new stuff, and the people there are super into it. I riff quite a bit, and try some stuff including my R. Kelly joke (which has been doing pretty well) and legit this is one of the more fun poorly attended mics I’ve done in a while. I’d give this set a B+. I talk to Sho a bit and then head over to HSH.

I get there and it is packed. Like legit. The show is starting in five minutes and there are about 30 comics signed up, and an actual crowd, and Jacob is starting to get super emotional.

Comics drove from all over to go up. Some came from DC just to get a spot and say goodbye, which was really dope to see. The comics meeting was held outside and it seemed like Jacob was going to cry. I take a few pictures, and then head inside. Everybody is here. Beswick, Velez, Anthony, Kusterer, Engle, Mike Shea (Brown Frown the Clown), Stella, Richard Woody, Alex Dejulio (came from DC) Bryan, and so many others including some newbies.

The crowd is into the show from the beginning. It is jammed upstairs so you people are having to stand all the way down the stairs and it is awesome. I am up eighth and I am watching comic after comic go up and have a good set. I am so nervous, but also so ready to go.

Finally it is my turn. I go up and Jacob gives me a classic bad intro saying that I am a bad guy that everyone hated, and that I lie about teaching at a school for autism. It makes me laugh and I go up. I do a little light crowd work. I talk to a new comic who is chatty and says his name is also Jacob, and I am like, “I like old Jacob better, this new Jacob is too chatty.” That gets a laugh and then I go into my material and I have a pretty hot set. Some things don’t hit as well as others, but everything gets a laugh and my R. Kelly joke hits really hard. This is the joke I am enjoying doing the most right now,. I also used my last 30 seconds to say something nice to Jacob and just when he was getting ready to cry I made sure to throw a joke in. I’d give this set a solid A-.

I get off stage and feel super good. After me is Anthony and he has a hot set as well. I go downstairs after his and just relax and chill. I am enjoying talking to everybody and just being in the moment. I make sure to stick around for Brown Frown the Clown. I also make sure to watch Jacob give Richard Woody the worst intro of all time. He finally got to do the bit again where he brings Richard Woody up as a convicted sex offender which he has done to Richard for the last 6 years of comedy. It got a laugh and Richard said some kind words and then got off stage.

When it is Brown Frown’s turn to go up all the comics try to pack it in upstairs. People are standing on the steps and even sitting on the floor. I make sure to make my way to the front to get some good pictures. Brown Frown is a drunken clown character created by Mike Shea and a staple of RVA comedy for years and years.

This performance he pretended to be breaking up with Jacob and the set included suicide jokes, sex with poop, sex with dolls, sex with Jacob, used condoms, maggots in someone’s pee hole, and parody songs about his love for Jacob. It was the best Mike Shea performance I have ever seen. It made me laugh so hard and I am so glad I was there to witness it. Afterwards I headed downstairs said my goodbyes and headed home. This had been a long but fun night doing comedy in Richmond.

5/3

No mics so I took off Thursday. There was also nothing going on in RVA on Friday and I wasn’t booked so I hopped on three shows in DC. I got off work and headed straight up there. I was in traffic for what felt like forever and a 2 hour drive ended up taking about 3 1/2. I get there and park where I usually do. I take a 30 minute walk to get to Comedy Club DC (at Club Heaven and Hell) which is Tom Mango’s room.

I get there and go inside. I talk to Tom for a bit. It is crazy hot upstairs because the AC isn’t on yet. Reid Clark is hosting, and he and I watch this video about how Anthony Jeselnik built his newest hour. After this some people start to show up, but we are warned it is going to be a light crowd. I grab my stuff and move to another table.

Mark Mensh a comic from up there and I had a super long nice talk. We talked about comedy and he said a lot of nice things about the blog which honestly means a lot. I don’t know I assume no one reads this so when someone else does, and they tell me things they enjoy about it it really gives me the energy to keep doing it.

We then talked about him moving into the city, and how shows have been. We talked about Gary Gulman and his everyday tips, and just continued to discuss the art of comedy. It was a nice and very fun talk.

More and more comics showed up. I met a few, but it is mostly people I don’t know at all. Bob Siegel was there and I met a dude named Jamal. We are all chilling and the show finally gets started with about 11 people there.

Tom gets in a Gumby outfit and goes up to introduce Reid as host. The first half of the show is people going up and trying to crack them. It is tough because it seems like no one is able to do it. They’ll chuckle a little, but the energy is never there, and the audience definitely needed to wake up.

Comic after comic goes up. A few do well, and a few do ok. Most don’t do very well at all. Tom is freaking out, but it is no one’s fault. These are a lot of newer and inexperienced comics, and being able to wake up a tough crowd is definitely a skill you have to develop.

Finally it is my turn. I go up and do 15. My only goal is to make the show better for everyone else after me. I have to do some crowd work, and slowly get them on my side. I get a few huge pops, and really won them over. I was sweating so much, and working my ass off. Not my best set, but it was super productive. I felt like I got the room ready for comedy, and did my job as the dude closing the first half of the show. I got to do a lot of newer stuff and it worked like I’d been doing it for a while. I’d give my set a B.

After this Tom went up and did his time. He got a few laughs, and I just hope the next few comics can really grab onto the momentum and ride it. After him everybody started to do really well. You could tell the crowd wanted jokes, and since I got on stage another 20 or so people had come into the venue. They all had good energy and everybody did well. Even though I wouldn’t say I got the biggest laughs of the night by any means, I definitely felt good about what I had done. Mark had a good set, and a few other dudes I had never seen before really did well as well. It was nice to see.

After this I said goodbye and thanked Tom for the time. I hopped in an Uber and headed over to DC Drafthouse to do Attack of the Comics hosted by Haywood Turnipseed JR.

I get there and I am a little early. I meet a comic from NYC named Irene who is down for a music festival, and I got to walk to a few comics I hadn’t seen in a while. I got to talk to Benjy for a bit because he was opening for Anthony Devito for the two early shows. Ross showed up, and finally Haywood decided to get the show rolling. I was going to be going second so I could hit Big Hunt.

Haywood goes up and does about 10 to 15 and gets the crowd warmed up. I can tell they are gong to be fun. After him Al Williams goes up. He just moved back, and he had a good set. After him it was my turn.

I go up and have a super hot set. Everything is working. My R. Kelly joke absolutely murders. I am so upset that I left my camera in my car like an idiot. I am desperately trying to get a good video of that joke so I can post it online before it becomes wack. The rest of my set goes well and I close really hard with a teaching joke. I'd give this set an A-. Other than a few lines up top that were weird everything worked great. I say thanks and hit the road heading over to Big Hunt. Ross tells me he dug the R.Kelly joke and I respect that dude a lot so that felt great.

I get to Hunt and people are hanging out downstairs. Sami Sfeir is hosting and there is a good conversation about strip clubs going on downstairs. I get to talk to Lafayette, Cook, Sean, Maddy, and a few others. Naomi showed up and we got to talk about some school stuff she has coming up soon so that was nice.

I am set to go up pretty late in the show so I settle in ready to hang for a while. then I get the glorious news that Ross isn’t there yet so I get bumped up a few spots. The crowd has been drunk and weird all night. They didn’t really give Maddy anything in front of me. It derailed her set and their attention was all over the place. They didn’t seem fun, but I had to go up and work it.

I had a pretty good set all things considered. I hated it, but I know it was going pretty well. I got the R.Kelly joke to work well, and a few other things. They were drunk so I had to slow down what I was saying and try to sell it really hard. I feel good about it though. I just didn’t murder the way I wanted to. I’d give this set a b-. I then grabbed my stuff and headed right to my car. I was too tired to go home so I ended up going to TJs and passing out immediately. I have two shows tomorrow and I need my rest.

5/4

The next day I woke up and relaxed for a while before driving down to Richmond. I was going to be there pretty early and was looking for something to do. I was getting ready to go to a friend’s to take a nap but then Nathan Possum (my old partner from Comics and Consoles and the creator of Barry White Hanson) hit me up and we got lunch.

It was a lot of fun seeing him. We talked about comedy, and possibly bringing back Comics and Consoles in another form than the let’s play. Mostly we just caught up and talked shit. It was a super fun time and the best way to wind down before the first show.

I had e-mailed Mike Engle for a spot earlier in the week, but I wanted to get there early to write and relax. I head over to Castleburg Brewery to set up shop. I chill in my car a bit and then head inside once Bryan Williams gets there. We chill and talk a bit and more comics show up.

Mike gets there, a bunch of new comics, Stella, Ryan Mather, the headliners (Tim Truehart, Drew Robertson), Moe Singleton, Aaron Shoemaker, and Ben Oliver.. We get a game of corn hole going, and legit it is one of the better hangs I’ve had doing comedy in a while. Everybody is joking around and we keep playing until showtime.

The way Game of Jokes works is you have several brackets of randomly selected comics. You don’t know when you’re going up, but when you go up you do 5 minutes and at the end of the round the audience votes on who they like, and it is up to the two judges to pick who they think had the best set. The only thing you win is an extra five minutes. Which is cool, but honestly it doesn’t matter that much.

Around the time the show starts Anthony Thompson shows up. The hang is still pretty good and there is a nice little audience. Mike goes up and he does ok. They are not vibing with his new, but I respect that he was trying to work out this new joke anyway. The first comic is this dude named Fancy Gym and he does a bit where he brings a huge red bag on stage and he goes “knock knock”. The audience goes, “who’s there”? He says, “banana,” and then proceeds to take a banana out of the bag. He does this for 5 minutes and brings out about 70+ bananas, when he finally gets to the orange it gets a pretty good laugh. He messed up the line, but it was entertaining to watch. Kind of ridiculous, and five minutes is a long ass time to see that.

I then get a phone call and go outside. it is a dude trying to book me for a gig on Mother’s Day. While we are working out the details someone comes out and tells me it is my time to go on stage. I am kind of freaking out because this is a paid gig, but at the same time I’m not trying to ruin the show. I ask the booker to let me call him back and as I am running inside I hear one of the judges yell, “if he doesn’t hang up that damn phone, and get in here he is gong to get bumped.” Which I felt was a little aggressive.

I get up on stage and go into my act and I have a super hot set. My R.Kelly joke gets a huge response and then I do a few teaching jokes along with my newish bit about sleep masks. I have the best set up to this point of the show. I dealt with a table of hecklers calling them juggalos after I mention Faygo, and then shitting on them a bit. They loved it and all in all it was a really fun set I was proud of. I’d give it a B+/A-.

I get off stage and go finish my phone call. I get done right as the final comic is on stage. I asked how people have been doing, and everyone says the rest of the comics in my group did ok/pretty well. I have another set to get to this night so I don't particularly want to make it to the next round, but it is definitely cool to be picked.

They ask the audience to vote for everybody. Each person gets a pretty good response, but I had a resounding response for my set. It felt cool to be able to crack them, and set the rest of the show up for success. Then it came time for the judges to pick. Tim picked his buddy Jacob who rode up with him, and Drew picked my buddy Ryan. No big deal. I was surprised but at the same time this solves the problem of sticking around for the second set.

They then have the audience vote between those two. They say Jacob’s name and no one really claps. They then say Ryan’s name and no one really claps. Mike goes, “ok well we are going to have to do it again.” As he says this a woman behind one of the judges goes, “everyone did really well, but this is bullshit we all know Winston won,” and then the crowd went insane. Like absolutely nuts. It was giving me so much anxiety because I’d never seen something like this before. In the moment it sucked, but looking back it was a pretty cool thing. One judge goes, “he is not in this so you need to pick between the two we picked.” This upset them a bit, and I had to go and be like, “hey everybody. It is ok. Pick between my friends this is a fun show.” After this they finally picked and they moved on. Tim went on stage and started his set talking about how he voted for who he rode with because he has to go back with them. Which is fine, and got a good laugh. I didn’t watch most of his set because I was feeling weird.

I went outside to kind of unwind. Like that whole situation gave me a lot of anxiety. It was weird for that to happen and feel like it was derailing the show. The vibe was just weird and I didn’t really want to be around it. While I was outside with my friends talking and relaxing the Drew dude came out to me and was like, “you had a wonderful set.” I told him he didn’t have to lie to me. I wasn’t upset, but for him to not vote for me it just means he didn’t dig my comedy which was ok. This stuff is subjective, the dude was obviously an alt comic and it wasn’t his cup of tea. He kept trying to talk to me, and I told him I didn’t want to talk. I was having an anxiety attack and this wasn’t productive. He said I had good stage presence and I was like, “dude. I do not want to hear why you didn’t pick me. It is ok, but this isn’t productive and I don’t want to hear it.” He finished with, “I’ll just shut up.” I told him that was a good idea and he went inside.

This also gave me more anxiety, but I feel like I did the right thing. It was weird for him to come out and try to smooth stuff over. I felt like everyone was making this thing a bigger deal than it was. I also just hate people being fake. Like he didn’t think I had a wonderful set. So it doesn’t make sense to lie to me about it. I felt like I didn’t get voted for because I’m a hack (I suffer from imposter syndrome quite a bit). I still hung out and watched some more of the show. I stuck around to watch part of his set, and they didn’t vibe with him up top for first few minutes so I grabbed my stuff and headed out. The vibe was wack, and I was upset because of how much fun the day was up until that point.

I got in my car as it started to rain and headed to the warehouse show I was going to be on. It is on the other side of town and it was hosted by Tom Hall. The lineup is going to be fun, and I’m just ready to get there.

I get there at 10:40 and the show was supposed to start at 9:30 and it hadn’t started yet. Tom is pretty drunk and everyone is hanging out. It is a good vibe, and I tell a few people the story from Castleburg which alleviates some of my anxiety. LE Zarling is there as is Anne Meng, Kusterer, Paige, Buhse, Alida, Muñoz Jarvis, and a lot of others.

They have me going last and I have to ask them to bump me up because I’m exhausted and I cannot go up at 12:45 in the morning. They let me go first and we get the show started. Tom goes up and warms them up for ten minutes, and then I get to have a pretty good set.

It is as well as a show like this could go. Two doors down there is a hip hop show, and everyone had been here drinking since 8 pm. I have a good opening line thanking people for coming to a show on the set of Saw 3. That gets a good pop and the rest of my set goes well. I do ten minutes and I’d give it a B. I still feel weird, but I am proud I did my set.

After I get off stage several comics from Castleburg show up. Including Stella, Anthony, and the judge Drew. The show keeps going on and everybody is having fun. I find the cupcakes Tom made and shove about three in my mouth (I eat when I’m anxious). As the show continues the Drew guy comes up to me and we talk about it. He apologizes and I do the same. He is a nice guy and we talk comedy for a bit and it ends well. This immediately eliminates a lot of my weird feelings and we both get to enjoy the rest of the night. I think he understood where I was coming from, and got that it was a weird thing to try and do. I definitely understand he probably had good intentions, but it was not the time for it while dealing with my anxiety.

Everyone is having ok sets. I think I got the sweet spot because of how tired people were. Some people did well and people were coming and going. I had a blast and would totally do it again. Paige went up and worked some stuff out and it was definitely good to see. He and I talk for a bit and then I say goodbye to everyone. Stella and I talk about my anxiety and the night. This definitely helps. I feel a lot better afterwards and I get all my hugs in with my friends. It was truly a weird, but amazing night. I head home and pass out!

5/6

The open mic at The Southern was cancelled so I decided to do Jkogi. After work I kind of just hang around and relax. I get dinner and watch some tv and really just wind down.

I then head over to Jkogi a little early and get a nice hang in. Jack Parker is there and then Mike Engle shows up. I am trying to write some stuff down and figure it out. Ryan Mather comes in with his wife to chill. Eventually a bunch of comics are there. Moe, Rebecca, Anthony, Ben Oliver, and some others show up. The hang and vibe is pretty chill.

Kate is hosting and she has the comic meeting. I am going first and I am definitely ready to go. She goes up and works out some material about her car accident. She talks about a drawer in her car that has tampons on it. She brings me up next.

I get on stage and riff that it was exciting to find out that Kate doesn’t know that the drawer is called a glove box. This gets a laugh and I work out some material It all goes pretty well until Jacob McFadden comes in drunk and throws me off a bit (he loves doing this). I close super weak but that’s ok. I'd give this set a C-.

I get off and go outside. I decide to watch Jacob’s set. We are all hanging outside. I make a bunch of memes with him and Nate Izqieurdo and Jacob makes a setlist of what he is going to do.

I go in to film and watch him and the runs the hell out of the light. it is five minute sets and he does 10. His set is really funny, and I am glad I get to see some of those jokes one last time. He is absolutely wasted and is stepping on some of his own punchlines and messing up wording, but it was magical. Afterwards I say my goodbyes, and head out.

5/7

I am so excited for today. It is going to be three mics, and it is teacher appreciation week. So after work Kenn, Alex and I go grab some CiCi’s pizza. Which is legit one of my favorite restaurants.

We talk about Endgame, Game of Thrones, our buddy Paige, comedy, and everything in-between. While at dinner Pat Buhse posts that Mojos is cancelled for the night because their computers are down. so now my only spots are going to be Vagabond and Fallout.

I get to Vagabond and go in. There is one other comic and two dudes from DC hanging out. The other comic is Jack Parker and he goes up and does like 10 minutes. After him the two guys ask if I will go up.

I go up and do about 25 minutes of the most offensive stuff I have ever written. It is the kind of stuff they are into, and I haven't done that material in a long time. I don’t know if I worked any of it out, but they really enjoyed it. I felt good about myself while doing it, and realized how I dig those jokes but a lot of that stuff just doesn’t fit in my act anymore. I’d give this set a B- because it is very productive and I don’t think I could have made those two dudes laugh harder with anything else.

One of the dudes goes up and he opens by saying R.Kelly didn’t do it, he is Afghan so he didn’t do 9/11, and that he f**cks really hard with the environment. He does his act and gets a few laughs and has a seat. It was a fun cool time. I had a blast. I grab my stuff and tell Jack I’ll meet him at Fallout.

I get to Fallout and talk to the bartender Shelby. I wait for some other comics to get there, including the host Jesse. The hang is good and Jesse finally shows up. He and I catch up and talk about what shows we have coming up. He tells me about the stuff he is going through with his dog and it is really tough to hear I feel for that dude.

Alex and Beswick show up along with Ben, Jack, Anne, Alida, Mu with Paula, and a lot of other comics. A bunch of newer guys so this is going to be fun.

I am up third. So Jesse warms them up, then Beswick works out his material (he has some really good shit cooking right now), then Jack goes and does a Kegel act out to close out, before I get on stage.

I go up and I can’t get anything going. There is a nice little crowd and I am just eating shit on stage. There is a dude talking right at the stage and I try to address it and it doesn’t work. I have weird energy, and I have no won anyone over. Every bit that has been working lately is just dying on stage. I then do a bit and a girl in the audience goes, “do you have twitter? Because I know I’ve heard that before.” She is basically accusing me of stealing a bit off of Twitter and this sends me in a spiral. I finish my ten minutes and this set sucked. Even though I got laughs I feel like I am a piece of shit and a hack. I’d give this set an F.

The first thing I do is go in the back and talk to Alex. We are busting balls, but I look up the joke online. I find one line of it on Twitter, but it’s an opening line. It is not the joke. I can’t find the joke anywhere, but I am leaning towards dropping it altogether (I eventually just rewrite it). I legit can’t handle that. Being a hack is the last thing I want. I want to be funny and relatable. I don’t want to play to the back of the room, but I also want to be respected.

I am in a horrible headspace, but Brandon, and Alex talk me down. They tell me to do some breathing exercises, and we all talk about stuff we used to deal with. They bust my balls some more, but I watch Alex’s set (really good. hot one for that crowd) and afterwards I grab my stuff and go. We talk a bit outside and I do some breathing exercises in my car before heading home to pass out!

We did it laydees! Caught up again. I’ve got some fun shows this week, and the rest of the month. Tonight I am in Blackstone near where I grew up. We will see if I am a draw at all in that area (forecast says not even a little bit.) I will be back tomorrow sweetie pies! xoxoxo

#comedy #bomb #hack #thief #jokes #standup #improv #riot #competition #alt #club

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lakeblutomski · 3 years

Text

so some updates um it's on the mob

i know who it was that's sending some message now it was a blonde male from the basketball and also another was his favorite restaurant an italian place landini brothers the waiter person there who one day i saw had tattoos don't know if that's real but those conspirators and things upset about and the mafia um education popularity

also the other person the georgia roommate parts about that one was someone was i think didn't follow the elephant republican side effects all the all the way to the bottom and backed out and another mentor figures sex thoughts so peoples life purposes and holes in stories or ejaculation

lots of people still trying to keep tabs on me the local alexandrians like someone now trying to off the um person who allegedly is crazy and witness protection program so pimps bookies um my dad and his career so not brando someone else and different people i know i can point out of a crowd their off base bullying (thus always to tyrants va or other personalities that if i thought i'd know who it was)

snitching um scanned 3 magazines um things people weren't familiar with and passionate love affairs teachers lessons um synopsis peoples secrecy missing people the drug business um

the school people so that whole thing sort of lumped as les miserables despite i think a rumor was actual legitamite french had eaten bodily fluids and my citizenship over there um cousin and masturbation secret rooms muslims um

so what's out there um not really offended or well i guess that's not me so moving on um the hbo sopranos and peoples attrition to um secrecy the senator these characters in the plot mario puzo the god father or um still pointlessness it's not real it's as the georgian even said and found out it's a lie

so um misled um old personalities it's the same people it's the same earth coincidentally you don't really um leave the familiarity online predators and plots on the sex schemes um the next door website and being denied service um back to va and things that'll happen as that is dealt with in reality so me um think tomorrow should go okay mostly i'd rather do this then the other stuff due to last times lessons

peoples um education formatted to outrageous cockameeny things like murders prostitutes drug addiction um divorces misled reenlistment

coincidentally another was the oh fbi watchlist actually works for me but it was that oh my entertainment career was destroyed but i am ok sort of um oh all these true things i said that turn out to be completely true so like things i even predict or notice such as i was going to do a here's who the people notifying me are list of them and their motives all of that stuff but then you can't really do much

so there's my i believe jewish roommate from vcu and the intro to someone who had the same name as dexter there's that

there's the person i labeled muslim from maybe isa before the close with sports bets

um there's the thai guitarist who was violent and showed drug systems distribution

there's the artist with the road bike and all of them

there's the new yorkers further about the it was crime syndicates or representatives

my brother and me trying to not have him get into messy things

saw mccusker the other day his i image outrageous career

the west potomac

an example of the true story i see i am at anita's and say that here's what i think this is it's drugs rockstars um transgenders then am reminded there's the coheed and cambria taking back sunday miami tour on a cruise ship

so this one um the big release with the prequelle to the sopranos is ramping up other times things ramp up new school year anniversaries sometimes secretive um election day other changes

so the jewish ghetto and the term is about um hidden societies the amish um oh trafficking births and the city lens on that there's like the yankees or those companies maggiano's is over here

peoples kids going missing um that's some music history is a tangent but um your profession and your passion for fun um love affairs the term was trap lords for getting somehow incriminated

i think a cop family kid both may be going closer towards the std i deemed broken needles so that being hogging sex and then replies to that um other things spokesperson tattoos their lost and getting losed in the crime worlds with the badge as as stated knowing people parents um wills and that trying to agitate and mislead see the story of insurance or the holocaust or others fixed stalking

the doctor maybe mistaken but maybe he is a social worked power on how people will get cornered or dead ends see third eye blind their hit single semi charmed life

ok so different lots of the west potomac's that clothes look affiliation from the veterans affairs off post from fort belvoir and blasting on civilians um a university brand law things followers

the anonymous computer gang one focal point a personality in school others um even unknowns but some if paying attention knowing it like hackers met or which one

mil attempted lifers um benefits arrivals presentation

ok so the drug world a manager teeth missing and pharmacy people the food and drug reps like jansen or dr hines and me getting mostly blessed from them sit here tell what i saw then everythings ironed out and provided for and don't raise the alarms little checkpoints so the term a made man

um who to listen to now there's like shoe box stops on that like don't click that it'll show up and you'll so hearing damage in the neighborhood um the usmc childhood person and all the people branched off from that

ok so the adultery part don't get upset and my parents business so there was other parts tax collectors that's a movie too but people in government so that mentality um sex breaks how that works spirit breaking um different factions arts and education alternatives the record store and others calling but ironies and foolishness

the married so my parents provided for the future um the beneficiary people the school so peoples teaching lesson on that get him pussy you get reward and certificate and people pursuing hiv

um the person from this site that'd be other richmonders um publishers and asians category um inherent vice pynchon defectors

so the cops or which one is it now knowing which local personality the sports gamers with the mortgage clouts those people swinging through um

over here no one showing up to um well there's the cleaners reports so told about a popular middle school person and different branches from that the caverns (rhymes with taverns) and that's like the beatles

tearjerkers from others someone might be gay and eating bodily fluids and lots of people outsourcing schools favors vandalism jumping someone um wild stuff

carrier pigeons the leader the name movie references and um hmm georgian life that like no not near the potomac river something about that as a comfort the reagan airport um the land locked part nebraska others crazy out landish quests

sex tourism here um higher roads and maybe rewards coincidentally

porn changes not interracial and um hanger ons

so getting flattered the sicilian

so the professor his getting me and working together that'd be him and a dwarf (references to books on deciphering and telephone a galaxy) so them typing up a home made gift for me and other things penis guitar um public opinions

grand dad looked mostly okay getting skeletony skeletal um get him out of the keeping place for now heard of hospital for dehydration assume that's actually his two kids who live with him bullying him like head games from their background but so hmm see some of these old timers just keep on going getting the right kick on

so the birchmere club thought haven't been as often little hearing issue but there's a personality there who maybe mistaken i openly we talked about lgbtq that explanation so them um the cool cop who'll show you your way everything high strung think when i was in restaurants pees tips so what's the new music um kingston trio vinyl in my case

showing up for what and the muslims that handled so iraq afghanistan jerusalem like crazy veteran stories more than just a black hat with a caregiver seated going somewhere the turbo

harrisonburg so hearsay um sex addiction drug dealers game zones um vices vices so peoples short cuts a restaurant what common knowledge and directions will tell you as in my case 'cop outs' don't always work also fault finding that now

saw the stones later this like bad ass dangerous turtle thing in head like also british things humor um national geographic a big rollins head the um discipline and some of these song bird stories at dc a nickname was song bird mccain

the blacks vietnam um smokers

people infusing sex with games and other unoffensive details

my blood pressure cuff

calm and relaxed there's some doctors the maybe not retirement circuit so active duties um the reward they got for their effort sex gains and freedoms um then drug scripts the pharmacy that legal and head ache frustration free

so others a painting um american claude monet blonde blue eyes um the other games workshop mcfarlane not as much facebook but um maybe second veteran not generation but va gi bill voc rehabers um each person corner the gays um asian food um high octane and the nfl um each of these then the high traffick time how forgetful

sex

so banned books and others things um words um usages exhale america

ok so thought the real time was sort of not possible though i continued and also it was the other things insurance modesty explaining the guy instead of bill gill um popeye's um over here different map and cool cars um attitude or misleading um

did also thing despite it was very viewed i clicked to see how many two nephew visiting weekly maids

drama going on um the moles in tradoc and apparent back breakers injection knock out drills um phases so new lifes abandoning others um grossness as a weapon unemployment throughout um not annoying transgender um drunkenness inebriated highs um the ivy leaguers and the libraries and effects of purchases

youtube online publishers um companies sites a cafe caffeine um old memories of rare limited edition entertainment

so the story soon movie survey

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etraytin · 7 years

Note

Never have I ever...written bed-sharing or fake dating

I haven’t written either of these before, surprisingly enough! Fake-dating is a tough trope for The West Wing anyway, where most of the romantic conflict comes from wanting to date but not being able to be seen dating, rather than the other way around. But bed sharing… that I can work with. :D

“Are you fucking serious?” Gingerasked nobody in particular, staring at the squalid little hotel roomwith amazed disgust. “This has got to be some kind of joke.”

Margaret elbowed past her to getthrough the door, dropping her overnight case next to a televisionthat had been new when Ford was president. “Don’t look at me, yourboss made the arrangements. So if anything, I’m going to blame youbecause you should’ve known better.”

“At least it wasn’t Josh,” Donnaadded helpfully, squeezing in through the space Margaret had made.“We’d probably be booked into a youth hostel or something because Idon’t think he knows the difference.” She stuck her head into thebathroom and immediately pulled it back out again. “Well, they’vegot the little soaps,” she observed with an attempt at brightness.“And I’ve got a scented candle in my bag.”

“Didn’t you learn your lesson aboutcandles after Belarus?” Margaret asked. “I mean, I think therewas some kind of presidential order involved…”

“It’s a Yankee Candle, all right?”Donna retorted, her pale cheeks blushing a bright pink. “I got itin Richmond, I think the bomb dogs will be okay with it this time.”Both women began unpacking their overnight cases with the efficiencyof seasoned travelers.

Ginger was still standing in thedoorway. “There’s one bed!” she observed loudly, disbelievingly.“All three of us are assigned to the same room and there’s onebed!”

“At least it’s a big bed,” Margaretpointed out. “I doubt this would work at all if it were a double.But I can’t sleep in the middle, I have restless legs and I usuallyneed to get up and urinate around two-thirty.”

“Dibs on not-middle,” Donna addedimmediately. “Josh will probably call at… oh, speak of thedevil.” Because Ginger was still blocking the doorway, the door wasopen to allow any passing curious Deputy Chief of Staff to peekinside.

“Hey Donna, I need the- wait, are allthree of you sharing this room?” Josh asked, peering inside asGinger cleared out of the way with a disgruntled huff. “With onebed? Man, that’s like a setup for a-”

“A sexual harassment lawsuit thatwould allow me to spend the rest of my life in a style to which I’dlike to become accustomed?” Donna asked sweetly, interposingherself between Josh and the room. It was for his own good, really.Ginger looked like she was ready to resort to violence and she mightnot wait to find Toby.

Josh arranged his face intoappropriately sober lines. “Anyway, I need the stuff for the thingwith State tomorrow. I’m gonna need you to call up Ed and Larry and-”

She cut him off again. “In case youhaven’t noticed, it is nearly 11pm here in Chicago, which means it ismidnight in DC. Ed and Larry have gone home. Everyone in LegislativeAffairs is sleeping. Everyone at the State Department is sleeping,with the exception of a few unlucky staffers making sure there’s nonuclear war. Toby and Sam are sleeping. You should be sleeping. And Ineed to prepare for the lingerie pillow fight we’re about to have inhere, so goodnight, Josh.”

Donna closed the door on his stunnedface, turned around and counted three. “DONNA!” came thestrangled yelp through the door. Giggling, she threw the chain on andwent to find her scented candle.

…

“This is the worst night of my life.And I grew up in South Jersey, so that’s saying something.”

“Oh my god, Ginger, just go tosleep.” Donna put the pillow over her head. “We have to be up infive hours.”

“Easy for you to say,” Gingermuttered, “you’re not sleeping next to Adam Vinatieri over here.”On Ginger’s other side Margaret was sleeping obliviously, mask overher eyes and headphones over her ears.

“You could sleep on the bus,” Donnasuggested. “It’s not so bad, I used to do it all the time.”

“Yeah, next time I want to getax-murdered I’ll definitely try that.” Ginger punched her pillow.“Senior staffers all got their own rooms on this trip. I’m going tokill Toby slowly as soon as I see him again. Gruesomely. I know guys,Donna. Guys with connections.”

“I actually think Toby may be moremobbed up than you are, even if you did grow up in New Jersey,”Donna pointed out with a yawn.

“I’m a desperate and angry woman,that counts for a lot.” Ginger rolled over and bumped into Donna’sside, then made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a growl. “Hey,I know! Why don’t you go sleep in Josh’s room?”

Donna lifted the pillow enough to peekout. “Josh’s room only has one bed, too.”

“But it’s got enough room for twopeople,” Ginger suggested with a grin Donna could see in the dark.“I bet he wouldn’t say no, and you could solve a couple of problemsat once.”

“Ginger!” Donna hissed.

“Oh come the hell on, who do youthink you’re fooling anyway? You two have been flirting like crazyfor four years now,” Ginger insisted, giving Donna a poke in theribs. “If I’d just met you I’d guess you were already married fromthe way you argue. You might as well get some of the bennies too,right?”

Before Donna could answer, Margaretlifted one earphone. “Don’t even think about it,” she told Donnaflatly. “Leo would have a heart attack shortly after killing bothof you. It would be extremely bad for our operational efficiency.”

“You’re awake!” Ginger burst out,losing all interest in Donna. “You’ve been awake this whole timeand you’ve still been kicking me!”

“I have restless legs,” Margaretreminded her primly.

“Restless legs my ass,” Gingermuttered, dropping her voice to add something about the restless backof her hand.

“You’re more than welcome to sleep onthe bus,” Margaret told her. “Hardly anyone gets ax-murderedanymore. You’re far more likely to be abducted and sold into humantrafficking.”

“Not helping!” Gingerostentatiously turned her back on Margaret, securing her blanket moretightly around herself. They’d at least managed to secure threeseparate blankets, or the situation would’ve been entirely untenable.“How about I tie your legs together instead?”

“Then I would just be kicking withboth legs instead of one at a time,” Margaret pointed outreasonably. “I hardly think that would be any better. Have youthought about sleeping in the fetal position, so that your legs aredrawn up and out of range? I hear it’s amazingly restful for peoplewho can keep their legs still at night.”

“I’m not just going to cede the bedto you because you can’t keep your legs to yourself!” Gingerinsisted, flipping back onto her back and looking about ready tothrow down. “Maybe you could sleep with your legs on a chair so youdon’t hit anybody!”

“That’s enough!” Donna sat upabruptly in bed, slipping her shoes onto her feet and throwing herblanket around her shoulders. “I will go sleep on the bus! I’vedone it a dozen times without getting ax-murdered or humantrafficked, and honest to god, at this point that is a risk I amwilling to take! I will see you in the morning!” She picked up herpurse and swept out, blanket trailing behind her like a cape.

…..

For all Josh tended to resist sleeplike a hyperactive toddler at bedtime, when he did finally pass outhe was a deep sleeper. It was just as well, then, that Donna had akey to his room. Shivering, she let herself into his room and hurriedto the thermostat, turning the temperature up by another fivedegrees. The heat kicked on with a rattle loud enough to wake thedead, or in this case, the deputy. He looked around blearily. “Whatare you doing here? It’s not six yet, is it?”

“No,” she admitted wearily, “It’sabout two-thirty. I couldn’t cope with Margaret and Ginger fightingover the bed anymore so I went to sleep on the bus, but it was toocold.”

“Donna!” he exclaimed, sitting up.“We had the conversation about sleeping on the bus already! Youcould get mugged by a band of roving Republicans looking for campaignsecrets! Or freeze to death!”

“I didn’t expect it to be quite socold this late in the year. But I’m just so tired!” She could hearthe whine in her voice but was too exhausted to temper it. Josh wouldjust have to cope.

He sighed., which turned into a hugeyawn. “All right, come on then.” Sliding back down into the bed,he raised the covers to let her in.

She stared in disbelief. “Josh…”

“What?” he asked, blinking at her.“You’re exhausted, I’m exhausted, we’re both practically fullyclothed and we have to be awake in less than four hours. If you don’tget any sleep tonight, both of us are going to be useless tomorrow.So get in the damn bed.”

Donna actually found that logicdifficult to argue with, though she suspected it might be mostlybecause she was so tired. Whatever the reason, she found herselfcrossing the room and slipping under the covers next to him. The bedwas deliciously warm on her chilly skin, and the pillow smelledpleasantly of Josh’s aftershave. “You don’t kick, do you?” shemumbled, her eyes already closing.

“Never had any complaints,” heassured her, reaching out and smoothing a few silky strands of herhair off his pillow and away from his face. She felt his hand barelyghost along her shoulder. “Go to sleep now.”

“Mm-kay.” There was a significantchance she would never hear the end of this from Margaret and Ginger,but as she slipped into deep, restful, kickless sleep, Donna thoughtit might just be worth it.

(This story is also archived at AO3 under the title “Roll Over.” )

#the west wing #west wing #fanfiction #josh x donna #prompt answer #these trope things are kinda fun #actuallylorelaigilmore

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imeugene · 7 years

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I just read this and it’s pretty interesting. The topic is out there and as much as crapstorm these things tend to be.. I lowkey like it. I’m not gonna weigh in about anything but I’ll just leave it at a story that I’ve been wanting to tell. Just never had an opportunity to do so and I think this is a way that I can and escape some responsibility. It’ll all make sense.

The Bikeguide video. It was what I was supposed to do. Bikeguide was a forum for geeks of BMX. People who measured parts with calipers and discussed the hypotheticals of BMX. It was a great community like that. I can honestly say I have fond memories of that place growing up and really enjoyed being part of it when it was still lively. With the community it fostered there was a lot of debates between people. I’d say it was the more intelligent part of BMX forums. Vital was for kids. TCUB was for try hards. 20inchnyc was for... I don’t know what it was for and the BMXBOARD was for the exclusive members of there to jerk each other off and act like its a BMX Illuminati. Bikeguide was more friendly to everyone which made it in my opinion the best forum. Yea. People took a lot of high quality pictures of their bikes but it was all in good fun and taste.

I wanted to travel and film a Bikeguide video. Not out of any type of real selfless motives but I’m Asian and my mom knows way too many kids of her friend’s who are making 100k plus and felt like I’m doing nothing. BMX has completely dominated my life at that point so I wasn’t doing anything she could understand. A Bikeguide video would seem official enough while simultaneously allowing me to the see more of the world I always wanted to do (also the same case with the only Atavism shirt I ever made and sold). Something if you read this blog enough you realize is a big part of BMX to me. Back then Bikeguide had a lively enough community to pull that off and I wanted to do it too. So I tried. I saved money and went out and filmed and traveled. They say traveling is life changing experience and it was.

I really wanted to make a Bikeguide video though. I had no plans to make it anything else. I guess I was a bit too young and naive to understand what I didn’t know would happen in the course of that four months so. I honestly came back from all that hating BMX. People acting all sorts of weird in years after, getting stolen from, played around, even a few fights, all that usual petty stuff that now I understand comes from just being a person but when it was all happening the usual moniker of a chink constantly came up. A kid who always had nothing but good experiences in BMX, I kind of grew to resent it. I rode bikes cause I didn’t wanna deal with all that which was pretty prevalent in my upbringing in Richmond, the former capitol of the Confederacy and BMX was becoming more like that. Sure I used to be pretty opinionated on Bikeguide. Have beliefs like I would on here on politics, religion and what not. It was nice cause under the anonymity of a username you truly felt like your opinions were valid because of their substance. I find a lot of times if people view you as different, especially as something as big as race than inherently they view you as bias. What person on Earth doesn’t have a race? I guess everyone is bias but that’s not how its perceived. I’m the different one and my beliefs are wrong cause I am.

I remember meeting someone and that person knew who I was through Bikeguide and I didn’t know who that person was. Maybe a lurker, maybe a prominent member I don’t know. That person would subtly gesture that he knew me and my internet history. I guess I offended him enough online to the extent he remembered and subtly made it known that he didn’t like me. Honestly he probably didn’t like my views which at the time were strong, misguided but I’d say well intentioned like most early 20 year old. I think the clinger was the fact that me being Asian was the root of all my problems, the way he put it. Something that happened a bit too much. Coming back from that trip made me hate Bikeguide and the BMX community in general. Like I said young, naive, and still misguided, a few penis jokes and chinks online and offline, typical foreigner racist jokes and what nots. Later I’m done with BMX people. I just got to a point where BMX dictated my life and that may work for some people but I always hated the notion that I’m gonna be too Asian til I prove myself otherwise. Either I have to be white enough to be in the cool like back in high school but I wasn’t gonna do that. I hung out with the weirdos and degenerates, I didn’t do it then and I sure as hell aren’t gonna do it now. That or work myself extra, cause I better make myself useful. My anime loving ass isn’t gonna do anyone’s preciously choreographed social status any better so I have to directly offer them something for their A-ok. Nah I don’t function like that either. As much as I wanted to believe that BMX is separate from the real world, it’s not. It’s just easier for me to realize cause I don’t have luxury to pretend it’s not. Cause the same crap the governs the rest of the world, governs BMX too and that’s people.

I ultimately didn’t make a Bikeguide video and I regret that a lot. I was an even more a pompous douche back then. I made Somewhere. I distinctly remember cause it’s the individuals that are all out there “somewhere” that made it all worth it. Gave out a few copies for free and put some sections through BMX UNION with Kurt. Kurt and everyone I met through Bikeguide directly were good people though and Kurt if your reading this my mom was ultimately proud to see what I wrote and put up through your site so ultimately my trip was a success. In hindsight 94% of people I met were good but there’s a way that the 6% shits on everything. I’m sure they have people they love and that love them but Hitler was also loved so that doesn’t mean much to me. I’m sure 94% of the time those people are decent people too just when they were in the presence of such greatness as myself, they couldn’t hold in their feelings of envy, jealousy, want, lust, and absolute desire to be my friend and maybe more.. and all that came out as anger. It’s ok I get it a lot ;*

But back to topic in question, honestly I can’t take either argument seriously. One used the word proletariat in a serious way and the other guy called Washington DC “the edge of the South”. Proletariat?! Seriously!? That’s the verbal equivalent of I drive a small hatchback and have a bumper sticker for every view I have. And DC is not the edge of the South. DC is one of the most multicultural friendly areas in probably all the US. Ethiopian food is literally regional cuisine. There are supermarkets for every race and culture in every other corner. Driving home from work today in the 20 minutes I saw a Christian Church that had Black Lives Matter, another Christian Church that had a rainbow flag, a Buddhist temple for Chinese people, a Buddhist temple for Cambodians, Greek Orthodox church, a Mosque, and a half dozen Korean churches for every denomination. DC had a very sordid racist history I’ll admit but it’s changed drastically since then.

The way I see the whole thing is something like this. My family has obviously never owned slaves but I don’t use the n-word. Am I tied into this system of hate? Nope. My family was picking rice somewhere thousands of miles away in the opposite direction. My race is completely uninvolved in the history that happened but I don’t use it cause it’s inconsiderate. Maybe if you’re one of my close buddies and we’ve been blasting rap music for a few hours and we’re extra hyped, I might use it as a term of endearment but never in a way of hate. I don’t make it a deal to use it or show everyone I can use it. I don’t want to justify myself in saying it’s a word and explaining why I’m not tied into all hate language if they ask. In the end I can just choose not and everyone goes their way and no one will ever make a fuss that I don’t use it. It’s just common courtesy. In 1000 years when people use the n-word as formal language they can do that but now.. it’s a heavy word that has meaning for everyone. Just cause someone like Tyler the Creator says he doesn’t care how anyone uses it, doesn’t mean it’s true for everyone. I’m not so full of myself to make it a point, do it and guess everyone’s outcome. Can you be proud of the South. Absolutely. Can you tell people who are also proud to be Southern. Absolutely. Should you make it a point and show everyone by placing something as symbolic and meaningful as a Confederate flag to everyone in a nationally advertised event in BMX. It’s bad taste. A Dale Earnhardt t-shirt would’ve sufficed. Sure BMX loves bad taste but this is a realm that is really meaningful to a lot of people and BMX is not the type of vessel for that level of a message.

I wrote a few things before that I felt was important. Things tinged in a bit of a social message. I did it cause this site is a way I have the most audience. At the time I probably had a few hundred views a month. The messages I put I felt were important cause they were messages I lacked growing up. No one writes songs about what it is to be Asian in America. Or makes movies or anything really. Outside of books, it’s just not there but I made a conscious decision to stay away from that cause this is a BMX blog and once again BMX is not the vessel for that level of message. After this post, back to the usual. Cause honestly you folks aren’t even capable of handling the message I really want to deal out muhahaha.

#bmx

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gracia-suficiente · 7 years

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And continuing on with my Richmond posts, here’s my post about Monday! I write these posts as if hundreds of people are reading them when in reality, I’m just writing them for myself lol

Monday was probably my second favorite day. We got up super early to drive to Washington DC. Bailey said I could play my music on the way there so I put on some music of mine that I thought (and hoped) he would like. The drive over there was quiet but it was nice. We were both still sleepy and every now and then, one of us would say something or point something out but for the most part, it was a nice quiet drive. It didn’t feel awkward at all which was so nice.

I had planned to meet up with my old coworkers at the internship that I worked at and I was so pumped to see them again. However, my main supervisor was out of town on vacation and when we were about half an hour away from DC, the staff accountant said that wasn’t going to be at work. It made me a little sad, especially because just Friday she said she was excited to see me but I suppose something came up. I felt kinda embarrassed to tell Bailey, especially because the main reason why we had driven to DC was so I could visit everyone. But when I told him, he said that we could still drive by it. That was super nice. Driving down those familiar roads brought back a huge wave of nostalgia. Bailey drove and I pointed out the building where I worked and the roads I took to work and I explained to him what the non-profit did. I’m glad I got to see those roads again and I’m glad I got to share it with Bailey.

After our little cruise around Vienna, we drove to DC. We didn’t really plan ahead what we were going to do in DC but Bailey loooves the Washington Monument so he suggested we see it. I’d been to DC about five or six times before that but I had never seen it up close, which was a must according to him. After driving around for a while (and even getting a little lost), we found a parking spot and began our walk to the monument. It was surreal seeing it up close and touching it. I can understand why Bailey likes it so much, it’s massive and so uniform and just an incredible feat of engineering. We were there for a bit laying on some benches looking up at it and talking and people watching. The weather was perfect. It was cloudy with a nice breeze. After we were there for a while, we walked over to the Lincoln Memorial. It was a long walk but fun because we talked and laughed all the way over. I love how diverse DC is; so much people from all over the place.

We eventually got to the Lincoln Memorial and Bailey showed me around the back of it. I didn’t even know people could walk around it. That was fun. After we walked around inside for a bit, we walked down and decided to sit on some of the steps and rest up before our long walk back. We sat and talked and were quiet and people watched and it was great. We saw a lady with gold, sparkly tennis shoes in a pink jumpsuit. A duck came up to us. A couple brought a tri-pod and everything to take pictures of themselves. The whole trip, I’d been wanting to get a selfie with Bailey. Back when we were “talking” we always said that we regretted not taking a picture together when we first met. And I still really wanted a picture with him. So finally after hyping myself up inside, I told Bailey that we should take a silly Washington Monument selfie together. He liked the idea and they came out great. After that, we walked back to his car. I hadn’t even noticed how late it had gotten; it was about 2:00 PM when we finally got back to his car. We were both starving and we decided to drive out of the city to eat somewhere.

We ended up at this shopping center near my old apartments in Alexandria. We decided to try an Italian/Mediterranean restaurant. The whole time I was in Virginia, I didn’t eat that much (cue blink-182, you make me nervous so I really can’t eat) and even though I was hungry from walking around all day, I just ordered a salad and I couldn’t even eat it all. We left there (and Bailey wouldn’t let me pay, again) and began the drive home to his house. Since we had listened to my music on the way to DC, I told him that it was his turn to listen to his music. And, of course, he played one of the playlists of my music that I had made for him. How. is he. so. thoughtful. He also played some of his music on the way but he kept switching to some of the playlists I had made him. I thought that was sweet. The drive back to Richmond was filled with conversation, unlike the first drive. We talked about everything. We talked about license plates. He told me about his favorite musician, Watsky. We talked about Post Malone. He told me about his jobs. We talked about the trees. He talked about what he wants to do in the future and his favorite car. I remember sitting in his car, looking at him while he was talking to me about something and I couldn’t help thinking, “I wish it could always be like this.” It was that car ride back to Richmond that reaffirmed what I had felt in the art museum the day before, I liked Bailey.

We got to Richmond and he told me that he wanted to take me to this nerd store called 2nd and Charles. He had told me about it before so I was excited to see it in person. It was literally the coolest store I’d ever been to. It was a bookstore with records and DVDs and CDs and guitars and mugs and nerd stuff like Harry Potter and Pokemon and Neko Atsume. The coolest thing about the store is that it was like a consignment shop; they had new items but you could also sell used stuff and buy used stuff. I actually found one of my favorite plays (The Glass Menagerie by Tennessee Williams) for $3.00. It was fun and it made me happy that Bailey said he wanted to show it to me.

We got back to his house and his friend Lance was there already. Bailey and Lance do a livestream on their Facebook page every Monday so Lance came over to set up. Lance is such a sweet and funny guy. I sat in the living room and talked with Lance while Bailey set up the cameras and mics. After he set up, Bailey came and sat next to me on the couch. It was the first time the whole trip that he sat next to me. I had consciously been sitting on a different couch or leaving space between him and I because I didn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable or make anything awkward. So there we were, Bailey sitting next to me with Chica (his cat) on my lap and Lance making me laugh while Bailey had one of my playlists playing in the background; there was nothing better.

We did the livestream and it was so much fun! I was looking forward to it but then I got nervous when I sat down and saw myself on the computer screen. But after a while, I loosened up a bit and it was so much fun. I haven’t watched it back but I think I’m going to do that some day soon because it was A+. While we were eating lunch, Bailey and I were talking about the foods we liked and we mentioned that we both liked Chinese food so we decided to get Chinese food for dinner. I thought it was funny that we were picking our dinner while eating lunch. So after the livestream, Bailey took me to one of his favorite Chinese restaurants near his house. It was already kinda late (about 9:00 PM) so the place was a little quiet but so nice. Dinner was great. The food was delicious and getting to talk to Bailey more was the best. We talked about our favorite holidays and he told me about what his family does for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I could listen to him talk about winter and Christmas forever. He paid for me AGAIN and then we were on our way.

When we got back to his house, he mentioned that our mutual beme friend Taylor wanted to record a podcast. We waited for her to call us and we played a surgery game on Bailey’s computer. We were cry-laughing; it was so so so great. Taylor called us and we recorded the podcast with her friend Mary. Again, it was so much fun. But by the end of it, I could barely talk. My voice was so tired. By the time we finished the podcast, it was nearly 11:30 PM. And I still hadn’t gotten my bag ready to travel back. I think I went to bed around 12:45 PM that night. I was sad because I didn’t want to leave.

#personal #bailey

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winstonhcomedy · 5 years

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“Dope A-F” - 9/17-10/29- “Bombing in DC, Fun Times in Gainesville, The Slyest Clyde, Storytelling, Wizards, Buskey, and Sick For a Week”

I am legit so tired of doing this dumb ass blog. I want to focus my time on other things, but I know it is good for me to keep writing it. I have so much catching up to do and it is infuriating. So I might just abbreviate the reviews. So with that out of the way let’s get to it.

9/17

I didn’t have a show today, but I needed to get an episode of my podcast recorded. I got Brandon Beswick to contact some of his improv friends, and had them on.

It was a fun pod. I had Joe Freeman, Nathan Bemis, Brandon, and Tom Hall on. We had a super good time just joking around. Giving the games out a day ahead of time really has improved the flow of the show. I can only hope it continues to do so.

9/18

This was kind of a chill night. I had my back to school night at work and when that was over I headed over to Isley to get a set in.

I got to go up third, and there were a few newer comics there as well. I got to talk to a few of my friends and hang, but honestly I was trying to not have to be there too long.

I went after a brand new comic, and tried a bunch of newer stuff. It all worked for the most part. It felt really good to be doing like 7 new minutes. I tried a few new tags, and reworded a few things. I am still figuring out my voice every day but sets like this feel like I am at least figuring out the groove of it. I’d give this set a B. As I was leaving I got to see Jack Parker bring his dog on stage with him, and took a funny picture.

I then headed over to Home Sweet Home to get a good hang in before the mic. It was super chill. Jason had me going up fifth, and it looked like it was going to be an ok sized crowd. He informed us that he would be starting at 9:30 from now on.

My set was similar to the earlier one. I got to try some new stuff, and I adjusted a few things from the set at Isley. People were into it, but one joke didn’t work as well. I need to really sit down and figure it out. I’d give this set a B as well.

I then grabbed my stuff, and said goodbye.

9/19

I was so stoked for tonight. It was Host Battle. This is my favorite show of all time. When we have a crowd that is into it, there is legit no better feeling in comedy.

I got to The Southern early and helped set everything up perfectly. I then did some video editing while I waited for the comics to get there.

The lineup for the night was Sam Wood, Paige Campbell, Keaton Ray, Sam Padgett, Brandon Beswick, Torrey Huggins, and Alex Castagne. We ended up getting about 45 people there. Which isn’t the best we’ve had, but was def good enough.

The show ended up being amazing. I had a lot of good lines and so did Chris. We were able to pull some really funny stuff out of a lot of people. It was like two hours of nonstop jokes. People stayed and seemed to really dig it.

I was able to figure out how to get into my dead dad material. I riffed aline, and it killed. So I can’t wait to go ahead and try it during a set. I’d give the whole show an A. From top to bottom it was the best Host Battle we have done.

After the show we all hung out for a bit, and then I headed home.

9/20

The next day I was hosting in the lounge at the DC Improv. I always love working this room, but recently I have mostly only been hosting. This is fine, and it is a real honor. I just am at a point where I want to get good enough to work my way up the ladder and get some different spots.

The lineup was Bridget Geiran, Isabel Hagan (JFL New Faces) , and Cerrome Russel. We had people drop in from the main room, but it was different each show.

The first one went ok. I had a fine hosting set, and the crowd was into it. I really felt like I had done my job as a host. They were into the show, and it just kept building and building. I’d give this set a B-.

Everybody after me did well. The show built on itself and Cerrome absolutely killed to close it out. After the show it was fun to hang and talk with Bridget and Isabel. Both super dope and funny ladies.

The second show started and they weren’t as into me. I felt like they didn’t like me and I lost them in the middle. I had some big pops but closed weaker than I wanted to. I’d give this set a C-

Still I did my job and got them laughing. The show continued to go well, and get better and better. Afterwards I headed over to Big Hunt to do the mic.

They were super weird and kind of dead here and I was like 18th on the list. So I hung out and met some comics. We had fun riffing, but I was absolutely exhausted so when they told me I was next I was ready to go.

I went up and bombed my ass off. People were not into it at all. I did newer stuff, and everyone was pretty drunk and tired. They didn’t vibe with me, and I felt like I was talking into a void. I even called them out for not laughing at a really great joke. I hated this set, and I'd give it an F.

I then said bye and walked to my car, and headed to TJs to pass out.

9/21

The next day I was at Club Eclipse in Gainesville. The other comics on the show were Lafayette Wright, Bengt Washburn, Cerrome Russel, and Rob Maher.

We had a pretty good hang going before the show. It was a lot of fun. I hadn’t gotten to talk to Rob in a while.

I went up first and had an ok set. Nothing great, and nothing awful. I started slow and it slowly built. There isn’t much to say. I’d give it a C.

After me the show just built, and everyone did great. The show just built, and each comic kept it coming. After the show I got in my car and headed home to pass out.

9/23

I got to The Southern early to set up. I tried rearranging the tables differently to try to get a more intimate feel, and to give myself a better place to set up the camera. After setting everything up I waited for comics to show up.

It was an incredibly light list. We only had 13 comics counting myself. No Richmond comics came, and we didn’t have all of the Charlottesville comics either. Chris wanted it to be a quick show so he was going to give everyone 5 minutes and we’d be all out of there by like 9:10.

The show starts and we have a nice little crowd. It is more than last week, and at least they seem attentive. Everybody begins to go up and the show is going pretty smoothly. I went over to Chris and asked him if I could go last so I could do 10 instead of 5 and he said of course.

I go up for my set and I use the first 8 minutes of my set trying new stuff. It is a super fun and productive mic. the people who are there are into it. They’re digging it. I do new jokes and a little bit of crowd work to warm them up. Then at the 8 minute mark another 14 people walked in, and headed to the bar. So Chris texted me to do 25 minutes so we could sell some more drinks. He also told me to do my A material. So I did. I flipped a switch and went into full performance mode. I ended up having a super hot set doing older stuff. I am very proud of the way I was able to adjust. I accomplished a lot, I learned a lot, and I got a good response. I’d give this set an A.

It was one of the best Southern’s I’d ever been a part of. It was still only 9:40 when the show ended which is like 25 minutes earlier than usual. All in all a super great night.

9/24

The next night the Richmond Funny Bone stand up class was doing their hell week. Tim Loulies asked some local comedians to come and help his students. He picked a made up scenario for each of his students to have to go through. So we did things like heckle, hit on them, ask questions, fake fights, talk loudly, and other things. The best news is I got a text in the middle of the show that my brother had his daughter. So I am an uncle again. I can hardly hold my excitement.

It was pretty brutal, but it was a lot of fun. I used to have problems with stand-up classes. I used to think they were rip offs, but I have adjusted my expectations. If a standup class is what you need to work up the courage to try standup you should go for i. As long as they aren’t advertising that they can make you funny it is ok. I also realize that a lot of people do this as a bucket list/groupon thing. Its the same as people that want to go to rock and roll camp.

Afterwards I talked to Tim and we squashed any beef that we had with each other. We had had a misunderstanding involving a show a little over a year before. It was a good talk and glad we had it.

After this I headed over to Fallout to get a set in. It was a light crowd. It wasn’t even a ton of comics. I got to say hi to the bartender Shelby, and also got to chill with Paige and Alex. Avery Barnard was there, and it was good to catch up. Honestly it was a fun hang. I went up like third.

I go up and try a bunch of new stuff. It works ok for the room. Some stuff gets some laughs and another bit just kind of dies. I am in this period of having a lot of new jokes, and a lot of them are clicking right away, or are at least getting tight pretty fast. The only problem is I also have like 5 or 6 really fun ideas that I just can’t seem to adjust, and make them work. I’d give this set a C. I then headed straight home to pass out.

9/26

I headed down to Hampton after work to do a spot on Ian Nightingale’s show at Sly Clyde Cidery. It is a cider in this little old house. It is a super cute set up, an apparently the shows have been awesome. I got there early and when he showed up we went to hand out some flyers, and grab quick bite to eat/drink.

After this we headed back to the venue. Nick Deez showed up and we got a nice hang in. We headed instead and Luhray and Ryan Valentine showed up. We caught up and joked around a bit.

Then the crowd started to fill in. This place got absolutely packed. It was awesome> I quickly set up my camera so I could record for everyone. Then Ian got the show started.

Ian had a good hosting set, and Nick followed that up and did fine. He had a good pop doing some crowd work which was cool. Then Luhray went up and had a killer set in the middle.

I went up and did a bit of crowd work up top, but then went right into my material. I was having a super hot set. Everything was working, and I got a few bits to hit extremely hard. I knew I'd be able to cut a few out for some videos. I’d give this set an A-.

After me Ryan went up and closed really strongly as well. He had some stuff hit super hard, and it felt like this was a really killer show. The coolest part was before Ian went up and mentioned a tip jar I told him to mention Venmo as well. It was like these people couldn’t wait to do it. We got some tips, and I headed home. Only to find out I had left my credit card in Hampton.

9/27

The next day I got Nick to go grab my credit card since we were doing the same show together at Midnight Brewing in Rockville. We were both opening for Chris Covert.

I get there early and listen to some of the Hokie football game. We got destroyed. I go inside and meet up with Chris and John Gilbreath (he is running the shows). I set up my camera, and just have a good hang. Nick Deez shows up at well since he is doing a guest spot.

There is a super small crowd. It is incredibly loud. There is no ac in the back room so there is a huge fan going, and the garage door is open. It is so dark you can’t see the tiny crowd so crowd work isn’t really an option. I tell John I need to get to a show at Buskey I am closing out after so to light me at 18.

John and Nick go up and both do ok. Honestly this crowd wasn’t giving anybody much. I went up next and I hated it. One of the least fun times I have ever had on stage. I tried crowd work, and when they laughed I couldn’t hear it over the fan. I couldn’t see their faces so I couldn’t even pretend they were laughing. It was brutal. I kept waiting for the light, but it felt like it never came. Some of my jokes worked. The big pops I could hear, but everything else (which was most of it) got nothing. I’d give this set an F.

I got off stage and saw that he never lit me, and I had just done 25. So now I was in a rush. I hopped in my car and headed downtown.

I got to Buskey in the middle of Beau Troxclair’s set. He was next to last. So I had about 3 minutes to get myself together before I had to go up. I didn’t make a set list. I am trying to be even more in the moment. I don’t want to look over at a list. I want to have a rotating list of bits in my head, and just go with what I want on these shows.

I went up and had a blast. I had the exact opposite of the set earlier. I could see people, it wasn’t loud, and it was packed. I am so glad I set my camera up. I did a bunch of new. I am proud that each show I've done here I’ve done a completely new set. I close super strong, and plug the venue. This was a killer show. I’d give my set an A.

After the show I talked to the other comics. I thanks Carlton, and got some cider from the venue (since I don’t drink and drive they let me convert my drink tickets into a six pack). Afterwards a bunch of comics went to Cobra Cabana since James Muñoz was bartending. Then I headed home

9/28

The next day I was in Staunton during the Harry Potter Festival. I got to walk around and hang out. It was actually really neat to see. I watched a Quidditch match and got to see Jeyon from the Southern up there. Got to meet his kids and chilled.

The show was at Red Beard Brewing and we had a super light crowd. I was honestly worried it was going to be awful like the previous night. I made sure I did my best though. I went up and had a super fun set. I went up after Lurae, John Gilbreath and Torrey Huggins.

I pretty much did half crowd work and half my act. The crowd was into it. I got some pretty big laughs for such a small crowd. This was a much more fun show. I’d give my set a B-.

Chris Covert went up next and did about 45 minutes of music, and had a killer set. Everybody was into it and it was a truly amazing show. I then dipped out immediately because I had to head to DC the next day.

9/29

The next day I hit up Jack Gerow to ride with me to DC so I could do a storytelling show for Mark Mensh at Reliable Tavern.

We rode up and had a super fun hang. We left pretty early because the show was going to start at 6. We got up there and I was prepping to do my schoolbus story.

We get there and it is a tiny crowd. This is also a show where it is truly about storytelling so we were warned there wouldn’t be a ton of laughs.

The show starts and people are doing ok. All of the stories are interesting, but no one is really killing or getting super huge laughs. Saw Walton, Matt Deakins, Fernando Madrigal, Sandi Benton, Josh Hebert, and others were on the show.

I finally went up and got quite a few laughs. It was a good story. Mark told me afterwards it was really well done.He is such a good dude. I’d give my set a C+. That story definitely has legs, but I am not a storytelling comic so it needs work

After my set Jack and I headed back. We rocked out to Sum 41, and it was a super fun time.

9/30

Monday at the Southen I tried setting up the room a little differently. I got there early and made sure that I had the tables lined up a certain way. I then moved the chairs to try to make the show more intimate and get more people in there.

Then I grabbed dinner with a friend. It was nice to catch up before the show. After dinner I headed back and chilled with the comics. It was really nice and relaxing. It got absolutely packed. We have some new regulars and new audience members ever week. New comics are always popping up, and it is defintley super rewarding to see.

I went up kind of the in the middle and did newer stuff. My set wasn’t crazy memorable. I got some laughs, but it honestly just felt good to have that room packed again! I’d give this set a C.

After the show I walked a couple of my friends back to their cars, and then dipped out.

10/3

I took a few days off from comedy to watch some baseball with my brother (hadn’t watched a full game since dad died.) I also got to chill with my new baby niece, and my other niece. It was so much fun to hang out with them for a few days.

After hanging I headed over to do a quick spot at Penny Lane. I hadn’t been here in months,. I was stoked to go up. There was an ok crowd, and a pretty fun hang going on.

I went up and did ok. I started pretty strong and ended mediocre. I was working out some new which felt pretty good. I am proud of the material I am doing right now. I’d give this set a C-.

After my set I said some goodbyes and gave some hugs. I was exhuasted and headed home.

10/4

The next night I was in Arlington for a bachelor party. I really wanted to get up so I took the metro a couple stops to get to Summers so I could do a spot. I get there and there is a few people there. I introduce myself to the host, and have a seat.

Glenn Lawrence shows up, and so does Heather Kilburn. Then Jack Parker and Brock Hall. It feels really good to see a few people I know.

The show starts and it’s a lot of pretty inexperienced comics. I legit have never seen most of them. I guess they live in Nova and only do these mics. They’re all doing ok, but I am ready to get up on stage.

I have to ask the host several times where he is putting me (he didn’t have me on the list at comic call). He eventually puts me up like 11th.

I go up and have a fun set. My first joke doesn’t really work, but the rest kind of kill. I am pretty happy for the set. I followed a few people who bombed pretty hard, so being able to rise and get a solid set done felt great. I”d give this set a B.

I then headed back to the bachelor party to catch up with my friends. It was a super fun night.

10/5

The next day I met up with Martin Phillips and did his podcast at the Arlington library. We had a pretty good time. I think the podcast turned out good and I always love hanging with Martin.

I then headed down to Manassas to headline Public House Kitchen. Apparently they were having a huge festival. I couldn’t find anywhere close to park. I parked a ways away and then headed to meet up with the booker Andy Sanderson.

We headed to the venue and caught up with each other. We set up the room, but we were worried it wouldn’t be packed due to the festival. The other comics Molly Fratz and Cliff McGrady showed up to hang. They’re both super nice and funny.

The show starts and it is pretty full. The crowd is into it from the start. Molly had a solid set before Andy brought up Cliff. Cliff absolutely destroyed. He is a disabled comic, and he he has a way of setting a ton of tension and releasing it. He was murdering and I was so worried I couldn’t follow it.

Then it was my turn. I go up and proceeded to have one of the best sets I have ever had in my life. I start with crowd work because there was a heckling lady, and I just let her have it. I go back to her a lot during the night. It is some killer crowd work with tons of callbacks and references. After about 15 minutes I hop over to my material and that is killing too. I even got to close out trying a bunch of my dad material. The people loved it. I’d give this set an A.

After the show I hung out and talked to people a bit. Got some nice compliments and got to hang with Cliff. I think we are going to do another show pretty soon, and it is going to rule. The I headed home.

10/6

The next night I was back in Richmond closing out The Hof Garden open mic. It was a pretty chill night. A bunch of comics went up, and they didn’t do a ton of advertising. So it was an ok sized crowd, but nothing spectacular.

The cool part was most of my friends were here. I got to hang with Kenn, Anthony, Paige, Ryan Mather, and Alex amongst others. We all had fun, and they had some good sets.

I went up and I had a fun set. I got a pretty good response, and did some crowd work. I went into a heckler and it went pretty well. I then closed on dad material and I felt good about it. I’d give this set a B-.

After my set though a drunk dude came up and screamed, “booooooo” into my ears as loud as he could. He was drunk, and being a dick but this was incredibly hurtful after doing well and doing dad material. Heck the guy who heckled me even told me it was a good set. This dude was just a pos, but it put me in a bad headspace. I talked to Anthony for a while and he put it into perspective for me and I really appreciated that. I headed home and passed out.

10/7

I had felt under the weather all day. I decided even though I missed work to head to The Southern. I got to town and did a photoshoot to promote my new shirt. So I walked around the downtown mall, and got some super cute and funny pics with the three colored shirts. I started t notice I felt crappy though during this.

I went to the mic, and it was fun. It was packed which was cool too. We went ahead and set up a ton of chairs and got everybody situated which was dope. The show started and everybody did well.

I went up and did ok. I did a lot of new. Some pops, but not a ton. I didn’t bomb, but with so much new material it just didn’t hit the way I wanted it to. I’d give this set a C.

I felt pretty bad so I went home and passed out. I woke up in the middle of the night and was super sick. So I went to the doctor the next day and missed the entire week of work dealing with a horrendous virus. I had to cancel several paying gigs because I didn’t think I'd be healthy in time. This was the sickest I’ve been since college.

10/11

I had been sick all week but made myself go to set up and run my first show at Hollys Diner in Charlottesville. I had been promoting for over a month and really wanted a successful show. I was nervous and kind of bummed since my headliner bailed on me at the last minute. I understand why though. He got a better gig and took it. Which is the same thing I would have done. So I just bumped the feature (Mu Cuzzo) up to headline and gave Paige Campbell, Heather Kilburn longer spots, and added Ry Mather.

I get there and set up. I feel pretty crappy, but I am ready for the show. We actually get a pretty dope crowd. I was so surprised at the turnout for the show. I was super nervous, because I don’t have a great track record of people coming out to shows I produce.

I go up and people are pretty talkative so I assume it is going to suck. Then I just started and people started to quiet down and pay attention. The regulars at the bar were into it, and so were the people who came to the show. I did about 12 minutes and it all went really well. People were really warm-up and into it. I’d give my set a B-.

Then the show just kept getting better. Everybody did well. Ry, Heather and Paige all had super fun sets. They really made me proud and helped the show. Then Mu closed out with 30+ and he had a really super fun time.

After that Jack Gerow ran the open mic portion. I made sure to avoid the pitfall I see many people do. I didn’t differentiate between the showcase and the open mic. I just brought Jack up saying he was the host for the rest of the show. This worked great. Honestly the crowd stuck in there for the most part. Until a comic had a joke not work, and then they were like, “it’s an open mic what do you want?” Then the audience started to be less engaged. This was infuriating to watch someone derail a show like that.

The rest of the show was fine. Some people after that did really well, but now I know I have to make a rule about not mentioning it is an open mic on stage.

After the show I packed up, and walked to my car. I then headed home to finally get some rest.

10/12

I had to cancel my other weekend shows since I was sick. I then decided to go and watch and support my friend Paige headlining at College Inn. I got there and was feeling a little bit better so John Marg offered me a five minute guest spot.

I went up and did ok. I was still out of it and probably shouldn’t have performed, but most of my jokes did well. It felt good to perform, but I was definitely in no shape to travel for this weekend. I’d give this set a B.

I then hung with Paige, Sean Wells, Samantha Padgett, and Marg. I watched Paige go up and do about 25 minutes and everyone seemed to dig the show. We went to eat afterwards and I just got a coffee.

After hanging I felt miserable so I headed home to sleep. I felt so bad I couldn’t sleep and ended up passing out at about 5 am.

10/13

I was still feeling rough, but way better so I went to do the live podcast Booze Clues at Hof Garden. I got to do this podcast because I won the comedy smackdown contest the previous month.

This podcast is people just taking turns talking about different stories in the news involving alcohol. This month’s they were all from Florida so we were supposed to dress like Florida man.

So I dressed up and headed to the show. It was a super light crowd, and they were kind of drunk and rowdy. I told myself I was just going to have fun on the podcast. Which is what I did. I had mine together the most. I was able to riff and get some big laughs. I did my best and was super proud of how it went. I’d give it a B.

I left immediately to get a good night’s sleep because I wasn’t missing work the next day, and I was going to watch the Cardinals play the Nationals. My brother got us tickets to honor dad at the last minute.

10/16

That Wednesday I was getting to host the open mic at Isley. I was kind of nervous because this show has really been hit or miss. I had a bunch of pre-sign ups so I was going to run it super tight.

There was a light crowd, but they were into it and ended up staying the whole time. I went up and did some new, and riffed a bit. It was a fine set I’d give it a C. I then started bringing people up.

I had some fun riffs in between comics, and we were busting balls, and just having a great time. I brought Paige up as his first time doing comedy and he had fun pretending to be super nervous.

This show ended up being super fun even with the small crowd. I said my goodbyes and headed to Home Sweet Home.

I get there and Kusterer has me going up second. I got to chill and hang with a bunch of people and there was an actual crowd upstairs. He got the show started late because there was a Washington Capitals game on.

After the game the show started and Jason went up. After him Carlton K had a set, and he set me up pretty well to riff on his stuff and do new material.

I went up and busted his balls, and tried all new stuff. I had a few new jokes that worked really well. I also had a few bomb completely. This was a fun and productive set. I leaned in super hard making a joke about Heather Heyer. I don’t know why I leaned in, but I was just having a good time. I’d give this set a B-.

I headed straight home to rest again as soon as this was done.

10/17

The next night I was headlining at North America Sake. I invited a few friends and once I got there I saw there wasn’t a huge crowd. I didn’t even set up my camera because I was still out of it a little from being sick.

But I was able to grab a bunch of mochi ice cream to eat. I assumed that was what I was going to get paid in. I had a fun meal with Samantha Padgett, Heather Kilburn, David Luzader, and Chris Alan.

The show starts and it is a light crowd, but people are into it. Everybody goes up and does pretty well. Since Chris is headlining later in the week I am the one closing out and I have to follow him. He does a bunch of crowd work and has a good set. I am nervous. I think he is super hard to follow and I didn’t feel like working that hard.

So I go up and it goes way better than I expected. I did about 33 minutes and had a blast. I worked through some of my dad material and did a bunch of new stuff. It just made me happy to be able to not only follow Chris, but be able to keep people’s attention in a small crowd, and just have fun. I’d give this set a B After this I talked to some friends, and gave a friend a ride back to their car before heading out and passing out.

10/18

After work I headed to Lovingston to headline the first comedy show at The Lovingston Cafe. My friend Colby Knight was running the show. It was going to be him, Jake Snyder, and then me. This was to be followed by an open mic.

I headed there right after work and stopped in Charlottesville to grab dinner with a friend and get a few pictures taken. After eating I headed straight to Lovingston. Which is between Lynchburg and Charlottesville. There’s like nothing going on there.

I go inside and not many people are there, but the stage looks cool. There is a long bar on the side and a raised stage at the front. I’d say by the time the show started there was like 16 drunk people there.

Colby goes up and does a pretty good job warming them up. They are laughing and actually paying attention. After this Jake goes up and has one of the better sets I have seen him have. He really had them hooked with his material from the beginning.

Then I went up and had an absolute blast. I had to work my ass off. I wish I had recorded because I had some really fun crowd work and my material was working. I did close to 30 minutes and I'd say about 20 was crowd work and about 10 of material. They dug me, and I was able to read people really well. We honestly had the best time. The people who run the cafe also are part owners of Fallout. So they were super happy with how it went. I’d give my set a B+.

Afterwards I left pretty quickly after saying goodbye. I wanted to get a good night’s rest, and just enjoying being at home.

10/19

My plan’s had been cancelled this night so I got to hop on and do a guest spot for Chris at The Southern during his headlining show. It was going to be a super fun night.

Chris was headlining, TJ Ferguson was featuring, Paige and I were doing guest spots and JR was hosting. There was a good little crowd and I had some friends from work come up to check out the show which was awesome.

They sat in the front and the show started. JR and Paige both had pretty good sets, but they weren’t the best crowd. They were kind of wack, and nobody could get them to crack. I went up and it was pretty much the same. I opened strong and then switched to new like an idiot and just didn’t close well. I’d give my set a D.

Chris went up and killed thought which was dope to see. He did a lot of crowd work, and really ripped into my friends who were in the front row. The video turned out super good, and I am glad I have it.

After the show I hung for a bit, but I was extremely sleepy. I walked to my car and headed home to pass out. I woke up the next day with a text message from Paige. They saw a homeless lady wearing my t-shirt. It was pretty awesome, and made my day. She said she got it because it was so cute.

10/20

I decided to hop in and do a mic last minute at Brewer’s Cafe in Manchester. I got there and there was like no audience. The only comics were Remo, Melissa Harris, Soo Ra (a New York comic on a layover), Mark Viola ( an Orlando comic passing through) and myself. Then there were about 4 people who come to all of these shows to hang out.

Remo started the show. He did as well as he could. He was just working out ideas. Some of it was funny, but it was mostly just conversation as he tried to find the funny in all of his new bits.

He then brought me up and it was just me talking to black people for 15 minutes. I tried a few ideas and got some laughs. Then I asked the audience about what their thoughts about Bill Cosby, and R. Kelly was. We had a good discussion, and it helped me with a lot of bits, but I was not getting a ton of laughs. I was trying to work this stuff out. It was super productive but I hated my set so I’d give it a D-.

The rest of the comics went up and did as well as expected. A few more people showed up, and it was honestly a lot of fun. I didn’t feel bad in the moment because everyone was bombing. I was glad to have figured some jokes out. I have felt really disorganized lately, and I need to work on that.

I headed to a friend’s and passed out immediately.

10/22

There was no Southern Monday so I had the day off. The next day was Paige’s birthday. So I decided to get a group together to do an episode of The Winstmas Games where he got to pick his favorite games and contestants and play.

We went over to Brandon Beswick’s house and had a super fun time. He made dinner and Alex, Paige, Taylor, Brandon, and I did a super fun episode of the podcast.

Paige, Alex, and I then headed to Fallout. I asked to go early so I could get some sleep. There was a few people here, but not a crazy amount. They weren’t super into the show, but Jesse Jarvis was hosting and he did a super dope job as always.

Before the show started I got to hang with some friends and have a little fun. I am doing this new stupid bit that involves me flossing (not on stage, and yes the dance). It is so dumb and gets people every time. So it’s a blast.

Jarvis then called me up. I did ok. I got some pretty good laughs, and got to work on a lot of new stuff. It was a super productive and fun set. I’d give this one a B-.

Before leaving I talked to the owner’s of Lovingston Cafe. They were still super happy with the show and invited me back which was super nice.

10/23

I was so excited that I was getting to headline in Lynchburg at Speakertree records. Apparently the last show they did was awesome. So after work I headed straight up there.

I get there and no one is there. Just the host Jake Snyder. The room looks absolutely amazing. I get all my merch ready to sell. I roll them up and put them in a bad. I take my camera and tripod in as well.

I set everything up and wait for people to get there. No one ever really shows up. The show was Jake, Paige, Brandon, and myself. Then there was an open mic afterwards. The only audience members who weren’t performing were a girl’s bf, and a random girl who saw it on FB.

the other comics were a girl named Paige, a dude named Skylar (who showed up 10 minutes into my set), and John Marg. I am super bummed that no one shows up, but the hang before hand is dope and I got a super cute pic of me.

The show starts and it is low energy, but we are all having fun. Everyone there is friends, and we are trying new stuff and busting balls. Jake, Paige, and Barndon all did well. I am always impressed with people that can just do their material in the face of no one being at a show. I don’t have enough confidence in my material to ever do that.

Then it is my turn. I start with some crowd work and riff on the room. I get some good laughs and then I start talking to the girl who isn’t performing. Her name is Hannah and we have a super fun time. She says she is from Liberty, but she likes comedy.

I did about 30+ minutes of newish material. They seem to dig it. I have some solid riffs and try some material I have never really done before. I am definitely happy with how it went, but it didn’t feel crazy good the whole time. I’d give it a C.

After this I stuck around for the open mic to support Jake. I then talk to the new comics a bit, and thank Hannah for being a good sport. I then drove straight home. I got to have a dope conversation with my buddy Alex which made it fly by. He was at the DC Improv and I was so proud of him.

10/24

The next night I just hopped into Penny Lane after hanging with some friends. I asked to go up early and James Muñoz let me.

Nothing too crazy happened here. There was a group of white supremecists who did not know comedy was going to be happening. James did his set, and they started to close out their tabs.

He brought me up and I proceeded to just bomb doing my new jokes for 7 minutes. I was just loud, performative, and enunciated for the 4 people that were actually there to see comedy. During my set all the white supremacists left. So I think I was just a buffer to clear them out. I’d give this set an F. I didn’t stick around long at all and headed home.

10/25

All of my shows got cancelled this weekend. This sucked because it was the second weekend in a row where some paying stuff got cancelled. I was super bummed. I was going to just go watch the show at Buskey, but when I hit up Carlton he said some people had bailed and asked if I wanted to do a spot on the show. I said absolutely.

So I hung out with a friend, got dinner, went to the circuit, and headed to Buskey. I got to chill with all of my friends at the show. It was actually a fun hang. Jack Johnston, Jack Parker, Taylor Baldwin, Will Minor, Carlton, Mu, and Kusterer were all there.

It was a lighter crowd than usual but it was definitely a solid crowd. They were into the show. I went up third. First was Will Minor and Carlton had made a hat for him that made him look like the Buskey Cider logo.

Then Jack Johnston went up and had a really solid set. It was good to see. I was very proud. Then it was my turn.

I went up and a dude had heckled Carlton so I busted his balls about that. I kept calling back to the dude, and had a super fun set. I did mostly newer stuff, but a few older things. This is the best room in the city and I felt good about my set. I’d give it a B.

After my set I saw there were some people from work who recognized me. They said hey, and it was cool to be recognized even though I haven’t really talked to them before. I then hung out in the back and chilled with my friends.

After the show some of us went to Hof Garden. By that time Taylor O’Sullivan had showed up so we walked over there, and had a drink on the rooftop. It was a super fun time. I was super tired so I drove my friend home, and then headed back.

10/27

I wanted to do a quick set after hanging out with my nieces. I headed over to Tastys. I asked to go first. There wasn’t anyone really there and the music was going. So I went up and bombed my dong off for 6 minutes. I legit got like no laughs at all. It was brutal. I’d give it an F.

10/28

This was going to be a super fun show at The Southern. I had decided to make it a Halloween show. So people cold wear costumes and at the end of the show Chris would pick, and then they would win free tickets to The Winstmas Games.

I got to the show incredibly early and set it up. I made sure we had enough seats for everybody since it has been packed lately. I was wearing my Calvin and Hobbes costume and I was so excited to get this show going. A lot of the comics dressed up which was dope.

The show started and the crowd was weird. The only things they really laughed at were jokes about costumes. So some people did really well and some bombed super hard. I was the latter.

I went up and did completely new material. Like stuff I’d never done before. It did not go great. The only stuff that killed was me riffing about being Calvin. It was a lot of fun, but it was also kind of frustrating. I felt terrible after this set. I’d give it an F.

It was one of those shows where it didn’t matter that I bombed. I got to hang with my friends and that was so awesome. Everyone looked great and the crowd really dug when Paige did a set as Mario. His set was the set of the night.

I grabbed all of my stuff and sold a t-shirt to a friend. Found out that Chris had lost his shirt and that is where the homeless woman got it. So that is how we solved that mystery. All in all a great time.

10/29

There was no show today. I just did my podcast with Paige, Jack Johnston, Jack Parker, and Ry Mather. We had a really fun time. We got into a good discussion about comedy by the end of the show. It was a super good podcast. I then headed home.

OMG folks that’s it. I am caught up. I will be back now. I’ve been depressed, but I haven’t forgotten. I got sick a week and it just threw me off. But I love you laydees so much for sticking it out and supporting #cutecomedy. We will keep it up. LOVE Y’ALL xoxo

#comedy #jokes #standup #hilarious #halloween #scary #spooky #dc #rva #virginia #improv #bombing #heckler

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lakeblutomski · 3 years

Text

a story

the general voted for barack obama

basically i was going to have to walk an ied laden path

i was guaranteed going to lose my legs

all the while the general is a big pimp

then this general is my god because in america you can’t get paid

so then i go off post and previously

youth sports so different schematics

the iraqi’s or other labels applied to that demographic

so telepathically them getting the general with paperwork issues

then back to america

my dad handles general and i am from what i originally said

eg guitar doing it right honorable so good kids overseas

someone’s dad killed themself

the token person doing their ass kissing

different town tokens so the response women fertility

entertainers

at the end of the day military benefits teeth

my uncle eric who was incarcerated

the lights where pathologically anything can make sense

so if i had waited and voted for barack instead

smith the nco in richmond and his stuff

so before my teeth hurt and waiting

i think he put semen in fried rice chinese food he bought and gave me leftovers

so him with his issues tucker max as a person a ahole grad

i studied some internet maddox the most awesome page in the internet

me and smith and him suggesting mccain him getting laid with my friends

dad’s friend don bucci playing drops of jupiter on guitar

sarcastic open mic night mocked

the general so some not possible constraints

ironies

can’t pay etc

james and his points hedwig and the angry inch

a drag queen gay man him seeing this in dc

nelly’s the u st gay bar local school gays evan dobbs

so people being territorial

the people with their power and stance and rebuttals

military families and other wealth

bad people

incoherency

so the cochran and russell women the education explanation

drop out

so the tokens being loyal to their masters

playing the springbank different thoughts that’s the school

virginia ben franklin resident alien

the general so looking at his picture

the pictures on the wall

aryan nation the regime

out of court settlements

the long grey line and punishments harsh punishments

orphans

the general having kids overseas and elsewhere

so smith his ducati red motorcycle

me not believing him when he told me he went to germany

what most people said the club and the beer and prostitution

james so his gigantic he said self inflicted scar

tried to kill himself

his girlfriend his dog bronx scary

his beard

me finding him on a forum

maybe distantly connected to my dad’s real estate

so the colony and errors the fault finding

taxes and probably wrongs

for example black band shirt in person merch from dc

target stones

then communism

people don’t want to talk to me any more

however that’s reality it’s not a fantasy

so smith said he would pay for my book

he introduced me to his captain

he told me about how he still had his formations to attend to

i may have seen him offer me barbeque at the wtb in georgia

that got bad quick

there used to be fights there i heard about and over doses

i was there and jail show on tv

so the counter response

wait as the tom brady and mahomes story

race i think a term i heard is racial impurity

buccanneers may have came back don’t remember

tear jerker

winner

not what i was into

so may have heard my dad say you can’t be an expert in everything

municipal waste gwar

people wanting my time and attention yet

my sister in laws hearing through the casino

some of that is true and helps

they’re not going to pay for it

though tolkien and reality

apparently i didn’t give quote warnings

america before leaving

parents brokerage me not wanting to i think be

a post op trannie or a homeless person a lot of things seen

then the upgrades

saw andrew last night at brothers house

jono

bobby keyes

a disrespected humiliated clown

a guitarist

riffs

so i can and have watched some awful porn

adultery power exchange bullying anal oral etc

so smith

next door to james

did i have my eyes cut with a knife

unending paranoia

insurance

my teeth could have the repairs fall out and end up like the georgians

that’s a better saying the georgians

blue oyster cult do not fear the reaper

tests and samples and agreements

my dad knows the nuns

so some lessons

getting put with the foreigners

wanting to graduate

utilities

the surveys

the lesson was

you end up doing that to the wrong person

a sighting shakespeare theatre company

the general again ready to retaliate on me

so seeing a charismatic jaw punch in the play

the general auto insurance commercials on cable

chris cooley

doing things different my dad blonde

genetic modification

blade runner harrison ford

watched some more phil dick on youtube movies

actually saw a guy get brought back to georgia immediately

i left and raymond was there i was under duress

so i smoked marijuanna with eric lafgren due to threats etc

then sergeant wilson starts calling me again

i fortunately am released early from my closing date

andrew said he was quitting drugs and his dad was there

looking down on me and his racism or other insinuations

homosexuality his girlfriend and shamus

the guy who got sent back

he gets pain killers thought at one point was doing sexual favors for more drugs

i drove him because he asked me and threat coded me

pharmacies off post a like ultra deluxe one

the van the nco’s in fact did sell me great things

the german tv that didn’t work

the dodge caravan like the usps with high mileage

i flipped in that in a weird storye

was i asleep was a rocket shot at me the wheel spiraled the vehicle

so a guy came and showed me i could close out and go back to the unit

blow job

he shows me his clip of someone popping up that quick with

a rocket launcher real scary and he had the footage on a

illegal technology ungoverned so another guy

got a toughbook outdoor laptop free

tried shooting himself in the face and it didn’t kill himself

barreiro taking me off post him date raping me with muscle relaxers

the hotel hanging out outside base

the nco’s covering for him he went to africa

a video of him drunk jumping like a frog

the ranks getting diesel strong and doing unbelievable

he filmed me having sex with what he said was a prostitute he paid

at one point i thought it was my mom

the escalation

so someone crying by the wait to drive back

the war zone over here

islamaphobia is what the nightclub said

the conversation points

so people coming up with their ideas

that’s some of this

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winstonhcomedy · 5 years

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“Dope A-F” - 4/19-4/22 - “I’m Probably Not Going To Do That”

Let’s get it popping you sweet ass laydees and baybees! I had a fun and interesting weekend, and then a fun show Monday night. So let’s get to it boo!

4/19

There was a huge storm coming for Richmond so I was able to get out of work early. I am beyond happy I did because I was in traffic forever on 95. It usually takes me at the most 2 hours to get to DC, and I didn’t get parked until about 3 1/2 hours. Just a lot of accidents and people not knowing how to drive.

I finally get up there and get my usual parking spot. I then walked about 35 minutes until I get to the DC Comedy Loft at Bier Baron. I am going to be hosting for Eddie Pence in the cellar area. It is a dope basement room and always an interesting and fun show. It is much more intimate than the upstairs room, and honestly I prefer it.

I get there and they’ve got a lot of stuff set up. Eddie is filming a crowdfunded comedy special. He has brought his feature with him and her name is Jennifer Sterger (Roast Battle, The Upside). When I get there Eddie is talking to the sound guy Grant about the rundown of the show. It sounded a little weird to me, and when Grant points me out as the host Eddie runs it down for me.

Eddie wanted me to go up and do 10. Then the feature do 10. Eddie does an hour and then I go back up and do another 10 while they drop checks. He asks me if this is ok, and in a rare moment of self worth I tell him it doesn’t make sense for me to be making half the money the feature is and having to do twice the time. He understood this completely and we changed it to where she would go up twice. I felt weird about standing up for myself, but honestly at the end of the day I know I did the right thing. It was super dope after that because everybody was cool and understanding and I throughly enjoyed getting to know both of them.

The first show starts and it’s al to of Eddie’s friends and family, but they were an older crowd and were super tight. I had a pretty good set, but I was working my ass off to break through. I messed up the wording on some of my jokes which was frustrating, but for the most part the audience couldn’t tell. I’d give this set a C+. It was a solid start to a hosting weekend.

Jennifer went up and they were not fans of her. I felt bad, because they just did not dig her shit. Which sucks because it was totally the crowd. They just didn't vibe. After her was Eddie. He is a good comic, and had some strong material. The audience was so drunk, and just not great. He had a really good set, but his stuff was not killing the way that it should have.

After his set she and him both went back up and did a Q and A type of thing to pass the time. It was super awkward, but I was just glad I didn’t have to do it. Also they had no AC on because of the noise throwing off the recording. So it was like 90 degrees in there and everybody was sweating like crazy.

Because they didn’t sell enough tickets they cancelled the second show and scheduled a male strip show. So I grabbed my bag as soon as the show was over and walked over to Big Hunt. Even though I had a bunch of time to kill before the show I would rather hang out at Hunt than sit around and do nothing. I grabbed some Tiki Taco, and got over there.

I went downstairs at Hunt and Charlie Ross was there. We hung and talked as more comics showed up. Eventually Maddy Brannon and Martin Amini came in to chill since they had been opening up the paid shows this weekend. Sean also came in and was explaining to a new comic the steps to get on open mics.

Everybody is shooting the shit, and having a good time. They were saying the second show for them had a super tight crowd. I could tell just from the sound of the room that they were hesitant. We all talked about how that’s how comedy works sometimes. It was a good fun talk. Michael Summers eventually showed up and then Sean made the list. I found out I was going first and I was so excited, because there is nothing I like more than getting to head out early in DC.

The show starts and they seem a little tight. Sami Sfeir was hosting and it took his whole set for him to crack them. When I get called up I just really go in and try to sell all my jokes. I got some big pops and tried a new joke that worked pretty well there. I am super pleased with how it goes. I’d give this set a B. A solid and dope start. I head off stage, grab my stuff, say goodbye, and head back to my car to go to TJs where I pass out almost immediately.

4/20

I spent most of the next day sleeping. The only time I left TJs was to go grab a bite to eat with him at Hooters. After this we headed back and napped before I got my shit together and headed back to DC. I got to my parking spot and walked right over. I was excited because both shows were happening tonight.

I get there and the first show looks like it is going to be lightly attended at first. I kind of chill and relax and get in the mindset of another tough show. As we get closer and closer to showtime it really starts to fill out. It is pretty packed and they have a great energy. I also find out they are going to keep the AC on tonight, and also the format changed (now it will be me doing 10, then him doing an hour, then her doing 10).

The show starts and I have a really dope and hot hosting set. Everything is working, and I felt like I could have gone on way over my time. I close super strong and I’d give this set a B. They are super warmed up and I bring Eddie up and he has a super hot set for an hour. I feel like he is going to get a lot of usable footage out of it. Then Jennifer goes up and they dig her a lot. She has a much better set than the night before which I was happy about.

After the first show Jennifer and I talk about the other stuff she does and what she’s into. Her husband plays baseball, but she does a lot of stuff with wrestling which is pretty awesome. So we talk about that for a while.

The second show of the night is going to be shit. It is a light crowd. They’re all super drunk and I can tell they aren’t going to be a lot of fun. An older white dude wearing gym shorts, t shirt, and socks in flip flops comes over and asks me how many comics are on the show. He asks me if I’m funny, then asks if the headliner is funny, and then how long the show is going to be. It was a super strange interaction.

This show is about half the size of the first one and the audience seems wack. I go up and I struggle. I warm them up, but I am definitely having to work my ass off on this one. The stuff from the first show works, and I close a little differently. I did my job, but was not happy with it at all. I’d give it a C-. Eddie then goes up and he also has to fight them forever. People won't quit texting or talking and after his set I find out he people being the worst are some of his friends from high school. Some people are just ass holes. Jennifer goes up and does ok, but honesty we were all just powering through this one.

I get my check and talk to everybody. THey’re super nice as I say my goodbyes and I feel like I’ve definitely made some friends this weekend. I then head over to Big Hunt. I get there and the crowd is pretty awesome. I am up in a few people so I am just hanging in the hall. Nathan Luft is hosting this one.

I end up having an interesting discussion about road comics, good rooms/bad rooms, and the importance of doing both with a few of the other comics. Talks like this are always fun even when I don’t agree with what is being said.

While Im there I hear my buddy Ross screaming at people heckling from the stage. Then someone got the bouncer and made a huge scene throwing these guys out. I’m like 10 feet away sitting with Jack Coleman as these dudes are getting thrown out. It was low-key awesome to see even though it disrupted the show.

After this I go up and have a fun set. I have a heckler but he’s not a big deal. I kill with my first bit and the second one I do only does ok which is fine. I was still super happy with how I handled the heckler and just did my own shit. I’d give my set a B/B+. I then walked to my car and started to drive home. I get back at around 4 am and pass out so I can go to church with the family the next day.

4/22

I am in a great mood at work all day. I had had a super great Easter with my family. We all got together, ate a bunch of food, and enjoyed a super fun day. So I had all this positive energy follow me through the day which was super nice. I was stoked to get to do The Southern.

I talk to Paige on the phone up there and I riff a new idea, and he tells me to try it. I am super nervous, but I love having new jokes and I love this room. I finally get to the show at about 7. I come in super happy and start shooting the shit with Paige, Danny (the gm), and JR.

People start walking in and I just have a fun energy. I’m busting balls, and riffing until the cows come home. Chris shows up and he seems a little upset. This blows over pretty quickly and we are all having fun. He gets the list ready and has a comics meeting outside. We are piggy backing the show (each comic brings up the next comic) and I am up third. In-between Chris Cantrell, and Keaton Ray.

Chris gets the show started pretty close to on time. There isn’t a ton of people here, but we are determined to have fun. As Chris starts his set a few more people start to file in. Honestly it is awesome to see. We get a pretty good crowd for the open mic all things considered. The best thing is usually when people come to this mic they stay for like 90% of it.

The first few comics do ok, but can’t really break through. I go up and I start a little weak up top, but eventually break through. I get some big laughs, and my NEW BIT WORKED. I only did it as a quick line, but I realize there is a lot of meat on those bones. I’m going to work the hell out of that joke until it is a signature bit. I’d give my set a B-, but honestly I get off stage and feel like a million bucks.

As the show goes on I get to hang and see a bunch of people I hadn’t seen in a while like Anne Meng, John Marg, Sam Padgett, Charles Bill, Keaton, and some others. Anne takes a super funny Boomerang of me with my legs in the air pretending to finger myself that made me laugh out loud. As each comic goes up there is a lot of good sets this night. The audience is small but mighty. All in all a great night. I leave early so I can get some rest. I talk to Paige on the way home, and I stop at Sheets to get some fried cheese. A super fun time, and I’m really glad I got to do it.

THIS WAS A HOOT TO DO LAYDEES! I’ve got some big shows this week. Tots on Wednesday in Blacksburg at 9:30 and Thursday is the last Host Battle open mic at Pro Re Nata at 8 in Crozet. So come one and come all. I love you all very much. Thanks for the support and see y’all next time. XOXOXO

#comedy #jokes #funny #hilarious #roast #dc #washington #comedy club #improv #comedy loft

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winstonhcomedy · 6 years

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“Dope A-F”- 2/4 - 2/10 - “30 Comics Walk Into a Bar”

I’m behind. I got to get back on track and try to run these tasty little shows down. We had some hot and dope ones! So let’s get to it.

2/4

This was the Southern. My favorite show of the week. I get there early to set up. I had to miss last week due to booked shows so I am stoked to see everybody. It is just such a relaxing night, and a great hang.

After setting up the PA and taking down the chairs other comics start to show up. As the sign up list starts to fill it becomes abundantly clear how many new comics are starting in the scene. By the time sign up is done we have 30 comics on the list and I don’t know half of them. As I’ve stated in previous blog posts this is a good problem to have.

The only thing that is kind of lame is with so many comics we get less stage time. I remember a year ago when at The Southern open mic I used to be able to do 10 to 20 minutes depending on the night. I definitely miss those nights from my first few years doing comedy, but with more comics we get more shows, and bigger shows, and better shows. So it is a tradeoff I am happy to make.

Chris starts the show and the audience is dope.We have so many comics he decides to “piggy-back” the show (the comic on stage brings up the next comic). The audience is super into it and they want to laugh. A couple comics go up and do pretty well. Then this new comic goes up and is absolutely horrendous. He is telling a story that has no punchlines, he has horrible delivery, and is just being rude to the audience. Now he’s a new comic so this alone isn’t a huge deal. It sucks, but it isn’t the end of the world. The worst part is he is running the light. Everyone is only getting 4 minutes because of how many comics are on the show and he is disrespecting that. Multiple people are waving the light at him and Chris eventually yells from off stage, “you're done get off the stage.” The guy keeps trying to finish and Chris won’t let him. He finally brings Paige on stage and slinks off.

I look over and see Chris really getting on this guy for disrespecting the show and the other comics. Just blatantly ignoring the light your first time is a huge no-no. Also he just had a screw you attitutde and kept calling an audience member, “young mike pence.” Like he did it like 10 times to absolutely no laughter. One of the cringiest sets I've seen.

Paige goes up and has a hot one. This dude could have buried him with his shit-ass set but he didn’t. Paige really got this new trans chunk to work. It is really clicking. Super proud to see this stuff come together. He had a hot one and got the show back on track.

Kristina Montouri went up next and then it was my turn. I had a super fun set. I got to work out some stuff, and a tally got some good video. I feel like I had one of the better sets of the night. The best part is I finally figured out how to deliver my Trump is the 16th worst president bit. I also add another bit to the end that I could never get to work a couple of years ago. It fits perfectly in this joke and I get the best response with it I have ever gotten. I’d give my set a B+. I needed to figure that joke out.

I was stoked I got to go so early on this show. I love going early on these shows with a ton of comics. It means I get to hang out, and just shoot the shit with my friends. I get to enjoy other people’s sets without having to have anxiety about when I am about to go up.

Overall the rest of the show goes well. I stick around until the end. I help clean up like usual and hang for a bit before heading home. All in all it was a super great Monday night.

2/5

I have two shows in DC. Both at the Bier Baron. Upstairs at Bier Baron is the Capitol Laughs open mic, and downstairs is pass the mic put on by Comedy Block.

I head up to DC and get there a little early. I decide to trying film scenes for the next episode of Lunch Boiyz. I head to Tiki Taco. Which is a dope late night taco spot near the venue.

I get some jerk chicken tacos, and absolutely devour them. They were so good. I get some good clips, but I don’t know when I will get to finish the episode. It’s a lot of editing and I have a hard time finding the energy to finish them. It’s hard enough to keep up with a blog, do shows, work my job, book shows, have a podcast, edit sets together, and stuff like that. I need to make more time.

I head over to Bier Baron and get ready for the shows. My buddy TJ is hosting downstairs and Phil Mike is hosting upstairs. I get to catch up with some comics I haven’t seen in a while and I get to go relatively early on both shows so I am pretty excited.

I go upstairs and I get to shoot the shit with Benjy Himmelfarb, Michael Sommers, and Ross Benoit amongst others. I am going up third so I head into the room. It is a small/intimate but energetic group. The first few comics do pretty well. The dude before me has his mic cut out so he just starts yelling. The joke goes over great and the crowd is super into it.

I go up and say that the last set proves to me that, “the only difference between a comedian and a crazy homeless person is a microphone.” I yell and riff about tit a little bit and get them on my side. I am only doing four minutes so I go into a couple bits and have a pretty hot set. I feel great about it. I’d give it a B/B+.

I then head downstairs and find out that I am next. The crowd down here is also intimate, but just like upstairs they are in the mood for comedy. Natalie McGill and Tim Miller go before me and they absolutely murder. Both are super good comics so I know I have to bring it. Tim has a super funny bit about spelling the word silhouette. Super dope stuff.

I go up next and really connect with the crowd. The jokes are hitting and I’m really connecting. I get some pretty good video from this one. The best part is I did my Trump/race joke again but this time it was in front of a mostly black crowd. This is important to do with jokes like this. If you can’t do a race joke in front of the race it features then you shouldn’t do that joke at all. My set goes well and I’d give it a B/B+ as well. I dip out immediately after my set. I say my goodbyes and walk back to my car then head home. I listen to my sets, and hear some new areas I can take my jokes. This was a dope Tuesday.

2/6

I have to go back to DC for The Upper Crust which is a comedy show in the upstairs bar of Dangerously Delicious Pies. I am super stoked on this because I love comedy and I love pie.

I get up here and start to kind of panic about parking. I find a spot and just sit in my car for like 40 minutes waiting to pay to park. I do this sometimes since a lot of parking has like a two hour limit, and I get to shows super early.

I go inside and head upstairs to the bar. It is a super dope setup. Like a tight stage/backdrop. It is a long narrow room with low enough ceilings that I think this is going to be a super fun show

The host Ben Daniels shows up. I get a ticket for a free piece of pie and I get the French Toast pie. Which is A buttermilk pie with a slated caramel glaze on top. It was absolutely delicious. This show didn’t have a huge audience by any means. I would say that before I went on we had about 8 or 9 people not counting the few comics who were there.

Ben and I catch up and talk about what is going on in each scene. Kevin Skiffington shows up and we shoot the breeze a bit as well. We joke around and I film some more scene for Lunch Boiyz.

Ben starts the show and gets the small group of people to pay attention. They never get super hooked, and I really want to try to do my best to win them over. They want to laugh, they just feel al little weird because of the intimacy of the show.

I go up and immediately ditch my material. I heard someone say something about Hall and Oates when I walked to the stage so I focused on that. I did some very Hall and Oates centric crowd work. We talked about 80s music and how good the pie was. I mostly just stuck to the crowd work until I had them hooked. After that I did a couple jokes. I got a good response on everything and felt like I really opened them up. I’d give my set a B.

After my set I said my goodbye’s and thank yous. I then headed downstairs and bought a chocolate chess pie and a cherry pie. I loaded up my car and headed back home. I checked the time and realized I had time to get back to Richmond and get two more mics in.

I hit up Jacob McFadden at Home Sweet Home and he put me up late. So I drive as fast as I legally can. I get there and find out I'm going up in a few spots. I tell myself I'm not going to have a mental breakdown this time. I am just going to try new stuff and have fun. There is like no one upstairs except for a few new comics who are going up, and a couple people there to see a friend. I take it upon myself to try a new bit about the make a wish foundation. It goes ok. People aren’t into anything. I do some crowd work and talk about the Hall and Oates thing. I’d give this set a D. It was fun, and I felt comfortable. I’m glad I tried the new bit out.

I then drive over to Nuevo Mexico hosted by Moe Singleton. I video call him and he tells me it is just a workshop and that no one is there. I say screw it and go anyway. I get there while Chris St. John is on stage. There is three audience members, the bartender, and three comics. He asks if I want to go next and of course I say yes.

I go up and legit just do like 15 minutes of crowd work. I am riffing with a couple girls at the bar and the one dude who came out. I am having fun and getting some good laughs. I just feel comfortable. My expectations were tempered, and I need to do that more. I was having fun and it showed. I got some big pops, and I got laughs with stuff that bombed earlier at Home Sweet Home. My make a wish joke has legs to it. I just need to put it in my voice and find another angle or two for it. I’d give this set a C. It was super fun, but hard to gauge due to the lack of audience.

After my set Rebecca Hyman went up and honestly it was just a riff session for like 25 minutes. We shit on Moe together, and I would just yell out tags and stuff. We were all just trying to make each other laugh. It was a super fun time. I stuck around after and chatted a bit before chowing down on some chips. After this I head home and pass out.

2/8

I took Thursday off since there were no open mics. I wasn’t feeling dope so I needed to rest before having a pretty big show on this day.

My buddy Jaye Toler had booked me to do 20 minutes squeaky clean at his church. It was Faith and Family Church in North Chesterfield. I was super excited for it. I’ve known Jaye since I started comedy. He is a great dude and I love seeing him. I was willing to do this show out of love but as always he and the church took care of me.

On my way to the show though I got in a car accident. I was on 95 and I accidentally rear ended a car. I was looking to merge into the center lane. When I went to do it a car sped up beside me and when I looked up it was too late to stop in my lane. Everyone was ok. They were super cool. We exchanged information and I headed to the show.

When I got there I went to grab my wallet. I couldn’t find it anywhere. I knew I had it in my car when I left. That is when I realized that it must have dropped out on the side of 95 when I went to the passenger side to get my insurance information.

I am now having a full on panic attack. Car accident, and now no wallet It seems like the whole world is against me. At this time I have a choice. I can bail on this show and head back immediately to look or I can turn it over to God, do the show in the church, and look immediately after my set. I pray about it (I'm Christian, I know it is weird) and decide to honor my commitment and do the LoLove show (it is a comedy show before a marriage retreat kind of thing).

It is packed. I’d say close to 80 people in the lobby of the sanctuary. The energy in the room is absolutely electric. I am going in the middle of the show. Jaye is first and then Micah “Bamm Bamm” White is going last (dope comic, another guy who has given me a lot of work and guided me a lot when I started).

Jake goes up and starts to do his set. I am assuming that this is supposed to be insanely clean, but he starts to talk about sex. Not in a dirty way, but just referencing it. There are no kids here so why not. The crowd absolutely loved it. I had never even thought to talk about that stuff at church. I have done tons of church shows and I always err on the side of caution and don’t do that at all. Jaye has a hot hosting set, and I decide I am going to throw my set out of the window and see how much crowd work I can do before I get into my set.

I go up and from the beginning absolutely destroy. I am a staunch critic of myself but I am not exaggerating when I say I absolutely murdered in this church for 20 minutes with nothing but crowd work. I got at least 7 applause breaks (which is absolutely insane). I was able to weave all of the crowd work together. I joked about church, we joked about race, religion, sex, the show, Jaye, and so much more. I got to meet and talk to some amazing people during my set. I got the DJ and the pastor in on the jokes. This was the best clean set I had ever done in my life. 20 minutes, all crowd work, and not a dead spot in the show. I’d give this set an A+. I have anew energy when it comes to clean shows. I now know I can do crowd work there. I can do clean crowd work and kill, and that’s a huge tool to have when it comes to these shows.

I say my goodbyes and head back to 95. I don’t remember exactly where my accident was so I stop at the following exit and walk back. It is like 20 degrees, and there are a ton of cars driving by. A couple get pretty close to me and I’m absolutely terrified. I keep walking, and I have absolutely no hope that I am going to find it. Until after about an hour of looking I see it. I run up to it and pick up my wallet. It isn’t destroyed and nothing is gone from it. I go back to my car and head to eat at a diner before heading home to sleep. This was an insane day, but it was all worth it.

2/9

The next day I have a huge and secret audition. Can’t say anything because I probably won’t get it. I drive all the way up to Rockville MD first thing in the morning. It goes super well, and if I don’t get it I’ll be ok. I know I gave it my best, and I couldn’t do any better. So that’s a good feeling to have.

I then drive all the way from Rockville to Charlottesville because it was time for The Valentine’s Winstmas Games at The Southern. This is one of my favorite shows and I’m trying to keep building these shows.

I get there pretty early, and head inside to get everything ready. Angel (the one of a kind do it all) at The Southern also shows myself and JR (who showed up right after me) how to work the sound board at the venue. We want to make our shows more independently run so we can cut down on costs. She also is super dope and makes a couple of posters so we can get some walk up traffic. Definitely a life saver and helped a shit load with the show.

John Marg and Colby Knight also showed up and helped to pull out chairs and set up for the show. I get the food for the eating contest ready. I get flash cards out so we can have audience members write relationship/dating questions and have the comedians answer them. I get my two cameras set up to try and capture the show. After all of this I just sit and relax and wait. The show had the lonely boiyz (Anthony Thompson, Paige Campbell, and Sam Padgett) vs the love birds (Brandon Beswick, Dylan Vattelana, and Colby Knight).

We wait an extra fifteen minutes to get people settled in. We have a pretty dope crowd. I’d say about 60+. Lot’s of couples and also some single people. This is going to be a super fun show.

We just right into the games (I got a good note from someone that next time I will open with standup/crowdwork then start the show). We play pitch me a romantic comedy. Beswick has a great one about two people in comas meeting. Absolutely hysterical.

We play create a stereotype, and then do the eating contest. Sam Padgett and Colby Knight compete to see who can eat the most valentine’s chocolates. I got these huge heart shaped boxes and they go at it. Padgett wins. He ate 23 and Colby only ate like 12.

Then we answered audience questions about love/romance. It was so funny. This was one of the highlights of the show. We did this for about 20+ minutes, and I am definitely going to bring an ask the comics portion to the rest of these shows.

We played some other games (size me up, newlywed game, etc) and then get to “one, true, three” which is like two truths and a lie but reversed. We bring up an audience member named Alyse and she is hammered. She didn’t look like she was having fun the whole night. She talks about how we needed women on the show(the ones I asked weren’t available and quite frankly there isn’t a big pool to pull from in the area), and that only two of us were funny (even though everyone was killing all night). Another lady in the front joins in two. So the comics get defensive. We bust their balls a bit and they keep saying stuff. It is getting tense. I am loving it, but Alyse is being so damn rude. Finally they both are like pay some women to be on this show and I shut them down by saying, “I wish I could book more women on this show because I could pay them 30% less.” It got a huge laugh and we moved on. Alyse and the other lady enjoyed it and the show continued. We ended on one more round of questions and the Lonely Boiyz won. I’d give this show an A. It was so much fun.

After the show people came up and talked about how dope it was. I think we are going to continue to build this. They are only going to get better and better. I plugged the next one and got people to follow Charlottesville comedy. I hang out a bit and help clean up. I then go to leave and as I’m getting out of Charlottesville my check engine light comes on and says I need service immediately. So I pull over into the Applebees and pop the hood. I have a radiator leak from my accident and can’t drive it. So I wait an hour for my car to cool down, and then fill it with fluid and drive it home. So I enjoy a nice late night dinner alone at Applebees. What an up and down few days for comedy. An accident, a great show, lost wallet, found wallet, amazing audition, great show, and broke down car. I love this journey so much, but it can be super trying.

2/10

I had a couple shows this night. First thing as soon as I had a car I went to my friend Clay’s birthday party. It was a small get together playing board games and eating good food. I got to see his gf/comic Francesca, but also Jason Kusterer, Jacob McFadden, Alex Castagne, and Brandon Beswick. It was a blast.

I then headed over to the Hof Garden I was hosting for a couple dc comics (Sarah Roche, Fernando Madrigal) and Couple’s Therapy (Rebecca Hyman, Moe Singleton).

There is like no crowd here and Rebecca seems crazy stressed. She has some aggressive energy trying to get people to stay. Eventually they have four audience members and I go up to perform. I just do crowd work with one couple for a while. It is fun people are laughing, but nothing dope. Then this one chick Andrea started heckling. She’s just an awful person. I shit on her a a bit and have some fun with her, but she is absolutely drunk and unbearable. I’d give this set a D-. It was whatever. I was hosting and it was a light crowd so I didn’t go hard on her, but she was talkative through the other comics sets. After Fernando and Sarah performed I brought Couple’s Therapy on stage and then headed to Sticky Rice to make it to the show I was closing out.

I get to Sticky Rice and the show has just started. It is freaking packed. Francesca Lyn and Mike Engle are the co hosts on this show. Fran is having a good set and I walk around saying hi to some of the other performers and my friends. This lineup had some new comics on it and some old favorites.

I got to see Sarah Pip Rose do a set. She went first and did well. Some people really bed with her. Then Mike went up and did a set and kept the show rolling. Then there was a new comic I had never seen before (Henry Fletcher) I think is his name. He did well too. The crowd kept getting into it which was super awesome. Then I got to watch Tom Hall have a killer set. It was a wireless mic so he just wandered around the room, stood on tables, talked to people, and did his act. This fits perfectly with the vibe of Sticky Rice. He killed so I knew when it was my turn I had to turn it up. Patrick Owen and Grace Manno both had pretty good sets as well. Grace is an improvisor turned standup so she doesn’t get out a ton, but she was working out some interesting stuff that was fun to hear and Patrick has been hitting the mics pretty regularly and it is starting to show. His timing is coming along, and his stuff is getting tighter. Progress is exactly what you want to see in these new guys.

Then it is my turn. Before I went up two girls came up to me who had seen me before and asked if I was performing. I told them yes and they looked ecstatic. This doesn’t happen often, but it felt so good to hear. I go up and people are talking because it is the end of the show, but I started with a weird Roomba joke. Then I went into arming teachers which I hadn't done in Richmond in ages. I was really working the crowd. This was a hot set. This is a good comedy room, but it is definitely more of an alternative crowd. I love being able to show I can work any room I am put in. I did some new material and I ran the light a bit, but the audience was into it. I asked the girl who had seen me before what joke she wanted to hear (I gave her two options) since it was her birthday. The audience screamed for both so I did. Both got a great response and I got off stage happy. I’d give this set an A-. I got to talk to my friends a bit longer, and got a few followers on IG which was nice. I know it is not much, but it was just a super validating set following the Hof Garden. I then went home passed out ready for a new day.

What an insane week of shows. I am still a little behind, but I will be better I promise. Stuff just keeps coming up, and I can’t help it babes! I love you laydees! I will see you soon xoxo

#car #accident #wreck #church #comedy #clean comedy #jokes #improv #gameshow #standup #winstmas games #alternatie comedy #valentinesday

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winstonhcomedy · 6 years

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“Dope A-F”-1/17-1/20- “Snowing in Space”

We’ve got some shows to catch up on my little sugarbees. We had some hot ones this week, but also what goes up must come down. Got a nice humbling set in there as well. So let’s get started and recap this ish. Don’t forget to follow me on IG/Twitter @winstonhcomedy

1/17

I was pretty stoked about this day. I was going to get to do two sets. The best part is the first one is a brand new show in Charlottesville. It’s super dope to see new shows pop up in that area. Especially one’s I am not involved in running,

The new show was at Snowing in Space Coffee. Ironically enough it started snowing on my drive up to Charlottesville. I get to the venue pretty early and order a super delicious hot chocolate and settle in.

New shows are always weird, and can give me a mix of excitement/anxiety. The excitement comes from the prospect of doing jokes in front of a new crowd, and the anxiety comes from the fear of no one showing up/it being poorly run/no attendance.

The comic who was putting on the show is Carly Crickenberger. I don't know her at all, but was interested in meeting her. She didn’t attend because she had broken her ankle so Brian Gerard was going to host in her place.

Lot’s of my friends showed up, but we also had some new comics as well. JR, John Marg, Keaton Ray, David McCallie, and David Luzader were all there. Then there were about two or three other comics I had never seen before who were going to try it out.

The show starts and Brian does his set, There is a pretty solid crowd there actually. They have a weird energy. Not antagonistic, but they just had a really chill vibe. Which makes sense we are about to perform in a coffee shop.

The seats start to fill up and more and more people come in. Brian then brings up John Marg. John does ok. I can tell the audience is trying to really get a grasp of what to expect from the show. The room is also super deep so people are spread all the way to the back of the room. I set up my camera and get ready to perform.

I had a pretty hot set. Only one of my jokes didn’t do really well, and it was a race joke in a room with no black people so I expected as much. I closed on my witch joke. I’d give this set a B. Honestly super solid. It was hard to get huge laughs because of how deep the room was, but they were into it and attentive.

After me a few more comics went up. The show is going well and no one is really bombing which is nice to see. McCallie has the best set I’ve ever seen him have, JR has some stuff that goes over pretty well, and a new female comic who brought some friends had a good one.

They then took a fifteen minute intermission. Which historically seems like an absolutely miserable idea for a comedy show. All the momentum we had just built up for an hour now has to be recaptured. You’ve also basically ended the show and given people the permission to leave. Thankfully neither of this happened. It was a miracle.

I watched a few more sets and everyone was doing well when I left. I also had a friend’s sister come up to me and tell me how dope my set was. It was awesome because I hadn’t seen this friend in years, and had never met their sister before. So all in all a pretty dope moment. I left and then drove to Richmond to perform at Penny Lane Pub.

I get to Penny Lane and there is a tiny little crowd there and a handful of comics. It was weird because it was a lot of newer comics. It’s crazy how the scenes has changed in Richmond since I started. Legit the only comics at this show who have been doing it for over a year were Dylan Vattelana, Anthony Thompson, Patrick Buhse and myself.

It is super good to see Anthony out. He was one of the group of people I really looked up to and wanted to be like when I started standup in Richmond. It seems like he is ready to get out and start grinding again at these mics which is dope af. He’s a beast on stage even with the time off, and I can’t wait to see all the new shit he has been working on.

I get there and Jameson Babbowski is hosting. He asks if I’m ready to go up and I tell him yea. I go up and work my ass off. I have people laughing and paying attention. It feels good to work out the new stuff, and just try to sell it well. I’d give this set a C. I lost them at some points, and a couple jokes didn't hit in the way they should.

I get off stage and Anthony goes up. He has to deal with a heckler who gets mad about a MAGA hat reference. He handles it well and continues to do his shit. Just nice to see him on the stage. Solid set.

This is one of those nights where I could stay out a little later. Just talking comedy with the other comics. Shooting the shit, riffing, being weird, all that good stuff. One of my friends Bryan was in his feelings about his set, and we kind of broke it down for him. He seemed better after the talk, but sometimes people just need tough love. All in all super fun and a great hang. I headed home and passed out.

1/19

I took Friday night off because I wasn’t booked anywhere and I needed to be home for my niece/brother’s birthday brunch.

So after the brunch I headed up to DC to meet up with Chris at Tjs place. We hung out for a few hours before heading into the city. Chris was featuring at The Improv for Adrienne Iapalucci and I was going to try and get three sets in.

It is already raining and I am an idiot and did not bring my boots. So my tennis shoes/feet are already soaking wet. We go and grab dinner at Super Pollo before heading our separate ways.

I walk to my first set at Comedy Club DC at Club Heaven and Hell. Usually this is run by Tom Mango but this week Brock Snyder was running it. I’ve never met him before. He sees me and informs me I am up third. The crowd is pretty huge. Like this is going to be a dope show I am so ready.

The show starts and already they’re into it. Keith Correy goes up first after Brock and had a solid set. Then Kevin Tit does well, and closes especially strong. Then it is my turn.

I went up and had a killer set. Like it felt so good. Everything was hitting, and I could have been up there for an hour. I felt like I was able to really wake them up. I’d give my set an A. After I get off stage I get a lot of compliments form other comics which is nice. The best part is two comics come up to me about booking opportunities which is awesome.

I then walk to DC Drafthouse. Once I get there I realize my backpack is not waterproof and all of my notebooks and art from my students soaking wet. I am absolutely devastated, but have to power through because I’ve got two sets left to do.

I am lucky enough to get on at Drafthouse. I end up having a dope set there as well. I’d give this one a B. They were a tiny crowd, but they definitely wanted some comedy. I started a little slow which I feel like I tend to do a lot. I need to work on that. If I could start faster/stronger at these mics I’d definitely kill harder. All in all a super fun set.

This time I say screw it and get an uber to Big Hunt. I am so angry about the rain I did not mind I was spending ten bucks. I go downstairs and Chris is there. Everybody is hanging out and I find out I’m going up in a few spots. I do some different stuff during my set than I’ve done at the other spots. I had a dope set. My Kavanaugh joke worked pretty well, and I”m really starting to see the material grow. I’d give this set a B+.

Chris and I walk back to his car after his set and head back to TJs. We chill the rest of the night and I pass out hard af around 3 am. All in all a solid DC trip.

1/20

Sunday is a little more low-key of a night I woke up crazy late and headed back to Richmond. There is two open mics happening this night. Which is dope. Sunday is always a dead night for open mics. So the fact that there are now opportunities to get up a couple times on a Sunday is pretty amazing.

Unfortunately even though lot’s of comics talk about there not being shows, and wanting to grind both of these open mics had like no comics there. Which is a shame because both shows had fine crowds.

The first room I did was Brewers Cafe which is a black owned coffee shop. The host of that show is Remo Millz. This is a good, tough, workout room. I’ve done this room a handful of times and more times than not I do pretty well, but I also do a lot of crowdowrk here.

Only about 5 comics show up, and including the audience I am one of two white people at the show. I love doing rooms like this. I have a few race jokes that I am trying to work out, and I am a firm believer that if you have race material and you won’t do it in front of black people then you shouldn’t be doing that material.

Since there are two mics to go to Remo doesn’t even doing a hosting set he just brings me up. This is not a good start. They seem disinterested in what I’m saying. I’m not offending them. They just aren’t vibing with me which is brutal. Instead of resorting to crowd work I just double down and keep doing the material. Everything gets light chuckles and one dude really dug my set.

The mic cord pops out of the tiny PA and Remo has to come plug it in. This ten minute set starts to feel like an eternity. Then a lady comes in and she has bright hair, bright make up, and bright clothes. I talk to her a bit and make one joke about how she look and IT DOES NOT WORK AT ALL. This was a big fat bomb. I’d give it an F. Definitely proud I worked out the material I did, and stuck to it, but part of me was like I should just do crowd work and not bomb.

After I bomb my dong off I head over to Hof Garden to do a set there. The setup is different than it was the previous week, but the good news is there are more people here. There is an actual crowd which is awesome. The Patriots playoff game is on the tv, the crowd is a little talkative, and swing dancing is happening in the other room. But a crowd is a crowd so I am pretty excited.

The host Moe Singleton goes up and gets the room right for comedy. After his set my buddy Alex Castagne goes up. He cracks them a little bit. He has a good set, and his newer material is working well. He responds to a heckler during his “talk like a baby” joke and that riff works great. Alex has a solid overall set, but then he has to leave.

There is a new female comic who is up right before me. She is obviously new and is working stuff out. Her stage presence isn’t quite there yet, and she definitely needs help with economy of words. She keeps the audience’s attention so you know she has interesting things to say. She just needs to work on punching it up.

I go up next and decide against crowd work again. I double down on new material and try it all in a different way from earlier. This is a more diverse crowd than the first show. So the material goes better. I get my “Trump is the 16th worst President joke” to work a little better. I keep adding to my witch joke as well. All in all a solid productive set. Definitely feels good to work that stuff out. I’d give it a C.

I continue to watch the rest of the show and everybody does ok. Patrick Jensen, Rebecca Hyman, and a couple new comics I forget go up. All in all not a bad show.

The last comic did go up and he opened with a street joke (which I hate). That killed. Then he just starts reading fb statuses and it’s basically just repeating memes. Then he closed with another street joke. Please people don’t do this. I hate this. It’s a bummer to see, and it’s cheap. Write your own shit please. Yes at first it won’t be as funny because doing comedy is hard. That’s why not everyone does it. Repeating memes won’t make you a good comic. It will just lose you the respect of other comics, and honestly just bum them out. Be better comics.

After this I hang out until they close and head home. The hang was super fun. Alan Vann dropped by but he didn’t get off work in time to go up. One of the new comics said that for only doing comedy four years I wasn’t that bad. Which I am going to take as the compliment it was intended to be, but won’t lie it hurt. Such a fun night, and can’t wait for the Hof Garden next weekend. I just found out I will be hosting it so that will be dope.

Thanks baybees and laydees! This was a good one to do. I’ve got some fun shows coming up. I’m at Cozzy’s Wednesday at 8. I’m doing Tidewater Tonight as a fun character I created Friday at 9:30. Saturday I’ll be in DC and I'm hosting Hof Garden Sunday. I feel like I”m a little stagnant right now. I hope I can get some more shows booked, and make some extra cash soon. The move is coming and I'm ready for it. XOXO Love you all.

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